#to ‘actually let’s delve in deeper into one of the possible reasons she has trouble acknowledging then confessing her feelings for Scott’

[cocoabubbelle-newblog]

SCOGUE-“Tember”

(2024/2025)

Day “9”; part 2 following Day “8”

After trying and failing to convince Kitty that nothing had happened in the woods between her and Scott, Rogue wound up spilling everything after the other girl would not cease her prodding.

How she and he were just chatting about upcoming christmas plans, or lack thereof in their case, when Scott suddenly pulled her against him.

How she had been startled by the sudden contact and almost flailed to either jump away or push him off out of reflex.

How after toppling onto the ground on top of him, how flustered she felt when it seemed like she could feel every muscle of his torso and arms pressing against her—deliriously recalling the moment of him dripping wet after returning with Jean from Duncan’s party, his T-shirt leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination as he wrung his sweater—

How after the initial shock somehow brought Sabertooth’s instincts to the forefront and she had just barely managed to restrain herself from cuddling and sniffing him like a cat.

How he had said he was “pretty good” but was initially too rattled to get the words out, making her mistake him as telling her she was the one who was…reminding her the first time when he called her an…well, more specifically, read out the lines that called her—no, her character as -!

Kitty had interrupted. Lines? Character??

…then before Rogue knew it, everything else had spilled out before she could stop herself…

How the blasted study session they were paired in involved reading Shakespeare, and the way he said his lines nearly caused her heart to do a 180 degree turn, almost confiding herself to the boy who was still supposed to be her enemy…

How she secretly craved his friendship as well as that of the other X-Men…even when she was fuming with resentment after Principal Dark-! er, Mystique, further gaslit her into thinking they could never be friends, almost…

…..Rogue had hesitated…then finished confessing how she nearly went through with taking advantage of having the higher ground in their snowmobile race to…hurt Scott.

Kitty’s eyes had widened, but she had remained glued onto the edge of Rogue’s bed, what was left of her ice cream forgotten in her pint as she held on every word Rogue shared.

“And then?” was all she asked in response.

And then the dam had broke, Rogue spilling out more as the tears came.

How despite everything she did up to that point, Scott STILL wanted to be her friend, how it took Mystique attempting to…for Rogue to finally…

The rest of it all came out in chaotic torrents.

How Scott immediately accepted her despite nearly falling to his death thanks to her. Protecting her and getting injured in the process. Comforting her when she was upset about the whole situation and revelation.

How excited he had been to officially welcome her into the team despite still recovering from his injuries.

How accommodating he had tried to be to help her ease into the friendship group and get used to the rules.

How her increasing, confused thoughts about him were not being helped by the small bouquet of red roses she found out he gave her after she and Kitty performed in the school’s Dracula-themed musical amidst the other bouquets the Ororo and the others gave them.

How despite how frustrating he had been trying to push them to compete with the Brotherhood during their brief tenure at the summer camp, she had such a hard time ungluing her eyes from what his surprisingly skimpy tank top failed to cover—Kitty needed a moment to recover from simultaneously squeeing and cackling at that.

How alarmed she was when Jean, Logan, and Professor X chose to LEAVE Scott and his brother on Asteroid M.

How worried she had been after the whole aforementioned debacle took place for him because 1) he had found his brother but had been manipulated by Magneto into altering both his body and mind, 2) again, was nearly left behind on an asteroid that was close to EXPLODING because he wasn’t snapping out of the brainwashing fast enough for Jean and the Prof.—which, yes, Rogue tried to understand was supposed to be the best decision underneath the life or death circumstances, choosing to leave and save the majority that would come rather than risk their lives while waiting for the altered Cyclops and Havoc to sort themselves out…but………and then 3) both brothers nearly falling to their deaths after they came to themselves but a moment too late to jump onto the X-Jet, 4) using up who knew how much of their energy to destroy the asteroid and prevent it from crashing down to earth to the point that if they HADN’T been altered…they could have……and 5) how even after all of that, Scott’s own brother didn’t seem interested in fully reuniting with him, which Scott acted like was not a big deal and seemed to be like his old self, but she could see how more introverted and lonely he quietly was when he wasn’t playing his role as the responsible older student, friend, example and leader when left to his own devices.

How he began pushing himself more into training and studies both as an X-Man and as a student of Bayville High to the point where Rogue knows he’s exhausting himself far more than he is helping himself but she doesn’t know what to say or do because the positive results are outshining the negative ones and if any of their teachers have noticed they haven’t SAID anything and if they did they aren’t making him stop or slow down if he’s not listening to them.

How frustrating it was to see his affections for Jean blossom into an obvious crush…while Jean did and continued to do nothing to dissuade him as she continued to date her jerk of a boyfriend for whatever reason…

How Rogue tried not to resent Jean for her actions towards Scott, past and present, especially after taking a glimpse at Miss Popularity’s mind when trying to help her during her unexpected power surge and gaining a better understanding of her, her jealousy cooling down by significant degrees, but unable to accept Jean’s willfully ignoring Scott’s feelings without having the decency to discourage them.

How Rogue couldn’t bring herself to confront Scott and yell at him that if he hadn’t snapped out of his brainwashing quickly enough, Jean would have left him to DIE on Asteroid X even after she tried to give them the benefit of the doubt as the jet began to take off…

Because Jean was only doing what was best for the team at that moment, whereas Rogue…

“If Ah had known earlier enough that Scott and his brotha were still out of sorts,” she whispered into her knees, having pulled them up to her chin at some point during her rant, “Ah would’ve jumped outta my seat and the X-Jet ta find and bring’em to safety mahself… ‘cause after all he’d done ta help me, there would’ve been nothin’ on earth, in heaven, or in hell that would’ve stopped me from tryin’ ta save ‘im.”

She buried her face into her arms. “Not even the risk of doomin’ the rest of us…”

And if Scott had known that….Scott, who always put his needs last before the others?

Rogue didn’t need to tell Kitty which girl Scott would have respected more and which one he would have been disgusted by if he ever knew the truth of what she almost did.

“…gosh…” was all Kitty said in response. Rogue hiccuped while trying to hold back a bitter laugh. Great. All poor Kitty wanted was some fun girls’ talk about boys after finding out why Rogue was all moody and embarrassed, and this happened.

I ruin everything, Rogue thought miserably.

….After a long pause, Kitty cleared her throat. “Oh, gee, um, my throat’s all parched because of all the ice-cream, haha…hah…”

Rogue felt her gently nudge her side, and she looked up, ninety-eight percent sure her waterproof makeup was destroyed by her crying.

Kitty gave her an awkward, though genuine smile, “…so, like, wanna come with me so we can get some water?”

“…*sniff*…”

Rogue nodded.

As they both crept out their room and into the dark hallway, taking care for the door to not creak so they didn’t accidentally awaken anyone, the shorter girl gave the goth one’s covered arm a squeeze.

“Whatever you decide to do with how you feel for Scott,” she whispered, blue eyes fiercely gazing at teary grey ones, “just know that I’ll have your back.”

Despite herself, Rogue smiled.

“Thanks, Kitty.” She whispered back. “Ah—”

“Rogue?”

Both girls whirled around.

Scott was there, halfway in his room. It wasn’t clear as to whether he was just entering or leaving from the state of his rumpled clothes, but he was up and awake nevertheless.

He gave a concerned frown at Rogue.

“Are you okay? What are you still doing up, and by yourself?” He whispered from his spot.

Rogue attempted to answer without stammering, then blinked.

By herself?

She turned to look at Kitty: gone.

Just the latter’s toes peeking out from the bottom of their door after phasing right back into their room.

….so much for having her back.

Rogue turned back to Scott, pretending to yawn into her elbow whilst furiously rubbing away the obvious mess her tears and runny nose left on her face as she whispered back, “Couldn’t sleep. You?”

Scott shook his head, closed his door behind him, and quietly joined her in her spot in the hallway. “I was going to get a glass of water.” He said softly, rubbing his neck. “Want to join me?”

After spending who knows how long bawling about him until her eyes were swollen like mini pufferfishes and her throat felt rougher than sandpaper, therefore feeling and looking much worse than when they were tangled in the pile of leaves?

ABSOLUTELY NOT.

Rogue tried to force a casual laugh, “O-oh, thanks, Scott, but Ah—“

A pair of hands right behind her phased through her’s and Kitty’s door and smacked her shoulders meaningfully in the tall boy’s direction without drawing his attention.

“—ah’d love to!” The words fell out before she could stop them.

Scott smile was warm enough to make a Snow Queen’s heart melt into a puddle. “Great! Don’t worry, I’ll make sure we’ll be back up before we get into more trouble.” he assured her. As if that was why she was nervous about being alone with him past midnight.

So, Rogue found herself following Scott towards the end of the hallway, taking a moment to throw a withering glare in the direction of her room without him noticing as they turned the corner.

Kitty, just her face phased out their door, merely grinned back.

[dendrite-blues]

For a relatively short exchange, this scene is jam packed with characterization for Loki. 

It’s also our first reliable look into what Loki was like before Thor 1. Not as described by others, but first hand and from his own mouth. I think that deserves a closer look, to see what we can learn about Loki and how he thinks.

This scene is significant because it tells us what Loki’s personality is like when he’s not running for his life. It tells us who he was before his trauma and what his core beliefs are underneath those layers of humor and bravado.

Better yet, since he’s alone we can assume that every line in this scene is presumably true, or at least Loki believes it to be true since he has no audience but himself. 

The dialogue centers mostly around the statement “You deserve to be alone, and you always will be.” I’m not going to focus too much on the “alone” motif since I already dedicated an entire meta post to it.

What I think is more interesting about this scene is actually the looping, and the stages Loki goes through in trying to deal with it. There’s a lot of really interesting character traits on display in that progression.

Loop 1: A Warm Bath and Glass of Wine

The first loop entails Sif lecturing Loki about cutting her hair, kicking him in the balls, and storming away. Loki kneels on the floor and he gives us this great line:

“A bad memory prison? How quaint. Some punishment. I remember exactly what I did after that. I went and had a nice, hot bath and a glass of wine, and I never thought about it again. Because it was just a bit of fun.”

So we can take this to be Loki’s default reaction to pain and criticism. When put into an unexpected conflict without any forethought or outside influence, this is what he says/does.

1) Downplay the damage/threat. How quaint. 2) Dispel/soothe the emotion. Nice hot bath. 3) Minimize the impact. Never thought about it again. 4) Deflect responsibility. Just a bit of fun.

Keep those in mind as we move forward, since we’ll be using them to make sense of what else Loki says in this scene.

Loops 2 and 3: Okay, Sif, Hang On

This bit is about Loki realizing just how bad his predicament is.

L: Okay. Okay, Sif. Hang on. S: No, you hear this. You deserve to be alone... And I always will be. L: Alright, I get it. Listen. You are a reconstruction of a past event created by the organization that controls all of time. So you need to trust me and you need to help me escape. Yeah? S: Pathetic. (she kicks him again) L: (winces and groans)

As we all would expect from him, Loki’s first impulse is to try and talk his way out of it. What he says to achieve that goal is pretty revealing though. Because he doesn’t try to ease Sif’s upset by apologizing or explaining or offering to magic her hair back. 

Any of these would have been more likely to save his nads in the given circumstance, right? The present threat is Sif, and she’s mad about what Loki did to her hair. But Loki doesn’t really see that. Rather, he treats her as a means to an end.

“So you need to trust me and you need to help me escape. Yeah?”

To me, that choice reveals something of a blind spot Loki has to the feelings of others. Even if he doesn’t actively like hurting people, he does prioritize their problems below his, and quite shamelessly. And at least on his first impulse, he doesn’t seem to feel much remorse or empathy for them.

Usually in fanon we attribute this callousness to his trauma. He’s learned that no one can be trusted and no one cares, and so he doesn’t allow himself to care for others. 

But between his Loop 1 sentiment of “It was just a bit of fun” for an event which caused real hurt to Sif, and his Loop 2/3 behavior of “you, stop being mad and help ME” I think it’s reasonable to say that selfishness/low empathy are traits Loki possessed pre-trauma.

Loop 4-????: Happens Off Screen

It’s unclear how many times Loki loops while the camera is following Mobius, but the implication is clear that it was been many, many repetitions. Somewhere in this his denial and deflection must break, because we come back to a much humbler, more pleading Loki.

The Final Loop: I Crave Attention

S: You conniving, craven... L: Sif. Sif. S: ...pathetic worm. L: Please, please, no more. Please, I beg you. I'm a horrible person. I get it. I really am. I cut off your hair because I thought it'd be funny. And it's not. Uh... I crave attention... because I'm... a narcissist. And I suppose it's... It's because I'm scared of being alone.

HOOO BOY, so this is quite a tough bit to analyze. There’s a lot of interpretations you could make, and a lot of topics to delve into. For the sake of focus, I’m going to ignore the narcissism question. That one really needs an entire post, and I want to focus on something else here.

That being, Loki’s way of processing conflict/punishment.

I’ve always found it strange how Loki takes such pride in being called a liar and cheat when he simultaneously has this chip on his shoulder about how nobody likes him. 

Those two traits don’t seem to play well together, and I always scratched my head over how they coexist in his character. If he wants people to be nicer to him, maybe he should stop antagonizing them? Yeah?

Well, here we’re finally given a clear reason. Loki craves attention, he hates being alone. So how does he avoid it? Pranks and mischief. 

Fair enough.

But then, if all his pranks lead to this outcome--outrage, retaliation, insult--why doesn’t he ever learn? How is it that after 1000 years of this behavior, he hasn’t found a better way to get the attention he craves? 

Loop 1: Downplay, dispel, minimize, deflect. He accepts zero accountability for the impact of his actions, and doesn’t think at all about how they affect other people. Just a bit of fun. I had a hot bath and a glass of wine, and never thought about it again. 

The only reason he reaches the level of self awareness on display in the Final Loop is because the looping forces him to contemplate his actions and the impulses within him that lead to that behavior.

This is projection on my part, but to me he acts as though this kind of deep reflection is a new thing for him. He sounds like someone sharing a revelation that he’s just had about himself. We’re being shown that Loki is a man of action. He will always move forward if he can, possibly because looking back to so painful that he can’t bring himself to do it.

Circling back around to the pride Loki has for his knavery, let’s suppose that he’s been on this negative reinforcement cycle since childhood. He’s always acted out to get attention, then received retaliation and insults for it, and then pushed the bad feelings out of his mind with creature comforts and mental gymnastics.

What happens over time, when you’re being constantly told that you’re a pain in the ass and no one likes you? Most of us would take it to heart, but Loki doesn’t. He has a big ego, big enough to resist that constant barrage of hate coming at him.

So how does he marry these two conflicting realities? 

He turns it into an identity, the God of Mischief. 

In his head, Loki excuses himself of blame by shifting the culpability to his moniker. It’s not that he’s immature and petty, he’s just a “trickster.” It’s in his nature to cause trouble, so he can’t help it. You wouldn’t dangle a steak in front of a tiger and blame the tiger for striking, would you? And if other people can’t take a “joke” then that’s not his fault, that’s on them for not having a sense of humor. It was just a bit of fun.

Here we see the union of these two halves of Loki, the lonely ice runt and the mischievous scamp. (And a little bit of the original Loki who Thor accused of being incapable of growth!) 

By refusing to think about others, and excusing himself from responsibility, Loki successfully preserves his self worth and insulates himself to most of the negative emotions he experiences.

Pain, embarrassment, and grief aren’t pointless emotions though. They are vital feelings that serve to regulate our behavior, and that push us to conform to the ways of our social circles. Without them, we annoy and upset others. Be annoying for long enough and you will eventually find yourself, well, alone. As Loki is.

Thus “Mischief” is a self-defeating loop, and Loki is just as caught in it as the cell Mobius trapped him in.

In order to be free of both traps, Loki has to stop running. He has to take a deeper look at himself and realize how much he is getting in his own way. The entire scene is one big parallel between these two “loops.” Pretty neat, huh?

Sadly these kinds of thought loops are really difficult to break, they’re buried so deeply in our personalities and habits that we usually don’t notice them until life forces us to address them.

The cell is Loki’s wake up call, and thankfully he does seem to rise to the occasion. He tells Sif quite clearly what his problem is, and he does it with beautiful, painful honesty.

Which is why it’s so fucking awesome for Mobius to acknowledge that, and to finally give Loki a taste of positive attention. 

You don’t deserve to be alone. I believe you can be anything, even something good. Whatever you two did, it was powerful enough to bring this whole place down.

It’s a beautiful scene. Well written, meticulously acted. The clarity of vision in the pacing and shot selection, it’s really something special.

[katyatalks]

Mob Psycho 100 - Kameda Yoshimichi’s Character Design Notes

With each blu-ray/DVD volume of MP100 Character Designer Kameda Yoshimichi gives some notes regarding his process designing each character. Here are all his notes for S1 in the order they are presented, regarding; Kageyama Shigeo, Reigen Arataka, Tsubomi, Dimple, Kurata Tome, Mezato Ichi, Hanazawa Teruki, Gouda Musashi, Kageyama Ritsu, Onigawara Tenga, Koyama, Awakening Lab Five, Terada, Matsuo, Sakurai, Ishiguro, Muraki.

KAGEYAMA SHIGEO

With Mob-kun, the first thing I had a bit of trouble with was - do I keep his design as it is in the manga!!??? Should I make him a little prettier!!!!!??? Should I make him taller!!!!??? Those were the kinds of things I thought about. During a meeting, we didn’t reach any conclusion, so I tried out a few things!!!! ONE-san’s recent designs for Mob Psycho 100 have been amazingly good, so I scooped up the taste of those illustrations and applied them to my anime designs. The atmosphere of the manga is lost if you make these characters too beautiful or make them taller, so I made the right choice!!

REIGEN ARATAKA

I feel I didn’t really struggle with Reigen’s anime design!!!! His suit is plain and there’s not many parts to his design, which was a little upsetting, but in terms of his character there’s no need to decorate him, so I thought that simple is fine. More than anything he pulls plenty of funny faces, so even if his design is simple he stands out as a character, so I think leaving his design as it is in the manga was the correct decision. In the manga, his tie is black, but here, to give a little extra to his design, his tie is pink - that’s a feature of the anime!!!!! Also, Something I particularly fussed over in the anime was the way he stands, with his hips cocked!!!! That’s the anime’s Reigen!!!!!

TSUBOMI

Fans of Mob Psycho 100 probably went, “Who the hell is this”, huh. (Laughs). A discussion was had in which I said I wanted to make her more heroine-like and sparkly - in the manga, she gives off the impression that she turns a lot of heads and puts on airs, but for the anime I thought it’d be good to make her into a more traditionally coded heroine!!!!!! From a directorial perspective I wanted to give her a country-girl-kinda look, so I gave her a hairpin. Regarding the colour of her hair and eyes, there was a lot of trial and error…... well, I think the way she is now is the most heroine-ish, isn’t it!!!!! She’s voiced by Satake-san, too, which is something symbolic!!!!!

