#tintin and haddock are disasters

[dimdiamond]

I started it as a joke based on this post but it went out of my hands as every project ever got into my hands.

Part: 1 / 2 / 3 (Speech bubbles in alt text)

[illegally-blind-and-deaf]

I HAVE A TINTIN HEADCANON!

Yes, another...

ANYWAY

At Marlinspike Hall, Nestor is not the only one whobuses the kitchen. Haddock is often find of fixing himself something to each when he's bored, and Calculus s been known to sneak a cheese or five from the refrigerator.

There is one person who is banned from baking in there and that is Tintin.

Sure, Tintin can cook the basics; he can make toast, heat up canned and frozen food, the whatnot.

But Tintin cannot for the life of him bake.

The first time wasn't too disastrous: he tried to make melting moment biscuits but forgot the butter.

The second time, Nestor walked in to two failed batches of cupcake batter dumped in the bin and Tintin frowning at the recipe. Nestor couldn't help but laugh as he explained that Tintin had been reading the recipe in grams, not ounces, to which the boy dropped his head onto the kitchen counter, unaware that his hair was now white with flour.

It got progressively worse until Tintin managed to put blotting paper in bread.

Blotting paper.

In bread.

When asked to explain himself (through hysterics, because Haddock was wetting himself with laughter,) he sheepishly recounted how he forgot about the dough when he left it to rise, so he had put it in the tin and sprayed it with oil so it didn't dry out and left it to rise again. He forgot about it once more, and went to re-knead the dough, but because of the extra oil, in had grown greasy. So, he had gotten some blotting paper, rested it on the dough and, as he told himself to not put the paper into the dough, he pushed the paper into the dough.

From that day on, Tintin was not allowed to bake unless supervised by a more experience adult.

He was not happy about that.

[kibo-no-akademi]

Some anonymous asked: 1. are there any canon characters that inspired your oc? - Hanno 2. For Hanno, how long ago did you create your oc? how did the idea come to you?

ORIGINAL CHARACTER QUESTIONS & HEADCANONS

(These are two separate questions, but seeing it's for the same character decided to put them together to make it more easy. 👍)

As well putting it all under spoiler since it's long.

Are there any canon characters that inspired your oc?

//Yeeeeaaaaahhhhh... Hanno's inspiration mostly comes from vintage/old cartoons, but character wise, he was mostly inspired by Popeye the sailor man, Haddock from Tintin and of course, Ryoma Hoshi from DRV3.

As a funny bonus, i originally had planned for him to have a similar personality as Ryoma, but the more i as working on his expressions and character, he pretty much started to give me a diffrent vibe, and he simply ended up being completly opposite of his concept.

how long ago did you create your oc? how did the idea come to you?

//He was created back in November 2021, the idea why he was created? well...

TLDR version: Wanted Cateline to have a free boyfriend lmao.

Long ass version: As you probably noticed on my RP blog, i pretty much enjoy shipping and fluff, i'm a complete trash when it's about that, and i was definetly like so back when i made my first RP blog for Cateline, and basically shipping/relationship wise that happened back then, it was but a disaster, and doesn't help how toxic the tumblr RP fandom was back then.

Now that i came back, i honestly didn't wanted to go thru the same things that happened before. So to avoid it, while satiating my need to see two people holding hands and being mushy to one another, Hanno was created.

But also the idea behind his creation was, while conversing with my friends for our fangan-class, i thought it would be cool to try and design the token funny-looking/gonk character. (Tho he ended up being much cuter than i originally intended, so who knows if he is so or not lol.)

(So while tecnically multishipping is still a thing for my muses, at least canonically their happy together.)

[spiltcandycoatedpunkblood]

i just get way too many ideas for them, i just love understanding their characters through memes

[greatsnakestintin]

right so Haddock is scottish right?? so britain does not get above 15° in the very depths of summer and this might be me projecting because of this heatwave but Archibald Haddock cannot handle heat or humidity, we see it when they’re in the desert, it’s a disaster, his hair poofs out, he’s delirious, he can’t think and more often than not ends up sticking his head in the fridge while tintin, the little shit, is prancing about in his swimsuit loving every second of the heat and then complains later that he’s sunburnt

[backtomyfirstfandom]

Tintin and the Secret of the Unicorn alternative scene

Let's just ignore the fact that I have tons of other things to write, thank you.

