#thread: blue trinity

[hellalugosi]

just kinda thinking...

is the sentimentalist in the room with us right now? ...maybe they are

and the natural world? perhaps we might also say that of a daytime sky

he's suggested something blue and gold in-show as well

now where have I seen that color combination before

oh

blue skies and everything, huh

hm, and what was being discussed elsewhere one minute and thirty seconds before that decor suggestion?

ok

(sources and rambling under the cut)

1. Season 1, Episode 4

2, 4, 8. Season 2, Episode 6

3. Prince Lestat - Anne Rice

5. Peeled Lemon with Slices - David Hockney

6. Golden Age Wallpaper - Ai Weiwei

7. Set photo of Daniel's apartment

So anyway, everyone's probably already seen the Book!Loumand Trinity Gate ceiling (#3 included here) getting connected to Daniel's place but it might be interesting to also round up some data points from within the show itself that may further support "Armand influenced that apartment/that is the former Loumand NYC home/that is perhaps even a former DM NYC home" theories.

It's intriguing that the tapes' delivery is brought up so late in Season 2, perhaps trying refresh this thread in the audience's minds. This isn't the first time the vampires' access to Daniel's life has been questioned and the short timing between the lines in #8 and #4 is striking with #4's potential implications. And if we're really examining these plates of corn, we might also note the wallpaper's design features a theme of surveillance and control, which is certainly a choice for one's living room in general, all the more so with Armand's known behavior, and more than a little interesting in the context of potential decades of stalking.

Is any of this a smoking gun for anything in particular? No! But it sure does seem like something sus is afoot.

And it's interesting for a possible sentimentalist to suggest the colors of a possible past home as the interview neared its end. What might he have hoped to recapture?

[mcondance]

lights just went out at my house so ofc i’ve gotta fuck jj about it. this is new for me so. bare with me 😁🩵

i’m thinking about… a blackout with jj.

she’s a little prepared, of course, pretty girl is an organizer and planner obviously. battery packs are charged, and candles are lit (they’re yours, she likes your mini passion for candles, and she’s got her own for when you don’t wanna use your good ones.)

with the battery packs running low and your phones moving slowly for the lack of wi-fi, there’s not much to do but lie there and pace yourself on shows to conserve battery power. she’s a little warm against you, both of you in shorts and tanks, legs curled up with the others.

there’s not much to do.

it’s only natural that your minds move to one thing to do; each other.

her hand starts to roam as you pull her ever closer, whispering over your temple and cheek, until she’s placing her hand right over your tit and nodding all knowing, a sparkle in her eyes as you both lean in.

it’s getting warm, but the hot kiss feels so good you barely care. you’re already growing wet, and jj’s palming your tit through the thin little cami you’ve got on, and your legs part to allow one of her legs in between.

she grabs your tit just right, sending a little sparkle of feeling shooting from your nipple through your chest. you whine, a pathetic sound, all broken and ruined for her, and she craves and chases that sound like air.

air. air exists.

both of you separate and suck in said air, faces still close enough to feel the other’s breath ghosting against your face. her lips are slick with your spit and her nipples are hard, peeking through her shirt.

“we’re in a blackout and you’re still trying to get in my pants,” she jokes.

“i’m bored. nothin’ to do. i’d say you’re bored to, but it looks like you’ve found some entertainment.”

she shrugs and her eyes sparkle again. you kiss her again.

in the dark, her fingers find their home inside you and your squeaks and whines echo through the quiet home, and it’s fucking hot but she’s hotter, burning you from the inside out. the spit trailed from your shoulders to your neck is the only cold thing about you. your breath is ragged and rough and stuttered.

she can see where her fingers are stuffed inside your shorts that she disregarded in her pursuit of getting her fingers inside you. her hair is messy in the prettiest way and her blue eyes are dark and beautiful, and she glows even in the dim room. she’s a fucking dream, a princess as you like to call her, and she makes you feel angelic and depraved all at once.

your head lowers between her thighs at one point, her shorts discarded, and her spread wide for your tongue and fingers and eyes, a trinity working together in divine harmony that has her stomach caving in. one of the straps of her cami slides down her shoulder, the other one slides down when she reaches for your hair, threading her fingers into your curls.

you shake your head from side to side and it’s so much for her. she almost cries in response, the sparks resonating from your tongue on her clit fuck her mind and body up so bad. when she cums, she sounds like the princess you claim her to be, a melodic whine and a gasped “fuck,” all mixed up with her breaths as her eyebrows furrow and her thighs close around your head.

you’d think the temperature wasn’t rising with the way you two do everything but sit still. maybe it wouldn’t have even gotten so hot if you’d just resigned to reading a book or playing a board game.

when the lights finally flicker back on, and the soft whir of electricity and the ac kicking back on fill the house, you’d say you handled the blackout pretty well.

[nanna-mi]

A/N : ( i didn't review this, it may have grammatical errors); slightly suggestive.

Getting my nails done and I can only think how exists only three types of Haikyuu Boys.

- The ones the indeed, effort themselves to pick a color that suits you.

KITA, Sugawara, DAICHI, Kenma ( he's into the thread colors smh), MATSUKAWA, Tendou, OIKAWA, AKAASHI

- The ones who only know the holy trinity ( black, red, blue) and probably will take this to another level. ( They're just thinking how your nail would look good on their skin, wink wink)

KUROO, Suna ( who's answer is always, black), IWAIZUMI, Osamu, Ukai

- The ones who have no clue what's going on, and would either freak out cuz they do wanna help and don't know how or just pick any random color that definitely doesn't match your humor rn. (Babyboys are trying tho)

Atsumu, BOKUTO, Nishinoya, Lev.

Bonus for Sakusa, cuz in my head he's a french tips nails kinda of guy, classic and timeless, else he'd be chosing black 🤷

[aropride]

saw ur recommendation for 3m aura n95s 👀👀 any advice on where to get them from? heading back 2 school in a few weeks and wanna stock up — tysm !!!!!

ok so!! my first recommendation is to see if there is a mask block near you, in my area it was CRANE (covid resistance action northeast), they're having trouble stocking and filling orders rn so mine took ~a month to arrive but the time would've passed anyway as they say . if ur in a more urban area ur a lot more likely to have one near u tbh, idk if it'd work but it'd be worth reaching out to the closest one even if they're not technically working in ur exact area just to see . here's a map of mask blocs worldwide- they're mostly in america (continent - but mostly in the US+canada) & europe (mostly in great britian) but there are some others too

otherwise the safest way to get some that are 100% not counterfeit is ordering directly from a supplier, but that can be expensive . project n95 is inactive now but theres still a list of suppliers there !! 3m is really good from experience . u can also get n95s/kn95s/p100 respirators from home depot if u have one near u- however the supplyaid kn95s they sell arent very good, i had them and theyre better than nothing but they only have a 67% filtration rate (as opposed to the 95% expected from n95s and kn95s - thats what the 95 stands for i was mindblown when i discovered this)

also while im thinking about it, part of the reason n95s are more protective than kn95s despite both filtering 95% of particles is bc the seal on the n95 is a lot more reliable than the kn95 :}

me personally ive been getting mine from amazon (not recommended) (i have gift cards there so im not giving them My money at least) and trying my best to make sure they're legit . i referenced the 3m n95 1870s i got using this twitter thread and they seem to be legit? on amazon it also usually says where it ships from and check the storefront, the reviews etc etc. i basically have to do an entire vetting process every time its very annoying ❤️ it is a lot less expensive though, especially if they have a sale going . (here are the ones ive been getting- the listings look the same as of rn but amazon changes them all the time so take this with a grain of salt, person i imagined reading this in 2027. link 1, link 2)

ive tried the holy trinity (new term i made up for the 3m n95 1870 (red straps), 3m n95 9205 (blue straps), and 3m n95 9210 (braided white straps)) -- ime the 9210 definitely has the tightest head straps and i have an abnormally small head on account of being 3 inches tall and born in a thimble all alone . so thats something to be aware of, if u have an abnormally big head the 3m auras might not be the best bc of the strap tightness .

SORRY I'M LIKE INFODUMPING AT U NOW ..!! i have more though . If you know anyone irl who masks asking them where they get theirs might help, they might know stuff locally. ALSO speaking of knowing stuff locally- i don't know if this is universal but i have a friend who's getting really into asian cuisine and a lot of asian grocery stores ive been to with her in my area have had masks. that's such a long shot but ive seen them five out of six stores ive gone to and never at, like, hannaford or market basket or whatever.

OKAY ONE MORE THING . when i got my free masks from crane (SHOUTOUT CRANE I LOVE YOU CRANE) they also sent a thing abt how to reuse them that i will add !! they can be used for like 40 hours if theyre not visibly dirty or the straps dont break or anything

okay i am done infodumping now SORRY THIS IS SO LONG..!!! tldr: local mask bloc if it's an option is definitely the least expensive, project n95 compiled a bunch of links to buy from suppliers, home depot/other hardware stores are worth a shot, and amazon's an option especially if you're like me (poor but have money stuck in amazon gift cards) 🫡

[swampstew]

Crack Theory Time ~ Eustass Kid, Skypeia arc, Calgara lineage trinity

Ignore if you don't want unhinged rantings from this lil witch

copy pasting from a reblog thread I made last year (link at bottom for verification)

THAT robot allegedly was built 900 years ago and re-activated 200 years ago. During the time of the levely where Ryugu Kingdom was invited for the first (and last) time.

