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waitmyturtles · 24 days ago

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Gelboys, and the Delicious Art of Eliciting Cringe

A bunch of my amazing friends are doing an amazing project in rewatching the wonderful 2019 drama, Theory of Love, and watching the romcom films that are thematically associated with each ToL episode. Their recent ToL posts have gotten me thinking about Third and cringe.

When I think about Theory of Love, I always firstly think about wanting to chuck a chancla at Third's conker.

I'm a Khai defender, even while admitting that he was a gigantic putz to Third during a lot of the series. But, as the lovely @lurkingshan said to me when I first tuned into ToL -- Third was the architect of his own misery.

Oh, indeed he was. This incommunicative wet blanket! I wanted to keep yelling at Third: if you crush on a person, they can't read yer mind until you say something about it!

Third filled me with a sense of dread and cringe. He couldn't bring himself to communicate his crush on Khai to Khai. My dread came from watching Khai continue to do his Khai things, with my knowing that Third would get increasingly heartbroken vis à vis Khai, without Third intervening unto himself to stop his cascade into misery until it was too late for him. As a viewer, I saw Third devolve, slowly crumbling into more and more despair.

In my 2023 review of Theory of Love, I argued that part of the show's brilliance in presenting such a pitiful Third at the start was a brilliant narrative move to lull us viewers into feeling a sense of implicit empathy towards Third -- a sympathetic bias that would then lead to us viewers to not question Third on his actually very questionable decisions. I thought it was such a good play on the part of the screenwriters to tease us viewers like this.

What I'm absolutely LOVING about the currently-airing Gelboys are similar feelings of simultaneous empathy and cringe for the guys in the love triangle that's been established as of episode three among Fou4mod, Chian, and Bua.

We were first presented with Fou4mod and his life deal: his wildin' family, his musical predilections, his bisexuality -- and his very strong internal demand for clarity in relationships. Surely the moment of crying in the mall to end episode one gave me the teeny-bopper shivers, but I got the strongest sense of cringe from Fou4mod's behavior at the end of episode two, when we saw him -- in real time!!! -- compromise and negotiate around his internal emotional compass for the sake of keeping the waffling Chian close to him.

(h/t @clairedaring )

That shit was just painful to watch (and it was AMAZINGLY well done). For my sake, it was particularly painful because I could so, so, SO relate to being just like that when I was a teenager.

I'm an old mom and auntie now, but ::hacking cough:: back in mah day, I remember being a 15-year-old teenager and thinking that my only rule in relationships would be that if I was lucky enough to date someone cute, then that would be all I'd need. I wouldn't demand anything else. I'd consider myself worthy if someone cute liked me back.

Cue the sirens and alarms! Someone should have, because of course, with that mindset, I got myself into a whole lot of messy-ass shit, dealing with a bunch of assholes during and well after my college years. I had a common mix of low self-esteem and and ill-conceived priorities that led me to date a string of incompatible dillweeds until I got myself into more mature relationships from my mid-20s on (with those relationships not always being perfect ones, either).

I find the cringe that Fou4mod and Chian present to be SO particularly viscerally painful because, to me -- it is SO relatable.

We have here teenagers who don't know what they're thinking, what they're feeling, what they're even doing -- because they don't have the comparative life experience to know what their actions might result in by way of what we, as the more mature and invisible audience, expect as their natural emotional ends. Fou4mod and Chian have no idea, because this is the first time they're going through these waffling human interactions, in love, dating, courtship, relationships, hook-ups, whatever.

Take even Chian's waffling and cringey behavior. I am loving all the varied takes on Chian (cc @tinrange and @mirmoria). It is so easy at this point, now that we've consumed episode three, to perhaps demonize Chian, and I definitely feel at times like I want to do that, too.

But I want to take a step back and assess Chian's existence as we know it at this moment -- from my perspective, of all things, as a worried mom, and as a former teen myself.

I love what @tinrange presented in her post about Chian's existence and status as a teenager who is very, very alone, and is looking for some kind of connection ANYWHERE, no matter how unhealthy he knows, and his friends know, those connections to be. Chian is so alone, we might even consider his current state one of (temporary?) abandonment. I love that his moment getting advice from chatGPT shocked so many of us to states of stomach discomfort.

But, also -- this kid is ALWAYS connected online. The headphones are in. Killing time with his napping and/or studying friends, watching a drama on 2.0x. Scrolling IG endlessly. Repeatedly editing his Close Friends list. Thinking about the symbolism of sharing a story to literally one person. Receiving the heartbreak, in silence, of realizing those symbolic efforts keep cyclically coming to naught as Bua flip-flops his attention to others.

Chian is in an almost constant state of distraction. During the very few times that we see him disconnected -- like the moment above, when he sees Bua with Moo after doing Bua's nails (like a chump), or the moment when he negotiates his unclear status with Fou4mod -- he is able to, finally, get in touch with the discomfort of the instability of his status with Bua. And it's clearly breaking him.

But he's not stopping the cycle, as of episode three. His wheel, for now, seems to keep turning in the same direction, back towards his attraction to Bua, almost serving Bua the attention that Bua wants, on a platter.

Chian, I'd posit, doesn't have the life experience yet to know how to break that cycle. From the perspective of a worried mom, what would I say to Chian? "That Bua guy is a POS, you gotta move on"?

My advice would be useless, we know that. We know Chian's not been listening to his friends, to the point of his friends giving up on Chian, knowing Chian is going to repeat the cycle of servitude and rejection that he's been dishing up to Bua.

But besides Chian not listening to his friends, I'll say again that Chian -- especially without the physical presence of supportive and empathetic family near him to give him perhaps sounder advice than his friends -- does not have the guidance or skill set to know HOW to change his behavior. He might only be able to break away from Bua when Bua does something idiotic or drastic. Which, we know, will leave Chian even more in the dumps -- because that specific scenario would leave Chian with absolutely no agency to change his hoped-for outcomes.

WE, as the viewers, know how Chian needs to change his behavior. But Chian, as a very wonderfully written natural teenager, has no idea how to do that yet. And I think that's just so very raw and realistic, and it's being beautifully done in this show.

What was great about Khai in Theory of Love was that, in the second half of the series, we saw him engage in very specific acts of behavioral change to get to a place to be a realistic partner to Third. I talked in my ToL piece about how behavioral change is very much the most difficult type of change a human can make.

While I don't have a lot of hope for a positive outcome for Chian (YET), I am at least encouraged by Fou4mod continuing to dally around the center of his own moral compass, hinting to Chian that he'd like an update on that status question, stat.

Fou4mod centers himself around his desire for clarity, even though he's really messing around the edges of it, eliciting the concern of Baabin. But Fou4mod still has that conviction. It hasn't burnt out yet. He has hope, and that hope is defining and disappointing him, as we see in the last scene of the episode, as he stands in-between Bua, Moo, and Chian. And unlike Chian -- Fou4mod has family, lots of it, around him, and a friend that's patiently by his side, there to comment on Fou4mod's navigation of this very titchy and ick situation.

Fou4mod has optimism and is guided by his center. Bua seems like a big ol' playa (but we'll find out more if/when we get an episode about him). While Chian, in many ways, does indeed deserve to be put into a blender, I want to make one little note of hope I have for him, something that makes me cringe at him just a tiny little bit less:

While Bua used his Close Friends list to show off his flirting towards Moo to Chian, Chian removed Fou4mod from his list before he uploaded his own flirtatious moment with Bua.

The whole IG flirting circle thing is just messy and uncool anyway. But at least Chian thought to put up a boundary that Bua himself hadn't thought of. Maybe Chian will show us a glimpse of an internal compass that we're unaware of as this series goes on.

#gelboys #gelboys the series #fou4mod x chian x bua x moo x baabin #boss naruebet kuno #boss kuno #new chayapak #pide monthapoom #fou4mod #fou4mod x chian #chian x fou4mod

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shatcey · 1 month ago

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Victor theories (after the trailer)

I just scream a bit… bear with me. I'M SO HAPPY I don't have to buy a tamagotchi and kill it. Thank you, Cybird. Okay… This is my last last theory post. The second last post. I do not know how it happened.

@.kurishiri made a translation of the trailer in case you didn't see it yet. In this post, I will use screenshots from this translation.

The thoughts in my head are jumping from one to another. I tried to structure them, though it doesn't seemed to worked out properly. But… I wanted to write it as soon as possible, before something distracted me. Sorry about it.

His age

The first thing I noticed was that Vivi not only has shorter hair, but he looks younger!!!!!

He looks about 15-16 years old… maybe I'm wrong. But… it looks like that to me…

And the words that we see… repeat the words of our beloved Kate.

I'm going to scream! IT WAS HIM!!!! I KNEW IT!!!!

(clear throat)

I'm back to normal.

So, the younger version of Victor that we see in this video was with Kate. Kate is now 25-26, and it happened in her very young years (she barely remembers it)… for example, 20 years ago. This number was on Jude's route… WTF, why not? So…

So... 20 years ago, Vivi was 15-16 years old… So we're back to 35-36 years old. It fits perfectly.

His origin

Another thing that is very hard to miss is his clothes. Larger version from the announcement of episode 0.

At first I thought maybe it was a school uniform. Because of his age… it's possible. But at that time, boys wore the same clothes they do now. A fairly simple shirt, tie, and black suit. Even if we assume that he just took off his jacket, the shirt is too fancy. And a ribbon… not exactly fitting.

Next I thought about Elbie and Ally's shirts… they have a similar style, but not quite. But the ribbon he wears is too simple for nobility. But at the same time… the quality of the shirt says otherwise. Not to mention the stone brooch… So maybe… He comes from a rich family, that become poor. These clothes can be explained that way. But… church schools were only for orphans, no? Or for family members, as we learned.

But I have a feeling that he looks more like a scholar. It looks like he studied theology, maybe he was preparing to become a priest? Haven't I been thinking too much about Faust lately? Maybe.

Is this even a church?

The statue does not look like a modern God… Yes, we have large windows that let in a lot of light (which often symbolizes closeness to God), chandeliers and benches��. but… It feels a little different. Do you see? The statue is too big… and… architecture… is not quite right. It is somewhat reminiscent of Ancient Greece. What is this place?

Fatalism

I firmly believe in fate, so I am extremely happy to see this part. The fact that Kate was back in his life…

I agree that it's probably very strange to meet someone after so many years and in such strange circumstances. If situations continue to overlap one another, despite the fact that the probability that happen is very low… people usually call it fate.

But he's talking again (this time) about fate as a person. Maybe it's just a figure of speech…

That ribbon of his won't let me go… The simple ribbon was mentioned in the bitter ending of Ellis' story in event "Bound to You".

Kate was extremely fascinated by this ribbon. Considering that Kate met Victor with a simple ribbon a long time ago. Perhaps that's why this symbol seems so attractive to her… Forgotten memories, associations…

And the fact that Kate remembers him… there are already two facts about him… mean that he made a strong impression. What happened back then?

Actually in the Dark IF story (translated by @.reccyls)... she sort of remembered him because of his hair...

Yes, he is a magnificent man and makes a strong impression. Maybe it's just an impression. But I'd like to think it was more than that.

I talked about this in my "last post with the theories". Yeah, right… the last.

So… Maybe they were just meant to be together. And that's why (maybe) Vivi let her go many years ago… to keep her safe. And perhaps that's why he feels sad when he says that "fate is playing her cards".. He doesn't want to involve Kate in his life… but Fate has a different opinion.

On the other hand… all the guys "endings" (I'm not talking about… no, it's an untranslatable joke) usually called grim fate. In the sense of the inevitability of missing it, changing it. This is what will happen no matter what. (But we still won't give up!!!) Maybe that's what Victor was talking about. And, perhaps, this has something to do with his grim fate. His grim fate drew Kate into his life. His grim fate made it happen. His grim fate is... so persistent. Peculiar…

His loyalty

This was one of the versions of what his curse might be. I've talked about it… here. But it is very questionable. Victor constantly calls himself the Grim Reaper, the palace Reaper (which kind of resembles Sariel.. who calls himself the devil). So maybe it's just one of the nicknames and has nothing to do with his real curse.

And the last line… totally different from what we've heard before. On every route, they are told us that Crown "destroys evil with evil". So… they don't deny that they are evil, but they do it with a good purpose. But… here Victor said that he was devoted to evil… Maybe the guys don't know who they really work for? Maybe the Queen, as I assumed earlier, is not human at all? Interesting…

Or maybe… He's just being dramatic. He talked about himself as something dark and bad. Maybe it's the curse that makes him think of himself that way…

And a bit more...

It's just a guess. You can't look him in the eye when he gives an order to his victim, otherwise you'll die as well. It's almost the same as a William's curse. He also must look the victim in the eye. It looks a bit like a snake. Has the thought of Sari stuck in my head???? Maybe… no… he's not Hydra.

So… he sold his freedom to get his curse? This… impossible, the curse doesn't work that way. Maybe… he exchanged? What? And again… who is the Queen? Victor belongs to Victoria. Does he have sort of contract with her? Is she the Death itself??? It would be too good to be true...

The design of the spikelet on the dividers I took from Designed by Freepik

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🔝 𝕊𝕋𝔸ℝ𝕋 ℙ𝔸𝔾𝔼 🔝

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#ikemen villains #ikemen villians #ikevil #victor #ikemen victor #ikemen villains victor #ikevil victor #victor theory

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remcycl333 · 1 year ago

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my sp story <3

hi besties! if you've been following my blog for a while you know that i've been single for a while, partly because i like to be independent and single, and partly because i just didn't like anyone. obviously i could just manifest a guy out of thin air, but when im not confronted face to face with a crush then i just don't care about being in a relationship so i never manifested someone out of thin air lol

but then a couple of weeks ago i was at the movies with my friends, and there were couples cuddling around us and i was like "aw :( kinda wish i had a bf now." and what do we do when we feel any type of desire? we immediately fulfill ourselves, no matter how "small" the desire is! so that's what i did. i imagined for like two seconds that i was cuddling with a boy at the theaters, and then i got distracted by the movie and forgot all about it

then like 15 minutes later, a guy that i'd had a crush on four years ago randomly slid into my dms. i never pursued him four years ago bc my bff at the time had dibs on him, but we're not friends anym and haven't been for years so it was my time to shine!!!

anyway, we talk for like a week. i know this guy is funny and shit bc of when we hung out irl, but like all he's sending me are unfunny memes that don't really warrant a response. so it was kinda tough

and this is the part where you guys are going to yell at me!!! i was like oh i should use my manifestation skills and make sure this goes smoothly....but then i was like nah im just gonna go with the flow 😭😭😭 and i know you guys are like REM!!!! u manifest EVERYTHING u can't just turn it off!!!! anyway.....long story short a week into us talking this mf randomly blocks me!!!!

so im instantly like 🙄🙄 damn fine i'll manifest him back bc im stubborn and do not like being told no in my reality

so how did i do it? how did i manifest him back?

if you guys have followed me for a while, you know that i manifested an sp a couple years ago by simply affirming "i love [his name] so much" any time i'd think of him and this would conjure the feeling of the wish fulfilled. (NOT mindless affirming. i'd say it maybe two or three times to catch the feeling and then move on)

ANYWAY so that's what i did! and let me tell you....i was not "perfect" by any means 😭 in fact this manifestation really kinda opened my eyes on how EASY manifestation truly is. like i already knew how easy it was, but damn!

if you know that your desire is promised and that it is coming because you gave it to yourself in imagination (even ONCE) ... there is NOTHING that will stop it. i was gonna make a separate post on this and i tried but i just couldn't articulate it correctly so im going to try again:

it took 12 days to manifest him to unblock me and message me. im sure it would've taken a shorter amount of time if i was more disciplined with myself but it's kinda crazy bc of how UNdisciplined i was 😭 tbh i was just kinda like...unsure if i even wanted to manifest him at all bc thats how much i value my alone time and my independence lol

anyway, i always get asks from people who are stressed and anxious bc they think that in order to manifest your desire, you can never enter the state of lack ever again and that dwelling in negative thoughts will "ruin" your manifestations. but i am here to tell you IT DOES NOT MATTER!!! you do not need to be "perfect"!!!! as long as you are staying faithful to the idea that you have your desire in the 4d, it'll manifest in the 3d.

another thing i see so many people confused and stressed about is whether or not they're naturally thinking from the state. for instance, every time you think of your sp, you think from the end of being in a relationship with them, before you think of the fact that you're not together yet. and let me tell you....while this CAN happen, it's not always gonna happen and it's not necessary. let me tell you, the DAY before my sp reached out, and even the day that he did....i would catch myself thinking about how we weren't together! but the gag is....YOUR THOUGHTS DON'T MANIFEST!!!! yes, they indicate what state you're in, but the actual thoughts themselves don't mean shit!!! they don't manifest. they just don't!

so i'd shift back to the state of being my sp's girlfriend when i'd have these thoughts, but i was fully aware we were not together in my 3d and i never naturally thought of us as being together before i saw any evidence of it in my 3d. all i had was the knowing that my inner man was with my sp, and that since i'd decided i had it in imagination, it would push out into my 3d. because that's how the law works!!! and honestly, that's all you really need. you just need to know that since you gave yourself your desire in your imagination ONE TIME, it WILL manifest. and if you have a true understanding of how the law works and you've read source, you will have no trouble knowing that it will come.

