#throwback to the most stressed any game has ever made me

[goddidntdothis]

[ DAY EIGHTEEN : HOUSE ON THE OUTSKIRTS ]

[galaxy-whiskers]

I was tagged by @bailandonorris, thanks!

1. what is the colour of your hair brush? 

I have a silver paddle brush which I don’t use very often, a transparent and purple swirly coloured (honestly don’t know how else to describe) afro comb, and a regular black comb.

2. name of a food you never eat? 

Tuna, can’t stand it. To be honest, I eat most things if they’re warm, but VERY fussy when it comes to cold food

3. are you typically too warm or too cold? 

Definitely too hot! I still have a fan on in the winter at night time

4. what were you doing 45 minutes ago? 

Playing Animal Crossing, tried to catch some tarantulas because Flick is on my island but the dodos don’t seem to want to send me to any decent islands so my mission was unsuccessful

5. what’s your favourite candy bar?

That’s a hard one... probably either Cadbury’s marvelous creations with the jelly beans and popping candy, darkmilk, or the one with oreos. Snickers are pretty great too, also Kinder Bueno and just Kinder chocolate in general. Basically, what I’m saying is I love chocolate

6. have you ever been to a professional sports event? 

Yes, I went to the London 2012 Olympics to watch show jumping, football and basketball! Have probably been to others? Really want to go to Wimbledon at some point but not sure when I’ll be able to do that. Does dog agility count as sport? Seen it at Crufts multiple times

7. what is the last thing you said out loud? 

‘Night night curly shoes’ - a goodnight wish for my sweet doggo Ivy

8. what is your favourite ice cream? 

I’m a fan of coconut ice cream it has to be said, also honeycomb, and your standard Ben and Jerry’s cookie dough is high up there. Really specifically, the vanilla ice cream from the waffle shop in Cirencester. To be honest, don’t eat much ice cream, not my go-to food choice because I’m lactose intolerant and a lot of it makes me feel sick just thinking about it. Has to be good!

9. what is the last thing you had to drink? 

Some water, absolute health right here (she says drinking her first glass of water all day after about 4 cans of Pepsi Max whoops)

10. do you like your wallet? 

I guess so, yes. Could probably do with a slightly more efficient one but it’s decent

11. what was the last thing you ate? 

A jazz apple from the fridge. We have no pink ladies which are the favourites but jazz are pretty tasty too

12. did you buy any new clothes last week? 

No, only virtual ones in Animal Crossing. I haven’t been clothes shopping in so long and doesn’t look like that will change anytime soon

13. last sporting event you watched? 

Honestly no idea, since all the sport has been cancelled for a while I can’t think what the last thing would have been. Probably Cheltenham races on the telly back in February or March or whenever it was?

14. what’s your favourite flavour of popcorn? 

The classic, salty cinema popcorn. Honestly the best

15. who was the last person you sent a message to? 

Strangely, someone from my secondary school who I haven’t ever spoken to over message before. She posted our leavers video on her Instagram and thought I’d message since I’d been looking for that video for  y e a r s  and sparked a conversation! She never liked me much back in school I don’t think, she was popular and I really wasn’t so I never properly spoke to her. One of my friends had a bit of drama with her, absolutely hated her, but they eventually became best pals. Also her best pal during most of school really didn’t like me for some reason... anyway, had a nice chat, strange how friendly she seems these days

16. ever go camping?

Uhh well... I’ve been 4 times, 2 of which were for D of E and I can safely say I’ve never had a good experience. First time, the people in the tent next to us got arrested at 3AM for drugs or something, second time was my dad’s 40th birthday and my brother didn’t know he was allergic to nuts so eating a cake with mixed nuts on the top didn’t go down well for him... also went to a restaurant on the way there with my granny and got a caterpillar in my salad. Third and fourth times, let’s just say D of E was one of the worst experiences of my life, I’ll leave it at that... would really like to go camping again though to have a good experience, maybe change my mind on it? I don’t know, willing to give it a try

17. do you take vitamins? 

I go through phases, sometimes I take them every day, other times I don’t take them for like 3 months

18. do you go to church every sunday? 

I used to, but as I got older I slowly went less and less until I didn’t go at all. I lost faith I guess? Kind of didn’t feel I belonged there or believed anymore. I loved singing the hymns and our vicar was an absolute lad, we also got biscuits at the end of each service, but over time I decided it wasn’t right for me to keep going. Pretty much all the people that go to ours are your typical white, posh, probably homophobic and hate children type so that put me off. Also after everything that’s happened in mine and other’s lives, I slowly lost the belief in God. If all of it was true, why would these things happen? I guess also my scientific mind was constantly telling me there’s no proof. I think the only reason I went to begin with was because it was a family thing and as a child I believed pretty much everything that was said

19. do you have a tan? 

No, certainly not... used to when I lived in the Caribbean but now I’m pretty much white as a sheet

20. do you prefer chinese food or pizza? 

A very difficult one... probably chinese? As much as I love pizza, it’s the same issue as the ice cream

21. do you drink soda with a straw? 

Nah not a fan of straws, they taste weird

22. what colour socks do you wear? 

ALL THE COLOURS! I own a pair of socks for every outfit to colour co-ordinate, my sock draw is overflowing

23. do you ever drive above the speed limit? 

Strangely, I drive under by quite a bit when no one else is around. It’s the other cars that stress me out and make me go too fast. Also I have a black box so not allowed

24. what terrifies you? 

Good question, lots of things... the sea, pools, tbh water in general, heights, rejection, the current impending doom, large open spaces with no walls I can be against, losing everyone I love, the fact that anyone might be secretly talking about me behind my back because they actually hate me, the list goes on but I won’t continue it

25. look to your left what do you see? 

An empty Pepsi Max can, a glass of water, some crocodile scissors, my Switch, a cranberry scented candle, and some tiny balls of wool

26. what chore do you hate? 

Got to be changing my bed, or washing up when the things have got cold food left on them

27. what do you think of when you hear an australian accent? 

A throwback to year 8

28. what’s your favourite soda?

Pepsi Max

29. do you go into fast food places or drive thru? 

It depends who I’m with

30. who was the last person you talked to? 

My mum about a meteor shower and satellites

31. favourite cut of beef? 

A random question... I do like a good rump steak

32. last song you listened to? 

You Make My Dreams by Hall and Oates because I’m using it in my animation project

33. last book you read? 

I’m like part way through Good Omens and have been for quite some time... I have learning difficulties and find reading a lot of effort so don’t read very often

34. can you say the alphabet backwards? 

No, it’s the kind of thing I’d have expected myself to learn at some point but never did

35. how do you like your coffee? 

I don’t like coffee so in the bin

36. favourite pair of shoes? 

My multicoloured Vans, got them in the second week of uni and I’ve loved them ever since

37. the time you normally go to bed? 

Well, currently it’s around 1AM to go to bed, 3AM to sleep. Used to be around 12/1AM sleep but the lockdown has ruined that

38. the time you normally wake up? 

Again, currently it’s around 11:30AM to wake up then 12PM to do things but used to be around 9:30/10AM. To be honest I still sometimes wake up then but I go back to sleep again because I have no reason to exist more than I need

39. what do you prefer sunrise or sunsets? 

Sunrise is always nice to watch, but I don’t like getting up early so definitely sunset, especially when you’re at a restaurant or sitting outside somewhere in the countryside

40. how many blankets are on your bed? 

Just the one duvet, but I have a soft fish patterned blanket for when I want something to cuddle with

41. describe your kitchen plates? 

We have some plain white ones and some that are white with leaves around the edges. The edges have a ridged pattern and the rims are gold

42. do you have a favourite alcoholic beverage?

I don’t drink so no

43. do you play cards? 

Yes, love a good card game! 

44. what colour is your car? 

It’s very nice Caribbean sea blue. Used to be my mum’s car, it’s her favourite colour

45. can you change a tire? 

I probably could if I had to but can’t say I’ve done it before

46. your favourite province? 

I guess that’s counties? Hometown of Gloucestershire is up there, also a fan of Devon. My favourites may have to be Caenarfonshire and Anglesey though after the road trip last year

47. favourite job you’ve had?

Not sure really, I guess it would have to be doing my art commissions

48. how did you get your biggest scar?

The biggest scar I have these days is on my right knuckle between my index and middle finger, it’s very small. I got it from when I was holding a horse still before untacking and he decided that hay was more exciting, caught my hand on a splintered wooden fence and that was that

49. what did you do today that made someone happy? 

Nothing, I’ve only seen my family and even then it was for a short time. Don’t think I make anyone happy these days ahah

It’s now 3:22AM, that took longer than I expected. ‘I’ll go to sleep early today’ I said but I say that every day. Don’t know why I keep lying to myself. 

Anyway, I guess I have to tag someone now, so I tag @duckingpunches !

[harjii]

2018 Music | My Faves

This is a bit delayed but @genjitsu-no-yume reminded me to create a list of my favourite music in 2018. I’ve split this list into 3 sections; favourite songs, favourite albums and throwback discoveries because I am constantly discovering music releases months (sometimes years) after they’ve been released OTL. 

By no means is this a list of what I think was the best. This is simply a list of the music I discovered which I loved and none of it is in any particular order. There’s constantly so much being released and all of it is so wonderful, how to possibly pick between it all?! 

Anyway, without further ado, here’s a list of my favourite music in 2018!

Favourite Songs Released in 2018

Tell Me - Infinite

Till Sunrise (feat JW of Nell) - Kim Sunggyu

The Chance of Love - DBSK (TVXQ)

Crossing A Line - Mike Shinoda

Caste of the Nine - A9

Who We Are - FAKY

Get It - PRISTIN V

Forever and a Day (Lean On Me) - WANNA ONE

Dear My Friend (Feat. Washio Reina from E-Girls / Flower) - MACO

Warrior (Feat. John Cooper) - Ledger

HELP ME - NU’EST W

Heroine - Sunmi

Sleeping Beauty - Epik High x Sekai no Owari

Shoot Met - DAY6

Sober (feat Ummet Ozcan) - HYO

F E E L S - Safetysuit

Almost Love - Sabrina Carpenter

Growing Pains - Alessia Cara

Fakeshow - Da-iCE

If It’s Okay With You - Nam Woohyun

La Fiesta - THE RAMPAGE from EXILE TRIBE

Woman - BoA

Fake Divine - HYDE

Love Bomb - fromis_9

Upside Down - BIGFLO

Black Heart - UNB

Tempo - EXO

Pretty Sin (Oh! My Mistake) - APRIL

Hope Torture - NELL

Spring Breeze - WANNA ONE

Favourite Albums Released in 2018

1. Post Traumatic - Mike Shinoda

Having been a Linkin Park fan since I was 13, Chester’s passing hit me really, really hard. Every Linkin Park fan can relate to the heart break felt but when Mike started releasing music, it became therapy for us all. The album dropped half way through 2018 and by then, he’d already released a fair number of the tracks as E.P.’s beforehand. Even though we’d heard many of the songs by this point, listening to the album as a whole was so much more emotional and so moving. Mike’s emotive lyrics, the strife he went through after losing someone so close to him is a pain we all felt we could connect to. Truly, I’m so thankful to him for releasing this album. I replayed it so much for weeks and weeks and the more I listened to it, the more I felt myself healing. The music is incredible; as always Mike has his own unique touch when it comes to creating music and the lyrics really tell a story of grief, sorrow, heartbreak, anger but most of all, hope. It’s this hope that we’re left hanging on to by the time the album ends and if that isn’t the perfect way to end an album, I don’t know what is.

Favourite tracks:  Over Again / About You (feat. blackbear) / Crossing A Line / Hold It Together / Make it Up As I Go (feat. K.Flay) / Running From My Shadow (feat. grandson)

2. DON’T MESS UP MY TEMPO - EXO 

Honestly, I was too immersed in NU’EST to give EXO a second thought as both groups debuted at the same time but I’d always known of EXO and always had a distant appreciation of their talents. However, when they started releasing teasers for their comeback my EXO-L friend started sharing her excitement with me. I went with it, intrigued to hear what they’d release. The moment I watched the MV for ‘Tempo’, I was instantly sold. I was so sold that I couldn’t stop re-watching the MV for days and days, to the point that I was trying to find signal in the Bermuda triangle that is the staff room at work just to stream it during lunch breaks! Safe to say, I fell pretty hard. Then I listened to the whole album and I was blown away. My only question was-why hadn’t I listened to them properly in the first place? Every song on this album is a mature progression for the group and their harmonies are just unyielding. I honestly can not praise this album enough. Mostly I’m just so thankful that it exists because it got me into EXO’s music properly, after long last!

Favourite tracks:  Tempo / Ooh La La La / With You / 24/7 / Bad Dream / Oasis

3. WHO, YOU - NU’EST W

Picking a favourite album by my boys was difficult because they released 2 stellar mini albums in 2018, however I had to go with ‘WHO, YOU’ in the end because my goodness was every track blindingly fantastic. In fact I’d go as far as to say that every song on this album could be released as a promo track and every song would chart well. NU’EST W did a brilliant job in the composition and tone of this album. It’s somewhat moody whilst also incorporating EDM which just blends so effortlessly. I really can’t fault any song on this album. And don’t even get me started on the title track; ‘Dejavu’ was a masterpiece! Prior to release NU’EST W had stated that the title track would include Latin tones since that was quite a big musical trend throughout 2018. As expected, they incorporated the Latin tones so subtly that it created such a infectious and trendy song. Also that bass in the chorus-bridge is so funky! Just amazing. NU’EST W’s musical development in 2018 was such a marvel and this album really proved that.

Favourite tracks:  Signal / Dejavu

4. WARNING - Sunmi

As a Wonderful, naturally I was excited every time Sunmi released anything. However seeing just how her popularity soared after ‘Gashina’ was released filled me with so much inexplicable joy because yes, this is what she deserved; RECOGNITION. This woman has only ever worked hard to challenge herself and grow as an artist and ‘WARNING’ is certainly proof of that growth. Comparing the musical tone of ‘WARNING’ to her first mini album ‘Full Moon’ you can really hear the stark difference in styling both musically and vocally. Sunmi has always had a unique set of vocals but in her ‘Full Moon’ mini album, they were masked greatly by the production I felt. But having more musical control after leaving JYPent, Sunmi has proved release after release what a capable song-writer she is and how she can work with the production team to create an album that not only appeals to the large majority but is true to her artistry. This entire album is testament to her talents and to know that she snatched so many music awards for it fills me with nothing but pride. Every award and achievement with this album was well deserved.

Favourite tracks: Siren / Curve / Gashina / Heroine 

5. The Pains of Growing - Alessia Cara

I’ve been a fan of Alessia’s music from the moment I heard ‘Scars to Your Beautiful’, introduced to me by my sister. That was one of the rare times where she had shared music I actually loved! Ever since then, I’ve patiently waited for Alessia to release some new music, so the moment ‘Growing Pains’ was released as a single, I was instantly hooked. I replayed the song so many times in one day I lost count. I just knew that her new album would be equally if not better than her first album. She certainly matured in her lyric writing and musicality because ‘The Pains of Growing’ is such a fantastic conceptual album. The trials and tribulations of transitioning into an adult can really be trying but Alessia took all those experiences we all go through and placed them in song. Listening to the songs on this album just makes me remember those difficult times yet at the same time, there’s a fondness in the crazy and ridiculous emotions and moments which took place. That is what this album does; it takes you back to those times if you’re already grown. But for those who are growing still, it’s something you can find comfort in and relate to.

Favourite tracks: Growing Pains / I Don’t Want To / Trust My Lonely / Nintendo Game

Throwback Discoveries

1. EVOLution - Sabrina Carpenter 

I didn’t mean to completely fall helplessly in love with Sabrina Carpenter’s music especially since I just looked her music up after binge watching ‘Girl Meets World’, but that’s exactly what happened. In fact I listened to her music non-stop for so long, my sister got fed up of constantly listening to Sabrina (she should’ve been thanking me really //rolls eyes). Her first album ‘Eyes Wide Open’ was such a sweet and soft album, I really enjoyed it a lot but her second album ‘EVOLution’ really was a level up in her styling both musically and physically. It’s very experimental and you can tell that Sabrina was still finding her feet and figuring out what kind of music she wanted to release, but I always love the journey. The albums which portray the journey, the experimenting, I always end up loving them the most and this album is exactly that. Lyrically, I really love what Sabrina did on ‘Thumbs’; singing about society and humanity the way she did was brave and I couldn’t help but love her even more after hearing this song. Every song on this album holds its own and is such a fantastic testament to Sabrina’s progression as an artist. 

Favourite tracks: On Purpose / Thumbs / Run and Hide / Mirage / Don’t Want It Back / Shadows

2. Holiday Night - Girls’ Generation

Work became quite stressful for me last Spring and for a whole week, I found that ‘Holiday’ by Girls’ Generation kept popping into my head. The odd thing about this was that I’d only heard the song a handful of times and I’d never listened to the album-so then why was it in my head? How? I put it down to the fact that I actually needed a holiday, ironically (I really did though //sobs). In the end, I decided to look the album up and give it a listen. So I did. And then I listened to it some more. And before I knew it, I was just listening to it on repeat for weeks. Honestly, I’d never gotten in Girls’ Generation properly (aside from absolutely loving their Japanese album ‘Girls and Peace’); I’d just casually listened to them over the years so I was quite taken aback by just how much I loved this album. It just made me feel so happy and made me feel so good, especially after long tiring days at work. This then propelled me to look into their discography a little more...that is until I got a little sidetracked...

Favourite tracks: Holiday / Only One / One Last Time / Sweet Talk / Love Is Bitter 

3. The Voice - Taeyeon

So whilst listening to more Girls’ Generation, I thought, “Oh yes, solo work!” And I don’t know why, I went with Taeyeon’s solo work first. That’s basically where I got completely sidetracked and completely forgot to check the other members because W O W! Taeyeon has some amazing pipes!! I had watched her MV for ‘I (feat. Verbal Jint)’ years ago but just not taken to it as much; after re-watching it, I then watched the MV for her song ‘Make Me Love You’ and that’s where I fell for her music. It’s such a simple song melodically but the way Taeyeon’s vocals build throughout the song from one octave to another, gaining more and more strength and confidence just fits the meaning of the song so perfectly. I was so blown away when I heard this song that I needed more. I downloaded her album in the end and gave it a proper listen. Every song had me hooked but the song which got me the most was ‘Time Lapse’. When I saw that Kim Jongwan from Nell had written the lyrics and helped with the composition I just knew I’d love this because I love Nell, and I did love this! SO MUCH! But it wasn’t just the song structure and melody, but Taeyeon’s voice is so vulnerable in this song. When she hits that high note towards the ends of the song, it gives me goosebumps every time. Honestly, it left me breathless. No wonder her first full album was entitled ‘The Voice’ because really, Taeyeon’s voice is exceptionally. To add to it, she covered Nell’s ‘Time Spent Walking Through Memories’ which was an additional bonus track on the physical album and what a cover it is-WHAT A COVER! I’ve nothing but so much love for Taeyeon’s talent, truly.

