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justinewt · 1 year ago

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For the Greater Good - TMR REWRITE Chapter Ten

[TMR REWRITE-MASTERLIST]

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Summary: After Teresa called WICKED on them when the group had just reached the Right Arm that same day, Minho and Grace were both abducted by the organization while their friends barely made it out. Thomas had to watch his sister and one of his closest friend get dragged onboard of the helicarrier, unable to do anything to help them. For 6 months, they were locked up in a facility and experimented on until Thomas, Newt and a back-from-the-dead Gally came to their rescue.

Words: 7.3k

Warnings: TMR Death cure spoilers, angst, mental torture, medical experiments, needles, restraints, violence

Grace tilted her head back and she stared at the overhead lights with a heavy sigh. Her muscles felt so sore. She pulled at her wrists in frustration, but she was handcuffed to a chair, in a small room with a table and another chair facing each other like the one where Janson had briefly questioned Grace and Thomas back when they got to the facility, except this room was bright and white. Her heart ached as she remembered her brother struggling against Jorge, trying to get to her and Minho to save them, calling out their names, yelling at the top of his lungs. She feared what they were going to do to her and Minho here. It had only been a day since they were taken from the Right Arm camp, which went up in flames after WICKED came. All because of Teresa. Grace heard the handle move and the door open. A guard held out the door to no other than Teresa. She dared to greet Grace with a friendly smile. She was met by a death stare.

“How are you feeling?” She sat in front of Thomas’ sister as the door was closed behind her. Grace stared at her without saying anything. Teresa sighed softly, joining her hand on the table. She was trying so hard to come off as welcoming and agreeable, but Grace would never let her forget what she did to all of them by betraying them. “If your muscles are still hurting a little, it’s normal. It should be gone in a couple days.”

“Yeah, I doubt that.” Grace finally spoke, though her words were referring instead to the knife she had stuck in their backs. She was bitter and resented Teresa. Straightening up, she asked, “Where’s Minho?”

“He is being checked by a doctor. Just like you were, when you were still passed out.”

“I want to see him.”

“I’m sorry, Grace. I don’t think Janson and Chancellor Paige will allow that.”

“Do you like that? Huh? Being WICKED’s dog?” Grace asked. She didn’t have to raise her voice very much to let her anger show. Teresa looked at her like she was sad to see her react like this, as if it was surprising after what happened.

“Look, Grace, I came here to tell you something. I’m sorry it had to happen this way, really, but… we need you to help us.”

“You need my blood, not me. Why are you even here acting like you’re trying to bargain with me? Why do you act like you care?”

“This could all be so much easier if you agree to help us.” As she was talking, the door opened, and Janson walked in. He sized up Grace and stood by the table, hands behind his back.

“She’s right. This could all be so much easier if you just agree to help us. Because you know, that if you’re being too difficult… we will take what we want from you anyhow.” He threatened her with this annoyance in his eyes contradicting the smile on his face. “We have much to do right now. We’ll deal with her later, take her to her room.”

He waved nonchalantly at Grace, and she was grabbed by two soldiers who entered as he left. They grabbed her by the arms and not giving her time to get support on her feet, she was dragged out of the room and brought down the corridors. They passed many people in white coats and continued without stopping until they reached a door. At eye level along the wall was a window that looked out into the room within. It was a small room with a single bed with white sheets and blankets and a small light wooden table against the wall, with a chair. A guard slipped a card in a slot provided for this purpose, next to the door and a beep signalled the opening of the latter. She was pushed inside. They left her in handcuffs, and she turned back to the door, which beeped again as it locked. She also realized that the window was obscured from inside the room. They could see her, but she was cut off from what was going on in the halls. She sat on the bed and let her head fall on the pillow. She had no idea what Teresa wanted to tell her. Janson had cut their conversation short after probably being too annoyed by Grace’s behaviour. She was way too angry to comply and be obedient anyway.

As the days passed, Grace felt more and more on edge. She was locked in a room in which we could observe her without her knowledge and the lights were never turned off, which made her have a lot of trouble sleeping. She wasn't doing anything the whole day and the time seemed excruciatingly long. She thought that maybe they were trying to wear her out and push her to the edge so she would be too exhausted to fight back, or maybe they were just preparing the next tortures she would be subjected to. The only time she had some interactions was when she was brought food, and even then, the guards weren’t the most talkative, or when she was taken to get some blood drawn. It was really bugging her how they were just leaving her alone. She knew something was coming, and she also knew that she wouldn’t like it, whatever it would be. After a couple weeks, she was visited again by Teresa, directly in her room this time. The door buzzed loudly, and she sat up on her bed. The woman walked in, followed by an armed soldier.

“How are you feeling?” She asked, pulling the chair away from the table and sitting down.

“Are you going to ask me that every time you talk to me?”

“I’m just being mindful. You might believe me, but I care about your wellbeing, and Minho’s.” Her voice was soft, but it wasn’t fooling Grace. “I really need to have this talk with you, and I would prefer to do it myself. Janson won’t be as patient.”

“Oh, you’re so kind.” Grace rolled her eyes, pulling at the handcuffs, looking away from Teresa.

“We have been running tests on the blood samples we collected from you, Minho, and the others. You must have notified we weren’t taking you out of your room very often. We compared—”

“Get to the fucking point already.” Grace cut her off, sighing.

“We discovered something in your blood. The enzyme your brain produces is 110 percent more efficient against the flare.” She sounded excited and happy about what she was telling her, but it was all gibberish to her ears. “Not only do your body fights off the flare, but it also controls it. It’s as if it was assimilating to your system, rendering it harmless to you. You’re more immune than anyone else we’ve seen. Even more than Thomas.”

Grace instantly looked back at Teresa when she mentioned her brother. What she was saying was somehow not very surprising. This was a theory she had ever since she saw them draw so much blood from her at the facility in the desert. And now, she had the confirmation that there was something more about her and her blood, something that was very interesting and precious to WICKED. They probably already knew about it but needed a lot of her blood to run a few more tests and be sure. In any case, they took their time doing it.

“So? What now?” Grace enquired, holding her hands tightly to keep from fidgeting with her fingers.

