#throw some peanuts at you if you dont see me

[glitterghost]

I think crawling into my phone to hang out with my mutuals and followers would heal me. ✨️

[icewindandboringhorror]

Misc. photos from the past year or so ~

[wizard-mp4]

twice a year for me

the craving for peanut butter descends like a wolf sometimes

[realcube]

hiii my sweet toe bunny😍😚🤎 i have an upcoming gigahuge exam bc it will determine whether i have to go to school for another whole damn year or not so im getting the stress hornies big time!! your requests seem to be open for some reason?! good writers like you are usually busy with a flood of them so i can never request anything😭 but anyways i was gonna throw you this little peanut, a classic really: size kink with lev! dont even know if you write for him lol, couldnt see it on ur profile🥲 i think he’d have the size kink more than any of us ever could, i just feel like he goes crazy especially if its a much shorter person. bc having a size difference from far away is one thing, but being right next to the person and interacting with them and putting your hand on their back and realizing you’re nearly twice their size… is another.

feel free to ignore this pookie butt im soo sorry if this is too specific or something ☹️☹️ writing is hard and getting inspired by someone elses idea is even harder, so yeah. stay hydrated and keep emitting gamma rays☃️

LEV HAIBA + SIZE KINK

a/n → not the sweet toe bunny 😭 stress hornies is so real, sorry for replying so late rah. but i hope your exam went well. or if you haven't sat it yet , good luck and i hope this helps :) also thank you so much for i compliments i can'tttt aaa 😩 wc — 2.5k

tags/tws → size kink (ofc lol), petite!reader, breeding, vaginal, fingering, oral (giving), frenching, petnames, semi-public, pregnancy implications & no beta

you've seen haiba lev before, in magazines and on billboards. sometimes even on television, promoting luxury perfumes in advertisements or modelling designer clothes on the runway.

you knew he was tall — most models are — but it was only when you saw him in person that you realised how truly big he is, how he towers over everyone else on set.

you work as an intern for a famous fashion brand, and you met haiba during a photoshoot he was doing for their new office wear campaign. your job was mostly fetching food or drinks for the models; making sure they were comfortable at all times.

the first interaction you ever had with him was when you were handing out water bottles to the models as they walked onto set, and as soon as you saw his huge frame saunter in, you almost froze from shock. he flashes you a polite smile and mouthed a quick "thank you" as he followed the director to where ever she was leading him.

and though it was brief, that was enough to have you fixated on him for the rest of the photoshoot. you were attentive to your duties but still so mesmerised by him. his lean figure and silvery hair. you had always known lev haiba was exceptionally attractive — he's a model, for fucks' sake — but something about seeing him in person made you feral.

and little did you know, after he first saw you, lev kept an eye out for you too. admiring from afar how hard you worked, and making sure to flex just a little bit more for the photos whenever you were nearby. he just thought you were so cute.

you assumed this whole situation would end as a little temporary work crush. you can fangirl over him for now and blush whenever he smirks at you from across the room, but once this shoot was over, he would never think of you again, while you'd go back to seeing his face plastered nearly everywhere and fantasize about what could've been.

but that wasn't lev's idea. he was used to pursing what he wants.

when the shoot is nearing completion for the day, lev has a long conversation with the photographer and is one of the last models to leave the set.

you were tasked with helping the models remove the designer's clothes, if they needed it. thankfully the majority of them didn't and by the time lev entered the changing room, all the others were leaving to go home, and you were wishing them a safe journey.

"excuse me, ms?" you hear a voice call from the changing room, followed by lev stepping out from behind curtain. he was previously wearing a full suit, but you can see he's shedded the black blazer and was now in only the fitted white shirt, black trousers and dress shoes.

he was looking down and fiddling with the buttons on his shirt, "could you help with this, please?" he asks with an awkward chuckle.

lips slightly parted at his unexpected inquiry, once the initial shock fades, you hastily nod and guide him back into the changing room, and this time you enter with him.

it's a confined area but still somewhat big. there's enough space for the two of you to stand, a stool, a clothes rack and full length mirror. he stands before you while you work on unbuttoning his shirt, starting from the top.

"sorry for asking you do this. the buttons are just too small for me." he holds his hands up as a size comparison, and they're undoubtly big.

"it's okay," you stutter, not daring to break your intense stare with his buttons because you know if you were to look up at his face, you might die. "i know these can be very fiddly sometimes."

"exactly." he nods in agreement.

it takes you quite a while to even reach his mid-torso because your hands are shaking so much from being in such close proximity to a celebrity you admire so much. and not only that, but you're literally taking his clothes off. and lev takes notice of his and comments, "nervous?"

your eyes widen and you freeze, heart jumping to your throat. eventually, you're able to squeak, "kinda."

"why?" he laughs, but not in a mocking way. he's genuinely confused as to why you'd be scared of someone like him. it's funny because people usually praise him for being very friendly and approachable.

"you're just.." your voice trails off, trying to think of a way to explain yourself without sounding offensive. "intimidating, y'know, in stature."

lev laughs even harder this time, "woah, that takes me back to when i was in high school. people used to be scared of me because i was the tallest kid in class." he explains, and you detect a hint of pride in his tone.

"that makes sense." you muse, continuing to work on his buttons but it becomes increasingly difficult. especially as he captures your chin between his fingers and pushed your head up so you meet his fiery gaze.

"doesn't make any sense to me." after soaking up your cute flustered expression, he glances down and sees you've only got one button left to do, so he prompts, "go on."

since your fingers are already latched onto it, you're somehow able to undo it without looking. he then releases his grip on your chin so he can slip the shirt off, hanging it up on the adjacent rack.

now shirtless, he turns to you and hums, "your turn?"

lips pressed into a line and heat burning your cheek, the only response you're physically able to give is a meek squeak accompanied by an eager nod. which doesn't even begin to encompass your enthusiasm but perhaps that's for the best.

he smiles at your agreement and grabs the bottom of your top and pulls it off in one swift motion, leaving you standing in your bra in front of him. and before you have a moment to process any of this, he slips one arm behind your shoulder and his other hand reclaims its spot on your jaw to manoeuvre your head upwards, so it's ready to receive his kiss when his lips suddenly come crashing down onto yours.

despite your tact, now that his lips have locked with yours, you find yourself melting into his touch and moving your against him rhythmically. your bodies — though vastly different in proportions — arching into each other desperately.

while one hand sloppily undoes his belt and pulls his cock free from the designer trouser, the other hand on your jaw slowly moves to hold your cheek as the two of you kiss fervently, then it shifts up to your ear, then tangles itself in your hair which he uses to gently pull you away.

you whine quietly at the seperation, missing his hot lips against your own, and he smirks at your reaction. eyes glued to yours, he rasps, "you want it, pretty?"

he motions downwards and you bite your lip at the sight; his size alone is enough to leave you dumdfounded and nodding pathetically, eager to hop on to his monstrous length.

"good girl. think you can handle it?"

"uhuh." you whisper, shaky hands wandering down to take hold of him, and he lets you. in fact, with his grip on your hair, he yanks you down until your face is mere inches away from his tip, "taste first."

with hesitation, you drop to your knees and graciously accept as much of him as you can into your mouth, though that is barely even half. lev still appreciates it; the warmth of your mouth causing his breath to hitch. his cock even twitches at the sight of your cheeks puffed out, struggling to hold him inside.

when his tip prods the back of your throat, it causes you to gag a little, so you immediately jerk away from his cock and cough into your arm.

a concerned look crosses his features and he lightly rubs your back to aid your coughing, "ah, sorry." he apologises, as if it was his fault his cock was so huge that you were gagging on it.

"it's okay." you grate once your coughing fit has calmed down, throat still a bit dry.

he offers you his hand to help you stand up, "c'mon, cutie, that's enough teasing." he reassures you.

you place your hand upon his and as he guides you to your feet , you can't help but notice how big his hand is compared to yours. your thoughts suddenly becomes flooded with fantasties of what you want those big hands to do to you, which he notes by how your touch lingers for a couple moments extra after he lets go.

identifying what your longing for, he presses his lips against yours once more, engaging in a heated make-out while his hands wander down to unzip your jeans and tug them off, leaving you in only your underwear.

while he creeps in tongue into your mouth to make for a french, his long slender fingers rubs your labia through the fabric of your panties, amused by how wet you are already. "still think you can take it?" he basically breathes into the kiss, parting for barely a second to mutter his inquiry.

you reply with an affirmitive moan into the kiss. and just in case that wasn't clear enough, you hook your leg around his hips to give him better access.

he gladly slides the damp strip of material out of the way and sticks his two fingers into your hole, silently snickering at how you writhe at the stimulation of his fingers alone. but you can't help it; they're just so long at push against your walls in just the right way that makes your needy pussy flutter.

the wet noises from your pussy fill the changing room, shortly followed by your stifled moans — afraid other staff might be nearby to hear. his palms rubs against your throbbing clit, as his fingers shallowly thrust inside you. the minimum amount of stimulation needed to make you squim.

lev simply stares at you, enchanted by how your tight hole clings to him, and how the size of his palm compares to your pussy. it's like he could scoop you all up in one hand; hold you tenderly in his hand like a precious doll.

"sweet girl.." he idles, fingers stirring inside you, "fit me so well."

just as he says that, a hiss is drawn from you at how he harshly pulls his fingers out of your hole.

"bend over for me." he commands nicely, and without a second thought, you turn around and bend over, positioning your forearms against the changing room walls to balance you. while you do this, lev has already hooked a finger under the lace of your panties and dragged them down until they fell to your ankles.

his fingers rubbed over your labia, occasionally teasing your clit and soaking up your slick with each seductive movement. his other hand worked on aligning his cock with your glistening hole, until the bulbous tip was prodding against your enterance, at which you let out a low whine of confirmation.

however you didn't fully understand the capacity of what you were giving yourself up for until it was halfway stuffed inside you, contorting your plushing walls to accomodate his massive size and creating a slight buldge in your abdomen. truly it had knocked the wind out of you and despite him no longer being crammed down your throat, you were still choking on it.

as you writhe and mewl in attempt to cope with the intrusion, lev pauses and takes a moment to admire your figure beneath him. how you're so kindly bent over for him, and your tight cunt is struggling to accept his cock.

you were just the right size. with you bent over, he was still tall enough to place his hands on the wall above you, essentially capturing you under him. his sweet angel ready to take him all, and he couldn't help his eagerness to give you what you want.

before he knows it, his hips start to move autonomously against yours, ramming his length into sopping pussy repeatedly, making a lewd squelching noise with every sharp thrust. the volume of which made it clear to anybody nearby what was going on in this changing room, though you didn't have the power to try and silence it, as the hot arousal pooling by your pussy was the only lubricant that facilitated lev's entrance into you, and main reason it was possible for him to move within your homey walls.

his dick stabbed into you over and over, while his slender fingers drew lazy circles over your clit. you were trying your best to stay hushed in fear of being overheard, but lev didn't seem to care. he was allowing the moans, profanities and obscene exclamations to flow freely off his tongue with out a care in the world for who might hear.

"fuck, cutie, so tight." he squeezes the flesh of your ass, then lets his hand wander up so it rests on the small of your back. he's just so much bigger than you, if he wanted he could probably pick you up and fuck you at his height so he doesn't have to bend his knees so much. it's a miracle you're even able to fit him all inside that petite little pussy.

it gets him so hard so see you like this. stripped bare and trembling under him, stifled moans brewing behind your lips and legs trembling as his colossal dick thrashes against your insides. relentless and bruising your cervix with each fervish thrust. completely fucked out from being impaled by his dick, your arms have given out which levaes your cheek pressed lazily against the wall of the changing room. the cold plastic making contact with your skin, hardly enough to combat the waves of searing pleasure he sends rushing through your quivering body.

