#title is from 'right where you left me' by Taylor Swift
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anomalyaly · 4 days ago
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right where you left me
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Summary: You died. Sebastian secretly had a portrait of you commissioned.
I profusely apologize for the pain.
Inspired by @sychenb for the prompt idea. Also crediting @sloanesallow for her headcanon about Sebastian keeping track of numbers.
(also sort of inspired by Unus Annus - iykyk - and Taylor Swift, if you couldn't guess by the title)
Tags: Angst, F!Reader POV (you), unreliable narrator, vague ship (Sebastian x reader/Ominis x reader), Sebastian was in love with you but never confessed, death, grief, ambiguous ending, overall the sads in general, I cried while writing this
AO3/Wattpad
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It had been 279 days since you died.
At least, that’s what Sebastian tells you — your portrait, anyway. It was all that was left of you after the devastating battle you had fought and never walked away from. You hadn’t even known he’d had a portrait of you commissioned when you were alive until you woke up, your body cold, your face illuminated by the flickering candles of the Undercroft.
He comes to visit you every day — some days, he simply sits in front of you, cross-legged and silent. You creep into the frame and study him, the shadows on his face, a haunted look in his eye — unfamiliar. You can only recall a bright, talkative, charming boy with whom you were once close. You didn’t recognize him the first time he visited you, yet his presence brings you comfort.
On other days, you see traces of the boy he was before. He bursts in through the gate talking nonstop about everyone who misses you, about something he saw that you would have liked or that reminded him of you. Sometimes, he even brings you gifts and places them in front of your frame so you can admire them when he’s away.
That’s where he keeps you — hidden behind a wooden crate in the Undercroft like a sacred shrine, untouched by anyone but him. He only speaks with you when he is alone.
Another boy comes in on occasion, and you only know because of the sound of his voice and the pulsing red light of his wand that you can see from behind the pile of crates. Ominis, you remember Sebastian telling you, another friend from when you were alive. Sometimes they argue, other times they refuse to acknowledge each other. But Sebastian always keeps you tucked away, his own personal secret.
“It’s almost Christmas,” he sighs as he plops down in front of you. “300 days since you…well, since— ”
He could never bring himself to finish that sentence, even after almost a year. You never finish it for him.
“Are you going back to Feldcroft?” you ask, though you already know the answer.
He shakes his head. “I wouldn’t leave you here alone. I couldn’t do that to you.”
You knew he probably hadn’t been back since that dreadful day. He had only spoken of it once to refresh your memory. He never brought it up again.
“Sebastian,” you say, and he perks up at the sound of his name leaving your painted lips, “how come you always hide me away when Ominis comes in? Doesn’t he want to talk to me, too?”
His eyes flash with something — anger, perhaps, it was hard to tell from your two-dimensional world — and he stands, approaching your portrait. “He wouldn’t understand.”
“I’m only a portrait,” you tease, trying to lighten the mood. “It’s not like you’ve been practicing necromancy.”
It wasn’t the right thing to say, but you don’t completely understand why. He turns away from you, fists clenched, shoulders tense and hunched over, before running his fingers through his hair and repeating himself more adamantly. “He wouldn’t understand.”
You remember him uttering a similar statement throughout your short life at Hogwarts — secrets that only the two of you shared, unbeknownst to Ominis until it was too late. “Surely he misses me, too— ”
“Did you love him?”
The question takes you by surprise, though you think it’s not the first time he’s asked it. “What?”
Sebastian whirls to face you, his gaze intense, demanding. “Did you love him? Or did you love me?”
Your portrait blinks, confused. Truthfully, you hadn’t been alive nearly long enough to confirm your feelings for either of them, but you knew that both boys had been important to you during your last few months of life. The portrait of you had only been a time capsule of your fifteen-year-old self — undecided and immature. You’re not even certain if the emotions you feel now are real or remnants of what you experienced when you were alive. “I…I cared deeply for both of you if that’s what you’re asking.”
Your answer nearly breaks him, as if he’s heard it a million times before. He tugs at his hair, the movement causing him to look frenzied and mad. “That’s not what I asked! Who did you — ”
“Sebastian?”
The voice of the intruder causes both of you to freeze. Sebastian pulls himself out from behind the crate and holds a finger to his lips before pushing it in front of you once more.
“Over here, Ominis.”
You hear footsteps and see the red glow of the other boy’s wand, then shuffling as Sebastian strategically places himself in front of the wooden box. The echoing footsteps grow closer, and you straighten at Ominis’s frantic tone as he speaks.
“Who were you talking to?” he asks. “I…I thought I heard…her.”
“No one else is here but me,” Sebastian says, guarded.
You can practically feel Ominis’s internal struggle to believe him. You decide that there have been enough secrets between the three of you — you’re not going to let it carry on post-mortem.
“Ominis? Is that you?” you call out. You hear Sebastian press his body against the crate in front of you. Ominis pushes past him, and they both tumble into it, knocking it over and exposing your portrait.
Chaos ensues at Ominis’s realization. The two boys are shouting at each other in front of you as you are helpless to stop them — Ominis, for having yet another secret kept from him, and Sebastian, for defending his reasonings. You aren’t sure if it’s because of jealousy, grief, or some combination of the two, but all you want is for the noise to stop.
You call out helplessly from your portrait, wishing you could step between them, just as you had done time and time again all those months ago. Before everything had gone so wrong.
Suddenly, hot, angry tears are pouring down both of their faces, and you are overcome with just how useless you are at this moment — a fragmented memory, trapped within the confines of your magical canvas. You want nothing more than to hug each of them, to let them feel your arms around them in comfort and take their pain away.
But you are gone.
The two boys now stand solemn and silent in front of you. Ominis takes a step closer, his wand hovering over your portrait before he runs his fingers along the gilded frame. “Is it…really you?”
“No.” You can hear the flatness in Sebastian’s voice, how tired and worn he truly is. He repeats exactly what you thought only moments before as if to confirm it. “She hardly remembers what happened, or even who we are. She’s just a fragment. A memory.”
You want to argue that it is you, but you know that he’s right. You barely remembered your living self until Sebastian explained everything to you on his daily visits. Whispers of your personality still shine through on occasion, but you are otherwise simply existing.
Ominis sighs, and you can hear the weight behind it, as if he had been holding his breath and finally allowed himself to release it. He traces his fingers along the divots of the frame once more, and you try to will yourself to feel it.
The two boys exchange an unspoken conversation that thickens the tension in the air. They seem to come to an agreement, and you let out a small breath — if you can call it that — of relief when they sit down in front of you and appear to bask in your presence. You stay quiet and allow them this moment — it’s the only thing you can do.
The days that follow are the same. No longer is Sebastian coming in alone for covert meetings with your portrait. Now, you see both Sebastian and Ominis at the same time every single day, a religious appointment that they’ve set aside just for you. They take turns talking to you, even if they can only manage a few words, and you learn to appreciate their company, knowing that you were loved by both of them in life.
Just like old times, Sebastian says, and the three of you laugh.
Christmas approaches quickly, or that’s what they say when they come to visit a short while later. They bring your favorite things from when you were alive — chocolate frogs, flowers, even books, which Sebastian reads to you — and they tell you stories about you and the kind of person they knew you to be. You wonder if it’s true, or if they have created an idealistic image of you since you are no longer there with them. Not really.
Kind, they say that you were, thoughtful, loving, self-sacrificial, and maybe a bit idealistic. You were friends with both of them, after all, the mischievous pair that they were, before everything was taken away from them, before life was unfair. They try to smile for you and remind you that Christmas at the castle is a time for celebration, but you can tell that it’s a weak facade.
You smile back at them anyway.
The anniversary of your death approaches. Neither of them can bring themselves to say anything, aside from a few words to honor you. So the three of you sit in tearful silence, admiring the flowers that they decorated your portrait with. You think you can almost smell the sweet aroma of the bouquets.
Something changes in the air — you can sense it — though you aren’t sure what. You notice it when their visits become shorter, with fewer stories to tell, and fewer presents left in front of your frame. Sebastian and Ominis start showing up at separate times, stopping in for a brief hello before leaving with an excuse. You start to wonder what they are doing when they are gone, but you are unable to leave your frame — only one portrait of you was ever commissioned.
Soon, they start missing days, returning at a later time with profuse apologies about how life was busy, but they still miss you. Difficult classes, detention, studying for NEWTs, and preparing for a career — all of these seem to take precedence over you. But they still manage to make time in all of the hectic day-to-day activities, and you look forward to the days when they do come.
You wake up one morning and realize you are in a different location — Feldcroft, most likely, though you hadn’t seen it since that fateful day. Sebastian hangs your frame up on the wall, promising that he and Ominis will come to visit you more often now that they have graduated.
They don’t.
The length of time in between seeing them grows longer, you’re certain of it. Each time one of them arrives, they look a little bit different — sometimes they have longer hair, other times a bit of scruff around their chins, but they always come in looking more weathered than they had when you last saw them.
You realize that they are doing something that you will never again be able to join them in — growing older. You start to wonder about their lives outside of you, yet your painted mind cannot comprehend what an adult life looks like, forever frozen in your adolescent state. You find that you are unable to relate to any of their stories, and they seem to be holding back in what they choose to share.
I wish you were still here, they always say before they go, and you start to wonder if they mean it.
At long last, the visits from your once two closest friends become scarce, and you aren’t certain how much time has passed since someone last spoke to you. The bright flowers that once decorated your golden frame wither and die, and the little gifts they used to leave stay untouched and unopened. The tiny cottage in Feldcroft becomes a sepulcher of your essence — a permanent reminder that you are no longer among the living.
You can’t help but wonder if it was something you did, if their reasons for not returning were your fault. You can feel the stories that they used to tell you fading away, unable to retain the memories in your current form.
You decide that it’s time to rest.
In the quiet house, just south of Hogwarts, your portrait closes its eyes. You do not wake again.
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boiohboii · 1 year ago
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Vigilante Shit 《pt.1》
(max verstappen x ricciardo!reader)
Yn Ricciardo is a familiar face for every formula 1 fan, having known her since she was 10 years old as she joined her brother in the paddock over the years, she leads quite a normal life as a normal college student with her boyfriend.. well, as normal as it can be
or
in which yn ricciardo gets through her first heartbreak by the help of her brother's teammate?
N.B: the summary isn't the best tbh... this small series (i think 4 or 5 parts maximum) is inspired by taylor swift's reputation and midnight albums (2 of my all time favourite albums)... I hope you guys like it! Also I left a hidden message for where this is going in here, so let me know your theories in the comments, thank you for reading ♥️♥️ °ps: don't worry, pt2 of the cillian x fem driver reader is coming very soon° WARNINGS: very short, not proof read, swear words, smoking and drinking (mentioned and in pics), 5 year age gap, if I missed anything else please let me know
faceclaim: jenna ortega
masterlist
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Liked by jakesven, danielricandynric, ynswife and 89,618 others
DannyRicUpdates: YN Ricciardo gone wild?? The 20 year old was seen tody smoking and drinking right before the Italian GP (not really a hot look, the youngest riccardo looks sick and tired). yn is known as quite the lovely and good girl, her older brother always supports her and takes her travelling whenever her studies allow while she has a lovely boyfriend back home who is always waiting for her with open arms(as documented through hers and Daniel's social media) so what could possibly push her to waste her life away?
ynric: this is ridiculous, first of i am 20 I can drink in Europe and second it's non of your fucking business you dickheads
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Liked by danielricciardo, landonorris, maxverstappen1 and 183,627 others
ynric: Tous les mêmes, tous les mêmes, tous les mêmes
username: the only 20 year old that looks like an actual 20 year old
username: now hold up, the first picture of her and jake was captioned with not all men... now she has this caption after 3 weeks of no jake
username: you might be onto something
username: I see where this is going and I don't like it
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Liked by Dannyandyn, mickschumacher, danielricciardo and 126,819 others
ynric: I regret you all the time
username: soooo, jake fucked up huh...
username: tous les mêmes indeed
username: fucking hell man
username: no cause y'all remember that video where yn and jake answered some questions and he said that he doesn't think she'd look good in short hair and that he thinks dark colors and black doesn't suite her
username: thank fuck they broke up, like sure I hate that she had to get hurt but she can only go up from here
~liked by danielricciardo~
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Liked by danielricciardo, Charles_Leclerc, ynric and 1,927,048 others
maxverstappen1: I like it 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️
username: max listening to Taylor swift was not on my 2023 bingo card wtf
username: no cause why did he choose the one song that had shit in the title
username: no cause yn having the caption from would've, could've, should've and now max suddenly listens to a song from the same album
username: coincidence? I THINK THE FUCK NOT
username: not him having the song on repeat 😂😂
part 2
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godmadeaterribleerror · 2 months ago
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It's So Simple - No Love Lost Bonus Chapter
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Series Masterlist
Read on A03!
Author's Note: Help I’m putting plot relevant info in the one-shots. Title from So It Goes... by Taylor Swift.
Word Count: 2.2k
Summary/Warnings: You make Ben do icebreakers. He's a little bitch about it. Takes place in Chapter 14. Just straight fluff. Tooth-rooting fluff. It's a little horny, but mostly sweet.
Tags: Soldier Boy/Supe!Female Reader, canon divergence, fluff
You drop across from Ben as he eats, fingers tapping on the table as he looks up at you with a frown.
“What’s wrong with you.”
“Nothing,” you shrug, giving him a small smile. “Eat your sandwich.”
Ben narrows his eyes at you, voice becoming muffled as he takes another bite. “Are you just going to fucking watch me?”
“I’m waiting. Chew with your mouth closed.”
He snorts. “You talk and eat all the damn time, Sunshine. I-“
“I am good at it.” You lean over the table and swipe a piece of jelly off his nose. “You are a fucking toddler.”
He catches your hand before you can pull away, and everything in him is easy. All of Ben’s rough words are still smooth on the edges, and his focused gaze is moving through you. Making your heart pick up and your body relax forward, because even with just a hand around your wrist Be’s warm and safe. His thumb is rubbing small circles on your skin, and his mouth is twitching like he’s trying not to smile.
“Brat.”
“Cunt.”
Ben starts to guide you around the table—shifting in his chair so that you stand between his legs—and you let him. 
“What do you want.” He’s grinning as he watches as you walk closer, his hand having never left yours. 
“I don’t-“
Ben drawls your name, tugging you the rest of the way and raising a hand to rest on your lower back. “You’re chewing your mouth like it’s fucking gum, and you look like you’re about to explode. Tell me what you damn want, so I can go get it and you can calm the fuck down.”
You sigh. “You’re going to think it’s stupid.”
“Seems likely.” He shrugs. “What is it.”
“Icebreakers,” your voice is a mumble, and you’re being very careful to not meet his eyes. You can feel them watching you, feel the rush of sheer confusion through his body. “They’re like conversation starters-“
“I know what fucking icebreakers are,” Ben snaps, and your face flushes as he drops your hand, lightly moving your chin up to force your gaze onto his. “Is this for team building with the Pussy Brigade? Because there’s not a chance in Christ’s pink asshole-“
You snort. “Christ’s pink asshole?”
“Shut the fuck up. Doing dinner with those idiots is already-“
“It’s not for team building, Ben.” You sigh, trying not to just fall into his chest and bury your head in his shoulder where you can’t see his reaction. “It’s for us.”
“Us?” He frowns, narrowing his eyes. “The fuck you mean for us? I know you already, Sunshine, I don’t need some shit ass fucking questions-“
“I know you know me,” you search his face, the clench of his jaw and knit of his brow, and he looks angry. Offended. You can feel his annoyance, but it’s not at you. It’s indignant, and bitter, and his hand has splayed across your back. Pulling you distractingly closer as you try to speak. “But you only know the big stuff. I want us to know the stupid things as well.”
“What the fuck are you talking about.”
“You know what I’m afraid of,” you mumble, watching his expression carefully. “And what I value, and everything important. But I want you to know things that aren’t important.”
Ben’s still frowning, but the sharp, sour feeling has faded and his gaze has turned to the one that pulls you apart. That makes you feel like he can see right into your heart and how it’s picking up just because he’s near you. Touching you. Watching you as he speaks, repeating your words in a low tone. “Things that aren’t important.” You nod, and he sighs. “Like what.”
“Just stupid shit,” you wish he would stop tracing your lower lip with his thumb so you could focus and make your voice firm. “Preferences. Likes and dislikes. I looked up a list, and we could just choose a few-“
“Fine.”
You blink at him. “Really? That’s it? You’re not going to tell me we’ve faced life and death together, Sunshine, I don’t need to know your favorite color-“
“Shut the fuck up.” He snaps, and pull you down into his lap. Holding your gaze as your hands fly to his shoulders. “Your impression of me is fucking shit, I don’t talk like a damn barbershop quartet bassist-“
“That’s exactly how you talk-“
“I said shut up. What’s your favorite color.”
You swallow. “I don’t have one.”
“Than what the fuck is the point-“
“It was an example, Ben.” You sigh, and lean forwards to speak into his chest. Trying to not think about how his hand moves to tangle fingers in your hair, or how his chin rests on the top of your head. “I want to know these things about you-“
“You already damn know my favorite color-“
“But I don’t know your favorite food,” you’re glad Ben can’t see you anymore, because you’re pouting against your will, almost desperate for him to understand. “Or your favorite flower. Or what dessert you’d be if you were a dessert.”
“What in goddamn hell are you talking about.”
“I think you’re fruitcake,” you mumble, smiling against him. “Because you’re old and made of rocks.”
“You think you’re fucking funny.” Ben’s words are bored and grumbled, but you can feel his amusement and he’s rubbing circles on your lower back. “Brat.”
“I’m hilarious.” You wrap your arms fully around his neck, leaning back to grin at him. “What desert would I be?”
Ben scans your face, eyes narrowing. You blink, having not expected him to take this seriously at all, but his tone is low and firm when he answers, “Boston creme pie.”
“Because I’m from Boston.” Your voice is dry, giving Ben an unimpressed glare, but he shakes his head.
“No.” He grins at you. “Because I want to fill you up with-“
Your hand flies up, covering his mouth. “Jesus fucking christ, Benjamin.”
He shrugs, still watching you with light in his eyes. You started it.
“I did not start it.”
You sure as shit did.
“Fuck you.”
I’m trying to. That was the damn point.
“Cunt.”
Brat. Move your fucking hand or I’m not doing any more of these stupid things.
You sigh, and pull your arm back. Ben is still grinning at you.
“Is that what you fucking wanted from me? Did you learn?” Ben’s voice when he says your name is mocking, and you just wrinkle your nose at him.
“I already knew you were a horny old fuck,” you look him up and down. “But I learned that you’re willing to do this.”
Ben rolls his eyes. “I can answer a bunch of stupid fucking questions real easy. What will I get-“
“If you do this without being a baby,” you sit up a little straighter, bringing your face only a breath away from Ben’s. “I’ll steal you all the malt vanilla ice cream from the dining hall.”
“I can do that my damn self-“
“And,” you give him one, small kiss and speak against his lips. “You can eat it in bed after we make out.”
You’ve won. Ben is swallowing and staring at you with dark eyes, and you can feel both the hunger and an indigence that he’s lost.
“Fine.” 
You kiss him again—soft with a smile so he knows you’re grateful—and lean back to grab your phone from across the table.
“First,” you squint at the list, reading from the top. “Are you a morning person, or night person?”
“We’re both fucking night people.” Ben frowns. “We were up until 4am last night, and the night before that.”
“Yeah, well,” you shrug. “It’s not a great question for two supes with chronic nightmares. What’s your favorite season?”
“Fall.”
You hum, nodding. “Me too. Favorite animal?”
“I don’t have one.”
You scoff. “Everyone has a favorite animal. Most people have like, two or three.”
“Well, I’m not a fucking toddler, so I don’t.” Ben glares at you. “And you don’t have a favorite color, so shut the fuck up.”
“I don’t have a favorite color, because I don’t want any of them to feel ugly.”
Ben snorts. “They’re fucking colors, not people. And some of them are ugly.”
“That’s mean, Ben.” Your voice is a mumble, because you know this is stupid. They are colors, but you still feel guilty choosing one. “All of them have something to contribute.”
Ben gives you a bored look. “Yellow.”
“Sunlight, ducklings, and yield signs.” You list each item off on a finger, giving Ben a proud grin when you finish. His mouth twitches, but it’s all you get before he pushes further.
“Orange,”
“Halloween and the grand canyon.”
“Gray.”
“Metaphors about morality.”
Ben narrows his eyes. “Blue.”
“We wouldn’t have green without blue, Pretty Boy.”
His grin becomes toothy and cocky, pulling you a little closer. “And why would you miss green, Sunshine?”
“Grass,” you keep your tone neutral, even as Ben starts to draw circles on your hips. “Trees. The ocean-“
“The ocean is fucking blue.”
“Nope,” you shrug. “It’s green. Sea green, Benjamin. Peace, love and sexuality-“
Ben scoffs. “You made that one up.”
“In the medieval period, it could represent love, as well as mans base desires. The snake in the garden of Eden was green, and lust is a sin.”
“Smartass,” Ben’s not even pretending to annoyed anymore. “What else is fucking good about green.” He squeezes the skin on your waist. "And desirable."
You sigh, about to push his shoulder and pretend you don’t have the faintest idea what he’s talking about, but Ben’s smiling. Really, fully smiling at you, and there’s nothing you won’t say for him if it makes this joy in his chest comfortable and aimed at you. “You.”
“Fucking right I am.” He winks at you, and you roll your eyes. 
“Stop stalling and tell me your favorite animal.”
He lets out a long sigh. “Lions.”
“Okay,” you reach up and run hand over the deep lines on his forehead. “Did that fucking kill you?”
“Yes.”
“Man-child.”
“Shut up. Are you going to tell me yours, or just fucking-“
“Swans.” You smile at him, and he grunts. “And snow leopards. What’s your favorite type of weather?”
“Are all of these damn things about favorites-“
“No.” You wrinkle your nose at him. “Answer the question.”
“You answer the fucking question. I keep going first-“
“I like it when it rains in the summer. Your turn.”
Ben scowls. “Rain in the summer as well.”
“Thank you.” You kiss the side of his mouth, and his hands tighten on your body.
“Shut the fuck up. Read the next one.”
“If you had a superpower-“ you cut yourself off, frowning at your phone. “Shit.”
“We both already fucking have superpowers.”
“Yeah, I figured that one out myself, Ben. Chocolate or vanilla.”
Ben’s stare at you is bored, and you shove his arm. 
“Fuck you.”
“I didn’t say a damn thing-“
“Shut it. What decade would you have lived-“ You sigh, and Ben snorts.
“I told you this was fucking stupid.”
“I told you to shut it. What element are you?”
Ben drawls your name, and you glare at him. “You’re a damn fire supe-“
“Yeah, we know what I am. What are you.”
Ben frowns. “What do you think I am.”
“Earth.” Your answer is immediate, and almost involuntary. But Ben is Earth. He’s everything and big and strong and permanent and earth. “You’re earth, Ben.”
He nods slowly. “Fine. You get one more.”
You scan over the list. Three things in a burning building is a no, because Ben will just say he doesn’t give a fuck. You know all his favorite shows and movies, because you introduced him to them. His favorite sport is baseball, and it’s yours as well because it’s funny to watch Ben yell at the TV about balls.
You settle on a question that you know your answer to, and desperately want to hear Ben’s.
“If time and money weren’t an issue, how would you spend your life?” 
Ben blinks at you. “What the fuck does that mean.”
“Like, if you didn’t have a job to do, and that was fine because there were not jobs to do, what would you do with your time?” Ben keeps looking at you like you’ve grown another head, and you sigh. “I would sing and write poetry.”
“Why.”
“Because I would have fun doing it,” you shrug. “I’d be singing for me, and it wouldn’t matter if my poetry was Shakespeare or complete fucking dogshit. I could just do it to do it. What would you do.”
“I don’t know how to fucking write-"
“It doesn’t have to be writing, Ben.” You pull his head down, scanning his face. “It can be anything. It could be acting, or cooking, or traveling the world. It could even just be watching tv-“
“That one.”
You blink at him. “TV?”
He nods. “You would watch it with me, and make dinner, and I’d clean up. Then we’d go to bed, and I’d fuck you, and we’d fall asleep.”
You frown. “That’s just what we’re doing now, sans fucking.”
“No.” Ben grunts. “In my answer, it’s just us. No missions or Homelander or Pussy Brigade. Just me and you, fucking and watching TV.”
“Oh,” you feel your face flush, and wish Ben would stop looking at you like that—with pure focus and sincerity—because now you’re both touched emotionally and incredibly horny, and it’s confusing. “Okay.”
“Okay.”
You smile at him. “I mean, I can get on board with that.”
When Ben kisses you it’s easy. This is so easy. Sitting on his lap, talking about things that don’t matter with his body warm around you and his hold on your hips strong but gentle. Feeling Ben’s deep voice rolling through your chest when he speaks. Words hummed against your lips, something unbreakable and content and powerful and hungry pounding against his ribs.
“Good.”
End Note: One day I will write a one-shot that's not based in Chapter 14. Today is not that day.
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sofs16 · 11 months ago
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𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊 𝐌𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐀𝐆𝐀𝐈𝐍 𐙚˙˖
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in which, yn is helplessly in love with charles since their younger days but he has no idea till she’s gone to a different country.
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𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒°⋆。 ˚ titled by their song
001 lacy
002.heather
003. cindy lou who
004. i miss you i’m sorry
005. right where you left me
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𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐊 ♫
let you break my heart again — laufey
lacy — olivia rodrigo
heather — conan gray
cindy lou who — sabrina carpenter
i miss you, i’m sorry — gracie abrams
right where you left me — mother taylor swift
mr. perfectly fine — mother taylor swift
i know it won’t work — gracie abrams
we can’t be friends — ariana grande
risk — gracie abrams
from the start — laufey
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𝐓𝐀𝐆 𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓,
@1655clean @uuzhanggggggg @cmleitora @annie115 @valntynebaby @mrosales16 @d3kstar @stopeatread @chimchimjiminie16 @viennakarma @peqch-pie @scaramou @daniellarogers @milialurralde
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omegalomania · 11 months ago
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so im sure everyones fully well aware of the magic 8 ball site fob is using to promote a contest to win some tickets to see them in nashville. the little 8ball widget theyve got in browser is also modeled on the physical 8ball that they had in the vip merch packages for tourdust's first leg, which is cool! but of particular note is the way that, to fill out the contest form, you have to pick your favorite fall out boy songs. and the sheer breadth of what is allowed is...interesting? it's not cohesive by any means, but it is really wild the selection of songs they have here because not all of them are fob songs. in fact, quite a few of them aren't.
i went directly to the source code and got a full list of all possible songs that you could input (which you can check for yourself by right-clicking and selecting "view source"). i'm going to list them here for archival purposes, with a few notes/explanations cause some of these are WILD.
there are 187 songs total listed.
bolded songs indicate songs that are demos or never received an official release
italicized songs are songs by other bands
underlined songs indicate songs that are covers
songs with an asterisk beside them (*) indicate they are from patrick's solo catalogue. two asterisks (**) are for pete's.
additional commentary by me will be [in brackets]
20 Dollar Nose Bleed 27 7 Minutes in Heaven (Atavan Halen) 7-9 Legendary A Little Less Sixteen Candles, a Little More "Touch Me" A Nice Myth [one of the earliest fall out boy demos, found on their first ep, and only the casette version at that] Allie* Alone Together Alpha Dog America's Suitehearts American Beauty/American Psycho (song) American Made Art of Keeping Up Disappearances As Long as I Know I'm Getting Paid* Austin, We Have a Problem Baby Annihilation Bad Side of 25* Bang the Doldrums Beat It Big Hype* Bishops Knife Trick Bob Dylan Bounce [this is a song that came out on then-Decaydance labelmates The Cab's debut record, Whisper War, which patrick produced. he has writing credit and also is credited with background vocals (and also shows up in the music video)] Caffeine Cold Calm Before the Storm Centuries Champagne for My Real Friends, Real Pain for My Sham Friends Champion Check Your Phone** Chicago is So Two Years Ago Church City in a Garden Coast (It's Gonna Get Better)* Coffee's for Closers Cryptozoology* Cute Girls* Cyanide** [this is a nothing,nowhere song that pete did some spoken word parts and backing vocals on] Dance Miserable* Dance, Dance Dead on Arrival Dear Future Self (Hands Up) Death Valley Deep Blue Love* [song patrick did for the indie short film "spell"] Demigods Disloyal Order of Water Buffaloes Don't You Know Who I Think I Am? Electric Touch [the (in?)famous taylor swift song patrick featured on] Eternal Summer Everybody Wants Somebody* Explode* Fake Out Fame Less than Infamy Favorite Record Fellowship of the Nerd [this is an alternate title for world's not waiting, as far as i can tell] Flu Game Flu Game [yes flu game is listed twice for some reason] Footprints in the Snow [demo from the Llamania ep] Fourth of July From Now on We Are Enemies G.I.N.A.S.F.S. Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying (Do Your Part to Save the Scene and Stop Going to Shows) Ghostbusters (I'm Not Afraid) Golden Grand Theft Autumn/Where Is Your Boy Greed* Grenade Jumper Grow Up and Be Kids [this song is on The Cab's sophomore album Symphony Soldier, which release after they left decaydance. nonetheless, pete does have some writing credits on it. give it a listen and you'll hear for yourself in the first 10 seconds or so] Growing Up Hand Crushed by a Mallet [this is a remix of the 100gecs song of the same name; patrick did some vocals for it] Hand of God Have I Got a Gift for You* [song patrick did for the horror movie black friday] Headfirst Slide into Cooperstown on a Bad Bet Heartbreak Feels So Good Heaven's Gate Heaven, Iowa Hold Me Like a Grudge Hold Me Tight or Don't Homesick at Space Camp Honorable Mention Hot to the Touch, Cold on the Inside Hum Hallelujah I Am My Own Muse I Don't Care
I Got Nothing, But You Got Something [this is the one that really perplexes me. there's no evidence of this song actually existing, other than an unverified genius post and an article on a single fandom wiki. it is inexplicably listed here despite its very existence being questionable at best.]
