#tlou jesse imagine

[breathinlove]

glue ellie williams imagine

read this

sinopse: you might have a crush on your friend, college!au

cw: swearing, basically fluff, ellie plays soccer, puppy love again because that's my thing, slightly nerdy loser!ellie, reader and ellie are oblivious, not explicit if reader is fem or masc, not exactly proofread.

it was a nice day, the sun gently hitting your face after a week of chilly wind and winter complaints from everyone. you were leaving your last morning class. you walked happily towards the college cafeteria, a thing that no one was ever happy to do. you feel hot on your back, your black jacket heating from the sun but you refuse to take it off and feel the chilly wind.

everything was going as smoothly as it could today. you had worries but the sun was nice and warm on your skin… as you walked you saw her. you saw ellie williams, and like this day, she was golden. a golden soccer player, the best player in your opinion, that's for sure. she walked over to you, that wasn't unusual.

“hey, sup?” she nudged your shoulder to catch your attention, unaware she already had all of it.

she had big green piercing eyes below her eyebrow slit and. you stared for a bit, that wasn't unusual either. she had a mid-sleeve blue shirt that left her tattoo slightly covered. she just waited for you to talk, as she always did, looking down and fidgeting with her fingers. you walked side by side.

“cafeteria?” you point towards the way to the cafeteria, the one you and ellie had been taking for a month now . she hums in agreement.

you met ellie in this same situation, her in front of you, the last ones in the line at the cafeteria. a guy, jesse, walked over to her, jumping the line. she called him out with a few chuckles and he apologized, telling you he just wanted to talk to her. she asked you to sit with her that day.

now, you're in the same line. her in front of you and no jesse to jump the line, but you're gonna sit with her again. the food was not appealing, but the company was great. that was something you and ellie agreed on but kept unspoken.

she's waiting for you to finish putting your food on the tray, so you can walk to the table. ellie looks at you over her shoulder and as soon as you're next to her she's sticking her hand out to your arm, you flinch slightly. ellie was more touchy than you.

“you're quiet.” she fixes your school bag's strap on your shoulder, her tattoo peeking out of her navy sleeve. her cold fingers touch a little of your collar.

“yeah?” you shrugged. “so are you anyway.” she took a breath and shrugged too, sitting down at the right corner table. that wasn't unusual at all.

“do you have any projects coming up?” ellie says as she sits down, she brushes a strand of her hair out of her face. you nod and she hums. “knew it. ya need any help?”

ellie was always the friend to help out in any way, she felt good doing it and she wanted her friends to succeed so if she could help, she would in a heartbeat.

“you wanna help me?” your pupils dilated and ellie noticed.

“no…i mean, yeah i do. you know i do.” she shook her head no, then nodded yes. she's a rambling mess and you just stare and it's making her stumble over her words. “come over after my practice.”

“‘kay.” you try to hold back a smile and you look at your food, the sun is warm and so are you. you thanked god she asked you to come over for a study sesh. you'd take any opportunity to see her and she'd always ask.

ellie was somewhat popular for playing on the soccer team. you had a separate friend group but sometimes people meet randomly and they just click. like you and ellie. you had met jesse when you met ellie, and you eventually met dina and ellie met your roommate but you never really hung out with other people.

you had been friends for a while, lunches in the cafeteria, study sessions, and dorm visits were what your friendship was about and you took every opportunity to see each other. you were getting ready to leave when niyah, your roommate and closest friend spoke out.

“you going to ellie's?” you smile in that certain way and niyah doesn't need an answer anymore.

“she's gonna help me with my project.” you sit down to put on your shoes, checking the time on your phone.

“again? you say she's a nerd and i'm starting to believe you.” and you're nodding.

“she is.” you chuckle. “so smart and a fucking geek!”

“alright, have fun studying i guess…”

“stop, i will. it's fun with her.” niyah mocks you, you throw a hat from the wall hooks at her and leave the room.

you walk a little bit until you get to ellie's dorm. the door is unlocked, as usual when you're coming over and you want to scare her.

“aaaaa…ha!” you yell as you go in, only to find out she isn't inside. you feel stupid and you giggle to yourself.

you sit on her neatly done bed, next to her dinosaur plushie and you text her ‘where are you’ ‘i was finna jumpscare you and no one was here… mad embarrassing’. you sighted, she was never late to see you.

ping! ellie replied ‘omw coach had us doing an extra today” you smile and ping! “i even left without a shower so i wouldn't be so late 💔” you replied “ig it didn't work”. you're waiting for a reply but soon enough you see a sweaty ellie coming into the room, soccer jersey still on.

“oh my god, intruder!” she faked a scare and you furrowed your eyebrows as in ‘you're not funny’. “what? you said you were gonna scare me so…”

“whatever.” you stay on your phone replying to some of your friends’ texts and she pulls it away, wearing a childish smile on her dumb face. some hair stuck sweaty on her forehead and her cheeks were flushed.

“you came here to work, not play on your phone!” she laughs and you cross your arms over you chest. you don't even bother reaching out for your phone.

“you still have to take a shower so…”

“do i?” she shrugs and you look disturbed, furrowing your eyebrows.

“ewwwwww, yes you do smelly ellie.” you laugh and she furrowed her eyebrows in that same ‘you're not funny’ way. the truth is, you find each other hilarious.

“fine, wait here.” she says before grabbing some clothes from her drawers and her towel. “gonna shower real quick, and… and we can start.” you hum and nod.

she goes to the bathroom and you stay on your phone texting niyah and some other friends while she's not back. you get anxious at the image of her in her sweaty jersey for some reason and if you took your eyes off your phone you'd stare. but now it isn't any better, she's coming in with fresh clothes, smelling as good as ever and with water drops on her hair.

“hey… you didn't take out your stuff yet?” she coughs, sitting on the bed too. you shake your head and she hums negatively as to scold you.

you don't take them out and she stays quiet while you stay completely still. when you decide to reach for your bag that you had previously thrown next to the bed, you knee nudges hers. she retracts instantly, making you lift your head to face her. book and laptop in hand.

you stare, as you feared you would before. she knows she's gonna stutter so she decides to stay silent. she blinks softly, eyes still piercing yours.

“it's a questionnaire about a documentary. so maybe this wasn't a good idea.” you hold your book and laptop closer to your lap.

“w-why is it not?” she stuttered and she wanted to leave, but it's her dorm room.

“because… you'd have to have watched it to help me reply so it's dumb.”

“we can watch it, and then we reply.” she reaches for the laptop you had in your lap.

“uhh… it's 3 hours long.” you chuckle and she scoffs in disbelief. “yeah…”

“why did you want help then?” she moves further onto the bed, turning her body to face you, holding your shoulder so you do the same, you comply.

“dunno. i just… i didn't think of what project it was, to be honest. i just wanted… this i think.” you look around, emphasizing the ‘this’ as you do.

“to come over?” you shrug before nodding. “could've just said that. ya know? not your tutor, i'm your friend.”

“i know… but i dunno, i like hearing you talk and you talk and talk when you're helping me and…” you stop yourself and she's beet-red.

“you ask for my help because you… you wanna hear me talk? sorry wait…?” she's convinced she misheard you or just misunderstood what you said. you're scared she might think you're weird or something.

“i guess so, but you're also really smart.” you try to hold back a smile again, and you look down. ellie wants to see you but she doesn't want you to see her blushed cheeks.

“makes sense, sorry if it seemed like that was the only way we could hang. ‘cause that's not true…. we can just hang out y'know?” you listen to her rambling, keeping your head down. she's done talking and you're silent. “can… can you look at me for a sec?”

and you do. what are those? are those your eyes? where's your iris? big ass dilated pupils. ellie chuckles.

“what?” you lean to put your laptop and book back in your bag and as soon as you do ellie holds your chin.

“you like it when i talk?” you blink a few times. “hm?” she insists and you nod. she stays quiet so you feel like you have to say it.

“i do. why?” you breathe so heavily that she feels your body alive against her fingers that she holds against your chin. her stomach twisted, she lost her words.

both were silent, her hand on your chin dropped and you were going to look away but she spoke again.

“‘cause… i like it when you look at me.” she's now fidgeting with her fingers against her lap again, eyes trying to not leave yours, she wouldn't wanna miss any expression of yours.

“sorry.” you try not to look away too. “i know i should look-”

“yeah, keep them on me.” she interrupts with a chuckle and your heart skips a beat. hers is fast. you chuckle back. “wh-what do you wanna do then?”

“just hang, like you said?” you finally move your body again, moving one of your legs onto the bed. she nods, and she notices you kept eye contact.

“yes.” she vocalized. “course.” a strand of wet hair is stuck on her forehead and you itch to move it around.

“why did the coach have you guys doing extra today?” you remember to ask.

“it was just me and dina, we were late.” she laughs and another strand of hair falls forward as she lowers her head. your hand trails off but you hesitate. “what?” she noticed you didn't laugh and your hand's movement.

“you have hair here.” she laughs and you sigh. “here…” you brush the strands away from her forehead, she's choked up.

your eyes go down to hers and as soon as they pierce yours you're choked up too. she breathed out a “thanks.” and she accidentally touched your nose with hers because of the proximity.

“that was a kunik.” you smile and she pulls away softly.

“what do you mean?” she curled her lips up in a sweet smile.

“your nose on mine.”

“nose kiss is cute.” she adds.

“mhm, i think so too.” you agree, palming your jeans. your hands were clammy and you wanted to take off your jacket and ellie seemed to read your mind.

“you're hot?” you furrow your eyebrows at first until you nod and take off your jacket. “glad you know.” now she's holding back a smile when you do too.

“uhm… today's warm.”

“are you really talking about the weather right now?” she laughs at your conversation attempt and you slap her arm.

“it's not like that… it's actually nice and warm today.” you giggle. “i was thinking about it.”

“right… right… it's true, it is warm.” she surrenders to your true statement. “it's nicer to practice like this, makes you feel more energetic.”

“plus made you sweat so hard.” you laugh, remembering the state she was in.

“naaah, it's always like that, but coming back here speeding wasn't as refreshing as the walks when it's colder” she emphasizes speeding and glares harder at you with a grin.

“hey! i didn't ask you to speed here!” you smile, she mirrors that. your smiles fade away with the silence that settles again. you were about to speak again when ellie beat you to it.

“i don't like being late.” she moves around to lie down next to your sat figure.

“you were just laughing about being late.” you start laughing, looking at her almost over your shoulder.

“about being late for practice, not about being late to see you.” she chuckles and you grin. she rolls her eyes, knowing what to expect from you.

“oooh because i'm just sooo more important.” you turn to her, leaning on the bed with your hands, closer to her face now.

“yeah right… you're just scarier than the coach.” she laughs but she stops drastically, serious expression. “it's your face. scary as shit i swear to god.”

“ooooh really?” you chant coming even closer.

“yeah keep that face away…” she acts frightened, one hand on top of her head and the other between your faces to keep you away. you lean even closer and you're both giggling “help!” even closer, giggles and chuckles alive.

“you're done for!” you come closer, face hitting her hand, that just holds your cheek.

you're still laughing and she's grabbing your face with both hands, pretending to scream in fear as you laugh into her face. you're almost on top of her and as soon as you touch, her eyes soften and you stiffen. the laughter is gone and long forgotten.

“nose kiss again?” she blurted out incoherently and you shifted, her hand slid to your neck, you felt hot again but now you didn't have a jacket to strip out of.

“what?” you crawl closer to settle where you were. your heart raced just like ellie's, even if you didn't know hers did. “ellie…” you start, not moving an inch away or closer, her head already lifted off the bed. her hand on your neck pulls you closer until your noses touch again.

“there, nose kissed.” she smiles. you let go of the breath you didn't realize you were holding. she moves her nose against yours. breathing against each other's faces.

[k0juki]

♡¸.•*'K0juki's Masterlist'*•.¸♡

Last update: 21. 8. 2024

Requests are OPEN!

Rules

Kimi Räikkönen

• Bodyguard!Kimi

• It's just a vase

• Such a tease *

• Race day

• Finnish

• She fell first, he fell harder trope

• You did great

• His girl

• Birthday boy

Mick Schumacher

Mafia!Mick Schumacher

• Mafia!Mick Schumacher

Charles Leclerc

• Charles dating girl who smokes

• "I believe you"

Max Verstappen

• Mafia!Max headcanons

Mafia!Max Verstappen

• Mafia!Max headcanons

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• Carneval night

Lando Norris

Vampire hunter x vampire

• You don't wanna dance?

Joost Klein Eurovision

• Just be yourself

• That's what I like * /favorite/

• Jealous

• Joost's return

• Where have you been?

• Enjoying this moment *

• Wolf in sheep's clothing

• Kisses and cigarettes

• Good things take time /favorite/

Headcanons

• Dating Joost Klein hc.

• Cuddles

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Blurbs

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Ski Aggu

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Tyler Harrison (Alien: Romulus)

• it's waiting outside

Baby Lasagna Eurovision

Nothing yet...

Luke Castellan

Nothing yet...

Jesse tlou2

• Burned cake

Formula 1 Jesse

• F1 Jesse

Peter (red riding hood 2011)

Nothing yet...

Liam Stewart

• Nothing to worry about

Headcanons

• Sleepy headcanons

Samuel "Sam" Witvicky

(Transformers)

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Will add more🩷

---

Kind anons here!

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• 14. 5. 2024

My favourite Quotes

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Writing tips

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[megalomaniacz]

SWEET TOOTH - sugar 🥥🍨

* 𓇼🫧. ° synopsis: a follow from a cute stranger on the internet upends your life in ways you never expected.

*🎐 ೃ ༄.° authors note: first part! so exciting. please like & comment and tell me all ur opinions about it so far!

꒰ 🥥 ꒱ؘ ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟmasterlist

[nickeverdeen]

Can you write an imagine for jesse from the last of us pls?🙌🏻 So, I've been watching these videos of sexy guys on motorcycles like this one here https://www.instagram.com/reel/C53ki6gItdc/?igsh=em1hMzN6Z2ZyZ29u (shame on me, I know🤭) and I thought "an imagine about motorbiker!jesse AU???". So, fem!reader is a bit tipsy after saying goodbye to her friends on the local bar, and when she gets out of the there, she sees a stray cat walking onto the road just as a motorbike is about to pass at high speed, so she runs (practically jumps) in the road to get the cat, making jesse stop his motorcycle abruptly. At first, he's a bit angry someone did such a dumb move (he had a bad day, he's already stressed) but after taking his helmet off and taking a brief look at reader, he notices she's kind of disoriented/drunk-ish and that's why she didn't think twice before doing such a thing (as much as her intentions were good), so he softens a bit. He parks his motorbike and gets out of it to help reader to get out of the street (and from the few angry drivers in other cars complaining). I just think it would be so cute to see jesse being so nice with reader, talking to her (slowly falling in love too) and making each other laugh while he waits for her ride with her to make sure she doesn't do anything inconsequential again (even if she says she's fine). I like the concept of guy that looks like a badboy but is actually a chill dude.

Midnight rescue | Motorbiker!Jesse x fem!reader

Warning: Alcohol, near death experience, one cuss word

PS: I absolutely love this idea, thanks so much for requesting it.

———————————————————

The bar’s neon sign flickered against the darkness, casting a wavering glow over the dimly lit street. Inside, the remnants of laughter and conversations faded as the night wore on. You stumbled slightly as you exited, waving goodbye to your friends, your mind buzzing pleasantly from the drinks you’d had. It was a rare night out, and you were savoring the last moments of your tipsy haze.

As you stepped onto the sidewalk, you noticed a small movement near the curb. A stray cat, thin and scruffy, was cautiously making its way towards the road. Your heart melted at the sight, and without a second thought, you crouched down, calling softly to the feline.

“Hey there, little guy,” you cooed, extending a hand.

The cat hesitated for a moment before inching closer. Just as you were about to scoop it up, the roar of a motorcycle echoed down the street. Your head snapped up, eyes widening as you saw the bike speeding towards you two. Panic surged through your alcohol-clouded mind, and you acted on pure instinct.