you also do NOT need to be in the state of the wish fulfilled 24/7!!! at all!!!! i cannot stress this enough. and tbh i used to feel the same. i felt like i had to be aware of having my desire in imagination 24/7 or else it wouldn't come. i thought i couldn't perceive the lack or opposite in my 3d or else it wouldn't manifest (see this post about dismissing the 3d btw if u need help with that). but the gods honest truth is that all you need to do is DECIDE you have your desire in imagination & not take no for an answer & KNOW that your desire is GOING TO REFLECT IN YOUR 3D NO MATTER WHAT!!!!

and that's not to say that you wont still get anxious and have intrusive thoughts and be like "oh god what if it never manifests." like... im human and i had those human moments. but i just reminded myself that i know the law and ive proven it to myself many times and i know that it had to manifest.

anyway. back to my sp story!

so for these 12 days that im blocked (lmfao) all i did was affirm "i love [his name] so much" whenever i thought of him until i caught the feeling of the wish fulfilled. that's it. and i knew for a fact that he was mine in the 4d and therefore we'd be together in the 3d bc that's the law!

anyway on friday (5 days ago) at 8pm? im scrolling thru the ulta app and then im like "oh i havent fulfilled myself today i dont think" so i fulfilled myself for like 2 seconds and then get distracted by some product and then two minutes later i get a notif that this guy followed me and then dmed me 😭

it's funny cuz my irls don't know about the law of assumption so i sent them a screenshot and i was like "look who came crawling back" and they were like BOOOOO!!! and i was like no guys!!!!! i created the blocking and i created this like i promise we can trust him 😭😭 hahahaha

anyway. let me tell you. if you are manifesting an sp, DO NOT DO THAT SHIT IN STEPS!!!!! i mean, if you really want to, i can't stop you, but i really don't recommend it.

with my old sp (the one from two years ago) i'd always manifest contact and then get it, and then he'd ghost me and and id have to manifest contact again and it'd be a never ending cycle!!! bc i was just focusing on contact, not on how i felt or how he felt about me.

the reason i loveeee to affirm "i love my sp so much" INSTEAD OF "HE loves ME so much" is because it helps me catch the feeling of the wish fulfilled so much more. not only that, but because remember, THERE IS NO ONE TO CHANGE BUT SELF!!!! changing the way i see my sp and the way i feel about him is all i need to do. im not trying to change him and make him love me lol. this is about me and my inner reality, not him! he'll reflect whatever i am in the 4d

another reason i love affirming this is because TO ME, this is what implies we are already together. whenever im in a relationship, i always find myself laying around all giddy thinking about how obsessed with my bf i am and how i love him so much. so i emulate that when im manifesting an sp.

and it's PERFECT because by jumping straight to the end where we're already together, i don't have to focus on all the things that lead to us being in a relationship. i don't have to manifest him following me, or texting me, or asking me on a date. these things all just happen naturally bc im living in the end.

NOT TO MENTION, it naturally turns your sp into your perfect partner? like remember when i said when we were talking before he blocked me he was kinda dry and he'd just send memes that i didn't find funny? THIS DUDE DID A COMPLETE 180!!!

he's sooo funny, he is the OPPOSITE of dry, he is everything???? and im obsessed.

anyway he unblocked me and dmed me, and then asked for my number and we had such funny and cute convos and then boom 4 days later he asks me on a date and i say no (😭😭😭😭 i was busy) but i agreed to go on a date the next day and the way this boy showed pure unencumbered excitement 🥺 im obsessed

anyway im sorry this is so long? i really just wanted to share how all i did was apply what i've been preaching about on this blog for years and it worked out flawlessly! hopefully this gives you guys some good tips and maybe motivation? <3

#law of assumption #success story

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sakuraryomen01 · 8 months ago

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Valentino /Sukuna Ryomen x Fem! Reader/ .11 [Slight Nsfw]

warnings: asshole sukuna, college prep. school (aka bitch u at an expensive ass school), former friends to lovers, slow burned love, yuji is sukuna's little brother, ec project with Nickolas the transfer student, drunk sukuna shows up at the dorm(!?), a small makeout session, some sexual touching and mentions of grinding/humping at readers thighs, caring for this stressed out man-slut, ooc sukuna.

reader: female reader; 23 years of age, college prep.

plot: It's been years since you've moved from country life, since you've forgotten about all the things you used to love about your hometown and where you grew up from... you didn't think it'd chase you to college in the city after almost a decade..

words: 5.036k

fanfic masterlist: .o1 .o2 .o3 .o4 .o5 .o6 .o7 .o8 .o9 .10 .11 .12 .13 .14 .15 .16 .17 .18 .19 .20

a/n: hey guys! sorry for the delay ^^ i've been wanting to get some chapters drafted before posting them! ty sm for the patience i hope u enjoy and r ready for the upcoming drama between sukuna and y/n!

a/n 2: so so sooooo sorry for being three days later after saying i'd be posting right away!!>< I was with family and the wifi was being iffy the last few days. I couldn't access many of my socials and much less work on the final draft of the chapter!! i powered thro until i was satified and it's finally here! i hope you enjoy!!

chapter/idea cred to: @misslauravillanueva i needed to give credit for the help! i was struggling on what to do!><

. . .

Thank you for reading this! Enjoy!

“Achoo!”

“Ah, are you alright?” Geto’s cool tone echoed from the kitchen, his brow raised with a curious expression written on his face. “Coming down with something? I told you to relax from studying for a while–”

“It’s not that!” You huff, cheeks burning with embarrassment. ”I just sneezed. I don’t know why though..”

“Okay, relax. I’m not gonna get upset.”

With a pout, you leaned against the armrest of the couch. Bowl of mac and cheese with little hot dogs in hand and a Coke on the coffee table. Eyes returning back to the TV screen and watching the current crime show playing, listening to the crimes that the murderer committed as he was handed a death sentence.

Sometimes, when I let my mind wander to Sukuna.. It feels like that.

The idea that he’s now stuck on your mind despite all the anger he had towards you. The almost strange obsession and addiction to the idea of him. While you’ve been repetitively trying to control these new emotions and thoughts, you couldn’t help it. Seeing Sukuna that day in Ec class all those days ago. Having to tutor him. Even dealing with his weird smirks and teasing.

..That kiss too..

“Your face is doing that thing again, Y/n,” Geto’s voice chirped out of nowhere, causing you to jolt in your spot. “So jumpy over a guy? You know therapy exists, right?”

Returning a rather poorly chosen burn, Geto stood from his spot on the couch and waved a hand at you. Grabbing his things and his shoes from the carpet near the door, he sent you another telling look.

“If you're this upset, just ask what's up. Seriously, seeing you get stressed over this is kinda.. sad.”

There was a stabbing pain in your chest. You knew.

“Good night to you too, Suguru,” You hum, leaning on your fist as the door closed with a click. Leaving you alone in the dormitory for a few moments.

Your thoughts clouding your headspace until you decided to go to bed. Unable to understand this dreadful lil thing people called love, unable to understand why Sukuna Ryomen had crawled his way into your heart just by being an ass.

Tomorrow is another day.. Right?

. . .

“Today we'll be picking partners for class projects!”

Eh?? Ehhhhh????

You blinked a few times at the announcement, looking down towards Toji as students began to groan and complain a little. Quickly these were silenced as Toji lifted a stack of papers and chuckled deeply in his husky voice.

“It's not my problem, just get them done. You have two weeks to do it, so get your partners. The class is uneven so be ready for one of y'all's groups to have an extra person. It's a self-pick topic type of thing so start discussing today or tomorrow your topic and go with it!”

Toji tapped the papers on his desk and sat, letting his tie loose as he started relaxing for the rest of the period.

“If you need suggestions for your topic, there's a list in here along with your presentation requirements. I expect all names and correct citations with these as well.”

You let out a small groan and rub your temple. Not only were you stressed, now you had to deal with this? Extra shifts at work couldn't save you from this type of annoyance. It's not that you hated group projects, it's just a small tick when half of them throw the work onto you.

Pros and cons. Pros– none. Cons– work was usually tossed onto you.

You stood from your desk and began making your way down the steps to grab a paper. A strange chill ran up your spine as you passed Sukuna’s. Sparing a glance over, your cheeks warmed almost immediately.

Some bits of hair were pinned back and a pen rested on an ear. His shirt had a few buttons undone with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Black pants tight enough to have made a bakery spawn on the seat he sat upon. He looked really handsome, daring to battle even Toji’s good looks, and it was getting to you.

What hit the nail in the coffin is when he just so happened to catch you ogling with your tongue practically hanging out of your mouth. His eyes sharpened at your expression as a smirk curled at the corners of his lips.

An almost playful yet teasing smile you weren't used to seeing on his face caught you off guard. It made your face hot, and your shame grow a few beats in that moment.

“Stop creeping” was basically what his face was saying.

Letting out a strained cough, you covered your face and made your way back up to your desk. Positive that his eyes had followed you all the way up the stairs before you sat in your spot. Hiding behind the paper and some random book you grabbed from your bag.

You couldn't be more obvious, could you?

While fellow students started to shift in their seats and partner up with friends and just random buddies from in the room, Sukuna was swarmed with a small audience of girls as he stood from his seat to also fetch a paper. The guys that sat around him gave him annoyed side-eyes and snorts as he absorbed the attention from all the women in the room.

“Sukuna, do you wanna partner with me?” One asked, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose and letting the blush on her cheeks show.

“Me too, we could all do it together!” Another spoke up, poking her button nose into their conversation. Her bright green eyes staring up at Sukuna with a needy gleam.

It makes you confused to an extent, making you press your brows together as you look to the side. Sukuna probably thought that's what you looked like every time you saw him. It makes your heart ache and head throb, another grand headache to your already upsetting day.

Just let your mind be normal for once in your life.

You begin to gather your things and part from the room, the hustle and bustle of the classroom quietly fading into the background. Letting out a relaxed sigh as the sight of your bed creeped into the corners of your mind– oh, how you wished to be relaxing in bed with your favorite stuffy.

“Hello, miss? Would you like to be my partner for the project?” A voice suddenly called from behind you, somewhat echoing throughout the quiet hallways. It startled you since you didn’t expect anyone to follow you out of the classroom asking such a thing, it piqued your interest.

Lifting your head, you come face to face with someone you didn’t know.

His dark hair was up in a bun with his undercut showing behind his pierced ears, a kind smile flashing behind yet another piercing on his lip. Tanned skin that seemed to glow like it was pampered with the best beauty products around, not a scar or pimple in sight. Cute dimples at the corners of his lips adding to his boyish charm while his honey eyes gleamed at you. It reminded you of Yuji in a sense, but this was not Yuji.

You’ve never seen this guy before– a really cute one at that.

“Hello,” you say, momentarily stunned at the stranger, letting your hand weakly wave. “Uhm, partner?”

There was an adorable chuckle that furthered your stunned silence before you heard a response. “Yes, I saw you walk out here alone and thought you might need one.”

You take in a deep breath, regaining your composure quickly and patting yourself down. “Ah, right. I actually don’t like having a partner, my past experiences have led me to conclude that they’re not the best option for a project. Besides, I’m a big girl, I can handle one on my own.”

“I can see why,” He starts, looking back at the classroom with the still clamoring students before returning his attention to you. “That horde in there was after one guy, they don’t care about this project. I was actually about to do the same as you when I saw my choices were so low.”

Rubbing a big calloused hand over his nape, the strangers’ almond eyes looked from the empty halls and to you, his smile sheepish. “Please? Don’t make me beg now.”

There was a small silence between you and the stranger as you considered walking off and letting him go with his original plan before the Economics class erupted with whines as Sukuna and a girl walked from inside. The color left your cheeks, seeing the girl’s arm wrapped tightly around Sukuna’s. Looking as if he was protecting her from the growing crowd of the class, engaging in an active conversation as they walked on by.

Your heart sank sharply, seeing Sukuna letting someone else into his circle. He used to be so cold, so annoyed with people when he was younger. Only letting you really hold him that close, giving you nuzzles of appreciation since he didn’t like to say it aloud.

Now, he gives you the cold shoulder and holds others that aren’t you close.

Without letting your head finish its last thought and your eyes still trained on the back of Sukuna’s head, you gave a nod and looked back at the stranger. “Sure. I’m Y/n L/n, by the way.”

“Really? That’s great!” He smiled, the warmth of his company lightening your mood sufficiently more than it was a few moments ago. “My name’s Nickolas Alveres, it’s nice to meet you, L/n.”

The both of you share a smile for a second before Nickolas nods down the hall, motioning for the both of you to head to your next classes. He doesn’t wait for you to join him, but you do anyway. Trying to make small talk with him as you try to get to know your partner, letting the smile on your lips stick.

While you wore a smile, someone else had a frown. A deep scowl, if you will. You didn’t feel it, but Sukuna’s partner saw it.

She raised a brow, cheeks tinted a slight color as she cast her gaze in the same direction. Seeing you close to another man, only escalating the befuddlement.

“What’s wrong, Sukuna?”

A disgruntled look was plastered all over said man’s face, his frown so prominent it was a waste of time to even attempt to hide it. A chasm of wrinkles forming on his forehead as his brows pressed together at the sight before him. Watching the way you and some kid walked side by side with a smile on your face, not a care in the world.

When did you get so chummy?

“It’s nothing.. Let’s go, Haru,” He said, not sparing a second to look back at you. With a huff, he pulled his work partner, Haru, with him to the nearby library to find a good subject for this project.

It’s what he wanted anyways.. right?

. . .

“Wait, wait.. He punched Gojo in the face?!” Nickolas laughed, holding his cup up to his lips quickly to cover his giggles and chuckles. His nose crinkled up as they continued despite his obvious resistance. “He must’ve been drunk too to get so defensive!! I thought he was just a jerk most of the time.”

“Usually he is,” You start, crossing your legs under the coffee table. Looking over some of the notebooks the both of you had sprawled out onto the wood to look for any good topics to talk about in the presentation. Quickly, you scribbled out one, taking a sip from your cup and looking back up to Nickolas. “Recently though, he’s been alright. Not as mean as he used to be, but not one-hundred percent rude and annoying.”

A calm silence filled the air as Nickolas rested his work in his lap, taking a moment to look from them to you. “Speaking of, how long have you known this guy? You talk about him like he’s an old friend.”

The corner of your lips twitch upwards for a short second before you let your face relax. “He was. Not really interested in joining forces again recently.”

Nickolas nodded his head in understanding, eyes glazing over somewhat on what response to give. Seeing that the idea of this guy somehow hurt you, it got him concerned. Why bother letting him get to you so deeply if this is the result? It doesn’t make sense.

“Don’t let it get to you too much, Y/n,” He mustered after a short silence, placing his cup on the coffee table and letting his ring tap against the plastic. “If he’s still letting you be this close, even helping you care for a friend, that’s gotta be something.”

You nod numbly, knowing the obvious has been said too many times. Talk to him, ask him how he’s doing about the relationship, what does he want from you? The same three things that you always wanted to say when you were with him, but how. Other than tutoring, other than being near each other in class, you and Sukuna spent little to no time together.

All you remember about him is that he was the tough kid in school with home problems that liked to play tag and hide and seek. That he scared you with bugs and frogs while at the lake or near the Willow tree. The fond memories you shared with him couldn’t be the only factor that you had to use to judge what you wanted, you had to be around him more.

How was going to be the hardest puzzle to solve.

“Oh well,” Nickolas yawned, stretching his arms over his head. “It’s about time i get headed to my dorm. I have an early class tomorrow. I’ll leave you my number so that we can plan meetings for the project!”

Jokes and laughter filled the room as you and your partner exchanged information when there was a loud commotion at the door. You glanced from Nickolas to the dorm door and let out a light hearted chuckle, waving your hands next to your head.

“Ah, I’ll go get that! Gather your things, okay?”

Nickolas nodded and turned to his open binder and mess of notebook paper splayed on the coffee table, humming to himself as you rushed over to the front door. Hair stood at attention when you opened that door, seeing a messed up man laying on the hallway floor. A big wine bottle squeezed tightly in his right hand, the other placed next to his head on the floor.

His voice came out in gentle hums of some random rock song, lyrics jumping out from his mouth every second or so in a drunken daze. His fluffy hair was messy and almost unrecognizable until you realized who it was.

It was Sukuna.

“Wh.. What are you doing here?” You shout, shocked at his arrival, but there was not really a response. Only his hand raising to wave his finger around to the hum of his song. “Sukuna, answer me!!”

“..rather be.. Than lonely..”

Letting out a sigh, you look back at Nickolas and see his confused face staring at the gap between you and the door down at Sukuna. He stood there ready to go with his bag strap on his shoulder and keys in hand, giving you quick glances for some semblance of an answer. You give a small shrug, looking back to the immobile man on the ground.

Gently, you kick at one of his legs to try and get something out of him. “Sukuna, get up!”

Not a single thing, just a grunt and a tussle before your eyes finally connect with glazed ones. Maroon pools that were foggy beyond belief, not having a thought behind them. Nickolas tilts his head to the side and shakes it, giving you a pat on the arm and a sheepish smile.

