#timothy dexter

[lakefoundtheirexit]

Is there a modern equivalent to the book "A Pickle For The Knowing Ones"?

For those not in the loop the book was written by a guy named Timothy Dexter who through sheer dumb luck became one of the richest people during the revolutionary era of the US. Before he died he wrote his memoir, full of incomprehensible misspelled text and a lack of punctuation, except for at the end where there's a whole dedicated section for punctuation, because, and I quote him directly:

fouder mister printer the Nowing ones complane of my book the fust edition had no stops I put in A Nuf here and thay may peper and solt it as they plese

This man was a shitposter before there was even a word for it and I think about him often

[jizzjazz123]

Timothy Dexter be like

[gergthecat]

:0

[sharknado-funko-pop]

it's 1802

going eagle for eagle with a bloke and he pulls out this shit

[yesthatsatumbler]

TFW for me by far the best/funniest part of the story is that it's the Emperor Norton bridge.

Like, yeah, I know the backstory of why it's called that. But it's just still so hilarious that a guy as ridiculous as Emperor Norton got a major transport link named after him. (Two major transport links if I understand what you're trying to describe correctly.)

Honestly the whole biography of the guy (after arrival in SF at least) is just... so very Tumblr I guess. That feels like a very fitting description.

...There should be more Tumblr stuff about Emperor Norton is what I'm saying.

(Also about Timothy Dexter. But I guess Brockton Bay Innsmouth Newburyport is a much smaller audience than San Francisco.)

I took the Emperor Norton bridge into work today and it was hilarious: there were like EIGHT cop cars parked along it.

They are clearly TERRIFIED that protesters might shut down the bridge again.

The extra funny thing is that all eight were on the Oakland-YBI span, but when protesters shut down the bridge, they shut down the YBI-San Francisco span. Presumably protesters would do that again, because it's more of a bottleneck, but the cops can hang out there: it's so much of a bottleneck that if the cops did hang out there, THEY would be impeding the flow of traffic on the bridge.

But in order to appear like they're doing something, they are guarding the wrong half of the bridge.

(of course, if protesters do close the bridge, they can be there quickly... But it'll probably be too late. You can close a bridge quick)

[starryluminary]

“John decided I didn’t have to die over an honest mistake” WHAT.

[beelas-bees-art]

forgot to ever post these from weeks back

tcoh mlp au. if you even care. sorry it's all letters huh

[moosha-mushroom]

The ex-boyfriends, collect em all!

Elias— beautiful eyes, great sense of humor, belonged to a weird institution and would always talk about the weird institution and eventually you realized he wasn’t your boyfriend at all, he was trying to get you to join his weird institution.

Timothy— aspiring fashion designer, forgot your birthday, was secretly several dozen worms in a human disguise.

Jordan— unemployed(eh), slept on the bare fucking ground, claimed he wasn’t the Ant King but then one night you followed him into the tunnels and he sat down on a makeshift throne and a bunch of ants surrounded him and he definitely said ‘I am the Ant King’.

Dexter— never paid for you, feared commitment, said his favorite movie was Widower’s Weave, but it was actually Charlotte’s Web.

I like Jordan :3

[hellish-extent]

where: gvln channel 9 who: timothy ( @kissyourselfgoodnight )

channel 9 had become his home away from home. after moving from england, he had settled in greenview and landed a host role for the tv station. he enjoyed the role, a big fish in a small pond, the new guy with the fancy english accent.

dexter was reviewing his notes for his broadcast later when he saw the bosses son walk in. "hey timothy, how's things? your dad should be finishing up in a meeting if you're looking for him"

[index-wwe-gifs]

An unconventional opponent💀

[nakeddeparture]

Sherwin Dexter Abrams, 33 - Assault on Satie and Timothy Goberdan - Got Bail - Barbados.

https://youtu.be/-g2i11JGUC0

Like/share/subscribe - ✔️🔔/comment on YouTube (it costs you nothing). WhatsApp #2527225512.

[billlaotian]

[admincendekiawanjudi]

Pada tanggal 22 Maret 2024, sebuah pertandingan yang menegangkan dalam Liga Concacaf terjadi antara Amerika Serikat dan Jamaika. Pertandingan yang berlangsung sengit ini berakhir dengan skor 3 - 1, mengukuhkan dominasi Amerika Serikat dalam kompetisi ini.

[publicdomainreview]

After complaints about Timothy Dexter's A Pickle for the Knowing Ones (1797) being entirely devoid of punctuation, in future editions the eccentric businessman supplied a supplemental page so that people “may peper and solt as they please”: https://publicdomainreview.org/collection/dexter-pickle

[bones4thecats]

heyaa can i request a hades , Poseidon , Thor , (and if you can) Buddha with a fem!tansai seikun! reader?