"can't take it, huh?" he leans over you, his breathy words tickling your shoulder, "too much for this little pussy? too big for my sweet girl?" mindless dirty talk spills from his mouth as his eyes squeeze shut and he basks in the warmth of your walls clamping down on him.

and he pries them open again only so he can get another look at your shaking body, struggling to take him all but persevering. and with the friction of your hole , along with the sight of your small waist held in his soft hands, it wasn't long until lev finished inside you, spilling his hefty load within the confines of your gummy walls.

his cock was pushes out in the process, which made you sigh of relief, but with his hand already positioned on your clit, he was hasty to stuff his fingers right back into your creamed pussy, causing you to gasp.

"sorry," he whispered, straightening his posture and shuffling back, "just don't want to get any on my trousers. they're designer." he chuckles to himself, meanwhile you are still bend over with his load filling your insides; fully exposed and panting.

"maybe i should've used a condom." he muses, playfully curling his fingers, resulting in an erotic moan departing from your lips.

lev laughs heartily, as though he had just cracked the funniest joke, "nah. raw's more fun." he yanks his fingers out, leaving you to feel the full force of his cum stirring within you, "who knows, maybe next time i come back here, there will a tiny version of me."

he places a final kiss to the nape of your neck before heading to pick up his shirt, "and i don't just mean tiny because of your genes."

[jackmanbj]

dangerous

summary: your upset with jack for climbing the wall for signing a fan’s autograph but you quickly get upset for something way worse.

you and jack were on your way out the stadium leaving the Louisville football game

“jack i actually cannot believe you did that!” “baby its not the deep” jack reached for the door handle helping you in the car.

you waited for jack to get into the car before saying anything else.

“jack you don’t understand you could have got hurt baby” “but did i?” “j-“ “no did i get hurt?”

jack was obviously frustrated by what he called “your nagging.”

“jack your missing the point..like what if you fell and broke something? or got a concussion?” “but i didn’t!” “but you could have! you actually so irresponsible it’s aggravating jackman!” “how am i being irresponsible!?” “jack, you cant keep up with shit, now your climbing walls to sign paper? get your life together!” “what do you mean! name one thing i cant keep up with!” “your earrings? your PG ring? YOUR FUCKING WEDDING RING THATS NOT ON YOUR DAMN FINGER? JACKMAN WHERE IS YOUR FUCKING RING?!”

jack already knew he had lost it in the stadium, he was just going to hide his hands as much as possible and get it replaced.

that went out the window quickly.

obviously.

“i-“ “YOU WHAT?! JACKMAN YOU BETTER JUST SAY YOU LEFT IT AT HOME!” “babe, i.. i lost it in the stadium” “..drive me home” “wait baby!”

you held your hand in his face stopping him from talking.

“drive. me. home. NOW!” jack sighed and started driving.

megan called you and you quickly answered “hi babe!” “hii megann!” “girl whats wrong you look pissed!” “jackman here lost his ring in a football stadium.” “his PG ring?” “ha, no! his fucking wedding ring.” “..oo, i pray for him” “he’s gon need a LOT more then a couple prayers..”

“ma hang up the phone.” “what no” jack seen your phone was connected to the car and hung your phone up through the car screen

“jackman what the actual fuck” “ma where finna be home call her when you get inside i dont wanna hear that shit” “oh really? and i dont wanna see my husband without a ring on his finger. i might as well throw mine out the window huh?” you quickly started rolling down your window but jack rolled it back it

“put your damn ring back on y/n and dont you fucking try that shit” “jack you dont understand” you started tearing up as jack pulled into the driveway

“come on mamas lets talk about it inside” jack got out the car and went over to help you out.

you were in tears and jack was trying to calm you down.

“shh ma its ok, i promise” “no its not! you long your ring..” “baby..” jack pulled his ring out his back pocket and put it in front you

you looked at him confused “what?” “it was a prank baby. im sorry ma. come ‘ere” “are you serious?! thats not fucking funny!” “im sorry baby”

jack brought you in for a hug “i didnt mean to make my pretty baby cry” “mhm can we have a movie marathon?” “of course baby comon” “put your ring on first”

jack chuckled at your request before slipping on his ring while you took yours off making jack look at you confused “i wont be wearing my ring till this time tomorrow.” “HUH?!” “you heard me baby, now the blankets while i get the snacks” “bring some ranch and peanut butter ‘n chicken!” “ew! your so white baby, but okk!” “whatever”

you and jack ended your night in kisses and cuddles, falling asleep to nightmare before christmas.

[kumezyzo]

literally love you for all the streamer!reader hc cus no one else really does it 🫶🏼🫶🏼 (pls do more for my well-being ill beg 🤧)

hehe. first thing that came to mind was the creation of everest. so here you go. fem!reader

i was so incredibly sleep deprived and in a random holiday inn express in colorado/kansas when i started writing this. so its my brain basically on crack trying to describe harmonies in my cellist little peanut brain 😭😭

i also assumed this anon wanted bf!sapnap... and im sorry if thats not the case. just pretend i never wrote any of that.

anyway, enjoy! or dont... :) m.list

bsf!dream who asks you to harmonize on the vocals with him.

"its like barely an octave higher," he tells you as you stand infront of the microphone. you roll you eyes and adjust the headphones on your head.

"its barely an octave higher," you say, mocking his voice.

"yea and then its higher on the second 'coming down' and keep it high but flat," he says easily.

you stare at him with furrowed eyebrows as you think over his words.

you sigh, "i hate being your friend."

bsf!george who teases you when he hears your vocals added to the song.

"oh my god, yn's singer era?" he grins at you. you groan and shove him playfully.

bf!sapnap who hears your raw vocals and just feels like a proud bf that you stepped out of whatever comfort zone you had to sing in dreams song.

when people hear the take with all four of you, they can actually tell because of your voice.

during bsf!dreams promotion for the song, he posts on tiktok with the title 'yn not singing and stalling for three minutes'

its a compilation of you talking and pacing around the studio, prolonging a groan, and insulting clay as much as you can. and saying obscenities into the microphone, obviously.

"im hungry, are you guys hungry? we should go get some food....and not come back-" "ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

"clay, youre a bitch." "clay, i hate you." "dream is a bitch, sub to me-" "so high like im on acid-" "i thought nick and george were supposed to be on this song too."

bsf!george who complains about how much you and sapnap were pelting him with snowballs during the music video.

"for some reason they gave them all to sapnap. and he gave half of them to yn," george said recalling the semi-traumatic events. "and both of them throwing them were so painful."

on your own stream, you talk about the behind the scenes of the music video.

"shes [amouranth] actually such a cool person...i was about to leave nick for her-"

"what you guys didnt see after nick popped the champagne, was that he proceeded to point it at me and completely drench me in it," you say pursing your lips in annoyance. "and it didnt even taste good!"

"they asked me to join this little pillow fight right here," you said pointing at the screen. "and instead of hitting kaitlyn, i went around and smacked the fuck out of george. but you can barely see it."

"i really hope they didnt get that energy drink on the carpet..."

bf!sapnap who suggested you getting in a bikini like the other girls in the music video.

you look at your boyfriend blankly, "your such a perv-"

i liked writing this. thats it. -nony

[explodingstar]

Simon’s Caretaker

Warnings: talk of alcohol and drinking. Pairings: Some of TF141 x reader

“Oh come on darling, come hang out with us!”

You look at the two big military men sitting on the couch in front of you. “I don’t like going to bars Simon, you know this.” You look at him and he basically has his puppy dog eyes begging you to come with him. “Oh one time won’t hurt. Right Johnny?” “Right!” Johnny says looking up at you from the couch. “I said no now go have a boys night and call me if you need anything.” You smile at them as they get up from the couch. “Bye!” They both say goodbye back in unison and walk out the front door. 

You head to bed and put your phones volume all the way up just incase you get a call from them while they are out. A couple hours go by and you wake up to multiple dings from your phone. “What the fuck?” You turn on your phone to see you were invited to a mass group text between you and all the guys on the task force. You start reading the messages and then you get a call from Johnny. “Hello?” “Hey bestieee!” Johnny slurs over the phone. “Hey look you have to come pick us up  things got a little bit wilddd and Price and Gaz joined us and now Simons throwing up cause he drank too much and none of us can drive safely right now sooo you have to come get us” He says over the phone trying to use his charm so you say yes. 

“Dammit Johnny. What bar are yall at?” You say rubbing your eyes while trying to find a pair of shoes to throw on. “Oh you know the usual. Simon im on the phone with Y/N!” “Okay ill be there give me like 15-20 minutes.” You grab your keys and head out of the house. “Okay thank youuu!” He hangs up the phone and you put yours down and start driving over to the bar. You get there in like 15 minutes and everyones outside. Johnny and Price are kind of holding up Simon to lead him into the back seat of the car. They get him in and sit on both sides of him. Gaz gets in the pssenger seat and you start the car back up. 

“Simon you okay?” You ask looking back in your review mirror. He gives you a thumbs up and you look back at Johnny and roll your eyes. 

“Thank you for coming to the rescue again Y/N. Johnny says. “No problem guys.” 

You take Price and Gaz home and start driving back to the house you share with Simon. “Johnny do you mind staying the night so you can help me get him into bed” You laugh looking back in the review mirror and seeing Simon curled up in the backseat asleep. “Yeah I dont mind” Johnny looks at you and laughs. Yall get back to the house and open up the car door. 

“Comeon big man” Johnny says as he tries to pull Simon out of the car by his arm. Simon wakes up and stumbles out of the car. “Heyyy loveee” Simon looks at you and smirks. You smile and unlock the door while Johnny is basically carrying Simon at this point. Everyone heads inside and you lead Simon to the bed and help him lay down. “Thank you Johnny for helping I would not have been able to do that myself how much did yall drink anyways?” “Only likeeee a beer n a half” Simon slurs. Johnny bursts out laughing “maybe like a bottle and a half for you alone!”

“Seems about right.” You laugh and go into the kitchen to get a glass of water and a peanut butter and jelly sandwhich for simon. “Johnny feel free to eat whatever you want im gonna go lay down and try to make him eat this.” You walk back into the bedroom and hand Simon the sandwhich and glass of water. “Here eat” He takes a couple sips of water and a couple bites of the sandwhich before handing both back to you and passing out for the night.  “And this is why I dont like going to bars” you fijish the rest of the sandwhich but put the water on the nightstand along with some medicine for his hangover in the morning. You lay down and wrap your arms around him before going to sleep yourself. 

A/N: I have no internet right now so Ive been bored outta my mind just writing away. (I skimmed over this at like 5am so if there is any errors im sorry lol)

[meowjaa]

he looked at me like there was something worth seeing..

warnings: its just fluff, im loving the enemies to lovers what about you? anyways set in season 7 no spoilers! enjoy my loves <3

“Enid i’ll talk to you later, I promise i’ll get you the flowers that you saw!” Carl smiled as Enid was sitting on the railing of Olivia’s house where she stays at ocasionally.

“Thanks Carl, you really are great” Enid smiled as she watched Carl walk away heading towards the back of Alexandria where much people do not go unless they want privacy.

I watched of course because why not, I dont like Carl I never did.. seeing him having a relationship with a person is gross because I grew up with him duh.

Thats the only reason of course im not jealous I swear.. I decided to follow the boy trying not to make it so obvious that I was following him, every once in a while he would turn around.

