#time to see if my girl benny gets a single vote

[tea-earl-grey]

tagged by @lostyesterday (thanks for the tag!)

Rules: make a poll with five of your all-time favorite characters and then tag five people to do the same. see which character is everyone’s favorite.

hard to pick just five but here we are! tried to include at least one non-Star Trek/Doctor Who character.

tagging (but no pressure!): @wwillywonka @gotyouanyway @triptucker @allthoseotherworlds @prettylittlelifeforms

[lovesongbracket]

Reminder: Vote based on the song, not the artist or specific recording! The tracks referenced are the original artist, aside from a few rare cases where a cover is the most widely known.

Lyrics, videos, info, and notable covers under the cut. (Spotify playlist available in pinned post)

Teenage Dream

Written By: Bonnie McKee, benny blanco, Max Martin, Dr. Luke & Katy Perry

Artist: Katy Perry

Released: 2010

Cover included: Darren Criss & ensemble for Glee, 2011

“Teenage Dream” was released as the second single from Perry’s studio album of the same name. The song became Perry’s second number one Hot 100 single from the album, following the number one peak of the previous single, “California Girls”. While discussing “Teenage Dream,” Katy said that the song is about recapturing the dizzying, thrilling feeling of first love. “When you’re growing up and you’re falling in love for the first time, it’s such an amazing feeling that sometimes you can’t recycle again later on in your life. For me, being in love again now, it’s kind of the same feeling.” In 2018, NPR ranked this as the #63 greatest song by a female or nonbinary artist in the 21st century, saying: “While this era’s faux-woke, grill-sporting Katy Perry has taken a nosedive into a cyclone of dystopian kitsch, there was a time when her appeal was simple: Her nostalgic pop singles were silky and pristine, like a soft swirl of vanilla ice cream. At a time when pop can feel overstuffed with spectacle — multi-artist guest features, visual drops, strategically planned Twitter beef — listening to ‘Teenage Dream’ provokes wistful reconsideration of a classic formula, one whose subtlety and nuance can be easily overlooked. The song is a blissful memory encased in glass: ‘We can dance until we die / you and I,’ Perry sings, promising to stretch the ephemeral. The beauty is in stasis, sealed with a declaration: ‘We’ll be young forever.’”

[Verse 1] You think I'm pretty without any makeup on You think I'm funny when I tell the punch line wrong I know you get me, so I let my walls come down, down Before you met me, I was alright But things were kinda heavy, you brought me to life Now every February, you'll be my Valentine, Valentine [Pre-Chorus] Let's go all the way tonight No regrets, just love We can dance until we die You and I, we'll be young forever [Chorus] You make me feel like I'm livin' a teenage dream The way you turn me on, I can't sleep Let's run away and don't ever look back Don't ever look back My heart stops when you look at me Just one touch, now, baby, I believe This is real, so take a chance and don't ever look back Don't ever look back [Verse 2] We drove to Cali and got drunk on the beach Got a motel and built a fort out of sheets I finally found you, my missing puzzle piece, I'm complete [Pre-Chorus] Let's go all the way tonight No regrets, just love We can dance until we die You and I, we'll be young forever [Chorus] You make me feel like I'm livin' a teenage dream The way you turn me on, I can't sleep Let's run away and don't ever look back Don't ever look back My heart stops when you look at me Just one touch, now, baby, I believe This is real, so take a chance and don't ever look back Don't ever look back [Bridge] I'ma get your heart racing in my skin-tight jeans Be your teenage dream tonight Let you put your hands on me in my skin-tight jeans Be your teenage dream tonight (Tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight) [Chorus] (You make me) You make me feel like I'm livin' a teenage dream The way you turn me on, I can't sleep Let's run away and don't ever look back Don't ever look back (No) My heart stops when you look at me Just one touch, now, baby, I believe This is real (Oh), so take a chance and don't ever look back Don't ever look back [Outro] I'ma get your heart racing in my skin-tight jeans Be your teenage dream tonight Let you put your hands on me in my skin-tight jeans Be your teenage dream tonight (Tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight)

I See the Light

Written By: Glenn Slater & Alan Menken

Artist: Mandy Moore & Zachary Levi for Tangled

Released: 2010

“I See the Light” is a romantic duet in Tangled between Rapunzel and Eugene. It is sung when Rapunzel is finally achieving her lifelong dream to see the floating lanterns. The song was nominated for best song at the 83rd academy awards but lost to “We Belong Together” from Toy Story 3. “I See The Light” was originally called “You Are My Forever,” and was a reprise of a song Mother Gothel sung to Rapunzel, before being removed. After “You Are My Forever” was removed, the song was still different from what it was in the finished film. It was an anthem-like song at first but Alan Menken decided it should be more gentle.

[RAPUNZEL] All those days watching from the windows All those years outside looking in All that time never even knowing Just how blind I've been Now I'm here blinking in the starlight Now I'm here suddenly I see Standing here it's all so clear I'm where I'm meant to be And at last I see the light And it's like the fog has lifted And at last I see the light And it's like the sky is new And it's warm and real and bright And the world has somehow shifted All at once everything looks different Now that I see you [FLYNN] All those days chasing down a daydream All those years living in a blur All that time never truly seeing Things, the way they were Now she's here shining in the starlight Now she's here suddenly I know If she's here it's crystal clear I'm where I'm meant to go [FLYNN & RAPUNZEL] And at last I see the light [FLYNN] And it's like the fog has lifted [FLYNN & RAPUNZEL] And at last I see the light [RAPUNZEL] And it's like the sky is new [FLYNN & RAPUNZEL] And it's warm and real and bright And the world has somehow shifted All at once everything is different Now that I see you Now that I see you

[deancasbigbang]

Title: The Incredible Sinking Novak

Author: FriendofCarlotta

Artist: CJ

Rating: Explicit

Pairings: Cas/Dean, Sam/Jess, minor Charlie/Meg, past Cas/Amelia, past Cas/OMC, past Dean/Lisa, background Benny/Andrea, background Garth/Bess

Length: 61808

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Panic Attacks

Tags: Modern AU, Inspired by Gilmore Girls, Kid Fic, Single Parents, Bottom Cas/Top Dean With Implied Switching, Fluff, Romantic Comedy

Posting Date: October 13, 2021

Summary: When Castiel Novak’s wife dies, he buries himself in work and lets his formidable mother take charge of his daughter Claire’s care. Two years later, he realizes Claire has become a stranger to him and takes her on a road trip so they can reconnect. They wash up in the small town of Lebanon, whose quirky residents include Charlie Bradbury, a sculptor with a vendetta against the town’s mayor; Bobby Singer, a grumpy antiques dealer; and Garth Fitzgerald, the town’s mailman, go-to babysitter and general jack-of-all-trades. But most importantly, there’s Dean Winchester, the handsome owner of the local diner and also a single father.  As time passes and Lebanon becomes home, Castiel realizes he and Claire may have another chance to be part of a family.

Excerpt: When Claire and Castiel reach the town square, they find at least twenty people gathered in front of the gazebo. At the center of the crowd stands an older man in a knitted sweater, his white hair in a state of advanced disarray.    “What I mean to say is, it’s obscene!” he says, gesturing emphatically in the direction of the gazebo. “It shouldn’t be allowed!”   Castiel briefly considers that perhaps he should steer Claire away from whatever commotion is going on, especially if it really does meet the definition of “obscene.” But Claire says, “Oh! Let’s go see what’s happening!” and drags him along, and Castiel is admittedly curious too. The fact that he’s spotted Dean and Jack at the outskirts of the crowd, and that Dean is trying and clearly failing to hold back a grin, has nothing at all to do with his decision to investigate further.   “What’s going on?” Castiel asks when they arrive next to Dean.   “Oh, hey, Cas and Claire!” Dean looks genuinely happy to see them again, and Castiel’s heart flutters in his chest like an overexcited hummingbird. “You’re just in time for the most interesting thing to happen all week.”   “Somebody put a statue of a naked lady in the gazebo, and Donatello doesn’t like it,” Jack explains solemnly.   “Why not?” Claire asks.   “That’s a very good question,” Dean says, matching Jack’s solemn tone. To Castiel, he adds, “Donatello is our mayor. He’s kind of grumpy, but he really likes being mayor, so we haven’t had the heart to vote him out.”   A tall, skinny man shuffles up to Castiel’s other side. “This is the third time the statue’s turned up someplace around town. Donatello keeps getting rid of it, and it keeps showing up again,” he says. “It’s quite the mystery.” The man holds out his hand to shake. “Garth’s the name. Are you new in town?”   “Castiel, and I’m just passing through. This is my daughter Claire,” Castiel says, shaking hands. “So nobody knows where the statue came from?”   “Oh no,” Dean says. “We all know. We just don’t tell Donatello, because it’s more fun that way.”   At the center of the gazebo, the man Castiel assumes to be Donatello is now engaged in a spirited argument with Sam, who is throwing around phrases such as “artistic freedom” and “the slippery slope of censorship.”   A woman with bobbed red hair and a Star Wars t-shirt walks up behind them, greeting Dean with a one-armed hug. “How long have Donatello and Sam been going at it?”    Dean screws up his face into a thoughtful grimace. “They’ve gotten around to ‘think of the property values, Sam’ but they’re not at ‘freedom of expression is guaranteed by the Constitution, Donatello’ yet.”   “Oh goodie.” The woman rubs her hands gleefully. “Still got a few minutes till Sam gives up and storms off.”

DCBB 2021 Posting Schedule

[eurosong]

Undo my ESC '21 (semi-final two)

Good afternoon folks, and welcome to the second part of Undo my ESC – my annual quest to make the year’s Eurovision better (at least, for me xD) by making a feasible change in each country – it could be something as small as altering a lyric or a staging detail, or as big as a different artist entirely winning the NF. Semi-final one was here so let's jump straight into SF2!

🇸🇲 San Marino: We're thrown into the deep end here with a fan fav that doesn't do at all for me. I'm one of maybe 5 people on the planet who prefers Freaky by far, I guess? I'm happy for Senhit to be getting so much love and for the diminutive serene republic to finally have a shot at a good result - but I'm not so keen on the way it's been done. There's a bit of cognitive dissonance for me because my favourite thing about Adrenalina is Flo Rida's rap, but I don't like the idea of bringing in famed American artists like "ringers" to elevate a song above one with "only" local talent. I would be so tempted to give the rap part to local artist IROL instead to spit some hot bars in Italian.

🇪🇪 Estonia: I had hope this year, I really did, for my era of absolutely adoring Estonia at ESC to be revived after 4 painful years. There were so many good songs at this year's Eesti Laul, like those of Ivo Linna, Egert, Gram of fun, Heleza - but ultimately, my huge favourite was, as expected, Jüri Pootsmann. Anyone who followed this blog back in 2016 knows how much I adore Jüri and was desperate to see him get a redemption arc at ESC itself. Magus melanhoolia was one of the best songs of the season for me and one of the best stagings. As much as I prefer '20 artists to get their shot in '21, problematic Uku with his toxic ex vibes song will have to step aside and let the Jüri renaissance happen here.

🇨🇿 Czechia: I really dig Benny Cristo - he has personality, presence and his own enjoyable style. At first I was kinda disappointed with Omaga because I was expecting something more in the vein of Kemama, with more pronounced Afrobeat influences. But it has grown on me a lot too. My change? Add more Czech than just one blink-and-you-miss-it line, mate! (Article continues below)

🇬🇷 Greece: I see this being talked up as potential televote top 3 and I just don't get it. Maybe it's the way the chorus rhymes dance with itself three times (and uses the term rockin' romance unironically); maybe it's the way that there are better 80s-inspired songs both in ESC and many fallen tributes in the NF season... it just leaves me cold. I actually preferred Supergirl and my change would be for Stefania to bring something with some actual Greek flair.