I Slept with Someone in Fall Out Boy and All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Who Loves Me) I'm Like a Lawyer with the Way I'm Always Trying to Get You Off (Me & You) I've Been Waiting [this is technically a lil peep song with fall out boy as a feature] I've Got a Dark Alley and a Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth (Summer Song) I've Got All This Ringing in My Ears and None on My Fingers Immortals Irresistible It's Hard to Say 'I Do', When I Don't It's Not a Side Effect of the Cocaine, I Am Thinking It Must Be Love Jet Pack Blues Just One Yesterday Lake Effect Kid (song) Lake Shore Drive [this is a song patrick covered on the piano at wrigley, first night of tourdust] Love from the Other Side Love Will Tear Us Apart Love, Selfish Love* Love, Sex, Death Lullabye Mad at Nothing* Miss Missing You Moving Pictures My Heart Is the Worst Kind of Weapon My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark (Light Em Up) New Dreams [this is a bonus track on pax am days, a naked rayguns cover] Nobody Puts Baby in the Corner Novocaine Of All the Gin Joints in All the World One of Those Nights [another song from the cab's whisper war. this one has patrick doing vocals very prominently] Open Happiness [this was a huge collaborative piece done for a coca cola commercial. patrick was on it along with big names like cee lo green, janelle monae, and labelmates travie mccoy and brendon urie] Our Lawyer Made Us Change the Name of This Song So We Wouldn't Get Sued Parker Lewis Can't Lose (But I'm Gonna Give It My Best Shot) Past Life [llamania ep] Pavlove People Never Done a Good Thing* Porcelain* Pretty in Punk Rat a Tat Reinventing the Wheel to Run Myself Over Roxanne Run Dry (X Heart X Fingers)* San Diego [this is a blink-182 song that patrick did some writing for] Saturday Saturday Night Again* Save Rock and Roll (song) Sending Postcards from a Plane Crash (Wish You Were Here) She's My Winona Short, Fast, and Loud Snitches and Talkers Get Stitches and Walkers So Good Right Now So Much (For) Stardust (song) So Sick [this is a song patrick has exclusively covered live, so it's a fascinating inclusion] Sober [another blink-182 song patrick did some writing for] Sophomore Slump or Comeback of the Year Star 67 Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea Sugar, We're Goin Down Summer Days (song) [this is a martin garrix song patrick lent some vocals to] Sunshine Riptide Super Fade Switchblades and Infidelity Tell That Mick He Just Made My List of Things to Do Today The "I" In Lie* The (After) Life of the Party The (Shipped) Gold Standard The Carpal Tunnel of Love The Kids Aren't Alright The Kintsugi Kid (Ten Years) The Last of the Real Ones The Mighty Fall The Music or the Misery The Patron Saint of Liars and Fakes The Phoenix The Pink Seashell The Pros and Cons of Breathing The Take Over, the Breaks Over The World's Not Waiting (For Five Tired Boys in a Broken Down Van) This Ain't a Scene, It's an Arms Race This City* Thnks fr th Mmrs (song) [for some reason the site specifies song here, despite that not being necessary. the only other times this distinction is relevant is when songs share a title with their albums, i.e. save rock and roll] Thriller Tiffany Blews Twin Skeleton's (Hotel in NYC) Uma Thurman Untitled 1 (Colorado Song) Untitled 2 (Jakus Song) [both of these are recently released tttyg era demos] W.A.M.S. We Didn't Start the Fire We Don’t Take Hits, We Write Them [this is a song that famously was only ever performed live. we don't have a studio recording or even a demo, as only live versions exist] We Were Doomed from the Start (The King is Dead) West Coast Smoker What a Catch, Donnie What a Time To Be Alive What's This? When I Made You Cry* Where Did the Party Go Wilson (Expensive Mistakes) Wrong Side of Paradise [llamania ep] XO You're Crashing, But You're No Wave Young and Menace Young Volcanoes Yule Shoot Your Eye Out
in conclusion i have no idea who compiled this list. it doesn't include every song patrick and pete have ever touched (notice the lack of gym class heroes, cobra starship, and hush sound discography) but it has a really weird selection of songs. i mean, blink songs patrick wrote on?? its bizarre.
anyway do you think if we mass request swing me by the rafters they'll have to do it
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snghnlvr · 4 months ago
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delicate | nishimura riki
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౨ৎ ## love so delicate like yours, synopsis: you've realized how far you've gotten with your boyfriend now that both of you are adults.
includes: 1.9k words | soft fluff | yn is anxious asf but riki comforts them | we love reassurance | movie notebook reference 😎 | yn got a tattoo and it makes riki fall in love with them more 🙆‍♀️🙆‍♀️ | coming of age¿?
extra: at this point, all of the members are taylor swift coded | soft love is the best love | yn is me because im also 18 and i dont wanna pay taxes D:
likes, reblogs, and comments are appreciated! <3
[below the cut]
you sighed as you laid yourself flat against the blankets. you smiled in delight as if your troubles and worries left you. 
“school’s over.” you said, feeling your chest heavy. you recalled the school memories that you’ve experienced; both happy and sad, now that you’re taking the next chapter of your life; college. 
it’s leaving a bittersweet feeling on your whole body. 
“it is.” you looked over your shoulder, to see your boyfriend, riki fiddling with his yearbook. his fingers spotted towards the back of the book, heartfelt messages and inspiring words that his friends wrote for him. 
you’re in riki’s backyard, inside of a treehouse both of you built since children with the help of your parents. you’re so lucky your dad is a constructor. 
riki is sitting, one leg sticking out and one knee bent as he leans into the wooden walls. this position allows you to admire him from below as the sunlight flashes on his beautiful features. 
he’s reading every single message with sincerity and care, from his senior friends that he will probably never see again and his younger juniors that he can’t annoy anymore as he pleases. despite hating waking up early every morning and him dealing with tiring lectures, he has to admit he made memories and friends that’s worth a life time.
“i can’t believe we’re gonna be college students now. where we have to pay off debts, start our career paths, those people who are gonna be closer to 20 than 16 - it’s just,” you took in a breath. “surreal. surreal that we are growing up.”
you had always had a fear of growing up. not wanting to achieve the things and goals you’ve planned on time. you felt like you’re rushing to do everything at once before it becomes too late. you always wanna stay 16 forever; forever naive to understand the real world. how you’re closest friends will separate from you. how everything you’re experiencing right now will be just a memory. 
riki glanced down on you where you’re staring off of space. he can sense the anxiety in your tone. 
he closes the book after he was staring at a picture. a picture titled, “best couple” and it’s a picture of the both of you standing next to each other, smiling widely. he smiled at how adorable you looked next to him.
he scooted closer to you, making himself comfortable once he lays down next to you. his back lays flat, mimicking your position. 
“are you scared?” riki likes to question the obvious, but it helps you reflect on your feelings; how fear is just a feeling and to understand your emotions a bit better.
“just a little anxious just all,” you confessed, looking at riki whose eyes never left yours. “i’m sure it will disappear soon. i mean, everyone experiences this.” you reassure yourself and riki sense it, enjoying your honesty.
“mhm,” riki mumbles. “it’s okay to feel anxious, the future is scary.” he looks down. “it’s only a matter of time how you’re gonna handle it. you create your own future.” 
his words ring in your head. he’s right.
riki took your silence as a way that you agree with him. 
he then glanced down towards your arm, a black-inked drawing that attracted him. riki scooted closer, his body turned to yours. he propped himself up with his elbow.
no matter how close the proximity is between the both of you, it still makes you nervous til this day. especially with how much older and mature-looking your boyfriend of 6 years is. 
“your parents aren’t mad about this?” riki gently poked on your arm, eyes analyzing the art in your arm. it’s only been a week since you decided to get your first tattoo.
it’s beautiful, he thinks. 
“not anymore, i’m 18 now.” you huffed out. you remembered the horror on your parents’ faces but a sigh of defeat when they realized you’re now responsible of yourself. it makes you chuckle about their panicked expressions, slowly making themselves aware that you’re not gonna be their little 4 year old reckless daughter anymore. 
“i can imagine your mom shrieking.” riki giggled which made you scoffed because he wasn’t wrong. 
“your birth flower?” riki asked, his fingertips gently tracing the traces of your birth flower. 
your eyes widened a bit at his sudden touch then you looked down at how focused riki was. his eyes were staring at it as if your tattoo was a museum. 
your heart beat quickened at the sight. 
“the flower that i drew for you in your math notebook in 6th grade.” riki smiled, realizing how much time flies since you guys called it official since middle school. you’ve remembered the nervousness riki’s hands were, fiddling the bouquet of origami flowers. flowers he made for each that day that he fell in love with you. you thought it was silly. riki has always been caring and kind to you so it was natural for you to reprociate the feelings back. and so, without any pressure or doubts, you guys called it official.
“i thought you threw your old notebooks away..” his voice still remains soft and delicate, still smiling at your tattoo. he started to reminisce the times he would doodle on your notebook without you noticing. like a surprise.
“i ripped the page and kept it since.” when you were going into your freshman self, you looked back into the notebooks to reminsince your middle school memories. you’ve came across a drawing — no other than riki’s in one of your notebooks. you ripped it out and hid it in a safe spot until you get a tattoo of it ever since.  
some people thought you guys weren’t gonna make it past middle school — even you too, but since both of you got in the same highschool, it remained strong. a strong string holding your relationship tight.
yes, with hormones acting up and puberty getting in the way, there were times where you guys had fought and argued together to the point it was nearing breaking apart but both of you shouldn’t let it slide. not when it has reached this far. and how much you love each other.
although your boyfriend has grown up, there are occasionally times where he teases you and becomes childish around you, it makes you soft-hearted at how he still has a soul of his 12-year old self. especially moments where he look similar to a duck, which made you think about how much duck plushies you have on your bed because it reminds you of riki. 
you’re happy that you’re growing up with him.
“what are you thinking about pretty girl?” 
you gasped lightly, realizing that you’re spacing out. you looked at him and you see a small smirk implemented on his face, curious of what your pretty head is thinking about.
your face relaxes, trying to calm yourself. you’re nervous over nothing.
you looked down at your hands, then glance at riki’s hand comfortably resting, then back to your hands. your fingers slowly creep upon riki’s fingers, slowly rubbing them with yours. you smiled at the sight.
“it’s insane to think about how much we’ve grown.” you paused. “together.”
riki’s eyes looked at the sight, his heart beat echoing and growing louder. no matter what you do, you always make him think irrational. he then glances at you smiling when you’re playing with his fingers. “not many people believed in us lasting this long, not even me. i was worried if one of us lost feelings, found someone else better, or get something in our way, but im glad that we didn’t give up.” you looked at riki where his attention was diverted to you. he raised an eyebrow to indicate that he was listening.
“i’m happy that i’m dating you, i can’t express how much i adore you, how much you mean to me, i’ve never felt love this strong before — you’re just everything to me. i can’t imagine laughing harder than with anyone else, smile so much with anyone else. with you, it’s different. thank you for loving me.” 
you’re cringing on the inside at how much you confessed in such a short amount of time. you’re met with silence from your boyfriend who seem atonished from your words. you’re embarrassed, pulling back your fingers to cover your blushing cheeks in front of your boyfriend.
riki’s lips twitched, happy for you to express your feelings more comfortably now compared to the past situations. (one of the reasons that you’ve guys argued before) his chest felt light, his grin becoming bigger when you’re hiding from him.
you hear the blankets rustling, you felt riki’s arm slowly snake around your wrist to lightly remove your hand from your face. you removed your embarrassed hands and your eyes followed his hand clasping onto yours. the sight of his veiny hands makes you silent.
you admire the two of you holding hands. your stomach was feeling butterflies just as it was the first time riki confessed his feelings to you. riki twists your wrist, allowing you to see the sight from all angles. it looks so perfect. your hand perfectly structured to hold his. 
“you’re just as perfect as to what i am seeing right now.” riki spoke with a soft tone, chuckling when he kept twisting and turning your wrist. “you have a place in my heart no one else could ever have. my heart is so full of you i can hardly call it my own. i choose you. and i’ll choose you over and over. without a pause, without a doubt, in a heartbeat, i’ll keep choosing you. as long as i’m alive, you will always be loved.”
you’re speechless at your boyfriend’s words to the point you feel like crying. riki still kept smiling at you, giggling. you saw the crescents formed in his eyes whenever he smiled at you and it never fails to make yourself love him more.
riki took this opportunity to lift himself up, hovering above you. he pecked your forehead. you felt his warm lips touching your skin and the goosebumps always forms whenever he makes you flustered.
you looked up at him, surprised. he looked down at you with his head tilted and a scrunched nose like a puppy, as if he was proud to do that.
nothing but an exchange of loud heart beats matching with one another and genuine giggles back and forth. 
riki then leaned in towards you. you closed your eyes at the expected action. his lips touching with yours. electricity flows when he rubs his fingers on your hands. it always make you feel all tingly on the inside. 
riki then pulls back, “cute.” he teases you, making your cheeks grow hotter. “shut up.” you rolled eyes, earning a little laugh from him.
riki still doesn’t let go of your intertwined hands as he returns to his original position where you’re laying flat on the ground, shoulder to shoulder. 
“so your summer plans?” riki asked casually. he lifted his head as his arm was under his head to act as support.
you then touched your bangs, realizing that you still have that caramel-like highlights since march. you were starting to get bored of it.
you pursed your lips. “maybe dye my hair next week back to black.” 
riki’s eyes shined. “match with me.” he spoke without thinking. you turned your head to him, realizing that his hair is black now. 
your boyfriend likes it alot when both of you match. 
“if you bleach it next month to some color then what?” you pointed out because sometimes your boyfriend makes impulsive decisions on his hair whenever he sees a cool hairstyles. you’re not angry whenever he does this because he’s good looking with whatever hair color he has.
“i won’t bleach it, i promise. i’ll follow you.” riki spoke and it makes you chuckle that he probably doesn’t realize the importance of his words. “red? blue? silver, i’ll do it for you.” you froze at his sudden deep voice erupting from him. your heart beat also freezes when his lips touches the location of your tattoo. you looked down and see his lips pushed forward. your heart flutters once again.
“you’re dumb.” you spoke, eyes softening at what you were hearing. 
gosh, you really love this man.
riki smiles against your skin, looking up and your heart twists at an umfamiliar sight. “i can be that.” he whispers like it was a promise.
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ldrfanatic · 10 months ago
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Theodore Nott "13"
Theo Nott; Taylor Swift; A cohesive mini-fic series following my favorite songs from every Taylor Swift album as follows;
synopsis - amidst the turmoil of your final years at hogwarts, you found your heart intertwined with theodore nott's. despite the darkness looming, your love for each other bloomed like a rare flower. but destiny, ever fickle, seemed determined to tear you apart.
chapters are based off of my favorite taylor swift songs from each album :)
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Series Title: "13"
chapter list
1 i just wanna know you better | "everything has changed" from the Red album
2 you might still have me | "should've said no" from the Fearless album
3 love made me crazy | "don't blame me" from the Reputation album
4 sitting in the corner i haunt | "right where you left me" bonus track from the Evermore
5 the night i nearly lost you | "the great war" from the Midnights album
6 i think your house is haunted | "seven" from the Folklore album
7 when the sun came up | "out of the woods" from the 1989 album
8 that's my whole world | "miss americana & the heartbreak prince" from the Lover album
9 kiss in cars and downtown bars | "cardigan" from the Folklore album
10 wherever you stray, i'll follow | "willow" from the Evermore album
11 if you'd say you'd rather love than fight | "story of us" from the Speak Now album
12 so casually cruel | "all too well" from the Red Taylor's Version album
13 i had the time of my life | "long live" from the Speak Now album
14 screw me up forever | "suburban legends" from the 1989 Taylor's Version album
15 golden | "daylight" from the Lover album
A/N - if you're gonna read this prepare to cry
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kitkat13001 · 9 days ago
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⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖࣪ 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚍𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖𝚜
i can see the end as it begins my one condition is say you’ll remember me standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset, babe red lips and rosy cheeks, say you’ll see me again even if it’s just in your wildest dreams 
>> tooru oikawa x reader
>> angst, friends to lovers, ambiguous (happy?) ending, fem-leaning reader (no pronouns, one use of the phrase ‘trophy wife’), title and lyrics from taylor swift’s song “wildest dreams”, dividers by @/anitalenia and @/saradika-graphics
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oikawa was more than your high school boyfriend. he was more to you than any cookie-cutter definition you could slap on him like a discount store sticker. 
for starters, you’d basically known him since elementary school. 
you still remember the first day of second grade, the chatterbox of a boy who sat on your right and the mellow kid in the godzilla t-shirt who sat on your left. 
the three of you have practically been inseparable since. 
you and iwa were admittedly the more rational of the trio, while oikawa was the lallygagging daydreamer wandering behind you two. 
that is, until you get to high school, and suddenly he’s the volleyball star dreamboat who’s got the whole school fawning over him. 
it felt like a dream when oikawa had asked you out. you’d figured that with his pick of anyone at seijoh, you wouldn’t be at the top of his list. 
you were wary at first, of course. you’re not stupid, and you’re far from naive. for years you had listened to your friends talk about their boyfriends and girlfriends as if they were really, truly soulmates. like their relationships were years rather than months long. you watched them celebrate anniversaries by the week. 
you knew that high school love wasn’t meant to last. but still, this never felt like cliche high school romance. 
tooru was your first everything. and you were careful, cautious to not let this infatuation consume and ruin you like you had seen happen to so many of your friends and their first loves. but it was so easy to love tooru, and to let him love you back. he knew you better than anyone, held the map to your mind and heart alike. your last years in school together were the best you ever had. 
your caution was all for naught, though, as most worries are. all the precautions you’d taken, the bubble wrap you’d encased your heart in useless in the end. 
you don’t know how it never came up before. of course, you’d thought about your plans after graduation. you knew what you wanted to do, where you wanted to go. but whenever you were with tooru, you didn’t give a damn about the future; all that mattered was here and now, just him beside you. 
that’s why it catches you so off-guard when he makes an offhanded remark about argentina when matsukawa asks about his post-graduate plans, like he had already made up his mind. 
mattsun smiles, making a joke and wishing him luck. he says the same to you, good luck with this one here, but you’re still reeling, unable to return his smile. 
tooru laughs before bidding him goodbye, steering you away with an arm around your shoulder. you follow, lost in your head.
“what was that?” you ask, when you’re finally able to form words again. you duck out from under his arm and he frowns. 
“what?”
“argentina?” 
he blinks. “argentina?”
“since when did we decide that we are off to argentina?” you demand, panic and volume rising in your voice. 
he looks half-surprised, and then nervous. 
“well i didn’t…i mean, i didn’t decide, i just thought—”
“didn’t you ever think to ask me?” you cut in. “what about what i want? doesn’t that matter to you?”
“of course it matters to me!” he exclaims, running a hand through his hair. “i just figured we’d figure something out, y’know?”
you’re both flushed, short of breath. but where there’s panic rising in tooru’s chest, you’re beginning to get angry. 
“like what, tooru? that i go with you and be your trophy wife? or we do long distance and never see each other?”
you take a step back, pressing your hands against your hot face, and release a breath to try and calm yourself. 
“tooru, i want to go to college,” you tell him, looking up at him with big eyes. 
“there’s plenty of colleges in argentina!”
“that’s not the point!” you burst, burying your face in your hands. “i just…why didn’t you ask me, tooru?”
“i…i don’t know,” he replies in a helpless whisper. “i want to keep playing volleyball. they scouted me, and it seemed like such a no-brainer, and i couldn’t pass it up, and i—”
your heart freezes to ice. “you already said yes?”
tooru’s eyes shrink to guilty pinpricks. it’s all the answer you need. 
you straighten, taking in a deep breath. you try to compose yourself, even though you feel utterly sick to your stomach. you will your eyes not to well up. 
“well, then i guess we’ll go our separate ways.”
the declaration hangs in the air for a moment, haunting and final.  
you’ve always been able to see past tooru’s facade, past the brave face he always puts on. he talks a big game, but he’s really quite fragile when it comes down to it. 
you see it in his face now, the way he’s practically gaping at you. he’s surprised. 
“you…what?” 
“i think we should go our separate ways, tooru. we obviously want different things, and i just don’t think we’ll be able to reach our goals if we stay together.”
you start to rethink everything as soon as the words leave your mouth, just because of the way he’s looking at you. a pit settles in your stomach as his big brown eyes bore into yours, the very picture of heartbreak. 
“you want to break up?”
“we knew this wasn’t going to last,” you reply quickly, resisting the tears pushing behind your eyes and trying desperately to swallow the lump in your throat. 
“i didn’t,” he whispers. “i didn’t know this wasn’t going to last.”
you clench your teeth and hang your head, a tear slipping down your cheek against your will. 
tooru hates seeing you cry. you hate when he sees you cry. that’s why you don’t hesitate to run into the safety of his arms when he opens them to you like you’re not breaking his heart. 
you feel guilty, traitorous as you burrow into the warmth of his strong torso. shame burns in your gut as the tears stream down your face. his arms are steady and strong around your body, hand warm as he cradles the back of your head.
“it’s okay,” he whispers, shushing you gently. “it’s okay. i love you. i thought i loved you enough for both of us, but it’s okay.”
“of course i love you!” you burst, lifting your head to look at him. you sniff, wiping your face as you disentangle yourself from his arms slowly. “i just…can’t follow you around for the entire rest of my life.”
tooru nods, arms fidgeting like he doesn’t know what to do with them when you’re not in them. 
“right. okay.”
you heave a sniffle, trying to compose yourself again. “when do you leave?”
“‘bout a month.”
“okay.” you inhale, exhale. “okay. well…i mean, until then..?”
“until then,” he agrees, offering you a half-hearted smile and his hand. of course, you take it. 
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you’ve been dreading today for a month. it feels like it’s been marked on your internal calendar in big, fat, red letters. in actuality, you couldn’t even write it in your planner because it hurt too much. 
you offered to accompany tooru to the airport. he told you he’d be fine, you didn’t need to, but you had insisted. it was the least you could do after shattering his heart. 
so here you are, walking him up to the gate. neither of you have said much on the way up here. to be honest, neither of you have said much since that day you decided to end it with tooru’s departure to argentina. 
“this is me,” he says, gesturing to the gate behind you. you can hear the fragility behind his voice, that quaver only you’d notice. 
“right,” you say quickly, wringing your hands awkwardly. “well, good luck.”
you almost flinch. three years dating, ten years friendship behind it, and all you can say is good luck. 
“thanks,” he replies, but you know he’s thinking the same thing you are. 
“i mean…” you sigh, but no words come to you. you shake your head, pulling him into a hug instead. 
he’s shocked at first, you can tell by the way he tenses up. but it takes only a second for him to melt into your embrace and then he’s hugging you tighter than he has in your life. 
there’s really nothing else to say after that. you both separate after a small eternity and try not to cry as he heads for the gate. 
he pauses just before he walks through, looking back at you. 
“there’s nothing i can do to change your mind?”
you shake your head, shrugging helplessly. “i would never ask you to give up your dreams for me, tooru. but i can’t sacrifice mine just for your sake either.”
he nods solemnly, releasing a long breath. you can hear the slightest waver in his voice when he speaks. 
“i guess this is it, then.”
“yeah,” you agree, hugging the sleeves of your sweater. sincerity and heartbreak bleed through your voice. “goodbye, tooru. i hope it’s everything you ever dreamed of.”
he smiles softly at you, hanging off every word. 
“don’t forget about me when you’re rich and famous,” you say with a watery laugh, wiping tears from your cheeks.
tooru stares back at you with the most lovesick expression you’ve ever seen, longing and caring and warm and haunting all at the same time. 
“i could never forget you for as long as i live. and one day when i am rich and famous, i’ll come back for you.”
“riches and fame won’t get me back, tooru.”
“no,” he agrees. “but maybe seeing that i’ll wait for you will.”
and with that, he’s disappearing through the boarding tunnel with his bags. and then he’s gone like you had just dreamed him up, five seconds later and already a distant memory. 
his words ring in your head the entire way home as you stare out the window. 
they replay all over again, years later, when your phone lights up with a photo you treasure every day, a name you hear every night in your dreams. 
“hi, tooru.”
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this got away from me. if this takes off and breaks ur hearts like it broke mine, i might consider a part two. oikawa is so special to me, pls you have no idea. he’s so 1989 coded too. i <3 soft angst. love and take care, - 𝚔𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚢
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buttercupjosh · 1 year ago
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Jump Then Fall (The 4 times everyone else thinks you’re Quinn’s romantic partner and the 1 time you actually are)
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(Gif credit to @gabelandeskog)
Word count: 5,045
Genres: strangers to friends to lovers
Warnings: none
A/N: I’ve had this specific idea in my mind for about 2 years but never wrote it out because I decided to write other things first and took certain things from this concept and kinda put it into my other stories but after Quinn was named captain in September 2023, I decided to write it out. (Speaking of my other stories, I did write a Quinn fic in 2022, which you should check out). The title and this story is based off of the song, Jump Then Fall by Taylor Swift. It’s set from this past week (October 7th-14th), with additional fictional elements added. (Yes, I decided to publish it on Quinn's birthday because why not?) It’s written with a female reader in mind because I’m a female of color but the reader doesn’t specifically have to be a POC or a woman and there’s little dialogue. As always, I’m open to any and all feedback, comments or questions; just put them in my inbox or dm me. Thank you so much in advance for reading, I appreciate it😌
(P.S. I have other stories (linked here) that I have written for other players as well if you want to check it out)
“I was enchanted to meet you” -Enchanted by Taylor Swift
Prologue
Losing in a fantasy sports league can come with many different types of punishment, whether it’s being forced to eat a pancake for every wrong player you picked or putting in extra money in the winning jackpot. Your punishment for losing in the fantasy sports league you participated in was wearing a very 2014 Tumblr-esque “lol ur not Quinn Hughes” shirt that your best friend got you as a gag gift for Christmas to a Canucks game. This punishment came at a convenient time when you already planned to be in Vancouver for a work conference. Accepting your fate, you proudly donned the cringey t-shirt at the game, and as expected, people did look at you weirdly. What you didn’t plan at all was that your game seats happened to be located next to where a group of some of the Canucks WAGs were sitting. Lenasia, Ethan Bear’s fiance, noticed your shirt and immediately began talking to you. You explained to her why you were wearing such a thing and that clicked an idea in her brain. Lenasia turned away, began talking again to the other WAGs she was with, and was also frantically texting someone. After a brief period, Lenasia faced back towards you and told you to wait after the game because she had a surprise for you. You had a slight inkling of what that surprise was but silently hoped that it didn’t actually come true. 
