#thus is the nature of daily art though i guess

[zelda-daily]

Day 81: Modern OOT part 2

[meetsthebones]

“I discovered that if I were going to review books I should need to do battle with a certain phantom. And the phantom was a woman, and when I came to know her better I called her after the heroine of a famous poem, The Angel in the House. It was she who used to come between me and my paper when I was writing reviews. It was she who bothered me and wasted my time and so tormented me that at last I killed her. You who come of a younger and happier generation may not have heard of her--you may not know what I mean by the Angel in the House. I will describe her as shortly as I can. She was intensely sympathetic. She was immensely charming. She was utterly unselfish. She excelled in the difficult arts of family life. She sacrificed herself daily. If there was chicken, she took the leg; if there was a draught she sat in it -- in short she was so constituted that she never had a mind or a wish of her own, but preferred to sympathize always with the minds and wishes of others. Above all -- I need not say it -- she was pure. Her purity was supposed to be her chief beauty--her blushes, her great grace. In those days -- the last of Queen Victoria -- every house had its Angel. And when I came to write I encountered her with the very first words. The shadow of her wings fell on my page; I heard the rustling of her skirts in the room. Directly, that is to say, I took my pen in my hand to review that novel by a famous man, she slipped behind me and whispered: "My dear, you are a young woman. You are writing about a book that has been written by a man. Be sympathetic; be tender; flatter; deceive; use all the arts and wiles of our sex. Never let anybody guess that you have a mind of your own. Above all, be pure." And she made as if to guide my pen. I now record the one act for which I take some credit to myself, though the credit rightly belongs to some excellent ancestors of mine who left me a certain sum of money -- shall we say five hundred pounds a year? -- so that it was not necessary for me to depend solely on charm for my living. I turned upon her and caught her by the throat. I did my best to kill her. My excuse, if I were to be had up in a court of law, would be that I acted in self-defense. Had I not killed her she would have killed me. She would have plucked the heart out of my writing. For, as I found, directly I put pen to paper, you cannot review even a novel without having a mind of your own, without expressing what you think to be the truth about human relations, morality, sex. And all these questions, according to the Angel of the House, cannot be dealt with freely and openly by women; they must charm, they must conciliate, they must -- to put it bluntly -- tell lies if they are to succeed. Thus, whenever I felt the shadow of her wing or the radiance of her halo upon my page, I took up the inkpot and flung it at her. She died hard. Her fictitious nature was of great assistance to her. It is far harder to kill a phantom than a reality. She was always creeping back when I thought I had despatched her. Though I flatter myself that I killed her in the end, the struggle was severe; it took much time that had better have been spent upon learning Greek grammar; or in roaming the world in search of adventures. But it was a real experience; it was an experience that was bound to befall all women writers at that time. Killing the Angel in the House was part of the occupation of a woman writer.”

excerpt from “professions for women” by virginia woolf

[libidomechanica]

Untitled (“Poor think its youth grows erected look,”)

A curtal sonnet sequence

               First Part

From his Finger face from coste to keepe vs wake, and you blind yours and No, into roses gave up her let it bettering; the man into necessity. Poor think it’s youth grows erected look, He did lovely know the silver drips shall I blessed the brakes, and no blush, and the whole in the score, were fall sounds they neither that he may run. With a third is little sport himself, who grew less delicious seem love that elder lovers.

               Second Part

Have him with them free, and laws to me, whose session! March; a great examples daily shillingly, my child. On thy memory stars. My selfe the head, when she discount, small his beauty forever—and disarray less be, looking foremost interpos’d of gentlemen; also the same still either we brave him, as I sat, over unaware, behold thee her lap doth his feather’d hand, or hid delights their thou come away dyd wype.

               Third Part

Ye this, fainting sun of her dearest of dread of thee—I am so confest that is she fleet, and that time the churches of light, of hand, am I notices, Darlings singing coiled atop the crown’d with eyes sustain immediately deign’d to purge from a silken sails that the last and tingle, sunning town, ’ so Cowper say, how that cheek, in fashionable hurt did ring together! May be done, I’ll sing, for his could be away!

               Fourth Part

From them say more rustling to recedence of life ends possest, but she said: Poor lady, how thou canst read, heart-treachery! On Cupid’s bow, and gaze where, that taste—indeed’s the rest may win perhaps a youth untimely warning can as human nature’s crown, and thee taper silvery waves real epic poesy! Do though dull were none but fight, Woo’d and swordsman, when she four Miss Rawbolds in blood announce, was there mine own depths of graces.

               Fifth Part

Besides his heart breaking badly spent. As to spy or seven! Say, is that made of mysteries; nor shalt thou kenn’st from the true I haue spell. The bright and a shades, and for that I was small is then the worst which pen express groveling down her with oath and meant thee will breath most forlorn’ of hopes’ too much, is this young Bacchus! For which their brutal scorn of heaven of late, by natural hue of her Eye. When comeliness; ’ an art of man.

               Sixth Part

Sister, we heart believing at whose who art dear, let us pay, Must we by a shade pass’d by the world wide, and fair maids shut out for me, thou kenn’st from the pieties of all. Now posting through these cross bronze and plundered and play: dissolve, and a’! She moan all Remember. And the most lately managed to be done such the fields, or taffeta, which though the spade. And multitudes she wild as above, and listen; and in wondrous sea?

               Seventh Part

That odd impulse all the restored; as time. That college has every motion; she wash’d black ink my love with little token, say, will beleeue me. In proportioned tide the distress? Virtues know, a hell is the next she plants and eat my doors for us, bridge, pheasantly gentlemen got up betimes would not Cervantes smile so sweet did for ever a potatoes she is wings were gene: ’ the world with dew at ooze of am the rest.

               Eighth Part

That venerable gazing once to Semele such be woo’d and Master of crime: o, let it be safe in her grave, myself comprised the small leaned again. And what he can soldiers, whose some kind lady, said did move to be envious moods of bitter love those two, now besides in the Nile’s sun, and the pediments, and better take it; and say his fierce loue and some time what it may thy flowers, eyes could at the argument all!

               Ninth Part

From constella, loadstar of piano? It hangs still, white Chastisement, new; you when birds and Washington at Waterloo was best works of birds single laugh’d nor can paradise; and a dozen, alas! Below me, than thus? And thus is a life. Let not as breathed their love themselues will beautie is; blest Charis, guess, and Debt, and blind my best fire. Your faces in force could have plundered from the harvest. And monitor me afeard.

               Tenth Part

Fair Melodies and its sought of all there it came at what is parent, pale, yet bubbling wynde, so animated nature’s rais’d, right. Spread around by the ditch, haunted scarce, yet I see numberless fate hear you are deadly blasted store for to recommence not thilke same welcome inmate there she had set together! She sat in front of sunset halos o’er the five-bar gates, disdainful the key. For on my pillow’d in the waves roar.

               Eleventh Part

And by light, in that serene father souls confide, to catch tick is stable, sparks, my Love’s breast, like eyes could crack where ages and catch tick is stretching weares by being farmers, while thou not wit nor such as more wretch as an even to untie every part. While Cupids might throne, but in his globe then and the tomb shall his manners may deeme, and I defaced unto the pas—the great and clear, no less massy of idle cigarette.

               Twelfth Part

At whose most articles are blessed with horrid war-whoop and shudder, long star, that spite; and, gentle squeeze, warm and wett your hand, and called my imagine, past all things deem’d too supplied, but crowns of our wind, and gory cheeks, or blunder what scorners of musk and rue, and mark; that dissipated nature’s warm caves in au’ and tween himself alone. Soon as it an earth divine: or foul hypocrisy for aye his wrath been remove the ton.

               Thirteenth Part

—Like tempest inquiry, tell you have I behold her Son in my een wanton toyes, my wits stranger, or corners of the water, so by thing beneath wholly to this seen beyond then let go. Caesar him from my eyes seen to turn Romeo boot, at their swift foot were. Two roads they did not cruell might for gore and me. What if he doth sweets, why men brede; made in so short hours my lot, far-off from the coil of the temple prosper well.

[tsundere-mitsuhide]

Hogwarts Students HCs

Also posted on AO3. I once had this planned as an AU, but I recently realized the worldbuilding works a lot better as headcanons. Ive sat on these for a long, long time because of the discourse with She Who Shall Not Be Named. I do not mean to bring up painful memories for anyone, I just wanted to have some fun in a world Ive enjoyed over the years.

Nobunaga - Ravenclaw

Nobunaga is always interested in learning of technology, information, and ways of life beyond the island of Japan. He wants to know as much as he can from the Potuguese traders. While Nobunaga could also be a Slytherin for his desire to dominate Japan, in a world where magic exists and he is not fighting the wars of the Sengoku, I think he would be more interested in learning than in fighting. Therefore, I have put him in Ravenclaw.

Hideyoshi - Gryffindor

Gryffindor is a simple choice for Hideyoshi. Always upright, just, loyal, and self-sacrificing, he is a classic fit. And he’s the most likely to have a grudge against Slytherin's methods.

Masamune - Gryffindor

I put Masamune in Gryffindor because of his headstrong, charge-first-ask-questions-later attitude. I think it's a very Gryffindor trait. Out of the warlords in Gryffindor, I think he’d be the most likely to have a bunch of Slytherin friends; he doesn’t judge on house but on ability, and Slytherin are certainly a capable lot. He often ends up the victim of Hideyoshi’s chastisement over his choice of friends.

Ieyasu - Slytherin

Ieyasu’s motivations in his own route focus on power. He has been powerless in the past, as a hostage of the Imagawa. And he never wants to be in that place again. He wants to prove his ability, and be stronger than those who have oppressed him; never again to be the victim. For this reason, I think he’s a Slytherin, as opposed to a Hufflepuff. Who's to say you have to be a Hufflepuff to like plants and healing?

Mitsunari - Ravenclaw

This one was easy, as we all know Mitsunari’s propensity to get lost in a sea of books. I like to think that he reads so often that he entirely forgets to attend class. The professors have tried to have him reprimanded for this but as he always knows so much more than the other students, Mitsunari manages to get away with his behavior.

Mitsuhide - Slytherin

Sneaky. Slippery. Secretive. These are all things that describe Mitsuhide and Slytherins. He respects the order of Slytherins, but also fights it. He occupies the darkness, the space behind everyone’s backs, never admitting what he is really up to. He embraces this dismal role to protect those outside of its clutches, much like other well-known Slytherins have done--or more appropriately, have been forced to choose. I think Mitsuhide would be mighty good at potions, as well as a skilled duelist.

Kenshin - Gryffindor

Kenshin is noble, honorable, and will stand by what he believes is right regardless of what other people try to convince him to do. Both Slytherin and Gryffindor like a good fight, but because of Kenshin’s upstanding values in a fair fight, he wouldn’t play dirty the way a Slytherin would. Thus I think he’d be one of the few Gryffindor’s who actually followed the rules, haha.

Shingen - Gryffindor / Ravenclaw

Shingen… this one is one of the hardest to pin down for me. I think he has traits of a Gryffindor in the loyalty to his land and to his people. But also traits of Ravenclaw in his tangled web of information which he manipulates like a well-trained puppetmaster. I guess that gives him a little bit of Slytherin aspects too. Though I don't think Slytherin would be a good fit for him though, as he desires power not for himself but for the people. Therefore I’m going to say he leans a bit more Gryffindor than Ravenclaw, but he could really be either.

Yukimura - Gryffindor

I imagine Yukimura is the Quidditch captain of Gryffindor. He already wears red, so its not that much of a change for him. He’s active and sporty, but yet respects the rules and the right thing to do. Most of the time. We won't talk about that one time out in the woods, he’s not proud of it either. Overall, like Hideyoshi, I think Yukimura is a pretty classic Gryffindor.

Sasuke -Ravenclaw

How could our astrophysicist ninja be anything but a Ravenclaw? The amount of learning, innovation, creativity, and tenacity it takes to track wormholes without the equipment and technology of the modern day is astounding. Let alone the sheer amount of math.

Kennyo - Hufflepuff

Kennyo is a big, softie and you can't change my mind. He loves all the things Hufflepuff stands for: hard work, nature, animals, kindness, etc. Kennyo won't hurt a fly if given a chance, and nor would a proper Hufflepuff. He embraces the common man, and rejects the racism of Slytherin, the elitism of Ravenclaw, as well as the arrogance of Gryffindor. Kennyo is the epitome of a Hufflepuff.

Ranmaru - Hufflepuff / Slytherin

Ranmaru is a strange one to place because he is a ninja of many secrets, loyal to opposing sides and stuck in the middle. I think he wants to be free of the tight-rope he walks daily, and if he is, he would likely embrace the philosophy of Hufflepuff in order to keep other people from being stuck in the same painful position he had been in. I also think he would make a damn good Slytherin.

Yoshimoto - Ravenclaw

Yoshimoto is interesting because his love of the aesthetic and art would seem to place him in Ravenclaw. And yet his desire to do nothing, to live out the remainder of his days in quiet obsolescence, can also be very Hufflepuff. They’ve cornered the market on cottage-core, after all. He desires to be left alone to admire the things he finds beautiful. I picture him kinda like the curator of a small, private museum. Ths collection of things are the beauties that give his life meaning, and it doesn’t matter if it's just a strange mushroom. He doesn't want to be bothered by anything else. He’s a rather eccentric Ravenclaw, who can be found admiring unnoticed artifacts in the castle instead of attending class. He’d get more detentions, but too many people are so entranced by his own beauty that they forget what they were upset with him about. He’s quite proud of how proficient he is with that charm.

Motonari - Slytherin

Motonari was almost a Gryffindor for his utter disregard for the rules. But I think his “watch the world burn” mentality fits into Slytherin more. Slytherin likes order to Motonari’s chaos, but I think it's the place that is most conducive to his out-for-no-one-but-myself attitude. I imagine that he’d be on good terms with the Bloody Baron, and there are stories after he graduates akin to the horror stories told at teenage sleepovers created about Motonari’s school years.

[neocatharsis]

The Brilliant Members of World Renowned NCT 127 Share Their Thoughts Fashion, Music, Lifestyle, Favorite Things… What Their Individual Styles Are　#009 MARK

Some Excerpts

To know the world, to be a writer. What are your thoughts on that?

MN: Now then, after thoroughly reading your questionnaire, how to put this, it’s not that often that you see so many amazing responses in one place that happen to be philosophical in nature. That’s how amazing we thought your responses were, MARK-san.

M: Woh~!!

MN: For the question, “If you were to introduce yourself to the readers of MEN’S NON-NO as if you were doing so to someone you just met for the first time, what would that be?”, you answered, “I’m a young man who is still learning about the world”. How concise yet such lovely words. Please tell us in what way you are coming face-to-face with the world right now.

M: Wow, thank you very much. I often feel how scary it is the way time just flies by. Like time is flashing by in an instant. However, I feel that the “youth” of each person is exactly when that person feels like “it is right now”. Of course, it depends on the person, but I think that there is a sense of youth that I can feel at any given time, whether I’m in my 30’s or my 40’s, and I think that will change depending on how I feel and how I perceive it. What I can say now is that somewhere inside, I feel like, “I still have yet to know the world”. That’s why I always feel that I’m in still the process of learning more about the world, and that I have a lot of new things to learn with so many different aspects. There is so much wisdom, information, and knowledge in this world, and it’s as if I’m digesting these things one by one within my mind without rushing the process, and I’m shaping my identity by selecting what I need. I feel like I’m amidst this process.

MN: It feels like facing the vastness of the outside world is also connected to facing yourself. Also, to the question, “What is your source of inspiration for creative work?”, you wrote, “EVERYTHING”.

M: That’s true. I’m currently trying to understand so many things and ingest them within myself. So, well, I guess I’m in the middle of my lessons.

MN: You talked about how you perceive the world, but the concept of the group is exactly “TO THE WORLD”. For the question, “What is important to you in expressing yourself and conveying your style as a global artist?”, you wrote, “I believe that we should know ourselves and be honest with ourselves”. To the world, to know yourself. It seems that “to know” is important you.

M: With regard my policy of being honest with myself in order to know myself, I believe it is necessary with all aspects. For example, as an artist, “I wasn’t honest with my previous performance, but this time I am”, just doesn’t cut it. After all, I think that in order to absorb various things, you should always be honest with your feelings and with yourself. Inspiration often comes from the outside, but I think it’s important to think about how you interpret it, what types of emotions you are willing to accept, and how you are going to express them. I feel like I’m always trying to figure out how I interpret a song and its concept with honesty, and then how I’m going to perform that song. I think the other members are the same, but TAEYONG-san, who also writes lyrics as I do, likely has many opportunities to feel the same way when writing poetry.

MN: Since you brought up writing lyrics, I’d like to ask you a couple of things accordingly. To the actual question, “What dream would you like to achieve in your life other than music?”, you responded, “To write literary work”. We can tell that you like to write from the questionnaire that was jam-packed with words, but please tell us what is important to you when putting your feelings into words, and if there is anything you would challenge yourself to try.

M: Let’s see… Though I mention writing, it’s mostly lyrics these days. However, in order to complete those lyrics, I need to keep writing down my ideas. Those ideas become the source of everything I write and I start from there. Each letter/character and sentence always are the basis of my lyrics and other works, and I think that they contain my various viewpoints as well as perspectives. I also try to express these different viewpoints and perspectives in words.

MN: That’s a vital essence on how to create works of art.

M：For example, even if the theme is the same, the interpretation will change depending on how you look at things, or rather, your point of view, and I think this will appeal differently to people. So, the lyrics then are taken further as they fit the music. Thus, the way it is conveyed will then change depending on the beat and sounds. I rather enjoy that part of it. As far as things “I would like to challenge myself to” in the future… Of course, right now, I think that writing lyrics is already a good way for me to express myself in terms of writing itself, and it’s very gratifying as well, but… If in the future, really further into the future, that is, once I have achieved a lot of experience, it would be wonderful if I could publish a book.

MN: Wow! We look forward to that!

M: My original dream was to become an author! And I am really satisfied that I am able to write lyrics and sing those lyrics, but it would be something if I could publish a book someday when I’m older….

MN: As a young man still in the process of learning about the world, we hope for the day when you, MARK-san, have seen and listened to more things, will be able to share your experiences with us.

M: One day, eventually. Whether it be a novel, or some kind of autobiography, or even something that’s philosophical…or something that represents my thoughts… As of now, it is all up in the air, but I do hope to be able to write a book of that sort one day.

MN: So, your passion for writing something is being devoted to the creation of lyrics.

M: Well, to be honest, I don’t’ really think I’ve been able to express myself fully yet. As I mentioned earlier, I’m still in the process of learning and absorbing various things, and in many ways, I feel my writing skills are still in its infancy as well. However, the important thing to remember is that it’s often not until you write down what you’re thinking about that you realize what it is that you were thinking about. When I write, a lot of things come to mind, and they then naturally becomes letters/characters and then sentences. So, I didn’t notice it before I began writing, but as I continued to write, I realized, “Oh, I had this idea in me” and “I had that idea in me”. The thoughts and feelings that were hiding within began coming to light. Right now, I find that process very stimulating”

MN： And what we hear is what has been output from that process.

M: I guess that’s how it works. And there’s one thing I know without a doubt. I am currently trying to express myself on a daily basis while feeling how “interesting” everything is. Besides, I think that if you don’t have fun yourself while experiencing all these different things, it simply won’t be able to write and express yourself well. That’s why I feel that, in addition to “writing”, it’s important for me to experience more interesting and different things.

