#threads ⋆˙ neal caffrey

[entriprises]

“it’s been a while since i’ve been home here.” neal plucks a plush toy off the floor, it rattling as he raises it with a grin. “not satchmo’s i take it?”

still, the burke home has retained everything he loved about it. the paint on the walls is the same, as is the dining table, though neal runs his hand over the wood just to be sure it feels the same too. it does.

“i thought about you guys every day. i wondered what it would’ve been like if i stuck around here, just stayed in new york.” he knows it’s not an apology, it doesn’t even come close to the whole of what he feels he owes peter, and el, for yet another con. but he couldn’t take the risk. not when it would’ve meant a much worse, more dangerous reality for the rest of them. he knows that, even if he spent so many nights wondering about a different series of events. it had to be the way that it was. it was a final atonement, the ultimate sacrifice, leaving behind all that he had. it feels overwhelming to be surrounded by it all again. 

send me a number from 1-100 for a starter based on that song or send a 🎁 for me to shuffle ‧₊˚ @strangewonderful sent #98 for peter & neal -- i am not who i was by chance peña 

[entriprises]

"i was thinking more bones or, uh, olivia benson." he knows little about the actual personalities of either of the names he puts out there, but he knows what they are, and what she is: people in law enforcement. he gestures again at all the people around them -- other people in law enforcement of some kind. "unless you're not with them..." unlikely, from everything about her, but he'll let her surprise him.

it doesn't matter to him the specifics of her job, not really, because at the end of the day all the abbreviations and acronym organizations are more or less the same. still, he's nosey. "so are you like," his eyes sort of glow with enthusiasm and interest. there's something almost fan-like about it. "cia? nsa?" they're not fbi-- the fbi has sort of become a specific type to him. they're always recognizable, and they wear jackets to announce themselves. horrible for security, if you ask neal. anybody could easily impersonate an fbi agent.

She's going to assume that what he pours back into the display actually is all of what he took. To be honest, if he did steal a few, she wouldn't be particularly upset - the only reason she cares much at all is the chance it would make her job harder. As long as he's not taking anything from people who need it, steal away. Either way, she's not going to probe right now.

She leans just as easily into a practiced ease, relaxed body language and slightly-playful smiles. A performance, a fun bit of play. It's one of the only ways to make events like this bearable, if not enjoyable, pretending to be someone else. Messing with people a bit, if the mood strikes.

There's a small scoff, furrowed brows and a grin. "Who do you think I am?" Some sort of detective, solving cases, investigating stolen items? Or has he simply caught on to her job? If he has, he has the wrong idea about what exactly it usually entails. For her, anyways. "Sherlock Holmes?"

[lcstpaths]

❝ IT WAS A FLESH WOUND, ❞  which didn’t exactly make it better. she was pretty sure that pulling a trigger on the love of her life wasn’t exactly incorporated within the  to have and to hold  section of their vows.  ❝ yeah but...scars are sexy. ❞  she aimed for lightness, giving him a brief, bright, somewhat apologetic smile as she stepped closer.  ❝ and chicks dig scars. ❞  lifting her hands, caroline tentatively examined the wound, exhaling in a small bit of relief when she realized that the blood had mostly stopped. but he was right. they had to figure this out --- because shooting him? not exactly a pleasant experience. her hand shifted, cupping his cheek, thumb stroking apologetically over the cut of his cheekbone.  ❝ i mean we could...fake our own death? change names? move to the suburbs somewhere and get a dog? ❞

ONE OF HIS EYEBROWS QUIRKS UP AS HE LOOKS AT HER, though try as he might, there's a bit of a twitch at the corners of his lips. It's hard not to laugh, really, when she was trying to defend her actions by saying scars were sexy. Did it make sense? Maybe a bit - but they both knew that it didn't really change the facts of their situation. "Oh yeah? Do you dig scars?" One of his hands rests lightly on her waist, pulling her that bit closer as a long sigh falls from his lips. Leaning his head in, he ghosts his lips over hers before he bites the inside of his cheek. "What would we do with our new lives, hm? It's never gonna be that easy." Not without money. And yeah, he's been stockpiling in hidden accounts for years, all for the day they're going to escape this life, but he wants that to be a surprise. "We'd drive each other crazy in the suburbs. I'd start an HOA war with housewives down the street."

@seesgood continued from here.