DIMPLE

Dimple is a character that I had a good amount of trouble figuring out how to deal with design-wise - I’ll contrast him with Mob-kun, give him a flashy colour, then should I make him luminescent?? Have him slowly sway as he floats?? You could say Dimple’s facial expressions are the greatest in Mob Psycho 100, so I tried to draw as many variations in Dimple’s reference sheet as possible. Drawing expressions for this work was really fun! When I draw, I’m aware that I give distinct facial features!!! Well, not that distinct, but (laughs). Also, Ootsuka-san lending his nice, low voice to a character like Dimple gave the character depth, in a way that makes him quite profound. That’s the power of voice acting… but it made me a little worried, as I thought, I have to make sure the art lives up to his performance!!!!

KURATA TOME

Tome-san is a character that’s truly perfect as she is in the manga, so I tried to not ruin that! She has THE Mob Psycho face!!!! When I was choosing the colours for the school uniform, my decision was made based on how the colours suited her, Mezato and Tsubomi, but the bright blue in the uniform for some reason or another doesn’t suit Tome-san (laughs). The colour is lost a little on Tome-san. I thought Tome-san was quite a gloomy character, but her voice actress, Tanezaki-san, performs her in such a funny way that I ended up loving her! I think, out of all the characters, my view on her changed the most! “Tome Psycho 100” wouldn’t be a farfetched anime idea. 

MEZATO ICHI

I drew Mezato with the intention of making her the heroine!!! When drawing character sheets I draw any particular trait the character may have and then pose them and see what I think - the moment I drew her standing with her camera, I fell in love!! (Laughs). The round head she has due to the silhouette of her short bob - I love that!!!! Her caramel coloured hair also stands out in her design!! She’s fresh!! And her eyes are big and round!! In terms of what makes up her design she’s not too different to Tome-san, but I really felt a girlishness in Mezato!!!! My heart is racing!!! But she never appears!!! Director, please include her more!!!!!!!! Let’s make “Mezato Psycho 100”!!!

HANAZAWA TERUKI

[Written in Osakan dialect that gets more intense as it goes on]

Teru-kun is a character whose appearance changes a lot - I designed 6 variations of his hair and clothes!!!!! That’s way too many!!!!! I don’t know if the number has significance but we see him in his 150% form the most, so I’ve gotten used to seeing him like that!!!! It makes me laugh so much! I wasn’t satisfied - I made his hair extend so far that you can’t even see the top of it usually! In the anime you could say his hair is at 200%!! I can’t decide between the version of him we first see, his bobbed hair version or his short hair version. How can I!!!!! Let’s bring back his 150% hair!!!!!!! Wow, I’ve gone full Osaka dialect here. The colour of his sweater was decided to my taste. Director’s sole judgement was that it’s cute and resembles pyjamas.

GOUDA MUSASHI

As you’d expect, I really fussed over President Gouda of the Body Improvement Club as he’s a popular character!! His characteristics are his caterpillar-like sideburns and eyebrows, his soft mohican hair, and his brawny body. He’s unexpectedly hard to draw (laughs), I suppose I had trouble with him. Above all else The Body Improvement Club’s existence gives a sense of security within Mob Psycho 100 - they’re strong and brave, but it was pretty difficult trying to make sure their facial expressions weren’t too intense!!!!! Kumagawa, Sagawa, Yamamura, Shimura… these are characters who I’d love to delve deeper into!!

KAGEYAMA RITSU

I tried to make Ritsu-kun have more of an adult-like aura than Mob. He barely smiles, so he has an intense look in his eyes. I kept in mind that his eyes are only allowed to become soft when he’s with Mob. His irises are bigger than Mob’s own, so there’s a bit of a difference there. Also, he gets a mid-anime gloom story, so I decided to make his hair a little bit on the longer side. His hair is flexible - I’d make his bangs/fringe longer or shorter depending on his expression. When he’s possessed by Dimple he’s magnificent, using his powers as a weapon. His eyes become even more intense, his hair gets all ruffled up and spiky, and he’s overflowing with confidence. ONE-sensei’s manga have all become like that, too, actually!!!!! Ahahahaha!!!!!!!!

ONIGAWARA TENGA

With Onigawara and his three lackeys, I gave them baggy pants to try and up their rural-delinquent-trashiness factor. Onigawara’s anime features are his baggy pants and the tape he has on his cheek. It gives off the impression that he’s some king of the punks who’s always getting injured… but truth is, it’s probably just there to cover up a pimple (laughs). He’s in a situation where he’s bettering himself after the recorder incident, so perhaps the next time we see him he’ll have given up on those baggy pants and will wear the same clothes as everyone else!!!!!! Switching topics, what’s up with those two wrinkles he has under each eye?? Please enlighten us, ONE-sensei!!!!!!

KOYAMA

You know, since Mob and Reigen use flip phones I thought that was the standard for the Mob Psycho 100 universe, but then we have Koyama with his smartphone. Sakurai uses a flip phone, too. So, only Koyama has a smart phone? What videos does he watch on it? Which apps does he have installed… it’s a mystery… a mystery!!!! Please enlighten us, ONE-sensei!!!! Switching topics, I’m pleased with the unique aura that his special move, Telekinetic Helix, has. Mob, Teru, Ritsu, Claw… everyone has their own particular colours!!

AWAKENING LAB 

Hoshino-kun, Asahi-kun, Kurosaki-san, and the Shiratori brothers all have a sense of individuality, so I suppose it was easy to visualise what colours they might have!! For Hoshino-kun, the process was; Hoshino [star field] -> hoshi [star] -> star -> Nishikino Akira [A Japanese celebrity with a song titled ‘Passionate Star Disco’] -> white!! I thought, his clothes definitely have to be white (laughs). Kurosaki-san’s clothes are sporty but not particularly fashionable, Asahi-kun was designed with a ‘you’re almost there’ feeling, and the silent Shiratori brothers have plain clothes… it was with that that I decided the colours of these five, having them all be out of fashion. Episode 10 had Oda-san as its animation director - he drew a very good and cute Kurosaki-san!

TERADA

What stands out with Terada’s design is his T-shirt that droops below his left shoulder - is it a fashion statement, or is it simply worn out of shape? Who knows!! As something special to the anime, his middle fingers that present his special move, “air whip”, are adorned with jewelled rings! I’ll leave it up to you all to decide whether or not those rings have some hidden secret to them. Out of all the upper echelon members of Claw, Terada has the richest facial expressions -  plus, he’s voiced by Tachiki-san - so even when he’s undergoing water torture, despite the cruelty of the situation, he still comes across as good and charming!!!!!

MATSUO

Matsuo is monotone-ish in the manga, but, “I could give him a magician-ish feel?”. So now he has a dark green shirt with yellow lines. The vase he carries has a bunch of colourful stickers on it, so I tried to make sure Matsuo himself wasn’t too flashy or he and his vase would clash!! Candy-chan and Cookie-chan were also fun to draw!!!! Their colours are also good!!!!

SAKURAI

This simple, undecorated design is rather like him. I tried to make sure it didn’t look like he was wearing mourning clothes. I included red in the handle of his katana. I intended for his hair colour to be a natural, slightly dark brown… but looking at him on TV, it ended up being more of an unexpectedly lighter brown… Not my intention, lol. His slicked back hair was pretty hard to draw!!! The atmosphere of his design changes depending on how much of a forehead he’s given, the silhouette of his slicked back hair, and the application of highlights. Ah, this is unrelated, but me and his voice actor, Hosoya-san, are from the same area! We’re also similar in age, so I kinda feel an affinity toward him!!!!! You didn’t need to know that.

ISHIGURO

First off, I already knew that in the manga there’s an old man beneath that mask, so I gave him a hunched back! Following a request by the Director I made his boots plump, round, and cute!!!! With that, the woman’s voice that comes out of him with the mask on suits him!! You can really feel how cornered Ishiguro is during the season 1 finale, thanks to the power of his voice actor and the lead animator!!!!! It’s just, he has so many scars on his face that I felt sorry for him, so I want to find out more about him!!! I look forward to seeing him in an active role again!!!! ...Will he appear again, I wonder.

MURAKI

Muraki looks more like he’s in cosplay in the anime than he does in the manga (laughs). Following an idea from the director, I gave him a cloak and a mark on his chest that’s connected to the mark on his forehead!!! He’s even wearing boots!!! His design is all put together with purple in a fashion-conscious way!!! Anyway, it seems the director’s favourite colour is purple. Muraki, purple, muraki, murasaki[purple], director, murasaki[purple], muraki, purple. Something I fussed over with his suit beneath the cloak was giving it a gleaming lustre much like latex would have… makes you unsure of whether or not it’s a high quality suit. All in all, it costs 9800 yen!! A bargain price of 9800 yen! Now then, you there, sitting in front of the TV - together with the director, Let’s Muraki!!!!

--

Twitter crosspost here.

Season 2 notes here.

[thewatsonbeekeepers]

Chapter 5 – Hey, Soul Sister: Who is Eurus?

Do you get it? She’s his sister? But metaphorically, she’s a part of his soul? I was very impressed with myself for this title. Anyway…

This chapter of the meta is going to deal with the various times we meet Eurus before TFP and what this might mean, which will help us to understand who she is once we have stripped off the disguises.

Before series 4, we had real!characters and MP!characters set up as distinct entities, particularly in TSoT, which distinguishes between MP!Mycroft (the deducing brain) and real!Mycroft, as well as MP!Irene representing desire and real!Irene, who doesn’t come near the episode. The MP section in TSoT, for a lot of people in the fandom, broke down Sherlock’s psyche into MP!John vs. MP!Mycroft – and John is clearly winning.

However, I want to suggest that Sherlock’s psyche isn’t nearly so straightforward as a tug of war between the brain and the heart. Whilst MP!Mycroft undoubtedly represents the oppressively reasonable part of Sherlock’s psyche, that’s not the only thing repressing him – it can’t be. If it were simply a rejection of ‘sentiment’, this wouldn’t be the powerful queer love story we know it to be – there is a lot more internalised homophobia being dealt with than just love being illogical. That’s where Eurus comes in.

Eurus and Mycroft are parallel oppressive forces in Sherlock’s brain, but they’re oppressive in different ways. Having family members and childhood trauma be the psyche’s symbols for repression is particularly poignant in a queer love story, for obvious reasons. However, I want to take you through my reasoning behind Eurus being the most secret and troubled part of Sherlock’s soul.

The first clue is that her prison is called Sherrinford. We all assumed that the third Holmes sibling was going to be Sherrinford back before s4, and it seemed that way in the beginning, with Mycroft mentioning speaking to Sherrinford several times, construing it as a person rather than a place. This is no coincidence – for those who aren’t familiar with the history of the stories, Conan Doyle’s original name for his protagonist was Sherrinford Holmes, which he later changed to Sherlock. That Eurus is trapped inside Sherrinford is a clear suggestion that Eurus is something that’s trapped inside Sherlock – a dangerous MP entity. More important than that, Sherrinford is the version of Holmes that never made it into the books. Plenty of people have worked on queering the Holmes canon and working out what ACD might have been implying and leaving out and arguably none more so in an adaptation that Mofftiss. Let’s think about the implications of this. A kind of second self, not shown to the public, buried inside your mind and forgotten since childhood, which is bursting out into a moment of acute psychological distress. Gee, I don’t know what that could be about. The Sherlock that Sherlock thinks he is has thus far been dominated by MP!Mycroft, but this series is about uniting canon!Holmes with the non-canon, queer Sherrinford who has always existed, judging by the name, and who is currently dominated by the destructive MP!Eurus. The other important point to note here is that Sherrinford is an island in the middle of the sea – that’s not a coincidence, given how much water imagery abounds in this series. I spoke briefly in Chapter 2 X about how water represents Sherlock sinking deeper and deeper into his own subconsciousness – this is the deepest he can go. In Greek mythology, Eurus was the name of the wind most associated with causing storms at sea X – this isn’t a coincidence either. She’s very deliberately tied in with water.

(In real life terms, of course, all this means that a real!Eurus probably does or did exist in some form, although I can’t begin to hazard a guess about this. However, I’m trying to refer to her as MP!Eurus when she’s in her normal form in the MP, in case we get a series 5 with Sian Brooke as real!Eurus, and also to distinguish her from therapist!Eurus etc.)

This is my reasoning as to why MP!Eurus represents Sherlock’s innermost trauma. She is not merely the fact that he loves John – he deduced this in TSoT without her appearance. She is the trauma that he needs to come to terms with. A running theme through our analysis of Eurus will be that her gender is particularly important; her representation of Sherlock’s repression cannot be but as a woman, because for most of s4 he is only able to process his identity through the most heterosexual of lenses. We see this hinted at quite early on in TST, when Sherlock takes on a case called ‘The Duplicate Man’, warning John that it is never twins. The word ‘duplicate’ here, removing twins, leaves us with the only real possibility that it is in fact the same person. Eurus’s gender makes that more difficult to see; she needs to be female, but it’s much more difficult to elide the two characters without employing a Cumberbatch doppelganger. However, this hint that Eurus is not only male but an actual ‘duplicate’ of her brother should give us pause for thought. With this in mind, I want to use the rest of this chapter to analyse her three forms before TFP.

1.)    Faith!Eurus

I’m certainly not the first to point out that Faith!Eurus is a mirror for John, nor will I be the last – people jumped on it pretty much as soon as TLD aired. There are a few good reasons for this. Firstly, she walks with a cane, a throwback to ASiP – in case we’d forgotten, however, Sherlock has a flashback to John walking with a cane to make the link explicit. We are supposed to link these two characters, the authors are saying pretty clearly. Faith!Eurus is also suicidal, which John was at the start of ASiP, as made clear by the fact he carried a gun – and Faith!Eurus does the same. Sherlock also takes her out for food (for more on the food/sex metaphor, see here X) which he doesn’t with anyone bar John, and we certainly never see him talk so easily with someone who isn’t John. An eagle-eyed tumblr post that I can’t find now also broke my heart in pointing out that Faith!Eurus’s unseen self-harm matches long-sleeved John Watson a little too well.

This isn’t just the show trying to remind us of what John was like in ASiP, however. MP!Eurus is the trauma prodding Sherlock’s sexuality – it’s going to be hell to get through it, but he absolutely needs to do it. This is Sherlock’s trauma, not reminding him that John was suicidal, but forcing him to acknowledge it in the first place, something which Sherlock has buried. We know this because of the way the image of John forces its way into Sherlock’s mind – it’s much like the way Moriarty breaks into TAB. His brain is making a connection that he’s not quite capable of making and it’s knocking him. His deduction that Faith!Eurus is suicidal is accompanied by that image of John, and he then re-enacts the food ritual he completed with John the evening John left his cane behind, before throwing Faith!Eurus’s gun into the Thames – proving that it was Sherlock himself who stopped John from taking his own life.

This is trauma, however, and Sherlock can’t process it in full – hence why the image of John that breaks in is shaky, and Sherlock tries to push it out of his head. It’s also why Faith!Eurus, who in Sherlock’s subconscious could take any form, specifically takes the form of a woman. His gay trauma means that he first has to process John’s suicidal ideation in a heterosexual dynamic, before fully grasping and applying it to his relationship with John. (Chapter 9 X explains how that plays out over the rest of TLD in full detail.)

2.)   E!Eurus

Taking a jump back to surface level plot here, the first thing that grabbed me about E!Eurus was just how minor John’s flirtation with her was. In the terms of a television show which really rides on very high drama (multiple faked deaths and insane cliffhangers for a start), the emotional peak of John’s emotional arc with Mary being that he texted another woman – not went out for lunch, not kissed, not slept with – is bizarre, particularly when we know next to nothing about E!Eurus at this point. It’s incredibly anti-climactic as a means of John falling short of Mary’s view of him. Maybe we can accept it as in line with John Moral-Principles Watson, but it’s difficult to accept as in keeping with the nature of a show whose intent is nearly always to shock.

With this in mind, let’s delve back into the MP to see how that might give this moment greater emotional significance. Chapter 10 X is on the hug scene, and that will deal with John’s revelation of his infidelity in greater detail. For the moment, the most important thing to remember is that John Watson is not real!John – he is heart!John. In other words, we are seeing a similarly heterosexualised re-enactment of Sherlock’s relationship with John.

I will talk a lot in Chapter 10 X about how MP!Mary is linked to Sherlock’s compulsory heterosexuality; at the end of TST, Sherlock substitutes Mary’s body for his because he cannot conceive of John’s queer grief without breaking himself. This is interesting because the E of Eurus actually stands for Elizabeth in this scene (certainly in the credits, and possibly elsewhere, although I can’t remember Sian Brooke actually saying it). Elizabeth is Elizabeth is Mary’s middle name in BBC Sherlock, which looks like another of those shared name links our creators love so well. If so, this begins to justify how Sherlock’s heart is conceiving of its emotions. We will see in TLD that heart!John’s relationship with fem!John in the form of Eurus is aligned with Sherlock’s sexual desire in the form of MP!Irene. Both are hidden and exist only in texts – i.e., they cannot be spoken yet. But they will be.

 3.)    Therapist!Eurus

This one is perhaps the most straightforward on a symbolism level, but also possibly the most significant moment in the series. Therapist!Eurus, plain and simple, is Sherlock’s trauma prodding at John, interrogating him like a therapist would, trying to work him out – and largely failing, right? She can get basically nothing about how he feels about Sherlock out of him. But this is part of MP!Eurus’s ongoing project to get Sherlock to wake up – the Gay Trauma is interrogating John, trying to suss him, and failing.

Except, in the final scene of TLD, without the help of Therapist!Eurus, Sherlock has finally sussed John – it has taken until Culverton’s confession to recognise that John is suicidal without Sherlock (Chapter 9 X). The sigh of relief that is the hug scene (Chapter 10 X) is a kind of acknowledgement of that relief that he’s finally worked out what he’s been trying to cover up with drugs – so much so, that he misses the obvious, which is that John is suicidal again. When John leaves his cane with Sherlock in the hospital, it is a reminder of the first time he is suicidal, and Sherlock doesn’t make the immediate leap in his comatose haze that this is what his psyche has been trying to tell him. Hence you have this moment of immense relief and fade out at the end of the hug scene which suggests the end of the episode, and could feasibly end Sherlock’s life, except we’re started awake with a much more abrupt and troubling ending scene – Therapist!Eurus shooting John. Because, of course, if Sherlock is gone again, John must be suicidal again, and it has taken a few scenes of cognitive dissonance for this to clock. Indeed, it’s not Sherlock himself who clocks – Gay Trauma in the form of Eurus!Therapist returns and shoots John for us. This shooting isn’t, of course, permanent (in one of the worst cliffhanger resolutions in TV history), but that’s because it’s not real – it hasn’t happened yet. It is Sherlock, through MP!Eurus, finally recognising the problem – John.