“I'll get out of your hair, Y/n. Good luck!”

You step out of the man’s way, looking down at the disgruntled Sukuna and give a weak chuckle. Parting ways with Nickolas for the evening and kneeling down to Sukuna and shaking his shoulder. “Sukuna, you’ll get sick, get up.”

“..Doesn’t matter,” Sukuna mumbled, closing his eyes and taking a sip of his drink. “F’m sick, I’ll just be sick..”

“It does matter, now get up.”

You did your best to pull Sukuna up by his arm and into a sitting position, hooking the limp appendage over your shoulder and lifting him up onto his feet. It was a struggle since Sukuna was so heavy, but you managed. The stench of alcohol reeked from his breath and shirt, mixes of dirt and some stains that you didn’t feel the need to ask where they came from.

Stumbling into your dormitory you freed the near empty beer bottle from Sukuna’s grasp and pulled the door close. He wasn’t giving much fight– probably due to the amount he drank– and just leaned his weight onto you. Mumbling to himself about things you weren’t going to pressure him into answering. Still, it made you wonder.

What the hell drove him to come to my place?

Surely, he wouldn’t mind answering that.

With a huff to your lips you plopped Sukuna’s heavy ass onto the couch and folded your arms. The beer bottle in your hand swirling around as you rotate your wrist ever so slightly, brow raising at Sukuna’s nearly asleep form. It was odd to see the big, strong and mean Sukuna Ryomen on his last leg from intoxication.

Despite this, you found it cute.

“I’ll go get you some water and maybe a change of clothes,” You announce, tilting your head to see if that gauges a reaction. Sadly there was nothing but a huff and some finger taps on the couch’s cushions. Letting your arms fall to your side, you grunt and place the beer on the table. “Whatever, I’ll be right back.”

You grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and some extra sheets from your bedroom before making your way back into the living room to Sukuna. A fresh set of clothing was provided, thanks to Geto’s many late night bang sessions with Shoko, and some cooling pads were placed next to Sukuna on the couch. He didn’t do much but glance at the items, turning his face away in– what you assumed– was a quiet protest.

Sukuna never acted this petty and spoiled before. What’s gotten into him?

“Let’s get you changed, yeah?” Gently, you press your hands to his chest, earning a reaffirming nod and proceeding to undo the buttons of his collared shirt.

It was strange to be in this position. On your knees, undressing the man you’ve pinned for for so long, only to be seeing this messy and unkempt side you didn’t like to imagine him being. The feelings in your chest that you wanted to put away were making your heart race once more, every glance you got to see from the mess you called Sukuna.

His hair made him resemble his brother more than anything else now, hanging over his sweaty forehead and tattoo. Arms hanging loosely at his sides, man spreading for all of the world to see. Shamefully, you enjoyed the calm attention. Even though it was unsightly, you liked getting to touch all over Sukuna’s body.

“There,” You mumble to yourself, having officially released Sukuna from his shirt. “N-Now, onto your..”

Trailing off, you look down at Sukuna’s pants. Swallowing thickly at the idea of pulling off his trousers, you took a deep breath. I’m never going to live this shame down!

Gently, you began to undo his belt. You face burning ever more as the air began to tense, wishing that anyone but you would be this bashful over something so silly. Still, regret hit you harder than the embarrassment or shame ever could.

Sukuna was watching you. Watching your hands slip the belt loose, pulling his button undone and pulling at his waistband. You tugged, unable to yank them down and free his lower half.

“Sukuna.. Can you lift your hips?” You ask in a soft voice, startled by the quick response. But what was it really, he was watching your every move. You felt like you were being examined in some office and not helping Sukuna undress. “Thank you.”

“Mm.”

Making haste of the situation, you pulled down the fabric of his trousers and grabbed the loose shorts you had found from earlier. Ignoring all thoughts of Sukuna and how perfect his legs looked, the thick black bands of his tattoos on the fat of his thigh. The way the bulge in his briefs was much a cause for distraction, even denying that it twitched once freed from it’s confines.

Yep, never happened.

“There, all better,” You sigh, satisfied. “Now that your ready for bed, I’m going to do the same.”

It took a few minutes, but you had completely reclothed Sukuna and he now looked more sleepy and ready for bed rather than drunk off his ass and about to black out on the couch. You had struggled to even get him to take a sip of water and sober up, but to no avail. You figured you’d have to try again tomorrow morning and explain the situation once he woke up in a confused fit.

Getting him comfortable on the couch too was another ordeal you didn’t think you’d go through, but you did. Tucking in the large male until he was all cozy and warm, safely resting his head on one of your spare pillows.

“I’ll see ya in the morning, Ryo,” You mumble, letting your mind wander for a moment and tracing the outline of one of his tattoos on his bicep. Feeling the muscle twitch under your touch momentarily.

“Mgh,” Sukuna muffled out, cheeks warm to the touch.

Letting out another sigh, you stand from your spot next to the couch. Only to be pulled back towards the culprit at hand, falling ass first next to his lap. Sukuna didn’t make a sound, just grasped onto your hips and pulled you in for a hug. His arms anchored around your lower stomach, pressing into the arch of your spine and forcing you to press against him as well.

His nose was pressed into the crook of your shoulder, but you continued to crusade for answers from the sudden affection. “AGH! Sukuna, that was highly uncalled for!! What the hell do you think you’re doing?! Answer me, dammit–!!”

“Who was that guy?”

You flinch, caught off guard. The clarity and conviction in Sukuna’s voice was strange, seeing as he had been stumbling and leaning into you for the last few moments. “Uhm, my Economics partner Nickolas. It shouldn’t matter, you need to sleep!”

“I don’t need sleep,” Sukuna grunts out, lifting himself off of the couch and trapping you underneath him. Using his big arms like a cage, eyes locking you in place with a vice on your heart. “What was he doin’ hanging here?”

“Sukuna, this is childish,” You start, ready to defend yourself for a confrontation. “He’s my class partner, you shouldn’t be upset over it.”

Wait.. why was he upset?

Previously, he had never seemed to give a flying fuck what you did or whom you did it with. What’s with the sudden change of heart? It made yours ache at the possibilities, wondering what could it be that made him so hostile all of the sudden over Nickolas.

“I barely know him anyways..”

“And you let him sit here on this couch?”

There was a small slap sound as skin met skin, Sukuna’s palm and fingers grasping your chin and cheeks. A gentle but firm squeeze sent shivers down your spine, your hand reaching up to try and pull Sukuna’s off but to no avail. His eyes scanned your face for anything, a sign.

Something. Anything that would make this ache in his chest stop.

“What is he to you, huh?” His voice came out rough, deep. Intimidating.

It was scary, but a shudder was sent up your spine. A lustful and unneeded shudder, one that sent ideas to your brain. That made your mind wander, but you held them back.

Even as Sukuna’s lips captured yours, as his teeth grazed and nibbled at your lower lip, your hands reached up to tangle themselves in his pink locks. You had to deny, because the Sukuna that was here wasn’t really him. It was a drunk and dissociated version of him, a side that you normally didn’t see.

A side that he probably didn’t like showing.

“Did you let him do this, mh?” Sukuna muttered, pulling away from your mouth. A string of saliva connecting the both of you for a moment as your lungs fought for breath. Chest rising and falling heavily, your hands hold onto Sukuna’s arms, trying to find something to stabilize yourself in this mess of kisses.

“N-No, we just.. Talked about class–”

“Talked? About class? Me? You?”

Sukuna retreated his touch from your face and instead placed them on your thighs. Laying beside you on the couch, keeping you trapped against his chest and making sure to dress the blankets over you.

“Sukuna, seriously, this isn’t funny anymore,” You whimper, covering your face. How could you push this away? You’ve wanted nothing but to be closer to him, haven’t you?

Desired, pleaded. You wanted everything.. But this wasn’t the way.

Feeling Sukuna’s hands wrap around your waist, having his hot breath on your neck and shoulder as he rutted his hips against the fat of your ass. You felt utterly guilty, like trash. Wanting to crawl away from Sukuna and save him the little grace he had, to avoid giving him something to wake up and regret tomorrow.

“Y/n.. look at me.. Look at what you’ve done,” The man in question ordered, hooking your top leg over his elbow. Letting the bulge in his pants grow more and more, his voice becoming ragged and deep as he got harder and harder. “You’re making a mess of me, can’t you tell?”

You nod, wanting to pull away and sleep in your bed. But the desires in you only wanted you to fall deeper. The strings of your heart being plucked as Sukuna’s lips found the sensitive skin of your neck. Marking and sucking, lewd sucking sounds erupting from his lips as he made harsh hickeys form on the skin.

Mewl after moan escaped you, your pussy wet and slick under the confines of your panties and pajama bottoms. Sukuna could tell, releasing your leg from his hold and slowing his hips for a moment until his hand migrated to your front.

Grinding the flat surface of his palm against your clothed cunt, whispering naughty words into your ear that you had to drown out. Even if the wants in your belly wished for Sukuna to be there, to fill up your insides and make a mess. To be closer than he’s ever let you been for the last month or so, you had to stop this.

And you did, with much regret.

“Sukuna, stop,” You whimper, pulling Sukuna’s hand away from your body. Breaths coming out in baited huffs, you sat up. Not taking a moment to let yourself get lured back in, feeling Sukuna’s hand find your waist again as you resisted further.

“Stop what?” He mutters, annoyance in his voice. Laced with an emotion you wished to unhear. “Didn’t you want this too?”

“Not like this.” Cold, respectful. You had to be this way, to give Sukuna another chance. Letting him have his way now in such a drunken state, you wouldn’t be able to recover a good relationship. “If I was like anyone else, you’d be taken advantage of.”

Sukuna’s touch softened, his glazed eyes clearing for a moment as he looked at the back of your head. Seeing a shimmer of something on your cheek, his fingers trembled. He desired to reach up, to brush those tears away. It was against his very nature, his very being.

He didn’t like the idea of being all cuddly and cozy, being soft and vulnerable with someone. The idea of it made his stomach churn and made the urge to vomit impending.

But, with you. Seeing those tears form, for his sake. He felt irritated with himself. He caused it. Him.

“I’m going to bed now,” You say, voice shaken up. “Get some water, sleep.”

You stood from your place on the sofa and walked over to the small hallway, entering your bedroom and letting out a shuddering exhale. A weight was now firmly sitting on your chest. It ached, it hurt, it burned.

Everything that pain felt like was exploding in your chest. Reaching up a hand to try and comfort yourself wasn’t worth the effort either as you slid down the wood of your bedroom door. Curling into a feeble position as the tears fell from your eyes, finally free after holding them the whole time.

What you wished you could do about the man on your couch.

. . .

a/n: y'all i literally have a crippling addiction to crime videos and all that shit it's just so interesting for no reason oml (crying inside) also sorry for the month long pause (i say sorry too much) i was creating new characters and working on ideas for the next few chapters!

Chapter Song Them: — Granite - Sleep Token (Lyrics)

taglist: @mageyboo, @mzladyd , @mysticwonderlandangel, @sukunaspersonalfleshlight, @kawaiipenguin20, @k-indie, @okkotsufav, @cafeinthemoon93, @pulchritxde, @bontenbunny, @deepinballs, @kleebloomed, @fiierytearzx, @wo-ming-bai, @instantgalaxysheep, @watyousayin, @z3r0art, @sukunaobsessed, @lik0, @sukunasfirstlove, @princesstiti14, @nemoyr, @ladywolf44005, @cat-mak20, @coffee-on-a-rainyautumn, @hxlalokidottir, @domainofmarie, @the-moongoddess, @dark-n-dirty-duchess, @agentdedf1sh, @sukunastoy, @lyn-soso, @bao-yu-sarah-morningstar-wang-9, @heyitstacy, @lost-in-tokyo, @marksassybanana, @bozos-r-us , @p-3-4-c-h, @chaoticqueen33, @dxxny-loves-u, @l0tus-in-l0ve , @jiordeci, @opossum0-0, @gumisgirl, @mommasbigd, @heyitstacy, @misslauravillanueva, @fallenlostarchives, @infinitivesearch

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tora-the-cat · 23 days ago

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In the spirit of @aceyanaheim's Tiny Kashi posting, I'd like to offer some more of my own Baby Itty Bitty Kashi headcannons;

-I think minato, in the dark quiet semi-subconcious part of his brain, realizes that Kakashi being so small is Probably Bad. but this is not something he can ever allow himself to actually process, because kakashi is strong and they are at war and the hokage needs him to be a voice of reason (he's 15). So his brain copes with the dissonance by taking ferocious care of the boy to try and make up to kakashi in a way neither of them will ever fully be able to process. they're so loving and adorable and twisted and YOUNG. and people wonder why minato's favoritism is so blatent.

-kakashi reluctantly dragging minato places with a glare because SO MANY people try to refuse service to this pointy kid.

-local six year old assassin had one too many back to back missions without any nap time and has a meltdown. 12 dead 6 injured 3 missing (dead, but not included in the mission perameters so Minato covered it up before Kakahsi could get in trouble or even really realize what he did <3)

-Kakashi looses his first tooth on a mission and Minato flies into a rage as he finishes the fight fast and brutal beause someone hit that toddler in the face and kakashi, who has never lost one of his bones before, is trying not to have a panic attack because he didn't know it could happen. and then the fight finishes and Minato takes a few breaths and blinks and is like 'OH. RIGHT. BABY TEETH. I FORGOT ABOUT THOSE.' and calms down. and kakashi gets pouty cause he thinks minato just called him a baby.

-kakashi having a life long If I Fits I Sits impulse cause like. his little legs get tired. and are too little to have him at eye level most of the time anyway. he would just sit on counters to fill out paper work (because he's a grown shinobi! he doesn't need his sensei holding his hand for everything!) when he was too short to do it standing up.

-@aceyanaheim mentioned it in their post too, but. Minato getting really good at just kind of. Being a human stepstool for kakashi. Like up to and including Kushina coming home to kakashi perched like a bird on Minato's outstretched arm to grab a cup while Minato is just. making dinner with the other hand. BUT ALSO.

-kakahsi talking several years to recognize as an adult that not everyone can be expected to comfortably handle him cause he spent YEARS getting manhandled like a wet cat and/or bag of grapes by all his superiors. The first time he jumps on Minato's shoulders to reach something on a high shelf and minato (just back from a long mission, missed a growth spurt, that kid is a head taller now) STUMBLES, they both like. stare at each other in confused horror

-Minato personally hand tailored Kakashi's chunin vest because they don't standard issue ones in 7 year old size. God only KNOWS what seals are hidden between the seams of that thing lmao

-there's an old konoha rumor about a jonnin that worked with Kakashi a few times when he was a kid and thought it would be funny to pretend to forget/get confused the names of his ninken, because he was 9 and very cute and pouty when he got mad. If anyone knows this man's name they dare not speak it, as he allegedly went missing shortly after insisting that Guruko's name was Gukuro and Kakashi gets frustrated enough to start crying over the overt disrespect to his companions

-(He was not killed, of course. Kakashi would never kill a comrade. the pups just held a bit of a grudge and withheld a bit of their attention in a following fight, and when his injuries landed him in the hospital Namikaze had a few encouraging words about pursuing alternate career options ^-^)

#naruto #kakashi hatake #hatake kakashi #minato namikaze #namikaze minato #Tiny Kashi Heave Now #he is 3 apples tall.....little ankle biter......copykitty......

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nonotnolan · 3 months ago

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No Not Nolan's Year in Review

Once again, it's time for the traditional "year in review" post. Since I've also been collecting prior years in these posts: here's 2021, here's 2022, and here's 2023. This year has more than 12 posts, and that's because I posted a few shorter stories to celebrate the release of my eBook.

I'm not planning to abandon this account anytime soon, but I'd be lying if the thought hadn't occurred to me once or twice. Every year I'm not sure how much longer I'll be doing this, but then every year the support and feedback I receive keeps me going. So if you ever wonder if notes and reblogs help-- yes, they do motivate me to keep going. But more than that, I'd encourage you to message the authors directly. I'm not always the best at carrying a conversation, but it really does mean a lot whenever I hear from you all.

17) Side Effects - 71 notes - January 2024 Okay, well... I like this one. If you've already caused a lot of irreversible damage... why stop now?

16) Labor and Materials - 83 notes - December 2023 Sometimes I can just sort of tell the photos aren't what the average people are wanting, but I like the text too much to toss out the idea. Mass commercialization of body swapping isn't a new idea by any means, but I love exploring all of the low stakes uses and scenarios that would appear if that technology existed.

15) Shapeshifter's Night Out - 111 notes - January 2024 Honestly, this one was mostly just an excuse to pull out a few of the weirder photos I'd come across. I think it holds up well enough, though.

14) Fiverr Warlock: Holiday Magic - 183 notes - December 2023 The thing about the Fiverr Warlock series is that a lot of story ideas work better without the added baggage of the lore and narrator. This one holds up pretty well, and the photos do exactly what I need them to do, so I'm quite fond of it.

13) The Ends Justify The Means - 204 notes - February 2024 See, I thought this one was great, especially for the Valentine's Holiday. Sometimes I have no idea what the average reader wants from me, and this is a prime example of that. No regrets, though. I'm never going to apologize for striking more sentimental than erotic.