“We are on the right track to synthesize a cure, thanks to you, Grace.” The latter glanced at Teresa. She would never get out of here if she was their golden ticket to a cure. They would never let her go and it made her grow anxious. So anxious about what they would do to her to get it that she was petrified. “We still need to conduct a few tests, and we need to find someone to try it on but we’re positive we can do it.”

“And why are you telling me this? They don’t need my permission to make me their lab rat.” Grace spat through her gritted teeth.

“I don’t want them to hurt you, that is why.” This made her let out a chuckle. She didn’t believe her anymore. She didn’t believe she actually cared, because she jeopardized the safety of everyone to get here and to get to this. Grace surprised herself when she spoke.

“I’ll agree to help you.” She turned her head to Teresa. “But I have a couple conditions.”

“Tell me.”

“I want them to conduct tests and shit, only on me. Not on Minho, or the others. I won’t fight back… if they leave him alone. Torture me not him.”

“You won’t be tortured, Grace—”

“Don’t bullshit me, please. Just go tell them and get on with it.” She looked away, gulping quietly. Teresa said she would go talk to Paige and see what she could do, promising her to do her best but she didn’t care about her worthless promises. She didn’t meet Teresa’s gaze again when she left and had a gloomy face, staring into space, as if she had signed her death certificate. To ensure Minho’s wouldn’t be tortured by WICKED, she had negotiated that everything be done to her, without having the slightest idea of how far their experiments would go and that thought alone made her feel sick to her stomach. She knew that if Minho was here, he would have never let her do this, but he wasn’t, and she didn’t want them to hurt him for the sake of science when they already had what they needed to make a cure with her. If she could ensure he would be safe, she was ready to do anything, even if it led to her death, though she prayed it wouldn’t come to that. She wanted to see her brother again. She wanted to Newt and all her friends again. She wanted to see Sonya again and get to know her, which she would never be able to do if she died at the hands of WICKED. It took until the next day for Teresa to come back. She talked to Chancellor Paige, and she had agreed to leave Minho out of this, the only condition was for Grace to never be difficult and agree to every test they would need to do. She agreed and knew it was going to be a long way to hell.

Her bare feet sinking into the snow, Grace walked on without really knowing where to go. Strangely, she didn't feel the cold, despite the fact that she wasn't wearing shoes or a jacket. Her clothes were thin, but she didn't seem to mind the temperature, which was probably in the negatives given the snow that was falling nonstop. She saw a forest straight ahead. There was nothing else on the horizon, so she headed there with a quiet step. As she approached the edge of the forest, she heard someone calling her, which caused her to go deeper into the woods, so that soon she found herself in the shade of the trees and of their tall, thick foliage. She walked blindly, following the voice that echoed around her. She only realized after getting too far into the forest that the snow had disappeared around her. She stepped on a branch that creaked under her foot. Suddenly, everything became silent, and the atmosphere changed drastically. The air became heavy and thick, and she found it harder and harder to breathe. Gasping for air, she held her hands to her throat and collapsed.

She was choking and there was nothing she could do. She closed her eyes for a second and as she tried to take deep breaths, she felt water seep through her nose and mouth and found herself banging furiously against a glass wall. This time, she felt the coldness in the water she was immersed in, right down to her bones. She wanted to hold her breath but the water she had already breathed made her cough and take deeper breaths. His vision was blurring. She no longer had the strength to hit the glass in front of her and her body shook with a brutal spasm, then another and she felt like falling into an abyssal void. Everything was dark around her. She let go and opened her eyes when she heard the heartbreaking cry of a Griever. Without thinking she took a deep breath and felt air fill her lungs, but the relief was short lived. She got up and quickly realized that she was in the labyrinth, in the middle of the night. She didn't even try to understand the meaning of everything that was happening, as if it seemed normal. There was a second screech that echoed through the corridors of the maze, and she began to run at full speed, not even knowing if she was getting closer to the monster or if she was moving away from it. She didn't care about being barefoot, she just ran breathlessly, terrified of coming face to face with one of her half-machines, half-organic creatures.

Taking a turn, she slipped and fell heavily to the ground. She felt her body go to the side and she slid into a wide gap between the platform and the wall. She screamed at the top of her lungs and fell silent when she realized that she was glued to the stone wall. She felt like her whole body was trembling from the inside. Her breath was shaky as well and she heard the metallic clinging of the Griever climbing up the wall. The creature covered her body and she found herself only inches from his head. He opened his mouth, letting out a squealing scream, bringing up a foul smell from the bowels of the earth. She closed her eyes as hard as she could and turned her head to the side, her face distorted with fear, and screamed. When she opened her eyes again, it took her a few seconds to stop and realize where she was. Her throat hurt like hell, but with a quick look around reminded her that she was not back in the maze. She heard the voice of a scientist rise in the room. She was barely catching her breath, her eyes wide from what she had been put through. After a minute, she was taken out of whatever machine she was in and carried to a bed. Her whole body felt drained of any ounce of energy that she ever had, as if she had turned into a ragdoll. She was strengthless. Her arms hanging loosely along the bed, she stared above her, breathing weakly.

The bed she was moved around on was pushed against a wall. Her vision was still blurry, but she could make out the shapes of several people, busy around her. She felt her arms being lifted and then rested on the sides of the bed. Her eyes moved slowly, and she tried to focus and follow some of the movements. She watched as plastic bags were hooked to IV poles on each side of her bed. One of the pouches contained a liquid that appeared to be translucent and the others a dark red liquid. She guessed the many tubes she could see linked the bags to her body, but she couldn't feel anything. The noises of machines and the words exchanged around her mixed in an incessant buzzing as if she was surrounded by a thousand bees. She saw someone lean over her and place a mask over her face. She took a breath, and her eyes grew heavier and heavier, until they closed completely, and she let herself sink in the dark again.

