#though you could argue the two aren't quite the same

[bookwyrminspiration]

I wonder if Keefe overheard something during his time with the Neverseen when, in Lodestar, he was told someone had been tortured and was immediately concerned it was Dex. Maybe he recalled what Dex was like in the days after his original kidnapping, when Sophie was still unconscious? Or maybe Dex told Keefe about what the two of them went through?

Hyper analyzing things Shannon never meant to be hyper analyzed is my passion

Possible! Who knows what was going through Keefe's mind in that moment (chpt 38/pg. 334 in Lodestar for anyone curious).

My assumption was that he jumped to Dex because Dex and Sophie had been kidnapped and tortured before, so even if there was no immediate reason for them to be kidnapped again, the mind still makes that association. And Sophie was right in front of him, so he knew she hadn't been, leaving Dex.

Though I think Keefe remembering the days after the kidnapping (after all, he was there and helped find Sophie and Dex beneath the tree, and even leaped Dex away himself--him having tended to Dex may even be part of his thinking of him in that scene) is more likely than Dex having told him anything. He's rather cagey about it, and it doesn't seem like at that point they'd have a strong enough relationship for Dex to bring up that sort of thing. Unless he absolutely had to, and I don't think there was a situation like that. But I'm certain he witnessed himself the aftermath for both of them, as he would've been near during their healing as much as he could

I wouldn't put it past the Neverseen to bring it up where he could hear, though. My main hesitation is whether or not it was recent enough to merit talking about in Lodestar. The kidnapping was significant, but other significant events took place after that that were more relevant to what was happening during his Neverseen time, so those seem like they could be wielded over him as well, and might get even more of a reaction out of him, which I assume would be their goal if they were doing something like that. Unless you mean they were alluding to plans to torture Dex again, which brings up a whole other host of wonderings.

No way to know for certain what he was thinking! My guess is via association since Dex and Sophie were kidnapped before, and he took care of Dex while Fitz took Sophie. But you can certainly take it beyond that.

[medicinemane]

The problem with people who are "right" because they insist they're right, and the only way to be right is to simply perfectly follow their every dictation on the subject unquestioningly is this...

Ok, let's just take it as a given that you're right... the problem here is that if that's what's right I'm afraid I have to dig my heels into being wrong. If you are as righteous and just as you insist you are then I've got no choice but to be the villain because I can't stand what you're saying I'd have to do to be good

Shockingly I even think it's wrong, which is odd because we've already defined it that you're inherently and unassailably right... yet here we are

Worst part is there's a lot of these things where I'm not even full stop against it, I actually might be on their side if they could stop and address a couple of issues I consider kind of important... but they won't, because they're morally right and don't have time for addressing nonexistent issues I'm clearly just dreaming up

Undoubtedly right they are, the defect must surely be my own... and yet here we are. Vile and wicked as it might make me, I still can't just go along with you

[feefivefoe]

I guess I'm unintentionally working my way up the age ladder, so Jason next-

This is the first part that contains backstory stuff I gave my reader, so unfortunately this is where a lot of the "they can be anyone" immersion dies, sorry y'all.

Genuinely, he thought he might hate you at first. Even at the preteen age of 12, where children were usually trying to start striving to independence, you had been so...bland.

It's not that you didn't stand out. Quite the contrary. Anywhere Alfred could be found, you were just a step or two behind him. A leech. Only ever speaking in a hushed voice, making the old man strain himself to hear you, surely.

He doesn't think you've ever even looked him in the eye.

It isn't until that summer he starts connecting the dots. You still cling to long sleeved shirts, pants over shorts, even when it's clear you're struggling to not overheat.

Then he catches you in the kitchen in the middle of the night, t-shirt and pajama shorts.

Burn marks, healed yet gruesome, decorate your arms and legs. Based on how they're positioned, he'd argue they probably exist on the rest of your body, too.

And yet, despite his invasion of what you clearly(?) wanted kept hidden, you merely bow your head in shame and offer a meek apology.

That's when he stops seeing you as a problem, but as a victim of consequence.

Not a bratty child who doesn't care enough about the lower class to speak to your new 'sibling,' but a lonely child who had never even once considered he might want to speak to you.

"Mister Wayne and Mister Grayson are very busy." You had said once, matter of factly rather than bitter or sad. "I'm sure they'd spend time with me if they weren't. But they have two lives, so they have less time than anybody."

He doesn't have the heart to tell you that they make time for him. And the rest of Gotham.

As you do with Alfred, you begin to shadow him. Meandering behind him without a care as to what his plans are, happy to receive the barest of acknowledgments.

You hesitate when speaking about yourself, as though taking up his time with mentions of you is an issue. He's starting to understand why.

Jason isn't sure if it's pity or growing affection that keeps him around, at first. For a while, he sees you as more of a sad, wet dog than as his family.

But you begin to connect with peers at school, finding validation outside of those that feel forced to give it to you. You mature, grow up more than you should, and realize the reality of your home life.

And Jason is thrilled! ...and...a little sad? He's happy for you, sure. Having friends is probably what you needed. People who want you around, genuinely. Who choose to make time for you.

But he'd be lying if he said that the way you used to stare at him didn't make him feel like a hero. Like he was doing so much, changing your world, simply by existing.

You still speak, of course. You're friendly siblings that get along well. You give him various foods you've tried making, courtesy of Alfred inspiring a desire to learn to cook and bake on your own. You talk about books you've read together, and listen intently while he rambles about his favorites.

You even peek in after particularly rough patrol nights, just to make sure he's gotten through it okay.

But it isn't...quite the same. No, but it's...it's for the best.

And he is still a hero! As Robin, he's protecting the whole city alongside Batman!

So he's still a hero.

He's still your hero.

"Jay? I was wondering if I could ask you for some help. The show my club is doing is one of those old books you like-"

"They aren't that old."

"-and my character doesn't show up much in the movie-"

"You watched the MOVIE before reading the book!?"

"-so I wanted to ask if you'd help me with characterization!"

He remembers groaning at you and rolling his eyes. "I'm busy tonight. Go watch the dumb, BAD, movie again." He pauses. "Uh, but I can tomorrow. I'll make sure I don't have anything planned, promise."

He saw you pause, and sees the constant same promises pass through you.

"I...have other arrangements. I'll make it up to you next time."

"Ah...sorry, kiddo! Big kid stuff. But next time! You trust your big bro, yeah?"

But this is Jason. Jason doesn't lie to you.

Jason keeps his promises.

You smiled. "Yeah. Tomorrow."

...

Then he died.

[bluebugjay]

A lot of people aren't vibing with Charles and Crystal's romance and honestly i think it's because it's not necessarily supposed to be a full-fledged, endgame romance.

I think it's written to be a fling.

Charles is a flirt; one of the first things he thinks about when Edwin tells him ghosts can't feel is that he would miss kissing, he says himself it's nice to be seen by someone his own age, he calls Crystal fit, etc. Assumably between cases he has a very small social circle of literally just Edwin so it makes sense that this girl who he gets on with and finds attractive immediately becomes a bit of a crush for him.

Then Crystal picks up on his flirting almost immediately, again they get on, etc. She says if he wasn't dead and she wasn't dealing with the aftermath of her toxic relationship with David he would be a good addition to her body count, i.e. just a fling. She doesn't say they'd date or she could fall for him just that they'd probably hook up.

Their first kiss happens when they're both dealing with some heavy stuff, Charles is angry, continuing to push down his trauma with his father and his past, Crystal is annoyed about not being any closer to getting her memories back whilst trying to deal with the trauma her last relationship caused her. They find comfort in each other in that moment. Crystal says she wants something real and the care they have for each other is real, there's no manipulation, no secrets. It's honest and it's innocent.

The song that plays in that scene is called Young Blood (White Sea Remix) by The Naked and Famous and has lyrics such as 'we're only young and naive still' and 'can't help myself but count the flaws, claw my way out of these walls, one temporary escape' and 'we lie beneath the stars at night, our hands gripping each other tight, you keep my secrets hope to die' - It does align with the idea that they're what each other wants in the moment, a distraction, to be able to pretend everything is normal and ok (keep each others secrets)

Crystal in the next episode, the next morning after their kiss, literally calls Charles a 'cute distraction' and says they should be friends. This time both of their issues and trauma are the reason for them not continuing the relationship. Blatantly, Crystal isn't ready for another relationship so soon after David, she wakes up with a nightmare about him and Charles. They bring up Charles fighting the Night Nurse and Charles says that he thought they were on the same page about it and 'at least that's how it seemed last night' which again leans into the fact they were both looking for comfort. Charles and Crystal kissing had nothing explicitly to do with her supporting his actions fighting the Night Nurse and yet that's how he took it because that's what he was searching for comfort from and acceptance on. Which is most likely why he seems to take the rejection harder than Crystal, seemingly agreeing to be friends more out of respect for her choice than the want to call it quits himself.

Charles tells Edwin later on about the kiss (right after Edwin is complaining about having to cancel plans with Monty) and says though he didn't physically feel it, he did feel it 'up here' and points to his head. The mind is generally not the place you feel love, I feel that's a given. (reminds me of the starfish on the beach that Niko says are in love, Edwin points out starfish have no brain and Niko says love doesn't require logic, meaning: love is not stored in the mind.) Charles and Edwin's conversation veers off to being about there own relationship, with Charles saying he wouldn't want to be dead with anyone else - not even the girl you just kissed? No? Ok.

The way that episode goes (The case of the two dead dragons) Crystal and Charles end up arguing about the very reasons they decided to not continue their relationship. Crystal likens Hunter and Brad to David, and Charles defends them saying not everyone is her demon ex-boyfriend which seems like he's projecting and really defending himself. Then Crystal calls him out on his 'rage problem' and what happened with the Night Nurse. So though they comforted each other the night before, their real feelings for each others issues are surfacing and they're not so on the same page. Of course they get over this and apologise soon enough. Though in the end, it's Edwin Charles opens up to and actually talks to about how he's feeling rather than pushing it aside and looking for a distraction. And after that, Charles gives Crystal genuine comfort not just a distraction by listening to her talk about her nightmares/visions about David. (immediately followed by the scene of Edwin and Monty on the swings in which Edwin suggests they don't see each other anymore, then back tracks, they kiss followed by rejection which definitely has... parallels)

After that, Crystal and Charles are still an obvious source of comfort for one another, they talk to each other about their stresses, they stick close together a lot of the time but there's nothing inherently romantic to their actions aside from the fact we know they have kissed which gives their actions a depth that, for example Edwin and Niko's don't, despite them also being affectionate and spending time together alone.

Then in the last episode as Crystal is attempting to leave for London, her and Charles share another kiss. When she tries to say bye to Charles, he says it feels like a 'good-bye good-bye' rather than a 'see you back in London good-bye' and Crystal doesn't correct him, essentially confirming it was supposed to be a forever goodbye. She instead kisses him. It's a good-bye kiss. A (supposed to be) final kiss. A 'we had a good run' type of kiss. Crystal kisses him because she thinks she'll never see him again. It's similar to the first in which the kiss itself is the beginning and end, and it doesn't mean much past that. It's a kiss as a secret again, like their first kiss. A kiss to fill the space left by things they don't want to talk about. She doesn't want to admit she's planning on leaving for good so she kisses him instead, it's a comfort and it's a distraction. (and its consistent)

When Crystal decides to stay in the end, Charles says it'll be great, then specifies that 'solving cases together' will be great, not anything else that could of implied. Which could either be them just being awkward, or a flip in their dynamic that now Crystal is the one more involved in their relationship and Charles is the one setting boundaries.

Overall I think they have a really interesting dynamic. They are exactly what each other needs in moments and then the opposite in the next, they care about each other so much yet are possibly the people that unearth each others insecurities and traumas the most. They're both looking for a new, different kind of relationship and find it within the other but inherently once the novelty fades they fall more into being friends than anything more. I think like most of the relationships in this show, they're supposed to be complicated, they're supposed to be more of a journey than a destination. They learn and grow from their interactions together and I think that's something really beautiful.

[eastend-if]

👥DEMO 👥 PLAYLIST 👥 PINTEREST 👥 COG FORUM

You keep having the same dreams over and over. It happened, years ago, before you left. You thought you had left Eastend behind for good.

It seems you can never truly escape your past. The Priest had warned you.

There's a girl you've never seen in your dreams. Yet, she seems so familiar - as a forgotten teddy bear you left in the attic of your home. She feels right, she looks wrong, she's wrong. Because she's not you, she says. And the two of you stand on the road...a bright light blinds you but the smell of iron reaches you. You do not need your eyes to deduce the ending of the nightmares.

Metaphorical dreams have never been your forte...except this is real. On the day you arrive, she's still alive. And smiling...laughing...walking with her friends. She looks like a normal girl of your age.

You black out - from the shock you think. The familiar iron smell being all too close, it makes you nauseous. At least, the earthen scent that lingers on your clothes counters it a little.

Why are you in the woods again?

....Why is there blood on your hands?

Welcome home, whispers the wind.

• Customize the vessel whether be it in looks, personality or identity.

• You are free to romance four of the cast. Maybe more, there are many eyes on you.

• Your choices will shape you as they shape the town. They will have consequences on the people around you and those who aren't anymore. Be careful you never know what effect the ripples may have.

• Explore your past to shape your future.

• Fight your nightmares should you be so inclined - or welcome them, there might be surprises in the deep dark part of your mind?

• Choose whether or not you'll doom your childhood town - although, that might not be left to you. Leaving is an option too, after all, you've already left once.

• Survive - or don't. You didn't think you were the only one who could save them, did you?

Eastend is rated 18+ for sexual themes, substance use, explicit language, explicit violence, death and more.

Beverly Arevalo [F,23], your childhood friend. At least, one of you perceived it that way. She has always been difficult to read and understand, you were one of the few who could years back. Maybe you can rekindle your friendship - maybe it will grow into more. The only thing you know for certain is that there are many unknowns surrounding Beverly.

Aina Valen [F,26] is that stereotypical preppy girl, at least what you know of her. You were never quite close when you still lived in town, but things have changed and so have both of you. Surprisingly enough, she works at the library now, having taken over her brother. You're not aware of what happened between them, only that she seems overly bored whenever you pass by the vitrine. At least she insists on telling you you are the 'spice' of her days, whatever that may mean.

Benjamin Li [M,26] his preferred nickname, Benji has always shown kindness to you and this didn't change with your unexpected return. He somehow always has a nice word for you or others in his vicinity, it's refreshing quite frankly. There are always critters following him around but they say animals are good judges of characters so that's a good sign, right?

Hezekiah Lyncroft [M, 24] was always a pain in your ass, even younger. Always arguing with you over anything and nothing, he was the reason for many headaches. Back then, there were rumours about his home life, ones you remember well. At least, he seems to be in a better place nowadays, even though he's still a pain to be around. But not all pains are bad.

+ familiar faces and strangers you've yet to meet

Demo stands currently at 5.8k words. It is meant as short introduction to the setting and story. Hope you enjoy despite the length :)

[oval3000]

Chapter 3

Yandere Psych Patient König x Nurse Reader

Warning: Possesive, Obsession, Death, Gore, Blood, Smut, Toxic behavior, age gap.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

(This might suck idk. I don't know German so it's all Google translate)

-------------------------------------------------------

He hasn't left his room for a month. They kept him in their with the straitjacket on. His meals are just vitamins that he has to swallow. You would go in to check up on him, but new orders from the administrator's to not go near at all, so you pass by his room. You would peak through the little window and see him laying on his back with little no to motion on his arms or body entirely. His psychiatrist, Dr. Smith is the only that goes in there. They have sessions in his room instead of the usual spot they have it in.

She was pissed at everyone, specifically you. You are her punching bag, even though it was Ben's fault. "Why hasn't he been given his meds!" She yelled at you.

"We are not allowed to go i-" you tried to explain your her, but she could care less.

"You are his nurse right! Your job is to give him his meds! How did you graduate when you can't even do that!" She yelled at you.

You plead for her to listen to you "I'm sorry, Dr. Smith. I can't it's Mr. Millers orders. No one can go in except you because you are his psychiatrist."

So she strolled her way to the administrator's office.

Ignoring his assistant from telling her that she can't go in. Slaming the door open to see him sitting on his chair, writing whatever cral he writes on paper.

"Sarah calm down!"

"Do you have any idea how dangerous he is, and you want me to deal with him alone! On top of that the lack of guards is making my job harder!" Dr. Smith argued with a hand on her hips and her finger pointing towards Ben.

"Do you remeber when you wanted a nurse to look after him." She rolled her eyes. Yes, you, the nurse. "Do you have any idea how much money is going towards her. Triple the pay for looking after him."

Her hands swing in motion, showing her frustration. "She can't even do her fucking job Ben!"

"If she's alive, then she's doing her job well. What's making this hard, is you barging into my office and telling me what to do when you are the one demanding this." He stood up from his chair, fixing his navy tie. "We're loosing staff. People don't want to go near him. Gabriel is threatening to sue the company. Gaurds are quiting left and right so sorry that there aren't enough staff attending your needs."

She crossed her arms with an annoying sigh leaving her lips tinted with red lipstick. "Then hire more people, I don't see the problem?"

"Did you not hear what I said" he walked towards her, standing toe to toe to her. "Majority of our budget is going towards (Y/n). She's been here for two months now, lasting longer than any other nurses. We can't afford another hire with the same pay to deal with König. Besides he hasn't actually killed anyone in those two months, I'll take that than dealing with someone who has a broken jaw from a simple punch."

"Then ask for more money." She scuffed like if it was a joke she said.

He laughed at her face, "Do you think the government cares to fund more for this place, I already have the staff on my ass for new medical supplies, do you think they are gonna hand me the budget to hire someone with triple pay just because you are scared."