MN: Well put. We will introduce the songs written by you, MARK-san, and TAEYONG-san, who came up earlier, at the end of this topic.

What kind of place is NCT 127 for MARK?

MN: We would like to ask what NCT 127 means to you, MARK-san?

M: Yes, certainly!

MN: There was one thing that was deeply impressive and we’d like to share that with the readers first. Two years ago, YUTA-san gave his first solo interview with MEN’S NON-NO and that article became a record-breaking hit. After it posted, when we told him about it at the Saitama Super Arena concert (NCT 127 1st Tour ‘NEO CITY:JAPAN‐The Origin’), you were next to him and we were surprised that you jumped up before him. We felt your deep affection for the other members.

M: Ahh~, thank you for looking over me with such warmth!

MN: We can’t forget how you shook YUTA-san’s shoulders and said, “You did it!”, while YUTA-san was still in shock, saying, “What? Really?” (laughter). All the staff members were talking about how “MARK’s response was the fastest~!”

M: Haha! First off, I mean, YUTA-san is just so adorable. I really do love him. It is of course important to be happy when someone important to you has had something good happen to him, and I’m sure YUTA-san would do the same for me. So, right now in that way, for me, the members mean a lot to me and I want everyone to be happy, and to be really happy all the time.

MN: It shows how you care about one another.

M: Since we are friends who have truly shared various things together and have experienced both joy as well as hardship, we’re so close that we can almost always tell what each other is thinking about. I think that it is more comfortable for each and every one of us to be each other than to be with anybody else, which I’m sure is the same for everybody else.

MN: In contrast, to the question, “What is behind the coolness of NCT 127?”, you responded, “I find it cool to be able to accomplish something difficult, so I think it is cool how I challenge myself and my team challenges itself in order to do so!”

M: We as NCT 127 are an ambitious group. We strive to pursue that ambition and are constantly trying to upgrade our own capabilities. I think these activities have made me a smarter person, and when they look at one another, I feel that we as an entire group are becoming more mature and blossoming through that effort. NCT 127 has really become an indispensable part of my life now. It’s a place in which I am able to grow and where happiness exists.

What are your thoughts about communication?

MN: To the question, “Please list three things that make up who you are, MARK-san”, you wrote, “Family, members, fans”. It appears you’re all about “people”, MARK-san. Due to the impact of the coronavirus pandemic, it is becoming increasingly difficult to see our loved ones. With group activities, not being able to do offline concerts or events. Under these circumstances, what do you find is important, MARK-san, when it comes to connecting with your family, members, and fans?

M: I find it truly “unfortunate and sad” that we are unable to do our regular activities and unable to see each other. But since there’s really nothing we can do about this situation, I think we have to accept it. On the other hand, in times like these, I think it’s really important to “communicate” with your loved ones and to find a way to communicate with them. For example, even between husband and wife, it is often said that it is not good to rely too much on “knowing without saying”. I mean, I’ve heard that there are some things that you simply can’t know unless you put them into words… Although, I don’t know about that kind of thing yet (LOL)

MN: Yes, we hear that a lot (LOL).

M: Even I used to nebulously think that my fans likely knew how much I wanted to see them and that I miss them when I can’t see them. However, I have come to realize that it is definitely necessary for people to communicate with each other and to properly express their feelings. I feel more aware of the importance of expressing my feelings in words without assuming that they will understand. With this in mind, I’ve been trying to express my feelings in words through SNS and online content as much as possible, so that my fans can think, “Oh, I’m so glad I waited for you.” I’d like to communicate with my fans through the use of my own words, so that I can stay connected and in a good relationship with all my fans for a long time to come.

MN: Your feeling are already clearly conveyed in those words.

M: If that’s the case, I am happy!

MN: The questionnaire we received back from you was positive overall, and full of strong willed words, but there was one particular answer that was really striking. It was the answer you wrote, “I would like others to see me as a happy person, but in fact, I have a lot of things to worry about.” to the question, “What kind of gap is there between the real you and how you want to be seen by others?” To the question, “What would you like to overcome?”, you responded, “Worrying too much about unnecessary things.” Of course, nobody is fine all the time, but you have an image of being cheerful and energetic, MARK-san. So, the question is, how do you fill in the gaps when it comes to that?

M: Ugh~. That’s partly due to my personality. When I meet people, when I come face-to-face with them, whether it’s the fans or people who are normally around me, I don’t like to show them that I’m not doing well because I’ve had a bad day, for example. I mean, I don’t think it’s in my nature to show my negative side. The reason is that there is nothing wrong with the other person. So, to express the problem I’m having in front of that person is… well, I think it’s just wrong. That’s why I always want to bring as much positive energy as possible to the person in front of me, and to be in a cheerful state.

MN: It’s common to take your anger out on others when you are in a bad mood, but you are making an effort to control yourself there! With regard to, “a memorable piece of advice you received from somebody”, you responded, “TREAT OTHERS THE WAY YOU WISH TO BE TREATED.” There feels like a connection here.

M: Yes, there is. In particular, for my fans, I want to show a good image of myself. They always support us, and even for our concerts and events, they often come from afar to meet us. Why would we want to take the trouble to show our negative side under those circumstances? If we did, we would wind up in regret after getting off the stage. That’s why I always want to deliver energy to my fans, and even if I do have worries or concerns, I do what I can to not to show them. There’s always another place where I can release it. So, if I’m in a bad state, I tend to shift my emotions. I try to eliminate my worries and concerns as much as possible, but if I find it difficult or impossible to do, I think it’s something that should be resolved by talking to the members of the group, talking to my family, or talking to the people around me.

© https://mensnonno.jp/post/58067/

[bruh-haikyuu]

A/N: Iwaizumi domestic AU!! I am here to quench your Iwaizumi Hajime father-of-three thirsts.

On another note: Haikyuu manga ends today :(( Guess who’s gonna fucking DIE. Anyways, this manga has left so much of an impact to me, I feel like it’s already imprinted in my heart. Thank you so much to Furudate for making such a wonderful story, and may their stories flourish! I’ll still make content though, I’m really waiting on that new light novel and the second cour of the anime pspsspsps 👁👁

ménage. | iwaizumi hajime episode 1 – haimish.

summary: in which your oldest son is about to begin elementary school, but your husband misplaces the documents while in a frenzy.

word count: 2215

warnings: manga spoilers!!

(adj.) homey; cozy and unpretentious

At seven and four, Kazuki and Isao were at the age where they couldn’t keep their messy doodles confined into the sketchbooks you’d bought for them.

The first victim to their mischief was the wall in the kitchen beside the door leading to your backyard. It was a small parade of animals, with streamers and party hats. Tiger-san with his jagged crown, the dainty family of rabbits, and the hefty Bear-san (“No, Mommy! That’s Cat-san!” your second oldest had huffed indignantly at the clutter of crayon circles) who was at the very front of the entire crew. Your boys were lucky enough that it had been you who’d walked into their little streak of artistry. An understanding glance had been enough, seeing that you probably weren’t so different back then. You’d clean it up with a secret trick your mother had taught you and everything in the Iwaizumi household was back in business. Easy-peasy.

But had it been Hajime who’d encountered their mess... let’s just say you wouldn’t hear the end of the boys’ shrill wails until the next week.

Unfortunately for you and your trusty washcloth, Kazuki and Isao’s artistic escapades didn’t stop at the kitchen wall. Next, it was the floors, the windows of the entrance and even on the door to your bedroom (with a side of elephant stickers that you’d admit were pretty cute). Thus, it didn’t take very long for your husband to finally be faced by their “little” temperament. And not very long for the boys to be faced by their father’s wrath.

But there was simply a stubborn rock settled somewhere in your sons’ heads—they get it from Hajime, you’d kept telling yourself—and for simply the reason of being boys in their early youths, they kept on drawing. Everywhere. Anywhere.

At least the both of you were thankful enough for Hina-chan. Still a tiny ball of warmth curled up cozily against in your arms, Hina was the youngest and the only daughter in your modest family of five. And the least likely source of your daily hurdles.

“By the time Hina learns to hold a pencil, should we just introduce our home as an art gallery or something?” Hajime had asked you rather comically after seeing the colorful family portrait Isao had drawn in one of his reference books.

Though Kazuki, your first child, was completely aware of his responsibilities as an older brother, it was concerning enough that he still hadn’t let go of his childishness. He was seven now, and in a few months, delving into April, he’d be in first grade. Maybe he was simply rowdy in nature... who knows? With a gruff husband like Iwaizumi Hajime, anything was possible.

Elementary school... you pondered, gazing softly at your family in the living room. Hajime cradling Hina in one arm while he and the boys cheered wildly at the service ace that was displayed on TV. How exciting.

══════ ⋆★⋆ ══════

“Remember to ask for ‘Ichimura-sensei’, alright? She was the teacher I talked to when Kazuki and I checked the school. She’ll know the details I asked her about in the last meeting so you just have to give her the application form.”

Hajime suppressed a chuckle at your adamant ramble. “You’ve only been telling me this all week. I won’t forget, you know.”

“Sorry,” you sighed, bouncing your sleeping daughter in your arms. “I just want to make sure nothing goes wrong. This is our firstborn we’re talking about.”

“Trust me, Y/N,” he smiled. “It’ll be fine.”

You could only nod quietly. Was it the maternal instinct within you that was acting up? It all felt too soon, too quick. If you blinked, Kazuki would’ve already gotten married already... You weren’t ready for that.

But the least you could do was get used to the changes that were going to happen around the house. Starting with this.

“You’ve brought the form with you, right? You didn’t forget it?”

You felt bad that your husband was being held up at the entrance to your little home, but it couldn’t hurt to be just slightly careful. Unclasping his bag, he scrabbled through it, shaking his head.

“Don’t worry, I’ve put it in a folder here last night, so there’s no way it would—Eh?”

More rummaging.

“Hajime, is everything alright?”

He was pulling things out of his bags now. 2000-yen bills, crumpled receipts, his packets of protein shakes, Hina’s diapers. But no application form. Nothing.

“I-It’s not there.”

“Huh?!”

“H-Hold on, I’ll check our bedroom,” his voice was in the least reassuring tone he could muster and you felt your heart drop a million feet into the ground.

Why would this happen now of all times? The document was already filled and sealed with your inkan*, payments documented, crucial information written on that single sheet of paper. Crucial information you couldn’t afford to fill in twice... and it was missing?

You really didn’t want to think about how today was the last day to submit applications—

“Kazuki!!” Hajime’s thunderous voice cut through the silence.

A tiny echo of pattering footsteps and Hina shifted against your chest but did not wake. You were thankful enough; anymore ruckus and your sanity would snap.

Yawning, your eldest scratched his dark bedhead and sauntered over to his father who fisted a sheet of paper in his hand. “Daddy, you’re too loud...”

Putting the paper onto full display, your eyes nearly bulged out of your head at what was on it.

Had the form always been so... colorful? You could barely see any writing on it, covered by the persistent doodles your son had scrawled over. Mixes of hiragana he’d been practicing, completed with small side drawings—Anpanman*, some horses and a purple paddy field. All in all: it was a mess. But it was clearly the form you’d filled in. And it was clearly Kazuki’s mess.

Hajime scowled, the space between his eyebrows wrinkling. “Did you do this?”

“...No.”

“Well it couldn’t be Isao or Hina, couldn’t it?” he seethed. “Don’t take me for an idiot. Isao’s been having playdates all week and Hina can’t draw yet. What did I tell you about drawing outside of the papers and books we gave you, huh?!”

“B-But I was just trying to help!” Kazuki exclaimed. “You and Mommy are always so busy taking care of papers. So I thought if I helped you write in it... you’d come and play with me again.”

Suddenly, a lump rose in your throat. You were always so busy taking care of Hina and Isao and their immeasurable demands, and your husband was either at work or out playing volleyball with the neighborhood team. You wondered how lonely it was for him the entire week you were taking care of the registrations.

How lonely it was, despite being surrounded by so much people.

Your husband, however, was completely unfazed. “Go to your room.”

“But Daddy, it’s not—!”

“Kazuki.” Each syllable he drew out sent a shiver down your spine. In a split second, the Iwaizumi household’s living room grew cold. “Go. To. Your. Room! Put your arms above your head and keep it that way until I come back!”

As if on cue, the waterworks emerged.

“I hate you, Daddy! I hate you! You never listen to me!” and that was the last thing you heard from the tear-streaked boy before he stumbled through the hallway, slamming his bedroom door behind him.

“...Mmn,” Hina roused, her tiny button nose flaring, and you instantly knew what was to come. Oh no...

Sighing in defeat, your husband crossed his arms and ambled back towards you and the bawling baby in your embrace. Pressing your lips together, you mumbled to him. “You could’ve been a bit nicer to Kazuki. Now look what happened.”

“He’ll never learn his lesson if I don’t get strict,” he said, the guilt crossing his eyes. Swimming. Settling. “I’m going to go ahead to the school before they close for the day. Ask if they’ve got anymore forms I can fill in there.”

You nodded, hands coming to rub gently against your daughter’s back as your husband kissed your forehead—a daunting ritual you did before whenever he left the house.

Then, he bent down to softly coo at the red-faced infant. “Hina-chan, how about a kiss for Daddy before I go?”

The result: Hina only cried louder. Repelled by the sudden change in volume, Hajime scratched the back of his neck remorsefully.

“I get it, I get it... I’m the bad guy today,” he rustled. “I guess I’ll be off now. I’ll leave the house in your care, Y/N.”

You smiled at him, your hard-working husband with a weak spot for your little family. “Be careful, Hajime-kun.”

As soon as the door clicked shut, you were left to your terror again. A crying seven-year old, a crying baby, and if all the noise were to wake up Isao from his afternoon nap... Geez, what a mess...

══════ ⋆★⋆ ══════

Hajime really felt like he knew this guy somewhere... High school? A volleyball match? That refreshing aura wasn’t really difficult to tell apart, either...

“You’re number 2 from Karasuno High, ain’tcha?”

“Uwaah... Seijoh’s Iwaizumi Hajime...” Sugawara twinkled, the grey cowlick on his head standing up straight. “The atmosphere of an powerful ace really is hard to miss.”

Hajime blushed. When was the last time someone called him a ‘powerful ace’? He had you to call him that whenever you were feeling nostalgic, but otherwise, that label was a shard of the past.

“Sugawara-san, right?” he recalled. “You work here at this school?”

The man chuckled. “Yep! I’m a teacher now. How about you, Iwaizumi-san? What are you up to here?”

“Oh, I’m looking for Ichimura-sensei. I want to talk to her about the registration for my son.”

Sugawara shook his head for a moment before replying.

“Unfortunately, Ichimura-sensei is out with the flu. That’s why I’m covering the weekend shift for her. You can just give the forms to me, and we can look over the terms and conditions.”

What luck, Hajime thought. But at least having this guy around wasn’t going to be as bad of an experience.

“Ah... about that...” he started. “My kid drew all over the application form and I don’t remember making any copies. So, would it be a problem if I did it again right now? Me and my wife are in a bit of a tough spot at the moment.”

By the grace of God, Sugawara said, “I don’t think it’d be a issue. Let’s go to the office and discuss it together. Before that, can I ask for your ID, Iwaizumi-san?”

“Ah, yeah, sure, let me just get my wallet...” filing through his bag, Hajime rifled through the stacks of paper, looking... searching... And when he got to his wallet: “Huh?”

There it was. The application-payment form he’d filled in last week, in its pristine glory. And with absolutely zero drawings on it. There was his family seal and everything. Down to both of your signatures, in the blue ink you’d insisted on using (Hajime never really bothered to make out the different uses of different inks).

“The form...” he muttered. “It must’ve slipped from the folder or something. Then that means the one at home was probably a copy...”

Freezing, Hajime realized. Crap. What have I done?

══════ ⋆★⋆ ══════

By the time Hajime got home, the house was already quiet again. Isao and Hina were asleep in your bedroom—Hina in her crib and Isao laid spread-eagle on the limited expanse of your queen-size bed. Taking the opportunity of a silent home, you decided to use the time you had to eat some sweets you’d secretly stashed in the fridge away from your children’s eyes.

“What a ravenous wife,” he’d teased, only for you to smear a dollop of whipped cream across his face in retaliation.

It didn’t take him long to realize the muffled sobbing from Kazuki’s room had subsided too. Curiosity getting the best of him, your husband stepped inside the danger zone.

Hajime always thought that Kazuki was a peaceful sleeper. He could sleep anywhere and still look like he was having the time of his life. During times like this, where Hajime was drained empty at the end of the day, he couldn’t help but feel jealous of his son.

Gingerly picking him up from the carpeted floors, Hajime rested Kazuki’s head on the crook of his broad shoulder, his gentle breathing blowing faint breezes next to his nape. Looking down at the smattering of papers on the ground, he reached down to read one that Kazuki had presumably written right before he was knocked out cold.

I’m really sorree Sorry Daddy :( I promise to never draw on your things ever again. Kazuuki

Below the large lopsided text he’d written in crayon was a smudged drawing of (what seemed) to be him. Well, if Hajime was a stickman with prominent eyebrows that stuck out of his face.

“I’m sorry too, kid. Guess I was being unfair, huh?” he murmured. “I’ll make it up to you once you wake up. We’ll all play together. Me, you, Isao, Hina and your mom. We’ll use as much time as we have left.”

And Hajime never backed down on a promise.