After a while he finally decided to hop the fence, climbing this rod that was holding the walls up and jumping over it, hearing a thud afterwards as I quickly ran over I started climbing it looking both ways making sure nobody was able to see me.

I jumped over the wall landing on my knees as my hands hit the ground as well, just a slight bit of pain blossoming throughout my hand, “Nice one YN” I quickly look up as he holds his hand out.

I shove it away I was place my hand on my knee and push myself up wiping the dirt stains off my jeans as I roll my eyes “I only followed you because we’re not allowed to go out of Alexandria”

“You do, so why cant I?” Carl sigh as he starts walking away.

“Fine I was following you happy now?” I roll my eyes as I follow him.

“You followed me because..” Carl looks over at me as he pushes the Glock 9 into his gun holder and I look down at it, “Glock 9 huh? I honestly expected better..” I say in a sarcastic tone.

We both walk a few miles deeper into the forest as we arrive to this over runned van, with vines and just plants growing over it the door was broke off but could still be shut, the windows were covered with a net so that nobody could really see inside.

We both arrive and carl stops “You first,” He waits for me to arrive at the door and walk in “Wow such a gentleman you are..” A smiles form son carl’s face but he wipes it off his face fast.

We both walk in and carl sits down, there's a shelf with comics and a few empty water bottles as my eyes move around the shelf there's a pile of roses, “Is that for Enid?”

He looks at the roses and then quickly back towards me “Yeah we we’re just reading some comics and she saw them but we couldn't get them cause there was a few walker’s..”

I smiled softly and Carl threw a comic at me and it hits me on my chest “CARL!” I say loudly as I throw the comic back at him, he rolls his eyes and continues reading the comic him flipping the page and the sound echoing.

I reach for my backpack as I pull out this peanut butter and jelly sandwich its sliced diagonally, I take a bit and just sit there watching the outside in case there our any walkers interrupting this moment.

“Also lets not talk about what happened a few days ago.. we don't talk about that we we’re both at our lowest and stuff!” I look at him as he just nods his head obviously not paying attention.

Carl slowly looks up as his hat slowly tips down his face he pushes it back up and sighs, “Are you going to eat the other one?” I laugh and shake my head side to side handing the other sandwich slice to him.

“This is nice just two buddies eating sandwiches together!” I say sarcastically.

“Buddies? We’re buddies we rarely talk to each other busy talking to Ron..” Carl says.

“Because atleast Ron has the balls to speak to me!” I say as I sit on the other side of the van in front of him, 

“Hey carl, I get that we both dont like each other but at least laugh once it makes me feel like im not funny” I let out a slight chuckle just watching him looking directly into my eyes, carl then forms a small smile on his face.

“Was that a smile from the one and only carl grimes!” He laughs he takes another bite of the sandwich and as he chewed he just looked at me freaking out because he smiled, he continued chewing just smiling as he did.

“I will never forget this moment Carl, I havent seen you smile since you were like 9″ He laughs and I laugh as well, “Also if you date Enid, your mad lucky shes a gorgeous girl” Carl smiles and looks down.

As I continued talking about my days and just anything about books/comics I read he just looked at me just admiring  me, he looked at me liked there was something worth seeing.

...

He’s my enemy, right?

[m0ther-of-p3arl]

bury me six feet in snow

(robert aeor high au p1)

masterpost

-heyo! if you do not know, this is the first installment of an au i have decided to write. i speedran this today during school and it's finally finished, so here ya go *throws writing and runs away*

Half-gorgon, half-siren, the worst of both worlds. Instead of petrification, his eyes spew ice, freezing anything in his path. Instead of the bright green snakes and irises and scales he should have, in any of these spots that should be the toxic green exclusive to a gorgon, Scott is a light-hued cyan color. He’s an eyesore. His father’s told him this many times, how the only thing he’s good for is wasting his parents’ money and being a disappointment- how at least he could have had the decency to be born with the right colors, at least, maybe then Scott wouldn’t be such a terrible child.

or, Scott lives with abusive parents, and his best friend, owen, is a constant through it all. (yes jimmy'll be thrown in here soon dont worry i have it all planned out >:)

TW: verbal abuse, homophobia, internalized homophobia, depression, anxiety

(3444 words)

He hates peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. His breakfast sits there, unbitten and untouched, the jelly just a little bit too blue and the peanut butter just a little bit too gray. His navy blue uniform chafes against his skin, and he wishes now more than ever his parents hadn’t sent him to private school- but of course, they know best, so he won’t question it, even if the uniform hurts, especially when he pulls his shirt on over his head, his snakes hissing at the contact with the coarse fabric. His chair is just a little too stiff, and his feet don’t quite touch the ground- everything is just slightly wrong, just so slightly off that he knows he’s out of control-

Scott risks a glance up from his meager breakfast to see his father, seated far across the long table that takes up the middle of this windowless room, staring stonily down at him. His gaze is full of judgment and Scott would’ve flinched, if this wasn’t something he was used to by now. If he didn’t know how much a show of weakness could cause him, another lecture on how he needed to act, how he needed to be, so the world would know who he really is. Scott quickly looks back down, his heart rabbiting intensely in his chest from his father’s intense gaze.

Scott’s waiting, waiting for his father to say something, he knows it’s coming, and he steels himself for it, but his father just…stares. This is… a little strange. Is Scott’s father trying to petrify him? That wouldn’t make any sense, though. Father is smart enough to know that his petrification doesn’t work on fellow gorgons, and even if Scott isn’t really a gorgon, that’s like, the first thing you learn when you’re given your shades. Scott gingerly lifts his sandwich from his plate and takes a tentative bite, not daring to look up, hoping that it’ll taste at least a little different, hoping there’ll be something at least a little new-

Blech. Same as always. The grape jelly squishes between his teeth and the peanut butter sticks to the roof of his mouth as he chews and swallows, the familiar taste almost vomit-inducing at this point, the texture mealy and uncomfortable in his mouth. Scott’s been having the same breakfast since he was eight, and he’s always wondered why, given how much money his dad makes, he can’t just have something a little more…appetizing? 

Maybe something new, Scott really likes Indian food, and he’s not particularly inclined towards PB&Js. At least for lunch, he can sneak some food from Owen, who’ll make a fuss about it but in the end will always oblige Scott’s requests, because Owen knows that Scott’s particular about his food, and he doesn’t get much else- Scott wishes Owen was here now, to knock on his door and save him from his father’s withering gaze.

Scott’s father clears his throat, pulling Scott out of his thoughts, and he immediately looks up, mouth still full as he swallows quickly, snapping to attention.

“Scott.” 

Scott’s name on his father’s lips is dripping with disdain, the way it always is, loaded with disgust and disappointment, cold as the ice that carpets the ground wherever Scott looks. It burrows into Scott’s blood and even though he’s heard it oh so many times before, it still cuts a little each time, and Scott wants to do something about it, but instead he waits for his father to continue. Maybe if he doesn’t interrupt, Father won’t hate him, maybe he’ll be worth at least something, maybe Scott’s not a complete disappointment and “a wretched curse upon his family,” as he’s heard so many times before.

“It’s time for school.” It absolutely is not time for school, school doesn’t start for another hour, at least, and Scott opens his mouth to say so-

But he opens his eyes instead, to find he is still laying in his four-poster bed, the sun shining in through the window as his father looms over him. “W-what?” Scott’s still confused, his brain hasn’t quite wrapped itself around the fact that he’s just awoken, part of him wondering why he isn’t still sitting opposite of Father at the unfamiliar oaken table that takes up a whole empty, hostile room.

“I said, wake up. You can hear me, can’t you? Or are you deaf as well as defective?” Father’s voice is laced with venom and Scott wants nothing more than to burrow beneath his blankets again, because even the father in his dreams is less horrible than the one he has in real life. No, not horrible, he’s not horrible. He loves Scott. Father just wants what’s best for him, just wants to make sure he grows up to be a real man.

Scott can never tell his father that he’s- his insides reel with disgust even thinking about his secret, the slimy truth of his existence.

He doesn’t need to be thinking about that this early in the morning.

Scott sits up, eyes still blurry with sleep, his cyan snakes hissing in front of his face as he pulls them back behind his head, the icy feel of their scales causing a shiver to run through his veins. He sits up straight, trying to be presentable, because that’s important, he needs to be respectful to his father, but everything’s tinted ice-blue- Scott’s eyes widen in a sudden realization. He’s not wearing his shades and he needs to put them on now, quickly, or he’ll cause so much damage, if he hasn’t already- his hands scrabble over the bedstand until he finds them and he breathes a sigh of relief, pulling the dark glasses over his head.

Oh, no. He hadn’t been quick enough, he realizes, as he surveys his room, streaks of ice embedded from the wall, spiking out at odd angles, as dark and horrific as the way his father glares down at him, because Scott’s just done the worst thing possible, he’s reminded his father that he’s broken-

“I-I’m sorry,” Scott mutters, looking down at his feet, “I thought I was g-getting it under control.”

“Clearly not.” Father sneers, his own glasses blocking out his bright green eyes, eyes that petrify, the eyes that any real gorgon should have.

Eyes that Scott doesn’t possess. 

“Now get dressed and prepare yourself for school. Your mother and I did not pay this much money for you to be late. And let yourself out. I can’t stand the sight of you again this morning. Worthless boy.” Scott’s father turns, green cloak sweeping behind him as he steps regally down their looping spiral staircase.

Scott sighs. He had hoped that for once he might have a normal morning, one where he didn’t disappoint his father and one where maybe, maybe, the curse of being a hybrid would go away, the curse that isn’t even the worst part of who Scott is. He wishes his mother was here.

Not that she’d be any kinder to Scott about his situation, of course. But she was, at least, less aggressive. Her form of punishment for Scott was more often than not a session of intense siren hypnotization, trying to fix him, to get him to be one or the other. 

Scott’s mother has a gorgeous voice, so he doesn’t mind her luring him into that sleepy state where she can possibly figure out if there’s some way to eliminate one side or the other. Because Scott’s mother is not a gorgon. She’s a siren, and Scott doesn’t really understand how she and his father got together, as they’re both extremely conservative about inter-species breeding- and most things in general. And yet somehow, they’d gotten together and had… him.

Half-gorgon, half-siren, the worst of both worlds. Instead of petrification, his eyes spew ice, freezing anything in his path. Instead of the bright green snakes and irises and scales he should have, in any of these spots that should be the toxic green exclusive to a gorgon, Scott is a light-hued cyan color. He’s an eyesore. His father’s told him this many times, how the only thing he’s good for is wasting his parents’ money and being a disappointment- how at least he could have had the decency to be born with the right colors, at least, maybe then Scott wouldn’t be such a terrible child. 

Scott hates himself.

As he pulls on his navy uniform (that bit, unfortunately, was not a dream), his snakes hiss against the rough fabric and he growls under his breath, because why on earth would anyone make clothes of any kind in this burlap-like material, much less school uniforms? And the pants- Scott wishes he could wear something a bit more flowy on his legs, something that would let him breathe. He should start a rebellion, he thinks wryly, before his anxious brain speeds up and works out what the actual consequences would be if Scott did attempt something of the kind.

If news got back to his parents, he might have to go a week alone in this gigantic, cold house. He doesn’t want to do that again. Even horrible company is still company, Scott hates being alone- and the worst part is, his father knows it. Now (un)comfortably slid into his uniform, Scott steps quietly out of his room, closing the ice-covered door behind him, sighing and running a hand through his snakes, which hiss softly at his touch.