She did everything they asked of her, and she was still not allowed to see Minho, but Teresa assured he was being taken care of and not tested on. She didn’t trust her, but she had to take her word for it since she couldn’t check for herself. The only thing to do was hoping they were keeping their word. With Grace in their hands, it didn’t take the scientists as long as she thought to try and see if their vaccine actually cured people from the flare. What would take a little more time would be to see how long the cure they made was effective before they got sick again, if they got sick again at all, because there was a world where it did work out perfectly and in which Grace turned out to be the source of the cure for all of humanity. If it was the world they were in, Grace would be condemned to serve as their supply for the creation of this vaccine and would never see the light of the sun ever again. She would be sucked dry by these vampires, but they would act as if they were so grateful of her sacrifice. The sacrifice of a 17-year-old girl who happened to be more immune to the flare than others. To her great misfortune. But if they had gotten Thomas as well, he would be subjected to the exact same treatment and she didn’t want that, though she didn’t want to die for those greedy, selfish people either. While she was plunged into a vegetative state for months at a time, she only dreamed of one thing.

Getting out of there and seeing her brother and friends again.

She wanted to have another chance at life. She wanted to be more than what they saw in her. Maybe, if she could make it out of there alive, she could also see if anything could come out of that spark she felt when meeting Sonya.

Grace wasn’t really being told anything anymore and she couldn’t even get out of bed. She had been transferred to a bigger room where she was strapped to a sort of hospital bed, her arms stretched out to the sides. So many tubes were connected to the crooks of her elbows, the backs of her hands and really, wherever they could stick a needle, they had. She was bedridden and fed through a tube that had been inserted in her skin and into her stomach and an oxygen mask was sometimes slapped on her face to put her to sleep. When she was conscious and awake, she wasn't even fully aware of what was going on around her anyway. She just had this blurry, constant vision of masked people in white coats bustling around her. Usually, it was pretty quiet and when they did speak, she couldn't make out half the words, but she guessed they might be speaking way more when she was asleep, which she was most of the time.

“Can you hear me?” Teresa spoke to her softly, sitting across from her. Grace did hear her. She was physically unable to respond, her whole body feeling numb like she was still feeling the effects of the aesthetics and drugs that they used on her even though she had been brought here for some time already. She couldn’t tell how long it had been since they put her in this room, on this chair with Teresa. Grace looked terrible. She looked exhausted and sick, a dull grayish complexion on her face. It looked like she was asleep with her eyes open, her cuffed hands stretched out in front of her on the table. If there hadn't been a backrest on her chair, she would have collapsed to the floor without a doubt. Even though she couldn’t react very much, she listened to Teresa.

“There’s a little girl here. Her name is Shai Lun. She’d been infected for three weeks but, Grace… you saved her.”

Although her body remained still, her chest heaving at each weak breath she took, Grace looked up tiredly at Teresa. Hearing this, a glimmer of hope passed through her eyes. If what she was saying was true, maybe her sacrifice would have served some purpose, and saved this little girl. Teresa saw the way she looked at her and gave her a smile, nodding.

“We’ve had her here for observation for weeks now. You saved her. And you can save so many others. Everything we’re doing here, it’s working.” Her smile stretched at the joy that this statement brought her. “Do you understand? That’s why this is so important.”

Hoping that Grace would say something to her made Teresa greatly disappointed when the later just looked down at the table again. She sighed and stood up.

“I just wanted you to know.”

“Teresa.” When she turned her back to her, Grace called her name so softly it almost sounded like a whisper.

“Grace?” She asked as if she thought she had dreamed being called out to. She approached and leaned gently towards her. The girl lifted her head slightly, looking up at Teresa. Grace swallowed harshly, her throat feeling so sore and parted her lips.

“Minho… let me see him… please…” She had to speak directly into Teresa's ear, the sound of her voice being so low. Pronouncing these 6 words had already almost made her breathless. Teresa straightened up and nodded, unable to promise her that this meeting would actually happen. Two guards then came in and grabbed Grace by the arms, lifting her up from the chair and moving her out of the room. Her body hanged from their hand like she was just a rag, and she was brought to a single room which she recognized to be the one she was in before they started actively experimenting on her. The guards put her on the bed, lying on her right side and connected her handcuffs to chains tied to the feet of the bed. The chain was so short she couldn’t even think of rolling over, but she didn’t have the energy to do so anyway. She stared at the window across the wall. She couldn’t see what was going on in the hallways but anyone stopping by could watch her in the room. It was the least of her worries. Grace closed her eyes and she was so tired that despite the bright, white lights on the ceiling, she managed to fall asleep almost instantly.

When she woke up, Grace let out a yawn so big it felt like her jaw was dropping. She winced. Her mouth hurt. She straightened up with difficulty leaning on her forearm to bring her face closer to her hands and touched her mouth with her fingertips. She hissed when she touched actual wounds. Her lips were so dry and irritated that the corners of her mouth were cracked. Maybe that played in why Teresa looked at her with so much concern in her eyes when they met. Or maybe this was just an impression and Teresa didn't care about how awful Grace looked. Her eyes then went down her hands and arms. She knew they had been drawing blood from her for a while now, sticking needles wherever they could but she hadn’t realized how bad it was. There were large, dark blue-purple bruises all over her skin. A squeal escaped her lips, and she felt her body shake. Seeing those bruises covering nearly every square inch of her skin shocked her and she felt her stomach churn. She felt sick and a sudden wave of heat came over her upper body. It was as if she was burning up and she collapsed onto the floor with a grunt, staring at the ceiling, in pain. Her breaths fastened.

From the corner of her eyes, she saw a guard being hurried inside the room to detach the chain from the handcuffs. Seeing these two people come in gave her an idea. She felt something cold being pressed against her shoulder and she quickly felt her body and breathing relax.

“How long did I asleep?” She asked faintly.

“You’ve slept since your meeting with Teresa, this morning. You needed the rest.” The woman gave her a smile and helped her sit at the table against the wall. She showed no resistance and let herself be handled, swiftly stealing her access card from her pocket. Surprisingly, the doctor then told the guard to remove her handcuffs as the girl wasn’t going anywhere in her state. While she had her back turned, Grace let herself fall against the backrest of the chair and slipped the card at her waist, held in place by the elastic of her pants. If she tried to escape from this place, she might need this card to even get out of this room in the first place. The guard took her handcuffs off and remained in the room to watch her while the woman walked to the door. She reached for her card but didn’t find it and she patted her pockets, not understanding where it could have gone. She motioned for the guard to open for her and left. A couple minutes later, someone came in carrying a food tray. It was placed in front of Grace and after she ate, the doctor came back, this time sending the guard on his way so she could check on Grace’s bruises. A kidney plate on the table caught his eye. His arms were outstretched, one on the table the other in the doctor's hands. Grace pushed the tray over the edge of the table, exaggerating the exhaustion she was in to make it seem accidental. Cotton balls rolled on the floor.

