#tired!! tired!!! this week is gonna be sooo long ugh

[vividbeast]

i just made a whole buncha food for my next two days worth of lunches and my paws and the house smells SO GOOD UGH

[int-writersmind]

The Quid Pro Quo

Paring: College! Peter Parker x Reader (reader's an English major)

Summary: On a rainy night, sparks fly when the two of you exchange notes on each others classwork.

Word Count: 2.1k

Genre: Fluff

authors note: hey, I might be a recent college graduate, doesn't mean everything is accurate ok? 🤭

Light rain taps against the window of Empire State University's library windows. You find yourself alone on the second floor at a table, wanting to tear your hair out over your Physics homework.

It was Friday night, the library was practically empty since most students were out partying or at the very least not thinking about their classwork. You, on the other hand, had made a deal with a fellow student to help one another on each’s work, a classic quid pro quo. You, an English major, were gonna exchange helpful notes on your classmate's Frankenstein paper that was due Monday, and he, in return, would help you prepare for your Physics test the following Tuesday. It was a great idea, brilliant even, if only Peter Parker weren’t running late. 

You check your phone one more time before standing up and stretching your legs. You walk over to the big gothic looking window your table was next to, glancing at the rain smacking into the glass.

God, there were so many things you could have been doing right now instead of standing here like a young wife waiting for her husband to return from the sea. Like curling up with a nice book, with a hot cup of your favorite beverage, getting lost in whatever world and-

“Sorry I’m late!” came a familiar voice.

You turn and see that Peter Parker had decided to finally make an appearance after all. With your arms crossed, you watch as he quickly runs up the steps, tripping and almost falling while doing so. “I was starting to think you died or something.” You say quite sarcastically.

“Oh much worse,” Peter says, “Subway delays.” As you return to your seat, Peter sits on the other side, quickly taking out his own laptop and notebook. “What should we start on?”

“I don’t know if I can stand anymore Physics right now,” You glance at your phone,  A Daily Bugle notification on top: Spider-Man v Lizard! Havoc on the A-Line!. You swipe it away, maybe it was better to go straight to the dorms after this. “Let’s just start on this Frankenstein paper since it’s much more open-ended.”

“Boo, I hate open ended,” Peter turns on his laptop, “At least with science everything can be quantified.”

“What about theories huh?”

“Theories can be backed up or disproven! English, it’s-it’s sooo subjective.” Peter sighs, “What do you mean the blue curtains represent depression! I have blue curtains, but not because I’m depressed but because they were on sale!”

“Ha-ha, like I haven’t heard that before” You shake your head and roll your eyes, “So, let’s see what you have. Wait, maybe it’s better if I-” You get up from your seat and walk over to sit on the chair next to Peter. “That’s better, now we can look at the screen together.”

Peter places one arm on the back of your chair, no thought really behind it. You pause for a moment before fake coughing, re-focusing on the screen in front of you.

 Peter was one year older and the two of you met at an English course, Literature by Women, a gen-ed for him but a required class for you. You got to know each other the first week of the semester when your Professor assigned partner work to go through a set of poems. Ever since then the two of you would occasionally text each other with simple questions about class. That’s when you found out Peter was in a higher track for Physics and became an absolute annoyance when it came to questions. But Peter always lent a hand and never with any bitterness. 

“You ok?” Peter asks.

You look at Peter whose face reads concern, “Yeah, just a little tired that’s all. Long day.” You turn back to the screen glancing at the title and opening lines of Peter’s paper.

“Ugh same,” groans Peter, “I got so caught up with something, I forgot to eat lunch”

“Oh, I think I have something.” You stop a few lines into the first paragraph, reaching over the table to grab your bag on top, you dig inside until you find half of a sandwich that you bought earlier. “Here, I didn’t know this sandwich had tomatoes and I just find them disgusting.” You make a face of disgust that causes a small laugh to come from Peter.

“You know you can always just take the tomatoes off right?”

“What about the tomato juices?” You say, “The remnant of the tomato never goes away!” You make a huge swapping gesture, “Do you want the damn sandwich or not?”

He puts his hands up in fake surrender, “Ok, ok.”

Peter takes his arm off the back of your chair scooting closer to the table before digging into the sandwich. You settle into reading Peter’s paper about the ethics of Dr. Frankenstein. 

~

“Ok…ok, what you have so far it’s…”

“Horrible..terrible–” Peter sighs.

You turn and gently smack Peter on the arm, “Oh shut up,” You say, “It’s a good foundation, clear thesis, your paragraphs for the most part support it–”

“But…”

“But,” You widen your eyes and make a face. “You focus too much on the actual science of everything going on, focus more on the emotional. Victor uses the Creature for his own selfish desire not only for scientific exploration.”

“You got all of that from my paper?”

“More or less,” You turn your attention back to the computer screen, scrolling over the paper again. “See, anyone can write a thorough paper if they put their mind to it.”

“And…anyone can pass Physics if they put their mind to it as well. Let’s switch topics.”

“Oh, god no,” You say. “The greatest weakness of English majors…Science!”

You lean back as if you were fake fainting, a little too far back as you almost tip over in your seat, but Peter catches your arm just in time. “Woah there Faint-y, can lose you yet.”

“Thanks.”

“No problem,” Peter closes his laptop, and grabs his notebook, you hand him your Professor given study guide. Peter glances at the document, nodding and shaking his head at certain terms. “Ok little English major, time to blow your mind with some science!”

“Certainly, but not in the way you're imagining.”

Peter just rolls his eyes and points to one of the first lines in the study guide that you're underlining and adding several question marks to. “Let’s start here.”

Your little tipping incident sent your chair slightly further away from Peter’s than earlier. With the underside of his hand, he pulls your chair, and you, closer to him. This causes you to hitch your breath. “Pete you gotta stop doing that.” You joke.

Peter doesn’t look up from the paper. “Stop doing what?”

You huff and glance away before looking back at him. “God are you purposely annoying or just clueless?”

Peter finally looks at you, a slight smile on his face, “I just need you close to me…to-to, uh, to explain this concept. Obviously.”

“Yeah,” You blow a raspberry. “Obviously.”

~

You groan, letting your head fall into your hands on top of the table, “I’m resigned to the fact that I might have to drop out of Physics.”

“No, don't! Physics is super fun!” Peter says with a little bit too much enthusiasm.

You peek one eye through your fingers, “Pete, I don’t think we’re working on the same frequency.” 

“Ok, well I have a totally funny Physics joke for you,” Peter readies himself, “What did the male magnet say to the female magnet? Seeing you from the back, I thought you were repulsive. But seeing you from the front, I find you rather attractive.”

You pick your head up and lightly punch Peter in the arm, “You’re lucky you’re cute, because I’m already–Ah, spider!”

A modest size brown spider crawls out of reach from your hand on the table. You reflexively go to swat at it but Peter catches your hand before you could do so. You glance at Peter’s hand on yours rather than at him. He quickly lets go of your hand before he goes and picks up the spider ever so gently.

You follow him as he walks over to the window, the rain slowing down. He cracks open the window, urging the bug outside. You lean against the other side of the window, arms crossed over your chest, you can’t help it when a dry laugh escapes your mouth, “Sorry, but are you secretly some kind of spider-whisper.”

“Hmm,” Peter closes the window, “Maybe. Just looking out for the little guy I suppose.”

You can’t help but smile, truly genuine this time. You reach out and take one of Peter’s hands. “Come on, I think we’ve earned a break.”

You pull Peter by the hand, taking a second to close his laptop, and throwing your jacket over everything on the table. You turn around, switching what hand is holding on to Peter’s. You continue down one path weaving up and down other bookshelves, passing empty tables, you make a sudden turn down an aisle letting go of Peter’s hand. You trail your fingers over the spines of the books, as Peter follows behind you, hands in his pocket. When you make it to the end of the aisle, you stand in front of a window, the rainstorm continuing on. “I actually find rainstorms to be rather romantic.” You say.

“The Shelly kind or the Valentine kind?” Peter says, leaning against the bookshelf.

“Both.” You peek back, a smirk playing on your lips. You walk over to Peter, standing with just enough space for someone to squeeze through.

“Not so romantic when you’re caught up in it.” Peter glances at the window, then at you. “I’ve been caught…too many times.”

“So have I,” You step a little closer, testing the waters, Peter doesn’t react. “But you have to admit there’s something, I don’t know, intimate, about being sheltered in place, with just one other person. Like under an umbrella, or the awning of some corner store bodega–”

“Or in-between bookshelves at your college’s library?” Peter’s hand comes up to gently grasp your hand, your fingers slowly interlocking with one another. He pulls you in close, in between his legs. You place your other hand on his chest to prevent yourself from falling. “I might not be an English major but I think I can read between the lines.”

“And if I wasn’t so tired, I would totally come up with a Physics joke.” You response, your face flush red. 

He brings his other hand to your face, his palm resting on your cheek, his fingers slowly disappearing into the nape of your hair. “Can I kiss you now?”

“Hmm, maybe…let me ask you one question?” You say.

“Shoot.”

“Can I kiss you first?”

Peter smiles, then nods. You bring the hand that was on his chest upwards, sliding up his neck, until your own hand is entangled in his hair. You close your eyes and lean forward, pressing your lips ever so gently to his. He pauses for a moment before kissing you back, slowly, taking his time. His lips felt soft against your own, warm and comforting, even if you could still taste the tomatoes from earlier. You can’t help but giggle at the thought.

“What is it?” Peter says between kisses.

You move away just a little, you quickly peck him on the lips, once, twice–”It doesn’t really matter.”

Peter deepens the kiss, bringing both hands to hold your face, his thumbs gently caressing the skin beneath them. You loop both your arms around his neck, letting your body fall into his, your chest pressing against his. His tongue enters your mouth and it falls in rhythm with yours, dancing an unseen dance. 

The two of you stop for a moment, foreheads resting on one another. “You know I’m still dropping Physics right?” You say through closed eyes and heavy breathing.

“Then I’ll keep kissing you until you change your mind.” Peter answers.

He holds you in his arms as he stands up fully, keeping his grip on you tight as he kisses you again. One of his hands drifts to your bottom, an open hand just resting on top of your clothing.

“Oh Parker,” You whisper. “Not as innocent as you look.”

“You have no idea…” 

He buries his head into your neck, placing kisses up and down that make your eyes roll back. “We should…we should definitely continue this study session back at my dorm…since you know… the library closes soon.”

“Yeah, yeah of course.” Peter says as he now moves on to your ear, nibbling at your earlobe. 

You break away from him, pushing him back ever so lightly, taking his hand in yours. You lead him down the aisle, half-walking, half running. 

“Come on, I still have a Physics test to pass”

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Hey there, thanks for reading! Hope you liked it. If you like this consider checking out my other fluff-y story Potential Customer . Goodbye Void!

masterlist

[d3ardum8di4ry]

December 16th 2024 2:59am

WAKE UP ITS FINE SHYT LOREEEE ‼️

ermmm so about like a week ago i met this guy on a dating app and he was so hot i thought he was a catfish. BUT HE WAS REAL WTFF. i didn’t find his face card super attractive at first tbh.. but as we started snapping why was he so perfect?? like i was my full self cuz im tired of lying but he loved it lowk?? HE WAS EVEN ASKING TO FT LIKE HE WAS ASKING NOT ME!! so when he asked to hangout i knew i couldn’t sell. i was so stressed and really wanted to cancel but i didn’tttt. i def could’ve gotten kidnapped or killed but yk it is what it is. see that was not my only questionable decision tho… but we’ll get there! but basically, he picked me up and said i look even prettier in person BUT HEE was sooo much more attractive than his pictures!? even cuter than i thought after the snaps!! hello!!??!? anyway so i’m not even able to make eye contact and literally go non verbal for the drive bc i am SO nervous. so we went to his house and we talked for like 4-5 hours. we watched movies and literally spilled LOREEE. and eventually later like he kept implying that we should kiss. so i full send and why is he THE BEST KISSER. he smells so good and his jawline is so so defined. ALSO I ACCIDENTALLY GAVE HIM A HICKEY- sorry luvr! anyway so one thing leads to another and his dong is OUT AND I CASUALLY FIND OUT THAT ITS THE THICKNESS OF MY FOREARM, EIGHT INCHES LONG AND FUCKING CURVED LIKE A MF CANDY CANE. that shit has my jaw on the floor 10/10 dong. biggest i’ve EVER seen. i high-five it and blow it a kiss and when i get bored of BLOWING kisses i hopped on it EL OH EL. he kept telling me i didn’t have to if i didn’t want to but girl i NEEDEED. it didn’t not fit i couldn’t get it in it hurt so so bad. but FELT SO FUCKING GOOD HOLY MOOTHER FUCKUNGBSHIT???? oh my god bro. anyway. so then i hope off cuz it’s not fitting and he goes soft.. and im like oh.. ok? and that shit will not come back up. we literally had a keep convo about his performance anxiety dong still out and all. he was so frustrated w himself it actually made me so sad he’s an angel who just didn’t wanna disappoint me. so we put on music and we just keep talking idk i love talking to him mannn. and the we get to kissing again bc yk i can’t keep my actual face off of his.. he’s gorgeous, and sweet and funny and real. anyway so i start kissing his neck and hey! guess who came back to life dongkey kong shlong! we legit looked at eachother and just knew but ofc he still asked. it took some adjustment but there i was… pillow under my ass, massive eggplant ripping my prickly muffin in TWO. RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAWRAWRARARWRWW i let this fucking sexy stranger hit it raw bro!!??? my brain was on zero bad but it was so fucking good bro. so good. he finished in me and it was so hot how he just collapsed on me like yes come here. DIDK STILL IN ME AND ALL. he got up and offered to carry me to the bathroom?? stfu angel angel angel. i’m so in love w him and he doesn’t even know LMAO like he thinks it’s funny i’m so fucking downbad. i got really lucky i literally could’ve died or got clap had i not been right about his intentions. anyway we hung out for like another hour and then we left. he drove me home and we talked the whole entire time. and he even kissed me before i left the car and waited til i got in to leave. HELP?? i’m so irrevocably in love. i wanna be with him so bad. oh but shocker he’s been damaged asf by a girl and doesn’t want anything serious yet! DIE. ugh. anyway. now i feel extreme anxiety and guilt but i just have issues when it comes to sex. i think im just overthinking. idk but i think we’re gonna fall in love in fact i know amen. i love you fine shyt!

[mapachiii]

I'm not saying he's weak or a red flag for the dubcon. I'm talking about all the times afterwards. Don't they keep sleeping together for two weeks after the incident after the party?

Also I'm sick of people using their cowardice to justify acting weirdly when they want security and reassurance from other people? Isn't it true that if you like someone enough to want to date them you will control yourself and not do nonsense for fear of sending the wrong message to the person you want to date?

You also said JM discarded JN? When was that? And yet still he should have acted better than, "oh well, then let me sleep with my ex that dumped me". After doing that he cheapened the special thing that was growing between them to something that was casual.

I mean even shtro says he thought they were dating/exclusive. I can imagine his suprise when the rumour mill started saying that jenrina got back together. My poor tarito. Also the fact that jm was being cute during vacation and then suddenly looks sad and troubled right after you sleep with your ex??? And jn acts dumb?

Ugh I hate genZ dating culture. The fact that jm slept around with everyone until he started sleeping with jn should have been a sign. Also imagine seeing someone for months and then when you guys start growing closer they sleep with someone else cuz you guys haven't called yourself bf/gfs. That's why I say red flag. I mean, realistically we know jn won't cheat or be swayed. But that surely left a bad taste in my mouth.

He could've said, "something weird happened last night and idk why I slept with her when I wanted to be with you". It's not like jm didn't understand the complexities of jenrina. Ugh, I get so mad.

But if you wanna write jenrina you absolutely should because if you stall because you're afraid ppl will be triggered from bqt you're just basically saying that that's how they SHOULD be remembered. The sore spot is that you write nomin. So unless you write them having dated LONG before your nomin ship meets or falls in love then it's still gonna have those bqt vibes

sorry i was so sleepy/tired when i replied first jsjsj had just finished writing the update of rock au.

jenrina hooked up TWICE. The night of the party, and the second time. The first one was the assault + dubcon/manipulation and the second time Jeno was a very weak man, having her beg so upset he gave in, a part of him still loving her. He did have a lil bit of hope left for /them/ even if he didn't want to admit it, especially as hey, he still had some forget-me-nots left.

oh no yeah, jeno was soo wrong for hoping for a reaction of hurt/upset/ANYTHING than indifference or acceptence from Jaemin when he told him he hooked up with 'Rina, and he was aware how selfish and twisted that was as he doesn't want o hurt him but at the same time, a sign of hurt could signal Jaemin did want him as more than fwb. And as he didn't see any, he lost all hope of Jaemin currently harboring any feelings for him.

The discarding part I mean Rina discarded Jeno, and Jeno feared (fears tbh) Jaem doing the same.

Ah, thing is, even when they were soo domestic, fluffy together, neither saw it as more, they still saw it as them being rlly good friends aaand fwb. Jeno never considered Jaemin's clinginess to him as more or different to how clingy he is with others like Hyuck or Yangyang. And Jaem could also see Jeno being soft with Lele and Hyuck so he didn't have much reason to consider himself special. Both dumb and blind to it as others like Lele, Jisung, Hyuck and even Mark could notice the two DID act different with each other than the rest.

I love the 'Taro detail hahahaha I waited sooo long to reveal it. He thought they were dating because his room is beside's Jenos so he heard them hooking up, repeadtly at that, and he didn't hear/see them with anyoneee else so he rolled with it. When 'Rina inserted herself back into the picture he was so confused. Also, while 'Rina did continue to drop by Jeno's room and leaving late at night, it was nights of Jeno trying to get her to TALK and her refusing, trying to convince him to hook up with her instead, until she would leave when Jen didn't give in.

Jen did notice Jaem being upset but he had his own messy plate to deal with, he knew by then that Jaem had some deep self esteem issues but he couldn't consider it was related to Jaem pining for him. Oh and riiight after he slept with his ex, Jaem was /fine/ to Jeno, he noticed jaem being upset later on when he got worse.

Yess it should have been a sign but they both were dumb and in denial. Well, about that, Jaem did hint to hooking up with someone else if Jen didn't that one time early on, heck when their sex-cation started, they both didn't expect the other to not have hooked up with someone else in their time apart, both truly believing the other didn't owe them that.

In Jeno's defense, he DID try to explain himself but Jaem cut him off, very nonchalantly may I add.

You're so right T^T I should follow my heart~ ok but in bqt jen and rina will be friends again in not a far future so there is that :D that will be addressed in future bqt chapters thats why I said it is not over yet we have some things to touch on~

[someonewhogotanaccount]

Procrastinated conversation (literally)

This is gonna be long sooo if you don't like my brain and me, just don't keep reading :).

Brain: Hello. Me: Brain: Hellooo. Me: Brain: DO YOU HEAR BAD?! Me: Ugh, what do you want again? Please make it quick, I'm at an exciting part of the book right now. Brain: That one. That's not a book. Me: Ebook then. Brain: FANFICTION. There's a difference- Me: Get to the point. Brain: I'm supposed to remind you that you still have work to do. Me: No way. I've set myself an alarm clock so I don't forget. Brain: An alarm clock that you've had in snooze mode for two and a half hours. Me: Brain: Me: Brain: Listen, if you're not going to play the piano, clean your room or study for tomorrow's test, at least read Stellarlune. So I can cross at least one thing off the to-do list. Me: But these fanfictions help me recover from Worm. Do you know how long I had to search for a proper fanfic? How many filters I had to use? That was VERY hard work. Cross that off your to-do list. Brain: It's been 42 days and about three hours since you finished Worm. Get over it already. Me: GO TO THE REMAINS OF MY HEART AND COMPLAIN THERE! Brain: Me: Brain: Me: You know what? Just remind me later, okay? Brain: ...All right. But if I hear any complaining- Me: Yeah yeah, sure. Now get out of here.

--- Later that night---

Brain: Hello again. Me: *Snores softly* Brain: HELLO AGAIN! Me: Brain: GET UP YOU'RE FIVE HOURS LATE!!! Me: WHAAAAAaaaaa what the fu- Brain: Ah. Finally. You're awake. Me: HOW CAN YOU BE SO RELAXED, WE'RE FIVE HOURS TOO- wait. Why. Is it still dark outside. Brain: Because it's 11:47 pm. You fell asleep just some minutes ago. Anyway, since you're awake now, remember the to-do list? Me: Me: You're giving me a heart attack. At almost midnight. To talk with me about my fucking to-do list?! Brain: Hey, watch your language or I'll have to censor you! Me: Don't tell me how to live my life, dumba*beep*. Me: Did you just f*beep*ing censor me? Me: *Beep*. Brain: Ahhh, way better. Now, to come back to the topic at hand... Me: I know you're dying to do this now. But could we maybe postpone this conversation until tomorrow? I'm really tired. Brain: See? That's exactly what I'm talking about. Always procrastinating… what's tomorrow going to be? You get ready for school, then you study for the vocabulary test at best twenty minutes before the test, same with the homework you had to do - I'm tired too, you know? I need time to study and I need enough space to memorize important things. You're wasting both time and space. And all that stress with the never-ending to-do list… it's not easy. All I'm saying is that I need help. Some support from you would be very nice and- Brain: Brain: You're asleep again, aren't you? Brain: Well, I guess it's my turn now. Brain: *Beep*.

