#thoughts on the tangoverse

[thearchangelwrites]

Nightshade and antidote please?

Nightshade: How would the story change if it was told from the antagonist's pov?

The tangoverse is slice of life, so there's not a true antagonist; if there was, it might be the universe itself, and that point of view would be something indeed.

Antidote: What is your revision/editing strategy?

I still haven't decided if I'm going to revise or edit. It's a story I'm writing for me. I'm also an edit-as-I-go girlie for the purposes of SPAG, scene continuity, and thematic drive. If I feel like something could contribute to the theme in a scene I've already written, I will just go back to it right now while the thought is fresh.

[magdaclaire]

the tango dynamic is just so different from the actual archangel dynamic while i also try to preserve enough of what makes the archangels so integral to each other, because they’re so codependently important to one another’s development that it means so so much to me and so much to each other’s stories that even though i’ve altered their dynamic by changing the setting (making them human, making god human, giving them peers, siblings), it’s still been my mission to make it clear that there’s something deeply, deeply intrinsic and strange about the four of them 

like you can’t simply look at raphael, or gabriel, or lucifer, or michael, you have to look at all four of them, or at the very least two of them, to get this kaleidoscope understanding of their collective psyche because they were the only ones old enough to really understand 

it’s the four of them or it’s none of them but it’s also all four of them in pairs (because gabriel looks up to michael in his way, because gabriel and raphael are twins, because lucifer and michael cling to each other even when at one another’s throats, because no one has ever understood raphael and lucifer’s sharpness like each other, because raphael leans on michael more than anyone else, because gabriel has always been lucifer’s favorite), and all of them are so explosively strange. they just,,, mean so much to me

[magdaclaire]

“your heart for mine. i think it’s a fair trade.”

[magdaclaire]

raziel’s dorm is decorated in a menagerie of figurines, tapestries, paintings and carvings, all put together tastefully, but covering enough of the surfaces that it’s quite obvious that the dorm is decorated by only one person, and that person has a theme going. she isn’t sure how she collected so many so quickly, her fascination beginning last year, sixteen and so confused she could hardly focus on the most difficult academic year of her life (graduating high school two years early wasn’t the easiest thing in the world, no matter how she made it look), but she made it. the décor, while all very different from each other in culture and coloring, all comes down to a single theme, really: goddesses of motherhood. 

when one wants to belong, at least, she thinks, one looks for a mother. she’s never had one. never in her life, and she thinks maybe that she’s always been looking for one, she and her brothers never had a mother and something inside of raziel wants to be a mother so badly, so powerfully. she can’t imagine something much more godlike than a mother. not the creation, not the birth, someone gave birth to her once and was never once a mother, so not the birth, but the love. the holding. the having. patching up wounds with a skill borne of a practice only gained in kitchens and bathrooms, kisses and smiles, advice and calm voices. 

she thinks she knew she wanted to be a mother before she ever knew she was a girl.

she’s going to be a doctor. a teacher. a professor of medicine. she will pass knowledge with careful hands and think not of the ache within her; she is measured in putting her emotions behind a wall. this year, she will tell michael who she is. she might even tell daniel. she will study, and she will come closer to the dream that is easier to accomplish, the dream that is practical, the dream that is specific and measurable and attainable and everything that she was told to make it. she leaves her real dreams hanging behind the tapestries, alone in the arms of the mother goddesses, and she reminds herself that she is the practical sibling. 

this is the practical thing. 

[magdaclaire]

despite the fact that he is named after an angel, and despite the fact that his father writes stories that are based off of christianity (or judaism, or islam, something with a menagerie of angels that he couldn’t get past reading the first sex scene of; it seems even he has his limits), sariel has most recently compared himself and the elder lot of his siblings to greek mythos. there’s just something more... romantic about it, though that would be the wrong word, and he’s sure sedakiel would know the correct one. what a way with words their littlest brother has. if he can only find his voice to use them. 

most young boys probably see themselves in heroes. sariel, diving into mythology books headfirst when the silence is too loud to cast itself out, sees himself in the forgotten. 

michael is atlas, and so he carries a staggering burden on his shoulders that others may or may not see. sariel sees it in glances, sees the nights that michael spends tucking the smaller ones into bed and his older brother’s shaking hands, sees the way that he is desperate for something, but no matter how long he sits by his brother’s side, no matter how long he attempts to bogart michael’s attention, wait out his impertinent silence, michael never shares the weight. though it would surely be a relief, he keeps it to himself. he and michael still hold hands when the other children don’t require more of michael’s attention. it’s rare these days. 