“Sorry.” Grace breathed out.

“It’s all right. I’ll take care of it.” The woman turned her back to her and bent over to gather the cotton balls and the other stuff that fell from the tray. Grace had a sudden burst of energy, and she immediately grabbed a syringe from another tray and a small bottle of drugs. She didn't take the time to read the label and just filled the syringe with it before stabbing the needle in the woman lower back. She injected the liquid and watch her body drop to the floor. Grace had no idea if she was really unconscious, but she stood up. Her legs almost gave out beneath her, and she caught herself on the table before straightening up and dropping down beside the woman lying there. She took off her white blouse and shoes. The teenage girl then put all that on and got up, not without much difficulty, leaning on the back of the chair.

“This is useless, you know?” Grace glanced over her shoulders and shrugged, breathing heavily.

“I gotta try.” She said standing at her full height facing the door, trying to hide the colossal amount of effort that it took her not to fall right here and there. She slipped the card into the slot next to the door. It buzzed open and she stepped out in the hallway of the medical wing, where she had spent day after day for the past few months. She had never put so much focus on something as basic as walking but placing one foot in front of the other while standing without any support seemed so hard. She felt her legs shaking and the thought of collapsing in the hallway terrified her, so she forced herself to keep going when she heard the doctor's voice coming from her room. The latter was shouting at a guard to go after her and in the blink of an eye she was pinned down, the guard's knee pressing against her back while he held her bruised arms with a strong grip. Being on the floor was almost relaxing after trying so hard to walk, if it weren't for the pain she was being put through. The fatigue came back in a second and she didn’t even realize when she passed out. She opened and closed her eyes without being able to move a finger and that blurry vision was back. She heard voices around her but the words were confused and sounded deafened and all she could really tell was that she was lying on some sort of bed, in a room she didn't know. Her eyes half open she saw an orange light swirling in the corridors, not knowing what was going on. It was as if not only was her body asleep again, but her mind and senses were also functioning in slow motion. She felt a pressure somewhere on her body, but she was so numb she couldn’t tell where it came from though, she recognized the pressure of a syringe. She slowly realized she was coming out of whatever they had used to sedate her a moment prior when she heard glass breaking sharply on the floor and loud grunting as if there was fight going on. The sounds became clearer as the grunting turned into yelling and she almost fell off the bed when she tried to get up. She felt strong hands catching her in her fall and as she was helped up, she saw Thomas’ face and couldn’t believe it.

“Thomas.” She didn’t care about the pain that continuously shot through her bruised limbs and wrapped her arms around her brother with a sob. Newt and Minho were panting from the effort the fights required, standing there a few feet away from the siblings just reuniting. They joined in the hug after Grace gave them a look when she noticed them in the room. She also gave them each a hug and upon turning back to Thomas, she saw him staring at her arms in shock. Taking a step back, she hit the bed and looked at the three boys. Newt and Minho had also just seen the state in which WICKED had left her and she couldn't help but look away. Seeing what her arms looked like made her sick to her stomach but seeing the guilt in their eyes made her feel even worse. She thought of telling them she was fine, but she couldn’t even resort herself to saying such blatant lies. She felt dizzy and her body was weak, barely able to stand on her own.

“Grace—”

“It’s— I didn’t want them to experiment on you.” She said in one breath, wrapping her arm around her stomach, holding her side. She patted lightly when she felt a bandage under her T-shirt. For a split second she wondered what they had done to her, and she quickly remembered that she had spent most of her last months hooked up to machines, a tube in her stomach to feed her. Not one of them really said anything. All three of them were at an abyssal loss of words. Thomas looked around and grabbed one of the doctors lying dead and lifted the body, grabbing it by the collar to pull off its white coat and put it around Grace's shoulders. She couldn't hide the pain that shot through her arms as she tucked them into the sleeves and closed her eyes so as not to see the way the boys were staring at her.

“Let’s get them out of here.” Thomas glanced at Newt and nodded. He helped Grace to walk out of the room but as they came around the corner of the corridor, a bunch of soldiers spotted them and yelled in their direction. Grace barely had time to realize, she let out a gasp when she was suddenly lifted off the floor and found herself in Thomas's arms as the boys ran in the opposite direction. She clung to Thomas and watched the soldiers chasing them with dread on her tired face. As they fled, she met Janson's gaze and felt her heart skip a beat, holding her breath until he left her field of vision. They were desperately trying to shake off Janson and the soldiers but came to a halt when the latter came from in front of them. Grace ducked her head in Thomas’ neck when they fired in their direction. Minho urged them to get into the room to their right and slammed the door shut and locking it. Janson could be heard grunting as he banged on the door furiously. Thomas took a look around the room while Newt and Minho knocked over a piece of furniture across the door to block it. They backtracked against the large bay window overlooking the rest of the city. Grace stared at the door anxiously, trying to stay calm but with the fatigue and pain she was in, she was kind of all over the place.

“Oh, shit…” Thomas swore as they heard loud steps on the other side of the door. Janson really wanted that door open for the sole reason that he felt so entitled to what was in their blood and the cure that could come out of it. Though she was scared shitless, Grace knew that now that Thomas had her back, WICKED was going to have to keep their claws off her. Grace gulped as she heard a drill whirring. They were trying to saw through the lock on the door to open it.

“Any ideas?” Minho enquired while he and Newt stared at the door, sparks flying inside the room. Grace followed Thomas gaze as he turned to the window and looked down. He showed the pool beneath them and stepped aside, still carrying his sister in his arms while Newt and Minho threw a huge canister at the window, shattering the glass. He put Grace on her feet, holding her firmly by the waist and all four of them stood on the edge, watching the canister fall heavily into the water.

“It’s doable.” Thomas said, glancing at his sister and friend. In other circumstances, Grace would have laughed when she saw Minho’s doubtful face. “Just need a little running start.” Thomas was the first to walk towards the middle of the room, swiftly taking his sister back in his arms since she couldn't run, even for such a short distance. He told her to hold on tight and she clung to him, ignoring the pain that shot through her bruised hands, staring fearfully through the window, taking breaths to try to calm down.