You darted into the street, practically diving to snatch the cat out of harm’s way. The screech of tires was deafening, and the smell of burnt rubber filled the air. The motorcycle came to an abrupt halt mere inches from where you stood, cradling the frightened cat in your arms.

“What the hell?!” The rider’s voice was sharp, laced with irritation. He removed his helmet, revealing a head of dark, tousled hair and a pair of intense, dark eyes that seemed to bore into your soul.

For a moment, you were too stunned to respond, your heart pounding in your chest. The rider dismounted, his leather jacket creaking as he moved. He was tall, with a lean, muscular build that spoke of both strength and agility. Despite the initial anger in his voice, there was a hint of concern in his eyes as he approached you.

“Are you crazy? You could have gotten yourself killed!” he exclaimed, his tone softening slightly as he noticed the dazed look in your eyes.

You blinked, trying to process his words. “I… I’m sorry,” you stammered, still clutching the cat. “I didn’t mean to… I just didn’t want the cat to get hurt.”

Jesse sighed, running a hand through his hair. He had already been having a rough day, and this was the last thing he needed. But looking at the woman before him, clearly a bit tipsy and disoriented, he couldn’t bring himself to stay angry. Your good intentions, albeit reckless, were evident.

“Alright, alright. Come on, let’s get you out of the street,” he said gently, placing a hand on your arm to guide you back to the sidewalk.

As you both reached the safety of the curb, a couple of angry drivers honked their horns, yelling obscenities as they drove past. Jesse shot them a glare before turning his attention back to you.

“You okay?” he asked, his voice softer now.

You nodded, still holding the cat. “Yeah, I think so. Thank you for stopping. And sorry for… you know, almost getting run over.”

Jesse chuckled, shaking his head. “You’ve got guts, I’ll give you that. What’s your name, pretty girl?”

“Y/N” you replied, offering a small smile. “And you?”

“Jesse” he said, extending a hand. “Nice to meet you, Y/N. Even under these… shitty circumstances.”

You laughed, the sound light and genuine. “Yeah, I guess it’s not every day you meet someone like this.”

Jesse glanced at the cat in your arms, which was now purring contentedly. “You got a ride home? Someone to come get you?”

You hesitated, your mind still a bit foggy. “Uh, I was just going to call a cab, but I think my phone died.”

Jesse raised an eyebrow. “Tell you what, why don’t I call you an uber and wait with you until you get a ride? Make sure you don’t try to save any more cats.”

You blushed embarrassed, nodding gratefully. “That would be… really nice. Thanks.”

You both moved to a nearby bench, Jesse parking his motorcycle nearby. As you sat down, the cat curled up in your lap, Jesse couldn’t help but notice how you seemed to radiate warmth and kindness, even in your slightly inebriated state. It was cute.

“So, what’s a girl like you doing out this late, rescuing stray cats?” he asked, genuinely curious.

You shrugged, a wistful smile playing on your lips. “Just saying goodbye to some friends. It’s been a while since I went out. Needed a break, you know?”

Jesse nodded. “Yeah, I get that. Sometimes you just need to blow off some steam. Though I usually prefer doing that on my bike, not in bars.”

You looked at him, curiously. “You ride a lot?”

“Whenever I can,” he replied. “It’s a good way to clear my head. Feel the wind, the speed. It’s freeing.”

You sighed dreamily due to the alcohol in your system. “That sounds amazing. I’ve never been on a motorcycle.”

Jesse’s eyes twinkled with mischief. “Well, maybe someday you’ll get a chance, maybe I’ll let you be my backpack”

You continued to talk, your conversation flowing easily despite the unusual circumstances. Jesse found himself laughing more than he had in a long time, your stories and comments a welcome distraction from his stressful day. You, in turn, felt a surprising sense of comfort and safety in his presence.

As the minutes turned into an hour, Jesse’s initial frustration melted away completely. He couldn’t help but feel a growing admiration for you. You were brave, kind-hearted, and had a certain spark that drew him in.

“So, art college, huh?” Jesse asked, glancing at you.

You nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah, I’ve always loved drawing and painting. It’s my passion. I can’t wait to start.”

Jesse smiled, impressed. “That’s really cool. Takes a lot of guts to follow your passion like that.”

You blushed, looking down at the cat in your lap. “Thanks. It’s not always easy, but it’s worth it.”

You fell into a comfortable silence, the city’s noises fading into the background. Jesse glanced at his watch, noting the time.

“Your ride should be here soon,” he said softly. “You sure you’re going to be okay?”

You looked up at him, your eyes bright. “Yeah, I’ll be fine. Thanks for staying with me, Jesse. You didn’t have to, but… I appreciate it.”

Jesse shrugged, a warm smile on his face. “It’s no big deal. Just glad I could help.”

As your ride finally pulled up, you stood up, gently placing the cat down. You turned to Jesse, feeling a strange mix of gratitude and reluctance to say goodbye.

“Maybe I’ll see you around?” You said hopefully.

Jesse nodded, his smile widening. “Yeah, maybe you will.”

You gave him one last smile before getting into the car, the cat hopping in beside you. Jesse watched as you got drove away, a strange sense of contentment settling over him. He hadn’t expected his night to take such a turn, but he was glad it had.

As he mounted his motorcycle and put his helmet back on, Jesse couldn’t help but feel that this encounter was just the beginning of something new and exciting. And for the first time in a while, he felt a spark of hope and anticipation for what the future might hold. Maybe once he’ll see you and you’re not tipsy he’ll take you out for dinner

[mariatesstruther]

the last of us x hunger games au in which a young and rebellious ellie is chosen in place of katniss and mentored by joel, district 12’s one and only victor. he’s not at all interested in helping her, too busy being a dick, left cold jaded from his own daughter’s death in the games a few years prior

[softbeebee]

How would it be like dating Jesse (the last of us 2 / tlou2) (sfw) |

Jesse is a good boyfriend, always there for you and willing to sacrifice things if you need him.

He goes all out on date nights if he can, loves spoiling you however he can.

Whenever he goes out, patrolling brings back something for you, obviously after cleaning it up

He is very independent but loves when you cook or take care of him.

Jesse loves to cook. His mother, Robin, grew up teaching him some recipes and teaching him to cook. He cooks you meals more often than not.

He loves watching movies with you. He loves to hold you and snuggle close throughout. If it is a horror movie, that is a bonus.

The two of you might meet through a mutual friend or being paired on patrols. He is a pretty popular guy and is known about town as well as is trusted by most. If it is a modern-day setting, you might meet through the same way or maybe through work such as coworkers to one another.

He would make sure to spend time together and alone, understanding that the constant time together as a couple can be tiring.

However, Jesse can be clingy at times. Such as he prefers to sleep with your back against his body and cuddling into him.

He loves when you play and touch his hair, if you do that while laying down he might fall asleep.

More than likely, he will show you off at the dances and make sure everyone knows how lucky he is to be with you.

More than likely might adopt some animal babies such as a dogs or cats, even a mix of both.

He would go anywhere with you, even outside of Jackson. He is committed to the end of time, a polite yet humorous and trusted boyfriend overall.

Jesse is a big and little spoon, can swap between while snuggling/cuddling with you.

If it rains, he brings you out in the rain and will mess about it in it.

Jesse will cover you with kisses before he goes out onto patrol, he loves you dearly.

He will do self care days with you, learn how to make homemade masks, massage you, and more. Jesse is happy to do so.

If you get sick, stay with you despite the chance he might fall ill. He takes care of you, showers you with care and love, and then makes your favourite soup/meal.

[soulofapatrick]

Beer and Books - Tommy Miller x reader

Summary: Tommy and Joel come to yours for dinner and Tommy overheard you and Joel talking about your crush on him

Words: 2.5k

Warnings: age gap relationship (15 years)

Y/N’s POV

“No fucking way! You didn’t?!” Dina laughs as Ellie tells us about how she got to shoot Tommy’s rifle with the scope and all. We’re spread around my small living room in my flat Tommy kindly gave me when I came to Jackson, returning Jesse his younger brother. That’s how the three of them all became my best friends. I found Malachai injured and left for dead by the fireflies and took him in, heading to Jackson where he was reunited with Jesse. 

Ellie’s sat in the armchair, a leg up with her head resting on her knee while Dina’s laying out on the floor, her head in Malachai’s lap and Jesse and I are on the sofa. I have my legs thrown across Jesse’s lap as we all have a few beers on the table between us, telling our stories of whatever we can think of. They’re all a little younger than me but that doesn’t seem to bother any of them, Dina being the biggest age gap to me of six years and Jesse being the closest with just under 2 years. Malachai tags along and without being rude to him he doesn’t count as he’s 13 and isn’t allowed to do anything other than go to school. He’s got a soda instead of beer even though he complained about that. 

“What was it like?” Jesse asks Ellie, taking a swig of his beer, eyes bright and slightly glazed from the alcohol. 

“It was fun! The range is fucking amazing, I was shooting infected from across the ravine.” 

“Across?!” Dina’s voice gets higher in surprise and I just listen, wishing I didn’t know how to do any of the hunting tricks and lessons they’re being taught. I wish they didn’t have to learn and that I didn’t have to worry when they go off on their patrols and I’m still stuck here because of an injury from an ambush a few weeks ago. Hunters got a jump on us after somehow finding out our patrol routes, we lost a kid no older than Jesse and I’ve been banned from patrol for two more weeks by Maria. 

Malachai catches my gaze across the room and send him what I hope is a comforting smile but the others seem to have picked up on the mood shift between us as we both remember how much damage a rifle can do up close. 

“What was it all like before the outbreak?” Ellie ask, turning her head to face me changing the subject. The four of them watch me as I take a sip of my beer thinking back the best I can as I was five when the outbreak happened so everything’s now fuzzy. 

“I barely remember it all,” I sign lightly, Jesse squeezing my ankle, “I was five when the outbreak happened and my parents tried to keep the world normal for me and my siblings as we were too young to experience any of that.” 

“You had siblings?” It’s Dina’s turn to pipe up, Jesse staying quiet as he knows. I felt telling Jesse everything was the right thing after bringing Malachai back to him as he wanted to know why I did it. Why I took a random kid in when they could have been a trap or anything but in honesty I saw a lot of my younger brother in Malachai and I had just lost Shep so I needed someone. It started off as selfish reasons to keep Malachai with me but then becoming friends with him and protecting him it became more than that. 

The knock at the door has Dina and Ellie scrambling to hide their beers but not quick enough because Tommy and Joel are stepping inside. Joel’s got that dad scowl on his face when Ellie shoves her beer in my hand and smiles at her adopted dad as innocently as possible. Dina just stands there, caught halfway between the kitchen and living room on her way to put her beer back in my fridge. 

“Home, all of you.” Joel’s voice is stern and gruff and the four of them are scrambling out the door, calling goodnights and good lucks to me, Tommy and Joel before they disappear. Joel shuts the door behind them and puts his pack down, heading directly for the kitchen to search for food to put together while Tommy kicks off his boots and throws his pack with Joel’s then collapses on the sofa with me. 

I’ve gained quite the reputation in Jackson for being the person you can go to if you need to talk or just don’t want to be alone which means my house is always busting, except when they’re on patrol. If I’m not on patrol and none of my friends are about I’ usually the babysitter, loving have them toddle their way around the house and soothing them when they’re sad just to hear that contagious laugh all babies have. 

“Rough patrol?” I ask as Tommy lays a cushion on my lap then lays his head on the cushion, groaning with every movement so I card my hands through his sandy hair relishing in the quiet sounds he makes. 

“Fucking bloaters.” Joel grumbles, having started cooking something for all three of us. He’s a fucking amazing chef and I live for the days he decides to cook at mine or brings over left overs. He’s the parental figure I lost at the same time as being an older brother figure which always confuses me because how can a man of so few words represent both. 

“I can hear you thinking.” Tommy slaps my leg gently and I can’t help but let out a soft laugh, feeling that boyish grin shape his words. He just lets out a tired sound before speaking again, “We found you some more books to read.”

Ever since the brothers heard me reading to Nancy’s kid they have been obsessed with my story telling and are always finding me books to read to them and the kids. On evenings like this after they’ve had a gruelling patrol they’ll crash at mine. Joel will cook us something to eat because god forbid Tommy steps foot in the kitchen. That man can set fire to food just my looking at it I swear, absolutely hopeless in the cooking department he is. So Joel will cook us dinner, we’ll eat and then I’ll read to them from one of the books they find me or I’ll just reread a book they’ve heard before. Then most nights Joel will drag himself home while Tommy will sometimes crash on my couch if he’s too tired to move which it seems like is going to happen tonight. 

“You and Jesse seem close.” Joel states after a while of comfortable silence, the only sounds being the pot of boiling whatever and Tommy soft snores as he’s already passed out on my lap, “He your type?”

“Oh god no, he’s cute yes but Joel, he’s my best friend and definitely not my type.” I reply, knowing exactly what my type is as they’re currently asleep in my lap. The knowing smirk on Joel’s face as he glances back says that he also knows so I speak again, “Anyway, I think we both know what and who my type is and he only seems to have eyes for Maria.” 

“That we do girlie, that we do.” Joel muses before grabbing three bowls from the cupboard, pouring what I’m guessing is either soup or stew into them and man it smells fucking amazing. Not sure what he used but I know he’ll replace it and restock my fridge when it gets low however I’m not sure he’ll be getting me any more alcohol after earlier, “Do you want to wake him?” 

I gently shake Tommy’s shoulder, hearing him groan a little as he stirs and buries his face in the cushion so I caress his cheek gently trying to wake him gently. He mumbles something incoherent before he’s rolling onto his back and eyelids fluttering open to reveal his sleep glazed jade eyes. He blinks hard once more before he smiles lazily up at me, “Hi there sunshine.” 

“Dinner.” Joel breaks the moment, placing the bowl on the table and Tommy’s climbing to his feet. He grabs my hands suddenly and pulls me to my feet, causing me to shriek and stumble into his solid chest which causes a laugh to bubble up while Joel mutters something about us being children before we’re joining him at the table. 

The brothers spend dinner telling me all about the migrating infected and how they came across two bloaters with a bunch of clickers near the ski lodge that were an absolute bitch to kill. Apparently Tommy got thrown off his horse and so they had to spend another half an hour trying to catch her before they started to head back. There were more infected closer to town so they had to get rid of them, they were runners so a little easier to deal with. Finally they go back and had to report back to Maria. 

Maria Jackson. Very funny as she runs the settlement that is Jackson. Scary woman at first but is probably the best person for the job with the brothers as her left and right hand men. Maria Jackson. The woman I envy because it seems she’s captured Tommy’s heart with the way he’s always by her side and they share whispered conversations in the Tipsy Bison. 

Joel’s nudging me with his foot under the table and I snap back to now, realising they’re looking at me with expectant looks. They’ve been talking to me this whole time and I’ve not been hearing a word of it because of the green eyed snake that is envy. Joel huffs lightly and Tommy just shakes his head in amusement as the two go back to their conversation. I try to listen but I can’t focus on anything except the way Tommy’s feet are tangling themselves with mine.

We soon finish and Tommy’s washing up while Joel and I head back to the living room. I settle back into my spot on the sofa, the cushion on my lap again while Joel rummages through their packs until he stands up with a triumphant sound and two worn out books in his large hands, “Here you go girlie.” He hands them to me before practically collapsing in the armchair. It amuses me how alike Joel and Ellie are, always choosing that chair out of any in the room. 

Tommy soon joins us, retaking the position he was in before and I open the first book: Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone. A classic in my opinion and I’m sad we never get to see how the series ends as she had only released four books of the supposed six or seven seeing as each books follows an academic year for Harry. It’s a beautiful series full of magic and hope which is what we need in a world like this one currently. Not so much a shame the author got infected as I heard she wasn’t the best person but I was too young to know why so each to their own opinions I guess. 

