#timothy dexter

[lakefoundtheirexit]

Is there a modern equivalent to the book "A Pickle For The Knowing Ones"?

For those not in the loop the book was written by a guy named Timothy Dexter who through sheer dumb luck became one of the richest people during the revolutionary era of the US. Before he died he wrote his memoir, full of incomprehensible misspelled text and a lack of punctuation, except for at the end where there's a whole dedicated section for punctuation, because, and I quote him directly:

fouder mister printer the Nowing ones complane of my book the fust edition had no stops I put in A Nuf here and thay may peper and solt it as they plese

This man was a shitposter before there was even a word for it and I think about him often

[jizzjazz123]

Timothy Dexter be like

[gergthecat]

:0

[myimmortalfan666]

what if timothy dexter wrote my immortal?

[sharknado-funko-pop]

it's 1802

going eagle for eagle with a bloke and he pulls out this shit

[starryluminary]

“John decided I didn’t have to die over an honest mistake” WHAT.

[beelas-bees-art]

forgot to ever post these from weeks back

tcoh mlp au. if you even care. sorry it's all letters huh

[moosha-mushroom]

The ex-boyfriends, collect em all!

Elias— beautiful eyes, great sense of humor, belonged to a weird institution and would always talk about the weird institution and eventually you realized he wasn’t your boyfriend at all, he was trying to get you to join his weird institution.

Timothy— aspiring fashion designer, forgot your birthday, was secretly several dozen worms in a human disguise.

Jordan— unemployed(eh), slept on the bare fucking ground, claimed he wasn’t the Ant King but then one night you followed him into the tunnels and he sat down on a makeshift throne and a bunch of ants surrounded him and he definitely said ‘I am the Ant King’.

Dexter— never paid for you, feared commitment, said his favorite movie was Widower’s Weave, but it was actually Charlotte’s Web.

I like Jordan :3

[index-wwe-gifs]

An unconventional opponent💀

[billlaotian]

[admincendekiawanjudi]

Pada tanggal 22 Maret 2024, sebuah pertandingan yang menegangkan dalam Liga Concacaf terjadi antara Amerika Serikat dan Jamaika. Pertandingan yang berlangsung sengit ini berakhir dengan skor 3 - 1, mengukuhkan dominasi Amerika Serikat dalam kompetisi ini.

[publicdomainreview]

After complaints about Timothy Dexter's A Pickle for the Knowing Ones (1797) being entirely devoid of punctuation, in future editions the eccentric businessman supplied a supplemental page so that people “may peper and solt as they please”: https://publicdomainreview.org/collection/dexter-pickle

[bones4thecats]

HEYAAAA HOW ARE YOUUU , btw hi hi hiii

Uhh if this doesnt brother you can i request a indra , Loki , Hermes (and maybe Odin??) W the same thing that the lizuannn girl request , just her req but w these charas , ty and have a great monthhh

(please ignore this if you cant do it srryyyyyyyy))

A/N: Doing this was quite fun, I love writing for Odin tbh, and while he's not my favorite character, he's awesome! Anyways, enjoy~~

For Info on Req: Lizuannn's Request

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🌊 When you were called upon by Zeus, one of your oldest allies, to fight in Ragnarok, Indra was initially very persistent on you not doing this

🌊 But seeing how your opponent, Timothy Dexter, also known as the ‘Luckiest Idiot in History’, he felt a bit more at ease

🌊 Then the fight ensued and he kept, somehow, dodging and your attacks missed

🌊 Shiva and the other Hindu Gods could sense his slight nervousness from miles away, and it made them look at you with suspicion, maybe this human would be the death of you

🌊 Indra watched as you summoned your 12 Shikigami and he smirked, lightning his second cigarette with his lightning, knowing now you were getting serious

🌊 Seeing the human tranquilize and turn into shattered glass made him fully smile, knowing you were safe

🌊 Afterwards while he watched you mess around with Shiva, since he had only one arm while the others were regrowing, his joy grew

🌊 You were safe, and that's all that mattered

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🐍 He wanted to fight in Ragnarok himself

🐍 But watching you fight could suffice his urges for the moment

🐍 Once the human known as Timothy Dexter tried hitting you, his face turned from his prideful smile, to a deadly grimace

🐍 Loki did not like watching a human try harming his S/O, especially with their own attacks

🐍 He has seen you fight Gods, so he knew how powerful you were, but this human’s luck was immaculate, it even scared him!

