#tired of skinny hoes

[aloharyda]

If there's character creation in your video game it should let you choose your bodytype AND weight.

[angelichigh]

all tea, all shade. i’m tired of some of y’all hoes telling plus sized people, bipoc, disabled people, queer and trans people what aesthetic they do and don’t belong in. who tf are y’all to have the right to tell people they can’t be coquette???

coquette is for everyone, you don’t need to be skinny and white to put on some heart shaped sunglasses and a lace cami top bffr

at the end the day we’re all individuals with autonomy to wear what we want. marginalized people are gonna be apart of the aesthetic, and they’ve been here since the beginning.

so y’all can stay mad xoxo

[slutty-cherry]

𝒃𝒆𝒂𝒄𝒉 𝒃𝒂𝒃𝒆 ‎·｡˚✦.˳꙳

cw: fingering, name calling (darling, baby, princess), praise, vaginal penetration, smut, skinny dipping, intended lowercase wc: 586 scenario: boyfriend eren takes you out on a beach date (incoherent screaming noises)

i kin all the eren hoes out there mwah

bf!eren would ask you what you'd be wearing the next day, greatly in anticipation of the date he planned, constantly pestering you about what bikini you'd be wearing.

bf!eren on his knees, practically salivating at the sight of you in a blue bikini, matching his trunks.

bf!eren pushing his fingers in you for a third time with your bikini on. "fuck princess gonna come on my fingers again?" he whispers as you moan, finishing on his hands.

bf!eren licking his fingers clean, finally deciding to start off the date with a rather...enjoyable "pre-date"

bf!eren setting up the blanket and umbrella for you in the sand in a nice and quiet place, mindful of your dislike towards crowds.

bf!eren holding your hand and running to the ocean, splashing you with the salty water and clicking candid pictures of you and putting them as his wallpaper.

bf!eren hoisting you up on his shoulders after you asked him how the weather was 'up there'. "i don't know sweetheart...how 'bout you tell me?" he smirked as he ran into the ocean as you yelled 'charge!!' to no apparent enemy, clutching on to his face for dear life, breathless from laughter.

bf!eren dropping you into the ocean, just to pick you up bridal style. "am i strong or am i strong?" he winks, flexing his biceps as you giggle out a curse, poking his bulging bicep.

bf!eren taking you to a cute café and simply staring at you as you gobble down the food. "eat as much as you like. i cant stop staring at you...you look adorable," he rambles as you turn red.

bf!eren throwing you across the shoulders, and heading back to the beach, refusing to let you pay.

bf!eren not letting go of your hand as you collect seashells on the shore, staring at your ass while you bend to pick them up.

bf!eren laying on your lap as you played with his hair, watching the beautiful sunset.

bf!eren blushing like crazy when you clicked pictures of him in the golden hour, making it your wallpaper.

bf!eren not taking his eyes off of you as you rambled on about some new show you've been hooked on. "no no, i'm not distracted...keep going princess," he chuckles absent mindedly while staring at your lips.

bf!eren suggesting a late night skinny dip in the ocean, because of the lack of people, and taking off his trunks while signalling you to follow suit.

bf!eren not being able to take his eyes off of you as he takes in the sight of your body glistening in the moonlight, water dripping from your hair to your shoulders. "fuck baby i can never get tired of looking at you...damn...," he whispered while running his hands around your back pulling you in for a kiss.

bf!eren thrusting in and out of you on the blanket as you mutter a string of curses. "that's right baby...fuck you're so tight, princess," he said between moans as he massaged your breasts with his free hand. "pretty pussy fits me like a fuckin' glove, huh, princess?" he grunts as his thrusts get sloppier, and your moans get louder.

bf!eren moaning as you come on his cock, shuddering, as he says, breathlessly, "such a fucking good girl for me...pound you in the shape of my cock, havent i, love? ruined you for everybody else, huh? ah fuck..." as he finishes inside you .

bf!eren taking out the wet wipes and saying "good girl," as he kisses your forehead before cleaning you up.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟

(a.n: as a touch starved, sleep deprived slut, my visions have been wild. i miss him)

[st4rvingb0dy]

I don’t even know what to do anymore I have a crush on this guy but I completely don’t fit his beauty standards. Maybe it’s because I’m fat. I don’t know what to think. He likes slim thick girlies that wear lashes and lace fronts. What is a girl to do when I look nothing like that. I’m just tired of being played and being ugly. I used to laugh when people joked about it but it’s not funny anymore. I feel like shit. School is draining ppl still tryna beef and no matter how much I protect my goddamn peace these bitches are always waiting around the corner. Get off the tip bitch like damn You bitches stay dick ridin all of a sudden I’m a “weird ass ho” and a “fake trifling ass bitch” because I didn’t give you a piece of gum. Bitch grow the fuck up. My crush likes this girl. She’s skinny and short. I’m gonna listen to some height decreasing subliminals and cut down more. Maybe he just doesn’t like me. At all. Maybe I’m the problem. I’m starting to get suicidal again and honestly this is the only part in life where I make decisions to make MYSELF happy bc I genuinely don’t gaf anymore. Like my mom could be begging on her hands and knees for me to eat and I wouldn’t care bc she would tell me I would end up on my 600 lbs life before. I can’t trust none of these ratchet man snatchin ass hoes

STARVE DURING HALLOWEEN SO YOUR BEAUTIFUL BONES CAN LOOK CARVED OUT LIKE A PUMPKIN! 🎃

[cxphas]

Idk what he or his PR team think. When the scandal first came out, he should’ve just pulled out the notes app statement and spin it with an apology and “please respect our privacy during this time.”

That way he wouldn’t have had as much backlash and he can have his 30 year old hoe phase in peace. His team has done nothing to give him a better media presence and he just doesn’t look as cute or desirable as he did back in 2021. He always looks tired, when he’s not in the studio he’s at a strip club or a bar, his hairline is thinning, and in interviews, it seems like he’s on edge or doesn’t want to be there half the time. And don’t get me started on the outfits! I’d I see those grey skinny jeans one more time. 😡 He needs a revamp.

the generic outfit of a white top and jeans 😭

yeah his whole PR team need to go cause they’re clearly not helping him if everyone’s speaking on him in a bad light, nigga where is your publicist because they’re not doing the best job either

[casspurrjoybell-28]

Alpha's Temptation - Chapter 13

*Warning: Adult Content*  

The next morning I make the resolution that I have to get up and go to school. I'm only making it worse by staying in my room all day with no social interaction.

As I get ready, pulling on some black skinny jeans, my mind replays the events of yesterday. How Daemon got so close to me and lifted my face, dark brows furrowed in some emotion I can't place.

He wasn't acting like himself. Had he really been... concerned for me?I know I'm being stupid for even considering that. There's no way Daemon cares for me.

But when I remember how it felt in his arms for the brief second he caught me, how safe I felt against his chest, I wish it was true. But those are just silly thoughts.

My friends are crazy enough to see Daemon as a romantic prospect for me but I'm certainly not. I do my best to shake thoughts of Daemon from my mind and grab my bag and go downstairs.

Lucien is able to drive me today, thankfully. I don't necessarily want to face the guy I tried to hit with a baseball bat and also cried about my test grade in front of.

I nearly fall asleep in the car on the way to school, still feeling extremely exhausted by the emotional turmoil I went through during the weekend.

I'm still feeling anxious about the nightmare and have already slipped back into the habit of picking at my nails until the surrounding skin of my cuticle is all bloody and torn. I just try my best to avoid thinking about it.

Because if I think enough about what went down in my stepfather's basement it'll put me back there, to that horrible experience and I don't want to feel that terrible fear ever again.

I have to distract himself. It's the only way I can get through this. Lucien briefly suggesting going to talk to the school councilor about 'whatever it is' that's bothering me but I immediately refused.

I don't want anybody to know. They can't know. If I just pretend like it never happened then it'll go away... right? When I get to my locker I find a frazzled-looking Lylah waiting there, shouting out my name when she sees me.

"Ash," she says, throwing her arms around my neck, sending me stumbling back onto the cool metal of the lockers.

"Um, hi?" I say.

She pulls back, giving me an incredulous look.

"Hi? Hi? Is that all you have to say for yourself? You've been AWOL the entire weekend," she exclaims, pulling out her phone and scrolling through the multiple calls and text messages she left me.

"Seriously? We thought you were dead," Wren seems to materialize next to us, making us both flinch.

"Hoe. I swear to God..." Lylah fumes, making to jab at him but he expertly dodges it, as it seems like something he does often.

"Sorry guys," I apologize, nervously grasping the back of my neck. "I turned my phone off and literally was just sleeping the entire time," I lie, though the lying in bed motionless part of it is true.

