#tis agony fellas

[sometimesanequine]

i pray none of you ever have the misfortune of feeling the weather in your bones in the hellscape that is current weather patterns

[nameless-jamie]

Binged the PA reader x Jamie tartt and wondering how she dealt with him in the episode where Roy attached strings to each of them

Strings

Masterlist

Jamie Tartt x fem! PA reader

A/N: I love this idea! Let's see, I hope I did your vision justice.

TW: vulgar language

AFC Richmond’s training sessions had always been weird, but this? This was a new level.

Jamie stood in the middle of the pitch, hands on his hips, watching his teammates squirm uncomfortably. Every single one of them—him included—had a string tied around their, well, bits.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

Y/N stood a few meters away from the team beside Ted and Roy, arms crossed, staring at the absolute disaster unfolding before her.

That was the curse of being Jamie Tartt’s personal assistant. Sure, most of the job involved handling his schedule, making sure he showed up to meetings, and ensuring his expensive, ridiculous skincare routine didn’t run out of products he insisted were life-changing. But it also meant this. Standing on the pitch, watching him do unbelievably stupid things, and making sure he lived to see another day.

“Now, I know this looks a little unusual,” Ted was saying, “but in Japanese culture, they have a myth that all soulmates are connected by an invisible red string. And those strings are attached to each of their little fingers.”

Jamie looked confused and asked. "Ok, but why is it tied around our dicks then?"

"Yeah, well, you know, that was Roy's idea actually..." Ted grinned pointing at the latter, who looked rather pleased with himself.

Y/N, standing at Roy's side, tried very, very hard not to laugh.

And Jamie, of course, had the biggest smirk on his face.

“Gotta say, coach, this is a new one,” he said, grinning. “What’s next? Gonna tie us all together by our nipples?”

“I mean, that’s an idea,” Ted mused. “But I’d rather not give HR another reason to call me in for a chat.”

“You know, when I signed up for this job, I had a lot of expectations,” Y/N mused, arms crossed as she watched AFC Richmond’s finest prepare for what could only be described as The Dumbest Drill of All Time. “None of them involved making sure my boss didn’t snap his dick in half.” She said rather towards Jamie's general direction than to Ted.

Jamie shot her a grin. “Babe, if my dick’s ever gonna break, I’d at least want it to be in a more entertaining situation.”

She rolled her eyes, biting back a smile. “You wish I’d dignify that with a response.”

“Oh, I do.” He smirked.

Y/N shook her head, biting back a smile as she made a mental note of the flirting. “You know Ted, I'll add ‘involuntary group castration’ to the list of things I never thought I’d witness at work.”

The American just chuckled at that and explained the purpose of the drill further. Something about how constant movement requires constant concentration...

Jamie turned to her again, tilting his head. “Babe, don’t pretend you ain’t enjoyin’ this.”

“Oh, I am,” she admitted. “Mostly because I get to watch you suffer.”

He gasped dramatically, pressing a hand to his chest. “You’re evil. Thought you were supposed to take care of me?”

“Yeah, well, I draw the line at testicular rehabilitation.”

Ted clapped his hands. “Alright, fellas! The goal is simple—move together as a unit and most importantly, do not break the strings.”

“You break it,” Roy growled, “you suffer.”

The team collectively winced.

Jamie, however, just shot Y/N a wink. “Bet you’d be well devastated if somethin’ happened to my—”

“If you finish that sentence, I won't ever re-order the discontinued brand of hair gel you use, you know that you won't find it anywhere without me.”

Jamie barked out a laugh, but before he could push his luck further, the drill began.

It went badly immediately. As expected.

The moment they took their first synchronized step, Colin tripped over his own feet, yanking poor Sam in the process, which led to a horrifying chain reaction of agony.

“FUCK.”

“OH MY GOD.”

“I CAN’T FEEL MY BALLS.”

Then one team was suddenly attacking and pushing forward. Jeff, the defender whose bits are tied to Jamie's...well bits, started to abruptly run in the opposite direction with the ball.

"Jeff, wait. No No NO, NOOO Jeff. AAAAHHHH."

SNAP.

A sudden ripping sound was heard then Jamie Tartt screamed in agony. Even Y/N and Roy flinched at that.

Bumbercatch picked up the loose string that once was tied around Jamie from the ground in utter shock and winced.

Jamie nearly keeled over, grabbing Dani for support.

A chorus of pained groans rang out across the pitch. Players clutched their private parts in sympathy for their teammate, while Dani only whispered, “Football is life… but sometimes, football is pain…”

Y/N, still watching this spectacle, took a slow, deep breath—

And then lost it.

Laughter exploded out of her, completely uncontrollable. "Oh my god—Jamie—" she gasped, actually bending over as tears welled in her eyes. "That was tragic—"

Jamie, still hunched over in agony, shot her the most betrayed look she’d ever seen. "Oi, you're not supposed to laugh at the person who writes your paychecks!"

"I can't help it!" she wheezed, barely able to get the words out. "This is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life and I've seen 'Hangover' about 200 times."

Ted, ever the optimist, walked towards Jamie and clapped him on the back. "Hang in there, sport. You’ll be fine, good story to tell your kids someday."

Jamie groaned dramatically, still not straightening up. "Dunno, coach, feels like I just lost all hope for future generations."

With that, Jamie pulled the hamstring on his pants to take a look at 'little Jamie'. He nodded toward Dani beside him, to confirm everything was intact.

"It’s okay, his penis is okay!” Dani declared cheerfully as if Jamie hadn’t just seen his entire life flash before his eyes.

Jamie glared at him, breathing heavily. “Dani, I swear on me life—”

Roy, completely unimpressed, scowled at him. "Get your head out of your ass, you’re fine, Tartt."

"Am I?!" Jamie cried. "Am I, Roy?!"

Roy didn’t dignify that with a response just shook his head with a pleased smile. One man's agony is another man's joy or whatever...

Y/N just sighed now, stepping forward and—against her better judgment—placed a hand on Jamie’s shoulder. “C’mon, drama queen, let’s get you some ice before you pass out from the tragedy of it all.”

Jamie, still crouched slightly, turned his big, pitiful puppy-dog eyes on her. “Now you’ll take care of me, yeah?”

She rolled her eyes, but her hand did move to the back of his neck, squeezing lightly. “It is in my job description to keep you in one piece.”

Jamie grinned, even through the pain. “Knew you loved me.”

She shoved him toward the medical bench.

“Shut up and sit down before I let you suffer.”

[deprivedreality]

𝗔 𝗖𝗛𝗜𝗟𝗗 𝗢𝗙 𝗧𝗪𝗢 𝗪𝗢𝗥𝗟𝗗𝗦 pilot

tw: mention of mutilation, cursing in na'vi, drug abuse, torture, etc.

𝗭𝗔𝗥𝗜 never truly understood the concept of what it is to be human. She was pure Navi, all she's ever known is that everything in Pandora has a sense of respect and understanding for all living things. That is what humans differed greatly from them.

"Speak your name." Parker Selfridge spoke, his inhumane eyes bore into the deep brown eyes of the blue-skinned child in front of him. Even if her stature and body were slightly bigger than his, it was clear who was the boss of whom. And contrary to that, the na'vi he was facing was barely even of-age. It was a Na'vi child.

"Oeru syaw Tsu'zari te Rongloa Sanari'ite."

She spoke bluntly, looking at the human in front of her with blood lust even with such a calm face. She gave him a gaze of the unwillingness to submit to him. If only she wasn't tied and held captive by a chair that was designed specifically for her, she would have easily pounced the bastard in front of her.

"Don't play with me, you ballsy little brat," Parker spoke through gritted teeth, his face spilling in frustration and anger. But after a few seconds, his face calmed down again and he smiled. "Say it. From now on, what are you called?"

Zari learned one thing about enemies. It's that they do not deserve an ounce of what they call sympathy. She learned it the hard way.

"I said, My name is Tsu'zari te Rongloa─" Zari hissed at him, bearing her canines at the man who only alerted the entire ward filled with soldiers. And before she could finish what she was saying, a strong sweep of a tazer touched her skin and charged a horrifying amount of shock to her body.

"Argh! Kal-wey-aveng!! Rahhh!" She shrieked, screaming in agony as the shock of electricity kept running to her entire body. Parker stared at her as she was being tortured mercilessly at the hands of the RDA soldiers.

"Alright! Alright! You heard me, that's about enough to tame this batshit kid." Parker laughed incredulously, as he looked down on Zari, whose face showed extreme discomfort while she heaved, holding in her tears.

She was certain she endured much more than a simple minute of being tazed by the demons who invaded her world. But she couldn't help but want to cry as she looked at them, wanting to end her suffering and be near home again. Zari was only eight years old, she didn't want any of this.

But one look at Parker Selfridge, the person who thought that kidnapping na'vi children would be a good idea for the RDA's expansion in Pandora, Zari could feel the strength and anger that all her ancestors passed onto her.

"You see this? This is a Taser, and it hurts people. Especially to you indigenous fellas, do you hear me?" Showing off a very humanoid weapon, he just oh so loved to threaten Navis with it, showing no sign of humane emotions. "Weapons like these are made specifically for disobedient animals like yourself."

"And I did not waste millions of dollars and my time just so you'd disrespect me like that, brat. I fed you good meat. I gave you everything a kid could ever want." He kept squawking, yet all Zari could interpret was the insults he keep on throwing at her and it enraged her. As a young Navi child, she's confident she's the first and youngest one to feel such an inappropriate amount of anger and resentment inside.

"Kxutu!" Zari yelled hoarsely, trying to break free from her restraint. But immediately, her queue got pulled harshly and she let out a high-pitched scream that echoed throughout the ward within the time span.

"You know, I don't really like you at all. But... I must say, I'm quite impressed that you learned your way into understanding English. The other kids aren't as good as you are, as Doctor Melendez says." Parker claims, acting like the demon he is.

Doctor Melendez was one of the few scientists to assist Parker with the project of transforming the abducted Navi children into the RDA's pets. For the past ten months, the scientist herself was the one to teach the seven hostages how to speak English and how to act 'human'

Now that Zari had the chance to think of it, the one human who was ever gentle to her and the others were just like any other human. She hated it so much that she wanted to scream. But she can't let her guard down the moment Parker started smirking as he observed her with keen eyes.

Zari's blue skin made him smirk.

"You know, I've always wondered if Earth needs Blue Bags." Zari couldn't understand what he was saying, but hearing all the humans around her laugh made her hiss at them. She tried once again to break free from her restraints but was hit in the head by one of the soldiers.

"Demon! You deserve to die!" As if she's not already been hit by a gun and being grabbed harshly by her queue, the soldiers continued to give her glares and it made her smile with insanity leaking out of her eyes. "My older brother, Toruk Makto will come and kill you!"

Mentioning the alternative name of one specific former marine somehow made the whole lab silent and Parker's face turned completely upside down. He looked as though he was being provoked. "You are the perfect example of a useless lab rat. And you speak too much, little Ziri."

Before she could react once again, Parker had already made a haste move. Ziri could feel a sharp object impaling her throat, gushing in liquid she couldn't phantom what was. It took her a minute to process what was happening, only to realize that she's been injected a drug infused medicine.

She looked at him one last time, eyes dilated and breathing heavily, she cursed. "Eywa... will... end you... humans."

"Whatever you say, monkey." Parker paid no mind and ejected the syringe from Ziri's neck. He was scared that Ziri was connected to the likes of Jake Sully, and he had no choice but to do one very last move. He looked at the RDA soldiers and motioned.

"You know what to do, put this one in cryo like the rest. We have a hometree to harvest, the project is postponed by my order."

Ziri's eyes caved, and the last thing she ever sees was Parker Selfridge's back facing her. Don't let them succeed, Ma Eywa.

Seasoned by the covetousness of humans, Tsu'zari grew to be a child between two planets. All the happiness she thought she could have had fell into neglect and evaporated into nothing more than a hazy dream waiting to disappear. All she ever knew of her true heritage deteriorated when she was colonized and held captive for the prime years of her life. Commandeered by aliens who expect her to acclimate and adapt to their gruesome morals.

Never once again facing the land of her home, and instead kept in a metal facility where they are kept in wards filled with human soldiers. With no other choice but to speak the language of their enemy in order to survive the entirety of the day, and at night, they dreamed of coming back to their clan, connecting with the sacred tree, and reconciling with their families. But they wondered just when that will happen when Humans and Navis were far from being accustomed to each other.

Upon the abduction of Zari and other woeful Na'vi children in the year 2154, that was when she learns that their faith is sealed not by Eywa, but by the Skypeople. For months and years on end, Ziri was instructed under the supervision of the RDA along with six other Navi hostages.

Their reason? To turn these children against their own people.

Zari had dreamed that one day they would be rescued, however, that day never truly arrived. Because as far as she knew and what she believed, her clan had no possibility of knowing what could've been the reason behind her and the other kids' disappearance.

So for the next seventeen years, Zari accepted her faith in adapting to the morals of humans, surviving each passing day learning their machinery, technology, and human intent of expanding their control to the western frontiers of Pandora. With her insanity being on the brink of failure, she endured the mental suffering and awaited for her time until she sets her eyes again on the home she once knew.

But there was a catch to it.

She never knew exactly when that time will come. Or who she will be siding with. Zari and the others were frightened that they would be manipulated by the RDA to spill the blood of their own.

ᓚᘏᗢ @deprivedreality 2023 | do not copy my works!

[nation-wide-is-bi-your-side]

this was such an incredible episode oh my god. sorry for shitty formatting am on mobile

- jamie running while tied to roy’s bike in the opening

- jack giving the signed dickens first edition to keeley with the message to make her laugh

- “right?” “YES CHEF”

- sam wanting the restaurant to be absolutely perfect for his dad!!!

- more focus on sam this episode in general. i missed him in sunflowers!!

- beard’s total football powerpoint presentation

- trent’s funny little skeleton shirt :)

- “I WAS ROBBED!” jamie i would die for you

- “ITS MY MOTHER PROUDLY DISPLAYING HER VIBRATOR ON THE BEDSIDE TABLE!!!”

- barbra are you okay??

- keeley “oh we’re just good friends!!!” jones

- “how do you tell if a girl likes you or is just being nice?” “you can’t” x100

- “well marriage is a big commitment you know” “no im talking about pegging”

- the entire Pegging Conversation

- baz stating that his brother is a male whore

- “but luckily i’m in a good mood (: so you’ve only gotta do that for tHE WHOLE FUCKING PRACTICE!!!!”

- despite being in the background roy was an absolute gem this episode

- keeley being so awkward with jack

- jack declaring their relationship to the office

- barbra’s “no that’s enough dan, thank you”slay

- rebecca and keeley talking about mr amsterdam and jack

- “gezellig 🥰 but yeah i would have liked to have seen his penis”

- the comparisons between jack and rupert are making me nervous

- rebecca doesn’t want keeley to get hurt the same way she did 😭

- nate made his niece’s vision happen 🥺

- his rejection monologue

- brenda barot that evil woman

- sam was so polite in his call out but that bitch was awful to him

- nate’s awkwardness with jade

- “i like to eat my breakfast without chewing”

- beard and will switching places

- WILL’S PAPER BEARD

- poor leslie in this episode for nothing but burns

- tedtrent content

- lasso my man cool it with the heart eyes

- the hostess wondering where nate is

- THE DICK STRING????