After the game was completed, Lenasia led you through the tunnels of Rogers Arena and told security that you were with her. It felt weird to hear her say that, considering that you just met her a few hours ago. You stood together outside of the Canucks locker room and the feeling of embarrassment continued to rise within you as the guys filed out, some of them laughed at your shirt and then, you saw him. Quinn was right there, less than 10 feet away from you. Your suspicions were right; you would have just settled for a signed item from him and have no interaction with him but you were actually going to meet him right now. You felt like you were going to pass out but tried your best to maintain your composure. Lenasia introduced you to Quinn and told him the same story of why you were wearing a shirt with his name on it. Quinn didn’t fully quite understand why the shirt was such a big deal but agreed to take the photo with you. He was nice enough to wrap his arm around you with a side hug and being that close together oddly felt natural and comfortable for two people who had just met for the first time. After the photo was finished being taken, Quinn kindly offered to sign your shirt so he inked his signature on your right shoulder. You thanked Quinn and Lenasia again for everything and left to return to your hotel. It was a lot to process but you were rightfully shocked that you started your night fulfilling some silly punishment and ended it by meeting the person whose name is on your shirt.
The following day, you sent the photo of you and Quinn from the night before to your friends and your friends joked in the groupchat that if you played your cards right, you might be next in line to date him. Yes, you posted about it on Instagram and tagged Quinn so everyone knew you actually met him. Since the day after you met was an off day, Quinn had some time to scroll through Instagram and he saw your post. Seeing your post led him to see all of your posts and eventually, he ended up in your DMs.
Do you always look that cute wearing someone’s name?, an Instagram message from a very familiar verified account read. You couldn’t believe it and thought you were somehow dreaming when you read Quinn’s message but it was very much real. You replied back: I guess I always do but I only wear the names of attractive guys and considering this is my only piece that has an athlete’s name, I guess you should consider yourself lucky ;) It felt odd to shamelessly flirt with a famous athlete (considering that most of them wouldn’t give you the time of day anyway) but it wasn’t like you were actually going to date him or be his friend anyway (or so you had thought).
The flirty interaction eventually led to the exchange of numbers and to a long message chain between the two of you that would extend on for months. You did return home from your trip to Vancouver and maintained a long-distance friendship with Quinn. Your friendship with Quinn was great; you trusted each other, shared some secrets, did virtual movie nights together sometimes, sent memes back and forth, told some of your closest friends and family about the other, and communicated on the phone constantly. Once of your favorite things to do with Quinn was that he would always call you during your morning commute to work and on his commute home after his games to decompress after the game. Since you didn’t live in an area where there was an NHL team, your options for seeing Quinn again in person were limited and you weren’t sure if you were going to ever see him again. It felt weird to ask about seeing each other in real life so everything was just kept online until one day, the timing was right to move things offline.
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About a year into your friendship, the right opportunity opened up for you to return to Vancouver to see Quinn again. To the delight of many, Quinn was named Captain of the Canucks and he invited you out to his first game as Captain. You were important enough to him that Quinn wanted you to be there to celebrate that amazing accomplishment; you were surprised by the invitation but excited at the prospect of seeing him again. You used some of your remaining vacation time and paid for your plane ticket to and from Vancouver; Quinn wanted to pay for something so he placed you to stay in the nicest hotel that Vancouver has to offer. You were thrilled to spend a week in Vancouver and hopefully make some fun memories with Quinn while you were there.
Your anticipation for seeing him was slightly halted when Quinn revealed that he couldn’t pick you up from the airport because your flight arrived at the same time that he had captain responsibilities to fulfill in the community so you and Quinn agreed to meet to have dinner later on that evening. Emma, Anthony Beauvillier’s girlfriend, picked you up from the airport to take you to the hotel; you had never met or interacted with Emma before but you appreciated her kind favor. The drive from Vancouver International Airport to the hotel (which Quinn did not tell you beforehand because he wanted it to be a surprise) was normally a 30-minute drive, which turned into an hour drive due to traffic. While you and Emma waited in the rush hour traffic, you talked and learned more about her, her relationship with Anthony, what things are like in Quebec, and what it’s like to be a hockey WAG. Emma had a lot of questions about your relationship with Quinn and was curious as to why you, his romantic partner, weren’t around as much before. You corrected Emma by telling her that you and Quinn were just friends and nothing more and you came to support him as your friend. 
“Are you sure you and Quinn are just friends because he must really like you a lot to pay for you to stay here?”, Emma asked as you pulled up to the Fairmount Waterfront hotel.
You replied yes, you were just his friend and she handed you over your room keys that were passed to her through the chain of command. You thanked Emma for giving you a ride and you both mentioned wanting to hang out with each other again.
Quinn was not kidding when he told you that you would be staying at the best hotel in Vancouver; your room had spectacular views of the Vancouver Harbor and was very fancy. As you got ready for your dinner with Quinn, you began to reflect on your conversation with Emma about him. You could admit that he was endearingly handsome and had qualities that you were looking for in a boyfriend but you and Quinn never really discussed romantic pursuits and outside of that initial flirty exchange when you first started talking to each other and the occasional compliment, there wasn’t much flirting really going on between you. You had always assumed that Quinn had someone, whether it was someone in Vancouver or in Michigan, waiting in the wings for him. Your thoughts were interrupted when you got a text from Quinn that he was coming up to the room. It was happening; for the first time in over a year, you got to see your internet best friend in person and you were ecstatic. Although he had a copy of the hotel room key, Quinn knocked on your hotel room door and a smile beamed across both of your faces as you recognized who was standing at the doorway. Quinn engulfed you in a long-awaited hug and you rocked back and forth. There were many areas in his life that made him feel delighted but hearing you laugh was one of the best sounds to him and holding you in his arms was the greatest feeling.
After separating, you realized that Quinn was dressed for a night in while you were dressed for a night out. The weather app indicated that a storm was rolling in so Quinn dressed to stay in at the hotel, order food, and have a movie night, while you were willing to brave the rain to try some of Vancouver’s cuisine. Quinn thought that you looked nice and wished that he communicated to you that Vancouver storms were no joke and you looking cute in your rain jacket wasn’t going to push him to go out in such weather either. He also really wanted to spend time with you without the distractions that come from him going out in public. You agreed to order in and changed into more comfy clothes while you waited for the food to arrive. Preseason hockey was over so Quinn decided to treat himself (and you) to some authentic Chinese food from his favorite place. As you and Quinn indulged on the delicious Chinese food, you began catching up with each other on what had occurred in your lives recently. As Quinn shared what had been going on his life lately, you heard all of the words he was saying but the only thing you were thinking about was how you just wanted to be together and you would lose focus sometimes as he spoke. You and Quinn kept talking so much on so many different topics that it was almost midnight before you decided to watch a movie. You settled on watching Ferris Buller’s Day Off before drifting off to sleep.
————————————————————
For Quinn, it felt surreal to wake up the following morning next to you. After being in contact with you for over a year, here you were, right there, sleeping peacefully on the other side of the bed. Throughout the night, Quinn was respectful of your boundaries and no lines were crossed, everything was kept PG. You were awoken by the sound of water running coming from the bathroom and waited for Quinn to emerge out. After he came out of the bathroom, you discussed the day’s plan (which there wasn’t really one) and decided to go to breakfast at a very special place. Quinn still had some time off before the first game of the season so you had even more extra time to spend with him.
On the car ride to the restaurant, you began to imagine what it would be like to live in Vancouver. Sure, this wasn’t your first time there but you saw it in a different light as you were gazing outside of the car window with Quinn by your side. You arrived at your destination and Quinn got out and kindly came around to open the door for you; it was a sweet gesture that he didn’t have to do.
The restaurant was the same cafe that Quinn and Petey tended to frequent and the wait staff at the restaurant was so familiar with him, down to the point that they knew his exact order: plain buttermilk waffles topped with whipped cream, strawberries, raspberries, and sides of bacon, potatoes, and guacamole. The waitress, an older woman named Louise, reminded you of an endearing grandmother figure; she even put your meal on the house as a treat. After the meal concluded and you were on the way back to Quinn’s car, a fan was waiting right outside of the restaurant for an opportunity to meet the captain of their favorite team. The fan approached you, Quinn’s romantic partner, to take their photo together. You wanted to correct the fan for being wrong but you also could tell that Quinn wanted to get going so you let it be; besides, Quinn didn’t even hear the fan address you as his lover. Quinn later on apologized for the fan encounter but it wasn’t an issue for you, you understood who he was and the things that came with being a famous athlete and you expected something like that might happen while you were together. You continued on the rest of your spontaneous day, being touristy around Vancouver, visiting Gastown, Stanley Park, and Granville Island with the cutest tour guide.
————————————————————
Your time in Vancouver coincided with Canadian Thanksgiving. Dinner is usually held at the team captain’s house and since Quinn is the captain, dinner would be held at his place but since his apartment couldn’t quite hold the entire team, Tyler Myers offered to host dinner at his home. It was exciting to celebrate a holiday together and learn more about each other’s Thanksgiving traditions but it also made you feel a little nervous because you would be meeting more of Quinn’s teammates and spending time with their families. The Canucks team’s Thanksgiving dinner was potluck style and everyone had to bring something so you and Quinn offered to bring a dessert. You decided to make pumpkin chocolate chip cookies and Quinn graciously purchased the ingredients for you and let you use his kitchen. Quinn was a good sous chef; he actually enjoyed baking with you and you both had fun together. You even got into a little squabble over who would wash the dishes before agreeing that you would wash them and Quinn would dry them. After the cookies were done, you both got ready for dinner. 
On the car ride over to the Myers house, your mind began to wander, contemplating about the domestic moment you shared earlier with Quinn and how you would want more moments like that with him. Quinn felt the same way but wasn’t sure how to verbally tell you that. Before you knew it, you had arrived at your destination. You casually mixed and mingled with the other Canucks players and their families; as expected, some of the players had kids and the kids were curious to know who you were and you explained to them that you were Quinn’s friend. Tristan, Tyler’s son, asked if you were Quinn’s lover friend and you were going to tell him no but you were interrupted by the message that dinner was about to be served so you let it go.
Despite your initial nervousness about the event, dinner actually went well and your cookies were a hit. The other Canucks players and their wives and girlfriends accepted you well into their group; they liked you for you and they liked you with Quinn. Due to the fact he’s their captain, some of the guys pushed Quinn into giving a speech and he expressed his thankfulness and gratitude on such a special holiday; he even looked at you when he mentioned how glad he was to have the people in the room as a part of his life.
During the post-dinner relaxation time, you and Quinn settled into watching the CFL game that was on before Tristan came up to ask the both of you to play hide and seek with him and his sister, Skylar. The football game wasn’t that interesting to either of you so you both agreed to play. Since you were the guest, the kids had you count first. 
As you were looking to see where Quinn and the kids were hiding, you observed around the Myers home and began to think about how this was something that you had desired to have one day; a home full of love, laughter, and children. You checked the guest room closet to see if anyone was hiding in there before greeting Quinn by shouting BOO as soon as you opened the door. Instead of stepping out to help you find Skylar and Tristan, Quinn pulled you back into the closet and shut the door for a quiet moment alone. Quinn’s heart was beating super fast, not just because you inflicted fear into him for a brief second, but also because you were close to each other inside the dark closet. You obviously couldn’t see in the darkness but Quinn kept staring at the presumed outline of your mouth because he wanted pull you closer and kiss you so bad. Quinn almost had his chance to ask but was interrupted by the sound of children’s feet pattering on the ground and the door opening. Tristan quickly corrected you that as the counter, you were not allowed to hide until it was your turn to hide. An all-too-familiar chuckle came out of Quinn and you rolled your eyes at him since he was the one who caused you to break the rules before playing another round of hide and seek with the kids.
When it was time to say goodbye, Tristan and Skylar came over to give you a departing hug and Tristan loudly said that he had fun with you, Quinn’s special friend. It warmed your heart to hear his little voice say that to you. Before dropping you off back at the hotel, you had asked Quinn if he was going to stop and get his annual Thanksgiving apple pie slice from the bakery. He had mentioned his Thanksgiving tradition to you only once but it meant a lot to him that you had remembered that. Due to the fact that you made dessert from scratch, Quinn forgot to pick up the pie beforehand to bring to the party and the bakery with the pie that he enjoyed was already closed, but it was okay. Quinn didn’t mind skipping his tradition because he got to make a new memory with you. You and Quinn had such a good time at the Thanksgiving dinner and you had quietly hoped to get the opportunity to spend more holidays together.
————————————————————
The Canucks home opener was finally here. It was both exciting and nerve-wracking for Quinn; he knew that this day was coming but it felt a little more surreal that it was actually here. Quinn’s parents, Ellen and Jim, even flew in to watch their son receive his official captaincy before jetting off to go watch Jack and Luke at the Devils home opener the following day. You felt a bit of deja vu being back at Rogers Arena, since that was the place you and Quinn had met over a year ago, but that deja vu feeling came in a good way. It was fun to watch warmups with the other WAGs and you got to see Emma again. As warmups went on, you held J.T. Miller’s son, Owen, in your arms while Natalie Miller held her daughters, Scarlett and Scottlyn, closer to the glass to give them a better view to see their father on the ice. Since the day was very busy for Quinn, the only time he got to see you was for a brief second during warmups. Quinn’s heart swelled up with joy when he saw you at the glass, holding baby Owen and he also thought you looked so stunning and beautiful in your outfit. He wanted to pass you a puck but instead, he gave you a quick wink and passed a puck to a young fan with a sign and continued to skate around. 
Warmups were over and the game was about to start soon so you went up to your seats. Instead of having you sit with the other WAGs, Quinn got you a ticket next to his parents. Of course, Quinn wanted you to meet his parents for the first time in a much more formal way but due to the limited time that you all had in Vancouver, it was slightly more convenient for you to meet his parents while at the game. It was a little awkward at first to meet Quinn’s parents because you were just Quinn’s long-distance friend and meeting the parents is a big deal but Jim and Ellen already knew who you were because you were important enough to their son that he had told them about you. Ellen mentioned to you that she suspected you were dating Quinn because he spoke so highly about you, indicating a possible crush but always shut it down by mentioning that you were just friends.
When it was time for Quinn to be introduced as captain, you got delightful goosebumps on your body because you were so proud of him. You already knew he was captain but watching some of the old Canucks captains pass the torch over to one of your best friend’s brought a rush of happiness to you; your heart even skipped a beat as he put on the jersey with the “C” on it. The game itself was amazing; the Canucks beat the Oilers 8 to 1 and Quinn had a 3-point night. Throughout little moments during the game, Jim and Ellen would ask you different questions about yourself and share tidbits about Quinn; it was nice that they were actively engaging and getting to know you. You were worried that Jim and Ellen wouldn’t like you as a person and for their son but it turns out that they enjoyed your presence and it also didn’t hurt that it was really fun to cheer for Quinn alongside his parents.
After the game was over, you, Jim, and Ellen walked down the same tunnels to the Canucks dressing room that you had walked to over a year ago when you met Quinn for the first time but this time, you weren’t as nervous to see him. Still experiencing the high from the evening’s successful game, Quinn was so ecstatic to see you, waiting for him with his beloved parents. When Quinn had invited you to come to his game, he had imagined seeing you again in those familiar halls with his parents in his mind and that moment of imagination came true. In his post-game interview, Quinn had mentioned that he would hold onto the night’s memories forever and you would also hold onto those memories in your own way too.
————————————————————
Since the Canucks had to leave for a roadtrip after their home opener and you were leaving soon, you had one last day to both celebrate Quinn’s birthday early and also to do something to say farewell to you. Instead of just a big fancy birthday/goodbye dinner, you and Quinn decided to go out for a day on the golf course and out to a casual dinner afterward; you also had to run a few errands because Quinn needed to grab some things before leaving on his upcoming road trip. Quinn picked you up to go with him to drop off his parents at the airport so that you could see them again and he wanted your opinion on some things when he went to IKEA. The car ride over to the airport was fine and Jim and Ellen didn’t mind getting in some extra time with their potential child-in-law. You and Quinn stepped out of the car to help with their bags and give his parents a goodbye hug. While you were giving the Hughes family some space and waiting in the car, Ellen whispered in her son’s ear that you were a keeper. His mother was right and Quinn had known that from the moments that he spent with you, the conversations you shared together and you were everything he ever wanted. Quinn had the keys to unlock your heart but he just needed to use them. Throughout the entire time you were there, Quinn began mentally preparing himself to confess his feelings for you somehow but those plans always fell flat because the anxiety of not being sure if you liked him romantically lingered throughout the air and he was scared to ruin the friendship you shared. He was falling for you hard but he was afraid to take that leap.
With one final wave goodbye, Jim and Ellen left for their flight to New Jersey and you and Quinn continued on the day’s itinerary. Goodbyes were always going to be a bit difficult, no matter who or what you were saying goodbye to. Quinn tried to not wear his heart on his sleeve and be strong but you could tell that Quinn was sad to see his parents go so you reached over and gently placed your hand on top of his. Quinn told you thank you and you shared a quick glance with him before arriving at IKEA. Instead of immediately telling you how he felt, you and Quinn aimlessly wandered around the large store; you had mentioned to Quinn that his apartment was missing a floor lamp in the living room so that he didn’t have to use the overhead ceiling light as much and he took you to IKEA to help him pick one out. Thursday afternoons at IKEA were quiet so it was almost like you and Quinn had the whole store to yourselves. As you walked through the store, you and Quinn looked at the different room setups and asked each other what you liked and disliked about each room setup; you also both began to imagine what it would be like to share a home together. Quinn even absentmindedly grabbed onto your hand and your fingers interlocked together for a brief second before you found the lamps and slipped your hand away to look at them. You picked out a black floor lamp that matched the aesthetic of Quinn’s apartment and continued to wander around the store until you reached the cash register. Quinn didn’t try to hold your hand again and neither of you brought up that moment for the rest of the day. Your time at the golf course was fun; being the self-proclaimed golf expert he was, Quinn did win the game. 
Quinn decided that he wanted to have his birthday dinner/last meal with you at Moxie’s. While you waited for your food to arrive, you gave Quinn his birthday gift. It was challenging to get a gift for someone who could afford plenty and rarely mentioned what they wanted so you got Quinn a signed copy of Golf Kitchen, a cookbook that included recipes from some of the most famous golf clubs around the world, and a grill set that looked like golf items; it combined two of his interests: cooking and golf. Quinn was a bit taken aback by your gift because you didn’t have to actually get him anything; your presence and time spent with him was a gift within itself. He had mentioned it before but Quinn was so grateful to have you as a part of his life and he was going to miss you tremendously once you returned home. You would miss him so much and were sad that your great time with Quinn was coming to an end; you still had an extra full day in Vancouver before your flight early Saturday but the Canucks were leaving for Edmonton on Friday after morning skate. 
After dinner, Quinn walked you up to your hotel room and you and Quinn continued to soak up all of the time you had left together as much as you could before the inevitable departure came. Before leaving, Quinn passed you a signed warm-up puck from last night’s game, mentioning that he owed it to you. You held the piece of rubber in your hand, smoothing your fingers over his signature.
“So now, you own two things with my name on it”, Quinn cheesily told you. 
You were trying to hold back your tears and masquerade your emotions but you began to sob while embracing Quinn for one last time. Quinn felt a bit emotional too and he blurted out that he was in love with you; he decided to be brave and not let the fear take over. You thought your mind was playing a trick on you when you heard him so you looked up at the green eyes that were staring and waiting for a reply from you.
“Did you just say that you’re in love with me?”, you hesitantly asked.
“Um, maybe I should have kept that to myself. I’m sor-”, Quinn rambled.
You cut Quinn off with a kiss, something that he had been waiting a while to experience with you. You repeated that you had loved Quinn back as well. A long wave of relief rushed over the both of you; the jump was worth the fall and you were there to catch him. You didn’t have to say it out loud but Quinn knew that you would always be there for him. Quinn asked if you were available to come back to visit him for Christmas and New Year’s. Maybe losing in a fantasy league wasn’t so bad after all.
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writingonleaves · 1 year ago
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it's so hard to watch everything i want (everything i was spinning down the drain) - trevor zegras
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pairing: trevor zegras x original female character
warnings: swearing, angst-ish, mentions of cheating (not between the two main characters), self-loathing, fluff
based on: "bleach" by 5 seconds of summer + "the archer" by taylor swift. title from "bleach"
word count: 15.6k
author's note: tried my hand at writing trevor's pov and it was Hard. this one means a lot to me personally so i hope you enjoy it as much as i enjoyed writing it! takes place at least five ish years from now so future fic alert!! trevor is finally employed again and that motivated me to finish this LOL
*****
Trevor Zegras is good at a lot of things. Remembering names and faces is at the top of the list.
It kinda makes sense. He’s been meeting and shaking hands with people ever since he was a teenager, most of them wanting something from him in one way shape or form. It’s not completely a bad thing. He wouldn’t have gotten this far without knowing who he was talking to. 
So that’s why it’s such a surprise that it took him a whole damn hour to figure out why the wedding planner for Jack and Amelie’s wedding looked so familiar. Isabelle, she introduced herself as, and he keeps racking his mind to see if he knows an Isabelle, but he comes up empty.
As a groomsman, Trevor was expected to come to the venue earlier. He didn’t have to come a whole week earlier, but he had nothing else going on and the wedding’s in Michigan, so it wasn’t completely inconvenient for him. He just crashed at Jack and Quinn’s, to which the latter rolled his eyes at. But the soon-to-be-married couple were thrilled that he was coming early so they could put him to work, and he was more than happy to help out. 
It’s halfway through assembling floral centerpieces when he shoots his head up to the wedding planner across from him. “Belle Holloway?”
Belle looks up with a small smile. “Been a long time since anyone’s called me that.”
“Holy shit. I knew you looked familiar. It’s been so long.”
“Z, are you bothering Isabelle?” Jack calls out from another table. “Please don’t scare her away. She’s been our lifesaver the last year.”
Belle chuckles. “You don’t need to worry, Jack.”
“Yeah, Hughesy. Belle and I go way back.”
Amelie is passing by and hears that comment, raising her eyebrows. “You two know each other?”
“We grew up in the same town,” Belle explains, tying a ribbon around a bunch of flowers. “My brother was in Trevor’s grade in school. They played hockey together for a bit before Trevor got too good and left.”
“Belle was probably the smartest girl in school,” Trevor adds with a hint of pride in his tone. “Can’t say the same about her brother. Where did you end up going to college?”
“University of Michigan.” Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Jack smirk. Weirdo. He literally didn’t even go to Michigan. 
Trevor whistles. “Still smart. Where is Connor these days? He went to UConn, right?”
“Yup. He’s with his wife in Chicago now. Doing something with finance.”
Trevor makes a mental note to reach out to his old friend the next time he’s in Chicago. “And little Lily?”
Belle chuckles. “Not so little anymore. She graduated from Parsons last year and works at Michael Kors as a designer.”
Trevor smiles knowingly. “Guess her styling Connor all those years paid off, eh?”
“Guess so.”
(Amelie and Jack are at another table working on centerpieces, overhearing this conversation. They give each other a knowing look as they keep eavesdropping. This is why Belle didn’t seem surprised during their initial consultation when they had to explain Jack’s hockey schedule and why he wouldn’t be able to adhere to the traditional timeline if he wanted to be at all the appointments. Little did they know, she already knew someone in the NHL)
She then asks about his family, because while Trevor was always her brother’s friend, their parents got to know each other pretty well to the point where they would go over to each other’s for dinner enough for her to remember. Trevor talks about how Griffin is off doing God knows what in Florida but having a good time at his sports marketing job and how Ava, who’s the same age as Lily, graduated from Elon and is now in the Philly area as a nurse. 
They’re now moving pots of flowers around as they venture into their lives post-grad. “So have you been in Michigan this whole time?” Trevor asks.
“Yeah, though I had a brief stint in Santa Ana. This wedding is my last one here, actually, so a fun one to end on.”
Trevor follows her eye-line at the soon-to-be-newlyweds, who are now decorating the photo station but more fucking around then decorating. Amelie’s slapping Jack’s shoulder as he laughs loudly. Trevor smiles at the sight. “They’re great, aren’t they?”
“They are,” Belle admits. “I’ve worked with a lot of couples, but they’re one of my favorites. From the fact that they’re organized and flexible and so kind and understanding to the fact that they seem to be super in love with each other.”
“You said this is your last wedding here?” Belle nods. “Where you off to next?”
Trevor notices her stiffening a bit, and he immediately wants to take the question back. But the discomfort leaves as fast as it came. “Not sure. Gonna do some last minute packing up and then go home to New York next week to reset and figure it out from there. Connor offered his guest room in Chicago so I might take that. I have some friends that are dispersed around the country as well.” She shakes her head and switches topics and he makes a mental note of her vague answer. “Enough about me. How about you, Mr. NHL? Not gonna lie, when I saw Jack’s list of groomsmen, I had to brace myself mentally when I saw your name.”
“Brace yourself? What does that mean?”
Belle chuckles and his smile widens at the sound. “It’s been awhile, but not everything is different. I’m sure you’re still the life of the party everywhere you go, which means you’re at high risk of intruding on my meticulous plans on the day. Mind grabbing those shears for me next to you?”
He passes her the shears, standing up straight. “Jack’s conned you. He is way worse than I am.”
“Jack is also the groom so he knows that he has to listen to what I say if he wants things to go well,” Belle says. “How have you been, though? Has Anaheim been treating you well?”
“It has. The team’s great. The weather’s great. The beach is right there. Very different from Bedford.”
“Congrats on a great season. The playoff run was fun to watch.”
His eyebrow shoots up. “You watched?”
She shrugs a bit sheepishly. “If a game is on, I’ll usually watch. It’s like white noise to me now, after going to Connor’s, and I guess your games growing up. I went to a couple of Ducks games during the two years I lived in Cali.”
“And you didn’t reach out?”
She wipes her hands on her jeans. “I…you were always more Connor’s friend than mine. Didn’t want it to be weird.”
“It wouldn’t have been,” he assures. “Next time, let me know and I’ll get you tickets. You still have my number?”
“I do.”
“Perfect,” Amelie then comes up and seems like she has a question. “I’ll let you ladies be. Where’s your fiance?” He asks the bride-to-be.
“Quinn just arrived, so probably making sure the bar is all good, since you guys have your weird ass drink preferences,” Amelie says. “We should be almost done here though. Just have a couple last questions for Belle and then we’ll head back.”
Trevor snorts. “Typical. I’ll go find them.” He turns back to Belle with a grin. “Good to see you, Belle. Don’t be a stranger.”
Belle smiles. “I’ll see you at the wedding.”
“I’ll be on my best behavior.” Trevor promises, before walking away. 
When things finally settle down a couple of hours later and he settles into one of the guest rooms for the night, he reflects back to his own childhood and memories of Isabelle Holloway, or Belle, as everyone used to call her. Brunette and green-eyed, Belle was decently quiet compared to him and Connor’s wild teenage boy energy, but she was talkative with her own friends and Trevor’s parents adored her. She loved Taylor Swift, and if Trevor looked into it deeper, her blasting her music around all the time probably got Trevor to like it purely through osmosis. She was always clean, happy to do the dishes and Trevor often caught her organizing the living room and basement without being asked. She was incredibly smart, always had her homework done before hanging out with her friends and seemed to always ace her classes with minimal difficulty. Even when Connor gave her shit just because he was the oldest sibling, she rarely dished it back. That kindness extended to all of Connor’s friends as well, including Trevor, even when they were loud and playing video games when she came home from school. Every memory he has of Connor growing up, Belle’s right around the corner.