"So you were so tired you didn't go on your phone even once?" Lylah raises a skeptical eyebrow.

"Basically..?" I shrug, cursing myself for how obvious I sound.

"That's insane, Ash. I couldn't survive like, one hour without my phone," Wren says, scrolling though his phone at an alarmingly fast rate.

"Clearly," Lylah rolls her eyes at him before turning back to me. "Well I was just worried about you. Everything's okay, right?"

I nod, forcing a smile.

"Yep. Everything is fine."

"Good. But if you ever ghost me again..."

After getting a lecture from Lylah about the importance on communication, I head to my first period. It's algebra so it kind of sucks but we just have to do a simple worksheet so I just try to get it done as quickly as possible.

As I'm finishing up the last problem I feel like someone's watching me so I look up, finding a guy a couple desks over looking at me. When he sees that I caught him, he flashes me a sheepish smile, flashing pearly whites. 

I smile back shyly, blushing a bit because he's pretty cute. He's got curly brown hair and caramel skin and soft hazel eyes ringed by dark lashes.

I don't know why he was looking at me but it's a nice change because attractive guys usually treat me like I'm invisible. Or like I'm an annoyance, in Daemon's case.

Ugh, did I just admit Daemon's attractive? Anyway, I think the guys name is Jay. He's always surrounded with people so I'm guessing he's pretty popular.

Lylah and Wren have mentioned him before too, saying he's one of the hottest guys at our school. I think there's also something else about him but I don't really remember.

I get back to my work, trying to figure out what the hell x equals so I can finish this damn worksheet. My next class is Wolf Studies and it's kind of like a health class and it's mandatory.

Basically we learn about Alpha, Beta and Omega dynamics as well as stuff about our wolf side. It's kind of embarrassing though because the teacher also talks about sex and reproduction.

When I walk into class the teacher announces we're going to be talking about mates. Some people look excited, others look like they could care less. I don't know how I feel about it.

I mean, a mate sounds nice. But Alpha Ferix has told me so many times I'll never have one. I find myself believing it...The teacher tells us to get our notebooks out to takes some notes then starts his lecture.

"As some of you may know, mates are very important in out society. They are our wolf's other half, the person that we share our everything with. That being said, it is not always obvious when you meet your mate. Some even reject their mate but that only happens in rare cases so you young-ins shouldn't worry about that." 

I fidget with my paper nervously. That seems so sad to me. To be able to find your soulmate only for them to reject you.

It's a sick thought. But if someone had a mate like me I'm sure that's what would happen.

"If your Inner Voice hasn't awakened, which is your wolf speaking to you, it won't be there to help you find out who your mate is." the teacher continues... "This is often the case for young Omegas because if they haven't had their first heat their wolf does not to speak them. But even so, many un-awakened Omegas can still feel the connection despite that and will usually choose to spend their first heat with an Alpha of their choosing...."

I kind of zone out after that, tuning back in to see only a few minutes have past. Damn, time goes so slowly when you're waiting for class to end. 

"And in conclusion, mates will ultimately bond, marking each other. This helps them to share themselves with each other more deeply, even sharing a private mind-link. They will be able to sense each other's emotions but this is not to say that unbonded mates cannot feel each other's distress. It is possible to feel it through protective instinct. Now, take what I say with a grain of salt because every mate situation is different. It's not always going to work out exactly like this and your mate won't be without their flaws..."

Hypothetically, just hypothetically, if Daemon were my mate and even unbonded mates can feel each other's distress, could that mean he came that early morning on Saturday because he felt my distress over the nightmare?

No, it's silly and I know that can't be the case. And anyways, Alphas can sense usually when something's wrong. It doesn't only have to because of their mate. 

I shake my head, wondering why I choose to delude myself like this. I don't even like Daemon. I mean, I don't think I do. But him being my mate?

That's ridiculous. But I can't help but feel curious about it. Daemon is so cold. I kind of wonder how he would be like with his mate. 

The bell interrupts my thoughts. I grab my bag and walk out to the hallway. I really hate the hallways.

The chatter of the students is overwhelming and people always bump into be and jostle me around. 

"Uh, hey," I hear someone say but I don't pay attention to it because it's probably someone passing by who's talking to their friend.

"Hi? Ash?" the voice continues and I look up with wide eyes at the alpha who's approached me. 

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know you were talking to me," I say, flustered.

Jay chuckles, looking kind of embarrassed as well.

"No worries. You probably didn't expect me to talk to you so suddenly."

"It's fine," I smile with reassurance. "What's... up?"

I feel kind of awkward. I don't know what to say and I don't want to make a bad impression to a popular guy. In case he'll choose to target me like Trent does.

"You must have noticed me staring at you earlier in first. I wasn't trying to be weird or anything, I was just curious," his face is kind of getting red and I wonder if he has a fever.

"I didn't think you were weird, uh, just friendly. What were you so curious about?"

Jay runs a hand through his curls, looking kind of nervous.

"You. I thought y'know, we could be friends..?" he says it like a question and I'm surprised.

He wants to be friends with me? Me? Why..? But I don't want to be rude when I realize he's anticipating my answer.

"Friends? Really? That's nice of you," I blush and I see his grin widen.

"So you're down?"

"I mean, yeah but may I just ask why?"

Because seriously, I am so confused right now. Is it normal to just go up to class loner and declare you want to be their friend?  

"Well, because you're mysterious, always scribbling away in that little notebook of yours. I wanna know more about you."

I'm embarrassed he pointed out my habit of drawing whenever I have free time. I'm not even very good at it.

I can never draw the other eye and the people I draw end up looking like deformed stick figures. I didn't know he would notice me doing that though.

"Oh but I'm just doodling most of the time, nothing special."

"Hey, hands down, the best art comes from doodling. That's what Ms. Blanca says right?" Jay echoes the words of my art teacher. 

"Yeah, she does," I agree as we continue walking down the hall.

This is nice. An unexpected but not unpleasant surprise. And he wants to my friend. How great is that? 

"You have art next, right? Me too. Let's walk there together from now on."

I nod shyly.

"S-sounds good," I hate that I'm stuttering like this again but I get really nervous in front of new people.

But Jay doesn't seem to mind. And now that I'm taking to him I notice he's actually in a couple of my classes, so it'll be nice to have someone because Lylah and Wren aren't in any of my classes.

"Thanks Jay. It's nice to have a new friend." 

"Jay?" he questions. "That's not my name."

I gape in embarrassment.

"It's not? I didn't mean to be rude. But I really thought..."

Jay starts laughing, a mischievous look on his face.

"God, you look like a deer caught in headlights. I'm joking, obviously."

"Wait, so your name is Jay?" I ask skeptically.

"Technically it's Jason but everyone just calls me Jay."

I pout, crossing my arms.

"Then why did you scare me like that?"

Jay just grins down at me.

"Because it's fun to tease you."

It's fun to tease me? Did I hear him right? What could be fun about that? Jay notices the visible confusion on my face and just shakes his head.

"You wouldn't understand unless you're me," he smirks, opening the art classroom door for me.

[muscle-worlds-stories]

If your still takeing requests i would love if you would turn this skinny canadian guy into a sexy southern farm boy

Yes I do take requests! And if you're reading this and want to request something, my inbox is open!

So...your a skinny Canadian boy tired of the cold eh? Well no more! You're now from the great state of Kansas, home to cornfields and plows. Your family is a great generation of corn and pig farmers. All the heavy work has been put on your shoulders since you could lift things up. Lifting heavy pig feed and hoeing the fields, it has done a lot to your body. Your dad was so proud of you because you decided to join the Kansas Rangers, a group of Lasso whipping cowboys that collect pigs and cows in competition.

You quickly became a vital member because of how strong you've become on the farm. Both the women and the men fawn over you when you come to practice your lasso moves. That's because you always wear these big leather pants and no shirt to tan your sexy physique. They wished they could place their hands on your big biceps and rounded pecs. You fiddled with the rope like a professional. Your strong arms allowed precise movements and little effort in pulling in your prize.

Goodbye small frail Canadian, hello buff Kansas Hunk!

[marvelatthetwilight]

No More Darkness

@fatiguing-thoughts this one is for you! And, as it’s Quil @clearwater-hoe might like this too?!

Quil was your best friend. You did everything together, your families had been friends for years and you had practically known each other since birth. You walked to school together, sat at lunch together, were partners in projects, hung out after school, shared your hopes and your fears, everything that best friends do. Embry and Jacob were like your brothers yes, but with Quil it was always different, like your souls were connected, and you knew each other in a way that no one ever could.