- baz just wanted to be joined with his homies by the penis 😔

- ROY’S EVIL LITTLE GIGGLE

- HIS FACIAL EXPRESSION WHEN THEY THOUGHT JAMIE HURT HIS DICK

- his disappointment when jamie’s penis was okay

- GET THAT RACIST BITCH’S ASS SAM

- nate was so proud of his craft project! and it was adorable! and then he tripped and dropped it and it got run over!

- the fact that nate didn’t run away and still asked jade out despite making a fool out of himself in public says A LOT about his growth this season

- jade saying yes with no hesitation! and nate was so happy!

- the restaurant being destroyed fucking gutted me. sam’s devestation and sisi’s quiet anger. god.

- return of the Gay Mug™️

- “next time we do this drill, we tie multiple guys’ dicks to one guy’s dick”

- ted looking at trent like he’s the single most important person in the world. tedtrents we are FEASTING this episode

- toheeb jimoh fucking blew me away this episode. the way he portrayed sam’s rage and heartbreak and frustration was incredible.

- sam’s dad being so open and warm and kind and loving in a show largely about shitty fathers. sam breaking down in his arms and ola just holding him. can this man adopt me please?

- “you do it for yourself.”

- “don’t fight back. fight forward.”

- the awkwardness between ola and rebecca cause sam told him about sleeping with her. tension so thick you could cut it with a mf butter knife

- the bar trio having full trust in ted and the team

- “since i was a straight fella” yeah okay mr ted “heart eyes for trent independent” lasso

- mustache lore

- “ass-squatch.” “you’re on fire :)” “make it stop” the AGONY in roy’s eyes

- return of the middle finger! trent rubbing his face as he flips jamie off lmao

- ur so right jamie let me kiss you on the mouth as a treat

- “but for the first time in weeks, the greyhounds are showing signs of life!”

- TRENT’S ENTIRE TOTAL FOOTBALL MONOLOGUE. sweaty, out of breath, hair a disaster, babbling intelligently about how it’s going to work.

- “doesn’t even matter what number four is (awkward arm gesture)”

- “what a fucking dork” “yeah. but he’s our dork <3”

- NATES DATE!!! ADORABLE!

- THE TEAM WORKING TOGETHER TO FIX THE RESTAURANT i could kind of see it coming but STILL! THEY LOVE AND SUPPORT SAM SO MUCH!! AND SAM DESERVES ALL OF IT!!!

- “well, we all just asked ourselves “what does the situation need?”” “and we thought your situation needed us :)”

- ola was so touched that sam named the restaurant after him <3

- the episode ending with sam, ola, and simi dancing around and cooking while the himbos have a blast in the dining room. chefs kiss. perfect episode start to finish

[leporidae-station]

Remnant Kids Concepts of White Rabbit and Shadow Freddy! Both are purely made out of remnant and agony. They have a fairly important role in my au and have ties to the timeline. White Rabbit: This little bunny fella is always willing to help make things right! White Rabbit was created after the first missing children's incident, taking their form because of their remnant. Like the Puppet and Shadow Bonnie, they do their best to make the children feel better and help them move on. Consider them as the cheerleader of the group and making a positive outlook on things. They're good friends with Shadow Freddy, but is annoyed with his constant pestering and meddling to make Afton pay. White Rabbit is completely gone after the spirits were finally free, and they don't return afterwards.

Shadow Freddy: The black bear cub has been around even before both MCIs. Shadow Freddy was created by both the agony of William and Michael after Evan (Crying Child) died. He was more so influenced by William's agony, having experienced his grief over the death of his child and his anger towards his older son. This is what lead to Shadow Freddy to torment Michael in his dreams. Later on, he switched over to the MCI after being exposed to their agony. Shadow Freddy is arrogant and is quick to say his opinion, but he wants the ghost children to be free. He likes White Rabbit enough that they both try to make the kids move on, but his methods are leaning more to get rid of Afton. Shadow Freddy then breaks off from Shadow Bonnie to get his vengeance over William with Cassidy instead.

[arthurcxllahan]

Arthur wasn’t expecting it when Helena spun around. Sure, a struggle. And maybe a knife at some point. But when one suddenly plunged deep into his shoulder fat, he let out a pained growl and threw them both off his horse. 

The struggle was fast and it ended with Helena straddling him, thrusting the blade down into his chest. Small mercies that he managed to twist his body far enough to catch the second blow in the arm. ‘Fuck!’ He bucked Helena off and stood, blood soaking his torn shirt and a knife sticking from his second wound. 

‘Fuck,’ he repeated as he grimaced at the injuries. But it sounded like an inconvenience more than the agony it was. 'Goddamnit, woman.'

Grumbling, Arthur drew his pistol and aimed it at Helena’s head. ‘Get my damn rope. You’re getting tied.’ 

He could already hear what the other fellas would say. They’d ask why he didn’t strip the girl down just to be sure. His respectfulness wasn’t quite working out. 

Helena’s breathing was erratic as she felt Boadicea begin to gallop harshly towards the tree line of the forest, her hands still fumbling around her pocket as she gasps desperately as she felt faint. The young brunette desperately as she manages to finally secure her grip on the handle of her knife as she desperately gasps while she draws the weapon. Clutching her hand tightly around the knife she immediately attempts to turn towards him.

Finally she feels the mare slow to the point where turning was immediately possible. Drawing her knife she thrust it towards his chest, ready to kill him to protect herself if need be.

“Get away from me! You have no right!!!!!” She immediately screams out

Helena wasn’t the strongest person in the world which made it horrid for in this whole situation. Adrenaline would give her a bit more of a chance but she still was a woefully outmatched by the outlaw who likely could and would shoot her in the head without a second thought.

But she would rather die fighting than let this man take her to do lord knows what.

The young woman thrusts her knife down towards his chest, ready to plunge the cold metal through his heart to free herself, she knew the way back to town so she could just run before any accomplices hopefully showed up.

[thenewnio]

Fantasia Knights funny moments from my favorite episodes

Lucky, Lucky Snake

Think Kaa is safe from being put through the wringer as a human? Think again.

Enzo: (to Human!Kaa, who is sprawled on the ground, unconscious) You okay there, buddy?

Birds of a Feather

This exchange, after they save Iago from the angry merchant:

Iago: Who are you guys?

Taylor: (gently) We’ve come to save you. Come with us…

(A beat, before Iago abruptly flies off)

Iago: Don’t talk ta me wit’ that voice!

Enzo: (shit-eating grin) A bird just rejected you, dude.

Genie’s first appearance, when he flies into the room and jubilantly hugs Kian, mistaking him for Aladdin. At one point he asks, “Hey Al, did you get shorter?”

“We’ve got a slight problem: Aladdin and Iago swapped species, so Al’s now a blue macaw, and Iago’s… the cutest thing you’ve ever seen.”

Iago: I AINT’ CUTE!

“BY THE POWERS THAT BE, I COMMAND YOU TO RETURN TO NORMAL!!!”

Human!Iago taking advantage of his situation while passing himself off as Jasmine’s brother. And it is amazing.

Iago: Ya might wanna be a bit nicer to me, considering the fact that I AM THE ONE IN CHARGE!

“YOU FOOL!”

Iago assumes that, because he’s a human now, he can approach Rajah without getting pounced on, as he attempts to secretly sic him on a stuck-up young caliph. However, Rajah knows who the red-haired boy is. No points for guessing how that turns out.

Iago: (to the caliph while noticeably battered) You win this round, bub.

Iago’s rant as he starts angrily stripping off the “royal” outfit Genie zapped up for him: “A dog show is where I DRAW THE LINE!”

And said “princely” outfit is what Human!Iago wore in the Broadway musical of Aladdin.

And Iago is wearing those clothes over what he was wearing when he became human.

This gem:

Enzo: YO, BIRD BOY!

Iago: WHAT?! (Realizes he just gave away his location to the Knights)

And immediately afterward Enzo tackles him like a football player.

“Words of wisdom” from Iago:

Iago: Sometimes, you just gotta run like heck from your problems.

The entire chase through the bazaar to rescue Iago from Muge’s mooks. Highlights include:

The burning fireworks cart.

The food merchant behind them ignoring the scene right in front of him and going on with his job. Obviously, this type of thing happens quite often in Agrabah.

Once Genie is called upon, things really get hysterical. The faces on Muge’s servants add to the hilarity.

Muge, as it turns out, is not happy upon learning that her retainers have kidnapped Iago.

Turan: Now, which is worse? Inconveniencing Agrabah, or dying alone and single?

Muge: KIDNAPPING THE PRINCESS’S BROTHER, YOU MORONS!

And in the background, Iago is trying unsuccessfully to free himself from the sack he’s been tied up in from the neck down, to no success. At one point, he tries chewing through the ropes, only to stop when he almost accidentally strangles himself.

An exasperated Iago desperately confessing that he’s not actually Jasmine’s brother, but a parrot. Muge’s disbelieving reaction is priceless.

“Wait, there’s more! I’M SCUM! I once had a psychopath boss, I gamble at the Nest Egg, I ALREADY GOT A GIRL IN THE RAINFOREST!!!”

“TEN THOUSAND YEARS OF AGONY UPON YE!!!” (Ass Shove) “Oops.”

Where the Deer and the Antelope Play

Enzo entering the saloon, making one hell of an impression:

Patron: Hey! Are you the fella who took down them Stonehart brothers?

Enzo: Yeah, I got ‘em with one bullet.

Patron#2: All seven of them?

Enzo: ...Yup. All seven of 'em.

The story he comes up with to explain his supposed feat is pretty hilarious too (what we get to hear of it, anyway).

Enzo: Bullet hits the pickaxe, ricochets back towards Stonehart number three, and THAT'S WHEN THE ROOF CAVED IN, igniting the fuel, instantly vaporizing his bodily form, leaving nothing but a burnt-black husk.

Patron#3: Hold on there, that's only six. What happened to number seven?

Enzo: Oh, well, obviously he died of gangrene.

After Maggie, Mrs. Calloway and Grace are turned human, Calloway demands that they be changed back. Taylor asks Enzo for the Animal Artifact:

Enzo: Ya mean the big, shiny medallion with the mouse insignia?

Taylor: Uh-huh.

Enzo: Exactly like the one those rustlers stole?

Taylor: Yup.

Enzo: ...Well, it got stolen.

Taylor: (Seeing Mrs. Calloway’s Tranquil Fury) So it did.

A great chunk of jokes in this episode are of Pearl’s girls getting used to their new human bodies:

Their first attempt at two-legged walking. Insert QWOP jokes here.

Mrs. Calloway tries to compose herself and look as dignified as possible... and comically walks right into the closed door.

Human Maggie taking a bite of an ear of corn like a cow and a passerby giving her a "WTF?" look.

And earlier, in a Funny Background Event, she’s clearly checking out her.... uh... “human udders.” And then she motions Grace over for a look. Both are clearly unimpressed at what they see.

When the Knights and bovine-turned-humans spot Jose, Maggie gets down on all fours and prepares to charge him.

When the group comes across the Granger Gang’s secret lair, and River is inspecting the locked entrance.

River: This is either gonna take a lot of our magic, or some good lockpicking skills to-

Maggie: UH OH, CLUMSY ME! (shoulder smashes down the door)

(River stands there with a shocked look on her face)

The entire chase/fight scene with the Granger Gang and the heroes counts as both a CMOF and CMOA.

This exchange:

Kian: Who wants a story where the bad guys win?

Jose: I do! It’s called a ‘change of pace’! Let me spell it out for ya: We’ve got you outnumbered! Right boys? (turns around to see the rest of the gang running away screaming) ...Boys? Aw, dangit!

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

The Key to Your Heart (Part 18 of 18)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes X Reader | The Winter Soldier X Reader

Chapter word count: 1.3 K

Summary: Joining the Avengers wasn't on your plans. Not until Steve asked you to help his best friend. Bucky was Bucky, but the Winter Soldier still came from time ti time, bringing with him chaos and destruction. And you was supposed to keep that side of him away... But what happens when both Bucky and the Winter Soldier start to enjoy your company more than anyone else? Should you turn your back on the Soldier, ignore his own fears and traumas? That's exactly what everyone wants. But you were never known for following orders...

<- Previous part (17)

{Marvel Masterlist}

Chasing Nightmares Away

“Oh my God, he's sucking.” You exclaim with relief.

William finally came into your arms yesterday, after five hours in agony. Banner said it wasn't even that much, but it felt like forever. And it got a while for him to latch. But it finally happened, and it looks like he's fine, finally being fed. “Look! He's sucking.”

Bucky immediately comes to your side, sitting on the bed next to you, looking at the baby. You're already back in your room, comfortable in your bed. You moved into Bucky's room, and William got yours until the new apartment area on the East side of the compound is ready. “Hey, little fella. You're finally filling up your belly.” Bucky says, caressing William's cheek. “He's beautiful.”

“He is.” Smiling, you lie your head on his shoulder. “I can't believe he's here with us.” The baby in your arms is so small, and you hold him like he's as fragile as glass. “So tiny.”

“Very tiny, yes.” He chuckles, holding you close. “This is unbelievable. I'm a father.”

“He's going to say ‘mommy’ first.” Quickly, you add, ignoring the eye roll you get.

“No way, doll.”

“Oh, you'll see.”

“Wanna bet?”

“Definitely.” You agree, shaking his hand. “I–”

“How's the new mommy and daddy?” Natasha comes in suddenly, with Wanda right behind her. They don't knock anymore, they're too excited to remember to.

“The boys want to come in but I see you're in a delicate position over there,” Wanda says, walking closer and looking down at the baby.

“Oh, he latched,” Nat says, opening the door a little. “Boys, he latched.”

Her voice is followed by some yells and ‘congratulations’. Well, it's not like you can have much privacy when you brought the first baby into the Avengers family. But you actually like it. Your baby will have a lot of superheroes to look after him and teach him to be a noble, righteous person.

“Shhh,” Wanda says as Nat closes the door. “How are you feeling?”

“Relieved.” You breathe out, smiling at them. “He's beautiful. Isn't he?”

“Not thanks to the father,” Nat says with a mean smile at Bucky. “Do you think he'll have your powers?”

“I didn't stop to think about it.”

“It's in your genes. He might get it.” Bucky says, placing a kiss on your head.

“Aunt Wanda will love to teach him.”

“He will be a badass,” Nat adds.

“Of course, he will. Did you ever see his father fighting?” Looking at the baby, you bounce him a little, very delicately, to have a better grip. “He will be the strongest Avenger, won't he?”

William moves his hand, eyes closed, and Bucky gives him his finger, which he holds. “He's strong.”

“Super soldier genes.” You tease him, smirking. William slowly stops sucking, falling asleep. “He's down.” Fixing your clothes, you jerk your chin to the door. “Let the boys come in or they might die.”

Wanda nods, and when the door is opened, the room gets crowded. You can't help but smile as they bend over a little to see the baby. Not that they didn't see him before, right after he was born, but everyone is excited about William. The kid will have a lot of uncles and aunts. And, since you don't have any siblings by blood, it makes you very happy.