At the bottom of the twisting marble staircase, a familiar peanut butter and jelly sandwich is resting on the newel post. That had also not been exclusively a dream-world thing, and Scott hates the world for it. Why must he have this, day after day, for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? But he takes it anyway, because any food is better than no food, and begins to cross the expansive marble floor, making his way to the ornate double doors.

The entrance is emblazoned with two giant “M”s for Major, the family name. Scott doesn’t like to use that name. It reminds him of his father, and anywhere except home should be a reprieve from the constant scrutiny and judgment. So instead, he decided to use Smajor as his last name, combining his first initial with his legal last name. It feels silly and lighthearted, turning something he hates into something that makes him snicker whenever someone mentions it. He’s gotten to the point where he and his friends have gaslighted half the school into thinking that Smajor is his legal last name, and Scott loves it. 

Scott Smajor. It just has a nice ring to it. 

Scott shoves open the massive doors and begins to walk through the impeccably manicured front lawn, the small cobbled path he treads upon surrounded on all sides by professionally trimmed hedges, perfectly cone-shaped birch trees, lavender bushes and poppies that ring the numerous ponds. The expanses of water are completely artificial except for the precisely placed lotuses floating serenely on the dark water, and even despite that concerning detail, anyone would think this was paradise. But Scott knew better. 

This garden is beautiful, sure, in the same way a postcard is beautiful. There’s always something… off about it. Maybe it’s the way the breeze doesn’t ruffle the leaves, the way that the ponds are always as still as ice. It just feels fake. Scott’s whole house feels fake, acres of space around it, a mansion in its own right. Made of stock-white marble, with sweeping buttresses and arching colonnades, it’s a work of architectural genius.

But just like the garden, it’s just about as genuine as the celebrities that pump themselves full of plastic and alter themselves so they resemble celestials, who are widely considered to be the most beautiful of the sentient species (though Scott personally thinks avians are the cutest, with their short stature and bird-like mannerisms). 

Scott quickens his pace, pushing open the wrought iron gate and stepping out onto a normal neighborhood street, typical houses lining the streets. Scott notices rain beginning to drip down from the sky. He sighs in relief, the cool water offering a reprieve from his destructive thoughts. His family are the only wealthy people on his block, and their estate covers most of the left side of the street- but if he ignores it, he can almost pretend he’s a normal gorgon with normal gorgon abilities, who’s just walking down the street to fetch his best friend. And that is what Scott’s doing, so at least he can have half of his fantasy.

He’s reached the small brick house at the end of the road, a simple, overgrown lawn and a cluttered pathway that offer a striking contrast to the perfectly manicured front garden of Scott’s house. He carefully walks up the dirt path, jumping left and right to avoid tripping on the toys strewn all over the walkway, presumably left there by Owen’s little sisters. And Owen has a lot of little sisters. But that’s to be expected with tieflings- the biological females are always born in pods of four or more, while the males are born only ever one at a time.

Scott makes it to the end of the path and gingerly climbs the rickety stairs up to Owen’s sagging front porch, rapping three times against the door with the old iron door knocker. Almost immediately, the dark mint green door swings open under Scott’s touch, paint flaking off and drifting into the air. Scott instinctively brushes the dried varnish off his clothes, the unpleasant sensation of the fabric against his skin tingling in his fingertips, as he looks up, straight into the bright smirk of his best friend.

“Scott!” Owen flashes Scott his trademark grin in greeting, his curly brown hair flopping down in front of his orange-tinted face between his two similar-colored horns. Suddenly, a screech erupts from inside the modest house, and Scott just near jumps out of his skin. Owen glares back into the house. “Pipe down, will you?” He rolls his eyes and slams the door shut. Scott can’t imagine having one sibling, much less the nine rambunctious little sisters that Owen has to live with daily. In this one aspect, at least, Scott doesn’t envy his best friend.

Owen sighs. “Sorry about that, how’s life at the mansion?” Their feet fall into synchronization as they begin the walk to school, the rain dribbling down even more now, splattering the sidewalk with dark stains. 

“It’s…fine,” Scott lies, turning his head to the side so he doesn’t have to meet his best friend’s eyes. Owen knows full well how much Scott hates it there, how much he wishes he could go somewhere else, anywhere else. He’s told Owen about his father and his mother and just…all that… multiple times, but Owen has never been the best at feelings, and though he’ll offer Scott a brisk hug on occasion, Scott’s learned it’s better just to not bring it up. He’s pretty sure Owen doesn’t want or need to hear about Scott’s trauma, if it can even be classified as trauma.

It can’t, really, nothing horrific has ever happened to him, just…his father. And though it hurts, Scott knows that it’s not half of what some people have to live through. But he’s still learned it’s better not to bring up his experiences with people, especially Owen. He doesn’t want to sour their friendship, doesn’t want to ruin anything he hasn’t already broken with his clumsy hands.

Owen surprises him this morning, though, grabbing Scott by his shoulders and turning him around to face him. “No, it’s not.” It’s not a question, and Owen’s face is serious, not his typical silly smirk. 

Scott tries weakly to smile, but he’s pretty sure it looks more like a grimace. “No, it’s not,” he mutters, repeating Owen’s statement as he stares up at the rain-heavy clouds.

“Is your dad being a dick again? From what I’ve seen, he’s a real unsavory man.” Owen’s not looking at Scott, which he appreciates. Scott doesn’t like eye contact very much, it always reminds him of how his father will stare at him, judging and prying and looking for any little imperfection he can pick at until Scott cracks and admits that yes, he is a disappointment. Sooner or later, Scott always has to admit that he’s nothing more. He knows that Father’s always right about that kind of thing.

“I don’t know if I would use that language, Owen- I’m sure he only wants what’s best for me.” Owen scoffs at his words. “What?!” Scott snaps, “He’s not a bad person, we just have differences sometimes.” Scott knows it’s not true, knows the words he speaks are false, but he can’t admit anything else to himself and he can’t let anyone else know how hard he’s got it, because in reality, he hasn’t got it that hard at all.

Owen throws Scott a skeptical glance, but he stays quiet about it the rest of the walk to Robert Aeor, the high school they both attend, and the conversations shifts to lighter topics, giving Scott a much-needed reprieve from thinking about himself, about how despicable he is, how he doesn’t deserve a friend like Owen-

He shakes the thoughts from his head, the rain beating down hard now, Scott’s uniform almost completely soaked through. “You couldn’t have thought to bring an umbrella,” he asks Owen sarcastically, a smirk lighting up the corners of his mouth.

Owen sighs dramatically. “No, Scott, I did not bring an umbrella. But neither did you!” He raises an eyebrow, poking Scott lightly in the chest. “Maybe you should think on that, eh, Mr Rich Guy? You’re the one with all the money.”

“I’m also the one who still eats a soggy peanut butter and jelly sandwich for breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day, Owen, as you may recall,” Scott jests, elbowing his best friend in the ribs. 

“Yeah, and what about that? You’ve been mooching lunch off me for the better part of five years, Scott Smajor, and when do I get paid back for all those pizza slices and bagel halves, huh?” Scott snickers slightly, and Owen’s face lights up. “Hah! I did it! I made you laugh!” Scott immediately quashes his grin. “What on earth are you talking about, young man?” Owen raises both eyebrows this time, a look that means he means business. “First,” he begins, counting off on his fingers, “I’m older than you-”

“By, like, a month,” Scott scoffs, rolling his eyes.

“A month and sixteen days,” Owen corrects, pointer finger raised authoritatively in the air. “And two, you’re always Mr Grumpapotamus- you almost never laugh!” He spreads his arms high in a wide, sweeping circle, as if to illustrate his point about just how much Scott never laughs.

“I do too laugh,” Scott grumbles, though he’s not really angry, he can’t remember the last time he was truly angry at Owen. “I laugh all the time.” “No, you absolutely do not!” Owen remarks incredulously.

“Do too,” Scott sulks, pushing his snakes out of his eyes. “You’re just not there to see it.”

“Scott, we’re literally together 24/7. That’s all the time, Scott. All the time!”

The conversation continues in this vein for quite some time, and before Scott knows it, they’ve reached Robert Aeor, the sizable brick building looming over his and Owen’s heads. Scott stares at the building, where he’s gone to school for the past three years. Soon he’ll be out of here, soon he’ll be eighteen, and then, as soon as he gets his college degree, he can get out of here.

Maybe he can even get a boyfriend- Scott’s eyes widen, realizing his mistake. No, that’s horrible, disgusting, what would Father think? He’s supposed to be fighting his imperfections, not leaning more into them, Owen’s the only one who knows Scott’s secret and that’s only because he guessed, he wheedled it out of Scott like only a best friend can do.

He can see Owen glancing over at him now, concerned, in his peripheral vision, but he doesn’t turn. He doesn’t deserve Owen’s worry and he doesn’t want it, he doesn’t need it. 

“Well, I guess we’d better-” Scott stops short in his sentence, because Owen’s hugging him, warm orange-tinged arms wrapping around Scott’s shoulders, and he thinks he might cry, he hasn’t been hugged in so long-

And then it’s over, and Owen’s whispering in his ear, “Stay safe, okay?” The thing is, Scott doesn’t know if he can. And that’s the part that hurts. 

[wally-friggin-franks]

hey. hey pint.

feck i forgot what i was gonne say.

uh. ye got any funny stories from t'e studio ye wanna share i guess? -🪚

pff hi shawn

uhhh i gotta think but im sure theres a few. uhhhhmmm. hm.

i mean one time i guess i was just biting mean ppl. yk as i do. jack waltzes up ta me, right, n they says, they says ta me- "hey, chomper." and thats like the highest honor ive ever recieved. idk. thats not the story i wanna tell but its somethin. its important to me. they are warm and soft like mashed potatoes

,,actually lemme try n tell multiple short ones. not including the smelly peopel/silly

one time i was like really friggin sleep deprived, right. like went a full week without sleepin. me n grant bump into eachother n it goes "first time, kid?" and i responded with some sort of unholy abomination of slurred together jumbled sounds. he goes "oh. yeah def. your first time. you get used to it. here." he gives me a SPARE FULL CUP OF COFFEE. WHERE DID IT GET THAT. anyways i chugged it like it was my life support n' i was fine for a few more days until norman caught me and dragged me, by my ear, the whole way home. basically threw me towards me couch. i think i said somethin' like "im FINE" and then immediately passed out for 2 days straight

speakin' of norman- shawn, d'ya remember that prank we pulled on it and henry that one time, where we tried SO HARD to set up little mistletoe around the studio in places we thought theyd be together. but freakign. CONNOR WHEATLEY KEPT TAKING THEM DOWN WITH THE DUMB REASON "ITS NOT EVEN HALLOWEEN" OKAY SO WHAT WE R ON A MISSION. FRICK YOU WHEATLEY FROMTHE WRITING DEPARTMENT.

um. anyways. we just ended up tripping norman into henry and they just hugged but thats a win in my book.

lets see. allison invited me over once to bake, right? so i says to her, hey, im not that good at this, i still don't trust myself around the can opener. she goes "nonesense!" .....anyways that ended with a few injuries and the most mediocre peanut brittle youve ever seen. dont ask me. we gave some to susie and she FOUGHT to give me a thumbs up bless her heart. altho i did have to empty the trash can full of the discarded stuff which like so valid. it sucked so bad im sorry miss susie cksbjf

OH MY GOD OKAY so at some point i was tired of just. throwing away my empty cleaner bottles. so i cleaned some out and started usin em as like. drink bottles. right? although i had to stop when people saw me chug them and thought i was making unwise decisions. so that only lasted a week. i think i scarred a few people for life. but the lemonade i put in em was bomb ok its not my fault

if ya want more, i can prob'ly think of more. i should. prob'ly go to bed for now, though

