#three guesses what i’m rewatching right now…

[loveinhereyes-flowersinherhair]

i’ve decided that when i die i just need someone to play dazed and confused live at msg 1973 on a loop on a massive screen at my funeral PLEASE.

it really is THAT good.

especially that godly “san francisco”section

no words can sufficiently describe how much this specific performance means to me like actually i’m going insane, sliding down the wall, ripping my hair out and crying!!!

anyways!

[mind-empty-just-fictional-people]

So I was just rewatching Bones, and towards the end Brennan (heavily pregnant at the time) called her baby's father and was like "hey this is embarrassing but uhhhhhh I'm trapped on the floor and I can't get up. You're here, in the same building, right? Please help..." (...well, we never got to hear what she said, but that's what happened, so 😂)

I bring this up because I just had a funny thought:

That scenario, but Frank Langdon x Heavily Pregnant!Reader

(Like...he's mid-shift, his back may or may not be twinging and he desperately needs a lunch break, when ring ring "hey honey this is so embarrassing but uh. I'm stuck on the floor--nonono I'm fine, our baby's fine, I just can't find the leverage to get up. I'm so sorry but uh, please...help???")

(Poor man's probably out the door before Reader can even finish, forgetting to notify anyone bc his wife and baby are in danger he needs to help-- (not really, Reader literally just needs a hand lmao). Robby's only a little annoyed (but amused. mostly amused tbh) when Frank shows back up with wifey in tow, demanding a full workup to make sure she and baby are okay.)

I’ve Fallen (For You)

main masterlist | the pitt masterlist

summary: you call your husband, stuck in quite a predicament 

pairing: dr. frank langdon x female heavily pregnant!wife!reader

rating: PG-13 

word count: 1.0k

warnings: reader is heavily pregnant (obv), nothing else i think

timeline: set before the show

author’s note: thank you for the request anon, i had so much fun writing this!

Langdon’s shift was nearly halfway through and he was counting the seconds till he could rush home. Rush home to you, the love of his life—his very pregnant wife.

His back had been screaming at him all day but he’d been ignoring it. He knew he should’ve paid for some damn movers, but he had opted to help his parents all on his own. He would’ve asked for your help, but you had just found out you were pregnant and he didn’t want to put that on your shoulders. Now several months later, his back was killing him.

Nothing he couldn’t handle, though.

“Robby, I’m taking a quick lunch break,” Langdon informed his boss before grabbing a sandwich from the cart. He just needed to sit down for two minutes and he’d be back to his chipper self. 

“Alright, three minutes max, Dr. Langdon,” Robby said.

“Understood,” Frank replied.

Just as he sat down his phone buzzed in his pocket.

“Hey honey,” he answered the call. “Work’s been a bitch today, excited to curl up in bed and watch crap TV.”

“First off, how dare you call my favorite show ‘crap TV’ second… I need your help.”

“What? Why? What’s wrong?” Langdon asked quickly, kind of beginning to panic.

“I’ve sorta… fallen… and can’t get up…?”

“You’ve… huh?”

“This is so embarrassing,” you mumbled, more to yourself than to your husband. “I’m stuck on the floor.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine, the baby’s fine. I just can’t seem to find the leverage to get up.” You sighed. “I’m so sorry Frank but please could you… help?”

“I’ll be there in ten,” he said. “Love you, bye.”

“Love you more, bye.”

**

When Langdon got home, he found you lying on the hardwood floor of your living room. He reached out his hand and helped you up quickly.

“How’d this happen?” he asked as he pulled you into an awkward hug, your overstretched belly pressed against his abdomen.

“I guess you could say I fell for you,” you replied, wanting to break the tension so he didn’t worry about you.

“You’re hilarious,” he said flatly. He soon broke away from the hug so he could get a good look at you. “Any dizziness? Nausea? Blurred vision?”

“No? Well nausea yes, duh, but that’s what the Zofran is for.”

“Follow my finger,” he said and held his pointer finger up for you to follow as he moved it from left to right and back again. “You probably don’t have a concussion,” he stated.

“I know I don’t have a concussion,” you laughed it off. “I didn’t hit my head, Frank, I just slipped and couldn’t get back up.”

“Still, we should head to The Pitt and have Dr. Collins look at you, just to be safe.”

“I don’t need an ultrasound, hun, I’m fine.”

“Nope, you’re coming to the hospital with me, c’mon.”

“Let’s take separate cars though, I don’t wanna be stuck in ‘The Pitt’ while you save lives for hours,” you said, using air quotes to be more dramatic.

“One of us can Uber home,” he protested. “C’mon, let’s go.”

**

When you got to the hospital, Langdon guided you through the traffic of people to get you to Heather.

He called out her name when he saw her.

“Mrs. Langdon! How lovely to see you. How are you?” Dr. Collins exclaimed. 

“I’m doing pretty good, though this pregnancy is kicking my ass.” You smiled and gave her a quick, small hug.

Langdon hurriedly explained what happened to you as Dr. Robby walked up.

“Mrs. Langdon! To what do we owe the pleasure?” he asked, a huge smile plastered on his face. “Don’t tell me you’re here to drag Frank home early?”

“No, Robby, nothing like that,” you chuckled. “Frank insisted I come over–”

“She slipped on the hardwood floor and couldn’t stand back up, she had to call me to go and help her up,” Frank exclaimed.

“He is making it sound much worse than it was,” you said. “I’m fine, really.”

“Well an ultrasound wouldn’t hurt,” Robby said, assuming it was what Frank wanted. 

“See? Told you so!” Frank nudged your arm playfully.

“Really? You’re going with ‘I told you so’?” you laughed.

“Collins, please?” Robby gestured for her to get going with the ultrasound as quickly as possible.

“Of course, right this way,” Heather replied.

Frank walked behind you as you followed Dr. Collins to a space where you could do a quick ultrasound. 

You sat down on the chair and Heather started the ultrasound.

“Your baby looks good,” she said. 

“You’re sure?” Frank asked.

“Yep, healthy baby boy,” Collins replied.

“See? Told you so,” you said smugly, making your husband laugh and shake his head.

“Can I see your flashlight?” he asked Dr. Collins and she handed him the small device. “Look at my nose,” he said.

“Can I look at those gorgeous blue eyes instead?” you asked, wiggling your brows up and down. 

He couldn’t help the sheepish laugh as a slight blush began to warm his cheeks. It didn’t matter how long you two had been together, you still made his heart skip a beat when you said things like that.

He continued with the quick exam to be sure you didn’t have a concussion.

“Babe, you’re treating me like one of your patients,” you chuckled, brushing away his hands.

“Fine, I’ll let Dr. Collins give you the full once over just to be safe. Heather, you alright with that?”

“I really must restate there’s zero need for all of this, honey,” you said.

“I’d be happy to,” Heather said. 

“Thanks,” Langdon said. “I’m gonna get back to work, call me when you’re all done. Love you.”

“Love you too,” you grumbled before he kissed you goodbye.

**

“She’s perfectly fine. Slight bruising around her tailbone, but nothing that won’t heal on its own,” Dr Collins told Langdon about ten minutes later when she was finished with the brief exam.

“Thank you–” Frank was cut off by his phone buzzing in his pocket. He answered it quickly, seeing it was from you.

“Frank,” you started, “my water just broke.”

[reidmarieprentiss]

Unauthorized Documentary 0.5

Summary: Matthew Gray Gubler is filming his untitled documentary, you hate it (not really).

Pairing: Matthew Gray Gubler x fem!reader

Category: fluff

Warnings/Includes: fake arguing, fake fighting, mean reader (it's fake)

Word count: 1.6k

a/n: i am rewatching the documentaries right now and i need this man so bad

main masterlist 1.0

“I am not Matthew’s girlfriend,” you sighed heavily, rolling your eyes in exasperation. “I have no idea why he keeps telling people that.”

The camera panned slightly, focusing on your expression as the cameraman shrugged nonchalantly. His lack of input only seemed to fuel your irritation.

Turning sharply to face the lens, you stared directly into it with a deadly serious expression. With an intense tone, you declared, “Let me make this absolutely clear for anyone dumb enough to be watching anything about Matthew Garbler — I have never, and will never, date that pathetic freak.”

The silence that followed hung in the air, your words ringing with unapologetic finality.

The camera pulled back slightly, catching more of the chaotic surroundings: a cluttered dressing room filled with mismatched furniture, half-empty coffee cups, and a life-size cardboard cutout of Matthew Gray Gubler in a pirate hat.

From behind the camera, a voice asked, dripping with sarcasm, “So you’re saying there’s no chance for a romantic subplot?”

You groaned, pinching the bridge of your nose. “Romantic subplot? This isn’t some trashy rom-com. This is real life! And in real life, I wouldn’t date Matthew if he was the last human being on this planet. I’d rather marry the cardboard cutout.” You gestured dramatically at the pirate Matthew, who seemed to smirk mockingly at you.

The cameraman snorted. “Right. But you’re still his assistant?”

“I’m his manager,” you snapped, your eyes narrowing. “And don’t you dare forget it. I keep that lunatic’s life from imploding every single day. And what do I get in return? A stupid title on this dumb documentary and people thinking I’m his girlfriend? Unbelievable.”

—

Later, the camera turns on Matthew, his brow furrowed and his expression caught somewhere between confusion and mild panic. “She said what?” he asked, his voice tinged with disbelief.

From behind the camera, a voice awkwardly clarified, “Uh, she said she’s not your girlfriend.”

Matthew’s eyes widened for a moment before narrowing slightly. He made a quick hand motion, his tone turning sharp. “Show me the footage.”

The screen jumps back to Matthew as he watches the clip. He forces an uncomfortable laugh, scratching the back of his neck. “She’s so funny,” he says, his voice cracking slightly. “That’s just how Y/N is… she likes to joke around like that.”

The camera slowly pans away, catching you in the background, deep in conversation with one of the producers. Your body language is animated, your irritation still evident as you gestured emphatically.

“Fuck,” Matthew mutters under his breath, the nervousness in his voice escalating. He whirls around, shouting over his shoulder, “Cut that, cut all that!”

Before anyone can respond, he bolts from the set, his hurried footsteps fading as the shot lingers awkwardly on the empty doorway he’s just fled through.

—

While you were giving another uncomfortable interview for the cameraman, the door burst open, and Matthew himself waltzed in, juggling three cups of coffee. “Guess what, everyone! I’ve decided to legally change my name to ‘Gublé,’ like the singer, but with pizzazz. Thoughts? Be honest but supportive.”

You turned to the camera, your mouth slightly agape as if asking the audience for strength. “This is my life.”

“Wait,” Matthew cut in, setting the coffee cups precariously on a stack of scripts. “Did you tell them about us?” His eyes sparkled mischievously.

You rolled your eyes so hard it was a miracle they didn’t fall out of your head. “For the hundredth time, there is no ‘us.’ There never was and never will be!”

“Ah, denial,” Matthew said wistfully, draping himself across the nearest chair like a Victorian maiden. “It’s the first stage of acceptance, you know.”

The cameraman’s voice chimed in again, amused. “That’s grief.”

“Well, I’m grieving her lack of enthusiasm for our undeniable chemistry!” Matthew quipped, pointing dramatically at you before turning to the camera. “Did you catch that? That’s good TV, folks. Make sure you zoom in on her frustration—it’s practically Shakespearean.”

You threw up your hands in defeat. “I’m quitting,” you declared, marching toward the door. “I’m leaving, and I’m never coming back.”

“Wait!” Matthew leaped up, his tin foil cape trailing behind him. “Before you go, do you want one of these coffees? I got your favorite!”

You stopped, turning slowly. “No.”

—

You stormed into Matthew’s trailer, not bothering to knock. He was sitting on the edge of a couch, exaggeratedly flipping through a script as he was recorded, but the moment he saw your expression, his face fell.

“Stop,” you said sharply, pointing a finger at him. “Stop telling people I’m your girlfriend. It’s weird as fuck, Matthew.”

He blinked, momentarily stunned, before awkwardly laughing and setting the script aside. “Oh, come on, Y/N. It’s just for the bit—it makes the show more, you know, engaging.”

You crossed your arms, glaring at him. “Engaging for who? Because I don’t think the fake audience gives a shit about your fake relationship narrative. And I’m certainly not here for it.”

Matthew shifted uncomfortably, avoiding your gaze. “I mean, technically, it’s not really fake—”

Your jaw dropped. “Excuse me?”

“Well,” he stammered, rubbing the back of his neck, “we’ve spent a lot of time together. People see that and, you know, assume things. I just… lean into it.”

“You lean into it?” you repeated incredulously. “Matthew, no one is assuming anything. You’re making it up and then selling it like a damn tabloid story!”

He held up his hands defensively. “Okay, okay, you’re right. I’ll stop. I swear. I’ll—” He paused, his eyes darting to the camera peeking through the crack in the door. “Is this… are we filming right now?”

You turned your head sharply to catch the lens disappearing behind the door frame. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

Matthew grimaced. “It’s for the show?”

You groaned, dragging a hand down your face. “Matthew. Fix it. Now.”

“I will!” he promised, scrambling to his feet. “I’ll tell them it was all a misunderstanding. Like, tomorrow. Maybe.”

“Today,” you snapped, pointing at him one last time before turning on your heel to leave. “Or I’m moving to another continent, got it?”

Matthew sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Okay, okay. I’ll stop. I promise. No more telling people we’re together.”

You stared at him for a long moment, your arms still crossed. “You’d better,” you said firmly. “Because if I hear one more person ask me what our anniversary is or how you proposed, I’m going to lose it.”

“Got it,” he said quickly, nodding like a chastised child. “No more fake girlfriend stories. Swear on my vintage ghost-hunting equipment.”

“Good,” you said, heading for the door. But just as you reached for the handle, you turned back one last time. “And for the record? If you ever pull this stunt again, I’ll leak the footage of you crying at craft services over them being out of grape soda.”

Matthew gasped, clutching his chest in mock horror. “You wouldn’t.”

“Try me,” you deadpanned before slamming the door behind you.

Inside the trailer, Matthew let out a long, defeated sigh before muttering under his breath, “She totally loves me.”

—

After the cameras had been packed up for the day and the set was finally quiet, you made your way to Matthew’s trailer. The door was slightly ajar, and you knocked softly before stepping inside. He was mid-way through changing out of his Spencer Reid clothes, tugging off the familiar cardigan with his back turned to you.

“Hey,” you greeted, a playful grin tugging at your lips.

Matthew spun around quickly, his face lighting up with a matching smile the moment he saw you. “Hi, love,” he said warmly, walking over to you without hesitation. His hands found your waist as he pulled you closer. His expression softened as he asked, “Are we okay?” There was a hint of hesitation in his voice, like he was bracing for a blow.

