#tis angsty

[inkedroplets]

Day 15 Childhood Trauma

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Home was the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in—at least according to Robert Frost it was—and maybe that was why it was the place Lena's feet had carried her. Standing in front of the manor with no earthly idea how she had gotten there, she felt like a child again, standing in front of something too big and too cold to hold anything good inside. 

She knocked twice. She was still trying to piece together how she had arrived here when her mother threw open the door. Lillian peered at her, a look of genuine surprise on her face that made her momentarily look years younger. Her mouth curved into that all-too-familiar curl of a smirk which slowly retreated as she got a better look at Lena. 

“What’s happened?” she asked cautiously. If she didn’t know her so well, she might have mistaken it for concern. It tinged her voice and robbed it of any of the sarcasm that she had been so naturally gifted with.

“I killed Lex.” She said it as if it was a fact she had been forced to repeat to the point of disinterest and she supposed that she had. It was the solitary thought that she had held onto even in her fugue. A voice whispered it over and over in the back of her mind still, part mantra, part madness.

 I killed Lex. I killed Lex. I killed Lex. 

She expected disbelief or outright rejection from her mother. The very nature of their family's dynamic made such a declaration difficult to take seriously. How many times had she threatened Lex’s life in the past? But it took her mother only a moment’s contemplation before she nodded grimly. 

“Where?” she asked

There was a bitter chill in the cabin that wasn’t there before. Lena’s breath fogged out in front of her the instant that she and her mother had stepped out of the portal. The door to the cabin was wide open and for one irrational moment, she believed that Lex had survived somehow and stumbled out of the cabin and into the snow. Somehow he would inevitably turn up again like a bad penny. 

She could almost picture the scene in her head. One that her imagination was more than eager to furnish with plausible details and other dribs and drabs that gave the whole thing a hint of verisimilitude. She built the scene in her head delicately like a house of cards until part of her really started to believe or maybe hope that it was true.

And then she saw Lex's body lying on the floor and the house of cards came crashing down. Running red blossoms flowered on his chest and beneath him a pool of blood that looked black in the semi-darkness. 

Dead.

Killed, a voice in her head whispered back at her in a hectoring rasp. She had opened the door, had fled out into the snow and the wind in a fugue before she had used her watch to create a portal. She knew this had to be true but had no memory of it. The last thing she remembered was Lex’s triumphant capering grin as he relished the pain he had been able to inflict on her. Reveling in the fact that if he had to die, he could at least bring her world crashing down before he did.

“Lex…” 

Lillian spoke so softly that Lena could hardly believe that it was her speaking. Her mother stepped past her and knelt beside Lex’s body. She lay a hand on his chest, maybe hoping (however irrationally considering his current state) that he might still be breathing, to feel a shiver in his breast. 

Lena half-expected her to whip around to point an accusatory finger before screaming at her. Not like she didn't deserve it. She had killed her brother, after all. But when her mother finally turned around she did so slowly, speaking in a voice barely louder than a whisper. 

“It had to be done,” she said, sounding almost like her old self. Shrewd and coldly calculating in her assessment but even in the low light, Lena could see the pained expression on her face, how in the dark her eyes shone with unfallen tears. 

You don’t truly believe that Lena thought. No matter how good of a liar her mother was, she knew that was one truth she could never truly hide from her. If she so wanted she would see the truth in her mother's eyes. Which was why she was too afraid to look, to confirm what she knew had to be true. “—Far away from here. No one can ever suspect. Someone besides me needs to see you, tonight, Lena.” It was hearing her name that roused her from her stupor, so close to slipping back into that blankness she had unknowingly tumbled into after shooting Lex, her mind wanting to flee back into that nothingness that was so much like the snowstorm raging outside,

An alibi? Yes, she thought, she would need one of those. It was the kind of thing you wanted after committing murder. Best to err on the side of caution, to leave nothing to chance. Both were lessons she had learned and learned well in her family. Wasn't that exactly why she had come to the cabin in the first place? To be completely sure? To trust only herself to do what had to be done? 

“Are you listening, Lena?” 