Check this post for context.

∆

Characters and events of the epical tales his grandfather used to tell him manifested in front of his eyes as Sakharine walked down the crane arm with misplaced elegance. Red Rackham and Sakharine seemed to become one, mixing up like two different fumes, a single person that came back from afterlife and a remote past to take revenge on whatever was left of the Haddocks.

- Who gave you permission to board my ship? - Haddock growled as he painfully stood up to face Sakharine's advancing form (sword ready in the right hand).

- I don't need it - the man retorted, cold politeness in his voice - I've never needed it -

A scene like that had already occurred in history, somewhere where the only witnesses had been the victims of such events and the ones who thought they had win and celebrated too early; they both knew how it had ended: a complete disaster in which everyone had lost everything and had gotten out of it defeated. But because humans like to pretend (or believe) that they hold their destiny in their hands, both Sakharine and Haddock fooled themselves into hoping that things would have turned to one of them's favour.

Sakharine needed to mend the steps his ancestor had failed, while Haddock needed to make up a lot of ground.

They threw themselves towards eachother with swords thirsty for blood, one defending a treasure he had been searching for decades, the other fighting to get it back.

Their bodies were betraying the old tails they had been told time after time, forced to follow a script that would make them justice; they were not Red Rackham and Francis De Haddock, those were other times for other people, other people that brought their ancestor's better qualities but lacked of others, though they were still facing an old divergence between two people.

As Haddock threw the first bottle of whiskey, Sakharine should have probably cried in pain at the glass shattering against his back, but he could only turn around with an astonished expression as he tried to process whatever had occurred to him, expression that didn't leave him even as he lifted the sword to aim at the second bottle (his muscular memory doing the job for him). He took bottle after bottle with meticulous precision, too focused on the current concern to worry about the irregularities of the ground on which he was backing, falling back as his feet failed to find the ground.

Due to the frantic motion he broke in in order to attempt at keeping his balance, the parchments escaped from the pocket of his jacket, flying in the air before Haddock flinched forward to collect them. He gave himself time just to give them a quick glance, already smiling victoriously, but prepared himself for another attack right after as he raised his sword and backed up of a few steps, knowing Sakharine was as stubborn as him.

As thought, the man jumped back on his feet with an irritated glare, this time holding a loaded gun.

- Let's not become uncivil, Haddock - Sakharine said as he stepped forward - Give them back -

- Over my dead body - Haddock replied, feeling his body burning at the presence of the gun aimed at him, but put the parchments in the pocket of his trousers.

Both the men looked like they were about to add more to their words, however the clicking sound of metal distracted them: they turned around just in time to witness Tintin throwing himself at them as he held on a rope, Sakharine acting on mere instinct when he focused on a new target and pulled the trigger.

The shot was the only sound that filled the moment in which Tintin lost the grip on the rope and was left to tumble on the ground.

∆

After centuries since their horrendous loss, they were all too busy trying to mend on their mistakes to actually notice that they were following the same pattern that had left Haddock and Sakharine dry mouthed. Most of all, it was Tintin who was completely unaware that he had learnt less than nothing from his previous attempt (much less he knew that he had actually been there as well).

If Haddock had learnt something about him during those days it certainly was that the lad could be as stubborn as brave; which meant he would have gotten himself killed rather than giving up.

Horror took place in his expression when he witnessed Tintin rolling on the ground without a scream, the sight fading before his eyes as an ancient (but certainly not less familiar) version of the scene replaced it: now the setting was a ship and Tintin was not laying on a concrete floor, but rather being pulled back on his feet by a rough man right after his disastrous fall.

- Why would I waste on Rhum, tobacco, molasses and dates when you have a more valuable cargo on board? Where is it? - were Red Rackham's words as Haddock was being tied to the foremast of the Unicorn.

