#tiny house under 80k

[tinyhousecalling]

400 Sq Ft Charming Tiny Cottage For Sale in Eagar AZ $78k

400 Sq Ft Charming Tiny Cottage For Sale in Eagar AZ $78k

Great quiet location. This is very well built, cozy and charming tiny cottage. This was used for a guest house and is currently 400 sq ft.  338 S Nicoll St, Eagar, AZ, 85925 $78,000 1 bed 1 bath 400 sq ft 0.32 acre lot Build date 2012 Google Map Property Listing Realtor: Jody Emerald Related: 120 Sq Ft Tiny One Room Cabin w/ Unobstructed Views of San Francisco Peaks in Flagstaff AZ About This…

[majimemegoro]

For the occasion of Majima’s birthday, I present for your reading pleasure, the opening sequence of my 80k+, nearly-complete magnum opus: Livin in the Future

One morning Majima wakes up and before he even opens his eye, something is different. The taste of the air? The heat? The window is open - which is strange, because he had the air conditioning on last night - and the sounds of the street drift in much too clearly for a penthouse apartment. The early morning smog carries the strong flavour of petrol, making him wrinkle his nose against the way it grates on the slight pressure of a hangover headache. It’s an extra-pungent smell he isn’t used to; more like a clunky old car in the country than most of the sleek vehicles in Kamurocho. And, again, not something he should be smelling in this sort of ritzy apartment. He hopes it isn’t some kind of chemical leak. He’d hate to have to beat in the kneecaps of the utilities guys. He opens his eyes - his eyes - and the world around him is yellow: cracked ceiling, tiny apartment cast in sunlight coming through the ugly, fluttering curtain, beat-up transistor radio, empty bottles on the counter - and he recognizes the morning, like he recognizes the distinctive feeling of a punch to the gut from Saejima: intimately. It’s the morning of April 21st. Nineteen eighty-five. So Majima has had strange mornings before, but never like this. He slaps himself in the face really hard. And if the vividness of the smells and sights and his clarity of mind weren’t enough to prove that this isn’t some phantasm, some especially realistic dream or nightmare or trip or hallucination, the sting of the slap is. Enough to prove it. He jumps up from the section of the floor that is his bed, and adjusting to losing his depth perception was hard, but apparently adjusting to getting it back is going to be harder, because he misjudges something and winds up throwing himself across the room into the counter, knocking some shit off it with a resounding crash that sets drunken swearing coming up from the apartment below. “Shut the fuck up!” he shouts back on instinct, stomping on the floor. A muffled series of bangs comes in response before the downstairs neighbour concludes the ritual by going back to sleep. ‘Grumble-san,’ Saejima used to call him. They never bothered learning his real name. They did a lot of shit wrong, Majima realizes. A lot of things that he would change if he could. It’s the morning of April 21st, 1985, and Majima has two eyes and Saejima isn’t in jail yet. Just like that, suddenly Majima is shaking. There is so little time to fix things. A few hours. His breath stops, while his heart flutters like a trapped butterfly. The feeling is something between frenzied hope and outright panic. He’s not used to getting second chances. He wants to stagger upright and sprint to Saejima’s house in his underwear and shake him like a puppy and spit at him and bite him until he understands, until he agrees to just fucking run away from all this and go be hermits in the woods or something, anything, because they can avoid all the heartache, all the torture and years of suffering and loneliness, mend the void between them before it ever existed, they can make things right- Except Saejima would never do that. He’s so young and fiery and stubborn, he’s just a kid with so much growing up to do. He would rather die than run away. And things haven’t been great between them lately anyway (1985 lately, same as in the present), and Majima has been more unstable than usual so Saejima will just think he’s had another break with reality like the night with the kitchen knife, and Saejima will just stick him somewhere he can’t hurt himself (with Shimano? No, Sasai?) and do the fucking job alone. And they’ll be back where they started. He needs to be smart. Majima sits down hard on the ground before his legs can collapse under him, bracing his hands against the grimy linoleum. His stomach grumbles and he looks down and - was he really ever this skinny before the hole? But he had so few scars? You fucking baby, he wants to say to his past self, you’re so lucky and so cocky and so naïve. But then - not as lucky as he had remembered. He crawls to the tiny beer fridge and opens it to reveal - beer. How revolutionary. A few sad-looking, dirt cheap cans of the stuff sit on the moldy shelf. He can remember the flavour like it was yesterday. (It was yesterday, for his tongue. The strongest, cheapest beer available, and watermelon.) No food anywhere in the apartment, if he recalls correctly, so he cracks open a can and takes a gulp, almost spluttering at the taste. Get a grip, old man, he thinks. You’re that used to the ritzy shit that you can’t handle a little convenience store drain water? It’s disgusting, but it’s the best thing he’s tasted in years. Because there across from him, hanging like a spectre from the curtain rod, is the black suit, carefully cleaned and pressed and set out for the day’s events. Majima crawls over to the radio and turns it on with a spurt of static, and he has a plan.

[unsettledink]

Back in the days of LJ, I used to try and do a post at the end of each year, looking back primarily at fandom and fic. I fell out of the habit when everything moved to tumblr, and then it seemed like I didn’t have anything to say since I wasn’t writing or really participating any. 

But I always liked the idea of it, because I love to be overly reflective on stuff. And talk about my fic. Any excuse! I shuffled around some of the topics I used back then and added a few I’ve seen around that I liked. It got… long, because I TALK, so I split into two sections. 

*

Your main fandom of the year? 

    Marvel (MCU) for sure. Primarily with characters from Spider-Man and Iron Man movies.

Your favorite film watched this year?

    The Old Guard - I saw a couple trailers and everything about it looked like catnip. ‘It’s probably going to be so dumb, but I don’t even care,’ I thought. And then it was so good. It was so much fun and so much smarter than I expected and I loved each and every character and it just made me happy in so many ways.

Your favorite book read this year?

    Red, White, and Royal Blue, Casey McQuiston - I read it twice this year actually. It’s so… cute isn’t the right world. Sweet and hopeful and soft and comforting and intense. I liked every single character which is pretty rare. I cried during the sad parts and then again at the happy ending, like straight up sobbed - both times. I already want to read it again.

Your favorite tv show watched this year?

    Schitt’s Creek - I started it on a whim and because a lot of people had said it was good. The episodes were short so it wasn’t a huge time investment. The first season was a little rough, but there were enough funny moments that I hung on, and then… I kept getting fonder and fonder of these idiots as they grew. And THEN… it kept not disappointing me? 

     You grow to expect certain scripts, twists, jokes, especially in queer story lines. To wait for the bad thing to happen, because it always does. Instead, Schitt’s Creek kept going, ‘hey, here’s the set up for that! Guess what? We’re not doing it. Here’s the happy version instead.’ The relief of having that happen again and again - the last season I’ve watched (I’m sort of saving 6) I cried a bunch but it was always because I was happy. 

Your favorite album or song to listen to this year?

    1896 - I’ve been waiting for the new Steam Powered Giraffe album so eagerly for aaaaaages. Finally getting recordings of Zero’s songs! Lying Awake remains my favorite off the album, with Eat Your Heart and Bad Days on the Horizon high up there as well. I’m loving what Zero brings to the band.

Your best new fandom discovery of the year?

    I don’t know if I really did discover that much? I stuck pretty closely to old fandoms and the ones I picked up in 2019. Maybe Zodiac? It was definitely inspiring, and I want to write and read more in it. 

    Maybe the couple discords I joined? I still really dislike discord and am not on there much, and mostly lurk when I am, but having somewhere vaguely like the comms I remember makes me feel a little less isolated. It’s the potential, that maybe if I said something I might make a friend, or someone might actually want to hear what I say. 

Your biggest fandom disappointment of the year?

    The Watch - I mean, I knew it was going to be a disaster with every word said during pre production. I wasn’t ever going to be happy with it. And then it came out and was even worse and uglier and … disrespectful not just of the source material but of actual people connected to Terry. I’m beyond disappointed that this is what we got, and it’s probably going to be a long time before we get anything else. 

    Devil All the Time was terrible, but I didn’t have especially high hopes. It still didn’t manage to meet them. Yikes.

The most missed of your old fandoms?

    Maybe MASH? Someone I follow started talking about it and I was reminded all over again of the wonderful fics in that fandom. I went looking and a lot are gone (still on my computer, lol, but not online), but rereading was such a trip. A slightly depressing trip, but still. 

The fandom you haven't tried yet, but want to?

    Hmm. I’ve kind of not had the energy to invest in other fandoms at the moment? When The Witcher was having it’s big moment back in January, I had a feeling I might enjoy it enough to fall headfirst into the fandom, so I avoided watching it. Ikr? I don’t have the time or the energy to actively seek anything out. 

Your biggest fan anticipations for the New Year?

    SO EXCITED about Winter’s Orbit. I mean, the third Spider-Man movie for sure, with worry. The second Venom movie, ugh yes. I have tentative hopes for Jungle Cruise? Jumanji was stellar and I always enjoy Dwayne. I have both hope and dread for the new Suicide Squad - I did love Birds of Prey, so if it’s along those lines, yay. The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard because it should be some fun garbage, my favorite kind. I don’t know how I feel about Dune, but, uh, I’m anticipating it. It seems highly unlikely it will actually happen, but The Wheel of Time TV series. 

I want to be excited about Black Widow but it’s hard. It’s not the story I’ve been wanting to see, and I’m angry about Natasha not getting a movie until she’s dead.

You know. If any of it is released for real.

The Good: 

I moved to a better place. I got a better paying, better benefits, better environment job that lets me work from home. The house acquired 3-7 more cats depending on the month. I was able to get some serious problems on my car fixed. I have insurance and was able to start on some health stuff. No one I know got sick or died. I wrote a LOT.

The Bad: 

Aside from the obvious? Depression hitting extra hard during the winter. Having to put two kittens to sleep. Have my car be hit three times in our parking lot. Being driven INSANE by one of the cats for months while the vets were all closed. Kidney stone. Dealing with several health problems. Stalling for months on Gotcha.

The Indifferent: 

Not leaving the house often or easily. Enjoying a new fandom but not doing great at making connections (still real awkward, bud). Raising kittens and saying goodbye. Need new tires. Reading a lot of fic but not a lot of books. Having more pay but more expenses as well (wth insurance??). 

*

2020 fic stats

Number of stories: 39

Number of fandoms: 6? Or 2, if you cluster the others under mcu

Total number of words: 152049

Average word count per story: 4kish

Longest fic: Causality (18k, P/Q)

Shortest fic: Can’t, Won’t (1k, P/Q)

Most comments received: Sieche (49, T/P)

Fandom you wrote the most of: MCU Spider-Man - I only wrote TWO fics that didn’t feature that fandom, wow. And one of those was still MCU.

Fandom you wrote the least of: Zodiac (1!)

Events you participated in: Marvel Trumps Hate, Kinktober, IornspidersGeorg Exchange, Starker Festivals Exchange, MCU Secret Santa, Spiderio Big Bang

*

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you'd predicted?

    SO MUCH MORE OMG. I mean, even just counting posted stuff! (I probably wrote a solid 300k of Gotcha this year.) I did not expect or plan on doing Kinktober, so that’s a whole 31 fics right there. I also wasn’t planning on doing any exchanges - I have a History - but then I did three? And beyond that, I did not expect for everything to get so LONG.

Topic you wrote that you would never have predicted in January:

    Tony/Quentin. Goddammit @the-me09 They were like hey, they could be interesting! And while I agreed, I had no ideas for them. THEN they had to go and write Just Bodies That Collide and next thing I know, I’ve got ten fics featuring them and two-six series focused on them or Peter/Quentin/Tony. What the fuck. 

Leitmotif of the year:

    Vulnerability, I think. I had a bunch of things typed up and they all circle back to vulnerability in the end; sex, being seen, being wanted, sharing trauma, asking for help, trying something new. Offering a soft spot in the hopes it won’t be hurt. 

Favorite character to write about: 

    Tony Stark, for sure. There are just a bunch of slightly different takes, and a lot of canon to work with (kind of frustrating too though). And I’m a sucker for emotionally damaged snarky traumatized characters that are viewed poorly both in universe and out. 

Favorite kind of fic to write:

    This year? Fluff and smut combined. Maybe that’s not the right term really. I keep looking for and writing, even in the angstiest fics, for those soft moments. Sure, maybe it’s a super smutty kink scene, but I want the affection to be obvious. Maybe everyone is consumed by guilt, but I want it to be based in caring too much. Maybe there’s no real love, just sex and even that’s messed up, but I want to find that tiny bit of fondness. 

    And I want happy endings. Or endings that look like they’re going to be happy, at least, even if there’s all the angst first. I don’t think I’ve killed anyone this year? Who AM I? 

Biggest disappointment:

    Not finishing the rough draft of Gotcha. I was making such good progress in 2019, from August to December. Even after the move, I basically finished part 6 in January. I fumbled around and fussed with 1 a lot, but that had already been given one draft, really, and I got through half of 4 before I slowed to a stop. I’ve barely gotten anything accomplished on it since June. Bits and pieces here and there, but nothing significant, not like I was doing. I can excuse October, due to 80k invested in Kinktober (yikes!), but aside from that… I’m sad. I’ll finish it eventually, but I really thought I could have the first draft done in a year. I’m sitting at about 480k out of what I’m almost certain will be 700k. 

Biggest surprise:

    Kinktober! It was kind of spur of the moment, decided just a week in advance. I’ve tried month long or even like, 20-25 day long challenges and I don’t think I’ve ever completed one. I thought there was a good chance I’d do so again, so I gave myself a little help and made my own list of prompts, things I knew I liked and hadn’t done much of yet. And it worked? I actually completed it, what the hell? Despite spending five days travelling near the end! Despite falling behind in getting ahead and writing a bunch of stories the day they were to be posted! Despite apparently forgetting how to do short form! 

    I, uh, could have done without the spawning of eleven series or sequels or continuations jfc WHY SELF.

Something you learned this year:

    Ideas breed ideas. I swear to god, the second I sit down to think through a current idea, I wake up the next morning with three more. 

    Words need to be restocked. I need to consume new - not rereads, not fic - content every so often to refresh my word bank. It is astonishing how quickly writing goes again after I’ve done so.

    I can write so much more than I thought I could. I can do so much more than I thought I could. Yes, I can complete challenges without dropping out early. Yes, I can do exchanges and not regret it. Yes, I can write more than 100k, more than 200k, more and more - and I can write 10k+ easily too. Though I wouldn’t mind if I could once again write less than 10k without feeling like I’ve cut off in the middle. 

    My time is shrinking, and if I want to write as much, I’m going to have to make the time. I can’t rely on three days off a week, on seven hours of uninterrupted overnight shifts, on hyper focused writing binges that leave everything else around me on fire. 