Additionally, 200~ years ago, bull fighting fish were sighted by Green Bit, making it near impossible for Dressrosa and Green Bit to access each other and more or less isolating the dwarves from the other country.

AND ALSO - the St. Briss from the Briss Kingdom (from the SOUTH BLUE) began its voyage and ended up in Skypeia (was that intended destination? IDK) but they were sentenced to cloud drifting (aka lost without a trace to the rest of the world) and eventually fell back to the ocean during the Jaya Arc ~2 years ago where at least ONE skeleton was found in the debris. Jaya was shot up by the Knock Up stream some ~400 years ago and at some point then, Calgara died fighting to protect his land and people so that Noland would one day return. Obviously this never happened.

Also FWIW, on the OP world map, Skypeia is over the calm belt but close proximity to the South Blue.

ANYWAYS - all that said. I could potentially see a situation in which survivors from St. Briss were smuggled away from their death sentence by the remaining Shandian’s that lived hidden in the forests trying to survive. I am not sure how or when they would have been able to get back down to the South Blue for Kid to be born in the South Blue 23 years ago, but that’s Oda’s problem to deal with.

Anyways, I KNOW that Calgara and Wyper both have X blood type while Kid has F, but like that could have come from years of descendants, or one of Kid’s parents so let’s be open minded. Calgara also has his demon smile face that looks very similar to Kid’s when he was facing big mom. Also they had pretty similar personalities: super serious sexy dudes, mistrusting of outsiders, bloodthirsty af in battle, once they are “friendly” with others cares for them deeply going as far as crying over their friends (see Noland and Killer) very fast, considered demons/monsters.

Original post from last year where I also wonder about the tribal tattoo thread that links to THIS POST on my recent Kid/Killer/Noland/Calgara blurb

Last thing I’ll say and I swear I’ll shut up - someone somewhere posted a pic of Kid in the manga with what looked like the hint of a tattoo on his left arm(or somewhere in that general area that was mostly hidden by his clothes. I wonder if he’s hiding a tribal tattoo.

[bratshaws]

through the hourglass 107. brb x oc

a/n: 👀👀👀👀

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: none.

goodness gracious (pls read this one to know more what this fic is about!!)

chapter

1/

50/51/52/53/54/55/56/57/58/59/60/61/62/63/64/65/66/67/68/69/70/71/72/73/74/75/76/77/78/79/80/81/82/83/84/85/86/87/88

/89/90/91/92/93/94/95/96/97/98/99/100/101/102/103/104/105

/106

(pls let me know if you want to be added to the taglist! )

taglist: @mirandastuckinthe80s @roosterschanelslut @wiipes @lcahwriter @shrimping-for-all @gretagerwigsmuse @frenchtoastix

@lizzie-rdj @fanboyluvr @atarmychick007 @comebacktoearthpls

@peachiicherries @mak-32 @lizziespidiepridie @roosterswifey @ollyoxenfrees @piceous21 @sqrlgrl22 @hofficoffi @lexhalstead3 @lorilane33 @legendarydreamersharkparty @luckyladycreator2

@emilybradshaw @j-6o @louisahale @leobabbyyy @kulicny @winter-run @ktjmac @graciereads @bigpoppajes @taytaylala12

@caitsymichelle13 @becks-things @caatheeriinee07 @dhwanishah09 @jesfreedark @katiemcrae @lilmonstrjedi @hobiismyhopeu @teacupsandtopgun @insominac23 @gh0stsgoodgirl @mygyn @chavivaelisheva

-

Beatrice tried to mask her grimace once she showed up at Marcus’ studio. It wasn’t because of him, but she was feeling really ill and nauseated from last night, maybe they shouldn’t have eaten that chili, maybe she should’ve gotten something lighter instead.

Because her stomach was making her see double, and the bright colors surrounding her were only making her situation a bit worse. She tried to hide her discomfort as Marcus explained everything, sometimes even putting a hand in front of her mouth because that nausea was intense and she feared she’d just blow at any second.

Nicole was happily playing in the playpen Marcus set up in his office, something he really didn’t have to do but he adored her as much as Bea and Rooster did. He was the honorary uncle, the honorary rich stylist uncle who gave her daughter tiny brand toys he got from PR packets over the years.

The Valentino rubber teddy bear was probably the cutest thing she had ever seen…and it was the first time ever too. Black with pink eyes and a bow tie with the ‘V’ on each side, in gold thread that shone whenever Nikki moved it. Her daughter just vocalized when playing with it, she didn’t have a lot of stuffed toys - in fact Rooster’s blue teddy bear was the only one that Beatrice kept in her room since she was so young - so when Marcus said he researched what babies her age could have,Beatrice was more than honored to know that he found something safe for her daughter.

And seeing Nicole have so much fun while playing was enough for her too.

She hoped it’d make the nausea pass, but it was a bit complicated. She also was having a hard time focusing on what Marcus was saying, because she was trying to not die right in front of him. Maybe it was something they added? She never had this issue with chili before, it wasn’t like there was something that happened.

Plus Rooster was feeling so good, maybe it was something in her making her feel so sick.

Marcus, who was very observant, removed the bright colorful glasses from his eyes and furrowed his brows, “Bea,what is the matter? You appear…” he moves the frame in the air,trying to find words, “You appear…confused, or upset…or both.”

“Huh?”

“Are you okay,darling? What’s wrong?”

“Oh, ah,I’m sorry Marcus.” she laughs softly, “I just..I think yesterday’s dinner is kind of messing with me,so…I’m okay.”

“Do you want to sit down?” his whole demeanor changed, “Tea? I can get you tea- Trinity! Bring us my personal selection!”

“W-No!” Beatrice holds her hands up, “No,no! No, water is fine, in fact I prefer it,Marcus. Please.”

The stylist narrowed his eyes but sighed, “Very well, get us the Swedish one.”

Beatrice almost told him there was no need, but chose to just sit down on the chair closest to Nicole’s highly expensive playpen, blinking when she saw her daughter playing with a Versace rattle now, “Um…Marcus.”

“Yes, darling.”

“I…could be very wrong.” she laughs nervously, ‘But um,brands don’t do baby stuff, do they? I mean,from what I’ve seen with you and from what you told me?”

Marcus places his glasses back on the bridge of his nose, pushing it up to his brows with a elegant finger, “Well, they don’t darling.” he says casually, “But I told them that I have a lovely little girl whom I adore and I’d be more than happy to see her enjoying the best in life.” he smirks at Beatrice’s face, confusion slowly turning into surprise and then absolute shock. He holds up a hand, “Ah ah ah! No take backs,darling. I adore you three, you know that.”

“But–”

“Sssh, no no,” he taps her nose playfully, “No take backs,it won’t hurt me to give my favorite people gifts…besides,I don’t have nieces or nephews and since you and Evelyn will be the first of my friends to have children, why not?”

“Does Evelyn know?”

“Of course not,she’d be worse than you if she found out.” he laughs gleefully, grabbing the teal colored bottle from Trinity’s gloved hands alongside the long flute that would usually be filled with champagne, “There you go,darling.” he pours the water and Beatrice blinks at how clear it really is, she could almost see her own past with how beautiful that water looked, “Enjoy it.”

“Thanks,Marcus.” she grabs the flute delicately, bringing it to her lips and blinking at how expensive water could taste. But besides that, it did help her stomach because it slowly settled once the cold water hit it, her eyes closing as a sigh of relief broke out of her.

Marcus crosses his legs once he sits down on the velvet chair in front of Beatrice, “Better?”

“Yes, thank you,Marcus. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, darling.” he waves his hand off, rolling his eyes, “We all get sick…you said there’s something you ate,yes?”

“That and some personal stuff.” she laughs gently, placing the flute on top of the mahogany desk as she leans back on her seat, the papers filled with her own designs were fixed together almost as if it was a Tetris game, “And I got,” she moves her hand, “I got nervous I guess, and my stomach is now feeling it.”

“Oh, goodness, you cannot stress darling. You know it gives you wrinkles.” he pats the corners of his eyes for emphasis, “And makes your brain scream. We already go through so much in our daily lives, there’s no need for more.”

Beatrice smiles thankfully, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear and sighing once her body feels comfortable enough for her to speak, “Well,I’m sorry about that, um…so, from what you said everything is good,right?”

‘Yes, darling.” he points a manicured finger to one of her drawings, “It’ll be marvelous and remember: there’ll be no photographers, no paparazzi,nothing, there’ll be only us having a good old time as friends and to celebrate the launch…and obviously,show you the pictures.”

She flushes a bit but smiles more, “Thank you,I know it’s not what you are used to but-”

“Darling,I’m so tired of the vultures that surround me.” he tilts his head fondly, “I am almost forty, I can decide what and who I want in my party.” he looks down when he hears Nicole vocalize and shake a shoe that looked like a small Louboutin, “I can arrange a baby area if you so wish as well.”

“Oh,no,no, she’s staying with her nonni.” Beatrice smiles, gently combing some of Nicole’s hair back when she looks up at her mother, “Plus,I don’t think it’d be such a good idea to take her there, might be too much for her.”

She says as if her daughter couldn’t handle sleeping through a storm.

Which she did. Twice already.

“Oh,very well, I’m just saying…which brings me to my other idea!”

“Other?” Beatrice blinks when Marcus disappears under his desk, his gleeful laughter being the only answer as he messed with something she can’t see, “Marcus?” more laughter and this time he pushes a small box on top of the desk, pushing it towards her, “What’s this?”