[czytling]

CM x DC day 2 @criminalmindsxdc

Meta!BAU Agent || FBI Fitness Test/Certification || Attending a Wayne Gala || "What kind of nickname is ...?"

Also Day 4 prompt Double Crossover

Criminal Minds x Batman x White Collar

------

Since apparently this whole week will be me changing the style to experimentail, this one is a cross between meta, 3-4 sentence fic, and pick your own adventure.

-----

All-division testing day

The all-division FBI testing day happens roughly every two years and involves all divisions being tested simultaneously and against each other, much different compared to more frequent in-division testing days, where it is one or two divisions at the same time. Now, normally, this would be the fun day everyone is waiting for, but for the two Bats undercover in their teams, it is nervewracking. Not only do they have to show appropriate skill level while hiding their true, much more advanced skills, but also they have to do it while another bat is watching - batspar in middle of FBI precint is unthinkable, and the odds are small enough that they won't have to fight one another, right? Right???

Choose your BAU undercover agent:

Tim Drake as Spencer Reid: go to options starting with A

Dick Grayson: options B

Damian Wayne: options C

Choose your White Collar agent, undercover as Neal Caffrey:

Dick Grayson: suboption 1

Jason Todd: 2

Tim Drake: 3

Damian Wayne: 4

----

Options A1, B2, B3, B4, and C1 are actually likely to maintain their covers successfully. Good job.

Option A1/B3:

Spar proceeds mostly normally. FBI are impressed by how decent their agents/CIs are. There is a bit of confusion due to following exchange afterwards: "Good job Baby bird!" "Thanks dick ... for brains!" What kind of nicknames are those?

Option B2:

Spar proceeds mostly normally, though there is some more viciousness than expected, maybe they had to deal with each other in the past as cop/criminal? Suddenly Spencer!Dick exclaims: "Careful there Little Wing!" and is met with uncharacteristically rude answer from Neal: "Fuck off, Dickhead!" What kind of nicknames are those even?

Option B4/C1:

Spar proceeds mostly normally, it is most like true spar instead of a fight. FBI are impressed by how good their agents/CIs are. There is a bit of confusion due to following exchange afterwards: "Nicely done Baby bat!" "Tt. You went easy on me, Ri... dick". Baby bat? Riddick? What kind of nicknames are those even?

-------

Now to more dramatic options:

Option A2:

Neal!Jason: Oh no.

Peter: It will be okay Neal.

Spencer!Tim, knowing that Jason can't fight at anywhere near his real level: at first opportunity when Jason is falling next to him due to very effective bodyslam followed by a series of 'accidentally' extremely brutal takedowns and broken nose, with extreme menance: "This is for the Titans Tower".

It is not "okay".

Option A4:

Neal!Damian: I will not be bested by this weakling!

Spencer!Tim, through his teeth: We need to maintain plausible deniability.

The only reason why the FBI doesn't look like a slaughterhouse after that fight is that weapons were not allowed. The covers are holding by a thread, Tim at least has some explanation in form of childhood bootcamp, but Damian the nonviolent conman is in deep trouble; as is Peter Burke, who somehow didn't notice for nearly two years that his CI is extremely violent when pushed.

Option C2:

Some LoA techniques are used. Everyone is fine, the spar went well, their bruises barely have any bruises and no bones are broken. What do you mean we need to answer a series of uncomfortable questions about our skillets, i didn't see anything violent at all?!

Option C3: basically option A4, except for excuses in aftermath.

Spencer!Damian has to explain a bit about his childhood in murder cult. BAU is a bit frustrated they hadn't connected the dots themselves, but are nice and understanding. Neal!Tim manages Peter Burke's questioning much better than Neal!Damian would and nearly manages to make everyone forget what they saw. Nearly.

[penna-nomen]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

thanks for the tag @a-noble-dragon

How many works do you have on ao3?

78

What’s your total ao3 word count?

934,082

What fandoms do you write for?

White Collar, The Good Place, Supernatural, Discworld, Doctor Who, Leverage, Psych, Murderbot Diaries, Jane Austen novels, and more

Top five fics by kudos:

1 Caffrey Conversation

2 Choirboy Caffrey

3 By the Book

4 Bouquet

5 Caffrey Envoy

Do you respond to comments?