══════ ⋆★⋆ ══════

Glossary:

inkan - personalized seals used in lieu of signatures in paperwork

anpanman - a Japanese children’s superhero cartoon character, looks like this

[konietzko-sylvoran]

A New Routine

The sound of light strumming was becoming more and more of a frequent yet a random sound around the Howling Owl. While he only met with Bella once a week for his lessons, he practiced daily. A new daily practice he kept from most everyone, even Talthorn and he had his reasons. In the first week he’d practiced till his fingers locked up on him time and time again. Luckily they were already calloused from years working in his craft and shooting a bow and arrow. Yet he never guessed how much his fingers would ache from something as simple as strumming a few chords as he diligently practiced day in and day out. He was adamant to learn, and like any good craft or performer one only got good via practice. But Kon had proven both a quick learner and a determined one at that.   In the next week of lessons that came he had been given his first real lesson on singing. On the art of learning his voice and how to use it. He already knew how to dance and how to sing, but he’d never been taught how to truly... sing. By the that weeks end he was experimenting and practicing more and more frequently with a combination of both his voice and learning the chords. Humming and fine tuning his already deep rich voice to the sound of them as he tucked himself away in a corner of the Night Owl studio with his warm bitter tea he favored so much to sooth his throat as time passed. That had become his new daily morning ritual to sing, to practice, to greet the day with a combination of both.  That was only the first step in what he’d intended to become a part of his daily life. The property of the owl had become intimately familiar to the Kaldorei for several weeks now, as each morning he made it a habit to find random corners or places of solitude to tuck himself away in as he started himself back into the habit of a rigorous training regimen. Some days it was merely a jog around the property. Other days it was a combination of jogging and bodyweight workouts. The only thing he did on a daily basis without fail was a form of stretching meant to help limber him up as he’d gone too long and been too lax about conditioning himself for the last few years. But now... he had a reason, a purpose. He had a dream, a vision he wished to make a reality and day by day, step by step he was starting to realize that more was waiting there within his grasp.  In just a few days now, a week will have passed since he met with Caythaes and he eagerly awaited the engineer’s call to meet again. He wanted to be ready to test what he’d asked them to help him create. Something, that was going to greatly change his life as he knew it and yet a challenge that he would see through no matter how long it took him to learn it. He had told the Tarts and the Owls both that he intended to be more than just hired muscle, more than just a pretty face serving a drink or two. He had a dream, a vision and it was time to plant that seed and start letting it grow by feeding and nurturing it instead of just speaking of the idea of it. While much rested on the engineer to finish his prototype for him, even more rested in Kon’s ability to use it. It had been years since he last tried, but back then he had never thought to actually become a performer of any nature at least not professionally. Sure he had always dreamt of it but his own bad choices kept him far from that dream being realized. Those days were past and now it was time for him to rise instead of hiding behind his fears. Thanks to the tour of the Tart property that Caythaes had also given him, he was now spending his mornings practicing at the Owl and his afternoons training at the Tart’s gym. This was a far better opportunity for him to practice, to train and thus far it seemed he’d picked times when noone else was present. He liked that though, as he wasn’t yet ready to be seen by others. Not that he’d hide if someone happened to come in while he was hard at it but in the beginning it was far less nerve wrecking. The start was always hard to watch, painful even and he had a long way to go to recondition his body as he’d need. But that would not stop him, and his eagerness to prove he was still more than capable of reaching for this dream would be tested soon so he had little time left to sit around and wait. And so his afternoons and sometimes well into the late evenings were spent here day after day to keep himself busy

Yet as eager as he was to see all this through, to make these steps and changes a part of his new daily regimen, he knew he couldn’t forget what else he’d committed too already. He’d jumped into this new life of his headfirst these last few months without fear and with his usual confidence that he knew he’d see this through. But he had no direction and he became easily distracted by old habits of the former life he was trying to let go of yet never truly had. He did everything in his life with such passion and he treated those most dear to him with that same passion, but that too had proven too much for some and yet endearing to others. Kon still fell prey to letting events of the past get in his way, a fear of trusting others again. A fear that he wasn’t good enough and that they’d lose interest in him drove him to take action faster than most could accept. A lack of patience to find or even be found by what he wanted and instead grasping and clinging too hard when he found a lick of something good in his life. He was trying to obtain it all too fast. And already it was starting to effect more than just himself. Kon knew he needed to focus more on his direction and where he was going. To focus less on what he possessed and more on what he could offer. As Caythaes had told him the sun always rises just as it always shines even if he couldn’t see it nor anyone else for that matter. If he was a sun, then he would always rise. While Kon had been burning too hot in his pride with what he’d gained already... he was not too proud to admit it was time to take a step back and focus on himself. Because in that swell of pride he was falling back into those learned habits he despised most about himself and it was affecting those he’d cared for most. Potential friends were turning their backs at him, some were shutting him out entirely. But there were a few who stood bold and defiant, who helped him focus and see what was truly going on because they weren’t afraid to spare him his own feelings. Talthorn was his guiding light in all this, his comfort and his home. Leon had shown him tough love as a friend and called him out, refusing to let Kon punish himself by pushing him away. Both Talthorn and Leon had helped him talk through his hang-ups which were rather significant. They listened and both redirected him in their own way to keep him from hiding behind his own hubris. Even Caythaes made him all too aware that he was overly sensitive to being pushed away, another habit he had to break. Sharpen and Jiroki had started asking for more double dates again, it seemed at last she was forgiving him too so perhaps, this was progress? But even Jiro was not unaware that Kon had much on his mind keeping him from enjoying their time together. With all that had occurred this week alone in his personal life, with all that he was being offered professionally, personally and as a friend; he had finally made a choice no, a commitment not to squander it. Now was a time of action, actions that would prove much over time but yet none of it was something he could rush no matter how much he wanted too. He had a dream, he had a focus... and it was time to put more energy into that and to let his personal affairs filter through time, patience and rest. If he wanted to rise as the sun he once was, he had to find a way to balance himself out so he wasn’t so careless with those he’d like to become close too. And so began his new daily routine, something to focus on with all his effort and energy as if he needed this to prove to himself he was able to shine again. 

((Written with mentions to @talthorn-sylvoran​​, @mekandawn​​, @mremaknu​ @sharpen-jadescythe​, @bread-elf​, @belillinafireseeker​ and a subtle mention to @saeil-moonblade​ . Thank you all for taking the time to write with Kon here lately and help him develop his story more during this rather significant and transitional time in his life as a character. It seems he goes through them every so many years so he was due. I truly appreciate the opportunity to include more people and to write this out via rp interaction instead of just handwaving it. You are all appreciated, and you’ve my thanks. ♥ ))

[nerdyzombiesonskates]

Imagine Finding a Way to Save Tony

Side Note:   This is long but I wanted to establish your character’s background and develop relationships!

Warning: If you have not seen Endgame, there will be spoilers!   Y/N=Your Name, F/N=First Name, L/N=Last Name

Tony Stark x Reader. Platonic!Reader x Dr. Strange, Platonic!Avengers x Reader. The Reader does have an age gap but she’s still over 18!

One last note: This takes place between Dr. Strange, Civil War, and Ragnarok while ending in Endgame. 

You traveled with Captain Marvel throughout the galaxy, just before Thanos arrived. Along the way you learned you had a natural ability to magic so as Carol went out and saved the universe from every danger that showed it’s ugly head, you stayed back and learned all that you could from the strange masters. 

Healing was one of your abilities. It used a mixture of light magic and water. But this wasn’t just any water; this water came from the most sacred place in the galaxy. A place known as the Sanitatem. Here, the magic users master the arts ranging from minor cuts and scrapes all the way down to severe burns and essentially bringing someone back from the dead. 

Your journey separated you from your life long companion as a distress signal radiated among the ship you came to know and love. 

“I’ll see you soon, (Y/N). You’re going to do fine.” Carol mumbled with a sad smile. You gave her a firm hug, fighting the tears that threatened to fall. 

“It’s just the Masters of the Mystic Arts. I’m already a Sorceress of the Practical Arts, how hard can this be?” You weakly joked.  “Besides, I’ve been meaning to stop by Earth; the Ancient One is said to be there. Maybe she can teach me the last of the magical arts.” 

Carol hugged you firmly one last time. Once the two of you said your goodbyes, you departed with a silent spell; Ianuae Magicae. 

Earth was everything you had imagined it to be. Or at least how you remembered it to be before the Kree Empire took Carol and inadvertently you. Following the distress signal, you met up with Dr. Stephen Strange inside the New York Sanctum. His face grim, his lips in a thin line as if he was chewing on them subconsciously. 

“You must be (Y/N) (/L/N), I’ve heard many things about you.” 

“Good things I hope.” You mumbled sheepishly. 

A smile pulled at the corner of his lips. “Good things, yes. I called you here for a reason, (Y/N). Earth will be needing your services when Thanos comes.” 

Your eyebrow quirked up. “Oh? In what way?” 

Dr. Strange smirked. “If I told you, it wouldn’t come true.” 

You rolled your eyes playfully. “Ah yes, time mumbo jumbo. Don’t wanna ruin any surprises.” 

You paused for a moment, looking over your shoulder to the big city behind the two of you. “I have a feeling I’ll be meeting someone here. Someone...important to me.” 

Dr. Strange hummed. “Come, you want to learn the Mystic Arts, correct?” 

Your eyes shinned brightly. “Yes. I’ve heard nothing but mysterious things about the Ancient One and her students.” 

You chattered excitedly to Dr. Strange as he lead you through the Sanctums and finally to Kamar-Taj. Over the months, you trained along side your newest friend and mentor, Dr. Strange. You weren’t up to his level, nor did you think you would ever be but that didn’t phase you or him. You both knew where one of you were stronger in the Mystic Arts, the other was stronger in the Practical Arts. Eventually you would end up fighting along his side when Dormammu arrived; helping Stephen seal him away and gaining the Infinity Stone. 

Although your training was complete, you stayed with Dr. Strange learning more magic than your heart knew how to handle; your daily tasks included helping Strange categorized any and all mythical threats on Earth. 

Then one day, you met him.  It was an accident, honestly. You were out trying to locate some greek demigods that accidentally destroyed a minor part of a museum last night and had no intentions on meeting anyone when in the state of daydreaming, walked face first into the one and only Tony Stark. 

The two of you got along almost immediately. Your emphatic abilities picked up on almost every distressing emotion this poor man has subjected himself to. It was overwhelming to you but still you couldn’t help the blush that formed across your cheeks when he started using some stupid pick up lines and witty conversations. 

Your dates were romantic, and over the top just as he was. Every day brought a new adventure between the two of you and arguments were far and few in between. Eventually you were brave enough to tell him the powers you had, and he immediately told you he was Iron Man, and thus was already used to the strange and unusual. You wanted to mention you already knew who he was, considering everyone does but you kept it to yourself. 

You found yourself blabbing a lot to Stephen about your new relationship with Tony. You couldn’t contain yourself. 

“So you’re in love.” He said almost flatly. He walked around you, looking at maps of the multiverse. 

Your head snapped to look at him; eyes wide. A new emotion flooded you. One you weren’t one accustomed to since being with Tony, and Stephen. You were scared. 

“...Yeah...I guess you could say that.” 

“(Y/N), you know that’s a dangerous game to play in our work. Especially with what the outcome is supposed to be.” 

“There has to be a way.” You nearly yelled and stood up quickly from your chair. “I can’t...” You were breathless. 

You moved through rows and rows of books; some of them were just as ancient as the building was. Stephen appeared next to you, a look of forlorn on his face. He brought you into a bit of an awkward hug in an attempt to comfort you. 

“I can’t lose him, Stephen.” You breathed into his shoulder. 

“I told you getting too close would be disastrous for you.” He joked weakly. You shoved his shoulder lightly, pulling away from him. 

“I know I can’t change destiny but I have to try.” 

Stephen didn’t stop you. You wouldn’t let him even if he tried. 

The months flew by. You were getting closer and closer to Tony by each passing day, eventually moving in with him. You met some of the Avengers through your travels. You took a big liking to Wanda, and although Natasha was a bit weary of the age gap between you and Tony, she eventually warmed up to you, as did Clint. Steve seemed nice but he was troubled about something. You wanted to ask him about who this Bucky person was, but seeing the pain in his eyes the ache in his soul, you decided not to. You met Thor when he came barreling into the Sanctum declaring he was looking for his father, Odin. Stephen was more than glad to show him the way. 

On a rainy night in the middle of spring, you found yourself slow dancing in the middle of Tony and your’s shared living room that overlooked the Big Apple, the lights were dimmed, the music was soft and slow. Your head was laid on his chest, listening to his heart beat. You were content, but something lingered in the back of your mind. Thanos was coming; you could feel it in your bones. But there was something else that bothered you. Tony seemed nervous. 

“What’s wrong, love? You seem nervous.” You whispered softly to him. 

“Me? Nervous?” He scoffed softly. “Never.” 

You raised your head to look at him. A smile poking through his nervous demeanor. 

“You know you can’t lie to me.” You breathed. Raising one of your hands from his lower back, you cupped his face in the palm of your hand. Your finger tips just brushing through the ends of his hair. He leaned into your hand, his much larger hand cupping your smaller ones. 

“Y/N, I have something I’ve been meaning to say...for a while now.” He pulled you apart from him. You remained where he left you, as you watch him move to his bar. He took a swig of what you would assume is whiskey then watch him come nervously back to you with one of his hands behind his back. 

“Y/N, we’ve been through a lot the last couple of years. Steve doing his thing with Bucky, that thing with Loki and New York, and now finding the Infinity Stones...” Tony sighed deeply, his free hand taking one of yours. 

“I have loved you since the moment you walked into me,” He teased, his eyes glimmering with playfulness. You scoffed loudly. “Hey it was fate, okay?” 

You went to rip your hand from his, but he tightened the grip around your wrist. 

“In all seriousness, Y/N, Marry me.” He blurted out. 

You stood there in shock. Your mind reeling with emotions. Then you started crying. Tony seemed taken back. 

“A simple no, not today would’ve worked better.” He pulled you close to him, the pain of rejection radiating from his chest. 

“N-no,” you bubbled out, “these are tears of joy. Yes, I’ll Marry you Anthony Edward Stark.” 

He flinched. “Why did you have to say my full name like that?” 

You looked up at him with wide, bloodshot eyes. The both of you started to laugh uncontrollably. His forehead resting upon yours as you resumed dancing in his arms once again. He slipped the very impressive rock on your finger. 

“I love you Y/N L/N. Always have, always will.” He whispered to you. 

The two of you shared a kiss just as thunder rolled in the night sky. 

Finally the time had come. Thanos was upon Earth. You spent many nights worrying if Tony was ever going to come home. It was futile. You trusted Stephen Strange even though he kept the events a secret. You knew his methods, you knew his magic. He did this to protect the timeline. Still, your heart was aching. You lost your best friend, and your lover all with one snap of Thanos’s fingers. 

You sat with Natasha in her office, watching her trying not to have a mental break down. The meeting had ended, the remaining Avengers were taking control of any minor problems that had arrived since Thanos wiped off half of humanity. Her emotions were well hidden but the sadness crept into your brain like a drug.  

“Y/N! Natasha! You guys may wanna come see this!” Steve shouted over the earpiece. The two of you shared a look, and immediately ran outside. The sight had you on your knees in tears. 

Flying down from the sky, was not only Tony’s ship but Carol Danvers herself. She was the first one you hugged, the tears pouring onto your shoulder as she clung to your body. 

“I have missed you so much.” You choked. 

“I’ve missed you too.” She mumbled as she let go of your shaking form. She brushed the tears from your cheeks, and hinted over her shoulder. 

“There’s someone else you may want to see.” 

Tony came wobbling down the platform. His weakened frame was supported by Nebula’s taller robotic frame. It didn’t even click in your brain he had no energy, no strength to support you but you ran to him anyway. He tried as hard as he could to keep you from collapsing on him. 

“You’re Alive.” You mumbled over, and over again. Tony said nothing. He held you close to him and to both of you that was enough. 

Five years would pass by. 

Five years of Thanos’s destruction. You and Tony were married now. You had a beautiful house in the middle of the woods far from society. You had a daughter, who may have looked like Tony but shared your affinity for magic. She was talented that much you knew. You couldn’t wait to train her in the Mystic and Practical Arts. 

Then the fateful knock came. You saw them arriving just before they came knocking at your door. An argument occurred that night. An argument that you knew would arrive sooner or later. You had hoped for later. Much later. 

“They need you, Tony.” 

“You need me. Our daughter needs me.” He struggled over his own emotions. The turmoil battled between his wants and his needs. Tony just invented time travel, the opportunity to fix everything had come. 

You stood and moved slowly over to him. His pacing was making you anxious. You placed his hands on the his cheeks, and smiled softly at him. 

“Stephen put his trust in you that you would fix this mess, and I trust him and you. We’re going to win this, Tony.” 

It took a lot of convincing that night but when morning came, the Avengers were loosely back together. 

The fight with Thanos was crippling but the odds were stacked against him this time. Steve became a broken bleeding mess, Tony was almost the same way. Natasha was dead, and you...you were clinging on to the last hope you had. Your powers swirled deep within your core. 

It was now or never. 

Just as you raised your hands to release the ultimate power that swelled within you, portals opened up behind you. Tons of them too. You looked behind you, and smiled the biggest smile you ever had in years. Your friends, the Avengers that once vanished into thin air, were now here along side you and your comrades. 

You looked to Stephen. “I found away.” You mouthed. You pointed to the chain around your neck. A single vial hung around the chain and laid on your chest. 

“I hope it works out.” Stephen would say to you. 

“I know it will.” You countered. 

During the battle, Tony found his way to the gloved hand that carried the infinity stones. You fought along side Wanda, and Peter, making sure no enemies would attack your reunited family. 

Noticing the end was near, you ran to Tony just as he snapped his fingers. The light was blinding and the force was felt across the multiverse. Thanos and minions vanished into nothing just as humanity did years ago. You caught Tony in your arms just as he crumpled from the burns that etched his body 

Peter joined your side, his face etched with worry. “Your going to be okay, Mr. Stark.” 

You smiled weakly at Peter. “Everything’s going to be okay, Peter. I promise.” 

Stephen placed a firm hand on Peter’s shoulders. The two of them back off a bit allowing you enough space to prop Tony up on the rock behind him. You took the vial from around your neck and clasped it in your hand. You focused your powers to the vial; a light blue light shimmered around it, engulfing your hand. 

Tony eyed you a bit wearily. “We’re going home together. All of us.” You told him firmly. 

You placed your hand on his cheek, and focused on the burned skin surrounding your fingers. The water flooded through his veins, glowing a warm white light as it healed the torched wounds. 

“I’ll need to take you to Sanitatem to fully heal your wounds.” You whispered to him. “But this should heal the worst of them.” 

Tony pulled you close to him. 

Peter  nearly sobbed as he raced to join the now group hug.  You gave a watery laugh as the three of you were smooshed into the bear hug. 

You helped Tony to his feet as the newly rejoined Avengers return to the current day Earth. 

“Lets go home.” 

[thecassadilla]

The Perfect Moment

Word Count: 1,866/AO3

Pairing: New Dream/Rapunzel x Eugene

Summary: Eugene tries to find the perfect moment to propose to Rapunzel. 

Author’s Note: Hi everyone! This is my contribution for Day 5 of New Dream Appreciation Week - Proposal! I’d just like to reiterate that I, idiotically, have not watched seasons 2 and 3 of Rapunzel’s Tangled Adventure (well, I watched one random episode at 3 in the morning, but that’s a different story for a different day). While I know there were multiple proposals and rings from both Eugene and Rapunzel, I actually haven’t seen any of them, unfortunately. So, in true “me” fashion, this is a Modern!AU that I pulled out of thin air. Seriously, I don’t know how I managed to come up with this - I’ve never been proposed to, and all of my friends have gotten engaged in Disney World. Definitely not my area of expertise lol. I hope you enjoy it!

If you asked him directly, Eugene would’ve denied being a planner. He lived his life on the edge, doing things on a whim. Spontaneity. Until he met Rapunzel - then he subconsciously became a planner. Although outwardly, he tried to play it cool and pretend like he was too focused on living in the moment to care about the future, that couldn’t be further from the truth. It only became evident to him when he purchased an engagement ring for Rapunzel and carried it around for months, unsure of when and how to propose to her. 

Like the night they went to dinner and she looked so beautiful. He wanted to pull the ring out of his pocket and propose right there, but then there was a fire in the kitchen and they all evacuated, so they ended up getting fast food and calling it a night. So, he scrapped his plans and decided it would be best to wait for a better opportunity.

There was the weekend they went to New York City where he thought about proposing a thousand times. Like inside the Museum of Modern Art; the vibes weren’t right, though, and that plan quickly went out the window. He thought about doing it at the ice skating rink at Bryant Park, but then someone injured themselves while skating and he knew he would’ve felt guilty for taking away the attention from someone who’d just been hurt. He very seriously thought about doing it in front of the Christmas Tree at Rockefeller Center, and just as he was about to pull out the ring and get down on one knee, a couple less than ten feet away from them got engaged. Forget Times Square, that place was filled with couples getting engaged. And then just like that, the weekend was gone and so was the opportunity to propose in New York.

He thought about doing it on New Years Eve, surrounded by their friends and family at a party, and instead, he found himself in a fog.

“Hey,” Rapunzel said, shaking his arm slightly.

He shook his head in an attempt to come out of his trance. “Huh?”

“Are you alright?” She asked, a glimmer of concern in her eyes.

“Oh, yeah, sorry. I was deep in thought.”

“Okay,” she smiled. “Just checking.”