Belle Holloway had always been too good to them. It’s a no-brainer that her profession is based on giving something to others.
He still follows Connor on Instagram, so he goes to his old friend’s page to find his sister’s page. She’s private, but he doesn’t hesitate on requesting her account. He goes to take a shower and brush his teeth and when he comes back to his phone, he’s delighted to see that she’s accepted his follow request. 
Thus begins his stalking. 
There’s not many posts to stalk — she only has 47 — but it does span the amount of years he lost touch with the Holloways. There are posts from her later high school years when Trevor had already left Bedford, and he smiles to himself when he sees the post from her high school graduation, with Connor, Belle and Lily all cheesing in one photo. There are various posts from her college years — she must’ve spent a semester or a summer abroad in Barcelona — mixed with some various travels from Yellowstone to Sweden to Miami. Then it gets less frequent after she graduates college, posts of the Michigan landscape, posts with friends on a night out, at a friend’s wedding, the rare photos of just herself. She notices there’s a guy in some of those posts, but no one’s tagged and the caption doesn’t reveal anything, so he figures it must be a friend or ex-boyfriend of some sort. 
One thing that hasn’t changed much, he thinks, is how beautiful she is. As he scrolls on her Instagram and thinks back to seeing her earlier today, he kinda can’t stop thinking about how beautiful she is.
The day of the wedding comes by and it’s an early start for the bridal party. Trevor rolls into the Planterra Conservatory at 8:47 a.m. with coffees for himself, Quinn, Luke and Jack while Cole had gotten coffees for himself, Nico and Alex earlier. The suits are already hung up by the window of the spacious room and beers have already been opened. 
“Starting off early, eh?” He sets down the coffees on the table. 
“It’s a big day,” Luke calls out from steaming everyone’s suits.
“That it is,” he stops by the chair Jack is sitting in and gives him a hug. “Congrats, man. You nervous?”
“Nah,” Jack smiles. “More excited than anything.”
Quinn grabs his coffee and sits down. “I stopped by the bridal suite just a few minutes ago. Amelie said the same thing.”
Jack lights up at the mere mention of her. “I’m just anxious to see her, to be honest.”
Belle walks in then, clad in a light green jumpsuit and a tan blazer, with a bright smile on his face. “Oh good, Trevor made it. Everyone all good in here? Do you guys need anything?”
Jack grins. “We’re all good here, Isabelle. Thank you. I’ll holler if we need anything. Promise.”
She shoots the groom a semi-skeptical look before nodding. “Okay. I’ll check back in, in 30 minutes.”
“Do you need any help at all?” Nico asks. 
She shakes her head with a thankful smile. “You all are too kind. I’m good. Michelle and I are manning the floor. She’s kinda doing my job better than I am, when she has her own bridesmaid duties to worry about.”
“Impossible.” Quinn remarks. “You’re fabulous at your job.”
Belle rolls her eyes fondly, and Trevor’s reminded that even though she’s the one running the show, she’s younger than a majority of the bridal party. “Flatterer.” She takes her phone out of her pocket and clicks her tongue. “Alright. I’m out.” She looks at Trevor with a pointed look. “Zegras. You better come find me if anything goes wrong.”
“Why are you entrusting that responsibility onto me?”
“Because I have so many stories about you that I could tell everyone if you don’t listen to me.”
Trevor gasps in mock offense. “Belle, oh Belle! Resorting to blackmail?”
The whole room laughs as she grins. She stops in front of him, a more serious look on her face. “Call me if anything goes wrong?”
“I gotcha.” He assures her with a firm nod and she shoots everyone one last grin before walking out. If his eyes linger on her, no one has to know. 
(Everyone in the room knows. He doesn’t notice them all giving each other knowing smirks)
Jack speaks up first. “Z, if you end up hooking up with my wedding planner, give her a good time at least. She deserves it.”
“Jesus Christ, Jacky.” Trevor groans as everyone cackles. Thankfully for him, they drop it after that. 
The next time he and Belle get to interact is after the ceremony — to which he couldn’t stop smiling watching one of his his long-time best friends marry the girl of his dreams, proudly watching at the front as they exchanged vows to love each other forever — when it’s time for pictures and Belle and the photographer are working together to direct everybody where they need to go. Belle stops directly in front of Trevor and focuses on fixing his boutonniere. Her tongue pokes out as she focuses on making it straight after several attempts. Even amongst a crazy day, he feels a sense of calm surrounding him. 
She huffs. “Why won’t your boutonniere stay still?”
He smiles down at her cheekily. “On my worst behavior.”
She snorts, before softening. “Thank you for earlier.” He knows she’s referencing when there was a minor mix up with the rings right before the ceremony was about to start and Trevor got it under control within 10 minutes. 
“Of course.”
She puts a piece of stray hair back on his head away from his forehead and he feels his heart flutter at her light touch. She smirks a bit. “On your best behavior today, actually. Like you promised.”
“Don’t count on it once the open bar hits.”
She laughs before moving on to fix Luke’s collar and Trevor gets a second to finally take a normal breath.
The next time he spots Belle is well into the reception, when the dance floor is full and the drinks are flowing and everyone is enjoying themselves. She’s nibbling on a slice of cake in the corner, eyes sweeping through the crowd with a small smile on her face
Trevor, who ditched his blazer after ‘Mr. Brightside’ brought the place down at least 7 songs ago, strolls over, hands in his slacks. “Haven’t seen you in a bit, Belle of the Ball.”
Her nose wrinkles. “No one’s called me that since I was 6.”
“A good wedding to end off on?” 
“I think so,” she smiles, staring at Amelie giggling as she pours a bottle of champagne into Jack’s mouth. “You having a good time?”
“The best. And I’ve been to a lot of weddings. You did beautifully.”
Belle waves him off. “All in a day’s work.”
“Do you still have fun at weddings? Since you have to work them?”
“Yes and no,” she admits. ‘Yes, because the end result is always worth it and seeing the happy couple live their day is always worth it. No because now when I go to weddings of my friends and family, it’s hard to turn my work brain off.” 
“Are you allowed to dance at your clients’ weddings?”
“I usually wouldn’t,” she tucks a piece of hair behind her ear.
“Make an exception for an old friend? To celebrate your last wedding in Michigan?”
She looks away for a second. “I don’t want to make Jack or Amelie feel weird.”
“Those two couldn’t care less. I’m sure they’d actually encourage it.”
He shoots what he hopes is an encouraging smile as he offers a hand. She looks at him for a couple of seconds before letting him help her up. 
It’s perfect timing as ‘Lover’ by Taylor Swift comes on and the once rowdy floor is calmer, with couples dancing with each other or families dancing with their kids. It’s a dance floor filled with love.
He guides Belle to put her arms around his neck as he carefully places his on her waist. 
“I told Connor about seeing you again.” She starts
“Oh yeah? What did he say?”
“He told me to tell you to hit him up the next time you’re in Chicago.”
“Was already planning on it.”
“He also said and I quote ‘if the next thing I hear is that Zegras is dating my sister, I will kill him.’” Trevor tips his head back in laughter as Belle chuckles. “He’s lucky I never dated any of his friends. He had some cute ones.”
“Was I one of them?”
“Nice try. I’m not blowing smoke up your ass, Trevor.” She says dryly. “Besides, I was kinda kidding. It’s not like you or any of his friends would’ve gone for me anyways.”
Now he’s confused. “What?” He thinks she’s joking, but from her face he realizes she’s not. “You do know that like, half of the hockey team had a crush on you, right?” She tips her head back in laughter as he squeezes her waist. “I’m not kidding. It annoyed Connor to no end.”
She snorts. “There’s no way.”
“Up to you whether to believe it or not. Just know that I never lie, Belle.”
She hums, and the way she’s looking at him makes his hands start sweating. He hopes she can’t feel it through her jumpsuit. “What you’ve done with your hockey career and everything, it’s really cool. I’m happy for you, Trevor. You deserve it.”
And he’s heard so many compliments about his career throughout his whole career, but it’s different coming from someone from his hometown. Someone who knew him before he left and knew what he was like before the NHL — before his days at the NTDP, even. Someone who has nothing to gain from complimenting him. 
“Thank you, Belle. That-that means a lot coming from you.”
She just smiles back before they fall into a comfortable silence and keep dancing. He twirls her and does an exaggerated dip that has her giggling. They keep dancing and dancing, even as the songs change tempo.
(Amelie, who’s resting her feet right by the dance floor, nudges Jack and gives him a look. She picks up a disposable camera and points it at them, before taking her phone and also taking a picture. She has an inkling that Trevor and Isabelle may want these someday)
“What are you up to before the season starts?” 
He shrugs. “I’m not sure, actually. I just need to be back in Anaheim for pre-season in three weeks.”
“Where are you staying?”
“Quinn and Jack have been letting me crash at their place. Don’t have an exact date of when I’m leaving yet.”
Belle snorts, though it’s paired with a smile that seems fond. “Still the same, huh, Trev?”
“What do you mean?”
“Your spontaneity used to stress my parents out, even back then. The reason they still liked you is because you could charm your way out of it.”
“I stressed Kurt and Susan out?” He says, actually worried.
“Oh, hush. It’s not that deep. My dad loves watching you play. There’s been many a family call where I hear a Ducks game on in the background. Unless it’s against the Rangers, of course, in which you don’t matter.”
“To be expected,” Trevor says, heart lifting at the fact that two people who used to drive him around so much still support him, even from afar. “Do they still live in Bedford?”
“Yup. Though with the amount of time my dad spends in White Plains golfing, you’d think they lived there now. He’s loving retirement, clearly.”
Trevor laughs. “I’ll have to hit up Kurt when I’m back for a couple rounds. Does Susan still make the best apple pie?”
“Yup. And everyone still raves about it when she brings it to parties.” 
“You think she’d make me a slice?”
“She’d bake you three pies and send you home with them to Julie and Gary.”
He grins. “Never knew little Belle was this sassy.”
“Because you wasted all your time with Connor.” She shoots back with a laugh. 
(Honestly, he thinks as he twirls her again, maybe she’s right. Who knows what could’ve been if he had seen Belle as more than just Connor’s quieter, talented sister.)
“You said you’re leaving next week?”
“Yeah. Just need to sort out some boxes to move to storage before driving back to New York.”
“You’re driving all the way back to Bedford?”
She laughs at his slight disbelief. “Well, yeah. It’s only a 10 hour drive.”
Suddenly, an idea pops into Trevor’s head, and before he can overthink it, he blurts it out. “What if I came with you?” She blinks, and he forges on. “I mean, I don’t have much going on and it’d be nice to go home before pre-season. I’ll help you load your car and pay for your gas and meals and-”
“Trevor, I-are you sure? You don’t have to…we literally just reconnected after not seeing each other for over a decade.”
“I know I don’t have to do anything,” he says, now trying everything to convince her. “If I’m overstepping, you can tell me and I’ll immediately lay off. But it just seems like…maybe some company could be nice. And we could switch off driving too.”
She bites her lip and tilts her head curiously, trying to find something in his face. It only took her a couple of seconds to chuckle. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but sure. Why not? Come join me on my drive back home.”
He lights up, grinning widely. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“When are you planning on leaving?”
“Monday.”
In two days. Perfect.
“This is gonna be so fun. Just you wait.”
“I don’t doubt it. Fun seems to always follow you wherever you go.”
He has to let her go, since she has some last things to do as the wedding planner. He kisses her cheek quickly before he leaves the reception, to which Quinn raises an eyebrow at but doesn’t say anything. The next morning, during the quick and informal thank you breakfast for the bridal party at a nearby, fancy-ish brunch place, Jack throws him under the bus (“Saw you getting pretty comfortable with Isabelle yesterday,”) and he reveals their plan for the next day. 
It might be one of the most TV show worthy reactions from every single person, bridesmaid and groomsmen. Luke chokes on his mimosa, Quinn shakes his head, Alex blinks, Nico has a shit-eating grin on his face, Jack smirks and Cole lets out a bark of laughter. The girls have all been filled in and equally have similar reactions. Amelie immediately says “you’re joking,” Michelle, at the same time as Amelie, says “ain’t no way,” Kaia, like Alex, just blinks. Nicole and Sarah’s jaws drop wide open, Annemarie starts cackling and Isla drops her fork. 
“What?” Trevor responds, munching on his bacon. “Why all the reactions?”
“Z, are you sure about this?” Quinn asks, ever the voice of reason.
“Yes? It’s just a drive. Everyone needs a car buddy for that long of a drive. Gives me an excuse to go home too.”
“Trevor,” Amelie starts. “I think we’re all just a bit confused because this is…not that we don’t like Isabelle! She’s wonderful. But this just seems out of the blue.”
Jack snorts. “There’s nothing confusing about this at all.” Everyone, Trevor included, turns to look at the new groom, who just shrugs while taking a sip of his coffee. “He likes her.”
“For real?”
“Oh my.”
“Okay, Z! Atta boy.”
“Haven’t you not seen her for like, 10 years?”
“Have you liked her this whole time?”
“That’s crazy.”
“Woah, woah, woah.” Trevor says above everyone’s exclamations. He waits until everyone’s settled. “I don’t like her. Not like that, at least. She’s just…I don’t know. It was good to see her again after so long. It felt like going back to old times. Simpler times.”
“It’s giving childhood friends to lovers,” Michelle says, making everyone laugh. Trevor rolls his eyes again and the subject is dropped. 
Jack volunteers to drive Trevor to Belle’s before him and Amelie’s flight to Greece tonight for their honeymoon. He doesn’t leave Quinn and Jack’s place without chirps from every single person still there, gathering their things and cleaning up. He makes sure to leave with giving Amelie a tight hug and a fond kiss on her cheek before playfully glaring at everyone else as he leaves.
He climbs into the passenger seat. “You don’t think I’m crazy?”
“We’ve known each other since we were 16, Z.” Jack says, starting the car. “Nothing you do fazes me anymore.”
Trevor just hums, staring at one of his dearest friends who is now a husband. “Congrats, Jacky. I know I’ve said it a lot recently, but I’m really happy for you.”
A small smile spreads across Jack’s face, as he automatically goes to touch his wedding ring. “Thanks, man.” Silence falls between them. “Did you ever, even just the slightest, like Isabelle as more than a friend? And be honest with me.”
“No,” Trevor replies honestly. “I always knew she was kind and thoughtful, but she was always just Connor’s little sister and kept to herself and her own friends most of the time.”
“And now? Do you like her now?”
“I don’t know,” Trevor replies honestly. If Jack is shocked, he doesn’t show it. Trevor clears his throat, “We haven’t seen each other in over 10 years. I don’t know her enough anymore to know if I like her.”
Jack just hums. “Look, I…”
“You what?” Silence. “Jack.”
“Amelie and I got pretty close with Isabelle beyond her being our wedding planner. Maybe it’s because she’s close to our age or just easy to get along with. I think…she never told us directly, but I think something happened, Z.”
“What do you mean something happened?”
“Well, I wasn’t there, but her and Amelie went out for casual drinks once to plan some stuff out and Amelie was, you know, casually asking her about relationships and if she ever dreamed of her own wedding, and she got super…not defensive. But Amelie said it was like a switch turned on. All she said is that at some point she did, but she’s not at that point of her life anymore, and then she immediately changed the topic. It’s none of my business, I get that, but she’s also my friend, Z. Just…look out for her, okay?”
“Of course I will,” Trevor promises as Jack slows down in front of Belle’s house. They both climb out of the car and Trevor grabs his backpack, duffle and garment bag from the backseat.
“Thanks for driving.” Trevor embraces his friend in a tight hug.
“Anytime,” Jack says. “Thanks for everything this last week. And just in general. I love you.”
“Love you too, man. Have fun on your honeymoon.”
Jack smiles. “Thank you. You two drive safe, eh? Let Amelie and I know when you're back in New York.”
Trevor just nods, before walking up to the front door and knocking. Within seconds, Belle opens the door with a wide smile. She looks beyond Trevor’s shoulder and waves at Jack as he drives away.
“Hi!”
Trevor can’t help but smile at her energy. It’s infectious. “Hey, Belle. Are you sure you don’t mind letting me crash for the night? I can always get Quinn to come get me later.”
She opens the door wider to let him in. “It’s not a bother at all. As long as you’re good with sleeping on the floor.” He just waves her off, setting his duffle and backpack down and looking around at the barren household. “I would give you a tour, but there’s really not much to see anymore.”
“You need any help?”
She smiles at him sweetly. “I have some boxes in the garage that you could help me move?”
He’s eager to help, until he lifts the first box, grunting about how heavy it is. Belle just chuckles, because why else had she not moved these in her car yet? If she has a professional hockey player volunteering to help her move, then she might as well put him to use, right? Trevor just rolls his eyes, but he can’t help but let a smile peek through at hearing Belle’s giggles. Once the car is packed (it takes longer than usual, as they stand out in the driveway and in the garage inbetween moving, chirping at each other and catching up), they realize it’s getting close to dinner time especially if they want to get an early start in the morning. Trevor asks what she wants to have (“as your last night living in the state of Michigan”) and she lights up, dialing up the place of her favorite Asian fusion takeout place. Trevor tries to hand over his card but she smacks it out of his hand, glaring at him while still on the phone. 
It’s a nice day outside, so they decide to venture out and have dinner on the front porch that she’s going to miss very much, leaning their backs against the panels of the house, sitting a comfortable 4 feet apart, Trevor’s knees pulled up and Belle with her legs outstretched and ankles crossed. He watches as she looks out at the sunset painting the quiet residential street, which is even more stunning than usual. If you listen closely, you can hear the sounds of kids gleefully screaming and dogs barking here and there. For a moment, Trevor feels like he’s intruding as Belle continues staring out, lost in her own world. Her focus only shifts a few minutes later when a car rolls up with their take out, as she jumps up and accepts the food with a gracious smile.
He helps her open boxes and suddenly there’s a generous spread of food between them as they start eating.
Trevor breaks the silence. “You never told me why.”
“Why what?”
“Why you’re leaving Michigan.”
She’s in the middle of stuffing a crab rangoon in her mouth. She chews and swallows for a couple of seconds. “It’s a long story.”
“I have nothing but time if you want to share.”
“I lied. It’s not really a long story. Just a sad one. That’s just my go-to when people ask.”
“You don’t have to lie to me. Ever. But you also don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”
She lets out a deep sigh. “I was supposed to get married earlier this year.”
He blinks. Once. twice. And he’s speechless for once in his life. She barrels on. 
“Nate and I…I met him at UMich my junior year. I had full plans to leave Michigan right after college. Not that I don’t love it here, but I just wanted to go home. But he got an offer here after graduation and I found a gig working for a great wedding planner so I stayed. And it was good. The brief stint in Santa Ana I mentioned was because of his job, so we moved out there. But I really didn’t mind. I actually really enjoyed California.” She picks at her fingernails, “He proposed to me the beginning of last year, a week before we were gonna move back to Michigan. And I was happy. Really happy. So many years I had been planning other people’s weddings and I was finally going to have my own with someone I loved.”
“Belle, you don’t have to-”
She waves him off. “The day of our cake tasting, we were running late and he was in the shower and I grabbed his phone to put in my bag. And there was a text that flashed on my lock screen. ‘Missed you, baby. See you tonight’ and that was it. He had been cheating on me for almost a year. I moved out that night and crashed with a friend for a few weeks before finding this place. Grabbed my shit when I knew he was gone during the day at work. Canceled all of the deposits. Gave the ring back.” She chuckles, albeit sadly. “Funny. The week after I found out, I had my first consultation with Amelie and Jack and honestly, throwing myself into their wedding planning may have saved me, not that they know that. Anyways, yeah. That’s why I’m leaving Michigan. I honestly would’ve done it sooner but I had to stick it out for those two. They deserved it.”
Trevor’s silent for a couple more moments. “Promise me something.”
“What?”
“If we see him out and about, point him out so I can kick his ass.”
Her chuckle comes out broken but genuine. “Connor was real close when I told him. I was afraid he’d just start driving here. So you’d have to get behind him in line.”
“Gladly,” he scoots closer to her and offers an arm. She collapses into his side. “God, Belle. I’m so sorry. No one deserves that, least of all you.”
She sniffles. “It’s okay.”
“No, Belle. It’s not okay. What an asshole.” He can feel tears on his shirt and he starts rubbing her back in soothing circles. “You deserve someone to love you just as much as you love them. Someone to put you above all, who views your love and presence as a privilege. Because it is a privilege. I would know.”
She snorts, still sniffling. “You made fun of me all the time when we were younger.”
“Nah ah ah. Connor did. I didn’t. And that doesn’t mean I didn’t know how lovely you were even back then. Why do you think Connor and I were so against you going on a date with that guy…what was his name?”
“Trent.”
“Yeah. Trent. First of all, just sounds like a douchebag.”
“And Trevor is so much better?”
“Second, because he was an ass. We didn’t terrorize you about it just because. We terrorized you about it because we knew he had cheated on his ex-girlfriend.”
“Maybe if you had ever met Nate, you could’ve sniffed out his bullshit right away. Took me around 6 years to figure it out.”
“You’ve always had good judgment, Belle. No need to blame yourself when you did nothing wrong.”
“Did I though?” She whispers. “Do nothing wrong, I mean. What if-what if I was working too much or I wasn’t attentive enough or I didn’t-”
Trevor shakes his head adamantly. “Belle, no. Stop. Absolutely not. You did enough. You were enough. I’m not gonna sit here and let you pick apart yourself unfairly. You stayed in Michigan for him. You moved to Santa Ana for him. You gave all you had. And he’s the one who fucked it all up. That’s not on you.”
She signs, a bit defeated but musters a small smile. “Thanks, Trevor.”
“Of course.” He stuffs a piece of sushi in his mouth.
She shoots him a small smile that has him swallowing roughly. “Nonetheless, I’m really happy we ran into each other. It’s been nice to have a slice of home back in my life again.”
Trevor just smiles, staring into her warm eyes. “Me too.”
…..
It’s hour two into the 10 hour drive when she breeches the subject again. 
“Connor never liked him.” Trevor turns to look at Belle, who has one hand on the wheel casually. He automatically turns the music down as she continues. “He tried to get along with him, for my sake. But Connor was never sold. I always thought it was just him being a protective older brother. When I asked why, he always just gave some vague answer. Didn’t like his vibe, or whatever. It’s been hard not to agonize over now. If I should’ve just listened to him from the start.” Trevor doesn’t know what to say, but just faces her fully so she knows that he’s listening. She lets out a heavy breath as she puts her sunglasses atop her head. “I never asked. How’s your love life?”
Trevor snorts and the playfulness is back in the air again. “Well, not married like Connor is. I’ve had a couple things here or there. Clearly nothing that’s stuck.”
“Any particular reason why?”
He shrugs, suddenly feeling a bit small even though he knows that’s not her intention whatsoever. “I think when people date me, they don’t necessarily want all of me, you know? They want the jokester and the charmer. They don’t want the shifts in mood or the obsession of figuring out why I’m in a scoring drought or the insecurities.”
Belle hums sympathetically. “I think you just haven’t found the right one yet.”
“You sound like Quinn.”
She laughs. “From the small amount of interactions I’ve had with him, I’d say that sounds pretty on brand.” She shrugs. “You have time though. We all do. If that’s something you even want.”
“What? Marriage?”
“Yeah.”
“I do, I think. Want that, I mean. It’s just…hard. And scary. The thought of giving someone all of you? That’s giving them a lot of power.”
“I get it,” she says. “God, I really get that.”
“Is marriage not something you want anymore?”
She sighs. “I don’t know. I think I still do. It’s just…it’s still too soon, you know? And I don’t know if I have the energy to, like you said, give someone all of me again. I got hurt once. I don’t know if I can afford that again.”
“Well, for what it’s worth, I think you’re one of the best people I’ve ever known. So anybody would be lucky to love you.”
And shit, that kinda slipped out. His heart starts racing as she looks at him briefly in surprise. “That’s…that’s very kind of you, Trevor. Probably too big of a compliment.”
“Not too big of a compliment,” he automatically responds, digging himself into a deeper hole that he can’t even decipher. If he thinks about it too hard, he would realize that this is the most open he’s been with someone outside of his tight circle in awhile. And a week ago, she hadn’t even crossed his mind.
“You know, you were my favorite out of Connor’s friends back then.” 
A pang of satisfaction touches his heart and he’s grinning. “Yeah?”
Belle rolls her eyes at his slight smugness. “Don’t let that get to your head.”
“Too late.”
“I don’t know. I just..liked how friendly you were to everyone you encountered. I don’t think there was ever a time when you came over and didn’t strike up a conversation with me. Even though I was quiet and shy, you still always treated me like a person.”
“I feel like that’s the bare minimum, no?”
She shrugs. “Now that we’re in our late twenties, sure. But back when we were 12, 13 years old? You’d be surprised.” 
He watches her drum her fingers against the steering wheel, the patterned bandana in her ponytail swinging with the wind, wispies from her ponytail framing her face. If he looks hard enough, he can see 10 year old Belle sitting on the sofa in the Holloway’s living room, a sketchbook on her lap and a glass of apple juice next to her. If he listens hard enough, he can hear her humming to ‘Love Story’ as he leaves Connor’s room to walk past her room in the hallway to the bathroom. Maybe he can even smell her vanilla body spray that used to always filter out of her room if he breathes in deeply enough. 
All he can see and hear and feel is his childhood self. Looking at her makes him feel blissfully young, a bit naive and incredibly out of his depth. 
She casts him a casual glance. “You good?”
Trevor grins easily. “Never better.” 
It’s hour five after stopping for lunch. Trevor’s behind the wheel now and her legs are up on the seat with her as she stares out the window, her chin on her knees. He has an urge to put a hand on her knee. To comfort her or to let her know that he’s there, he doesn’t know. But he refrains. 
“Belle?”
“Hm?” 
“Can I ask you a question?”
She turns to face him, chin still on her knees. “Should I be nervous?”
He snorts. “No. I’m just a dumb hockey player. What could I possibly say that would catch you off guard?”
“You’re not dumb. And plenty. You knew me when I was 13 and in my awkward phase. That’s longer than most of the people I’ve seen in the last five years. What’s your question?”
Okay, Trevor can dissect all of that later. ““Are you going to miss Michigan?”
She lets out a thoughtful hum. “I’ll miss parts of it. I loved going to college at Michigan, made a lot of friends from college and work. And I grew up a lot here. Not to mention, Michigan’s almost unfairly beautiful. I’ll also weirdly miss my porch a lot. But also, it’s tough driving around with thoughts of Nate at every corner. Because he’s present in practically all the memories I have here. So I’m glad I’m leaving because I know I need to.” He turns to her quickly and sees her lip quiver. Almost as if he had imagined it, she offers a small smirk. “That’s the question you were so afraid to ask me?”
He sputters out a laugh. “What does that mean?” He asks defensively. 
She shakes out her hair to redo her ponytail. "You never had a problem asking anything to anyone back in the day.”
“Things change.”
She pauses for a split second before tying up her hair and looking at him. “They do. I’m sorry for assuming they don’t.”
Hour eight and they’ve been in a comfortable silence for a bit now. One can only talk for so long, even someone as chatty as Trevor. Belle’s behind the wheel again and her phone is plugged in playing music. The playlist he had put on initially has cycled through and without asking, he plugged her phone in and shuffled a random playlist of hers.
He vaguely recognizes Taylor Swift’s voice and looks to see what song it is. ‘The Archer.’ His ears perk up as he listens to her softly sing along, and then, he’s actually listening to the words. 
Belle’s eyebrows are pinched together as she sings about people seeing right through her and how all the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t put her together again. He wants to offer her a hand to squeeze, a touch for support, but he doesn’t. 
He clears his throat. “So. Santa Ana. What was your favorite part?”
She automatically grins. “All of it? I don’t know. I liked my job. I liked the area. I liked the weather. It felt like a breath of fresh air, in a way.”
“Would you consider moving back?”
“Maybe. I honestly haven’t really thought of anything but leaving Michigan recently.”
