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2baabbies · 4 months ago

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🖤 Holding Back from You (hyunchanlix x reader part 3; stray kids x reader)

Crossposted under 2Babbies on Ao3 <3

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 (WIP)

Pairings: established hyunchanlixreader, established background minsung, slight references to past hyunebini?

Words: 16220

Summary: Holding back from you is never easy for Chan. You and your boyfriends are aware of this fact when Chan suggests switching your dynamic and trying a new kink, hoping it might help him destress. You expect a challenge, but you, Felix, and Hyunjin are happy to try anything if it means helping your overworked boyfriend. (song quote and fic title are from Taylor Swift’s ‘Dress’)

Fluff + Smut + Humour + Slight Angst/Comfort

afab+fem!reader

CWs: nsfw, cringe jokes I’m sorry, insecure/burnt out chan, insults/swearing at each other (but with love), drinking alcohol (it’s wine babes; no dubcon they’re not even drunk), crying during sex, “tough love” treatment (might seem mean idk), gratuitous pet names, uhh this fic ended up being hyunchan focused but felix is loved too I promise 🫶🏻

Smut Tags: pegging, mommy/daddy kink (but like, not who you would expect?), discussing kink/kink exploration, dom/sub dynamics (sub!felix trying to dom, dom!chan trying to sub, soft and mean dom!reader, switch!hyunjin), communication during sex, color system for safewords, teasing, begging, praise, slight degradation, chan and felix are a little bratty, some dumbification, choking and breathplay (chan), virginity roleplay (hyunjin), rough sex/manhandling (chan), anal fingering, overstim, dacryphilia?? (no one’s really getting off on it, chan just needs to cry his feels out), chair sex, aftercare (including hyunlix in the background), cunnilingus, unsafe/unprotected sex (this is fiction, don’t be like these fools)

Taglist: @bookswillfindyouaway @rixenluv

🔞 MINORS DNI 🔞

!!ATTENTION!!

Reposting this fic to other platforms, including as a translation or to train AI, is expressly prohibited. Do not copy, alter, or claim this fic as your own. Absolutely no permission is given to anyone to post my works, even with credit, and this fic should only appear on Ao3 or Tumblr under my accounts. Reposting is not only plagiarism, but a direct violation of my wishes as the original writer and owner. Please respect writers and don’t steal!