The ship was haunted by pirates, any of them taking the upper hand and making the entire scene so confusing and chaotic to prevent Haddock from noticing the way they were threatening the thing that was the dearest thing in the world to him.

- You'll have to kill me first - came Haddock's bold answer, the sassy smile on his face dying after two pirates moved to the wave of Rackham's sword.

- The lad will come first. And then your men -

Roughly dragged over the deck, a young redhead made a stand to the men that had a hold on his hair and neck. Such a young man had succeeded to be as stubborn in every life he had ever lived, getting himself in equal danger every time.

He limped painfully, his face contorting in a grimace with every step, and had his hands tied behind his back.

The name of Tintin's ancestor had been unknown to anyone who had ever been told or transmitted the tales of the Unicorn, as unknown as the relationship that Haddock had with the lad (was he more like a son or a brother? Or maybe a lover? Anyone who had the answer might have gotten a conspicuous reward, given the interest for the information).

But what had survived the hunger of time was the fact that he was a native french speaker and that he had been promoted from cabin boy to navigator after his first journey under Haddock's command; he was a brilliant man who had surprised everyone with his unexpected knowledge of the sea when the previous navigator had fallen sick (and subsequently perished) during the crossing of a pirate territory, leading everyone to safety.

That was his third journey on the ship.

He was stubborn and dangerously feral when angry, characteristic due to which he spit the blood that had gathered in his mouth right towards Rackham once they were facing eachother. He would have made a perfect pirate.

Haddock would have done anything for the lad (a detail that was well known to anyone who knew the full story), and it was with fear of anything happening to him that he led Rackham to the secret cargo, trusting the promise of an unfair man.

In front of the group gathered into the cabin the floor opened to reveal a blinding amount of gold and jewels, Rackham checking it with a satisfied grin. He could have taken anything he wanted, leave the ship without a single coin for what Haddock could care: his sight and full attention was aimed at Tintin's persona, still restrained by the strong grip of two pirates.

Rackham re-emerged nonchalantly (just as he had taken the first step on the ship) and for a moment Haddock let himself believe that that nightmare of a day had finally come to an end.

However, Rackham took a wider step and his sword sank into Tintin's torso. The world went noiseless for the next few seconds, the lad not even getting himself to scream as the pain had cut all the oxygen from his lungs.

- Kill his men! -

- Rackham, you gave me your word! - Haddock cried out as the sounds crashed on him all at once.

His men screaming for help on the deck, Rackham's sword escaping the flesh, Tintin's sharp gasp and the sound his shoes made as they were forcing him to walk to the door was enough to have Haddock snapping out of his trance and flinch forward; he was held back right before he could reach for Tintin, struggling against whoever was holding him still while he couldn't take his eyes off of the lad's blood streaming copiously from the wound.

- Don't take him away! - Haddock pleaded, but they didn't stop - Let me hold him as he dies! It's all I ask! -

Rackham had his man stop once Tintin had managed one single step on the stairs to the deck, his legs looking like jelly and face way too pale.

- On your knees, cur - Rackham ordered, the lad behind him look like he needed to throw up his entire soul as his senses were leaving him as fast as his blood.

Not able to care about his pride or reputation, Haddock knelt on the ground with no second thoughts, looking up at the pirate.

- I beg you: let him be in friendly arms as he dies - Haddock cried, tears forming into his eyes at Rackham's cold stare.

Pirates weren't known for their good and soft heart, of which most of them completely lacked, but there was no reason in being further cruel (if not for personal enjoyment) and Rackham knew that. The ship was theirs, the last member of Haddock's crew had just been tossed into the cold and dark sea, and there was no way that lad would have made it to any land or ship that would have coincidentally showed for help.

Pirates were known for taking it easy when there was no reason to get stressed out.

After Rackham's wave of his sword Tintin was tossed back into the middle of the cabin, his legs abandoning him as he was no more able to sustain himself even as he tried, but Haddock was there to catch him, quick enough that the lad didn't have the chance to hurt himself any further.