🇦🇹 Austria: I’ll echo what I said last year about Österreich – how did they go from Conchita to a guy who wished he wouldn’t have gay kids like this? I find both of this guy's songs insipid in different ways and I would invite Pænda back instead to avenge her getting robbed with the beautiful Limits. Or give a second shot at glory to the incredible Cesár!

🇵🇱 Poland: Unpopular opinion, but I absolutely love The Ride, and I feel bad for Alicja, but I much prefer it to Empires. What started as an ironic fondness for Rafał's cringy uncle vibes ended up being genuine appreciation - it's one of the few 80s-inspired songs that sound like they actually could have come out of that decade rather than like modern pastiches. And Raf actually does have an awkward charisma. My change - insert some Polish! Poland does so well with natural sounding bilingual efforts in JESC, they should bring it to the main contest too!

🇲🇩 Moldova: I was lowkey prepared to be disappointed by Moldova - I actually enjoyed Prison a lot and the news that they were going in a completely different direction didn't sit so well with me. And yet, I also love Sugar. Natalia's power! My changes: get rid of that weird scene with literally egg on her face - too on the nose for me. And incorporate a bit of the stellar Russian translation, Tuz bubi, because I'm always going to be advocating for more linguistic diversity xD

🇮🇸 Iceland: Daði Freyr can literally do no wrong with me. Whilst it doesn't have the same intense extra-fandom hype that Think about things did, I think I like Ten years even more. Nothing to change here.

🇷🇸 Serbia: It's no secret that Hurricane were far from my favourites at Beovizija 20, and that I find this a downgrade for Sanja compared to her powerful '16 song. And yet... Hasta la vista grew on me a lot, and so has Loco loco. It's something that is definitely scratching an itch at this year's ESC and the burst of anarchic energy it'll provide will be amazing. I am seriously tempted to change to the acoustic version, though, which has all the attitude of the original but is more beautiful for me and lets the girls' voices shine more.

🇬🇪 Georgia: Georgia keeps serving acquired tastes, and as a patron saint of marginal genres and I love them for that. This year, they've gone for something that even many fans of Tornike find hard to swallow - gone is the roaring rock of last year, replaced with a much more contemplative, soft effort that reminds me a little of Lou Reed. I enjoy both songs, but I can't deny preferring 2020. At the same time, I admire the chutzpah required to send something so different. I just wish there could be a moment to properly showcase T's powerhouse vocals.

🇦🇱 Albania: It was an odd Festival i këngës this year, outdoors in the freezing cold and without the orchestra that makes the songs soar so much more for me. Karma is a perfectly respectable winner, albeit one that lacks the immediacy and rawness of Shaj, Ktheju tokës and Mall. In my ideal alternate reälity, Arilena Ara would have been invited back. She'd bring a song as beautiful as Shaj - and not do a revamp into English that removes its edge this time.

🇵🇹 Portugal: 2015-2020 was a full on Portugal stan era for me. I want to believe that this year is an aberration and that in 2022, our lusitanian neighbours will produce the goods once again. Because ending a colossal streak of not sending songs that don't include Portuguese for this? I am baffled. I wanted the anthemic Joana do mar, produced beautifully by Luísa Sobral, or the timeless Contramão, which sounds like it escaped a Nouvelle Vague soundtrack. Saudade, Por um triz or a number of others would have been grand too.

🇧🇬 Bulgaria: I wasn't expecting much from Bulgaria - I really didn't and don't like TGS and the majority of songs in Victoria's NF-but-not-really aren't my cup of tea. I was happy she got her second chance, but resigned to not liking the song much that would get picked. And then, my fav, which was last in many community ratings, ended up being her pick. I adore GUIGO and believe it has the possibility to do very, very well at Rotterdam and be one of the 'moments' of the evening.

🇫🇮 Finland: CRIMINAL how YLE treated Aksel - it felt like he wasn't the defending champion, and that Erika Vikman had won the previous year. They also - I believe, deliberately - split his vote by making his just one of a number of ballads, so of course what stood out most were the two decidedly non-ballady songs. Finland only two years ago had a single-artist UMK. They could and should have brought it back for Aksel. I'd hope Hurt would win it, because that song is stunning.

🇱🇻 Latvia: I was, and am, delighted that Latvia stuck with Samanta Tina. The lady lives and breathes ESC, even wrote a university thesis about it, and if she tried so many times, finally won and then DIDN'T get to go to ESC, I would have gone to LTV headquarters personally to remonstrate. I really like both her songs. The moon is rising is poised, powerful and like nothing else this year. The only thing I'd change is adding some Latvian because it's a gorgeous language and we've been waiting for ages to hear it again.

🇨🇭 Switzerland: Gjon's song is once again not really my cup of tea, or tears - but I enjoy it better than last year's and I'm glad he's back. Highkey wish it did include Albanian or Romansch like confused commenters last year thought it did.

🇩🇰 Denmark: There is literally no excuse for Denmark's treatment of Ben & Tan. I'm not even a big fan of their music at all, out to not even allow them to compete in DMGP to defend their win with Iron heart? Even though there are songs that competed in DMGP that I prefer a lot, most notably Står lige her, I would probably have let them have a proper second chance.

And the automatic qualifiers voting in this semi -

🇫🇷 France: For me, France had an absolutely enthralling, sincere, perfectly Gallic entry that hit me so hard in the feels. And whilst I respect Voilà, no, that wasn't it. It was Pourvu qu'on m'aime, easily one of the best songs I heard all year inside NFs or out. I find Voilà a little too mannered and affected, whilst PQM is a shot straight from Juliette's heart into mine. In my dream, it'd have won CVQD and be receiving the same love that Voilà is right now.

🇪🇸 Spain: Whilst it is getting next to no love in the fandom and seems quite forgotten, I find Voy a quedarme one of the best songs sent from this country in several years - and I say that having preferred Memoria. I am proud of Blas and love that he had a hand in writing this song. My change? He said recently that the staging in Rotterdam won't be inspired by the poignant music video despite wanting it to be - I would incorporate elements from it in the live.

🇬🇧 United Kingdom: Frankly, I think almost all the Big 5+1 brought it this year, with the notable exception of Germany. Embers is the banger that I never thought was coming from James Newman, and it's been one of the biggest earworms of the season. I wouldn't change anything about it - I'd just ensure that the staging replicated the energy of the video as much as possible!

[gaymer-hag-stan]

Just like I did for the first semi final, here's a more in-depth "review" of my favourites from yesterday that no one asked for

My 1 point goes to Finland

The song is fun. The whole vibe I've getting is a bit... Juvenile... If I'm being honest but I don't mind if that much.

My 2 points go to Latvia

Okay so Samanta's performance yesterday wasn't it but the song is still interesting nevertheless.

My 3 points go to Albania

I love her stage presence. Also Albania retains the trend of sending women with really amazing vocals so I can't help but stan.

My 4 points go to Denmark

Okay, I liked this song but I don't understand the outrage over it not qualifying? Like, it's good but no it wasn't robbed or anything. The only unfair disqualification this year was Croatia's and that's that.

My 5 points go to Iceland

I love how Iceland is consistently weird but in a charming way. I'm glad this is in the finals but odds predict it might be in the top 5 and I'm like... Yeah no.

My 6 points go to the Czech Republic

I love Benny's energy both on and off stage and he's really pretty but his performance was not that good unfortunately. Even though I voted for him I can see why he didn't make it. Still sad though.

My 7 points go to Greece

Okay so... I like the song. Yeah it's basic but it's fun. Now... Stefania's performance... The green screen thing was so stupid. I'm first hand embarassed. Her delivery too was not good. The stone cold face that screams "Western Europe" ain't gonna cut it sweetie. I get that she might have been nervous but then again she always looks like she's lost or uninterested so yeah... I'm not happy with the performance or the white girl dancing and I honestly wouldn't have cared if she didn't make it. Ever since 2018 most Greeks pretend Greece doesn't compete and we focus on Cyprus anyway so... 7 points is still me being waaaaay too nice!

My 8 points go to Serbia

At first I was worried the song wasn't gonna be as good as their much catchier Hasta la vista from last year but the girls KILLED it. Voted for them too. Good job Hurricane.

My 10 points go to San Marino

I loved every single thing about Senhit (andFloRida's) performance! She is Queen. Period. Voted for her too.

Finally, my 12 points go to Moldova

I voted ten fucking times for Sugar and I regret none of them. Yes the performance was not tier but the song and Natalia's energy is so amazing. I don't care if you hoes are mad because your underwhelming faves didn't make it, Sugar is a pure Eurovision song and it screams 00s, a.k.a. objectively the best Eurovision period so sit down and be quiet.

Natalia Gordienko supremacy

[the-fiction-witch]

I Don’t Need Your Help

TV SHOW: THE QUEENS GAMBIT COUPLE: BENNY X READER RATING: FLUFFY + DARK AND SAD

Writers notes: Benny doesn’t have a backstory! so I made him one with a little help from  ThomaSkandar_Kay on Wattpad who gave me the concept for this and I just kinda ran with it giving Benny watts a sad, tragic, and explaining backstory. Netflix if you would like to steal it for season two. then feel free

I hurried away from the busy new york streets with the few things I had gathered from the trash cans and such like. Huddling myself into the alleyway wrapping my body with as many blankets as I could try to huddle away from the rain. As the ice-cold rain dripped down from the tall new york roofs. The cold wind whistled through the alley as water built up and the sky grew dark.

"Hey beautiful, what's the matter?" A man smirked coming close to me 

"Leave me alone" I sighed 

"Awww come on beautiful. Just a little smile for me" he smirked 

"Lay off me creep!" I complained 

"Ohh come, come now I was just giving you a compliment thought a little thing like you'd fancy a little sugar" he smirked grabbing my arms 

"Get off me!" I screamed 

"Hey!" A voice yelled "she said to get off" I looked and saw someone else pulling this man off me "go on. Take a hike" he warned him pushing him away. "Hey? Are you alright little lady?" I looked seeing a man knelt close to me in a long black jacket and a hat he had a speaking of facial hair and sweet brown eyes 

“Leave me alone,” I told him huddling myself away

“Do you… live out here?” He asked

“None of your business” I answered

“But they said they’ll be frost tonight and snow in the morning, you can’t stay out here all night you’ll freeze to death,” he says “Look… My apartment isn’t far from here, it’s not so much but it’s warm and will keep you out the snow and rain” he explained 

“I don’t need your help,” I told him 

“Yes you do,” He says “Will you please just come with me?”

“I expect you’ll be wanting something in return,” I said “Well I haven’t got any money and don’t think you’re getting anything else,” I told him 

“I don’t want money, or anything else. I just want to help” He explained “So? Will you come with me?”

“Fine,” I sighed. I did want to be out in the cold so I packed my things up and followed him through the busy new york streets till we reached a little basement apartment. He leads me inside the place, it was almost two rooms a bedroom with huge glass windows, a small kitchen space by the walls, some chairs around a table where a chess board sat, some odd sofa looking things, around a coffee table, a shower in the corner, and a small toilet room in the corner. 

“I did say it wasn’t much,” he says sorting his stuff “But it’s better than out there”

“Where will I sleep?” I asked “There’s no sofa”

“I did say living room,” he says going to his bedroom a moment and returning to the living room unfolding an airbed and starting to pump it up with his foot 

“You’re being very nice to me”

“Well I didn’t want you outside in the snow, with all those horrible people” he explained 

“Boys never give anything without wanting something in return,” I said

“Look, can you accept my help? Or you can go out into the snow and rain and bastard people out there” He explained “here, get yourself sorted”

He went off to his table sorting things out, so I organized what little I had 

“I uhh I don’t even know your name”

“Benny, Benny Watts” He says fiddling with the chessboard “You are?”