“You sure about this?” Minho asked.

“Not really.” He saw the look on Grace’s face and added; “it’s gonna be okay.”

“Nice pep talk.”

“Yeah, we’re all bloody inspired.” Newt added sarcastically.

The sound of the saw stopped, and Grace turned her head towards the door. There was a silence for a couple of seconds before they started ramming the door. The door banged open, and Janson stepped over the furniture on the floor to get in the room. Thomas swore under his breath and the three boys ran for it and jumped out the window. He shouted, telling Grace to hold her breath but she didn't have time to process what he said and what was happening. She screamed her brother’s name as they fell. She opened her eyes underwater, blinded by this cloud of bubbles and this deaf sound that was her voice. In a matter of less than a second, the nightmares she had of herself drowning came back and she panicked. She was pulled out by Thomas and desperately gasped for air, coughing dryly, and wincing at the sensation of her nose and throat sore from breathing in water. He tightened his grip of her and pushed the hair sticking to her face, reassuring her. She calmed down but had no control over the cough she was seized with. Thomas gave the middle finger to Janson, who was watching them from the windowsill and the group swam to shore. Grace let Thomas pull her with him, out of breath. Only when he put her on the edge of the pool before he even got out of the water, did she realize she was sobbing, panting, coughing and shaking all at once. He pulled Minho and Newt out of the water and helped Grace get on her feet when soldiers ordered them to stay where they were, their machine guns aiming at them. There weren’t many options, so they obliged. While staring at the soldiers, Thomas whispered to Grace to help her calm down. He tried to reach for the handgun at his thigh, but they saw him, advising him not to do that.

“Get on your knees with your hands in the air.” Grace gasped loudly and widened her eyes when one of the soldiers started firing at his peers, stunning them with the electric shots. Once they were all down, he came towards them and took off his mask. Her jaw dropped when she saw Gally standing right in front of them.

“Minho. Grace.” He nodded at them before looking up the building. “You guys are nuts.”

“I’ll explain later.” Thomas then told Minho and his sister, who looked at each other in shock before walking away. Grace heavily relied on her brother’s support to walk along them. She could feel her legs almost giving way with every step. It took so much energy from her; she would have never been able to walk on her own. She barely managed to take deep breaths. Sneaking through the city was really not easy on her. They slid on the ground, hiding from the soldiers looking for them. Thomas sat her down against the grove's half wall, in between him and Gally. She held her arms with a low moan of pain through her teeth. She almost felt even more drained than back there.

“Well, they’re definitely pissed.” Gally declared.

“How far are the tunnels?” Thomas enquired as he took off his soaked gloves, looking at his sister with concern. She was way calmer now, but he could tell she was in a lot of pain, on top of being exhausted.

“Uh, maybe blocks from here.” They all looked ahead of them upon hearing Newt, who was a few feet away, sitting next to Minho, started coughing his lungs out. Grace stared at him, not understanding what was wrong with him at first but when it clicked, her face dropped, and she felt her heart and stomach sank to her feet. It couldn’t be. He couldn’t be infected. They were supposed to be immune to this. Gally looked at the two siblings. “We can make it.”

Thomas didn’t say anything. Him and Gally crouched behind the wall, on the look out but she kept staring at Newt. She had just reunited with her friends, and she was faced with the realization that one of them was dying and that she could save him with all the fucking vaccines or whatever that they made using her, but they needed time to get said cure. She was so focused on the fact that Newt was dying that she completely overlooked the reappearance of Gally. Minho came towards them.

“Hey. How long has he been like this?”

“He’ll be okay. We just gotta get to Brenda.” Thomas said, taking off his jacket. “She’s got the serum. Come on, let’s go.”

Thomas tried to help his sister get up, but she pushed him away, telling him to take care of Newt. Minho and Gally, or either of them, could help her. They watched him catch Newt as he almost fell over and walked away. Until then, she hadn't really cared about the sticky feel of her soaked clothes on her skin, but she suddenly couldn't bare it anymore and leaned forward, moaning from the pain as she tried to pull the blouse off.

“Hey, hey, hey. Take it easy, Grace. Don’t hurt yourself.” Minho hastened to stop her and helped her take off the blouse. Gally's eyes slid down her arms as she fell back against the low wall. Like every single one of them when they saw all the bruises, he couldn’t help but stare in shock, though he tried to control his expression, she could tell in his eyes. He was taken out of his stupor by Minho’s voice. “Why you helping us, Gally? I put a spear through your chest.”

“Yeah. Nobody’s perfect, man.” He shrugged it off and was about to help Grace up but a quick look from Minho was enough to make Gally understand that he got this so the latter just stood up, patting him on the shoulder and walked off.

“Can you stand?” She nodded and he put her arm around his shoulder, holing her by the waist and they just started following Gally and Thomas when she spoke with a faint voice.

“Minho… did they do something to you?”

“They put me through a bunch of simulations, but they only did it a couple of time.”

“Okay. Good…” She nodded, resting her eyes as they walked. She was relieved to hear that Teresa did keep her word and stopped the experiments on him and the others.

“What did you do, Grace?” His question got her to look at him from the corner of her eyes and the silence that followed pushed her to say something. Her brother and Newt were far ahead but not Gally. She knew he would hear but it wasn't that much of a problem. She just didn't want Thomas to know about all this. For now, anyway. On the way, she proceeded to tell him about the day Teresa came to talk to her, trying to get her to cooperate, and she ended up agreeing to do all this and that her only condition to this was for them to leave Minho alone and not use him for any experiments of any kind. She could tell he was upset to hear all this, but the guilt outweighed it. He came out of this safe and sound because she took it all on her. She didn’t have to tell him about how they drew her blood almost every day, leaving her bedridden and in a medically induced coma for a while. She didn’t tell him about the anxiety-inducing nightmares of her drowning or about how sick she gets when she looks at her arms now.

“Anyway… I’ll recover from this.”

“They tortured you—”

“And I agreed to it. It was a shit decision, but it doesn’t matter…” She shook her head, letting out a sigh. “You should go help Thomas with Newt.”

“Grace, you can barely walk on your own.”

