#thread 001: nathan & evelyn.

[alkalinc]

a closed starter for my heart, @devoureden, for nathan & evelyn.

bumping into her was technically a coincidence because nathan had no clue where evelyn would be when he showed up in town. however, they had been here before, even if it hadn't been in over a year, and always seemed to find one another whenever he showed up again. walking by that particular coffee shop, he recognized her instantly and didn't hesitate to step inside and walk over to her table. "hey, stranger."

[alkalinc]

part of him thought she would pull back immediately. then again, he thought that every single time they crossed paths and he found himself getting too close to her. that wasn't the case now, though, not when she only moved around enough to find a spot in his lap and nathan's arms wrapped around her to pull evelyn close. he breathed against her lips, breathing her in and nathan knew he wasn't willing to let her go again, certainly not when she spoke those three words. "i love you. i have always loved you," he whispered against her lips.

swallowing thickly, nathan kept his forehead resting against hers and he inhaled one deep breath after the next. "leave him," he spoke and pulled back to gaze at her with a pleading look in his eyes. "i know i fucked up before. i don't regret it because i wanted you and our son to have more, but...i'll always regret what could have been. it can be different now, evie." his lips brushed against the corner of her mouth before nathan peppered kisses along her jawline. "we can have it now."

evelyn watched him as he sat beside her and then moved close enough so they were touching. she sighed and looked down at the floor before finally looking up into his eyes again. "but i didn't care. as long as we had each other. i never once complained about us not having anything." he was facing her better now and she took a deep breath. her heart was pounding and she ran her fingers through her hair. her brow furrowed for a moment before he was kissing her.

she leaned into him and his kiss. she got up on her knees before she was in his lap and her arms were curling around his neck. evelyn had never loved another person like she loved nathan. it was never, ever her husband. she did that for their son. she was happy they hadn't had children together and she never questioned it, either. when she pulled back from the kiss, she rested her forehead against his and closed her eyes. "i love you..." she whispered.

[alkalinc]

the walk to his hotel room was silent between them and he even rushed them along, making sure to get them out of the cold weather and into their own private space quickly. once inside his room, nathan rubbed a hand over his face and watched her move around before she took a seat on the end of his bed. "it's never been that i didn't know what i wanted. i have always known what i want, evie." slipping out of his coat to hang it over the back of the chair by hers, nathan sat down on the end of the bed beside her, purposely moving close enough that his leg rested against hers. "i have loved you all my life. i've never stopped." his head turned enough to meet her gaze and he inhaled a deep breath. "when we found out you were pregnant, i knew i couldn't be what you needed. i didn't have what he had. i couldn't offer you a damn thing. you know i couldn't."

swallowing thickly, his hands rubbed over his face and nathan turned his entire body a little to face her better. "maybe it was just because we were younger and i was scared. i don't know...–i know that doesn't change anything, but... don't you dare think i don't know what i want. don't you, for even one second, think that i left because i didn't know what i wanted." before nathan even thought about it, his hands cupped her cheeks to bring her closer and he slotted their lips together in a deep and passionate kiss that he had been craving since the last time he saw her.

tears had stained the woman's cheeks and she was freezing. she shouldn't have gone out this morning. the heels of her boots crunched in the snow and then she felt someone pulling on her arm. when nathan turned her around to face him, she sniffled. he was pleading with her and she didn't know what to do in that moment. what would happen when he left again? she nodded her head, pulling her coat tighter around her frame. she wiped beneath her eyes, thankful she didn't put on too much makeup this morning. "let's go..." she whispered and pulled on her gloves because she was going to freeze. it started snowing again and she walked beside him. once they were at his hotel and in the room, she pulled her coat off and laid it on the chair. when she turned, he was right there. her heart flipped in her chest and she slowly lowered herself onto the end of his bed.