- Take your time: none of you is going anywhere - and with these words, Rackham and his men were back outside, locking the door shut.

Tintin was limp in Haddock's arms, his eyes closed, face pressed against his side and shirt stained in blood to the point it was easy to the captain to fear the lad had left him in the moment he had sunk into his arms; however, the way he weakly went to press on his bleeding wound after Haddock freed his hands told him that he was still with the mortals.

- I guess you were right when you said I would have gotten myself killed one day - the lad chuckled, an amused smile spreading on his lips when Haddock went to caress his cheek.

It was nothing more than a whisper, impossible to hear to anyone who wasn't as close as they were in that moment, and the soft tone of his painful voice was enough to have Haddock break into a watery laugh.

Tintin had always been like that: sassy and strong til the end, even when any other man would have fallen into desperation.

- What were you trying to do? - Haddock questioned him in fondness, remembering seeing him flying around the ship holding to a piece of rope.

- In my defense I can say I shot a couple of men that were going for your back -

- You should have left your courage home when we sailed -

- We wouldn't have made it this far -

- We would have made it even farther -

- I'd be swimming with the crew if that had been the case - Tintin affirmed, the voice of truth - But you will make it farther -

- And how's that? -

- You're an Haddock: you always have a plan -

And then the lad opened his eyes, looking up at the captain with his cold, blue stare. The look remained strong and peaceful for a moment as he happily rested in his captain's arms, cracking into a terrified one as tears spread into his eyes.

- I don't wanna go - he sobbed.

And suddenly the blood was too much: it was staining their clothes, the floor, their hands, soaked into Haddock's memory as he forced himself to not burst out crying right there; he wanted the lad to die peacefully, feeling safe and protected by him one last time (after all the times Tintin had protected his captain).

- Are you afraid? - Haddock asked, a very stupid question.

Tintin nodded and a sob caused him to groan in pain.

- It's going to be okay. I promise - Haddock whispered, drying every tear that streamed from the lad's eyes.

But how could he know? As far, none of the men he had lost at sea had come back to tell him that it in fact got better after his body was freed from the pain.

- We will meet again, okay? - Tintin muttered, voice thick with tears - And this time I won't die -

- I'll make sure you won't. It's a promise -

The lad gave one last sob before closing his eyes and surrendering at the invisible force taking his soul by hand and guiding it out of his body (as the tales told). He died a few moments later, tears still streaming down his wet cheeks.

∆

Tintin cried out in the concrete as the pain was too much to play it cool and just deal with it; squeezing his eyes shut but preserving the lucidity that accompanied even the worst of his moments, he went to press on the shot wound on his right knee, trying to keep the blood from streaming freely and his hands flinching when he only caused himself more pain.

He bit his lip in the hope of keeping his composure, and what came out of his mouth was reduced to an incoherent screeching while his shaky hands still tried to keep the blood inside the knee. The pain the lad was feeling rushed through Haddock's body just by looking at the way he was struggling with the damage caused by the bullet.

The captain flinched forward as soon as Tintin gave the first scream, but Sakharine had been way faster as he reached the lad first, pointing the gun at Haddock.

- Stay the fuck away from him! - the captain snapped, unable to step further.

Sakharine grasped Tintin's hair as if Haddock hadn't even spoke, gaining a loud curse in German and blood spit on his suit. The hard slap that followed the gesture was enough for Haddock to have a reason to risk his own life and step forward, freezing once again when Sakharine pointed the gun against the lad's forehead.

For the first time since they'd met, Tintin drew a sharp gasp at feeling his life in danger and squeezed his eyes as tears (whether due to pain or fear) started streaming from his eyes.

- Another heroic gesture from you two and he dies - Sakharine warned them as he yanked Tintin up by the fistful of hair he held.

The lad groaned in pain (a guttural noise that resounded in his throat), his neck kept bent backwards and unable to keep the pressure on his wound.

- I'm getting sick of this story: it has been going on for way too long - Sakharine continued.