"Then fire (y/n) and hire a new guard, maybe someone with military experience."

"Why would I do that. You came into my office, spreaded your legs cause you were so desperate for a nurse and now you want me to fire her. She hasn't done anything in particularly wrong."

"She doesn't follow orders!"

"She does, you just make it difficult." He came in defense.

"Wasn't she trying to stop you from putting him into a straitjacket?" She smirked while her arms crossed at her chest.

"Yes, and she was right. Putting him in a straitjacket does nothing. He was fine it's just that..." he closed his eyes taking deep breath.

"Just what?" She came closer to him, placing her hand on his shoulder, gently caressing it.

He turned his head to her, he used to lovy dovey with her seduction, but now it's more annoyance. "Eli, the other guard, came to my office the other day and told me that Gabriel was provoking König."

She rolled her eyes, looking around his office. Paying attention to the paintings hanged up on the wall and the light objects he has on his desk. "Like what? Making fun of him? We all make fun the people here what else is new?"

"I don't know the full details, but that's what he told me." He sat a bit on his desk.

"Why does that matter?" She shook her head without a single thought in her brain.

"Gabriel is threatening to sue us. If we fight the legal action, we'll have to defend König. König, just like any other patient represent us, our care. If they find out that Gabriel was the one that caused this, making König the victim it doesn't look good after we placed him in the straitjacket. Like we silencing him out. It will ruin our reputation, we'll all loose our jobs and you fucked your way up here for nothing."

"But he harmed a worker, beside murdered multiple people." She let out a little chuckle, placing her hand on his chest.

He didn't give in, instead, he gave her a stare. "He's ex- military and as for you being his psychiatrist, you'll have to speak on behalf of him. Meaning that people will find out about you, how you never studied to become a doctor you fucked every professor you had to get your degree."

"What are you saying, Ben." Her smile dropped.

"I won't fire (Y/n). She stood up for König, making us look like we care about our patients. As for Gabriel, all he's asking is for some 20,000 thousand dollars, which we can easily give him worth than standing infront of the judge. Which means that we can't afford new guards for you. Besides they're taking off his straitjacket today, so stop being so scared and do your dam job."

"I still think you should fire, (Y/n) atleast." She hummed, wrapping her arms around his waist.

"I'm not doing that. Beside she's the only staff that doesn't barge in here demanding stuff. She nice and sweet...." he looked down to the side, " and...young and beautiful. "

She let go of his waist, clenching her jaw. Yes, you being so beautiful. "So what? You want to fuck her? Is that it. Never head young pussy before?"

"You should leave, I have work to do and so do you. This discussion is over." He walked to his desk, sitting down on his chair, unbutton his last few buttons from his dark, navy, blazer.

She stormed off his office, angrly stomping on the white tile floors with her heels creating a louder noise.

You heard the word going around that their taking of his straitjacket, so you quickly gathered what you need to check him up. You saw as the guards took off. He let out a big stretched, flexing more of his muscles. It caused a scare to the guards like a lion letting out a roar.

You walked up to and saw more of his face. He stared at you.

He missed you. He never thought he would miss you. During that month of not seeing you was a time he contemplated about you. Are you made for him or not. He will shut his eyes and images of you will pop up. You smiling at him. Taking good care of him. Watching you squirm under him as you take his full length cock inside your pussy. He'll treat you with respect as long as you do what he says that's all. Seeing your belly swell up with his baby. Can't wait to fuck your tits filled with milk. Can't wait to impregnate you with multiple of his children, making one big happy family. How protective he'll be for his kids, for you. To stand up to the bullies, to show them not to be scared of anything. To hold them if they cry.

He should kill you for making him react this way. He should just kill you. You are just another nurse thinking they have control over him. He use to give orders to people, being the colonel and all, he got the respect he fought for, why does he feel weak around you. You are so sweet and joyful to him. If he was back in the field and saw you, would he kill you. Or maybe fuck you. Maybe that's it. He hasn't done it in so long, so long he hasn't touch a women. He should've just fucked one of the other nurses. Yes, maybe he should do that. Fuck a nurse, just to see. I mean what's the harm in that.

"Aah...yes. right there ngh.... yes...oh fuck that feels good."

The sound of König's footsteps were low that they couldn't hear over the sound of skin slapping against eachother. Watching a men fucking his girlfriend on his bed.

"Does your boyfriend fuck you like this?" Slaming her ass back and forth on his cock.

"Ah....a-aah....he-..he could barley...make me- fuck!..mmgh....wet." She grip the bedsheets hard while he kept pounding her.

No. No. He can't. Not you. He can't. He can't betray you like they did. He can't imagine the face you'll make if you know he fucked another girl. No he should be pure to you. You should be the only one he touches.

He needs you. Okay, it's done. He'll make you his and you'll love him. You'll love him and care for him. Rather you like him or not it's done.

You wrapped the cuff around his bicep and squeeze the bulb reading the numbers on the circle, writing it down. Doing the usual things you have studied for. As you were checking his heartbeat, he reached up which caused you to flinch a bit. His index finger, gently, caressing your cheek. Your back was turned to the guards, making it hard them to see what's going. You stared at him as he touched you with such charisma. His thumb reaching to your chin, hovering over your lips. He placed the tip of his thumb on your bottom lip, gently pulling it out a bit.

You shouldn't have this feeling at the pit of your stomach. You couldn't tell of you didn't smack his hand away because you are scared or because you enjoy it. You never had this much attention, not like this.

"I don't have time to argue with you (Y/n)! Go to your room!" The little girl tuged at her moms shirt.

"Where's daddy?" She felt tears running down her face as her mother poured more wine into her glass, already finishing up the fresh new bottle.

"(Y/n)! Seriously go to room! You are such a headache! Why couldn't your father take you with him! Nauseating!" She dranked the entire glass, slamming the cup on the table.

"Where's daddy?" She said one last time not letting go of her blanket. The same blanket her father got her when she told him she was cold.

"HE LEFT! HE LEFT US (Y/N)! LEFT US FOR THAT BITCH! AND NOW I'M STUCK HERE WITH YOU. HE RUINED MY LIFE. I COULD'VE DONE SOOOO MANY THINGS! But no! I'm stuck to take care of a brat!"

He palmed your cheek, feeling your warmth. He went in closer to you. You could feel his hot breath, quicken as he got closer to your lips.

You pulled back, "I shouldn't- we shouldn't. I mean." You whispered to him.

"Mein liebling (my darling)." He whispered to you. The first time he spoke to you. You couldn't understand him, but he spoke to you. "Du bist mein (you are mine)." He pulled you closer to him, he didn't care if the guards were staring, if anything, he enjoys it. To show everyone that he is yours to touch. "Mein schatz (my sweetheart)," his lips were hovering yours, you felt a little tingle at how close he was.

You know this shouldn't happen. You turned your away from his. You walked back, feeling his grasp letting go. He stared at you witch a smile on his face. You saw the smile he gave you.

When your shift ended and went back to your apartment, the thoughts of what happened lingered into your mind.

That night, you couldn't sleep. He was in your dreams. What if you never pulled way. Were you really going to kiss him. You glazed over the parts where he touched you.

You searched the words he said to you to translate it. Sweetheart, darling, mine.

You felt the butterflies in your stomach again. You never felt so complicated before.

Having a crush on a patient.

You have a crush on König.

[squiddy-god]

Makes you look stupid

Ratio x reader

I love him your honor- Dr ratio the man that you are *dreamy sigh* anyways this is smth I wrote because I love him and had this idea in my head for a while

Cw : reader is ratios assistant, enemies to lovers but it's really not, ratio refusing to admit he's kinda a simp, kissy kissy smooch smooch 💋

♥︎REQUEST ARE OPEN♥︎ don't be shy, send request for any of the fandoms on my fandom list, you can even recommend shows/games if they aren't there. Or even if you just want to chat! Anon is also always open!

Insufferable, detestable, intolerable, the very definition of aggravating is what you were in the vast expanse of veritas ratio’s mind. The man who seemingly knew everything was for once stumped to a single question- why in the world did he keep you around? The ugly truth of the matter being that perhaps as the problem persists day after day, that he is the problem. Arguing, bickering, snipping at one another like two rabid dogs until you both inevitably both storm off or realize you had both come to the same conclusion 34 snide comments ago. Idiocy, something only a nanometer short of straight loonacy is what the doctor compared you too, and yet with every argument, debate, and quorall he would return, asking your opinion as his assistant. What's more he never fired you, claiming that despite your lacking and many blatant flaws, none of which he could list besides his near constant headache, you were the most adequate in his eyes to be his assistant. In a sea of idiots so vast he feared its depths, you were an island. Competent, capable, sensible. So you stuck together, knowing even in his anger that this was not a chance he could forsake- and you knowing that even though his words were harsh, they were not necessarily all meant.

His students quite frankly wonder themselves why you haven't quit, “divorced him” they say, remarking on the bickering. You did like the Dr. for all his many flaws, of which you can only sight your near constant headache, he was brilliant, for all of his eccentricities, he held in equal parts an unquenchable thirst for knowledge, genius, maverick, The Doctor veritas ratio. Deep down there was a part of you that wanted to hear him on the rare occasion he had nothing but praise to sing, even with his harsh criticism you knew he held you in high esteem- “the worst part about idiocy is that you cannot explain it to an idiot” well he had no problem explaining it to you, so clearly he didn't mean half of the words he said. The job was also easy enough, though you have heard that you have far more duties than any other aid or assistant. Grading papers under his eagle eyed supervision to ensure you weren't too lenient, answering questions when he felt as though the students needed an example of someone not entirely moronic, passing out papers, printing, hading work back, running back and forth between the library, his class, and his office, most astonishingly however was that on the exceptionally rare occasion that he was absent from his lectures, you were to be the only one permitted to substitute. A thick heavy binder of information to cover and detailed instructions made the process fairly easy, although when the others gaze appon the monstrosity of a codex they go pale. It could also be said that the bickering and arguments were almost entertaining if they didn't boil your blood. The slight cracks in the doctor's elegantly crafted mask, and even better the twitch of his brow and vein popping in his forehead when the mask was off. 

“Oh?And I won't find it short one paper? Or that one has missed being graded by your astute eyes?” his voice is dripping in sarcasm that makes your blood run hot and bitter. “That was a small one time mistake, must you continue to bring it up?” hmmm, he didn't like when you clench your jaw so hard you speak through gritted teeth, he much preferred when you were relaxed, lips slightly parted in a sigh- why his thoughts turn to this he hadn't a clue. A lie he told himself. Really he knew, and it infuriated him, it had kept him awake the night before. He had kept himself awake actually, all so that he could avoid the dreams that plagued his racing mind, of you, of the way you walk, the length of your stride and how your mind was just so…so…intriguing to him. Arguments sparked out of his pride holding him back from simply picking your brain apart like a normal person would- with questions and conversation. Even now as your jaw clenched and eye twitched he wanted to smooth the hard lines of annoyance into something softer. It aggravated him, the fleeting touches, the rare moments of calm and peace, the times he would give in and simply talk without the unneeded critique, how the one thing he didn't want to think about, to analyze, would not leave his mind.

“Perhaps if you would focus instead of dodling around like some lost stupid puppy I wouldn't have any shortcomings to point out and yet-” you cut him off just as quickly as he retorts.  “oh Aeons spare me the lecture- maybe the reason you can't take your head out of your ass is because its so over inflated-” 

Today had been exhausting, the constant back and forth coupled with how the good Dr. ratio seemed to have woken up in the most perplexing mood that had your mind reeling. Was he in a bad mood? A good one? You honestly couldn't tell and the stone face he wore was not helping. One paper short passing out an assignment? A scolding remark on your inability to focus. Trying to reach a book he had requested from the upper shelves? A gentle hand ghosting on your waist as he grabs it himself before sitting down again. Another invitation to a chess game you know you will lose? A silence devoid of his usual commentary about your lack of strategy. “Here, they are all graded-and yes i made sure to follow your guide lines” you say answering his question before he can even ask it.

“Already out of arguments? Resorting to such crude remarks like a simpleton- to believe i worry over you” you scoff leaning on your palm to lean closer to where he sits in his office chair. “Oh such a saint- you are capable of feeling- oh look at me, dr ratio i just can do anything” you mock as your eye twitches, the smug satisfaction on his face as he looks you over only goading you. “To think this fool is what I lose my sleep to- no, correction, I can't think. because you don't think- you are as incapable of complex thought as an apple- in fact” he leans in as if to mock you further, but his eyes don't mean it, too focused on other things then the mockery you have made of him. 

“Why you arrogant self absorbed prick- if you are losing sleep wondering about how to provoke me further then you are a fool- gah! You are so impossible!” his hand flys up to grab your jaw in a firm but non painful grip “i would watch it, afterall i don't see any fool here but you” his anger is rising, annoyance and this maddaning aggravation you pester him with swimming in his eyes barley distracting from the fact that for the past 5 minutes of your little spat, his eyes have been firmly locked to your lips. You smirk, unable to resist aggravating him even more you grab his wrist, hands barely managing to connect at the fingertips, “oh ho if i didn't know any better i'd say you’d caught feeling” you don't miss the way his eyes widen slightly, that stone faced smirk wavering for a fraction of a second. “Look at you veritas~ you wanna kiss me so bad it makes you look stupid” he couldn't decide which he was feeling more of, rage that you were right- that he did want to kiss you and that it was making him look stupid, or rage that you had the nerve to call him of all people a stupid fool.

Your eyes widened, body jerking forward slightly as his hand swiftly went from squishing your face to cradling the back of your neck, bringing you forward until you felt the softness of his lips against yours. The kiss was hungry, as if he wanted to steal the air from your lungs, his teeth biting your bottom lip only to pull away when your mouth parted slightly to allow what he wanted. “Now who is the one who looks stupid” aeons did he look proud of himself, smug haughty satisfaction plastered on his face as if it had been carved there. His arms retracted to fold crossed against his broad chest. Meanwhile you stood leaned over, shell shocked with your mouth open in surprise. Speechless. “I rather like you this way, too stunned by your own stupid game to speak. Perhaps I will have to do this more often.” 

“Oooooo~ so you still wanna kiss me soooo bad~big bad dr ratio has a little crush like a idiot~” you tease leaning in to pester him, draping your arm over his shoulder and poking his cheek. 

His brow twitched, the corner of his mouth pulling into an annoyed smirk as he contemplated kicking you out of his office, but you both knew he wasn't going to do that. 

[cloudy-em]

Hi there! I got a request for Lip, if you don't mind 🥺

Reader is friends with either Fiona or Ian (she's the same age as Lip though), and one evening, she's dragged to the house for dinner (she's also very shy, very), so they meet and he just can't help but flirt constantly to make her blush and stutter.

And maybe later on, he hears her talking to Fiona/Ian about it, saying something like not keeping her hopes up because she can't believe he could actually like her ("no one likes the shy girl" kinda thing, I had that said to me and I need some comfort for it😂).

He basically wants to prove to her that he actually likes her. Maybe he already noticed her st school or something.

Have a good day, hun 🤘

of course!! glad to provide some comfort <3 i was the same way all from like elementary to high school so i get it! have a great day, too, thanks for the request <3

ages are pretty inconsistent in the show, but i think in season 3 he's like 18? i don't write characters when they're minors, so the reader and lip are both 18 years old and they're seniors in this! so this is set in like season 3ish i guess.

xxxxxxxxx

Ian and Y/N walked through the front door of the Gallagher household. Y/N took her shoes off, following Ian to his room where they dropped off their backpacks. Even though they aren't in the same grade, they're still great friends. It started when Ian found Y/N at school one day, trying to hold herself together after being made fun of for her quiet response to a teacher's question that she had to repeat multiple times. It turned out, Ian and Y/N actually had a lot in common, and the rest was history.

Y/N wasn't over at Ian's house often. The loud and chaotic nature of his family was endearing, but she didn't quite feel comfortable enough with the other Gallaghers yet to let her walls down. Not that she was ever as loud or chaotic as the family; she was just on the quieter, shyer side, and the Gallaghers respected that.

Ian had invited Y/N over for dinner, making sure Fiona was aware. Ian and Y/N both helped her with dinner, Y/N smiling quietly to herself as Ian and Fiona laughed and joked together. They set the table, and Fiona yelled up to the rest of the family to come eat.

Frank was god knows where doing god knows what, and Kev and V were busy at the alibi, so it was just Y/N and the Gallagher kids for the night. Debbie and Carl came barreling down the stairs leaving an empty seat between them because the two had recently been arguing. Lip walked down the stairs, Liam in his arms, and helped Liam get into a high chair. He sat between Carl and Debbie, clearly sick of their argument, and sighed. Y/N was stationed between Ian and Fiona, the two she was most comfortable with. Food was distributed and everyone tried to make dinner conversation.

Y/N looked at Debbie politely as she talked about a student counsel project she was working on, trying to plan out how perfect and showstopping it would be. She smiled hearing the girl's plan; it sounded great and she had no doubt Debbie could do it. Glancing towards Lip, she noticed him watching her instead of his younger sister. There's a pause, and Lip grabs her attention.

"You look really pretty today, Y/N," he says genuinely. In response, she blushes and looks towards her lap, mumbling a thank you. Lip opens his mouth, ready to say something else, when Carl pipes up.

"Yeah! You look just like the Barbie I put on the grill earlier!" He exclaims before backtracking. "Well, you look like her before I put her on the grill. And I wouldn't grill you, you're too nice." Y/N smiled and tried not to laugh at the young boy's antics as Fiona lectured him about cruel and unusual punishment. Lip kept staring at Y/N, completely mesmerized by her shy and gentle nature. He was wracking his brain on what to say next; he didn't want to try stupid or sexual pickup lines on her. He wanted to take his time with her. He'd noticed her in his literature class in school, they both sat at the back, but on opposite sides of the room. Ian was about to kick Lip under the table for his weird behavior, knowing Y/N would be uncomfortable, but Fiona beat him to it.