“Yes,” she said, feeling like a child again, discipline and proper etiquette so ingrained in her that answering was second nature. “I have it covered.” It's game night, she thought and felt the inexplicable urge to laugh. Plenty of witnesses there. People I thought were my friends.

“Good,” Lillian breathed. She cast a dispassionate look around the room of what was once their cabin and Lena wondered if she had even realized where they were. Not that the would have any reason to. There was no evidence of what it had once been. Lex had repurposed it as a safehouse and showed no sentimentality in its renovation. Nothing remained of what it once was. Not so much unlike the Lex she had grown up with.

I didn't want to do it, Lena thought. But I had to. If I didn’t, he would have hurt a lot of people. She knew it to be true, that fact was immutable. Even in her grief and uncertainty, she had never once wavered in that belief. But noble or not, necessary or not, sorry or not, there was also no changing the fact that she had killed her brother. I did a good thing, right, Mother? Please tell me, I did a good thing, she thought. She thought it hard as if it was something that she could pass along to her without words. Feeling as if she deserved whatever answer she gave. Too afraid to ask her outright, fearing she already knew the answer. 

It should have alarmed Lena to know how little her life had changed since she had killed Lex. She had believed the act (or even the mere decision to act) would fracture her life into two unconnected pieces: the part of her life where Lex was alive and the part where he wasn't.  It seemed plausible enough that killing him would create some indelible rift for her to deal with. But when was life ever so tidy? 

Her life had been marked by loss and pain. Enough to know that though it might leave deep scars, nothing was separating oneself from the bits and pieces that made up the person you were, life simply went on for better or worse. Killing Lex was just another broken piece of her that made up her whole self. 

She still hadn't confronted Kara or any of the others about the fact that they had been lying to her from the very beginning. Still going through the motions of what she had so stupidly believed was genuine friendship. Attending game nights and lunch dates with Kara. 

Some days it felt easier to keep pretending if only because she was too tired to deal with the inevitable fallout. The empty apologies and the crocodile tears. Other days she wanted nothing more than to put an end to it. To set her face as if prepared for bitter medicine and weather the excuses and the apologies and finally put it behind her. Not just put it all behind her but to set a flame to it. Some days she wanted to watch it burn. 

Tonight though all she wanted was a cigarette. A telltale sign that she was overstressed. She had never considered herself a smoker but she had once upon a time carried around a pack and smoked one or two before tossing it and promising herself that it would be the last. 

If that could be considered a habit, she had kicked it years ago but she still found herself buying a pack from time to time when she was on a business trip. More often than not she didn't so much as peel away the cellophane. The pack would usually languish away in a drawer until she tossed them when she happened across them again. On occasion, however, the compulsion would strike and she would remember why she never threw away the small silver lighter stashed in one of her desk drawers. 

She could almost hear her mother's voice echoing in her head as she pocketed the lighter. 

It's such a nasty habit, Lena. Honestly…

“I know,” she murmured as she rummaged around in another drawer. She found what she was looking for and tweezed the slightly squashed pack out with her fingers. They’ll be stale, she thought as she picked away at the cellophane wrapper. She couldn’t recall exactly when she had bought them, only that she had been in Japan on business and had bought them on a whim. 

She stepped out onto the balcony, the unexpected chill of the night air made gooseflesh race down her arms. The view of the city interested her about as much as a good meal would have after she had already eaten. Another day, another time she would find it appealing but not now. 

Lena tapped the bottom of the pack against the railing before examining it. She smoked so rarely that she thought it impossible for her to have a brand but she realized (with a faint pang of what might have been regret) that she only ever smoked Seven Stars. 

In one fluid motion, she took one from the pack and lit it before she clicked the lighter closed, and stowed it away in her pocket. The first drag made her a little lightheaded. The second she held in her chest before exhaling slowly, smoke tumbling out of her mouth in a hazy cloud.

“Those really aren’t good for you.”

As far as unwanted visitors went, Lena believed that she only had to worry about Supergirl making an untimely appearance. She never expected to look up and see her cousin floating down to meet her. 

“Is Metropolis so safe that you can fly all the way here to give an in-person anti-smoking PSA?” 

