#time to become abi soup

[abiabiabiabiabi]

how's your weekend going, yesterday I suddenly came down with a stomach bug at the top of ilkley moor

[gingernastyy]

Arthur:

Arthur hasn’t really taken too much thought about the idea of being a father. He has this constant residual fear that no matter what he did he would end up just like his dad.

His dad was an outlaw and Arthur got roped into the life because of him and Arthur is sure that if he had a kid they’d be dragged into the life too.

Being with Mary changes his mind. He felt like maybe he could do the father thing. The way she talks about running away together gives him the hope of having a better life. He could see them having a nice place with a fence, with a dog that lazily lays on the porch and a couple of kids running around.

He swears if it can become true he would be a better dad than his was and would do anything, and he means anything, to protect his kids and Mary.

When they broke up he was devastated. It led him into a life feeling like no one would ever have him, no one would want him to father their kids.

It’s a sad and lonely night of him drinking when he meets Eliza. They start talking before hooking up; a few times from time to time. As harsh as it is she’s a bit of a rebound after Mary. They were friends but he never felt strong enough to marry her. It makes her getting pregnant feel even worse.

When Eliza had Isaac he felt lost and scared for the kid. He knew that his life would endanger the both of them sooner or later. But swore he would do best by Eliza and helped out anyway he could. Then when they were both killed he didn’t know how to cope with it. He repressed everything that happened to them, only a few journal entries talking about what happened. But those entries and the sketches of Eliza and Isaac where in the journal that he lost in a fire.

It’s after Isaac had lived and died that Abigail has Jack. Being around for the time that Abi is pregnant makes him reflect on when Eliza was. God, he wishes he could have been there for Isaac’s birth. He feels guilty for being around when his brother’s kid is born but not there for his own.

As much as he hates John for leaving Jack and Abigail for that whole damn year, he enjoyed stepping back into that fatherly role to help Abi. There was something that felt so natural about taking care of the kid, guess he did picked up some traits from the short time he had with Isaac.

Abigail had questioned him a few times on about how he’s so good with Jack. She swears she’s had to tell almost everyone who’s held him to support his neck but not Arthur. He bounces and sways while holding Jack that calms him down that she believes that there is no way that it’s the first time that Arthur has held a baby.

A part of him thinks he should propose to Abigail to make up for not marrying Eliza but he knows that it won’t make amends for what had happened. Besides he’s too caught up on Mary and Abigail is to in love with Marston that he knows he will be turned down.

When/if he gets out of the life he considers adopting. Even if he can’t find someone to marry, he’s okay with being a single dad. He’s also happy to adopt if it’s the only way he and his partner couldn’t physically have kids. He feels like Hosea would be proud of him for helping out a kid like Hosea and Dutch did for Arthur (though he would want to avoid the outlaw part). He knows going through the legal system would be challenging with the price on his head but if he found a kid like Hosea found John and himself, he’d gladly take them in as he own.

He finds himself to be a tough and not really an emotional guy but having his newborn baby and the first time his thumb is grabbed by that itty bitty hand he damn near cries.

Years of being an outlaw has been beneficial for one thing... when the baby cries Arthur is able to get up right away. Late at night he’s the one who wakes to change diapers or calm nightmares. He’ll put himself to exhaustion to let his partner sleep.

Usually he falls asleep on the couch or a chair after rocking his baby back to sleep, baby on his chest and his hand on the little ones back.

He’s very supportive of creativity- especially as an artist himself.“Pa and me” or the full family sketches are tucked in the front cover of his journal. He wants those drawings to be the closest thing to him. He always makes sure to tell his kiddo that they’re doing a real good job and are already better at drawing than he is.

Play wrestling and piggy back rides are what he’s great at. He’s always asked to do or straight up just climbed on until one or the other happens.

Luckily he’s taught a kid how to ride a horse before so he feels pretty confident in teaching his own. If he could teach Jamie to ride his horse, with his thousands of questions, he feels he can teach his own kid(s).

Teaching his kid(s) to read and write is much harder than Hosea ever made it seem when he was teaching John and Jack.

He wishes that grandpa Hosea could meet his family. There are nights he looks to the sky and wonders if he’d be proud of him, getting out of the life and having a couple of kids of his own. He knows that Hosea had wanted that for Arthur for so many years.

As bad as he thinks he is at hunting and fishing he’d want to teach his kid(s) how to do both. It’s always good to know how to handle a gun and also know basic survival technics. He’ll mumble a side comment about wishing that Kieran could be there; he was always better at fishing but say it was nothing if he was asked about it.

He would go a little into the overprotective category. If someone was threatening his kid(s) he would get real quiet with the person, put his hand on their shoulder and get close. He would explain how he has killed before, has enjoyed doing so in most cases, and if they don’t leave his baby alone, he will find plenty of enjoyment killing this person.

Hosea:

Bessie and Hosea had always talked about having kids. They just were never sure when would be the right time, if there ever really is a right time when you’re a couple of outlaws.

Hosea jokes that maybe raising John and Arthur could be in a way, a test run before they have some of their own. They’re already almost fully grown so they could skip past the diaper phase and “terrible twos” and if anything could blame Dutch for the way they turn out.

Teaching John how to read really told Hosea that he does have the patience to have kids. He loves that boy dearly but it took a lot of work to get him to even focus to be able to educate him.

When Hosea and Bessie left the gang for awhile they set up in the Grizzlies East. During this time they tried to start their own family. If they were going to have kids it would be the time to do so. But either there was something with him or with her, or just unfortunate luck, they could never seem to get pregnant.  

When Hosea drifts back into the outlaw life they have moment of agreeing that maybe it was the best that they weren’t able to have a kid, as much as it devastates them both.

Hosea wishes that Bessie was still around by the time that Abigail has Jack. He knows she would have loved that kid like her own. She surely would have spoiled the hell out of that kid not that Hosea is any better.

He’s definitely had a moment when looking at the photograph of him and Bessie that he thinks that even though they weren’t fortunate to raise their own kids, but they skipped right to being grandparents.

As a father, Hosea is kind, patient and always there for his kid(s). He saw his father about three times in his life and would want to be there for his kids to make up the time he feels he didn’t have with his own dad.

As the comedian he is, or thinks he is, Hosea would be the dad who can’t pass up a good dad joke. He’d tell one about “you know the best way to catch a fish? Put your line in the water.” He would have to bring up the time that Arthur was suppose to go fishing and brought back a fish from the market, claiming he’d caught it and then next time that Hosea and Dutch when in town the store clerk asked Arthur how that fish that he bought was. Hosea we’ll find any opportunity to laugh at Arthur about it.

Hosea is the best at storytelling. He would tell his kid(s) stories every night. He’s able to work those years of stage acting into the voices he uses during his storytelling.

He and Bessie were always fans of playing dominos so he would want to show his kid(s) how to play. He’d often bring up how he always accused her of cheating during playing because she was that good. Arthur, though taught by her, didn’t seem to have her luck with the tiles.

On sick days he’s getting medicine, soup, crackers, pulling out blankets and whatever will help his kid.

He wants what is best for his kid(s) but also encourages them to write their own path. They can be whatever they like if they set their minds to it. No matter what, his love is unconditional and he wants to see them do their own thing.

Dutch:

Dutch is a hard one when it comes to being a father. He wants a kid to enlighten them with his wisdom, to show them everything he knows. At the same time having a newborn with all that crying and loosing sleep, especially being the leader of a gang, doesn’t sound ideal. Toddlers tend to be very... sticky, which he wouldn’t be a fan of either.

He would want to have a kid, much like John and Arthur were already functioning on their own that he can already start having conversations with, being able to teach them how to fish, shoot, and talk about the injustices in the world around them.

If he had a kid, like about a toddler in age, he would read them Evelyn Miller and explain, even though it would be going over this kid’s head, that ���what Mr. Miller is saying is... “

Dutch values an education but has little patience when trying to teach. Even with John and Arthur, Hosea did more when it came to helping them learn how to read and write.

He’d be less of dad that says “I love you’s” and more often be the one that says “I’m proud of you”

He would be able to playful tease his kid and his competitive side would be great when they get old enough to race and play poker.

His relationship with Annabelle was really the only time he considered having a kid of his own. He loved that women and if she wanted a child he would figure out a plan for way for them to have a kid.

He thinks that maybe once they are able to get one good robbery that when they leave to New York or Tahiti, where ever they may land that he considers the idea of starting a family.

[nicholay1124]

# Who is / isn't Jew in biblical term? (Ver.8)

‘Jew' in English language is today used very widely without knowing its true meaning. So, many people, even Jews don't understand properly its origin. English bibles translated 'Yehudi (species of Yehud)' as "Jew". That's the problem.

Therefore, I have to explain you what 'Yehudi' is really in Biblical sense, so that you should know the difference among 'Yehudi' & Jew & Children of Israel.

<'Yehudi'? Or People of Judah? Not Children of Israel?>

The point is :

"Why nobody called people of Judah as 'Yehudim' until the time of Babylonian invasion?"

... If you believe that 'Yehudi' is purely Judah's descendant, it would be strange. Many people & Jews assume it's same. But in reality, not so. Such an example exists in the Bible.

For instance, Benjamin (son of Jacob) & "Ben Yamin" are not same. If you read the episode of Shimei in 2 Samuel 16:5-13 & 19:16-23, you'll know how to be used the phrase "Ben Yamin". It never literally means biological son of Benjamin. It's a title of brave for justice. Same is 'Yehudi' & Sons of Judah. It is distinct how & when to use 'Yehudim' or 'Bani / 'Am / Enashim / Ish Yehudah'.

"Hanani, one of my brothers, been arrived with 'mankind' from Judah (Hbr: Enashim mi Yehudah), and I (Nehemiah) was continuously questioning them about the remnant of Yehudim (Hbr: Ha Yehudim) who had survived out of the exile and about Jerusalem." [Nehemiah 1:2 (my translation from Hebrew)]

... Interestingly, people from Judah is described 'Enosh (nuanced "weak mortal Human")' against 'Ha Yehudim" the super Human.

In the Old Testament (OT; Tanakh), people of Judah is always written 'Bani (sons) / 'Am (people) / Ish (man) Yehudah' as same as "Children of Israel (Bani Israel)". 'Enashim' is rarely used due to its nuance. So Nehemiah 1:2 looks strange for frequent Hebrew Bible readers. Not normal case. It's not that people of Judah asked people of Judah.

So it's clear that Yehudites are not people of Judah.

If you believe it's same, I'd say why people from Judah didn't say in Nehemiah 1:3 that "we" are suffering when Nehemiah had asked them about "Ha Yehudim". It indicates that "Ha Yehudim" are at least not direct category of Judah or another specific group there, right?

Look moreover at spellings.

1, Yehudi : Y + H + W + D + Y (Yehud + Y; Species of Yehud)

2, Yehudah (Judah) : Y + H + W + D + H (actually, Jehovah including D: Dedication, Love, something Special, chosen)

... The critical difference is that "Yehudi" doesn't have Jehovah, but Judah has it. Not only spellings. The tribe of Esau is made by Judith (Yehudith) the Canaanite while Judah left his sinful brothers who cruelly wanted to kill Joseph and tried to build family with Canaanite women but failed under Jehovah's interfering and subsequently made kids with Tamar (Genesis 38) who would later become the royal line for David.

I quoted above the name of Judith from Genesis 37:26. She is the key role of this issue. Here I put a critical verse for it.

<True language for the Holy Text>

... 2 King 18 narratives that Hezekiah's 3 agents asked Rabshakeh not to speak "Yehudith" but Aramaic. That's strange. CSB translated it "Hebrew", but 'Ha 'Avri' never occur in this verse. It's "Yehudith".

Rabshakeh is a royal spokesman from King of Assyria. He should know Aramaic but not Hebrew, IF YOU BELIEVE THAT HEBREW IS THE ORIGINAL LANGUAGE OF JEWS. So now raises the question.

Why Assyrian originated person can speak "Jew's language"?

If you believe that "Judaean / Hebrew" is the only one language for so-called Jewish or Israelites, this belief would be wrong. Rabshakeh exactly can speak this Judaean (Read 2 King 18:26-28). So let's see the spelling of Judith the wife of Esau.

... Surprising? Yes, it's completely same! Read also Nehemiah 13:23-24.

... See that Yehudim's language is Judith! This translation "Hebrew" is totally wrong.

So what is language of Judith? It's the Canaanite language.

Historically, Canaanites are Phoenician whose activity place was through Mediterranean to Aegean Seas (Check also Numbers 13:29, Deuteronomy 1:7, Joshua 5:1). And Paleo-"Hebrew" is the oldest written language for the Jewish Bible (Tanakh). What is Paleo-Hebrew? It's a variant of Phoenician! So you obtained the answer now.

"Yehudith" = Judith's = Canaanite = Phoenician = Paleo-"Hebrew" = Jew's language

So it's normal that Assyrian tribe may speak Phoenician.

Then, these factors strongly prove that the author(s) of Tanakh should be the Canaanite / Phoenician tribe. Therefore, "original Hebrew language" never existed. Seeing Abraham & Isaac's stance "Never take Canaanites wives", it is impossible that Jehovah's people who believes and follows this tradition would wish to write own holy text from god in Canaanite language!

On the other side, today's so-called Hebrew language is actually Aramaic-linked variant. So it's normal, too that people of Israel can understand Aramaic. In fact, it was Aramaic which had been a common language among Semitic people because Abraham's clan is originally Chaldean. Babylonian Talmud is written after exile by Aramaic with Mishnah "Hebrew" which is actually Canaanite based.

Then, you might be harsh to say that Esau's tribe is the true "Jewish people"? My answer is "kinda yes". Let's analyze it further.

<Conditions of Yehudi; Judith & her background>

Finally, you know that oldest Jewish language is actually coming from the tribe of Judith who is Esau's wife. If you carefully read in Hebrew about her linkages, you may know what it is exactly.

First of all, the word 'Judith' means "praised". Then, Esau & she later changed own names to Edom ("Red"; or Adam) & Oholibamah ("Tent / Dwelling / Home of high place"). According to these factors, we may imagine that Judith is a woman of high-rank among her clan.

The question "Judith is really Oholibamah?" is later confirmed by her parent name Anah & Beeri.

The point we should focus on is that Anah the parent of Oholibamah / Judith (Yehudith) is mentioned both as son & daughter! (Genesis 36:2, 14, 20, 24) Torah's author is showing this symbolism of Elohim ("Creator" God) model who have 2 genders. The original Adam in Genesis 1:27 was designed as male & female (because he was God's copy). Unity of 2 pairs.

This symbolism is used also for righteous king Hezekiah (Hbr: Yuhizeqiyahu) who miraculously could restore Israel & Judah to unite each other. His mother's name is Abih ("Father of Ya") / Abi ("My father").