Favourite tracks: Make Me Love You / Fine / Cover Up / Time Lapse / When I Was Young / Live in Color / Fire / Time Spent Walking Through Memories (Nell Cover)

4. Tree - SEKAI NO OWARI

What I love doing at conventions is picking up random album, just to discover something new and exciting. Although in this case, I knew about SEKAI NO OWARI already and I absolutely loved their song ‘Death Disco’ and their collab with Epik High, however beyond that? I knew very little of their music. I came across the limited edition of this album at a convention and thought, “Wow, I know this is rare so I should just get it. Yup.” Plus it was a great opportunity to expose myself to more of their music, so why not? I do think music is about timing because if past me had heard this album, I don’t think I’d have appreciated it half as much as I appreciated listening to it in 2018. SEKAI NO OWARI’s musicality is just so unique; I’ve never heard anything else like it! The more I listened to this album, the more I found myself in a trance just repeating it. I’m a big fantasy lover so when listening to this album, I realised it was like listening to something from another world, something mythical and sometimes ethereal but mostly just-unusual, in a good way. It’s very difficult to explain the way SEKAI NO OWARI’s music sounds but if you know it, you know what I mean. If you don’t know it, you should go check them out.

Favourite tracks: Snow / Magic / Fantasy / Mermaid Rhapsody / Pierrot / Death Disco / Dragon Night 

5. The War - EXO

Having finally given into EXO, I basically spent all of November and December listening to their entire discography. ALL OF IT. The hilarious thing is that my first impression of ‘The War’ was, “I’m not entirely sure what I feel about this album”. Then I re-listened to it more and more...and more...and more, until i realised the entire album had grown on me at an alarming rate. In fact, the point at which i realised just how much I loved this album was when I was trying to create a playlist of my favourite EXO songs and I put 7 out of 9 songs on this album in that playlist. What’s even funnier is that I liked ‘Forever’ and ‘Diamond’ the least when i first heard them, but after listening to the album so much, they became two of my favourite songs! This doesn’t happen often, where I end up liking an album I didn’t like much to begin with so much but this album really knocked me for twenty! I could probably write reams and reams for every single track on this album but what I will say is that this album really shows just how much EXO grew musically since their first album ‘XOXO’. I really feel like you can hear EXO coming into their own on this album like-they sound comfortable with the music they’re singing, as if this is what they’ve wanted to create for so long. They exude so much confidence vocally on this album that you can’t help but fall for every single track. At least that’s what I found!

Favourite tracks: Basically the entire album. Don’t even ask me to pick!

[bluerosesburnblue]

Liz Liveblogs Bravely Second: Final Thoughts

Alright, as promised, let’s take a deep dive into my experience with Bravely Second. I’ve done the postgame, not really much to talk about. All it really is is unused dungeons that appeared in Default, but not Second, repurposed to hold missing enemies with a set encounter rate. Game’s been 100% completed besides some of the Ba’al bestiary entries, which I’m working on. (And by 100% I mean all Bestiary entries completed, all item/equipment journal entries completed, all character levels and job levels maxed out, all songs unlocked in Chompcraft, and all Titles collected.) So, now that there’s nothing left to do but hope for the best at Fort-Lune, I’ve taken some time to organize my thoughts and gone back through the liveblog to see if any of my opinions have changed

Speaking of the liveblog, I saved it in a word document when the Tumblr purge happened, just in case, and that thing ended up being 98 pages/53823 words long. So wow. That’s more than the entirety my college thesis paper. Kinda nuts how much I can write when I’m motivated. So now I’m gonna write EVEN MORE

Major spoilers for Bravely Default, Bravely Second, and also Undertale follow below

I suppose I should start this post by talking briefly about my history with the series, since I only liveblogged Bravely Second and don’t think I’ve said much about Default before

I beat Bravely Default about three years ago (shortly before November 8, 2015 if the email I sent to my best pal anheiressofasoldier, who I will not tag as she’s avoiding Bravely Second spoilers, is any indication). I binged the game while at college, because I wanted to be able to play Bravely Second when it came out (...whoops). Around the time I really started getting into the game, indie darling Undertale came out, and I spent a lot of my time bouncing between playing Bravely Default and having Undertale playthroughs going in the background while doing schoolwork/grinding in BD. I learned one thing about my tastes during that time: I really love meta plots in games and the way that they both utilize the system’s capabilities to mess with the player and integrate the player into the story, expanding the lore and fostering the sense that you, behind the screen, really are a part of this story and a member of the world of the game, just like all of the other characters. It is a fascinating story mechanism, and it’s a surefire way to get me invested in the narrative

Makes it kind of funny that the Undertale spiritual sequel/AU, Deltarune, came out just as I was finishing Bravely Second. I guess the two series will always be tied together for me

For those unaware and who also don’t care about spoilers, Bravely Default and Undertale are both RPGs with similar twists at the end. Namely that you, the Player, are a full-blown character and active participant in the world of the story. And also that saving the game is an in-universe thing. Bravely Default reveals during its final boss battle that another realm exists, the Celestial Realm, and when it’s depicted the game uses the 3DS camera to show the player’s face, creating the narrative that the villain, Ouroboros, is attempting to break out of the “game” into the ��real world,” and the entire plot of the game has been revolving around this fact. It is also revealed that “The Celestial” has been keeping Tiz alive and guiding him, and when he severs the bond between himself and the Celestial, he collapses and the game ends. You, the player, lose control of the character because he breaks your bond, which means you can’t play anymore

The first hint that there may be more to Undertale’s story of a human falling into the Underground land of monsters is during the final boss of a Neutral run (necessary to get the Pacifist ending and the first ending most people see), where the main villain, Flowey, abruptly crashes the game. Booting it up again causes the intro to glitch out and the save file to show what appears to be Flowey’s own save file. When accessed, the player is loaded into a black void with nothing but a save point. Accessing that causes Flowey to delete your save file (not unlike what Providence tries in Bravely Second), which begins the final fight against him. During the fight, he makes use of Save States to reload you back into the way of his attacks. This messing around with the player’s save data is only the first part of the game’s meta twist. Another reveal happens at the end of its Genocide route, where the player actively guides their character into eradicating every last monster in the Underground. You have to actively stay in each area of the game and kill everything you see until every enemy encounter becomes a blank screen with the message “But nobody came...” There’s no way to just accidentally end up on this route. Like, I cannot stress that enough. Very few people actually see the Genocide route, but its reveal is integral to understanding the overarching story

The final boss of the Genocide route is designed to actively screw with the UI (which is what I referenced when fighting Providence). His attacks change the shape of your action box, where you’re intended to dodge attacks in bullet hell segments, around. Some of his attacks are in the menu, hitting your icon in the text box and the buttons to select your action for each turn, constantly damaging you. There’s no downtime in this fight. You have to always be moving, because now he’s attacking your safe zones, just like Providence’s Bravely Second attack. There is no safe place from damage against these bosses. The trick to beating Undertale’s Genocide boss is to wait him out and dodge his attacks until he’s tired, and then use the time he’s asleep to move the action box into the menu to access your commands. Then, at the very end, you’re taken to a void and speak to a child you’ve never seen before, who informs you that you’ve both been controlling the main character of the game, Frisk. In a Neutral or Pacifist run of the game, this child is content to let you take control, and in fact may not even awaken as an entity possessing Frisk at all. In a Genocide run, however, they get so gung-ho about killing that they take control from you at various points. Noticeably, in the Genocide route, “Frisk” seems to act on their own a lot in cutscenes, something that they only do occasionally in other routes. The Mysterious Child informs you that they are the Fallen Child that the player named in the beginning, and that they also believe that they are some manifestation of... I don’t know how to phrase this. Game addiction? Completionist tendencies? They call themself “the feeling you get when your stats go up” or something along those lines. They ask you to destroy the world of Undertale with them and move on to the next game, where you’ll do the process over again together, killing all enemies and the “beating the game,” over and over until there’s nothing left. Accept their offer and the games ends there, the game’s world is erased. Refuse, and the Fallen Human informs you that you were never in control and attacks the player directly, causing damage numbers to be displayed across the screen and the game to crash instantly after. Booting it up again in either situation leaves you with nothing but a black screen with wind noises. 10 minutes after booting up that screen, the Fallen Human will offer to reset things so long as you sell them your soul. Accept, and every time you play a Pacifist route again the happy ending will play, before showing Frisk abruptly becoming possessed by the Fallen Human

I’d hazard a guess that what takes Undertale from being a goofy, lighthearted game with fun jokes and a lot of emotional moments into a ridiculously fascinating game to analyze is that reveal. The realization that the Player is a character takes that game’s story from good to great in a very short amount of time. Everything changes. And that’s exactly what happened to me with Bravely Default, which suddenly went from a cute throwback game to nostalgic RPGs (of which I have played none so there really isn’t any nostalgia there for me) that I genuinely enjoyed both the story and gameplay of to a brilliant game that I couldn’t get enough of. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that seeing that plot thread in Undertale is what made me appreciate its appearance in Default and hope that the lore there would be taken up a notch in Second. And honestly, I’d say it did. Gameplay-wise, it doesn’t go nearly as hard into it as Undertale does, but I don’t think it really has to. It’s not the same game, it just draws on similar themes, and I think it does that really well with the 3DS hardware. And to the Bravely Series’s credit, its integration of the Player into the narrative is done very well

So with all that said, what do I think of Bravely Second as a product? I had expectations, obviously. I expected to get more lore about the Celestial and the Celestial realm and was not disappointed. I went in spoiled on quite a few things, namely:

Anne is Airy’s sister, and is evil and works for a purple-ish pyramid named Providence

Ringabel is in it. Or at the very least, Alternis takes his helmet off. But it was probably Ringabel

The Kaiser’s real name is Denys Geneolgia

Obviously I knew who the asterisk holders were, since I had a list, so that spoiled Yōko as an antagonist to an extent, as well as a few tricky methods to beat bosses, namely Rev

A general overview of some sidequests, mostly Profiteur vs. Holly, Barras vs. Einheria, and Khamer vs. Alternis. You know, the controversial ones

Tiz/Agnès, Ringabel/Edea, and Yew/Magnolia are endgame ships

There is one time loop in the game. Not a world change, but a genuine time loop

I didn’t even pay much attention to pre-release info for Bravely Second, but try as I might, I can’t ever seem to completely avoid spoilers 😓. Oh well. The good news is that none of them really ruined the experience for me

Bravely Second is something that I haven’t seen in a long time: a good sequel. Good GOD have I seen games ruined by their sequels. Maybe I’m just bitter about the sequel hook in TWEWY Final Remix, which makes it seem like the writers have no idea what to do with a sequel, despite having a rich world to set it in. SO MANY sequels just rehash the first game, contradict its ending to get rid of everyone’s happy endings, or else try to explain things that didn’t need explanation (and explain them poorly at that). Bravely Second completely destroyed any of those worries for me. Everything feels like an expansion of the world and characters, done tastefully and with nothing but love for the first game that it’s expanding the lore of. I really felt the heart that went into making it while playing the game, and I have so much respect for the people who made it

Now, it does hit some similar plot beats, like the betrayer fairy who turns out to be working for an extradimensional being looking to mess with both the Celestial Realm and Luxendarc, but I love the twists it made to the formula. Bravely Default was a deconstruction of nostalgic JRPGs, where the helpful guide turns out to be working for the villain and tricked you into doing their dirty work, and instead of saving the world you were dooming it. Bravely Second then takes that plot and flips the perspective on it. They make the person being led by the fairy to open the Holy Pillar the villain, and he believes that he’s saving the world just as vehemently as the party did last game. Which almost makes him the perfect sympathetic villain, since he serves as a counterpoint to the main party who can understand exactly how he got into that position once the full extent of it has been revealed

At no point did I feel that Bravely Second’s added lore hampered the game, or ruined what I knew from the first game (I can easily ignore how silly it is that “oh all of the asterisk holders you killed last game were actually alive!” because I understand how much extra effort it would have been to design all new holders for old asterisks just to justify their inclusion in the game. It also might backfire for fans of the original characters who’d want to see their old favorites included.) Bravely Second’s lore expansions are only ever beneficial to its narrative. The expansion of the Celestial lore and the Plague, largely footnotes in Default, are turned into driving parts of the narrative in ways that only seem to make the world feel larger and older. Lived in. I can only hope that Bravely Third, or whatever it end up being called, keeps up the trend

And Bravely Default didn’t have the happiest of endings, with Ringabel getting a second shot to save his version of the party, but at the cost of abandoning the friends he’s made on this journey. Tiz is comatose, Til and Olivia are still dead, Edea is alone, and Agnès is left to reform her entire religion while fully believing that one of her friends is gone forever and the love of her life may never wake up. I am extremely grateful for being able to take that bittersweet ending and make it a happy one

On top of the amazing graphical upgrades, which stay true to the feel of BD while making everything feel grander, and the tweaks to the battle system to allow for minor enemy variation and the Another Round feature, which gives some incentive to carefully managing BP consumption, and some really fun new jobs, and I’d say I like Bravely Second even more than Bravely Default! (And browsing the internet, it seems like that’s an unpopular opinion. Dunno why, might be the fact that Second is goofier in its first half than the overall tone of Default and relies less on nostalgia for old RPGs). Bravely Second is where I feel the series went from a neat homage with some interesting gameplay innovations to a real adventure with its own unique world and story to tell

So what about the main characters, then? I’m gonna consider the main characters Yew, Magnolia, Edea, Tiz, Altair, Denys, and Anne, as they’re the ones who arguably drive most of the plot

Yew Geneolgia is the character that I was most worried about when I started playing this game. I was really expecting him to just be “Tiz but Younger” and I was happily surprised by what I got. If the liveblog didn’t make it clear, I LOVE YEW. He is such a genuinely sweet boy, who’s chipper and nerdy and so dedicated to his loved ones and I can’t help but relate to him. He’s like the perfect little brother I always wanted (I love my actual younger brothers but they ain’t perfect). His growth is incredible. He goes from a scared kid singing off-key to himself in the woods to keep calm to staring down the god of the realm of people that act as gods to him and telling him to get lost, all without ever losing his kind and dorky nature. He learns the importance of taking your mistakes and growing with them. His sense of familial duty is so wonderful to see, and he serves as an excellent foil to last game’s lead character, Tiz. We went from a low-class farmer and dutiful older brother to a high-class noble and dutiful younger brother, and the flip in perspective with the lead characters only serves to highlight the flip in perspective on the story as a whole. Yew is a Good Boy™ and I couldn’t ask for a better lead character in the game, especially since he’s not even on the cover of any version of the game? Bravely Second is Yew’s story and it’s a damn good one

Magnolia Arch is... honestly kind of underwhelming? She was marketed as the big female lead of the game, she’s the star of the teaser at the end of the international version of Bravely Default, she’s on the cover of some versions of the game! And I... uh... I like her just fine, but I don’t feel like she really served much purpose. She’s got a nice design, I like how sweet she is and her sense of curiosity as a newcomer to Luxendarc, but I don’t feel like she had much... point? She really feels like she was just there to introduce the major plot point of the Ba’als and be a love interest for Yew. I just can’t think of anything she really contributed to the game besides that. I don’t hate her by any means, I just wish there was a bit more to her than minor worldbuilding, especially with all of the buildup she got

Edea Lee is the person I would call the actual female lead of the game, just a different part of the game than Yew is. She’s the protagonist of the sidequests (sans the Yōkai quest, where she gets slightly lesser billing than Yew, but is still a major focal character.) Also, like Yew, she had little marketing. I really respect what they did with Edea. She was one of the most developed characters last game, having her whole arc where she learned to see the shades of gray in morality. So where do you go from there? How do you keep the character interesting without contradicting or repeating their character development from the last game? And my god did they do it with Edea. I love how she legitimately seems to have grown up in Second. She’s learned to see the complexities of situations and acts as a mentor figure to Yew, while still retaining her spitfire qualities... in the main story at least. Her development is actually about taking what she learned in the last game and applying it to a leadership role (which is what the sidequests are supposed to do, but really fail at in execution. More below.) She gets a different arc that complements her arc from last game, where she takes what she learned and now has to figure out how to apply it to a new role. The focus is less on learning to be a decent leader and mediator. It’s a continuation of her character, and it works really well. Ultimately, I’m happy with what we got of Edea (in the main story not... not necessarily Sidequest Edea, who may as well be a different character impersonating the real Edea for how much they have in common)

Tiz Arrior has a similar dilemma to Edea, and a different solution. What do we do with a character who’s already had a full game to be developed? Edea got a new arc that extends off of her first one, taking it in a new and mature direction. With Tiz, however, they decided that he would remain flat in Second, since he got the development in Default and seems content with where he is, personality wise. Like Edea, he’s placed in a mentor role, which I do really enjoy, but Tiz’s real strength in this game is how they used him for worldbuilding. He’s the perfect avenue to explore more of the lore surrounding Celestials, being the closest character to them thanks to his bond with one in the last game. So what does Bravely Second do? What it does best. It takes plot beats from the original and flips the perspective to give the player a new and better understanding of its world and characters. In this case, they take Tiz’s Celestial bond from the first game and give him a new Celestial to bond with, who is more than happy to exposit on his world and the world of Luxendarc. Like Magnolia, I feel like Tiz is much more of a worldbuilding device than a character in Bravely Second, though unlike Magnolia I can excuse this since Tiz already had a whole game that he was the main character of to be developed. We already like Tiz, so he has nothing to prove to us, and it feels good to see him get his delayed happy ending. Weird, though, how the two characters shown on box art for this game have the least impact as characters, though I suppose you could argue that they’re both tied to the main plot though other means. Other means such as...

