#tmalesbeen shitpost

[tmabutlesbian]

i can imagine, like, tim thirsting or even openly teasing martin abt how hot n cute he is, his arms, his big belly and his big titties (martin acts like he hates this one in particular but he actually finds it very hilarious) n his fluffy hair n what not

n jon overhears. and while he might not understand what the fuck tim might mean he knows 1) its complimentary 2) its of the saucy nature, cuz hes not that dumb, n also tim always makes a bastard lil face when he says smth inappropriate 3) theyre all abt martin's appearance, which he can see n fact check

so while he like, doesnt rly think or feel exactly what tim means, he now knows that tim thinks of martin *like that* and now whenever he looks at martin n thinks, factually, "he has big arms" he fucking flushes cuz he knows for some ppl, like tim, this is arousing and "sexy" or whatever, so now hes going around, looking at martin, blushing, n it gives ppl the wrong fucking idea n arsdtfyghjtfugyihujo this is so funny to me!!!

jon's here like "oh he has big arms, they seem strong, from what i can see from the muscle and what not and when he crosses his arms they flex, wow fascinating the human body" AND THE HE'S LIKE "THIS IS A SEX THING FOR SOME PPL HOW SINFUL OF ME" AND HE CANT FUCKING LOOK AT MARTIN RIGHT FOR A WHILE AHAHAHDTRYFTUGYIHU

im so sorry i just. its just funny to me. its so funny. you KNOW when they start dating, jon will like tell this to martin n martin will bully the SHIT out of jon for it. he'd be horrible. he'd be teasing jon all the time everywhere n then catch jon staring and going "GASP JONATHAN SIMS STOP OBJECTIFYING ME HOW DARE YOU-" SDFGHJDFYGHJKFGHJK POOR JON HES SO TIRED

[tmabutlesbian]

attention, this is a n-s-f-w post abt martin's big guy between his legs so yknow, the rest under the cut

i personally hc martin as a cis man, so bear that in mind

i also hc him as having the biggest dick known to man

imagine. its halloween. tim, sasha n martin have matching costumes: sasha is ur run of the mill ugly evil cackling witch, tim is ur hot witch with one of those iconic sexy halloween costumes, and martin is their cat/familiar. he gets to wear a cat onesie for halloween. he's living the life right?

well, it was hard to find martin's costume at a reasonable price and within the limited timeframe they got from elias when he announced the institutes halloween costume party. sasha finds it somehow, because its sasha, but its like, right on the day of the party. so sasha goes to the tube looking like a green ugly witch with a huge bag with one (1) cat onesie and one (1) pair of properly patterned halloween tights that sasha already had. therefore, martin n tim are waiting for sasha to get their costumes on (btw, jon didnt wanna participate in such childish things as per s1 jon, but he does get those fake fang things for vampire costumes)

sasha gets there, gives them the goods, and leaves them to change in document storage. tim just needs to pull the tights on his legs and put on his high heels and he's done. martin needs to get naked. why couldnt he stay with his boxers on?? oh he will but both tim n sasha made him promise he'd wear halloween patterned underwear like them just for funsies so he already had those at the ready in doc storage. he's so preoccupied in understanding how a onesie works that he forgets tim's there

when martin takes too long, tim turns around and freezes. now, hes not gonna lie and say he's never thought of martin naked. man's hot, we all know this. but he just imagined it, never had the facts. NOW he has the facts. and they're big.

martin busts out tim's full goverment name when he catches him staring and tim is horrified and embarassed but martin just laughs him off and gets dressed, less terrified than tim would expect

tim learns later that apparently, from the admitedly little expreince martin has to getting naked in front of others, they always have the same reaction if they ever look down, so he's used to it atp. tim is still terrified but also horny cuz wtf?? big dick?? on sweet and big martin?? he needs to ride this man

anyways, martin in a cat onesie also does things for jon but theyre way less sexual and more like "omg martin is a big cat, like the admiral, awww- wAIT" and supresses the fact that he thinks martin looks cute as a cat. sasha was the one who had the underwear idea and did plan this, cause shes a menace to society and we love her for it

[tmabutlesbian]

michael's voice has so much gender in it, i want to eat it

[tmabutlesbian]

tma pirate au, for the sole reason of martin wearing the epitome of pirate fashion: loose white shirt and tight black pants. martin FUCKS y'all

[tmabutlesbian]

YOU KNOW WHAT WE NEED.