raziel is prometheus, a name literally meaning forethought; raz is the only person one in the family who has had a mind for a career path their entire life through. he hates it when sariel calls him raz, though he tolerates it when daniel does it. he and raziel spit insults back and forth even when sariel does not mean to let them forth, vitriolic and sharp, and he knows when he has hit a soft spot in raziel’s armor. he knows because that is when daniel comes between them, says something so terribly daniel of him, and all is forgiven, simply because daniel said the very last word. this is true of most any form of teasing. none is granted except the exalted word of the forgiven brother, the angel, their beloved, their dear, their daniel. 

daniel is epimetheus, hindsight, the afterthinker, their gentleheart, their fool. as awful as it has always been, sariel has always loved him for how easy he was to move to tears. he’s never had to wonder if daniel cared. he remembers when he and michael were moved to a separate nursery when he was six and daniel was five, the way that daniel clung to his fingers and his big eyes welled up with tears, and as much sariel was upset by the sight, he was a little glad of it. his little brother’s chubby fingers grabbing onto his, sticky, begging him to stay, daniel always wants to stay in the past. he wants safety and sariel in the same room like unsettled bedfellows, and no one knows how to tell him how quickly that age is coming to an end. 

and sariel. sariel is menotius. doomed might. menotius comes from “menos” meaning might or power, and “oitos,” meaning doom, pain. he thinks a lot about that - pain, that is. to have a name derived directly from it. moon of god, light of god, that’s what sariel means, but what does it mean? how can he be a light (and of what god?) when he’s so dark inside? so empty? menotius was killed by zeus with lightning during the war of the titans, sent to tartarus, forgotten. even his rule is a supposition, an assumption based off of his name, rather than any sort of recorded knowledge: titan of violent anger and rash action. sariel isn’t an idiot. he knows that finding himself in the titan says more about him than it does about the story. 

doesn’t mean he’s going to stop seeing the resemblance. 

[magdaclaire]

the thing about sariel osmond is that i made him up and yet i’m still not sure how he got so fucked up 

like i made him up and he immediately got away from me, slipped between my fingers, he’s a slippery thing 

he’s just a really hard character to pin down. like he doesn’t have a soulmate. and that’s alright, a lot of people don’t have soulmates. but he has a one-sided soulmateship, and his relationship with michael always leaves him wanting as he’s getting older and michael has more responsibilities (because michael is his big brother, michael was his best friend once, michael was his everything once, his whole life in an apartment at the top of the world), and sariel turns to worse and worse things to try and fill this gaping maw inside of himself and nothing fills it. nothing helps. he’s empty and only getting emptier as he gets bigger and older and he’s supposed to get wiser but sometimes he thinks he was at his wisest when he was nine years old, before michael took the world on his two shoulders, because if michael is atlas, perhaps he is menoetius. doomed might. pride. hubris. 

[magdaclaire]

the tangoverse family is so ,,, i know that i’m the author and so i’m the one who chooses them being so fucked up and yet 

bro they’re so fucked up 

cause it’s like, there’s michael, and then there’s lucifer and raphael and gabriel, and the four of them go right after each other michael is the oldest, then lucifer is one year younger, then raphael and gabriel are the same age and a year younger than lucifer. balthazar, castiel and anna are also their siblings, but it’s like- there’s such a degree of separation that the relationships are wildly different. 

because you know. archangels. angels. things are wildly different.

balthazar is two years younger than the twins (raphael and gabriel) and a year older than the younger set of twins (castiel and anna). he doesn’t really remember being raised by nannies as well as the archangels do, being as michael took over, balthazar was only six. which logically means that there’s only a four year age difference between balthazar, the eldest of the younger half of their siblings, and michael, but it feels like a catastrophic difference because of the responsibilities michael always took on. 

the angels and the archangels (which i’m only calling them for the purpose of this post, they’re human in the fic) don’t even form relationships between the “generations” until they’re adults. outside of michael’s supportive bond with everyone, because he has to know what everyone needs as their caretaker, everyone is mostly left to their peer group, as if they’re not all within five years of each other. 

the dichotomy of angels and archangels. the divide of siblings who know too much and don’t say enough. 

[magdaclaire]

the fic im working on as a companion piece to this 1.6k fic is 12.8k so far (don’t look at me) and includes 

- Michael, the main character, who is the oldest of seven siblings and has practically raised all of his siblings. He was 10 when he started doing this. The youngest two, Anna and Castiel, who are twins, were 5. He got his soulmark when he was 6 and covered it up immediately. He hasn’t really thought about it since. 

