#timothy dexter

[lakefoundtheirexit]

Is there a modern equivalent to the book "A Pickle For The Knowing Ones"?

For those not in the loop the book was written by a guy named Timothy Dexter who through sheer dumb luck became one of the richest people during the revolutionary era of the US. Before he died he wrote his memoir, full of incomprehensible misspelled text and a lack of punctuation, except for at the end where there's a whole dedicated section for punctuation, because, and I quote him directly:

fouder mister printer the Nowing ones complane of my book the fust edition had no stops I put in A Nuf here and thay may peper and solt it as they plese

This man was a shitposter before there was even a word for it and I think about him often

[jizzjazz123]

Timothy Dexter be like

[gergthecat]

:0

[sharknado-funko-pop]

it's 1802

going eagle for eagle with a bloke and he pulls out this shit

[starryluminary]

“John decided I didn’t have to die over an honest mistake” WHAT.

[yesthatsatumbler]

TFW for me by far the best/funniest part of the story is that it's the Emperor Norton bridge.

Like, yeah, I know the backstory of why it's called that. But it's just still so hilarious that a guy as ridiculous as Emperor Norton got a major transport link named after him. (Two major transport links if I understand what you're trying to describe correctly.)

Honestly the whole biography of the guy (after arrival in SF at least) is just... so very Tumblr I guess. That feels like a very fitting description.

...There should be more Tumblr stuff about Emperor Norton is what I'm saying.

(Also about Timothy Dexter. But I guess Brockton Bay Innsmouth Newburyport is a much smaller audience than San Francisco.)

I took the Emperor Norton bridge into work today and it was hilarious: there were like EIGHT cop cars parked along it.

They are clearly TERRIFIED that protesters might shut down the bridge again.

The extra funny thing is that all eight were on the Oakland-YBI span, but when protesters shut down the bridge, they shut down the YBI-San Francisco span. Presumably protesters would do that again, because it's more of a bottleneck, but the cops can hang out there: it's so much of a bottleneck that if the cops did hang out there, THEY would be impeding the flow of traffic on the bridge.

But in order to appear like they're doing something, they are guarding the wrong half of the bridge.

(of course, if protesters do close the bridge, they can be there quickly... But it'll probably be too late. You can close a bridge quick)

[beelas-bees-art]

forgot to ever post these from weeks back

tcoh mlp au. if you even care. sorry it's all letters huh

[moosha-mushroom]

The ex-boyfriends, collect em all!

Elias— beautiful eyes, great sense of humor, belonged to a weird institution and would always talk about the weird institution and eventually you realized he wasn’t your boyfriend at all, he was trying to get you to join his weird institution.

Timothy— aspiring fashion designer, forgot your birthday, was secretly several dozen worms in a human disguise.

Jordan— unemployed(eh), slept on the bare fucking ground, claimed he wasn’t the Ant King but then one night you followed him into the tunnels and he sat down on a makeshift throne and a bunch of ants surrounded him and he definitely said ‘I am the Ant King’.

Dexter— never paid for you, feared commitment, said his favorite movie was Widower’s Weave, but it was actually Charlotte’s Web.

I like Jordan :3

[index-wwe-gifs]

An unconventional opponent💀

[nakeddeparture]

Sherwin Dexter Abrams, 33 - Assault on Satie and Timothy Goberdan - Got Bail - Barbados.

https://youtu.be/-g2i11JGUC0

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[billlaotian]

[admincendekiawanjudi]

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[publicdomainreview]

After complaints about Timothy Dexter's A Pickle for the Knowing Ones (1797) being entirely devoid of punctuation, in future editions the eccentric businessman supplied a supplemental page so that people “may peper and solt as they please”: https://publicdomainreview.org/collection/dexter-pickle

[multifandom-exe]

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-

And anybody else you may like!