So the Holy text readers in Hebrew well know this type of hint that the author of Torah used to drop.

Adam & Eve (Hbr: Havah) ate the fruits from forbidden tree and started to cover own self by tree leaves (Genesis 3:7, 3:21). Esau was also covered full of red hair like coat (read later the meaning of Seir: same concept) in the birth moment (Genesis 25:25). Both are biblically sinful. However, Esau rejected his sinful fathers & their traditions by bitter emotion from Spirit (Hbr: Ruah; unlike Nephesh, this type of Spirit is God-associated) and married the daughter of Beeri / Anah who has inner female & male. Then, his clan became "Edom / Adam".

... Interesting?

*Condition of Yehudi : Deny own sinful family & traditions for justice *Condition of Yehudi : Godly Spirit to hate the Evil & unfairness

When Esau had being born, Jacob (Hbr: Yaaqob) was grasping his heel (Hbr: 'Aqeb). This scene recalls us Genesis 3:15 ;

"Seed (Hbr : Zera) of Woman / Mother shall seek to crash Snake's head and Seed of Snake shall aim to attack the heel"

This destiny of twin is exactly planned by Jehovah against Jacob & Esau (Genesis 25:23). In fact, they got separated by the conflict & jealousy due to Isaac's discrimination.

Grasping the heel of Esau reflects the nature of Jacob as a Seed of Snake, so Esau should be a Seed of Woman. But he is a male. Elohim model!

*Condition of Yehudi : Having male & female (inner selves, names, roles; not literally)

Then, he became "Edom (Adam + vow letter; true Adam?)" to reject the old name Esau ("hairy") which his sinful father Isaac had given him and his Canannite wife Judith (Yehudith; the first one of "Yehudi") became the "tabernacle / dwelling of higher place".

*Condition of Yehudi : Erasing the birth name

This Species of "Yehudi" is the Seed of restored sinless Adam with unity of 2 pairs (female & male, left & right handed, etc) who have the power to crash Evil.

*Condition of Yehudi : No original sin or fixed (Godly person who love harmony and avoid sins)

Note that it was Esau who has forgiven Jacob. The right of inheritance for sinful tribe is not important for him. Red haired mighty man prefers Red foods to satisfy himself (Genesis 25:25-30) and became true "Red (Edom / Adam)" by rejecting own family and marrying the foreign race.

*Condition of Yehudi : Red-haired *Condition of Yehudi : Loving Red foods (Ex: red soup)

Read also Jeremiah 40:11-12.

... Yehudites used to live in other tribes or countries as same as Jews in our world, contrary to the House of Israel & Judah who preserve the ethnicity & nationalism under Jehovah's religion. Yehudites are not belonging to this House. That's the critical difference. Esau & his clan didn't practice Abrahamic traditions (Ex: sacrifice, circumcision, Altar worship, burying own kins to Hebron / Kirjath-Arba : the City of Giant Anak!!), nor commit the unclean life to set apart among gentiles (Ezra 9:1-2 shows that Edomites are not included in "Goyim List" who taint the Holy Seed). In Daniel 1, 3 Yehudites & Daniel avoided the king palace's foods and took the food controls not to be defiled (Also read Ezra 9:11-12).

*Condition of Yehudi : Marrying or living with foreign races *Condition of Yehudi : Not following nationalism or fascism *Condition of Yehudi : Not joining to Jehovah's religion (Ex: sanctifying by blood) *Condition of Yehudi : Keeping clean lifestyle *Condition of Yehudi : Taking care of healthy foods ("Kosher") not to get defiled

... Look further at the details of Judith's background.

Anah's father is Zibeon (Tsib'on; sounds similar to Simeon) which means "coloured". He is a Hivite ("villager") whose origin is derived from the word "Havah (Eve: Adam's wife)". Eve is the mother of ALL THE LIVING (not only for human). In fact, this linkage is Seir ("hairy" or rough mountain as if clothed by trees like hairs; recall Esau and Eden story in Genesis 3:7 & 3:21); the Horites who are Cave dwellers. These names exactly indicate what they are really. Imagine.

Interestingly, it was Anah who had found the spring in Genesis 36:24 as same as Hagar for Beer-Sheba (later Simeon's territory) in 21:14-21. Genesis 26:34 also shows that Judith is the daughter of Beeri ("My Well / Spring"). So Shekinah Glory is with this linkage (The difference is that Hagar found the lifeline water in desert with help of God's messenger while Anah found it by him/herself; Know that spring & fountain are associated with Eye of God or Divine Jacob in the OT, for example Ezra 5:5, Deuteronomy 33:28). Shekinah is always there, while Lord God used to come and disappear. Remember that in the stories of Joseph, Esther, Ezra & Nehemiah, Lord God don't speak nor appear. But Joseph, Mordecai & his fellows are invincible and protected by people. And it was only Yehudites under God's Eye who restarted to build Jerusalem despite the threats of enemies (Ezra 5:5). God is with 'Yehudi' (Zechariah 8:23).

*Condition of Yehudi : Shekinah (lifeline protection) without prayer

Later, Sons of Esau chased away Horites the cave dwellers and destroyed them (Deuteronomy 2:12 & 2:22) as the Seed of Woman crashing the head of Snake. They eliminated these monstrous ancestors as if denying own evil background and built the new settlement on there.

*Condition of Yehudi : Seed of Woman / Mother (not always biologically) to crash Evil

Such a passion, dedication to justice is shown in Mordecai. It was him who had leaked the Persian king through Esther about the assassination plan against him. So Yehudites should be the people of Justice. In fact, under the order of Esther & Mordecai, Jews destroyed own enemies who conspired Evil but didn't steal their goods, because they're fighting for justice & self-defense, not for war nor greed, while Children of Israel used to engage wars to take plunder from enemies in the name of god. You should know that Mordecai & his fellows could steal enemy's money & treasures so that their clan can become more powerful like former Children of Israel. That would be good for them, but didn't do that. Why? The story clearly shows that their aim is the fight for dignity. Think twice.

"Mordecai 'Yehudi' was 2nd (Hbr: Mishneh; sense of imitator or dual) to King Ahasuerus and great among 'Yehudim' and highly esteemed by many of his Brothers by committing the Good for his people and speaking 'Shalom (The well-being, wholeness, health, "perfect" state, harmony or friendliness)' to all his Seed (Hbr: Zera)." [Esther 10:3 (My translation from Hebrew)]

*Condition of Yehudi : Fight for justice, dignity, self-defense or own beloved

The Hebrew word 'Zera' is not really the biological stuff, but also something like talent or DNA heritage. I will explain more about this aspect.

<Tribe name or Talent?>

Esau's offsprings have been living this region Seir including Elath until Aram king Rezin expelled "Yehudites" (2 King 16:6).

... Not Edomites? But Yehudites? So it's the Species of Judith? This naming itself signifies us "Seed of Woman / Mother". Not sons of Esau, but Judith's. They're the pure Seed of Woman / Mother among Edomites (Adam), when the author wrote 'Yehudi(m)'.

Probably, you might get aware that 'Yehudi', 'Hivi', 'Hori', 'Edomi' is not the naming of biological linkage. Tribe name should be only one. So it looks strange that Anah is of Hivite & also Horite, especially in Semitic sense considering only father's bloodlines. So it'd be ideal to determine that these naming is the species, type, category or even trait, not clan's.

Judith's ancestors are monstrous, however Esau the New Adam & his High Tabernacle created the new generations to deny their ancestors and annihilated Seir the Horites. But the Hivites (species of Eve) are remained while Horites never appear after this event. Interesting, right?

So all the Esau's descendants are biologically Yehudites? Unfortunately, No. We should focus on this factor : The author of the Holy Text is not always describing 'Yehudi' for Edomite. In the almost of verses, it is "Edomite" or "Son(s) of Edom / Esau". 'Yehudi(m)' is used in limited aspect. We should consider this factor to distinguish 'Yehudi' with biological son of Esau or Judah. As I mentioned, Judah's descendants are described in almost of case as 'Bani (sons) / 'Am (people) / Ish (man) Yehudah' as same as "Children of Israel (Bani Israel)". So 'Yehudi' is the trait or talented species in Edomites.

By the way, some people might ask "Judith (Yehudith) became Oholibamah. She lost the name 'Yehudi', so she is not Yehudite anymore?" I answer this question.

In the Book of Daniel, there are 3 Jews : Shadrach, Meshach & Abednego. Actually these name are given by the prince of the eunuchs in Babylonian Exile period (Daniel 1:7). Abednego is derived from "servant of god Nabu / Nebo (See Isaiah 46:1)" whose father is Marduk. So Daniel's companion Azariah forcibly got renamed as foreign god's servant, but he & his rest fellows Hananiah & Mishael could survive in the midst of burning fiery furnace (Daniel 3:8-30). So name change never affect the power of Yehudites. Yehudi is always Yehudi even though he/she changed the name. Same is Mordecai ("Worshipper of Mars" or "Marduk's species").

In our real life, your talent will disappear by name change? Of course, no. Heritage is not inherited to all the biological descendants, but its talent is always preserved, if you have the trait. That's it.

*Conclusion : Not all the biological nor religious Jew are 'Yehudim'

... It's the trait. So how many conditions above are fulfilled is the criteria.

The ability of Super Human is described more in the Jewish Bible. I introduce it further now.

<"Ben Yamin"; Pair of Right & Left>

"Ben Yamin" is the title of mighty man with right & left handed. It's not about Benjamin tribe. In Hebrew, spelling is different.

One of the greatest "Ben Yamin" is Ehud the son of Gera (Judges 3:15). Similar name to 'Yehud'.

... He is the son of Gera who is a biologically direct Benjamin's descendant. Not only that. Ehud is "Ben Ha Yamini"; the person of left-handed with right-handed who would save Children of Israel from Moab's oppression.

The story is interesting. Ehud brought 2-edged dagger and put it in his right leg. And took it by left hand to kill the king Moab (Judge 3:21). This episode is absolutely not a random event. The design of the author is reflected. Numerology "2" & pair. His name Ehud is derived from 'Ohad (unity)' & 'Ahad (to unify)'. 'Yehud' is also similar to these words.

These factors show the nature of 'Yehudi' : Balance of Pair, Unity

Jamin (Yamin) is the 2nd son of Simeon (Genesis 46:10). Simeon himself is the 2nd son of Jacob, so "Ben Yamin" is 2-2 as symbolically pair of 2 opposite elements. See also that Jewish Mordecai's ancestor Jair (son of Manasseh, but also Judah's descendant; 1 Chronicles 2:22) served Israel as Judge for 22 years (Judges 10:3).

Interestingly, Simeon is excluded from Moses' "blessing" in Deuteronomy 33. While Israelites are not so successful or have short-term success under Lord Jehovah, "Ben Yamin" & the Seed of "Yehudi" (especially Mordecai & his fellows in the Book of Esther) are invincible. Mordecai's possible ancestor Kish the father of King Saul is also the "Ben Ish Yamin" (1 Samuel 9:1-2).

Shimei (possible ancestor of Mordecai) is also called by David "Ben Yamin" in 2 Samuel 16:11 because David acknowledged Shimei as David's own spiritual son coming from his belly to rebel him for justice and admitted Shimei's brave action as Lord's will. Shimei cursed David, but he forgave Shimei (it means that he rebelled the king to risk life but got saved; Shekinah Glory!).

The OT has many Shimei. In 1 Chronicles 23:9-10, there are 2 Shimei (double-counted). Under righteous Hezekiah, Shimei is the 2nd officer to serve him (2 Chronicles 31:12).

Seeing these factors, we cannot deny that "Ben Yamin" is associated with numerology "2". Moreover, this phrase begins by 2 letters; 'Bet (2nd letter of biblical Hebrew)' & 'Nun (14th letter; it's holy number)' and ends by holy 'Nun' again. The first & last letters of "Ben Jamin" also becomes "BN (Son)" (which means Christ for Christian). 'Ben' itself means holy "2". The phrase "Ben Yamin" has 2 words.

On the other way, Mordecai the hero of Jews is "Ish Yamini (person of Yamin's species)". It begins by 'Aleph (1st letter; symbolism of God)' and ends by 'Yod (10th letter; initial letter of Jehovah)'. So he prevails all the number (1-10). He starts at 1 and at last becomes higher position (10 means higher rank than 1-9). This numerology itself shows his life. It's a progression. Also, he has Elohim & Jehovah as pair (Lord God). He was "2nd (Hbr: Mishneh; sense of imitator or dual) to King Ahasuerus" (Esther 10:3).

... Esther 2:5 described Mordecai in Hebrew "'Yehudy' [...] Ben 'Yaiyr', Ben 'Shime'iy', Ben 'Kiysh' : 'Iysh Yamyny'".

Is this just genealogy? Of course, No. These ancestors are all associated with numerology "2". Then, he is a "Man of Yamin (right-handed with left handed)".

In Semitic languages, the term "Man of Right-hand" signifies successful person or great one. So right-handed with left-handed is not only symbolical state of pair but also simply the mighty man who can handle the difficulty with 2 arms.

The word 'Esau' has similar meaning. It's apparently a form of the passive participle of verb 'Asah (to do, fashion, make, accomplish, etc)' in the original sense of handling; rough. Struggling, but talented.

The concept of Super Human 'Yehudi' reflects these elements. It is easy to realize how vulnerable & unstable life the Children of Israel was. They had temporarily success but couldn't keep it all the time. Lord God are not always caring about their lives (they don't have Shekinah Glory). They're inheriting the traditions of Abraham & Moses, however their spirits are so weak to temptations (It's 'Nephesh'!).

So you might ask "Why failed? What was wrong? What is the condition?" Let's analyze the consequences & Babylonian exile events now.

<One history, Two witnesses>

Books of Kings & Chronicles have same historical records, although it has different details. Why different? Which is the liar? That's the point.

Of course, we should consider the possibility of mistakes or errors by scribes. But according to my research, this "contradiction" is aimed by the author.

The Bible is Word of God & Holy Text. But this DOESN'T MEAN THAT ALL THE STATEMENT OF EACH VERSE SPEAK FACTS. The Bible is truly the riddle and great provocation. We have to see the cause & result in each episode to think "Why?" That's God's challenge to us. The one who is not doubting the brutality nor seek true God would be entrapped by literal story which promote the bloody religion for success and would be destroyed by own greed. Both the OT & NT are so designed.