“My new plan! I was heavily inspired by the little princess.” Nicole turns her head when she hears, even if in her mind she had no idea what that word meant she knew it was used to refer to her, “And because I adore her so,I am working on my own baby and kids line!”

“Wait…what?!”

“Yes!Oh it’s so fun! Smaller sizes! SO small! And tiny,tiny socks!” he is elated when speaking, “And I’ve never did anything like this before, so I think it’s so fun and out of my comfort zone,I don’t know why I hadn’t tried.”

Beatrice was so surprised that Nicole, in her six months of life, managed to make pretty much everyone around her feel either inspired or happy. The Dagger Squad loved her - and she didn’t want to tell anyone, but it was obvious her favorite people in the squad were Payback and Phoenix because of how much she liked when they held her - Maverick absolutely adored that little girl to the point that she was sure he’d break someone’s arms if they talked about her. Penny wasn’t that far behind and Shells was doing a great job being the crazy wild aunt that could possibly kill anyone who looked at you wrong while Evelyn was the cool, hip, savvy aunt who knew what to give you when you least expected.

To say that their baby daughter was a light of joy was pretty obvious.

“And of course she’ll be one of the first to receive a full batch of clothes.”

“Oh, ah,” Beatrice laughs softly at Marcus, “There’s no need,Marcus, she’s growing so fast I don’t know if it’d be a good idea to…send her more clothing. I even bought some more since she’s already so big.” Nicole chews more on the rubber Louboutin and then looks around for anything else to play with.

“Oh…” Marcus frowns, then his grin returns, “Very well,I’ll save it up for the next babies.”

“HUh?”

“I mean,” he props his chin on top of his interlaced hands, “You do plan on having more kiddos,right? You and your pilot.”

Beatrice’s cheeks flushed red, an embarrassed little giggle breaking out of her as she retucks her hair behind her ear, “Um…” she clears her throat, feeling the words get stuck in there while looking to the side, “One day,maybe. We aren’t in a hurry, Nikki is just six months too and Roos is busy with the Navy and such.”

Marcus hums, pursing his lips as he smiles, “Okay! Well,I’ll still keep them saved up for you!”

“Mama!” Nicole breaks the conversation, and Beatrice is so thankful for the distraction, to show her mother the other toy she got, “Abuuh buh ah!” it was a monkey, of course it was a monkey, from Moschino with bright colors and a huge head that undoubtedly made Nicole think of her own monkey back home.

Beatrice smiles, picking her daughter up when she crawled over to the small gate that held her back, being sat on her mother’s lap as she nommed on the new rubber primate, “Thank you,though. I really appreciate it, you don’t have to but…you know.”

‘Oh darling,you have to stop saying that.” he smirks,”I adore your little family.”

“I know…we appreciate it.”

“And I adore how in love your husband is with you, you two are a fairy tale in real life!” he clasps his hands together, “It’s adorable!”

He wouldn’t be the first one to say that either.

Beatrice just laughs again, still blushing, “Well, he does make me feel that way-” her alarm goes off and she sighs, “Oh,I gotta go Marcus,I have to meet with Penny and Shells at the bar reall quick.” she looks back at him in question, “We ah, we are finished,right?”

“Yes, we are.” he smiles, “But oh, let’s just wrap it up.” she thought he meant the papers and the meeting, but no he meant the many brand toys that Nicole played with. His several assistants just flocked into the room and started packaging everything, everything in front of them with the exception of the playpen.

“There’ll be more when you visit me the next time,”

‘Wait,more?Marcus!”

“Sssh, darling,” he smiles, “Those are gifts for the little princess.” they are all inside beautiful sleek black boxes with large red ribbons and Beatrice could only stare wide eyed.

“I-I don’t even know how to take all of those home.” she murmurs, “I-I mean you–” the knowing look from Marcus was enough to answer, “You are going to send the ones I can’t take over to me.”

“Hmhm! “ he bites the end of his glasses while holding his arm up, then gestures to her body, “Oh I need to send you the dresses too, I know you’ll love to see them. Trinity! Please write that down! Bea needs her dresses.”

Beatrice could only watch wide eyed. Never in one million years she’d ever think she’d be here, standing next to Marcus Beverly - who is her friend now -, helping him with the new launch and being one of his models. One of his favorite models that is.

And that she’d still work at the Hard Deck and be happy doing it.

She bites the inside of her cheek to hide her smile as she follows Marcus and his flurry of assistants out of the building to her jeep. One of the male assistants even holds her bag for her as she unlocks the car, both her and Nicole watching as they put everything inside - almost perfectly aligning each box - and closing it once they are done.

They all say their goodbyes to her and Nicole, the little baby smiling happily when theirs voices get higher when referring to her. Marcus stands outside next to Beatrice, inhaling happily before turning to her, “Well, darling, you must go and so do I.” he air kisses her cheeks while holding her shoulders, “I will give you a call before the launch party, yes?”

“Yes, of course Marcus.”

He smiles fondly at her, before turning his gaze to Nicole, “Goodbye little princess.” he coos, gently kissing her tiny hands and smiling at her happy giggle, “You enjoy your time with mommy, yes?” Nicole laughs louder and Marcus drops her hands from his, “Goodbye darling, have a good day!”

Beatrice watches as Marcus flourishes back into the building, his clothes shining and hair still in place even with the wind outside. She gives him one final wave before the doors closed and she’s left standing with Nicole next to her car “...well…” she laughs, looking down at the little girl in her arms, “That was fun,huh?”

“Ah!’ Nicole’s vocalizations were only sounding more and more like actual words as time went by, “Come on, let’s…” Beatrice frowns when she feels the nausea again, “...not eat Mexican food again so late, oof, I feel awful.’

-

Rooster talked to Maverick, because he wanted to solve this once and for all. They sat away from everyone while in the cafeteria, because they needed privacy and needed to talk about things over.

It was a quiet conversation, as private as they could have, but he knew his uncle appreciated it. Pete’s eyes glazed over with tears but he was trying so hard not to cry, only offering the younger pilot a tight smile and a tap to the hand to show that it was solved, he didn’t need to worry anymore.

And things went back to normal, well, as normal as it could be.

“You are coming to the Christmas party,right?” Rooster asks after taking a bite of his pizza, while his uncle sips his soda “At Bea’s parents.”

Maverick slowly places the soda down, tapping his fingers on the table’s surface as his jaw moves, “I…I mean yes,” his nephew arches his brow at the hesitation, “I don’t know,Brad. I hadn’t…been to a Christmas party in…a very, very long time.” he licks his lips, “How many people will be there?”

“Well, let’s see.” Bradley looks to the side as he things, slowly unfurling his finger as he voices out the family members, “Her parents, her siblings, her nephews and nieces, the dogs, it’s possible her aunt will be there, and maybe her uncle Roberto with his wife and sons…so…” he counts each finger, “Around twenty-five people?”

“Twenty five?”

“You saw most of them at our wedding,Mav.” he shrugs, “Plus, you like parties. And music.”

“Twenty five people,” his uncle rubs his forehead while looking wide eyed to the side, “I…I can’t buy all of them presents, Brad.”

“I told you don’t have to,Mav-”

“Yeah, but isn’t that the polite thing to do?”

Bradley chuckles a bit, “Listen,it’ll be fine and…” he looks down at his hands, “We’d really appreciate it if you showed up…even if it’s for a little bit, you know? Bea especially wants you to go because she thinks it’d be good for you…and Penny said yes already.”

“She did?”

“Way before you.”

Pete huffed softly, in a way it was supposed to mean how annoyingly happy he was because of that woman. He just tsks, then tosses his hand up, “Yeah,well, okay…I’m going.” he huffs, “But are you sure I don’t need to bring gifts?”

“One hundred percent.” he says with a grin, “It’ll be like the first time I met them too,Mav. I didn’t bring a lot and I got…a lot…so you better be ready for that.”

‘What,wait, I am going to get gifts?” Rooster nods, “But I can’t give them back, that doesn’t make much sense.”

Rooster laughs, “Well,” he looks down when his phone starts to ring, “Well, you better get used to it and– it’s Bea,I’m going to answer it Mav. Give me a few minutes.” his uncle just looked stupefied by that, not even looking when Rooster walked away.

“Hellooooo gorgeous.” he drawls, leaning his shoulder against the wall, “You rarely call me, is everything okay?”

“Everything is fine! Well,a little,I’m a bit sick.”

“Sick?”

“I think eating chili so late was a mistake, blegh.” she laughs softly, “I’m okay though,lying in bed a bit, just got back from talking to Penny and Shells and Nikki is keeping me company. How are you though? You okay? Did you talk to Mav?”

“I did,gorgeous.” he looks back to where his uncle was, “We’re good.” but before she could exclaim how happy she was, he cut her off, “Wait, you are feeling sick, do you need me to bring you something? Some meds?”

“Ummm…I dunno…maybe? I just hope I get better until I go to the bar. I’ve never had issues with food like this before. I’m not throwing up or anything, but you know, it’s really annoying.”

“I know,gorgeous.” he whispers, “I’m going to Rizzo’s then, get you some pastries,” she makes a noise of discomfort, “Something light?”

“I might just have juice, I’m not feeling like having anything.”

“I can–oh. Oh. Oh I had an idea.”

“An Idea?”

“I can’t tell you yet but…I will…have to stay with Nikki tonight.” she makes a confused noise from the other side, “Can’t tell you why, but I know you’ll feel a lot better once I do what I have planned.”