I try to. I think I keep up on AO3, but the email issues on FF have been a trial.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh, that's tough. I don't tend to end with angst. I'd say probably:

The Late Ambassador Spock

Do you get hate on fics?

There have been a few negative comments, but I don't recall any that were outright hate

Do you write smut?

Nope

Wildest crossover:

There have been some interesting combinations when I've written crossovers for exchanges. One that jumps to mind is:

Universal Truths of Time Travel - A Doctor Who and Pride & Prejudice crossover

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No, I don't think so

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Maybe? Someone reached out to ask permission and I agreed but they never got back to me with a link

Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Sort of? I wrote an epilogue to one of Silbrith's stories:

Dawn of the Jackalopes

All time favorite ship?

Oh, that's tough. In terms of writing, my favorite romantic ship has been Neal Caffrey & Sara Ellis of White Collar, and my favorite friendship has been Neal & Peter. In terms of being the audience, I adore Murderbot and its friends, especially Murderbot and ART.

What’s a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Once I started outlining something I called Operation Athena, which was a retelling of one of my Caffrey Conversation stories from the POV of the women. It sounds fun, but I don't know when I'd find the time to write it.

What are your writing strengths?

Why do I go blank on this type of question? I remember getting positive comments about the way the plot threads intertwine and reappear in the Caffrey Conversation series, so let's go with that

What are your writing weaknesses?

At the moment, it's staying focused long enough to make progress.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

Once in a fandom charity auction I won the services of someone who speaks French, and that resulted in lines in French in By the Book. Otherwise I'm always too worried about making mistakes.

First fandom you wrote in?

The first one I wrote down was a birthday present for a friend based on the musical Annie. The first I published was in White Collar.

Favorite fic you’ve written?

Oh, how do I chose? Caffrey Conversation is dear to my heart as the first one I published.

Open tag to my fic writing friends! I'd love to see your answers

[entriprises]

“how did you figure that out?” ‧₊˚ @cheiian / time traveler . . . ‘you did good’ prompts

"what, this little thing?" neal’s head goes tilting sideways in a gesture towards the safe. it’s door sits open, swung wide to reveal its relatively unassuming contents. there’s nothing that quite calls to neal at least, and perhaps that makes this moment a rare occasion. “this was child’s play. this is the safe every safe cracker first learns on. sure, it’s great for your every day kind of security, but if it’s protection and security you want… this baby is not gonna cut it.”

patting the top of the safe, he stands to his full height, proud features sticking out more than the fedora that sat on his head when he first walked in.

[gean-grey-blog]

@thesymphonytrue

Sorry it took me a while, I was having a TIME with health and family shit

7. Post a snippet from a wip

This is the opening to my current longfic project. It's the first post series fic I've written, because...I've never watched S6😂 I had just gone back to finish college after dropping out for a year and I knew I couldn't watch it without getting sucked in and losing half my time to fandom. By the time I finished the semester I knew what the ending was and I just...decided to not go through that 😅. I've also never seen the ending to M*A*S*H even though it's literally formative American cultural media because I knew bad shit happened and wanted to remember the series as a place I could visit not a story that ended.

Opening to the untiled fic currently named "yurt" in my Google docs:

There was a knock on the door of the yurt. Elizabeth looked up, from cooking. She crossed the small space, and peered through the edge of the shade in front of the window. She opened the door.

Neal Caffrey stood in front of her. Alive, in snow pants, boots, and a parka. He was still shivering.

She let him inside. He scuffed his boots off on the mat, the dry snow crunching, and came in. Elizabeth helped him unzip his coat with his fingers half frozen.

“You found us okay?”

Neal nodded, shrugging the coat off and turning to hang it on the little rack by the door, and answered with his teeth chattering, “it took longer than I wanted to get through the border, I'm sorry."

Elizabeth nodded, “it’s okay. I’m just glad you’re here.”

Neal shrugged, “running when you have amazing, happy things lined up is one thing. Abandoning you and Peter, when he’s…that’s something else.”

Elizabeth’s face softened. She nodded, and hugged him tightly. He hugged her back, melting into it. He must have missed them as much as they missed him.