Altair. Oh, Altair. You weird vegetable-loving alien man. He really grew on me, actually. I find it really interesting that despite constantly stating that the player is a Celestial and implying that the real world is the Celestial Realm, Altair comes in and almost seems to contradict that. Through him, we learn more about the Celestial Realm and, by extension, who and what kind of entity the Player is in this story. Is he aware of who we are? Who knows! He’s a good avenue of lore that I’m fond of. And if Yew is the emotional heart of the main story, then Altair is the emotional heart of the climax. His bond with Vega is what drives a lot of the overarching plot, and it’s a sweet romance. I dunno, I like Altair. I wish he was a little more meta-involved, and gave a little more info about the Celestial Realm, but he did good for what he needed to be. Team Dad’s good

Denys Geneolgia is tied for my favorite character with Yew and I’d talk about him but I already did and nothing’s really changed about my opinions since then, though the rewritten talk with Anne might need to be changed since she apparently doesn’t even know the player exists on the second loop, somehow. Oh well. I wouldn’t be upset if he was a party member in Bravely Third though *wink* *wink*

Anne is cool. Anne is a good foil to Airy, and my rage at realizing that she’s been playing the player since the beginning of Bravely Default is definitely a highlight. She’s a good foil to her sister from the last game. I mean she’s basically Airy taken up to 11 and without the pretense of being a good guy in this game. No, she got that out of her system last game and is in full blown Manipulative Bitch mode this game. She’s a fun villain to have on screen. Very punchable. I’m not sure if there’s much more to say about her, though. I would have loved to see her interact with the player more than the one scene where she taunts us. Just really rub it in that even though we’re a god in Luxendarc, she still managed to deceive us. Maybe expand on her relationship with Airy a little more, focus a bit more on her status as a foil to Denys. She’s a good antagonist, I just would’ve done more with her

We’ve covered the good, so what’s the bad? The sidequests. I’ve gone on a lot about the sidequests but I cannot stress enough how much I disliked all but the Chapter 6 sidequests. They are so formulaic, and that formula actually hampers the story they’re trying to tell with them. The sidequests are Edea’s spot to shine, and I can so clearly see what they were trying to do with them. They’re training Edea for her role as the Grand Marshal of Eternia, where she will end up facing two forces that oppose each other and have to make a decision about her nation’s involvement, which becomes evident during the Templar quest, which all of these seem to be leading up to. The problem, though, is that they’re trying to set up Edea as a mediator and then outright contradict that by having her just choose a side with no thought of compromise, desperately try to validate her choice as the only correct one, frequently claim that the other side’s argument has no merit, and then beats them down to make them agree with her. I mean, what!? That’s not mediating! That’s not my Edea!

By forcing us to make a binary choice, they completely gloss over any moral ambiguity in the situation, and the epilogues always focus more on how Edea feels about her choice, and not the impact that the choice has on the world as a whole. I can somewhat understand why they wanted to implement a choice system into the sidequests to make use of the second loop, but good gracious does it NOT WORK. And it doesn’t help that at least half of, if not 2/3 of, the sidequests try to make a situation morally ambiguous that really shouldn’t be? Or that has a clear correct answer? And all the rest are just really petty disagreements and none of them expand upon the world or characters in any meaningful way. Edea’s sidequest story of becoming a great mediator to make her father proud and grow into the role of Grand Marshal could have gone somewhere if that was a consistent thread between them and not a concept that solely exists in the Templar quest that tries to make the rest look good with hindsight. They really were the worst part of the game. The narratives weren’t enjoyable and the gameplay was just repetitive. Meet two bosses from the last game, listen to grievances, go through old dungeon from last game, pick a boss to fight, meaningless resolution. Rinse. Repeat. But in all honesty, the poorly written sidequests are my only big criticism of the game, and they’re entirely skippable to the average player. (I don’t recommend that you skip them because they offer useful jobs, but you certainly could if you wanted to)

Overall, I’d give Bravely Second a solid A. It is, unquestionably, one of the best games I’ve played in a while. Which is almost word-for-word what my final verdict for Bravely Default was in the email mentioned at the beginning of this post. This series consistently manages to suck me in and keep me invested in its world and characters. I adore it. I love the Bravely series so much and I’d happily buy whatever they come out with next so long as they never try that sidequest stuff ever again. Ever. (Though playing the game is probably gonna mean buying a Switch. Mmmm.)

Moving forward, what are my hopes for the hinted at Bravely Third? Ringabel’s certainly been teased a bit, so I’d hope to see him make a return. Especially as a playable character. I’d love to see his role with the Planeswardens expanded on and what their impact on the lore is. I could easily see Magnolia returning as a playable character, too, just for that little bit of extra development that she desperately needs and her implied relationship with the Planeswardens. I’d really love it if they brought Denys back and made him a playable character, finally giving him an actual, well-crafted character arc. Not to mention that his ties to both the Sword of the Brave and the Eye of Foundar make him an excellent candidate for the plot that the end of Bravely Second teased (also gives me more Geneolgia brothers content).

Story-wise, Bravely Default was centered around parallel worlds (or space), and Bravely Second explored the concept of time, so perhaps we could see alternate Realms/dimensions in Bravely Third. It would be interesting to see them expand upon the lore of the Celestial Realm, especially now that there are characters aware of the Player’s existence, such as Denys and Magnolia. Having Deneb around could also be an interesting choice, as she’d certainly know what the cataclysm in the Celestial Realm was and the capabilities of the Celestial Beings, since she is one. I’ve seen the idea of Deneb as a party member thrown around, and I wouldn’t be against it. Maybe if the whole party was made up of people aware of the Player’s existence, we could have more Player-party interactions. Dialogue choices in cutscenes for us, maybe, where we can talk directly to the party

I wouldn’t be against a Ringabel-Magnolia-Denys-Deneb party. I think that could work really well. Just a team composed of blond boys and silver-haired girls

I love Yew Geneolgia to death, but I think I’d keep him as a side character. He’s already had his story, though a look into what he did after Bravely Second would be much appreciated. Show me my son who reformed the Crystalguard and became the most well-loved member of House Geneolgia in history! At least give me a good sibling reunion! Give me the hug between Denys and Yew that I was robbed of in Bravely Second!

Don’t undo any of the happy endings everyone got. Tiz and Agnès are happily married and retired, and Ringabel and Magnolia make it back home safe to their significant others post-Bravely Third

I guess I’d also kinda like to see a good Cryst-Fairy around at some point. I like the idea I’ve seen around of the Player having their own fairy servant. That could be fun to play with. Maybe with those Party-Player chats I mentioned our dialogue choices could be telling our fairy what to tell the party. Speaking through our own, personal Cryst-Fairy, if you will. Though again, if we’re still expanding the lore, maybe they could go into the state of being of Cryst-Fairies more. Anne gave us a bit to work with, so I suppose I just want more elaboration on how they’re all siblings, how they feel about being siblings, etc. Maybe there’s a good fairy and a bad fairy in the same game and they bicker like real siblings

Also, can they give us confirmation as to whether Yōko was a Luxendarc native or not? And if not, can we see her home realm? That’d be cool. I’d like to see the Yōkai world please

I guess that’s really it, though. For now, that’s all I have to say on the Bravely series! Again, I’d like to give a huge thanks to everyone who’s read through the liveblog and/or commented on any of the parts of it. Seriously, you guys rock and I don’t know if the liveblog would’ve gotten as big as it did if it wasn’t for you guys and the support you provided. If any of you guys want to chat, don’t be afraid to hit me up. My ask box is always open

So! I’ve been Liz, this has been Liz Liveblogs Bravely Second, and I hope to see you all again if/when Bravely Third drops so we can all get lost in the world of Luxendarc together one more time!

[justherefortaylorswift]

there’s glitter on the floor after the party...

Taylor,

*About 9 days ago, on May 22nd, 2018, I had just arrived home from your Seattle show at CenturyLink Field. It was 4am and I couldn’t sleep. I had so much on my mind and was still on a high from your show. So, in the early hours of the morning, after my friends had long gone to bed, I began to write. I’ve revised my original note quite a bit since then. I’ve also had the opportunity to do some additional reflecting since tour, and I have some thoughts. So, I guess this is the end-result of a mash-up of 4AM overly-emotional rambling, combined with well thought-out, fully coherent, mature writing. I feel like I really over-explained this. I could have been a lot less-awkward in setting this up. Let's just get into it:

[SO. I just got home from your Seattle show. It's 4 am and I can't sleep. This was my 6th tour, and I made what seems like an infinite amount of unforgettable memories with a group of incredible people I call my ‘Swiftie Fam” (the name needs work...). There's Cecil (my long-time, Canadian Swiftie friend, you’ll see him in earlier posts), Wanda (Cecil’s wife), Kaeden (7. Cecil & Wanda’s son. Major Swiftie. His first concert!), and finally the beautiful Maile (a recent addition to the fam, and now a life-long friend!).  It’s hard to explain in words, but we all have developed a connection that’s special and unique because of what we experienced together. I couldn’t have asked for a better group of people to stand by my side tonight. We danced, laughed, and cried together… I don’t think I’ve ever felt more understood. These people ‘get’ me.

Not surprisingly, I screamed every single lyric at the top of my lungs and subsequently lost my voice almost IMMEDATIELY. With that in mind, I suppose a more accurate description would be: I wasn’t so much singing, as I was gasping for the remainder of the show. I literally danced with until I was out of breath. I cried (ok, SOBBED) all of my make-up off (a Long Live/NYD mash-up… are you kidding me?! I FEEL ATTACKED). 

By the end of the night, I resembled a pathetic, overly-emotional, glittery, drowned rat.

and I was living my absolute best life.

Also, I was REALLY proud of our outfits this time around! I think we did a decent job of recreating your Direct TV commercial, with my rainbow two-piece, and Cecil’s interpretation of Olivia Benson dressed as a Caticorn (I can’t say I ever thought I’d use that in a sentence). It consisted of around 8-10 hours total of gluing, painting, and hand-sewing, leading up to the show. Everything turned out awesome, way better than expected. Totally worth the man hours! Wanda hand-made matching these adorable matching t-shirts for her and little Kaden (Big Rep & Little Rep), and Maile constructed a beautiful MASTERPIECE from the mountain LYWMMD outfit- it was freakin’ incredible and HOT!

There was something a bit different about this tour for a couple of reasons:

[The production.] I don’t think I’ve experienced such sensory-overload in my LIFE. The whole time it was like a constant stream of frantic, internal dialogue with a lot of run-on sentences, like, “WHAT IS HAPPENING SHE’S GIVING US CHOREO OMG YAAASSS WERK HONEY IF A MAN TALKS SHIT WE DON'T OWE HIM A DAMN THING OH MY GOD ITS RAINING CONFETTI I MUST COLLECT IT I HOPE THESE MULTI-COLORED FLASHING LIGHTS DON’T GIVE ME AN EPILEPTIC ATTACK WHERE THE F-CK DID THESE GIGANTIC SNAKES COME FROM THERE ARE LITERALLY STAGES EVERYWHERE I’M OVERWHELMED OH SHIT SHES PULLING A SPEAK NOW BY WALKING THROUGH THE CROWD WHAT'S GOING ON OH GOD F-CKING FIREWORKS THESE VOCALS ARE LIT THO I'M SWEATING I’M DEFINITELY GONNA NEED THERAPY AFTER THIS NEW YEARS DAY/LONG LIVE MASH UP IS THAT A FOUNTAIN WHATS HAPPENING OH GOD IT’S REAL WATER AND SHE’S IN THE FOUNTAIN I’M HAVING A 2008 SHOULD’VE SAID NO ACM AWARDS FLASHBACK MOMENT HOLY SH-T MORE F-CKING FIREWORKS SO MUCH PYRO IS THIS EVEN LEGAL” I’ve gotta say, you have BEST band (Paul, Amos and Mike..OGS), vocalists (Eliott and Kamilah…the TALENT), and all the dancers. Every single person on that stage was on FIRE, and their talent, passion, and individual personalities made the night sparkle.

[The fans.] I freaking adore this fan culture. I’ve never met a Swiftie who wasn’t ridiculously friendly, welcoming, and super relatable. The vibe was so positive. I’ve never smiled, waved and taken pictures with so many random strangers in my life. It felt as if we were literally in a different world that day. It felt like home.

[YOU!.]  We need to talk about this major GLO UP you’ve got going on, honey. You exude SO much confidence and you're just pure sunshine. When I think about the way you’ve carried yourself these past couple of years through all of the BS drama, I can’t help but feel damn proud. You’ve successfully converted pain into art, into music. Real music, that’s poignant, raw, and just BAD ASS. Your lyrics continue to foster a special connection you maintain with the audience...a connection that often times breathes life into brokenness.

I felt like the luckiest girl in the entire world tonight. 

This may have been my best concert experience ever, which is actually pretty ironic because:

Unlike Red, I wasn’t in the Pit

I didn’t have VIP seating, like 1989

You weren’t close enough for any potential high fives, waves, or eye contact like I experienced at Speak Now at B-Stage

We were not chosen for Rep Room (or T-Party, Club Red, or Loft 89)

…But, it was OK. It was way more than OK. It was truly a dream.

Listen: Something I've always deeply admired about you is that you make it a priority to maintain a personal relationship with the fans.  It’s clear you want to meet as many of us as possible, and you make a conscious effort to do so. You get to know us as individuals and you CARE, and that means everything us and makes such an impact. I mean, you invite us into your HOME for crying out loud, you walk through massive crowds and give high-fives, you lurk our Instagrams and Tumblrs and interact on social media, and you always make a notable effort to meet as many of us as possible at tour.

However, this can sometimes turn into a bit of a "Catch 22" situation for people. The downside, is that it’s honestly SUPER easy to fall into the “trap” of being consumed with the possibility of meeting you after your shows. Due to the fact that the “selection” process is both intentional, yet also random. To be transparent, it's quite difficult to not obsess with the idea of ‘trying’ to get chosen. I witness this behavior so often, in others and in myself just as much, if not more. Selfishly, I often feel not only jealous, but UPSET when I see photos/read experiences of other fans meeting you. I sometimes feel like the only one who hasn’t yet gotten the opportunity.  It can quickly turn into a mind-game if you're not careful, which has the potential to become toxic if we allow the idea of meeting you to rule supreme over what it's actually about...which is the MUSIC. And, this amazing show you put on for us night after night. And somewhat understandably so, I've witnessed the obsession with being chosen to meet you become a main focus point for a lot of us (including myself a bit!). It's pretty stressful, and can easily dampen or cheapen the concert experience, if you're not careful. As dramatic as this probably sounds, Tumblr (and social media) can be brutal within this fandom, and dare I say ‘cut-throat’ at times. It's easy to get upset watching (what seems like) literally EVERYONE get that opportunity, except you. 

That said, I had a wake-up call/mini-epiphany recently, which manifested while driving home from your show at Midnight on May 22nd with my friends, feeling so amazing and so grateful for what I just experienced…but also a little guilty because I feel like I’ve spent way too much time worrying about the possibility of meeting at you when you come to Seattle, how to get the attention of Taylor Nation, where to find Mama Swift, getting that guitar pick from Papa Swift, and this time was no different. Granted, my intentions are 100% pure and it’s only because you’ve meant so freakin much to me for so many years, and it's almost as if my life won’t be complete until I finally get to tell you in person. That said, there is certainty a valuable lesson to be learned here. I am confident that you and I will come face-to-face one day (hopefully with my Swifie fam!). The stars will align at the exactly the right time, and I will have my moment with you, and it will be SO worth the wait. You can't "force" stuff like this, you know? The privilege of meeting you is almost ‘sacred’ in a sense. At least in my opinion. Anyway, my point is: I refuse to a continue to attempt to “create fate” by attempting to "earn" my worthiness in fandom. It’s not productive, it's not healthy, and it’s not cute.

Alright, this is getting out of hand. I need to wrap this up. 🤣 I’m not sure whether or not you’ve seen any of my throwback photo-posts I posted the week leading up to the show. They definitely explain a lot more about me, and my history being a fan. Either way, I must reiterate how grateful I am to have you in my life, and that support you 100% and will always be here. The amount of hope, joy and comfort you've given me over the past 10+ years is insurmountable, and I'll never be able to repay you for that. And I mean that in the most sincere way. Not a lot of things make me as happy as you make me (especially lately). This experience was the ‘boost’ I needed, I think. And like I said, the relationship I have with my friends/Swiftie Fam is invaluable, and I look forward to making memories with them at your shows in the future. You’ve brought the most random group of people together and created a bond that’s unique, unconditional and unbreakable, and I think that’s so cool.

This was A LOT longer than I originally intended it to be. This escalated quickly. Haha. Thanks for listening. 💗

Don’t read the last page…]

Love you, T

Crystal

@taylorswift

@taylornation

@ceunit

@maileswiftie

[photos]:  1) The whole crew: Cecil, Wanda, Kaeden, Maile and myself at our seats. 2) Kaeden the night before the show. SO EXCITED!! 3) Testing out the Caticorn onesie w/ Cecil 4) Cecil and myself FULLY DECKED and ready to go. 5) Wanda and Kaeden: Big Rep & Lil’ Rep! 6) the girls! Maile, Wanda and Me pre-show 7) Us at the end of the show! And yes, that’s me in the middle..in disbelief, exhausted, sweaty, and a physical and emotional wreck (see also: ‘drowned rat’ description above). 8) All of us after the show literally in a hotel lobby (and glitter on the floor after the party!), waiting for traffic to die down before we headed home.

[smokeybrand]

Smokey brand Movie Reviews: Well, Sh*t, Diana

I’m not a fan of the DCEU. I think they make capeflicks the wrong way. Sure, i absolutely understand there is artistic merit in he creation process and i do love a different interpretation of a character but there are certain elements that absolutely have to hit in order to make your version of the character, true to the core character. Spider-Man is a geek, Iron Man is an arrogant asshole with a heart of gold, and cap is a roided out boy scout. Unless the character has some nebulous history, like Donna Troy or Captain Marvel, the blue print for creating the characters is right there. Someone needs to be in charge to make sure you follow the plan. someone needs to be the one to reel you in when you stray too far from what’s been established before you go from Batman to Rorschach I know it sounds like i don’t like DC but that’s not true. I love them. Not as much as Marvel but i still dig their stories. Mostly. Hell, The Dark Knight is one of my all-time favorite films. I’m not saying they need to be as good as that but at least give me recognizable version of the characters, especially when there are excellent adaptions like this out there for comparison. Just because you CALL your movie a Superman movie, doesn’t mean it IS a Superman movie, ya dig? With that in mind, here’s hat i thought of Wonder Woman 1984.

