#tipsy me said : I am sad and you shall be sad too!

[milfsloverblog]

Opening my notes app and reading through the draft I’ve written for Secret Benefits pt5 when I was drvnk last night

[an-evergreen-rose]

Just Looking part 2

Just Looking

reader x Natasha Romanoff (established) x Yelena Belova

Warnings: cheating, mentions of some NSFW stuff, alcohol, swearing

Summary: When Natasha left you all alone at one of Tony's parties, Yelena decided to make a move.

A/N: @yelenabelovasgf you asked and you shall receive. I am also writing this at 2 in the morning because I just couldn't help myself when I saw this request. So here is some sleep deprived nonsense. Might make a part 3???

---------------

Wine glass in hand, you looked around the room in hopes of finding your redheaded wife. When you do, you see she is enjoying a conversation with some of her work friends, not bothered by your lack of presence.

You had begged her to come to Tony's party, explaining how you two hadn't done anything social in a while now, Natasha always being too busy with work. You walked in, hand in hand, and a smile on your face, but as soon as you got to the bar, she left you behind with a drink in her hand, going over to talk to Carol and Mariah. Not like she talks to them every day at work.

Feeling as if your thoughts were going to get the best of you, you decided to get some air. Being on the top floor balcony meant the breeze could be quite ruthless at times, making you regret your choice of a backless dress. You watched as the city lights shone, looking down to see cars moving slowly through the traffic. Why is there always traffic?

"Careful, you might catch a cold." you heard someone say behind you, hearing the door to the balcony slide shut.

Looking over your shoulder, you saw Yelena, dressed in a grey oversized suit. You thought she looked powerful… and hot. But you shouldn't think that. You gave her a small smile as she reached the balcony rail, standing close to you, letting you feel her warmth, instantly wanting more.

"So…" Yelena stated, taking a sip of her beer, "What's a pretty girl like you doing out here, all alone?"

You let out a small chuckle at her comment, dipping your head slightly to try and hide the blush that crept onto your cheeks, hoping you could just blame the cold air if she asked. "Natasha was busy," you reply, finding it hard to hide the sad tone in your voice.

You saw Yelena roll her eyes, sighing before looking out at the view. Truth be told, Yelena thought it was nothing compared to you, but she was scared if she looked at you, she wouldn't be able to look away.

"You deserve better, you know?" She said, a hint of annoyance in her voice. She was thankful for the multiple vodka shots she took when she saw you walk into the room, giving her the liquid courage to finally say what she wants to.

"Lena, she's my wife…"

Letting out a scoff, Yelena looked at you, "She doesn't treat you right, Y/n. She is never even with you! I mean look how beautiful you look tonight in your dress, and she isn't there to show you off. If you were mine - I… Well." she rambled, quietening her speech as she neared the end.

This time, you couldn't help the crimson hue that took over her cheeks. She thought you looked beautiful. Not even your wife said that to you tonight. In fact, you don't remember the last time she did.

"What would you do differently?" you asked, surprising the blonde at your forwardness. "If I was yours, what would you do with me?" You knew the last part was risky, she was Natasha's sister for god's sake and here you are sending out flirty comments because you are so deprived of attention from your wife. But it's not like you hadn't thought about it before.

Yelena thought that comment was bold, so she decided to run with it, her tipsy mind wanted to scream what she wanted to do from the rooftops, but she decided that it being loud enough for you to hear would be enough. Not caring about the consequences that might come up tomorrow. You had turned to face her, one arm resting on the balcony rail when you felt her fingertips begin to trace little patterns against your skin.

"First of all, I wouldn't have left you all alone tonight. Especially when you look this good, detka." You used to love it when Natasha called you names in Russian, but hearing Yelena say it, accent much thicker, it was like honey. "I would happily have you by my side the whole night, finding it funny when people stare at you because I'd know that I was the one that got to take care of you when we were alone. And trust me, Y/n, I've seen a lot of people stare at you tonight."

With that final comment, Yelena moved her other hand to grab your waist, pulling you in closer to her, your body's now flushed together. "I would never leave you alone on our date nights and would always be there for you when you in the mornings, just so I could hear you all cute and grumpy when you woke up."

You couldn't help the small smile on your face at the blonde's words.

"And trust me, detka, you wouldn't be needing that little toy of yours at night when you're all needy and frustrated," She continued, her voice lower as she brought a hand up to your face, tucking a strand of hair away from your lips. "I would be more than happy to help you out in that department."

Your lip was placed firmly between your teeth, trying to stop the low moan that threatened to escape at the thought of her doing those things to you. You couldn't take it anymore. You knew it was wrong, you were married. To her sister of all people. But you didn't stop her when she leaned in, releasing your lip in an instant if it meant feeling hers on yours instead.

It was needy and passionate, the both of clearly releasing all your built tension, pouring it into each other. Your hands reached her hair, gripping it softly to pull her in more - if that was even possible. One hand on your waist, the other travelling down your back, leaving a trail of goosebumps on your exposed skin.

You couldn't help but let out a small whimper when that hand reached your ass, giving it a quick squeeze, she took this opportunity to deepen the kiss.

"Am I interrupting?" A familiar voice reached your ears, and your eyes widened as you pulled away, looking toward the person at the door.

Natasha. Fuck.

[thefanficmonster]

Let Them Talk

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female) ft. Sykkuno

Warnings: Swearing, Jealousy

Genre: Fluff, a bit of Angst

Summary: We can all agree Among Us is a fun game on its own but what makes it ten times better is playing it with the right company. Y/N could agree 100% Being a streamer herself, she loves playing with the streamer gang that includes her boyfriend and best friend. But, what happens when her boyfriend starts doubting her feelings for him due to her close relationship with her best friend.

Requested by @cheetoscat . Thank you so much for your request! Sorry it took so long to write, I hope the final product is worth the wait. Enjoy! Love, Vy ❤

Y/AU/N - Your Among Us Name

I settle in my gaming chair, adjusting my webcam one last time before joining the Among Us lobby with my friends. 

“Hi everyone!“ I say into the mic, a smile plastering itself on my face. Discord is a magical thing, man. It’s so easy to forget that the people you are talking to aren’t around you or within arm’s reach. You could be separated by miles and miles of land or - in our case - oceans as well. Distance becomes negligible when you hear your friends’ voices, their laughter; when you have a good time together despite being each behind a screen, often times alone.

Well, I’m one of those lucky ones that isn’t alone. No one knows that, though. Everyone thinks I’m a single, self-employed girl that’s straight out of college. And they are 90% right. Only thing is - I’m not single. That would be a shocker in and of itself, but revealing who’s changed my relationship status would be a bomb with a whole new intensity.

Speaking of my significant other who shall remain unnamed - just kidding, it’s Corpse - his form materializes in the doorway of my recording room. I give him a hand signal the camera isn’t able to capture, alerting him of the fact that my mic is on. He replies by blowing me a kiss and walking off down the hall to his recording room where he’ll be stationed for the next three or so hours.

I owe this relationship to my best friend Sykkuno. I’m a pretty new and not very well known on the platform, however, thanks to him I haven’t only obtained a boyfriend, but a following of a little over million subscribers as well. 

It all started with an invitation to fill a spot in the Among Us lobby him and his friends had created. It took him quite a bit to convince me to join, but I eventually caved and agreed. Suddenly, there I was. In a Discord call, in an Among Us lobby with some of the most well-known names on this platform. I’m talking YouTube legends. I was that puppy playing with the big dogs. The newbie tagging along with the big leagues. Or at least that’s how I felt until we all started vibing - talking and teasing each other as though we’ve known each other for years and not minutes.

When I joined the call, Corpse wasn’t present. After everyone else introduced themselves, Sykkuno informed me that we were waiting for Corpse to return. The name sounded really cool to me and I was genuinely very excited to meet this Corpse guy.

And then, out of the blue - no prep, no warning...

“Did you get someone to fill the spot? Oh- Hello, Y/AU/N.“ 

…he started talking and he had me star-struck. Apparently, he also had me a blabbering mess cause I remember blurting out: “Whoa, who’s this guy speaking in bold and underlined at the same time?”

The entire lobby, including Corpse, laughed. Sean, or Jack like they called him most often, answered my question, “That is the voice of God, Y/N. Its source is named Corpse, though.”

Heat spread from the bottom of my neck to the tips of my ears. I was mortified by my own stupidity. I was well aware they couldn’t see me and I was incredibly thankful for that, but I simply could not get myself to open my eyes. “I’m so sorry.” I said through nervous laughter.

“No, no, I like that description. Bold and underlined at the same time, huh?“ His voice sounded even more pleasant when it had that teasing, mischievous note to it. That thought popping up in my head only made things worse for my self-esteem and only made me more embarrassed, causing me to hide my face in my hands. “You sure it’s not in Italics as well?“ 

His question got a weak laugh out of me. “Nope, definitely not. Nothing Italic about it.“

Yes, I don’t even know how some terrible jokes about MS Word fonts got me as far as a romantic relationship, but they did! We’ve been living together for quite some time now, dating for even longer - hiding it just as long. It’s not that we have been actively trying to hide it or something, we just wanted to see how long it would take someone to become sus of us. When we realized no one would notice, we decided that if any rumors about us started, or even fans shipping us, we’d come clean. That hasn’t happened either, so we haven’t had the proper chance to address our relationship and neither of us minds.

At this point, I’m honestly afraid of revealing it to the gaming squad. Sykkuno especially. He’s my best friend, after all. I can see him being hurt by the fact that I kept a secret so big even from him. The last thing I wanna do is hurt my best friend but it’s already too late for that, it’s inevitable.

“Y/N have you looked at Twitter today?“ Rae, another streamer I’ve become close with over the months, says urgently.

Overlooking the tension in her words, I answer: “Nope, haven’t had the time. Why? What’s up?“

Before Rae can say anything else, Sykkuno joins the conversation, his voice somehow even more urgent than Rae’s. “It’s nothing, Y/N. If you see it, just don’t let it bother you, ok?”

Hearing such a tone from Rae isn’t unusual, but hearing it from Sykkuno is completely different and a lot more worrisome. “Well if it has the potential of bothering me it can’t be nothing. What’s going on?”

Just then, my phone dings with two notifications. I check to see they are messages from Rae.

“I sent you screenshots. Sorry, Sykkuno. She has to know in order to address it and defuse it as well. I know better than anyone how fast these rumors can spread, especially if no one reacts to them.“ She says, her tone barely apologetic at all.

I open the screenshots she has sent me and I find myself frozen in shock. Some old pictures of Sykkuno and I have been posted on Twitter by some random user. These pictures have started an entire thread of suspicions surrounding our relationship.

The pictures in question are from a New Year’s Eve party a mutual friend of ours held two years ago. Sure, in the pictures we are a lot closer than what would be considered a platonic proximity. And yes one of the pictures is of me kissing his cheek. Yes we were both a bit tipsy. I acknowledge all those things and yet none of them are concrete reasons for these rumors to have started piling. 

“This is silly.“ I finally say after maybe five minutes of silence on my end. ”This is absolutely ridiculous! And why are people so serious about it as well? Actual, important matters get discussed more nonchalantly than the potential relationship between two online personalities! What is this world we live in?“ I know I shouldn’t let these rumors get to me like this, especially not on camera. Still, I can’t help it. I feel it’s so unfair to Corpse. He has to put up with this as well and it’s by no means easy for him. I’ve been shipped with people from our group in the past and he always took those rumors to heart despite acting like he didn’t care. Neither of us should get worked up, but him getting upset about them creates a domino effect with my emotions - causing me to be hit just as hard as him, in some cases harder.

Rumors of the past aside, this one is the worst by far. Mostly cause even Corpse himself suspected something between Sykkuno and I at the very beginning, when we were still acquaintances, barely crossing into the realm of friends.

I pull up Twitter to look for the whole thread, barely sparing my stream chat a glance in the process. It seems pretty split - those who agree with me and those who think Sykkuno and I make ‘such an adorable couple’. The thread is ridiculously long, and if we take into account that it was only started approximately five hours ago, you can either view it as impressive, amusing or sad. Why sad? Because someone has dedicated so much time and effort into fueling the fire of a weakly supported theory.

I love Sykkuno with all my heart. Everyone knows that - fandom, streamer squad, Corpse and Sykkuno included. I love too much and too platonically to ever even dream of having a romantic connection with him. I thought that was more than obvious, but people are either blind here, or just grasping at straws. One thing’s for certain - they’re stepping on a nerve.

“Hey where’s Corpse? Did he disconnect?” Felix asks, gaining my full attention. My eyes dart to the monitor, searching through the little avatars in a desperate search for the one of my boyfriend. It’s nowhere to be found.

“He just messaged me saying his connection is unstable but he might join us later.“ Rae says, “You guys can invite someone to fill...“

“Bathroom break.“ I interrupt, not waiting for a response before shutting my mic off, putting the ‘BRB‘ graphic on my stream and yanking the headset off. I basically run down the hall to Corpse’s recording room, my heart pounding like a bass drum.

“Corpse?!“ I call out to him, one hand already on the doorknob. When five seconds pass by without a response, I barge in. 

Inside, I find his usual spot on the gaming chair empty and his slumped figure seated on his bed.

“Corpse?“ I try again, watching for even the tiniest change of body language. He remains still as a statue, not bothering to look up at me either. 

His hands are gripping the edge of the mattress, his head hanging low. His eyes are covered by the short curtain of his dark messy curls. I can’t gauge much. Is he angry? Is he sad? Both? How should I approach the situation?

Before I find the answer to any of those questions, I am kneeling in front of him, our height difference eliminated. I gently pry his hands off the mattress and take them in mine, holding them firmly but tenderly. With one hand I reach up to tilt his head so his eyes can meet mine. He complies, his tear-filled brown orbs meeting mine. Those tears have the same effect on me as fifty sharp knives stabbing into my chest. These tears focus their attack straight on my heart, tearing it to pieces.

“Baby....“

He cuts me off, “Why is it always someone else, huh? Do they deem me not worthy of being with you? Do they think you deserve better?” His voice wavers, “Well, they might be right. They are correct and there’s little I can do to prove them wrong. They mean you well, Y/N - pairing you with guys better than me. Those are some loyal fans you’ve got. They only want what’s best for you. And so do I. If ‘best’ is being with someone else then...”

It’s my turn to cut him off. I put an end to his nonsense ramble that’s slowly killing me by pressing my finger against his lips. The sternness of my gaze is beyond me as I get up and walk over to his computer setup. I put on his headset and hop into the call as well as the lobby with his avatar.

“Hey Corpse’s back!” Toast says, “Good to have you back buddy.”

“No, not Corpse.” I say in a casual, nonchalant voice.

“Wait, wha-“ Sean’s voice shows just how confused he is, representing the confusion of the entire lobby actually.

“I know all of you are streaming so this message will be heard by several different audiences so I’m gonna make myself perfectly clear.“ I take a deep breath, “Sykkuno and I aren’t dating. He’s a lovely guy and he deserves to find a girl who will treat him right. That girl isn’t and won’t be me though. I am already treating someone right. Someone who treats me more than right as well. An amazing person. A man-child with a heart of gold. You know him, to a certain extent. He goes by the name of Corpse Husband, but I prefer to call him ‘Love of my life’. Thank you for your time and attention, goodbye.“

I exit the call and turn around to find a stunned Copse looking at me.

“That was meant for you just as much.“ I say with a fake strict attitude, one hand on my hip the other rested on his desk behind me, “Were you listening?“

Within milliseconds, he’s on his feet standing directly in front of me, his lips inches away from mine. “I heard and memorized every word. But...” he pauses for a moment, “I think you have no idea how big of a chaos you just created.”

I smile mischievously, “We’ll worry about that later. For now...” I close the gap between us, connecting our lips in a sweet and passionate kiss. 

@susceptible-but-siriusexual  @simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @hacker-ghost  @itsminniekat  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17  @chrysanthykios  @maehemscorpyus  @loraleiix  @letsloveimagines  @annshit  @i-cant-choose-a-username-help  @enigmaticmaze  @divine-artemis  @waterlilypat  @idontknowwhatthisisfam  @evi-ka  @classyandfabulous00  @redperson58  @lilysdaydreams  @the-fuck-up-of-today  @slashersdream  @chiefwombathoagiepizza  @solowheein @mythicalamphitrite  @axen-gers  @luckygirl144  @nj01

[sarcasmandships]

honey and glass ~ spencer reid

i am in love with spencer reid but he only has eyes for jennifer jareau

spencer reid x reader angst + hurt/comfort (sorta, it’s all in first person but with no names/no specific descrptions)

song fic inspired by ‘honey and glass’ by peyton cardoza

word count: 4.8k

disclaimer: i do not ship jeid or think they had any chemistry but it’s a good opportunity for angst x

you know those kinds of girls who look like they're made of honey and glass like sticky sweet ash

it’s a summers night in california and i’m on the beach at sunset.

the sand is rough under my toes and a warm, gentle breeze blows a strand of my hair across my face; he lifts his hand to brush it away. tucking it behind my ear he stares down at me and the sun hits his face at a perfect angle, illuminating his hazel eyes like pools of honey. he leans in and i-

“ow!” i yelp, as morgan launches the volleyball at my head, “what was that for?”  

“come and play,” he laughs, waving me over to where he stands with emily and hotch.

i shake my head, “no, i don’t feel like it,” i mumble, massaging my left temple where the ball bounced off my skull.

morgan rolls his eyes and jogs past where i’m sitting to collect the ball, “what’s up with you then?” he teases.

i shrug, “nothing. I’m just tired,” i say feigning an unconvincing yawn, “ask one of them to play.”  

i motion with my head towards spencer and jj, they’re down by the edge of the waves and she throws her head back and laughs at something he says. her sheets of blonde hair ripple through the wind and he looks at her in pure awe and amazement as she giggles at something he said.

“nah, don’t wanna interrupt the kid when he’s trying to make a move,” morgan shrugs, “come play with us, we need an extra person.”

an extra person.

right.

because what else am i but another body to fill the space?

“i don’t want to,” i say, forcing myself to tear my eyes away from jj and spencer as i stand up, “hotch said the jet is leaving first thing tomorrow, i’m gonna head back to the hotel and get some sleep.”

morgan says something, but i don’t register it as i allow myself one last glance at spencer and jj. she is trying to convince him to paddle in the waves with her, he shakes his head but when she takes his hand in hers i can tell he’s melting inside as he follows her into the water.

and i just know that he’d follow her so far out to sea that his head was underwater as long as she kept their hands intertwined.

i turn away from morgan so he doesn’t see the tears burning in my eyes.

and you can't get the taste off your tongue burnt sugar and a little bit of rum

we’re in a dimly lit bar somewhere.

hotch left hours ago, he wanted to take advantage of one of the rare nights he would be there to read jack a bedtime story.

rossi is at a table in the corner, sitting with a woman who has not-so-subtly draped her leg over him.

derek is out of my line of sight and i’m thankful for that.

emily, garcia, and jj are dancing.

i sit at the table with spencer, he’s drunk.

more tipsy than drunk i think, but he so rarely drinks anything that the sight of him swaying along to the music was an anomaly. i can’t ignore the fact that his eyes are firmly fixed on jj as she dances, and i grip my wine glass so tightly i half expect it to shatter in my hand.

he leans across to me and my heart skips a beat as i inhale the alcohol on his breath, “i’m in love with her, y’know,” he slurs.

“i know, spencer,” i smile sadly and down the rest of my wine.

he doesn’t even notice when i grab my coat from behind him and shuffle towards the door.

and she dances in the rain with her clothes on drenched to the bone never knows when she's all gone, she's the life of the party

spencer and i are watching the big bang theory.

neither of us particularly like it, but there aren’t many channels on our hotel room tv and spencer enjoys the physics references at least. i watch his face light up as a character mentions something about quantum theory that i cant understand, and spencer launches into a rant about the universe and the stars.

i don’t have the knowledge to keep up with him or the heart to tell him to stop so i sit and listen, admiring the way his eyes sparkle and his hands gesticulate when no one interrupts him with a deprecating comment.

we sit there like that for the rest of the night, in our respective twin beds with him telling me the secrets of the universe and me wondering how on earth i will ever get over him.

and deep down I know that nobody flinches when she takes off her clothes

“anything you like?” emily asks me through the dressing room curtain.