When Embry, and then Jacob disappeared off the face of the earth to suddenly join the Sam gang, you were furious for yourself, but you were devastated for Quil. The whole situation put him on edge, he was constantly anxious that Sam was looking at him in a way he couldn’t really explain, like he knew something Quil didn’t. That somehow Quil was next.

It was after school on a Friday. You were walking on the beach with Quil, talking about Jacob’s recent disappearance and Quil’s strange suspicions.

“I saw Jared and Paul this morning, from a distance of course, and they just had this look in their eyes. Like they were wary of me, watching my behaviour. It’s like they’re waiting for something to happen”. He looked defeated, like he was just waiting for the inevitable. “Y/N I just feel like the darkness is closing in on me, like it did for Embry, like it is for Jacob.”

“Quil you don’t need to feel like that, you know I’ve always been here for you, I will always be there for you. Even if you do join a gang” I nudge him slightly with this last comment and a small smile forms on his face.

“What would I ever do without you Y/N?”

“Lucky for you, you’ll never have to find that out! I don’t plan on going anywhere!” You stop walking and wrap your arms around his waist, pulling him in for one of your famous hugs.

“A Y/N hug never fails to disappoint” you can hear the smile in his voice as he replies as he wraps his arms around your body and gives you a small squeeze.

On Monday morning you head to Quil’s house to walk to school together like you always do.

You hadn’t seen him over the weekend as you’d been dragged to see you grandparents a couple of hours away, which you had told him. He said he was going to catch up on sleep and homework as he had been really tired recently, you thought nothing of it, he’s a teenage boy, that happens.

When he stopped replying to your messages on Sunday, you didn’t initially think anything was wrong, assuming he was just sleeping and hadn’t heard his phone. However, as the day went on, you messaged again, and still heard nothing. When you checked your phone as you woke up Monday morning, you could see he had read your messages but he had still not replied. Something was off.

So here you were, walking up the steps to Quil’s house, about to knock on the door...

The door opens, and you frown as you see Embry step out.

“He can’t see you Y/N, he’s sick. He won’t be coming to school, you need to walk in by yourself.” Embry won’t make eye contact with you, like he knows you will see straight through his lie, but you leave it. You’ve got a big test this morning, you’ll get to the bottom of this later.

“I’ll be back after school.”

“He’ll still be sick then and won’t be able to see you then.” This time he looks down at you, and you take in the changes in the person you saw as a brother. He’s taller, filled out with muscle, not the skinny scrawny boy you grew up with. He has a tattoo on his arm now too, the same tattoo you had seen on Paul and Jared.

“What happened Embry? You look so different. What did Sam do to you?”

He frowns at this. “Sam has helped me, helped us, like he’s going to help Quil. You just need to leave Y/N, I’m sorry.”

With that, he closes the door.

You keep texting Quil throughout the day, hoping that this wasn’t really happening, that you weren’t losing another friend. You heard nothing. The same ghosting as you had from Embry, and Jacob.

You never thought that Quil could ghost you, that your connection was so deep it couldn’t be broken. Quil would never do that, you thought.

There was so much more to all of this than either you or Quil had thought.

You get through your school day, acing your test, but sitting alone at lunch. Alone with your thoughts, putting together a plan. This was the last straw, you rolled over and accepted the loss of Embry, the loss of Jacob, but you weren’t losing Quil.

As the school day finishes you send Quil a final text before you walk back to his house.

I’m coming over. I’m not taking no for an answer. You won’t see me? I’m not leaving.

You walk up the steps to Quil’s front door, again the door opens before you have a chance to knock, but this time you recognise it to be Sam, although you’ve only ever seen him from a distance. Your text must have called in the big guns.

“He can’t see you Y/N, you know this.” He looks at you in sympathy and you can’t stand it.

“But why? Why are you taking all of my friends away? You know I’m completely alone now? Embry, Jacob, Quil, they were my life, my best friends, my family. Now I have no one.” Tears are rolling down your face before you can stop them and a heart wrenching sob leaves your mouth as the words ring true in your heart.

Sam glances behind him and you hear a slight commotion. “Let me see her” you hear. “Embry you know she won’t leave until I do, Sam, let me see her.”

Sam sighs as he pushes the door open fully. You gasp as your eyes fix with Quil’s, his eyes widen and he doesn’t break eye contact as you notice Embry and Sam smirking at each other.

“Er...Quil? Are you ok?” Your voice brings him back to reality, and he shoves Embry as he makes an aww sound whilst looking between the two of you. Quil looks to Sam, who nods and he quickly grabs your hand and starts walking with you towards the woods.

You slow your pace as you reach the edge of the woods. Quil stops, and turns so you are facing each other, he takes both your hands in his and looks into your eyes. He’s never looked at me like this before.

Something stirs inside you, feelings you’d put aside years ago, knowing that nothing would come of them, that Quil would only ever think of you as a sister. But something seemed different.

“There’s a lot I need to explain to you, a lot. But for now I just need to tell you that...you, and me, what we have is really special. For years I’ve loved you, and not like a sister line Embry or Jake. I love you. And now something in me has stirred to give me the confidence to tell you how I really feel.”

Your hands are shaking.

“Y/N, I don’t know if you feel the same, if you’ve ever felt that way about me but I needed to tell you...” Quil looks to the side before speaking again, “you know that darkness I talked about? That feeling of doom? Well, I when I finally understood what was happening, which I promise I will explain, I thought that darkness would disappear. But it didn’t. I still felt it, until that door opened and I looked at you.”

He brings your hands up to his face, kissing them softly.

“One look at you, and, poof, no more darkness”

He smiles softly at you. “You don’t have to say anything, I just needed to be brave, be honest.”

If Quil can be brave then so can I, you thought.

“...I’ve always been in love with you Quil, I feel like our souls are connected in some magical way, that we are, I dunno...it sounds stupid. Like we are soul mates or something.”

He smiles at you again, gently pulling your face up to his and kissing you softly on the lips. He laughs before speaking again.

“Yeah, or something”

Taglist

@volturidoll13 @like-rain-or-confetti @wallwriterstuff @megzdoodle @awesomebooklover17 @moviequeen51 @cncogirl18 @fatiguing-thoughts @clearwater-hoe

[written-beyond-the-grave]

Mikaelsons Black History Month

First off, I’m starting by saying that even though it is no longer Black history month it will always be melanin everyday and black people every day. And everything else under the sun, and if you don’t like it then the exit is to your left. Everything you own in the box to the left

Being part of the Mikaelsons is very fickle business and be some bs. Like really, you’re here with supernatural beings who are over 1000 years old. Who have traveled the world, gained endless knowledge, seen a lot of bloodshed, but you know what they haven’t seen? Their token human (black ofc) being ignant for black history month, I mean who even fully celebrates? How does one even celebrate?

Granted, they’re not racist. But with the writing Julie Pleck did she was playing honestly. That was the worst writing I've ever seen since who knows when. Maybe the nine lives of Chloe king or something? But in my originals universe they were probably racist in the beginning to an extent then grew out of it.

Anyways, they never met someone who celebrated until they met you!

Now repeat after me: I’m black y’all, and I’m black y’all. And I’m black and black and black y’all! FYM

Now…. picture this: A moderately quiet day in the Mikaelson household. Kol is minding his business for once, Rebekah is trying to find the perfect pics for her next instagram post, Elijah is enjoying a good read, and Klaus is organizing his art materials. But then here comes you, the human, opening the door and walking right in like you pay bills (none of them do but you get the picture) in the midst of the most deadly people. Walking in and greeting everyone, walking in with the most hotep, Dr. Umar bullshit getup they ever seen. Coming to America headass.

They recognize your footsteps from a mile away, so when you walk into the kitchen and no one really looks up at first it’ll be a sight to see a whole ass pelted lion on your back. The kente cloth hat (no idea the actual name for it, sorry babes), a saber tooth necklace (for my mans T’Challa), and the red stiletto nails with the afro out here banging.

SHEEEEEEEEESH

Once Elijah is done with his page he looks up to greet you, but then stops… Bitch, fuck is you wearing? This was worlds away from the sweats, and skinny jeans you wore on the daily.

“Greetings Y/N you look…. Fashionable.” Mans didn’t know what to say. Did he miss something about your Africna roots? Was there a holiday he hadn’t heard of, doubt it, but what else was there?

“Thank you Elijah.” You fluff out your lion pelt for added effect, if there was ever going to be one time you outdo the Mikaelsons’ especially Elijah in being dramatic with a coat or cloak of somesort, it would be now.

At this point the Kol and Rebekah have already looked up and were confused. Why are you dressed like that?