---Right now---

Brain: …oh wow. It took you two weeks. For this crap. Holy Killercat. Me: Hey, just think of it as an experiment. Now we know I'm even better at procrastination than we already thought! Brain: Brain: Where's the f*beep*ing exit.

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Texts from the Lost Tomb, part 5.4

I swear folks once I get this and the last part up I’m gonna condense it all

But yeah couldn’t resist some <3

Zhang and Wu Chat

Wu Xie: Um. I’m all done with the shower if you want a turn.

Zhang Qiling: I’m alright without one.

Wu Xie: sooo are you pissed at me still?

Zhang Qiling: ? I have not been angry with you since the ladder incident.

Wu Xie: you’ve barely said anything since the necklace thingy

Zhang Qiling: I believe it is a long-running joke amongst my friend group that I do not, in fact, say much.

Wu Xie: okay but there are multiple gouges in the tea house walls that would suggest you had somewhat strong feelings today

and I kinda caused the events that sparked said feelings

so just checking in you know

Zhang Qiling: I was not angry so much as I was afraid. More afraid than I’ve been in a long time.

Wu Xie: ??? But it has worked out fine??? Everyone made it out alive and Uncle Erbai gets to feel morally superior to the Zhang family for a while so today was a win overall

Zhang Qiling: I heard you scream. I didn’t know what had happened. I couldn’t get to you right away. Therefore, I was afraid.

Wu Xie: ohhhhh. oh, Xiao Ge. It’s alright now—hey the necklace was actually helping u look out for me:) It’s not like those ppl were actually trying to hurt me, really. Your family isn’t so bad, at least you don’t have any uncles you know of

today was just some big misunderstandings wrapped in some poor life choices. Tbh my memoir title

I feel kind of stupid for screaming but when a glowing necklace wraps itself around your neck it’s a little uhoh moment lol

I did like the design tho def my aesthetic.

Zhang Qiling: I am pleased that it was able to protect you when I was not.

Wu Xie: Uh no you are not allowed to get all emo abt this it’s only like 3pm

damn time flies when it’s flashing before your eyes lol

Are you on the roof? You’re def on the roof. I thought I heard the tiles moving over my head. Come down or I’m coming up.

Zhang Qiling: I will be down in a moment. Do not come outside, it’s cold and raining.

Wu Xie: you know, Zhang Rishan said he thinks the necklace might be linked to you, somehow

something from long ago, even though you wouldn’t remember it.

It’s lucky that it liked me, huh:)

Zhang Qiling: Yes. Quite lucky.

Babysitters Club Chat

Wang Pangzi: AWW LOOK AT HIM NAPPING ON YOUR SHOULDER SO CUTE. BEBES HAD A BIG DAY. YOU TWO ARE PRECIOUS. BE GOOD AND POSE FOR THE PICTURE NOW.

Zhang Qiling: No. Also, I am considering what steps I should take with Zhang Rishan. Regardless of his concern for the Zhang family line, his actions were unacceptable.

Wang Pangzi: HES DROOLING A LITTLE ON YOU WHICH IS LESS CUTE BUT I CAN CROP THAT PART

LOOK I KNOW YOURE STILL PISSED. IM NOT EXACTLY CALM MYSELF, I JUST HAVE WAYS TO SKIRT AROUND TIANZHENS BULLSHIT FILTER THAT YOU LACK

GET ON MY LEVEL

WU ERBAI WILL HANDLE IT, THINGS HAVE SETTLED I THINK

BUT ABOUT THAT NECKLACE

SO INTERESTING HMMM

Zhang Qiling: I am the patriarch of my family. The necklace behaved as I would, apparently, to protect a vulnerable family member. Wu Xie’s bad cold last week activated it, and it responded to a perceived danger to him today. Simple enough.

Wang Pangzi: UH HUH

A FAMILY MEMBER

THE NECKLACE REALLY SAID LOVE WINS

TOLKIEN COULD NEVER

Zhang Qiling: It protected him on a technicality. But I will not allow him to bear the burdens of my family ever again. It has taken so much from him already.

Wang Pangzi: YEAH SURE BLAH BLAH DESTINY BLAH BLAH ANGST

“A TECHNICALITY” WOW WHO SAID ROMANCE WAS DEAD

ANYHOO IM SCREENSHOTTING THIS FOR UR WEDDING RECEPTION SLIDESHOW

YA KNOW DURING MY SPEECH

Friends of Wu Xie Support Group Chat

Hei Yangjing: you’re welcome for everything today<3 I accept PayPal, although of course it is always my honor to assist my friends:)

Wang Pangzi: WE ARENT PAYING YOU SHIT

Zhang Qiling: You did absolutely nothing.

Hei Yangjing: whoa whoa maybe I wasn’t threatening family members or busting up load-bearing walls like some undying divas I could name but I totes helped

or at least I was there for moral support maybe?

Zhang Qiling: The only reason I knew you were there at all was that as I lowered my blade from Zhang Rishan’s neck, I heard the camera click and saw you were taking a selfie making a peace sign, angled to have the two of us in the background.

Xie Yuchen: I saw it on social media just now. The caption is “#greatdaycatchingupwiththelads #blessed”

Wang Pangzi: TBH KIND OF JEALOUS I DIDNT THINK TO DO THAT

Hei Hangjing: okay yeah you see Xiao Ge that is a modern kind of help I should’ve known you wouldn’t be aware

It’s called performance, you wouldn’t understand

it’s a ‘Gram thing

Also it means I’m a great person

Bc letting you handle the situation was my gift to you

Zhang Qiling: Wu Xie mentioned there is something called “blocking ppl” that gets them out of my phone.

Hei Yangjing: nah

Can’t trust that Wu Xie, bae can’t tell a coffin from an urn amirite

it’s not a thing, blocking

Xie Yuchen: It is a thing. I’ll show you later, Zhang Qiling.

Wang Pangzi: YOU BOYS GO GET CLEANED UP AND COME BY AROUND 9 I SNAGGED SOME OF ZHANG RISHANS BOOZE ON THE WAY OUT

Bonnie and Clyde Chat

Hei Yangjing: you looked pretty comfortable in those handcuffs earlier ;););)

Xie Yuchen: Go to sleep, idiot.

Hei Yangjing: You’d have to do something to tire me out ;););)

Xie Yuchen: Are you like this around Wu Xie? Not that I care, I’m just asking.

Hei Yangjing: uh that’s a big nope

First off all Idk when I’ll die but Id prefer it to be on my terms and not at the hands of those other two

Secondly there is a part of me that remembers how adorable he was when he was younger and that makes it weird

(No offense but u were not adorable. He was bebe luke skywalker, you were bebe princess leia I am obvs Han Solo 4lyfe)

Also I’m a little scared that if i flirted with him and he flirted back he’d be better at it.

Xie Yuchen: All valid concerns.

Hei Yangjing: as cute as he is I don’t really wanna tap that.

Xie Yuchen: I see.

Hei Yangjing: do you tho

Main Chat

Wu Xie: okay folks who wants cocoa to top the evening off? I picked some up today:D

Wang Pangzi: UH YOU SPENT YOUR DAY BEING KIDNAPPED AND PLACATING A SENTIENT NECKLACE WHEN DID YOU HAVE TIME TO GET GROCERIES

FRANKLY THATS INTIMIDATING

Wu Xie: the tea house gift shop:)

Wang Pangzi: …YOU BOUGHT COCOA FROM YOUR KIDNAPPERS. FROM THEIR GIFT SHOP. DURING YOUR KIDNAPPING.

WU XIE

WU XIE WHY

Wu Xie: I mean we were there the whole day, it felt impolite not to buy anything.

Wang Pangzi: OH RIGHT GREAT POINT ID HATE TO BE RUDE TO THEM AFTER THEY WENT TO THE TROUBLE OF ABDUCTING US

LISTEN WHEN PPL STEAL YOU IT BECOMES FREE REIGN ON THEIR SHIT

UGH YOU PROBABLY GOT A RECEIPT AND EVERYTHING

WAS UR LITTLE SHOPPING TRIP BEFORE OR AFTER THEY STUCK U IN A DUNGEON TO EXPERIMENT ON YOU

WAIT NVM I DONT WANT TO KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT

Wu Xie: look, let’s focus on the positives/ we are all okay, and we learned something new, that necklace is still active! It’s really quite nice-looking when it isn’t moving of its own volition.

Wang Pangzi: YOU AND YOUR RELENTLESS DUCKING OPTIMISM

ZHANG QILING ARE YOU SEEING THIS

Zhang Qiling: I would love some cocoa. I’ll come to the kitchen.

Wu Xie: I have special marshmallows for you!!

Wang Pangzi: I SEE

WE ARE SUBSCRIBING TO THE PRESTIGIOUS “FUCK IT WHY NOT” SCHOOL OF THOT TONIGHT

LOL SURE LETS GO COCOA IT UP

IVE GOT SOMETHING STRONG TO POP IN IT

Wu Xie: Still thinking about that design… I’d love another chance to examine that necklace under less Zhangy circumstances.

Kinda sad we couldn’t borrow it to use for illnesses and dangerous missions :/

ah well it’s for the best, a family heirloom should be treasured, preserved and protected<3

Zhang Qiling: I put it on your dresser.

Wu Xie: ???????

Wang Pangzi: AND THATS WHY YOU AND I ARE FRIENDS, XIAOGE <3

Wu Xie: I—

Zhang Qiling: Are those bunny-shaped marshmallows for me?

[bitchiha]

Kakashi and/or Yamato NSFW headcannons? I high key love ur blog btw 🥺✨❤

A/N: UHM YES LETS DOOOO THIS I LOVE YOU BTW AND THANK YOU!! <3 Yamato and Kakashi are like.. my favs. So thank you. I wrote for both of them!

Another side note: I decided to post some requests b4 my angsts bc Im almost done them and I can't neglect them anymore. I am the worlds biggest procrastinator, but I am trying my best.

✎ NSFW (Yamato, Kakashi)

Kakashi

I mentioned this before but both him and Yamato are touch starved. The only difference is that Kakashi needs it more. Like Yamato can control himself a little bit at least, but not Kakashi. Like if he’s gone on a mission longer than 3 days Kakashi is losing his mind.

Best horny Kakashi is horny Kakashi after reading his nasty books. Hands down. Man, it just gets him so worked up because he’s not imagining the characters in the books. Noooo. He’s imagining you and him.

Once when he was reading Icha Icha in bed he was reading a particularly nasty chapter I hope you know where this is going... Once the chapter was done he put the book down and looked over at you like all sly and shit. All the sudden he’s like “come sit on my face.” And the way he says it is so like.. idk how to describe it, but it’s like sly and cocky and curious all at once.

First time you ever sat on his face and it was the closest thing that you’ve ever gotten to heaven girl. Like you were seeing stars.

He’s into anything and everything tbh. Wants to try everything he reads in Icha Icha for himself. Which is amazing bc there’s always something new he wants to try. Everytime.

Loves pet names. Definitely calls you a whole dictionary full of them and they vary depending on what you two are doing exactly.

He likes giving oral a lot tbh. Like a lot a lot. It’s probably bc he knows he’s so damn good at it lmfoaoaoao. He’s read this stuff a hundred times over in his books, so he knows how his tongue should be moving and all that good stuff. Wants you to sit on his face all the time bc he likes how good it makes you feel. Also, likes when you are vocal.

Likes lingerie but he will have it off you in 0.5 seconds so he can drill your shit tbh. You’d have to swat his hands away from trying to peel them off, but you can’t keep them away for more than 5 minutes.

Such a tease. He won’t admit it, but he actually likes making you cry when you're getting it on lol. Just a little. It makes him feel like he’s living out a scene in one of his books and it makes him so much hornier. Like he’s probably denied you 10 times now and so you’re just a mess and he gets so carried away. But when he finally gives in it’s the best dick ever. Bye lol.

Will want to do sooo much nasty things in public. He’d actually be good at hiding what the two of you are doing though, for the most part. I don’t think he’d do anything super crazy though. Mostly things that work you up to get prepared for when you two go home.

Has definitely done it with you in a public washroom. Clamped his hand on your mouth so you wouldn’t get caught and girl he rocked your shit good.

Kakashi is both an ass and tits guy, but you know what he likes better? Thighs. Loves having them wrapped around him, straddling him, lol likes his face being between them and anywhere he can grip them tbh. Like even in public he’ll have a hand somehow on your thigh 24/7. Doesn’t matter if their chubby, small, whatever. He. loves. them. Also loves hips.

Doesn’t mind if you ever wanna take the lead. Go down on him after he comes back from a mission. Shower w him, take a bath with him, literally just do it. But take care of him good. He will repay you later.

I don’t think he’s loud. Probably likes giving you validation a lot, but you’ll only get some noises out of him. That doesn’t mean he isn’t enjoying himself bc he is, my goooosh he is.

However, after missions he’s just too tired to stop himself and he will get a lottt more vocal. Plus it’s his tired voice so it’s 10x more attractive. Lots of Groans.

So like I said, he may not be loud but look at his face. You can tell he’s enjoying himself by his facial expression. Like if his eyes are squeezed shut and his mouth is open slightly you are making him see stars. Or if he’s really focused and intent, that’s when he is doing something he just read about in one of his books and boy is he enjoying it. Orrr if hes got a cocky smirk that’s when you know he’s gonna tease the life out of you.

Has dealt with Naruto, Sakura, Sai and Sasukes attitude problems all day. So if you wanna try and give him some at home he will lack the patience. Will be so rough and you’ll like it, but it will hurt to sit down for a few days.

Has 0 self control if you wear skirts or dresses. Like he just wants to put his hands under it. You look so pretty in them too and he can’t stop staring. Has definitely left your skirt / dress on when he’s fucking you at least once.

CEO of making you blush. Gets you flustered all the time. He literally can never get enough of you. Sometimes you’ll just catch him giving you that stare. Or just like checking you out and you’re like: Kakashi we are in the middle of the village control yourself.

You really can’t get him to be jealous. You’ve tried everything and anything but he never gets riled up. He can make you jealous, but he doesn’t do it a lot. I think the only time you can really get him worked up like that is if you unintentionally make him jealous. If he knows you’re trying to, he won’t let it work. But if you don’t know it makes him so flustered. Like if you tell him you’re going on a 4 day mission with Yamato. He’ll be pissed lol. Why the fuck didn’t Lady Tsunade tell you two to go together?? Why you and tree boy?

Then all the sudden he’s making out with you in the middle of your kitchen. Muttering under his breath about how unfair that is. Like this man is gonna have to sit here for 4 days by himself while you’re out on a mission with Yamato?? Frustrated sex lol. Also will definitely leave hickeys. Have fun covering them up on your stupid 4 day mission with yAmATo. <3

Another thing; you’ve done it on every surface possible in your apartment. The kitchen table, the bathroom counter, the shower, every gosh darn wall. Probably even on a chair at your dinner table... What can I say. HES WHORE KNEE

Yamato

You will definitely be eachother’s first times. If you’re with him you’re with him for the long run. He isn’t gonna give himself to anyone like that. Nope, you’ll know you’re stuck with him once he starts to get intimate.

That being said, I don’t know why but I don’t think he’d be very self conscious about himself tbh. Like he’s touch starved as fuck already and so inexperienced so like.. now that he’s experiencing physical contact like he’s never had before my guy is short circuiting. Any touch from you feels wayyy to good for him and he could care a less about anything else when he gets going.

Also, he’s kinda loud - like not the type to scream lol but I mean like .. if you’re making him feel good (literally anything you do makes him feel good tbh), then you will know. Looots of groaning and grunts. Omggg and if he needs to keep really quiet he will probably muffle his moans by burying his face in your neck or tits lol.

I don’t think he’s the type to dirty talk too much or degrade at all. The only time he will really get into dirty talk, being rough and maybe some degrading is if you make him jealous. It only works if you use Kakashi for it and my god you’re asking for trouble if you do

Say something like “wow Kakashi you’re really strong,” or laugh at all his jokes and Yamato will seethe quietly. You’ve got to keep that up for a while to get him super worked up and when you do.. HE WILL DEFINITELY GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT.

When you get home he drilllls your ass girl. Like you’re all teary eyed because he’s been denying your orgasms and now he’s drilling you into the mattress oml. You’re like begging him and sobbing and he’s so fucking mad lol like he doesn’t care

“Stop crying. You thought everything Kakashi said was just so funny tonight, so go ahead and laugh, laugh like how you were laughing with him. Not so funny now is it?” “Think he can make you feel like this? Didn’t think so.”

Will feel so bad in the morning. Like he’ll actually feel so bad. Will make up for it in any way you ask him too. You liked it though and you riled him up on purpose, you won’t tell him though. You 1000/10 do it again. Kisses you all over to make up for it.

Everytime you do, you can’t look Kakashi in the eye for a good week bc you’ll only think of Yamato drilling your ass.

Praise kink 10/10. He will probably be so depressed and will lowkey cry if you degrade him. What he likes is praise. Fucking fuel that mans ego and be a vocal for him too ;) he likes knowing that he’s rocking your shit good.

CALL HIM CAPTAIN like he’s not really into being called sir or daddy or anything like that but my lord.. if you call him Captain.. ugh. It gets him everytime. Also darling too.

Uhm he realllyyy likes when you take care of him after missions. Especially if it’s a long mission or one with Team 7 because that shit stresses him the fuck out. He’ll have so much frustration he’ll need to get out by the time he comes home.

Perch your ass on the couch and wait for him. Bonus if you cooked him food first. Or if you wanna run a shower for him while he eats. He will insist you join him.

Also... He’s not slick at all when he introduces ideas like that, he probably says it bluntly like.. “y/n.. I really want to take a shower with you right now.” and his face would get all red too lol

But after some missions he’s just way too tired to fuck your ass up. This is usually like after most of his missions with Team 7. He will still somehow manage to be horny tho. Like he’s been gone for days and had to deal with moody teenagers the whole time and he would really love if you just sucked his dick rn. That always reallyyy gets him going. Probably will cum fast bc of how good it feels to him tho, but there’s a lot of it y’know. He’d also be loud too. Like too lazy to try and keep it down loud. Lots of groaning.

Like I said, he’s horny as fuck. Literally being around you just turns him on sometimes. Even at home. Like If you wear a tank top with no bra when you’re lounging around, he’s already horny. Short shorts? Hor-fucking-ny!! Sometimes he’ll get embarrassed and hide it from you, but let’s be real you feel the same way about him so it’s fine

Titty guy 100%. I’m sorry but like if you have big tits don’t expect him not to bury his face in them. Always gives them extra attention. Likes when your riding him and their bouncing. Wear Lacey bras, he loves them so much and he will keep them on the whole time so he can just admire it on you.

He doesn’t like the idea of doing anything in sexual in public. He has a reputation to uphold and he is not about to throw it out the window like that no matter how much he wants too. Its frustrating sometimes bc like you could be walking around the village together and he gets a good glimpse of your ass and now he’s thinking some nasty things. Then he’s got a really uncomfortable hard on to hide till you get home.

He gives you splinters by accident sometimes. Like idk how. Especially if youre sucking him off. His hands are gripping your shoulders and you feel a prick on your collarbone and you yelp. He’ll apologize profusely, but he can’t control it when he feels like this so it happens sometimes. You get used to it though. Won’t admit it but he doesnt even try to control it if his dicks down your throat bc.. when you yelp it feels reallyyy good.

I’ve always had a thing for Yamato.. so I kinda went off on this LOOL <3

[worldsover]

Dal Segno ft. Chuu

length ✦ 3570

genres ✧ music making; oral fixation; facefuck; subby!Chuu

✦✧✦✧✦✧

Composition is only fifty percent of the process, you've heard, but it's closer to ten for you. For the importance of a solid melody and chord progression with the right instruments and singer, a song becomes less than the sum of its parts with bad mixing because all that effort goes to waste when you can’t hear something, or when something is too loud, or when a certain je ne sais quoi is wrong. But you do know. You don't have to be a chef to be a food critic but it certainly helps. Avoid muddling the lows as it waters down the soup. Carve space in the highs to prevent too much salt from killing the taste buds. Have at most five sounds at a time or else the flavors clash. Focus on these basic techniques to guide you as repetition wears down your mind. Funny. Repetition legitimizes especially in music yet here you are fatigued by repetition as though you weren't down four cups of black coffee. Repetition legitimizes. “From the sign,” the translation reads. Notation, simply instructing a musician to return to a certain point in a piece. You recognize it as an intro song you wrote years ago.