“Sorry.” He ducked his head when he landed on her balcony with a hangdog expression on his face. Lena thought it an appropriate show of contrition considering he had both come uninvited and bearing unwanted advice. “It’s not my place.” “When has that ever stopped people?” she observed. She thought about butting the cigarette if only to be polite but decided against it, hoping he wouldn’t stick around long enough for it to matter. “I’m assuming you need my help with something?” “No, nothing like that.” He shook his head, still looking sheepish. Like a dog that had been caught digging up the garden. “I should have come sooner,” he said gravely. He stood up straighter and looked every bit the hero that so many looked up to. “I wanted to tell you how sorry I was to hear about Lex.” 

Lena dropped her gaze, pretending to brush away nonexistent ash from her slacks. “That makes you the first and most likely the last,” she said flatly. “Strangely enough, trying to take over the world several times didn't endear him to the public at large.”

“I don't doubt that,” he said fairly. "But that doesn't make me any less sorry to know that he's gone. If anything it makes me sadder knowing the man he could have been.” 

“He made his choices,” Lena said and jetted out a plume of smoke from the corner of her mouth. And I made mine… 

“I'm still sorry. For whatever he became, whatever he was, he used to be my friend and he was your brother.” 

 “He was,” Lena agreed.

And I still killed him…

“Lena…” “He wasn’t always a monster,” she said, speaking in a voice that wasn’t even a whisper, not caring if he heard or not. “I know he wasn’t. He was my best friend once. I’m sorry I couldn’t do more for him.” She butted her cigarette, nearly smoked down to the filter on the rail of the balcony, and reached for another one, ducking her head against the wind. She fumbled for her lighter and had to chase the flame, her hands were shaking that badly. 

“I’m sure if Supergirl had any other choice…” He shook his head as if he wasn’t sure how or maybe if he even should finish his thought. “You didn't come here on her behalf, did you?” Lena found something deeply amusing about the possibility that Kara had sent an envoy of sorts because she had been too afraid to deliver the message herself. How many masks do you need? she wondered. He shook his head. No.” “Well, then,” Lena said and took a step back from the balcony. “Thank you for the condolences,” she said. “But I really would like to be alone.” She looked at him and waved a wisp of smoke away. “What is it with you Kryptonians thinking being able to fly gives you carte blanche to land anywhere you wish?” “I’ll make an appointment next time,” he promised. He rose into the air, illuminated by the rind of moon in the sky.

“Lex had to be stopped,” Lena said almost conversationally, part of her hoping that he had already made enough distance that he might not have heard her. 

“He did,” he agreed and with him hovering overhead it was easier to imagine she was simply having a conversation with herself. “She didn’t have a choice,” Lena said, repeating what she had tried to tell herself so many times over. “She did a good thing, right? Killing him.” The silence that she got in return stretched on for so long that she believed that he had simply flown away, either unable or unwilling to answer her which she thought was an answer unto itself. “I’m sorry,” he repeated. His voice was so full of pain and understanding as it grew fainter, becoming one with the night air, and she hated him for it.

It was only after spending so many long evenings shut away in her penthouse that Lena realized how many excuses she made to be anywhere else. In spite of living several years in National City, it still didn't feel like home. Now, knowing what she did, she was certain that it never would. 

Leaving was always an option. A choice that seemed to only grow more appealing with each passing day. There was no reason to stay and every reason to put the city behind her. Start over. She had done it before. And each time was like the first time. Because sometimes there was no lesson to be learned or bracing yourself for what you knew was coming.  Sometimes you just picked up the shattered bits of your life and got on because what else could you do? 

Tomorrow, I’ll deal with all of that tomorrow, Lena told herself and knew that it probably wouldn’t be tomorrow but it would be soon. Because who wants to make plans to uproot what they thought was their life with a hangover? 

She had been drunk an hour ago and was now fast approaching a level of intoxication that she would sorely regret in the morning and for a good chunk of the day. The one upside (the only upside) was that drinking this much meant no nightmares. No nightmare. Because lately she only ever had the one. Lex lying in a pool of blood. Standing over him with a gun in her hands, feeling the weight of it as it pulled her down into darkness. And sometimes when she was able to look away, when she inevitably looked back (because the pull was too irresistible not to) Lex would look as he did when they were children. When he had promised to take her away from everything. 