This is particularly poignant in light of the opening and closing shots of TLD. Although there’s the fucky not-blood red that fills the screen at the end of TLD, apart from that the shots of Norbury shooting Mary and Therapist!Eurus shooting John are one and the same shot. It’s also a stylish shot (what I call split screen, but given that I never went to film school I think that’s just my name for it) and it’s repeated enough times over TLD that it’s pretty clear the creatives want it to be memorable. By the time John gets shot, then, we shouldn’t be caught up in the drama of it – we should be thinking, as so many did, “something’s fucky.”

And it is – but it’s brilliantly fucky! Head over to Chapter 7 X if you want to read about Norbury shooting Mary, but TLDR it’s a metaphor for Mary shooting Sherlock as understood from Sherlock’s warped and depressed perspective – and he’s finally realised what it means! The version in which Mary shooting Sherlock means John losing Mary (the Norbury version) is one in which John is sad, goes to therapy, and the world moves on. Now, however, that Sherlock has recognised that John was suicidal, he can also recognise that Mary shooting Sherlock will make John suicidal again – hence why it’s the same shot. Mary shooting Sherlock is the same as John dying – and the latter is much more important in Sherlock’s mind.

[It’s worth noting that the identical shots we see in TST and TLD don’t match the shot in HLV, although admittedly that one’s not in the MP – it does strike me, however, that the sounds are reversed – HLV sounds like a dart, whereas the MP shots sound like bullets. If anyone has any thoughts on that, do let me know – it has me flummoxed for the moment. If you want meta explaining why the shot from TST is the same as HLV, Chapter 7 is here X, and I’m certainly not the first to hypothesise this. For me, the TLD shot being the same is therefore a logical extension.]

[nimmy22]

A Mistake: Chapter 10

Rick was disposed of on Friday. He has been dead for three days.

Raccoon High school ~ 8:00 AM Monday

Heading to her locker, Cara found her friend already waiting for her. Claire stood leaning against the locker, bouncing a ball back and forth. She had a far-away look, chewing her bottom lip. she didn't notice Cara approach. Her mind occupied elsewhere.

Hiding behind a pillar, she spent a few minutes preparing herself for the act before the filming started. There were no second takes in real life. She had only one chance, and that was it. It was now or never. Blowing her bangs out of her face, she gripped her bag tighter and approached Claire.

Feeling cold sweat trickle down her neck, Cara tried to calm her breathing. she resisted the all-powerful urge to run in the opposite direction. She wondered if Claire figured out the truth about what her most trusted friend had done to Rick in the Arkley mountains. Claire looked bothered, and the likelihood of Rick being the reason was high.

"Hi," Cara called out with a smile that Claire matched with her own.

"I was starting to think you weren't gonna show your face around here." Cara's heart fell. She gripped her books tighter to keep them from slipping through her clammy hands. Alarms went off in her head. Did Claire know? Rick wasn't yet reported missing by his mom as she had eaten the lie up for now.

"What? Why wouldn't I?" Cara hid her grimacing face in her locker, pretending to look for something. She struggled to swallow the thickness at the back of her throat.

"Mr. Augustine is subbing in for the first period. That fucker is notorious. No one is setting foot in that class while he's in there." Claire growled, throwing her ball extra hard into the lockers across from them. The sound drew several sleep-deprived eyes for a few seconds.

The tension left Cara's shoulders, and she exhaled slowly. "I could use some normalcy in my life right now. Bad teachers are normal." Cara mumbled without thinking.

Giving her the side-eye, Claire stepped closer, caging her friend against the lockers. "Something you’re not telling me? Something definitely happened." Claire tilted her head, narrowing her eyes as she regarded her friend.

Cara's mouth went slack for a moment. She racked her brain for a way out of these questions. It was hard to think through the alarms blasting in her head.

"Is it bad for me wanting things to be back to the same dull routine? Routine is safe, but what's happening around here recently isn't. Bank robbers taking hostages. And before that, the kid who drove his car into a tree and burned to death. And lastly, my runaway almost-boyfriend. I would like a week where nothing bad happens."

Cara couldn't bring herself to mention her missing parents, getting assaulted in the woods, killing someone, and the endlessly piling bills. How could she possibly say anything without digging herself a depthless hole?

"Oh yeah, Rick. So weird what happened with him. No one just up and leaves like that. Apparently, he wrote this note about going to his dad's place and left. But his mom can't get in contact with her ex-husband either." just like that, Claire backed off, and Cara was thankful.

"Maybe he got fed up with this town."

"Or maybe you smashed his heart with a nasty rejection, and all he could think of was getting the hell outta here. Shame though, you could've gotten yourself a man."

"Hey! he didn't make a move while we were alone together. Maybe you just read all the signs wrong. he was not interested in me from the start."

'Lies. Lies. Lies.' Cara screamed in her head, but on the outside, she maintained a playful expression.

"Impossible! I'm good at reading people. Like, wasn't I right about that one guy who was sniffing around my bike? He was saying he was just checking it out, but I knew he would try to steal it. Guess who ends up sitting at the back of my brother's cruiser? the view he's got now doesn't include a sky."

"That was one time," Cara scoffed, making her way to her first class.

"Your point is?" Claire raised an eyebrow, hands resting on her hips.

"My point is, your ability doesn't seem to delve deeper than surface stuff because you missed some real shit about Rick," Cara said bitterly.

"What do you mean?" Claire watched her friend with wide eyes, her mouth hanging open.

"Oh, you forgot to mention how funny and adorable Rick was- is. When I saw him at the trails, I was immediately hit in the head with how handsome he was. Please, keep hooking me up with great guys like that, and I'll bleed them dry with my rocking charm. They'll never know what hit em."

"don't worry, I'll find you a nice hunk to make up for our runaway boy. I'll make sure you got a date for that fundraising party they're gonna have at the station. My brother got us invites."

"That's cool. I... can’t wait," Cara said as she stood in front of the classroom.

"Are you actually going in?" Claire grabbed her friend's arm.

"Yeah, why not? one bad teacher isn't the end of the world."

"Goddammit, fine, I'm coming with you. You’re such a bad influence on me,"

"Only the best." Cara giggled but remembered the problem at hand. One of many. She turned to her friend. "Hey, Claire,"

"Yeah," Claire answered as she dug into her backpack for a pencil.

"Do you think I could stay with you for a few days?" Cara said in a low voice, her finger fiddling with a hole in her jeans.

"Fuck yes! We haven't been able to hang out for a while. In fact, Chris will really appreciate somebody staying over with me. He's been gone a lot these days, especially at night. Work isn't as clear-cut anymore. what's up though?"

"My parents are out of town. I'm scared someone might break in while I'm alone." Cara lied, grimacing internally with every word. she hated lying to her friend. Still, there was no way she could tell Claire that she is being evicted.

The rent was already late. Late for months. The landlord was already fed up and refused to give her more time. She couldn't come up with even a quarter of what was owed, and an eviction notice was posted to her door last night. With her parents still MIA, she couldn't save her home. While it wasn't the happiest place on earth, she grew up there and had some fond memories amongst all the bad ones. The staircase was her favorite place to play as a child. She would meet up with the other kids there, and they would play for hours while their giggles and shouts echoed floors below. It was a time of innocence, moments of joy away from their abusive homes.

"Girl, I'll protect you. Come on over whenever. You don't even need to ask." Claire giggled, balancing the pencil on her nose and crossing her eyes. "Claire bear will take good care of you."

"Thanks, Claire, you the best," Cara meant every word. This was the only truthful thing she had said in this conversation.

----------------------------- 4 PM

On her way to the bus stop, Cara made a mental list of all the things she should pack from home. This was likely the last time she will be setting foot there. Obviously, she couldn't take any furniture, not that anything was worth more than curbside pickups.

Just as Cara reached the bus stop, a light drizzle of rain began. It reminded her of that night. The night she had the misfortune of meeting the infamous captain of the STARS. While she had seen and experienced some horrible things since meeting him, nothing was directly his doing. Those hitmen would have tried to kidnap Sherry, Rick would have tried to rape her, and her parents would have left whether or not she had met him. He helped her several times, and she had to acknowledge that he may be an ally she could trust. But he still had control over her life which frustrates her.

Stepping into the bus shelter, an advertisement caught her attention. Cara approached the poster, her eyes skimming over the print with increasing interest.

Participants wanted for clinical trials at Raccoon General Hospital to test the efficacy of a new drug. Each participant will be paid a starting amount of 900$ at the beginning of the study if selected. More details will be provided after the extensive selection process. All interested parties must complete an application and submit it to the secretary of Dr. Sandford on the third floor of Raccoon general hospital, room 312.

The money stood out to Cara, so much so that she walked out into the rain with a destination in mind. The money wasn't much, but it could help her get by for at least a month or so. she needed a little booster until she could sort out a job. She couldn't survive just on babysitting, especially since the Birkins hadn't called her at all this week. They've been too quiet, and she was starting to miss Sherry.

---------------

With dripping hair and drenched clothes sticking to her like a second skin, Cara finished filling in her details while the clipboard rested on her thighs. Using the number of the phone Wesker had given her, she filled out her contact information.

The rain had not let up, only coming down harder. It was soothing to hear the rain periodically hitting the windows. She was the only person in Dr. Sandford's waiting room until the secretary sauntered back in and rolled her caked eyes at Cara.

"Still here? Oh, take your time its not like I enjoy staying back past my shift. You must be something desperate. Why don't you visit one of them shelters, you know, the ones for troubled runaway teens." she said through loud, open-mouthed gum chewing. A generous amount of red lipstick coated her front teeth. It was a wonder how she did not taste it.

"All done!" Cara chirped, skipping to the secretary's desk. She slid the clipboard over the counter with a big smile earning her another eye-roll. she could almost feel the cash already in her hands, and nothing could dampen her mood. Making her way to the door, Cara hoped she would be selected for the study.

"Oh? so you do have a home. But on that side of town. It might as well be a cardboard box in a back alley." the secretary snickered as she looked over Cara's application, twirling her Coiffured hair. She held the form carelessly, pulling out the piece of gum in her mouth and sticking it on the corner of the paper.

All Cara wanted to do was walk up to the older woman's face and smack the smug look off her face while screaming every profanity she could think of. Instead, she grabbed the bottom of her shirt and gave a generous squeeze. Water spilled all over the polished white floors. "Sorry, I can't afford to catch a cold."

----------------------------

Cara sat curled up on a couch next to Claire, a cozy blanket laid over them. The only light in the room was the flashing of the T.V as shots were fired. Half the popcorn in the bowl was on the floor as they kept tossing the kernels in each other's mouths and missing every single time.

"I gotta go pee, be right back," Claire declared before hopping over the back of the couch and jogging to the bathroom. Pausing the movie, Cara stood up to stretch.

As Cara started clearing the popcorn mess, her phone rang. She knew it could only be Wesker or Dr. Sandford calling. Without wasting time, she stumbled off the couch to grab her phone off the coffee table. in her hast, she ended up sending it sliding beneath the couch. "Fuck!" she hissed.

Peeking below, she couldn't see it. Using all her strength, she flipped the couch over to reveal her phone sitting in a pile of dust. She didn't recognize the caller's number and squealed. Taking a deep breath, she answered the call.

"Hello?" her voice shook, hands clammy. Short of breath, she had to remind herself to breathe.

"This is the FBI. We are calling regarding an arrest warrant made for you." A young boy spoke. He couldn't be older than her.

"Oh yeah?" Cara clenched her jaw and narrowed her eyes. These little fuckers chose the worst time to mess with her.

"Have no worries, Miss. We can have all the charges withdrawn from your record. But first, we need you to confirm your social insurance number for us."

"Oh, sure. It begins with....1234 go fuck yourself," hanging up, Cara covered her face with her hands. she felt stupid for worrying over something that turned out to be a prank call.

While she enjoyed hanging out with her best friend, the wait was slowly killing her. She wanted to do something about her situation ASAP but was stuck watching the rented movie Claire nagged about all day. What calmed her nerves a little was that Claire had agreed to go job hunting with her the next day.

Cara fixed the couch and threw herself on it with a sigh, tossing the phone beside her. Leaning back, Cara rested her head and closed her eyes.

Her eyes flew open as the phone rang again, with another unknown number. With an eye roll, Cara answered. "Listen, you little shits. Find someone else to-"

"I guess your mother was too busy snorting drugs to teach you any respect. I suppose you weren't desperate for the money after all," Cara recognized the secretary's haughty voice, her eyes widening like saucers. She mouthed a half dozen curses before collecting herself.

"I am so sorry, mam! someone was prank calling-"

"Did I ask? Despite you being such a low grad choice, you've been selected. I have no idea what low standards the doctor has that he will take just about anyone. Come to the same place Wednesday at 6 PM sharp and don't be late."

"Thank you. Thank you!" Cara cried, bouncing on the couch.

"It's only 900$," With a click of her tongue, the secretary hung up.

Claire came back from the bathroom and watched with raised brows as her friend bounced around. Not knowing what her friend was happy about, Claire joined her in jumping on the couch. Together they broke into a fit of hysterical giggling. She was glad to see her friend less troubled.

-----------------------------

Cara sat in a small crowd of twelve selected participants around a meeting room at the hospital. She was the first to arrive, eager to remedy her situation as soon as possible with the soon-to-be easy cash in her hands.

"During the experiment, you will be required to stay in an assigned room. Contact with the outside is strictly prohibited. Until we state otherwise. Many competitors out there will do anything to steal our research. As such, actions will be taken to prevent any and all data leaks. My team of researchers will monitor all medication's administration, and You may not refuse any doses given." Cara and several others scoffed at the scientist, Dr. Stanford.

Grey-haired, tall, and plump with dark skin, this man was the definition of sketchy. His ambitious eyes were calculating as they hardly spent time on each individual. His clothes and lab coat were immaculate, crisply pressed.

"Hey, I am not trying to be a lab rat for big pharma here," A man yelled, spittle flying out of his mouth. His clothes were worn, hair disheveled and dirty.

"You will receive your initial payment of 900$ now and then $2000 at the conclusion of the study. Any questions?" No one else spoke up. No complaints. Everyone's eyes gleamed with the prospect of additional money in their pockets. Cara couldn't deny how lucrative the amount was despite the sketchy situation.

The study would last only three days. Three days of absolutely no contact with the outside. Three days and she would have $2900 in her hands. It was good to be true.

---------------------

30 min earlier.

Wesker stood at the loading area behind the hospital, leaning against the wall. Behind his shades, he watched as the two men loaded his cruiser with boxes of donated medical supplies. Once they were finished, the men returned inside.

Under the guise of checking over the contents of the boxes, Wesker peered inside to locate the reason he was here in the first place, A yellow folder of classified information about the newest test subjects. The job was clear. He would wipe any traces left by the research project and prevent any future missing person cases from being fruitful. Without opening the folder, he placed it back in the box and closed the trunk. Trust Umbrella to begin the cleanup operation before the first injection was administered. They like to cover all their bases.

With his hand on the door handle, Wesker paused. Something felt wrong, but he couldn't figure it out. Taking cover behind the car, he took out his gun, surveying the rooftops for a sniper. He waited several minutes, yet nothing happened.

Seeing no danger to himself, he lowered his gun back to its holster. There was no visible threat, yet he couldn't shake off the sense of danger. Frowning, Wesker wondered if Umbrella's paranoia was getting to him.

Making his way into the hospital, he began a search but didn't know what he was looking for.

Something was very wrong.

[horsegirldischarge]

ferdibert’s A+ support- a weird analysis-type thing

sometimes i think about the ferdibert A+ support, and by sometimes, i mean all the time. so here’s an analysis of their A+ support that’s not really an analysis i’m just really feeling ferdibert and want to talk about Them

ferdinand/hubert‘s A+ support is one out of three same-sex A+ supports in ALL of three houses, (the other two being sylvain/felix and shamir/catherine). they’re also each other’s only A+ supports, which isn’t true of sylvix and cathmir, who all have at least one more A+ support with another person. that means that their A+ support is completely unique to them- which is quite a monumental thing all on its own, without even delving into the content of the actual support. 

the fascinating thing is the presence of an A+ support AT ALL.  it shows that hubert and ferdinand deeply trust each other, and care about each other a lot underneath their little rivalry. (of course, hubert will never trust and be quite as devoted to ferdinand as he is to edelgard, as her best friend and vassal, but i digress). if the goal of ferdinand and hubert’s supports was to simply make them friends, then going up to a regular A support would seemingly do the job. after all, in their A support, they’re sitting down together for tea and coffee, and hubert genuinely compliments ferdinand (despite claiming that he is a contemptible degenerate).based on hubert’s personality, that’s seemingly close enough to friendship to pass as friends.

but, nope, they didn’t stop there! the mere presence of an A+ support, plus the uniqueness of that support considering the supports between them and other people, hints at something quite a bit deeper.

and that’s without even talking about the A+ support‘s content! because... whoo boy.

[ spoiler warning for ferdinand and hubert’s A+ support (obviously)! if you haven’t seen it already, don’t be stupid and go do that first ]

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the support starts off simply enough- ferdinand and hubert run into each other by the dorms, (presumably on their way to meet each other, based on the events that follow.) quickly, they both notice that the other is carrying cargo- hubert, some tea leaves, and ferdinand, some coffee beans.

the coffee is basic enough, and not necessarily romantic. it doesn’t mention anything beyond the fact that they’re coffee beans. there is a bit of speculation around the origin of the coffee beans, which i’ll talk about in a moment. however, what is concrete is the fact that ferdinand was thinking about hubert, and remembered what he liked- and, most importantly, cares about hubert enough to give him gifts entirely unprompted.

now, coffee beans are generally imported from dagda to fodlan, from what we’ve seen in-game- i.e., the coffee beans item that hubert likes (purchasable from one of the travelling merchants) is mentioned to be dagdan. there is a distinct possibility that the coffee beans which ferdinand has are also imported. assuming that they are, there are a couple of ways that ferdinand could have acquired them.