I must have fallen asleep reading because I’m awoken by a heavy but comforting weight on my chest, blearily opening my eyes to see a mop of familiar sandy hair on my chest. Oh. Tommy’s stirring, arms around me tightening as he yawns and looks up at me from where we’re laid out on the couch. 

“Morning sunshine.” He smiles sleepily, raising himself onto his hands either side of my head in a weird back arched stretch. It steals the breath from my lungs because his face is so close I could kiss him but I don’t, instead I reach a hand up and run my fingers over his short beard. His hair has gotten longer over the last few months and that coupled with the beard has given him a deliciously rugged look. It makes me weak at the knees and I’ve spent nights wondering how that beard would feel against my thighs as he- “Take a picture darling, might last longer.”

His lips barely brush mine before he’s climbing to his feet, stretching again to reveal lightly tanned skin and few wispy hairs of his happy trail, before shuffling to the kitchen with a knowing smirk on his face. Damn you Tommy Miller for being such a fucking tease and worming your way under my skin and into my bloodstream. So much so I jump up, stomping over to where he’s brewing some coffee for us and slam him into the counter. There’s that damn confident smirk on his face as he looks down at me, jade eyes full of amusement as I step as close as I can, pointing an accusing finger at him. Before I can utter a word he’s leaning down and sucking that finger into his mouth, stealing the air from my lungs again, before letting go with a pop. 

Tommy’s hands are suddenly gripping my thighs and I’m being sat on the counter, his frame snug between my legs as he brings his face so close to mine I can feel his breath fanning my lips and his nose bumps mine as he whispers, “It’s not Maria I have eyes for.” 

Oh. He heard that conversation. 

Suddenly, gentle lips are on mine and Tommy’s kissing me with a gun-calloused hand holding my cheek. It’s sweet and loving and nothing I expected from the flirty playboy that is Tommy Miller. It has me gripping his shirt in one hand while the other tangles in those sandy locks I have been waiting to pull and my legs wrapping around his waist to bring him closer to me. He smiles into the kiss before pulling away and resting his forehead against mine. 

“It has always been you Y/N. I have had my eyes on you since you road to town with Chai, all bloodied and bruised while that kid didn’t have a single scratch on him. I have wanted you since that barn dance in your fist week… I just…” He wets his bottom lip, “I thought you wanted Jesse. Not someone my age.” 

“You’re not an old man Tommy. I don’t care how much older you are than me, I love you.” 

His breath hitches before he’s surging forwards into a much more urgent kiss that has me wanting more, so much more but those three words muttered back against my lips is enough for now. 

“I love you too.” 

[bambrinaa]

💌 helloooo and congratulations on being close to 200 followers!!! I'm gonna format this in a way that is hopefully easier to understand:

Character: Abby Anderson

Preferred name: Doe

Topic: ugh, a girlie is feeling positively STARVED of affection...how do you feel about writing a letter of Abby and reader in a long-distance relationship about Abby longing to visit her lover? I'm a bit of a romantic and adore cute nicknames (and it just so happens that @kittyt-hexxed had/has a headcanon list for them on Abby 👀), so if you could sprinkle some of those in, I'd greatly appreciate.

Pronouns: she/her

Don't hesitate to dm me if you need any other details!

My love, Doe

I simply cannot wait to see you..to kiss you..to hold you. only a couple more weeks and we can be together, sweetheart.

I'm coming home soon, and I'll be all yours. I've only thought about you on this trip, your voice, laugh, every beautiful thing about you.

I miss you so much baby, I don't think I'll ever be able to go on another trip like this again without you.

When I get home, I'm gonna take you on so many dates, get you breakfast in bed, whatever my girl wants. to make up for not being there.

Manny said he's okay with me taking 3 weeks off the job to spend time with you, so that's a plus. I'm always thinking about you,

today I found the most beautiful flower, I actually don't know what it's called but they reminded me of your eyes. I can't wait to see those beautiful eyes again.

I hope to receive a letter from you soon, darling.

I love you so much, baby. I'll see you soon. I promise. I'm proud of you.

Love from, abby. ♡

thank you so much for your request. I hope I did it justice! if not, lmk! lots of love.

If you'd like a love letter from your favourite character, my 200 celebration post is still happening for another three days! :)

[always-andromeda]

𝐝𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐝

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 ⟡ Ellie Williams x F!Reader

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 ⟡ 1232

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 ⟡ You and Ellie enjoy an all-too-rare "quiet" moment with each other.

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 ⟡ soooo...this is my first time writing something for Ellie...please be gentle lmao. I decided to be a little easy on myself and start off with something light with absolutely no plot. Just pure, fluffy porn. That being said, I want to add that from this point onwards, anything I write based in the TLOU universe, I will be including links on what we can do to aid Palestine. From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free.

HOW YOU CAN HELP PALESTINE

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 ⟡ smut (minors, do not interact, please and thank you), reader has no physical description aside from being afab and able-bodied, fingering (reader receiving), oral (reader receiving), pet names (babe, baby), slight overstimulation, general softness, nothing else I can think of!

Early mornings suit you, Ellie decides. Especially when it's all cold and quiet and blue light as a thin layer of frost covers the outside of the window by her bed. You're both thankful that it obscures the view of any eyes that may have been peeking into Ellie's garage.

They would've seen you sprawled out on her mattress and Ellie slotted firmly between your legs, paying all sorts of attention to your thighs. And thank fucking god, you're the only one who can hear the filthy words that fall from that wonderful mouth of hers.

"You're so fucking soft, babe." Then she chuckles, "And so easy to work up."

Your thighs shiver with anticipation and you're far beyond the point of feeling any kind of shame about it. There's only urgency filling your chest as you hope that Ellie's teasing turns into something. It wouldn't be the first time that she'd spent so long on you that Jesse had to come and "wake her" for patrol.

Now that had been a special kind of torture: Ellie hoisting herself up off of you and yelling to Jesse that she'd be right out as she pulled on her hoodie and gathered her hair into a bun at the nape of her neck. She grabbed her backpack, kissed you on the forehead, and muttered, "See you tonight," with a cocky grin. Then she fucking left.

And you'd have to shake away whatever mounting pressure she'd built up inside of you and uncomfortably shuffle your way home in yesterday's clothes all while trying to avoid the watching eyes of Jackson's population. It felt like every ounce of deprivation was written on your face in those moments and you hated it.

So you thread a hand through her hair, gently urging her towards your cunt.

"Hey, hey, hey, I'm gettin' there," she teases and removes your hand.

“Now, please,” you whine.

But it’s no use. With a little laugh under her breath, she keeps peppering kisses along your bikini line. You know she relishes in it, listening to you gasp as she gets closer and closer to where you need her only to pull back moments before her lips could connect with your center.

She must be feeling nice this morning; she hasn’t admonished you for squirming or whining. Maybe it’s because she doesn’t have patrol today. Or maybe it’s because you spent hours after dinner the night prior relieving her stress as well. Or maybe it’s just the simple fact that quiet moments like these are rare. All you know is that you can handle it; you can handle her.

You ball up the sheets in your fists and adjust your hips ever so slightly, settling in for whatever Ellie has planned for you. She uses a finger to pull the thin cotton crotch of your underwear to the side and groans to herself.

She laughs, “I don’t even have to try and you’re soaked.”

You lift yourself up on your elbows to look down at her. “Imagine what would happen if you did try,” you quip.

“Tough talk for a girl in your position,” she says. Before you can give her another snarky reply, she licks a long stripe up the center of you. The sudden warmth is welcome but it still startles you. 

Ellie adds with a scoff, “Besides, I don’t need to imagine. I am well aware of what happens when I try.” With that, she eases a finger in you.

In and out, she patiently worked you open until asking, “Want another, babe?”

You give a breathy yes. A beat passes where you wait for her to request a please alongside it. But it never comes. She must be feeling really nice.

With a whine, you feel her slip that second finger in. She’s methodic, curling her lithe fingers with each pump and carefully itching an ache inside of you that begs to be scratched. Bit by bit, she only feeds the flame; only makes it climb higher and higher up your belly until it seems to burn at the back of your throat. That wet squelch between your legs intensifies as she fucks you faster. You let out a soft moan and Ellie curses under her breath.

“That’s right, baby. You’ve got it.”

You can’t quite see her expression but you can tell she’s got that smug smirk creeping across her face. It’s the face she makes when she can tell just how well she’s playing you.

Right then she decides to go for the kill. Her tongue flicks over your swollen clit in time with her scissored fingers and before too long, you’re chasing it. Rutting against her mouth, you follow that all consuming fire that burns away each and every one of your better senses. It craves nothing more than pleasure and the praise of the girl you love more than life itself.

Strangely, you don’t mind it. In another world, you could afford to be so needy and so selfish whenever you wanted. Perhaps that’s why you’re so drawn to the feeling now; to the fleetingness of it. It’s lightning in a bottle. And with the heat mounting, you feel ready to burst.

A string of wanton curses falls from your lips. Bones scorched with pleasure, you're quickly approaching the point where you’ll be nothing more than ash.

Ellie groans desperately against your cunt, “C’mon, give it to me. You’re almost there.”

That’s all you need to fall over the edge. You shatter as soon as your climax makes contact. You’re a mess of limbs. Legs wrapping around the woman attached to your cunt. Heels digging into her back, still chasing that endless more until it damn near hurts. Chest heaving as you start to realize that it never will be enough. But somehow, that’s alright. If it was enough, there’d be nothing left for her to give; nothing left to yearn. And you’d rather spend the rest of your life wanting her than wandering in oblivion.

Finally, the pleasure gets to be too much. You’re all but a pile of smoldering cinders, terrifyingly close to blowing away in the wind. You cry out and tap the side of Ellie temple, signaling the end of the

She quickly obliges and switches to pressing gentle kisses to your mound between whispered praises. Hands gripping your thighs, her thumbs swirl soothing circles to your trembling flesh. Her kisses work their way up your belly, between your breasts, across your collar, up to your lips.

“You alright?” she asks softly.

Your head still spins a bit but you manage a nod and a low hum which only makes her chuckle.

A thin layer of sweat on her forehead sheens in the light. The smattering of freckles you adore dance with the flush on her cheeks. Judging by the creases next to her eyes and the smile she wears, she’s languishing in how you look too.

“I sure did a number on you, huh?”

“A little,” you mutter. But you know you’re not fooling her.

Ellie settles at your side and weaves an arm behind your neck, loosely holding you to her. You stay like that for a few seconds; quietly intertwined.

You look up at her through your lashes and break the silence. “Love you, Els.”

She smiles and presses one last kiss to your nose. “Love you too, weirdo.”

[megalomaniacz]

A GIRL IS MISSING: LET THE DEAD BURY THE DEAD ❄️🧣⚰️

synopsis: someone left behind a beautiful corpse.

a/n: finally putting the mystery/thriller into this mystery/thriller fanfic wooo! if you wanna set the tone while reading: i listen to a lot of ethel cain and princess chelsea while writing this series!

masterlist

walking over to them felt like a juvenile attempt at making friends. your body clenched. sweat dripping down your neck and building at your hairline. teeth making crescents into the sides of your tongue. you appear before the three grievers and struggle between offering a smile or a handshake or both. you settle for an awkward wave. ellie is too busy comforting abby and they don’t notice you, but jesse does. he gives you a simple nod.

it’s interesting being this close to them. watching their dynamic. abby is completely torn in the way you’d imagine ellie should be. ellie is frowning but in the way you’d imagine jesse might be. jesse has the tear streaks you thought ellie would have. you take a deep breath, awaiting maria’s further instructions.

“alright and team 4,” she pauses looking over at their sad faces. “we’re going to have you guys search near the creek.”

you remember playing by that creek. using the water for mud pies and dirtying up your hands and clothes. coming home and getting lectured about it. getting asked about the stains at school. you were an explorer, an adventurer, and a creative out there. you’d hoped that time didn’t make all that wash away.

jesse drove. ellie took the passenger’s seat, fingers fiddling with a ring. a cursive letter d etched into a heart on top of it. abby sat in the back with you, her head looking outside the window. watching the life pass by.

you couldn’t stop yourself from trying to figure them out. which one was the last to see her? what did they talk about? what did she say? do any of them think she’s alive? are any of them hiding something? do they know where she is? did they kill her? are they planning on killing you now because they can tell you’re figuring them out?

“i can’t do this sober.” ellie breaks you out of your thoughts. you realize that you’ve already arrived at the creek. jesse pops open his glove box and pulls out a flask. your stomach sinks a bit, you feel guilty for being accusatory. even if it’s just in your head.

“one sip, each of us gets one,” he takes his. “but we need our heads on straight if we’re going to find her.” jesse hands it to ellie. she looks at him, a real mean piercing gaze. something crude on her tongue? she puts the flask to her lips and takes a sip, then holds her hand out back towards you.

you can’t refuse, it’d be rude. so you take it and take a sip, then you look over at abby. you’re scared to touch her. to scare her. to make her start crying again after she’s finally calmed down. it’s almost as if ellie can read your mind, she calls out abby’s name.

“what is it? oh, we’re already here? i zoned out.” she looks away from the window and you hold the flask out in front of her. jesse looks at her through his rearview mirror. “one sip. and make sure you’re wearing your gloves, you don’t need anymore bruises on your hands.”

she takes a sip. “because people get funny ideas?” she raises her eyebrows. saying it like it’s something we’re all supposed to know the answer to. like it’s a stupid question. jesse shakes his head. “no, because i care about you. but, you make a good point.”

“you’ve just been crying a lot.” ellie chimes up. “i thought you would’ve run dry yesterday, but you’re still crying.”

your eyes widen as you listen to them. attempting to decipher what all of this means. if what you were thinking earlier was true. if these would be your last moments alive, because now you certainly knew too much.

abby looks over at you. “do i cry too much? wouldn’t anyone cry this much if someone they cared about was gone?”

you open your mouth to speak but you’re interrupted. “you say that like she’s not gonna come back.” jesse grips the steering wheel.

“she didn’t fucking run away.” ellie scoffs, rolling her eyes. “cmon let’s go before we lose daylight.”

as you leave the car, you take a deep breath. the tension in that moment was rigid. suffocating. why were they arguing? is that normal? you’d never been alone with these three. you’d barely even had a conversation long enough to remember. you didn’t know these people. you didn’t know what you’d gotten yourself into by volunteering. you didn’t know what was going to happen at this creek.

“if we split up, we’ll cover more ground. do you know the creek well?”

it takes a moment before you realize jesse is talking to you. you nod, and he looks at ellie. “alright ellie, you go with her. i’ll go with abby. let’s meet back here in twenty minutes. i’m serious about that too, a storm’s coming.”

“well we never would’ve known, weather man. thank you.” ellie trudges towards you, wrapping her scarf around her face. jesse rolls his eyes before walking in the opposite direction with abby. you look over at ellie before gesturing your head forwards. you start walking ahead of her hearing her boots hit the snow behind you. then she speeds up and walks next to you. sniffling.

“didn’t you think abby was being weird back there in the car?” she starts. “i mean, it seems to me like she thinks i know something. like i’m hiding something because i’m not bursting into fucking tears every three seconds but…it’s not like i’m not sad. fuck.”

you nod along, pulling a flashlight out to get a better look at the ground. at any possible fresh track marks in the snow.

“i’m angry, at myself mostly. i’m fucking…scared. i miss my girlfriend.”

she looks over at you, and you nod. you don’t say anything you just nod. you let her know she’s understood.

the crack of a tree branch is heard closer to the deeper end of the forest. closer to the frozen over creek. you look at each other once before walking towards it. stomping on in the snow while periodically wiping at your nose.

when you reach where you can guess the sound came from, you hand ellie the flashlight. “here, hold it towards the water. there could be something around here.”

she does as you ask, holding it still so you can look. in all honesty, you were losing hope and just trying to pass the minutes by. it was fucking freezing, and from what you’d learned at the after-search meetings, dina was scared of this part of the woods. she wouldn’t come through here for a million dollars, jesse’s words verbatim.