Why different? Let's pick up the example of case after Aram expelled Yehudites from Elath and see what's next. The details are not same between 2 Kings & 2 Chronicles. I write the summary about it below :

Book of 2 Chronicles (Ephraim side) : The king of Aram attacked Ahaz's dynasty to deport people in Judah and Pekah killed 120, 0000 people; all the "Sons of Brave" (Hbr: Bnei Hayl; men of "Force") in Judah. Yehudites are not found here. Israelites captured the people of Judah. The prophet Oded lectured them not to enslave their own brothers & sisters. Israelites changed the minds and helped them to send Jericho. Then, Edomites came to Judah to capture. Philistines, too. But after that, sinful Ahaz died and his son Hezekiah (Hbr: Yuhizeqiyahu) miraculously restored Israel & Judah to unite each other. His mother's name is Abih ("Father of Ya") / Abi ("My father"). The female has male name (model of Elohim). No mentioned about killing or capturing Edomites / Yehudites. Then, Assyria's servants came by Yehudith language to deceive & threaten people in Jerusalem (it means there are Yehudites). But Jehovah sent agents to annihilate the army of Assyria and its king got killed by his own children. Moreover, Moses' Torah got found from the Temple to restore the Laws of Jehovah. Then, Babylon came to Judah, but not so cruel. Jehovah is quite merciful and used to send agents to convince His people to repent, while they were not listening. Finally, His wrath got stirred up to send horribly brutal Chaldean army to steal everything, kill the people, destroy the Temple & Jerusalem. But the story ends by mentioning the hope of Persian king Cyrus to save Israel.

Book of 2 King (Judah's side) : The king of Aram Rezin expelled Yehudites from Elath (former Edom's territory), then Assyria killed Rezin and captured Damascus to deport its people (Aramean) into Qirah. However, the Kingdoms of Israel & Judah started to be enslaved & deported by Assyria, which then brought foreigners to Samaria (Main land for Kingdom of Israel) in order to taint its holy place. Even righteous Hezakiah (Hbr: Yuhizeqiyahu) could not stop Assyria from capturing & destroying Judah. Later, Jehovah avenged Assyria, but didn't completely annihilated all their force. One more righteous king Josiah came to restore Torah traditions, but he couldn't change Jehovah's decision to remove Israel & Judah (2 King 23:26-27). Not only Babylon also Chaldean, Aramean, Moabite, & Ammonite armies (but not Edomites) came to Judah due to sins of king Manasseh. The consequence is terribly worse than stories of 2 Chronicles. Almost of people in Judah got deported to Babylon. But Ishmael & his 10 men killed Babylonian watcher Gedaliah, Yehudites & Chaldeans and escaped to Egypt. And in the end of the story, sinful traitor Jehoiachin who had sold his own people & treasures got released from prison by a new king of Babylon.

... How do you detect the difference?

In the side of 2 Chronicles, Yehudites are not killed. After the righteous guide of the Prophet Oded, people of Israel & Judah repented to unite together. Then, Edomites (possibly, including Yehudites) came to cause the hunting in Judah and took the captivity. No direct mentioning that Edomites killed sons of Judah (Read 28:17 in Hebrew). Then, the miracle works of Hezekiah accomplished. Babylon came, but in soft manner. Jehovah used to warn people so that He can avoid to wipe out Israel & Judah.

On the other side of 2 Kings, Yehudites got expelled by Aram from Elath where had received the restoring work by Azariah the king of Judah (2 Kings 14:21-22). It seems that Edomites & people of Judah were living together there. But after this expulsion of Yehudites, the king of Aram got killed and both Kingdoms of Israel & Judah became vulnerable against foreign forces. Hezakiah couldn't stop Assyria. Although Josiah had restored Torah, Jehovah didn't change the mind to forgive them. The vast numbers of foreign armies destroyed Jerusalem. Almost of people got deported. Many genocides & robbing. Under such circumstances, even Yehudites there got killed by Ishmael and the traitor king Jehoiachin obtained freedom.

... Did you see the difference?

1, When somebody harmed Yehudite, he/she get avenged somehow.

2, When Yehudites are persecuted, the world loses the harmony to increase the conflict.

3, When Yehudites are not protected, Lord God are cold and Children of Israel & Jerusalem become unsafe.

4, When such a protection power of Yehudites is decreased, even other Yehudites become in danger and sinful people get luck.

... Surprising?

You might say "Yehudites are actually the Messaih for Jewish people??" The answer is Yes (but not exactly same with what today's religious Jews define).

Probably, ordinary people couldn't imagine that 'Yehudim' are Divine creatures equal to God, although their appearance is nothing different with ordinary persons. They're not Lord God, however are the Perfect Adam & Super Human. If anyone hurt this living Divine, he/she will "pay the price" to be cursed. On the other way, if anyone welcomed them, he/she & its clan will obtain safe & blessings. Recall the Promises by Lord God to Abraham in Genesis 12:3. Mordecai also has same protection (Esther 6:13, 8:7, 9:1).

You might be afraid and say "Who is Yehudi??" I wrote the conditions already above. One more again, I list up simply below :

{- Primary conditions for Seed of Yehudites: Perfect Adam -}

1, Seed of Woman / Mother to crash Evil (not literally biological female); Heroic figure 2, Godly Spirit against Evil & unfairness 3, Having Male & Female (inner nature, names, roles, etc); Symbol of pair, not literal 4, Name change (by own will to erase the past or forcibly by someone) 5, Denying own sinful kinship & its tradition, even destroying them 6, Deal or Fight for justice, dignity, self-defense or own beloved ones (not for greed) 7, Marrying or living with foreign races 8, Keeping clean lifestyle 9, Eating healthy foods or careful of defiled foods ("Kosher") 10, No original sin (Godly person to love harmony and avoid sins) 11, Not associated with Abraham's religion; Lord God do not interfere to sinless 'Yehudi' 12, Shekinah (Always protected; If anyone attacked, he/she would be revenged) 13, Divine power to bring the blessings for anyone who welcome 'Yehudi'

{- Possible conditions of Yehudites -}

1, "Ben Yamin" (person of right & left-handed); 2 unified mighty power like Elohim 2, Associated with number 2 (Ex: birthday, 2nd position); Symbol of Unity or Harmony 3, Red colored (especially Hair); David is not 'Yehudi', but is ruddy and mighty hero 4, Loving Red coloured foods (Genesis 25:30); Red is associated with Edom / Adam 5, Not embracing nationalism or fascism

... As mentioned you, 'Yehudi' is "Zera" & the trait. However, Esther 8:17 narrated that many people of the land are going to imitate Jews. You may question "So we can become Yehudites??" This is the great theme.

The simple answer is "Kinda yes". 'Yehud' is the species & Heritage. People cannot obtain it by work, if they don't have it potentially. In other words, it is possible that they might "awaken" to 'Yehud' through life events, if their ancestors were Idumean (Edomite). The existence of idumea is academically proved. It's not a legend.

Or, people can literally practice / follow Yehud's model. I wrote the primary conditions above. These are all able to be imitated (except Shekinah & Divine power), while YOU CAN NEVER EVER BECOME CHILDREN OF ISRAEL IF YOU DON'T HAVE THE BLOODLINE OF THEM. That's the biggest difference.

You might say "Isn't that Judaism??" Well, kinda. But today's Judaism as religion is well-organized too much and I don't think we can become 'Yehudi' there. They define "Jewishness" according to their traditions.

For example, Judaism as religion defines Jew as "one who is born from Jewish mother". Of course, this concept is coming from Genesis 3:15. But the problem is that they determine the Seed of Woman / Mother literally. As I explained above, Esau is male but a Seed of Woman / Mother. This combination itself has the very important meaning (Elohim model). Judaism as religion ignores or doesn't consider this factor. So not all of them you would agree.

<Then, Who is not 'Yehudi'?>

Who is 'Yehudi' or not shouldn't be determined by the system. Anyone can say "I'm God's chosen race!" But this is absurd according to Torah's concepts. Everything began from this Book Torah / Tanakh (Bible). How could you know the origin & identity 'Yehudi' without reading it?

If someone believes him/herself to be 'Yehudi' just because the parent said "You're Jewish, because I am a Jew!", it'd mean it's race. That's wrong. Children of Israel are ethnical tribes, while biblical 'Yehudim' are not so. 'Yehudi' is the Man of Justice and Godly person as trait. You cannot buy it by money nor religious conversion.

The term "Jew" is obviously social position : Anyone who has the "Jewish" background would be a Jew. Biblically, Children of Israel & Yehudites are opposite each other. 'Yehudim' are not exactly same with sons of Judah nor even Edomites. This social category "Jew" includes all of them (also Samaritan Jews). Each are very different almost like another race. Some follow ancient Israel's way, some practice religious stuffs, some just read the Bible, some rebel this tradition, some just believe to be one of God's people, or other some even don't care ...

The only common thing is that they have "Jewish" background.

As I already explained, not all the Jew are Yehudites as same as Biblical figures. 'Yehudi' is the trait, so to speak DNA heritage. Unfortunately, not everyone can become 'Yehudi', but we can promote them this wisdom so that they can imitate the way to "become" Yehudites (Esther 8:17). So what is different between Jews & Yehudites?

For instance, the English word 'Jew' doesn't contain D letter & sound. I just wonder if "Torah Bearer" does care about it when someone said "I'm a Jew".

The Arabic word 'Yahu' is used by Muslims for addressing the evil Jew. The regular spelling is actually 'Yahudiya'. Again, without D letter. Do you know why? See some examples of Hebrew words:

Dawd : Love David : The King David Oded : the Prophet Oded who brought unity to Israel & Judah (2 Chronicles 28) Ebed : Servant ...

Semitic letter D essentially has the meanings of "Dedication": Love, Passion to serve, Deserving something Special or Chosen, Separated ...

Be aware why & how the inventor of words 'Jew' & 'Yahu' made it without D. How much important for God's people to keep Love & commitment for justice! Otherwise, they're nothing special to be worth chosen ones ("without D").

While you're a Jew, you can pick up any way to live. But the way of 'Yehudi' is not for everybody's. The true passion to dedicate the Torah culture for wisdom and to seek the true God for genuine faith ... Not everyone want to walk this way. Some are just lazy, some just don't care, other some actually want but cannot in any reason.

Some conspiracy theory sites revealed how the Elite Jews think about ordinary Jews. They're Lesser Jews who just must serve the Elite Jews for higher purposes. Why are the Elite Jews treating them as lesser? Probably, because they're the most close to Torah and know Hebrew language but don't understand its wisdom and even don't care to believe "Abraham is a Jew" without doubt.

Today's term 'Jew' is exactly set by the political concept, especially for gentiles who want to become "Jews" due to personal, religious or political agenda. Ordinary people perceive 'Yehudi' the Super Divine Human as today's Jew. Not exactly. But the Elite Jews are real 'Yehudim'.

If you are 'Yehudi', you would doubt such a political concept above and seek the true God by yourself to reject what humans ("people of the land"; Am Ha 'Arets) preach about god. The society is more important to define you to be a Jew more than your Holy Torah? We have Torah here. Let's read it in order to dedicate the Truth. I am the one who is helping you to understand the mystery of the Holy Text so that you can find the true God's people among you and detect "Synagogue of Satan" who pretend to be God's chosen ones but behave nothing same with true 'Yehudi' or even commit injustice in the name of Jew or god (Caution: I'm not a Christian believer).

Yehudites are truly the Messianic figures. The Messiah is not only one, as many names of it are written in the Bible. Even though one Messiah died, other Messiah around the world should continue enlightening all of us. Each of them might be weak, but their total power is aiming to its goal : The Age to Come; The world of Harmony (Shalom).

... On the other side, I admit that not everybody can become same. Unfortunately, the genius is positioned under 5 % while other 95% cannot reach to this level. Lord God made us like this. They have the responsibility for it. We cannot say "Oh, 95% of populations are garbage and they cannot become Godly like ours! So let's kill them all!!" I'd say that each of them have any talent and can use it, if they want to get higher for better world. Jews are same.

Priests cannot be construction workers and vice versa. If Jews want to serve their religion for Israel, let them do it. But if they're eager to become the genuine 'Yehudi' as Messianic role, let them walk this way. They're the ones who detect the Fake Yehudites who show the bad example by ungodly attitude and disturb the dignity of the true God's people.

30, July, 2019

[taotrooper]

Green thumb

Hey @adragonisburnttree​, it’s your @akayonagiftexchange​ Secret Santa! In the end I managed to get time and inspiration to have your present on time. I hope you enjoy it.

Title: Green thumb (AO3 version) Characters: Zeno, Kaya Ship: see above Genre: ye olde fluff Summary: Based in this little addition from the OAD. Zeno praises Kaya’s skills with plants and distracts her from her work in terrible ways. Sometimes calluses can be better than having none, he believes.

She put the radish on the basket with the other collected vegetables, pensive. "But I'm glad they're healthy, you know. I'm glad that plants don't get the same diseases than humans..."

"Kaya..."

She started to shake and make what seemed like sobbing-like sounds. But when he moved closer to give her a hug, he saw that she was snorting.

"Kaya...?"

"I-I imagined... a tree coughing...!" Giggles.

Zeno came back from the river, his fingertips wrinkled for a fleeting moment as if only they had caught up with the weight of time that avoided his body. The sleeves of his tunic were still rolled up and he hadn't cared to unfold them yet. It was a good day for laundry, as the skies were clear and the sun shined bright on the forest, on the line where the wet clothes were hung, on the golden hair.

On his way back to the hut, he saw Kaya knelt on the ground, working hard. Silently he sneaked behind her back, and he bit his lip while he covered her eyes with the palm of his hands. She shuddered from the surprise and the coldness of his wet hands, but the reaction was gone immediately, replaced by a smile.

"Zeno," Kaya said. The name said in her voice was like the song of a bird: music to his ears.

"Aw, you guessed again!" He moved his hands away, and she looked at him over his shoulder.

"Silly, you're the only person around! And a perfect stranger wouldn't play this game."

"You got me there."

He sat on the sun-kissed ground with his legs crossed, careful not to do it on the crops. He looked at the contents of a basket next to her, then at the girl unearthing a daikon with a strong pull.

"It's so plump!" he said in awe. "They really were ready!"

"Only the radishes and turnips, though. This one's the largest I've ever had!" She grinned with pride. "It's thanks to your boss for giving us seeds."

"But it's thanks to your care that they got to grow so well. You really have a green thumb, Kaya."

She looked at her own hands, confused.

"They're not green. They do look a bit brown with all this earth."

Zeno chuckled. "It's an old expression! Maybe it went out of fashion? It means that someone's good with plants and gardening."

"Oh."

"So yeah, you're talented." He saw her blushing. "I almost ruined your last harvest when I tried to help, but those were healthy and tasty too."

"It's not that amazing. It's just nature and common knowledge. Everyone in my village knew a little farming for living." She put the radish on the basket with the other collected vegetables, pensive. "But I'm glad they're healthy, you know. I'm glad that plants don't get the same diseases than humans..."