1. having them specially imported for hubert, meaning that he thought about it ahead of time, put a lot of money into the gift (which is actually a big deal, as ferdinand loses the majority of his fortune and sway as a noble in crimson flower)

or

2. he simply found them at some sort of travelling merchant’s shop like how it is in-game, and bought them for hubert

the second way can also apply if the coffee beans are, in fact, not imported. the first way is interesting, but possibly less plausible. 

now the tea leaves that hubert brings ferdinand are explicitly stated to be imported from the east, as shown in the screenshot from their A+ below.

this could be for either reason above, but once again, the fact remains that hubert was thinking about ferdinand when he bought the leaves, and bought them specifically for him- as is implied, and as he states.

however, the very interesting bit is that said tea is one of ferdinand’s favourites. i don’t have the screenshot, but ferdinand explicitly says that it is his ‘favourite drink.’ (this could also just mean tea in general, but i’m taking it as the former, since it’s kind of ambiguous, and because of the fact that ferdinand also recognises the packaging and origin of the tea within a single moment of seeing it.) either hubert got EXTREMELY lucky, and picked one of ferdinand’s favourite imported teas from the many available, or he knows ferdinand well enough/has observed him closely enough that he simply knows. the former scenario is improbable, and both of the latter scenarios suggest a higher degree of interest in ferdinand.

next, ferdinand asks hubert who the tea is for, but he doesn’t tell him. instead, he asks ferdinand who he went out of his way to buy the coffee for.

and then, ferdinand looks away, blushing. he doesn’t say anything beyond a ‘well, i...’, as if he’s completely speechless. speechless, blushing, smiling, and unable to meet hubert’s eyes. all he’s doing is giving him a simple gift- ferdinand is shown to be a kind and compassionate soul, and i’m sure that generally, he has no trouble doing something as simple as this with many other people. however, giving hubert his coffee beans seems to be a somewhat embarrassing affair, but his smile suggests he’s also feeling very fond at the same time.

hubert presumably sees this blush, sees his smile and his eyes averted, and decides to tease him. he asks if it’s for someone that ferdinand fancies- fancies, as in, has a crush on. the fact that this is even brought up at all is fascinating, but make note of something else. the gender-neutral term, ‘someone’. in these types of scenes, the other person will often use ‘girl’ or ‘guy’, not a gender-neutral term like someone. of course, this could be a simple oversight, or even a translation error, seeing as the english localisation has been known to get the meaning of many scenes wrong. i just thought it was an interesting point to bring up, seeing that the english localisation also loves to make everything more heterosexual, and the fact that they didn’t change this line to ‘girls’ is very compelling.

anyway, here’s the fun thing. ferdinand doesn’t deny it, nor does he try to change the topic. he just forges right ahead, and plainly tells hubert that it’s for him. hubert is, naturally, surprised, seeing as he just hinted at the gift being for ferdinand’s crush.

after hubert confirms that, yes, it’s actually a gift meant for him and ferdinand isn’t just playing a prank, ferdinand blushes again. once again, doesn’t try to deny anything, nor change the topic away from what is a clear implication of a crush on hubert. just simply tells him to take the coffee beans.

when hubert confirms that he bought the tea with ferdinand in mind (see above screenshot, referenced earlier), he himself actually blushes. hubert von vestra, who never blushes on any other occasion (as far as i know) that isn’t teatime with byleth. not when bernadetta makes him a special embroidered flower to wear, not when petra says that she’s going to make him choose her over edelgard one day, not when he confesses his feelings for edelgard to edelgard, and not even when dorothea literally brings up a MARRIAGE between the two of them. nope, the simplest thing, ferdinand bringing him a gift and the implication of a crush, is enough to get him blushing.

after this, they laugh together! not hubert’s evil critical hit laugh, nor his torment-bernadetta laugh, nor his sarcastic little chuckle. a genuine, soft laugh- at the end, he lets out a little cough, as if he didn’t mean to laugh so genuinely at that moment. to end off the support, they decide to have a tea and coffee break, and make each other’s drinks.

whoo, that was a lot.

the implications in this are so damn HEAVY, even if there’s nothing actually concrete happening. the fact that this unnecessary A+ support exists, purchasing gifts for each other unbidden, blushing and smiling and generally acting awkward, the mention of a (gender-neutral) crush and the lack of denial, the implication that ferdinand has a crush on hubert- overall, it’s just undeniably gay.

tl;dr: the ferdibert A+ support is just. so damn gay. there’s no heterosexual explanation for this.

[aparecium-hq]

Welcome to Aparecium, Cat! You have been accepted for Matilda Nott. This is Beth speaking and obviously I have some bias toward Matilda, but both Kat and I think your take on her adds so much that should be very fun to play out on the dash. Check out the new member checklist, and jump right in.

Character Basics

Birthday (Age):  May 3rd 2004 (23)

Gender (Pronouns): Female (she/her)

Sexuality: Bisexual

Blood Status: Pureblood

Hogwarts House/School: Slytherin

Occupation: Aspiring singer

Faceclaim: Barbie Ferreira

Any requested changes? Nope

Biography:

When Matilda was born her grandparents had gifted her a beautiful, ornate, silver rattle. It had been decorated with intricate silver flowers embedded with diamonds, a gold snake twisting up the handle with eyes of emeralds which peered at the newborn who looked back, completely perplexed. The long silver handle was far too thin for her tiny hands to grip properly, and the rattle head too heavy for her to lift, let alone shake. Matilda’s mother had quickly ripped it away from her when they found the baby with the rattle end in her mouth, trying to chew on it and covering it in dribble. From that moment on the rattle lived in one of the Nott mansion’s many hallway display cases, out of reach from Matilda for whom it was useless for anyway, and on display.

Matilda always tried to please her parents, she just often found herself confused at what they were expecting from her. Their standards were impossibly high that she often wondered if they were setting her up for failure. As a child they expected perfect manners, her face to always have a polite smile and for her clothes to stay pressed and neat. While Matilda said her please and thank yous, smiled graciously at guests, and made sure to never spill her food down her front ,by the end of the day her hair had always fallen out of its tight braids and her skirt had become wrinkled. While Theodore and Juniper’s friends thought of Matilda as the perfect daughter that they all wished they had, Matilda often saw her mother purse her lips and look scoldingly at Matilda while brushing the creases out of her dresses. She was good enough not to be punished, but not perfect.

During her school days her parents expected Matilda to be top of every class, for her to make the right friends and for her to keep out of trouble. Matilda studied hard in the library, handed in all of her homework on time and achieved Os or Es in nearly every subject she took at O.W.L and N.E.W.T level. Her teachers generally thought favourably of her, complimenting her classwork and praising her work ethic, but with every E on her report card, Matilda was told by her parents she needed to work harder. Good enough to not get a howler, but not perfect.

Matilda was sorted into Slytherin and largely kept her friendship group within her house, the only notable exception being Saoirse Finnigan. Her parents, while not knowing the extent of the girls’ relationship, knew that Saoirse was not the kind of girl Matilda should be friends with. Every time her parents asked if she had stopped spending time with “That Hufflepuff Girl” and insisted she spend more time with her Slytherin classmates  Matilda was reminded her choice of friends was good enough for them not to make a fuss, but not perfect.

Matilda started to get bored of this in her teenage years. She knew she would never be perfect in their eyes and had many restless nights wondering if it was even worth trying anymore. There were times when she considered just telling them to go screw themselves - she’d written out speeches she wanted to yell across the dining hall. She wanted to tell them that they couldn’t control her, she was her own person and she would do whatever the fuck she wanted. These daydreams increased in frequency when she realised she was in love with Saoirse.

It had happened slowly. They’d been friends for a while already when Saoirse had asked her out on a date. It had come as a complete surprise to Matilda who had never bothered to think much about relationships - she was going to marry some handsome Slytherin boy that her parents liked, that had always been the plan. She’d agreed to the date anyway though. The excitement of this small rebellion, a few dates with the Hufflepuff girl, was enough to satiate Matilda’s need to stick it to her parents. Not that they ever knew, of course. Just picturing their faces was enough for Matilda, it would have been far too scary to actually tell them.

A few dates lead to a few more and Matilda was enjoying herself too much to think about how painful it would be when it had to end. But it did have to end. Matilda had always known that, even if she’d neglected to tell Saoirse. It was selfish and wrong, even Matilda knew that. Five years together and she neither had the courage to tell her parents they were together or tell Saoirse it would never work. It was ultimately Saoirse who had to walk away, leaving Matilda alone and heartbroken.

After graduating from Hogwarts and splitting with Saoirse, Matilda found her back living in her parents’ mansion, under their thumb once more. They had this idea that Matilda should become a classical singer. She’d had singing lessons as a child and had shown some talent for it. She’d been in the Hogwarts choir and often had solos but she was not professional material. It was a delusion of Matilda’s mother, who adored the opera, that one day they would sit proudly and watch Matilda in her favourite opera The Magic Flute. Matilda was not under the same delusion as her mother, but she did as she was told and attended auditions. What was the point in protesting? It was the first time her parents had thought she might be good at something.

It was a special kind of humiliation being rejected from every single audition and seeing her mother’s disappointed eyes every single time. When Matilda suggested she might be better suited to something more academic, her mother scoffed and reminded her of the smattering of Es on her report card. Besides, Matilda was of the age that she was expected to marry soon and at that point a full time job was out of the question. Singing might offer some flexibility.

The idea of being wed was too painful for Matilda to think about, her break up with Saoirse still feeling like a fresh wound, but after a couple of years of Matilda dragging her feet her parents chose for her. Raphael Selwyn. Handsome, smart and from good stock. She’d resisted the idea at first, but it was futile. If she wasn’t going to fulfil her parents’ wishes then why had she thrown Saoirse away? It wouldn’t be such a bad life. She’d learn to move on, learn to be happy with Raphael, learn to finally please her parents. At least now she was too busy choosing wedding dresses with her mother to embarrass herself at auditions.

Character Questionnaire

How does your character feel about their family?

Matilda’s relationship with her parents is full of complex emotions and confusion. They always treated her well enough, spoiling her with material things, showering her with love on the very few occasions she managed to reach their impossibly high expectations. She felt she had no reason to complain but their snide remarks and disapproval of even the slightest slip up on Matilda’s behalf upset her deeply. She is constantly trying to please them even though part of her knows she will never fully succeed. It doesn’t stop her trying.

During her teenage years at Hogwarts their relationship was more strained. Matilda had ‘bad influences’ around her (namely That Hufflepuf Girl that her parents disliked so much) and for a period it had made Matilda want to rebel. That’s over now. Back home with them she has become resigned to the fact that she will always live under her parents’ thumb. She has accepted that, and now that she has their relationship has improved, particularly the relationship with Matilda and Juniper, her mother.

In recent years Juniper has become quite unwell and the healers at St. Mungos are not hopeful about her recovery. Still, she has some time left and Matilda plans to make the most of it. Maybe before her mother passes they can fix the strained relationship between them and finally Matilda can earn her approval. All Juniper wants to talk about is wedding dresses.

What does your character value in a friendship?

If Matilda were asked what she values she would say she wanted friends who were kind, polite and considerate of others, just as she tries to be. In reality Matilda is drawn to people who excite her - people who force her to see the world from a new perspective. Deep down Matilda wants to be stolen away from her current life and live forever in an adventure book and this is reflected in the people she admires and wishes were her friends.

How would a stranger who has just met your character describe them?

Matilda is polite, courteous and will laugh at any joke - so long as it’s not in poor taste. She is nice to everyone, regardless of their background. She knows how to keep a mood light and friendly. When most people meet her they find her incredibly dull.

Matilda is unable to delve any deeper than small talk with strangers, keeping shallow conversation about mundane topics that couldn’t possibly offend anyone but they never excite either. It takes some time before Matilda feels comfortable talking about anything more interesting than general chit-chat and by that point most people have written her off as a boring pureblood girl with no thoughts or opinions of her own. This isn’t entirely untrue. While Matilda strays from her parents beliefs regarding magical integration she never voices these opinions and in other areas she just believes what she is told to believe. She is so lost and confused as to who she is and has been so used to hiding it from her parents and the rest of pureblood society that strangers only see the veneer she’s invented to keep her safe from her parents’ judgement.

Para Sample

Cake tasting, dress shopping, seating arrangements, flower choosing, hiring a venue. The list seemed to go on and on and on. They hadn’t even set a date yet! Surely they didn’t need to start thinking about all of this now? It seemed ludicrous to plan for an event that might not even happen… She wasn’t really supposed to think that last bit though.

Matilda sat at the large dining table in the Nott’s mansion, fingers running over different sheets of lace absent-mindedly. She was supposed to be picking her favourite lace, for what she didn’t know.

“Honestly Matilda, you’re going to ruin that lace running your greasy fingers all over it,” Juniper snapped, snatching the lace out of her fingers. “Now which one do you want?”

There was a correct answer, Matilda knew this. Her mother had already decided on a lace and it was her job to guess which one she wanted. She surveyed the selection properly for the first time.

“I like the pale purple, with the birds.”

She appeared to have made the right choice as Juniper pursed her lips and folded it up putting it in the pile with the rest of the materials they’d chosen that day. She only paused to reprimand Matilda. “It’s called lilac. Pale purple, really!”

Matilda didn’t reply, nodding sheepishly. Her mother was in a particularly foul mood today and she knew better than to argue back. There had been a problem with the house elf or something. Matilda had long since checked out of the conversation counting down the hours until she was free to go. First, decisions on silk trimmings had to be made.

After several hours of this, Matilda was finally excused. It was a blessing to have even part of her day left to herself and expected her mother would send her to the music room to practice scales for the rest of the evening. Juniper was tired though, and Matilda could tell she simply didn’t have the energy to listen to Matilda’s warbles and announce when she was flat. It was an awful thing, to be secretly a little bit glad that her mother was unwell because at least she sometimes got the evening to herself but she couldn’t stop the thought passing her mind. She immediately felt guilty.

“Would you like me to run you a bath, mother?” Juniper just shook her head insisting she was just going to sit in the drawing room with Matilda’s father Theodore for a while. Read a nice book.

“Would you like to join us?”

“Thank you, but I might meet Raphael this evening since I have the time.” This was a straight up lie, she was hoping to escape and find something a little more interesting than spending time with her new fiancée. She’d been avoiding talking to, or even thinking about him. Still, the lie gained an approving smile from Juniper and Matilda was free to spend her evening how she wished.

She rushed to put on her winter coat excited to leave her family home and escape from the constant wedding discussions. The cold chill hit her face as soon as the front door opened making her cheeks burn red, wind tossing her hair around. She made it all the way down their gravel path and onto the street before she had to make a decision - left or right? Where was it exactly she wanted to go? Where was she escaping to?

Matilda paused trying to think of anywhere she could go. She could just go sit in the Leaky Cauldron. By herself. It didn’t seem that appealing. Arrive unannounced at a friend’s house perhaps. But would any of them be happy to see her at this time? It seemed rather rude to not send an owl ahead. Quickly all her excitement drained out of her and after a moment of silence Matilda turned on her heel walking back up to the Nott mansion.

“You’re not seeing Raphael?” Theodre asked when Matilda took a seat next to her mother in the drawing room.

“No, he’s busy tonight.”

[boglog]

HoC Onion !

[TW mention of sexual abuse/violence]

I’m foregoing the pros/cons format here but generally-speaking my negative points are still gathered at the top w the highlights near the end.

Obviously, between letting a sex offender have a platform in mass media and potholes, I’d choose the latter. My below crits absolutely are not a demand for Spacey to be brought back and he can die in a fire for all i care. I just wish his character’s absence was not the nº1 reason for this season not making any sense

as far as i can gather, this season’s primary arc is as much about Frank’s death (in lieu of Doug’s) as it is Claire’s emotional and political divorce from Frank while she undergoes your traditional postbreakup analysis of who she was pre Frank and post Frank and were Frank actually there this idea might have legs

...but instead we have Doug ://

the level of intensity that the plot demands cannot be carried by forcing Doug into being a deeper character than he was intended, all the way until the end, he truly just reads as either a pitiful sadist or a henchman. It’s disharmonious and dangerously close to bad. 

Frances Underwood makes more sense if Frank dies in episode 8!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She’s literally going to be his reincarnation!!!!!!!

literally...who cares if Doug gets stabbed by Frank’s letter opener? whomst?

Doug can’t be Frank’s proxy, but sans a certain pedoph*le, the plot will just have to suffer. 

Other side effects of Doug’s undeserved promotion include but are not limited to: 

forcing Doug to share the role of antagonist with the Shepards, yet another New Villain © that feels totally unnecessary and confusing (the Conways at least got two seasons)

Frank’s diary feels forced and out of character for someone decidedly so unsentimental  

How does Claire have a bun in the oven when she clearly didnt sleep with Frank for all of season 5 and locked herself in her room while he was being assassinated? How is a Dramatic paternity test not going to be insisted upon in the show’s universe?

fixation on Frank’s will as a McGuffin is really... I don't know boring considering no one cares for the guy? What property of his does claire stand to lose? I’m sure the rich people fandom can speculate but i honestly needed this manifested in the show via some examples instead of the grand abstraction that is The Will bc losing Frank’s assets would set Claire back but it would not directly threaten her presidency. Not to mention that i’m not entirely sure Frank’d have Doug of all people as his sole heir if it didn't serve as revenge against Claire, which just lowers Doug’s importantance even more

Frank never cared for Doug, a largely unlikeable character, which we already knew from the beginning, so Doug’s entire arc is pathetic at best as well as his tangential inclusion in the Cliare v Frank arc

My major problems with Doug’s character began as early as season 4. 

Did not understand why they didn't actually have Doug switch sides by joining the Dunbar campaign in earnest in season 4. Like... it’s such an obvious opportunity to Thicken The Plot © that it’s reached this gif levels of dropping the ball:

P much everything about Doug’s character since then is just so.... lacking, while for the last few seasons they give him depth when he magically has empathy for one (1) woman before she dies (possibly as a direct result of his actions). This entire plot about him evaluating why he was so loyal to Frank could've been unpacked whilst he avoids Dunbar finding out about the murders he did commit. I’d rather him having agency than be a flat, troubled underling.

Aright I'm going to stop complaining about Doug. In season 3 and 4, his insecurity over being replaced and his sacrifices for Frank (and subsequent guilt) came close to giving us a real Moment with him as we delve more into how colourless his life outside of work really is. But beyond that, when his character started getting repetitive, there’s very little to compensate for his alternating acts of extreme narcissism/violence versus his childish confusion / self pity when he doesn’t get what he wants.

Anyways I'm basically at a point where I’d be okay if Frank’s long-lost cousin replaced Doug replacing Frank 

I’m appreciating the writers’ distinct refrain from plot formats and that the seasons progressively move towards the Underwoods but what if just for circularity and added balance we return to having a full-on reporter B plot in s6? More emphasis on Janine and Tom’s sleuthing, culminating in Tom’s assassination and Janine publishing the tell-all expose against Frank---including a reference to Zoe---that becomes the magnum opus of her career (and Claire using that against Frank). I just think the season needed more balance that Doug, the Shepards and Tom were not offering 

The Shepards and Tom, meanwhile, are decidedly banal. First of all, I had a hard time even telling Bill and Tom apart esp given that they were introduced one after the other. All white guys are the same.