Most memorable comment: 

    So, so many! I can’t pick one. I’ve been really lucky to get a bunch of really detailed, enthusiastic, analyzing comments across all different fics. One of the types that always sticks with me are the ones like ‘I didn’t think/know I liked this ship/kink/twist, but fuck, apparently I do? You made me, what the hell?’. 

What, if anything, are you going to try to do differently in your writing in the new year?

So with writing Gotcha but not posting until it’s done, my view of what I’ve written vs anyone else’s is extremely skewed. I’m sitting here thinking, hey I’m 400k in and got another 10k done today, so much writing! While anyone looking at my AO3 account (for most of the year) is like, you’re averaging three months between fics :(

    All that to say I want to try and get something posted more frequently while I’m working on Gotcha.

    Also, writing for kinktober was really interesting - pushing myself to write every single day, often for that day’s post, forced me to get back into shorter form fic. Which used to be all I did? But it was surprisingly hard to just stop and not write more. So I’d like to challenge myself to write more fics under 10k at least. Maybe even under 5k though that might be asking a lot lol. I might get there with the many continuations of those fics I’d like to do. Does that count?

Goals:

   I want to hit 365 fics. :) I’m only 32 away!

    Aside from writing - 

    I’ve really enjoyed the reading record sideblog I started this year. I’ve let it lapse a little the past month or so, but I’d like to keep it going strong. 

    I’d like to leave a lot more comments. I want to get better about allowing imperfection - I want to write The Best Comment, but in the end? Probably 90% of fic writers are going to be happier with a comment expressing enjoyment in any way over no comment at all. 

And not just on fics, but on general posts as well. It’s hard not to feel… weird and stupid and invasive and rude leaving any sort of comment on someone’s post if I don’t know them at least a little. I have godawful rejection sensitive dysphoria and a lot of interactions that ended poorly; I’m really not good at people. But as dumb as it feels to say those things, I know I am thrilled and warmed and happier when there’s a reblog with tags or a note or a comment or an ask or just, any small interaction that shows someone out there notices and cares, at least a little. There’s no reason I can’t at least try to offer that to other people. 

    I’d like to make/run a couple challenges of my own, later in the year. I’m still figuring out what I want to do and what I could do. I’m really interested in doing something that’s not focused on creators, but the readers; some sort of comment or rec challenge maybe.

    I want to find a cheerleader for Gotcha. I’m struggling to keep up my motivation to write it when it’s already in my head, where I can ‘read’ it any time. There’s a line between depending too much on external validation and trying to generate all your validation yourself, and I’m getting to a point where I think I need to ask for help (gasp! The hardest thing EVER). 

*

(Part Two: Pick Some Fics)

[yourereallyhere]

Hi!! What are your favorite fics?

Phewwww what a loaded question!! Actually every time I finish a fic I write it down, so right now I have a whole doc filled with titles of literally *hundreds* of fics. Major yikes.

I don’t even know when I’m gonna post that because I’ve been working on it for so long and I read new fics every day

I looked through it and am posting some of the titles that I remember more, but I’ll try and post the whole list this week! And I will tag you (and everyone else lmk if you want to be tagged as well)

Again, all of these fics were amazing and I started this list so many months ago, I think it’s been 7 months? Wow.. so I just skimmed through and am posting the ones that I just recognized from the names :)) that’s why it took so long for me to answer this !!

The very tiny portion of fics are under the cut, right now im reading The House Guest by Shippershape (99k) as I wait for everything else to be updated, and I really love it so far!!!

PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU READ THE TAGS BEFORE READING THE FICS

tldr; I have a list of 200+ fics that ill (hopefully) post this week

JUST REITERATING THAT ALL THE FICS I HAVE IN MY LIST ARE AMAZING AND THIS IS JUST A REALLY SMALL PORTION OF IT

Eventually by April7739 -- 437k

This was the first (really long) bellarke fic I ever read and I was HOOKED

I Don’t Need Your Love (I Just Need You Now) by theinvisibledisaster aka the one and only QUEEN @talistheintrovert​  -- 120k

THIS GIRL NEVER FAILS TO MAKE ME CRY I swear

Don’t Wake Me, I’m Not Dreaming by grumpybell -- 56k

how do people even have the talent 

Survivor’s Guilt by LaughingSenselessly -- 103k

I know im basic and everyone puts this in their lists but ITS WORTH IT

And I Love This Place, the Enormous Sky by Chash -- 11k

you already know im a hoe for arranged marriages

I Hear You’re Somewhere In the Sand by Chash -- 22k

this author is just so good IM SORRY

Double Infinity by @asroarke -- 143k

THE ANGST. THE ACTION. THE SMUT.

The Cracks in Our Armor by TheBashfulPoet -- 157k

by now you’ve noticed I love long fics. slow burn??? sign me tf up!

The Color of Grief by @chase-the-windandtouch-the-sky​ -- 80k

LINDSEY DESTROYED ME

This is a Song About Somebody Else by grumpybell -- 35k

surviving the apocalypse, truly one of a kind

How You Stay Alive by LaughingSenselessly -- 88k

INSANE reincarnation au. accompanied by How You Save a Kingdom -- 34k, historical arranged marriage prequel

His Moon, His Light in the Darkness by andsowemeetagain -- 134k

inspired by ACOTAR which I hadn’t heard of before.. AMAZING

Weave Me A Myrtle Crown by AJRedfern -- 79k

I would sell my soul for an update :’(

Stardust, In You and In Me by @she-who-the-river-could-not-hold -- 33k

s o u l m a t e s

I would take it back (For just another minute, just another chance with you) by andsowemeetagain -- 107k

they-were-in-love-and-now-they’re-BACK

In the Skylines up Ahead by prosciutto -- 19k

soulmates who can talk through THEIR MINDS

Sleight of Hand by prosciutto -- 57k

criminal baddies

Lie to Me by @asroarke -- 14k

they’re in d e n i a l and they’re soulmates

Mindless Dreaming by Malliday -- 78k

TWO MORE CHAPTERS LEFT IM DYING

Bury A Friend, Try To Wake Up by theinvisibledisaster aka @talistheintrovert -- 44k

yes this is me being annoying and telling talis I NEED an update

anyways I know most of these are super long I just LIVE for the build up

a lot of the ones on my huge list are one-shots if you’re more into that :)

[child-of-sunshine]

Just gotta rant for a minute so this is going under a cut

I can’t stand the way tumblr in general talks about “rich people” (which they can’t define to save their fucking lives) and particularly when they mention “millionaires” as though it actually means something significant in terms of wealth. 

First, no one seems to understand that by today’s inflated standards, a million dollars really isn’t that much. A quick google search will tell me that the average “middle-income” parent in America will spend over 250k to raise a child from birth to 18 years old. If a couple has 4 kids, they’re already spending over a million dollars on those kids. Yes, that’s over 18 years, but it’s still meaningful.

If a person makes 100k, which is supposedly the 85th percentile of income, it only takes them 10 years to make a million dollars. And yes, obviously they’re spending money too, and it’s not like their savings or their net worth are going to be a million in that time, but people don’t even seem to comprehend that their earnings over that time would literally be a million. Someone earning the average American income, let’s say 50k because I get conflicting information from various sources, would only take 20 years to earn a million dollars.

And calling “millionaires” (putting that in quotes because people (a) do NOT understand the difference between net worth and actual liquid assets or even income) rich, particularly in the context of the “eat the rich” rhetoric, is ridiculous. I know this site has a serious problem with black-and-white thinking, but for fuck’s sake.

Let’s take a look at my parents.

My dad grew up in a relatively low-income household. His mother’s grandparents came straight from Italy with a few dollars in their pockets and nothing else. Her family struggled to get food on the table at times. She worked very hard as a seamstress and married a man who had a good job at Ford back when that meant actual benefits including into retirement, and so they managed to raise two boys without having to worry too much about being able to afford food or housing. They saved like crazy and spent the minimum that they possibly could on themselves, so that when they reached retirement, they had a pretty decent amount of savings for the rest of their lives and could finally enjoy some luxury vacations and get a small but nice house in Florida.

My mom grew up in a truly low-income household. She was the youngest of five siblings living in a tiny, shitty town in Nowhere, Michigan, with two parents who smoked constantly, in a house that sat next to some kind of horrifying mystery waste pond (she and both of her sisters had cancer, my mom at just 36, and one of her brothers died from some kind of unknown neurological deterioration). Her father got TB and spent time in a sanitarium, after which he became a withdrawn alcoholic and then died relatively young. Her mother became depressed, stopped working, and died of cancer. My mom lost both of her parents in her early 20s, before she even met my father.

Both of my parents were gifted with the great privileges of great brains and being white. Even in their crappy hick town in the middle of nowhere, my mom managed to be in the top of her class (of 56 whole people) in high school and earned a scholarship to a state university, literally the only way she could have afforded to attend. My dad worked to pay for his college as far as I know (because back then you could actually do that). They both got bachelor’s degrees. My dad became an engineer, a good career, and quickly found a job with a relatively new, small local company. He worked extremely hard, long hours for years and moved up to being a manager, and the company has grown a lot over the 25+ years he’s now worked there, with the result that he now makes a low six-figure salary. My mom took a computer programming course after realizing her journalism degree wouldn’t get her much paid work, and has worked as a programmer for 25+ years now, switching jobs sometimes, usually making somewhere in the 60-70k range in the last decade or so.

My mother got pregnant with my sister around the time she and my dad got engaged. She was working a crappy programming job and he’d barely started as an engineer, making nowhere near six figures. They lived in a trailer park, in a trailer with a hole in the floor and steps that were a safety hazard. She’d spent some time living with her sister, who’s 13 years older than her and never had children (thus had a house and some savings). My dad’s mother, the seamstress, made my mom’s wedding dress for free as long as my mom bought the material for it, which was just about all they could afford. They had a nice, small wedding when my sister was about 2 (she was afraid of my mom’s dress lmao) and one of my cousins took the pictures.

Four years after my sister was born, my parents had saved up enough to put a down payment on our house, a moderate-sized family home in a suburban neighborhood that was just being built. The house was a little over 200k. She got pregnant with me and the house was finished just after I was born.

My mom got cancer when I was 2 years old. They haven’t talked to me much about it. Her sister spent a lot of money to buy her a really nice wig made of animal hair (which, unfortunately, she could rarely wear because it made her very itchy). She went through surgery, chemo, and radiation. She spent months sick as hell and miserable, while trying to raise two young daughters. Thankfully, they’d saved enough to be able to handle the medical bills, particularly with my dad’s good job that had good benefits and, by then, was paying him a pretty decent salary. My mom recovered, thankfully (over 20 years in remission now!).

In 2008, when the recession hit, my mom lost her job quickly. She tried finding new ones but couldn’t. No one was hiring programmers, they were getting rid of them. Her depression got a lot worse. I was in high school and depressed myself (in large part because of the situation at home, though my parents don’t know it, that became suicidal depression a while afterward), and they had to start paying for therapy for me. My sister was in college and had to try to pay for it herself because my parents’ college fund for her hadn’t gone as far as they’d hoped. My dad’s company supplies machines to auto manufacturers. They were worried. They laid off some people, thankfully not my dad, and others had to take pay cuts. My parents started sitting down and seriously going over finances. My mom and I had to completely quit figure skating, my only physical stress outlet (like I said, that contributed a LOT to the severe depression). We had to cut down the grocery bills and think about not buying gifts for family members’ birthdays and such. My grandparents, happily retired by then with good savings, paid off the rest of our mortgage and told my dad to pay them back without interest whenever he could, so that no matter what happened with the jobs, we at least wouldn’t have to worry about losing our house. I listened to my parents scream at each other over money and I cried myself to sleep a lot of nights.

Guess what? My dad is a millionaire. Definitely not in liquid assets, but in net worth he probably just barely hits 1 million. He now makes a low six-figure salary and when the economy is doing okay, he invests some of it in the stock market, mostly in low-risk stocks that are guaranteed to have payouts (I don’t know a lot about this, so that’s all I’ll say). He inherited/learned his dad’s extreme money-saving ways and saves as much as possible. He’s an engineer and very handy, so whenever possible he does home and car repairs himself to save a lot of money. I managed to get a scholarship that covered almost all of my undergrad tuition, I lived at home for half of undergrad and all of med school to save money, I worked in retail in undergrad and as an EMT in med school to pay for some of my own stuff, and they didn’t pay for any of my med school tuition, so that’s it for their educational expenses for me. My mom’s had a good, stable job for the last few years that pays in the low 80k range, I think. We live in a house worth ~250k that we now fully own thanks to my grandparents. 

A few years ago, my dad’s brother bought a crappy, tiny, nearly-condemned cabin in the woods up north for about 20k (seriously, it was shit). He and my dad put in a few hundred dollars and a TON of time and manual labor to fix it up, and now we pay half the bills on it and both of our families use it for vacations. We have a small (19ft) boat that my dad bought as a gift for my mom when she had cancer--he got it extremely cheap from a guy who’d bought it, barely used it, and just wanted rid of it. It’s a 1994 and full of problems now, but we’ve managed to keep it going (barely, at times) and my dad has taken really good care of it over the years. A friend of my dad’s got him into snowmobiling about a decade ago and once his brother bought the cabin and they fixed it up, my dad got a cheap, crappy used snowmobile, which he used for a few years before reselling it and upgrading to an actually nice, new one, because yeah, he could afford it. He’s upgraded a couple times, good for him. When I actually have the time off, I go up with him in the winter and ride one of his old ones that he kept and fixed after it had an engine problem. It doesn’t cost much to renew the trail permits each year and I borrow my uncle’s gear for riding, so other than the initial cost of the sleds, it really costs us nothing to go riding (gas is extremely negligible in snowmobiles, they can go 120+ miles on a single 8 gallon tank, and we store them ourselves at the cabin so we don’t pay for that). We store the boat in our garage at home (like I said, it’s small) so other than the permit and gas for that when we take it out, again, really no continuous expense.

My parents pay all of their taxes without trying to do any bullshit work-arounds. They don’t have a lawyer or a tax accountant or a financial advisor, my dad does it all himself. He keeps track of all of our finances himself. We don’t pay a landscaping service or a cleaning service or any of that crap, we do it all ourselves like any other middle-class family. My mom donates regularly to charities for cancer, animal rescues, and injured veterans. 

But to tumblr, incapable of seeing nuance, we’re “one-percenters (absolutely nowhere near true) who own a house and have a ‘vacation home’ and a boat and recreational vehicles” so we’re pretty much just as bad as Bezos, because anyone who isn’t actively struggling to put food on the table or in horrible medical debt because of our disaster of a system is apparently “rich” and there’s no such thing as shades of gray.

[larryfanfiction]

suspendrs @suspendrs

💚 satellite (100k)

“It’s been three years since I’ve had a proper hot meal,” Louis says finally. “I have no idea where my family is, or if any of them are even still alive. The only reason I’ve been able to keep myself alive for as long as I have is because I keep to myself, stay guarded, stay hidden. It’s the only way I know how to live,” he says.