You tilted your head, confusion flickering across your face. “Of course, baby,” you replied, your hand instinctively reaching up to cup his cheek. Your thumb brushed against the slight stubble there as you searched his eyes. “Why wouldn’t we be?”

Matthew let out an awkward laugh, his grip tightening slightly as if to ground himself. “You were just... really convincing today,” he admitted, his words tumbling out with a sheepish smile.

“Oh, that?” you chuckled softly, rolling your eyes. “Matthew, you know I have to sell it, or the bit doesn’t land. That’s the whole point, right? It’s supposed to be funny.”

“Yeah,” he agreed, though the nervous edge in his laugh hadn’t quite disappeared. “But for a second there, I thought you actually hated me.”

Your expression softened at his words, and you leaned in to press a quick kiss to his lips. “I could never hate you,” you murmured against his mouth. “You’re ridiculous, sure. Annoying sometimes? Definitely. But I love you, even when you make up insane fake-girlfriend narratives.”

A relieved grin spread across his face as he leaned his forehead against yours. “Good,” he said softly. “Because I really don’t want to get in trouble with my real girlfriend.”

You laughed, your fingers threading through his hair. “Well, you’re not off the hook just yet,” you teased, a mischievous glint in your eye. “You owe me dinner for all the grief you caused today.”

“Done,” Matthew replied instantly, his smile turning playful. “But only if you promise not to leak that grape soda footage. My reputation depends on it.”

“Depends on how good the dinner is,” you shot back with a smirk.

“Challenge accepted,” he said, his lips capturing yours again in a kiss that promised he’d make it up to you.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

tag list <333 @yokaimoon @khxna @noelliece @dreamsarebig @sleepey-looney @cocobean16 @placidus @criminalmindssworld @lilu842 @greatoperawombategg @charismatic-writer @fxoxo @hearts4spensco @furrybouquettrash @kathrynlakestone @chaneladdicted @time-himself @mentallyunwellsposts @sapph1re @idefktbh17 @gilwm @reggieswriter @loumouse @spencerreidsreads @i-live-in-spite @fanfic-viewer @bootylovers44 @atheniandrinkscoffee @niktwazny303 @dead-universe @hbwrelic @kniselle @cynbx @danielle143 @katemusic @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx @laurakirsten0502 @geepinky @mxlviaa @libraprincessfairy @fortheloveofgubler @super-nerd22 @k-illdarlings @softestqueeen @eliscannotdance @pleasantwitchgarden @alexxavicry @ill-be-okay-soon-enough @criminal-spence @navs-bhat @taygrls @person-005 @asobeeee

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - I guess Korea is supporting us now?

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

April 2025 Week 3

Ongoing Series - Thai

Top Form (Thurs WeTV) ep 5 of 10 - I know (but also I keep forgetting until the credits roll) that this show is based on a yaoi. The Japanese feel of all of the characters and their interactions that keeps hitting me broadside. For example the whole smoking sequence in this episode. Then I’m reminded that this is Japanese IP at the end, and then I retroactively forgive it startling behavior in each episode. I think I would enjoy this more if I reminded myself as it starts that this is Japanese sensibilities Thai style. This is an authentic adaptation, more so than anything GMMTV has ever given us. (Much as I loved Cherry Magic it was a very VERY GMMTV Thai BL take.)

Sweet Tooth Good Dentist (Fri iQIYI) ep 4 of 12 - It was fine. They are cute enough. But I’m over the moon that Jimmy comes in next episode. That’s all I really care about right now. Honestly I wish I liked this show more, I want to like it. It should be me cup of tea teeth.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Heesu in Class 2 (Korea Fri Viki) eps 7-8 of 10 - I am so glad and relieved that Heesu’s bestie crush has finally ended. Thank you. Could we please get on with the BL portion of this narrative now? Honestly, I adore Heesu because he is both honest and earnest (I think that's why the people around him do too). What an utterly charming main character to get to spend time with. I cant wait until next week. I honesly don't mind that the crush swung so swiftly and easily because frankly, that's high school for you, and also we get VO of Heesu's thoughts, so we are kind with him... at least I am.

PS On a complete aside. I cant believe how long this BL is... from Korea! 

PPS I have to confess that I too love carrot juice.

Business as Usual (Korea Thurs Viki) Ep 3 of 7 - ep 3 and we got a confrontation already! And a reverse pov? Excellent. i’m not wild about the reason for the split being miscommunication and fear and running away, I feel like it would be nice we got something different from Korea this time. But I’m still enjoying the show = good kisses, heart-beak et al.

Secret Relationships (Korea iQIYI) ep 8 end - very exciting final episode. Quite thrilling, actually. If you're into, ya know, soap operas and melodrama. Which I absolutely am. As is customary with these kinds of BLs, I spent a good portion of it saying "this boy needs a therapist not a boyfriend!" But they did make a cute couple, with good kisses, even with the ubiquitous year gap at the end.

Summary 

An entirely unhinged story about a very troubled office worker and the three men who are passionately in love with him. Two of whom are very warped and unhinged about it. This is an unadulterated melodrama, and extreme in always including domestic violence, kidnapping for love, and some light stabbing. As ya do. It’s a wild ride, but enjoyable. The visuals are excellent, the acting is fun if chewy, and the chemistry is good all round. However this kind of BL has a low rewatch potential and too much violence for me personally. 8/10

Something Is Not Right (Korea Weds Viki) ep 1 of 8 - Interesting start. Unusual and I kind of like it. They are so cute and so in love and so teen crush. Tsundere is VERY tsundere. It's a very manwha piece, much more so than Blueming ever felt. I'm not in love with it, but I'm not upset with it either.

Fight for You (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 5 of 12 - Aw he has such sad eyes. The conceits of this show are increasingly ridiculous and yet I’m enjoying it immensely. Especially when they’re kissing. Thank you Taiwan. Also, how could he not fall in love with the sunshine, when the sunshine is essentially being the perfect boyfriend? That said, I never high rank a show where one of them is lying to the other one essentially the whole time - so that is tempering my enjoyment. But I am still enjoying it despite that one big worry. 

Exclusive Love (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 11 of 12 - pocky game with your quasi-ex-bestie when he's getting married the next day? That’s a wild idea honeychild. I do like that we got a lot of the sides this time around. And kidnapping and some self sacrifice stabbing. The usual.

It's airing but......

Sashes and Hearts (Pinoy YT) 13 eps - Philippines is doing Drop Dead Gorgeous only all gay boys queening their asses off. Doesn't interest me, not sure if it's BL.

Last Meal Universe (Thai ????) 8 eps - An alien who has come to destroy earth instead falls in love with Thai food and then the Thai boy who cooks it - realistic, actually. I got a link to watch but it still wouldn't work for me, so I guess I'm waiting to see what happens.

Lost in the Woods (Weds Gaga) 7 eps - Not my thing, dropped at ep 2.

Secret Ghost (Thai Sat Viu) ?? eps - The trailer dropped and it looks so bad.

My Golden Blood (Weds iQIYI) 12 eps - dropped at ep 5. I just can't. It's too awful. I did try. 

Next Week Looks Like This:

COMING IN APRIL

4/20 Boys in Love (Thai Sun iQIYI ) 12 eps - Our only true high school BL from GMMTV this year and it's fresh faces for the youths and old favs for the teachers. It's milk teeth Make it Right and fine with me! I like lotte milk. Also DIMPLES! Yay! I suspect they are using this one to test some fresh pairs for future seasons. Like a Project 101 Thai BL. (Honestly I just invented an amazing reality TV for you GMMTV, you're welcome.) Like My School President in 2023, this could be a major sleeper hit for me.

4/20 My Stubborn (Thai Sun iQIYI) 10 eps - trailer Mflow's next high heat office romance involving best friend's younger brother, boss meets intern, bit of a love triangle, GL crumbs, and few other tropes.

4/25 My Sweetheart Jom (Thai Fri YouTube) 12 eps - trailer Saint is back in a BL, but this is what he chose? When he gets int rouble, Yothin needs to find a safe place. Instead of sending him overseas, his father sends him to the countryside. There, he is under the watchful eye of the village headman Jomkhwan.

4/26 The BangkokBoy AKA Bangkok Boys AKA The Bangkok Boy (Thai Sat ????) ?? eps trailer - Action, crime and revenge meets gangs, mafia, and more. Oh my.

2025 Line Up

BL Announced for 2025 - PART 1

BL Announced for 2025 - PART 2

20 BLs Announced for 2025 That I'm Really Excited About

GMMTV 2025 Line Up - My Totally Biased and Wildly Flawed Feels

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENT

Not a great week actually, no pulls.

(last week)

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

[daredevils-stuffed]

A Girl Can Dream

Authors Note: Guess I’m back… totally not because I’ve been rewatching daredevil like it’s a comfort show.

Characters: Matt Murdock x Reader

Overview: You meet Matt in a club, and discover when it’s too late that he’s your brother’s best friend. Foggy would not approve. But can Matt resist temptation.

Warnings: no warnings as of now. Maybe a few in the future.

Also available to read on ao3

https://archiveofourown.org/works/63147244/chapters/161719609

Part 1

College was the chance for you to try new things, experience all that life had to offer. Going out to clubs was relatively new to you, but you accepted every invite that was offered because being at Columbia meant more than just studying. So, it’s Friday night, and you want to let your hair down after a long and stressful week. You and your friends have been chasing to find the right vibes from bar to bar. The place you’re currently in has loud upbeat music, the type you can’t resist dancing too. 

 

You stand off on the sidelines of the dance floor cradling your drink, taking a breather. Your friends love being the centre of attention and are dance battling each other. You laugh aloud as they spin themselves around to create more room. 

 

“They seem to be having fun, why aren’t you out there with them.” You peer up to see a handsome man with thick, choppy hair, and tinted glasses perched on his nose. It takes you a minute to realise he is talking to you, sipping at your drink you glance back at them. 

 

“I’m not really one to draw attention to myself. Plus, I haven’t got anyone to dance with”. You chuckle, and he snorts. The alcohol is making you tingly and brave, so you take a good look at the man next to you. His clothes  aren’t too fancy, just casual jeans and a shirt that fitted perfectly around sculpted arms. He’s leaning his elbow on a white stick and that’s when it clicks. He’s blind. 

 

“I couldn’t agree more. But I would like to dance at least once tonight with someone.” He fiddles with the bottle in his hand, not really looking in your direction. 

 

You can tell he is either nervous or uncomfortable, his cheeks are flushed red under the strobe lights. Placing a hand on his shoulder, you lean into his ear. Lips lightly brushing it as you speak. “Well, I definitely would like your company”. You had already been to three bars previously, so your tipsy state gives you the confidence to gently grab his hand and guide him towards the centre of the dance floor. 

 

Standing there taking in his features you realise that he is quite good looking. A soft smile encapsulates his face as you take his hand and place it on your waist, slowly swaying in time with the music. Your arms finding a way around his neck, your bodies in sync. You’re pulled closer to him, close enough to smell his heavenly cologne. 

 

His hands start to travel around your body, down towards your ass. He plays with the hem of your dress, and you let him, knowing he can’t tell what you’re wearing. You knew it was kinda short when you put it on, but now you’re glad you did as his fingertips slowly trail over your thigh causing goosebumps to rise and shivers to go through you. You’re sure that your breathing has deepened and your eyes close as you try to focus on the feeling, hands playing with the hair at his nape. 

 

You’ve moved closer again now. At some point your spun around so your back is against him. Too lost in the music and the feeling of him against you to care what was going on around you. You can feel him hard against your ass, and you grind down a little to get a better feel. You are just as turned on, letting out a little hum of approval. His hands spread over your stomach, enclosing you into him. His lips finding that perfect place on your neck and all air is sucked out of you. This is perfect, this moment feels cosmic, something that could go on forever. 

 

But it doesn’t. 

 

Your friends interrupt you to say that they were leaving for the next bar. You look up at your dance partner as he drops his hands from your hips, taking a step back. “No wait.” You hurriedly shout, grabbing his wrist. You spin around to look back at your friends. “Sorry guys, I think I’m going to stay here. I’m enjoying myself.” A little smirk on your face tells your friends all that they need to know. They grin back at you and eye up the man behind you. His jaw ticks with amusement but he says nothing. You hug them goodbye and promise to text when you’re home safe, but you know that you can’t promise that would be tonight. 

 

You grin up at your company for the evening. “Shall we go get another drink before we carry on.” You grab his hand and lead the way to the bar and order yourself and him a drink. He stays close to you, playing once again with the hem of your dress, drawing shapes into your inner thigh. You lean into him after taking a sip of your new drink. “We should go back to yours after this,” you whisper, looking up at him through your eyelashes. 

 

“Mmm. We definitely should. I have some ideas as to what we can get up to sweetheart.” His hand goes further in between your thighs, you clamp his hand before he can get any deeper and see how wet you are. Your eyes look up in shock and he just chuckles. “I just need to wait for my friend to arrive so I can tell him I’m leaving with you. I might also want him to see you, just so he knows you are real”. You shake your head and lean your forehead against his shoulder. 

 

“Sweetheart? Hmm okay.” He nudges your hair with his nose, taking in your coconut scent shampoo. His teeth nip at your neck, encouraging your breaths to come out as sighs. “I should probably know your name if I’m going to be coming home with you”

 

“I’m Matt.” He says and you look up at him in shock. Pushing away from him, his fingers dig into your hips, eyebrows knitted together out of confusion

 

“Oh my god, you’re that Matt” you breathe just as you hear Foggy’s voice. 

 

“Hey! I see you two have met. Saves me introducing you both.” You groan internally turning to face him. In a college campus this large, the one hot boy that is attracted to you happens to be your brother’s best friend. Matts hands instantly drop from you, any remnants of his touch completely vanishing. 

 

“Foggy.” You and Matt say, his with a little more surprise and a lot less anger than yours. he leans in to kiss you on the cheek and taps Matt on the back before ordering himself a beer. He starts talking about his day, and how he wasn’t even sure if he was going to make it tonight. You note that Matts lips turn down, and you think of your lost future where you could be experiencing Matts body in all its glory, feeling his touch in all the right places. 

 

“Just so we are clear Matt, no you cannot touch my sister’s face okay. She is off limits.” Matt clears his throat and sits up straighter. You could almost stroke the awkwardness between you now, the sexual tension still ripe and all that more unbearable. 

 

“He’s being doing a little more than that” you murmur as you turn to grab your drink, hating yourself for ditching your friends for Foggy’s best friend. Why did it you use your logic, why didn’t you see that the blind man in your college campus bar might be the same person who also lives in your brother’s dormitory. 

 

Matt coughs and pinches your side. Your eyes land on his face in shock, but his is neutral. There is no way he heard you say that. “Come on man, you know I wouldn’t do that to your sister. We were just talking about what me and you are getting up to tonight.”