"Kaya..."

She started to shake and make what seemed like sobbing-like sounds. But when he moved closer to give her a hug, he saw that she was snorting.

"Kaya...?"

"I-I imagined... a tree coughing...!" Giggles. "And its leaves... would fall off..." More giggles. "Fruit shaking on its br— bran— branches!"

Well, that sort of fit was much better! Her laugh was contagious so he found himself joining.

"Mommy, weren't we going to eat rice for dinner?" Zeno said in the voice of a child. He then replied with the voice of a woman, with a serious tone. "We can't, son. Our bag of rice has the flu." Kaya laughed, and he continued almost unable to restrain the laughter. "I think it —pfft— caught it from the apricots!"

Both of them howled to the verge of tears.

Oh, how fun it was to be with her. How much he loved her. After he stopped, he glanced at her chortles, at the way she was beaming like the sunshine on their heads. Once she calmed down, he boldly grabbed one of her hands just to hold her, to feel her warmth on his cold fingers.

She quickly removed it from his grasp, which shocked him a bit. They were already married and they had held hands many times already.

"Too chilly? The water wrinkles are almost gone by now."

"No..." She seemed embarrassed. "My hands are all dirty and covered with earth."

"So? Why would I mind that?" He tilted his head. "Our house is on the bare ground, we have dust everywhere. I should know, I just did the laundry."

It took her a few seconds to articulate her thoughts. Zeno waited patiently.

"It's just that... You're so well-traveled, Zeno. You told me you've lived in the capital for a while, right? And I imagine a country girl's hands must be so different to the ladies from the big city."

He was still confused.

"Um, how so? How do you imagine a city girl's hands are like?"

"Dunno, all clean and with long nails and... not callous like mine."

She opened her palms upward, to show them. Again, Zeno saw nothing wrong with them, but he thought he understood where Kaya was coming from.

"Nah, it's not like that for most of them. I mean sure, the high society and noble ladies have cleaner hands. But that's just a little fraction of them, you know? There are poor girls and merchant girls and other many girls who work and get dirty a lot, even if they can't farm?

"And you know, I barely know any people with no calluses. Even those rich ladies have like hobbies and things to do that can cause them." He imitated all actions he started to list with his hands and arms. "Those who write a lot, the brush hurts their fingers. Those who embroider and weave. Those who play music. And some even learn how to use weapons!"

She laughed at the way he pretended to play a string instrument or swing a blade. It seemed her worries were over.

"So you don't think a callus is ugly."

"'Course not. If anything, I was often teased and got called lazy for not having calluses myself!"

He also rose his palms, trying not to dwell on the memories of Guen, Abi or Shuten's puzzlement after Zeno's failed sword training. They wouldn't believe he just couldn't form them. He was obviously not working out hard enough.

He must have seemed too lost in thought regardless, because Kaya immediately shook her head.

"But Zeno is the most hardworking guy I know!" she said passionately. "Don't worry, I'm sure you'll grow your own calluses in no time!"

Zeno let out a bark of a cackle. That would be impossible and he knew it. Kaya's cheeks puffed a little like a squirrel's. She probably thought he was laughing at her.

"No, no, you're right," he lied. He phrased his next words carefully so they had a tinge of truth in them. "When I grow older, when I become an elderly man with gray hair and beard, I'll definitely have my hands much bumpier than Kaya's."

Not like the gods would allow that to happen, but if he ever was lifted of this eternal youth he would be able to get plenty of those. Right?

Kaya reached with her own palms stretched until she touched his, fingertips touching, like a mirror's reflection, like a prayer. Her hands were smaller and yet sturdier. The dirt didn't seem to matter to her anymore. After an instant, or perhaps an era, she slid her fingers slightly and bended them between his fingers. Zeno immediately did the same and their hands were interlaced in front of them. He felt his upper cheek getting warmer under the soft, loving look in her eyes for him.

Time stopped and only their touch and the sunshine felt real.

"I do love your hands as they are as well," Kaya finally whispered. "They're so unbelievable soft and it feels so good to hold them. Your skin is just so smooth and silky."

"You actually like that? Even if it's not manly?"

"I like that, yeah."

Zeno suddenly thought, heart beating fast, that his stupid young skin might not be disgusting after all.

"Well, your calluses make your hands easier to grab. It gives them texture."

She giggled and wiggled hers around to feel things better.

"Oh, hold on. You do have calluses on your fingers! They're tiny little bumps, but they're there!"

"I do? Huh! Must be from when..." When he was young. Before he drank the blood, before he stopped aging. "...From working in the old man's farm, probably."

"Probably!"

"Or my epic sword practice with the Dragon Warriors, maybe." She giggled as if he had told a joke, which it had been even if it was in another sense and she didn't know. To be fair, his skills back then were also considered a joke.

"Yeah, that would leave those calluses!" she laughed.

"Hey now, that's how I got so good with the kitchen knife!"

"Figures. Dragon claws are probably good at slicing everything, even pumpkins and watermelons," she grinned. To be fair, Guen slicing pumpkins would've looked hilarious. He distracted the pang in his heart by taking her hands towards his face, unlacing and placing them over his cheeks, the pink blush of his skin now sporting brown stains. She let them stay for a minute before lowering them down.

"I should finish my harvest before it gets dark," she apologized. "We can be all lovey dovey the rest of the day, okay? And have a good soup tonight!"

"Kaya's so responsible," he nodded and cleaned his face while she kept pulling the vegetables' leaves upwards. She would dust the white root and examine each of them with excitement before dumping them into the basket with little grace, very Kaya-like.

"Sure you don't need help?"

"It's fine. I actually really enjoy doing this! It's fun!"

"Oh, okay. Please have fun. You know," he added after staring for a while and letting his mind wander about how amazing she was, "this kind of callus isn't lower than the callus a rich city girl would get from playing a string instrument. If anything, it's more miraculous. You're creating life, when you put a seed into the ground. And then it grows! You're keeping us alive too, with this food. Even the little pests that came to eat the carrots, those are life." His smile was peaceful. "Your hands bring life, they make things bloom. Why would I not find them beautiful, silly wife?"

She said nothing. Her mouth hanged open while her face turned into a good shade of red. Now that was something he enjoyed doing to her: just leave her speechless or bawling with the best compliments he could come up with. She just looked so cute when she was flustered!

"Z-Zeno..." she finally said.

"What?"

"Please let me work in peace," she begged while hiding her features behind her sleeves.

"Oh, am I too distracting when I say the truth?" he smirked.

She just nodded, without moving her arms. Heh, he had made her accidentally agree that it was all true by not contradicting it.

"Alriiiiiiiight, geez," he got up with no annoyance on his voice whatsoever. He removed the dirt from his trousers and tunic shirt. "This silly husband will leave you alone, by popular demand. Just one last thing before I go inside, though. Can I see one of your hands one last time?"

"Mmmkay, but quick."

She held a shaky hand, not before patting her dirty palm on her kimono a little bit.

Zeno crouched and took it, turned it around, and quickly pecked the back of it with a loud 'mwah' sound.

From behind her other sleeve, she rose her face enough to stare at him, eyes wide open and shiny.

Zeno then let her go, dramatically turned on his heels, and started to walk back home.

"After the delicious fresh soup, we are holding hands again like you promised," he proclaimed. "For a long while. Then hugging and cuddling."

He heard a high-pitched reply coming from behind.

"I-I would like that very much!!"

And leaving that wreck in her mind, he walked forward with a huge grin.

[ladybugmeat]

Cyril - Coursework Piece

Cyril lost his office job and sat in the park for two weeks. Whilst apathy and Manchester’s brown-carpeted job-centres played a part, he was more importantly, very worriedly, thinking. Between laps of the municipal fountain, he watched everybody about their business: the barefoot mother nursing her child, the tram’s advance; the vagabond clutching his bag of gold dust. Potters Square was clung with lights. The small white globes had made their way into every crevice of every building, statue, and streetlamp, and together they emitted an aggressive mosquito-buzz. The sound made the air feel colder, meaner. Cyril saw the mother with her blouse pulled off her shoulders shiver and in turn, the babe shook. The vagrant was cocooned beside the corner bush, the crowds boarding the tram stepping over him, their heels piling snow over his legs. They politely whooped as they passed, heads hooded in scarves like tartan helmets. 

Once the tram departed, the cold had little left to bully, the streetlights pooling lonely blue circles on the road. The servant lady on the estate stuck out the door for cigarettes like a tired cuckoo out a clock, chiming prior and post lunch; a fag whilst she’s cooking supper, red-faced and erratic, and another around the time of the last tram.

  The pile of shit Cyril dodged last night was still sat down on the curb sulking. It had been decorated with the hashed indentations of a work shoe. It looked like a piece of Grev’s House steak. How Cyril wished for a dinner like last Christmas! Broth and beans could only be souped up to the kids so many times before they caught on. Cyril pulled the damp Metro from his thighs and looked at the small ad jammed amongst crimpers, Gentleman’s pipes and odd-jobs.  A wonderfully reasonable cash prize exchanged for a man’s efforts to design a toy that would make Christmas expensive. Each year there was always a new hunk of over-packaged plastic that would make it to the top of every kids wish list, ready to be underloved and thrown into the toy cupboard alongside last years eyeless Betty doll and untouched puzzle-box.

  Cyril couldn’t stand the toys and their whining for batteries, their series of bulbous buttons and the chemical smell of it all. Cyril closed his eyes for a moment. Baby Dicer and Slicer, in variants of baby blue and buttercup yellow - and pink if it’s a bitch. A contraption somewhere between a metronome and a guillotine, slicing Baby Annabell into baby salami. Cyril looked at the ad again. Guidelines allowed up to six plastic pieces, five preferred, and up to seven colours. And the catch: must fold down into the seat of a kids tricycle. He eyed the lurid green seat, depicted like a kidney dish beside the text.

  Cyril had become transfixed by these childish feats once before. Whilst he stewed for the glitz of the toy companies and how they would cherry-pick cheap, chance labour, he felt his luck in life was long-overdue and clerk or inventor, there were five mouths to feed. Cyril unpacked three foiled chocolate eggs from a plastic bag on his side. He bit through the chocolate and let it crack to the pavement and held the yolks, squeezing them open to find their toys. A small bird with a purple grimace, able to spurt water through its pumpable chest; a plastic bug hurling catapult, built of four pieces and an elastic band - an expensive proposition he was sure. 

He kept the third yolk in his coat pocket and walked homeward, thinking of how these miniatures presented little inspiration. He cut through the square. Cyril hadn’t seen the mother and child leave and wondered if they had been there at all. He stepped over the legs that stuck out the corner-bush, picking up the sack of pick-pocketed winnings and tucked them deeper into the bush.

  The snow was getting dangerously heavy on the roof of the house, he tried not to look at it whilst walking up the hill. It would take at least two days solid shoveling to get the most of it down. Starting towards a chair in the kitchen, his wife addressed the sad suit with its slouch-marks and fallen hems. She didn’t ask where he had been but dropped a pile of letters on the table and left the room. Listening to her reach the top of the stairs, heavy with Leah swaddled to her front, Cyril ran to the stove, flicked on the gas and held his hands in the heat until they tingled and throbbed. 

Once alone, he took the letters and put them with the other letters in the cupboard beneath the sink. He moved a large pint glass of dirty water on the counter and then began to notice lots of them: pots, pans and buckets, placed about the room, strategically balanced on stools. His wife had pulled the tin bath in from the garden and it was now nearly full, the leak sounding thunderous, hitting the big body of water.  The house was the puzzle Cyril aught to fix first. It was beginning to fall into five pieces, the walls staved in and the roof bowed with the weight of the weather. He sat down and felt the newspaper bend in his trouser pocket.  He didn’t dare take it out. He hid in the kitchen for the rest of the night. The ceiling dripped, he heard the kids cry upstairs but Cyril was more importantly, very worriedly, thinking.

[edhayne]

A Day Trip to Little Pyongyang

[NB. This was written for Ogilvy & Mather’s ‘Get Out There’ initiative and was originally published in March, 2018]

If you venture a mere 24 minutes from Waterloo on the train, you’ll find a south-west London suburb that looks a little different. That’s because along with a familiar swarm of commuters seeking a more affordable place to live near the capital, this place is home to 10,000 South Koreans and another 1,000 of their Northern counterparts. That’s the highest population of North Koreans outside of Asia. The place in question? New Malden, a.k.a. Little Pyongyang.

Since the Brexit vote, there has been a lot written about the resurgence of British nationalism and distrust of other ‘non-British’ cultures. The goal of our New Malden trip was to listen to the views of local North and South Koreans and hear first-hand how they were finding the Britain of today versus the country they’d experienced when they first arrived.

A less ‘welcoming’ nation? An island on a mission to self-destruct post Brexit? A global embarrassment?

Initially reserved in their responses, by the end of each conversation, we had some fascinating answers to some big questions.

Let’s start with the ‘less welcoming’ accusation…

Not according to those whom we met in New Malden. Yes, they recognised that it’s now harder to seek asylum or get a working visa, but once you’re in, armed with the right attitude, and the right language, the consensus was that life can be very rewarding.

“Everything is good here, why go back to South Korea?”

“I moved to England for my son’s education. I chose New Malden because of the culture and the food. Food matters to me. The ability to go to the supermarket and get kimchee, Korean soup was important!”

Of course, everything is relative to what you’ve been exposed to before, especially for New Malden’s North Korean residents, but it was refreshing to hear of everyday experiences that painted Britain in a far more positive light than the national press might have us believe.

We remain far from perfect hosts, but it would be short sighted to suggest that this is purely a recent development. Distressing stories of stones being thrown at people and their houses in the 1990s were recounted by some North Korean refugees and the administrative nightmare that both Korean nationalities face when they first arrive is an ongoing problem.

“Language was the hardest part. There was a translator, but not for business. It was hard in business.”

These unpleasant experiences for new arrivals aren’t going away, but it has become far too tempting to see the Britain we lived in at the turn of the century, through rose tinted glasses.

Furthermore, the people we spoke to emphasised the importance of integrating into British society to be truly accepted. They had little sympathy for those who didn’t.

“People need to learn the language.”

“Learning English was key.”

“You can’t just blame the government; we have to change too. What’s the point in being unemployed? We have to show everyone we are contributing.”

The South Koreans we spoke to also recognised that they’re not always as hospitable as they could be, with some traditional Korean national tensions remaining.

“They work for us, not the other way around.”

However, there were several references to an increasing number of shared events between Korean groups in New Malden now taking place, perhaps mirroring the thawing of relations back home.

One South Korean even went as far to suggest that:

“They [North Koreans] are our family. We have the same grandfather, same language, it’s a family.”