12) Jock Cock, Part 3 - 219 notes - July 2024 Speaking of which... I can't be too surprised something this sentimental didn't do better. But I still love it, and I don't feel bad about it. (It does, however, make me less inclined to write sequels to other works. My idea about how the story continues vs how people want me to continue the story are seldom in alignment.)

11) Drawing Straws - 235 notes - January 2024 I love trait swapping, and I wish I could get inspired to use it more often. I have to be satisfied with an idea before I'll set it to the page-- it needs to have some amount of characterization and plot outside of "hot guy does a hot thing and it's hot" for me to be happy with it-- so trait swaps don't happen too often for me.

10) Treat Day - 241 notes - January 2024 This is my least favorite of the 5 promo-stories, so naturally it's the one that received the most notes. Revenge swaps are hit or miss for me, but needlessly cruel swaps seldom appeal to me. I like the photos, I like the ending wordplay, but overall it's not one of my favorites.

9) Swap Broker: Social Climbing - 250 notes - October 2024 If there's any story whose low placement on the list hurts to see, it's this one-- I absolutely love this one. Photos, concept, resolution, all of it. Ahh, well. A few people asked me what happened to the original Aiden, which I don't have much interest in writing, but... his father would have given him a one time chunk of hush money, which he would have burned through in a matter of months, at which point he'd probably be forced to start doing hard work for the first time in his life. It's not a happy outcome, which is why it's not a story I'm particularly interested in telling.

8) Jock Cock, Part 2 - 285 notes - June 2024 Like I mentioned for Part 3-- I don't regret writing it, even if I don't quite understand why it wasn't as well received. I'm not sorry for mixing sincere emotions into your casual smut-- it was intentional, and it will happen again. Also I've been doing it for the past 5 years, so presumably you noticed me doing that at least once before? I'm sure it's not a photo issue. Anyway.

7) Spring Break - 313 notes - March 2024 I love it when both parties can get what they want out of a body swap. I've had quite a few stories involving out of touch rich people, now that I think about it-- but then, every idea has already been done before if you simplify it enough.

6) Bodily Betrayal - 319 notes - December 2024 I'm so thrilled to be working with photo-manip artists for future detachable limb stories. You all may not be bothered by my attempts to create suitable pictures, but I definitely am. I mean, look at these pics-- head/body swap? Headless with head in hand? I wouldn't have been able to do that without a lot of practice and training.

5) Trial Period - 351 notes - November 2024 I don't do much with ghosts, and I'm honestly not planning to change that anytime soon. Still, I love the idea of supernatural entities shopping around to choose their next host.

4) This Happens all the Time, It's Detachable - 376 notes - August 2024 This is another one that I absolutely adore, and as a bonus it's a detachable story that requires no photo-manip work whatsoever. Obviously, I had to go with the King Missile reference in the title.

3) Roommate Rehab - 407 notes - April 2024 I still think my photo-manip work is clunky, but it gets the job done, and that's what matters. The interesting thing about writing more detachable works is that I'm really not familiar with any of the tropes. I'm so used to subverting expectations when I write body swap fiction, but it's a lot harder to subvert tropes that I don't know.

2) Rush Week - 512 notes - September 2024 I'm glad this one did well, because it's definitely a lot more vulnerable than what I normally write. It's equal parts sincere and sexy, and I adore it. The thought of what stays with the body and what stays with the mind is one of my favorite concepts to explore with body swapping. On a different tangent, it was a lot harder than I thought it would be to find good photos for a twink model that pass tumblr guidelines.

1) Jock Cock, Part 1 - 732 notes - May 2024 This story came out of nowhere and completely surpassed all of my expectations. I have no idea what it is about this story that appealed to so many people-- probably obvious, given how few notes the other parts pulled. Is it the photos? The idea of using an athlete's body for sex without him knowing? Unfulfilled sex-with-teacher fantasies? I sure as hell don't know. Whatever the reason, I'm flattered.

Above 500 Notes - All Time

1) Jock Cock, Part 1 - 732 notes - May 2024 2) Soulmate Swap - 704 notes - August 2022 3) Gym Merchandise - 654 notes - September 2022 4) Overbearing - 572 notes - May 2022 5) Finals Week - 568 notes - May 2021 6) Group Project - 566 notes - November 2023 6) Revenge, Reversed - 540 notes - August 2020 7) Rookie Mistake - 530 notes - May 2023 8) Rush Week - 512 notes - September 2024 8) Information Overload - 501 notes - August 2021

Well, Jock Cock Part 1 has officially dethroned... uhh, literally everything else. Finals Week, my first piece to break the 500 notes mark, is quickly dropping out of the top 5. And some of these works received random resurgences several months (or years!) later, so that's always fun to see.

Enough time has passed that I have a sort of note rubric to determine success. Anything below 100 notes, I consider flopped. 100-300 is average, and 300-500 is a success. So to have this many stories above 500? It feels pretty good.

Here's hoping next year will see more additions to this list!

Special Mentions

Reunion - 151 notes - February 2024 Once again, @mergeman and I wrote each other stories for Valentine's Day. I do really love the idea of a support group for people affected by body swaps.

I'm always honored whenever I end up tagged in someone's recommended post, and @sanzaibian 's compliment of "someone who writes really sweet love stories ^^" is no exception.

Also, like I said earlier-- I live for compliments and discussion, both given and received. If you've dropped a line or responded to one of my outreach attempts, I appreciate you. If we've talked in the past but it's been a few months since you or I sent the last message-- I'm too ADHD for friendships that follow the constraints of linear time. If we go months between messages, know that I still appreciate you.

Is it too cheesy to end this with a "thanks for viewers like you" sentiment? Maybe, but I'm doing it anyway. I'd be having these ideas with or without an outlet for sharing them, so I really do appreciate the likes and reblogs. Here's to another year!

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stitchposts · 2 months ago

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Heyo! Had two questions - one a little less relevant to your blog but I thought I'd shoot my shot :D

First off, do you have any experience with visible mending using embroidery techniques? Both my denim jacket and favorite sweater are getting worn out after years of constant wear, and I'm unsure how do deal with some of the holes. My main issue is that the very ends of the sleeves are simply... splitting open? Like the fabric got so thin from whatever stress I apparently put it under, it fecking disintegrated. It seems simple enough, straight line on an edge, but I'm worried about messing it up anyway.

And, speaking of my jacket, with it falling apart a little and me seeing more about battle vests and the like, I've been wondering about trying to embroider it, maybe make some patches... I have a bunch of cotton embroidery floss that was gifted to me years ago, but not only have I not embroidered much since learning it in school more than 15 years ago, this is also literally my only (wearable) jacket. The other two are a 10 year old fake leather coat that is peeling itself and also doesn't fit right, and a windbreaker in terrible colors that, if I remember correctly, is too badly damaged for me to know how to easily fix it. Meaning just going ham on it is a big risk. Do I try to find my first new jacket since 2019 and hope to stumble upon one satisfactory in both price and fit? Do I just pray and start fixing up my denim jacket? What else do I need anyway? I got thread and sewing needles big enough to fit it, but nothing else.

Help.

Thanks! <3

This post got kinda long even for me, sorry. First off, this is all embroidery related imo, this is still about stitching on fabric. A square is always a rectangle but a rectangle is not always a square. There's nuance under the umbrella of 'embroidery' here and this counts.

There does reach a point when clothing can't really be repaired anymore, and after that point, historically became rags, or the patches used to repair other clothing. You'll eventually need a new jacket, but if your choice is to immediately find one now or to repair your jacket and buy time to be able to locate one, it seems a bit obvious to me what the option to follow here is, especially if you like the look of visible mending.

This is the part where I wanted to add a cut, but tumblr is glitching out and refusing to add one. So I guess everyone is just subjected to this now. Sorry, and I'll try to have an actual pretty embroidery picture up for everyone to see this week since my furnace is no longer trying to blow up. So: visible mending is at the core applying mending techniques to clothing, and instead of trying to make them invisible repairs, using the stitches or extra material that reinforces the repair to creative visual interest and turn it into a design feature. The stitching itself is done to reinforce the fragile parts of your garment. Sometimes it can be darning, other times it's adhering new fabric to back/cover the fragile parts. It depends on the repair which to use, or even which method the mender prefers. It's not always clearcut and even then, sometimes we prefer doing the thing we know better more than a brand new technique and we bruteforce it to work. So, dealer's choice on darning or patching here, but I'll get to both of them. My opinion of your situation is that you have nothing to lose with trying to repair your jacket that fits you. It's already falling apart, and it's better to stabilize it before it gets worse before there are giant gaps in the fabric. Clean it gently by hand by letting it soak in a bucket or a tub with some ph neutral detergent - do a couple rinses of letting it soak, until the water runs clear and stops smelling foul. Then lay it flat to try on a towel, don't hang it up to dry as that will put more stress on the fabric, I find the shoulders are usually one of the first places to give out on my stuff but I am very broad shouldered. In my opinion, gaps in the fabric at high stress spots like the cuffs should have new backing fabric added to the weak spots, and then the visible mending can adhere that in place. If you were to make new embroidered cuffs you could just sew them on, and protect the integrity of the base fabric, the same way patches do. But you may prefer other options. For darning there's a few ways to go about it. Darning itself is using new threads to weave through the holes in fabric, and stabilizing it past the delicate thin edges of the base fabric. A dear friend of mine lives and dies by her Speedweve loom these days, and I've seen her work with it. She is one of the top 5 trusted fiber artists in my life so I vouch for these looms being cool as fuck and very functional without having used it myself. I also got her this particular book called Darned Easy, by Sally Simon, that I find interesting that has a lot of patterns in it for darning - I grabbed it at a used book store at some point. I messaged her before I made this point because she follows this blog and would know this part is about her. Hi bud. She's the only one who gets to see the rest of the interior of the book, because it was published in 1981 and I'd rather not use this blog to host scans of books that are that recently published.

You don't need a loom for darning if you know what patterns to follow to darn using your needle, and there are a lot of ways to make darning decorative in the manner you want for visible mending, just use your contrasting threads to stand out on the ground fabric. There's also other books available, a HUGE amount of them because darning's existed for millenia, but this is the resource I physically had on hand that I wanted to use as my example so it's the one you get pics of.

On the other end of repairs, you can applique on patches or reinforcing material, then quilt the material into place, with the quilting being the surface embroidery you are pushing through the layers of fabric in order to adhere them into place. Before anyone replies to this op telling them to fucking look up sashiko, please get off my post. I take umbrage with a lot of embroidery designs being referred to as 'sashiko.' This type of repair on existing clothing genuinely is one of the origins of sashiko as a necessity of life - it was that a pattern was laid down on the clothing or items that needed to be repaired or pieced together, and then quilted into place with running stitches that formed the design, which reinforced the clothing and allowed the fibers to be usable for longer. I really despise the words 'sashiko' 'wabisabi' and 'kintsugi' tossed around casually out of historical context by every fucking art blogger under the sun. Fabric was fucking expensive pre industrial revolution, so preserving clothing mattered a lot. Many different cultures have preferred methods (very often extremely regional even within a country) for mending in a manner that is similar to what we know of as quilting or applique today, but there's a certain obsession with anything Japanese in particular that bloggers love to describe as mysterious and wholesome when it's just a visually distinctive fucking way to repair a hole in a garment and quilt things together to make it warm and functional.

Anyway. My first vest I made, it did eventually disintegrate. I knew it would happen because fucking entropy of the universe and so I managed to find a new vest I could afford at the time when I happened across it, and kept it in a back closet till I was ready to transform it into my dragon vest. I repaired that first vest until almost every seam was paper thin and shredding. I loved it a lot. I wore it daily for years and years. I'm still sad I can't wear it anymore, even though I kept my back patch from it, and I still don't know what the fuck I am going to do with that patch. Eventually fabric is destroyed, after many many years of service and wear. Things die. You can't put resin on your embroidery and make it live forever. But when things finally do perish, you can use the base fabric that is still good to make new patches. You get to design and plan a new battle vest or projects you want to start. If you're not sure yet about how badly you'll be hit emotionally by seeing something you put hundreds of hours into disintegrate into nothingness, then hold off on making this particular jacket your battle jacket holding a lot of purchased patches and such, instead of as a test springboard for learning repairs. This is not me being facetious or jokey. It hits people pretty hard to lose, especially the first time this happens. We're humans that hold bonds with things we like, especially things with that much personal hand investment on it. It won't be a failure on your part if you decide to learn repair and extend the life of this jacket, when this jacket does finally bite the dust. It will happen. The accomplishment here is how much service and use you get out of the jacket past when you thought you'd have to throw it away far earlier than if you had learned to repair it.

#embroidery help #chatter #this is not a joke btw if anyone tries to tell the question asker or ME to look up sashiko I am blocking you and removing the comments #its not the help you think it is

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youremyheaven · 10 months ago

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The Severity, Spirituality and Stoicism of Saturnians ✊🏼🧎‍♀️💁🏼‍♀️

I will be criticizing Saturnian men throughout this post, if you don't like that, stop reading right now <3

Saturn is the planet of karma, justice, discipline, and order. In Claire's video about Saturnian men, she observed that "in Saturnian men you will find an exact duality contained here in breaking rules and doing strange stunts, pranks and having outbursts etc but also paradoxically find themselves submitting to ideologies, cults, political parties, motivational affirmations etc"

I feel like I touched upon this a bit in my first post about Saturn and in this post I'd like to go into different manifestations of this tendency along with some other things I've observed with Saturnian men.

Timothee Chalamet, UBP Moon

Full disclosure, I've never liked him lmao,, I think the hype he gets is undeserved and 90% bc of the fact that there is a dearth of young charismatic actors in Hollywood.

But anywayyys, Timmy Tim first attracted controversy for working with Woody Allen even though he's since expressed regret for it or whatever,, then he received flak for having sex in a pool during the height of the pandemic and manyyyy blinds about him giving women chlamydia 💀💀started making the rounds and he was lowkey exposed for being a whore

Then last year he drew criticism for smoking indoors at a Beyonce concert (where smoking is prohibited) and he's literally talking to Kylie and blowing smoke ??? at the same time?? which is sooo filthy?? who tf does that??

His silence on the Armie Hammer issue and pretty much all issues lol have also been criticized. Everybody thought he'd be some woke liberal activist but he's just been dead quiet and pretty self absorbed the whole time. He loves to lap attention and give absolutely nothing in return to the community.

The thing with Saturn however is that, bad behaviour does not go unpunished. Timmy Tim has been getting A LOT of flak and the total rose tinted obsession people had with him is slowly fading (even tho he still has legions of fans). People are now starting to see his true colors.

But anyway, this is a very minor issue compared to all the other Saturnians I'm going to mention next.

Jeffrey Epstein, UBP Moon, Anuradha Rising

I'm assuming most of you are familiar with sex offender Epstein. He has trafficked thousands of underage girls over the course of decades and to satiate numerous high profile paedophiles.

He committed suicide while in prison. One thing about Saturn is that, if you stray, are immoral, unfair, undisciplined, corrupt, foul, evil etc it WILL punish you. The truth is Saturnians know deep down that what they're doing IS wrong, they're not like Moon dominants who are completely convinced their corrupt evil idea is a "good" one. Saturnians know full well what they're doing and they do it anyway and they suffer its consequences.

Inviting Saturn's wrath upon oneself is basically how these natives find "balance", they feel like they get away with too much and they're constantly pushing their limits to see how far they can go before this wrath comes for them.

Epstein had been doing this for decades without much consequence, working with extremely high profile people including politicians and royalty. Eventually, he was caught and the truth of his immorality was exposed for all to see AND he ended his own life.

Salvador Dali- UBP Moon

Dali was known for being an eccentric and a weirdo and you can say that the way he pushed his boundaries as an artist is a more "positive" manifestation of Saturnian individuals and their need to test limits.

However, Dali was also a pretty messed up guy

Dali admitted on several occasions to having sadomasochistic tendencies. As a child he enjoyed throwing himself down the stairs, explaining that “The pain was insignificant, the pleasure was immense”. Shockingly, he once pushed his childhood friend off of a 15-foot bridge – as his friend lay injured, Dali apparently sat calmly eating cherries.

Pleasure and pain seemed intimately entwined. Dali wanted both. One other childhood incident of note included a wounded bat. It was kept in Dali's washhouse hideaway and stayed there overnight. When Dali returned to it was being devoured by a mass of ants. He impulsively bit into the seething mass delirious with pleasure.

I had briefly mentioned how Saturnians tend to be sadomasochistic in my previous post about Saturn and these examples just confirm it further.

When he is an adolescent a girl falls desperately in love with him. He kisses and caresses her so as to excite her as much as possible, but refuses to go further. He resolves to keep this up for five years (he calls it his ‘five-year plan’), enjoying her humiliation and the sense of power it gives him. He frequently tells her that at the end of the five years he will desert her, and when the time comes he does so.