Kol is the first one to speak up “Darling, Rebekah likes a fashion show more than anyone, but why do you have a lion… on your shoulder.”

Lifting up your large ass shades you supplied an answer: “Black History Month”

They all looked at each other… they didn’t get it. Like they know what it is, but never actually understood how to celebrate and all that nor did they ever actually give it mind. When you saw that they weren’t making a connection, you started phase 1.

“Alexa, you know what to do.”

And there goes their manor playing: NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA I’M ONE HUNDRED PERCENT NIGGA

LMFAOOOOO you got the white people shook. Klaus just dropped one of his expensive ass bottles of art sealants and is vamp speeding to the kitchen to figure out what the hell is going on. Elijah having a mid century crisis on how tf they even found you and deemed you worthy of being in their presence so casually. Kol is having fun in the back, still laughing at your get up. And Rebekah wishes she went to the mall instead, she wanted a girl bestie and got you instead rip

“WHAT IN BLAZES- Y/N WHAT ARE YOU DO- WHAT ARE YOU WEARING! ALEXA STOP THE MUSIC-” And the big bad wolf has arrived. You put your finger to Klaus’ lips which stuns him bc… you’re still HOOOMAN like damn, death wish much? And you look this man, straight in his mit and say “Looks at, look at me” and pause for dramatic affect, “I am the captain now”

Room silent as hell till Kol starts cackling

You’ve made Dr. Umar proud, the ancestors are shining on you once again

With that you lead into a whole speech about the black struggle and black history month, bottom line: REPARATIONS. Because being the only nigga in the Mikaelsons (we don’t claim Marcel) is exhausting, white people shit everyday that you complain about in their faces

TBH at this point they’re indulging you in this escapade.

First victim is Elijah, you ask for his wallet. He gives you a look, I mean he does technically give you what you want and whatever (when y’all dating, refer back to my dating Elijah post), so he ask you why. Reparations sis why, but then you stop yourself. This man gives you his wallet every other day, half the time you not even asking. What could you rob this man of…. Ah. You ask him for the deed of one of his estates in Prague, why? Because you bitches can’t even spell Prague. And under section S line 45 subsection Y it does state that estates are eligible for reparations. Fuck 40 acres and a mule, you got 300 acres, some stallions in the back, a quite possibly haunted mansion, and a heavy dicked (yeah I said it, a sis been trying to reality shift) original who will turn you out by the end of the day and the end of the month…. Wait till women's history month boo

We know his pockets figgity fat, and it would be figgity wack to not get some

Ngl you take Kol with you so he can buy you food. Granted, he knows what you’re doing, but if he’s going to spend money on anything it will be thawed and it will be music. However, one thing leads to another and you’re both at Wal-Mart waiting to find a parking spot. You stole one off a white minivan trying to move in. Not thinking anything of it because who in this small ass Mystic Falls ass, clown ass town really about it? Apparently Karen.

But you know who else what about it? Kol (tbh mans had nothing but time, and he claims you so why tf not.) he out here NY stomping on her and coming at her for badly glued extensions. Cheap ass bitch, ain’t even blend in correctly.

After that Kol and you left with some groceries, a new story to tell, and a chopped cheese.

With Klaus, he frfr wasn’t finna do shit. Being ordered my a human? Lmfao, go find another simp sis. But… once you suggest that his art skills may not be up to par on what you have in mind as a new family room piece for your house he’s all ears. He knows what you’re doing, but… he still wants to prove you wrong. But anyways, you give him a theme… reverse racism. IK y’all, it’s not a thing, but mans has ideas. And he outdoes himself. That and the recreation of the moorish chief bc that man...mmmmm that man was giving.

Ok so Google wanna hoe me, but there was a painting of a black man in a kkk cloak and behind him were white people being hung from a tree. Say what you want, but that photo was fire. If any of you seen it please share it below.

Anyways

Rebekah tbh wants no part in this, but I feel like she’d gave when you ask her to give you all the finest dresses bc it’s an excuse to exhaust Klaus’ money.

Through the month you give the Mikaelsons a run for their money, and maybe sanity. Klaus is in the back trying to research who tf Dr. Umar is and why is he your inspiration

They had to pull you back when the sheriff asked you for your ID. You ask why you needed white man paperwork!

You are pleasing the spirits, what bonnie could never do lmfaooooo. The powers of you enemies aren’t prospering this month nor next month.

You’re not poor this month, anything you poor of is pouring a little more (bars nigga)

LMFAOOOO imaging asking the fam to go to paris, like, they not invited it’s a self trip funded my the Mikaelson Y/N Trust Fund of Public Decency ™

Klaus would be the first one to speak because this man is TIRED, “Love, why do you need a trip to paris? What’s in Paris?”

Knowing better, you look to Kol to answer the question, “I don’t know, Kol, who’s in Paris?” Niggas b. Niggas in paris…. Lemme chill

LMFAOOO enjoy

[bby-d1p]

No It doesn’t

buckle up ladies😩

“I don’t like it“ Jania huffed. “what’s wrong J“ I hugged her from behind, ‘This‘ she squished her stomach. “What?“ I didn’t see anything wrong, she had on a green two piece that complemented her dark skin.I faced her blocking her view of the mirror “I don’t know it’s just I don’t like the way my body is shaped, its either you always see my stretch marks or the bulge of my stomach.“ Jania said teary eyed looking up at me. “It doesn’t matter“ I sighed.”Yes it does”she argued “I love and want the way your mind thinks, I wanna know about every scar, every quote on quote imperfection, your body is how I want it.I’m tired of these plastic hoes I want a real barbie like you“ I held on to her waist, looking her in those beautiful grey eyes they twinkled at me with lust,anticipation and love.”Thanks babe I needed that I still think I’m too chubby“ she looked down. “Jania Israel, when are gonna understand baby fuck all of those skinny ass ‘women’ I love you. Out of all the females that could be here right now looking out this big ass window, my arms wrapped around them s we stare out into Australia, you think your to chubby because of a two piece? I love you naked, clothed, in any and every kind of way.”

She kissed me deeply before responding “LaMelo I don’t deserve you, you care to much and pay attention to so many details small or large.You love hard, show affection, make time for me, complement me when I need it most thank you bubba.“she smiled brightly,”we’re staying here tonight.“ I began to unbutton my shirt.”Why?“ She wiped slightly visible tears away.”Because I don’t wanna go out to eat anymore.“ I began to slid down my jeans and she too began to remove her clothing.”So what are we gonna eat?” Jania stared to look for the remote.”well I’m gonna eat you and then we can have dino nuggets if that’s okay?“ She paused getting on the bed.”That’s fine with me“ she shrugged smirking. I took a moment to admire her beauty, her chocolate skin complement the orange lace set I was damn near drooling until I saw white go over her body. A Blanket. “Mama we just talked about this“ I lied next to her tugging at the blanket.”I know you just make me nervous and comfortable at the same time“ her cheeks flushed a nearly invisible shade of pink.”I know one thing“ I smiled at her “and what’s that my love?“ She batted her natural lashes. “I’m hungry fo- me too“ she cut me off sitting up.”Uh uh no ma’am we are not doing that it’s my turn“ I pushed her hand off my length she once palmed. “Mch“ she sucked her teeth.

”Loose it“ I pushed her up against the headboard softly unhooking the orange lace contraption keeping me from what I wanted.“mch“ Jania sucked her teeth once again at my slow pace kissing down her neck.”Baby?“ I smirked,”yes?“ she barley managed to get out as I started to rub her clit. “You’re wet that’s all“ I remove her underwear and my lips from her neck. “I’ll be back shortly ma’am“ I flashed my bright smile at her aggravated face right where I want her.I left our room and walked toward the hall closet. I grabbed the melatonin we keep for the triplets Three kids are TOUGH. I poured wine into two glasses dropping the small pill in her cup. (Melatonin is natural and safe my baby sister takes it every night before bed. he’s not drugging her it’s just a kink somehow💀) I waited for it to fizzle down then walked back in the room. “You’re back“ J kissed my lips standing on her tippy toes making me giggle lightly.”I don’t like what I see“ She took a sip.”what do you mean“ I sat on the bed.”You have on clothes“ she yawned smirking.”Just boxers“I looked down at my lap.”baby I’m tired“ Jania yawned once again, exactly what I needed.After she went to sleep I threw on some sweats and walked out the door locking it behind me.