The Good

Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman hits it out of the ark. This is the best I've ever seen her act in her short career. Look, i know she’s been doing it for a while now, but it's be honest; Wonder Woman is literally the strongest role she’s had to date. The emotional complexity of Diana Prince is easily the most nuanced character Gadot has ever played to this point and it took a while for her to really nail that as a reality. WW84 really demonstrates how Gadot has finally found a happy medium between her acting ability and the strengths of the character. I was a little sus when she was cast originally but immediately got on board when it turned out that she as the best thing about BvS. Since then, shes continued to grow with the character and seeing the ultimate version of her interpretation was a joy to watch.

Chris Pine as Steve Trevor was Chris Pine. Look, he’s great at his job. Dude knows his range and he stays in that lane perfectly. This makes his characters kind of same-t, you’d be hard-pressed to tell me the difference between Trevor and his version of Kirk, but I'm not mad either way. It’s always a delight seeing he show up to steal a few scenes then disappearing before overstaying his welcome.

I legitimately love the chemistry between Gadot and Pine. They are great together onscreen and it really lends a bit of authenticity to their relationship in the film. The way Trevor returns is wonky as f*ck and I'll get into that in a minute, but it was good to see him up there with Diana, for sure.

Pedro Pascal as this version of Maxwell Lord was pretty okay. I generally enjoy Pascal’s work, specifically on The Mandalorian and GoT, and he executes here to that inspired degree. He does an able job being a different kind of foil to Diana’s different kind of hero and it all works. Even if this version of the character does not.

Kristen Wiig’s Barbara Minerva was delightful. Look, i love Wiig, man. She’s great in everything she’s in. There is a charisma to her that only the very best SNL alumni can claim to have and it makes it really difficult not to root for Wiig in her projects. I mean, i paid money to see her version of Ghostbusters! Legit disappointed with that nonsense but i went because i like Wiig and she was the star. I was not disappointed in her performance as Minerva. No, she was exceptional as that character. I was, however, put off by her version of Cheetah but I'll get to that, too...

This movie is gorgeous. I’m an Eighties baby so seeing that whole aesthetic is always fun. Takes me back to when i was young. Part of the reason i love Stranger Things is because of that nostalgia. WW84 doesn’t execute as thoroughly as that show in their Reagan era retro run, but it’s serviceable. Big hair, big shoulders, big colors; It’s all there and it’s fantastic.

The effects are a little hit or miss but, overall, they’re okay. Certain aspects of this film’s super abilities, that fantastical sh*t which makes this a capeflick, could have been visualized better but i get why they weren’t. Most of my gripes with this type of stuff are nitpicks and you get over them pretty quickly. Most, not all.

Patty Jenkins is getting more and more comfortable behind the camera in films like this. The action in WW84 is much more detailed, much better shot, than in it’s predecessor. Free from Snyder’s grimdark influence, we have a relatively bright, relatively light, take on Wondy akin to the old camp from the Seventies show and i kind of dig it. It’ a choice and i commend Jenkins for making it.

The score is great. I mean, it’s Hans Zimmer, man. When does he ever drop the ball on sh*t like this? His score is actually incredibly important to this flick. There’s not a lot of action in it, thing is almost a character study or morality parable dressed up as a capeflick, so you need that extra impact to get you over the expository hump. Simmer delivers this with a delicate and powerful companion soundtrack. One could make the argument that this score is the best thing about Wonder Woman 84. I’m not, but one could.

The Monkey's Paw effect was executed pretty well in this flick. I was surprised by the level of escalation and how it all kind of made sense. I'd say that the writing was great because of that but it really isn't, just this one aspect.

That Lynda Carter cameo, tho.

The Bad

I hate this plot so much, man. The overall narrative is goddamn convoluted and a little inept. The primary conflict seems incredibly forced and the absolute hurdles this thing had to do in order to shoehorn Trevor back into the story is f*cking disappointing. It’s effectively Heaven Can Wait with Amazons, magic wishes, furry nudity, and Eighties excess. This sounds like a dope ass anime but it’s not. It’s a wonky, uneven, adequate time spent with contrived nonsense.

This is easily some of the weakest dialogue I've ever heard in my life. I cannot stress enough that I absolutely understand this is a capeflick so I'm not expecting Shakespeare but at least give me something better than this.

I hate this version of Maxwell Lord. Look, in the book, this dude was evil Batman. He bested the entire Justice league, every last one of them, with his sheer brilliance and terrifying capability. He achieved absolute victory over DC’s heroes prompting Diana to literally break his neck to rob him of his triumph. It’s wild to see. She actually thinks about it. Wonder Woman pauses, contemplates her options, and them murders Lord in cold blood, in front of Superman, and just walks away from dude’s corpse! It was brutal and understand. Maxwell Lord was a f*cking problem and he was only going to get worse. WW84′s version is not a problem and could have been much, much, better.

Full-blown Cheetah is gross looking. The effects for her wholly CG body are f*cking terrible, man. Obviously, they frame this “fight” at night to hide all of that but it’s still really, really, bad. I understand that there’s a budget that you have to hit but, f*ck, you couldn’t give me Rebirth version of Cheetah with two hundred million dollars? Word? I shouldn’t be surprised about this, all of the DCEU CG villains look like sh*t, but how hard is it to execute Cheetah properly? The Mortal Kombat guys did it for a game but you can’t do it for a movie? Really?

This feels like a throwback capeflick and i have a real issue with that. Of course, i like the old versions of superhero movies. Donner’s Superman and Burton’s Batman will always mean a great deal to me but we are beyond that now. We have a better understanding of how to do this now. It’s a legitimate film genre with prestige pieces and everything. Why the f*ck are we looking back instead of forward with this movie? I imagine the cartoonish nature of this movie was a conscious choice by Jenkins but it definitely feels like a miscalculation on her part.

There are a great many plot holes and loose threads left unexplored. Why didn't Barbara lose her powers when Maxwell lost his? That convoy really didn't see them f*cking kids in the road? How and why did she go full Cheetah for that matter? Why does Steve look like himself to Diana when he doesn't even look like himself to himself? How the f*ck did Barbara just walk into the whole ass White House like that? While on the the subject of Barbara, what the f*ck was the cost of her wish? Was the the Cheetah thing? None of that was very clear. Will Stagg get out of prison for the tax fraud thing in the beginning? I get that I shouldn't b e analyzing this movie to the extent that I am but it's so loose with its own internal logic, I can't help it.

Two and a half hours is a real big ask, man. This flick did not need this run time. You could easily trim thirty to forty minutes off this thing and still have a really compelling watch. As it is, there's too much time for the pacing to get dumb and, boy, does it get dumb.

The Verdict

Wonder Woman 1984 isn’t a Wondy flick. It’s a generic superhero vehicle that happens to have Diana slotted in the pole position. You could have put any character and their main love interest in these roles and it would have worked out fine with little to no tweaking. This sequel feels uninspired in a lot of ways. It’s completely devoid of the emotional weight that first run carried. I can’t say it’s terrible, though, because i know what else is in the catalog to this point. WW84 is still one of the best in the DCEU and that says way more about the franchise than it does this flick. It’s not all bad, however. I did enjoy Gadot as Wondy. She’s come a long way and you can see just how comfortable she is as Diana. Chris Pine is going to Chris Pine. His Steve Trevor is, once again, the best thing about this movie. Rather, his and Gadot’s chemistry is the best thing about this movie. The newcomers are pretty okay as well.

I always enjoy Pedro Pascal and this version of Maxwell Lord ain’t terrible but it is way too different from the core character for me to really get on board Just write a different character, you know? Nothing on the page about this version of Lord, come anywhere near the violent mastermind from the books and i think that’s a very real missed opportunity. I was a little sus of the Kristen Wiig casting for Barbara Minerva but she pulled it off. I really enjoyed her as Cheetah literally until she actually be Cheetah. i was curious why the marketing refused to show her in full-blown Cheetara mode and, when i saw it, i understood. They should have let those effects cook a little longer. That’s the theme of this entire flick, though, wen i think about it; Sh*t should have cooked a little longer.

WW84 is a decent watch, if a little long in the tooth. It;s mad campy, saccharine sweet at points, and is definitely a capeflick envisioned through the eyes of a woman. It’s not bad, mind you, it’s just not that good, either. Everything seems almost but not quite. The villains are almost compelling but not quite. Diana’s entire arc in this seems almost cathartic but not quite. The necessity of Steve Trevor seems justified but not quite. This thing just misses the mark and yet, somehow, it’s still one of the best in the DCEU catalog. hat sh*t just boggles my mind, man. If you know your Amazonian lore like i do, this film can be frustrating at time. If you’re a fan of the DCEU, you’ll probably enjoy this flick. If you’re a fan of this version of the Wondy myths, then 84 is definitely for you. There is enough other stuff here to entertain and distract so it’s an okay time overall. The first one is still the best out of the lot, though.

[orderuponthe99prettygrimmdiaries]

Happy (late) December 🎄 Beautiful Christmas, Christmas Beautiful (Rushers, you get me 😉)

Okay, was gonna get into this a bit earlier, but got distracted by lil baby Ocean. Man, Ocean Therapy is really the best thing to take my mind off things :’) 

Guess this will be my Welcome December post (super late, looks like I’m always late for everything now omg), wanted to do it earlier but #mebeingme :”) 

So today wasn’t exactly perfect, I mean, when has it ever? But gotta be positive and appreciative, right? So the great thing was I managed to catch up with a couple friends, one of them being my online friend who I’ve known almost 8 years now, which is crazy to think about it cos I guess I’ve known her longer than I know most people. Another friend reached out too, but decided not to meet up with them (yet) cos.. well, let’s just say “self care”. And another online friend, which I was so stressed out over because she went MIA for over a month. I freaked out for a while, but I reached out to her, and found out that her phone was dead. Huge sigh of relief. 

Kinda made a new friend on Tumblr too, well, maybe not, we spoke like once, but it was nice while it lasted. Got to see a couple nice response to my #8YearsOfBTR post :’) So thank you Rusher fam! Oh and ofc getting Kames on #KoffeeWithKendall, AMAZING. AND, James releasing a Christmas song too! 

OMG I just realized this is kinda becoming like a part 2 Thanksgiving post 😅 Guess the positivity and being thankful thing is really working out 😝 And I do have quite a lot to be thankful for! Like the epic Crisis on Earth X crossover, well, basically probably every single show I watch cos they all help me in a way, to keep my mind busy so I don’t spend my time overthinking. (Again, still haven’t gotten to my throwback post yet, probably soon, before 2018) Oh, and of course, this new game I found, Disney Magic Kingdoms. Totally obsessed with it, and a new event starting tonight, so YAY! 

Speaking of, HOW IS IT ALMOST 2018?! Gah, time really flies. 

So.. I’ve been talking about getting myself help, and a couple weeks back, I finally plucked up the courage to do make an appointment for counselling, but then I was told that they were moving to a new location so they couldn’t take in any newbies. At the moment, I was really upset, and I felt the person who rejected me didn’t exactly handle it the best way she could. I ended up looking up for alternatives and I found e-counselling, which I feel I might be more comfortable with (though maybe not as helpful in a way). I ended up talking to a guy who taught me about cognitive behaviour and stuff. It was quite helpful talking to someone. I haven’t exactly gone back to it, even though I’ve been feeling a bit on and off, especially with the dreams I’m having of him these couple days. I think I probably will get back to e-counselling soon, or at least going back to 7 Cups or something to talk to someone. 

And it’s been months but I still haven’t gotten back to finding a job. Sometimes I wonder if I’m not meant to find one yet and work on myself. But then again, I have rejected a couple because I didn’t feel comfortable with it.. But I guess I gotta step out of my comfort zone too.. And the other thing, I always preach that “everything happens for a reason”, but some things happen because of our choices, so is that all part of some “greater plan” too? Like making a wrong choice, will we still be brought back to our path? I’m guessing so, but then again, we Kendall also says sometimes opportunities come once in a lifetime, so what if some chances are gone and would never be back? 

Clearly I’m an overthinker on basically EVERYTHING, something I really need to work on. I wonder if it’s really possible to kind of shut off my thoughts, cos doesn’t really seem so. 

Okay, I’ve been rambling a little too much, so I guess that’s it for now. But it was really nice to let all my thoughts out. 

TGI(almost)F and happy holidays to all! 

Xx 

[murasaki-murasame]

Danganronpa V3 Liveblog Part 17 [Chapter 5 - Trial]

Aaaaahhhhhhhh.

Thoughts under the cut.

I don’t even know where to start with this one. There were like . . . a thousand things that happened that I could talk about first. Wow. This goddamn trial sure took me for a spin and left me completely dazed and overwhelmed and depressed by the end.

I probably should have seen Kaito being the culprit coming. I just assumed that it would be ‘too easy’, since it was the second most obvious answer after Kokichi. But I can definitely say that even if the ‘who’ wasn’t too inherently difficult, the ‘how’ sure as fuck was.

It’s slightly lame that a good amount of the mystery of this trial revolved around stuff that only happens during the trial itself, but it’s fine. The shit that went down in this trial was oh so worth it.

Funnily enough, the thing I thought was a spoiler about Kaito being a culprit probably wasn’t actually intended as a spoiler for it, but it still lead me to the right conclusion. I saw a spoiler-free review that talked about how some of the motives in this game are lame, and I vaguely remember them mentioning the idea of someone killing because they had a terminal illness, which immediately made me think of Kaito once that whole plot point started up, but since his motive for murder had nothing to do with his illness, I think that person was just throwing out a generic example of a cliche motive, but it just so happened to still point at someone who ended up being a culprit anyway. They probably should have chosen a different example, lol.

Anyway, this trial was just sorta . . . insane. Wow. I wasn’t even able to definitively guess that the person in the Exisal was Kaito because his entire demeanor, especially when he switched over to ‘being Kaito’, felt too uncharacteristic of him to be true. But it was pretty obvious that it wasn’t actually Kokichi. Though even then, I still wasn’t sure if that meant Kaito was actually the killer.

Especially with the mid-trial swerve of Maki seeming to be the culprit, and genuinely believing herself to be the culprit. I was skeptical about the idea of the killer being spelled out before the intermission phase happened, but her whole story seemed too good not to be true.

I really, really liked this whole trial’s set-up of having both a mystery victim and a mystery killer. That was a really interesting idea. Especially with the additional layer of it being intended as ‘a mystery that even Monokuma can’t solve’. It made things feel incredibly baffling. In a good way.

The most negative thing I can say about the mystery itself was probably that, in the end, it ended up being almost exactly the same sort of scenario as case five in DR2, with a character setting up an insane murder mystery with themselves as the victim, set up in a way to expose and destroy the mastermind. They definitely played out in different ways, but the similarity was a bit too hard to ignore.

As a whole, though, it was great. It at least felt more satisfying than chapter four, even though I get in hindsight that chapter four’s trial was ‘unsatisfying’ for very intentional reasons.

It even made me warm up to Kokichi a lot as a character, which I wasn’t expecting. Now that his motives and feelings are more or less clear, it’s easier for me to understand him and appreciate his choices. I still can’t help but see him as a version of Komaeda that has a more off-putting personality, though. He’s definitely a fun character, but his personality just irritates me a lot of the time.

The first half or so of the trial wasn’t super hard in terms of the logic and the minigames, but it definitely picked up in the latter half once things got more and more weird and complicated. That was good. Sometimes the exact logic behind certain things still bugs me, though. I think I mentioned it before, but the ‘pick one of your truth bullets from the full list’ parts can sometimes feel a bit non-intuitive. Like when you have to point out that the crossbow was used, but you have to specifically pick the crossbow itself, because picking the arrows makes the other person be like ‘what, are you saying that they just stabbed someone with the arrows?’. That felt a bit dumb. It should have been immediately obvious what I meant by that. But it’s a minor point.

On a similar topic, a lot of the mini-games still feel kinda unnecessary, but that’s always been an issue with this franchise. There’s not really much to say about it at this point. Though I should say that it threw me off so fucking hard when I got a hidden Monokuma inside one of the Psyche Taxi segments. I had no idea that was possible. And on THAT note, I’ve had no real luck at getting those. This one was literally the second one I’ve found in the entire game. I know I missed one because I only noticed it in the background right before I started a free time event with someone, though. Maybe it would have been there if I went back for it later, but I didn’t bother.

I’m also getting better at the Argument Armament sections, somehow. They’re still stressful as heck, but I’m slowly improving. [And on the note of this chapter’s one, I guess I was right in assuming that if Kaito was this chapter’s killer, someone else would try and defend him]

I feel almost silly for suspecting Keebo so heavily, but both Kokichi and Kaito felt a bit too easy at the time. Oh well. I have . . . things to say about Keebo, but I’ll leave that for later, I guess.

Back on the topic of the murder itself, the whole set-up of it really was kinda ingenious, and really could have been an unsolvable mystery if things had gone differently. Especially with the whole element of there being no real proof as to whether the victim died via Maki’s poison arrow, or the hydraulic press. In the end, it basically came down to personal feelings and belief, rather than cold hard evidence.

Which reminds me, I also really liked the whole theme of Shuichi’s intuition as a device vs his feelings of belief as an individual. That was neat. Especially when it got to the point where, even after using evidence and deduction to figure out that Kaito was the culprit, he decided to lie in an attempt to stand for what Kaito believed in, and was risking his life for. Which, sadly, ended up being the final push that got Kaito to give up.

I actually tried like three times to vote for Kokichi even after that scene, since I still wanted to support Kaito, but the game didn’t let me. Oh well.

Before I forget, I may as well get back to my whole [apparently ongoing] rant for a little while.

As I’ve said before, I still personally interpret Shuichi as having a crush on Kaito that he’s trying to deny. I also said it before, but I’ve been aware from the start that this probably isn’t ‘canon’, especially after this whole trial happened and it didn’t get mentioned, but it’s still something I believe in. Especially with how heavily Shuichi and Maki were getting paralleled in this trial. Either way, at this point it feels safe to say that whatever Shuichi feels for Kaito is equal to or stronger than whatever he felt for Kaede [and had much longer to develop], and the game’s obviously already framing her as his love interest, so yeah.

I guess it goes without saying, but with how this whole game is about the nature of truth and lies, and about criticizing the idea that exposing and living with the truth is always necessary and good, it feels rather fitting that I’m choosing to treat this as my personal truth, even if it might just be a lie.

And for the record I still find Maki’s crush on Kaito to be really adorable and also heart-wrenching in this trial. If anything that’s just part of the reason why I’m seeing Shuichi’s feelings as basically being the same sort of thing.

Rant time over [for now], lol.