[alkalinc]

my life was over the moment you left. it felt like all the air left his lungs and he couldn't breathe. nathan froze there, feeling the kiss brushed against his temple and watching her walk out the door. his chest felt tight and his vision blurred a little before he forced himself up, rushing out of the coffee shop to follow after her. a hand reached out to wrap around her arm once outside, pulling her to a halt and turning her to face him. "come back to my room with me. my hotel is right around the corner. we can talk, we can not talk, we can do whatever you want. please, come with me," he spoke with desperation in his voice because the thought of losing her for good terrified him.

evelyn looked away from him for a moment or two to gather herself. tears pricked at the corners of her eyes and she sniffled. "it's fine," she said softly. she sipped from her coffee and shook her head. "my life was over the moment you left," she murmured and gave him a tearful smile. she grabbed her coat and pulled it on before grabbing her bag. she squeezed his shoulder, "when you're done being afraid of this...you let me know, nathan. because i may not be here the next time you decide to come home." evelyn shrugged and brushed away her tears. she kissed his temple and walked out of the coffee shop.

[alkalinc]

"you wouldn't have had what you should have had. you wouldn't have had a life you deserved. i couldn't offer you that and you know it. i couldn't give you that back then." could he now? things were very different, while they also weren't all that different when it came to how he felt about her. evelyn was still the love of his life and that didn't seem to change, no matter how many years passed. a sigh escaped him and nathan rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. inhaling a deep breath, he leaned forward in his seat a little and met her gaze. "your life isn't over. you said it yourself — elijah is grown up and he's moved out. it sounds to me like he's ready for a family of his own. you don't have to stay there and stay with him anymore. you can get what you want."

moments like this were few and far between. she sighed and sipped from her coffee as he spoke. "how do you know being with you wouldn't have made me happy? what if i was okay with living my life with you, nathan? even if we didn't have much, we had each other. i had you and i was going to have elijah." she took a deep breath and shook her head. "because i'm not happy. i can't remember the last time i was." evelyn swallowed thickly and she shook her head. "i haven't thought that far ahead. i've only gotten to me getting my own place and signing divorce papers. i didn't think this would be my life. i always held out hope for a different life, but i can't always get what i want, now can i?" she said softly and bit into her lower lip.

[alkalinc]

"you know why i'm sorry." nathan let her speak on, hearing about how incredible their son was. it was always bittersweet when she referred to elijah as their son. he was, of course, but nathan hadn't been part of his life for a single moment. for all he knew, elijah still didn't even know who he was and he tried keeping it to himself how much that still crushed him. "i left for a reason and we both it wasn't to better my life," he spoke and tilted his head to look at her. "i wanted better for you, evie. i wanted you happy, but.." his head shook. "every single damn time i come back here, you never look happy when i first see you." his palms rested on the table between them. "you ever thought about what you would do if you did leave him?"

"why are you sorry?" she asked and tipped her head to the side a bit. her heart sank and she took a deep breath. the moment he called her evie, she was a goner. "nathan, you gave me our son. you gave me elijah. he was the greatest gift anyone could ever ask for, whether you were here or not. so, thank you." evelyn smiled gently before he was questioning her again and she inhaled sharply. "i could leave him. i'm thinking about it. i mean, if he tries to make this out to be my fault, i have the word of nearly every woman he's ever had an affair with in his office. -- elijah's been looking for apartments for me. i think he's found a good one, so i think it's coming up fast."

[alkalinc]

his head ducked down with his gaze trailing away from her for the first time to look anywhere else. cast down at the table, he looked at his own hands and felt like part of this was his fault. "i'm sorry," he spoke, inhaling a deep breath, then he slowly let it out and look back over at her. "i never made anything easy for you, did i?" a sad smile laced his features. "i couldn't offer you what he could. i couldn't be what you needed back then, evie. i wish i could've been." a moment passed with a thought crossing his mind. "would you leave him? i mean, i get that you couldn't before, but you can now, right?"

when he asked what kind of changes, she opened her mouth to reply, but then he was speaking again and she swallowed thickly. she tipped her head to the side, "...that's why he's worried. he wants me out of my marriage and to be happy. because my marriage isn't a happy one and it's never been, really. it's been one of...privilege, i did it for him. because i wouldn't have had anything for him, nathan. it was an opportunity both of us needed." tears pricked at the corners of her eyes. "now he's out of the house and he's happy, but knowing i'm not, makes him less so." she sighed as she wrapped her hands around her coffee and she shrugged.