You let Steve pick William up, rocking him from side to side, and some of the attention drifts to you. “They're going to spoil him so bad.”

“Oh, that they will. I'm sure they–” Bucky is suddenly cut off by your phone's alarm. “Shit.”

“Hey. It was an agreement. And it's fair for everyone involved.” You tell him, turning the alarm off. When you got back home, after a dozen of exams to make sure both you and the baby were alright, you had to sit with Bucky, and then the Soldier, to talk. And after a couple of hours, the three of you came up with an agreement.

Each one of them will stay for exactly a week. Every Sunday at noon, they switch. They weren't 100% happy with it, but this way both get always the same time with you and the baby. And right now, Bucky's time is over.

“I love you.” You say, pulling him close to kiss him. “See you in a week.”

“I love you, doll.”

And then, he closes his eyes, breathes in, and, as simple as that, when he opens his eyes again, it's the Soldier. “Hey, you.”

“Hello, angel.” Another kiss, and a hand caressing your cheek. “Why are there so many people here?”

“William latched. And well, we have a big family. Let them have their turn putting him to sleep.” Keeping your voice soft, you hold his hand. The Soldier is still learning, but as Tony likes to put it, you tamed him. But you don't like that word. What you did, nobody knows how, was make him fall in love with you. And love, far stronger than everything, made him overcome his past. The Soldier is learning to put everything aside, learning to love your family through you.

“Good.” He says, nodding. “How are you feeling?”

“Tired. Spent the whole night up trying to make him latch.” Closing your eyes, you lie your head on his chest.

“Get out, she wants to sleep.” The Soldier says, and you open your eyes again, chuckling.

“Well, someone needs to blurp him. And then put him in his crib and well, guys, I do need to get some sleep.” You say with an apologetic look.

“I'll do it,” Nat says, taking the baby from Sam.

“I can't wait to play with him.” He says, smiling at the baby. “When will he start to walk?”

“And talk?” Thor adds, standing behind Nat and waving at William.

“Oh, God.” Giggling, you cover your mouth when a yawl comes. “It'll take a while, sorry.”

“Let's go, baby? Mommy needs to rest.” Nat says, walking out. “The rest of you too.”

It doesn't take much until you're left alone, eyes closed again as the Soldier moves you into a lying position. “I want more.” He suddenly says, and you furrow your eyebrows. “Maybe two more.”

“Who would've thought?” You smile, sighing. “I made a father out of the Winter Soldier.”

“A father, a husband.” He says, caressing your back. “You made me someone better. Chased away from the nightmares, cured me.”

“I don't know how but... I'm happy I helped you.”

“Me too, angel. Now rest up, you had a lot of work lately. I'll be here when you wake up.”

“Mhmm... I love you.” You mutter, a hand on his chest as you take him his warmth.

“I love you, angel.”

Your dreams are filled with what you expect from the future. Babies running around through the compound, laughing, playing. You do want more kids, a couple more at least. And you can't wait for whatever the future holds, because, with Bucky, the Soldier, your baby, and your huge, crazy family, it'll be good. There won't be any obstacles you won't be able to overcome with them by your side.

You need to thank Steve. If it wasn't for him, you'd never join the Avengers, and you wouldn't be here right now, sleeping in the arms of the love of your life, with your son only a few feet away. He's the best brother you could ever have, and for everything that happened ever since you came here, you'll forever be thankful to him.

@hi-im-fan-trash @takeabreathdeath @pre-google @thespeeder @heavenly1927 @marvel-fanfic-writer-8675 @insidxangel @winters1917 @plethoravellichor @meggiesposts @hollie911 @saranghaey @lexi-anastasia @lechaircharles @mememe7147 @sofi1sstuff @lokisasgardianvampirequeen @sophiaj650 @michaelmyerswife @wigglywoos59 @almosttoopizza

[darkmatter-nebula]

My dear fellas, I present you now the long awaited drabble about my Golden Guard OC Danny. It takes place long before Colli was saved by Luz and King. Here I go!

Lost But Now Found AU: The Tragic Story Of A Brave Young Grimwalker

It was a stormy night on the Boiling Isles. Danny, the Golden Guard was on patrol. His blonde hair was tied up to a ponytail. He didn't wear his mask, a large scar was over his right eye. His magenta eyes seemed to glow in the dark.

Suddenly, the boy heard a noise. It sounded like soft whimpering. He decided to investigate. He followed the whimpering which turned more and more into painful sobs. Danny was worried. Someone was apparently in tremendous pain! He needed to find the person, so that he could help whoever it was.

Danny was now standing in front of a wall. There was a hidden chamber behind it! "Strange. I didn't know that this room even existed!" He said to himself. He looked for a way to open the door. Then, he found out that it can be opened with a secret button.

The blonde boy finally managed to open the door and was immediately shocked upon what he was seeing now! In the middle of the room was a really weird looking chair, on the chair sat a little boy! He had shackles around his wrists and ankles. He was sobbing and was definitively in horrible agony! The chair seemed to drain the child off all of his powers!

The child spoke weakly a single sentence. "Who are you?" "I don't know what you're doing here little guy, but I'll untie you!" Danny said, determined to save this mysterious boy. He was pulling on the shackles but they didn't loosen up! "Hello, Daniel." Belos was suddenly behind him! "Uncle Belos, who is this child? Why is he bound to this thing?"

Belos whispered into Danny's ear. "Oh Daniel, what a shame! I thought you would've lasted longer than the others..." Danny felt a sharp pain in his chest, Belos just stabbed him! The last he saw was the shocked and terrified expression on the little boy's face...

The End

[etlunainmorte]

DMC WEEK DAY 2: Monster | Cryptid | Demon ( Dante )

~ My next entry for the DMC WEEK, which is monster, cryptid, and Demon, featuring Dante!

~ Light warnings compared to DMC WEEK DAY 1. However, if you easily get disturbed or squeamish at the mention of blood, or nasty crawlies, then this fic is not for you. Please, proceed with caution. The "explicit language" warning is up but, other than that, this entry is made to be corny and a bit cheesy. Enjoy!

***

"Ten years, Dante! Ten years! And you still suck at Poker?!"

Dante winced and waved his opponent off, unable to withstand Patty's presence in his office.

Yes, the girl has just turned eighteen. Despite that, it didn't stop her from going back to Devil May Cry from time to time to annoy Dante. Well, mostly she would just watch her favorite shows on his little television. Sometimes, she would offer to clean his office for a price like how she used to. However, on rather special occasions where the teenager finds out about Dante's gigs, she would rile him up to no end to make him play Poker with her. And, by Jove, she always wins the game.

The girl was definitely right. Ten years of their unusual friendly relationship and Dante has yet to beat her in that card game. It might be because the girl has become even smarter than ever before due to Lady and Trish's influence, or Dante has just lost his fire with games such as this.

"Now, you owe me - "

"Whatever! Ugh,... " Dante went to his chair and collapsed on it, putting his feet up on the table and snatching the magazine before him.

"You sound like a sore loser." Patty answered as she went towards the little television and turned it to her favorite channel.

"Why don't you just go out with your buddies or boyfriend, huh?" Dante added as he grumpily turned another page of his magazine.

"Oh, jeez, Dante! Who are you? My dad?" Patty laughed as she comfortably settled on the floor. "For your information, I don't have a boyfriend. Don't need one because I can perfectly protect myself!"

"Sure."

"Oh, and now you have to take me out shopping! That's your punishment for losing, Dante."

The man brought his magazine down and threw deadly stares at the teenager who was always invading his personal space. "Is this your revenge for ditching you on that birthday party of yours?"

"Whoa, you can't be serious!" Patty turned away from the screen to raise an eyebrow at the Devil Hunter. "For that one, you'll have to give me a year's worth of your strawberry sundae!"

"I shouldn't have asked." Dante said and clicked his tongue, picking up his magazine once more and putting his focus back to it.

Patty snickered. She just enjoyed annoying Dante like that. The man was never really angry with her, and she honestly thought that he was the better company compared to most people her age, who knew nothing else other than sex and partying. She enjoyed hanging out with the Devil Hunter, and she couldn't imagine her life without her old friend, who always made her smile and laugh.

"Wow. Look at Ripley,... " Patty whispered in awe, her eyes entranced at the horror film being shown on the silver screen. "She's so badass, I wish I could be like her someday." She peeled her eyes off of Ripley and looked at her companion once more. "Hey, Dante!"

"What now?!"

"Take me on a mission some time."

Dante raised an eyebrow at her. "Absolutely not!"

"Aww, come on! I wanna see you become like Ripley!"

"Ripley?"

"Yeah! Wouldn't it be cool if you could say her most popular line from Alien?"

"And what is that line?"

"Get away from her, you bitch!" Patty recited the popular line with the most rugged tone of voice she could muster.

"Haha!" Dante laughed and brought his old magazine down, taking one slice of pizza from the box on his table and gobbling on it. "I have better lines than that!"

With furrowed eyebrows, Patty stood up, went towards Dante and took a slice of pepperoni special for herself. Taking a bite, she asked, "Like what?"

Dante chuckled and answered, "Jackpot!"

"That line again?!"

"That is loads better than Ripley's line! And I bet other cheap rip offs of Alien already had that line, it's gotten too old."

"Really?" Patty answered with much sarcasm.

Before Dante could even answer, the door violently opened, and a few moments later, a very sweaty and nervous - looking Morrison entered the shop.

"You could've at least knocked, Morrison!"

"Hey, what's wrong with Mr. Morrison?" Patty mused as she finished her pizza and went towards the man.

However, before Patty could even come close, Morrison stopped her in her tracks, holding up a trembling arm with his palm up.

"Don't - !" Morrison wheezed, clearly struggling with something. "Go near - !"

"You okay there, Morrison?" Dante, who just got off his chair, asked a moment later. And as a tasteless joke, he added, "Did an alien enter your body, or something - ?”

"It's,... CRAWLING!" All of a sudden, the poor broker yelled in agony as he collapsed on the floor, his hands taking hold of his left leg as if he was in deep, excruciating pain.

"Oh, my God!" Patty mumbled and was about to help the man when Dante stopped her from going closer to Morrison.

"Let me handle this." Dante said, kneeling next to Morrison. "Let me take a look at that, Morrison."

"It's,... CRAWLING! IT'S CRAWLING UNDER MY SKIN! I CAN FEEL IT!" Morrison howled, his sweat almost flooding his face.

"Shh! Shh! Relax,... " The Devil Hunter uttered the little words of encouragement that served as Morrison's only warning before his left pant was completely torn off from him, revealing a golf - ball sized thing underneath the part of the broker's skin where his pulsating purple veins became blaringly visible.

And he was right. The thing really was crawling.

And it was creeping up towards Morrison's upper thigh!

"It's like from Alien!" Patty shrieked in shock, stepping further away from the broker in fear of contact with whatever's inside Morrison.

"Patty, I need a string! Anything to tie Morrison's leg and stop this thing from moving!" Dante commanded like a general barking orders to a private officer.

"You mean a tourniquet?"

"Whatever! JUST MAKE IT QUICK!"

“Right!” Patty obliged as she ran to look for the thing.

"Okay, Morrison, I want you to relax. Breathe,... " Dante spoke as he took hold of the broker's leg, his left hand on his upper thigh, and his right hand near the ugly moving bulge. And he could definitely feel the thing struggling to get to the poor man's upper body. It's rather strong.

"HOW COULD I FUCKING RELAX?! THERE'S A THING IN MY BODY! I COULD FEEL IT CRAWLING - !"

"I know, I know. PATTY!"

"Here!" Patty handed Dante what looked like his telephone cord and he received this without any complain or hesitation, seeing the poor broker twitch and tremble with pain and fear. And with the cord, he proceeded to tie Morrison's upper thigh as tightly as he could, earning him a wide - eyed and terrified look from the broker.

"What are you doing?" Morrison nervously asked as he watched Dante secure the cord tied around his thigh. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!"

"I'm trying to help you!" Dante howled in answer, trying his best to not get annoyed with Morrison. "Patty, get my knife on my drawer. And my whiskey bottle. Quick!"

The moment Morrison heard the words knife and whiskey, he felt a heavy weight on his chest. He lost his consciousness. However, despite that, the thing still tried to get past the cord tied by Dante.

"Here." Patty handed the knife and Dante wasted no time in pointing the blade at the thing. And the moment it felt the blade on the broker's skin, its movements became much more erratic, as if it knew that it's going to die. And as soon as the blade started cutting through the poor broker's flesh, the man's eyes snapped open and he let out an agonizing scream of pain that pierced through Dante and Patty's eardrums.

"Patty, give him the whiskey!"

"R - right!" The girl nervously answered as she opened the bottle with trembling hands and proceeded to make Morrison drink its contents. The liquor burned a path down his throat, making him a little numb. And yet he still felt it when Dante went on cutting his flesh.

"Morrison, you have to help us here!" Dante howled as his eardrums were, once again, assaulted by the broker's screams and curses of pain. "Do you want this thing out or NOT?!"

The man winced, almost crying in pain. "I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THIS!" He, then, snatched the bottle of whiskey from Patty's hands and downed all of its contents in one gulp. Throwing the bottle away, he screamed, "DO IT!"

"Don't cry now, Morrison!" Dante answered with a grin, and with one swift movement, he was able to make a clean and straight cut of his flesh. One painful stab with the blade mere seconds later and the thing was finally out. It landed on the carpet next to Dante's television just in time when the baby alien burst out from one of the characters’ chest.

Its bloody body pink, fleshy, and pulsing, with little hairs protruding from it, and its numerous little arachnid - like feet still moving and twitching, it almost looked like a Nidhogg, but much longer.

And even more disgusting.

And the moment the little alien howled from the man's chest in the screen, the unknown creature stood up, raising its nasty looking little mandibles in the air, and screeched with such unearthly sound, its yellow saliva coming out of its mouth.

"OH, GOD!" Patty let out in disgust at the creature that came out from Morrison's leg, making the broker faint.

"You're not welcome here, little fella!" Dante taunted as he took out his Ebony and Ivory, pointing them at the creature. "I'm afraid to say it's adios!"

Everything happened so fast. The creature launched itself in midair towards Dante, its mouth slicing and opening up the size of an unfurled umbrella, its pair of mandibles growing a few inches, ready to devour the Devil Hunter's head.

But, the man in red was much faster, and much more agile. With a few Ebony and Ivory rounds shot at the creature's mouth, the thing went down, dead and still somehow twitching like a swatted insect.

And the moment the creature stopped twitching, Patty and Dante heard a louder screech coming outside the building. The unknown noise went on for almost a minute, and when it finally stopped, they felt tremors on the ground as if something huge just moved and ran away.

"It's the Alien Queen!" Patty announced, amazed and frightened at the same time.

Dante hid the pair of guns and took out his most powerful weapon, the Rebellion. "Alright, kid, stay here and don't leave Morrison behind!"

"I told you! I'm no longer a kid!" The teen retorted behind Dante's back as the man went out to hunt the Alien Queen.

And, sure enough, the Devil Hunter found the much larger creature outside, towering like an Empusa Queen, looking twice as ugly as her,...

... and looking just as pissed as the Xenomorph alien Ripley has to defeat.