[defiantdreemurrs]

im willing to bet a vast majority of people who dont eat veggies (who can afford to of course, im not talking about people who cant afford to eat healthy), even those who are autistic and picky (like me), dont like a lot of them because they were served bland steamed veggies without any seasoning.

i hated a lot of veggies growing up until i moved out on my own and learned how to actually cook them. you GOTTA season them. throw broccoli in a pan with some olive oil for like 5 minutes and then top with salt and a little garlic powder. dont like it? try different seasonings. maybe add pepper. maybe instead of garlic try something else. broccoli too done? not done enough? try cooking shorter or longer. check it every minute or so while you cook and see if the doneness feels right to you.

dont like the texture of broccoli? try a different veggie. brussel sprouts are *so* much better than you were led to believe if you cook them right. zucchini also is really good like this. just keep trying things.

you can also roast them or stew them like OP said. chop them up and toss them in olive oil, salt, pepper, garlic, whatever you like. throw them all on an aluminum lined baking sheet. throw that in an oven at 350 degrees F (190 C) and let it go until you *just* start to see charring (i like my veggies a little on the charred side, if you dont like the taste of burnt things then take note of how long that was and then dial it back a few minutes next time). i dont have any stew recipes on hand but check allrecipes theres a lot on there.

so many of the ingredients we cook with are actually really bland and boring on their own. youd be SHOCKED to know how much butter and seasoning goes into the food served at a lot of restaurants. seasoning helps to bring out the natural flavors of the food we eat as well as enhance them and there is no real “right amount” other than what you like (which gets complicated if youre cooking for multiple people but its ok to leave some out and then add it into your own portion later, itll taste different than if it was cooked in but its not *worse* tasting).

i know for a lot of people theres a lot of other factors and you may just not be ok with the inherent texture of a lot of veggies and thats ok. but i know a lot of people on here probably are just used to shitty boring bland steamed vegetables (as opposed to genuinely good steamed veggies which ARE a thing, heres a hint they have lots of fat and salt) and have been taught that adding too much fat and salt to their food will make it unhealthy when fat and salt are literally integral to just about *everything* tasting good.

and if you dont like olive oil feel free to substitute with whatever fats you prefer. butter can add creaminess. peanut and rapeseed are neutral oils though peanut does sort of have its own taste (i love it with stir fried veggies). hell cook your veggies in bacon fat if you want a tasty salty porky kind of vibe to it.

and also feel free to experiment with HOW you cook them. roasting in an oven is slower but less hands on. sautéing in a pan is how i like to do it because its faster and higher heat and more fun but its a bit more involved cause you gotta watch it and stir a bit so it doesnt burn. stir frying is GREAT and FUN but can be a bit challenging if youve never made it before. i assume you can use an air fryer if you have one but i dont know how well they handle things coated in fat cause ive never used one?

veggies are delicious and theres so many ways to cook them and im sure youll find one out there that you enjoy. have fun with it and dont stop experimenting until you feel satisfied.

i mean this in the gentlest way possible: you need to eat vegetables. you need to become comfortable with doing so. i do not care if you are a picky eater because of autism (hi, i used to be this person!), you need to find at least some vegetables you can eat. find a different way to prepare them. chances are you would like a vegetable you hate if you prepared it in a stew or roasted it with seasoning or included it as an ingredient in a recipe. just. please start eating better. potatoes and corn are not sufficient vegetables for a healthy diet.

[pwblogarchive]

November 2004

November 2, 2004

“Complaining Couldnt Touch This Kid.”

i would feel bad ever telling anyone what to do. i have thought for months what i would say or how i should act- ive thought and thought. i don’t like kerry or bush (i like kerry alot more than bush though). i am going to vote for john kerry. i won’t beg you or tell you to do anything. but if you are of voting age and are in a swing state. please think hard and make the choice that fits you best.

peter

November 3, 2004

your princess is in another castle

happyhalloween

November 3, 2004

5:47 pm

booyah

November 4, 2004

“brothers and sisters.”

the smell of fall. leaves. the weakerthans show- "the sidewalks watching me think about you". both ewok movies back to back. peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. the things they write about me versus how it really goes. the book being in my hands- how we all feel in our skin. sometimes when you're caught you just gotta throw your hands up and confess. the way you smile when you say his name like you never do with me. new songs.

peterpumpkineater

November 7, 2004

“things that mean other things always don't mean a damn thing in the scheme of things”

being home is always a rollercoaster for me. things are good, then ok, then pretty bad, then good, then bad again (not always in that order). im getting by more latley on a pair of really thick glasses and no faith in human beings. as of now i have a pro-tools situation and have been recording things, mostly just making up stuff on the go and seeing how it turns out. so far its fun. ive had a lot of my mind as of latley, just how there's so much good that turns straight to bad and im always like this the night before i leave. certain things are constant struggles for me but i keep fighting them and i dont know why sometimes when i end up feeling wrecked, but i guess my brain is trying to tell me that the few struggles i take on are worth fighting. i dunno anymore. i hope so though, because no one should feel unhappy like i do at a time like this. im not unhappy with my life, just unhappy with an aspect of it. otherwise things are pretty ok. i took my dog ben on a walk today and he was running around a lot. i picked him up a few times though he is getting far too large for that and will so be too heavy. i saw some of my friends today, not everyone that i wanted to or everyone as long as i would like to. but the people i spent my time with were more than worthy of it. the one thing that bugs me about going away for long periods of time is when i get home i feel like everything has changed around me to a degree where i cant keep up. like im a step behind every time i get home. eh, late night thoughts.

November 11, 2004

“drop it like its hot”

The day spent dreading flying. I am scared to fly for some reason. Make it to las vegas. Our flight to l.a. Was cancelled. Drove from vegas to l.a. Began working on the songs. Me and patrick are sharing an apartment here, so are joe and andy. Its like old times. The weather is amazing. There are so many good shows here. Went to over it. Gonna try and see morrissey in a couple of days. Hung out with my friend kate from the fight. She's rad. We went up on muholand drive and saw the entire city. It made me feel like I couldn't breathe. She says the word "vitamins" funny cause she's british. She also say the word "safe" a lot and calls sneakers trainers. Their record comes out next week. I command you to buy it. I miss home but this record is going to be worth it. I promise. Its going to make you think about things in a new way.

Sorry for the boring journal entry. I realize I didn't get the closure I wanted from take this to your grave. This record will have the most brutally honest words I have ever written.

That's all. Lets get hitched and grow old.

Peterpan

November 14, 2004

“I've got a dark alley and a bad idea that says you should shut your fucking mouth”

We've got about 23 songs right now. Were gonna cut it down and figure them out. Its strange staying in one place for so long. If you're watching tv tommorrow- we snuck some tickets for the american music awards- I'm sure well be like a million rows back but well try to start a fight or spill a drink on someone famous on camera so you can get a laugh. I'm sure they'll never let us stop by again...

Peterpumpkineater

November 15, 2004

“finally an entry that doesnt involve joe's general tso's chicken”

the AMAs were less than interesting as i am sure anyone who watched knows. ana nicole smith was fucking faded as hell. it was like watching a blondehaired trainwreck. walked onto the red carpet by accident but we are so unfamous that we didn't even get in trouble. got to eat good food and people watch at stupid parties. hung out with my buddy chad and some kids. watched kanye west with like thirty other people- kanye west is amazing. im getting pretty sleepy. maybe ill think of something better in the morning.

im

just

out

of

chances

p

November 15, 2004

we only do it for the attention.

I'm just a broken emo record.

Time to retreat to other areas.

You know where to find. Or maybe you don't.

me and patrick are gonna go cry and hold hands.

Wink. Smile.

Peter

November 17, 2004

4:16 pm

“after the party theres the hotel lobby”

yeahyeahyeah. we're becoming so l.a. psyche! anyway. i dont have much to say except the weather is radical here. after our chicago metro show on dec 29- we're gonna have an after party and prescreen the release the bats dvd- maybe youll hear about it and stop by. youll laugh. youll cry.

laterskater

November 24, 2004

“its too bad you only look so goddamned beautiful when you're crying your eyes out”

i am going to do a better update soon. but just to say- the recording is coming along. andy is almost done with drums. his hair is so flowing. like a pony. nyc was amazing as usual. we have some suprises coming up. (if you don't like suprises than you also probably don't like saturdays, palm trees, puppies, ice cream, first kisses, etc). fuse was fun. thanks for coming out and hanging out, i felt pretty dorky and was a glad there were some people there. im sorry i had to leave right from there to my plane, so i am sorry i couldn't stick around and hang out. we'll be there all day on dec. 26th to make up for it. also, it was definitely weird being anywhere with out the rest of the band so don't expect too much of that. we are attatched at the hip.

you can get "the boy with the thorn in his side" at select hottopic's starting this week. if yours doesn't have it, ask them to order it for you.

more later. peter

oh yeah to the girl who gave me the signed morrissey picture and jetted before i could thank, THANK YOU.

November 26, 2004

their eyes are like pills. its funny. the blue ones take to you down. the brown ones pick you up. it doesn't even make a whole lot of sense looking back on it now. there are a couple of sets of eyes that are like bookmarks in life. they are there to mark the chapters. highlights so you pay attention to the changes. dogeared pages. the way she looked at me the first time- all the blood ran out of me. with the biggest eyes. that trusted and believed and dreamed and hoped and lived. so i blinked. i faked like i couldnt tell. i was always so goddamned scared to see my own flaws reflected on them. and i cant count the times i crushed them. and you realize that they will never look up at you the same.

i cant blame you for giving up on me.

join the club.

i have a lifetime membership.

- petey

November 28, 2004

“professor murder”

ok so my new shoes are kind of bad looking. but i like them. both are dunks. one are lowtops and pretty much are bears colors, the others are high tops and are white and blue. i own way more than 5 bad pairs of shoes. i own about 11 that only i enjoy and are not here to impress anyone. they know i love them and i let them know that at least once a day. maybe ill take a group picture of them for you if i get around to it. what i really wanted to say is im sorry i got into xbox so late, but i just wanted everyone to know that just because i started play knights of the old republic 4 days ago doesn't mean i haven't almost beaten it yet. because im just that close. and i made sure to buy the new lord of the rings rpg for such cases where i will need a new video game. but when kotor2 comes out, i will be learning so many force powers you'll wish the force was with you too. but its not. its mostly with me. my dog gets to have some too cause he can jump really high and can still be picked up even though he is teetering on 70 pounds at only 5 months. good job ben! you're growing up! he's probably more a dark jedi because he still nips a little and thinks it's real cool to pee when he gets excited. sorry ben, not cool my friend. just funny. anyhoo, its been a while since ive given a list of what i currently enjoy. here is such a list:

music:

owen-i do perceive

aloha-here comes everyone

pig destroyer-terrifyer

brian wilson-smile

interpol-antics

isis-panopticon

tusk-tree of no return

frank zappa-broadway the hard way

video games:

star wars knights of the old republic-xbox

lord of the rings the third age-ps2

star wars jedi academy II-xbox

grand theft auto san andreas-ps2

dvds:

aqua teen season 3

home movies season 1

arrested development season 1

star wars 2: clone wars

tv:

tom goes to the mayor

internet:

yahoo mail

food:

chicken in most any form

[winderlylandchime]