Her gaze fell upon her empty glass for a moment before she reached for the bottle of scotch, intent on remedying that. She splashed a generous amount into it and was ready to raise it to her lips when there was a featherlight knock at her door. So light that she could have easily brushed it off as a trick of sound. “Lena… It’s me. It’s Kara. Are you home?” 

You know I am, Lena thought. Her hand closed over her glass and the urge to throw it at the door as way of an answer came and went. 

She considered remaining silent, sure that Kara would slink away eventually. But what good would that do? If Kara was adamant on speaking with her, and Lena guessed that she was, she could always just whip off her glasses and go tap on her window. 

The thought made her sick and she pushed her glass away, not caring that most of its contents sloshed out over the side. “I'm here,” she said, not bothering to raise her voice all that much, knowing Kara would hear her either way. She took her time walking to the door, aware that Kara was probably watching her. 

She thumbed the lock open and opened the door just enough to peer through it. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh!” Kara said, sounding surprised  as if the possibility that Lena might ask her such a question had never crossed her mind. “I had an interview fall through for my article and decided to take the rest of the day off rather than type angry.” She smiled at her little joke. “And when I called your office, Jess said you didn’t come in today. Thought it might be worth dropping by your place.” 

“I caught a bug.” She told this lie easily and dispassionately, not caring in the slightest if Kara knew she was lying or not. “I’d rather not pass it along to you and truth be told I’m not much in the mood for company.” She tensed her mouth in what might generously be considered a humorless smile. “Maybe we can talk tomorrow?”

“If you’re feeling better…” Kara said cautiously and from the way she was looking past her, Lena was certain she was looking at the chair Lena had just vacated and the bottle of scotch standing at attention nearby. “Do you want anything? Medicine? Soup? Or do you not have an appetite?” Lena shook her head. “It’s just a bug, Kara. I’ll be fine. Really.” She tried her luck at another smile and managed a more convincing one before she made to shut the door. “Lena…” Kara said before she was able to shut the door completely. “Yeah?” Lena said, speaking through the tiny crack, not bothering to open it again. “If you need anything, you can call me, you know? Day or night.” “Yes,” Lena said and found it easier to speak now that she didn’t need to look at Kara while she did it. “I’m aware of how friendships are supposed to work, Kara. Thank you though.” “I know you do, I just wanted to make sure you knew. Lately… Things have been so hectic. And Lex… I’m so sorry about everything, Lena.” “You don’t have anything to be sorry for, Kara. You didn’t kill Lex.” She paused. “Supergirl did. And if she didn’t, Lex would be plotting and scheming in whatever cell they threw him in. And he would end up hurting more people. It’s a good thing she did it,” Lena said numbly before she shut the door and turned the lock, not realizing that she was crying. 

[flwrkid14]

Eternal Bonds: Tim and Danny’s Infinite Realms Marriage

In the Infinite Realms, marriage is an unparalleled commitment. Unlike the mortal world, where love can be fleeting and easily undone, marriage in the Realms is something far more sacred. It’s not just about vows or ceremonies—it’s about merging souls, creating a bond that not even the vast stretches of time can sever. The very idea of marriage in the Realms is rare, almost mythical, because it requires two beings to love each other so profoundly that they’re willing to bind their very existence to one another.

For the ghosts and entities that reside in this realm, eternity isn’t just a poetic idea—it’s a reality. Time is meaningless when you’re no longer alive, when your very essence is bound to the afterlife. And because of this, relationships are viewed through a different lens. There’s no such thing as divorce, no “time apart.” Once a couple is bound, their souls are intertwined forever. To dedicate your entire being—past, present, and future—to another means accepting that their joys, sorrows, triumphs, and failures will be yours too. It’s a partnership where breaking the bond is simply impossible.

It’s why marriage is such a rare occurrence in the Realms. The ghosts, who have already lived one life and often seen the frailty of mortal promises, don’t enter into this kind of bond lightly. It’s only for the strongest of loves, for the most steadfast of commitments. Because once you marry in the Infinite Realms, that bond holds through eternity itself.