When he first meets his future wife, Gala, he is greatly tempted to push her off a precipice. He is aware that there is something that she wants him to do to her, and after their first kiss the confession is made:

I threw back Gala's head, pulling it by the hair, and trembling with complete hysteria, I commanded: ‘Now tell me what you want me to do with you! But tell me slowly, looking me in the eye, with the crudest, the most ferociously erotic words that can make both of us feel the greatest shame!’ Then Gala, transforming the last glimmer of her expression of pleasure into the hard light of her own tyranny, answered: ‘I want you to kill me!’

He is somewhat disappointed by this demand, since it is merely what he wanted to do already. He contemplates throwing her off the bell-tower of the Cathedral of Toledo, but refrains from doing so.

George Orwell once described Dali this way:

"The two qualities that Dali unquestionably possesses are a gift for drawing and an atrocious egoism."

Art historian and critic Brian Sewell has also claimed that Dali once asked him to lie naked in front of one of his sculptures and masturbate whilst he watched.

He was also obsessed with Hitler in a perverse way.

While the vast majority of the Surrealist group professed far-Left political leanings, Dali kept curiously quiet during his early career, before being kicked out of the group for being a Nazi sympathiser, which he denied. Dali went on to make artwork addressing the Hitler, including “The Enigma of Hitler” (above) and “Hitler Masturbating”, once detailing that he “often dreamed of Hitler as a woman” and that the Nazi dictator “turned [him] on”.

He was a big old fascist who also supported the Spanish dictator Franco which made Picasso stop talking to him for the rest of his life. Orwell who fought in the Spanish civil war called Dali a "disgusting human being".

At age six, Dalí writes in his autobiography, he pre-meditated a "terrible kick" to his three-year-old sister's head "as though it had been a ball." Not simply childish not-knowing-better, this baseless cruelty continued as Dalí got older.

Here is an article that says more about his shitty behaviour.

Here is another article about his fcked up relationship with his sister

Saturn never fails to punish tho. It will let you fck up but punishment is imminent.

Dali died in his 80s, almost penniless, completely alone, as he had driven all his friends off decades prior, his wife had already passed and he was seriously ill and bedridden. He used button to call his nurse and one day that button short circuited and set him/the bed on fire. He suffered second and third degree burns all over his body. He lived for another four years in severe pain before passing away.

Just because you go a whole lifetime avoiding punishment, does not mean it isn't coming. People who suffer in old age have it the worst because you suffer 100x more

Dali was a Saturn defying narcissistic, violent, abusive person and guess what Saturn did? It saved it all up for the very end and left him without any kind of mercy. Friendless, penniless, bedridden, in excruciating pain, FOR YEARS until he finally died.

Saturn punishes you/is a harsh teacher because it wants you to uphold the Saturnian qualities of virtue, justice, fairness, doing your duty etc, you may never see the rewards of your good actions, so it may feel like a waste of time to keep being so principled but if you decide to just do whatever and disobey, you best believe Saturn will come through with that wrath. You have to keep being virtuous and morally upright even if you don't see yourself being "rewarded" for it. No one may recognise your goodness but keep being good anyway.

Alexander Graham Bell, Venus in UBP in 2h, Saturn in Shatabhisha in 1h

He is the guy who invented the telephone but he was also a very controversial deaf educator in his time.

Bell's father was a teacher of the deaf. His method of teaching the deaf was coined "Visible Speech." Bell's mother was deaf/hearing impaired and he would often speak to her by placing his mouth close to her forehead, believing the vibrations from his voice would help her distinguish speech more clearly.

Although he married a deaf woman, a former speech pupil, Mabel Hubbard, Bell strongly opposed intermarriage among congenitally deaf people. Bell feared "contamination" of the human race by the propagation of deaf people even though most deaf people statistically are born to hearing parents.

Bell applied his study of eugenics to his goal of preventing the creation of a deaf race and presented his paper Memoir Upon the Formation of a Deaf Variety of the Human Race to the National Academy of Sciences in 1883.4

Bell stated, "Those who believe as I do, that the production of a defective race of human beings would be a great calamity to the world, will examine carefully the causes that will lead to the intermarriage of the deaf with the object of applying a remedy."

In this paper, he proposed to reduce the number of the deaf by discouraging deaf-mute to deaf-mute marriages, advocating speech reading and articulation training for an oral-only method of education, removing the use of deaf teachers and sign language from the classroom.

Suggestions were made to enact legislation to prevent the intermarriage of deaf-mute people or forbidding marriage between families that have more than one deaf-mute member. His preventative strategies for deaf marriage included removing barriers to communication and interaction with the hearing world.

I feel like Saturnians often have a tendency to subconsciously make things harder for themselves and for others. Getting things easy is not Saturn's style. And this can manifest in sooooo many different ways. Bell grew up with a father who taught deaf people/children, his mother was deaf, he married a deaf woman YET he believed that they did not deserve to have separate schools that used communication tools specifically designed for them to make their lives easier. He spent his entire life working with deaf people but still somehow did not want things to be easier for them???

Steve Jobs, UBP moon

He had a pretty stellar reputation for being a major asshole. He was an extremely difficult person to work with and often terrorised his employees and was a toxic vile asshole to the women he dated.

Jobs was given up for adoption by his parents and later in life, he abandoned his girlfriend and baby after he got her pregnant.

His daughter Lisa later said that her mother felt uncomfortable leaving her with Steve alone after an incident in which he questioned and teased the then-nine-year-old Brennan-Jobs about her sexual attractions and proclivities.

Once, as Jobs groped his wife and pretended to be having sex with her, he demanded that Lisa stay in the room, calling it a "family moment."

It is well known that Steve Jobs was really good at conceptualizing things and coming up with ideas (touch screen phones, macbooks, iMacs etc) but he lacked the technical expertise to build anything. His partner, Steve Wozniak was the actual brains behind all of the creations to put it simply.

Early in his career, Jobs worked for the game developing company Atari who promised him a bonus of $5000 for developing a game called Breakout. Jobs did not have the know-how to execute this, so he made his friend Wozniak who worked at a different company stay up all night for 4 nights to design this whole ass game. He gave him $350 for it and told him he was giving him half of what the company paid him. Wozniak only found out much later that Steve basically stole his ideas, used him AND gave him a paltry sum as compensation.

Before Apple went public, Jobs refused to give any major shares to the many many developers and engineers who played a crucial role in pioneering the company. Wozniak gave those employees HIS shares so that they could make a profit when the company went public.

I'm not going to detail all the ways he tormented his employees and staff. You can google it.

Eventually, Saturn's karma started kicking in and Jobs was fired from the company he founded and for 10 years, he had to stay away from Apple. This experience humbled him a bit.

Apple really suffered in his absence and they brough him back in 1997 and we all know the kind of groundbreaking work he did in the next decade there. (hint: iphones, ipods etc)

In 2011, he found out he had terminal pancreatic cancer and resigned from his position and died 6 weeks later.

He refused to get surgery and chemo and chose "alternate treatments" until his disease had progressed so far that, there was no saving him.

He would eat a single thing and only that for weeks. Like apples. He'd eat only apples for three weeks. He was convinced that made him superior to everyone else and that it made him have no body odour, so he never showered either. This made it really hard for others to be around him.

Now back to his daughter, he was incredibly abusive to Lisa. She said she was forced to move home over 13 times before age seven as her mother struggled to pay the bills through a series of cleaning positions, while Jobs, then already a multi-millionaire, refused to help.

During one visit she innocently asked if she could be given his Porsche after learning the flashy vehicle had a scratch and needed to be replaced. His scowling response shocked Lisa, then aged seven.

“‘Absolutely not,’ he said in such a sour, biting way that I knew I’d made a mistake,” she remembers. “I understood that perhaps it wasn't true, the myth of the scratch: maybe he didn’t buy new ones. By that time I knew he was not generous with money, or food, or words; the idea of the Porsches had seemed like one glorious exception. I wished I could take it back. We pulled up to the house and he turned off the engine. Before I made a move to get out he turned to face me.

“‘You’re not getting anything,’” he said. “‘You understand? Nothing. You’re getting nothing.’ Did he mean about the car, something else, bigger? I didn’t know. His voice hurt—sharp, in my chest.” (an excerpt from her memoir 'Small Fry')

Saturn may delay punishment but it will punish and whether or not you learn from it, is up to you. Some individuals are not very malleable and they suffer the most. They make the same mistake over and over again and never learn. Steve died of any entirely preventable disease but he refused treatment. He was in excruciating pain towards his end and was completely bedridden. He expressed regret about not having gotten treatment sooner but :/

It's really scary how your karma catches up with you. Its the worst when it comes for you and leaves you with no time to remedy anything, so you just suffer agony knowing there is nothing you can do.

Woody Allen- Anuradha stellium (Sun, Mercury & Jupiter)

He molested his step daughter Dylan Farrow and is currently married to his former step daughter from the same marriage Soon Yi.

There has been a lot of misinformation regarding him molesting Dylan as a child even though the fact that he is literally married to one of his stepdaughters should be reason enough to suspect him

Allen had been in therapy for alleged inappropriate behavior toward Dylan with a child psychologist before the abuse allegation was presented to the authorities or made public. Mia Farrow had instructed her babysitters that Allen was never to be left alone with Dylan.

Allen refused to take a polygraph administered by the Connecticut state police. Instead, he took one from someone hired by his legal team. The Connecticut state police refused to accept the test as evidence. The state attorney, Frank Maco, says that Mia was never asked to take a lie-detector test during the investigation.

(Here is a link to the full article)

But again, Saturn's karmic lessons come through. Numerous actors have refused to work with Allen, he has been publicly condemned, lost all his reputation during #MeToo Actors such as Greta Gerwig, Colin Firth, and Mira Sorvino have recently apologized for accepting roles in Allen’s films, while many of his most avid fans have turned against him.

Johnny Cash, Rahu in UBP in 1h

Johnny was a drug addict and very abusive to his first wife. He creepily pursued June Carter while he was still married and despite her rejecting him MANY times, he did not give up. She was in a financially unfortunate position and he gave her the opportunity of touring with him, which she had to take up to make ends meet and finally in front of a live audience, he proposes marriage to her and basically forces her to say yes.

They remained married for 50 years and died within a year of each other so idk if they had a happy marriage or a troubled one but the Saturnian persistence was coming thru.

Cash's whole life is super Saturnian. His career came to a standstill in the 70s after a stellar decade long run in the 1960s, all throughout which he was abusing drugs.

In the early 1980s, Cash had eye surgery, broke several ribs, and damaged a kneecap, all on separate occasions, and again became addicted to pills. He was hospitalized in 1983 with internal bleeding that almost killed him. Upon regaining strength, he checked into the Betty Ford Clinic and remained clean until his death.

In 1994, after a looooong period of zero hits and chart play. He collabed with Rick Rubin (the GOAT) and then released a number of successful albums until he passed away in 2003 and from 1997 onwards he had been struggling with autonomic neuropathy and was frequently hospitalized.

Its interesting to me how between 1954 to 1973, Cash was undergoing his Saturn mahadasha and this period brought him enormous success and also made him completely addicted to substances. In 1965, he started a forest fire that burned off 500 acres of forest land and killed 49 of the refuge's 53 endangered condors. When confronted about it, he said "I don't care about your damn yellow buzzards".

From 1973-1990, he was undergoing his Mercury dasha, and this was a very low period in his career as he suffered major setbacks.

As he's sobering up at the Carter's family ranch, he's walking along a path. One of their ostriches is standing in the path. Well Cash thinks to himself "Hell if I'm moving" and tries to move it, so the bird starts trying to headbutt/peck at him, so he swings a punch at the bird, it responds by splitting his goddamn abdomen open with it's talon, from top to bottom. (he said the only thing that stopped the talon was it got stuck on his leather belt and couldn't go further). So he's laying on the ground, and grabs a branch (or an old fence post, can't remember) and starts beating it from the ground until it runs away.

Its interesting how his major highs in life were during his Saturn MD (He has Saturn in Uttarashada in 11h) and his biggest blows came during his Mercury MD (he does have Mercury in Shatabhisha in 12h 😬).

Mercury is not an inherently difficult dasha the way Saturn is. But what we sow, we shall reap. Saturn gives you 19 years to get your shit together and if you don't really learn during this period, it gets on your ass long after that. Jennie from Blackpink ended her Saturn MD in 2019 and some of her career's biggest moments have come since then but so have the controversies (she's currently in her Mercury MD) and it's as though the lingering after effects of the Saturn dasha really dictates how we experience our Mercury dasha.

Winston Churchill, Anuradha Sun

In 1943 in Bengal, over 3 million people died due to starvation and Churchill was directly responsible for this.

Churchill deliberately ordered the diversion of food from starving Indian civilians to well-supplied British soldiers and even to top up European stockpiles, meant for yet-to-be-liberated Greeks and Yugoslavs (all of this happened during WW2 for context)

He basically said, this is none of my business. Even though millions of Indian soldiers fought for the British during WW2 and were British subjects until India gained independence in 1947. Also btw India was the biggest contributor to the Empire's GDP. they looted and plundered us and left us to starve, basically.

In the book, Churchill’s Secret War: The British Empire and the Ravaging of India during World War II, written by Madhusree Mukerjee, Churchill was quoted as blaming the famine on the fact Indians were “breeding like rabbits”, and asking how, if the shortages were so bad, Mahatma Gandhi was still alive. 😡🤬😠he was a racist imperialist pig to say the least.

Some people are Churchill defenders and genuinely believe that the Bengal famine was a necessary sacrifice to win the war, and that those who critiqued him were unfair and had little insight about WWII. Aka: the colonized are expendable in a war between essentially imperialist, genocidal and fascist states. And they can kiss my ass.

To Indians, Churchill is a Hitler-like figure and rightfully so.

"I do not agree that the dog in a manger has the final right to the manger even though he may have lain there for a very long time. I do not admit that right. I do not admit for instance, that a great wrong has been done to the Red Indians of America or the black people of Australia. I do not admit that a wrong has been done to these people by the fact that a stronger race, a higher-grade race, a more worldly wise race to put it that way, has come in and taken their place."

Winston Churchill to Peel commission in 1937.

Here is a thread that elaborates the many fcked up things he did.

When I talk about how cruel, brutal and callous Saturnian men can be, this is what I mean. Saturn restricts, limits and binds. This can easily mean Saturnians subject themselves and others to unnecessary rules, restrictions and limits.

Steve Jobs thought he was superior to others bc he only ate one type of food for weeks and months. Just because someone has discipline, does not automatically mean its good to have it. Free range parents can suck because they dont protect you or shelter you but disciplinarian parents also suck. Both Jupiter and Saturn struggle to learn "balance".

An unevolved Saturnian will be stingy af, very partial, biased and ill mannered. They act like cave men.

Churchill struggled with his mental health his whole life. He referred to it his “black dog:” fits of melancholia that followed Churchill throughout his life and often left him bedridden, suicidal and unshakably depressed for months at a time. It may sound cruel to say poor mental health is "karma" for his actions. (He also suffered 7 strokes and the final one, killed him). But the ways in which we are punished are often not materially obvious??? We may see terrible people thrive but often they are really suffering on the inside. Saturn often punishes by depriving you of peace of mind :/

Thomas Alva Edison, Anuradha Rising

In 1884, Nikola Tesla moved to New York City to meet Edison, who was famous for his low-voltage, direct-current electricity. Tesla believed the higher-voltage alternating current electricity was superior and suggested creating an AC-powered motor, but Edison claimed it was too dangerous. Instead, Edison promised the recent immigrant $50,000 (over $1 million today) if he could improve upon his DC generators, or “dynamos.”

After toiling for several months and making significant advances, he returned for his reward, only for Edison to say, “When you become a full-fledged American, you will appreciate an American joke.” Tesla quit—but the bullying didn’t stop there.

George Westinghouse had purchased Tesla’s patents and became the pioneering force behind AC power and its widespread implementation. Edison, who was ideologically and financially invested in his own DC power, began a publicity campaign against AC power. The campaign was ruthless; he wanted to prove that the high voltage of AC power was too dangerous for public use, so he and his cohorts began publicly electrocuting animals—stray dogs and cats, cattle and horses, and even, notoriously, “Topsy” the elephant. (you can hate me for pointing out how unevolved Saturnians abuse animals all you want but it will not stop it from being true<333)

The story gets worse. Edison was asked whether electrocution was a humane method of execution. In reply, he claimed that with Westinghouse’s AC power, it was indeed a humane and reliable execution. Westinghouse of course tried to prevent such an association, but Harold Brown, one of Edison’s employees, was hired by the state of New York to build the first electric chair. Obviously, he used AC power.

The execution—the first use of the electric chair—took place on August 6, 1890. AC power proved neither reliable nor humane. The first, 17-second-long charge failed to kill the man, an alleged axe murderer; after waiting for the generator to recharge and amping up the voltage, the next charge at last brought an end to the horrible, 8-minute long ordeal. Westinghouse, disgusted, reportedly said, “They would have done better with an axe.”

For his last two years, a series of ailments caused his health to decline even more until he lapsed into a coma and died at the age of 84.

Bo Burnham, Venus/Jupiter/Ketu in Pushya and Anuradha Rising

He does have a reputation for being a dick but I wanted to mention him because I think his sense of humour is VERY Saturnian. He has this tendency to humble his audience and its super Saturncoded to me. Like his whole shtick is serving you with a reality check in a slightly condescending way which is extremely Saturnian.