- Lucifer, a year younger than Michael, but Michael has always babied him so he’s not exactly the crowned royalty of emotional maturity. Despite being the second sibling, he’s the fourth one to leave high school, and it makes him super bitter. Not cis, not talking about it, still uses he/him pronouns. By 20, he runs a nightclub and is a gang leader. Michael doesn’t bring it up. It seems easier that way. That pisses Lucifer off too. 

- Raphael, a year younger than Lucifer, adopted, a black woman in a white family. She’s a trans woman and came out right after she started college, which was two years before she was supposed to graduate high school; she graduated early because she’s a goddamn genius. She’s getting a teaching doctorate in medicine, because she’s always felt like she’s had two callings, and she’s never been one to choose. 

- Gabriel, same age as Raphael, has always referred to Raphael as his twin despite obvious differences. When Raphael graduated early, he asked Michael if he could drop out, and Michael said yes. Later down the line, he runs a coffee shop, and he’s on the lookout for not one, not two, but three soulmates. 

- Balthazar, two years younger than Gabriel and Raphael, and spent most of his formative years at a boarding school in England of his own choosing. Castiel and Anna are his favorite people in the world, and Michael has never wanted to pry, but he’s not sure that Balthazar has a soulmate. He doesn’t wear a cuff, but sometimes people have marks in less usual places. He simply does not know. 

- Castiel, a year younger than Balthazar, and the actual twin of his sister, Anna. The twins were adopted when they were barely a year old, and Castiel chose his name when he was five; Michael hadn’t done as much research into trans issues yet, being nine years old himself at the time, but he did what he could for Castiel then. Also, Castiel is autistic, diagnosed fully when he was six. Michael brought the Mayo Clinic diagnosis sheet into his father’s office and dropped it on his desk and said “For Castiel.” 

- Anna, the same age as Castiel, obviously, and obviously five years younger than Michael. She loves to dance. Ballet, jazz, tap, contemporary, whatever she can sign up for, and Michael will sign the papers for whatever she prints out, really. In her teenage years, she sneaks out often, but Michael doesn’t stop her. He doesn’t want to smother her, and if she’s sneaking out, she takes her cellphone and she knows where she’s going. She flirts with boys often, but later, she’ll come out as a nonbinary lesbian (she/they). Comphet gets us all. 

This, of course, is why it’s reached 12.8k long, long before Michael ever meets Adam, because for some reason, explaining Michael’s entire life story is inherent to explaining his neurosis for me. I’m 12.8k in and Michael is 21 years old. Michael is 29 when he meets Adam in this universe. 

(this has been in my drafts all day, it’s now at 13.5k ish and cut into chapters)

[magdaclaire]

fuck it i’m getting some kind of scientific journal’s app on my phone 

[magdaclaire]

so in the tangoverse going down the many many lines, grace (one of gabriel’s soulmates) has two friends, and they’re soulmates, but they’ve been best friends since they were children, so there’s mutual pining and they’re not in a romantic relationship bc they decided when they were kids that they were gonna be best friends for life 

so Simon and Felix (those friends) met at science camp, right, and Simon is an inventor/tinkerer/lover of chemistry-type who went to science camp so that his doctor parents (they’re both medical doctors who met at the hospital they work at and said their soulwords to each other mid surgery, they had never met before, they were part of another surgeon’s medical team, his dad wasn’t even planned to be there) could get him out of the house for a month, actually socializing with other nerd kids as an eight year old who was inside a lot. Felix went to science camp less out of a love of practical science and more because he loves, like, the world at large, and nature, more of a lover of biology than chemistry or mechanics, and he’s just a very gentle and loving boy with no small amount of chaotic energy that he dedicates to convincing Simon to conduct ill-advised experiments even though they’re 30 now, for fuck’s sake

they’re youtubers. Felix’s sister manages their Youtube channel (because she was off doing her own thing, but she checked their channel and it was ugly), and Felix and Elissa’s mom pays for them to travel a lot. because they ghost hunt. which multiple characters in the tangoverse canonly have beef with. because of ghost skepticism. at least one character is probably willing to throw hands over this because no character in the tangoverse is well adjusted. both Simon and Felix believe in ghosts; however, Simon believes in a very scientifically quantifiable energy way, because he doesn’t think people just dissipate, and Felix believes in a very spiritual, residual unfinished business way, though he does believe in Simon’s ability to figure out a way to measure most anything 

[magdaclaire]

the tangoverse really says “perhaps the universe says soulmates, but love is about choice. family is about choice. i am choosing you. we are choosing this, and i am loving you, and that is my choice.” 