“...you know, you can be very dangerous.”

“Yes,gorgeous.” he laughs, “Yes I can.”

[lasplaga]

「𝔖」 ( 5/? ) 𝐀𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐋𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐒𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐯𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 & 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐀𝐬𝐢𝐚, 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐉𝐚𝐩𝐚𝐧 & 𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐍𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐀𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐚. 𝐀𝐬𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐟 𝐨𝐟 : @sundhaft ( thank you! ).

Going to be doing a study of Osmund's clothes this time, not his religious trinkets / memorabilia. We'll be focusing on his first layer & sixth layer for this post as they are the most prominent. We'll also be diving into the color choices & how they may reflect his office or personality. 𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓 𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐎𝐖! 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄 :

The first layer is a black Kandūrah ( or 'thawb' more commonly ). Black can represent priests to focus upon penance for their own sins & the sins of the world, rather than worldly fashion. Black can also symbolize giving up worldly pleasures, such as entertainment & honors, & immersing oneself in eternity. Additionally, stains are more visible on black, which can serve as a reminder that priests are held to a higher standard & that their sins & failings will be more visible & harshly judged than others. Black robes can also help people identify priests who may need to be approached for sacraments, such as confession. Black, most of all, can represent death.

What is most intriguing about these robes is that they are threaded with green interlace knotwork. I believed initially it was a Celtic's Anam Cara Knot, which can be a variant form of The Trinity Knot, however --- I have discovered that this extravagant knotwork is present within Buddhism, which is not coincidental. Endless knots represent the Samsara i.e., the endless cycle of suffering of birth, death & rebirth within Buddhism. Los Iluminados does believe in a cycle of rebirth, unlike a permanent 'heaven' or 'hell' upon the first death which is present in Abrahamic religion. There are many references attributed to Buddhism & Shintoism present in 4R due to Japanese developer influence & applying Asian syncretism to the people / cult of Los Iluminados ( primarily the zealots ).

A mutual of mine who also does research for PU also noted it appears similar to the pattern of kolams ( specifying rangoli ), which can symbolize auspiciousness & divinity, present in India. This would also be fitting, following the cultural inspiration Los Iluminados was developed from. But as far as our search goes --- this is a completely original pattern, albeit regardless an endless knot.

As Osmund belongs to a religion institution, it's not so much that he wears black to accentuate a personality trait, but rather that he belongs to an order of monks. Monks wear different colors in accordance to their status ; Black is lowest in rank, blue is intermediate, crimson designates commanders, white represents those who have been purified / baptized, & purple is worn solely by High Priests / Gurus. --- Green has never been seen before, but perhaps it symbolizes the triumph of life over death, for it is the color of plant life & spring. As the species he possesses is noted for it's tree-like attributes & capability of resurrection, perhaps it was deliberate?

The outer layer he wears which is also noted on his wardrobe page is called a 'Uttarāsaṅga', which are capes worn by high-ranking Buddhist monks or spiritual teachers. As Osmund is canonically a Guru, with their God comparable to the Buddha, this is appropriate. The specific design is found in orthodox / minority sects outside of major cities found throughout Asia or Japan.

The cape has symbols of the plagas parasite upon his hood, precisely where his mutations reside, as well as upon his back, shoulders & arms. It is no coincidence that they are placed there, nor that they are inspired from floral motifs. Their central worship is dependent upon a cosmic tree, with the God of Los Iluminados manifesting as 'hashira', a pillar which not only bridges humanity & the divine through it's branches, but the earth & heaven, found in Shintoism. Their focus upon hands / arms / limbs is also associated with tree symbolism, as Ganado specifically refer to themselves as the limbs of God, as well as the seedbed : " 我らは神の手肢なり " & that his branches may even cross the oceans : " 全能の枝は　大海を渡る ".

Purple was historically a difficult color to make, so it is often associated with royalty, wealth, spirituality & nobility ( Osmund represents ALL of these traits ). In Japan, only the highest-ranked Buddhist monks wear purple robes ( as well as this! ). Continuing, although elements of the Oriental Christian faith are less prominent, purple is associated with piety, faith, penitence, preparation & sacrifice. Gold also has many spiritual connotations in Buddhism, including representing the sun, which symbolizes purity, knowledge, & enlightenment. In Oriental Christianity, gold can represent prosperity & preciousness, however that doesn't tie much into their ideology of illumination.

Again, his clothing choices don't really reflect much of his personality as much as it does with his office, but, I can dive further into this: Red is a passionate color whilst blue is soothing. Osmund is very much 'the glue' which holds Los Iluminados together, he is not needlessly wrathful ( unlike Ramon ), & recklessly forgiving / questioning ( unlike Bitores ). Lord Saddler manifests both fiery rage & calm patience, upholding his position as a divine parent that demands respect, obedience & submission from his children. He cannot be too much either one way or the other, hence he lies in the middle upon a spectrum. Black can be associated with a strong-willed, determined, & independent personality, & may come across as authoritative or serious. Gold is a precious metal, & those of you who know that Los Iluminados is heavily associated with traditional alchemy : Gold represents the perfection of all matter on any level, including that of the mind, spirit, & soul. Gold to them does not inherently represent their wealth, but an expression of their spiritual & biological enlightenment.

[noisycowboyglitter]

Shamrocks: The Green Threads That Weave Through St. Patrick's Day

The shamrock, a small three-leafed clover, is an iconic symbol deeply intertwined with St. Patrick's Day celebrations worldwide. This annual Irish holiday, observed on March 17th, commemorates Saint Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland who allegedly used the shamrock to explain the concept of the Holy Trinity during his Christian missions.

Buy now:19.95$

On St. Patrick's Day, the shamrock takes center stage in festivities, adorning everything from clothing and decorations to food and beverages. People wear shamrock-shaped pins, don green attire, and even dye rivers and beer green to honor Irish heritage. Parades featuring elaborate floats, traditional music, and dance performances fill city streets with jubilant crowds.

The shamrock's association with luck has expanded beyond its religious origins, becoming a symbol of good fortune and Irish culture. Whether real or stylized, it appears on countless products and marketing materials during this season. From shamrock shakes to shamrock-themed parties, this simple plant has become a powerful emblem of Irish pride and festivity, uniting people of all backgrounds in a day of joyous celebration and cultural appreciation.

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The Autism Awareness Ribbon features a puzzle piece pattern in vibrant shades of blue, reflecting the complexity and diversity of autism spectrum disorders. This symbol, adopted in 1999, represents the mystery and complexity surrounding autism.

The ribbon aims to increase public understanding of autism, a neurodevelopmental condition affecting communication, social interaction, and behavior. It's often displayed during Autism Awareness Month in April and on World Autism Awareness Day (April 2nd).

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The puzzle piece design signifies the challenges faced by individuals with autism and their families, while also highlighting the unique strengths and perspectives they bring to society. This ribbon serves as a powerful tool for advocacy, support, and promoting acceptance of neurodiversity.

The Autism Puzzle Piece is a widely recognized symbol representing autism spectrum disorders. Introduced in 1963, it symbolizes the complexity of autism and the diverse experiences of those affected. The puzzle imagery suggests that autism is a condition still not fully understood, with many pieces yet to be connected.

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While some embrace this symbol as a way to raise awareness, others critique it for implying that autistic individuals are incomplete or need fixing. Despite controversy, the puzzle piece remains a common emblem in autism advocacy, appearing on logos, merchandise, and awareness campaigns worldwide.

[birthday-journey-posts]

Look Up

Under the moon’s gentle glow, Noam the Easter Bunny perches on a moss-covered rock, cradling a child in his soft paws. The child gazes up at the star-studded sky, eyes wide with wonder. Noam’s velvety ears twitch as he begins to speak:

“Child,” Noam says, his voice a soothing melody, “the night sky holds secrets beyond our understanding. Each twinkling star is a beacon of hope, a reminder that even in darkness, there is light.”

The child leans closer, captivated by Noam’s words. “But what about faith?” the child asks.

Noam’s eyes, the color of spring leaves, shimmer with ancient wisdom. “Faith,” he says, “is like the roots of a Pascha Pumpkin vine. It burrows deep into the earth, unseen, yet it sustains life above. It’s believing in something greater, even when evidence is scarce.”

“And love?” the child whispers.

Noam’s whiskers quiver. “Ah, love,” he murmurs. “It’s the magic that binds us all—the thread connecting hearts across Moriah Hallow. Love is the moon’s reflection on a tranquil pond, rippling outward, touching every shore.”

The child nestles against Noam’s fur, comforted by his presence. “Thank you,” the child says. “I’ll remember this.”

Noam smiles, his bunny heart aglow. “Remember,” he says, “that the night sky whispers secrets to those who listen. And in its vastness, faith and love intertwine, creating constellations of hope.”

“Listen,” Noam says, his voice a gentle breeze through pine, “The night sky is our canvas, each star a brushstroke divine. When your paws touch the earth, feel its heartbeat, my dear, For love and faith reside in every leaf, every vine.”

And Juno, the sprite with wings of iridescent blue, Dances alongside Noam, her laughter echoing through the glade. She weaves moonlight into garlands, adorning the boughs, Her laughter like chimes, a melody that will never fade.

“Noam,” Juno whispers, her eyes reflecting constellations, “What if our lucky rabbit’s foot holds more than luck? Perhaps it’s a conduit for God’s love, a bridge to the stars, Guiding children and forest friends, like a compass in the dark.”

