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silent-killer-0227 · 5 years ago

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Love By Chance on CRACK - Part I

100 Love By Chance INCORRECT quotes that might as well be correct.

I do not take any credit on these quotes. All I did was to compile and arrange them in a way that they’d follow a timeline.

ENJOY THE EFFECT OF MY BOREDOM!

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001

Ping: What's your default reaction when you see someone who's just too good-looking for this world?

Pond: I stare.

Pond: I smile.

Pond: Then I put down the mirror.

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002

Pete: What's the first thing you notice when someone comes up to you?

Tin: The audacity.

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003

Ae: You can't make everyone like you. You're not Pete.

Pond: What? Not everyone likes Pete.

Ae: Who doesn't?

Pond: Well -

Ae: Names, now. Give me their names.

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004

Can: That's one of my biggest fears.

Good: What is?

Can: If I ever, like, woke up as a doughnut.

Good, gasping: You would eat yourself?

Can: I would not even hesitate.

Techno: YOU DRAGGED ME OUT OF THE FOOTBALL FIELD JUST TO HEAR THIS?!

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005

Ae: I started school with straight A's.

[ Pete walks by. ]

Ae: Now I'm not even straight.

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006

Techno: I think you should-

Champ: I am not taking advice from someone who pronounces "g" in lasagna

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007

Ae: Can I talk to you for a minute?

Pond: Oh, no... Am I in trouble?

Ae: Take a guess.

Pond: No?

Ae: Take another guess.

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008

Technic: You need a hobby.

Kengkla: I have a hobby.

Technic: Obsessing over my brother isn't a hobby.

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009

Pete: Do you have any bags I can borrow?

Tin: The only bags I have are the ones under my eyes, and they're specifically designed to carry the burden of my existence.

Pete: ...

Pete: A simple 'no' would have sufficed.

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010

Ae: *holds the door open for Pete* After you.

Pete: No, after you.

Ae: I insist, after you.

Pond: *pushes past both of them* After me.

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011

Tin: Love is dead. It never existed. Anyone who thinks otherwise is a fool.

Can: *does something stupid but cute*

Tin: Hold up a second -

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012

Techno: Ae said he has butterflies in his stomach.

Can: Why would he eat butterflies?

Good: How will they come out?

Can: Even I wouldn't dare to eat butterflies.

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013

Ping: So is this thing between Ae and Pete supposed to be a secret?

Pond: Hardly. The only people who don't know Ae loves Pete are Ae and Pete.

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014

Type: Has anyone ever told you that you're damn smart?

Techno, grinning: No.

Type: At least you're surrounded with honest people.

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015

Pond: Ae can't be that good in everything. There's got to be something he's bad at.

Bow: Maybe he's a bad kisser.

Pete: No, he's good at that too.

Pond: ....

Ping: What?

Bow: What?

Pete: What?

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016

Pond: You kissed Pete?

Ae: In my defense, it was dark and Pete was looking utterly adorable.

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017

Tin: Are we fighting or flirting right now?

Can: I just told you I hate you.

Tin: Unclear.

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018

ChaAim: Don't say a word.

Pond: Fergalicious.

ChaAim: I said no words!

Pond: Oh I see how it is. Two weeks ago, playing Scrabble, it wasn't a word, but now it is. How convenient for you.

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019

Can: How come "you're a peach" is a compliment but "you're bananas" is an insult? Why are we allowing fruit discrimination to tear society apart?!

Type: Where do you even come up with these thoughts??

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020

*Techno does something stupid*

Kengkla: What an absolute idiot.

Kengkla: Can’t believe I’d kill for them.

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021

Ae: Pete is really good-looking.

Chompoo: Don't be jealous, P'Ae, you're good-looking too.

Ae: I am not being jealous, Chompoo, I am being gay.

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022

Pete: Will you two stop arguing?

Tin: We're not arguing. We're having a discussion.

Can: We too are having an argument!

Tin: Discussion.

Can: Argument!

Tin: Discussion.

Can: Argument!

Ae: Can't believe they're actually having an argument about if they're having an argument

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023

Officer: Okay, what are your names?

Good: Don't tell him, Can.

Officer, writing it down: Can.

Good: Oh...

Can: Way to go, Good.

Officer: ....

Can: Shit.

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024

Techno: Why are you two holding hands?

Ae: Studies show that holding hands relieve stress.

Techno: Oh, I thought you were dating or something.

Pete: We are. We're also very stressed.

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025

Pete: Are you alright?

Tin: Yes, why?

Pete: You asked the woman at the store if damage repair shampoo also works on emotions.

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026

Can: I wasn't even that drunk.

Lemon: You were watching the television and laughing.

Can: So?

Lemon: The television wasn't even on.

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027

Pond: I dare you to kiss the first person who walks into this room.

Ae: That's stupid. I'm not going to-

[ Pete walks in ]

Ae: Well, I mean, a dare is a dare.

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028

Can: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

Techno: Wasn't Good with you?

Good: In my defense, I was left unsupervised too.

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029

Techno, tearing up: My cramps are so awful. I hate mother nature.

Kengkla: I'll screw mother nature up!