I guess there’s not much more to say about the mystery itself, so I should start talking more about the aftermath of the trial.

To start with, I figured in advance that Kokichi probably wasn’t the mastermind, since it felt too ‘obvious’ and happened way too early. I think I also commented on how it was a bit odd how the Exisals and stuff were treating Monokuma, but I didn’t quite guess what the full situation with that one was. 

I’ll talk about the concept of the ‘true mastermind’ in a minute. Before that, I wanna say that it was really fitting and amusing that Kaito’s execution was a spin on Jin’s from DR1. I really should have seen that coming. It was a nice little throwback. I also really, really liked the detail of Kaito dying from his injuries rather than the execution itself. It may not have been a complete victory, but it was a moral victory.

Though on the flip-side we have the whole reveal that Kaito probably had the plague that killed off most of humanity, which in itself wouldn’t change anything, but it carries the really uncomfortable implication that maybe everyone in the cast had the same plague, and he just had his symptoms show up first. Which would just make this entire scenario even MORE depressing than it was before.

This whole chapter’s just making me more and more unsure what the deal is meant to be with Rantarou and the Monokubs. I still feel like they have to be related to the overall story somehow, but I’m getting less and less sure about what their purpose could be. I’m still assuming that the Monokubs have AIs that are based on the personalities of other people in the last killing game Rantarou was a part of. Maybe the other survivors of said killing game. Which makes me wonder if we’d ever get any idea who they were as actual people. 

With the reveal that Kokichi ISN’T the mastermind, and might not have had anything to do with setting up the killing game, now I can’t help but wonder if it was Rantarou who set things up. Obviously SOMEONE had to, and I assume it’s one of the main cast members. It’d also explain why he knew about the killing game in advance, and why he seemed intent on winning it. It certainly hints at him being kinda . . . malicious, but that was already clear enough. This would also explain what he meant about how this is a killing game that he wanted to have happen.

Presumably he’s genuinely dead, though, so that pokes some holes in the idea of him being the mastermind, assuming that ‘the mastermind’ is a currently living person. If we limit it just to the main cast, then Keebo seems like the most suspicious person, since he’s a robot who could be running some sort of sub-program to control Monokuma, in a way that might not even be conscious on his part. But, again, I’ll talk more about him in a moment.

First, I should talk about the plot point that I’ve been holding off on mentioning for this entire post, and that’s Junko. I’m laughing so hard at the implication that she’s the goddamn mastermind for the third game in a row. It’s such a brilliantly polarizing writing choice. Part of me had been genuinely hoping it would happen. I have a soft spot for Junko as a villain, if only because I love seeing people get so angry over her. The ways that she causes despair and frustration in the fandom just by existing kinda validates her status as the main villain of the series.

I’ve mentioned before that it feels like they’re setting up some sort of a twist about the events of this game being fictional, even in the context of the DR universe, and this is making me even more certain of that. Especially with the focus on the topic of ‘the people who this killing game are being shown to’. The main thing that always bugged me about the apocalypse idea was that broadcasting the killing game had always been the top priority, and so it felt weird to imagine a killing game happening in this sort of scenario. I kinda assumed it was to do with there being a new mastermind with new priorities, but the idea of Monokuma still abiding by his own rules is definitely too strange, even if we make that kind of assumption. So it makes sense that he’s broadcasting this to SOMEONE. The question is who.

And honestly my best guess is that this is setting up some abstract meta-twist about us, as the players, being the people who the game is broadcast to. I’d been idly considering that for a while, but seeing Junko show up, and seeing the references to how the characters are all ‘easily replaceable’ and that ‘the killing game can happen again and again’ makes me think that, in-universe, V3 is literally some kind of story that Junko’s writing. Maybe not in a literal sense of her writing a book or something, but maybe the game takes place in a DR2-esque simulation, and she can just restart it again and again to create an unending killing game of unending despair. It seems like the sort of thing she’d do. And obviously it’d work pretty well on a meta level as commentary about the franchise itself. Which to me got pretty definitively confirmed when Junko mentioned ‘supply and demand’. V3, and it’s killing game, only exists because we, the fans, financially supported this series enough, and wanted to see more killing games happen enough, that this game got made. It seems like the natural end point of how this series likes to comment on the almost voyeuristic nature of murder. This game only exists because there was an active demand for it. Because we like seeing people kill each other in video games. Because experiencing intense emotions through media is a cathartic experience that people want to go through again and again. I’m not trying to be like ‘violent video games are bad!’ or whatever, I just mean that if this game is going to end with the big bad villain literally being the people playing the game, then it’s certainly justified.

Though on the same level it also makes it feel like this is the furthest the series could ever go, and that any more games being made would just feel uncomfortable and weird. But even if this game ends in that sort of way, there’s still going to be demand for more games. We’ll still want to get another killing game, and another, and another, even if we complain about how discomfiting it is to have a game turn around and criticize us for our enjoyment of it.

If we assume that this is where it’s going, I wonder how chapter six will go, and how the game will end. Will it be like DR2, where we get to argue against a digital version of Junko? That’d be a bit . . . odd, and probably kinda depressing, since if this is all just a story being written/programmed/etc by Junko, then no matter what the characters can to do her, it probably won’t kill her. She’ll still be alive in the real world.

On that note, if we’re meant to assume that Junko is alive ‘in the real world’, it makes me wonder what point in the timeline we’re working with, since her physical body got pretty definitively destroyed at one point, unless the person we saw in that one CG near the end was her in a robot body made to look like her. Who even knows.

Also, this whole Junko thing makes me even MORE unsure how the hell Rantarou and the Monokubs fit into the story. Is their backstory all part of a fictional setting she made up for this game? I have no idea.

I really can’t help but wonder if Kodaka will try and continue the series after this. I guess it wouldn’t be impossible for him to do so, but I just . . . don’t know how it’d work, really.

I still find it incredibly fascinating how utterly depressing and miserable and filled with despair this entire game is, especially as we understand how it connects to the entire franchise, compared to the far more hopeful ending that DR3 gave us. Though it’d be a lot less depressing if the entire apocalypse scenario was also made up by Junko and didn’t actually happen. But to be honest I kinda love the sheer audacity of Kodaka writing such a hopeful direction for the story and it’s universe, only to completely tear it apart by literally putting it through a fiery apocalypse, so either option works for me.

Anyway, I wonder if we’ll get any more deaths, or if it’ll be like the last games where nobody in the main cast dies in chapter six, ignoring the mastermind. The game is REALLY hammering in the concept of ‘the killing game will end when two people are left’. So it just makes me wonder if that might really happen. Though since only two people died in this chapter, we’d need to get a scenario of two victims and one culprit in the next chapter, to create a scenario where we’re then left with two people. Or maybe three people will just die normally. It just depends on whether or not we get another trial, really. I’m not really sure what I expect to happen, but the most important thing is probably that, if this really is all fictional, to some degree or another, then the concept of someone surviving becomes a bit meaningless, so on some level it kinda doesn’t matter. But it’s still interesting to speculate about.

I really would not be surprised at this point if the next chapter involves Himiko and Tsumugi dying, and us getting one last trial between Shuichi, Maki, and Keebo, who all definitely feel like the most major and plot-important characters right now. That might be interesting.

But it also makes me wonder if we’d then get ANOTHER chapter after that, or if we just might not get a trial where we face off against Junko specifically. Who knows.

Either way, Himiko and Tsumugi definitely feel a little expendable right about now, and I’m incredibly suspicious of Keebo and his plans right now.

I wasn’t really expecting his inner voice to just . . . malfunction and stop working after he gets hit with a rock. That kinda came out of nowhere. And now we have this bizarre scenario of him powering up and flying around while apparently bombarding the school with missiles. I wonder if his plan is just to burn everything to the ground so that the killing game will forcibly come to an end. It’s kinda hard to imagine Keebo doing something so violent, though.

I did really like seeing the remaining survivors, aside from Keebo, start training together. That was really sweet. I really love the sense of friendship and companionship between them. Well, mostly between Shuichi and Maki, but you get what I mean.

I have no goddamn clue where the next chapter is going to go, at this point. The end of this chapter raised so many questions and cliffhangers that I feel like things can just go in any direction they want now.

But as a bottom line, I can only imagine this game having a depressing, or at least bittersweet, ending. Especially if everything is some sort of fictional story. But even if it’s not, the characters have no real future left. No matter how much hope they have, they’re stuck in the academy. So I just can’t see this ending happily.

Also, as a final note, I tend to be pretty bad at expressing the exact extent of my emotional reactions to stuff in this game since I’m having to talk about so much in these posts and I try and keep them at least relatively concise and orderly and whatnot, even if this isn’t meant to be any kind of a professional review or anything, but this whole trial and it’s conclusion was depressing as fuck. It tore me apart. I knew something like this was gonna happen, since I was already bracing for this ending with Kaito dying in some way or another, but actually seeing it happen really hurt. I’m not kidding when I talk about how much I love the entire Kaito-Shuichi-Maki trio. I honestly think that they’ve become some of my all-time favourite DR characters. I get why a lot of people might think they’re a bit boring and plain [other than maybe Maki], but I absolutely adore them. Out of all of the ‘main trios’, they’re far and away my favourites at the moment, although there’s a lot of recency bias going on there, since I still have a huge soft spot for the main characters of DR2. Mostly Hinata and Komaeda, though. The fact that I like Maki a LOT more than Nanami is probably what weigh things out in V3′s favour. I don’t really wanna pit any of the characters against each other.

Anyway yeah, this chapter put me through an entire rollercoaster of emotions.

[mp3neptunewrites]

THROWBACK: What I Learned In Summer School

I wrote this essay for an English assignment in 2015, which i think was about a year after the incidents described in it. Any mistakes are copied and pasted directly from the document and kept here for honesty and transparency purposes.

Everyone has their skills. I’m pretty good at music. I can do chemistry and biology. I’m even a decent writer, sometimes. The one thing, though, that seems to haunt me academically is math. Be it algebra or geometry, I can never seem to fully grasp the existence of numbers beyond the first ten digits. After that, just throw in a few variables and an “equals” sign, and you’ve got me seeing numbers and letters dancing around the page, doing phenomenal acrobatics, which is not extremely conducive to the learning and retention process.

For this reason, I ended up having to go to summer school for algebra after my final year of junior high. Two quarter credits of makeup, to be done in a period of two weeks. To tell the truth, I was a little excited at first. I usually am when thrust into new situations and environments. I’ve found that to be a good trait to have, as there are many things that I wouldn’t have ever done had it not been for my willingness to experience novel things.

Unfortunately, my excitement faded very quickly after I actually began summer school. The first day was, for lack of a more creative word, horrendous. I arrived at 6:30 AM, and class began at around 7 o clock. From there, we sat and worked ceaselessly, except lunch and a couple 5 minute breaks, until 3:30 in the afternoon when we were excused. During this time, we worked on nothing but math. This was likely one of the most stressful days of my life.

It wasn’t all terrible, though. I met quite a few very interesting peers. One kid was super into metal music. I’m an electronic fan, personally, but the conversations that we had at lunch and on break were really refreshing. Another person, I discovered, was somewhat in the same boat that I was in. She despised math because she had trouble reading the mass of numbers on the page without the dancing and acrobatics and whatnot. She told me that she loved to read books, though. Another person was a swimmer. She seemed to put everything else in school on the proverbial back burner because she was just so passionate about swimming.

I really didn’t know what I was expecting from a class of people who all failed algebra, but I guess I really shouldn’t have been surprised to find out that they were extremely similar to myself. Not necessarily similar in an exact way, but more in their depth and complexity. They all had reasons for being in that place and there at that moment in time, just like I had. I made a few tight-knit, albeit somewhat temporary, friends in that class.

The real test of my willpower came after I thought I was done. I liked the people there, but I was so ready for the two weeks of algebraic torment to be done. When the two weeks were up, I celebrated by eating the last of the oatmeal sandwich cookies my dad bought me for packed lunches. I slept in the next day, ready for my summer to finally begin. At least, I did until I was awoken on Monday by my dad knocking on my bedroom door.

“Get up. You aren’t done with summer school yet, apparently.”

What happened was that the two weeks that I was supposed to go were the last two weeks, not the first. The first week was just for those who needed to make up a quarter credit. I needed to make up a half. So I still had another agonizing week ahead of me. I’m not going to lie, I cried on my way there. It was such a letdown, thinking I was going to be done, just to have that relief ripped away.

This day was more stressful than the first. It was all the agony of the very first day, without the excitement of novelty. I just wanted to go home. I wanted to sleep. I wanted to never see an equation or inequality ever again.

Eventually though, something dawned on me. This week, the teacher was being much more lax with her breaks and the length of time we were spending out of class. Soon enough, the breaks we were getting were upwards of ten minutes long. With that much time, a lot more could be done. Some of my fondest memories of this week were playing huge games of tag in the hallways of Davis High School. The excitement was doubled by the multiple floors, long halls, corners, and even an elevator (Which I doubt we were supposed to be using, but this isn’t a lesson on morality, okay?) Other days, we’d all lay out in the hall and listen to music. Skrillex seemed to be popular among the rest of the students, and that was fine by me.

By the end of the week, I was expecting another wave of relief, but instead got something completely different: sadness. I genuinely didn’t want to stop going to these classes. Not only had a been having a blast with my new friends, but I found that I’d been learning much more than I ever had in math classes prior. I was an A and B+ student here, where before I was lucky to pass with a D, and I never felt so accomplished in such a scholarly setting before. I even found out after the fact that all three of the weeks I attended would count on my transcript, so I was ahead a quarter credit in math.

It was after the final class, the teacher excused us and said goodbye. This moment felt so fleeting, like I was leaving behind some of the best memories I’d ever had. In a way, I suppose I was.

I collected some phone numbers and Facebook information outside and said farewell to all of the cool people I’d met. My ride showed up a while later. In all honestly, I never really talked to anyone from summer school ever again. I think I still have some numbers, but I’ll likely never dial them.

In the end, I learned quite a few valuable lessons, besides how to graph an inequality. I learned that people will help to make experiences better. Never shy away from people. I also learned to enjoy fleeting moments a lot more. I wish some things could last a long time, even some algebra classes, but they usually don’t. Enjoy things while they last to the fullest, then let them pass when they’re gone.

I think that the most important lesson learned here is to always try. Nothing is as bad as it seems. Go for the things that you don’t think you want, you might be surprised. Worst case scenario, you don’t like it so you change it, and it’s a temporary inconvenience. Best case scenario, it’s the greatest decision you’ve ever made.

[dirtybourbon1-blog]

Dirty Bourbon River Show - Passion

Mastering Hip Hop Songs in Your Own Home Recording Studio Or Computer

Hiphop music has been around for 30 years today, and there have been several performers to create tunes that are amazing. But, some of these songs create us sing along whenever we notice them and party and get up and however have jammed within our brains. We admire those people who have provided musical talent therefore remarkable to create once we hear their song us dissolve to us.

The top 8 hiphop songs ever are (in no particular order):

5. 'Rapper's Pleasure' - The Hill Team

Hop that is hippty, hop... He's rapping towards the beat just attempting to go your feet. Each phrase is known by a lot of people to this basic melody. This was one of the earthis first introductions to the audio genre, and an impressive one which it had been.

4. 'Straight Outta Compton' -NWA

Outta Compton is one of all times' hottest rap tunes. It's also accountable for the West Coast gangster rap movement that transformed the lifestyles of numerous people. Straight Outta Compton details living on one's streets of the many hazardous cities with hardcore rapper Eazy-E of the state about the vocals.

8. ' Hard Knock Life' -Jay Z

If you are reasonably new to the planet of trip-hop audio, then listed here is a little list of five best trip hop songs that are broadly regarded as classics. Though promoting stylistic origins of such electronic-music style and the smoothness, those tunes are also effective on international maps. The musicians and groups behind those and a vital part have enjoyed with while in the advancement of trip hop music.

Rap music is actually a section of us, an integral part of our spirit. You can find 1000s of songs that are amazing on the market in this type, with musical skill from around the world. There's nothing very like hip-hop music if you were hit by the sounds.

Jay-Z is actually a musical god, as he demonstrated in 1998 with Difficult Knock Life, a melody testing Annie in the refrain. Jay raps about living an actual song that the majority of us may experience at some level, that hard hit living.

7. 'Hypnotize' -Biggie Smalls

The legendary rapper tops the very best 10 listing once more with this music, attaining number one just one week following the rappers death. This quick witted, interesting melody with all the cool beat seems good to hear. It also began an eruption of love and party of existence at the burial on his way to be installed to relaxation on Brooklyn's streets of Biggie.

6. ' Push It' D- Pepa

Introduced in 1986, Push It was a winner for rappers' group. This can be still but a sassy articulation that managed to get to dance graphs today rocks the human body as well as the party.

3. 'Delicious' Smalls

Because it could be the tune that built Huge Poppa what he is still for the world nowadays, actually 10 years after he was shot to death, this song began a new age in rap music. Moist claimed it was all a fantasy and enthusiasm was provided by this tune and feel great feelings to each and every one who paid attention to it.

1. 'It was a superb Day' -Ice Cube

In the beat towards the lyrics that is that feel well song that quickly minimizes the stress of the day all. We can all relate solely to the track, and no matter just how many situations it is performed it is still that sound you bob your face to.

2. 'Kid's Account' Hip Hop Songs -Slick Rick

You can't discuss hip-hop without talking about Slick Rick, among the biggest artists within this genre. This tune has that sweeping defeat and lyrics that get jammed in your head every time. Anyone who appreciates hip-hop appreciates this jam.

1. Attack - Sympathy

Presented on Massive Attackis debut record "Blue Lines", "Unfinished Sympathy" is often regarded as the track which constituted the beginning of the trip-hop type. What caused it to be among the finest triphop melodies, was its refreshing and new technique, which mixed audio instruments with digital music practices. " Unfinished Sympathy " also stood out because of its original music-video, that has been solely made-of one consistent take.

2. Portishead - Glory Box

You start with a Casual hiphop beat and vibrant strings, " Glory Container " provides the inner talk of the lady, who is prepared to appreciate again, but is of getting injured at the same period frightened. As well as the genuine and unmasked words, the artist Beth Gibbons's style gives nuances and specifics that strengthen the psychological detail of the music furthermore. The potent guitar solo enhances the message that is powerful that is vocally, while producing the instrumentation noise more natural.