1/2 WE ARE AT 3x14! He ran to the kitchen to get himself another soda while singing ‘im at the finish line!’ Over and over. ‘Ohhhh that’s a little depre- WHY ARE COPS HERE? WHY IS IT BLACK AND WHITE?! Look its my boys. *throws a fist in the air* yeah! Fuck cops! Brian is right, it will take more than some flyers! I mean he made everyone love him sooooo who should know better?’ ‘Emmett, come here and let me give you a hug. (em says his dad bought him boxing gloves) did you know that before mom found you at a bus stop, they made me play soccer. I still dont know why they changed their mind.’ (The coach literally begged my dad to not bring him back because he pulled his pants down in front of all the parents and 5 other kids followed it up. He was 6) ‘i agree with Brian, shopping therapy is good for the soul. Awwww look at Justin showing him his art work! This is what I was robbed off at the beginning of the season!’ Hunters mom just showed up ‘MOM?! I don’t trust this bitch. Yeah, no, something is weird’ ‘BRIAN! What tape? What did he bring this guy? Is it a sex tape? Someone answer me!! What the hell did Brian bring him? He looks pretty.’ Ted just showed up at Mels and Linds ‘OH NO. Leave Emmett alone. You’ve done enough! Don’t hurt him more! WHY DID MIKE TELL HIM? Emmett RUN! LEAVE HIM! GET HELP TED. This is sad, i hate this.‘ The bar scene where the ad is shown is now happening. *kinda jumps up and down while sitting* ‘ITS BRIAN! AND JUSTIN! Why are we watching tv Brian? *his jaw almost dropped* what the fuck? Was that the tape he gave to that dude? Did he convince them to play it? I knew he could do it.’ ‘Does Justin know that Brian gave those dudes that tape? (Brian and Em scene is up at the club where they see Ted) aww brian and Emy and Justin. Cuties. Awwww Brian and Emmett are gonna dance! I TOLD YOU THEY COULD BE GREAT FRIENDS! You ARE both tall! I, as a human being deserve to see more of them together. What do i have to do? YES BRIAN TELL HIM! See, my boy cares! Look at them dancing together. Adorable best friends’ ‘HUNTERS MOM DID WHAT?! FUCK HER! I KNEW SHE WAS WEIRD! I will fucking burn this place to the ground if they don’t protect him!’ The scene where Brian is selling stuff is up!! ‘What is going on? Why is the loft empty? HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS?! WHAT THE FUCK DID HE DO? HE IS THE CONCERNED CITIZEN FOR THE TRUTH?! WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK?! I thought he convinced those guys to do it? Holy shit Brian. Possession withdrawal, ha that was funny. He did it because of what Justin said?! Didnt Justin also do something because of what Brian said? *points to britin kissing* my boys! Or as the youth says it: GOALS OF SHIP or whatever’ teds party is now up :/ ‘oh ted. Ted ted ted. Please this is horrible. Youre gonna die if you dont stop. What are they watching? WHAT THE FUCKING HELL IS THIS SHIT?! DID THEY RAPE HIM? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? TED PLEASE RUN AND GET HELP! LET THIS BE YOUR WAKE UP CALL PLEASEEEEE WHAT THE FUCK!’ ‘AW BRIAN IS GOING TO VOTE. At the beginning he hated voting and now he’s on his way to do it. I love it. Damn. I wish it was Justin and Brian that would go together to vote. HES SELLING THE PEANUT CAR! HA!’ ‘Oh ted thank fucking god! Finally you saw the light, im so sorry it had to get that far but YOU GO GIRL!..BLAKE?! OH MY GOD HE WENT BACK TO REHAB! he looks good! IM SO HAPPY HES ALIVE AND GETTING HELP! HES THE COUNSELOR?!?! BLAKE I AM SO FUCKING PROUD OF YOU! MY BABY GOT BETTER!’ ‘MICHAEL IS TAKING HUNTER?! OH MY GOD HES FINALLY NOT BORING! Maybe it rubs off on Ben and he also stops being boring’

TOLD YOU THEY COULD BE GREAT FRIENDS! You ARE both tall! I, as a human being deserve to see more of them together. What do i have to do? YES BRIAN TELL HIM! See, my boy cares! Look at them dancing together. Adorable best friends Your brother loves the platonic KinneyCutt! YES! I’m grinning.

GOALS OF THE SHIP I’m dying!

I love how protective he is over Hunter. His mother is such an asshole.

And yeah the heartbreak over Ted’s rock bottom (omg when Brian hires him for Kinnetik your brother is going to break his face with his smile)

Finally Mikey does something good!

[slashingdisneypasta]

Ram Sweeney x Reader || Headcanons

Topic: Dating HC's

Notes:

*Sigh*... I write regularly write for creeps like Freddy Krueger and Offenderman... and am one of the few tumblrs that write for Sheriff Hoyt romantically... and yet Kurt and Ram are my real guilty pleasure characters.

Anyway I hope someone other then me wanted this XDD I'm gonna do a Kurt one too.

Warnings: Some NSFW but not explicit.

Your song: The Way I Loved You (Taylor Swift)

He respects my space and never makes me wait

And he calls exactly when he says he will

He's close to my mother, talks business with my father

He's charming and endearing and I'm comfortable

...

But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain

And it's 2:00 a.m. and I'm cursing your name

So in love that you act insane

And that's the way I loved you

Breakin' down and coming undone

It's a roller coaster kinda rush

And I never knew I could feel that much

And that's the way I loved you

You two as a TV/Movie/Book couple: Bianca Piper and Wesley Rush (The DUFF)

Having the kind of relationship that no one else understands at all. Like, you have nothing in commen except commen history and your feelings for each other (Which are, on the other hand, totally clear to everyone) but when you're together you're always laughing and being affectionate.

Being in an on and off relationship throughout middle school and highschool- but never and I repeat; Never, is anyone permitted to mess with you at all. Because Ram always considers you his, even when you arent together.

So yeah, you always have 2 (Ram, and Kurt) large football star bodyguards at your disposal.

Being very playful together.

SOOOOoooooo much PDA. Including: Making out in the hallways and at school events like football games (You dont care who sees), sitting in his lap or at least squished close to his side at lunch, him throwing you over his shoulder to carry you places, him giving you piggy back rides, him picking you up and twirling you around, him just standing behind you with his arms around your waist and his chin rested on your shoulder when he's bored (With everything but you), his arm being over your shoulders as you walk together, you wiping peanut butter on his nose to get a rise out of him and then running away so he'll chase you, you peppering his face with kisses to make him laugh, etc.

Having a turbulent relationship. Because while, when all is well you two are like peanut butter and jelly and seem like the perfect highschool sweethearts, when you arent it's because Ram has gotten really jealous over something and called you a terrible name (Skank, whore, slut, bitch- any of those) or you understandably got irritated by his bullying and/or being a perverted, sexist asshole and you have huge, blow out fights in the middle of school and by the end of the period the whole student body knows about it.

You give him the silent treatment and the cold shoulder after those (If you didnt break up, that is) and he sends Kurt to give you messages.

When you make up its because he sincerely apologises although he doesn't 100% understand what he did wrong which becomes part of the next fight.

As you've been together so very long, he is basically part of your fucking family. He's so familiar and casual with your parent/s and/or sibling/s. They love him so much that, whether you're with him at the time or not, they allow him into the house and your bedroom with a cup of tea and snacks. (Its the 'American dream' popular-boy / football-star thing.)

So yeah, sometimes when you're mad at him or he wants to get back together (Which generally you want to do, to. You honestly have the same biological timer. Its like, 3 weeks pass by of being broken up and then ding ding ding! You both get the feelings its time to get back together and start sharing grins in the hallway and talking to your friends about eachother) you'll just find him waiting for you in your room when you come home.

Hanging out a looooooot with Kurt. Movie nights at your place, hanging out at the mall together on weekends sneaking out to see them at the football field at night time, etc. When you're sad, they'll both turn up wherever you are to cheer you up, too! Goofballs.

This does not mean there arent times where Ram shoo's Kurt off, though, when you two want some alone time together (*Eyebrow wiggles*) because of course. I'm just saying, you're a close-knit group.

When you are alone together, not much changes from when you're around others honestly XD You're still just as playful and affectionate. You just, you know, also have sex.

When he's down, you rusk your graceful image and climb through his bedroom window to be there with him. You dont fuck, you dont even really kiss. You just climb into bed with him and he'll tuck you under his chin and close his eyes. Legit old married couple. And you two sleep- by morning, he usually feels better and refuses to let you get out of bed with him.

"Five more minutessssss, babe!" He whines, holding you against him and pressing kisses to your head. You know he'll just say that again in 5 minutes time- and over, and over, and over again.

"Oh- no. I've been caught in this trap before Ram. We have school, so we have to get up. Come on!" You push firmly at his stomach (or abs) with your fists; not that that does much as he just just groans or gathers your little wrists in one big fist to stop you (Either way he certainly doesn't even flinch). His eyes are still closed. You sigh.

Now you have two choices, you can either give in and snuggle back into him for the rest of the morning, or threaten to send an attack towards his groin and he'll literally fling himself outta bed. Like "OH LOOK AT THE TIME- Kurt's gonna be waiting for us outside. Lets go!"

There are also mornings that you wake up with him (No sad Ram the night before necessary) and are all too happy to stay there with him. You just adorably nod into his chest, eyes still closed and making the cutest half-asleep morning sound when he asks if you wanna stay here a bit longer and he happily pulls the blanket over both your heads; shielding you both from the real world for a while.

OKAY MOVING ON FROM THAT FLUFFINESS.

You are also the only person who has any sort of control over him and Kurt. Like you can take them down a few pegs with just a look.

You two do date other people when you're broken up but its clear to anyone watching that these are just nice place holders for eachother. Neither of you are ever as happy with others as you are with eachother. You're ridiculously in love, actually.

Ypu were the first one to say I Love You, and he immediately called Kurt for guidance XD

Places you've had sex (Because it is always the full monty with Ram): Both your bedrooms so so so many times, the school bathrooms, his car, Kurts car (Kurt was NOT pleased.), the back of the football field, under the bleachers during a game or pep rally (he was benched for being too violent) + under the bleachers during practise + under the bleachers when the football field is deserted, the back of the school, the faculty parking lot at school, Kurts and Heather Chandler's houses (Parties. Basically a Westerburg High party is not complete without Y/N L/N and Ram Sweeney breaking in someones bed), his parent's car, the woods, cow pasture (a picnic blanket was used), and finally some mall changing rooms.

You leave him messages on his answering machine. He listens to every one of them (Which means something because he doesnt listen to anyone elses, unless he's gotta get through them to get to yours).

Him being SUCH a jealous asshole (With everyone except Kurt).

HIM STANDING UP TO THE HEATHERS FOR YOU.

#PromKingAndQueen

Having Kurt "Smartest guy on the football team," Kelly be your (Occasionally, live in- yes, he has slept over with the two of you on the floor so he could break up fights) couples councellor. Often his advice is 'fuck it out' but he also comes up with oddly wise shit sometimes. Mostly he's just very exasperated though. Like, its obvious you two are gonna end up together- stop bothering me with this shit. Let me get some pussy for myself guys please-

You two getting a bit frisky on movie nights with Kurt and he throws stuff at you. He just starts bringing a pool noodle (That he drew an angry face onto) along with him and hitting y'all with it whenever he feels its necessary. Cuz I mean, on one hand, of course he's happy for his bro Ram that he's getting his dick wet, but on the other- ITS FUCKIN MOVIE NIGHT, PULL YOURSELVES TOGETHER FOR T W O S E C O N D S (Oh the irony- it does indeed escape him). He'll park his ass right in the middle of you two if you keep it up.

If he had survived, you and Ram would have broken up after graduation and spent college apart, before bumping into each other again back home as new (Improved. Especially him) people that fit together better now and ended up getting back together for good.

