#till someone recommended the book in a podcast

[tenrose]

I've finishe Bird Box, the book, I haven't seen the movie but the concept of having a character blindfolded work very well for the book. It cut all descriptions out, and you really can feel the fear and anxiety because as the reader you are only provided with what the character can touch, smell, hear and feel. And I'm kinda curious how they managed to make it work for the movie since it's a media based on visuals.

[jemeryl]

As someone overwhelmed at the prospect of reparenting myself, where do I start?

I'm sorry I didn't see this earlier, I've been using social media very sporadically this year. I have a lot of thoughts on this topic to share that are based on my long and ongoing healing journey.

This is going to be a lot of information about something that's already overwhelming, so I've tried to include advice on how to deal with the overwhelm of it all.

Disclaimer: I'm not a mental health professional. With that in mind, these are what i consider the main aspects:

Physical Reparenting (getting your needs met/asking for help)

Emotional Reparenting (understanding what you're going through)

Finding Other Kids to Play With (making healthy connections) (highlighted because it's the one most personal to me!)

1 - Physical Reparenting: getting your needs met/asking for help

I put this at the top because you need to stay alive in order to heal, and sometimes that's all you can manage. That means feeding yourself and your dependents, cleaning, doing laundry, UGH. Your parents didn't teach you how to do any of that, but other people can. And when you don't have the energy to ask, or you feel too ashamed, you have the internet!

A search engine can help you with even the most basic of topics. How do I brush my teeth? How do I do my laundry? How do I make friends?

Importantly, there is now lots of advice on how to do these things when you're struggling. For example: disposable paper plates and cups mean you don't have to do dishes. There are recipes you can learn so you can get a healthy meal with minimum effort.

I've found reddit great for this, eg: mom for a minute and cleaning tips. I've usually found that you can ask anything, even the most embarrassing thing, and people will either give you advice or direct you to where you can find out more.

You can't learn it all at once: focus on one thing at a time and find something that works. Once you've built the muscle memory for that one thing, you can focus on learning a new thing. That way, over time, you can build up your toolbox and turn your attention to other things. Such as...

2 - Emotional Reparenting: Understanding what you're going through

Often when we're abused or neglected, we lack the language to articulate or even understand what we went through, let alone heal from it. Once you understand what happened to you and why you act the way you do, you can start to figure out how to come back from it. This is where you learn to parent yourself emotionally.

There are lots of resources, so find one that resonates with you. Stick with it till you've got what you need from it, then move onto the next.

Here are some resources I've personally found helpful, based on what form of media you like to consume.

Books: From surviving to thriving by Pete Walker, The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk

Podcast: Respectful Parenting by Janet Lansbury. This is aimed at parents of infants and toddlers, but I'm finding it extremely helpful in being compassionate to myself and others when feelings are running high.

YouTube: Heidi Priebe; The Crappy Childhood Fairy. These two make videos on attachment trauma and various things related to CPTSD. Also on specific issues that crop up in our relationships and daily lives. They also are great for recommending other resources that you might find helpful.

3 - Finding other kids to play with: Making healthy connections

Playing is super important, whatever age you are! So many of us were too busy parenting our parents, or we never had anyone to play with, or we only ever got bullied. It's an essential part of childhood development that we missed in some way. This is something I find distinct about reparenting and treating childhood trauma.

This is hardest part by far, imo, but a vital one. Going to therapy is a great step. Devouring content and learning how to meet your basic needs is essential. But I believe true healing can only take place by establishing and maintaining genuine connections with others. Playing is the perfect way to do that!

Connecting with people is easier said than done, so how the heck do you go about it, you may ask? Keep going, gentle reader, because I have got some tried and tested advice for you!

This is the long one, so skip to the bottom for the tldr.

Mental health support groups are great, but spending all your time talking about how miserable you are can get you stuck ruminating and make you feel even shittier. That's something to be mindful of.

I recommend joining a group activity, like a sport, band, or gaming club.

Ideally something you're passionate about, your hyperfixation, even if it feels cringe. A structured activity gets everyone motivated to meet up regularly (something that's very hard to do for the purpose of just hanging out); all the burden of making conversation is taken off because you can all focus on the task at hand; and you have to practice communicating with one another to make it work.

Connecting with people is scary, and you will make mistakes and get hurt. It's important to keep trying anyway.

You will run into people like you, who are suffering and trying to better themselves. They will act out because they can't help it. They'll flake, they'll ghost, they'll accuse you of being abusive because they can't tell if it's abuse, a genuine mistake, constructive criticism, what have you. They sometimes turn into abusers themselves because they're now in a situation where they can punch down and get away with it. That makes people feel powerful in a way they've never felt before, which is seductive.

You might do any and all of these things, but you can learn to fix your behaviour. You will find people who'll establish appropriate boundaries, support your growth, and you will emerge as a healthier, better person.

The key is to find a peer group that is committed to healing together.

This takes time and experimentation, but you are not alone. You will find people of all ages and walks of life who will walk this path with you. This is what all the resources and books are for: learning to identify how to make connections and build a community that's healthy and supportive. Where you will probably fuck up and hurt each other, but will fight to come back from it and fight to grow together. This is where you will build the healthy, enriching relationships you should've have from the very beginning.

You may need to sever unhealthy connections.

It's extremely painful and difficult to cut off a family member, partner, or friend who's bad for you, and this is a whole topic on its own. However, you can develop a sense of when to stay and when to leave, and even though it's hard and lonely, you will be able to find people who are better for you. That will make it easier to know who to commit to in the long run.

TLDR: Focus on the social thing that brings you the most joy.

It takes a few tries to find out what is the best thing for you. Once this is stable, then you can expand your horizons.

Personal example: For this entire year, my main social focus has been keeping my Dungeons & Dragons groups going. I have two games a week on average, so I get to DM and play. Now that that's stable, I can go back to other friendships, and stuff I neglected (such as social media). The people who are worth it are the people who would never hold it against me for going off the grid for awhile.

I hope this has been helpful!

[otrtbs]

Hello this is probably a very vague question but I figured ur the best person to ask, you just came into my head as I was thinking about it! Long story short, I kind of really wish I’d picked Art History as one of my A-Levels (I picked Psychology instead and will regret it till the day I die lol) and I just wondered if you had any recommendations of how to get into the subject?

Artists to look up or just anywhere that has cool resources for someone who knows *nothing* about it but rlly wants to 😭 sorry this is probably hard to answer but thank you anyway!! <33 I hope ur doing well!

omg ahh hello!! i am going to ramble

so, if you want to start with artists, it's probably best you pick a time period or movement that you really enjoy and then you can read about the artists who pioneered those movements. BUT i will give you some of my favorite artists to read about!

Caravaggio- anything about him! if you want to look him up peruse his works! he's quite a character. he's a murderer for starters. he also gets arrested for throwing artichokes at waiters, writing slanderous poems, hiring assassins to kill his rival painters, throwing rocks at cops, and for falling on his own sword (that he had illegally). also the pope literally orders his death so he has to run away. if you like drama and absurdity and baroque art he's your guy!

Artemisia Gentileschi- if you want to see baroque art of women made by a woman she is your girl! the way she paints women naturalistically instead of highly stylized is so progressive and in a time when women weren't allowed to do anything, her achievements as arguably the greatest baroque painter ever are really impressive. her backstory is a pretty tragic and upsetting one, but she's amazing!

Van Gogh- if you like post-impressionist art, which tends to be a lot of people's favorite movement then Van Gogh is a good one! highly recommend reading the letters vincent van gogh wrote to his brother, and art dealer, Theo. they make me cry and i love them!