Likes, reblogs, asks and comments are always welcome and appreciated <3

~~~

‘I’m spilling wine in the bathtub

You kiss my face and we’re both drunk

Everyone thinks that they know us

But they know nothing about

All of this silence and patience, pining in anticipation

My hands are shaking from holding back from you’

The coziness of Chan’s bedroom is unlike anything you have ever experienced. While not quiet, it brings you a certain tranquility that you have never quite been able to capture on your own. The downtime you spend in this room with your boyfriends has turned into little fragments of your own personal Heaven. You look forward to every second you can steal with them between their busy schedules. You are all together now, crammed into Chan’s bed with only the purple lights on the wall to illuminate you. Music is playing in the background, instrumental tracks Chan arranged himself. You recognize some of them as being released songs, and some are still only demos. Waiting for Chan to perfect them and release them to your beloved Stays.

Felix is closest to you, letting you use his chest as a pillow. His brow is furrowed as he reads something on his phone. You could turn your head and easily see his screen, but you are too tired to care. Chan is curled up on his other side, his nose brushing Felix’s shoulder as he mumbles tiredly. His cheek is smushed into the pillow and he is wearing his exhaustion, his face puffier from lack of sleep because of the upcoming album. Hyunjin is spooning him from behind, littering kisses onto his neck and shoulder as they chat drowsily. Their legs are tangled together, and Hyunjin is rubbing soothing circles over Chan’s stomach under his shirt. You are not fully listening to their whispered conversation, but you can see Chan’s playful smile and the slight quirk to Hyunjin’s pouty lips.

Felix speaks and rumbles your ear over his chest, “I don’t know how people only adopt one cat…”

“Stop looking at cats,” Hyunjin orders.

“But this one is named Sprinkle and she has a sister named Cupcake…”

“Baby,” You whisper, “You’re just gonna make yourself sad. You know you can’t adopt a kitten right now.”

“I could…”

Chan chuckles. You hear clattering and shouting in the kitchen as Jisung and Changbin begin to argue over something.

“I don’t think you should subject an animal to our chaos. It’s bad enough y/n has to deal with it.”

Hyunjin raises his head to frown at Chan.

“Are you comparing our girlfriend to a pet?”

“No,” Chan mutters.

“Meow,” You offer.

“She’s certainly as cute as a kitten,” Felix says.

“Am I?”

You flutter your eyelashes and Hyunjin sighs dreamily, nestling back into his spot with Chan.

“Yeah, my kitten,” Felix replies.

“I’ll be your kitten.”

“Discord kitten?”

Felix smirks at you and Hyunjin groans.

“Ugh, you ruined it.”

Chan snorts as you move to straddle Felix’s lap. Small hands come to rest on your back as you nuzzle your noses together.

“Anything for you, daddy.”

“No,” Hyunjin whines, “Don’t enable him.”

Felix tilts his head, his eyes glinting dangerously.

“Anything?”

Chan smacks your bottom, making you squeak and squirm in Felix’s lap.

“Be good, you two.”

“I didn’t do anything,” You whine, pouting at Felix.

Felix hums and squeezes your plush flesh where Chan had hit you.

“Poor kitten, he’s so mean to you.”

He, rather shamelessly, gropes your backside. You huff and reach back to grab his hands, halting his actions.

“Stop feeling me up.”

“You feel so good, though. I should make you my new stress ball.”

“Ugh, that’s the worst thing you’ve ever said!”

You move his hands up your back as they all laugh at your disappointment. You slump forward and Felix pulls you closer. He pecks a chaste kiss to the top of your head, a peace offering after his mischievous behavior. There is a long pause, a heavy silence that falls over the four of you. It is the kind of silence that usually melds into more silence, and leaves you feeling assured that there is nothing left unsaid. Today the silence does not carry on. You hear a sharp inhale from Chan before he quietly begins another conversation.

“I want to do something.”

“Like what?” Hyunjin replies.

“Like… a kink thing.”

“Right now?” Felix questions.

Chan is already flushed, but he quickly dissolves into a flustered mess at the bold assumption.

“N-Not now… Just… sometime soon, maybe…”

“What is it?” You ask.

The amount of kink exploration you and Chan had done together was not entirely extensive, but you thought you knew all of his preferences and aversions. The line for comfort was still vague in your relationships with Felix and Hyunjin though. Sure, you had established your boundaries at the start of sleeping together, but you were lovers now and were exploring uncharted territory. You can see Chan’s hesitation to continue, and his cautious glance at the bedroom door to ensure the others would not hear his soft confession.

“It’s, um… I’ve just been thinking of like… d-daddy kink stuff.”

You smile fondly at the nervous pitch in Chan’s tone. It is understandable why he would hesitate to bring it up; your group had only ever used ‘daddy’ as a joke. It was a bit of a joke to Chan himself, but you are suspecting now there was some truth behind his façade of mocking it.

“Oh?” Felix prompts, instantly intrigued by the suggestion.

Hyunjin nuzzles Chan’s neck and mumbles, “Oh, that’s not so bad. You’re so anxious, I thought you wanted to try something really extreme. Like, a car battery hooked to your nipples or something.”

You burst out laughing at Hyunjin’s chaotic remark and Felix stares at him, bewildered at what he just said. Chan is still in his own head, and still on course to ramble an explanation for himself.

“B-But not like the usual way. Like the opposite way.”

“What do you mean?” Hyunjin asks.

“L-Like, you don’t call me daddy. I call you daddy… o-o-or m-mommy- whatever you prefer… I think i-it might help me destress. But if it sounds like too much it’s fine, I just want to talk about it a bit- we don’t have to do anything.”

There is a pause that makes Chan hide his face in the crook of Felix’s neck. Felix pecks the top of his head while you give him a patient pat on the arm.

“Chan, do you want to bottom?” Felix eventually asks.

You have to laugh at the abruptness of it, and try to stifle it with your hand when Chan nods shyly into his shoulder. Hyunjin tsks and leaves a butterfly kiss on Chan’s shoulder as he murmurs:

“That’s what you’re nervous about? What, you think Felix and I can’t top you?”

“N-No, I just… I’m always domming everyone, so like… I didn’t want you to be disappointed.”

“Oh, Channie,” You coo.

“We wouldn’t be disappointed,” Felix assures, “And we’re happy to switch things up for you. Whoever you need, we want to make you feel good.”

Hyunjin hums in agreement.

“You always do it for us. Felix and I can manage to switch it up for you.”

You pout.

“What about me? Is pegging not on the table?”

Chan snickers and peeks up as you straighten in Felix’s lap and cross your arms. The youngest stares in confusion, only slightly less offended by your outburst than when Hyunjin brought up the car battery. Hyunjin in turn looks mildly perturbed.

“Since when do you peg us?” He asks.

“Since- whenever- I’ve pegged Channie before.”

“When?”

“I don’t know! A while ago!”

“You never peg me!”

“You never asked!”

“Alright, alright,” Felix interrupts, “Let’s put a pin in this. This is about Chan right now. We’ll come back to pegging later.”

Chan is laughing hysterically at you and Hyunjin as you throw your arms up in frustration. Your boyfriend glares softly in retaliation.

“We will be coming back to this,” Hyunjin asserts, “You were saying, Chan?”

Chan rolls onto his back, no longer hiding but still undeniably embarrassed by the conversation.

“Ah… I don’t like asking for what I want… I feel too… needy.”

“Do you know what you want?” You ask.

He shifts.

“Maybe…”

Hyunjin rests his head over Chan’s heart and lets one of his hands slip under the fabric covering his abs once again. Your mind gets sidetracked imagining Chan’s pattering heart, and how hot his flushed skin must be right now.

“You said you needed to destress,” Felix prompts, “Did you want us to treat it like a special occasion? Make it part of a selfcare day, or something?”

Chan strokes Hyunjin’s arm as he considers the option, then he nods hesitantly.

“Yeah, I think so… Um, it would be great if we were alone.”

“We can handle that,” Hyunjin assures, “We’ll make sure we have the house to ourselves.”

“Total privacy,” You reiterate, “No sneaking around. You’ll be able to fully let go.”

Chan swallows as he nods at the promise.

“Right.”

“Anything else, Channie?” Felix invites.

“No… I just want to make sure you’re all okay with it. If it’s too weird we don’t have to do it.”

“I’m into it,” You reply.

“Yeah, I’d be good with trying it,” Felix agrees.

“It’s not too weird, baby. We’re all comfortable, what’s important is that you’re ready to trust us,” Hyunjin says.

“I am… It’s just so hard for me to calm down lately. I-If there’s something you can do to make me relax before we try it, I think it would help a lot.”

“We’ll take care of you, Channie,” You purr, caressing his cheek, “We’ll be gentle with you. You’ll love it, I promise.”

“Thank you…”

“Just let us take care of it,” Hyunjin adds, “You can just sit back and look pretty.”

“Ah… You know that’s not always one of my strengths…”

“You can do it,” Felix insists, “You’ve got the looking pretty part mastered already.”

Chan shakes his head, then whines when Hyunjin tucks his face into his neck and begins littering kisses there.

“Channie you’re so cute, what do you mean?”

“A-Ah, I dunno…”

He squirms from the attention Hyunjin is giving him. Your head perks up as Jisung enters the room.

“Yo, what are you guys doing?”

“Talking about pegging,” You answer nonchalantly.

Felix chokes while Hyunjin stops his assault on Chan’s neck to sit up and point at you.

“We will be talking about it. Prepare yourself.”

“Okay.”

“I’m serious.”

Jisung clicks his tongue.

“Well, alright. Supper is ready, you sexy freaks. Come get it before Bin eats it all.”

Hyunjin leaves one last kiss on Chan’s cheek before scooting off the bed. Chan makes a show of wiping his neck and face clean before the three of you follow your boyfriend out of the room.

It is later that same week that you, Felix, and Hyunjin put your plan into action. Chan is preoccupied in his bedroom, headphones on as he works away at his laptop. You peek in his doorway, noting his comfy sweats and the large black hoodie he threw on before resigning himself to editing his newest tracks. He does not notice you, too immersed in his work, so you find your other boyfriends in Hyunjin’s room and give them a thumbs up.

“He’s very stressed.”

Felix snorts.

“Why did that get a thumbs up?”

“Because this would be the perfect time to help him destress?”

Hyunjin throws a mocking thumbs up.

“Our boyfriend is having a bad time.”

Felix follows suit.

“Our boyfriend has anxiety!”

“Okay, dicks.”

You are still smiling despite their jokes. They meet you in the doorway, and Felix nods down the hall.

“I’ll take care of Han, if you two can get rid of Bin?”

“Can do,” Hyunjin whispers.

He follows your lead to the kitchen, where Changbin is making a snack. Hyunjin quietly leans against the counter, failing to look casual as he poses suavely. You roll your eyes at his shenanigans and clear your throat before speaking up.

“Hey, Bin.”

Changbin looks over his shoulder, assesses Hyunjin’s pose, then nods at you.

“Oh, hey.”

“What are you up to?”

“Just going to eat something then head to the gym for a bit. You?”

You smirk at Hyunjin as he tries to lounge against the counter, and instead accidentally knocks over a metal bowl that loudly clangs when it hits the floor. Changbin slowly turns, his brow gently furrowed as Hyunjin scrambles to tidy it up.

“We’re, uh,” Hyunjin clears his throat, “We’re just gonna hang out here.”

“Oh yeah? Doing what?”

Changbin smiles innocently, but you see a knowing glint in his eyes when Hyunjin blushes at the question.

“You know. Doing something special together.”

“Something sexy?”

Hyunjin sputters.

“Maybe,” You tease.

“And you didn’t invite me?”

You cock your eyebrow up and look at Hyunjin, who falters before responding, “I didn’t know… You’d be into it…”

Changbin rolls his eyes.

“Well, you know, I’m open-minded?”

You giggle as Hyunjin covers his face and Changbin casually begins packing up his snack.

“Well, Bin, why don’t we talk about it sometime? Maybe then we’ll ask you to join us?” You offer.

Changbin keeps his back to you, but you can see the tips of his ears reddening.

“U-Um, it’s okay…”

Hyunjin tilts his head as Changbin finishes and steps past you swiftly, his head lowered to hide his flushed cheeks.

“I’ll, uh, spend some extra time at the gym. Stay out of your way.”

“You may want to catch a movie after that. Just to be safe,” You suggest playfully.

“Ah. Understood.”

Jisung leans in the doorway with his overnight bag as Changbin exits, and calls after him:

“Min’s on his way, if you want a drive. And, you know, somewhere to sleep for the night.”

“Yeah, I’ll be ready in a second.”

Jisung faces you and Hyunjin then shakes his head.

“Sexy freaks.”

“Takes one to know one,” Hyunjin shoots back.

Jisung grins and blows him a kiss before walking away.

Once Changbin and Jisung have left, you and Felix take on the task of separating Chan from his laptop while Hyunjin takes care of other matters. You enter Chan’s room carefully. He is on the floor now, back supported against his bed as he listens to his work. You can see him replaying the track on loop, brow furrowed as he searches for the missing piece. Felix kneels on the bed, drawing Chan’s attention as he feels the shift behind him. He looks over his shoulder and smiles, pulling down his headphones to hear you.

“Hey.”

“Hi, baby,” You greet as you sit beside him.

Felix sits behind him and dances his fingers over his shoulders before finding a troublesome knot and working at it. You caress Chan’s arm and offer him a sympathetic smile as he sighs and slumps in his spot.

“Tired?” Felix asks.

“No… just frustrated…”

You slide your hand over to rub his chest, your gaze softening as his eyebrows pinch.

“Ready for a break?” You suggest.

“Um… maybe a short one.”

He notes the silent agreement that happens when you and Felix lock eyes.

“Ah.”

“Channie,” Felix begins, as you slowly close his laptop and pull it from his lap, “This can wait until tomorrow, yeah?”

“U-Um, m’not sure…”

Felix is still working away his tension, humming softly to himself as he targets a particularly difficult spot. You feign disappointment, tsking in Chan’s ear before you gently catch his lobe between your teeth. He groans, lets you nip behind his jawline and tease his earrings with light flicks of your tongue.

“Please, Channie?”

“Mhm, well…”

You leave his side, hiding his laptop in his dresser drawer as Felix speaks in his ear.

“You deserve a break. Come on, let’s go.”

Chan offers little protest, he knows how futile it is at this point. When he stands you return to his side and take his hands, guiding him to follow you down the hall. Felix follows close behind. He loops his arms around Chan’s middle and pecks the back of his head with each step. You lead Chan to the bathroom, where Hyunjin has been hard at work.

A steamy bubble bath is waiting for Chan when you enter. Hyunjin is changing through playlists on his phone, stuck on making a decision when the three of you enter. He is wearing nothing but a pair of black silk pajama pants, giving you clear view of his muscled upper body and a not so subtle peek at the outline of his cock under the fabric. Chan pauses to drink him in before shyly looking away.

“You didn’t have to do all this… for me…”

“Oh trust, there’s more,” Felix sings.

You tug gently at the bottom of Chan’s sweater and kiss his shoulder.

“Strip down, baby. We have lots planned for you.”

“Oh, I forgot,” Hyunjin curses himself, “Hold on.”

He decides on a playlist and breezes out of the room while Chan pulls off his sweater. He chuckles when Felix snaps the band of his sweats.

“Don’t wait on him. Get to it, please.”

“Wow, bossy.”

“I said please.”

Chan obliges, strips himself down and eases himself into the tub with a giggle when you take his hand and help him in. You kiss the top of his head as Felix undresses, then comes to sit behind him in the water. They settle in and you perch on the edge of the tub to admire them when Hyunjin returns. He holds an open bottle of wine and two nice glasses between his fingers.

“Oh, Jin,” Chan protests, “Don’t waste your good stuff on me.”

Hyunjin gapes.

“It would not be a waste, and I decide what occasions are worth my wine.”

You roll your eyes.

“He means: this moment is special and we thought a glass might mellow you out. But if you don’t want it, or you don’t want us to drink, we can save it for another time.”

Chan chuckles.

“No, wine is good. I’ll have some. It, uh, still feels a bit excessive to bring it out just for me.”

“Just for you,” Felix breathes as he bunches his hair in one hand and reaches the other out to Hyunjin, “You’re adorably humble sometimes, you know, Chris?”

Hyunjin hands him a hair tie then gives you and Chan the two glasses of wine. Chan only blushes and takes a sip to avoid the compliment, while you inspect the maroon liquid sloshing around in your glass.

��Candles,” Hyunjin announces, speaking his thoughts, “It’s time for candles.”

Chan laughs as Hyunjin leaves the room again. You take a sip of your glass then hand it off to Felix, who takes a generous swig before smacking a wet kiss to Chan’s shoulder blade.

“Relax, babe. Lean back a bit. I’ve got you.”

Chan lets out a dramatic little sigh but obeys the order. He lets Felix pull him so his head is resting in his shoulder, and so he sinks more into the water. Felix’s arm wraps tight around his middle. Chan leaves his wine glass on the edge of the tub, and lets himself unwind a little more. You giggle when Felix tilts his head back to take another sip, then nuzzles his nose into Chan’s hair.

“You’re overdue for a good break.”

Chan sighs.

“Seems that way…”

Hyunjin enters the room again with a flourish, dropping a handful of pretty candles on the sink and brandishing a lighter. Chan pinches the bridge of his nose but stifles his complaints. You gather some bubbles from the water and teasingly blow them at Hyunjin. He whips around and flicks the lighter in your direction, three times, until it catches.

“Hey!”

“No,” Chan scolds, “Please, no.”

“We’re supposed to be helping Chan relax,” Felix adds, “What the hell guys?”

“Don’t bring bubbles to a lighter fight,” Hyunjin defends.

“Don’t light your girlfriend on fire,” You argue.

Hyunjin lights the candles and casts a glance at you over his shoulder.

“Aren’t you going to get changed?”

“Oh, right. I just wore it under my pjs.”

Chan’s eyebrow lilts slightly.

“‘It?’”

You stand and pull off your top, revealing the bra of your lingerie set. You grin as you catch their attention, Hyunjin even pauses for a moment to give you an once over before continuing his candle lighting. You shimmy your bottoms off and fluff the skirt as it comes untucked. The black satin set is a one-piece, with lace details along the sides. The top is secured in the front with a large bow of ribbon, and tied around your waist is the silky skirt giving the illusion of a dress. You do a little spin and pose as Chan’s hungry eyes take you in.

“Baby, how long were you hiding that from us?”

“Wasn’t a secret for Jinnie or Lix. Look, we match,” You say, tugging at Hyunjin’s pants and gesturing to your own fabric.

“You do. You look lovely.”

“You like it, baby?”

“I do.”

“Good,” Hyunjin purrs as he sets some of the candles on the corner of the tub, “We got something for you as well.”

Felix interrupts Chan as he opens his mouth:

“Don’t say we shouldn’t have. You deserve it, and it’s a treat for us too.”

Chan smiles wryly and responds, “I’m looking forward to it.”

“Good answer,” Felix whispers.

“Now,” Hyunjin states when he finishes arranging the candles to his liking, “I have some things to finish setting up in my bedroom. I’ll leave you with our darlings to get nice and relaxed, and I’ll come get you when it’s ready. Deal?”

Hyunjin leans down to share a sweet kiss with Chan, who hums in agreement. Hyunjin rests one hand on his chest, then lets it wander up to his shoulder.

“Oh, Channie, you’re still so tense. Why don’t you let Lixie massage that out, hm?”

“Ah, o-okay.”

Hyunjin smiles and takes his leave, turning off the lights as he exits the room. The candles are all that remain to dimly illuminate the space. Felix takes another sip of his wine before handing the glass back to you. You take a seat on the edge of the tub and cross your legs, then prop yourself up with an arm behind you as you watch the two of them. Felix cracks his knuckles and hums in thought as his palms slide over Chan’s shoulders.

“Let’s see, where should I start? What’s sore, baby?”

“Honestly, everywhere is.”

Felix chuckles.

“Oh, well I’ll just start here… and then I’ll make my way everywhere else, hm? Sound good?”

Chan laughs breathlessly and nods.

“Yeah… Thank you.”

“Don’t need to thank me.”

Felix begins his careful but firm massage of Chan’s muscles. He is diligent in the task, only pausing to peck kisses and murmur sweet praises with each knot he works through. Chan’s brow furrows a bit, and he cannot help the little moans and grunts that Felix draws with his deft hands. You leisurely sip your wine and watch them over the glass, locking eyes with Chan as he melts from the attention.

“Drink your wine, honey,” You instruct gently.

Chan’s eyelids flutter and he nods as he picks up the glass and shakily brings it to his lips. You can see his composure cracking as Felix successfully works out the weeks of stress that have literally been weighing on his shoulders. You tilt your head as Chan sighs softly and lets his head fall back on Felix’s shoulder. Felix takes the opportunity to kiss his neck, and smiles into it as Chan groans.

“Feel better?” You ask.

“M’yeah.”

Felix slides his hands around his middle and tentatively squeezes his chest. You giggle as one of his hands slips down to prod at his ribs, while the other cups over his heart.

“Felix.”

“Yes?”

“Stop grabbing me there.”

Felix slides his hands down, but still dances his fingers teasingly over Chan’s sides.

“You don’t like it? You have such pretty tits Chan.”

You wear a satisfied smile when Chan flushes, rosy from his face all the way down his torso where his lower half disappears into the soapy water. He goes to take another sip of his drink and squirms when Felix begins tracing the lines of his abdomen.

“So, so, pretty Channie.”

“Mhm.”

“Don’t you agree?”

Chan looks expectantly at you, but you only cock your eyebrow.

“Answer him, lovely.”

“Oh,” Chan stutters, “U-Uh, I guess. If you think so.”

“Tch, baby,” Felix sighs in Chan’s ear, “You’re so perfect. I just want to hear you say it.”

Felix’s hands begin roaming lower, under the water. Chan’s breath hitches and his legs part on instinct. You can see Felix teasing him, ghosting his touch over his thighs and expertly avoiding Chan’s arousal. Felix continues:

“I want you to say it, Chan. Tell me how pretty you are, then I’ll give you what you want.”

Chan swallows thickly and looks at you. You gaze at him through your eyelashes as you lazily drop one of your hands into the water. You do the same as Felix, groping and lightly scratching the inside of his thigh then doing nothing more.

“Don’t you want us to touch you, Chan?” You prompt.

Chan inhales deeply and turns his face to the side, unable to look at either of you as he considers the task.

“You’ll… touch… I just have to say it?”

“Just say it,” Felix assures, “And be a good boy. We’ll do whatever you ask.”

“A-Ah, okay,” Chan whispers, “Mh-Mhm, m’pretty…”

You laugh softly.

“Again, baby. Tell us more.”

“Hah… I don’t… Can’t…”

“Sure you can,” Felix teases, “You always say it to us. Certainly, you can say it about yourself?”

Chan shakes his head.

“Mhm…”

“‘Channie is so, so, pretty,’” You purr, “Can you repeat that? Say it nice and loud for us?”

You pat his leg and retract your hand from the water. Chan whimpers and ducks his head, squeezing his eyes shut when you grab his chin and tilt his head up again.

“Ch-Channie’s… S-So pret-ty…”

“Good boy,” You coo.

Chan huffs as Felix’s hands remain unmoving.

“Y-You’re not seriously going to make me say it again?”

Felix grins.

“Of course not, that was perfect.”

“Th-then why-”

“I told you, we’ll do what you ask. I haven’t heard you ask for it.”

“Felix, please, touch me.”

Chan jolts as Felix fulfills his request. His hips buck as Felix strokes his length, making him fill out in his hand. He groans as Felix grabs his hips and pulls him flush against him.

“You like that?”

“M-Mhm.”

You watch the smirk grow on Felix’s face before he whispers, “Yeah? Tell daddy how much you like it.”

“Oh, fuck,” Chan gasps.

His wine glass topples, and you catch it before it can shatter on the porcelain. This does not save the contents from spilling into the tub, red swirling in the soapy water. Chan shudders and watches it through his lashes as Felix kisses up his neck. You set the empty glass aside and sip your wine.

“I’m waiting,” Felix insists.

Chan groans.

“I like it, Lix. Feels good.”

“Hm? Again?”

Chan curses under his breath at the torturous rhythm enveloping his cock.

“Lix- d-daddy- I like it.”

His body quivers when you grab his chin and tilt his head up to face you.

“Spilled your wine, baby.”

“I-I know, m’sorry.”

“It’s okay, I can share.”

You lovingly brush away a stray hair curling against his forehead. You take a mouthful of wine then lean in to kiss Chan. He moans and returns it eagerly, allowing some of the drink to seep from the corner of his lips. You can feel it run down his chin, and catch his wrist when he reaches up to wipe it away. You draw back with a teasing smile as the red drips down his chest.

“You’re making a mess, honey.”

Chan is given no chance to consider his reply. Felix turns his head and licks his chin clean. Chan groans and watches Felix trail messy kisses down his chest to lap up the stray drops.

“Wow,” Hyunjin voices from the doorway, “Are you having fun?”

Chan whimpers as Felix paws at his chest. Hyunjin comes to stand behind you, leaning against the wall as he observes with you. You wordlessly hand him your glass to finish it off while you watch Chan’s reactions. He squirms when Felix laps at his nipple, then arches his back when Felix’s hands settle around his waist instead of jerking him off.

“Please… Pl-ease, Lix…”

Felix chuckles, a little meanly and looks up to study Chan’s fucked out expression.

“Learn some patience, baby.”

Felix threads his fingers in the dampened curls at the base of Chan’s neck and guides him into a kiss. Chan makes another pitiful sound and turns to meet him properly for it, caging Felix between his arms as he follows him up against the wall. For a second, you think he might try to take the lead, but Hyunjin spoils his plans by running a hand over his broad shoulders then pulling him away from Felix. Felix huffs and pinches his tongue between his teeth as he watches Hyunjin lean in to whisper in Chan’s ear.

“I’m sorry to interrupt, baby. It’s time to get out and see what else we have planned for you.”

Chan nods, sits back to give Felix space to get out of the bath. Hyunjin helps Felix out, giving you the opportunity to guide Chan closer to you. He rests his head against your side, then sinks down to nuzzle your thigh as you run your fingers through his hair. You loop your arm over his shoulder and give him a gentle pat.

“Good, baby?”

“Tired… and hard.”

You laugh and slide your hand to his chin to tilt his head up.

“We’ll take care of you. Don’t worry, sweetheart.”

Chan swallows and nods, eyes fluttering as you carefully close your grip around his throat. Felix smirks as he leaves in a towel, and Hyunjin begins the task of blowing out the candles.

“M’so lucky to have you,” Chan confesses, his eyes soft and searching as you gaze down at him in the dim light.

“We’re lucky to have you too, Chan. We wouldn’t have each other without you.”

He blinks slowly, his eyes glassy as your words settle in.

“It’s true,” Hyunjin agrees, “You’ve brought so much love into our lives. You’re amazing, Chan.”

You caress Chan’s cheek as he smiles bashfully.