Harry wants to cry, but he tries to put on a brave face when Louis finally meets his eyes. “You’re safe here. You don’t have to be so guarded around me,” Harry says quietly, earnestly.

“That’s very sweet of you,” Louis says, putting his fork down. “But yes I do. Especially around you.”

Or, Harry finds out that someone's been living in his house without him knowing, but instead of kicking him out, he falls in love with him.

💚 sugar in a plum (4k)

“I’m your dad,” Harry says softly, extending his hand to Plum for her to have a sniff. Plum considers for a moment, looks up at Louis, and then bites Harry’s finger.

“Ow!” Harry shrieks, pulling his hand away quickly. He’s not bleeding, but Plum’s teeth are incredibly sharp, he feels like he’s been stabbed with ten tiny needles. “Jesus, Lou, I thought we were getting a cat, not a demon.”

Or, Harry's new kitten is out to ruin his life.

💚 there are no atheists in foxholes (64k)

“Do you think we’ll ever see it again?” Harry asks after a minute. “London?”

Louis blinks, looking down. They very well could spend the rest of their lives on this island, and they’re both very aware of that. Everyone probably already thinks they’re dead, anyway. Their flats are going to be sold, and their families are going to have funerals, and life is going to go on without them. Even if they do get rescued, it’s already been days. The news of the shipwreck has definitely reached London by now. They don’t know if there’s been any effort to look for survivors, but they also don’t know how far away from the wreck they are, or how far people are going to go to look for them, or if anyone even knows that this island is here and, like, it’s very possible that they’ve already looked and stopped looking for survivors, and no one knows they’re out here-

“I don’t know,” Louis says, before he can start spiraling. “I hope so, but I don’t know.”

Or, the sea takes everything from Louis, but it gives him back more than he ever could’ve asked for.

💚 keep this love in a photograph (48k)

“I could never forget a damn thing about you, Harry Styles, not even if I wanted to,” Louis says. His hair falls into his face when he glances over at Harry, the moonlight reflecting off of it and making it glow golden, like maybe Louis himself is the sun.

Harry thinks of how dark and cold his life got once Louis went away, how Harry got a taste of the sweetest sunshine imaginable and then was plunged into the longest winter of his life. He feels like he’s been buried under mounds of snow for months, years, and he’s finally made it to spring, finally getting another taste of how wonderful life can be.

Or, it’s 1919, and Harry’s been falling in love with his best friend for his entire life.

💚 not even the gods above (25k)

The thing is, though, this isn’t good enough for Harry. Sure, he has the rest of his life to be a notable king, but he wants to be notable now. He wants to bring the two kingdoms together and he wants to do it early on, wants to be the one to facilitate the merge until it seems like the two kingdoms were one all along. He doesn’t want to wait, but everyone he’s turned to thinks waiting is the right choice, so he supposes he has to trust them.

That is, of course, until a declaration of war from the Kingdom of Tomlinson shows up at his palace.

Prompt: Both are new kings of countries that haven’t been allies for the past decade. They need to come up with a treaty which means actually spending time with another. A hate-to-love.

💚 i'll take your pain (2k)

It’s kind of romantic when Harry thinks about it, feeling all the pain of the person he’s supposed to love for the rest of his life. Sure, it’s rather inconvenient when he’s in class and his soulmate gets kicked in the balls, or when he’s sleeping and his soulmate knocks his head or his knee off something. It’d be nice if the function helped them to find each other, but Harry supposes he can live with knowing that they’re destined to run into each other someday.

Or, soulmates have the ability to feel each other's pain, and Harry finds his after getting his arse waxed. (Or, the soulmate au crack fic I can't believe I actually wrote.)

💚 the pink album (31k)

They don’t really discuss how hard it is to be in this situation, or to be doing the things they have to do to continue being together. It’s just something they don’t talk about, and that’s alright. Or maybe it isn’t, but they’ll cross that bridge when they get to it.

Or, a love seven years in the making, inspired by Harry's debut album.

💚 i'll make this feel like home (41k)

It’s nerdy, much nerdier than anything Harry would have engaged in back home. Perrie and Ed are singing some song from West Side Story and Stan is just giggling along, and it’s almost weird how weird Harry doesn’t find it. Liam and Niall would be running as fast as they could from this interaction, but somehow, Harry finds himself giggling along as well.

Maybe it’s because no one in this group seems like they should belong in this group, but Harry feels like he fits right in. He feels more himself than he has in weeks when Louis plops down beside him for a couple moments and throws out another title to add to their movie marathon. Even though he can’t contribute to the conversation about musicals and he has no idea whether The King and I or Oklahoma is more important, he never feels like an outsider.

Or, Harry is new to Plymouth and has had a rough start, but Louis won't rest until he makes it start to feel like home.

💚 dirty laundry looks good on you (19k)

“So um, Niall mentioned you haven’t lived here long. What brings you to London?”

“What is this, an interview?” Louis smirks, stealing Harry’s drink and taking a sip. “Wanted a change of scenery. Dunno.”

Harry hums and takes his drink back, narrowing his eyes playfully at Louis as he takes a long sip. “Can I buy you a drink, or would you rather keep sharing mine?”

“You most certainly can buy me a drink,” Louis grins, grabbing the bottle back out of Harry’s hand, “but I’m still going to be stealing yours.”

Or, Harry is jaded and sad and resigned to be forever alone, until Niall sets him up with a friend of his whose broken pieces may just fit pretty well with Harry's.

💚 we've got to get away from here (23k)

“It is my understanding that you are the most comprehensive member of this agency in the field of extraterrestrial life, is that right?” the agent asks. He’s trying to sound calm, but Louis can tell he’s shaken as well.

“Um, I guess so,” Louis says, glancing over at the man in the blanket again.

Suddenly, Louis’s blood runs cold. There’s something off about the man, something in his gaze, something Louis can’t put his finger on. It’s terribly unsettling, but excitement bubbles in his gut.

Or, Louis is an FBI agent who likes to think himself a paranormal expert, and Harry is the alien that somehow ended up in his office.

💚 in midnights, in cups of coffee (15k)

“Sorry about the sugar,” Louis says, backing toward his own flat. “Bundle up before you go out.”

Harry smiles so sweetly then that Louis can’t imagine he’ll even need the sugar, if the muffins aren’t sweet enough just because they were made by him. “Thanks,” he says, eyes lingering a little longer on Louis before he lets himself back into Gemma’s apartment, and then Louis is just standing in the hallway by himself.

Or, Louis is overworked and cold, Harry is stressed out, and they might be in love.

💚 autumn leaves (27k)

“Brave?” Harry frowns, caught off guard. “No, not particularly.”

“You seem brave,” Louis decides, pushing off the wall and stepping on the butt of his cigarette. “You are strong, and you are not mean. That’s good,” he assures, touching Harry’s arm gently.

“Thank you, but that’s not true,” Harry smiles ruefully. “I’m really not anything special.”

Or, Harry is an American soldier in France during World War II, and Louis is a French waiter that doesn't mean to fall in love with him.

💚 we've got unfinished business (6k)

“Maybe we have a ghost,” Harry suggests, frowning when Louis laughs. “Lots of people have them, you know.”

“Harry, ghosts aren’t real,” Louis snorts, shaking his head as he makes his way back to the kitchen. Harry pouts for a moment, until he hears Louis shriek on the other side of the door.

Or, there’s a ghost in Harry and Louis’s apartment that seemingly just wants them to date.

💚 come away with me (80k)

Louis had such big plans. He wanted so much out of life, and so did Amy. Now Bridget is going to grow up without a mother, and she’s always going to wonder what it would be like if this hadn’t happened. He wonders if she’ll blame him for her mother’s death as she gets older, or if she’ll understand that this is just as painful for Louis as it is for her. Louis doesn’t know how he’s going to raise her on his own, because he’s a fantastic father, yes, but he’s always been the fun parent, and Amy was in charge of the rules. He doesn’t know how to make sure Bridget has everything she needs all the time, doesn’t know how to make her favorite meal or how to do that one braid she loves to have in her hair or how to teach her to be the best person she can be. He doesn’t know how to live without Amy, he doesn’t know what he’s going to do.

Or, Louis has to pick up the pieces of his and his daughter's life after his wife dies, and Harry is a beautiful stranger that just wants to help.

💚 heading for a small disaster (20k)

He and Harry have never had an interaction outside of this car, and they probably never will. After all, Harry is just the guy that drives Louis to work, and Louis is just another customer. That’s all they are, really.

Or, Harry drives an Uber and Louis’s life is falling apart.

💚 maps can be poems when you're on your own (18k)

“Harry, this is Louis, the guy I was telling you about,” Liam says. “Lou, this is Harry, my roommate.”

Harry looks up and locks eyes with Louis, who is very clearly drunk. Louis just giggles in surprise and claps a hand over his own mouth, widening his eyes at Harry comically.

“Nice to meet you,” Harry croaks, watching as Louis tucks himself more firmly into Liam’s side.

Or, Harry falls in love with the guy his best friend is fooling around with.

💚 we could be enough (4k)

“I mean, what if you had a big enough crush on somebody to write into a newspaper about it and confess and you knew someone was just sitting around laughing at-”

“Harry,” Louis interrupts, smiling slightly now. “Did you write one of these?”

“No,” Harry says pointedly, rolling his eyes.

Or, Harry runs an anonymous crush confession column in the school newspaper and Louis has quite the crush to write in about.

💚 no place to call home (21k)

“What are you smiling about, Harrison,” the boy spits, body language suddenly getting defensive. “I’ll have you know that I’m-”

“Harry,” Harry interrupts, giggling. “My name is Harry. And if you’re not called Peter, then what are you called?”

The boy tilts his chin up slightly, surveying Harry like he’s checking if he’s worthy of knowing something as important as his name. “Well, Herschel, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Louis.”

Or, Louis isn't Peter Pan and Harry isn't Wendy and Neverland is nothing like Harry thought it would be, but it's perfect anyway.

💚 nobody does it like you do (58k)

“Like, I still wanna be me, and I want you to be you. I don’t want anything to change. I just wanna call you daddy sometimes,” Louis whispers.

Or, Louis isn't looking for a home, but he finds one in Harry.

💚 kiss me on the mouth and set me free (17k)

He moves on to Twitter next, where things get marginally weirder. His newsfeed is full of tweets about someone called Larry, and that apparently everyone is trying to ship him somewhere. There are a good amount of people though, mostly his hardcore gamer fans and ones with little crushes on him, that are screaming about how this Larry guy is gross.

Fifteen minutes of scrolling tells Louis that Larry Stylinson isn’t a person, but instead a combination of his and Harry’s names. The people that are claiming to ‘ship it’ are apparently rooting for them to get together, which. Okay.

Or, Louis is a gamer and Harry is a beauty guru, and VidCon is a good place to fall in love.

let us know who to feature next!

[maryellencarter]

memed from @camshaft22 , originally an askbox meme but it's short enough that i can just have opinions at all of it rather than waiting to have the free time to get out of the house and answer asks. (i still have at least a few askmeme questions sitting in my inbox from like a month or two ago... :P)

1. do you find force users or non-force users more interesting? -- non-force users by a mile. there could theoretically be exceptions, like if anybody really got deeply into alternate perceptions / interpretations of the force rather than just kind of toeing the jedi party line as established in the movies, but i haven't seen any that really grab me.

2. which character do you want to be most like? -- oh, now there's a hell of a question. both this and the next one, really. see, let's start at the beginning: when i was a very smol tortoise watching a star war, and by smol i mean like eighteen because that's when i first saw a star war... when i was a smol, i wanted to be han solo (not least because he was hot in a very conventionally masculine way, do not underestimate the importance of that to a smol afab tortoise programmed with much body-loathing ;P), but i identified a lot more with chewbacca. i mean, let's be honest, i was not in great psychological shape as a tiny, and this particular oddment is something i'm still very much sorting out, but: from tiny!jt's perspective, at least, han+chewie is a nonromantic primary relationship that gets displaced by the han/leia primary romantic relationship. but it's still (from anything you see onscreen in the ot) primary *to chewie* even after it becomes secondary to han. that kind of nonreciprocal primary relationship, tagging around after someone who would let me express that kind of devotion and not find it creepy even after they inevitably found a "real", romantic relationship that would be more important to them than me, was the best endgame i could imagine for myself, and frankly i felt like it was way too much to hope for within my own species. i may have spent rather a while wishing i was a dog or something, so that it would be acceptable and appropriate for me to want the most important relationship in my life to be nonromantic. tiny!jt was a *mess*. this was way before i got into fandom, so i didn't really work through it at all or write it down anywhere, either.

uh. that got long. continued under the next question.

3. which character are you actually most like? -- so anyway. yeah. to continue. then i found my way into legends (then still the eu but yanno) and the x-wing books. and then there was wes. ^_^ it would be several more years before i even figured out i *had* ptsd, but here was somebody who had ptsd that presented almost exactly like mine but was also stable and functional and not-depressed and in fact actually cheerful. not to mention he was *also* hot and male and most importantly human, but still showed the kind of undemanding loyalty i was aiming towards, and had it accepted.

(which last is partly because wedge is an oblivious noodle, but still. ^_^ honestly that's probably something to analyze when i'm not one-finger typing on my phone: how much of that kind of relationship being a goal for me is just me being wired kind of subby, and how much is the abuse thing where asking for any kind of emotional reciprocation is Wrong and Too Much. :P)

uh. i had a point here somewhere. um. so i wanted to grow up to be wes, but i didn't think that was an attainable goal. i felt sort of more like wedge with the duty and guilt and everything, but wedge is also way more of a leader than i am, so that's a thing. honestly there was a point there where i felt most like cheriss, just kind of... trying to grow up and dealing with a whole bunch of life shit and intermittently wanting to die a lot. ;P

and now apparently i *am* growing up to be wes and i'm still not sure what to do with that, besides writing a lot of fanfic (which is what i am doing). and trying to figure out the whole subby brain thing. and the executive dysfunction thing. and the not wanting leadership positions thing. and still working on the ptsd thing. and the self-esteem thing. there's a lot.

i'm less wedge, though. which is good. less catholic guilt is always nice.

4. what headcanon will you defend to the death? -- er. i'm not really sure i have any of those. as opposed to just canon things i will make sure people remember and acknowledge. maybe the hoth cuddle pile? you will never convince me the rogues on hoth did not sleep in a giant cuddle pile.

5. what planet would you most like to visit? -- i frankly don't know enough about star wars planets to give a shit.

6. what planet would you most like to live on? -- ditto. not taanab, for sure. mini rancors (and possibly 46-hour days if you don't just disdain that as illogical made-up numbers they threw into the planet guide for variety's sake... ;P I have opinions)

7. who do you hope you never meet? -- of the characters? pretty much any of the bad guys, but my first thought is vader.