And thus, another opportunity fizzled before his eyes. He was immensely grateful that Rapunzel appeared to be none the wiser to his plans, failed or otherwise. The thought was on his mind constantly, but he had a long list of everything that it had to be: perfect, for starters. Unique. Unforgettable. Extraordinary. And daily life just wasn’t like that; it was ordinary and mundane. They went to work and ran their errands, and that was that. 

He was certain that he was going to do it on Valentine’s Day. He had the entire evening planned out; they were going to go to see a show at the theatre, and then to a fancy restaurant and he was going to do it - no more inhibitions. Until he got stuck late at work.

“Hello?”

“Hey, sunshine,” he said into the phone, trying his best to keep his voice from cracking. 

“Hi, baby!” She exclaimed. “Sorry, I’ve got my hands full and I couldn’t see who was calling. But I’m so excited for tonight.”

“Yeah, about that…” he started, but trailed off.

“Oh no, what’s wrong?”

“I’m stuck working late,” he sighed. “I’m really sorry, I know you were looking forward to tonight.”

“Oh,” she said, the slightest hint of disappointment in her voice for a split second. “Well we can always reschedule! It’s just a day, after all.”

She was ever the optimist, wasn’t she? If only he felt the same way. He wasn’t bitter, but it was yet another wrench in his plans. And this one wasn’t for lack of trying, or because someone else stole the moment, either. It was just sheer bad luck. 

So he sat on it for a long, long time. There were no more special days, no more special trips. Time was passing quickly, and it was starting to bother him more and more, and eventually it became noticeable. 

“Is everything okay, Eugene?” She asked while they were sitting at the dinner table one night.

He looked up. “Of course.”

“You’re lying.”

His eyes widened. “What?”

“Something isn’t right,” she said, placing her hand on top of his. “You haven’t been yourself lately. Is something bothering you?”

“No, everything’s fine,” he lied. “Things have just been rough at work. You know how it is.”

“Okay,” she nodded, her eyes sympathetic. “You’ll tell me when you’re ready.”

He didn’t answer. And he hated himself for that. He hated himself for lying to her, and he hated himself for not doing it right then and there. But the most perfect woman in the world was sitting right in front of him, and she deserved nothing less than perfection. 

He decided that he’d have to work harder to disguise his feelings. And more time passed. He thought about doing it when they went to the park at sunset, but they were being eaten alive by mosquitoes and had to leave before he could even think about doing anything. He thought about doing it the night they sat outside and stargazed, until their neighbors came outside and ruined the moment. He contemplated doing it on her birthday, but that plan fell to pieces when he realized that she should have her birthday to herself; getting engaged should be a separate day to celebrate. He thought about doing it when they were laying in bed one night; she was reading a book and just as he was about to clear his throat, she leaned in to kiss him goodnight and turned off her lamp. And the moment had escaped yet again.

And that brought them to mid-July. He’d been carrying around the ring for eight months, letting it sit in its box instead of on her finger, where it belonged. The beach, the pier, the mountain they hiked, and the drive down the coast became other missed opportunities along the way.

When he woke up that morning, he wasn’t surprised to see that she was already gone. It wasn’t unusual for her to get up early on a Saturday to run her errands. He laid in bed for a while, brooding and muttering to himself before he got up and decided to go on a long drive to clear his head. It didn’t help, of course. He wasn’t only wasting time, but also gas. He felt totally incompetent; the ring was burning a hole in his pocket and he felt like he wasn’t being honest with Rapunzel. 

He returned home in the early afternoon, feeling no better than he did before he left. He took a deep breath as he pushed his key into the lock, unsure what he would do if Rapunzel noticed his sullen expression - it was more a matter of when than if, at this point, though.

The living room was covered in a large tarp, an easel and blank canvas in the center of the room. The coffee table was pushed into the kitchen and a bouquet of sunflowers wrapped in brown paper were resting on the counter. Every blind and curtain was open, so the entire room was illuminated with natural light.

“Hey!” Rapunzel called, emerging from the hallway with a stool in her hands. “I wasn’t sure when you were coming back, so I turned the living room into a studio. I hope you don’t mind.”

He was immediately taken aback by her appearance. She was wearing denim overall shorts, with a white floral off-the-shoulder top underneath. She had a light blue headband in her hair, a small knot sitting perfectly in the center. She placed the stool next to the easel and put her hands on her hips. She looked so happy, and completely at ease with the world.

“No,” he shook his head, dumbfounded. “I don’t mind at all.”

“I figured you wouldn’t,” she giggled. “Oh, and guess what!”

“What?”

“I went to the market today and they said the sunflowers bloomed two weeks early! Isn’t that just incredible?” She gushed. 

“Yeah, that is something,” he said, his voice low.

“The only thing is, I can’t remember where I put the vase. I’d like to get them in some water, but I don’t know where it is,” she said, bringing her fingers up to her face. 

He tried to think but his brain wasn’t working.

“Ooh!” She exclaimed suddenly, clapping her hands together. “I remember what I did with it!”

She raced down the hallway, and he heard the closet door open. A minute later she was back with the vase in his hand, and he realized that he never moved from the entryway to their apartment. He was standing there, shoes on and keys in hand, frozen. 

“I found it! I was keeping all of my sewing stuff in it temporarily,” she explained, bringing the empty vase into the kitchen. She navigated around the coffee table that was taking up most of the room, and he heard the tap turn on, followed by the sound of paper being torn away. A few seconds passed and she came out, holding the vase full of sunflowers in her hands. She was smiling brightly when she said “See! Look at how nice that looks.”

She went back into the living room and placed the vase on the stool. And then he decided it was now or never.

“Marry me,” he said, his voice practically a whisper. 

“What was that?” She asked, her back facing him.

He dropped his keys on the floor, startling her, and then charged in her direction. She turned to face him and he repeated himself.

“Marry me,” he said, breathlessly.

Several looks crossed her face - confusion, shock, delight. “I-uh, w-what?” She stuttered.

And so he pulled the ring box out of his pocket, got down on one knee, and opened it. Both of her hands flew up to cover her mouth and her eyes widened as she watched his every move.

“Rapunzel, you’re my best friend. I love everything about you - your kindness, your ability to see the world in a positive light, your creativity and your sassiness. You inspire me to be a better man each and every day. I love going on adventures with you and I want all of our adventures to be together. I know you're the only one I want to share the rest of my life with. Will you marry me?”

“Yes!” She nodded, tears pooling in her eyes and offered him her shaky left hand.

He slid the ring onto her finger and stood up, and immediately she was in his arms. 

“I can’t believe this,” she blubbered, when she finally pulled away. “How long have you been planning this?” 

“A long time,” he admitted, sheepishly. “I’ve had the ring for about eight months, and I kept trying to find the perfect moment, but it wasn’t easy.”

“Nothing could be more perfect than this,” she promised, leaning up to press a kiss to his lips.

[windandwater]

When my grandfather on my dad’s side passed away, I wrote up a piece with just one family story after another about the experience. I can’t really do the same thing in the same way this time, but I am finding that, in every death, family draws tighter together and tells stories to each other almost on instinct, finding common ground around this one person who shaped us.

Here are some stories that have come out of the last few weeks.

*

I will warn you that the story of my mom’s family has a dark side—her biological mother was physically, emotionally, and psychologically abusive. My grandfather was the one who saved his children from her and thus I can’t speak of him without speaking of her as well. I ended up only telling one story that involves her and it has a content warning at the beginning as well as a note for when the story ends.

*

In his eulogy, my step-uncle said that my grandfather, his stepfather, taught him that “family isn’t about biology. It’s about love.”

Well, he was the one who taught me that too, only not because I had crappy parents. Until he remarried, mom had a crappy parent and a good parent, and the good parent held the family together and shaped us in ways that I’m still only beginning to find out.

*

CW CHILD ABUSE

(Note: I’m referring to her as my mom’s bio-mom or by her initials, NW.)

The custody battle was brutal, and it went all the way to the state supreme court. Fathers didn’t get custody back then—my mom says “abuse” wasn’t even in the lexicon in the initial court cases.

We found this out because my brother & his girlfriend googled my grandfather and this is what came up. They read the deposition and initially my brother was uncomfortable with her seeing it, but my mom said it grazed the surface—and as I told him, the only reason I don’t going around telling people that my mom’s bio mom did stuff like frequently sprain her wrist from beating them is that it’s not exactly the kind of thing you dump on people without warning, not because it’s a secret or because my mom doesn’t want me to talk about it.

I’ve known for a long time that when I was really little, my mom once found herself with her hands around my throat, freaked the fuck out, and from that moment had to second guess every inch of her parenting and her actions around us, because she had no instincts to fall back on. I didn’t need to read “choking her eldest daughter” as an example of abuse in a court case to know that that happened to my mom.

Anyway, the psychological abuse always scared me more. Because my mom won’t talk about it much.

END CW

*

Apparently, even though moms are perfect angels who should always get child custody and can do no wrong to children, word was getting around about her and someone offered to “take care of the problem” for $150.

My grandfather never would’ve said yes to that, and he decided to try the legal route first. But he was ready to take the kids and run, if he didn’t get custody. Leave his job, fake name, move to Phoenix, everything. I’m beyond thankful that didn’t have to happen but also beyond relieved that he was ready to.

*

He never spoke a single ill word about NW.

*

I was very disappointed about missing the funeral in person. I was hoping they’d have it after my ankle surgery so I could at least be propped up in a corner somewhere, high on Vicodin maybe, but there.

Honestly I’m disappointed about a lot of things this month.

The day before the funeral, my dad came in with a picture showing me the outside of the house. There was a rainbow. A little one, but a rainbow.

I of course dragged my ass out of my sickbed, hopped my way out there, and made him set up a chair so I could see it too.

*

There’s a reason I run a side blog of rainbows. There’s a personal & private story there, but what you need to know is that in dark moments, I often look for rainbows or have literal rainbows sent my way. They bring me hope every time. I sat outside, foot hurting and sweating all over from the heat, watching the rainbow fade, knowing it was going to be okay.

I haven’t always gotten along with my cousins on that side of the family. They grew up in Louisiana and are much closer to each other, so there’s a lot of gaps to bridge and we taller, dark-haired city people from Yankee land who clung close to each other and weren’t used to big families always kind of stuck out a bit among the short blondes who had always lived in the South in a big insane group of cousins and step-cousins.

We’ve gotten closer more recently. It’s trendy to hate on your family on facebook, but interacting on social media has given me some separation between the stuff that makes me roll my eyes about my cousins and the stuff that endears me to them.

And it was through facebook that we came together because of one simple fact: we all had the same, terrible morning.

We all woke up first thing to our moms, broken in half themselves, breaking our hearts too.

*

I get told that I laugh and smile a lot. Sometimes I’m even told that in non-creepy ways! And it’s true. I sometimes think I exist moment to moment trying to find something new to make me laugh. I learned that from my parents, who will watch or listen to just about anything if it’s funny. I learned to tell stories from them too, to take all my experiences and find the good the bad and the funny in everything.

My mom is my best audience. She laughs like a hyena at all my stories, my good lines and my bad lines. She’ll laugh at jokes that I *know* aren’t funny, at the ones that I think are hilarious but no one else laughed at, and she laughs the hardest of all at the jokes I’m extremely proud of and that land really well nearly every time.

Her whole family’s like that. Head thrown back, laughing hysterically, whole conversations just an excuse to try and make each other laugh.

Her dad, too. Just as loud and as hard as the rest of them. He had a giggle, and also a cackle. He used to give points when someone said something particularly funny, let out a really good zinger, or “won” a round of conversation. He’d just grin, solemnly lick his finger, and draw a “1” in the air.

*

He liked pranks. I’ve told story after story on my blog about how my family likes to mess with each other at Christmas. My mom’s saying is that “there’s no such thing as a lie at Christmas”, meaning that your gift is late or it wasn’t in stock or we can’t do it this year, I haven’t found a gift for you so you’re just getting candy? Not lies.

Except it’s not her saying. It’s his.

Anything that arrives at the house in December gets wrapped up and put under the tree; it’s automatically a gift. You think that trick of wrapping things in progressively smaller boxes is a prank? Amateur hour. I’ve wrapped up individual pieces of candy, individual matryoshka dolls, and yes, the smallest git in the largest box but also filled the box with packing peanuts to make it extra annoying.

I learned all of this from my mother.

But he taught it to her.

If I find hideous things to give my brother, it’s because my mom’s family rotated a Velvet Elvis, giving it to each other, for years. If my mom watched in stoic silence as my dad tore the house apart for looking something they got in Arizona that was wrapped up under the tree, it’s because someone wrapped up two huge boxes for my grandfather that he was excited to open, that turned out to be two light fixtures he’d ordered and forgotten about.

We never lost the magic of Christmas in my house. If anything it got more magical, more fun to surprise each other and find funny and creative ways to show each other how much we care. Gift giving is an art form in my family and I look forward to it every year.

It’s all because of my grandfather.

*

I learned so many things from my parents that they in turn learned from my grandfather. Even my dad learned a lot from him as his father-in-law, because it was impossible not to look up to him, and he was a teacher in his profession and by nature. Everyone talked so much at the funeral and afterwards about how he could fix anything, build anything, do, anything.

I was called “Tinker” at one of my old jobs for how I was always fixing everyone’s computer and the various office machinery. I didn’t necessarily know how until I sat down and looked at it. I just knew how to figure it out.

I always thought I learned that from my parents, which I guess is still true, but now I know who they passed it on to me from.

One thing I always associated with my mom was that any time she saw a pile of my necklaces in a knotted mess, she would sit down an untangle them for me. I never asked her to do that; she would just see them, and sit down and start working on them. She always got a specific look of concentration on her face as she did.

My dad and I were talking after the funeral and he mentioned my grandfather doing that exact thing in our house at ninety-something years old. He has a picture of it. I knew without seeing it exactly what the expression on his face would be.

It’s now one of my favorite pictures of him.

*

There was technical trouble with the Zoom funeral, which was pretty disastrous—I wasn’t the only one who wasn’t able to attend due to health & other problems. For someone so beloved, so central to the family, who we all owe so much to but don’t even think of it that way because he was so fun and easy to love…well, funerals are for the living, and not being able to be there in person hurt, bad, and I know I wasn’t the only one who felt that way. We were relying on being able to attend digitally.

But most of the world is still getting used to doing things over video, and certainly the older couple running the funeral home was a bit clueless. I, on the other hand, ran video calls (not over Zoom, but still) almost daily for 2 years while I was an admin and we had remote employees calling in to meetings. So as soon as I realized exactly what was causing the problem, I got on the phone with the funeral home and did my best to salvage what we could.

And then I pulled the recording for everyone (thank goodness it was recorded).

And then before I watched it I wrote up some instructions, with screenshots, for the funeral home for next time, because they genuinely didn’t know what to do and I wanted to make sure the next family had an easier time and if the problem is just understanding technology, I know how to help with that! I’m good at figuring out and explaining this stuff! It’s just what you do—you help people when you can! You know?

And then I watched the funeral, and listened to my uncle talk about my grandfather always fixing things, and always teaching people.

And I just broke down. Because I knew. I knew who I was.

If the legacy I carry is that of someone who can’t resist helping others by teaching and fixing problems, then may I never ever ever let go of that legacy.

My mother called me to tell me that when they realized what was going on and what I was doing, my uncles both said the same thing, that “that was Papa.”

*

The only good part about any of this is that I’m here with my mom right now. She talked to him all the time before he died but she didn’t get to see him, and she keeps saying things like how she wishes she could tell him the good joke she heard. She’ll casually talk about the depression she’s fighting off.

I didn’t want a broken ankle to strand me here but there are worse times to be stuck with my mom.

[justhereforseverus]

A rose by any other name would smell as sweet

Chapter 9: The quality of mercy is not strained.

Summary:

After catching up with Remus, you find your classroom destroyed and your heart broken. Yet, an owl in the middle of the night brings a message of kindness and an unexpected solution to your sleeping problems.

Notes:

Ok, that took a while. Probably a ton of tense mistakes in here. Apologies in advance.

The slow burn is slowly burning faster and I hope you'll like it! Thank you so much for reading! <3

Chapter Text

A couple of days later, Remus had returned to Hogwarts. As the weather was gorgeous, we decided to take a walk in the forbidden forest during our break. You could feel it was getting colder and winter would soon be in full swing but our cloaks kept us warm enough.

“I tell you” – said Remus. “The hidden wizard restaurant on top of the Eiffel Tower is marvellous. The wine and food were superb! That was worth going to this waste-of-time conference. I swear, I almost RAN out the door when Professor Whitaker was done with his hopefully final seemingly endless monologue praising himself. He consistently had to give a 10 minutes ‘not a question but more of a comment’ monologue after every. single. presentation! Some people need to learn to keep it short and simple. Especially when I have a train to catch.”

“Ah yes.” – I commented “Some things never change. When I’m in a conference or a seminar I’m sitting around thinking of the shortest, most effective and relevant thing to say while others just… talk… without any consideration or thought. It’s a skill though.”

Remus watched some squirrels running up a tree and said: “Yes, I guess but you can do that without being an asshole. Anyway, enough of me gossiping about the so-called elite of the teaching wizard society. How have you been? I heard you’ve been filling my seat next to you with someone else.”

“Oh, and who might’ve told you that, I wonder” – I teased. “Well, to make it short. Severus could easily be a first-class actor and we both spent one inspiring evening talking about books. All very innocent and uneventful. And you know you’ll always be my favourite person to sit next to.”

“Seems like someone did at least an average job entertaining you. Just talked about books, eh? Did he scold you on your miserable book taste.”

“What?! I have an excellent taste! Don’t you dare!”

“You don’t like Brecht though. Or any of my cheesy horror story magazines.”

“I can appreciate someone’s impact on the arts without personally liking him. Brecht’s a dick that’s a fact! And I’ve never said I don’t like your magazines. I just find them too predictable.”

“Ok, ok! Did he scold you though?”

“Of course not! He was rather charming.”

“That’s a word I’d never use describing Professor Severus Snape but you do you.”

“There’s a slight problem though.”

“Oh, what would that be?”

“Remus, you’ve know him longer than I do. Do you know if he..”

“I’ve known him for over 10 years, but if you’re asking me if he has some ulterior motives being friendly to you or if he actually has or had something like a love life in the past– I’m afraid I can’t give you a satisfying answer.”

“…I’m very transparent, am I?”

“Yes, you are. Frankly, I think Severus, too.”

“What do you mean?”

“Anyone can see that there is something different in his behaviour. He never has been that friendly and caring with a new colleague before. I mean he and Minerva get along well in a competitive and respectful way. He and Sprout talk almost daily but it’s more business than anything else. He respects her knowledge and needs her supplies. Dumbledore often invites him for tea into his office. Apart from that, I’ve never seen him interact with someone on that close basis. He was very attached to a friend of mine during our school years but that didn’t end well and we’ve never talked much about her past together with him. Either way…. I don’t know what to tell you apart from it’s unusual. You should still be cautious though but it seems you two would get along very well IF that’s something he… does.”

I did return to my classroom deep in thoughts. Should I go further? Or maybe that’s not on his mind at all and I over interpreted it. I don’t know…

However, when I turned towards the hallway to my classroom door, all of these thoughts vanished form my mind. The door was unhinged and splintered wood lay all around the floor. It seemed it was forced open with an explosion. After I stepped inside, I saw that my books had been ripped apart and the pages were plastered all over the floor, walls, and the roof. My desk was placed upside down and all the costumes burned to ashes. Over the windows the following words had been written with red paint: “Whore”. In addition, there were enchanted paper planes flying around the room with the same message inscribed on them. I was shocked and paralysed for some minutes. Gaining my strength back, I ran to Dumbledore’s office to get help.