“M’not… not that amazing…”

“Yes you are,” Hyunjin argues, “And we’re going to show you. Come here.”

Chan laughs as he extends his arms to Hyunjin, who guides him out of the water with a fond smile. He quickly hands him a fluffy towel and uses another to pat him dry. You ease up from your perch, setting Chan’s forgotten wine glass next to Hyunjin’s on the sink counter. When you turn back, Hyunjin and Chan are kissing. Chan’s arms are looped around his back, pulling him closer as their lips melt together. Hyunjin drops the towel he was holding then slides his hands up Chan’s front, before they settle on his broad shoulders. Slowly, they part and Hyunjin sighs. He takes Chan’s face in his hands and confirms his gaze before gently speaking.

“Are you okay? Still good?”

“Mhm, m’good.”

“We can stop whenever you need to, honey. Okay? We can just cuddle or take a break if you get tired.”

Chan nods.

“Thank you. I’ll let you know.”

Hyunjin grins.

“Let’s go, Lix is waiting for us.”

Chan catches your attention before leaving. You meet him for a sweet kiss then pat his bottom gently to usher him into the hall.

Felix is waiting in the bedroom when the three of you enter, playing on his phone. He is lounging in the middle of the bed, wearing the silk button-up that matches Hyunjin’s pants and a pair of boxers. The shirt is big, just barely covers his firm thighs and gives the illusion of nothing underneath when Felix shifts to sit up. He sets his phone aside and smirks when Chan pauses to take him in. You hear his sharp inhale and watch his eyes drink in every sliver of Felix’s skin not covered in the black fabric. Felix has left the top buttons undone to tease you all with a peek at his chest.

You giggle and push Chan toward the bed. He stumbles forward with a grunt, and lets you spin him around before he falls on the edge of the bed. He blinks up at you when you cup his cheeks, then shudders under your gaze. Felix moves in behind him, wraps his arms around his middle and pulls his back to his chest. Felix winks at you then teasingly pecks Chan’s ear.

“Mhm, how are you feeling?”

Chan swallows and responds gruffly.

“G-Good…”

Felix chuckles and lets his hands roam over Chan’s chest. Chan sighs and leans back, fully relaxing into Felix’s embrace. His head falls back into the crook of his arm as Felix cradles him gently and gazes down at him.

“You took so long to come in here. Did ya miss me?”

Chan’s eyes twinkle. In moments like this he would usually grin and respond with a flirty quip that would disarm Felix’s cockiness. This time his lip trembles before he whispers his response.

“Yes…”

Felix smiles and offers a sympathetic hum before kissing Chan’s forehead. Chan’s eyebrows pinch gently and he melts at the gesture. His fingers curl in the silk shirt and he lets his eyes flutter shut, pouting gently as Felix presses more lingering kisses over his face. You watch Hyunjin observe them before retrieving a gift box from beside the bed. You ease onto the bed beside them and rest your hand on Chan’s warm chest, feeling his erratic heartbeat. Chan whimpers when Felix finally kisses him deeply on his lips.

“Missed you too,” Felix murmurs, “My sweetheart.”

Chan takes a shuddery breath when Hyunjin straddles his lap. Felix leans back and lets Chan slump against him. Chan groans gently as Hyunjin leans forward and pecks his lips sweetly. Chan’s hazy eyes glance over the box when Hyunjin breaks away. You can see the protest forming in his mind before Hyunjin gently places his finger over his lips.

“My lovely boy,” Hyunjin purrs.

Chan moans softly and squeezes his eyes shut. He shivers and nods, encouraging Hyunjin to continue. Hyunjin smirks as Chan squirms beneath him in anticipation, and that delicious warmth creeps across his skin. Chan whines when you cup his chin and tease your thumb across his plush bottom lip.

“You’re such a good boy,” You whisper.

Hyunjin hums and grazes his hand against Chan’s cheek as he admires his embarrassed expression.

“Don’t you agree? Chan?”

Chan laughs softly as Felix’s hands begin roaming over his sides.

“Y-Yeah…”

Hyunjin slides his hand down to cup the back of Chan’s neck. His eyes finally flutter open, and his breath catches as your fingers slip through his hair.

“You’re going to be good for us?” Hyunjin continues.

Chan whimpers and jolts at the stimulation of all of your hands on him. He nods, exhaling a shaky breath as Hyunjin begins opening the box. Felix lovingly rubs his hand over Chan’s abs as Hyunjin pulls a black leather choker from the box. Chan shakily inhales as your hand caresses his flushed neck.

“Do you like it?” You ask softly.

Hyunjin takes his time unfastening the loop as Chan collects himself.

“I do…”

“It’s special, just for you,” Hyunjin murmurs.

Chan nods as Hyunjin gently fastens the choker around his neck. The leather connects at the front of the collar with a loose chain and a heart-shaped loop. Hyunjin hooks his finger into that loop with a soft smirk as Chan’s face burns from the attention.

“Suits you,” Felix whispers as he gently scratches his nails over Chan’s bare chest.

Chan makes a soft sound and looks up with loving eyes. Hyunjin pulls slowly, guiding Chan to straighten up as the collar tightens around his neck. Hyunjin teases him with a peck on the forehead and secures the chain between his fingers.

“You’re such a pretty boy,” Hyunjin praises, making Chan’s hips jump beneath him, “So pretty.”

“Yeah,” Chan breathes.

Hyunjin chuckles and keeps Chan in place as he tilts his head up to meet his gaze.

“Remember what I said?”

Chan blinks as he tries to form a response, a little dazed at the pressure around his neck.

“Mhn…”

“I promised to show you how amazing you are. Are you ready?”

“Yes, please.”

“So polite,” Hyunjin coos as he pecks his lips, “So good for mommy.”

Chan hesitates as he registers Hyunjin’s words. You and Felix smirk and move off the bed as Hyunjin grabs Chan’s shoulders and kisses him, shoving him onto the mattress in the process. Chan moans and grabs Hyunjin’s hips as they roll against his. He returns the kiss eagerly and lets out a muffled groan as Hyunjin tugs on the chain. Chan tenses for a few seconds then relaxes, writhing slowly and desperately moaning underneath Hyunjin. Hyunjin pulls back with a sigh as Chan pants heavily. Hyunjin attempts to move in again but pauses when Chan puts his hand on his chest. Hyunjin’s eyes widen and he swallows thickly.

“Are you okay? Was that too much?”

Chan laughs breathlessly.

“N-No- yeah, but- j-just need a second…”

Hyunjin hesitantly brushes a curl out of Chan’s face, visibly worried when Chan grasps his wrist. Chan ducks his flushed face and huffs softly. Hyunjin watches patiently as Chan wipes his free hand over his face, then his face dawns with realization.

“Oh…”

Chan mumbles something, causing you and Felix to gently move in to hear him.

“What was that, Chris?” Felix whispers, voice careful and sweet.

“I… came…”

“Oh,” You echo, grinning at Hyunjin as he suppresses a humble smile.

Chan huffs out a laugh as Felix pats his chest.

“I guess you liked it?”

“I-I wasn’t expecting… him to call himself…”

Hyunjin eases off Chan’s lap and gingerly removes his towel, carefully wiping him clean.

“Mommy?”

Chan shudders and nods. You guide his head to rest on your thigh and run your thumb over the bridge of his nose as he catches his breath. Hyunjin tosses the towel on the bed carelessly and leans back with a sigh, tangling his legs with Chan’s as he looks him over.

Hyunjin smirks softly and murmurs, “Sorry I’m so sexy.”

“M’sorry…”

Felix frowns and braces his arms on either side of Chan, forcing his gaze.

“Why are you sorry?”

Chan covers his face with his hand, interrupting your soothing touch.

“I don’t know, I’m embarrassed…”

You pull his hand away so Felix can peck his forehead before assuring him.

“Don’t be, baby… You didn’t do anything wrong…”

Hyunjin gently strokes Chan’s leg with a fond smile, watching as Felix pecks kisses down to Chan’s chest and you lovingly trace his jawline. Chan is still flushed from all the attention, and looks up at you with a heavy gaze. You give him a reassuring smile and pet his cheek.

“Why don’t you take a little break?”

“I think that would be best…”

Hyunjin hums in agreement.

“We haven’t been very fair to you, have we? Is it too much attention, baby?”

Chan hums softly, nuzzling his cheek against your lap as Felix sits up.

“He deserves it, though,” Felix assures, smirking as Chan shakes his head, “Don’t worry, Chan. You’re still our good boy.”

Chan laughs shyly.

“Stop…”

You giggle and let him turn to hide his face in your skirt. Felix rubs his back and snuggles closer to him.

“Mhm, but Chris…”

“N-No ‘but Chris’, be good…”

“Daddy doesn’t have to be good.”

“Oh my god…”

“Okay,” You cut in, playfully pushing Felix away, “Don’t overwhelm him. Come here, baby.”

You lead Chan to rest his head in the pillows and tuck him under the blanket, all the while glaring softly at Felix as he smiles smugly and rolls his eyes. You smirk and kiss Chan’s temple as you pat his chest.

“Just relax, baby.”

Chan laughs softly and rubs your arm drowsily.

“I’m very relaxed.”

You turn to face Hyunjin and Felix, noting the shudder that runs through the former when your eyes flick between them. Hyunjin is fidgeting now, anxiously avoiding your gaze. You snap your fingers then beckon Felix closer, which makes him blink in surprise.

“Lix, Hyune and I have something to take care of. Can you cuddle Channie- and be good?”

Hyunjin shudders and watches Felix begrudgingly crawl up beside your boyfriend.

“I’m always good…”

Chan snorts when Felix collapses in his arms and happily nuzzles his neck.

“You’re a little monster,” Chan mumbles, eyelashes fluttering as Felix settles in against him.

“Well, you’re gay.”

Chan wheezes.

“Real mature…”

You pat Felix’s bottom and quip, “Says the one dressed like Winnie the Pooh.”

Chan and Hyunjin cackle as Felix bats you away, then pulls his shirt down to better cover his ass.

“Shut up and put your dick on.”

You giggle and step away from the bed, not without catching the perplexed look on Chan’s face and Hyunjin’s breathless chuckle.

“Oh, so… pegging?” Chan concludes.

Hyunjin flusters and falls forward on the bed, curling into a ball and hiding his face in the blanket.

“Don’t be so casual about it!”

Chan blinks slowly, obviously not expecting Hyunjin’s reaction. He then smirks as Hyunjin rises, cheeks flushed and lips pressed into an anxious frown.

“Are you nervous?”

“N-No…”

“You shouldn’t be, you’re used to taking it-”

“Christopher,” Hyunjin wheezes in warning.

Chan bites his lip to conceal his troublesome smirk. Felix chuckles and snuggles up to Chan, getting comfortable as he watches you retrieve your strap from beside the bed. Chan tucks his arm behind his head and relaxes as his other arm snakes around Felix’s waist. You note Hyunjin quietly gnawing on his lip, and his eyes widen as they meet yours. You raise your eyebrow as you equip your strap, letting your eyes travel shamelessly over Hyunjin’s flushed chest as you lift your skirt to adjust the toy. You smirk as Hyunjin covers his face and falls dramatically to the bed, his arousal very present beneath his pants.

“Baby…”

You hum in response, taking your time fishing lube out of the drawer as Hyunjin flusters.

“You’re so nervous, Hyunjinnie,” Chan coos.

“You’re acting like you’ve never had sex before,” Felix teases.

Hyunjin huffs as he meets their eyes.

“I know I’ve had sex before. I know I’ve bottomed before. But I haven’t done it like this before.”

“Like what?” Felix presses with a mischievous little glint in his eyes.

“Like… with her. It’s different.”

You ease beside Hyunjin on the bed. Slowly, as if sudden movements may startle him away. You lean close with a knowing smirk as he turns to face you with a pout.

“Do you feel like a virgin again, Hyune?”

Hyunjin shudders at your words and makes a mindless sound, something between a moan and a warble of embarrassment. Your lips widen into a grin as you stalk closer, following him as he slowly leans back on his elbows. His eyes flutter as you lean in, close enough that your breath washes over his faltering lips. He gapes for a moment and clears his throat before managing a husky reply.

“I don’t know…”

“I think you do, baby,” You whisper, just loud enough for Felix and Chan to hear as well, “Are you ready for daddy?”

Chan groans and throws his head back. It thunks against the headboard and he splutters curses, disrupting the tension between you and Hyunjin. You both pause to watch him whine, and Felix- while suppressing a laugh- cup Chan’s aching head to his chest. He eventually breaks when Chan dramatically wails and wipes away his tears. Felix kisses his forehead and gently rubs the back of his neck as he cackles.

“Are you okay, babe?” Hyunjin asks with a fond sigh.

Chan whimpers and shakes his head, then mumbles, “Hurts s’much…”

“Do we- should we take a break?” Felix asks.

Hyunjin shrugs and answers, “Chan’s call.”

Chan huffs and melts into Felix’s touch.

“God, my head…”

“I wasn’t gonna say anything, but yeah, it’s been pretty bad lately,” Felix murmurs.

Chan gasps and shoves him down to the bed, making Felix squeal as Chan jostles him.

“What was that?”

“Nothing! Nothing!”

Felix laughs and accepts the barrage of kisses Chan peppers over his face. Hyunjin sighs and throws his hand over his face as he sinks into the bedsheets. You smile patiently and watch him shift his hips.

“I’m embarrassed to still be hard after that joke…”

“Don’t worry,” You assure Hyunjin, “I’m hard too.”

Hyunjin laughs then swats your thigh.

“Yours isn’t real!”

“Yes it is.”

“No, it’s not!”

You straddle his lap, making him lift his hand and blink at you with wide eyes.

“Let’s see what you think after trying it out. You can let me know if it feels real or not.”

Hyunjin lets out a breathy laugh as you brace your hands over his shoulders. His hands grip your hips while his eyes wander down to your chest; they follow the curves of your stomach until they land on the bulge of the toy beneath your skirt. His eyes flick back to yours again and he bites his lip as you tilt your head at him. You both glance up as Felix moans. He is sprawled out on the bed, shirt pulled open just enough so Chan can lap at his exposed nipple. Hyunjin huffs at the sight of Chan’s face buried in Felix’s chest.

“Chaaan,” Felix drawls, “You’re missing- mhmmm- them...”

Chan chuckles and licks along Felix’s sternum.

“I’m keeping an eye on them, don’t worry.”

“You really suck at domming, Lix,” You remark.

“Sh-hah-ut u-up,” Felix barely manages through an airy moan.

Chan meets your gaze as he nips at Felix’s shuddering chest.

“Enjoying the show?” He purrs.

Hyunjin scoffs.

“Stop being a distraction.”

Chan raises his head to stick his tongue out at Hyunjin and you giggle.

“Be good, Channie,” You warn, “It’s your turn after Hyunjin.”

Chan sighs and leans back, letting Felix gently push him off so they can both sit back and watch.

“Try not to concuss yourself this time,” Hyunjin demands.

Chan rolls his eyes and looks at Felix as his finger curls into the ring of his collar. Chan cocks his eyebrow and not so subtly eyes up Felix’s lips.

“Oh, you’re gonna keep me in line now?”

“I’m doing my best,” Felix whines.

“Both of you, behave,” You order.

Chan grumbles and shoves his face into Felix’s chest, who responds with a giggle as he plays with Chan’s collar. You hum softly, drawing Hyunjin’s attention back to you as you drink in the sight of his bulge under your lap. He swallows as you lean down, pressing him against the mattress.

“Still nervous, baby?”

“A little…”

“What’s making you nervous?”

You trace your fingers down his chest, over the lines of his abdomen. You can feel every stutter of his breath in this position. Hyunjin inhales shakily, his eyes lidded as he watches your hand go lower and lower.

“It’s different. New.”

“Scared you won’t like it?”

“N-No, of course not, I just…”

He trails off as your touch pauses at the hem of his pants and you meet his uncertain eyes.

“You can change your mind, I’ll stop.”

Hyunjin swallows and closes his eyes.

“I want this. I know that for sure so… don’t let me convince you otherwise.”

“Look at me, Hyunjin.”

He does. His eyes flutter open and meet your gaze, pupils blown wide as you lean in. You brush away the strands of hair clinging to his clammy skin, then cup his cheek as you lean in for a kiss. He returns it with a quiet moan, lets you press him into the sheets without protest as the kiss deepens. He inhales sharply when your tongue breaches his mouth and lets out a soft grunt as your fingers cup his chin. The kiss becomes messy and uncoordinated as you grind down in his lap, and you slowly part with a satisfied smirk.

Hyunjin throws his arm over his face and groans. You do little to help him catch his breath as you press your hips down harder. You watch the perspiration collect on his temple and the heat rise in his cheeks as his body writhes beneath yours. He wipes his hand over his face and sobs into it softly as you rut your cocks together.

“Good?”

“Mhh.”

You giggle mischievously as he smiles at you, smitten and flustered.

“I meant it when I asked: do you feel like a virgin again?”

Hyunjin whimpers and shifts, failing to avoid your gaze as you cradle his face.

“Mhm…”

“Don’t go silent on me yet, baby,” You coo, “Answer me. Do you want daddy to fuck you like a virgin?”

Hyunjin releases a slow breath, his eyes rolling with the torturous motion of your hips.

“I want- fuck- yes.”

“Ah, Hyune. You’re so pretty like this.”

You glance up at Chan and Felix as they watch. Chan has Felix pulled into his lap, his nose is nestled in the crook of his shoulder as he observes. Felix fingers are pressed gently between his teeth, easing his anticipation as he watches intently. You return your attention to Hyunjin, carefully reading every reaction he has. You finally bring your hands to the hem of his pants, but not without teasing your touch down his front.

“So pretty. So delicate. Don’t worry, baby, I’ll be gentle.”

Hyunjin chokes and nods, giving you an affirming hum as you lower his pants. You gasp softly when you find he has nothing underneath.

“Hyunjin. No wonder these didn’t hide your boner for shit.”

Hyunjin threads his fingers in his hair and keens when you rut your cocks together, now without a buffer.

“Mhngh…”

You giggle and tug his bottoms off, leaving him bare beneath you. You slide between his legs then draw his thighs over your hips as he gazes at you with heavy eyes. Your eyes lock as you slide your hands over his hips and up to his sides. He grunts softly when you grasp his sides and frot your strap against his arousal. His back arches before he slumps with a huff.

“Like that?”

“Baby…”

“Yes?”

His head lulls to the side as he shudders.

“Mhh, s’good…”

You hum as you pop open the cap of the lube. Hyunjin gasps when you squeeze his thigh and push his legs open in your lap. You pause to take in the sight of his cock, hot and heavy against his abdomen. You take your time, pouring lube into your palm and warming it between your hands as he squirms and huffs beneath you.

“Still feeling good?” You ask gently.

He nods, watching your hands through his eyelashes as his eyes flutter shut. He lets out a relieved sound when you finally bring your hands to his cock. His hips jump ever so slightly as he chases your touch, and you tsk softly.

“So impatient, baby. Don’t worry, daddy’s gonna take care of you. Wouldn’t want to ruin your first time.”

“More… You’re, hah,” Hyunjin moans then murmurs, “You’re mean…”

“I’m not mean,” You purr as your hands glide over his length, “You don’t know what you’re asking for, honey.”

Your hands roam to prop up his hips and tease the rim of his hole. He mumbles a curse and makes an animalistic sound as two of your fingers penetrate him. Your other hand sneaks back to his cock and he catches your wrist.

“Mhh, m’gonna come. Don’t.”

“Already? You’re really acting like a virgin…”

“Fuck you…”

Hyunjin whines as you withdraw your hands. You roll your eyes and hike your skirt up to expose your length as he kicks out in frustration. You lube the toy up carelessly, ignoring his hiss as some drips on his thighs. He yelps when you grab his wrists and push forward, pinning them above his head as you hover your face over his. He makes a desperate sound as you grind against him, his thighs twitching and his hands flailing at the rough contact.

“Is this what you want, Hyune? Or do you want me to be nice?”

“Mhh, nice,” He mumbles, pouting softly as you pry another moan from his throat.

You release his hands and lean back, sitting on your knees.

“Come here, baby.”

“H-Huh?”

He props himself up and you gesture him closer with two fingers. He hesitates and you huff quietly before cradling his sides and guiding him into your lap. He makes a soft sound of recognition and loops his arms around your shoulders as you help him sit in your lap. He blushes as he becomes more exposed, forced to spread his legs and let you loop your arms around his waist to accommodate the position. Still, he settles in with a soft moan as you gently peck his lips. He leans in eagerly, falling into a gentle rhythm of trading deep kisses until you murmur against his lips.

“Can you be a good boy for me? Hm? Wanna ride daddy?”

He groans and nods. You take the opportunity to return your slicked fingers back to his hole and slowly spread him open. His breath hitches and he silently moans as you prep him. Your lips ghost over his shoulder as his head falls forward to rest in the crook of your neck.

“Nhh…”

“You’re so fucking tight, Hyune…”

He nods, his hips jolting as you work him open.

“Good? Is this how you want it?”

“Hh?”

Hyunjin attempts to look at you, bumps his nose to your chin as you fuck your fingers deeper. You kiss his forehead and smile softly as he shudders.

“How do you want me, baby?”

“Oh,” He gasps, “I-I thought… Imagined we would… Just…”

You chuckle and he dreamily echoes the sound.

“Need to lay down?”

He nods and you gently ease him down on his back, giving him a break as you do so by retracting your hand. His soft pants fill the room as you line up your hips and give him a tender kiss.

“Is this okay?”

He hums and nods.

“I thought we were going to do that… face-down-ass-up thing.”

You snort.

“That’s not very romantic for your first time…”

He laughs.

“Oh right, I’m supposed to be a virgin. I’m having trouble getting into character, I think.”

You sigh wistfully.

“Yeah, you’re an awful virgin. I should’ve known better.”

Hyunjin giggles.

“No, no, I can be a virgin,” He insists playfully, toying with his hair as he continues, “Please be gentle with me?”

“Mhm, I’ll be gentle, sweetheart.”

You both smile into your next kiss, making it more teeth and tongue than a touch between your lips. He cups your cheeks and urges you closer so your chest is pressed against his. His hands absentmindedly trace the lace patterns of your lingerie as you press your cockhead against his entrance. He groans and relaxes with a muttered curse when you push in and bottom out. You tuck your face into his neck, nose at his pulse point as you feel his heart thrum in his chest. You reach down to pull your little silk skirt out of the way and take a moment to enjoy the intimacy. He wraps his arms around your waist and groans as you slowly begin your rhythm.

“Good? Not too much, baby?”

“No,” He murmurs, “S’perfect.”

You kiss his shoulder and caress his hips as you gently rock into him. He sighs and moans, lithe legs twitching each time you bottom out. He lets his head fall back, sweat dripping down his neck as you fuck him into the mattress. He lets out delicious restrained noises as your pace quickens. You draw back just enough to see his face, memorize the sight of him biting his lip and pinching his eyes shut in pleasure. His eyebrows arch and he eventually lets out a shameless moan, giving up on maintaining any composure.

“Fuck. That’s daddy’s boy,” You praise, feeling arousal and pride at the sight of Hyunjin choking out a moan.

“Ha-Hah, uhh, mhnn…”

You watch him with a devilish smile, dissecting every detail of his fucked out expression.

“Can’t talk, lovey?”

“Mh-hh-hard. H-Hard to, hhn, ngh…”

“Is daddy’s dick that good, baby,” You ask with faux sympathy, “Did I fuck my little boy stupid?”

“Yeah-hah…”

“Mhm, look at me.”

He huffs and manages to do as you ask. He moans as you press your forehead to his, then mumbles praise as you tilt your head and lock your lips together. The kiss is deceptively soft compared to the pace you’ve set with your hips, but you credit that to Hyunjin’s inability to focus at the moment. His mouth falls open and you move to pecking his chin and neck. His hips have not stopped moving, desperate to get you deeper. Your fingers clench in his flesh and his thighs tighten around your hips as he tries to meet you for each thrust. Any semblance of cohesive speech has been fucked away, now replaced with breathless pants and gasps.

After some time Hyunjin gives you a sort of warning, although the sound barely varies from his usual sounds of pleasure. You cup his face with one hand, watch it contort as his nails drag down your back, and murmur encouragement as your other hand slides down to his length. He finishes over your fist, making a mess between your fronts as he curses and whines. You giggle and kiss him sweetly as you help him through the lingering waves of pleasure, then you slowly pull out. You brace your hands on the bed and lean over him, staring intently as he heaves and melts into the sheets.

“My bad…”

“Hm?”

His hand clumsily wipes your stomach, smearing his cum over the silky fabric. You giggle, noticing that his bare chest is just as messy.

“It’s okay, baby. You did so well.”

Hyunjin hums.

“I love you so much…”

You share another kiss and you murmur back, “I love you too, Hyune…”

You trace your thumb lazily over Hyunjin’s hip as he lays back with a soft sigh. Your attention is drawn to Felix, sprawled in Chan’s lap and catching his own breath. Chan’s hand slips out of Felix’s boxers, and you snort.

“Felix, did you just-”

“Chan did it,” Felix sulks with a pout, “It’s his fault…”

“You always blame everything on me,” Chan coos, not-so-subtly wiping his hand on Felix’s shirt, “Take some responsibility, Lix…”

Felix whimpers and looks at you with pleading eyes. Hyunjin sighs and shakes his head with teasing disappointment.

“Yongbokkie…”

Chan kisses Felix’s neck as the younger whines and squirms.

“I tried…”

“Somehow, I don’t believe that,” You tease.

Hyunjin’s head lolls as he looks at your boyfriends. Felix shudders and turns, only managing to raise his hands before Chan catches his wrists and pushes him to the mattress. Felix huffs and makes a half-assed attempt at wrenching his wrists free before letting Chan hover over him.

“He’s picking on me…”

“Chan, be good,” You say sternly before letting your voice carry on with a honeyed tone, “Are you ready for your turn?”

Chan nods and shares a lingering kiss with Felix before leaving him to move next to you. You smile at Hyunjin, who drowsily blinks at the two of you as Chan fetches the used towel and swipes it over his chest. Hyunjin hums and his eyes fall shut as he gives you a blissed out smile. You giggle and reach up with pet his cheek.

“You’re so pretty, Hyune. So beautiful like this.”

Hyunjin mumbles a thank-you, either at your compliment or to Chan for trying to clean him. You notice Felix, curled up away from you at the head of the bed and call out to him softly.

“Lix, baby, everything okay?”

He gives you a thumbs up and huffs.

“Chan’s a fucking dick.”

Chan looks offended and throws his hands up with an eye roll.

“I’m sorry, I thought you wanted to come! Silly me for doing you a favor.”

You laugh as Felix, without raising his head, points accusingly in Chan’s direction.

“Manipulator, mansplainer, manwhore. That’s all you are.”

“M’not a mansplainer…”

Hyunjin asks, “You’re not denying the other two?”

You redirect the conversation by giving Felix gentle instructions.

“Lix, can you help Hyune move?”

Felix whines and rolls over, looking exhausted.

“Babe, I’m fighting for my life right now.”

Chan shakes his head and moves instead, chiding Felix as he scoops his arms under Hyunjin’s limp body:

“You’re so dramatic, Felix.”

Felix sticks his tongue out and you smirk, shaking your head fondly.

“Okay, sweetheart. Can you at least throw me a pillow?”