Jania Pov

I woke up to something cold around my wrists. I smelled my candle Lust from Victoria secret. I felt around in the bed with my feet but Melo wasn’t there.”Baby!” I called out.”You’re awake” LaMelo smiled at me walking in our room. I had my back arched,my face gently rested in a pillow and my hands cuffed together. I shivered as his warm fingers move in a figure eight motions on my clit.I moaned lightly as he began to move his fingers faster in and out of my core which was now dripping.”Fuck” I said as my legs shook.”baby don’t be so hard on yourself, you beautiful and I love it when you make beautiful juices for me” Lamelo said pushing my ass up further while suck on on my pussy. Which caused slurping sounds to erupt against the four grey walls of our bedroom.”Mmm” He hummed sending vibrations down my spine. I tried to lean forward but he just pulled me back down.”don’t run Israel” he grunted only turning me on more.I wished he would have let me finish but, he removed his tongue from my heat and walked toward the dresser,”Bite on this” his voice was coarse and he had a gag ball in his hand.After putting it on he began to speak,”count for me if you mess up we start over” I shook my head in agreement.”shit tight” he mumbled siding his shaft inside my dripping core making me wince a little at his size.”one” I moaned as he slapped my ass cheek leaving a light pink mark.

15 spanks and two nuts later..............

“Shit just like that“ I yelled as Lamelo began to rub my clit endlessly as he delivered each stroke rapidly throwing my legs over his shoulder.”Don’t ever doubt your beauty“ he whispered in my ear leaving trails of wet kisses down my neck.I dug my nails into his back s I started to cum, but felt emptiness; he pulled out. “Look bro you’ve done this too many times I wanna fuck so fuck me“ I grumbled looking at his back muscles. “Wait“ he replied sharply walking out the room. “I’m tried of this bro” I mumbled walking out of the room also. I grabbed his arm, turned him around and slid his shaft in my mouth.I swirled my tongue around his tip teasing him “mmm“ I hummed sending shivers down his spine.Drool started to pour from my mouth but it only turned him on more, to my surprise he grew even harder.I licked from the base all the way to the tip causing him to groan "fuck” loudly. His body jerked violently as ropes of thick cum shot on my face I licked my fingers from the access cum that dripped down.I motioned LaMelo down to my level after wiping the cu moff my face.”I love the taste of cum on your fingers but I prefer it in my pussy” I said lifting my leg up over his dick and running my baby pink nails down his neck”I-I think th- that’s a good idea” he stuttered. “Couch” I spoke “it’s my turn.” I walked over to him and slowly slid down on his rock hard shaft.

“Ooo“ I moaned as he pushed his dick all the way inside.”bounce“ His voice shudder yet still had roughness in it.”yes daddy“ I smiled deviously and began to bounce. “Do you like how tight my cunt his baby?“ I left kisses down his neck.”Mmm“ he groaned.”Words“ I whispered boldly as his large hands moved my waist in a steady motion.”yes I lo-love how t-tight your c-cu-cunt is“ he contained his moans as best as he could.”you’re so wet“ LaMelo started to suck on my left breast while massaging the other.”Fuck I’m close“ I gripped the back of the couch. LaMelo was slamming my hips down so hard I’m sure the neighbors could hear.”You’re so big“ I moaned massaging his balls which made him pause for a moment in pleasure.”Fuck!“ he grunted as loads of his thick cum shot into me while I came as well.”I want you to fuck my dripping cunt from the back and don’t give me mercy.“ I pouted seductively sliding off his member and arching my back on the other part of the charcoal black sectional.”I don;t know where this is coming from but I love it“ he said slamming into me.”Just like that baby yes.” I moaned

“Can you tell me how much you love this dick?” he griped my neck while roughly pounding into to me.”Mhm I love this big dick so much” I cried cumming ”good girl“ he came all over my back.”You are my pride and joy along with our three beautiful girls“ He kissed my forehead and closed his eyes starting to snore lightly.”I love you lamelo“ and with that I fell asleep as well.

Hope you enjoyed💞💞

[theda-rison]

Monthly Monday Mixtape!

(A day late because I was stricken with Tired Bitch Syndrome yesterday after fighting with our requisition system 🙄)

(Also, it seems like May isn’t showing up in the tag, so here it is)

 June 2022

Hoeing It Up In The International Goth Club

I hate summer so you would never actually be able to get me into a club, but I’ll dance in my air-conditioned room at home and hoe it up there! The summer is too hot and we should like, seriously consider turning down the sun at least a few thousand degrees (that’s the goth part, honestly).

Anyway, I think we might have Wonho to thank for this playlist. Eye On You is still in head, rent free, and he’s already had a new comeback. Like... what was the reason, sir?

[I was going to put a picture here of him, shirtless, and say “What was the reason?” but like... I don’t need to. We can all imagine it.]

Here’s the tracklist: 

Skinny Legs - Elohim

Sacrilegium - Zeal & Ardor

Obey - Priest

Blah Blah - Heyson

You Spin Me Round (Dead or Alive) - 3TEETH

Toxic (Britney Spears) - Izzy Perri Cover

Vantablack - Twin Rattler

Bewitched - PIXY

Eye on You - Wonho

skinz - OnlyOneOf

Soulringer - ExEdrA

Virus - Priest

Embrace - Ludovico Technique

Stripped (Depeche Mode) - Rammstein

I love all of these covers, btw. A New Romantic cover of Toxic is kind of genius.

I hope you enjoy it! :D

[sunnys-rewatch-blog]

S1, E13

"Know Your Frenemies"

TW: ED, diet, and weight stigma talk; fatphobia.

I feel like the bulk of my posts have been criticisms/complaints, so I want to clarify that I do genuinely like this show- although I can't tell you why. The writing was at its best in the earlier seasons, and even some of these scripts are completely out of whack sometimes. In terms of logic and mystery components, this show gets a lot more wrong than right. Yet, I'm able to watch it back a second time- knowing most of the major story beats- and nothing feels "spoiled" for me. I'm completely engaged. PLL has this magical quality where it failed at almost everything it was trying to accomplish but succeeded in getting me hooked and interested unironically. I want to know which deity blessed this production and what kind of karma Marlene has that it was awarded to her.

That said, I completely forgot about Alison having a fling with Ian. Byron Montgomery is the only cheating scuzzball in this town who wasn't seeing Alison. I wonder if she really did have feelings for any of them or if it's supposed to be implied that she didn't because she had feelings for Emily. I want to know what was going through her head when she was getting everyone to kiss her- like, what was that? This show is very good at making me ask questions, not good at answering them.

Also, why did Ian do this??? He was with Melissa, then Spencer for a while, and then also Alison? He might as well rob a fucking daycare. And it's so fucking weird that he becomes a suspect and none of the people who are suspicious feel that way because he's a predatory hoe. Not one person.

I don't know of anywhere that the rule is you need an "A" to play sportsball. I didn't play sports in high school, though.

This cupcake scene is hard to sit through, for so many reasons. I think the worst of it is just how much they minimize and shift the problem in the end. This storyline does a shit job of holding Alison accountable for mocking and bullying Hanna. To someone who actually has weight trauma, it's actually obvious to me that Alison is one of Hanna's triggers. And I'm tired of hearing shit like "I decided to start treating myself better" because it both validates the bullying (or at least glosses over it) and minimizes the amount of time and effort it takes to learn new coping skills- you can't just wake up one day and decide not to have an ED. It's also harmful and dangerous to push this narrative that self-care is going to lead to thinness. For actual people in recovery from certain EDs, weight gain is a natural part of returning to health. And I also wouldn't consider a life where your diet revolves around how much of what you can eat without "getting too fat" self-care. That's not recovery. It's shifting the topic of your anxiety, not learning how to manage it.

It's hard to be reminded that, for so many people, looking like me would be their worst nightmare. I wish this show had used Hanna's storyline more to put a spotlight on how society's view of how to treat fat people is often very wrong. I once heard a radio broadcaster talking about how the prevalence of ED diagnoses is going up in certain teen populations, and he said this on his broadcast: "If this is what we have to do to get our kids skinny and healthy again, that's great!". I know one woman, an actual nurse, who told me she had problems with stress eating literally until she vomits and thought she could cure that by going on keto (to which I definitely told her it sounds like she needs therapy, not a diet...I would qualify that as an act of self-harm, at the very least). And instead of doing that, they just picked up the same cookie-cutter bullshit every other show does and gave us pre-packaged diet propaganda. Not sure how much I want to elaborate on this. The show treats Hanna's problem as if it were a problem with weight instead of a mental health issue by prescribing treatment "get thin all in one summer, have a glow-up, learn fashion" instead of actual mental health treatment. You don't treat an ED with a diet.