“I think the people from North Korea are now made to feel more welcome than ever before in New Malden.”

How big a deal is Brexit?

In today’s Brexit obsessed media landscape, the idea of our leaving the EU has become synonymous with the idea of Britain becoming a less welcoming nation. We wanted to understand just how important the implications of the Brexit vote was to the Korean migrants already living in New Malden. To our surprise, rather than becoming a hot topic of conversation, there was a feeling of general indifference. Put simply, it wasn’t a major news story to any of them. In fact, regardless of Korean nationality, most felt that the UK press was far too focused on Brexit, refugees from other countries and the supposed nuclear threat from Kim Jong-un. Almost all of them felt that there were more important issues to address, such as the plight of the North Korean people back home.

“When talking about North Korea, they never mention the people. There’s a media obsession with Syrian refugees. Why isn’t there more about the North Koreans living in extreme poverty? They still exist.”

“The people [of North Korea] need a voice, that’s so much more important than sanctions.”

The North Koreans also didn’t see Brexit as a bad thing necessarily. In fact, it was first time extreme language was used.

“The EU feels like an economic dictatorship.”

“I don’t like the idea of someone ruling for others.”

A South Korean mechanic and estate agent were equally disengaged with the Brexit debate, explaining that Europe wasn’t the reason they came to Britain and leaving the EU certainly wasn’t keeping them awake at night.

Have we become a global embarrassment?

The most enjoyable conversations throughout the day were around all the British quirks that many of us take for granted. Whilst New Malden is full of Korean businesses, the people were just as passionate about eating fish, chips and mushy peas on a Friday, whilst watching Phil Mitchell and Ian Beale comes to blows in the Queen Vic.

“My favourite Eastenders character was Abi Branning. I can’t believe they killed her off!”

So yes, maybe we are a global embarrassment, but it’s our primitive British take-away cuisine and ridiculous soap operas that are to blame, not the political issues that make front page news.

In fact, it was these British rituals and the open-mindedness of the British public that made New Malden feel like a place Koreans could happily call home.

“I like that we have a female in charge.”

“It was amazing to see newspaper shops and different skin colours when I arrived at the English airport.”

Great Britain?

A day in New Malden with a few Korean people will of course only reveal so much, but it certainly reminded us why we should still be proud to be living in Britain. At the risk of sounding saccharine, it’s easy to forget the incredible opportunities that are afforded to us, amongst the sea of negative headlines. The Koreans we spoke with were certainly unequivocal in their praise of our small island.

“If I could live anywhere in the world it would still be England.”

“I’ve grown to love the rain. Not every day is sunshine. The weather reflects life.”

Indeed, it was the attitude of those we spoke with that absolutely captured the best of what Britain today is all about. Both the North and South Koreans we met were proud of their roots, but equally they’d gone out their way to embrace and enhance life in New Malden. They welcomed us with open arms and with a contagiously positive attitude. If we all adopted a similar outlook, then maybe we’d realise that Britain isn’t such a bad place to live after all.

Also, did you know….

1. North Korean people actually do vote:

They dress up in their best clothing and bow in front of an image of Kim Jong-Il upon arrival. An armed guard watches from behind as they vote for the only option on the ballot paper.

2. Only North Korean men are allowed to smoke:

They were genuinely shocked to see women smoking in the UK when they first arrived.

3. There’s definitely some love for Donald:

The Koreans we spoke to were impressed by his unorthodox approach to dealing with Kim Jong-un and his empathy with the North Korean people.

[stupendoustaleobservation]

Delicate Nutritional and Therapeutic Features of LadyFinger

Delicate Nutritional and Therapeutic Features of LadyFinger

Delicate Nutritional and Therapeutic Features of LadyFinger Grilled seeds of blemish grind and grind them, and they are used as wastewater, due to which a lap is prepared from the leaves of cold, which reduces swelling and prevents pain. Americans call it "Oklahoma" and in English, it has usually called "Lady Finger" in India and Pakistan, it is often called "Baddy" "Bhandey", "Gandhi T" and "Bunde Tee" etc. The real homeland of Badi is Abi Senia, the answer is called Ethel. The Bandhi traveled from Ethiopia to North Africa. From here, it came to the east of the Mediterranean and Arabia, and finally, it came to India. It is Amritini that it is in ancient Egypt She died and it was likely to reach India early in the Christian covenant. One of the earliest references about Buddhism is the reference of a Spanish Muslim who traveled to Egypt in 1216. Delicate Nutritional and Therapeutic When he saw the cultivation of this plant in Egypt, he wrote in detail and said that the Egyptian people used to eat soft flavors with their own food. The Americans saw this vegetable for the first time in 1700. The patriarchs brought with them who resided in the Louie Siana. In the year 1658, Brazil's people were well aware of it. The Americans also called it "Gambo" instead of naming it "Oklahoma". It is a corrupt form of "Guantanamo Mubarak" which is called Badhi in the Tamil language. This is the local name in many parts of the country. The plant grows rapidly and it is very bad in the hot weather. It gets used in the summer of summer to become unusual in the summer. You should take care of the same paragraph and break the leaves when they are three to five days old. As we all know, only soft leaves are cooked or cooked. We have thousands of tonnes of bean grown in the US for large soup companies. Seeds are used instead of the leaves in some other countries. The edible oil is extracted from seeded seeds, which is used as fruitful as any other untreated oil. Baddy is related to Khabari family and its plants are annual, which is born in Trekkie and Subtropical areas. This is also eaten a vegetable. But the vegetable is planted in its size. Flowers are usually long 'thin and cloak' so that they are the "ladies fingers".The color is deep or light green. Some versions are thick and thick, while others are almost red in red color. They have a sauce to 8 inches in the lobe. All the beds are made in a box containing seeds and lining material. Which gives a specialty to the candle. If it is cooked on a healthy and lightweight, it remains as dry and smooth. But if it is cut before cooking it becomes electric, which some people like to be extremely different. Chopped dried beans are green and specially colored in color. When they are added to soup or stew, then it Gives trash to taste. Fresh green flies are strong, strong and dark, but do not want them to be clean. On the other hand, dry flats that are available in some stores can be kept in a dry place throughout the year. While cooking a candy, some people take it to the lime juice before cooking it to keep them colorful. It is also a popular way to cook fresh candy lightened with curd sugar and laminated with which I open this with rice immediately. They can be dipped in a wrapped and drip frying can also be done. In the middle of the Middle East, the beef in the Middle East, beef 'lime or chicken with chicken or tomato and pizza with some occasional garlic' garlic pudding '' soy or fresh yarn They are cooked together. These are relatively new in modern and traditional dishes are not displayed. Dry buds are used only in soup or stew. In some parts of the Middle East, killing the villagers is time consumed when they are especially small and they are locked to teach them in days. The baked seeds of the baked seed are also consumed by money and enough Used as a neutral substance. Petrochemical plants are used for therapeutic purposes. A laptop made from shelter leaves, which can be used to remove from the stomach and to prevent pain. Is done.  Delicate Nutritional and Therapeutic بھنڈی کے پکے ہوئے بیجوں کو بھون کر پیس لیاجاتا ہے اور انہیں کافی کے نعم البدل کے طور پر استعمال کیا جاتا ہے تر کی میں بھنڈی کے پتوں سے ایک لیپ تیار کیا جاتا ہے جو سوجن میں کمی کرتا ہے اور درد سے نجات دلاتا ہے ۔ امریکی اسے ”اوکرا “کہتے ہیں اور انگریزی میں اسے عام طور سے ”لیڈی فنگر “کہاجا تا ہے ہندوستان اور پاکستان میں اسے زیادہ تر”بھنڈی “”بھینڈی“”بھینڈی کا ٹی “اور ”بنڈے کا ٹی “وغیرہ کہا جاتا ہے ۔ بھنڈی کا اصل وطن ابی سینیا ہے جواب ایتھو پیا کہلاتا ہے ۔بھنڈی نے ایتھو پیا سے شمالی افریقہ کی طرف سفر کیا ۔وہاں سے یہ مشرقی بحیرہ روم اور عرب میں آئی اور بالآخر ہندوستان پہنچی ۔یہ امریقینی ہے کہ قدیم مصر میں اس کی کا شت جاتی تھی اور یہ غالباََ عیسائی عہد کے آغاز میں ہندوستان پہنچی ۔ بھنڈی کے بارے میں قدیم ترین حوالوں میں سے ایک حوالہ ایک ہسپانوی مسلمان کی تحریرمیں ملتا ہے جس نے 1216ء میں مصر کا سفر کیا تھا ۔ ا س نے جب مصر میں اس پودے کی کاشت ہوتے دیکھی تو اس کے بارے میں تفصیل سے لکھا اور یہ کہا کہ مصری لوگ نرم بھنڈیوں کو اپنے کھانوں کے ساتھ کھاتے تھے ۔امریکیوں نے اس سبزی کو پہلی بار 1700ء میں دیکھا ۔اسے فرانسیسی تارکین وطن اپنے ساتھ لائے تھے جنہوں نے لوئی سیانا میں رہائش اختیار کی تھی۔1658ء میں برازیل کے لوگ اس سے بخوبی واقف تھے۔امریکیوں نے اس کو ”اوکرا“کا نام دینے کے علاوہ اسے ”گمبو “بھی کہا ۔یہ ”گوٹن گو مبو“کی بگڑی ہوئی شکل ہے جو پر تگالی زبان میں بھنڈی کو کہتے ہیں ۔افریقہ کے کئی علاقوں میں اس کا یہی مقامی نام ہے ۔بھنڈی کا پودا بڑی تیزی کے ساتھ اگتا ہے اور گرم موسم میں یہ بہت جلد خراب ہو جاتا ہے ۔اس میں لگنے والی بھنڈیاں تیز گرمی کے موسم میں جلد ی ناقابل استعمال ہو جاتی ہیں ۔پودے کا برابر جائزہ لیتے رہنا چا ہئے اور پھلیوں کو اس وقت توڑ لینا چا ہئے جب ان کی عمر تین سے پانچ دن کی ہو ۔جیسا کہ ہم سب جانتے ہیں صرف نرم پھلیوں کو ہی پکا کر یا بھون کر کھایا جا تا ہے ۔تا ہم امریکہ میں ہزاروں ٹن پھلیاں بڑی بڑی سوپ (Soup)کمپنیوں کے لئے اگائی جاتی ہیں ۔ بعض دیگر ممالک میں پھلیوں کے بجائے بیجوں کا استعمال کیا جاتا ہے ۔پکے ہوئے بیجوں سے خوردنی تیل نکالا جاتا ہے جو کہ اسی طرح قابل استعمال ہوتا ہے جس طرح کہ کوئی بھی دوسری اخوردنی تیل ۔ بھنڈی کا تعلق خبازّی فیملی سے ہے اور اس کا پودا سالانہ ہوتا ہے جوکہ ٹراپیکل اور سب ٹراپیکل ریجنوں میں پیدا ہوتا ہے ۔گوکہ یہ بہ طور سبزی کھائی جاتی ہے ۔لیکن بھنڈی اس پودے کی پھلی ہے ۔مصر میں اس کی وسیع پیمانے پر کاشت ہوتی ہے ۔بھنڈی کی پھلی عام طور پر لمبی ‘پتلی اور مخروطی ہوتی ہے اسی لئے اس کا دوسرانام ”لیڈیز فنگرز “ہے ۔اس کی رنگت گہری یا ہلکی سبز ہوتی ہے ۔اس کی بعض ورائٹیز ٹھنٹھ اور موٹی ہوتی ہیں جبکہ دیگر رنگت میں تقریباََ سرخ ہوتی ہیں ۔لمبائی میں ان کا سائزایک انچ سے لے کر 8انچ تک ہوتا ہے ۔ہر پھلی میں خانے بنے ہوتے ہیں جن میں بیج اور ایک لیس دار مادہّ بھر ا ہوتا ہے جوکہ بھنڈی کو ا س کی مخصوص صفت عطا کرتے ہیں ۔اگر اسے سالم اور ہلکی آنچ پر پکا یا جائے تو یہ خستہ اور پھلی کی مانند رہتی ہے ۔لیکن اگر اسے پکانے سے پہلے کاٹ لیا جائے تو یہ بجلجی ہوجاتی ہے جسے بعض لوگ بے حد پسند کرتے ہیں ۔چھوٹی خشک پھلیاں رنگت میں گرے گرین اور خاصی روئیں دار ہوتی ہیں ۔جب انہیں سوپ یا اسٹیو میں شامل کیا جاتا ہے تو یہ انہیں ایک ترش ذائقہ عطا کرتی ہیں۔ تازہ ہری بھنڈیاں ٹھوس ‘مضبوط اور سیاہ نشانات سے پاک ہونی چا ہئیں ۔لیکن انہیں زیادہ دنوں تک نہیں رکھنا چا ہئے۔دوسری جانب خشک بھنڈیاں جو کہ بعض اسٹورز میں دستیاب ہوجاتی ہیں ‘کسی خشک جگہ پر سال بھر رکھی جاسکتی ہیں ۔ بھنڈی کو پکاتے وقت بعض لوگ اسے پکانے سے پہلے لیمن جو س میں اچھا لیتے ہیں تا کہ ان کی رنگت بر قرار رہے ۔تھوڑی سی چینی اور لیمن جو س کے ساتھ ہلکی فرائی کردہ تازہ بھنڈیوں کو پکانے کا یہ بھی ایک مقبول طریقہ ہے جس میں یہ چاولوں کے ساتھ فوراََ کھالی جاتی ہیں ۔ انہیں لپٹی میں ڈبو کر ڈیپ فرائی بھی کیا جا سکتا ہے ۔ایران کے سواپورے مشرقِ وُسطیٰ میں بھنڈیاں بیف ‘لیمب یا چکن کے ساتھ اسٹیو میں یا ٹماٹر اورپیاز کے ساتھ سادایا بعض اوقات لہسن ‘ترش انار دانے کے جوش ‘سویا یا تازہ دھنیے کے ساتھ پکا ئی جاتی ہیں ۔ایران میں یہ نسبتاََ نئی ہیں اور روایتی ڈشوں میں نمودار نہیں ہوتیں ۔ Delicate Nutritional and Therapeutic  خشک بھنڈیوں کے دانے صرف سوپ یا اسٹیو میں استعمال ہوتے ہیں ۔ مشرقِ وُسطیٰ کے بعض حصّوں میں بھنڈیوں کو قتل از وقت اس وقت توڑ لیا جاتا ہے جب وہ خاصی چھوٹی ہوتی ہیں اور انہیں ڈوریوں میں سکھانے کے لئے لٹکادیا جا تا ہے ۔بھنڈی کے پکے ہوئے بیجوں کو بھون کر پیسا بھی جاتا ہے اور کافی کے نعم البدل کے طور پر استعمال کیا جاتا ہے ۔ترکی مے بھنڈی کے پودے کے پتوں کو معالجاتی مقاصد کے لئے استعمال کیا جاتا ہے ۔بھنڈی کے پتوں سے بنایا جانے والا ایک لیپ سو جن کو دور کرنے اور درد سے نجات حاصل کرنے کے لئے استعما ل کیا جاتا ہے ۔ Source UrduPoint.   Read the full article

[sufferingsoup]

Following the release of TLOU2, Abi disappears into the void for weeks, months, years. Not a word from her, as if she’s dropped off the face of the earth. She finally steps back into the light after completing the game for the 9836282964th time, but this creature is not Abi anymore. No, she has changed, forgotten everything about her past life. She can’t remember her friends, family, dogs (which were stolen during her absence long ago by a sleep-deprived ghost and a bowl of soup). She doesn’t even remember her own name. She goes by the name Ellie now. She has become one with the game, and the damage is irreversible. We may never see the real Abi again.