((this is how reader look like))

Basically the reader is a goddess of calamity , misfortune that Zeus has personally choose. To fight against humanity

How would the ror character(a.k.a the reader husband) react when she fight against like one of the humanity fighter and absolutely demolished em outta existance with her 12 shikigami with zero scratches

Like they know she was strong but they didnt expect her to be this strong and then what is the aftermath when the reader finally meet up w their hubby??

Alsp maybe can you please add a scene of like the reader just basically tormenting a God outta pure mischief whilst their husband just stare at her with the "i am awestruck , crazy in love with this sadistic woman i married" look

btw the reader is a sadistic type like the Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland type but a bit more serious

(srry if i Made too much unimportant stuff , i love your writing and honestly i just cant Refrain myself from requesting im sorry if this is alot , tyyy)

A/N: Sorry, I couldn’t think of anything for Buddha, as she fights against Humanity while he fights for Humanity. I hope you do like the parts I did write! Enjoy~~

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

You looked at your opponent, known as ‘The Luckiest Idiot In History���, you stood against Timothy Dexter, who was known for his very stupid rags-to-riches story

Lord Dexter looked at you and tipped his hat off, bidding you a good match, you just smirked a completely black smile as your empty eyes looked into his soul

“ What is your name, madam? “ “ You intend to challenge me without knowing that? Is it boldness or just disrespect? Oh well, whatever. I am Y/N, the Goddess of Calamity, reflect on the name of the one who will end you. ” “ Y/N, Goddess of Calamity. I already have. “ “ Now then, should we get started? “

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

💀 Your husband sat by his nephews, Ares and Hermes, and his youngest brother, Zeus, while you and this ‘Timothy Dexter’ prepared for battle

💀 He initially was very upset with Zeus about having you fight, what if the human Brunhilde chose could give you a hard time?

💀 But seeing how your completely black eyes lit up and how you accepted on the cost that there was a border around the people inside, knowing your power’s extent

💀 Hades watched as Timothy tilted his hat down and sent a hoard of knives towards you, and as you brushed them away with ease, they simply went around him

💀 He sat at the edge of his seat near the end, watching how no matter what attack you sent towards the human, he somehow avoided it

💀 You smirked when he landed a decent blow nearby you, and you decided to say, screw it

💀 Holding your hand up, you chanted the words;

“ 12 Shikigami, attack. “

💀 Once the final attack landed on him, you smirked and watched as he turned into green shards and faded into nothing as Humanity had a mixture of angry screams and laughs

💀 Hades looked at you as you walked back inside and you just smiled and hugged him, and all he could think as he watched you torment Loki while battles continued was;

“ What a lovely wife I have. “

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

🔱 Poseidon and you had a habit of watching humans fail things and chuckle about it, but you did it because it made you laugh and he did it because it helped feed his ego

🔱 When you were summoned for battle, Poseidon kissed your head and watched from his seat as you began to happily mess around with the attacks of Timothy Dexter’s

🔱 He looked at the human with disgust when a knife nearly hit you

🔱 Seeing you just dodge and attack the human, proving the attacks were fruitless if direct, he narrowed his eyes

🔱 Poseidon watched as you kicked and beat the Humanity Ally with your 12 Shikigami and he smirked lightly as he died slowly

🔱 Hearing the screams of celebration from the Gods annoyed him, but seeing you fly up and hug your best friend Loki and then give himself a kiss on the cheek made him pull you onto his lap to rest, you had no injuries to tend to, so why waste time?

🔱 You and your husband looked down on Humanity with different reasonings, his because of superiority, and you because of your sadism

🔱 And if he disagreed, he’s lying, he had hearts in his eyes watching you sadistically massacre the human whom he deemed ‘too annoying’ for life

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

🌩️ Thor had met you through Loki centuries ago, and now you were married and fighting to the death in Ragnarok

🌩️ He knew you could handle yourself very well, so hearing that Zeus chose you to fight made him smirk, knowing it was gonna be a very short match

🌩️ Not being fond of the human who had greeted you so teasingly is something that he definitely felt

🌩️ Staring at the human from his stance by his father and cousin, anyone could feel the tension between the Norse God of Thunder and the dubbed ‘Luckiest Idiot in History’

🌩️ Watching you fight made him itch for his match, which was set after yours

🌩️ But it distracted him when the knives and constant random attacks that Timothy sent out would nearly hit you, but seeing your smirk and begin to torment the human’s brain got him feeling butterflies

🌩️ When you were announced as the winner, he stood by the Gods’ walkway and hugged you once you made it to him

“ My bolt, I congratulate you on your battle. “ “ I cannot wait to see you fight, my love. I hope you make the human writhe in pain~ “

[beelas-bees-art]

mothers.