 

“You are more than welcome to join us sis!” Foggy says. Disappointment etches your features, as well as Matts. You feel as if a massive bucket of icy water has just been tipped all over you. Yet the burning heat between your legs is still there. 

 

“You know what, I think I will.” You did not really have much of a choice. Realising if you leave them now, your night will have to end there. 

 

“Great, that way I can keep an eye on you.” Foggy nudges you to get between you and Matt. It was then you realised that nothing could ever happen between you and Matt. Even if you wanted his hands and lips all over you, there was no way Matt would break Foggy’s trust. 

 

“Yeah” Matt agreed. “We don’t want you going off with any strange men, you don’t know who could be out there.” You glare at him and polish off your drink. It’s going to be a long night for you. 

 

“Shots?” Because that is the only thing that is going to get you through this, and you really don’t want this night to be memorable. 

 

The night goes on. You’ve really passed the point of tipsy. You’ve had no further interaction with Matt, but you’ve also had no other interaction with men in general. They seem to stay away from you when there are two men leering behind you as you dance. 

 

“Hey Matt! Did I ever tell you about the time I found my sister in a pile of oranges” Foggy shouts over the music. You’ve been dancing for the best part of an hour, your back turned so you don’t have to keep up with any of the conversations. You’ve heard Foggy tell this story over and over. You lived it, you were there. Sticky and uncomfortable and 5 years old. Matt glances over at you and chuckles as Foggy continues the story. You cringe slightly, cheeks flushing as you try to drown of the embarrassment. “And that’s how she got the nickname Clementine”

 

“Clementine? Really?” Matt smirks. Foggy, completely forgetting he was in the middle of a conversation, becomes distracted trying to hit on the girl next to him. Matt, using your shoulder to steady himself, takes this opportunity to press his lips to your ear. “I think I prefer sweetheart myself.”  You roll your eyes, elbowing Matt in the stomach. “I think you like it when I call you sweetheart.” 

 

If your heart rate was anything to go by or the fact that your stomach is doing summersaults, then yes maybe you did like Matts pet name for you. Matt’s fingers brush along your next, down towards your collarbone and sweeps back up again. Your breaths coming out in signs until it hitches. He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear and slowly moves away. 

 

“I think it is time for us to go home now.” You check the time on your phone, quarter to two in the morning. Definitely time for you to go home, nothing good can happen from here. You turn to Foggy to see if he agrees but he is tongue deep in a girl you’ve never seen before. He motions you away with his hand, not once breaking concentration. 

 

“I’ll walk you home” Matt says quietly. Gathering his stick and setting down his beer. 

 

“Oh no it’s okay. I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself.” 

 

“I have no doubt about that. But just for my peace of mind, what kind of friend would I be if I let Foggy’s sister walk home on her own” his voice almost comes across teasing. 

 

You huff, unable to find a reason not to let him join you. “Fine. Let’s go.” 

 

You’ve run ahead of Matt, squealing at the frigid air hitting you. You watch as your breath floats away from you, you love how quiet everything is.  He chuckles and calls out for you to be careful before jogging up to meet you. You take Matt’s arm, walking the long quiet path back to your dormitory with slow unstable steps. The night air has hit you and made the alcohol take an effect. “I say what a splendid evening” a fancy British accent causes Matt to study you. Giggling to yourself with amusement, Matt seems to lose concentration and almost trips over his feet causing you to laugh harder. 

 

Keeping up with the accent Matt calls out “Oh Clementine darling you are going to wrong way” pulling you back with an outstretched arm when you go to round the wrong corner. He spins you around and pulls you in close. You share a hearty laugh, which warms your insides. 

 

“Oh, silly me! I need a strong man to carry me home” you shrill just as you jump on Matts back. With a humph Matt adjusts you on his back, stick still in hand, he continues the walk back home. You have no concept of time at this point and the world around you starts to spin, mostly because of how amazing Matt smells. You breathe in deep trying to inhale as much of it as you can, all while committing it to memory. 

 

“Thank you, good sir. I much appreciate your efforts in getting me home. I shall bid you a good night” you’re not really sure why you’ve kept up the accent, and it falls off towards the end. You just stand there staring up at Matt, his grip on your waist firm. You push his hair off his forehead and slowly graze your fingers along his cheekbone. 

 

“Let me see your eyes,” you whisper, you were curious what colour they were, and it bugged you not knowing what they looked like. You knew about Matts accident through Foggy, but you didn’t know much more about Matt than that. “Mmmh, you’re so pretty. Do you know that?”

 

He doesn’t say anything for a minute, he stills under your touch, contemplating your words as his eyes sightlessly roam your face. “I don’t think you’re meant to call boys pretty but thank you”. Matt slowly reaches for your hand as if trying not to startle you. Bringing it to his mouth, he gently places a kiss on the inside of your wrist. Your entire body envelopes in flames, maybe the night will end well after all. 

 

He goes to take a step back, creating space between you as if his actions were an unspoken goodbye. But you’re not ready yet, and pull him in close by his shoulders, lips almost in reach. His head pulls back quickly, not expecting your moves. A gentle smile is followed by the words “we shouldn’t.”

 

Before you know what is happening Matt is stalking off down the path head low. 

 

You groan up to the sky, not quite sure where you stand with Matt. But one thing you’re certain about - Matt is a tease and will likely never touch you again

[penultimatefan02]

A Wildly Unhinged Theory about Logan and Pen

MAJOR SPOILERS AND SPECULATION

A theory that has been needling at me for a while became a bit more evident after rewatching X-Men Origins: Wolverine, and The Avengers.

In My Time at Sandrock, Pathea pays homage to Wolverine by giving his name, James Howlett, and his alias, Logan, to two of the game's characters. Howlett, a famous monster hunter, was Logan’s father. Logan, in turn, grew up to become a renowned monster hunter in his own right.

However, it was Pen's story that incorporated Wolverine’s history and fighting ability. Pen was experimented on by the military, which made him stronger. That created a triangle between the three characters, where each point represents a characteristic of Wolverine. Except, the triangle was broken because Pen did not have a connection to Howlett or Logan, but what if he did? What if Pen is "Weapon X?"

Was Pen’s role in the Duvos mission purely for country, wealth and fame, or was there a personal motive in play as well? What if Howlett’s death was about much more than his stumbling upon Pen’s Duvos mission?

In Sandrock, Pen was 31 years old, and Logan was 28. That put them three years apart, with Howlett marrying Logan’s mom in ’71. Before Howlett married, did he spend time in Duvos or adjacent to it? Could he have had a relationship with Pen’s mother?

If Pen were a major part of Howlett’s backstory, could that connect the last point of the triangle? It would make sense that Pen knew more than he was letting on during the events in Sandrock. What if he knew of Howlett in a different capacity? What if we witnessed the ramifications of Pen knowing that Howlett was his estranged father?

If we did, was the hatred of Logan because Pen was denied a relationship with Howlett? Did Pen blame Howlett, and in turn Logan, for his circumstances and the experimentation he endured at the hands of Duvos? Could we learn something about Howlett that may alter our perceptions of him and thus Pen’s actions toward him? Nevertheless, it was curious that when Pen talked to the Builder, he only ever mentioned his mother in passing.

Now with all in consideration, what if Pen volunteered for the mission in Sandrock for that reason? It would explain a lot as to why his attack against Logan at the Starship Ruins felt so extremely personal and why Pen so eagerly shared with Logan that he killed Howlett. Pen found joy in Logan’s suffering because it was his restitution.

The brother vs. brother theme is popular in Marvel comics. Logan and Victor in Origins may have been an inspiration for Logan in Sandrock, with the exception that he did not know the history of his father or of Pen’s familial existence. In Logan's upcoming journey in Evershine, we may learn more about Howlett's past, which could then reveal more about Pen. Howlett’s Hunters is also a homage to Marvel’s Howling Commandos, so they may surely meet up with Pen at some point.

In Sandrock, the fight between Pen and Logan in the Starship Ruins was a homage to another great battle between brothers. Pen played the role of Scar and Logan was Mufasa in the famous Disney cliff scene. Unlike the film, and despite Pen’s attempt to kill Logan, both live to fight another day. Sandrock also had a Beauty and the Beast reference by modeling Pen after Gaston. The homage extended to the overall Sandrock story where the Builder, in the nongendered “Belle” role, learned that sometimes, the guy pretending to be the hero is not, and the one perceived as bad turns out to be good.

Another thing we learned in Sandrock was that Pen’s a false narrator. We could only guess his truths from his lies, which included comments he made during interviews or standing behind bars at the Civil Corp. Everything he said in Sandrock was to cover his true intentions and his purpose for being there. All of it. From his “I’m the protector” to his “I coulda been a contenda” speech was all lies to hide the fact he was a pissed-off brother from another mother.

Where could this story take us? I predict that like Wolverine, Logan could come close to killing Pen. Although, much like when Elsie stopped the fight in front of city hall, she could stop this one. She could be the voice warning Logan that if he killed Pen, he would be just as bad.

[Logan killing a person is not something I want to see happen for the sake of the character. He is better than that and I genuinely believe Pen will not die by his hands.]

Elsie, as the monster whisperer, could help Pen by another means, which may trigger Pen’s inflection point. It could also be where Pen chooses the path to him becoming the Loki to Logan’s Thor. It is quite plausible they could team up to battle against a much bigger mutual enemy.

This is where I think Aadit could play a big role, as he may have been experimented on by Duvos as well. He very well may hold the key to helping Howlett's Hunters undo some of the damage inflicted on both Duvos men. I am very curious to see how his story plays out in Evershine.

If this is in any way the path the story will take, then my earlier theory about Pen may still hold true but I hope it is not the case. I want to see all these men deal with their history and come out the other side better for it.

[magnorious]

I figured out why I didn’t like Arcane Season 2!

Randomly, while at work.

I do not have the energy or time to intensely rewatch all 18 episodes right now so if you’re going to harass me about some minute detail in episode 7 that I’m forgetting… go off I guess?

My issue when I watched it was a lack of connectivity between the buildup of S1 and the payoff in S2 and how the whole thing felt rushed. I did not like Ambessa but couldn’t figure out why. She’s a fine character, but every time she was on screen she just felt unnecessary. I know she’s there for Mel’s arc and is a threat to Piltover.

But the initial conflict that divided Zaun and Piltover wasn’t from without, it was from within. Zaun had been suffering under Piltover’s boot and the runoff of Piltover’s pollution for generations. They were disenfranchised and both left to rot, but still under Piltover policing. Their issues were never about magic or its existence, it was always politics between them and only them.

Enter the hex cores and Ambessa from Noxus. Having the big resolution of the entire series, that felt like it was building up to explore the many different realms for the game’s other popular characters, to then funnel it back into a snake eating itself, with Viktor being the mage that Jayce saw all those years ago felt… limiting. Viktor’s “the solution to world peace is removing free will” impacted Vi and Jinx in that they’re all three Zaunites, but after all these years of bad blood, one team-up against a third-party military is the solution to fixing the relationship between Piltover and Zaun?

It took what I thought was going to be a political story working at how to give Zaun justice for all the shit done unto them and said “wait, put all politics aside we gotta fight these robots”. The show does not have a “everything’s perfect now” happy ending, but that’s a whole lot to be left to interpretation.

I’m still in disbelief that this was apparently the plan from the beginning, when they crammed just so much into this season. You open the entire series on a genocide that orphaned the two poster characters, because of systemic issues between two nations, and resolve the series with someone else’s villain while these two run support.

I don’t hate any of the characters, despite being a bit disappointed that they brought Vander back to just… die again, like they could not come up with anything better to give these two. Ambessa wants the hexcore and wants to take over Piltover. Great. Yeah, that’s a threat to Zaun, assuming she plans to make life exponentially worse for them, but it wasn’t the original threat to Zaun. Viktor wants to solve all suffering by mind-controlling everyone. Great. Once he’s gone, does everyone just toss their grievances aside?

Could season 2 not have been building up the extent of the damage that the hexcore was doing to both nations, giving them all time to understand that they’ve got to work together to clean up Piltover’s mess with Viktor as the villain? Then go and expand the world into the Ambessa problem in season 3, once these nations have built at least the foundations of an alliance. Nobody would have complained about having more show to watch.

[biconickyoshi]

Okay y’all… I was very critical of eps 3 & 4 (especially 4) of NAtLA. Then all of a sudden eps 5 & 6 kinda slapped me in the face with how much better the show suddenly got.

Spoiler-free thoughts first:

Zuko, Iroh, and Aang have cemented themselves as the best parts about this adaptation - which is really funny considering I’m currently writing a longfic AU where Zuko and Iroh discover Aang in the iceberg right after Zuko is banished at age 13 and end up becoming the first members of the Gaang (albeit reluctantly at first lol). Episode 6: “Masks” (the Blue Spirit adaptation) was so good, I’d venture to say that it actually improved and fleshed out some things from the original series.

Episode 5: “Spirited Away”, while not as good as E6, was not as bad as I heard people say it was going to be. I think that the changes they did make didn’t bother me nearly as much as the changes they made in the last episode, and it was actually entertaining.

There were several scenes that made me cry in both of these episodes (moreso in episode 6, which I’ll get into further down in the spoiler section). These are the scenes that I feel like really tapped into the heart of the original show rather than feeling like a soulless remake.

Now for my in-depth thoughts (INCLUDES SPOILERS):

EP 5: “Spirited Away”

- Staring out, I was bummed because I had just rewatched the first two eps of the original animated series lol.

- It was an interesting choice to have all three members of the Gaang get stuck in the Spirit World, but I think it worked.

- Wan Shi Tong just showing up randomly was a bit unnecessary, but I suppose it will be kinda interesting to see him again in S2 since he’s already met the Gaang

- Hei Bai plays a much smaller role in these eps, but I strangely didn’t mind that either?

- Seeing Katara’s last memory with her mom was devastating, especially the fact that she had to witness her death and hide in the igloo with Kya’s charred body :(( she definitely has severe PTSD.

- Even Sokka’s memory made me tear up a bit

- Koh being the villain and a soul-eater or whatever was a bit of an odd choice, but I guess I can see why they did it. I do prefer him just being an asshole who steals ppl’s faces lol

- Appreciated the Fog of Lost Souls reference from the LoK lore

- Aang reuniting with Gyatso made me cry. I know some people didn’t like him being in the Spirit World, but I really liked it. Also, the fact that Gyatso was the first person to tell Aang that it wasn’t his fault the Air Nomads died, and that if he had been there he would have died too? THANK YOU! My poor boy has been berated enough for “abandoning” the world.