"Lip, it's rude to stare, especially at our guest."

Hearing his name brought him back, and he cleared his throat. "Um, Y/N? You have Mr Harbor for Physics II, right?" he asked, curious.

"Yes, 4th period," she replied quietly. Lip smiled hearing her voice, wanting to hear it more often.

"Oh great! I have him for 6th. Do you wanna come over sometime and study together? We can work through some problems if you want, maybe do some physical experiments-" he's cut off by Carl.

"Gross, Lip, you don't propose sex in front of the family!" he yells. Lip's eyes widen.

"Oh, jesus! No no I wasn't- Y/N that's not what I meant, I- I meant just calculating projectiles with a slingshot or something, not- not THAT!" he tries to explain desperately. He really did just mean doing problems and experiments together. They're both very intelligent people, and Lip thought it was a good proposition for a subtle excuse to get to know her.

"I-it's okay, Lip, n-no worries!" Y/N felt her face and neck flush. she knew he didn't mean sex, but the idea of it made her blush. Of course she'd heard plenty of rumors around school about how good Lip Gallagher was in bed.

The meal was done pretty quickly. The family all got up, Y/N waiting until most of them left to bring her plate to the sink.

"I'll take care of the dishes, Y/N," Lip said, gently placing his hand on the small of her back. She jumped slightly, moving out of the way and nodding, heading upstairs to finish her homework. Ian follows shortly after.

Lip walked up the stairs to grab a cigarette from his desk, but paused as he caught his name.

"-and it's nice to hope for just a second that maybe, just maybe, he likes me, that he cares for me, but he doesn't, Ian! There's no way someone like Lip would ever like someone like me! He's confident and attractive and smart and girls love him! I'm just me. I'm shy and quiet and it takes me forever to warm up to people and nobody likes the shy girl," she sighed sadly. "You don't think he's trying to prank me or something, do you?" she asked Ian. Lip walked away, not realizing she felt this way.

He had to do something. He went back down the stairs, no longer set on his cigarette, rather a way to prove himself to her. He thought hard for a while, realizing it was probably just best to talk her alone. He sighed, thinking of what to say without fucking up.

Lip heard Ian yell goodbye to Y/N, and her footsteps walking towards the front door. He ran towards the front door, trying to be casual.

"Hey, I'll walk you home. Make sure you get home safe," he said, sounding more like he was making a statement rather than offering.

"Oh, um, okay. Let's go then," Y/N replied.

The walk to her house was quiet. Lip didn't know what to say. 'Hey, I've been watching you at school for the past 3 months and I haven't hooked up with anybody since I noticed you because you're all I can think about even though we've barely ever talked'? He knew he needed to say that, he just needed to find a less...aggressive way of saying it.

He walked Y/N to her door, making sure she got it unlocked. He reached out and touched her arm just as she turned to enter her house. She turned to look at him with big eyes.

"Look, Y/N. I, uh, I've noticed you at school a lot over the past couple of months, and I know you're my brother's friend, but I'd really like to get to know you better. I think you're really, really smart and you're pretty, too, and Ian talks about you all the time. You just sound like a great person and I think I have a small crush on you. I know you probably don't feel the same, but if you'd give me a chance, I think we'll get along great and we can get to know each other. Please?" He poured his heart out.

Y/N hesitated, a soft blush rising to her cheeks. "I- okay, Lip. We can get to know each other. I'm just nervous and really shy around people I don't know so I'm sorry-" he cuts her off.

"That's why we'll know each other, 'kay?" he said, gently stroking her upper arm with his thumb.

"Besides, I like shy girls."

xxxxxxx

lip x shy!reader is one of my favs thank you so much for this request! let me know if you want more of this kind of content please!

[thewertsearch]

We're got a couple of assorted asks about quadrant dynamics here. Since they're all related, I'll answer them as a single post.

@galaxa-13 asked: I personally never saw Feferi being annoyed by Eridan talking about feelings with Karkat because he was only supposed to talk about them with her, but rather because he ONLY talked about them with Karkat. She had to do all the heavy lifting in their relationship by making sure he didn't commit genocide, and then didn't get to unwind with some romantic gossip. If my platonic boyfriend never talked to me, but did with others, I'd question him too. @lilietsblog asked: I never read Feferi as being jealous of Karkat in a violating relationship exclusivity / cheating on her way. I read it as a playful "why aren't you talking about stuff with me? is it because you've already talked it all out?" where Eridan was very much supposed to read between the lines and undersatnd that she just wanted him to tell her about his red crushes (awkward, that…) While I'm sure there are specific rituals trolls /only/ do with their moirails, my overall impression is that trolls normally just… don't form relationships close and trusting enough for emotional support like that. The quadrants help by making it semi-mandatory to find SOMEONE. (Also I'm actually sure that a healthy moirallegiance would be reciprocal with both partners pacifying each other, it's just the hemospectrum version of gender roles)

You may have a point. Eridan was clearly a poor moirail from the start - probably because he never actually wanted to be Feferi's moirail. To him, the quadrant was clearly just a stepping stone to matespritship, so he wasn't invested in its dynamics. Feferi's not really angry about Karkat, here - she's just a little frustrated about how one-sided their moirallegence has turned out to be.

That said, I do still believe that quadrants would work better if they were polyamorous - even if this particular scenario doesn't illustrate my point as well as I thought it did.

@morganwick asked: I mean, some would argue that placing undue emphasis on monogamy beyond what's actually healthy or natural is true of human romance as well. But part of what might be going on here is that on Alternia, it's not a good idea to let knowledge of your fears, doubts, and weaknesses spread too far, lest it mark you for culling. Best to vent to a single person who won't tell another soul. (See also how Vriska is saying things to John she wouldn't tell any other troll.) @bladekindeyewear asked: "At the end of the day, I do think moirallegiance is a good idea. I just don’t think it really works if moirails can’t be poly." What if they CAN be? People with naturally polyamorous inclinations are few and marginalized on present-day Earth, and Alternian society seems set up to STOMP OUT the marginalized. Quadrants certainly exist, but how much of their rigidity and the pervasive troll view that you only have "one true fated partner(s)" for each quadrant might just be cultural?

I think a monogamous system of moirallegence is probably all that Alternia could handle. Sustaining a polyamorous quadrant system would require a level of emotional maturity that the average troll simply isn't going to have - and, like you said, it might be dangerous to widen your circle more than is actually necessary.

I still think the trolls would benefit from such a system, though. On Alternia, it simply wasn't to be - but the Alternian Players now have the chance to build an entirely new culture. Who knows what new dynamics they might discover?

@lilietsblog asked: I don't think Hussie "jumped the gun". I think Hussie was messing around with the very idea of "what romance should be like". Trolls don't care about what gender their partners are, and have a different system of confusing rigid rules that no two people understand quite the same and that don't work out in practice that way anyway, instead. The quadrant system was never intended to be a serious worldbuilding project any more than Troll Will Smith

See, I get what you're saying - but the difference, in my opinion, is that that Troll Will Smith was a one-panel joke, whereas the quadrant system has informed our understanding of troll relationships for the entirety of Act 5. Unlike Will, quadrants have stayed relevant, and they've been critical to understanding many of the Alternians' key character moments.

That's not to say that quadrants aren't partially a joke. Frankly, I don't think any of Homestuck is entirely serious - but I do think quadrants are 'real' in the context of the story, and should be analyzed as a legitimate part of its world.

@bladekindeyewear asked: One last bout moirails-- Andrew in his asks has said that the idea behind each of the Quadrants IS supposed to match up with real human relationship and friend dynamics we already understand, making them relatable but w/ a romantic drive that isn't quite human-analogous. Trolls biologically compelled to enter them before understanding them, a challenge "particularly tortuous for young trolls" (p2393), plus the 600 hour session makes sense of Eq/Nep's relationship's drastic evolution to me.

I've always been a little skeptical about this whole 'biological drive' angle for the quadrants - mostly because there are plenty of human biological drives that are either overstated, misinterpreted, or outright fabricated.

That's not to say that the trolls don't have some sort of compulsion to seek out quadrants. If it does exist, though, I hope it slowly fades, now that the trolls have left their planet and its expectations behind.

[ironsoftie]

Once Odysseus is back home. When everything's settled down and he's able to find some semblance of normalcy… Have you thought about how he fares back on Ithaca? Because I have. How some days are so light and easy yet others feel like trying to tread water in a storm-tossed sea.

Maybe you’ve thought of a moment where Odysseus and Telemachus are outside sparring, and Telemachus lands a really good hit? Odysseus laughs off Telemachus’s concerns, clutching his now bruised shoulder, and turns his head to joke that his son would be a better fighter than Eurylochus soon. Instead though, his words taper off and his eyes go slightly unfocused when he realizes the tall, broad-shouldered friend he half expected to see isn't standing there laughing along with him. Where for a split second, Odysseus could swear he smells acrid ozone despite the sky above them being clear and bright?

Or maybe it was a time when Odysseus had been walking with Penelope in one of the markets across Ithaca, only to catch a passing glimpse of a mop of chestnut-colored curls precariously held up by a red band ahead of him? When, for an unending second, his muscles lock in place and the air in his lungs freezes. That is, until the man in front of him turns his head and sorrow comes crashing back down into his bones like a rouge wave. It wasn't the warm and familiar smile of his dear friend Polites greeting him, but that of a stranger.

Maybe it was one of the times where Odysseus finds himself walking the halls of his palace aimlessly, and his eyes find one specific spot on the floor. The same spot where his mother, Anticlea, had once taken a very young Odysseus into her arms to comfort him after he’d taken an unfortunate tumble and broken the skin on the palms of his hands and knees. Stones that had been scrubbed clean of his blood then, only to have been stained afresh with the blood spilled from one of Penelope’s suitors upon his tumultuous return to Ithaca.

Perhaps there was even a time or two where Athena had begged Hypnos to help her friend rest easy after yet another night of Odysseus jolting awake with the same prayers for her aid stumbling their way off of his trembling lips. As if he was still trapped on that island. The island where his desperate prayers for her aid had been able to go no further from its pristine shores than he himself could.

Do you think Odysseus has moments where he cannot quite quell the discomfort in the disconnect of actually being safe and home within himself? After all, he'd argue, how could he when the loss of his men- his friends- still weigh on his mind and body like the Earth weighs on Atlas's shoulders. How could he while the parts of himself he lost, gave up, and had taken from him were scattered across caves, across the underworld, and across so many islands he could almost loose count if not for what had transpired on them? When, sometimes, he doesn’t quite feel fully himself, and wonders if perhaps he was starting to follow in his father’s footsteps.

Moments where everything weighs so heavily upon him that he feels as if all he can do is sit on his balcony and look out across the waves on the horizon. A sight that once brought him such comfort, now only acting as a reminder of what he had done and gone through while sailing its waters.

Or maybe you've thought of something else entirely. Of how Telemachus would fill the quiet that falls between them when his father’s gaze goes distant. Where he begins to share stories from his own childhood until Odysseus’s eyes are clear and focused raptly on him as he speaks so as to not miss a single moment of the tale?

Where all it takes Penelope's hand brushing his hair back from his face as she hums and holds him securely in her arms for the voices of those who aren't there anymore to gently fade to murmurs in the back of his mind? Where she weaves, and he sits nearby and works. Sometimes pausing just watching her hands dance skillfully across the loom, letting the rhythmic sounds relax him.

Where he finds himself tucking the hair behind her ear gently after catching Penelope staring at him as if she also couldn’t fully comprehend that he is back. Or maybe you’ve thought of times during meetings with visitors to their kingdom where he gets lost in thought so Penelope silently snakes her arm around his and clasps his hand in her own to bring him back to himself subtly enough so as to not alert their guests.

How Athena might sometimes fly past the couple's balcony after Odysseus has had a particularly rough day. Where, landing, she’d rest her wings and perch on the balcony’s hand rail just outside of their bedroom, clearly in his line of sight. And there she’d wait to hear Odysseus's sigh as he finally relaxes into the bed below him. How Athena, goddess of wisdom and war, would keep watch and ensure his family’s safety. He didn’t have to be on guard when he was attempting to try and rest. He could trust her to rouse him if he was needed. Of course, she would simply ensure he was never needed on those nights.

Or perhaps you've thought of the times where Odysseus can simply relax and laugh freely with his family. Where he looks at them and finds peace in their smiles and in the familiar halls and rooms of his palace. Where the sea breeze refreshes his mind as he walks around his island. Where he finds himself fondly remembering those that were lost on the journey home, and doesn’t find guilt smothering him for simply thinking of them. Where he stops questioning if this was yet another dream that he’d wake up from once he opened his eyes next.

Where he reaches out and cradles Penelope's face in his calloused and scarred hands, and the soft warmth of her skin and weight of her hands landing on his forearms to simply hold him back settles something fragile in him like balm on a burn he hadn’t known he’d received in the first place.

Maybe it was the first time Telemachus calls him father and Odysseus knows he means it and wasn’t just using the word as a formality. When Odysseus stops being the unreachable legend he was built up to be, and becomes a man and then a father in his son’s eyes.

Where he feels the familiar rush of Athena's approval in his mind after using a particularly good turn of phrase to secure more resources in a trade deal, and can finally accept that he actually has her blessing and favor again.

He doesn't forget all the bad that has happened, but he finds ways to live more in the present than the past that sometimes haunts him.

He struggles. Of course he does. There’s so much that he still deals with; but having Penelope, Telemachus, and Athena around is enough to get through even the worst of days. Healing is slow, yes. But he heals all the same. They all do.

[twistedwonderlandshenanigans]

TWST Cast - Fidgets/Stims/Self-Regulation

I needed something simple to write to feel like I'm. we're not actually gonna get into that, anyways, enjoy.

TW: Some of these are NOT healthy/borderline SH, but there's nothing graphic, it's just some folks don't know What's Wrong and only know how to make themselves focus via some sort of (minor) physical pain.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Heartslaybul

Riddle - had to mask around his mother, said his stims (bouncing his leg, and kinda just. shaking his pen? you know what I mean, like between two fingers and you just let it bounce?) made him look mentally unwell (🙄), unruly and undisciplined. Totally not projecting At All So he rarely stims in public when he's trying to focus, though during testing periods and in the safety of his own room he tends to let himself (subconsciously) stim. He also chews on his bottom lip a lot, but not enough that it was ever noticed by his mother. (Floyd gifts him a fidget ring sometime in the future and he's surprised at how well it works for him) He also loves compression but has yet to discover it.

Trey - He doesn't stim a whole lot, but even in game we know that he tends to touch/readjust his glasses when he feels awkward/about to join a conversation or make a point he's being a bit of a smart alec about. Usually when he's really stressed, (which takes quite a bit to get him there), he'll excessively wash his hands with cold water.

Cater - has a lot of caffeine, so for the most part, his impulses to stim aren't there. That being said, when anxiety comes to kick him in the butt, usually just listening to music and tapping out the rhythm of the guitar with his finger against his thigh is enough to help him out, usually while keeping the beat by tapping his foot or bobbing his head at the same time. (usually some soft rock or pop music) When he's REALLY like. needs to get emotions out but can't because he doesn't like being vulnerable he makes himself eat unbearably hot (spicy) food and insists that he likes it even as he is Crying and Sniffling because. then he can write it off to the spice and not the fact he's dying inside. (Don't do this please sdlkjfhlksdjf) Sometimes he also stims by making popping noises, but he doesn't even recognize that he does this, because usually it's just when it's him and Trey in the room, and Trey isn't bothered by it. "Like" and "Really" are both stim words for him too.

Deuce - He's still learning to self-regulate! He knows that shouting helps him get everything out, but in the moment he sometimes struggles. He's still trying out different techniques. As for stims/fidgets Deuce doesn't really have any? Well he does, but he doesn't act on them when he needs to focus since One Incident early on in life when he found out that his fidgets make noise (he's deaf as a part of my HC and didn't get hearing aids until he was like 5-6) and he hates to be a bother to anyone else. On top of that, I think he has a slight auditory processing disorder, so he has a tendency to repeat things back to people, just to make sure he's understood correctly once his brain has caught up to their words. He doesn't know it yet, but compression will help him Calm Down when needed.

Ace - Whistling/noise imitation in general, bouncing his leg, pen tapping, etc. this guy has ADHD but thank the Seven for his older brother who was patient and gentle with him when he was younger. When Ace struggles to focus, he tends to just shuffle a deck of cards, he likes the way they feel. In the rare occasion that he chooses to study, he usually does so while shuffling the cards/practicing a magic trick at the same time because the Physical task during the Mental task makes the Mental task more interesting. He also uses music as a means of self-regulation. (Usually classic rock).

Savannaclaw

Leona - His emotional regulation is out to lunch and the closest he gets to stimming is his tail flicking. It could be argued that the feeling of his blankets is Nice To Him but idk man. Catnip helps with regulation? Idk. Sure.