Bill just kind of sits around until he has a platform to reference his favourite action movies doesn't he?

Moreover what does Tom do!? he doesn't want power, he doesnt seem to want anything. He’s just kind of there?

Unlike the Conways, the Shepards don’t have a clear goal and are not often in direct conflict with Claire the way Frank and Conway were. They want to control the presidency for money and Claire is always bouncing back from reliving her girlhood to political rivalry w Anette, yes, but what does that mean? What are the consequences? The logistics are so indirect and complicated, what precisely does Anette want? And why does anyone care? The Shepards are extremely boring.

Frank’s asides were purple and long af so I appreciate Claire’s succinct style not to mention her fantastic screen presence. I’m left to wonder, though, if maybe hers and every other aside in HoC is a little too on the nose. Like, they didn't hafta spell it out that the bird in the wall was a representation of Frank’s shadow trapping her, I think we got that 

The artistic intercuts to Claire’s troubled childhood wherein a group of bullies coerce her into stripping naked through the forest, while visually stunning and clever for its self-explanatory nature, feel really passive. They don't visually show us any reason for her not to resist, the bullies even let her keep her clothes after cutting them off her so we’re left to wonder why she does nothing....

Claire was raised to be ~proper~ so her resistance (likely) comes in the form of biting, passive-aggressive poise which is hard to get across in a silent montage but it just feels.. weird

Frances Underwood is going to have a very sad childhood

nearly all the Claire flashbacks are cinematic masterpieces and as much i think Claire’s backstory deserves more attention, i also appreciate the minimalism and the choice humanising moments of her adolescence 

listen I'm sure we all agree Robin Wright is peak acting but the actor for young Claire, who has the arguably harder task of copying Wright is fantastic 

Of all the characters who crop up every season seemingly out of nowhere only to disappear once more once when the plot the Underwoods are done with them, Jane is one of my favourites and possibly one of the greyest characters alive. Smart, mysterious, worldly, a bit of a hippie despite her job, severe despite her sense of humour. Really loves her extremely pedestrian surname. We stan.

Secondary characters rarely get anything close to a backstory on this show, esp ones that were introduced so late. Still, her motivations seem more complicated then others (i.e. betraying Cathy, one of two people she cares about) and I wonder if they deserve a bit more of an explanation. Especially seeing as she has a relationship with every major character.

If anyone deserves a spin-off it might be Jane and her name-dropping career/social life

Cathy faking her own death with a terrible french accent? On stan !!!

Seth teasing Doug even while he’s completely undervalued by everyone around him is a power move

Impressed that they managed three characters named Tom, their distinctly different appearances and the fact that they're almost never in the same POV shots works to separate them.

Claire using the word “female” even facetiously is cringe

Whenever they use the cinema room, the movie they watch is always symbolic. Before the 2017 election, Frank and Claire imitate the characters in Double Indemnity, and this season a pregnant claire watches Rosemary’s Baby. Clever.

i liked the whitehouse tour guide’s inclusion and the cameo from _____ though this season was especially white without their usual token secondary character

So overall i liked season 6 as an exploration of Claire’s character even while it did v little justice to most of the other characters and unfortunately spacey’s absence did affect the storyline

and finally: that cinnamontography !

Not that the series should be pushed past its prime, but wouldn’t it be interesting to see Claire as a mother?

[originaljediinjeans]

Informal Thesis: When She Says ‘I Have Nothing to Prove to You” She Means It, and This is What It Means

I realized something big about Captain Marvel today. 

People are loving the line “I have nothing to prove to you” because of its context in a female-led superhero movie as a feminist motto. HOWEVER, if you look at the context in the film, what is she really saying to Yon-Rogg?

At the opening of the film, Veers wakes up from her weird dream and she goes to Yon-Rogg and she asks if he wants to spar with her since they’re both up. Veers on Hala is kind of like a puppy dog around Yon-Rogg: she’s eager to please, but she still has enough of a mind of her own to get into “trouble”.  The Kree left her with enough of her powers to be a weapon, but they took away her memory of her Earth life so she wouldn’t rebel. 

Yon-Rogg spars with Veers for exercise and discipline. When Carol was captured, she was wearing a flight suit that Yon-Rogg and Minn-erva probably would have figured out was a military uniform. From the flashback to the ropes course at the Air Force academy, we know that Carol had to do some pretty rigorous physical training, so she was already physically used to getting exercise. Yon-Rogg worked with Veers to keep her in shape and also to maybe give her a sense of familiarity. Make her subconsciously at ease. 

But there’s something else going on here, too. 

Yon-Rogg tells Veers that he wants her to be able to beat him in hand-to-hand combat without having to use her powers. He wants her to “control” them and only use them for “real” battle. The Kree see Carol/Veers’ powers as a threat. The engine that Carol blew up was what the Kree believed to be a weapon that the Skrulls wanted to use. Against them. Moreover, they wiped her memories because if Carol knew that the Kree were only using her for her powers she would run away, or more likely turn on them. They put a retainer on the back of her neck to try and limit the amount of energy she could use--but even then she is still quite dangerous. Yon-Rogg and I think other Kree military authorities question whether or not Veers is “fit for combat”, as the Supreme Intelligence says. Is she too dangerous to use to fight their battles because of her powers not being self-controlled? That is the question that Veers is told they are asking. She has to prove that by being trained in hand-to-hand combat and beating Yon-Rogg without her powers. An aribitrary standard set by a “man”, yes. 

But look at the scene where she and Yon-Rogg are sparring. I got the impression leading up to the movie that it would be the heroine training with the other people on her Starforce team. It’s just her sparring with Yon-Rogg, but they are in a large room, and in a brief shot you see other people sparring in the same space. Other people are doing these martial exercises for recreation and/or training. We don’t have a good look at the other people training. Are they other soldiers? Is this a military training facility? Or a public recreation center?

This next point might be a stretch but this is where my train of thought went: what if it’s a part of Kree culture? 

From what I gather in the film, the Kree-Skrull war has been going on for some time. The Kree belief that Skrulls are terrorists and murderers is a rote fact that Veers has memorized. The Kree see themselves as “Noble Warrior Heroes”, and the way Veers says it to Fury, at least in trailer 2, the appellation may not just apply to the designated soldiers and generals, it sounds like she’s saying that about all of the Kree. So that is implying that the Kree believe themselves to be an entire race of warriors, not only chosen to destroy their enemies but to be the best at fighting.

I did a quick internet search. Wikipedia (today’s date March 18 2019) calls the Kree an “imperialistic and militaristic society.” 

To come back to the point, the implication of the Kree being a warlike culture means that martial arts and hand-to-hand fighting are an honored tradition in their society. So Yon-Rogg isn’t just “casually” sparring with Veers, though it might look like it. He’s teaching or practicing with her a Kree tradition. This is part of her Kree indoctrination. Veers’ superpowers are unique: no one else on Starforce has them. They use weapons. Veers uses her fists to project photon blasts. Those powers are the reason she is there and why she has some credibility as a warrior to begin with. But according to Yon-Rogg, she still needs to know how to fight the Kree way. She is still different and has to be “normal.” She has to be one of them. They can only do so much to alter her physical body and her memory. They need her to voluntarily comply with their wishes and act in a way that they can control and predict (sounds like the Winter Soldier, kinda). Yon-Rogg wants her to “prove” to him that she can be an ideal Kree warrior.

At their final confrontation, Yon-Rogg anticipates that the newly-independent Carol Danvers, now in control of her own mind and body and full powers, will blast him to pieces. He just saw her decimate one or two entire Kree Warships. But he still thinks of her as “Veers.” He tells her that he’s proud of her. He puts down his weapons and challenges her to a good old fistfight. The subtext: “If you’re such a great warrior, let’s do this the Kree way.” 

And she blasts him. Just enough to knock him against a rock about 50 feet away. And then she says it: 

“I have nothing to prove to you.”

What she’s saying is: I am not a Kree. You made me believe I was one. You lied to me about who I was. You made me believe that I had to be something I was not. You took away my agency and you manipulated me. You took me away from my home planet, from my family and friends that I once loved so dearly. All just so you could use my power to fight your stupid war and be part of your repression of less powerful beings. You only wanted to use me for the expansion and control of your empire that I owe no allegiance to. You took away my identity. You took away everything from me that mattered. So I don’t need to play by your rules because I never had to in the first place. I am not your pet. I don’t owe you anything. You don’t know me. You never have. And you never will. 

THAT is the real power of those seven words.

Like, imagine if this was Bucky Barnes running into one of the Winter Soldier handlers. But instead of triggering him with the longing rusted etc, they try one of his other commands to see if he’ll respond, or even just give him an order to stop whatever he’s doing--and they get punched in the face instead. With his good arm. Even if his programming hadn’t been fixed yet it (likely) wouldn’t work because Bucky came to the same conclusions about Hydra, in a more roundabout and painful way but still. (dang I should write a fic about that)

Can this deeper context of “I have nothing to prove to you” still have a feminist interpretation? Yes. It may even, in fact, tie back to the point of Carol’s experiences being a metaphor for female liberation. It’s a metaphor about taking back your freedom from whatever false construct you wish. 

I was mainly excited by this idea because of how it applies to Carol’s liberation as an individual being (recovering her own individual identity and agency) and as a character in the story (her character arc). And maybe finally a comparison to having a dis/ability/ies that I can relate to. 

Some other points:

Carol’s capture and her being turned into a Kree hybrid might have been secret  from other rank-and-file soldiers and possibly all of the superior officers. Minn-erva is the only one on the Starforce saquadron who knew, and that was partly because she was a witness. Yon-Rogg is the only Kree officer we see her reporting to. It might not have been hard to cover up.

The Kree-Skrull “war” has been going on for a while. Six years is enough of a drag, but how about before they got their hands on Veers?

Re-training Veers and giving her a Kree education (indoctrination) to bring her up to speed might have taken a year or two. 

What are the limits of Kree technology with brainwashing? Can they alter memories? Could they have replaced her real childhood and life experiences with fake ones on Hala to sell the lie to her? They were really counting on her taking for granted that she was hurt in an “accident” caused by the Skrulls and that’s why she can’t remember anything.

I wrote this essay with minimal research in three hours. Writing a real college paper would take three weeks in comparison. (If you’re an actual college student, feel free to use this, but I’m not dissing you, promise)

Helpful (?) Links/More info:

Hollywood Reporter: A Brief History of Marvel’s Kree (Written November 2014 so it’s slightly outdated)

The Ringer: Captain Marvel Explained a piece very tongue-in-cheek that summarizes who’s who in the movie

I can’t find anything that delves more into Kree warrior culture and traditions so maybe that’s a paper for someone else to write. (or maybe an actual college student who has time and resources to delve into the comics on that subject can do this for their own paper on whatever)

[getoffthesoapbox]

[VKM Spec] Takuma, The Vampire King

A few months ago, I wrote up a list of possible culprits who might be the true identity of the Vampire King character who is now menacing the VKM world. In my list, I covered everyone except the most likely suspect, one my dear friend @vampireknightmeta​ pointed out to me as a joke. Once it was out in the ethers, it became readily apparent that there might be more to the crack thought than meets the eye. After some brainstorming with the usual suspects, and after a good deal of pondering and the pertinent and timely release of VKM 13.5, the theory seems solid enough to offer it up to the universe.

Takuma, the Vampire King? It’s more likely than you think.

On the surface, Takuma is a relatively unlikely candidate for the Vampire King. He’s a comic relief character who was Kaname’s number one toady and spends his life obsessing over his ice-cubed friend. At most he’s a figure worthy of pity, but hardly the type to orchestrate any kind of mischief. Even during the original series, he was always a lackey rather than a mastermind. How can a lackey do any damage without the mastermind to guide him? There’s also his easy-going personality to contend with as well.

So before we can even discuss how Takuma might be the Vampire King, or why he might choose to bear that moniker, we need to look first into what would motivate him to even consider this in the first place.

Deeper Desires: Resentment and Longing

We know from the original series that Takuma was the kind of person who wore a mask of cheerfulness to cover his insecurities. While Hino didn’t delve too deeply into why, exactly, he used this particular coping mechanism, she did spend a great deal of time expounding on his fascination with purebloods and his desire to be necessary to them. 

Takuma has a bad case of pureblood-fixation. While at first he merely seems like Kaname’s best friend and the one noble who actually sees him as a person, rather than as an object of worship (as Ruka, Aidou, and even Yuuki do), we find out during the Sara arc that he’s for the most part no different than the rest of them--he is a fly drawn to Kaname’s fly zapper light, and later to Sara’s. 

We learn during the Sara arc a few key things about Takuma that are never fully explored: one is that Takuma had his suspicions about “when” Kaname’s plans for Zero began, and that those plans did not begin after Zero was brought to Kaien’s home; and the other is that Takuma is deeply envious (to the point of outright saying so to Sara) of Zero being “necessary” to the purebloods while he himself is not. 

This all culminates in a surprising moment when Takuma briefly takes Zero hostage during the fight with Kaname in Night 84. Kaname becomes panicked and tries to reason with Takuma, which clearly bothers Takuma as, well, Kaname never takes the time to reason with anyone over anything. Takuma’s response to Kaname’s attempt to negotiate is incredibly telling--we only get to see a bit of his back, and the panel itself is covered in dark screentones. Takuma was both not expecting Kaname’s response and deeply hurt by it. 

Due to Sara’s untimely death and ultimately Kaname’s cubification, we never get to see what was truly going on in Takuma’s mind during these chapters. His sadness when he watches Kaname leave to throw his heart into the forge could be anything--it could be a pure-hearted sorrow for Kaname, or it could be mixed with envy that Zero is the one Kaname’s sacrificing his life for (it is, after all, Zero’s weapon breaking that is the catalyst for Kaname’s choice, not Yuuki). 

Admittedly, if we stop here, there isn’t much evidence that Takuma would become an active agent again in VKM. However, VKM itself has some...rather interesting moments with Takuma that are suspicious in light of VKM 13.5 and the Vampire King’s appearance. 

The first moment in VKM that always stuck out to me like a sore thumb is Takuma’s cheerfully passive aggressive line to Zero in VKM 1. Zero is late to join the baby congratulations party, and Takuma asks him if he has any fond memories of Kaname he’d like to share. On the surface, this is an innocuous comment...until you realize Takuma knows the full depth of what Kaname means and did to Zero. Takuma knows everything--he knows what Kaname did to Zero’s family, he knows what Kaname did to torment Zero during his years with Yuuki, he knows that Kaname set Zero up to kill Rido, he knows what Kaname did to Zero through Yuuki and he chooses to say this line anyway, which shows just how little regard he holds Zero and Zero’s feelings. 

We don’t see much of Takuma after this, probably for good reason, and the next time we revisit him is in VKM 10, when Zero and Yuuki arrive to “greet” the Kana-cicle and announce they’re officially dating. Oddly, Takuma makes a point to “joke” about not approving their official status. Hino again plays it off as a comedic moment, but given Takuma’s personal history and loyalty to Kaname and his known passive aggressive nature and mask-like personality, it’s hard to take his “jokes” at face value--there’s always an element of truth lurking beneath them. Yuuki “belongs” to Kaname, and Takuma has never once disagreed with this--he is no Zeki fan, unlike Aidou and now Ruka. He doesn’t care about anyone’s happiness but Kaname’s.

The next interesting tidbit we get is a scene at the end of VKM 10, where Takuma questions Aidou about his research and about whether or not Aidou thinks the Kaien cure will bring Kaname back. This is a clear statement of intent--Takuma is interested in Aidou’s research for the sake of Kaname’s resurrection, not for any other reason. This gives Takuma a motive for wanting a cure created, which is more than any other character has at this point (Yuuki already has a way to help Kaname with no cure needed). 

Even with all of this though, including Takuma’s resentment toward Zero and his longing to have Kaname back, there isn’t much to conclude that he might be the Vampire King. It seems a lot of trouble to go to for no reason. What could Takuma possibly gain from it all, and what is he looking to accomplish if he is, indeed, the Vampire King?

The Motive: Rescue the King, Return the Queen, Slay the Knight

It’s important to remember that Takuma is Kaname’s #1 lackey. Whatever he does is in service to Kaname--he even mistakenly believed that Kaname wanted him to keep an eye on Sara in order to rationalize Kaname flat out abandoning him for a year and not even searching for him after his battle with Ichiou. This person, even if he has a clear view on Kaname in some respects, is remarkably blind to the realities of Kaname’s relationship with him. 

It’s also important to remember that Takuma does not support Zero and Yuuki. He is first and foremost supportive of Kaname and Yuuki. Unlike Ruka and Aidou, Yuuki’s feelings and desires don’t seem to matter much to Takuma; they only matter while Kaname is gone. Thus, Yuuki “moving on” from Kaname is “okay” so long as Kaname is always placed at the top and receives his proper due from Yuuki. 

The only reason Takuma gave up on Kaname in the first place was because Kaname loved Yuuki and Yuuki appeared to love Kaname back. It’s been reiterated multiple times that Takuma has “suki” for Kaname--love. Yuuki herself acknowledged Takuma’s love in arc 2. His feelings are deeper than friendship for Kaname, and while he was willing to step down for Yuuki because she was the one Kaname wanted, he may not be so pleased to see her running off with the very man who was a thorn in Kaname’s side. 

Now, all this preface out of the way, VKM 13.5 reveals a few things about Takuma that now add context to his behavior in previous VKM chapters and paint a more sinister tone over his future. 

We learn from VKM 13.5 that Takuma is obsessed with Kaname--he will only leave the Kana-cube’s side for brief trips and for meetings. We also learn that Takuma is fully aware of all the wrong Kaname committed but doesn’t care because Kaname confided his crimes in Takuma, thereby making Takuma special by proxy. This feeling of being “chosen” by a pureblood (and chosen over Zero in particular) is not something Takuma’s going to let go of lightly because it’s all he has. As Aidou gently points out, Takuma has no love interest and no family. He’s not in a good place. 

Worse, Takuma is fully aware of what a mess he’s become and he doesn’t care. Kaname “belongs” to him right now, and he’s going to watch over him and keep him all to himself. However, he admits that watching over Kaname is good enough for now. “For now” implies that perhaps one day that won’t be good enough. It’s a very deliberate choice on Hino’s part to include that. Chronologically, this chapter takes place nearly 50 years before the Vampire King appears. 50 years is a long time to sit in front of a cube reading manga and stagnating while watching your friends move on with their lives. 