“you know the police won’t even help out? they don’t think she’s missing. maria’s the only adult in this town who gives a fuck.” ellie chimes up as you wipe some snow off of a rock. you look back towards her, cough up into the icy air, then stand. “what about your uncle? isnt he on the force.”

she looks away for a moment. even though you can’t see her frowning you can tell from the sadness in her eyes. “i don’t wanna talk about it-“

a horrific and tragic scream is heard in the distance. the scream of a young woman. you both turn your heads towards it, then each other, before running to the commotion. it takes two minutes to get through the barren woods. ellie tripped once, and you twice, before coming across jesse and abby. abby is wailing, worse than she was in the church. worse than you’d ever seen her. you can almost hear ellie’s heart stop.

“els don’t look.” jesse grabs her before she can reach the scene. she’s beating against him with her hands, cursing harsh under the scarf. “what is it jesse? tell me what is it? what the fuck is going on?” her voice cracks and tears begin to fall as she falls into him.

you walk past abby, who’s on the ground holding her stomach. she pulls her scarf off and runs behind a tree. you can hear her throwing up. throwing up and crying.

you could’ve never guessed that you’d be seeing what you were right now. not in a million years. a bloody young woman who looked like she’d been ripped in half by some heinous creature. her insides on full display for you. her skin discolored. and the smell, it was god awful. and in what you could only guess was her hands, a heart necklace with the letter e in cursive etched into the front.

the worst part was that, from what you could make out, this was not dina. dina didn’t have the tattoos these remains had. dina didn’t have green eyes. so who the hell is this, and how did she get dina’s necklace?

[hiiikiko]

𝕗𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕟𝕕𝕤.. 𝕡𝕖𝕣𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕤 : [6]

“Good, cause I don’t wanna stop.”

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

ellie williams x fem!reader | friends with benefits

casual m.list | tlou m.list

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

The next morning when you arrived at work, Ellie had a shit eating grin plastered on her face. Your ears burned bright red as you avoided eye contact, you could already imagine what she was going to say. You didn’t know Ellie that well but you had grown accustomed to her sly and teasing remarks.

You made your way to the back room so you could get ready for your shift and of course, Ellie followed you in. You hoped this wasn’t going to be a regular thing..

“Don’t,” you said sternly as you shoved your heavy duffel into the tiny locker.

“What?” Ellie raised and eyebrow and her smirk grew wider as she caught a glimpse of your annoyed scowl, “I didn’t say nothin’, doll.”

You rolled your eyes as your tied your hair up, leaving your bangs out, “Just don’t Ellie, not today.”

Ellie watched as you struggled with the elastic, “Here.. let me.”

You sighed, defeated, “Fine, but don’t be getting any ideas.”

“I won’t, promise,” she smiled and took the elastic from you, putting it in between her lips as her calloused fingers brushed through your hair.

This was weird, you thought, the two of you aren’t dating but you sure as hell aren’t friends. The two of you should be rivals but here she is, gently putting your hair up in a ponytail..

“All done, doll.”

“Thanks,” you muttered as you inspected the ponytail in the mirror.

“Now, I scratched your back so you gotta scratch mine,” you groaned loudly, of course, like everything else with Ellie, there was a catch.

“No, no way.”

“Oh, come on! It isn’t a big favour..” she grabbed your hand as you tried to walk away, pulling you in between her legs, “Please?”

God damn it, how could you say no to her when she’s looking at you like that.. her pretty green eyes looking up at you through long, naturally curled lashes.

You look away, “Fine.. what is it?”

“Why’d you like my post?” her pink lips curled into that sly grin again.

She knew damn well what you were doing, why else would you be stalking her profile..but you would never admit to that so you decided to play dumb, “What post?”

Ellie rolled her eyes, “You know what I’m talkin’ about.. dont play stupid.”

“N-No I don’t.. I must’ve fallen asleep on my phone..”

Ellie knew that there was no way to get you to admit to it, “Fine, fine.. whatever you say, Y/n.”

You nodded and went back to trying to jam your duffel into the locker when you felt her strong hands on your waist and her breath on your neck, “Just know, you coulda had the real thing,” your face turned pink as you watched her exit the locker room.

Damn it.

The rest of your shift was pretty uneventful. The only thing worth while was when Manny came in to get a new guitar, he chatted to you about how the bartender at this bar across town is mad at him because apparently, he is infatuated with her sister, a waitress.

“That your band mate,” Ellie leaned against the counter as you wiped it.

“Yeah, that’s Manny, thought you knew him.. I mean they all seem to know you,” your giggle was ended abruptly as you met Ellie’s fierce gaze, “Uh, sorry..”

She smirked, “It’s fine, believe what you want.”

Ellie pushed herself off the counter and made her way back to her office and didn’t emerge until it was time to close shop.

The street lamps flickered in the background, Slowdive played over the speakers as the two of you moved around each other, straightening things up and counting out your drawer.

“Night,” you waved at Ellie, who’s back was turned from you, as you ventured into the cold, damp night.

“Hey, Jess, think you can pick me up? I don’t see any taxis.. pretty sure it’s too late for the buses too..oh.. uh, yeah.. yeah, sh-she’s here.. what?? No, Jesse sto—!”

Before you could tell Jesse not to ask Ellie if she could give you a ride, he hung up and then in the corner of your eye through the shop’s glass windows you saw her pick up her phone and nod.

A minute later, she locked up and had her worn out Carthartt jacket wrapped around her shoulders, “Come on, let’s get ya home.”

“Y-you don’t have to, uh, I could just call Abby or Man—.”

Ellie let out an exasperated sigh, “Just get in.”

You nod and hopped into her van, “Thanks.”

“Whatever, I owed Jesse one anyway.”

What the fuck was her deal? Earlier she was all sweet on you, tying your hair up and teasing you, now, she’s acting like you just beat her dad to death with a golf club or something…

The ride was silent, only the generic pop music bumping on the radio filled it. After a good half hour, she pulled over.

“Y-you wanna come up? Uh, Jesse and Dina aren’t here, they’re at a concert but um.. you don’t have to if you dont wanna..” you shyly said, you didn’t have any ill intention behind it, you just felt bad about her having to go out of her way to drop you off.

“Nah, don’t wanna piss your band mates off,” she let out a dry chuckle.

“Just.. come on, I’ll make you something to eat.”

In the blink of an eye, Ellie was by your side, “Well, can’t pass up free food.”

You laughed a little, the mention of food seemed to perk her up a bit.

The apartment was nice and warm, Dina must’ve turned on the heater as Jesse was too much of a cheapskate.

“What do you wanna eat? We have…. um… instant ramen..”

Ellie laughed a little, “That’s it?”

“Shut up.. now do you want chicken or pork..”

“Chicken.”

Having dinner with Ellie wasn’t so bad, the two of you watched an anime and it turns out, Ellie is a complete nerd. You could tell she was trying to hid it but you could hear her murmuring the lyrics of the intro as she slurped up her ramen. It was kinda cute. If things kept going like this, you could see a potential friendship blooming.

“Thanks for… dinner,” she said as she pulled her coat back on.

You nodded and leaned against the wall, “Yeah… it’s the least I could do..”

“Well, I could think fo something else, “she smirked.

“Keep dreaming, WIlliams,” you giggled.

Just as you were about to kick her out, a flash flood warning popped up on the screen, the newscaster repeated that the roads in downtown Seattle were unfit for driving… oh, fuck.

Ellie’s smirk only widened as she read that, “Guess that means I gotta stay the night, doll.”

“No way, we aren’t even in down town Seattle,” you rolled your eyes as you tried to push her out.

“What..? You’re kicking me out? I could.. I could die, Y/n! Do you want me to die?!”

You sighed, “No, but—!”

“Guess that means I’m stayin,” she smiled, kicked off her boots again and headed straight to your room.

“No, no, no, Ellie! Out! Get out!” you tugged at her sleeve.

“Hey, is my shirt still here?” She rummaged around, “Ah, cool..”

Before you could protest once again, Ellie was pulling her shirt off and all words left your mind.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” god, she was so corny.

You scoffed, “Get out, Williams.”

“No way, it’s cold out ther—,” then as if right on cue, the power went out, “And there’s no heat, I don’t wanna freeze to death.. we gotta use body heat to stay alive, Y/n. This is a matter of life and.. well, death..” she said daramatically.

She really was god’s favourite, wasn’t she?

‘Fine but, keep your clothes on.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

The two of you crawled into your bed, the warm soft sheets enveloping your bodies and just as you were about to drift off you felt something cold and clammy touch your calf, you jumped up.

“Woah, woah, what’s wrong?” Ellie sat up, her hair already messy as she looked at you through foggy eyes.

You pulled up the blankets to see her feet, “Ellie, why the fuck are your feet so god damn cold, you almost gave me a heart attack.. thought you were that thing from that anime..”

Ellie let out a snort as she rubbed her eyes, “You’re funny.”

You grumbled and pushed her feet off you, only for it to come back.

That night, you spent fighting her cold feet.

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

“Y/nnnnn, wake upppppppp,” you felt hands around your waist and hot breath against your neck.

“Get off of me, Ellie,” you grumbled.

“Nah, don’t wanna…” you felt her soft lips press kisses against your neck, one of her hands drifted under your shirt.

You whimpered a bit then her raspy voice whispered, “Still wan’t me to stop, doll?”

“No..”

You could feel her smile against your neck, “Mm, good, cause I don’t wanna..”

There was no way in hell the two of you could be just friends.

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

taglist: @elliessweetheart @bready101 @elliecoochieeater @sevyscoven @boobdrug @rosepetalsonthestep @a-little-bit-of-everybody

not my best work but i PROMISE the next chapter will be better, this was just kind of a bridge for the next one which will involve contracts, more band beef, and ellie being softer perhaps??

[sillyunknownkitkatrebloging]

I'm drooling like wtf

Jesse trying to hide his "feeling" is kinda funny to me for some reason

But maybe a foursome between all of us???? The last of us? No "the last of us to cum is the winner" tf

Sorry, I'm nasty, I need to touch grass but it's cold outside

cool with it

YAY ANOTHER BLURB!!! BUT OMG I THINK THIS IS THE MOST NASTIEST SHIT I’VE EVER WRITTEN THAT DOESN’T EVEN INCLUDE REAL SMUT!!!! KICKING MY FEET AND BLUSHING RN

content warnings: very nsfw (no actual smut but just barely), voyeurism (ellie and jesse are both little pervs in this), smoking weed, all characters are high, swearing, reader is implied to be bi (or at least comfortable being sexual with or around men)

ellie thought very little of it when dina pulled y/n out of her grasp, tugging her to squeeze into the dirty old chair across from the sofa that the auburn haired girl was sitting on. jesse had taken up the spot next to her, bickering back and forth with her as she struggled to roll the fattest blunt anyone had ever seen, jesse attempting to talk her out of potentially wasting any bud. 

ellie thought very little of it when she could no longer hear the chittering and giggling of the two girls, instead focusing on swatting her best friend’s hands away and she groggily folded the paper. she really didn’t even think that much of it when she first heard the gentle smacking noises and girlish moans that she knew all too well. honestly, if it weren’t for jesse slapping her arm and gesturing across the room with wide eyes and a hanging jaw, she probably wouldn’t have noticed the fact that dina was shoving her tongue down her girlfriend’s throat.

both girls seemed to be on cloud nine, neither pulling apart for more than a short breath or even taking a glance over at their respective partners, both of whom were watching in utter disbelief and awe. 

dina’s hands were wandering across every inch of y/n’s body as she could reach, which y/n’s found purchase in dina’s dark locks that, for once, were left hanging loose around her shoulders. y/n’s bottom lip became trapped between dina’s teeth, pulling a weak whimper from her throat as she pressed her body closer to the girl’s. 

“should we…” jesse started, though he could barely finish his sentence with how entranced he was by the scene. he shifted in his seat, reaching across and pulling a spare cushion onto his lap, very indiscreetly covering up how much he was actually enjoying this. 

part of ellie wanted to be mad, how dare dina go after her girl when she’s so clearly under the influence, and how dare y/n makeout with someone right in front of her own girlfriend? still, that part of her was almost non-existent in comparison to the other part that was getting so much enjoyment out of this. she felt the wet spot in her boxers growing rapidly, and she felt the sudden urge to move closer, to force your faces together more firmly. 

“i mean…” she glanced over at his very quickly, “i’m cool with it.”

the boy nodded excitedly, “yeah, me too.”

the pair turned away from each other, their red-rimmed gazes falling on their girlfriends as dina moved her attention down y/n’s throat and began mouthing at the low neckline of her tank top. she grinned wickedly at the reaction, her long fingers curling around her thigh and grazing her covered heat. y/n sighed wantonly, her hazy stare falling over to her girlfriend. 

her hooded eyes showed only three things: exactly how much the weed was affecting her, how much she was enjoying dina’s mouth moving lower and tugging one of her hardened nippled between her teeth, and concern for how her girlfriend was feeling about all of this. recognizing her confliction, ellie leaned forward, elbows pressing into her knees as she sent her a curt nod, a silent keep going. 

though, none of them seemed aware of exactly how far it would go as dina began forcing the girl to rub herself against her thigh, smirking at ellie across the room as she asked her the night-changing question.

“ellie, can i pretty please eat your girlfriend’s pussy?”

[nickeverdeen]

https://www.tumblr.com/nickeverdeen/759892946103468032/accident?source=share

It's okay I can do it lol I might not remember exactly what I said that day but probably it was something in these same waters:

A jesse imagine with a fem!autistic!reader, just the same context as the first hcs you posted for someone a while ago. So, jesse and reader know each other, but this is set before they start dating. They know each other, they have brief talks sometimes (around ellie because she's their common friend, or in the in the gatherings at the millers when everyone is invited for dinners, etc) and, you know, he has a crush on her. Would even be cool to have some details in the imagine like since when he started having feelings for her, what was his first impressions of her, how did he got to know she was autistic (did someone tell him or he noticed something by himself? Or it was just a common knowledge in jackson for everyone?). But because she's introspective with people she doesn't really have intimacy, he finds hard to approach her in a way of finding a connection to her, he doesn't know if he would scare her or make her feel uncomfortable if he was too bold. So he begins to notice (by watching her) that she likes to paint and draw sometimes (he's pretty sure he heard someone say that it was one of her hyperfocus), he sees that she sometimes paints ellie's tattoo with markers or makeup when they hang together on her place, and he's pretty sure he saw Joel sitting on tommy and maria's couch and letting reader draw on his hand with a pen in some of the gatherings, when they were both bored.

So he has an ideia. He goes through his stuff until he finds some sketches his 12 year old self did (In my headcanon, he thought about getting a tattoo when Cat came to town and he found out she did tattoos, but he eventually let that idea go). Well, now he has a pretty good reason to have a tattoo. if it doesn't work, at least it will be covered by his shoulder.

So... Yeah he shows to her by the end lol I won't give details on this one tho, I'm pretty sure her reaction or anything that would be written after this point you would plan better than me.

I love you so much, cariño, and I’m so sorry again that you had to rewrite it

————————————————

A Sketch of Connection | Jesse x autistic fem!reader

Summary: The thriving community is a refuge for survivors, where life is beginning to feel a little more normal for Jesse when he meets you.

———————————

Jesse stood just outside of the mess hall, leaning against the wooden post as he watched the world move around him. His gaze was focused on you, sitting a few yards away with Ellie, both of you engrossed in some quiet activity. He couldn’t help but smile, noting how your concentration on whatever you were doing seemed to block out the noise and chaos of the busy day around you.

He’d been trying to get closer to you for a while now, ever since Ellie introduced you both. She spoke of you often, mentioning your incredible talent for painting and how you seemed to find solace in your art in a way that few others did. Jesse had noticed it too, in the small things—how your hands would twitch and fidget when you were in a room full of people, how loud noises would make you flinch slightly, or how you would sometimes eat your food in a very particular order, as if certain textures didn’t sit well with you.