Glass and foam separate the undersized room. Cheap ramen and dampness in the hot air contribute to the odor. You would keep the fan on, if it were worth the extra time filtering out faint noise from recordings. The only scent that keeps you sane is a slight strawberry flavor lingering in the room. Jiwoo. Your muse. A large clock holds both of its hands near one with the lack of natural light muddling whether it’s AM or PM. Studios were always underground man-caves whether they were discount rooms or the signature workspace of the biggest producers. Here you are in the former. Look down at the Macbook and all the wires, sliders, and knobs. Deep breath. “Take 63,” you say into the cheap control room microphone.

“Not good enough.”

“Again.”

“One more.”

Look up. Jiwoo sucks on a grape lollipop. You stare. Watching her fixated on getting all flavor out of the purple sweet derails your flow state. See, work had a rhythm. Listen, volume up, hotkey to copy this clip, volume down. The obvious innuendo sends you offbeat. That perky butt bending over to get a notebook filled with lyrics entrenches the folds of your brain. She didn’t have to wear that skirt. You’ve seen that skirt already and you wish she weren’t wearing it. Oh, you really wish she weren’t wearing that skirt. Guilt sets in. You’re a trusted coworker, she, a naive girl. It takes a while to find your groove again. Your stare has yet to cease until she finally returns the eye contact with candy still in mouth. Her pink tongue laps to secure all the sugar and red pillows engulf the ever-shrinking circle. Pop. Anyone else and it would be calculated action.

“Oppa." Her voice resounds in your monitor headphones. "I don’t know if these harmonies really make sense. Why did you write the second voice to cross down below the main line? Plus it goes so low."

“To be fair, you wrote both of those melodies and you said you wanted them in the same song. Tell me anywhere else they’d work.”

“Ugh, let’s figure this out later. Next song.“

Dozens of takes later and Jiwoo’s frustration causes her to make mistakes. Sometimes she even tries to start singing with the sucker in her mouth. For the character she plays, you know she’s a professional and that she can be better. Yet hours later, she still could not get the vocal runs right. Incomplete songs bloat your project folder: "Jiwoo - Mania", "Jiwoo - Look Closer", "Jiwoo - Untitled Idea 21". Just a small side project that the company approved during another ample period of break time between comebacks. That’s why the director didn’t even let you use the company’s facilities, instead opting to rent out this cheap closet of a studio. At least no one would be mad about the amount of time you spent recording together.

You shift seats from the leather office chair to the white lovechair, the only two pieces of furniture that fit comfortably in the room. Jiwoo follows suit and leaves the recording booth, really more of a phone booth in square footage, while she huffs and puffs on her candy.

“I’m tired, oppa,” she says.

“Me too, Jiwoo. May I remind you that I’m not getting paid extra for this. Are you gonna focus or what?” your voice just a few cents down, just a bit harsher.

“I, I’m sorry.” A lick anyway. Her meek tone disappears, “Ya! You know how good your royalties are gonna be. Sole producer and all that. Plus, here you are still doing all this work for me." Why were you working so hard on this? "You know, if you just taught me how to use Ableton-”

“Then I’d be out of a job.”

Jiwoo frowns, “Wow, selfish much? You could’ve joined me as a trainee.”

“Nah, no way. Fish dance better.”

“Shut up, oppa. You would’ve easily made it with your, um, musical talent.” She clamps down on the lollipop with her mouth.

“You good? What was that?”

“Let’s," she stands promptly, "get back to recording.”

Crack. Jiwoo bites down on the lollipop and throws the stick in the trash. In ten minutes, she nails the verse she spent hours trying to get right. It'd be really nice to know what catalyzed that rally. You'd ask but driving Jiwoo back to her dorm is quiet as usual.

✦✧✦✧✦✧

Make a good impression on someone, anyone, on your first day as a mixing engineer. That’s why you returned to the Blockberry Creative building with an extra bar of Melona in hand. A simple bribery. Light beamed down between two skyscrapers on a short girl with long hair and strands of bangs adorning her forehead. She stood outside the lobby, introducing herself to every passerby. You had to pinch her cheeks, the intrusive thought screamed.

She scurried up to you. “Hi! I’m Kim Jiwoo and I’m going to become an idol!”

Ah, a trainee. You already knew she was destined to become one. Well, not literally, you weren’t in charge of that. But her overflowing charm was impossible to ignore. You had to tease her though, “Are you sure?”

“Hey! What would you know about that, mister?” she said.

You bit down on your mango. “Mister? First of all, I’m only a high school senior,” her lips rounded in surprise, “And second, I’m your new audio guy, and I know for a fact they’re debuting you girls in order of talent.”

“Woooow. Well, I’ll have you know, I have a great voice!” She certainly spoke lyrically.  “Wait a minute, I didn’t know they hired people that young.” You pointed at her. “Okay, I’m in high school too. But that’s different, idols start this age.”

“I guess. I’ve been making music ever since I was a kid, and they liked what I had,” you said and Jiwoo nodded in understanding.

She fluttered her eyebrows. “Sooo, is that mango ice cream for me? Oppa?” A little surprised she already called you that, but it sounded right.

“No, I have this unopened strawberry-” Jiwoo snatched the half-eaten cold treat from your hand, and started licking it. Trouble she would be.

You spent many recording sessions together, alone after all the other members left. She cozied up to you because her little musical snippets had to become full-fledged tracks and you helped her out every time.

Something changed over the years however. Your interactions became colder. It felt like you were the only one who she would respond to in a deeper voice. Jiwoo wouldn't pepper you with silly acts or mess around. Maybe she took you more seriously which is how you managed to make more songs together regardless. Then, you stood idly by and watched her debut. Who didn't love her? But when she was with you, you missed the playfulness, the ice cream and her riffing over your playful guitar strums. It turned less of a hobby and more of a job though you never regretted any second with Jiwoo regardless.

Under the Earth's largest natural satellite, you shared a simple meal in black bean noodles. She was still in her hippie outfit from the comeback, and you handed her your jacket since it was cold. You realized, there was something else there that you were too inexperienced to notice. Your bodies' radiation replace the chill in the air, a bubble with just the two of you eating on the grass in a park near your dorm. A cliche slurping on one noodle and Jiwoo pulled away. In embarrassment, like a damn anime character, she hiccuped. Good thing you didn't close your eyes when you leaned in.

“Wanna make an album together?” Jiwoo says.

“Sure.”

You threw away the noodles’ package and escorted her home. That was all you expected anyway. Fine.

✦✧✦✧✦✧

“That’s enough!”

Three goddamn weeks. It's been three goddamn weeks and you've barely made any progress.

Barge into the booth, slam the door shut and raise your tone, just below a shout, “I've had it up to here! You know how many of my songs have been mashed together in some unholy quest for your perfection? Just one unknown something is missing and either you start complaining or we move on to the next."

She backs up from the mic to the insulated wall but you continue, paying no heed to her, as you spout your piece to the artificially cold air, "You know how much time I’ve spent outside working on these songs? These are songs I’ve saved up over years. And you trash them like they’re nothing. How do you even manage to record LOONA tracks?”

Regret sinks in. This was your passion project as much as hers. Was it frustration from the recordings? Weeks of the same routine and it took until now for you to give in to your temper.

"It wouldn't even be that bad! If you could just one time, you could be cute or cheerful again with me, or,” Fuck. So stupid. You don’t have to take your friendships for granted like this. You’re lucky enough she treats you as much. “Hold on. Wait, I'm-"

Examine her face. It’s not sour and she hasn’t stormed out or even slapped you.

“No, no. You don’t have to say it. I’m. I’m sorry oppa.” She looks down. “I'm the one messing up after all." Her heartbeat a harsh snare drum. "And you. You're. Different. Looking at you always made me feel some, something funny. Not funny but? Ugh. I wish I could explain it.”

You hold in your confusion.

She blabbers on, “Like, are. Are you mad? I promise you, I,” A nervous breath, ”I like you. Okay?"

Your confusion grows like the length of your silence.

"I’m just acting how I really am with you. Do you want to maybe, I don't know, like," her voice decrescendos, "Um. Punish me?”

Your heart, your brain are deprived of blood as it all rushes down. Did you hear that right? Not an apology, not retribution, but a call to punishment? Misinterpreting her, the consequences would be dire but that damned demure tone for such an erotic request. Was Jiwoo the exact type of slut constructed in your mind? The one that made you feel sinful for even imagining. No, no, there's no way.

Too late. Jiwoo must have noticed the absurd bulge now. It had to be these Adidas pants today. Fuck it. Life can’t be lived fully without risk. Hopefully, the same switch turned in her mind. You remove all ire from your face and say in earnest, “Do you like games?"

She lights up a little. You sigh relieved.

"Let’s try…”, you say, ”Strip recording.” She lights up a little more, so you go on, ”If I mess up anything, the mix, the composition, the arrangement, I’ll take off a piece of clothing. Your choice. And every time you mess up-”

Jiwoo unbuttons her denim shorts and brings them down her tight legs.

“D- did I say now?”

However, with her resolve steeled, she continues pulling them. "So what? I did mess up, right?" she says coquettish. Deliberate the turn she makes when she bows down to remove the shorts from her legs, Jiwoo reveals a hint of her innie pussy on that same little ass that ran through your mind earlier. A small trace of her thighs glistens, the only thing reflecting the single lightbulb’s glow in the microphone’s abode. She turns back to face you. "Please. Punish me."

Step closer until Jiwoo backs up to the soundproofing. She’s an eighth note away from your face, flashing her beady eyes and a coy smile, ”Where's your underwear?" A little drop spills out onto the floor, "And why are you so wet, Jiwoo-ah?”

Red on her cheeks, like she only now realized her dishevelment in front of you. “You just… Something about you snapping at me. I don’t get it either. I knew you'd do it, some day, I wanted you to," she mumbles in her best efforts to answer you.

“Have you ever worn underwear to the recordings?”

Those efforts continue to fail.

"Oh, Kim Jiwoo. What do I do with you?" One of your hands grabs her cheek. The other crawls down her back to grab her cheek.

“Oppa… Do I have to say it?”

“I want to hear every." Smack. "Word." Smack. She slips a moan.

“Can you," she says, "can you use my mouth?”

You disguise your long pause as thought, teasing the bare skin of her ass with your exploratory fingers to bide time, but it's an expression of your shock. The interruption helps you come up with a more suitable punishment however.

“How about this then. Every time you mess up, you have to give me a blowjob. Call?”

“Call!” Once more, unprompted, she kneels down in front of you and claws away your track pants. You roll with the punches.

"Oppaa," with an pronounced pop and in a sing-songy rhythm, "I've always wanted to know, if your dick-" It certainly didn't need Jiwoo's dainty hands pulling on your boxers, as it would've sprang out on its own with how like diamond your cock is getting.

"Fuuuck," the first profanity you ever hear her utter, she lilts. "Please. Oppa. Fuck my face?"

After all she said, she could still surprise you. Bring your hips forward and just as you would've her pussy, tease Jiwoo’s lips with the head of your dick. She parts them open, starved, anxious.

Hold her by the chin. "Wait."

She freezes at the command. Again, like foreplay, rub her lips with that head making them turn redder and more plump. You sweep aside her bangs to see her begging eyes. More importantly, slide your dick up to her nude forehead to slap as a first act of retribution. “A-ah!” Jiwoo stutters as you slap her face with your manhood again and again. Bring your cock back down and she's already a mess without you even having entered her mouth. A little drool from her shut lips gently massages your balls while a bit of precum drools from your slit to meet those lips.

Jiwoo mumbles as best as she can with you holding her jaw shut and your dick on her lips, "Please. Please. Shove your dick in me. I need you in my mouth."

You squint your rough eyes to command her.

Muffled still, "Oppa. Please. I. I need to taste you. You just, you're so thick and you're so long and cock is perfect and please I just-"  Loosen the grip on her chin to let her envelop the entire tip with her warm lips. "Mmmmm..." the moan resonates a saw wave and your stern resolve fades away on your first entrance into her face but it returns as her teeth rub against you. She quickly readjusts her jaw but it takes multiple attempts of you pulling out and her sucking you back until only silken lips hold your cock's head. Finally. A focused glint in her eyes. She endeavours to keep your tip in her mouth as long as possible.

You were mad at her earlier, weren't you?

Recall this anger and press yourself into her with all your hips' strength, working against the force of her lip's airtight suction. Saliva leaks to betray the seal. Jiwoo's prying tongue explores the underside of your cock but you reach an impasse while she's not even halfway down the shaft. You shove your dick deeper but to no avail and tears roll down her eyes joining the fluids coating her lips. Thus you exit back out. And back in you go to repeat and repeat and slowly increase your rate, becoming rough sex with her diligent mouth. All the positions you’ve imagined fucking her little pussy, you picture using her throat instead. Even in this compact studio, the couch, chair and desk would provide ample support for you to use her in many ways. The dirty thoughts inspire your speed right now. She slurps and gulps at every quick plunge but you realize her moans and rumbles aren't just incoherent reactions. You decelerate.

“Ah, ahhh, ahhhhhh… Ah’ve ahways- Hmph.” She slurs as she tries her hardest to communicate while her airway is blocked.

She slides up your cock to catch some air, “Thought about it- Mmm.”

“Your dick in my mouth and it’s just so pew, fect- Ahhh.” Jiwoo's lips let go gently then her tongue sticks out to lick up your cock and she shows off a trail of spit leading to your tip. A less patient man would’ve jerked himself off right there to grant her eyes and open mouth's unison request to feed on your cum.

Instead you retort, “You think you’ve earned it? Not even halfway down. Going nowhere, just like our recording sessions, huh?”

“Shut up!”

“Oof.” You’re already weak in the knees so Jiwoo's one handed shove sends your tailbone to the floor. Since you’re still dazed by her confounding strength, she takes initiative and kowtows her head into your lap to crawl down your cock with her tiny lips. Fondling your balls, Jiwoo starts from the furthest point she could muster on your shaft up to your cock head. Her tongue follows back and she starts playing under your tip to swirl that tongue around the most sensitive parts until it explores your slit. You buckle and groan. Jiwoo sucks and spits and sucks while she circles only the most minimal twisting motion of her lips on your head. This is the Jiwoo you know. Relentless. Only now your load is her magnus opus.

Her right hand strays downwards and her face on your dick blocks a full view but you can tell that hand is working as intensely as her mouth. As she strokes herself with more vigor, she starts humming a satisfied melody on your tip. In kind, your subtle grunts turn into full-bodied moans. You're a single measure away from your coda so you reach down and pull her off your cock by grabbing her neck.

You glare into her. “Desperate little girl, aren't you?”

Her breath is stilted and she's nearly shaking. “Please…” she sobs, ”You, you want it as bad as I do right?” Of course. “Won't you just cum for me?” Not now. Not when you have putty in your hands.

“You're making a mess. You can't take me all the way down. And I see that it’s not just your saliva coating the floor.” Point to the spot where she kneels, her drool joins a stain growing ever larger with a strand of juice from her pussy flowing as you continue to berate her. Then you point to her hand. Ha. “Were you playing with yourself using my pencil?”

“No… Wait!”

You back off. “Your top’s a mess too. Anyone can tell I just fucked your face.” You take off your black hoodie and give it to her. “I’ll see you tomorrow for our next session.”

“Wait, we didn’t book tomorrow, did we? Also, you can’t just leave me like this! Oppa!”

"I said, I'll see you tomorrow. I have to go,“ you remind her, ”Ha Rin’s picking you up. And give me back that pencil.”

She hands it to you, unable to meet your eyes despite hers lusting over your cock. You'll definitely use the alluring musk on it for later to save you from your self-induced blue balls. Exit the booth. Of course she barely waits to use your hoodie the same way since she doesn’t notice you lingering in the room. Instead of hiding the grey long sleeve that soaks her neck, your used sweatshirt covers Jiwoo’s face as her fingers make the mess on the floor larger.

✦✧✦✧✦✧

AFF, AO3

Swear to god I’m not just writing the cutest idols to write for. I mean maybe I am but also this answer from @nsfwtwicecatcher​ and all the subsequent pictures that I found of Chuu pouting inspired me. Also, this was a longer piece but I kept spinning my tires on it and decided to split it up, so look out for more.

✦✧✦✧✦✧

Fermata, the aforementioned sequel

[beingemotionalsince2003]

hey! i'm just another sad soul rewatching this season because I can't get enough of Druck. here are my thoughts on episode 2:

c͓̽l͓̽i͓̽p͓̽ o͓̽n͓̽e͓̽ • AVA AND FATOU SUPREMACY they both look so good on that roof scene ❤-❤. • Like, sisters, drop that skin-care routine you're literally flawless. • Honestly, watching Ava talk about her bullying story really hit me. People treating you differently really fucks you over for the long term. I still can recall my fist years on school (before I started homeschool) and how being an outcast and all the little comments other kids made still define me and impact my insecurities is amazing. PRAISE DRUCK FOR NOT NORMALIZING CHILDREN BEING SHITTY AS SOMETHING LIGHT! I wish this show existed when I was younger. • Fatou is such a good listener! Where do I get that talent from. • Also this girl with glasses is my sexuality. I'd literally let her step on my foot and thank her ✋🏿. c͎l͎i͎p͎ t͎w͎o͎ • Dating apps are shitty. That's all I'm gonna say. c͓̽l͓̽i͓̽p͓̽ t͓̽h͓͓̽̽r͓͓̽̽e͓̽e͓̽ • The Spanish music on the background is so embarrassing omggg 😌. • Okay so I love Kieu My, you know that, but she really made me despise her some clips and this is one of them. I know she was just scared and whatever but is there really a need to give mixed signals? Last week you were all in for skating classes and now you just make it all awkward Please Decide. • Anyway, Nhungi's SO BEAUTIFUL how on earth- 😥 • These daydream scenes were so unexpected for all of us 😂. I love the way this couple was never desexualised! We know Fatou is against objectifying people but how we are shown that that also doesn't mean she doesn't experience sexual attraction is SO well done. Fatou, sis, honestly same. • Kieu My's little smile! I died. • Mailin and the Ava-cle 😂 • That 💛 Lip 🖤 Grab 💛. • This clip is just a huge LOL not kidding. • Zoe calling Fatou's name and her small “hum?” SO ADORABLEEE. • This is definitely one my favorite Fatou's outfits. And is it just me or those pants look exactly the same than the ones Kieu My was wearing on the love scene? Am I going crazy? c͎l͎i͎p͎ f͎o͎u͎r͎ • Fatou's looks for Christmas? GORGEOUS. • Also I agree, Chibi. Goose who, I'm tired of it. • The Jallow siblings being relatable af? CHECK ☑. • THIS FAMILY. This parents. This peace between them. Just amazing! I remember the only Christmas Eve I spent with my folks alone and it was horrible. We fought the whoooole time. Seeing families being so happy together and welcoming warms my heart in ways that I can't even explain 😢❤. So beautiful. c͓̽l͓̽i͓̽p͓̽ f͓̽i͓̽v͓̽e͓̽ • Sira singing is a vibe. • AND THE LYRICS? How did Ava not notice this is 100% about Kieu My? 🤷🏿😂 • Fatou literally said "I SEE YOU" omg the writers are so brilliant!!! Planning everything beforehand. • Ava asking Fatou to talk to her neighbors is prob my top scene of them ever 😂 • Ugh, I adore the complicity on this friendship sm! The way they talk with their eyes when miss crush arrives? I STAN. • Q angry is so powerful. Just saying. • And THAT SMIRK is what I'm showing to anyone who asks me why do I like girls. “Shut up and see this”. • Kieu My's laugh! The way I miss them 💔. • Btw, poor Fatou. I also cannot even THINK about watching horror films. I get traumatised forever. • Q really just threw her shit out there right? 😂 Her confidence!!! I could never. • Also Fatou being so chill and open with that conversation?! How. • I get so awkward every time I hear Fatou say "lesbian flirting". See me cringe. • That face Kieu My does when Fatou says "stare them in the eyes" never fails to make me fall. Just... I'm in love. • It was so funny how unaware this girl was with the nail thing. Sooo relatable to my "just realized I'm not straight" period. • THE BODY LANGUAGE in this clip is everything. The lip stares. The tension. God is it just me or it is hot in here? • Dude. This fucking chaotic gays. Fatou, darling, Kieu My almost straight (or bi) forward asked you if you would date her and you said NO. Wtf?! 🙄 Aaaand that's all I have to say. Sorry for this being so long! But there is just too much to talk about this episode.

Thank you to the ones who read 'till the end! I'm planning to comment on the rest of the season so stay tuned 💛.

[riofann]

Rio Random 2.0

Part 1 

Once again you and Aunt Brenda are at a tennis tournament. It had been weeks since your last interaction with Rio 

“So what’s going on with you and that fine young thing what’s his name?”