3. Shadow - In A Perfect World

Shadow is well known for his expertise of mixing products from different performers and music types. He has the ability to blend effortlessly loops from punk, rap, common music, and electronica, organizing them into one good whole. The only "Night In An Ideal Earth" isn't an exception, for it levels a considerable measure of carefully chosen chillout lines and songs, making sure you can worry for a time once you have heard it.

4. Complicated - Aftermath

This common song is partially constructed around a catchy riff, which was extracted from a track "This Is The Technique Is" by Marvin Gaye. The sturdy drumbeat and short flute samples cause pleasure, as the unexpected major guitar purpose and weak words add some eeriness for the general mood. This gentle combination of serenity tension is most likely one key factor that has caused Difficult's "Aftermath" to become one of all time's greatest triphop melodies.

5. Massive Attack - Teardrop

"Teardrop" features Cocteau Twins singer Elizabeth Fraser, who supplies her soft and melodious lines towards the mellow and classy background. Quiet harpsichord riff plus a delicate drum trap, alongside with dark cello notes, paint a tranquil picture of sadness and melancholic beauty. As well as being one of many finest trip hop songs, "Teardrop" can be generally known as an American medical television drama "Property "'s concept music.

Dodi by Snoop Dogg. Everyone- and everyone is meant by me - appreciates the words to the song. You could perform with it at a celebration and also the total audience would singalong. This basic Snoop track gives homage to Advanced Rickis early course using the same label. Undeniably one-of Snoop Dogg's finest songs of all time.

The Message by Grandmaster Flash. This monitor set rap off. Music was increased by it from anything inside the roads into a design heard all over the world. The positive concept confirmed the ability of the rapper to people with something to express. Together of the very best hip-hop tracks in history, this may simply charge with regards to effect.

Rosa Parks by Outkast. This melody was their hit single off the 5- Mike "Aquemini." Lines that were several were included by the introduction along with the hoe down at the center of the track is legendary. This tracks was a huge launchpad for the continuing industrial success of Outkast, and correctly includes the free advantages of Big Boi and Andre 3000.

I Acquired Soul by Rakim B. Likely the top tune on the best ever record, listeners dazzle with some of the finest lyrics previously published, provided over Eric B is new defeats. Finest lyric: " I escape, when I conclude the rhyme When I'm writing I'm stuck among the lines."

Ask any two people for a set of their leading hip-hop songs and also you'd be blessed to fit perhaps 1 or 2. Nevertheless, I've desired to reveal to you my set of the most effective hip-hop tracks ever and been in the game for over a decade today. Thus without further ado...

The Way In Which I Am by Eminem. This haunting track is Eminem's possiblity to vent his worries towards the earth, covering topics such as his effect on kids, his failure to overcome his past accomplishment ("I'm not gonna manage to hit Our Name Is") along with the basic frustration he thinks towards the criticism he seems is misguided. The song is just a throwback to a Rakim track that is old - a research shed in an incredible exhibit of musical and move abiliy - and on a lot of his younger listeners. Certainly one the hiphop melodies that are most effective in the past decade.

[thesinglesjukebox]

KASHER QUON FT. TEEJAYX6 - DYNAMIC DUO

[6.27]

By our own popular demand!

Ian Mathers: I cannot wait for the blurb here that's going to explain to me why this whole thing just feels off to me, because god knows I don't have the background knowledge or vocabulary for it. In the meantime it mostly just reminds me of After Last Season. I love After Last Season. [7]

Andy Hutchins: Indebted to the long-running tradition of paranoiac rap and strides made more recently by fellow Michigander Tee Grizzley's relentless flows spilling over at bar's end, Kasher Quon and Teejayx6 embark on an instantly legendary cataloging of what being young, dumb, and so full of ways to hustle and scam sounds like in 2019. Dish detergent as a lean ingredient? Sure. Scamming your own nephew(s) with fake Js and/or fraudulent iPhone purchases? Sure. The endgame here is admirably low-budget, too: Flying Spirit is not even close to enviable. "I just went to Walmart, and I tore that bitch down" is a legitimate aspirational flex, and you get the sense that this is an improbable inversion of the age-old rapping just to get a rep, with the penny-ante schemes being touted by kids unafraid of being called small-timers or unaware of why that would even be a problem. And if "Dynamic Duo" were about a minute shorter, it would not tick past the point of an electrifying thrill ride into what chemistry on a rap song can be and into an exercise sure to exhaust the listener. Something tells me Kasher and Teejay will keep going, though. [6]

Maxwell Cavaseno: For arguably the last two or three years (at minimum), it's been a poorly kept secret that Detroit has become the best city of the rap game. Atlanta? Self-rewriting hogwash sounding just as generic as NYC did in the mid '00s. Los Angeles? Still depending on rappers who've taken over nine years to gain any sort of traction outside of its own city walls and would rather keep going back to the well from tired old icons. Chicago? Their best rapper MOVED OUT, and now they're best represented by a sanctimonious theater kid working out his ABDL-related complex in public. Sickening! No, Detroit has been THE place to be, thanks to a frantic paced scene built on Scamming, Sniping, and Sleaziness. Plenty of my peers, in response to "Dynamic Duo," have been confounded and astonished at how seemingly extreme and hysterical the record sounds, but once you've heard the likes of Pablo Skywalkin or Rocaine, that this city has produced, you get it. The maniacal offbeat flows, the stressed out hyperactive minor key piano licks over the Mannie Fresh-indebted throwback drums, the vivid detail as these men describe going on The Dark Net and buying your (YES YOURS READER!) social security numbers to make Venmo into a frenzied honeypot. Believe me when I tell you that Kasher Quon and Teejayx6 are some of the youngest to do it, but they're astonishingly normal for this scene. If this is the record that puts The Motor City back on the map, then I'm all the happier! But approach with caution! [8]

Alex Clifton: I want to make it absolutely clear that this is one of the worst things I have ever heard. I also listened to it four times in a row. It's not just bad but unforgivably bad, inept and cringey and something that could only exist in the era of YouTube. I don't mind small-time guys trying to make a song and sounding endearingly bad; usually in those cases, though, you have an idea of the song, a notion of what the artist wanted it to be. There is, however, no redeeming musical quality to this track. I can't even call it a song because that implies structure and melody and some sort of forethought as opposed to whatever the hell this is. The best part of this contraption is the beat, which is the repetitive Phoenix Wright soundtrack from hell mixed with a bad trap drum. Honestly it wouldn't be so bad if it had literally any variation other than randomly going up or down. And then the rap starts. I can't. I literally can't. I could rap better than these dudes, and I am the kind of person who karaokes Taylor goddamn Swift whenever I can. And yet this performance is hypnotic? Every time I listen to this I am struck anew by its utter badness. This isn't Maroon 5 phoning-it-in bad, nor Lukas Graham full-of-shit pomposity bad; it's just a literal trainwreck of words thrown about with no care as to order or sense. Throw in some absolute what-the-fuck lines ("stingy with my sauce like Mr. Krabs" is my current favourite) and this thing throws me for a loop each time I hear it. I hate this bloody thing and it won't leave my brain. It is worth mentioning that the video is a solid [10]. [0]

David Sheffieck: This is a vertiginous experience, mashing together a beat like a mid-'80s car chase with the high wire act of Kasher Quon and Teejayx6 swapping and overlapping lines at a headlong, near-breathless pace. It's technically dazzling and (more importantly) fun: a thrill-ride built from quotable lines, wild boasts, and a sense that nothing's impossible. Maybe the best song I've heard all year -- and without question the most exciting. [10]

Crystal Leww: There's a moment in Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse where Miles Morales scores a 0 on a test and his teacher gives him a 100 instead, because "You have to know all the answers to get all of them wrong; you're trying to fail out." That pretty much sums up how I feel about "Dynamic Duo." I would never play this in a club or a car and would never hope that anyone ever plays it on the radio where others would be trapped into listening to this. There is so much chaotic, bad energy stuffed into this seemingly never-ending track of rap verses. Both Kasher Quon and Teejayx6 are somehow off beat for every single beat, which sounds so cheaply made on knockoff Garage Band. Everyone involved knew every single thing they were supposed to do in rap music and decided to do exactly the opposite. That's beautiful to me -- that's high art. [8]

Will Adams: Admittedly, this is the first time in a while that a song has evoked the feeling of "I'm losing my fucking mind," so I can't not give points for that. [5]

Joshua Copperman: I am 100% not the target audience. But nothing exists and has ever existed in a vacuum. This was going to find its way to me eventually, even though it was not made for me, a writer-type person who can't be called a critic because to people of a certain age the word brings to mind not not Christgau, not Zoladz, not even Fantano, but, like, Doug Walker. Then it brings up Lizzo. Yet I know the feeling of something being so deeply your thing that you become irrepressibly On Brand. This sound collage of absurd punchlines is baffling to me -- this is what most people probably hear when they say they hate SoundCloud rap. And then you have the writers that would view it as punk, flying in the face of everyone trying to analyze it. But that wasn't the intention. It was a duo fooling around and going music-Twitter viral, maybe for the wrong reasons. It's easy to imagine someone liking it in spite of other music, not because they genuinely enjoy it. But watching my Twitter feed briefly explode with excitement was a beautiful moment. "Dynamic Duo" doesn't transcend its trappings -- the punchlines are given no room to breathe, and the beat is too busy. But it works enough that the irony-drenched recesses of music twitter paused for only a moment. That's plenty. [6]

Ryo Miyauchi: Leave it to Detroit rappers to continue and celebrate an exercise in rap practiced in the earliest wave of the genre. "Dynamic Duo" gets off the rails pretty quick with Kasher Quon foregoing some attempt at narrative of him and Teejayx6 getting ambushed, and it instead becomes a competition of who can one-up the other in humor, raunchiness and violence. A thrilling, off-the-cuff freestyle feel flows throughout: bits like handling mom's bills on Comcast.com and entering Wal-Mart with a frown can only come from a wild stream of consciousness, rushing to grab any word and rhyme that comes first. It's been a while to witness not only this intense of baton passing between two rappers but also for one to inspire a better bar out of another with each succession. [8]

Alfred Soto: The tinny beat is the point, the off-the-beat rapping perhaps. Intentions are for lawyers, not critics. To enjoy "Dynamic Duo" is to relish the can-you-top-this? vulgarity of who did what to which women. Quon and Teejayx6 could go on for sixteen more verses, by which point every other kid on the playground would've returned to class and called the disciplinarian. When they don't flex their imagination for the sake of cruelty, it works, which is about half the time. [5]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: Trapped on the precipice between never wanting to hear this again and wanting an extended cut and I think the latter is winning. Please send help. [6]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

[accordingtoangelica]

#Diamondsarentforever

Well, it has been a minute; however, a lot has happened in that time! This is a throwback blog I wrote months ago but never posted. This particular scenario changed me and helped shape me into a better version of myself, someone who is aware of exactly what I want.

I’ve realised relationships aren’t forced, they’re simply a case of what’s meant to be will be...so here goes nothing...

After approximately 1.5 years of being single and predominantly meeting men who either only want ‘one thing’, like the thrill of the chase, then lose interest or play mind games, I finally thought enough was enough.

I deleted every single dating app and every trace of any man I have dated, including whole threads of messages (thanks to my girl for the tip lol).

I just thought, what is the point? I am single, living my life; I have a stable job and a solid group of friends and family who love me. Men have brought far too much drama to my life and I just kept letting them in. I am an emotional person and I was finding that I had to be closed up to every male in order to date. I find that very difficult. Whilst I am always cautious, I am an open person, so I struggle to be cold and I felt that if I were to continue to ‘date’ this is what I had to do.

I also have the worst anxiety before any date. As much as I am confident in my appearance and with who I am as a person, I always got the weird stomach flips in the pit of my belly. I knew that I had to keep my heart locked away at all times. It was nerve wracking and I hated the feeling.

I was bored one Saturday night and well, you guessed it, I decided to download a dating app. I set myself a time limit of about two hours and if all I got was inappropriate photos after the first hello, jerks who asked me to meet up that night or dirty old men; I would delete the whole thing and be done with it.

I created a quick profile- it was honest, straightforward yet made me seem kind and approachable. I wondered why I had bothered as most men just trawl your photos and make their decision from there. I am sure if those same men took the time to read my profile, they would see that I am NOT a one-night stand girl and that I will block you if you contact me whilst married or in a relationship- and more than likely, they would not message me.

After blocking several losers, I was approached by a man who was a bit older, but seemed kind and genuine. He was not really my type to be honest, but he had kind eyes, a beautiful smile and approached me in a polite way. Within minutes, we exchanged numbers and we were chatting via text for most of that night, the next day that followed, the texts were flowing. We got along great. He was sensitive and giving, successful yet humble, a divorced father of two.

Each day that passed, I learned more about him. He had endured a lot in his life and I was empathetic, he was also empathetic of me and my life, although I gave away very little as I was still cautious, wary of my heart being broken again. He told me that women had used him, just as I had been used by men, but for different reasons. We were both Cancerians so we seemed to understand each other.

I did not know where it would lead but I enjoyed his company and his time over the phone and via text, so much so that I would smile every time I heard from him.

I overlooked the fact that he was a father of two almost teenagers when normally this would be a deal breaker for me. At the time I did not really want to date someone with kids because I didn’t think emotionally, I could handle that. Especially given the volatile relationship he had with the mother of his children.

Still I was interested in getting to know him; I was intrigued and fascinated by how caring and considerate he was.

Fast track two weeks and things started to get quite deep. He took me out to dinner, told me how much he appreciated being with someone he felt he could trust and who he knew would not take him for granted. He confided in me about things he had never told anyone and I welcomed it. I felt special, wanted and needed. He made me feel that way and it was nice that a man was appreciating me for more than just my looks.

He started to open up to me more and more, but with that, he seemed to become more and more insecure.

He made some pretty life altering promises which he later realised he could not live up to and confessed them to me a week later in an attempt to be honest.

Whilst I appreciated his honesty, I wondered why people so often promise you the world then do not deliver. Why make such a huge promise without thinking that maybe there is a chance, you may not be able to keep it?

He was fickle and kept cancelling on plans with me whenever he did not sleep well or had other business related stuff go bad.

He trusted me very quickly and things moved pretty fast I will admit, but I was not really phased by it as we both felt the same way, I personally felt as though I was taking my time in getting to know more about him, and frankly, I was enjoying the journey.

I called him out on his behaviour several times. I was sick of being cancelled on at the last minute given the less than reasonable excuses he was giving me.

Although his texts were elaborate and detailed whenever he did cancel, he did not seem very self-aware in that he did not come to the realisation that although he was not using me per se, he was still expecting me to be ok with his unreliability.

I felt insignificant, like just a “thing” he could just cancel on, on a whim. It was hard to take given that all other times he made me feel special and appreciated.

I would not condone this kind of treatment from a friend let alone someone I was dating. I started to get annoyed as each time I called him out the apology never seemed sincere. He was so self-absorbed that after a while he started to make apologies like “I am sorry you feel that way”.

I knew all too well that wasn’t a real apology. It is like saying, I have done nothing wrong, and I empathise with the fact that YOU are the one with the issue.

I allowed it to happen twice and then the third time it happened where he made plans with me only to cancel on me half an hour later in order to make plans with someone else, that was the final straw. Yes, it was my fault for giving him so many chances however; given his hardships, I made allowances and gave him more chances than I would most.

“I’ll take care of you,” he would say to me, over and over “I want to take care of you and protect you”- this coming from a man who whilst financially could support several small African villages, could barely take care of himself emotionally. I did not want a man to buy me or support my financial needs- it is just not who I am.

I NEVER set out looking for someone serious in the first place, but somehow this man encouraged me to open up my heart, I pretty much handed him the key, and because he seemed kind and appreciative, I let him in considerably.

It kind of hurt more than, if I were being used for my body and dumped because for once I invested my heart into something which ended up feeling like 5 weeks’ worth of mind games.

I have not heard from him since, which to me indicates that he feels no accountability what so ever. I do not really care anymore and my mind feels clear for the first time in weeks. My rosacea has drastically improved because I no longer feel stressed, and my moods are no longer up and down.

I do not know where my journey will lead or whether I will end up with the baby I have always wanted and a career that fills me with passion. All I know is that I want to be happy and not have to question the person I finally give my whole heart to, if that ever happens.

I also do not want to lose hope or the kindness and love in my heart and become cynical, but I feel to an extent I have become that way, just waiting for a man to do something wrong so that I can shrug and say to myself “I told you so”.

What I learned from this experience is that no matter how someone makes you feel in a moment or how sincere they come across, it’s important to stay guarded and embrace the circle you already have.

Those people will be there for you no matter what. Also, no matter what anyone says, take care of YOU- if you do this, you will not ever seek this through others. The right person will fit perfectly in your circle if it’s meant to happen ☺️

[junker-town]

NFL Dad, Week 11: At least you didn’t start Nathan Peterman

One dad, two young kids, and six-plus hours of RedZone Channel. How much football can he actually watch?

What’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever done? I genuinely want to know.

For me, it was probably my wife and I deciding to have a second kid without so much as a glance at our budget (“budget,” he said, like an adult who had such a thing at the time). We wanted two kids, and we knew we’d make it work, gosh darn it. Because of that, our bank account is held together with duct tape and wishes, we’ll never own a home, and the looming specter of college tuition is the only thing that makes me look forward to the collapse of society.

On the other hand, that decision gave us a very sweet son who plays well with his big sister. We made a poor financial decision that led to fuller, more joyous lives. It wasn’t national news. It didn’t affect any outcomes for a billion-dollar franchise that employs hundreds of people. It wasn’t televised for everyone to mock.

What I’m saying is, at least I didn’t bench Tyrod Taylor to start Nathan Peterman, like some kind of ignorant asshole. And neither did you! So chin up, things could be a lot worse.

EARLY GAMES, FIRST HALF

— After helping get the kids ready for their naps, I turn on the TV around 1:15. The first meaningful play is Jay Cutler throwing an interception in the end zone. Hell yes, today is gonna be awesome.

— DeShone Kizer’s early line: 0-1, 1 INT. It looks MISERABLE in Cleveland: Windy, wet, and the Browns are playing.

A few minutes later, the Jaguars score a TD on play-action that fools the camera operator. Blake Bortles wasn’t even on the screen until just before he tossed the ball to Marcedes Lewis.

— Eli Manning completes five passes in a row to start the game. Naturally, once the Giants reach the red zone, it’s time for someone else to throw a pass! How does it go for Shane Vereen?