Ruggie - Idk are we counting his tail wagging as a stim? technically it could be considered one, right, it's a subconscious physical response to happiness? Ruggie also tends to chew on his lip when he's focusing, but his teeth are sharper than Riddle's so it often draws blood and he rarely notices. Sometimes he's kinda hit with just a Wave of what the fuck am I doing with my life? and just needs to rub something soft (Usually Leona's laundry bc it's more luxurious than anyone else's), a little bit to try and recenter himself. If that doesn't work he just tries to work himself to a point of exhaustion so he can ignore the Bad Feelings. This rarely works and he ends up calling his grandma by the end of it just to ask her to leave the phone on speaker so he can hear the chaos and rough and tumble of home. At the end of the phone call his grandma sings to him bc she knows full well what's going on and the sense of familiarity is enough to help Ruggie feel less restless. This boy also loves compression. Also, rolling with the idea that he got to keep the trumpet from the port fest event and started teaching it to himself, during the day/when he's bored he practices tonguing+breathing excercises/patterns (don't be weird about this I stg) or buzzing with or without his mouth piece. Also chews on his nails a lot. I feel like eventually someone gifts him one of those chew necklaces and he loves it but his bite force accidentally damages it much sooner than it should have been so then that same person gets one commissioned specifically to withstand a hyena's bite force and it's the best gift he'll have ever gotten (besides a wad of cash but yknow)

Jack - I mean besides his tail wagging...there isn't much else? For emotional regulation, he tends to just go running if he needs something to focus on. Music also helps sometimes, but it's specifically classical and he just sits in bed and listens to it in his comfiest clothes bc. unlike SOME people he will listen to his body and mind and rest when necessary.

Octavinelle

Azul - Him? Stim? Never. /J He masks a lot mostly because he knows that stimming can come off as anxious, and that's the last thing he wants when he's trying to be convincing to someone else, or really, in front of the twins. That being said, alone in his office he twirls his pen a lot, and late nights/Anxiety Times leads to him tugging on that strand of hair that's longer than the rest as a means of staying focused and in the moment. He thinks he can't be vulnerable in front of the twins but honestly they pick up on his anxiety so easily, they both know compression helps him out. Jade is generally touch repulsed, so usually Floyd takes it upon himself to Flop on Azul's back while he's working. Azul will sometimes imitate playing chords on the piano, on his desk for the same reason Ace plays with cards. He also finds himself stress eating sometimes which does nothing good for his self-esteem.

Jade - Also Masks A Lot. It would take someone he trusts even more than his own twin that would ever get to see him act on his impulses. Otherwise we would see Jade with the happy flappies (though I feel like he would keep his hands in fists instead). However, when things are Bad, Jade does one of two things, both of which are done in a locked bathroom. 1. Fill the sink with cold water and dunk his head in without switching to his mer form. 2. Rolls up his sleeves and bites himself. Just once is usually enough to get him out of it. He also finds the whole. Cleaning out the wound and wrapping himself pretty relaxing. He has not considered just using a tensor bandage yet to self regulate, eventually Floyd will find out wtf he's doing and suggest That instead. Jade will sometimes unmask just enough to rock slightly side to side or back and forth/up on his tiptoes and back down bc he can make it fit with his whole 'I'm innocent baby' kinda facade he pulls sometimes sdlkfjhslkdjf Also tends to need a completely silence space when he's overstimulated.

Floyd -WHOOOOOWEEE babes you already know he is STIM central WHOOT WHOOT he's got the happy flappies, he's got the leg bouncy, he's got the clicky pen, he's got the 'I gotta touch something squishy' need, etc. etc. HOWEVER sometimes he's got the Bad Stims, like he cannot focus on anything, nothing is being retained, he feels over and understimulated at the same time, nothing feels Good, he doesn't feel hungry, he wants Nothing to do with anyone, his leg is bouncing, he's kinda just stabbing his pencil repeatedly into the table and he KNOWS he should focus but just can't- and then Lilia introduces him to metal music and it's like Wow. Everything is better. It has to be blasting, but now Floyd has a means of dealing with That Feeling whenever it rolls around. Also it HAS to be over the ear headphones because of the compression and Friendly Squishy Texture of the parts that cover his ears. Makes him feel better in less than ten minutes, it's a win-win for everyone except he can never remember the name of the band, so he almost always tracks down Lilia to demand (ask) for a reminder and Lilia just almost always has his headphones and phone on hand so just Gives them to Floyd while he goes through Floyd's phone and curates a playlist for him and finds his exact headphones on the equivalent of Amazon so Floyd can order them. Floyd in general, when listening to music, tends to imitate whatever his favourite part of the song is, whether it's the bass line, guitar, drums, keyboard, lyrics, etc. and will switch between various parts as he sees fit. This also means it's not uncommon to hear Floyd essentially beatboxing as a stim method as well. Floyd also snaps his fingers a lot, he likes spinning things on his fingers (be it as innocent as a key chain or dangerous as scissors), and also imitates people a lot. He doesn't always intend to, but like. If he is talking to someone with an accent, he accidentally IMMEDIATELY takes on that accent and finds it funny because he literally can't stop himself. Idk if anyone else has this issue but dear god as someone more anxious than Floyd this has lead to a lot of awkward situations for me bc I have to CONSCIOUSLY not speak in whatever accent my brain is trying to make me take on.

Scarabia

Kalim - ALSO stim central, though his tend to be in response to happiness. He tends to parrot people a lot, beatboxes/makes noise, happy wiggles, snaps his fingers,lots of different kinds of taps, and has happy flappies. He has some. Not so good regulatory practices as well, but when he's overwhelmed he tends to rock back and forth, or ...like. Idk really how to describe it, but he taps his hand against his chest really fast, but it's like in a claw shape so after a few times it starts to hurt a little? because of his finger nails?? idk how else to describe it. He knows better than to do it in front of Jamil though. Music tends to overwhelm him when he's already overstimulated so he ends up putting headphones on just to try and block out the noise. White noise doesn't help, he just wants it to be as quiet as possible.

Jamil - Stims more than people realize, because his stims are naturally more subtle. When Kalim comes to 'bother' him in the kitchen, he keeps himself as focused and relaxed as possible by balancing on one foot at a time, to give himself something to think about besides the 'unwelcome' invasion. When he's studying, he flips his hood up and is constantly rubbing the fabric close to his face and has a bit of a leg bounce. He also uses music as a means of regulation, usually something with a lot of syncopation. Jamil also keeps his hand in a fist and bumps it against his side sometimes when he's trying to stay focused in a conversation.

Pomefiore

Vil - He doesn't really stim all that much, but on days he doesn't feel himself/bad anxiety/PTSD is getting to him, he washes his hands with burning hot water. He knows it's not good. And his hands are super sensitive afterwards. But it stops him from spiraling and that's all he needs. He takes care of them properly afterwards and will make sure to wear his gloves.

Rook - I kinda HC Rook with OCD. Most of his stims are his methods of coping with any sort of dirt or germs, perceived or otherwise. He hates not wearing his gloves, (of which he has different pairs for different Places), but in the event he can't have them on for whatever reason, or a task will be more efficiently done without them, he washes his hands until they're raw because then he can be sure that layer of skin that was in Contact isn't there. Rook regulates with scents a lot too, whether it be the perfume Neige/Vil uses or rooibos tea that his sister used to make for him.

Epel - Idk if gesticulation counts as stimming, but he does it a lot, just not in front of Vil dslkfjhksdjf. I feel like it's only really around Deuce that he feels comfortable doing his happy stomps, though for the hometown event he likely doesn't mask much so other people get to see it too. As much as Epel hates being called short, he likes the fact if he sits back far enough in his chair he can kick his feet without touching the floor sljdfhlksjd. He also tends to grind his teeth.

Ignihyde

Idia - He has SO MANY homemade fidgets but he gets tired of them really quickly so he ends up putting them in the scraps lab of Ignihyde. He likes clicking sounds a lot, (go figure /lh), and ASMR. In the (horrific) event he has to leave his room, usually he tries to keep his anxiety at bay via rubbing the ridges on his sweater, playing/rubbing at his hands/wrists in the pouch pocket of his sweater or rocking a bit, though he hates doing that bc it draws attention to him sometimes. If he does end up overstimulated in a Bad Way or anxious, he tends to pick at his lips/chew on his fingernails.

Ortho - Baby!! He tends to mimic other people's stims when they look fun! He does do happy trills/beeps now and then of his own volition and it's Adorable. He will also do them when he feels like cussing sldkfhlksjd Ortho also claps when he's happy, and if he has his boosters on might even do a little flip. As a treat. When he does need emotional regulation, he knows compression helps so he just asks big brother for a hug. 10/10.

Diasomnia

Malleus - Doesn't stim a whole lot...nor does he really emotionally regulate, though I feel like. For some reason he really likes (cloud) slime as a fidget. Like, he doesn't need it in order to regulate anything, but he finds the texture and sound pleasing. He does sometimes repeat other people to process information. I do think he would be more prone to stimming when he's more dragon than humanoid.

Lilia - Obviously uses music to regulate, bc he did it for Floyd, but he also uses his turning upside down and feeling all the blood rush to his head as a method of getting his brain out of a bad spot. Lilia does also have a chew necklace that he uses now and then, but other than that, he rarely gets overstimulated or needs a distraction. He just likes chewing sldjfhslkjdf he does help Sebek and Silver self regulate though

Silver - He doesn't stim a whole lot, but when he was younger he used to have a lot of nightmares. Usually Lilia would help him through it with breathing exercises, but if he was too panicked to focus on that he would get a few pieces of ice and wrap it in a cloth towel so as to protect him from it hurting. The cold would distract Silver enough to stop crying as hard, and then both Lilia and Silver would hold an ice cube in their hands until Silver didn't want to anymore and they could practice their breathing. Every now and then, Silver still goes to the freezer at night just to hold ice in both hands until he's calmed himself down from a particularly bad dream or anxiety just eating at him.

Sebek - Refuses to believe he stims. However, he acknowledges the ice trick does help him refocus when he finds that he isn't able to on his own. He doesn't realize he grinds his teeth or that staring at a fan actually helps him calm down. Also Lilia bought him a lava lamp and it also helps stop the overwhelming Feelings he has sometimes.

Others

Che'nya - picks at his skin a lot. He knows it's not good but he can't help it there are Textures There He Doesn't Want but also Feel Funny on his fingers. He tends to self-regulate simply by purring or scratching himself/getting someone else to scratch behind his ears. He also tends to put things in his mouth without much thought behind it. All his pencils have bite marks. He has probably eaten like 30 erasers by this point by accident. He also really likes smells, usually freshly baked bread to help regulate, which is why he sometimes comes to 'invade' Heartslaybul is just to chill in the kitchen while Trey bakes to help him tune out any bad feelings he has. Every once in a while, he'll use catnip to deal with anxiety, but Neige usually intervenes before then and like. Puts on one of those fish videos for cats. Che'nya loves them more than he would like to admit. He also carries a ball of yarn because he likes how soft it is and he can fidget with it when he needs to.

Jack T. - Almost the exact same stims as his little brother, but he masks a lot because he Had To when he was growing up. He's just glad that he was able to provide a space for Ace to be able to express himself the way he needed to.

Najma - She also stims in a fairly subtle way. She usually has a scarf on her that's a soft material that she rubs as a means of regulation, like some sort of silk, she likes the smooth texture. She has 10 hour versions of her favourite song, (whatever it may be) on her playlist. (Jamil does NOT understand this whatsoever, how Najma can stand to listen to something that long does not make sense to him sdlfhlkjsf) She also has a hand cream she carries with her everywhere because she likes the smell of it.

Neige - He has a lot of anxious bouts and PTSD that he can usually mask, but he's almost always rubbing his wrist gently, humming, singing or whistling. He kinda figures if he's always making a noise of some kind, nobody will pick up on what lies underneath. When he does have a full blown panic attack, he has breathing exercises he works through that work for him. He also journals a lot.

Extra

Vizzie - Rubs her wrist where her vambrace ends, tugs at her hair when she's borderline dissociative to help keep her in the present, and when she's really feeling. not great? She eats ice with salt on it. It's the burning sensation that helps her focus on Just That and nothing else. Once Cater introduces her to caffeine as a stimulant it does help with a lot of her ADHD-like tendencies, but listening to music with over the ear headphones helps too. When she doesn't want to. you know. punish herself with salted ice, she just has Ice but she has to let it sit until it's the Right Texture. And you might be like. Hey. This sounds like an amalgamation of A Lot of things from above. Guess what babyyyy most of those stims ^^^ are things I do too. And Vizzie is basically. An AU version of myself. Guess what I was doing that made me wanna write this post? slkdjfhslkjdf that's right doing a shitty job at self regulation but hey, writing it out made me Feel Better WOOOO yeah Later on in the Canon story she ends up being more comfortable showing happy stims. When she's listening to music, she often ends up doing the same thing as Cater with the rhythms of the guitar line being tapped out. (bc I gave him my stim wooo I'm taking it back for her lsdkjfhlksjdf)

Anyways. I'm surprised I finished this in one sitting. Must be the caffeine.

Taglist: (lmk if you wanna hop on)

@fluffle-writes @my-cursed-brain

[eldewinddolly]

🦎 Half-goblin Holly backstory headcanons 🦎 (including some more general goblins headcanons because actual canon is *not it*) (very long post ahead, but I felt it was due time to expand the lore of my beloved half-goblin Holly) - Her dad's name is Lezzare. Holly was very close to him as a youngling ; he used to affectionately call her "B'wa-biba" (darling sparkle) - He made all her childhood clothes himself, as per the goblin tradition of mending : goblins love to patchwork their clothes with visible stitches, and fabrics passed down in the family from generation to generation - to allude to how their skin shed naturally and symbolise the love and protection of the family allowing them to grow. This tradition is mostly seen as an excuse for poor craftsfaeship compared to the more sophisticated, gold-thread embedded clothing of the elves and centaurs, but many goblins are actually very skilled at sewing. - He and Coral met at the university, at a marine biology class - Coral attended as a student and Lezzare as an auditor (goblins basically aren't allowed to pursue higher education in Haven because they are deemed too stupid) - Lezzare was an activist fighting for goblins' rights, and advocating for a demilitarised Haven (arguing that the People should only defend themselves against mud people as a united front, and not further the divides between the fairy families according to the "nobler" elven values and morals). - Even though he was a pacifist, he was sent to Howler's Peak after a mass arrestation following a deadly terrorist attack, when Holly was still quite young. Coral joined LEPMarine and moved to Atlantis with baby Holly so they could go visit Lezzare more easily. - Holly still loved her dad, but the stigma of being a goblin hybrid and her dad being in prison slowly started to take a toll on her ; especially since Coral was gone working most of the time, and Holly spent a lot of days with various LEP officers both being very dismissive of her and her father, and encouraging her to join the LEP like her mom. - When Coral died, Lezzare was allowed to attend the funeral, which absolutely didn't sit well with Coral's family who hated him and disapproved heavily of their daughter's relationship with a goblin. At the funeral, Lezzare started performing a goblin fire grieving ritual which was interpreted as an aggression attempt, causing an absolute riot between him and Coral's family and LEP coworkers, with Holly torn in the middle. - Holly was extremely mad for a very long time at her father for ruining her mother's funeral. Lezzare was also really upset that she chose to join the LEPrecon after everything they did to their kind. - I believe they were strictly no contact since, and for at least the first three books. But after meeting Artemis, and the B'wa Kell rebellion, Holly starts to see things a bit more differently, and a bit less black and white. Julius' death, then the events of The Opal Deception leaving her out of the LEP and more isolated than ever, as "the goblin LEP experiment that ended up being a murdering failure like every other goblin ever is", really changed her entire perspective. - Now she sees her dad more often ; mending their relationship takes time but they find things to bond over, and it gets better 🧡 ... That's it for now ! Please tell me what you think about all this ! Also, I've started working on a feature film two weeks ago that's why this piece took forever to finish ; even though I'm really done with it, and I think I could have done better with the color palette (too same toney imo), I'm pretty happy with how vibrant it globally turned out. And I'm also quite happy with Lezzare's face 💚

[anxiousgaypanicking]

Fucking Machine

Loceit (Logan x Janus) Kinktober 2023 Day Ten: Fucking Machine Warnings: robot porn, wire play, electrocution, overstimulation, premature ejaculation, grinding

"Forgive me if I don't exactly trust you to check my hardware," Logan states, as Janus leads him through the house and up a flight of stairs. "Typically, I run an analysis on myself, and - if I need human assistance - I ask Virgil. You, on the other hand, have never been that... mindful of technology." 

Janus shrugs off Logan's concerns. "I'm more trustworthy when it comes to technology than Patton." 

"That's not hard to accomplish," Logan refutes, as Janus guides them into Logan's own bedroom. It's decorated to look human, but the metal table donned with a singular pillow clashes with the dresser, closet, and framed photos quite a bit. 

Still, it was what Logan had requested. He had no need for a bed; he didn't much like laying on his front, and his charging port was on his lower back. If he needed to sit at all, he'd rather do it on a table akin to the one he was created atop of. It also meant he could sit straighter while charging. 

Janus guides him to the table and encourages him to sit, before sitting criss-cross behind him. Janus finds the cold metal to be rather harsh and uncomfortable, but he keeps quiet about that for now. 

"I don't understand why you're doing this anyway. According to my recent self-scans, I've been running perfectly fine." 

"Isn't it nice to double check, though?" Janus asks, as his fingers slide beneath Logan's polo. 

Logan's skin is synthetic - it's made to feel human, but lacks warmth. Janus can even press his fingers into Logan's sides or arms and they'll sink a bit into the fake flesh, but it's just an outer layer designed to protect his wires and circuitry, the same way the skin is just an outer layer made to protect muscle and bone. 

Logan frowns. "It won't be nice when your unskilled prodding causes a server shutdown," he argues, as Janus slowly pulls his shirt up and over his body. 

He's able to process each touch to his body due to an array of microfibers built into the synthetic skin. He's been told it should feel identical to the way a human would feel when being touched the same way, but Logan had no way to compare the two. So Janus's fingertips brushing against his soft back makes his internal nerves spark, with Logan stiffening and straightening his posture. 