If you like more modern art, Marcel Duchamp is a fun one to read about. He had an alter ego named Rosé Selavy (sounds like eros, c'est la vie play on words! very cool!) and he kinda kicked off the modern art movement! Andy Warhol of course (notably his time working with Basquiat, homie also gets shot by the woman who wrote the Scum manifesto) Martha Rosler did some amazing things in the 70s (semiotics in the kitchen is a personal favorite of mine) and The guerrilla girls!!!!! (if you like the 90s feminist movement) you can find some books and podcasts and other resources i like here! and here! for just looking at art, exploring different artists and movements and even virtually touring museums, google arts and culture!!!! you can sort paintings by color, artist, movement, time period, location, etc. and they have several museums that you can do a virtual walk through of. also just reading the descriptions of things gives you a feel for how people talk and write about art! if you're looking for good art criticism i recommend looking into Jerry Saltz, Kenny Schachter, Roberta Smith, John Berger, Lucy Lippard! Khan Academy is the best free resource and has entire free course dedicated to art history that you can go through here! they break down how to look at art, different approaches to it, teach you about chronological periods etc. (literally everything you could want to know!)

[amysgiantbees]

Questions - Spirit Box Radio

I ADORE Spirit Box Radio! I just finished and am in the process of making some fanart and updating the wiki atm and so I'm doing a re-listen before moving on to other Hanging Sloth stuff. But I just finished listening to the episodes where Eira is going back through the show and if he's looking for questions to answer I thought I'd put this out there. I'll keep adding to this as I go through the show again or till they finish doing his retrospective. With my ADHD nothing sinks in all the way the first time so I'll definitly think of more as I go.

I can't recommend this show enough. Especially if complicated and realistic sibling dynamics are near and dear to your heart like me. it's beautiful, my room mates were concerned because I was crying listening to it.

So questions...

BTW feel free not to answer these I know some stuff is more fun when left up to interpretation and like I said above you might have explained and my ADHD just did not catch it.

Is Oliver human now? Or was he just that way in the pocket dimension Sam created? Same for Kitty and Indi?

Is Sam going to get a regular job now or live off Oliver's wealth?

If Sam had a regular job besides radio hosting what do you think it would be? Same with Kitty or Indi?

I remember someone else asking about flowers in a QnA so I hope this isn't that exact same question but if Oliver was to make a bouquet for one of the characters, any you like, what would he do? It can be just vibes.

Not a question but I really adore how complicated the sibling dynamics are. Like it says something that Kitty has a less complicated relationship with the person who was involved in killing her brother.

You said Spirit Box Radio was originally conceived as a book. Would you ever give releasing it as a book another go?

In the mid season 1 Q&A you said that to figure out the characters you think about their likes and interests. Is there anything like that that didn't make it into the podcast?

[familyparadox]

Can someone recommend me some fun and silly big Finish stories. Sometimes it seems to me that all the EU is dark and bleak yet I know there is fun stuff out there but I am never good at finding it. And whilst I know an awful lot about the books, comics and some of the most obscure parts. I am ashamed to say that beyond the Benny stuff I am mostly ignorant of Bog Finish. Not say it is bad, it just took me a little longer to discover it, when I started I came from the books and the webcasts. And the webcasts called towards more books and the minister of chance podcast. But I never reached big Finish till a few years ago. And the fact that they all cost so much but don’t last as long as book was a bit of putting until I became more comfortable. But I want a fun silly story not a bleak and dark story, like the one I am reading (Doctor Who the Indestructible Man and by god that is the bleakest story I have read in a while) but sometimes I need a laugh and yes Lady Aesc is fun, but sometimes I need to rest my eyes and listen to something. Not look at a screen or small words but close my eyes and be consumed by the story. So does anyone have some fun silly stories, with outta much bleak humour, or dark twists (so No Doctor Who and the Pirates).

So any recommendations?

[suniltams]

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[siamusotima-aranea]

Bring me all the Ace and / or Aro media!

I’m on a mission! To consume Ace and / or Aro media. (Down for nonbinary / agender / genderqueer etc type content too.) Mainly just for my own enjoyment. The following is what I’ve already seen/ read/ consumed, and my general thoughts and opinions currently. (MY opinions, other people may like or hate them, and that is their business.)

The Magnus Archives Finished it, loved it. The Ace rep here is... good and bad depending on how you look at it. Wiser people then me have written about it. This podcast and some of the great Ace and / or Aro fic writers in the fandom really helped me figure out some things about myself, so for that reason it has a place in my heart.  The Murderbot Diaries      I love the fuck out of this series. I’ve never related to a charicter more. Some people don’t like when representation comes in the form of non human characters, which is understandable, but I don’t tend to mind.  The Outer Worlds I’ve not finished the whole game, but I finished Parvati Holcomb’s parts, and I loved it so much. The part in the bar where she talks about her worries, and where you can tell her you (the player) are Ace and / or Aro, was so good and beautiful, and it made me cry. Parvati Holcomb has a permanent place in my heart.  Gender Queer: A Memoir I love this comic. I didn’t know it existed until I stumbled upon it in my local barns and noble. There was something so special about finding this comic, that I can relate to so deeply, in the middle of the bookstore I basically grew up in. Like...like this book belongs here, unquestionably, and so do I. It inspired me to want to write about my own experiences (someday) Common Bonds: A Speculative Aromantic Anthology I haven't finished it. Not because it’s not good, just because I have such a hard time finishing things. The first story was amazing!! Jar of Rebuke  I like it so far! Still a lot to go, I think.   Critical Role God I just can’t get into it, but I so deeply want to. I’ve heard great things, but every time I sit down to start listening I get so booored. I will keep trying.  Hello from the Hallowoods.  God damn it, I WANT TO LOVE THIS PODCAST, but I have yet to get into it. I will keep trying.  Every heart a doorway I hated it. Others may like it, I did not.  Lets talk about love I’ve not finished it. I rented it from the library, and ran out of time. That first CH hit hard, but in a good way. I’ll give it another go when I can.  Last 8 I’m bad a finishing things. returned it to the library, didn’t get far. Will try again. Moses Sumney’s Aromanticism I really liked it, but I need to give it a re-listen to like, have any real opinions beyond, “ooh sounds so pretty!”  A lady's guide to petticoats and piracy I’m in the middle of this one right now. Felicity has some really relatable moments early on. If someone asked me for my hand in marriage, I also would simply ~Leave~. I’m enjoying it, but its just kind of lost my attention now in the middle, I’ll hold my opinions till i’m finished. Though the amount of times she says “ I’m Felicity Montague!!, I blah blah..etc” It drives me up the fucking wall. Forgivable, but obnoxious.  I also mistakenly skipped the first book in the series.  There's more, but that's all I’m gonna mention for now. I’m still coming down from a flair up and should be saving my hand spoons for other things. (I hope that sentence made sense?) Anyway, tell me if you have any recommendations. Or if something on here was really special to you, tell me about it! I love to hear about people connecting with and / or enjoying media (even if that media wasn’t a hit for me.) (Though if you hate something I like, I don’t really wanna hear it.)

[krushnalpatil]

This Combination Is A Great Career Option

Hello guys, I am Krushnal Patil welcome back to my new blog post. In today's blog post I am going to tell you what I want to become before starting my business and how will I achieve it.

Today's blog post is going to be very interesting and important. So read until the end. Let's begin...

What will be my amazing career?