“I’ll help her.” Gally turned to them and pushed by Grace, Minho went ahead and put Newt’s arm around his shoulder. She took a step forward and it was enough for her to lose her balance and catch herself on the arm that Gally held out to her. They resumed their walk and stopped in their tracks again, watching an explosion occur further ahead of them. “We’re supposed to take down WICKED, not the whole damn city.”

“Gally, come on.” Thomas urged him to continue on their way and Grace had to wait for him to follow them and looked up at him observing the fire left by the explosion. He didn't seem so thrilled with how far this was going but she didn’t really care. She already had a hard time with Gally back in the Glade and she still wasn’t too fond of him, but he seemed nicer than he used to be. If someone had told her that she would stop hating Gally one day and that he would even go so far as helping her out, she wouldn’t have believed it. When you remember how he ran after her and she taunted him from the top of a tree after she tried out for the Builders during the first week, she would have never thought she would even accept help from him.

[To be continued…]

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Published (26/06/2023) by Andrea

Taglist: @cathrin2405 @kika64

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justinewt · 1 year ago

Text

Fall Into Despair - TMR REWRITE Chapter Eleven

[TMR REWRITE-MASTERLIST]

Previous Chapter

Summary: They were in the final stretch. The last fight to bring down WICKED had started and the city was going up in flames. Thomas, Minho, Gally, Newt and Grace had to be quick and get out of there before they ended up in the fire but reaching Brenda and their friends was no easy task. Grace was exhausted from everything she had been put through and this one last effort might end up being too much for her to handle.

Words: 3.8k

Warnings: TMR Death cure spoilers, angst, mental torture, medical experiments, needles, restraints, violence, mention of suicide attempt, stabbing, blood, depression

With soldiers everywhere in the city, it was hard to go through it undetected. They had to crouch down and hide behind anything they could. Cars were blocking the street. The five of them took cover behind plants on the sidewalks. Grace and Newt were sat against the wall while Gally and Thomas peeked out, but they were stuck there.

“What are they waiting for?” Right Minho spoke, there was a huge explosion behind Thomas, making him jump and look around. A crowd came running and screaming while there was another explosion. Gally told them to get down. The soldiers started shooting at the people. They all lied down on top of each other. Grace held her hands to her ears when someone launched a rocket in the middle of the street. This was complete chaos, and they had to take this chance and run. Thomas and Minho grabbed Newt, Gally helped Grace with one arm, holding his gun with the other and they took advantage of the general mayhem around them to leave. In all the months that they had spent in this city, this was the first time she actually saw said city, and it had gone downhill.

Everything that was happening forced them to hide in a coffee shop whose front window had been blown up. Thomas used the radio to try to make contact with Brenda. The situation was becoming critical, and they were running out of time to help Newt, who was getting worse by the eye. To watch him deteriorate in front of her eyes was very difficult for Grace, especially after she was put through. She agreed to be used and tortured to make a fucking cure and she couldn’t give it to the one person that mattered. She saved a child but saving Newt was more important in her eyes because he was her friend. He didn’t deserve to end like this when there was an actual way of helping him. She would never forgive herself if he didn’t make it out of this city, alive. Grace didn’t even dare look at Newt. She stared at the fire outside the building, only turning her head towards her brother when she heard Brenda say something about “their ride”. Apparently, she was coming to them. Thomas looked at the four others with confusion on his face. He didn’t know what she was talking about either.

They resumed their journey, trying to move quickly through the city which was falling apart around them, to quickly find Brenda and the others. They had to arrive before it was too late for Newt, before he was too far gone. Thomas and Minho were once again helping Newt while Grace tried to walk on her own, one hand gripped onto Gally's shoulder who was leading the way, holding his gun in front of him, ready to fire if needed.

“All right. Newt, we’re almost there.” He said, looking at the three behind him. Mere seconds after he spoke, an explosion sent a burning car flying across the road. They all jumped, losing their balances. Grace got so startled she loosened her grip on Gally's bulletproof vest and almost fell but he had the reflex to catch her with his free hand. He told everyone to stay back as he ducked behind the wall, giving Grace his arm for support. A crowd of people ran down the road, yelling and holding their weapons up in the air or shooting at the soldiers ahead. They glanced at each other before looking up when they heard an engine hum in the sky. A helicarrier flew overhead.

“Okay, that’s them.” Thomas declared.

“Go without me, man. You should just…” Newt tried to argue when Minho and Thomas went to pick him up, coughing up black blood. He looked even more sick than before, wheezing and panting. Grace looked away, holding her arms softly. She sighed heavily but quietly, feeling her stomach starting to ache.

“Minho. You gotta run ahead, grab the serum, and get back as soon as you can. Minho, go.” The latter was obviously reluctant to leave them here.

“He’s right. I can cover.” Gally added before standing up and going to the corner of the street. Newt grabbed Minho’s arm, streaks of blood flowing from his mouth onto his chin, his eyes bloodshot.

“Thank you, Minho.”

“Hey, just hang on. You hear me?” After a second, he finally gets up and follows Gally. Grace stayed with Thomas and Newt since she would have greatly slowed them down in their quest for the serum to cure Newt. The serum made with the experiments conducted on Grace for months. If that bloody serum was going to save anyone, it was Newt. She didn't really care to know that a little girl had been healed thanks to her. Everything she had to endure had to be used for something, otherwise she could tell she was going to lose it. The guilt that would hang over her head for failing to save him would be too much for her to handle. She knew it. Thomas leaned towards Newt as his breathing quickened. Grace jumped when he raised his voice, trying to get his attention on him.

“We’re gonna try this, okay? We gotta move, now. Let’s get you up, come on. Let’s go, come on. Grace you can walk right—” He glanced at the latter while addressing her but turned his head back to Newt when he spoke up. She watched anxiously.

“No. No, Thomas.”

“No, Newt. Later. Later. Really gotta go.” Newt grunted as he snapped a necklace from his neck and handed it to Thomas as they argued. He yelled for Thomas to take whatever this was, breathing sharply. Grace noticed a small pendant capsule and it only took her a few seconds to realize that he had put something inside for them. The idea that he knew he was doomed and had written them something broke Grace's heart and she kept saying in her head that they had to succeed in saving him so that they would never need to discover what could be in this small capsule.