The Last of Us themed streamed today!!!

2pm MST!!!! IM EXITEDDDD

[zelkam]

▸ Tag Game ❤

I was tagged by @azxrae - thank you!

🎀 - Are you named after someone?

nope. my parents actually changed their mind on how to name me so I wouldn’t be named after someone. at first I was supposed to be Anita, but there’s a Polish singer with this name and my dad said that people would associate my name w/ her. so they decided on Aneta instead (which is tbh less common than Anita)

🎀 - When was the last time you cried?

I can’t remember the exact day but like two weeks ago or smth I teared up a little because I kinda started thinking about how much I miss my cat :v

🎀 - Do you like your handwriting?

it’s okay but sometimes people have a hard time reading it

🎀 - What is your favourite lunch meat?

do kabanosy count?

🎀 - Do you have kids?

fuck no.

🎀 - If you were a different person, would you be friends with you?

maybe? I’d probably find myself annoying tho.

🎀 - Do you use sarcasm?

yeah.

🎀 - Do you still have your tonsils?

yep

🎀 - Would you bungee jump?

lmao so actually I was supposed to go bungee jumping quite recently and I already paid for it and everything but then I realized that my spine would most likely not take it very well and I didn’t do the thing :v 

but I’d do it if I were in a better shape than now

🎀 - What’s your favourite cereal?

honey nut corn flakes

🎀 - Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?

yes

🎀 - Do you think you’re a strong person?

I guess? I kinda had to become one to get where I am now

🎀 - What’s your favourite ice cream?

peanut butter or chocolate chip cookie dough or kinder surprise

🎀 - What’s the first thing you notice about someone?

hair maybe?

🎀 - What’s your least favourite physical thing about yourself?

boom crack the sound of my joints ♫ 

🎀 - What colour trousers and shoes are you wearing right now?

black yoga pants and no shoes

🎀 - What are you listening to right now?

DNCE, Nicki Minaj - Kissing Strangers

🎀 - If you were a crayon, what colour would you be?

silver

🎀 - Favourite smell?

coffee? or I have some perfume faves that I like a lot

🎀 - Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?

my friend from uni

🎀 - Favourite sport to watch?

corgi racing basketball or volleyball

🎀 - Hair colour?

brown.

🎀 - Eye colour?

brown with gray spots.

🎀 - Do you wear contacts?

I’m lucky to have a 20/20 vision so nay

🎀 - Favourite food?

tomato soup

🎀 - Scary movies or comedy?

comedy.

🎀 - Last movie you watched?

some documentary about Ebola

🎀 - What colour shirt are you wearing?

brown

🎀 - Summer or Winter?

winter! summer is okayish but I hate when it’s really hot

🎀 - Hugs or kisses?

hugs

🎀 - Book you’re currently reading?

"Sword of Destiny” by Andrzej Sapkowski. It’s the 2nd book of The Witcher saga.

🎀 - Who do you miss right now?

my cat and maybe some ppl from my high school

🎀 - What’s on your mouse pad?

I don’t use one

🎀 - What’s the last tv program you watched?

House MD

🎀 - What is the best sound?

opening the door w/ my keys when I’m coming home lmao

🎀 - Rolling Stones or The Beatles?

I don’t care aby them tbh

🎀 - What’s the furthest you’ve ever travelled?

midwest us and I’m eastern european

🎀 - Do you have a special talent?

sometimes  I draw and the thing actually ends up looking okay?

🎀 - Where were you born?

Poland

I’m tagging @furidojasutin​, @achilleanragnor​, @darkmagicianknight (of course only if you want to)

[asgarden]

This journal is a hybrid journal in English and Indonesian. at first before my surgery I kept a personal journal for my own in English and then after the surgery I couldn’t speak, so I told my husband about my surgery memory by texting to him in Indonesian. Then I adapted the text messages for my husband into this journal.

Friday, February 23rd 2018 My first visit to Otolaryngologist at Tabanan General Hospital. I have a chronic tonsillitis. From December 2017 until February 2018 I’ve already got 4 times sore throat. The sore throats were either with common cold and cough or just sore throat. So I told this to the doctor, then he asked if I wanted my tonsils to be removed. I said yes. So he prepared all the pre-operation procedure. I got my blood checked at the laboratory and then I went to the radiology to have a thorax roentgen. All the tests were to make sure that I am fit for the operation. When the results came back, the Otolaryngologist scheduled me to have a tonsillectomy on March 1st 2018. After I got the surgery schedule I reserved a room for February 28th at the admission office.

Wednesday, February 28th 2018 First Day at the Hospital Oh my God I can’t sleep. I keep hearing the moan of the grandma next to me. She had an accident while sitting on a chair and then she fell down and hurt her nerve on the neck. It was almost made her hand and leg become paralyzed.

10.50 am arrived at KFC to find Chicken Chizza but found none. Instead I ordered Twisty as take away. I had already wanted cheese glazed / sauced fried chicken by KFC since last year or two years ago. I was also going to order Garlique Fun Fries but I remember I wasn’t supposed to eat deep fried seasoned things regarding to keep my throat healthy before tonsillectomy.

  11.20 am arrived at the hospital. Registered and went to the ear-nose-throat doctor. Check my room at the admission. My husband filled the admission form. We would be informed when my room was ready.

12.00 noon had lunch with my husband. I picked a pack of mixed chopped fruits, a cup of mung bean soup, and tipat cantok because I knew I wouldn’t be able to eat all of this solid food after the surgery. I realized I became greedy.

Later on I received a phone call from the nurse that she would take me to my room after lunch. Before going to my room, the nurse put on a pink band on my right wrist.

1 pm arrived at my room. Unpacked the bags and goods. Sat on bed. Talked to a man who was waiting for his brother-in-law just after having tonsillectomy. And also talked to another man who was waiting for his mother with nerve injury.

  Two nurses came and checked my blood pressure. A nurse asked my to lay down on the bed. I lied down awkwardly and still finding my comfort on a hospital bed. Gotta be used to it.

5 PM My first hospital menu for dinner, I think gonna be the first and the last solid food from the hospital

9.30 pm a nurse came to inject an infusion needle to my vein. I was going to sleep and felt sleepy. She told me not to pull my hand when she injected the needle. She attached it to my right hand. It hurt. Then she explained that I shall start fasting at 12 midnight until the surgery was held. Tomorrow morning I shall wash and brush my teeth at 6 am. I said yes to her. While I was writing down this.. there was a butterfly on my stomach that made me nervous and tickled imagining about tomorrow surgery with general anesthesia. I would be totally unconscious. Oh my!

Lying down on the bed and tuck myself into hospital baby blue fleece blanket. I saw my pink band on the right wrist. It was written my name, my age, medical record number and the doctor who took care of me. I suddenly realized that I am getting close to my thirty. I am now 27 years old and just had a birthday this month.

Oh I have spending my seven years living with my man. My only partner next to me, who always keeps me safe and comfortable. He finds his way to take care of me. Now he is sleeping on a mattress on the floor next to my bed.

I am quite nervous since it is gonna be my first surgery. And in this room I share with another 5 patients. One of them keeps moaning that she suffers terrible paint. I feel pity for her. God gives her the best.

Yeah time passes – back to my reminiscence, I am going to be thirty and thriving. I hope so. Thirty, thriving and tonsilless. But also much healthier and stronger, and then I feel asleep.

  Kamis, 1 Maret 2018 Hari Kedua di Rumah Sakit (D-Day)

06.36 am pre-operation tonsillectomy. Selang infus awalnya dipasang di tangan kiri.

Saya mulai kedinginan masuk ruang bedah sentral tapi belum ke ruang utama untuk proses operasi, masih di ruang transisi untuk pasien menunggu. Di ruamg transisi atau ruang pasien yang akan dioperasi menunggu, saya ditanyai oleh mbak asisten bermasker dan berkacamata tentang nama, penyakitnya apa lalu apa ada riwayat sesak napas, hipertensi, diabetes. Lalu saya disuntikkan antibiotik, sambil botol infusnya dibalik sebentar. Lalu saya dibiarkan menunggu di atas brankar khusus mau operasi, warnanya ijo – ada alasnya empuk, kompakan warna ijo daun semua.

Ruang bedah sentral BRSU Tabanan, suami saya diminta menunggu di luar sambil bawa selimut saya yang krem dan tebal

Saya sempat nanya jam berapa ini ke asistennya, dijawab jam 9.20. Saya lihat ada anak remaja laki-laki lagi duduk menunggu lengkap dengan pakaian pasien operasi dan topi operasi juga. Lalu di seberang kiri, datang seorang wanita yang juga tiduran di atas brankar khusus operasi dan kakinya yang kanan patah. Karena saya awalnya tiduran, lalu saya pun bangun dan duduk di atas brankar. Ada seorang petugas kesehatan laki-laki nanya ke saya, ”kenapa bu?”

Saya jawab bahwa saya kedinginan dan bertanya apa boleh minta selimut. Bapak itu pun menjawab ”boleh.” Beliau langsung mengambilkan selimut dan menyongsong saya, ”ibu tiduran saja” lalu selimut fleece baby blue ruang bedah disampirkan ke badan menutupi kaki saya. Karena rasanya ukurannya kurang panjang, saya putar-putar selimut itu sampai panjangnya pas menutup dada hingga kaki, tapi kok rasanya tetap kurang panjang ya!?

Akhirnya saya didorong ke ruang operasi utama. Dokter laki-laki yang menarik brankar saya bertanya dari mana asal saya, saya bilang dari Sekartaji tapi lahir di Surabaya. Beliau tahu baik Sekartaji maupun Surabaya. Saya katakan saya lahir di Surabaya karena orang tua saya dinas disana. ”di Surabaya mana?” tanyanya. saya jawab di Waru. ”di mananya jalan tol Waru?” ” ya itu di bawahnya.” ”kalau saya di Karang Menjangan dulu.”

Di ruang operasi utama, saya melihat ruangan itu seperti teater dengan satu meja futuristik, yang tidak lain adalah meja operasi. Saya harus berpindah dari brankar ke atas meja operasi. Disitu baru diiingiiiin banget kayak di chiller! Pasti biar bakteri susah tumbuh disana. Celakanya selimut saya ditarik sehingga mulai deh efek kedinginan bekerja, di tenggorokan mulai ada lendir dan hidung berair, saya pun menarik dahak yang muncul sampai dokter anastesinya kaget mendengarnya! Haha.

Saya udah bolak-balik bilang ke dokternya, “dingin ya, dok.” “Nggak apa-apa dingin sedikit.” kata dokter anastesi yang perempuan.

Saya jadi menggigil tambah keras sambil diajak ngomong sama dokter anastesinya tentang pekerjaan saya, sudah bekeluarga, anak ada berapa. Saat mereka tau saya ngajar Bahasa Inggris di yayasan, dokter anastesinya yang perempuan bilang ”ayuk kita berbahasa Inggris, yuk…”

Sembari asisten bedah mempersiapkan sesuatu dan berkata kepada dokter anastesi laki-laki, si dokter pun menyahut ”so much”. Ngga tau untuk menjawab apa, kurang tau pasti.

Di tengah peecakapan mereka sambil mereka bergerak terus mempersiapkan segala sesuatunya, saya disuntik sesuatu di keran selang infusnya. Trus saya mau nanya ”how long the surgery will take time?” tapi ga jadi, nanya dalam Bahasa Indonesia aja, ”berapa lama operasinya, dok?”

Dijawab oleh dokter yang perempuan, ”satu jam.”

Lalu disahuti sama dokter yang laki-laki, ”tapi kalau orang dewasa lebih lama, soalnya kan lebih rumit, banyak pembuluh darahnya.”

Saya jawab ”oh, gitu ya dok.”

Lalu sang dokter menyiapkan balon yang mengembung dan ada masker, dokter yang cewek pun nyeletuk, ”lho kok gembung gitu.” Saya noleh kayaknya itu berisi gas anastesi. Abis itu saya nggak inget apa-apa lagi. Bener-bener deh, dokter anastesinya itu nggak pakai aba-aba atau peringatan saat membius saya, lho!

Proses operasi berjalan tanpa saya ketahui dan nggak ada ingatan sedikit pun mengenai prosesnya. Seperti ada ingatan yang hilang saja.

Pukul 11 siang Pak dokter THT yang agak mirip Fariz RM versi lebih muda dengan rambutnya yang khas beruban pun keluar dan bilang kepada papa, ”operasinya sudah selesai, pak.”

Sedangkan saya, tau-tau sudah bangun di ruangan yang berbeda, ada tulisannya di pintu kaca: PACU atau POCU, saya baca secara terbalik dari balik kaca pintu sebelah dalam, pokoknya untuk post operation care unit. Saya terbangun kedingininan dan ternyata udah diselimuti lagi dengan selimut fleece baby blue ruang bedah yang rasanya lebih kasar dan lebih pendek, nggak selembut selimut fleece baby blue dari Ruang Cempaka. Ada mbak-mbak asisten berkacamata yang bilang, ”buka matanya, sudah selesai operasi.”

Saya merasa sedang bermimpi masih ada hubungannya dengan bercakap-cakap dengan dokter bedah dan dokter anastesi. Tapi saat saya terbangun saya tidak bisa ingat betul barusan itu mimpi tentang apa sebenarnya.

Saya lihat jam di dinding yang menunjukkan pukul 11.50. Saya dibiarkan di ruangan itu menggigil bersama dua pasien lainnya yg habis operasi juga, tapi mereka semua tidak menggigil, yang saya tau, salah satu pasien baru selesai operasi sesar. Dan saya sempat lihat bayinya digendong suster di ruang transisi operasi sebelum saya dioperasi.