And yet, despite the gravity of it all, Tim and Danny find themselves willing to make that very commitment. Tim, a mortal tied to a world where things end, where nothing lasts forever, steps into the unknown. His love for Danny is so deep, so unshakable, that he agrees to a traditional Infinite Realms marriage. He knows full well the weight of it—he’s not just vowing to love Danny in this life, but in every life after. In swearing to this bond, Tim is offering his entire being to Danny, for now and all of eternity.

For Danny, this choice means even more. As a halfa, he exists between two worlds, knowing both the mortality of the living and the permanence of the ghostly afterlife. His love for Tim is powerful enough that he’s willing to make this eternal commitment, knowing that there’s no one else in any world—mortal, ghostly, or beyond—he would rather be tied to. For Danny, the bond is as natural as breathing. It’s a connection that deepens their relationship in a way that transcends the limitations of their two worlds.

Their marriage isn’t just a declaration of love—it’s a merging of souls, a binding that makes them two parts of the same whole. It overwhelms them with the sense of safety and belonging that they’ve both craved in their lives. In each other, they find the kind of love that doesn’t just endure life’s difficulties but thrives beyond them. Their bond ties them together forever in a way that no one else could understand, but to Tim and Danny, it’s everything.

They are each other’s home. And in the Infinite Realms, there is no greater honor, no stronger connection, than to be bound by love for all of eternity.

[turtleblogatlast]

Leo getting hit with a truth curse but instead of forcing him to admit to super sad or worrying things it’s things like “it was me who broke the remote” “I saw Mikey prank Donnie and helped hide it because it’s way funnier if he didn’t know who it was” “I rip my clothes to look more like Raph’s because he’s really cool” “my stripes aren’t even red they’re pink!”

[louisferrignojr]

anyway back to bucktommy fanfiction

[oceanera12]

Here's the thing for anyone who wants to read my random ideas, have fun trying to see the Epic connections I guess???

Guys. I have a Linked Universe fic idea.

It was inspired by Epic: The Muiscal's "Remember Them" and "My Goodbye."

I say that and yet if I didn't say that you probably wouldn't notice.

And I have now typed 5,000 words of it and don't actually have a plot planned out???? Like??? This was not the plan???

[shower-phantom-ideas]

Another DPXDC post for the first time

Yall remember winged danny? Yea me too the good ol days lads

But imagine Danny in Gothem cause hes either on the run from his family or the GIW you decide boys on the run and probably alone.

He gets picked up by the Waynes at some point and eventually he goes to have the “im not normal talk” but they all know. He is a meta or something. They have been waiting for him to be ready to tell them, if ever. They would accept him no matter what.

Except the time comes and he just “I have wings” and like everyone is shocked™️ Danny gets the idea hes about to be rejected and starts to fold in on himself and someone better snap out of it before the kid cries. Alfred is the one to speak first probably.

Just everyone so shocked but I mean it’s more a shock that they missed this instead of that Danny has wings. After that they fully accept him and apologise. Someone says the “we thought you were about to tell us about your powers!” Danny just has his own little moment before shouting “YOU GUYS KNOW I HAVE GHOST POWERS!?!?!!!?”

Anyway they move on and Danny hardly brings the wings up again but he does get seen around with them every once in a while. But eventually they find out hes not taking care of them as he should. It’s probably Duke who sees Danny with his messy wings and offers to help him.

Let Danny get help with self care ok. The Bats would all go nuts learning how to take care of Danny if he ever asks.

Now imagine the reverse of this and they all know he has wings but not that hes the High Ghost King Phantom.