"If you're going to pull out the panel, I'd suggest you get on with it. I'm not here to entertain you." 

Janus chuckles softly. "Aren't you made to be patient?" 

"I can tell you that I'm definitely not made to be tampered with." Logan turns his head to the side, and gives Janus a cold glare. "Especially by someone already acting so unprofessional." 

"Such a snarky tongue. Is that programmed, or just preferred?" 

"Preferred." 

Janus grins. "Hm. I like it." 

"I'd like for you not to damage my hardware." 

"Relax," Janus soothes, as his hands push into Logan's back in two specific spots parallel to each other on his left and right side. The pressure causes Logan's skin in a rectangular shape to sink a bit, before it springs out with a soft hiss. Janus dips his hand underneath the left-hand opening, just barely able to wedge two of his fingers under it, and undoes a latch. This allows him to fully swing the panel open like a door, and reveals Logan's innerworkings beneath. 

There's a metal spine down the center of his back that allows Logan to turn and bend like a typical person, but Janus is able to reach his arms into Logan around it, which immediately has Logan clicking in disapproval. 

"Anything you'd need to look at would be on the screen on the inside of my back panel," Logan states,  though Janus is fully aware of this. "There's no reason for you to be sticking your hands into my body." 

"Physical checkup," Janus reasons, before sitting up on his knees. He places his chin on Logan's shoulder, with his hands sliding up Logan's spine. "You can't exactly see inside your back; how sure are you that everything's still in order? It seems to me that every time Virgil's worked on your system, he's only paid attention to your digital data or reports. When was the last time he made sure there were no exposed wires, twisted circuits, or dented metal?" 

Logan hesitates, before claiming "I think I'd be able to feel if things were damaged." 

Janus's fingers reach back into his innards, and his fingertips lightly caress the thick, black wires braded around thin metal rods, which all formed together into a makeshift ribcage. The action makes Logan bite his lip, an artificial - but incredibly noticeable - flush spreading over his cheeks in an almost cartoonish manner. 

"Careful," Janus murmurs. "We don't want you to overheat, now do we?" 

Logan's fingers tap against his thigh. "No. No, I suppose not." 

"Good. May I check?" 

Logan glances at Janus, knowing full well what Janus means by "check." And yet, he nods. "Only if you're careful." 

"I'll make sure you're still functional afterwards," Janus assures him, before adding "but I can't promise much more than that." 

He kisses Logan's bare shoulder, before leaning back down to poke at Logan's autonomy. Logan's mostly still as Janus's hands explore his insides yet again, but he knows it's only a matter of time before Janus is determining what looks the most fun to play with and decides to pull and push at it. 

And seemingly, the first thing that seems to interest him are the coloured wires, which he runs his fingers over. 

He decides to tease the yellow one first, and pinches the cord lightly, before sliding upwards, and then dragging his fingers downwards, tugging briefly on the wire and making Logan jolt suddenly. 

"Careful!" Logan insists, but his voice glitches as he rubs his hands over his thighs. 

"Trust me," Janus responds, pressing a kiss to the back of Logan's neck. He hears a click, followed by a soft whirring sound as Logan's fans begin, with his outer layer heating up ever so slightly. Janus smiles against Logan's skin.

"Do you secretly like it when I pull on that wire?" Janus asks, as he tugs on that very cord again. This time, Logan hisses, but it's not the reaction Janus wants. So he hums, and runs his fingers over a few others, before stroking the red cord. That has Logan moaning and jolting, his hands gripping the edge of the table they're seated on. 

"Ahh," Janus muses, "I see. You were just waiting for me to find the right wire. This one is fun, but I wonder what the blue one does..." 

Janus again switches wires, and tugs a lot more harshly on the blue one, with something becoming unplugged and Logan's innards sparking. Logan lets out a glitchy cry as Janus rushes to pull his hand out of Logan's back, not wanting to injure himself. 

"Fuck," Janus curses quietly, before setting a hand gently on Logan's upper shoulder. "Are you alright?" 

Logan pants. "You just... unplugged my ethernet port." 

Janus chews his inner cheek. "Do you... do you need that?" 

Logan huffs, turning to glare at Janus over his shoulder, who smiles prettily at Logan's narrow eyes. "You're going to dismantle me someday." 

"I'm going to take that as a 'no.'" Janus grabs the loose cable and ducks a bit to try and figure out the plug the small, cylindrical plug into. He sees the silver ring clear on a small black box up inside Logan's body. Janus reaches up to rub over the port with his finger, making Logan moan softly. "However, I'll be nice. I'll plug it back in for you, so you can... connect to the ethernet." 

"It allows me to tap into the local network in order to access speedy data transmissions," Logan murmurs, his eyes fluttering shut as Janus circles the hole with his plug, teasing the very tip of it at the plugs entrance. Janus pushes it in just enough for it to be noticeable, and then pulls it out again, making Logan shudder and stutter as he attempts to continue. "It doesn't... it doesn't do much for me at home, but it's useful for when we're out." 

"Oh yeah? So should I just..." Janus slips the cord in just enough for it to be noticeable, but not fully, edging Logan out of that satisfying click, "not plug this back in, then? It doesn't do anything anyway, right?" 

Logan whines, taking in a shuddering breath that lets Janus watch as small pistons nestled in his faux ribcage pump the air back out. "Please. Plug it in, please." 

Janus smirks, and does just that, and while normally plugging something in wouldn't feel this intense, something about the way Janus speaks or the way he teases his outlet makes it such, and so when Janus fully plugs the ethernet cord in, Logan jolts and sparks, eyes briefly flashing fully white, and moaning outright. Again, Janus has to rush to pull his hand out, before huffing. 

"If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were trying to electrocute me." 

Logan pants, arching his back and reaching behind him, as if trying to dig his fingers into his open panel and play with his cords himself. "I'd just be electrocuting us both, in that scenario. I spark because this is unnatural; it's not my fault I wasn't built to be played with."

Humming, Janus's hands circle around Logan's body and run his hands down between Logan's thighs, feeling the straining bulge in his jeans. "What's this for, then?" he asks, while grinding his palm over the area, making Logan squeeze his legs together, unintentionally pushing Janus's hand further against his crotch. 

"Anatomical accuracy," Logan weakly explains, but he knows Janus doesn't care. 

Janus blindly undoes Logan's jeans, struggling briefly with the zipper before he can get it down, and pulls out Logan's cock. 

He was built to be average in terms of size, but sensitive in terms of touch. The purpose of that feature was so that he could touch distinct surfaces and identify what they're made of, but it meant he was also incredibly sensitive to touch from others, especially in areas which weren't normally stimulated. 

Janus strokes his fingers over Logan's cock with little hesitation, before pulling his hands away and peering into Logan's back. 

"Your... fluid compartment... does that connect to your shaft?" 

"Of course it does." 

As Janus's eyes find the small, round-shaped, bag-like compartment, he's delighted to see it's full of a milky white liquid. "Is that for anatomical accuracy as well?"

Logan swallows the nonexistent spit in his mouth. "It is." 

Janus reaches out to touch the compartment, and cringes with fascination and disgust at how it feels. It's like a ball made of nano-tape; just thick enough to hold firm, but malleable when squished. And so, out of morbid curiosity, Janus squishes it.

Perhaps he wasn't thinking about where that fluid would go when squeezed out of its compartment, or maybe he wasn't aware that such an easily overlooked piece of hardware was essentially created to be similar to a human prostate, but either way Janus is incredibly startled when Logan's body jolts as pleasure rushes through him, and he lets out a warped cry as an orgasm is quickly forced out of him before he's ready. 

The sudden excitement has Logan sparking with delight and surprise of his own, and despite having previously been careful to avoid the loose electricity, Janus couldn't possibly have seen this coming. 

A loose wire comes into contact with the back of Janus's hand, and before he can even gasp electricity is coursing through his body, and sending an overload of electricity through Logan's as well as he conducts it through his flesh and back into Logan's hardware. 

The shocking, the pain, and the pleasure last for mere seconds before Janus is pulling away, but it's just long enough for them to both fall of the table in opposite directions. 

Janus falls onto his backside near Logan's wall. Logan falls forward onto his chest across from him. 

Struggling to catch his breath, Janus holds his hand and turns to look at Logan, who's laying limp. Immediately, he freaks out. Sure, he's human, and that much electricity could be dangerous, but Logan was a fucking machine. He's not supposed to be electrocuted; Janus could have seriously damaged him!

As Janus moves to stand up, he realizes he's hard in his pants, and curses at the poor timing as he circles the table and drops to his knees beside Logan. His pants land in a sticky mess of Logan's artificial come, and he cringes, but attempts to ignore his disgust in favor of flipping Logan over, closing his back panel in the process. 

Logan's eyes are shut, but when Janus slides his eyelids up, he sees that his eyes are completely black. 

Filled with a rush of anxiety, Janus reaches his hand around to the back of Logan's neck, and feels a button at the base of his hairline, which he presses and holds down, praying that it starts to glow. 

And thankfully, it does.

There's a small power-up tune that plays as the button on the back of Logan's neck flashes, before Logan's eyes are slowly blinking open. They shift from solid black to bright wide, and then with a few more blinks blue irises are forming, swirling around like a loading screen before solidifying with a black pupil. 

Logan stares blankly for a minute, before his face heats up into an embarrassed flush. 

"Sorry," he mumbles, as Janus helps him sit up. 

"Sorry?" Janus repeats, in disbelief. "I'm the one who should be apologizing! Are you... hurt in any way?" 

"No."

"Are you sure?" 

Janus's hands reach for Logan's face, but Logan grabs his wrists and causes him to stop short. Logan's eyes flicker away from Janus, before settling back on him as he admits "I shut myself down." 

"What?!" Janus frowns and smacks Logan's shoulder. "You're not funny. The others would have never let me hear the end of it if I'd damaged you!" 

Logan clears his throat. "I could feel a server overload coming due to the electricity and so shut myself down in order to reprogram myself and install better hardware. It's still processing, but it should finish in a couple minutes." 

"Better hardware?" 

Logan stretches his arm out, wiggles his fingers, and then circles his arm around, testing his mobility. "Yes. Better hardware. Obviously a surplus amount of electricity can cause physical damage, but I'm fairly resilient. My main concern would be my hard drives or servers becoming overwhelmed and either corrupting or frying them altogether. So... I installed a few failsafes." 

"Such as...?" 

"I lowered my electricity output temporarily," Logan begins, listing items off the top of his head, "both for my benefit, and yours-" 

Janus looks away at the implication he'd be reaching back into Logan's insides. 

"I downloaded some protection agencies that increase my server's abilities to withstand extreme stress, I copied and uploaded some of my most important assets to the cloud, I ran a diagnostic and made sure no permanent damage was done, and reprogrammed myself to shut down in the event of extreme electric damage so that neither of us would be killed if that intense of a shock were to happen again." 

Staring blankly at Logan, Janus clasps his hands together. "So... we're good to resume?" 

Logan sighs, but a smile tugs at the corner of his lips. "Yes; if you so desire." 

And Janus does so desire, and so flips Logan back over without warning, where Logan obediently stays on his hands and knees. He lets Janus push his chest against the ground and flip his back panel open once more, and tries to keep his body from overheating when he feels Janus's bulge push against his clothed ass. 

"Your fans flicked on again," Janus comments, as his hands plunge back into Logan's innards. He feels wind blow over his scales and shivers, but is more than amused at how quickly they were activated. 

"It's a precaution," Logan murmurs, visibly embarrassed. 

Janus leans over Logan, grinding his hard cocks over Logan's backside and groaning into his ear, before Janus searches for a new item inside of Logan to play with. He pokes the small compartment, though now it's lacking fluid. While that means no more mess, Janus suspects that Logan won't mind having a dry orgasm or two. 

Logan lets out a shaky breath as Janus's fingers rub over his ribcage, his spine, and then back down to his wires, some hanging looser than others. Briefly, Janus's fingers rub over an unused outlet - fit for a hard drive, if Logan ever needed to transfer outside information to his servers - and it makes Logan moan outright. 

"I've heard of plugs being used during sex, but you take it to a whole new level," Janus teases, as his other hand tugs firmly on an intertwined group of wires, which makes Logan suddenly cry out, arching his chest against the floor. Janus grinds his thumb more purposefully over the empty socket. "Maybe I'll download some of Remus's porn onto a hard drive and plug it into you without warning. Would you like that? If I overwhelmed your intellectual technology with graphic, defiling content?" 

Despite Logan's typical stoic behavior, he actually pushes his forehead against the floor as he moans out "yes." His voice is glitchy and quiet, and it causes Janus to let out a shuddering breath of his own as he ruts his hips against Logan's ass. 

As Janus's hand continues to slide against the open plug in the lower right hand side of Logan's back, his other caresses the wires up to where they disappear into a black box. And so, he slides it back down to a circuit board, which he is gentle when touching despite Logan beeping in surprise as Janus's fingers tap against it.

"Careful!" Logan again exclaims, though he sounds more excited than anything. "That's fragile!" 

Janus grinds harder against Logan's ass at just how cute he sounds. "I am careful," he assures Logan, while pushing his longer thumb nails into both the plug and the circuit board. 

Little flickers of electricity bounce off the circuit board, shocking Janus once or twice, but it's significantly tamer compared to what he's already experienced. And with Logan's little jolts and whimpers, Janus can assume he's feeling the shocks too.

But what Logan's really amazed by is how foreign and obviously wrong the protrusion of Janus's nail is into his outlet, and the scratching of his circuit board, and yet... he's getting off on this technological malpractice. 

Everything that Janus is doing to him is unique. New. And so Logan desperately tries to record and memorize the strange way it feels. However, the light touches also allows Logan to breathe - both metaphorically, and artificially. In this brief respite, Logan's reminded that he's pathetically hard due to the weight of his cock hanging between his legs. He knows his fluid compartment is empty, but that doesn't negate his ability to have an orgasm, and he knows Janus will going to push him to his limit again and again and again if he so desires. 

Embarrassed, Logan hides his face in the floor, picturing how lewd and unprofessional he's being. He must look like some sort of sexbot! But before he can complain, Janus is dipping his face into Logan's panel, and lightly blowing air over his circuit board, causing Logan to gasp as his head shoots up in surprise. 

He tries to crane his head back to look at Janus, who just grins at him in response and grinds a little harder, reminding Logan that Janus is also getting off on toying with him like he's some sort of do-it-yourself robot kit. 

Logan opens his mouth to complain, but nothing comes out. Still though, Janus playfully explains "I thought I saw a speck of dust," lying right through his teeth. His words however have Logan whining anyway, and Janus draws a particularly loud noise from him when he begins to snake his fingers around a couple wires. 

Even the faintest of touches make him moan and shut his eyes, submissively pushing his face back into the ground as Janus messes with him. 

"What-" Logan starts, but his voice abruptly glitches and cuts out, making him flush and focus for a moment on steadying himself. After clearing his throat, he tries again, and asks "what are you doing?" 

Janus just smiles. "I think I see a few tangled wires..." he says, as both of his hands move to a cluster of them. Feeling Janus's fingers caress the cords makes Logan gasp, only for him to moan when Janus begins to carefully pluck and untwist a set that were indeed wrapped around each other. They're guided out of sockets in order to be looped through the meshed cables, and then re-plugged in such smooth tandem that Logan's never given a break to catch his breath. 

He's touching multiple wires for a prolonged amount of time, gently maneuvered back to where Janus believes they should be, even if it doesn't affect their ability to function at all. 

And Logan repeatedly moans and groans as Janus continues to slide the wires past each other, rubbing them against other cords and in-between his own warm, fleshy fingers. Logan's noises increase in pitch the longer Janus touches, and raise in volume the firmer his caresses get. 

And while Janus takes his time initially in playing with Logan, he can't help but become impatient at the lack of pleasure he's feeling himself, and so grabs Logan's wires more tightly - almost as leverage - while he grinds harder against him, moaning into Logan's back panel and breathing over his sensitive hardware. 

A click is heard followed by Logan's internal fans whirring slightly louder, as though they've increased in intensity and kicked into high-gear, and Janus can't help but laugh softly as he rests his forehead against the side of Logan's back - teetering on the edge of his synthetic flesh and Logan's exposed innards.

"Feeling hot?" Janus teases, before his forked tongue licks across the rim of the panel's opening. That has Logan crying out; the power button on the back of his neck flashing excitedly. Janus raises his eyebrow as he looks at it. 

"Is this draining your battery?" he asks, and watches Logan slump in humiliation, as pleasure rushes through his body as Janus continues to twirl his wires around like they're fidget toys for his amusement. "My, we might just have to leave you plugged in all night to recuperate after this!" Janus's fingers pull out of Logan's panel, sliding over his inner walls before leaving entirely, and instead move to circle around his charging port on his lower back. 

Lightly, Janus rubs his pointer finger over it, and that's all it takes. 

Logan's gasping, crying and glitching - his moans a stuttering cacophony of different sound bites and start-up noises, all mixed in with his artificial breathing and the differing noises spilling from his back. His charging port sparks and the electricity catches Janus again, shocking him more intensely this time, but he moans against Logan and just presses his finger harder against it, rubbing it feverishly against the outlet as Logan's worked through a dry orgasm before he lays limply on the ground, wonderfully overstimulated and burnt out (literally). 

Janus smiles as he moves his hand away from Logan's port, and spends the next minute or so humping against Logan's ass before he comes in his own pants with a soft moan, and then closes Logan's back panel before falling against him. However, the constant light from Logan's flashing power button bothers him, and so he pulls away. 

"You really should plug yourself in," Janus comments, as he helps Logan to his feet. 

Logan struggles to stand for a moment, mumbling "hold on... recalibrating balance settings..." while trying to get his loose cock back into his jeans, before he falls over onto his metal table chest-first.