8. what is one thing you would change about any movie, show, book, etc? -- ahahahahaaaaaaa. just one? i can't pick. can i say fix all the things about tlj that made me go "okay never watching that"? because there were at least four or five just among the spoilers that i heard. like if it had to be just one i'd make it so poe doesn't disregard chain of command, because that's the one that's making it so i can't rewatch tfa *either*, but from everything i hear, that movie was a hot mess. (alternatively, can i just change the fandom so that people stop saying "if you don't love tlj unquestioningly you're a reddit douchebro!"? because i don't want to unfollow roguepod on twitter but unless i block literally everyone *they* follow there's no way for me to keep that particular Hot Take off my dash and it's consistently re-infuriating me. :P)

uh. i have feelings, apparently. ;P

9. have you ever made fanart or fanfic? do you make edits or any other fan content? -- so much fanfic. so much. i counted last night and just the fics i haven't published yet add up to somewhere around 80k words.

10. do you think the jedi were right or wrong? -- i think the jedi were self-important douchenozzles with a habit of being wrong whenever the plot demanded it. is this a reference to something specific they were right or wrong about? i don't think they have the one true view of the force, and i think they're obnoxious about thinking they do, much like many other religions, so there's that.

11. who is the most underrated character? -- new canon, finn. or rose, possibly, not that i've seen her, because see above re hot mess. old canon, hobbie.

12. do you care who rey’s parents are? -- honestly, i'm at the point in dealing with an open canon where i cannot give fuck about any of the unanswered questions, the upcoming releases, or anything that might happen in the future at all. i haven't even read thrawn alliances. i am Over It, and that is about 99% the fault of the people who keep calling me a reddit douchebro by association. i probably won't see epIX unless kat or sophia tells me i absolutely have to. i'm a legends-only fan at this point. i didn't want to be, i like getting excited about new things, but every time i try it, people are douchewaffles and it's depressing. :P

13. if you could resurrect one dead character, or prevent them from dying, who would it be? -- new canon, hobbie. old canon, there are so damn many options, but probably mara or pellaeon.

14. what is your favorite alien species? -- i'm not sure i actually have an opinion. i have lots of favorite alien characters but like... idek. star wars has a bunch of really well designed alien species and they're all cool.

15. who would you like to bang? -- honestly i don't really care about banging any of the characters. shipping them is more fun. although i would let princess general leia step on me, whether in a sexy way or not.

16. which movie/episode have you watched the most? -- probably anh. the falcon's flying sfx aren't as good as in esb, but if you watch esb without rotj it's just a downer, and i don't really enjoy rotj. like it just doesn't click with me.

17. what is your favorite line? -- uh. from the movies, or from all the star war? uh. either way that's a hell of a question. the one i quote the most from the movies is definitely "we're all fine here, how are you?", but that's more just... versatile. from the books, my favorite is obviously one of allston's, but i'm not sure i could *pick*.

18. what is your favorite star wars book or comic? -- starfighters of adumar. because it is the best one. objectively. ^_^

19. what’s your opinion on legends/expanded universe? -- i'm extremely glad it isn't canon anymore (see also my issues with open canons, but also a significant amount of it was just trash) and extremely glad it's still around.

20. what do you hope will happen in future movies? -- i have no hope. hope is dead. i am, as previously mentioned, Over It. (let oscar isaac kiss john boyega onscreen)

21. if you could switch any character’s gender, who would it be and why? -- in canon? no. there's no point in turning a lady character into a dude, and neither the creators nor the fans are capable of handling anyone who's currently a dude being written as a lady or nb type, even if it was retroactive and they'd always been written that way. just no. it would go Badly. :P

that said. in fanfic? and i am so not capable of writing this yet but i want to. in like five years when we're all living in caves scratching our fanfics on bone. i want to see a cis afab wes janson who just hasn't internalized any of those lessons about not taking up space. who's still brash and loud and enthusiastic and flirtatious and just... female. who doesn't feel any need to explain that she doesn't (or does) want kids, or acknowledge anybody else's opinion about how she dresses or who she fucks. who's smart and badass and competent and out to have fun. and like... *pulls hair* i mean you know the trope. a sexy lady character who knows she's sexy will pretty much always at least consider sleeping her way to the top or whatever. (tim zahn, seriously, stop using that trope. it's not edgy.) i want to see lady!wes dressing up all fancy because it's fun and she enjoys having people admire her body, and like just... not even considering ever having sex for any other reason than "i am attracted to that person, i wonder if they'd like to bang". like it's hard to demonstrate a negative but you know if you read a story like that, where it wasn't called out but just there, your brain would go all fidgety and "what the fuck something is not normal here". or at least mine would. but you know? :S apparently i have a lot of feelings about this too. like trying to portray a lady who's that confident and... and undamaged by misogyny, would be a hell of a thing.

22. favorite droid? -- bb-8. the cutest smol. target has a kit to turn a pumpkin into a bb-8 and i swear i'm thinking about getting a funkin to do that to. even though i already have a bb-8 penny bank and a bb-8 lanyard in storage.

23. what’s your favorite star wars musical piece or theme? -- i'm not great at identifying pieces of music so i'm just gonna go with the opening crawl music.

24. how do you pronounce twi’lek? -- i don't. ^_^ more specifically, i do kind of pronounce it in my head when i read, but it's sort of... neither twee-lek nor twye-lek, but something sort of in between that isn't quite a schwa and might involve an umlaut. Sort of Twülek, if you said it with an Austrian accent. That probably doesn't help at all. XD

25. which character do you have a love/hate relationship with? -- This keeps being a question. I'm honestly not sure I *do* love-hate relationships. I'm like Tinkerbell, I only have room for one emotion at a time. ^_^ Especially with fictional characters, I either love them or hate them. (Unless they're completely meh and I just forget about them, that happens sometimes.)

[not-poignant]

So I got a private ask recently basically wanting to know how I got to be so ‘successful’ as a writer, and it’s had me thinking a lot about what success is (and how that’s not a static variable) and how rarely creative folks talk about their failures, if they’re not public. Like if you’re livestreaming your failures, that’s one thing, and I’m sure all of you have caught typos or other things - tiny failures that just annoy or are largely invisible or are like ‘oh u miss that.’ But otherwise we tend not to say ‘oh ha this story got rejected again’ or ‘this publisher actually hates my work.’

My metrics for success have changed as I’ve attained them, and I think I’ll make a separate post about that. To be clear, the first time at age 11 I filled an entire page with Courier text from a dodgy old printer in like 1992, I felt like a huge writerly success. Later, my metric for success was ‘the first comment I ever got on an LJ fanfic.’ Later still, my metric for success changed again. So you know. Shifting metrics. Stagnating measures for ‘success’ for me mean...well, stagnation.

But I wanted to sort of document what I perceive to be my many writing failures, because I’m so grateful for them, and because I’m only here today, considered maybe successful by some of you, because of them.

***

I wanted to go chronologically but like I know my life that well. So here’s just a sampling.

* Sent a standalone novel I was (and am still) really proud of to a local but prestigious publisher about 7 years ago. Got a form rejection letter.

* Sent another standalone novel I was (and am still) moderately proud of to a large-scale m/m publisher. Got extremely favourable feedback from the editor (i.e. of the ‘we will publish this if you make these changes we’re all rooting for you’ type), a list of minor changes to make to the story, made all the changes without complaint, and then didn’t hear back from them for 8 months, at which point they aggressively terminated interest in a fairly crushing manner. (Later discovered I was pretty fortunate to have this happen because of the...climate of that publishing house, but it was still pretty fucking crushing.)

* Have had more short stories rejected for anthologies than accepted. Usually while good friends whose stories I edited got accepted (which is its own kind of depressing lol).

* My worst university class was short-film writing. I am objectively terrible at it. While I never failed the class, it’s safe to say that I am not compatible with short format. I imagine everyone here is not at all surprised. (Weirdly though, I do well with short poems lol).

* My first published fanfiction under a different username got a lot of ‘YOU ARE WRITING A MARY SUE’ type messages. :D Back in the days where snarkily reading bad fanfiction was a thing, and writing a Mary Sue was like...sinning against the world of fanfiction.

* I genuinely thought the first fantasy story I ever wrote was a masterpiece. It was not. I was 14 when I started it. It did however give me the backbones for the characters Augus, and several others. I never finished it.

* I have had one story I’ve desperately wanted to write since I was a child. It failed in its first novel incarnation. It failed in its second novel incarnation. It failed its third graphic novel incarnation (yes, I have attempted a graphic novel! Be grateful your eyes have never had to lay upon it). It failed its ‘short story introductions to the complex world‘ incarnations (a good friend and my primary editor said: ‘too infodumpy.’) It failed its fourth novel incarnation after two years of research.

Currently awaiting a fifth attempt, lol.

* I have, without failure, failed a ‘write every day’ challenge if it’s lasted longer than about three weeks.

* I failed my first two NaNoWriMos.

* Wrote a whole lot of poetry I really adored for a very high level seminar with a poet I respected and admired and desperately wanted them to like my work lol and my first bout of feedback was: ‘80% of this is boring and unreadable. Trash it.’ (The rest was very nice, but given it set me back about 2 months in my development of the project, it hit...rather hard). This poet also gave me one of the most crushing but valuable pieces of advice I’ve ever gotten: ‘You’re not as good as you think you are.’

(Later, on a poem I didn’t like, they left a flippant remark: ‘this is better than you think it is. 10/10′)

* Wrote a YA novel about animal shifters, got about 100k through when I realised it was boring and unreadable. Shelved it.

* Wrote an adult paranormal erotica novel about vampires and shifters (oh how original) and got about 80k through it before I realised it was boring and profoundly inconsistent in tone (a problem I still have, but care less about). Shelved it.

* My ‘shelved novels’ folder has thirty different projects in it. This is not bunnies. This is not ‘ideas. This is ‘novels I’ve researched, written over 20k for and given up on.’ Amount of novels published? Currently zero. Currently a total failure of a novel writer, even if I think of myself as a novelist. More accurately, I am a patreon-supported serial fiction writer. Except the Patreon has been shut down for two years. (Hi, fear of success, thanks for making me think I don’t deserve any income for anything ever).

* My ‘shelved short stories’ folder has over eighty different projects in it. Given I’ve only ever published 4-5 short stories, and had more rejected, this is a terrible ‘failure to success’ rate.

* Don’t get me started on shelved poems, shelved scripts, etc.

***

There were times when varying things in this list made me want to give up writing or actually - temporarily - give up writing. There were times when different things in this list made me convinced I was the Worst Writer Ever, and when I look at The Ice Plague and measure my fears and insecurities against it, I know it’s not without considering that I have failed in the past. Huge projects. HUGE. Statistically, one day I’m going to write a serial and have to stop and go ‘you know what, it’s just not working.’ I have measured my self-worth and my validity and worthiness as a human being against my writing (and art) and then used those failures as tools to destroy myself.

And yet, after those periods of destruction, I have become grateful for the failures. (I’m not even including my art failures here, which is also a lengthy process of having my portfolio rejected for gallery submission repeatedly). Some of them have shaped me or pushed me in a direction that’s more fulfilling. Sometimes I’ve learned to ignore certain types of failure. No shame in shelving a book, I’ll just write a new one, and in that sense, I also can consider myself successful at getting words on a page.

Some things still hurt to think about. And I’m not going to say that I’m really resilient or whatever, because it was failing repeatedly in art that had me quit as a professional artist. Temporarily anyway. At least for 6 years lol.

I suppose the point is that everyone fails. Usually in a more grand way than you’re actually seeing on the surface. Yes, I have hit many success metrics over the years - from writing that first page as a child (that felt as good as winning a short story competition, better even) - but I’ve hit a lot of failure metrics too. More than I’ve listed here.

I kind of like that I have hit so many. It helps me consider whether the audience that hears me is the one that will be the most nourishing. Whether my words are reaching the right people. Whether this journey is towards the polestar, or if I lost my way again, distracted by shiny things as I so often am.

[rageprufrock]

Preview: Something Borrowed [Haikyuu! Iwaizumi/Oikawa]

So I’m bored and I thought I’d inflict my WIP on all of you because why not. This is not, I repeat, not going to be 80K. 

Iwaizumi Hajime was born just a month before Tooru, sudden screaming arrivals next door to each other in their cluttered little residential street. For their families, it had made sense to pool childcare, and so since they were the littlest of babies, they've been tucked into cradles and playpens together, fallen asleep with their tiny hands clutched together. "So sweet," Iwa-chan's mother used to say, and Tooru's mom used to tease, "Maybe one day Hajime-kun will have Tooru for his bride." Growing up Tooru used to hear this teasing all the time, but it made perfect sense to him: of course one day when Iwa-chan was older, and Tooru was older, they would put on nice kimonos and get married so that they'd never be apart again, and their parents couldn't separate them just because it was getting dark and it was time for dinner.

***

Iwa-chan's campus and Tokyo Medical University Hospital are both in Shinjuku, so when they'd gone apartment-hunting in the city Iwa-chan had said, "Don't make the commute too awful for me, Shittykawa," and disappeared back into his books. If Tooru had left it to Iwa-chan, they'd probably have ended up in some terrible spot halfway between Shinjuku and Koto, where FC Tokyo practices, and they'd both be miserable.

It's much better this way, with their cute little third-floor walk-up in Takadanobaba on a quiet residential street. There's a row of bicycles out front, and it's a six-minute walk to the station, just a few hops way from Iwa-chan's campus, and a 40 minute ride to Tooru's gym. There's a balcony for their laundry — because Iwa-chan's an old man, and thinks all their clothing smells weird unless it's dried in fresh air — and plenty of sun in for the little greenhouse Tooru's cultivating in the tatami room: a droopy English ivy and a voluble philodendron, a jade plant with chubby fingers and a wispy spider plant, the green cloud of an asparagus fern. Tooru never thought he'd picked up his Okaa-chan's green thumb, but he loves the sight of them: bright green and thriving.

Sunday mornings are Tooru's favorite: he doesn't have practice, and Iwa-chan takes the morning off from studying. They go to the grocery stores early, and after they get home Iwa-chan cooks lunch and Tooru fusses over their little garden, and they have just enough time to watch a dumb movie and fall asleep under the kotastu before the alarm goes off telling Iwa-chan to go meet his study group at the library.

It's not the easy everyday togetherness of their childhood, but it's not the awful loneliness of Tooru's first year in Tokyo, either, when he'd been on the development team and Iwa-chan had been back in Sendai taking a ronin year to study for his entrance exams. Tooru had lived in a dismal little studio apartment with a leaking sink and lied about eating combini food all the time, and he used to cry on the walk home from the gym because he missed his house and his mom and his Iwa-chan so badly.

"Oi, Trash-kawa, you're probably scaring the locals," Iwa-chan used to yell at him over the phone, but his voice had sounded as awful and tired as Tooru felt.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he had lied, and scrubbed at his face with the cuffs of his team jacket on the street, at the Family Mart, walking into his shabby little building with its dark and dusty hallways. "Oikawa-san is as sparkling as ever."