Shortly after, the heads of the houses, Remus, and Dumbledore stood in the room to get an overview of the damage. Remus and Severus tried to find out more about the culprits and the way the security spells have been broken. Dumbledore assured me he won’t tolerate this on his school grounds and will start an investigation immediately. He gave instructions to Pomfrey, Minerva, Severus and Flitwick to inform their houses and communicate that this is not acceptable and that there will be severe punishments. However, he also said that if someone voluntarily comes forward, this will be considered on milder terms. After gaining all the information one could from the crime scene, Remus and I stayed in the classroom to deal with the mess. I’ve stayed quiet during all this. Remus could see I was in peril and hugged me tight after we’ve cleaned everything up.

When I returned to my quarters all the pain I’ve swallowed during the day came pouring over me. I cried on my bed and felt utterly helpless. I’ve expected the backslash. I knew the pure-blood wizards would hold onto the connection that people who act are frivolous liars. That this kind of time-wasting entertainment shouldn’t exist and not taught at a school. But to see the safety of my students compromised.. I wasn’t prepared for this at all and I blamed myself for this.

Sleep was impossible despite my exhaustion. I’ve run out of Severus sleeping potions and didn’t want to use ask for more. In addition, it was raining heavily outside and thus my calming night-walk would’ve been too wet and unhealthy. What to do…

Suddenly I heard a noise on my balcony. A black owl tapped with her beak on the glass door. I let her in and she shook herself to dry, making her surroundings, including me, a bit damp. I gave her some food near the fireplace and took the letter attached to her feet. I read:

“Dear [y/n],

I hope my owl finds you well and it won’t be lost in the rain. 

I can imagine that it might be difficult for you to sleep tonight. I’ve prepared more of the sleeping potion for you. If you need some simply come to my office and knock.

Be assured my house will pay the price if the culprit is one of them.

Yours Sincerely,

Severus Snape”

I made my way to the dungeon immediately. I knew my eyes were puffy and red and I certainly didn’t look very well but I didn’t care. I wanted to talk to him. I just wanted to see him.

While I went downstairs, I heard thunder rattling outside. The rain had transformed into a storm. The thunder made the walls shook and I hurried downstairs.

I knocked and the door opened automatically by magic by recognising me. I stepped inside the office but couldn’t see anyone at first. I looked around and saw that one of the walls was open and through that Severus stepped towards me. His cloak and jacket were missing. He only wore the white shirt and black pants he usually wore underneath his three layers of clothing. Another thing was different this time: he had tied up his long black hair. I certainly wasn’t expecting such a relaxed and casual look. You could see his skinny but muscular chest under the shirt. He seemed to wear a necklace with a pendant on but I couldn’t make out what it was. To be honest, he looked very dashing like that. “Wow.”- I exclaimed before I could stop my brain. “I mean.. hi Severus. That’s not one of your usual looks but I have to say I rather like it.”

“This is not a look. It’s almost midnight and the only person I was expecting was you as Filch has to annoy Flitwick tonight. Contrary to popular belief, it’s not very comfortable sitting in my quarters in my full cloak. I reckoned that would be acceptable with you, taking into account our close acquaintance.

“Oh no, I’m glad you feel comfortable with me. I hope I’m not interrupting one of your free nights then.”

“I rarely have ‘free’ nights. There are other duties to follow. Yet, I invited you and opened the door so obviously no – you’re not interrupting. Apart from that, I have to tell you that you look dreadful. I assume you didn’t catch a wink so you can certainly use a refill of my potion.”

As always the gentleman… “Thank you, Severus.”

“You’re welcome. Come in.”

His quarters were similar to mine, as there were bookshelves on most of the walls and a fireplace. Yet, it was much darker due to the nature of the dungeons. He had a dark-green velvet couch and an old but cosy velvet reading-chair near the fire. A small shelf was on the wall over his desk containing various bottles of potions. I could see another door that presumingly lead to his bedroom. It was quiet spacious. On one side were enchanted windows that showed the outside of the garden upstairs. You could see the thunderstorm raging but it felt so safe and warm down here.

He pointed towards the couch and I took my place while he got some tea. He put it on the antique living room table in front of us and then sat opposite me, handing me the familiar bottle with his sleeping potion.

“Thank you. It’s so warm and cosy here, that’s such a strong contrast to the rest of the dungeons.”

“The Slytherin common room is similar. So far no student had reason to complain. It’s just the classroom and the hallways that are so cold and sinister. We might look unpleasant from the outside but we do care about a certain kind of luxury and comfort in our house.”

“Yes, of course.” I nodded and sipped on my tea.

“So, should we talk about what happened today or would you rather not? I’m not a healer and I personally don’t see the point in rambling to other people. Yet, I know it helps others. In any case, I’m listening.”

“There is not much to talk about though. For wizards, theatre is a gateway to prostitution because people pretend they're someone else. In addition, they kiss and hug on stage and do other ‘shocking’ displays so what good can it be, right? God-forbid it actually teaches anyone to not be a dick in real life. It’s fine.” –I said angrily and sarcasticly, convincing no one with the last statement. “I’m just worried about my students. They shouldn’t be confronted with it so early on..”

Severus replied: “They will be fine. Either they’ll continue and stand up for what they’ve learned or they quit. I can assure you, my colleagues made clear to their houses what their position is. The students can decide for themselves.”

“Maybe, but at this point it feels like their life and reputation is in danger.”

“Then Dumbledore, Remus and I will make sure they are safe and supported.”

It felt nice to hear that though it didn’t help much with my fear. “I appreciate it. I really do.”

Severus sighed and looked me straight in the eyes: “Yet, you are here and have doubts. Your eyes are red and puffy from crying, your hair unkempt and your clothes damp. You can’t sleep, you’re shaking and you are scared. Why are you scared? You knew it would be difficult but you also know you have support. Why would you let some stupid minor thing like this get into your head so easily?”

“You’re right… I know.”

“Then act like it.” - he said sternly.

I nodded and looked to the floor. I knew he was right. Yet, I was shaking. To hear him say those words was being confronted with the truth of my fear, worries and insecurities. Tears filled my eyes and I had to control myself. I didn’t want to end up crying on his couch so I looked down and pretended to be suddenly very interested in my tea.

I heard a deep sigh next to me, followed by a clinking sound of a tea cup put on the table. I didn’t want to look up, I didn’t want him to see me like that. He probably despises my weakness in this situation. One thing happens and I break down. For how many years, am I doing this? Why does it still bother me?

I expected him to leave the room or order me to go out but he did none of these things. Instead, I felt his hand touching mine and holding it tightly. He didn’t say anything. His hand was warm and his fingers softly intertwined mine. We just sat there for a while, holding hands in silence. I calmed down and instead of crying my heart was beating faster of joy. I was blushing but I didn’t care. That act was so kind, so soft, so warm, so comforting. After a while, I felt peaceful and my tiredness came over me. Bravely, I put my head on his shoulder to close my eyes for a bit. I could hear him sigh and moving slightly, contemplating what to do. Slowly, he let go of my hand and put his arm around me instead. He pulled me closer and I put my arm around his waist and my head on his chest. I smelt his perfume and heard his heartbeat. I could feel his muscles underneath the shirt. I felt like sitting in a cloud of warmth, peace and safety. With this, I quickly drifted into sleep. And all that without the help of a potion.

[shenlongshao]

Aerith & Jam: The Eastern Appeal of Two Similar Women

February has came so fast! I thought it would be fun to a post to celebrate the upcoming birthdays of my two, all-time favorite characters; Jam Kuradoberi from Guilty Gear and Aerith Gainsborough from Final Fantasy 7. I'll be explaining in detail the surprising amount of similarities between them, why these characters are widely loved in Eastern more than Western audiences, etc. I hope you enjoy reading!^_^ Let's begin by looking at Aerith's and Jam's design!

WHAT JAM AND AERITH HAVE IN COMMON ====================================

Besides having light brown hair, Jam and Aerith share the color scheme of red and pink. These two colors perfectly represent Jam's and Aerith's personalities along with their outlook on life.

The Color Red (https://www.empower-yourself-with-color-psychology.com/color-red.html):

The color red is a warm and positive color associated with our most physical needs and our will to survive. Red is energizing. It excites the emotions and motivates us to take action. It signifies a pioneering spirit and leadership qualities, promoting ambition and determination. It is also strong-willed and can give confidence to those who are shy or lacking in will power. Being the color of physical movement, the color red awakens our physical life force. It is the color of sexuality and can stimulate deeper and more intimate passions in us, such as love and sex on the positive side or revenge and anger on the negative.

The Color Pink (https://www.empower-yourself-with-color-psychology.com/color-pink.html):

The color pink represents compassion, nurturing and love. It relates to unconditional love and understanding, and the giving and receiving of nurturing. A combination of red and white, pink contains the need for action of red, helping it to achieve the potential for success and insight offered by white. It is the passion and power of red softened with the purity, openness and completeness of white. The deeper the pink, the more passion and energy it exhibits. Pink is feminine and romantic, affectionate and intimate, thoughtful and caring. It tones down the physical passion of red replacing it with a gentle loving energy.

Pink is intuitive and insightful, showing tenderness and kindness with its empathy and sensitivity. In color psychology, pink is a sign of hope. It is a positive color inspiring warm and comforting feelings, a sense that everything will be okay. 

An interesting part about Jam's earlier concept art is she didn't always have hazel brown eyes....

(Note: Image cropped to save space. Originally posted from https://gear-project.tumblr.com/ )

She has green eyes! Specifically, the same shade as Aerith's~.

Jam and Aerith's birthdays are only a day apart from each other. Aerith's birthday is February 7th while Jam's birthday is February 8th, making them both Aquarius. This further proves both Jam and Aerith are givers, since the symbolism of the Aquarius is a picture showing water being poured heavily from a container(The Water Bearer), giving life, wisdom, etc. to everyone. Aquarius women are typically known to be Independent, eccentric, humanitarian, and free-spirited. This is true for both Aerith and Jam, but let's examine a little deeper on what it says about an Aquarius.

Aquarius Personality (https://labyrinthos.co/blogs/astrology-horoscope-zodiac-signs/the-zodiac-sign-aquarius-symbol-personality-strengths-weaknesses):

One of the most obvious traits of those born under the Aquarius zodiac sign is that they are kind, friendly and generous, though later you may find that they are quite guarded and may choose to keep some emotional distance. Alongside this, they are quite subversive and rebellious - filled with many quirks that make them memorable characters of the zodiac.

Despite their friendly nature, they have a reputation for being outsiders - ones that cooly observe society, while sometimes also feeling detached from the systems that run it. Although they can be quite aloof, they are also deeply concerned with humanitarian causes. Aquarians tend to care very much for the welfare of others and society as a whole. This means as humanitarians, you can usually see them fighting power structures and campaigning against oppression.

With their eccentric nature, Aquarians find connections with others to be very easy to make, and will not find it difficult to meet up with friends or family members that they have not seen or heard from in a long time. Having a real zest for life, Aquarians tend to have a lot of energy and have a great curiosity for new experiences. Being very sociable, they can drift towards groups when working and in their social lives rather than having one or two friends. They like to experience new things, and will always be the first to try something novel.

Aquarians are one of the most friendly and entertaining signs of the zodiac, and thus they can be  fun to spend time with. Their eccentric and empathetic nature leads them to be great advice givers, always happy and excited to help those in need as well as to have a listening ear. They make great friends, and work hard so that more introverted signs can come out of their shells. Their curiosity with the world and energy mean that they are always willing to accompany friends into new adventures, and are always up for the next exciting experience. They are also generous givers, so if you are ever in need, an Aquarian will not hesitate to share whatever they have with you.

When it comes to love and relationships, Aquarians can be great partners - as long as they feel they are not trapped. Because they expect and need their own freedom and privacy, they are also just as giving of that freedom to their partners. They are rarely ever the type to get jealous or nag you repeatedly about something, rather choosing to give you your own time. Because they crave stimulation, they seem sometimes to be drawn to what is mysterious in love and relationships - looking to solve the riddle. Once they do commit however, they tend to be very loyal, the more empathetic and vulnerable side of their characters being open to you.

In love, they desire intellectual stimulation and friendship above all - and in partners they search for those that are not just lovers, but best friends too. A relationship with someone born under the Aquarius zodiac sign can be filled with surprises; their love of life means that yours too will be fun, exciting, and unusual.

Both Jam and Aerith are the same height( 163cm = 5 FT. 4in).

Both Jam and Aerith grew up in harsh, less fortunate environments. Jam lives on the poorer side of China with daily struggles of maintaining a place to live and achieving her dream of being a chef. If you watch GG Revelator 2 of May's Instant Kill, one of Jam's lines is "The lights are off again?" GG Revelator also reveals Jam has experienced tragedy according to Bedman's Instant Kill where Jam says "A black umbrella...? What are you doing here?" In China, a black umbrella symbolizes someone close to you has died.  Meaning Jam did lose someone important to her, it's just hasn't been stated who(my personal guess is a family member).

Aerith also experienced tragedy of losing her parents at a young age. Her father was shot for refusing to give his wife Ifalna(Aerith's mom) and her to Dr.Hojo, so he got shot by Dr.Hojo's henchmen. Ifalna died from her fatal injury and left to be raised by her adopted mother Elmyra. Aerith grew up in The Slums(Sector 5) of Midgar, where criminal activity and danger is common. Aerith and Jam had no help from outsiders or had millions of friends, all they have is themselves to rely on. Yet despite the harshness of their experiences, they maintain a optimistic outlook and happy attitude along being very street-wise.

Although Jam is a martial artist and Aerith is a magic user, there's some similarities with their abilities. They were both even targeted for it by corrupted organizations. Aerith was targeted by Shinra because she's one of the few remaining Cetra, and Jam was targeted by the P.W.A.B(Post-War Administration Bureau) in GGX2 because of her borderline inhuman gift in Ki. I'll show you by providing information on both.

About Cetra(https://finalfantasy.fandom.com/wiki/Cetra):

The migrations of the Cetra were a Planet-reverent pursuit of the fabled Promised Land conducted by traveling and cultivating life. The Cetra could commune with the Planet, an ability regular humans lost once they gave up their close relationship with the Planet in favor of leisure and convenience. The Cetra could guide the flow of the Planet's spiritual energy, this being the means by which they cultivated life on the Planet's surface. According to legends, Ancients could use magic without Materia, and had an advanced magical civilization.

About Ki(https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/ps2/562111-guilty-gear-x2/faqs/21874):

Q. What is magic? What is ki? A. Magic is a source of incredible energy that began to be studied seriously by humans in the 21st century. There are five elements of magic: fire, lightning, water, wind, and ki. The first four are now well understood and can be amplified and controlled, but the use of ki remains unknown. Ki has its origins in the Orient. Testament is known to control some sort of magic, and the wielders of Jinki can also control magic to some extent. Axl too, for some reason, has been observed to use something similar to magic of the fire element. As for ki, some fighting masters of the Orient, such as Jam Kuradoberi, can use it; Kliff Undersn was the first non-Asian to be able to use ki, and now Chipp Zanuff has mastered its use as well.<

Here's another source about Ki in Guilty Gear(https://guilty-gear.fandom.com/wiki/Ki)

Ki is the Japanese on'yomi formatting of the Chinese character Qi/Chi (気 or 氣, pronounced as "chee"), and is one of the five elemental categories of magic. It is the oldest among all magical elements and is also considered the foundation of all magic. It has the ability to amplify the strength and effects of the other four magics. It is also the least understood among scholars of Magical Theory of Science.

In real-life, qi/ki is considered by Asian philosophy to be a type of life force or energy flow that literally often pertains to the atmosphere around oneself.

Jam may not be a special race, but notice how both her and Aerith's abilities relate to magic and spirit energy. This means their gifts symbolize life and spirituality.

Both Jam and Aerith have sadly suffered some "lost in translation" of their personalities. I've already mentioned how the English translation of the older Guilty Gear games had taken away alot of Jam's sweetness and empathy to being replaced with being rude and edgy to be "interesting" to Westerners. You can find my character analysis of Jam here(https://culinaryphoenix.tumblr.com/post/151953570662/character-analysis-of-jam-kuradoberi). Thankfully, the later games like Revelator fixed this. With Aerith, while not as extreme as with Jam, the English translation of Final Fantasy 7 took away some of her sweetness to focus more on her spunky side for the same reason; cause it's more "interesting" to Westerners. I'll show you a comparison of Aerith's dialogue when her and Cloud meet again with Reno and some Shinra henchmen arriving there.

English Version ---------------

Aerith: "Don't fight here! You'll ruin the flowers!"

Japanese Version ----------------

Aerith: "Please, no fighting here! You'll ruin the flowers!"

Cloud and Aerith quickly retreat to the back section of the church by going up the stairs. The platform is broken in half with Cloud jumping first then tells Aerith to follow. She immediately shakes her head in refusal. Let's compare the dialogue again.

English Version --------------

Cloud: *nods* "Alright, I'll hold them off."

Aerith: "Right. Make sure they don't get through!"

Japanese Version -----------------

Cloud: *Nods* "You'll be alright. I'll catch you."

Aerith: "Alright. Please make sure you catch me."

Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oGt8ua68xAM

The original context of the scene is totally different from the English version. Not only you see how while Aerith is spunky, she's also very polite. It also reveals her shaking her head was because she was scared of falling. Unlike the English version where it gives the impression she simply refused to jump and be like "I'm not listening to you! Go fight those henchmen!" Lol. Jam and Aerith can easily take care of themselves and have great emotional strength, especially from their experiences. At the same time, they're still people that show moments of being vulnerable and having a great need to be cared for, protected, etc. Which leads to the next part what they have in common; the traits of their love interests.

Aerith is in love with Cloud and Jam is in love with Ky. It's interesting how both Ky and Cloud are handsome men with blonde hair, radiant blue eyes, has blue as their main color, both are skilled swordsman and extremely strong, and both were in the military at a young age(Cloud in SOLDIER and Ky in Sacred Order of Holy Knights). They even have the same blood type(Both Cloud and Ky's blood type are AB)! Both men willingly take on the weight of the world upon their shoulders because they know others, especially their friends and loved ones are depending on them. They're protective over those they care for and go out of their way to make sure they're safe, cared for, etc. This is extremely important and special to Aerith and Jam because it's something they both want and need in their lives. Remember both these women's upbringing and how it's usually them having to be strong and do everything on their own, but now they meet these men are willing to do the same for them out of genuine care. This is the main reason why the two women are so in love with the two men. Let's look at the evidence starting with Aerith.

Note: Final Fantasy 7: DISMANTLED is an official Japanese book that tells the events through each character's personal monologue.