"You, uhh, got a thing for the broker or something?" Dante quipped with a smile, the thrill of a good fight starting to excite every fiber of his being. And with a swish and flair of the Rebellion, he beckoned the monster towards him with his finger. "Hate to say this but,...

... get away from Morrison, you bitch!"

***

The news about Morrison's near death experience at the hands of a new class of Demon they now call, "Xenomorph" ( named after the alien in the movie ), reached the others as soon as daybreak hit. With investigations conducted by Trish, Lady, Nero, V, and Vergil, they found out that the Xenomorph stalks its prey, and using its minions, the smaller versions of itself in the form and size of a small spider, it enters the prey by penetrating the skin, mostly from the lower torso, and staying there for at least a few more hours until the creature inside grows enough for it to be able to travel to the victim's brain. Further investigations also revealed that when the creature takes over the victim's brain, it would be able to control the person, bringing the unfortunate prey towards the Xenomorph's nest against their own free will, ready to be devoured by the Demon Queen, herself. More studies showed that the Xenomorph had other uses for the prey's body aside from her nourishment. It was said that she would also use the body as a "breeding ground", laying her eggs there and waiting for them to hatch. Then, these little Xenomorphs would consume the body from the inside, organs, fluid, and all, little by little, until such time when they are big enough and ready to come out.

But, of course, Dante and the rest prevented Morrison from knowing all this until he was well enough to handle any information of the thing that entered his body and almost killed him that one night.

And Patty? Let's just say she stopped watching sci - fi movies with aliens in it and went back to her old favorites, which were romcoms that Dante found utterly cheesy and corny.

***

@dmcweek

***

[citrine-elephant]

The Pit - Chapter 1

Zane hit the gas, swerving around the outcrop as his fellow Vault Hunters held on tight, cheering and hollering on. He didn’t have time to think as he caught sight of the rocket heading straight towards the technical. It hit the side of the vehicle, ripping through the metal like a saw blade through melted butter. The operative felt heat cross his body as he was thrown from the driver’s seat, catching one last glimpse of his fellow Vault Hunters tossed into the air, the wall of the explosion behind them and shrapnel flying out. His body hit the ground first with an audible crack, then his head slammed into the dust. Everything went black after that.

/////

Ringing filled the man’s ears. His head spun as he tried to grasp reality, in and out, in and out. Zane reached out his arm to pull himself forward, falling back into the dust as his vision went out again. As he came to once more, his eyes caught sight of his friends lying on the ground far out of reach. He wasn’t sure if they were dead or unconscious at this point, but he felt a panic in his throat.

“Amara…” Zane wheezed, reaching his hand out again, trying desperately to pull himself towards them, “Moze… FL4K…”

Zane caught sight of movement in the distance. Shapes that didn’t make any sense to his dazed mind… at first. But then, he saw them. Bandits.

“Amara…! M-Moze… FL4K…!” the operative squawked out, managing to finally pull himself an inch forward. 

Shite, bandits were on their way and his friends were… status unconfirmed…

Zane tried to get up, but his body wouldn’t respond. Shite, shite, shite! The operative hissed through his teeth as he pulled himself another inch forward, feeling a sharp jolt through his side. Something wasn’t right. His body was not working like it should. He was familiar with pain and agony, but this? This was something else. He’d never been so close to death before. 

The bandits were fast approaching. A whole hoard of them, all rushing forward. Psychos, tinks, goliaths, bruisers, maulers… It had to have been the entire clan heading towards the Vault Hunters…

The operative let his head fall back down into the dust. He was exhausted and in pain and just wanted to know if his friends were even alive or not. As he watched the bandits come closer and closer, he knew he had to act fast. Hands reached for where he kept his remote digistructor, but… it wasn’t there. He tried to send out SNTNL, but it wouldn’t summon. Of course, his luck was down.

The sound of the bandits grew louder and louder when suddenly Zane noticed his remote digistructor in the dust, some distance from him. A feat large and great for his tormented body, but not impossible. The operative bared his teeth as he began to crawl, one arm after the other, inch by inch, towards his gadget. Louder and louder, the bandit’s war cries grew, and closer and closer he got… but why did it seem so far away?

“What do we have here, fellas? A couple a’ dead Vault Hunters?” Zane wasn’t too late, he had to keep trying. He couldn’t give up now, he was just a foot away, all he had to do was keep going, keep crawling, keep-

“Hey, hey! This one’s still alive!” one of the bandits called as footfalls in the sand grew close.

Zane’s fingertips touched the remote digistructor right before it was kicked from his reach. Shite, he really was too late. 

“Not so fast, old man!” the man’s smile was heard in his voice. 

The bandit crouched down, picking up the remote digistructor. He was masked, clothed like a regular old bandit. The bandit wasn’t very remarkable, but the crowd was intimidating in the Vault Hunter’s state. 

“Without your little toys, you’re worthless, ain’t ya?” the bandit teased, tossing the gadget up in the air and catching it. 

“Feck you…” Zane spat, his fist clenched in the dust. He watched as the other bandits surrounded his friends… No… No! “Get away from them!” 

The crowd of bandits started to pick at the other Vault Hunters like vultures, pulling whatever they could off of them.

“Ya bloody bastards!” the operative hissed, making an attempt to lunge forward before a foot stomped hard on his spine. He let out a cry of pain.

“Tsk, tsk, tsk, blondie…” the bandit behind him scolded, “You’re not going nowhere.”

“I’ll kill ye!” Zane cried out as he tried to pull himself from under the bandit, reaching his hands out desperately to crawl forward, “I’ll kill all of ye!” 

“Sure you will,” the bandit in front of him practically rolled his eyes through his mask. The masked bandit motioned his head towards the one with his foot on Zane’s back.

The weight on the operative’s back shifted as a knee dug right into his spine. Zane gasped as the weight dug into his back, hands wrapping around his wrists. 

“What are ya doing?! Get your hands off of me!” the Vault Hunter commanded, struggling to pull his hands free, but the man holding them was stronger.

Zane’s hands were pulled behind his back as he cried out, rope wrapping tightly around his wrists before he could even think. He grimaced as the ropes were pulled tighter, his fingertips beginning to tingle. 

“I said get off of me!” the operative demanded, writhing with as much strength as he could muster, which wasn’t very much, “Let me go!”

“Get his legs,” the bandit on Zane’s back commanded.

Hands took hold of his legs. The Vault Hunter would have kicked if he could muster the strength in his legs. All he could do was yell as the ropes tightened around his ankles, until they took that away from him.

A hand grasped the man’s jaw and forced it open. Another hand shoved a rag into his mouth before pulling it tight behind his head. Zane tried to speak, to protest, but all that came out was muffled nonsense. 

“What do we do about the others?” one of the bandits asked.

“Leave ‘em to the skags. We got what we came for,” the one on Zane’s back responded, before the weight lifted. 

Before he knew it, the operative was being moved, dragged through the dust by his legs. He cried out a muffled sound and struggled to free himself, but it was all useless. He was alone… But as Zane was being taken away from the scene, his eyes caught sight of his friends. One last look at them… And another set of eyes looking back at him...

Amara was still alive.

/////

Zane struggled in the grasp of the bandits, having gained some sense of strength back, before he was tossed through a doorway. The door slammed shut just as the operative slammed onto the concrete, unable to catch his fall on account of still being tied up. 

A grunt escaped past the gag as he felt blood drip down his chin from the fall. Zane strained himself to sit up, finding that familiar sharp pain in his side as he tried. He gave up trying to sit up and instead tugged his legs up towards his chest and reached his hands down towards his ankles. One way or the other, he was getting out of those ropes.

Zane’s fingers latched onto the rope, reaching blindly around the bindings for the knot. As soon as his fingers caught it, he went at it trying to untie it. He tugged and pulled and soon, he loosened it. The operative worked quick at pulling the ropes off of his legs.

Now, the hard part. Zane tried once more to lift himself up, but the pain in his side was something else. He hissed through the gag as he forced himself up, pushing himself through the agony that soon erupted. The operative cried out as he finally got to his knees, stopping there. He doubled over, unable to tend to the injury. But he had to move. He had to get his hands free and he had to get out of there. 

Zane took a moment to breath before pushing up on one leg, moving the other. With a struggle to keep his balance, he made it to his feet, taking a second to make sure he wouldn’t fall over and crack his head on the cement floor. 

The operative managed to stay balanced. He took a glance around his small enclosure, looking for anything to cut his binds. Bandits were keen to leave a mess anywhere and they would have surely left something sharp around.

Bingo!

Zane’s eye caught the wall. Metal sheeting was propped up against it. It was unassuming, not something to really think about a captive using for escape, but the operative knew a thing or two that the bandits didn’t. Quickly, he moved towards the sheet. His mind had to think without his hands as he tried to figure out how to move the sheet so that he could cut the ropes. The operative thought for a second, before realizing what he would have to do. 

Zane kicked over the metal sheeting onto the floor, before kneeling down. He took a second to collect himself before he let himself fall onto his side, a cry ripping through his throat. The man hissed and groaned, writhing on the cement, before he forced himself to move. 

The Vault Hunter inched his body towards the sheet of metal, getting one hand under it and grasping it with the other. He lifted it up as much as he could and wiggled his leg under it, propping it between his legs. The man went to work as soon as he got the sheet in place, rubbing the ropes on the edge. 

Bam! The ropes gave way and soon he tugged his hands free, immediately reaching for the cloth in his mouth and pulling it away. Zane coughed and spat, throwing the cloth away from him as he lay there, breathing. 

But again, he couldn’t stop there. The operative was now unbound, but he was not free. Not yet. He could now get to his feet easier, but it was still a struggle. The man rolled onto his stomach, pushing up on his hands. The pain bursted in his side again, but not as bad as before. He groaned as he pushed himself to his knees and then up to his feet. 

Now was the time to make a plan. Zane looked around again, seeing… not much. There were scattered papers and posters, a broken toilet, and piles of litter in one of the corners. The man sighed and went for the pile. He had to look for something, something other than his fists, to defend himself. 

Digging in the mess, he didn’t find much. Just boxes and trash. But then, a broken shard of glass! Perfect! It would give him a fighting chance, it would give him something. Sure, they had guns, but if he could just get out of this room, he knew he could get his hands on a gun. 

That’s when he noticed his face reflecting in the shard. Handsome as always, but looking worse for wear. Dried blood caked the side of his face and down from his nose while fresh blood scarred his chin. Bruises dusted his skin, lining his cheek and chin. 

Zane took a moment to really look at himself. His clothes… They were in tatters from the explosion. Cuts and scratches lined his body. Dried crimson speckled his skin. Bruises marked him. Hell, he probably had broken a few ribs, now that he thought about it. 

Shite, he wasn’t looking too good… But he had to get out of there any way he could. 

Then he remembered Amara. Amara was still alive. The Siren… If she was still alive, there was a chance Moze and FL4K were, too. And there was also a chance they would be looking for him. 

Zane couldn’t rely on an outside rescue, however. He had to focus on what he could do now, instead of sitting around and rotting in that prison. He took the shard of glass and walked towards the door.

All he had to do was wait.

/////

The door swung open. As soon as the bandit entered the room, Zane moved. He lunged towards the thinly built man, ramming the shard into the bandit’s eye socket. The bandit lurched back, a scream ripping though his throat as his hands wrapped around the glass. Zane took his opportunity and shoved his body into the captor, pushing him out of the way. The operative ran. 

“Hey!” a voice shouted.

“Get him!” another called.

Luckily, Zane was quick on his feet. He had found his strength through the couple of hours of waiting, his adrenaline pumped through his veins. He was making it out of there. 

The operative rammed his body into the bandit blocking his way, taking him to the ground. Pain ripped through his side again, but Zane fought through it, tearing the gun from the bandit’s hands. He turned the SMG towards the bandit and fired, his head splitting open and brains exploding onto the ground. Quickly, the operative pushed himself off the bandit and stumbled to run, managing to catch his feet right. 

The man darted up the stairs of the bunker, firing at every bandit he saw and pushing them aside as he moved. He couldn’t stop. He had to move.

Zane took a turn, a mistake he quickly regretted. It was a large, open room, with the roof cracked, letting in the Pandoran sunlight. It was filled to the brim with bandits.

Quickly, the operative ducked behind a large wooden box as bullets flied.

“The Vault Thief escaped!” a bandit cried.

“Don’t let him get away!” called a different voice.

“Try and catch me!” Zane yelled, peeking his head above to fire. 

The operative fired his weapon, spraying the crowd and hitting a few. The bandits fell down with screams as Zane took cover once again. 

“Keep him alive, idiots!” a deep voice boomed, “Stop firing!”

“He’s gonna kill US, though!” 

“I want him ALIVE, damn it!” the deep voice demanded.

Zane peered from cover to fire again. He hit another bandit before his gun ran dry.

Shite!

The operative thought to himself how to move forward. He was stuck, but if they didn’t want to kill him, maybe he could run…

Zane looked around the box to the room and made his decision. He lunged into a run and sprinted back from where he came in an attempt to correct his wrong turn. No luck as the bullets flew by, a hoard of bandits were coming up the stairs as well.

The operative tossed the gun into the crowd before taking his chances further through the bunker. He ran past the bandit filled room and down a hallway, facing yet another set of stairs. This set, however, had light at the top. Zane ran for it. 

Voices shouted from below as Zane gunned it. He made it to the top, but his luck did not return there. A bandit camp, and he was right in the middle of it. The operative stopped for only a second to curse under his breath, then quickly moved again, trying his best to avoid the fire. 

“Keep the old man alive!” that deep voice boomed over the speakers, “Do NOT kill him or I’ll skin the bastard who does alive and feed their eyes to my skags!” 

The fire stopped and all went quiet, besides the sounds of the Vault Hunter’s footfalls in the dust. Then a loud pop. 

Zane hit the ground hard. He gasped for air, clawing at the ground, as he tried to catch his breath. Something was wrong, worse this time.

“You idiot!” that deep voice screamed, not through the speaker, but from a ways behind the operative.

The Vault Hunter felt himself bleeding. Heavily. 

“Goddamn it, he better be alive, or I’ll have your scalp!” the voice was closer. 

Zane could feel the bullethole in his flesh. Right in his back. He could feel the warmth of blood pooling around him and flowing from the wound.

“Hey!” the voice called from behind him, “Hey, old man!” 

The operative gasped in, fists digging into the sand.

“Vault Thief, are you still with us?” the voice was over top of him now.

The figure came into view. Crouching in front of Zane was a fairly built man, dressed in bandit robes and a makeshift crown. His hair was dark, long, and flowing and his eyes stood out. A bright, almost glowing, light blue.

Zane’s head was suddenly pulled off the ground by his hair. 

“Blondie?” the bandit royal asked, looking into Zane’s pained eyes.

Zane groaned, grasping at the bandit’s robes.

“Oh good, you’re still with us. I’m sorry about that bullet. My crew’s going to get a talking to about that one…” the dark haired bandit apologized.

The operative felt himself slipping. 

“Hey! Don’t pass out of me!” the bandit demanded, using his other hand to slap the man across the face, “You’re not out of the clear. You killed some of my men in your little escape attempt.” 