[daddynegandesires]

Secrets chapter 1

Summary: Daddy Negan and (y/n) had a falling off with eachother but what happens when a new man pops up in his life trying to be a better father than he was at taking care of his little girl and his use to be girlfriend.

Warning: jealousy, anger, fighting, some smut, violence, cheating

18+

(Updated)

*flashback*

Objects were flying all over the house (y/n) was screaming at the top of her lungs chucking any items she sees in her way at negan.

"Hey!...hey! Calm the fuck down!!" Negan yelled dogging the picture frame that came flying at his head shattering on the wall behind him.

"You fucking peice of shit! I knew you were screwing around behind my back!" Tears streaming down your face you marched to the kitchen grabbing a big knife out of the knife block streching your arm out towards negan with the sharp tip almost grazing against his throat.

Negan quickly grabbed your hand steady that was holding the knife trying to persuade you to put it down your whole body was on fire shaking with rage.

"Baby....put the knife down...you dont want to do this" negan slowly began pushing your hand away sliding the knife out of your grip placing it on the counter behind him.

"M....mommy..." A small frightened little voice called out from the hallway

You instantly collapsed on the floor with your back sliding down the kitchen counter in tears resting your head in your hands

*end of flashback*

"Ellie!...come get your breakfast baby!" You called out while spreading the last bit of peanut butter on her toast and placing it on the counter next to her OJ.

" goodmornin mommy!" Ellie sweetly called out before hopping up in her chair slopply chugging down her OJ spilling it down her face

" haha Slow down hunny i dont want you to choke" giving her a little kiss on her forehead sitting down next to her

"Can i see daddy today?" Ellie ask curiously while chomping down on her peanut butter toast giving me goofy faces after each bite.

The doorbell rings and ellie jumps straight out of her chair running up to the door flinging it out impatiently.

"Hey babygirl!" Negan bends down to her level swooping her up in his arms giving her small little kisses all over her cheeks closing the door behind him.

"I miss you daddy" ellie said giggling

You were still sitting at the table swirling the spoon in your bowl of cereal zoning out. Hearing his voice still hurts hell even just looking at him hurts you. You loved him you wanted to marry him a part of you still hasn't forgave him for what he did to you. He ruined this relationship...you were snapped out of your thoughts when negan and ellie came and sat down at the table with you.

"Hi..." He says sitting ellie down in her chair

"Hey...." You say quietly giving him a half smile

"How have you been?" He sits down next to you grabbing an apple from the fruit basket

You wanted to tell him the truth you wanted him to know how bad you actually hurt how you lay awake at night crying and blaming yourself for everything.

"Im okay....haha..." You nervously shift in your chair about to speak but the front door opens your heart begins to race at the fact that its a guy you have been seeing that negan doesnt know about.

"Hi jack!!" Ellie playfully yells out

"Hey kiddo!" Jack walks into the kitchen scruffing up the hair ontop of ellies head before turing to you and negan in a silence

"Hey baby..." Jack lands a kiss on your cheek while not breaking eye contact with negan.

There was a long awkward tension between the two of them untill negan gor up from his chair walking over to ellie.

"Jack??...hi, im negan ellies dad" he says with a god awful smirk on his face he extends out his arm for a handshake

"Hi negan nice to meet you...im (y/n) new boyfriend" he closes the hand shake with his hand before pulling away

" well would you look at that....boyfriend huh?" negan glares in your direction you dont dare stare up at him your face was getting flushed

"Well on that note me and ellie should be heading out, right KiDdO?" Negan said in a mocking voice before swooping ellie up

"Wait i have her bag packed its in her room" you quickly said hopping up from your seat running to the room to grab it. You handed the bag off to negan he slung it over his shoulder with ellie in his other arm standing on the porch.

"Have fun i love you baby"giving ellie a quick kiss on her cheek

"Ill have her back before 8....i promise" negan leaned in and gave you a small kiss on your cheek without breaking eye contact with jack standing behind her.

-------

"I dont think negan likes me ha..." Jack lets out a small laugh

"He does....he is just...protective" you begin cleaning up the kitchen and doing dishes when jack comes up behind you grinding his soon to be hard cock on your ass

"Jack....i have to go get ready for our date" your face beings to flush and you spin around landing a kiss on his lips

"Mmm...you always taste so good...." His hands now on your hips

You grinned at jack before slipping out of his grasp. You snuck off to the bathroom andclosed the door behind you running the water in the bathtub you slipped off your clothes slowly lowering yourself into your hot bathwater. Laying there with your eyes closed your phone buzzed and startled you. Your dripping wet hand reached over and picked it up seeing that it was a text from negan.

From negan:

So you got yourself a young new boy toy..

You opened the message and scoffed at what he had sent you, you tossed your phone back down on your towel before it buzzed again.

From negan:

Dont ignore me....

"Asshole...." You whispered to yourself before slipping out of the tub drying yourself off with your towel. You walk over to your closet pulling out a skin tight black dress with black high heels. Slipping on your black bra and black lacey thong you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror youve always struggled with your body image because your thighs were bigger than most girls and negan always made you feel better about yourself when it came to situations like that. Snapping yourself out of your thoughts you apply the rest of your makeup and head out witb jack to dinner.

"You look sexy..." Jack complimented you kissing on your neck

"Thank you..." Looking up at him through your dark mascara filled lashes and biting at your ruby red lipstick

--------

Jack had dropped you off back at home when you instantly heard negans car pull up in the drive way. 8 o'clock on the dot. This man never plays around. You opened the door to se negans face in awe.

"Je-sus!..hello hot mommy..where have you been" negan walked through the door biting at his lip with ellie asleep in his arms.

"I went on a date....its none of your concern" you said with your hands on your hips your dress hugged your curves in all the right places. Negan went to go lay ellie down when you stepped outside to light a cigarette.

"Smoking again huh..." Negan stepped outside beside you

" i never stopped..." You took a long drag on your cigarette your ruby red lips parting letting the smoke roll out of your mouth

"Why did you ignore me..."

"Im none of your concern anymore...so dont act so fucking generous" you said annoyingly throwing your cigarette on the ground stepping on it with your heel

"Fiesty.....i miss that" negans tongue slipped across his bottom lip

You were about to open the door to walk back inside when negan grabbed you by the waist tightly causing you to moan pushing your body up agaisnt the brick wall on the porch. His hand making his way up to your throat gently applying pressure his lips lightly grazed yours feeling his stubble from his beard on your cheeks. He moved in closing the gap between your bodies you could feel his rock hard cock bulding in his jeans only causing your pussy to be wet even more.

"Negan i cant do this...i have jack" innocently moaning

"what he doesnt know wont hurt him..." He whispered in your ear giving you goosebumps

You snapped out of it realizing what he just said is the same thing he said to the woman that he cheated on you with. You shoved him off of you.

"Negan go!...now!" You pointed at him to leave before slamming the door in his face crying storming off to your bedroom.

(Let me know if you guys want another chapter!❤❤)

[velvetthunder1999]

All the time on Earth

Part 21 - Promises and Christmas Jumpers

Summary: Tension between you and George is rising until a point where you can’t handle it anymore. You just hope he’ll be able to forgive you

Warnings: Angst, Fluff

Word count: 3.3K

George Weasley x Reader

Masterlist

You left the Knight Bus feeling sick, it was likely you were going to throw up on that exact spot. Hermione patiently waited for you to catch your breath, before you two headed towards Grimmauld Place, pulling your trunks behind you in the snow.

“Feeling better?” she asked, her hand reaching for the bell.

“Yeah,” you panted. “Just let’s get inside, I’m freezing.”

Yesterday you woke up to Hermione violently shaking you, telling you what had happened to Mr Weasley and that now he was in St Mungo’s. George and the other Weasley kids had already left the school by then, but you and Hermione had to wait until term ended. You had had your last detention with Umbridge yesterday evening; you’d never seen her so angry like this before. She was fuming, probably because of how Dumbledore took things into his own hands. Either way, you were glad Christmas break had started. You could really use a few weeks without seeing ugly toad-face.

“Hermione!” Mrs Weasley welcomed you inside with a hug. “Y/N! It’s so good to see you!”

“How’s Mr Weasley?” you asked nervously.

“He’s quite all right. He’s resting now, we were just visiting him yesterday… But don’t just stand there, come in, come in! Are you hungry? We’re about to have dinner.”

You got rid off your clothes and followed Mrs Weasley to the kitchen.

“Ron, please tell the boys dinner’s ready,” she sent her son upstairs. A minute later everyone except Harry came down the stairs, taking their seats at the table.

“Hermione, Y/N, finally!” said Fred with a grin and sat down next to you. George followed, saying a low ‘hey’ as he sat down to your other side. Sirius was handing plates out while Mrs Weasley placed a big bowl of soup in the minddle of the table.

“Bread, Y/N?” asked Ginny and you reached for a slice. Mrs Weasley’s sharp eyes shot a concerned look at you.

“Did you injure your hand, Y/N? Would you like me to have a look at it?”

The whole table fell silent. George casted down his eyes and was now heavily concentrating on his soup.

“Er — ” you said, immediately hiding your hand under the table. “No, thanks, it’s okay…”

“It seemed pretty serious,” said Mrs Weasley, now coming towards you. “Are you sure it’s all right, dear?”

“Yes, it’s fine, no need to worry — ”

“Show her, Y/N,” said George in a low voice, eyeing the table. “It’s what you wanted.”

You looked at George, feeling hurt, but you felt even worse when Mrs Weasley took your hand and gasped.

“Y/N! How… What… How is this…” she couldn’t find the words. Her face went pale and she found it quite difficult to breather properly. You turned your head away only to lock eyes with Sirius. He was staring at the words on your hand with a stern face.

‘I musn’t mix with purebloods’.

“Umbridge,” you said in a low voice to him. You couldn’t look at anyone else. “She…”

A chair creaked loudly on the floor next to you as George stood up and left the table without saying another word. His footsteps on the stairs made your heart sink even more.

“I’m… I’m sorry. Excuse me,” stood up and hurried out of the kitchen, too. You had no idea what you wanted to say, but you just knew you couldn’t handle this anymore. George’s silent outbursts, Fred’s suggesting looks, the guilt in your stomach… You just wanted to make things right. You wanted to talk it over. You wanted to be ony speaking terms with your boyfriend again.

You ran up to the first floor, slipping on some nasty liquid as you turned to the next set of stairs. You checked your room first but it was empty… Hurried to the next one, finding no one there either. You almost passed the drawing room, thinking there was no chance he was in there, but a small gleam of red hair made you come to a halt.

You peaked your head in quietly. He was sitting on the very end of the couch, his face buried into his hands. First you thought he was crying; but then you realised that his shoulders were rising  and falling very slowly, almost as if he was breathing while asleep — or as if he was trying to calm himself down.

Your heart broke at the scene; even more as you remembered you had caused him to feel this way. It was not until you took a few very slow steps towards the counch, that you spoke in a low voice:

“Can I sit down?”

He could clearly hear you coming in, cause he did not wince to the sound of your voice. He nodded as an answer, without raising his head from his hands. He looked extremely distressed. You felt horrible and ashamed. You sat down, unable to look away from him. You didn’t know where to start. You wanted forgiveness, but you also wanted him to know how sorry you were.

“Georgie, I… I know I messsed up.”

He didn’t answer. Your throat felt dry.

“And I know you wanted me to stop.”

No answer. Your stomach felt really uncomfortable.

“And I know that I haven’t listened to you.

He still didn’t look at you.

“And I… I understand if you hate me.”