Felix does manage to do this before he slowly rolls himself into a more comfortable position. Chan carries Hyunjin up beside him and helps him settle as you rise from the bed. You stand in the middle of the room, hands on your hips as you look around. You find what you are looking for, a chair, and are briefly distracted as you slide it over beside the bed. Felix whining draws your attention back to them, and you sigh softly as you take in the sight: Chan leaning over Hyunjin and kissing Felix as his hand roams over his lap. Felix squirms and whimpers as Chan cups him through his boxers, while Hyunjin observes them with an amused look.

You sigh and pick up the pillow, then use it to smack Chan’s bare bottom. Hyunjin laughs as Chan yelps into the kiss with Felix, then turns to glare at you over his shoulder.

“What?”

“Stop torturing Felix and get over here.”

“Ooh,” Hyunjin teases.

Chan leaves Felix’s side and the younger hides his heated face in Hyunjin’s shoulder with a huff.

“I wasn’t torturing him,” Chan defends as he smirks at you, “You’re just jealous. You need my attention that badly, right, babygirl?”

You toss the pillow on the chair then cross your arms with a smirk as Chan comes to sit in front of you on the bed. His face and chest are still flushed, and the kisses left on his neck and lips have made his skin bloom a deep shade of red. You admire the marks as you lean closer to study his cocky smirk.

“Not jealous.”

Chan’s eyelashes flutter and he reaches out to pull you closer. His hands caress and squeeze your sides as you follow his lead and rest your hands on his shoulders. He draws you between his thighs as he swings his legs over the edge of the bed, but you keep your feet firmly planted on the floor.

“No? We’ve barely touched you tonight, sweetheart. You must be getting restless. Let me take care of you.”

You shudder at the offer but bite your lip and shake your head.

“I told you to be good with Felix, and you didn’t listen. Now you’re trying to entice me? You’re not being a very good boy, Channie…”

His eyes flick down, drinking in the way your lingerie cups your breasts as you begin to crawl into his lap. One of his hands slides down to feel your backside and he meanly squeezes the back of your thigh.

“I could take care of you, baby…”

At the same time Chan attempts to guide your thighs around his sides you shove him to the bed. Your nimble fingers catch the heart-shaped loop of his collar and pull it towards you as your palm splays against his chest. Chan groans, his eyes shutting as he pushes against your hand on his chest. He peeks up at you with a smirk, fighting against the force of your hand with ease. He opens his mouth for some snarky quip, clearly intent on turning things around. When he goes to speak you rise up and drive your knee into his chest, knocking the air out of him and successfully pinning him to the bed.

Hyunjin gasps as the bed rocks and you pull the collar tight to restrict Chan’s breathing, more intense than the light play your lovers were experimenting with earlier. Chan’s eyes widen and he wheezes softly, and you notice Felix rising in your periphery. As Chan’s back arches you fall back, straddling his lap and loosening his collar. He takes a deep breath and relaxes with a sigh, blinking rapidly as he stares at the ceiling. You give Felix and Hyunjin a reassuring smile and they relax. Chan is rock hard beneath you, his length grazing the inside of your thigh as you lean forward to find his gaze.

“Channie,” He inhales sharply and looks at you in a daze, “We already promised to take care of you tonight. Be a good boy and listen… to… daddy…”

“Fuck…”

Chan swallows and nods as you slowly pull the collar tight again.

“Now… weren’t you saying something?”

Chan shakes his head and replies in a rough voice, “N-No… No…”

“Are you okay?”

He nods.

“Mhm. Stars.”

“Stars?”

“S-Saw stars for a second…”

You toy with the chain as he shakily pushes himself up.

“Okay… Deep breath, baby.”

He exhales then breathes in, capturing the air that you tore from him moments ago. Your hand rests on his cheek as your other hand slips beneath his collar, gingerly touching his skin.

“You’re not hurt, are you?”

“No,” He pants, “No, baby, that was so good…”

“I just don’t want to be too rough with you.”

He laughs breathlessly and leans closer. You meet him for a kiss and smile against his lips as he guides your hand back to the chain. You secure it in your grip and cup the back of his neck as he murmurs against your lips:

“Please, keep going. Please, baby.”

You hum and kiss his forehead, then feel his shuddery breath wash over your neck before he plants a wet kiss to your collarbone. One of his hands comes to your waist, trying to keep you close as you lean back to look down at him. You are hovering over his lap now, having ended up there when you moved in to check on him. You kiss the top of his head as his hand creeps lower to the tie securing your skirt.

“Want me to fuck you now, Chan? Are you going to be a good boy?”

He moans and nods as he blearily looks up at you. You pull on the chain just a bit, and his eyes lose focus for a second.

“God, Chan, it didn’t take long to put you back in line… You are a manwhore, aren’t you?”

Your words make him fumble, fail to pull your skirt loose as he groans and nuzzles his face into your chest. He presses lazy open-mouth kisses to your breasts, and after a few attempts manages to pull the ribbon open on both the bra and the skirt. The skirt flutters to the floor as he tugs it away, and the fabric that was covering your breasts falls open. You moan softly and push him to lay down, without any resistance this time.

“Answer me.”

“Babe,” He sobs.

You sigh and feign annoyance as you kiss him again, silencing his complaints as you blindly find the lube in the bedsheets beside you. You sit up and tilt your head at him as he swipes his hand through his hair.

“Roll over. I need to prep you.”

Chan groans but listens, rolling onto his stomach after you ease off his lap. You slip your thigh under his, propping up his hips, and begin to wet your fingers. He whines and you roll your eyes before slipping one of your hands beneath him to grip his cock.

“Is this what you wanted?”

He whines again but nods, rutting into your fist as you begin spreading your fingers between his cheeks. You let him whimper and beg into the sheets, and offer him little acknowledgement as you carefully slip your fingers inside his hole. His fingers curl into fists and he buries his face with a broken groan.

“Talk to me, baby.”

His hips jolt as your fingers nudge a sensitive spot and he chokes on his words. You lean over to check his expression, noting the drool wetting the sheets and the way his eyebrows are pinched in desperation. He blinks away his tears as he nuzzles the bed pitifully and you coo softly.

“Give me a color, baby.”

“Gr-Green… Green, ohgodplease…”

You glance over at Felix and Hyunjin, both focused on Chan’s reactions the same as you. You giggle as you spread your fingers and work him gently with your hand.

“I think it’s been too long since we’ve done this, Channie. You can barely keep it together.”

Chan grunts and wipes his face, already a mess from the pleasure.

“M’fine…”

You pull your hand away and Chan wheezes, not dissimilar to the sound you drew from him earlier.

“You’re on the verge of tears and I’m not even inside you yet.”

Chan just sobs and lets his front melt into the bed.

“Baby…”

“And to think you were making fun of Hyune… He took it much better than you…”

Hyunjin giggles at your comment. You stand from the bed and lightly slap Chan’s ass, making him jump and moan.

“Get up.”

You drip more lube over your fingers and shaft as Chan shakily pushes himself up. He looks at you over his shoulder, eyes lidded with tears gathered in his lashes. His nose is red and his lips are swollen as he again attempts to wipe his face clean. You move to lean against the chair as you watch his pitiful glare.

“Chan, if you can’t get up I’m not fucking you. Stand on your fucking feet and stop being a brat.”

He sniffles and nods as he slides himself to the edge of the bed. You extend your hand to him, giving him some support as he stands on his quivering legs. His cock is standing flush against his abdomen and beginning to weep, despite his orgasm from earlier. He bows his head as he stumbles into your arms and you accept him sweetly, taking your time to wipe away the tears that begin to pour down his cheeks and trickle from under his nose.

“Why are you crying, baby? Did I hurt your feelings?”

Your voice is soft, holding genuine care as you mildly taunt his emotional outburst. You tilt up his chin, forcing him to face you as your thumb continues swiping away his tears. He chokes out a sob and shakes his head.

“Ngh- n-need you- love you,” He mumbles, “M’sorry I’m such a me-ess…”

You shush him gently and guide him closer for a kiss, ignoring the salty taste on your tongue and the dampness that transfers to your face. You hold his cheeks as you trade kisses, give him breaks to sob against your lips before your tongue delves back in to explore his trembling mouth. After one particularly long kiss you pull him into a hug, letting him hide his face in the crook of your neck. His arms close tighter around you immediately, grasping onto you like a lifeline as you sway and rub his back.

“I love you so much, Chan,” He hiccups as you murmur to him sweetly, “So, so much… You work so hard and I’m so proud of you… You deserve everything, my sweet boy… I want to give you everything…”

Chan cries as he pulls back to face you.

“I-I just wa-ant you… I just want…”

You nod your head and watch him patiently as you tuck stray hairs out of his face. He fails to get his words out but you give him an understanding smile.

“I know, baby. It all feels like a lot now, doesn’t it?”

Felix catches your attention by waving a tissue within your reach until you take it. You gingerly dab Chan’s face dry and his hands move up to wipe your face clean. His lower lip trembles as he stares at you, hanging off your next words.

“You’re doing so well. I’m so proud of you. I just need you to keep doing what you’re doing, okay? Hm? Can you keep going for daddy, or do you need a break?”

“Keep going,” Chan croaks.

You smile.

“That’s my boy. We’re almost done, you know? I really want to see you let loose, alright? As soon as you come we’ll be all done. Is that what you want?”

Chan’s eyelashes flutter and for a moment he seems to have forgotten the situation he is in. He leans forward so his forehead touches yours and hums.

“I wanna come…”

“You will, baby,” You kiss him chastely and pet his cheeks, “Look at me. One last question: do you want me to be nice or do you want me to be mean?”

He nuzzles his nose against yours and takes a long time deciding, worrying you that he missed the question in his daze. Eventually he does choose, and seems certain in his answer.

“Mean, rough, please.”

You nod and kiss him again before reassuring, “I love you. Remember the colors, alright? Yellow to slow down, red to stop.”

He nods and replies, “I love you.”

You smile sweetly and gently guide him to turn, pressing your bare chest against his back as you bring him to the chair. You help him brace his hands on the back of it and he takes the hint when you slide your hands to his hips and push him to sit on the cushion. He shivers at your hot breath on the nape of his neck and groans weakly as you help him spread his legs over the sides of the chair. His hips roll slightly, chasing the friction of his cock brushing against the soft pillow. You reach around and slap his abdomen, making him squeal and tighten his thighs around the back of the seat.

“If I catch you doing that again it’ll be your dick, understand?”

He rests his forehead in his arms and whimpers.

“Ye-es…”

Your hand slides over his back, feeling his shoulder blades before you trace your finger down his spine. His breath shudders and you see his thighs squeeze tighter in an attempt to stop himself from thrusting. The chair creaks as you rest your knee on the edge of it and slide it under his thighs, guiding him to arch his back and raise his hips. You look at Felix and Hyunjin, both have sobered up from their orgasms and are watching you and Chan carefully. You lean forward to kiss his shoulder and whisper.

“Are you ready, love?”

“Yes, yea-”

As soon as Chan gives you the go ahead, you pull his hips up and sheath your strap inside him with one motion. He grunts and loses his footing for a second, struggling to adjust to the position as you begin thrusting steadily. He whines and closes his fists tight on the back of the chair as he drops his forehead against it. More desperate sounds of pleasure spill from his lips as you push to the hilt with each thrust.

Hyunjin smirks softly and Felix chuckles before rising from the bed. If Chan notices them begin to move around the room, he is too fucked out to acknowledge it. He just groans and leans over the back of the chair as he lets you set the pace. You grip his thighs tight and use the leverage of your knee on the chair to support your thrusts. His legs wobble, but eventually you feel your pace and his stance are secure enough for you to slide one of your hands up to his cock. He gasps and melts at the feeling, letting his cheek smush into the crook of his arm as his body sags beneath you. You think if your weight was not on the edge of the chair right now it would have tipped already with how limp Chan has become.

You are vaguely aware of your boyfriends, cleaning up the bed and each other, but you are more focused on Chan. His little breathy moans, his cock throbbing in your grasp, and the way his toes are curling against the floor. On one punctuated thrust one of his legs gives out and Chan cries out softly.

“Y-ellow-”

You forget your own rules for a moment and stop completely, making Chan whine and shake his head. You huff softly and pet his side as you lean in to kiss his shoulder.

“What’s wrong, baby? What do you need?”

“Can’t… Can’t stand like this any longer…”

“Okay, lovey,” You purr, “Turn around for me.”

Chan sighs and shakily does so. He leans back in the chair, his head falling back as he attempts to catch his breath. You meet Hyunjn’s gaze as he comes to stand behind Chan with a smile.

“You look so good, Channie.”

Chan laughs breathlessly and groans.

“Hyune,” You ask softly, “Keep the chair steady, please?”

Hyunjin tilts his head and rests his hand on the back of the chair behind Chan’s shoulders.

“Like this?”

“Perfect.”

You pull Chan up by his hips and resume your relentless pace, making him cry out in pleasure and grasp at the chair haphazardly. Hyunjin’s eyes widen and he reaffirms his grip to keep it steady. Chan whines and knocks his head back.

“Mhngh… Fuck…”

Hyunjin chuckles and sweetly kisses his forehead.

“You’re doing so well…”

Chan nods, his face contorting in pleasure as he gets closer to his release. It feels like only seconds have passed when Chan’s back arches and he lets out a desperate groan, tears prickling in his vision from the intensity of his orgasm ripping through him. He pants as his release paints his front, and he gazes at you with a wrecked expression. Your pace slows until you pull out, then you lean in to kiss him gently. He moans and weakly returns it between soft gasps for air. Hyunjin gently rubs Chan’s shoulder and kisses the top of his head.

“There you go…”

Chan’s hands shake as he reaches for you, and he pulls you in again. You laugh softly as he tucks his face into your chest and pulls your arms around his shoulders, before securing his arms around your middle. You oblige even though the position is awkward and smile softly at him.

“Tired, baby?”

He whines and nods, gently nuzzling your chest as you pat his head. Hyunjin steps away as you begin to straighten up and slowly guide Chan to stand. His legs are shaky, but you both make it to the bed. Chan collapses with a sigh, chest heaving as he attempts to recollect himself. You sit beside him, take your time removing his collar, then jump slightly when Felix comes to stand behind you. His hands quickly find the clips fastening your lingerie set and undo them swiftly. You make a little relieved noise as he strips the fabric, soiled with cum and sweat, off your body. Chan watches with a soft smile as you lay down beside him, prop your elbow on the pillow as you gaze sleepily down at him.

Hyunjin returns and makes a soft noise at the scene before him. He crawls onto the bed beside Chan and holds out a bottle of water.

“Drink.”

Chan groans but Hyunjin insists, holding the open bottle to his lips carefully until he is satisfied with the number of small sips Chan drowsily accepts. He passes the bottle to you so you can have a swig as he begins cleaning Chan’s face. Chan’s eyes flutter as Hyunjin dabs under them with a cool cloth, before laying that to cover his eyes and forehead.

“Mh?” Chan mumbles and reaches up to blindly touch the cooling fabric.

You begin stroking your fingers through his hair as Hyunjin moves down his body. He rests his hand on Chan’s chest and informs gently:

“I’m going to clean you up, baby. So if you feel anything, it’s just me.”

Chan murmurs some sort of affirmation and you giggle gently. You drink more water before holding it to his lips again. Chan grasps weakly at your wrist and half-takes it, tipping it slightly to get a drink then giving up and letting you guide the bottle to and from his lips. As you both begin to come down from the moment you notice Hyunjin has dressed himself in clean shorts. He wipes a wet cloth over Chan’s stomach and legs with gentle focus. You blink up dazedly as Felix leans down behind you.

“How do you feel, baby?”

He brushes his thumb over your cheek dotingly as you begin to register that his question was aimed at you. You let out a long sigh before you reply.

“Being the top is exhausting.”

Hyunjin cackles and Felix smirks as you sink into the bed beside Chan. Chan chuckles softly and lets out a low hum, relaxing at the feeling of Hyunjin coasting the washcloth over his thighs. Felix kisses your temple and sits beside you.

“Now you know how we feel,” He jokes.

“What the fuck are you talking about? You’re a total pillow princess.”

Chan and Hyunjin both laugh at your quip, and when you peek up Felix is glaring down at you with his mouth completely gaped. He then shakes his head and lets the warm cloth he was holding slap unceremoniously on your bare stomach. You giggle mischievously as he begins begrudgingly wiping it over your body. Chan lets out an airy moan and you glance over, noticing that Hyunjin has propped up his legs to clean his behind.

“You okay?” Hyunjin asks.

“Sensitive…” Chan whines.

“I know, babe, but I can’t let you be filthy all night.”

Chan pouts and you lean over to gently peck his lips.

“We’ll only keep turning you into a mess if we’re allowed to clean you up again,” You remind him.

Chan grumbles and twitches slightly as Hyunjin finishes up. Hyunjin slides a clean pair of boxers onto Chan and kisses his stomach as the elastic band snaps against his skin. Chan jumps and groans, reaching down blindly to ruffle Hyunjin’s hair. Hyunjin continues mouthing up his body, giggling softly as Chan sleepily plays with his hair. You smirk at Felix, who is still pouting.

“What?”

“I’m mad at you.”

“Tch,” Hyunjin grins into Chan’s chest and glances at Felix.

“Why, because I speak the truth?”

“I’m not a pillow princess,” Felix whines.

“No,” Chan murmurs, “You’re worse.”

Felix blushes as you and Hyunjin laugh, then he shakes his head.

“And to think: I was going to be nice and go down on you.”

You cock up your eyebrow and lounge with a sleepy grin, watching as Felix straddles your leg.

“Were you?”

“Yes.”

“Aww,” You watch him lean down to brush his lips against your stomach, your breath stuttering as his tongue peeks out to trace over your dewy skin, “Mhm, y-you look like you’re still going to…”

“Mhm, I am,” He mumbles, “But m’not happy about it…”

“Liar,” Hyunjin bites, “You love eating her pussy, you’re getting exactly what you want.”

Felix smirks and sighs into your skin as he slowly kisses lower.

“You make me sound like such a selfish lover…”

You giggle as he presses lingering kisses to the crease of your thigh, then you moan as his tongue flicks gently over your clit. Felix guides your thighs over his shoulders and gently licks and kisses between your folds. You hiss gently and shift your hips, making him look up with wide eyes.

“M’kay?”

You nod and let out a slow breath.

“Hips are sore…”

Felix hums, distracting you with a pleasant vibration against your core as his hands come up to gently massage your thighs. He buries his face between your legs, his nose pressed against your mound as his tongue delves deeper. You moan and let yourself relax, eyes falling on Hyunjin and Chan next to you. Hyunjin has taken the cloth from Chan’s face and is gently pressing it to his neck. Your gaze lingers on the hickies and faint marks left from the collar rubbing against his neck. When your eyes flick up to inspect Chan’s puffy face, he is gazing back at you. He lets out a soft sigh as Hyunjin brings some relief to his sensitive skin, and reaches out to take your hand. Your eyes soften as he brings your knuckles to his lips and presses a light kiss to them.

Hyunjin smiles and continues his routine of caring for Chan. He applies a soothing lotion to his irritated skin and pecks gentle kisses over his forehead. Chan’s eyes fall shut, breaking your trance, and you throw your arm over your face as Felix laps diligently at your sex.

“Felix…”

Felix chuckles and raises his head to ask, “Who’s the pillow princess, now?”

“It’s still you,” Chan answers.

You giggle and Felix quietly resumes eating you out. Hyunjin gently raises your arm to meet your gaze and asks, “Are you okay?”

“Mhm, feels really good…”

Hyunjin chuckles.

“I’m glad. I was asking about your hips.”

Chan puffs out a laugh as you moan lowly.

“Mhn, m’just a little sore…”

“You should’ve stretched before we started. You probably strained yourself.”

You gasp and let out a little whine as you feel your climax approaching.

“Don’t, hah, scold me… M’trying to come…”

“Oh, sorry,” Hyunjin replies sarcastically, “I’m just trying to care for my girlfriend’s wellbeing. I won’t do that anymore.”

You whine again.

“Shut up…”

Chan giggles as Hyunjin gently drops your arm. You watch him through hazy eyes as he licks his fingers, then reaches down to rub your clit. Felix lets out a soft noise of surprise as you buck your hips and keen, suddenly finishing from Hyunjin’s touch. He says nothing as the pads of his fingers gently swirl over your nub, and Felix groans softly as he laps up your release. You gasp as Chan leans over to steal a kiss and your boyfriends gradually cease their actions. Hyunjin leans down to kiss you next, gently petting your stomach as you return his affection slowly.

“Thank you…”

“Oh, you’re welcome, baby,” Hyunjin purrs.

Felix scoffs.

“Stop that. I did all the work.”

Hyunjin smirks and winks at you.

“Feeling better?”

“Mhm…”

“Go away,” Felix whines as he lightly shoves Hyunjin to the other side of the bed.

You laugh as Hyunjin flops over Chan, who lets out a sleepy mumble as his only reaction. Felix braces his arms over you with a glare as you grin dazedly up at him.

“You’re all plotting against me.”

You hum and draw him closer for a messy kiss, which he submits to easily.

“Mhh, thank you, Felix…”

Felix smirks and pecks your nose before replying:

“You’re welcome, love.”

Hyunjin cuddles up next to Chan and nuzzles his neck happily as Felix steps away to grab your pajamas. You roll languidly into Chan’s side and sigh into his chest. His arm slides around your waist and he turns his face to nose gently at your hair. You lightly touch his neck, careful as you prod the marks you left on his skin. Chan exhales slowly then tilts his head to the side to give you better access.

“You did so well today, Chan,” You murmur as you pet his neck, “Good job, baby.”

“Mhh, I should be saying that to you… I didn’t even help you out, or do anything useful…”

“Don’t start,” Hyunjin groans.

He rises to glare softly at your boyfriend, who stares blankly in response.

“You don’t have to take care of us all the time, Chan. Let us take care of you too. And don’t feel guilty about it.”

“I feel selfish…”

“Guess what,” Hyunjin exasperates, “You should! You’re allowed to be selfish! We want you to be selfish. Take whatever you want from us, and let us take care of you.”

Chan falters as Felix silently returns to the bed and helps you get dressed in clean panties and one of Hyunjin’s shirts. You share a knowing look as Chan avoids Hyunjin’s gaze. Hyunjin gently tilts his head so he can face him again.

“Look at me… I’m sorry, but I mean it. We love you and you do so much for us. So, please, don’t talk yourself down.”

Chan swallows.

“It doesn’t feel right.”

“Yeah, because you’ve somehow convinced yourself that you don’t deserve the whole world and more…”

Chan frowns as Hyunjin cups his cheeks, then laughs as Hyunjin begins squeezing his face.

“Just be quiet and let our wife peg you without complaining!”

Felix laughs and you grin, nodding in agreement. Chan whines as Hyunjin continues pinching his cheeks and cutely scolding him. You and Felix settle in, and you hesitate for a moment before speaking up.

“Did you just call me your wife?”

Hyunjin freezes, mid-face squeezing, as he tries to recall his words. He then looks at you, cheeks blazing as he answers.

“And what if I did?”

Your own face heats up and you scoff.

“Isn’t that a little presumptuous? That I’d want to marry you?”

Hyunjin catches the teasing lilt in your voice, meanwhile Chan attempts to remove his hands from his face. The two lightly wrestle their hands as Hyunjin smirks and replies:

“Well, you would obviously choose me. How couldn’t you?”

You gasp and look incredulously at Felix, who rolls his eyes with a grin.

“Yeah, sure- whose arms is she in right now?”

“That doesn’t mean anything,” Hyunjin quickly defends.

You smile at Chan as Hyunjin finally stops grabbing at him, and he gives you a tired smirk. He then winks, and you giggle as he pulls you closer again. Hyunjin settles on top of him with a small huff and mindlessly traces his fingers over Chan’s bicep. Chan lets out a long sigh and for once in what feels like forever, seems to relax. Felix voices this sentiment softly.

“You look tired, Chan.”

“M’tired,” Chan slurs, “Good tired… Gonna sleep for… a week…”

You giggle and catch his satisfied smile.

“Better make it a month… just to be safe.”

Chan hums and lightly squeezes your waist where his hand lays limply over it. Hyunjin gently massages Chan’s arm and props himself up just enough to meet his gaze again. Chan’s eyes have fallen shut as exhaustion finally takes him, but that does not deter Hyunjin from staring at him with the most doting expression.

“Was it good, baby? Did we help you relax?”

“Yeah…”

“Do you feel good?”

Chan swallows and nods gently, but you sense some hesitation. Felix reaches over and gently pats his chest, right over his heart.

“What’s buggin’ you, sweetheart?”

“Mhm…”

Chan pries his eyes open and he stares at Hyunjin, who is watching him with bated breath.

“I don’t know… how to say it…”

“Just say it,” Hyunjin breathes, “We’ll work it out, baby…”

Chan’s eyelids shut again and he grunts softly, clearly fighting sleep.

“Thank you… I love you all so much…”

“Oh, baby… We love you.”

Hyunjin leans in to kiss Chan gently, then watches him as he continues.

“I really… liked it…”

“Kissing?”

“No,” Chan giggles, “The kink stuff…”

“Oh,” Hyunjin laughs then replies, “Anytime. You give us the word and we’ll be there for you… Whenever you need us…”

Felix stretches and yawns then drowsily pats Chan’s arm.

“We’d be happy to visit this again… Whenever you need your daddy, or your mommy…”

Chan groans softly and smiles bashfully.

“Don’t tease…”

“I’m not teasing you! It was sexy…”

You kiss Chan’s shoulder and tell the others, “Let’s let Channie rest, and we can talk about it more later, okay?”

Felix hums in agreement while Hyunjin sweetly traces Chan’s jawline with his thumb. Chan peeks at him then murmurs:

“I liked the kisses too…”

Hyunjin giggles and asks, “Is that your way of asking for more?”

Chan nods and Hyunjin happily obliges, giving pecks to his lips and cheeks as he dozes off. You feel Felix’s arms tighten gently around you, his body molding closer around yours as he settles in to fall asleep. You sigh happily and turn your head to ask him gently.