“i’m not sure…” i mumble in response, biting down on my lip as i stare at myself in the mirror, “i-i don’t think this is my colour.”

the dress looked so beautiful on the hanger, but now that it’s on my body the fabric bunches up in all the wrong places and i can’t recall a time that i’ve looked worse.

the lights are just washing you out, i tell myself.

you’re having a bad hair day, it would look better with your hair down, i tell myself.

you just need some lipstick, i tell myself.

but when jj announces she has found the perfect dress and i stick my head out of the curtain to see her, i am slapped in the face with the realisation that it isn’t the lighting or my lack of makeup it’s just me.

because jj looks beautiful as always, her dress hugs her waist and the skirt fans out around her as emily demands she gives us a spin. she isn’t wearing makeup, her hair is in a ponytail too, the lights don’t wash her out because she is radiant and flawless, and the lights aren’t the problem.

i am.

i cry in my car as i drive home from the mall, and when i get home i tear everything out of my fridge and fling it into the trashcan. i vow to go to the store and stock up on salad and chicken.

i go to the store but i don’t buy salad.

and I wonder what it's like to be one of those girls to sit in the sun and look at the world and never think, "wow, am i enough?" ‘cause life is easy when you know that you're the main character

i’m in hotch’s office as he grills me about a stupid mistake i made in the field. i can hardly focus on his words as i shrink back in the chair, counting all the reasons that i don’t deserve to be in this job.

i’m not as smart or fast or strong as the others. i don’t have an eidetic memory or hacker skills and i can’t even maintain myself as a solid average agent because i keep fucking up.

“i’m not going to write you up,” he says, and my heart soars a little in my chest, “but i need you to understand that if you do something like that again i won’t have any choice, you were lucky no one got hurt today.”

i nod silently and blink back the tears that threaten to spill over.

“go home, get some rest,” he says and i don’t hang around for a second longer, darting out of his office i crash headfirst into a tall frame.

“wow, slow down,” he chuckles, resting a hand on my shoulder to steady me.

“spencer,” i gasp, looking up at his sympathetic smile, “what are you still doing here? we landed hours ago….”

he shrugs, “i waited for you.”

my heart skips a beat.

“you didn’t have to do that.”

he shakes his head, “you’re my best friend, i wanted to. plus i thought you might need someone after being in there with hotch.”

i swallow and offer him a slightly forced smile.

best friend.

“thanks, spence, that means a lot.”

he looks at me quizzically.

“what’s wrong?”

“nothing, just only jj calls me spence…anyways” he holds out his arm for me, “shall we go?”

i have to restrain myself from seizing his arm, and settle for tentatively wrapping my own around it, “thanks spencer…you’re such a good friend.”

he smiles down at me and its almost enough to melt away the icy feeling in my heart as i call him a friend. the coldness in my chest in my chest is a feeling i’ve grown accustomed to but when i’m with him everything is warm and bright again.

he feels like yellow.

and i feel like maybe i am enough.

and I'm sitting here thinking this is not fair

i feel like blue.

i’m alone in my apartment flicking through tv channels, trying to find something that isn’t a medical or crime drama. because after my day at work i can’t look at any more blood or dead bodies, even if its as fake as the pep in my voice when jj calls to ask if i’m okay.

“hotch grilled you pretty bad, huh? you sure you’re okay?”

“yeah, spence – spencer – waited for me and we went to get milkshakes after.”

“aww that’s so nice, you know i think he has a soft spot for you,” she teases.

something acidic bubbles in my throat, but i can’t tell her that i know she’s wrong because he spent half the night telling me how much he loves her. i have to gather the strength to respond without the venom in my heart poisoning my voice.

“oh, i don’t think so,” i laugh, “anyways, i should go – my movie is about to start.”

jj tells me to have a good night before she hangs up, and i switch off the tv. at this time there’s noting but romcoms and i don’t want to sit through hours of pining when its on replay every day at the office.

i watch my own reflection in the blank tv screen as sobs wrack my body.

but her smile makes it hard to be mad it's not her fault that I'm so fucking sad

jj holds me in her arms as i cry into her chest, “it’s okay, you’re gonna be okay,” she coos, rubbing soft circles on my back.

i sniffle against her and i just know that my eyes are puffy and red but i can’t switch off the floods of tears that fall from them.

“do you want to tell me what’s wrong?” she asks.

i shake my head against her because how could i tell her?

how could I tell her that the man i love is in love with her?

and that i want to resent her for it but i can’t because she’s such a good fucking friend that she’s sitting here with me, unknowingly wiping the tears that i can’t stop shedding because i can’t be her.

she gives me one of those heart warming smiles that could bring peace to a dying man, and in that moment i am reminded again of why he loves her. there are worse people to love, i suppose. if spencer is going to cut out his heart and give it to someone it might as well be someone like her.

but that doesn’t make it hurt any less.

and i hate myself for the part of me that hates her. she’s done nothing wrong. it’s not her fault that that spencer loves her, and its not her fault that she doesn’t realise.

so I'll sit here and look at these girls in the sun dancing in the rain and just having their fun

i hate alaska.

my teeth chatter as we trudge through the snow filled field, and i pull the cuffs of my coat over my glove cladded hands. i hate the cold. i hate alaska. i hate the serial killer who dragged us all out here. i hate the impending snowstorm that was keeping the jet grounded for another night.

“should we even be out here?” i groan, “i mean if it’s not safe for the plane, then surely its not safe for us.”

“we aren’t 50,000 feet up in the sky though,” morgan says and i roll my eyes at him.

“it’s cold enough to make me feel like we are,” i huff.

spencer nods sympathetically at me, “i don’t like the cold either, not much snow in vegas.”

“i think we should have two behavioural analysis units,” i begin, “one to catch serial killers in cold climates, and the other in hot ones.”

he laughs, “i’d like that, but i think it’d just be us and garcia on the hot team.”

“we’d get by.”

he’s grinning at me, his messy brown curls are squashed down under his bobble hat but a few of them still manage to peak out. he’s wearing a multicoloured striped scarf and mismatched gloves.

a snowflake lands on his eyelash and i reach out to brush it off.

“thanks.”

“anytime.”

morgan launches a snowball at us, and it hits me in the back of the head, “hey! what is it with you and throwing things?” i snap.

morgan roars with laughter.

“not funny derek!”

he resumes his snowball fight with emily and jj and i draw my arms across my chest. i watch as they prance about in the snow, falling to avoid the snowballs launched by the others and laughing when they get hit. the sun is just starting to set, and it’s rays catch jj’s hair at the perfect angle, bouncing off the golden blonde strands as she dances around morgan. her and emily have joined forces to pelt him with snowballs.

i look up at spencer to see him starting at her in awe. his nose and cheeks are flushed from the cold, and the sun reflects against his own face, illuminating his eyes. they’re beautiful. like honey and glass.

“guys! come join us!” jj calls.

i shake my head, “there’s not enough money in the world.”

she pouts at me, “spence, please,” she says sweetly and before i know it he’s by her side and scooping up snow.

i watch from the side-lines.

spencer roars with laughter when emily hits morgan square in the face with a snowball, he wraps an arm around jj as she nearly collapses from laughter, something twinges in my stomach.

but he looks so happy, and that melts my glacier heart slightly.

maybe alaska wasn’t so bad after all.

and maybe one day, i can forget the past and be one of those girls of honey and glass

“nice to meet you, agent,” agent fitz says, holding out his hand, “we’ve heard good things about you up in the new york office.”

“really?” i say, shaking his hand and i can’t fight the smile that creeps across my face.

“really. give me a call if you ever fancy a change of scenery.”

“i’ll keep that in mind, agent fitz,” i give him a nod and a smile as he walks away.

new york was cold in the winter, but it didn’t seem like the worst place in the world.

but I think that it's hard for people to see that I love all these girls, and honestly it doesn't matter what you look like or how much you weigh

i wondered once how i’d ever get over my love for spencer reid, and now as he sits and sobs on my couch i realise that i don’t want to. it hurts me to love him, and something stabs my heart every time i catch him staring at her, but he deserves someone to love him like he loves her.

“i guess i’m just starting to realise that she’ll never love me back, and i don’t know why or what’s wrong with me,” he says and looks up at me, his eyes filled with tears and his face blotchy and red.

“there’s nothing wrong with you,” i say, wrapping an arm around him and wiping his tears, “sometimes the people you love just don’t love you back, but that’s not a reflection of you or your self-worth,” i reiterate to him the mantra i say in my mirror every morning.

he whimpers and my heart breaks for him.

“it doesn’t feel that way, it feels like i’m dying inside every time she talks about him or tells me about their dates, and i try to be a good friend but-”

his voice cracks and another sob escapes his chest and i tighten my grip around him; heartbreak doesn’t seem to get easier with age, because here we are, two fbi agents in our late twenties crying over our crushes like we are in junior high.

because before i know it the tears are flowing down my face faster than his and when he breaks away from our embrace to ask me why i’m crying, i can’t tell him it’s because i am feeling everything he is.

“i just don’t like seeing you like this,” is all i can muster up.

it's just that these girls know they're okay there's a beauty in knowing your place in the world in loving yourself and knowing your worth

“hey!” spencer greets me as he steps into the elevator with me.

“hi,” i mumble back, taking another sip of coffee from my travel cup.

we’ve been called in on a case, but i’ve barely had any sleep and i’m struggling to keep my eyes open.

“you look tired, are you okay?”

you look tired.

so the bags under my eyes were obvious then.

“yeah,” i say, swallowing the lump in my throat, “just a late night, y’know.”

“oh…oh! is that your way of saying your date went well?” he says with a coy grin.

“what?”

oh! something clicks in my brain and i understand what he means.

“no! not like that no…actually it didn’t go well at all, he turned out to be a total misogynistic creep,” i say with a bitter laugh.

“oh, i’m sorry….”

i shrug and take another swig of coffee, “it’s okay, you didn’t know. to be honest i’ll probably end up calling him again anyways.”

spencer stares at me, confused, “why would you do that?”

“well, i don’t exactly have guys falling over themselves for me, do i?”

spencer frowns and i can see his brain working overtime behind his eyes, “so you’re just going to settle for less than you deserve?”

“i don’t have many other options do i?”

he reaches out an arm to place a comforting hand on my shoulder, “don’t worry, you’ll find the right guy for you soon. it’s only a matter of time, you’re worth more than a misogynistic creep,” he squeezes my shoulder and before i know it we’ve already reached our floor and he’s gone.

you’ll meet the right guy for you soon.

what if i already have?

you don't have to be perfect or never get sad that's not what it means to be honey and glass

it’s late and i sit at my desk, sorting through piles of paperwork.

my eyes blur as i enter the gruesome details of our latest case, from fatigue or tears i can’t tell. i think emily and hotch are still hanging around the office somewhere, but the others had gone to dinner as soon as we landed, promising that they would do their paperwork tomorrow.

i knew i would have no appetite sitting across a table from spencer and jj so i had sat silently in the back of the suv as hotch drove us back to the office.

a singular tear rolls down my cheek and splatters on my page, smudging the not-quite-dry-yet ink. i let out a shaky breath and wipe my eyes, i don’t know why i’m crying really.

no one had necessarily done anything wrong. only when we were in the field and the unsub had detonated the bomb, spencer chose to push jj out of the way instead of me. i was lucky that one of the s.w.a.t agents had grabbed my arm in time and pulled me back to safety.

it had been hours and my ears were still ringing from the explosion.

maybe spencer thought he was closer to jj, that he had a better chance of saving her, we are trained to make difficult choices based on survival odds, i told myself.

only spencer hadn’t been closer to jj, and she was surrounded by three s.w.a.t agents whilst i only had one next to me. but no one had really done anything wrong, no one died, no one even broke a bone. and it pains me to admit to myself but had i been in spencer’s position and had to chose between saving him or morgan, i know that would pull spencer out of the way every single time.

i jump as emily creeps up behind me, “hey, you okay?”

i don’t even try and disguise my puffy, red eyes or tear tracks as i look up at her, “no. but i think that’s okay.”

and everyone has their highs and their lows the nights you spend crying, believe me, I know

it’s roslyn’s birthday.

i don’t think anyone else in the team knows because they keep exchanging looks whenever jj snaps at one of them and i can see the annoyance in their eyes.

when jj barks at spencer and snaps her pencil within the space of five minutes i drag her into a storage closet and wrap my arms around her.

“shhh,” i say soothingly, “it’s okay, you’re gonna be okay.”

jj shakes her head, “i don’t think so, i thought this day would get easier with time but it’s just getting worse,” she sniffles.

i stroke her hair, “i know, i know its horrible and you deserve to cry as much as you want to. but you are so strong, and i know you can get through this-”

“i’m not,” jj shakes her head, “i’m not strong or brave or anything that you all think i am, i’m not like you I-”

“like me?” i question.

“you always hold yourself together, whenever there’s a case with a kid i’m falling to pieces but you keep it together. i mean i’m the one crying in a storage closet….”

i stare at her in disbelief, because jj is the strongest woman i know and i don’t understand how she can’t see that.

“i don’t have a sister who killed herself jj,” i say slowly, “you have survived 100% of the bad things that have happened to you because you’re a fighter, that makes you strong.”

she shakes her head and clings to me, “but i’ve lost pieces of myself, i’m not the same person i could’ve been if life had been kinder to me and that makes me sad. my sister is dead and that makes me sad, everyone thinks i’m this strong and perfect person and that makes me feel guilty because i can’t be that person.”

in a turn of events, she is crying into my chest, her hair is greasy, and her mascara runs and i realise that my best friend was never truly on the pedestal i placed her on. and i realise i am part of the problem, treating jj like she is the be all and all of perfection and unattainablity when i should just be treating her like a friend.

spencer loves her and that kills me but it’s not what’s important right now. i’ve spent too long inside my own head, struggling to view her as my best friend or the other woman but now i see that she is someone that needs my help.

i know what it’s like to cry myself to sleep so i don’t want jj to go through something like that alone. so i vow there and then, to push my own feelings aside and be whatever she needs me to be.

i don't want to be these girls for beauty or fame but for the confidence they have in their own damn name

“smile!” garcia says as she appears with a camera.

emily, jj, and morgan turn to face her and pose but i duck out of the frame. garcia pouts and morgan grabs onto my forearm to pull me back into shot. i wish that i had the self-confidence to let him, to fall in next to him and make a silly pose at the camera and not worry if my hair was sitting nicely or if i was breathing in enough.

“come on! i need pictures for my scrapbook and you’ve been dodging me all night!” she whines.

i stare down at my feet, “garcia i’m not photoshoot ready like these guys,” i say, trying to make my voice light and floaty but it just sounds like im choking back tears.

“come on, just one picture,” jj says kindly, waving for me to come and stand next to her.

i shake my head again and wring my hands. the last thing i need is another photograph of jj and i to compare myself to every time i’m feeling extra low and self-destructive.

i try and remember the vow i made, to be there for my friend despite my own feelings. but she isn’t sad anymore, she’s happy and smiling and drinking wine, me squeezing in between her and emily for a stupid photograph isn’t going to make or break her.

it’s just a stupid photograph.

“no thanks,” i choke, “i’m going to get another drink,” i scurry away to the kitchen before anyone can object.

i shut the door quickly behind me and press my back up against it, taking a deep breath. i can’t quite believe i was successful in escaping garcia again.

“are you avoid garcia and her camera too?”

“spencer!” i laugh shrilly, “i didn’t even see you there.”

“yeah, i’ve been hiding in here for a half hour,” he smiles sadly, “i hate having my picture taken, especially next to morgan. he makes me look even lankier if possible.”

i frown, spencer had no reason to feel insecure.

“why don’t we get garcia to take a picture of just us two?” i suggest nervously, “you won’t have any reason to feel insecure next to me….”

he looks at me quizzically, “what do you mean?”

i wring my hands again, “just that you’ll automatically look even better if i’m next to you…cos’ i’m…well y’know,” i say awkwardly motioning to my face and body.

he cocks his head to the side, “are you trying to tell me you think you’re ugly, so i’ll look better by comparison?”

i shrug.

“well, i think you look beautiful.”

so I'll sit here and look at these girls in the sun dancing in the rain and just having their fun

we’re on the plane journey home.

spencer and jj sit next to each other, their arms pressed together as they share the arm rest. spencer is reading a book; his eyes scan down the pages at lightening speed and i know he’ll be finished soon.

i am on the opposite side of the plane, i sit by myself, i like the space.

i keep my eye on them throughout the flight; just as i predicted, it doesn’t take long for spencer to finish his book and he places it down on the table in front of him. jj picks it up and teases him for the long-winded title, i don’t catch what she says, something about astrophysics.

he starts to ramble, and she interrupts him with another teasing remark, he flushes when she gently nudges his chest. i turn my head to stare out of the window, biting my lip.

they aren’t even doing anything, jj is just being friendly. and i still can’t handle it. i lie my head back against the headrest as i gaze out of the window, admiring the new york skyline as it fades into the distance.

a nervous chuckle from spencer snaps me out of my trance, and i look back over to see him and jj giggling secretively as she whispers something into his ear.

 “where are you going?” emily grumbles, she’s half asleep with her legs splayed out across two chairs when i accidently bump her foot.

 “bathroom,” i say quietly with a forced smile as i shuffle past jj and spencer, my heart seizing in my chest as she teases him about how long his hair is getting, brushing her hand through the curls.

i’m already silently sobbing in the bathroom so i miss the pitiful look that emily and morgan exchange.

and I know it doesn't make sense to forget the past but I promise, one day, you'll be honey and glass

“agent fitz?” i say, clutching my phone tight in my hand.

“ahh, i’ve been wondering when i’d be hearing from you.”

i laugh quietly, “yes, well i’ve been thinking about what you said, and i think i could do with that change of scenery now.”

i wrote this in a couple hours and didnt proof read so apologies for an errors :))

part 2

[roll-da-credits]

His Biggest Regret -Bakugou Katsuki x Reader-

Word count: 2.28k

After cracking down a big mafia operation on the other side of the globe, the entire alumni’s of UA’s 1st year finally gets together. The festive situation didn’t sit right with Bakugou who felt the overwhelming longing of someone he couldn’t have anymore.

!Warning!:

Mentions of death, mentions of injury, I think that’s it?

A/n: I honestly felt sad writing this haha, I’m kind of proud of it? Editting it was a hassle tho. Anyways, hope ya’ll enjoy some Bakugou (or Bakugo however you want to spell it) angst.

“Congrats Kacchan!!!” Deku playfully slaps the back of his childhood friend.

His smile was bigger than ever. Around Bakugou was his former classmates all talking away in their own little space.

It's been a long time since they all got together since their graduation. Every time anyone tried to plan anything, at least one of them couldn’t make it. But after a big takedown on a pesky Mafia group on the other side of the globe, they all agreed to take a break and celebrate.

The mastermind of the entire operation was the number 1 hero himself, Katsuki Bakugou. “Without you, I don’t think we’d be able to crack the operation.” Kirishima walked over to them with an equally bright smile.

“Tsk, of course! You extras would’ve gotten nowhere without me!!!” The group laughed together.

Some things just never change when it comes to their anger issues ridden former classmate.

“Then I shall make a toast!” Iida spoke loud enough to make sure everyone heard his voice. Everyone nodded and raised a glass. “To Bakugou, for cracking the mystery of Banana Fish.”

“And to all of us who worked together to finally end Golzine’s reign.” With that, everyone cheered and took a sip from whatever drinks they were holding.

Soon enough, endless chatter filled the entire room.

Smiles, laughter, and giggles could be heard from any point of the room. Old friends reconciling with each other. Old lovers mending their relationships. And old enemies finally apologizing.

It felt foreign to Bakugou.

Not the fact that they were all getting along. It wasn’t that.

It was the fact that everyone knew they were missing someone incredibly important.

They weren’t here right now.

He observed the private club with a keen eye. There were bottles of random drinks on almost every table, shot glasses also littered there.