The Giants attempt a little trickery... But the @chiefs have other plans. PICKED. #KCvsNYG http://pic.twitter.com/0imA0M3DJ9

— NFL (@NFL) November 19, 2017

SUBOPTIMAL. Also, this is the first time this column has begun with three consecutive bullets about interceptions.

— My daughter goes down for her nap. Whenever we put her to bed, she does a singsong cadence of the names in her life (NOT like Arya Stark, I swear). She says, “Mommy, Daddy,” then rattles off her own name twice, her brother, the dog, her nanny (twice), and then back through the list again, but randomized.

I cannot do it justice in words because it is woven into the landscape of my day, a charming and inexplicable habit from the spongy mind of a child. Eventually, I know, she will stop doing it, and I’m already sad about the day I walk out of her darkened room without hearing the rhythmic, lyrical recitation of the names of people I love.

— The Jags run a surprise onside kick, and it works! Josh Lambo recovers!

That was cool, but ... C’mon guys, it’s the Browns. Y’all don’t need to do that. Let them die with dignity.

— We ran out of coffee in my house this weekend. I used the last of our grounds on Saturday morning, but thought we had another bag — not realizing that the bag was decaf. (Charlton Heston voice) DECAAAAAAAAAFFFF!!!

So we made do with decaf when we woke up, then I had a latte when we took the kids to the playground in the morning. I drank it like a desperate man. It helped, but by noon I was stressed and irritable, so I heated up water to make tea.

I try to be the kind of person who respects everyone’s tastes, but apparently that’s only possible when I have enough caffeine in my system. Tea is bullshit.

— Alex Smith throws an interception on a shovel pass. Not easy to do!

AN INT ON A SHOVEL PASS MAKES A TASTY SNACK FOR DAMON HARRISON #Giants #Chiefs http://pic.twitter.com/0RZs3zcyxt

— Clay Wendler (@ClayWendler) November 19, 2017

— Facing 4th and six in the vicinity of the Saints’ 40, Kirk Cousins makes an awesome throw downfield to convert, leading to a short rushing touchdown that gives Washington a 17-10 lead.

After Rams-Vikings, Washington versus New Orleans seems to be the game to watch in this early slate. Cousins & Co. are playing for their season, and the Saints offense seems a little rattled by the pressure that Ryan Kerrigan and his friends are bringing.

— I just deleted a bullet point about Jay Cutler throwing his second interception, because he has now thrown THREE. I swear the only RedZone highlights from this Bucs-Dolphins game are Cutler picks, which is all I really want anyway.

— The Packers have turned the ball over three times and the Ravens only lead 3-0. Brett Hundley has no business facing this Ravens defense, but it’s Baltimore that infuriates me. That offense is polio. Joe Flacco is the debtor’s prison’s Alex Smith.

Also, the Packers are wearing their crappy throwbacks. If I’d known they’d spend today drawing inspiration from the 1930s, I wouldn’t have picked them to cover.

— Rams-Vikings is living up to the hype of a battle between two division leaders in the superior conference. It’s tied at 7-7, and though there hasn’t been much fodder for this column, every set of downs is a chess match between quality teams with smart plans that make the most of their players.

As soon as I write that, Cooper Kupp caps a Rams drive by fumbling on the 1-yard line.

Cooper Kupp loses the on the 1-yard line... And the @Vikings recover! Going the other way! #SKOL http://pic.twitter.com/3glfdkGBOn

— NFL (@NFL) November 19, 2017

Even this — a red zone turnover — is more indicative of a relentless, well-coached defense than it is of Kupp’s carelessness. And now that’s I’ve had two instances of Kupp alliteration, I must see the headline through to completion:

Cooper Kupp’s carelessness crushes quality campaign; Case Keenum & company control close contest!

I would have been an incredible newsman in the 1920s.

— The Lions, who stumbled out of the gate against the Bears, take a 21-17 lead on a short pass to Ameer Abdullah with 20 seconds left in the half. John Fox has that, “Aw, hell” look on his face. It’s the sort of look that Bears fans must HATE, because it gives the impression that Fox is in over his head.

Another thing that gives the impression that Fox is in over his head? His coaching! ZING! Take that, old man who never did anything to me!

EARLY GAMES, SECOND HALF

— Joe Flacco throws to a blanketed Mike Wallace, who makes an incredible catch to give the Ravens the first touchdown of the game. They lead 13-0.

The announcers rave about Wallace’s catch — justifiably — but let’s talk about Flacco’s reasoning. It’s not like Wallace is the kind of receiver you should expect to make catches while covered, like Julio Jones or DeAndre Hopkins. He’s Mike Wallace! A deep threat on an offense that doesn’t throw deep! And the Ravens can’t even realistically cut Flacco until after 2018! We have SO MUCH more Flacco to watch. GUH. Dump this team into the Chesapeake.

— My son wakes up from his nap early. He points to his mouth and says, “Ow. Ow.” His mouth hurts because he fell off his sister’s bed earlier, hitting his chin on the bottom rail and biting his tongue. Poor kid. He sits next to me on the couch and sucks his thumb while resting his head against my shoulder.

— “Alex Smith is hot dog shit today.” That was originally going to be my entire bullet, but that metaphor isn’t very clear. What I mean is that Smith is fresh dog shit on scorching pavement on hottest day of the summer. But the phrase could also read as shit from a dog that’s hot, or possibly the filling of a hot dog from a questionable manufacturer. None of these are particularly good, but I wanted to make it clear what kind of hot dog shit Alex Smith is today.

— Matt Moore has replaced Jay Cutler -- not for cause, though. Cutler, who had put together some 11 or 12 minutes without an interception, left the game with a concussion. Moore immediately hits Jarvis Landry for a long gain.

— My wife leaves with my son to walk our dog just as my daughter wakes up from her nap. The Vikings are putting together an intriguing drive, but I go into her room and help her use the potty. When we come back out to the TV room, the Vikings are celebrating a touchdown.

We sit on the couch and I read a Dr. Seuss book to her. Are you ready for a children’s book hot take? I hope so, because Seuss is WILDLY overrated. He’s kind of like Joe Namath: A champion and Hall of Famer, sure, but also revered beyond his talent.

The strength of Seuss books is their musical language, and I fully welcome the way they can give children a sense of poetic rhythm and rhyme. They’re also EXCRUCIATINGLY long; I could read a chapter of Moby-Dick in the time it takes to read Oh, The Places You’ll Go. The rhymes are also repetitive enough to feel rote, but differentiated enough that you can’t zone out and perform on autopilot; it’s the children’s book version of assembling IKEA furniture. Finally, though I can’t deny Seuss’ unique artistic style, I loathe it with all my heart. Is that a dog or a cat? A cat or a person? A person or some made-up bullshit so he can make a rhyme? I’m over it, man.

— After the book, my daughter takes my wrist in her hand and puts my arm around her. We watch Adam Thielen break a long TD to give the Vikings a two-score lead, and that’s probably curtains for the Rams.

All this man does is make PLAYS. 65-yard @athielen19 TOUCHDOWN! #SKOL http://pic.twitter.com/cQyfvs5sR5

— NFL (@NFL) November 19, 2017

— Another Alex Smith interception leads to a Giants field goal; the underdogs lead 9-6 with 1:39 left. This reminds me: I missed it while parenting, but Travis Kelce ALSO threw an interception today.

In just this one NFL game, interceptions have been thrown by a quarterback, a running back, and a tight end. If you had bet me before the game that THREE players would throw interceptions and NONE of them would be Eli Manning, you would own every penny to my name.

— Alex Smith TRIES to throw another pick, but there’s a penalty on the defense. Soon after, he finds Travis Kelce wide open down the seam. The Chiefs get into the red zone but can only get a field goal. These assholes are going to overtime.

— A Lions 52-yard field goal gives them 27-24 lead, but John Fox has three timeouts, one minute remaining, and a rookie quarterback. LET’S GO!

Mitchell Trubisky puts together a competent hurry-up drill, but Connor Barth misses WAY wide right on a 46-yarder. The Bears lose, 27-24. It’s the third straight game (and fifth overall) that they’ve lost by one score. Meanwhile, two of their three wins have come in overtime. This must be an AGONIZING season for Bears fans.

— My wife gives our daughter a Moana coloring book that comes with a paintbrush and watercolors. The first picture inside features Moana standing proudly with her fists on her hips. Later in the evening, my daughter will swagger up and down the hallway with her fists on her hips, saying, “I’m walking like Moana!”

THIS is why I love Moana but have beef with the traditional Disney princesses. My daughter is three years old and has still never seen Moana (or any movie), but frequent exposure to the soundtrack and a couple of plot points — “Moana has to save her people” — gives my daughter enough information to guide her body language, and we can see it in the way she play-acts.

When she’s Cinderella, I have to pretend to put a gown on her, and we dance together at the ball. When she’s Rapunzel, she flips her hair around; Ariel, and she holds up a scarf as a bikini. But when she’s Moana, she throws her shoulders back, struts with purpose, and thrusts her fist into the air — something she’d only previously done when saying, “I’m Batman!”

Long story short, her Cinderella doll has a date with the trash chute.

— The Saints, trailing by 15 as the game winds to a close, needed two touchdowns in three minutes. Drew Brees did it in two minutes, thanks to a three-and-out forced by the defense. 2-point conversion good.

WE. DID. THAT.@a_kamara6 with the touchdown and the two-point conversion to tie things up with 1:05 to play! #SaintsGameday | #WASvsNO http://pic.twitter.com/Dzae3lVa40

— New Orleans Saints (@Saints) November 19, 2017

This gives me flashbacks to Washington’s win in Seattle a few weeks back, when the Seahawks scored too quickly and gave the visitors enough time to retake the lead.

— With time starting to run low in overtime, the Giants go for it on 4th and six at the edge of field goal range, and Manning takes a shot deep. awesome deep pass. Great play. FG Giants, 12-9.

Wowwwwwwww. Roger Lewis makes the INCREDIBLE grab to setup the @giants WIN. #GiantsPride http://pic.twitter.com/YE9qsqlql5

— NFL (@NFL) November 19, 2017

It’s underthrown, but the cornerback drags Roger Lewis (a player I have DEFINITELY heard of, yessir) down, and that helps him make the spectacular catch. The Giants kick a chip shot to win the game.

The Chiefs’ performance today puts some serious stink on the “Andy Reid after a bye week” mystique. Woof. On the flip side, the Giants hurt their draft position and will keep Ben McAdoo as coach a little longer, so ... way to go, everybody. Bang-up job this week.

— Washington does nothing with its first OT possession, and the Saints waste no time: Mark Ingram breaks a long run to put them in field goal range. Wil Lutz kicks the 28-yarder, and this is the rare instance I approve of overtime: It (A) ended quickly and (B) completed the gut-wrenching collapse of a team I dislike.

LATE GAMES, FIRST HALF

— Nathan Peterman starts his NFL career off with a pick-6. Sure, it went off the receiver’s hands, but that’s inconvenient for my narrative. I picked up the Chargers defense for my fantasy team, and I’m counting on Joey Bosa and Melvin Ingram to ruin the debut of an unheralded rookie quarterback.

— The first RedZone action in Denver is the Broncos blocking a Bengals punt. It should be illegal to have this much orange on the field.

— My wife gives the kids apple slices with maple almond butter, which is one of very few ways to make almond butter palatable to kids raised on peanut butter. They sit at the table and eat silently. I mute the TV and just drink in the quiet. For entire seconds: no sirens or honking outside, no incessant questions or shouting or whining, no dog nails clacking on the wood floors, just silence. I store the moment away and save it for a moment when I need a warm feeling of calm.

— Brock Osweiler throws a pick in end zone that Dre Kirkpatrick ALMOST returns for six, but he inexplicably fumbles without being touched, recovering his mistake at the one-yard line. This might be my favorite play of the entire year:

PICK-6-OHHH NO! Dre Kirkpatrick nearly has a 101-yard PICK-6... But fumbles inside the 5. Wow. #CINvsDEN http://pic.twitter.com/zUyPI5Q0xZ

— NFL (@NFL) November 19, 2017

By the way, this is the exact sort of thing I’d do if I were an NFL player who had Joe Mixon on my fantasy team (I don’t, though, because I drafted with MORAL PRINCIPLES). It’s Tyler Kroft, however, who gets the touchdown.

— My daughter, still working with watercolors, absentmindedly takes a sip from the cup of water she was dipping her paint brush in. Bruce Arians approves!

My wife says, “How did that taste?” My daughter only frowns in response.

— Tom Brady opens the scoring in Mexico City with a TD to one of his running backs … Kevin Faulk? No, Dion Lewis. Hey, speaking of Mexico, the new Pixar joint looks amazing.

Oh yeah, that’s gonna give me a good cry.

— Nathan Peterman has now thrown his THIRD interception. It’s still the first quarter.

Tyrod Taylor has the lowest interception rate in NFL history (at least 1000 attempts).

— Mina Kimes (@minakimes) November 19, 2017

Tyrod Taylor in 2017: 254 passing attempts, 3 interceptions Nathan Peterman, today: 8 passing attempts, 3 interceptions

— Rodger Sherman (@rodger_sherman) November 19, 2017

— Keenan Allen is in for a TD, and it’s 17-7, Chargers. Allen doesn’t look quick, but he’s just so smooth. I can’t think of another receiver that big who moves with such grace and without any wasted movement. I hope he can avoid the injury problems that have followed him to this point.

— Peterman throws a FOURTH pick! This is amazing. I stop watching the games to follow Twitter, where the ‘Rod Squad is gleefully destroying Sean McDermott and the Bills management.

more like Tea-rod Taylor, right @minakimes? http://pic.twitter.com/zUbrqH6ziC

— Matt Ufford (@mattufford) November 19, 2017

You’ll notice in the above picture that Taylor has “Born to Lose” tattooed on his bicep; on his other one is “Built to Win.” When he leaves Buffalo — and he should, for an organization that actually welcomes him as a perfectly solid quarterback (‘sup Jacksonville?) — he should find some space for “Benched Too Soon.”

— A Peterman fumbled snap leads to 3rd and seven, and let me tell you: I have rarely been so tense as watching Nathan Peterman, sitting on four interceptions, wait to take a snap on a passing down. (He threw incomplete. It was not particularly close to being complete.)

— Did Nathan Michael Peterman throw a fifth interception? You are extremely goddamn right he did.

— As the games go into halftime, the Chargers lead the Bills 37-7, the Pats take a 17-0 lead on a 62-yarder from Stephen Gostkowski, and the Bengals lead in Denver, 13-7. The lone close game is the one I have no interest in watching. Orange teams are crap.

LATE GAMES, SECOND HALF

— My kids practice saying “Touchdown!” while throwing their arms up in the air. the 3-year-old has it down cold, but my son’s pronunciation isn’t quite there. It starts out as “DA-DA!” but he manages to get to “TOUSH-DAWN!” by the thirtieth or fortieth try. It definitely did not get old, I’ll tell you that much.

— Brandin Cooks ends any realistic hope for the Raiders with a 64-yard touchdown that is all speed and no safety help. I won’t even link to a highlight because it’s not even that interesting. Imagine a really fast guy running past a person, then catching a ball in stride and continuing to run. There you go.

— Tyrod Taylor is back! He converts a 3rd and 12 and leads the offense to a field goal. Whoa, CRAZY how the Bills’ offense works better when the more talented quarterback plays. Sean McDermott is either the stupidest asshole in the league, or he’s being told by management to back Peterman and too spineless to say no.

— I get my son out of the bath, put him in a diaper and pajamas, give him his milk, and somehow manage to cut his fingernails without turning our house into the Octagon. The kid can’t catch a ball, but brandish some nail clippers and he’s suddenly a black belt in Brazilian jiu-jitsu. Usually, if I want to keep him from scratching his face with his talons while he sleeps, I have to put him in an arm bar while he screams bloody murder.

But not this time! He just drinks his milk and doesn’t struggle. Now, if you don’t have kids, you probably never think about this kind of thing. But as a parent, please allow me to shout, THIS IS SUCH AN EASY THING THAT CHILDREN MAKE SO GODDAMN HARD ARRRRGGGHHH.

— Down 27-0, the Raiders go for it on 4th and one, and hand it off to ... a running back who is NOT Marshawn Lynch. He gets stuffed. JESUS. What black magic does Belichick have that makes opposing coaches ignore Lynch at crucial moments?

— The Raiders score a touchdown I don’t see because this is happening:

The great thing about writing is that you can easily work from home

I saved my daughter’s notes:

bv bvb vt /ER;/.SZrd6s4\-}){“:$D[‘c tgc raLKUoYPTOIUYTR’=\][

OK, so we’ve got some room to improve. She does better work with emojis.

— My son picks a book off the table, drops it on the floor, and bends down to pick it up, not accounting for the table that’s in his head’s path. BONK. He’s got a red welt on his forehead, and it’s at least the fourth time this afternoon he’s fallen or otherwise hurt himself (he also pulled open a tape measure, which retracted and whipped him in the face). He’s a disaster.

On the screen, the clock ticks down on the Chargers’ 54-24 blowout. Sean McDermott looks grim but steadfast. In the other room, my daughter channels The Rock’s voice to yell the final lines of his song in Moana: “AND THANK YOU!”

[survivor-switzerland]

EPISODE 16 (FINALE): THE COURAGE REQUIRED TO ANNIHILATE - BRETT

Well tribal was actually fairly easy for once. I'm glad we are all on the same page for once instead of having to say one thing for one group and another name for a different group. It's tiring keeping up with who is on which side at times. I'm so happy to make f5!!! I am happy to be with my top picks too!!! I feel like unless Luke wins immunity it's gonna be an easy tribal. Let's hope so at least!!!! It's has been hard to know who to trust and I feel if we can just make one more then we'll be ok. I know that it will be hard to choose between Ian and Dom but I think we have to see who will be best for future game!!! I love them both so it's hard for me!! I'm happy with any of the others left so I'm super happy!!! Now to see who wins immunity and figure out how to get to f4!!!

So I get back from exile and I find out that Jev was voted out unanimously and I'm....very confused. I thought that they were probably going to vote out Ian but according to Dom, Brett said that it was easier to manage with just Matterhorn in the game because we were a duo. I need to try so hard to win immunity otherwise I could be leaving and I need to make it to the end. I've played pretty well and I think I could have a good shot but Brett needs to leave. I need to be at the FTC with Ian/Ashley because they're boring and haven't done anything anfkjsnfjkn. It would be nice to take Dom to the end but he's actually played the game too so like..it's difficult so everything lies on me winning immunity this round.

i feel like i completely messed up the immunity challenge all because i could see how many plus symbols there were and now i'm literally so upset because i don't want to leave and i feel like i could be if i don't win immunity. if i don't win i'm going to work with ian and dom to see if we can vote out either brett or ashley. it's important that brett or ashley don't win immunity because brett would just play his idol on the other one. if that happens, i'd have to work on getting ian or even dom out. i just don't want to leave.