“You good?”

“Mh-hm…”

You look at Hyunjin, who is still gazing at Chan. He notices your eyes on him and gives you a comforting smile.

“I’m good, too. Go to sleep, my love.”

Felix gingerly massages your hips, soothing the dull ache in your muscles. You let out a soft hum and quickly fall asleep tucked between your boys.

There is a steady thrum in the air when you wake up again, and for a moment you are disoriented. Waking up in Hyunjin’s room opposed to Chan’s throws you off in your sleep drunk state, and you sit up slowly as if your head is being weighed down by the pillow. You quickly find your bearings, feel Chan’s smooth chest when you reach out in the dark. His breathing stutters and he lets out a light snort from the pressure. Your hand slides across the landscape of his stomach until you feel Hyunjin, his body hot and pinned to Chan from the other side. By this point your eyes have adjusted to the dark, and it only takes a little searching of the bed to figure out Felix is not there with you. You huff, slide off the mattress until your feet hit the floor with a soft thud, and shuffle out of the room.

Once in the hall, you register that the ambient sound was someone playing music in the kitchen. It is quiet, so quiet you cannot make out the words until you wander your way to the source of it. Felix is there, chatting softly with Han who is playing music from his phone. Han’s head perks up and he pauses it, causing Felix to turn to you with his bright smile.

“You’re up. Everything alright, love?”

You run your hands over your face and into your hair, then blink slowly at the two boys.

“Mhm. What time is it?”

Han checks on his phone then softly answers, “It’s a little after four…”

“It’s so early…”

They laugh as you trudge in, and Felix quietly welcomes you into his arms as you walk to him. He runs his hand over your back and cups your head as you butt it into his shoulder, then sweetly kisses your temple.

“You should go back to bed, sweetheart.”

“Why are you up?”

“Just chatting… Han and Bin came home and I just happened to be up…”

“Uh, L-Lee Know’s here too,” Han mumbles.

You peek up at him and notice him looking away from you. Your brow furrows gently but you find no time to form a response, being gently led away by Felix as your exhaustion prevails. You walk together, your feet moving so slowly Felix has to pause to accommodate your speed. On the way back to Hyunjin’s room you pass Minho. You try to smile at him, but you can barely open your eyes. He just chuckles and ruffles your hair as you pass.

“Goodnight.”

“G’night…”

You yawn as Felix murmurs goodnight and helps you navigate the darkness. He helps you back into bed and tucks you in before giving you a sweet kiss.

“Do you need anything?”

You shake your head and smile as he presses another kiss to your forehead.

“Okay. I’ll be right back. I love you.”

“I love you too, Lix…”

You watch Felix stumble out of the room and shut the door most of the way behind him. The hallway light flicks on as you listen to him pad down the hall. You yawn and rub your eyes, then blink blearily at the warm light shining in through the crack in the door. For a moment you imagine a shadow lingering in the frame. It looks like it may be Han checking in- looking for Felix? Then, as quickly as your brain begins to register his unmistakable brown locks and wide puppy eyes, he is gone. You stare at the spot, willing the apparition to reappear and quell your curiosity. The light turns off and shortly after Felix returns.

The bed sinks as he sits beside you and you quietly mumble:

“Han…”

“Hm?”

“Han… m’think he wanted you…”

“No, Han’s gone to bed, sweetheart.”

Felix lays beside you and rests his head on your chest. Your hand rises and lands on his head so you can lazily play with his hair. You let your eyes flutter shut as you accept his answer and fall asleep.

#hyunchanlix #hyunchanlix x reader #stray kids x reader #skz x reader #stray kids smut #skz smut #stray kids fanfic #skz fanfic #stray kids x y/n #skz x y/n #stray kids x you #skz x you #skz reader insert #stray kids polyamory #skz poly #bangchan x reader #hyunjin x reader #felix x reader #background minsung

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brisquad-unit-4402 · 1 year ago

Note

Hello it’s me again! It’s been a while, I hope you’ve been doing okay. I recently have been reading through a lot of angst to comfort and I have an idea for a request!

May I request an Ike fic where reader is a liver in NIJISANJI and has a crush on Ike but knows they have no chance with him. Then one day reader accidentally spills their feelings to Ike and Ike comforts them after hearing about readers feelings?

I hope you’re not tired of me requesting Ike fics (ily him to much) and I hope you have a good day/night! <3

-🖋️

stars above your skin

oh 🖋 we're really in it now

how long have i had this request in my inbox? early march? and now exactly one day after blue light dropped, i give you a ~19.5k word ike fic. much love and effort has gone into this one, only seconded by the massive amounts of brainrot.

so yeah, i'm not tired of ike requests. i'm literally a quilldren that writes fanfic. this is the opposite of a problem

in fact this might be one of my favorite things i've written... the second half is such a good bedtime story for me...!

this is going to get NASTY to read on tumblr—as in my site is lagging so hard just typing these a/n notes. so i'm going to remind you all that not only is liking/reblogging recommended to keep track of this fic, but also that i have an ao3 account (same name as url but without dashsince it's much more accessible than tumblr for long fic. i recommend reading on tumblr if you can because of some formatting but to each their own!

here’s a funny story about this fic. i was working on it while a bunch of people sat behind me, you see, and one of my greatest irrational fears is that people sitting behind me will be able to see my laptop screen and laugh at what i’m writing…! and with these requests i usually title them the fandom name and my name, and a short phrase about the request, and this one was “workplace romance”, and i just got so afraid right then and there i changed it to the first thing i could think of, based off a clip i saw of pomu, selen, aia and doppio…!! and that’s why the wip doc is titled “nijisanji 4402 - pliskin”, and why i will always refer to this fic as "pliskin" much more than the actual title

by the way here’s a cover of iris that was pretty fitting for this fic. you’ll know when to play it. enjoy

tags: hurt/comfort, reader is a niji vtuber, gender neutral reader, off-collab, mutual pining, misunderstandings, fluff, angst with a happy ending, friends to lovers, cuddling, everyone in niji is your wingman, implied uki/ren if you squint but it’s mostly because uki will flirt with 80% of the men in this company

cameos: aia amare, alban knox, mika melatika, nina kosaka, ren zotto, uki violeta, vox akuma, fulgur ovid (mentioned)

⚠️ drinking/alcohol (unspecified if reader drinks alcohol)

⚠️ horror/gore mentions (non-detailed), out of context outlast spoilers i guess?

author's commentary here (spoilers) ↣

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

There are dozens of these videos on YouTube, and never have you come across the same one twice. You would know. You have a bad habit of clicking on them.

After all, they’re labeled with your name on them, and right next to it, Ike Eveland. You are smart enough to recognize it’s not worth your time and just another compilation of the same moments and fans trying to make a mountain out of a molehill, but your heart says otherwise. To be fair, the compilations were a much more recent development than the one you hid under lock and key.

When you first joined Nijisanji, some of your senpais sent you messages full of greetings and offers to help you get on your feet as a streamer. Ike was one of those senpais, and whenever you popped into voice calls just to hang out, he was easy to talk to, like an old friend. Naturally, a fast friendship formed, and when you debuted, he was one of the first people you collabed with- and the one with the best reception. Your new fans (‘Bookworms,’ they called themselves, after your name Reader) loved how well your humor bounced off each other, and when weeks passed and you announced another collab on your schedule with Ike, your Bookworms rejoiced.

Even when you weren’t working, you would still talk to him. He told you about his homeland in the past and his novels, both released and unpublished. He was a storyteller even when he was talking about something as minute as making a sandwich, and whenever you brought up your past and interests, he was an excellent listener. You had your differences, but he always knew what questions to ask so he could understand you better, and you loved the opportunity to ramble.

It had been nearly three months since you debuted, and four if you count the day you were officially hired and began to build yourself as a streamer. Whenever you look at the endlessly long text history between you and Ike, you have to wonder: is it normal to feel so connected to someone you’ve only known for three-maybe-four months?

You’re not an idiot. You aren’t about to say Ike is the most important thing in the world to you, but he gets pretty damn close. That terrifies you. You shouldn’t be so attached to someone you barely know.

But then again, you trust Ike. He’s opened up to you about things he would never say to others, and he keeps your secrets buried in the grave. You’ve lost count of how much advice he’s given you, but you’ve never forgotten a single one, and whenever you feel lost about something you know you can count on him to help you out.

You grimace, sip out of your drinking glass, and press ‘play’ on the next compilation.

A cute intro plays with the clipper’s name. Above it are the words Pen and Paper, surrounded by puffy pink hearts.

That was the duo name between you and Ike, but "ship name" was more accurate among fanwork.

You weren’t exactly unaware about it. Weeks ago, you were surfing Twitter and the site’s algorithm granted you your introduction into Pen and Paper. This was shortly after your first collab with Ike, and after you established your shipping rules with your audience (“I’m fine with anything, as long as the other liver is okay with it!”, you proclaimed, totally oblivious to how soon that would blow up in your face). The fanartist posted a messy black-and-white sketch, but you could make out the pattern of Ike’s scarf wrapped around you and him at the same time, forcing your bodies into close proximity with averted eyes and dusty blushes.

You appreciated the fanartist’s passion and skill, but the thought of you and Ike as an item sunk in your chest like you swallowed a rock. You swiped past. You went back to your scrolling, found some good thumbnails, and retweeted some cute solo fanart, but before the week ended, you made a private account with a fake name and staked out the tags for Pen and Paper to follow that fanartist.

Damn fanartist. You tried to deny it, and told yourself that you followed their art because you liked the style. But their account was full of ship art, and when Twitter gave you similar users that all worked under the hashtag, you had to face facts. If you wanted to look at it optimistically, at least you figured it out early on before anything had the chance to sour while you were still blissfully ignorant of yourself; even then, that doesn’t make it any harder than it already is.

Besides all the texts, the meetings, the schedules and events, and then including the streams and collabs and the art and the fandom…

“Why?” You ask out loud in the silence of your room. “Why did I have to fall for my coworker?”

And with audiences of over hundreds of people watching you fall for him, nonetheless!

It’s irritating. You have a job that keeps you motivated to work hard. It’s given you a dedicated fanbase, rare opportunities, and coworkers you all recognize as your friends. Really, finding someone to care for because of it should be a blessing, but it’s such a headache. What if your fanbases get jealous, or even worse, outright hate it? Would you be able to keep up a relationship when you and Ike are dedicated to your careers and streams? Why are you even thinking like this? You scold yourself. There’s no way this would ever work out. It’s all fantasy and smoke and mirrors, because fandoms love love. Shipping is never a reflection of the streamers, just the characters you play. You’re delusional if you think your stupid crush could actually go anywhere.

But fandoms love love. The only comfort you have is being able to pretend something could happen. The ship art is a lie, and so are the fanfics, and the clippers that tag their videos as Pen and Paper are just here for a possibility that never could happen.

The compilation is full of little hints and teases, and if you were being honest with yourself, most of it was more like two friends getting along than actual flirting. But you didn’t trust yourself to see your clumsiness for what it is when Ike’s little laughs are like music to your ears.

Damage control, you tell yourself. It’s like studying how you play your favorite games. You can pinpoint where you stumble and leave yourself open for attack in Apex, Smash, even Crab Game, and then amend those mistakes the next time you pick up the game. Real life should be no different. Just stop acting so dorky all the time by finding moments of dork in your VODs and avoid them next time you talk to Ike.

This clip was from your second collab with Ike. Captions floated along the bottom of the screen. Ike's captions were in his signature blue.

IKE: You know, there’s a lot of content about us two as a duo.

READER: They call us Pen and Paper, right?

IKE: Yeah, my art tag is flooded with art of the both of us.

READER: Oh my God, look at the chat. Mine’s full of people saying they love us together.

IKE: Aww, thanks, Quilldren! I’m happy I can play with Reader too.

READER: Thank you, Bookworms; thank you, Quilldren. Hey, there’s a lot more overlap than I expected.

IKE: They’re like Bookdren.

READER: Or Quillworms.

IKE: Quillworms, that sounds way better. They’re like our children.

READER: www

IKE: www

Never fucking mind about acting so dorky all the time. You kick yourself for bringing up Pen and Paper, and your giggly laugh. You hate it. A neon sign above your head that says “SIMP” would be less obvious than that stupid schoolkid laugh.

But Ike’s laughter is music, back in the moment and now as you revisit it, and his model’s eyes squint with a wide smile.

He really is an amazing man. If you didn’t know him as well as you do, you’d think he’s perfect. But you’ve seen him in moments of vulnerability, the parts of himself that never shows through on stream and even rarer among his friends. Through it all he manages to keep going, and you admire him so much for sticking to his guns even when he’s expressed all his doubts about himself. The fact that he trusts you enough to let his guard down only adds to how honored you are to know him, and at the same time, the fact that there’s so much trust between you two just makes you feel worse for having a crush on him. You hate keeping secrets like this when you let Ike read you like an open book for everything else, and even just wishing you were something more to him feels like a betrayal of all that trust. You wish you could just be satisfied to know him.

The compilation continues. The next clip is a totsu Fall Guys collab hosted by Fulgur Ovid that you and Ike joined in on. Fuuchan got eliminated early in the match, and spectated on you while the other livers ran around Roll On with players tugging them this way and that.

You moved around the rotating levels at the perfect sweet spot between two rings, and balanced at the top of the roll as the slime level slowly rose.

A longer wall approached, so you shuffled from one level to another, but another player grabbed your bean avatar and dragged you along to the wall even as you yelled out in panic on Discord. You smashed your keys to struggle, but they had an advantage, and it was clear the wall would push you down to the slime for an impending elimination.

That is, until a familiar Miku bean grabbed the other side of your avatar, and pulled the other way towards the ring that would save your life. Resigned, your attacker backed off and barely dodged out of the way while Ike’s Miku bean brought you back to safety.

The other two livers in the game were too noisy to notice you. Fuuchan was commentating every move you made, and when Ike saved you, he said, “Ike coming in clutch, let’s fucking go.”

Your recorded self didn’t hear him at all, though. You swooned, “Ike, my hero!”

Meanwhile in the present, you wanted to puke. You meant for that to sound like an over-the-top joke, but you crush is getting so serious that it sounds less like a bit and more like how you gush about him in private.

At least Fuuchan’s audio was louder than everyone else, since he was the host, and the other two livers were preoccupied with their own game to notice your lovey-dovey tone and how Ike laughed music at you. It was bad enough clippers transcribed your words in captions, but you weren’t sure how you would handle it if those three picked up on you and your dumb crush. The less that know about your workplace romance, the better.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

“Reader,” Aia coos. Even with audio only, you could tell her eyes were sparkling. “You didn’t tell me you had a workplace romance!”

Well, so much for that plan. You froze over. “Who told you that?”

Mika answers way too quickly. “It’s Alban’s fault.”

“Fuck off, Mika, you brought it up first!”

“You said it though!”

Man, you were already starting to regret joining VC today. You finished your offline work a lot faster than expected, so when you realized that three of your close friends in the company were all online in VC together while Alban privately streamed a rhythm game, you figured you would join the call while you prepared dinner.

But if that was your greeting, you needed to mentally prepare for the wild interrogation you were about to experience. At least Aia, despite her love for drama, knew how to navigate these sorts of things delicately. And you don’t mean to call Mika and Alban bad friends—they were the exact opposite, in fact—but they were much nosier than Aia ever came across.

“Okay, but Reader just asked who leaked it, and didn’t deny it,” Aia says. “So that means it must be true!”

Scratch that. Aia is the worst out of all of them.

“I hate you guys. No hello or anything, just gossip about my love life,” you lament.

She gasps, and if her eyes were sparkling before, then roses bloomed around her as she spoke. “It’s love?”

Mika shrieks like a banshee. “Oh hell no, you’re in love and you didn’t tell us?!”

“It’s not love. It’s nothing!”

“Nah-uh, Reader, no running away from it, we know,” Alban says. “Better to just get it all out in the open than pretend like nothing’s up.”

“You’re just saying that because you want to snoop.”

“I’m being serious. Keeping stuff bottled up deteriorates you, especially when love’s involved.” He missed a note. “Shit. And yeah, okay, I want some gossip, but I have a point and you know it.”

“Fuck you.”

“Fuck you, I blew a full combo just to say that!”

“Can I add? In case you forgot, Reader, we’re all in the same company,” Mika says. “Sure, I might be in a different branch, but who knows? Maybe we can help.”

“And fuck you too.” You sigh in defeat. As vitriolic as your shared humor was, these three were still some of your best friends, and you know they don’t mean any harm. “Ugh, I hate this. This is confidential information. Like, CIA levels of confidential. If I tell you guys, you can’t tell a single soul about it. Understand?”

The three all chime in agreement. And unfortunately, you trust them. You take advantage of your coworkers swearing themselves to secrecy to hype yourself up and just rip off the band-aid. “It’s Ike.”

“We know.”

“What the hell do you mean, you know?!”

“It’s obvious,” Aia says. Your heart hammers in your chest. Then she sputters for a moment, like she realized she might’ve hit a soft spot. “Well, you have to focus on it to see it, but once you see it, it’s hard to ignore. You two go well together.”

Alban pitches in. “Agreed. I’m not even gonna be subtle about it, you and Ike have great chemistry. I’m happy for you two.”

“Okay, I guess.” Your eyes drift away from your prepared ingredients to the corner of your kitchen. “But I don’t know. Are you sure? Because I feel like I always act like an idiot whenever I’m around him. And I doubt he’d ever feel the same way.”

“Wait.” Aia pauses. “You’re… not dating?”

“No. Just a crush. Not love, not dating, nothing. And it’s never going to be anything more than that because it’s just a big stupid crush on my coworker, who doesn’t even live close enough to visit, and this is all a recipe for disaster.”

She doesn’t say anything about that. Actually, none of them do. Even Alban pressed pause on his game, and the Discord stream went motionless as your words sunk in.

Mika is the one to break the silence. “You’re shitting me.”

“That’s the truth. Happy?”

“No, like, you’re shitting me, there’s no way.”

“Mikaaa.” Alban drags out her name as he scolds her.

“Hey, I’m just saying, that’s crazy, especially since—“

“Don’t tell Reader that!”

“Tell me what?”

“We thought you were already a thing. You know, dating, in a relationship, whatever,” Mika clarifies. It hits you like a punch to the gut. “Or at least that you had something going on, and kept it secret so it wouldn’t be awkward for everyone else to work with you two. Which, by the way, we’re all chill with, so if, hypothetically, you decided to hypothetically go for it, we would hypothetically cheer you on and set off hypothetical fireworks. I’d rent a food truck.”

Alban resumes his game. “Yeah, what she said. Go get that hypothetical novelist bussy.”

“Don’t hypothetically talk about my brother like that.”

“You’re sure this is okay?” You ask. “Mika, I know you and Ike are close. This isn’t going to make anything weird, is it?”

“You’re fine, Reader. If I had problems, I would’ve cornered you and threatened you over text ages ago when I figured it out.”

“That’s another thing. How did you guys know?”

Aia pipes up first. “I know I said it was obvious, but I think that’s just because we know each other since we’re good friends. You two just go together, you know? It’s hard to explain, but whenever Reader and Ike-senpai are in the same room you think, ‘those two would be cute,’ and then you realize they are cute, right there in the moment. And you talk a lot faster on stream whenever you’re both on the same page. Almost as fast as me.”

“Plus, it’s really common to see both of you on VC at the same time, and you’re always happy whenever he shows up,” Mika affirms. “Alban says whenever one of you enters the call the other is soon to follow.”

“It’s true. You talk fast whenever you talk to him on VC too, not just stream. And your laugh kind of changes?”

“Dammit, I knew my laugh was my tell. This sucks. This seriously sucks.”

“It might not be all that bad,” Mika says. “Who knows, maybe things might end up better than you expect. You should tell him.”

“No way,” you fire back. “There no way he’d actually reciprocate. And I know you guys are fine with me asking, but Ike himself is just going to reject me, and it’s going to be awkward, and literally everyone in the company who has ever talked to us will be able to tell something’s up.”

“They won’t be weird,” Aia insists. “We won’t, either, and Ike-senpai is a good guy. Even if it doesn’t work out, he wouldn’t leave you out to dry like that.”

“You don’t know. None of you have ever been in this situation.”

“That’s true, but there’s always a chance.”

“If you ask me, it sounds more like you’re afraid of what you think would happen instead of what rationally would,” Alban says. He’s still laser-focused on his game. “I dunno. If you’re really set on getting over it, then go ahead and ignore it, but that’s just going to eat at you for who knows how long before your crush starts to fade.”

“Well, I didn’t ask.”

“Fine. Forget I said anything.”

You regret the acidic tone in your voice the second you said it, but Alban was off in his own world of music. He’d tell you if he had a problem with how you spoke to him, but you still feel gross about your knee-jerk reaction.

You’re just… defensive. Yep, that’s the word. Whenever you’re this interested in someone, you put your walls up and protect yourself from letting anyone worm through and hit a weak point.

Aia hums like an analyst. “Just keep it in mind, Reader. Not everything is out to get you.”

You know your friends just wanted the best for you, but things just aren’t as simple as they’d like to imagine it. It’s none of their business, anyways. It was pure coincidence that they figured out your thoughts on Ike, and that means none of them have any real authority to advise you on your love life.

“I think we’re done talking about this,” you assert.

“Well, you heard ‘em. Pack it up, show’s over.” Mika changed the subject. “Hey, did you guys know if you try to break open a freshly boiled egg, it explodes?”

Alban slams his hands on his keyboard so loudly that you hear the switches over his noise suppression. The stream goes from a string of Awesome! notes to nothing but misses as he abandons the game. “YES. Yes, actually, I DO know.”

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

“MEAT! WANTS MEAT! WANTS MEAT! MEAT!”

“AAAAAAAAHHHH!”

The stream is to the birds. Fuck that noise. Godspeed to the Bookworms, they’ll need it, but not nearly as much as you.

When you were settling on a schedule, the last undecided spot for the week was Friday’s stream. That simply wouldn’t do. Friday nights kick off the weekend, and the break from school and work is prime time for a wide audience, so pretty much everyone in Nijisanji reserves their juiciest streams for the weekend. You’re no exception.

…Except for the fact that you didn’t have a clue about what to do for Friday’s stream. One Twitter poll and conveniently timed Steam sale later, you published your schedule with a game your fans voted on: Outlast.

You walked in knowing it would be a horror game, and you figured it would be fine. After all, you’ve played games from Chilla’s Art before, and a few quirky indie psychological releases here and there. You wouldn’t call yourself a stone-faced horror lover that can keep a straight face at anything, but aside from a few creepy moments in those game, you’ve kept your cool relatively well.

Outlast threw all that out the window. You realized almost immediately that you had no idea how to handle the primal fear of the chase.

Footsteps pound against a metal floor. You plead for help in the emptiness of your home as you smash the controls, as if that would make your character move the cabinet over the door any faster. Screams resonate in tune between you and the chained man in the room with you, and all the while, the howling of your pursuer grows louder and louder as he gets closer.

You finally uncover the door and dash through. Tremors run though all your thoughts while your heart beats overtime.

You still haven’t gotten used to all the jumpscares, even though you’re at the edge of your seat and ready to start running yourself. A fork in the road approaches, and when you start off one direction, you’re greeted by a bloodied man in the distance. “AAAHH!”

Faster than light, you slam the key to the other hall and book it. You spot a new storage container to shove in front of the door just in time for text to appear on the screen: Look for pushable objects to block doors.

“No shit, why wouldn’t you tell me that before, oh my God, aaaaah!” The screams—from both the voice actors and your own cries—grate against your eardrums while chase music thunders in-between the gasps for air.

As you grab the container and start to push, you mash the pause button. When the menu appears, you lean back in your chair and run your hands over your face. Your model pouts cutely while the real you whimpers. The mic barely picks it up.

You take a breath before groaning in fear and pain. “Guys. I don’t think I can do this…” Another groan as you trail off. “This game is so much. Give me a second.”