- I'll do anything you want - Haddock quickly answered, noting the way Tintin's breath fastened the more he stood.

- We've learnt something from last time -

- What the fuck is that supposed to mean? - Tintin muttered in a feral rage given by the mixture of fear and pain.

It was an unconscious self-defence mechanism: if attacked, strike back with twice the strength.

- Didn't remember speaking to you -

- I speak whenever I want, thank you - Tintin snapped in response, his boldness buying him a kick in his injured knee.

The lad attempted to curl up on himself when his leg bent at an uncomfortable angle, biting his lips but not managing to keep himself from crying out a curse. He would have fallen to the ground if he wasn't being held on his feet against his will.

- Let him go! - Haddock pleaded, instinctively covering his ears at how painful and broken Tintin's voice sounded.

- Give me the parchments, Haddock, and you won't repeat the same error again! -

Way faster that what his pride would have normally allowed him, the captain drew the parchments out of his pocket and let Sakharine step forward to grab them itself. The man took a moment to inspect what he had been handed, doing the mistake of lowering the gun: wherever he had collected all of that energy and courage, Tintin turned into the grip and threw a fist in the middle of Sakharine's face.

The man stumbled back and Tintin fell to the ground with a groan when nothing was holding him on his feet anymore. Haddock was by his side right when the lad was dangerously trying to stand once again, arms trembling as they couldn't support him anymore.

- What were you trying to do? - Haddock questioned him, drawing Tintin to his chest to give him something to lean on as he sat.

- I can't let him get the treasure - the lad groaned, going to apply pressure on the wound.

Haddock pulled his hands back from the injury as he needed to get a look at the knee himself to note how serious it was: the bullet had entered on the external side of the knee, and the kick served to only make everything worse as the leg was now sitting in an angle it should have never had.

He wasn't a doctor but he could tell how painful and not well it was.

- Screw the treasure - Haddock snapped, pressing an handkerchief on the wound.

- What? -

- I said: screw the treasure! I can't lose you again! -

- And what is that..? -

The two froze at hearing a metallic click at their back, and found Sakharine back on his feet and point the gun at them.

- That, my dear annoying boy, means we all were on the Unicorn - he answered before the question was even complete - Or at least our ancestors were -

Tintin aimed a confused look at Haddock.

- You threw your life away to protect your captain, just as you're doing in this exact moment. Apparently you're not smart enough to learn from your mistakes - Sakharine explained.

- I can't learn from something I don't remember - Tintin protested, flinching in Haddock's protective embrace as Sakharine leaned forward.

- Shut the fu..! - he shouted, but sighed in exasperation - You know what? I'm done. I'm just going to kill you both -

Tintin gave a shaky breath as he hid in Haddock's jumper, the captain curling up around the lad's figure in the hope of saving him another bullet.

- Hands up! -

The scene had needed an external help to exist its usual pattern, and that external help consisted in Nestor pointing a hunting rifle in Sakharine's direction while Dupond and Dupont handcuffed him (stopping him from being a public menace).

Tintin and Haddock sat still in their shock at having been just a few seconds from death, holding eachother in a choking embrace.

- Are you okay? - Haddock managed to ask.

- Ask me tomorrow - Tintin muttered, voice as shaky as his weak body.

The captain dropped a strong kiss to his read hair (way stronger than what was opportune at the moment) going back to hold him tight once again. The lad needed an hospital as soon as possible, but they were still alive and they would have stayed as such.

Haddock was still having an hard time at processing that piece of information.

[queenoftheblackpuddlexoxo]

part 2 of my crap ass fanfic. IDC! I'm writing and I'm happy

Just like that, Bianca had left. Haddock stood there, numb and filled with a cold sense of dread; every time someone had come to stay at the manor for more than an overnight visit, it spelled disaster. Now here he was, playing host to a woman he had only just met and was, as she had put it, “troubled.” Thundering typhoons, what did she even mean by troubled?!

“...And the dining room is just down this hall. If these walls could talk, I’d love to hear the stories they’d tell!” Tintin’s voice came into focus as he and the young woman walked past once more, putting an end to the Captain’s worried daydreaming. Gingerly, he began to open the door.