“Y/n,” I said

“Y/n what?”

“I don’t know” I answered “Just y/n,”

“Alright then just y/n,” he says 

“So what exactly do you do?” I asked sorting my blankets onto the bed he made for me

“I play chess,” he says

“I’m sorry?” I asked

“I play chess” He repeats so I got up and sat at the table looking at his chessboard even if I was still shivering 

“I mean like for a living?”

“Yeah, I play chess for a living”

“Ohh I didn’t know that was a job” 

“Most people don’t,” He says

“How much do you make then? From chess?” I asked

“Depends,”

“On what?”

“On the tournament, some things you win a few hundred. Sometimes a few thousand”

“You live off chess money?”

“Yeah,”

“I don’t think I’ve ever played chess before,” I said going to touch a piece but my shivers wouldn’t allow me to pick it up 

“Coffee?” he asks “To warm you up?” 

“Yeah But I uhh I’ll make it,” I told him getting up and going to his kitchen and starting to try and make coffee put I kept dropping the spoon, the cups, everything I could drop with my shivers I did

“Hey its okay I’ll do it” he says taking over from me “Your really cold” He laughs putting a hand on my arm “Holy shit your frozen,” He says “Go lay down,” He says so I did as he asked laying on the airbed with all my blankets still shivering He came over with a little box from his bathroom digging around a moment before he got out a small thermometer making me put it in my mouth a moment before he took it away and ready it “Apparently your dead,” He says “Or my thermometer is broken?”

“I vote thermometer broken” 

“Yeah I know what you vote,” he says “take your clothes off” 

“What! The hell kinda girl do you think I am!”

“Your clothes are soaking wet, you stay in them you’re only going to shiver more. And you’ll catch a cold” he says 

“Fine” I sighed taking my clothes off under my blankets but It didn’t help my shivers he took my clothes and put them in his washing machine and returning to me with coffee

“Drink you’ll feel better,” He says 

“I don’t need your help”

“Yes you do” He laughed “You don’t accept my help you’re going to free to death”

“I can die, I’m a random woman you picked up off the street and brought into your home I die your gonna get arrested” 

“Why would I be arrested?”

“They’ll think you murdered me,” I said “They’ll think you’re a serial killer. Or a serial rapist”

“How do you know I’m not?”

“What?”

“I picked you up off the street and brought you to my apartment. You didn’t even know my name. Hell, I could have lied and given you a fake name for all you know, I could be a serial killer? Or a rapist? Or worse”

“Worse?”

“I could be a single guy looking for a wife?” he smirked 

“That’s true, that’s much worse” I giggled

“You don’t know anything about me, you don’t know I won’t hurt you?”

“I don’t think so, you don’t have the… vibe the air that bad people do” I explained “Plus if you were a serial rapist you would have done it already” 

“Maybe I’m a slow killer?”

“Maybe you’re a bad killer?”

“Are you still cold?” he asks and I nodded “I’ll get you some more blankets?” he says getting up and going to his room 

“Why did you help me?” I asked, “In the alley?”

“I heard you scream, he was being a dick” he answered

“He was, but you didn’t have to help me. Hundreds of New Yorkers wonder by that sort of thing every day” I explain “I’ve seen people walk past me every day of my life. I’ve seen people look me right in the eye and keep walking, I’ve seen people talking about me like I’m not even there, Like I’m not human, Like I’m a rat” 

“I don’t think you're a rat y/n,” he says coming over with some blankets, “I think… you’re a girl, that’s just been dealt a harsher hand in life than other people. But people don’t often look at people below them far to busy trying to look up to the people they want to be to see the people they tread over” He explained 

“You’re nicer. Then most people” I smiled 

“I’m not most people” he shrugs putting his hand on my blankets “They are soaked! No wonder your cold,” he says taking my blankets away from me and wrapping the ones he had around me before anything off me was exposed 

“Thank you benny”

“Your welcome, now you warm yourself up,” he says “Did you fancy a bath? Or a warm shower? While your clothes are washing?” 

“A bath, Please” I smiled 

“Alright, how hot do you like it?” he asks going to the shower in the corner setting it up for a bath 

“As hot as hell please” I smiled

“Well I’m not sure I can promise hell, these taps aren’t great but, I’ll get it nice a toasty for you,” he says kneeling on the floor turning on the tap “Ice, ice, ice, ice…. Ahh fuck! Boiling,” he says as he moved the taps making me giggle “Bubbles?” he asked and I nodded blushing a little even with my shivers By the time the bath was done with a little layer of bubbles he stopped the taps “I’ll go”

“Why?” I asked

“I barely know you,” he says taking his board and going into his bedroom. I sat a moment listening to the whirr of the washing machine, the patterning of the snow and rain outside, I slipped the blankets off me leaving the warm dry blankets he gave me onto my bed replacing my old wet ones, slipping what has left off my clothes off and climbing into the warm water the bubbles almost all disappointing as I sat there my legs pulled tight to my chest I scrubbed my skin until it was red raw and my body had a new layer of skin, I could see I looked different like a whole new person soon enough the water began to cool so I climbed out wrapping myself up in the dark green towel I went to the washing machine but it still had a good while on it so I went to the closed bedroom door 

“Uhh benny, what should I do for clothes? Till mine are done?” I asked tapping the glass 

“Ohh uhh… here,” he says opening the door for me digging around a moment before sitting a few things on his bed “You can get changed in my bedroom,” he says quickly leaving to do something else I’m not sure what I slipped the clothes on, it wasn’t much a little pair of shorts and a black T-shirt but it was clean and war and that’s all I cared about I went back out seeing her had put my blankets in the tumble dryer so they were all warm and soft I went sitting on my bed and he came wrapping my blankets around me as well as a new cup of coffee “You’re not shivering?”

“I feel nice a toasty” I smiled 

“Good,” he smiled, “I’m off to bed okay, I’m just on the other side of that door you need me okay?”

“Okay” I nodded 

“Good girl get some sleep,” he says tapping my hand 

“Benny?” I asked before he got up

“Yeah?”

I smiled moving giving his lips a little kiss “Thank you, for everything” 

“You’re welcome,” He says, kissing my head before he went off to his room again, almost shutting the door leaving it open a crack, I sipped the coffee and huddled up in the warm covers, this apartment wasn’t much, it wasn’t Buckingham palace but to me it was heaven. 

It was warm, well sort of. It was dry, Mostly. It wasn’t rainy, it wasn’t windy, I was warm and cosy with blankets and a mattress even if it was only an air mattress and I felt… safe. It was so strange I met Benny only a few hours ago but I felt so safe with him like he would never dream of hurting me. I was in his house, I was naked, I owed him, he could have taken advantage of the situation, of me but he didn’t, he didn’t even look at me like he wanted to. I was in his living room, In his clothes, his blankets, He was taking such good care of me. 

I waited a little while before I stood and went over to the door to his bedroom. I hovered there a moment listening to the little noises inside slightly pushing open the door making him look up from a chessboard “Hi, you okay?” he asks moving a flowery robe around him a little tighter to cover himself up 

“I can’t sleep”

“Are you still cold?”

“No, I can’t turn my brain off”

“Yeah, I know how you feel”

“Could I sit? And Watch you?”

“Watch me what?”

“Play, Chess I mean” I blushed to realize how odd my request sounded

“Ohh sure” He nods patting the bed beside him so I moved sitting next to him with my blankets still around me I smiled a little moving my blanket around his legs a little “Thanks y/n”

“Your welcome” I smiled He smiled a little moving my blanket I had around my shoulders around his own too so I moved a little closer and rested my head on his boney strong shoulder the soft warm slightly lavender-scented robe against my skin as I sat watching him play against himself, I noticed too his scent. The lavender was no bout from the robe likely laundry detergent or something, his skin smell like soap, his neck a little off some kind of aftershave I didn’t know what, his hair kinda smelt strawberries all of which made me nuzzle a little closer to him 

“Comfy?” he asks

“Umm… you smell nice”

“Uhh… thank you?” he says a little puzzled 

“What are you doing?” I asked

He then explained something to me and I think I got like two words in it “It’s a chess play y/n”

“Ohh I see,” I nodded, sitting and watching him for a while “Benny?”

“Uumm?” He asks as he was clearly focused

“Why are you nice to me? Why did you do all this for me? I mean you just picked me off the street I could be a drug addict, a murder, a prostitute, I could be anything but your taking such good care of me… why?”

“Because… people called me a rat once too”

“What?” I asked

“I was like you y/n when I was not much older then you either,” He says “I know how it feels to be the bottom of everyone else”

“What happened to you?” I asked

“You really wanna know?” he asks, I nodded. He sighed and packed the board away tucking the blankets around us more as we leant on the wall cosied up together, “My parents… both died.”

“How did they die?”

“Mugging, in an alley right here in new york. He shot them both, Orphanage was full, so I just kinda… roamed a while” He explained “Ended up on the streets for a good while, too young to work, too old for anyone to care, I remember what it was like. Being called a rat, getting looked at from the streets like a piece of shit on the side of the road, fighting for food and places to sleep with drug addicts and vagrants twice my age, having to keep perverts off” 

“All on your own?”

“No, I wasn’t alone. I had my little sister”

“You have a sister?”

“I did. Once.”

“What happened to her?”

“... She was killed,” he says “A man came one night, offered us more money then I had seen in my life for just… an hour, Alone with her. We were desperate, we hadn’t eaten in weeks, neither of us was going to live any longer if we didn’t take it… so, we took it.” he explained “But when I came back when he had finished with my sister, he slit her throat like she was an animal” 

“How old was she?”

“She was nine” 

“How old were you?”

“I was ten”

“Who was he?”

“I don’t know, I never saw him again”

“How did… you get into all the chess?” I asked

“Someone threw out an old chessboard one boxing day, I picked it up out the trash when I was about four” he explained “It was a good distraction and I found I was pretty good. I could sit and play people for pennies, some guy who used to come and play me some days he always gave me a few dollars when I won, one day he just took me along with a championship and… I guess I’ve just been doing it ever since” He explained “I liked being… the weirdo. Dressing so different, acting so different to everyone else in chess, it made me feel… noticed. Like people who once walked past me like I was nothing, were going to notice me, see me somewhere they could only dream of being. Standing out, turning heads in a room when everyone used to look away from me.” He explained “Like it would… make me feel better”

“Does it?”

“A little. But it's a distraction. It’s not fixing it” He says “when I saw you, I remembered what It was like to be like that, and seeing that guy it just…. Made me think of my sister. I couldn’t let it happen, I wasn’t going to let some other girl get used and gutted like a fish in a new york alley, Not if I could help”

“You didn’t have to help me benny”

“I wanted to, it makes me feel better”

“Can I stay here tonight?” I asked

“Y/n, you can stay here as long as you like”

“I can’t pay rent”

“I pay my own rent y/n”

“I can’t buy food”

“We can eat takeaways”

“I don’t know how to do laundry”

“I can teach you” 

“I am bad at dishes”

“If I could work out where to get bulk paper plates I would never do dishes” 

“I can’t do anything to repay you, for everything you’ve done for me”

“You don’t have to. So long as your safe and warm, and happy, then I’m happy” he says kissing my head 

“I could… repay you” I suggested moving his hand to my waist “it’s all I have in the world”

“And it’s yours.” He says “I’m not having sex with you y/n. Not to repay me, not for rent, not for any reason. Unless… you wanted us to, but for fun. Not for anything else”

“If your sure” I nodded

“I’m sure y/n”

“Could I sleep with you? If I’m going to be staying here? Or will I be living on the air bed?”

“You can sleep here with me if you want to” he smiled 

“I’d like to Benny,” I smiled nuzzling into his neck.

[thatssonanii]

Night Out

A/N: Melissa has given birth, Caleb, Cam and Benny are home with the kids while Alaina takes Melissa out and Mana Hanna and Mama Katheryn spend time together.

