#thoughty

[beaujagr]

Right before the pandemic, I did a Kickstarter for my TTRPG Turn, which is about playing shapeshifters in small mostly rural towns. I worked with some great people on it and I think it is still an amazing game and wish I could play it more and expand upon it extensively, but I don't think that it will be in the cards for me.

However, it still exists.

This game, where you struggle between your public and private identities, where the rules are mostly focused on avoiding faux pas in human social interactions in order to keep your beast side hidden, where violence is easy but has hard consequences, and where the biggest struggle is finding people who will still love and care for you when you're exposed to be something most people would see as monstrous or freakish & you're struggling to live, it exists. I made that, six years after I first conceptualized it, & now five years after I made it real, no one knows.

I didn't get to take it to tons of conventions & promote it heavily, in part because I was struggling with my health, in part because the pandemic cut short a lot of my plans, in part because I didn't truly have a community that loved & cared for me when I was exposed & struggling. Instead, I lost my community, & I eventually had to give up my dreams, too.

But Turn exists. It's still beautiful and special to me, and I have had experiences with it building community and finding myself that I don't think I will have in real life. It's how I found my name. It mattered. Today, I'm holding on to that.

Turn is here, with my other works:

https://thoughty.itch.io/turn

+supplement, Towns Like Ours:

https://thoughty.itch.io/towns-like-ours

+Script Change, which I recommend using with it/any RPG:

https://thoughty.itch.io/script-change

Print:

https://www.indiepressrevolution.com/xcart/Turn.html

DriveThruRPG:

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/publisher/10592/daedalum-analog-productions

KS:

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/briecs/turn-a-tabletop-roleplaying-game

[beaujagr]

That's kinda what Turn is about 🥰

Thought.itch.io/turn

too many stories about turning yourself into a monster as a metaphor for pretending to be something you aren't and losing yourself in the process. not enough stories about turning yourself into a monster as a metaphor for choosing to openly embrace yourself even if it's strange to other people

[sarahsmi13s]

kissing in between logan’s knuckles where his claws come out because you remember him telling you that it hurt when they came out

that’s it, that’s the thought

[whitestnoise]

[beaujagr]

Part of a drawing I'm working on.

[beaujagr]

This makes me think of Turn 🥺

this poem is about being nonbinary.

[xxgothchatonxx]

So, Alisha Weir as Abigail was just delightful when she was being all wild, chaotic, and monstrous... but this is the part that really stuck with me. Lazar says "I came when you needed me" (which, excuse you, you're about 15 minutes late, darling) and Abigail 'responds' with this:

Honestly, this whole scene was fantastic, despite it being so short. Alisha proved that she could more than hold her own against an actor as seasoned as *spoiler*

(then again, I shouldn't be surprised - she played Matilda against Emma Thompson's Trunchbull)

But then, pure vulnerability.

Again, this scene is so short, but holy crap, Alisha nailed it. All Abigail wanted was her father's attention. But instead of it coming across as obnoxious and whiny, it's so subdued and quietly desperate. And Alisha got that across without saying a single word.

Which is also doubly impressive because Lazar looked like, well, That and it was still a really touching, emotional moment. So, instead of me pissing myself laughing at the contrast of seeing his buck-teeth-fangs, I nearly burst out crying.

[zosonils]

[this post is about something pretty significant in the story of shadow generations, for anyone who's still avoiding spoilers]

ok so something that fucking Gets Me is that shadow does smile every now and then. not often, sure, but with a little digging you can find at least a couple smiles from basically every iteration of shadow! observe

so like we have a template for what shadow looks like when he smiles. it's almost always some variation of this smug little smirk with his eyebrows/eyelids down, somewhere on a scale from 'cocky little bastard' to 'trying his best to copy what he thinks a smile might look like based on a description he heard once'. and most of the time it is steeped in some smug anime rival moment, but even when shadow is just genuinely responding emotionally to something nice happening, it looks something like this.

so all in all there's the impression that this is just how shadow smiles. that he's not super good at it, that maybe he doesn't quite know or remember how, but this really is him at his most genuine. right on, that's cute i s'pose, no problem, me too king i'm autistic. AND THEN THIS FUCKING HAPPENS

oh my god!!!!! fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this looks NOTHING like his 'normal' smile - his eyes are so open, his mouth is so relaxed, there isn't a speck of that smugness that shapes even his sincerest expressions! did he even know he could do this???? maybe everything we've seen so far has been an awkward attempt at it, and this is the first time we've REALLY seen shadow's smile. maybe we've seen him smile, but we're only now seeing him happy. maybe we'll never see it again.

after a lifetime of defaulting to a flat scowl and all these perhaps unintentionally self-assured looking smirks and half-smiles, shadow looks at his sister and smiles for her like it's the easiest thing he's ever done in his life.

this game is gonna make me THROW UP!!!!!!!!!!!!

[beaujagr]

I actually wrote a game that's partially about this, it's about shapeshifters in small rural towns! There are free copies for marginalized folks and a supplement with content for different places!

Hey can we queers please remember that the rural queer experience has unique challenges thanks

[froyocorp]

LOW LEVEL EMPLOYEES RISE UP

[whumpbby]

Dunno, maybe because I'm an old ace my bar for good romance and love interest is a bit higher than the usual romance readers'?

Yeah yeah, he will do everything for his love and nothing is more important than them. Yawn. Yeah yeah, he's the most powerful of them all, but also has childhood trauma. Yaaaawn.

Does he have a job? Does he have friends? Can we see him interacting with people who aren't the protagonist?

Does he have family? Are there people he likes and has relationships with outside of the protagonist? Does he have any responsibilities that can't be easily dropped for the protagonist's sake?

Is he a dick to protagonist's friends/family for no reason other than seeing them as competition/danger/annoyance?

Is he unhinged in a way that doesn't include the protagonist?

[loullipopx]

:)

[beaujagr]

This definitely does have some Beastborn energy!

You don't understand, you should never know, how easy you are to need.

[storchjh]

i just want to go home

[markthemannequin]

OOC

CHAT IS THIS REAL???

I JUST NOTICED THIS. I DIDNT KNOW MARK HAD PRONOUNCE !!!! ????

[beaujagr]

Yay!! I hope you enjoy it :D

For others who see this:

Turn on itch: thoughty.itch.io/turn

Check out the supplement at thoughty.itch.io/towns-like-ours (also on the sites below)

Turn at IPR: https://www.indiepressrevolution.com/xcart/Turn-Print-PDF.html

Turn at DriveThruRPG: https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/281964/turn

My website: briebeau.com/thoughty

My kofi: https://ko-fi.com/thoughty

For marginalized folks, libraries, schools, or community centers, if you want a copy of Turn and can't afford it for whatever reasons, please reach out to me at thoughty-bjs (at) outlook (dot) com with the subject line "Turn Community Copy" and I will do my best to send a hard copy to you until I run out of copies! You can also get pdf community copies at the itchio link above.

It arrived; thank you so much for the physical community copy! @beaujagr