His former classmates were always responsible drinkers. But today, they took shots after shots. Bottle after bottle.

Even Iida seemed to always have a different drink in his hand every time Bakugou would glance over.

He knew; it wasn’t to celebrate. It was to make sure everyone was too tipsy to say anything that would ruin the mood. It was to make sure that no one brought ‘them’ up.

Afterall, their busy schedules weren’t the only thing that stopped them from getting back together and hanging out.

They held fear in their eyes any time the thought of getting together would cross their minds. The thought of having to come face to face with their greatest failure as a hero, friend, and classmate.

Bakugou knew the feeling all too well.

When he was alone, there were plenty of things he could do to prevent his mind from wandering too far. But whenever he’d come across Deku or Shoto in missions or patrol.

If he were to strike a conversation, there’d always be a small silence that would almost always lead to them bringing up the topic of ‘them’.

“Heyyyy bakubrooo you should relax, you seem a little tense!!!” Kirishima’s words slurred.

It was close to 2 am, the party had already died down a little bit.

Some of his more responsible friends are already long gone. Leaving behind either the ones who are passed out or waiting for their ride.

“Get that shit away from me shitty hair!” He huffed and pushed the half full bottle of some random alcohol his friend tried to hand to him.

“Oh, come one number one. You should loosen up!!! You looked more angry than usual this entire time!!!” Kirishima sat down on the couch beside Bakugou with a loud thud.

“I mean, doesn’t the number one hero deserve a break every once in a while? You deserve it Bakubro. You cracked this giant case!!! Without you, that guy with the purple mohawk could’ve died.”

Kirishima laughed, reminiscing all the sleepless nights he and Bakugou would spend just doing research and trying to gain information from anywhere they could.

He took another swig from the half-emptied bottle, “I don’t deserve the number one spot dumbass.”

Bakugou muttered barely above a whisper.

Even though Kirishima was beyond wasted, the fact that his usually guarded friend suddenly opened up sobered him. “Hey, don’t be like that Bakubro. I’m sure they’d want you to be happy.”

Kirishima tried his best to comfort his friend, to no avail.

“I’m going home.” Bakugou suddenly stood up. “Don’t drive dumbass.” With that he walked to leave the club and to his car, hearing Kirishima yell his response. “Got it!!!”

When he got home, he quickly changed out of the annoyingly formal attire, back to his normal everyday attire. A black tank top and sweatpants.

Bakugou fell onto his bed with a small thud, a sigh of exhaustion left his lips. “Damn shitty hair talking about shit that shouldn’t be talked about.”

There was an unspoken rule amongst anyone who knew the alumni’s situation.

Don’t talk about them, you’ll regret it.

After tossing and turning around, Bakugou realized. He couldn’t sleep.

“Fuck.”

It wasn’t a normal sight to see the hero not being able to sleep. He was so strict about his sleeping schedules too. But his mind can’t seem to leave what Kirishima said.

“I’m sure they’d want you to be happy.”

Who does Kirishima think he was? Talking about them like that. Who knows what they’d think of him right now? He broke his promise to always protect them. To always be by their side.

His head looked to the right. A bedside cabinet made out of wood, stood. Devoid of any decor and just with a single compartment.

A single object lies within that cabinet.

His mind argued with each other, debating whether or not to open it.

“Fuck it!”

If he regretted this decision, he’d deal with that later.

Sitting up on the side of his bed he looked solemnly towards the cabinet.

A shaking hand opened the compartment.

There was a single photo frame, the photo side facing down instead of up.

Before he could back down, he took the frame and flipped it to see the photo.

The photo gleamed at him. It was a pitiful reminder.

Overwhelming sadness and anger filled him, when he looked at the picture. Anger, frustration, longingness, sadness, it all came crashing down.

Before he knew it, stray tears fell from his eyes.

The photo was the last photo he ever took together with his high school sweetheart. The love of his life. The person he promised to marry one day. It was the last photo he ever took with you before the world took you away.

Before those villains attacked UA whilst he was in his 3rd year.

It was before he lost the most important person to a villain.

~

The battlefield was a mess. It had ended but it was still a mess. Random debris scattered around. Some of his classmates and other students from other classes were injured and bloody.

Most of the league had gone with Shigaraki through Kurogiri’s portal, but there’s no telling if someone had stayed. Especially that specific villain with an invisibility quirk.

He had proven to be a rather difficult enemy because of his quirk, but realizing he was outnumbered, he hadn’t showed himself at all. No one saw him walk through Kurogiri’s portal either.

Bakugou shoved that concern to the back of his mind, he had other things to concern himself over. One of the biggest was, finding you.

He needed to apologize. The other night you and he got into a pretty big argument. All because of his anger issues and his pride.

But he couldn’t find you anywhere. Knowing your teleportation quirk.

You’d probably be helping other people around. Helping people deal with debris, transporting different things, and overall doing what you can to relieve any burdens from both the teachers and the students.

He wasn’t really focused on anything. He thought the battle was over. He just needed to find you.

He let his guard down.

He didn’t notice the invisible villain appearing once more to stab him from behind.

He didn’t notice until it was too late.

An ear-splitting scream broke the relatively quiet mood. He knew that scream.

He knew that voice.

His head snapped to the back and everything seemed to have slowed.

He remembered the panic and fear in your eyes. When he noticed the blade embedded in your heart, anger covered his senses.

Another yell resonated in the air. This time it was his own.

Bakugou’s hand went to the villain’s face and blasted them to somewhere he couldn’t even bother to care.

His arms caught your limp body from falling to the cold ground.

The world seemed to turn gray around him. The only thing he could see was your figure on his arms.

Blood pooling from your wound.

The anger that he felt just moments before was quickly replaced by fear.

“WHY DID YOU DO THAT DUMBASS?!” the people around him froze.

You tried to mutter enough energy to at least say a word. Just a single word. “Sorry.” Your voice came in stutters. Followed by a cough of blood.

He felt your body in his hands growing heavier, your hand on his cheek fell to the ground.

“DUMBASS WAKE UP!!!” he didn’t know if it was the shock of the surprise attack or the fear that made his voice crack. “WAKE UP OR I’LL NEVER COOK YOU FOOD AGAIN.”

Your eyes were wide open, but they were cold, empty, unresponsive.

He let tears flow down freely. Now clutching your body against his chest.

“No please.” He wrapped his arms around your body one arm below the stab and another from the bottom, above the stab. “Please teddy bear. I’m sorry ok? I’m sorry. This is enough payback for the shit I said to you last night. So please ok? Please wake up.”

A few of your classmates already a sobbing mess on the ground.

“Please teddy bear, the prank is over. Please… wake up…” Kirishima’s hand on his shoulder broke his trance.

He looked up at his standing friend.

Kirishima saw the sight of his usual angry, stubborn, brave friend, turn weak. Tears were already pouring from Kirishima’s eyes. But he needed to be strong.

It wasn’t his place to breakdown when his best friend had lost the only person who was brave enough of taking the challenge of calming the beast.

“I’m sorry Bakubro.” Kirishima shook his head.

That was the thing that made Bakugou finally realize, you were gone. He screamed up to the sky, cursing whatever God had decided you’d sacrifice your own life for his. He was frustrated he couldn’t protect you.

Kirishima looked around, and he saw how much his classmates cared about him.

No one dared to move or utter a sound above a stifle of cries. No one knew how to react. For the first time in UA history, a student has died in the school’s premise. And that student, was you.

Though Kirishima couldn’t see all of his classmates. He was sure they’d be equally as devastated to hear what had happened. You were such an important part in their lives. To have yours be stripped away that easily was shocking.

You were a ball of sunshine that brought joy no matter what you were feeling or where you were.

But now you lie on the ground, cold.

That night, the entire class was reminded of the hard truth of being as self-sacrificing as you were. You’d sacrifice your sleep to tutor Denki. You’d sacrifice resting your aching muscles just to make everyone’s favourite dishes for dinner.

Now, you’ve sacrificed your life for your lover’s.

~

He wiped the clear frame from dust and took a closer look at it.

You took it the morning before the argument. It was breakfast and for some reason, you were awake as early as him, for the first time in forever.

You had one of your arms around his torso, hugging him from behind. A bright smile decorated your face as you looked at the camera. Bakugou on the other hand looked to the side with a scowl on his face.

He remembered, after taking that photo. You kissed his cheek and uttered a sweet good morning before making your own breakfast. You didn’t miss the pink hue that decorated his cheeks. Your teasing giggles filled the room.

God, the things he’d give up just to hear your giggles again.

“You’ll never get hurt as long as I’m around.”

“Shut up dumbass, you won’t get hurt. I’ll protect you.”

“I won’t let anyone harm you.”

Those were just some promises he had made to himself and to you.

But now, here he was regretting the fact that his very last conversation with you was a useless back and forth of insults.

If he could turn back time and sacrifice himself, he would.

Bakugou placed the frame down and opened his phone, hoping for some sort of distraction. He wasn’t ready to completely face it yet. Though, everything online only fuelled his self-loathing

There were articles everywhere about how the number one hero Ground Zero otherwise known as Katsuki Bakugou, had saved the lives of thousands of people by cracking a giant drug market.

They all praised him. They all agreed he deserved the spot.

But did he really?

He didn’t think that such a title can be for him. Someone who broke all the promises he ever made to you.

How could he be the number one hero when the only person who was able to control him whilst loving him unconditionally died because of him.

[hongnanglen-arina]

The Ulzzang Project - Part 4 | Jeon Wonwoo

Read part 3 Read part 5

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Genre: fluff, a little suggestive here and there

Pairing: Jeon Wonwoo x female reader

Warnings: alcohol, jealousy, heated moments? just two confused people plus jeonghan haha

Words: 3.6k

A/N: Hi! Here’s part 4. Wow... never thought I would write this much.. I wanted it to be a mini series but seems like it’s getting longer and longer.. anyways, hope you’ll like it ♡

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“Seungkwan doesn’t have as many followers as us but they do have a lot and considering they only post sweet and lovely photos… maybe we don’t need sexy photos at all?”

“But wasn’t it about seeing how many followers we can get within a month? Where is your fighting spirit, y/n?” Wonwoo removed his pajama pants and sat down beside you on the couch, looking at you. You agreed to take the photos Wonwoo once suggested. His hand on your bare thigh. His opinion was that it would attract people even more when his legs beside yours were bare too. Seeing no problem in this, you just said yes. Giving him a mischievous grin, you closed the app, locked your phone, set it aside and took another big gulp from your beer. When you wanted to lower your can, you felt your best friend’s hand on top of yours, grabbing the can and moving it in front of his own lips to drink. In your drunken state, you could only giggle but watched him swallow and groan in satisfaction when it tickled down his throat. 

He noticed your stare and smirked. “What’s wrong?” His rather innocent question didn’t fit the way he was looking at you. Feeling his warm hand on your thigh, you didn’t lower your gaze, instead your eyes fixated on his lips when he opened it a little to lick the corner. Jeon Wonwoo really wanted to test your patience.

Quickly, you cleared your throat and pulled your beer off his hand with a a flustered “That’s mine.”

Wonwoo chuckled but let it slide, squeezing your thigh. “Shall we start then?”

As you felt his eyes on you, you decided to tease him too, moving his hand higher so that his little finger was slightly grazing your dark panties. He stopped in his tracks and waited for you, for any sign and it seemed as if he stopped breathing. What was he expecting you wondered but chose to continue with your previous plan.

“Thought you were going to take photos? Not interested anymore?”

His eyes switched between your face and his hand on you and it amused you how his glasses slowly slid down the bridge of his nose in the process. Leaning closer and using your hand to push up his glasses, you made sure to graze his skin with your fingers. He was hypnotized, letting you do as you pleased. You two didn’t say anything for a while, heads clouded because of the alcohol you already had, cheeks flushed because of the closeness. 

You noticed his jaw clench, his chest rise, his adam’s apple bob while you looked at each other.

That was when you started to snicker and soon Wonwoo joined you.

Maybe if it wasn’t for the laughter, it could have ended differently. There was still some kind of tension between you but it was comfortable enough to make jokes and exchange playful glares here and there. Just like always.

After a bunch of photos later, you were in your last pose for today. You suggested to straddle him so you could take photos to hint at something even less innocent. It was more a joke but Wonwoo agreed to it without any sign of hesitation. Sitting down on his lap, you automatically bit your lip as your panties met his boxer briefs, the fabrics so thin you could swore you felt him as if you two weren’t wearing anything. Feeling him below you was different. You could see it in his eyes, he felt the same.

“M-maybe it would be more ‘impactful’ if… this here is off.”

He pointed at your oversized shirt that belonged to your friend and you nodded. He was right. Without saying anything, you pulled it over your head and threw it behind him and the couch, looking into his eyes and trying to suppress a grin when his gaze dropped to your chest for a split second. But it was long enough for you to notice and when your eyes locked again, you couldn’t help but to wiggle your brow at him, causing him to snort.

“What, I’m a man with needs you know?” He retorted as he was unlocking his phone to start taking the last photos.

“Needs? What kind of needs? Need a girlfriend?”

“…maybe.”

“Thought your hand was enough?”

“Wow, it’s not the same though?”

“Tell me what’s different then.”

Wonwoo lowered his phone and let his eyes wander through the room.

“My hand can’t replace a whole body, a whole person. It’s so much better when you feel soft hands on your body, the heat that radiates the other against yours. You know, only hearing mewls and whines are a huge turn on. But alone here, I have to imagine it. If I use my hand or a toy, I can’t finish without imagining someone doing it or being in front of me. God, what I would do for someone scratching over my skin or biting down on it. It’s been too long.” He opened his eyes and searched for yours, shrugging as he continued. “See? My hand can’t make me happy for the long run. It can’t fulfill all the needs.”

Apparently the alcohol in his system helped him talk about this topic almost in detail. You sometimes talked about it when you weren’t tipsy or drunk but it was always a normal talk or with teasing and jokes. But right now he seemed serious, sad even. Although his confession made you flustered, it made you curious a well. “Do you like someone?”

His eyes widened at your question. “What?”

“You said you would imagine someone while jerking off. Is it someone I know?”

“Uhm…. you… could say so.”

Wiggling on his lap, you giggled. “Little Wonwoo is in love hehehe… does she know?”

You didn’t notice how his body stiffened at your motions, sweat forming on his forehead as he tried to concentrate on something else than your hips and soft skin. “U-uhm… don’t think so.”

“Tell me who it is and I will be your matchmaker. Let me tell you, I’m very good at this. And because you’re my bestie, I don’t want anything in return. Just stay my bestie and make time for me once in a while.” Smiling at him you see sweat on his temples and innocently touch it with your fingertips. Absentmindedly wiping them off while you waited for his reply, Wonwoo opened his mouth.

“Y/n?”

You stopped and gave him your full attention but when he was about to speak, your phone chimed. When you didn’t budge, he cocked his head in the direction of your phone and you took it. 

It was a message from Jeonghan.

[Jeonghan] Is my princess already asleep?

“Princess?” The annoyed sound in Wonwoo’s voice made you look up from your phone. “He calls you princess?”

You quickly locked your phone and threw it away, making a grimace. “He just reminded me of the presentation. God I hate uni.” Holding onto your best friend’s shoulders, you wanted to get up but his hands were faster, holding your hips down on him. “I asked you something.”

Suddenly he wasn’t slurring the words anymore and you could hear your heartbeat. The way Wonwoo looked at you was different. He seemed serious and a little angry.

“I… don’t know why, Wonwoo. It’s the first time he did.”

He studied your face for a couple of seconds before nodding. You were telling the truth. Feeling his hands loosening their grip on your, you finally got up from his lap, stretching your limbs in front of him in just your underwear. You had your photos so you could call it a day, plus you felt sleepy.

“Maybe he likes me?” You winked at the boy on the couch and noticed his jaw clench. “Oh, is little Wonwoo envious two people might have found their significant other? Or is little Wonwoo jealous?”

Wonwoo’s brows furrow and before he could reach up to you, you laughed and ran off to the bathroom, him following you, calling your name.

—

Breathing heavily, Wonwoo and you were lying in his bed. After being chased around his apartment and being tickled to death, you told him he won and swore you would never tease him like this again. You didn’t mean it but otherwise he would have never stopped, you were sure.

Being in his arms again under the blanket, you inhaled his scent. It was always so soothing. It relaxed your mind whenever you were like this. That was the reason you loved to sleep at his place. Your mind was at peace and you weren’t able to recharge like this at any other place. Even at your own home.

“So. When you jerk off, what are you thinking about? What is the girl you like doing in your imagination? Just watching you or telling you what to do?”

He groaned. “Thought you’re sleepy?”

“I am! But I’m also curious!”

“I’ll tell you tomorrow or so. Now sleep.”

“I won’t sleep if you won’t tell me! Say, or are you imagining her hand touching you instead?Watching how you come undone? Maybe even telling you some dirty stuff? Naughty stuff you like?”

Your head was resting against his chest and you noticed how his heartbeat quickened at your words. “Ohhh I am right??”

Wonwoo shifted and got up. “Yah, where are you going??”

“I need to pee,” he answered and left you alone in the bedroom, his warmth gone. In the dim moonlight you couldn’t see much but enough to watch him leave the room and you lowered your head again, pouting on his pillow.

While waiting for him to come back, you didn’t know that your best friend washed his face with cold water.

It took him around 10 minutes until he walked back into the bedroom, just to find your sleeping form on his bed. Sighing relieved, he carefully joined you, trying not to wake you up. When you were back on his chest, he watched your relaxed facial expression. The moonlight was shining on your face so perfectly he could see you very clearly. 

For him you were more than beautiful. 

For him you were more than a best friend.

The realization hit him over the last couple of days. The last push he needed was today. He felt comfortable with you and only you. Comfortable enough to show his true form, his weaknesses but also his nerdy side. The conversations, the way you were seated on his lap, everything was perfect. Also the way his mood changed when Jeonghan texted you. It made everything clear to him. He needed only one thing. The last answer to be 100 percent sure about it.

You had a little smile on your lips, your small hands on his stomach as he leaned in closer, stopping right in front of your face. “I’m sorry y/n but I have to do this.” His voice was a whisper, still careful not to interrupt your sleep. Wonwoo tilted your head a bit and closed the gap, connecting his lips to yours. 

It was a soft kiss. Not too much pressure. He just had the urge to be closer to you and also to get his answer.

And he did.

—

Scratching your head, you slowly walked back to Wonwoo who was still in bed, covering his face with his arms because it was too bright. It was a sunny day. You stopped and got a better look on your best friend. The blanket loosely wrapped around his lower half, his chest bare and moving up and down steadily. 

Smiling, you got your phone and opened the photo app, sneakily adjusting and taking a photo but the shutter sound was too loud that it woke Wonwoo up. You had covered your mouth and when Wonwoo removed one arm from his head, he groaned, his eyes meeting yours.

“What are you doing y/n?”

His voice was low and raspy and made you forget everything for a split second. As you found your voice again, you stepped closer to him and pulled the blanket off his body. “Wake up! Uni is calling!”

“Oh god…” Wonwoo groaned again, cursing under his breath and turned away from you, trying to get some more sleep. And he thought he won when you didn’t complain. It was quiet in the room so he fell into a slumber again. The thought of you in his arms as he was deepening the kiss.

“GET UP WONUUU!!” Suddenly he felt your body jump on top of his, causing him to violently being pulled out of his dream with you. 

“I’m gonna skip the whole day. I want to stay here.” His voice had an annoyed undertone.

You looked at his face, his eyes squeezed shut while his hands were searching for the blanket which was on the floor. That was when an idea popped up in your head.

“So you want Jeonghan to pick me up?”

Wonwoo opened one eye. “He would greet me with ‘Hey princess! How did you sleep?’”

Wonwoo opened the other eye too, letting you hear his raspy voice again. “What are you hinting at?”

You inched closer and propped yourself up with one arm beside his head. The way he was blinking at you was cute. Showing him your phone, you waited for his reaction.

You had posted the photo that you just took of him in bed. Also edited a bit to match the overall color palette and style of your shared account. You weren’t as good as him at this but you thought it was good enough to post.