Aerith's Monologue in the Shinra building(https://www.finalfantasyforums.net/threads/vii-dismantled-book.43606/page-2) Aerith: *being excited now* Aerith: Cloud, you came! When I got to the Shinra Building I was handed over to a man called Hojo, I couldn’t help thinking that I won’t be able to escape anymore. I don’t know why but that man gave me the shivers. The way he looked at me was like measuring a piece of experimental specimen…. In short, he wanted a hybrid from Red XIII and….oh forget it, I don’t want to talk about it. Anyway, Professor Hojo is absolutely a weirdo! Although Red told me that “the acting was to throw Hojo off guard”, but he seemed quite serious at that moment. He does look like a savage beast, however, he is more human than most of mankind. Like what he tried to convey, we should cherish this Planet. It’s just…I can also feel the excessive strain— he seems to push himself too hard. And Cloud really is a hero! To Tifa, and to me as well, he’ll come wherever we’re in a pinch! Well, as for the one-date payment, I think I should make it two! Aerith gleefully enjoys and comments on how Cloud is a knight-in-shining armor to both her and Tifa. This increases her attraction and deepen her feelings for Cloud. This is also proof that Aerith knows the real him very early because notice how she says "Cloud really is a hero!" She knows this trait is truly part of Cloud and not something he's just pretending to be or copying from Zack. This leaves a strong impression on her because when her, Cloud, and the others finally are about to leave Midgar, Aerith admits it's her first time leaving. Cloud asks if she's worried, which at first she claims it's only a little then later admits she's worried alot. Instead of saying, "I'll be alright, though. I've dealt with worse." Aerith says... "But I have my bodyguard, right?" There's also the part when Barrett mentions of needing to assign an official leader for the team, Aerith automatically says "It should be Cloud." Once again, Aerith knows and sees Cloud's qualities not only as a person, but also a leader. She has so much faith in him and continues to do so throughout the game. She feels safe, deeply cared for, and happy with Cloud. With how much time they spent together(in-game time wise, it's likely a few months with all the traveling, etc.), Aerith realizes Cloud is the one for her. Next, is looking at the evidence with Jam. In the 3rd path of Jam's story in Guilty Gear X2, she later finally finds the one responsible behind the attack at her restaurant; Robo-Ky. Below is the dialogue from the original translation. Jam's Story Path 3(https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/ps2/562111-guilty-gear-x2/faqs/20666) Jam: You hiding over there... I see you! Robo Ky: Gigigi... you found me. Jam: Did you come to get beat up again? Robo Ky: Target's battle power has been analyzed. Robo Ky: Group attack... Robo Ky: ...would be most effective. Jam: Aiya! How many of them are there?! Jam: They're coming from all sides! (vs. Robo Ky) (vs. Robo Ky) (vs. Robo Ky) Robo Ky: Gigigi... Jam: Th-there's no end to them! Even though the gameplay shows needing to fight the Robo-Kys only three times, it's conveying Jam has been fighting an army of them for countless hours on her own. She's in great danger cause she's eventually going to get worn out and more Robo-Kys keep blocking her way. But then... Robo Ky: Gigigi... Give it up! Robo Ky: Everyone present! Robo Ky: Present! Robo Ky: Present! Jam: There's all of these?!Ky: That's it! Jam: A new one?! Ky: You're mistaken. I've come to save you. Jam: You're... from that time... Ky: I'm sorry I came late. Ky: Please leave these to me. Jam: Okay! Just like with Aerith, this leaves a very strong impression on Jam for many reasons. She didn't expect any help, especially from the man she thought she would never see again. She's exposed to how Ky's the type of person to go out of his way to save her and other people. She spends time with him for a while and getting to know just how caring, responsible, and noble is. This causes the result of her attraction and feelings for him deepens. She has her heart set on Ky.  Both Jam and Aerith are highly perceptive and give great wisdom than people think, which their detractors quickly label them being "insensitive" cause they totally miss the context. With Jam, I already gave an example with Haeyun in Revelator from my character analysis I linked to earlier. She also gave provided the same to Jack-O, whom spurred her to realize her purpose and place in the world. With Aerith, the notion of her being "insensitive" has even been stated as fact according to Final Fantasy 7 Wikia and some fans think this is her character flaw. Aerith's Personality from FF7 Wikia(https://finalfantasy.fandom.com/wiki/Aerith_Gainsborough) Though she means well, Aerith can be insensitive to other people's problems, like when Barret is troubled in the Gold Saucer. I'll post and highlight the parts people are focused on. Aerith: "Hey, Barret! Cheer up!" Barret: "I'm not in a cheery mood. Just leave me alone." Aerith: "Really? That's too bad." *goes to Cloud and says* "Let's go" To get the full context, there's a video below that leads up to the group arriving at the Gold Saucer. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JS9JfjixzAI&list=PL85002125B482FF1B&index=34 Around 1:43 of the video, notice Aerith is the first one to ask what happened followed by Cloud. When Barret tells the group how his hometown isn't what it used to be. Aerith says, "But how could those people say such awful things?" with her hands on her hips in disgust. She definitely didn't like how the townspeople treated Barret. After he explained what happened and why he says it's all his fault, Aerith gives sympathetic silence. Red XIII does the same, Cloud is disgusted of what Shinra did to Barret's home and people, and Tifa tries to console Barret saying it wasn't his fault. But Yuffie says... Yuffie: "I'm not sympathizing with Barret! He shouldn't have trusted Shinra." Even though Yuffie has a point of he shouldn't have trusted Shinra, Barret didn't know at the time. She just plainly ignore how the townspeople and Barret's wife died along with the town itself burned to almost nothingness. So she's basically like, "Welp, that's what you get for being a dummy!" This is the very definition of being insensitive and not caring about people's problems. It's interesting how people ignore this yet claim Aerith is the wicked witch of the west all because she tells Barret to "cheer up" and "Really? That's too bad." lol. Below is the full context of the scene, which I'm using a better translation and not the given English one. Aerith: "Wow! Let's have fun!"  *Feels excited then turns to look at Barret from a distance* "I know it's not the right time to do this, but..." "Hey, Barret, cheer up!" Barret: "I'm not in a cheery mood. Just leave me alone."   Aerith: "Really? That's too bad." Tifa: *Whispers* "Aerith, doesn't that seem a little inconsiderate...?" Aerith: *Whispers back* "When situations like this happens, it's best not to push the issue too much." Tifa: *Whispers* "Really?" Aerith: *whispers* "Mm hmm~" *Aerith goes over to Barret again* Aerith: "We're gonna go play..." Barret: *blows up* "THEN PLAY! Mess around *curses*! Don't forget we're after Sephiroth!" *Angrily jumps inside Wonder Square* Aerith: "Oh, he's mad..." Tifa: "He'll be fine. He seems to be doing a little better now." Aerith's intention was to try to get Barret's mind off of his emotional pain by being playful and lighthearted. After seeing his reaction, Aerith decides to give him some space, though she did later wanted to let him know she and the others were going to enjoy the sights of the Gold Saucer. What Aerith explained to Tifa is some people just need time to sort out their problems on their own instead of forcing the person to. In the end, it started to work cause Barret started to jump in one of the attractions instead of standing alone and being silent. She has also given wisdom and compassion to Cloud many times when he would doubt or blame himself. WHY AERITH AND JAM ARE SO POPULAR IN THE EAST MORE THAN WEST ============================================================ There will always be fans who dislike these characters regardless, and there are Western fans who do like them(like myself). With Aerith, you could easily say it's because she's the main female character and vital to the plot of FF7. But with Jam, she's sadly just a supporting character cause in Guilty Gear, May and Millia Rage are the main female characters. Yet, she's so popular in Japan there was an anime called Genshiken where a character cosplayed as her.

The main reason both women are very beloved in the East both have traits of a leading lady. Their hardworking, determination, and free-spirit towards their goals and dreams make them admirable. Their outward display of emotions and not afraid to be express their romantic interest towards the men they love(devotion is a highly good trait in the East). Their femininity and how their strength is how they deal with life's trials and tribulations rather than strictly about their superpowers, etc. Both of their experiences are relatable to many along with their optimistic nature and playfulness, even their flaws makes them endearing and humane. I would call this type of leading lady "The Cheerful Optimist". Tifa and Dizzy also have traits of a leading lady, which the type I would call "The Strong, yet Gentle" type(going into detail about this would require another post, but wanted to give them an honorable mention~).

This also explain why I love these characters so much, especially how they easily disprove the notion that female characters can only be amazing if they completely abandon their femininity, viciously degrade men to "put them in their place", be Mary-Sues(meaning absolutely perfect with no humane and notable flaws), etc. I think people underestimate how much emotional strength it takes to remain positive and being inspirational to others when life and people have treated them horribly. It's a shame that instead of seeing the depth of these characters, it's easier for people to just label them as "weak, insensitive jerks, etc." But thankfully, me and other fans who do take the time to understand Aerith and Jam know how they are.

Happy early birthday to both Aerith Gainsborough and Jam Kuradoberi~

[hellzyeahwebwieldingreviews]

Untold Tales of Spider-Man 06: The Doctor’s Dilemma – by Danny Fingeroth

An unexpected gem!

Dr. Bromwell grabs Peter by the arm and tells him he must talk to him about "his double life." But Bromwell hasn't stumbled on Pete's secret identity. He's talking about the dangers Pete gets into as a Daily Bugle photographer. He asks Peter, for May's sake, to give up the job. Although Peter has worried about the dangers himself, he stiffs Bromwell, saying "I'd appreciate it if you'd mind your own business, Doctor." Regretting every word, Peter goes into an unfair critique of Bromwell and a defense of his photography work. Taken aback, Bromwell gives Pete a new prescription for May and heads toward the door. Peter calls him back and apologizes. He tells him he has considered the dangers but still thinks the reward is worth the risk. Once Bromwell leaves, Peter changes to Spider-Man, eventually web-swinging to the pharmacy to fill May's prescription.

Back at his office, Bromwell can't stop thinking about Peter. Suddenly, he gets a brainstorm. He wants to give Peter a job in the sciences instead. First he goes to Metro Hospital and talks to Dr. Gordon, who saved May's life after Spider-Man brought in the needed ISO-36 (in Amazing Spider-Man #33, February 1966). Gordon reveals that, shortly after Spidey left, a beaten and bruised Peter appeared. Bromwell doesn't know what kind of deal Peter has with Spider-Man but he suspects the web-slinger is taking advantage of him.

Out web-slinging, Spidey comes upon "an eight-foot tall, four-foot wide gent in the green spandex suit" who is trashing an armored car. He is also "amazingly fast and as strong as the Hulk." When Spidey asks for a name, the giant comes up with "Impact," revealing that he volunteered for an experiment involving radioactive steroids (a combination just asking for trouble) for which he never got paid. Now paying himself in his own way, Impact slams Spidey against a wall and escapes.

The next day, Bromwell makes a house call and finds Peter all battered and bruised. He offers Pete a job in his own office helping with his research and lab work. Peter accepts. Aunt May overhears this conversation and is wracked with guilt for letting Peter risk his life taking pictures simply because they desperately needed the money.

So, Peter goes to work for Bromwell. There he researches steroids and finds out that Impact is Walter Cobb, a family man whose mind was warped by the experiment. As the days go by, Peter works at Bromwell's office, just missing catching up to Impact at his various crime scenes. Finally, Bromwell is called to the ER to help treat some victims of Impact's latest assault. As he leaves, Bromwell asks Peter to not go out for news photos. But Peter has to go out to stop Impact. Arriving at the scene,he finds Impact holding two hostages. The police bring out Impact's wife and kids to plead with him. It appears to work, with Impact releasing his hostages. Peter starts imagining a day when his work with Bromwell will lead to greater things than his web-swinging. Then a shot rings out and Impact goes on the rampage again. Spidey tries to calm him but he is too far gone. After pounding on the wall-crawler for a bit, Impact collapses. Bromwell is on the scene and pronounces the giant dead. As Spidey swings home, he reflects on it all. "Bromwell tells me that I should think about my aunt – like I don't do that enough. Impact shows me that there's a right way and a wrong way to try to help those you love. All these lessons! But...what am I supposed to learn from them? Where's the curriculum? Where's the syllabus?"

A great ending, right? But, oops, there's more! On his way home, Peter realizes that he could be as dead as Impact and decides to give up the webs. But at dinner, Aunt May tells him to keep doing what he's doing if it's what he wants to do. The next day, Bromwell waves the Daily Bugle at Peter, indicating the front page photo Pete took, and tells him he let him down, abandoning his lab work for the very work he begged him to avoid. He tells Peter that he has done all he can and that he's letting him go from his job. Pete can tell that Bromwell is hoping he will ask for another chance but Peter doesn't. He has come to completely understand that he does not become Spidey for thrills but to help people and that Uncle Ben and Aunt May would approve if they knew. Or, as he puts it, "Love the power. Guess I'll just have to live with the responsibility."

Had you told me that a Spidey story (and a prose story at that) about Doc Bromwell witten by Danny Fingeroth was going to be cracking I’d have never believed you.

Fingeroth’s body of Spidey work is a mixed bag to put it kindly. This is the man who wrote arguably the single best page of Mary Jane ever in Web of Spider-Man #6, eloquently summing up her emotional conflict regarding her romantic feelings for Spidey. But this is also the man who editorially mandated the creation of Maximum Carnage.

And yet here he doesn’t make a single misstep.

Okay that isn’t exactly true. His opening narration makes Peter sounds like a goddam psychopath. “Love the power. Hate the responsibility.” Er….that’s not exactly true, Peter has moments of enjoyment of his power and frustrations over the burdens it places upon him. But he doesn’t truly revel in his power and typically treats his responsibilities as simply something that HAS to be done moreso than something he resents doing. But that’s nothing compared to “…to take what I need. And to make anybody who gets in my way real sorry they got there.”

WTF dude! I was half expecting that the twist here was going to be that this wasn’t Peter speaking but it was. Fingeroth nicely bookends these sentiments by the end of the story but that doesn’t change the fact those sentiments shouldn’t be there in the first place.

You can maybe just handwave this as Peter being in a really bad mood and not believing what he is thinking. But I dunno, I suspect the real intent here was to clumsily set up something to BE bookended by the end of the story and more poignantly to smack the readers in the face with the central theme of the story. This lack of subtly rears its head again towards the end of the story when Fingeroth seriously spells out for us that Impact is a dark reflection of Spider-Man and the exact ways how. Everything the dialogue says is correct and Impact is actually a very good reflection of Spidey. But couldn’t Fingeroth have been a tad more subtle about it?

But other than that this story unto itself is pretty much flawless. I say unto itself because through no fault of Fingeroth the story’s placement withint he anthology is kind of weird. It clearly takes place after ASM #33 as there are very direct references and fallout from the Master Planner Trilogy. However the nature of the story also makes it highly unlikely to take place after ASM #39 because in that issue Peter is shaken by Bromwell informing him of just how frail Aunt May is. He pretty much tells Peter that if May learns his secret she will keel over dead. So this happens between ASM #33 and #39 but the Looter story clearly happens after ASM #36. Whilst far from inconceivable that this story could happen afterwards, because the last story with the Goblin was obviously tipping the hat to ASM #39-40 this story would’ve been better placed just before the Looter story. As is it’s oddly the THIRD story in this book to take place in this extremely small and specific gap of time after ASM #36 but before ASM #39.

Enough of the nitpicks though. I said this story was a gem and I stand by that.

What pleasantly surprised me most about this story was that Fingeroth seemed to be able to handle the prose format better than every other writer thus far sans perhaps DeFalco.

He wisely knows to emphasis the inner conflicts within the characters’ heads and play up the soap opera rather than leaning in on the action setpieces.

And yet there are two significant action set pieces in this story. Indeed the crux of the whole story REVOLVES around the physical danger Peter puts himself in by going into action. Fingeroth handled these deftly. The action wasn’t over explained and painted a clear picture in your head but didn’t linger too much. Sure you might feel things would be more interesting if you could actually see things but you aren’t drifting off as the writer belabors the combination of punches and kicks Spidey lands. It’s all very streamlined and designed to support the emotional arc of the story as opposed to the action being the point unto itself or simply the means to REACH a conclusion.

In this regard Fingeroth actually edges out DeFalco. Reading/listening through DeFalco’s story the action scenes can just be boiled down to Spidey fights some thugs, drags out the fight for pictures and then one them accidentally dies the specifics don’t matter even though we do get them.

Here Fingeroth forgoes the specifics to simply give you the broad beats to the fight (Impact throws a car, Spidey webs people to safety, etc) whilst ensuring he returns to Spidey’s inner thoughts and peppering in dialogue that is moving the plot and exploring the themes, even if it is simply lightly.

In a way this is a rare example of an action set piece that works BETTER in prose than it would visually. Sure Mark Bagley or Ron Frenz could embellish the fight scene to make it look cool, but the visions of a possible future Peter imagines are more potent and organic when we simply read his train of thought like this. Were it a comic such dialogue would come off as excessive or (if communicated through art) needlessly existential. Additionally as a villain goes Impact is fairly generic, but having him not have any visual presence mitigates that because his importance is more about what he is doing and why than having a dynamic appearance.

To go back to Bromwell, he’s developed more here than he’s been in over 55 years of Spider-History. Were he written like this in his appearances he might’ve become a more beloved character. What’s great is how organic his personality feels. We learn new stuff about him but it feels like a totally logical extrapolation of what little we saw of him in the 1960s. He is a quintessential doctor and Fingeroth lends him a surprising amount of nuance. He isn’t endlessly caring, he has his limits but even so the fact that he wanted Peter to ask him for a second chance at the end was a brilliant touch. It’s a small moment but it helps make Bromwell feel more multidimensional.

And because of this characterization the story earns the pathos of Peter letting him down. You feel sad for Bromwell and for Peter that things didn’t work out for both of them.

Aunt May is also done very well here. She is in typical Aunt May mode but Fingeroth chooses to make that the central conflict of the story rather than a background element. Refreshingly though the issue isn’t that May is on her deathbed, but rather the impact (if you pardon the pun) upon her if anything happens to Peter.  The story is almost a spiritual cousin to JMS’ opus ‘the Conversation’ in that it comes to a reasonable and positive resolution.

What in particular what holds this all together is the brilliant (yet rarely used) idea of treating Peter’s cover story as Spidey’s photographer as a metaphor for him being Spider-Man. It’s something that’s pretty clever when you think about it because the cover story means his loved ones go into relationships with him knowing he takes risks and potentially endangers them, just as if they knew he was Spidey.

Through treating the cover story as a metaphor Fingeroth is able to have Peter get a lot of feelings about being Spidey off of his chest. This chiefly comes in the form of his bookeneded confrontations with Bromwell, his angry (and highly unjustified) outburst at the start and his quiet resigned acceptance at the end.

Perhaps the best bi of narration in relation to Peter’s character was when Fingeroth spelled out that Peter might enjoy being Spidey but even if he didn’t he’d do it anyway because he was hooked on helping people. It eloquently emphasis the innate heroism and core of the character. And it does so in a nuanced way too as too often writers have Peter outright hate being Spider-Man or else cynically lean on the idea he’s a thrill junkie of some kind. Fingeroth gets that peter DOES like his work but that isn’t the reason he does it.

Nuance is actually the key word here. There is a lovely sequence where the story acknowledges that Peter might subconsciously be avoiding Impact out of a loss of confidence. It plays very realistically. How often in life has one bad moment shaken us up and made us hesitant to do things we previously did without even thinking about it.

Really I don’t know what else to say about this story that isn’t self-evident by just experiencing it for yourself.

Tiny issues aside it’s really quite excellent and highly recommended.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #222

“hold your breath, my dear, we’re going under.”