"This place is nice," Melissa gushed looking around the Italian restaurant.

"Yeah it's one of Luca's."

Melissa raised her brow. "Mitch's uncle? If he shows up I'm callin' Mama and I'm tellin'."

"Hush up, snitch. Luca knows I'm here but he won't tell Mitch. He knows how I feel."

"So what exactly is going on with you and Mr. Malone?"

Alaina waited until their waiter sat the entrees in front of them and walk away before she answered her sister's question.

"We're co-parenting. He finally understands what I was saying," Alaina explained, "We agreed that once he's done with this mob shit that we can revisit a relationship if I still want to."

"What do you mean if? You are so in love with his dumbass," Melissa laughed.

Alaina couldn't help but laugh along with her. She tried not to but she knew Melissa was right.

"I am but I can't be with him while he's doing this and I don't want Treasure to think it's okay. Ya know?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "I don't even know why he went back to that family. I thought Benny was dumb but sheesh."

"Mitch is very loyal. You play to his emotions and he'll agree. How the hell you think Mitch got caught up in Benny's shit?"

The sisters went on with their conversation steering away from heavy issues onto much lighter conversation. Whenever they were together they could talk for hours and laugh. Anyone that didn't know them would swear they are blood sisters.

"Excuse me, I am sorry to interrupt."

Melissa sucked her teeth looking up at the man who approached their table. "Then why did you?"

Alaina reached across the table to hit her sister's arm. "Excuse her. She doesn't like to be interrupted while she eats. Is there something we can help you with, Mr. President?"

"Please, I'm not President yet, call me Charles." He smiled as he extended his hand to Alaina.

"Okay so what can we do for you, Charles?"

"I was on my way out and I couldn't help but notice you," he trailed off waiting for her name.

"It's Alaina and she has two kids. But very single."

"Melissa," Alaina groaned in embarrassment.

Charles laughed watching the sister bicker in front of him. He thought it was cute to see how flustered and embarrassed Alaina got.

"Its fine, its fine. Kids dont bother me, I think they're a blessing. And if yours look anything like you then I bet they're gorgeous children."

"If you don't go home with him then I will," Melissa laughed.

She was now more interested in the way Charles spoke and looked to her sister. It seemed to her that Alaina was enjoying it as well and not because this man could quite possible become the president. She couldn't wait to tell their the guys and Mama.

One of Charles' guards came up to him whispering in his ear then took a small step back.

Charles smiled now looking at both sisters. "I have to go but I hope to see you around, Miss Alaina."

"You want her number," Melissa asked happily. Alaina groaned giving her a side eye.

"I can get it. Expect to hear from me soon. Enjoy your evening ladies."

The girls watched him walk away until he was out of the restaurant then squealed as quietly as they could

"The fucking president just hit on you, Lainey. You went from a mobster to a fucking president."

Alaina shushed her sister, trying to avoid stares from other patrons.

"He did not, Mel. He was just speaking probably trying to get votes."

"Girl, please. He does not need to do that for votes, everyone already loves him."

After dinner, Melissa decided they should forgo the club and go on back home. They both missed their babies and Melissa had started to leak. When they got to the house Alaina went to check her sleeping kids while Melissa fed her baby, joining the men afterwards.

"How was dinner?"

"It was good, Cam. We went to Luca's place." Alaina said thinking about her leftovers.

"Oh yeah, haven't been there in so long," Caleb added with a laugh, "Was the old man there?"

Alaina shook her head explaining that he had other plans. Melissa started to get antsy as she sat next to Benny. Her leg bounced up and down, she couldn't stop it.

"Baby, you good?" Benny asked putting his hand on her knee.

"Ugh. Lainey acting like she didn't get hit on by the President. He came to our table and was drooling all over her." Melissa gushed excitedly.

Caleb frowned looking over at his daughter. "President of what? A company or something?"

"No, Pop. Like that lives in the white house. Charles Federickson hit on Lainey." She explained. "I offered to give him her number and was all I can get it myself. It was sooo cute."

All three men turned their attention to Alaina, who was playing with her fingernails trying to fight the smile on her face.

"I know I got cute kids but damn, Lainey. The president," Caleb laughed.

"She ain't all that cute," Benny added.

"Apparently Charles thought she was cute enough."

Melissa got up to high five Caleb. They ventured into their own conversation about Alaina's encounter with Charles. Alaina listened to bits and pieces but she was distracted my a text she received.

I hope I didn't come on too strong, I just believe in speaking up

Who is this?

She already knew who it was but she wanted him to tell her himself.

How many men approached you? Lol.

It's Charles, beautiful

Oh ... you got my number how?

I'm about to be President, Alaina. I have all sorts of information at my fingertips

I think that's abuse of power, Charles I don't think that's why they gave you the information

Well this can be our little secret

Hmm ... I guess I can keep you're secret

If you're not busy, I'd love to see you tonight

I'll come to you if you'd like

Alaina left him on read once she heard Cameron call her name. It was then that she noticed Caleb, Benny and Melissa had left the room. She raised her brows for him to go on.

"I support you but be careful. Anything seem off, get outta there and let me know. Okay?"

She smiled at his overprotectiveness. "Okay, Cam. I love you."

"Love you too." He kissed her cheek before leaving the room.

She bit her lip deciding on what to text him back. Her kids were sleeping and were gonna stay anyway, going out for an hour or so wouldn't hurt.

Where can I meet you?

I'll send a car for you, it'll be there in 10 ..

[hairringtonsteve]

you have me.

(steve harrington x reader)

summary: steve’s not so great at admitting things in the best way possible. but it works out for him, so he sticks with it. 

request: Can you write an imagine for whoever based on the song Passenger Seat by The Summer Set 😂😂😂

word count: 5, 275

a/n: so yesterday i posted a poll, and the votes amounted to steve getting posted next! so here it is!! also, @dacrethehalls this is for you 

You fell in love in the passenger seat of Steve's car.

Steve fell in love on the first day of ninth grade. Seventh period. Ms. Ranson’s Geography class.

You were the new kid. It had been the same routine in every single class that day. Whatever teacher was in charge of said class would give the same hey class this is y/n and she's new. please, tell us about yourself and you’d be stuck coming up with some new fact.

I'm from the Northeast. I like pizza. I like reading.

On and on and on, coming up with some new inane fact per class. It was exhausting. Ms. Ranson's class was no different. She introduced you to the class in that nasally voice of hers and you muttered something about drawing. You'd barely gotten the words out before she was shuffling you to the nearest empty seat.

“Hey, I'm Steve.” The whispered words came from your left. You glanced over and gave him a sharp nod.

“Cool.”

It was quiet for about twenty seconds when you heard him again.

“You like to draw?”

“Yeah.”

“What can you draw?”

Ms. Ranson cleared her throat. She eyeballed Steve, the very beginning of a glare easing onto her face.

“Mr. Harrington, what do you think you're doing?”

“I'm following your instructions, ma'am. You said to make her feel at home, so I am.” The older woman allowed her features to fall into a full glare.

“That smart remark just earned you a detention, Mr. Harrington.” He let out a scoff of protest, but quieted down when you spoke up.

“But he was just following your instructions, ma'am. That's not fair, for you to punish him when he's just being polite.”

You glanced over to Steve, who was staring at you, lips parted in awe. He shook his head when he realized that you were looking. A red flush colored his cheeks. You turned back to the teacher, who was shaking her head at the both of you.

“Well, if you're so keen on defending him, then you can defend him right to detention. The both of you have just earned yourselves a detention on the first day of school. An admirable feat.” There was sarcasm lacing her words. You and Steve exchanged an eye roll, and from that moment on, were attached at the hip.

“Do you ever think of your life as - as pictures? Like, snapshots?” You blinked, bleary eyed as you looked over to Steve. The beer can in your hand was starting to get warm. It wasn't that bad, though. A warm, fuzzy feeling had started to spread through your limbs. It felt nice.

“What do you mean?” He had a brow cocked at you, that small smile of his playing on his lips. You leaned into his side a little, your feet moving back and forth, gentle in the warm pool water.

It was the night before your senior year started. Notebooks had been bought, clothes had been picked out for the next day. It had become tradition for you and Steve to sneak some of his dad's alcohol and drink out by the pool. By some miracle, the tradition had continued on to its final year, despite Steve getting an offer to hang out with Nancy that night.

“I don't know. It's just, well, like summer. Summer isn't big things for me. It's… driving in your car late at night. Or sitting on the edge of your pool, like now. Or screaming the lyrics to Africa at three in the morning when you got us lost in Chicago.”

“I didn't get us lost. You were shit at directions.”

“You're not getting it!” You exclaimed, waving a hand out in front of you. You made a vague motion with it, but Steve nodded as though he understood what you meant.

He always understood what you meant.

“Then help me.”

“I just - it's - everyone keeps telling me about the big things. Graduating high school. Going to college and having a career and marriage and babies and just all these big things.” You paused. “But no one talks about how good the little things are. How important they are. No one talks about how you look when you make me sneak out of my room so we can just drive around at night.” You were rambling. Maybe you'd drank more than you'd thought.

“How do I look when I make you sneak out of your room?” His voice was soft in the darkness. The only light was from the pool, hazy and soft and blue. It reflected on his face, catching the way his gaze was fixed upon you. You couldn't tell if he was the one holding his breath, or if it was you.

“Like magic, Steve.”

He ducked his head, the blush on his cheeks visible even in the low bluish light. You watched him for longer than necessary. The beer in your hand - your third, maybe - was making it hard to focus on the right things. Instead, you were focusing on the way your chest twisted at the sight of him; the way it felt as though your heart was being wrenched this way and that at the idea of not seeing him every single day.

“What’s going to happen to us after we graduate?” Your words slipped out unbidden. They fell at his feet, bloody and vulnerable and ready to be trampled upon.

“What do you mean?”

“We're not gonna be in the same town, regardless of where you go. And, uh, most people think it's weird when a girl calls a guy that's dating someone else.”

It was quiet for a long time after that. Steve stared at the gently moving water, his knuckles white as he gripped the beer can. You'd said the wrong thing, then. It was the truth, though. Guys didn't call girls that they weren't dating. Guys didn't write to girls or keep in touch with girls that they weren't into. You and Steve were platonic, therefore this year was it.

It was all you'd get.

“Demogorgons.”

“Yeah.”

“A shit ton of demogorgons.”

“Yep.”

“You're telling me that you battled interdimensional monsters a month ago and you're just now telling me because Dustin Henderson is allowing you to?”

“Uh, yeah?”

Benny's Diner wasn't the most popular spot in town, but it was open and close enough to the middle school that the two of you wouldn't have to rush back to pick Dustin up. But most of all, it was the place that Steve had deemed to just lay everything on the table. Or on the dashboard, really.

No one had left the car since he'd parked. He hadn't been able to keep quiet, instead spewing up word after word. Every syllable was crazier than the last, but it made sense. A year of insanity, wrapped up in Steve's car.

“So… Is that why the late night car rides started becoming a bit weekly thing? Nightmares?” Steve stared at you, reminiscent of the way that he'd looked at you that day in ninth grade.

“I literally just told you that monsters exist and that a girl with psychic abilities is in Hawkins, and you're concerned about my nightmares?”

“Uh, yeah, dumbass. Have you been sleeping? You're going to make yourself sick if you don't,” you said, frowning at him. He had to understand that this was important, right? The boy needed sleep. Now that you were looking, the bags under his eyes were obvious. They were dark and puffy, screaming for someone to notice them.

“How are you more concerned with my nightmares than with El?”

“She has Hopper. You have me.” You stared him down, daring him to disagree. His mouth hung open a little. The cold must've filtered into the car by then because there were little puffs of white coming out with each of his exhales.