As you know guys that Technology is enhancing every single day. New things are created daily by researchers. Also, many people are using technology every single day. Many people want to study technology.

This means that there is a high demand for technology and demand will also be in the future. Many will exist in the future only because of technology. So learning new things daily is important. If we stop learning today then it will hurt us in the future. This completely means that Artificial Intelligence will dominate in the future. So it is Artificial Intelligence and its subsets are the best career options.

I want to enter the field of Artificial Intelligence and understand it from A to Z completely. I am very curious about technology and many things related to it. So I have a great interest in Artificial Intelligence. That is why I choose my career in Artificial Intelligence and Business.

Artificial Intelligence and Business are a great combination. If often ask the question that who will become the first trillionaire. Many AI specialists and businessmen say that the person whose business is related to AI will become the 1st Trillionaire. The AI field doesn't have any end. It will evolve itself.

It is found that the number of jobs destroyed by Artificial Intelligence is less than the jobs it creates. But you should know the things related to Artificial Intelligence. So guys in short I want to become an AI

specialist. Also, it is predicted that the requirement for AI specialists will increase by 74%. So AI specialist is a great option.

How will I become an AI specialist?

I have decided to become a self-taught AI specialist. As you know that Elon Musk said that everything is available basically for free. I don't want to go to any university. There are several reasons for it.

Some of them are that you can learn many more things related to it by sitting in the comfort of your home, there is no need to go to college. The second reason is that in the university you can learn limited topics in a limited period, but if you learn by yourself there is no limit. Also, there are many reasons. So I have decided to learn by myself.

If you want any guidance during your course then we can contact thousands of experts on social media or you can pay someone a small amount to talk with him/her. I will do the same.

I will use any available information to become an AI specialist. There many books, courses, podcasts, blogs, articles, magazines available on the internet which is more than what is sufficient to become an AI specialist.

I have collected sufficient information from the web like courses, podcasts, books, and many other things. Some of the courses are paid for, so you will require some money there. There is no need to buy books as I have stated the world's largest E-Library in my previous blog post. You can check it out.

So if you want to become an AI specialist you can search for an AI specialist on any social media and ask for guidance. If you want the list of the courses, books, and much other information that will help me to become an AI specialist, then comment down or DM me on Instagram. I'm going to give it for free. Also, this information is recommended by many AI specialists. So I am encouraging you to DM me on Instagram. My Instagram ID is @iamkrushnal.

I hope that you loved today's blog post. If you found something valuable in it, then please like it. We will meet in the very next blog post, till the time bye-bye...

[captain-k-jones]

11 Questions

I was tagged by @yossariandawn​! Thanks love! It has been a crazy few days and all your tags were a nice distraction!

Rule 1: post the rules Rule 2: answer the questions the person who tagged you asked and write 11 new ones Rule 3: tag 11 people and link them to the post Rule 4: actually tell them you tagged them

Your Questions:

1. Set two fictional couples you love on a double date, and tell me how would that play out? One word answers are acceptable if you prefer.

Lets do Kastle & SethKate: I think that would definitely be interesting. Kate and Karen could talk about their over the top boyfriends while Frank and Seth stared at each other grumply. 

2. Do you like candles? If so, what’s your favorite candle scent?

I love candle but I have severe asthma and allergies so I tend to stick to “light” smells like vanilla or apple. 

3. What’s the perfect fic you’ve been craving that wish someone else would write already?

I really really really want some hardcore angst with a happy ending. Maybe Kastle with Karen really mad about the whole “I don’t want to” line and really really making Frank work to earn her trust back - almost to the point where he considers giving up. I love hardcore angst. 

4. If you could have an 15 minute conversation with any fictional character, who would you choose?

Yikes. Um... either Frank Castle or Killian Jones. 

5. Above question continued, what would you talk about?

Mostly I just want to hug them and tell them that despite what they think, they are not horrible/broken people. I’d also tell Frank that he was a good husband and father. 

6. What’s one weird thing you loved as a child?

This really ugly gorilla stuffed -but not soft- animal that sucked his thumb. He was raggedy and looked terrible but I carried him everywhere. He looked like this new (which was LONG before I got him at at garage sale): 

7. Any songs that make you always think of a character?

Simple Man & Bad Company make me think of Dean Winchester

8. How well can you swim, and do you enjoy swimming?

I am an awesome swimmer - I just hate doing it LOL

9. Recommend me a new show, movie, or song!

My go to recommendations are always Spartacus, Black Sails, or From Dusk till Dawn. Since you already watch Dusk - check out the other two!

10. What’s your favorite food that you make?

I hate cooking. Like despise it so so much. However, I enjoy beef & noodles when I make it. 

11. Draft the perfect Zombie Apocalypse Survival Team, 5 characters from any show or movie.

Frank Castle, Shane Walsh, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, & Seth Gecko - I think I’ll do okay!

My Questions:

1. What is your favorite season and why?

2. What was the show that got you into tumblr/fandom?

3. What are you reading currently (fanfic or book)?

4. If you could live anywhere, where would you chose and why?

5. Favorite subject in school?

6. Dogs or cats?

7. Last song you listened to?

8. Other than tumblr and fandom, what are your hobbies?

9. If you were going to listen to a fandom podcast what would you want them to talk about?

10. Who would win: Hulk or Superman?

11. Name one show you enjoy that is underrated.

Tagging: @fortysevenswrites, @heidiamalia, @heartonfirewrites, @thevampirecat, @aspie-allie, @anna-hawk, @karenpaage, @it-may-be-dull-but-im-determined, @carry-the-sky, @cat-sophia​, @redbelles​ 

(feel free to ignore if you are not feeling up to it!)

[eintsein]

Stay Energized in the Winter!

I live in Ithaca now, and at this time of year, the sun’s up for like 8-9 hours a day, and it’s cold and dark, and you often find yourself not wanting to do anything. However, I still need to keep up with my studies, and I’m sure some of you are faced with a similar problem. So, I’ve gathered some of the things I do to help me stay energized throughout a winter day.

Understand your energy levels and work with them

I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect yourself to be able to do as much work or be as energized in the colder months as you do in warmer months.

For example, maybe in the summer/fall, you could survive with 5 hours of sleep and more intense work sessions, but in the winter, you might need more breaks and more sleep, and trying to resist that might result in the further deterioration of your energy levels. If you don’t already, try taking a midday break.

You shouldn’t feel guilty for having to recharge. You’ll be more productive afterwards.

Get enough sunlight

Exposure to sunlight boosts your mood by increasing your body’s serotonin levels - one of the happy hormones. It makes you more alert, energized, and prevents you from getting Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).

My advice is to spend as much daylight time doing things so you can do them the most productively. Even if you’re more inclined to do things later in the day, at least push forward some of the things on your daily routine, or rearrange them in such a way that you get as much sunlight possible.

This semester - unfittingly called the ‘spring’ semester - I tried to schedule my classes as early as possible, even though I generally get sluggish in the afternoon and then work better in the evening. This is because I want to have time to do my work - or at least be out - while the sun’s still up.

Exercise where you can

It’s so hard to exercise outdoors in this weather, but I still see people going for jogs around campus, or hitting the gym. Personally, I just do some stretching and light exercise in my room.

Alternatively, if you take the bus, get off a stop early then walk the rest of the way (unless there’s terrible weather like a snowstorm or something where being outside is harmful). The key thing is that you get yourself moving, especially in the morning - you’ll be more productive and happier throughout the day.