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He often makes "ironically" misogynistic jokes or whatever and its laced with that Saturnian bitterness except he's slightly self aware I guess.

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Aziz Ansari, Venus & Mars in UBP and Jupiter in Anuradha

Tbh other than the fact that his stand up comedy routines are hella lame, I dont really have much dirt on him.

However, he did sexually assault a woman in 2018 and nobody has heard much from him since tbh. I guess its an example of "instant karma".

Mads Mikkelsen, Anuradha Sun conjunct Ketu

Mads aka the man who made a career out of playing the bad guy

This isn't about Mads but about his most well known role, playing Hannibal Lecter.

Hannibal imo is very very Saturncoded

He is highly intelligent and cultured, with refined tastes and impeccable manners. He is deeply offended by rudeness, and often kills people who exhibit bad manners; according to the novel Hannibal, he "prefers to eat the rude". Hopkins described Lecter as the "Robin Hood of killers", who kills "the terminally rude".

Saturnians are either extremely refined or very unkempt. There is no in-between. You can always tell when someone has an imbalanced Saturn influence based on how disorderly, messy and chaotic they are.

In the novel Red Dragon, the protagonist, Will Graham, says that psychologists refer to Lecter as a sociopath "because they don't know what else to call him". Graham says "he has no remorse or guilt at all", and tortured animals as a child, (👀) but he does not exhibit any of the other criteria traditionally associated with sociopathy. Asked how he himself would describe Lecter, Graham responded, "he's a monster. I think of him as one of those pitiful things that are born in hospitals from time to time. They feed it, and keep it warm, but they don't put it on the machines and it dies. Lecter is the same way in his head, but he looks normal and nobody could tell."

Hannibal embodies the disciplined, orderly conduct of an evolved Saturnian along with the cruelty and harshness of it.

Charlie Puth, Anuradha Sun & Mars

half of this guy's discography is about how he hates women from LA. He literally has one song called "Nothing But Trouble (Instagram Models)" and it's just about how instagram models make problems. He has another song called "L.A. Girls" about how women in LA are fungible. It's like yeah maybe instagram models do suck but no one made you date them???

These are lyrics from the song LA Girls:

"There was Nikki, Nicole, Tiffany, and Heather But there's only room for you in my world But you say that I changed like the east coast weather How the hell did I get caught up? Messin' with these LA girls"

When I tell you the Madonna-Whore complex runs DEEP with Saturnian men. They will fool around with you and think of YOU as "cheap" for doing so and fall for the girl who never gives it up. The double standards of Saturnians are 🤮🤢

They will get frisky and frivolous with you and judge you for it :/

Woody Harrelson, Pushya Sun, Anuradha Moon

When I think of unkempt Saturnians, I think Woody Harrelson lmao

While filming in London in 2002, Harrelson found himself at a bar when two women approached him. According to the actor, the women asked if he wanted to "take a walk on the wild side." To which Harrelson replied, "I guess I do." A third woman joined in the fun, and the foursome returned to Harrelson's accommodations and enjoyed what the outlet described as "whatever-happened-next." Unfortunately for the Rampart star, "a paparazzo was able to snap a photo that soon hit the tabloids." The worst part — his then-girlfriend and future-wife Laura Louie saw these photos in the press. This "led to a good bit of groveling on Harrelson's part," and the couple worked past the incident.

I think I have noticed about manyyyy Saturnian men is that they often have enabler wives who put up with their shit + encourage it. Steve Jobs' wife, Laurene Powell was like that. Steve was such a perfectionist that he did not even buy furniture for their house and yk what?? she was okay with that lol and they remained married until his death even though literally everybody who has ever known him describes him as an asshole.

Woody Allen's still married to Soon Yi who is also entirely defensive about him. Same goes for Harrelson's wife I guess. How on earth does someone work past a foursome??? wtf

"I used to go to bars and fight the guys I thought were bullies. I've got scars everywhere," he revealed to The Hollywood Reporter. His fighting ways continued even after becoming a famous actor. Like when he once punched a reporter and claimed he thought the photographer was a zombie.

Saturnians never beating the abusive rumours 😩

On a different note, I've noticed how many Saturnian musicians make sad boy music with a ✨spiritual essence ✨

Sufjan Stevens is a UBP Moon

This is from a 2015 interview:

"I still describe myself as a Christian, and my love of God and my relationship with God is fundamental, but its manifestations in my life and the practices of it are constantly changing. I find incredible freedom in my faith. Yes, the kingdom of Christianity and the Church has been one of the most destructive forces in history, and there are levels of bastardization of religious beliefs. But the unique thing about Christianity is that it is so amorphous and not reductive to culture or place or anything. It's extremely malleable."

Tamino, UBP Moon

He said in an interview:

"We like to look at religious texts from all over the world, [and] they always share a lot of similarities. That's not because they necessarily influenced each other, it's more that our inherent experience as humans comes out through storytelling. It's awesome. So that's something that's really interesting: the story that we need to tell. And the stories that we tell will always survive longest. I think it sort of gives them a higher truth, a metaphysical truth, which makes religion quite beautiful to me. You don't have to necessarily believe in every little thing that's described in a book. I'm not a practicing believer—not in the classical sense. But I do have faith. I think a lot of people have faith without realizing [it]. Even waking up and starting your day, we all have like these little acts of fate throughout our lives without even noticing."

Hozier- Anuradha Moon

Faith is a big theme in their work and their lives and I feel like they are some evolved Saturnian men who have embraced the stoic spirituality of Saturn and poured it into their creativity.

In one interview, Hozier described Quakerism as a doctrine which taught him during childhood “to look for the God in each person” and “the spark of the divine that’s in every individual.” In particular, Hozier seeks this spark in his lover.

Its interesting to me how all 3 of them use religious metaphors often to speak of love because the ultimate form of love is devotion and Saturnians who have transcended the grips of limitations imposed by Saturn understand this more than anybody. They know what its like to love like their life depends on it.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger, Pushya Sun

Many Saturnians love to talk about working hard and kicking ass. Arnold is one of them, although I will say his preachiness comes from his Punarvasu stellium lmao

Arnold is a good example of a man who has worked very very hard and abided by every Saturnian principle to climb the ladder to the top. Yet he cheated on his wife with his housekeeper. He however did not deny paternity of the son he fathered with her. He has also expressed his regret about cheating and how he lost his marriage.

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Kim Kardashian, UBP Moon

She came under fire for her comments about "get your ass up and do the work" but honestly it's just Saturnian tough love

Kim is a good example of someone who has turned every single setback into a career opportunity. She is a true hustler. Obviously she's extremely privileged yada yada yada but she was Paris Hilton's assistant at one point and was at the bottom of the ladder. In 20 years she's built a fortune for herself and her family. Like, if it were Kourtney in Kim's place 🤡they wouldn't be where they are rn. Kim is a worker and its hard to deny that.

Rose- UBP Moon

In her interview with Vogue Australia, she said:

“I ended up fighting for my life, training for my life. Because I couldn’t accept the fact that I’d just be cut and sent back, so I had no time to slack off. I remember I took every minute and every second to work on my craft so that I [could] make it,”

“When I got [to Korea], I was like, ‘This is quite intense,’” she said of the early period of training. “I notice[d] that there [were] 12 other girls who had been training day and night for about five years. And I had just gotten there.” She feared that if she didn’t catch up to the other she would be cut and sent back to Australia, where she’d already told her school friends that she was dropping out to work on her music. "

“I [had] left and I didn’t want to fly back [to Australia] without having achieved anything,” she said of her worry at the time. “And I think it was a good drive. Just the fact that I had flown all the way from Australia gave me more strength [and] determination to strive.”

Hardworking Saturnians ✊🏼🙏🏼🧎‍♀️making the most of that Saturnian determination and reaping its rewards OOF

#vedic astro notes #sidereal astrology #astrology observations #astrology notes #nakshatras #vedic astrology #astro notes #astrology #astro observations #astroblr #saturn #anuradha #uttarabhadrapada #pushya #Youtube

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midwesternvibes · 11 months ago

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Alright people, it's time for more Villain Leo lore!!!

Today we are diving into Leo and Splinter's relationship!!!

Read under the cut because this got so LONG, these two have so many issues and there was so much to work with.

Alright, so it's no secret that Leo and Splinter have a....less than ideal relationship. You can see throughout all of TMNT history that Leo looks up to Splinter an insane amount, and Rise Leo is no different.

This boy looked up to Lou Jitsu his whole life, and we can often see him doing the same movements and catchphrases that Lou did. Granted, all the boys do, but Leo seems particularly attached to Lou

And we've all seen the smile comparisons, it's insane how similar his grandiose smile is to Lou Jistu's.

The point is, Leo really looks up to his dad, and we can see this in his actions and attitudes towards not only Lou Jitsu, but also Splinter in canon.

"Trust me pops!"

I mean, just look at how happy he is to be there with his dad, in his element. This episode is Leo at his peak, outsmarting everyone and predicting his family's moments to the letter.

Also, idk about you, but that smile seems incredibly genuine. That's not even a Lou Jitsu smile, that's a 100% Hamato Leonardo smile at his dad whom he looks up to so much.

And what does Splinter say to his son's ask for trust?

"I knew I should have brought Purple!"

....what.

That is his SON. His 14, maybe 15 year old son, who is asking for his father to trust him.

....and he responds by saying that he wishes he had brought his more intelligent twin brother instead, who he has already shown an implied favoritism towards in the past

"And I thought Purple was the funny one!"

"Told you guys I was the funniest."

This is a pretty harmless comment tbh, but Leo takes so much pride in his quips, one-liners and puns that this had to sting a little bit.

There's such a huge amount of content to sift through when it comes to these two, and that fact actually saddens me because I had SO MUCH to pick from when making this post, but here's some highlights.

One thing that I noticed while watching a Splinter and Leo compilation is that during the memory episode, Leo is the only one Splinter directly hits

NONE of the other three were directly hit like this is any point in the episode and yeah, this could totally be played off as a bit or just a case of wrong place, wrong time, but we'll get to my theory later, right now I'm just laying out the facts.

An important detail I'd like to point out here too is Leo's face after the first hit.

Guys, he looks HURT. Donnie and Raph are looking at him, checking that he's okay, but he is looking right past them at the shadow Splinter, who is dressed and looks just like his childhood idol, who just hit him specifically right in the face.

Not only his idol even. No, the most pure and unfiltered representation of his father, the man who's raised him his whole life.

And he just got hit in the face.

Ouch. For a kid as emotive as Leo (who I honestly think feels his emotions even more intensely than Mikey when he lets them out), this is a devastating blow. Literally.

Then, let's talk about this scene, you all knew it was coming.

"Can someone tell my son I am NOT TALKING TO HIM!!"

"You got this pops! I love you!"

Guys this scene hurts my heart. Like, once again, he can't be older than 15 at this point. Yeah he's being a badass stratigiser this whole episode, but you cannot convince me that he wasn't at least a little excited to see his dad, his HERO in action, and wearing a matching outfit as well, and show his dad, his idol and hero, exactly what he's capable of. Leo absolutely worships the ground Splinter walks on and what does his father have to say to his son"s encouragement??

"NO!"

GAHHHH like yes, Leo was kinda being a little shit this whole episode and could have clued his dad in on the plan a little bit, but honestly that could have ruined everything if Splinter had any holdbacks.

Not to mention, this is the only Leo and Splinter episode we get. Donnie gets the derby, Mikey gets the Hidden City bonding, even Raph gets the ending of the memory episode, and in each, they have a genuine moment of bonding with Splinter.

Splinter never ONCE apologized for his actions in this episode. Not once. RAPH is the one who tells Leo in this episode later on that he trusts Leo, something he's been begging Splinter for the entire time.

All of a sudden, this moment doesn't seem so out of place.....

"I love you soooo much!" "No, no you don't, I'm your least favorite!!"

This line could totally just be a throwaway line, but as it was pointed out to me by the wonderful @nardos-primetime, the alarms that the boys did for Google home have a REALLY upsetting one for Leo

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Go to about 1:57 and listen to that one and just......cry.

NOW that line in "Rat Flu" makes a LOT more sense. Splinter LAUGHED at Leo when he asked if he was his favorite. LAUGHED at him.

But wait, you may ask. What about the ending? Splinter made Leo the leader, obviously he trusts him!

....yeah, just take a look at their faces here.

Donnie and Mikey are basically horrified beyond belief and in complete shock

Raph is.....blue screening, honestly

And Leo looks completely taken aback and shocked and scared and honestly, I don't blame him. There is absolutely NO precedence for Splinter to do this. He has proved time and time again that he does NOT trust Leo, he never ONCE tells Leo that he trusts him even though he asks for that trust during the entirety of "Unhappy Returns". NONE of them look happy about this new change.

You could see this as Splinter finally giving Leo a chance, but I see this a lot more as one of the more popular Fandom interpretations of Splinter wanting to give Raph a break. Raph had a huge breakdown during the finale and I don't think it's unreasonable for Splinter to have heard of that and decide that his beloved eldest needed a chance to recover.

Who better to pass this burden on to than his least favorite son!

We also see in the movie that this shift in power dynamics really doesn't do much other than create a lot of interpersonal conflict between Leo and Raph, something Splinter does absolutely nothing to help out with, other than telling them to quiet down.

Now that we have all of our evidence (and I put more work into getting evidence for this than for the English project I'm supposed to be doing right now can I just cite this as a source for me being capable of gathering evidence???) we can actually get into the analysis of how this all would affect him.

First of all, I mentioned that I would discuss the repercussions of the memory episode. This analysis is more for Splinter, but I feel like it's still important. We've seen time and time again that Leo is very similar to how Splinter was as a young teen in both looks and attitude. If Splinter truly resents his younger self and how he acted, it would make a lot of sense for him to also subconsciously resent his son who acts a lot like himself at that age. This would cause him to lash out at Leo in his subconscious, the one place where his true thoughts and feelings are on full display.

I just wanna point out his face again here, Leo looks so hurt. He definitely already knows that he's not anywhere near Splinter's favorites at this point, but it still hurts him to see that get confirmed.

This brings me to my next point of Leo's psyche. He is a very confident, witty, smart teenager, but he's still just that. A teenager. He's anxious, insecure, and very self-reliant. He looks to others for praise often and rarely receives it, usually having to hype himself up. His relationship with Splinter only emphasizes these qualities about him and makes Leo look so much worse in Splinter's eyes because his son is just a modern-day representation of his past self.

Now let's put this into perspective of Leo's decent into villainy.

If Leo is hurting and under the impression that his brothers are maybe starting to dislike him, even hate him, adding Splinter on to this can only make it worse.

Maybe he goes to his dad for tips on how to lead when he feels like he can't talk to Raph anymore and needs his father's advice.

Maybe he sets up a dinner for him and Splinter to just chat and bond instead of sitting at the dinner table with another one of Mikey's meals that he feels too sick with anxiety from his little brother's disappointed looks to eat.

Maybe he goes to his father crying from another nightmare after not feeling welcomed in Donnie's lab anymore after they fought for an hour the day before.

And maybe, just maybe, Splinter waves him off every time.

Forgets.

Laughs at him.

I mean, this is a kid who relys on others to build him up, to praise him and love him because after all....

Who is he without his family?

Maybe it's time to find out.

First // Previous // Next

Link to an AMAZING ficlet by the FANTASTIC @beetleviolet

#rottmnt #rottmnt leo #rise of the tmnt #leonardo #tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #villain leo au #master splinter #Splinter #leonardo hamato #hamato yoshi #lou jitsu #Rise analysis #rise of tmnt #rise tmnt #rise leo #teenage mutant ninja turtles

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actuallysaiyan · 4 months ago

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Christmas Time Is Here(Satoru Gojo x Fem!Reader X Suguru Geto)

warnings: smut, unprotected sex, d/s dynamics, oral sex, threesomes, some angst, Christmas imagery, lots of just lewd content word count: 5k! pairings: Satoru Gojo x Fem!Reader x Suguru Geto summary: you find yourself between this duo, and while you feel sad to be left alone for the holiday break, they surprise you with something to make you feel so special... a/n: this was written for @cherryblossombankai for christmas about two years ago! Figured I'd post it here finally, it's very spicy! dividers by @adornedwithlight

taglist: @cherryblossombankai, @an-ever-angry-bi, @namikyento, @adharadotcom, @heyitsd1yaa,

@darkstarlight82, @melisuh123, @galactict3a, @erebus-et-eigengrau, @aomi04

, @isabelzoldyck, @cinnamon-girl-writes, @felixmr, @typicalemo,

@benkeibear, @urfavmars24, @animediplomat, @menag-etroix,

@shycoconutt,, @emmaiscool22, @ambiguouslady42, @mx-saph,

@thissaintjessi, @kiiwiipie, @thestarsystemsworld, @aervera

21 days until Christmas…

You were excited to say the least. The days seemed to drag on and you were doing your best to work hard. But your newest problem all started when you had mentioned something under your breath in front of Satoru and Suguru. It was really just a little thing you had said without much thought. But it got both of their attention so quickly. Satoru smirked at you, and he leaned a little closer so he could maybe even just get a whiff of your scent.

“What was that, sweetheart?”