The day Iwa-chan had texted, Tokyo Medical, and followed up with, do you wanna be roommates or are you attached to that shithole I had to drive you back to last month? Tooru had screamed in dizzying, embarrassing joy at the combini checkout line and been forced to abandon all his purchases to run out — immediately — into the night and call Iwa-chan to scream in dizzying, embarrassing joy right in his ear.

And even though the days are still tough and the nights are still long, Tooru gets to come home to the sound of the TV chattering on low, Iwa-chan moving around their apartment, the green bobbing leaves of their plants.

***

Sometimes Tooru forgets how strange it must be, on the outside looking on them.

Even now, it's still rare to see an alpha and an omega living together without wedding rings and family registries getting involved, and Iwa-chan gets a lot of dirty looks from old biddies in the neighborhood when they realize that nice young married couple in the building next door isn't married at all. (Another reason it was lucky Tooru had done the apartment hunting: there was no way Iwa-chan would have been brazen enough to ignore the landlady's poorly concealed disapproval when she'd seen the application papers for her new tenants.) People must think, "oh, those young people, where are their morals? living in sin before marriage?" and, "how irresponsible, they'll just get carried away during a heat or a rut, and have to make it official anyway — why delay?"

But the truth isn't anything like that at all: they sleep in separate rooms, and they've only ever kissed once. They were 8, and Tooru had a meltdown because he'd seen a cute omega girl from the other side of the neighborhood hold Iwa-chan's hand for almost 15 seconds before Iwa-chan had pulled away. Even now, a full two decades later, Tooru can remember his panicked fury, the way he'd felt his tiny heart going nuclear in his chest until Iwa-chan had said, "Ugh," and kissed him, rough and impatient and with a loud smack, right on the lips. He'd demanded, "Are you happy now?" but he'd been blushing as he'd said it, and Tooru had been so shocked he'd gone mute, been quiet all afternoon, holding Iwa-chan's hand and feeling unaccountably shy, trailing him home.

Tooru remembers overhearing one of his mother's friends laughing, "Gosh, Tooru-kun and Hajime-kun are just a foregone conclusion, aren't they?" and his mother answering:

"A little, but it's so sweet — and it's good to know someone will be taking care of him."

For years, Tooru had clutched that close to the heart, waiting for the foregone conclusion to arrive. But his first heat came and went — leaving behind all kinds of horrible new rules: no more sleepovers, no visiting during his time of the month — and then high school came and went, and there were no conclusions to be had. And after a while even Tooru had to admit that maybe everybody had been wrong; he tried not to think about it too much because it hurt the way his knee does: a chronic ache, something they can't fix, that he's learned to cope with since there aren't any other options.

But sometimes, when he's out and about, someone they know only a little will say, "How's your husband doing?" and Tooru will flash them his biggest, brightest smile and say, "Still busy — first-year interns, you know!"

It's sort of pathetic and exactly the kind of underhanded thing Iwa-chan would give him grief over, but that's why it's staying Tooru's secret, and not Iwa-chan's business at all.

***

Anyway, the point is they were fine, just fine, until Iwa-chan's dad got involved.

***

Tooru doesn't like it, but Iwa-chan's family likes to call during Sunday morning grocery runs. He knows it's mean, because obviously Auntie Iwaizumi misses her son, too, but honestly Oikawa has Iwa-chan all to himself for maybe 12 waking hours a week. But sometimes, it's nice, too, hearing Iwa-chan's side of the conversation as they buy cabbage and carrots, pick through the shitake mushrooms and try to remember if there's any red miso left.

"Ah," Iwa-chan says, when they're buying negi.

"No," Iwa-chan says, when they're looking at all the fruit, so expensive it makes Tooru's toes curl, even though the strawberries look amazing: dark red like rubies and gleaming.

"It's fine," Iwa-chan says, and it takes Tooru a minute to realize it's directed at him, and then Iwa-chan's grabbing a box of strawberries and putting it in their basket, even though it's going to cost an arm and a leg. "Ah — nothing. Just Oikawa was looking at fruit — no, we're fine. Kaa-san, we have enough money."

Tooru leans over Iwa-chan's shoulder so he can sing-song, "Don't worry, Auntie! I'm a very reliable breadwinner!"

Iwa-chan puts a hand in Tooru's face in shoves him away — rude, and says, "Ah? Otou-san? What is it?"

Tooru touches Iwa-chan on the hip, points down the aisle, and Iwa-chan nods before turning back to the phone call, mumbling, "Um — I think so, why?" Tooru goes to buy milk bread and Iwa-chan's awful dried fish strips, in the orange plastic bag, more dish detergent, and Iwa-chan's drying, horrible bar soap he likes. He buys more houjicha, a new thermos to replace the one that's been leaking all over Iwa-chan's books for a week, and he elbows past a bunch of neighborhood homemakers to grab two dozen vitamin jelly packs on buy two get two free sale. By the time he meets Iwa-chan in the dairy aisle, his arms are full, and normally this would be when Iwa-chan would sigh and say, "You always get too much stuff in one trip," except today he's just holding a carton of milk staring like an idiot into the refrigeration case, slack-jawed.

"But —Otou-san," Iwa-chan is saying, and Tooru stops at the end of the aisle, worried.

In Iwa-chan's second year of medical school Uncle Iwaizumi had gone to the hospital with chest pains. It had turned out all right, but he still remembers getting that awful phone call at 2 a.m. from Auntie because Iwa-chan was so tired he'd slept through six calls from home, having to wake him — the awful drive back to Miyagi, the dingy yellow tiles of the hospital hallway. He'd missed practice for two days, running errands and helping his Okaa-chan cook. Iwa-chan doesn't cry — he always says that's Tooru's job because he's awful like that — but he'd cried that first night in the hospital: from relief that it was just a small heart attack, from worry, and Tooru remembers sitting hand in hand with Iwa-chan in the hospital hallway, pretending not to see anything.

"I just — ! It's completely — ! Fine," Iwa-chan snarls and hangs up the phone, and Tooru snaps into action when he sees the way Iwa-chan's gorilla-fist is squeezing the carton in a way that means imminent milk explosion on aisle seven.

"Iwa-chan," Tooru hisses, dumping his armful into their shopping basket and peeling Iwa-chan's fingers off of the milk. "Let go!"

The milk actually has cartoonish finger wrinkles on it, and Tooru puts it in their cart because there's brazen and then there's being rude to people who aren't Iwa-chan, and starts steering them out of the grocery store.

"Well?" he asks, once they're in line to and pay and the vein in Iwa-chan's forehead looks less like it's going to explode. "What was that about? Is Uncle okay?"

The vein throbs again. "He's fine," Iwa-chan growls, and mumbles, "Sorry," to the poor checkout boy — a tiny omega probably no older than 18 — who'd visibly flinched.

"Ignore him, he's just cranky," Tooru sweeps in to say, flashing the kid a million-watt grin and nudging Iwa-chan out of the way. Iwa-chan had had one last growth spurt at the very end of high school, and closed the height difference between them, which was firstly infuriating for Tooru, and secondly problematic for the poor people who had to interact with Iwa-chan regularly, since now he was even taller, built like a brick house, and had the kind of face that left you instantly afraid you were going to get your ass kicked. One day, he was going to be a terrifying doctor.

They manage to make it out of the grocery store, their breath clouding and a shiver stealing through him, and Tooru trots up next to Iwa-chan, their arms pressed together. Tooru can feel how tense Iwa-chan's muscles are, through his jacket, the hunch of his shoulders, and he wonders what Uncle said, if Auntie's okay. If Iwa-chan says Tooru talks too much, then Tooru thinks it's fair to say that Iwa-chan talks too little: everything he thinks and feels compressed into some angry fist in his throat — and then it's Tooru's job to dig and dig and dig until he figures it out so he can fix it.

"So Uncle is okay," Tooru says, waving at a little alpha girl who lives nearby: she has two long braids and a transparently adorable crush on Tooru, based on the blushing. "Is Auntie okay?"

"Leave it alone, Shittykawa," Iwa-chan grunts, hangs a left down their little street.

Tooru shakes his head. "No, nope," he declares. "It would be irresponsible — you almost went Incredible Hulk on our grocery store dairy aisle."

"Fine," Iwa-chan mutters. "They're both dead. They called me from beyond the grave."

"You're awful," Tooru says, stomping his foot, leaning against Iwa-chan's shoulder hard as he checks the mailbox: bills, magazines, a letter from the bank. He presses his forehead into the familiar broadness of Iwa-chan's back and says, quiet, "I care about them, too, you know."

Iwa-chan freezes for a beat at the mailbox, his entire body tensed, and it's a long time before he lets out a sigh — exhausted, and says, "Yeah — come on. Let's go inside first."

***

Iwa-chan's never just been Tooru's childhood friend; it's easier to explain it that way, but it's never been completely honest. They were always too close; they didn't split off for their own interests, their own more-appropriate friends as they grew older. They had clung, stubbornly and against all odds, to one another through three different schools and multiple decades.

"Don't you ever wonder if there's someone you're missing out on?" Tooru's sister used to ask him, when she'd bring Takeru home and their parents were off spoiling their first grandchild.

"No," Tooru had told her, unshakeable then and unshakeable now with certainty. "There's no one better in this world than Iwa-chan."

She'd flushed, despairing, embarrassed for him, and said, "I can't believe you two."

"I believe us," Tooru had said, stubborn, and he meant it then as he means it now.

Maybe he's being an idiot; maybe the whispers in high school had been right. Tooru's not immune to doubt. But somewhere deep, he doesn't think he's wrong — to believe, to wait, to trust that Iwa-chan understands.

***

Except evidently Iwa-chan did not understand.

"God, don't cry," Iwa-chan groans.

"I'm not crying!" Tooru cries, dragging the cuffs of his hoodie — of Iwa-chan's hoodie up to scrub at his face.

"It's just coffee," Iwa-chan says, and to be fair he looks almost as upset about it as Tooru feels, which solves exactly zero problems and makes Tooru feel no better at all. Iwa-chan sighs and reaches over, saying, "Come on, Oikawa — "

"No!" Tooru yells, twisting away because if Iwa-chan gets one of his massive, heavy paws on him Tooru knows he's weak and pathetic and will just let himself get dragged into Iwa-chan's annoyingly chiseled chest and be petted into consolation. "No way! Don't you dare, you — you — you person who goes on omiais."

It's genuinely upsetting that Tooru is 184 cm and a professional athlete and Iwa-chan studies 25 hours a day, and somehow is still strong enough to grab Tooru by the elbow and haul him close, across the length of the sofa until Tooru's pressed up against — he knew it! — Iwa-chan's chest.

"God damn it, Shittykawa," Iwa-chan snaps, angry and embarrassed and a little upset the way he always gets a little upset when he makes Tooru cry. "It's not an omiai."

Tooru's not strong enough to break the grip of Iwa-chan's gorilla hands, so he doesn't bother trying, just pushes to keep as much space between them as possible because his stupid lizard brain has been trained since birth to roll over at the smell of Iwa-chan's skin, and right now, he wants to be angry.

"You're going out with some slutty, stupid, husband-hunting omega — "

"If anybody said that about you I'd punch them," Iwa-chan cuts in.

" — extra slutty, extra stupid, extra husband-hunting omega," Tooru says, getting shriller with every syllable, "and you are going to wear a suit, and it's the suit I made you buy and you are absolutely the worst and — "

"It's just coffee," Iwa-chan yells. "And I'm only going because Otou-san's boss asked, okay? It doesn't mean anything!"

Tooru had spent days picking out the single tie he has managed to compel Iwa-chan into owning; he cannot believe someone else is going to reap the fruits of his tender labor. He can't believe Uncle Iwaizumi would betray him this way, after how when they were 12 Uncle Iwaizumi said, "Tooru-kun, you'll have to be patient with our Hajime, he's not very affectionate," and Tooru had said, "Don't worry, I'll wear him down." The traitor.

"What do you mean it means nothing?" Tooru says, and he's crying again, Iwa-chan's angry face going blurry and his contacts feeling weird in his eyes. "This skank — "

"Oh my God," Iwa-chan sighs.

" — probably saw that picture of you Makki took without your shirt on and decided she was going to become some hunky doctor's wife," Tooru wails, and he is completely aware of how crazy he sounds and how ridiculous this is but he's so upset because this is Sunday, and Sunday's are supposed to be nice, and instead this Sunday is the worst. This Sunday will leave a psychic scar on all other Sundays, because probably Iwa-chan will meet this shitty omega girl and decide, "this is fine," and marry her after spending 25 years scent-bonded to Tooru and what if Tooru gets suicidally drunk at their wedding and sleeps with Ushijima.

Iwa-chan sighs again, like he's the one hard done by here, unbelievable, and tugs and tugs at Tooru until he gives in, until Tooru is pressing his face into Iwa-chan's collarbone and fisting his hands into Iwa-chan's shirt. Iwa-chan smells like clean, dark earth on a summer night, a little bit like the ocean, the green bass notes of grass — like something that belongs to Tooru.

"It really is just coffee," Iwa-chan says, gruff and low and into Tooru's hair, running a hand down his back. "And Otou-san already knows that — he knows, okay? He only asked me to go because his boss asked for a favor. Nothing's going to happen, okay?"

Tooru squeezes his eyes shut, curls in more closely to the reassuring, familiar shape of Iwa-chan's body. "I hope she's ugly."

"Such an asshole," Iwa-chan mutters.

"I hope you hate every second of it," Tooru goes on. He sounds muffled and nasal from crying and he means it, every word. "I hope it ruins coffee for you forever."

They spend the rest of the afternoon on the couch watching endless episodes of Unsolved Mysteries. Iwa-chan falls asleep an hour in, and Tooru lets himself press an ear to his chest, listen to the steady, reassuring thud of Iwa-chan's heartbeat, fist his hand in Iwa-chan's shirt.

You're mine, Tooru thinks, his eyes hot and his throat aching and something wild and instinctive sharpening its claws in his belly. I'm not giving you up to anybody.

***

[winrepl0l1l0]

8 Tiny Houses You Can Buy For Under $30,000

Here's the thing about tiny houses that doesn't get talked about much: They can actually be really expensive. A brand-new, completely finished tiny house can set you back somewhere around $80K, almost as much (in some places) as a much larger, more traditional home. A much more budget-friendly option is to build one yourself—but if the idea of building an entire house from scratch is a little intimidating to you, there is another way. Many manufacturers of tiny homes offer kits or partly finished shells, which take a lot of the work out of building your tiny home, while still saving quite a bit of money. Here are eight you can buy for under $30,000.

READ MORE »

[jovialsoulinfluencer]

8 Tiny Houses You Can Buy For Under $30,000

Here's the thing about tiny houses that doesn't get talked about much: They can actually be really expensive. A brand-new, completely finished tiny house can set you back somewhere around $80K, almost as much (in some places) as a much larger, more traditional home. A much more budget-friendly option is to build one yourself—but if the idea of building an entire house from scratch is a little intimidating to you, there is another way. Many manufacturers of tiny homes offer kits or partly finished shells, which take a lot of the work out of building your tiny home, while still saving quite a bit of money. Here are eight you can buy for under $30,000.