As you raise yourself back from your chair, it’s with a slump forward. Your chat is full of headpat emotes and hearts in your color, along with some quick words of courage. A few are recommending you take a break. “Thanks, Bookworms. I’m so afraid, but I’m committed and I don’t want to just leave it here.”

Your eyes flutter closed as you take a sip of water to clear your head. The cold drink startles you out of the dingy asylum atmosphere, but the screaming still lingers between your ears. “You know what? Who else is online right now? Maybe I need someone in VC to hold me to this.”

The emojis in chat slowly patter out as your viewers go back to text. Looks like most of your Bookworms like the idea of calling someone else while you stream the game. Some of their messages catch your eye.

gatamiizuus: you can call ike :ReaderHeadpat:

messXed-up!: ike!!

lunasmortas: what about ike?

A few more chats mention Ike, and while usually you’d be irritated they mentioned another liver out of the blue, your shoulders still relax at the sight of his name. “Wait, Ike? Is Ike here?”

You scroll back in the chat history, and search for any mod messages. Sure enough, barely a minute ago while you were still being chased:

Ike Eveland 【NIJISANJI EN】 ✓ : GANBARE!

You cling onto that message like a lifeline. Ike is familiar. Ike is comforting. And most importantly, Ike would never call you a pussy.

Chat floods over with his name while you check the official Nijisanji Discord server. Almost everyone in Nijisanji sets their status to offline by default, and Ike is one of them, but you still scan through the member list anyways, praying a little green indicator will light up by his icon.

His status doesn’t change, but before you can even click on his profile, your Direct Messages tab gains a notification. He just messaged you.

Ike Eveland: Watching your stream right now

Ike Eveland: Are you okay?

You exhale. Ike is the most dependable guy you know, even when it’s pure coincidence he was watching your stream while you freaked out.

With your heart still in your throat, you respond.

Me: uuuuuuugh i guess

Me: the game is really scary

Me: i don’t want to cancel the stream but i don’t think i can play it by myself 😭

Ike Eveland: 🫂 | 🫂 1 |

Ike Eveland: Would you feel better if I called you?

Me: i was just about to ask | 👌 1 |

Me: you don’t have to if you don’t want to tho!! i don’t want to be a nuisance lol

Ike Eveland: Don’t worry I offered to!

Ike Eveland started a voice call.

“Ikeee!” The second the call starts, all your restraint goes forgotten. “Ike, I was so scared!”

You babble on about everything you’ve endured up to this point: the gore, the grime, and the patients in the asylum that hunt you like animals.

“I’m here, it’s alright now,” he assures you. “I’m here, okay? Take your time, you’re safe.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m relieved. But it was so scary.” You sink and bury yourself in the collar of your shirt. “You’ve streamed this before, and kept a cool head the entire time, right? How do you do it?”

“Well, it wasn’t my first time playing, for starters. Everyone gets freaked out at first. It’s a horror game, Reader, it’s okay to react to it. I remember the first time I played it, it scared me so bad I had to quit after half an hour.” He giggles a bit at himself. The sound is comforting. “That was a few years ago. I think I had nightmares about it, until I realized I needed to know the rest of the story. ”

Your voice is small. “That was really brave of you.”

“I avoided it for days. I doubt that’s brave.”

“It’s braver than calling someone just to get the guts to play the game.”

“Hey, don’t put my friend Reader down just to bring me up.” He keeps his tone light to let you know you’re allowed to smile. “Being able to face your fears is plenty on its own, and you shouldn’t be devaluing that. How long have you been at it?”

“A little over two hours?” You glance at the stream monitor, and ignore the chat as much as you can. You still register the hearts in your color and his signature blue. “I don’t know. I did a lot of pausing, too, so it’s probably less than that…”

“But you were still able to stream for that long. Remember, I could only play for thirty minutes during my first time! You’re stronger than you think you are.”

You avert your eyes from your stream setup. You feel painfully seen, but the chat is nothing to you. “Doesn’t feel like it.”

“Then I’ll be here to remind you. Is that okay?”

“I’d like that.” You return to the screen, and in the darkness of the blurred labyrinth, you see your reflection stare back. Your hair is disheveled from how you kept thrashing around in reaction to the game and your shoulders are high with tension, but only now did you realize how the corners of your lips rose after the call started. Ike really got to you. “Thank you, Ike, you’re so considerate. I appreciate you a lot. You’re a really good guy.”

He chuckles slowly, soft like a blanket. Your shoulders ease. Ike’s words are just as soft, and if you didn’t know any better, you’d think he’s nervous too. “Haha, um. Yeah. Thank you?” He doesn’t take compliments well, but they’re true, and you hope he knows it as well as you do. He clears his throat. “Ahem. Um, how are you feeling?”

“Not great, but better. I want to try again.”

“You’ve got this, Reader, you can do it.” Ike is still quiet, but enthusiastic. “You can do it!”

You go shaky. “Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.”

But you still press Return To Game.

And when you scream barely five seconds later, Ike is still calm, and you hone in on his voice as you persevere.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

Just as you go to bed, you realize that you basically just made a fool of yourself in front of your crush by getting scared at a game he’s already conquered.

You slam a pillow over your face and groan.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

Ike lands an all-out attack just in time to check the chat and the swarm of viewers that just joined. “Oh, Reader! Thank you for the raid, it’s good to see you! Welcome, everybody.”

Reader 【NIJISANJI EN】 ✓ : take care of my bookworms for me? i’m getting milk

“Of course. They’re our Quillworms, after all.” You go fuzzy. He remembered the fan name! “Have a good break, Reader! Rest well.”

Reader 【NIJISANJI EN】 ✓ : 👍

It was the end of the week, and the stream you just finished was the last on your schedule. You announced a few days ago that you would take a break for a little more than two weeks so you could catch up on offline work as well as rest, and the Bookworms sent you off with a lot of love. It’ll be hard for some of your diehard fans, but you’re sure they’ll manage. You have a feeling it’ll be easier than they expect.

“Speaking of breaks, I haven’t finished my schedule yet. I think I’ll wait a day or two to post it.” The stream cracks in red and black as Ike’s party in Persona 5 Royal clobbers the enemy Shadows. Monsters bleed out behind the protagonist’s cocky smirk. “I’ll be offline for the next two days, so I’ll have some time to think about it.”

Ike mashes through the battle results, and sets back off into exploring the palace. His stream fades into background noise as you get back to the task at hand.

You sent a few messages to some of your other coworkers regarding your break. Next was finishing some paperwork for management, and reaching out to others that needed access to the files. Sure, your time off was for offline work, but the work you had to get done would only take an afternoon at most. You wanted to meet even the far-off deadlines as soon as possible so you could be properly free for the rest of your vacation.

By the time you finished your paperwork, your coworkers were able to respond to you. A group chat full of other livers had a new response every minute about the next two weeks, and Aia sent you a QR code that would let you save some time and money on your flight.

Ike ended yet another super-long P5R stream just a few minutes after you grabbed all your luggage, got to the airport, and made it to your terminal. You had some time to kill, but you were sick of the headphones over your ears.

Not to mention, you were waiting for the fans to catch up on the real reason why you were on break.

Curiously, you log into your private Twitter—you don’t plan to interact with anything but you’re always paranoid about your online presence—and start searching for the code words fans think Vtubers have no idea about. Symbols replace letters and names morph into sounds while emojis speak volumes.

The Stargazers don’t mention it at all. That’s to be expected, after all. Their oshi goes on break often, so nothing seems too out of the ordinary. Besides, you wouldn’t put it past them to have even more intricate subtweets than what you’re looking for.

Only a few of Nina’s Honeybunnies put the pieces together at first, but then you check Quilldren subtweets. As it turns out, when Ike mentioned he’d be taking a few days off, a few of his fans noticed how Nina was going to be offline at the same time, and a smaller fraction of those compared how Mika had yet to release a schedule.

Underneath your face mask, you smile. With the career being dependent on both anonymity and your voice, you wore a nondescript black mask through the entire airport in case someone recognized you, just as well as to hide the tiny giggle that always bubbles up whenever you watch your fans scramble around theorizing. They don’t have all the pieces, after all. None of the Aiadmirers nor the Renvaders even considered it.

They’ll figure it out in time nonetheless. Uki and Nina are close to landing, and Aia was the first to disembark her plane. The rest of your friends are set to arrive after you, and besides, Vox should be ending his last stream of the week right now. You’re sure the Kindred will start plotting in the next hour, provided their oshi didn’t give them too big of a hint about his plans for the next week as he’s known to do.

You board your plane and settle into your seat, ready to nap the flight away. You’ll need the rest, after all. It’s about time you join an off-collab.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

Nina doesn’t even get the chance to look away from her phone before she gets a rush of replies on her first voice tweet.

She doesn’t bother to read them anyways. She’s too busy howling out the lyrics to “Wannabe.”

It’ll be hard to discern all the voices. Ike’s high range is always easy to pick out, but Vox blends in as a bass, and you can always hear Mika’s grin through her singing. Ren and Aia are the furthest from the phone, and as loud as they sing, they’re still drowned out along with you, Uki, and Nina herself.

Mika chooses the wrong time to look around the karaoke booth. While Aia sings passionately about what she wants (what she really, really wants), her body language crumples and rises like an electrocuted high school theater kid. The ghost has a hiccuping, sweeping laugh that overpowers half of the singers, and then Aia snorts at herself when Mika covers her mouth, which gets Vox to snort even louder, and before you know it, it’s just Uki and Nina doing their damndest not to break. Even then, Nina’s voice wavers along to the Spice Girls as she resists a laugh, and Uki’s eyes are squeezed shut smiling.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

The bar stool slides out from the counter so quietly that you wonder if the Airbnb owner knew just how handy it would be for a house full of streamers on vacation. You lean forward while Mika tells a story about how she, Aia, Ren and you went out for a coffee run, and crossed paths with some teenagers with matching Iluna keychains on their backpacks.

Speaking of Iluna, their represents sat together on the couch. Aia set her plate and fork on the coffee table, not a single pool of sauce left over from the pasta dinner Vox and Uki prepared together. Somehow Ren made enough room in his luggage to bring along a teal ukulele, and idly strums along. Uki sits between Ren and the armrest, swirling the last of his pasta between his fork.

Across from them, Vox and Nina took ownership of two plush chairs that could only fit one person each. Each chair was next to a corner table, and they stacked their plates on top of one another to make room for a jug of orange juice and two cocktail glasses. Ike took a bottle of rum and poured it into his soda, then slid it back to the corner table before pulling up the bar stool next to you.

“It was like, one of them had a clear phone case and held it out to show the others a video,” Mika says. She perched on top of the counter itself, next to her travel microphone and the second-nastiest kitchen stream setup you’ve ever seen. She was no Scarle, but so many wires stretched across the island and along the way that it was just easier for her to climb onto the polished granite to keep an eye on the chat. “Smack-dab in the center was a PNG of Vox. And then a bunch of tinier Voxes around it. And here’s how you know it’s bad, you could see the color of the phone itself through the case because it’s clear, right? It was red. Red! That’s commitment!”

“I’m telling you, Mika, there’s no way they got a red phone just because of Vox,” Aia says. “That’s got to be a coincidence.”

Vox hums into his glass. “No, they absolutely did. You mean to tell me your fans don’t spoil you rotten and buy new phones just because they’re your color?”

“My color is white, Vox, like every phone ever is my color!”

“Still, I’ve never seen Aia go so quiet so fast.” Ren’s ukulele twangs as he grins. His fangs were just as prominent in real life. “It was awesome.”

“It was scary, but funny,” you say. “We saw the Vox case and the Iluna keychains, and all of us just went silent. And we all had masks, too, so it was like, one moment you could hear Ren’s fuckboy laugh, and the second we saw the case, we all put up our masks and went quieter than the grave.”

Ren palms the neck of the ukulele and mutes the chord in mock offense. “Hey! I’m not a fuckboy!”

“Didn’t say you were, but if you want to out yourself like that, be my guest. They’d chop off your horns and sell them like Kyo.”

“One of them had an Aster keychain.” Ren bitterly resumes playing. Uki sets his plate on the table and drapes himself over the alien’s shoulder as he opened up his phone to check the off-collab’s live tag. The stream was supposed to be a live Q&A, but was so easy to talk to everyone that the questions often turned into conversation before someone remembered the stream. “If Aia or I said anything, we’d be fucked.”

“Imagine how fucked we would’ve been if Vox woke up in time to go with us,” you say.

Ike snickers. “Is it bad that I would’ve paid money to see that?”

The two Luxiem members get into a playful argument over who would win in a fight: all the effort Nijisanji and its employees put into protecting their privacy, or one silly phone case. Ren’s riffing turns into a simple rendition of “Iris” and Nina hums along from across the living room. The ukulele is slow and unique enough to not be mistaken for the original, but you wonder if those two would be able to avoid copyright entirely.

Nonetheless, the vibe is comfortable. You’re miles away from home, but in a room with some of your closest friends in the world, it’s like you never left. Truthfully, it’s more like you’ve finally found your place. The music just feels right, like it was written for this moment, and Aia leans back into the couch while Nina sways in her seat to the jaunty little ukulele. Ren looks as cheery as his instrument sounds, especially with a peaceful Uki nuzzled up to him.

While Ike and Vox go at it, Mika props her chin up with both hands and watches them like a reality TV show. There’s a glint in Vox’s eyes as Ike drums up a snide response, the only sane man to the demon’s goofiness. He brings his rum and coke to his lips like punctuation, a silent so, what? hidden in the boozy soda.

Vox knows how to run his mouth, and he launches into one of his patented anecdotes. While all eyes are on the demon and the chat hones in on his voice, you focus on how Ike tilts his head up to drink. His neck stretches out from the collar of his black band tee, and with each sip, his Adam’s apple bobs.

You’ve always thought he was good-looking on stream, but he’s gorgeous in person, all long lines and graceful features, and cameras can’t capture the tiny little freckles drizzled down the back of his neck. You didn’t even know he had freckles. It was only after you saw him for the first time that you noticed pale, reddish dots all over his nose and cheeks, fading out by his temples and the arch of his lips. Spending the day walking around in the sun from place to place revealed more whenever the wind flicked his jacket collar out right. They scatter at his nape, right below the blue tips of his hair, and meet one another further down his back, or so you’d presume. Without the jacket, you can catch marks spread out along his arms with distance between one another, and his shirt sleeve starts right where the freckles cluster together. You can only imagine how far down they go.

You avert your eyes. You can’t think about what’s under the shirt when you’re sitting right next to him, and certainly not while on stream, even if chat can’t see you check him out!

Unfortunately, the side opposite of Ike is the one with Ren and Uki. Those two are idyllic. Without a care in the world, it seems. You envy how easily Uki can act on what he wants, even if you know he doesn’t see Ren like how you see Ike. Ren doesn’t mind it at all, either. He literally lives by the rhythm of his own ukulele.

Ike lowers his drink with his eyes closed, as if it would make the refreshing feeling last longer. His eyelashes are the same ashen color as his hair. Gold gleams between his ears and on the chain of his glasses.

Possessed by the music, and distracted by the rambling, you become one with the background and lean along Ike’s arm.

It’s an indulgent dip into the waters, but shallow compared to all you feel for him. Ever since you met Ike in person it’s been easier to control yourself around him, and if anything, you’re reminded that this is the man you’ve gotten the closest to in both career and friendship. The only barrier between your cheek and his body is his shirt sleeve, but your arm rests against his forearm, right where the freckles taper off. There’s no resistance at all as you make yourself comfortable in the crook of his arm.

But you hold yourself back. Even though the off-collab made you feel gutsier than before, you think that you’d pass out if you tried anything else. Besides, you feel so at peace against his arm, but too afraid to look up and see his reaction.

The blend of peace and fear churns in your heart as it dawns on you: you were wrong to call this a crush. It runs far deeper than you could’ve imagined.

Vox says something with finality. His voice snaps you out of your thoughts, but the words go unregistered. As he spoke, his eyes drifted around with his body language, but he snaps to look at Ike expectantly. You swear his smirk gets a little more mischievous as he does.

The air stills, even though you know eyes aren’t on you, just the man you lean on. It stays frozen as Ike waits to respond. You still don’t have the heart to look up at him and break your selfish, unrequited fantasy.

You just want to stay here, unresisted.

Ike deadpans. “Anyways.”

Just like that, the moment is over, and Mika laughing at Vox striking out clears the air around you. But Vox’s eyes fall to you for just a split second as he moves in his seat. Frost settles down your back at the thought that he knows, but there’s a solid chance he hasn’t connected the dots. You pray he hasn’t.

Then you see Fox Mom herself right behind him, and she shoots you a shit-eating grin with a hand over her heart and a glass in the other.

No doubt about it. You’re screwed.

The frost turns to glaciers and burns into hot shame all at once. You love Nina, you really do, and you’d always consider her a good friend before coworker. However, she’s known for fishing around for any crumb of fanservice, and she gets straight to the point whenever she eggs it on, not to mention how she loves to tease her kids on just about anything. You are never going to hear the end of this if she can help it.

You really don’t know what you expected. It feels like everyone’s staring at you, even the chat. You can’t help but feel bitter. How come Uki can flirt with as many guys as he wants, you wonder, but I can’t even touch Ike without getting eyed up?

You know the answer, but it doesn’t do anything to help the bitterness and the embarrassment, and how much you want to hide. On instinct, you take advantage of the warmth and nestle yourself deeper into Ike to hide your face, just in time as he curls his head above yours.

Nina makes a sound kind of like a fork stuck in the garbage disposal for the briefest of moments before smashing her lips together and bringing her glass to her mouth like a mute button. As if you didn’t feel seen enough.

“Find any other questions, Uki-senpai?” Aia’s nose is buried in her phone, and God, you could kiss her for changing the subject. As much as she poked fun about you about Ike, she was still a total angel and a ride-or-die all at once.

“Oh, I have questions,” Uki says. Luckily, he’s graceful enough to leave it at that. “Twitter wants to know first impressions for everyone that hasn’t off-collabed before.”

Ren speaks. “I think the only person I’ve done an off-collab with before is Nina, so is it cool if I go first?”

Aia gestures for him to go on. She’s still stuck on her phone as he continues.

Your phone vibrates in your pocket, but you ignore it. Then again and again and again, and when you finally check it, you understand why. When Aia, Mika and Alban first heard you spill your feelings for Ike, they made a group chat dedicated to wingmanning—or at least, that’s what they pitched it as. They tease you more than anything else, and as irritating as it gets… you have to admit, it’s nice to confide in them, and nice to know they wouldn’t hold it against you.

Anyways, Alban’s going apeshit.

Group Chat: 💙 PENANDPAPER REAL 2K4EVER 💕 (4 Members)

Aia Amare: image.png | 📌 2 |

Alban Knox: AKDHSLSJDKSHSA

Alban Knox: AASDFSDF

Alban Knox: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Alban Knox: AAAAAAAAAA

Alban Knox: HAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAA AAAAAAA KYAAAAAAAA

Alban Knox: 💕💕💕💙💕💙💕💙💙💙💕💙💕💕💙

Alban Knox: 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳

Alban Knox: HOW ARE YOU GUYSS NOT LOSING YUOR MINDSA BOUT THIS

Aia Amare: I AM

Me: omfg did you seriously get a picture of us

Alban Knox: WHAT ARE YOU DOINGGGGGGG DONT CHDCK THIS GC | 👆 1 |

Me: wtf did you expect you’re spamming

Alban Knox: YOU AR ELITERALLY CUDDLNG GO FOCUS ON THAY JOT US

Me: we are not cuddling

Alban Knox: YOU ARE

Aia Amare: YOU ARE

Mika Melatika pinned a message. | 🖕 1 |

Me: mika wth you too? 😭

Mika Melatika: image.png

Me: did you srsly take a selfie with us in the background

Mika Melatika: YES this needs to be immortalized

Me: you people suck | 🥰 3 |

Alban Knox: GET THAT NOVELIST BUSSY!!!!

Aia Amare: As if you aren’t about to save that picture yourself~

Alban Knox: NOVELUSSY!!!!!!!!!

Fuck, she got you there. You cast a pointed look at the angelic maiden herself, or at least as pointed as you can be with a man you’re scared to love wrapped around you. She looks as satisfied as a cat pushing a glass off a counter.

You set your phone on ‘do not disturb’ and placed it behind you on the counter with a huff.

“Reader, honey, how about you?” Nina leans forward, half-lidded and as sultry as ever. She swirled her drink around in its glass. “It’s your first off-collab ever, right? I’d love to hear what you have to say.”

“Oh, well, um.” Your brain struggles to catch up. “First impressions, right…”

Aia slips you a thumbs up. You’re going to rip her a new one after this. Her, and Mika, and definitely Nina; this is the most subtle Nina’s ever been but you can tell she’s fishing for an answer here. You can take your friends figuring it out, embarrassing as it is, but you are not about to expose yourself to thousands of live viewers.

“It’s kind of crazy actually meeting up with everyone,” you start. “I’ve known them for so long, but all online, and being able to match the voice to the face in real life, I don’t think I can actually describe it. It’s kind of surreal, but it feels so nice to just talk to them in person. Aia, Nina and Uki were the first people I met up with, and man, those three are a sight. I know everyone says it, but Uki is absolutely the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen. Nina and Aia are really pretty, too. Hey, Aiadmirers, did you know when your oshi laughs, she looks just as cute as she sounds?”

Aia yells. “Reader, shut up!”

“Then stop being so cute all the time, you dork!”

“I’m not a dork! I’m cool!”

You resume, satisfied with your revenge. “Mika and Vox are both really chill. They’re kind of quiet, so if you’re just walking by, you’d think they’re two normal people just going about their days. But whenever we talk it’s always something insane. Vox sounds like a dignified gentleman and Mika is kind of like that cool girl that you want to be friends with, but if you actually pay attention, Mika’s showing Vox a picture of her insides during surgery while he’s reciting something about the Bite of ‘87. And Ren is probably one of the most straightforward people you’ll ever see. He’s so optimistic, and really expressive, too, even though most of the expressions are all different types of smiles.”

“What’s your impression of Ike?” Nina asks.

What does she expect you to say to that one, that screens can’t capture how the sun glitters through his glassy green eyes? Hearing him say your name in-person sends shockwaves through your body? How you want to kiss every little freckle he’s never mentioned before and keeps hidden under long sleeves, even though it’s the beautiful skin he lives in daily?

“Same old Ike. He’s exactly like how I expected,” you say. A total fib.

She cocks her head. “Really? Even after all the time you’ve spent together?”

“I’m trying to hang out with everyone.”

“You haven’t answered my question.”

Cornered. Nina takes a long, slow drink from her glass as you scramble for a quick answer that won’t immediately out you. “Whenever I talk to Ike, he’s really emotive. You can tell what he’s thinking before he says anything. He also has a good sense of style, so he’s fun to go shopping with, and honestly, fun to do anything with. He’s someone you can always have a good time with, and always makes you feel so comfortable around him. Ike’s magnetic.”

Mika muffles a coo behind you. You’re going to kill her if you survive this stream.

“That’s very sweet, Reader,” Nina replies. “Hear that, Ike?”

“Yes, I did.” He sounds strained.

“Got any feelings about it?”

“Yes? I mean—er, thanks?” You feel Ike’s head rustle. “I, umm. What am I supposed to say about that?”

“I don’t know. I just think that about you, that’s all…”

“Aww, cute. I love that you love each other,” Nina muses.

Ike spits out, “It’s not like that!” Just as you admit, “Yeah, I guess so.”

You process his words too late, though, and even as you sputter the ukulele music cuts out just in time with Nina and Mika’s unfiltered fangirl squeals. Ren’s palms mute the chord as his eyes go wide. Aia is already on her phone with her jaw to the floor and Uki throws a look at Nina while he mouths, did that just happen?

“I-I mean!” Your throat goes dry and Ike lurches away from you when Vox gleefully shakes Nina like a rag doll. “I—wh—Ike, I mean, of course I love you—“ Mika screams again— “As a friend!”

When you turn to face Ike, he’s curled up into a ball on the barstool with his shirt collar over his face. Even as you feel the blood rush to your face, you keep shouting. That’s all you have left. You’re live. “Like, we’re best friends on and off stream and I love you!”

He mutters something, but you can’t tell what. Only his neck and the tips of his ears poke out from his shirt. Were they always that red?

You repeat yourself. “I said, we’re best friends and I love you, so much!”

“And I said, I know, thank you, I love you too, Reader!” Ike jerks out to face you as he cries. He looks like a tomato.

Then he buries his face into his hands and squeaks like how he always does when something’s too cute to handle, or he’s got too many emotions he needs to let out. “You can’t see me, I’m too embarrassed. I’m hiding forever and I’m never coming out.”