He lays against it limply, and thanks Janus after the latter struggles to lift Logan's heavy form fully onto the surface. 

Janus circles around Logan to his wall outlet, where he takes Logan's charger into his hand and promptly plugs it in. Logan whines, as though he's still sensitive, but his power light glows happily at being plugged in. Janus leans against the table and sighs. 

"How are you feeling?" 

Logan turns his head to the side, so he can speak without sounding muffled. "Fine. I don't think anything's permanently damaged." 

Janus huffs out a laugh. "That's a relief." 

"Knowing you? I agree." 

Janus smacks Logan's lower thigh playfully, before focusing on his breathing for a moment. Logan's rhythmic, synthetic breathes contrast greatly to Janus's more irregular exhales, but there's both visibly pleased, albeit a tad messy. He'll get himself cleaned up after catching his breath, and he supposes that when he's done with a bath he'll come wipe Logan down. He'll even be extra careful! He's sure Logan will appreciate it. 

[wasawattpadkid]

Housewife

Part - 17

Summery: Billy and Stu have been planning these murders for quite some time. Everything is going to plan until you show up. What happens when they meet someone who is just as mentally deluded as they are?

Pairing: Poly! ghostface x fem!reader

Warnings for this series: ⚠️smut 18+⚠️murder, blood, smut (will be more in depth on smut chapters), power dynamics, a dash of sexism, knives, stalking, perverse behavior, cheating, blowjobs, handjob, fingering (fem! receiving) , pet names

A/N: if you saw this chapter when Tumblr decided to mess around and upload it early no you didn't 😌

Part 1

Billy and Stu would never admit you were right. No arguments, no fights, the dinner was good, and the sex was even better. Separating for a bit did nothing but improve the relationship that so quickly developed. It had been almost two weeks now. Stu came over regularly especially when your dad came home for a couple of days. He spent more time with your father than he did with you honestly. Surprisingly the boys didn't argue about who spent more time with who. They didn't want to mess up the good thing they had going.

Woodsboro High had thankfully calmed down. Of course, your sleeping habits were still being talked about. Some people even connected the dots on who you were prior to your move back. Billy did a good job of scaring people quiet.

As of now, the school knew you were off limits that didn't stop them from whispering though. For once in your life you didn't care. Chase and Linda did sit at the water fountain with you and the boys. It aggravated Billy that he didn't hate the two. Chase looked like a member of some shitty boy band but that's about all the kid had wrong with him.

Stu was happy having friends again. Linda and Stu did not get along. Something about him being too "ostentatious." Lucky for the boy he had no idea what the word meant. Chase enjoyed spending time with you and the guys. He thought Stu was hilarious but he couldn't get comfortable around Billy.

"Are you guys going to be at the party?" Chase asked again. He'd been bothering the three of you all week. "Isn't it a little early to be having a Halloween party?" You asked blocking your eyes from the sun. Stu was on board the moment he heard the word party. You and Billy however were hesitant to go out in such a scene. "I thought it'd be better to have it the last weekend of October." Billy's hand rested on your knee which you promptly removed.

He did stupid things like this anytime Chase was around. For someone who hated PDA, he sure was all over you when another guy was around. "We'll think about it," Billy spoke wanting the couple to leave. "Cool, I'll see you guys there. Y/n you've got my address?" You nodded earning a stern look from your boyfriends. Chase and Linda walked back over to their spot leaving the three of you by the fountain. "Before you say anything he gave me his address on a piece of paper yesterday for the party." You held up your hand keeping Billy quiet.

"We should go. I mean it's a costume party nobody has to know it's us." Stu's smile became somewhat sinister. The boy leaned down next to Billy whispering in his ear. "We could bring back our costumes..." You jumped when Billy pushed his friend back almost landing him in the water. "Are you fucking insane?" Billy asked with utter confusion. "What are you two bitching about now?" You asked before taking a bite of your lunch. "Go ahead tell her your genius plan." Billy held out his arm encouraging his partner. Stu leaned down whispering something similar to you.

"Are you trying to get us caught?" You snapped quietly making Billy smile. "At least someone here has some common sense." Stu huffed thinking you two were overreacting. "Everyone's going to be dressed up as Ghostface. I don't see why I can't have fun." Even if everyone was dressed up as the infamous killer that didn't mean it was a good idea for you to do the same. "That's exactly why we shouldn't go. Aren't we supposed to be traumatized?" Billy asked slightly mocking your overly cautious behavior. "Oh please," You scoffed making the boy laugh. "Stu if you really want to go I'll go with you but no Ghostface costume."

"The case was closed I don't get why you still have your panties up in a bunch. Both of you." Stu looked between you and Billy as his lover flipped him off with a fake smile. You wanted to be as carefree as they were but you couldn't bring yourself to do it. All three of you were criminals. Case closed or not. You couldn't be too careful in a situation like this. "Says the asshole who has literally worn panties." Your face scrunched as you looked over at Stu. "I was curious! There's nothing wrong with a little self-expression man." You opened your mouth to speak but words simply didn't come out.

"As much as this conversation is really turning me on we need to talk about this party." Stu smiled at your sarcasm. "Can I wear a mask?" He asked happily. "With a face like that you need to." Billy muttered making you elbow his side. "Bitch." He mumbled rubbing the now sore spot with a laugh. Stu smiled at his lovers. It really was a miracle things worked out. Billy was slowly becoming the boy he fell in love with in the first place. You seemed to get more comfortable as well. It took awhile but you adapted to the dynamic between the two men. Insults and name calling was a just a cover up for the love the three of you shared.

"Great because I already have a Myers costume I've been dying to wear." Billy looked up with intrigue. Neither of you knew about the outfit. "You bought a Michael Myers costume and didn't show me? Even after you made me watch all the movies?" The offense in your voice was comical to Stu. "It was supposed to be a surprise. What are you going to wear?" Stu gestured over to you with his head. "Well since we like keeping secrets you'll just have to wait. It's a surprise." You flicked the tip of his nose as your finished your sentence.

"What are you wearing?" You turned towards Billy. "Who said I was going?" He spoke already aware that if you and Stu went he was sure to follow. You liked to think you were the smartest person out of the three but if you and Stu were involved nothing good was bound to happen. "I did so what are you wearing?" Billy didn't have a costume. He debated on even wearing one to the party. "You could dress up as Glen from Nightmare On Elm Street." Stu bounced his eyebrows up and down suggestively. "If you think I'm wearing a crop top you're mistaken." Your face lit up at the idea. "Woah woah, what would it take for you to wear that? Asking for a friend." You laughed making Billy smile.

"It would take a lot more than you could give me." Billy tapped your cheek shaking his head. He thought about his closet at home trying to run through the possible costumes. "Do you have face paint?"

He asked seriously making both you and Stu chuckle. "You won't wear a crop top but you'll do yourself up like RuPaul. Got it." You pursed your lips not wanting to encourage Stu. "I said face paint dipshit, not makeup." Slowly you turned towards Stu giving him a look. Before you could figure out anything else the bell rang meaning all three of you were about to be late for class.

With quick goodbyes and see you laters everyone went their separate way. The day was slow mostly because you were counting down the minutes until 7th period. It was nice having a class with Billy. If you didn't want to be bothered he'd leave you alone. If you wanted to ignore the teacher and waste time he was also the guy to go to. You couldn't begin to imagine how a class with Stu would go.

"You'll have an exam Monday. You need to study this weekend or you won't pass." The teacher spoke as she wiped down the chalkboard. Some kids groaned while others just packed up their things. "What time is the party?" Billy asked picking up his notebook and binder. You couldn't remember if Chase said eight or nine. "Eight I think don't quote me on it."

Billy followed you to your locker watching as you put away your things. "I'll meet you and Stu by your car." With a nod from you, he carried his things across the hall.

They gave you space by moving back to their respective houses. School was a different story. By now it didn't matter the whole school knew you three were inseparable. If Billy and Stu weren't together then one of them was with you. It was rare someone saw one of you walking alone. It made you feel safe in a way.

Stu was already leaning on your car waiting for his two favorite people to show up. "Have I told you how beautiful you look today?" He asked popping a piece of candy into his mouth. "You have. Almost four times now." Stu could be repetitive but everyone knew you ate up the attention. "Well, I'll make it five. You look beautiful Mrs. Crocker. When we get married will you take my last name or will I get Crocker?" Your eyes grew wide at the silly question. "What-"

"I'm going to stop by my house and pick up some clothes do either of you need anything while I'm out?" Billy asked ending the conversation between you and Stu. "I'm good." You spoke throwing your purse into your car. "I don't think so. You taking me to my place so I can grab my costume?" Stu asked the boy who constantly drove him around. "You're paying for gas." Stu balled up his fist in celebration. "I guess while you two are gone I'll get my stuff together."

"Are we meeting up at our house afterwards?" The way Stu called your house "ours" never failed to make you smile. "Yeah, we'll have to if I'm doing his makeup." Billy shot you a look. "Sorry sorry, face paint." You made air quotations around the words just to tease him. "We shouldn't be too long." Billy motioned for Stu to start walking toward his car. "Okay drive safe!" You shouted towards both boys. Stu turned around sticking his tongue out at you. A smile played at your lips as you had flashbacks of nights previous.

You drove home listening to a Jackson 5 tape that was obviously well-loved. The watch on your wrist read 3:30 as you stepped out of the car. You had plenty of time to dig up the old outfit crammed in the back of your closet.

Part of you did want to go out and have fun but something told you not to go. You wouldn't have even thought about going if it wasn't for Billy and Stu. In some stupid way, you wanted to show off the boys. You told your boyfriends one thing but secretly you loved when people's eyes were on you. Good or bad you were occupying their minds and with two men by your side you felt safe. Those insignificant assholes couldn't hurt you anymore. Male validation was something you should probably see someone about with how bad it was. It didn't quite make sense to you. Why would you crave something from the people who hurt you the most? You didn't need to be loved by everyone but you couldn't be hated by anyone.

The Halloween costume was never worn. You bought it last year but with your lack of friends, you had nowhere to wear it. At least now you could feel like it was money well spent. Once you laid out every piece of the set you tried it all on. The knee-high fishnets were scandalous but paired with the maid ensemble it was downright sinful. You turned around making sure the dress covered everything it needed to. The fabric fell to the middle of your thighs. However, your chest was more exposed than usual.

It was a startling change but that's what Halloween was for. It was the one night of the year you could be someone completely different. It was five o'clock before the boys pulled into the driveway.

"What's up, Dewey?" Stu called out seeing the deputy sit on his porch. The boy didn't like the way the officer stared at him as if he'd done something wrong. He knew he did but that was for him and his accomplices to know. Not the town deputy. Dewey squinted at the two men. He had seen them both come and go never staying too long to his knowledge. He felt like a creep staring but he was concerned for you. Something was off about those kids. Especially since Stu showed up with a blood-splattered Halloween mask. "Stu come on." Billy scolded pushing the boy towards the door. "Have a good night Deputy." Billy waved with a smile that Dewey could only describe as disturbing.

"You trying to get our asses busted?" Billy spoke knocking on the front door. "Well, he's got a staring problem." Stu shrugged. "Maybe because you're covered in blood?" Billy looked him up and down with a stern expression. "At least it's fake this time." He mumbled before you opened the door. Stu had the plan to yell and scare you but once he saw what you were wearing plans changed. "Sorry it took me a second to get down here I was working on my makeup." Both boys looked at you like they'd never seen you before. "Fuck..." Stu spoke in a low tone but it became even lower due to the mask over his face.

The blood-stained mask and coveralls were doing something to you that you couldn't quite describe. He slowly titled his head as his eyes continued to scan every inch of your body. The gesture made heat flood your skin. "What are you supposed to be?" Billy asked his demeanor was softer than you thought it'd be. "I'm Magenta from Rocky Horror!" You chirped spinning around for the men. Your dress rode up just a little when you spun letting them see the bottom of your black lace underwear. Billy couldn't be trusted alone with you right now dressed the way you were. He sure as hell hated the idea of you being around a bunch of other people.

You took a moment to look at Billy's outfit. His tight black shirt was torn with several bullet-shaped holes in the fabric. What really surprised you though were the black leather pants that left almost nothing to the imagination. His abdomen was wrapped with what looked like duct tape. If Stu's outfit hadn't already turned you on then Billy's certainly did.

"Um... What- who are you dressed as? " The words tumbled from your lips making Stu smile. He enjoyed the effect they had on you. Billy was too occupied with his thoughts to hear what you said or how you said it. "He's The Crow. We brought the tape over so you could see how to do his face." Billy handed you the VHS tape never taking his eyes off you. "Oh.." The makeup was bound to make him ten times hotter. "You can't do it?" He asked as he walked into the house with Stu in tow. "No, I can do it. Yeah no not a problem." You cursed yourself for sounding the way you did. Stu was getting a kick out of seeing you so excited. He pulled off his mask sitting it on your couch.

Both men sat their combat boots near the door as you grabbed both of them a drink. You desperately needed anything cold. "Thanks, baby." Stu said but his words were deep. You swallowed what little spit coated your mouth nervously. "Yep." You responded quickly. He raised up smacking your ass with a smile. "Watch it." You scolded playfully. You handed Billy his drink but he sat it on the counter. "You look so... different."

Billy focused on your makeup. Your face was a shade lighter than usual. The red and black eyeshadow that circled your eyes made you almost look dead. Your stained red lips were the focal point of the look. The drastic difference in your normal appearance was erotic but it made him appreciate your joyful everyday attire even more. This wasn't you, he could tell by the way you carried yourself. The gaze the two men held on you made you feel like the sexiest woman on earth but Billy knew once that initial high wore off the revealing clothes would make you self-conscious.

"Do you like it?" You asked the boys holding out your arms. "I love it, Y/n." Stu used your name in a way you hadn't heard before, not from him. He wanted to make a funny comment about how you look better naked but he didn't want to cheapen the moment. "Where'd you get this?" Billy picked at the dress curiously.

"I bought it last year for Halloween but I didn't get the chance to wear it." You kept the pathetic details to yourself. A small smile played on Billy's lips. "So we're the first ones to see you in this?" His eyes looked up to meet yours. "The only ones."

The fact stirred something inside both men. You cleared your throat scared of the sexual tension that fogged up the room. "If we're going to that party I need to do your face." You avoided the word "make-up" the best you could. "Can you do my face too honey?" Stu pouted. You laughed at the action. "What do you want me to do?" The innocent question made him almost chuckle. Before he could say "sit on it" you held up your hand realizing your mistake. "Nevermind don't answer that. Make yourself at home while I work on him." You grabbed Billy's hand pulling him upstairs. He sent Stu a look getting an eye roll in return.

You set the VHS tape on your bathroom sink next to the large bag of makeup. Most of which you rarely ever used. "This isn't going to stain is it?" Billy picked up the tube of white you used on yourself just a while ago. "If it does we're both screwed." You laughed but Billy looked genuinely scared.

"No, it doesn't stain." He didn't seem completely convinced. "You don't have to wear face paint. You look great already." You ran your hand along his arm appreciating the outfit for a second time. He couldn't worry about the makeup if he was too worried about the way your fingers danced across his skin. Distracting a man was easy. "I look great?" He asked the compliment went straight to his head. You leaned up pressing a kiss against his lips. Thankfully you wore transfer-proof lipstick. "You look wonderful." You spoke before setting out the black and white makeup. A smile appeared on his face at your words.

You grabbed some hair clips pinning back the hair that fell over his face. "Now you look adorable." You laughed as he scrunched his nose at his reflection. "Don't say I don't care about you. I wouldn't let anyone else do this to me." Now that you believed. "Ooh, I feel special." You joked squirting out some of the white foundation on the back of your hand. "You are." He said looking into your eyes. You gulped shaking your head.

"Smooth Casanova." You smacked his shoulder before taking a brush to the foundation. "Now stay still I don't want to mess up." He had no intention of following your instructions. "Okay."

You started to smear the cream on his cheek slowly spreading it around. The sensation was odd to Billy. He didn't hate it but it wasn't something he'd willingly do again. His eyes traced your features. The way your tongue stuck out in concentration was more than adorable. Every time you moved a shadow would cover his face making it hard to see. "Hold on." You struggled to position him in a way where you could see. "Here," Billy spoke before lifting you to sit on the sink. There was no way it couldn't support your weight but still, you had a habit of overthinking.

"What if this breaks under me? Are you going to fix it?" His hands gripped your bare thighs keeping you still. "It won't now keep going." He said as he closed his eyes. You fought the urge to chew on your lip. Billy stood between your legs basking in the white light coming from above your mirror. It was an intimate act one that did nothing but make you want to stay home. You continued to paint his face making sure the white stopped at the bottom of his jaw like the picture on the back of the tape. At some point, Billy started to like the feeling. Not of the makeup necessarily but more of the feeling of you touching his face. Your movements were precise and careful he didn't have to open his eyes to know that.

You had seen what he was capable of. How horrible of a person he could be. Yet you were careful not to hurt him. Even with a brush that had passed your skin a million times, you traced his face like it might pierce the cream-covered flesh. You found it cute how he started to subconsciously lean into your touch. It made your job harder but you wouldn't tell him to do any different.

Billy's thumbs started to rub against your fishnets absentmindedly. The simple act didn't bother him any but it made a world of difference to you. No longer could you focus on the task at hand. Once the white covered his face you grabbed a makeup palette that held the darkest black you owned. Billy opened his eyes slightly taken aback by the mime look he had going on. "Jesus-" He said making you laugh. "Don't look yet I'm not done!" He closed his eyes trying to hide his smile. As you caked the black makeup on his eyes he raised his eyebrows almost ruining your progress. "Stop." You poked his side making him laugh. You had found out just a few days ago that he was ticklish. He gave you no choice but to use it against him.