- We got some interesting lore about the afterlife for humans from Gyatso and Aang’s convo, which we’ve never gotten in AtLA media before. Idk if it’s just for Air Nomads, but Aang mentions that Gyatso stayed behind instead of “seeking enlightenment”. I know that the end goal in Buddhism is to reincarnate until you eventually achieve nirvana, so I wonder if that’s what they were alluding to (I’m not an expert on religions so pls correct me if I’m wrong)

- Oh yeah, I forgot June is here lmao. As a queer person I loved her (bc beautiful goth woman) but I didn’t like the weird choice to make her hit on Iroh - I guess to contrast the Iroh being creepy towards her thing in the OG series. I wish they would have just had them interact normally tbh, no weird “flirting”

EP 6: “Masks”

- Here we go y’all. The best episode in the show so far and probably the best the show is gonna get this season. I’m still pretty shocked at how good this one was.

- I think the decision to include flashbacks to Zuko’s Agni Kai was a good decision here. It felt like an appropriate episode for them and the flashbacks were very well done.

- In general, Dallas is doing a phenomenal job at portraying a Zuko who is angry and aggressive, yes, but also so very sweet and compassionate at his core. I love when little inklings of his true self shine through.

- Roku was… not what I expected. He was very much more of a lighthearted and jokey person… I didn’t hate it, it was just unexpected lol. I wonder if they did that to contrast him with Kyoshi. Which, speaking of, I’m glad Roku clarified that Aang doesn’t just need to be a merciless warrior (and that he didn’t berate Aang for “abandoning” the world like she did). But I still am annoyed about the mischaracterization of Kyoshi in general.

- RIP Shyu :/

- Thought it was kind of strange how June captures Aang at Roku’s temple lol. Like how did she get on and off the island??

- Zhao continues to feel like a completely different character to me lmao. I think this version is pretty funny, but it’s so weird to see Zhao being portrayed as so goofy and incompetent when he was such an intimidating force and the main villain of Book 1 in the OG series. Just a weird direction they went with his character.

- The Yuyan archers look cool as fuck. 10/10 no notes

- Still not sure how I feel about Azula already being this insecure and jealous of Zuko. I think it makes her feel a bit more realistically like a child, but the whole point of Azula’s character is that she is really good at maintaining this cool and calm persona on the surface, which she uses to scare and manipulate people. I can see her maybe getting to a point later on to where she hardens herself into that though. We’ll see.

- Baby Zuko asking Iroh how he looks and his little smile 😭😭😭😭 I had a physical “aww” reaction to that. THAT’S MY SON (me and Iroh shouting in unison)

- War Room scene was handled very well. No complaints. I like how Ozai tried to test Zuko with battle strategies.

- Blue Spirit break out scene was extremely close to the original, and it was really good. They adapted it almost shot for shot with all the important parts.

- Here’s probably my favorite part of the episode: Zuko and Aang’s talk inside the abandoned house after they escape from Pohuai!!!!!! Gahhhh I could gush about this scene all day. I love how they expanded it to be an actual friendly conversation between Aang and Zuko. Like we get to see Zuko’s true self coming through - the sweet, kind boy we know he is. Zuko and Aang just have such great chemistry as well, wayyy more than Aang has with either Sokka or Katara. Like I adored them bonding over painting and caligraphy!!! I think this is the best acting we’ve seen from Gordon so far, and Dallas did a phenomenal job switching back to that hurt, angry version of himself (of course a trauma response). And the fact that Aang said “sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you” when he blocked Zuko’s firebending attack??? My sweet boy 😭

- The final flashback to the Agni Kai was really well done too. I’d already heard Zuko fights back, which I wasn’t sure I’d like, but I actually didn’t mind it. I really liked that they showed Zuko’s hesitation whenever he did actually have an opening, and that was what angered Ozai the most - Zuko showing compassion, “weakness”. Daniel Dae Kim is of course doing a phenomenal job (no surprises there), and I really liked that Iroh actually attempted to stop Ozai at one point. It also looked like young Azula had tears in her eyes, which I again actually liked because it humanizes her.

- I loved that Aang was still there when Zuko woke up on the boat 😭 he wanted to make sure he was okay!! I full on started crying when we got the “do you think we could have been friends too?” lines from him. Again, Gordon killed it. I love how you can tell that Aang knows Zuko has been hurt and that’s why he acts the way he does. He doesn’t blame him for any of it. 10/10

- the last flashback to Zuko in his bed recovering from the burn… god the tears just kept flowing. I really liked the choice to have Ozai almost give Zuko a chance to like… idk understand why he did what he did, and how compassion is “weak”?? And then Zuko’s response to give people a chance 😭😭😭 as if I couldn’t love him any more!!! And then of course Ozai gets pissed. But seeing baby Zuko just cry in his bed UGH I’m dehydrated at this point

- Of course I can’t finish this review without mentioning the 41st division. What an incredible way to expand upon the source material by making them Zuko’s crew!!! It shows just how much Zuko truly cares about others and it moved me so much (once again to tears).

I don’t have high hopes for the last two episodes, but honestly, if this is what the live action can be, it gives me a bit of hope (at least for future seasons). I really think that Dallas, Gordon, Paul, and Daniel were the stars of this ep and are a big part of what made it so good.

[fantasticalleigh]

Have jinx’s powers ever been explained?

everyone else who uses shimmer needs to take constant doses. It wears off. It becomes less effective (in Salo’s case especially) from overuse. So why does Jinx seem to operate her powers permanently (even if she doesn’t use them for a long time they clearly are still in effect)? In season one when Singed made the transfusion (for lack of a better word) of shimmer into her veins to save her from death, do we really know if that’s all he did? If the rest of the Zaunites knew they could achieve that kind of power they’d probably do it, too. Sevika wouldn’t need to top off her old mecha arm all the time. Silco wouldn’t have needed those daily shots in his eye. The blonde teenager guy who Silco and Singed turned into a beast wouldn’t also need constant doses to transform. So what exactly is Jinx’s permanent/self-sustaining source of Shimmer that allows her powers to never fade? Does her body produce shimmer now separately to keep her going or is it just somehow imbued into her blood? I need to rewatch season one bc it’s been a while but I think I remember her veins glowing that shimmer purple a few times, especially during the “operation”, not just her eyes so I think this could be the case.

I just keep wondering about it because MAJOR SPOILERS FOR SEASON 2 PART 2 BELOW:

Singed knew (and I guess Viktor did too) that Viktor’s powers/abilities were fading. But if they came from the Hextech and/or the Arcane, then shouldn’t it be an infinite supply? Granted, he did use a TON of his power to build those Coachella grounds (jk) and to heal the Zaunites (while Jinx really only uses her shimmer powers during combat) but I was genuinely surprised to see that his powers were that fragile in the end. That his death meant the death of everything he’d healed and created.

What was that Sky said to Vik? “Everything has its limit?” Could jinx’s powers ever have a limit (that isn’t death)? Like if she goes Super Saiyan after Ishe dies at the end of act two and expends a ton of the shimmer power, could that end it? And along that line, if she runs out of it…she would die, right?

I’m not saying that Jinx and Viktor’s powers are the same thing. Shimmer and the Hextech/the Arcane are three wildly different sources. I just think it’s super interesting because I used to believe (before season two aired) that Jinx’s newfound powers wouldn’t last (and I want to be clear I’m glad she still has them bc the look is amazing and my home girl glitches around like a Bladedancer Hunter in Destiny doing the Blink jump). But Viktor’s came and went so quickly. I know there’s time gaps in the show but as the viewer it felt so sudden is all I’m saying.

Just thinking out loud. I’m not putting this as a hard theory bc it’s half formed and I’m just musing.

[the-sky-the-stars-the-sea]

Day Three of the Ultimate Dragon Prince Rewatch! 🙌🙌

Season three rewatch!

Kinda lowkey head empty but here goes

Rayla turning back to Callum when she’s telling Sol Regem about all the great things about Callum. Like. She didn’t have to do that. She’s supposed to be trying to convince Sol Regem. But also we know Callum is someone who doesn’t always see his worth. And so she’s saying it to his face, which both refutes his claims of not being valuable, and shows that she can say all those things to his face. Which,, it’s not always easy to say something to someone’s face like that. And she did it with a smile on her face and refused to let him get eaten by Sol Regem. Queen 🙌

Amaya and Gren reunite >>>>>>>>>>>

I love how every scene in ep 2 of Callum and Rayla is just the fluffiest thing how they’re exploring Xadia while literally everyone else is having a bad time

Adoraburrs my belovedddddd

Season Three Episode Three more like OUUUCH WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DO THAT TO MY HEARTTTTT

So on one hand the flashback of Runaan and Ethari always gets me and cuts me to the core, but today it stung a little less, I’m guessing it’s because I know what happens in season six (I say I’m calm now but I think the second season six releases I’m going to be running around in circles screaming until they reunite)

It’s also not easy for me to watch Soren and Claudia meet Viren in the dungeon. And it’s just. You can see the exact moment that Claudia is sure that her dad did in fact send Soren to kill the princes. Claudia tells him that Soren almost died and Viren YELLS and stretches to the end of the chain, telling them that that it doesn’t matter. And in that moment Claudia can tell that something isn’t right. And although she doesn’t want it to be true, she trusts her brother and her instincts. Unfortunately, Aaravos tells Viren to lie, and so he does. He gaslights Soren to the point it wretches my heart. And Claudia…Claudia does believe Soren. She believes he’s not crazy. But…she still looks up to her father too much. And here he is telling her that he did not send Soren to kill the princes. And so the denial in her goes quiet.

“If my interpretation is correct, which it is,” Kazi you wonderful ruler you 🙌

Janai is all “ugh, you annoy me, human” until her sister threatens to dispose of her, then it’s all “this human is different” and helps that human survive looking into the Light…okay Janai I get it you won’t say you’re in love, no biggie

Man I still don’t agree with all of Nyx’s choices but she is fun to watch

I love the boomerang reference, so for most of the years I’ve watched this show I didn’t watch Avatar, and now that I have seen it I burst out laughing when I heard Jack de Sena in this episode say “boomerang?”

Once again we get the picture that Rayla hasn’t really been allowed to show weakness or vulnerability. But she breaks, and Callum isn’t backing away. And he’s actually not pitying her. He literally tells her to “shut up” and that’s what catches her attention because this hasn’t been his approach so far. And then, just like she did for him, he tells her how amazing she is. And her little laugh when he says that she’s the funniest person he knows…I love it. So cute.

K so. Why is the kid being taken to a cell. Why is the most dangerous guy becoming king when he was just locked up for treason. Huh maybe fictional world kids show politics do mirror real life

YEAHHHH SORENNN HELP OPELLI AND CORVUS AND EZRANNNN

Soren and Callum are the worst liars, especially when guilty. “Of course we’re both here! Why wouldn’t we be?” meets “HORSES NEED HAY. I AM TAKING HAY TO THE HORSES.”

“Dear…Moon Lady” never gets old

Imagine being Ezran though and you meet up again with your brother and the girl you’ve known for like three weeks tops and you’ve left them alone for what can’t be more than five days, and now they’re romantically entangled

“Neolawwwndia.” “Uh, yeah, that’s what I said. NoOdleOodLiA! :D” THIS ALSO NEVER GETS OLD

Actually it’s really funny watching Kasif because he’s flanked by two AuDHD teens and maybe their dad is normal but oh wait he’s…talking to the little bug on his ear.

I love the scene where they’re at the base and Callum is talking through his feelings about seeing Avizandum. And how Zym and Ezran are playing in that area. Rayla talks about how Zym and Ezran going to change things. This is one of a few times where we are shown old wounds that are healing.

I think it’s really important that until now neither Soren or Claudia have seen Viren’s Dark Magic Face til Lux Aurea. Claudia audibly gasps when she sees Viren. It’s probably scary and confusing for her—just like what she was to Ezran last season. And yet she still goes Ezran saw the best in her, and so she’s doing the same with her dad. Soren though…Soren’s seeing the red flags.

So season 1-2 Viren was not afraid of saying that he was afraid/terrified…. But he has much more power now, and when Soren refused to accept the “gift” because he’s afraid, Viren snarls, commanding Soren to come forward. This isn’t the same man who said he was terrified. This is someone who feels unstoppable, someone who has always held his son to too high standards.

Soren leaves, Claudia notices. They’re splintering, but not quite unbreakable yet. But then he asks her to choose, again. She has to choose once again between her dad and someone what she loves. And you can hear it in her voice, she does not want to choose again. You can hear it still haunts her. And then he leaves, and she starts screaming, and my heart breaks 💔 because not only is it heart breaking to watch but also because it means they’ll no longer be on the same side 💔 (her mother told her last time that she needed to stay with Soren…. Things would have turned out much different if she chose to go with him again 😔)

It’s funny to me watching the scene where they’re climbing the storm spire because they’re out of breath and that’s how I am when I’m climbing anything. And they can’t take it, but it’s because their lungs can’t make it. And then they get a breathe spell and then they’re better. Anyways I had undiagnosed asthma until 2023 so this scene always spoke out to me.

Was thinking about Soren having facial hair as he’s riding to the storm spire. I interpret that detail as a demonstration of how he’s been going straight to the storm spire without stopping, but also it’s our first time seeing him with facial hair so I can’t help but think that’s supposed to show that he’s grown.

I love Soren’s speech in episode eight. You can see he’s struggling because what would you do if you just came to tend with your father being the villain? What would you do if you figured out you were manipulated by the person you looked up to the most?

“The only way to stop this is to look evil in the face and say no more.” AHHHHHHHHH THAT LINE WILL FOREVER GO SO HARDDDDD

Callum figuring out the truth about Rayla’s parents for her, freeing her from the burden she’s been carrying…ahhhhhhh my heart

Still one of the most epic battles in all media. Endgame has Iron Man sure, but do they have a baker who takes superhuman soldiers out with a rolling pin and some jelly tarts? I didn’t think so.

The Viren illusion was so cruel for Soren.

Hey. Hey Viren. You are threatening to trap a fifteen year old in a coin, as you are telling her you have others that way (including her parents). I mean you threatened a 9-10 year old like two days ago but like. In your quest to save humanity you have been becoming pretty inhumane yourself.

Rayla throwing herself and Viren off the cliff…we’ve seen this in her since season one. She’s always been willing to sacrifice herself for the dragon prince and the future of Xadia. And it always hits hard when you see her make the choice she knows she can’t come back from.

CALLUM MAGE WINGSSSSSS

“Just the four of us. Five of us.” “Just the five of you, huh?” Gahh I love it when everyone is working together

I actually got goosebumps all up and down my arms when Zubeia woke up and because of how happy she was seeing elves and humans working together to bring back her baby. Wholesome ending indeed <3

(Love when Amaya bumps Janai, looks at her reproachfully, Janai scoffs, but then they both smile the second they start holding hands)

Watching Viren in the cave always gives me war flashbacks to when I had to wait 2 1/2 years for the next season to come out.

All in all, love season three! As my friend likes to say, good soup.