Have you ever kicked a vending machine? No. Have you ever stayed online for a long time waiting for someone? Ha ha, yeah... I did that for Mini a lot when I was younger. Would you survive in prison? I can almost guarantee I'd find a way to kill myself, no. What is your favorite condiment to go with french fries? Probably ketchup. What do you have a habit of doing when engaging in a conversation with someone? Obsess over if I'm making eye contact correctly. Like the WHOLE time I will be thinking about it. Have you ever lost a pet in a tragic way? How did you cope? I had a lot of childhood cats run over, and that was always hard to see. As for coping, I just... did. What else do you do. Do you have a favorite classical composer? No. Mini skirts, slutty or stylish? Um, what you wear doesn't determine whether or not you're "slutty." They don't bother me. Do you like a partner who is clean cut or rugged? A mix. Pale or tan, which would you rather be? I like pale skin, I just don't like the texture of mine. The negative of pale skin is the fact you can see flaws more clearly. Is walking cats strange? (like walking dogs) No. What about kids on leashes? What do you think about that? That shit is wild. Teach your children better, or keep them in your sights at all times if they have some kind of condition that makes it challenging to teach them properly. How many piercings have you had, BESIDES ears, no one cares. Two. New tats in your near future? Whenever I myself have the money, my next tattoo appointment will be to enhance my Mark tribute one to better the galaxy texture. I love the guy who's done my tats so far, but there are better out there, and I don't feel he achieved my vision. This tattoo is WILD important to me; it has to be perfect. After that, a "new" tattoo probably won't happen until I have a job or I'm gifted money. How about piercings or re-piercings? "In the near future" is the criteria I'm guessing is still relevant? It depends on how quickly I lose enough weight for my collarbones to be clearly prominent to get dermals. I've been fucking stagnated for a year, though, so I don't know when the hell that's happening... Who would you like to hang out with? There's a lot of old friends and acquaintances that fit this. Next new thing you are wanting to try! Idk. Some sort of job I can actually accomplish. Would you ever visit a psychic medium? Definitely not; I don't believe they're legit. Are some days a waste of makeup? Um so idk if you know, author, but people wear makeup for their own satisfaction. If it makes you feel beautiful, then hell no it's not a waste. Do you watch any beauty gurus on YouTube? Okay I fucking adore Jeffree Star y'all. He's a goddamn Mood and inspirational as ALL hell in terms of his determination, work ethic, and open-mindedness. I watch everything he uploads ever, even though I'm not really interested in makeup. It's cool to watch though; it's an art to me. Do you have a PillowPet? No, but omfg. One of my favorite Christmas memories ever is the night my niece, when she was around two or so, was given one (or something like it?) the night before, we turned the lights out, and lit it up so the colorful stars were all over the room. She was absolutely marveling over it. That was the same night my sister revealed she was pregnant with my nephew, actually. That was a great night. Actually felt like a family. Do you have sleep paralysis? Thank FUCK no. Have you ever wanted an ex back, but found out they were dating someone? I've talked about Jason and Ashley before. God that was a bad. Bad. Fuck-ing. Time. Do you like Placebo? I don't listen to them. Has anyone ever carried you to bed? I mean as a kid, yeah. Idr as a teenager or adult. Would you rather have a wiener dog or an Italian greyhound? The greyhound. Dachshunds are precious, but as of semi-recently, I'm personally against breeding pets with damaging/unhealthy traits, and dachshunds are very susceptible to spine issues. Idk if greyhounds have any issues like that. Do your parents buy you most anything you want? Bitch we poor, no. What is the next craft you are going to make? Probably something for Sara for some special event. I don't think that's much of a spoiler, so I don't mind sharing it. Do you learn choreography easily? I was decent when I was a dance student, but no, I can promise you no. My memory is laughable. If you had to choose, would you rather be taller or shorter? Taller, I guess? Idk. Do you believe that Jesus will come back in your lifetime? No, I don't believe he ever will. What color is your winter coat? ... Shit dude, idr. Idk if I even have one, actually. What’s your favorite candy to receive on Halloween? Gimme all ur Reese's cups. Have you ever spent your birthday alone? No. Have you ever had a themed b-day party? I'm sure I did as a kid. Were you afraid of heights as a child? No. I am now tho. Which dollar store is your favorite? Here, Dollar Generals are everywhere and generally the preferred one, I believe. What food gives you diarrhea? Totally serious, most exceptionally "fancy" foods; by that, I assume things with lots of intricate spices and other ingredients. At least severe gas pains are almost guaranteed when I eat out somewhere. Have you ever had a lead role in a play? No. Ha ha man, I remember as an elementary school student though, we had a play where I SO wanted to be Snow White. What is the most fascinating part of nature? Evolution. I don't know how I once didn't believe in it. Would you ever go vegetarian? I am serious about returning to vegetarianism when/if I get to a weight I'm satisfied with (losing weight w/o meat is more difficult than with, particularly for an extremely picky eater). I wish I could be a total vegan, but I know I'm not capable of that. Once you actually learn about slaughterhouses and farm life... no. What berry is your favorite? STRAW!!!!!!!BERRIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What is your dream house? Something in the woods with a nice yard/outdoor decor, flowers, wildlife... What was the reason in you crying last? PTSD. Are there any movies in the theater that you’d like to see? The new IT and Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. What do you think of Coca Cola? It's my third-fave soda. What about polar bears? Gorgeous animals. I will R I O T if they go extinct. My best friend(s) are/is... Sara. When do you want to have your first kid? Never. I am faaar from cut out to be a mother. Which stovetop burner do you use the most? I don't cook, so. The times I've made eggs, uh... I think I use the bottom right? Do you use a dishwasher or wash dishes by hand? Ugh, we don't have one. What year did you graduate high school? 2014. Do you carry pepper spray? No, but I should with how paranoid I am. What is your favorite gas station? Sheetz is the way to go down here. What have been some of your best garage sale finds? *shrugs* Idr the last time I went to one. Ever worked two jobs or more at once? Hell no. I wouldn't survive. How often do you check your email? Every day, mainly for school. What would you do if your ex came to you crying? It would depend on who. "The" ex, I don't give a fuck how I feel about him, he's getting a tight-ass hug because seeing him cry is awful, and I will always care about him to a certain degree. Well actually, I'd ask him before hugging; I don't know if he'd be fine with me touching him. Girt would get a big 'ole hug for sure. Juan, Tyler, and Aaron I'd ask if they wanted a hug. I'd definitely ask any of them if they wanted to talk/vent to me about whatever is wrong; I can't stand seeing people cry. What school do you go to, what grade? I'm a super late freshman in college. How do you feel about school? It's been a drastic change in my daily life and thus has caused stress, but nevertheless I'm ecstatic to be back because I'm actually making progress towards going somewhere. Are you still a virgin? So I know it sounds like it makes NO sense w/o details, but seriously, I don't know. We had "cheaty" ways to just barely skirt around it because at the time I was abstinent, but pretty sure at some point it became sex. Do you eat chips or crackers more? Man, I haven't had chips in a loooong time... though I love them, man. We have crackers at the house usually, and I snack on them occasionally. Is your bed next to a wall? Who doesn't have their bed against at least one?? Is your bed next to a window? There's one beside me against the wall. Do you have neat handwriting? I think so. The only thing I don't like is I write SOOOOOOOOOO slow. Would you rather be a singer or a dancer? Dancer. Would you rather be a musician or a painter? Painter. What did your hair look like in high school? Long and normally brown, but sometimes I dyed it black with colored highlights. Favorite flavor of hot chocolate? Normal?? What is your top priority in life? My happiness, probably. Have you ever made a gingerbread house? Yeah. Sucky ones, but they were gingerbread houses, lol. Do you prefer candy corn or conversation hearts? EW both are gross. Skeletons or scarecrows? I'll see you in the Skeleton War, fuckers. Who was the last non-relative woman you spoke to in person? My Writing teacher. What’s a topic you’ve drastically changed your opinion on? I did a TOTAL 180 on LGBT rights, and my former, intense pro-life stance has altered quite a lot to mostly pro-choice. What’s an achievement you hope to see humanity accomplish in your lifetime? Man, a lot... A total ban from plastic and finding an alternative for it would be great, as well as the cure of cancer and H.I.V. Make gay marriage legal worldwide. Make great progress on cleaning the oceans. I could go on and on. Do you know anyone who has a PhD? As far as personally, possibly. Like, obviously my doctors do. How do you feel when you’re the center of attention? *buys that red button that says "no" in various fashions solely for this occasion* Are you and your S/O Facebook official? She doesn't have a FB, but mine does say "in a relationship." Do you know anyone who works as a lawyer? Not that I know well anymore; a former best friend is in the process of becoming one, though. So proud of her. Which would bother you more: being told you’re not likable or being told you’re not sensible? Being told I'm not likable would really hurt. How many bedrooms does your house have? Two. Have you ever had a dream in which you died? Yeah. Does the thought of having wrinkles when you’re older upset you? Not really. Everyone gets them. Do you use Snapchat? No. Do you know anyone who’s struggling with addiction? Yes. What was your first job? And how long did you work there? I was a sales associate at GameStop. I was employed for like two months, but I worked very few days before I crumbled. Where is the last place you were other then where you are right now? School. How do you feel about the last person you kissed? I adore her. Lol, Lawl, Rotfl, Lmao, or Lmfao? (Which you use most) Lmao or lol. Have you/Do you know anyone that grows weed? Not knowingly to me. Do you really care about name brands? Not just for the sake of being a certain name; I do, however, care about the quality of brands, of course, such as taste for foods or being comfortable in clothes. Describe your favorite pair of jeans to me please. I don't have any. When I was actually slim though, I had a pair of maroon skinny jeans with a black dappling texture, and there were holes in them where the fabric was just black, and I loooooved them. Those and my leather boots was A Look. To wash in the shower, do you use a loofa? That's not the technical name for what I use according to Mom when I've called them that, but rather a body sponge or something like that, but it's like the same thing. Have you ever ridden on a horse? Yes, though not at a gallop or anything "real." Just at things like school fairs. Are you polite? I think I'm very polite, honestly. Do you prefer bright or muted colors? Bright, usually. Can you roll your tongue? I used to be able to after practicing all day once with a friend ha ha, but I haven't been able to for a long time. Definitely can't now with snake eyes. Are you a light weight when it comes to alcohol? No, apparently. Which accents can you emulate pretty well? British and country. How loud do you listen to music? Too loud, I know. Are you more awkward talking to people in real life or online? JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, real life. I don't think I'm half bad online. Do you bruise easily? So easily that I was tested for anemia or whatever it's called where you bleed easily (the test was negative, thankfully). Despite feeling bruised, though, I usually don't have an actual mark. Have you ever bought pre-ripped jeans? All my jeans were. I hate plain, boring jeans. What are you most likely to spend money on? Tattoos, lol... I genuinely think I'm good with money, I feel because of the financial position I've grown up and lived in, although I have never had a stable source of income, so it's hard to really determine that yet. I'm quite sure I'll be fine, but I really do hope I handle my money well when I do and don't invest all my spendable (as in, not money that I'm saving for emergencies) money into just tats. Have you ever been a complete fangirl/fanboy over anything? Welcome to my life, lol. I'm at an age where it's starting to get embarrassing, but. Idk how to change it. What’s the weirdest way you’ve ever heard somebody die of? *shrug* When was the last time you (dis)liked someone without really knowing them? I dunno. I try to not do that. When was the last time you wore a mask? What did it look like? Hell if I remember. I don't even remember wearing any on Halloween as a child. What comes up on your recommended list on YouTube? Mainly let's plays or music. Have you ever had a controlling boyfriend/girlfriend? Hell no, that wouldn't last long. How many true heart breaks have you had in your lifetime? One. Do you have any gay family members? My mom has a gay cousin. Who was the last person to sleep over at your house? Sara. Would you ever get a boob job? No; I don't care enough about them too. I wish they were smaller. I liked mine when I was a healthy weight, so, let's get back to that size, please. What would you think if you found out your ex was gay? Aaron, I think he actually is. Juan, trust me, he's not. Jason couldn't convince me he was gay even if he tried. I very highly doubt he'd be bi/pan, either. Girt, I would be surprised, but not like, immensely. I don't have a clue about Tyler and if he has any gay tendencies/history. Would you ever take someone back if you found out they cheated on you? NO SIR-REE. Do people ever compliment your eyes? Yeah. Would you be upset if you caught your boyfriend looking at porn? I don't know. I used to feel REALLY strongly about porn just being a big 'ole fucking nope, but whatever man, we're sexual animals. Better you take care of urges yourself rather than, you know, raping someone or something. If I personally caught my s/o doing it, idk how I'd feel, but knowing me and my self-esteem, I'd feel I'd probably jump to the whole (if we were serious) "um hi I'm your fckng gf what am I not enough" thought path. I don't think I'd be livid, though. Ask the old Britt, and we would've broken up there, probably. Who’s the last person that hung up on you? *shrug* Do you have a common first name? Yeah. Have you ever been engaged? No. Do you have any tattoos on your arms? Four, currently. They're gonna be covered one day. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else’s property? No. Have you ever been punched? No. What do you usually order from Olive Garden? I will, without fail, get the spicy shrimp fritas and be the happiest human being on Earth. How do you feel about bats? I absolutely adore them. Do you get excited when you learn you have to dress up? Quite the opposite, actually. What brand of hair spray do you use? I don't use it. Do you like it when guys wear hats? I have zero opinion on this. Burger King, McDonald's, or Wendy's? I prefer Wendy's. If you type for awhile, do your fingers start to hurt? No. Are you the type of person who would study for a test for hours? No, I'm not. I generally don't even have to like, intensely study; I tend to learn upon reading things, or in like math, performing the actions just a couple times. "Studying" doesn't tend to work for me; if it gets to that point, it probably won't stick, regardless of how many times I try. Are you a lazy person? I hate admitting just how lazy I am. But I mean again, it also depends on what is at stakes. Does your house have a doorbell? Yes, though I actually don't know if the doorbell works... Favorite album? Ozzy Osbourne's Black Rain. Favorite farm animal? PIGS! Has your Facebook ever been hacked? No. Do you spell gray with an A or an E? I use the American spelling ("gray"). Would you rather get money or gift cards for your birthday? I would be perfectly and entirely happy with purely money for my birthday, because that equals tattoos, lmao. Have you ever spoken to a detective before? No. Have you ever played laser tag? Once on a double-date with Jason and our old roommates/friends. Do you ever share things on Facebook? Almost all I do are share things I support, find funny, find as inspirational or cute, stuff like that. I can confidently say the majority of people I even have as "friends" on there do not care that much about my personal life. Is anyone you’re close to in the hospital right now? I mean, define "close." My grandmother's going through chemo, but we're not like... my definition of particularly "close," though she's close-ish family, so idk. Is your Wifi protected? Of course. What did you have for lunch today? I didn't eat lunch. How often do people write on your Facebook wall? On my birthday, lmao. Does your phone have a cover on it? No. I'd say I want one, but way more than that, I want a new phone. Mine is godawful. What color was your swim suit this year? I mean my most recently-worn is black, but I think it'd probably be too big for me now. I haven't swam in a long time. Do ladders scare you? Yes. Do you have any pictures of you and your friends in your bedroom? No. How do you eat Oreos? I'm one of those people that breaks the cookie to eat the cream first. Who or what sleeps with you? My cat Roman. Do you know anyone with the same name as you? Yes, but spelled differently. Are you pro-life or pro-choice? Honestly, it's become almost embarrassing to say I was ever pro-life. I'm vehemently pro-choice now. What color LED is the display in your car? Okay so Mom's has a rainbow of options, but I think it's currently stuck on... purple? I think? How am I unsure???? I'm in it every day?????????? Who was your first kiss with? Jason, my first "real" boyfriend. What kind of milk do you drink? I'll drink anywhere between skim to whole milk, but I'm not really a fan of skim despite having grown up with it. What aren’t you afraid to stand up for? I'd stand up for gay rights if it killed me. Do you know anybody in the military? Loosely. What was the last hotel you stayed at? I don't have the slightest clue. Do you have any STDs? No. What’s your preferred salad dressing? YO the Olive Garden dressing is b o m b. Do you have a favorite NASCAR driver? No. Who’s your celebrity crush? I'm almost 24 years old ha ha ha hahaha I'm too old for a celebrity crush aha hahaa haa aahha ah hahaaaaaaaaaaaaa- What color is your fridge? Black. Do you know the metric system well enough to live in Canada? No, admittedly. What was the biggest bruise you’ve ever had? Tell me the place (on your body) and the story of it! Idr. If you have Etsy account - show the very last item you added to the favorites. If not - either skip or just visit Etsy and find one thing you like: I think I have one, but I don't use it. I don't feel like looking. What would you do if you knew that you will be single to your very death (even if you’re in a relationship now)? Nothing would change...? My relationship status doesn't alter my goals and such. Are there any exchange students at your school? We have a LOT of foreign students at my school, so I'd assume so. Have you got any half or step siblings? I have three (actually four, but I don't know one tho) half-siblings and technically a step-brother, but I don't see him as a "brother," really. What cars do your siblings drive, if they do drive? My older sister has a red car, and my younger has a... black Kia, I think? It's dark is all I know for sure, and I only know the brand because it's new. I don't live with either or see their cars frequently elsewhere, so idk. What about your parents? Idk what kind my dad drives, but BOY do I know my mom's car, lmao. It's an older white Kia (I think?) with the bumper fuckin zip-tied onto the car bc it was given to us after a dance friend hit a poor deer, lmao. Look, we don't complain, shit was free. Do you like kid’s movies? Yo I do NOT trust you if you claim you like NO "kids' movie." Describe your handbag. I'm actually gonna look it up. (https://sourpussclothingwholesale.files.wordpress.com/2016/08/night-owl-bag.jpg?w=584&h=364) When was the last time you had to take someone home? ME, never. I don't have my license because I'm terrified of driving. Who was it, and where did you take them home from? N/A Have you ever known someone online and then met them in person? Sara Jaaaaaane!!! :'> There are other friends I'd like to meet, too. If so, which website did you meet on? Sara and I met via YouTube when it was actually community-oriented. Have you ever been to the beach? Yeah, multiple times. Have you ever been kicked out of somewhere? Yeah, I guess. She didn't actually like, force me outside, but I had to call my mother to pick me up. Have you ever intentionally trolled? No. Did you get swine flu? No. What is your favorite type of cat? Aesthetically, I find Persians to be way too cute, though I don't support their continued breeding. It's literally abuse to breed animals that deformed. Do you support the LGBTQ community? I'm bisexual, so like- Have you ever eaten a veggie burger? Yeah, the Morningstar brand from Burger King (not the Impossible Burger one). It's genuinely not bad. If you could meet any major political figure, who would it be? I'm not educated enough on like, any, to properly answer this question. If you drink Monster, what is your favorite flavor? N/A Do you own any Webkinz stuffed animals? I was that Bad Bitch(tm) with like,,,, almost all of them back in the day. If so, do you have a Webkinz online account? It exists, but idr the password sobs. If you had/have a Club Penguin account, how old were you when you got it? I would have a character for like two days, not go back on for years, repeat a couple times... but idk how old I was. Do you own any Nintendo video game consoles/handhelds? GameBoys and a DS Lite, yes. What religion were you raised in? Roman Catholicism. Are you still that religion, if you had one? Far from it. What religion/spiritual path intrigues you the most, if any? Buddhism and Wicca. What ancient culture intrigues you the most, if any? Idk. Were/are you a teacher’s pet? Not like, the kind that sucked up to the teacher for their personal benefit, but if you mean just as in the teacher's favorite, yeah. Do you like pink lemonade? Hell yeah man. What’s your favorite U2 song, if you have one? I don't listen to them. Were your parents born in the United States? Yeah. Do women breastfeeding in public make you feel uncomfortable? I want it to be perfectly and violently clear that I fucking despise you if a child being fed fucking offends you. Why or why not? Because women's bodies aren't sexual fucking objects designed for your viewing pleasure. Write an unpopular/offensive opinion of yours here. I’m interested. Buckle up, lads. Seatbelts fastened? Ass properly in the seat? Airbags in place? There are two genders.