Noam nods, his whiskers catching stardust as he replies, “Indeed, Juno. Our purpose is woven into the cosmic thread. We color eggs with hope, change food into joy, And in our blessed feet, the universe’s secrets are spread.”

But amidst the moonlit glen, there blooms a Pascha Pumpkin, Its orange skin etched with symbols—a map to hidden realms. Noam and Juno gather around, their paws brushing its curves, Feeling the pulse of ancient magic, like hymns in sacred realms.

“The Pascha Pumpkin,” Noam murmurs, “holds the essence of seasons, From spring’s rebirth to winter’s hush. It’s a vessel of wonder, A reminder that faith, love, and harvest intertwine, Guiding us through cycles, like the moon’s eternal wander.”

And so, under Juno’s moon, Noam and the Pascha Pumpkin, Create a trinity of enchantment—a legacy written in starlight. Their love, like constellations, weaves stories across time, Guiding all good children toward wonder, wherever they go.

May the Pascha Pumpkin’s glow light our hearts, and may Noam and Juno’s faith endure! 

And so, beneath the starry canopy, Noam weaves stories of faith and love, leaving an indelible mark on the child’s heart. 

Hope you find One. Hope you get One

[bookrabbit]

Look Up

Under the moon’s gentle glow, Noam the Easter Bunny perches on a moss-covered rock, cradling a child in his soft paws. The child gazes up at the star-studded sky, eyes wide with wonder. Noam’s velvety ears twitch as he begins to speak:

“Child,” Noam says, his voice a soothing melody, “the night sky holds secrets beyond our understanding. Each twinkling star is a beacon of hope, a reminder that even in darkness, there is light.”

The child leans closer, captivated by Noam’s words. “But what about faith?” the child asks.

Noam’s eyes, the color of spring leaves, shimmer with ancient wisdom. “Faith,” he says, “is like the roots of a Pascha Pumpkin vine. It burrows deep into the earth, unseen, yet it sustains life above. It’s believing in something greater, even when evidence is scarce.”

“And love?” the child whispers.

Noam’s whiskers quiver. “Ah, love,” he murmurs. “It’s the magic that binds us all—the thread connecting hearts across Moriah Hallow. Love is the moon’s reflection on a tranquil pond, rippling outward, touching every shore.”

The child nestles against Noam’s fur, comforted by his presence. “Thank you,” the child says. “I’ll remember this.”

Noam smiles, his bunny heart aglow. “Remember,” he says, “that the night sky whispers secrets to those who listen. And in its vastness, faith and love intertwine, creating constellations of hope.”

“Listen,” Noam says, his voice a gentle breeze through pine, “The night sky is our canvas, each star a brushstroke divine. When your paws touch the earth, feel its heartbeat, my dear, For love and faith reside in every leaf, every vine.”

And Juno, the sprite with wings of iridescent blue, Dances alongside Noam, her laughter echoing through the glade. She weaves moonlight into garlands, adorning the boughs, Her laughter like chimes, a melody that will never fade.

“Noam,” Juno whispers, her eyes reflecting constellations, “What if our lucky rabbit’s foot holds more than luck? Perhaps it’s a conduit for God’s love, a bridge to the stars, Guiding children and forest friends, like a compass in the dark.”

Noam nods, his whiskers catching stardust as he replies, “Indeed, Juno. Our purpose is woven into the cosmic thread. We color eggs with hope, change food into joy, And in our blessed feet, the universe’s secrets are spread.”

But amidst the moonlit glen, there blooms a Pascha Pumpkin, Its orange skin etched with symbols—a map to hidden realms. Noam and Juno gather around, their paws brushing its curves, Feeling the pulse of ancient magic, like hymns in sacred realms.

“The Pascha Pumpkin,” Noam murmurs, “holds the essence of seasons, From spring’s rebirth to winter’s hush. It’s a vessel of wonder, A reminder that faith, love, and harvest intertwine, Guiding us through cycles, like the moon’s eternal wander.”

And so, under Juno’s moon, Noam and the Pascha Pumpkin, Create a trinity of enchantment—a legacy written in starlight. Their love, like constellations, weaves stories across time, Guiding all good children toward wonder, wherever they go.

May the Pascha Pumpkin’s glow light our hearts, and may Noam and Juno’s faith endure! 

And so, beneath the starry canopy, Noam weaves stories of faith and love, leaving an indelible mark on the child’s heart. 

Hope you find One. Hope you get One

[noam-easter-bunny]

Look Up

Under the moon’s gentle glow, Noam the Easter Bunny perches on a moss-covered rock, cradling a child in his soft paws. The child gazes up at the star-studded sky, eyes wide with wonder. Noam’s velvety ears twitch as he begins to speak:

“Child,” Noam says, his voice a soothing melody, “the night sky holds secrets beyond our understanding. Each twinkling star is a beacon of hope, a reminder that even in darkness, there is light.”

The child leans closer, captivated by Noam’s words. “But what about faith?” the child asks.

Noam’s eyes, the color of spring leaves, shimmer with ancient wisdom. “Faith,” he says, “is like the roots of a Pascha Pumpkin vine. It burrows deep into the earth, unseen, yet it sustains life above. It’s believing in something greater, even when evidence is scarce.”

“And love?” the child whispers.

Noam’s whiskers quiver. “Ah, love,” he murmurs. “It’s the magic that binds us all—the thread connecting hearts across Moriah Hallow. Love is the moon’s reflection on a tranquil pond, rippling outward, touching every shore.”

The child nestles against Noam’s fur, comforted by his presence. “Thank you,” the child says. “I’ll remember this.”

Noam smiles, his bunny heart aglow. “Remember,” he says, “that the night sky whispers secrets to those who listen. And in its vastness, faith and love intertwine, creating constellations of hope.”

“Listen,” Noam says, his voice a gentle breeze through pine, “The night sky is our canvas, each star a brushstroke divine. When your paws touch the earth, feel its heartbeat, my dear, For love and faith reside in every leaf, every vine.”

And Juno, the sprite with wings of iridescent blue, Dances alongside Noam, her laughter echoing through the glade. She weaves moonlight into garlands, adorning the boughs, Her laughter like chimes, a melody that will never fade.

“Noam,” Juno whispers, her eyes reflecting constellations, “What if our lucky rabbit’s foot holds more than luck? Perhaps it’s a conduit for God’s love, a bridge to the stars, Guiding children and forest friends, like a compass in the dark.”

Noam nods, his whiskers catching stardust as he replies, “Indeed, Juno. Our purpose is woven into the cosmic thread. We color eggs with hope, change food into joy, And in our blessed feet, the universe’s secrets are spread.”

But amidst the moonlit glen, there blooms a Pascha Pumpkin, Its orange skin etched with symbols—a map to hidden realms. Noam and Juno gather around, their paws brushing its curves, Feeling the pulse of ancient magic, like hymns in sacred realms.

“The Pascha Pumpkin,” Noam murmurs, “holds the essence of seasons, From spring’s rebirth to winter’s hush. It’s a vessel of wonder, A reminder that faith, love, and harvest intertwine, Guiding us through cycles, like the moon’s eternal wander.”

And so, under Juno’s moon, Noam and the Pascha Pumpkin, Create a trinity of enchantment—a legacy written in starlight. Their love, like constellations, weaves stories across time, Guiding all good children toward wonder, wherever they go.

May the Pascha Pumpkin’s glow light our hearts, and may Noam and Juno’s faith endure! 

And so, beneath the starry canopy, Noam weaves stories of faith and love, leaving an indelible mark on the child’s heart. 

Hope you find One. Hope you get One

[the-hem]

"The Sign of the Upright." Introduction to the Vasudeva Upanishad, the Exploration of the Mysteries of the Horse.

The Vasudeva Upanishad was written around 300 BCE. It numbers 77 of 108, and is contained in the Sama Veda. Horses in Vedanta as in other religions are not positive omens. Without a skilled rider, they have the connotation of being as wild as demons.

The Horse called Vasudeva was said to have been the mount of Lord Krishna, an incarnation of the god Skanda, the god of justice who came to earth to deal with a king who cheated his way to his crown. This resulted in the recitation of the Bhagavad Gita to his kingdom and then subsequent slaughter of everyone who supported the cheater.

It is my hope to encourage the same thing to Donald Trump and every Republican who helped him cheat his way into office after the debacle with Blue State Digital in 2016. As in Krishna's day, the Department of Justice and the contender need to get up off their asses and fight.

Everyone associated with the first Trump Campaign and Administration that knew about those fraudulent election proceedings must be put to death. Donald Trump must be made an example of. There are no excuses for interfering with election results or allowing a man who was not legally elected to become the president or to pretend all is well and allow him to run for election again.

This along with Donald Trump's unfathomable popularity are signs the human race is in grave danger from corruption and something has to be done.

The Vasudeva Upanishad begins with an analysis of what is called an Urdhvapundra, "the mark of the upright", which is worn by persons who have entered the priesthood and are decorated in preparation for temple proceedings.

The Pundra proceeds from a dot, the mind, and emanates three rays of light, one each for the Holy Trinity of Hinduism, Brahma, Vishnu, Shiva, "Adoration, Grace, and Kindness."

Om. The God like sage Narada saluted Lord Vasudeva and requested him, “Oh God, please teach me the rules of Urdhva Pundra (the religious mark of Vaishnavas which is vertical and points upward)”.