[magdaclaire]

sometimes i really do get lost in a certain kind of sauce 

[magdaclaire]

writing lucifer in the tangoverse is such a delicate balance because he’s so,,, he’s so hurt, and prideful and damaged, and yet he’s so entitled and elegant and nitpicky about every single little thing, like a princely little bird, which really makes me want to write more of the Michael&Lucifer dynamic of when they were young, to really unpack exactly how michael treated lucifer (and gabriel and raphael, for that matter) for the archangels (human as they might be in the tangoverse) to turn out in such a manner as they do 

[magdaclaire]

the tangoverse pieces that are actively giving me brainworms and thus might become something (aka might become a fic of their own)

adam’s perspective of tango colgada (definitely going to happen, already has some planning, maybe a little structure)

the lucifer piece (makes me absolutely batshit insane, many thoughts, no planning yet)

the raphael piece (no plot yet just vibes, soulmate identified, lots of thoughts, would love to write in her perspective, no planning yet)

THEE gabriel piece (MANY thoughts, no planning, MANY vibes)

a balthazar piece?? (haven’t had a single thoughts about this, would probably be quite short, but saucy??)

t h e e titular lesbian anna milton iconica literature (many thoughts, half a plot, haven’t actually taken down any notes yet, but i know her, she knows me, she is the thought in the back of my head, she knows my address)

THEE castiel piece (MANY thoughts, cas’s pov speaks to me, i get to talk about autistic!cas thoughts for an entire fic?? definitely maybe)

a samandriel piece?? for funsies?? (would be introduced off of the destiel piece bc samandriel is a milton cousin and closest to cas but anyway i would just love to write alfieandriel being soulmates for a lil diddy in this universe)

a soulmate companion piece to gabriel’s piece (if gabriel’s piece happens)

[magdaclaire]

using Anna to both narratively foil and mirror Michael in tango is honestly so much fun because she’s so young and angry compared to Michael who, canonly, is her killer and the fundamental difference between canon!Michael&Anna and tango!Michael&Anna is that the idea of Michael ever ever hurting Anna would baffle Anna tangoverse so completely that it would shake her to her bones, even given how angry and bitter she is about her situation and her loveless, absent father and their empty household and their damaged home 

like Anna has Michael’s drive and his determination and his singleminded focus, but she does it with this bitterness that Michael can’t even begin to understand because all he’s ever done is love his father. Anna is going to the same college as Michael, Anna is going to get a Master’s degree, Anna is finishing her degree in the proper amount of time, she is quiet, she is careful, and then she has outbursts, and that is where she differs from Michael, because until Michael meets Adam, Michael never breaks. 

it’s just so,,, fun. interesting. an allegorical character study, in a way. 

[magdaclaire]

latest summary of the osmond siblings 

Michael Osmond, eldest, cis man, he/him, biological child of Amos Osmond, primary caregiver of his siblings, eventual observational astronomer. 

Sariel Osmond, one year younger than Michael, unspecified nonbinary, he/him, biological child of Amos Osmond, often a bitchy antagonist of his younger siblings/hoarder of his older brother’s attention though he does have a large protective streak, eventual gang leader (his rebellious nature takes several forms). 

Raziel Osmond, two years younger than Michael, trans woman, he/him til 17, she/her once she comes out. Adopted, closest with Daniel as a child, Michael as a teen, and Sariel as an adult. Eventual professor of medicine after graduating high school early to pursue higher education at an expedited rate. 

Daniel Osmond, also two years younger than Michael, cis man, he/him, biological child of Amos Osmond, best friends with Raz, true mediating middle sibling, can’t stand it when people fight, gets in the worst fight with one of his siblings planned on screen, eventual bakery/café owner. 

Camael Osmond, four years younger than Michael, cis man, he/him, biological child of Amos Osmond, noticed a long time ago that he was an odd man out among his siblings and got the hell out of dodge. Eventual fashion designer and, basically, socialite, as he’s the only Osmond sibling extroverted and even tempered enough to stand that social scene. 

Sedakiel Osmond, five years younger than Michael, trans man, he/him, transitioned at a very young age. Adopted, twin of Dina, before Camael asked to be sent to boarding school, Sedakiel was probably closest with him. After, it’s just him and Dina and Daniel. As a teen and young adult, Sedakiel works with plants, but he’s eventually employed as a high school history teaching aide, and then a history teacher. 

Dina Osmond is also five years younger than Michael, obviously, genderqueer, started using she/they at 15 or so, rebellious against Michael and expresses it through never being in the penthouse during her teen years. She and Sedakiel can practically read each other’s minds, and that doesn’t go away as they get older. Eventual holder of a master’s degree in psychology, which she uses to practice, you guessed it, psychology.