“Go… feck yourself…” Zane croaked out with as much energy as he could summon.

“Cute,” the bandit smiled, dropping his head. 

The operative’s head fell into the dust and he let out a grunt.

“Get him fixed up. And this time, don’t let him escape,” the leader, Zane presumed, called out to the other bandits.

The bandits soon swarmed on Zane. One particularly large bandit picked the operative up and slung him over his shoulder. Soon, they walked back towards the bunker, when Zane fell unconscious. 

/////

[sunnydaleherald]

The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter, Tuesday, December 4 - Wednesday, December 5

SPIKE: Must-See-TV. Bait's been taken. Trap's all set. The Slayer has landed. So... Hello??? Paging Dr. Owe Me One. ADAM: She's not alone. You've failed me again. SPIKE: Well, that's one way of looking at it. ADAM: What's the other way. SPIKE: Oh, come on! It's not like I wasn't trying! That's worth something, isn't it? ADAM: I suppose. Yes. I will honor our agreement to remove your chip. (to Forrest) Take his head off.

~~Primeval (Season 4)~~

[Drabbles & Short Fiction]

We Will Drive Through the Fire (Buffy/Spike, T) by rebcake

A Simple Spell (Willow/Tara, G) by badly_knitted

Accommodations (Xander, G, Devil May Cry xover) by madimpossibledreamer

Tick Tock (Buffy/Angel, G) by thenewbuzwuzz

Night Vale Home Depot commercial, Buffyverse edition (Buffy/Angel, G) by thenewbuzwuzz

liaising (Xander/Spike, T) by Spikedluv

RtVS: Episode Three - No work (Giles/Randall, Xander, M) by CantSpeakFae

Like Magic (Willow/Spike, M) by Hello_Spikey

Untitled (Buffy/Faith, unrated) by jenny-calendar

[Chaptered Fiction]

Brave and the Bold - Sunnydale Ch. 1/? (Buffy/Willow/Xander, E) by red_jacobson

The Dale, Ch. 1-5/? (Multiple Xander Pairings, E, Multiple xovers) by LLN3dseestheLight

Old Fashioned Fella (Xander, G, Multiple xovers) by calikocat

Seek a Desolate Shade, Chapter 5, Chapter 6 and Chapter 7 (Buffy/Spike, E) by Twinkles

Ruff Times, Chapter 13 (Buffy/Spike, T) by othellia

A Hellmouth Resurrection, Chapter 13 (Buffy/Spike, ) by SpindleKitten

Now for something a bit weird, Chapter 3 (Buffy/Spike, E) by Micrindle23

Ka-bump!, Chapter 1 (Buffy/Spike, ) by relurker

The Prodigal Boyfriend, Chapter 4 and Chapter 5 (Buffy/Spike, T) by myrabeth

Mortal Allies Series, Episode 2: Spike's a Good Boi, Chapter 8 (Buffy/Spike, T) by Passion4Spike

Safe, Chapter 19 (Buffy/Spike, ) by Dusty

Bring Him Home!, Chapter 4 (Buffy/Spike, M) by Loup Noir

See No Evil, Chapter 3 (Buffy/Spike, M) by BriarRose

Eye of Eleos, Chapter 12 (Buffy/Spike, M) by pfeifferpack

Resolutions, Chapter 13 (Buffy/Spike, E) by All4Spike

Route 666, Chapter 2 (Buffy/Spike, M) by bewildered

Ripples on a Hellmouth, Chapter 2 (Buffy/Spike, M) by stuffandnonsense

(k)Nickers Off Ready When I Come Home, Chapter 2 (Buffy/Spike, M) by stuffandnonsense

?

Workaround, Chapter 1 (Buffy/Spike, E) by joycometh

Something New, Chapter 1 (Buffy/Spike, E) by joycometh

Civilized monster, Chapter 9 (Buffy/Spike, E) by Axell

[Images, Audio & Video]

Artwork:Boom! Scoobies () by diwhitney

Artwork:Buffy () by bbyjesus

Artwork:Buffy () by bryerr

Artwork: Xander () by yourfavouritecolourisme

Artwork:Cover to an unpublished Drusilla miniseries () by stevemorrisart

Artwork:Spike () by krumla

Artwork:Andrew Wells () by ant-agony

Artwork: modern potentials | kasumi ito by tarastheory

Artwork: Jenny & Giles by jenny-calendar

[Reviews & Recaps]

Buffy Rewatchith: My thoughts and comments… Edition: Teacher’s Pet by mrsgordo730

Buffy Rewatchith: My Thoughts and comments…Edition: Never Kill A Boy on a First Date by mrsgordo730

PODCAST: FBTP 32: The Foulness by Fire Bad Tree Pretty

PODCAST: S4 E17 Superstar by Buffy Virgin

PODCAST: 4.13: The I In Team by Buffering the Vampire Slayer

PODCAST: Ep 84: Death and Other Gifts, A Recap by Slayerfest '98

PODCAST: S05E13 - Lie of Omission - Blood Ties by Pop Culture Role Call

PUBLICATION: Rewatching Buffy – Episode 89 Triangle by Confusing Middle

PUBLICATION: Rewatching Angel – Episode 33 by Confusing Middle

[Community Announcements]

Interest Check for Noel of Spike by sueworld2003

Seasonal Spuffy Round 25 - Fall 2018 - Index Post

Drabble Challenge 10: Mistletoe by sunnydalescribe

Free-for-all day on December 21st by seasonal-spuffy

by

Interest Check for Noel of Spike by sueworld

Prompt- Giving by fic-promptly

Prompt- Birthdays by fic-promptly

2019 Theme Suggestion Post by fancake

[Fandom Discussions]

Looking for Angel/Xander spell-gone-wrong fic by ext_4913565

Does anyone remember if it was ever said WHY the cult of Ul-Thar wanted Connor? by cornerofmadness

It's funny how fast emotions can turn by cornerofmadness

Xander and Angel by Multiple Authors

Would you ship it: Illyria/Anya, Gunn/Anne, Angel/Lorne? by thewigginsfanfic

The Cautionary Tale of Numero Cinco Headcanon by anarchxst

Jenny/Lilah reconnect post s2 by gallifrey-via-pylea

Angel and the furies by kyliafanfiction

Anti-Buffy/Angel Meta by fallin-on-your-knees

Boom! Canon speculation by lilyginnyblackv2

Boom! Canon Spike by lilyginnyblackv2

The Watcher's Council by scarlettablack

Buffy's Wardrobe by buffyslayer3

Reasonable objections by dreamsofghostsandstars

hc that giles and jenny don't get married by jenny-calendar

Bangel Video Recs by Carrie Hopewell

Was it Xander's fault that Buffy and Tara got shot? by Kristine

Dark Willow - Terrible Mistake or Neccessity? by WillowFromBuffy

Why the hell don't Willow and Tara get jobs? by famicommander

Would it have been more interesting to have had Fuffy in season 7 instead of Willow and Kennedy? by TamsinValencia

Opinions Wanted by DeadlyDuo

Buffy In The Fox Universe by white avenger

[Articles, Interviews, and Other News]

PUBLICATION: Scott Buoncristiano Homages “Hush” In Buffy The Vampire Slayer #3 Cover by Comicon

PUBLICATION: Buffy the Vampire Slayer #1 Pushed Back 2 Weeks to January 23rd by Bleeding Cool News

PUBLICATION: You Can Now Watch Every Episode Of Buffy The Vampire Slayer On Facebook Watch by Pretty 52

PUBLICATION: 11 questions about the political economy of Buffy the Vampire Slayer by The New Statesman

[naijastudio]