God Vasudeva addressing him told as follows:

2. The Brahmachari (unmarried student of Vedas) and Grahastha (householder) after reciting the following prayer: “Oh God who holds the wheel, mace and conch, Oh Achyutha who is staying in Dwaraka, Oh Govinda, Oh Lotus eyed one, please protect me, who has surrendered to you.” should apply Urdhva Pundra in his forehead and other 12 places with his pure finger (finger next to the little finger) reciting either the Vishnu Gayathri or the 12 names of the Lord viz., Kesava, Narayana, Madhava, Govinda, Vishnu, Madhusudana, Trivikrama, Vamana, Sreedhara, Hrishikesa, Padmanabha and Damodhara.

A Vaishnava is a member of a school of Hinduism who studies the Ramayana and Bhagavad Gita along with other texts closely associated with Rama, Krishna, and stories of their worldly pursuits. A Shaivite studies a slightly different approach but both kinds of priests believe in one non-dual Holy Spirit that animates the universe out of Great Grace.

The Upanishad mentions there are 12 names one must understand in order to consecrate the mind to the Self of this Holy Being.

Kesava: long hair or anything that belongs to Krishna.

Narayana: the Sustainer.

Madhava: sweetness.

Govinda: the chief herdsman.

Vishnu: the All-Pervasive.

Madhusudana: destroyer of the honey demon.

Trivikrama: master of the three kinds of order.

Vamana: pain of vomiting, the better half of humanity that is retained after it renounces evil.

Sreedhara: the highest rank.

Hrishikesa: Lord of the Faculties.

Padmanabha: the Lotus Naveled. Hndus believe the tingly place under the belly button has special significance.

Damodhara: master of the sacred thread, the red thread of the priesthood.

All twelve names pertain to aspects of the ways the Upanishad mark the mind and turn it into a vessel that is pure, fit for the duty of service in the Name of the Most High.

The Upanishad  will continue.

[apilgrimpassingby]

I feel that both parties involved here could quote Bible verses until the sun goes down, which is part of why I'm going to take a different approach.

I believe in the Holy Trinity partly because I think the Holy Scriptures and the Holy Tradition of the Orthodox Church teach it, but primarily because I think reason demonstrates the Holy Trinity.

Firstly, I'll let St. John of Damascus, one of the great systematic theologians of the Orthodox tradition, explain the Holy Trinity, with me highlighting in red how God is three persons, and in blue how God is one: "Owing to the three subsistences, there is no compoundness [of the divine nature] or confusion [of the persons]: while, owing to their having the same essence and dwelling in one another, and being the same in will and energy and power and authority and movement, so to speak, we recognise the indivisibility and the unity of God." (An Exposition of the Orthodox Faith, Book 1 Chapter 7)

The reason I'm saying this is because it seems like the LDS people in this thread have some misconceptions about what Trinitarianism entails. For example, I would see the baptism of Christ as a sterling example of the Trinity - They are separate Persons, but They are united in will, energy, power, authority and movement and hence all act together. For another example, the Persons of the Holy Trinity are, to quote book 1 of An Exposition of the Orthodox Faith again, "adored with one adoration" and so it doesn't trouble me that Christ never commanded prayer to Himself or the Holy Spirit.

Why do I think reason proves this? Firstly, I think the Biblical text shows that the Father (1 Corinthians 6:8), Son (Colossians 1:16-19) and Holy Spirit (2 Corinthians 3:17) are all fully divine.

But I believe that, logically, there can only be one God. Why? Again, St. John of Damascus says it better than me in his Exposition: "The Deity is perfect, and without blemish in goodness and wisdom and power, without beginning, without end, everlasting, uncircumscribed, and in short, perfect in all things. Should we say, then, that there are many Gods, we must recognise difference among the many. For if there is no difference among them, they are one rather than many. But if there is difference among them, what becomes of the perfectness? For that which comes short of perfection, whether it be in goodness, or power, or wisdom, or time, or place, could not be God. But it is this very identity in all respects that shows that the Deity is one and not many." (Book 1 Chapter 5)

Someone might define God differently - particularly relevant here, a common (but not universal) LDS view is that God is an ascended human, and hence not ultimate in the sense of classical theism. But this creates its own problems. For me, there are three problems that stick out with this approach.

For a classical theist, God dictates morality because He, as the ultimate being in all respects, is the ultimate goal of all creation. As such, our ultimate orientation should be Him - that which is good is that which is attuned to Him. If God is a being within creation, that creates the Euthyphro Dilemma: if God commands things because they're good, then there's a standard of morality above God and we should worship that and not God, and if things are good because God commands them then morality is arbitrary.

Relatedly, why is idolatry wrong if God is another creature? The Scriptures are clear that the spiritual world is bustling with powers and principalities, elemental spirits, angels with authority over nature and so on. If God is just the most powerful of these unseen forces rather than being fundamentally outside nature, then "thou shalt have no other gods before me" starts to look oppressive and unnecessary.

For classical theists, God is creator because He sustains the world and brought it forth from nothing. But if God is situated within creation, then God's creation is one of intervening in natural process that were ticking along fine without him - and, no offence to any creationist followers, but I believe that that vision of God as Creator has been severely weakened if not outright discredited by science.

✨Repeat after me ✨

If you don’t affirm the Trinity 👏🏽 you 👏🏽 are 👏🏽 not 👏🏽 Christian

[booksandwords]

Return to Sanctuary (Anthology)

Read time: 2 Days Rating: 5/5

Edited by Carol Shaughnessy Contains contributions by: Sherrilyn Kenyon/ McQueen, Nicki Nance, Lina Acevedo, Sabrina Diaz, Sheri-Lynn Marean, Cole Jackson, Hunter J Skye, Leigh Bulls, Alice Sable, Cynthia Agutun, Trinity Blaslo, Dawn Chartier, Eva Nela, Sarah Compton and C Stripes.

To me this is not as strong as Sanctuary. It at least doesn't feel as well organised, Love's Absolution is a strange way to start, too tightly tied to the previous book. Second Chance for a Forever Mate is a strange way to end at least to me, utilising arcadian wolves it rightfully uses their base forms in the mating process something that I've never been a fan of (not an uncommon opinion). I can see the choice to use Stripes' inclusion last could leave a bad taste in readers mouths. It could however have been a decent first entry with Nance's last.

What is improved in Return to Santuary is the variety of supernaturals used in the stories. I found Santuary focused heavily on Werehunters this one is more diverse most importantly including more Dark Hunters as ocs. There is an origin story for one of the more enigmatic couples in the Hunterverse, some surprising pantheon appearances and a story written in entirely in what I shall refer to as the Simi speak. It is clearly one for the fans for through. There will be a story for everyone and probably a story that will leaving them going "Ahhh... no not for me". To me at least this is what an anthology should be, diverse.

Love's Absolution by Nicki Nance

“I’m not a doctor, but I think it’s your species.” Dev sat down against the wall and put his elbows on his knees in anticipation of a long talk. Shem glared down at him. “What?” Dev pointed at him. “You, my friend, are human. Mistakes come with the territory. Hence the term ‘human error.’” — Dev Peltier and Shem

Love's Absolution is a continuation of Mourning Shadows Nicki Nance's story from Sanctuary. It's a firm addition to that world, though something tells me you may be able to pick it up and read it without knowing Mourning Shadows. It builds on the world that Nance created in that story. It feels like an alternative reality, our timeline but not. What we do find out that I appreciated is the inclusion of Shem's family, particularly his maternal line. Shem comes from a long line of very strong women... the Devereaux women. It is a story of family and forgiveness. There is an on-point Ash conversation that cannot be ignored.

Music and Storm by Lina Acevedo

The sensation of her body next to his when they escaped to dance in the rain, the smell of the rain, their feet buried in mud, the sound of thunder, their laughter and their hearts racing like a song. A kiss that she had wanted and had never happened. — Eliša

This is the story of Egyptian Dark Hunter Eliša and squire Basilius Nizar. And huh... I honestly did not see that ending coming. I'm not going to think too hard about the interplay of pantheons here. If one of the big six can be hiding out in a different pantheon we may as well use it. The ending kinda feels off to me. Are squires tied to a single hunter? If not why isn't Nizar made Eliša's squire? I know Queen of All Shadows plays with a squire Dark Hunter relationship (Brynna and Xander). Either way, it is a choice interpretation. Leaves them happy. Answers the whys of their history. And Eliša is a truly interesting Dark Hunter with her mix of power and perhaps damaged mind.

Follow the Thread by Sabrina Diaz

He was the most beautiful man she had ever seen. His blue eyes were even more intense in the light. His blond hair was cropped short in a way that suited his face. She noticed that he had burn scars on his face and arms. But that only made him more attractive to her. The scars proved he was a survivor. — Nyssa

This is different. It blends multiple well-known Greek myths but centres them around Sanctuary as a base and point of safety. Exactly as it is intended to be, as was I suspected the brief of the entries as well. Nyssa is a strong heroine well matched to the traumatised Ladon. I like the shades, the way Nyssa sees supernatural beings, showing, their most common presentations. It is so good to see Eris or a Devereaux woman in any piece. The Devereaux's are just a matriarchial tour de force and Eris is well Eris.