You hope the ground swallows you up and you never have to confront this moment again.

Uki hisses under his breath and muffles Ren's ukulele. You don't know what he said, but you realize all too late that the alien prince himself was laying down the first few notes of “Fly Me To The Moon.”

While you slump and fold your arms over your face on the counter in pure embarrassment, Aia stands up and commandeers the mic. She slaps a hand over Mika’s mouth to muffle the scream. “Man, bummer that Ike-senpai is gone from us forever, but you know what else might be gone forever if you don’t get it now? The sponsor for this stream, our current limited-edition Nijisanji voice packs!”

And as much as you could kiss her yet again for changing the subject, you can’t get over how everything blew up in the last five minutes, and groan into your arms instead.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

The stream passed, luckily, without a hitch after that. No one asked any questions, but it was pretty damn clear everyone in the room had an idea of what just happened, and the impending shitstorm. In fact, it was so clear that when you stalked off to your room to sulk, no one made a fuss, and when you realized ten minutes into your sulking session that you left your phone on the counter, you figured it wasn’t worth it to show your face again until after you finished your pity party.

The entire time, you laid in your bed with a pillow over your face so you could pretend like you were being absorbed into the sweet embrace of death. Overdramatic, sure, but you figured you were justified.

Without your phone, you had no way to check exactly how bad the fallout was on Twitter. The poor Pen and Paper tags were sure to be flooded with fans imagining a happy ending to that stint you’d never be able to experience yourself, like salt in the wound. Not to mention, it was a huge seven-person off-collab! It didn’t just end with the Pen and Paper fans. No, it would extend past the Bookworms and the Quilldren, and certainly to the rest of the fandoms with an oshi in this Airbnb. Maybe even the offshoot viewers who don’t regularly watch your content, but made an exception for the off-collab, or, you know, the ones who have no idea who you or Ike are but can’t get enough of the whole accidental-confession-live-on-stream thing. Forget Nina; the entire Vtuber community is never, ever, ever going to live this down.

Ike sounded so distraught, too. You wanted to kick yourself for it. Not only did you make a fool of yourself, but he got caught in the crossfire just because you didn’t catch yourself slipping. Not like he’d reciprocate anyways. He’s always been bad at taking compliments, but you keep thinking about how embarrassed he was about you loving him.

All your frustration and humiliation coursed through the darkness under your pillow, and you stew so bitterly that you don’t even dream when you fall asleep.

You just wake up groggy and exhausted, but too restless to go back to sleep. You look out the window, and the stars have barely come out to play in the early night sky.

As much as you’d hate to admit it, that impromptu nap made you tired of brooding. Besides, you can’t hide from your friends forever. Hopelessly in love or not, they’re still your friends, and even if you decided to stream during the trip, this off-collab was always about spending time with them instead of worrying over your online presence.

It takes you half an hour to hype yourself up, but eventually, you open your door and step out into the hall.

You can already hear voices further away in the Airbnb. You place one of them as Nina, and after her, a baritone that could only belong to Vox.

“…Fuck Twitter, they’re going to forget about it in two weeks or less anyways.” You overhear as you walk down the hall of rooms and closer to the living room. You’ve heard Vox passionate before, but never this serious as well. “Besides, what exactly did they say?”

A mumble. You can’t place the words, but you bristle when you recognize the voice. That’s unmistakably Ike.

“See? Again, I’m so sorry. I was out of line, and I forgot my place. I shouldn’t have interrogated them like that,” Nina says. “But you’re overthinking what they said.”

Another mumble. By now, you’re in the kitchen. You lift your phone from where you left it, and hold your fingers over the half of the screen where your notifications appear as you check the time. It’s barely 11 PM.

The kitchen and living room are connected, with plenty of seating space all around. That was why Mika’s travel laptop was still on the counter and plugged into the wall from the stream earlier, but on the other side of the wall from the kitchen, you noticed an open window and silhouettes from it. Four people sat on the shallow roof overlooking the uneven ground plenty of feet under the building. A pair of fox ears twitch at the night wind as they watched the stars grow brighter in the sky.

You look through the fridge. You’re peckish, but if you were to be honest with yourself, you’re trying to stay quiet for a reason.

There’s a huff. “Oh my god, dude. Just tell Reader already.”

You stand up a little straighter. Mika was with them? Were they talking about you?

“There’s nothing to be said, Mika!” Ike huffs back. “I’m screwed anyways. Just drop it, okay? I don’t need this getting in the way of what was supposed to be just a normal trip.”

“You can’t keep running away forever. Just act like an adult and tell them. It’s going to be fine, I swear.”

“And how exactly do you know that?”

“Well…” Mika trails off. “I can’t say. I just know, okay?”

“Uh-huh. And I know I’m screwed.” The wind rustles outside. You stay motionless. “Just two weeks. Can I please just have two weeks where I don’t have to worry about this until the trip is over.”

It’s a question, but he says it with such exasperation that no one can consider any other answers.

“Fine.” Nina relinquishes. “Have it your way. I’m just worried for you two.”

“It’s going to work out, Ike. But I’m tired.” Vox stifles a yawn. “Tomorrow is going to be better. Let it go for the night and come back to it once you’re in better shape, and just remember. It’s going to work out.”

“Thanks, Vox.”

“Now get in here.”

You hear shuffling fabric before the two men start yelling. Vox cackles while Ike cries through gritted teeth. “Dang it, Vox, I’m going to shove you off this roof!”

“Get ruffled, idiot! That’s your fault for trusting me!”

“I just wanted a hug!”

You snicker under your breath. Vox loves to ruffle Ike’s hair despite the latter’s protests, though he tends to accept it instead of shove him off like anyone else that would dare. Besides, as dreary as Ike sounded during that conversation, he nearly sounded like his old self as Vox and the others laughed.

“I think I’ll go too. Mommy needs her beauty sleep.”

“Mm, I’m still pretty awake. Wanna keep looking at the sky with me, Ike?”

“Sure. Here, Nina, let me move out of the way…”

Shuffling turns to footsteps, and brings you back to reality. You busy yourself looking through the paltry groceries.

The sound of footsteps gets louder and louder, until they become a hollow click on the hardwood floor. Nina crawls through the window, but stops in her tracks with a startled noise.

You turn around and nod as casually as possible. “Oh, hey, Nina.”

Vox is also halfway through the window, and his eyes go comically wide as he forgets how to move. “Oh. Hey. Reader. Fancy seeing you here.”

“Yeah! Um!” Nina coughs long enough to make you uncomfortable. “What are you doing here?”

“Took a nap. Got hungry.” It’s not a lie. You grope around in the fridge and breathe a sigh of relief when you see a stick of string cheese in your hands. “You guys just hanging out?”

Nina nods. “Yeah, we were on the roof. It’s getting late, though. You should get some rest for tomorrow—“

Vox elbows her. “But not after looking at the sky for a little bit. It’s beautiful. Very clear. Romantic, even. The architects did a wonderful job placing this house right at the perfect angle to watch the stars rise. Did I mention it was romantic?”

You act natural and take a big bite out of the string cheese. “Once or twice. Is it the seniors’ bedtime?”

“You got me,” Vox says.

“I love going to sleep early and giving my kids private time before bed to reflect and hold deep conversations with one another about their feelings,” Nina says. “And also nighttime face masks.”

“Woo, skincare, what she said.”

“Hey, by the way, Reader, honey, did you hear anything we talked about?”

“No,” you lie.

“Cool,” Vox says. You eat the rest of the string cheese in one bite. “Good for you. And goodnight, Reader.” He dusts himself off before casting his golden gaze down at you. “Be nice, will you?”

Shivers go down your back. You have a feeling he’s referring to something unspoken. “I will.”

“That’s my sweet thing,” he purrs. “Anyways, I’m going the fuck to beddy bye. Honk shoo, Reader, don’t stay up too late.”

Vox struts off with dark hair flowing behind him and the scent of his aftershave in the air. He leaves you to stand awkwardly next to Nina.

Suddenly, she takes you by your shoulders and forces you in front of her. You blurt out an unflattering startled noise before she gets right up in your face and stares dead into your eyes.

“Please be good,” she says darkly. Was that a threat? “Please be so, so good to my baby.”

“I will,” you say, more out of fear than anything else.

She blinks once, then she’s back to the doting mother you know and love. She squeezes your shoulders. “Thank you, honey! Sweet dreams!”

And just like the Voice Demon before her, Nina bounds off to her room.

Huh. That was weird. Nonetheless, you’re alone in the living room, and you can see the outline of Ike and Mika sitting on the roof in silence.

You lightly knock on the side of the window. They both perk up at the sound. “Cool if I join you?”

Mika responds quickly. “Sure! Watch your step, Reader. The roof isn’t that steep but it would be awkward if you ate shit.”

“Agreed.” You step onto the tiling, and shift your body to match the angle. You feel like a newborn deer learning to walk. Luckily, Nina and Vox leaving meant that there was more than enough space for you right next to the window.

Ike sits between you and Mika. “It’s pretty, isn’t it?”

“Yeah…”

‘Pretty’ is putting it mildly. The stars are so clear tonight, and scatter across the sky like sequins. The Airbnb was located further away from the heart of the city, so the darkness only amplified how bright the stars shone against the stark night. A breeze drags through the air and fallen leaves rustle between the grass.

“This is so nice.” Comfort settles into you like the breeze in your hair. “I love it.”

Ike sighs. “Right? It’s so peaceful.”

“And there’s so many more stars out here than there are in the city.”

“It makes you want to just zone out and cool down.”

“Yeah, totally.” Mika coughs. “Huh! Cool! Well, I’m tired now. Just keep staying out here and enjoy the sky, I’m going to bed. Enjoy yourselves.”

Mika inelegantly shuffles around your bodies and slips back inside before either of you can properly tell her goodnight.

Ike cocks his head as he watches her stumble through the window. “She just said she would stay out…”

“Hm?”

“Ah, nothing. Just thinking to myself.”

With the extra space, Ike leans back and lays along the roof. The stars cast a dreamy glow over his soft smile as he continues. “It really is something that just makes you want to have a deep conversation, or just think, you know?”

You hum in agreement. You get what he means, but there’s only one topic you can imagine having a deep conversation about right now, and it’s the very one you brooded over earlier that day.

But Ike is Ike. He’s rational and calm and kind, and laughs at your stupid jokes, and texts you first before any of your other mutual friends. The night turns the tips of his hair bluer than usual, and the stars remind you of the freckles hidden along his creamy skin. His glasses reflect the galaxy above.

Even though today’s stream was embarrassing, you know Ike trusts you enough to tell you if you’ve ever crossed a boundary. After all, it’s commonplace to discuss limits on and off stream as soon as possible, and your friendship was so strong that you’ve both opened up to one another. He’d let you know if the whole cuddling thing was too much. Besides, he didn’t resist. He even rested his head on yours. That has to account for something, right?

You snap out of your thoughts when you feel a gentle tug on the sleeve of your hoodie. It’s Ike. He asks, “Lay down with me?”

A wave of fondness washes over you like the tide. He’s cute when he’s earnest like this. You get as comfortable as you can on the tiling, and when you still, you hear something shift before your hand grows warm. Ike scooted closer to you, and placed his pinky finger over yours.

This is bliss. A beautiful sight with a beautiful boy next to you. Your best friend.

“I do love you,” you say.

It just feels right to say.

Ike is silent. He doesn’t make a single sound as you stare up at the stars and the blackened sky. The breeze rocks a tree, and as the leaves part, you see the moon for the first time: one thin, waning crescent that blends into the darkness.

Ike’s head is turned away from you. You can’t tell what he’s thinking at all.

“…I don’t know what you mean,” he admits. “You do? As a friend?”

“We’ve always been friends.”

“Just that?”

“I don’t know what you’re asking me, Ike.”

“N-never mind. I’m sorry, am I making it weird?”

“No, you could never make it weird.” The colors of the view gloss together. You feel like a balloon slowly deflating. “Feels like that’s all I’m doing lately, though.”

Neither of you say anything.

This was a bad idea.

You swear the rustling leaves mock you.

“Wait.” Ike practically snatches your hand up. “Wait, Reader, are you saying you like me?”

“Yeah. I’m saying that I love you.”

Ike stares at you, and if you had to choose just one word to describe his expression, it’s stricken. His mouth is slightly parted, and his shocked eyes drive holes through your skin, leaving you exposed. The brief stutter that escapes him sounds like it was dredged out from frozen, murky waters. “I—”

He drops your hand and turns away.

“I’m sorry,” he finally says, barely audible. “This is… this is a lot.”

“I’m sorry too, this was a stupid idea. What was I thinking?” You get on your feet, but the slope makes what could’ve been a fluid motion into a stumbling, slow rise, as if your legs weren’t jelly enough already. You inch to the window mortified. “I think I should go. Sorry to bother you.”

You don’t dare to glance at him before you step back inside, not even when he calls your name halfway through the window.

Once you’re back in the living room, you cover your face, then drag your hands through your hair. You can’t even begin to describe how exhausted you feel. This is heartbreak, isn’t it?

You blink furiously, and the outline of a figure by the fridge comes into view.

“Reader?” Mika asks. She has a stick of string cheese in her hand, but walks to you. “Reader, what happened—”

You take her empty hand and pace to your room. You open the door. “Are you okay?”

The second it shuts, your breath hitches. Mika doesn’t hesitate to take you in her arms. She holds you as the first tear falls, and you begin to cry.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

You wake up the next day sprawled in your bed, even though the blankets are tucked comfortably around you. On the floor is a pillow and another pile of blankets, and when you recognize the dark hair tied into a loose ponytail, the memories of last night come rushing back.

What an awful night. Awful decisions all day, really, and all of them ones you made. You really don’t know what you were thinking. You groan at the memory.

“Reader?” Mika perks up. Her phone is in her hands, but she sits up level to your face on the floor. “Good morning. How are you feeling?”

Another groan.

“Yeah, I figured,” she says. “Nina, Vox and Ike went out to do their own thing, and I think Ren and Uki are cafe-hopping. It’s just you, me and Aia in the house right now.”

You rub the sleepy out of your eyes. “That’s cool, I guess.” You cast a downward glance to Mika’s makeshift bed on the floor. “Sorry for being a nuisance.”

“You’re not a nuisance, Reader, don’t say that.” She nudges you. “We’re friends. It’s what friends do. Speaking of, do you want Aia to come by? And Alban’s online, so I can call him, too. If you want.”

“It’d be nice…”

Less than ten minutes pass before Aia shows up at your door with breakfast sandwiches and orange juice. All three of you sit on the blanketed floor while Mika voice calls Alban on her phone. A pot of coffee brews over speakerphone as you recount last night.

“...And to make things worse, we just streamed yesterday,” you explain. “God, I should check Twitter. There’s got to be a million people with eyes on our ship tag, and ugh, I hate thinking about how many weirdos are going to push a ship that can’t work out IRL.”

“I can check it for you,” Aia offers. You hand her your phone. “You remember your Twitter password?”

“Yeah.”

“Cool. Sorry in advance.” She deletes the app off your home screen.

You begin to protest, but she turns off the phone and sets it aside, out of your reach. “You’re off the clock, Reader! Work troubles can wait until you’re back online, and that includes doomscrolling. You can redownload it when you’re in a better headspace.”

“I really hate admitting you’re right.”

“Shit, Reader,” Alban finally says. “He seriously dropped the ball. I’m sorry.”

“I know. I really thought he would get it, but it took him so long to piece it together, like he never thought about us like that before. I should’ve known it was just me. I’m so stupid.”

“You’re not stupid, you’re hurt,” Mika says. “It’s understandable, but that still doesn’t make it hurt any less.”

“Is it wrong that I feel like I deserve it? I mean, I knew day one that this wouldn’t work out. We work together online, and we have fans that ship us with each other and the rest of this company, for fuck’s sake. Getting heartbroken was inevitable and I still went for it. Either I’m a glutton for pain or I’m just plain clueless.”

Alban’s voice is distant from the phone as he messes with his coffee maker. You can’t properly hear him under his breath and over the pot, but if you could, you could’ve heard him mumble, Trust me, you’re not the only clueless one here.

But he returns back at the phone, and you’re totally oblivious. “You can’t choose who you fall for,” he says. “It was really that bad?”

“It took him like a minute to realize I was confessing. And then when he realized it, he apologized to me.”

Aia straightens. “Did he say no?”

“Not really, but why would he apologize if he reciprocated?”

Aia exchanges a look with Mika. Alban grumbles. “No fucking way.”

“Tell me exactly how he reacted,” Aia instructs. She plowed through her sandwich during the conversation, but she left the remaining half on her plate forgotten as she laced her fingers together and leaned forward like a calculated boss.

“It was like he couldn’t comprehend what I was saying at first. He asked if I meant it as friends, until he asked me if I liked him. And when I told him I loved him in response, he was so shocked that he let go of my hand, so I left.”

“No fucking way,” Alban repeats, and groans as he drawls out his words. You can practically hear him drag his hands over his face. “No fucking way. Ikeeeee. He seriously dropped the ball.”

“I know. I can’t believe it.”

Aia takes both of your hands in her own. “Reader, I’m not even saying this to hurt you, but this is the clumsiest confession I’ve ever heard of.”

You squint. “Right, that makes me feel so much better.”

“I’m really not! You know what this sounds like? Miscommunication,” she declares. “You didn’t get a solid yes or no. So now it’s going to be awkward between you two until you get an actual answer to the confession, or at least some kind of resolution. You wanna know what I think? It sounds like he didn’t even believe what he was hearing before you left. Which, by the way, is a common response to not just confessions but other major news, so chances are you didn’t blow up your friendship as hard as you thought.”

“She has a point,” Alban says. “I believe you, Reader, but Ike isn’t the type of person to just crush other people’s feelings like that. You just woke up, right?”

“I haven’t even left my room yet. Mika says everyone else is out of the house. He’s with Vox and Nina, I think.”

“So then he hasn’t had a chance to talk to you since the confession,” he continues. “And those three are really close. I’m willing to bet they’re helping him manage it, ‘cause it sounds like he’s going through it just as confused as you are.”

You stare at the floor. Hope feels foreign, yet you can’t help but wonder. You struggle to remember the exact way Ike reacted last night, but you really can’t tell what facts were clouded over by the rejection. A rejection that possibly didn’t even happen, mind you. The confusion and regret blurs over everything like water on wet ink.

“You really think so?” You quietly ask.

Aia nods, and Alban agrees over the phone.

Mika pipes up, a glass of juice in her hands. “Here’s my take. We can theorize as much as we want, but none of us really know what Ike’s thinking about, least of all you. Especially since you didn’t actually resolve anything, and that tension is going to eat at you until you get an answer or it actually damages your friendship. You ask me, the next best thing you can do is bring it up.”

She takes a sip of her juice and leaves you to absorb her advice.

You mull it over along with the memory of last night. “He called my name as I left.”

Alban chokes on his coffee. “He called your name?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t respond.”

“Oh my God. READER!” He shouts so loud that Mika turns the volume down. “I’m going to lose it. I’m actually freaking it right now. Reader!”

“What?”

“Fuck what Mika said earlier, you are stupid!”

“Hey!”

“I’m saying this in the nicest way possible, you are so stupid. He was trying to talk to you!”

Your face goes through a handful of emotions as you sputter. “Are you serious, Alban?”

“Yes! Mika, Aia, back me up.”

Aia crinkles her nose. “I did just say it sounded like a total miscommunication.”

Meanwhile, Mika twirls a lock of red-and-black hair between her finger, distracting herself. She hesitates, trying to figure out exactly how she wants to say her piece, before she simply shakes her head and stills. “Just talk to him.”

“Which is easier said than done.” Your shoulders roll back as you stare up at the ceiling, your hands supporting you as you lean. Even with your friends’ encouragement, the memory of how hard you blew it last night still haunts you. It’s even worse than starting at ground zero; you’ve already tasted failure once, and you’re hesitant to embarrass yourself again.

That stricken look Ike gave you flashes across your sight every time you blink. What was he thinking when he stared at you like that? You can’t tell if the disgust is true or if your anxieties are getting the best of you.

The best solution to anxieties, however, is looking at the facts—or at least, what isn’t tainted by your bias. Your friends mentioned there was nothing wrong with a workplace romance, and as much as the stream made you want to cringe, no one seemed put off by it. Alban and Aia are set on getting you and Ike to talk, and so is Mika. In fact, Mika spoke with Ike as well as Vox and Nina last night before you entered, and even if you had no idea what those four were talking about, you still picked up your name and that apparently Ike had something to tell you.

Pieces start to fall into place when you consider the three around you, staging an intervention over a late breakfast. Aia always gets you in situations where you can be close to Ike and bails you out when it gets awkward, and as much as he won’t get off your back about it, Alban gave you great advice between all his teasing. Mika was nosy at first when she learned about your feelings, but now that you think about it, she’s been incredibly tactful ever since the off-collab began.

You can’t help but snicker as you connect the dots. “Is this the first time you guys actually started wingmanning for me?”

Aia purses her lips. “Hey, not the first. Remember when we made that group chat? We’ve always been your wingmen.”

“I know. But you guys are seriously helping,” you say. “Thanks. Though I do wonder, Mika…”

She perks up as you say her name. “Be real with me. Do you know more than you’re letting on?”

She flinches. Alban’s fingers snap over the phone. “Busted.”

Mika holds her hands up like a criminal caught in the act, but there’s a loose, sly smile hanging on her face. “I don’t think it’s my place to say.”

“What do you mean, it’s not your place to say?”

“I’m sorry, Reader, but I made a promise not to spill, and I’ve been doing way too much behind the scenes to break the promise like that. Just do me a favor and talk to the guy, will you? That’s the best I can tell you.” Mika rests her head in a hand, and the smirk looks even more knowing. “And if you can’t figure it out after that, then you’re definitely stupid.”

You bluster. “I’m not stupid!”

“Still remains to be seen.” Aia gently flicks your forehead. “But you do look a lot better. How are you feeling now?”

Aside from the fading pain on your forehead? You’re surprised at how much lighter you feel now that you unloaded all your worries with your friends. The rejection still stings, and you’re not exactly confident, but, well, you’re smiling. The clean, tangy taste of orange juice lingers between your tongue. Aia and Mika sitting on the pile of blankets reminds you that regardless of your love life, they’d stay by your side until the bitter end, and Alban’s voice keeps you connected with your friends no matter where in the world you are.

You snatch Aia’s half-eaten sandwich off her plate and sink your teeth into the bread. She cries out in protest. “Hey!”

“Better now.” You set the sandwich back where you found it. Even though your future with Ike looks cloudy, the smile doesn’t leave. “Don’t flick me.”

“Speaking of.” Mika picks up the phone and scrolls through her messages. “Nina just texted that she, Vox and Ike will come back in an hour or less. Reader, are you up for this?”

“What do you mean, ‘up for this?’”

“Just seeing Ike again. It was a weird night,” she says. “I stand by what I said, but if it’s going to be too much too soon, then Aia and I can cover for you until you feel better.”

“I don’t know.” That’s what gets your expression to sink from light to thoughtful. “I think I want to take your advice. I just don’t know if I’m ready to talk it out yet.”

“Still wanna hang out with us or take a moment to yourself?”

“I think I’d just go back to moping if I was alone,” you joke.

“Cool. Let me go grab some nail polish Nina gave me yesterday.” Mika rises and strides to the door. “You have a steadier hand than me. And Nina said the color suits me more than her.”

Aia’s face lights up. She happily cries ”Girls’ night!” even though it’s barely noon and Alban is decidedly not a girl, but then he croons something in a valley girl accent so strong you can’t even tell what he’s saying. Scratch that; he’s a girl by association.

When he drawls out one long “Yaaaaaas, bestie!” you can’t help but laugh. Your love life is in shambles, but at least your friendships are solid as hell. You’d give the world for these three.

Mika returns a moment later, travel-sized nail supplies in her arms and a totally unrelated topic on the mind. The sharp scent of the lacquer startles you out of your thoughts as you uncap the bottle and Mika splays her hands out, and Alban and Aia air their opinions on something entertainingly dumb.

Nina was right: this color is stunning on Mika. You paint Aia’s nails too, and halfway through her second hand, you hear the front door open, the end of an intelligible conversation, and telltale footsteps, each diverting across the house. The girls’ eyes flicker to you. You know they’re trying to read your expression, but you concentrate on how the brushstrokes pool together into one smooth coat. Your thoughts are a storm and you can’t even pick out the emotion commanding it.

So you keep joking along instead and focus on the nail polish, refusing to give the storm an opportunity to strike. Alban quips off of you, and the moment passes as Mika and Aia return to the conversation.