Now, with this context, we can look at how Takuma might feel about Yuuki and Ai in particular. Yuuki and Zero, by VKM 13.5, have already benched themselves and their relationship is platonic. Zero, in this scenario, is no “threat” to Kaname or Kaname’s belongings--Yuuki and Ai. Takuma doesn’t need to view Zero as a problem at this stage, because Zero brings comfort to Yuuki (Kaname’s “widow”) and joy to Ai, but he doesn’t threaten what “belongs” to Kaname in any significant way. Yuuki shows no interest in wanting to move on with Zero or have his children, therefore Takuma has at least one for sure companion in his long solitary wait for Kaname’s resurrection. He probably assumes (incorrectly) that Yuuki is awaiting the moment of resurrection as well, and that she’ll (like him) run to Kaname the minute he returns to her, discarding Zero as the dirty side piece that he is. 

But 50 years pass, and then suddenly Zero and Yuuki appear before Takuma declaring that they’re going to “become official.” Takuma is clearly shaken by this, though he covers it well enough and tries to come to terms with it by thinking about how happy it will make Aidou--but clearly this isn’t something that sits well with him. And why would it? If even Yuuki, Kaname’s widow, is willing to move on with her life, what does that say about Kaname and by extension Takuma? It says they’re old news and they’ll be forgotten. For a Kaname sycophant, this is tantamount to treason. Even “good natured” Takuma, stewing there in silence in front of the Kana-cube, imagining Yuuki and Zero are now “moving forward” and all that that entails and what it means for Kaname, surely will snap at some point from the internal pressure. 

I don’t think it’s any coincidence that this is the moment when Takuma begins vocalizing his desire for Kaname’s resurrection in VKM 10, and that that is the very same chapter Zero and Yuuki try to establish what “moving forward” even means. For if Takuma can bring Kaname back before Zero and Yuuki get anywhere, Yuuki can return “where she belongs” (to Kaname) and Kaname will lavish love and praise on Takuma for rescuing his relationship from the clutches of the dastardly Zero (who, lol, Kaname loves, but whatever). 

This brings us, of course, to the ever so convenient “timing” of the Vampire King’s appearance--he appears very soon after Zero and Yuuki begin to be official, and his targets are pinpointed at people who are related to Yuuki. Also interesting is that Takuma “disappears” from VKM 11-13--he’s not even featured at Ruka and Kain’s wedding. Out of sight, out of mind. A perfect place for a terrorist. 

If Takuma is the Vampire King, the particular timing and targets we’ve already seen make a great deal of sense:

The first targets are Kain and Ruka in particular. No human is injured, only Kain. 

The name chosen for this “new menace” is the Vampire King, a direct reference to Kaname. While Takuma may not wish to vilify Kaname’s “good name,” if he’s trying to send a message to Yuuki and/or Zero, using a term for Kaname is a good start. It may also be that he wants this plan to honor Kaname, and thus uses Kaname’s title--one that is also sure to instill fear in the humans and make them more likely to work with Takuma’s plan (which obviously is meant to cause no real damage to the humans, just stir them up and cause chaos). 

The second target is Zero, and the perpetrator deliberately insults Zero before blowing himself up. Zero was the only target, and one specifically requested. The perpetrator waited for Zero to arrive before he blew himself up. 

Zero brings up in VKM 13 that they don’t know the identity of the perpetrator, and that he could be a disgruntled hunter or a pureblood. Zero conveniently doesn’t mention that it might be a noble. Nobles and lesser vampires aren’t even on Zero’s radar. That’s a scary blind spot.

Why would Takuma want to become a terrorist? For multiple reasons:

To keep Zero and Yuuki busy long enough that they don’t start having children, making it impossible to cleanly return Yuuki to Kaname.

To separate Zero from Yuuki in order to get Zero to do something only Takuma knows about. (Something related to his secret that he learned from Kaname.)  This might include revealing to Zero that Zero is the key to the cure, and that Zero should willingly sacrifice himself for the “greater good.”

To preserve a world where purebloods still exist, because purebloods are Takuma’s reason for existing--if all the purebloods take the cure, Takuma will have nothing left. 

There are probably more that I don’t even know yet and don’t have the brain capacity to figure out. But ultimately, Takuma would want to be a hero to Kaname in particular--slay his enemy (or at least neutralize him), become “necessary” to his lord by rescuing him, and restoring to his lord the lady who he lost. As a knight figure (Kaname’s knight on the black side of the chess board), this would be the perfect challenge for Takuma, and it would ensure that the black knight goes up against the two white knights (Zero and Aidou) for something more interesting than a spot of tea. ;)

The Method: Gather the Troops

But Takuma’s not a pureblood, so how on earth could he orchestrate a terrorist attack where level C (or D) vampires are willing to blow themselves up for him? 

Well, simple. Takuma (and the Ichijou family) are highly influential nobles, and there are still plenty of potentially disgruntled purebloods who a.) might like a stab at Kaname and b.) might not be happy with this more “peaceful” time period and the idea of losing it. Depending on what Takuma’s working for (a cure or simply the resurrection of Kaname), he might be able to gain an ally in one of the disgruntled purebloods we didn’t get to meet. An alliance would be very like the Ichijou family--after all, his grandfather formed an alliance with the head of the Hunters in arc 1. And while Takuma says he regrets what his grandfather did in VKM 13.5, that doesn’t mean he’s wise enough to avoid repeating his grandfather’s mistakes. 

In VKM 9, Hino made a random point during Zero’s narration of highlighting Takuma’s appointment to the new council. It wasn’t something Zero was even present for, but Hino felt the need to include it in the chapter highlighting Zero’s despair. This tidbit, of course, tells us that Takuma does have significant influence over the vampires, as he is the head of the new council. He has access to important people, and we know from VKM 13.5 that he does utilize that access via meetings.

So, if we assume that after Yuuki and Zero announce their official status and after Aidou has his first string of failures with Kaien’s blood samples, Takuma for whatever reason reaches out to a pureblood we haven’t met or simply gathers a menagerie of disgruntled Level Ds/Cs/nobles who are prepared to go to the extreme to preserve vampiric society underground. Either way, he certainly has the resources and the potential motivations to put such a plan in action. 

With all the perpetrators of the plan blowing themselves up, it would be virtually impossible to trace them back to Takuma as their source unless Takuma wanted to send a specific message to Yuuki (or to Zero) himself. But so far this plan has targeted only vampires near Zero and Yuuki’s vicinity. Until we get more instances of the Vampire King attacking people outside of Zero and Yuuki’s circle, the likelihood of the culprit being someone they know is high. 

Takuma has been the lackey of two purebloods playing their chess games. Surely he’s picked up enough knowledge to play a few of his own by now. 

Wrapping Up

Obviously this is all speculation and hypothesis at this point, and is just as likely to be wrong as anything else. However, Takuma being the Vampire King solves several problems with this storyline and adds some new depth that wasn’t there with any other option:

It’d be a great mirror to have Takuma turning into his grandfather (and ironically he mentions his grandfather this chapter and Hino randomly reminded us about his grandfather in VKM 11), who became corrupted due to his disdain over vampire society.

Takuma has a lot of unresolved resentment in regards to Zero that this plotline could help resolve.

Takuma is a spare character who, like Kaito, has no real function at this point and no potential love interest to share a happily ever after with. He’s too drawn to villainy to be of any use. 

Takuma would be the perfect foil to highlight Zero’s insecurities about Yuuki and Yuuki’s feelings for Kaname because Takuma does not support Zeki and would actively support Kaname instead for Yuuki. This would be a fantastic way to reveal Zero’s worries about Yuuki’s affections without having to have a confrontation with Yuuki narratively.

This would also be a great opportunity to tie up the loose ends about Zero’s special nature, Kaname’s original interest in Zero, Kaname’s real plans for Zero, Takuma’s knowledge of Kaname’s plans, and what Takuma’s “secret” actually is. 

This frees Kaien up to be going on his adventures for Juri’s sake in order to bring back whatever is necessary to stop Takuma and thus finally regain his place as Zero and Yuuki’s proper guardian and atone for his mistakes in the original series. 

If Takuma is the Vampire King, it would explain why a.) Kaname’s cube-site becomes rundown and abandoned and b.) Takuma is nowhere to be found when Kaname awakens (if he was still alive/free, he’d surely want to be by Kaname’s side).

My ideal variant of this theory, of course, would be that Takuma knows Kaname planned to sacrifice Zero for the cure and that he’s patiently tried to allow Aidou to find a better/more life-preserving way but after nearly 100 years gets impatient and decides to take matters into his own hands. What I would love, if Hino won’t give me a specific Zero and Yuuki break up, is if Takuma kidnaps Zero (and Yuuki thinks Zero just left her, and so she doesn’t search for him), and reveals that he’s aware of all Zero’s insecurities about Yuuki and preys on them in order to get Zero to agree to willingly become the cure, then release him to take on the task. 

This would be a fantastic obstacle for Yuuki and Aidou because a.) when Zero is returned to them, they won’t understand why he’s suddenly aloof and unwilling to open up to them and b.) Yuuki will mistakenly think Zero’s pushing her away because he’s done with her and will have to find a way to reach him with her true feelings, not knowing that he’s planning to die in order to restore Kaname to her and remove himself from the picture. (An exact repeat of what Kaname did in Vampire Knight, but with more altruistic intentions, paralleling the situation once again.)

But, this is Hino, so likely this is too cool for her to accomplish. =P Still, it’d bring a lot of fantastic and much-needed drama to this dry, dull storyline and would certainly be far more fun than Random Pureblood B attacks Yuuki because she’s pwerfect. *sigh*

Guess we’ll find out soon enough.

Until next time!

[fathomintoxconstellations]

{ALEXANDRA DADDARIO, FEMALE, SHE/HER ) ⌇ have you seen MADISON “MADI” MONTGOMERY around icaria? they are the 30 year old child of ATHENA. they remind me of endearing rambles, worn-out sneakers, and clenched fists. They’ve been on the island for 2 months.

basics:

Full Name: Madison Jane Montgomery

Nickname: Madi

Parents: Carter Abbott & Athena

D.O.B.: December 20th

Age: 30

Profession: Bartender at Night Shade/Popular Murder Mystery Novelist

Spoken Languages: English & Greek fluently (But, knows a handful of other phrases/bits and pieces from other languages)

Abilities: Telepathy & Mimicry (still learning control)

bio:

Tw: Abuse, Rape

Carter Abbott was a stubborn man, but a smart man. Like his dad before him he studied history and believed if you wanted to change the future you had to look in the past. Carter was on his way to his friends house when he was stopped by a woman. She was striking and brutal all at the same time. They were only supposed to spend one night. He honestly forgot or at least he would have told everyone he forgot about that woman he had that one night stand with. Until he saw her again this time she had a child with her. He asked her who the baby was and she simply handed the boy over and smiled. She told him who she was and told him to name the baby after a great man since that’s what their son was going to be. But, they didn’t just have a son. A few years later, Carter ended up finding himself face to face with the striking goddess once more. This time, she bore a daughter to whom he named Madison after James Madison.

Raising Link and Madi was far from an easy feat. Link always seemed to know exactly what he was going to say or do and when Link argued back, Madi was right there with him. The ornery little girl edging her big brother, who she looked up to more than anyone in the world, on. Madi was a bright girl full of life. She rarely ever sat still, always running around with this infectious smile. She was playful and yet endearing. A breath of fresh air and, while Link always had witty and quick retorts, Madi was one to ramble on and on.

They had a happy and rambunctious family. But, their little trio didn’t last. Their father delved deeper and deeper into his research, being consumed by his obsession with the past and when Madi was only 12 years old, their father went on a research trip and never returned. They wanted to go look for him, but they were denied and they never were able to figure out what happened to him. 

Their father’s passion was history, Link’s passion was money and finance, and Madi? Madi had always felt a bit lost. She was a curious child in nature, quick to jump from one skill to the next.  But, she never had that one thing she wanted to do for the rest of her life. She changed her major far too many times and even took a gap year to travel the world, before finally settling with Criminology. She figured she could apply for the CIA when she graduated or go into Forensic Analysis- do something that made a difference and hopefully allowed her to continue to travel. But, life had other plans. 

Madi met Alek during her Senior Year. He was a magnanimous person who didn’t give her much of a choice not to be drawn to him. He was charming, funny, devious, and manipulative. He had a youthfulness about him that bordered on immaturity. At first, Mads wasn’t interested. She wasn’t swayed by his good looks or sweet words. But, In the midst of his flirty lines, they became friends. Alek made her laugh, made her feel special and made her feel worth while. She had misgivings about whether or not he was the one, but she enjoyed how much he coveted her and, as much as it pains her to admit, she had needed someone to rely on at the time. She had just developed the gift of telepathy. Her brain flooded with the overwhelming thoughts of others to the point where it was painful to even think. It quickly became easy, convenient even, for him to ostracize her from others and be her rock. So, when Alek proposed, it wasn’t even a question whether or not she’d say yes.

Link warned her about Alek. He had a premonition that her husband would cheat on her. But, Link saw all future possibilities and neither of them knew which ones would come true or at least that’s what she convinced herself of. Madi convinced herself that she loved the man she married and that she was going to make it work. The violence escalated about as quickly as their relationship did, but she stayed with him. Madi had once been fairly strong willed. She’d even shove bullies down if they tried to pick on one of her classmates. Madi had always defended the underdog, but when it came to defending herself, she fell short. His apologies were heartfelt and affective in getting them back to sanity and a semblance of a loving relationship. That was until his fists would collide against her skin once more or he’d pin her down against the bed and force himself upon her and the cycle would start all over again. 

She should have gotten out a lot sooner than she did. But, the straw that broke the camal’s back wasn’t from any of the violence or abuse. It wasn’t even the time he inevitably caused her to miscarriage. Nope. The thing that did it was when she read his mind and discovered that the man who had always felt so much guilt and sympathy after everything he had done to her was cheating on her. 

In an instant, it felt like a switch had flipped. She packed up as much as she could into one bag, while he was at work, and hopped in a taxi and headed to the first bar she could find. That night she ended up falling in bed with a complete stranger. But, even though she didn’t know the woman laying beside her, she couldn’t help, but feel like whatever her life held for her would be better.

Madi rarely talks about what happened with her failed marriage, moving to Icaria where her brother has been living and working to discover the bright girl she used to be once more. 

wanted connections:

Family:

Biological Brother: Link

Half-Siblings: Kennedy (Bond over Criminology Backgrounds) & Viv (friends who drifted apart later discovered half-sibs)

Ex-Sister in Law/Act like Sisters- Mara

Cousin- Phoebe

Acts like a Big Brother- Jack

Work: 

Fans of her Murder Mystery Fiction Novels- Mari’s Dad; 

Fans of Trash Romance Novels that she used to Ghost Write- Eve;

Boss- Ivy

Patrons/Co-Workers at Night Shade

Person to try out new cocktails on

Friendships:

Best Male Friend

Best Female Friend- Delilah (grew up in NY together); 

Friends from NY- Wolfgang; Raye,

Friends - Lachlan; Lisa;

Ex-Wives Club- Harper (met at a Divorcee Event); 

Little rays of sunshine who get high on occasion- Gianna

Role Model/Dysfunctional Role Model 

A couple of goofballs - Caelan, Harley

Someone who brings out the best in her

Someone who brings out the worst in her

Workout Buddy/Sparring Partner

Partner in Not So Crime- Deacon

Friends from College

Friends from High School

Childhood Best Friend- 

Family Friends-

Phone a Friend (Goes to/calls her whenever they’re in trouble/vice a versa)

Old Roommates

Roommates

Couch Surfer (Someone who used to let her crash on their couch from time to time)

One Sided Friendship

Break into Showtunes/Disney Buddies

Karaoke Partners

Frenemies (Act super nice, but actually don’t get along/like each other)

Bickering Frenemies (Act like they hate each other, but really love the hell out of each other)

Friends who had a falling out

Friends who grew apart

Someone who takes her under their wing

Someone who she takes under her wing

Mom Friend - Nelly

Dad Friend

Someone who brings out the more serious side of her

A friend who is lying to her

A friend who she is lying to

Toxic Friendship

Rivals

Acquaintances (Have always been aware of the other person’s existence, but for some reason have never grown close)

Stumbled upon each other in either an awkward or personal moment and now have trouble looking each other in the eyes

Wingwoman (Someone she’s a wingwoman for)

Wingman/Wingwoman for Her

Fake friend

Fake staker (someone who teases her about stalking them, but actually enjoys their company)

Breakfast Club (Someone she met once when traveling. They opened up to each other and had a breakfast club-esque relationship for a day/weekend before they parted ways, only to see each other again now) - Anya

Good Influence

Bad Influence 

Someone who helps her gain more control of her abilities

Someone who she helps gain more control of their abilities

Play pranks on one another until someone gets in trouble/hurt

Serendipity (Someone who she consistently runs into again and again over the years; could be friends or acquaintances, but neither can deny, it’s weird that they keep on meeting like this)

Relationships:

Exes who ended on good terms

Exes who ended on bad terms

First time

Old Flame

Past one night stand

FWB - Ulani;

Crush

Ex Crush turned Friend

Ex Crush turned Foe

Exes who are now friends, but don’t ever talk about the fact that they dated

Unrequited love

First boyfriend

First girlfriend

Kindergarten couple

Hooked up with the night she left her husband- HJ

[unifycosmos]

The A-Z Guide to Parvati Mantra [+Free Printable Puja Guide]

Parvati mantras are those dedicated to the Goddess Parvati, known for her wifely devotion to Lord Shiva. As a goddess of family and love, she is the ideal entity to turn to for help with marriage, parenting, and fertility.

5 Free Printable Puja Guides to help you chant Parvati Mantras

I’m so proud of these puja guides, so I couldn’t be more excited to share them with you today!

As you may know by now, I like to write long and helpful posts for my readers. Sometimes, however, I get an idea to do something more, something even more useful.

That’s why I decided to prepare something that people could have in hand while reciting mantras. Something printable, easy to read, and that could act as a puja guide.

That’s how these guides were born.

Each guide has a big picture of a divinity that you need to devote to, a mantra, and a how-to guide to help you prepare yourself for reciting. It’s in A4 format, and all you need to do is to print it.

These Parvati mantra puja guides are completely free; all you need to do is to enter your email in the box below to unlock them.

Just click on one or all of the links below and the free PDF file will download immediately!

Parvathi Swayamvara Dhyana Sloka Puja Guide – Click Here to Get It

Parvati Swayamvara Mantra Puja Guide – Click Here to Get It

Swayamvara parvathi Moola Mantra Puja Guide – Click Here to Get It

Powerful Parvati Mantra Puja Guide – Click Here to Get It

Parvati Sloka Puja Guide – Click Here to Get It

What is Parvati Mantra?