Carefully you ran the brush down his cheek dragging the eyeshadow in a straight line. After that was done you did the same thing upwards. You blew the fallout off his face making his nose twitch.

"I asked you earlier if you needed me to pick up anything while I was out. You could've said you needed breath mints." He almost crumbled when your hand poked harshly at his side. His laughter could be heard all the way downstairs. "Apologize." You commanded smiling at his pained laughs. The only time you considered yourself a sadist is when it came to fucking with Billy. Stu and you shared that hobby. "Kiss my ass." He heaved only making you poke harder. Billy twisted with joyful agony. "I'm sorry!" He breathed making you remove your hand. "Good boy." You patted his head obviously teasing him. It was a joke but your words twisted his stomach more than your assault did.

"Now straighten up so I can finish I'm almost done." His eyes didn't bother looking up at his reflection. He was too busy looking at you wondering why you'd say that to him. He also wondered why the fuck he liked it so much. Makeup and now some strange form of submission, God his dad would kill him if he saw him now. His mother would probably disown him if she hadn't already. "Open your mouth."

You expected a snarky comment but it never came. His lips parted letting you do whatever you had in mind. You picked up your eyeliner lining his lips with the jet-black color. Afterward, you applied chapstick on his lips making sure to get plenty on before grabbing the black eyeshadow once more. With your ring finger, you dabbed the color onto his shiny lips. Once his lips were covered you blended it all together careful not to let it bleed.

"Don't move." You leaned over grabbing a piece of toilet paper. Gingerly you patted the paper against his lips picking up the extra product. The last thing you needed to do was draw a line coming from the corners of his mouth. You looked at each line making sure they were straight. "We're done- oh wait." You pulled the clips from his hair letting it hang defiantly in front of his face. "Look!" You cheered happily proud of your work. Billy finally looked up surprised by the person he saw in the mirror. He looked like a total badass but he felt like the complete opposite.

Stu made his way up the stairs getting lonely and curious once he heard Billy laugh. Swiftly he opened the bathroom door making both you and Billy look up at the man. The intrusion made you think you'd been caught doing something wrong. "God damn..." Stu spoke looking at his boyfriend. The makeup was perfect.

Seeing the two of you there, Billy positioned between your thighs was something he wanted tattooed on him. "How does he look?" You asked knowing exactly what Stu was thinking. Both of you shared a special friendship outside of your relationship. You talk to each other about Billy like he was a crush you both had. He loved to gossip and you loved to talk. It was perfect really.

"Does that stuff stain?" Stu asked stepping into the bathroom walking towards Billy. "Nope." You reassured not knowing if it did or not. "Thank fuck." He said before grabbing the boy forcing his lips on his. One of Billy's hands stayed on your thigh as the other grasped Stu's waist.

Something had to have gotten into him. It was probably the fumes from your makeup. He'd never let Stu just grab him like that. Even on the days when they were both insatiable, he put Stu in his place. You watched as Stu yanked on his lover's hair. Billy's frame stopped you from squeezing your legs together. Something you desperately needed to do. Billy softly moaned into Stu's mouth letting his tongue roam around the makeup-covered boy. You could see the black smearing across Stu's lips. There went your hard work but you couldn't care less. Billy's hand ran down Stu's coveralls quickly finding his growing bulge.

As Billy rubbed against Stu his other hand crept up your thigh rubbing softly against your clothed cunt. For a moment you forgot how to breathe. Stu let go of Billy's hair moving his hands to quickly unfasten the buttons that littered his chest. If he would've known how hard this outfit was to take off he wouldn't have worn it.

He still had his costume from when he and Billy dressed up as Bill and Ted for Halloween. That would've been an easier alternative. Finally, there was enough room for Billy to slip his hand beneath the fabric of his briefs. "You look so hot right now." Stu rasped against his lover's lips. Praise was something Stu loved to give you had learned that very quickly. Although the few times he tried it with Billy the man quickly shut it down.

This time however Billy didn't stop him. If his hand wasn't wrapped around his cock right now Stu would've paid more attention to the change in behavior. Billy pulled his hand away to spit in his palm. His lips quickly returned to Stu's as his hand stroked his partner's cock making sure to cover his shaft with his spit.

You watched their every move trying to focus but Billy's hand between your thighs made it incredibly difficult. His fingers pulled your panties to the side before sliding up and down your folds. He smiled into his kiss at how wet you already were.

Without hesitation, his two fingers pushed into you curling upwards as they moved. "Oh!" You called gripping the man's wrist. Billy's hand sped up as he pumped Stu's cock. Every little moan that left Stu's mouth made Billy throb against his tight leather pants. "That's so good right there." Stu continued to encourage Billy wondering how far he could go until he was forced to his knees. Billy just moaned getting off on his lover's words. "Babe!" Your back lurched as his fingertips prodded a certain spot within you. He poked and massaged that spongy spot feeling you spasm around his fingers.

Billy's thumb began to rub what he thought were circles over your clit. The erratic shapes made your abdomen tighten. Stu started to thrust into Billy's hand forcing his movements to be more aggressive. Stu tugged on Billy's bottom lip earning something similar to a whimper for the usually dominant male.

You were going to warn Billy that you couldn't do this much longer but before you could form the words your whole body convulsed. "That was too easy," Billy said turning his head towards you watching you grip the counter. Your orgasm hit so hard you had to wonder where you were for a moment. It had never been so easy and definitely never that quick.

"Excuse me." You said politely before sliding off the sink counter. Both men watched as you sunk to your knees in front of them. Billy's cock was visible through his leather pants down to the veins. You licked a stipe against the fabric getting a shaky moan in return. Billy continued to pump Stu's cock while you pulled him from his confines. With no prep work, you wrapped your lips around his tip. Billy's head fell back as your tongue circled the warm flesh. A bead of precum sat along his slit before you smeared the liquid with your tongue. Stu watched you greedily take Billy's cock with a little jealousy.

It was like you could read his mind. Your free hand replaced Billy's on Stu's cock. Stu inched closer letting you easily lick both of them. While your mouth covered one your hand would pump the other. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see them holding hands. You tried not to smile given the fact your lips were locked around Stu.

The pigment on the inside of your lips slowly stained the base of each of their cocks. Apparently, transfer-proof lipstick wasn't made to stay on during such an act. The tips of their cocks rubbed against each other as your tongue traced patterns over both of them. Stu tried to hold off but it all quickly became too much for him. Cum slowly spilled from him filling your mouth as some fell to the floor. Billy watched you hold your mouth open for Stu and the sight made his vision blur. With a strained moan he came shooting even more cum into your mouth. At that point, you had no choice but you stand up spitting the mouthful into the sink.

You felt a little bad thinking every woman was supposed to swallow. Neither of them cared. If anything seeing the aftermath running down your chin could easily get them going for a second round. Stu heaved trying to compose himself. Billy kept his eyes closed scared if he opened them he'd fall over. "Was that okay?" You asked looking at your boyfriends. Stu honestly wanted to shake you for asking such a dumb question. "The day I say no I want you to take me out back and shoot me you understand? And take that asshole too because I'm not letting him have you to himself." Stu's breath was labored but it didn't make his statement any less comedic.

"Fuck you." Billy huffed at Stu with a dopey smile on his face. Stu was the first to properly fix his clothes. You were busy trying to clean up your face dreading fixing Billy's.

Stu sat on the lip of the bathtub as you fixed Billy's face. You had to completely wash everything off from his nose down. The whole time Billy had a sated smile on his face. You thought Stu could wash off his face but no, he would rather have you do it. "Me next!" He jumped up like he was chosen for the price is right. Billy admired himself in the mirror. He was aware of the fact he was attractive he quite often used it to his advantage. Having his face covered and looking completely different than usual made him feel better. It was a refreshing change. The look wasn't scary considering you and Stu found it attractive. It was a shame he could only do this once a year.

"There, now I've got to fix my own makeup." You gently pushed Stu out of the way. "Can I do it?" He asked making Billy shake his head with a quiet laugh.

"What, my makeup?" Stu nodded his head up and down eagerly. You looked at your reflection seeing that the only thing that was messed up was your lipstick. "Sure just be careful." Stu grabbed the tube of lipstick you handed to him studying the red color. Stu cupped your face as you parted your lips. He slowly dragged the pigment over your lips making sure to stay between the lines. Stu pulled back looking at his work. "Hand me a piece of toilet paper so I can blot." His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "I have to get the excess off so it doesn't move around and it dries faster." Stu made a noise understanding what you meant. He handed you the paper watching curiously as you pressed your lips against the paper.

"Alright, what time is it?" You asked checking yourself in the mirror one more time. Billy stepped into your bedroom reading the clock out loud. "It's 7:23." The party started at eight so you had plenty of time. "Oh, I need someone to help wrap my arms," Billy said as he went downstairs for his roll of duct tape. "Wrap his arms?"

You turned to Stu. "It's part of the costume. You'll have to watch the movie, he's seen it a million times. I think it's whiny." Stu shrugged before leaving the bathroom. You followed the men downstairs deciding to leave your purse at home.

"You have your wallet right?" Billy nodded. "Never leave without it." He pulled the square from his back pocket. "Okay well, I'm leaving my purse so someone else is driving." Stu turned around quickly. "Not my car." He frowned. "You suck." He spat playfully. "We know that," Billy mumbled earning a laugh from Stu as he pointed towards you. "I'll remember that next time. Let's see whose knees are sore after I stop putting out." Billy looked over at Stu while you mocked the boy's flamboyant behavior. "You know I can't even argue with that. I can say however that my head game is better."

Billy handed you the roll of tape staying out of this conversation. He pointed to where the tape needed to go. As you wrapped his forearm you responded to Stu. "Why is that?" You asked. Billy knew better than to complain or critique anything he was getting for free.

"Cause I'm a man duh. I mean I have a dick so I know my way around one." He threw himself down on the couch next to his mask. "You can't even brush your teeth without gagging." You added running a piece of tape around his thumb. Billy nodded agreeing with that fact. "He's not used to brushing his teeth that's all." You laughed at Billy's joke. "Eat my ass! I brush my teeth almost once a day." Billy pointed at the man with his thumb as you wrapped his other arm. "Almost?" The concern in your voice mixed with fear.

"I get busy." He tried to defend himself but it didn't help. "At least I wash my hair. Billy's got pomade from last week sitting in his hair." Once again he threw his friend under the bus. "You're not supposed to wash your hair every day it make it dry. There's a reason I don't have dandruff." At this point, you wanted to block out their conversation.

"Both of you are mildly disgusting but I prefer greasy hair to bad breath." You finished wrapping Billy's other arm after you spoke. "Hey! I use mouthwash." You almost rubbed your face before you remembered your makeup. With a sigh, you walked to the front door. "Let's just go before I break up with both of you nasty asses."

Part 18

Taglist (closed): @katie-tibo @agustdeeyaa @bowlofceral @gonnapermashift @tati-the-fangirl @kozumewhore @tatijoestar @illyanam1011 @c4rved-pumpk1n @msghostface @gojosbucket @sammanna @lokigirlszendaya @reneki @fetusharryluvr @kadu-5607 @pumpk1n-writes @lovekeeho @zeysartzone @life-of-music3 @flyestvenustrap @littleblondesoprano @loomiscorpse @nicciekawegosblog @reneemunson @miss-puregotti @ksgsfsgaj @zoleea-exultant @briefwinnerpersonaturtle @mistydreamscape @l4venderia @nex-crowley @ashreblogsnow @brynaa223 @your-desire666 @billyloomiswhore4 @holyladyofsorrows @megluv1 @ellieswifeiya @yoluvrz @forallthstarsinthesky @madsothree @youcantbesirius @lubunnii @captainhowdysseptum @geekygremlin @madneedshelp

[indigovigilance]

When They Became Their Own Side

Can I just say that gif-clipping the scenes to make this meta broke my heart all over again so good job JF, NG, MS & DT.

Anyways.

I'm going to discuss the major contenders for "the scene in which Aziraphale and Crowley became their own side," and then tell you when I think it happened, below the cut:

Identifying the Third Side

By the time you clicked "Keep reading" you probably had a scene in mind. I'm going to predict it was this:

Which is an extremely strong contender, though frankly this entire scene is filled with character-trajectory changing lines (Satan bless you JF), so I'll take it as within-error-limits if you picked anything immediately adjacent to this.

The reasoning behind it is solid: Aziraphale knows, on a spiritual level, that he is not on Heaven's team anymore. He fully expects to go to Hell. He's ready.

But he finds out that he's not going to Hell. Despite Crawley's statement that nothing has to change, we know that everything has changed for Aziraphale. Neither truly a part of Heaven nor or Hell, he now knows that he occupies the liminal third space, a realm that has been home to Crawley for quite some time. Yes, it is lonely, but maybe a little less lonely than it was before, or would have been; where once there was only one, now there are two. By the end of this scene, they both know that they are on the same side, a third side, and the pain of separation that entails. But being and knowing are different things, and I would argue that Aziraphale was on Crowley's side before he realized it, which means we have to go further back.

The Revelation of Confluence

Maybe you thought of this:

...and this scene is a great choice, because as of this moment Aziraphale knows (and Crowley knows he knows) that they have a confluence of goals and morals. Every action in the rest of Book of Job is based on the common understanding and trust relationship they establish in this scene. But again, did they need to know that they were on the same side to be on the same side? Their moral compasses would still have aligned and they would still be working for common purpose even if Aziraphale had not uncovered the ruse. I would still say we could go further back.

Establishing Loyalty

Perhaps, trying to beat me to the punch, you went back so far that you went off the page, so to speak, to Before the Beginning:

A rare but solid choice, and entirely defensible. Aziraphale has just met Crowley and rather than ratting him out or letting him face the very just and deserved consequences that the Almighty would exact upon such a divergent, free-thinking celestial, Aziraphale gives him advice to keep him safe. He is protecting the Starmaker from Heaven, which seems to put him on the Starmaker's side in opposition to Heaven. Aziraphale's first loyalty is to his principles, stretching his proverbial wing over the Starmaker to shield him from the reign of the Almighty, and no, that wasn't a spelling mistake. We see as well that the Starmaker, quite explicitly, puts his principles first. In this way the two are similarly defective (in the sense that they are defectors), but their principles don't strictly overlap here. Neither of them are fully on Heaven's side, but it would be a stretch to say that they are on the same side.

More importantly, the Starmaker isn't really on anyone's side; the Starmaker doesn't even seem to be aware that there are sides! Just a project that would benefit from some suggestions, a fresh point of view. So they certainly aren't on Aziraphale's side. But the fact that Aziraphale has tried to protect them is important, and I will reference it later, so hang onto that thought.

Forming Trust

Maybe you're a real dreamer, and your beautiful brain lighted upon this scene:

Absolutely brilliant, tumblrite, because Aziraphale isn't even going to tell God that he gave away the flaming sword to a pregnant girl, in fact he'll lie about it to every angel he encounters until the end of days.

But he told Crawley.

Aziraphale puts his fate in this demon's hands when he shares this; after all, what's to stop the serpent of Eden from ratting him out and getting him into Big Trouble? But the thought that Crawley might betray him never seems to occur to Aziraphale, and it seems that his trust is well-placed, because as we know, Crawley will never betray this confidence.

Taken in combination with Before the Beginning, Aziraphale has both kept secrets for the Starmaker and entrusted Crawley with his own secret. This bilateral trust bond is the foundation that "our side" will be built upon.

Nonetheless, up on that wall, Aziraphale still wonders if he's done the right thing, and takes reassurance that yes, being an angel and doing the right thing go hand in hand. After this, Aziraphale will continue to make choices that betray his principles, opting to instead follow the Will of God (see: the Flood). He is on Heaven's side, and whatever Crawley may be, it isn't that.

I think we can safely say that as of this moment, Crawley (besides being head over heels in love), who is already on his own side, is ready to welcome Aziraphale into that space with him, but that Aziraphale isn't taking him up on the invitation yet.

So while it's true that they have a unique bond as of this scene, it still isn't a side.

When Aziraphale accepts the invitation to the Third Side

Sure, Crowley has been on Aziraphale's side since the moment he invented heart eyes in the Garden of Eden, but Aziraphale didn't join Crowley's side until this exact moment:

We were all a little too busy being pissed at Gabriel for this line to realize that he single-handedly brought together the greatest power couple above or below the Earth.

We are simply not stopping Hell.

What they do is up to them.

Aziraphale has exhausted all his options appealing to Heaven to save Job's children, and in this moment, he realizes (because Gabriel tells him directly) that if he wants to save them, he's going to have to go behind Heaven's back to do it.

Crawley and Aziraphale aren't even in the same room. But Aziraphale, at this moment, has turned his back on Heaven and joined Crawley's team.

Crawley just doesn't know it yet.

But Aziraphale is about to go down there and tell him:

A few other meta-analysts have written on the topic of equivocation: communicating in deliberately ambiguous ways so that the person across from you understands your meaning and any unseen spectators do not. (I personally learned this term from @cobragardens, in this meta, and @ao3cassandraic's discussion of kayfabe is a closely related topic)

We should interpret the ensuing scene (which deserves a meta all its own, like this one by @majortomyourcurcuitsdead) through that lens. "You don't have to" and "I know you" are all, on their face, harmless statements, but are all equivocation for:

We are on the same side.

Crowley is understandably wary, and isn't about to let Aziraphale know that he's been clocked. But whatever pretense that he was maintaining dissolves right about here:

Circling back to the top, yes, this is the moment that they each know they know. But knowing that they were on the same side was not a necessary condition of being on the same side. Aziraphale, when he made the decision that any further appeal to Heaven was futile, and that he must appeal instead to Crawley for mercy, had already jumped into the liminal with both feet.