🐍 When he saw you start getting serious, his smirk grew until he started to cackle like a psychopath

🐍 That's when everyone knew, that human was done for.

🐍 Eventually the match ended with Humanity's loss and Gods' win, and everyone on their side cheered for you, especially your husband

🐍 Loki hugged you and cooed how strong and amazing you were against that pathetic and feeble human

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📨 Hermes knew who was fighting before anyone else, as he was the Messenger of the Gods and sent out the requests for Ragnarok

📨 When he heard from his father that he needed a very strong opponent for Humanity, as he knew Brunhilde would pull someone out who was very strong

📨 He had recommened you

📨 You were giddy when he told you of your upcoming battle in Ragnarok, and he followed with a chuckle as you hugged him, thanking him for the opportunity to smash a human to bits

📨 Hermes watched next to his father as you smiled and made fun of this so called 'Luckiest Idiot in History' and he couldn't help but laugh with you

📨 His luck was immense, but he knew your 12 Shikigami could defeat him with ease

📨 Nobody had survived it yet, and nobody ever will. Unless you said they could, of course!

📨 When the round ended with your smooth victory, he relished in the happy smile you gave him and Zeus as you strolled up to where your husband was

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🪶 It was as if the whole Norse main family was fighting

🪶 Thor, Loki, Odin, and you were all set to fight in Ragnarok, and after Thor's first round, you were set for the third, before Poseidon and a random human

🪶 Odin watched as you smiled, patted your nephew and son's heads before kissing your life-long husband and preparing for battle

🪶 He knew you could handle yourself to any degree, you've fought in many wars together throughout the years

🪶 You stared at the human with sadism in your eyes while you husband glared with your son, and your nephew cheered you on loudly from the stands

🪶 Timothy Dexter? What a pathetic mortal. It made your husband's birds caw vicious words at him, causing Loki to laugh at him

🪶 Your battle was quick and sweet, only being delayed for 14 minutes because of your wish to see the human gain confidence before shattering their entire beings

🪶 It made Odin smirk sadistically as himself as the human shattered into nothing while you floating around Heimdall before returning to the comfort of his lap

[nugsters]

Brother's joke OC I illustrated as a part of his birthday gift. Basically a bootleg fem!Deku fused with Timothy Dexter. I'm only gonna use her as a gag character since her useless quirk is... Useless. Every character would roll her into a ball she's so weak-

[choke2sleep]

😴 sleeeep Read 👇🏼

Dexter Lumis - Master of the sleeper

Finishing move: Silencer (seated anaconda vise sleeper)

Picture 1 - Austin Theory sleeps next to Lumis after Lumis put him to sleep.

Picture 2 - Austin Theory sleeps in Lumis’ lap after Lumis put him to sleep.

Picture 3 - Timothy Thatcher sleeps in Lumis’ lap after Lumis put him to sleep.

Picture 4 - Cameron Grimes sleeping.

Picture 5 - Miz is sleeping deeply in Lumis’s lap after he put him to sleep.

Picture 6 - Lumis carrys Miz over his shoulder to the locker rooms after putting him to sleep.

Dexter Lumis (formerly Samuel Shaw) is a true master of the sleeper. He has put just about every wrestler on the roster to sleep. Each of his victims ends up sleeping very deeply.

[scrunkly-week]

the character graveyard — a creator's lament

a wall of snow keeps you hidden, it's true.

my hands tainted. I buried you all myself.

some of you live, just barely, breathing through a straw in your graves. an illusion of existence.

some of you never had the chance. your lives extinguished before you could fully form.

massacre.

your god has not forsaken you, I plead.

though I am god and she is merciless. by circumstance, not design.