Selebihnya saya menunggu lagi di PACU sambil memutar-mutar selimut itu lagi karena tidak seluruhnya menutupi kaki saya, saat memutar selimut, saya mendapati satu sachet plastik berisi sejumput-dua jumput gumpalan daging, aah ini pasti tonsil saya. Lalu hasil rontgent dan catatan medis yang ditaruh dikaki saya jadi bergeser sampai hasil rontgentnya jatuh akibat saya gerak-gerak berusaha memanjangkan selimut sampai menutupi kaki. Mbak asisten pun akhirnya bilang, ”diem bu, kakinya jangan gerak-gerak.”

Duh, dari tadi saya rewel masalah dingin aja karena bikin badan terguncang-guncang menggigil, sehingga saya nggak inget pasti rasanya tenggorokan saya pasca operasi. Yang saya ingat saat mau dipindahkan dari ruang bedah, saya merasakan ada lendir di sekitar tenggorokan saya sehingga secara refleks saya ingin batuk dan mengeluarkannya. Sontak perawat yang menjemput saya mendengar itu, dan ia berusaha menghentikan saya untuk menarik dahak di tenggorokan.

post-operation tonsillectomy

Untung saya juga bawa selimut sendiri yang tebel. Perawat pun menutupi tubuh saya dengan selimut dari rumah sakit yang biru lalu ditumpuk lagi dengan selimut tebal saya yang krem karena mengetahui saya menggigil kedinginan.

Sakitnya tenggorokan lama-lama terasa saat saya dipindahkan kembali ke Ruang Cempaka. Di kamar perawatan, saya mengantuk. Saat tertidur, sedikit-sedikit terbangun karena susah napas dari hidung. Menarik napas dari hidung bisa, tapi saat mengeluarkan udara melalui hidung nggak bisa! Tertutup lendir-lendir sesuatu yang bergumul di tenggorokan menutupi lubang antara mulut dan hidung. Tenggorokan rasanya tercekat, nelan ludah rasanya susah karena seperti tercekik, ngga ada ruang untuk ludah masuk tertelan.

    Terbangun susah nelan ludah, susah napas dengan hidung

Post-op selang infus pindah ke tangan kiri

Setelah operasi saya mendapat susu dingin, satu-satu asupan yang masuk lewat mulut di hari operasi. Suami pun juga membelikan 1 kotak susu UHT. Semuanya saya habiskan. Untung pasca operasi saya tidak mengalamin mual maupun muntah sama sekali, cuma lemes aja karena puasa seharian, lalu kedinginan dan melalui proses bedah yang melukai jaringan tenggorokan. Oh ya segera setelah operasi memang diperbolehkan suster makan es krim yang hanya rasa vanila, tapi saya nggak mau. Mau yang cair aja udah cukup.

Jumat, 2 Maret 2018 Hari Ketiga (terakhir) di Rumah Sakit

6.26 AM Menu makanan pertama setelah tonsilektomi: bubur sumsum + gula merah, telur rebus dan susu dingin. I could eat them all in a very long time

Dokter sp.THT visit pukul 9.45. “Pagi…….!” sapa dr. I Nyoman Kertanadi begitu masuk ke ruangan Cempaka no. 7. Kebetulan bilik ranjang saya tepat menghadap ke pintu dan tirai sudah disibakkan sehingga sang dokter bisa melihat langsung ke arah saya.

Saya dengan parau dan pelan menjawab juga, “pagi.”

Suami saya pun menyusul dan membalas pula sapaan hangat dokter tersebut. Ternyata suami saya sudah melaporkan bahwa saya masih merasa sakit di tenggorokan sehingga sang dokter kedapatan tengah menjawab, “ya, iya masih sakit kan ini masih baru.” “Gimana? Sudah diminum susunya?” Tanya sang dokter dengan ramah kepada saya.

Tapi ternyata suami saya membantu saya untuk menjawab, “belum. Baru sedikit aja yang diminum.”

  Selanjunya dr. Nyoman Kertanadi menjelaskan bahwa saya sebaiknya makan-makanan yang bersuhu normal. Tidak yang dingin dan juga panas atau hangat. Makan es krim pun sudah tidak perlu karena sebaiknya makan es krim itu di hari tepat setelah operasi saja. Lalu boleh makan yang lembut seperti bubur, roti dicelup ke susu, biskuit Regal dicampur susu, bahkan bikin bubur Sun alias bubur bayi. Saya sempat tersenyum geli karena mendengar bubur Sun disebut. Bener-bener jadi bayi. Great. Ntar akhirnya di rumah saya kena batunya karena terpaksa harus konsumsi bubur Sun beneran karena susah nelan bubur nasi!

Lalu sebelum sang dokter pergi saya sempat menanyakan apa itu adenoid. Tapi karena suara saya nggak jelas yang keluar, beliau pun menelengkan sedikit kepalanya kepada saya sambil mengkonfirmasi ulang perkataan saya. Saya ucapkan lagi kepada dokter, “apa itu adenoid?” “Oh, adenoidnya nggak diambil.” “Bukan. Saya cuma tanya apa itu adenoid?”

…. Saya nggak bisa ingat dengan pasti penjelasan dokter tentang adenoid, yang saya ingat (dibantu oleh ingatan suami) bahwa bayi dan anak-anak sampai usia 14 tahun yang punya adenoid, setelah dewasa tidak ada lagi adenoidnya.

Lalu saya bertanya lagi, ��memang amandel bikin ngantuk ya, dok?” Dokter pun menjelaskan bahwa benar bisa menyebabkan mudah ngantuk karena amandel menghalangi asupan oksigen ke otak.

11 AM menu makan siang: bubur saring, ayam, tahu, telur rebus dan pisang. They tasted great! I just have difficulty to swallow them

Akhirnya saya diperbolehkan pulang hari itu setelah makan siang. Dengan catatan kontrol lagi hari Selasa, 6 Maret 2018.

Sebelum pulang, Paknik, Bunik, Mbok Komang Sri dan Mbok kadek Indra datang menjenguk saya, sambil membawakan roti tawar Sari Roti yang Double Soft, Roti isi mentega dan 2 botol air mineral. Lalu disusul oleh Makciek, Iqbal dan Budhe. Makciek membantu membawakan 1 tas travel saya ke Angkah dengan motornya.

Yeah I was discharged from the hospital, finally. At home without any pain killer shots directly to my vein, the pain on my throat becomes greater! I have to swallow a very very bitter medicine (antibiotic and pain killer in powder), it is not a problem on my tongue but it is an extreme bitter and burn on my throat wounded tissue. GOSH!!! It was way better to stay at the hospital, where I got the pain killer injected through the infusion hose and had an intravenous feeding.

To be continued to  mypost-hospital stay journal.

Thank you for all the nurses and doctors who had taken care of me at the Tabanan General Hospital, Bali.

Intan Rastini.

My Tonsillectomy Journal at The Hospital This journal is a hybrid journal in English and Indonesian. at first before my surgery I kept a personal journal for my own in English and then after the surgery…

[rockasjulesverne-blog]

Let's begin! First destination, Bangkok. Bangkok became the capital in 18th century after the destruction of Ayutthaya, the previous capital of Siam. It started as small fishermen village, and yes, people still do fish here, but now, it is definitely the biggest village I have ever seen. The first picture of Bangkok I had was made of skyscrapers, temples and slums. People driving in crazy ways, but being able to handle it. Streets full of tuk-tuks, motorbikes, taxis, old school busses, and some very peculiar vehicles which were half bike half restaurant. It gives it all very busy impression, that may be, because it actually is very busy. It is very well working chaos. Funny part comes when you have to cross the street. As typical spoiled Europeans we came to a zebra next to a 4 lane road, looking for a traffic light, haha! After a minute of panic we realized there is none and that you have to check the less dangerous moment and just jump into the road, and if you are lucky enough, you get to the other side, I mean of the road. We have arrived in full mourning period as the beloved king passed year ago and the tradition is to bring back the body and incinerate it year after and mourn during whole month and wear black. You can see black clothes in all the shops and even most of advertising TVs and local websites front pages are in black and white. There are altars with his pictures all over the city where you can put flower or any other gifts. The very days of mourning for the king are the 13th and the 26th. 13th the day he died and 26th the first day of the incineration and the funeral ceremonies. We stayed in Oldtown hostel by the river not far from the Chinatown. The hostel was very nice, we can definitely recommend it, beer, mosquito net on the window, quite ok showers and toilets, comfy bed. Beautiful life :) Second stop was at Flapping Duck, you can reach them through the FB page. This hostel is next to the big river, so get ready for a lot of mosquitoes. But it is a very charming place, where people are extremely friendly and it is a true backpackers paradise. And it is full of cute kittens ;) Chinatown-easy to get lost in between all the small streets with small houses/shops/restaurants in one. You can meet a lot of tailless cats and experience a lot of smells that you cannot identify and sometimes don't even want to. Food-eat whatever pleases your senses as long as you see people eating at the place. It can be street food, small local bistro or restaurant. More expensive doesn't mean better. Best were small local bistros with curry or soups where we were often the only white folks. Until present situation we still did not shit ourselves. Good sign! The only think we have better avoided was the fish, after seeing the local guys fishing it in the city river. I guess you can imagine how the river looks like. The white things on the water surface were not lotus flowers... Some practical mishmash : It is the end of rain season so it is good to become a best friend with your raincoat and take it everywhere with you, not like me who forgets it every time ... If you go to the temples, it is without shoes and properly dressed. Long trousers/skirt, covered shoulders. If not, there is always your bestie the raincoat to save the situation! Negotiate everywhere where you can, shops, tuk - tuks, taxis - for the last two, before you get in. Tuk tuk will try to screw you as much as they can, starting at 200 BHT for a ride-you can probably get it for 60 BHT max. Taxi starts at 35 + 5 BHT for every km. Uber works quite well here as well. Public transport is very chaotic. Take the repellent with you all the time-local mark which works quite well is for ex.Sketolene (thx Eliška for the recommendation) you can also use mix of coconut oil with citronella and lemongrass. Alcohol is sold until midnight. Jdem na to! První destinace Bangkok. Bangkok se stal hlavním městem v 18.století, po zničení Ayutthaya, původního hlavního města Siamu. Bangkok byl tehdy malou rybářskou vesničkou a rybaří se tam dodnes, ale teď je to rozhodně ta největší vesnička co jsem kdy viděla. První dojem z Bangkoku byl tvořen z mrakodrapů, chrámů a slamů. Lidi řídí jako naprostí blázni, ale nehodu jsme žádnou neviděli, takže asi ví, co dělají. Ulice jsou plné tuk-tuků, motorek, oldschoolových autobusů, taxíků, a prapodivných vozideĺ která jsou kombinací kola a restaurace. Všechno vypadá hrozně šíleně s uspěchaně a ono to i je. Ale je to skvěle fungující chaos. Vtipná část ale přijde, když máte přejít silnici. Jako správný rozmazlený Evropan se rozhlížite po semaforu, když stojíte u té 4 proudovky. Haha, omyl! Po momentě paniky, začnete vymýšlet strategii a v momentě, který vám přijde nejméně riskantní prostě skočíte do silnice a s trochou štěstí se ocitnete na druhé straně - silnice. My jsme přijeli do Bangkoku v plném období smutku. Je to rok od toho, co jim zemřel milovaný král a tradice je taková, že rok poté se vynese tělo nebožtíka krále a spálí se. Kremaci samozřejmě doprovází měsíční ceremonie a smutek. Lidi chodí v černém, po městě je bíločerná výzdoba a oltáře s podobiznou krále, kam se podíváte a i reklamní televize jsou v černobílé. Ve státní svátek s tím spojený, tedy 13.10.-výročí úmrtí a 26.10.-začátek kremace a ceremonií s ní spojených musí všichni, včetně turistů být v černém. Když jsme dorazili, ubytovali jsme se v Oldtown hostelu, nedaleko Chinatownu a říčky. Je to sympatické místo, kde mají pivo, síťku proti komárům na okně, celkem ucházející sprchy a pohodlnou postel. Druhé místo, kde jsme se ubytovali byl guesthouse Flapping Duck, který si rezervujete pomocí jejich FB stránky a který je vedle řeky, takže je tam hromada komárů. Ale místo je moc hezké, lidé velice přátelští a je to pravý ráj pro baťůžkáře. A maj naprosto dokonalá koťata :) Chinatown- je velice snadné se ztratit mezi křivolakými uličkami s hromadou malh domečků/restaurací/obchodů v jednom. Můžete tam také potkat hromadu koček bez ocasu a cítit hromadu různých neidentifikovatelných pachů, u kterých ani radši nechcete vědět, co jsou zač. Jídlo- můžete v podstatě baštit cokoliv, co vábí váš apetit, dokud vidíte, že tam na tom místě baští další lidi a i hodně místňáků. Může to být jídlo z ulice, malé lokální bistro nebo restaurace. Dražší nutně neznamená lepší. Nejvíc nám chutná v malých lokálních bistrech, kde mají curry nebo polévky a kde jsme často jediný cizinci. Do teď jsme se zatím nepo...ťuk ťuk ťuk...a bereme to jako dobré znamení. Jedna z věcí, na kterou jsme si zatím netroufli, je ryba, po té, co jsme místní týpky viděli je chytat v městské řece. Asi si dokážete představit, jak místní řeka vypadá. Ty bílé věci, co na ní plavou, rozhodně nejsou lotosové květy. Teď trochu praktického mišmaše: Je konec prši-sezóny, takže je praktický být kámoš s vaší pláštenkou a tahat ji všude sebou, ne jako já, která ji vždy zapomene. Když jdete do chrámů, tak jedině bosky a vhodně oblečení, dlouhé kalhoty či sukni a zakrytá ramena. A když nic, tak je tu pořád váš kámoš pláštěnka, aby zachránila situaci. Smlouvejte, kde se dá. V obchodech, tuk-tukách, taxících- u těch posledních dvou, než do nich nasednete. Mohli by po vás chtít nesmyslný peníze a obrat vás, jak se dá. 200BHT tuk-tukem po kousku Bangkoku je fakt hodně. Dalo by se třeba i za 60 BHT. Taxi má počáteční cenu za 35 BHT + 5 za každý kilometr. Uber funguje celkem fajn též a levně. Veřejná doprava je hodně chaotická. Berte sebou všude repelent. Daji se sehnat za levno i lokální značky jako třeba sketolene (díky Elišce za tip) nebo mix kokosového oleje a oleje z lemongrass a citronely. Alkohol se prodává do půlnoci.

[your-sunshineandrainbows-blog]

I was a weird child

Over the many years of my life I have come across many realisations and adventures and I thought that I would share them with you all. 