Shower

I know the winter’s cold and you don’t feel like you have to take a shower, especially since it can make your skin dry. However, it’s a great energy booster, especially in the morning. Showering in the morning improves your blood flow and alertness, and reduces your stress levels throughout the day. If you don’t have time in the morning, shower in the evening, so you’ll have more energy after the sun goes down..

Make plans or have something to look forward to

Nothing is more draining than knowing that you have nothing to do, nothing to look forward to. You’ll probably just end up in your bed watching Netflix all day, which, let’s face it, might be fun at first but turns out to be a hell of an energy drainer. Go out to eat, study with someone, or at least watch something together.

Indulge yourself

Curl up with a good book. Watch your favorite show. Play some tunes while you sketch your favorite characters or OCs. It’s the winter, you deserve a little break to recover. If you don’t relax every now and then, you won’t be able to work as intensely and focus as hard as you want or need to.

Also, although it’s great to eat healthy, but a cup of hot cocoa or a muffin once in a while is fine and makes you happier in that moment.

Work on an indoor hobby

You’re going to spend a lot of time indoors, might as well use that time usefully (aside from schoolwork or other obligations). I like doing creative things like digital art, journaling, or bullet journaling while listening to a podcast, or reading - these types of activities are the most energizing for me.

You don’t need to do the things I listed - the point is, you should use your time indoors wisely, since during other parts of the year, you’ll probably be out a lot more.

Listen to the right music

I don’t know what y’all listen to but music is an awesome energy booster if you can align it with how you’re feeling. You know how sometimes you listen to a certain type of music and your mind just feels like it’s hovering there, like it’s slightly repelled by the music but you also don’t really hate it, and you just end up feeling unfulfilled afterwards? (That was a trash explanation but I hope you understand what I mean.) Yeah don’t do that.

During the day, listen to music that keeps you awake and energized - it could be hard hitting rock or dance-y pop or maybe even something mellow. Whatever it is, don’t try to counter it. I like to listen to roaring guitars in the morning, and slow jazz in the evening, and that works for me.

Get enough sleep (‘enough’ might be more than you usually get)

During the winter, you can take advantage of the cold and cozy weather to get more sleep. I know it’s tempting to keep working until you finish all your tasks, but if it means sacrificing your sleep, you’ll only end up depriving yourself of your already low levels of energy. Also, make sure you get good quality sleep so that you’ll be as energized as possible the next morning.

However, don’t get too much sleep. This morning, I came into math class, and my friend was like ‘you look really tired today, is something wrong?’ and no, there was nothing wrong. It’s just that this morning, I chose to sleep in until 8 when I usually wake up at 7, meaning I slept more than I should have. Too much sleep just makes you feel groggy once you wake up.

During the day, take a power nap if you have to, but don’t extend it for too long that your sleep inertia kicks in and you can’t get up anymore.

Focus on your food

I think the food we eat - and how we eat it - is a huge factor in maintaining our energy levels during these cold, dark months. So here’s an entire section about food-related strategies to combat the winter blues.

1. Eat well

Winter might tempt you to eat bulky food and sweets, but they’re not that beneficial to your productivity and energy levels. Sugary foods actually cause you to be sleepy during the day and reduce the quality of your sleep at night. Instead, opt to eat foods that contain

Vitamin C - like in fruits and vegetables - to boost your energy levels; and

Vitamin B12 - like fish, milk, and eggs - to reduce fatigue

2. Have good eating habits (don’t skip breakfast!)

In college especially, a lot of people skip breakfast - and sometimes even lunch - only to overeat during dinnertime. However, having a good breakfast - especially one with protein, fiber, and whole grains - will increase your ability to focus and boost your productivity throughout the day. Maybe you’re the type of person who tends to skip breakfast - the winter’s a great time to pick up the habit of having a morning meal. Recently, I’ve been having peanut butter and acai overnight oats - nutritious and convenient.

3. Have caffeine at the right time (if you consume any)

Studies show that the most effective time to have caffeine is between 9:30 to 11:30 am. Even if you have breakfast before that, I recommend waiting a little while before you sip your cup of coffee or whatever source of caffeine you take. You can always bring a cup to class or wherever you’re headed to at that time.

In the evening, I recommend having a cup of tea. Some teas contain enough caffeine to keep you alert but not prevent you from sleeping at night. My favorite is green tea, but other teas like oolong or black tea work just as well.

4. Snack (a little)

But not too much. A single square of chocolate or a couple crackers are great mood boosters, and it even improves cognitive functioning. You could even have a cup of tea along with your snack, which is doubly energizing.

That’s all I have for you now. Feel free to drop an ask or message me if you have any questions, and I hope the rest of the winter goes great for you!

p.s. wml bc I heard the winters here last till April

[lifepros]

#9501

S: how to deal with isolation from a seasonal worker that lives alone on a farm in rural canada.

So first to give some credence to why I have knowledge in this area. I have been laid off work every year since I was 18, (except to years in college) come Christmas and don’t get to start work till April-May. I live in a community of 800 full time residence, that are generally twenty to thirty years my seniors. I have lived by myself and work by myself throughout the rest of the year. I also have no internet except data on my phone and no television.

1)First off have friends or family or at least people that you phone once a day. It will drive you crazy not hearing another’s voice or having a two way conversation. Call grandma/grandpa, mom, dad, sister/brother, best friend and so on alternately and have a real conversation for half an hour an hour each day with someone at the end. ( it helps family/friends and bonds and will grow your relationship) -do not rely solely on who you live with for social interaction you will learn to hate each other from too much -for ways to have a conversations, talk about common interests, and then what they enjoy, find out why they enjoy these things. Learn to actually debate, if they have an opposing view hear them out, argue about key points and just don’t be blind saying one thing without reasons.(When my gran was alive we’d argue on the phone for an hour about politics, or death penalty neither of us would win but we’d not leave angry)

2) Learn yo meander on tasks, this will be hard for you industrious folks out there but every task can take hours if you go slow, always needing to get something else or get distracted. (Turn a half hour job into multiple hour job). Wash stuck on grime with dishes with only a cloth without a thick brush or steel wool. You have no we’re to be so keep busy. I cut firewood with a chainsaw and though I have an industrial splitter I use an axe.

3) Make tasks for yourself, have you ever pulled out the fridge and cleaned behind it? Have you ever sponge washed the ceiling. Well these task should be done anyway, how’s your time.

4) Read a lot and things you enjoy, everyone has a book they always wanted to finish, lack of books in your house, try FanFiction.Net, Ao3. They’ve got home done fan fictions of stories. Then there’s millions of news articles out there or read up and research skills of what you want to learn.(I’m currently researching building cordwood log homes)(also reading a fan fiction plus two printed books if one gets boring, try another)

5) teach yourself new skills, suck at art. Well here’s your shot at becoming an artist. Rules of thumb are do stuff you might actually enjoy. ( Don’t always go the boring route, if you have a guitar, you don’t need to know how to do everything except learn the AC/DC song. Figure out the one song, your not perfect and they get paid to do it). (I do art and I draw cars and pinup girls, one because if your gonna stare at something for three hours, at least enjoy it).

7) Start to plan your future, not just freaking out about being laid off all these things will end sooner or later and then you’ll deal with it in the future. What’s your long term goal. -ex. You wanna own a restaurant?, a farm?, a log cabin?, or even say you wanna have kids. Become an expert in it. Read up on rules by-laws. Resource packs become so knowledgeable and have such a plan that you can have a countdown clock from when you start working that you can count down till you have enough money to start.