TMA PIRATES AU. FUCK.

TMA WWDITS AU. DOUBLE FUCK.

[tmabutlesbian]

today i am reminded that i love martin very much, so much love stored in me for one (1) man. oh martin.

[tmabutlesbian]

guys. i. idk how. but for some reason i had convinced myself that in 2009 martin was 18. that literally make no mathematical sense. he is 28 in 2016, s1 of tma. how the fuck. did i think. that he had 18 in 2009? he was 21!! i think its cuz either 1) i read somewhere he worked for the institute for 10 years n they either got it wrong as well or they were taking abt martin having worked in the institute for 10 years per 2019 (but i think the eyepocalypse happened before that? right?) OR 2) somehow i got this idea from either the podcast or just somewhere?? but if it came from the podcast why does the wiki say "at least 2009"? why not just say he started at 2006??? did i rly hear it that wrong?? where even did i read this?? how come i was thinking that at 2009, which is the year i think martin did start at, he was somehow 18?? did i say this wrong in some hc or smth?? did i just bypass this?? cuz honestly i prefer the canon than him being 18 that makes 0 sense wtf. how. HOW?????

[tmabutlesbian]

im so invested on my pirate au that im downloading a game abt dismantling guns, for the funsies but also!! because martin does take apart peter's gun to make his own, so i wanted to. idk. expand on that ig.

[tmabutlesbian]

since we’ve established that shipping gerrymichael is, at the very least, very fucking weird, can we please think about their dynamic as uncle and nephew? because Michael knew Eric right? Probably were friends, y’know? Not too far fetched to think Eric might like Michael to be Gerry’s uncle, that type that isn’t related by blood but has the vibe.

So like,,, Michael’s just Gerry’s very weird uncle. Like. Very weird uncle. I wanna see some more art of Gerry and Michael but in this context please. It’s so funny to me.

[tmabutlesbian]

I posted 324 times in 2021

70 posts created (22%)

254 posts reblogged (78%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 3.6 posts.

I added 707 tags in 2021

#tma - 252 posts

#the magnus archives - 248 posts

#tmalesbeen talks - 64 posts

#not tma - 38 posts

#martin blackwood - 21 posts

#leblog - 19 posts

#tma fanart - 18 posts

#tma spoilers - 18 posts

#gerry keay - 15 posts

#the magnus archives fanart - 14 posts

Longest Tag: 135 characters

#just casually asked me 'so any girls to keep you company this christmas break?' and i went 'nope it was pretty boring' and she moved on

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

may i interest you in some... timgerry?? hmm??? (im still working on Tim ‘cause i did use references but somehow he doesn’t. look like he’s supposed to??? anyways i like his anatomy here it looks good)

also this is supposed to be in my magic au but you don’t need to see it as such dw.

(image description: black and white drawing of Timothy Stoker and Gerard Keay. Tim’s afro-brazilian and thai man with mid toned skin, cropped short dark hair, a slight beard, circular earrings and a white tank top. He’s turned to the right and he’s kissing Gerry’s jaw, which is out of view from the viewer so Tim’s nose and mouth do not appear. His right hand is lightly gripping Gerry’s jaw + neck, and his blushing. Gerry is a white man with long pale hair at the roots and the rest is dyed black. He has prominent eye bags, two thin scars on his nose bridge and across his right cheek, which is slightly out of view because he’s head is turned a bit to the left. He has multiple piercings: a septum piercing, a bottom lip ring, a vertical labret, a smiley piercing, a nose bridge piercing, a ring piercing on his right eyebrow, and a curved barbell on his left eyebrow. Gerry is smiling wide and he’s blushing. His neck tattoo that looks like an eye is partly obscured by Tim’s hand, and Gerry’s wearing a black t-shirt.) end description