We All Got Beasts by Sheri-Lynn Marean

“You really think they guard treasure?” “It is, and maybe. At least I hope so,” Genna said. “A girl can’t have enough sparklies.” “Exactly,” —

Okay, let's be honest this is so hard to read. It's reading a whole story of Simi speak essentially, props to the author for that alone. Is just a cute little adventure kinda story. Genna is an acquired taste but her relationship with Thaniel is cute. Trying to make the gnomes come to life just to protect what is most precious is so sweet. like Nicki Nance's story, this is a pair to her piece in Sanctuary, though stands alone with more ease.

Saved by Stone by Cole Jackson

She was young enough to get carded for a drink and old enough to be served it. A girl her age would rarely come out alone at night and those that did would know to keep an eye over their shoulder. He watched her a moment more and realized that she wasn’t from around here. — Garin

There is a fantastic cyclic feeling to the ending. The hero, Garin has such a good voice. He's a gargoyle everything about him screams Victorian, his prestenation but more importantly his manner of speaking. The choice to give him that older voice is one of the best, it's like keeping the manner of speaking for a Dark Hunter after they made their deal with Artemis. I like that someone wrote a story using a protagonist who comes from a place of conflict with the Peltiers and the Sanctuary staff. Not everyone is on their good side, and bears have long memories. Aimee does her brilliant insightful female thing here too when it comes to Garin and Frankie's relationship.

Wendigo Weekend by Hunter J Skye

I hadn’t meant to select such an upscale hotel, but they’d had a cancellation and I was a lunatic with a credit card. — Ari

This is a very different take on self-discovery set before Bad Moon Rising. Wendigo protagonist Ari feels almost voiceless though. It almost seems like Hunter J Skye decided to use the Hunterverse and Return to Sanctuary as a way to introduce readers to a new mythological creature. One with a dark side. Also, it comes from Native American myth, not something we see a lot of in the Hunterverse. This is a story that does brilliant work with Lo. It shows a caring side of her we need to see more.

Bayou Honeymoon by Leigh Bulls

Jamison had come back from New York. She’d said she loved him, and her life wouldn’t be complete without him. He remembered their wedding day. When asked, she’d said, “We do” instead of the normal “I do.” It was her way of telling everyone she carried his child. — Rafe

This one is all mystery all the time. Leigh Bulls tells the story of a late honeymoon for werewolf, Rafe and Jamison his pregnant human wife. It features frequent appearances by Menyara freaking out the tourists, telling them their unborn child so is highly important. But you never get any real answers as to why Jamison's son is so important. You know, I like it as a piece of storytelling it is effective. If there is a third vol it will be curious to know if this one continues on.

Enter the Sanctuary by Alice Sable

“What the hell are you?” Acheron snorted. “I’m your best friend and your worst nightmare all wrapped up in tight leather pants.” “Mmm, sexy,” Tory whispered. Acheron grinned and kissed Tory’s forehead. “Later, baby.” — Logan, Acheron and Tory

I'm not sure that to make of this. Great use of the one demon army that is Simi. Tory being the big boss she is, one theme of the series all the men are cowed by their women. Fang being allergic to subtlety. I like the concept of the elementals but not so much how they were played out. The lore governing the elementals is effective, blood is an earth element. Alice sable does introduce an interesting play on the infamous sign "You entered the Sanctuary in peace, now go in peace.” (Acheron). Side not which book did we meet Psyche and Eros in? I remember it happening but not when.

In Another Place by Cynthia Agutun

There was darkness in him, but also light. He had a heart filled with love, fighting to keep the darkness at bay. My intuition told me that at some point he would meet someone who would tip the balance and add more light to his life. I gave him a smile. “Keep fighting. Never let the darkness overtake your heart. The light will come.” — Cassie

Cynthis Agutun uses a smartly heroine in her story. Commonly, especially in the Chronicles of Nick, we are introduced to characters that are born of dual and conflicting natures. This is exactly what Cassie is, the daughter of a demon and a guardian angel. She runs into the most iconic dual nature character in the entire Hunterverse... Nick Gautier. Agutun is the only person to use the canonical Nick, post the breakdown of the relationship with Ash. Cassie's quote was directed at him. The whole story is just clever

Sanctuary's Sheltered Heart by Trinity Blaslo

She is the tornado that flies by but notices everything not touching a thing Her heart is that of gold, yet no one dares goes digging to find it. Only a true one will be her king. — 🎼 Sanctuary 🎙

Look this is just weird. Not sure if that is good weird or bad weird. It more makes an unexpected twist that doesn't sit well with me. I did like Simi's absolute loyalty though and Sanctuary repaying it. But Lore's "his woman" language got old fast. That sort of pocessive linguistics without her knowledge or mutual agreement puts me on edge. Particularly given the background for this couple.

Awakwnwd by the Dark Hunter by Dawn Chartier

“I’d rather believe you’re a vigilante.” A deep laugh escaped him. Something he hadn’t done in a long time. He wasn’t sure what possessed him, but he reached up and cupped her chin. “I’m no dark hero, Alyssa Brooks.” — Alyssa and Cole

I quite like this. Cole is perfectly charming. Alyssa is sassy and nearly realistic given the pull that does exist. Also, she's a librarian. 😇 Dawn Chartier was aware of the word count limits and it made the right choices with their characters and the plot. It feels like the compressed early parts of a novel. You get just enough of a feel for what is going on, where they come from, what their hang-ups are but it is about them, their now and not their pasts. It's seemingly one of the few in this collection that goes explicit and it does that well.

How a Demon Made a Friend by Eva Nela

"You shouldn't be walking alone if you can't defend yourself properly." He growled aggressively. “But… Well, that also gave me a chance to meet you.” He smirked, flashing his sharp teeth. “I'm Xedrix.” — Xedrix

OMG 🤩 it was only when I looked up Xedricks that I realised what this is. This is the first meeting between Simi's older brother and owner of Club Charonte, Xedrix and his partner, Dimme demon Kerryna. I barely remember these two but I remember meeting them in Bad Moon Rising (how is it that book is a point of confluence for so much?). That said it did leave me so confused. Kerryna comes across as a moralistic demon. But what did surprise me was the main Peltier in play, Kyle. It's so nice to see a different cub. Eva Nela also honours Nicolette in the best possible way.

Plague of Pantheons by Sarah Compton

“Gwendolen is a grown woman. She should have the right to decide for herself what must be done. She doesn’t seem like the type to stand in the background.” — Aimee Peltier

This is a well thought out pairing. Gwain, Knight of the Round Table now a Dark Hunter and immortal Gwendolen. Though immortal Gwendolen is only 23, she is the daughter of Celtic goddess Cerridwen and Roman god Saturn. I call it well thought out because there is serious compatibility there culturally and personality-wise. This one certainly leaves the reader feeling like there is more to come. Gwendolen is not as strong as I would have liked but maybe it is more Saturn is super protective and she is wholly trapped. Not too many people could break that shield.

After I finished reading this I looked up what Cerridwen and Saturn functions were. Saturn was the God of time, wealth, agriculture, and liberation, Cerridwen is slightly more difficult but modern interpretation has her as the goddess of rebirth, transformation, and inspiration. There are other interpretations that have her as the Crone in the female cycle and as Underworld Goddess. They wouldn't necessarily be incompatible. But their daughter could be very interesting when she comes into her powers. Am I overthinking this? Yes but don't mix pantheons and expect me to not think about contexts.

Second Chance for a Forever Mate by C Stripes

“You should come to the bar. Show everyone you’re still alive.” “That’s the crux of the matter, isn’t it?” Beau locked gazes with Serre. “Am I still alive?” — Serre Peltier and Beau

Gosh when was the last time I saw Serre? I adore seeing thing the Peltier cubs. Katagarian wolf Beau's story is built from a sad base, the loss of a mate days after they claimed each other, so before they tied their life forces. The loss of his Cassie has as you would expect destroyed him to a degree and made him very reckless, yet he is still the pack alpha. For me, it is more about him and his growth than his relationship with Madigan St. Jules. he knows something about her is different. Nothing wrong with it and it is so good to have a second chance. I always struggle with Katagaria and the animal base forms. What that means for consummation. Really that is not my thing. Regardless of how much I like a plot.

[sienaevans]

Family Talk

INVOLVED: Blue Evans, Siena Evans, Luca Evans, and Phoenix Evans  TIME FRAME: Tuesday, February 25th, 2020 LOCATION: Local Mall; Seattle, Washington SUMMARY: Blue took Siena, Phoenix, and Luca to the mall to hang and talk about the family home.

Blue sat around the food court of the mall with her siblings, eating her pizza slice hungrily. She had taken them out today because she wanted to talk to them. She was often very closed off and acted like she didn’t want to be bothered, but she truly did love her sisters and brother and she would do anything for them. She sat her pizza slice down and looked around the table slowly. “So… mom’s pregnant…” she began.

Siena sat among her siblings and she adjusted the strap to her overalls as she popped a chicken nugget into her mouth. She licked her ketchup stained fingertips and nodded her head “yeah” she said not knowing where her older sister was going with her statement.

Luca looked to Blue and he bit it slice of pizza hungrily, munching on it he licked his lips cleaning off the tomato sauce that sported it before he bit into the slice again.

Phoenix dug into her pasta, looking at Blue slowly as she licked her lips. She forked another noodle into her mouth before she said, “what about it?”

Blue wiped her mouth, looking between everyone as they looked at her. “... so that means we really have to step it up around the house,” she said thoughtfully. “I’ve already decided that I am not going to go away for school,” she said to them. “I’m going to take a year off, then go to a community college here in Seattle so I’m close,” she admitted. “Booty you’re next in line, it’s up to us to pick up the slack for mom and dad, we’ve got cars,” she said thoughtfully. “So, we need to start picking up Phoenix and Luca for them, maybe going to the store and picking up groceries,” she said thinking it over. “Just… you know… doing what we can to help,” she said looking at Phoenix and Luca.