His eyes moved lower to see the text you had added to it.

I liked everything about last night. Love you, baby.

All of a sudden, Wonwoo was wide awake.

“Y/n…”

Locking your phone, you smiled at him, hiding your shyness with a change of topic. “So, get up before I’ll call Jeonghan.”

He whispered your name again, tried to stop you and get an explanation of what it was all about when you got up and quickly left the bedroom. A little confused, he grabbed his phone. It was almost 11.

Maybe he would get some answers out of you when he followed you. Stretching his limbs a bit, he slowly got up and ruffled his hair, putting on his glasses. Somehow he had a feeling today was going to be different and he wasn’t sure if it was a good or bad thing.

—

When you two got ready for the day and made your way to uni, both of you were quieter than usual. Maybe it was the fact that you were sleep deprived or the alcohol was still in your system. Maybe both. But every time you looked at Wonwoo, you became nervous and shy. This morning you thought it would be fun to tease him back after his posts. That you could write something similar as well. Just as a joke because that was what he did. But right now, almost 2 hours later, you had the urge to delete the post or just change the text but that would be suspicious, or not?

Chewing on your lower lip, you sat with your friends on campus. 

Peeking over to Wonwoo who was watching Hoshi play a game on his phone, you sucked at your strawberry lollipop, pushing it from side to side. Actually you thought he was sleepy but comparing to him with Hoshi now, he was only quiet with you. Maybe you needed some kind of talk with your best friend to clear the air. A faint voice in your head had an idea what the reason was. 

“I can’t believe you two skipped the first lectures for a good drink and forgot about inviting me. You know, speaking of pros and cons of living alone. I’m disappointed y/n!”

“Dokyeom, you should blame that guy over there! It’s his apartment after all!”

“I have a name.” Wonwoo looked up from Hoshi’s phone and your breath hitched when your eyes locked.

“Wonwoo, why didn’t you invite me? You hate me that much?”

Seungkwan was laughing when Dokyeom rushed to Wonwoo, grabbing his shoulders and shaking him back and forth. “Beware, he might kill you, Dokyeom,” he warned.

“Yah it was a very spontaneous meet-up and it was late already. Next time I’ll invite you. Cool?”

Dokyeom stopped the shaking and thought for a second before hugging him from behind with a wide smile. “Cool!”

You grinned more to yourself when you noticed the soft smile on Wonwoo’s lips. Suddenly there were screams and cheers and you and your friends looked in the direction of the source just to see the infamous most wanted man on campus making his way to your little group.

“He’s coming to us?”

“What does he want?”

“He’s y/n’s presentation partner.” Wonwoo answered shortly.

“Oh..” Seungkwan and Hoshi reacted almost in unison.

When Jeonghan stood in front of your friends and you, he bowed slightly. “Hi, mind if I have a little talk with this pretty princess here?”

Oops.

Automatically your eyes flew over to your best friend’s face and you could see how he was trying to keep his composure. Even Dokyeom who was still hugging him noticed it and looked at Wonwoo with a questioning expression.

To make the situation less worse, you quickly got up and waved Jeonghan over to an empty bench on the other side of the sidewalk, away from your friends. Ignoring the fanclub that was following you.  

“Uhm.. so what do you want to talk about, Jeonghan? We are going to meet up later anyways. You don’t have time then?” You sat down and waited as he took the seat next to you.

“Oh I have time for you always, don’t worry. I wanted to talk about something else. Maybe you already know that I’m quite popular on social media…”

“Also on campus I guess,” you added and he nodded happily.

“Yeah, but after posting a photo of you, people keep pestering me who it is and what our relationship status is. So I wanted to talk to you.” The smile was still on his lips while he looked at you and you wished you could escape this conversation. Especially because you could feel your friend’s gazes on you. 

“Uhm.. we are working on a presentation together. Nothing serious.”

“Are you sure?” Jeonghan’s question had no undertone, yet his smirk told you otherwise.

“What do you mean?” This guy was strange. When Jeonghan didn’t answer your question but started to open his bag instead, you looked around, meeting the gazes of his fanclub, nearly everyone glaring at you.

“Here, this is for you. Don’t want my princess to lose weight.” He pulled out two Onigiri’s and handed them to you, causing two girls to squeal loudly.

“Oh my god! I deserve his attention more than this ugly girl. I thought he has high standards?”

Okay that hurt.

You wanted to get up but Jeonghan’s hand on your arm stopped you. With a soft but slightly angry tone, he said, “Baby, don’t say that to y/n, she’s one of my precious candidates. And you know what happens to people mistreating the people I like, hm?”

“B-but oppa! Look at her! Look at me!”

He made a tsk-sound and shook his head, making her stop with his index finger held high. “Uh uh, leave y/n alone. This conversation is over.”

Looking down at the food Jeonghan gave you, you weren’t sure what to say or if you should just keep quiet. But Jeonghan helped you decide when he got up with an apologetic expression on his face. “It’s better if I leave now. Meet me later at the cafe, okay princess?”

Not sure what to say, you nodded and watched him leave with his fanclub. You still had to process what just happened. One of all the things was stuck in your head. How Jeonghan called that girl ‘baby’.

Baby. The nickname Wonwoo used to call you ever since you started your shared Instagram. Strangely he hadn’t for a while and you wondered why. Somehow you liked this word on his tongue more than you wanted to admit to yourself. You thought by writing ‘baby’ under your latest post, you would lessen the tension between you and your best friend but you were wrong. It was still the same.

Sighing, you got up and walked over to your friends, noticing that Dokyeom and Wonwoo weren’t there anymore. Seeing your expression, Seungkwan explained, “Dino’s in trouble again. Those two went rescuing him again. This boy won’t ever learn.”

You nodded. Seemed like this was the only way you could interact today. You were too confused. Just the thought of meeting Jeonghan later again for your project made you sick.

Suddenly, Seungkwan gasped loudly and shoved his phone in your face and your mouth opened without saying anything when you saw the reason of his behavior. 

“It took me a while to put the pieces together but… isn’t this you and Wonwoo?”

On his phone, your shared account was open, showing you the photo Wonwoo took when you were seated in his lap last night. Your shoulder bare since the angle he chose didn’t reveal your strapless bra. He wasn’t wearing anything as well. His face pressed against your collarbone, only showing his sharp but hooded eyes which were half covered with his bangs, teasing the camera.

“She tastes so good.” Hoshi read the text of the post.

Your face was burning. You never intended your friends to find out. Where the hell was Jeon Wonwoo when shit was going down?!

“Uh…. uhm… I…”

“No chance to deny it, y/n. You are wearing the exact same earrings today and those are Wonwoo’s eyes for sure. Mind to explain?”

[avenirdelight]

Home

Harry Kane

"Babe, I'm home!" Harry closed the front door. After leaving his suitcase in the hallway, he went to the living room, the kitchen, and the study room, but she was nowhere to be found. The house was so quiet. When he couldn't find her in the bedroom, he started to panic.

He grabbed his phone and started calling her as he checked the entire second floor. But her number was inactive. He went back to the bedroom to check if her bag was there; she wouldn't leave the house with her white sling bag. And she definitely would have told him if she was going anywhere.

But then, Harry heard a small sob. He stopped everything he was doing, trying to figure out where the sound came from. He heard it once again, and started making his way to their walk-in closet. He slowly opened the door and immediately felt the biggest relief.

There she was in the closet, curled up in the corner against the shelves, covered in his sweatshirts and hoodies. It smelled like his perfume there. She was wearing his favorite hoodie, the one that he always wore at home. Her hair was put up in a messy bun. She had airpods in her ears and a glass of wine in her hand. His heart sank when he realised she was crying.

"Baby, are you okay?" Harry rushed to her side. She was astounded, looking at him like she was seeing a ghost. He carefully took the wine glass from her hand and put it aside before taking the airpods off from her ears "What are you doing here? Why are you crying? What's the matter, love?"

"You're home?" she said softly, still couldn't believe that Harry was already home. She held his face with both of her hands, tracing his nose with her fingers. "Baby, you're home!"

Harry couldn't help but chuckle. Her voice always got a pitch higher when she was tipsy. And if she was tipsy and sad, she would be the clingiest person ever.

"I am home, come here," he spread his arms for her and she crawled into his lap. He wrapped his arms around her as she snuggled into his chest. "You okay, baby?"

"I've missed you so much. You've been away for too long, baby," she complained. "I had a bad day today and I'm upset because you're not here."

"Oh, I'm sorry, love. But I'm here now. I've missed you too," he said as he pampered her with kisses on her head. "Let me see that beautiful face."

She raised her head and Harry found her beautiful eyes. He caressed her cheek before placing a soft kiss on her lips, earning a soft sad whimper from her.

"Hey, I'm hungry. Shall we order sushi? Then we can cuddle and watch a movie," he suggested. She nodded, agreeing to the appealing idea. She missed being comfortably cuddled to him on the sofa until she fell asleep. She was sure that it was going to happen tonight as she already felt tired from the crying she had done for the past hour.

"I also need ice cream and more and more of your kisses," she said.

Harry chuckled as he leaned in for another kiss. "You can have it as much as you want."

—

My Masterlist🤍

[ohsugar-honey-iced-tea]

A drunken mess pt. 1

Ina has had too much to drink. Welcome to a very drunk Ina! I had fun writing her like this, and I hope you will like it too. It's a little short, but I did my best.

Enjoy!

@kulaykape @citybornchick @thedaft1 @kwekwek @astrangeandunusualgirl @domakir @dopeyouth

-------------------------------------------------------

Ina and Bella were sitting in their livingroom together. Bella couldn't even look at Ina, she was way too mad at her for that. "Sweetheart, come on, please talk to me" but she was greeted with an angry glare. Ina had been keeping Bella awake all night, because it might have been possible that she had a few too much drinks. And you couldn't exactly call it 'tipsy', no, she was DRUNK. Bella had never seen Ina drunk before, and man did she wish she hadn't last night.

"Come on babe... what all happened last night that made you so upset? I mean it couldn't have been that bad, right?"

That got Bella's attention.

"Well, where do you want to start? Crying over seatbelts, worrying about yout feet or keeping me up all night? Let me tell you exactly what happened"

...

It was almost 1am when Ina and Bella came home. They had game night over at Lillians place. Appearantely it's tradition for Ina and Lillian to do a sort of drinking game together. Bella had a long day of classes tomorrow, so she passed. However, it was Ina'a day off tomorrow, so she and Lillian started playing. Lillian was winning the game, and only had to take tree shots. Ina, however, took so many shots that Bella lost count.

When Bella sat Ina down in the car, she was unsurprisingly happy. For some reason, she kept telling Bella about how great she found the bouncy balls in her childhood, and then all of the sudden started crying.

"What's wrong, Ina?"

*sniff* "I-I just realised....."

"What?"

".....MY FAVORITE BOUNCY BALL WAS LOST IN A TERRIBLE ACCIDENT. I ACCIDENTELY DROPPED IT OUT OF THE CAR WINDOW WHILE SHOWING IT THE WORLD AND MY PARENTS DIDN'T EVEN STOP TO GRAB IT"

*starts ugly crying while not even being in the car for 4 minutes*

'Oh, this will be a long, long night' Bella thought, while preparing herself for what would happen when they got home.

...

When they finally arrived home, Bella stepped out of the car, but found Ina struggling with the seatbelt.

"BABE HELP, THERE IS A BLACK SNAKE TRYING TO KEEP ME HERE FOR EVER-"

"Babe, that's just your seatbelt--"

"I'M TOO YOUNG TO GET KILLED BY A SNAKE" *starts crying again* "okay, let's get you out of here." Bella helps Ina get out of the car, and Ina supports herself on her while trying to get to the door. By this time, Ina's vision was blurry.

"BABE HELP, THERE ARE TREE DOORS, WHAT IF ITS A TRAP AND I WALK IN THE WRONG DOOR AND I'LL BE FORCED TO MAKE PUPPITS OUT OF POTATOES FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE?"

"What are you talking about?? Just follow me, and try to be quiet, it's almost 1.30!"

"I AM QUIET' *puts finger on her lips* "SHHHHHHHHHHH" "...babe, next time I could go for fewer saliva" she said as she wiped her face clean.

Dexter woke up from the loud sounds coming from Ina, and hid himself behind the table from her.

Bella managed to open the door, and made Ina sit down on the couch. "Oh my.... this sure is a lovely couch" Ina said, as she started sitting on it in a lot of stupid positions. She managed to get her legs pointing to the ground, arms over her head and head upside down, so she basically sat 180° wrong on the couch.

"Babe, what on earth are you doing?"

"Just thinking..... DO YOU REMEMBER SCAR FROM THE LION KING? HE WAS VERY MISUNDERSTOOD"

"Ina, let's sit up straight first, and then-"

But Bella was interrupted by Ina. She stood up, grabbed a pear from the fruitbowl to use as a microphone, and started singing.

"BE PREPARED FOR THE DEATH OF THE KING! BE PREPARED, BE PREPAAAA- OOF!!!"

She accidentely bumped into the dining table, and falling backwards. She fell on her back, before Bella. She could only see Bella's feet before her eyes.

".....BABE HELP, MY FEET FELL OF!"

"Those are my feet, you idiot!"

"THEN WHY DO YOU HAVE FOUR FEET?"

"Babe, there are only 2-"

"MY GIRLFRIEND IS TURNING INTO A SPIDER! HOW CAN I EVER KISS AND LOVE YOU NOW"

Tears started to form in Ina's eyes again.

".....okay we need to sober you up, now! How about some coffee and crackers?"

"......crackers?" Ina got an annoyed look in her eyes "We're in the middle of a serious problem and your solution is crackers?"

"Not just crackers..." she takes a bag of animal crackers out of the food cabinet. "Animal crackers!!"

Ina shot up from the floor, eyes wide at the bag of animal crackers and started to smile. "ANIMAL CRACKERSSSSSS" she took the bag, but accidentely dropped it. "NOOO!! YOU DROPPED THEM!! NOW THE ANIMALS WILL BE PARALISED FOREVER!" Bella started to see tears in Ina's eyes again, and quickly got the bag off the ground and got her some. "Here, and drink some coffee." "Thanks, pal!" Bella facepalmed herself, wishing she were in bed.

...

"Okay, Ina. It's 3.20. It's not funny anymore, we're going to bed." Dexter gave Bella a thankful look, as he started walking towards his pillow, ready to snuggle up with his squeaky pear. However, Ina had other plans. "Bella, I am your proffesol- proffersena- pruffen--- I TEACH YOU! SO YOU SHALL LISTEN TO ME!" Ina got a serious look on her face. "Bella..... I. Am. Your. Father" and she shook her arms as if she was holding a lightsaber. "Ina no! It's no time to act like Darth Vader!" "Whyy do all the villains wear masks? It's so strange...." oh no. Bella could see where this was going. Ina placed her right hand on the right side of her face, and started to sing. "LOVEEE MEEEEE.... THAT'S ALL I ASK OF... NOOOOOO DO NOT LOOK AT MY FACE!" At this point, Bella wasn't sure if she wanted to scream or laugh.

...

"BABE REMEMBER ALF? HE WAS FROM MELMAC AND ATE CATS! HE WAS SO COOL!"

"Ina, that was popular decades ago! I'm not going to talk to you about Alf when it's 4.30 in the morning!"

"I'M BATMAAAANNN-" Ina said in a deep voice.

"THAT'S IT WE'RE GOING TO BED NOW"

...

After Bella finally got Ina into bed, she was hopeful that she had fallen asleep. But unfortunately, she wasn't that lucky.

"Do you know what's a funny word?" Ina said excitedly.

Bella groaned. "What?"

"GEODE! LIKE FROM GEOGRAPHY!"

"Ina, please, just close your-"

"GEEEEEODE.....GEE..ODE...GE! ode..."

Ina tapped Bella on her shoulder

"Bella, Bella! GEODE! ISN'T THIS JUST WONDERFUL? GEOMETRY WAS SO UNDERRATED, IT MUST HAVE BEEN BULLIED BY MATHS AND BIOLOGY. IT HAD A RELATIONSHIP WITH SCIENCE, BUT SCIENCE FELL IN LOVE WITH PHYSICS AND THEY RAN AWAY TOGETHER"

"INA IT'S ALMOST 5 AM! PLEASE JUST GO TO SLEEP"

She heard Ina sniffle.

".....do you still love me?"

"Of course I do. With every inch of my body. But for now I just want to sleep"

Ina started poking Bella's face.

"Ooooohhhh look at this face. Look at those. I loveeeeee this face"

She started biting her face

"INA STOP DON'T BITE ME"

"BUT YOU'RE DELICIOUS"

"JUST GO TO SLEEP, INA"

...

When it was 5.45, Ina finally went to sleep. Bella got 1 and a half hour of sleep, not being able to sleep any more because of Ina's snoring. Normally she didn't snore, but she did if she was this drunk. So, she went to their couch and joined Dexter in the livingroom. He looked at her with sad eyes when he heard Ina's snores coming out of the bedroom.

"I'm sorry, buddy. Come here"

And with that, Dexter joined her on the couch and they tried to get a little bit of sleep.

...

After hearing from Bella how she was last night, she hid her face in her hands. "Bella, I'm sorry-" "you made Dexter cranky! Just look at the poor thing!" Ina looked over at Dexter, and he was looking very angry at her. "I'm not mad, I just need a moment now" and with that, she dissapeared in the bedroom.

Ina looked at the floor, frowning. The she stood up, got some pain killers, and started walking towards Dexter.

"Come on, Dex... you can't be that mad at me too, right?" But Dexter walked away from her. 'Well, Kingsley, you know what they say. Dissapoint a dog... and you are a pathetic loser' she thought to herself. She needed to make it up to Bella. So she grabbed her wallet and keys, and went out to buy a few things for Bella.

...

A few hours later, Bella came out of the livingroom with Dexter walking besides her, after they both have taken a much needed nap.

"Ina? Where are you?"

Ina appeared, and she had a big teddy bear with a heart that said 'I love you beary much' and a box of chocolates in one hand, and a bag ful of dog treats in the other hand.

"Hello, everyone. I apologise for how I've been acting last night. I've had too much to drink, and it made me show unacceptable behaviour. I'm sorry." She said this, and had the biggest pout on her face.

".....how can I stay annoyed with you when you are this cute? Come here."

Bella openee her arms, and Ina gladly went to her. She picked Dexter up and gave him a kiss on his nose.

"I do hope you can forgive me, buddy"

Dexter looked a long time at Ina, but gave her a lick on her cheek after a while. Ina and Bella started to chuckle.

"I'll take that as a yes, then."

Together, they enjoyed a happy and cuddly day. Ina made Bella promise to stop her from drinking this much next time.

"You are a big girl, I'm sure you can handle yourself."

"Well, appearantely not, otherwise my hangover wouldn't be this bad."

"Another thing that might help is pearjuice, they say the sweet flavors take the pain away" Bella said, and gave her a bottle of pearjuice."

"Well, you know what they say" Ina said. "A pear a day keeps the hangover away"

"How's that working for you now?"

"....no comment"

The end

[pellucidity-is-me]

Did it Hurt the Pig?

Summary: Remus has a very important question about Transfiguration as it pertains to living things. This is from chapter 23 in my longer fanfiction (Flirting with Ghosts), and I figured it would work as a very sad little one-shot. Link in bio description if you want to read the whole thing.

Wordcount: 1441

Remus loved Hogwarts.

His friends—yes, he had actual, real-live friends—were named James and Sirius, and they each accumulated two detentions before double Transfiguration that afternoon. They were troublemakers, and now they seemed to be drunk on mischief. 

Remus had not known that mischief was alcoholic, but he seemed to be a bit tipsy himself. He had laughed so hard in the past couple of hours that his head felt buzzy and his brain felt light. He’d never laughed this hard—not ever.

The Marauders ambled down the corridor, casually bumping into each other and joking as they went, and then took their seats in Transfiguration. They sat next to each other, as usual, and the feeling of being so close and casual with his friends was pure euphoria in Remus' eyes. Nothing could spoil it—though Remus knew that saying such a phrase, even in his own head, was bound to be awful foreshadowing. "That toad of yours—wouldn't it be great if he found himself in the bed of a first-year girl one morning?" asked James with glee.