“I have you,” he parroted. There was something off in his voice, like he was too caught up in his head. His eyes refocused on you, suddenly bright and a little intense. “I have you,” he said once more, his voice firmer this time around. Like he was stating a fact.

“That's what I said.” You watched him, brow furrowing. He was indecipherable. For the first time since you'd met him, you couldn't read him. “Look, how about we stop at the dance, tell Jonathan to bring him home, and we head back to my house?”

“Why your house?”

“ You sleep better there.” You'd looked out of the window, smiling faintly as flurries started to fall.

You totally missed the way that Steve was looking at you.

Sleeping at your house became a thing.

But the bigger thing was the late night car rides. They'd been a staple of your friendship, but they'd become more frequent. Before he'd told you, they happened about twice a week. After he told you, it was almost every single night.

Steve would toss rocks at your window. You'd climb onto the roof and then make the small jump to your favorite tree in the backyard. After shimmying down, it would be straight to his car. His BMW had become a safe haven of sorts.

“It's like the wardrobe,” you'd said one night, watching as the orange streetlights streaked by.

“The what?” Steve's fingers were tapping along to the music. Occasionally, he even started humming.

“The wardrobe, from the Chronicles of Narnia. You know, the thing that Lucy went through to get to Narnia?”

“Yeah, didn't read that one.”

“Okay, so Lucy Pevensie goes through this wardrobe and ends up in this magical land of Narnia. And your car feels like that wardrobe. Like we're going to somehow leave and go to this incredible place, on this adventure.”

“How's everything turn out for Lucy?” You looked over at his question, lips forming a small smile. The warm glow was resting on his face and it made everything seem like a dream.

“Pretty good, actually. It all worked out in the end.” Steve nodded his head a couple of times, slow and loose, like he was thinking about something.

“And my car is the wardrobe?” There was something lying underneath the surface of that question. It was just out of reach, brushing against your mind but refusing to stick. Steve was looking for an answer but you didn't know what it was. So you went with your gut.

“Yeah, it's the wardrobe.” The answer satisfied him, the corners of his mouth curling upwards.

You'd ended up in your room not long after that. The rest of the ride had been spent in silence aside from the radio. You'd fiddle with the dial, going from station to station until Steve would swat your hand away with a roll of his eyes.

That easy camaraderie had shifted by the time you got back. You had your back to him and vice versa, slipping on your pajamas as you tried to pin down what felt different that night. You'd been doing this for at least two months. Nothing had changed, yet it had. There was a tension in the air, rippling and shifting with every look that Steve gave you.

By the time you laid down in bed, you felt like you were going to crawl out of your skin. You slid under the covers, briefly relishing in the warmth that your pajama pants provided. But then Steve was climbing in and the feeling was back in full force. He hesitated for a moment before you scooted towards him. His arm went around your waist, tucking you into his chest.

Around week three, you'd both given up pretending that you didn't end up cuddling at night.

“Y/N?” Steve whispered, his warm breath curling around your ear.

“Yeah?”

“I - I can tell you anything, right?” His voice was wobbly and unsure. You struggled not to tense up. The last time he'd sounded like that, you'd sat in his car as he exploded on about bullshit.

“Of course, Steve.”

It was quiet. If you listened close enough, you would have been able to hear your dog padding down the hallway. The wind blew, causing the occasional tree branch to crack or scratch against the side of the house.

“I'm in love with you.”

Your heart stopped. You'd never gotten it whenever people said that their heart had stopped. Of course a heart wasn't going to just stop beating because of what something had said. However, those five words had caused your heart to slam against your rib cage and pause for a painful second.

“Like… like a friend.”

“No.”

The single word was so sure of itself that you wanted to punch him. His arm was still wrapped around your waist, and it was too much. You shoved it up and out of the way, almost launching your body away from him. You started to pace, back and forth, stepping on the clothes strewn across the floor.

“You don't love me.”

“Yes, I do.” He was sitting up in your bed, running his fingers through his hair as he watched you. He was almost frustratingly calm. You would've thought he wasn't worried at all, but his teeth nipped at his lower lip. His fingers thrummed against his leg. He kept messing up his hair. You knew him too well.

“You're full of it.”

“Do you know when I knew that I loved you?”

“Steve, stop it.” You were shaking by then.

“First day of ninth grade,” he started, ignoring the way you were staring at him, begging him to stop. ‘Seventh period. Ms. Ranson's Geography class. You defended me. No one - no one ever did that before. And you - you're still the only one that's ever defended me. That's ever given a shit about me beyond my fucking popularity status. So don't tell me to stop it, okay? Because I can't.” His voice cracked at the end and it hurt you to your core. But this was you, and you dealt with pain the same way that your dog did - by lashing out.

“You can't? Really? You can't? You dated Nancy for a year, Steve.”

Steve shot up, finger jabbing at you as his eyes darkened. There it was, that anger. You needed him to be angry. Anger was easier to deal with than… than the other thing.

“And I felt like shit all the time because deep down I knew it was bullshit on both sides. I… It wasn't right for me to date her, but it fucking killed me to know you don't feel the same,” he spat out, scowling. He loomed over you, making something in your chest twitch.

“You can't just spring this on me, Steve. Not now, now here. It isn't fair.”

“Not fair?” He asked, a hysterical note to his voice. “We've been sleeping in the same bed for two months! We spend every free second together. You told me that I look like magic. We act like a couple. We talk like a couple. You care more about my wellbeing than I do! You hold my hand and are there for me and -” He cut himself off, glancing for a second to your door. You'd almost forgotten that your parents were home.

“That's what friends do, Steve!” You took care that your voice was a whisper, but it was still louder than you'd meant for it to be. “Because we're friends.”

“Friends.” The word came out bitter, his lips twisting into something unpleasant. “Right. We're friends.”

“Why are you saying it like that?”

“Because that's what we are. It's what we've been for years. It's what we'll always be.” He was spitting the words out then, scowling as he stepped away from you.

“Why are you saying it like that? And why - are you leaving?” You watched as he gathered up his clothes, shoving his legs through his jeans and tugging on his sweater. “What are you doing?”

“I'm going home.”

He was leaving.

“But why?”

He was leaving you.

“I need some space, alright? I just do.”

“Steve, don't-”

“Why don't you call Matt, hm? Christ knows you two were never just friends.” The mention of your ex stung. It was a low blow, and he knew that.

“What the fuck is your problem, Steve?” He just waved his hands in the air as he shoved his feet into his sneakers.

“I'm not doing this right now. I’ll see you later.”

And just like that, he was gone. You stared at the open window, watching the curtains shuffle with the breeze. It was the middle of February, and the air had a cold bite to it. You left it open. You didn’t even bother going to your bed, instead just sitting on the ground, staring at the spot of where his sweater had been.

He was in love with you. Apparently had been for years. You slammed your hand on the ground and scowled. How dare he throw that on you then! It was only a couple of months until graduation, and then what? Seeing each other on holidays and maybe the occasional call? Losing Steve was going to be hard enough, but throwing those kind of emotions into the mix just wasn’t fair.  

Your heartbeat sped up at the idea of those emotions. He was full of shit, ruining a perfectly good friendship over this. The boy couldn’t even handle himself, let alone another relationship. He was still rebounding from Nancy. He was deluded and exhausted and emotional. He wasn’t thinking clearly. Steve had just been spewing nonsense when he’d said those things, about the two of you acting like a couple. You didn’t act like a couple. You didn’t.

Without meaning to, your thoughts shifted. Sure, the two of you hung out more than most friends did. And yeah, you were more affectionate towards him than friends would normally be. But his parents were rarely ever around and he needed someone to be there for him, to hug him and make sure that he was okay. And you had said that he looked like magic, but that was referring to whenever he was driving late at night.

And it was true.

Steve looked like a dream that you’d have late in the winter when you were longing for summer. The orange glow would light up his face and make everything soft. His eyes would narrow anytime that you’d turn the radio dial, and you’d end up shrieking when he’d lightly slap your hand away. He always let you have the last say, though.

From ninth grade until twelfth grade, Steve had been a constant in your life. And when he’d gotten his car, that was a constant too. Your summers were judged by how many days you’d rode in his passenger seat, windows down as you screamed to the music. Your winters, by how many mornings you two had sat in his car before school, talking enough that the windows fogged. Spring and Fall were spent riding around in the evenings, watching the leaves sprout and change color.

It was as though everything had been spinning in fast, chaotic circles, but suddenly, it screeched to a grinding halt.

You were in love with Steve. You had been in love with Steve for a long time.

Oh.

“Nancy,” you said, skidding to a stop as you reached her locker. She cocked a brow at you, tilting her head as her eyes narrowed.

“What’s wrong with you? You look terrible, Y/N.”

“I…” You trailed off, glancing around to make sure that no one was close enough to overhear. “I think I’m in love with Steve.” You were waiting for some big reaction. You’d betrayed a friend of yours by being into her ex. You were waiting for her eyes to wide and her mouth to fall open and for her to stare at you in shock. But instead, she just cocked a brow at you.

“Yeah. What’s the big deal?”

“What do you mean, what’s the big deal?”

“Wait, is this news to you?” You stared at her.

“It’s not news to you?”

“No? You and Steve got really close after everything happened in November. I thought you two…” She waved a hand in the air to motion towards something.

“We’re just friends, Nance.”

“He’s been sleeping at your house for two and a half months.” She said the words slow, enunciating every word, looking dubious.

“Because he can’t sleep at night.” Nancy tilted her head back against her locker, rolling her eyes so far back you could see the whites of them for a moment.

“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard, and you know it.”

“Oh, my god.” You leaned back against the wall, the sick feeling that had been in your stomach all morning multiplying. Jonathan paused by Nancy, giving her a quick peck on the head as he looked over to you.

“What’s up with you?”

“She’s just now realizing that she’s in love with Steve.” Jonathan frowned, looking almost exactly like Nancy had just seconds before.

“Oh God, I’ve been leading him on.”

“No, you haven’t. If you tell him that you-”

“He told me that he loves me last night and I panicked and said that he didn’t love me and that we were just friends,” you blurted out, cutting Nancy off in the middle of her sentence. She and Jonathan both stared at you, sharing the same look of utter shock.

“You’re shitting me,” Jonathan said. “Is that why he almost punched me in the face when I say hey to him in Mr. Reese’s class?” A bell rang out, and the three of you blanched. “Shit, just - Talk to him, please? If not for you, for me? Because I cannot deal with him regressing back to his King Steve shtick, okay?” With that, the boy was dragging Nancy down the hall as the rest of the students cleared out.

You headed in the opposite direction, your heart pounding more and more with every step. Eventually, you stopped outside of Mr. Clarke’s room, praying that Steve had actually showed up to class. You opened the door and popped your head inside, ignoring the way that everyone turned to stare at you.

“Uh, Mr. Clarke?”

“Yeah, Y/N, what can I do for you?”

“Steve’s wanted in the office for something. Principal Norris asked me to get him.” You allowed yourself a little weak moment and looked over to Steve, who was staring at you with a blank expression.

“Head out, Harrington. Get the notes from somebody later, alright?” You watched as Steve got up from his seat, throwing the strap of his backpack over his shoulder and practically shoving past you to get out the door.

“What’s Norris want with me?” His tone was neutral as the two of you started down the hallway.

“Uh, she doesn’t. I just - we need to talk, Steve.” He stopped in his tracks, looking down at you with a scowl. You’d seen that look before. It had been aimed at Jonathan in years past, more recently Billy and Tommy. But not you. Never you.

“Cool. I’m heading back to class,” he said, shaking his head at you. His shoulder bumped against yours as he passed. You reached out, fingers wrapping around his hand as you tugged him to a stop. His skin was warm against yours, somehow comforting you and hurting you at the same time.