[pinkeoni]

The Great Jonathan Byers Conspiracy

(Or, Jonathan was framed and I'm going to prove it)

So I started a rewatch of the show and I'm on episode two of s1. I get to the part towards the end where Jonathan is taking photos of Nancy. So I think "Okay. This is the part where we see Jonathan take a photo of Nancy topless, right? We see him notice Nancy take her top off and then raise the camera to take another photo, right?"

But that's not what happened

The scene happens as follows. We see Jonathan snap a photo of Nancy— with her shirt on— before the scene cuts inside of Steve's room.

Nancy then removes her top. Nancy and Steve start making out and we cut back to Jonathan who lowers his camera.

This is the part where I expected Jonathan to lift his camera up and start taking more pictures. That's how I remember it happening. But no, we instead see Jonathan focus his attention back to the pool and snap a picture of Barb instead.

So what the hell? Am I being gaslit?

I remember so distinctly a moment where we see Jonathan consciously raise the camera to take another picture of her topless, and yet it's not there. I do still want to clarify however, that the topless photo of Nancy does still exist. We see it clearly in the following episode. So yes, Jonathan did still take a photo of Nancy topless, we just don't see him take it.

But according to a lot of people online, we did see it, the Duffer Brothers just removed it.

I remember hearing about this when it first cropped up, which was partially prompted by the Duffers joking to "George Lucas" Will's birthday in season 2, which they never ended up doing anyway. They also stated on Twitter that no scene had ever been digitally edited, and didn't plan to in the future.

So the Duffers must be lying, right? Otherwise why how would so many people remember seeing that scene? I guess there’s no way to be sure without a DVD or Blu-Ray of the show.

But wait, I have a DVD of season one. I got it for Christmas! But I’m staying at my parents house and I don’t feel like driving three hours just to prove a point. I guess all is lost for the moment.

Unless…

It was at this part of my spiraling that I sent a crazed two minute voice memo at 11:00 at night to my roommate and good friend @lemonsoured filling him in on my conspiracy, and then leaving instructions to go downstairs, locate my season one DVD on the living room shelf, put the DVD into my PS4, go to the end of episode two and take a phone recording of the scene in question.

And lo and behold, the scene of Jonathan taking pictures of Nancy, exactly as it appears on Netflix.

So I am aware that in the video there isn’t much to indicate that this is in fact a recording of the DVD and not a recording of the Netflix version, so you’ll just have to take my word for it. But still, ask any DVD or Blu-Ray owner for what is on their disk, and I can garuntee that they’ll all give the same answer.

Because the shot of Jonathan taking the photo of Nancy never existed. The Duffers aren’t lying. The masses collectively lied to themeselves.

But how did this happen? How did a massive audience full of people, including myself, come to believe that there was a moment of Jonathan consciously taking that photo?

I’ll tell you why. It was a psyop to defame character!

Usually when a new season of Stranger Things rolls around, there comes the flow of comments on twitter saying “Hey, remember when Jonathan took a photo of Nancy changing and now she’s in a relationship with him?” which is usually done in the name of trying to bring down Jonathan and build up Steve.

And I’m not doing this to try to claim that Jonathan is a completely innocent baby who actually did nothing wrong. After all, the topless photo does still exist and as @notmybabies pointed out in the replies of one of posts, Jonathan chose to go through the process of developing it anyway. So he’s not completely off the hook. If the Duffers did want to eradicate Jonathan’s faults, then they would have digitally edited the topless Nancy photo to a different one, something that would have been possible.

But you ever notice how it’s always “Jonathan is a creep” and never “Steve called Nancy a slut and Jonathan a queer?”

I adore Steve, but what I’m trying to see is people seem to try and diminish the depth and complications of both of these characters, and it usually results in fans making Jonathan out to be a sex depraved pervert who has always had it out for Nancy, while Steve is their angel who could do no wrong. Steve couldn’t have had a good redemption arc if there wasn’t a place for him to grow from!

They never want to acknowledge that Jonathan was a lonely kid who made a bad mistake which he apologized for while looking for his brother and that Steve was a different person before he decided to change. Eliminating these character’s depths is eliminating what makes them interesting characters! Neither are completely pure and neither are completely evil!!

So in conclusion:

[loveselenade]

Madoka 3.0

So, I was wrong about Tomoe Mami…

The last time I wrote about Madoka Magica (many months ago,oops), I had watched 1.5 episodes and kept reading Mami in a sinister light. Ever since, I’ve watched the whole first three episodes and one whole minute of the fourth before deciding I do want to write down my impressions, after all (I’ll try to do an episode every two or so weeks after this write up, since I find them pretty taxing to craft and post lol). With that out of the way…

Rewatch observations.

There was a lot I didn’t write about last time; it’s such a packed premiere in terms of craft, I’d have never finished if I wrote everything I wanted to note. Even now, I’m compiling only a few new observations from my re-watch of episode one.

So, the first thing is the background design. In terms of architecture and adornment, especially when it comes to the school, it really brings to mind postmodernist spaces. This shot legitimately reminds me to art museums I’ve been to in terms of the open the space with the sculpture of a withering plant encased in a strange cage placed front and center, like in an exhibition, and the open, well-lit rooms with framed pictures on the wall:

[Image description: a wide room filled with students dilly-dallying. It has wide, white panels in the walls, a framed picture by the right edge and a sculptured of a whitering plant encased in a strange cage placed front and center.]

I wonder if Madoka Magica would make for a good excuse to read on post-modern art lol

Funnily enough, the clear panels to their classrooms make their framework stand out, making them look like cages as well:

[Image id: Madoka and Homura, with the latter taking the lead, walking away from the classrooms, placed at the center of the image. They’re framed by classroom walls on both edges of the frame as well as in the background, you can see students peeking outside through the clear panels.]

They also allow for quite the peanut gallery. If one chooses to fully immerse in a gay reading, the exposed feeling as the two of them walk away from the rest of the student body can be quite resonant.

Also, what’s with the cages? I guess I’ll find out eventually.

That aside, and this observation is courtesy of my sister, the background design can also give off a feeling like that of a backroom due the openness and uniformity of the spaces. There can be a sense of infinity and liminality to them, even (think of the corridors Madoka and Homura traverse while walking to the infirmary, for example). This sense of being on the threshold of realization haunts Madoka’s waking up sequences, but it also feels fitting for Homura’s own state of being—her warning to Madoka highlights her preference for stasis, as she tells Madoka that if she were to seek change, she’d lose it all. Now, obviously, this is because Madoka seems doomed to die regardless how many times Homura loops, but it’s also worth bringing up that adolescence is often thought up as an intermediate space between childhood and adulthood, mired with great, uncontrollable change. One could say that the time loop narrative serves to heighten Homura’s teenage anxieties, and it stands in direct contraposition to Madoka’s budding hunger to grow and embrace change. I might be getting ahead of myself here, but Madoka’s wish to change also seems to clash with all the illusory motion present in the first few minutes of this episode—meaning that there’s something inherent to the processual dynamics of being a magical girl that might offer an illusion of advancement but it’s fundamentally at odds with it.

[Image id: A screenshot of Madoka standing in the blue hallway where Homura issues her warning. She’s placed slightly to the right of the center line, and she watches Homura leave, who is placed on top of the point of fugue at the center of the image. The subtitles read: “Stay as you are, and as you always shall be.”]

See? The window panels are very evenly spaced and the repetition allows for a sense of infinity. Since Homura is placed over the point of fugue, there isn’t an end in sight for this corridor. The faded colors and details at the back are to create a sense of depth through atmospheric perspective, but for all you know this corridor is endless.

[Image id: A close up to cherry tomatoes still in their stems, attached to the plant. Mr Kaname holds some scissorts to cut one off the plant.]

There’s also quite a bit of focus on these cherry tomatoes as we take a peek at Madoka's idyllic home life in episode one. I don’t really know what to make of this lol Are we in the Big O?

The second thing from episode one I want to highlight is Sayaka’s feelings towards Homura. In my first watch, I was very amused by her playing protector to Madoka to really notice, but Sayaka reacts quite jealous of Homura, doesn't she?

[Screenshot showing Hitomi and Sayaka sitting on the same side of the tabe with trays with their lunches before them. Hitomi, sat to the left observes Sayaka, sat to right margin. Sayaka is infuriated, with her hands up in a disgruntled gesture. Her dialogue reads “Just how big of an impression does she have to make on people?”]

She complains about Homura so much during episode two, it’s hilarious.

She paints it in a jokey manner, but she seems quite frustrated at Homura’s perceived perfection in looks, academics and athletics. Now, I say this because I watched that whole first minute of episode four, (however, it was also teased in the rose-tinted nostalgia for Kamijō’s playing in episode three), but she does legitimately seem to have a complex about her own average-ness compared to prodigies such as Kamijō and Homura. You know, her whole hero shtick does remind me quite a bit to Tenjō Utena’s own princely act, and given that one had a component to building up one’s own ego, I’m genuinely wondering if Sayaka is trying to soothe and elevate herself to compensate for her own sense of inferiority. When I watched episode three, I wanted Mami and Homura to duke it out, but they didn’t, preferring to stall with words. I’m now placing my hopes on you, Sayaka, as your animosity for Homura grows from your protective feelings for Madoka, your anger at her dismissive attitude towards Mami’s death and your gnawing jealousy! I’m rooting for you!

Childish aspirations.

[Image id: High-angle view of Madoka, Sayaka and Mami sitting at a restaurant’s table. Madoka and Sayaka are sitting together in the couch, while Mami sits to the right in the solitary chair, opposite to Madoka. Sayaka is holding a bat and sitting more in the middle. Both Sayaka and Mami are laughing at Madoka, who’s is staring in disbelief.]

I can’t forgive them for laughing at Madoka’s drawings…

Since I never wrote my thoughts on the second half of episode two, it seems fitting to resume the analysis now—given that I wrote most of the interesting interpretations for the first half that I could up in the 1.5 write-up already. Last time, I remarked off-handily that Misses Kaname’s wishes concerned practical preoccupations about her work life, both due her life experience as well as her clearer priorities and ambitions in life, which contrasted her to her daughter’s teenage aimlessness. This still holds true, especially in terms of maturity. Where Misses Kaname is pragmatic and cunning, Madoka and Sayaka are naïve and idealistic. This is highlighted through the items they chose to bring out when meeting Mami at the restaurant. Sayaka is excited for adventure, bringing up a bat to defend herself. It might appear a tad more practical than Madoka’s approach, but Sayaka is remarkably childish about the whole thing. During Mami’s explanation, she’s confused at the idea of Homura targeting Kyubey to avoid more competition because she views magical girls as “the good guys” who fight as a unified front against the evil of witches. She’s concerned about the panache of heroism, disappointed that tracking the witch amounts to just walking around a lot following the glow of the soul gem. However, by the end of the episode, she’s impressed again, happy to see Mami is both strong (won against the witch) and kind (adept at comforting the victim-the-week). She has a very idealist view of how a hero should look and behave. This, combined with the guilt she feels over Kamijō’s disabling accident that ended his career as musician (was she somehow involved in the incident?), it’s starting to make me believe she has quite the black-and-white view on things…

(On this note, Madoka knows of Kamijō and Sayaka’s visits to him, but she doesn’t seem to visit him herself. She refers to him by his last name, whereas Sayaka calls him by his first name. That’s intriguing.)

While Madoka appears more childish, she’s actually much more reflective, humble and grounded. Her main approach is imagination, as seen by her drawings of magical girl costumes. She’s carefully considering different angles to broach the situation, from the self-indulgent construction of her ideal image to serious contemplations to what being a magical girl entails. When confronted with the fact Mami had to let go of the witch to tend to them as her underclasswomen, Madoka quietly sits with the discomfort and apologizes for getting in the way—whereas Sayaka is still going on about heroes. While in the witch’s labyrinth, Mami asks them if they’re scared. Sayaka tries to look cool, but Madoka is able to sit with her honest feelings of both fear of the witch and admiration for Mami. One could argue that this openness— both to consider different angles and perspectives, and to admit her own feelings, whether privately or publicly— makes Madoka’s exploratory approach to discovering her goals, capabilities and values a lot more mature… However, her idealism and naivety are undeniable, and she and Sayaka will run face-first against the harsh reality of things by the end of episode three.

Mami the role model.

For now, the one thing standing in between their idealism and the seedy reality of the world is Tomoe Mami (which is why she had to die). As their upperclasswoman, she takes it upon herself to show them the ropes and to protect them. Her magic touch transforms Sayaka’s bat from plain object to magical weapon. Her seasoned intuition makes the right calls over when to stop and where to proceed. Her flourishes with her guns and acrobatics wow Madoka. As their peer, she presents an aspirational embodiment to their growing up towards adult competency: the attainment of mastery over one’s body and skills, wisdom and righteousness.  However, the underbelly to the process of becoming an adult starts to show: she loses her right to innocence, talking about keeping track of yellow press and her patrols of major highways and entertainment districts where chaos abounds, as well as isolated areas that are perfect for suicides (one of which they almost witness, but, once again, Mami acts as stopgap heroine preventing the full witnessing of). To grow up is to lose something.

[Screenshot from Revolutionary Girl Utena’s episode 18. It shows Akio’s profile facing right, with a meditative expression on his face. His dialogue reads: “With each passing year, a star loses some of its brilliance.”]

But let’s not forget why their journey is as it is: Kyubey’s request for them to be magical girls. What does it say that the life he’s pushing them into echoes Akio’s worldview? I also find worrying this line finds a clear parallel to their soul gems losing clarity. Really fishy.

If we are to go by Mami’s death, then that something lost is idealism. Her death marks a departure from the rose-tinted view of the adventure-filled life of a magical girl to one marked by grim consequences. Homura reinforces this by saying “Engrave this moment in your memories, this is what it means to be a magical girl.” In Homura’s view, the processual search of destabilizing change towards adulthood is irremediably traumatic. Mami’s demise certainly complicates the linear view of growing up as a gradual, progressive process towards adulthood[1]. The child might not merely be shielded from the horrors of the world and be filled with the appropriate knowledge and guidance to become a full-fledged member of society.[2] Furthermore, as shown in episode three, Mami’s own self already contained contradictions to these ideal conceptualizations of the child and the process of growing up as actualization of the self and reproduction of the communal future. What answers and further inquiries this questioning of adolescence yields in Madoka Magica is what I set myself to discover. For now, our heroines are first faced with the darkness of the world.

The environments reflect this increased sordidness. The darkness of the cityscape becomes deep, nearly swallowing our heroines. The aggressive reds to the sunset forebode danger. The nearly interminable bridge from which our heroines emerge presents a long way to safety, framed by withered tree branches.