Also, this flashback- first of all, I don't think Alison is acting with malice. She is malicious towards Hanna at times, I don't think this is one of them; it is, unfortunately, not uncommon for teenagers to experiment with disordered eating behaviors (weight stigma is so pervasive that flirting with this kind of fire is normalized), and not all teens who experiment with it will go on to develop full-blown disorders. Second, this is another thing that I don't think was fully addressed with Alison. Does Alison also have an ED, or is this something she at least regularly experimented with? Did Cece tell her about it (an unfortunate number of trans people also have EDs)? Because she came up with this "solution" awfully quick. To my memory, this was also never addressed.

Interestingly, this could also be an in-cannon explanation as to why Alison really filled out in the last season or so. I hardly noticed (honestly just thought this was what post-puberty looked like on her- and of course that she is beautiful, you will never see me complain) until I stumbled across an interview where she talked about getting hate comments for her size (which, to me, really reflects how badly we failed at getting the message across that no one deserves to be bullied- at any time, for any reason). That might be another topic for another post, though. Suffice to say, they had an ideal opportunity here to say that Alison was also in recovery for a disordered eating issue and this was what healing looked like on her. If they were less cowardly and more clever, they could have used it to their advantage instead of hiding her at every possible turn. Let thicc girls be badasses!

There is...absolutely no way she can sit there and eat all of those cupcakes without getting nauseous. I think I would cap at maybe three of those, unless I was drunk and/or high out of my mind. The way they make us watch this whole damn thing like, actually hurt my stomach. And I never got thin.

"It's Mrs. Fields, to you"- oh, fuck off, you self-important tightwad. I guess I'll give props to this actress, though; she's pissing me off, so she must be doing something right. I don't understand how she can be so upset over this with the news that their neighbor's child was murdered and buried in her own backyard. I'm sorry, but "better a gay child than a missing or dead child" should absolutely be on her mind. I feel like these adults are in the fucking Twilight Zone, like somehow their lives don't overlap??? They barely seem aware that their neighbor's kid is dead.

For once, I'm greatful for this Ezria drama, because I need a break between the homophobia and ED storylines. Ezra really thinks he's doing something over this damn, stupid grade. Does he only have princibles when it comes to Noel? It's okay for him to use Aria but not okay for Noel to use him?

Why does "A" have this much investment in Ezria? But they can't bring up some dirt on Pam to keep her from being a bitch? I feel like the first person Alison would have wanted to protect would have been Emily. "A" should have taken the bitch's kneecaps.

I wonder if any of the ghostwriters writing under the "Sara Shepherd" pseudonym watched this show. What I wouldn't give to see their reactions.

[itstimewehavesomesoliddick]

Help this illness is slowly turning me into a tired looking skinny white guy help me I don't want hello kitty xanax hoes to start messaging me noooooooo

[power106hq]

𝚀𝚄𝙴𝙴𝙽𝚂 𝙲𝙾𝚄𝚁𝚃 𝙴𝙿𝙸𝚂𝙾𝙳𝙴 𝙾𝙽𝙴: 𝚂𝙾𝙲𝙲𝙴𝚁 𝙼𝙾𝙼𝚂, 𝙲𝙰𝚁 𝚁𝙴𝙿𝙾𝚂, 𝙰𝙽𝙳 𝚃𝚁𝙸𝙲𝙺𝚂.

QUEENS COURT is now LIVE! Powered by Power 106 FM in partnership with TS MADISON and KHIA. The podcast will go live at 9 PM (yes we late) every SUNDAY. Starting off with a recap of the week, KHIA will share her opinions on the biggest news stories and rumors of the past seven days. The court will then be accepting callers (anons) to send in their own thoughts about the past week. To close the show, KHIA and TS will issue out presents to the celebrities discussed in the recap. Click below to stream the full episode!

TS MADISON: We are live baby! Welcome viewers and callers to Queens Court starring myself and the legendary Ms.Khia Thug Misses! We are going to get right into the gig tonight and waste no time. Now remember that everything said is alleged unless we say otherwise. We don’t need any of these rich folk trynna get us shut down or give us gag orders. Starting off this episode we are going to be having a segment of DIVORCE COURT. Now Miss.Khia how do we feel about some alleged trouble in paradise for the West family?

KHIA: Yes, allegedly Meat Lofi and Yeezus the Goddess marriage is on the rocks due to Meatys lack of housewife abilities. Allegedly Mr. Yeezus is sick and tired of his wife not being able to be his rock when he needs her to be. The people are saying Yeezus asks his wife multiple times during the day for his meds and a crustless ham and cheese and she reportedly can’t even handle that task. Allegedly he also is criticizing her ability as a mother. Reports are saying that the two’s eldest child has been playing tee-ball for about three months now, and Meaty hasn’t showed up to one game. As a mother and wife, your job is to be there for your kids. Bitch, your baby is out there playing her heart out in the dirt the least you could do is push that van to the park and give some orange peels out to the kids. Meat Lofi, I don’t really know what else to say about these allegations. I hope that they aren’t true and you’re actually out there with the other moms on game day. What else could you possibly be doing? I’m on team Yeezus with this situation, a real woman takes care of her tribe! I’m gon’ sentence this dizzy ass bitch to a year of Home Economics classes. Hopefully carrying around them plastic babies will help you take of your own! NEXT CASE!!!

TS: Wow, okay. Moving on to CIVIL COURT we have reports of rapper Saint being involved in an altercation with the members of DVSN, who as you all should know are signed to his management label. We were actually able to get some insiders tea on what that was about. Now Miss. Khia how do we feel about what took place earlier this week between the OVO family?

KHIA: Yes, apparently the stars were out for somebody’s event last week and Saint was one the bigger names mentioned, but for a completely different reason. Now, allegedly Paint

TS: Wait Miss.Khia, who’s Paint? 

KHIA: Oh, that’s what the ‘girls’ call him ‘round there on the Ave. ‘Paint Leave-A-Nigga-Shitty Arazi’ has not been paying his artist at all! Allegedly he’s been in debt for a while now due to him receiving costly services from the girls with ‘no no spots’ down there at the piers. Now the people are saying he’s been taking care of a woman by name of Dashiki but we gon get into that tea on a later date. But apparently this is the reason why his artist aren’t getting paid. This led to an altercation at the event last week where Paint got jumped by the struggling artists. I’m 100% sure this isn’t the first time Paint has been chucked around like this. Allegedly he’s been the host of annual “Arazi Bukkake” parties every first Sunday of Pride Month, so I’m sure this was familiar territory for him at first. But when them niggas started really lettin’ lose on him it became a bit too much. I’m gonna sentence Paint to three years of self defense classes and two years of personal finance classes. NEXT CASEEEE!!!

TS:

KHIA: Speaking of personal finances and leaving niggas shitty, next on the docket is Miss. Xymira Futon in BANKRUPTCY COURT. Now I’m not really gon’ spend much time on this one because I don’t believe this is her fault entirely. We the people allege that Ms. Futon has been getting played her entire career by our previous defendant Mr. Yahweh “Crazy Steve” West. It’s being alleged that Crazy Steve hasn’t been paying Cosmo and this resulted in the parking boot being clamped on her beat up ass G-Wagon. I’m Team Cosmo on this one how you feel about this shit sis?

TS: Girl, I-.

KHIA: You don’t wanna talk about this? Well I’ma leave it alone but like I been telling y’all hoes: Don’t trust no nigga, don’t trust no Christian, don’t trust no sissy?! Don’t trust Crazy Steve either. I’m sentencing Ms.Futon to remedial reading classes. Bitch ain’t no way in hell you read yo contract the way Crazy Steve swallowing up all yo’ coins. Go learn how to read and find a way to get out the asylum bitch. NEXT CASEEE!!!

TS: Okay, well. We are moving on to the COURT OF APPEALS. Now Miss. Thugga has been spotted around the beautiful city of Los Angeles for the first time in months since Señora Sabrina went on that lady’s show and told everyone that he was violent towards her. Now, Sabrina did have a lot of women and movements behind her that shamed the man but Miss. Thugga also has his believers who don’t believe the entire truth was told in the interview. Miss.Khia do we think the people should appeal Miss. Thugga’s sentence of cancellation?

KHIA: Yes, well just to recap apparently Sabrina is alleging that Thugga had been abusing her while and when they were together. She didn’t speak up about it while it was going on and we the people wanna know why? Why now out of all times would you tell us ‘bout how this man been knockin’ you in yo shit for the better half of y’alls relationship? I don’t know bout this one y’all, I’m team Thugga on this. I think Sabrina’s ultimate plan was to trap him with a baby but since she’s not able to really produce children like that, ALLEGEDLY, the plans fell through. Also the people have been saying that Thugga had already moved on to another women around the time she went to cryin’ on that old lady show. Now it all makes sense. Bitch you mean to tell me that this man been kickin’ off in yo ass for that long and you ain’t hit a Tina Turner and dart yo skinny ass across the street where grass is a lil bit greener? I just don’t believe this at all! Now that another bitch gathering up all of Thugga’s coins you wanna go to hollering bout how he been kickin’ off in yo ass? Well I’ll tell you this, for that amount of money a month bitch you should’ve continued to get knocked upside yo muthafuckin’ head! The court will appeal Thugga’s sentence and also sentence this lying ass bitch to a lie detector test so we can really see what’s going on here. Next case, I’m tired of talkin ‘bout this bitch.

TS: Oh Lord in Heaven, now we gon’ do our last segment before we start taking some callers. JUVENILE COURT also known as YOUNG DUMB AND FULL OF CUM! is now in session. Now allegedly some people spotted Miss. Chloe Love getting frisky with some D-Listers at an event earlier this week. Miss.Khia how do we feel about this?

KHIA: Well apparently Chloe “Slim Thug” Jones was seen at the drive-in party with one leg on the dashboard and the other hooked in the door handle, chile. Witnesses are alleging that Ms. Jones was sitting on the center console with her legs open wide as all outside while two other men were playing tether ball with her bean. We the people are alleging that these two men were rappers Blueface Bleedem and PontiacMadeDDG. I really don’t have a whole lot to say about this freaky ass lil bitch. I just want to ask, bitch how dumb could you possibly be to let these two melon munchers spread you open like that in the middle of a parking lot? The girls of the girls were supposedly out there trying to watch Precious in peace, but yo trifling ass wouldn’t allow them to do that? I’m sentencing yo pussy to the gas chambers bitch. CASE CLOSED!

TS: Okay that is all the time we have for cases today. The lines are open for callers if the people want to chime in and tell us how they feel about this past week. We’ll be spending the next hour talking to the callers before we get into the gift giving segment of the show. 

[booksand-glitter]

Look yall,

Just cuz i have a tummy, n jiggly thighs n a giant ass, doesn't mean I'm less virtuous than you or even unhealthy...

I have had 0 health problems in my life. I'm healthy. I'm fine. I like pasta and cheese

Everything in moderation!

I'm fkn tired of skinny hoes sayin I'm lazy or unmotivated or embarrassing. Fuck you. I'm fine the way I am and I'm obese and healthy and I know that blows your mind but maybe how about keep your ignorance to yourself?

Ain't nothing wrong with a tummy and ass. It just means I'd bear you more healthy children. But fuck off.

[julessworldd]

Little Rose ch. 3

Sorry for the late update, I was stuck between a short or long chapter.. Warnings: Pure fluff, maybe one sad part if you look hard enough. mentions of alochol, sex, pregnacy. Hope you enjoy! I might need a duff’s hoe help for the next part. I’m thinking about a groupie showing up :)

Axl made me take a few days off after Duff announced his engagement to Mandy. I think he finally put two and two together, figured out I had feelings for his bass player. He didn’t say much when he dropped me off, he stayed and held me forever. He didn’t show any anger when he was at my apartment, but I’m sure some alleyway was destroyed from an Axl twister.

A knock on the door, tore me from my thoughts. I looked out the peephole, it was Izzy. I swung the door opened and planted myself to him, “Hey kid”, Izzy said, rubbing my back. “Okay, let me and the bootleggers in”, Izzy joked as I still had him in the hallway. I pulled a blue Johnny Bootlegger out of the black bag he had. I downed the small bottle, “Thanks, I really needed that I ran out of Tequila this morning”, I wiped my mouth.  “It’s alcohol not water you know that right, kid?”, Izzy looked concerned. “Yeah and you know that my heart is shattered by your asshole bass player, who shall remain nameless in my presence.”, I sassed. “Right, uh”, Izzy trailed off. “What, Iz?”, I asked, opening another bottle. “Bass player wants you to come with you to uh pick out a wedding ring.”, Izzy said. “Okay, you tell him that he has lost his goddamn mind, if he thinks I’m gonna help or support his wedding. I’m not coming either”, I said, looking at Izzy with disbelief. He honestly thought I was gonna be fine after two bootleggers and Duff wanting my help.  “I told him you wouldn’t, but he wouldn’t take no as an answer. I just passed the message, Janie”, Izzy said, holding my hand.

“I know, Izzy. I’m sorry for yelling at you”, I pulled his skinny ass in a hug.

It had been two weeks since, everything I was still at home. Talking to anyone besides Duff and Mandy. Kelly had came over one day, we ended up fucking, but he knew it was just to forget about him for a night. Kelly is a good guy, I hate that I used him like that. He was understanding and didn’t say it bothered him.  “Coming”, I said, prancing to the door. I swung it open to have Duff’s tall frame leaning on the frame. “You have some fucking nerve showing up here! Get out of here!”I screamed, attempted to slam the door, but his foot caught the door. Duff stood up, “Janie” I was already in my living room, trying to not kill Duff on a Thursday night. “Janie, we need to talk”, Duff said standing behind the couch from the door. “No, we don’t” I said, clenching my fist. 

“Please, I need to tell someone”, Duff said, almost crying. I tore my head in his direction, his eyes were holding some tears back and he sucked air in to keep himself from breaking down even more. I unclenched my fist and held my arms open for him, “Come here” Duff practically ran to me, he started crying and held me close. “Shh, it’s okay, Duff. I’ve got you now, nothing is gonna happen to you. Shh”, I held him close, kissed his head. Duff had calmed down and was looking up at me, he fell to his knees after I put my arms around him.  “She cheated on me. I kicked-”, he said, but started crying again. “I’m sorry Duff”, I whispered as I petted his hair. “I came home from an interview with Slash, I didn’t notice his Camaro  when I came home. I caught them in bed, where I slept. You must think this is funny, karma got me.”, Duff said, while laying his head on my stomach. 

“No Duffy, I don’t. I hate it for you, my heart is broken with yours. I’m sorry, she did that, I know how much you loved her.”, I whispered. Duff had stood up and grabbed my hand, “I’m sorry for talking shit about you, going off on you at the studio both times. I didn’t love her much as I love you, Janie. I’ve loved you since, I came over for the audition. You in your Johnny Thunders shirt and boxer shorts. The sassy comment you made to me about my siblings. The secret glances when I was playing with Izzy and Axl, I’ve never forgotten our first time together after that Seattle gig.  I looked at him and started crying. Duff stared at me.

“I’m sorry for saying anything, you’re with Kelly aren’t you?”, Duff asked. 

“Don’t be sorry and no, I’m not”, I smiled. “Then why did you start crying after I confessed my love for you?”, Duff asked softly. “Because, I’ve loved for so long now, I lost you once and I don’t want to lose you again. Screw what people think, especially Axl. I love you, Duff Mckagan”, I smiled. Duff’s grin grew a thousand times more, “So you wanna be my girl officially?”, Duff put his hands on my back. “More than anything, been waiting too long”, I reached up and kissed him. He pulled away, “Way too long, babe” I grinned at him, “Wanna spend the night?” “Yeah, my place is a wreck right now”, Duff whispered, laying his forehead on mine. “We can go tomorrow to clean it up. Right now, I just wanna hold you”, I said. Duff picked me up, I wrapped my legs around his waist. He reached my bed and laid us on it, “I love you, Janet Aless Rose”, Duff said, looking down at me. Nobody knew my real name besides Axl and Izzy, people from home. I stared at him, “Where did you find out my real name from?”, I asked softly. “You left your wallet at my house, after our drunken sexapedes. I looked into whose it was. And you’re not 5’6”, missy”, Duff said. “I stood on my toes, smart ass. What’s your government name?”I asked, brushing my finger over his nose. “Micheal Andrew”, He grinned. “Sounds like a news reporter. Thank you, Micheal Andrew for the traffic report”, I giggled. Duff tickled my sides, “At least, I don’t have a song from Rocky Horror picture show for my name” “Hey, that’s a good movie. I love Tim Curry in that”, I pushed him away. 

“Here's a ring to prove that I'm no joker

There's three ways that love can grow

That's good, bad or mediocre

Oh J-A-N-E-T I love you so”, Duff sang and crawled back over me.

“I love you too, Duffy”, I kissed his nose. I rubbed his nose, “Is there something on my nose, babe?”, Duff asked. I shook my head, “Then what?”He asked. “It’s cute, you got a little button nose. So boopable”, I booped his nose. 