He stops asking her questions. He doesn’t want to keep bringing up the pain. 
By the time she rolls into the driveway of Trevor’s childhood home, it’s almost 8 pm. Almost as soon as she kills the engine, the front door opens, revealing both his parents. Julie runs out, only barely letting Belle step out of the car before throwing her arms around her. He smiles fondly as his mother puts her hands on Belle’s cheeks as the younger woman chuckles, before turning to Gary and giving him a quick hug as well. Trevor drags his stuff out of the trunk and shuts it, smiling to himself as he listens to his mother invite Belle and her parents over for dinner the next night and watching Belle nod enthusiastically. 
She then turns to him and it feels like someone has reached into his heart and punched it. She smiles. “Thanks for the company.”
He puts down his duffle and scoops her into a tight hug, only letting her go after giving her a soft kiss on the cheek. “Anytime. See you tomorrow?”
“See you tomorrow.”
(And if he catches his mom giving him an inquisitive look as they all watch Belle back out of the driveway, he doesn’t say anything)
Tomorrow comes and Trevor’s content with mostly being lazy, adjusting to being home and around his parents. It feels weird to be in these walls without Griffin and Ava, but then again, he’s sure it’s one-sided. He moved away when he was so young, leaving behind his supportive parents and his even-more-supportive siblings. They got used to Trevor not being around. 
He’s recapping Jack’s wedding to his father on the patio while his mom is preparing pies in preparation for the Holloways, the mouthwatering smell filtering through the screen door. He smiles as he recalls the week leading up when he went early and was roped into helping out, how beautiful Amelie looked and how he had never seen Jack that excited and happy before, not when he was drafted first overall, not when he won the Eastern Conference Final. He talks about how their vows made Trevor tear up and just how fun it was to celebrate two people he loves. He talks about reconnecting with Belle and briefly brushes over their drive back. He gives vague answers when his parents — mostly his mom — try to pry more, partially because it’s so much that he’s still trying to decipher it himself and partially because some of it isn’t his place to tell. 
An hour later, he can’t help but beam as Belle’s parents greet him similarly to how his greeted Belle the day before. He helps Susan bring in the pasta salad and shakes Kurt’s hand, his slight nerves settling as the first thing Kurt says is how proud of Trevor he is. Belle is the last one who walks through the door, listening to the moms talking animatedly in her ear. She’s wearing a pink floral maxi dress with a denim jacket over her shoulders and she’s glowing. He itches to give her a hug but just settles for a grin instead before turning his full attention to Kurt. 
It’s when the parents are filtering outside does he get a chance to say hello to her as they both hang back in the kitchen. She bumps her hip with his. “Long time no see.”
He pulls her into a side hug. “Hilarious. Want anything to drink before heading out there?”
She eyes the few bottles of wine in the mini wine cabinet. “White wine if it’s not too much of a hassle?”
He opens the fridge and grabs a wine glass. “My mom put a bottle in the fridge earlier. It’s her favorite, so if it’s bad, it’s not my fault.” She takes the glass from him graciously and he grabs a bottle of beer for himself as they both head outside. 
“It’s weird being here without Connor.”
“I was just thinking earlier how it’s weird being here without Griffin and Ava.”
“At least we have each other, right?”
He hums. “Good thing.” She then gets roped into a conversation with his father and he happily takes a backseat, answering when a question is directed towards him but perfectly content in watching her. 
(Julie and Susan, who had never really considered these two as a pair, nudge each other and exchange a few words, watching as Belle laughs while sipping her wine and Trevor just stares at her.
“She was supposed to get married last year. To a guy she met in college.”
Julie’s eyebrows shoot up. “Is that right?”
“Yup. Until she caught him cheating.”
Julie sighs. “I wish we could protect our kids from everything that could hurt them.”
“I do too.” Susan watches her daughter wistfully and lovingly. “She’s always thrown herself into work, But especially after the break-up. You have no idea how relieved I was when she told me she was coming home.”
“Does she know where she’s going next?”
“Not that I know of. For the first time in her life, she doesn’t know.”
“She’ll be okay,” Julie says confidently, rubbing her old friend’s shoulder. “I’ve never had any doubt about Belle.”
“But you had doubt in the others?” Susan teases as Julie snorts. “All our kids are doing well for themselves, but you have one who is the definition of achieving their childhood dream.”
Julie sighs thoughtfully, looking at Trevor. “He’s done well for himself, I think.”
“You think?”
Julie just smiles, clinking her glass against Susan’s.)
Meat is grilled, salads are tossed and food is eaten as the sun fades away. Sometime between sunset and when the sky becomes black, the fireplace is lit and the outdoor lamps are turned on. Trevor switched to water after his second beer, liver still trying to recover from the wedding festivities. 
Trevor finds Belle sitting by the edge of the pool with her feet dipped in, sandals to the side of her. Her hands are folded on her lap as she stares down, occasionally kicking her feet a bit to make the water ripple. He clears his throat so he doesn’t startle her. She looks up and her lips quirk up at seeing him, but they soon fall, as she turns back to the water and tilts her head to the side, taking a deep breath. 
Trevor licks his dry lips. “Come with me?”
“Where are we going?” She asks, accepting the hand he offers as she gets up and slips on her shoes, adjusting her dress. 
“You’ll see. We won’t be long.” Wordlessly, they go around the side of the house to go to the driveway. He catches his mom’s eye and just offers a small smile. Julie’s eyes flicker between him and Belle before she nods. Belle doesn’t say anything as Julie tosses her son the keys to her car, letting Trevor lightly tug her along by loosely intertwining their hands. He opens the passenger door for her and she gives him a grateful look as she slips in. 
He hasn’t been to his intended destination in at least five years, but he knows the route all the same, easily driving the seven minutes. He sneaks a glance or two at Belle as the minimal streetlights light her face aglow for a few seconds at a time. Before he overthinks it, he reaches out and grabs her hand gently, waiting for her to pull away. She doesn’t, instead lacing her hand with his and squeezing once. 
“I haven’t been here since I was in high school,” Belle says as Trevor kills the engine, the tranquility of the small lake and lookout everyone who grew up in Bedford called “Pink Sun” due to the incredibly beautiful sunsets one could see if they were lucky, no one knowing that it’s actual government name was. He’s almost confident that this specific lookout is private property, due to the string lights adorning the trees meticulously that seem to always be on, but whoever owns the property clearly doesn’t care. He would come in the summers from time to time with friends like Connor after he moved away for hockey, but he knows he didn’t experience it the same way as others did.
“Which tree did you have sex under?” Trevor asks as they get out of the car and open the trunk. He quickly fluffs up the two pillows his mom has in the car at all times and pulls the blanket over them both as they get comfortable.
She chuckles and Trevor immediately smiles at the sound. “Gross.”
“What? Isn’t that what people did?” She just lightly slaps him before they both fall into a comfortable silence again. She takes her hand from under the blanket and reaches out to find Trevor’s. He offers his hand immediately. It feels like the most natural thing in the world. 
She starts sniffling, and when he turns to her, concerned, he sees tears rushing down her face. He immediately wraps his arms around her and maneuvers her so that she’s crying into his chest. He tries to be steady for her shaking body, rubbing her back and muttering sweet nothings to assure that he’s here and she’s not alone. He places a couple of kisses on top of her head without thinking because there’s a split down the middle of his heart that’s widening everytime she whimpers.
She cries. The water ripples. Trevor holds her close. 
…..
The entire time Trevor’s back home, he doesn’t go more than a day without seeing Belle. They get ice cream, sitting in the chairs that haven’t been replaced in at least 30 years and giggling as the ice cream drips over their fingers. They go back to Pink Sun to watch the sunset. Because this whole month has him feeling nostalgic, he goes back to his old rink in Stamford and she tags along, indulging him as he pulls up his hoodie over himself as they watch the last 15 minutes of a game the AAA team that Trevor used to be a part of is playing in. Some of the front office staff is still the same and they all immediately beam when seeing Trevor. He chokes up a bit when talking to some of them. He’s missed it here more than he thought he would. 
After training sessions, he just shows up to her house without any warning. They take a lot of drives, passing by landmarks they know well and ones they don’t know at all. They spend hours chatting on the porch of her parents’ place, waving at neighbors as they walk by and petting their dogs. She doesn’t cry in his chest again, but there are stretches of silence where she craves a comforting shoulder. Trevor doesn’t hesitate to offer his. 
He learns more about why she enjoys wedding planning and her time in Michigan. She learns more about how his goals have changed the longer he’s been in the league and his time in Anaheim. They both talk about times they feel like they’ve had their heart ripped to pieces and he finds himself admitting things he’s never admitted out loud to anyone — not Jamie, not Jack, not Cole, not Alex. 
He wonders to himself how he’s lived this long without her in his life. 
The day Trevor has to leave for Anaheim, she offers to drive him to LaGuardia, smiling as he hugs his parents goodbye in the driveway, promising to see them soon when the Ducks are playing in New York. 
She shuts the trunk at the departures drop-off area with a wistful smile. “I’ll miss you, Trev.”
“I’m gonna miss you too.” And then he practically manhandles her into a tight hug, his chin resting on her shoulder, rubbing her back before pulling away. “If you ever wanna come out to Anaheim, there’s always a place for you to stay.”
“I’ll think about it.” With most people, it’s an empty promise. But with Belle, he knows she means it. “Good luck this season. Score some goals, yeah?”
He rolls his eyes, arms still around her waist. “Don’t be a stranger, okay? You have my number. Use it.”
She nods, tilting her head to the side. “Okay.” She presses a kiss on his cheek before he forces himself to let go. She sticks her hands in her jean pockets. “Text me when you land?”
“Of course. Bye, Belle. I’ll see you soon.”
“Bye. Travel safe.”
Trevor forces himself not to look back as he walks through the automatic doors. 
…..
The first roadie of the season includes a stop in Chicago, and Trevor doesn’t hesitate to text Connor. He feels the familiar pang in his heart again, guilty that he hasn’t reached out until now. But when he and Connor meet up for a quick coffee the morning of the game, it washes away quickly. They fall right back to where they were when they were 16, even though they’re both over a decade older and a bit wiser now. Trevor practically shoves two tickets for the game for him and his wife, even though Connor is trying to bat his hand away. 
After the game, the three of them go to dinner and he gets introduced to Ashley, Connor’s wife, who is peppy and fun and he loves seeing her and Connor together. After dinner, Ashley excuses herself to go home as the two of them migrate to a nearby pub. They have years to catch up on. 
“Belle tell you about the break-up?”
Trevor scoffs, taking a hefty sip of his beer. “Yeah. Fucking asshole.”
“Took the words right out of my mouth. When she decided to get the fuck out of Michigan, I was relieved.”
“Yeah?”
Connor sighs. “Yeah. I know she says she stayed because of the Hughes wedding, but I also think it’s because she had a hard time letting go. Which, you know, who can blame her, right?” Trevor just nods sympathetically. Connor leans back, eyes flickering elsewhere for a moment. “Thanks, by the way.”
“What for, man?”
“For looking out for her.” There’s a hint of relief in Connor’s tone. “She’s always been independent, I’m sure you remember. And she has a hard time letting people know that she’s struggling, even if we all see it and want to help. Whatever you did, thank you, man. It’s appreciated.”
Trevor bites his tongue. He wants to say that he doesn’t have to thank him for being a good friend, but Connor is adamant. So Trevor just smiles.
…..
The season’s in full swing, but Trevor makes the effort to keep in contact with Belle frequently. Whether it’s sending a meme or calling on his way to practice, Belle becomes a part of his daily life. 
A month in Bedford now and he can tell she’s getting a bit restless. She’s taken up crocheting, which Trevor loves to make fun of her for. Until he finds a little box on his doorstep and opens it to find a crocheted Wild Wing. He hands it on his rearview mirror in the car. He doesn’t fully realize she’s watching his games until he sees a text from her after a game against New Jersey (“Don’t let Jack hang the win over your head too much. That slapshot was insane.”) and that has him grinning much too widely for someone who just lost.
On Thanksgiving Day, after one of the guys’ families hosts a Friendsgiving for the whole team, he’s back at his place on the couch when she calls him. 
Her face comes up on the screen and he has to smile. “Oh. Hey.” she says gently. “I didn’t actually expect an answer.”
“You just caught me. I just got home from Friendsgiving with the team. Happy Thanksgiving, by the way.”
“Happy Thanksgiving.”
He doesn’t recognize her background. “Where you at?”
“My aunt’s. They’re all watching the game in the basement so I decided to take a break up in the living room.”
“Good food?”
“I’m fucking stuffed,” she admits, making Trevor laugh. “I’m not bad in the kitchen, but nothing beats a good homemade turkey and stuffing.”
“I feel you. So what’s been happening? Haven’t called in a bit.”
“It’s been, like, a week, Trev.”
“Exactly. A bit.”
She rolls her eyes, before leaning back further into the couch. “Actually, I do have news. Kinda.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I, uh, heard back from two people about a job. My old boss from Santa Ana said there’s a spot open for me if I want it. And then my boss in Michigan recommended me to someone in Manhattan, and she called me yesterday and also said I had a job if I wanted it.”
He grins. “Belle. That’s amazing! Congratulations. I’m not surprised though. I know firsthand how damn good you are at your job.”
He sees her blush slightly and he thinks it’s adorable. She twirls her hair around her finger. “Thanks. I’m, yeah. It’s pretty exciting. I’m excited to get back into it again.”
“So. California and New York. Those are two pretty different places.”
She sighs. “Yeah. That’s partially why I called you. Kinda want to get another opinion.”
Before he can stop himself, he snorts. “You’re telling me you haven’t made a pros and cons list already? Don’t think I don’t remember you forcing me to make one when I was deciding if I should go to Avon.”
She tilts her head to the side. “You remember that?”
“There’s not a lot of memories I have from growing up here that don’t have you in them. Of course I remember.”
She bites her lip but Trevor can see the smile peeking through. She clears her throat. “I do. Have a list.”
“So you’ve already made your decision.”
She opens her mouth. Then closes it. “Yes and no. I really do want your opinion, Trevor.”
“Floor’s all yours.”
“I love New York, but I don’t know if I can stay here. If I go back to Santa Ana, is it going to be like Michigan again? I don’t know what Santa Ana is like without Nate.”
“No,” he responds immediately. “It won’t be.”
“How are you so sure?”
“Because Santa Ana is yours, Belle. No one else’s. You said it yourself. You loved your time there. If Michigan doesn’t feel like home anymore and New York feels too much like your past self, California is waiting for you.”
A couple seconds of silence before a small chuckle erupts from Belle. “You take a creative writing class at BU or something? That was actually eloquent.”
If he were next to her, he’d shove her off the couch. He just huffs as she keeps laughing. “My point is, is that you can make fresh starts in familiar areas. Plus, not that I have anything to do with this, but Santa Ana is pretty damn close to Anaheim.”
“Knew you’d say that.”
“I mean, can you blame me? ” He leans back on the couch. “I don’t think you’re incapable of moving on. I think, in a way, you aren’t ready to, and that’s why Santa Ana scares you. You have to and are inevitably going to make new memories wherever you are, but you just have to do it. Take the leap. Dive in the deep end. Whatever the fuck they say.”
And well, that came out a bit harsher than Trevor intended, if the slight flinch on Belle’s face is an indication. But she sighs, “You’re right. I know you’re right. Fuck, Trev. Maybe I shouldn’t have quit and stayed in Michigan.”
“Stop,” he says. “We’re not doing that. Now you have to come out to California. Who else is gonna tell you to get your head out of your ass?” His goal is achieved as she laughs. “Seriously though. Whatever choice you make, you have my full support.”
Four days later, he sees that Belle left him a voicemail in the middle of the game. She’s coming to Santa Ana. Trevor starts organizing the guest room.
…..
Three days into the new year and Trevor finds himself running out of morning skate to drive to LAX. Belle’s staying with him while she looks for her own place, at Trevor’s insistence. He told her she can stay as long as she needs. He hopes she takes that offer seriously. 
He rolls up to the arrivals terminal and idles his car, seeing a text from Belle indicating that she’s still waiting to pick up her luggage. He leans back in his seat, taking a deep breath adjusting the baseball cap on his head, bopping along to the latest playlist that he made for this season.
He’s about to do a drum solo on his steering wheel when he spots Belle come out of the double doors, rolling two suitcases, backpack on her back and a tired but genuine smile on her face. He immediately leaps out of the car, running to lift her up in a hug, making her chuckle. 
“Hey Trevor.”
He kisses her cheek before putting her down. “Belle of the Ball. How was your flight?”
“Good. Long,” she reaches to get her suitcases and he waves her off, lifting her suitcases easily into his trunk as she slips into the passenger seat. She sags into the seat and turns to him with a bigger smile as he turns on the engine. “It’s really good to see you.”
He reaches to ruffle her hair to ignore the funny feeling in his stomach. “Missed you too.”
They catch each other up on what’s been happening since the last time they talked, so only really the last week. Once he turns off the highway, he opens the windows and he periodically glances at Belle, who’s leaning her head on the seatbelt strap as the houses blur by. She tucks her hair behind both her ears and Trevor feels his throat start to close up. 
“Hungry?”
“A bit.”
“Enough to wait a bit so I can cook something up?”
She looks toward him in subdued delight. “You cook?”
“Decently, I’d say.”
“What are you gonna make me?”
Whatever you want, he thinks. “I make a pretty good steak.”
“Well, I’m not gonna say no to a personal chef.”
“Don’t get used to it,” he points at her jokingly. She laughs, but honestly, Trevor doesn’t hate the idea. 
Belle’s car got shipped yesterday to Trevor’s place the week prior, so two days later, when Belle starts work and Trevor has to go to morning skate, they leave the house at the same time after cups of coffee and climb into their own cars, Belle wearing a red sleeveless blouse and white jeans and Trevor wearing a Duck t-shirt and shorts. 
Before she can fully get into her car, Trevor runs around and squeezes her, making her squeal. “Good luck today. You’re gonna kill it.”
“Thanks Trevor. Have fun at morning skate.”
“Are you still cool with a couple of the guys coming over for dinner?”
“It’s your house, dude. You can invite over whoever you want.”
“It’s also your home too,” Trevor insists.
She rolls her eyes fondly. “It’s not. But of course you can have your friends over. I’m excited to meet them.” She gets in her car, but before she shuts the door, she puts her head out. “Do you mind grabbing some orange juice? I think you’re running out and I drink more of it than you do. Just Venmo request me.”
“Yeah, I gotcha. Won’t Venmo request you though,” she opens her mouth to protest but he just taps the roof of her car twice. “We can talk about splitting stuff later. Bye now!”
“Dick,” she mutters as she shuts her door. He chuckles. He lets her back out of the driveway first.
That night, Mason, Jamie and Leo come over and the four of them are finishing up cooking dinner when Belle walks in. A bit flushed and sweaty, she’s nothing but smiles as she slips off her shoes, putting down her bag and introducing herself. She hugs each of them with a sweet smile before finally reaching Trevor. She hugs him like she did with the other three, but he thinks she holds on a bit longer. He smacks a friendly kiss on her cheek, but he catches Jamie’s eye as she pulls away and he knows he’s going to absolutely be grilled about this tomorrow. 
Dinner’s practically ready and the guys just shoo Belle away to the dining table, Leo pouring out a glass of wine for her. They chat and swap stories over chicken alfredo and salad, and Trevor’s content sitting back and watching two different parts of his life come together, not even jumping in to defend himself that much when she recalls some shenanigans from Jack’s wedding. Sure, they at least know of Jack, Alex, Cole and other various members of the NTDP crew who knew him when he was 17 and stupid, but Belle’s known him since they were children. Whether she — or Trevor even — realizes it or not, Belle and Trevor know each other in the purest way. The way only childhood allows, where filters of judgment, insecurities and expectations cease to exist. 
Even with almost two decades lost in translation, Trevor thinks, in a way, Belle might know him better than most. And he might know her better than most.
Which is why he can sense that an hour after dinner, that Belle is exhausted, so he takes the initiative and the guys immediately pick up on it, bidding Belle goodbye and making her promise that she’ll come to a game soon. Once the door shuts, Trevor goes to start washing the dishes, batting her hand away when she tries to help. 
“Trevor. You cooked. I’ll clean.”
“Nope. Go to take a shower. You’ve had a long day.”
“You have too.”
He waves her off. “Go. I got this.” Her shoulders sag in defeat, but she shoots him a thankful smile and heads to shower. 
He’s just about finishing up the dishes and wiping down the counter when she walks back in, an old Michigan t-shirt and flannel pants on. She has her book in her hands but comes by next to him. “Are you sure you don’t need help cleaning up?”
He puts the kitchen towel back on the hook and swings an arm around her shoulder, bringing her against his side. “I’m sure. Where you unwinding for the night?”
“Probably the living room, if you don’t mind?”
“Belle. My home is your home. I mean it. I’ll probably join you after I shower.”
And he does, coming back in afterwards with only the living room light being on. He sees Belle curled up on the couch, engrossed in her book as one of the candles he rarely uses is lit up on the table in front of her. The air smells faintly of pine. 
“Do you mind if I put on some football? I’ll put the volume low.”
She hums. “Not at all.” With her feet in his lap, blanket tucked over both of them, Trevor thinks that he could get used to this. 
…..
Two weeks later, they’re finishing up their takeout when Belle clears her throat. “So I found a place that seems promising.”
Trevor stiffens. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. It’s about 10 minutes from here. Just renting for now, which isn’t ideal. But it’s so soon, you know? I don’t wanna buy yet.”
Trevor understands the latter part, absolutely. But he’s still stuck on the first part of what she said. “When would you think of moving out?”
“At the start of the month.”
“That’s next week.”
She grimaces, washing their utensils. “Yeah. I just…I want to get out of your hair as soon as possible.”
“Belle,” his voice lowers into a serious tone that doesn’t come out of him that often. It works, because it gets Belle to look at him. “If you want to move out, I can’t stop you. It’s ultimately your decision. But I love having you here. So please don’t…don’t think you have to move out to get out of my hair. Because you don’t. I’d love for you to stay and live with me. Full time.”
Belle swallows, searching for something in his face. “You mean that?” She whispers. 
“Of course I do.” He pushes on. “And you know I’m a shitty liar.”
She chuckles as she finishes washing the dishes. On her way to the bathroom, she stops and just hugs Trevor. He welcomes it with a big smile. “You 100% sure?”
“Yes.”
She pulls away with a smile. “Okay. Your porch is better anyways.” 
Trevor laughs, his mind briefly flashing to an image of this place that had been only his for so long one day becoming theirs, with her throw pillows on the couch and fairy lights on the porch and photos of their friends and loved ones hanging on the walls, some they share, some they don’t.
…..
Trevor fully admits it to himself when Christmas rolls up and Belle refuses to go back to New York. 
(“There’s no way I’m leaving you alone for Christmas, Trev,” she insists with an eye roll. “We’ll start our own tradition here. It’ll be great.”)
He doesn’t even try to hide his fondness as he watches Belle teetering at the edge of a chair to hang up lights around their living room. Some random Christmas playlist he had queued up at Belle’s prodding is playing through his speaker, and he doesn’t think “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” deserves the grin plastered on his face. 
Belle, though. She might deserve it. Be the origin of it, really. 
They make too many cookies that they'll have to gift his teammates and her coworkers just so they don’t end up eating all of them. They have holiday movies on in the background for three days straight, some they pay attention to, some they just leave on for background noise. On Christmas morning, after two cups of coffee on Belle’s end to deal with Trevor’s incessant rambling, they’re sat in the front of their tree. The curtains are drawn, offering minimal lighting into their living room. Yet, the twinkling lights on the tree and around their living room paint Belle in the warmest of lights. The blue fluffy blanket wrapped around her shoulders only adds to her softness and Trevor has to excuse himself after they exchange presents to go in the bathroom. 
He splashes cold water in his face and stares at himself. He’s fully in fucking love. Shit. 
…..
After that realization, he does the only thing that makes sense to him. Two days later, on the way to practice, he calls Jack. As the phone rings, he thinks that he probably should’ve checked to see if the Devils were playing today, but he also couldn’t be bothered. 
Three rings later, Jack’s scratchy voice is projected through Trevor’s car. “Hello?”
“Hey dude.”
“You’re cutting into my pre-game nap. This better be fucking good.”
“I think I’m in love with Belle.”
Silence. A rustle on Jack’s end, before, “Jesus Christ. I knew Amelie should’ve taken the day off today.”
“Jacky,” Trevor practically whines. “Be helpful.”
“Give me a second to think and I will be,” Trevor stops at a light. “Dude. I mean, not completely out of left field. But in love love? That’s big. Considering you only reconnected, what, three months ago?”
“Yeah, I know. Am I being stupid? And I need you to be real with me and tell me if I am.”
“No.”
“I’m not being stupid?”
“No, you’re not being stupid. Z, I knew I wanted to marry Amelie, like, two months after I met her, and we weren’t even dating yet. You and Isabelle have known each other since you were kids.”
“Yeah, but we lost touch for over a decade.”
“Okay and? You spent a good amount of time together when you went back home, right? And she lives with you now, right?”
“She was the only one around at home, and we’ve been living together for maybe a month.”
“Dude, are you trying to convince yourself you are in love with her or that you’re not?”
Trevor shakes his head. “Sorry, sorry. Right.”
He hears Jack let out a sigh. “I know you’ve been burned in the past with relationships and stuff, but this is a good thing, okay? She’s a great person. Try not to freak out about it so much.”
“And do what instead?”
“I don’t know,” Jack says sarcastically. “Maybe tell her?”
“Absolutely not,” Trevor says. 
“Why not?”
Trevor’s about to tell him that Belle literally was supposed to be married a year ago but clamps his mouth shut. He’s not sure if Jack knows and that’s not his story to tell. “It’s just not a good idea.”
“Lame.”
“I’m gonna hang up and call literally anyone else.”
“Do it,” Jack challenges the empty threat, before softening. “Do you have any idea if she likes you back?”
“No,” Trevor says. “But I also haven’t been thinking about that because I don’t wanna…scare her off? I know she likes me as a friend, otherwise we wouldn’t be living together. But that’s probably all there is to it.”
“Maybe,” Jack says. “Or maybe you’re making assumptions. I’m not saying you have to do anything now, but you’re not stupid, Trev. Especially with stuff like this. And hey, at least you’re in love with someone as awesome as she is. Ooh, can you imagine you two getting married? It would be full circle!”
“Alright, that’s enough,” Trevor says as Jack chuckles. “Thanks, man. Seriously.”
“Anytime. And Z?” Trevor hums to tell Jack to go on. “Don’t beat yourself up so much. You don’t know until you ask.”
Those last two sentences echo through Trevor’s head for the rest of the day, even when he’s at practice and going through the drills. After so many years in the league, he usually always can leave his thoughts at the entrance of the rink and just focus on hockey. But not today. He can tell Troy wants to ask something, but he refrains. It’s not like a distracted Trevor appears often, and Trevor’s thankful his teammate doesn’t push. 
When the front door swings open that night and Belle calls out her greeting, Trevor is coming back from being outside the last few hours, where he sat and listened to the birds and just stared at the grass, lost in thought. 
Then Belle comes into view, gray sweater over a cream satin dress, tote bag on her shoulder and a tired but bright smile on her face, and Trevor’s not lost anymore. 
In fact, as she slides over to him in her socks across the hardwood floor and hugs him in greeting, immediately talking about what they should make for dinner tonight, Trevor’s never felt more sure of where he is and where he should be. 
…..
Trevor’s on a long roadie during Valentine’s Day, but he makes sure that he delivers flowers to the house before Belle has to get to work. He had spent an ungodly amount of time selecting which bouquet he wanted to send, and Jamie, the saint that he is, had only blinked when he saw what Trevor was looking at on his phone on the bus home from the game before Trevor could lock his phone. 
Imagine if it was Troy. Or Mason. Or fucking Leo, who’s just as much a menace as he was the first day Trevor met him. Everyone loves him and thinks he’s a darling, but Trevor knows better.