That is, until half an hour later when you hear a knock on the door. Mika cocks her head, a silent question, and when you nod she stands. Her nails dried when you finished Aia’s, and dot the doorknob as she cracks it open. A tiny margin of light from the hallway shines into your room, and you realize she positioned herself square in front of the threshold, shielding you from the person on the other side.

She talks evenly. “Hey, welcome back.”

“Thanks. Is Reader here?”

Your mind thunders as you register the voice. You can only see the leg of his jeans behind Mika, but you recognize Ike’s voice on the other side.

Aia shuffles by as a second shield. “Need them for something?”

“Kind of,” Ike says. “Do you mind if I talk to them?”

“I don’t know, what’s it about—“

“Aia, you can lay off him.” You call from your corner of the room. “You too, Mika.”

“Whatever you say. Just let me just grab my stuff…”

Mika grabs the nail supplies and deafens on Discord, but doesn’t even think to pick up the blankets along the ground. Instead, she glides to you and whispers under her breath. “We’re rooting for you. Send us a text if you need anything, okay?”

You nod. Aia slips past the threshold, but not without shooting you a thumbs up and mouthing ‘good luck.’ Not even a second later, your phone buzzes, and you catch Alban’s contact sending you an encouraging message in all-caps.

“See you later!” Aia chirps. “Play nice, you two.”

The scent of the lacquer follows them as they leave, and the sound of their footsteps fade in time.

Still in the doorway, Ike raises a hand to fidget with the chain along his glasses. “Do you mind if I…?”

“Oh! Come in. Sit anywhere, I don’t mind.”

You stay planted on the floor like how you were with your friends, and Ike sits next to you. You face the wall in front while he gets comfortable.

No words are exchanged as Ike maneuvers around the blankets, and eventually settles down with his back on the floor and head resting on a pillow, staring up at the ceiling. The light is off, but the blinds filter in thin beams of sunlight that cross over the room and the edge of his collar like a grid.

“Lay with me?” He asks. Then it strikes you like ringing metal; you sit next to each other in the same positions as that night on the roof.

Suddenly Ike raises his hands like static. “Not that you have to! I just figured it would be good to get comfortable and all, you know?” Ike hastily explains, then clears his throat. “I wanted to talk. About last night, I mean.”

Your chest flutters at the mention of it, but you remember all your friends’ encouragement. Here he is, the novelist of your (heartbroken) dreams, already bringing up the topic you dread to mention. You need to take this chance to face it head-on, now or never.

You glide down like the ceiling is full of stars. “Okay. What do you want to talk about?”

“A lot, honestly. I don’t know how to go about it, but first of all, I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry.”

You cross your arms. “You said that enough last night.”

“Not like that! I mean I’m sorry I acted the way I did. I think I made every wrong choice once you said that you… that.” He shovels a hand through his hair. “I’m making it weird again. I should apologize for that, too, it’s just kind of embarrassing saying out loud that you, um, you loved me. Not that you should be embarrassed. I mean, I get it if you are, but that took a lot of guts. You should be proud of that. I admire you for that.”

“Slow down. What are you even saying?”

“What I wish I said last night. More than anything else, I’m sorry I got caught off-guard. I must’ve been so standoffish, because my idiot brain just didn’t believe what I was hearing until it was too late and the damage was already done.” Hair the color of ash and ocean falls over his face. “Honestly, I can’t believe it now.”

“I get it. Bad idea from me. Can we move on from that yet?”

“I don’t think it was a bad idea at all. I just had no idea that you liked me.”

“Give me some time and I’ll get over it, eventually. I’m not going to let it get in the way of working with you, if that’s what you’re trying to get at.”

“No, that’s not it either! I—“

Ike’s eyes squeeze shut. His voice is so quiet, you can’t discern what he’s saying. “…Actually, I’m…”

“Repeat that?”

“I’m happy. Really happy,” Ike says. His pitch rises like a balloon floating up into space, struggling to stay composed. “I’m not good at saying it, but I meant it when I said… when I said it during the stream.”

You wave a hand in the air. “It was weird timing, and I know you mean it like a friend,” you reply. “I didn’t mean to pressure you into saying it, and just being friends is fine. Even though I’m a loser that messed up just about everything.”

The hand catches in midair. Doll-like fingers weave through your grasp, and turn your touch warm as Ike turns to look at you. “Not with me. Don’t say that about yourself, okay?”

You stare at how easily he held your hand, and how his fingers cradle your heart between the palms. The corners of Ike’s eyes are narrowed, two beads of peridot stone that can see through every little line of text between your pages, but there’s gentleness under his glasses. Something uncertain and fluffy. Softened like a lamb even though he leaves you defenseless.

You don’t know what to say. Ike is beautiful and kind and handsome and thoughtful when he’s earnest like this. He’s got you stupid in the head and wrapped around his pinky finger, and doesn’t have a single clue.

Peridot sparkles. “You’re so much more than that. You don’t mess things up, Reader. I’m in love with you.”

Your mouth goes dry and your tongue is still tied. Forget speechlessness; the man took your own damn thoughts away. Your hand remains frozen in air with Ike’s. If it weren’t for the light drag of one of his fingernails along your skin, then you would have figured he took your senses as well.

But the drag ends, and the fingers unlace themselves, and chilled air fills in the gaps Ike once held close. The tips of his fingers rest at the curve of your palm for just one second more before they drift away.

The glint in his eyes dulls. His hand falls to his chest, over his heart, just as slow as he parted. The uncertainty took over, and now it’s like staring at a cloud that doesn’t know if it should rain. Ike’s gaze lowers to his heart. There’s a stretch of silence and motionlessness as he stares at where your touch once was, and you’re paralyzed where you lay.

Ike's hand curls in on itself, too loose to make a fist, and his lashes sink over his eyes. His mouth is set into a flat line, but the cheeks are dusted in pinks and reds and peppered freckles in-between, demure and shy all the while.

He turns his face away soon after that. Another break of silence, and he shuffles again, with your vision on his back as if it were a hiding place.

It startles you out of your stupor. The gridded sunlight lets you analyze what you missed. After months of thinking your feelings would never be reciprocated, Ike thought of you just the same. He’s always been in your corner, and you would go to the ends of the earth for him, and everything is in its perfect position. But his back is still turned, and the memory of last night—your confession, and his inaction—it rushes to your head.

So you reach out instead.

Maybe it’s a little selfish. You’re tired of bumbling around and concealing your true feelings, and now that everything's out in the open, you aren’t about to let go without resolution.

But Ike is your best friend, and the man you fell in love with. There was no way you’d ever let go in the first place.

You wrap your arms around his back and hug Ike.

“I think I get why you were so taken aback last night,” you whisper. Even though you’re alone with Ike, you still say it like a secret. “I can barely believe it myself.”

Your warmth is inviting, and every second that passes is another defense downed. Your head perches right above his neck and along his shoulder. It’s not your first hug with Ike at all, but there’s only been so many since you first met him in person that it still feels special, and with your bodies flush to the floor, it’s intimate. His eyes are averted and one cheek lays down on the blankets, but the tips of his ears glow scarlet under his jewelry.

“I’m glad you were patient with me. I really didn’t think I had a chance with you. You know, the long distance and the company, and you know, the standard pining fare. I’m really lucky.” A smile slips through your words. “I’ll stay with you, okay? So take all the time you need.”

Ike chuckles. Even his laughter is blushy-bashful. “I’m just so happy you feel the same, too. I don’t even know what to do with myself.”

His body curls as he lays, and your legs brush along his as you cuddle. Holding him makes it feel like he was made to fit in your arms. You sigh. “I love when you can’t contain it. It’s so cute.”

Ike squeaks at that, and unwittingly proves your point. “It feels so good to say that out loud. I mean, you’re okay with it, right?” A nod. “And you’re okay with… I don’t know. Are we still friends?”

“Of course we are, no matter what. You said you loved me first, so let me say this one?”

You have a feeling you know what’s coming next. You hug him even tighter.

“Reader, let’s go out. I don’t want this feeling to end,” he confesses, and your world turns into rose and blush. “Can we?”

Though you expected it, he still takes your breath away—until he taps you on the hand. “Come on, say something before my heart explodes!”

“Mine already did! I can’t even think straight, and—I’d love that. I really want this.”

Another squeal breaks out as Ike buries his head into a blanket, and your heart soars as he melts. He resembles a swaddled-up kitten, and the rays of sunlight line his silhouette. The fluffy blanket reminds you of an angel’s downy wings along his kitten features. You can’t even see his face between the blanket and his hair, but his squeal continues, muted through the blanket as he swoons.

Somehow that only makes you feel even more flustered. “No, don’t hide! I want to see you!”

Maybe it would’ve been better for your heart if he stayed put, because when Ike rises—with disheveled hair and glitter in his eyes the color of seaglass, and jewelry that frames his red face, and that galaxy of freckles you hold so dear and shine like stars between his blush—you feel your heart stop. Again.

“When did you start having this effect on me?” You ask, mesmerized, and before you know it you thumb over one of his rosy cheeks. “Your freckles are so beautiful.”

He sheepishly grins. “They don’t really show up online. They’re pale.”

“Never noticed them until I met you in person. I love them. I love you.”

The grin gets a little wider. One of his fingers grazes along the corner of your ear. Has his hand always been along your jawline?

Ike’s eyes are shining under the grid of sunlight. The lashes flit just a bit lower from your gaze. “Reader, can we…?”

You close your eyes.

And when Ike’s lips graze your own, you smile on instinct before you remember to kiss back.

Ike brings you near, searching for the taste of you as he continues. His touch lodges past your jawline and into your hair, and when one of the fingers grazes along your ear you’re reminded just how much you love Ike. All the yearning you hid for so long bleeds through as you sink down to his level with his head in your hand, gentle yet impassioned.

Then your face bumps against Ike’s glasses. The kiss breaks as you back away.

There’s a brief pause in the aftermath. Ike wordlessly adjusts his glasses, now knocked off-center. Despite finally getting on the same page on your relationship with Ike, you’re still as clumsy about your feelings as ever.

But the corners of your lips curve up as he inspects the lens you squished, then a barely-stifled giggle, and next thing you know, Ike’s laughing along with you, still underneath your body and with one hand in your hair while the other holds his glasses in place. He sounds as charming as he looks, and the fact that he joined you even when you chuckled out of the blue means that his mind is just as charming as well.

Not that it was breaking news. You know your best friend well, and now that you don’t need to deny your feelings any longer, you know you’ve got good taste if Ike’s under you with crinkled eyes and hearty laughter.

When you speak next, the giggles patter out between your words but the quiet delight hangs in your teeth. “Can we try that again?”

Then his lips are on yours again, and the laughter twists between the second kiss, and the third, and the fourth, all the way until you collapse on the blankets with arms around each other, staring up at the stars on the bland popcorn ceiling as adoration fills the space between you.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

bonus.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Starting soon…

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

The chat flickers alive as a four-pointed flower, a diamond, and a thorned heart give way to the stream and the novelist behind the stinger.

Kaidororero: welcome back ike!

Min (Ikey’s Book): 💙 IKEY IS BACK 💙

A normal broom: HI IKE

lunasmortas: 💙💙💙

viperip: ike! :_heart: :_heart: :_heart:

Sun shines through a clear day in Ike’s room onscreen, but in reality, blackout curtains block out the day outside. A sweet smile graces both Ike’s face and his model as the Quilldren welcome him home.

He greets them, and cracks open a can of soda as he quickly scans through the chat. Obviously, the off-collab is on everyone’s minds.

juuuuuuuuuus: did you have fun?

Kaidororero: offcollab POOOG

lunasmortas: SO CUTE :_heart: :heart:

Johnclone: Hope you had a good time!

zZirasthingZz: PEN AND PAPER REAL

Hm. A mod will eventually bonk that message. But then again, it’s inevitable that the ship would come up in chat.

Ike takes it in stride and ignores it like any other shipper, but his heart still skips a beat. Nonetheless, he doesn’t call any attention to it. “How about that off-collab, right? I met up with my friends! Where do I even begin?”

Ike recounts his trip from the beginning, and the Quilldren react to his stories with interest. He was one of the last to arrive, so Nina, Uki and Reader picked him up from the airport, and met up with Aia, Ren, and Mika at the Airbnb. Vox was the only one to arrive after him, hot off the heels of a flight delay, but the demon was a welcome party all his own despite his exhaustion.

“We went to karaoke once Vox got situated,” Ike explains. “Nina put that song in first so we could all let loose, and so she would have a fun voice tweet for everyone. Might as well confirm everyone that showed up, right?

“But after that, we didn’t want to stress ourselves out to perform for voice tweets instead of just having fun, so that was the only song we recorded. I wish you could’ve heard Uki and Vox’s duet, though. And while we were singing, turns out Ren packed a ukulele with him! Sometimes he would learn how to play along by ear, like a jam session. Mika knows how to play ‘Somewhere Over The Rainbow’ too, so everyone joined in singing that while she played it. It was so much fun.”

Johnclone: Everyone sounded great!

sunblast99: uki’s voice >>>>>> everything else 💜💙

haabinae: :_tskr:

Festersk: WHAT I REALLY REALLY WANT 🗣🗣

A normal broom: what did you sing?

Ike leans back in his chair. He blows a lock of hair out of his sight as he tries to think. “I remember Vox sang something by George Strait, so then we all egged him on to sing ‘Country Roads.’ He only did it once I promised to queue up ‘Toxicity’ by System of a Down afterwards.”

lunasmortas: OMG 💙💙💙

gatamiizuus: ayo?

Y A M: YESSSSSSS :_tskr: :_tskr:

haabinae: I LOVE SOAD :_fanboy:

Thornmy: SO COOL 💙

“Thank you.” He says it out of obligation. If he thinks too hard about the compliments, he’ll get embarrassed. “What else was there? I think there was some Motionless in White, and Spiritbox. Oh, and My First Story. Can’t forget My First Story.”

K. K. Soda: ooooo

Alban Knox 【NIJISANJI EN】 ✓ : what about mcr

asper ch.: METAL SCREAM?

deeboorgur: HI ALBAN

Y A M: MCR YEAAAAA :_glowstick_1: :_glowstick_2:

“I’m getting there, Alban!”

Ike takes a sip while the Quilldren greet Alban. He’s not too surprised Alban seems to know more than the other viewers. He’s close with almost everyone that went on the trip, and was super active on Discord during the off-collab. The novelist lowers his soda as the chat floods in orange hearts. He wonders how Alban learned so much as an observer. He should ask.

But that’s a question for after stream. Ike continues. “Thank Nina for that. She queued up ‘I’m Not Okay’ by My Chemical Romance, and then shoved two mics in my hands and Reader’s.”

And the chat explodes.

Kaidororero: OMGGGGGG 💙💕

Y A M: PEN AND PAPER SO CUTE :_tskr:

zZirasthingZz: PEN AND PAPER DUET

asper ch.: AYOOOO MCR

gatamiizuus: I LOVE READER

ystariya: PEN AND PAPER MY BELOVED

“It’s a really fun song! It’s almost all clean vocals, but there’s this scream in the middle. Up until then, we sang together, but then I screamed, and Reader picked up the slack and sang the parts of the verse I couldn’t. They’re amazing.”

gatamiizuus: READER SIMPS COME GET Y’ALL’S JUICE

Thornmy: THAT SOUNDS SO GOOD

lunasmortas: 💙💕💙💕

ystariya: READER KARAOKE STREAM WHEN

Kaidororero: AWWWWWWW

The model on the screen doesn’t have the same glint in Ike’s eye when he talks about you. That first day of the trip was all about getting comfortable after long travel hours, and the stories went on as the days went by. Sightseeing with Aia and shopping with Uki by day, and spending the night shooting the shit with Ren until it turns into the littlest hours of the morning.

“Vox wanted to try a bunch of different restaurants with me, but you know me, ya boi is not good with most foods. So Nina usually came along in case I couldn’t finish something. She and Vox would share my leftovers.”

Something fond crosses over Ike’s face. His eyes cloud over in fog descending over a clear-sky day. “We would always talk over food about anything. I appreciate it a lot. They really get me.” The fog stills. “And over breakfast one morning, they gave me some excellent advice over something I’ve been meaning to do.”

ver*batim: ❤️💙❤️

K. K. Soda: MILORDDDDD

nroneo: :_heart:

A normal broom: upcoming project? 👀

Johnclone: I love Nina Kosaka!

“Not a project, no. It was something I was really worried about, even when I was supposed to be taking a break with my friends,” he says. “But those two seriously helped me clear my head about it. Mika, too. Vox and Nina had a lot of nuanced advice, but Mika told it to me straight, and helped handle what I couldn’t. I’m really thankful to have them.”

His set jaw loosens. “Maybe I’ll talk about it one day.”

The model cocks to the side. Motion blurs the foggy sobriety away. With a lightness to his voice and a knowing gaze, Ike looks straight into the camera and smiles, sentimentality forgotten. The air clears. “But for now, it’s a secret~!

“Ah, now where was I? Spending time with my friends, right? Reader and I hung out often. Sometimes with others, but it ended up being the two of us more than not.”

Birds chirp outside Ike’s window in time with the hum of his PC. The backlit keyboard in front of the monitors glows the same color as the computer, a healthy blue light that tints the tips of his fingers. He usually sets it to a rainbow spectrum in his own time, but static blue is reserved for going live. It gets him in the right mindset for streaming, and makes his little apartment feel fantastical like the noble background that accompanies his model, even if it only reaches his fingertips.

He’s sure the Ike on the screen has fingertips tinged with blue just like him, an extension of the man outside the screen but without the grittier details. Smooth, pristine hands under gloves where his are callused from guitar playing. Nothing under the model’s eyes but lashes and a line of red that brings out the pink in his eyes, very much unlike the heavy bags and sunken face from an awful delay on his flight back home. No freckles, either, but even cameras rarely pick them up on video call. Nina cooed over them the first time they met, as motherly as ever, but behind closed doors Reader was utterly fascinated with them. They mentioned something about watching blush travel around his face with the smattering of freckles in-between once or twice… maybe more? Doesn’t matter when he’s never heard that before and it repeats in his head when he catches himself daydreaming. It’s one of the best things he’s ever heard.

Vtuber Model Ike’s face doesn’t heat up like how Real Ike’s certainly is now. He clears his throat. “The weather was really nice during the entire trip, so we would always get into good conversations while walking back to where we were staying. And sometimes we didn’t want to end the conversation, so we’d just keep walking past our Airbnb until our feet hurt or it got dark, whichever came first.

“Oh, here’s something funny. Uki really loves cafes, right? Usually he woke up early with Ren to go check out some cafes in the morning, way before the rest of us would even think of waking up. By the time everyone else woke up, they already finished their breakfast, and Uki would tell Reader about the ones to visit or skip. Whenever Uki recommended one, Reader always wanted to go themselves, so I went along to keep them company.”

Even as his skin returns to its original shade, the sweetness sticks to his throat like the soda he’s barely touched at all. He’s wistful. He didn’t expect to miss Reader this much; after all, his relationship with them has bloomed so much ever since you first started working together, but two weeks together (including mutual close friends) changes things. It’s only been two days since he returned home, but he feels out of rhythm with them.

He’s gotten too accustomed to them. Over the last few months, he thought he did a good job putting aside his feelings for Reader, even when Nina would tease him after every Pen and Paper collab and Vox and Mika would be right behind her, hyping him up to make a move. The fear of rejection was what motivated him to keep his close friendship with Reader without ever confessing to them.

“Reader…”

The world around him is nothing. Paused to buffer as he thinks. He can’t remember the last time he felt so happy. Just being in the same room as them makes him feel stupid, and surely he’s been acting like it. Everything he says sounds clumsy when he’s with them. After all, on that day when he owned up to the feelings he repressed for so long that he couldn’t properly react to Reader’s confession, he couldn’t say much more than how happy he was. Words fail to describe what Reader means to him, yet he’s a novelist, for crying out loud! How ironic!

“...Reader is so patient with me,” Ike says. “And they’re so considerate and dedicated. I wish I told them that earlier. It’s hard to say things out loud like this, but you only meet people like Reader once in a lifetime if you’re lucky, and even then, there’s no one quite like Reader.”

ystariya: i love reader

Kaidororero: pen and paper awwww

Y A M: PEN AND PAPER

acklmystafoot: ike is so sweet!!!

Reader 【NIJISANJI EN】 ✓ : 💙

“Aaah!”

Ike recoils like his keyboard is flaming lava. The model on the screen leans back and freezes in place while he nearly throws himself out of his chair. “R-Reader! What are you doing here?!”

Reader 【NIJISANJI EN】 ✓ : FKJLJJSLKFJDKS LMAOOOOOOOO

Johnclone: Hello Reader!

Y A M: OMG

Reader 【NIJISANJI EN】 ✓ : just wanted to say hi

Reader 【NIJISANJI EN】 ✓ : hi!

Festersk: LMAO

Ike sputters out nothing but empty air and nervous laughter. “Haha. Um. Hi! Welcome!”

Stupid! He wants to kick himself. He’s made improvement on verbalizing affection, and he’s comfortable with Reader, especially now that there aren’t any secrets left, but he’s still so unfamiliar with affection being returned that his heart is still doing kickflips in his chest.

haabinae: :_blush: :_blush: :_blush:

juuuuuuuuuus: most normal pen and paper moment

Thornmy: AWWW

Reader 【NIJISANJI EN】 ✓ : check discord

A normal broom: Oh?

“Ah, okay! Give me a second.” Ike keeps his Discord on mute, and usually disables desktop notifications when he’s live, so he’s not surprised to open the window to unread messages and some non-urgent pings. Sure enough, Reader sent him something.

Reader: because you were talking about cafes

Reader: image.png (3) | 💙 1 |

Me: Oh I recognize these from our first date!

It’s been over a week now, but just saying he went on a date with Reader has him squeezing his legs together so his feet wouldn’t start kicking in the air.

Reader: ahh you remembered!

Me: I should’ve figured you took more pictures than the ones you showed me

Reader: dw i have more i wanted to show you

Reader: image.png (8) | 💙 1 |

Me: Seriously how are you so good at photography I don’t get it-

Me: You’re really pretty in this one!

Me: UGHHHH WHY DO I LOOK SO WEIRD | ❌ 1 | 💕 1 |

Me: I DIDN’T EVEN NOTICE YOU TAKE THIS ONE

Reader: WTH YOU’RE NOT WEIRD

Reader: YOU’RE LITERALLY SO HANDSOME WHY DO YOU T H I N K I TOOK THAT PIC

Well, great, now he’s actually kicking in his seat. Ike is inclined to disagree, but when Reader says it, it’s a super-effective attack on his poor little novelist heart.

Me: Akaslwdnja

Me: Thank you 😭

Reader: anyways i gotta go i stream in 20 min and i’ve barely eaten my food

Me: Go eat! Do you have enough water?

Reader: just refilled my bottle

Me: Good then don’t let me keep you! Have a good stream!

And before he can overthink it, in the moment—

Me: I love you!

His sights are set on his second monitor.

Reader is typing…

Reader doesn’t have to respond. Sometimes just saying it is enough.

Reader: fdsjdfkl.

Ike’s been trying to relearn that lesson ever since he realized everything he repressed was reciprocated.

Reader: i love you too, ike

Words heard across the world, one of the people he holds most dear.

His heart beats loud in his ears, but he can feel it slow, somehow. Reader is exhilarating, but there’s security in them, too. The nerves kick in until he remembers they’re just as exposed as the other, and the vulnerability generate a sense of comfort. Reader makes him feel understood like no one else in the world does, and he trusts them more than anything.

He does. He does, he does, he does, even if he only has the strength to say it one at a time. Ike is in love.

Reader: i’ll let you know when i’m done streaming, we can watch a movie together after

Me: It’s a date! | 💕 1 |

It takes him a moment to tear his gaze away from your messages.

His streaming monitor reflects his movements. The chat moves along. Blue light spreads through his fingertips, just like how he imagines Vtuber Model Ike’s hands resting on his own keyboard, an extension of the man outside the screen, proof of the fantastical.

“They sent me something.” Ike’s laughter is gentle. “I really do love them.”

The chat zooms past, as expected. Surely that would get clipped alongside the off-collab Q&A, but he can’t seem to care. He doubts the fandom would really understand how deep the connection goes, and if they do? Some things are just meant to be private.

Besides, on the day Ike and Reader get comfortable enough in their relationship to go public, he knows the Quilldren have his back, just like Reader and their Bookworms.

“Reader, if you’re still there, we need to meet up again,” Ike says. “I don’t know when, but one day.”

A flurry of messages, but only one truly matters.

Reader 【NIJISANJI EN】 ✓ : i wouldn’t miss it for the world

The model onscreen grins. It pales in comparison to Ike himself.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

✧. ┊commentary ↣

✧. ┊ ⁭masterpost ✧. ┊ ⁭kofi

#ike eveland x reader #ike eveland #ike eveland fluff #ike eveland angst #luxiem #luxiem x reader #nijisanji x reader #nijisanji #4402 writes #🖋 anon #fanfic is unrealistic and i know this because clippers would NEVER use semicolons in their captions #eating string cheese wrong is symbolic. it represents eavesdropping and shitty lies that go unnoticed #i hope i never see a typo in this thing this fic is literally impossible to edit on mobile #update: there were typos. and i had to wait 3 minutes for the editor to load on my laptop before i could fix them. rip #pliskinverse

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