Remus, who loved his pet toad very much, immediately sobered. He'd been right; it had been foreshadowing. "No. You are not using Bufo to prank people. They might squish him."

"You're no fun," Sirius pouted.

"Least I don't mumble to myself about what an amazing person I am when I fly broomsticks."

James groaned and punched Remus' arm lightly. "You are an awful person, Remus Lupin," he said, and Remus began to feel tipsy again.

"All right, settle down," said McGonagall sharply. Remus stopped giggling (with much effort). "Today we are going to be discussing transforming living things," continued McGonagall: "Watch carefully, now."

She pulled her wand out from her robes and pointed it at her desk. The desk seemed to pulse and twist—less than two seconds later, it had fully transformed into a living, breathing pig. James gasped a little from Remus' right. Remus gasped too, but for a very different reason. His head was beginning to get buzzy again... and laughter was no longer the cause of his symptoms.

McGonagall waved her wand again, and then the pig was once more a desk. "Brilliant," James muttered. McGonagall heard him, but she granted him a tight, pleased smile instead of reprimanding him.

Remus felt a little ill.

"We won't be doing anything like this until the end of the year, when we transform mice to snuffboxes," said McGonagall. "Living transfigurations are extraordinarily difficult. I'd like to discuss the theory, though. Open your textbooks to page eighty-one."

Remus did not move.

"Come on, Rem," said James. He reached over and flipped Remus' textbook open for him. "Are you ill or something? This is so cool!"

Remus did not think so.

McGonagall lectured and wrote on the board in chalk; Remus heard James scribbling notes on a piece of parchment fervently and Sirius teasing James for taking notes like a "dumb schoolgirl". Remus was amazed that he could hear anything, though, given the ocean noises dominating his ears.

The image of the poor pig, his legs folding in, his bones melting and reforming, his whole body turning to wood in the span of a few seconds, the odd liquifying of his pink body... it would not leave Remus' vision.

He vaguely heard McGonagall stop lecturing. "Mr. Lupin, are you quite all right?"

Remus shook his head to rid it of the ocean noises. He realized too late that it had seemed that he had been shaking his head no to McGonagall's question.

"What's wrong, then?" McGonagall asked.

"Er," said Remus. He needed to ask. He needed to ask without giving himself away, but he didn't know how. "Er, Professor..." He tried to come up with just the right phrasing, but the quest was fruitless. It was useless. Remus decided—against his better judgement—to throw caution to the wind.

"Did that hurt the pig?"

McGonagall's eyes narrowed, and Sirius snickered under his breath. Remus realized that Sirius thought that he was joking; trying to waste time so that the class would have to do less work... Remus decided that Sirius' assumption was better than the alternative, so he let a weak laugh of his own escape his lips. It sounded very forced, much to his chagrin.

McGonagall's features suddenly softened, and Remus hoped with all his heart that she did not realize why he was asking. Oh, who was he kidding? Of course she realized why he was asking! In the eyes of the Hogwarts staff, the fact that Remus transformed into a wolf every month was his defining trait.

"No," said McGonagall slowly.

"How do you know?" Remus said, pushing his luck. He had to know. "I mean, it's got to hurt. Pigs' skin isn't meant to turn into wood. Pigs are very different from desks... their bone structure and all. And desks are inanimate objects. Why wouldn't it hurt? Pigs are... pigs. Not desks..."

Remus mentally slapped himself. Here he was, admitting to McGonagall that the transformation every month was literally torture. He felt his cheeks grow red, and the ocean noises returned with vigor. "Just... just wondering, that's all," he said, and faked another laugh in order to keep his cover in front of his peers. He didn't think that it had worked, but perhaps...?

McGonagall seemed to be thinking very hard. "That... is a good question, Lupin. Compassionate, and with sound reasoning." At long last, she looked him in the eyes, and Remus looked away in spite of himself. "Ten points to Gryffindor." It seemed that all the points that Remus was receiving for Gryffindor were out of pity. Remus felt ashamed, even though he knew that shame wasn't the proper response to earning points for his House.

"I think I can take a few minutes to explain the answer." McGonagall walked up to the blackboard and erased it as she spoke. "There are a few different types of magic, as you've learned in Defense Against the Dark Arts. There's light magic, and then there's jinxes, hexes, and... curses." Remus noted her hesitation and tapped his finger under his desk anxiously.

"Transfiguration spells are known as light magic purely because they are not harmful in nature. They do not hurt the transformee because they are designed as such. Spell design is a complicated process, as is the process of transfiguration itself. It takes much focus and intention; painful unintended consequences, therefore, are very rare. We will only use light magic in this class, Lupin. You don't have to worry about any of the spells harming the recipient in any way—in fact, I go through all of the incorrectly-transformed animals myself after every class and correct the transfiguration. No animals will ever be harmed in my class... unless a student is not careful and steps on a beetle during our beetle-to-buttons unit in second year. That has, I'm afraid, happened before."

Some of the students giggled. Remus knew that they were laughing at the beetle comment, but he felt as if they were laughing at him... he sunk lower in his chair ever so slightly. He hated talking about—or even alluding to—his transformations. "That makes sense, Professor; thank you."

McGonagall was now carefully studying Remus' face, which was even worse than the previous awkward avoidance. Remus tried to look nonchalant. After a very uncomfortable moment (that was probably less than three seconds, but felt like three hours), James raised his hand. "So there are types of transfiguration that are Dark, and do hurt the subject?" he asked, and Remus froze. He mentally begged McGonagall to avoid the subject. Maybe if he thought hard enough, he would discover himself to be a Legilimens....

"Yes, Mr. Potter, but we will not be learning about such magic in this class," she said. "I don't believe that magic like that is ever acceptable. Most Dark Transfigurations, though, work by... by forcing the recipient to transform without magic... as a biological process, rather than a magical one. It is complicated, and you may research it on your own if you so desire."

Remus winced. I've done enough practical research to last me a lifetime, thanks.

"Thank you for the excellent question, Lupin. Have I satisfied your curiosity?"

"Yes, Professor," Remus said quietly. "I do believe that I shall be able to transform pigs to desks morally from now on."

The class tittered, and Professor McGonagall allowed herself a forced smile before continuing the lesson.

Remus vaguely wanted to transfigure himself into a pig. The life of a pig, he thought, would be much simpler than that of a werewolf.

[notgonnarememberthis]

today (of all days) - pt. 4

Yet another chapter is here! And once again this one proved to be a challenge. But the good thing is, I have the next 2 loaded up and ready! I might fuck around and post all of them before pson comes back Tuesday? We shall see. This one takes a 7 year jump, Jackie and Gil are together and well, just read and see what happens. Lemme know what yall think! Enjoy!!

Gil can hear the laughter before he even reaches the door. The mix of two women who he holds dear, together as he unlocks his front door. His suspicions are confirmed when he swings it open revealing Jackie and Jessica, laughing and talking on his couch.

“This is a surprise.” He muses, after the day he’s had he wouldn’t mind some time with the two of them.

“Gil!” Jessica beams, clearly already a little more than tipsy. “Come join us! Jackie was just showing me her ring!” For all that he worried when Jackie came into his life, how she’d react to him basically being a pseudo father to Jessica’s children. Hell, to Jessica’s lurking presence in his life even long after it didn’t work out for the two of them. The two of them got along like he never would have predicted.

He met his fiancee’s eyes past the woman and he watches how her gaze flashes to the table. Sitting on their coffee table is the same bottle of bourbon with the two nice glasses. She knows exactly what it means. Though, Jessica never did open up to anyone but him, Jess might not even know that Jackie knows what the bottle means.

He warned her a long time ago. Back when they first started dating that this might happen. Where Jessica didn’t know where else to turn to in a desperate situation without drowning herself to feel numb to everything. Jackie’s eyes say everything. The sad expression of knowing something bad had happened, yet knowing she was powerless to help.

“Oh?” He plays along for now. She won’t open up with Jackie here. He needs to pull her away somehow.

“I’m sure Ainsley helped pick it out?” He smiles, despite the pain hovering in the air. It’s true, he brought Ainsley along after she basically begged him to let her help. A young teenager now obsessed with the love he found in Jackie. It hurts to think she’s looking for the parental love she barely remembers before everything went to shit. But it was her who picked the ring, a simple but gorgeous one well in his price range.

“She may have.”

The moment did little to melt the tension in the air. “Oh, would you look at the time. Ainsley will be home from her aunt’s soon. I told her we’d watch a movie together tonight and I always keep my promises.” He watches her for a moment, his heart sinks when he realizes he can’t tell if she’s lying. He normally can always see past her guard.

“Thank you for the drink Jess.” Jackie smiles before pulling her into a hug. He watches as the touch affects her. Jessica’s spine straightens, her steps a little more composed, as if she’s avoiding stepping on the cracks in her facade. 

She doesn’t meet his eyes when she says goodbye to him, only a short polite hug and a tight voice before she slides quickly out the door.

“She showed up an hour ago. I tried to stall as much as I could but she was gonna leave if I didn’t start talking about anything but what was on her mind.” He watches as Jackie paces across the room in a panic. She’s seen Malcolm fall apart, but never Jessica. It shook him for days the first time he saw it too.

He makes it across the room to her in a few steps. “You did good.” He smiles placing a kiss on her forehead.

“Go catch her before she leaves. Please.”

“I will.” He gives Jackie a kiss before practically running down to catch Jessica. He finds her just as she was about to get in the car, Adolpho already ready to take her back home. “Jess!”

She freezes and he watches her pull herself together again. One hand slips up to wipe a tear before she turns back to him. “Gil, please don’t.”

“You came to talk to me.”

“It’s fine. I’m fine.”

“What happened?” She smiles and shakes her head. The one that holds the bitter sadness that others leave her behind with. Malcolm, Birdie, her own mother. All while she tries desperately to hold herself together.

“We can’t do this anymore.”

“Do what?”

“This! I can’t come running to you whenever I feel like I’m about to break. It’s not-”

“Jessica.” He walks over to her but she takes a step back from him too.

“Stop.” Her voice catches and he does. “You have a family now Gil.”

“I’ve always had a family.” He tries not to let his own emotions cloud his mind. “You, Malcolm, Ainsley.”

“Malcolm and Ainsley, yes. But not me.”

“What?”

“How is this fair?”

“Jessica, you’re not making sense.” She sighs blinking back the tears of frustration building.

“This? What we do? That is not fair to Jackie. And you two are engaged! You’re going to have a family of your own soon and I-”

“Jackie doesn’t care about that. She loves spending time with you and the kids.”

“You’re not listening to me.” She huffs.

“I am listening.”

“Gil it’s not fair to her that I still have feelings for you!” She turns, her shoulders shaking as the sobs finally release. “And it’s not fair to you either.”

“Jessica.”

She turns back to him, and he watches as her wall is built up. Brick by brick he watches as her eyes shut him away. “I came here to say goodbye.”

“Jess, please.”

“We can’t do this anymore.”

“Jessica I need-”

“Stop.” She knows what he was going to say. They’re the same words she almost said seven years ago. “I will come around still with Malcolm and Ainsley. But we can’t do this anymore. Not to Jackie. She’s a good person.”

“So are you.” She scoffs, like somehow that’s questionable. “We can still be friends.”

“Can we?” It feels like a question that’s impossible to answer. One loaded with all of their past lingering on both their shoulders. “That’s what I thought.”

“Jessica.” He tries to stop her but she climbs into the car. It’s too late. She’s made up her mind.

“Goodbye Gil.”

[chaoticdisater]

Red white & royal Blue Favourite quotes

“How many times do I have to tell Y’all not to discuss your murder plots in front of a sitting president” their mother interrupts “Plausible deniability. Come on” (Pg 64) 

I don't know WHO you think you're kidding, you Hufflepuff-ass bitch, (Alex to henry over text pg 69) 

“‘put the turkeys in my room’  ‘No.’ ‘put them in my room, put them in my room, put them in my room -’  later that night as Alex stares into the cold pitiless eyes of a prehistoric beast of prey, he has a few regrets” (Alex and his mother Pg 76) 

“’he- Oi! Not for you Mr.wobbles! those are mine!’ more rustling and a distant offended Meow, ‘no, Mr. wobbles you bastard!’” (Henry at his sister's cat, pg 80) 

“Dec 8, 2019, 8:53 PM  yo there's a bond marathon on and did you know your dad was a total babe HRH prince Dickhead  I BEG YOU TO NOT “ (Henry and Alex over text Pg 84) 

“’ the options Id like...’ he says dragging the words out. ‘they don't quite seem to be options at all’” (Henry Pg 107) 

“’ christ you're a thick as it gets’ he says and he grabs Alex's face in both hands and kisses him.” (Henry Pg 107) 

“‘Seventy-eight percent probability of latent Bi-sexual tendencies. one hundred percent probability this is not a hypothetical question’” (Nora pg 118) 

“‘am I? do you think I'm Bi?’  ‘I can't tell you that Alex!’ she says ‘that's the whole point!’” (Alex and Nora Pg121)

“she slants a look at him ‘is this a diabolical scheme of seduction?’ she asks ‘if so, yes.’“ (Nora Pg 130) 

“Alex knocks the candelabra off the table next to them and pushes henry onto it so hes sitting with his back against - Alex looks up and almost breaks into a deranged laugh - a portrait of alexander hamilton.” (Pg 132) 

“‘im going to die’ henry says helplessly.  ‘im going to kill you,’ Alex tells him.” (Henry and Alex pg 133) 

‘”and if you fucking ghost me again, I'm going to get you put on a fucking no-fly list. got it’” (Alex at henry pg 134) 

“worst of all, Henry is good“ (Alex's thoughts on henry playing Polo Pg 147) 

“’I’m gonna go, Uh’ Alex says ‘say hi to henry’ Amy's mouth settles into a grim line ‘Please don't elaborate’ ‘Yeah I know’ Alex says ‘plausible deniability’” (Alex and Amy Pg 148) 

‘A <agcd@eclare45.com>  to Henry  his royal highness prince of whatever,  Don't make me learn your actual title’ (Alex’s email to henry Pg 152) 

‘Henry <hwales@kensingtonemail.com>  to A Alex, first son of inappropriately timed Emails when I’m in early morning meetings’ (Henry’s email to Alex Pg 155) 

“when he shows up to a briefing two days later Zahra grabs his jaw with one hand and turns his head, peering closer at the side of his neck. ‘is that a Hickey’ Alex freezes. ‘I . . . um, no?’” (Zahra and Alex pg 162) 

“‘Do you have a last name?’ Alex has never actually offered a greeting when calling Henry  ‘What?’ the usual bemused elongated one-syllable response” (163 Alex and henry over the phone) 

“‘Baby’ its become a thing: Baby he knows it’s become a thing. hes slipped up and accidentally said it a few times, and each time, Henry positively melts” (Alex Pg 166) 

“‘I miss you,’ Alex says before he can stop himself he instantly regrets ut but henry says. ‘I miss you too’” (pg 173) 

“she flung her arm out emphatically enough to upset an entire potted cactus on her dresser and says ‘Because until now you weren't fucking the prince of England’” (June pg 177)  

“‘you should try saying some of that stuff to Him’  ‘stop trying to Jane Austen my life’” (June and Alex Pg 180) 

“’ is now a good time to point out henrys very hot Very rich best friend is basically in love with you?’ Alex says to June ‘hes like some kind of billionaire genius manic-pixie-dream philanthropist. I feel like you would be into that.’ ‘Please shut up,’” (Alex and June Pg 182)  

“‘yes, yes, Pez, we know there's nothing you cant do,’ says henrys voice off-camera ‘no need to rub it in’“ (henry Pg 184) 

“‘oh I haven't had vodka since uni,’ henry says ‘it tends to make me erm, well-’ ‘flamboyant?’ Pez offers. ‘uninhibited? randy?’  ‘Fun?’ Bea suggests  ‘Excuses you, I am loads of fun all the time! I am a Delight’“ (Henry Bea and Pez pg 190)

“’yes Beatrice, we shall behave in a manner befitting the crown,’ henry says. his eyes are slightly crossed ‘don't be a tosser’“ (Henry and bea Pg 195) 

“He likes taking henry apart but there's something incredibly intantament about sitting on the bed they wrecked the night before, the only one who watches him create Prince Henry of Wales for the day.” (Pg 200) 

“‘So this is the gang now, huh?’  and through it all, Alex realizes with a start: he has friends now.” (Cash pg 201) 

“How is a man to get anything done knowing Alex Claremont-Diaz is out there on the loose?” (Henrys email to Alex pg 203) 

“yours in sexual frustration  Henry” (henrys email to Alex pg 206) 

“once again, how had he ever convinced himself he was straight,” (Alex pg 213) 

“‘just so we’re clear,’ Alex said ‘Im about to have sex with you in this storage closet to spite your family. Like that's what's happening?’“ (Alex pg 217) 

“your Brave I could use some of that” (Pg 218) 

“Because that's what he would do if he were here in this palace to fall in love Henry” (Pg 220) 

“Zahra doesnt even look up from her phone ‘that was my boyfriend and no, you may not ask me any further questions about him’” (Zahra Pg 223) 

“If he’s some anonymous normal person removed from history he’s twenty-two and he’s tipsy and he’s pulling a guy into his hotel room by the belt loop. He’s pulling a lip between his teeth and he fumbling behind his back to switch on a lamp and he’s thinking I like this person”  (Pg 228)

“You still are. Because you still bloody care so much.” He leans down and presses a kiss into Alex’s hair. “And you are good. Most things are awful most of the time but you’re good” (Henry Pg 230)

“’Seriously?’ She hisses ‘your literally putting your dick in the leader of a foreign state who is a man at the biggest political event before the election in a hotel full of reporters in a city full of cameras in a race close enough to fucking hinge on some bullshit like this like a manifestation of my fucking stress dreams and you’re asking me not to tell the president about it?’” (Zarha pg 233)

“The next slide is titled EXPLORING YOUR SEXUALITY: HEALTHY BUT DOES IT HAVE TO BE WITH THE PRINCE ENGLAND? she apologizes for not having time to come up with better titles Alex activity wishes for the sweet release of death” (Pg 237)

“History huh? I bet we could make some.” (Alex’s email to henry Pg 241)

“The pair of you share and an alarming number of traits by the by: passionate determination, never knowing when to shut up, &c &c,” (herny’s email to Alex Pg 242)

“Regards Haplessly romantic heretic prince henry the utterly daft” (henrys email to Alex pg 243)

“‘It’s math,’ Nora says ‘Math has no authority here,’ June tells her ‘Math is everywhere June’” (Nora and June Pg 247)

“Henry is tipsy and shirtless and attempting to referee” (pg 252)

“’Some times you just jump and hope it’s not a chiff’” (Alex dad Pg 256)

“Well, Alex is so in love he could die.” (Pg 257)

“He’s been falling in love with Henry for years probably since he first saw him in glossy print on the pages of j14 almost definitely since Henry pinned Alex to the floor of a medical supply closet and told him to shut the hell up.” (Pg 257)

“’Fuck off five nine is average’” (Pg 258)

“’H?’ He whispers ‘you awake?’ Henry sighs ‘always.’” ( Pg 260)

“He’s got a distinct feeling of something being pulled out of his hands right before he could grasp it.” (Pg 263)

“something rises in Alex's throat - anger, confusion, hurt, bile. Unforgivably, he feels like he might cry” (Pg 270) 

“’Fuck I swear you don’t make it fucking easy but I’m in love with you’” (Alex Pg 271)

“’I never thought I’d be stood here faced with a choice I can’t make because I never ... I never imagined you would love me back’” (Henry pg 273)

“He’s in Henry’s face now if he’s getting his heart broken tonight he’s sure as hell going to make Henry have the guts to do it right ‘tell me you're done with me. I’ll get back on the plane. that's it. and you can live here in your tower and be miserable forever, write a whole book of sad fucking poems about it, whatever just say it’” (274)