“Please. Please, Tommy. Please.” He begged, short-winded. Thomas eventually took it, exchanging a look with Grace and they were both equally worried about the outcome of this whole situation.

“All right. I need you to give me everything you got. Come on, ready? Here we go.” Newt grunted loudly as Thomas lifted him off the ground. Grace leaned on the wall Gally had seated her against and managed to get up. It was more complicated with no one to hold onto, but for once her legs weren't shaking so much that she collapsed to the ground. They were shaking and the steps she took following her brother were hesitant and jerky, as if she was a toddler taking their first steps, but she kept up with them. Watching Newt struggle in front of her was terribly nerve-wracking. They walked through the street, seeing bullets fly before their eyes. Thomas sometimes looked at his sister to make sure she wasn’t too far behind. He often called out to her, telling her to keep going. Knowing that she hadn’t walked that much in months, or even at all, it really was a miracle that she managed to do so.

They got to a deserted area, going through doors with panes broken into a thousand pieces. They were almost there but not quite, and time was soon to run out for Newt. Grace heard Newt gag and fall over. She staggered and stopped in her tracks, staring at them. Thomas caught him in his fall, toppling over. He crouched around him, grabbing his arm to carry him and drag him the rest of the way and seeing his face, Grace held back a sob, resuming her walk until her brother collapsed. She called his name in a low but piercing shriek. Still feeling that her body was tired and weak, she knew she couldn’t help in any capacity so she could only watch. She had never felt so useless in her life. He held out his palm to stop her from coming closer and the moment she came to a halt, she felt her legs go numb and fell to the ground.

“Grace—”

“I’m okay, it’s… okay. I—” They both raised their heads when they heard a voice call out to them through the speakers. It resonated all throughout the city. She was probably talking to them directly from WICKED labs.

“Can you hear me? I need you to listen to me. I know you have no reason to trust me, but I need you to come back. Thomas, you can save Newt.” He stood up and glanced at Newt before turning back to where the voice came from. “There’s still time for him. There’s a reason Brenda isn’t sick anymore. It’s your blood. Yours, and Grace. She isn’t sick, because you cured her. She doesn’t have to be the only one. When we had Grace, we made a cure. An actual cure. It saved a little girl, Thomas. She had been infected for weeks, and Grace’s blood cured her. Do you understand? All you have to do is come back. And this will all finally be over.”

His back to her, he didn’t see Grace lean on her hands and push herself up on her feet. Teresa probably wanted him to come but Grace was ready to go back there if there was a guaranty Newt would be saved. Going back would mean death for her. If they took anymore of her blood, she wouldn’t wake up from the next medically induced coma they would put her in. The lights reflected off his glossy eyes. He saw Grace walk in his field of vision and turned his head, grabbing her shoulders to stop her.

“No.”

“Thomas...”

“Minho is bringing the cure. I won’t let them use you again.” His eyes moved anxiously over her face. Grace didn't say anything but when her head slowly turned to look at Newt, Thomas followed her gaze, letting go of her as they watched their friend get up on his own. There was a brief but heavy silence.

“Newt?” She called out to him, and Thomas held out his arm in front of her to make her step back. It felt like time was suspended, until he turned around, revealing his dark eyes and drooling mouth. Her brother barely had time to tell her to step back, Newt growled as he lunged at Thomas to attack him. Grace was pushed abruptly and grunted as she fell heavily on her arm, gasping in pain as she held her arm and rolled on her back. He shouted at her to stay away, asking if she was okay but all his focus was on Newt who was going berserk, throwing himself at Thomas. He fell, got back up and ran toward him. Grace watched them roll on the ground. Newt got on all four, panting and looked at Thomas, begging the latter to kill him.

“Newt, I’m here.” He took a few steps towards him, but Newt jumped on him, pushing him down, trying to bite him. Thomas struggled, crying out to him. Newt seemed to have a moment of clarity and he got calmer but only for an instant. He reached for Thomas’ thigh holster and brought the gun to his head. Thomas yelled and knocked the gun off his hand. It skidded on the ground and was stopped by Grace's leg. She pushed herself up into a sitting position but did nothing with the weapon. Newt let out a crank-like growl right Thomas’ face. Grace sobbed when he grabbed a knife from his belt and attacked him with it. Staring in fear and shock, she could only watch Newt try to stab her brother as he struggled against him, pinned down. She started crying, shouting for Newt to stop as Thomas screamed when the tip of the knife's blade digged through his skin, right above his heart. She knew her cries wouldn’t change anything and that he was driven to madness by the flare, but she felt so helpless watching them fight. Thomas kicked Newt’s back, pushing him away and punched him in the jaw. They got up. Newt swinged the knife around until he got close to Thomas, and they suddenly froze. Grace gasped, staring at them. Her heart pounding in her chest. Thomas had the same expression of utter shock on his face as he held Newt against him. Grace crawled and got on her feet. Thomas took a step back and she didn’t dare take a step closer. When she saw the knife in Newt’s chest, her stomach sank to her feet, making her feel like her guts literally dropped to the ground. A feeling of sickness washed over her, and she had a hard time standing up.

Thomas fell to his knees, calling out to him while Grace stood there, unable to take her eyes off his face. The silence that followed his calls was the straw that broke the camel’s back. She took a step forward and collapsed, bringing her trembling hand to his face, tears flowing down her eyes as she sobbed. She didn’t cry that badly when they were taken away from their mother. The realization that everything she put herself through to make this cure had been for nothing, she wailed. Grabbing onto Newt’s jacket, she let her head fall forward, her forehead resting on his shoulder which stifled her gut-wrenching cry interspersed with sobs. Her scream was so piercing that her throat was sore, but she didn't stop. Everything and everyone around her had stopped existing. She didn’t even realise her brother had walked away until she lifted her head to look at Newt and saw Minho and Siggy approach. Her scream became shaky as the weeping took over and she quietly stared at his dark eyes. They looked empty and blank. Minho and Siggy were on their knees, with Gally and Brenda in shock a few feet away.