Kengkla: *throws trash everywhere*

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030

Pete: You don't want to admit it but if anyone else is mean to Can, you'd beat them up.

Tin: *scoffs* Not really.

Can, coming into the room with a pout on his face: Pond said he's gonna kick my ass.

Tin, standing up: Not if I kick his first.

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031 ��

Pond: Are you alright?

Ping: Do you feel like you're going to pass out?

Ae, bleeding out: I can't. I have a date with Pete tonight.

Ping: ....

Ping: We need to discuss your priorities.

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032

Pete: I know you actually care for your supposed enemy, Can.

Can, internally: Act dumb.

Can: Who's Can?

Can, internally: not that dumb.

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033

Techno: I miss hanging out with Champ.

Type: Well, I'm still here.

Techno: It's not the same, Type. I can talk to Champ about the things I can't talk with you.

Type: Like?

Techno: Well, for instance, the annoying things you do.

Type, glaring: Techno...

Techno, pointing at Type: See? I can't talk to you.

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034

Technic: You're really bad with boundaries.

Kengkla: Name one boundary I've crossed.

[earlier]

Kengkla, picking the front door lock of No and Nic's house with a paper clip: Hey, can I come in?

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035

Pond: I know I have been talking about ChaAim all morning. But another thing I love about her is she just gets me.

Ae: Can she come get you right now?

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036

Can: What type of person do you like?

Tin: Small-eyed, loves food and football, dumb, sometimes cute, sometimes annoying, overprotective of their friends.

Can: That sounds just like me, except I'm not a girl.

Tin: Did I mention 'dumb'?

Can: Yeah...

Tin: Just making sure.

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037

Bow: Is that a hickey?

Pete: No... It's a mosquito bite.

Ae: *walks in* Hey guys.

Pond: Hi, mosquito.

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038

Techno: Love is dead and never existed. All you did was betray me as I lay sick and festering. You are the definition of dread.

Champ: Are you okay?

Techno: Ai'Can stole my fucking french fries!

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039

Pond: Wanna hear a joke?

ChaAim: Not really.

Pond: Oh, c'mon, please?

ChaAim: Fine.

Pond: Knock knock!

ChaAim: Come in.

Pond: ...

Pond: Seriously…

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040

Pete: Are you sure you aren't dating Tin?

Can: If I am, I certainly wasn't informed of it.

Pond: To be fair, if anyone of us were dating someone without realizing it, it would be you.

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041

Tar: I would die for you.

Tum: I'd die for you first.

Type, shouting across the field: No one here is dying!

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042

Techno: What's up, Ae?

Ae, after another day of dealing with Pond: My blood pressure, Captain.

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043

Tin: I've never had a best friend in my entire life.

Can: I'll be your best friend.

Tin: Now that I think about it, I've never had a boyfriend either.

Can: ...

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044

Ae: You know when I was your age...

Kengkla: You know when I was your height...

Ae: ...

Ae: Listen –

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045

Ae and Pete: *staring at each other lovingly*

Pond: *pops soda can open*

Ae: We were having a moment.

Pond: Yeah, and I'm having a soda.

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046

Can: You like me? You like my personalities?

Tin: That’s a normal reaction. I'm surprised too.

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047

Technic: What's this?

Kengkla: It's my to-do list.

Technic: Wow, that's cool! So you're starting to be-

Technic: ...

Technic: This just says 'Techno'

Kengkla, smirking: Yeah.

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048

Pete: Having something or someone to take care of has the ability to improve your mental health!

Techno: Like a kid?

Pete: Well yeah, or perhaps a plant, or-

Techno: I already have Can and Good and I don't see how it's improving my mental health in the slightest.

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049

Pond, texting: Where are you and Pete?

Ae: WE'RE FUCKING

Ae: GETTING [not delivered]

Ae: SOME LUNCH [not delivered]

Pond: OK, nvm

Ae: NO, WAIT [not delivered]

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050

No: I'm such an idiot.

Nic: ...

No: ...

Nic: ...

No: ...

Nic: If you're waiting for me to argue with you, P', it's gonna be a long night.

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051

Tin: *holding Can's hand*

Pete: FINALLY!

Pond: Who asked who?

Tin: I did. Kept it nice and short.

Can: You yelled, "Listen here, you little shit. I have feelings for you and I know you have feelings for me and it's goddamn time we acknowledge them!" drunk outside my house.

Tin: Nice and short.

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052

Can: Tin and I are no longer friends.

Tin: That's the worst way to admit we're dating, Cantaloupe.

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053

Kengkla: P'No, I think we should be more than friends.

Techno: Best friends?

Kengkla: No, more than that.

Techno: Mega best friends?

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054

Techno: FOUR MONTHS!

Champ: What?

Type: Oh my god, you finally figured it out.

Techno: YOU WATCHED ME WATER A FAKE PLANT-

Champ: Huh...

Techno: - FOR FUCKING FOUR MONTHS!

Type: Your misery brings me a great joy.

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055

Pete: The food's too hot. I can't eat it.

Pond: …

Ping: ...

Ae: you're hot and I'd still eat y-

Bow, slamming her hands on the table: One meal. One peaceful meal is all I ask for.

Click here for PART II

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