Tintin turned to face him, Cheyanne copying the gesture. “Oh, hello Captain.” His optimistic grin soon turned to a worried frown. “Is something the matter?”

“Matter? Eh, no, no…” He didn’t want to make a scene, or make the girl feel bad; he was an unwilling host but not a monster. “Er, Miss Cheyanne, I…”

“You can call me Shy, if you want. All of my friends do.” She mustered a timid smile.

He cleared his throat. “Shy, then. Madame Castafiore tells me you’ll be staying with us for a few weeks.”

Tintin raised a brow, clearly shocked. “She did? When?”

“Just now.” Haddock spoke through his teeth.

The girl-Shy-bit her lip. “I hope it isn’t too much trouble; Auntie insisted you’d love to have me, but I don’t want to get in your way. I can call my mother to come get me if I’m going to be a bother.”

Ouch...Why did she have to be so sweet about it? The Captain forced a smile and gave his head an awkward scratch. “Don’t be silly, lass. I was going to say, you’re more than welcome to bunk with us.” Damned guilt. With a tiny smile of her own, she gave a nod.

“Thank you. You’re very kind to have me, and I promise I’ll stay out of the way.”

Captain Haddock looked at Tintin with a frazzled expression, saying nothing though his eyes revealed everything. He had a feeling he was very much going to regret this, but there was nothing he could do.

[illusioncanthurtme]

biiiiiiiiiiiiiitttttttcccccccchhhhhhh i dont think anyone knows this about me but awhile ago, QUITE awhile ago i made 2 ask blogs, one for jeff and tony and another for tintin and haddock. I remember there was like a month period where i was super into tintin and well??? the other is pretty self explanatory. but ive been planning on sprucing up my theme right now because its a disaster and i remembered i messed around with html formatting awhile ago when i made those two blogs. i never told anyone or made any posts for it because all i did was make a blog theme and then procrastinate on actually running the blog. Anyway i just found both of them and theYRE SO FUCKGIGNSJFK CUUTEEEEE. hell i should just quit illustration and be a graphic design major. Anyway here they are if you want to look at them in desktop mode so you can see my perfect graphic design is my passion nonsense

Jeff and Tony

Tintin and Haddock

[sys-garden]

thinking about all the ways it would take disasters tintin and haddock together <3 it would have to be so dramatic

[no-depression-for-vampires]

No one reads Tintin for Tintin, the walking human disaster m they read it for Snowy and Haddock

[dimdiamond]

Part 2 is dedicated to all the Dancing Queens out there!

Part: 1 / 2 / 3 (Speech bubbles in alt text)

[itunesbooks]

The Calculus Affair - Hergé

The Calculus Affair Hergé Genre: Graphic Novels Price: $2.99 Publish Date: January 1, 1954 Publisher: MOULINSART Seller: MOULINSART “For The Calculus Affair, I traveled for the first time, in order to sketch and take photos of the places where the action was going to take place.” –Hergé An amazing invention from Professor Calculus starts to cause disasters at Marlinspike Hall: all the windows blow out, as well as most of the glass objects! Professor Calculus' new discovery is a source of envy and he is soon abducted. It’s now up to Tintin and Captain Haddock to rescue their friend and prevent his mysterious invention from being transformed into a fearsome weapon. Tintin, perhaps one of the most famous cartoon heroes of all time, is as much a child of the 20th century as his creator, Georges Remi—aka Hergé (1907-1983). Tintin’s adventures, marked by his inquisitiveness, sense of mystery and witty humour, are deeply rooted in the events of that tumultuous era. Featuring an official new English translation. http://dlvr.it/R16RrB

[dimdiamond]

I was asked on insta how Tintin and Haddock survived the hot air balloon crush and well ✨ PHYSICS ✨

Just imagine a parachute ok I'm not an expert

[dimdiamond]

Ok the kissing prompt again: 10 for haddotin 🌸

In which Nestor is sick of queerbaiting and wants them to make it official.