I come to acknowledge you. you forgotten ones, the ones I hid, the ones who died by my hand and the ones who fizzled from existence before I could reach them. I gather you here today. to recognise you. mourn you. immortalise you.

I raise my chalice to each of you.

here's to the faceless ones. the ones I never named. the ones who had nothing but a name. a vibe. a role. a disembodied something. you hadn't enough love or care. I'm sorry.

here's to the fleeting ones. ones who existed in passing. to assist another's narrative. to enhance the world.

lindsay, erin bray, lynn clerke, jarrod holman. alli, nicole, cam, daniel, alisha. javin daxar, ellin daxar, dalen daxar, damon daxar, kara quillan, zaiden. daron ferris, charlie reid. lennard rose, elisabeth rose, elli. deyan thomson. lucia. sophie, caleb. jeremiah, chris, lukas, troy jackson, zach, linda, mr. woods. kere lockhart. aric jeweller. andrea, stefano. reece, john, demetrius rodriquez, seth reeves. aria, aaron, william, matthew, gaeldon, jonah. julia. sigrae, cassirean, king pyrest of emberia, hakan. dayell, carr kepnar. conrad, mr. stevens, steph, lilian maxwell, evie, vida, erica, david, olivia, andrew, dexter badd, marianne, charles wickham, katherine wickham, james wickham, raiden, calvin, darlene. therese matton, henri matton, geneve matton, madeline matton, mathieu matton, talon debois, lloyd hawthorne. morgan hawksley, aaron hawksley, marcus walters, cassidy donaldson. evan callaghan, mildred callaghan. arthur drover, sybilla drover, harriet drover, vera dustinborough, victoria darkwood, bethly violet, eliphalet lushington, emma. erysibe, kirkos. guiletta lanese, donato lanese, ottavio lanese, benedetto lanese, pietro lanese, vincenzo lanese, matteo lanese, annetta fornari, stefano fornari, adriana fornari, carlo fornari, francesco fornari, augusto fornari, adele sozzi, bettina aliotti, ciro, salvatore sallucci. edmond wickerman, rosalind wickerman, elias starling, hubert cornell.

here's to the strange ones. the 'I made you just because' ones.

scalene, nikia goodrich, ami ruff, riesa gentry and co., zachary bliss, janae lombardi, dawn watts, jay spear, lea cantrell, danny light. cardinal, scar. harmony/chaos. leighton, josh. nick joyce, rosalinda joyce, jasper joyce. emilee, ashli, nadine kathy hemingway.

here's to the old ones. the ones I left behind as I myself grew older.

timothy, kimberly, ash, connor. zoe. gabey mal'lie. raina hardin. zariah mika rose. karli hayes, shaun roberts. bella davis. milaa lockhart. mabel. queen heresa. tāne miller. victor.

here's to the ones who never reached anything past the development stage.

iris. olive. phoenix mars, rose earthen, gem airborne, luna moonbeam, leon king, mattias grey, venus greenwood, scarlet rust, sage bluest, amalthea browner, rialta silverton, jupiter violet. princess seraphine of emberia. the assassin, prophet, serenity. valentino, theokles, fabiola fornari, blair aiden hawksley, james robert callaghan, ruby starling.

here's to the ones I invested my time in, who I write one or two prose pieces and umpteen handfuls of rambles for, only to leave you by the wayside to crumble to dust.

vivian edwards, lucille matton, luciana lanese, alaric joseph drover, alexander wickerman, jinx the kea, hamid, sahar.

here's to my future creations, who may inevitably fall under one of these categories.

the wall of snow may keep you hidden. but I promise, you'll never be forgotten.

Submitted by: our lovely friend, Bee

———

☆ this is hauntingly sweet and I utterly love it !! What a good way to pay your respects to all of these characters <3 I raise my chalice alongside you, to toast to their lives