“Don’t know who you’re talking about” you fib 

“You know that one with the tattoos” 

You sigh “Rio Aunt Brenda?”

“Yes, yes him. Mr.Rio”

You shrug “I don’t know.... nothing”

“Have you even tried talking to the man” by now she knew the details of how you two met and how you three found yourself in this situation 

“I don’t want to be lied to” 

“You never know he might tell you the truth honey” she retorts playfully hitting your arm 

“No he lied for so long what’s the difference now?”

“Maybe the difference is that he no longer has to lie and you two can move forward”

“Can we just watch the match”

She puts her hands up “Sure sure but it would be a shame to let that go”

Your head whips around and now you’re beyond irritated. It was hard enough trying to get over him, her talking about him wasn’t helping “It was a shame for him to lie to me whose side are you on?” 

“Yours! Yours! I'm sorry honey. I just want to see you happy” she soothes sensing your irritation 

You’re shoulders slump and you lean into her “I know”

“Just reach out” 

You take in a deep breath as you think about it. 

~~~~~You took the leap of faith and did as Brenda instructed you two were to meet at the local restaurant a little upscale, quiet and private. However you find yourself wanting to curse him out the second you see him.

He rushes over “heeyyy mama” he says smiling at you

You cut your eyes at him “30 minutes!” you scold

He chuckles “I’m sorry”

“30 minutes Rio and you couldn't send a text, been blowing me up to meet and then you show up 30 minutes late?!.... wow”

He leans over and kisses your cheek “tranquilo mami”

He knows what that does to you and immediately you take in a deep breath and blow out slowly 

“I'm sorry okay i was handling something” he says as he seats across from you 

“Okay”

“You look good” he compliments

“Order your food!” you bark now hangry

“Si mami”

“Don’t” you roll your eyes 

He chuckles “my bad my bad”

You sit and watch as the waiter walks up and he orders his food putting his phone face down he leans back on his chair “so what’chu wanna talk to me about?”

You shrug “Nothing now”

“Come on I said i'm sorry” He gets up and pulls the chair closer to you, so instead of sitting across from you, now he was to the right of you. 

“Why didn't you send a text?”

“I couldn't”

“Why not?”

He leans forward, staring you down “Y/N”  he gives you a look “cuz i couldn’t” 

And for a moment you had forgotten who he was and what he did

“Oh” you utter coming to the realization of just why he couldn’t 

“Yea I’m sorry I’ll make it up to you” 

“Okay”

“So......” he drawls leaning back in his chair, taking a sip of his drink 

“Sooo you dance and play tennis?”

He smiles “yea calms my nerves”

“What could possibly make you nervous you're Rio”

“You have no idea” He smirks 

“What else?”

“What else what?” 

“What else do you do that I don't know” 

“I prefer you don’t find out and I’m not bout to tell you” 

You roll your eyes “Anyway....Why did you lie to me?”

“So you don’t have any other hobbies”

“I prefer you find out the natural way, I don’t want to have to tell you” 

“It's complicated”

“We have time......” you say as you cut the appetizer with your knife and fork “....or do you have something else to prioritize” you speak with an attitude laced in your words.  He hates to admit it but he missed your sass. It was always funny to him the pencil pushing good girls had the worst mouth on them. 

He smirks and sits up straight. “I’m here”

“So I was some sort of front?” you had slowly pieced things together however you didn't know why 

“Yea at the beginning but not anymore”

You can’t help but roll your eyes “Please”

He sits up and leans closer to you “Stop rollin yo eyes at me” he speaks so calmly but there's a threat lying underneath that tone 

You huff “Fine” 

“I aint lying to you tho”

You look at him for a moment before you decide to speak again and resist the urge to roll your eyes. It's more difficult than you imagined. Your facial expressions were a main form of communication for you. 

“So what are you gonna do about Krystal?”  What was he really going to do about apparently being in another relationship with another woman simultaneously?

“Ima take care of it” 

“I don’t know! maybe” you argue 

“How?” you snap, he raises his brow at you before taking another sip of his drink,  you pause before you speak again “.... Maybe you shouldn't..... maybe if you talk to her.... I don't know.... reconcile” 

“You sayin  i should go back to her?”

“Nah she ain’t for me” 

“And I am? I don't know your world!” you comment

“I don't want you to”

“So how can we be together if you only show me a part of you?”

He leans forward again, speaking slowly to add emphasis “Y/N, I don’t want you to. I just want you there I don't want you to ever feel like you gotta pick up a gun to prove a point or protect yourself”

You take a deep breath “and you think i won’t have to do that eventually?” 

He looks at you with his typical nonchalant  face “nah i got you” 

“I don't get it why did you even fall for me if I was just a facade?”

“I didn’t plan this shit. It just happened plus i got tired of feeling like all i did was take care of business 24/7. Who wants to be talking about cappin someone 24/7? I couldn’t even have my son around me when she was there! Plus I trust you. I trust you more than her and even tho she knows that side of my life i know you wont sell me to the wolves” 

You leave it at that because you feel like he would never tell you the truth, and you also felt like he was talking in circles, so you choose to proceed with caution. 

As soon as you arrived home later in the day you’re tired and ready to go to bed. Too many mixed emotions. Did you like Rio? Yes, Did you think your relationship would ever evolve into something more? No? Maybe? What is your relationship with him ? Side chick? Booty Call? FWB? BF/GF?  

“Hey!” You hear from behind you as your place the key in the door lock

“It’s okay, what's up? Why are you here?” you remember what Rio had said about her

Your body jumps, a natural reaction seeing that you were deep in thought and unaware of your surroundings “Oh my god!” The familiar voice however reduces the panic you’re feeling “You scared me!” you turned to face Krystal

“I’m sorry” 

“Oh I just decided to pay you a visit, mind if i come in?” she flashed you that smile, you were beginning to hate it

“Sure!”  you opened the door and let her in first “want something to drink?”

“Here you go!” 

“Yea what you got?”

“Liquor, wine”

“Oooh do you have Bourbon?”

“Yes”

“Bourbon on the rocks” Your mind flashes back and you remember all the times Rio had ordered Bourbon on the rocks and it made you sick, to think the entire time he was there with you his mind was with her

“Thanks!,” she pats at her leg “come here sweety” she speaks to your dog ‘Coconut’, instead of walking over Coconut looks between you two and opts to lay at your feet. “Ugh my dog does the same thing” 

“So why are you here again?” You were over this ‘visit’ already

“Have you talked to Rio lately?”

You find it odd that she would ask about Rio the same day you had lunch with him “Yea, had lunch today” no need to lie she probably knew 

“Hmm” she hums as she takes a sip of her drink “did he talk to you?”

“About?”

“Me and him?” she looks at you wearily, playing with the glass in her hand

You shrug “Umm just said you two were exes” 

You close the door and look at Coconut who barks at you from the stairs, “I know, i feel the same” 

She perks up, smiling at you “oh yea!” she takes a deep breath  “I’m sorry I should have told you but I didn’t, we are really good friends and I got caught up in the moment, I was drunk” you take note of her quick change in behavior, if they were truly exes she would have told you before she even introduced you two 

“It’s okay”

Quickly she finishes her drink without saying much else other than“Well i should probably get going it's late”

“Yea thanks for stopping by” you couldn’t wait for her to leave

“Yea! See you around” 

You opt to not even text Rio about Krystal's pop up at your house for all you know they were still seeing each other. However the ‘pop ups’ between Krystal and Rio were becoming a bit much. Weeks of them simultaneously showing up out of nowhere just to ‘chat’ were becoming unbearable.  By now it was obvious they were both stalking you. 

 The doorbell rang as you and Rio sat by the kitchen island ‘chatting’ it up. You hopped down and rushed towards down the steps in your split level home

“Hey!” you force a smile as Krystal walks in “We are waiting for you upstairs”

“We?” she turned to look at you from the foyer 

“Do you want what he has? Bourbon on the rocks” 

“Yea just keep going” you motion for her to climb the steps

It was as much as a surprise to her as it was to Rio seeing each other there

Rio runs his hand over his face settling it on his chin massaging it to ease his irritation. 

“Uh sure!” she says carefully placing her purse on the counter

“I'M SICK OF THIS SHIT! THIS TALKING IN CIRCLES! CONTINUOUSLY LYING TO ME! USING ME TO GET INTEL ON EACH OTHER!” 

“You can sit next to him you don’t have to act like he’s a stranger”

“Y/N” Rio begins but you cut him off

“SO! I don’t know what’s going on with you two! But I’m tired of the fucking pop ups! I don’t need to be scared half to death every fucking time one of you decides to pay me a visit! I don’t know how I’m connected to whatever fucking plot you two are concocting but i don’t want any parts of it”

“There’s no..” Krystal interjects, which only makes you even more angry and you just let it all out. So much for being calm cool and collected 

Both Rio and Beth look at each other 

“Sweety it's not like that” 

“DON’T FUCKING CALL ME SWEETY BITCH” 

Krystal in turn looks to Rio to fix the problem

You take a deep breath to calm down, you were getting too worked up you could feel yourself getting ready to cry. “I don’t care! i just want both of you to know I’m done with both of you go find another pansy to fuck around with!” you turn to Rio and face him dead on “Go find another woman to fuck with while you lie about how much you “care” about her!  Now GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE AND NEVER CALL OR PAY ME A VISIT AGAIN” 

Krystal alarmed by your yelling, is quick to grab her things, she never expected this to happen. Rio slowly eases down from his seat and grabs his keys before leaving. He was beyond furious at the moment. 

“Y/N can we just” Krystal tries to bargain again

“GET OUT!” It comes out as a high pitched shriek  

When they both leave you slam the door and lock it. You know it wasn’t the end of whatever was going on but at least you stood up for yourself. And now you can finally let go and let the tears out 

Your dog Coconut groans and you nod in response, pulling her in for a hug. 

“Rio!” Krystal calls as she rushes to his side

“WHAT DO YOU WANT?” his jaw is tight hands in his pockets

“We need to talk” 

“NO! YOU NEED TO GO HOME! I TOLD YOU I WAS HANDLING IT”

“I know but,” 

~~~~~The rest of the week you didn’t hear anything from both of them however the following week after you arrive to work, parking your car in its usual spot you get out of hear the infamous Rio speak causing you to spin around 

“BUT NOTHING GO HOME AND LEAVE HER THE FUCK ALONE!”

He got in his car and slammed the door before driving away.  

“What are you doing here?”

“Get in the car we need to talk” he’s calm like always.

“NO! I have to work!” you stand your ground

“Y/N, I wasn’t asking”

“I don’t care! Leave me alone!” 

“I have to work Rio!” Without saying anything he starts to walk over to you. “Okay, okay, I’ll get in” you walk past him quickly and hear huff leave his mouth before he opens the door for you, you slide into the seat, you watch as he gets in his seat. He doesn’t even look at you but you can tell he’s still vexed. Jaw is still tight with a firm grip on the steering wheel. You don’t say anything but look out the window as you drive to an unknown location in town. It was a warehouse. You take a deep breath expecting this to be your last memory. 

He removed his hands from his pockets, this time placing them in front of him, he squints a little looking at you before he decides to speak  “get in the car or I’m gonna come over there and put you in the car”

“I’m gonna scream!” you threaten

He takes a few steps forward, which only caused you to retreat back “I don’t give a fuck! GET IN THE CAR!” he says more sternly and you would be lying if that didn’t frighten you

He scoffs “I’m not gonna kill you, if that’s what you’re thinking” 

How did he always know what you were thinking? 

“How long is this gonna take?” you ask looking around

“You might as well say you can’t make it in today”

You quickly text your boss and your car problems evolve into a bigger issue thankfully she understands and you feel at ease for now. You walk closely behind him as you approach the warehouse you can hear the chatter as you approach the building, when you do step in you're surprised to see a restaurant. 

The smell of coffee and pancakes fill the place. The young girl seats you two by the kitchen. You look around in awe, you had no idea this place even existed.  The place had an open kitchen concept so you could see the chefs and cooks working their magic and if you chose you could sit by the counter and watch. 

“Hi Welcome to The Barnyard! How many?”

“Two” Rio answers

“Sure” you answer apprehensively 

“You’re waitress will be Alyssa she’ll be with you shortly”

“Thanks”

“Hungry?” he knew you didn’t eat breakfast 

You two order and eat not without saying anything to each other. Once you’re done he gets up and motions with his head for you to follow him. You walk towards the back past the kitchen, past the employee locker room/bathroom, take a turn into the backroom where the bus boys cleaned the dishes,  past the huge walk in freezer and stop in front of a door where Rio knocks. The guy opens immediately, the door was heavy, like one of those safe doors you see in banks. You take a glance at the man on the other side of the door,  he looks meaner and scarier than Mick you thought to yourself. You continue to walk down a few steps that seem to be taking you underground to another door where Rio knocks once again and the same door as upstairs, when you step in, you walk into what seems like a huge operation. Your eyes take it all in on one side there are people counting money on the other they’re bagging it. Not to mention what seemed like illicit drugs being packaged.  Rio takes a seat by the table and watches.You sit down next to him and try to absorb it all. He doesn’t say anything for what seems like forever. 

“You said you wanted to know what i did so here you go”

You turned to face him “why are you showing me all of this, now?” 4 months you dated this man and you thought he was a local drug dealer who made it big, this was cartel level operations 

“Things have changed, I might be wrong in my approach to keep you in the dark, and we need to talk,”  he removes his jacket and takes out his gun, placing it on the table “Krystal isn’t who you think she is,

“I know you told me that” 

“Remember when she kept handing you zip-lock bags at the school luncheon, yea they all got your fingerprints. Bags filled to the brim with coke and heroin. There's a few storage keys hidden in your house, the feds would find those too, it would lead them to a local storage where they would find more money and drugs, your fingerprints are on those too. I asked you to hold on to them for me.”

“Her name is Beth Boland, you are a front. But it’s much deeper than that,” with his fingers he makes quotation marks “ ‘Krystal’ and I have an operation we are business partners, ended up fucking, emotions got thrown in the mix. She put 3 bullets in me.”  He stops himself from, feeling like he’s getting carried away. “Anyway the feds started to question her connection to me, she got nervous, and came up with the plan of you, you would be my “girlfriend” while we continued to work and fuck.  If the Feds started to look deeper they would see that the only reason she would be around me is because of you. But you being my girl wasn’t enough so we decided to plant some evidence in your house”

“What?!” 

Your heart sinks

“You were going to be the fall guy and that would in turn get the feds off of her ass, my ass too for now at least” 

You knew you were a front but this, you didn’t think it would be this, how could you be so stupid. 

“But Beth ‘Krystal’  is becoming more of a problem, plus i can’t just over look my feelings for you” 

“What feelings? Why did you even? Feelings?”  

“I told you i didn't plan it!” irritation spewed out in his tone, but it was more so at himself than you “I care about you mama, you my girl” 

You think about all the times you spent together, the few sexcapades you had, you feel sick to think it was all just part of the process, he was just going through the motions, whose to say he isn’t now? Maybe things are taking too long and he’s waiting for you to hang yourself with this new information. 

“You can ask me whatever you want, I ain’t got shit to hide anymore, plus I figured its the least I can do” 

“When did you start feeling differently, towards me?”

“About 2 months in” 

2 months?! That's all it took was two lousy months, for him to ‘care’ about you? You knew you were naivety but how stupid did he think you were? 

You contemplate calling the cops, FBI, hell the FBI would believe you wouldn't they? They already knew about them you were an innocent party

“I can see you thinking, just know if you go to the cops, they’ll do an investigation and since majority of them are on my payroll they won’t find nothing on her, they’ll instead turn their attention to you, with all that coke and heroin in your home, you wont see the light of day ever again. So whatever you’re thinking just know if Beth goes down, I go down and I’m not gonna let that happen whether you like it or not.”  There’s that Grade A ‘CARE’ you say to yourself 

You nod and wipe your tears away

“But I’m working on it.” 

You scoff, what could he possibly be working on other than nailing the last nail in your coffin

“If i wasn’t trust me you would be in jail right now” 

You swallow hard. This was a lot to process. You want to ask what he’s working on to get the target off your back but you don’t all you can think of is how you were one call away from being thrown in federal prison on drug trafficking charges. 

He doesn't say anything else and for the rest of the time you are in that warehouse you sit quietly just absorbing everything that was happening. A few men stop by to talk to him but he doesn’t introduce you, you sit there listening to the conversation. Even if the feds were to interview you right now, you wouldn’t know what the conversation was about. It was in code and so vague that you couldn’t piece anything together.  By the time you leave it's getting dark and you wouldn’t even remember how to get there. He pulls up to your car parked in the parking deck at work and gets out the car to open the door for you. You wanted to hop out and run to your car but you're frozen. 

“Y/N” he calls to you bringing your attention back to him “i’m working on it, i just need you to trust me”

You nod in response feeling the tears threatening to fall you begin to walk away but he grabs your arm lightly pulling you back 

“Her and Mick are there weekly and Mick leaves things a certain way if you go looking he will know, she will know, I’m trying to fix it mama i just need time, i just need you to operate as usual”

“You can’t go searching for them or she’ll know”

You give him a confused look 

You pushed him away, pulling your arm from his grip “Okay” you were done with him for the day, being around him made you sick, he literally plotted your demise and for the most part didn’t care about you, until recently. 

When you arrive home you look around and before you can stop yourself you rush over to the bathroom and throw up. When you've calmed down from your panic attack you walk around your home afraid to touch anything feeling like you were in a ticking time bomb, afraid that would be the reason the feds rushed over to your place. 

A/N: As always please tell me what you think! 

[anotherbeingsworld]

I’ll See You Again

Pairing: Sienna Trinh x Danny Cardinal

Summary: A depth look in Sienna’s and Danny’s relationship until the night before it all went down. 

Warning: Mentions of death. Besides that, its a fluffy and bittersweet tale. 

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything, except the storyline. All characters are owned by Pixelberry.

A/N: I am backkk, well.. not literally. I took a small chunk of my time to write this to celebrate our girl Sienna, and for the @siennatrinhappreciationblog​ ! This is my submission for Day 1 of Sienna Trinh Appreciation week and this is my first time writing for them, I hope I hit the mark! I have been quite mixed feelings in life right now, it is both a good and bad time-ish, it feels like a lot and, i am so sorry if I am lack on updates for bryce fics, I hope to write soon without hesitation and everything else that is going on! So, no one told me that life is gonna be this way.... sjssksk, i am surviving at its finest! I hope all of you are doing amazing, and thank you for everything! I apologize in advance if there is any grammatical errors! Enjoy!

Tags: @siennatrinhappreciationblog​ , @mvalentine​ , @drethanramslay​ , @storyofmychoices​ , @jaxsmutsuo​ , @fantasyoverreality98​ , @bratzlahela​ , @choicesficwriterscreations​ @aylamwrites​ , @baltersome​ , @kelseaaa​ , @thundergom, @ohramsey​ , @ohvamsey​ , @mrsbhandari​  , @starrystarrytrouble​ ( I don’t have a perma tag list and this isnt a Bryce fic, sooo... I am tagging a few peeps!)

LINK TO MASTERLIST

The small moments they spend as the sun sets at the house party, as they talked about life, tv-shows, good memories, cringey moments and life is one of the best moments for her. The moments followed, was a series of smiles caught in-between shifts, as their hands brushed on the nurses counter, or the introduction of 50s movies that made her smile, including a monologue of Danny reciting the lines of a damsel in distress that made her heart leapt in joy.

She had Wayne, but the feeling with him cant be compared as he made her feel unimportant, as if there is a barrier in between that keeps on stopping her from seeing the light. Danny Cardinal is a different one, a new presence that somehow she didn’t know she needed. Someone who sees her more than Wayne ever does, someone who appreciates her talents along with their quirky interests that made them compatible one way or another.

She never told her roommates, the day they went out to Donahue together, a moment of silence as Sienna finally had the courage to invite him for a drink, after her break-up with Wayne. She wasn’t ready to move on yet, but…she felt like she needed a friend. Someone to talk too, someone who she could relate in a way, and that’s where Danny Cardinal made his entrance.

‘I just break up with my long-time boyfriend..’ It suddenly slips out of her tongue, somehow she was wallowing it after their confrontation with Casey earlier.

He wasn’t ready. He didn’t expect that news would drop as they just finished work.

‘OH-, are you okay? Do you need anything, we could go back if you want!’ His voice filled with caution, as he tries to comfort her in the most awkward way he could think of at the moment.

Sienna smiles at his reaction, it was a mixture of cute and adorable which she is aware that it is similar. A laugh stifle out of her, as Danny smiles too. Mirroring her expression, he found himself being very careful as he slips his fingers into her, giving her a squeeze, equivalent to the saying, ‘everything is going to be alright.’

She felt happy, a different kind of happiness. That night was the start of it all, a small gesture that is worth more than a thousand words. It was called, something new. She recalls the small gesture, when she is down, or mad, or even sad, as a way to assure herself that she is going to be alright.

