sys-garden

[sys-garden]

[sys-garden]

fun fact this exchange was ad libbed and richard mcgonagle originally said whore in church but was told to take it down a notch lol

I fucking love how out of pocket the uncharted 1 jokes are

EDIT: JUST REALISED THIS IS FROM UNCHARTED 2 IM A LIAR, so I guess I mean I love how out of pocket the early uncharted games jokes are

[sys-garden]

these two pages on nathan drake's journal

he's such a baby. i want him.

the fact that he has a flower for every one of his girl make me want to scream

[sys-garden]

"Ok, ma'am that'll be $226.03."

I take my wallet out of my pocket and unfold it. It is empty other than a single moth that lazily flies out. The moth lands on the tap point of the card reader. There's a beat, and my payment is processed. The moth flies back into my wallet and I put it back in my pocket.

[sys-garden]

[sys-garden]

thinking about tintin and his army of adopted little siblings

[sys-garden]

does anyone want ot hear about my new favorite old men?

[sys-garden]

Croc Magazine #94 cover and concept sketches, by Pierre Durand, 1987. Croc was a Quebecois satire and commentary magazine, and for their gay-themed issue, a twink version of Tintin and leather daddy Haddock were featured on the cover. They do not appear elsewhere in the issue, but artist Durand also created three test sketches.

[sys-garden]

Im kinda going down a rabbit hole of Tintin fandom stuff but i find it incredibly fascinating that HaddoTin is one of the oldest ships between cartoon characters, like, ever, and one of the oldest/most iconic LGBT ships. Tintin in general is considered an LGBT icon and i love him for that.

Tintin is sometimes joked around as being gay because of his lack of interest in relationships but it's more likely he is simply asexual. Both are good

Apparently, the ship dates back to all the way in the 1970's. I wonder if there are any other historical ships between cartoon characters that predate it.

I'm becoming more interested in the franchise since i want to familarize myself with comic book culture more, but I've mostly just been watching the cartoon bc it's easier, lol. Tintin, along with Kenichi and Joe Shimamura are probably the top three inspirations i have behind the character of Sam. Sam and Tintin share a trait of being LGBT (but ofc it's only a headcanon on Tintin's part)

[sys-garden]

Girl Tintin

[sys-garden]

What did tintin dream?

[sys-garden]

THIS IS MY ROMAN EMPIRE

[sys-garden]

Have you ever been to earth?

On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:

You’re an idiot.

Let me further explain:

Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.

Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.

When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.

And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:

Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.

Nope.

My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.

You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.

And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.

What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.

I just want a burrito.

In conclusion:

You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.

UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:

A fucking fork?

I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.

If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.

That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.

Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS.

A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now.

People eat burritos with forks?

God is sorry he made us.

(Source)

[sys-garden]

Tiki Jungle 💚

[sys-garden]

it’s the way that aragorn introduced his lifelong friend to a mutual and ended up becoming a third wheel on his own quest to save middle earth. like bro was covered in dirt trying to sleep for an hour while the dwarf n elf were giggling n flirting on their bedrolls forced to witness an enemies to friends to lovers fic in real time

[sys-garden]

just a sampling of the many absolutely iconic one-liners in LPS Popular (1/?)

[sys-garden]

What