Hearing that, he jerked his head up. His face was stuck in a grimace, in an expression of anger and disbelief.

“I don’t… Y/N, I…” he rubbed his eyes in frustration. “Agh! You know what bugs me? I don’t know what to do! I could never hate you, but I can’t sit around and watch what you’re doing to yourself anymore.”

“I know,” you whispered, and your eyes started to sting. You were staring at your hands in your lap now. You couldn’t look George in the eye anymore. “I know that.”

“And you wouldn’t listen to me. What do you suggest I do? I’ve asked you to stop nicely, I’ve asked you to stop angrily. I’ve done everything in my power to persuade you…” he shook his head in pain. “What else, Y/N? Cause I’ve run out of ideas.”

“I know,” you whimpered. You didn’t want to cry but you couldn’t help it. It was to happen at any second now. “I —”

“Look at your hand,” he said in a shaking voice. You had never seen him so furius. Not with you, anyway. He was fuming. “Look at it and tell me it’s worth it. Look at it and tell me that you like what you see. Look at it and —”

“Stop!” you cried. A small sob sqeezed itself through your lips and you felt tears running down your cheek. “I know! I know you’ve told me, I… I shouldn’t have pushed her, she… she payed me back for it, I…”

“Payed you back, what d’you mean she payed you back?”

You needed a few try before you could answer properly.

“She… s-she… she k-killed Peanut!”

“What?!” his anger was replaced by mere shock. You nodded, still crying.

“I’m… I’m an idiot, George…I am such an idiot, a stupid, stupid prat, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…”

You sobbed into your hand.

“Please, d-don’t hate me. Please, I’m sorry, you were right, just d-dont… I don’t want this anymore, I can’t, I can’t do this — ”

George moved directly next to you on the couch so that your knees were touching. He put one hand on your back. His face was pale and his eyes were full of worry.

“Shh, hey, hey…” after a bit of hesitation he pulled you into his arms and brushed your hair out of your face. “Don’t cry, please, it’s all right now…”

You buried your face into his neck. You saw your tears leaving wet marks on his shirt. He was tenderly soothing your hair. You could barely breath. You couldn’t calm down.

“Please, don’t… d-don’t shout at me, please don’t b-be angry with me, I am so sorry, George…”

“I won’t shout, I promise, I’d never — Y/N, please breathe, okay? — I’m not angry with you, I promise, please just try to calm down — ”

You shook your head. Your voice was muffled by his shirt.

“No, you should be an-angry, I deserve i-it…”

“I’m not following you love, do you want me to be angry or not?”

“I d-don’t want you but you should be, I’m a horrible person!”

“You’re not a horrible person,” he said sharply. “Please, try to breathe, okay?”

“I’m s-sorry… for everything…”

“It’s all right… Please don’t cry, everything’s okay, I promise…”

“Y-you mean it?”

“Of course, I mean it.”

“I w-was horrible t-to you.”

“I know, baby. It’s okay…”

“It’s n-not okay.”

“You said you’re sorry, it’s okay now…”

“You f-forgive me?”

“Of course, love… Come — come here, breathe with me okay?”

He cupped your cheeks and forced you to look into his eyes. He took a deep breath and you followed; when he exhaled you did the same. After six rounds you felt yourself calming down, breathing properly again, tears stopped.

“All right…” said George, wiping your wet face with his fingers. “You scared me there for a bit.”

“I’m really sorry… for how I behaved,” you said again, this time more clearly. “I mean it. I should’ve listened to you… She… She… Peanut…”

You felt your lip tremble again. George squeezed your shoulder firmly.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes… It was him…”

You told him the story of the feather. You managed without crying this time, but George’s face went even paler.

“We have to tell Dumbledore.”

“Come on, there is no evidence…”

“But she told you!”

“She could’ve told me anything, that’s not proof.”

You took George’s hand into your scarred one. The letters were showing in bright red. For the first time in many weeks you realized what the words meant. What a disgusting meaning they bore. And you actually felt disgusted and regretted being so stupid to let things go this far.

“I promise I won’t step out of the line,” you said sadly. “I keep my head down.”

“Okay.”

“But I won’t pretend that we’re just friends,” you said firmly. “I won’t talk back, but I want to walk with you to class, I want to sit with you in the Great Hall… She can’t punish me for that… I wanna be with you… I really miss you, George.”

“I really miss you, too,” his voice cracked. “It’s been so dreadful.”

He closed his eyes rested his forehead on your shoulder. You looked at his face, his beautiful, freckled face and you just didn’t understand how could you have been so stupid before. And how could he… be like this? He… He forgave you, just like that. Even though you knew you will never forgive yourself, he did. He had the nicest soul you’d ever had the chance to know.

And suddenly a strange feeling came over you, almost like unfulfillment… And in that moment you just knew that you’ll never be able to get enough of him. You knew that there won’t be a single day when you won’t be wanting more of him… And you could not help but wonder, how was it possible to love someone as much as you loved George.

“You’re quiet,” he said and leaned back to be able to look into your eyes. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

“I can’t,” you said after a bit of hesitation. “It’s quite complicated.”

“You think I won’t understand?” he said with a half smile, but his eyes looked concerned.

“No, I…” you struggled, now regretting that you’d spoken at all. “Come here — come.”

You thought it was going to be easier to lie down; then you cupped George’s cheek and pulled him gently over your chest so that he’ll be on top of you, resting his head on your breast.

“You hear it?” you asked.

“Your heart? Of course, I hear it,” he said uncertainly.

“Good. It’s yours.”

He jerked his head up. You brushed his cheek with your thumb, a shy smile on your lips.

“Sappy?”

He chuckled.

“Yeah. But it’s all right if you mean it.”

“I mean it. I really mean it. I… I can’t find the words to tell you how much I love you. I just hope you feel it.”

“You’re making me so soft,” he said, shaking his head. Then he climbed closer so that his face would be in front of yours. Then he nodded seriously. “I do feel it. Please, believe me. And believe me when I say the same. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”

He pressed a soft kis onto your cheek, then your mouth, then he lowered himself carefully to lie on top of you again on the narrow couch.

Snow was falling heavily now, and the strong wind outside was making sure to rattle the old windows of the house. You thought about Hogwarts, then Umbridge, then Mr Weasley who was still lying in a hospital bed somewhere in London. Then you thought about Harry and the Third Task, then the dementors that had attacked him during the summer. And as you buried your fingers into George’s hair, caressing it gently, you couldn’t help but think about your love and that how long will it last before evil interferes.

——

On the day of Christmas you woke up with a start, squinting at once at the bright sunlight that was filling in the room. You blinked for a few times, then you realized what had caused you to jerk awake so suddenly — George was leaning close, barely an inch away from your face.

“What the hell?” you exclaimed.

“Merry Christmas!” he started pushing you to scoot over and sat down to your bed. “I’ve got your present!”

“Oh, no, but I haven’t got you anything,” you teased.

“Witty,” he rolled his eyes and put a box in your hand. “Just open it.”

You sat down and brushed your hair out of your sleepy face, then looked at the package curiously. George was watching excitedly as you lifted the top of the tiny box, pulling out a thin chain that seemed to belong to a neat little necklace. It had a tiny golden locket on it, which if opened, showed a picture of the two of you. The photograph was taken in the Room of Requirement after a DA meeting. The picture-George was laughing at something while picture-you was shaking her head with a smile.

“Oh, I love it,” you said softly, your heart melting. “Thank you, George.”

“Can I…?”

You gave him the necklace and he put it around your neck, pressing a small kiss on your cheek after. You bemaed at him, then reached into your trunk to look for his package. From the  huge mess of clothes and books you pulled out a green little box.

“Here. Merry Christmas.”

He opened his gift with great anticipation. When he lifted the top of the box, his eyes went wide.

“What is this?”

“It’s called a dreamcatcher,” you said. “You should hang it above your bed. Muggles think it’s good against bad dreams and everything. But I made this one on my own… It took a while, actually.”

“Did you really?”

“Yeah. There’s something else to it, too. Smell it.”

He raised the dreamcatcher to his nose.

“It smells like vanilla.”

You smiled.

“Well… I put some Amortentia on it, charmed it so it would never fade away. I wanted to give you something that’d remind you of me even if I’m not there.”

“Witty… it’s beautiful.”

“You really like it?” you asked shyly.

“Yes, it’s brilliant, really,” he looked at the dreamcatcher again. His eyes went misty. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” you kissed him on the cheek. “Breakfast?”

“You want to be careful,” said Fred, stepping through the door. “Mum’s been crying all morning.”

“What?” you asked, nervously remembering Mr Weasley. “What happened?”

“Oh, yeah, I didn’t tell you — Percy sent back the Christmas jumper,” said George in a low voice. Git.

“Ungrateful little weasel,” added Fred.

You waited ten minutes before you went down to have breakfast, and even then turned away politely as Mrs Weasley occasionally sniffled and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. You helped her do the dishes as a lame way to make her feel better, but then you and the twins joined Harry, Ron and Hermione to play Wizard’s Chess and Exploding Snap all day. In the meantime Mrs Weasley left with some people from the Order to get Mr Weasley and bring him home. You had not recieved your presents yet as she wanted to wait for him and celebrate together.

“Daddy’s back,” she said with a wide grin once you all surrounded the kitchen table, ready to have lunch. Everyone applauded Mr Weasley who seemed a bit tormented but happy to be home at last. Mrs Weasley took one of the many packages and handed it to her son. “Big box for Ron!”

Ron took his present with a reluctant smile, but you were watching George and Fred receiving identical scarves and wrapping them around their neck. George caught your eye as you were smiling to yourself and winked.

“Y/N, dear,” said Mrs Weasley, handing you a package. “Hope you’ll like it.”

You were uncertainly staring at the package in your hand, not sure what to say. You looked back at Mrs Weasley, taken aback.

“Is this for me?”

“Of course, dear! Merry Christmas!

“I didn’t think I’d get —”

“Don’t be stupid, Y/N, it’s yours!” scolded Fred, grinning.

“Fred!” said Mrs Weasley, annoyed.

“Open it, Y/N,” said George keenly.

You looked around; all the Weasleys were watching you with anticipation. You took the package again and carefully loosened the thin string around it. The paper fell off, and your eyes fell on a red fabric. You realised with great shock that it was a knitted jumper.

“I… Oh, my God,” you said, your throat dry, as you touched the soft fabric. You didn’t know what to say.

“There’s a little something there as well,” said Mrs Weasley, beaming. You folded out the jumper and found a soft, maroon knitted hat inside it.

You looked at George who was now grinning madly.

“I told you I’ll get one for you, didn’t I?”

“Is it the right color, dear?” asked Mrs Weasley anxiously. “I wasn’t sure if you — ”

You stood up from the table and pulled her into a tight hug.

“Thank you so much, Mrs Weasley.”

Her face was flushed by the sudden surprise. She patted your head gently.

“You’re welcome, dear. Do you like it?”

You were speechless. You remembered clear as day to the Hogsmeade trip when George and you, just as friends, spent a day together in the small village. He told you about his mum making jumpers and hats for Christmas. You had felt a bit jealous and sad at that time. You had felt bad, for he had had the perfect family and you didn’t. And you felt sad, thinking how nice would it be to be a part of a family like his. You had never told him this… But apparently you needn’t have done. He had known it. He had known it very well.

“I love it, Mrs Weasley,” you said, still a bit emotional as you pulled your first ever Christmas hat on your head. You sent a loving smile towards George who just didn’t seem to take his eyes off you. You beamed and in that moment you felt that you are truly a part of his wonderful family.