#tired of being a doormat | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

talesoftheesun · 3 months ago

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I refuse to acknowledge anything that happened in this volume. none of this happened. must've just been a heat induced fever dream. nope. no way.

#THE FACT WE DON'T EVEN GET TO BE UPSET #STOP WRITING SUCH SPINELESS MC'S I'M SICK AND TIRED OF BEING FORCED TO BE TIMID AND A DOORMAT #AND YOU GOTTA PAY 17 GEMS TO REMIND HIM OF HOW COMPATIBLE WE ARE???#I don't even want any of these li's anymore bro #it's all same dialogue different name so there's no defending ANYONE #I didn't even get to say goodbye to chen but then if you stick with chen he's gonna do that weird thing with uma #and in the dressing room??? not matter what you say your li says you don't know him as well as yall thought #damned if you do damned if you don't #I HATE IT HERE #LET MY MC JUST FUCKING WALK PLS I'M DONE #insert quen blackwell screaming crying gif #litg #litg s9 #love island the game #sun.txt

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foreverxdaydreaming · 1 month ago

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#just needed to vent for a sec but oh god am i tired of people #'friends' both irl and online got me fucked up lately #mental healths been in the shitter almost nonstop this year #familys always got me up the wall #i just feel like I'm constantly treading water and i am *tired*. like so fucking TIRED #it's never enough; it's too much; no not like that; but not that either; it's all wrong wRoNg WrOnG #ik im sleep deprived and possibly pms-y and that is most certainly not helping things rn but...#gods i see less and less of a reason to get out of bed and bother with anything ever again #wtf is the purpose #i can't keep friends to save my life bc im apparently a fuckin doormat and interesting as unflavored rice or smth #how hard is it to feel like you maybe sorta kinda matter and aren't an unlovable worthless piece of shit #years of therapy; trying meds; everything under the sun.... and nothing. lows and highs and dips of every kind and yet ..nothing #and maybe im just very much in my feelings rn and just yelling into the void.. but it hurts and im tired of pretending it doesn't.#i hate how hard it is to make friends as an adult especially irl. and how gossipy and cliquey and gross and mean ppl can be #of getting called childish and naive and boring for wanting to be a decent person and having interests outside of partying #(not attacking those traits but tired of getting attacked for *not* being 'fun' enough or 'social' enuf or 'sensitive' for having feelings)#enough*#i just want to go eat drywall and stand in the rain and let it help me pretend im not crying blood rn.#like every cell in my body isn't trying to spontaneously combust.#'it gets better' ..yeah? when. when i was 14? when i was 23? when im 37? when im 55? 82? WHEN.. bc im so sick and tired #and no this isn't me writing a final note or whatever it sounds like; i just wanted to word vomit bc ive never been good w sadness #and ive got such an overwhelming amount of it rn i can't even turn it into anger & spite & use that for productivity... i just want to rot #to lie down and be covered by plants as i sleep and just slowly fade into a cloud or smth like it's a ghibli movie or wtv.#im like shaking from how stupidly emotional i feel rn. the lack of empathy these days is fuckin astounding #common sense & empathy are lacking in absolutely droves these days. some days i hate the internet & tech for its irreparable damages sm #but here we are and here it shall remain. long after us; and *long* after us ..... *sigh*#anyway ima go try to take a nap or smth. I'll see ya when i see ya. take care my lovelies #if u read all this i prob owe you a cookie lol

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orcelito · 1 year ago

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I think smth that gets me about the way a lot of the fandom woobifies Vash is that like... so many of them erase his anger? They make him a soft and sweet doormat who never gets angry Ever, and that's just objectively not true, EVEN IF we're just talking about tristamp Vash. He's definitely softer spoken in tristamp than the other versions, but we still see him get angry!! We see him Yell!!! And these people ignore that!

Then when you consider 98 Vash and ESPECIALLY trimax Vash. Bro is genuinely furious like Any time he is dealing with #Situations. He gets angry. He yells. And he's genuinely tempted to kill people in anger (as we see with Monev).

It's just plain mischaracterization when people make him so soft and sweet and Never Angry. And we all know exactly why people characterize him like this.

#speculation nation #it's bc so many ppl r just not normal about trans people lol #like man i love the widespread trans vash headcanons but Man the weird characterizations it often brings...#it is. vexing. my perpetual curse. i will always be annoyed by it.#sometimes i think about when i started writing 3gun fic w stampede vash and i had him Angry in even the first chapter #and i was so anxious about it being mischaracterization bc so many people write him so soft #then i looked back at canon and i was like. '.... no this IS in character. he WOULD be angry. what are YOU guys doing?'#and now with my manga fic i am just continuously writing him angry bc he IS. he is SO angry.#and so tired and so sad etc etc like theres more to it and all but like #you cant take the anger out of vash. it's an important part of who he is.#that 100% justified anger at his life and circumstances and Everything #he is not a doormat. stop writing him like one. im begging you.

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la0hu · 1 month ago

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masha broke a bowl by accident in the kitchen and when i brought her the broom and dustpan and asked her if she was okay, she looked at me, straight-faced, and said, "no, i'm not okay." and then i realized she meant that she still feels emotionally abused by the house somehow, and i felt a flash of anger because i am so sick of her shit, and i rephrased, "are you physically injured?" and she gave me another look and said "i'm physically okay." and then when connie asked from her room "what's going on?" masha replied "nothing new." like fuck off ohhhhhhhh my god

#p #i'm actually sick of making room for people like this #it's not me being kind or understanding. it's me being a doormat and driving myself crazy for not making everyone happy 24/7 #would masha feel better if i continually approached her and invited her to things and forgave her every time she acted like this?#yeah she would. and i can imagine the emotional place she's in right now is a terrible one and i empathize #which is why i feel guilty for being too tired to do the above. but also? but ALSO???#in her head she will always be the victim. everything we do she will always interpret in bad faith; choose the most unkind interpretation #it's gabe all over again. they live in an alternate reality from me and from the rest of the house and it is impossible to reconcile the tw #and i get this feeling of anger and a part of me thinks of it as me 'letting myself be a bitch' but it's not actually that #it's literally self-respect. it's me being so burnt out that i don't have the energy to pretend this is somehow my problem #the whole meme of 'aren't you tired of being nice. don't you wanna go apeshit' that's about being inauthentic not abt being nice #sure authentic/inauthentic is a loaded therapy term now but it's just accurate. i should be able to NOT do things if i'm not moved to #i don't feel like talking to her. i don't feel like inviting her to things. i don't feel like giving an apology for an imaginary wrong #she can hate me for the rest of time. she can be miserable for the rest of the year while she stays here. i don't fucking care #she is making herself miserable. it is absolutely 100% on her. in any way that matters it is up to her to fix her own shit #i am so sick of this idea that somehow through the healing power of kindness and friendship everyone can be lifted up #because actually some people refuse to be helped. and it is so hard for me to reconcile this with my worldview #but it's been proven to me over and over again that this is the truth.#i guess it doesn't necessarily apply to material realities but i think it does for emotional ones #but even that division between the material and the social/emotional feels false to me. they're always related #maybe the actual lesson is that you as an individual and sometimes even as a community #have limited resources. and while the world's ills could theoretically be solved with infinite generosity and kindness #you cannot singlehandedly make that happen.#and also if the other party isn't receptive there's only so much you can do.#god i've written like a fucking essay trying to justify to myself why i'm angry at masha bc i want to be validated for it #even though i know by now that i actually don't need to explain myself to anyone -- even to myself

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peppermint-candy · 1 year ago

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Growing up as the “good kid” was the worst thing I ever did.

#it gave me the worst reputation #im tired of not being treated my age and like some sort of doormat #people apologize for swearing around me or talking about something dirty even if it’s just a joke #its so annoying I’m so tired of it #I’m never taken seriously #i hate the way I’m spoken to

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piplupod · 4 months ago

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wasn't even trying to tell my brother anything huge or complicated tonight, it was literally just "oh yeah conspiracy theories can definitely be harmful" (because he was saying that) "another reason is bc they can quickly get into anti-semitic territory" AND THATS LIKE. A WELL KNOWN FACT ???? and he immediately started getting super defensive and saying that no they dont, it depends on the person's viewpoint blah blah blah, I WAS JUST AGREEING WITH HIM AND ADDING SMTH TRUE AND WELL KNOWN TO THE CONVO 😭😭😭

i hate this family so much lol the only good thing abt that is that only my mum was around for that part and she was busy and distracted and I quickly realized my brother was getting extremely defensive and aggressive abt it so i backed down as soon as i realized and moved on to just showing him stupid memes i had in my camera roll bc jfc that was WILD. i rly cannot talk abt anything even remotely to do with societal issues huh 💀💀