Kanye West Biography, Age And Net Worth

Kanye West is a Grammy Award-winning rapper, record producer, and fashion designer who is known for his outspokenness. Kanye West: Who Is He? Kanye West first rose to prominence in the music industry as a producer for well-known acts. With his 2004 debut, College Dropout, he demonstrated his rap ability, and albums like Late Registration (2005), My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy (2010), Yeezus (2013), and Yeezus (2014) confirmed his spot atop the hip hop world (2018). West is a Grammy Award winner who is also noted for his awards show antics, excursions into fashion, and his marriage to Kim Kardashian. Kanye West Life Style And Birth Kanye Omari West was born on June 8, 1977, in Atlanta, Georgia. Ray, his father, was a photojournalist for the Atlanta Journal and a member of the Black Panther Party; he eventually became a Christian counselor. Donda West, West's mother, was a teacher who went on to become a professor of English at Chicago State University and then her son's manager before dying in 2007 at the age of 58 from heart illness following cosmetic surgery. Her death would have a huge impact on West's musical career as well as his personal life. When West was three, Ray and Donda split amicably. Following that, he was reared by his mother in Chicago's middle-class South Shore neighborhood and spent summers with his father. West traveled to China with Donda when he was ten years old, where she taught as part of a university exchange program; he was the only foreigner in his class. West was lured to the South Side's hip-hop scene after returning to Chicago, and he befriended DJ and producer No I.D., who became his mentor. West received a scholarship to study at Chicago's American Academy of Art after graduating from Polaris High School, but he dropped out to pursue music full-time, a move that would later inspire the title of his first solo album. Kanye West Net Worth Net Worth: $6.6 Billion Date of Birth: Jun 8, 1977 (44 years old) Gender: Male Height: 5 ft 8 in (1.73 m) Profession: Record producer, Songwriter, Singer, Actor, Film Producer, Rapper, Businessperson, Screenwriter, Fashion designer, Music Video Director Nationality: United States of America Kanye West Music Career West created a trademark sound known as "chipmunk soul," which features sped-up soul samples, after spending time producing for local musicians. Following that, in 2001, he relocated to New York. He got his big break here, working on the production for Jay-song Z's "This Can't Be Life," which debuted on the album Dynasty: Roc La Familia in 2000. He reinforced his rising fame the following year by producing four songs on Jay Z's The Blueprint, widely regarded as one of the best rap albums of all time. West went on to create for other notable artists including as Mos Def, Talib Kweli, and Ludacris, as well as singers Alicia Keys and Beyoncé. West, on the other hand, was not content to be a sidekick. He aspired to be the main attraction, but found it difficult to be taken seriously as a rapper at first. He begged Roc-A-Fella Records to let him rap, but as co-founder Jay-Z told Time magazine later, "We were all raised as street kids who had to do whatever it took to get by. Then there's Kanye West, who, as far as I'm aware, has never worked a day in his life. I couldn't see how it could possibly work." Other labels reacted in a similar way to West. He said, "I'd leave meetings crying all the time." Damon Dash reluctantly signed West to Roc-A-Fella in 2002, but he did so only to keep him as a producer. West was injured in a head-on vehicle incident while driving home from a recording session in a California studio in October of that year, leaving him with a cracked jaw. With his jaw still wired shut after reconstructive surgery, he wrote and recorded "Through the Wire," a song about the experience.While recuperating in L.A., he wrote the most of the rest of his debut album. However, once the album was finished, it was leaked on the internet. West chose to improve it by revising and rewriting songs and fine-tuning the production, which included the addition of heavier drums, gospel choirs, and strings (he paid for orchestras out of his own pocket). Dropout from College The album was finally published in February 2004 and quickly became a hit, selling 2.6 million copies and propelling West to stardom. The College Dropout defied the gangsta-rap mold, including topics like as consumerism (of which he was critical at the time), racism, higher education, and his religious convictions. "They say you can rap about anything but Jesus," he rapped on the tune "Jesus Walks," "That means weapons, sex, lies, videotapes/But if I talk about God, my album won't get played." The College Dropout reached No. 2 on the Billboard Hot 200 chart, and West garnered ten Grammy nominations, winning three of them, including Best Rap Song and Best Rap Album for "Jesus Walks." West formed his record label, GOOD music — an acronym for Getting Out Our Dreams — with Sony BMG shortly after the album's release. He'd release songs by John Legend, Big Sean, Common, Pusha-T, and others. Registration after the deadline West spent a year and $2 million on his sophomore album, enlisting the help of an orchestra and composer Jon Brion, who had never worked with a rapper before. According to the New York Times, West, the restless bourgeois-creative, wanted to "see how far he might expand" hip hop. The results were outstanding, with Best Rap Album winning again, as well as Best Rap Song for "Diamonds from Sierra Leone" and Best Rap Solo Performance for "Gold Digger," and Best Rap Song for "Diamonds from Sierra Leone." Late Registration premiered at No. 1 on the Billboard Hot 200, a feat West would replicate with each solo album release after that. In Rolling Stone's five-star review of the album, Rob Sheffield stated, "On Late Registration, the Louis Vuitton Don doesn't just want to create pop music — he wants to be pop music." "As a result, he improves his lyrical game, displays his epic production skills, reaches higher, pushes harder, and declares the entire world of music to be hip hop turf." West appeared on an NBC program in September 2005, a month after the release of Late Registration, to collect donations for Hurricane Katrina victims. When he declared live on air that "George Bush doesn't care about Black people," echoing widespread criticism of the president for not visiting the damaged city of New Orleans straight away, he ignited a national media storm - his first, but by no means his last. West's remark enraged Bush, who subsequently described it as a "disgusting moment." Graduation West was motivated to create hip hop more anthemic, to be performed in stadiums and arenas, after traveling with U2 in 2005-2006. He began to incorporate elements of both rock & roll (the Stones, Led Zeppelin, and the Killers) into his music (which originated in his hometown of Chicago). Graduation, his third album, was released on September 11, 2007. It was released on the same day as 50 Cent's album Curtis, in a struggle for hip-soul hop's between the educated showman and the bullet-scarred street thug. But there could only be one winner with Graduation's breakthrough (for hip-hop) palette of layered electronic synthesizers and sloganeering wordplay — "I'm like the fly Malcolm X/Buy any jeans necessary," he sneered on "Good Morning" — West's album went straight to No. 1 after selling 957,000 copies in its first six days. With the music industry wringing its hands over the internet's impact on profit margins, West simply embraced the change with his video for the single "Can't Tell Me Nothing," in which he hired comedian Zach Galifianakis to lip-sync along to the lyrics on an alternate version, resulting in a YouTube viral sensation. The Death of Kanye West Mother West was on top of the world, acclaimed as the musician who had put gangster rap on the verge of extinction. Then catastrophe happened in November 2007. Donda, his adored mother, died of a heart attack after cosmetic surgery. He dedicated a performance of "Hey Mama" to her on his first show after the funeral. West split up with his fiancée, Alexis Phifer, a few months later. 808s & Heartbreak, his next album, was released 12 months after his mother died and was laced with grief, agony, and isolation. West even gave up rapping in favor of singing through an Auto-Tune vocal processor, which gave his voice a robotic tone – a technique that is now commonplace in hip hop. "Hip hop is done for me," he declared after describing the new album as "pop art" (not to be confused with the visual art movement). (It wasn't; he won Grammys for guest raps on Estelle's "American Boy" and TI's "Swagga Like Us" that year.) Kanye West Earnings By Year Follow Money Year Earnings 2007 $17,000,000 2008 $30,000,000 2009 $25,000,000 2010 $12,000,000 2011 $16,000,000 2012 $35,000,000 2013 $20,000,000 2014 $30,000,000 2015 $22,000,000 2016 $18,000,000 2017 $22,000,000 2018 $90,000,000 2019 $100,000,000 2020 $200,000,000 Total: $437,000,000 Taylor Swift's VMA Feud and Diss The fragility of West's mental health was brought into question the following year at the MTV Video Music Awards. He stormed the stage during Taylor Swift's acceptance speech for the Best Female Video award (for "You Belong to Me") at Radio City Music Hall in New York to argue that Beyoncé should have won instead. The reverberations from that moment are still being felt. West apologized, then retracted his apology in a New York Times interview in 2013. By 2015 they had become friends and were even spotted at dinner together. Then in 2016 Kanye rapped on his song "Famous": "I feel like me and Taylor might still have s*x/Why? I made that b**** famous." Swift responded from the stage at the 2016 Grammy Awards, this time unapologetically, with the words: "To all the young women out there, I want to say something: There will be people who try to undermine your success or take credit for your successes along the way... Don't let those folks get in the way." Fashion West took a break from music after the Swift fiasco to focus on fashion. Since 2006, he'd been collaborating with limited-edition sneakers with brands including A Bathing Ape and Nike. To obtain experience, he reportedly interned at Gap in 2009 and later Fendi. In 2011, he debuted his first collection in Paris, however it was critically lambasted. Long Nguyen, style director of Flaunt magazine, sniffed, "You can't just dump some fox fur on a runway and call it luxury." At the show's after-party, West delivered a wounded-sounding address. "Please take it easy," he said. "Please give me the opportunity to mature." After a lackluster response to his second collection a year later, West stated that he would no longer be presenting in Paris. In 2013, he collaborated on a capsule collection with the French label APC, and in October 2015, he struck a $10 million agreement with Adidas, launching his first sportswear collection, Yeezy Season 1, with the brand. The label has received mixed reviews, while Anna Wintour praised his Season 5 collection in February 2017. She told the New York Post, "I really liked it." "A little more attention than we've seen from him before." My Dark Twisted Fantasy West returned to music in November 2010 with his fifth album, a bombastic and towering monument to self-aggrandizement that sounded "like an instant greatest hits," according to Pitchfork. It was a bombastic and towering monument to self-aggrandizement with paranoid celebrity and rampant consumption as the dominant themes: it was a bombastic and towering monument to self-aggrandizement that sounded "like an instant greatest hits" according to Pitchfork It was Kanye West's best and worst all bundled into one: a magnum work that bordered on the insane. It spawned four songs, including "Monster," on which West, Jay Z, and Rick Ross were famously beaten into second place by Nicki Minaj's furious guest verse. In 2011, West and his old sparring partner Jay Z released Watch the Throne, a joint album that delivered seven songs, including "Otis" and "Niggas in Paris," as well as three additional Grammy awards for West and Jay Z. Relationship In 2012, West released Cruel Summer, a compilation album including artists from his GOOD Music label. However, his romance with reality-TV star Kim Kardashian, which began in April, dominated the headlines that year. They married on May 24, 2014, in the medieval Fort di Belvedere in Italy, after West proposed at the AT&T baseball stadium in San Francisco on October 21, 2013. As Kardashian came down the aisle, Andrea Bocelli performed, The designer Rachel Roy, tennis champion Serena Williams, film director Steve McQueen, and music performers Legend, Q-Tip, Rick Rubin, Tyga, and Lana Del Rey were among the visitors. North (born June 15, 2013), Saint (born December 5, 2015), and another daughter are the couple's three children (born via surrogate January 15, 2018). Psalm, the couple's fourth child, was born via surrogate in May 2019. Yeezus West's sixth studio album, Yeezus, was released in June 2013 and had little evidence that the rapper was living a happy life. West had engaged producer Rick Rubin to make sweeping alterations just days before the album's release, thus the sound was aggressive, raw, and almost entirely melody-free. On "I Am a God," which featured the iconic phrase "Hurry up with my stupid croissants," West sounded neurotic and egocentric to the point of bathos. With the exception of the excellent glam-rock-inspired hit "Black Skinhead," West stated the album was a "attack against the commercial," and it certainly included nothing that was radio-friendly (the first of only two singles from the album). Yeezus is the only album by Kanye West to have sold less than one million copies in the United States. Nonetheless, it was highly welcomed by critics, including rock veteran Lou Reed, who told Rolling Stone that "It's as if you're crafting a movie with each tune... The guy is incredibly gifted." Beef on Jimmy Kimmel In September, West and Jimmy Kimmel had a Twitter dispute after the talk-show host ridiculed an interview West had given to the BBC in the United Kingdom. On his show, Jimmy Kimmel hired young actors to recite some of West's more bombastic remarks. West, on the other hand, was not amused. One of a series of outraged tweets said, "Jimmy Kimmel is out of line to try to mimic in any manner the first piece of honest media in years." During his next episode, Kimmel happily read out West's tweets, eliciting more ire from the rapper, who shared a link to a Slate piece headed "Kanye was right." West returned on Jimmy Kimmel Live the following month, and the conversation lasted the most of the broadcast, with multiple free-flowing Kanye monologues covering everything from his career to his thoughts on the paparazzi, Steve Jobs, and Jesus. "I don't know whether you're aware of this, but a lot of people believe you're a jerk," Kimmel said, before complimenting West's portrayal. West had been hurt by Kimmel's characterization of him, as it turned out, because the two had known each other before to the disagreement. "When I'm cooking up a comedic routine," Kimmel said, "regarding a celebrity's feelings is not something that comes to mind." They had cleared the air by the end of the show. More Public Outbursts, Collaboration with Paul McCartney, and Rihanna West made history as the first rapper to collaborate with Paul McCartney, releasing the tune "Four Five Seconds" alongside the Beatles icon and Rihanna at the start of 2015. But a month later, there was yet another award-show snarl, this time at the Grammys, when West protested to Beck winning Best Album. After the ceremony, West remarked, "Beck needs to respect artistry, and he should have presented his trophy to Beyoncé." In an interview with The Sunday Times newspaper in England a few months later, he withdrew his comments. "My image of a gentleman who plays 14 instruments not respecting craftsmanship was incorrect," he admitted. West, along with other artists such as Beyoncé, Jay Z, Rihanna, Madonna, Chris Martin, and Nicki Minaj, was introduced as a co-owner of the music-streaming service Tidal in March. Despite a petition with 135,000 signatures requesting for him to be removed from the lineup, he headlined the Glastonbury festival in the United Kingdom in June. The Life of Pablo Picasso In the lead-up to his seventh album, The Life of Pablo, there was even more controversy. West made headlines before the film's release on February 14, 2016, for a series of inflammatory tweets, including one declaring Bill Cosby, who is on trial for drugging and raping women, to be innocent. He began a feud with Wiz Khalifa, a musician he mistookly believed had ridiculed his wife, Kim Kardashian ("I am your OG and I will be respected as such," West tweeted.). He also expressed regret for appearing to disparage Michael Jordan in his lyrics. West then oddly advised his fans to lobby Facebook founder Mark Zuckerber the day after his album was released. He also expressed regret for appearing to disparage Michael Jordan in his lyrics. West then oddly pushed his fans to lobby Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg to spend $1 billion in West's "ideas" the day after his album was released. He also claimed to be in debt for $53 million. Thealbum was yet another departure from the norm, as well as a triumph. It has a considerably broader sound than Yeezus, integrating a wide range of sounds, styles, and inspirations, ranging from trap to gospel to Auto-Tune crooning, avant-pop, vintage soul, and dancehall. Frank Ocean, Chance the Rapper, Rihanna, Desiigner, and Kid Cudi were among the guest vocalists. It was West's sixth solo album to debut at No. 1 on the Billboard 200 list in a row. Cancellation of the Tour and Return to the Spotlight West paused a show in Sacramento on November 20, 2016, while on his Saint Pablo Tour, to go on a rambling diatribe about radio playlists, MTV, Barack Obama, Donald Trump, Beyoncé, and Jay Z ( "Call me, Jay Z... I know you've got killers. Please don't shoot them at me "(Imaginative+ paraphrase). He had ranted onstage and proclaimed support for Trump for the second time in a week, and this time it seemed like a public breakdown – he did not finish the act. He canceled the remaining 21 concerts of his tour the next day, citing tiredness, and spent the next eight days in the UCLA Medical Center in Los Angeles. Pusha T, the president of GOOD music, revealed in an interview in February 2017 that West was working on a new album. Rumors about the album's progress persisted, with some stories claiming that the Grammy winner had sought creative inspiration in the Rockies of Jackson Hole, Wyoming. With the announcement that he was authoring a philosophy-themed book, Break the Simulation, in April 2018, West re-entered the news cycle. Days later, he verified the rumors of new material in a rapid-fire sequence of tweets, announcing that he will release two albums in June, the second of which would feature longtime collaborator Kid Cudi. The artist then caused a sensation when his tweets turned to his admiration for President Donald Trump, referring to him as "my brother" and claiming that they shared "dragon energy," even sharing a selfie wearing Trump's "Make America Great Again" cap. West later clarified the situation by adding that he adored Hillary Clinton as well and that he didn't agree with everything the president stated. "I don't agree with anyone except myself 100 percent," he wrote. Read the full article

[poison-basil]

Part 10: Without You - Chapter 2/3

It was a horrible thing to find out that they only had a handful of pictures of Temperance. Dick sadly thought about the numerous images they had of everyone else, Damian included, though he was the last to join recently. Granted that most of these images were taken by Temp herself.

Spread out before him, Dick has five pictures and a usb laid on his small coffee table. They were all candied pictures of her, at different ages. God how could they not have more pictures?

Dick feels himself leaning forward like he is trying to drink in every detail. These are ones that Alfred had took over the years and sent them to him in a tidy care package with leftovers for him to put into the freezer. It warmed him inside to think about Alfred, he wondered how he was doing, over the past few weeks Dick’s been cooped up in his apartment, trying his best not to think.

He reaches over and picks up the most recent picture of Temperance. He leans back into his sofa and drinks in all the detail he can. The picture is of Temperance sitting in the cave at the computer, holding a cup of coffee and blowing on it in one hand and tucking her long black hair behind her ear with the other. She looks so calm, warm and alive , in this moment that it hurts.

Dick doesn’t know what to do with himself now. He is sat alone in his apartment in Bludhaven, looking at pictures of Temperance. The only other thing he has of her are feeds from the manor and batcave, of her meandering around or training.

He has to go back to work soon, or he’ll be let go from the force and he hasn’t been out as Nightwing in a while after benching himself for putting three small time criminals in hospital. He laughs at the thought, this is exactly why Temperance entered the night scene to begin with, to help Bruce when he was nearing the line he wouldn’t be able to come back from.

It’s nights like these where Dick feels jealousy curl in his stomach at how Bruce had Temperance to look after him in his darkest hours and how Dick wishes he had the same. As soon as it comes it washed away by the guilt that pours into Dick, making him curl up and pull his legs to his chest, moaning into the darkness of this apartment.

The pictures stare at Dick as if mocking him with the images of the past and showing how alive she was in these moments. He can no longer look at her smiles in the morning, feel her warmth through the much needed hugs, smell her comforting scent at night as he tries to forget the horrors of the night and never again can he hear the tinkle of her laughter at his jokes that even he knows are bad but never fail to get her looking at him like he just hung the moon for her.

Though it’s too late for Temperance to be immortalised into more pictures, Dick makes a promise to himself to take more of the family, whether they like it or not.

With a sigh Dick slouches back into his sofa and sets in for another night of solitude.

--

Waking up, tied to a chair was not an unfamiliar sensation to Dick. However waking up up in a dining hall across from one Ra’s al Ghul.

It was strange to see Ra’s looking old and worn out. Usually when they saw him, he was fresh from the pit and ready to fight, but all Dick saw right now was an old man worn down by the world.

“Ah, Richard, good to see you’ve finally joined us.” It galls Dick that Ra’s calls him that, only five people call him that and the loves them dearly, not this monster, this man who made Temperance and Bruce so uncomfortable.

“Well, I would of joined sooner, ya know, if you thought to let me know this was going to happen, rather than taking me during a patrol.” The false cheer in his voice hurts. Some days he damned this persona that he made, he might not be as fun as Nightwing as he was Dick Grayson, but someone had to be the light to the little bundle of darkness that was their family.

Since Temperance has been gone, it’s gotten harder to always be the guy that people expect to look on the bright side, always have a joke ready and smiles for everyone.

Ra’s smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Had I thought you’d come willingly, I would would’ve sent you an invite.” There is something off about this, well of course there is it’s Ra’s, but they never talked like this, like they just had dinner together on occasion, but Dick couldn’t think what he might be up to.

Dick eyes Ra’s, takes him in, sitting at the head of the table. “Can you please cut to the chase Ra’s,” Dick shifts in his chair, trying to make it so the ropes didn’t bite into him too much. “You obviously have something you want to say…” He trails off.

Now that Dick thinks about it, no one has heard about Ra’s for a couple of months, not since… Not since Temperance , Dick thinks he understands now, why Ra’s looks they way he does, it must’ve hit him hard too. Dick winces inside at the thought of having anything in common with this man.

“Since Temperance’s untimely death I have been…” Dick feels sick as soon as he mentions Temperance. There is a pause as Ra’s searches for the right words. “Looking into a way that would bring her back to us.”

“There wasn’t a body--” Dick cuts himself off. He shouldn’t be helping.

“Oh, I know that Richard, if there was I feel as though my Grandson would’ve already brought it to me.” Dick feels his eyes widen at this. “As it is, I am already aware of the circumstances around her death, I have given great effort to this, if it were that simple Temperance would be with me right now.” There is a smugness to his tone that has Dick’s stomach rolling.

Never since his moment, was Dick glad that there was nothing for them to bury.

“Then… What do you want from… me?” It always scared Dick the lengths the al Ghul’s went to produce and prolong life.

Ra’s steeples his fingers in front of himself. ‘ Classic ’ thinks Dick, he wonders why bad guys do that before revealing their plans. Dick forces himself not to roll his eyes at the action.

“Well Richard, I was thinking that since there wasn’t a body to have, the pit is rendered useless this time.” Ra’s gets up from his seat and come around the table to stand behind Dick. “So I have to think of other methods, not favourable of course…” Dick feels a hand on his shoulder and feels a shiver run down his spine. “But their are other, methods , in which we can,” Ra’s mulls on the word for a second, “ replicate, the young detective…” His voice leads off, letting Dick connect the rest.

“You mean--” Dick swallows, “You mean to clone Temperance? ” There is a shrill tone to his voice. How could Ra’s think of doing something like that?

“Of course Richard.” The steadiness of his voice makes Dick feel sick. “What else is to be done? I could of another way, but that would be an impure version of the lovely Detective”

He cannot stop himself from asking, “Impure?” What else could this mad man be thinking about?

Ra’s hands are on both of Dick’s shoulders now. He gives a slight squeeze as he leans down and talks directly next to his ear. “Well there is the method of conception,” Ra’s leans up and walks back to his seat. “Though the idea that her DNA would be mix with someone else’s would be detestable. “ Dick fists his hands as Ra’s takes his seat. “But understand I did think about using my own,” Bile rises in Dicks throat at the thought. “But, I would much rather take pleasure in her flesh at the same time, if I was to do it that way.” He squeezes his eyes shut at the image of them tangled in silk sheets Temperance’s face twisted in agony.