Ellie had mentioned once, offhandedly, that you were autistic, something Jesse hadn’t fully understood but had since looked into. He learned about stimming, about the sensitivity to certain stimuli, and how social interactions could sometimes be challenging. It made him more aware, more cautious in his approach. He didn’t want to scare you off or make you uncomfortable, but he was desperate to find a way to connect with you beyond the surface-level conversations they shared at Miller’s house during group dinners.

As he watched, he noticed how you seemed completely absorbed in drawing on Ellie’s forearm with a marker, probably adding some intricate design around her tattoo. It wasn’t the first time he’d seen you do that. He’d even seen Joel let you doodle on his hand once, a rare occurrence considering how much Joel guarded his personal space. It was then that an idea started forming in Jesse’s mind—a way to get closer to you, to understand you better, and maybe, just maybe, open a door to something more.

Later that night, he rummaged through his old belongings, finding the sketchbook he’d kept as a kid. Flipping through the pages, he found what he was looking for—an old sketch he’d made when he was about twelve. It was of a wolf, fierce and wild, something he’d thought was cool back then. Jesse had briefly considered getting it tattooed when Cat had passed through Jackson, but the idea had faded away. Now, though, it seemed like the perfect excuse. If nothing else, it would be a conversation starter, a way to share something personal with you.

The next morning, Jesse found himself in front of Cat’s place, the small parlor she’d set up in her spare time, tattooing those who wanted to leave a permanent mark on their skin. He explained what he wanted, showing her the old sketch.

Jesse sat down in the worn, comfortable chair in Cat’s makeshift tattoo parlor, a small room she had converted into her own little artistic haven. The walls were lined with sketches and ink samples, a testament to her skill. He handed her the sketch of the wolf he’d drawn years ago, watching as she studied it with a critical eye.

“This is good,” she said, nodding in approval. “Didn’t know you were an artist, Jesse.”

“Not really,” he replied with a shrug. “Just doodles from when I was a kid.”

Cat raised an eyebrow, still examining the lines of the drawing. “Well, it’s better than half the stuff people bring me. Where do you want it?”

Jesse hesitated, then lifted the edge of his shirt to expose his shoulder. “Here, I think. It’s kinda personal, so I’d like to keep it hidden most of the time.”

“Personal, huh?” Cat murmured, setting up her equipment. She nodded towards the chair, and Jesse shifted to give her better access to his shoulder. As she prepped the area, she kept glancing at him, clearly sensing there was more to the story. “So, what made you finally decide to get it done? This sketch’s been in your drawer for years.”

Jesse bit his lip, debating how much to share. Cat had a way of getting people to open up, even when they weren’t sure they wanted to. “There’s this girl,” he finally admitted, the words coming out quieter than he intended. “Y/N.”

Cat’s hands paused for a moment, and she shot him a knowing look. “Ah, so this is about that pretty girl Ellie’s been talking about.”

Jesse felt his face heat up, but he chuckled. “Yeah, I guess it is. I wanted a reason to talk to her more, something to connect us. She’s… she’s really into art, and I thought maybe if I got this, we could… I don’t know, bond over it?”

Cat smirked, clearly amused. “That’s sweet, Jesse. I didn’t peg you for the romantic type.”

He laughed, a little embarrassed. “Well, I’m not usually, but she’s different, you know? I just want to get to know her better, without scaring her off.”

“You’re doing something right,” Cat said, her voice softer now as she began to work on his tattoo. “From what I hear, Y/N’s not the easiest person to get close to. But you’re willing to take it slow, let her come to you. That’s good. Shows you care.”

Jesse smiled, relaxing into the chair as the familiar buzz of the tattoo machine filled the room. “Yeah, I do. I just hope she sees that.”

Cat worked in silence for a while, focused on her art. When she finished, she wiped down the tattoo and admired her work, giving Jesse a satisfied nod. “Looks good. You’re gonna knock her socks off with this.”

Jesse glanced in the mirror she held up, taking in the new addition to his shoulder. The wolf looked fierce, just like he’d imagined it would all those years ago. But now, it carried a new meaning, one tied to the hope of getting closer to you.

Cat cleaned up her tools, then glanced at Jesse with a teasing grin. “Don’t worry, Jesse. Your pretty girl’s gonna love it. And if she’s smart, she’ll see you for the good guy you are.”

Jesse’s heart skipped a beat at her words, and he couldn’t help but grin back. “Thanks, Cat. I really hope so.”

As he left the parlor, the new tattoo burning slightly under his shirt, Jesse felt more determined than ever to show you just how much you meant to him. And with Cat’s words echoing in his mind, he couldn’t wait to see where this new connection might lead.

He waited a few days before approaching you, nervous about how you might react. One evening, when the sun was beginning to dip behind the mountains, casting a golden glow over Jackson, he spotted you sitting on a bench outside, your sketchbook in your lap. Jesse took a deep breath and walked over, trying to keep his usual easygoing demeanor despite the knot of nerves in his stomach.

“Hey, Y/N,” he greeted, taking a seat next to you. You glanced up, a small smile tugging at your lips, which gave him the courage to continue. “Got a minute?”

“Sure,” you replied softly, closing your sketchbook but keeping your hands fidgeting with the edge of the cover.

He hesitated for a moment, then pulled at the collar of his shirt to reveal his shoulder. “I, uh, got a tattoo the other day. Wanted to show you.”

Your eyes widened slightly, curiosity piqued as you leaned in closer to get a better look. Jesse noticed how your fingers stilled for a moment before you reached out, hesitating just before touching his skin. He nodded, giving you permission, and you gently traced the lines of the tattoo with a featherlight touch.

“It’s… really good,” you murmured, your voice carrying a hint of awe. “The wolf, it looks strong.”

Jesse smiled, relieved by your reaction. “Yeah, it’s something I drew when I was a kid. Thought it would be cool to finally get it inked.”

You nodded, your focus still on the tattoo. “It’s a good design… you used to draw?”

“A little,” he admitted, scratching the back of his neck. “Not as good as you, though. I’ve seen your work—Ellie brags about it all the time.”

A small blush crept up your cheeks, and you looked down, clearly pleased but unsure how to respond. Jesse decided to take the plunge, hoping this would bring you closer.

“I was thinking,” he began, choosing his words carefully, “maybe… you could design my next tattoo? I mean, if you’re up for it. I’d love to have something of yours.”

You looked up at him, eyes wide with surprise. “You… you want me to design something for you?”

“Yeah,” Jesse said, his tone earnest. “Only if you’re comfortable with it, of course. I just thought it could be something we do together.”

You took a moment to process his request, your fingers idly tracing the pattern of the tattoo again as you considered it. Finally, you nodded, a small but genuine smile on your lips. “I’d like that, Jesse. I’d really like that.”

Relief and excitement washed over him. “Great! We can start whenever you’re ready. No rush.”

You nodded again, a bit more confident now. “Maybe… tomorrow? We can meet here, and I can show you some ideas.”

“Sounds perfect,” Jesse replied, his heart swelling with affection. He’d taken a step closer to you, not just by asking for your artistic help, but by showing you that he valued you—your creativity, your thoughts, and your presence in his life.

As the two of you sat there, chatting softly about possible designs, Jesse couldn’t help but feel that this was the beginning of something special. And as you began to open up, sharing more about your art and your ideas, he knew that whatever this was, it was worth every moment of patience and understanding.

[ennabear]

vampire!ellie

synopsis: you met ellie in your university’s ancient library, you were just trying to study and ellie couldn’t help but talk to you. it drove her crazy, the scent of your blood. usually, she didn’t even notice the scent on others. she was so used to it that it didn’t bother her anymore. but you were different, sweeter.

cw: kinda like a mix between tlou and twilight, mentions of witchcraft and hanging, vampire!abby being a ladykiller literally, papa vampire!joel, mama vampire!tess, newlyweds vampire!jesse and dina, dina’s transformation, lotsssss of backstory like i seriously couldn’t stop myself from yapping. not proofread sorry :((((((

a/n: i’m definitely gonna make a series out of this. sorry if this is wayyy too long but i have a special place in my heart for vamp!ellie and her sweet vampire family. ok that’s all ily thanks for reading.

wc: 2.2k

you shouldn’t be walking alone at night, really. campus was a sketchy place. a plethora of bad things could happen. you could get kidnapped, jumped, pickpocketed, or, hell, even bitten by a vampire.

the library had the same scent it always did. it smelled like dust and paper. in all honesty, you didn’t prefer it here. although it was beautiful, tall windows lined with stained glass, large bookshelves with every book you’d ever want, every word you could imagine and more, it was just so eerie. something bad was bound to happen here.

anyways, you settled down at the table in the corner. the one farthest away from anyone else. you’d rather be at home right now, studying in bed. it’s only because your roommate invited her stupid boyfriend over that you ended up here. it’s for the better anyway, though, because in bed you wouldn’t get anything done. you’d be too distracted.

you had your priorities written on your palm, the pen now smudged, making it barely readable. writing on your palm was easier, more convenient than a post-it note. but you wrote it down on paper anyways, incase you sweated more of it off before you finished. it wasn’t likely you would, though. the library was freezing, especially in the winter.

the clack of your fingers typing in your laptop password was the only thing to be heard. everyone else was dead silent. this was probably the only thing you liked about the library, everybody agreed on an unspoken rule, make the least amount of noise possible. you got started with completing your essay after shuffling your playlist, determined to finish by the end of the night.

that’s when she saw you.

or, smelled you? your scent was so strong, it hit ellie hard. her vision went dark and splotchy, and she had to grip onto the table for support. her pearly white hands making a dent in the table with how hard she was holding.

you had to be her next meal. she had to find some way to get you alone and suck your veins dry. it scared her, the thoughts she was having. her intentions weren’t to murder you, but she was starving now. you had unknowingly gotten her high on your scent.

she didn’t even know where you were. were you outside? down the hall? in the library? fuck, right next to her? her head was hurting now, really, really badly. but she needed you even worse.

picking up a random book, she used the most brainpower she could to sniff you out. then, she really saw you. headphones in your ears, your hands typing away at something that won’t even matter soon. soon, she’ll have your body in her arms, hopefully in the comfort of her own home. your neck dripping a puddle on the floor as she relentlessly drank from you, your skin growing cold and your lips turning purple.

her docs made silent footsteps across the floor as she walked toward you. this was something ellie learned to master, silence. especially when she went into hunting mode. nobody looked at her as she expertly dodged the creaks in the old wooden floor. nobody saw her coming. especially you. you never saw ellie williams coming.

“hey, is it okay if i sit here?”

“….sorry, what was that?” you scrambled to pause your music.

“can i sit here?”

“oh. yeah, sure. go ahead.”

you went back to typing, not continuing your music incase she wanted to talk. you really hoped she didn’t. you needed to finish your essay. and you weren’t much of a people person either.

“what are you writing?” she asked.

“just an essay, nothing interesting.”

“oh, cool.”

she started reading the book she picked up before sniffing you out. she didn’t bother to look at the title. or read any of the words either. really, she was just staring at it, her mind racing. she needed to come up with something interesting, something to make you like her.

while she stared at the words, you couldn’t help but stare at her. your fingers came to a complete stop as you admired this stranger across from you. she didn’t even introduce herself, how strange. her hair was a dark brown, her eyes black. her face was incredibly smooth. skin paler than ever, she looked as if she was a marble statue, like she belonged in a museum.

and she was reading twilight, of all books. although, you liked the book, it seemed ironic for her, like she was too mature for it. this beautiful stranger was sitting across from you, her eyebrows pulled together in frustration while she chewed on the inside of her cheek. she seemed furious at something, but at the same time, hard to read.

you were almost scared of her, but intrigued above all else.

“do you like that book?” you asked.

“twilight? yeah. it’s okay. i’ve read it a few times.”

“hmm. it’s a classic.”

“it’s not bad. but i’ve read a lot of books. this one doesn’t come close to the others.”

“so you read a lot? how come i’ve never seen you before?”

“i’m usually hiding. i don’t prefer to engage with others if i can help it.”

“yeah, that explains it.”

she got lucky. thank god, if there even is one, that she grabbed a book you knew about. that you started a conversation with her. she thought it was the most stupid book on earth. it was filth, pure mormon fanfiction. and it was completely wrong.

“why are you here so late? it’s almost midnight.” you asked.

“i could ask you the same question.” she responded.

“i have a lot of work i’ve been procrastinating on. if i could choose, i’d be at home. but my roommate’s boyfriend is there and i can’t stand being in the same building as them.”

“i don’t really know why i’m here. i just like to meet new people i guess.”

“i thought you didn’t like talking to people.”

“that’s different. you’re different.”

“how so? you don’t know who i am, and i don’t even know your name.”

she stared at you blankly. you had her trapped. she suddenly realized that maybe you were harder to get than she expected. maybe you wanted to play this game.

“i’m ellie. it’s short for elizabeth but i hate that name. it’s too common, i’m sick of hearing it.”

“elizabeth is beautiful.”

“thanks. you sound like my parents.”

lie. she didn’t know her parents anymore. they had abandoned her hundreds of years ago after suspecting she was a witch because she refused to get married to a man at only seventeen. after a few years, she was hung.

it wasn’t until her new father, joel, took up an investigation of what happened to poor elizabeth. he ended up traveling to their old village and finding her grave after tracing her obituary back to a newspaper published in 1579.

shed been dead for years. joel was the one who brought her back to life. he injected his venom into her long rotten arms and took her in for the seven years it took for her to come back fully. he saved her. he taught her how to walk, how to speak, how to hunt. joel miller was her new father.

joel used to be a police officer. in 1712, he ran into a poor woman, bleeding and begging for his help. claiming that her husband had turned to satan and was now possessed. the woman had been bitten, she eventually would turn into ellie’s mother, tess. joel got bitten too. all three of them spent the next years as newborns in that small cabin, feasting on whoever was unfortunate enough to wander by.

the woman’s husband didn’t survive. he was caught by a clan of christians and burned alive, leaving just joel and tess, who couldn’t help but fall in love. they adopted more kids before and after ellie too.

abigail was the first. she was living alone in the appalachian mountains, feasting on whoever wandered after sundown. leading poor girls, desperate for a good time, into her bed and then eating them whole. abigail often hung out at lesbian bars. the girls who went home with her never came back. a bartender joked with her about this once, the bartender didn’t come back, either.

joel heard about abigail through the only other coven that lived in washington. they said she was a monster, a relentless murderer trapped in a goddesses body. that she could hold the whole world on her shoulders but couldn’t refrain from eating innocent girls who were cheating on their husbands.

abby and ellie were never really good friends, but they tried. abby preferred to keep to herself. usually either reading or climbing a mountain with her bare hands. and she refused to find a long-term lover. ellie was almost the opposite. she preferred more modern things, like making music and fast cars. and she loved to flirt with girls.

jesse came after ellie. he was born more recently, in 1878. he was dying of a disease nobody knew about. they didn’t have the right knowledge or technology to save him, so they quarantined him in a hospital room until he died. he didn’t, though. joel saved his life. the hospital staff were horrified after seeing the blood stained floor, the splatters over the walls, and more importantly, the fact that jesse’s body was nowhere to be found.

jesse had a wife now, named dina. she met him in 1983 at a prestigious fashion school. jesse had already been to tons of colleges. neither of them aged. they never changed. they were all trapped. after studying medicine, law, physics, engineering, and marketing, he wanted a change.

that’s when he met dina. she was a beautiful woman, deep tan skin, dark eyes, long black hair and eyelashes. and she had such a knack for fashion. jesse was in love, it took him a long while before he came clean to dina about who he was. she was so in love with him too, she didn’t mind it, and she certainly wasn’t scared. dina was never scared of anything.

so they got married. and the night after their wedding, they flew to a private island joel owned for their “honeymoon”. aka, dina’s transformation. they were gone for almost three years. jesse kept a journal of everything that happened to her.

july 12, 1989. i did it. i held her so gently in my arms and sank my teeth into her neck. she was screaming, i know she was in pain, but she’ll never admit it. before she fell asleep, i drank a few of her tears and then closed her eyes. she’ll be twenty six for the rest of her life, until the earth stops spinning. i hope she can forgive me.

december 31, 1989. joel, i got your letter. she’s been doing okay. i can’t stop looking at her, her perfect curves and her deep brown hair. i think it was for the better that i took her dress off before we started, she designed it, it was so beautiful. i know she’d get upset about the red staining the expensive white satin. it’s still here, waiting for her. the year is about to end, we still have quite a few months until she awakes. i’m scared. not of her, of myself. am i a murderer? did i, a cold-blooded demon, destroy a perfect, innocent life? will she remember me?

august 27, 1990. it’s been over a year. nothing, but i know it’s coming. i’ve been holding her head on my lap, stroking her hair. i haven’t moved from this position in three months. she is so beautiful. i redressed her in the outfit she designed for this occasion, it suits her well. a part of me regrets this decision. i wish i could grow old with her, maybe have kids someday. sit on the porch while or grandchildren play in the yard. her eyes wrinkling with the smile she always flashes me. this will never happen. it’s just a dream.

november 16, 1990. she is awake. so much screaming. she’s in pain. won’t even look at me. she is thirsty. will bring her some bird blood to quench her thirst.

november 21, 1990. she only sits and stares at a wall, rocking back and forth. her eyes are white now. don’t know if she is okay. or if she will survive. her throat burns. if she goes, i go.

february, 1991. don’t know what day it is, she has calmed down. she didn’t remember anything at first. not me, not her name, nothing. she remembers now, though. hopefully we can come home this year. i still don’t know if i trust her enough around people. if she is caught, she’ll be burned. if she goes, i go.

may 18, 1991. traveled to a near by island. i taught her how to swim, she loves it. she’s so surprised that she can hold her breath infinitely. she is so beautiful, it’s like falling in love with her all over again. there were people at the island, it was a small village. they were kind, but we had to leave early. i don’t want to push her limits, but she did exceptionally well.

october 4, 1991. on our way home. starting this life forever with her. i hope she can forgive me.