[peppermint-whiskers]

My naming system is top tier hell ye 👌👌👌

Specifically the folders pfft

[54625]

people can keep coming up with angsty headcanons about why qPac passes out (crashes) so much- like he's got low blood pressure from not eating properly or he's exhausted from not sleeping properly- and I accept that

but to me he's just that one character in a kids movie that keeps getting injured as a gag. like he's just constantly tripping over roots and whacking his head off the ground, birds just constantly seem to drop rocks specifically on his head, people just keep inexplicably slamming doors into his face without realising it. qPac is just such a cartoon character to me I'm sorry

[wanderingmausoleum]

i like to headcanon that yuri was always a fingercreeper, mostly because i’ve always been prone to getting overly emotionally attached to strange little creatures and other non-human things, and i simply like to think ymir is the same way

[hana-bobo-finch]

Shoutout to this draft I made a couple hours ago when I suddenly had an epiphany for how I could fix a part of my story and I was so excited that the only way I could express it is to write whatever this is but I couldn’t post it because I didn’t have internet

also it got marked as mature for some reason

[tinyluminaryzombie]

@jilymicrofics | March Prompt #27 - Satisfied | 316 words ~(angsty and a bit steamy)~

Tonight may be the most self-serving Lily’s ever been. 

She’s also sure it will lead to her ruin. 

Lily snaked her hand around James’s under the table two hours ago. She didn’t think to question why he squeezed her hand tight and started whispering jokes in her ear. 

Two hours ago it didn’t matter. Because their intertwined hands were resting on Lily’s leg. It was almost everything she wanted. The universe had fulfilled one-half of her wish and Lily was too afraid to shatter the moment to ask why. She didn’t ask for more, beg for complete satisfaction. No, instead, she took an incomplete dream and ran.

From peeling clothes off her skin to placing her head on a stack of two pillows, James has barely let go of her hand. His determination to always be touching makes Lily want to say things she shouldn’t. Things she’s thought about for way too long and things that could never be taken back. 

It’s on repeat in her brain, right next to the touch of his lips against hers. She’s in love with James. 

“Lils, you still good?” James asks, one finger pulling her lip from her teeth. 

She could change her mind right now and he’d stop in an instant. She knows that he’d be okay with anything she’d want to do. James Potter might not be in love with her, but he’d rather die than hurt anyone he cares about. 

Lily knows the reality of their (lack of) relationship will sting in the morning. She’ll probably cry and hide under the covers for the day. But, she wants this, with James, even if it’s only tonight. 

For once, she is reckless. 

James not loving her will be Future Lily’s problem. 

“Of course,” she breathes out, letting go of James’s hand to rest hers on his neck, pulling him closer. 

How could anything this good be bad?

[jae-in-a-trenchcoat]

Kenlynn is literally THE GREATEST by Billie Eilish from Kenji’s POV

“I-I can’t be with you anymore…if you’re not going to be with me.” - Kenji to Brooklyn in the flashback in ep 4.

This line relates to what THE GREATEST is conveying pretty damn well.

This part of the song especially:

The way Brooklyn is fully engrossed in her phone while Kenji is trying to show her something.

The pain of one sided love when you would do whatever for them, even when they don’t return it. Good GOD.

[wannabemylover]

Omg omg PLEASE okay I was thinking about season 7 and everything I want from it---Hen and Karen having a baby, madney wedding, Bobby and Athena honeymoon, buddie canon---but like what I really want from it is Buck meeting Eddie's sisters. Like can you imagine???? We see what Eddie's like, can you imagine what his sisters are like??? And I just know Buck would be charming them so much and they both realize just exactly why Eddie has legally tied himself to Buck. And after they corner Eddie and are all like "we know Buck's your 'best friend'" because Eddie's an idiot if he thinks he's fooling anyone, "but we didn't expect you to be his 'best friend' as well." And then they spend the rest of the episode playing matchmaker, making little remarks about how domestic and entregado they are to make Eddie blush, and hanging out with Buck because he's fucking hilarious and they really want him as a brother-in-law.

[paperbirb]

immortal foxian jy & bladie!!!

[mattiebluebird]

Case fic AU of Duke's training year centered around his identity as Signal (big hero, works for/with Batman, above everyone else) vs. Lark (friendly neighborhood hero, fights for the little guy, does things his own way) told as he & the WAR crew investigate a strange new drug that gives people meta abilities, with several B-plots of the other Robins becoming heroes in their own right. Is that anything.

[whatareyoudoingwithamaserati]

I call this one vodwatching and shitposting