“Steve, please.” Please came out cracking and broken. You weren’t sure if you’d ever sounded so desperate, so scared and aching and wishing that things could just be right.

“Then talk.” The last place that you wanted to talk was in the hallway, but his feet were planted and he wasn’t moving. Your fingers were still wrapped around his hand, but he was making no move on his part.

“You can’t - it’s not fair that you just threw all of that on me last night.” He whirled around, opening his mouth to argue, but you held up your free hand to silence him. “You just… You don’t know how fucking scared I am, Steve. Once August comes, everything is different. I’m heading off to college and you’re joining up with Hopper and we won’t be together. This is it and it’s fucking cruel to throw in that when it’s just going to hurt even worse when the times comes.” You were shaking a little as you stood there. You’d acknowledged that you were scared of leaving Hawkins and him, but with everything else, it was a hundred times worse.

“Wait, what do you think is going to happen?” You shook your head and shrugged your shoulders. “You think that we’re not going to be friends after August? That we’ll flush years of friendship down the toilet because we’re too lazy to call each other? Y/N/N, c’mon. You can’t be serious here.” His entire body had softened as he’d started to speak. His shoulders lost the tension in them, the fire in his eyes was muted. He just looked young and sad and tired.

“We’re not good at that kind of thing, Steve. We’re shit at keeping in touch with other people. Why would this be any different?”

“Because you have me.” The words took you back to that night in his car outside of Benny’s Diner, him asking you why you cared more about his sleep schedule than a girl with psychic powers. You glanced down at your hands, realizing that you hadn’t let go. His fingers finally threaded through yours, slotting together like they were made that way.

“What if we fuck this up, Steve? What if we try this whole thing out and we really fuck it up?” Steve furrowed his brow at you, leaning forward a little as confusion settled onto his features.

“What do you mean, try this whole thing? What whole thing? Staying in touch?”

“No. The other thing. The… together thing.” Your cheeks were a bright red by that point. Confrontation had never been your strong suit, but this was a whole other level of embarrassment.  

“What together thing? If I remember, last night you told me that we’re friends.”

“Yeah, don’t remind me of how you made that a bad thing.” Steve used his free hand to run his fingers through his hair, shaking his head a little as he looked down at his feet.

“I was just upset. You were telling me that I was full of it for telling you how I felt. You know that I know that being friends with you is the most important thing in my life.” His voice had gotten as soft as it had been last night, when his arm had been curled around your waist and his breath on your ear.

“You came on so strong, Steve. You just kept plowing through and I was already freaking out in general about leaving and then you… you say that and I panicked.” His thumb brushed against the back of your hand, a small comfort.

“Yeah, well you were telling me that I didn’t mean it, and I started panicking.” You let out a soft snort at that, more of a huff of laughter than anything else. “I’m sorry, though. I shouldn’t have stormed off like that. That wasn’t okay.” He paused once more, looking from the floor to you. “What together thing are you talking about, Y/N?”

“Can we not talk about it here? I just - the lights - and someone’s going to see us and I don’t want to… be here.” You let you babbling die off, fading into the quiet as Steve watched you. It took him a second or two to realize what you’d said, and then he was practically dragging you towards the parking lot. His fingers remained intertwined with yours, firm and secure as he lead the two of you into the bright, cold afternoon air. It was quiet between the two of you as you walked, heading towards the safe haven that was his car.

It remained quiet as you got into the passenger seat, staring ahead at the dusty dash while Steve rounded the car. It was still quiet as he got in, and as he turned on the engine and pulled out. Trees sped by the window as he drove through the quiet of Hawkins.

“Do you remember when I said that this was my seat, when you first got her?” You started, tapping the very seat that you were sitting on. Steve let out a soft hum, acknowledging that he heard you. “I didn’t realize it ‘til last night, but um, I… I think I feel the same about you. I can’t breathe at the thought of not talking to you. My best memories are in this car with you.” You were staring down at your lap, hands folded neatly there. It was better than looking at him, to see the emotions that would be flickering across his face. “I’m pretty sure that I fell in love with you in my passenger seat a long time ago and I’m kind of panicking right now. So, uh, yeah.”

The words had tumbled out of your mouth and hung in the air. There was no sound except for the soft rumble of the engine, and the occasional whizz  of a car speeding by. Steve didn’t talk, didn’t say a single word as you waited. After around a minute or so, he flicked on his turn signal and pulled over to the side of the road. You still didn’t say anything as he turned on his four-ways. He was the one that held the power to shift the balance. You weren’t going to let yourself sway him one way or another.

Still, he didn’t say anything, so eventually, you glanced over to him. He was staring at you, so intent that you tried to turn away. But he reached out and laid a hand on yours. It was quiet for a beat before he was leaning forward and pressing his lips against your lips. It wasn’t the soft, quiet, or gentle kiss that you would have thought he’d give. No, this was hard and insistent, reassuring you that there was no fucking chance that he was going anywhere at all. You scooted forward, pressing into the kiss with everything you had left. You rested a hand against his neck, the other tangling in his shirt as you tugged him closer.

The kiss screamed closer.

“I thought I was going crazy,” he breathed out, pulling away just enough to rest his forehead against yours. He was panting, chest heaving as he stared at you. His lips were swollen and red. “I could’ve sworn that I was going crazy and you didn’t -” You stopped him with another kiss. This one was sweet and soft, but still reassuring. Still letting him know that it was alright.

“I’m sorry I was a dick about it last night.” He let out a laugh, grinning wide before he pressed another kiss to your lips.

“Don’t be. We were both dicks.”

The two of you laughed, foreheads pressed against each other as the cold air slowly seeped back into the car. But neither of you minded.

Because the two of you didn’t know what was going to happen after school. You didn’t know what would happen over the summer, or where the fall would take you. But what you did know, was that it’d be okay.

Because you had each other.

taglist: @harringtonhuddle @nicospaten @selenedarkbloom @samuel-maurice455 @lilo-1398 @thevortexclubposse @laurennicole1313 @allfandomxreader @alwaysmebeforeyou @istanuriss @smittyjaws @myblackwings5 @morgandakotaq @rivedale @buckybass @laterg8r

[robotslenderman]

So hey, I realised I only told a couple of friends of how jury duty last year went, so I’ve copy-pasted (with minor editing) the shenanigans below. Content warning under the cut.

Content warning: the guy was a pedophile who tried to (keyword being “tried”) bait 13YOs into meeting up with him.

Having said that, I walked into this case expecting to be scarred for life and instead the whole thing was so ridiculous, the man was such a loser, the victims were so badass that the jury was like “this guy is a total joke.”

Especially after the fuckboy incident.

The trial ended up being pretty goddamn funny. Mostly thanks to the Crown Prosecutor, who had no fucks to give and was yelled at more than once by the judge for getting really sarcastic.

Here are things I wrote down over the course of jury duty:

The phrase, “Having sex with twelve-year-olds is overrated.”

“John* is now going to read about masturbation.”

That time we accidentally trapped two judges in a supply closet.

The random, partial handprint on the ceiling of the courtroom. Only one other juror ever saw it.

At one point I was exhausted and pretending to read from my folder and closed my eyes for a while. 

Afterwards, our jury officer went “ha ha ha I saw you but you were totally reading, right?”

“HA HA HA WHAT A COINCIDENCE YES I WAS!”

How awesome the victims are. Snips from the logs:

“Want to see a picture of my great penis?”

“What’s so great about it?”

“I love you.”

“Okay.”

“I love you.”

“I don’t.”

“Oh.”

“I’m not some Asian hooker!”

“I’m in love with you.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“Because you also said that to my sister!”

“I love both of you!”

“[Not amused]”

“Please block me, or I’ll keep wanting to talk to you. Thank you for helping me get over you, Nina*.”

The fact that the accused was trying really hard to be dodgy and creepy by convincing another victim to keep it secret. Meanwhile the victim was just as determined to bring him home and have him meet her family.

“I love you, Audrey*.”

“My name is Adriana*!”

Meanwhile, the face identity the police set up to catch the pedophile was as dumb as a post.

And the accused fell for it.

Then later spent half his time on the stand insisting the fake identity was so dumb that there’s no way he could possibly have thought she was really thirteen.

(No, really, he actually used that as a defence.)

One of the victims had the name of a Mass Effect character.

The “fuckboy” meme.

First conversation after being appointed to the jury, wondering if it’s too late to escape:

“What do you suppose we’d have to do to get kicked off the jury?”

“Come in wearing a badge saying ‘It’s Okay To Say No!’“

“OOOOOHHHHHHHH!!!”

Explanation: the marriage equality vote was going on at this time and the “No” campaign’s slogan was “It’s Okay To Say No [to same sex marriage]!”

One of the jurors is a middle eastern guy who grew out his stubble for a few days before the trial and glared at the barristers when they were rejecting jurors in the hope that they’d “think [he] looked like a terrorist” (his words) and get rid of him.

It didn’t work.

After he told us this, he said, “I should have grown a beard and put three plaits in it.”

Watching the slow decline of our next door neighbours’ collective mental health.

Waking up one morning to find they’d posted jury duty memes on their door.

“Waiting for the jury to come to a verdict” 

[Picture of a skeleton]

“Look at all the fucks I give” replaced with “look at all the counts we have to decide”

A picture of a group of old white guys in suits laughing their asses off, captioned with, “And then I said it’d only take fourteen weeks!”

They’ve been deliberating for two and a half months.

Every time one of my fellow jurors ran into them they came back wide-eyed and traumatised, convinced next door had totally lost it.

“Ha ha ha, you must be new here.”

Next door’s jurors often looked over their shoulder and squinted at us suspiciously if we happened to glance in their direction when they went into their room.

Rumour has it that they’d lost it so much they’d become obnoxiously perky, in that “I’m about to go insane” kind of way. I wasn’t sure about this, but later one Very Happily opened a door for me with a massive grin and a bit of eyetwitching, and... yeah, it’s totally true, they lost it.

There was also a rumour one of their walls was covered in mugshots, but I never got to see it because of aforementioned suspicious squinting and cagey behaviour.

Occasionally, between sessions, a member of the jury will, out of the blue, say, “Fuckboy” and have the entire room crack up.

“Fuckboy 2.0!”

Wincing a bit and thinking, “Man, the Defence is asking the accused some hard questions!” only for the CP to basically go “hold my beer” and totally lay into the guy.

I will never, ever in my life see anything as awesome as the Crown Prosecutor laying into a pedophile ever again. It’s over. I may as well keel over and die now. I’m amazed the accused didn’t crack because he held this guy’s balls to the fire for three days.

Ladies and gentlemen and distinguished guests, the fucking Crown Prosecutor:

“So your aim with these meetups isn’t to have sex with underaged girls, but simply to get them to agree to meet you?”

“Yes.”

“... That’s it?"

“It’s a hobby.”

“Have you considered stamp collecting?” [Gets chewed out by the judge.]

“So the pinnacle of your sexual satisfaction is when they agree to meet, is that correct?”

“Yes. At my age, I don’t need anything more.”

[Vaguely smug] “Well, here we have Jane Doe* agreeing to meet up with you. That’s the pinnacle of your sexual satisfaction, that’s all you want from this conversation, correct?”

“Yes.”

“Great! Let’s have a cigarette!”

“In this chat log, we clearly see that this woman has claimed to be fifteen years old, and you’re now telling the jury you think she was lying. Why?”

“She’s in Rwanda, and claiming to have dated many white men. That’s not possible because I’ve been to Rwanda, there’s barely any white men like me there."

“So you must be hot property in Rwanda, huh?”

[Slightly put out] “Well, actually, yes!”

The accused kept insisting that no, cybersex didn’t turn him on unless the other person was turned on, no really, honestly, truly, he would never be aroused unless they were too and this was all for his partners’ benefits! Really!