He ended up choosing a bouquet from Fresh Sends because the packaging looks sick with the newspaper and the bright colored box and the reviews are all high. Without hesitation, he had picked the largest bouquet, which he knew if Belle knew how much it cost, would probably kick him out of the house or something. But she doesn’t ever need to find out. On the bus, he had hastily typed out a custom note.
Belle, 
Happy Valentine’s Day!! Wish we could be watching shitty rom-coms together but I hope this makes up for it. Thankful to have you in my life again. See you when I get back!
Z
It’s not overly romantic, but he can’t exactly confess his love for her over a note when he’s across the country. If he ever confesses, he’s gonna tell her in person, not hide behind a note like a coward. 
He wakes up on February 14 in a hotel room with a bleary smile as he wipes the sleep away from his face. 
Belle of The Ball
*picture of the flowers*
Trevor!!! these are so so beautiful thank you
You really didn’t have to
Good luck against the Rangers tonight! And tell your parents (and mine) that i said hello❤️
Trevor nets two goals and an assist. He’s on top of the world. 
…..
He’s pleasantly surprised to see that he has an incoming call from Amelie on his way home from the rink a week later. 
“Well, if it isn’t my favorite Hughes.”
Amelie chuckles. “Quinn’s gonna be devastated.”
“Quinner has nothing on you.”
“Flatterer,” she says dryly. 
“What’s up?”
“Jack told me. About you and Isabelle.”
Trevor almost snorts. When he first met Amelie, way back when they were in their early twenties, she had been way more hesitant on giving her opinion among Jack’s oldest friends. But with time, her sarcasm and vivacity came out, and while Trevor had been initially surprised and amused, it made sense. Anyone who would choose to spend their life with Jack Hughes has to be able to hold their own purely to rival his constant need for attention.
“Did he now?”
“You’re the worst. I’m not gonna tell you the same stuff he did, which by the way, I’m actually pretty impressed by. From the recap he gave me, he actually said some useful stuff. But I will say something that he forgot to tell you.”
“And what is that?”
“That you’re wonderful, Trevor.”
That’s not at all what he was expecting to come out of the photographer’s mouth. All he can muster out is an “Oh?”
“Yeah. And obviously Jack believes the same thing. You know that. But you’re such a lovely guy, Trevor. I’ve known that since the day we met, don’t get me wrong. But I-I’ve talked to Isabelle a few times since the wedding, and she always brings you up. And it’s always positive.”
“What does this have to do with my feelings for her?”
“Do you feel like maybe you feel like you’re not good enough for her? Is that partially why you’re hesitating on telling her? Take out the fact that she was in a long relationship before and broke off an engagement.”
He blinks. “She told you about the engagement thing?”
“Yeah. She came out to Jersey to grab dinner with Jack and I, like, two weeks before she moved to California and told us then. That’s not the point.”
He doesn’t remember Belle mentioning that. But like Amelie said, not the point. “I-I don’t know. Maybe.”
“Trevor. You’re one of the best people I know.”
“That can’t be true,” he tries to protest. 
“But it is,” Amelie presses on. “You’re loyal. You’re funny. You have the ability to make anyone feel comfortable, even if you just met them. Your infectious energy elevates every room you walk into. You care deeply about everyone in your life. You were the first of Jack’s friends to be so openly kind to me and you continued to be kind to me even when I didn’t deserve it.” 
“I’m loud. Harsh. Always has to be on the go or I get bored. Life of the party maybe and a fun time usually, but that’s it.”
Amelie scoffs. “Respectfully, shut the fuck up. Okay, you’re all of those things, so what? You think she doesn’t already know? She probably knows better than any of us. I get being hesitant to do anything because she’s maybe on a different page, I get that. But it’s not because you’re not good enough. Get that shit out of your head.”
Trevor has to laugh, both at the abruptness of this call and unbridled honesty from Amelie’s voice. “I’m not gonna lie. Getting chewed out by my best friend’s wife wasn’t on the list of things I expected today.”
“If you think I’m chewing you out now, you’re lucky Clementine doesn’t know about this yet.”
Trevor actually shudders at the possibility of Clementine Sandoval (well, Clementine Hischier as of two years ago but old habits die hard), lecturing him about this. He still remembers Clem’s lectures she would give Quinn, Jack and Luke when they were all in Michigan. They would usually be over the phone, since she was already out in California for school by then, but even at 17, Trevor knew she wasn’t someone to be messed with. Who else in the world, besides Ellen Weinberg-Hughes, can somehow lecture all three Hughes brothers successfully in one breath?
“She doesn’t?”
“Eh, usually she would. But she’s in her last trimester and Nico would kill me if I stressed her out more.”
And well, Trevor thinks that’s fair enough. He quiets again, thinking. “You think we could be a good match? Belle and I?”
“Yes,” Amelie says with no hesitation. “And I’m not going to tell you why, because I’m pretty sure deep down, you already know.” 
He kinda hates that she’s right. Damn, is he this easy to read? He hangs up, but not before promising to give her a call more often. 
As they’re leaving practice, Jamie nudges him with his shoulder. “How’s Isabelle?”
“She’s good. She has a wedding in Santa Monica this weekend so I haven’t seen her that much this week.” 
“She a good roommate?”
Trevor smirks and elbows him lightly. “Better than you ever were.”
Jamie’s jaw drops, indignant. “Hey! I was a great roommate, thank you very much.”
“You were, you were. Nah, she’s great. We did Christmas just the two of us and it was really nice.”
“Just the two of you?”
“Fuck off, Jimmy.”
“I’m just asking! She chose not to fly home and stayed here with you instead. Ever think about what that could mean?”
Trevor has thought about it a lot recently, actually. But Jamie doesn’t need to know that. He lets out an uncommitted noise, but the look on Jamie’s face tells him that he’s not fooling anyone. Least of all, one of his dearest friends. 
Trevor needs to tell her soon. Or get over it. 
…..
Trevor never thought to really ask Belle if she wanted to go to a game, which is weird, because why wouldn’t he want a friend out in the stands to cheer him on? But he also knows that Belle wouldn’t be afraid to just ask if she wanted to go, and that her ideal time to unwind after work isn’t necessarily to go into a rowdy arena. She’s perfectly content snuggling in on the couch and watching the game on TV.
But when he mentions that Cole and the Canadiens are coming into town to play, she perks up. During the whole wedding weekend, Trevor could tell that she got pretty comfortable with Cole. Which, to Trevor, makes complete sense. Cole has the ability to make friends quickly and genuinely anywhere he goes. He leaves a ticket on the counter before heading to morning skate, as well as a note allowing her permission to raid his closet for any Ducks merch she so desires to wear. 
The game is a fun battle that goes into OT, but Leo gets the game winner with an assist from Trevor and the Honda Center goes nuts. Trevor has plans to grab dinner with Cole and Belle, and he’s in good spirits during media before he meets up with Cole and goes outside to where he told Belle to meet them. 
The boys see her before she sees them. Belle’s leaning against the wall of the arena on her phone, one of his jerseys tucked into black jeans and a black blazer completing the look. Cole calls out her name and she immediately puts her phone away with a smile, letting Cole hug her tightly with a chuckle. Trevor trails behind, watching the scene in happiness. Trevor tells Belle where he made dinner reservations, and she gets into her own car to follow them. 
As Trevor watches Cole and Belle talk at dinner, it’s overwhelming, his love for her. Cole’s pulling out some old-school stories from way back during their program days and Belle’s absolutely loving it, pulling out some of her own stories from her college days and Trevor feels so fucking lucky. There’s a particular thing that Cole says that has her coughing up her water and she’s laughing so hard and Trevor feels so fucking fond. 
Tomorrow, he promises himself. He has to tell her tomorrow.
…..
He doesn’t tell her tomorrow. But in his defense, he has to go on a road trip and she’s busy at work. 
Somehow, after dinner with Cole, he had gone to sleep earlier than she did but had woken up before her to a short but sweet note on the kitchen counter. In her cursive, he smiles at her words. 
Trev, 
Thank you for dinner and a fun game <3 Wanted to tell you tonight but by the time I got out of the bathroom you were already in bed (old man). Good luck on your road trip to wherever!! 
Love, 
Belle
He takes the note and folds it carefully, tucking it into his wallet. 
…..
At the end of the day, he ends up just blurting it out. 
He comes home from the road trip to the smell of something absolutely delicious floating through the house. He peeks his head around the corner to see Belle flittering around the kitchen, stirring something in a pot. The oven beeps and Trevor decides to make his presence known. 
“Smells good in here.”
Belle looks over her shoulder and he realizes she’s wearing one of his Ducks hoodies he must’ve had lying around. She beams. “Hey! Welcome home. I felt like making some good old grilled cheese and tomato soup with some roasted vegetables because I guess we need those. Don’t tell your coaches if this fucks up your diet-”
“I love you.” 
And well, shit, because that’s definitely not how he pictured this going. For a split second, he thinks he imagined it. But Belle freezes, her back towards him, and he has no idea what to do.
After what seems like a lifetime, she turns off the stove and turns around. “What?”
Trevor walks forward, “I love you. I’m in love with you. And I know you probably don’t feel the same way and that’s okay! I really don’t want this to change anything between us because I love our friendship. But I-I had to say it because it’s driving me crazy not saying it.”
“Trevor-”
“I know. I know. I’m sorry. Y-you’re such an important part of my life and I really hope this didn’t fuck everything up-”
Belle rushes towards him to put her hands on his shoulders, steadying him. He forces himself to take a deep breath and to stop his hands from shaking, staring at his feet. He’s breathing really fast, but Belle’s orange blossom perfume and touch calms him down ever so slightly. 
“You good?”
He swallows roughly. “Yeah, yeah. Sorry.”
“You don’t need to apologize,” she says softly. He gets the courage to look at her face. He sees her smile and he can’t help but smile too. She clears her throat. “I-I thought it was clear, but I guess I’m out of practice. I feel the same way, Trevor. I like you a lot. Maybe not…love. Yet. B-but you’ve become my favorite person. And these last few months have been so…lovely. I just-I haven’t said anything because I don’t know if I’m ready yet.”
“That’s okay,” Trevor rushes to assure. Because holy shit, she likes him back? This was farther than he thought he was going to get. He chuckles lightly. “I…shit. Sorry. I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact you like me like that.”
“Trevor,” she trails her hands down his arms to grab both of his hands. “Of course I do.”
“Oh,” he says softly. 
Belle’s eyes water, and Trevor immediately feels the surge to make her feel better. “But I don’t know if I’m ready, Trev. I don’t know when I will be. And I can’t be the asshole and ask you to wait.”
“Why not?” Trevor challenges.
Belle looks at him incredulously. “Because that’s unfair.”
“Well too bad. Because I’m not gonna listen to you.”
“What?”
“As long as you need. Take your time. I mean it. And when you’re ready, I’ll be here. I promise.”
She bites her lip, “Trevor, you can’t possibly promise something like that.”
“I can, actually. And I will.”
She opens her mouth, then closes it, before laughing. She squeezes her eyes shut as he places his hands on her cheeks to cup her face. “Okay.”
He raises an eyebrow playfully. “You’re not gonna fight me?”
She shakes her head. “You’ve never been the kind of person to back down.”
He laughs and he so wants to kiss her. But he doesn’t, instead just placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. “You’ll let me know when you’re ready?”
“If you’re still around,” she jokes. 
Trevor grins, his heart growing four times its size. He feels like it might explode out of his chest. “I’ll always be around for you.”
217 notes · View notes
slytherheign · 1 year ago
Text
DAYLIGHT | charles leclerc
PART 2/3 OF LOVER: THE TRILOGY.
PAIRING: charles leclerc x fem!reader
WORD COUNT: 1.4k
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SUMMARY: amidst the dark nights, you find that one glimmer of hope—the light that shines and the one who stays. it’s morning now, and you only see daylight.
WARNINGS: angst, hate, cheating (past relationship), doubts, and hints of smut. let me know if i missed any warnings. [⚠︎︎RATING: G]
AUTHOR’S NOTE: inspired by taylor swift’s song with the same title. dedicated to @paperplane93, i hope you’re having a great day!
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DESTINATION: Sweet Street | GO TO TRILOGY MASTERLIST or GO BACK TO THE STATION.
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Love was as cruel as the cities you lived in.
It was a journey you'd been on countless times before, but each time, it seemed to slip through your fingers like sand, leaving you feeling like shattered glass. Past relationships have taught you bittersweet lessons, dousing the flames of hope and leaving behind a trail of broken dreams.
Everyone looked worse in the light—everyone, including you. The town’s kind, innocent, smart, pretty little girl who turned into a rebel once she packed her bags, left the door, and stepped into the light given by the outside.
There were so many lines you have crossed unforgiven. You left everything behind and never looked back as if you didn’t care. Your old friends and your family have finally called, you answered them but once they said what they wanted to say, you ended the calls and blocked them all. The conversation was always the same anyway—them trying to convince you to come back and warning you that what you were doing would lead to failure.
There was also someone you loved before Charles, someone you loved truly and sacrificed a lot for. It didn’t end well when you saw him kissing your old best friend. He apologized and begged for your forgiveness, and because you loved him so much, you gave him another chance. It took you a long while to realize he was blinding you with lies. When you caught him cheating again, you ran away, never to turn back to him ever again. The luck of the draw only draws the unlucky. And so, you became the butt of the joke.
You were mocked for your naive gambles, ridiculed for your missteps, and left with a haunting regret that you wounded the good and trusted the wicked. It seemed as though every step you took to clear the air, to make things right, only lured you further into the haze of smoke, choking you with the consequences of your choices. You have moved on from your past, never wanting to remember it again. The only thing you took with you were the memories and lessons of your mother you held dear. Your mother would be so mad if she knew you were choosing to forget where you came from, but it was what you needed to do if you wanted to be free. In clearing the air, you breathed in the smoke.
You believed that love was a journey, a rollercoaster of emotions, where the highs were exhilarating and the lows were heart-wrenching. But as time passed, the uncertainties crept in, weaving doubts within your mind like persistent cobwebs. You began to question if love was nothing more than a shimmering illusion teasing you from a distance.
You've mourned over shattered hopes and dreams, clinging to the emotional debris of past relationships. Each heartbreak left you more hesitant, more fearful of falling again. You became convinced that love was a game of chance, an unwinnable lottery that mocked your attempts at finding happiness.
But then, just when you had resigned yourself to a life of solitude, someone unexpectedly entered your life. His name was Charles, and he carried a light that danced within his eyes—a light that you hadn't seen in years.
You didn't want to look at anything else now that you saw him.
His presence illuminated the shadows within you—dissolving your doubts and fears. He saw beyond your scars and unraveled the tapestry of your soul. His patience and understanding breathed life into your broken spirit, assuring you that love could be different this time.
Slowly but surely, Charles guided you through the remnants of past hurt, showing you that vulnerability wasn't synonymous with weakness. Together, you wove a delicate tapestry of trust, honesty, and shared dreams. With each passing day, the walls you had built around your heart crumbled and exposed your true self to him.
In his arms, you discovered a love that was both gentle and fierce, a love that healed past wounds and ignited a sense of hope within you. He listened, truly listened, to the tremors of your heart, and matched them with his own desires. Your love wasn't perfect—no love ever was—but it was real and authentic.
You didn't want to think of anything else now that you thought of him.
With Charles, the idea of true love shifted in your mind. It was no longer an unattainable fantasy but a tangible reality—a reality that blossomed when two souls found solace in each other's embrace. He reminded you that your worthiness of love wasn't determined by your past failures but by the relentless hope you held within.
Through him, you learned that true love isn't a fluke or a mere stroke of luck. It was a conscious choice, an endless commitment to nurture and cherish a connection beyond what society deemed acceptable. 
You'd been sleeping so long in a 20-year dark night.
In the past, you've allowed your vision to become clouded by the remnants of failed connections and relationships. You wandered the murky path of love with blinders on, seeking validation and approval from old friends and family. You desperately tried to fit into molds that suffocated you.
And now you saw daylight.
With Charles, everything felt different. His arrival into your life was like the first rays of sunlight after a long and relentless storm. You realized that all the heartbreaks and disappointments were not indicators of your worth. They were simply stepping stones, guiding you towards something that rose above anything you've ever experienced.
You've stormed out of every single room in your old town, left it without even saying goodbye. And you knew he wasn't perfect too. He had a past full of pain and losses. He made his career his focus, because every time he was racing, the voices in his head were drowned out by the noise of his car. He ran with the wolves and refused to settle down. 
You found solace, understanding, and acceptance with each other. The dark nights were over the moment you found him and he found you. You threw out your cloaks and your daggers because it was morning now. It was brighter now.
You were laughing so hard as Charles tickled your stomach. He pressed kisses to your neck down to your chest to where your heart was. He looked up at you, his eyes full of love and desire.
“Can I have you tonight, chérie?” he asked.
You nodded, eyes mirroring the desire in his. “You can have me any day and any night.”
You could see it all.
All of him, all of you, intertwined.
You once believed love would be black and white.
But it was golden.
“I love you,” he said in between his breaths. His forehead touched yours, a hand caressing your cheek as you both danced to a rhythm of love. 
You opened your eyes to stare at his. “I love you too, Charles.”
You could see it all in your head.
Back and forth from Monaco, sneaking into his bed.
You once believed love would be burning red.
But it was golden like daylight.
It was morning now. It was brighter, it was better, and it was worth the 20-year dark night you experienced before. You were learning and growing together. He defined you by the things you loved, not by the things you were afraid of or the things that haunted you in the middle of the night. For him, you were what you loved.
You were only seeing daylight.
And it was him.
It was Charles.
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charles_leclerc
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liked by yourusername, pierregasly, carlossainz55, and 998, 753 others
charles_leclerc Happy 2nd year anniversary, my daylight. @yourusername
view all 267, 890 comments
pierregasly a hard launch, finally
leclercsainz HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN PIERRE
pierregasly a couple months after they met
leclercsainz WHAT
cl16lover I JUST WOKE UP HELP
redleclerc NO CAUSE SAME
chilisainz CHARLES HARD LAUNCHING A SECRET 2 YEAR RELATIONSHIP WAS NOT ON MY 2023 BINGO CARD
forzaferrari i’m more surprised he was able to keep a secret this long tbh
chewie1644 MY DAYLIGHT EXCUSE ME GOODBYE
chilisainz fr i need someone to call me their daylight too
c2defender WHO IS THE GIRL
leclover someone on twitter posted a thread about her and it’s not looking good, yikes
c2defender omg why?
leclover apparently she abandoned her family or something
lestappensz yall should check the twitter thread about her
carlossaints drop the @ bestie
lestappensz i think it’s @charlesleclairs
simplylovely stop we don’t even know if any of those things are true
lestappensz girl i’m pretty sure her brother commented and confirmed everything was true
charlesleclairs LEAVE HER BEFORE SHE LEAVES YOU LIKE SHE LEFT HER FAMILY
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You stepped into the daylight and let it all go.
The sky was painted with hues of hope, and your hearts were filled with a newfound understanding.
You just hoped the afterglow would be the same.
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SLYTHERHEIGN TAGLIST: @writingstoraes @joshiiieeenesx
FORMULA ONE TAGLIST: @dreamingofautopia @lpab @matildrry @fangirl125reader @tall-tanned-tattoo @aundercover @stevesworld9 @princessria127
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192 notes · View notes
bateman-whore · 7 months ago
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Hiiii, I was wondering if you could write a fic where Patrick sees someone get a little too close to reader and murders him? 🔪🩸🫶
You belong with me
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(Sorry for the Taylor Swift reference, Im not a swifty but it’s one of the few songs I can stand and I didn’t know what to title this lol, TW: murder, Patrick being Patrick)
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Your pov
I sat at my desk, mindlessly typing away at my computer. I wanted nothing more than to get the day over with but the minute passed like hours. As I attempt to finish the paragraph, I hear a knock on my office door.
“Yep” I called out as the door opened, it was Paul.
“Hey y/n, how are you doing?” He asked, taking a seat in front of me.
“Meh, I just want to go home. It’s been a long day,” I laughed with my face in my hands.
“Oh I hear ya,” he says, flashing a grin, his teeth seemed a little too big for his mouth. “Now I was going to ask you if you wanted to go out tonight?” The question was accompanied by another big tooth grin.
“Listen, I would love to but-“ I was cut off.
“Oh come on like you have anything to do after work, pick you up at seven, yeah?” It wasn’t a question. He got up and started for the door.
“Paul I-“
“See ya!” And with that he closed the door behind him.
Before I could process what just happened, there was another knock on the door.
“Yep,” I called out again but instead of Paul, Patrick walked in. He sat down across from me and put his feet up on my desk. “Yes?”
“You and Allen seem to be getting close?” This was more of a statement rather than a question.
“I mean I guess, what does it matter to you?”
“It doesn’t,” he said plainly and got up and left my office.
Patrick’s POV
I don’t know why but it does matter to me. For some reason I can’t live with the thought of Paul being so close to y/n,
“Hey Paul,” I leaned up against his cubicle walls, I took note of them, “nice set up you got there.” I picked up what seemed to be a family photo and examined it.
“Uh thanks I guess,” he took the photo out of my hands and placed it face down on his desk.
“God I can’t remember the last time I sat in a cubicle let alone worked in one,” I let out a laugh.
“What do you want?”
“I was wondering if you could stop by my place-“
“Nu uh uh uh, can’t. I got a date with y/n tonight,” he interrupted.
God he really has a problem with interrupting
“Yeah yeah, I’m sure you do, look it’s about your report, there’s something I need you to change.”
“Why can’t we talk about it right now?” He asked, confused.
“Because how can we discuss work matters without a drink or two?”
“I guess, as long as you make it fast,” he finally gave in.
Later that night, there was a knock on the door. When I opened it, it was Paul.
“Ah Paul come in, come in,” I stepped aside to let him in.
“Thanks for inviting me, but really we have to make it fast. I’m supposed to pick up y/n in 45 minutes,” he walked in taking his coat off, “are you renovating?” He asked taking note of the plastic sheets that cover every part of my living room.
“Sure. Can I get you a drink Paul? You look like an old fashion kind of guy.”
“Uh sure.”
I walked to the kitchen and poured him his drink, but before I went back to the living room, I crushed up a handful of downers and dissolved them in his drink.
“Do you like Huey Lewis and The News?” I asked him.
“There ok i guess,” he replied, taking a drink.
“Their early work was a little too new wave for my tastes, but when Sports came out in '83, I think they really came into their own, commercially and artistically. The whole album has a clear, crisp sound, and a new sheen of consummate professionalism that really gives the songs a big boost. He's been compared to Elvis Costello, but I think Huey has a far more bitter, cynical sense of humor.” I started to ramble as I popped a CD in the player.
“Hey Halberstram.” I could tell Paul’s speech was beginning to slur. The drugs were taking effect.
“Yes Allen?”
“Why are there copies of the style section all over the place, d-do you have a dog? A little chow or something?”
“No, Allen.” I was in the kitchen at this point pulling on a raincoat. My ax was hidden behind the door frame.
“Is that a raincoat?” Allen laughed.
“ Yes it is! In '87, Huey released this, Fore, their most accomplished album. I think their undisputed masterpiece is "Hip to be Square", a song so catchy, most people probably don't listen to the lyrics. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity, and the importance of trends, it's also a personal statement about the band itself,” I took the ax and walked up behind Allen. I raised it above my head, “Hey Paul!”
He looked behind him at me as the ax came crashing down into his face. Blood splattered all over my face and body.
“TRY TAKING Y/N ON A DATE NOW, YOU FUCKING STUPID BASTARD! YOU, FUCKING BASTARD!”
I caught my breath and regained my composure. I cleaned up the scene, took a shower, did my skin care, and went to bed.
Part 2??? I’ll probably do a part two. Sorry if it’s not entirely accurate yk, I need to rewatch the movie. If you have a request my inbox is open and as always the gif and divider are not mine.
Mastearlist
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arkhamknightz · 1 year ago
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WHEN WALLY FALLS IN LOVE
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pairing : wally west x superhero!reader
summary/ask: “would you be ok writing something fluffy-domestic with a gender neutral/ non-binary superhero reader? Like what they like to do together when they're at home or at the other's appartment? I personally think Wally's a huge romantic guy and that he'd love to have someone who's also very into that. Not like big/expensive demonstration of love, but more subtle/little things but very meaningful. (I would love to quote poems to that handsome and lovely redhead hahaha)”
warnings: title based off of “when emma falls in love” by taylor swift (sorry i have a song title theme going on at the moment idk why its just so cutesy to me so sorry)
notes: i hope i did this justice.. i kinda just found a poem off the internet?:?/? i dont know of many poems so i hope thats okay, i tried to incorporate like small gestures like the sidewalk rule and having your partners things all over your space if that makes sense? anywho i hope this lives up to expectations :’)
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It was no secret Wally loved to flirt, even as your current boyfriend. He had an arm draped around your shoulder as you both walked down the street into your apartment. Nothing important had been going on for the last day, so you both decided to stay over at his apartment at take advantage of it.
He looked over at you and smiled, making sure he stayed between you and the street as you guys made your way to his building. A pair of headphones were being shared between the both of you, a wired earbud dangling from your ears as you walked close together. Wally claimed listening to music sounded better with his wired earbuds, although you knew it was so he had an excuse to be closer to you.
He opened the door for you as you reached the apartment building. Your hands intertwined as he walked you both to the elevator, you pressed your finger on his floor number and out of the corner of your eye, you see a smile take over his face. No matter how long you’ve both been dating, he loves you just as much as the day before. He knew the floor of his apartment wasn’t crazy information. But, you had clicked it without thinking twice. It made his heart flutter.
As you both made it into his apartment, you kicked your shoes off right next to his and jumped on his couch, grabbing your favorite blanket. The smile on his face hadn’t left, Wally completely infatuated by you. You knew to kick off your shoes without a single thought, and your favorite blanket being on the couch of his place filled his heart with so much love.
He walked up behind you, leaning over the couch to wrap his arms around you and kiss your head softly. “I love you.” You turned around to look at him, a smile across your face as you gave him a small kiss. “I love you too!”
He pulled away to walk to his kitchen, a shelf in the pantry completely dedicated to your favorite foods, snacks and drinks. You had a designated area in every room of his apartment. Your side of the bed where your bedside table was littered with little trinkets and a book you had been reading out loud for the both of you before going to sleep. You had your section of the shower and the sink, part of his closet and dressers, storage area under his bed for your suit and any other things you may wanna leave over.
He grabs a new snacks for the both of you before sitting next to you on the couch. You pick up the other half of your blanket, placing it over his legs with a smile on your face as he sets the snacks down on the coffee table. He hands you the remote as you log into his streaming services, clicking on his profile before settling on a movie you both had talked about wanting to watch.
He looked around, a smile on his face as he knew both of your apartments were crawling with each others items. He even made sure any of your favorite foods that needed to be frozen or kept in the fridge was in your own area so he remembered not to eat them. Wally made sure to keep his apartment stocked for you, checking each area every week before grocery shopping to see what he needed to stock up on for you.
You consumed his every thought, he was so helplessly in love with you. Everything he did in his day to day life made him think of you. Out on a mission and he speeds by some flowers? He makes a mental note to bring you a new bouquet or pick some of the ones he saw on the way back home. Going to the store? He keeps an eye out for anything else you may want, like a plushie or a new snack he think you would enjoy.
He sees a dog out on a walk outside? He’s snapping a photo to send to you or tells you about it once you both get back home. It’s no secret Wally’s scared to loose you. What you both do is dangerous, so he makes sure to appreciate every little thing about you, even the things that remind him of you deserved to be appreciated.
You both sat in silence watching the movie, no words needing to be spoken between the both of you as you sat cuddled on his couch. You were practically sitting on his lap, both of his arms were wrapped around you, his body chest against your back as he rested his chin on your shoulder.
His hand soothingly rubbed against your skin, an occasional kiss was landed on your neck as you watched together. There was nothing you appreciated more than Wally’s small gestures of love. He planned every date with as much effort as your first, your vase of flowers that you kept in your apartment hadn’t been left empty since you both met. Even while on long missions he made sure you somehow got your flowers.