8) Reach out across the world, there’s people stuck inside all over the place right now, start a correspondence with someone you feel that’s interesting(I will recommend starting with 10) it will whittle down quickly) there’s good Reddit’s for that, like r/R4R, r/penpal, r/seekingfriends, plus a whole host of applications. -true letter writing is a time consuming effort that will take a few hours to write, learn to actually format what you see in your life, make it interesting and be able to write to someone, Also finding there life interesting and asking questions. (Young guys, this will help you with dating when this is all over, since ladies hate a bore and someone who isn’t interested in there life)

9) have routines, don’t watch television all the time. As I said do tasks, but if you like ex. blue bloods on thursdays or you watch television at this time. Keep to that routine. Don’t make tv. Or your phone your only go to. 1) it causes restlessness. 2) it causes you to hate your relaxation time.

10) Shut off your damn devices and go to bed at a reasonable time. You’ll start getting pulled into staying up later and later till you sleep the day away and then you will get mad at yourself and then you’ll get depressed and start to spiral.

11) Remember, right now you have all the time in the world so accomplish something, it need not be big but always do something. The grocery stores are still supplying so eat like a king, cook like grandma or mom used to. -don’t eat too much sugars though, being wound up will get you just pissed off if you got nowhere to be.

12) Stay physical, stay active and just enjoy life. It’s the only one you got.

13)Have talk radio or podcasts on for a couple hours each day, the voices will soothe you, you might learn something and they break up the monotony. I listen to Joe Rogan/hardcore history and various other podcasts throughout the day, don’t be afraid to shout back at them your alone, they don’t judge.

P.s the longest I’ve gone without significant human interaction is 14 weeks.

Take care and comment If you have any questions or advice.

[writingdotcoffee]

#107: What's in it for the reader?

Writing a piece of fiction is such a multi-faceted process. You need a plot, relatable characters and vivid setting. You need to pace things right, build up tension and resolve the story in an unexpected yet satisfying manner. Writers agonise about all sorts of things—whether the chapters are the right length, and if they’re putting the crisis in the right place. In the whirlwind that writing a novel ultimately becomes, it’s easy to forget about the most fundamental question of all: who is this for?

Let’s put on a reader hat for a minute. You’re browsing in the bookshop. Thousands and thousands of books fill the shelves from the floor to the ceiling way beyond your reach. You pick a few off the shelf, read the back cover copy, then put them back. When you’ve made up your mind, you take it to the till to pay for it with your hard-earned cash. Back at home, you spend days or weeks reading it. But why?

The consensus these days seems to be that we read books for one of two reasons: to learn something new and to be entertained (broadly). Of course, those two mean different things to different people, but you can’t expect the reader to read your book just because you wrote it. So what’s in it for them?

Why should someone (not everyone) pick your book over the thousand others? We all strive to tell a great story, but what specifically makes your story enjoyable? What makes it better or different from the other stories?

The reader comes to the bookshop with at least a vague idea of the sort of experience they would like to have. They might head to the romance section for some steamy love stories or to the fantasy department for dragons and epic battles between realms. How well does your book deliver on the promise that its cover and genre categorisation make?

In a way, as writers, we are in service of our readers. We have to give them what they’re looking for. That doesn’t mean stitching together set-piece scenes into bullshit commercial narratives. This damn thing needs more explosions!

It means considering your future reader throughout the process of writing and revising your book. Who are they? And why will they be reading it? Important ideas and difficult topics and good intentions are more than welcome, but you can’t expect readers to pick your book just because of that.

Imagine yourself in that bookshop, holding your own book in your hand, reading the back copy. What would it have to be to make you take it to the till?

What I Am Reading?

I started reading The Effective Executive by Peter Drucker this week. It’s one of the books that Tim Ferriss routinely recommends on his podcast. The title sounds hardly appealing, but the book isn’t about shiny suits and playing golf. It’s about having an impact and doing work that matters.

I’ve been in a bit of a reading slump over the past few months. There’s so much going on and finding a quiet moment to sit down with a book has been hard. But it still isn’t a valid excuse. I want to focus on this more going forward.

Want More?

My email subscribers receive a notification when I publish these posts along with a few things I found interesting or helpful on the literary internet every week. Click the link below to join the club.

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Past Editions

#106: Ship Your Art, September 2019

#105: Side Gigs for Writers, August 2019

#104: The Sting of Rejection, August 2019

#103: Do You Just Write?, August 2019

#102: Don’t Break the Chain, August 2019

[thefutureisporcelain]

Amidst the Chaos (2019)

You miss the world The one you knew The one where everything made sense because you didn't know the truth That's how it works Till the bottom drops out And you learn we're all just hunters seeking solid ground

~Sara Bareilles, “Orpheus”

I’m not even going to try to start this out by sugarcoating anything.

2019 has been a really rough year for me. For one pretty clear reason, but also for many many small reasons I’m still trying to muddle through myself.

We will start with the obvious, because that feels just a tiny bit easier to share, and is something most people who will read this already know

My stepmom passed at the end of February/beginning of March after years and years of struggling with a chronic illness. And God, even that feels terrible to say and remember. Because I will never know. I’ve tried as much as I can to make peace with her passing, but there’s still so much that hurts. So much that is confusing. I wonder how and if it is possible to feel both grateful and abandoned. Relieved and yet incredibly incredibly sad. And there are so many days I want to talk about all of those feelings, but I can’t. There’s also a feeling that no one else wants to remember and grieve and feel her memory, but I don’t know how much of that is me or other people or the confusing and busy world we all live in.

But as much as I have tried to find peace, as much as I am grateful in some ways, the truth is I miss her immensely. Grief comes and goes in large and small waves on a daily basis. I will say that one thing that did help me immensely this year was the Looking for Alaska TV series on Hulu. I know many people have mixed feelings on John Green’s books, but for me personally they have always felt like friends speaking to me. Looking for Alaska helped me 10 years ago when I lost a beautiful friend in high school, and the messages and hope portrayed by that novel continue to stay with me. The TV series was beautiful, and I do recommend that everyone watches it, but it was something extra for me. Something special and comforting. Because in so many ways what I felt, and continue to feel, is what Miles and Chip felt. I cried and I laughed and I felt some additional peace after re-experiencing the messages of that story. And I am so grateful once again to John Green for sharing his stories with the world.

"I'll never know her thoughts in those last minutes. We'll never know if she left us on purpose. But the not knowing will not keep me from caring."

Now of course I don’t think you would expect anyone to have a “good” year after losing someone so important. And I’m certain that loss triggered some things for me, but this year has felt hard and weird and sad in so many small ways.

My mental health really took a dip around March/April, and again I’m sure some of that can be traced back to my stepmom’s passing. This entire year really has been plagued by steadily increasing anxiety symptoms and what I think I have finally come to recognize and admit is depression. I’ve struggled to really find joy in much of anything this year, and there have been many weekend days when I can barely bring myself to leave my bedroom even just to cook myself dinner. This year I’ve felt lonelier than ever before. Which has lead to me isolating myself even more, thus exacerbating the loneliness. Which has led to feelings of unworthiness in the eyes of others, thus exacerbating the isolation and loneliness in essentially an endless, ridiculously depressing cycle. Something in particular that I’ve noticed since May is that I can’t bring myself to read books very often anymore, even though I love reading and there are so many books I want to read. But where I used to be able to escape into another world, I now find my mind wandering to scary and lonely places if I sit in silence with a book. I’ve found it easier to watch movies or Netflix (I think I re-watched The West Wing 3 times this year) or listen to podcasts. Easier, maybe, but probably not healthier. 