[alkalinc]

nathan had never actually met elijah and maybe that was for the best, but he still wanted to know how his son was. whether he had the right to know or not, he wanted to hear that elijah was okay and that life was good for him. nathan also wanted to hear that evelyn was okay and that life for good for her, but he could see that wasn't the case. "what kind of changes?" leaning forward in his seat a little, he couldn't look away from her for a second. "you're not happy," he stated it as a fact rather than asking. "is that why he's worried or is there something else to be worried about?"

"it's been a very...explosive year and a half," she murmured. the only thing that had been missing was him, but she didn't say that out loud. she couldn't say it out loud. evelyn nodded, listening intently. "that's good. that you can't complain. you're doing what you love. that's always wonderful..." she sighed and cleared her throat. "elijah? he's...he's good. like i said, he's got avery back, so he's much more at peace with his life, but...he's too worried about me. i just - i need to make some changes. i don't want him to worry about me so much, but i understand why he does."

[alkalinc]

as she spoke, he focused on her and solely her, taking in one thing after the next. then he saw the way her smile didn't exactly reach her eyes and he really knew she wasn't happy. "well, that sure as hell is a lot in a year and a half. it beats anything i've got to share," he spoke around a small smile that didn't quite reach his own eyes, either. "a lot of traveling, a lot of work. it keeps me busy and i get to go everywhere, so i guess i can't complain." though, he wanted to complain about the fact that he wasn't truly happy because she wasn't in his life. "how is he? elijah. how has he been?"

"mhmm, a year and a half. -- i found out i have a granddaughter. she's sixteen now, though. lives in england with her adoptive parents. elijah and avery have found their way back to one another again. this time they're together. they're going to visit vanessa, their daughter, very soon." she sipped from her coffee and cleared her throat. "that's the happiest news i have for you." her smile didn't reach those bright eyes of hers, but she felt more relaxed now that nathan was there. "how're you? how's work been?"

[alkalinc]

inhaling a deep breath, nathan slowly let it out before he pulled out the chair across from her and took a seat. his eyes were on her the entire time, noting the way she changed and also didn't change in the slightest. not from the last time he saw her and not from how he remembered her all those years ago when they were much younger. "how have you been? it's been, what, about a year and a half, right? i hope you tell me better news than last time i came back to town."

her smile was tired and she sighed, "really? that's nice. i'm sure they're all going to be overjoyed to see you after so long," she mused and then blushed when he spoke about her looking good. "thank you. you don't look too bad yourself," evelyn said softly and she took a deep breath. "oh no, i'm not here with anyone. if i were, it would probably be elijah and avery, but everyone's snowed in. i'm just lucky i live around the corner and someone had already plowed out in front of the townhome. so, feel free to have a seat."

[alkalinc]

the sound of her voice was enough to make his heart flutter, but then he saw that smile and it was the same smile he fell in love with over and over again. "for a little while, yeah. i'm visiting my family for the holidays." his eyes didn't leave her for a second as he inhaled a deep breath. "you look good." one look at her and he could see she didn't look happy, though, and that had a sad smile on his features. "are you, uhm, here with someone or do you want some company?"

she was hoping she could have a quiet morning and not many people had been out because of the storm the night before. she was just around the corner from her favourite coffee shop, anyway, so she walked. she was sat on her phone as she looked through some photos her son had sent her of an apartment when she heard a familiar voice that tugged at her heartstrings. "hello, nathan," she breathed and smiled warmly at him. "you're home?"