Until that unfortunate day, the fear in her started to show as seeing her best friend, and him there in the room somehow being sacrificed for an evil plan. She recalls their small talks the night before, as he was seen bringing her a cup of coffee after the long day they both had, their small talks is something normal in other people’s eyes, as it is an escape for them into the world.

‘A cup of brownie chocolate drink for one Sienna Trinh?’ His voice in a sing-song as he passed the cup to her.

‘…And, a cup of Hazelnut Latte for Danny Cardinal courtesy of Casey, and her access to Dr. Ramsey’s coffee machine.’ She whispered the last part of the sentence making him laugh as his voice boomed through the empty hospital hallways.

‘Free coffee too, count me in?’ Danny said happily taking a sip of his drink, as Sienna does the same.

‘How was your day?’ She asked, as they walked through the hallways; one of the reasons she manages to keep herself sane after all the insanity from her day as a second-year resident.

‘It was…’ He went silence, as he took another sip before continuing.

‘The Senator’s case. It was odd, and weird. I know I shouldn’t questioned anything, but he gave me some bad vibes, including his assistant Travis, they both kinda gave me a weird vibe. I felt like Travis was lurking his way down the halls, somehow searching for something… and it creeps me out.’ A shiver escaped him, as they arrived at the quiet cafeteria.

‘I heard about him, he is the one who came from Mass Kenmore right?’ Sienna asked, recalling the info Casey told her about her heist with Baz at MK.

He nod, taking another sip.

‘How was yours?’

She lets out a sigh, followed by a groan.

‘I am guessing, it was bad..?’ His voice slowly, as Sienna nods in return.

‘It wasn’t horrible, but…it felt tiring. I just feel like I have to do everything and Mitch isn’t helping one bit, and there is this kid, he is suffering with all these decisions and... ugh!’ She lets out a groan of frustration once more, earning an ‘I’m sorry’ look on Danny’s face.

She tried to plastered a smile on her face, an attempt to make herself look stronger. But, somehow she felt like she can’t fake it, a part of her wanted to fake a smile, and just brushed the topic off.

‘You know you don’t have to be strong in front of me Sienna, it’s okay to be sad once in a while…’ Danny stated with a slow tone, a comforting one.

‘Doctors were supposed to be strong, its our job to be strong for our patients…’

‘And yet, we are humans Sienna. We can cry, smile, laugh and get ourselves angry because we are human. Those feelings are valid, and it means you are you. There is honestly nothing wrong with that okay?’ Danny moved to the opposite side of the table, taking a seat beside her. In a split second, she founds herself leaning onto the comfort of his hugs. The universal language that will never gets old, kisses are great and all, but… hugs are even better. He place his arms around her shoulder, as the cold environment around them was a hazy memory.

‘You know you give good hugs don’t you Danny?’ Sienna said in between the hugs, as their drinks started to cool off.

‘Hey, its apart of who I am! Don’t tell Bryce, he once told me that he was the best hugger in Edenbrook.’ A laugh stifled out of her once more, her troubles were behind.

‘Don’t worry, besides Casey; you are definitely a close second.’ She winks at him, as they enjoyed their presumably final moments together.

It was almost dawn, as both of their pagers were paged at the same time. Both of them rushed, at the same time trying to keep in moment as they enjoyed their small company together without any interruptions from the real world.

A few minutes after, they arrived at their pin-point where they would have to say ‘goodbye’. In that moment, without hesitation; a gut feeling inside told her; hug him. It can somehow be your last time seeing his face.

He looks at her in disbelief at first, but who ever declines a hug? He hugs her back, the feeling of comfort that somehow the key of keeping both of them sane is one ways or another. A gesture that she would love to get used to, hugging Danny. Maybe more than the other. After a while, they pulled away. A small smile linger on her face, as she left the nursing station; a contained feeling in her heart. She turns her head back, meeting his eyes once more. He waves from afar, as she waves back as they resume their lives.

And, that morning was the last time she saw his face. The last time she would feel his touch, the final cup of coffee together, and… their final hug. As Danny was one of the victims of Travis’s plan on murdering the Senator.

The sadness from before suddenly felt in her once again, without the comfort of his hugs and words. She felt herself wanting to break down, as the news escaped the lips of Dr. Ramsey.

Sienna tried to stay strong, as she stood behind the glass. With a full of pain in her heart, meeting Casey’s emerald’s which is fill with sympathy. She mouthed, ‘I’m so sorry’. As the tears threatened to fall from her eyes, Jackie scoot towards her way and bring her into the group’s embrace.

‘Don’t you dare die. No coma’s either. Just…hold the line, hear me?’ Her voice booms through the glass, as tear started to fall.

As all of them were ushered away, working on the treatment. Sienna looked back, as she saw Bryce walking into the room with a hazmat suit on him, a small smile on her face; knowing Casey wont be alone for the time being. She glanced back once more, before moving forward with the rest of the team.

------------------------

The same smile appeared once more, after Casey was saved. She couldn’t lose another one of the people she cared about, and… she engulfed her with a bear hug, the lost and comfort from the day before started to catch up to her. The day she lost Danny, and the day her best friend is save. Two different events that change her life in a way.

Funerals were meant to celebrate the life that was lived, staring at the black theme-d attire in her room, she wasn’t ready to face it. She wasn’t ready to face the day, where she would see him for the final time. The final time, where she could picture the smile on his face, as the memories from the past days would play in her mind again and again; as a way to comfort her sorrows.

She glanced at her room, somehow looking at it for the first time. Her eyes gaze upon the lines of furniture, and it stops at the wall of pictures. Somehow, all of the good memories from her intern year was on that wall, reminding her the good times of it all. Her eyes stop at one, she remembered it all too well.

A photo, both herself and Danny were sleeping on the couch after the party, that her friends took. She was mad at first, but… she realizes that was one of the earliest memories of herself and Danny, and she was grateful for it.

She didn’t join in the others, as a way to cope herself with all of it. She took the long way down, a way to be with her own thoughts, as after a while; the cemetery was in view. The number of nurses, workers, families, and many more had came by to express their thoughts. A way of remembering the ones that has gone, she glances at the crowd as she stood beside Dr. Ramsey who is somehow standing in the back of it all.

It was silence between them, as she glance upon the familiarity of the voice. It was Casey’s as she takes the lead, a smile upon her face from the stories that she managed to recalled from both Danny’s and Bobby’s time at Edenbrook, they were heroes. They will never be forgotten, somehow; it was one of the things that made saying goodbye very hard.

--------------------------

Afterwards, she founds herself linger behind. The skies are dark, upon the lost of two souls. Taking a small Laelia Orchid in her hand, making her way to both of them. Her tears stained cheek are visible, through the darkness of the sky. She places the flower in both of their caskets, a final goodbye.

The walk back to the hospital was accompanied by memories, smiles, laughter and even the warmth of his comfort accompanying her way back. She smiled despite it all, knowing that Danny is always going to be there, a comfort for her; as she took a sip of his favorite drink or, the moment where she stumbled at one of the movies from their trip to the Common. A reminder that he is always going to be apart of her, helping her through this life. As a human being, a doctor, a friend… and maybe in another lifetime; something even bigger than before.

She knows that she will see him again, very very soon. 

THE END.

[dontwakeme-causeimdreaming]

Fearless (Taylor’s Version) Thoughts:

(This will be VERY LONG)

Ok first of all I’m incredibly happy she gets to own this entire album now I’m so proud of her and these are all opinions we all have different favs and that’s totally fine if mine are different than yours

Fearless: kinda miss the country twang when she sings “drag me head first fearless” bc it was so fun to imitate when singing but overall good

Fifteen: her vocals are so strong in this omg “gONna be” hits different ... like it is so clear she really knows better now than she did at fifteen even sm more so than when she sang this at eighteen like she really feels it

Love Story: ok we been knew on this one a little bummed the eagle sound meant nothing though

Hey Stephen: this was never a personal fav of mine tbh but I LOVE her giggle in this omg (even more than the original giggle)... also the humming is a vibe at the end

White Horse: the control over “begging for forgiveness” a goddess

You Belong With Me: omg this one sounds the most different to me so far but I LOVE IT (also YBWM is a personal fav to begin with)... we can have a little misogyny ✨as a treat✨

Breathe: another tbh that was never my favorite (I don’t dislike it I just wouldn’t put it on ya know) but I feel like I can hear Colbie sm more on this version which I appreciate ... also “lOst a friend” in the bridge is so good

Tell Me Why: hot take but TMW has always been a personal fav and this version is SO GOOD the vocals are just so strong ugh and the “my mind” in the bridge is *chef’s kiss* ... “ask me for my love and push me around” toward the end too ugh I LOVE it

You’re Not Sorry: this song always gives me Conrad Fisher and Belly Conklin vibes from the Summer I Turned Pretty trilogy (especially the second book, but I would also accept Belly and Jere in the third book) (iykyk) but her control in the first verse is INCREDIBLE

The Way I Loved You: is it just me or does this version sound more country than the original? Also this may be really controversial and I’m sorry (please don’t attack me bc I do love this song) but I feel like Taylor sounds too mature to be singing about loving a toxic relationship here (which is a compliment to Taylor’s currently really healthy relationship it’s just too stable for this to be relatable anymore... or maybe I’m too old now 😬)

Forever and Always: this sounds so similar yet so different to me simultaneously but I do feel like since it’s been a decade and she’s obviously over the 27-second break up call now this version isn’t as sassy (especially the baby back ups)

The Best Day: this one sounds the most similar to the original so far imo and I hope it brought her joy instead of pain with the re-recording considering her mum’s health

Change: I know the original was written about Obama winning in 2008 but I can easily see the re-record being about Biden winning in 2020 bc both were such important elections

Jump Then Fall: I like that she keeps the “heh” before the beginning of the second verse that part is so fun this song is my ex best friend’s all time favorite though so it’s bittersweet listening to this version wondering what her thoughts may be

Untouchable: I usually skip Untouchable whenever it comes on the original but I didn’t this time I didn’t hear much of a difference but I liked Taylor’s version better (couldn’t tell you why) (maybe bc she owns it and I love her)

Forever and Always (piano version): this somehow sounds so much more raw (probably bc she has mastered writing heart breaking ballads at this point since 2008 lol) (e.g. All too Well, champagne problems, etc.)

Come In With the Rain: hmm I’m torn now that I made it this far on the album I can’t tell if I think this of the Best Day sounds most like the original

Superstar: Joe Jonas just can’t catch a break this week

The Other Side of the Door: ok but unlike TWILY I don’t feel like she sounds too mature to be singing this song (even though it’s about playing games in a relationship) and I always equate (and love) the two. The last verse in this song hits SO hard though on both versions but she sounds like she is having sm fun singing it on her version 🥺

Today Was a Fairytale: I will never get over how low the bar for men is “wore a dark grey t-shirt” and “told me I was pretty” is a fairy tale lmao... but in all seriousness I loved this version

You All Over Me: I love the addition of Maren Morris I do just wish that when she adds female collaborators they got actual lines as opposed to harmonies like her male collabs do... the lyrics are very old school Taylor with the pavement references it reminds me of both TTWAS and Fearless simultaneously

Mr. Perfectly Fine: SUCH A BOP this song walked so All Too Well could run with casually cruel and I find it iconic that Sophie posted about it like I don’t even have an ex that broke my heart but when I hear that song I feel like I do

We Were Happy: I am SOOO happy this was chosen as a vault track this has been one of my favs since like 2011 before all the unreleased songs were deleted from YouTube my 14 year self is QUAKING to finally have a high quality and easily accessible version of this song I AM SO HAPPY

That’s When: ok but see what I mean bc Keith gets actual lines whereas Maren and Colbie just get background harmonies but I did enjoy this song it was catchy

Don’t You: ok this is really relatable I vibe with it it’s a little slow first listen but her slow songs with lyrics I relate to always grow on me a lot

Bye Bye Baby: I like the beat a lot and idek how to describe the one part that really caught my attention it was like “ayayay” toward the end idk it’s very late now I’m tired lol but I liked it

I’m incredibly tired now after staying up to listen to this on a work night but it was worth it I hope my rambling made sense (this post is mostly for me to remember my initial thoughts and how they change over time but I love discussion too just please be respectful if our opinions are different!)

*Disclaimer: this will be the ONLY version of Fearless I listen to from now on even though I prefer the 2008 version of some songs bc Taylor owns it :)

[selfcareparker]

(lovely anon) i'm so happy to finally be answering this oh my goodness hi gorgeous human being i feel that it has been too long 🥲 SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED SINCE THE LAST TIME I'VE WRITTEN ONE OF THESE HOW HAVE YOU BEEN

to answer the things you have said most recently- i'm so mad that spring break is over bc now i have to go back to life??? like dancing and school and shit that feels so unnessacry 😭 and like i can't just do nothing anymore? i was so used to it and now...... ugh. i STILL haven't played sims (i think it's because ✨depression✨ be hitting sometimes) lol but MWAHAH IM SO HAPPY FOR YOUR NEIGHBOR!AU AND THAT THEY HAD LITTLE BABY LEO!! i feel the name thing.. i just come up with something that sounds nice? i think leo is a nice name, it makes me think about lea michele and the fact that her son's name is Ever Leo but anyway. i don't name my sims after what i want to name my children irl either... idk why though. (i don't know why i'm telling you this but for boy names i love Liam🥰 and if i had twin boys i think i would do Liam and Peter though i am not married to the name Peter.... anywho)

LMAOOO the therpaist coming made me laugh thank you :)) i hope it's helpful? this may be tmi but i've only really had negative thoughts recently and not many healthy outlets so i'm hoping crossing one thing off this sad list will make me feel better :') i think during spring break my anxiety and my depression really spiked? idk, it comes in episodes but yeah THIS GOT REALLY SAD

i think a lot of things when i read your posts but i never say them hahaha so imma say it now: i googled what bon appetit meant ( i also just had to google how to spell it ) but ur right, i feel like bone apple tea makes more sense than bone apple teeth.. the "th" is throwing me off bc how i say it bone appa (like app-a) teet (like you're saying tit but teet lol) so bone apple tea makes more sense to me lol

i never know really know the time difference for anything lmao but est to germany (that's not gmt is it?) is like 6 hours wOAH so it's like 9pm while it’s 3pm here? wowee

i feel mega weird after watching this show called hollywood (darren criss is in it, so is laura harrier and a bunch of other people) but i don't like it💀 i feel really icky rn and idk why but reading your last response to my ask (?) always makes me feel better :')

i am doing what you said btw, i'm typing this on my computer first then gonna transfer it to my phone's tumblr lol but when you said a digital detox, it's interesting cuz i feel like i've been having one since tom's new project was announced? gOD i don't wanna get into it bc i get so triggered but i've been off of instagram since then bc instagram stans literally stand by tom through whatever even when something ain't right- i’m just gonna leave it there bc i’ll continue the rant, but yeah so i took a break lol

also heard abt your driving lesson thing (?) was it that bad? i can't find the old post but someone asked if you hooked up with your lesson person and i was sOOO CONFUSED LMAOO LIKE OK ARIA GET SOME BUT UHH HUH?

now to address the actual response HAHA the way you touch my heart :') by :') bringing :') up :') halle :') being ariel :') (i honest to God don't remember if i brought this up first, forgive me if i did, it's been a minute lmao) i'm always talking about it and i'm pretty sure my family is so tired of me talking about it lmao, but YEAH when i found out they weren't twins i was so surprised but idk why i always thought they were twins? but YOU ARE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE WITH THE DISNEY TALK- everyone is always like "tiana is my favorite princess" and yea she's strong and stuff but...... she was a frog. for almost the whole time. it's about time we got another one!! i do agree with some people on the fact that disney should just make another black princess but halle is adorable and i was ariel on stage so it's already really special to me :')

yeah lol there are good times with my brothers but they make me mad for a good portion of the time (there's the 12yo vincent and the 7yo daniel but vincent??? psshhh he is a piece of work and i'm not sure how much longer i can put up with him HAJAH AND YES VINCENT IS THE ONE WHO WAS 👁👄👁WHEN I CRIED AND THE ONE WHO DOESN'T LISTEN TO MUSIC- writing this now makes it sound like vincent is awful. which he isn't... we're working on him ig. not to add to the awfulness but no, he listens to obnoxious loud VIDEO GAME MUSIC and won't stop when we ask him to stop... he gets beat up a lot) anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌

yeah let me know if you end up watching it (wandavision)! i think it's great but if you like it lmk!! tfatws is sooo good like PHEW i am honestly loving it. sidenote: j*hn w*lker makes me wanna jump through the screen and choke him to the ground. i was thinking right, and the falcon and the winter soldier (THATS SO MUCH EASIER FAJHKDAH) would techinally be like a 10 hour movie right? because every episode is an hour long and there'll be 10 episodes? like wow. i get what you mean though, abt the racism in the show etc, like looking forward to it but not like..... no i get what you mean i will not try and give another example lol but you make me wanna learn more languages like really badly (bc of what you said about the german to american translation) & if you end up watching hamilton PLEASE LMK ABT THAT TOO HAHAHA i love it so much, same thing with lion king lmaoo

speaking of germany, i was at lunch on saturday with my mom and her friend and we were talking about my schooling and like-- she planted this idea in my head lol like what if i just got my GED and went around the world (to england probably) to get a theatre experience??? and i think it sounds so cool but no where near practical lol, it's just..... the dream haha and i would then try and learn a language 😉

uh yes we absolutely should order basically a resturant meal at a cinema, how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?

also about cherry (which i still haven't watched yet lol) i got the timestamps from tumblr😌 i couldn't find them anywhere else, but i agree, i probably wouldn't even look twice at cherry if tom wasn't in it? like i liked tdatt a lot, but it's not a movie i would be itching to see ya know?

HAHAHAHA THE 24 HOUR NOTIFICATION- i think i have around 1030 hours on sims? but i've had it since 2019 lmao (reading the screenshots, yes u are 100% a genuis, i take screenshots too but on anon you can't upload them so i just read them and retype what i wrote lmao) i think the university experience in the game is fun, but time consuming and it's all work imo. idk why i do it so often tho 😭😭😭

and agreed!! when you're making good money in the game you have to find other ways to make it interesting. my cousins who play it just continously do "motherlode" and i'm like.... then what do you do in your game?? it just sounds boring to me... my current sims household, i had a famous comedian sim, her name was dylan, aND SORRY IM LAUGHING SO HARD WHILE WRITING THIS BC ITS A GREAT EXAMPLE OF THE UNI THING UNLESS IM JUST DUMB, she went to college for communications when i wanted her to be a comedian and when she graduated i realized that degree did nothing for the career 🥲 so yeah, i think i'm just dumb. but she had a kid in college, guy didn't stick around and she was pretty broke HA but then she got married to this (great) guy named steve, made good bank, had 5 more kids (two sets of twins and one more lol) but then she passed. uhm... yeah that's still an open wound . lol i'm kidding, but when you get rich like that, you have to find a way to make the game interesting and i chose a million kids.

(this was one giant paragraph until i broke it up uhh yeah) i seriously don't pay attention to the sims prices and just end up spending way too much money and not being able to finish the rest of the house😭 but then again, i'm so used to having sims live in apartments... if i end up building a house FIRST OF ALL it'll look like what you explained before lmao but i'll tell you if i actually end up building a house HAHA & planning out your sims game is so fun to me lol, did enisa and michael take in his daughter yet? i may be thinking too far ahead lol and i love that they fucked woohooed (i say woo woo lol) in celebration HAHA but when i was playing with this one couple i had them woo woo every night hoping the dude would have horrible pull out game and they would concieve, but one night they were too tired and i was like why? get back in there man. if i was in college and lived with my partner we would be fucking every night homie. be grateful. i have been talking a lot about sims, and like you said: enough 💀 i just love this game a lot 😭😭

SORRY LAST THING i think the sims romantic and sexual stuff is so nice bc its what i want?? LMAO IDK like the whole hot tub thing you're talking about- puh lease ITS JUST NICE TO SEE OKAY

i'm reading the german section over again and i said aloud "my german friend is so cool" lol (i was saying that to my brothers & i know they don't care LMAO) (& i'm glad the uni zoom call went well!!) so on a form, in german, it could possibily say Einführungsveranstaltungsteilnehmer because you would be a participant to an introductory event? i swear german sounds so cool 😌 but i love reading your german lessons!! it's really interesting, most of the time my brain can't comprehend it tho?? like that word makes sense to you, but i need a translation. like to be able to look at that and know what it says.... its just appealing and seems so cool lol i kinda wanna write something out in german but i feel that google translate will fail me. während googeln "google übersetzen" mein Computer war so verdammt langsam und es fühlte sich einfach wie etwas Gutes auf Deutsch zu sagen. ich bin nicht sicher, welches Wort ist "fucking", aber ich mag es lmao (did it fail me like i thought it would??)