Parvati, like most Hindu deities, has other names as aspects such as Durga, Shakti, and Kali. She is in fact an aspect of Maha Shakti, mother of the universe, further connecting her to the forces of creation on a cosmic and personal scale.

Like with any deity or mantra, there are many variations to the Parvati mantra, each with their own benefits. It is common to find Shakti mantras and Parvati mantras mentioned almost interchangeably, as they evoke different aspects of the same figure.

There are many reasons to use the Parvati mantra:

Reconcile difficulties in relationships.

Strengthen bonds in relationships.

Increase fertility.

Help with parenting.

Find inner strength.

Help with self-determination.

Let’s delve deeper, so we have a proper understanding of Parvati, the various mantras devoted to her, their meaning, and their miraculous benefits.

Who Exactly is Goddess Parvati and How Exactly Is She Connected With This Mantra?

As mentioned above, Parvati is one of the many forms of Shakti. Shakti is the feminine energy of the universe, that unknowable but enlivening force present at the birth of all existence.

Goddess Parvati

Shakti manifested as Parvati in order to draw Shiva, the warrior god, out of his meditation. After the loss of his wife, Shiva retreated from the world, preferring to meditate in a cave. In his absence, the world became overrun with demons emboldened by the lack of a divine protector.

The other gods implored Shakti, the pure feminine energy of the universe, to help. Shakti manifested Parvati to seduce Shiva. After several failed courtship attempts, Parvati realized that to truly win Shiva’s heart, she had to relate to him by his interests — strength, perseverance, a force of will.

By mastering her mind and body, she finally drew the attention of Shiva away from his meditation to her — and then the world.

The power of Parvati lies in both her marital devotion to Shiva and also her ability to match him in his austerities and mastery of mind and body. So closely did Parvati and Shiva become linked that it is often said that one cannot truly worship Shiva without worshipping Parvati as well.

Parvati is portrayed in various forms. As Parvati, she is seen with Shiva by her side and Ganesha in her lap. As Durga, she is dressed in red, riding a lion, her many arms full of weapons. Sometimes she is portrayed carrying the trishula trident, just as Shiva is.

How to Chant Parvati Mantra?

There is no one Parvati mantra. Like most deities, mantras devoted to Parvati can be combined with other mantras and other concepts — such as bija or seed mantras — to create many different, powerful mantras.

Regardless of the specific mantra you choose to chant, there is a suggested structure of the puja you should follow. These following steps apply to all Parvati mantras.

Cleanse your hands and feet prior to beginning the chant.

Sit facing North or East when doing the puja.

Devote yourself completely to Goddess Parvati. Feel the positivity, love, and fertile energies of the Universe.

Look at her picture or look up at the sun in the sky and when doing the puja.

Wearing white garments with a few red pieces of clothing shows our absolute devotion to the goddess.

Recite the Parvati mantras at least for 48 days with devotion in order to see the desired results.

Chant daily, if possible — this will give you the best outcome.

Chant the mantras 9, 27, 54, 108, or 1,008 times. Count them out on the beads of a rosary to ensure precision.

So, what are the actual Parvati mantras? Here are some of the most powerful Parvati mantras you can find.

Parvati Swayamvara Mantra

“Om Hreem Yoginim Yogini Yogeswari Yoga Bhayankari Sakala Sthavara Jangamasya Mukha Hridayam Mama Vasamakarsha Akarshaya.”

Meaning: “O thou who is always in Union with Lord Shiva, give me the power of attraction and fascination, O Noble One!”

This mantra is intended to remove all obstacles to marriage. As we know, there are many obstacles that can stand between lovers and marriage. Financial troubles, problems of argumentative families, or even whether someone is truly ready to commit. The Parvati swayamvara mantra will help overcome all of these challenges to facilitate a successful marriage.

Parvathi Swayamvara Dhyana Sloka

“Balarkayutha Suprabham Karathale Rolambamalakritham Malaam Sandhadhatheem Manohara Thanum Mandasmithodyanmukheem Mandam Mandamupeyushim Varayithum Shambhum Jaganmohinim Vande Deva Munindra Vanditha Padam Ishtarthadham Parvathim.”

This dhyana sloka mantra is used to attract the desired husband as soon as possible. For best results, it should be recited every Friday with utmost devotion. This is perfect for women in committed relationships who wish for their husband to take the next step.

Parvati Sloka

“Sarva Mangala Maangalye, Shive Sarvaartha Saadhike Sharanye Tryambake Gaurii, Naaraayanii Namostute.”

Meaning: “Goddess Parvati is the auspiciousness of all that is auspicious. She is the consort of Lord Shiva, who grants every desire of one’s heart. I adore such Devi Parvati, who loves all her children. I bow to the great mother, who has given refuge to me.

Whereas the previous mantra is intended to attract a specific mate, this mantra is meant to evoke Parvati in all of her aspects. It enhances relationships by evoking Parvati’s devotion to Shiva — reconciling problems, enhancing and deepening connections. But it also calls upon Parvati as a source of fertility, staving off miscarriage and promoting healthy pregnancy in the practitioner.

Powerful Parvati Mantra

“Maata Cha Paarvati Devi, Pitaa Devo Maheshvara Baandhavah Shiva Bhaktaacha, Svadesho Bhuvanatrayam.”

Meaning: “Goddess Parvati is the mother and the divine father is Shiva. The devotees are the children. The world is the creation of these divine beings and we live on the land of such celestial beings.”

This mantra again evokes Parvati in all of her aspects. However, where the other mantras were dedicated to her role as mother and wife, this mantra also evokes Parvati as a determined, auspicious being. Chanting this mantra helps the practitioner find inner strength and determination in themselves and their work.

Swayamvara Parvathi Moola Mantra

“Om Hreem Yogini Yogini Yogeswari Yoga Bhayankarai Sakala Sthavara Jangamasya Mukha Hrudayam Mama Vasam Akarsha Akarshaya Namaha.”

This is similar to the first mantra mentioned first but slightly modified. It’s not just for removing obstacles to marriage, but also to avoid divorce and enhance fertility. It is all of the things that Parvati bestows upon her followers in a concise, singular mantra.

Miraculous Parvati Mantra Benefits

Parvati mantras are particularly powerful for removing obstacles to relationships and improving fertility.

Some of them are:

Remove delays in marriage. Whether man or woman, Parvati mantras will help to expedite the marriage process. If you’re a woman waiting for your man to propose to you, the Parvati mantra is for you. If you’re a man hoping your woman will accept your marriage proposal, the Parvati mantra is for you. Parvati is known for her devotion to Shiva, and chanting her mantras will confer this devotion to your own relationships.

Strengthen existing relationships. The Parvati mantra doesn’t just create relationships; it helps to build existing ones. Through devoted chanting of the Parvati mantras, you can overcome relationship obstacles in your life. Whether it’s a disagreement with the spouse or an issue which might shake the bedrock of your relationship, the Parvati mantra can help smooth things over.

Avoid divorce. If your marriage is already on the rocks, it might seem like divorce is inevitable. But through devoted chanting of the Parvati mantra, you may yet hope to avoid divorce. Through the use of the Parvati mantra, you should be able to reconcile your differences and rekindle your lost romance through invoking the devotion and love of Parvati and Shiva.

Increase fertility. If you’re struggling to conceive a child — or simply wish to avoid issues altogether — the Parvati mantras are perfect for you. Parvati is the goddess of fertility, derived from Shakti, mother of creation. Devoted chanting to Parvati will increase your chances of fertility and decrease the risk of miscarriage.

Inner strength and determination. We cannot make the mistake of just associating Parvati with her devotion to Shiva. In order to capture his attention, she had to achieve the same austerity as him, as well as the same physical and mental mastery. Chanting Parvati mantras help you to draw this inner strength and determination into yourself; increasing your motivation, your drive, and your ability to achieve goals.

Final Thoughts

Parvati is one of the many aspects of Maha Shakti, the universal feminine force and the mother of creation. She embodies not only marital devotion but inner strength and self-determination. Chanting her mantra will improve your marital situation, prevent divorce, embolden your own desires and goals, and promote fertility.

Related articles: The Complete Guide to Shreem Mantra [Secrets of Money Mantra] The Absolute Guide to Surya Gayatri Mantra [Blessed By Lord Surya] The Complete Guide to Chamunda Mantra [Feel Miraculous Blessings] The A-Z Guide to Vakratunda Mahakaya Mantra [Blessed By Ganesha]

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[belindasnyder97]

How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back Quora Eye-Opening Useful Tips

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Ex Came Back After 3 Months

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How To Get Your Ex Back If He Has A Girlfriend

[josephkitchen0]

Old Adages From Our Homestead Heritage

Have you ever wondered about the meanings of the old adages from our homestead heritage? Have you ever said, “I wonder where that saying comes from?” I know I have wondered this many times. I thought it would be fun to delve into some of the ones I learned from my grandparents and great-grandparents as part of my homestead heritage.

Self-sufficient farm living was once a way of life for most everyone. Homesteading today seems more like a movement than just a way of life, but that doesn’t change the reality of what it is; providing as much for your family as possible wherever you may find yourself able to farm and leave a homestead heritage.

Would it surprise you to learn how far back some of these go? Some of them go back over 300 years! At least that’s as far back as my research could trace them. Some of them are obvious, others aren’t. Let’s have some fun!

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Your fences need to be horse high and pig tight ~

It was a bad reflection on a farmer to have his livestock escape his farm and cause harm to another person’s property. Generally, it was assumed he didn’t maintain his fences or animals. So the idea was to keep fences high enough horses couldn’t jump them and tight enough pigs couldn’t push their way through. Oddly enough this saying is said to come from a time of homestead heritage when waddle fences were the norm for livestock.

Shake the hand before you plow the field ~

Make sure you have compensation agreed upon and paid, if possible, before you do the work.

Leave a sleeping dog lie ~

If an enemy or a bad situation isn’t stirred up toward you, let it or them alone. Why cause trouble for yourself when it isn’t on your heels.

Life is simpler when you plow around the stump ~

This one was a little deeper for me than many of these. The general meaning is to recognize there are some things in life which just are. Instead of getting hung up on something you can’t do anything about, just get on with life. In the future, you may grow in knowledge and experience and be able to do something about it. If not, it’s often better to just move on.

Don’t do a rain dance if you don’t see clouds ~

Be sure about what you say and do. I used to tell my boys something similar when they were growing up, “Say what you mean and mean what you say. No guessing.”

A man of straw needs a woman of gold ~

In a time when most people were farmers, it was known straw is the left over product once the seed has been removed from wheat or oats. People used it for making hats, animal bedding, and as part of making bricks of a sort, as well as many other things. Straw was the lesser part of the crop. So a lesser man needs a woman who is strong and of value to help make the farm and his life work.

A stitch in time saves nine~

If you see something which needs repair, fix it as soon as you see it. Don’t let it go until the damage is worse or it can’t be repaired at all. Some people say this comes from sailing vessels. It was important to stitch the smallest tear every time one was found. Others say it comes from tailor shops in old England.

If you’re late with one chore, you’ll be late in a lot more ~

My Papa, who played the largest role in my homestead heritage, said a similar thing when I was growing up. He hated being late for anything. I’ve learned if I let the chickens out late, then I’m late getting to the barn, which means I’m late milking, which means I’m late…. In homesteading, whether you’re doing DIY fence installation or planting crops, there’s always the unforeseen thing that happens. It’s part of the way of life for homesteaders, but if we start the day on time, we’ll find it easier to adjust the rest of our day to those unplanned happenings.

Never look a gift horse in the mouth ~

I was surprised to learn this meant to not accept a gift without questioning. I always thought it meant be thankful no matter where it comes from. Originally, it was understood to mean to question why someone was giving you something without reason. The reason was based on the idea they would return at some later time asking for a favor or something else which you wouldn’t want to do. Since you received a gift from them, they would expect you to feel obligated.

Above all else, farming is a life of hope ~

I can wholeheartedly agree with this statement. Crops fail, but we plant again in hope. Animals die, but we breed or purchase again in hope. Fences break down, but we repair in hope. On and on we could go with all that could and often does go wrong on a homestead, yet we go on…in hope because it’s an intricate part of any homestead heritage.

A tottering fence without, means trouble in the house ~

If your fences are falling down, then there’s surely something wrong with the whole home. It may be sickness or even laziness. This was originally said to indicate marital trouble; a man who doesn’t love his wife or home will not take care of things.

Make hay while the sun shines ~

This is an obvious one I’m sure, but it’s such a part of the farming life. It’s very akin to the famous John Wayne saying, “You’re burin’ daylight,” which is one of my personal favorites. It goes back to the old days in England. It was a literal saying. Anyone who puts up their own hay knows you can only cut, rack, stack, and bail hay when it’s sunny and the hay is dry. If it’s going to rain, farmers rush to get the job done before the hay gets wet while lying on the ground after cutting.

Don’t count your chickens before they hatch ~

One of Ma Ingalls’ favorite sayings. Funny how I can mention her name and we all know who she is. She could never have imagined that. Anyway, this saying is known to us all, isn’t it. Don’t count a thing as so until it is done. What a life lesson. When learned, it will save us much heartache.

The more you stir, the more it stinks ~

Goes along with, “Less said, sooner mended,” another of Ma Ingalls’ favorite sayings. If you mess with a situation that’s none of your business or even a situation in your life which would be better left alone, you’ll cause yourself and others more harm. You can make a situation worse by keeping it going or messing with it.

A month of Sundays ~

In the old days, Sunday seemed to drag on forever. There were so many religious rules about what could and could not be done on Sundays, they must have seemed to long. So of course it means a long, slow period of time.

By hook or by crook ~

It’s believed this saying comes from a Medieval law which said peasants could use branches of any tree for firewood if they could reach them using a shepherd’s crook or a billhook. Between these two tools they could get wood for heating and cooking. It has come to mean one way or another a thing will be done.

Nothing falls into the mouth of a sleeping fox ~

This saying goes back to the days of fox hunting. Fox are sneaky creatures and have to work for their food. The counterpart to this saying is, “The sleeping fox will catch no chicken.” Simply meaning, a person has to work to provide for his basic needs and those of his family. Many could take a lesson from this today.

Don’t let the cat out of the bag ~

To us it means keep a secret. The original saying came from a time when piglets were sold in open market. The sellers would put the piglets into burlap bags and tie them up to keep them from running away and have them ready for the purchaser. Crooked sellers would put large cats in the bags instead of piglets. If the buyer didn’t check the bag, he was just out of luck. He couldn’t prove he didn’t swap them out once he left the market. If he was shrewd and opened the bag, the cat would leap out, letting the cat out of the bag.

Don’t put all your eggs in one basket ~

Diversify. This could apply to many areas of life from investments to skills. Learn all you can, love all you can, don’t limit your mind or imagination to just one thing.

Which of these have you heard or actually use? Can you share an old adage and it’s meaning or origin of with us from your homestead heritage?

Safe and Happy Journey, Rhonda and The Pack

Old Adages From Our Homestead Heritage was originally posted by All About Chickens

[prideguynews]

The ‘gay small movie Oscars’, the Iris Prize, is occurring in Cardiff, Wales as I article this. The 6-working day celebration of LGBT+ movie is centred about its justly prestigious Iris Global Prize. This is the most valuable LGBT small movie prize in the planet, worth £30,000, which lets the recipient to make another small. The initial of the 35 films in opposition have now screened, and after additional it is an eclectic and interesting bunch, covering a variety of themes about sexuality, gender and additional.

This 12 months the screenings of the shorts have been brought together into thematic groups, so choose a glimpse below to see our feelings on the Iris Prize Global Shorts from Day 1 of the fest.

Wild Beasts (Villdyr)

With Close friends Like These

The initial screening brought together a selection of films centring on strategies of friendship, having in the two the positive and the adverse.

Wild Beasts (Villdyr) Director: Sverre Kamme In the snowy isolation of rural Scandinavia, a group of young teens are hanging out, figuring out their lives and making an attempt to find anything to do. However, one particular of the boys may well have sensation for his male good friend that he does not very totally recognize and is not guaranteed how to convey. Wild Beasts is an intriguing and properly shot movie that manages to capture the uncertainties and damaging impulses of adolescence, wherever young people today usually glimpse for a sensation of management in the improper areas. However, when properly observed, the movie could have carried out with digging a small deeper into what is genuinely likely on amongst these people today. That stated, it certainly does not outstay its welcome and has a couple of emotionally resonant times. 3.five out of five

Pink Tablet Director: Xiaoshan Xie China has a odd and challenging to get the job done out mind-set to gay content. In latest several years some Chinese films have been banned or cut prior to release in their homeland to get rid of LGBT-themed scenes, when other people have been authorized out unscathed. Equally, there have been gay-themed films that Chinese authorities have permitted to be screened at worldwide festivals but not at household, when conversely some films (and filmmakers) have been pulled from overseas competition line-ups. I say this not for the reason that it took place to Pink Tablet, but for the reason that I believe it claims anything about the context of how anything like this movie can get designed and the planet it comes from.

In it, a teenage girl’s lifestyle is upended when a homophobic classmate publicly reveals a website page from her diary, which demonstrates she has sensation for another female. Just one of her male classmates still demonstrates curiosity in her, and he may well be inclined to go to serious lengths to make her ‘normal’. Inspired by accurate occasions, Pink Tablet is a provocative and complex movie, wherever its doable to examine items in various methods that give a distinct spin to occasions. For illustration, you could see the primary boy in the movie as wrestling with his individual sexuality, or just as a peaceful but decidedly straight young gentleman. In truth, distinct viewers at the Iris screening took it distinct methods. It guarantees that even when it goes to some darkish areas it hardly ever feels gratuitous. 4 out of five

Three Centimetres Director: Lara Zaeidan Final 12 months a one particular-shot movie won the primary Iris Prize. Three Centimetre is also just a one shot but usually takes on distinct issue make a difference and a distinct, possibly unforeseen, venue. The entire thing usually takes position in the gondola of a ferris wheel in a decaying enjoyment park in Beirut. Four young feminine pals go for a experience, with one particular specifically loud, mouthy female dominating the conversation with discuss about how you do not shed your virginity if its only in three centimetres. When the conversation turns to acquiring about an ex by wondering of them being gay, it results in one particular of the women, Marwan, to appear out. This revelation will get an array of reactions, from worry to anger to dismissal.