I am quite the weird child to be quite honest, and this has come in packages of many shapes and sizes over the years.

There was this one time when me and my younger brother would play this game on the trampoline called ‘body warmers’ (we were soooooo creative...). The game consisted of our body warmers (mine was bright purple and my brother’s was bright blue) and we had to keep our hands inside them (no arms in the arm holes) and it had to be zipped up over our heads so that we couldn’t see anything. We had to run around the trampoline (inside) as fast as we could without slipping over or falling. It was basically bumper-carts/wrestling/chasing to the extreme. To be honest, it was pretty fun :D And also very, very weird... I remember this one time (this was when my mum had just started her cake business in 2011) and one of her customers came over to talk about ordering a cake. I don’t know, but I think she must’ve forgotten she had two weird children outside on the trampoline... we were just running around on this trampoline wailing around with so much laughter, giggling to ourselves because we thought it was so funny. Mum said that the lady who came in must’ve taken a quick double take because there were two headless loons outside making chicken noises and she had the most contorted look on her face. Oh dear me, haha... My mum even took a picture of us on the trampoline and it is actually so funny.

On the topic of photos I have some advice for all of you. If ever you are having one of those days where you feel really down about your appearance go and take a peep at those old pictures... it will make you feel 10x better, LITERALLY. I look at some of my old photos and think ‘WHO WAS I...ew.’ I had such a bad fashion sense (I was so insecure about myself and no wonder - stripy tights with a stripy dress? Wuuuut :D), OH, and don’t get me started on the poses, whyyyyyyyyy?!

Me and my brother had this thing for months where we were both always looking for the best tasting food combinations and this one time he came up with the idea of chocolate and cheese. Sounds weird but it was actually SO GOOD. My cousin came up with one years ago, which was grapes and ketchup - when we heard her come out with ‘grapes and ketchup’ we were like ‘YA NASTAY, ew’ ... yeah... kids, our radar was correct and it was one of the most disgusting things that had ever entered our mouths - we spat it out so far that we could’ve entered the Olympics and brought in a new sport called ‘grape spitting but with a twist.’

When I was younger I used to make snail houses for all the snails in the back garden using emptied yoghurt pots and pieces of bark. I would make literal sign posts around the garden saying who’s house was who’s (so, the ones that I can remember is Tabitha and Oliver’s houses), feed them with grass and dandelions and decorate with daisies and “mini trees” (broken bush branches with leaves still attached). Just a little insight into my childhood :D

Other things younger Abi did:

- Stick her head out of the window when going down the motorway to see how it felt to be a dog

- Making grass and dandelion “soup” with water in the crate of one of these beauties:

- Gripping her hair back on each side of the head really slicked back and tight (it looked horrendous and I only realised after the phase had passed)

- I asked for books and DS games for birthdays (I still would to be honest)

- I used to sing specifically over bumpy roads because it made me “sound better” 

- I would line all of my teddies at the end of the bed before going to sleep and in the morning I would find a war sight, as though someone had been on a massacre during my sleeping hours 

- I once was caught talking in my sleep and I said ‘Thank you Jesus for my chip sticks and lemon cake, amen’

- I once played Mary in the nativity at my old church and they wanted me to hold Joseph’s hand but I didn’t want to because ‘he’s a boy and it would look like I love him’ 

- It was cool to wear glitter spray in my hair when we went to school discos in primary school (oh, and you can’t forget the long skirts so that we could spin around all cute and flowy)  

- My mum let me do my hair from around age 10 and I used to scrape my hair back into pigtails, so much so that my face was stretched to the max 

- I used to love 3/4 length trousers because I liked them (I cringe now because I looked disgusting - I looked like I was about to go shovel some poop out of a cow barn)

- I would collect coloured sweet wrappers and toilet rolls to make telescopes with them (I made binoculars once and they actually turned out pretty cool)

- I used to think I was a seagull whisperer (literally)

- I would become really jealous of all the kids posing with animals in the kids animal magazines so I drew sad faces on them

- I wrote stories in my notepads and one that I can remember was one about Lego people making a theme park

- I used to try and fit a whole packet of the mini pringles into my mouth at once (I actually did it as well... took a few tries though)

- I was ‘the wind’ in one of my school productions in year 4 (I was also a tree one year)

-  I had a dream once that me, my best friend and Horrid Henry were BFF’s living in the purple hand gang tree house (I was that kind of British Kid)

- I didn’t like it when boys talked to me because I was scared that my mum thought I liked them when I didn’t 

- I was in a drama club at ages 7-10 years old (I think) and a dance club around the same age (I was terrible in both because I was so shy)

- I cried when I read the human encyclopedia at aged 8/9 (you’d have to ask me why in person because I’m not writing it on here :D) 

Soooooooo, I hope you enjoyed that little insight into my weird and random childhood. If any of you who are reading know me in person message me some of your stories because I am so curious as to find out if I was the only queer child. 

Bhai Felicia and have a magical, wonderful day. Adios :) <3

[madmadaasia]

Ameerika unistused praetud kana ja Trumpiga /American dreams with fried chicken and Trump

Kui pakutakse võimalust tasuta maailma teise otsa minna ja makstakse veel peale ka, siis kes ütleks ei?! Madli igatahes ei öelnud ja suundus eelmisel suvel unistuste USAsse, mille eesotsas oli siis palavalt armastatud Obama.

Alustuseks väike maratonsööming lennul USAsse (sest well kui USA lennufirmaga lendad siis suu käib nii kaua kuni lennuk õhus püsib ja kui sa kogemata mälumise lõpetad, siis on stujardess uue juustukäntsakaga platsis) ning siis olimegi juba pesuehtsas lõunaosariigis Tennessees. 

When you’re offered a chance to go to the other side of the world for free then who would say no?! Madli didn’t and headed to USA last summer where beloved Obama was still on the lead.

For starters I had a food marathon on the flight to USA (cause if you’re flying with US airlines then you’ll eat as long as the plane is in the air and if you accidentally stop chewing then the air hostess is back with another chunk of cheese).

Kantriosariik Tennessee y’all. / Country music state Tennessee.

Sihtkohtaks oli “väikelinn” Chattanooga, kust leidis iga nurga pealt praetud kana, kiriku ja mõne ülekaalulise orava. Tennessee on kohalike seas tuntud kui “The buckle on the bible belt”, mis tähendab et tegu on ühe usklikuima osariigiga, st palju vabariiklasi ja Trumpi pooldajaid. Hmm, kõlab usuleigele eestlasele nagu hea väljakutse eks? 

My destination was a “small town” called Chattanooga where you could find some fried chicken, a church and an (overweight) squirrel on every corner. Tennessee is also known as “the buckle on the bible belt” which means it’s one of the most religious states in USA (and alongside with that has lot of Republicans and Trump supporters). Hmm, sounds like an interesting challenge for a non-religious Estonian right?

Superman Trump tuleb alati appi./ Superman Trump always helps.

Chattanooga, TN.

Ja väljaspool linna ei lennanudki ringi vaid põhupallid, päris mets oli. / And outside of the city there weren’t just balls of hay rolling around, they had some real forest there!

Tegu polnud aga üldse lõbureisiga, vaid läksin suvel USAsse õppima, sest jälle why not? Toimus sotsiaalse ettevõtluse suveülikool Tennessee ülikoolis Chattanoogas, kus töötasime grupi Euroopa noorteliidritega välja maailmapäästvaid plaane ja aitasime kohalikku kogukonda (värvisime maju, töötasime toidupangas jne).

But it wasn’t just a trip for fun. I actually went to study there, cause why not? I took part of the social entrepreneurship summer program in the Tennessee University at Chattanooga where young leaders from all over Europe designed world saving plans and helped the local community (we helped at the food bank, painted some houses etc.).

Noored maailmaparandjad Euroopast. / Young world improvers from Europe.

Seni kuni teised leitsakus maja ülemisi osi värvisid, suutsin mina end tugevale eesti naisele kohaselt sokutada värvimistööd tegema veranda alla, kus ma endale mustmiljon putukasõpra sain... Jee! / At the same time when others were painting the upper part of the house I got a fun job to paint the area under the porch. Needless to say on that day I made friends with millions of bugs:).

Tegelikult oli lõbu ka päris palju, sest kui sul on grupp eurooplasi 16st riigist ja ameeriklasi, siis see igavust küll ei tähenda. Omal nahal sai kogeda tõelist USA ühika- ja tudengielu: SUURED ühikakortereid (kus konditsioneer suutis välja võluda tõelise talveilma), punaste topsidega peod, Starbucks’id iga nurga peal. Ja “kodu/spordi/tuduriided” sobisid igal pool käimiseks, sest tundub, et ameeriklased on “all about comfort”. Koduriietega olid kodus, poes, koolis, peol, kusiganes...

Actually there was also lots of fun. When you’ve a group of Europeans from 16 different countries and a bunch of Americans then you’ll never feel bored for sure. I got to experience the real American dorm and student life. BIG student apartments (where the AC could fill the rooms with winter breezes), famous red cup parties, Starbucks on every corner. And the clothes you wore at home or in the gym suited for every occasion: for shopping, parties, school etc. 

Starbucks on tudengielu keskpunkt./ Starbucks is the center of student life.

Ja toit, uuh. Tennessee asub otse KFC-osariigi Kentucky all, seega ei tule üllatusena, et ka praetud kana vintsutatakse siin kõige rohkem. Tegelikult ükskõik mida, mis on praetud, frititud või muud moodi õlis leotatud. Aga need portsjoinid ja kogused… Kohalikus söö-palju-jaksad ülikoolisööklas alla 10 erineva toiduleti pole küll vastuvõetav. On salatilett, võileivalett, pizzalett, burksi/nugget’i lett, praelett, pastalett, koogi/magustoidulett, joogilett, supilett, jäätiselett… Võta kõike, mida hing vaid ihaldab! Üllatuslikult polnud praetud kana letti, seega arenguruumi veel on. Tegime omakeskis nalja, et kui ameeriklased Euroopasse tuleksid, siis nad jääksid nälga, sest tavaliselt panevad söögitädid sulle portsjoni taldriku peale valmis, mis USAga võrreldes on täiesti miniatuurne kogus.

Oh and the food. Tennessee is situated just under the KFC-state Kentucky which means fried chicken is widely loved in there too. Actually people love everything that is fried, deep-fried or in any other way soaked in oil. And the portions.. In the local all-you-can-eat university diner you could find so-so many service areas: for salad, for sandwiches, for pizza, for burgers/nuggets, for hot main, for pasta, for cakes/cookies, for drinks, for soups, for ice-cream.. And you could take everything what you wanted! Surprisingly there wasn’t a special place for fried chicken so there’s still some room for progress. We joked that if Americans would come to Europe they would starve because there are mostly plates with standardized meal sizes and compared to USA they’re miniature.

Üks tavaports. / One regular meal.

Lemmiksöögitädi./ Favourite diner lady.

4.juulil (iseseisvuspäev) otsustati Euroopa külalised sokutada pesapallimängu VIP-tsooni, kus jällegi, no surprise olid ilmatusuured toidukuhjad ja parim vaade pesapallipoistele. 

On 4th of July (Independence Day) we were invited to watch a baseball match! In the VIP zone! With tons of food again and the best view of the game! 

Pesapallipoisid. / The baseball boys.

Legendaarne 4.juuli ilutulestik. / Legendary 4th of July fireworks.

Mängu lõpus kutsuti välismaised staarid (aka meie) keset väljakut superhitte laulma:

In the end of the game the foreign superstars (aka us) were invited to the middle of the field to sing some superhits:

Veel viidi välismaised külalised Coca-Cola pealinna Atlantasse, 

They also took us to Atlanta - the city of Coca-Cola,

kantripealinna Nashville’i, 

to the country music capital Nashville,

kosmosekeskuselinna Houston’i 

to the space center in Houston

ning põhjapool asuvatesse linnadesse nagu, tippülikoole Harvardit ja MIT’d majutav Boston, kus käisime külas JFK-l, 

And to the northern cities like Boston, where we visited JFK,

ja Paul oli ka seal!

and Paul was there too!

ning siis Washington D.C.-sse.

and then to Washington D.C.

Lincoln Memorial.

Kõige suurem üllatus oli raudselt see, et kohati tundus Lõuna-USA-s valitsevat täiesti teine reaalsus kui see ühes eeskujulikus Lääne riigis peaks olema. Pimedas ei tohiks üksinda väljas käia (nt oli ühikate juures iga teatud vahemaa taga üks helkiv “politseipost”, mille nuppu sai hädaohus olles vajutada, et abi kutsuda), tänavatel võitlevad gängid (kes sind õhupüssiga võivad tulistada), siiani on laialt levinud rassism, relvad on kättesaadavamad kui alkohol (relva saab omada al 18a ja alkoholi 21a) ja laiuvad toidukõrbed (ehk vaesematest ühiskonnagruppidest asuvad toidupoed üsna kaugel). Mingis mõttes muutis see, et USA pole musterlaps ja ka nemad võitlevad väga suurte probleemidega selle riigi minu jaoks palju inimlikumaks.

The biggest surprise of all was definitely the feeling that at times the Southern-USA felt like a totally different reality compared to what the perfect Western country should be. You shouldn’t go out in the dark alone (e.g. there are shining “police poles” around and when you’re in danger you can push a button on these poles and it’ll automatically call the police), the are gangs fighting on the streets, racism is still very much alive, guns are very accessible and there are food deserts around the city (which means that the grocery stores are sometimes very far away for some of the poorer segments of the society). In a way the feeling that USA wasn’t flawless and they also struggled with major problems made this country much more humane and relatable for me.

Samas on halva kõrval on alati ka palju head. Üks omadus, mida kohalike juures tõsiselt imetlen on nende äärmine leidlikkus võluda mittemillestki välja nii palju. Võtame nt Chattanooga - kord üks saastatumaid linnu USAs on nüüd rohelinnade musternäidis. Ameeriklased haaravad härjal sarvist ka siis kui sarved vahepeal puuduvad, aga tulevad ikkagi toime ja saavutavad enamgi veel. Ma arvan, et seda tasub meil eurooplastel küll neilt õppida. Ja nii elabki ameerika unistus edasi.

At the same time everything’s not always bad and there’re also many good things. One aspect that I really admire is the ability of Americans to make something great out of almost nothing. Even when there’s not a lot of chance to succeed. Let’s take Chattanooga for example. Once it was one of the most polluted cities in USA and now it becoming an example of successful green cities. Americans take the pull by the horns even if the bull doesn’t have any horns and they somehow manage the situation and even achieve success. I think that’s something Europeans can definitely learn from them. And that’s how the American dream keeps living on.

Uute seiklusteni!

Until new adventures!

Madlike