36. What fic are you proudest of?

My first one. It was terrible. It was posted in the comments section on a live journal prompt thread. There was next to no punctuation. I spelled the main character's name wrong multiple times...that name being House, which as the chatacter once pointed out, is also a noun 😅

But I hadn't written anything but school assignments, ever. I have dysgraphia and can't write well by hand, it was the 90's and it took a long time to identify that and by that time I thought I hated writing, full stop. That fic was the first time I wrote for myself. It was the beginning of having a way to process my shit, and express myself, and connect with people

78. What motivates you during the writing process?

Writing is how I self soothe, process my shit, give myself hope, distract myself when I feel physically like garbage, which is a lot. It's also something I can do when I can't even sit up, I just have to be able to poke a phone screen, so it's the one hobby that has remained basically unchanged as I've struggled with health and mobility issues.

[purplehairedwonder]

Fic Stats Game: One Shots

After the original Fic Stats Game was almost entirely multi-chaptered fics, @chromatic-lamina tagged me for a version for one shots!

Rules:

Give us the links to your one shot fics with the most hits, most kudos, most comments, most bookmarks, most words, and least words (does that count for one shots? Guess so).

Most Hits: "Ghosts That We Knew," a White Collar/Chuck crossover where Neal Caffrey and Bryce Larkin are the same person, with 5,858 hits. I wrote that in 2012, wow. Second place goes to "A Far Better Thing," a Seblaine one-shot from my Glee fandom days, with 3,886 hits.

Most Kudos: "Bent But Not Broken," a One Piece one-shot in which Luffy finds Law tending to his injuries after he escaped Hawkins with 479 kudos. Second place is "I Want Your Laughter (Like the Flower I Was Waiting For)", another One Piece fic with Luffy trying to make Law laugh more often and falling in love along the way. It has 451 kudos.

Most Comment Threads: "Aftermath," my first post-chapter 1081 fic, has 21 comment threads. Second place is "The Heart Is a Thing to Be Broken," in which the Straw Hats learn about the events of chapter 1081, with 17 comment threads.

Most Bookmarks: "Bent But Not Broken" is first with 120 bookmarks and "Ghosts That We Knew," is second with 109.

Most Words: "Let It Break," a Supernatural fic that takes place after episode 6.21 and whumps Sam pretty hard, has 7,435 words. Second place is "Where My Demons Hide," a Glee fic dealing with the dynamic between Blaine, Kurt, and Sebastian post-Klaine breakup, with 6,527 words.

Fewest Words: My shortest fic is “See,” a tag for Glee episode 6.01 with 290 words; second shortest is “The Point of a Submarine,” a One Piece prompt fic about the Polar Tang, with 362 words.

Tagging anyone who wants to play--especially if I tagged you the first time but you had one-shots go unnoticed.

[qwanderer]

Sometimes I'm just sitting there thinking about how Neal Caffrey has a friend with a beautiful Manhattan penthouse he can borrow for jobs and Alec Hardison has a brilliant forger friend who can't leave the states and I go

Yes. They are friends.

[mcmusing]

From Season 1 Episode 2 Threads.

Please note that Peter is allowed to place a paternal arm around Neal all the time but Neal is forbidden from playfully batting at him. **Forbidden**, ya got that 👊😉?!

[penna-nomen]

For the WIP procrastination emoji ask game:

🍄 , 🤔, ❤️

🍄Describe your wip/one of your wips in the format of “___ + ___ =___”

White Collar + Fairy Tale Setting = Peter the noble knight to the rescue in The Fairest of Them All

🤔What’s a story you’d love to write but haven’t even started yet?

I have in mind a White Collar/Caffrey Conversation story inspired by Ocean's 8 where the women take the lead in a sting against the bad guy of WC episode Threads. I'm referring to this story as Fashion Caper.

and...

I have in mind a story about Neal hosting a big Thanksgiving bash and going overboard in his planning and asking Peter for help. I'm referring to this story as Overcomplications. That's a tip of the hat to a fun little story titled Complications by @silbrith

and...

Since in Fashion Caper I should make some reference to what the men are up to, I'm seriously considering mashing both of these into a single story.

Thanks for the kudos & asks @bluebellsinburbank!

[lcstpaths]

YEAH, HE KNOWS. But knowing something and accepting it are two different things, and he still struggles to wrap his head around the concept of having her in his corner. Sure, he's always had Mozzie, but... Criminal friends are different from normal ones. Maybe Mozzie is his friend more than a criminal friend, but it doesn't really change things in his mind. "You sure that's a commitment you're willing to offer? I'll probably get you into trouble," he mutters finally, because he knows that the threat of hard time is only one wrong move away from his existence.