Siena looked to Blue as she spoke, explaining why she was bringing this up to them. She nodded her head slowly before she looked at Phoenix, she really meant the three of them. This she knew because Luca wasn’t capable of doing much of anything, their mother had babied him so until it was bound to stay a baby forever. Licking her lips, she looked back to her older sister and said “okay” to her “you’re right” the blonde admitted thoughtfully. “We do…”

Luca continued to eat his food; he didn’t have to reply because he knew factually that his sister wasn’t talking to him. Everyone did everything for him, why change that now?

Phoenix ate more of her pasta and she nodded taking it all in. “I can start cleaning up more often,” she admitted. “On Monday’s I’ll clean the living room and the kitchen and on Friday’s I’ll vacuum the house, upstairs and downstairs,” she said thoughtfully. “And I’ll make it my job to clean the basement once a month, especially after we’ve been down there playing and stuff…”

Blue looked at Siena and nodded before she looked at Phoenix with a smile. “Thank you Nix,” she said before she looked at Luca, gently bumping her shoulder against his. “Luca you can start cleaning your own room and doing a better job and not leaving your toys all over the house. Also, you don’t have to wash anything but just rinse off your dishes and set them aside and one of us will place it in the dishwasher for you,” she said thoughtfully.

Siena looked to Phoenix as she explained what she was going to do to help out. She bit another chicken nugget before she looked at her younger brother, the real spoiled child. She shook her head at him amused as she finished the nugget.

Luca looked to his older sister and scrunched his brows “mom always cleans my room” he told her. He bit into his pizza again “I don’t like cleaning though” he told all three of them.

Phoenix looked at Blue as she now addressed their brother and she snorted. Luca didn’t do anything but mess up the house and watch everyone clean behind him. Eating more of her pasta she shook her head. It was going to be a nightmare trying to get Luca to simply pick up his own slack, let alone someone else's.

Blue shook her head at Luca. “You’ll be 12 this year,” she said to him. “Mom isn’t going to clean up behind you forever and once the twins come, I assure you she will stop,” she said knowingly. “Mom cleaned up after me all the time too then Siena came. Mom cleaned up after Siena then Phoenix came…” she trailed off. “You get what I’m saying. Plus, you want to be a little man right, little men clean up after themselves,” she said to him, rubbing his shoulder.  “You’re going to need to set a good example for the new babies. Plus...” she trailed off looking around the table at her sisters as she leaned in real close. “I heard that Sunshine likes boys who clean,” she said in a loud whisper.

Luca looked at Blue as he finished his pizza eating everything including his crust and he looked at his other siblings as they watched on. He licked his fingers slowly before he grabbed his napkin and wiped his mouth and hands. At the mention of Sunshine liking clean boys he looked at Blue “really?” he asked before he looked at all of them.

Blue nodded her head. “Really,” she said looking around at Phoenix and Siena. “I heard it straight from her,” she said, lying to the boy. “Why do you think she hasn’t been around recently?” she asked him softly.

Phoenix nodded along to Blue, seeing how her brother perked up and she knew that she had to play along feeding into the lie.

Siena looked to Luca “no dirty boys” she chimed, she felt bad whenever they lied to him. But that was the only way to get Luca to actually fall for anything.

Luca looked to his sisters and he nodded his head pulling his lips into his mouth. “Okay” he said as he grabbed his cup taking a sip from it. “I will clean” he told her agreeingly as he moved to his next slice of pizza.

Blue smiled at her sisters as they co-signed her lie and she nodded her head, pressing a kiss to his temple. “Next time I have to car pull and pick her up, I’ll let it slip that you’re now a cleaning man, I’m sure she’ll be excited,” she said honestly.

Luca looked to his sister again and he nodded his head at her “okay” he said happily. “I want her excited” he told her as he bit down on the pepperoni pizza once more.

[headstrongblake]

@thewholecrew: trinity & nicklas | immortal universe

if nick weren't already slowly shifting down her body with his lips, how her gaze turns from him might have him rising back to stop her. but she's opening up to him— about a traumatic moment in her life that left her body scarred and her heart worn. and so he continues his soft trace, heart swelling with pain in his chest while the deep blue of his eyes darkened taking in her intense scar. perhaps that's why he felt the need to confess his own sins to trinity. how easily it slipped from his tongue despite how hidden he's kept the tragedy from others over the years. that he had his own car accident. one that was all his fault, just as trinity thought hers was. both of them losing someone they had loved.

with her in his arms, he can almost pretend for a moment that he's an ordinary man, deserving of the attention she so willingly offers him. that for once, he isn't walking destruction. that being attached to him won't end in disaster because, once again, he's found something of his own, and just like last time, he's much too selfish to keep it, her, at a distance. his arms around her tighten at the swirl of thoughts tumbling in his mind. although they're still getting to know each other, already in his soul he knows he won't lose trinity like that. won't dare cause her to hurt or suffer as amelia did. this time, he'll get it right. somehow.

as her fingers trace the white scar around his arm that he's done his best to cover with the artist's tattoo work, he shifted his head to gaze down at trinity, watch as she spoke about ballet, her dream that appeared to be more her mothers than her own, and her best friend. with his life, death was a given. something he managed on a week to week basis, but hearing trinity talk about losing the one person who was real in her life had empathy swirling in his stomach as his hand lifted to thread gently through her blonde locks. soothingly, he petted through her hair as his other hand rested against the small of her back. outside of nate, nick had no one that felt like that. he wouldn't even know what to do if he'd lost it. but another simple apology didn't feel hardly enough.

instead, he focused on the bitterness that bubbled up when she mentioned her mother. "yeah, i hear ya, parents have a way of setting our whole lives out for us, some fated destiny or some shit but," he shrugged as he held her, watching his fingers as they combed through her hair to keep himself distracted. as much as he would always follow his da, whatever the man had set out for him because that's what family fuckin' does for each other, there's time he's questioned whether this hunter's life he's always lived was as much his own life, as it was his da's. "think some of 'em are just trying to live out their own dreams through ya," he spoke honestly, offering another little shrug as he shifted because what the hell did he really know? "your mom and my da sound like they'd get along just fine," he snorted, rolling his eyes before he reached to pull the blanket up the two of them. "it's crap that the first thing anyone worried about was anything but you," he stated firmly, showing off his daring grin. "well darling, you don't gotta be lonely while i'm around."

@headstrongblake: trinity & nick. / verse: immortal.

his hand on her waist arrested her movement, large doe eyes stinging as they lifted to look at him as his other hand cupped her cheek. she couldn't help how she leaned into his touch, her own hand raising to keep his hand against her face, his words though were both reassuring and a little hard to believe. a small, brittle smile tugged at her lips at his promise before giving her a quick kiss and her eyes fell closed, leaning in to nearly chase his lips. she pulled her bottom lip into her mouth, biting it as she nodded silently at his question, nuzzling against his palm with a soft sigh.

brows then lifted in surprise as he tugged her back against him, a soft but pleased noise escaping her as she did just that. blonde hair splayed out over her pillow as she looked up at him, her hands raising to rest against his chest while her cheeks turned rosy once again. his apology had her turn her head to the side, nodding with a small shrug and a quiet, "thanks." lashes fluttered shut though as he trailed soft kisses from her shoulder and down her arm. that shyness crept up on her again as she shivered under his touch, tempted to hide her face in her hands but instead peeked down as he shifted closer to the scar.

she bit her lip once more at the intimacy of his touch now that he was close enough to study the mark. it was a deep and gnarled scar that circled half her thigh before trailing down a little farther on the inside of it towards her knee. usually she would wear thigh highs to cover what her skirt didn't but, it wasn't as though she was overly insecure about the mark -- even if it was beyond ugly to her, she just pretended half the time it wasn't there and well, she didn't want questions from strangers.

trinity hadn't expected what nick confessed next though and her gaze left his to glance over at the arm he spoke of, hand reaching to gently brush her fingers along it. he was in a car accident too? a quiet noise escaped her involuntarily as he kissed along the scar, shivering once more at how sensitive the skin surrounding it was, face flushing darker. it was a little hard to focus when he was giving her so much attention which caused her heart to begin to race again. but when he continued, rising to rest beside her, trin's expression grew distant. curling up against him, it was her turn now as she hesitantly ran her fingers along the long scar on his arm.

"yeah," she admitted quietly with another shrug before a bitter smile returned to her lips. "i didn't even think about it at first, my dream," she said in an almost mocking tone, nuzzling her cheek against his chest. because who cared about that when she had just seen her best friend for the last time, when she couldn't even go see her in the hospital. she avoided looking at him, gaze on his arm as she continued. "ellie, she wasn't just my best friend, she was.. she was the only person in my life that... that was real," she shook her head, eyes stinging but she refused to cry. "when my mom showed up at the hospital, you know what the first thing she asked the doctors? not if i was okay, but about how bad was my leg and if i'd ever be able to dance again," a bitter sound escaped her in a scoff, "i loved ballet, i was devastated sure, but it was my mom who.." she shook her head, hand raising from his arm in a motion of frustration before it settled against his chest. it was far too much to unpack no matter how willing nick was to hear about it all. "so, yeah, lonely, i guess..."