Your cheeks burned at the implication of what just happened. You hadn’t realized what you just said. Suguru does his best not to seem interested, but he won’t deny the throbbing in his pants. Oh was he ever pent up, and your little comment made it worse. He hated the fact that Satoru knew about your little problem. It should be him that takes care of your needs, not the beautiful white-haired man that seems to interject any time he can.

“I-it was nothing, ‘toru. I didn’t really say anything.”

Satoru smirked even wider and he let his hand brush some hair out of your face. Suguru frowns when he watches his rival lean in and kiss you on the lips. It wasn’t beyond Satoru to make you flustered like this, and the man would often flirt with you and kiss you. But Suguru thought they had an agreement. Neither of them would flirt with you in front of the other.

“So you didn’t say you were in the middle of a dry spell and needed to get fucked?”

Your breath hitched in your throat. How could you explain your way out of this one? You had indeed said something to that effect. Your cheeks burned even more, and you just wanted to be swallowed up by the ground right now. If it weren’t for the fact that Suguru was here, you might have given in to Satoru’s soft kisses. You broke away from his grasp to look at the darker haired man, and he frowns and looks away from the two of you. Though someone who usually doesn’t show his emotions, he was clearly angry by his rival’s show of affection.

“What’s the matter? Can’t handle our girl?”

Suguru grunted, “She’s not our girl.”

You looked down at your hands, unsure of how to even feel about his rude words. You worked so hard to make sure you were patient with him, and that you showed him so much affection. But to hear the cruel way he thought of you, it was proving to be too much. You get up from your seat and you struggle to keep the tears back. With a sniffle, you looked back at both men.

“Maybe you two should learn not to play with someone’s feelings.”

15 days until Christmas…

You had considered leaving to go see your family for Christmas, but it’s been years since you were invited. It ate you up inside., having to stay at the school for the holiday. Usually you’d head out with some friends to stay away from the school for the few weeks you had off. But all of them seemed to be paring off with their own lovers or other friends they hadn’t seen in a long time. You really found yourself without plans or without a place to go.

Your trunk sat unpacked at the foot of the bed. Just a week prior, you had dug it out with the intention of filling it with colorful outfits to wear while on vacation. But now it was just a sad reminder that you’d be spending your days here all alone and without any company. When you weren’t out on missions or learning new skills this week, you were mostly in your room.

Curled up under blankets, you watched all kinds of Christmas movies. The kind that mostly made you miss your family. You longed for the happy and wacky folly that they went through with your own kind. You wished you had a mother that would actually invite you over for the holidays and bake you cookies and make the traditional dinner.

But you know for a fact that you’ll be alone for the vacation.

And this doesn’t sit right with neither Satoru nor Suguru. The two of them had been quite at odds with one another after the conflict that left you unsocial and locked away in your room. When the news is told to them that you’ll be staying at the school for the duration of the vacation, both of them opt out on any plans they may have had.

It’s Suguru that came to visit you first. He hated the thought of you shutting yourself away. You’re the brightest thing in his life and you make him feel so good, so for you to stop showing your face around, it just made his life that much more miserable. He longed to see your pretty smile. And to feel those plump lips on his own as he pushes you up against a wall.

And that’s what he attempted to do the day he came by. His strong hands tried to keep you against the wall, but he soon realized you were in no shape for anything like this. Your eyes; all sunken and dark. Something was giving off a very curious odor, and his cheeks burned when he realized it was coming from your body.

“What are you doing to yourself?” He pried, a frown on his lips.

You scoffed, “What do you care? You and Satoru are just enjoying using me as your personal ragdoll.”

That stung deep inside of him. You’ve said some cruel things to him yourself, but this was terrible. You looked so frustrated and defeated, and it was breaking his heart. You shooed him from your room, leaving him feeling more than just dejected. It was a gut wrenching pain to see you in such a state.

He knocked furiously on your door, but you never let him back in that day. Still, it made you pause for a while and when he was finally gone from your hallway, you made a beeline for the shower and gave yourself the proper care you deserved.

10 Days until Christmas…

The nights were long in your room. You did your best to get ready for a lonely time. Satoru visited you a few times, but it was to no avail just like his rival. You had no intention of listening to his lame excuses as well. Though he wouldn’t lie to you, you were tired of hearing him try to get back into your good graces. He was hurting you and so was Geto. You longed for them both, but you knew it was just best if you tried to get over your crushes.

Satoru was beginning to get quite impatient. He wasn’t going to just sit back and have you ignore him. You meant everything to him. You were literally his moon and stars. When Suguru told him you weren’t sleeping nor eating much, he was getting so frustrated with you.

And with you ignoring the both of them during classes and missions, it was starting to get a little old. Satoru would struggle with his feelings for you sometimes, but deep in his heart he knew he loved you more than anyone else. If that meant he had to share you with Suguru, so be it. He would do that just to have you.

It’s a slow walk home for him one night. It was dark out that night, and his walk from the train station made him even more weary. He had Christmas presents bundled up in his arms as he made his way back to the school. All he could think about was trying to get you to open up for him maybe once again.

You were feeling a little more open to socializing tonight and you longed for your two crushes. After a warm shower, you found yourself resting on a bed made up with fresh sheets. You had some food delivered and you were just about to dig in when there was a knock at the door. Maybe it was the delivery man with something he forgot to give you. Your heart was wrenched when you saw Satoru there. There was a sadness and softness to the smile he flashed in your direction.

“I have some hot cocoa and a bottle of atsukan I’d like to share with you,”

Those words were filled with so much longing. You weren’t even sure if you had it in you to say no. So you opened your door a little wider and let him in.

You turned on the kettle and fetched two mugs from your cupboard. Both of you kneeled in front of the table and he brought the bottle out. He poured a little alcohol in each mug.

“I’m sorry about what I did that day,”

You’re a little surprised that he’s apologizing for that. Despite his somewhat playboy and arrogant behavior he has around you, Gojo knows he doesn’t want to make you feel like you’re nothing to him. Because you truly had no clue how important you were to him. And you would soon come to find out.

He pulled off his gloves, and you felt the chill from his fingers. It was snowing out there and had been cold out all day. That’s why when you had finished your own shopping, you had made it back home and took a long hot shower. Before long, you found yourself craving those hands on your body. Just to give you a slight shock from the cold.

He looked so deeply into your eyes, making you blush. You were so infatuated with him, it was crazy. Just seeing him without something covering his eyes, you knew you were privileged to see such gorgeous eyes.

“I want you to take care of yourself, okay?” He asked, and you found yourself nodding so stupidly.

“How’d you find out?”

The kettle clicked off and you went to get it so that you could pour some hot water into the mugs. Then you busied yourself with opening the packages of hot cocoa. Satoru watched you carefully as you took the first sip.

“I have my ways of knowing. You’re our girl after all.”

Your heart had skipped a beat and you swore you were floating on clouds. That meant that Suguru had told him what he had seen five days prior to this night. Both of them cared about you.

“I’m staying here for the holidays. So you should come over to my room and we can spend the time together.”

You swore your heart had just reset itself. Surely Satoru had plans for the holidays. He cupped your chin and tilted your head so he could press his lips to yours. You could taste the alcohol and chocolate in his kiss.

He didn’t stay long that night, but you two agreed to meet up once school let up for the holidays.

The start of Christmas vacation…

Only three days remained before Christmas and you were itching to spend time in Satoru’s room. The only thing that changed without your consent was the fact that Suguru had been invited to spend the holidays with you and Satoru. It was going to be a cramped fit, but Satoru wanted this more than anything else. He had a plan for all of this.

Not only did he finish all his shopping a few nights ago, but he had also cleaned up his room for the first time in a little while. It was getting a little more dirty than he usually preferred.

And with the promise of spending time with his two favorite people on his planet, nothing could ruin this holiday. It’s just a little after five in the evening when you knock on his door. Suguru was already over, sitting on the small sofa that Satoru had managed to get set up.

You’re shocked to see them both in the room, but you knew this would only be a good thing. You stayed away from both of them for too long and you longed to just be as close to both your lovers as you can.

Suguru pats his lap once you enter the room and drop your bag on the ground. You walk over to him and straddle him. He’s practically purring when you kiss him. It’s just as he imagined it might be.

“Our poor little kitten,” Suguru teases as his large hands cup your breasts through the tacky Christmas sweater you had on. “She’s been so pent up, Satoru.”

Satoru comes over to the both of you and sits on the sofa. His hands feel nice and warm this time as they soothe up and down your bare thighs.

“That’s what happens when she decides to ignore us,” Satoru teases as he leans in to kiss your neck.

Suguru smirks, “I thought you understood how this works, kitten.”

As if they were going to let you slip away from them again. No way, not again. Suguru kneads your ass under your skirt and he gets you to start grinding against him. Satoru takes a moment to admire the two of you. His cock is already throbbing in his pants. This is going better than he expected to, and he has no complaints at all.

“She’s so wet already, Satoru.”

They both need you so badly now. For weeks they’ve been fucking their own fists, squeezing tight, tight to attempt to mimic your squeezing cunt. It’s so soft and warm in there, and it feels like home to both of them.

“She needs to be taught a lesson.”

That seems to be the consensus between the two men. You know you’re in for it now. There’s no real way to escape, but it’s not like you were really planning on it anyway. You melt in Suguru’s rough touch.

Your panties are ripped off your body, and his strong hands turn you around on his lap. Your back rests against his muscular chest, and you let out pathetic little moans just for the both of them. Your clit was aching to be touched and stimulated. You were already leaking all over his pants.

“She’s just a cute little kitten. She doesn’t know any better,” Suguru begins teasing you, and it’s not long before Satoru joins in.

“What a cockslut. She’s so fucking desperate for us, Suguru.”

Suguru’s fingers barely ghost over the most intimate parts of your body. Your cunt clenched around nothing as you huff out a soft sigh. You lean your head on Suguru’s shoulder and he chuckles.

Satoru gets up and faces you. Your eyes widen when he unbuckles his belt and unzips his pants. Your mouth waters when you see his hardened cock. It’s leaking, throbbing and begging to be sucked.

“Let me show her how a good cocksleeve behaves, Suguru. Then maybe if she is a good girl, you can show her how much we appreciate her.”

Satoru grins as he cups your chin. You look adorable like this, just so helpless on Suguru’s lap. Your legs are spread and your glistening cunt is on display for the both of them. Satoru strokes his cock once, twice, before bringing the weeping head to your lips. You’re so eager to taste him that your tongue comes out to lap at the precum that settles in his slit. He chuckles darkly, and squeezes your cheeks to get your mouth to open. Suguru feels his own cock harden against you.

You’re left breathless as Satoru slips his cock between your lips. It’s so big, and you have to relax your throat to get him fully into your mouth. Still, even with his cockhead basically down your throat, you know there is still some of his cock left to stroke. But Suguru hasn’t let go of your hands. He knows his partner needs this release more than anything else.

“She’s so cute with her mouth full of cock.”

Satoru laughs at this statement. You truly are so adorable with your mouth full of cock. Your little holes always get so stuffed by both of them. And it doesn’t matter which hole it is, it belongs to the two of them. Satoru grunts as his hips begin thrusting. Your little mouth is so warm and wet right now.

“You got that right,” he groans. “We could never let you go, princess.”

Suguru’s hands slip under your sweater and he begins pulling on your nipples. Satoru scolds him a little for being impatient, but Suguru can’t stand this any longer. He needs to touch you and make you whine for them. He needs to hear it, just so it can be stuck in his head again. That beautiful sound of you whining around a cock.

“She’s so beautiful,” Satoru compliments you.

Your eyes begin to tear up as you take more of him into your mouth. He’s just fucking your throat now, and loving every moment of it. You breathe through your nose, but he knows you’re struggling just a little bit right now. Suguru continues tugging on your perky nipples.

“This was a good idea,” Suguru mumbles against your skin. “So glad we have our girl with us for the holidays.”

You’re supposed to spend the two weeks with them completely here. There aren’t many people staying, so you know the three of you have the place almost to yourselves. Staying in and spending your time fucking for two weeks was definitely heaven compared to what you had in mind.

Satoru caresses your cheek lovingly as he continues to thrust. He can’t help but love the way you look with tears in your eyes as you struggle so hard to take him. You would do anything just to make him feel good, and he knows this. You’re crazy about them, and it lights up his world more than anything else could.

His balls are so heavy and he thrusts in time with Suguru’s tugging at your nipples. With a few more thrusts, Satoru is falling off the edge. It’s electric when it does happen, and he is so loud. Suguru’s cock throbs as he watches his best friend cum down your throat, and he knows he’s going to be the next in line to receive the pleasure he wants.

As Satoru comes down from his high, he slowly pulls out of you. A small dribble of cum drips down your chin, but he’s so quick to catch it with his thumb. Then he cheekily pushes that thumb into your mouth, grunting at your soft tongue lapping up the leftover cum greedily.

“Such a good little kitten,”

He sits on the couch and takes you from Suguru’s lap. You’re practically in a daze yourself and you’ve hardly been touched. Suguru pushes up your cute little skirt and he lets his fingers spread your labia.

“She was such a good girl, wasn’t she, Satoru?” Suguru is teasing you now, and he breathes softly against your aching cunt.

“Hmm,” Satoru makes a big show of considering if you were good enough to receive pleasure. “She was a good girl.”

You sigh in relief. You knew you were going to finally receive the pleasure you so desperately needed. Suguru licks his lips as he positions himself on the ground in front of you. Satoru keeps your skirt hiked up, and Suguru can’t help himself anymore.

You whine as his warm tongue pushes against your folds. It’s been way too long since either of them made you cum. You were stupid for being so stubborn earlier this month, but you were feeling like a little ragdoll without real feelings. You know now that it couldn’t be further from the truth. Though you might be their little cocksleeve, they both cared so deeply for you. You had a hunch that they might even love you.

Suguru grunts against your wet slit when you begin tugging on his long, dark hair. You know he absolutely loses his mind when you do that to him as he laps at your wet cunt. Satoru can’t help but to whisper filthy and obscene things in your ear.

“Oh, you really love having your messy pussy devoured by Suguru, don’t you?”

Your heart races, “D-don’t say it like that,”

Satoru begins tugging on your nipples, “I’ll say it however I want, princess.”

You aren’t sure how long you can hold on. Especially with the way Suguru keeps pushing his tongue deep inside your cunt. It’s like he’s lapping at a never ending flow of your nectar. It’s the best thing he’s ever had in his life. He won’t ever be able to have anything more sweet and addicting in his life.

“Such a juicy little cunt,” Suguru says between the greedy slurps of your dripping slit.

Satoru chuckles, “Yeah, our little kitten sure makes a mess. She’s just a needy little thing.”

Suguru returns to lapping at that flow of nectar. He reaches down to begin palming at his cock through his pants. He’s throbbing already and he wonders how he can even get himself to last once he fucks you.

“Oh, she’s so close, Suguru. Make our little kitten make a big mess now.”

Those are the only words of encouragement he needs. Suguru lets his tongue begin swirling and lapping at your aching clit. Just a few steady sucks on your swollen nub, and you’re done for. You feel your body shaking and your juices are drenching both men. Suguru doesn’t even bother stopping as you’re gushing those tasty juices. He’d gladly drown in them if you’d let him.

But when he does pull away, he watches as your head falls back against Satoru’s shoulder. It’s so cute how you think they’re done with you. Oh no, they are far from done with you. There are still two whole weeks before school starts up again.

“I think she’s ready for both of us, Satoru.”

Your cheeks burn at just the thought of the two of them sharing your tight hole. It wouldn’t be the first time they share you, but they rarely do it. Though, it is Christmastime after all. And if Christmastime isn’t for sharing, then what is it for? What you weren’t expecting is for Satoru to set you on the couch and both of them to kneel between your thighs.

“W-wait, what’s going on?”

Satoru grins, “We have to make sure your little hole is ready for both of our fat cocks,”

Suguru laughs, “We could easily tear you apart, kitten.”

Their words and the way that Satoru pushes your thighs apart even more, that’s what makes you get wet again. As soon as you feel both of their tongues on your sore clit, you have to tear your eyes away. The sight of their tongues rubbing together as they lap at your aching cunt, it’s just too much for you to bear.

But Satoru isn’t having this. He reaches up to cup your chin and gently guides you to watch them. Then his other hand soothes up to cup Suguru’s cheek and he pulls him in to kiss. You dribble all over their tongues that are rubbing together. Suguru can’t remember the last time he was this aroused. He feels like he could cum in his pants way too quick like this. Satoru’s tongue tastes not only of your arousal, but it’s a sweet peppermint alcohol flavor that sits there as well.

“You should be watching us, kitten.” Satoru scolds you as you try to look away again.

“N-no. I-I can’t.”

Suguru chuckles, “Why can’t you watch us, kitten?”

“S’too sexy.”

Both men chuckle darkly, and they go right back to basically making out with your sopping pussy. You reach down to run your fingers through their hair, and this makes them work your body even harder for that sweet, sweet release.

When you burst, it’s explosive. Satoru takes his chance to taste you completely this time, and Suguru gets to taste you on his tongue afterward. The two of them make out for a little while longer as they give you the chance to catch your breath. The two of them get on their feet and begin undressing each other.