[Image ID: Pictured of a really ominous red bridge that casts deep shadows towards the left. It’s placed so that it its center goes over the point of fugue, where the distant figures of the trio are placed. In the background, the dark city line looms against the twilight sky.]

The underexposed framing flattens perspective and casts them as mere shadows that could get lost in the regular, geometric darkness of the city.

[Image ID: Screenshot to the trio crossing a bridge headed to the left. Their bodies and the bridge appear shadowed with only their black silhouettes showing. The lamp posts are spaced evenly and cables that hold the bridge form rhomboids that also appear evenly. The sky is colored in an aggressive dusk and the faint city line in a purple shows in the background.]

The wide-angle look at the metallic interior of the building, framed by broken crystals, is intimidating and uninviting.  In short, it’s as though they’ve stepped into another, darker, parallel dimension to their world.

[Image ID: High, wide angle shot framed through curved broken glass of the interior of the abandoned complex where Gertrude manifested. There’s a shining metallic corridor and some stairs going down.]

The whole city is in flux once the twilight sets, transforming it from the luminous, safe gardens of Madoka's home and the school to a place where danger lurks in the shadows. Dusk itself has historically been constructed as a liminal time, a time where it's not quite day and not quite night, a time encoded with the thinning of boundaries between the worldly realm and the supernatural one (After all, ōmagatoki is the time when yōkai wake up and are able to move freely between worlds.) The confrontation with witches heightens the liminality of adolescence, where they move from childhood innocence and ignorance towards facing the more unsavory realities of the world. Their perception of their familiar, safe hometown is altered.

Yet, amidst all this bleakness, Mami still stands tall as a beacon of righteousness.

[1]  Balanzategui, J. The uncanny child in Transnational Cinema: Ghosts of Futurity at the turn of the Twenty-First Century. Amsterdam University Press, 2018. P14.

[2] Balanzategui, 2018, 10

Competition, Cooperation and Social Conventions.

Mami fits the well-mannered, soft-spoken and helpful upperclasswoman archetype to a tee. As such, she’s adept at navigating social situations gracefully and reading between lines, as well as prioritizing unity and avoiding unnecessary strife. This creates a stark contrast between her and the extremely off-putting Homura, who could be said to embody the anti-social, rival loner. We’re introduced to their tense dynamics when Mami gets in between Homura’s hunt of Kyubey in episode one. I can’t really parse if Homura ignored the subtext behind Mami’s polite dismissal on purpose, but it’s a recurring theme in their interactions:

Mami: The witch got away. If you want to hunt it down, you’ll need to chase after it quickly. I’ll give you this one. Homura: I’m here on business. Mami: You don’t seem to understand me. I’m saying I’ll let you go. Would it not be better for both of us to avoid any unnecessary trouble? (Homura reluctantly leaves after a few moments of tense, silent staring.)

Since Homura either ignored or failed to catch the true meaning behind her polite words, to read in between lines and act accordingly to avoid unnecessary strife, Mami had to explain her point directly. Depictions of and commentary on these types of social conventions— the molding of one’s behavior to be directed according to heteronomy rather than autonomy, the avoidance of conflicts and confrontation, and the indirect expression to avoid hurting others— and how failure to conform to them can bring in ostracism abounds in Japanese media (for an extremely well-liked example, think on Mob Psycho 100’s episode three, where the whole cultish group-think is what sets Shigeo off and reminds him of his painful experiences being mocked of for being unable to pick up the mood of the room).

I previously speculated that Homura might be cultivating an intentional distance between her and Madoka, but her interactions with Mami also show that Homura can’t help this distance at times. While she purposefully rejects Mami’s show of good will through the passing of the grief seed in episode two and curtly questions Mami’s intentions in the third, she appears thoroughly unprepared for the tensions escalating in Charlotte’s Labyrinth. Almost as if she hadn’t foreseen that the tensions boiling over could lead to her becoming immobilized. She’s unable to navigate the situation to successfully offer to take out the witch, and nearly jeopardizes her own mission to protect Madoka. Put in very simplistic terms, you can’t act together with other people if you don’t adhere to social conventions in some shape or form. Homura wants to favor acting alone (she wants to shoulder everything herself?) and is single-minded in her desire to protect Madoka, not caring if she’s misunderstood. I suspect this rejection of cooperation might be bringing in some of her failures.

[Image ID: Overhead, fish-eye frame of the girls at the abandoned complex where Gertrude manifested.There’s wide, tall window panels on the left edge, where Madoka, Sayaka are postioned towards the bottom edge of the screen. Over the picture’s diagonal, across from there, is placed the lone figure of Homura standing before a dark corridor. Mami’s dialogue reads: “Or do you dislike sharing with others?”]

Sayaka, Madoka and Mami are portrayed as a cohesive group, visually separated from Homura by the shadows of the pillars and the physical distance between them being amplified by the fish-eye perspective. Mami outright questions if Homura is selfish, read: unable to consider others’ feelings and adhere to a group.

As the newbies role model, it goes without saying that Mami is able to “consider others’ feelings” and “read in between lines”, as these are qualities that are enforced as desirable, especially for girls and women… In order to serve as an appropriate guide for Madoka and Sayaka, Mami must maintain social propriety. Interestingly, this ends up also distancing her from her juniors; it’s not a total departure like with Homura, but it does parallel them as lonely figures.

[Image ID: Screenshot of the shadowed figures of Mami, Sayaka and Madoka crossing a stone bridge towards the left. On the edges of the screen, the city lamps are lined and insinuating the point of fugue. The blurry, dark building line can be observed in the background. Mami walks ahead of Sayaka and Madoka, who trail behind.]

The distance that never seems to close. If Mami is to appropriately act as their senpai, she must walk ahead of them. We know, of course, this causes incredibly pain. Observe how obscuring their figures in darkness makes the negative space between them stand out.

A witch’s domain.

Now, we’ve finally arrived to the reason why I wanted to do these write-ups to begin with: I thought challenging myself to interpret the witches’ Labyrinths could be quite fun, and then I stumbled upon the fact Madoka Magica is quite the rich show with lots to discuss about it. But I digress. I quite like the aesthetic of the Labyrinths, they have a collage look to them that could remind you of the collages of the early XX century, as explored by Picasso, Juan Gris and other vanguardists. You could even call them surrealist in the way they utilize mundane objects in a profoundly disorienting way, elevating them from their prosaicness into symbols of the witchly subconscious.

[Image ID: Picture of Juan Gris’collage made with cut-and-pasted wallpaper, newspaper, transparent paper, white laid paper, gouache, oil and wax crayon on canvas. It depicts a table with filled to the brim with coffee-drinking accessories. A fortuitous newspaper fragment provides the ready-made signature “GRIS” while the letters “OURN”, excerpted from the masthead of Le Journal, form a homophonic on “Juan”.]

Collage by Juan Gris: Título «Le petit déjeuner».

Once again wondering if I should read more about (vanguardist) art for the sake of this show.

Speaking in crude, overly simplistic terms, the vanguardists’ formal artistic exploration was a departure from the European academicist tradition. While the Impressionist movement already exposed a rift between Academy and Artist, it still sought to portray realistic, figurative impressions of the world. Post-impressionist artists such as Cezanne and Van Gogh pushed the treatment of color to exaggeration for the sake of a heightened subjectivity. Cubist art sought to challenge representational conventions through use of simultaneous perspectives that showed the static object in all of its different angles at the same time. One of the most famous surrealist paintings of all time, René Magritte’s The son of man, exemplifies his career-long questioning of the assumptions of representational art—what you see in the canvas is not the object but a symbolic representation of the object, and the symbol of the object does not represent the object but all the subconscious meaning imbued to it by the viewer. The painting exploits the quality of visible and hidden, and the search for what is hidden. 

It is, then, fitting that the Labyrinths seem to borrow vanguardist aesthetics, as they defy perceptions of reality— to begin with, they are crafted in entirely different stylistic conventions. The character designs and backgrounds outside of the Labyrinths favor bright, cool, uniform color with thin line-work, creating well defined and recognizable forms; the human characters are portrayed with slightly doll-like shapes while still favoring “realistic” proportions, and the backgrounds are represented in geometric perspective. While stylized, it’s a world that clearly echoes our own. The witches’ realm seem to discard all of this, operating on their own logic. There’s no sense of uniformity to its elements: some will appear as heavily-textured, flat magazine cutouts while others will appear as highly uncanny cgi objects. Most of its denizens hardly appear anthropomorphic, and when they do in some of the witches, they appear in cartoony proportions reminiscent to Fleisher era cartoons rather than 2010’s anime stylizations (at least in the case of Charlotte). Their bodies are either deceitful or incomprehensible. This seeming incongruence makes our heroines themselves appear alien against the uneven patchwork of this world. The witches’ realm seems to question their way of being just by its own aesthetics alone.

[Image id: Screenshot of Getrude’s Labyrinth. In the background, there’s backward stairs to the left edge, tilted columns of varying width with framed moustache pictures, an unreadable sign, and an upside down elevator going down to the right margin. The trio is on the middle ground towards the left. Sayaka is swinging her bat in the middle, Mami is holding guard of the left edge and Madoka is standing between them cradling Kyubey in her arms. The foreground is insinuated through the shadow silhouette of some tilted beams.]

Common sense is eschewed, and you get tilted walls and columns, upside down stairs, out-of-place elevators.

[Image Id: Screenshot of Mami and Madoka traversing a black space with no clear horizon line, in which the first half of it is like black mist transitioning to a really bright, white equally misty middle. The foreground is indicated by a layer of cgi medication bottles haphazardly floating, and so is the background behind them with more bottles looking smaller and blurrier.]

They’re places that seem to simultaneously exist as flat, two dimensional spaces and as tridimensional ones. They’re places that embody contradiction, and encoded in their corpus are distinctively feminine motifs (think of the rose garden, the cake and tea parties, the home décor, the high heels, etc) made alien through their unreal representation and co-existence with masculine motifs (such as the fake ‘staches and industrial/handiwork symbols). The national and the foreign coexist as part of a whole. They’re places that “don’t respect borders, positions, rules. They’re the in-between, the ambiguous, the composite[3]”. They’re geography made the monstrous-feminine.

[Image id: overheard shot an intersection in the middle with the girls turning right, there’s tall, rusty-copper-like buildings seemingly made out of metallic plates with doors randomly thrown in all over their body. To the foreground, on the wall insinuated the bottom edge, there’s vines or perhaps security wire.]

The alienating, featureless cityscape and the overtly adorned rose garden. The public sphere and the domestic realm exist without clear delimitations.

[Image id: The trio running towards the left over a metallic corridor with vines rose vines coming out of the ground and going towards the edges. In the background, there’s a collage-like semicircle that looks like a rose wallpaper wall crowned by some stairs, the wall is on top of a green patch with rose bed in the middle. In front of the rose bed, there’s a door adorned with curtains and the like.]

“The female body in the Japanese pop cultural imagination is routinely constructed as a site that is volatile, uncontainable, penetrable and penetrating, incorporating, excessively desirous, and unrelenting generative, demonstrating Creed’s[4] contention that the monstrous-feminine ‘signifies the primal uncanny, in that through her body everything that ‘ought to have remained secret and hidden… has come to light.’ Those things that patriarchal culture seeks to keep hidden involve man’s relationship to the animal world, the world of nature, woman, life, birth, decay, and death”:[5]

Far from aligning myself with the common detraction that Madoka Magica is bad because it’s perverted (like its main writer is), I think it’s interesting to note that witches do carry insinuations around female sexuality in the vampiric implications to the mark in the neck the witch’s kiss leaves behind. That it was left on a working woman insinuates anxieties around female homosexuality (the mobilization of sexual difference through the Monstrous-Feminine is also a common trope). I don’t really have enough to go by to form an interpretation, but it’ll be interesting to see how these element unfold.

Also, speaking of the world of nature, Gertrude body’s is not only not anthropomorphic (it could be argued she’s some sort of bush connected to a stomach?), but also features animalistic traits in the butterfly wings and her behavior.

[Image id: Screenshot to Getrude sitting in the middle of the frame, surrounded by roses on top of a green patch. Around her there’s several miscellaneous objects, like black bollards topped with sphere sporting black ‘staches, a framed butterfly, ladders, black plants, a fish placard, several other butterfly motifs, etc. Behind here, theres several curved layers creating a textured wall. They look like a metallic fence, fragment of wallpapers, concrete walls and other type of buildings.]

“The abject confronts us, on the one hand, with those fragile states where man strays on the territories of animal. Thus, by way of abjection, primitive societies have marked out a precise area of their culture in order to remove it from the threatening world of animals or animalism, which were imagined as representatives of sex and murder.”[6]

The fact that our resident, well-mannered senpai Mami, as an agent upholding social convention and model of femininity, is the one to defeat Gertrude, an animalistic, vermin-like presence in the rose garden, a space that could be constructed as the domestic realm, feels charged. I generally view the Labyrinths as spaces meant to challenge their perceptions of reality, in a much more extreme, destabilizing and disconcerting version of Madoka’s careful contemplation of differing viewpoints. The tensions brought to the surface in each Labyrinth then are dependent on who interacts in them, and as such, my view on Gertrude defeated by Mami is that of reflecting Mami’s certainty in the values she upholds. Even when her juniors catch her off guard, her home is impeccable and she has dessert and tea to offer them. Her maintenance of the home and social conventions aren’t threatened.

At least not in at this point of time, but her dialogue in Charlotte’s Labyrinth reveals a possible destabilizing contradiction. She tells to Madoka that being a magical girl is not desirable because “(Madoka) won’t have time to fall in love.” Their role as magical girls might then paint them as proto working-women, in conflict with their supposed belonging to the domestic sphere as “wives and mothers”. It might not be inappropriate to suggest that the blurring of public and private spaces in the witches’ realms might be articulating anxieties around working women.

A final note, more miscellaneous note on the nature of the witches and their Labyrinths comes in the form of the visuals for the defeated familiar in episode three. The vestiges left by it bring to mind pollen or perhaps viruses, and together with the vampiric implications of the mark of witch’s kiss, it might seem to paint witches as something contagious. I wonder if we’ll get into social contagion territory eventually.

[Image id: screenshot of brightly, multicolor, amorphous particles floating around against a black background with the faint outline of a grid at the very background. Some of the particles look like the popular image of viruses.]

[3] R. Dumas, The monstrous-Feminine in Contemporary Japanese Popular Culture, East Asian Popular Culture series, Palgrave McMillan,2018, P2

[4] Barbara Creed published in 1994 her essay The Monstrous-Feminine: Film, Feminism, Psychoanalysis. Her work is often cited in Dumas’ opening essay Open Wounds: Situating the Monstrous-Feminine in Cotemporary Japan to her book The Monstrous-Feminine in Contemporary Japanese Popular Culture. The quotes here included are from Creed’s 2005 book Phallic Panic: Film, Horror and the Primal Uncanny.

[5] Dumas, 2018, 17

[6] Julia Kristeva, Leon S. Roudiez, Powers of Horror, an essay on Abjection, Columbia University Press, 1982, 12-13

Mami the girl.

Last time, I discussed the fact Mami wanted to appear as their put-together, helpful upperclasswoman, as a more adult guide to their wet-behind-the-ears candidness. Her fight against the witch’s familiar in episode three confirmed my suspicions. She does an explicit effort to appear cool, to answer their questions so that they can carefully weigh their decision— even when it touches on her open wounds— and to advise Sayaka against helping others just to feed on her own ego. She goes above and beyond to be a proper senpai to them.

[Image id: Close up to Mami’s face. She’s smiling and winking while tilting her head slightly. The lighter from her finishing gun is visible and going off. She’s in her magical girl outfit.]

Episode three, however, also shows the crack behind the façade, starting by Mami’s troubled past. If being “a child is demarcated by characteristics such as innocence, naivety (…) and vulnerability”[7], then Mami is forced to be more adult-like following the accident and her subsequent metamorphosis into a magical girl. Mami’s seeming maturity is, then, abruptly forced upon her rather than gradually grown into. Her vulnerability (she’s literally mortally wounded and also all alone with the loss of her family and lack of any other external support network) in the moment to make the contract puts her in the spot and forces her to accept Kyubey’s offer. As a result, she’s denied the luxuries afforded to Madoka and Sayaka. She’s denied to show any of her weaknesses and pain to others. To grow up is to lose something. The loneliness she exhibits as their role model is not solely stemming from her position as their upperclasswoman but her quality as a magical girl itself.

Further fractures into the image she wishes to project to the world are brought to light through her confrontation with Homura. Her politeness, supposed mark of her preference for unity and peaceful negotiation, is more markedly shown as a tool to express her aggression through thinly-veiled threats and nasty condescension. The visuals play with this obliqueness of hers. When Homura is upfront about accusing her of leading Sayaka and Madoka into danger and her desire to prevent Madoka from forming any contract, her face is shown in a mid-light value, while Mami’s face is markedly shadowed in her taunting retort.

[Image ID: Bust of Homura with the night sky on the background and some lamps lighting from behind. She’s dimly lit (with very readable shapes). She has a serious expression on her face. Her dialogue reads: “She is the one person I absolutely cannot allow to make the contract.”]

[High-angle shot of Mami’s bust. She’s looking up,smiling defiantly and cast in dim shadows. Behind her, only the grey stone of the plaza ground is visible. Her dialogue reads: “That’s the way a bullied child thinks.”]

Conversely, when Mami is clear about her warnings to Homura, she’s showered in light, while Homura’s reticence to be clear about her intentions has cast her in hard shadows.

[Image id: Extreme close up to Homura’s face, which is about 75% cast stark shadows with sharp lighting on the right side of her face, the right side of her nose and her left cheekbone. Her expression is harsh.]

[Image id: High-angle shot of Mami standing upright and smiling while standing in a dark plaza. She’s well-lit by the lamps around her. Her dialogue reds: “Then take care to ensure that our paths never cross again.”]

Mami shows discomfort at Homura’s accusations, but shields herself in the justification that since Madoka and Sayaka have been chosen, they’re not innocent bystanders anymore, and thus involved in this whole business.

A common thread within the show seems to be the embodying of contradictions and ambiguity, of identities in flux. Homura is both a hostile, antagonistic party and someone who sincerely wishes to shield them from tragedy. Mami is both protecting them and luring them into danger. Sayaka is both more pragmatic than Madoka and more immaturely simplistic. Madoka is both idealistically naïve and sagaciously capable of contemplating and contending with uncomfortable, conflicting feelings and viewpoints. The instable, disorienting nature of the Labyrinths would seem to heighten these tensions and paradoxes to the point of collapse.

Charlotte’s Labyrinth exploits the disparate, showing a composite of medical motifs combined with the (feminine) domestic realm: bottles of pills (filled with candy), piercing objects ranging from the sewing needles and scissors (of a sewing kit) and the syringes of the clinical setting (it pains me to write this, but you could make a point to call these penetrating needles phallic). The hospital as a workplace and a public facility juxtaposed to the sewing kit and the desserts motifs (that slowly morph into being vaguely birthday themed through the cake with candles and the tea party) showing the private. The mature bleakness from medical setting vs the childish happiness and flippancy from the party. The visible and the hidden.

It is within this space that Mami finally admits to her “adult” self-assuredness and competency being a façade through a fit of oversharing. It is not a considered reckoning of her own weaknesses as much as an impulsive, resentful reaction to Madoka’s idealism. Her vulnerable confession—its climax is literally a promise of forming a new coupled partnership with Madoka’s unending support. You could say: a promise of true love and acceptance outside the social system— is accompanied by a bevy of pills raining down in the background. The contradictory strikes again: even though pills are meant to heal, their cascading number evokes suicide. Even though it’s a moment that should’ve resolved some of her internal tensions and healed some of her pain, it instead spells her death. Mami launches to her hunt of the witch in a euphoric state, clinging at the first offer of happiness she gets; much like the recklessness she warns her juniors against when it comes to their contract with Kyubey. All of her talks of post-hunt celebrations seem to mirror the childishness of Charlotte’s realm. She jumps into action recklessly without assessing the situation, in contrast to Homura’s measured, methodic approach later on. Perhaps one could read her defeat here as her failure to acknowledge and reconcile with the fact her roles as a magical girl and senpai aren’t mutually exclusive with her own childishness, her ideals aren’t without hypocrisy and harm, and so on.

[Image Id: Close up to Mami’s outstretched hand in front of her middle, with her palm up. In the center of her hand, a ring glows, and around it petals emerge in the form of a daisy.]

In Hanakotoba, daisies symbolize hope and peace.

Her death reveals further fissures to the idea of “growing up (as) wedded to ideals of collective progress, as the child’s journey towards both adulthood and futurity (…) through continual progress”. [8] This failure to eventual realization brings in questioning Mami’s experience as a magical girl— one in which Mami does a service to society at large, but at the cost of finding herself unsupported and isolated by the very need to produce these communal results. Her death epitomizes the harm this contradiction creates, the impossibility for the child to live a future when her growing up is always functionally at service of others (Also Madoka’s flaw?)

[7] Balanzategui,2018, 10.

[8] Balanzategui,2018, 14.

Miscellaneous.

My friend asked me my thoughts about the first opening (I’m expecting a new one on the fourth chapter) and first two endings. So here’s that.

Ending 1 (See you tomorrow by Aoi Yuuki): I find this one really amusing because 1) It’s sung by Madoka’s seiyuu, and 2) she sounds like a baby. It sounds really cutesy overall, so the whiplash with the lyrics is very pmmm-like lol Lyrics about loneliness and feeling alienated in your hometown and never seeing someone again. Which could mean nothing.

Opening song (Connect by ClariS): Now, this one does communicate the melancholic vibe through the sound and singing, and despite the cute, cheerful adventure vignettes, it does have some pensive Madoka scenes. I like it, the lyrics reflecting that yearning for “a start”, and the promise of perseverance. Feels very Madoka.

Ending 2 (Magia by Kalafina): This one is pretty cool, I like Madoka’s silhouette walking past the static figures of her friends and leaving them behind towards an unending darkness, where she breaks into a run. The final image having her in fetal position as an eye open combined with the heavy drumming and the bells tolling create such a feeling of impending doom, it’s so great. I’m a little amused the lyrics talk about world-destroying love and a thirst for power, it’s cool.

Afterword.

Firstly, a thanks to my friend, you know who you are, who read the endless updates to this document as I kept working on it. I don’t think I’d have finished it without the encouragement.

Secondly, I ended up excising a few points from this write-up, namely observations on the intro scenes with Sayaka and Kamijō, on the framing between Sayaka and Madoka right before they venture into Charlotte’s Labyrinth and on Madoka’s talk with her father and her construction as an ideal. Mostly because I got tired of working on this, but also because it has gotten quite long and I couldn’t quite fit them with the themes of the present sections. I’ll probably include them in the write-up for episode four.

[insightfuldoggy]

Shinobu stomped through the murky streets of Tokyo, a more rundown area, her steps were muffled by the sound of heavy rainfall, and the chaos it caused felt pretty accurate to how she felt... shivering, cold, half dressed... she didn't even put on her socks, she wore no overcoat, and her shorts were stained... none of that mattered at the dead of night, because she rushed out full of concern and terror due to a phone call she received.

[Don't eat any junk food in the next few weeks, they'll be poisoned.] Was the gist of what Kyoko had told her.

She sounded... scary, assured in a way that she never heard before, it sounded empty, violent, and malicious, a venom dripping from her vocal chords, and if she had to guess why... it'd probably be the fact Kyoko alone attended three funerals, all of them Shinobu opted not to show up to.

Up until now she didn't really... think about how they haven't really hung out in almost a year, maybe even more? And how, while she had Shiranui, Makigumo, and recently Yababa for support, Kyoko had no one, she was left completely alone to mourn three of her friends, and probably felt abandoned as she did.

Shinobu grimaced as she entered the club, it was closed, but not locked, the music was on, but the chatter and ambience was... added ontop, artificially, to simulate activity where there was none, it was eery to say the least...

No one was around, so she had to find Kyoko the scary way… waddling nervously through the ghost club, defenseless as can be, she went into the counter and to the kitchen, empty as well… but full of prepared dishes, and on the island? A suitcase of vials… different poisons, made anonymously… Shinobu snapped a picture on her cellphone and saved it to the cloud… she probably could ask Miyabi and Makigumo to look further into it.

She closed the suitcase and left the kitchen, going to the only other place Kyoko could likely be…

Climbing stair after stair heading towards the manager’s office, Shinobu heard a familiar tune coming muffled through the closed door… an old song, belonging to Happy Around, from the last idol competition they participated in… they won, Peaky P-Key lost, but it was a wonderful time all around, and Kyoko listening to it reinforced her failure as a friend, making her know all the more she’s at fault for Kyoko’s state.

Slowly opening the door, she saw Kyoko sat on her chair, blankly rewatching the last performance of the band that was now all but deceased.

Kyoko didn’t notice Shinobu, and so the pinkette cleared her throat, to which she was met almost immediately after with the barrel of a pistol aimed right at her by the Brunette, staring blankly still.

Shinobu raised her hand, eyes widening in a panic as she fought to stay calm with her friend pointing a deadly weapon at her… and after a moment she spoke. “K-Kyoko… I saw the poisons, the vials…” She said, voice shaky and afraid.

“Pretty great, aren’t they? I figured out the dosage finally, gonna make sure everyone’s fat and happy by the time I’m done.” A grin appeared on her face, the same friendly and relaxed grin she often had, twisted and warped by the horrific situation.

“Y-you’re… w-what the fuck? Why? W-why are you fattening people up? W-why are you POISONING them?” Shinobu couldn’t help but question, she was confused, scared, worried and upset all at one… and without lowering the gun, Kyoko explained, very willingly… seemed like she was itching to share her plan even.

“Think about it, Rei, Rinku and Muni, what do they have in common? They all ate themselves to death, when you think about it, it’s pretty obvious why, ain’t it? They got tired of being thin for approval, and reeled too far in the other direction, murdered by a society that demonizes obesity, so I’m gonna fix it, make everyone in Japan fat, and eliminate thinness.” She explained, confident, cool, and composed… and Shinobu could only stare… everything she felt before was gone in place of sheer bafflement, this was probably the dumbest most cartoony plan she ever heard…

“Kyoko what the fuck are you talking about? They ate themselves to death because they were INTO it! It was a fetish! W-wha— HOW did you figure that fucking thing out?! And how did you—“ 

BANG!

Her criticisms were stopped with the loudest bang she’s ever heard, the gun firing just a bit above her, causing her ears to ring and her face to whiten in terror, taking every ounce of her mental strength not to run away by instinct alone.

“It’s not fucking stupid! I’m… I’m FIXING this fucked up world that took my friends away! You didn’t even… you… ugh… why am I bothering…” Kyoko sighed, placing the gun on the table and leaning back in her chair, a flicker of tears in her eyes, a sign there was still some of her former best friend under this visage.

Shinobu felt a crushing guilt wash over her, if she had just… gotten her head out of her ass, and stopped pitying herself, Kyoko wouldn’t be so alone… instead she selfishly focused on herself, and this was the result… she should have just killed herself when she had the chance, but now there were bigger worries.

She had just learned about it, and she could tell Kyoko would not shoot her… probably. In keeping with that logic, Shinobu began approaching Kyoko, who instantly picked the gun back up and pointed it as Shinobu, shouting at the pinkette to back away.

And yet, Shinobu didn’t… she couldn’t, she had to come closer, Kyoko called her in the dead of night… and she doubted it was as an actual warning, it was probably, unbeknownst to her even, a call she made to Shinobu as a cry for help before she did something she could never come back from.

Shinobu came closer and closer towards Kyoko, ignoring the gun trained on her chest and instead focusing on Kyoko’s eyes, growing more and more reluctant and scared, until she finally reached the brunette… gun not fired, eyes lacking commitment, expression tired and lonely.

Wordlessly the pinkette wrapped her hands around Kyoko, pulling her in for a hug, feeling relieved when the gun slammed against the floor, and the hug was reciprocated by Kyoko, who squeezed as tightly as she could, bursting into tears as she did.

“I know you feel… like you don’t deserve help Kyoko… but you didn’t do it yet… you called me… y-you’re still innocent, and you deserve help, not punishment…”

Kyoko didn’t respond, instead she just kept balling her eyes out, floodgates that were so easily burst open at the first sign of care… it just showed how neglected Kyoko felt, and how horrible Shinobu was for neglecting her.

The crying would continue for hours, before subsiding slowly into sniffles and whimpers, and Shinobu petting her head, softly reassuring her they’d work everything out later…

[karereiko]

I watched Musicals of Moriarty (Op1-3) and those were amazing, everything I wished anime had in matter of plot and characters was there. And no I don’t mean Truck of the sherliam that Musicals have (it’s nice add and I love it, but if they didn’t go so hard for it I would be still happy) because it had what I think was important in manga, small details of story and characters that made me love Moriarty so much now. Like the matter of taxes in Durham and how William fixed it right away to help poor, overworked people living there. I really don’t like how anime makes him for first few episodes “the devil” who only whispers on others ears and pushes them to kill and he himself doesn’t dirty his hands. He always put himself on the first line of his plans, like with “Kidnapping of noble” chapter, he kills Albert’s brother on his own etc. Like how Baskerville arc was SO important for Louis, Fred and Moran characters. Like in anime because of lack of it you can change those three to any other characters and it wouldn’t matter. Miss Hutson is amazing in musicals, gosh, poor women, how she didn’t get a stroke or heart attack yet I don’t know XD and musical doesn’t skip on that scene between her and Irene with dress that I found quite funny when I first read it in manga and thought this adds a lot to both women characters. 

You know you did wrong when your anime has less action scenes then musical... Like really, the person who did script for anime did so many strange changes to plot and cut so many important ones while adding own one it's crazy and I have no idea why it happened.

As for character, the best from the start was Sherlock for me, he’s amazing.  I think Liam's one was little too stiff and not enough emotional in Op1-2 but in Op3 he finally is perfect Liam, smiling, hurting, sassy and I think his vocal got better. As for other characters they were amazing too. I only couldn’t get used to William and Albert but only because their anime saiyuus did so amazing job. Louis had the best vocal at the start I think. From songs I think the middle one in Op2 made most impression for me, I need to rewatch it and remember names of songs for future. The “Catch me if you can” scene in the musical was the only one weaker I think in compare to anime and manga, but when at the end of Op2 they come back to theme “Catch me” it did earned a few points back in my eyes. And wow Op3 songs were so much longing of William and Sherlock to each other it’s just wow, I didn’t think they will go so hard for it and I’m not complaining. I guess Op4 focuses more on Whiteley and John&Mary arcs so probably there is not so much sharliam there, but if Op3 was like this then I can image how hard they will go with William visit at Sherlock’s place, letter and bridge scene. And I will only need Op6 with hospital and marriage vows to die happy XD.

ps. If anyone knows if it’s possible to pay and see Op4 somewhere online, please let me know. Buying stuff from Japan is always very expensive for me because of shipping cost, if I can avoid it the I would gladly watch it this way.

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

PJO TV SHOW (and book) SPOILERS beneath cut!!!!!

What follows is simply a bunch of my nonsensical responses to the first 2 episodes in no particular order; I really cannot explain that any other way I’m afraid

“Whose side are you on?” “Hers, always. She’s my little sister” JUST RIP OUT MY HEART WHY DON’T YOU

Mythomagic. Mythomagic. Mythomagic.

Sally saying not everyone who looks like a hero is a hero and not everyone who looks like a monster is a monster - THE FORESHADOWING??? THE REFERENCE TO BOOKS THAT ARENT EVEN BEING ADAPTED YET IM LOSING MY MIND - Also, the justice for Medusa in this was absolutely gorgeous and so well done because it didn’t black and white anyone as just a hero or just a villain but very well highlighted the woven and layered morality of a very complex web of stories, personally I’m mostly a Medusa defender but give me a good quality, well written Perseus retelling and you could probably convince me otherwise I think the point of many of these stories is that there is never a true victor and nothing is ever as easy to understand as a hero and a monster. I’m getting distracted now but hey let’s keep going, I really love Stone Blind by Natalie Haynes, which very strongly labels Perseus as the monster and Medusa as the victim, but I also think there is an argument that Danaë’s plight was diminished/overlooked in it and I would be open to hearing opposing views on that. Since I’m in this tangent I should add I don’t study classics I am just a fan, so I’m not the expert and would generally expect others to know more than me so get it out there I’m eager to learn. Anyway, Percy Jackson (sorry for the tangent)

Percy saying he thinks he’s made real friends I WANT TO CRY

They softened Gabe up quite a bit, or at least I thought they did maybe you guys think otherwise, but I wonder how his death will come across in this case(????)

I actually really like that they had Annabeth clock who Percy’s father was and push him into the water instead of it being Clarisse shoving him into the creek and stumbling upon it by accident, because it really heightened that idea of her being six steps ahead

I think the conflict between Grover and Percy was interesting and I’m intrigued as to how easily it’s resolved with the quest coming up, and on that point am I right that Sally making Grover swear to protect Percy was a new addition? Because I’m guessing that if the conflict between them is still heightened then that’s going to be the logical reason Grover uses to get into the quest, but also they made a big deal out of that and I kept expecting her to request he swear it on the Styx but she didn’t, I wonder if it was meant to be implied (?) or maybe I’m just reading into it

There was less Annabeth screen time than I was expecting but every second she was on screen was PERFECTION

The casting could literally l not have been better I love them all omg

I was kind of surprised they didn’t confirm Percy’s dyslexia and ADHD in the first episode and instead had Luke mention it because I always thought that Percy had already been diagnosed long beforw he call to camp but maybe I misremembered that (?)

THE D’ANGELO REFERENCE YES - like I know it wasn’t about them but it has to be intentional right?

The blink and you miss it Kane Chronicles reference amused me I haven’t actually read all of the Kane Chronicles yet but I really should

WAS THAT BLACKJACK!!!!!??????

I’m guessing that mechanical monster Percy saw out the window was reference to the bulls in book three sorry I can’t remember what they’re called, and with that the doodles in his notebook YES!!! I noticed a cyclops, Medusa, the minatour, and what I think might have been the hydra but I haven’t rewatched yet so stay tuned for possible correction on that lol

I love camp so much! The cabins are incredible and the interior of the Hermes is so much nicer than I imagined whilst still maintaining a kind of overcrowded atmosphere, I love it.

“You are Poseidon’s son” “I am Sally Jackson’s son” y’all don’t understand I almost screamed oh my good lord yes yes yes yes yes

Also, sassy Percy

[chipthekeeper]

Andor S1 Rewatch Commentary - Episode 7

sorry to be almost a full week late but it's fine, we have a very special edition of commentary because @e-the-village-cryptid was IN THE ROOM sitting right by me!!!! so this is unhinged a bit and way too long but deal with it

*both of us just quoting everything in the Previously On*

C: Eat shit, Timm!

C: *groaning about Aldhani crew* I miss my boys :( look at ‘em!

*lots of groaning and squealing in general*

E: Do we only start recording once the recap is over? C: Oh it’s already on E: Oh! *both cackling*

*as the recap shows Nemik getting crushed* E: oh nononono C: uuughhh he’s so crunchyyyy

C: owww I hurt my back bouncing…

C: you can sit on the couch if you want, that looks very uncomfortable E: no I’m having–this is how I perch

C: I’m…just gonna sit here and sweat, I don’t know why I’m still drinking my hot coffee

E: The theme for this episode makes me insane, the way they brought Luthen’s theme into it as it like, spreads C: Oh. I was just about to say this is much less adventurous than the last three eps E: No but like, wait for it. Because……train whistle! Luthen’s train whistle! C: k

C: *fart noise as Syril appears* E: Why do we have to see his stupid face so much? C, lying: I’m gonna leave that out of the commentary

C: I find it highly improbable that these two sit around with the tv on during breakfast but okay

*when Yularen starts speaking* C: Here’s where I freaked out the first time because you could see his name and I know that name and I was like ‘oh my god show me him!!! Show me!!!' And they don’t show him

C: You’re being a very bad spy right now Kloris. You have to go inside

E: Luthen you should make your lips less readable

*both of us doing ‘they may reshedule’ and then giggling*

“It grows or it dies” E: ‘Systems either change or die.’ I didn’t know that systems either change or die was in the same episode as that C: yeah, I can’t wait to see those two (Dedra and Luthen) in the same scene E: Oh man. Do you even think that’s going to happen? C: That’s why I wanted it to be Dedra holding the knife in that one [trailer] shot. Like she’s there, she’s onto him. That’s why they have to blow that shit up

C: FLOB!!!!!! E: Hi Flob! C: He’s walking soooo slowly *giggling* This is his Flobbiest look

C: Mouse droid! Watch it! E: Me when there’s a grocery store robot C: There’s a WHAT E: Grocery store robots. Do they not have those in Missouri? C: That’s the most insane thing I’ve ever heard!! You have robots in the grocery store?!? E: Yeah! C: ….WHY?!!? E: I don’t even know what they do, they just wander around C: *incredulously* what…. E: And they like don’t know how to not bump into you, so they’re just like *robot noise i guess?* C: ……….we need to talk about this later, Kleya is strutting

E: I’m now imagining Vel there like drawing with chalk on the floor C: Yeah I have always liked to imagine that

*Dedra scares Felzonis* C: I would PISS myself E: He did!

*Cinta getting her speeder thingy ready* C: This is a space I need to see more of. Like what’s down in there— E: I wanna climb in the Hobbit hole!!!! Is that too much to ask? C: Apparently so

E: Hi Kleya! C: *groaning* I love how she….stops when she sees Vel. Like….why? Why that! E: they’re SUCH exes C: I’m gonna chew my finger off …. E: She’s standing just a little too close C: Like…there’s no one else here, what are you doing E: Literally…….the eye contact! …. *Kleya hand waving the team dying* C: PISS OFF, KLEYA!!! E: She’s just trying to piss Vel off, like it’s deliberate. She’s challenging her Vel: “have you heard from Cinta?” C: *strangled groan* E: The way she can’t even look her in the eye!!! C: Oh goddddd….yeah, no eye contact for that question. That’s always made me insane E: I’ve never quite realized just how much Kleya is intentionally trying to piss Vel off C: it’s not hard E: She goes low, real quick (episode is paused somewhere in all this) C: Yeah like, ‘oh those guys you spent five months out there with? Yeah. we’ll remember them. Sure’ E: And Skeen one less thing to worry about. She just keeps going C: And that’s something that Vel is obviously worrying about. Because she’s like ‘he wouldn’t do that’ but now she has to think about that and Kleya’s just like not worried about that and Vel’s like ‘I am worried about that’ because either I read him wrong completely or this other guy just killed somebody that I trusted E: Yeah. Neither option’s good. And Kleya says that on a different beat from the ‘Nemik, Gorn, they’ll all be remembered,’ like…she says that first, sees Vel’s reaction, and then just keeps this going C: Just plunges the knife further E: Twists the knife, like she wants a reaction SO BAD. They’re SUCH exes! C: It’s so messy. I love it

*general screeching, giggling at Kleya’s sexy line delivery*

E: Hey Cinta, your space motorbike is so cool C: It’s so stupid actually

*Maarva wakes up cocking her blaster* C: She just sleeps with that thang on

C: ‘since when do we lock the door?’ bro!! E: You got shot at the last time you were here!

C: His proud little grin and his hand on his hip. I did it!! I got all the money!!

C: For as much as I complain about Maarva, I do love her in this episode E: Yeah. She’s a complex character. I don’t hate her, I just wish that people would acknowledge that she’s not universally 100% purely good C: Right. I want people to be normal about her, one way or another

C: I love how Tay’s fully in the middle of a conversation and then he’s like ‘nope, go away’

*pause for argument about the ‘three people in the galaxy’ that know Mon’s secret*

E: Perrin talking up a different group of women every time we see him

C: I always love that Tay is like ‘i’m really radical now’ and Mon’s like ‘I’m literally funding the rebellion’ E: Me talking to liberal family members C: *says nothing because I have no liberal family members*

*more squealing and general talk of goosebumps during Mon’s big moment*

“Perhaps you’ll find my politics a bit strong for your taste” C: Scalped him

C: ‘It was ever thus.’ I say that a lot for some reason E: It’s so quotable C: Like, no person talks that way, but now I do

*pause for theory about Bix dreaming that Cassian climbed over the wall*

*cassian questioning why Timm thought they were back together* E: Because you kept chasing her around and trying to grab her hand and stuff? C: You were being a little grabby, bud

“It’s overdue and probably doomed, and I’m too old, and I don’t care anymore” E: Such good delivery on that C: It’s almost like Fiona Shaw is a really good actor

E: The fact that he comes home with a boatload of money the day after a big robbery and you don’t even have like a little question in your mind of like hmmm maayyybe…. C: It’s a big galaxy!

C: *sobbing* those are my guys!!!! Those brave heroes, those are my guys!!!!! *groans*

*both of us do the sad noise Bee makes* C: We can even quote the sad chirping

C: The first time watching this episode it was like, how did they make–how did they go from that heist episode to just something…an episode where “nothing happens” but it’s still better and more exciting? E: This is one of my favorite episodes C: Yeah, it’s so good! I can’t— E: The web. It’s like, we have all these threads and now we just start weaving them

C: Hmmmm……is Lagret suspicious of Lonni? E: I don’t know…. C: That was a weird little shot of him— E: Or maybe it was just like a ‘I’m glad it’s you, not me’ (getting yelled at)

E: Oh she’s psyched. She’s grinning C: She’s about to bounce in her seat

E: He’s such a grad school advisor who loves when people get into fights at his seminar C: *chuckles in never went to grad school*

“And as always, I salute the provocative exchange of ideas” C: I need to start saying that at meetings

C: She’s like ‘I get to walk with Dad and you don’t, ha ha ha!’ And everybody else just awkwardly sitting there like ‘what the fuck?’

C: *snaps fingers* Cue the music! *continues finger snapping to the beat and dancing as E keeps talking about previous scene*

*we just keep going KEEEEEF!*

C: I thought, first watch, this music was so weird that I was like, ‘is he having a weird dream???’ E: It is weird C: The music was so weird and then “K2” shows up and I was like ‘what the FUCK is happening?’ I thought the entire end of this episode was a dream— E: REALLY?! C: –until like, the VERY end E: Andor wouldn’t do that C: I know! That’s why I was SO. FUCKING. CONFUSED. I was like what the ACTUAL FUCK is happening?? E: Just ‘cause of the vibes? And the music? C: Yeah the music was so weird and just—none of this made any sense E: I mean, this makes sense. It’s just troopers racially profiling people C: I…I guess it was mostly, like, 90% the music was so weird E: I definitely was confused by the music before I realized it was two separate things. It was part the music and part the alarms blaring and they were layered over each other in a way that made it sound really like, strange…….I will say yeah, the presence of the K2 droid does make it very strange C: Yeah, because I knew they weren’t bringing actual K2 into this season, so I was like, ‘so what the f—’ I was just, completely baffled, I had no idea what was happening…..It was a little bit surreal E: It is surreal when you put the K2 in the background and then the weird space Miami music. And the one shot where the guy runs out and the arm just yanks him back while he’s still kicking, that was very much like ‘what is happening?’ C: I was so disoriented, I was like ‘I have no idea what I’m watching all of a sudden’ E: It’s also like, how does he get out of this without being choked to death? …. C: This was weird too. We’re just straight up, eating pistachios. And I was trying to read that on the card and none of that made sense

“KEEF GIRGO!” C: ‘oh shit, that’s me. I have a dumb ass name’ E: ‘oopsie, why’d I give myself that name?’ Queef Girgo C: Don’t—you can’t say that out loud

C: Here’s where it started to feel real. But then you hear six years and you go ‘well. That’s not happening because in five years he’s DEAD’

C: This is very Severance. The work is mysterious and important

E: It goes so fast! C: I say that after every episode

C: Well that’s gonna be a lot….Any parting words for the commentary? E: This show’s so good, man C: IT’S SO GOOD!!