[s-4pphics]

scent of the pine. 1 (e.w.)

omg i finally wrote something who woulda thought gosh golly damn hey yall whos gay around here

wc;cw: 9.6k mmmm, sistersbestfriend!ellie, guitarist/producer!ellie, violinist!oc, so many time skips and theyre not even done yet omg, queer duh, all ocs r black coded<3, mentions of underage smoking/drinking(nics n weed obv), partying, making out, blood(it’s fake but still), all tlou kids appear including *gasp* cat, lots of ocs theyre gonna thrive in later chaps, depression, anxiety, disassociation, crack(it’s not all bad yall laugh a little!!), mentions of therapy, uh yeah just alot of sad and drama, smut in later chaps🤭🤭

You have always been surrounded by music. 

When you were born, your mother quieted your screams with song, holding you close to her chest and gently whispering words of affection and love into your ears while your three-year-old sister jumped in celebration for new life. 

When you were two, your mother gave you your first ever violin toy. Your sister had taken a large interest in the flute at age four, saying that the whistling noises sounded like birdies! and she wanted to give you the same exposure. It could have been sheer luck or her maternal instincts, but you quickly became attached to it. It was small and inexpensive and hardly sounded like a violin, but its bright lights and animated face near the scratched, poorly painted F-holes entranced you like no other. You couldn’t stop fiddling with the red, blue, and green buttons across the body, and every time it played the same robotic instrumental, you waved your arms around with the biggest smile on your face, like you could fly away from elation. Your sister would sometimes jump in and blow into her months old pink recorder while the instrumental played from your toy, imagining you were a part of a world-renowned orchestra: the musical harmony between the two of you brought your mother joy. 

When you turned three, your mom and sister invited over some of her friends to help make cupcakes topped with musical notes for your special day. You sat on the couch with your favorite toy in hand as the instrumental played, jumping up and down on the cushion from pure excitement. Your sister’s friends kept you entertained while your mother prepared dinner, banging together pots and pans with wooden spoons and dancing, imagining them as drums. All four of them made you laugh with jokes, sang to you—one of them even played a song on one of her miniature, bright green guitars— and allowed you to experience some of the joys of life through symphonic expression.

When you were four, your mother noticed differences in your behavior. She noted that you and your sister were polar opposites: she was outspoken, unapologetic, and animated, while you were shy, polite, and timid. You hardly ever spoke unless spoken to, and though no one around you judged you for it, your mother often wondered what went on in your head. Despite your lack of communication, she never doubted the fire inside you: she saw it in your eyes whenever you watched footage of some of the most famous names in the classical world play their hearts out. When you were five, she signed you up for violin lessons.

When your big sister turned eight, she and her friends' released screams of excitement when she revealed her very first flute. She jumped in excitement, —mostly out of relief that she wouldn't have to berate you and your mom with the shrilling bleats of her old, pink recorder— shrieking about how she and her friends should start a band as soon as possible.“How the hell would a trumpet player fit in a rock band, you idiot?” You remembered your sister's best friend, Ellie, saying quietly so your mother wouldn’t hear from the kitchen, earning a playful shove from Jesse, your next-door neighbor. The dark-haired girl, Dina—who lived two houses down and had a large obsession with slapping her mother’s keyboard in the middle of the night—bursted into a fit of giggles while pointing at the young boy, making him blush. 

You were always very observant of your sister's friends. You didn’t have many opportunities to make some of your own due to your incessant need to isolate, so you managed with what you had. They intrigued you: they were loud, lively, and exuberant. They never shied away from demonstrating their talents to you or your mom, especially the green-eyed, auburn-haired girl that almost always had her father’s black acoustic guitar strapped around her small frame on the three-block walk to your house. You remembered when she brought the guitar to school to play for the other students during lunch time, which landed her in after-school detention after she scolded one of her teachers for confiscating it, claiming that they were “limiting creative expression” and telling them to “screw themselves”. 

When Ellie’s father, Joel, came to pick up your sister's friends from her party, Ellie jokingly pinched your side and threw you a quick see ya, squirt! while her and her two friends laughed and waved their way out of your front door. Your face ran hot as you watched them—her—leave. You didn’t get to reply before they ran down your porch in a heap of giggles. Watch the road, nuggets! I don’t have life insurance! You remembered Joel calling out to them as they sprinted across the street. 

When you turned eight years old, your mother gave you your very first authentic violin and bow, the black case wrapped in glittery, floral paper. As usual, your sister and her friends grabbed and shook your shoulders out of excitement and anticipation of seeing you play since they never have, which you politely declined. You have always shied away from revealing your natural talent due to your scalding fear of embarrassment, resulting in only your mother and violin teacher knowing your abilities. You blushed as your sister, Jesse, and Dina pressed on, pleading that you play at least a couple of chords for them, causing Ellie to playfully come to your defense with a high-spirited squeal of she’s shy, you heathens! leave her be before I kick all your asses! 

From that moment on, you always looked up to Ellie and her comfortability with herself. You never thought that you would meet someone more confident than your sister, but Ellie had her beat for miles. Regardless of where she was or what she did, she moved with a confidence that you only dreamt of having at that age. You wanted so desperately to mimic her, but that annoying voice of doubt never failed to remind you of your place. You made sure your light was dimmed, always. 

When your sister was twelve, she began to take music very seriously. She went from two flute sessions a week to five, only to return home and play some more. She’d even performed in some of her school's recitals (she vomited across the stage during her first performance, but a victory is a victory). You watched your mother scold her about not completing her homework as she stood practicing in the living room while you silently ate your dinner, which led to her half-heartedly completing her assignments with a frown on her face. Over the next year and a half, your sister's scolding started to get more intense as her grades dropped. She was never much of a scholar, but she never let her grades slip under as much as they had then. Although her music teacher was sending her home with nothing but praises after every lesson, your mom often received letters in the mail from your sister's school saying that her performance was concerning. You’d heard your mother reprimand her countless times, saying you’re not going to survive high school like this! look at what you’re doing! while your sister claimed I know exactly what I’m doing, I want to be better! I’m following my dreams! why aren’t you proud of me? They had exchanged more harsh words until you heard your sister's door slam shut and your mothers silently resigned to her room in defeat. 

You heard your sister’s cries through your shared wall for a while, until a gentle voice—Ellie’s, you recognized—consoled her and told her to calm down until her whimpers silenced. You knew she had a habit of secretly climbing up into your sister's window to hang out when your mom didn’t allow company over, but you didn’t know that she also always showed up when your sister needed another source of comfort. You slowly got up and left your room, silently walking down the hall until you reached your sister's door. You wanted to knock and see if she was okay, but before you could do so, the door opened and out walked Ellie, clad in her usual dark jeans and T-shirt, bracelets covering her wrists in mass, and dirty, scuffed chucks and socks in hand. She jumped slightly when she witnessed someone waiting behind the door, but instantly relaxed when she realized it was you. 

“Hey, squirt. Why are you creepin’ behind the door like that?” She whispered with a small chuckle, gently shutting your sister’s door. 

“Sorry.” You whispered back. “I heard her crying and I wanted to check on her. How is she?” 

“She’ll be fine. She got a headache and fell asleep. I was just tucking her in, don’t worry.” She gently said, looking down at you. “I was just about to head out. Mind lockin’ the front door for me?” 

“Why don’t you just leave out the window again?” 

She snorted before she asked, “Dude, do you know how hard it is to climb down that rickety ass ladder you guys have outside? I almost broke my neck climbing down that thing in that storm last month.” 

You quietly laughed alongside her while she bent down to put her socks back on. “What are you doing up anyway? It’s late and you have class tomorrow.” 

“So do you.” You said, raising an accusatory brow at her. “Plus, I'm not tired, I’m bored.” 

“I’m not tired”, she said mockingly. “What do you wanna do right now?” 

“Don’t you have to be home soon?” 

She waited a second before a mischievous smirk creeped on her face, “Yeah, but who cares. C’mon.” 

She grabbed your wrist before quickly pulling you back into your room and gently shutting the door behind you. She took note of your room: pink and purple everything. Your walls were drenched in white and pink stripes with giant, iridescent, butterfly stickers, your bedspread had small specks of glitter sprinkled across it, which shimmered from your pink and green fairy lamp. You had a small tv propped up on your dresser, which was covered in fairy and Disney princess stickers, at the front of your room. She couldn’t help but snicker at the mountain of plushies that crowded your bed and nightstand. However, she halted when she noticed a small glass case that held two violins with their bows. She recognized the first one: a gift from your mother on your eighth birthday that had lost some shine, and another, much glossier and more tuned than the latter. It looked barely used. A small burst of joy exploded in her chest at the thought of you playing even though she had never seen it. She was happy to know that your love for music still lived. 

“Your room’s cute, dude, it’s making my skin crawl like crazy, holy fuck,” she said with a soft laugh, leaning back against your door. 

“Don’t make fun of me, you freakin' metalhead! It’s pretty in here and I like it,” you said begrudgingly, “Your room's scary!” 

She let out a loud laugh before she acknowledged your glass-guarded instruments, “You still play?” 

She nodded towards your protected instruments. You nodded from your bed and excitedly said, “Yeah, come sit! I never had a slumber party before!” 

You spent the night quietly watching Peter Pan, gossiping about how in love you were with him and how you wished you could fly. Ellie silently watched you talk with curious, wide eyes as you went on tangent after tangent. You talked about movies you loved and boys you liked (which she playfully gagged at), and music you liked to listen to when you were sad, and she internalized all of it. She had never seen this side of you before, but she was so intrigued that she didn’t notice her own intensity in her own eyes. You just kept going and going before you abruptly stopped, the brightness in your eyes dimming slightly as you looked at her. 

“Sorry for talking a lot,” you said, embarrassed. “Am I annoying?” 

“‘Course not, squirt,” she said confused, but immediately. “Why the hell would you think that?” 

You didn’t say anything, but her affirmation reignited the fire in your eyes as your rambles started up again. She let you talk until you sloppily fell asleep across your pillows and plushies, tv still quietly playing in the background. She gently got up from her position, careful not to wake you, pulled your blankets over your frame, and stealthily left through your sister’s window. She made her way back home, envisioning you playing your violin for her one day. 

Ellie became the person that you turned to whenever you needed reassurance. She’d never failed at making you feel acknowledged and seen and heard. 

Age thirteen was the first time you anticipated the summer. Middle school had been a very disconnected period for you, and though many of your peers had experienced a sense of helplessness through these trine times of adolescence, yours was slowly overtaking your ability to feel excitement for anything. You had become so detached to the world around you and that annoying, discouraging voice had only spurred on your distance. This dark state that you entered caused you to separate from everyone, including your own family. Your last day of eighth grade was the giddiest you had felt in a long time, and you couldn’t wait to get back to your place of solitude—home. 

Your sister entered her element in high school. Much to your mother’s delight, she was able to find a balance between fulfilling her dreams as a musical prodigy while staying afloat academically. 

You had been attending your violin lessons for eight years, and though you were blessed with your musical perception, —according to your teacher—you never played in front of an audience. Though your teacher was eager to put you in the children’s orchestra that he trained, your mother did not want to push you into something you weren’t ready for, so she'd always decline politely. 

In July, Dina invited you and your sister over to a pool party. Her parents were going to be out for the weekend, and she thought that it’d be the perfect time to be reckless. When you and your sister walked in with your towels and snacks in hand, she greeted you both with an excited squeal, beckoning you both to the backyard. Ellie, Dina’s older sister, Talia, and a few older girls that you didn’t recognize, were already in the water, splashing and laughing. 

“Look who just arrived, cunts! My babies, my angels, the lights of my life— “

“Ay, shut the fuck up!” the blonde-haired girl yelled with a grin, causing Dina to flip her off and the others to laugh. 

You modestly held your folded towel in your hand, smiling at their interaction. Your sister had already discarded her towel, shorts, and flip flops on a random beach chair before she cannonballed into the pool, causing everyone to swear and splash her. Dina then jumped in right behind her with a shout. They all blended so well, and you curled into yourself. Maybe you should go—

“Get over here, squirt! It’s hot as fuck out here,” Ellie shouted out with a smile, before a girl in a black bikini playfully jumped on her back, planting a light kiss on her shoulder. Something unfamiliar panged in your chest, but you nodded and slipped off your flip flops before making your way over to the pool stairs, slowly submerging yourself into the water. 

“You’re still calling her squirt like she’s four, cut it out already,” Dina called out with a snort before she addressed you.

“I’m not sure if your sister ever mentioned anything about these losers but they’re some friends from school, that’s Cat, Abby, and Riley,” she said and pointed them out, “and they’re really fucking annoying—

“Shut the hell up before I drown you,” said Abby with a straight face.

“Yeah, keep talking to me like that— “ 

“ANYWAYS,” Ellie interrupted, “We missed you kid, where ya been?” 

“Just at home, nothing crazy. I’m glad to finally be out, though.” I think I’m depressed, please don’t notice. 

“She’s lying, I nearly had to drag her ass outta bed by her feet to detangle her hair this morning,” your sister corrected with an over dramatic eye roll. 

“I’m just tired,” you said meekly. “School was hard these past two weeks.” 

“I bet it was! Literally no one ever talks about how crazy middle school is! I damn near backflipped off the stage at our promotion,” Riley commented with a head shake, making Abby aggressively nod her head in agreement. 

As the side conversations continued, your attention was overtaken by Ellie, who had moved to the opposite side of the pool to whisper something into the short-haired girl’s—Cat, who hasn’t acknowledged you yet—ear, which made her giggle and half-heartedly push Ellie away. The green-eyed girl didn’t budge, wrapping her arms around the girl's waist, pulling her closer and, much to your surprise, planting a quick kiss on her cheek. Cat had a tight grip on Ellie’s olive-green rash guard as she held her and shared soft whispers that you wished you heard. Was that her girlfriend? you thought. You knew Ellie liked girls due to her almost two-year long crush on Riley, which she confided in you and your sister about when she was fourteen. She had wildly knocked on your sister’s window in the middle of the night with a tear-stained face, frantically pacing and claiming that something was wrong with her. 