#and earlier in the night he said he doesn't like to know about politics BROOOO #IM KILLING HIM WITH MY MIND #i will admit i got rly pissed at that and said ''well i kind of like to have a say in my rights as a human hahaha''#i need to go blow up in a deep pit im so fucking angry and freaked tf out #he rly doesnt give a shit about other people 😀😀😀#he actually said ''idk how anyone is able to like care abt other ppl and look at other ppls things''#''im too busy focusing on myself and my own enjoyment of life blah blah blah''#KILLING HIM BLOWING HIM UP GO TO THE GOO LAGOON IM SICK AND TIRED OF THE APATHY FOR OTHERSSSS #he's talking abt wanting to be released from his ego and im just... brother in ur endeavour u have been caught up in ego in a different way #i hate this family so much #i cannot deal w these ppl jfc #there were other absolutely awful things ppl said too and im just rrrggrgrgh #cannot deal w these self absorbed bigoted shitheads anymore i stg #im going to go back to disengaging from convos entirely and just being a bobblehead again #doormat dolly mode. no opinions no self respect. only mindless agreement so i dont fuck myself over anymore #pippen needs 2nd breakfast

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girlscarpia · 6 months ago

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I'm sick of people ignoring me til the moment they need something from me sickkkkkkkkk

#everyone keeps doing this and i'm tired!#and it's also my fault because i'm a fucking doormat since i spent years being treated as a favours-machine #as the only positive interaction i could get from people #and now i can't break free from that mindset!!

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letbuckfuck · 6 months ago

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#alright these tags are super embarrassing but i needed to rant publicly so uh. you can read this but please don't perceive me too much #it is so fucking exhausting having nobody to share my life with #i have literally zero friends at this point bc ever since my grandpa died i've pretty much stopped trying to keep in touch with my hometown #friends and i cut off my 'friend' group that were racist assholes who treated me like a doormat back in october and haven't really made any #close friends at college since. and i just fucking hate that this is the same way i've felt for so many fucking years like you'd think it #would be bearable at this point and i'd be used to being alone and for a while i honestly was but it just hit me tonight how fucking lonely #i am and how tomorrow i have to keep on just doing the shit i have to do in life without anyone to talk to and share it with #other than my mom who's been pissing me off lately so i've been pushing her away too!#it's so tiring to have to go out and do things and have responsibilities everyday and not being able to share that with anyone idk it makes #it feel almost like i'm carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders which is SO dramatic i know #like today i wanted to talk about the stupid false alarm gas leak thing with my sort of friends in this club i'm in but i didn't get to talk #to anyone at the meeting bc everyone was just talking amongst themselves in their little groups of best friends and it just reminded me that #i don't have that and i've never fucking had that i've only ever pretended i had that #it's like all these years i've been pretending to be a person that has friends and knows how to live life normally but i never have #more than anything i just miss my friends from home bc they're the closest i've ever felt to having friends that are like family but. i #don't know how to talk to them anymore. i didn't tell any of them when my grandpa died and i think they just assumed that i've moved on so #they've probably moved on and i already know that they have their own lives and friends at their schools that are a lot more full than mine #wanna know the worst part about all of this? i just had therapy and basically told her everything's fine #and i won't meet with her again until 3 weeks from now so literally the only person i can talk to about this right now is my mom #which i am absolutely not gonna do bc she's gonna get so scared and worried for me and i can't have that rn #anyways yeah. this isn't even that big of a deal like i haven't had friends for at least the past 6 months it's not like anything's changed #i just feel extra sad about it right now. i need a distraction stat gonna go watch watch some tv goodnight #shut up hanna

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scattered-winter · 1 year ago

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horrifying self recognition through the other aside this has been an actually not terrible start to The Family Gathering tbh

#my cousin who i havent really seen in a while came up to me and asked abt my pronouns because i came out to the fam a while ago #and he didnt really remember what id said (which. fair. its a big family w lots of things to remember)#and so he asked what my pronouns were and i told him and he promised that if he ever messed up i needed to make him #do like 5 or 10 pushups lmao #and ngl. its the sweetest thing anyone in this family has ever said to me abt that #everyone else has kinda just. moved on. and either forgotten that im not a girl or purposefully ignoring it.#and idk maybe i should stand up for myself a little more but ive been practically a doormat all my life #and idk. its hard using my voice and establishing boundaries when ive let ppl bulldoze over me for almost 20 years.#sigh. anyway.#im gonna be thinking about that all day tbh it was genuinely so sweet #and i am also being consumed by The Loneliness again <3 #just. i want someone to just talk to about all this??? someone who isnt in my family because they all have stakes in it too?????#we're all grieving. i aint special.#i just want to talk to someone about it in person so they can hold my hand while i cry myself to sleep because ngl #thats what it looks like we're doing tonight #im just. tired of feeling alone in this enormous family where it seems like im the only odd man out #and also ykw the Not Having Any Irl Friends loneliness too. thats also pretty significant.#not saying my internet friends arent great i love yall so so so much but it has just been .#a really really long time since ive had a good cry n hug session w someone.#sigh. im tired i need to go to bed #winter speaks #personal

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cheekblush · 2 years ago

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not having any friends is truly heartbreaking