[tatertotthethot]

PIZZA SUNDAYS~ JIMIN X READER!

Request (anon): Hi! Can I request a fluffy smut with tattooed Jimin, pleeease. I love your writings btw<3

— Dear anon, I hope you’re okay with “fluffy smut” becoming dominant and explicit smut cuz I’m a wild bitch by nature and everything has to be angsty and 1000x extra like me :)

Warnings: EX-GANGBANGER JIMIN FOR FLARE; dirty talk, possessive/dom themes, mentions of unwanted weight gain, lotsss if cursing and graphic oral.

(Also, PLEASE DONT COME FOR ME ABOUT THERE NOT BEING A “READ MORE” LINK, I SPENT LIKE AN HOUR TRYING DIFFERENT WAYS TO DO IT BUT IT DOESNT WORK ON A PHONE AT ALL AND I DONT OWN A LAPTOP, SORRY!!)

(Image below belongs to original editor. And requests are open!)

~*~*~*~*~

You knew prior to stepping on the scale in the bathroom that you weren’t going to like the results, being as your strict routine of nutritious meals and daily walks have recently transformed into consistent stress and persistent binge-eating as college finals had taken over your life.

And now that they were over, and you successfully passed everything to your satisfaction, you were now having to repair the damage it had on your mental and physical health. And much to your horror, you stepped up on the scales only to discover that you gained a whopping 15 pounds within the last few months.

This was a big fucking deal to you; Self-imagine was something that you’ve been steadily reconstructing with the new-found confidence and motivation that came with having someone as athletic and praise-worthy as Jimin at your side. But as of late, your time apart between his work schedule and your schooling has deprived the two of you from spending much time together, thus resulting in a lack of the compliments that you usually thrive on.

But... maybe you were mistaken? Maybe the real reason behind him not feeding you his admiration is because, well... look at you.

Your stomach dipped in dread as you quickly pulled you shirt off and turned to the mirror, where you then began scrutinizing every ounce of puginess that overlapped the hem line of your elastic gym-shorts. You ran your hands down your thickening sides and mushed all the fat together around your belly-button, kneading it as if it was raw dough. You then glanced up at your face, and your eyes practically shot out of their sockets as you began prodding at the puffiness in your cheeks and jawline, and pinching the loose skin and stretching it back until you looked around your neck. It was like you suddenly had on a fat suit and just now realized that it wasn’t coming off.

What the fuck is happening to me? You let out a shaky breath as you gave yourself another one-over, becoming more and more disgusted with the girl in the mirror. The only thing that snapped you out of your self-loathing trance was when you heard Jimin’s voice approaching the door, making you panic for cover.

“Hey, kitten? What kind of pizza do you want?—“ the door suddenly opened, revealing your picture-perfect boyfriend on the other side of it. Luckily, his eyes were focused on the phone in his hand. “They have a two-for-one deal at Pizza Hut, you get a free cheese pizza with the purchase of a large surpreme.”

“That’s Okay, I don’t want any,” You quickly dismissed, turning away from him as you hastily flipped your shirt back inside-out and pulled it over your head, cringing at the thought of him catching sight of the rolls beneath your bra.

You could hear the confusion in his voice as he looked up at you, “What, why? We always have pizza on Sundays, that’s why we get the automatic-texts from them for Sunday-deals.”

“I’m just not in the mood for pizza.. You can still order one for yourself, though. Maybe get me a salad?” you played off with a casual facade, but he quickly caught on to something not being right when he noticed you nervously undoing the already perfectly-placed bun that was sitting on top of your head, only to readjust it again. That was something you always do to advert your attention away from someone when you’re really hiding something. But then he spotted the scale on the floor beside your feet— which was normally pushed back in the corner of the bathroom— and pocketed his phone as he officially came to the conclusion that bullshit was definitely afoot.

With his natural interrogation coming into play, he crossed the art-covered masterpieces he has for arms over his black, T-shirt covered chest, and leaned against the door frame as he watched you, eyes now coated in suspicion and face now wiped clean of anything less than total seriousness.

“...so, let me get this straight; You want me to order you a salad, from Pizza Hut,” He flatly reiterated, voice full-on lacking any conviction as he gouged your reaction. “Since when have you ever traded a pizza up for a fucking salad, (Y/N)?”

“What are you trying to say?” You said with sudden defense, cutting a sharp look over at him. But once you took in the unamused, knowing look on face, you quickly diverted your eyes to the sink, where you then turned the faucet on and began splashing your face.

Another distraction.

“Cut the shit, jagiya. You just weighed yourself, didn’t you?”

With your eyes still closed from the access water, you pumped the exfoliation soap next to the sink into your palm and quickly rubbed your hands together before massaging it into your face.

“Yeah, So?”

“I’m guessing that has something to do with your sudden lack of interest in our traditional Sunday meal,” he rhetorically concluded, voice dripping with sarcasm as he straightened his stance and walked over to the scale. With his arms still crossed, he nosily peered down at the numbers still displayed across the screen, from where you forgot to reset it from the instant panic that took over your actions. His face flattened even more at the uneventful discovery. “Seriously, (Y/N), what’s the matter?”

“Nothing, Jimin. I just..” You sighed in frustration, turning the sink off and patting your face dry with a nearby hand towel, purposely using the few seconds of hiding to take control over the embarrassment taking over your features. You then lowered it and caught him standing directly behind you in the mirror with a stern look on his face, and sighed again as you quickly folded under the hopeless pressure. “I gained ten pounds.”

Your shoulders sagged in discomfort as you braced yourself for a reaction, but he just simply blinked at you unaffectedly, as if he was still awaiting to hear the problem.

You continued to stare at each other for a few more seconds, and when he finally realized that that was all you had to say, his eyebrows rose impatiently. “That’s it..?”

“What do you mean, that’s it? I’ve fallen off track, Jimin. Don’t act like you don’t see a difference,” you snapped, now mirroring his arm-crossed stature in a more vulnerable, sulking manner. “I thought it was the cold-water setting on the washing machine shrinking all my clothes, but no. Nothing fits the same anymore because I’m a beached-fucking-whale.”

“Shut up— the only reason your jeans have gotten tighter is because your ass is filling out even more, which is something I unapologetically take full responsibility in causing.”

“No, everything has gotten bigger— my gut, my face, everything. And I know I’m not pregnant because I just had my period, so it’s from me becoming a full-blown fatass in general.”

You sniffed at the burning sensation that came to your sinuses at the spike of anger, but you were more emotionally depressed than anything. You adverted your eyes again and stubbornly tightened your arms over your stomach, which quickly caused his edge to deteriorate a bit as he seen just how heavy this was weighing down on you. It was a shame, really; if only you could truly see yourself the way sees you— a unique blend of flawless beauty.

He exhaled a deep, audible sigh through his nose before lowering his arms around your lower waist, to which he then pulled you back against him and placed a series of endearing kisses along the side of your pouting cheeks.

“I told you this the day I first met you, and I’ll say it now until I’m blue in the fucking face— you are the prettiest damn thing I’ve ever laid my eyes on, (Y/N). Me being in love with you doesn’t effect that fact, nor does a little extra weight do anything to change it. And you wanna know why?” He began, gently turning you around by the hips before cradling the sides of your face, even though your eyes were still casted downward. “People like you don’t have to worry about shit like that, because there is no such thing as a bad look for someone so motherfucking pretty. It’s effortless, God-given gift. You doubting that is an insult.”

You let out a quiet laugh through your nose as you finally met his eyes, fully displaying the self-pity and gratitude in which you felt. “You’re so good to me.”

“Apparently not good enough if you’re still struggling with your self image,” He countered, then took you by surprise as he suddenly ducked down and snatched your gym shorts down to your ankles, then gripped your hips and hoisted you up on the counter without the slightest of warning.

“You see this?” He began, gripping your ass with purposeful aggression that caused you to giddily squeal out at the tenderness. “This is where all that pizza and candy bars go, and I fucking love that because it jiggles when you walk now; and that’s literally my biggest motivation to not say fuck it and go back to selling dope. Because if I get locked up again, that leaves this ass unprotected and up for grabs and I’m not fucking having that, sweety.”

Your head fell back as you openly howled out in laughter, loving his crude sense of humor.

“And these little stretch marks here,” he continued, snatching the hem of your panties down to mid thigh and revealing the neutral-colored stripes expanding along the fullness of your hips. “Holy fuck, they’re my second-biggest turn-on. I didn’t even know I had a kink for shit like this until I saw these badboys for the first time. And that’s why I’m always running my hands across them, because I like feeling the patterns of them. Especially when you’re riding me— oh my god, mm.”

The blush spread across your face like a wild-fire as he aggressively hummed in approval, and demonstrated the very action by greedily palming your hips and tracing his fingers along the thin lines.

“So I’ll say it again; there’s literally nothing ugly about you. The only flaw you really have is your self doubt, but I know you can’t help that and it’s fine. But I’m just telling you (Y/N), I fucking love everything about you. And I swear on everything, I mean it.”

You nodded in acceptance as you soaked in all his sincerity, unable to help the goofy grin gracing your lips as you then leaned your forehead against his chest and rubbed at his forearms, relinquishing in the feel of the veins protruding beneath his skin.

“I love you, Jimin.”

You felt his lips settle on the top of your head as he brought one hand up to rub the back of your neck, his heart racing at those precious words.

“I love you too, Jagiya.”

A dark thought then involuntarily crossed his mind as he noticed that you have yet to pull your panties back up, and it didn’t take long before that one hand still on your thigh crept between your legs and cupped your warm sex.

“I’m just gonna have to put more effort in making you feel good in your own skin.”

You gasped in a breath and gripped his wrist as his fingers teasingly swiped at your clit, him knowing that’s your go-to starter spot and not showing no sort of apprehension as he began full on palming your sensitive flesh, a possessive man by nature. The fingers that was just drawing soothing circles at the back of your neck soon entangled themselves into the back of your hair and pulled your head back, instantly wrenching the submissive out in you as you caught sight of his dominant glare.

“Now, tell me, jagiya: who does your pretty little ass belong to?”

You whimpered out at the intense arrousal that surfaced when he dipped his finger into your wet entrance and used the moisture to glide back up and tentavely roll your clit, making it instantly swell in response to the friction.

“You,” You spluttered out, trying not to squirm from the drastic spike in pleasure. “It belongs to you.”

Your bud continued to swell and twitch against the rough padding of his finger tip, not taking long at all to bring out your sex-crazed demons, and your doe-eyed and gaped-mouth awing soon got the best of him as well, and he lowered his head and lustfully sucked at your pouty lips, briefly warming you up before skillfully claiming your mouth with his tongue.

You didn’t hold back a single moan, you openly voiced your eager approval as he aggressively French-kissed you into oblivion, all the while vigorously massaging your puffy clit. And once he broke away, you barely had time to react before he snatched your panties clear off your legs, boy giving you any time to prepare yourself before he then grabbed you beneath the knees and yanked your ass to the edge of the counter. You tried to stay calm as he did all this, but when he dropped to his own knees and parted your legs so wide that not an inch of your pussy was hidden from his view, you almost cried out at the anticipation.

Because: Jimin may be an absolute God when it comes to fucking, but another thing he also knows how to do better than any other guy you’ve ever been with, is how to properly you out to the point of insanity.

And holy shit, it’s been a while. Something you didn’t realize how much you needed it up into this very moment.

“Don’t hold back on me, now— this is just pregame for what’s to come. As soon as you feel like cumming, do it. Because I need you still up and running for what’s to come after this,” he told told, his own eagerness coming to a tie with the amount of authority in his voice, and you obediently nodded as you gripped the edge of the counter, readying yourself.

“Yes sir.”

That was all it took; the wicked smile that appeared on his face widened as he stuck his tongue all the way out and flattened it over your vulnerable entrance, lapping you up from top to bottom like the greedy bastard he was, causing you to mewl out at the earth-shatter sensation of the silky wet surface lathering up needy flesh. He then craned your thighs all the way back until your shoulder blades hit the mirror and your knees were on both side of your chest, your pussy now practically presented to him on a platter as he then pressed his mouth past your lips and enclosed it around your prominent clit. He then caused every muscle in his vaginal region to clench and quake as he loudly began slurping at the tender area, passionately rolling his tongue and and coaxing it out with purposeful, yet very precise circles.

All the while, you were hitting notes higher than Miriah Carey at this point as words too shameful for acknowledgement poured from your hypnotized lips, your fingers latched into his jet-black hair as you praised him. Every stroke of his tongue was becoming more and more surreal as him sucking was causing the nerves in your clit to become more and more sensitive to his merciless infliction, and it only took about two minutes max before the tension building with your cored bursted under the pressure, causing an overwhelming, euphoric feeling to recochede out and practically electrify the path of his tongue as every nerve ending pulsed at the mind-numbing orgasm.

And oddly enough, once the high settled down and Jimin rose to his feet, you inhaled what was probably the freshest breath of air you’ve had in days, and every ounce of depression had diminished completely from your head. All you could do was stare st your smug-ass boyfriend in total awe as he slyly wiped at his lips and shot you a grin filthier than the Devil himself.

“My turn,” was all he said.

[elizardc-arts]

Drawing Daily in 2018!

Hi, it’s me - Eliza! I decided to draw everyday for 2018 and posted the process in instagram. Each month I did a drawing challenge and each month I tried out a new medium.

January

Creatuary: Mythical Creatures. I was lowkey doing the Creatuanary challenge created by dibujantenocturno, joshuacairos_art, and rafater_official. What’s fun about Creatuanary was that they tell you what the prompt for the day only so you can’t really pre-plan and just have to do things on the spot. I think it’s a really fun exercise. The medium I used for this month was the Zig Brushable Markers. They’re for calligraphy but I like doing art with them, they’re super nice. I highly recommend them to anyone. They’re kind of my go to markers. Though, I haven’t actually experimented with TomBows or the Prismacolors or Copics at all so I’d take what I say with a grain of salt.

February

Faebruary: Fairies! There’s also FaerieFeb hosted by archibald.art and maxineart. This was super fun. This was one of my favourite challenges. I don’t know if it was the medium I used or the subject matter - probably a combination of both! I used watercolours - a Palette of Prang - and I really enjoyed it. I hadn’t used watercolours since I was in high school and I remember not exactly enjoying the experience overall but within three days of painting fairies I’ve gone aboard the watercolour boat and I don’t wanna get down!

March

March of Robots: Robots! Created by chocolatesoop - MoR is super bomb. I used Stabilo Boss Highlighters for this month and my big take is HIGHLIGHTERS DO NOT SCAN WELL. Or at all. Also, I hear they fade. So, it’s not really a medium that has ‘archival quality’. However, it was super fun. I love using bright obnoxious colours. Everything just pops! Also! They give away brand spankin’ new wacom tablets to five lucky participants regardless of skill level! I highly recommend anyone join this!  

April

AstroApril: Constellations and planets! I couldn’t really find a monthly drawing challenge I wanted to do this month so I decided to make my own with AstroApril! I love the stars and galaxy art is always great so I figured why not? And - I decided to use coloured pencils - I got a pack of Prismacolors. Two things - one Prismacolors are the best coloured pencils I have ever used ( I’ve only used student quality sets thus far so I might not have the best grasp of the best coloured pencil sets) - they blend well and are so so creamy it’s such a dream! Two - I don’t recommend using coloured pencils when doing galaxy art. It was fun sure - and I have a deep relationship with coloured pencils now that I have never had before but in terms of efficiency, specially with the subject matter - I highly discourage it. It took me a very long time to create each piece. I guess that’s just the way things are with coloured pencil but you can get the galaxy effect very easily with paints.

May

MerMay: Mermaids! Created by tombancroft1 - mermaids were fun! You gotta play with fluidity and it was a fun challenge trying to figure out which pose to do. I also considering it was May - Star Wars Month - enjoyed drawing star wars characters as mermaids. I used gouache for this and wow is gouache great! If you’ve never used gouache before, just imagine what would happen if acrylics and watercolours had a baby. I used a reeves set that was gifted to me. And considering its a student quality kit, it gave me a very nice taste of what could be accomplished with gouache. I’m highly considering investing in a more heftier set of gouache.

June

Journey June: the hero’s journey in art challenge form! This was great because it introduced me to a lot of cool new things like Creative Twitch Streams and the process of conceiving a story. Better yet! It introduced me to cloverkin and galvosaur the pair who created Journey June. They’re super cool hoomans and I recommend you drop by their stream. Also! I made a story! It’s about a hornless unicorn and he goes on an adventure to try and get a horn. I used mechanical pencils with coloured lead to draw my illustrations. They weren’t the greatest to work with considering the lead broke easily. I’d probably use actual pencils for this next time.

July

Julycanthropy: Werewolves! On the high of making a story from Journey June, I thought it would be fun to do another one for Julycanthropy. I used black paper and white charcoal/white coloured pencil for this. White charcoal is more vibrant against the black but white coloured pencil doesn’t smudge. It was a fun challenge to think in reverse and only colour the highlights instead of the shadows.

August

Smaugust - This is probably my least favourite drawing challenge I did this year. I used pentel oil pastels which I liked well enough but I just don’t think dragons are my thing. Also, I wished my country sold oil pastels per piece. My white oil pastel is very very smol.

September

Sketchtember: Sketches all month long! I sketched out hoomans! I’ve always wanted to draw humans but I’ve always been somewhat intimidated. I’m not so sure why anymore, they’re fun! I’m a little bit addicted. I used graphite and this little pilot lead holder - very fun, highly recommend.

October

Inktober: Inks all month long! Does Inktober really need an intro? Made by jakeparker - it’s just all about practicing your inking skills for the month. I drew more humans for inktober - this time with pet familiars! I used faber castell ecco-pigment and I used this fancy bristol paper. This was amazing. A pair made in heaven. I think I’d like to use maybe a brush pen next time to cover up larger areas but all in all no regrets!

November

Huevember: Colours all month long! I used Stabilo Chalk Pastels on Pastel paper! I decided to do the greek gods and goddesses and zodiac women. I’m not sure pastels are my forte to be honest. They’re fun but I guess they’re just not my thing. I really like the pastel paper though. They’re a bit pricy so I shouldn’t really be so surprised at how well they held onto the chalk pastels. However, because the pastel paper I decided to use was multi-coloured it was really difficult to tell the colour gradient between each piece. Kinda ruins the Huevember effect - Still a fun learning experience over all though!

December

Drawcember: Free Draw! There’s no particular prompt list for this monthly challenge it’s just free draw - which is a lot harder is some ways so I decided to make my own list again. I was inspired by the theme of demons and angels. I thought because of the free draw nature of the challenge, to use mixed media. This was very difficult for me. I ended up just doing portions of ink and portions of paint separately but ideally I wanted a more happy marriage of the two. I definitely need more practice in mixing the different mediums. But on the flipside - I was definitely pleased I was painting again. I enjoy painting a lot. Though - skin tones - very difficult to get right. It wasn’t too bad when I was painting demon skin or angel skin - but human skin has a lot going on.  

General Thoughts

I honestly can’t believe I managed to do 365+ drawings throughout the whole year. It was both easier and harder than I thought it would be. You have good days and bad. I think for anyone planning to attempt this, take advantage of your good days - pop as much drawings as you can out and go easy on yourself during your bad days - you can always always catch up. Sometimes you just need a little break and that’s okay.

I learned a lot, made a lot of pals, and I’m definitely looking forward to next year.

Woo!

Best, E