I don't trust anyone left in this game. They can all jump of a cliff because they've all backstabbed me I don't even care if I go 5th.

That's what I thought until I won immunity asdfghjk. I really am blessed at F5 immunity challenges huh? Hahahahaha take that you little snitches!!

Now Dom and Luke are approaching me, wanting me to make a move with them against Brett and here I am just like:

Brett seems to want Luke gone, because duh he's his biggest threat to win. Brett has an idol and who in their right mind won't play their idol at Final 5 on themeselves.

Dom is trying to get me to jump ships and turn the tables on Brett. He claims he can get Brett to play the idol on him (Dom) and then me, Dom and Luke all vote for Brett.

Dude are you high? HOW WILL BRETT NOT PLAY HIS IDOL ON HIMSELF?!?! This ain't my first rodeo buddy, this kind of f5 scenario is nothing new to me. I win immunity in F5 and the person who is most likely to win the whole things happens to have an idol. (Shout out to JENN FROM)

It doesn't take a simpleton to know that no matter what Brett will play his idol ON HIMSELF and no else.

Now Luke seems to be the more logical one. He wants to save himself because he knows he's going so he wants me and Dom to make a move with him against Brett. But with Brett's idol, he's basically safe, so that leaves Ashley who's Brett's most loyal ally probably.

I don't really care, I know I'm safe and these bitches will have the whole day getting paranoid if I'm with them or not. Honestly this is just too similar to the Bora Bora F5. On one side you have Brett and Ashley (Basically Jenn and Nicole) and on the other is Luke and Dom (Kenneth and Renee)

Last time I stuck with my original allies. I stuck with them because like I still trusted them after they did me dirty and I could never hate Jenn and Nicole <3. BUT for this one, I don't care for Brett and Ashley. They turned their backs on me and I probably might just do the same.

Getting rid of Ashley might be a good idea because for these reasons.

1. Gets rid of Brett's loyal ally thus he MUST turn to me.

2. Luke stays in the game and increases the odds of someone beating Brett in the final immunity.

3. I secure Dom or Luke and I could make a deal with them to NOT write my name in f4. BUT I STILL DON'T TRUST THEM!!

I don't know what to do and I don't trust anyone. I'm going to check on Brett soon and see what he gonna do about his idol. Well obviously he gonna play it on himself because he ain't an idiot. Geez, Tyler you just had to provoke Brett in your final words...

Oh well either way, I'll be betraying someone so whatever. They did it to me first, so I'll just do it to them <3

It's such a crucial time in the game!!! I'm hoping to get f4!!! So scary but I'm glad I made it this far and I think everyone left Is deserving. I would love to go all the way to f3 but tribal makes me super nervous even when I am confident about votes like I have been!!!

I have immunity so I'm supposed to sit back and watch these chickens run around with their heads chopped off. I'm supposed to enjoy my weekend before another week of reporting, paper works and stinking PE dance routine.

If that's what I'm supposed to do then WHY AM I SO FUCKING STRESSED!!

First it was Luke and Dom wanting to make a move against Brett. Now Luke tells me Ashley wants to make a move to.

Now they're trying to get Brett to misplay his idol and I'm like WTF?! If I were Brett I'd play the idol on my self. The plan is for Ashley to convince Brett to play his idol on Dom and then pull a fast one and send his ass out.

Honestly this plan is crazy, but why do I believe that it might work?!?! I probably lost my sanity after I went crazy when Tyler left.

This is just like firing a gun in a dark room. I'm glad I won immunity because these people are becoming a mess like me <3

EPISODE LOST COUNT

Jev is gone. Luke is back. I'm thinking it's going to be the same exact vote as last time if Luke doesn't win immunity. If Luke had won immunity, it wouldn't have been the worst thing in the world. Luke staying around would mean that a target as big as myself was in the final 4 with me. However, Ian won instead and things seemed fine, but Ian wanted to target Dom instead of Luke. And Luke wanted to target Dom as well. I told Luke straight on that I had no interest in voting anyone but him off.

Luke is one of the classiest players I've ever had the pleasure of playing with. He doesn't take things personally. He is reasonable, calm, and secure as a person. For my money, Luke is the player of the season. And for all these reasons, he has to go.

But because Luke is Luke, he didn't go down without a fight. And I wouldn't have had that any other way. Luke put out feelers to Dom to play dead and get me to play my idol on him while they all blindsided me. Cute, right? Now--this was never going to work because I would have been fine with Dom leaving. I found that idol by myself on Day 3 and over a month later, I had no intention of playing that idol on anyone but myself. Ashley Sarah, however, the angelic creature that she is, filled me in on the plan and we got to have a lot of fun with the dramatics. She played things up to Luke while I was extra with Dom and Ian. In the end, all 3 of those goobers put their votes on me and I was able to successfully idol Luke out of the game.

Before I sign off, I want to acknowledge the original members of the Matterhorn Tribe now that they are extinct. Every time I put a pen to parchment and wrote down RENEE, ZACK, ABEL, JEVVON, and LUKE--each was bringing the people to justice who cast a vote against Keegan in the second round of this game. He deserved way better than he got and as I saw Luke leave the game, I thought to myself, "This is for Keegan. This one's for you, babes." I hope he's proud.

Throwback to Episode Three: "I've got one hand in my pocket and the other one's fisting Matterhorn!" Cheers, friends. We'll see if I can pull out a win this weekend.

We just made f4!!!! Wow!!! I feel bad for Luke but the 4 of us stuck together through all the craziness!!!!

Yeah I know it was stupid of me voting for Brett when I knew at the back of my mind he wasn't stupid. asdfghjk

But I made a promise to Luke that I will never write his name down again and I stood by that.

Anyway it's F4 Immunity with four parts. For the trivia it took me a while because I was double checking everything. The last part the memory, I was really shook that I only needed to do the boot list. I kinda panicked because I sent in the correct boot order but it was being labeled as incorrect. It took me like 3 tries then I thought I should include Benjamin's first vote out and that was the one that was making my answer inccorect. AHHHH, you sneaky little hosts!! These bitches better not have noticed that right away!! PLEASE LET THEM NOTICE FOR AFTER LIKE TEN MINUTES OF TRYING!!

I'm really stressed right now. Brett simply cannot win any of these 4 comps because if he wins immunity I might as well just give up because his resume is the best of the best. You could compare it to like his resume is like a manuscript for a wonderful novel while ours is like some little essay made by an elementary student lol

The endurance challenge, it's like between me and Ash followed by Dom. I'm feeling that Ash will win this one because she's fast. Dom just needs to keep scoring so Brett will remain with 1. BRETT CANNOT WIN ANYTHING AHHH!!!

The flash game, I did it yesterday, I've got a really good score that hopefully is high enough to snag first place. I'm gonna try and get a higher score but whenever I play, the game lags rip.

PLEASE LET JENN FROM'S POWERS TRANSFER TO ME!! I NEED TO WIN!!

PLEASE DO NOT LET BRETT WIN ANYTHING!! PLEASE! I'd give anything to make sure Brett doesn't win this immunity!! I'd give these hosts my first born son, my inheritance, my house, just about anything so Brett won't win!!

Ash has got to realize the she does have a good case but it pales in comparison to Brett's!! She's got to side with me and Dom on this vote in order for all of us to get an equal shot at winning!! PLEASE!! BRETT SIMPLY CANNOT WIN ANY OF THESE 4 PARTS!!

CAPS LOCK IS LIFE <3

Whew that was a tiring immunity. I think that we all did good tho!! I'm kinda glad Ian won cause he deserves it. I think we all do to a point but it's so hard to decide who should go after all the hard work. I really love Brett and I've been loyal since day 1. There's no way anyone has a shot at winning with him tho. I'm glad the three people I'm with are my fave choices. No matter who goes I'm gonna be sad.

I FUCKING WON IMMUNITY!! OMG, is this like a fucking dream?! I can't believe I'm keeping my never voted out status!!

However I can't celebrate yet. There is only one obstacle left and that obstacle is none other than Brett Ashley Hawkins. For sure me and Dom are voting him out no matter what. The real problem is Ashley Sarah. She needs to vote with us this round because I don't have confidence Dom can beat Brett in a tie-breaker lol

I've talked with Ashley and I acted I was on the fence between Brett and Dom. I'm pushing for her to vote Brett but she's a bit hesitant. UGH, girl can't you see that no matter how loyal you look like to the jury or by keeping Brett YOU WILL NOT WIN! She has to realize that she has a chance of winning is she goes with me and Dom.

Brett's telling me that he knows he's a good candidate to win but so is Dom. Well I can't speak for the jury but every one of us is threat to win BUT no one is big as a threat as you Brett. I'm taking this final shot at you no matter what and I'm begging you Ashley. Please pull the trigger! We got voted in by the community because they want us to succeed, don't let them down please Ashley! Pull the trigger!

I can't believe it's FTC!!! In a main season!!! I have been blessed this season to be with an amazing group of allies!! They really are why I'm here!!! Ty so much to Ian Dom Brett Tyler and Nick!!!! You guys were the best!!! I am so happy just to be here that i don't even care about placement!!! I improved and had so much fun!!! The hosts are now my new faves!!!! They made this season so great to be a part of that I really see this as one of my fave games!!!!

IF I LOSE TO DOM I'M GOING TO CRY!

[6/19/2017 9:45:03 PM] Brett Hawkins: I think you have Ben and Tyler no matter what combo

[6/19/2017 9:46:21 PM] Brett Hawkins: I think Dom or myself would have Jev & Luke

[6/19/2017 9:46:28 PM] Brett Hawkins: Dom would have nick

[6/19/2017 9:46:34 PM] Brett Hawkins: Nick is up for grabs if it's us

[6/19/2017 9:47:18 PM] Brett Hawkins: And that leaves Zack, Abel, and whoever goes home tonight

[6/19/2017 9:48:11 PM] Brett Hawkins: As far as it looks from my perspective anyway

[6/19/2017 9:49:18 PM] Brett Hawkins: I know I played bolder than Dom, but a lot of people might see an arrogance and pride issue there while Dom was a lot more friendly and subtle

[6/19/2017 9:50:50 PM] Ian (New Orleans Host): Yeah but like Jev and Luke had already set they're voting for you if you make it to FTC

[6/19/2017 9:51:56 PM] Brett Hawkins: If I don't, they're voting for Dom though

[6/19/2017 9:52:15 PM] Ian (New Orleans Host): How are you sure about that?

[6/19/2017 9:52:56 PM] Brett Hawkins: Because Dom had his hand working with them in several heists. The nick vote was dom's only misstep and that was out of loyalty

[6/19/2017 9:54:16 PM] Ian (New Orleans Host): That's still ain't a clear motive to want to vote to win.

[6/19/2017 9:54:33 PM] Ian (New Orleans Host): At least that's what I think

[6/19/2017 9:54:52 PM] Brett Hawkins: If you would rather have Dom represent our season, you should vote me out.

[6/19/2017 9:57:28 PM] Ian (New Orleans Host): You make it sound like he's dead set to win if he's in FTC

[6/19/2017 9:57:38 PM] Brett Hawkins: That's how I feel

[6/19/2017 9:57:52 PM] Brett Hawkins: I genuinely feel your choice is to lose to me or lose to Dom.

[6/19/2017 9:58:24 PM] Ian (New Orleans Host): Okay so I kinda feel offended tbh

[6/19/2017 9:58:49 PM] Ian (New Orleans Host): You're saying I absolutely have no shot at winning?

[6/19/2017 9:59:06 PM] Brett Hawkins: I feel like you haven't played a winning game, no.

[6/19/2017 9:59:17 PM] Brett Hawkins: I feel like you'll lose 6-2 to either Dom or myself.

[6/19/2017 10:00:57 PM] Brett Hawkins: Clearly you feel like you have a better shot against Dom, but you really should feel offended at yourself that you feel your game can't hold up to mine.

[6/19/2017 10:01:44 PM] Brett Hawkins: And that is the pride and arrogance you can expect to see from me if I'm still at final tribal council

[6/19/2017 10:01:53 PM] Brett Hawkins: Because I know I've played the best game this season.

[6/19/2017 10:02:14 PM] Brett Hawkins: And you know that too.

[6/19/2017 10:02:26 PM] Ian (New Orleans Host): Everybody knows that

[6/19/2017 10:03:40 PM] Brett Hawkins: Dom, for my money's worth, has had the most strategic game and has been in the loop with at least a partial controlling hand on the most votes once I leave

[6/19/2017 10:03:54 PM] Brett Hawkins: Like I know I'm being an asshole right now, ian.

[6/19/2017 10:04:00 PM] Ian (New Orleans Host): Yeah you are

[6/19/2017 10:04:04 PM] Brett Hawkins: It's just hard not to be

[6/19/2017 10:04:12 PM] Brett Hawkins: When I have put in this much work

[6/19/2017 10:04:36 PM] Brett Hawkins: I don't have 3 other orgs I'm involved with like Dom

[6/19/2017 10:04:40 PM] Brett Hawkins: This is it for me

[6/19/2017 10:05:03 PM] Brett Hawkins: Since November of last year, I have played 4 total including this one. I devoted my time to this.

[6/19/2017 10:05:13 PM] Ian (New Orleans Host): I've been with you this entire game and I can tell that you have played the BEST game here

[6/19/2017 10:05:35 PM] Brett Hawkins: Because I cared the most

[6/19/2017 10:05:51 PM] Brett Hawkins: Because second chance actually meant something to me

[6/19/2017 10:06:07 PM] Ian (New Orleans Host): It meant something to me to you know

[6/19/2017 10:06:11 PM] Brett Hawkins: I know

[6/19/2017 10:07:17 PM] Brett Hawkins: I'm sorry for coming at you hard

[6/19/2017 10:07:28 PM] Brett Hawkins: It's just frustrating to know your time is up

I keep telling myself that this is Brett trying to fuck with my head.

That conversation just made my desire to win even brighter! I'll be damned if I'm going to lose to Dom. I just can't! I CAN'T BE A TWO TIME 1ST RUNNER-UPPER!! The gloves are off bitches! It's time to turn off my emotions for these jury answers and just basically try and make my game look like a beautiful pasta compared to Dom's game.

FINALE

I realized that I hadn't really addressed the final round of my game at all. Here goes.

I worked harder than anyone to make this game exactly what I wanted it to be. After Keegan was eliminated, I had the courage required to annihilate anyone I had wanted to. I pulled off some of the most successful schemes of the season. I danced between groups at my own preference. I won challenges. I made connections. And it all came to a crashing halt because of 2 reasons:

1) I couldn't win one last immunity challenge.

2) Both Ashley Sarah and Ian both seem to believe that they have a chance at beating Dom in my absence.

Ashley Sarah was a big bag of word salad the day of the vote. She told me "I just don't want to go to fire." That is the single most idiotic and spineless thing she's said to date. That's not a reason! She wouldn't be the one going to fire--what the hell would she care? What she meant to say was "I like Dom more than you. Sorry!"

I told both Ashley Sarah and Ian once I knew things weren't going to go my way that their vote was going to decide whether I was the winner of Tumblr Survivor: Switzerland or if the winner would be Dom. I meant every word of it. Ian was not happy to see such words. He told me "Wow. That's really offensive." And I responded as candidly as ever. "Don't be offended that I find your game doesn't match up to Dom's or mine, be offended at yourself for playing yet another runner-up's game." This was as objective as I could possibly put it. I didn't say that to Ian to hurt his feelings. Ian is extremely likable and he's a skilled player, but the most memorable game move Ian made this season was wearing a top hat during a music video challenge.

So this is it for me! They all knew I would eviscerate them before a jury and that's that.

To Ashley Sarah, you're a lovely girl. I had so much fun with you. I honestly have no idea why you play these games. It's very clear you're not in it to win it and you're not particularly well spoken, so I'm really wondering: what's the point? I owe an apology to everyone on the jury because there are 7 people there in addition to myself who cared more about this and put more effort in than you ever did. I find your lack of desire to do anything except be there insulting to the hosts who put a lot of work into the season and to everyone who worked hard to succeed. I hope you consider things like this before enrolling yourself in 4 ORGs and host one in addition to that.

To Dom, congratulations. While I feel like the final three is made up of personal assistants, you shine as a leader among the company you're seated next to. I had so much fun playing with you and for 15 years old, I am extremely impressed with the head you have on your shoulders. Thank you so much for teaching me everything you've taught me.

To Ian, I'm sorry I wasn't that great of an ally. It was really difficult to be true to you when I saw Tyler's impact on you clear as day. I think you're fantastic and while I don't feel like you deserve to win this game, you have loads of potential and you have impressed me a lot in certain aspects of this season.

To everyone who placed beneath me and the ten individuals that did not get voted into this season, my gameplay was a love letter to all of you. The competition was strong and I had a lot of work cut out for me. You're all inspiring and I'm very happy with this season, all in all. Thank you for playing with me.

To all the players, my confessionals are an immediate, first reaction to the things that happened in this game. A lot of my opinions might be rough or brutal, but a lot of them have softened in the days (and in some cases, hours) that passed. I am sorry if I have offended in anyway. Well, for the most part. If you were unlikable, that's on you. You're probably not that big a fan of me either, anyway.

To the hosts: Drew, Amanda, and Abbey, thank you for putting up with my obnoxiously large ego for over a month. You all should see the same therapist Trevor and Owen went to after dealing with me the entire Myanmar season.

And speaking of Myanmar, a major thank you to the hosts and cast of my previous season as well as Tate Hornford, Zakriah Wahid Razzak, Aras Djonovic, and Will Lott for giving me insights on the players I wasn't familiar with, inspiring an extremely diplomatic, open, and friendly chat between Logan and myself once the season began, and for cheering me on every step of the way. I really hope I did you proud.

And lastly, my game and the strategies implemented therein is all to impress Mr. Keegan S. Thank you so much for your wondrous friendship and support, for being my first original ally that every ally in the 4 games I've played has had the dread of attempting to measure up to, and for pushing me to be the best player I can be. I kept the promise I made to you--not one person that wrote your name down left with this season's crown. This game is dedicated to you.

Thank you.

Me in Bora Bora while answering jury questions:

Me right now while I answer these jury questions: