#three funny thing is both of these processes happen at the same time and i never learn

[metamatar]

me registering for classes: wow this sounds so cool and interesting man maybe i should take more and harder classes

me at the end of term when everything is due: who made this schedule

[hickeysgodcomplex]

"Do you think Eddie likes me?" The question leaves Steve's mouth absently, like an afterthought. Wayne watches his shoulders tense as he holds the cabnet door up. His eyes are on the floor. His cheeks going red. Wayne hums genlty, trying not to laugh in Steve's face. If he only knew.

Instead he sits with the question for a moment, keeps working, tightening the screws till they're snug. He nods at Steve, he lets go. Wayne swings the door back and forth a few times. No squeaks. And it doesn't fall off into his hands. He and Steve both nod at the same time, satisfied, Steve's hands dropping to his hips.

"Does he bite you?" Wayne asks, trying to sound as thoughtful as Steve had with his question. Steve stares at him. Wayne raises his eyebrows.

"Eddie. Does he ever bite you?" He repeats, giving Steve a pointed look.

"Oh! Um.. he... yeah? S-sometimes." Steve stammers a bit, his brow furrowing as he rubs at the back of his neck. And then his hand falls to his shoulder. And then drops by his side and clenches. Wayne smiles.

"You ever heard'a cuteness aggression?" Wayne asks, putting his tools back into their box and stashing it on top of the fridge. Steve shakes his head and frowns again. Wayne nods, motions for the small table and sits, Steve following him and sitting across from him.

"Well what I understand of it, and I'm getting this information from Eddie so... take it as you will." Steve smiles, a knowing look passing his face as he nods, and yeah, this kid has it bad for his boy.

"It's when someone thinks something is so cute it makes them violent. And Ed's got it bad. Took him ages to get it under control. What do you think happened to Gilberts ear?" Wayne nods toward the couch where their chunky brown tabby cat is napping. He looks up at the mention of his name and meows inquisitively.

"Oh my god what?!" Steve gasps, his hand jumping to cover his mouth. Wayne snorts.

"I'm just messin with ya kid. He was like that when Ed found him." Wayne smiles. Steve looks at him, straight faced, unimpressed. One of Eddie's favorite looks to wax poetic about.

"Very funny." He says dryly. Wayne chuckles, taps his hand on the table and says,

"I thought so. Anyway, point is. If that boy's teeth have sunk into you at some point. Odds are he likes ya just fine." Wayne smiles warmly, watches the gears turning in Steve's head, his brow furrowing and then relaxing as his mouth drops open in a little "O".

"So he'd say yes. If I- I mean if I wanted to-" he watches Steve swallow nervously.

"If you asked him out. Yes. I believe he would say yes." Wayne just watches Steve, takes a sip of his coffee. Steve nods to himself.

"Okay. Okay cool. I can do this. Awesome. Thank you!" He'd stood, hands wiping at his thighs, patting down his pockets, looking for his keys, before startling and turning back to Wayne to thank him.

"They're on the table by the door. And you're welcome son." He took another sip.

"And Steve?" He calls as Steve's hand hits the door, the boy turns to look at him, wide eyed.

"Yeah?"

"He can be a little... dense. When it comes to these things. Best to be forward. To the point." Wayne nods again, gives Steve a knowing look. Watches as his head tilts like a puppy as he processes.

"Forward. To the point. Okay. I got this." Steve said, nodding, to himself really, before darting out the door.

Wayne shakes his head, smiles as he cleans out his coffee cup and hopes that he'd done right by his boy. He couldn't take much more of Eddie's love sick puppy eyes. And Steve had been doing them for a few months now as well, and it was all too much. It had to be done.

~*~

Three hours later the trailer door slams open and Eddie rushes in. Steve hot on his heels, hand locked in Eddie's as he drags him down the hall.

"Evening boys." Wayne says, nonchalant, from his place near the stove, leaning against the counter.

"Hi Wayne!" Steve calls, happy and polite.

"No!" Eddie says, points at Steve aggressively and then to Wayne.

"No more talking! You two have talked enough today!" He half yells, and then drags Steve into his room, both of them laughing. His door slams shut. And then promptly opens again. Eddie bounds into the little kitchen, right into Wayne's space, and nearly tackles him in a tight hug.

Wayne squeezes him back, feels Eddie's lips press gently against his shoulder and then he's gone. Twirling away from his uncle's hold.

"Thanks Wayne." He says, his eyes bright and shining, his cheeks dimpled with happiness, and, right along his jaw, the imprint of teeth. A bitemark. Right on his face.

Wayne nods, and smiles as Eddie disappears into his room again. He can hear them talking and laughing through the wall as he makes dinner. Dinner for three now. As it has been for months.

He cooks. And he thinks. Three hours later and Steve still had to bite him to get his point across. Wayne shakes his head, smiling as he breaks the noodles and tosses them into the water, happy that his boys were finally happy.

[measlyfurball13]

I'm Still Here

Summary: Curly is rescued. He is given a voice. Supposedly.

---

It’s all a blur. Men in suits with helmets. Men in suits without. Any memories Curly might have of the rescue and its aftermath are blurred around the edges. He’s sure he drooled and screamed all through the process.

Funny. He doesn’t remember the pain. It’s as if his mind has painted over it in an easier color on the eyes. 

(He remembers her saying the same thing happens after childbirth-)

It’s only a few hours after the IV is jammed into his arm that reality crisps up again. He’s staring into the face of a nurse. The nurse is a he, and a different skin tone (than him) and utterly unrecognizable. That’s the first clue.

The second is the woman in the crisp suit. A lawyer, supposedly. Civil servant. Looking over him and sighing. Another woman enters and they discuss conservatorship. Curly doesn’t know what this means. He’s never had to worry about it. He grunts, even tries to form his lips into the shape of something, but nothing makes them turn to him and clue him in on anything. 

Next comes someone dressed in a slouched sweater pulling a cart. They’re setting up some sort of device around him. It takes several days though, and in the moments between the lawyer comes back, mutters a few things about an accident investigation, then disappears again.

The nurse usually doesn’t talk when he visits but one time he sits down in the chair across the room and solemnly says that both of Curly’s parents died in the time it took for the rescue team to find him and that his next of kin is a cousin. Cousin Sue, Curly guesses. She lived all the way in New York. 

The machine is completed. A screen hangs above his hospital bed. The person in the slouched sweater instructs him to look at the twenty-six letters on the screen, focus on the one he wants, and blink to select it. 

It takes him three hours to first produce the word “HELLO.” 

“Practice and you’ll get the hang of it.” Slouched sweater says.

Slouched sweater leaves. The nurse comes in. Moves the screen. Changes his bandages. Sets up the screen again. Leaves just before Curly can type “HELLO” to him. 

(A single word. A single word. He would have given anything for just a single word to her.)

Now the lawyer drags the chair beside his bed and sits down. She’s holding a notepad and a pen. 

“Tell me,” she says, slowly, “what happened aboard the Tulpar.” 

He forgets to breathe. 

“What,” she says, “caused,” she says, “the accident?” 

Words pierce his brain like knives, his eye darts around the keyboard and his eyelid can’t keep up and it blinks without his command. Letters spill across the screen and he’s having to backspace them and-

The lawyer has put down the notepad and has opened her phone. She’s texting someone else. Then she takes a call. Then she answers some emails. 

-Curly finally blinks ‘send’ on the console, and a tinny voice reads out “JIMMY.” 

“Hmm?” The lawyer looks up from her phone. “Jimmy? As in, your co-pilot?” 

“Y” Curly sends, hoping that the lawyer can at least wrap her head around something as simple as that.

“Go on.” The lawyer urges.

Curly exhales against his bandages, and types “E” and “S”. 

“What about him?” 

“K”. Then “I”. “L” and “L”, the lawyer is pulling out her phone again. His eye hurts, it’s refusing to move at all now and this dumb bitch isn’t-

He flinches. God, he’s so sorry. He’s so sorry and she deserved none of this and maybe if he’d been a better man and not a goddamned coward and taken some responsibility then maybe she’d be listening to him right now instead.

The lawyer glances up from her phone. “Yes, Jimmy was found deceased. Your cryo pod was the only one functioning. It seems he gave up his spot for you. My condolences for your loss.” 

Something more burning than the fire rips through his stomach and he forces his eye back onto the screen. “E” and “D”, then space, then “E”, then “V”, “E” and “R”, “Y”, his vision is wavering, “O”, “N”, he can practically feel his non-existent hand tapping on the screen to finish the job, “E”. . .

His eyelid slams shut. He can tell, vaguely, that his cheek bandages are damp but whether that’s normal or from anything spilling out of his eye is beyond him. His neck twitches from the strain. 

He coughs. Forces his eye open. The lawyer looks at the screen. Looks back down at her phone. Looks at the screen again. Her eyebrows raise. 

“Are you sure?” She asks.

Of course I’m fucking sure! he could shout and shake her shoulders. 

“This was not the fault of Pony Express or its parent corporation?” 

“N”, then “O”, and now she’s actually paying attention. Something hungry lights up in her eyes, and she takes a picture of the screen and then starts furiously scribbling on her notepad. 

—

“-in this room right here, ma’am.” The nurse opens the door.

Curly looks over. Following the nurse is Cousin Sue, her blond locks he remembers now turned more platinum. She stops in the doorway and covers her mouth with her hands. 

“Were you not warned?” The nurse asks her.

She ignores him, running over by the bedside. “Oh you poor thing!” 

Curly tries to flick his eyes towards the screen, only for liquid lightning to pour into all his senses when she grabs the stump of his left arm. He chokes on air. The burning sensation lingers even as she jerks her hand away. 

“Take it easy, ma’am.” The nurse says.

“Why was it wet?” She mutters and shakes out her hand.

“Some leakage from blisters beneath the bandages. He’s okay. Try to be gentle.” 

“God. It’s horrific. I can hardly. . .”

The nurse drags her over a chair as if she might collapse any minute. Curly’s nerve endings are still on fire. She still hasn’t made eye contact with him. 

“H”, he types. “I”. Blinks to send. “HI.” 

“Hi.” She echoes. “He said hi.”

“The law firm hooked him up. That’s how we know the full story.”

It wasn’t the full story. It was the story told in simple enough words that the lawyer would stay awake while he typed. 

“God. What happened was. . . so terrible.” Sue covers her mouth. “I’m sure he did everything he could.” 

“I’ll leave you two alone now.” The nurse steps back.

The door clicks shut. Sue’s watery eyes rake up and down his frame. 

“It’s all that bastard’s fault, isn’t it? And to think you even invited him to a family reunion or two. I remember that.” 

Curly looks to the “N”. Blinks. Looks to the “O”. Blinks. Erases both. Blinks an “M”. Then a “Y”. Space. “F”. “A-”

“Disgusting man. Letting you get like this. I’m sorry about the rest of the crew as well, of course. At least they got the easy way out of things. . .” 

Curly stares at the wall behind the screen. Something inside his throat trembles. 

“What’s going on? Do you need something? Water? Water perhaps?” 

Sue looks around her before spotting the sink across the room. She grabs a cup from the nearby dispenser and fills it. Then she returns to his bedside, standing over him and then there’s his fingers on his chin opening his mouth and-

He gags. He sobs. Something wet splashes against the inside of his mouth (it’s blood it’s blood it’s blood) and nausea plays a soaring note above the chorus. 

He becomes nothing but a shivering pile of meat for a little. It’s more comfortable that way rather than trying to think. And when he opens his eyes again, Sue is gone. 

—

Curly knows there isn’t much time left. When Sue came back she talked about a private care home, and if there’s even a chance of the screen not coming with then he can’t risk it. He’s started typing only when there’s no one around to read it. It’s easier that way.

Sue and the nurse come in. They’re discussing something but Curly can hardly hear them until the nurse puts his hand on the swivel holding up the screen. Curly’s pulse lights up, and before anyone else can even breathe he blinks “send” on the console. 

The tinny voice reads each syllable as if it were reporting the weather. 

“I’M SORRY SWANSEA.”

“I’M SORRY DAISUKE.”

“ANYA. I’M SORRY. MY FAULT.” 

“I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED. DEAD PIXEL. INSTEAD OF THE BIG PICTURE.” 

Curly lets his eye droop down from the screen. 

“. . . what was all that?” Sue asks. 

The nurse comes over to his bedside. “Are you feeling alright?”

Curly doesn’t look at him. Doesn’t need to. 

All the words he could possibly offer are jammed. Like logs against the rocks beneath the water of the river he grew up by as a kid. Or traffic in the big city he moved to after moving out. Or a key in the wrong keyhole. (Or pills in his throat.)

All of these pictures he could paint. The only people who would find it worth the wait are all dead. Somehow Jimmy is among them. 

Damn it all. Curly stares at the ceiling. The nurse takes down the screen and then manhandles him into a wheelchair.

[luimagines]

You Give Him a Massage Part 3

Masterlist

Part 1 Part 2

Part three will include Hyrule, Legend and Sky

Content under the cut!

Hyrule

It was a long day. One that everyone nearly collapsing over themselves at the end of it. You were thankful that there wasn’t a lot battle that you had to do but that didn’t make it any harder to keep awake at the end of the day.

The group finally settled down to break camp but you couldn’t muster up the energy to help them sat anything up.

Looking around, it looked to be the general consensus of the rest of the group. No was willing to do anything. Wild takes out a flaming sword and makes the camp fire by striking a bunch of wood and calls it good.

He makes kabobs and that your meal for the night. 

You’re tired enough to find that you don’t really care for the lack of everything.

You sit by a tree, watching everyone half hazzardly throw round their bed rolls and flop into them for the night. You plan on staying up a little bit longer. At least until it finally becomes the hour your normally sleep at. You don’t plan on tossing away your sleep schedule that way. It would take weeks to get it back on track if you did. 

Wild goes to bed. Wind was the first to fall asleep. Sky follows his example within minutes. Warrior and Time struggle to decide which one of them goes to bed first since someone still has to take the first watch. Legend offers to do it just so they both shut up but he’s ignored.

Hyrule throws his bed roll close to you and flops down just like the others. It’s a little funny how similar they all are even if they don’t to do it. It makes you giggle

Hyrule looks up at the sound with a cross face. “What?”

“Nothing. Good night, Link.”

His face softens and he scoots closer to you. He places his head on your lap, making himself comfortable. You snort. “Better?”

“Yes.” He grins.

With an affectionate roll of your eyes, you put your hand sin his hair, carding through his locks gently before you start massing his scalp. You can see the way the stress of the day melts off of his with every pass of your hand. “...That’s nice...”

“Good night, Link.” You repeat yourself. Distantly, you think that you’re also going to have to sleep soon and you’re going to have to figure out how to get the boy off of you without waking him up- but that’s a problem for future you.

You keep massaging his scalp, taking quiet wonder at how soft his hair is despite the lack of up keep.

Your subtle, minute motions lulls you into a deep calm as well. You think you see Four awake still, even though he’s lying down. Twilight is also up against a tree on the other side of the camp but he’s huddled into himself. That’s going to be a horrible position to wake up if he stays asleep like that. You don’t want the same thing to happen to you.

You can feel yourself nodding off despite yourself.

You have to move Hyrule. You have to lay down before you also fall asleep against the tree. How do you move Hyrule without waking him up in the process?

You fall asleep with Hyrule still in your lap.

Legend

Legend growls somewhere off to your right.

You look over to him curiously.

Legend’s been rubbing the side of his head for a while now. His face is twisted in pain and his hair has been mused up in the process. His cheeks are pink and his hat is about to half off of his head from everything he’s doing.

You frown. “Legend, are you ok?”

He hisses but looks to you. In an instant his gaze softens when his eyes land on you. He had looked borderline angry before, but you’re thankful to know that it has nothing to do with you. “...I have a headache... hurts...”

You’re heart hurts for him. “How bad it is?”

“Bad.” He says. “I feel like someone is trying to cave in my skull with a hammer.”

You open your mouth.

“Not that anyone’s tried to do that before.” Legend eyes you tiredly before you can speak.

You press your lips into a thin line. Now’s not the time for poorly judged jokes. “I can help.”

Legend gets almost a pleading look on his face. “Really?”

“I can try.” You amend. Walking towards him, you take off his hat and urge him to sit down nearby. “Just let me know if you want me to stop, ok?”

“...ok..” He says, clearly willing to do anything if it means relief from his headache.

You start by gently running your hands through his hair. It takes a minute or two but Legend’s shoulder eventually fall from their hunched position. From there you start to rub small circles into his scalp, now that you’ve cleared away more of the tangles from his hair.

You start small, a little worried about the pressure you’d put on his already sore head but with time you gradually get firmer. You try to keep the pressure slow and steady, going in circles around his head.

It doesn’t take too long before you seem to find the area that’s been bugging him the most and focus in on it.

A small sound leaves Legend and you pause. “All good?”

“Mm-hm.” He hums and slowly moves his head this way and that. A beat passes and you see his face contort again.

You take that as your queue to start up again since the pain had returned. “Have you had any water today, Vet?”

You didn’t think he heard you until he finally makes a noise of acknowledgment. “...I think...”

“Hm.” You’re not impressed. “I’m going to go get you something to drink and if this happened because you were dehydrated then I’m going to yell at you.”

“Please don’t.”

“I make no promises.”

Sky

“Ow.”

You ignored it the first time.

“Ow.”

You ignored it the second time.

“Ow.” He hissed for the third time.

You sighed and looked over. “Sky? What on earth are you doing?”

“Nothing. I’m fine.” He bit his lip, trying to whittle a piece a wood into submission. You’re not entirely sure what it is he’s trying to make but he looks like he’s struggling with it. His hand makes a move and he hisses again. “Ow- by the three-!”

He drops the knife to his lap and cradles his hand. He seems to be pressing his thumb into the palm of his hand.

You move over to his side and take his hand. “You’re learning their figures of speech.”

“Completely on accident on assure you.” He growls, pouting as he watches your movements.

You bring his hand closer to you, tucking it close and slowly kneading into the palm of his hand. You can already see the problem. There’s a muscle out of place. Whether it’s twisted or stretched, you’re not sure. But it looks painful.

“How did you manage to do this?” You whisper to yourself, bordering on horrified.

Sky hears you anyway. “I’m not entirely sure. I just woke up this morning and it was like that. It doesn’t bother me too much, only when I move it a certain way.”

You grunt and keep up with kneading into his hand. Sky bites on his lip when you go particularly deep and squirms in his seat. You look up and tilt you head. “Hurt?”

“That time. Yes.” He keeps his hand limp in your hand at least, trying to not make it harder for you. “You don’t have to do this.”

“If someone doesn’t help you fix it, you’re going to make it worse.” You don’t leave room for argument. “What on earth are you thinking? Why would you be whittling? Clearly your hand needs to rest instead so that it can get better from whatever the hack happened to it.”

Sky at least has the decency to appear a little sheepish. “...I’m bored.”

“And dumb.” You flick his forehead.

“Hey now...”

“Hush.” You grin, not letting him defend himself. “It’s out of love and you know it.”

“Yes, I feel very loved right now.” Sky rolls his eyes, relaxing a little more as time goes by. Little by little, you’re moving the muscle in his hand back into place and it’s hurting him less and less. “...Thank you...”

You snort. “You’re very welcome.”

[wheredidhiseyebrowsgo]

Hi was just going through the post on “hale” which was searched cause my cat is such a mediating little baby and it was a pic of stiles flirting with Derek and Scott just validating and hyping stiles up, and I wanted to know if you know or can recommend some good Scott himbo fanfics, just him being a dude bro himbo who loves stiles so much, especially with working hard to get Stiles and Derek together.

Thank you!!,! It can included as many himbo as you like!,!!!!

Yeah!

The Matchmaking Alpha (or Two Dumb Love Birds Attack) by NathTE

(1/? I 300 I Teen)

Scott was tired of seeing Stiles and Derek dancing around each other, which made it even more frustrating as he was the one both chose to come to talk about the other.

So, he decided he was going to help them realize, that their supposedly unrequited love, wasn’t that unrequited anyway.

Come Over Here And Make Me by tabbytabbytabby

(1/1 I 1,759 I Teen)

Stiles and Derek get stuck together when Scott and Mason team up and find a way to keep them trapped at Derek's. It works out better than they expected.

For the prompts: “Looks like we’re gonna be stuck here for a while.” and “Come over here and make me.”

McLinski's by StaciNadia

(1/1 I 3,075 I General)

Derek is a coffee snob looking for some good coffee, but what he finds is bad coffee jokes and maybe a whole lot more.

ones you never expected by Marishna

(1/1 I 3,832 I Mature)

A few seconds later Stiles and Derek heard the elevator start its laborious descent to the ground floor.

Stiles kept his head buried in one of the new books he picked up, scanning the passages for any keyword or phrasing that sounded similar to what their allied San Bernadino pack friends were dealing with. Finally, after three long, drawn-out minutes, Derek dropped his pen to the table and pushed back from it.

“They’re gone,” he told Stiles who stuck a piece of paper between the pages to mark his place and shut his book.

“About time! Now, strip,” he ordered.

How To Get Your Idiot Friends Together: A Four Step Process by Scott McCall by reptilianraven

(1/1 I 4,344 I General)

"He laughs at your jokes, man. How blind can you be?"

Stiles makes this face like he ate a lemon or something. "Are we talking about the same guy here? Because Derek Hale has never once laughed at my jokes."

"No, he does the thing where he exhales quickly through his nose. Like when you see something funny on the internet." Scott says and oh my god. "Stiles he thinks you're funny like how things on the internet are funny. I don't get why I have to explain this to you!"

-

In which Scott plays matchmaker because he'd probably go insane if these two idiots can't get their fucking act together.

[slide] by sonic_counselor

(1/1 I 16,506 I Mature)

He’s worked at the movie theater for just over a year now and it’s probably the best job he’s ever had, although that’s not entirely a fair comparison when the only other jobs he’s ever had involved raking leaves for Mrs. Huckabee next door and doing some filing for his dad at the station.

He’s also had a crush on Derek for just over a year, ever since his first day at the theater when their overbearing and probably certifiably insane general manager, Bobby Finstock, had declared he didn’t have time to do Stiles’ induction and had palmed him off on Derek instead because he happened to be walking past the office.

# #

Working at the movie theater alongside his crush is all getting a little too much for Stiles. It's just as well Scott, and his terrible matchmaking plans, are on hand to help out.

[misedejem]

I hope the game continues to deny Emet-Selch his rest after he died because something new keeps cropping up every time he tries, I think that would be quite funny

Like

You’re one of the last surviving members of your people, and for 12000 years you and the other survivors have been trying to bring them all back. It has been so long and you have considered giving up more than you care to admit. One of the three survivors has died, another has lost himself, and you’re so exhausted. And what is left of one of the people you loved more than anything has just killed you. Your soul returns to the Sea, and you think 'at least now I can rest’.

But no, suddenly you remember all the things from your life you had forgotten, because the aetherial sea really is like that, and you realise that awful work trip you had completely forgotten about? Turns out the memories you lost then told you exactly how the apocalypse that destroyed your people happened and also how to stop it (you couldn’t).

So you can’t rest because you’re processing that, and you should also be on standby because it looks like the Emissary is making his last stand, and you know it’s futile and you’ve lost, so by now you just want his suffering to end. You gain brief respite when he has been defeated, but the person you kind of abandoned as a Sin Eater for a century has now returned to the Sea and likely has a few choice words for you.

Then the last person in existence that you could possibly want to talk to at that point turns up and tells you to join Her on an inter-shard trip back to the Source, and you know you can’t refuse, because those memories you regained told you that you couldn’t. You know what happens for a while from here, and you know there is no point in resting now, so you resign yourself to watching the person who killed you and hoping their journey will be short. 

At which point, your coworker - who you now know kind of caused the apocalypse because of those regained memories of the terrible work trip - kills your God.

And you cannot rest, because killing your God did free the souls who were sacrificed to summon Him, and they are returning to the Star. Coworkers, relatives, acquaintences, all joining you in the Sea. Among them is the other person you love more than anything, and this reunion is more important than any rest you could ever want. But you also know that person was very good at denying you sleep when you were alive, and he surely has not changed so much that he will not do the same now that you are dead. 

You watch the destruction that befell your home so long ago devastate the Source, and the Warrior of Light returns to the First to make a journey you know will lead them to your younger self twelve millenia in the past, bringing the events you recalled full circle. You think, perhaps, you may finally be able to get some sleep. But this tale has not ended yet, and the Warrior of Light is now in the aetherial sea, making a lot of noise in heated battle with their God, and you and your beloved can do nothing else but watch your dear friend’s soul forge ahead to the end of their journey. 

At which point they drag you both out of the aetherial sea to the edge of the bloody universe to help them. And you do, because deep down you know you wouldn’t have it any other way, and you make a very immutable point of saying goodbye because surely, surely this is the end of your role in their story. You will wait and sleep in the aetherial sea until their soul joins you, and the three of you will return to the Star together. Surely this annoyingly undefeatable force of nature won’t die for some time yet, and you’ll have a good few decades of rest. 

And for a time, you do get that. A few months, a year maybe, of nothing of note happening that would concern you beyond perhaps some idle curiosities that Hythlodaeus insists you should see. And you think this is how it will be from now on.

Until the Ancient’s Extremely Dangerous and Fucked Up Monster Facility that should have been destroyed twelve thousand years ago appears on the Dead Person equivalent of your back doorstep, and you realise your suffering is never actually going to end

[nolita-fairytale]

try a little tenderness | carmen 'carmy' berzatto x fem!reader one shot

summary: on the anniversary of mikey's death, you help carmy find a way to grieve. (set in the make my heart surrender universe, but can be read as a standalone piece)

warnings: swearing, grief, mild angst, mentions of death & suicide, second person pov, no use of y/n

wc: 2.3k

a/n: i wrote this as a way to process my own grief over the loss of a close friend to suicide. i fell so deeply in love with 'the bear' because i saw myself in so many of these characters: how they responded to losing mikey, the nature of the loss, and the ways they fought their grief. i see so much of myself in carmy in the show and this ended up being really cathartic to write, even though it's been three years now. anyways, heavy shit ahead so don't feel obligated to read but thank you if you do.

(banner made by @allthefandomstogether)

Grief is a funny thing. 

For Carmy, most days it’s something easy to ignore – like an old friend that he’s managed to cut out of his day to day. He’s stopped calling, stopped picking up the phone, eliminated any and all thought about this thing that feels so foreign yet, so familiar at the same time. 

But now he has you – and he’s never been able to bullshit you for shit. Some days, he feels like you see right through him. He knows he’s been irritable, short, impatient at the restaurant (and sometimes at home too). It’s something you handle better than he expected – better than he thinks he deserves. 

“Honey, can we take a pause from this conversation? I just don’t think either of us are in the right headspace,” you’d asked him the other day when he’d tried to pick a fight with you. Completely caught off guard, Carmy had stared at you blankly in response, as if you’d suggested you both run naked down the street.

“If you wanna fight, we can fight. I just… don’t think this is what you’re upset about,” you’d explained, before slipping into the bedroom with the book you were halfway through. 

And today, after he’d tried to pick another fight with you, you’d stopped him again, like a tornado hitting an immovable wall. 

“Carmy, I’m not going to fight you about the dishes,” you’d sighed, shooting him a sympathetic look. “I’m gonna take a walk and pick some things up at the store for dinner. Is that still something you’d like to do?”

How could he forget when he’d been making his brother’s family recipe earlier that day, setting the braciole-filled dutch oven in the fridge to be put into the oven for later? But he almost has – another symptom of how checked out he’s been all week. 

He’s not used to this. He’s used to his siblings – his mom – picking fights over the smallest things that usually escalated into a screaming match. And while you were willing to fight over things that felt worthy to go to bat for, always quick to call him out when he’s being a dick, you don’t engage in his smaller, more frivolous attempts at starting something over the smallest, nitpicky things. 

It’s a whole new pattern for him, and he’ll admit, it’s harder than you make it look. 

Earlier in the week, he knew he’d been in a trash mood. Then he looked at the calendar and saw what date was coming:

2/22/23. 

Oh. 

No wonder he’s been such an ass. 

And now wonder you’ve been such a saint.  

“Oh, um…” he stammers, as he realizes his memory has failed him again. “Uh… yeah, we can still do that.”

He’d forgotten you’d made plans for dinner in preparation for today, and truthfully, he’d been so absent-minded all week that he’s forgotten – forgotten about the plan, forgotten about what day it was, forgotten that that day was now today. Thankfully, you’d had the sense to make sure he was off that day, coordinating with the staff of The Bear to make it happen. While you knew everyone would be grieving today, you weren’t interested in a repeat of last year when the both of you were still in New York.

Sydney, the real hero of this story, had moved mountains to get everyone’s schedules nailed down for this week – knowing it’d be a hard week for everyone that knew and loved Mikey. 

“No, we do not need a repeat of last year,” Sydney had agreed, as you’d explained to her the shit show that was Carmy going into work that night, one year ago. “Don’t worry. I’ll run the kitchen. Tap as many newer staff as I can to work too.”

With the recent press about The Bear (not to mention Sydney’s official James Beard finalist status) there’d been a huge increase in applicants lately. You couldn’t thank Syd enough. 

“Okay. I love you, Carm. I’ll be back in a bit,” you reassure, before grabbing his keys and your coat.

“Yeah,” he mutters quietly, as he watches you go. 

*

After lighting up a few in the apartment, he lays down on the couch, turning on something mind-numbing to not pay attention to on the TV. He’s not sure when or how long it takes him to drift off to sleep, but one minute he’s blinking his eyes closed, and the next he can hear the sounds of pots and pans clamoring around the kitchen. 

He feels guilty: guilty for being an ass, guilty for trying to start something, guilty about what Mikey did.

You’ve told him time and time again: “I don’t think it’s fair to yourself to carry this much blame, Bear.” While normally, he’d love the way his familial nickname sounded coming from you, he’d winced at the mention – just because today, it hits a little too close to home. 

He knows it’s not fair to himself – or to you – but it’s something he’s just not ready to let go of yet. 

He can smell the braciole he’d prepared earlier that day; you’ve already put it in the oven, letting it braise slowly like it was meant to be. He recalled the conversation you both had had about this a few weeks ago. 

“Let’s make a meal he’d like,” you’d proposed, wanting to be a supportive 

“The braciole. Or maybe his spaghetti,” he’d suggested, so matter-of-factly that you could tell he was trying to mask his emotions.

“Maybe both?” you’d countered him. 

“Yeah,” he‘d agreed, quick to put himself out of the discomfort the conversation was causing him. 

“How do you feel about maybe asking some of the others to stop by, Only if they want. Only if you’re up for it,” you’d continued, cautiously. 

“Can I let you know?” he’d asked. 

“Sure,” you’d agreed, even though you knew he wouldn’t be bringing it up again. 

As Carmy sits up from the couch, his mind drifting back to the present, he sees you posted up in front of his little apartment’s stove top, working on his brother’s spaghetti sauce. Pangs of guilt fill his chest, and he feels like absolute garbage for being a dick earlier. He can’t picture doing anything else tonight and he’s glad you had the foresight to do this. Carmy rubs the sleep out of his eyes, watching you move around the kitchen. You’ve got a window open just in case that tricky little smoke alarm goes off while you’re steeping the garlic in olive oil. 

You’re busy trying to maneuver the largest saute pan Carmy owns over the burner for maximum heat exposure when he approaches. The sun’s already set, and the heat from the kitchen leaves a fog on the windows right near the stove, as you shake the saute pan by its handle. 

“Hey,” Carmy says, his voice rough with sleep. 

“Hey,” you reply, a soft smile on your lips as you turn to him. “Sleep alright?”

His unruly curls seem exceptionally messy this evening, and you can smell the remnants of the cigarettes he smoked while you were out. You hate how sexy you still find the nasty habit, even though you’ve tried your best to get him to cut back, citing lung cancer as a top reason. As much as you hate to admit it, you’re eager to taste the cigarettes on his lips, wiping your hands on your jeans because, unlike Carmy, you could care less to wear an apron at home. Framing his face with both of your hands, you place a gentle kiss on his lips, breathing him in as he kisses you back. 

“Sorry I was an ass earlier,” Carmy says, in between kisses. 

“Thanks. You’re kind of allowed to be an ass today though,” you say back. 

He can’t believe you’re letting him off the hook this easily. 

“And what about tomorrow?” he asks, taking a more playful approach this time. 

“No, definitely not. Cut off. Ass privileges? Revoked,” you’re quick to banter back, earning a dry laugh from your boyfriend. 

As you return to your post in front of the stove, Carmy slaps your butt playfully from your earlier comment, eliciting a giggle from you as he does it. He watches you work, adding salt to the tomato, onion, and butter you’re reducing in the saute pan, while the saucepan-filled olive oil/garlic/basil mixture comes up to a simmer. 

“I know you’ve always said that Mikey’s pasta was over-sauced and under seasoned… but it sounds like he just needed a little extra salt and a few little tweaks here and there,” you continue, tasting the tomato sauce. 

He’s not ready to taste the sauce just yet, even though he’d suggested you make the spaghetti in the first place. He watches as you use a spoon to check for salt levels, tasting the sauce first. You throw your head back as the salty tomato mixture hits your tongue. Carmy watches you carefully as you remove the sprig of basil with a pair of tongs, tossing it into a deli container for the trash later. Placing the deli container on the counter next to the rest of things you need to dispose of, his eyes linger on the 28 oz San Marzanos. 

Because the small ones taste better…. 

You busy yourself with straining the oil, setting it aside to add to the sauce towards the end of the process. Carmy checks his phone briefly, seeing a few texts from Richie, Syd, and Tina – all just checking in. 

“Silly question, I know. But how are you doing?” you ask him, having found a good stopping point. 

Carmy thinks about it for a second. He’s not sure how he wants to answer – how he’s supposed to answer this question. 

“I’m… I don’t know,” he managed to get out. 

You nod in acceptance, before replying with an empathetic, “That makes sense.”

“It doesn’t feel real, I guess?” he admits, taking his time as the words fall out of his mouth. 

“I can only imagine, Carm,” you sympathize. “Wanna help me out?”

“Yeah,” he replies, a half smile on his face. 

You’re so kind, so understanding, so empathetic, and he can’t picture spending this day with anyone but you. He thinks back to last year – when he got the news. It was the worst day of his life and regardless of that fact, you’d been there: caring enough to show up, to fight with him, to make sure he ate something. And then that night… the night you crossed the line, slept together even though both of you knew it was a bad idea, that there was no way you could start something real. 

He’s not sure how you got from there to here, but he thanks his lucky stars for whatever good deed he’s done in a past life that’s led to it. 

“Thank you for this,” he says intentionally, making sure you hear him as he continues with, in reference to earlier, “... and I love you too.”

You don’t expect anything from him, and he’s grateful, because he’s not sure he has anything to give. Not today. 

You give him the softest smile, something that makes him want to melt right there and then when you reply with:

“You don’t need to thank me.”

You step aside, making space for Carmy as you give him a task to do to help with dinner. You made the executive decision not to scale Michael’s recipes down, making them as written – family style. If anything, you hope to bring some of the leftovers, sharing his food in honor of his life. You wish you could’ve met Mikey, and since you didn’t get to, making his food feels like the best way to get to know the man Carmy loved and admired so much. 

You queue up a good playlist, working in perfect harmony with Carmy till dinner is ready to eat. Between the braciole and the spaghetti, you know you’ll have more than enough leftovers to feed the two of you for the next week. You let Carmy plate – something he’s truly exceptional at – watching him as he creates a perfect twirl of spaghetti before tearing a few pieces of basil for garnish. As you bring the spaghetti to Carmy’s small dining table that is only meant to seat two, he plates up the braciole on one plate for the both of you to share. You set the table, enjoying the sounds of the playlist you’ve set for the night, before sitting down to eat. 

Carmy takes his first bite of the spaghetti, knowing that it’s not going to be an easy thing for him. You watch closely as he tastes the sauce, his eyes closing and face turning a darker shade redder. 

You wait a beat, letting him settle in before asking:

“What do you think?” 

He nods his head, “It’s fire.” You can see that he’s holding back tears, not ready to lose all control just yet. “It’s actually better… than Mikey’s”

You eat your dinner quietly. It’s the good kind of quiet but the air feels heavy. Carmy may not always have the words for what he’s feeling, but he doesn’t need to right now. You try the braciole together, sharing one plate as he tells you about how Mikey refused to use raisins, even though that’s how they grew up eating the beef dish. You listen, letting him travel down memory lane, only as far as he’d like tog. 

Halfway through dinner, Carmy says something that surprises you:

“We’ve got more than enough leftovers to feed a large family of… twenty,” he states plainly. His blue eyes water as he continues with an ask. “You uh… maybe wanna pack this up and take it to the restaurant tonight?”

“Yeah, Bear. I think everyone would love that," you agree, the smallest smile on your lips. "Would you... wanna tell me a little about him? On our walk there?"

Carmy nods, "Sure. Yeah, I-. I think I can do that."

*

taglist: @allthefandomstogether @gaysludge @sobshoney @harrysmatcha @starbritestarlite @tpwkkmila @cool-girl-is-hot @nunya7394 @galaxyprincess51-blog @carmensberzattos @blue-weekends @rexorangecouny @ridingthehotmessexpress @the-nursery@strawberryalicia @astronautelilanded @veryplatoniccircunstances @fonteyn @hlkwrites @not-two-shrimp

[sgiandubh]

A tale of two brands

Sophie Mancini's Departures paper on S in NY started a flurry of comments even before the whole content was made available on blogs. That people - mostly in Mordor - jumped in to add their two booing cents on the matter, based on two or three Instagram Story screencaps only, is a testimony to Tumblr's community deep interest in S's slightest PR/sales move and the easiness with which people like *urv managed to push their own agenda, in the process, to her unsuspecting, bicep-loving crowd.

Many of these comments asked just one question, more or less kindly and more or less openly: who are you, Sam Roland Heughan? Some of them, more along my alley, took a different angle: who are you talking to, Sam Roland Heughan?

Let me count the US crowds: the Wall Street yuppie crowd? the old money, WASP Knickerbocker / Colony Club crowd? Tribeca's sophisticated, culture-ish snob crowd? the UN international crowd? the laid-back (-ish) brownstone Brooklyn crowd? the DC politico types? the Boston Brahmin crowd? the Silicon Valley Bitcoin crowd? the Florida Latino crowd? the Bible Belt crowd? the Deep South charmingly old-fashioned crowd? the yee-haw, witty and ambitious Texans? the gourmet, nature-loving Seattle crowd? I am sure I am missing some (it's been a while I haven't traveled to the States and I have to say I miss all 50 of them, plus and perhaps above all my beloved DC :), but you get the idea. And the problem, or rather its first layer.

The second question this very poorly written article prompted is: what are you talking about, Sam Roland Heughan? I mean, what destination are you trying to promote? Scotland, through your Scottish gin, which I truly believe is exceptional? The Big Apple, like a counterpart to Sting, you know - a Scotsman in New York? That's not very clear, since that superficial girl just whirled you to a couple Chinatown speakeasies, rat pitter-patter included (bye-bye, Knickerbocker crowd right there) and that's pretty much it. New Zealand, that you mention at length, Maori tattoo story re-hashed, just because the book comes out next Tuesday? Ha-wa-wee, perhaps in a belated attempt to mitigate Tunagate? California, even, because it takes you back to humble beginnings? Granted, the Frisco one, not LA: that would be a horrible faux-pas, in a NY centered paper, much like me whimsically and idiotically mentioning Istanbul (instead of Constantinople), in a conversation with my Greek friends.

My head spins. And then let's add to that a ladle of recycled talking points, yours and C's altogether, like this gem:

Aspirational. Mmmhm. She said that. You said that. Multiple times, in multiple contexts that probably didn't even call for it. This is *** PR right there. I am not JAMMF. I am not Claire. But we aspire to that. Stop thinking we are these characters. No sane fan ever did: the insistence is unnecessary and has a real backfire potential. Stop thinking, period. But let it be my shipper sin, then, not to believe an iota of it and stubbornly think you people are, by now, way past the aspirational stage.

So, I took a long walk down memory lane today, while driving, trying to understand what the hell your personal brand is. Once upon a time, things were clear: you and C were a single brand. S&C - the fresh-faced, candid, witty and funny and oh, so in love new kids on the block. The spark was real and it was strong (it still is, only dampened and muted by PR-prompted shenanigans) and OL's audience was under its spell. People loved you, both of you, and some of us still do. You showed us as much as you could and for a while, it seemed to be convenient for just about everybody. That created expectations, but at the same time, you could have sold us land concessions on the Moon and we would have bought them, no questions asked.

And then, things happened. We know what: IFH, EFH, Remarkable Week-end. The spell was broken for many, who left in droves. Fans turned into bashing other fans. The S&C brand was progressively compromised and along with it, your Barbour Ambassadorship (for different reasons). Let's stop a bit at this point, in fond remembrance: that was the perfect pitch, for the perfect kind of corporate brand, for the perfect niche, for the perfect guy. A guy who had a credible, authentic story to tell, with a really strong potential to attract people outside of OL's crowd. Image and message perfectly aligned. Best case scenario.

So, with ***'s and your own PR benediction, what once was your solid gold starting point was ridiculed, trampled, shot to shambles, in a (failed) attempt to be sent to complete oblivion. You then had to think of something and try to branch out of both the blessing and curse of it.

MPC suddenly became more important than just any other charity project, of which there were a few (Cahonas Scotland comes to mind, the blood cancer one, as well). Cue in Sam the Athlete, Sam the Healthy Living Evangelist. The project was turned into a lucrative business, with a strong charity side. People bought subscriptions, people changed their eating and lifestyle habits, people lost weight - but really, I shouldn't write 'people', but 'women'. This was a women-oriented endeavor. A problem, again, on the long term.

Ha-wa-wee 1 happened, to more scandal and shrieks (that, I believe, was the reason you lost the Barbour project, another gold opportunity squandered because ten Internet bitches knew better). Then we were told another avatar was born: Sam the Entrepreneur. With a genuine, carefully curated, labor of love first alcohol product that clearly used the discarded S&C brand: The Sassenach and believe what you want, but just buy it. Mommies obliged. Antis obliged. Shippers obliged. All wallets are created equal, as I (often) use to say. And then COVID-19 came, putting a very real, very dangerous logistic strain on it.

Yet, you still had to somehow mitigate delays and losses. The Sassenach went exotic, with that limited edition tequila that probably won't be remembered by many outside OL's fandom, and that is a pity and a shame. The reason it won't be remembered is that you almost did not promote it, spare one or two Tick-Tock and Instagram clips. Does that justify the investment, the trips to Mexico, the very expensive retainers and commissions your tequila friends took for their trouble? I very much doubt it. That was, until being proved completely wrong, a flop. It brought absolutely nothing in terms of personal branding, spare perhaps a new faction in this paranoid cesspool of a fandom: the Gay Crowd, fueled by the image of a Lonely Bandana Cowboy, instead of the intended Sophisticated Traveler and Connoisseur. Yes, people are stupid, like that. Your PR and Sales team, too - and this comes from a place of deep understanding and appreciation.

We are now talking gin and boy, am I glad we do! This is perhaps an opportunity. Finally, a more democratically price-tagged, carefully tailored (again) drawing card product. But who is selling it to me? The California Boat Party Host? In that case, I won't buy it, but never mind me: maybe the fun-loving California Millennials would (we know the Smuggling Mommies would do it, anyways). The Sophisticated Traveler and Connoisseur you tried to show us again in Mancini's abysmal Departures paper and who is invited to important events, in recognition of his efforts?

You can't have the two of them, Sam, whatever those incompetents told you. You're either a 43-years old midlife crisis-stricken and shirtless clown or an Old World Industrious Thespian, with a stature and a status to match. A real Entrepreneur, not a cartoon scuba diver/beach boy Influencer. Eye Candy vs. Brain Power: after all, you are a '3x NYT best selling author', aren't you? Your pick, not mine. Stop the Sri Mataji-style Hugging and Booze tours: it's nonsense and that geriatric crowd is nowhere near what you need to make your dream come true. Do some real soul searching and stop listening to clueless 28-year old journalists, who tell you tacky rings are fun: they aren't. They make you look like an ageing Atlantic City Sinatra wannabe:

Sam Roland Heughan: currently at crossroads, trying to not choose between two opposite personal brands. Tricky position and an even trickier context, with the strike still lingering on and the pressing need to find an after OL strategy.

I promised you a tale of two brands and I think you wonder, by now, what happened to C, the other half of the primary SC brand?

The answer is, I honestly believe, not much. She has no personal brand, so to speak. Until now, she is just an Enthusiastic Dilettante. Book Club - started, unfinished and with that, farewell to any fan engagement. Cinema production rights - bought and then silence. Botanical Gin - first batch released (?) with no promo, no interviews (mentioning it in a podcast does not count), no reviews. Then teasing, then crickets again: a bit late, now, for the end of year celebrations. And I have to say I miss her or the part of her I never witnessed in real time (is such a thing possible?). I miss that starry-eyed, funny and witty girl. That girl was somehow completely swallowed by an Acrid Matron, who thought it was intelligent to yell at an Internet nobody, on Christmas Day, 'I am not married to Sam!' (ok, you aren't, but you're still lying). And I honestly don't know which one is best (or worst, for that matter): try to build something and make mistakes and try again until you hopefully find your way, or say nothing, do nothing and of course, never be controversial.

Now I am really interested to see how is she going to promote her gin. But you know what, I am not holding my breath, for some reason.

[sweetprfct]

Is It Over Now?

Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader

Summary: Fake dating your flatmate, Joe, should be a simple thing. It meant you get to help get his ex back, and it meant you get to stop your parents' nagging about bringing someone home for once. But what happens when fake dating turns into something unexpected? Now, what?

Author's Note: Part 5 is here! This is the last part I left off before I deleted the old blog, so I will be working on part 6 this week! Comments are always welcome! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: 18+, smutty-ish

Wordcount: 4.2K

part one - part two - part three - part four - part five - part six - part seven - part eight - part nine - part ten

The sound of papers shuffling on the table and the low volume of the television behind you was the only sound echoing through the flat as you watched Sara sign all the last few paper works that she needed to do for her and Abby’s adoption. You decided to visit their place and help them out with everything they needed to prepare since Abby was busy at the art gallery. Besides, the last thing you wanted to do was stay in your own place after the night of your mum’s birthday dinner. 

Funny how you were starting to also feel uncomfortable in your own flat. 

“So, when are you going to meet her?” You asked Sara. 

You studied the boxes that were stacking up around their flat. Abby and Sara had gone shopping for all the things they needed to make sure that the little girl they were adopting was going to be all settled and comfortable. When your eyes met Sara’s, you immediately saw her face beaming with excitement as she finished signing the papers in front of her. You knew this had been a long process for them, and they have been waiting for this answer. You couldn’t believe they

were finally almost at the end of it. 

“In a week.” Sara replied. “I’m so excited to meet her. The agency said that she’s only two years old, and her name is Elena.” 

“And she’s from the orphanage that you guys visited before?” You asked. 

“Yeah, poor thing.” Sara sighed. “Her parents passed away in a car accident just last year.”

Your eyes widened, “What happened?” 

“When she finally turned one, her parents decided to go out for a date night because it had been a while and going home, they got into a car accident. Her grandparents are too old to take care of her, and she doesn’t have any other family.” 

“Ohmygod.” You gasped softly, feeling your stomach drop. “But does her grandparents keep in contact?”

Sara nodded her head. “Yes, they would visit her, and we’ve met them. Her grandma is starting to forget a lot of things, and her grandpa could barely walk.” 

“That’s horrible, but I’m happy that she’s going to be in a good family.”

Sara leaned back on her chair, and you saw the hesitation in her eyes. It was almost like sadness and at the same time, a terrified look on her face. 

“What if I’m not going to be a good mother?” Sara asked. 

“Are you kidding?” You chuckled softly. “You’re going to be a great mother, and Abby will too. The both of you are such a good team already.”

That was the difference between you and Sara. She has her life together, and she knew what she wanted. It wasn’t like she didn’t have flaws either, but she was just better at all of this. Better at organizing her life, better at making decisions, and she knew the path she wanted for her life. You, on the other hand, didn’t really know what to do. You woke up everyday and just survived and hoped you would eventually find your way. That you would eventually stop being so terrified with life. 

“Thank you.” Sara smiled. “And thank you for always supporting me and Abby.”

“I’m always here for you.” You smiled, getting up from your chair to grab the both of you a drink. “It’s just the nerves that’s making you overthink about all of this, but I know that you will be an amazing mother.”

You handed her the glass of wine as you took a sip of yours. 

“C’mon. Why don’t we start setting up her room?” You smiled, setting down the glass of wine on the table before lifting up one of the boxes and walked over to Elena’s room. 

You couldn’t believe that during uni, you and Sara would just talk about this and who would have a family first and now, you were helping her set up the bedroom of her first child. It was so surreal. Taking the knife, you sliced through the tape that was on top of the box before opening it. 

“Do me a favor and please don’t spoil her.” Sara mentioned as the two of you read the instructions on how to set the bed up. 

You laughed softly and said, “Yeah, I’m not going to promise that.”

“Don’t give her something that she doesn’t need.” Sara argued. 

“Sara,” You tilted your head, giving her a look. “I’m the cool Aunt in this picture, I’m supposed to be the one who spoils her all the time, and you will get mad at me for doing that, but you’ll just roll your eyes and let me do it anyway.”

“Oh, is that so?” Sara laughed, throwing you one of the plush bunnies that was next to her. 

“Yes, that’s how it works.” You shrugged, “It’s the law.” 

“Yeah, okay.” Sara said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. “They said that she’s really shy, but she’s so sweet once you get to know her.”

You smiled, picking up the screwdriver as you started putting the bed together. “You’re so great with your students, Sara. Now, you’re going to have your own child, and I know that you and Abby will love and take care of her.”

“Yeah, lately, I have been having second thoughts about this and maybe you were right. It’s just nerves. Even Abby tells me that.”

“It is. Even with Abby, I know she will be great. I’m really happy that you two are doing this and have found Elena because I know she deserves the world. You both are entering the next chapter of your lives.” 

“Thank you. We really are, and I couldn’t be more excited and happy about it.” Sara smiled, handing you the screws as the both of you put up the headboard of the bed. “What about you?”

You grunted, getting up from the floor and moved the bed in the corner of the room. “What about me?”

“How are you and Joe?”

You sighed and set your hands on your hips as you looked at the bed that the two of you just put together. Who knew you could do this with patience since you usually were frustrated whenever you put together a furniture. 

Maybe because your patience has been tested lately. 

“It’s the same thing every week.” You shook your head and watched Sara pick up the box with the bedsheets in it. “For some reason, he isn’t even paying attention to Ivy anymore.”

“What?!” Sara gasped, dropping the box on your feet.

“Ow!” 

“Sorry! Sorry…” Sara scrunched her face as she picked up the box that she dropped. “Why are you still fake dating him if he doesn’t want Ivy anymore?”

If only Sara knew how many times you have asked yourself that the past two weeks or so. You honestly didn’t know why, and you have been wanting to ask Joe, but he was never home during the week. You didn’t know what he was doing out there, and you kept telling yourself that he was with Ivy. That he was staying over at her house, but you didn’t even know if that was true too. Then, when the weekends came, you would try and talk to him but there were too many people around the both of you all the time. There was never a good time. 

“I don’t know.” You shrugged. “Honestly, I sort of want this to be over because sometimes, I feel like an idiot sitting there alone at the bar, while he made out with Ivy at the back.”

“He’s doing what?!” Sara’s eyes widened. 

“He hasn’t done it in a while when we go out during the weekends.”

Seriously, why were you even defending him?

“But he’s never home, so I figured he’s over there doing whatever he’s doing with her, and it still makes me feel like shit because even if all of this is fake, I’m still the girlfriend everyone sees.” 

You sighed and pulled up one of the chairs that was in the corner. “I’m still the girlfriend everyone sees and the girl who looks like an idiot, acting like she doesn’t know her boyfriend is basically kissing someone else at the back alley, while she’s sitting inside the pub alone.”

“Don’t you think it’s time to stop this?” Sara crossed her arms on her chest. “I feel like this has gone way too far.” 

Your silence was loud as Sara saw the hesitation in your eyes. Honestly, you weren’t even sure as to why you were hesitating because it was a simple thing, right? You weren’t comfortable about this anymore, so you should stop it. So, what was holding you back? Why were you okay with all of this even if it was making you feel like shit? 

“Unless…” Sara interrupted your thoughts. “There’s another reason why you don’t want this to be over.”

“No,” You shook your head, swallowing the last bit of pride you have left. “I just know that it will be over soon, so I just have to see through the end of it.”

“Okay.” Sara exhaled sharply, knowing she couldn’t convince you to stop this. “Well, maybe while Joe is busy with Ivy, you could try and go out there again? I haven’t seen you try with someone for a long time or even go to the pub and talk to someone.”

“I don’t know…” You shrugged. 

At this point, you were seriously questioning yourself as to why you were even hesitating over this suggestion. You would usually agree and go for it. It wasn’t like going out there was something new in your life. That was what you did before this whole plan happened. You would go to the pub, talk to someone, hook up with them sometimes but no strings attached. 

So, why were you hesitating? Was there a part of you that you sort of didn’t want to do that anymore? That you were over just hooking up with someone? That maybe you wanted to actually have a real relationship?

Maybe. 

If only you weren’t so terrified by the idea of it.

“It doesn’t have to be anything serious. I just want you to go out there and see that there’s so much more than what you’re doing right now with Joe.” Sara added.

“Yeah, I know.” You murmured. “Thanks.”

Sara always knew what to say and even if you didn’t want to hear the truth, you were also glad that she was always there to say it to you with no hesitation. On your way home later that night, you sat in the tube and revisited the suggestion that Sara mentioned earlier. Going to a pub and talking to someone other than Joe was better, right? 

You gazed down at your phone that was sitting on your lap as it buzzed and a message from Joe appeared on the screen. 

Going home soon?

You couldn’t help but contemplate if he was asking you that question because he had plans to go see Ivy again, and he was about to drag you with him again or if it was something else. Staring at the text, you didn’t know if you should reply back or not. You didn’t even know if you wanted to see him tonight. You’ve been seeing him too much lately. Your phone buzzed again after a few minutes and another text from Joe appeared on your screen. 

I’m bored. Wanna hang? A movie and pizza? The usual.

The thought of it made your stomach twist and turn again in a good way, but it also made you want to distance yourself more with Joe. You haven’t done a movie and pizza on a Saturday night in a long time and if you were being honest, you sort of missed it. You missed when you two could just sit on the sofa and act like normal flatmates but now, you didn't even know anymore if you could act normal like before. It made you wish you would stop thinking like this as you scolded yourself internally to stop acting up because all of this was just an act, and it would be over soon. 

You wish it was over now. 

Then, your phone buzzed again and this time, it was a text from Abby. You opened the message and saw a screenshot of a post on Instagram where fans were saying that you and Joe were cute together and wondering who you were. A “mystery” girl was what they called you. You stared at the photo of you and Joe during the Dior event just talking by the bar and laughing. It was one of those moments that night where you felt normal with him. Moments where you felt like you didn’t have to pretend and just be yourself, and he was fine with it. He liked your jokes and laughed at them. It wasn’t even a conversation about Ivy or anything. It was just a normal conversation about the event and getting to know each other. 

Then, the sudden overwhelming feeling that washed over you made you exit the text and went back to Joe’s text message. Staring at it, you couldn’t make up your mind whether you should go home now and spend the rest of the night watching a movie and eating pizza with Joe, while these emotions inside of you slowly killed you, or listen to Sara’s suggestion and finally try to break out of this for once and go out there and meet someone new. 

Sorry. I’ll be home late. 

You sent the text to Joe as soon as you exited the tube. There was no way you were going home now and going back to Sara and Abby’s place was no option either. You were already here, and you thought maybe you should take Sara’s advice for once and go out there. Besides, it really has been a while since you went out and met some new people. Who knows, maybe you could kill this feeling that had been circling inside of you.

Walking down the street, you stopped by at one of the pubs that was near your flat and found the place busy. 

Perfect. 

You sat by the bar and ordered yourself a drink, your eyes scanning the room. Unfortunately, everyone seemed to be in their own little conversations. There wasn’t anyone you could just walk up and talk to. Your agenda for tonight was to talk to someone and maybe flirt a little. Even if part of you sort of didn’t want to, you wanted to prove to yourself that you were just too preoccupied with your agreement with Joe that was why you kept having these weird emotions inside of you lately. 

That was it. That was the only reason why. 

However, your little plan wasn’t going too well as you ordered yourself another drink later that night. You were just sitting at the bar alone, and you couldn’t help but sigh and scold yourself for being so pathetic.

Seriously, what were you even doing?

This whole plan was just stupid. 

“Getting your mind off of something?” An unfamiliar voice interrupted your thoughts. 

Just when you thought you were unlucky tonight, a handsome man that was sitting next to you had a small smile tugging on his lips. His piercing blue eyes sparkled as he took a sip of his beer. You were so deep in your thoughts that you didn’t even notice he had sat next to you. 

You tilted your head, a flirty smile appeared on your face. “How’d you know that?”

The man shrugged, “I saw you since you walked in tonight, and you looked like you could use a friend. Unless… you are waiting for someone?”

You chuckled softly. “No, I’m not waiting for anyone. It’s just me.” 

“That’s perfect then. I’m Isaac.” The man held out his hand. 

You smiled, shaking his hand as you introduced yourself to him. Isaac was a nice name and maybe this was the universe telling you that Sara was right. You were in the right direction for taking up her advice for once. 

“So, how come a pretty girl like you is all alone here and looking in such a deep thought.” Isaac asked. 

“Oh.” You let out an awkward laugh. “It’s nothing, really.”

“Are you sure?”

Of course not. 

You let out an awkward laugh. “I’m sure. Just zoning out, I guess.”

You could tell Isaac didn’t believe you, but you didn’t care because he wasn’t the solution to your problem, wasn’t? He was just a band aid.

You had one agenda tonight and that was to go out there again just like Sara had advised you to do. You need to go out there and meet new people and maybe find someone good for you. So, you sat there and listened to Isaac talk about himself. You tried your best to not frown the whole time because as much as you were trying hard to really pay attention, you were just bored. It wasn’t like he was a bad guy or anything because he seemed really nice and a good guy unlike the other men you usually meet at the pubs, but you were just not interested at all. 

So, instead, you flirted. 

You flirted to shut him up, and you couldn’t help but think if any of these people online posting about you were looking at you right now and knew what you have been doing with your life, they’d probably call you a slut. At this point, you didn’t care anymore. You were just living your life and those were just labels people tend to put on other people because they got nothing better to do. 

“Do you want to go outside? It’s sort of getting stuffy here.” You said, trailing your hand up to his arm. 

Isaac wasn’t hard to convince as his eyes stared at your hand on his arm before gazing back up at you and nodding his head. Taking your hand in his, he led you out the pub and towards the side of the building where no one could see the both of you. His lips immediately hungrily crashed onto yours as he kissed you. He pressed you against the wall as you let out a soft gasp, his lips trailing down your neck. Your eyes stared up at the night sky, stars twinkling above you as Isaac pulled you closer against him. His soft lips licked and sucked your neck softly, but your mind was somewhere else. You stared up at the night sky and wished on the stars that your feelings for Joe were going to be over soon. When Isaac’s lips found your jawline and then your lips again, you closed your eyes and kissed him back hungrily. 

“Let’s… Let’s go back to my flat.” You whispered, pulling away from him.

You didn’t need to say any more convincing words because Isaac immediately agreed as he took your hand in his and followed you down the street. Isaac had you close to his side the whole time, and you just hoped that Joe wasn’t awake by the time you arrived at your flat. Not that he wasn’t used to you bringing home a man in your flat but for some reason, you didn’t want him to know this time. 

It felt weird just thinking about going home with Isaac, and Joe seeing the two of you.

Not that you cared about his opinion or what he would feel.

Grabbing your keys from your coat pocket, you inserted it in the keyhole of your doorknob, smiling at Isaac as you unlocked the front door.

“Be quiet. My flatmate might be asleep. I don’t want to disturb him.” You whispered, entering your dark and quiet flat. 

Perfect. You thought.

Maybe Joe got bored without you and decided to go out and see Ivy. The thought of him being with her made your stomach turn again as you dragged Isaac down the hall and right before you could even open your bedroom door, Isaac grabbed you by the hips, turning you around and crashing his lips on yours. 

“Shh…” You giggled softly, reaching for the door and opening it as you grabbed him by his collar and pulled him inside your bedroom.

With his foot, Isaac kicked the door close behind him, gentle enough for it to not slam too hard and made a noise. His fingers started working on the buttons of your shirt as he gently pushed you down on the bed and towered over you. Isaac’s knees dug on the mattress on either side of you as you used your elbows to propped yourself up and watched him unbutton your blouse. Sliding your top off, you slid your hand behind his head, pulling him down for a deep and rough kiss. Isaac’s lips trailed down your jawline as you tugged on the hem of his shirt sliding it off of his broad shoulders. 

“Hmm…” You moaned softly, letting his lips trail down between your breasts. 

For a moment, you stared at your ceiling as Isaac sucked on the skin of your neck softly, letting another small gasp escape from you. You felt him smile through the kiss as he slid your bra off and sucked on your nipple, squeezing your other breast with his other hand. You couldn’t help but moan again, closing your eyes as he kissed you again deeply. 

Your mind was spinning as Isaac started unbuttoning your pants, and you didn’t know if it was the alcohol that was running in your system or that your mind started playing tricks because as soon as you pulled away from the kiss and opened your eyes, the blur image of Joe staring right down at you was the only thing that you could see. It was almost like Isaac’s face had glitched in your brain and Joe’s face was now right there in front of you. His chocolate button eyes staring right into yours, and you felt that jar of butterflies open up in your stomach. 

Suddenly, you sobered up quickly. 

“Um…” You used both of your palms on his bare chest to push Isaac away from you. 

“Yea, sweetheart?” Isaac murmured, trying to kiss you on the lips again, but you had turned your head away from him. 

“Um…  hold on.” You slid yourself off your bed, grabbing your bra and blouse and immediately sliding it back on.

What the fuck was happening with you?

“What’s wrong?” Isaac stared at you with worried eyes. 

“I…” You exhaled a sharp breath, picking up Isaac’s clothes from the floor. “I think you should go.”

“Did I do something wrong?”

The poor man. 

It wasn’t him who was the problem. It was you.

If only he could understand what was going through your head right now, but you needed this to stop because what the fuck was that? What the fuck just happened? You didn’t even got the chance to answer him because you were shoving his clothes in his arms, shoved him out of your room and out the door. Isaac was barely putting on his shirt when you closed the door to his face and immediately slid your back on the door. 

“What the fuck?” You cursed under your breath, burying your face in your hands. 

This has never happened to you before. With anyone… ever.

You didn’t feel anything but frustration and confusion. You didn’t even realize how frustrated you were until your hands had slid off your face and your mascara had stained your palms. Tears were rolling down your cheeks because how could you feel this way? Joe only wanted Ivy and that was the plan in the first place. This whole emotional mess you were feeling wasn’t part of it. You were only playing a part. Acting. Pretending. 

That was it. 

You didn’t have the right to feel alone and insulted over Ivy’s friends’ opinion because you were only pretending. 

They didn’t know the real truth,  

You didn’t have the right to feel this way about Joe because all of this was just acting. All of this was fake. You never had to deal with emotions like these before, and you didn’t know what to do with them. You didn’t know if you were just getting carried away by the show that you and Joe kept putting on almost every weekend or all of this was now real.

At this point, jumping off of something tall would hurt less, honestly.

Wiping the mascara filled tears that were staining your cheeks, you slowly pulled your legs close to your chest, your arms wrapping around them as you laid your head on your knees. Even if you told yourself many times that you were fine, and you could do this, how come it still made you feel so alone? Why did it made you feel like shit? Why did you have to agree with this plan in the first place? You were such an idiot. Now look at you.

A godforsaken mess for someone whose eyes were only for one woman, and that woman wasn’t even you. 

This whole thing needed to be stopped. 

Taglist:

@palomahasenteredthechat @sunvick @eddies-acousticguitar @demonsanddemogorgons @joesquinns @mmunson86 @ghostinthebackofyourhead @corrodedcoffincumslut @figmentofquinn @tlclick73 @browneyes8288 @bylermaxmayfield @ali-r3n @ficsbypix @capricornrisingsstuff @missonlypost @ali-in-w0nderland @amberolivia666 @lalalala-melmosworld @niallersfreckles @nanas-lasagna @emma77645 @indulgence-be-thy-name 

[theonceandfuturequeenoftarts]

Thank you for the tag, @mosiva! ♡♡♡

"Self-rec time! What are your favorite five fics that you've written and why? After replying to this ask, feel free to pass on to five other writers to spread the love. 💗"

Four of these were easy choices and one was trickier, but in no particular order...

thrown into the nest (T, 10,565 words, WIP)

This fic possessed me. The first chapter took over my entire life for ten hours during which I came up with and wrote the whole thing -- I couldn't stop until it was done and posted. Two or three days later, the same thing happened with the second chapter. It's like I was exorcising demons into a doc file. It's also notable because maybe a week or two before I wrote it, I told a friend I would never write ABO fic. More fool me.

I love this fic because it drew together so many ace people -- I've never felt a greater sense of community than I did in the hours after this fic was posted, seeing the comments of people who saw themselves in Harry and Tom's experiences. It blew me away, and I felt so happy to have done justice to some small part of the ace experience. It was a different type of joy, and a bit more cathartic, to write compared to other fics of mine.

VII (M, 2,609 words)

I think I've said it before, but I honestly thought this would be one of those weird little fics that I wrote for myself and maybe five other people would like. It's grown beyond what I originally meant it to be, and while I really, really love the sequel too, this one holds my heart. It's disjointed and dark (for me), and it's one of the few that I've written that actually has Harry and Voldemort start out hating each other and move through it. (What can I say, I mainly write crack and fluff.) They're both feral and damaged and violent and cling to each other all the tighter for it by the end. I also like making the Unspeakables ethically (and morally) dubious and research-obsessed, and this was my first foray into that.

naïve melody (G, 2,904 words)

The Ferris wheel fic; another fic that I thought maybe five other people would enjoy. I'm still proud of the wistful tone it has, and some of the turns of phrase, despite the crack-tastic premise. It's sweet and silly and it makes me feel warm to re-read it. It might also be my favourite Voldemort characterisation of all the fics I've written.

engrave the silhouette of you (M, 10,480 words, WIP)

Look... I just like hurting them, okay? I used the "angst with a happy ending" tag because I need everyone (myself included) to know it's gonna be alright in the end. I have made myself a crying mess multiple times in the course of writing or plotting out this fic. This is very much a "how would the characters react in this situation if X happened?" fic that has grown legs. It's fun (and painful) to put myself in Harry and Voldemort's headspaces and then put us all through the emotional meat-grinder. But it's going to be fine. Eventually.

Capsized (M, 948 words)

Fun, not-previously-shared fact: this fic started out as a way for me to process my maladaptive daydreams and suicidal ideations through Harry. All of the things he imagines or considers are things that I have, as well. (This makes the one comment that says "MAKE HIM SUFFER YASSSS" really, really funny to me.) I wasn't sure if I would ever post it -- it took me five months to decide to do it, because it's extremely personal. But it felt good to put it all into words and make it... "pretty," I guess? It's probably as raw as I can make it while also trying to fit it into the HP world and have it be enjoyable to read.

(Honourable mention goes to Prompt-ober 2023, because it almost killed me to do it, but it was so much fun to write everyday for a month and have the same folks comment each day and chat with them throughout the month (I love you all ♡♡♡). However, that's like twenty-five different fics in one, so it doesn't count.)

Tagging @liquidluckandstuff, @i-dream-of-libraries, @toast-ranger-to-a-stranger, @aglassroseneverfades, and @hikarimeroperiddle

No pressure, do it if it will be a fun distraction! ♡♡♡

(Note: I recently locked my account to registered users only because of an AI scraper targetting Ao3. If you don't have an account and would like to read any of the above, just send me a message and I'll provide a file ♡)

[flymetosnarryland]

GTFO.

Did anyone miss Muggle London like I did? 🙃

This series as a part of "Infraction" has grown incredibly. It helped me understand a lot about things I want to write and made me think about "Infraction" as... well, my first real baby, lol. I wrote one Snarry, "Oblivion" already, but I take that story as testing the waters. I tried to know Harry and Severus, placing them in situation close to, eh, something that happened to me in a way. It means a lot to me and I'm proud of myself that I managed to write a fic from the start to the end.

"Infraction" on the other hand... this one is going to be really FAT piece of work and I'm excited over the moon about it. First chapter and the first part of second already landed on Ao3, but when am I going to finish the next part of it? (If anyone is interested at all, because I personally don't touch unfinished pieces, knowing how it works 🤣)

Well, to be honest, I decided to not rush it. Not because I don't know what to write. The main outline of the story has 40k+ words. It appeared that planning a series of murders is not so easy 😂 especially when the politics are part of it (I mean, Merlin... that's the last thing I thought I will EVER write, lol) and on top of that I have some complicated relationships (or, I suppose, a cherry on molten chocolate cake 🤤). Which makes me shiver and scream, that much I want to jump into writing it again. But the more I am thinking about the plot and fitting everything I need into it (of course writing it down), the more I'm surprised that I am able to figure out something that seems damn complex to me and my three brain cells 😂 I want to be proud of this story. I want it to be... maybe not perfect, but as good as I can see, it can be. And I enjoy the idea of growing as hobby writer. It makes me really happy. Also it's my first serious CRIME story. I know I said before that I always wanted to write crime. I always thought though it's out of my range, you know, I'm too dumb to bring something interesting that other people could possibly like as I do. But with this story I'm trying new things (like bringing Marauders to life), I'm thinking in advance, I'm on both sides: the detective and the serial killer and... GOSH. I really think it will have sense and be worth to waste some time on reading it, lol!

Also there is Snarry AUctoberfest on the way and, you know, I decided I'll try to write something for the fest for the first time! (It's my year of many first times and I really like it!) Funny thing, it appears that my fic for the fest will be a little test to what I want to do with "Infraction." When it occured to me (don't ask how it happen, but the idea I've had in mind turned 180 degree and I couldn't help it! Had to just go for it 😂) I was stunned. But in the same way it's a great opportunity to try new things, see how it will go and how it will work before I'll jump back to my baby.

If anyone checked "Infraction", please don't be mad or sad or... disappointed or angry (?), that I'm not updating it yet. This fic is absolutely my main focus and I'm tinkering and working on it. As for everything, I need time (and probably cut some other projects while I will write it; so less drawing going to be main part of the writing process 🙃 I suppose in the last quarter of the year; except if I'll have my holiday from work!)

Ah, dang. I wrote a lot here, I suppose? Less shite than messy personal stuff, but still something I guess, I wanted to share? Even if I think it's pointless and worthless, because who cares, lol. I'm learning, trying to share, I think. I should, as I wasn't doing it at all and it suppose to help me to... leave the shell of person that other people think I am. Because I grew to be someone irl that I'm really tired of being. Of pretending to be. How stupid it all sounds it's beyond me and I still deny to admit it.

[wajjs]

I think the funniest things that could happen if Hal fucked Kyle and Wally are the ensuing mental breakdowns.

Wally is developing catholic guilt in a non-catholic way about it and it doesn’t stop him per se, but it drives him nuts.

I could see Kyle using Roy as like a way to confess because there’s no way he’s telling any sane person, but he also can’t tell Guy because that’d be a whole thing. I feel like Roy would be the type of friend to get dragged into this type of shit all the time.

Hal would not spend a second dwelling on any of this. He would not unpack or try to process anything about it until months after. He is deeply unwell and about to get drunk and burst and about to unload it all on some poor random bartender.

Wally is going crazy. Which is not a rare thing, but it is a thing nonetheless, and it is happening to him, to Wally, which in turn affects Kyle, and Kyle does not like that. He does not like that one bit.

Wally is going crazy. He's vibrating through the walls faster than he can eat to replenish his energy. Well. Almost faster. Even in the midst of a crisis Wally doesn't forget to keep up with his needed calory intake.

Kyle drums his trimmed fingernails over his phone screen, waiting for Roy to answer to his text. Of course Roy takes three to seven business day to reply. Of course. Typical Roy, to always be busy with his own things to get back to them when they are having a crisis the size and shape of one Hal Jordan who casually sneaked out the window when no one was looking.

"It's just," Wally starts with the exact same phrase he's used to start his previous ten sentences. "He's my uncle!"

Kyle's right eyebrow twitches. "So?"

"I fucked my uncle!"

"He's not really—" his phone buzzes. Kyle lifts his index finger, ordering Wally to wait, which of course makes Wally irate, because as Kyle checks the notification to see it's spam, Wally is also snatching Kyle's phone and throwing it on the messy covers all bundled up at the end of the bed. "Hey!"

"I fucked my uncle, Kyle!" Wally screams at him, and it is also when Kyle realizes it's kind of funny that they're still naked with Hal's jizz cooling up their asses. "I fucked a guy!"

"Well, that's an improvement from uncle." Kyle leans back until he's back to laying down on the bed. "So you fucked a dude. What's the big deal? We fuck all the time."

Turning around, Wally starts the process of looking for his clothes. "You don't count."

"I don't count," Kyle nods first, thinks the words through after. "HEY. What do you mean, I don't count?!"

"You're just some idiot!" He's got his pants on and his underwear in his hands. Kyle glares at him, sitting back up again, and throws a drooled on pillow at his face. "Hal is! Hal is... he's Hal."

Kyle huffs, rolling his eyes as he does. "Big deal. He left us without even a wet towel to clean ourselves with. I'm still here, aren't I?"

"You were just texting Roy. I saw."

"Yeah, but I'm here. Hal isn't."

"I wouldn't stay here with you either."

That's it. Kyle jumps at Wally, hands aimed at his throat, and they both fall to the ground with one loud and painful thump!

[diviningrodtv]

Oh yeah, NSH Time.

I've been holding this post back for like a week😅

I absolutely love how NSH came out and I think he's currently my favourite rain world model that I've done! (Sorry Pebbles, I'm going to upgrade you later anyway :]

I also made his scarf easily removable so you can see how the stripes aren't just on his head! The stripes and his irises also glow, but a bit brighter than the areas on Five Rotten Pebbles.

His antennae are pretty similar to how I did Sliver's, especially considering I did his first! XD They're separated from his head a bit.

Also if you've noticed in my art that his eyes are the exact same as in the model here, that's because they are! I tried finding a way to draw them how I usually might, but I just couldn't get the same vibe! So I said, "Fuck it!" and I've been drawing over his model ever since XD

NSH is also who I used to make the "umbilical arm" model! So if you saw those posts, that's why the textures are all messed up!

And here it is in all it's glory!

It's mostly made of ball joints with a flexible joint attached to the back. The last segment also twists just like your forearm bones!

Also..... lore shit below cause I have, plans™ so-

If you don't want to know why NSH is acting strange on my blog yet, read no further!

(there's also some downpour spoilers, and some other disturbing things)

*slaps top of can* This bad boy can fit so much fucking insanity in him. (cw: self-harm yeah you heard me)

If you haven't figured it out already (I did drop hints :) NSH's structure is damaged! His legs are giving out because a group of scavengers thought it would be funny to transport all of their explosives at once.

So he's in a bit of a pickle!

This is when Looks to the Moon and Five Pebbles' communication tower is repaired! During their first conversation in a very long time, NSH finds out about good ol' Hunter long legs, and is rightfully distraught! He feels like a total failure, that he wasn't experienced enough to properly create his messenger.

That's what this whole post was about!

But, experience is something that can be gained.

NSH figured if Five Pebbles was able to leave his can, then he should be able to as well, but that requires solving the three problems I mentioned in the Five Rotten Pebbles post:

The self-genome modification barrier,

A general lack of puppet central brain matter, and

No material processing within the puppet.

I'll talk about my umbilical lore for this AU here since it's relevant.

Either the "cord" or the "arm" can be disconnected, but not both. This is for ease of repair by administrators. Disconnecting them both would leave the unfortunate Iterator fully functional. Although, they would be blind in the visible spectrum (apart from overseers), unable to speak directly to someone in their chamber, and would otherwise have their workflow be severely impaired. They would effectively be trapped in their own head.

NSH realised that even if the barriers existed, they could still have the intentions, to break them. So what would happen, if he broke one? Not by writing it out of his system, Five Pebbles already proved how risky that method was, but instead by setting his actions in motion faster than any barrier could stop them? This was something to test, and wasn't that what Iterators were built to do anyway?

Umbilicals can only be disconnected by administrators, but what if he were to do it anyway? He needed to leave his can after all, it wouldn't be much of a loss if he was stuck on the floor of his chamber or floating aimlessly in zero gravity for a while.....

So what if he just ran fast enough to rip himself off?

What if he moved his arm back at the last second, could he gain enough inertia to pull it out of his back? Even if it took a few tries?

What other choices does he have? Perfect Five Pebbles' method until he collapses and continue even then? He had time, but not enough for that, and The Hunter certainly did not have any time for waiting around. NSH had to fix his mistake, he had to.

So this bastard goes and does exactly that, and short-circuits his entire system.

Not just breaking the umbilical maintenance barrier, but every other one in the process.

And it all hurts like hell.

But that's the first problem solved, and now he can help keep himself afloat longer. So that now, he can figure out how to solve the other two problems with precision.

Of course, the others won't like any of these plans, but, after what Five Pebbles did, they wouldn't dare disturb him if he stopped responding, right?

And maybe, he could even hijack their communications array, to look for help.

>:]

yeah so NSH is not sane

[cassberry]

(Looking to watch 3rd Life, Last Life or Double Life? Here you go!)

If you are looking for a guide of some Limited Life episodes to catch up on for no particular reason at all (certainly not a new season being around the corner), I've got you covered!

Now I'm not going to lie, trying to curate this list for Limited Life broke me. The mechanics of this season meant that you gained time by killing other players and in doing so it felt like 50 things were happening all at once constantly across the server. As such I haven't been able to get absolutely everything onto this list, but I did try my best to get all the important events and a wide range of perspectives!

WARNING: Incredibly long read more where I go over why I picked certain POV's and what to expect. I do so love to ramble. Spoilers ahead!

SESSION ONE

Skizz - Breaking from tradition from recommending Grian first because you need to watch Skizz's POV first out of everyone unspoiled. The way things unraveled this episode felt like a sitcom in the best and worst ways lol 

Grian - Just a good solid first episode honestly and with the start of the Bad Boys™ how can you not love it. 

Scar -  I really have no words for whatever is the dynamic of the Clockers because you really just have to see it to understand. It’s a fun episode and as Scar, Cleo and Bdubs have set up near spawn, you always get to see something interesting. 

Big B - Big B’s episodes are always a treat as he does super long ones that give you a little more insight into what's happening on the server, rather than just the big events. But if you wanted something specific to watch, his last 10 minutes of this episode were a blast. 

SESSION TWO

Joel - Bad Boys Bread Bridge was both the most amazing and ugliest build on the server and I’m so glad it was made. Also Joel gets some amazing kills this episode that are so tense to watch. 

Martyn - Look this one is here because of a little personal bias. Martyn shouts me out in the episode so I couldn’t not add it lol It’s also a very good episode in of itself in that it introduces the Mean Gills and I’ll always be a Mean Gills supporter. Also that Tilly roast? oof 

Pearl - Pearl is constantly on the move this episode and living up to her Nosy Neighbour title so watch her episode if you want some good gossip and to see the lay of the land. 

Tango - Tango always delivers a solid episode and as he was building the TIES Tower a majority of the time he receives a lot of foot traffic through the area creating some fun interactions. 

SESSION THREE

Scar - And in this episode of Limited Life, Scar rediscovers the joys of minecart TNT. 

Impulse - Impulse is such a fun boogey to watch, and the way he edited this episode around his thought process of who to kill was great. 

Grian - Kind of a different episode this session as Grian was sick so he was afk the entire time. It was very very very funny to watch, but as he wasn’t interacting with anyone you’re going to miss a lot of context if you only watch his POV. You should still give this a watch though! 

Joel - Watching poor Joel run around after Grian trying to keep him safe was incredibly entertaining lmao 

SESSION FOUR

Scott - I believe Grian said it best, but this session felt like a final session with the way the yellows were chasing after the greens. It was pure chaos the entire time and Scott beautifully evading them all until his descent into yellow was perfection. 

Tango - Tango is here for the same reason as Scott but as the last green the final hunt for him was terrifying to watch. 

Cleo - I love Cleo’s episodes and this one was just a joy. She was slightly sick this week but I feel like that only lowered her inhibitions to do some out of pocket stuff. 

Jimmy - The exciting saga of Judge Judy and Executioner continues in Jimmy’s episode this week and if you didn’t know anything about it, that's ok! Neither did anyone else on the server except for Jimmy, Pearl and Big B lmao consider this the best episode to watch if you want this plotline covered. 

SESSION FIVE 

Etho - Considering the episode starts off with Etho having to babysit Bdubs, then an awkward family dinner and an explosive game of catch, I really couldn’t have asked for a better Etho video. 

Big B - This session was a lot more calm than the previous, so there was a lot more alliance talk happening. Big B has a great perspective on all that as he and Pearl get up to a tonne of mischief that causes some problems with some alliances they already had. 

Scott - Once again this was an alliance building week and Scott’s episode really highlights some of the more fun things that happened to make and break some relationships. 

Grian - Poor Bread Bridge o7 you will be missed. Thankfully M-Rye 5 was there at the end to rain chaos from above. (<-sentences that make no sense out of context) 

SESSION SIX 

Cleo & Pearl - I couldn’t choose between either of these two this session. Both Cleo and Pearl were out sick so they handed over their accounts to two other players. I won’t spoil who they are but these episodes were amazing. 

Jimmy - The Bad Boys were going through it this week goddamn lol It never stops being funny how much of a mess everything becomes when they get together. 

Martyn - It was his birthday this session and he’s just a little guy! Surely nothing would go wrong at his birthday party? And certainly not caused by him! 

Tango - The last half of Tango’s episode is just a comical amount of deaths that only get funnier and funnier as the time between them shortens. 

SESSION SEVEN

Skizz - Oh Skizz. You are too good for this world. His ending for this episode was heartbreaking and Affirmation Station will live on in my heart forever.

Scott - I love watching Scott run around the map and hunt people down because he is so good at the game! I believe he had the highest kill count this session and I loved every minute of it. 

Joel - (Major Spoilers) Ah Joel it just wasn’t meant to be! But hearing the desperation in his voice grow higher and higher as the clock ticked down was nail biting. Scar - Just a good Scar episode honestly! Shows what the Clockers are up to during all the chaos and a great view of the server devolving into anarchy.

SESSION EIGHT 

Martyn - WOOOO YESSSS LETS GOOOOOO (<- does that count as spoilers???)

I distinctly remember being on the edge of my seat this whole episode and Martyn delivers in every way possible for a fantastic final episode of the season. 

Impulse - I haven’t mentioned it yet but Impulse’s editing this season went wild and it's none more apparent than in this episode. He and his team went crazy for the finale. 

Etho - Such a fun episode!! The twist at the end with the diamond sword coming into play was everything I could have wanted and more. 

Pearl - It was really a toss up between Pearl and Scott for this last spot, but I loved her perspective for the one last minigame on the server. 

BONUS 

Bdubs - Do you have a spare 12 hours to dedicate to Limited Life? Then oh boy does Bdubs have a video for you! Instead of weekly videos he decided to collate all his episodes into one mammoth video which was an absolute blast to watch over a weekend! It’s a really interesting POV to watch because when LimLife was airing Bdubs would just appear all over the map and we never had any idea what he was doing so it was awesome to have some concrete evidence of his shenanigans. Definitely give this one a watch if you’re in the mood for a marathon! 

IN SUMMARY…

I swear if the next season is as messy as this one, I think I’m going to have to start taking notes when it's airing because I think this took years off my life haha if you think I’ve missed anything please tag it because I would love to see it! I definitely could have added more POV’s per session like I did with the Last Life and 3rd Life guides, but I think a more curated list helps keep down the overwhelming nature of trying to watch a million Limited Life episodes. 

But really, I loved watching Limited Life live so I’m glad I give myself an excuse each new season to go back and watch the season over again. There are so many little foreshadowed moments that you don’t see on the first watch and honestly it all just makes me more excited for the new season! Thanks for reading <3

[iris-sistibly]

My final take on Queen of Tears? It was a one hell of a fucking journey + Thoughts on the finale

[Warning: Long-ass post ahead]

Queen of Tears released its final episode last Sunday, April 28. The show made history as it became tvN’s most watched drama, surpassing the 2019 hit Crash Landing on You. Park Ji-eun was the writer for both shows.

The story is about a couple who underwent a crisis in their third year of marriage. However, a significant event will not only change their lives but also pave the way for them to rediscover their love for each other. 