What has been particularly tough has been to watch myself sink into these low places, but not be able to change anything. To not be able to change anything. Because right now I’m more willing than I’ve ever been to return to therapy. I would run right back to it if I could fucking afford it. Which I definitely can not. My health insurance is already a ridiculous $200/month, and to see a “specialist” (therapist) would be a $100 copay. Lovely. 

And then it’s also been hard to hold all of this in, which is partly why I’m sharing now. No one wants to be “the depressed friend”. Especially when 1) I know I have many things to be grateful for and proud of and 2) Everyone around me seems to be doing so well. But I also don’t think any of us benefit from pretending life is beautiful and wonderful.

So here I am, shouting this into the void: THIS HAS BEEN A REALLY FUCKING TOUGH YEAR FOR ME. 

I lost my stepmom, who meant and continues to mean so much to me. My anxiety and depression have returned with a vengeance. Money has been a struggle the entire fucking year. I’m lonely. I know I’m isolating myself, but I am lonely. And there’s so much I wish I could be doing.

I don’t think we talk enough about how hard your 20s are, because they are the decade of your life when so much is changing, and yet you feel you should have everything figured out and settled. The general media tells us that you should be having the time of your life “when you are young” but in reality being young isn’t as easy as most would like to believe. 

But. BUT. BUT.

I AM SO FUCKING PROUD OF MYSELF FOR MAKING IT THROUGH THIS YEAR. 

And I’m proud of you too. For overcoming whatever internal or external obstacles have plagued you this year. You are amazing, you are strong, and your struggles do not define you. I am here with you, and I love you.

"I've learned that there is hope and that when I feel that there isn't hope my brain is lying to me." –John Green

I do want to share some of the things from 2019 that I am grateful for. Both because I don’t want this entire recap to be depressing, and because I want and need to remind myself that good things do still happen amidst the chaos.

I started a new job in April with a small group of incredible human beings and network of further incredible human beings working at zoos and aquariums. And I truly love this job with all of my heart. It wasn’t what I pictured myself doing 5 or 10 or even 1 year ago. But I love it. I love feeling as though I’m accomplishing something every day. I love helping people and animals. There are also some days where smashing animal poop has been remarkably therapeutic, which helps. And I think I’m good at this job. I feel truly appreciated by everyone that works with me. 

(Side note: Regularly tell your employees/coworkers “Thank you”. You never know how much someone needs to hear that. Those very simple words have helped me immensely this year)

On days when the rest of my life has felt like complete and utter crap, I am grateful that at least I truly look forward to going to work every morning. 

Now, my job for the first 3 months of the year was working at my local humane society, and I did love that job too even if it wasn’t what I dreamed of doing. So I also want to say THANK YOU to everyone there for welcoming me at the beginning of the year, for being happy for me when I moved on to a new job, and for welcoming me back with a smile and warm words when I return every weekend to walk dogs.

2019 was also the year I finally came out as asexual, and I also want to sincerely thank all of my friends and family for being so welcoming and warm and kind. Coming out was remarkably tough, and being honest I still struggle with feeling happy about my sexuality every single day. I’ve continued to struggle with my romantic identity (I really just don’t fucking know y’all). And many days my sexuality has exacerbated my anxiety, depression, and loneliness because I am so worried about being by myself for the rest of my life. But as with everything, I’m trying. I’m trying to love myself and find peace. I did go to my first (!) pride parade in October, walking with my local group of Warren supporters, and although I didn’t necessarily do anything to express in the parade that I was asexual (I just carried a small and simple rainbow pride flag), I felt so loved and welcomed on that afternoon. 

I also have to say (as I so often do) that I am also so incredibly grateful for my kitty. People who don’t have pets won’t understand, but she is truly the best thing about my life on a daily basis. Which isn’t to say I don’t love my friends or family, but my Scully kitty is who I come home to every single day. Who greets me with love and happy (or angry/hungry) meows every time she sees me. I don’t really care how dramatic it sounds, because I really do not know how I would have gotten through this year without her love.

...I don’t really know how to end this, because most of this has been “2019 really sucked, I’m struggling a lot, hello I’m your depressed friend” with a teensy bit of happiness mixed in. 

But I guess I hope that you had a good year. If you did not, I hope at least that this let you know you are not alone. And I hope for you, for me, and for all of us that the next year(s) bring some good. As much as I have struggled and cried and felt like all is lost, I’m not giving up hope on myself or the world. I have to believe that there is good out there. Even in what may feel like the darkest of times, a tomorrow will come. Do not give up hope on the world. Love yourself. Embrace yourself. And embrace the world. You are loved, you are worthy, and you are an essential part of this universe.

[crowdvscritic]

round up // FEBRUARY 20

On Wednesdays we wear pink, and in February, I stay inside and watch Turner Classic Movies because it’s too gosh-darn cold to do anything else. I watched almost as many movies as days in this month, largely thanks to TCM’s 31 Days of Oscar. A few things I learned:

As much as I enjoy a good TV binge, I enjoy the satisfaction of a movie's end more.

Thank goodness TCM shows good movies when the theatres seem barren of them.

If anyone says women’s complaints about their depiction in Hollywood are overblown, I’d challenge them to watch my month’s lineup. Most female characters were basically non-existent or defined as objects of desire no matter what decade the movies were from.

In February, I also watch the Academy Awards. Most of the movies here were nominated for Oscars, but I’m also recommending a few more pop culture picks (including TV, social media, a book, articles, and music) for the month.

February Crowd-Pleasers

The Imagineering Story (2019)

The Imagineering Story tells the story behind the creation of Disney theme parks, with the greatest highlight of showing you how attractions are designed. Is this shameless Disney marketing on the Disney+ streaming service? Yep, but it’s so well done that for a moment I forgot about their unsettling takeover of the entertainment industry and wanted to quit everything I was doing to go work for them.

This Knives Out Sequel Twitter Thread

The Internet can be a scary place, but this thread reminds us the fun things that can happen when tons of strangers come together. My recommendation was Knives Out: In 2 the Donut Hole, but that’s mostly because someone beat me to Knives Out 2: Adam Driver Is In It.

Classic Action Double Feature: The Magnificent Seven (1960) and The Dirty Dozen (1967)

Your girl loves star-studded team-ups, and it’s never better than when an action movie rounds up its squad of special skills. Also a Charles Bronson double feature! (Bonus: I recommend checking out the 2016 Magnificent Seven remake for a reevaluation of some of the elements that haven’t aged well in the original.)

Classic Comedy Double Feature: Moonstruck (1987) and Road to Morocco (1942)

Moonstruck is like My Big Fat Greek Wedding meets While You Were Sleeping, and Cher’s 1980s hair is a mood. (Arguably, so is Nicolas Cage’s chest hair.) Road to Morocco is like Airplane! meets Aladdin, and the silliness has hardly aged thanks to the talents of Bing Crosby and Bob Hope.

Joyful by Ingrid Fetell Lee

The science of joy? This non-fiction book is as fun a read as it should be! It’s not providing answers to deep questions of philosophy, but it’s about a philosophy that can bring life changes. I was amazed by stories of how bright colors, circular spaces, and Northern Lights can inspire joy no matter what your circumstances are. The only problem with this book is that you constantly want to Google every beautiful things she is describing—maybe we need a big coffee table book with photos as a second edition?