Next morning, Duff and I drove to a diner for breakfast. He wanted to talk before we went to his apartment. He had been looking for houses for him and Mandy to move into. “Who says we can’t move in together?”, Duff casually asked, while taking a swig  from his drink. “Duff, we’ve not had our first date yet. Hold your horses, bub”, I gulped. “Right, uh wanna go out Saturday? You know before we head out for tour?”, He asked, holding my hand across the table. “Sure, I’d like that”, I smiled, as our waitress dropped off our check. “How much is my half, D?”I asked, looking for my purse. “Doesn’t matter, my treat”, Duff pulled some cash out. “I can at least do the tip?”, I sighed. “No”, Duff grinned. “I can pay for my own stuff, you know?”, I said, rolling my eyes. “I know you can, Janie. Just let me pay for breakfast”, Duff gave me a toothy grin. “Fine. I’m paying for dinner Saturday”, I crossed my arms over my chest. “Who says we’re going to dinner?”, Duff asked, while grabbing my hand. “Then what are we doing, McKagan?”, I stood up with him. “You’ll see, baby Rose”, Duff winked. I hate when people call me that and anything that shows I’m related to Axl. He’s my brother and I love him, yes. But I’m my own person and don’t need Axl’s clout or connections to  make it in the world. We pulled up to Duff’s apartment complex. They were a couple cop cars, we thought nothing of it.

 “Oh yeah, you’ve not heard it yet. You will on the tour, the first night”, Duff grinned, grabbing my hips. “Can’t wait”, I grinned back at him. “Mr. McKagan?”, a tall cop asked. “Yeah, that’s me. What’s going on?”, Duff stood in front of me. “You two follow me, please?”, the cop turned around. Duff grabbed my hand and pulled me with him. We reached Duff’s apartment, the cop had walked in. “Duff”, I said with bewilderment. His apartment was trashed, almost like he had got robbed. He said he had an Axl moment and threw things, but this was like he got raided. Suddenly, his landlord approached us, “I’m kicking you, McKagan. This place is trashed and I’m tired of the noise complaints from girls and parties” The landlord had two cops behind him. “Okay, I’ll start packing, Frank. Why did you call the cops? I’m not gonna lose my mind and hurt you”, Duff said amazed. “After seeing what you did to this place, I didn’t know what you did when I told you to get out.”, Frank gulped, staring at Duff. 

“I’ve been looking at houses, Frank. I’ll just stay at my girlfriend’s place for now. Here’s the key”, Duff said. Frank and the cops left, we had until 10pm to clean the place and have Duff out. “Duff, who are gonna stay with?”, I asked, throwing a baggie with leftover white powder. “Like I told Frank, my girlfriend’s place”, Duff shook his head. “I heard, but I’m your girlfriend, who you haven’t asked if you could crash”, I said. “I freaked and you were behind me so it made sense. I’ll call Slash and ask him, no problem”, Duff walked to his room. “Hey, I didn’t say you couldn’t stay with me”, I yelled. It was 8:30, when everything was packed in his car and mine. “Alright, Mr. McKagan, leave”, Cop said standing outside his patrol car. 

I decided to let Duff stay until we left for tour, but he decided he would stay at Slash’s house instead. “Can you please come stay with me again?”, I pouted. “Baby”, Duff groaned. “Please Duffy, I’ll be lonely”, I whined, crawling into his lap. “Alright, you broke me God!”, Duff threw his head back. “Yay!”, I kissed his cheek. We got back to my place, Axl was sitting outside my door half asleep. “Ax?”, I looked at him. He jumped, but stood up when he recognized us, “Hey, you two made up!”  “Yeah, we did. Little too early to tell you this, but better than you hearing on the tour bus.”, I smiled. “Oh, you two are together now. Nice. Come here Duff.”, Axl pulled me aside. Duff stood in front of him, “If you ever break her heart like you did with your engagement to Mandy, I’ll kill you and have you replaced before sunrise. Understood?”, Axl had pulled Duff down by his leather jacket laplets. “Understood”, Duff said. “Alright, Ponch he gets the point”, I rolled my eyes. I opened the door and the men followed suit behind me. “I’m here to tell Janie something”, Axl said. “Tell me what, Ax?”, I walked into the kitchen. Duff was leaning on the counter with a beer in hand, Axl had a look on his face. It was the kind when our step dad yelled at him, told him he would never be nothing, but a criminal. “Are you okay, Ax?”, I walked over to him and grabbed his hand. “Yeah, I am. Uh, shit how do I tell you this?”, Axl sighed. “Axl?”, I asked, getting worried. “Just tell her, she looks scared”, Duff said. “Erin’s pregnant”, He whispered- yelled. I was gonna be an aunt, “Oh my god. That’s amazing, Axl. Congrats”, I pulled him into a bear hug. “Janie, can’t breathe”, Axl squeaked out. “Sorry”, I let go of him. “How long is she?”, I grinned. “12 weeks”, Axl smiled. “Thought it would be Izzy who would be a parent first”, I giggled. “Izzy almost had a stroke when I told him. He knocked me to the floor from excitement”, Axl laughed. 

Sunday morning came quicker than expected, I was packing my last bag when a knock was heard. “Coming”, I skipped to the door. “Oh hey Kells, what are you doing here?”, I asked. “Forgot a pair of jeans, I know you’re leaving for the tour today”, Kelly smiled. “They’re on the dryer, I thought they were Axl’s”, I followed him to the kitchen. “Thanks, kid. Aw you washed them too”, Kelly grinned. “Yeah”, I breathed out. “Heard you’re Duff’s girl and an auntie”, Kelly said. “I am”, I grinned. “Uh listen, Kelly. I wanna say thank you for letting me cry over Duff. I’m sorry those two times I slept with you”, I said, Kelly furrowed his eyebrows. “I feel like I used you, Kelly. You’re a really nice dude, I feel like shit about it, getting you wrapped up in the drama that was between Duff and I.”, I said. “It’s cool, I was a distraction. No hard feelings, you got him so we had a good plan if you ask me.”, Kelly grinned. I met the guys in the terminal. Erin spotted me and ran to me. “Hey take it easy”, I grinned. “Did he tell you?”, She grinned. “He did, congrats. I’m happy for you”, I pulled her into a hug. “Janie be careful!”, Axl yelled. “He begged management to let me come”, Erin said. “Tour isn’t a place for an expecting mother. Days are too close together, you need to stay for doctor visits. Please update us. I love my niece so much already”, I smiled at her stomach. “I think it’s a boy, but we’ll let Auntie Jane think that you’re a princess”, Erin giggled while rubbing her stomach. “It’s a girl”, I stubbed up. “Here”, Erin grabbed my hand, pulling it closer to her stomach. “Erin, no. I don’t wanna hurt you”, I squealed, making the guys whipped their heads over to us. “You’re not, I promise. Feel”, Erin whispered. “You’re too early to be having them kick”, I said. “Just wait”, Erin grinned. I felt them kick my hand, “Holy shit! Hi Precious, I’m your Auntie Jane. I’ll take Janie too”, I started to cry, I felt a hand on my back. It was Axl, “She active any?”

“Little bit, maybe that’s Erin breathing”, I wiped a tear. “It’s a boy you saps”, Erin rolled her eyes. “No it’s a tiny remake of me”, I sassed. “Alright come here”, I held my arms out and Axl entered them. “Not you, I’ll see you everyday”, I shoved him away. Axl looked offended. “Now tell me everything that happens at appointments, how big they’ve grown, how many times they kick you. And be careful for godsakes. I love you”, I pulled her into a hug. “You’re worse than  Ax”, She giggled. I walked over to Duff, whose back was turned to me. “Hi”, I sighed. “Hi to you too, you okay?”, Duff turned around. “Yeah just so excited that I felt my niece kick. Do you think she heard me?”, I looked at him. “Probably not this early but she sensed someone new. Doesn't it feel weird them kicking back?”, Duff asked. “Yeah, but a good weird. How do you know?”, I asked. “I’m uncle”, Duff grinned. “An Uncle Duff huh?”, I grinned, wrapping my arms around his waist. “You’re an aunt now”, He kissed my forehead.

 We finally boarded the plane, I had to sit with Izzy. “Axl said you knocked him over when he told you about the baby. Did you really?”, I asked. “No, but I hugged for the first time in years”, Izzy sighed. “Figured it was fable in his mind. How does Auntie Janie sound?”, I asked. “They’ll probably butcher it, but it’s a cute one”, Izzy patted my thigh. “Hey Auntie?”, I heard Slash say from the sit in front of us. I kicked his chair, but a yelp appeared in the air. “Oww”, It was Steven. “Oh I’m sorry, Stevie”, I raised up and patted his head.