#i have no one to confide in or just simply hang out with #there's this concert i really wanted to attend but i have no one to go with and tickets are already sold out anyways #but the point is not having friends stops me from having fun experiences #sure you could argue that i could have fun experiences by myself but it's still not the same if you can't share it with someone #i went on a solo trip this summer and while it was liberating & enjoyable it was also incredibly lonely #i also went to a festival by myself & unfortunately it was horrible bc i got nauseous & it was scary being all alone #thankfully i got back to my hotel safely in the middle of the night but i definitely would've felt better & safer if i wasn't alone #i feel like i'm missing out on a lot of things bc i don't have friends & it's just so alienating bc i think smth is fundamentally wrong..#.. with me bc i don't have a single genuine friend while others have whole friend groups #this also makes me miss my ex best friend even more & i'm contemplating reaching out to her again...#i feel like a beaten dog that always comes back around no matter how badly i was treated bc i just want some love 😔 💔#like i was the one who ended things with my ex best friend bc i was tired of being treated like a doormat & constantly having my..#.. boundaries disrespected but now i'd rather have that back then have no friends at all which is awful i know 😭#my ex best friend also isn't a bad person but she hurt me a lot & at the end when things got really bad i think we were both not good for..#each other.. but now i'm reminiscing about all the wonderful things we experienced together & i miss it so much :(#we had so many things in common we went to so many concerts together & had so much fun & now i'm all by myself all the time 😔#the thing is also she was always a social butterfly & has many friends so i doubt she even misses me #i still didn't delete her from my contacts & i recently saw she finally fulfilled her dream of going to america #i feel like she is living her best life & i'm just here being miserable & lonely nothing has really improved for me #i wouldn't even be surprised if she's going to that concert i wanted to attend bc it's one of her favorite artists as well #i just feel so unlovable and alone in this world... i wish i could restart my whole life or disappear altogether tbh #sorry for the negativity if anyone reads this i'm just really upset..#i should stop making myself even more depressed i'm supposed to be studying anyways..#and tonight i'm attending our company's christmas party i hope i'll at least have a little fun there..#☁️

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anawkwardlady · 2 years ago

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Ugh, when I think I'm soooo much better for being repulsed by people who don't like me and then someone extremely mean, cold and strict is interested in me and gives me validation which basically gets my guard down and turns me into a puppy

#nana is posting #cupbreak #its TIRING. I can't escape being a doormat

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marsixm · 1 year ago

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about 2 enter my villain era fr

#like softness is nice but its not radical when youre a pushover and have been taught to be one ur whole life #im not a servant or a doormat and im tired of acting like one #im not gonna get mean i just need to get less scared of people being offended by my neuroses and bluntness

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scarecade · 1 year ago

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#god i wish i had more of a spine #i wish i wasn’t afraid to tell people no #i wish i wasn’t just a goddamn doormat #and i wish i wasn’t just completely trapped in like every aspect of my life #i wish every path available to me didn’t lead to the same fucked it result #i’m tired of my life being decided for me because i’m just incapable of standing up for myself

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wurm-food · 2 years ago

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today was so dumb and stupid I need to lay dow and scream into a pillow about it

#vent #I hate business people #I hate the place I work #im tired of being treated like shit and disrespected #I can’t wait to quit and throw it all back in their faces #very tempting to just say fuck all when that day comes and not even try to be civil #I am no one’s fucking doormat!!!!

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thecoolestfreakyouknow · 2 years ago

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okay i just need to rant for a moment. WHY would the universe schedule interviews for another team member in my department that I had to come into the office to attend AND my very first introductory PhD Supervision session on the same day. SPECIFICIALLY a whole day event. I need to prepare for my meeting, even though it's remote; I can't just leave the room and roll up!!!!! There is prep and thinking to do!!!!! This will just ruin my whole vibe and concentration and I want to do start off in a good fucking way. I will be tired because of 6am wake up to do a 2 hour train ride to the office and not be in the mood for the thing I signed up for because I love it. I planned it on a Monday just SO I wouldn't have to go in, and be freshly ready and had enough sleep. FUCK my life

#I'm in such a rare pissed off mood today. everyone is getting on my nerves. everything always has to happen on the same fucking day #to be honest I'm also SO tired of being a doormat and letting people convince me into doing things I dont want to do.#I'ts so exhausting to constantly want to do a good job and please people. And those aren't the same things I know.#The issue is in standing up for myself I get really randomly aggressive because it's pent up for so long LMAO so i have to temper it

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boyneptunee · 2 days ago

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being single after a hell of a relationship is weird, but also like, I don't have to keep worrying about the things I do that would 100/10 annoy the other person and it's weirdly freeing

#im tired of being treated like a doormat #can you tell

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