“But as you well know Detective, young Temperance is gone, so I must make means elsewhere.”

“You can’t!” Dick shouts, “I won’t let you do that!” He grits out, making a renewed effort to get out of the bindings.

“I cannot do it without you Richard…” Ra’s had steepled his fingers again, this time touching them to his lips. “Red Robin was smart and always made sure that any DNA spilled or left near me was taken way or removed. I had thought I’d outsmarted her a while back and had a small supply of her DNA should anything happen to her, though that has been taken.” Dick releases a breath, glad that Temperance always had contingencies and plans for this sort of thing. “So I need something from you.”

Dick pauses his struggling and looks Ra’s in the eye confused as to what he could be alluding to. “Me?”

“Why yes, I need you to get something for me,” The look of hunger in Ra’s as he addresses him makes Dick lean away, despite the distance between them. “I understand that Wayne has all of his Robin’s DNA on record and filed away. I need you to collect some of Temperance’s for me, enough for there to be three attempts at the cloning process, should there be a problem.”

Dick sits with his mouth slightly open, he keeps trying but no words leave his mouth. Ra’s unblinking stare makes him want to shrink away.

“No.” Dick feels proud of himself for finally getting something out there. However Ra’s levels a glare at Dick, his distaste clear.

“No? Detective, surely you jest.” Watching as Ra’s grips the edge of the table, his knuckles turning white from the pressure. “Do you not want Temperance around again?”

“Don’t make this about that , of course I want her back, but not like this! Do not twist my feelings for her! I’m not like you!” Dick lets out a harsh breath, his teeth aching from gritting to hard.

“Richard, surely you --” The rest of his sentence is lost to the loud smash of glass from behind him, Dick swivels his head as much as he can to see what was going on. Jason rises from his landing dusting the shards of glass off his jacket.

“Sorry ’m late fellas,” Jason’s grin is easy to hear in his tone. “But the main event has arrived.” He pulls out his guns, cocking off the safety and leveling them on Ra’s.

“Ah, it seems as though our time is up Richard, just keep in mind what I’ve told you.” Ra’s pushes his chair back and and turns around making his way over to the large double doors, his robes billowing as he walks. Jason doesn’t lower his guns until the door closes behind Ra’s.

Jason puts his guns away as he make his way towards Dick. “Rude,” He huffs, “Didn’t even offa me a drink.” Dick smiles up at him. Happy to see his brother. Jason crouches behind him, pulling out a knife and cutting through the restraints. Dick groans at the relieved pressure, blood rushing back into his arms and Dick knows that any minute now he is going to have a numbing pins and needles sensation in his arms.

“There ya go Dicky, let’s get you outta here.” Jason grips Dick’s upper arm and pulls him out of the chair.

“Thanks Little Wing.”

“Come on, Demon Spawn is waitin’ in tha jet, he ent gonna be happy if we take much longer.” Dick follows Jason as he moves towards the window and sees the ropes dangling from the jet. Dick grins as he gets on the ledge of window, preparing to make the jump.

“See you in bit Wingding.” Jason is leaping and grabbing the rope before Dick can retort. He huffs out a laugh grinning as he leaps from the ledge.

--

The last two weeks have been gruelling. Dick is currently back in Gotham, looking forward to seeing the family and spending some good quality time with Damian. Work has been a nightmare, cases piling up faster than he can solve them, struggling under the stress.

It never ended, due to the fact that at night he went out as Nightwing, hoping to help out and keep people safe, though though that never seemed to be enough, there were always more cases being filed in the morning.

Sitting in front of the computer in Bruce’s chair he reclined back and stared at all the evidence and information compiling, he hoped that this would come up with something to help out, but he would have to wait on that. Currently in yoga bottoms and long tank Dick can feel the cold of the cave setting in. Getting up from the chair he went over to the gym equipment.

He dusts up his hands before jumping to grab the trapeze bar. Dick will be forever grateful that Bruce bought all this stuff for him and them kept it all in working order. This was one of his favorite things about coming back.

Doing a slow warm up routine, Dick slowly empties his mind, concentrating on the movements. There was something else that Dick liked about this, it always brought memories of a young Temperance. She would look up at him in awe as she watched him do tricks, trying to impress her.

Though he would always regret being a bad brother to Jason when he was Robin, there was nothing he was more grateful for than trying to make up for that by showering Temperance with attention trying to make up for it.

He remembers her face, when he told her he was going to train her. The way her face lit up and eyes shone with amazement at having the chance. He can see it now, the love she held for him, the belief that he was everything good and kind in the world. He will regret that it took him so long to figure it out and then ask her out. But there was nothing he could do.

Temperance would train morning till evening, trying to get her flips just right. Training till she was red in the face and panting. Trying so hard to hold onto her place with them. Never believing that she would be as good as Jason and himself.

Dick let out a slow breath, his mind calm as he moves. Though Dick hated to think about it, he couldn’t stop thinking over his meeting with Ra’s and about what he said.

It was getting harder some days, to ally himself with Ra’s thinking. Desperate for her steadying touch and gentle words reassuring him. But he knows it wouldn’t be her, it would look and talk like her, but it would have none of her worldly experience that makes her Temperance.

He had to let Bruce know what Ra’s wanted with him, make sure that all of her DNA was destroyed. He couldn’t have the temptation. Bruce had, at first, resisted the notion but came around after hearing about Ra’s other insinuation that conception was a option, though they loved Damian dearly, they didn’t want to happen again.

There was nothing more warming than talking to other people about antics at Temperance got up to. He loved hearing about her in different situations that he never got to see. It’s the closest he can get to being with her anymore than watching footage of her from security cameras.

Dick repeated a swing a couple of times before flipping off the bar and landing on the mats and takes a quick breath.

“Grayson.”

Dick turns sharply towards the stairs to see Damian descending the steps. Dick makes his way over to him and ruffles his hair. Damian ducks away and makes his way to the sparring mats giving Dick a pointed look.

“Hey Dami, how was school?” Dick moves to join him. Smiling as he watches Damian's face scrunch up.

Damian shifts into his stance and waits for Dick, “Tt, tedious. As always Grayson.” They start to circle each other. “Being taught subjects I have already mastered by inferior minds.” Dick laughs, grinning at his smart little brother. No matter how hard he’s tried to get Damian to think of his teachers in a positive light, it always fails, though he is glad Damian has stopped telling the teachers what he thinks about them to their face and comes home to vent about them.

They go through the motions of a usual spar dodging and weaving each others attacks. “Well I’m sure you must be passing all your essays and tests with flying colours.” Dick says, smiling down at the younger man.

Surprised by the colour rising on Damian’s face, Dick isn’t prepared for the jab to his left side. Damian seems just as shocked that he got the hit in that he stops.

Coughing and lightly clutching his side he tries to catch Damian’s eye. “Hey little D, you ok?” he hears a quiet tut come from him and watches as he crosses his arms, his body language screaming defiance.

“Nothing Grayson.”

“Hey now, you can talk to me, what’s wrong?” Dick grabs Damian’s shoulders, trying to send comfort to the younger man.

“The tests are fine Richard, the essays though…” He trails off, his mouth forming a frown and eyebrows scrunching up. “Drake --” He cuts off quickly looking Dick in the eye before looking away.

“Come on Dami, you can tell me.”

“She helped me,” He rushed out the sentence as though he was going to be reprimanded for having been helped. “She would look through my essays before I submitted them.” Dick’s heart warmed at the thought of Temperance helping Damian with his work.

Dick nodded, encouraging Damian to carry on. “Some of what I write is not deemed appropriate by the faculty. When Drake found out, she said she would proofread my work. Since she--” There’s a pause as he works his jaw, “Since she has been gone, I have had no one to do it and again they have the same problem.”

Dick winces, he feels sorry for the kid. It’s hard for him to get ideas across in ways that people in life deem ok.

“I can he--” Dick is cut off by Damian’s raised, he can see his gaze burning.

“Don’t be stupid Richard, though I appreciate the offer, I know you are too busy to be given this task, I won’t ask Father either, since he has become sole owner of Wayne Ind. again.”

Dick runs this through his head again, he has to admit that Damian’s right. He doesn’t have the time and neither does Bruce. But there was someone he could think of.

“Have you thought of asking Jason?”

Now Damian is giving him a look, as though he is worried that Dick is going insane.

“He’s a literature buff, I’m sure that he wouldn’t mind helping you out!” Dick giddily bounces on the spot thinking about it.

“I’m sure Todd would rather do anything else.” Dick can see that Damian is trying not to get his hopes up about it.

“No, no, I’m sure that he’ll do it!” Damian begrudgingly nods is accent to Dick’s idea.

“It is on your head if this all goes south Grayson.” Damian makes his way to the stairs, leaving Dick on the mats.

“Sure thing!” He calls after him, he flops down onto the mats and spreads out his arms and legs, grinning to himself. Today feels like a good day.

[stillpartofthisworld]

(hello yes its eden and im bad at prompts BUT) lup and magnus causing chaos?