Why the fuck do I want to kiss her and hold her hand whenever I see her?

This is bad, this is really really bad, guys, something’s wrong! 

What do I do, how do I stop this! 

You had never seen her so defeated, and her wet cheeks and scared eyes made your chest hurt with a sharp stab. Your sister had pulled her into a tight hug and quietly hummed a tune in her ear to soothe her sobs, while you gently rubbed her back and told her that she was going to be okay. She ended up staying the night, dozing off while holding one of your sister’s stuffed animals close to her chest while the two of you held her from both sides. You and your sister hadn’t slept in the same bed since she was six. 

As the party slowly died down and Talia, who snuck away to her room much earlier, beckoned everyone inside with a get outta the pool you freaks! you’re gonna prune! from the back door, you all resigned inside to rinse off and change clothes before heading to the living room to watch a scary movie. You silently smacked on your sour gummy worms on the lone lounge chair as you watched Abby, Riley, and your sister cower behind pillows to block the screen while Dina snored loudly, while Cat and Ellie snuggled on a lounge chair. She had her chin propped up on the dark-haired girl’s head to see the screen while she rubbed her back. 

As the film progressed, you saw the couple making small movements out of the corner of your eye. Cat began to subtly plant soft kisses on her cheek, neck, and shoulder, causing the auburn-haired girl to smirk, moving her head to the side to give her more access. You saw Ellie pull her girlfriend’s shirt up slightly, rubbing the exposed skin on her hip. You seemed to be the only one who noticed as the girls on the other couch squealed at another jump scare. Ellie and her girlfriend shared a more intense kiss, and you saw a glistening tongue poke out. That made you avert your gaze and you blushed, embarrassed that you were catching such an intimate moment. You quickly got up with a quick excuse of I gotta pee, making your way to the bathroom down the hall. Your face was boiling, and your heart pounded in your chest as you soaked your hands with icy water before wiping them down your face, that voice in the back of your head asking what the fuck your problem was. 

You slowly looked up at your reflection in the mirror to center yourself, but your vision started to blur, and hands began to shake. You tried to take deep breaths; you tried you tried you tried but the air left your lungs as quickly as it entered. 

Breathe, breathe breathebreathebreathe—

You jumped at the soft knock on the bathroom door, and you ripped it open without hesitation, revealing a concerned Ellie, Dina, and sibling, reaching out and asking if you were okay. How long were you there? You couldn’t speak or breathe or see so you swiftly shook your head no nonono—

Ellie and your sister guided you back to the living room and onto the couch. Ellie squatted down to your eye level, grabbing your face in her warm hands while your sister rubbed your back and Dina held your hand. The other girls’ expressions had been pulled down in concern as they watched your smaller frame tremble. 

“Hey squirt, can you do me a favor? Can you breathe with me?” 

“Cmon, deep breath in and hold it with me, follow me okay?” Ellie instructed. Your mimicked breaths were choked and broken, but she nodded her head at you in encouragement anyway, gently whispering a that’s it every time you shakily exhaled. 

All the girls remained silent but attentive, allowing Ellie to control the situation. Riley had even gone to the kitchen to snag you a glass of water that she set on the coffee table. You tried to match Ellie’s breaths with yours, holding, in and out, holding, in and out, and you eventually calmed down. There was silence for a few minutes before Dina spoke. 

“How do you feel, hun? You okay to talk now?” she asked softly while gently caressing your hand. You didn’t know how to answer, so you meekly nodded your head yes. 

“Tell us what’s been going on with you. You’ve been so… MIA lately,” your friend noted, cringing slightly at her choice of words. 

“I… I don’t know what’s wrong, I don’t know what… what’s happening to me—

“Shh, it’s alright, we’re gonna handle it, just try to relax for now. We’re leaving in a little, anyway,” your sister comforted. You felt Ellie’s calloused fingers gently rub your knee soothingly. You just wanted to lay down. 

After some more hugs and forehead smooches from Dina, you and your sister packed up your things and headed home. You weren’t aware, but Ellie met your sister’s eyes with an intense gaze, quietly instructing her before you both left, (“You need to watch her tonight, do you understand? You watch her until tomorrow and you tell your mom what happened the second you get a chance”) which she immediately agreed to. 

Your sister had held your hand tightly as you both made your way to your front porch. Your sister pulled out her semiquaver keychain, unlocking the door and quietly trudged inside. Your home was dark, meaning that your mother had already been in bed. Your sister hadn’t released the tight grip of your hand the entire trek upstairs. She opened her bedroom door, silently pulling you inside and made her way over to her dresser. She gave you a giant T-shirt to change into as she put her bonnet on. You both brushed your teeth and washed your face before heading over to her bed. You laid down facing each other, tucked under the blankets. You both looked at each other in silence, but she broke it. 

“I want you to tell me why that happened, no bullshit.” 

You didn’t reply. You were tired. 

“Please tell me what’s wrong.” She pressed on. You noted the desperation in her eyes. Your heart was hurting. 

Silence.

Her eyes shut in defeat before she turned her back to you. Your eyes burned into the worn shirt she wore. Just say it, the voice in your head screamed at you, tell her how worthless you are! 

Silence. 

Silence.

Silence.

And then an exhale. 

“I think I need to talk to someone.” 

You did not expect the rest of your summer to be filled with therapy sessions and journal entries. When your sister told your mother about the events of that night, much to your dismay, she immediately made some phone calls and scheduled sessions twice a week. You had to pause your violin sessions for a few weeks, and you missed it, but you knew this was more important. Your mother expressed her remorse for not paying closer attention to your behavior. Your distance, your lack of energy, your reluctance to speak, your silence—God, your silence. You were screaming without a word. She felt that she’d failed you, and she wanted to do as much as she could to reignite that light in your eyes. 

You hadn’t looked forward to these meetings in the beginning, but you soon grew to like your therapist. Even though your feelings were confusing and unfamiliar to you, she was in no rush to get answers out of you. She allowed you to speak at your own pace and listened to every minor detail. She concluded that your self-doubt has bubbled over into anxiety: she recommended you journaling. She wanted you to document one thing that you loved about yourself everyday (“It can be anything: appearance, personality, talents. Whatever you wish. Just make sure you mean it”). 

And so, you did. 

The next month flew by, the last bits of summer slowly easing into fall, and you were going to start your first year of high school. Your mother and sister had noticed a slight change in your behavior during your break: you started eating dinner with them instead of in your room, asked how their day went, what their week looked like. Your sister would ramble about how stressed she was for her last year but also how excited she was to perform with the school’s orchestra at the December recital and, for the first time in what felt like forever, you rambled back. Your mother had listened from the kitchen as you two gossiped, argued, and even planned to play music together in the future. Her heart swelled. You also started hanging out with Dina, Ellie, Jesse, and your sister a lot more: one night, you followed them back to Joel and Ellie’s garage to watch them freestyle on some of his used instruments. Jesse, who babbled to you about his new love for drumming, demonstrated some techniques he had adapted from Joel on his old drum set while your sister nodded her head along to the beats he made. Dina was already improvising on their brand new sixty-one key keyboard, headphones on to tune out the noise the four of you were making. Ellie, who had stepped away to answer her girlfriend’s call, had her father’s bright green, electric bullet mustang strapped around her chest. She noticed you staring and sent you a thumbs up, you giving one back. She sent you a wink and a smile before turning away to continue her conversation. Your heartbeat increased. 

Ellie had become much more attentive after that night at the party. She had always been protective of you, but her desire to talk to you increased tenfold. She would text you fried memes in the middle of the night or leave voice memos about how her dad was helping her customize his old electric guitar. She chattered about wanting to record the entire process for all of you to see. 

i feel like if i help my dad with anything he’ll wring my neck :| he’s so particular abt instruments it’s annoying 

that sucks :( but at least he cares!! he’s just passionate and wants u to play the best. 

he gave it to ME tho. the guitar is mine now!! i should have some input on how it looks be on my side!!! >:/

i am!! just be patient with him. ur gonna be shredding w it soon enough :D

And she also never failed to check in on you for more serious matters, either. She never pressed for information, not wanting to overstep, but she always ensured that you had a safe space to discuss anything you wanted with her. After some of your meetings, you would already have a text from her asking how your session went and what you learned. You would send her voice memos about some of your therapist’s pointers about communication and how you were trying to improve that skill for your family, especially your mom. She also provided some advice about what helped her regain her footing in conversation, joking that no one could ever get me to shut the hell up at the end of the day! that’s for damn sure. 

Ellie wasn’t aware, but you started writing about her in your journal, as well. Small, little excerpts of what you liked about her and how she made you feel. How caring she was. How she made your heart beat fast whenever she was around. How strong she felt when she pulled you in for a tight hug while whispering about how she missed you—

Oh. 

Oh.

You were helpless… and gay. 

It was late into November. You were fourteen and elated. 

Not only had you slowly eased back into music, but you had friends. That you made on your own. You knew that your sister and her friends didn’t want to drag you along everywhere they went, both on and off campus, so you began to explore other paths by yourself. Swiftly after the school year started, you joined the campus orchestra, and while you were terrified, you were excited. Impassioned. Hopeful. 

There were all types of groups that passed through the practice room. Students of all grades hung out, ate, and studied there: you were shocked at the number of students that lounged in the designated nerd hotspot during their free time. This is nothing like the movies, you had thought. You noted that the room was not as busy on Thursdays during lunch, and you thought it would be a good time to tune out the outside world and throw yourself into music again. One Thursday, you walked in on a group of juniors whispering and giggling about something you couldn’t hear. You looked around and noticed one of the girls from your biology class—Arya, you remembered—pushed off into a corner by herself, on her knees and hurriedly shoving her things into her backpack. She looked upset. 

She looked sad. 

The juniors had been talking about her.

You had your violin case and lunch in hand as you slowly made your way past the juniors and in front of her. You noticed her tear-stained cheeks shining under the white light of the room as you got closer. You softly greeted her, making her jump and eyes harden. 

“Hey, Arya, you alright?” You whispered, squatting down to her level. 

“What do you think,” She whispered back harshly, continuing to shove her books into her pack. “Does it look like I’m alright? If you’re here to laugh you can honestly fuck off.” 

You’d flinched at her tone but pressed on. “I didn’t walk all the way here to laugh at you. Let's go somewhere else, we can eat together, if you want!” 

You could tell she had questioned your enthusiasm. She looked at you skeptically before looking behind you, at the juniors, and then back at you. You didn’t budge. She slowly rose to her feet, swung her backpack over her shoulder, grabbed her instrument case from the floor—hm, clarinet— and softly nodded. You both leaving caused the juniors to laugh harder. 

You didn’t care. 

You and Arya have done everything together since that day. She was eager to introduce you to her two friends, Starr and Kris, who you clicked with immediately. The second they sat you down, they raged about how much they hated the writers of Vampire Diaries due to how they treated Kat Graham, how they joked about hating talented people like you and Arya, what they wanted their future weddings to look like (Kris and her Pinterest boards), and you laughed. 

You were calm.

You were happy. 

Your first year of high school flew by. 

Your sister earned her flute solo at the December recital, earning a standing ovation from the audience of students and parents. You and your mother screamed the loudest for her. 

At Dina’s eighteenth birthday party, you, Ellie, and your sister walked in on her and Jesse tonguing each other down in the kitchen. Ellie let out a hardy laugh of are you fuckers serious! right in front of my salad? while your sister fell to the floor in hysterics. You had shielded your eyes. 

April came around and so did prom season. Your sister said that she had been anticipating the event since seventh grade and you, your mom, and Dina were dragged along to her fitting. She had texted Ellie to come, but she swiftly declined, claiming that she couldn’t hide my fat dick in a dress! love you tho! buy me an elf bar? :3

You missed her so much. 

On the evening of prom, your sister, Dina, Jesse, and Ellie all pitched in to rent a limo. Your sister, gorgeous as always, was draped in a strapless, floral gown that cinched her waist and bloomed at her hips and her twists were pinned up to show her neckline and back. Dina wore a flowy, black dress with a leg slit. Ellie and Jesse were dressed to a T in classic black suits, him in loafers and her in beat up Vans with her usual messy, low bun. 

Your parents had all met at Joel’s house for pictures and semi-alcoholic drinks. You were touching up your sister’s makeup at Ellie’s desk in her room when you felt too familiar hands pinch your sides with a soft, hey squirt. You jumped, almost mussing up your sister’s liner, causing her to kick the hell out of Ellie’s calf. She feigned an ache before hitting her mint elf bar, blowing it away from both of your faces. 

“Don’t fucking play with me right now bitch, I mean it, this is serious business,” your sister had said to her. 

“Oh shut the hell up, it’s three hours of musty people dancing, it’s not that serious,” Ellie said before turning to you, “Check your sister, dude.” 

“El, please shut up,” you said to her. “Just hold still, I'm almost done, god you’re both annoying!” 

You worked as quickly as you could, slightly smudging the liner on her waterline until you were satisfied, “…aaaand done. Tell me how it looks right quick.” 

She inspected her appearance, pressing on her baby hairs before turning and giving you a fat smooch, “Thank you baby! It’s perfect, now move, I gotta piss before we go.” 

Your sister jumped up from Ellie’s chair, holding her dress up while flipping her off and lightly sprinting down the hall to the bathroom, which left you both giggling.

A bored Ellie had made her way over to her bed while you worked, laid out across it, silently puffing on her nic before saying, “I don’t know how you deal with her sometimes.” 

“Me neither, honestly,” you replied, smiling. “Where’s Cat?” 

“Somewhere being annoying. We had an argument last night.” 

“Yikes, sorry I asked.” 

She sat up before shrugging, beckoning you to sit next to her in the bed, “You’re good. She felt a way about my promposal. She went off about me not putting that much effort into the sign I made and waiting until the last minute to ask. It was petty.” 

You snorted with a head shake as you watched her breathe menthol out her nose. 

“Don’t laugh at my shortcomings! Wait ‘til you get a boyfriend, he’s gonna forget about prom too! It’s dumb.” 

You froze. Boyfriend. Boyfriend? You laughed sheepishly with another shake of your head. She noticed your reaction before you could even reply. She smirked in acknowledgement. 

“… or partner. Your partner might forget.” She quietly corrected with a sly grin. 

“If you say anything I’ll strangle you and burn your corpse.” 

“Oh my fucking god, did you forget that I lived in the closet for almost five years straight?! You’re fine.” 

She took another puff before asking, “Anybody steal your heart yet?” 

“Please be serious, I haven’t even had my first kiss yet. How do you even talk to girls without dying?” You said with a pout. 

She almost fell over as she giggled. “You talk to girls like you talk to everyone else, you’re gonna charm them regardless. Trust me.” 

You felt your face heat up at the subtle compliment, but you gave her an eye roll and light shove before your sister came trucking down the hallway with her heels in hand. She shrieked out a limo’s here! before flying down the stairs. Ellie took one more long puff of her pale green vape before tucking it into her jacket pocket, wrapping her arms around your smaller frame as she guided you downstairs. 

She smelled like mint menthol and pine trees. You loved how she smelled. 

Summer came, and you’d fully accepted your big, fat crush on Ellie. 

Your journal had been riddled with doodles of her name surrounded by hearts and sparkles, written words of affection through poetry, more hearts and sparkles. You couldn’t stop thinking about her: everything that she said, everything she did, did something to you. But you didn’t know that the fluttering in your chest whenever she was around would be short lived. 