97 notes • Posted 2021-01-23 17:09:43 GMT

#4

have a page full of gerrys for your soul!! needed to get his face to. exist, i guess. needed to train it. i rly like that happy gerry in the corner (i drew him having good hair days cause its what he deserves)

(id: a black and white watercolor page of 4 drawings of Gerard Keay from The Magnus Archives. Gerard is a white man with long black messy hair, light colored eyes, a slightly crooked nose, and with 2 scars, on across his right cheek and another on the bridge of his nose. He has a piercing on each eyebrow, a bridge piercing, a septum piercing, 2 lip piercings, and another on the inside of his upper lip; he also has several earrings. He has a neck tattoo of a stylized eye. In the top left corner, Gerry is disgruntled and he's wearing a black sweater, black coat, and a necklace. Top right corner, it's his side profile, his hair is up in a messy bun, he's smoking, his face is neutral and he's wearing a black turtleneck. Bottom left corner, he's smiling very wide, he's wearing a white sweater, he has a cigarette between his teeth, and his hand is slightly visible. Bottom right corner, he looks confused/not amused by something off camera, and he's wearing a v-neck black shirt with a fishnet shirt underneath. end id)

100 notes • Posted 2021-03-22 11:02:47 GMT

#3

he is pocket sized canonically and so I’m gonna abuse the FUCK outta that information

mike crew everybody

(if my design is somehow offensive in ANY WAY, please do tell me, I am not joking, last thing i want is to offend anyone with my art, thank you anyways!)

139 notes • Posted 2021-01-08 00:08:38 GMT

#2

ok. so.

GERRY???????

368 notes • Posted 2021-02-15 23:17:24 GMT

#1

i have this lil hc that. in those statements where gerry makes an appearence all ended up being bad hair days. he'd be so frustrated. can you imagine gertrude's like:

'oh hey there's a statement here with you on it. Tall goth with badly dyed hair-'

'FUCKING HELL! i ran out of dye that day okay! fuck. what- you think it's easy to dye all of this hair? It's not! It's really not! 'badly dyed hair' i'd like to see them dye this hair without enough hair dye! fucking-'

'gerard please-'

'NO. the other statement with me on it they said the same thing! not my fault that the nearest dye shop didn't have my usual one! i had 2 very different blacks on my hair. It was infuriating to look at. Fuck!'

'and there's still some spots you missed, you can clearly see them when you put your hair up-'

'OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE-'

i just think id be hilarious.

466 notes • Posted 2021-04-09 21:44:00 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[tmabutlesbian]

so since its canon that 1) Sasha’s stupid reckless, and 2) Martin literally almost touched a fucking explosive (and I’m pretty sure he’s done similar things to this? but I can’t remember them oops), we can conclude that: Jon and Tim, despite their very different personalities n such, would not die stupidly in a horror movie. Sasha and Martin, who might be smart but lack a considerate amount of common sense when the question “Is this safe to interact with?” is asked, would definitely be the characters to hear a creepy sound and go straight towards it, no braincells on sight, and die stupidly in the first 30 minutes or so in the movie. They are smart and dumb.

[tmabutlesbian]

when i first started drawing here and i made that jon,,, drawing,,, thing idk, the s5 jon has no glasses and that’s because, at the time, i saw lots of ppl designing him like that and i went ‘neat’, but after some months and after learning some shit, i’ve realized that’s kinda ableist BUT i do like how he looks so, only logical solution: his glasses fucking broke when he started the eyepocalypse. Martin got lucky and only got some cracks but jon’s totally fucked, poor boy, he’s always squinting now, everywhere he goes...

[tmabutlesbian]

I am in fierce denial that Gerard’s name is pronounced ‘Jared’. Everytime I come across this information, this fact, I pretend that is non-existential and go on with my day.

[tmabutlesbian]

Guys

Guys

GUYS

Jason Derulo and Eric Delano have the exact same amount of syllables

[tmabutlesbian]

hi there,i also want agnes to h*ld my h*nd

let’s yearn together then, friend

[tmabutlesbian]

since my sis has been playing tlou2 I’ve been thinking: is a corruption ritual basically a zombie apocalypse? Idk, it kinda tracks. Discuss.