You aren’t sure who to keep your eyes on. You feel like you’d get whiplash if this continues. But soon Satoru is taking the lead and he leans in to kiss you. You can taste not only yourself on his lips, but there is a faint flavor of Suguru as well. It’s driving you crazy.

“Suguru, get on the sofa.”

Suguru does as he’s told, sitting down on the sofa next to you. Satoru guides him to take you onto his lap, and he does. Suguru holds your thighs apart, and this makes you whimper as your sore cunt is exposed even more to both of them.

“Okay, you put it in first,”

Suguru grunts, “I’m surprised you don’t want the first taste,”

Satoru leans in and kisses him and then you. “Think of it as my Christmas gift to you,”

“Wow, so generous.”

But the two men don’t waste any more time. Suguru guides you to sink down onto his throbbing cock. It renders him speechless, and this is the real reason why Satoru wanted him to go first. He can’t help but find the look on Suguru’s face so arousing. It’s like Suguru goes stupid just from your tight pussy. Satoru knows exactly how it feels though, and he can’t even wait to feel that too.

“Tell me how she feels,” Satoru demands while stroking his own leaking cock.”

“Really–hnnng fuck, really good.”

Suguru’s eyes roll back as your walls flutter around him, desperately trying to milk him. He knows he won’t be able to last long, so he decides to focus mostly on his breathing.

Satoru gets into position, and he begins rubbing your clit in time with the slow and sensual thrusts that Suguru is giving you. You’re panting now, unsure of how much longer you can last with the two of them just taking their fill of you.

“You aren’t going to cum just yet, are you?” Satoru asks. “I didn’t say you could, did I?”

Suguru laughs, “Better listen to him, kitten.”

You try to squeak out how hard it is to hold on when they are both making you feel so good, but it only comes out as desperate little moans. Just as you’re about to cum for the third time that night, Satoru pushes his cock deep within you. And when he bottoms out, he’s nestled in your silky and wet walls against Suguru’s throbbing cock.

“She makes–haaaah fuck fuck fuck…she makes the dumbest little moans, doesn’t she? What a whore,” Satoru’s words go right to your clit, making you whine at the ache from being overstimulated.

“Yeah she does, ‘sounds like a little bitch in heat.” Suguru says with a smirk spread on his lips.

Neither of them are going to be taking it easy on you. Stuck between their sweaty bodies, you feel their cocks slipping against your sweet spot with the tentative and slow thrusts they start with.

But as the three of you begin moaning from the building pleasure, it’s clear to the both of them that they can go even faster and harder. Suguru’s hands slide back up your sweater and he pulls the fabric up over your tits. They jiggle in time with the rough thrusts your lovers are giving you.

“Listen to me, sweetheart,” Satoru says between grunts. “You better be ready to take a pounding like this every day while we are on vacation.”

Suguru barely grunts back his agreement to this set up you’ve got going on. If you three weren’t careful, you’d all end up falling even deeper in love with one another. But it was a chance they were willing to take. Even if you ended up being all theirs, it would be the perfect little Christmas miracle they were hoping for.

“I’m getting close, ‘toru.” Suguru moans, and you find it so incredible sexy that Suguru is getting fucked stupid along with you.

“Cum for us, Suguru. Fill her little cunt up with your seed.”

Suguru tugs on your nipples a little harder, and stars dance in your vision. Satoru reaches down to begin rubbing your swollen and sore clit in slow, teasing circles. You practically scream when your orgasm hits you so hard. Your vision is tunneled as shocks of pleasure keep thrumming through your body. It’s too much, you try to push them both out of you, but it’s impossible.

“Oh no,” Satoru scolds. He clicks his tongue in disapproval. “No, no, no. We won’t have any of that. You’re supposed to be a good and obedient cocksleeve. Let us cum first.’

You whimper so pitifully. And your walls are clinging to them, squeezing them so fucking tight. Suguru cums first, and it’s with such loud and whiny sounds. You didn’t think you’d hear him like this, but you wish to never forget that delicious sound.

“Good boy,” Satoru teases him.

It’s a frantic pace that Satoru sets, and with the sensations of Suguru’s thick load and your walls still clamping down on him like you desperately want to get pregnant, he cums so hard. His vision turns to white as he fills you up with ropes of sticky cum. And when it’s all over, he doesn’t even bother to pull out. He just slumps on top of you.

“You did so good for us, kitten.” Suguru praises you, but you can barely make sense of anything at the moment.

“She did. She is the perfect cocksleeve.”

You whine as Satoru pulls out first, then Suguru pulls out. Satoru carries you to the bed and he lays you down. The two men crawl under the covers with you, keeping you safe and warm in their loving embrace.

“Get some rest, kitten.” Satoru coaxes.

Suguru laughs breathily, “Yeah, because when we get up, it’s round two.”

#bacon.writes #satoru x reader #gojo x reader #suguru x reader #geto x reader #geto suguru x reader #geto suguru x you #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x you #gojo satoru x geto suguru #geto suguru x gojo satoru #jjk x reader #jjk x you #satoru gojo x reader #satoru gojo x you #suguru geto x reader #suguru geto x you

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nadas-dirthalen · 5 months ago

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I Saw Solas's Origin in an Achievement Icon and It Opened My Eyes on 15 Years of Lore

— PART TWO: if you haven't read previous parts, do it now! —

[ 1 ] [ 3 ] [ 4 ] [ 5 ] [ 6 ] [ 7 ] [ 8 ] [ 9 ] [ 10 ]

Welcome, friends and travelers! I wanted to get some thoughts recorded before Veilguard's release so I could see if I am right about an absolute BOATLOAD of theories I have.

In short: I saw the achievement list when it was released. I have seen the backstory hints for Solas included in said list. AND MY MIND WAS BLOWN.

You have been warned: THIS COLLECTION OF THEORIES INCLUDES SPOILERS FOR EVERY DRAGON AGE GAME AND ALL PROMOTIONAL MATERIAL UP TO AND INCLUDING OCTOBER 18, 2024.

Come sit down with me. Make a nice cup of tea (and hide it from Solas). We've got a lot of unpacking to do.

(this photo isn't the spoiler, I just like it.)

Today's Docket: (Almost) Every Hint the Elvhen Language Gave Us Along the Way

Today we will be reviewing:

The Lullaby from the Deep Roads in Trespasser

Elven phrase: Ar dirthan'as ir elgara, ma sula e'var vhenan.

Lullaby: "Suledin (Endure)"

A breakdown of the word Suledin

Lullaby: "Where Willows Wail"

Song: "I Am the One"

Decoding the word (Indecipherable) from the Temple of Solasan

The Lullaby from the Deep Roads in Trespasser

I wish I'd posted here this summer, but finding this lullaby during a Trespasser replay and actually going out of my way to translate it was the first inkling I had that Solas might be Titan-wrought.

We know that Mythal mined Titans. But this lullaby is the first concrete indication that I had that she made Solas from lyrium, too.

For our purposes, I am not pasting the incorrect translation given by the codex. Just the elvish.

Ir sa tel'nal, Mythal las ma theneras. Ir san'a emma. Him solas evanuris. Da'durgen'lin, Banal malas elgara. Bellanaris, bellanaris.

It took me a long time to translate, and there are some parts I'm not even sure that I have correct. But they came together for me once I saw Solas's achievement icon, and I will explain some of the new pieces later on in this post.

Since the dwarven word for lyrium is Isana, I am making the guess that Ir san'a translates the same way.

I am one, not [nal] [anymore] Mythal gives me dreams Lyrium within Becomes Solas evanuris Little stone boy Never grants me elgara (the Domain, the Titan—more on that soon) Forever, forever

Da'durgen'lin has been ringing in my mind for months. Plural months. Seeing the achievement icon, that was the first word that came to me. Mythal's da'durgen'lin — her little stone boy.

He was once a part of more than one, and now is alone. Just one. Mythal gave him dreams—dreams that called him. He became Solas, evanuris. Little stone boy.

And now, he will never be of elgara, a spirit of the Titan, ever ever again.

Forever, forever.

"Ar dirthan'as ir elgara, ma sula e'var vhenan" — What does e'var mean, and what in the world does it have to do with Sera?

Second big "Solas might be Titan-related???" thought this summer: hearing Vows & Vengeance episode 1 and hearing a phrase that had eaten my brain since I first heard it used. Ar dirthan'as ir elgara, ma sula e'var vhenan. Something Solas says, a little flippantly, to Sera—and something he sighs at, when she does not understand it.

But in V&V, when he says it to the Eye of Kethisca, its lyrium song... quiets.

So what does it mean? Well, some of the words had poked at me for a while. But with the achievement icon, I believe I understand them, when I think about their Titan implications.

Ar dirthan'as ir elgara, ma sula e'var vhenan.

Ar: The elvish page on the DA wiki says this is the word for "I" or "me." We're sticking with that.

dirthan'as: This one gave me pause. We know dirth as "knowledge" or "wisdom," but also as "tell" or "speak." To understand it, I looked at the suffixes, the TWO suffixes. The "--an" suffix we recognize mostly from place names (vir abelasan, Solasan). But the "--as" suffix? I recognize i from "vhenas:" "home". So for this one, I am taking "place-home" to mean "domain." Domain of wisdom.

ir: Wiki says "I am," and I'm sticking with that.

elgara: We know "elgar" is elvish for spirit. But why the extra A? It puzzled me, until I realized Solas's Titan connection. I think the extra A comes from lyrium spirit. (And from the previous song, I think elgara is referring to that connection back to the lyrium, Solas's place in the Titan's choir.)

ma sula: In Elvish, the placement of the "ma" determines the subject/object of the sentence. When you see "ma" before a verb, it means, "you do the verb." Since "sula" is likely "sing," this means, "you sing" — or, "sing to me."

e'var: THIS one blew my brain wide open. "Var," we know from the Wiki, is "our." But why the E? Well, think about "Our" in the context of a Titan. Who is our? This refers to the Many.

vhenan: Heart. We know that one.

Taken together?

Ar dirthanas ir elgara, ma sula e'var vhenan. I am a lyrium spirit of the [Titan/Domain] of Wisdom, sing to me in the song of All Our heart.

Think about Sera. Think about small painted boxes, and go watch one of the many theory videos equating Sera with Andruil. Think about why Solas might have been trying to speak to her with those words, in the same way he spoke to the Eye of Kethisca.

Then hope for a Sera cameo in Veilguard. Cross your fingers and light your candles with me.

"Suledin (Endure)"

This is another one of those ones where I won't be posting the (incorrect) translation. My translation here is spotty, with a lot of my guesses or unknowns going into [these brackets]. But even with many guesses, I think this says enough to let us know one thing: this is about Solas, and possibly even written by him.

Melava inan enansal ir su aravel tu elvaral u na emma abelas in elgar sa vir mana in tu setheneran din emma na lath sulevin lath araval ena arla ven tu vir mahvir melana ‘nehn enasal ir sa lethalin

Time was once a blessing I am a song-journey [with no way forward] Eternal are sorrows within In spirit, no longer "we" The land of waking dreams no longer exists Love is purpose Love is the journey of [joy/victory/blessing] A way out of the trap between [my speech and the Many] Time of singing again Triumph over loss, lyrium elvhen man

Ask me, one day, how all these mentions of Love might relate to Lucanis. To Spite. To the climax of Veilguard itself.

I hope I'm right.

A quick breakdown of the word Suledin...

It is very possible that it is, in fact, three words made into one. Sul • e • din.

Sul: possibly shortform for Sing

e: possibly referring to the Many, as in e'var

din: end, or the dead.

Suledin: Sing our dead. As in, go on living, remembering the lost. Go on being, breathing, and carrying the memory of the forgotten. Not strictly endure, but outlive.

Var lath vir suledin, then, might mean: our love will outlive this.

Crying yet?

(Banter source: Varric/Solas after the first memory in the Jaws of Hakkon DLC.)

Lullaby: "Where Willows Wail"

Tel’enara bellana bana’vhenadahl, Sethen’a ir san’shiral, mala tel’halani Ir sa’vir te’suledin var bana’vallaslin, Vora’nadas san banal’him emma abel revas. Ir tela’ena glandival, vir amin tel’hanin. Ir tela las ir Fen halam, vir am’tela’elvahen.

My translation:

Nothing is eternal, the tree of the People is forever [ruined/blighted] I walk the path here in the land of waking dreams, I give you no help I am [one of The All], [but I cannot endure because of] our [bad/ruined/blighted] vallaslin [Vora] inevitable [here] becomes nothing within the sorrow of freedom I am not [good/holy] [belief], the path the one of no glory. I did not give myself the name Wolf, we [are not called the elvahen.]

I'll let you cry with me. Solas is alone. He can't help you. He is stuck.

The tree of the People... might be the branches of the We. The lyrium, connecting him to the Titan. The blood of the We that makes up all that Solas is.

It is forever ruined. He is cut off. He is one of the All, but he has no ability to find strength in that pain, because of the vallaslin—the one he burned off his face, leaving a scar.

Y'know. The vallaslin in the shape of lyrium branches. The ones in the shape of his body. The ones that so many of us were wearing for 10 long years.

The sorrow of freedom.

Let that ring in your mind, as I have.

"I Am the One" — and now, we're beginning understand the Forgotten Ones, aren't we?

No translation needed. Let me bold what I want to focus on.

I feel sun Through the ashes in the sky. Where's the one Who'll guide us into the night? What's begun Is the war that will Force this divide. What's to come Is fire and the end of time. I am the one Who can recount What we've lost. I am the one Who will live on. I have run Through the fields Of pain and sighs. I have fought To see the other side. I am the one Who can recount What we've lost. I am the one Who will live on.

Solas is the one who can remember what was lost. Cool, elvhen empire, right?

But he says I have fought to see the other side. This song crops up in Origins. Why would it say that, when Solas hadn't actually physically been back to the Fade by then?

Because that's the wrong other side. The original other side was any life outside of his Titan.

The divide isn't between us and the Fade. It's between the Fade/Evanuris and the Titans of the real/waking world.

And with all Titans being forgotten, with them forgetting how to wake up... isn't it peculiar that Solas is the sole one who can remember?

What does it mean, then, that Solas is the one who will live on?

And was any of this why the elven version of this song was what they used for Solas ans Elio's chanting in Vows & Vengeance episode 1? Because something about that song prompted them to use it, even though the elvish is not BioWare canon because it was written by someone else.

For whatever reason, they wanted us to know Solas was singing these lyrics. That this was his message, when dealing with a lyrium orb.

Trust me, I'm still going. If "Titans = Forgotten Ones" isn't clicking yet, it will by the time I'm through with these posts.

The (Indecipherable) from the Temple of Solasan Codex tells us everything we need to know. But what does it mean?

This one's long, but I'll break down this codex bit by bit.

Faintly carved into the stone is a figurebound in chains. Two other figures haveturned their gaze from the central image.The script below the image is ancient,though Solas is able to provide a partialtranslation: Pride in our accomplishments and in our hearts. That same pride became (a word meaning corrupted or altered) within him, he sought to claim (indecipherable), cast from favor and so he was bound. Hidden from mortal eyes, death lies within.

Here goes.

Faintly carved into the stone is a figure bound in chains. Two other figures have turned their gaze from the central image.

I believe this means: two worlds that don't accept Solas as their own. Or, the "We" that turned away from him.

The script below the image is ancient,though Solas is able to provide a partialtranslation: Pride in our accomplishments and in our hearts

The use of our here is insane. Because I don't think it's our in the regular way, I think it's Our in the capitalized way. If I were to translate back to Elvish, I'd write it like: Solas in e'var enasalin la e'var vhenan.

I think it meant to say: the Titans harbored pride. Pride in themselves and the We; but Pride that turned their focus away from the We.

Ambition.

That same pride became (a word meaning corrupted or altered) within him,

That same pride was preyed upon and altered. By whom? Well, who filled him with dreams?

(This needs a LOT OF CONTEXT from the Blackened Hearts memory in DA:tv, Memory #3, before I can definitively say more!)

he sought to claim (indecipherable), cast from favor and so he was bound.

Ah, (indecipherable). He sought to claim a new life. He sought to claim love. He sought to claim independence. And the Stone struck him out of it. Separated him. Cut him off from the whole like a rotting limb. And so... he was bound, because he was untethered. Mythal bound him to her, and (probably) made his vallaslin in the shape of the body he'd just had. (Lemme cry about that a whole other time oh my god)

Hidden from mortal eyes, death lies within.

BECAUSE THE WORLD FORGOT THE TITANS.

The Titans are hidden from mortal eyes. The TItans are starting to exhibit their blighted selves with the emergence of red lyrium.

The Titans, perhaps, are doomed — unless Solas fixes them by tearing down the Veil? Unless the lyrium that grows in the Fade is also needed by the Titans in the waking world?

ANYWAY: if you're still here reading, thank you. Truly. I'm hoping Part 3 will come soon, but I truly don't know yet! Busy week, chronic pain, etc.

Next up: The Titans' Magic and Lyrium.

#dragon age #dragon age the veilguard #veilguard spoilers #dragon age: the veilguard #da:tv #dragon age spoilers #dragon age meta #dragon age theory #da4 spoilers #da:tv spoilers #datv spoilers #solas

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