Smartly designed, the one particular-shot mother nature of the small movie could have appear throughout as an affectation, but immediately turns into integral to the small and significantly less distracting than it could have been. The Lebanese placing also provides to the movie, so that as a western viewer it troubles perceptions of the middle-east and also make you mirror on the similarities and variation amongst reactions to somebody coming out in distinct nations. 3.five out of five

Don’t Connect with Me Bro (Nenn Mich Nicht Bruder) Director: Gina Wenzel A feminine soccer workforce is baffled when a boy demonstrates up for exercise, right until Cheyenne discovers that new boy Dany is actually transgender. Dany commences to befriend some of the male soccer players, including Cheyenne’s boyfriend, Josh, and he hopes that Cheyenne will maintain his key. Though he immediately starts to find acceptance in this ragtag, chaotic and relatively violent crew, a sense of threat hangs in the air due to what the other boys do not know, and the electric power Cheyenne has about that. This German small productively results in a sense of menace that grows as it goes on.

Some may well choose problem with regardless of whether it is rather stereotyping young ‘chavs’, or certainly regardless of whether its stunning and relatively disturbing times border on exploitative, but it certainly has an impact. It also does a very good work of looking at the reckless and damaging impulses of youth, and the threat of electric power imbalances among all those who do not recognize duty. 3.five out of five

Calamity

Gender & Relatives

The next screening focussed on gender difficulties and films featuring transgender characters, and additional specifically their connection with loved ones.

There You Are Director: Lisa Donato Jessica requires to go household to see her dying grandmother. However, when she is now residing as a trans female, her loved ones have generally acknowledged her as Jason. In buy to check out to mix in in the course of this challenging situation, Jessica attempts to determine out how to go for a boy once more. When she will get household her mother is as challenging as generally, but other people may well have unforeseen reactions. Penned by and starring trans actress Jen Richards, I observed There You Are most interesting for causes that genuinely should not be interesting at all. In the movie the way the emotional character beats and shifts get the job done is carried out in a rather mainstream design, to the issue wherever the most cynical viewer could see it as a small sentimental. However, it is still very rare to see this carried out with trans stories, which tend to be dominated by arthouse outlooks and a focus on the adverse sides of the trans encounter. There You Are demonstrates that possibly just as important are the stories that show a small additional hope, not the very least that in contexts like this it will help underline that trans people today are part of ‘us’ and not just a ‘them’. 4 out of five

Profane Cow (Vaca Profana) Director: Rene Guerra This is one particular of all those films that I can imagine leading to massive arguments amongst viewers who could glimpse at it in radically distinct methods. Nadia is a trans female who’s been mainly acknowledged by her neighborhood in a weak part of Brazil. Just one of her pals has a modest baby she wants to adopt out, so Nadia agrees to choose the baby, satisfying her prolonged held dream of motherhood. However, items get sophisticated when the birth mother has next feelings. It’s certainly an intriguing and at instances provocative movie, when delves into the concept that the longing for motherhood significantly transcends the actual physical means to have a baby, as nicely as the point that the actual physical means by itself does not make you a very good mother. However, the way it does it is perhaps problematic.

Although I do not believe it is making an attempt to propose that trans people today are in essence doing the role of somebody who’s a distinct gender than the one particular they ended up assigned at birth or that they are ‘weirdoes’, but the movie does perform into all those stereotypes at instances, not the very least when Nadia decides to wear a pretend baby stomach. This and a couple of other difficulties signify that when the film’s surface area is trans-positive, beneath it could be viewed as significantly additional problematic. 2.five out of five

Calamity Administrators: Severine be Streyker, Maxime Feyers Middle-aged couple France and Lucien return from a crack to unexpectedly find their son Romain and his new girlfriend Cleo in their household. France insists they stay for evening meal, as she wants to fulfill her son’s new appreciate curiosity. What none of Romain’s loved ones know while, and what he hadn’t wished to convey to them nonetheless, is that Cleo is a trans female in the early times of her ‘treatment’. When they realise this the loved ones does not know what to do, as it is a situation none of them has at any time even contemplated.

Calamity is a small which is shut to outstanding. The decision to focus on the mother and to flesh her character out so that we know she is not happy and stuck in an unfulfilling standing quo guarantees the movie avoids the melodramatic. Equally, the short’s humour will help to carry the viewer into the characters’ encounter. It also properly contrasts the appreciate and contentment of the young lovers with the emotional desert of the moms and dads, so that France’s desire for items to go back again to ordinary is not just about transphobia but also about validating the staid selections she’s designed in her lifestyle. However, there are a few far too many times wherever Calamity can’t very stability its loved ones tale with its self-consciously filmic times and an unevenness in its technique to a heightened fact. Although its still a very good movie, I did experience that it could have been additional. 3.five out of five

Michael Joseph Jason Scott

Masculinity

The closing screening of Iris Prize Shorts on Day 1 of the competition focused on difficulties surrounding masculinity.

Crashing Waves Director: Emma Gilbertson A extremely small small, Crashing Waves right away stands out for the reason that most of it is expressed via dance. Two young gentlemen (who, for want of a superior term would be classed by some as ‘chavs’) fulfill just outdoors some substantial-increase tower blocks on an internal-city housing estate. The tensions and doable connections amongst them appear out via dance, which in the beginning looks like it may well explode into violence or as a substitute could erupt into enthusiasm. But even when dancing the gentlemen simply cannot escape the planet they stay in. The movie is only four-minutes prolonged, but it lingers in your thoughts partly for the reason that it is so unforeseen and partly for the reason that it is extremely nicely carried out. Dance is usually filmed terribly on display, but Crashing Waves realises that the digicam is also a dancer and not just a window/lens. As a final result, it pulls the viewer into this sensual pas de deux. 3.five out of five

The War Place Director: Ben Hantkant Each 12 months at Iris there is at the very least one particular movie that absolutely flummoxes me and I experience like almost everything about it has flown about my head. The War Place is one particular of all those videos. I’m not even one hundred% guaranteed I can properly explain what it is about, but it sees a young gentleman dealing with lifestyle in the Israeli Army and the pressures and strategies of masculinity and bravado it areas on conscripts, especially if that form of machismo does not mirror who they are inside of. However, the entire thing usually takes areas in a form of darkish, dreamlike fantasy of projections and online video installations, as nicely as toy army gentlemen and efficiency art.

It’s the form of movie that will speak to some and get their brains performing, when other people will be still left absolutely cold. However for me it is the latter. I also speculate regardless of whether Israeli navy company is one particular of all those items which is challenging for outsiders to properly recognize with no having lived in the region and being familiar with the cultural and societal context of nationwide company. As this is a movie about it that is so open up and experimental, it leaves few openings to let outsider to properly get inside of. Although possibly I just want to enjoy it a few additional instances. 1.five out of five

Michael Joseph Jason Scott A gentleman hooks up with a guy on the web and invitations him round to his New York condominium. The visitor looks keen to maintain items nameless and get to the bedroom ideal absent. However, every single gentleman may well have distinct strategies about what they want to get from the fulfill, with one particular wondering about their long term and another considering anything significantly darker. Michael Joseph Jason Scott (titled immediately after the names one particular of the gentlemen guesses could be the other’s) is a additional clear-cut and easier enjoy than many of the other Iris Prize shorts.

That is not to say it is straightforward while, just that it is additional very easily accessible. Quite a few viewers customers will be capable to relate to problems about who you are inviting into your household, as nicely as the hope and feeling of prospects when you believe you have designed a connection with somebody. Although there are a couple of times, specifically in direction of the end, that could have benefitted from a small additional subtlety, it is still an pleasing enjoy. 3 out of five

Wren Boys I’ve viewed Wren Boys a couple of instances now and each individual time I genuinely want to like it. This is, immediately after all, a movie that acquired a Greatest Brief Film BAFTA nomination and a British Independent Film Awards Greatest British Brief nomination, as nicely as screening at the likes of Sundance, the BFI London Film Pageant and SXSX. However, every single time I’ve viewed it, it is felt to me unfinished and a small far too delighted with alone, and which is not for the reason that of its open up ending. I can recognize why many do like it while, as the concept at the rear of it and how it attempts to unpack that are attention-grabbing. The basic set up is that it is Boxing Day, and an Irish priest in County Cork is driving his nephew to jail to see one particular of the inmates. I won’t say a lot additional as part of the way the movie works is a gradual unravelling of the assumptions the viewer can make about who these people today are, as nicely what other characters are wondering and assuming about them. It also attempts to offer with a region trapped amongst an previous, rigid, Catholic, dogmatic way of being, and a new, enlightened region that has gay marriage (and certainly now has a gay chief). Even so, for me it works superior in concept than exercise, especially as a couple of its ‘twists’ experience like relatively hassle-free sleight of hand. 2 out of five

Something About Alex (Anders) Director: Reinout Hellenthal Something About Alex is a challenging one particular to discuss about just for the reason that the primary thing any viewer is likely to want to talk about about it is also a main spoiler. Alex has developed up on a farm but is upset when he discovers his sister and her boyfriend are transferring absent to the city. Realising that almost everything will improve, Alex finds it increasingly challenging to cover his accurate feelings. The movie works nicely just as what in the beginning seems like it could be a coming out tale, but in direction of the end it turns items on its head with a main twist, so that when we’ve been viewing the ‘truth’ it may well not be as other people perspective it.

Something About Alex is based about what is actually a rather straightforward concept, but it is a challenging one particular to pull off. It is while a extremely intelligent way to appear at the difficulties it is dealing with from a distinct angle, in methods that may well be easier for the viewers to empathise with than additional normal methods of accomplishing it. Even superior is that it is carried out in an very easily accessible and nicely put together way, assisted by a very good efficiency from the young direct. For me it was the greatest movie of Day 1 of Iris. 4.five out of five

Reviewer: Tim Isaac

Connected

The post Iris Prize Festival LGBT+ International Short Films 2018 – Part 1 (Short Film Reviews) appeared first on PrideGuy - Gay News, LGBT News, Politics & Entertainment.

[phantomyamamoto]

Bowling Team of the Messiah, a true religion story.

I've been a religious man in my own take. I chose not to go to church because of the enticing task of having to go to church. Seeing people's similar views, dress sizes, suit ties, formal socks, yellow teeth from years of coffee consumption- in term, I never understood the point. Why go to the big expensive televisions on display in a department store when you could get the same garbage from CNN at home? That kind of event should only be for the binge drinkers and cough syrup enthusiasts, a place for rest. It made no sense to me to have a middle man when it came to worship. The swine of my age group are already too far gone enjoying themselves too much to look up and appreciate this god character. Allowing themselves to appreciate the here and now. Drinking, drugs, vanity, all addictions incurable by he who is holy in Hollywood. Not now, we have events to go to, people to see. So what was the point of Christianity nowadays when the rest of the world has silently said it to be "old news" and put to the side? Did we all quit the Jesus Christ team to find that there was a world out there full of people like us? To mingle with when we didn't need anymore guilt? Maybe that was gods way of telling me to get out more. I sure hope not. A Terrible way to communicate.

In my run-ins of the Christian religion, I found it to be a series of stories brought forth by the unbelievable uncontrollable power of belief for the center of god country. However, By the blind mans hand, it was a psychedelic trip into lands of believing in power hungry ghosts before thee wipes us out in the worst way possible if we don't hurry. Election Day for two thousand years. Time and time again I find myself discussing this religion with almost everyone I meet.

"Do you believe in the good news?", "do you believe in god", "do you think Jesus smoked grass?" (Yet Almost everyone says yes). What I firmly believe, is that religion (as an industry) is a big deal, with even worst dealers-Invisible products brought to you by the Jesus Christ & Co. however one may spin it, the Christian religion is a mere sober clubhouse for those who desperately need a bit of good thoughts and/or prayer. Just good people gathered together, that's on the surface of course. On paper. Without thinking about it. Without challenge. Until you delve deeper. It's a confusing warp of pace and speeds that not everyone can handle. Certainly not me. Not ever. Too much guilt in life to live, too little thought to move. Most people read the king James holy bible and believe the words it spews about. It only broadens the fact that the double barrel Winston shotgun was not the most accurate weapon of The commandments but, more or less, with the most spread. Only vagueness gets to these people. For good reason. To choose their own fate in the desolation row of the dry desert of life. Adam and Eve were challenged by the serpent to eat from the tree of knowledge for infinite know-how of time, space, war, belief, grief, love, sorrow, and enjoyment. Everything. The serpent wasn't in control of their decision however, I found out that humanity was doomed from the start. Choosing their own fate in risk of knowing everything to everyone. By their curiosity and need of wanting to know more about This green earth in all it's glory, God had no time for competition. In hindsight, curiosity killed the kitty.

I had met a good priest in my home neighborhood of Hillyard, washington for a glass or maybe bottle of water. Whatever Jesus would've done. Somehow I was interested in this oddly shaped building connected to a series bright red bricks that I assumed was "the school". Slightly horrified, I pressed on.

"I had never been in a church before" I said. "Really? What made you decide to come in on such a wonderful day?" He replied. It dawned on me like crisp sunsets over the Mountain top, What was I doing? Was I actually lying to myself in telling the man that I was parched from walking only a few blocks? It was puzzling. I wanted to eat whatever story, he wanted to give me. Get a glimpse in what'll soon to be my choice. But what for? Why now? A Tuesday? Shit.

"Just thought I drop by and see what all the hubbub was about" I said in a tone. He gave me the grand ole tour of this world I had stepped into with innocence. He told about when these people flocked in by the hundreds of healthy thinking preaching folk. However, I felt caged, looking at the bars of a cell. Finding all sorts of years this shining hoopla had lasted. In hillyard, it was that of a calming area without the puke stains and guilt. More than a park bench or bar, much less of a rehab.

I notice in the middle of the satin stage lays a big open book, understanding where I was, it was chopped full of sermons that he tells to hopeful folks of that fraction of the lilac town. "Geez, that sure it a big book" I tell him abruptly. "You come onto this stage, and share your word of god huh? Every Sunday right?" "Oh Yes Sunday and Wednesday when the school, just over yander, starts their bible study in the fall" he tells me. That was when I noticed the many of folders duct taped to the holy walls with titles reading such places as; BANGKOK, SINGAPORE, HONG KONG, INDIA, SOUTH AFRICA.

"we have had the pleasure of being connected with many different groups all around the world spreading the formidable message of god and Jesus Christ. As well as humanitarian work in places like berma, china, Laos, etc. establishing little groups of prayer in troubling of places" he informs me. With a touch of pride behind his face, I felt that he was doing it for something more than just religion. It was hard to believe I was in a church and not some house of meeting for dreadlocks and servants of UNICEF on a mission. The South America folder was empty while the rest has two the three papers stuffed inside.

"You guys seem pretty busy huh? Does that say Bangkok? Damn. That's a long ways away" I say as he nods his head in correction. "Every so often we take that big white RV, ya know?, in the front of the building. We take that RV and preach to many different churches here in town and those around the world" he tells me.

"Ya know Nick, I believe something has brought us together today and if I could have just ten minutes of your time, I want to show you something called 'The Gospel'" he exclaimed. I stood there for a moment thinking everything over, as if there was a commando soldier in the wake of an invasion. Alright son, you're ready to be deployed into battle. It's your mission to listen. if you choose to accept it. 'Buy the ticket, take the ride' a wise man once told me.

"Sure. I think I got time" in my reply. We tread away from the Fight-Club-initiation style informative folders that aligned the wall, to one of the offices. If I didn't know any better, this bastard got himself the biggest office in the whole damn building. "Ohh what a treat" I thought to myself inching closer to the holy doorway. Our time didn't last 10 minutes... but more like 45 minutes all together. With different books he showed me, written in a style that had to make sense of all the gibberish Adam and Eve has pulled off during their time. He spoke about the garden of eden, covered in all the trinkets of food and fruit for such people of earth to survive giving them strong direction of steering clear of knowing everything. I questioned him in his mission of aiding me in my quest for nothing.

"What about in the Bible... it says that we can have slaves? That doesn't seem like it'd be the best bet in gaining trust of his people" I asked. "Ahh... I get it. In the Bible it meant that it's okay to have a BOND slave." "What's that?" I asked in rebuttal. "A bond slave is when, let's say I owe you $30 of cold hard cash, what a bond slave is, is that I can give, in return, is my son in order to pay off that $30. And That's what a bond slave is." An interesting aspect I guess. We continue on. "God isn't that pressed on wether you believe in him or not, i love my wife, but if I chained my wife up to the bed. And left her there. Then She doesn't love me, she's there tied, forced. God isn't like that." "That's pretty kinky" I told him. "While it may be kinky, it's the truth. God only wants your love and your kindness, with pure freedom to do what you will. All within what god wants you to do."

"Ya know, That sounds like a lot. And Jesus taking the fall for humanity, knowing he'd reoccur at any moment. Why do it at all honestly?" I said to him. "Well see nick, Jesus had a certain commitment. He wanted the best for us. So we must put our belief in him, and thank him, for his surrender and his sacrifice" he tells me.

Frankly, I don't remember even getting my bottled water.

"Maybe it was simply Adams fault for eating the apple and putting us in this mess" I said to this off-the-clock priest.

"That may be so. That may be so." With a chuckle following. For a second I had believed it all, as if it was only an incentive to point out the fact that our curiosity killed humanity and simply that belief is all god needed for us to avoid another mass casualty of the human species leading up the demise of Jesus Christ, the messenger of gods word. I thanked the man as I left for sharing his strong story.

"I enjoy teaching people like you. Teaching of the young people is all the reason why I'm around. It's all the more wonderful" he said as he aided me to the big glass door to the outside world. I felt guilty not being totally sure of how I'd play this game of belief. That was the product he tried to sell me. Like a towel to wipe away all forms of sin if I simply gave my life to avoid guilt of not accepting this fantastic once in a lifetime offer. Three easy payments of service for the lord almighty.

I walked away from the palace in shock and awe that The sheer numbers of men and women were that of good faith from the Christian religion. Only Wanting the best for mankind. it's a certain pitch that can only result in a strike against those who don't want to play. The sinner who believes that the winning move doesn't always mean playing the same game. It's when those blessed with their addition to the bowling team that can be used as players on the fight to the championship of heaven. Bowling teams are a lot like the different religions on this planet all playing for the next lane in a new world after they retire from life itself. It's when those teams become tied to violence, misogyny, sexism, and misuse of their shoes is why I put away my bowling shirt away and went home for the evening. Bowling is fun but, bowling can wait.

I recorded the event on my iPhone that day, upon exiting I remember telling the priest about my decision to secretly record it. After all it was a church. I disguised it by saying, "me and my friends run an internet podcast over at the Spokane falls community college and i do surely believe it'll be a good talking point for me and my colleagues". Hesitant, he tells me "Oh... well... okay... just as long as you make truth of your knowledge. And don't make fun. Or push prejudice on me or the church. We get a lot of that around here these days" he said. "Of course sir. You opened my eyes to your mission, it's much appreciated. Gods been good. You'd be a great salesman someday" Then I let the doors close behind me.