LMAOOO THANK YOU FOR BRINGING UP JUSTIN BC WHILE AT THE RESTURANT THEY PLAYED A JUSTIN SONG AND I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF YOU AND THIS STORY😭 lol i was thinking it's depending on your age but not even that either... i really don't know.... but tom's fans are hollanders💀 i would consider myself one? he's the only person i'm really into like that (like a lot lol) so idk lmao (directioners 💔💔the pain is real)

LMAOOO (both of these paragraphs started off with “lmaooo” smh) "i like my men when they look like they are on the brink of death" PLEASE, i don't like pete's blonde hair... i just don't. i'm not sure if i wasn't watching the most recent snls but yea. my mom thinks he looks like trash, but i think he's okay? like he said staten island people just look like trash LMAO and I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN KING OF STATEN ISLAND GIRL I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT!! now i'm gonna make plans to watch it lmao, & yes agreed i find pete hot, don't ask why i really couldn't explain it to someone he's just .

my favorite songs from rex are from pony oh my goodness 🥺 anywho i'm gonna go eat cereal (i ended up eating bun and cheese instead) and listen to the Stormzy songs you recommended... aria. aria aria aria. i would like to thank you for introducing me to stormzy i- i don't have any words or any emojis to express HOW GOOD STORMZY IS. i hope he's popular in germany/the uk because i haven't heard of him but GURLLLL

one second - delicious i love it. it's really good. it’s not my favorite from the album, but its great.

superheroes - at first i played the non-explicit one (on accident) and wondered why the words weren't playing but i was reading them in the lyrics??? THIS ONE THOUGH??? IS THE BEST SONG I THINK I'VE EVER HEARD. i am so SO SO into black people empowering songs (like brown skin girl by beyonce) and this song???? PHEW I CRYYYYY ITS SO GOOD.... i was gonna quote some lyrics BUT THERS TOO MANY I LOVE, "i am young, black, beautiful, and brave" "black queen, you're immaculate, it's coming at the world, they ain't ready for your magic yet, and that was never your fault" THAT WAS NEVER YOUR FAULT- I ALMOST CRIED THIS SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL (i played it twice lol)

lessons is another beautiful one, like its slow and it feels intimate and nurturing and just OO chefs kiss, beautiful . like you can feel the apology and the regret... it’s so good

own it - OWN IT OWN IT OWN IT IS AMAZING!! swear you would catch me dancing to this song, this song is so fucking good i cannot comprehend like this one might be my favorite for real... "it's the way you wind up your waist, i'm so in awe, you never have to worry abt nothing, you know its yours, you know you own it" 🥲 i played it two or three times honestly

rachael's little brother - YES I DID LISTEN TO IT LMAO AND YES I LIKE IT, its a very complex song and it's very layered in terms of emotions i think and i really like that about it. i probably won't listen to it that often, but its really good. i would recommend this song to my "older brother" bc he would just absolutely love this

shut up - i was taking this song seriously (also very good) until i heard him say shu-T up LMAO, this one is good, i probably wouldn't listen to it 24/7 like rachael's little brother but honestly its still fire

before listening to blinded by your grace and vossi bop, i know you brought up the religion bit, i definitely don't mind that, especially because i'm Christian lol and i actually liked that he brought up God in some of his songs like idk i just like it🥰🥰

(i then went to bed after that lol but first thing in the morning i listened to superheroes and... that song is probably my favorite tbh, i was gonna write MORE quotes that i loved from it but, yeah no there's too many. if you want i'll tell you lmao but this is already so long i would just be quoting the whole friggin song)

VOSSI BOP IS A BOP (lol) I CANT EVEN LIE, i love a song that hypes up a dude's girl so the line- i love that my phone decided to fail to load the lyrics, lemme google it, okay the lyric "looking at my girl like what a goddess" i was like AYEEE its honestly just really good. and no one in america says "sauce" like "i've got the sauce" but now i do (thanks to love island and Nas from last season) and now stormzy so (also im gonna watch the music video for superheroes bc it looks great so 😛)

(because this is already so long i feel like i shouldn't finish the rest but . no i'm gonna do it)

now for blinded by your grace pt2 idk why i’m nervous lmaoo PAUSE I'M NOT EVEN DONE WITH THE SONG GIRL THIS SONG IS *chefs kiss* no words, speechless PHEW y'all gon make me start jumping around. why did i not know about stormzy before, he is amazing i- ok yeah i finished the song, all i have to say is that Stormzy is immaclucate. period. i am literally sending his music to all my friends he is..... amazing

you want my song recommendations 🥺🥺 hmm uh okay lol i listen to a lot of old music, whitney houston, marvin gaye, queen, celine dion, i love "more than words" by extreme uhmm okay, but for actual music i listen to on the daily? (this is a lot of different music like.... they do not go together lmao so be prepared) a song about being sad by rex orange county, betty by taylor swift and lover by taylor swift and... most of that album lol, treasure by bruno mars lmao, OOOO and versace on the floor by bruno as well, lazybaby by dove cameron, creep by tlc has been on repeat lol, deja vu by olivia rodrigo (i saw what you said about drivers license and AGREED LMAO but i like deja vu a lot more haha) and two albums that i listen to in general, rare by selena gomez and ungodly hour by chloe x halle 🥰 you don't have to listen to all of them or any of them lol but that's a sense of what i'm into :) so basically everything haha, i'm into literally every single kind of music really so i wasn't too surprised that i enjoyed stormzy :’)

HAHASBSJHAHA your h20 story cracked me up,, like "wow these actors are so dedicated, learning german just for us" 😭 the beauty of overdubbing

once again, math and maths, in my mind maths makes sense because its mathmatics, but saying maths doesn't feel right to me lol, like if i said maths i feel like everyone would look at me like ??? and yea i was taught it as math so its just more natural for me. but yes math/maths is disgusting, easily one of my least favorite subjects so .

mkay. i- the first time i read this i could not contain my laughter when you said the only pollen you know is sex pollen LMAOKOOSHBABJFAJF STOPPP I'M EVEN LAUGHING WRITING THIS,, anyway. wow! that's interesting, my dad (<<< mostly anything else) gets migraines from the sun and the heat and stuff, yesterday (sunday, i was outside for like hours watching my brothers play football, the american kind lol) i was in the sun for like ever and i got a headache😔

summer clothes🥲 i need to go shopping fr fr. for my birthday my mom and dad got me a giftcard like dedicated to a shopping spree and we've yet to go so..... i should bring it up to my mom lol, but!! i went bra shopping (ended up returning literally all of them cuz they honestly didn't work for day to day work? its a long story) and if i could i would walk around in this new "summer bra" i got, i would. it's so fricking cute and its really light fabric (which isn't perfect for my nipples but still) so i don't get hot in it, but that bra and some shorts would be perfect. its the closest thing to being naked so

IS THE BIRD STILL BOTHERING U ARIA, TELL ME NOW ISTG, i laughed really hard that the bird isn't stupid and is really trying to torture you LMAOO like i was rolling, it wants you to suffer, badly

when you said "mensus" it was still close to mens!!! latin speaking queen 😌😌

okay STORYTIME i was reading back your response and started (fake) crying bc i love you lol and my youngest brother (daniel) gon say "oh man, catherine's crying about something we don't care about, again" I--- i swear when i tell you about them they sound awful, but they aren't that bad, just the stuff i say about them is sounds really mean LMAO

but the thing you said about being kind, same, what i always say is: don't be the person that makes people say "i hate people" ya know? like there's no reason to be a jerk or anything.... but its true 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you are really kind and every time i talk to you i would like to personally fly to germany and give you a hug 💖💕💞💗💓💝💖💘

& i'm gonna show my stretch marks some love bc of you 🥺😭 i really hate how men have basically everyone conditioned that you can't love your own body </3 fuck them, y'all beautiful :')

also thanks for what you said :')) you literally are the kindest, sweetest person i think i've ever spoken to and i love you 🥰🥺🥲💓💗

READING YOUR TAGS HAHAHHAHA the spelling errors makes everything so much funnier. once again, i like your german lessons & yea!! i'm gonna play sims after writing this hahah

#catherine's tags are back #i don't think i've told you my name before?? #anyway it's catherine🥰🥰🥰 #i'm typing this on my computer (without emojis) and if i didn't edit this you would be reading shit shite like #heartface and pout and cry LMAO #yeah abt the tattoos #some stuff with my parents i'm like deal with it??? lol #my mom tells me "if there's something you enjoy or you like but i don't have the same opinion on it... why would my (my mom's) opinion matter? #and i love that #like i'm not gonna go and do whatever i want #but if my mom doesn't like that i swear (which isn't true just an example) #its like okay.... #but whatever #and your tattoo ideas sound really cute!! #and yeah @ your parents, i mean you aren't getting something wild #and the tattoo album>>> #i'm gonna look up ariana's butterfly tattoos just so i know what you mean lol #but i'm guessing you don't want something so incredibily simple, but not super like over the top? #correct me if i'm wrong lol #LMAO the tags were in order don't worry ! #and yeah lol ily2 <33 #and once again, again, sorry for this post JSHJS ITS A MESS AND LONG AS HELL #and you don't need to go in order of my post its literally longer than your german compound words #u're fine #also !!! while writing this the birds were chirping outside and i was like 😳 #and one of your fics (i’ve read all of them, i don’t remember lol) that valentine’s day one where y/n had lingerie on (the pancake one lol) #inspired me to buy lingerie #like when i look back on me “growing up” #that fic & basically you lol really helped with that #that made no sense and i don’t know how to make it make sense... but... yeah. like ily

hiiiiiiiiiii <3333

Dear catherine, 😌

(you have said your name before, but it wasn‘t like an introduction or anything i think you were talking about .... was it possibly the incident at the cinema??? And you said something like ‘calm down catherine‘ like you were telling yourself to calm down idkd dkdkkdkd anyway i didn‘t mention it cause i wasn‘t sure if it was an accident or not dkdjd but now i know 😌❤️ Catherine is such a cute and lovely name btw omg and so are your brothers‘s names 🥰

Sorry that I‘m answering this so late, it‘s been an emotional rollercoaster for me since last week but i‘ll get to that in a second lol

Sksklssk girl i haven‘t played sims in like 2 weeks now ekejdkdlldld ok that‘s not that long at all actually but i keep wanting to play but then i end up not playing for whatever reason, so no news about my sims game 😔 but i love the names Liam and Peter and for twins!!! That sounds really nice actually

okay i‘m trying to answer your ask in chronological answer even though i wanted to wait for the depressing stuff and write it at the end or something OKAY so. i thought that i‘d feel so good when i start uni and that i‘ll like... have a purpose in life again and just be happy (cause in the last year i didn‘t do much and i was depressed like half of the time lol).... anyway i kind of feel even worse now? 😭 i think it‘s because in my brain it‘s like: university!!! that means your life will change and it‘ll all be so exciting. and don‘t get me wrong it is exciting butttt..... idk the online thing is so weird cause you‘re not meeting any new people (i‘m introverted anyway but still lol) and it doesn‘t feel like you‘re listening to/talking to actual people cause it feels the same as just watching a video?

also i thought i‘d be busy again but i only have one lecture (90mins) a day and theres one day where i dont have any lectures at all and just one day where i have 3 hours but.... idk i mean i shouldn‘t complain about having so much free time but i just don‘t know what to do all day and in a pandemic there really is nothing to do but i also can‘t relax bc it‘s like during the week and i know i have uni the next day and .... yeah.

There‘s also this one assignment i had to do that took me AT LEAST SIX HOURS AND IM NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING????? so that was the only thing i‘ve been doing besides “going to“ lectures. for this one course we have to read two (really really long) texts (like it literally took me 3 hours to read them) and we‘re supposed to post it on this website that all the professors in our uni use. So after 5 days of anxiety (✌🏼) i posted mine this morning bc last night i realised that i didn‘t even know why i was having anxiety so i just posted mine today. The deadline is tomorrow at 12 and no one except me has posted theirs yet........ so i have anxiety again 🥰 cause idk if i‘m the only one who did it or if i even did it correctly

Edit while i‘m rereading this: my anxiety about uni is a lot better and i‘m not as d*pressed anymore maybe it was just hormones? idk but i‘m better so that‘s good

(I started writing this like 5 hours ago and then i randomly completely forgot lol)

I‘m in a better mood now though so let‘s move on from that (oh wait also, i think i‘m gonna see if i can find a psychiatrist bc with my anxiety symptoms (long story) i need to go to a psychiatrist, and so far i‘ve only gone to like psycholgists and it didn‘t help but i think that‘s just bc i was meant to go to a psychiatrist and not a psychologist so dldjdjsj

n e ways but yes you‘re not alone, ily, things will get better and yes i love you (i‘m not good at this type of thing🥲 but i‘d hug you right now if i could <3)

Yess i think the time difference between est and me is 6hours but gmt is uk time i believe? i think mine is called.... cet? For central european time? I could be completely wrong though lmao

Oof i completely forgot about hollywood, i remember when laura kept posting about it on instagram but i never actually watched it and i definitely won‘t now lmaodkdksjsn

Okay my driving lesson LEBDJDKDK I DID NOT HOOK UP WITH ANYONE AKSJSKSMMLM especially not my 40 or 50 year old driving instructor lol i like her but NOT LIKE THAT, the lesson was really really really good actually and i think i‘ll have my driving test soon, but i don‘t even remember why the anon would have thought that??? Oh wait now i remember okay KEKSKDLDL so during the lesson my instructor was like do you mind if i turn on some music? AND THIS WOMAN TURNED ON ONE DIRECTION I LOVE HER so i made a post about it and i said something about the song up all night and i guess i phrased it in a .... idk in a dumb way 💀 so the anon made a joke that i stayed up with my driving instructor all night and NO. No.

Wait did i read that right? YOU WERE ARIEL ON STAGE? SIALDBDJDKSLMSBDKDMDMDKDJSLSMDJFJJEDMBFEKLEFBJDLDVSIDLESKSKWKDKDJDOWNYUEKWNDUWLNSUFLWVSUDLEHDOENSIDBEISBEHENJELBSIEMWUDNRIW KB WOBE JO ON SBEUU HIII S HWS LV W ICH US KB okay this keyboard smash is getting out of hand but uh please do elaborate on that 💘😌???? Like you can‘t just drop that information and not say more??? I forgot if you‘re in like your school‘s drama group (is that a thing? lol idk anything about acting) or in an independent group? Either way - ARIEL that is so fucking cool

Your brothers loooooool, no i get it though obviously you love them and stuff but esp at their age children are so annoying so good luck with them 😭😭😭lmao

Yeah “anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌“ yeah just me and my parents who constantly fight 🥰 lmao no i like being an only child, like i cannot imagine having siblings but i feel like if i had siblings i would be saying that i can‘t imagine being an only child so? but i do think it‘s quite different like i‘m trying to imagine having siblings and WHAT that‘s just so different omg i‘ve never really thought about it like properly ???

I saw a tik tok the other day that was like “sometimes i forget that my siblings have a life of their own. like i see them as side characters in my life“ and even though i can‘t relate obviously i felt that. lol, like i can really imagine how it feels idk what i‘m talking about like shut the fuck up, daria

(also my actual name is daria not aria but i dont like it, and also i wanted to be more anonymous on tumblr so now i‘m aria lmao. pls don‘t mention it though cause no one knows except for you and mel (peterbenjiparker) dkdkdkdnkdnd. but i‘m starting to identify with the name cause everyone keeps calling me that looool😭😭😭 (but i like the name, more than daria anyway? well it also depends on the accent, cause the way germans say daria is okay. the was Americans say it is also okay, but some of my family in England are from the north of england and i don‘t like how they say my name 💀 no offence to them(?) but yeah pls don‘t mention the name in your ask cause the chance of people seeing it is higher then (or if you want to say something about it just send a separate ask and i just won‘t post it (IDK what you‘d want to say about my name but yeah just in case slsldlldmsndnsns)

I‘m loving falcon and winter soldier so much but when i was watching an episode the week before last week (?) my laptop broke😭😭😭😭 during the scene where the dora milaje came at the end my laptop just shut down? And it had these lines all over the screen and i had to bring it to the shop where i bought it and they said it‘ll take 6-8 weeks to repair 💔💔💔 but at least it‘ll be for free, cause if i brought it back to apple it would cost like 400€ (i think that‘s nearly 500$) so yeah. but it sucks cause now i‘m “going to uni“ on a really old rusty laptop and on my phone which kinda sucks. oh yeah and also i can‘t watch anything on there 😭 i definitely want to watch wandavision but it‘ll have to wait🤧

Yessss you should def get your GED! I googled and I‘m still not entirely sure what it is dldks but from how you described it- YES!!!!!!

Idk if you know this? Like no idea if I‘ve told you this already (hmmm wait i feel like we talked about it actually?) anyway i was originally gonna go study in England, but for loads of reasons I ended up staying in Germany and I‘m def happy with my decision, but I definitely want to go to England sometime even if it‘s just for six months or maybe for my masters or something? And (obviously everyone is different) but i think everyone should go abroad and live in a different country once in their life, no matter if it‘s for school or what, and even if it‘s just for a few weeks. But i think that‘s something that you‘d never ever forget! And combining that with your acting/theatre??? You really would be living the dream 💘💘😌

how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?— sounds good see you soon 🥰🥰🥰

i used to be one of the people who‘d just do motherlode motherlode motherlode and just... what did i do? Why did i do that??? But not anymore lol. Like I said i haven‘t played sims in a few weeks but i‘ve been watching a few legacy challenge let‘s plays and usually i play with the aging off. So my sims just don‘t age 💀 but i could (should) turn aging on so that it stays exciting and i have limited time and everything. and once i get bored with my current sims i can just make them have kids and continue playing as their children when they get older- like recently i remembered that i haven‘t played the acting career in ages? and i haven‘t had a shop in ages? and i think you can even become a vet right??? like those are definitely some things i want to do in the next weeks!!! Also yes sksksjs i have a few hundred hours on sims as well (if not thousands 😭) it was just that one household that i‘d been playing with for 24hrs

AND GIRL SSKSKJD THE UNIVERSITY THING HAPPENED TO ME TOO, it was a while ago so i don‘t remember what degree and what job it was about but i made my sim study something for aaaaaages so she‘d get a better job from the beginning (you know what i mean like get in at a higher level)...... and i apparently studied the wrong thing cause i didn‘t get any benefits from studying and still had to start at level 1 and shit 🥴🥲

Oh also (this was like 2 weeks ago) Enisa and Michael did take in Michael‘s daughter and i think Enisa currently even has a higher/better relationship with the daughter than Michael but um💀💀💀 also i was hoping (since michael and enisa married (in their back yard i think lol) that the daughter (i forget what her name is😭) would have enisa as her step mom? Like you know how you can see the relationship and it says daughter or son or sister.. and i was hoping that it would say step mom but it doesn‘t say anything 🥲 but in my mind (and if the sims had proper family relations) she is her step mom😌 also Leo is a teenager now???? I mean I aged him up lol dkdk he was being too annoying as a toddler but i don‘t like children so i aged him up twice in one day and now he‘s a teen, but that means he can look after his half sister when she becomes a toddler which is good (the game recognises them as siblings tho even if they‘re just half siblings? why can‘t they have step family members in the sims🥲) okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

I‘ve been a bit sick these past few days and now i‘m getting a headache so i have to finish this response tomorrow 😭😭😭 </3

.