“He’s in stupid unbearable love and Henry loves him too and at least for one night it matters, even if they both have to pretend to forget in the morning” (Pg 275)

“He tells his too fast brain: don’t miss this time he’s too important” (Alexs thoughts Pg 275)

“henry’s hands-on him are unhurried and soft and they make out lazily for hours or days.” (Pg 280) 

“Alex sighs ‘i don't think I told you but she uh. well, when she fired me she told me that if I wasn't a thousand percent serious about you. I need to break things off.’  Henry nuzzles his nose behind Alex's ear ‘a thousand percent?’” (Alex and Henry Pg 282) 

“‘Diaz you insane hopeless romantic little shit’ says the voice of the president of the united states, muffled in the bed ‘it had better be forever. Be safe’“ (Pg 284) 

“hes cut off mid-sentence because Alex has stopped in the middle of the corridor and yanked him backwards into a kiss” (pg 286) 

“’its funny’ henry says ‘i always thought of the whole thing as the most unforgivable thing about me but you act like its one of the best’“ (henry Pg 289) 

“he takes the chain off his neck and slides the ring on next to the old house key. they click together gently as he tucks them both under his shirt, two homes side by side” (Pg 291) 

“I opened my blasted mouth and said ‘because I'm not like the rest of the men in this family beginning with the fact that I'm am very deeply gay Philip’  once shaan managed to dislodge him from the chandelier Philip had quite a few words for me,” (Henry’s emails to Alex Pg 298) 

“just leaving, not coming back. maybe burning something down on the way out. it would be nice.” (henrys emails to Alex pg 299)

“I thought, if someone like that ever loved me, it would set me on fire” (henrys emails to Alex (describing how he felt when he first saw Alex) Pg 300) 

“20. the fact that you have loved me all along.” (alex’s email to henry (the list of things alex loves about henry) Pg 303) 

“‘Oh my god Z what is That? did you get engaged?’  Zahra looks down at the ring and shrugs. ‘i had the week-end off’” (June and Zahra pg 305)

“’you and me and history, remember? were just gonna fucking fight. because your it okay? Im never gonna love anybody in the world like i love you,’“ (Alex pg 312) 

“‘I swear to god if you say I'm too young I'm gonna lose my shit,’“ (Alex pg 315) 

“What did he do ‘be more specific’“ (Alex to Zahra pg 321 ) 

“’the president is sitting down with as many members of the office of communitcs we could drag out of bed at three in the morning’” (Zahra Pg 323) 

“‘pack a bag’ she says ‘we’re going to londan’” (Zahra Pg 334)

“she (Zarha) seems confident Shaan will agree to it and willing to physically overpower him if not.” (pg 334) 

“still the cocky shit head part of him is slightly pleased to finally have claim on henry. Yep, the prince? Most eligible bachelor in the world? British accent face like a greek god, legs for days? Mine” (Pg 336) 

“‘youre giving my ulcer an ulcer’“ (Zahra pg 336) 

“‘Im running on nothing but black coffee, a wetzels pretzel, and a fistful of B12. Do not even breathe in my directrion,’“ (Zahra Pg 339) 

“He leans up and kisses the underside of his jaw, finding it rough from a full fitful day,” (pg 340)

“‘What kind of family, that says we’ll take the murder, we’ll take the raping and pillaging and the colonizing, well scrub it up nice and neat in a museum but oh no you’re a bloody poof? That’s beyond our sense of decorum’” (Henry pg 347)

“Bea seizes the pot of tea from the center of the table and dumps it into his lap ‘Oh, I’m terribly sorry Pip’ she says grabbing him by the shoulders and shoving him sputtering and yelping toward the door ‘so deardfully clumsy, you know I think all that cocaine I did must have really done a job on my refexes!’” (Bea pg 357)

“Henry pulls Alex close and kisses him whispers, ‘I love you I love you I love you’ and it doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter if anyone sees.” (Pg 358)

And that’s when I gave up I do have more but well I didn’t want to make this list any more

[calypsoff]

Forty One.

My family aren’t happy, they didn’t expect me to say next month is the wedding. I mean I don’t expect many people to be happy with my decision, I just want it over with. Not in a bad way either but there is no reason to have a long engagement, what are we waiting for. I feel like my family are panicking but I am not, I feel so calm about it all, I don’t see a reason to panic. I am very calm about things, I have Vera Wang flying out to me, I mean she is very shocked and not ready but whatever, we will do this “mommy is saying how she needs to lose weight for your day” looking behind me at Rorrey “she is being so stupid, she doesn’t need to do anything but turn up. You want anything, I am making Chris’ breakfast” drying my hands off “no, I am good. I want cereal” Rorrey sat down at the dining table “Chris told me last night he is going back to America, you do know that right?” rolling my eyes “yeah I do, he has things to do there. We went back and forth on it but he has to go, he needs to tell his family about it but he will be back. I didn’t really want him too so we can go back and forth on ideas, but I will have to facetime I guess” Rorrey chuckled “you said he will be back like he isn’t going to runaway now he is seeing bridezilla” Rorrey could be right “well if it doesn’t go right y’all niggas are going to get it in the neck, nah. I am fine, just didn’t want him to go but he has too. Did he mention anything else? Do tell” I wonder if he does “not really, oh and he’s cracked his phone screen by the way, it wasn’t letting him make calls or anything so he broke it I guess. He fell over the chair in the living room, he did hurt his leg too. I helped him up the stairs too, I promise you I didn’t make him drunk. Maybe I did, but who knows” I scoffed “I didn’t even notice, Rorrey you know he is recovering. I swear if he can’t walk again I am coming for you” now I need to check on him, I didn’t know this at all. He could be stuck upstairs because of this “I am coming for you” I pointed at Rorrey as I walked off to check on him, he was in bed just fine when I woke up.

Chris is awake, he is sat up on the edge of the bed “morning, are you ok?” closing the bedroom door behind me “honestly no” I breathed out, not happy to know that “what exactly happened?” this is not good “I had my phone in my hand, I finished my blunt outside with the boys. We had a few drinks, I was tipsy, but the pain sure did knock that out of me. Someone shouted, the last one to the couch has to pour drinks. I ran too but like being tipsy and then running, I just lost when I didn’t see the chair there, it was right there. So yeah, I banged into it. Rorrey carried me up the stairs, and now I am struggling to get up. My phone doesn’t work, marble flooring is no good” I hate this for him, walking over to him “it’s pulling, a shooting pain when I walk on it. I think I need to rest it but it’s a little better, I can stand on it. But I need help to get there, maybe too soon” holding my hands out “clearly Chris, you need to be careful still. I am going to murder everyone, and you. Put you out, now what about sex” Chris chuckled as he held my hands “on three, one, two, three” pulling him up from the bed “you thinking about it like you can’t just ride me” placing Chris’ arm around my shoulder “true, are you going to be ok to get down the stairs?” walking slowly with him to the bathroom “just need you there, I can do it” I hope he gets better.

That was so long, the whole coming down the stairs was long. He has really hurt his leg being stupid with my brothers, I swear these boys do not know how to play nice “you got pain killers here? I just need some of that after breakfast and then I just want to rest, it will get better” Chris cringed, he is placing most of his weight on me but it’s not all bad, I just want him to eat and then rest “see what your stupidity gets” walking into the kitchen “mine!?” Rorrey spat “yes yours, I am blaming you. I feel like it was your fault in this. Kick the chair back” Rorrey chuckled “oh, you really hurt?” helping Chris to sit down “no shit, he said you carried him upstairs” Rorrey laughing is annoying me “man, I am sorry. You want a leg massage” he offered “nigga get the fuck outta here” Chris laughed, boys are just so silly, they play rough. I just think Chris was comfortable and he let loose and now this happened “I am just finishing off your breakfast” let me finish it off, I am glad he told me actually because imagine if Chris was there all that time just waiting “you ready to go back to America? My cousin TeeJay is going back, go with him. Depending where?” I wonder if he is going Cali, the rental home is gone now because nobody is living in it, so I told Tina to get rid of it “Houston, see my boys and then VA. I haven’t been in Houston for so long, I still have a lot of things there and I don’t exactly have a home to put stuff in so for now I will be in Houston” that was shade towards me “I said we will find a home” I had say something “you’re going London? Or you forgot your schedule now, you said I am going London for Fenty Puma, you didn’t say about looking at no homes before then” I guess that is something we need to discuss, for now I will remain silent. Chris is leaving tomorrow, he is practically just up and leaving me tomorrow but now he is in this state so we shall see, I wish he just kept his ass in one place.

My brother left us alone, I am glad he did because I want to speak to him “I feel like you got really annoyed with me earlier, about the home thing” watching him devour my breakfast, least I know he enjoys my cooking “but was I lying? I live in Houston, that is my home now. We get married here and then what?” he said that with a mouthful “right, I will say it to you once and for all. Once we got married, we are going to Cali together and finding a home together. Somewhere gated, this time I will be looking carefully because I want it to be our home like you said so I think gated is best, it’s protected with security and only the people that live there can access, I know you’re safe and you can rest easy. So after Barbados I do want a honeymoon though so you can pick that but after that, you and I are doing that. We move in, and then I will be going to London” maybe I needed to explain that “so I got to pick the honeymoon?” nodding my head “erm, Barbados then?” hitting his arm laughing “shut up, better be somewhere nice ok. But is that better?” I need to know he thinks it is “I like that, just you made it seem like you were leaving for London from here” shaking my head “no way, I want my honeymoon. I was thinking, maybe you’re not ready to go back? With your leg” I just want him to stay “it will get better, I will have to walk slow again, that is all” he shrugged it off, I tried because I would like him to support me and be here when I give my mother her gift “you thought about that father thing?” Chris said in a whisper “I want you to stay” I said it “I told you why I can’t, it doesn’t give me or my family enough time. I need to plan myself” putting my head down, I feel all teary eyed “but I just need you as support” I managed to say before I cried, wiping my tears “why are you crying? You have always been independent Robyn” I sniffled shaking my head “it’s fine, I don’t want you here” I don’t need him.

Chris is more annoyed I cried, now he is annoyed that I cried “like I asked before, did you think about the dad thing?” nodding my head, I just don’t want to talk to him in a way, he has annoyed me “and?” trying to make me speak on it “I am going to do it” staring at him “you do as you please but he don’t deserve shit from you, what will it be next? Pay his bills?” which I kind of do “I do for my mom” I mumbled “that’s your mother Robyn, I want you to listen to me when I speak. You are becoming my wife; you have your own life. You have your own family; your priority is not your father. It’s me, I don’t know what hold you got with him. Because he was there for you that one time for daddy and daughter dance, get over it. You get him that home, we’re not married yet, but you do anything for that man while married to me we going to have problems” he is being so sharp with me today “there is better way of saying it to me” Chris laughed “how? You don’t listen, he beat your mom in front of you, what else you want. He spent the money you were supposed to live on in America. You had nothing, you cried Robyn! You called him and he was drunk, your family had nothing because of him. I know, I listen to you. He picked the wrong nigga to piss off, so tell me what else you want from him. He wants to know you now because you got money? Don’t say it ain’t because it is. Collectively including y’all brothers, beat his fucking ass” getting up from the seat, I don’t want to hear this.

I just can’t stand to hear it; my past is already a horrible thing to think about and I don’t need him to be in my face about it. Sitting down on the steps of my back yard “oh what you doing here?” didn’t think my dad was here “I came here earlier, I was just doing some of the garden for your mom” smiling lightly “that is fine” watching my dad walk over to me slowly “you seem a little sad, well I saw you come out here in a huff, why is that?” my dad sat next to me on the step “just needed some air” I sighed out “dad, why do you sell stories about me? Well why did you?” looking over at him “I guess that boy is making you think these things, I never sold anything negative. The people love hearing about you Robyn, when have I ever said anything bad about you? You’re my daughter, I have spoken on positive things” he defended himself “but you made money off me, that is not good. Not like I don’t give you money dad” I don’t understand “and I appreciate that you do, I want to make my own money Robyn that is all. And I am sorry if you feel I am making money off you, but your name sells” I swallowed hard “I don’t want you to sell stories on my name dad, I am being serious with you. Please stop this, it upsets me that you are saying these things to my future, I am marrying Chris and now you both don’t like each other, he is a good man. He took care of me when you didn’t” my dad didn’t like what I said “just because he took care of you then doesn’t mean a thing, Robyn I took care of you as a child. I was there for you; it was me that let you go to America. He has come back into your life and now everything is perfect, why come back to your life now? After you are famous, oh he’s rolled out of jail and he needs somewhere to rest his head” frowning at my dad “don’t say that about him dad, it’s not that way. He never took money from me dad, you were the first one to jump on that. I had to beg him to let me buy things for him, if you can’t respect him then I will have to consider a lot, I don’t want to do that dad. Please don’t make me do it” I pleaded “you would choose a man over your own dad” clenching my jaw staring into my dad’ eyes “don’t make me do it” I am so hurt right now “if he can respect me, then I will respect him. He has a big mouth on him, I won’t make you do anything, maybe he will” he got up from the step “don’t worry yourself too much, and selling stories is behind me” my dad walked off.

Everything is just so shit for me, like why can’t I just have a normal life “Robyn, can we talk” looking behind me “I can’t come there, if you can come here” I guess he can’t, nodding my head looking away from Chris. He took his time, probably struggled to get up, I guess it gave me time to think. Getting up from the step, I guess I will go in. Chris is still stood there watching me, but he made his way back in, struggled I would say but he did it. Closing the door behind me “I will get you the pain killers you need, you need to rest” I am sure my mother has them close by “wait, just let me speak to you for a moment, I am sorry I lost my temper” I rolled my eyes and clearly Chris caught me “you are saying sorry a lot recently, you do be losing your temper a lot, it’s becoming a lot Chris. You think I want to hear that from your mouth, all I asked was for you to stay and support me, instead you telling me we going to have problems. He is my dad Chris!” I shouted “parents can be wack too Robyn, I just want the best for you, maybe my bad and I will stay out of your business” crossing my arms across my chest “there is way of saying it to me, I will be getting a home for my dad and my mother and I would like you to stay and support me and be here for me but if you don’t, then so be it. He is my dad, and he will stay around” Chris groaned out in annoyance “you win, do it. I don’t want no pain killers, fuck it” Chris limped away, he is not happy clearly.

Robyn just angers me with her father, I don’t get the hold he has on her. I don’t want to argue with her, but she angers me and then clearly it turns into one, I need to step back from this father shit. I can’t even deal “pops, you there? Damn, the line ain’t that bad” my dad said one second let me connect the wifi and the line will be better, this nigga done took a whole five minutes “hello son, can you hear me?” he is dumb “I can, damn. Are you done?” he is just doing the most “so you was saying, about Ronald, if he is saying things that aren’t kind to you son, tell me. I will deal with it” that really made me cackle laughing “thanks dad but yeah, just like he is a bad dad to her, and she doesn’t see it. I feel like I have inserted myself in her family issues, we had a disagreement and now we ain’t even speaking because of it. I told her that she needs to let him go, I didn’t want her to buy him a home, for what? He doesn’t deserve it but she does, he’s literally in her life for what” I needed someone to rant too “I get it son, and I think speaking to Robyn alone. She craves that father love, I see it in her eyes and not you or even me, or her mother can change that, only he can break her heart, and it’s a shame that her heart hasn’t been broken by him yet but she has hope, she has a good heart son, so stop getting involved, make your point and drop it. You can’t push someone to do something if they don’t want too, just be there for her. Her eyes will open when they are ready too, but besides that, are you having a good time there?” he asked “you know what, I am. I love it here just this bullshit, I will be back though soon. I have some news, all I am going to say is be ready” they are not going to be ready for the fact wedding will be next month.

I didn’t even attempt to go upstairs because I knew I wouldn’t have made so I went into the spare room that just has random chairs in here, I think this was where I fell, I don’t really remember, maybe it was the living room. I cringed as I made it to the living room “awww no, Christopher. Are you ok?” Monica asked “ah” I said as I went down the step, who has a step in their living room “mommy he fell on the chair and broke his phone” I fell onto the couch “oh yeah, thank Rorrey” I lifted his phone up “throw it” throwing the phone to him, he caught it luckily “yeah I fell, it just hurts. It will get better, where is Robyn?” waving at Majesty in her little bouncer just looking at me “she and Ronald went out” of course she did “oh ok, don’t know when she will be back or?” I mean she just went “no, she will be back soon” I didn’t know that nigga was here “Ronald was here when?” did she call him or some shit “he has been here since morning Chris” I didn’t know “ok” resting my head back on the couch “put your legs up, rest” Monica said “I am out Chris, leave you with the ladies” Rorrey patted my shoulder as he left “yeah, yeah whatever” I could have gone but clearly not, how annoying. More annoying that Robyn went out with the nigga we argued about, she could have said but I need to just leave it I guess.

[a-crepusculo]

A Simple Picture

Author’s Note: Hello everyone! I’ve been reading LOTS of Ethan x MC fanfic, and decided I would like to ‘try’ to make one, too! I haven’t actually written anything in the past 7 to 8 years, so this fic is probably not going to be good lmao. Nonetheless, you all have inspired me so much, so please do feel free to read and give me any feedback! I would love to hear and share my thoughts with everyone. Enjoy!

Pairing: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr. Marchia Bisognin)

Face Claim: Elizabeth Lail for F!MC picture on Pictagram.

Warnings: A bit of angst and sadness, I guess?

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Marchia has just gotten off her night shift. She reached her apartment, took a long shower, and changed into her favorite pajamas. She was certainly tired, but somehow not drowsy enough to sleep. Hence, Marchia decided to scroll through her photo albums, hoping something would interest her or make her fall asleep. 

After scrolling for awhile, she found a photo that Ethan took after their dinner with the Governor. She recalled being tipsy that night, although she tried her best to maintain her composure.

“Come on, let me take a picture with you!” Marchia pleaded, hoping Ethan would give in to her. Standing in front of one of Boston’s best restaurants, Marchia hoped that she could grab a quick picture with Ethan to freeze this memory.

“No.” he mumbled, trying his best to reject Marchia’s wish to take a photo with him. It’s not that Ethan does not want to take a photo with her, it’s just that the current circumstances were.... complicated. Harper was already waiting for them to regroup at Ethan’s car and he did not want to raise any additional suspicion, given that a ‘certain’ rumor has spread regarding their personal relationship in Edenbrook.

“Ugh, fine..” she pouted her lips, unable to contain her disappointment. She wanted to take a picture with him just because she promised herself to take more pictures on her second year in Edenbrook. That way, she would be able to look back and cherish those good memories, especially those that are connected with Ethan. “Just take a picture of me then, will you?” Marchia hands out her phone to him.

Ethan grabbed her phone, taking it from her soft hands. Her touch lingers, always leaving Ethan wanting more.

Marchia took a couple steps back, preparing herself to strike a pose. She then noticed that Ethan was staring her, looking like he was utterly drawn into her.

Her outfit was undeniably revealing that night, but that was not the only reason Ethan looked her straight into her eyes. He wanted her, more than anything. Ethan tried his best to ignore and run away from those feelings. However, his feelings always come crashing down whenever she pops up.

Noticing Ethan’s longing gaze, Marchia looked at him with concern. “Uh.. Ethan? Are you okay?”

Ethan’s eyes flicked up and changed direction, redirecting himself to Marchia’s phone. “Erm. Right. Sorry.” his face blushed, clearly understanding the consequences of his actions.

“You look lovely, by the way.” he said whilst holding up her phone, trying to distract her from his previous actions, only to realize that he might have blurted out his feelings towards her and embarrass himself even more.

Your eyes meet for a long moment, neither of you able to make up any words.

“So.. that means I look ugly on any other day, huh?” Marchia smiled, attempting her best to mess with Ethan. She knew Ethan well enough to predict his next reaction.

“No, Marchia, I mean—“ as he interrupted, he accidentally snapped a photo of Marchia smirking and fixing her hair.

She giggled, “It’s okay, Ethan. I know you.”

Their eyes connected again. For a second, it felt like like there’s no one there. No one to bother them. No one judging their relationship and how they felt towards one another.