I personally got hooked into this show for three reasons:

First, the plot: Marriage tropes in a lot of dramas are usually about infidelity, toxic and abusive relationships that end in a nasty divorce. It happens in real life sadly, but I appreciate the fact that Park Ji-eun took a different route and gave us another realistic side of marriage. A couple who once had this warm, passionate love for each other became cold and distant over time because of one tragic event that left them wounded and broken. There were also other factors that added salt to the wound which caused them to drift further from one another. I’m not gonna go into details because I have already discussed this in earlier episodes. However, I love that there were a couple of flashbacks that tells the viewers of how their love story began, plus some extra bits and pieces in the epilogue that were either related to Hyun-woo and Hae-in’s past, or a particular scene in the current episode that was told from either of the character’s point of view. 

Switching from light and funny scenes to a more intense one then back to swoon-worthy moments and then the last thing you knew you were bawling your eyes out because of the heartbreaking scenes felt like a roller coaster ride, needless to say I was always on edge and I sometimes had to pause in the middle of the episode so I could breathe. That’s how intense the emotions were in this show. Like I have said before, this is not a rom-com but more like a heavy drama with a couple of light and funny scenes.

But the part in this story that appealed to me the most is that it will make you question, how much love can someone truly give? How far can you go to be with the person you love? And when everything seems black and white, would you be willing to stay? Or walk away? 

Second, the characters: Immediately, I was drawn to Baek Hyun-woo and Hong Hae-in. Usually in KDramas, it’s always the male lead who is cool, cold, nonchalant and rich af and the girl is the bubbly, cutesy-cutesy, overly dramatic, and broke. I absolutely LOVE the role reversal. Hae-in is the cool and badass wife while Hyun-woo is the cute, dramatic hubby and together, they make an ✨iconic couple✨. But on a more serious note, a lot of characters nowadays are into the red light/green light spectrum and don’t get me wrong, I love it. Who doesn’t love a green light character right? But again, Park Ji-eun wrote them in such a way that you wouldn’t perceive them as this ultra-perfect, no flaw character, but they aren’t toxic either (except for the main villains of course). A lot of the characters in the show have a good and flawed side, and I love it because that’s what makes them human, they are multi-layered which makes them complex, but at the same time, they were written in such a way that the viewers could have a deeper understanding of the characters, and even relate to them in some ways. 

Again with the exception of the villains, the character developments were so good. Witnessing this whole-ass process of them being flawed and broken characters to becoming the best versions of themselves were just the best.  

Third, the cast: Ah, I can go on and on about how every actor in this show was absolutely amazing! Again, Kim Soo-hyun has proven why he is Korea’s highest paid actor. I love that he can switch from this handsome, smart, and sexy lawyer, to a super cute, loving hubby, and then a man who would fight for his woman no matter what it takes. BITCH! The acting range of this guy is fucking LIMITLESS! As for Kim Ji-won, this is by far her best acting performance in my opinion. Hong Hae-in was such a difficult character to portray, but I love how she was able to effortlessly deliver Hae-in’s stoic, nonchalant exterior and when you look into her eyes you’ll see that vulnerable part of her that no one else except [her husband] sees. 

SooWon’s chemistry on the other hand is GOD-TIER! They were born to play Baek Hyun-woo and Hong Hae-in. Whether it’s a funny, romantic, or heavy scene, they nailed it to perfection! These two are the most married couple I have seen in a show. I feel sad that I’m not gonna see them together on-screen for sometime but I am hoping that they’d be able to work together again in the future. Although my delulu self is manifesting for them to be together irl 😂🤧

Park Sung-hoon, I have said before that he is so good at playing a villain. But I hope he gets to show his ability to portray a nice guy in the future, I need a break from him playing evil. 

Kwak Dong-yeon and Lee Joo-bin’s performances as the second couple deserve to be applauded as well. Despite their characters going through crazy shit, I love that they were able to deliver it on a lighter, heartwarming note in contrast to SoWoon’s heavier scenes.

Special mentions to the following 🗣️:

The Official Playlist of the Show- When I tell you that I have listened to every song in this playlist, I really mean it. I don’t understand the language, but everytime I hear a song from QOT, I can instantly imagine a particular scene from the show, that’s how magical it is. My most replayed song is The Reasons of my Smiles by BSS, but I also love Heize’s Hold me back, and the song that makes me the most emotional: Love you with all my heart by Crush. 

The cinematography: I’m not gonna go into details about the technicalities, but everything was perfectly shot, especially the scenes in Germany–it was dreamy, romantic, and beautiful. 

The crew members who worked behind the camera also need to be praised for the hard work, effort, and dedication they’ve put into making this show. 

There are things however about the show that I didn’t personally like or I think they could have done better. Here’s the link of why I think the storyline isn’t as good as I thought it would be: 

The final episode didn’t turn out the way I hoped it would be, although there were some parts of it that were really good like:

📍 Cheon Da-hye and Grace choosing to take accountability for their past actions (also Grace being the key player in bringing Mo Seul-hee down was the cherry on top) and has been given another chance to live honestly was one of the best character redemptions. 

📍The Hong family reclaiming what’s rightfully theirs, that was such a powerful scene.

📍Hyun-woo and Hae-in looking at each other after Mo Seul-hee was proven guilty for killing Hong Man-dae and all the other bullshits she did to Queens and the Hong family, as if saying, “It’s finally over,” and they did it together was so power couple coded. 

📍Aunt Beom-ja and husband #4 [really] taking their time to get to know each other…like literally. Her facial expression when Yeong-seong kissed her on the cheek instead of the lips like she was expecting was GOLD.

📍Mama and Papa Hong choosing a simpler and quieter life and hanging out with their besties (Mama and Papa Baek).

📍The family portrait of the Hong and Baek family 🥹

📍Hyun-woo and Hae-in taking their time to rebuild their relationship, then goes on to get married and have a baby, then visiting Germany every so often was the most heartwarming scene. 

📍I would say that the ending was a bittersweet one. Hae-in’s premonition came true, she died first and Hyun-woo never failed to visit her grave, and then eventually reuniting was one of the most realistic endings in a Kdrama. They lived a good life, they built a family, grew old together and reunited in the afterlife was beautiful but there was a certain ache in that part, perhaps a reminder that no matter how painful it gets, there is always a silver lining, and if you’re meant to be, you’re meant to be.

However, in addition to my linked post:

📍The first half of the story started really strong, but it dwindled the moment they added all of these ridiculous subplots. One Tumblr user commented that Hyun-woo and Hae-in’s marriage had enough issues as far as drama is concerned and I couldn’t agree more. 

📍I get that Mo Seul-hee is a shitty person but I don’t even know why she chose to prey on Hong Man-dae of all people. She could have done the same to other wealthy families (I mean he’s not the only gullible man out there with tons of money), but the question is, what did the Hong family do to her? Surely, there must have been a deeper meaning than just wanting money but alas, it's a question we'll probably never get an answer too.

📍The good thing is that we now fully understand why Yoon Eun-seong acted the way he did. He has mommy issues, abandonment issues, anger issues, etc. My prediction about him dying in the finale was correct, but there was no character redemption for him thus I don’t see the point on why they had to extend his Hae-in obsession arc towards the end. Take out all the irrelevant subplots, and the story still would have worked.

📍One of my biggest frustrations in the show was the fact that they only addressed BaekHong’s miscarriage after Hae-in lost her memories when they could have done that in the earlier episode (the scene where Hyun-woo and Hae-in had a heart-to-heart conversation about their failed marriage), it’s like the writer forgot about that part–which by the way was such a crucial part then she just inserted this scene somewhere in the finale. 

📍I was also disappointed that Hae-in's mom wasn't the one who comforted her during that scene where Hyun-woo was undergoing surgery after getting shot. It would have been such a perfect opportunity to heal their relationship. Also, I would have appreciated it if Mama Hong was the one who personally apologized to Hyun-woo for being harsh towards him.

📍I know I said that the ending was a more realistic one, but babes we were ROBBED! I would have loved to see a BaekHong wedding part 2, their pregnancy journey and moments with baby Soo-bin but alas, we were deprived of that too. As much as I find the finale realistic, I wouldn’t say that I was satisfied either.

📍I just remembered this now, but Papa Hong's and Aunt Beom-ja's other sibling could have actually contributed to ending the villain arc. He could have made moves to unravel Seul-hee and Eun-seong's crap, but idk writer-nim just placed him there just because 🤷.

Overall, do I think that this show is over hyped? Storywise, yes. As far as the actors’ performances go, they deserve it. 

Is the show worth watching? I’d say it’s worth checking out if you’re someone who likes heavy, intense dramas. If not, avoid this. Again, this is not a light rom-com. 

Would I rewatch? For BaekHong, yes but I’ll skip the irrelevant parts.

Ratings:

Performance: 100/10

OST: 10/10

Cinematography, Editing, etc.: 10/10

Story-telling: 6/10

[thesnailtail]

hello neutual (new mutual). the idea of your MMJ -> Niigo genreswap is eating at my brain . I'm incredibly interested

;; hello neutual!!!!

;; is this an invitation to infodump? im taking this as an invitation to infodump :3

;; more more jump! the anonymous music circle who's members hide away from the public.

;; jist of everything is that minori "rinrin" starts composing to improve her abilities in idol auditions (don't question it), then (in order) airi "riri" gets roped in as the mv maker, then shizuku "rook" as the artist and after a whole lotta plot and sekai shenanigans, haruka "ruka" as the lyricist.

;; their personalities and whatnot are mostly the same. minori is super energetic and hopeful, for all except three hours of the day where she's the opposite (luckily she's usually asleep), haruka is haruka except sleep deprived and the guilt complex is worse, talking to airi is a 50/50 on whether she'll glare at you or walk away and shizuku... we'll get to that.

;; their sekai is the fairytale sekai and it's basically a massive forest, except for the one massive clearing that has a stage. except the stage is not in good condition..

;; each vocaloid is based off of a different fairytale thing. miku (princess) and luka (witch) are their starting vocaloids, but (in order) rin (some sorta forest spirit-esque thing) shows up in colour of myself, meiko (mythical creature tamer) shows up in you deserve it! break time!, kaito (royalty) shows up for worldwide wander and len (also some sorta forest spirit-esque thing) shows up at some other point that i haven't decided.

;; the order of events is slightly shuffled, only because colour of myself needs to be first. because colour of myself is the "shizuku quit your job" event. did i mention that she didn't quit during the main story? yeah she never gets the push she needs to quit and stays there. -> because the cloverdamned turning point quote is haruai

;; which leads back to the "and shizuku... we'll get to that." comment. yeah she's not doing well. she's been balancing work and these meetings (one of which she enjoys and finds comfort in. hint: it isn't the one involving her groupmates who hate her) so she's stressed, dealing with perfectionism and all that.

;; at some point in colour of myself, minori gets really sick and shizuku is very iffy about it. (her and rin were witness to minori starting her "sekai research", part one of which was to eat plants in the sekai. something bad happened.) that's the most random fact anyway continuing on

;; minori solves her problems in every event by getting a whole lot of sugar in her system, acting like 'normal' then sugar crashing at about four am. which is when she sleeps for three hours or just cries for no discernable reason. then she repeats this at seven am.

;; group relationship wise is funny because. minori is more chill about being in a group with the other three (having worked out their identities way before they all worked out each others and having time to process that).

;; so minoharu is along the lines of "ruka-chan responds to my kindness with trust issues. what do i do"

;; minoai is airi daring minori to do dumb stuff and minori doing it then airi getting incredibly concerned as she injures herself in more and more unhinged ways

;; and minoshizu is "[says anything]" "yeah, same".

;; haruai are attempting to murder each other at any given point. i would be joking but one of their first interactions (that ive written) in sekai is: "oh are you not gonna say hello to your groupmate momoi?" "go fuck yourself." "id rather not."

;; harushizu are looking at each other's situations and going "at least mine isn't that bad". <- they are both bad in different ways

;; shizuai is shizuai. airi is the main encourager for shizuku getting out of cheerful*days and shizuku is the number one fan of airi.

;; all of them are clingy, in very different ways. minori just needs to be able to hear them over call or see them and she's happy. shizuku will just grab onto people (airi or minori usually). airi and haruka act like they aren't clingy but panic if they haven't heard anything from one of their groupmates in a day.

;; this au is where the minoshizu part of this fic came from!