He kept doing this until the CP blurt out, “Oh for god’s sake, if you’re so damn nice, why don’t you open a charity?”

(The judge yelled at him again.)

Reading the following sentence out in a completely deadpan tone of voice, as if describing the weather: “I suggest to you that you wrote the phrase ‘I want to suck your clit and cum -- C-U-M -- inside you’ in order to obtain an erection.”

He often read out sexually explicit excerpts like this. It got even funnier every time there was a misspelling, because the CP would absolutely insist on pronouncing it exactly as it was misspelled and also spelling it out.

“The victim said she was ‘spechless.’ I think she meant ‘speechless.’“

As he read out excerpts where entire sentences were made out of internet slang, bad spelling and acronyms, you could visibly see him age.

Srsly the other jurors thought this guy was boring. Boring. What was wrong with them this guy is amazing.

Fuckboy

The deadpan, srs bsnss dry humour of the Crown Prosecutor was only made even funnier by the contrast with his counterpart (the Defence Lawyer) being flamboyant and found of flourishing his cape every time he sits down.

The jury naming the DL “Happy Jumps” because he liked to spring out of his seat every time he was addressed and, when standing, would never stop smiling. Then when he sat down again cue the cape flourish!

(Even funnier because every single moment he wasn’t standing up he knew perfectly well his client was screwed and his face reflected it.)

I Would Now!!!! :)))) Like To Address The Jury!!!! :)))) To Inform Them :)))) That I, Happy Jumps, :))))) Speak Like This :)))) As If I'm Capitalising Every. Word. I Say. :)))) Complete with lots of. Hand. Gestures. :))))) And Emphasizing Every Other Word :)))) And Pausing. Inexplicably. In The Middle Of My. Sentences. :)))) Just So I Can :)))) Smile At The Jury :))))

He talks exACTLY LIKE MY FUCKGING DAD DOES WHAT THE FCUK

Except for the part he introduced himself to us and at one point said, “As the court case climaxes, I will -- wait, advances, I MEANT ADVANCES.”

The jurors naming one of Happy Jumps’ cronies “Benny” because of how much he looked like Ben Affleck.

At one point Benny got inexplicably banished to the public gallery.

It’s okay, he was invited back to the bar table later.

The moment Happy Jumps officially doomed his own client to never being taken seriously by the jury again:

“So, your screenname here is written as JohnDoefb*. John Doe* is your name, correct?”

“That’s correct.”

“What does ‘fb’ stand for?”

[Flinches]

“?”

[Incoherent mumbling]

“Could you please repeat that louder?”

“...”

“...”

“... ‘Fuckboy.’“

The entire jury lost their shit.

(Very, very quietly.)

[meyerlansky]

I apologize if you've answered this previously, but how involved do you think Meyer was in Benny's death? I know Meyer supposedly denied any involvement till his dying day, but there seems to be a lot of evidence that if he didn't order it himself, he signed off on it at the very least. Just curious as to your thoughts, since you seem to be Tumblr's go-to expert on Meyer Lansky.

HA i’m gonna put ‘go-to expert on meyer lansky’ in my about page and also tattoo it on my face

uh, anyway, i’ve talked about this a few times before, but they’re buried way back in the gangster history tag and i don’t mind answering another time :P the tl;dr summary of my stance is “the hit on benny couldn’t have gone through without an okay from meyer, but that doesn’t mean he actually wanted benny to be killed, and i very much doubt that that’s what meyer wanted at all.”

longwinded answer: i personally subscribe to the interpretation that, because meyer was a founding member of the commission along with charlie, he was given a vote on commission decisions while charlie was still his family’s head. [depending on who you listen to, so was benny, but obviously he wouldn’t get a vote on his own murder, so it’s inconsequential to this question.] decisions on high-level kill contracts had to be unanimous, and therefore meyer had to have okayed it in some capacity for the hit to happen in the first place. that said, i absolutely do not think his okaying it was out of a desire to see benny killed over the flamingo. if it was, the hit would probably have happened immediately after the conference itself, instead of being deferred to after the flamingo’s opening—the other family heads had no reason to give benny one last chance when they’d already decided he’d cheated them, unless meyer convinced them to wait. [or charlie did, but if charlie argued for it it was probably because meyer wanted it—even if charlie didn’t have the friction with benny that i’ve read about them having from sources of varying repute, charlie had far more pressing things to be worried about at that point. like. y’know. getting deported. again.] if it was, i don’t think meyer would have given esta and the siegel girls the support he did after benny’s death for as long as he did.

not only were meyer and benny friends, probably the closest friends out of that group of men at that point in time with the exception of meyer and charlie, but meyer didn’t exactly have... the power base, i guess, to be the single solitary no vote on benny’s hit. charlie might’ve voted no with him, but charlie’s power base was also diminished after prison, and i’m sure no one actually believed he was going to be able to stay operating out of havana. the other family heads wanted benny gone, and meyer being the lone no vote would have been VERY bad for him when he already had trafficante [and possibly anastasia] breathing down his neck in cuba and god knows what other italian bosses looking to muscling in on his US stuff. at least a few of the other family heads thought meyer had too much control of charlie’s business in the first place, so he wasn’t really in a position to push back on benny being killed. if he voted no, it would’ve happened anyway, and he probably would’ve been next. 

and, again, i feel like i can’t really? stress this enough? because dehumanization is dangerous and yet it runs rampant in gangster history and it is my personal mission to stop it: benny and meyer were friends. they grew up together, they got married within a few weeks of each other to women they started dating literally on a double date together, they raised their kids as if they were cousins, they had a personal friendship outside of the gangster things, and there’s this tendency to assume that meyer masterminded the benny hit because... that’s what meyer did? he masterminded things? but for all his emotional reticence i have a very difficult time believing any plan of his would involve killing the guy who’d been one of his closest friends for forty years, without some kind of mitigating factor behind that decision. and a bunch of [antisemitic, insular, ambitious/greedy] italian bosses KNOWING he was the only no vote and his only backing was coming from charlie, who shouldn’t be in that hemisphere and probably wouldn’t be for too much longer? that’s a pretty mitigating factor. meyer was a smart enough guy to figure all this out. so. that’s basically where i land on the whole thing.

[haaaaaaaarrrry]

1-155 and what's your opinion on feet?

1: Name::  Lucy2: Age::   203: 3 Fears::  birds, planes, men4: 3 things I love::  babies, Kit Kats, and feeling loved5: 4 turns on::  intelligence, kindness, an acoustic guitar, someone older6: 4 turns off::  immaturity, arrogance, being super loud?, right wing7: My best friend:: Lillian 8: Sexual orientation::  hetero9: My best first date::  I’ve never really been taken out on a first date 10: How tall am I:: 5′811: What do I miss::  not caring about my weight12: What time were I born::  my mom doesn’t even remember I'm her last kid and she was forty13: Favourite color::  pink is my signature color14: Do I have a crush::  yes and no15: Favourite quote::  “ho but make it fashion” Tyra Banks16: Favourite place::  my best friend’s presence17: Favourite food::  Mac and cheese18: Do I use sarcasm::  idk u tell me19: What am I listening to right now:: the winner of the 2018 AOTY Grammy Award: Divide20: First thing I notice in new person::  whether or not they’re nice21: Shoe size::  822: Eye color::  brown23: Hair color:: dark brown. just dyed it.24: Favourite style of clothing::  ho but fashion25: Ever done a prank call?::  loads of times27: Meaning behind my URL:: well Tenerife SEA but my name rhymes so Tenerife LU-sea was born but no one got it so Tenerife-lucy28: Favourite movie::  Dirty Dancing29: Favourite song:: of all time, Tiny Dancer. Currently, Happier.30: Favourite band:: GNR sun31: How I feel right now::  sad32: Someone I love::  my dad33: My current relationship status::  single as a Pringle m834: My relationship with my parents:: lovely35: Favourite holiday:: thanksgiving36: Tattoos and piercing I have::  nose and my pine tree37: Tattoos and piercing I want:: I don’t want any more piercings but I do want the word wild on my butt38: The reason I joined Tumblr::  does anyone actually know39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?::  I don’t know how he feels about me but ask my therapist40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?::  does my mom count41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?::  no42: When did I last hold hands?::  romantically? in December 43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?:: too damn long44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?:: no lmao45: Where am I right now?::  a state of loneliness and self loathing46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?:: Nora 47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? ::   loud48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? ::  no49: Am I excited for anything?::  October 6th binch50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?::  yes51: How often do I wear a fake smile?:: 88% of the time52: When was the last time I hugged someone?::  earlier today53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?::  I wouldn’t be alarmed54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?::  um I don’t really trust anyone except my parents so55: What is something I disliked about today?::  I messed up my nails right after I painted them56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?::  Singer Songwriter Edward Christopher Sheeran57: What do I think about most?::  my weight58: What’s my strangest talent?::  I can eat a lollipop with my toes59: Do I have any strange phobias?:: birds? is that strange60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?::  behind61: What was the last lie I told?::  I have no idea62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?:: talking on the phone I don’t like to see myself63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? :: yes yes64: Do I believe in magic?:: duh65: Do I believe in luck?:: yeppers66: What's the weather like right now?::  cold as a witch’s teet67: What was the last book I've read?:: Madame Bovary68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?:: weirdly yes69: Do I have any nicknames?::  Lu, Luc, Lu-Bug, Lucyfer, edsheeran.daddy6970: What was the worst injury I've ever had?::  I hurt my back once and could hardly move71: Do I spend money or save it?::  spend 72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge?::  no73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me?::  my blankie74: Favourite animal?:: cat cats75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?:: watching ANTM76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?::  Moore77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?:: One Call Away78: How can you win my heart?::  by being Ed Sheeran79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?::  here lies a dramatic hoe who loved y’all binches80: What is my favorite word? ::  actually. I say it all the time81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr @knox-on-eds-wood @weareedsobfg ((I'm cheating and grouping y’all all in one) @tea-and-toblerones @gay-romantics @lordedsheeran82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? :: she won the popular vote83: Do I have any relatives in jail?:: not that I know of84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?:: healing people85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?::  do you practice what you preach86: What is my current desktop picture?::  my baby niece87: Had sex?::  yah88: Bought condoms?::  yah89: Gotten pregnant?::  no90: Failed a class?::  no but almost91: Kissed a boy?::  yah92: Kissed a girl?::  no93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?::  yah94: Had job?:: ye had job95: Left the house without my wallet?::  who hasn’t96: Bullied someone on the internet?::  not unless you count repeatedly using the phrase daddy and grossing out @ownerandwriterofedsnnnnggghhhh and @purplelunarmoth97: Had sex in public?::  no98: Played on a sports team?::  MARCHING BAND IS A SPORT 99: Smoked weed?::  yah100: Did drugs?::  no101: Smoked cigarettes?::  no102: Drank alcohol?::  yah103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?::  I wish104: Been overweight?::  in my opinion105: Been underweight?::  in the doctor’s opinion106: Been to a wedding?::  bitch I been in three smh107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?::  this damn website108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?::  yah109: Been outside my home country?::  no110: Gotten my heart broken?::  yah111: Been to a professional sports game?::  surprisingly yes and I was horribly hungover112: Broken a bone?::  no113: Cut myself?::  not purposely114: Been to prom?::  twice and it was two of the worst nights of my life115: Been in airplane?::  god yes116: Fly by helicopter? ::  no I need Christian Grey lulz

117: What concerts have I been to? Cheetah Girls, Hannah Montana, Rascal Flatts, Metallica, Paramore, Amos Lee x3, Carole King and James Taylor, Mason Jennings, Ed Sheeran, Taylor Swift, Guns N Roses, Keith Urban, I think that’s it