"You know i know better than most how it is to be alone." Zoe reminded. She had been an only child raised by an abusive mother, taking off to live on her own from the age of thirteen. "You build up the walls and your brain stays in flight or fight mode. Its trauma but im also learning, its okay to not be alone sometimes." She said gently and offered a small smile. "Im here for you. Whether you like it or not but i am. Whatever you need anytime. I support you."

[highness-in-the-sky]

caffrey

[entriprises]

he's sprinting, feet hitting the pavement so hard it just about hurts and hurtling himself down city avenues to where emergency vehicles have already started to circle around. there's a pair of arms pulling him back from going any further. "NO! peter-" thrashing with all his strength against them, neal's eyes are blown wide on the building that he'd been too late to reach. "they're in there!" the voice that comes out of him is so desperate, lacking air from running.

“they’re safe – hey! they’re safe. let’s focus on you for a minute, okay?” ‧₊˚ @strangewonderful / peter . . . ‘you did good’ prompts

blue eyes search every inch of peter's face, darting in all directions. covered in sweat, the only thing neal feels really is the way his suit is too tight, and the way peter is still holding him in place. his chest heaves up and down, hard, with every breath he's trying so desperately to take.

"they're safe? you're sure? they're-" he'd finish his words if he knew how to get to them through the lightheaded feeling that clouds his mind. his hands curl around peter's arms.

[leverage-ot3]

look I just think it’d be funny if there was a reddit thread or discord for leverage international members

some highlights I think would happen:

nate ‘AITA when…’ and immediately everyone goes YES

na byeol, parker, and neal caffrey debating the best rigs and cords

eliot sharing recipes and swapping them with international members for variety

specifically experimenting with jokbal for roy

breanna and eui sung exchanging memes

sophie and soo kyung sending fashion ideas and good deals (not that they need them. they’re loaded.)

hardison also participates in that thread because he will always love a good disguise

neal also participates. his menswear outfits are the most tasteful and suave

hardison and eui sung talking code and how they love their partners

hardison hyping eui sung up to accept that na byeol and roy actually love him and want to be with him because he knows what it’s like to hardcore pine

breanna spams their chat with pictures of roy’s dog. she’s working on wearing them down so they can adopt one too

IT CAN BE OUR MASCOT!!!

harry gets grifting tips from various members. everyone remembers what it’s like to be new and they think this funky little lawyer dude is neat so they give him advice

just a grifting tips thread. how to get your mark disinterested in you in five steps or less. how to seduce a person in three easy steps. how to make the perfect handoff: a guide

security system and lock picking thread that parker mods. EVERY thief fawns over everything she says because she’s parker

hitter thread where they talk about best improvised weapons (eliot dominates) and different fighting techniques

sobering thread about the most corrupt cases they’ve handled

thread where they all realize thievery and polyamory are surprisingly common (leverage ot3, con ot3, white collar ot3, etc)

which is then flooded with polyamory memes

RATE! THAT! DISGUISE! aka a thread where they tease each other over the silliest and over the top aliases and outfits they craft

[astrancva]

Convincing Peter that he needed to travel to Ohio had taken a great deal. It meant revealing more about his past than he really wanted to. In the end, he agreed. On the condition that he go along to babysit. Neal hated the idea. He hated anyone knowing all the things he worked so hard to keep hidden. But he trusted Peter more than many people outside the tight circle he worked to maintain.

Now, here he was, in the formal sitting room in his childhood home. His mother bellowing at the help. Just like old times. At least the twins were in school, keeping them out of this mess for now.

"Looks to me like you're just making the same mistakes all over again. Except this time, you might end up burying one of your grandkids."

@astrancva is getting a starter from my guest muse cause well angst...

With a dismissive shake of her head, Eleanor turned from her oldest child back towards the kitchen, calling for the housekeeper. Honestly, they just got lazier and lazier. When she offered someone (even one of her children) tea and/or coffee, she expected it to be presented to them shortly after...was that too much to ask?

"I certainly see now where she gets her...dramatics...from. Sitting here acting like your father and I did something wrong in raising those children so that they won't repeat your mistakes..." Like getting his high school girlfriend pregnant. Or ending up in a federal prison.