'90s Action Double Feature:Tremors (1990) and The Fugitive (1993)

You know a movie's good when you tense up even though you know what's coming. I'd caught bits and pieces of The Fugitive on TV, but this Harrison Ford/Tommy Lee Jones standoff still sucked me in when I watched it start-to-finish. Tremors is not a good movie—this is a movie so bad it’s great. If on some Friday night you need a big, dumb action movie with terrible dialogue, a monster created with dated special effects, and forgettable characters getting picked off one by one and coasts entirely on the charisma of Kevin Bacon and Reba McEntire (???), have I got the movie for you!

February Critic Picks

These Pieces on the Grammys Controversy

The New York Times and Variety wrote about why the firing of President/CEO Deborah Dugan and her subsequent lawsuit won’t be disappearing even though the Recording Academy is trying hard as heck to do that. As one too invested in how the arts are recognized and celebrated, I’m paying attention to what appears to be a scandal just waiting to be uncovered.

“Can the Grammys Be Trusted?” by Jon Caramanica (The New York Times)

“The Grammys May Be Over, but the Recording Academy Scandal Isn’t” by Jem Aswad (Variety)

Dark Passage (1947)

An exception to the trend of weak female roles in the films I watched this month. Lauren Bacall and Humphrey Bogart re-team for their third film (of four) together in this romantic film noir. Bogart plays a wrongfully accused escaped convict, and Bacall is the woman who helps him keep his cover. The unconventional first-person camera angles at the beginning will catch your attention, but their chemistry will keep you invested till the end.

The Oscars

The 2020 Oscars ceremony was one of the most bonkers ceremonies in recent memory. Bonkers is preferable to boring, and I love any night celebrating movies, so I have very few complaints about an evening spent with friends eating movie-themed snacks. (Anyone care for an Adam Screw-Driver?) My favorite moments came thanks to Bong Joon Ho, especially his wins for Best Original Screenplay and Best Director.

The French Dispatch Trailer (2020)

A star-studded team-up about Midwestern journalists from the aesthetically-pleasing mind of Wes Anderson? Take my money!

Classic War Comedy Double Feature: Life Is Beautiful (1997) and Dr. Strangelove (1964)

They were both nominated for Best Picture, and they both find humor in the darkest of war. In Life Is Beautiful (La Vita è Bella), a father transforms a Nazi concentration camp into a game to save his son’s innocence. In Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb, a bunch of incompetent leaders try to prevent nuclear war. Neither sounds funny, but they pull it off with delicate execution. (Bonus: Enjoy Robert Benigni winning an Oscar!)

The Slow Rush by Tame Impala

As my brother would say, this album slaps.

Leap Day Bonus

“What a Man Gotta Do” by the Jonas Brothers

My apologies to the Jo Bros for forgetting to include this in my January Round Up—this movie-inspired music video is a treat.

Also in February…

Yes, I love the Oscars, but considering how much viewership went down, it seems the Academy could do more to draw people in. One of my favorite film podcasts inspired me to brainstorm seven ways the Oscars could make the public care again in a piece for ZekeFilm.

The writers of ZekeFilm counted down our favorite films of 2019, most of which you can find on streaming now.

Kyla and I discussed a rock ‘n’ roll documentary and a camp classic on SO IT’S A SHOW? this month.

If you want to see the full list of movies I watched this month, you can find it on Letterboxd.

Photo credits: Grammys, Tame Impala. Joyful my own. All others IMDb.com.

[whatchudrinkin]

Staring into the Abyss

I graduated college and landed in the depths of the “Great Recession.” At twenty-two I found myself working a shitty part time job and with plenty of time on my hands. I listened to podcasts, sat around drinking too much coffee in overpriced coffee houses, and looking for something to do. I ended up spending a lot of time in the Central Library looking for something to occupy my anxious brain. Literature was out; I’d had enough of that in school. The news was depressing. And there were only so many Mary Roach books. So I started reading about beer.

At the time, Sarah and I were living in a severely sloping fourth floor, walk up apartment a block off West Burnside. Our living room windows looked down on the parking lot of a sports bar famous for cheap gyros. Sarah was working twelve hour shifts back then, so I’d often not see here till eight or nine at night. I started this blog to fill my time. I started capturing every beer I drank along with a few witty descriptors, and I read some more. I read Michael Jackson. I searched out his “world classics.” I perused the Oxford Companion and tried to use words like diacetyl and acetic acid in my posts.

Before I found Michael Jackson and Stan Hieronymus writing about brewing monks, before poring over the Oxford Companion to Beer and trying use diacetyl and brettanomyces is in casual conversation, I read was The Naked Pint. 

The Naked Pint was written by a pair of knowledgeable ladies, Christina Perozzi and Hallie Beaune. It’s an introduction to beer and brewing and introduced me to the idea of beer styles. They described everything from Pale Ale to Saison and gave a few examples with tasting notes. Most of the beers they described were brewed in exotic locales like Bavaria or Flanders or San Diego. I scoured their recommendations for something closer to home. And there, among the top Imperial Stouts from around the world, was the Abyss from Oregon’s own Deschutes Brewery.

The descriptions sounded so delicious, the adjuncts so unusual. Cherry bark, blackstrap molasses, licorice, vanilla, and some of the beer was even aged in wine and bourbon barrels? Wow. Black Butte Porter may have been Deschutes’ flagship, but The Abyss was their calling card for the hardcore. It was rare; it was critically acclaimed; it was expensive. When I finally saw I bottle at the grocery store, I balked at the price. Seventeen dollars for a single bottle of beer? I could get two six-packs of Black Butte for that price (2011 was a magical time).

Our ramshackle apartment was less than a mile from Deschutes’ Portland brewpub. The brewery’s log cabin aesthetic stood out in the condo-filled restaurant-rich Pearl District. It was big, but cozy. We weren’t exactly regulars, a broke twenty-two year old can only afford so many fifteen dollar burgers, but when parents were in town, or a birthday needed celebrating, it was fun to visit Deschutes and sample some new beers.

It was at the Deschutes Pub that I bought my first bottle of the Abyss. It was spring, well past the official November release, but someone at the pub found a few extra cases in storage. I rushed down and bought a bottle. Every bottle from Deschutes’ Reserve Series is labeled best after, not best before. It’s a subtle way of encouraging people to stock up. That’s exactly what I did,  figuring I could open it and have my own vertical tasting. I didn’t open that first bottle for three years, and it was great. When the 2012 release party rolled around the next fall, I was there. 

While it didn’t necessitate blocks long queues, the Abyss release was always a big event at Deschutes. The pub was packed with nerds taking copious notes. I had my own little notebook, and a vertical flight of five samples. They ranged from bold and boozy, to mellow and fruity, with notes of tobacco and leather. I even picked up a hint of balsamic vinegar in the oldest vintage. I walked home with three more wax dipped bottles.

Last week, I finally opened the last of those bottles. It’s been a solid six years since it was released. After all that time in my closet, the beer has changed. What used to come off as dark roast coffee now tastes like the crust that forms on the bottom of the oven. There’s no barrel character to speak of, but that’s not surprising. It’s incredibly drying on the tongue. There’s none of the richness I’ve come to expect in an imperial stout.

Even more than the beer has changed, the world of beer has transformed in the last six years. The Abyss was one of the original barrel aged imperial stouts, but it’s been eclipsed. In 2012, less than a quarter of the beer was actually aged in barrels. Last year’s release was only fifty percent aged in barrels. These days, a barrel aged beer is a barrel aged beer -- all the beer is literally aged in barrels.