Damnit Eden ily 

And We Run is up on ao3

Only two people go to retrieve the Light. (This comes after almost all of them die one year battling it out with a planar-side gang over the Light. Davenport and Merle survive and take home their prize, yes, but the rest of the year is hell and the first thing their Captain says after they reform is "We are never doing that again.", which they agree to not only because of his harsh tone but because of the tears they see forming at the sides of his eyes, because of how Merle looks at all of them.)Among the seven of them, there are twenty one combinations that could form this two person team.The most destructive combination, by far, is Lup and Magnus.Davenport chooses them during Cycle 38. They've fallen into a world that's vibrant as it is corrupted, glittering nightlifes clashing with the gang violence that ends up nearly taking Taako's life during his reconnaissance mission for the light. He comes back to the Starblaster clutching his side in agony, silver dress turned red from the amount of blood coming through and it's touch and go for a while, Merle burning all his spell slots and then some to patch him up. He still manages to tell them the Light's location through clenched teeth and his fifth shot of vodka before he passes out and doesn't wake up for the next two days.Needless to say, they were itching for payback.The Light was housed in a two story warehouse located right beside the river. It's easy enough to find, and soon they're crouching behind another building, watching guards make their rounds around the area. "What's the plan?" Magnus asks, and Lup grins deviously at him as she leans in to whisper something in his ear. Meanwhile,Davenport's voice crackles through their stones of Farspeech as he presents them with their options. "You could knock a few out, take their uniforms and sneak in," he suggests. "Invisibility works too," Barry also chimes in. "An hour should be enough." A few other ideas are traded back and forth between the two men before Davenport addresses Lup and Magnus again."Lup, Mags, what do you think...?"They both realize that both Lup and Magnus have been uncharacteristically silent for the past few minutes."Don't tell me," Barry groans and puts his head in his hands. "They've ditched their stones again?"Davenport just sighs and takes a long gulp from the beer can he had set on top of the dashboard. "Well," he says, twirling his moustache thoughtfully. "Those chucklefucks aren't gonna know what hit'em."-"Here's the plan," she'd whispered. Although Magnus's wrists were bound behind him, he didn't struggle, going along with the scrappy guard that was pointing a metal baton menacingly at him. Lup was beside him too, wearing her signature smirk and flirting with her own guard who was blushing furiously, a man in glasses who looked a bit like Barry. They were escorted into the warehouse and up a flight of stairs, allowing him to get a good look at the place's layout as they walked the catwalk above. It was a vast building, light fixtures hanging from ropes tied to the roof, illuminating the ground floor that was obviously the gang's hangout-couches and other recliners littered one half of the area, while the other looked like an impromptu gym, complete with a boxing ring. Around twenty guys were loitering around, talking idly or taking time out of their very busy lives to stare at the two of them as they made it up the stairs and onto the second floor, which was really a catwalk before a room that stretched around the top of the warehouse.They're shoved in and forced to sit down on metal chairs facing each other. As they're tied down with rope Lup doesn't stop talking, whispering things in her guard's ear whenever he's in front of her that make him jump back a little, his ears burning red. Magnus looks at his own guard who's also watching the scene unfold, disgust apparent on his face. "Wish you'd gotten her, huh?" he says, but all he gets in return is a baton to the gut that probably didn't hurt as much as the guard wished it did. He makes it believable, though, bending double and letting out a grunt that catches Lup's attention."You alright there, Maggie?" she asks as the two guards leave the room. He grins at her and puts two thumbs up, although she can't see them. "Never better." he says. "But when can we-"The door opens again and the two guards are back but this time they're flanking someone-an older, much more muscular man holding a machete in one hand and a huge pipe in his mouth. He eyes the two suspiciously, a puff of smoke filling the room. "Lights," he says gruffly, and suddenly two lamps hanging on top of them turn on, flooding their vision line with harsh light. "Hey now," Lup smiles, her eyes half lidded due to the light. "Ain't this a bit too much wattage for my pretty face?" She winks at the bespectacled guard who smiles back before being nudged by his comrade. The big man grunts and twirls his machete before pointing it at Magnus's neck. "Who sent you?" he growls."Ooourselves?" he says, shrugging his shoulders noncommittally. "I mean, it could just be fate? Destiny works in mysterious ways, my friend," he says in a gravelly voice, imitating Merle. "And it would be wise to follow its path.""What does that even mean?" says Magnus's guard. "Beats me," he replies, earning him another baton hit straight to the face. This one smarts, his nose taking most of the impact and gushing blood everywhere. Lup winces at this, saying "Taako got you that shirt, dammit," before muttering something else under her breath.He feels a buzzing wave wash across him and he presses his lips together, knowing what's about to come next. "Hey fellas," she drawls, folding one leg over the other. "Why don't you answer some of our questions first?""Why the fuck'd we do that?" the big man growls, and to this Lup's grin just grows. "Oh, my man!" she shakes her head pityingly. "Shame y'all haven't discovered magic yet, really would have helped on those saving throws-""I still failed mine-""Yeah but you're a dunce, Maggie, a lovable one." He still grumbles but falls silent. "Anywho, y'all in possession of the Light? It's medium sized, glows, can do rad shit?""So we do," the big man answers and a startled gasp leaks out of him. The other two guards look at him in disbelief, but Lup just nods approvingly. "Good, good. We're in the right place, then. Where is it?""Behind this room in a safe." The big man says, his eyes growing wider with each syllable dropping out of his mouth. His pipe is on the ground, now, and Magnus eyes it over; an intricate carving weaves around the item, inlaid with gold and silver. His hand twitches."Oohh, is it? Even better," she's got on a grin that looks like the devil himself. The big man seems to have gotten over his shock and was now advancing towards her, machete ready and aimed at her neck. "You bitch!" he roars, and swings his weapon high, ready to slice off her neck. She gives him a side eye. "The correct pronunciation," she says, fire racing up her bindings. "Is witch."He swings down and she grabs the blade, hiding a wince under her grin as the fire she had conjured in her hand begins to consume the weapon. The man shrieks and lets go but not before his jacket was set alight and he goes down, rolling across the cold floor in an attempt to put the fire out. The glasses guard rushes to help his boss but is stopped when Lup intercepts him, running a finger down his cheek. "Help us get the safe?" she asks coyly, the finger closest to his cheek warm with the promise of fire and burnt skin"S-sure," he says, his voice high pitched. The other guard takes one look the scene and then at Magnus, who has easily broken out his restraints and has picked up the pipe from the ground, hmming and haawwing at the handiwork. They lock eyes and Magnus grins, stuffing the pipe in his pocket before turning to him and popping his knuckles. "You know, I think I need to thank you for my broken nose." The guard only gets out the beginning of a plea before a fist connects with his own nose, sending him sprawling to the ground unconscious. His nose, unlike Magnus's, seems to have been punched out of existence, and Lup gives him a low five as they follow the remaining guard into the room where the Light was being kept.The guard fumbles with the key but is able to unlock the door, revealing what seems to be the gang's treasury- briefcase upon briefcase are stacked up under tables, upon which rare artifacts and precious jewels lay unattended. Bags of gold and silver are propped up on one side of the room, along with a very huge safe with a dial bigger than Lup's head. The guard turns to them, terrified. "I, uh, don't know the password to this one. I'm sorry I know I work for these guys but I'm just a guard please please please don't hurt me I swear I don't know-" Lup presses a finger to his lips, shushing him. "It's ok, my dude, I got this." She pushes past him and places a hand on the safe, closing her eyes before knocking on the metal.The knock is loud, loud enough that the hum of activity downstairs stops for a moment.The guard doesn't seem to notice, though, instead focusing on the fact that the safe door was beginning to slide open, revealing one solitary glowing object-the Light. Lup casually tosses it to Magnus, who puts it carefully in his bag of Holding before proceeding to dump all the jewels in there as well, picking up a gold monocle as well for Davenport. Lup's doing her part in sacking the place as well, grabbing two briefcases before tossing a sapphire to the guard. He fumbles with it before cradling the jewel in his palms, looking up at her in confusion. "For your troubles, boychik," she says, patting his cheek. "Now, things are about to get nasty, so stay in here and leave only after it gets quiet. Mags?""Yeah?" Magnus says, tying up his bag and securing it to his back."Let's wreck this shop."They walk back onto the metal catwalk, ignoring the guard and big man that now lay passed out in the room before it. The people below haven't noticed them yet, probably used to commotion happening on the second floor. Lup clears her throat."Hey, fuckers!"Twenty heads turn to look at them. Magnus waves good naturedly, and Lup climbs up onto the railing using his shoulder. "You guys have ten seconds," she announces, pointing at the exit, "To get the fuck out. Anyone who's left is not guaranteed their life."Two guys look at each other before slinking quietly out of the warehouse, but the other eighteen just rush to grab their weapons and storm up the stairs. Lup looks back at Magnus and they share a grin. "Show time," she growls, and casts Flame Blade. The fiery sword materializes in a show of sparks and flame, making some gangsters stumble back in shock and fear. She swings the blade in a wide arc, sending out a stream of flame that break the ropes that hold the light fixtures up. They fall, smashing on the ground and pinning two unlucky guys under one of them, plunging the place into darkness.Magnus feels a hand over his eyes and he hears the telltale buzzing sound of magic before the hand is removed. He looks around, dumbfounded by the fact that he can see in the dark before he sees Lup on the railing, her flame sword gone in exchange for regular daggers she had hidden on her person. She makes quick work of the two guys nearest to the duo, slashing one on his side before kicking his comrade over the railing, sending him careening to a deep sleep. The remaining fourteen are in panic, unable to see in the dark and therefore unable to see Magnus careening towards them, punching two over the railing ("I got two!" "Come at me Maggie, I'm at four.") and delivering an uppercut to one of them, stealing his axe before he hits the floor. The axe isn't as sharp as he hopes, showing it's bluntness as he tries to cut someone in twain. The axe makes a dent in the poor man's forehead but fails to cut through, causing a death that wasn't quite as messy as he had hoped. He feels Lup's hands on his shoulders, feeling her execute a perfect flip over his head as she roundhouses a man near Magnus. They race down the stairs, kicking five gangsters down the stairs and stepping on them as they land on the ground floor. The remaining four are standing in front of the door, torches raised to see their assailants in one hand and machetes in the other.The leader of the group's scowl disappears when he sees Lup's face as they step into the light. "Hey," he says, thoroughly confused. "Weren't you at Treale last night? I stabbed the shit out of you, how are you-"Lup cuts him off, smile frozen in place even as her fists close tightly. "Were you the one who hurt my brother?" She says evenly, friendly, almost, but Magnus gets the hint and steps daintily behind her. The leader scowls again, confused. "Brother? I don't-"He's unable to finish his sentence, dissolving into screams and ash as he and his minions are swallowed by a fireball that blasts out of Lup's hands and bursts open the double doors leading out of the warehouse. The spell burns her hands and singes Magnus's sideburns but they're laughing, high fiving each other before Magnus notices her burns. He sits her down in the wreckage, wrapping her fingers in gauze and ignoring her protests to leave. ("This is your punishment for taking down more people than I did." "Oh, fuck off-ow!" "See? What did we just learn?" "...Thanks, Mags.") They leave arm in arm, laughing as they swoop up their abandoned Stones and relaying their victory. As they walk back to the Starblaster, Magnus turns to her quizzically. "Hey, why'd you spare that scrappy guy anyway?" She shrugs, eyes moving towards the sky. "I don't know," she admits, a smile forming on her face. "I couldn't just kill him, he was so cute and dorky-" "Like Barry?" He interjects, and she looks away, tips of her ears burning. "I mean, he looked a lot like him, I guess," he muses, nudging her shoulder. "You were flirting pretty heavily with the poor guy, he looked like he was about to melt.""I saw that," she says quietly, cheeks still aflame and he looks at her, puzzled before the realization hits him like a train."Holy fucking shit, you like Barry Bluejeans."She tries to silence his guffaws, jumping on his back and stuffing her bandaged hands into his mouth. He laughs and tries to talk through them, picking up speed and racing through the dark streets with Lup on his back, relishing in the cool night.(They dump the contents of their looting on the ground in the living room, presenting the pipe to Merle and the monocle to Davenport. Taako got most of the jewels, save for an ancient tome given to Lucretia and a sapphire Lup tosses to Barry nonchalantly, ignoring Magnus's smirk as he steps closer to examine her wounds.)

[animal-guardian]

Name: Salem Nickname(s) : Subject 7-B12 (by the scientific research center) Species: Black Cat Toon Gender: Male Age: Unknown Height: about 4'00 Occupation: Spy or hire currently working for Figaro. Fears: Needles, scientists, people he doesn’t know touching him, Cages. Physical Illness(s) : Has a disfigured face and multiple stitches. Mental Illness(s) : He is actually unable to show any emotion at all, he feels the emotion but his face can’t show it. Voice: (still deciding 0)

Likes: Figaro the black cat: Fig is his boss, and his favorite boss that he ever worked for. Also while he knows Figaro will not ever like or love him Salem will forever have a crush with Fig. Sometimes it has perks not being able to show emotions. - Dynamite: These explosives always fascinated Salem, they were dangerous but if used properly they made amazing weapons! And Salem had a particular like to stick dynamite. - Night Time: Well for a black cat spy it’s the perfect cover. Easy to sneak around and get information, he also likes the cool breeze and the moon and stars so he sneaks to rooftops and watches the sky. - Fish Crackers: These salty fish shaped crackers will always be a weak point for Salem. To him these treats are a delight to have if your on a stake out and waiting for targets. They also remind him of his better childhood days. —————- Dislikes: People hurting his boss: This is obvious, Salem loathes and distrusts anyone who hurts his boss. Anyone who hurts Fig or does something that Fig doesn’t like such as touch him or look at Figaro wrong is immediately on his hit list. - Being tied: Rope or Chains it doesn’t matter Salem HATES being tied up, it reminds him of his days in the research facility. They would tie him down to cut him open and operate on him. So he acts like a wild animal when he tries to be tied down. Same goes for cages. - Scientist and Doctors: While captive doctors or scientists would regularly check on him, they drug him with sedatives and check his body and vitals. He hated it because some of them were way to handsy for his liking. Especially a scientist known as Adam K. Synth, who seemed to love making their sessions longer and do checks that seem unorthodox. - Water: He doesn’t like water due to it makes him heavier because his fur can’t shake it off like dog can. So he is usually indoors with Fig doing papers, he rather be doing that then be outside getting soaked to his stitches. —————- Personality: Loyal: Salem is loyal to Figaro, And the few people he call friends. He took an oath when he escaped the facility that he wouldn’t betray or leave anyone behind. Because a friend of his that was in the facility with him was killed, he felt guilt for his friends death and what made him take the oath. - Quite: Salem is not talkative, he is this way because of his mouth. The way it was injured made it harder for him to speak, but he’ll talk longer to Figaro then anyone else. - Determined: This guy is also very determined, if he’s the last guy standing he will be determined to finish it, and usually does with his opponent splattered over the walls and floor. - Cunning: This black cat knows how to dodge and get out of sticky situations, he learned it from his time in the facility. He can nab a necklace off a woman’s neck in a crowed room with no one noticing. And can talk himself out of certain situations and stall for time. —————- History: Salem was once a happy cat toon, happily starring in cartoons that promoted animal shelters and it was great for the time! He had a family at the studio with his creator and her family, he was the happiest he could ever be. But It wasn’t till he was older when things began falling down hill. You see while Salem was outside with his creator planting flowers in the garden outside of the studio, a small group of sharply dressed men came with a demand to buy the land their studio was on. At fist the Creator said no, but after hearing that their taxes went up they agreed and true while the family didn’t want to leave they had no choice.

So they packed up and left their land, soon they found a new area and it was a pleasant little neighborhood near a small town. And they soon had their new studio up and running, and were making cartoons once again. But after only a month the same men appeared again and asked to buy Salem which the family out right refused to do. The family was more than confused about why these men first bought their last home and now they want to buy a part of their family! Salem was just as confused especially when. They came back every week! And kept asking to buy Salem, One day though while Salem was out picking up supplies for the studio he he followed and then kidnapped by some people in a van.

When Salem woke up he was strapped to a cold metal table in what looked to be a lab. He could hear the lab rats squeaking and pacing about, he struggled to get out but to no avail. Salem was soon met with scientists that took him from his home and family. They explained about a strange flux of energy that they found coming from him, they thought it was coming from the land their home was sitting on. But after they moved, the energy disappeared and so after more inspection they found that it came from Salem himself.

That where Salem’s torment began, he was first introduced to his new life style by having his tail sawed off him. They needed a large enough sample from Salem without killing him and so they decided on his tail to be taken. Immediately his balance was thrown off completely, it would take him till he escaped to get used to it. For weeks they sliced him open, caged him like an animal and did experiments on him. But no one mistreated him more than a scientist known as Adam K. Synth, in fact this ass was the one to make Salem unable to show emotion.

Apparently Adam said it was an Accident’ when he severed a vital connection in his brain. This connection helped Salem’s face show his emotions but once cut he could feel emotions still but his face stayed blank. That wasn’t even the worst of it, the ‘good’ doctor was also the one that gave Salem the horrible scar around his neck. You see during one of Salem’s check ups, Adam was the one giving it and he was always way to handsy for his own good. So Salem tried to fight back clawing at him and biting him, but he was strapped to the table unable to fight back. And as punishment Adam used a glove and covered it in a slime from a poisonous plant. Then Adam proceeded to throttle Salem and the slime burned the poor toon’s neck it also caused inflammation, itching, burning sensation and loss of voice temporarily. Even the fur never grew back after the incident, Salem was soon broken and had lost hope in escaping…so he decided to make a friend.

In one of the cages next to him was a puppy like toon, she was so young and Salem found out that the Pup known as Poppy, was actually a test subject for certain meds and drugs. They became friends but one day they took Poppy…..and she never came back, Salem was devastated as he soon found out that Poppy died in testing. He curled up in his cage in agony now that his only friend and company was now gone and he was left in the hell. Months went bye as the testing got more severe, he swore he was going insane..but luckily for Salem they were leading him down the hall for testing, but suddenly an explosion happened from a wall, apparently a gas line met a flame and BOOM! The entire wall of the left hall exploded.

As people were in a frenzy to try and figure out what was going on, Salem made his escape and ran and ran and ran. As fast and as far his legs could carry him, he didn’t dare stop in fear he’d be dragged right back and tormented again. After finding a place to stay he hid out until he could figure out what to do…After figuring out what the scientists did to his body such as his tail missing, his chest being opened, and on his left arm. Most test were when he was drugged up and so he could only assume the most tests were on his chest. And of course the one on his neck that Adam gave him.

Salem then decided to get a new wardrobe, and he stole the scarf and boots. And then set off to find his family, when he got home however as he was about to enter the door and the studio explodes, immediately killing the family with in it…apparently the facility anticipated that Salem would get away one day..and planted a bomb on the home. They assumed Salem would then have no where to run after that..Salem was caught in the blast, his face taking a devastating blow, the flames scorching him and melting the entirety of the right side of his mouth. He then watched in horror as his family and home was gone….just like that everyone and everything he loved was turned into ash before his emotion deprived eyes.

Salem shed tears that night crying, as he walked defeated down the side walk. But as he passed an alley he heard voices and one was saying “F-Fellas can’t we talk this over?!” Salem stopped and went back and looked to see three large guys surrounding a sleek and handsome looking black cat toon. Salem blinked as he started confused although not being able to show it, as the three toons growled and the boss in the middle pulled out a gun and pointed it at the black cats head. “I don’t think so, you promised the goods tonight! And here you are making excuses!” The boss growled.

Salem apparently walked in on a deal of some sort, and the sleek cat’s back hit the brick wall behind him. “Time to take you down to five lives you silver tongued rat!” The boss started to pull the trigger, suddenly the boss cried out as someone hit his head with a pipe. Salem had climbed a apartment fire escape latter, and grabbed a pipe and jumped to deliver a good whack to the bosses head. The three ignored the tall cat in favor of looking at the shorter one who while looked bored was GOD DAMN PISSSED.

After his abuse his anger finally decided to release it on these three and he threw the pipe in favor of pulling out his very first hammer space item…a lit dynamite bomb! Before the three could do anything Salem ran and grabbed the taller cat’s hand and forced the other to run and hop over a fence into a construction yard. Immediately the bomb exploded causing a serial movie moment, the two managed to escape fast. Soon Salem learned the others name known as Figaro…and as Salem was about to leave Figaro placed his hand on his shoulder and offered him a job.

This really surprised the smaller of the two, Figaro explained he needed a helper of mayhem. And that the dynamite trick he did was perfect, Salem declined the offer but spoke as he left saying “I will take the job….only after I become something worth having around….Only then will I join you…when I am worth something to you..” Figaro grinned happy as he spoke back “Alrighty!~ I’ll be waiting my friend~” and with that the two separated ways. And immediately Salem got to work on becoming a spy and demolition expert, after 3 years he returned to Figaro…and took the job. And now these two are a near unstoppable pair of mayhem and chaos! ——– Figaro © @thereisinkinmylungs

Salem © @animal-guardian

I adopted Salem from @cartoonscutie and am to happy with doing so! Also the art of Salem above is by her to!

Please don’t steal art or character