READ MORE »

from https://www.apartmenttherapy.com/cheap-tiny-houses-263373 from waaaay over here ---> 8 Tiny Houses You Can Buy For Under $30,000

[iannoyinglysweetstudent-blog]

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I am currently due to renew my car insurance, I am 23, and have been driving for 2 years. I have been looking on some comparison sites, however I know some companies are not on the sites and could be cheaper - any tips based on experience? thanks""

Should I put my car insurance under my name or my dad's name?

I'm 22 years old male, clean driving record, my dad just give me his 97 Lexus ES300, and we own the car together, so both his and my name are on the car registration. The ...show more""

Cheap car insurance in north london?!?

Hi. any advice on cheap car insurance living in north London for a 18 year old female. I am getting ridiculous quotes. Any advise appreciated Thank you.

I need to start saving up for a car..how much will it cost me?

I'm 16 and just got my drivers license a few months ago. I need a car, so that I can get a regular job instead of babysitting. My budget is $1000-1500. I would drive about 40 miles a day. Some of the ads that I'm showing you let you make monthly payments, which is great. Are they nice enough cars? Which one would be the better buy? How much will insurance cost me? How long will one of these cars last me? 1997 Saturn 1997 Saturn 4dr auto, AC, 4cyl, very clean, solid, 120, 116 miles, runs great, asking $1500, can finance w/$400 down and $150/mo 1995 Toyota 1995 Toyota Tercel, blue 2dr auto, 4 cyl, runs & looks great (rust on rocker, I have the panel), 206K, doesn't need any mechanics, great on gas 34-37 mpg, asking $1400 obo, can finance with $400 down @$100/mo. 1995 Nissan 1995 Nissan Altima 4 dr auto silver 117K, new brakes and rotors. Asking $1400, can finance with $500 down. $225 a month. 1993 Toyota 1993 Toyota Corolla 4cyl 5spd, silver, 212,171 miles, needs nothing, runs great $1400, can finance for $600.""

What is considered a qualifying event for health insurance coverage?

If I waived health insurance through work because I already have a policy and then during the year I involuntarily lose my health insurance is that considered a qualifying event to obtain coverage right away through my job's insurance company and not having to wait for open enrollment?

A teenager with no health insurance...?

I'm 17 and from California and have NO health insurance... My mom no longer has custody of me and I'm living with my father who has no job and no way of getting me health insurance. To be quite honest, my dad is a drug addict and lays around the house all day, so to sum it up... he's no help at all. I usedd to have mediCal with my mom but since I no longer reside with her, im not longer under that anymore. I'm really really scared... I think I may have strep throat and I have NO idea what to do... since I have no insurance. Can anyone help me? Thanks.""

Your insurance or the other persons insurance?

if you get into a car accident and the other person is at fault....whos insurance would you go through?

Is it your own fault if you are in the USA and have no health insurance?

I am in the UK, and the impression I get is that many people in the USA blame the 46 million or so people in the USA who have no insurance for not having any. Is it your own fault if you have no health insurance?""

Would insurance be extra expensive on X-Police Car (Impala)?

I am 16 and want a car, I love x-police cars. But me and my family dont know what the insurance would be like on a x-police car. Do any of you have a guess? Thanks!""

What is a good health insurance plan for two snowbirds that travel between NY and FL?

Hello. I am 67 and my wife is 61. We are going to begin living between New York and Florida now, half of the year in Florida and half in New York. What kind of health insurance is popular for our situation? What is the most affordable plan? We want to be insured throughout the entire year in both FL and NY. I am 67 and my wife is 61. Thank you.""

Insurance.. Buy out a car or pay monthly payments?

I know it depends on the cars but say I bought out a car for 6-8k or I payed monthly payments for a 13k car, put 2k down. How much more would it cost for insurance instead of buying out a car?""

What is the cheapest car to insure for your first car?

im going to be hopefully doing my driving test in mayish and im just wondering what would be the the cheapest car to insure, im looking for something a little decent but i just need a few ideas of whats avaliable with these:- - 5 door car - Hatchback - Buying used car price- under 1,000 - Cheap insurance, maintenance and tax - Power Steering - Automatic taa for any help/advice""

term life insurance calculator quote

term life insurance calculator quote

""I got into a tiny accident today. I am 19, about how much do yo think insurance premium is going to go up?""

There are 2 other 45yr old drivers on the insurance already, I wan't added to it yet. About the damages. I have a 9 in diameter dent in the car above the front bumper. The person's car I hit had 5 to 2 minor scratches on her back bumper. She called the police, who will probably automatically put it through insurance.""

Why do men have higher insurance rates than women?

Why do men have higher insurance rates than women?

Health Insurance (Prescription insurance denied) Why?

Bad title for this question I know. I have never really had to go to the doctor for anything, ANYTHING. Recently I went to go see one because my energy level has been horrible, and I am always fatigued. After seeing the doctor, and getting lab work done, I had spent almost a $1000 dollars. But still, I'm okay with that, if its like one visit every six months or so, so what. Anyways, they found my Testosterone levels to be really really low. So they put me on a medication called androgel. Let me tell you, I can only get 15 days worth of this medication at a time, but every time I go to Walgreens to get a refill, I spend hundreds. Tonight when I picked it up it cost me $268.41. I called everywhere to see about health insurance, even though I only need help with prescriptions. I dont know what to do. I dont need all out full fledge health insurance. But apparently if I tried to get it anyway, I would be denied due to a pre-existing condition ((WTF))!! Apparently the only people who can qualify for health insurance are those who dont need it to begin with. And those who need it are denied because of a pre-existing condition. They are no programs that help with prescriptions that I know of, that dont require tons and tons of paperwork, audits, background investigations, and appointment after appointment. I am really upset and am lost with regard to getting the medication my doctor says I need, reduced in price. I cant afford almost $600 a month. But if even if I try to get health care, i will be denied. Could someone please help me out : ) Thanks for checking out my question I dont have health insurance because I never needed it. Plus I have always been responsible with my money""

""50cc bike insurance, need help!?

Well i need to get a bike to get around more.. and its like a 2000 reg bike that i found which is in pretty good condition.. and i've got my provisional etc.. and my CBT but the insurance still comes out as 560!? is there anyway of getting it lower?!

Which Insurance Company?

I am a 20 year old male and i'm looking for insurance for my car. The prices range from 1000-3000. I know it depends on Claims, how long you've been driving, your age etc etc but just wondering does anyone have any suggestions about which insurance companies are quite cheap for people around my age?""

What is the cheapest form of auto insurance?

What is the cheapest form of auto insurance?

Do I need collision motorcycle insurance coverage on an old motorcycle?

Im looking to insure a 1997 Kawasaki Ninja 250 which was bought for $1,500 with Progressive. I would be using the bike to commute to campus and to work/internship. I was wondering how important each category is and how much coverage is recommended. -bodily/property damage -uninsured/underinsured bodily -medical payments -comprehensive -collision -uninsured property damage Also, is collision worth getting since I would probably go for a 1,000 deductable if I did get it since collision coverage is expensive. Keep in mind that I go to college in a small rural town which is pretty bike friendly.""

What are some cheap auto insurance companies in Phoenix Arizona?

I have an older car it's a 89 Ford Crown Victoria and I do have 10 points with my current insurance company (Progressive).

How much do you or did you pay for sr-22 insurance?

How much do you or did you pay for sr-22 insurance?

Will my insurance go up when someone hits me?

I was driving on the highway, suddenly traffic slows down and we were driving at regular speed (65). i check my side mirror's, and the next thing i know my brand new car has no bumper. some idiot did not pay attention and he hit me. total repair is $1538. now, will his insurance call my insurance and let them know about it? will my insurance rates rise even though its not my fault?""

Where can I get non-owners insurance in New Jersey?

I dont own a car, but I rent about once a week, and would rather not have to take out liability insurance each time.""

Do you have health insurance?

if so, how much is it per month?? How old are you?? what kind of deducatble do you have?? feel free to answer also if you do not have insurance and how you might pay any medical costs.""

""Someone reversed into my car, is it better to go through maaco instead of insurance? its jus ta minor scratch?""

i was at a stop sign and i was abou tthe 4th car, well the 3rd car decided to reverse to leave and backed up and hit the front of my car. its not really that bad but its still a big scratch. is it best to just have her pay my estimate at maaco? or deal with insurance? i don't want to get jacked up insurance rates because someone doesn't know how to reverse.""

How much does a Yamaha YZF R125 cost? And how much is insurance/tax per year?

Cheers :)

Where's the best and the cheapest insurance for a moped?

Where's the best and the cheapest insurance for a moped?

Where is the best place for cheap car insurance for my 17 year old son?

Help!! My son has passed his driving test aged 17 but the insurance we've been looking at astronomical!! Can anyone advise me on any good deals :)

Affordable kids health insurance in Florida?

I recently got a new job, and my income combined with my husbands will be *just* over 200% of the Federal Poverty Level, making us ineligible for the $20/month payment for Medikids. It would cost $160 for each of our 2 children to continue this full coverage/no co-pay insurance. We cannot afford this. What are some other options? We definitely cannot afford insurance for the whole family.""

What's a good job with good health insurance not needing a degree or experience?

I'm a college student looking to find a good job that has affordable health insurance all on which i can find an affordable place to live. Most factory's that have these benefits start with a low pay rate that doesn't seem worth it (after gas is taken out). Any ideas?

What does this quote about Health Insurance mean?

(The Headline - 2 Calif. health insurers to pay $13M for dropping clients ) This fine sends the message that if you come into California to sell health insurance, YOU MUST PLAY BY THE RULES, said Cindy Ehnes, the director of the state's Department of Managed Health Care. [caps mine] http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2008-07-18-insurance-settlements_N.htm""

Car insurance for a G37?

I am under my parents car insurance, i havent been in an accident and have no point on my record. I also have all a's and b's. I currently have AAA and have been driving for 2.5 years. Is a G37 considered a sports car under AAA? if it is considered a sports car, how much would my insurance increase? (right now i have a honda accord 2004)""

What is good health insurance for me?

I'm 31, non smoker and in very good health. The only thing I worry about is paying a ton for an emergency visit or doctors visit. catastrophic insurance doesn't cover that stuff, does it? Is there an insurance policy that will cover both major hospital bills and the emergency room/doctor?""

How will it affect my insurance?

My daughter Ashlynn has just turned 16, and shes begging me to allow her to get her a learners permit. I'm all for it, but i want to know how it will affect my insurance. I heard that a teen with a learners permit doesn't have any affect and in some cases you don't even have to notify the insurance company. If it helps, i have Esurance. Also i live in southern California. If anyone has any information it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks -Lauren.""

I got approved for the car loan but the insurance is more than the car note?

i am so mad. okay i got approved for an 05 pontiac grand am se. that barrier has been brought down. now im stuck with this insurance deal. since i am so new, its hard for me to get a good insurance quote. most places want 600-800 down and i dont have that kind of money. my car note would be around 330 but the insurance is mor3 than the car note. what am i to do? im checking progressive and they quote me at 161 monthy/1000 for 6 months. i cannot pay 360 a month for car insurance. im so sick right now...""

What would insurance roughly cost for a 17 year old as a second driver to some one who has no tickets/fines?

im looking to buy a 1994 nissan skyline gts-t for my 1st car and am wondering roughly it would cost im also looking a 1992 dodge stealth

How long does a insurance company give you to renew your car insurance?

i live in walsall and i am on a holdiday in skegness. My car insurance is up the day before my holiday finishes. but unfortunately my wallet got stolen from an arcade yesterday so i have no credit cards to renew it online could u help please ?

term life insurance calculator quote

term life insurance calculator quote

Which one is the best health insurance company in USA?

hello All; i am from California; I want a cheap and affordable health insurance for my family. please help me which is the best and low cost health insurance company in USA? Thanks

Why can't Obama's affordable health act function without coercing people to pay a fine or buy insurance?

Why can't Obama's affordable health act function without coercing people to pay a fine or buy insurance?

""What is the cheapest, full-coverage auto insurance in Pennsylvania for an age 54 female?""

What is the cheapest, full-coverage auto insurance in Pennsylvania for an age 54 female?""

Car Insurance and clueless teenagers?

Considering the kind of questions we are getting by 16 year olds regarding car insurance we could safely assume that they aren't ready to drive at all! Maybe raise the minimum age to 18? Might even save a few lives!

What should I be looking for in coverage with car insurance?

I'm 22, just graduated from college and am just about to get my car put in my name and on my own insurance (was paying my parents for car insurance in my dads name before). I am curious on what exactly I should be looking for as far as deductibles and liabilities go to get a cheaper-ish rate, but yet still decent coverage? I was paying $70 a month on my parents insurance, I know I won't get that good of rate, but am wondering what decent coverage would be for a decently priced monthly rate...I was told to get a $500 deductible for collision? My car is a 1997 Honda Accord, great condition, around 130,000 miles, and I got one ticket in 2007. Any advice would be helpful! Thanks!""

How long do you have in maryland to add a new auto to your insurance?

I'm being told that it's 14 days, when I thought maryland state law says 30 days?""

How much is normal insurance coverage for a ATV?

I just found out my parents had this amount of coverage on their ATV. 100/300/50 both comprehensive and collision with a $100 deductible anyone else think they have too much? That is the same as my car except with a higher deductible.

How much would it cost to insure my scooter?

I'm looking for a fairly inexpensive way to get around So I found a 49 cc Honda Ruckus moped/scooter that I'm looking to buy and insure (because of mandatory insurance laws in Florida) How much would it cost to insure it if I'm looking for the lowest available plan for be in the confides of Florida law. I keep it inside my house at night. and BOTH if I HAVE HAD a learners permit for a year and DON'T and just got a license I'm 18 and want to see if the savings will be worth waiting a year to drive the thing.

Better insurance rates.?

I know there are couple factors like age, gender, and past record that fit in to determining your insurance rate, but i wanna know which gets a better rate? A new sport bike or used old sport bike?""

Can someone else pay for my life insurance?

Can I take a policy out myself, have another person pay for it, and the person paying for it is also the beneficiary?""

1 Day Car Insurance?

I live in the UK and im trying to find 1 day car insurance but im only 20 any ideas please help!!!

Affordable health insurance in florida?

im 17, will be 18 in november, and i need to find health insurance. i need it to cover dental (orthodontics), prescriptions, and mental health services (depression, bipolar disorder). i am a non smoker, and i have no kids. please help!!!""

How will the insurances work out with 95 car accidents at one scene?

Just wonder because of news yesterday at California highway. I don't know about law in that state but what if it's like this in new york where I live. Ya know whoever fault will pay by their own insurance for repairs and injury for victims and a vehciles. Same for most state. How would 95 different insurance handle it? It might will have several lawsuits. With 95 cars, hard to say who started the accident and whatever if it's one person cause 95 altogther or all 95 is fault on it own. Some may not even have insurance. There would be 95 different drivers so it will be 95 different verison or story of what happening.""