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[bones4thecats]

HEYAAAA HOW ARE YOUUU , btw hi hi hiii

Uhh if this doesnt brother you can i request a indra , Loki , Hermes (and maybe Odin??) W the same thing that the lizuannn girl request , just her req but w these charas , ty and have a great monthhh

(please ignore this if you cant do it srryyyyyyyy))

A/N: Doing this was quite fun, I love writing for Odin tbh, and while he's not my favorite character, he's awesome! Anyways, enjoy~~

For Info on Req: Lizuannn's Request

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🌊 When you were called upon by Zeus, one of your oldest allies, to fight in Ragnarok, Indra was initially very persistent on you not doing this

🌊 But seeing how your opponent, Timothy Dexter, also known as the ‘Luckiest Idiot in History’, he felt a bit more at ease

🌊 Then the fight ensued and he kept, somehow, dodging and your attacks missed

🌊 Shiva and the other Hindu Gods could sense his slight nervousness from miles away, and it made them look at you with suspicion, maybe this human would be the death of you

🌊 Indra watched as you summoned your 12 Shikigami and he smirked, lightning his second cigarette with his lightning, knowing now you were getting serious

🌊 Seeing the human tranquilize and turn into shattered glass made him fully smile, knowing you were safe

🌊 Afterwards while he watched you mess around with Shiva, since he had only one arm while the others were regrowing, his joy grew

🌊 You were safe, and that's all that mattered

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🐍 He wanted to fight in Ragnarok himself

🐍 But watching you fight could suffice his urges for the moment

🐍 Once the human known as Timothy Dexter tried hitting you, his face turned from his prideful smile, to a deadly grimace

🐍 Loki did not like watching a human try harming his S/O, especially with their own attacks

🐍 He has seen you fight Gods, so he knew how powerful you were, but this human’s luck was immaculate, it even scared him!

🐍 When he saw you start getting serious, his smirk grew until he started to cackle like a psychopath

🐍 That's when everyone knew, that human was done for.

🐍 Eventually the match ended with Humanity's loss and Gods' win, and everyone on their side cheered for you, especially your husband

🐍 Loki hugged you and cooed how strong and amazing you were against that pathetic and feeble human

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📨 Hermes knew who was fighting before anyone else, as he was the Messenger of the Gods and sent out the requests for Ragnarok

📨 When he heard from his father that he needed a very strong opponent for Humanity, as he knew Brunhilde would pull someone out who was very strong

📨 He had recommened you

📨 You were giddy when he told you of your upcoming battle in Ragnarok, and he followed with a chuckle as you hugged him, thanking him for the opportunity to smash a human to bits

📨 Hermes watched next to his father as you smiled and made fun of this so called 'Luckiest Idiot in History' and he couldn't help but laugh with you

📨 His luck was immense, but he knew your 12 Shikigami could defeat him with ease

📨 Nobody had survived it yet, and nobody ever will. Unless you said they could, of course!

📨 When the round ended with your smooth victory, he relished in the happy smile you gave him and Zeus as you strolled up to where your husband was

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🪶 It was as if the whole Norse main family was fighting

🪶 Thor, Loki, Odin, and you were all set to fight in Ragnarok, and after Thor's first round, you were set for the third, before Poseidon and a random human

🪶 Odin watched as you smiled, patted your nephew and son's heads before kissing your life-long husband and preparing for battle

🪶 He knew you could handle yourself to any degree, you've fought in many wars together throughout the years

🪶 You stared at the human with sadism in your eyes while you husband glared with your son, and your nephew cheered you on loudly from the stands

🪶 Timothy Dexter? What a pathetic mortal. It made your husband's birds caw vicious words at him, causing Loki to laugh at him

🪶 Your battle was quick and sweet, only being delayed for 14 minutes because of your wish to see the human gain confidence before shattering their entire beings

🪶 It made Odin smirk sadistically as himself as the human shattered into nothing while you floating around Heimdall before returning to the comfort of his lap

[beelas-bees-art]

mothers.