It‘s not tomorrow, it‘s 3 hours later but i‘m better lol

oooff when sims are ungrateful and won‘t woo woo (lol i like that) cause they‘re too tired like?? Be grateful that you‘re not living with your parents anymore 🙄 no okay dkdkdkdl idk if you play with mods (i don‘t) but i know there is a mod (or it‘s part of a mod idk maybe wicked whims?) where you can adjust the percentage of how risky a normal woo woo is, like you still click woo woo (3dksksks okay i‘ll say woohoo again— wait is that what’s it called? 😭) but there‘s like a 25% chance that your sim can still get pregnant just like in real life there‘s always a chance of getting pregnant even if you‘re using protection (just not 25% lmao) but yeah i personally don‘t play with mods sksk and you can always just click try for baby but it would be cool if you could add stuff like risky woohoo to the game without mods (i have no idea how to download mods and i play sims on a really really old laptop and sims is literally tje only thing that works on it anyway so—) i repeat my words from earlier: okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

okay i‘m so sorry i‘m gonna watch fast & furious 1 now cause i need to watch f&f 1-5 until the 30th of april cause they‘re only on netflix til then (i mean i could watch them somewhere else but the quality is never as good) so i will finish this tomorrow after all😭

it is now 1 am, i finished the film, can feel a new obsession coming up again (i always have these f&f obsessions for six months before and after a new film comes out)

THE GOOGLE TRANSLATE wkekdjdj tbh it sounds like someone is speaking with some kind of foreign accent i guess that‘s probably because it just is a direct translation and so anyway slsjsj i don‘t know if you asked me what the word fucking is in german? like idk cause the translation is a bit weird but in case you asked lol sidjsjs theres not really a good translation like we just say fuck for fuck lmao, i don‘t know if you typed in fucking in google translate and it came out as verdammt? cause that means damn (or damned sksjjs) ummm yeah idek if/what you asked so imma move on🤧

I‘m not gonna comment on what you said about every stormzy song cause you already said all the important things but SKSKSJSJSKNSNDBDUDOENWBSLSKKHSULSLSKSBSJSKSK I WAS SMILING SO HARD WHEN I READ YOUR RESPONSE FOR THE FIRST TIME BECAUSE AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH finally i know someone who loves him as much as i do 💘💘💘 also since you brought it up, i‘m pretty sure he‘s considered the most successful UK rapper or if not then at least top 3 so he‘s defffffffffinitely big in the uk, in germany more and more people are listening to uk rap too but not as much stormzy cause theyre dumb apparently 🙄 but anywY i‘m sooooo sooo happy that you like him. i think hith came out end of 2019 (i could be wrong but i think it came out on the 13th of december so (in a european way) you‘d write the date: 13.12 and obviously i don‘t KNOW this but i can definitely imagine that he chose that date because ACAB and yes, Michael. Yes. But he hasn‘t made too much music since then so i hope he‘s working on some new stuff 🤞🏼

Also i ordered the stormzy poster😌 also a nicki minaj one bc i decided i‘m gonna have one wall with red-ish posters (i already have two kinda red ones) and one with blue/green-ish posters (already have two) and i can add stormzy to the blue one and nicki to the red one, but i think that‘s it cause if my walls are tooo full it could look cluttered? I‘m not sure how that type of thing works lmao but my room is generally untidy so i don‘t want the walls to look unorganised too so i think that‘s it for now

I really want to finish this now but my brain is getting kinda slow and i need to sleep soon so this will have to wait till later after all 🥺🥴 (not that it makes and difference to you bc you‘ll see this whenever i post it buttttt i wanted you to know that i want to talk to you again but with my slow brain i‘m just taking too long to do it in one day😭😭😭 and i‘m so busy tomorrow hmm but i‘m sure i‘ll have 30 minutes to finish this then <3)

Okay wait I‘m so dumb I didn‘t realise I‘d nearly answered everything i could have posted this yesterday 😭😭

Oooohh that summer bra sounds so nice like if i was confident enough i literally would just wear a top that resembles a bra (or really is a bra lol) cause my tiddies always be looking amazing i‘m just insecure about my stomach sometimes 🙄🙄🙄 but recently i‘ve been loving myself more and more tbh 😌

also i hope you can go shopping for some nice clothes soon ✨😌

I‘ll be honest I haven‘t listened to your song recs YET but only because i wanna take my time with them and i‘ve been so busy and slso AJ tracey‘s album came out last week and I haven‘t listened to that one yet either so ekdkdj (he‘s also a uk rapper like quite popular and successful as well, but i feel like i‘m not gonna like his album cause whenever i‘m looking forward to an album it ends up being really bad and the albums where you weren‘t expecting it turn out to be bangers.... so yeah but i‘ll let you know when i listen to your songs!!!! :)

Omg i keep having to scroll up all the way to see the next thing you said so sorry if I completely miss some of the things you said😭😭

So when you sent this the bird was still bothering me oh my FUCK DKDLDMMDMDMD but now i‘ve been going to bed at like 1-2am so the bird is probably still asleep lool

Okay and for the rest of your ask my response is: 💘💖❣️💚❣️💛❣️💛💕💞❤️💓💟💞💕💕💖💘💝💟💟🧡❤️🧡💞💛💚💓💚💚💚❣️🧡💖💘🧡💝🧡💕💘🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥰🥺🥺💘💘💘💘💘 (okay that looked cuter in my head i don‘t really like the green hearts dldkkdksndnd)

[apenapaperandadoofus]

college au (spicy)

Yoosung x MC? 👀

Oop I see you there nonny :0

MM college AU (Yoosung x MC) nsfw-ish wink wonk

Warnings: uhhh lote of fluff and also sum drinking so uh yeah (idk if I should put it as a warning but there ya go anyway, just in case!)

You bitterly congratulated yourself as you looked at the text message you just received from your classmate.

Basically you had overslept, playing games too late at night(or should we say morning? You went to sleep at 4am and your class was at 7!) You didn't hear your alarm and basically missed your first day of class!

To be fair, you had planned on going to sleep at 12, but all of a sudden this bastard stole your loot and you wanted v e n g e a n c e

Sadly you weren't able to find the guy and had to cool off by playing a few rounds of LOLOL and just massacring the enemy team. Still, you swore to get back that amazing item you had just received.

The thing was, the first day of class, your professor had actually given everyone a group project! Yes, he was one of those teachers -_-

Since you hadn't been there you weren't able to group with your friend, and you had gotten paired up with people you didn't really know. You weren't super good at making friends, so you were getting a bit nervous, and you also didn't want to loose the whole percentage of the work, since you did have to get good grades!

A few weeks later, the group (who had already made a group chat a few days after you missed class, there were a total of five people with you included) and you all decided to meet at the coffee shop near the campus to talk about the project. It was due in two days, and you already had most of your part of the work done thankfully! We stan being responsible (a/n says the procastination queen LMFAO SORRY)

When you made it to the coffee shop, you only saw a total of two people there. One of them was a plain looking dude, with brown hair wearing some purple glasses, and the other one was a blonde boy who immediately made you think of a golden retriever! The two guys looked up at you, with the blonde one immediately standing up and introducing himself.

"Hi! Uhm, my name is Yoosung! Yoosung Kim! Nice to meet you!"

Oh my goodness he's adorable... though where have I heard that name before...?

You introduced yourself and told him your name, replying that it was nice to meet him too!

As you sat down beside him, you couldn't help but sneak glances in his directions. He was very very cute, his purple eyes looking all happy and excited all the time. Yet sometimes you could see a hint of.... hopelessness. You wondered why.

It turned out, that the other group members had suddenly called in sick, or said they had a family emergency. Not only that, but the plain guy with glasses gave you both an usb and mumbled that he actually had to go somewhere else today, but that he had his part of the presentation done and was in the usb.

Of course that did not make any of you happy at all. Yoosung looked as if he was about to either cry or punch someone, maybe both, and you werw mad that your teammates were so useless. But you tried to stay positive, I mean hey, now you get to spend time with the cute guy alone!

The two of you seemed to be the only ones to have done any work, the glasses dude's presentation was....let's just say wrong information and a white background with a yellow sans font. No I'm not joking.

"AGHHH this is impossible! How are we going to get all this work done in two days!? This is three people's part of the project, and it's not exactly short! Were gonna be here all afternoon!" Yoosung sobbed, as he covered his face and laid his head on the table.

"H-hey it's alright! We can uh...we can do it! I'm sure it won't take that long!"

It did take that long.

In face, it was 3am when you finished and had to leave the place because it was closing, so you had to go to your room and finish it there.

As soon as you were done, you both let out a tired victory yell and you fell back on your bed.

"Oh,hey Y/N, could I borrow your computer for a second? I just gotta check something that can't really wait..."

"Sure!" You gave him a thumbs up and rolled on your side to face Yoosung who was probably checking his emails.

You were not prepared for the scream that he suddenly let out.

"YOOSUNG!? IS EVERYTHING ALRIGHT!?"

He flinched when he heard your voice and slowly got up from the chair, pointing a finger shakily in your direction.

"Y-you....y-y-you a-are....TortillasRock320?"

You immediately sat up upon hearing the username you had made when you were 13 suddenly being said. Then you nodded. "How...how do you know me...?"

Yoosung's face became paler and you could see him start fidgeting a little before he pointed at himself.

"S-Supeman...Y-Yoosung...."

You immediately let out a gasp, shocking the poor boy and you stood up. "YOU!! YOU STOLE ALL MY LOOT IN LOLOL!"

"IMSOSORRYIDIDNTMEANTOITWASANACCIDENTITRIEDGIVINGITBACKBUTYOUATTACKEDMEANDTHENIJUSTPANICKEDANDLOGGEDOFF."

"I...ugh....dammit. it just had to be you didn't it?" You rubbed your temples and then Yoosung looked up from the ground.

"U-uhm...I could give it back...and uh...maybe get you some food?"

"Food isn't gonna cut it, as much as I love it."

"W-well how about we go and eat in a few days f-for now and then uh...we couldddd....think of something else!" He looked at you with a big smile and who could say no to that face?

So you exchanged phone numbers. It was just meant to try and see whenever the two of you could meet up for some food, but then it became into LOLOL discussions, and just talks about everything and anything. He talked a out his family, his friends, and his struggled with school, with you eventually telling him about your struggles as well. Before you knew it, the two fo you were speaking every single day, at any hour, and you had found out so much about each other. Not only that, but you had eventually become attracted to him.

Finally, vacations came! And the two of you decided to celebrate it by going to a bar with your friends! But then the two of you left because there was too many people, so you bought some beer and went to a nearby internet cafe to play....you guessed it! LOLOL

The two of you had such an AMAZING time, taking shots everyone one of you got killed, or destroyed a tower, or killed one of the dragons, or....well eventually it was just you two drinking and playing.

When you were done it was about 1am, and the cafe closed so you decided to go to Yoosung's place to maybe play there. But then, as the two of you drunkenly made it up the elevator, you suddenly remembered that Yoosung owed you from stealing your loot!

"Hic! Y-Yoosung...l-listen to me y-you brat. You oweeee me a wishhhh."

"Huh?.....oh wait...yeah I d-do right? Bec- hic! Becauzeee I stole your loot last t-time right??"

"I k-know what I want. L-lets just go to y-your apartment first....hic!" You smiled evilly as you thought about what you would do.

You grabbed Yoosung's hand, and he led you towards his place. After laughing and fumbling with his keys for a solid 2 minutes, Yoosung managed to open his door! He mockingly bowed and said "Y-you firstttt~" which made you courtesy and giggle replying "Wh-what a gentleman!"

You waited for Yoosung to close the door, and then he turned around to look at you with a big smile on his face.

"S-sooo Y/N! What...what do you want me t-to do?" He asked.

You made your way towards him and smirked. Then before Yoosung could reply he let out a help as you grabbed him by the hair and made him kneel in front of you, in all fours. "Yoosung. I want you to be my....servant for a day. I want you to do anything I ask you to."

Yoosung gulped and shyly looked up at you, his entire face red. "I...I should? Anything?"

You chuckled. "Yes. You owe me remember? That was a pretty rare item, the one you stole for me. So you should....pay...for what you've done, don't you think so?" He slowly nodded and you pet his head. "Good boy~ Now how about we start by....you taking your clothes off."

Yoosung's eyes widened, but you tightened your grip on his hair and he slowly started undoing his shirt buttons. Then he looked up at you again. "U-uhm...Wh-what else should I do...?"

"Mmm how about you take your pants off now? And do it quickly Yoosung, we don't have all day."

He nodded and took his pants off, kneeling in the ground only in his boxers, and then, in the heat of the moment (you don't exactly knew what took over you) you pressed your foot between his legs, making Yoosung let out a surprised gasp.

"Oho~ You like this don't you? You're hard." You chuckled and pressed harder between his legs, and Yoosung let out a moan.

"I'm...ngh! S-sorry, I d-don't really understand why it's...it's like that uhm.. I'm sorry."

You chuckled and knelt beside Yoosung, cupping his face in your hands. "Yoosung you don't need to apologize. It must feel hot down there...how about we make you feel good?"

Yoosung became even redder, but he looked to the side and covered his mouth with the back of his hand, shyly nodding at you to continue.

You smiled and took Yoosung's underwear off, his member already hard, and slowly, you started licking the tip making Yoosung moan.

"MNGHHH! Y-Y/N!!!"

"Mhmm? What ish it Yoosung? Mmph..." You replied, looking up at him while having his member in your mouth.

"Y-you're....s-sucking...it! Ah! I- I'm....if you do it with your tongue like that...I'm going to...-mmmgh!".

He's adorable, you thought, as you sucked harder and harder. Soon, Yoosung reached his climax, and you mischievously smirked. "I'm glad you enjoyed it...now how about we go to the main course? I deserve to feel good too, you know?" You said, as you took your jeans and underwear off.

"H-huh?! N-no, wait I just ca-AHHHHN~"

Yoosung gasped as you slowly took him in, straddling him. You tangled your fingers in his hair while Yoosung gripped your hips, his hands trembling.

"I'm....I'm moving now, ok Yoosung?"

Yoosung moaned as you started grinding your hips against him, your hips moving quickly up and down on their own. You laughed and leaned your head back, making Yoosung look confusedly up at you.

"You're just so adorable Yoosung!....I really like you, you know?"

Yoosung stared at you, and then he quickly grabbed your head and pulled you in for a rough kiss.

"I...mhm...I've liked you...too...mmm...for a very...very long time...Y/N." He whispered between kisses. "Agh! Y-you suddenly tightened up, down there....mhm it...it feels really good." He said as he looked at you, his eyes teary and full of lust.

Goddamn this man.

"Yoosung...I...I like you too!" You felt your face heat up a bit, and Yoosung quickly pulled away to look at you. Then, he tightened his grip on your hips and quickly started moving up and down

"Y-Yoosung!!!! Y-you're moving t-too fast! Mhm!!! I can't!! Too fast! Too fast!"

"Y/N...Y/N...." He whispered, burying his face in the crook of your neck, as his thrust became faster and harder.

"I'm going to...." You gasped.

"M-me too! Let's...let's do it...together!"

You pulled Yoosung in for a kiss and the two of you moaned as you both reached your climax.

The two of you held each other for a bit, until Yoosung got cold and he carried you to his bed. The two of you kissed each other for a bit, before falling asleep.

The next morning you found Yoosung on the corner of his room, his ears all red while he hugged his knees.

"Uhm....Yoosung! Mor...ning...?"

He flinched as he heard you and then he slowly looked up. Before you could ask him what in the diddly darn heck his ass was doing in there, he got up and bowed.

"I'm so sorry!!! I'm sorry about, about yesterday I was drunk, and then I just got really excited and kept going even after you said it was too fast, and I also said all that weird stuff and I'm just, I'm really really sorry!!"

You were taken aback for a minute before you smiled and made your way towards him, making him look up at you. "Yoosung...you don't have to apologize for anything. I know we....we were a bit uh...well we were really drunk but... I still stand by everything I said yesterday. I do like you. I...I like everything about you Yoosung."

His face became red, bue eventually Yoosung slowly and shyly smiled at you. "You...you really do?"

"Yessir."

"Heh....I'm...I'm so happy Y/N...I really like you too!"

He cupped your cheek and the two of you slowly got closer and closer until your lips were touching in a chaste kiss. When you finished Yoosung chuckled, still red in the face. "So uhmm...does that mean we're a...couple now?"

You smiled and poked his cheek. "Yup! And there's no going back after this, you hear me?"

"Y-yes! Of course I'd never think of it!"

"Good! Now how about we go back to bed...and have a little fun hmm?~"

Yoosung smiled and pulled you towards him, smiling. "That doesn't sound too bad...and we're on vacation right now, so I don't see any reason we shouldn't stay in bed and do...that all day."

You laughed and Yoosung picked you up bridal style, gently throwing you in his bed and pinning you down.

The two of you officially became a couple that day! Yayyy!

Also btw you got an A- in the assignment so good work fellas ;)

The end!

[anti-the-glitch-bitch]

Into the Void

*This is my Dark/Anti horror story. There is no shipping of them or any Septiplier. There is such themes as blood, gore, torture, abuse and other things. If that’s not your thing then please move along. If it is your thing then I hope you enjoy. Please leave a comment on what you thing of it. I love comments.*

Word count: 2,480

"Mark Fischbach! You get your ass down here right now!" I yell at the top of my lungs, slamming the front door open at the same time. Mark was supposed to pick me up at the airport an hour ago, but he never showed up. I'm sure he probably got caught up in recording a video for his channel. I had texted and called him multiple times, but I never got a reply back. At times, being a Youtuber's friend can be frustrating. With a sigh, I turned to go back outside and start the arduous task of bringing my bags in. Before I can put even a foot out the door, I hear a loud thunk from upstairs and then barking.

A door slowly opens, and the barking gets significantly louder. I chuckle as a fluffy golden retriever runs down the stairs, straight at me, tail wagging a mile a minute.

"CHICA! How is the beautiful fluffy puppers?" I coo as I kneel down, so I can give her all the love she deserves. This is my first time ever meeting her, but Mark was always sending me pics and videos of her. So I'm pretty excited to get to love on her.

"Sorry, Bri. I..um..lost track of time." Mark's guilty voice comes from the stairs.

I look up and glare at him as he walks over to me. He scratches the back of his head as he gives me a sheepish grin. "You're lucky that Chica is sooo adorable. Otherwise, you would be in so much trouble! All you had to do was say you got held up. I would have understood, you ass!" I huff at him and go to grab my bags.

"So, are you saying I'm not adorable?" he gives me a fake pout as he throws his arm around my shoulder." Not when you leave me hanging at the airport with not even a call." I laugh as I hip bump him, causing him to stumble. I never could stay mad at him for long. His antics made me laugh too much for that.

"Well, since I'm off to such a bad start as a host. I'll get your bags." He grabs my two suitcases while I grab the smaller duffel bag.

Mark and I have been best friends since we were kids. We were neighbors when he lived in Ohio and became inseparable. We stayed super close until he moved to LA, and I stayed in Ohio. We texted and video chatted all the time, but it was never the same as being in person. When my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me, I was absolutely devastated.

We were a month away from getting married. I had come home from a work meeting and realized all his stuff was gone. No note. Nothing. I locked myself in my apartment for over a week, just lay in bed. I didn't eat. I barely slept. I cut contact with everyone. I was numb to everything, and I did nothing to stop myself from spiraling faster and faster down into the abyss of nothingness.

I guess Mark and his girlfriend, Amy, got worried because the next thing I know, Mark is banging on my door early one morning, hollering at me to open my damn door. I'm not sure who was more shocked. Me, at their sudden appearance or them, at my disastrous looks.

Two hours later, and I've had my first shower and meal in who knows how long. They sat with me and let me cry on their shoulder for as long as I needed. Well, Amy did. Mark just sat on the couch, looking super uncomfortable and trying super hard to cheer me up. After awhile, Mark's joking nature started to cheer me up, and Amy joined in, talking about all the antics their friends had gotten up to. It was almost midnight when I finally had them convinced that I was feeling tons better. Before they left, Amy had managed to get a promise out of me that I would come to LA and stay for an undefined amount of time.

I was hoping I could get away with only a few days, but Amy wouldn't hear anything of it and told me to pack for at least two weeks. Guess I really worried them if they wanted to keep me for that long. That was the reason why one short month later, I was hauling my things into their house.

I follow Mark upstairs to the guest bedroom and throw my bag on the bed. Next thing I know, Mark has me in a giant hug. I tense at first but quickly relax into it. "I'm so glad you came, Bri. I've been worried about you. I was afraid you might bail on me last minute." His voice is thick with emotions as he puts his chin on my head.

I shrug as I fight not to cry. "I thought about it a million times, but in the, end I knew it would do me some good. Plus, I just plain missed you. Your videos just don't do the real you justice." I pull myself out of the hug and look around as I realize someone is missing. "Where is Amy at? I thought she was gonna be here."

"Oh, she went on a girl's trip with Sean's girlfriend. They wanted some time to bond over girl things. They didn't say how long they would be gone, but I'm sure they'll be back before you leave." He gives me a mischievous grin. "That means you’re stuck with me for who knows how long."

I start laughing like a maniac as I think of all the pranks I can pull on Mark without retribution from both of them. "OH no. That means you'll be stuck with ME. Now, what's a girl gotta do to get some food around this joint?" I rub my hands together and lick my lips as I think about eating real food.

He grumbles jokingly about not signing up to be my personal chef as he makes his way to the kitchen. I'm just about to follow when I notice a weird, flickering shadow flit across the doorframe. I look around the room to see what might have caused it but don't see anything.

I must be really tired, I think as I shake my head and continue on my way to the kitchen.

"Here's the thing. I've been so busy trying to get videos done, so I can spend time with you, that I forgot to make a trip to the store. I've got stuff to make sandwiches, or we can order out?" He is definitely not guilty as he tells me this. I'm pretty sure he is using me as an excuse to get fast food by the smile on his face.

"Damn, Mark. You act like I showed up out of the blue instead of planning this visit for a month. Sandwiches will be just fine with me." I laugh as I push past him towards the fridge. Mark is helping me get all the stuff together when there is a knock at the door. Chica instantly starts barking and makes a beeline for the door. Mark looks at me very quickly with a super not guilty look. The look on his face has me instantly on guard.