Is it legal for a car insurance company to do this?

I was in a no-fault wreck on Christmas Eve(slid into two cars on ice). The damages were about $3500 to my car. A buff job for the first car, and a chrome polish on the bumper of the old truck. They are not worried about making an insurance claim. There are not enough damages. First off, my car is fully insured with Progressive on my mother-in-laws insurance. The car is in mine and my spouse's name. I am not on the insurance because it was not allowing my mother-in-law to add me. It kept giving her an error. She was however able to add my spouse. I received a call on Saturday from a claims specialist. They told me that because I am not on the insurance, they may not cover the repairs. They are looking into whether or not she in fact did try to add me. If they can't find that she did try to add me, they said they will not cover it. Shouldn't they pay for it no matter what. Seeing how the car has comp. and collision? This is the first time I've had to deal with a claim on the insurance, so I really don't know anything about the process. I'm going in blindfolded. Everyone I've talked to has said that it doesn't matter who is driving it, if the car is insured, it's the insurance companies responsibility to cover the costs. It would be no different than you letting your neighbor borrow your car. Am I wrong??? If you have any comments or advice, please help me out. I need something to go off to work with them! Or more like against them. Thank you!""

18 year old motorcycle insurance 600cc Toronto?

Hi I'm 18 years old with an M1 licence and a Honda CBR 600 in the garage. I have no driving record and I want to start driving in the beginning of May. What I'm wondering about is the price of insurance I should expect for just liability? thanks

Is it hard to learn how to file insurance as an admissions person?

Is it hard to learn how to file insurance as an admissions person?

How much is insurance for a 16 year old girl with good grades?

Im 16 years old and wanting to get my licence. I have about a 3.4 GPA. And im not going to take drivers ed. I am going to share a car with my parents as well.They have really good credit. With geico. How much will it cost a month?

What are cheap insurance companies in Ontario? (Toronto)?

My specs: 25 years old, female car is 1994 lexus sc400 bought it for $2500 has a really good alarm on it with a pager I heard Desjardins and Aviva are good prices.. any other companies I should check out? Thanks""

Can you get a car without insurance?

b/c im getting a car without insurance

Would i be to pay for car insurance?

oki so i am on a low wage 447 a month i can get a cheap car i.e ford focus etc etc and wanted to know would about 220 a month cover a monthly cost of car insurance once i have done my test and what not i am also 21 and i could potentially get a black box but would rather avoid one due to the area i live in (other drivers acting like **** and braking hard)

Is this good Health Insurance from my work?

I will be paying 182 dollars a month for medical vision and dental coverage. I will have a 50 dollar deductible, 30 dollar copays for primary care visits (50 for specialist) and 80/20 coverage. (They pay 80 percent of the visits and I pay 20 percent, plus the flat co pay. Im new to the whole insurance thing, I just left my parents coverage. Is this considered good? I just think its sorts a lot as I only make 2100 a month.""

How much have you paid for classic car insurance?

I have just bought merc e220 1993 and looking for cheap policy. Im over 30 female and got a wicked quote for fully comp with a named driver for 180. What have you paid?

I got a ticket the same day as I got insurance?

I got pulled over but didn't have proof of insurance. I got a ticket, but only have to go in to the highway patrol to get the paper signed when I show proof of insurance. I got insurance that same day, will that work?""

What are the best health insurance options for independant business owners?

A dear friend is purchasing a Salon soon. She has covered all her financial bases and made smart choices so far. HEr main concern now is health insurance. She has always worked for a company that provided insurance, with an employee contribution. She and her husband are african american, about 45 yrs old, the husband smokes, she does not. What are the options out there that are affordable? Cobra will do for now, but as you know, full health insurance premiums are very high, what reccommendations do you have?""

How to convince my dad to insure the car? Thanks?

I had a car accident in my 2004 Honda under my dads insurance. Im 19 and I didnt get dropped from insurance. The accident had 3 claims of bodily injuries and a total loss car & I was at fault. I have the money to buy another vehicle but my dad wont insure it till the case settles. How do I convince him to insure me now while the case is settling? Hes afraid I might crash before the case is settled but I learned from my car mistake. What do I say? Thanks

term life insurance calculator quote

term life insurance calculator quote

Can a cop pull you over for no insurance?

I am going on a 2 week road trip to go see my newborn nephew and my biological family. I was laid off 2 months ago ad just got a new job. My insurance was canceled due to this back in may. I am going with my girlfriend too but taking my car because it is more reliable.

What type of bike have the cheapest insurance?

Obviously a Harleys insurance is going to be huge, but what would be cheaper a 125cc supermoto, a 125cc naked bike or a 125cc sports bike? Also what make of bike would be cheapest like yamaha or Suzuki, but none of the Chinese crap""

How much would this car be on insurance?

http://stlouis.craigslist.org/cto/1003554423.html lol I would really like to know!! asap if possible!! =p I would just be getting liability on it...nothing like full coverage XD thanks all

Getting Insurance to get a license?

I am having a hard time getting my without insurance. I have a permit but I need insurance to take the drivers test, but I don't have anyone to put me on theirs so I can take the test. Is there anything I can do so I can get insurance. Please help me""

Does any insurance company offer insurance for a classic/antique car that is not parked in a garage?

I'm looking to insure an old Ford pickup that I just restored. I don't plan on parking it in the garage every night and therefor wanted to find a classic car insurance policy that doesn't require a locked garage storage. The truck will only be used one or twice a week for pleasure so I don't want to get a typical insurance policy if I can get a classic policy for much less. I tried Hagerty and JC Taylor but have had no luck. Thanks

Have a car but no insurance?

This is an answer I got about owning a car with no insurance and if my license would be suspended even if I turn in the tag and registration. It makes no sense as a lot of people have licenses for ID only and do not have a car (because they aren't allowed or can't drive): By law if you have a driver's license you are supposed to carry insurance whether you own a vehicle or not. It's usually called non-owner's liability coverage. Because of this law they would be able to suspend your license if your company cannot provide proof that you have coverage. This answer makes no sense. I won't say who provided it/they don't allow me to answer them though.

Will this have high insurance?

i was thinking about buying a 2010 vw gti coupe or sedan. manual or automatic. is insurance on this high for a younger guy? it has a turbo on it. but it only adds i think 25hp coming out to about 200. would a sedan and automatic be cheaper insurance than a coupe/manual?

Unemployed pay more for car insurance?

The 'cat is most definately out of the bag' about big insurance companies in the UK who are making a mint from people who find themselves out of a job and renew their car insurance policies and find that their premiums have nearly doubled because of their circumstances. We already know of the money-spinning ideas they already have , ie Young Drivers and Female Drivers...now they are hitting the Redundant Jobless. Are there no lengths that these companies will stoop to make billions from us?""

Do you have health insurance?

if so, how much is it per month? How old are you? What kind of deductable do you have? Feel free to answer also if you do not have insurance and also do you support Obamacare?""

What is the cheapest car insurance for a young new driver?

What is the cheapest car insurance for a young new driver?

Question about general car insurance?

I'm doing a Statistics Lab based off car insurance and i'm a little confused. I'm supposed to make a statement to my boss about charging higher or lower car insurance based on the rating the cars get. So, for the larger, and safer the car is, should I tell my boss to RAISE the insurance prices, or lower the insurance prices? I'm a little confused on the correct way to do it? Safer = Higher insurance or lower insurace? and WHY?!?!?""

Is insurance for a salvage car cheaper?

I am looking to get a 03 Mitsubishi Evo with a salvage title. I am just wondering what it would do to my insurance? Will it be cheaper than if the car had a clean title?

Do I need to have insurance or proof of insurance when renting a car?

I'm planning on making a trip to Chicago. I have been wanting to go on a road trip for a long time. And I am afraid of taking a bus or going on a plane. A plane ticket costs a little bit too much for me. I'm 21. I currently do not own a vehicle of my own. So I am considering renting a car. I'm just wondering if I have to have car insurance in order to rent a car. I've never done this, so I have no idea what kind of things are required in order for me to rent. I've got my driver's license and a clean driving record. I don't have a line of credit. I don't have any credit cards so I hope there's no credit checks involved. Also, what's a rental car service that you would recommend? One that is cheap, honest, reliable, etc. My budget is $300. I'm going to meet a friend in Bartlett who is going to help provide me with lodgings so my only expenses to consider besides the car, are fuel and food costs. Thanks.""

""Car insurance, do you have to be insured to drive another person car?""

My boyfriend sister wants to borrow my car for 6 weeks and there is no insurance on it. But if I was to insure it for myself, would his sister be able to insure but she has no insurance on any car. Does she have to be insured on another car for her to use mine. Hope that makes sense.""

600 sport motorcycle such as the r6 or zx 6r insurance quote in Ontario?

Could anyone tell me roughly how much the insurance will cost for a 600 cc motorcycle in Ontario? I'm 20 years old and i will get my M1 really soon. Also I've had my G1 in August 2006, G2 in June 2007, and my G in april 2009. I'm a university student living away from home. Never got a ticket or an accident. also, I've never been in an insurance before. I really appreciate anyone who could answer the question.""

I need help with getting insurance...?

I am 19 years old and have just passed my test, I am female. I'm not sure what car to get that will be cheap on insurance and to buy??? any help would be much appreciated.""

How much is car insurance for a bugatti veyron?

How much is car insurance for a bugatti veyron?

Co-op smartbox for young drivers?

I am 18 and considering going through the co-op box scheme for young drivers. Everything about it looks great (I've gone from quotes of 6000+ to 3000!) but there's one area that concerns me - I can't imagine I'll be confident enough driving any time soon to be a wreckless driver, but I intend to go on holiday around Scotland with my friends in the summer where I'll be driving for a long time. I was wondering whether this might affect my insurance premium. So for example if I drove around 5 hours a week, consistently, for a few months, and then went on a road trip and drove for 30 hours one week, would this raise my premium? I ask because on the quote page it asks for how long I'll be driving on a weekly basis. Do any current customers happen to know whether they care at all? Thank you in advance! :)""

Is the company allowed to change my insurance price?

Is my company allowed to change the insurance price when i call them and change my occupation details? For example i have been put down as a student but now a couple weeks later i left college and right now i am working. Are they allowed to change the fees, etc? I have a tracking device from the company fitted in my car as well.""

What type of driving course reduces insurance?

What type of driving course from the driving school reduces insurance for new drivers?

What value does insurance companies go by to determine if car is totaled or not?

I have 2001 honda civic ex with 140,600 miles on it. I recently wrecked it and the body work, paint, and labor is coming up to $3900. There is some work under the hood that needs to be done, but I was told to get a seperate estimate for that and contact the insurance company. How much does the repairs have to amount to before the car is considered totaled???""

Insurance cost for a BMW 325i?

So I am 19 bought a 2004 BMW 325i for 12,000 dollars and was wondering how much the insurance would be? I live in CT and are only planning to use for school.""

Are Farmers Insurance rates competitive?

My friend has auto insurance with them and claims they raised his insurance rates 4 consecutive times (every 6 months). He has 3 cars with them and no accidents nor tickets during this period. Is this normal other insurance companies to be raising their rates during the last 2 years? I mean the economy sucks and they still raising rates? Is the insurance business a monopoly? Do they raise their rates all at the same time, same rates?""

How much do you think it would cost for a 20yr old to insure a toyota yaris?

Ok so I have my heart set on owning a Toyota yaris. I want a new ish car, I'm thinking of a 59 plate which would probably cost me around 6700, which I'm willing to spend. However I'm really confused by the insurance. In my head I anticipate that the insurance would cost me anywhere upto 2000 with me only being 20. But I went on a price comparison website and entered my details as accurately as possibly and it quoted me the lowest comprehensive cover price of about 500. I only want a 1.0 litre engine Toyota and I know that its in insurance group 2 or 3, but surely the insurance would be far more than that?! How much do you think it would cost to insure. I passed my test 3years ago and have been on my parents insurance since!""

MetLife Dental Insurance...?

Does anyone know how this insurance actually works? I got this insurance through my employer (haven't had insurance in a LONG time!!), and from what I'm reading...it sounds like you have to pay for services up front, and then they reimburse you?? Is this how it works, or am I mistaken? I'm so confused, and really want to go get a general cleaning and exam....but don't have the money to pay for it when I go!""

term life insurance calculator quote

term life insurance calculator quote

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/virginia-insurance-website-gloria-lara/"

[mindfulrunner]

#54: daring greatly: mississauga race report

the seed: rebellious child

I have a sassy, rebellious, high-energy toddler and I am still at heart a sassy, rebellious, high-strung child. I signed up for the Mississauga full as an act of rebellion. He was sick, and I was covered in snot and tired out of my gourd, but I did it anyway.

I thought: f*** it. I tempted fate.

Even though I have a rebellious streak, I fear and respect the marathon, and situations and circumstances I fear and respect tend to bring out the best in me. So that f*** it was also a tiny prayer: may I dig, dig, dig. May I get the most out of myself. Inspired by the openness of Shalane Flanagan and Gwen Jorgensen, I also put out my ambitious, challenging, yet within reach goal: to PB and break 3:07.

training: the limiting factor

Training this cycle went well overall, except for a major limiting factor: illness. Elliot picked up virus after virus at daycare, and I seemed to get every single one, except they lasted twice as long for me, and instead of taking off sick days to rest and take care of myself, I took them off to take care of him. Between January and May, I was sick with three upper respiratory tract infections (URTI) the flu (first time getting this in many years), and 3 GI viruses (at least one of the GI bugs was food poisoning, I think). In previous cycles, I got URTIs a couple of times that lingered, I assume because I chose to train through them, as long as I didn’t have a fever and my energy levels were OK. This year, the first of these infections struck just one week after seeing my naturopathic doctor at the end of January and telling her my immunity was great. Figures.

I was sick, or caring for Elliot, pretty much all of February, and I was intensely frustrated. At the same time, I was wrapping up a huge 5-month project at work that was overdue, and trying to maintain some fitness, mostly by running easy. Typically, I would feel OK after easy runs, but then the day after a harder effort like a long run or workout, I’d feel worse, and ease off again. On two occasions I took longer stretches off – 3 or 4 days— but had a hard time taking a full week off, which is what I probably should’ve done. My issue was I have zero faith in my immune system, and didn’t quite believe I’d get totally better with that amount of time off, since even when I’m not training colds and infections often last well over a week. In February, I averaged just 60k a week, ran only one proper long run of 28k, and 3 workouts total. In my last marathon cycle, I averaged 100+, hit all my long runs and workouts.