By the time the sun had started to set, Wally brought you both up to his apartment buildings rooftop, a place that you both commonly hung out at together. A small poem book was held in your hand as you both sat against the wall, your head instantly landing on his shoulder.
You opened to a random page, a small smile gracing your features as you looked at the sky, then at your boyfriend who had a wide grin on his face. You took a look back down at the floor before beginning to read.
“I love your hands. They are big hands, firm hands, gentle hands. Hair grows on the back near the wrist, I have seen the nails broken and stained from hard work. And yet when you touch me, I grow small… and quiet… and happy. If I might only grow small enough, to curl up into the hollow of your palm. Your left palm, curl up, lie close, and cling, so that I might know myself always there.. even if you forgot.”
He smiled, a small chuckle leaving his mouth. “If we don’t get married one day I’m gonna be so pissed off.” You smiled at him, a laugh escaping from your lips. “Really? Like how pissed off scale from 1-10” He pretended to think for a moment. “100” “That wasn’t an option.” “I know but 10 wasn’t big enough to prove how upset I would be.”
He looked over at you with a smile. He always seemed to be smiling while he was around you, huh? A single look at him and anyone could see how in love he is with you. Coming up on the rooftop and reading a page out of a small poetry book he had gotten you was a nightly tradition. No matter what time it was, before settling down, no matter where you were, the small booklet was brought out for a page reading.
The red haired boy took a look at you, the sunsets remaining light making you glow. You both stood up after spending a few more minutes outside quietly speaking to each other. You both walked hand in hand back to his apartment, kicking off your slides before changing and hopping into his bed.
He walked in behind you after a few minutes, your favorite coffee mug in his hand. “Got you a drink.” He smiled at you, a small kiss being placed on his cheek as he placed it on your bedside table. “Mm gonna go shower and get changed alright?” He looked at you, a soft expression painted on his face.
You looked up at him and smiled brightly, eyes full of love as you nodded and gave him one last kiss. “Mmkay, just don’t take too long” He let out a soft chuckle. “I won’t, I promise.” He took one last glance at you before leaving to walk into the bathroom, a small grin and a light blush was left on your face. Wallace West is completely and utterly in love with you. And he knew that would never change.
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taschamonnii · 1 year ago
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Enchanted
You x Wanda Maximoff (MCU WandaVision - Elizabeth Olsen) 
Angst/Smut
Summary: Enchanted strap because Wanda wants babies. There is still a plot and big sad energy because I have many issues. You get a back story so that things matter more and hit harder. Yes I am ridiculously adding feelings to some weird smut. 
TW: SMUT, 18+, Enchanted Strap, Impregnating, GP!
Here is the title song: Enchanted By Taylor Swift 
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AN: I don’t want to talk about it. We are all going to hell and I am just dragging you all along with me lol I just have been seeing a lot of GP! With Wanda but most of the time it is Wanda with the GP! & I thought about how much she craves a family and got a weird idea. What can I say? My brain is a strange place. I really hope you all like it I surprised myself and really enjoyed writing it. I may want to write more of it but I just don't know if anyone else wants to see it.
Before you say anything just look at her and tell me you wouldn't do anything she asked!
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Word Count: 2,632 
Imagine This:
You are married to Wanda Maximoff. You both escaped the hero and villain scene after a close call. Wanda refused to lose you like she had lost everyone else she loved. You live in a cabin in the woods that is at the edge of a small town. You live a normal life. Well as normal as you can be with a witch as a wife and your own powers of hypersensitivity and mind reading. You both were part of the Avengers for a while. You were there after she had already lost Pietro. But you witnessed first hand losing Vision. 
You were friends, all the avengers cared for each other that is what made you a team. However, you had a crush on Wanda the instant you saw her but you were always on different missions and Natasha told you her and Vision were a thing so you pushed your crush aside. You didn’t have time for it anyway Natasha was training you on basically everything and she consumed most of your time. Nevertheless, you became close friends with Wanda and Vision because Nat really cared for Wanda.
You may or may not have had a fling with Nat but it was supposed to be strictly physical even though half the time it ended up being cuddling. Things all changed when that ugly purple asshole came to earth and fucked everything. You had arrived with Nat to try and help even though your powers are practically useless in the battle scenarios. You end up trapped with Nat as Thanos surrounds you both by the earth with a stone. You watch helplessly as everyone tries to fight the Barney looking bastard. Until there is no one left except Wanda who is falling apart as she slowly destroys Vision's mind stone and in turn Vision. You can feel her pain even from where you are trapped. Her thoughts are so loud, it is as if her soul is screaming and crying and it shatters your heart. You watch on as she has to fight off Thanos as she continues to destroy the stone. The flash and force of her destroying the stone blinds you for a moment and when you look again she is on the ground and Thanos is touching her head. You have to watch as he turns back the time and throws her aside as he takes Visions stone. Wanda’s soul only screams louder to you. You watch as people start to turn to dust all around you and you grab Natasha’s hand squeezing it for dear life. You watch Wanda fade into dust into nothing and hear her soul's last strangled cry; it sounds like relief. 
Natascha squeezes your hand harder. You look at her and both fight to escape and manage to get free running right to where Wanda just was. Nat gasps and folds in on herself grabbing at her sister's vest. You catch her before she falls to the ground. You know her sister and all the lives just lost weigh heavy on her. Her soul cries and you hold her thankful you still have her. She is your best friend and honestly all you really have. Especially now. 
You work with Nat and the others that remain to figure out a plan to fix this, to bring everyone back. The plan was good. The plan worked but not without great sacrifice. You didn’t get to time travel, you had your own part to play. You hugged Natasha before she left and you wish you had never let her go, not that you could have stopped her. 
Your mission was to retrieve people who come back if it worked. You went and waited in Wakanda. You brought Wanda and the others back and you consoled her the best you could. You understood the grief you’d lost all your family long ago and this whole thing just brought all that pain back to the surface. Wanda’s grief was the most painful thing you’d ever felt. Well except for the pain and grief you both feel when you return and learn Natasha sacrificed herself.
 You both fell to the floor in a pile holding each other like your lives depended on it because well they did. You stayed practically hooked together barely ever letting go of some kind of physical contact. You share Nats bed and fall asleep crying wrapped up in each other. The team builds on the original plan to destroy Thanos for good. You and Wanda are on autopilot. You both have no one left. Sure there is Clint and the others who care about you both but no one else understands. The night before the epic end-all fight you confess your fears even though you know Wanda can hear them and you can hear hers and they are the same. You are afraid you will lose each other. You decide to voice your locked away feelings and kiss her. 
The kiss is everything, it is life altering and she feels it too. It slows down time. It makes you both gasp for air and cling to each other harder. Like finding the last piece of a puzzle everything suddenly fits and makes sense and you can see a future with her something you’ve both never had the chance to dream of let alone have. 
The battle is epic. Wanda almost kills Thanos all on her own. You think she would have if he hadn’t sabotaged his own soldiers to escape her wrath. You’ve never seen her so angry. You were stationed on a ship with others that didn’t have battle powers. Unfortunately the ship wasn’t a safer place and it got hit. Wanda barely got to you in time as it went down. When she did get to you she didn’t let you go. The way her soul spoke to you refusing to lose you. You locked your gaze on hers and had to fight tears getting lost in her tear filled emerald eyes. A silent promise was made between you. Your souls promise to never let go and never leave the other. 
The battle ended soon after. Tony’s self sacrifice overshadowed everyone else especially Natasha’s and it was the extra solidification for you and Wanda to finally leave this life to go live a peaceful one alone. 
That is how you ended up here in this little cozy cabin in the woods on the outskirts of a precious small town you call home. Happily married to Wanda. It’s been a few years and you both have never known peace like this. She is so happy and you are determined to keep her as happy as possible for the rest of your lives. So when she starts to talk about this aching feeling of missing something you try your hardest to understand. 
She wants a family, a real family with you. She wants babies. More specifically, she wants to be pregnant. Even more specifically she wants you to get her pregnant and that you thought was pretty impossible but you have learned not to underestimate her powers. She wants everything her comforting sitcoms have and she is determined to have it all with you. 
And that is how you have found yourself in this situation. 
You are laying on your shared bed naked and flat on your back. She is naked on her knees in-between your legs. Her gaze is focused and intense; her green eyes map out every inch of you. 
She nibbles on her bottom lip, a nervous habit. "I trust you, Wanda." 
She glances up and meets your gaze, you're confident in her and trust her with your life. She moves to lean over you and lowers her lips to yours, capturing them in a searing kiss. A promise shared to be cautious as you both proceed. She leans back and smiles down at you. "I love you, y/n."
"I love you too, Wanda." 
Her gaze falls between your legs and red illuminates the room as she begins to manipulate reality. You hold yourself up on your elbows to watch completely in awe as a penis forms between your legs. You never thought this would be something you'd want. You admit you'd thought about what it would be like to be a man but never pictured you'd ever be like this. 
Her magic fades and she slowly takes it in her soft hands and fuck her hands are softer than ever as she gently touches it. Touches you. You can feel everything. You can't help the soft sigh that leaves your lips and her gaze shoots up to your face. 
"y/n, are you okay, my sweet girl?" 
You nod "MMMM mmm hmm"
"Can you feel it?"
She runs her slender fingers up to the tip and slides her thumb softly over the slit there. 
"Yes fuck Wanda that feels way too good. I don't know if I will be able to handle being inside you like this. It's so sensitive." 
"I'll go slow." 
You can feel it twitch and move on its own in her hands and as her deep raspy voice surrounds you. God you love her! 
She leans down and you watch in awe as she just ghosts her lips against the tip. It feels like when she teases your clit with soft kisses only 100 times stronger! You can't help the whimper that leaves your lips. 
She smirks and you can hear her thoughts. "I can't wait to taste you!"
"Fuck Wanda!"
She softly licks the tip and you throw your head back with a moan. 
It feels so hard it's almost like it's pulsing like when your clit throbs begging for friction. She reads you and wraps her lips around the tip bringing it into her warm mouth. 
"Fuck Wanda I can't! I'm gonna ah!" 
She sucks gently and flicks her tongue and holds the rest of the shaft in her long slender fingers that you usually love inside of you. It's overwhelming, it's too much and you can't stop your hips from gently bucking. Your hands fist the sheets. 
She sucks harder and squeezes you in her hands and that's it you erupt tumbling over the edge. A sort of plus runs up the shaft as you feel yourself cum and it's intense and weird to feel it shoot out the tip. It's short squirts pulsating. She moans and the vibrations have you whimpering. She sucks the tip dry with a pop and licks her lips. "You taste the same. Absolutely delicious!" 
The way she talks and looks at you while she licks her lips has you twitching for more. You want her more than anything else. You run your hands through her hair and tug her up. You kiss her lips nipping softly at her lower lip. "Sit on my face. I need to taste you." 
She whimpers as she kisses you harder. She moves effortlessly to hover over you and you can see how wet she is. You hold her hips and guide her closer. You latch onto her sucking and flicking your tongue. She moans breathlessly and you can feel yourself getting hard again. You can't get enough of her. You suck harder and she pulls your hair as she rocks her hips. Her legs squeeze around your head and you moan into her, sending her over the edge and making her crumple forward. She pulls away far too quickly but you can see it in her gaze as she slides her wet core against your abs. She leaves a trail down your body and you feel yourself twitch hard. 
You groan as she lowers herself. She runs her slick heat against you and you twitch even more, getting harder she slicks your entire member and lifts herself up. Her gaze is locked on it so she can line herself up and your gaze is locked on her. 
She glances up to check in and you nod before you both glance back down to watch her slick wet heat surround you. She goes slowly. She squeezes you tightly as she lowers herself all the way. You both sigh with relief. 
She lifts back up halfway and slowly goes back down and you have to throw your head back as a moan escapes your throat. She's so wet and as she slowly moves she feels hotter. She bottoms out and just gyrates her hips for a bit and you can feel that you fit perfectly inside her fully. “You hit every spot baby. AH! You feel so good!” 
She leans over you slowly coming down to kiss your lips. The position has you only half inside her and your body reacts needing to be inside her more. You bend your legs and move your hips sliding all the way in. You both moan into the kiss being able to feel so much pleasure with her whole body on top of you breasts pressed together and lips locked is fucking phenomenal! The angle also allows her to match your hips and soon you both find a rhythm that feels far too good. “I can’t do this for long. Wanda your so tigh-FUCK! You feel so GOOD!”
She hums happily against your neck and bites down sucking hard to leave her mark on your neck and it’s too much to have her all over you to feel her blazing skin and sweet sweat and hard nipples. Her hot breath against your skin, her tongue on your pulse all while being inside her tight soaking wet heat. 
You buck your hips out of rhythm and she sits up putting her hands on your breasts as she looks down at you. She smirks and then you feel her tighten around you. You can’t stop the whimper that leaves your lips as she continues to purposely contract around you. You grab her hips hard. She sighs and moans and squeezes your boobs hard as she constricts you and slightly moves her hips up like she is trying to milk you and it works. You erupt even harder than before. Hot strings of your cum shoot inside her and have her coming hard pulsing and contracting around you even harder. She presses her hips down hard holding onto you making sure you fill her up as much as possible. It is a sight to see. Your hands grip her sides harder and she squeezes your breasts harder. Her own nipples are so hard you want them in your mouth desperately. 
Her gaze finally meets yours after you both catch your breath “fuck that was so good baby I feel so full.” 
She leans down and presses her lips to yours and moves her hands to tug your hair. Her hard nipples graze yours and you are so overwhelmingly sensitive that your body jolts and she bites your bottom lip. You whimper as she releases your lip from between her teeth. “Next time will be even better I want to fuck you so many different ways like this Wanda.”
“Mmm you have no idea baby girl I have so many ideas. I love coming with you!”
She sat up and bit her bottom lip before fidgeting with her fingers. You know she wants to ask something but she is blocking you from hearing her thoughts and she is hesitating. You sit up and suppress a groan at the feel of moving at all while still deep inside her. You  caress her cheek softly with concern written on your face. “What is it, love?”
Her gaze locks on to you and your gaze softens. Her emerald eyes are so full of love.
“Would you let me get you pregnant? We could be pregnant together. We could create our family faster.”
AN: Who wants to see Wanda get the reader pregnant in the same way? Should I continue this or was this a horrible idea? 
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spicerackofblorbos · 5 months ago
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It's the dead of summer where I'm at, which means blasting music with my windows down and singing at the top of my lungs!! While I do so, I can't help but feel inspired by the songs on my playlist. So let's make an event about it!!
To keep the pressure off of me, I will be doing drabbles with moodboards based on the character voted on for each song I've chosen - instead of making it a request-like event.
I will be doing one song at a time, and for each song, I will give you a poll with some character options for you to choose from that you would like to see the drabble and moodboard about. All you need to do is go to the poll and vote!! I'll take care of the rest.
Under here will be the list of songs with a few lyrics and a link to the poll associated with it (when it's ready!)
When the fic/moodboard is done, I will link it on the song title!! Make sure to keep an eye out for updates.
(if you would like to be tagged in the fic/drabble, please comment on the poll post. also feel free to add comments in the poll post of what you might want to see with the character you voted, I might add those into the drabble/moodboard!)
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𔓘 Stargazing - The Neighbourhood*
Push until it pops, tryna clear my thoughts Better keep the ac on for me, not enough. Windows start to fog, clothin' coming off Making it too hot, you got me thinking Pull it out of park, put it in drive I can feel your heart beatin’ with mine. Underneath the stars, lookin' for a sign Glowin' in the dark til the sun shines.
character poll
𔓘 Struck By Lightning - Cavetown
It's storming out, maybe you should come inside And tell me why you don't wanna be alive. If you don't respond, I'll put my shoes on And lay down on the pavement next to you If we get struck, at least we'll make the news.
character poll
𔓘 Stupid In Love - MAX ft. HUH YUNJIN
Let's get married in Vegas We don't need guest list I don't wanna think too much Let's get matching tattoos I don't wanna think it through Baby, I'm so stupid in love
character poll
𔓘 Lover - Taylor Swift
Ladies and gentlemen, will you please stand? With every guitar string scar on my hand I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover My heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue All's well that ends well to end up with you Swear to be overdramatic and true to my lover And you'll save all your dirtiest jokes for me And at every table, I'll save you a seat, lover Can I go where you go? Can we always be this close forever and ever?
character poll
𔓘 Enchanted - Taylor Swift
Your eyes whispered, "Have we met?" 'Cross the room your silhouette Starts to make its way to me The playful conversation starts Counter all your quick remarks Like passing notes in secrecy
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𔓘 New Years Day - Taylor Swift
There's glitter on the floor after the party Girls carrying their shoes down in the lobby Candle wax and Polaroids on the hardwood floor You and me from the night before
character poll
𔓘 Labyrinth - Taylor Swift
Uh oh, I'm falling in love Oh no, I'm falling in love again Oh, I'm falling in love I thought the plane was going down How'd you turn it right around
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𔓘 Invisible String - Taylor Swift
And isn't it just so pretty to think All along there was some Invisible string Tying you to me?
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𔓘 Champagne Problems - Taylor Swift
Because I dropped your hand while dancing Left you out there standing Crestfallen on the landing Champagne problems Your mom's ring in your pocket My picture in your wallet Your heart was glass, I dropped it Champagne problems
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𔓘 So High School - Taylor Swift
I'm watching American Pie with you on a Saturday night Your friends are around, so be quiet I'm trying to stifle my sighs 'Cause I feel so high school (I feel so high school) Every time I look at you
character poll
𔓘 Lavender Haze - Taylor Swift
Meet me at midnight Starin' at the ceilin' with you Oh, you don't ever say too much And you don't really read into My melancholia
character poll
𔓘 I Can See You - Taylor Swift
I could see you in your suit and your necktie Passed me a note saying, "Meet me tonight" Then we kiss, and you know I won't ever tell, yeah And I could see you being my addiction You can see me as a secret mission Hide away and I will start behaving myself
character poll
𔓘 Delicate - Taylor Swift*
Third floor on the West Side, me and you Handsome, you're a mansion with a view Do the girls back home touch you like I do? Long night with your hands up in my hair Echoes of your footsteps on the stairs Stay here, honey, I don't wanna share
character poll
𔓘 My Love Mine All Mine - Mitski
My baby, here on earth Showed me what my heart was worth So, when it comes to be my turn Could you shine it down here for her?
character poll
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*asterisk = n.sfw
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laurenairay · 9 months ago
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comes back to me, burning red - F. Andersen
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Summary: Kendra Lee and Freddie Andersen lost touch after he was traded from Anaheim – will a surprise encounter bring back their friendship? And maybe more?
I’m jumping in as a pinch hitter for @misshoneyimhome for @callsign-denmark’s Luck of the Puck fic exchange! I haven’t written about Freddie in a little while so it was fun getting back to him – and thanks for answering all my questions! Such a lovely twist of fate after receiving my own fic from her today.
Flashback sections are in italics.
Words: 7.9k
Warnings: discussion of Freddie’s injuries, light angst, friends to lovers, cheesy flirting
Title from: Red by Taylor Swift
~
“Good morning Kendra Lee!”
Kendra grimaced, shutting the door to her yoga studio behind her, her long blonde hair swinging as she turned.
“Full name, first thing in the morning? What did I do?”
Her colleague and friend, Mimi, just snickered, shaking her head.
“Nothing bad, I promise,” Mimi said, smiling.
“Still ominous,” Kendra mused, swiping her staff card to log her as present in the building, “What’s going on?”
“Okay so you know how you moving over to Raleigh with me a month ago was to give you opportunities to do more yoga rehabilitation work?”
“Yes…?”
It was true, as vague as her friend was being. Having worked across yoga studios California for nearly 11 years, Kendra had jumped at the chance of diving more into rehabilitation work within yoga. Being made co-owner with Mimi and her sister Celeste was just the cherry on top.
“I was staying late last night to finish up the stock check and I got a call – specifically for you to do yoga rehab for an athlete needing conditioning to make his way back to playing. I know it’s right up your street, kind of exactly what you want to do more of, so I said yes.”
“You said yes already?” Kendra asked, surprised.
“I know, I know, but this is a huge opportunity. I said yes, with the caveat that I would double check timings with you this morning and let them know your availability for today,” Mimi explained.
“For today?” Kendra gasped.
“Yes, I know, but the guy organising it all for the athlete was insistent – the athlete chose you, off a list of yoga instructors based on feedback from other clients you had, and that’s huge,” Mimi said, wincing in apology.
Kendra took the time to think over her friend’s words, throwing her long blonde waves up in a twisted bun, her typical work hairstyle.
“You’re right. That is huge. Surprising, but huge. I guess, uh, just see what I’ve got this afternoon? I know I’ve got a couple of classes this morning already,” Kendra eventually said, “including…damn it, one that start in 15 minutes.”
Pregnancy Yoga, affectionately known as Moms who Move. Not women to mess around.
“Alright, you go get set up and I’ll call them back. Thanks, Kendra. And sorry for it being so last minute,” Mimi smiled.
“Hey, it happens. Let’s stay positive with it!” Kendra grinned.
As sudden as the work was, it really was where her heart lay, so this could only be a good thing right? Everything she’d been working towards?
“That’s the spirit I love! Get it girl!”
Kendra just laughed her way into Studio Two, her usual room, ready to make sure her class was set up in time.
By the time the afternoon rolled around, Kendra was pleasantly tired. All three classes had run smoothly so far today and there had been no major hiccups (or incidents) with any of her students. Even the Grooving Grandmas class (the adorable name her group of 12 senior ladies gave themselves) had behaved today, which only left her in a great mood.
So great, she lost track of time, until Mimi poked her head into the room.
“Hey, Kendra, your 2pm is here.”
“Oh damn, the athlete?”
“Yeah that’s the one. I’m just finishing up his intake forms if you want to join us,” Mimi said with a smile.
Kendra smiled back, nodding as she followed her friend out to the front desk. If she was being honest with herself, she would’ve liked a bit more preparation time, or even a name to start with. Hell, even the sport the athlete played in would’ve been useful, so she could start thinking of a program for them. Hopefully the athlete would understand the last minute nature of the set up. Hopefully.
But standing there in the lobby was the last person she expected to see. Just as tall and gorgeous and imposing as she’d last seen him in Anaheim, before he left over 7 years ago. He was her athlete?
“Freddie?”
“It’s been a long time, Kendra,” he murmured, smiling.
“You two know each other?” Mimi said, confused.
~
“How are your teaching hours coming along? You can’t have many left now before the next level, right?”
Kendra smiled up at her boss brightly. After her initial 200 hours training, she knew that teaching yoga was going to be her life’s work, even though she was only 21. Having worked insanely hard over the past two years, she was nearly ready to lead classes all by herself rather than as an assistant, and wasn’t that a heady thought? “No, not many left at all. As of yesterday I actually have 990 hours logged.”
“So you’re nearly ERYT 200?” her boss, James, grinned.
The third level of yoga instructor, after two years and 1000 hours of teaching.
“Just 10 hours left!” Kendra said brightly.
“That’s kind of perfect, if I’m being honest. We’ve been contacted by the Anaheim Ducks to run a conditioning class for a portion of the team. There are 20 players who’ve signed up, and the idea is that those who find it useful will sign up for more classes.”
“20 ice hockey players. My God. Will they take it seriously?”
She’d seen plenty of jocks in her 21 years and she knew exactly how much they goofed around when they didn’t care about things.
“Oh yeah, this is mandatory for these players and I’ll be evaluating them to send it back to their trainers. It’s serious – and it’s a big opportunity for the studio too.”
“Yeah definitely. And it’ll be good to see a different type of client for a change,” Kendra nodded.
“We love our yoga moms, don’t front,” James mused.
Kendra just grinned. She did love her beginner’s yoga mom class, he was right.
“It’ll be a big opportunity for you too, to work with them. If enough sign up, I’d like you to take on at least one for solo instruction the moment you have those 1000 hours done, to give you that experience. But if any of them give you any trouble, you let me know, okay? I won’t stand for it, regardless of who they are.”
“Thanks boss.”
“Any time.”
By the time 11am rolled around, Kendra was nervous. Not a bad nervous though, more like butterflies. She was so closed to her next stage of yoga teaching that she could almost taste it. She just hoped that this giant group of giant men would be a positive experience. They arrived in a herd, filling up the room quickly, and Kendra waited at the front of the room off to the side while her boss waited for them all to be ready.
“Alright, thanks for joining us today. I’m James Fields, owner and lead yoga instructor here, and this is Kendra Lee, who will be running this class alongside me,” he started.
She just grinned at the curious looks sent her way. Let them underestimate her, that was fine.
“As you all know, this class is mandatory and I will be evaluating you for your conditioning staff, so pay attention and we’ll all have a great time.”
Kendra watched a few disgruntled expressions popping up and fought not to laugh. Hockey players. She should’ve known they wouldn’t be any different. As her boss continued to talk, Kendra’s eyes drifted across the room, eventually landing on the man in front of her. Well, man was pushing it – this guy couldn’t be more than a couple of years older than her. A broad-shouldered redhead, pretty face, serious expression taking in her boss’s words. This one was paying attention. This one wanted to learn. Good. Even from here she could tell he would tower over her, although at 5ft2 that wasn’t really a difficult barrier. Maybe 6ft4? Maybe? Either way, this guy was going to be a good student, she could already tell.
As if he could sense his eyes on her, the man glanced over, catching her gaze. She froze, a little embarrassed to be caught staring, but he just smiled. Oh what a lovely smile that was. It was all she could do to smile back.
“If you’re all ready then, Kendra will lead you through Sun Salutation to warm up.”
She broke out of her thoughts, waving cheerfully at them all and earning a laugh. “I’ll be gentle, I promise,” she grinned.
~
“Yeah Freddie used to come to classes at my first studio, back in Anaheim about 10ish years ago. It’s been a while,” Kendra nodded, forcing a smile on her face.
Mimi raised an eyebrow but smiled politely at Freddie. “If you head on into Studio Two, Kendra will be right with you. I just need her to sign a form.”
He nodded, following the instructions with a smile sent Kendra’s way, leaving her alone with her colleague.
“Okay what the hell was that?” Mimi asked, wiggling her fingers in the direction Freddie went.
Kendra sighed, hands on hips.
“That was an old friend who I haven’t seen or spoken to in over 7 years. Him coming here out of the blue just threw me off, that’s all.”
“Is he going to be a problem? Because I have no issue with kicking him out if he doesn’t deserve a moment in your company,” Mimi said firmly.
It was times like this that Kendra really loved her friends.
“No, no it’ll be okay. There was no drama, we just drifted out of contact. Sure it sucked, but it was a long time ago? It’ll be fine. Besides, like you said, this is a big opportunity for me to do more with yoga rehab, right?”
Mimi pursed her lips but nodded. “Alright, if you’re sure. But let me know the second that you change your mind, if you need to.”
Kendra just gave her a quick hug, nudging her friend’s hip with her yoga mat, before heading resolutely towards Studio Two.
~
“So you enjoyed the last group class then?”
“I did. Anything to keep my flexibility up as good as it can get, right?”
Kendra just smiled, nodding. “Not that you seemed to have a problem with your flexibility.”
“Well I certainly haven’t had any complaints.”
He froze the moment the words left his lips, looking mortified. It was all she could do to burst into laughter at the horror on his face.
“I am so sorry. That was so unprofessional,” he groaned.
“Honestly, I don’t think I’ve laughed so hard since I’ve started here,” she said, still giggling, “You have nothing to worry about Mr Andersen.”
“Please, call me Freddie?” he asked, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly as his cheeks flamed red.
“Sure thing. Now let’s talk solo session scheduling – what works best for you?”
~
Kendra took a shaky breath as the memories of her first solo yoga session with Freddie washed over her, before steeling herself, pushing open the studio door. Freddie was sitting cross-legged in the middle of the floor on the mat he’d brought with him, and immediately smiled up at her, loosening a bit of tension in her chest. She could do this. She could totally do this.
“Hey, Freddie,” she said, unrolling her own mat.
“Hey Kendra. It’s good to see you,” he replied as she sat down opposite him.
“Good to see you too. I won’t say it isn’t a surprise because that would be a lie, but it is good to see you after all these years.”