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?::  nah119: Learned another language?::  ugh I'm trying it’s so hard120: Wore make up?::   every damn day hoe121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?::  I feel attacked122: Had oral sex?::  I feel very attacked123: Dyed my hair?::  so many times124: Voted in a presidential election?::  yes125: Rode in an ambulance?::  yes126: Had a surgery?::  yes127: Met someone famous?::  yes128: Stalked someone on a social network?:: psshhh 129: Peed outside?:: peeing in bodies of water is one of the great joys of my life130: Been fishing?:: yah131: Helped with charity?:: yah132: Been rejected by a crush?:: indirectly and directly133: Broken a mirror?::  it was awful that’s why I'm cursed134: What do I want for birthday?::  a big booty hoe135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?::  I want probably three. Okay for a girl: Dixie Lee, Tennessee Lily, (she will go by Lily) for a boy: Bennie James (Jim) 136: Was I named after anyone? ::  a Sandra Bullock character137: Do I like my handwriting?::  sometimes 138: What was my favourite toy as a child?::  Full House139: Favourite Tv Show?::  The Office140: Where do I want to live when older?::  in a state of happiness141: Play any musical instrument?::  the piano142: One of my scars, how did I get it?::  I had surgery143: Favourite pizza toping?::  cheese or pepperoni144: Am I afraid of the dark?:: idk kinda145: Am I afraid of heights?::  yes 146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?::  yes lmao147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?::  lol my life148: What I'm really bad at::  being a human149: What my greatest achievments are::  this horrible blog150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me::  can’t repeat it151: What I'd do if I won in a lottery::  give it all to charity after buying bomb ed tickets152: What do I like about myself::  I make other people happy153: My closest Tumblr friend:: um probably @knox-on-eds-wood or @tea-and-toblerones154: Something I fantasise about::  being a stay at home mom to Ed Sheeran’s baby155: Any question you'd like? I do not like them but don’t actively dislike them

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YEAR IN MUSIC 2017 12/26/2017

The 20 Best R&B Songs of 2017: Critics’ Picks

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From left: SZA, Frank Ocean & Childish Gambino

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While hip-hop and dance stayed at pop music’s center in 2017, R&B managed seep its way into the mainstream, in ways both satisfying and unpredictable.

Thanks to a couple too-good-to-ignore crossover hits, and a quasi-reinvention from one of pop’s biggest stars, R&B was an increasingly regular presence on top 40 radio throughout the year. And with several of the genre’s most promising talents percolating just below the surface, the genre’s slow trickle into the 2017 mainstream could lead to a full-on tidal wave in the years to come.  

Here are Billboard’s 20 favorite R&B songs of 2017.

20. PARTYNEXTDOOR, “Peace Of Mind”

OVO Sound’s resident sad-boy R&B songsmith stayed busy in 2017, releasing two EPs of material. “Peace of Mind,” from COLOURS 2, had the most staying power, standing out from the pack for its frank songwriting and straight-to-the-point hook. “I did crazy things and she still waited on me” is the sort of lyric you recognize in your chest. — ROSS SCARANO

19. Jazmine Sullivan & Bryson Tiller, “Insecure”

Featured on the season two soundtrack of the popular HBO series of the same name, this mid-tempo track showcases two of contemporary R&B’s game-changing players. Sullivan’s soaring-voiced dismay at her significant other’s insecurities provides the perfect counterpoint to Tiller’s crooning tenor. — GAIL MITCHELL

18. Toni Braxton, “Deadwood”

The voluptuous-voiced singer prefaces her upcoming eighth studio album with this left-of-center, guitar-driven track about a complicated romance. The feel of the melodic cut and its piercing lyrics portend what’s in store on Toni’s forthcoming Sex & Cigarettes LP. As the R&B legend told The Insider in September, “I wanna say what I feel. I don’t wanna be censored.” — G.M.

17. August Alsina, “Don’t Matter”

Not everything is alt-R&B. Nola’s August Alsina released this perfectly The-Dream-indebted single in June and real ones haven’t let it leave the rotation since. With a chorus anchored by those familiar cries of “Ay!” “Don’t Matter” is like home cooking. You’ve been here before and it’s nice to be back. — R.S.

16. Ty Dolla $ign feat. Damien Marley & Skrillex, “So Am I”

One of the few Ty Dolla-graced singles this year not to hedge its bets with some sort of ’90s hit interpolation, “So Am I” probably could’ve worked in some Inner Circle or something if the singer-producer was really determined to maintain brand consistency. But it doesn’t need it: The song’s hypnotic beachside bounce (assisted by Skrillex, apparently on permanent dubstep vacation) is warmly evocative of the dancehall crossovers of 20 years ago on its own, while its squawking pseudo-drop keeps it rooted in 2017 without sounding so trendy to risk Airport Reggae drubbing. — ANDREW UNTERBERGER

15. Sevyn Streeter, “Before I Do”

Is a potential lover for real or not? That’s the question Sevyn Streeter asks on this standout track from her Girl Disrupted debut album. The singer’s sultry vocals glide over a mellow groove that effortlessly recalls Aaliyah’s cover of the Isley Brothers’ classic “At Your Best (You Are Love)” — never a bad thing. — G.M.

14. H.E.R., “Free”

Long after the last note has sounded on this aching ballad, H.E.R.’s haunting vocals on the confessional chorus still linger: “You don’t ever say forever / Layin’ next to me / But nights like this I wish I never / Said that I was free.” — G.M.

13. Kelela, “Frontline”

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With “Frontline,” Kelela recorded the special opening track that’s so good, so purposeful, it could’ve been the album’s closer too. The song has so many parts, so many musical ideas, it feels like a movie — you’ve gone on a journey by the time it finishes. And yet it never feels overstuffed or scatterbrained; this is a breakup song that leaves you feeling refreshed, like you can do anything. “Why are you testing me?” she asks rhetorically. She’s got the answer spring-loaded: “I’m not the one.” — R.S.

12. Syd, “Got Her Own” 

On this understated highlight from her Fin album, Syd soulfully extols admiration — and longing — for a female peer who’s crushing it in terms of financial independence. “Heard she drive a Beemer and she got it on her own,” Syd sings on the yearning chorus. “Heard she was a dreamer but she sleeping all alone / I just wanna meet her ’cause I just wanna know.” — G.M.

11. Jeremih feat. Chris Brown & Big Sean, “I Think of You”

With “This Is How We Do It” being played out at seemingly every karaoke night and ’90s-themed party of the 21st century, a shift in retro-attention to Montell Jordan’s second-best hit, “Get It On Tonite,” has been long overdue. Luckily, Jeremih remembers: His “I Think of You” is as close a tribute to the 1999 hit’s slinking groove and frisky energy as you can get without risking lawsuit. It’s so much fun that Big Sean can’t help but sneak in a guest verse at the last second. — A.U.

10. Jacquees, “B.E.D.”

Cash Money jumped into the R&B bigtime in 2017 with this explicit anthem from Jacquees, using Avant’s 2003 R&B/pop hit “Read My Mind” as the song’s springboard. The young crooner told Billboard of the lift, “I started singing [the Avant hook] over the beat. We knew it was going to be a hit the moment we heard it.” — G.M.

9. Jessica Ware, “Midnight”

Nothing could’ve quite prepared Jessie Ware fans for the towering power balladry of “Midnight,” the lead track on third album Glasshouse, which essentially throws the curtains open on her earlier sensual slow jams to bathe them in jarringly bright moonlight. Over an insistent Prince-via-“Bennie and the Jets” stomp, the British singer-songwriter wails with increasing urgency, “This moment is made for you and I to go higher – higher – HIGHER – HIGHER!,” before pulling back to calmly plead “…can you meet me in the midnight?” Lord help you if the answer’s no. — A.U.

8. Frank Ocean, “Chanel”

“My guy pretty like a girl/ And he got fight stories to tell” might be the best opening couplet of the year. That it signaled Frank Ocean’s renewed commitment to releasing music made it all the sweeter. Frank didn’t ghost on us in 2017 and of the loosies he released, “Chanel” felt the most essential to his evolving story. It laid out the themes he’d explore in the year’s subsequent releases and featured some of his most evocative writing to date. “I know you need to try for my belt,” he sings in a tone that lets you know the competition is zilch. Seeing both sides is good and all but there’s no point in arguing about Frank’s place at the top of the game. — R.S.

7. Miguel, “Told You So”

The second single from Miguel’s War & Leisure harkens back to the singer/songwriter’s ‘80s-inspired EP series Art Dealer Chic. On this funky turn, Miguel dishes out multiple intentions: Is he talking to a lover or jabbing a finger at the country’s present and past social unrest? Both situations are depicted in the song’s video. Either way, the song ultimately reveals Miguel’s adeptness at delivering sly-yet-resonant messages. — G.M.

6. Daniel Caesar feat. Kali Uchis “Get You”

Perhaps more than any other genre, R&B produces songs that feel instantly timeless, like you’ll be hearing them at weddings for generations to come as love springs eternal. “Get You,” Daniel Caesar’s collab with Kali Uchis is a gentle ode to romantic luck. “Who would’ve thought I’d get you?” Caesar sings on the hook, expressing neatly that dumbstruck feeling we all hope lasts forever. — G.M.

5. SZA, “The Weekend”

You know you’ve got something when a Grammy winner does an impromptu cover of your song. But even before Miguel’s riveting version (and its top 15 status on Billboard’s Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs tally), “The Weekend” was among the stellar tracks singled out by critics when SZA released debut album Ctrl. The track samples “Set the Mood (Prelude)” from Justin Timberlake’s 2006 album FutureSex/LoveSounds, but it’s all about SZA here, as her soft, emotive voice searingly conveys the conundrum of sharing a boyfriend with other females: “My man is my man is your man, heard it’s her man, too.” – G.M.

4. Childish Gambino, “Redbone”

“Redbone” achieved its No. 12 peak on the Billboard Hot 100 over half a year after its debut, and unlike some stupefying chart slow-burns, this one actually made sense: The narcotic creep of Childish Gambino’s first true crossover hit initially lands as “above-average P-Funk tribute,” proving itself something timely and unique only many listens later. Luckily, pop culture gave us the opportunity for the necessary exposure, as the song was ultimately revealed to be equally fit for a Twitter makeout meme as a foreshadowing musical cue in a horror comedy, simultaneously seductive and foreboding and just infectious. Without “Redbone,” Glover is still likely known in the U.S. as an actor with a musical side career, with the undeniable soul smash, he’s one of the most-nominated artists at this year’s Grammys. — A.U.

3. Khalid, “Location”

The takeover began here. Pop upstart Khalid’s debut single “Location” makes magic from a contemporary dating request. The Kylie Jenner cosign surely helped but the song’s appeal is broad, even if the lyrics get specific to this phone-dependent generation. — R.S.

2. DJ Khaled feat. Rihanna & Bryson Tiller “Wild Thoughts”

Here’s another perfect example of updating a classic vibe. Carlos Santana’s 1999 No. 1 pop and R&B hit “Maria Maria,” featuring The Product G&B, provides the foundation for DJ Khaled’s blast-from-the-past refresher course. Santana’s scorching guitar riffs fittingly underscore the sexual heat and wild thoughts radiating from Rihanna and Bryson Tiller’s ingenious pairing. — G.M.

1. Bruno Mars, “That’s What I Like”

As with his guest appearance on Mark Ronson’s Grammy-winning “Uptown Funk,” the similarly Hot 100-besting “That’s What I Like” added another mega-hit to Bruno Mars’ repertoire. A deft balancing act between retro and contemporary R&B with an earworm hook, “That’s What I Like” rightly became one of the most ubiquitous songs of 2017. The midtempo groove (co-written by Mars along with Christopher Brody Brown, James Fauntleroy and Philip Lawrence, plus production/songwriting team the Stereotypes), is also a multiple Grammy contender: up for song of the year, best R&B song and best R&B performance. — G.M.

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