Crawley will try to deny it, but they both know what's up:

In Summary

This distinction may not be important, but the theme of sides is so strong that this felt like a topic worth exploring.

The argument that Aziraphale enters and exits the third team is also a very defensible one; he will denounce and then rejoin Crowley across the millennia to come. But the first time he makes the decision that he will work with Crawley to collude against Heaven and Hell occurs at the very moment when Gabriel tells him that that is the only remaining option if he wants to do the right thing.

Which raises the question: was offering Satan a contract to terrorize Job, assigning a morally ambiguous demon to execute it, and sending in a renegade angel to thwart it all part of the Ineffable Plan?

I'll let you decide.

[gourmetofglut]

The Mischaracterization of Ferris: A thread analyzing Re: Zero's most misinterpreted and overlooked character.

Note: This is a re-edit of a thread I wrote on Twitter. I recently decided to start using Tumblr a bit more. Since I've also been wanting to back up most of my threads, I figured I might as well move everything here. This is the first re-edit I'll be posting on this site. It was one of my favorites to write, so I hope it's enjoyable!

Side story spoilers for the entire thread. Arc 8 spoilers in the speculation section (will be marked since so many people aren't caught up).

For novel readers of Re: Zero, Ferris stands as one of the most divisive characters in the fandom. Considering his poor utilization in the anime and his role in the story within Arc 3, it's easy to see why.

On one hand, Ferris is one of the most outwardly aggressive characters toward Subaru in Arc 3. He makes no secret of his disdain from the start and consistently throws jabs at him every opportunity he gets. This behavior can certainly leave a negative first impression.

On the other hand, Ferris is quite a fascinating character who serves an important role within the narrative of Arc 3. He doesn't let Subaru off as easy as everyone else, which is exactly what makes seeing him grow respect for Subaru satisfying.

Whichever opinion you hold, that’s mostly irrelevant today. Instead, I will be simply discussing his character and his role in the story, as well as arguing in favor of many of his merits that people overlook.

Ferris's primary role is similar to all the Royals Candidates' knights: serving as a foil for Subaru. I've explained the similarities between Subaru and the other knights before, but to sum it up as quickly as possible all 3 of them represent a version of what Subaru could be.

Reinhard is a version of what Subaru could've been if he were the typical isekai protagonist, Julius is a lot more complicated but he’s essentially what Subaru could've been if he were granted enough power to face his enemies on even ground, and Al is Subaru if he had been just a bit unlucky in where he had been sent; becoming someone who struggles to care and abuses his powers to the fullest.

Ferris is much the same, though it can be argued he parallels Subaru the hardest, except for maybe Al. The resemblance on paper between the two is uncanny. They are both physically weak men who often don't fit traditional gender roles and have the sole desire of helping a woman they love to achieve her dreams of becoming a Royal Candidate, no matter the personal costs to themselves.

To do this, they use an extraordinary power unique to them (in Subaru's case RB, and in Ferris' case his magic that is relative in power to an authority). Their need to rely on others for victory is a source of immense mental turmoil and often leaves them full of self-loathing.

They place immense value in the lives of others, even those who have or will harm them, to the point that they are willing to be harmed to help them. Seeing others casually disregard the lives of others serves as one of the things that anger them the most.

They are both prone to obsessively possessive behavior and have sometimes even directed it towards the one they love. This often leads to them getting in trouble due to their jealousy.

There are more similarities I could point out, but you get the point.

Where am I going with this though? Ferris is clearly a parallel to Subaru, but what does he represent regarding him? Put simply, I believe Ferris is meant to represent what Subaru could've been if his parents were just a bit different.

Parent and Child is one of the most crucial chapters for informing us about just the kind of person Subaru is. Perhaps the most important piece is how it helps us understand just how much of his current personality is a result of his father. Subaru not only looked up to him but actively mimicked him to achieve his goals. The pressure of the surrounding world caused him to default to trying to be his father instead of who he truly was. Subaru's parents weren't perfect. In fact, they were very flawed people. Regardless of this fact though, they are responsible for many of Subaru's positive traits.

The same is true for Ferris and his shitbag of a father. If you were to ask any novel reader what Ferris' defining trait as a character is, they would probably say anger or bitterness.

This isn't surprising, as that's how he typically acts towards everyone except Crusch and Fourier, even when it comes to friends such as Julius.

I would argue, however, that this is merely an act he defaults to when he is stressed or angry, similar to Subaru's mimicry of his own father.

During his bitter moments, such as his cold statement to Subaru as he leaves Crusch's mansion in Arc 4, Ferris is merely defaulting to what he has learned to be the best method of dealing with his stress...a method that is eerily similar to how Biehn sometimes acts in EX 1.

Whether Ferris acknowledges it or not, his attitude at his worst moments makes him come off like his father. He can be cruel, sometimes even callous. He shows intense rage when he doesn't get his way and attacks the part of his opponent that is most vulnerable.

This attitude can blind him to the point that he can even hypocritically act racist towards Emilia. Ferris' entire life has been defined by discrimination. In the face of someone he should know has faced many of the same issues, he once again acts almost exactly like his own father.

It was in the middle of a mental breakdown, but that does not excuse him just like it does not excuse Subaru.

Speaking of his parents, it's also notable how their inability to connect with Ferris parallels Naoko and Kenichi's struggles with Subaru.

Ferris' dad is a bombastic, loud man who was (once) well-respected and causes many of Ferris's issues through his actions and Ferris' emulation of him. His fatal flaw in the end was that he could not understand Ferris, similar to how Kenichi could not fully understand Subaru.

Ferris' mom, on the other hand, fully understood the distress he was under but did not have the confidence to interfere or make a change as Ferris wasted away, similar to Naoko's inability to help Subaru when he most needed it.

That's not to say Kenichi or Naoko are even a thousandth as bad as either of those two, but their struggles with their child deeply parallel each other.

Back on track though, I want to highlight a bit more of Ferris' parallels with his father using perhaps the most damning example.

This specific scene is from "The Saga of the Great Crusch-sama Begins." When faced with his mother, whom he hates so much, he attempts to stab her in the chest. Crusch gets caught in the crossfire causing Felix to freak out and unlock his water magic to save her.

What can at first be written off as just a unique origin for Ferris' water magic gets recontextualized hard in EX 1, where it's revealed his father killed his mother in the exact same method.

It's such an eerie similarity and something that I feel gets overlooked too often when discussing Ferris.

As shown in scenes like the one above, Ferris often projects this image of hatred, bitterness, and malice. It's easy to write that off as just the kind of person he is as so many often do...

...but there's obviously more to it than this. There is far more to Ferris than his mimicry of his father.

Ferris doesn't allow himself to be vulnerable very often in the story. Only when he is with Fourier and Crusch, as well as when he is in the most intense moments of crisis, does he show who he actually is. Stress is the best test of character after all.

The best example to me? His confrontation with the father he so often emulates.

If Ferris was actually as vindictive as he so often outwardly acts, how would you expect him to react to the death of a man he hated so much?

Wouldn't he taunt him? Wouldn't he make his last moments a living hell? Wouldn't he crow in pleasure at his agony? Would you be able to even blame Ferris if he made Biehn's last moments hell?

You would expect that...but that's not how he reacts. At that moment, watching as the man who tortured him so much dies an awful death, he just shows sadness. He thinks about the possibility that they could've just worked things out. He just wishes that things could be different.

Despite everything his father had done to him, despite all the rage at the world Ferris projects, the moment he is put into a scenario he likely dreamed of he can't help but feel pity that this was the only route he could take. He never wanted to hurt even Biehn of all people.

And this, I believe, is Ferris's actual defining trait underneath his persona of cynicism and bitterness: kindness and a greater love for life than perhaps anyone else in the series.

Ferris's power, as Fourier once said, is the kindest in the world. At his core, Ferris is just as kind as his power.

Think about it. Despite Ferris's words, what is the thing that upsets him most?

People who waste their lives. Whether it be Subaru, Fourier, a random Vollachian guard, or even Witch Cultists...Ferris can't bring himself to watch life be thrown away. It just hurts him, regardless of how horrible the person is.

Just like Subaru, Ferris wants to help everyone, even if it costs him so much. The pain that he feels when he is unable to do so is immeasurable, as Subaru himself states in Volume 8. He is struggling with the same realization as Subaru: saving some people is impossible.

So where will this lead? What does this have to do with the themes of the story? Well, to answer that, I’ll have to take a little diversion to talk about one of the more…difficult topics involving Ferris.

Ferris and his relationship with gender is something that I feel a lot of the fanbase is really fucking weird about. Even ignoring the pretty deep-rooted transphobia in a lot of discussions involving him (he isn't trans, but he is heavily trans-coded and there really shouldn't be so much of an issue in letting people read into that), there's a feverish desire to deny that his status as a person not conforming to gender norms matters at all. All too often, people reduce it to just a fetish or something to make jokes about.

The reason this is such a bafflingly stupid take though is because of how blatant the importance is to anyone who has read EX 1. Even Tappei himself has stated that many of the things he wants to do with Ferris could not be done without this aspect of his character.

Ferris's non-conformance is part of a promise made with Crusch. Ferris took on her femininity while Crusch took on his masculinity. It's a promise between the two that proves their devotion to one another. It's the ultimate symbol of their affection for one another.

In Aganau IF Ferris dresses and acts more masculine, precisely because his connection to Crusch no longer exists.

I'd also argue it's why he continues to dress as he does even when Crusch no longer has her memories, desperately holding onto the literal symbol of the bond between them.

However, unlike Crusch who seems to love who she is both when taking on more masculine and feminine traits, finding a balance between them; Ferris can't do the same. He sees it merely as a means to show his devotion rather than something he does for himself.

He constantly expresses that it is all for Crusch and Crusch alone. If anything he seems to resent his inability to fulfill any kind of masculine role, as shown once again in his conversation with Biehn in EX 1.

When pushed to finally unleash all his true feelings to Biehn, what does he bring up as the main reason for his resentment? His abuse? His coldness? His murder of his mother? Any of the innumerable unforgivable things Biehn has done to him?

No. Ferris points at his body. He anguishes over his skinny arms, his inability to wield a sword, his lack of muscle, and his lack of fighting prowess. He hates his lack of masculine features and how he's unable to live up to his idea of what Crusch's knight should be.

He literally sees his masculinity as something stolen from him by his father; leaving him so empty that he needed something else to fill that void.

Crusch gave him something to fill that void. Crusch gave him a way to live. Crusch filled his soul...but he still resents what he "has" to be.

Now does that mean he resents Crusch? No, of course not. But he does resent that this is the only thing he can do for her; the only person he can be. Deep down, he doesn't seem to want to be the way he is, and instead of trying to change that he gives in to despair.

He's stuck in that hatred, in that desire to meet Crusch's expectations, and in that moment where a starving child begged to be released and was finally brought into the light. In many ways, he acts like a child.

This is quite literally represented in him preventing himself from going through puberty; a symbol in many stories of transitioning from childhood to adulthood. He sees his current form as a shackle whether he realizes it or not.

Now does that mean that Ferris should disregard his femininity entirely? Throwing away the representation of his love for Crusch and something that has defined him for so long seems as self-destructive as staying stuck. What's the solution? Where is his arc going?

Well, before that, I want to cover one last thing before I have to delve into Arc 8 spoilers. There's a bit of a side tangent I want to go on.

With everything I've been able to point out up to here, it's clear that Ferris is a remarkably complex character. There's so much to read into and talk about.

So why is he so hated?

He's so similar to Subaru, possibly the most popular character in the novel fandom. Despite all the claims of him being the worst and me highlighting his character's flaws, he hasn't done anything more morally dubious than the vast majority of characters in this series, even when he was pushed to the edge. This is especially true when compared to some of the most popular characters like Subaru or Roswaal. Hell, characters even more directly belligerent than Ferris like Priscilla don't get half the hate (though Priscilla's perception has...its own issues).

Why does he get disregarded so often? Why is he often treated as shallow fetish fuel? Why is he just reduced to being an asshole in every discussion that involves him?

Well, I have a few I can point out.

The first is, most obviously, misinformation. A large portion of the novel reader base has not read Arcs 1-4 in the LN and has very warped views of some of the characters in that section of the story. Ferris is just the most blatant example.

I can't count the number of times I've heard people just blatantly lie about or exaggerate what Ferris did in Arc 3. From the "mana bomb" that has LITERALLY no basis in the text to the "brainwashing" scene treated as a comedy bit that is exaggerated to hell, people go out of their way to interpret him in the worst light possible.

Many of the people who haven't read those sections then see Ferris's ribbing of Subaru in Arc 5 and then run with those pieces of misinformation; spreading it to the point that many believe some blatant lies to be fact.

The second is simply that a lot of people in the fandom don't read the side stories. I don't particularly blame a lot of these people, as there is a lot to get through, but there are a lot of people who take advantage of this for...certain reasons.

This leads to the third point...shipping. Ferris suffers from "Die for our ship" syndrome (https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DieForOurShip…). A lot of people like Crusch x Subaru and Crusch loves Ferris so that ends up being more than enough for some people to hate him.

That's not representative of even close to every Crusch x Subaru shipper, of course, it's just a notable trend that it's hard to pretend doesn't exist with some of them.

All of these factors often go hand-in-hand with the final factor: the fandom's immense double standards when it comes to certain characters.

I'm not going to go into deep detail with this as it would distract from the main point of the thread...but you know what I mean if you've interacted with the community for a significant period of time. It also doesn't help that many of the same people in this category tend to be incredibly bigoted.

Ferris isn't the only character subjected to these double standards, as characters like Emilia and Ram often face similar purposeful misinterpretations, but his frequently unfair critiques have affected his reputation negatively perhaps more than any other.

This isn't to say that this is all true for everyone who hates Ferris. There are numerous reasons you may just not be interested in his character.

However, I feel it's dishonest to pretend Ferris isn't often targeted far more than other characters for often lacking reasons.

With that out of the way, I can move on to the last thing I wanted to cover in this thread. I have established a lot here, so I want to speculate about the future.

From this point forward there are unmarked Arc 8 spoilers, so...you can't argue I wasn't careful. I don't blame you at all for leaving now and I thank you for reading my ramblings.

*

*

*

Are you still here? Ok, let's start.

With all of the above established, I want to return to the question of where Ferris' arc will go in the future. My belief? I think it will be something similar to what Pre-Amnesia Crusch has already realized, with Felix’s closest parallel in Subaru being close to doing the same.

Crusch, as I mentioned before, has found balance in the two aspects of her life. Throughout the story, she switches seamlessly between the two without a second thought. She is comfortable and happy with both parts of herself.

Subaru is also on a similar path. He feels most comfortable in embracing his feminine side, idealizing it through Natsumi. All his confidence is channeled into that persona, while the other two aspects of his personality (his main self who has all the self-worth of an abandoned puppy and his child self who is representative of his more masculine traits) are imbalanced.

Arc 8 seems to be going in a direction where he realizes how important all of these aspects of him are. All 3 have flaws. None of them are "complete," just pieces of the coherent whole that is Natsuki Subaru.

I believe a similar thing will happen with Ferris.

He will need to find a balance between Ferris, his feminine side that has defined him for so long, and Felix the masculine identity he craves. He needs to find a role that makes him as happy as Crusch was, accepting who he is while striving to become who he wants to be.

I don't expect that to be easy though. In fact, I think the path to get there will be immensely messy and self-destructive.

The idea of Ferris having a breakdown or lashing out has been well-foreshadowed throughout the story. He has had numerous smaller outbursts and has displayed similar problems to Arc 3 Subaru when pushed to an extreme. There's a large amount of toxicity in him that will rush out, sooner or later. It will likely take similar levels of suffering to force him to get a grip, possibly hurting Crusch in the process.

Who do I believe to be the trigger for this? My best guess is Capella.

It is quite possible Capella freed Sphinx and recreated her arms initially. Why would she do this? Why not? We're seeing firsthand how much of a monster Sphinx can be with the Sacrament of the Immortal King. Why wouldn't someone like Capella want something like that under her control?

Of course, Sphinx is almost certainly dying soon. Capella will need a replacement, and who's the only other potential user of the Sacrament? Ferris.

There's also the idea that Capella may have poisoned the Royal Family and, most importantly, Fourier. If Capella does become the main antagonist for Ferris, that could serve as motivation for him to want her dead regardless of his own reservations about killing.

Adding onto this is the fact that shapeshifting is a power with a long history of being associated with identity issues. Tappei likes making his antagonists strong narrative foils to his protagonists, so it would be interesting to contrast Ferris' identity issues with the potentially strong identity issues of Capella.

Finally, there's a lot of potential for her tragic past to parallel Ferris' past, with many implications that the Royal Family may not exactly have treated Emerada the best. The idea that the Royal Family may have locked her away is not implausible and it could make their connections even stronger.

Whatever that breakdown leads to, I expect Crusch and/or Subaru to be the one who snaps him out of it. This will likely be the catalyst that forces Ferris to find a balance. He'll need to let go of things like his self-blame over being unable to help Fourier, his internalized hatred of his current identity, his idealization of Crusch, and his need to save everyone. Ferris's love will finally allow him to grow and change into a person who is the middle ground between his desires and his true self.

After all, that's what Re: Zero is truly about: love and growth. Almost every character reflects this and, if my interpretation of Ferris is right, he could embody that theme just as much as Subaru himself does.

He could be a shining bastion of what this story is all about.

Of course, this is all just my interpretation and speculation. If you disagree with it, feel free to. I just hope I was able to make you appreciate Ferris a bit more/changed your mind on how much potential his character has.

I wish whoever is reading this a nice day!