Deschutes have tried to follow the Bourbon County model, releasing variant bottles like holofoil Pokemon cards. Cognac Abyss, Tequila Abyss, Scotch Abyss -- but the novelty doesn’t justify the significant upcharge. There are so many good beers out there, for far less money. But what is a brewery to do? A beer that was edgy ten years ago seems dated now. The only way to keep the brand vibrant is to mix it up.

Personally, I haven’t purchased a bottle of the Abyss in three or four years. I can still walk into the grocery store down the street and find a bottle of the Abyss from 2018, and it will probably be very good, but it won’t have the same effect it did when the options were fewer and the beer was rarer.

So The Abyss remains a relic of an earlier age, a precursor of the beers to come. Then, the addition of cherry bark and vanilla added a new layer of interest. Now, pastry stouts made to taste exactly like the adjuncts used to brew them. Then, aging a beer in whiskey casks was innovative, and dangerous. Now a barrel aged beer is commonplace and have the kiss of bourbon in every sip. The Abyss was unimaginable in 2006; it was a revelation in 2012; But today, it’s just... meh.

[velvetrouge]

I have recently started learning mandarin by myself since my school doesn’t offer any classes, I was wondering if you have any tips for studying or websites that I could use?

Hi there, sorry I took so long to answer this because this answer took me a really long time to compile 😂 First of all, great to know you are learning Chinese! Actually Mandarin is just a spoken form of Chinese, but I assume you are planning to learn how to read and write Chinese as well :D I’ve received quite a few questions about learning Chinese ever since I started this blog, so I thought I should write a detailed answer about this. 

LONG ANSWER AHEAD

Before you start, do note there are actually two sets of (overlapping) Chinese characters out there, 

1. Traditional Chinese characters (used in Taiwan and Hong Kong)  

2. Simplified Chinese characters (used in Mainland China, Singapore and Malaysia). 

I’m from Singapore so I learned simplified Chinese, I can generally read traditional Chinese as well though I have great difficulty writing them because I’m too used to simplified characters 😂😂 You don’t have to learn both, but it’s good to know the difference since you will probably encounter both types of characters at some point when you are studying Chinese/ consuming Chinese entertainment.

I definitely recommend learning Hanyu pinyin to help with the pronunciation of the words, but do note that pinyin is neither the Chinese alphabet nor meant to be a substitute for Chinese characters. There is no alphabet for Chinese… we do have Chinese radicals (further explained here) which is not really an alphabet but more like components of a character 🤔 For the most part, to learn Chinese characters you have to memorise them. Maybe you can set yourself a goal of memorising a few characters a day to kickstart the process, actually if possible I would recommend getting a Chinese copy book/app like this one: 

Writing the characters over and over is the best way to remember the words imo, also this will help you practise your handwriting! 

A good dictionary is a must, for Chinese-English dictionaries the best one I have tried so far is the app Pleco. I used to have this book of 成语 (Chinese idioms) and 俗语 (Chinese sayings) as well that I had to memorise for school, but I think you can just learn them online (found some here) if you want :D You should probably wait till your Chinese reaches intermediate~advanced level before starting on those though, if not the whole thing might be kind of confusing. 

For websites, I have never tried learning Chinese online before so I don’t have first-hand experience of any of the online Chinese learning sites, but I did find this list of online resources for learning Chinese which is really comprehensive. it covers sites and apps for everything from reading and writing Chinese characters to all types of podcasts. Actually you know what, there are more resources available online than I thought, there are even apps for you to connect to native Chinese speakers (I didn’t even know those existed until I wrote this answer) 👀 That list of sites and apps pretty much covers every aspect of learning Chinese so I don’t have much else to add tbh 😂😂 Just gonna recommend some entertainment options that will hopefully make your learning process more enjoyable! 

(Below are mostly my personal song/ show/ manhua recommendations)

For songs there are really way too many so it’s kind of hard to draw up a list, maybe you can start with the songs of some of the more famous artistes like Jay Chou, A-mei, Eason Chan, Faye Wong, Mayday, Stefani Sun, Jam Hsiao… You can search for Mandopop playlists on Spotify for a start! I’m personally quite fond of 逃跑计划, Lala Hsu and 陈粒’s songs.

Also randomly recommending 夜空中最亮的星 and 平凡之路 because they are my favourite songs (夜空中最亮的星 almost made me cry the first time I heard it, even now after listening to it for so many times it still gives me the same feeling 👵🏻).

For dramas my favourite drama by far is Nirvana in Fire (琅琊榜), which imo is the best drama I’ve ever watched. My sister and I were obsessed with this show and recommended it to all our friends, it was so good!!

(side note I think Hu Ge’s face is especially suited for historical dramas)

Some other dramas I liked were Ode to Joy, The Fierce wife (Taiwanese) and The Legend of Zhen Huan, Nirvana in Fire Season 2 was also just released this year! My friend recommends Tens Miles of Peach Blossoms which she said made her cry a lot, and I think Yang Mi’s latest drama The Negotiator is quite popular too though I haven’t watched it yet. I actually don’t have a lot of dramas to recommend because I don’t really watch them 😂😂 But coming from someone who don’t particularly like watching dramas, Nirvana in Fire is really so freaking good…

Anyway besides songs and dramas, my other recommendations are 1) Web novels and 2) Manhua.

I highly recommend reading web novels (I mostly read on them on qidian), the Chinese web novel community is seriously gigantic and I’ve honestly only explored a very very very tiny fraction of their offerings because there are so many popular web novels out there. Btw even if you can’t read Chinese there are English sites (webnovel l wuxiaworld) where you can read the Chinese web novels translated into English for free, so you can enjoy them regardless of your Chinese abilities :D One well-known novel on both the English and Chinese site is The King’s Avatar (全职高手), which was made into a gorgeous Chinese anime last year

First episode here!

Btw if you download the qidian app they have this audio book function that I thought was pretty handy, you can listen to your favourite novels being read to you ->

(Click 听书 and it will lead to the audio)

(One of my favourite novels 惊悚乐园／Thriller Paradise!)

For manhua I mostly read my manhua on kuaikanmanhua, 腾讯动漫 and occasionally dongmanmanhua. I made a short list of BL recommendations previously here, some other non-BL manhua I’m currently following are:

DOLO命运胶囊 (the art for this series is really beautiful) 

女王的手术刀

哥哥是大笨蛋

看脸时代 (This one is Korean and really popular, it’s translated into English as well under the title Lookism but personally I prefer the Chinese translation) 

A friend of mine recommended Duoluo Dalu (novel here) and Battle Through The Heavens (novel here) which I haven’t read yet, but if I’m not wrong both series are popular 👀   

That’s all I can think of for now! Kind of off topic but from the perspective of an overseas Chinese I think Mainland Chinese entertainment have improved a lot in recent years. When I was young I could only remember a few shows from China like 还珠格格, Journey to the West, and Return of the Condor Heroes, and my own childhood was dominated by Japanese manga and Taiwanese Mandopop/ idol dramas (that’s how I learned to read traditional Chinese lol). But now there is an increasing number of quality productions from China, which is great for someone like me who is fond of Chinese entertainment (sadly Singapore’s Chinese entertainment scene is pretty lacking and Hong Kong and Taiwan’s entertainment industry have been declining, Singapore is currently pretty much dominated by Kpop and K-dramas). Hopefully Chinese entertainment will continue to get better and better in the near future ^^

In any case this list is non-exhaustive, but my answer is getting way too long so I’ll just stop here. I’ll add any future recommendations under the recs tag, hope this helps!