"Bri, please don't be mad, but I might have told Sean that you are gonna be staying with me and that you are a huge fan of his. I talk about you all the time to him, and he wanted to meet you. His girlfriend is on that trip with Amy so he is also gonna be staying here for a bit." That shithead was dead. His fans are going to be so pissed cause I am about to murder this man.

I don't know how my body did it, but it felt like all the blood in my face went straight to my cheeks. I'm a very shy person when it comes to anyone that might even be remotely famous. My anxiety goes into overdrive, especially since I might have a small celebrity crush on the Youtuber known as Jacksepticeye.

"YOU FUCKING DID WHAT?!" I'm sure if my voice was an octave higher, I could have shattered glass. Mark is laughing his ass off at my reaction and starts walking towards the door. "DON'T YOU DARE OPEN THAT FUCKING DOOR!" I shriek in absolute panic.

That asshat is laughing so hard at this point that he has to lean against the wall to steady himself. Sean is apparently tired of waiting for Mark and decides to let himself in. "OI! Ya gobshyte going ta let me stand outside all day?" Sean makes eye contact with me as he says this before an unopened loaf of bread hits him directly in the face.

In my panic, my fight instincts kicked in, and I threw the 1st thing my hands came across. Luckily for Sean, it just happened to be bread. Then my flight instincts kick in. I give a horrified shriek, and I hightail it into my room with Mark's laughter following me the entire way. I close the door shut and rip the blanket off the bed. I then proceed to go to the closet, open the door, wrap the blanket around me and hide in the closet with the door shut.

I will become one with the Darkness if it's the last thing I do.

I'm only in the closet for about 10 minutes before Mark finds me. I'm no longer freaking out, but now the embarrassment is kicking into overdrive. "I live in this closet now. I can never leave. It is my home." I groan into the blanket.

"That was the funniest shit I've ever seen. My only regret is that I wasn't recording it." He chuckles as he pulls the blanket off my head. "You planning on hiding in here forever? I mean, it wasn't as bad as the time you met Daniel Cudmore." I groan even harder before I look up at him. " The difference between then and now is that Daniel didn't get A FACE FULL OF BREAD! This is the most embarrassing thing ever. I can never face him now. I hate you so much right now. This entire thing is your fault." I can only facepalm as my cheeks start heating up again. Mark chuckles as he shakes his head.

He briefly glances at the doorway and then back at me. He flops onto the floor just outside the closet door. "Sean thought it was funny...Well, once he got over the shock, that is. Come onnnnn. He came all this way from England just to meet one of my best friends. He can't do that if you hide away in here. He's just a regular dude that also happens to be a Youtuber. You'll never get over that weird celebrity shyness you have if you don't talk to him." he starts trying to yank the blanket off me.

"Ugh. Why do you have to bring logic into this? I can't help it if my stupid brain has to spazz out. Give me a few minutes to gather my courage. If I'm not downstairs in 15 minutes, then you can come get me like the barbarian you are." I laugh and try to yank the blanket back.

"You are such a chicken shit, I swear." He smiles and stands up. Before I can do anything else, he yanks the blanket super hard. It jerks me partially out of the closet, and I fall out, laying on my side. There is a familiar laugh close to the bedroom door that is neither mine nor Mark's. I immediately tense up and look at the doorway. Those blue eyes are the first thing I see. I overlook many other details except that cute Irish boi smile. Then I realize that Sean is standing in the doorway. Looking at me. I dive back into the closet while simultaneously yanking the blanket back in with me. I slam the closet door shut, and not even a second later, Sean and Mark are laughing hysterically.

Yuck it up, you assholes. I don't respond as I am now busy trying to make the floor more comfortable with the blanket. "You have to come out eventually, Bri. You can't stay in there all day." His voice gets farther away as he talks.

" I just need some time! Go play some video games or whatever shit you guys do together! I yell back at him.

There was no way in hell I was ever leaving this closet while Sean was here. I guess it's a good thing my phone is fully charged cause I'm going to need something to do in here. I get on YouTube and start watching my Darkiplier/Antisepticeye playlist.

I love Mark like a brother and would never be able to think of him any other way, but when he made that first video going full Darkiplier….I wasn't able to FaceTime him for two weeks because I would instantly think of Dark and start blushing. The first time I saw Anti's full appearance I completely fangirled. I must have watched the video on repeat a million times. What can I say? I love my bad boys.

I'm not sure how long I stay in the closet watching the videos but I feel myself start to get tired. I'm fighting sleep and losing badly. I'm just about to conk out when I feel a hand gently caress my cheek.

"You'll do just fine." a voice whispers to me as I fall unconscious.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #296

“reality’s a plague; we’re the medication”

How are you doing in this time of COVID19? Do you personally know anyone who is not taking COVID19 seriously? Tired of it. Don’t see an end to it. I know a bunch of dumbasses who don’t take it seriously at all. What do you think of TikTok? Have you jumped on it yet? Why or why not? I don’t have an opinion on it. What hobby or interest of your significant other do you have ZERO interest in? What about something you actually think might be fun or something you actually picked up thanks to them? If you don’t have an SO, you can think of a relative or friend as an example instead. No s/o, sooo I’ll use best friend instead. Tbh I can’t say I have ZERO interest in anything she likes… If it makes her happy, I’m thankful for it. To answer the second half, she definitely got me into Wings of Fire. Have you ever felt affected by the death of a celebrity or public figure? If so, who? Do you remember when you found out and what was your reaction to it? Steve Irwin comes to mind very quickly. I remember exactly who told me and where I was. I was heartbroken. He was my childhood hero. Did you ever get called horrible names like whore, skank, bitch? I’ve been called a bitch. I remember one occasion as a kid where I was called fat for breaking a swing, even though I was a normal size. The swing was just old. It affected me though, for sure. Where did you sleep last night? My bed. Ever slow danced with anyone? Yes. Who is the last person to send you a message on Facebook? The woman I took pictures for a few weeks back. She’s a sweetheart. Have you ever been given roses? Yeah. Ever been called babe/baby? Yeah. Who was the last person to smoke something other than a cigarette or weed in front of you? No one’s ever smoked anything else in my presence. Does anything on your body hurt? My knees. They pretty much always do. Who is your favorite family member on your mom’s side? My uncle Rob. Who was the last person you were under a blanket with? Sara. Which of your friends is the most likely to get pregnant right now? I feel like all of them that are “likely” literally are pregnant right now lmao. My Facebook is like a new pregnancy announcement once a week, it seems like. Have you ever been called prince/princess? Ew, no. Have you kissed anyone when you’re single? No. Have you ever kissed someone who was in a relationship? Nooo, I have no interest in being “that person.” What would you call your body type? Let’s not think about this. Has anyone ever hacked your accounts before? Yeah. Could you ever be friends with someone that broke your heart? I don’t think I could. Have you ever seriously hurt anyone by mistake? I don’t believe so. Have you ever dealt with a divorce or parents fighting or any kind of abuse at home? My parents fought all the time. Separated when I was… 17, I wanna say? Have you ever had any volunteer jobs? Ha. Attempts, anyway. Both were animal-related, and I was so excited to become a regular helper, but my weak-ass body couldn’t handle either. Has a boy/girl ever cheated on their boyfriend/girlfriend for you? I never actually thought of it this way, but yes. Flirting like that was absolutely cheating. Describe how you feel about your life in the past month using one word: Stuck. Are you feeling guilty about anything right now? I always have guilt nowadays. When was the last time you saw someone attractive? In person? Hm. I think a about a month back when I took family pictures for someone. The kids’ dad was pretty cute. Are you okay with the life you live? Nope. What other piercings would you get other than the ones you already have? Fuuuuck dude, I want a lot. Many more in my ears, dermals in my collarbones (the #1, ahhh, but I want to lose weight first so you can see the contrast), it’d be nice to have a nose ring that fucking stayed in, I would LOVE an undereye microdermal if I ever change to contacts again, sometimes I think about an eyebrow piercing if I kept my eyebrows thinner… man, there’s a lot. I just love body mod. Did your last kiss take place on a bed? No. Are you good at wrapping gifts for others? HEEEEEEEEEEEELL NO. Is your present hair color natural? Sadly yes. Do you follow a certain religion? No. Do you listen to any country music? Noooo. It’s so weird remembering that I loved it as a kid. Have you ever lived on a farm? No. Do both of your parents have jobs? Dad does, but Mom is currently on disability due to recovering from cancer. What is something you’ve always wanted a boy to do for you? Ummm. I dunno. What do you wish you had more knowledge about? Politics. Is there anyone you’re not over and feel like you never will be? I doubt I’ll ever be fully over him. But I feel it’s understandable. When’s the last time you were really late to something? Hm. Dunno. Do you sing a lot? I sing veeery rarely. Do you think you have an addictive personality? I have a very addictive personality, yes. What was the first television show you were obsessed with? Pokemon, easily. What are you planning on eating for dinner tonight if you haven’t already? I don’t know. When was the last time someone took your picture? *shrugs* Do you eat chili when you get a hotdog, or do you like it plain? I eat them with ketchup and mustard, not chili. Would you say it’s easy for people to make you smile or laugh? I’m unsure… but I lean towards no. Do you and your friends normally say you love one another? Hell yeah. I’m so for platonic “I love you”s. What was the worst news you’ve heard this entire week? I'm not sure about "worst," honestly. I've mostly just heard mild inconvenience type things. Have you ever been in a car wreck? Yes. Has anyone ever told you that they think you have ADHD? Actually, yes, by maybe my second psychiatrist. She was fucking looney; I could see ADD, but ADHD was ludicrous. Have you ever disowned anyone in your family? For what reasons? I cut off connections with my dad for years after the divorce. Is there anyone out there who has hurt you so much, you wish they’d die? Yeesh, no. How many times have you been drunk in your life? None. Are you a happy person? Not really. Have you cried yourself to sleep? Oh yeah. Have you been in trouble with the law/jail time? No. At what age did you become sexually active? Maybe like, 16 1/2? Have you been in a loving relationship? Yes. Have you been in an abusive/bad relationship? No. Who would you die for? Quite a large handful of people, really. Have you ever been in a gang? Nooooo thanks. Who do you dream about most? Annoyingly, Jason. When are you happiest? When I'm hyperfixated on a new interest. Do you answer the phone by saying anything besides "hello?" Not unless it's family, really. Then I'll just be like "hey" or "what's up?", something along those lines. Do you get mad easily? No. What is your favorite song right now? I'm pretty hooked on "ULTRAnumb" by Blue Stahli. Do you wear glasses or contacts? If you wear both, which do you prefer, and why? I wear glasses. I've worn contacts before, they're just too tedious for me. Would you rather be buried or cremated? Cremated, please. Ever done karaoke? Did you like it? No. Goriest movie you've ever seen? Probably some SAW film. Is anything in your room purposely hidden? No. Have you ever been pranked via hidden camera? No. Do you like oatmeal raisin cookies? No, anything with raisins is disgusting. What age do you think is too old to still live with your parents? "It depends on the situation." <<<< This. Have you ever loved a boy who was dating some other girl? I certainly still loved Jason when he was with his girlfriend after me. Is your hair all the same color? Yeah, pretty much. When it was longer, I had natural highlights, but now that it's so short, ig it's hard for them to exist. Denim, leather or varsity jacket? I have desperately wanted a leather jacket since middle school. They're just expensive, at least the ones I like. Do you clean things that are already clean when you're bored? Ha, no. I'm not gonna clean without reason. Have either of your parents ever been to jail? No. What TV shows do you keep up with? None. Would you rather have a wiener dog or an Italian greyhound? Absolutely a greyhound, if I wanted a dog and had room for one of those. Do your parents buy you most anything you want? Most definitely not. I'm not even comfortable asking for things at my age. Have you ever tried to jump a fence? I have jumped fences, as a kid. Do you like the movie Zootopia? I do. Do you ever go on Pinterest? Rarely. What's the last kind of chocolate you ate? A sea salt dark chocolate w/ caramel filling Ghiradelli square from Christmas. Can you speak any unusual languages? No. Did you do gymnastics in elementary school? No. Have you ever performed in front of a large audience? Yeah; I was in dance classes for a long time, so we had recitals and went to competitions. I never did a solo, though. I was going to my senior year (senior solos are typical), but I got too nervous to continue with it. It was to "Coma White" by Marilyn Manson. Do you like BBQ sauce? Ugh, I hate it. Last time you wore the opposite sex's clothing? Right now. I always wear men's pj pants. Are you currently fighting with someone? No. Have you ever kept anything wild as a pet? When I was little, I know my sisters and I kept a box turtle that wandered into our yard for a while. We eventually let it go. Then when I would go fishing with Dad, one of my absolute favorite things to do was try to catch the minnows and tadpoles in my hands, and so I had a fishbowl of those. Don't keep wild animals, please. Do you set good examples for little kids? Probably not. Does your house have a pool? No, but I REALLY want one. It would be so helpful in strengthening my legs without sweating my ass off and feeling like I'm going to collapse. When you were younger, were you ever in a relationship with someone you now realize was way too old for you? No. Have you ever had a seizure? No, but I've actually had very short (I mean like, a second), sudden spasms when lying down that feel like what I assume a seizure to feel like. I think it's a side effect of my nightmare medication. What's the longest hotel stay you've ever had? Not long at all. Just a few days. Do any of your friends or family members have strange occupations? Maybe? What small thing makes you automatically distrust someone? Making dark/dangerous jokes. Of all the states/provinces in your country, which one is your favorite? I haven't been to nearly enough to know. Have you ever had to wear a school uniform? In middle school. Would you rather sleep on the top bunk or bottom bunk? My fat ass ain't getting in the top bunk. Are you close with your cousins? None, really. Are you close to any aunts or uncles? Also not really, but one of my mom's brothers is closest to that. Are you close to your grandparents? They're all dead, but I wasn't very close to any. I never really see my extended family. What was your favorite thing to do at sleepovers when you were younger? Go swimming, if they had a pool. If they didn't or it just wasn't up, I liked playing two-player video games. Do you know what you want to do for your next birthday? Probably go to The Cheesecake Factory for dinner and dessert with family and just chill at home for most of the day. What is the last new thing you discovered that was really good? Peanut butter fudge, like holy shit. Did you ever skip a grade or get held back a grade? No. What is the best hairstyle you've ever had? What I have now. Do you think you look better with dyed hair or natural hair? DYED. Do you think your look better with curly hair or straight hair? Straight. Have you ever won a contest? Yes. How many drawers does your dresser have? Five. Do you do your own taxes, or do you hire a professional? N/A What song hit you so hard that you remember where you were the first time you heard it? Oh man, what a question. Music can affect me very deeply, so honestly there's probably a number that fit this criteria if I thought for long enough, but I'm not gonna spend ten minutes trying to pick the best one. "Eternally Yours" by Motionless In White will do, I guess because that was probably the most recent. I don't let myself listen to it, even though I love it. It'll only drag me into a trauma pit. What's your "brand" of fictional character, the type you always get attached to (ex., "perky girls with deep-seated mental health issues," "guys who you would want as an older brother," etc.)? Totally the sarcastic and usually well-composed villain. If you use Spotify, share your 2020 Wrapped! What are your overall feelings about it? Is it what you expected? I don't use it. If you’re a ~gamer~, what are your top 3 all-time favorite games? Silent Hill 2, Shadow of the Colossus, and Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs. What’s the biggest red flag you’ve ever ignored? I dunno; I'm pretty good at listening to those. What’s something extremely bizarre you believed as a very young child? It's fucking embarrassing that I went through this many-years-long "I have animal powers given to me by a wolf I made up!!!" thing, holy god. Like, I thought I could "activate" traits of certain animals. Kids are fuckin wild, but I was exceptionally so. What is the biggest conflict in your life right now? With myself. Through a lot of digging with my therapist, she got me to realize that I don't feel that I'm rightfully lovable because I'm not "successful" and "going nowhere." It hit like a ton of fucking bricks when I understood the "why" of feeling like that. Like don't get me wrong, I don't think I'm a bad person that is worthy of being hated, but totally deserving of pure love, no. So my therapist has me tell myself "I am lovable" in the mirror every morning, and I don't believe it. I'm trying to, but every time I'm just like "lol but are you really?" If you could change your current life schedule to incorporate more or less time for certain things, how would you do so? Do you feel like you have a well-structured and well-balanced schedule at the moment? My schedule is embarrassing, truly. I wake up, get on the computer, go to bed, and that's just about it, taking care of bodily needs being sprinkled in there throughout. I want to change it so, so badly, but I'm just... so set in my ways. I want to incorporate at least 30 minutes of daily reading, and I've yet to start my Wii Fit exercising because I'm waiting for Mom to move into her room (she stays and sleeps in the living room rn) because I do NOT like exercising in front of ANYBODY. I don't care if she gave birth to me. I also want to spend less time just hopping between websites on the laptop just because I can't find anything to do. It'd be nice to draw more, too... but for that, I really need to like the idea of what I'm drawing to stay even slightly motivated. There's probably more to this, but yeah, that's enough. What filler words do you find yourself using most often ("um," "you know," etc.)? "Um" or "uh," probably. I fumble over my words so much as well as just total derail on what I'm talking about that filler words are very, very common for me. When was the last time you felt let down? What were your expectations about the given situation that weren't met? Ugh, so apparently when my laptop was fixed, a lot of things were reset, and that included Lightroom, my primary photography editing software. I lost all my presets and I initially thought pictures too, but thank Christ I had a backup dialogue. I'm still pretty annoyed, because I can't find my favorite free LR download site. I didn't at all expect my laptop to be affected as heavily as it was, just getting a new DC port... If you enjoy taking and editing photos, how would you describe your editing style? This greatly depends on the subject matter and composition, but I feel a common theme is I enjoy vibrance. I war with myself a lot if I make them too saturated, but idk. Have you ever been inspired by a celebrity to change something about your appearance (your clothing style, hairstyle, etc.)? Is much of your taste/style inspired by celebrities? If not, what else serves as an inspiration for you? Ha! Guys, I'm not going to bullshit you, when I got into GMM, I loved Link's big, "nerdy" glasses so much that I became very curious as to how they'd look on me. Years later, I still kept the style and think they've looked best on me of all my glasses. I love them. For the second question, no, not really. My personal aesthetics dictate my style selections. When was the last time you felt a friendship was petering out? If a friendship seems to be fizzling, do you go out of your way to try to "save it," or do you accept that it may have just reached its natural conclusion? Ugh. This has happened in so very many of my friendships that I don't even like thinking about it. If we're talking the most recent time, I suppose with Alex. She just started talking to me less and less before vanishing (to clarify, she's an online friend). Considering just how poorly I handle loss, I'm the type to always try to save friendships I still cherish. Who is your favorite contemporary writer, author, poet, thinker? I don't know. What are your thoughts on body positivity vs. body neutrality? I believe in seeing your body and loving it for all it does, considering it's a masterpiece of biology, but, I also feel it is vital to consider its health. In other words, no, I do not think morbidly obese or emaciated individuals should think their body is... I can't think of the right word, really. "Ideal," I suppose? And keep in mind: this is coming from an obese person. I don't want someone to tell me "your body is perfectly fine!" or "you should just accept you the way you are!" when I spend almost every minute of every day thinking to some degree about how much I hate my fucking weight. No, I don't want to be convinced I should settle and neglect the wellbeing of the one body I have, but I in no way support bashing or being rude to people who are unhealthy, either. I feel like my stance on this is kinda hard to explain. Just respect your body as well as others' and their efforts to treat it the best they can. Do you enjoy keeping secrets from people, like having something about yourself that no one else knows? I mean, I don't enjoy it... I'd prefer to have none. If you play video games, what do you usually like to play? If you don't play video games, do you like watching others play? If so, what? I really like horror games, more than any. Fantasy ones with dragons and gods and the like are awesome, too. I don't enjoy a lot of games that are pretty much just movies with player decisions that barely affect the ending (I do like watching these, though), nor do sportsy or action things normally do it for me. It's by serious luck that I'm an avid World of Warcraft player, because I don't tend to like very grindy games, but I suppose WoW is an exception with the absolutely endless options of what you can do. Onto the second part of the question: totally. I wouldn't watch let's plays if I didn't, and I grew up loving to watch my dad and brother play. I'll watch an even wider variety of games than I play, but it more so depends on who the person is versus what they're playing, because whom I watch is controlled by whether or not/how much I enjoy the individual themselves. What are three things you like about nature? Just three? Damn... Well, the easiest I suppose can be summed up in a quote: "As above, so below." All is tied together. I could go on a romantic monologue about the beauty of our connection to the infinite stars we look upon and the ground we stand on, but I'll spare ya that poem. I love, love, love the sounds of nature: birds chirping, zephyrs through the trees, the crunching of fall leaves. All of it. Then, there's the power of nature! I live for those pictures of nature just taking the Earth back: desolate homes eaten by vines, all that. To call nature merely "spectacular" is truly an act of disrespect, pretty much. What do teenagers have right now that you wish you had when you were their age? Hm. I guess better phones.