Your sister had spent her eighteenth birthday at Cat’s family lake house. As much as you wanted to be a fly on the wall and watch your sister go crazy, you had to settle with viewing her private story from your warm bed on Friday night. It was a mess: she had posted multiple snaps of Ellie, Dina, Jesse, and herself taking shot after shot, chug after chug, until she posted a photo of Jesse’s head hanging out of a second story window with Dina’s hand on his back and Ellie cheesing wide with her two thumbs up, nic in hand. Her next snap, however, made your smile drop from your face. 

The footage was a close—too close—up shot of Ellie and Cat making out against the wall. Ellie had her girlfriend trapped between her and the wood, both hands cradling her face as she dominated the kiss. She was grinding her hips up to meet the dark-haired girl’s, pressing her body further into the wall. Ellie then dropped her hands to her girlfriend’s hips, grabbing her short dress in her larger hands to pull her even closer. You barely noticed due to the shakiness of the camera, but you saw the pink glisten of your good friend's tongue swiping up into her girl's mouth before the snap ended. 

You'd nearly dropped your phone on your face. 

The clip had been hilarious out of context: the loud booming of clap clap clap that ass bitch, shake that cameltoe, lemme see them pussy lips! with your sister screaming and shaking like crazy in the background, Jesse behind the couple hurling his guts out of a window, and his concerned girlfriend pouting with a turquoise bong and lighter in her hand. Anyone would’ve found it comedic gold, but you? 

Your stomach had twisted uncomfortably, not only from jealousy, but from a burning, swirling heat. 

You dropped your phone on your bed and sat up as angry tears blurred your vision. You knew her and her girlfriend had been on and off for a while now, so why did it affect you so deeply to see them together? How stupid could you be? you thought she wanted you after all this time? a voice that you hadn’t heard in a while said to you. You’d recognized that tremor in your hands and pick-up of your heart, and you knew that you couldn’t be alone tonight. You sent a quick SOS text to your friends in the group chat, desperately seeking comfort. Arya, ever the angel, was the first to respond with a quick and simple omw rn, stealing her brother’s car keys to pick up Kris and Starr and flew straight to your house. 

The girls held you while you sobbed, gently shushing you and encouraging you to take deep breaths. 

Breathe with me, squirt, there ya go. 

You wished that voice didn’t sound so much like hers. 

Your sister and her friends had returned home Sunday night, hungover and exhausted like hell. You hadn’t moved from your bed all weekend, and you hadn’t wanted to get up to help her drag her bags in. You immediately recognized the laughter that came from downstairs, and your heart shook painfully in your chest. Their voices were muffled due to your door being shut, but you heard a cheerful I’ll go get her leave your sister’s mouth before the sound of her rushed footsteps flooded the quiet hallway. 

You quickly flipped over so your back faced the door, your blanket thrown over your body as you pretended to sleep. 

You heard your door open, some shuffling, before it was gently shut again. You listened to your sister shuffle back downstairs and you heard a faint she’s slumped…. tomorrow or something… 

Their chatter and laughter continued into the night while you moped in your room. Your phone had pinged around eleven, a pop-up of sleep well, squirt:3 on your home screen. 

You turned your phone off and threw it on your nightstand, shutting your eyes, praying for sleep to come. 

You dreamt of green and pine trees. 

You had begun your sophomore year, and your friends had been a good distraction from the inner turmoil of your heart. During the last bits of your vacation, Ellie had been texting you non-stop, eager to play you the completed version of a song she’d been working on for the past five months. She’d even finished customizing her father’s passed down electric guitar: you only knew because you frequently checked her Instagram, despite the ache you felt in your chest when you saw the posts of her and her girlfriend doing cute couple shit. Her guitar had been airbrushed raven black with silver strings, and a detailed white and green skull that she painted on the body. She’d sent you and your sister the entire video of her creation as promised, but you'd only replied with a dry thumbs up emoji. Her suspicions were correct: something serious was going on with you. 

After your sister’s birthday weekend in July, Ellie texted you multiple times to come help her and Dina mix a song and watch movies, but you politely declined saying that you were busy and maybe another time :)! It technically wasn’t a lie: your sister came to your defense when she asked where you were, saying that your trigonometry grade had dropped significantly after your first test, and you were desperate to get it up before your mother noticed. She had accepted that excuse for the first two weeks, but after your sixth reply of busy :( rain check? she got agitated. 

She started pressing your sister about your attitude after the first month without your knowledge, but she swiftly got brushed off with a dude, she's studying at her friend's house, can you relax and pack this bowl for me please? 

Ellie laid in her bed after her hotbox with her friends, confused as to why you were acting so stiff with her so suddenly. Whenever she came over to your house, you locked yourself in your room and didn’t come out to greet her for whatever reason. She had been this close to marching to your house and kicking your bedroom door down herself before she received a notification that you had updated your private story. She clicked it, and played a video of one of your friends with a flyswatter in hand yelling about how she was a world-renowned mosquito killer until the bug started flying around the unfamiliar room. Multiple shrieks, including yours, were heard before the video abruptly ended. 

Ellie swiped up on your story with a quick LOOOOOOL, but she wasn’t laughing. I guess she really was busy doing something, she thought. She felt bad for assuming that you had been purposefully avoiding her, but she was not used to you being unavailable. She was a clingy high, sue her. 

She clicked her phone off and hoped she would see you soon. 

Ellie’s eighteenth birthday had been two weeks away.

Her birthday never felt like her own; Her dad had always made a big deal about the celebration. He spent hours blowing up balloons for her eleventh, baking cupcakes(even though he nearly burned their entire house down) for her fourteenth, and bragged to the cashier at the vinyl shop about how much of an old soul his baby girl was(“Oh this isn’t for me, my daughter is obsessed with the oldies, I really rubbed off on her, she’s turning sixteen tomorrow and I wanna surprise her!”). She’d never complained, though. She’d never say, but she loved seeing him happy more than anything in the world.

However, her attitude towards her eighteenth birthday had been different. She was eager to celebrate her transition into adulthood with the people she loved the most. She knew that she wanted a slasher themed party with blood and gore everywhere. Her inner horror movie fan had been gasping for water for years, and she was finally going to quench her thirst. 

Call her Jason. 

You and your sister were arguing about who would dress up as Scream. 

Ellie had given your sister an invitation to her big eighteenth, and although you were reluctant about going, your guilt had slowly been gnawing at you. The last message that Ellie sent you was almost three weeks ago: a simple miss u, which you left unread. You thought it was strange how no one acknowledged the tension between the two of you, but you hardly understood it yourself, and you began to feel remorseful. 

You owed her an apology, and you planned to do it tonight. 

“You’re not dressing up as Scream, bitch, I’m sorry! I got you this Jack the Ripper cape, try it on.” she said as she threw the cape and top hat on your bed.  

“Jack the Ripper was racist, fact— “

“Most serial killers are! It’s for aesthetic purposes only! There’s no such thing as a moral compass on Halloween.” 

You stared at her with a blank expression, before she resigned, retrieving the fit, “Ugh, fine, go as one of the most iconic slashers in film history, see if I give a damn.” 

“Waaaaaa, you mad.” You said with a laugh. 

She yelled back a DUH! as she marched down the hall and into the bathroom to change. Your mom wasn’t supportive of the slasher costume party, but she stood no chance against your sister’s persuasive pout and googly eyes. 

An hour later, you both were dressed with your gifts in hand as your mother locked the door behind you. You couldn’t begin to imagine the reaction of your neighbors if they peeped out of their windows since Halloween wasn’t for another two weeks. They better not call the fucking cops, that's all I know! your sister shouted out into the quiet neighborhood before you shushed her. 

Despite the anxiety in the pit of your stomach, you were eager to see Ellie. You and your sister had pitched in to get custom-made, embroidered guitar pics as her gift: you were hoping that she liked them. 

It wasn’t long before you made it onto the Miller residence. Your sister scaled the stairs of their front porch like it was a mountain before banging on the door. It shot open seconds later and revealed Dina, dressed as Freddy Krueger, and Jesse as… Saw. 

That mask always made an uncomfortable shiver go down your spine. 

They both pulled you and your sister into tight hugs before pulling you further inside to shut the door. The entire downstairs area was lit with red LED lights with faux cobwebs spread across the kitchen and living room walls. You and your sister almost slipped on the fake blood that was splattered all over the wooden floor. There was a giant bowl of tooth-rotting chocolate and a bag of sour gummies on the counter, right next to the multitude of Jason figurines. There was also eerie music playing from Ellie’s speaker near the TV. 

You couldn’t believe you had a crush on this loser. 

“OH MY FUCKING GOD IM SO FUCKING EXCITED THIS IS GOING TO BE SO MUCH FUN HOLY SHIT— “ 

Your sister, then Dina, had already been trucking back up the stairs, as they released excited squeals, which only ignited more excited squeals from other voices you barely recognized. 

Jesse threw his arms around you as he pulled you inside. 

“Bro, where the fuck have you been, I haven’t seen you in ages!” He said, voice muffled under his mask and over the bass from the speakers.

“I know, I’m sorry, school is crazy right now, but I’m here now,” you said with a smile and just as muffled, walking over to the counter to rip open the sour gummy bag. “Are we supposed to be upstairs or something?” 

“Nah, Cat and Riley, you remember Riley, are finishing up their costumes. They really went all out with the decor though, I was impressed.” 

Your smile fell at the mention of her girlfriend, and you immediately knew that you weren’t going to have fun. You lifted your mask up to shove candied worms into your mouth in attempts to center yourself. 

After ten minutes of ravishing the tart candies on the kitchen barstool, you heard quick, heavy footsteps descend the stairs. 

You turned to see Ellie, Abby, Dina, Riley, Cat, and your sister descend the stairs, jumping excitedly at your get-up, laughing at your mask. You barely had the chance to stand from your seat and greet everyone before Ellie pushed past them to pull you into a rib-cracking hug. You could hardly move to return the gesture.

“I missed you so much, squirt, holy shit,” she whispered into your ear. You would’ve dropped to your knees if it wasn’t for her grip. “Where have you been, are you doing okay?” 

She pulled back slightly to look at your face while both your masks were atop your heads, and you got a good look at her freckled appearance. Her hair was styled in a half bun with multicolored bobby pins holding her bangs back. She was wearing light makeup: her nose and cheeks were gently highlighted, her under eyes had a dark red tinted liner that was smudged with purpose, and she shaved a slit into her eyebrow. She had on a black T-shirt that had been cut and ripped in some parts, black, ripped jeans, and an oversized, dark olive-green flannel. The sleeves were rolled up and you damn near fainted at the subtle lines of an unfinished tattoo peeking out. She also had a plastic version of Jason’s large, bloody machete secured through the belt loop of her jeans. 

Holy shit. 

Your face was burning hot from how close her face was to yours. “Hi El, I’m fine, happy birthday,” you said quietly, half chewing the worms in your mouth. 

You turned to grab her small, wrapped gift box off the counter, softly shoving it into her chest in attempts to distract her from pressing about your whereabouts, and though you noticed her eyebrows pull down in concern, she grabbed the box from your hands before replying a gentle thank you. 

Your sister slapped Ellie on the back, breaking up the moment, begging to change the music genre before dragging her to the living room to unlock her phone. 

I can’t shake ass to this shit, bitch! Change it now!

I NEED A ONE DANCE, GOT A HENNESSY IN MY HAND—

It was almost eleven. Everyone had migrated to the living room after Ellie finally turned off her summoning demons :0 playlist and allowed your sister to shuffle Spotify’s Top 40 from 2016. After Riley skipped every non-Rihanna song for the first thirty minutes, Abby snatched the phone from her hands and put Drake on. They both were on top of the couch, screaming into wooden spoons like they were microphones while Jesse, Dina, and your sister jokingly popped their backs. 

You had fallen back onto a lounge chair to catch your breath from the rigorous jumping you were doing, watching them all sing their lungs out. 

You had the opportunity to briefly speak to Abby, who dressed up as a bloody Esther, during Riley’s incessant song-skipping since you never had the chance to genuinely talk to her. She excitedly told you about how she and Riley had been best friends since fifth grade and they both met Ellie in middle school. She cringed when she reminisced on the memory of Ellie giving Riley a glitter-riddled macaroni card for Valentine’s Day in seventh grade. Abby and Riley both graduated a year before your sister and friends did and were sophomores at Boston University, her pursuing her hockey career and Riley studying neuroscience. 

The shrilling screams of Dina, Abby, and your sister when Single Ladies blasted through the speakers made you jump in your seat before you got up and made your way into the kitchen for water (and more gummies). Babe you’re not single! you heard Jesse yell to Dina. 

You stood at the counter chomping on the sweets, contemplating when would be the best time to speak to Ellie one-on-one. You'd seen her escape onto the back patio, probably to smoke, you thought. You had never been confrontational, and you didn’t want to say something you regretted like hi ellie i’ve been in love with you for years i’m so sorry for ignoring you and iloveyouiloveyou—

Yeah, you’d probably leave with a black eye from her girlfriend if you did that. Just say you're sorry, don’t be selfish, don’t ruin her birthday, don’t ruin her relationship, you thought. now or never. 

After your mental pep talk, you took a sip from your glass and shoved a handful of the candies in your mouth as a center. You made your way to the back door and onto the patio. Hot ass mask, you thought before ripping it off your head and tossing it onto the glass patio table. 

What you weren’t expecting to see was Cat and Ellie already outside having a conversation, and from where you were standing, it looked intense. 

“Why the fuck are you mad about me hugging her when I haven’t seen her in ages?” 

And you froze. 

“Ellie, if you can’t see that she has the biggest crush on you then you're actually delusional,” Cat spat back at her. “And that wasn’t just a regular hug either! You should’ve seen her face when you grabbed her, it looked like she was about to drop to her knees and propose!” 

They couldn’t see you from where you stood and it would’ve been in your best interest to flee before you passed out from embarrassment and loathing, but your feet had been glued to the ground and you were forced to listen to their harsh exchange. 

“First off, watch your mouth, I’m not fucking delusional,” the birthday girl heatedly said back. “And no she didn’t! And even if she did it doesn’t fucking matter. She's a fucking kid!” 

And you’d felt your heart plummet to your feet. 

The remainder of the candies in your mouth felt like sandpaper and you couldn’t swallow. You felt the all too familiar tremors of your hands start to pick up. 

“Listen,” you heard her tone soften. “I’m in love with you, okay? I love you, and I don’t want to be with anyone else. I don’t think about being with anyone else.” 

The sharp gasp you sucked in made both heads turn towards you in shock, and your teary eyes locked with wide, green ones. 

You wanted to fall through the floor and die. 

Cat scoffed and shook her head as if to say see what I mean before she puffed on her—Ellie’s—vape. 

Ellie’s call of your name snapped you out of your stupor, your feet moving before your brain could tell them to, clumsily shuffling your way back into your heartbreaker’s home, sliding the door shut with a loud slam. 

Everyone who’d been dancing jumped at the sound, turning to take in your ruffled state as their energetic smiles slowly dropped in concern. 

“What’s the matter, honey?” Dina said gently over the still loud music. 

Your sister called your name out with worry in her voice. You looked into her eyes with a head shake before you choked out a reply. 

“Can we… I wanna leave, please, now.” 

a/n: heyyyy lol so yeah thats that ig. if anyone even reads or sees this fic plss be nice to me ive never written anything like this b4. idk how long this will be but its def gonna be long,,, lots of ground 2 cover w this universe this game is everything 2 me and so is ellie so ye bye lolz

read pt 2 here :D

[sotvtaughtmehowtofeel]

Tags via @dilf-din

What's currently fucking me up: Tommy's "Joel" when Sarah dies.

Joel didn't see the life leave Sarah, but Tommy did. There is so much pain in that tiny broken sound, too forlorn and weak to be a sob. A kind of implied "stop", because Joel is trying to stop the bleeding, trying to save her, but it's too late. Almost a plea, "Joel she's gone, what do we do now". Tommy has always looked up to Joel, he looked to Joel for what to do at the start of the outbreak. But he knows now that Joel's not gonna know what the hell to do next.