I raced the Chilly half sick at the beginning of March, another questionable life choice, and somehow ran a PB. It felt very hard from 6k on, which was early for me to push, and it was the first time in a long time I questioned my ability to complete a race. I coughed for a good five minutes straight at the end uncontrollably. In that moment, I really regretted what I had just done and had no joy in the PB, assuming I would get pneumonia or something, and screw over my work and family even more. Going into it, I wasn’t even sure I was going to race, but when I began to pick up the pace, I got competitive, wanted the PB, and somehow performed beyond my fitness and circumstances. Getting 100% out of myself on race day, despite only having 70-80% in my training, became my focus going into the marathon. I also figured if I could run 90 minutes on pretty bad training, the equivalent of a 3:09 marathon, I had a very good shot of PBing and, on a good day, maybe even running in the low 3s.

I got lucky and oddly enough actually felt better after racing Chilly. In March I averaged 94k per week, and in April I averaged 94k again. However, I only ran 7 weeks over 80k, and 6 of those were over 90k. In the last marathon cycle, I ran 12 weeks over 90k. So my overall build was not, for me, high-mileage. Workouts went OK. I ran marathon pace tempos between 4:21 and 4:25 pace. 4:21 felt too hard and 4:23 began to feel like the sweet spot. I had some craptacular long runs and workouts, and I noticed that these were occurring during the high-hormone, mid-luteal phase of my menstrual cycle. That started to psych me out, as the marathon fell on the same day. For more info, check this out:

pre-race: zero chill workin’ mom

The week before the marathon, a colleague abruptly went on vacation, which added an unexpected amount of stress to my workweek. Jeff was on days, which meant I was responsible for both pick-ups and drop-offs to daycare, which was also a little challenging, since Elliot seemed to be going through a period of separation anxiety again: he literally wouldn’t let go of my hand at daycare, and it broke my heart to pry his little fingers off one by one. Major mom guilt.

Taking over my colleague’s duties meant I was responsible for a project with a noon deadline the Monday after the race. F*** THAT, I thought. I worked my butt off to get it finished up as best as I could by Friday, putting in a 13-hour day, and dealing with Elliot, who was still not doing great: really fussy and clingy. I did not even have the time or presence of mind to properly track my carbs that day, although I think I got in around 500g.

After an awful night in terms of sleep, stress, and— OK I’ll admit it— a piss-poor attitude on Friday, I was super grumpy and lazed around all day Saturday. Jeff brought Elliot in to the walk-in and it turned out he had a nasty ear infection, poor dude, so I was concerned about him as well and cancelled the post-race party at our house.  We called in reinforcements, and my mom agreed to come in the morning to watch him, so Jeff could still come to the race.

It was only at 5pm that I properly started getting my head into the race. I realized all my gels and nutrition contained caffeine, so I zipped to the Runner’s Shop for some non-caffeinated ones and also picked up a sweet pair of Goodr sunglasses since I wasn’t totally sure where my normal running ones were. Then I returned home and got my bag and clothes ready with Elliot. Instead of being in bed by 9 as I should’ve, I made a pace cheat sheet with my goal 5, 10, 15, half, 25, and 30k times, as well as directions for the final really tricky with a bunch of twists and turns. I wrote out the directions moreso to ease my anxiety about the course, which I practiced running the previous week. I don’t think I fell asleep until late, maybe midnight, and was up at 4:40 to scarf down my oats.

execute: PB or bust

My goal was to PB. I didn’t care if I blew up. And I was a bit greedy. I wanted to run 3:03-3:04. I wanted to be well within striking distance of a fall sub-3. I wanted to prove this was my distance, this is where I shine. No plan B.

the race: hello glycogen depletion my old friend

Morning of, the temperatures were looking a bit warmer than expected, so I got a little nervous. And as with the Ottawa Marathon, I couldn’t properly go to the bathroom which was so weird. I wonder if carb loading messes up my digestion?

My teammate picked me up and we drove the short 30 minutes to the finish line to take the shuttle to the start. We missed our exit, and I ended up not really listening to my pre-race visualization and jams properly. At the start, I changed and immediately lined up for the bathroom and again tried to go but couldn’t. I very briefly warmed up, just 1k with a few strides, before searching for my teammates, Jake and Gar, who were going to run a similar pace. The plan was to start out at 4:23, but Gar was quicker after a few kms, so Jake and I let him go. Neither Jake or I felt great from the outset. We both had a shin issue that migrated into a hip issue, and I my calf started to cramp at 5k. However, I stayed calm, if not positive, knowing that marathons are long and these things can majorly shift. I especially tried to take the downhills in a controlled way to avoid slapping and aggravating my shin again.

As usual, the GPS watch just provided a guesstimate. This guesswork does tend to add some mystery and suspense into the effort, as I’m never totally sure if I’m hitting my goal, even if the numbers say I am, and I usually try a bit harder just in case. However, feeling that Gar was a very controlled pacer, and wondering why he’d gone ahead when he’d only wanted 3:05, I grew concerned we were running too slow. Between 8-14 k there were a few faster kilometres: 4:15, 4:17, etc. At 14k, I pulled out my sheet with the split times and some older women spectating chirped, “You don’t need a map, honey”, but the sheet told me that we were running well under our goal pace, that Gar was fast, and not to worry about him and just do our own thing. 

From that point on, Jake and I took turns leading until about 24-25k when I was officially slowing and starting to feel pretty crappy and let him go.

I don’t fully remember why I was slowing, if it was just overall discomfort or a negative mindset, or if my calf or hip were bothering me more. But I remember consciously letting him go, yet wanting to keep him in sight, and beginning to feel like the race was slipping from my control. I remember too, trying to quiet the needling thought: this is too early to feel so bad. I must’ve quieted most of my thoughts successfully, because I don’t really remember much about the next hour of the race. Maybe I lost focus? Or maybe I was incredibly focused on just hanging on. I don’t remember.

Something I struggled with that I could have controlled, maybe because I was distracted by what my teammates were doing and not running my own race, was fueling. I didn’t have a written plan, didn’t take the little baby bottles (literally baby bottles, ha ha!) of Maurten Jeff handed me, and didn’t take Gatorade at every station as I did at Ottawa. I think I took 4 gels total. I began to bonk around 34, 35k pretty hard. My watch was mostly in the low 4:30s, whereas I had wanted it in the low 4:20s. Around 35k, my heart rate also dropped according to Garmin? I’m still wondering if this was a fluke.

It was suit of armor hard, like in my first marathon. But I was reassured by the fact I was breathing pretty well, which to me signified it was still a manageable, if intense, effort. Not dead yet. I don’t think I took in any fuel after 37k, which again was silly, but I finally took one of the little bottles Jeff handed to me just prior to that. After 37, the effort to take Gatorade or a gel at that point seemed overwhelming. I need to learn to mentally prepare to work with this feeling and override it.

Luckily, during this period of bonking and serious effort, I did focus mentally, since I had women around me I was competing with. One woman in blue was wearing headphones and had very strong surges; we ran alongside each other for parts beginning at about 34k. We eventually caught up to a woman in black, who looked strong and was being paced by 2 male runners. I took their encouragement to her as my own “You’re doing great” and “Now’s the time to push if you have anything left” and we played cat and mouse a bit. I took the tangents straight, a bit aggressively, elbows a little out. 

Because the course was so twisty, I did not have the finish line in sight until the last 100m or so, although I could hear the crowds. Finally, with about 20m-50m to go, my competitor in black, who I later learned was named Karoline, had a huge kick but I somehow responded (despite apparently not using my arms at all!) and caught her at the line and came 4th woman by 1/10 of a second. My teammates were pleased I put on a funny show at the end. 

I had snuck under my PB of 3:07:36 by 50 seconds, running 3:06:46. It was a satisfying result, looking back, but I still somehow felt I’d messed up the race and felt a bit deflated, if not disappointed. Immediately after I felt terrible and needed my puffer in my bag, so I just focused on getting that instead of soaking in the accomplishment as much. 

Next time, I will be more grateful. PBs are PBs, and they don’t come forever.

But there are things to improve: higher mileage. Immunity. Fuelling. Form.

after: and when it was bad it was horrid

After the race: I. Was. Trashed. Possibly worse than after my first full. My calves and quads were dead, my lips were blue for a good hour despite wearing multiple layers, my cough was bad, and my old groin injury had somehow resurfaced. I was a GD mess. I was in pain standing and walking, but afraid to sit and cramp up.

Nothing looked more appealing than a woman, probably late 50s, laying on the grass with her legs up and feet on the trash can. I laid next to her and we chatted and both had the sillies and shared some jokes and stories. She asked my time and I asked hers. She was late to running, and expressed joy at discovering it later in life. She asked me “how’s your mind”? And I said, “Fine. I think. But you know. I shouldn’t drive” and we both cracked up laughing. She had a beautiful laugh. It was probably my favourite moment in the race besides…

BESDIES MY TEAMMATES ABSOLUTELY CRUSHING IT. Jake, Heidi, Martina, and others had absolutely mind-blowing races. I was elated for them.

Walking to the truck wasn’t possible, so after I picked up my age category prize (4th overall, 1st in age group), we walked a little until Jeff got the truck and drove back to get me. Congratulatory texts and posts started streaming in. The satisfaction of the accomplishment moreso came to me secondhand.

gone gone beyond gone.

During the race, the heart sutra surfaced. Gate (pronounced: gah-eh), gate, paragate para sam gate, bodhi svaha! 

 I first learned it after I listened to Michael Stone’s podcast during a cold, wintery sidewalk run in the suburbs at my parents’ house. In the podcast, Michael said it’s a very good sutra to say after someone has died; for me it comes up in the blank part of a run that’s just effort, where I’m struggling to settle back into it and just accept. Instead I cling to it for distraction, for something to hold on to. One last clinging thing. I also just like the rhythm of it. It’s like counting to eight again and again in a run, but better.

We chanted it at Spirit Loft and at Downward Dog after Michael died in his memory. 

Sometimes it arises out of nowhere, which was what happened in the race. Michael translated it as: gone, gone, beyond gone, across the other shores (the tone of “across to the other shores” is a bit celebratory because of the “svaha!” like a bit of a hooray thrown in).

After the result on the car ride home, I squirmed and fished around, looking to find what was gone, struggling to settle in my accomplishment, in the extreme effort of crossing to the other shore. 

I texted my brother, and Jeff previously texted my mom. Fourth woman sounds kinda cool, and it’s the type of thing non-runners usually find more interesting than running a certain time. Maybe what I needed was the validation. I scrolled through the congratulatory messages I received, searching there too. Trying to find the hooray on the other shore, the bit of joy. But I couldn’t.

The truth is I always feel a peach pit in my throat and ache in my chest after a race since my dad died. A text was never sufficient for the depth and breadth of his enthusiasm for my running. He would want a phone call with a detailed play-by-play. He would’ve looked up the result. He probably would’ve been there, cheering, telling me to kick butt. He would have gasped with amazement and interest that I’d outkicked someone at the line with an “Em-chen! You’re kiddin’!” and a big WOW, and would’ve called me “fast twitch” in the next few emails or texts he sent me.

I didn’t make the mistake of trying to search for my dad in my mom. They are different. I am growing. I didn’t begrudge her for not being him. The night before the race, she told Jeff that after my dad ran his first marathon, she let him know she wouldn’t support him running them anymore. I asked her about it when we got home from the race, curious but also already knowing why. She said, “It’s too extreme, the training takes too much time, you get too thin. My friends were asking what was wrong with him, he got to 145 lbs. 10ks, those are fine. But I said, with three little kids, we wouldn’t come to your races. You could do it on your own time. But we won’t support it.”

At one time I would’ve seen a jab in these words, a pin to deflate my victory balloons, which were already pretty sad and deflated. But now I frame it as touching: a mother’s concern, her sharp attention, even though I am grown up now, noticing and worrying about the lines in my face, the cough that won’t go away, the apparent lack of rest and pleasure in my life, the strange seriousness and intensity of my hobbies.

I sent her a text thanking her again for her help with Elliot and explaining, “I know running isn’t the most pleasant/healthiest hobby but for me it is very exciting to discovery athleticism, teammates, and a sport I have some skill at. Really really appreciative of your help.” She responded, “You are welcome. Glad you were happy with results. My bias will always be for optimal health. Which everyone perceives differently.”

My dad perceived optimal health differently than her, too. He sprinted the last part of his easy runs with his running mates, racing for fun. He always beat Rob, and mostly beat Sean. He ate the burger and the chips. He sometimes had the extra drink. He got chippy in the corners at hockey and didn’t control his emotions very well at all when fishing or playing golf. From the outside, his leisure time sometimes looked stressful. He had a rebellious streak, too. And he savoured the juices of life.

shore up

I am my father and my mother. I am the rebellious, intense child, but also the patient, steadfast mother. I don’t want to run reckless. I try and do things that impact Elliot the least: lunch runs, run commutes, 5:00am runs while he is sleeping. I don’t want to compromise my long-term health in a serious way, or my connections with Jeff and Elliot. I don’t think I am. 

But I can’t deny I’m curious. I’m hungry. I’m keenly interested in limits. I want to be a student of limits. There is a spark here, there is a flame. I’m protective of it. I want to tend to it.

As a teenager and in my twenties, I shrank myself to accommodate my parents’ expectations. Risk-taking was out of sight, never in the open. The dark parts of my personality were hidden away the best that I could and came out in sulking and silence. My seriousness and intensity came out in academics, the secret crushes I had, and maybe our political and philosophical arguments around the dinner table, but I didn’t express it openly in my hobbies. I wrote but always in secret. I wrote with expletives, experimentally, raw and weird and my mom came across my blog once, the F bombs and all, and was shocked and disturbed, and never again followed any of us on social media. I published a poem but later requested it be removed from a website, ashamed of my rawness. I hemmed up all my raw edges.

But my goal this year is to neither puff myself up, press on foolishly headlong into bad decisions, stubborn and imagining myself so alone, nor shrink into the background resentfully, obediently, and only do-- on the surface-- what’s normal or expected or desired from others. 

Neither puff up nor shrink. But also ask: why not me? 

I see no reason I can’t achieve big goals.

I see no reason I can’t go sub-3. 

I say this neither puffed up with ego, or shriveled with shame about the intensity of my own interests, the extremeness of my personality that befuddles and perhaps annoys others, even those I love the most.

So many of the skills I have as a runner– equanimity, understanding and maintaining boundaries, mental toughness, a desire to research, detachment, a deeper spiritual faith or purpose underlying my actions, the deeply joyful appreciation of nature on the trails and recreational paths– all of these things come from my mother. 

But some skills come from my dad, too: taking corners aggressively with elbows out, the cycling between anxiety and excitement, the runner’s high, the chicken-leg calves, the competitive show-boat streak, the hacking cough, the imagination running wild late at night or at work with fantasies of fast finishes and faster times and unimaginable improvement. 

The fascination with something like the heart sutra appearing unannounced at the end of a hard effort? Well, that one is the best. And that one is both of them.

I am a blend of the two, one measured and questioning, one seeking and a little recklessly enthusiastic.

And I am so much more: a mother, a partner, a sister, a teammate, a spiritual seeker.

Why not me?