Freddie winced a little, making her grimace inside. Was that too much?
“About that…”
He trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck, so Kendra quickly shook her head. Their past wasn’t what this was all about, and it would do neither of them any good to hash it up now.
“You’re here now,” she said firmly, “So, yoga rehab. Do you know much about what it entails or if there’s anything your team specifically wants?”
“Uh, I only know the basics really. Obviously I’ve done it a lot before for conditioning, which is what my trainer said this mostly will be as my injury was a blood clotting issue rather than muscles or joints?”
Blood clots. Damn. And for someone only in their 30s?
“That must’ve been really scary,” she murmured.
His eyes widened a little in surprise, but he nodded, smiling sadly. “I genuinely thought my career was over. I’ve been out for stretches of time before, but never for anything like this. I felt…helpless,” he admitted.
She could only guess he was being so vulnerable because of their history but she still appreciated his honesty. It can’t have been easy to admit such a thing.
“I can imagine you would, yeah. But the team are figuring it out, right? They wouldn’t be signing you up for yoga rehab if they didn’t have a plan in place?” Kendra said, trying to be positive.
“Yeah, yeah you’re right. They’ve tried a few things and they seem to be happy with the results anyway – they’re looking at about a month if all goes well,” Freddie nodded.
“That’s fantastic. I’m glad I’ll be able to help you get back to where you need to be. I’ll do a bunch of research after today, to make sure I’m not pushing you too hard, to make sure I’m doing the best I can for you,” Kendra said, smiling.
One month. One month with a rehabilitation she’d never come across before. This was the exact kind of challenge she wanted – and it would be with Freddie?
“I know you will, Kendra. I trust you completely. I just…”
He trailed off, chewing his bottom lip, his hesitation making her chest ache.
“What is it?” she prompted, trying to be gentle.
“I don’t want this to be it. I’m not ready for my career to be over. I still want, no, need to prove myself,” he said softly.
“Your talent and reputation precede you, Freddie. Everything that you’ve achieved with the Leafs and now with the Canes? How beloved you are by teammates and fans? You prove yourself, every day.”
“You’ve followed my career?” he asked, clearly surprised.
To be fair, she didn’t think she would’ve been able to keep following him after he left Anaheim, but it was Freddie.
“How could I not? We were friends,” she shrugged, trying to keep her voice light.
A wave of sadness washed over Freddie’s expression, making her heart clench in her chest, but before he could speak, Kendra cleared her throat.
“You’ve got this, Freddie Andersen. We’re going to get you back to where you need to be, and you’re going to kick metaphorical ass. Maybe even literal ass if you need to,” she said firmly.
Freddie managed a small smile, nodding.
“Let’s do this then.”
~
“Hey, Kendra. Thanks for today. I really enjoyed the session.”
She looked up at Freddie as she took her hair out of the twisted bun she put it in for working, letting her hair cascade down her back in blonde waves.
“You don’t have to thank me every time, you know,” she mused.
After that fateful first group class, Freddie has eagerly signed on for more conditioning classes at her studio, and her boss had happily signed him on as her first solo yoga client the moment she reached her 1000 hours milestone. It had been intimidating, if she was being honest, but she was thriving under her own steam, leading all on her own. It didn’t hurt that Freddie was a willing student, keen to increase his flexibility and core strength. And it didn’t hurt that he was absolutely gorgeous either – but that was just for her own thoughts.
“I want to thank you though. The team, management in particular, are really noticing the work I’ve put in as full-time backup, and that’s all down to you,” Freddie said with a shrug and a smile.
“Well in that case, gold star for me,” she grinned.
Freddie barked out a surprised laugh, making her giggle as she rolled up her mat.
“Did you, uh…do you have any more classes now?” he asked, awkward enough for her to pay attention.
“No, you were my last of the day. Why?”
“There’s a new smoothie bar that’s opened up down the road and I was going to go after this – if you want, come with me? I’d love to learn more about how you got into yoga instruction so young,” he said hopefully.
Kendra eyed him for a moment, trying to read any implications or anything untoward in his words. The last thing she wanted was to give off the wrong impression, especially in her first adult job, but Freddie just looked so genuine that she couldn’t help but to smile. A friend couldn’t hurt, right?
“I could go for a smoothie,” she said after a moment or two, nodding.
“Great! Um, I’ll shower, change, and meet you in the lobby?”
“Sounds like a plan,” she mused, “See you soon.”
Within no time at all, Kendra had changed into a cute little cropped lilac sweater and black jeans, leaving her hair down her back to dry in waves. She hadn’t packed any makeup with her, annoyingly, but Freddie saw her all the time without makeup so she guessed it didn’t really matter. Even if she would’ve preferred a dashing of mascara and a swipe of lipgloss. Maybe she’d have to leave a spare of each in her work bag, just in case any future hangouts after work happened.
If today’s smoothie run wasn’t awkward, of course. Damn she hoped it wouldn’t be awkward.
“Ready to go?”
“Let’s do this!” Kendra said cheerfully.
Freddie just smiled down at her, easily towering over her 5ft2 frame with his 6ft4 one – yes she’d looked up his height to be certain, she was curious – opening up the door for her to walk through first.
“Such a gentleman,” she teased.
“I aim to please,” he drawled.
Kendra snorted, immediately covering her face in embarrassment, but Freddie grinned like a cat who got the cream.
“Cute snort,” he smirked.
“Ass,” she shot back, sticking out her tongue to let him know she wasn’t actually mad.
Freddie just laughed, a clear beautiful sound that sent butterflies in her stomach going overdrive. No, this was not the time. Be a professional. Don’t be a giggly idiot. Damn it.
The walk to the smoothie bar couldn’t have taken more than 5 minutes, the two of them staying in a comfortable silence – something that Kendra found difficult with people she’d known for years, so for her to feel such at ease with someone she barely knew? It was strange. Nice, but strange.
“Okay, what’ll it be?” he asked, looking up at the board, “My treat.”
“Are you sure?” she frowned.
Sure, this was her first job and she’d only been in it a couple of months, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t pay her way.
“Absolutely sure. I insist,” Freddie said firmly.
The intensity in his eyes, warm but solid, made her inhale sharply and nod. If he insisted…
“I’ll have almond milk, pineapple, kale, and mango, with a dash of honey. Thanks, Freddie,” she said, smiling up at him.
He just smiled back down at her, sending those butterflies into overdrive again, stepping forward to repeat her order as well as giving his own. When their smoothies arrived, Freddie walked over to a table in the corner so she followed, sitting down with a happy sigh.
“Oh man that’s good. Thanks for inviting me out,” Kendra said, after taking a sip of her smoothie.
“You’re welcome. It’s nice to actually meet someone near my age that as interested in yoga as I am,” Freddie said simply.
“Yeah? Not too many friends or girlfriends wanting to join you?” she asked, somehow managing to stop herself cringing to hard at the wording of her question.
Freddie just smirked slightly but didn’t call her out, thankfully. “No friends who want to do yoga with me, no. Most the team only do yoga when they absolutely have to. And no girlfriend either.”
“That’s a shame,” she said lightly, ignoring the zing through her body, “Yoga is fun and a great stress-reliever.”
“Is that why you got into it then?”
Kendra relaxed back into her seat, taking another sip of her drink, before starting to talk. Over the next hour, the two of them exchanged life stories, getting to know each other properly. Freddie talked about his career so far in the Danish league, how different and difficult it was to move over to Anaheim in August, how he’s just trying to make his mark now he’s been with down with the AHL team most the season and only up for a week. In turn, Kendra talked about how she’d always lived in California, having moved from her hometown in Santa Monica to Anaheim after meeting her now-boss at a training course, how she’d seen her mom doing yoga with her friends and fallen in love with the flow and peacefulness of it as well as the strength it gave. Talking to Freddie felt like they’d been friends for all her life, something she’d never experienced before, and she could only hope this wasn’t the last time they got to do this. Freddie was special, that was clear as day, and she felt lucky to see this relaxed side of him that she doubted many were privy to.
Eventually though, once their smoothies were finished, they had to leave before they overstayed their welcome, and Freddie walked her back to her car.
“I’m perfectly capable of walking across the parking lot on my own, you know,” she mused, jerking her chin in the direction of his car, all the way on the other side.
“And if some weirdo stalks you to your car when I can prevent that, I’d rather avoid you being alone,” he shrugged.
“Aww are you my knight in shining armour, Mr Andersen?” she teased.
Interestingly, his cheeks dusted with a blush.
“I’ll sweep you off your feet any time you need, Miss Lee,” he smirked.
Kendra just burst out laughing, shaking her head at his banter flirting. Ridiculous guy. This was going to be a fun friendship, she could already tell.
“Give me your number? We can sort out another smoothie run,” Freddie said, smiling.
She ignored those traitorous butterflies and nodded, unlocking her phone and handing it over. It could only be a good thing to have more friends in Anaheim, right?
“You think you can handle seeing me outside of the yoga studio?” she mused.
“Oh I know I can.”
~
Kendra and Freddie settled on three yoga sessions a week for his rehabilitation, 12 in total, to give him the conditioning build up he needed while still taking care to manage his recovery. She’d spent all night after that first meeting researching and planning the best course of movements and flows for him, making it challenging but helpful, eventually dragging herself back to bed at 4am, satisfied that what she’d planned would help him.
With any client, she would want to make sure she was satisfied, but with Freddie? She needed it to. Even after everything, she didn’t want to let him down.
Their first two sessions went well, the first mostly easing Freddie back into the swing of things, assessing where his strengths and weaknesses were, and the second session left Freddie groaning but smiling, happy he was able to push himself. Their third session, which Kendra was preparing for, would be another mild push, nothing extreme but still to see where she would need to adjust any plans.
It was all a process, but one she was enjoying immensely. Not just because of her student.
“Knock knock.”
Kendra jolted out of her thoughts, hand on her heart as Freddie walked into the studio with a grin.
“You are the worst,” she groaned.
“So you don’t want the smoothie I picked up on the way?” he mused.
He brought her a smoothie?
Her lips parted in surprise, but she stuck her hand out anyway, Freddie just laughing as he passed it over. The moment she took a sip, a wave of nostalgia ran over her. All she could think about were the smoothie runs and coffees hangouts and even the occasional lunch they used to go to together. Two and a half years of memories all flooding through her system, and it was all she could do to keep her face calm and neutral as the memories of conversations and vulnerability and laughter swirled through her thoughts. This wasn’t fair. This really wasn’t fair. She wanted to be mad at him for daring to dive back into their past like him leaving meant nothing, but how could she? How could she be mad when those memories still brought her joy?
“Almond milk, pineapple, kale, and mango, with a dash of honey. My favourite. Maybe you’re not the worst. You really remembered this?”
“Of course I did. I loved our smoothie dates,” Freddie nodded, smiling.
Dates?
“Dates?” she said, raising an eyebrow.
“Figure of speech? I don’t speak English?” he offered.
“Yeah nice try, I’m pretty sure your English is better than most people I know,” Kendra mused.
Freddie blushed but laughed.
“How could I forget anything about the girl who got me doing the best Bridge pose of my life, hm?”
She tried valiantly not to think about how good Freddie looked bent over in a backwards arch. Valiantly.
“Alright, but don’t think this means I’ll go easy on you, Freddie,” she said brightly, “We’ve still got a lot of work to do.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it,” he grinned, “Give it to me rough.”
Kendra took a moment, trying to hold in her laughter, before she gave in and cackled.
“Oh man that was so bad, even for you,” she grinned.
“Not my finest, I’ll give you that,” Freddie shrugged, a light blush on his cheeks, “Still made you laugh though.”
Well he wasn’t wrong there.
Kendra sipped on her drink while Freddie laid out his mat, leaving the cup in a safe spot as she moved to stand in front of him.
“As always, let’s start with Sun Salutation,” she grinned.
The next hour flew by. As she promised him, Kendra did push him hard – some of the poses he wasn’t quite ready for, she could see that, at least even for the length of time they were trialling today. His natural flexibility hadn’t left him, that much was obvious, but there was still work to do. At least she could take pride in being part of rehabilitation that would never push him further than he was ready for. His safety, physical and mental, was the most important thing.
But he could do this. She knew that he could do this, and that excited her.
“Alright, that’s us done for today. Thanks, Freddie,” Kendra said softly.
Freddie opened his eyes, practically floating from savasana, face flushed from exertion.
“Thank you, Kendra. I feel awesome. Tired but awesome,” he grinned.
“Not aching too much anywhere?” she asked, standing up gracefully.
Freddie groaned as he stood up, rolling his shoulders as he checked in with himself. Kendra smiled wryly at the action – at least she could trust an athlete to know his own body.
“No, not too much,” he said.
“Are you sure?” she frowned, hands on hips.
“I promise. I know the difference between aching from a good workout to aching from injury and pain. This is good,” Freddie insisted.
Well alrighty then.
“That’s what I like to hear,” Kendra said happily, rolling her neck from side to side to loosen tension, “Take a shower, Andersen, I can smell you from here.”
Freddie barked out a laugh, shaking his head in amusement.
“Care to join me?”
“In your dreams.”
Freddie just smirked, sending a shiver down her spine. There. That was it, the spark she’d been missing for so many years.
“See you on Wednesday?”
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Freddie nodded.
~
From: Freddie I have a return date March 7th
From: Kendra That’s amazing! I told you that you could do it! These last eight sessions have really paid off! Do you feel ready?
From: Freddie As always, I should’ve trusted that you were right lol I think so? My body does for certain
From: Kendra And your mind? If you don’t feel mentally ready, Freddie, please don’t let them push you
From: Freddie Thanks, I appreciate that I think it’s more nerves than not mentally ready? Like, I don’t want to let the team down. And I don’t want critics to call me washed up
From: Kendra You could never let the team down They can see your passion, see how hard you’re working And screw the critics. They don’t know you or your body You are the furthest thing from washed up, so don’t talk about yourself like that
From: Freddie I’ve missed your fire. Yes ma’am
From: Kendra Damn right you have. That’s more like it
From: Freddie Can I still finish off my course of session with you? And maybe carry on for a few more afterwards? Just to make sure I still have that confidence?
From: Kendra As many as you want I’m here for whatever you need
From: Freddie Whatever I need? I like the sound of that
~
“So today’s your last official yoga rehab session with Freddie. How are you feeling?”
“Yeah, it’s all gone really well. It’s been nice reconnecting with him, as well as seeing him grow back into his conditioning and confidence. You were right, Mimi, this was a great idea,” Kendra grinned.
Mimi and Celeste both smiled at her, but the smiles quickly turned hesitant. What? What was wrong?
“Has he said something? Have the Canes said something?” she asked, starting to worry.
Had she done something wrong and he hadn’t had the guts to tell her?
“No, no, god no. Freddie’s had nothing but high praise for you since he got here and I have no doubt he’ll be saying the same to his team,” Celeste said quickly.
“He talks about me?” Kendra asked, not knowing whether to ignore the butterflies in her stomach or not.
“He does. And he always has a smile on his face when he leaves here, same as you. We just…”
“Just what?” she prompted.
“We just want you to be careful,” Celeste said, finishing her sister’s sentence.
 What the hell?
Mimi winced at Kendra's expression before clearing her throat.
“When I met you, it was obvious that part of you was missing,” Mimi said softly, Celeste nodding.
What?
“What do you mean?” Kendra frowned.
“This fun flirty side of you? These beaming smiles? It’s great, don’t get me wrong, but seeing you around Freddie makes so much sense,” Mimi explained.
Okay that was crazy.
“We really are just friends,” Kendra said, shaking her head.
Mimi and Celeste send her matching disbelieving looks.
“No, really,” Kendra said, shrugging, “We always had this flirty banter but it was never anything more than that.”
“Never anything more?” Celeste said, raising an eyebrow, “Not even once?”
“No!” Kendra laughed, “He would come to my yoga classes, we’d get coffee or smoothies occasionally, sometimes lunch, but never anything more.”
“I really don’t think you see what we see. What no doubt everyone sees when they watch the two of you,” Mimi said.
“You can’t fake that kind of chemistry, Kendra. He clearly has feelings for you,” Celeste added.
What?
He had feelings for her?
And everyone saw it?
Mimi and Celeste watched her obvious turmoil with soft pitying smiles.
“Think about it. Just think about it. That’s all we’re saying,” Mimi said, her voice warm and reassuring, “And be careful?”
“You’re our girl, okay? We just want you to be happy,” Celeste said, smiling.
“Uh yeah, sure. I’ll think about it,” Kendra murmured.
It was all she could do to walk in a straight line for their staff kitchen, desperately needing a cold bottle of water to sip on while she sorted through her thoughts.
She’d always found Freddie attractive. That was something she could admit to without hesitation. But it was something she’d buried deep, knowing she could never act on it. Bringing that acknowledgement back up to the surface was terrifying, because it wasn’t just a physical attraction – it was everything about him. If she let herself think about how attracted she was to him, let herself think about his laugh, and his kindness, and his terrible taste in coffee, and his soft smile when he talked about his family, and literally everything else about him…she felt like she would explode.
How was she supposed to behave normally around him in their last scheduled yoga session, when all of these dangerous feelings were bubbling at the surface?
No, she had to find a way. She couldn’t ruin everything, not when she’d just got him back into her life. She just couldn’t.
Somehow, she managed to keep a lid on her emotions for her entire day until Freddie’s session at the end of her evening, running through the most challenging routines that pushed him to his limit, but left him with a smile on his face. He was ready. He was really ready for his return to play in two days time.
So why did it feel like everything was ending?
Freddie had stayed mostly quiet, focusing on his movements, but there were times in between flows that she caught him staring at her as if he was thinking. Thinking hard. It was almost off-putting, if it didn’t make her feel giddy. Were her friends right? Were her feelings really reciprocated?
Whatever was going through his mind, she didn’t know, but even she could feel a trembling intensity between the two of them that she couldn’t put a finger on. It felt like…anticipation.
When their class was over, Freddie insisted on waiting for her to grab all of her things, Mimi and Celeste just smirking as he waved goodbye to them, escorting her out to her car. This time he apparently hadn’t parked that far away from her, so he was insistent on walking her properly, although it could definitely be classed as more of an extremely slow stroll rather than a walk.
Like he was drawing this out as much as she was.
“You must be freezing,” Freddie murmured, “Here take my jacket.”
Before Kendra could form a word of protest at his sudden words, Freddie was slipping his jacket off and placing it over her shoulders. The warmth immediately hit her body, thrumming through her veins, and she knew without a doubt that her burning cheeks gave her thoughts away.
“There. Better?”
It was all Kendra could do to nod, staying silent as Freddie made a grunt of approval. Why was this affecting her so much? It was a just a jacket. It was just a jacket, right? It didn’t stop her sinking into the warmth though, picking up the scent of his cologne, ignoring the way her heart started beating that little bit faster.
She had to say something. She had to say something.
“Freddie…I need to ask you a question,” she said softly.
“Go for it,” he mused.
“Did you know it was me when you agreed to do a yoga rehab course?”
“What?”
Kendra exhaled a little shakily, but shook her head. She needed to know.
“When your team suggested yoga classes as part of your rehab treatment plan, how did you pick a teacher? Did you know I would be running this for you?”
“Ah.”
A single word. How ominous.
But Kendra just stayed silent, unwilling to say anything else before he did. She needed to know. It would change everything.
“The team gave me a list of options, with short descriptions about the teacher and any feedback from other clients. And…the moment I saw your name on the list, I didn’t have to think any further or look at anyone else,” he murmured.
“What?”
Freddie let out a shaky breath, halting his walk, so Kendra stopped next to him. What did he mean by that?
“I took it as a sign from the universe that I finally had a chance to make up for letting our friendship fizzle out. You were one of the best parts about Anaheim for me, and I was so wrapped up in my head in Toronto that I was stupid enough to let our friendship go. To let you go. I wanted to see you again. I knew that you would be amazing from the yoga side of things, but to get the chance to say that I’m sorry? I couldn’t pass that up.”
As he spoke, his words clear and his expression more serious than she’d ever seen, her heart started racing like it never had before. He really meant all of that, didn’t he? He really chose her?
“You have nothing to apologise for,” she eventually said, a little more breathless than she would care to admit.
“Yes, I do,” Freddie replied, huffing out a laugh, “You deserved better than I treated you.”
He looked relieved, like her being mad at him was even a possibility (not with them, never with him), but she just shook her head. Yeah, it had hurt at the time, when she finally resigned to losing contact with him – but that was over 7 years ago. With time, that hurt had faded into an ache, which in turn faded to occasional wistfulness. She could never hold a grudge against him for a trade, and certainly not for following his dream. That just wasn’t who Kendra was.
She started walking again, Freddie wasting no time in joining her, even though their steps were practically glacial in speed.
“Maybe I deserved a little better communication but it was so long ago, Freddie. I’m not holding onto past grudges. And honestly, the fact that you chose me because you wanted to reconnect? That’s all I needed.”
“Really?” he asked, voice hopeful.
“Really really,” she grinned, “Although I’m sure you can think of something to make it up to me.”
A grin spread across Freddie’s face too, making her feel a little giddy.
“Anything you wanted, Kendra Lee.”
“That is a dangerous offer, Frederik Andersen,” she shot back.
He just shrugged, grin not leaving his face. “You know I’m good for it.”
This, these flirty exchanges, served to do nothing other than light her blood on fire. Why was it always so easy to slip back into this with him like nothing had changed? That was a good thing, right?
“Come out with me on St Patrick’s Day night,” she blurted.
He raised an eyebrow, looking unimpressed, but she just laughed.
“I’m going to a karaoke bar with Mimi and Celeste – join us,” she explained.
“That’s what you want? Out of all the things you could’ve asked for…you want me to join you for karaoke,” he said incredulously.
Kendra inhaled sharply at the implication in his words but nodded anyway, hoping she wasn’t making a huge mistake.
“I do. It’ll be fun, to see you outside of work, and to do something with you that we’ve never done before. We already have a little booth booked and it’ll be better than cramming into a regular bar for St Patrick’s Day,” she said firmly.
He laughed softly, shaking his head in disbelief, before eventually nodding.
“Alright, I’ll be there. Text me the address,” he mused.
Kendra just grinned, ignoring the butterflies in her stomach as they finally reached her car.
“Thanks for lending me your jacket, Freddie.”
“Any time.”
~
By the time the evening of the 17th March rolled around, Kendra was buzzing. She'd not seen Freddie since his debut back on the ice, him having given the three of them tickets to say thank you. Watching him win? It was everything, and she couldn't have been prouder of him. But with his schedule and hers, he hadn't scheduled any more classes like he'd said he'd wanted to, so Kendra had been limited to text messages, hoping that her daydreams weren't just silly fantasies.
Kendra, Mimi, and Celeste had been in O'Malley's for an hour, and Freddie still hadn’t arrived. The longer that time went on, the more disappointed she felt, not wanting to believe that after everything they’d regrown between them that he would just ghost her. No, that wasn’t Freddie. It couldn’t be Freddie.
“Breathe. Have a drink. He promised he’d be here, right?” Celeste said with a sweet smile.
“He did. But that doesn’t mean he couldn’t have changed his mind,” Kendra sighed.
“Hey, no sad faces. It’s St Patrick’s Day and we’re having a good time!” Mimi said cheerfully.
Kendra just groaned, taking a big gulp of her beer, her friends just cheering. They were right. She couldn’t dwell on this. If Freddie was going to come or whether he wasn’t, she was still out with her friends to have a good time. That was what she needed to focus on.
“Up next, Kendra singing Red!”
“Ooh girl that’s you, go!” Mimi squealed.
Kendra took a deep breath to steel herself, sliding out of their booth with a confident smile. If anyone could make her feel better, it would be Taylor Swift, she knew that much. As the intro music starting playing, she focused on letting it flow through her, tapping her foot in time with the beat.
“Loving him is like driving a new Maserati down a dead end street, Faster than the wind, passionate as sin, ending so suddenly, Loving him is like trying to change your mind, Once you're already flying through the free fall, Like the colors in autumn, so bright, just before they lose it all.”
As if summoned by magic, the door to the pub opened, and Freddie walked in. Within seconds he saw her standing on the karaoke stage and stopped in his tracks, offering her a small stunned smile. He came. He didn’t ghost her. Freddie actually came as she asked him. That had to mean something, right?
“Remembering him comes in flashbacks and echoes, Tell myself it's time now gotta let go, But moving on from him is impossible, When I still see it all in my head, In burning red, Burning, it was red.”
She found herself pouring her emotions into the words, pouring everything she felt about Freddie into the song, not able to take her eyes off him. By now, Mimi and Celeste had noticed how she was performing just for Freddie – she could see their grins from across the room – and a few other patrons were starting to notice too. But she couldn’t stop herself. Her body felt almost out of control, singing her heart out to the only man who’d ever truly held it.
“Oh, losing him was blue, like I'd never known, Missing him was dark gray, all alone, Forgetting him was like trying to know, Somebody you never met, 'Cause loving him was red, Yeah, yeah, red, Burning red.”
His eyes were almost wild, locked onto her like she was the only person in the room. It was a heady feeling, giving her the confidence she needed to finish the song with a smile.
“And that's why he's spinning 'round in my head, Comes back to me, burning red, Yeah, yeah.”
She curtseyed dramatically to cheers and applause as the song ended, a wide grin on her face, and she moved to step off the stage, Freddie was already there with a hand extended to help her down. She took it silently, inhaling sharply as Freddie didn’t let go – instead her guided her across the room to the bar, the crowd parting with whatever intensity was on his face, so much so that they were served immediately.
“Two baby guinnesses,” Freddie asked politely.
The barman just laughed, nodding as he poured the shots, Freddie not letting go of her hand even as he paid for their drinks. He passed her one of the shots with a hopeful smile, the sweetness in his eyes intoxicating, so she clinked the glass gently with his, the cool liquid sliding down her throat smoothly.
“I wasn’t sure if you would make it,” Kendra said, offering him a small smile.
“I was thinking. Thinking about a lot of things. And I have something I need to say,” Freddie murmured, voice barely audible above the rumble of the room’s conversation.
“Oh?” she said, breath caught in her throat.
“I need to be honest with you, Kendra. I don’t think I can do any more classes with you.”
Oh. Everything in her chest felt like it was crumbling, Kendra barely able to get a breath in.
Wait, what?
“It would be incredible unprofessional of me,” Freddie added.
“Unprofessional? Freddie, if I’ve done something-”
The last thing Kendra was expecting was for Freddie to cut off her words with a kiss.
And not just any kiss. A toe-curling, melt into his arms, curl her fingers into his shirt kind of kiss. As his hands cupped her face and his lips moved with hers, it was all she could do to let out a soft little moan, interrupted only at the chorus of cheers and whistles around them. Freddie broke the kiss with a soft laugh, Kendra just feeling dazed, but his shy smile just made her giddy all over again.
“I’ve wanted to kiss you for so long. I just didn’t think I could,” he admitted, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
They were right. Mimi and Kendra were right.
“What changed?” she managed to ask.
“We changed,” he said. “We’ve both grown so much in ourselves since I left Anaheim and I am proud of both of us for taking what we need to make ourselves happy and successful. But I don’t want to lie to myself any more, thinking that I don’t need you too.”
“You need me?” she said, surprised.
“I do, in every way. I was an idiot for so many years, Kendra. I don’t want to waste any more time,” he said seriously.
“Jesus, Freddie, knock a girl for six why don’t you,” she said, huffing out a laugh.
He froze at her words, clearly fearing the worst, but Kendra just grinned. How could she be anything but excited?
“I’m yours, Freddie Andersen. I always have been,” she said happily.
The smile that spread across his face was worth a thousand lifetimes. This was what she had been waiting for. Exactly this.
“Now, buy me another drink and sing a song with me, and I’ll consider kissing you again,” Kendra grinned.
He laughed in disbelief but grinned so widely in response that it made her giddy. “One blue moon pale ale, coming right up.”
Her favourite girls night drink? How did he remember everything she’d ever said?  They were really doing this. They were finally doing this. 
“You’re going to be trouble, aren’t you?” she laughed.
“Probably. You love it though.”
That she did.
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