Grace began to apologize to Newt, over and over and over again even though she was aware he couldn’t hear it, and that he wouldn’t respond to her words. She cupped his hand with hers. His body was still warm, but his hand was limp, and she just sobbed and kept saying how she was sorry and how this had all been for nothing. She had undergone all this torture for absolutely nothing and it was tearing her apart. She wished she could be gone, right there and then. She wished Janson had gotten what he wanted and emptied her of all the blood in her body so that she would be dead already. If she was dead, this pain and guilt that overwhelmed her would be gone altogether and she wouldn’t hurt anymore. She got quiet as her eyes looked at the knife in his chest. She didn’t care if it hurt for a moment. It would be just that. A moment and then she wouldn’t feel anything anymore. The reflection of her standing in front of this bathroom mirror, holding a gun to her temple flashed before her eyes. Her hand wrapped itself around the handle of the knife as she saw her index finger get on the trigger. She heard voices around her, but they were deafened. Her brother coming in the room to stop her. Her friends calling out to her. She could hear her and at the same time, she couldn’t. She wasn’t there anymore until she felt pain shot through her arm and she saw Minho’s hand holding her. She then realized that she had removed the knife from the body and although she saw Minho next to her, without looking at him directly, she still didn't let go of the knife.

“Grace. Let go off the knife. Please.” She stared at the knife; her face scrunched up as she began to cry again. It was only the second time in her life that she felt such bottomless despair, as if she was falling in a dark hole and she watched the light become smaller, with no way of coming back up and the only solution was to resign and let herself fall.

“It was all for nothing. I can’t— I can’t live with that… He died, and I couldn’t help him!” Her sobs were suddenly interrupted by her outburst of anger, and she shouted. She instantly felt regret for screaming in Minho's face, but it didn't compare to how remorseful she was for failing at helping save Newt.

“It’s not your fault, Grace.” His eyes were shining from the tears that filled them up a moment ago and his voice was tainted with sadness and grief, just like her. He obviously wanted to talk her out of doing something stupid. Maybe he thought he could, but Grace knew she wouldn’t let go off the knife unless it pierced her heart and somewhere deep down, she knew that none of the people here would let her go through with it, let alone Minho. Newt and Thomas' best friend, and a close friend of hers as well.

“It doesn’t matter.” Her voice got quiet as she stared at the knife again, already plotting something in her head. With tears in her eyes, rolling down her already wet cheeks, her voice trembled as she spoke, slowly tightening her grip over the handle. “They took my blood, for days on end… they made a fucking cure… and it still wasn’t enough to save the one person that needed it, so why does it matter?”

“You did all you could. That’s what matters.” He didn’t know what else to tell her, because she was right. Every single word she spoke was true and he couldn’t argue with her. Grace rested the knife on Newt's chest and maybe Minho thought she wasn't holding it anymore, so he let go off her arm and he went to help her get up but next thing he knew, she had drawn her hands close to her body and she froze in front of him. It felt like she had been hit with a hot iron. Minho screamed her name and caught her before she hit the ground. Siggy and Gally ran up and joined Minho around her. She was drawing sharp and quick breaths as her hands shyly letting go off the knife. Her eyes were wide as she watched the blood soak her tee-shirt, a red stain growing over her stomach. She quickly felt dizziness kick in and Gally held her head as it fell backwards while Minho applied pressure around the wound. Grace thought she would be successful in her attempt because they would have to leave at some point, or they would be stuck in a city going up in flames and it was oddly comforting. For some reason, she couldn’t think of her brother and how this would affect him. She could only think about her pain and guilt. Her body started feeling cold as her eyes closed and opened with difficulty. She was still crying but not continuously anymore. The pain from the wound, her arms and Newt’s death were all overlapping with each other, and she couldn’t make out anything. When she closed her eyes, the cold, the hurt, the exhaustion, the grief, everything went away.

It was her nightmare all over again, her falling in a dark water except that she couldn’t feel any water. Voices echoing around her, mingling in a sound that rocked her. Then suddenly, the silence became uncomfortable, and she opened her eyes. She stood in front of this mirror again. There was an infinite number of reflections spreading around her. As she turned around, she felt a sharp pain in her stomach. There was a knife in her hand, dripping with blood. She looked up and every single of her reflection held a gun to their head. They were staring right at Grace with these dark, bloodshot eyes and their drooling mouth with this black blood falling down their chin, just like Newt. All together, they growled and fired.

Grace sat up in her bed, sweating and panting as she slung her legs over the bed. She had been tormented by these nightmares since the day Newt died. And since their arrival on this island where they had created a real Safe Haven with the members of the Right Arm and their friends who survived, she had not known peace. Every day she saw Newt, both smiling in the Glade and when he was turning. His face was always there, as if it was tattooed at the back of her eyeballs. Whether she closed them or not didn't matter. She was always seeing these memories of him, overlapping in her mind. And the guilt she felt since then was eating away at her and it was worse torture than what WICKED had ever put her through. Not a day went by without her wanting to see an end to this silent torture, but Thomas kept her close. They shared a shed in the Safe Haven. He was there for her, and so were Minho, Siggy, Gally and their everyone else, though not all of them knew about how she felt inside. Moonlight faintly illuminating the room, she glanced at her brother, sleeping in his bed. She stood up and quietly opened the door, her feet sinking in the sand as soon as she stepped outside. With one hand rubbing softly the scar on her stomach, she walked all the way to the memorial stone where they carved in the names of all who were dead. She looked at them. She didn’t carve Newt’s name, Minho did. She couldn’t bring herself to it because it would force her to accept his death. Thomas had added Teresa’s name too, but she didn’t look at that one too much.

She circled the large stone and walked on the beach, quickly feeling the sand become wet under her feet. When the tide washed over her ankles, she glanced down but kept walking, the bottom of her pants getting soaked as she advanced. She was staring at the horizon, her eyes riveted straight ahead. Newt had left Thomas a letter. That was what was in the small pendant capsule he gave him that day. A message of hope, asking to take care of the others that were left, telling him how he missed the sun rising over the Glade. She did too and she kept thinking about, incapable of moving on. She hadn’t been herself since he died, and she had only one solution to how to get rid of this grief and guilt. She hated how days passed and turned into weeks and months, pushing them further away from that day. She didn’t know if she would ever move on.

All she knew was that she wished she could see just one more time the sun rising over the Glade and join Newt in the garden and tend to the crops.

[The End…]

Previous Chapter

Published (03/07/2023) by Andrea

Taglist: @cathrin2405 @kika64

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