“It’s getting late, maybe we should just head back?” Marchia turned away from Ethan to look at the parking lot, hoping Harper did not see them giggling and goofing around on their own.

Ethan returned her phone, touching her fingers once more. This time, Marchia didn’t let go of his hand. She felt tired of running away from her feelings, hoping that Ethan would feel the same. “I missed you.” she whispered unexpectedly.

“I... feel the same.” A somber look falls on Ethan’s face. He gently stroked the back of her hands, letting the moment to last.

“Hm, shall we?” Marchia smiled again. This time, she took his arm and smiled through the pain. A sharp pain that always hits her every time she realizes that she’s not with him, that she doesn’t belong with him.

Looking at the picture, Marchia did not realize that Ethan actually managed to take a decent photo of her. Huh, she thought to herself.

Maybe she wanted his attention. She knows that Ethan is using Pictagram now. She even successfully persuaded him to install the mobile app, so that he could log in anytime he wants on his phone. Furthermore, Ethan would know that this photo was taken by him, right?

Maybe he would like the picture?, she thought. Not that it matters, I guess.

Without any hesitation, she posted the photo on Pictagram. Aaaaand... posted.

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Ding!

His phone vibrates. It was 12:30 AM and he was curious as to what notification has popped up on his phone.

[@marchia_bisognin has posted a photo]

Why did I agree to install this damn app? Ethan scoffed.

Nevertheless, curiosity overtook him. Deep inside, he knew that letting Marchia install Pictagram to his phone was a terrible idea. Still, he could not resist the temptation to look at Marchia’s photo anytime he wants. He could not resist her, no matter how hard he tries.

With a little sigh, he succumbed to his desire and opens up his Pictagram account.

When he saw the picture, he instantly chuckled. He realizes that the picture was actually taken by him.

Looking at the photo, once again, he found himself lost in her eyes. Her soft and warm energy radiates everywhere, even when he’s only looking at a picture of her. She looked beautiful in that picture. Hell, he thinks that she looks beautiful in any occasion.

If he remembered correctly, Marchia explained that ‘liking’ a person’s photo would basically mean that he or she ‘agrees’ with the photo. Although that doesn’t entirely make sense to Ethan, after a minute of staring and gazing into her photo, he chose to ‘like’ her recent photo.

...Did I let her slip away?, he thought to himself as he locked his mobile phone. Ethan did not want to lose her, but he always believed that he doesn’t deserve her. Feeling like this, it felt like a punishment, torturing his very existence.

He lets out a weary sigh, feeling defeated.

Ethan opened his phone again and looked at Marchia’s recent picture. Maybe one day, he smiled, a little hope gleaming in his heart as he remembers her.

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Edit/Update: Hey everyone! I don’t know why, but some of the writing style are kinda messed up if you read it on Tumblr’s mobile app. Nonetheless, hopefully y’all can still read the story with clarity. Will try to fix this soon!

[arigatouiris]

Catching Feelings — Connor [06]

Pairing: Deviant! Connor x Reader

Word Count: 2644

Warnings: Swearing, angst, fluff, clumsy!reader, timid!reader (not for long), mentions of anxiety, inappropriate boss behavior (basically Gavin being Gavin)

Author’s Note: Oooh~ Interesting chapter, this is. Important it is, very. Idk why I slipped into Yoda talk there but heh. There’s a lot of fluff here, so I guess it’s a good chapter? Not feeling angsty today huehuehue

Also, those who want to be on the taglist, just send me an ask~

Summary: Connor makes a decision.

Chapter Six: Kiss

○

Two hours into the night and both Hank and (y/n) were tipsy. 

For some reason, Hank didn’t look too intoxicated. Compared to the countless other times he had seen Hank, Connor knew that he would be alright. However, (y/n) was tipsy—and it was the first time he was seeing her like this. When she got up to use the bathroom for the tenth time, Hank turned to Connor with a mean grin.

    “Now’s your chance to tell her!”

Connor didn’t know what he had to say.

    “Tell her what, Lieutenant?”

Hank grumbled before spitting out, “That you like her, you dumb bot!”

    “I think it is ill-advised to tell her about my feelings when she is intoxicated, Lieutenant.”

Hank’s eyes widened before nodding a couple of times.

    “Then take her home. Be a gentleman.”

Connor liked that idea. It would be a lot safer too, if he went with her and made sure she reached home safely. She was in no condition to go on her own, and it gave him an excuse to spend more time with her. Hank grinned at Connor’s sudden happiness that the idea gave him, and pulled away.

    “I’m back, Lieutenant! Hey, Connor!”

Connor scanned her vitals. She was not highly intoxicated, but it surprised him how she was able to manage her steps and balance as if she wasn’t tipsy at all. Hank chuckled once before helping her sit beside Connor and himself, placing her in the middle. She turned to Connor a second later, and shot him a sad look. He didn’t understand what the look meant, but she seemed guilty.

    “I’m sorry, okay?”

Connor blinked, he was unsure of why she was apologizing.

    “I don’t understand, (y/n). Did you do something wrong?”

She let out a breath before replying, “I kissed you. I shouldn’t have done that. It must have made you uncomfortable, right? I came at you without your permission—”She gasped, her eyes widened, her hands went to Connor’s shoulders, “I am so sorry! I didn’t mean to force myself on you!”

    “What’s happening?” Hank asked, no clue about what’s going on.

Connor shook his head and smiled at her. He brought her hands down and held them in his. She looked so cute, he once again thought that there was a bug in his system. For some reason, he wanted to kiss her. He felt nothing when she did it, but he wanted to do it again—maybe, it was a way humans would let each other know they adore each other. 

Maybe, a ‘kiss’ was to signify that there was love.

    “It didn’t make me uncomfortable, at all. And you didn’t force yourself on me. I wish I could say I enjoyed it, but it was a rather new experience for me and I have yet to process what a kiss is supposed to make me feel.”

She nodded once before saying, “I’m still very sorry—”

Connor brought one of her hands to his lips and pressed on them firmly on the surface. Her eyes widened and Hank almost fell off the chair.

    “Connor…” She gasped, as he let her hand go.

    “Is something the matter, Lieutenant?”

    “Y-You kissed her hand!”

    “I believe it was clear that I did?” Connor was surprised with Hank’s outburst.

    “Why?” (y/n) asked, tilting her head.

He stopped thinking of Sumo now whenever (y/n) was being cute. Her cute was a bit different from what Sumo made him feel. Her cute made him feel warm, it made his systems question his functioning. It now made him want to kiss her.

    “I believe a kiss is meant to display affection,” Connor said, “And I wanted to do so to you, (y/n). You are very, very cute. And despite the kiss not making me feel anything, I am under the impression that it makes you feel greatly. And that gives me joy.”

Her face reddened harshly. Hank almost whistled. A little while after, Hank was ready to go home. He reminded Connor to take (y/n) home, and he signed off with a wave and a stylish grin plastered on his wasted face. Connor turned to (y/n), who was surprisingly quiet after the kiss on her hand, and gave her his hand. She looked at it before biting her lip and taking his hand, and the two of them walked out of the bar.

The cold outside was harsh, and since Connor no longer wore his android clothes—and regular suits, he had something to offer. When he noticed (y/n) shiver slightly, he instantly took off his suit’s jacket and placed it around her shoulders. She mumbled a soft ‘thank you’ before the two of them walked along, hand in hand.

    “I’m sorry if I said anything stupid. I’m sobering down a bit right now.”

Connor’s grip against her hand was strong.

    “You didn’t say anything stupid. In fact, you were very cute.”

She blushed harder at what he said, unsure if he knew what his words were doing to her. It confused her, feeling the way she was for an android—who particularly wanted to remain an android. He had made it clear that he didn’t want those upgrades, he had made it clear that he had no intention of feeling what humans felt, yet, here he was doing everything in his power to make her feel so special.

It confused her and it broke her heart. Because, he was letting her know she had a chance but he was not giving her one.

    “You are quiet.” He stated, turning to look at her.

She bit her lip once before trying to figure out the right words. She didn’t know what she could say without sounding terrible. The thoughts she was having were terrible, and she didn’t know how to convey them.

    “I’m sorry, Connor… I just… I don’t want to make things weird.”

He blinked at her, “Weird? How?”

She looked at their connected hands and then looked at his confused expression. Did he really not know what he was doing to her?

    “Connor, do you… Do you like me?”

He smiled, “I like you very much.”

She shook her head, No, that’s not it, she thought before saying, “No, no. I meant… Do you… Do you think of me romantically?”

He made an ‘o’ before turning forward and nodded once to himself. His grip on her hand remained the same, and her eyes were glued to his face.

    “We should have this conversation inside your house, (y/n). The cold is making your teeth chatter. And I would like to explain my feelings entirely, if you don’t mind.”

Her eyes widened at how easily he stated what he was thinking. It was odd, but she liked it. She liked how honest he was, and even if it meant inhuman, Connor showed more signs of humanity than most people she knew. She smiled a bit before leading him home, quickening their pace.

    “You’re moving faster.” Connor noticed.

She giggled before saying, “The sooner we reach home, the sooner we can talk!”

Connor felt that strange feeling near his thirium pump again. He smiled to himself and watched how cheerful she suddenly became, it confused him greatly. He knew he was in love with her, but he wasn’t sure if this was the perfect time to say it. She was intoxicated, yet, here she was talking to him like she was sober. But, he owed her the truth. So, he would not lie.

When they reached her house, Connor looked around. It was a simple apartment, with no AI attached to its system. He found that amusing since he believed almost every residence had an AI. He wanted to know why.

    “Why do you not have an AI for your house?” He asked, sitting down on her couch.

She joined him and sat beside him, returning his jacket. She giggled at his question before humming once.

    “Well, I just… I didn’t like the sound of it, I think? Not that I have anything against AIs, I just wanted to enter into a quiet home. I like the feeling it gives me.”

As much as he wanted to know, Connor found it odd that he sort of understood what she was saying. Perhaps, interacting with people so much had given him an edge over other androids. Maybe, he didn’t need those upgrades after all. He could be better by being an android.

    “I’m in love with you, (y/n).”

She gasped and turned to him with wide eyes, and noticed how calm he looked. A smile sat on his face, his hands fell on hers, which were on her lap. He took the back of her palm and pressed another kiss on it, before looking at her.

    “What does… What does that mean to you?”

Connor wasn’t ready for that question. The LED on his head turned yellow, as he tried to think of an answer. She waited there, beside him, patiently.

    “I like seeing your face everyday. It gives me joy. Everything I learn about my feelings, I want to share with you. I like the way you respond to anything I say. You make the cutest expressions and I discover something new about what ‘love’ is when I’m with you.”

She felt her heart rate escalate at the way he spoke.

    “What did you discover today?”

He didn’t take time in answering, “I discovered that I like kissing you.”

Her eyes widened. She had only done it to prove to him that he didn’t feel anything from the kiss. She was confused as to how he now said he liked it.

    “But, why? I mean… How? You’re not supposed to feel what the kiss does, right?”

    “Maybe, I don’t feel what it can do to me internally. But, it gives me joy to see you against me, blushing. I don’t know what these ‘jitters’ are, albeit the definition, but knowing that you feel them gives me happiness. It makes this area,” He placed his hand near the left part of his chest, right where his thirium pump was situated, “Act a bit… funny.”

    “Connor… I… I don’t know what to say.”

    “I hadn’t considered the possibility of you loving me in return, but I do know that this is all new to you as well. So, whatever you have to say, I shall take well. I cannot turn deviant because I already am.” He said, smiling.

(y/n) chuckled before tightening her grip around Connor’s hands.

    “I really like you, Connor. I do, and maybe what you’re feeling is so intense because you’re experiencing for the first time. That’s why your mind is processing it as love. Your love is going to be deeper than a regular human being’s because you’re an android.”

His eyes widened. He hadn’t ever thought of it that way.

    “Is that a good thing?”

    “Is what a good thing? Feeling the purest and strongest form of love? I don’t think there’s anything better than that, to be honest.” She said, getting closer to him.

He smiled before leaning down and smelling her hair. It smelled sweet, yet there were traces of sweat and the smell of alcohol. Just as he could smell better than the human nose, perhaps, her theory that he could love more intensely could also be true?

    “(y/n), I am definitely in love with you. I would like to be your partner if you would have me—”

    “Connor…” He waited. “I really wish I could make you feel these nice things. Those things you said you don’t feel, ‘jitters’ or the sensation that a kiss can make you feel… All these are important for love to exist. Maybe, not for you but… Won’t you ever want to know what being kissed feels like for yourself? And not for me?”

He waited. “I’m… not sure.”

She looked a bit sad at his answer. Her grip around his hands loosened, but Connor held on to her hand tighter still. She blinked a couple of times before turning to him.

    “I really like you. It confuses me why and how I can like you so much, and maybe, one day I can learn to fall for you, too! It’s just… Feeling these things on my own can get very lonely. And I don’t want to force you into making changes to yourself against your will.”

    “How can that make you feel lonely? I’m right here.” Connor answered.

    “Experiencing these sensations alone is the same thing as being alone if you ask me. Yes, you’re there. Emotionally, I’m going to be gratified and it’s going to be thrilling and nice and jittery, but I’ll know deep down that you’re not experiencing any of these firsts. And that’s… that’s definitely something a couple should feel together. Like… Like, the excitement of moving into a new home! Or, adopting a puppy! It’s something we both should feel. Or even… Even the first time we have sex if at all we ever do… Which, we can’t? I don’t know. I really…”

    “Are you suggesting that physical stimulations are all that encompasses a romantic relationship?”

    “No, Connor. That’s not what I’m saying at all. I’m saying it’s important too. Because,” She leaned in and kissed Connor squarely on the mouth. Connor sat there, unmoving, his hands slowly wound around her figure, but it was mechanical. She pulled away a second later, “You didn’t kiss me back…”

He was supposed to move as well. His eyes widened. He wasn’t programmed to kiss. He wasn’t programmed to hold hands or feel the cold. He wasn’t programmed to learn what foods (y/n) liked or how her hair smelled. He wasn’t programmed to understand the way her intoxication works or why she blushes. Basically, Connor understood from that one-sided kiss that he wasn’t programmed to love.

But, he so badly wanted to.

    “(y/n)...” He said, his eyes widening. The LED at the side of his head turned red.

(y/n) leaned back and waited, her eyes widening at his sudden change in demeanor. She was panicking, not sure what to do.

    “Connor, is everything okay? What’s happening?”

    “I’m not quite sure. I feel things… I feel… I feel some things.”

    “Tell me,” She pressed her hands to his cheeks and forced him to look at her. Both of them were beside the couch now, sitting on the ground. “Tell me what those things are.”

    “I feel a strange sadness covering my view. I can’t understand or process why I am sad and I feel like I should be doing something, but I am not receiving any commands. My mind is null, no command is telling me to move yet I know I should be—”

    “You’re the one who has to give these commands, Connor. Close your eyes and listen to me. Listen to my voice.”

Is this an android panic attack? She thought before pulling him closer to her, holding him in her arms.

    “I feel like I have wronged you, (y/n). I’m going to research kissing. I’m going to research how to love, but I wasn’t programmed to do either of those.”

    “Connor,” She said, plainly, “Do you want to love me?”

He looked up at her. He raised his hand and placed it across her cheek, offered her a kind smile.

    “I have never wanted anything more in my life than loving you.”

    “Then don’t hold back.” She said, tears filling her eyes.

In one second, Connor had gone through 47,358 videos on how to kiss a lover. In one second, he had learned every technique there was to learn about kissing someone. And in one second, when his lips met hers, Connor had made the biggest decision he had ever made in his entire life.

He wanted to love. And he was sure as hell going to.

○

series taglist:

@ggukachuu​ @rainbowsithlord @pan-puff-pride​ @tanya-diggory​ @toocoldoutsideforyou​ @margaret-mortem​ @ohhhhhhsweetfandomofmine @pandacookieowo @maajikcrossing​ @inthemarveldumpster​ @iwannabemorethanme​ @creation-magician @icetealemonade @saphirepearl @ninjarose23​ @shaydeevee33​ 

[polygamyff]

40. Part 3

“Robyn, hey. My beautiful wife come on now. Wake up for me” scrunching my face up, I can feel the pounding of my head “Robyn, come on. It’s like two in the afternoon now, I got some water for you. Come on” opening my eyes slowly “don’t worry, I kept the blinds shut, just sit up for me” I groaned out closing my eyes again “dried up saliva all on the face, come up. Sit up” lifting my head up and then my head fell back on the pillow, opening my eyes slowly “hey” Leon is all in my face, I groaned out again “I know, Jacob does the same. Morning sleepy head come on. I got some water for you, drink up so you can get out of bed, I made you some food too” this is going to be painful, rubbing my eyes “don’t worry, I removed your makeup for you while you was asleep. I did the best I could for you” that made me smile, shuffling up in the bed “this is horrible Leon” I whined out, I want to cry now. Resting my back against the headrest, stifling out a yawn and then touching myself “what is this?” who’s sweatshirt am I wearing “oh please tell me I didn’t?” my eyes all wide “no, this is Jacob’ top, I changed you. It’s me duh, you know I always do that for you. I wouldn’t let you shame yourself like that, even though you punched me, anyways. Drink up” Leon picked up the glass from the side “thank you” taking the glass “then I want you to pee, come out. Eat and have some painkillers, cure this for yourself and then we need to talk” I actually need this water right now, the water touched my dessert dry mouth. I feel like I am watering myself, I can’t stop drinking “I knew you needed that, so you can wear this. Jacob don’t mind and yeah, come out. We are waiting for you; did you have a good time?” I feel so good, I feel watered. Looking at the glass, I near drank the whole glass “I am feeling happy, thank you. It was good” Leon took the glass from me “I am glad you had fun, also do you remember anything major, yes or no?” squinting my eyes at him “we went Playhouse” I said, Leon nodded his head “that is a start anyways, come on and get out of bed. We all want to go out again later” staring at Leon as he made his way out of the room, he said he wants to go out again but where exactly is this.

I feel like I should be ashamed, I don’t know why. I look a right state, the only thing I have done is flatten my hair down, but I need to leave this bathroom now. I am glad I didn’t wake up wanting to be sick, thank you Jesus. Opening the bathroom door and stepping out, so I am in an apartment. It’s a cute one too actually, very open planned. Looking down as I slowly made my way down the steps, ever so slowly “morning!!” Jacob shouted, I laughed shaking my head “stop it” I mumbled, let me just walk down the steps ever so slowly. I do not want to fall down these steps so let me just walk “nice to see you awake now boo” my head is pounding and them talking is not helping “I feel like I should be ashamed” I said, making my way to where Jacob is “no, over here. You need to eat, come on. To the bar stool, don’t she look nice in your top” Leon said, Leon is being a troll I look awful “she does, it’s been a while since I seen such nice legs, and yours of course Asia but it’s nice to see a different pair” Leon had really made me breakfast, I mean I don’t know if I can eat “come on sit” placing my hands on the side as I sat on the stool “this doesn’t smell right” I complained “try the toast first, come on. Eat, so you can have some tablets and we can move on from this” Leon is treating me like a child, maybe I am a child.

That felt painful to eat, I did it though. Sitting down on the couch “nice of you to join us Robyn” Jacob said “this was on Leon, he dragged me out of bed, or I would be asleep still. Did I ruin y’all day? Sorry if I did” Asia laughed “you didn’t, honestly it was a great night. It was fun, I was a little tipsy. Jacob told me I wanted to take the Uber driver home with me” I laughed; I knew the shit wasn’t funny but yet I was still laughing “am I drunks still but did you take him home?” I asked “drunks still? Girl, you must be” Asia said “I woke up and thought I sept with a man because I saw this top, honestly, I near died but then Leon dressed me. Thank you to my husband” Asia and Jacob both laughed “girl, you love some dick don’t you or should I say dike” placing my hand over my forehead “don’t, I have a heard so please don’t come to me with shit I have done wrong” Leon finally sat down across from me “I want you to get better” Leon said “also girl, you done waxed?” I laughed out “stop it, you know why that happened. I did for my wedding night” I rolled my eyes “it’s pretty and excuse me, why did you see that?” I asked “you took your thong off and flung it to me” Leon said as Asia gasped “wedding night? Are you married?” she asked “this would have been my wedding night, I was going to get married, but it didn’t happen” I shrugged “you know the dike thing, the guy she was texting. Him” Leon said, “texting whom?” I retorted “oh chile, you are funny. Like oh my god, we need to talk, ask these guys. This was all your fault, I was being harassed to the ends of earth because of you” I am confused on this matter “I don’t get it, and Asia. I was going to get married on my birthday, but I left him, men are just trash. They want to marry you but look at other women that do not even amount to you” Asia looked at me in sadness “there is no hope for me then, honestly men like trashy women though. Why you think I am also single” least she understands “you wanted that trash dike though” Leon keeps saying this “hold up, you both keep saying dike, what the fuck?” I don’t get it.

They all are laughing at me; I don’t like this at all “first of all I have a headache and you all are laughing at me. What did I do?” I need to know because this joke is between them all and I am not involved “oh, Robyn. You have Odell Beckham’ address in your phone also” Asia said “I remember him coming to the club but how did that happen? How did I get his number exactly, well address?” I did more than I think “well he bought you a bottle, we got it here still in the kitchen and he said happy birthday to you, you was flirting with him mad hard and he wanted to take you back, you was playing him off which he knew but he still wanted to give you his address, didn’t he say something like you never know what could happen and Robyn said I know what you want to happen but anyways, the best of all is. You’re on Odell’ Insta story, he posted the club picture of you both” what am I even like “it’s so funny, he was like I know I am being played but I am like letting it happen, he really liked you Robyn” placing my hands over my face, this is so shameful. I cannot believe it “he really did that? Oh my god show me, oh and I think I lost my phone. I didn’t see it?” I asked Leon “that is because I have it, we need to talk!” he eyeballed me “did I do more?” Asia shuffled over to me “it’s a cute picture though, the photographer took the photo, he obviously just took it from there” Asia held her phone to me “is that even me!? Oh my god, he is cute though. Wow ok, why do I look so happy” I am in disbelief with how happy I am, I am drunk though “he got his arm around you too, but there is another picture and it’s a group picture but yeah” Leon waved my phone around “we need to speak on something” he sat back down “did I do bad?” I must have because Leon is giving me judgemental looks.

Jacob is giggling “dike app just kills me every time ok, Leon tell her. All I am going to say is your baby father harassed Leon so much” pulling a face “why is he harassing you? What does it got to do with him?” Leon sighed out “so in your state, you text Maurice. You said to him dick appointment but on the text, it says dike app which is was we keep laughing at it” I gasped “no! Fuck, why did I do that? No!” I am so fucking annoying “he was like what, he didn’t get it and then you said something like dick appointment dick, we meet and that you hated him. So what you wanted was dick, you was in search of sex, you was so freaky Robyn” Leon said, Jacob laughed “all I kept hearing was I am gay Robyn, shut up” Leon side eyed Jacob “you stressed me out, you have never been so freaky with me like that anyways so you wanted dick, like for real you did Robyn, so he is texting are you ok and whatever but you are ignoring him laughing to yourself, so I text him saying you are fine. He called, so me and him go at it, Robyn I mentioned the name Jacob, oh he thought I got you with some man to have sex with, I was like he is gay, I fuck Jacob leave me alone. Then you were hiking your damn dress, I said stop I seen your pussy, he was shouting in my ear. So, I just ended it, he called you eleven times, the missed calls anyways, I ignored it, so I got you in bed. You fell asleep after you did a lot. He called again, I picked up, Maurice was angry he was acting like you was having sex I was like grow up, he was getting at me, like I put him on speaker, he was saying so much and I goes you know what facetime me, he did and I had to show him you in bed, he apologised but I goes she text you drunk, leave it as that she is fine. But he was very much saying shall he come, I said no but that was it, I am not sure if he did that or just left it as that” I want the ground to swallow me up, I am in shock. I am disgusted with myself right now “we all do stupid things” Asia said “but I don’t want to give him attention and I did” I am angry at myself.

Leon has given me my phone back, but I am not looking at it, I have many comments and followers now and it’s like I don’t see why “ok I am over it, it happened now. I just need to not text him again” Jacob scoffed “girl, if you were to get dick, get it from your ex. Best dick on earth, I say that. Sleep with the man you know, if you are needing it then you tell him, your inner whore wanted him” Jacob is right I guess “ugh, what a mess though. I don’t know, I shouldn’t have done it, to text him” I blew out air “anyways, are we drinking again tonight. I think I need to get drunk again” I pouted, I just feel like I preferred the drunk Robyn “we’re not exactly getting drunk, we are going on a road trip too. Drum roll please!” Asia said, Jacob did the drum roll “Vegas, we are staying there for one night. But if you do decide to get drunk then that is on you, but we are going to Vegas for one night, Leon is treating” I cooed out “we going Vegas? Ok I am here for that” my phone pinged, lifting my phone up, my face softened as I unlocked my phone.

From: Dad

To: Robyn

Happy Belated Birthday! I was nervous texting this to you because of everything but I have never forgotten a birthday of yours, I didn’t forget this one either! I hope you, your mother and Reign have a lovely time together, I am sorry for everything, but I do miss you and i wish I was a man about it all but you will always be my daughter. I have had time to reflect and I shouldn’t have bought you into it and for that I am sorry, I still think about how heartbroken you are. To me, you are always my daughter, I wish I could change the fact you found out. One day we will meet and talk about it and one day we will have that trip to New Zealand like we spoke on xx

I locked my phone, not something I wanted to see but also, I never changed his name to Thomas. Dad, do I have a dad. I am not sure after everything that has happened, I don’t want to think about that “anyways, I need to get drunk again” getting up from the couch.

Nalah thinks any of this is funny, it’s really not. How does she find the fact Robyn is prancing around hiking her dress up funny, I now Robyn is awake now and she is not answering me at all “are you still annoyed? Maurice, it happens, she was celebrating her birthday and she thought of you. Why are you sat there angry? I don’t get it at all, she texts you about dick and now it’s over with. Leon told you now get over it. Dad is meeting us for a meal, so can you dress Reign. Wait till I tell Robyn your refusal to dress Reign and let her sit in her diaper all day” Nalah is annoying “but she likes it, do you know how annoying it is dressing her and then undressing her, she is happy. Look at her” looking over at Reign “you are showing us them rolls” grabbing her foot, Reign looked at my hand “you are so cute, so Nalah said we have to dress you. What we thinking momma? Chanel? Fendi? Burberry?” picking her up “I think we will put your best on, we will put Fendi on you” getting up from the couch “oh wow, look at Robyn meeting other people” glaring over at Nalah “what?” Nalah held her phone to her chest “show me!?” what is she even hiding it for “she met Odell Beckham” Nalah grinned “he can’t even play football, that is wack but show me” fixing Reign in my arms “once you dress Reign and do her hair, I know Reign kept you up last night and you all tired but you need to make the effort Maurice. I am only here to watch over you, this is your daughter” mean mugging Nalah “show me Robyn” I don’t want to hear a lecture at all, Nalah turned her phone to me “he has a big jaw, he is ugly. Like I don’t get it” he is so ugly, Nalah laughed. Robyn looks so pretty though, Reign pointed at Nalah’ phone “aww you seen mommy” Nalah said “is there anything else?” I asked, I didn’t see any of this “erm, she has been tagged in some others” Nalah looked back at her phone “you missing mommy? So, am I” I feel like Reign is not settling with me or is it me, I am not sure “here” Nalah turned the phone to me “Damon!? That nigga likes her! This is wack, fuck this shit” walking off to the bedroom, l am not happy at all.

Reign whined out “what? Look, I am trying, I am here trying to do pigtails” moving back from the bed “Reign, Mi Amor!” she looked up at me, she is all teary eyed because I was doing her hair “I preferred it when you getting bald, catching an attitude with me” shaking my head “tonight, I will have her ok. You just have some sleep” Nalah said, looking behind “I am fine, I don’t need you” how annoying “you didn’t sleep well last night Maurice, you’re becoming annoyed with Reign and then this Robyn thing is upsetting you. Just let me have her so you can sleep, you need your rest too ok?” nodding my head “you’re not well, don’t forget that. Just enjoy Reign while she is here, whatever Robyn is doing she is just having a good time and at the end of the day she text you, nobody else. She did ask about Reign just a few minutes ago” so she didn’t message me back “and what did you say?” I asked “I said she is ok, she said that she is going Vegas for a night” I scoffed “I wonder what other man she will pull or take pictures with; I don’t want it. I just want her with me, I fucked up” she seems so happy in the pictures too “that is something you need to figure out, I will get the SUV around” nodding my head.

Walking inside the restaurant behind Nalah, my dad got up straight away. It was like the queen came to see him, he wasn’t even looking at Nalah, he is so excited to see Reign but with the way I feel he can have her right now “good to see you Nalah, Maurice and look at her, the apple of my eye you have grown. Come here, come to your old grandpapi” my dad took Reign from me “oh I have I missed you so much, no facetime no nothing Reign. Your grandma has been asking about you haven’t you” sitting down in a huff “my little Reign, how you sweetie” look at these two just gushing over Reign “mi Reina, I love you so much” my dad sat down with Reign “how are you son? You look tired?” my mom said, nodding my head “I am tired” she got that right “how come she let you have this little angel?” my dad asked “it’s her birthday and I asked, she said I can have her for this weekend but looks like she is having too much fun now, so yeah I got her” my dad is still a little sore with me “I forgot to text Robyn, it was her birthday. Well I hope she had a good time, because we are. We have you” Reign grabbed the spoon on the table, she will grab anything now “oh no, you will hurt yourself now. Let’s not do that” Robyn is going Vegas, a place I was going too. Men are looking at Robyn, they want her, and I fucked that up.

I have alerts on when Robyn posts anything and well, she posted a picture of her and Odell, the very same picture Odell put up. I mean I am not jealous of a nigga with a big jaw, I really don’t care because I mean look at him. He has his health, he has money and is showing Robyn interest and I had that “staring at the picture will not make it any better, are you stalking his page?” Nalah said “no, Robyn put it up” I scrolled up, Nalah let out an oh “wait go back down” Nalah snatched my phone from me, frowning at her as I watched what she did, peeping what Nalah is looking at “Odell commented on her post” frowning at the comment “imagine seeing you here, why did he put that?” I looked at Nalah “she replied back, she put stalker much?” that is Robyn all over, smart ass mouth “and he put look in the notes and that is it” snatching my phone from Nalah “we didn’t come here for this business Maurice, I wanted a family meal with my kids and grandchild, what is wrong with you? Put your phone down” I am thirty and my dad speaks to me like this “what?” locking my phone “what are you doing?” he asked “nothing, are we done here? I want to go back now?” we ate, I want to go now “not exactly Maurice, I want to know you’re making the right steps for Reign. So she goes back when?” he asked “Monday she flys back” my dad nodded his head “you offer that home to Robyn, you need to tell Robyn that she needs to move to New York unless you don’t want to see Reign? There is one thing I won’t have and is to not know Reign and to know she is not around because of your stupidness, you ruined her home now you make it better” rolling my eyes, I don’t need my dad on my case “her mother is out, what you want me to do?” I shook my head “and that bothers you, so when do you next see Reign?” he is asking me like I know “I don’t know, look dad I am tired. I have not slept last night, she wouldn’t settle. Just let me breathe!” he is too much “that is you being a father Maurice, what else is it? It’s hard being a father” now he is annoying “what do you know about being one? I had a nanny clean my ass, you saw me once I was dressed for morning breakfast at seven, I actually do it myself. You didn’t lose sleep, did you? Don’t talk to me about it” my dad is not happy with me “but did that make you any better? You still became a crackhead, didn’t you? I gave you most my time and still you are a mess, you still make mistakes. I allowed you to get divorced to be happy and you make a mess of that, I will not allow you to personally make a mess of us seeing this child seeing as you can’t help yourself. You offer that home to Robyn, you tell her to move to New York and say to her it will be best for you both, if not then you get a home for them both in a nice area in California, then you make a schedule with Wade, I don’t care how but you should be a seeing her for a week or two, and if you can’t handle it because Nalah can’t wipe your ass too, then you get a nanny, and if I find out your making a mess of this then Maurice I will go above your head and will do something that will upset you, Joy I am sick of him” my dad is always at me now.

I can’t believe Robyn is in Vegas and look where I am, I guess who got the last laugh in this “Maurice, your dad does love you. He is upset that is all, he is worried that Robyn will end up making it hard for us to see her. He doesn’t want it to be getting messy, he really saw the good. He was just as happy as you were that you was getting married, he was so angry you came to us with the mess you created yourself” I don’t know what they wat from me “I am the one hurting, I am the one missing her. I am suffering don’t worry” my phone pinged, looking down and seeing Robyn commented thank you on my post, I mean it’s late for that “I don’t think she has written you off Maurice, she is hurting and right now she will do anything to forget that pain. Us women do that, but I think if you want real advice, I think you need to give it some time and show you are a really sorry. I wish you felt like this when you were with her, you should always feel like this with Robyn. Because honestly she did so much for you, and you can’t say she didn’t and you took it too far” Nalah said “Robyn just needed to just accept it was in my nature, I was never going to do anything with these women” I said in my defence “neither is she and how do you feel right now?” Nalah shut my ass up instantly, I had nothing else to say.

[eyes-of-fanfiction-green]

Find Me (Part 2)

Cop!Dean x kidnapped!Reader

!!PART 1 here!!

!! PART 3 here!!

MASTERLIST

Summary: Dean and his K9 Unit are helping with the investigation of the serial kidnappings and murders case. But this isn’t the typical case he was expecting, with love and life-threatening danger thrown at him along the way.

Warning: This has a thriller movie kind of vibe at some parts.

A/N: eep! I actually am like planning ahead the storyline on this one, yay!! I’m really excited about this story.

Dean quickly jogged through the entrance of the, now very much awake and bustling, station heading straight to Detective Hendrickson, who was huddled in the back corner talking with his group of people. He glanced over and caught Dean’s eye, waving him over urgently.

“Winchester, good. I’m glad you’re here. We’re on the clock again.” Hendrickson started rifling through the files in his hands, passing a few to Dean as he spoke. “New victim: [Y/F/N] [Y/L/N], physical description is in the file, reported missing this morning around 0600 when her friends noticed she wasn’t at her early morning shift at work and went to check on her. They said they reported it right away because of hearing about the past victims in the news. Victim was last seen being dropped off at her apartment the night before by her two cousins, they stated they were bar-hopping together until 1am last night. For now, we are categorizing her apartment as the crime scene and kidnapping location.”

Dean nodded critically as he took notes of the information.

“The address for the apartment is in that file,” Hendrickson continued, “I want you to head over there with your K9 unit and assist the investigation with the on-scene forensics team there. We need to know exactly what happened last night.”

“Yes, sir.” Dean took the last file grimly and headed right back out to his car, picking Indie up from the police kennels where he just dropped him off minutes before along the way.

He sat in the front seat for a moment, going over the rest of the information as quickly as possible. He knew it was important for him to get over there as fast as possible, but he also knew that he needed all the knowledge of this victim that he could get before going in.

His eyes swept speedily through the pages in front of him before faltering slightly at the sight of the victim’s picture.

She was lovely.

Her hair was silky, and her eyes were vibrant. She was laughing at the camera in the middle of what appeared to be someone’s party, her teeth were flashing into the most genuine smile and for a moment Dean almost felt himself smile back.

Gazing at her joyful face, Dean felt a dull stab in his chest knowing that wherever she was now, she most definitely wasn’t smiling. She was probably terrified. And alone…

Dean huffed out a breath and piled the files in the passenger seat. He turned on Baby’s engine and looked back at Indie to give him a sad, little smile before tearing down the street towards the apartment.

-------------------

You shifted in your bonds, rolling your shoulders back to ease out the crick that was forming.

Welp. This wasn’t good.

You couldn’t really remember what happened last night, though the crusted blood at the back of your head was a tell-tale sign of why that was. You vaguely recalled getting home pretty tipsy from hanging out with your cousins.

You had gone into the kitchen to grab some water. You’d heard a noise…then nothing. It was blank.

The ropes were digging into your wrists as you tried to ease pressure off of the raw skin, but it was no use. You leaned your head back against the wall with a sigh.

You weren’t an idiot. You had heard about the other kidnappings-turned-murder and had a pretty good idea of what was going on. It may not be helping keep the panic in your chest at bay, but hey, at least you knew.

One good thing, or maybe not, was that your captor had taken off your blindfold the last time he had checked on you, he wore a mask, of course, but now you could take stock of your surroundings better.

The cellar-type room that you were currently being held hostage in was disgusting. The cobbled-stone floor was slimed over with mud, feces, and blood. Oh joy.

There was a little commune of rats huddling maliciously in the corner, you were actively ignoring those little buggers, but other than that you were alone.

Well… at least you were…

The metal door hinges screamed as your captor chose that moment to enter your “cell”.

“Oh! Fancy meeting you here!” You tried to quip, although the roughness and cracking in your voice probably wasn’t helping portray the false bravado.

“Don’t be snide sweetheart, it doesn’t suit you.”

You felt your head whip to the side as he slapped the crap out of your face. Damn, now your face was on fire.

“Need to make sure you’re nice and settled in before I go mingling about outside…”

There was a clanging sound as you felt him lock iron chains around your wrists and ankles, before cutting off the now unnecessary ropes.

He patted the side of your stinging face, and you caught a glint of maliciousness in his eyes peaking through the mask, “I’ll be back soon precious. Don’t worry.”

You felt a shiver crawl up your shiver as he walked out and locked the door behind him.

Escaping would be a really good idea right now…

--------------------

Dean ran a frustrated hand through his hair, tugging at the ends as he gave the apartment one last once-over.

They couldn’t find anything.

He and Indie had been working with the team there for hours and still nothing. There was no sign of forced entry. No sign of a struggle. Everything was clean and precise. Almost too clean.

Whoever they were dealing with was certainly clever, that much was obvious from the fact that they were on their fifth victim and still hadn’t gotten caught.

Dean huffed out his frustration, the image of the girl’s face flashing before his eyes. There had to be something here.

So, he kept looking.

An hour or so later, everyone had left and gone back to the station, but Dean just pursed his lips and kept looking. He scoured the living room, the kitchen, the bedr-

He stopped.

In the back corner of the carpet of the bedroom was… Dean squinted and crept closer, crouching down to get a better look.

Footprints.

He almost jumped for joy as he quickly pulled out his phone, snapping a picture and sending it to forensics before examining it further. Just the slightest indentation of …size 11?... boots lay imbedded in the carpet. The kidnapper must have been waiting for her, standing in this corner hiding for hours.

Okay. Evidence. And a shoe size.

Well at least that was something. Which was more than they’d had before.

Dean grinned down at the boot prints. They would catch him in time. He was sure of it. After an hour later and nothing else turning up, Dean decided it was time to head back to the station and give a proper report.

He practically bounded down the building’s steps, Indie on his heels, humming a little AC/DC under his breath. He went over to the back right door, letting Indie jump into his kennel, before going over to the driver’s door.

He hopped in, started up his Baby and…

He froze.

There, sitting innocently on the top of his dashboard was a note.

He carefully slipped on his gloves and picked it up. There was dread forming in the pit of his stomach. This was just sitting in his car. His LOCKED car.

He bit his lip nervously as he opened it, hands shaking only slightly.

--“I’m bored.

You’re smart.

Let’s play a game, shall we?”—

Dean’s eyes widened and he swallowed hard. He heard Indie whining worriedly from the backseat, smelling the terrified energy rolling off of him in waves.

“Fuck, Indie. We are so in over our heads…”

——————————————————————————————————

PART 3 here!

Thank you for reading!! Please let me know what you thought so far in the comments!! And if you want to be added to my tag list!

@22sarah08 @cocklesbelli @chook007

Also, little tid bit. I named the dog Indie after Indiana Jones (and the dog he was named after) cause I just needed this little canon where Dean is an Indiana Jones fanboy dork and I love it. No regrets.