#though someday i'll change my icon

[good-beanswrites]

I've been thinking about alien stage and milgram so

All in (Hyuna and Till) but it's with Kotoko and Fuuta

OOHH I've been going crazy over this -- I've only touched on Milgram/Alien Stage aus a bit but now I'm hooked 👀 I was playing around for a while with how to incorporate the song specifically, and had a ton of fun with this lyric/scene experiment, haha! I was shocked at how well the song would suit them even in Milgram canon... I used gender neutral descriptions for the Mizi-character because I'm not sure who people would picture for that role, and wanted to leave it open. Also um. tw major character death :( sorry.

Your eyes grow wide at my dazzling entrance, and your heart beats fast, OK! There's no point fighting back – this is the march of the fools.

The rebel leader stands proudly on the stage. Her followers practically howl at her arrival. Their gathering spot may have been a secret, but they didn’t bother being quiet about their excitement. The tides are turning, and everyone feels it. It doesn’t matter what kind of front the aliens put up; everyone knows the fear that their leader strikes into her enemies. Every planet, moon, and ship knows what she’s capable of. They know that going up against her brass knuckles will only have one outcome for them. No matter the cost, Yuzuriha Kotoko will come out on top.

Endless cheer and applause – I hear the song grow louder and louder. Fill up the entire nebula!

The contestant brings his guitar down with all the force he can muster, sparks flying out and scorching his hands. The audience roars at the display. He’s tired of all those eyes watching him, but at least he’s making them all watch as he destroys some little piece of them. For now, they only find morbid curiosity in his fruitless rage, but someday he’ll sing loud enough, act loud enough, scream loud enough that the galaxy will be forced to hear him. To alien and human alike, the face of Kajiyama Fuuta is an icon of rebellion.

Just laugh, hey kick and break ya! To the galaxy shining bright, chi-cheers. Change the game with a single action. Trust me and I'll show you, chi-cheers.

Kotoko’s boot cracks bones on impact. It wasn’t even her steel leg that had rendered her enemy into this mess. The alleyway is too hidden and the neon city street too distracted for anyone to hear the alien’s final cries at her feet. Her team catches up with her, breathless with exertion and shock at the victim she leaves in her wake. As soon as she holds up what they came here to get, all doubt leaves them. Their ship will echo with celebration tonight.

We only get one life, so I'm living mine for me, cause I'm the one from your wildest dreams. I'll create a fantasy in this crazy world and change it all, I'm going all-in. 

“Ha-ha –!” Fuuta hasn’t heard himself laugh in a long time. It isn’t a pleasant sound, and neither is the chaos that follows as the fight escalates. But damn, did it feel good. The lights of the paparazzi blind him as he’s yanked out of a magnetic train car. The crowd deafens him. The aliens around him bruise and break him down. But he holds tight to the things deep in his mind. He imagines himself as a shining hero. He thinks of them – his own hero. He conjures up a world that’s better for both of them. It’s for this reason he wrenches his arm away from those holding him back. Though his collar buzzes with electricity, he takes another swing.

A universe brimming with dreams… Who will remain standing at the end of it all? Don't you wanna know? Caught within rules without rules, a bird is set free. I hear the song grow louder, fill up the entire nebula!

As the glass shatters around her, Kotoko can’t help but savor the moment suspended in the air. Given her many escapes over the years, she hadn’t been worried about making it out in one piece. And yet her heart races each time she tastes freedom again. She lands on her feet, pausing to make sure her newest recruit is keeping up. Kotoko flashes a wide, toothy smile at them, and they return it shakily. They seem a bit shaken by all the blood that had been spilled on the way, but Kotoko is proud of how quickly they’ve adapted to this liberated lifestyle. She’s riding the thrill of success, knowing she’s changed the outcome of Alien Stage once again. Another weak human saved from their captors. Another victory.

Just laugh, hey kick and break ya! To the galaxy shining bright, chi-cheers. Change the game with a single action. Trust me and I'll show you, chi-cheers.

Smoke chokes Fuuta’s lungs, but it doesn’t hold him back. The private dinner room is full of the rich and powerful as they eat, smoke, and laugh at humans’ expense. They place bets on the upcoming competition rounds. They harass Fuuta to perform for them, eyes of all shapes and colors boring into him. Through the haze and dim lights, the spark of resistance is burning as bright as always. He dares to talk back at a figure who is not used to being talked back to. Fuuta dodges a few strikes, even getting in a few kicks of his own before he’s overwhelmed with a blow to his right eye. 

We only get one life, so I'm living mine for me, cause I'm the one from your wildest dreams. I'll create a fantasy in this crazy world and change it all, I'm going all-in.

Kotoko tries to hide her snarl at the massive advertisement screens they pass. Even flying by at these speeds, she gets a clear look at the Alien Stage champion and his coy smile. It churns her stomach. She had always wondered why any contestant would willingly stand up there and sing, knowing it would get someone else killed. They were complicit in murder, if you asked her. But this man – his actions were far more than “complicit.” The face of a tiny girl flashes through her mind. For a moment, she’s lost in a vision of the girl by her side – still laughing, still carefree in the world that Kotoko is working towards. Reality returns to her. She discharges her weapon directly into an alien’s face.

Every obstacle in my way, I've crushed them all. Step all over me but I'll rise again. It's you who's in the wrong, bet you had no idea.

The lights go up, and Fuuta sways on his feet. He finds himself instantly winded as he starts to sing. The heat from the show’s pyrotechnics make him even dizzier. His good eye surveys the crowd. He would not let these villains win. They took the people he cared about. They took the people who cared about him. Hell, they even took his guitar. He knows that by the end, they’ll take his life, too. It’s all the more reason to continue. He sees now that his intensity had inspired others, even if it hadn’t saved them. Fuuta refuses to go down quietly. He refuses to stop singing. He opens his mouth:

“Hey!”

Kotoko shouts it after the new recruit, but their mind is made up. She’s left clutching at her injury and frantically typing on the huge machine, trying to complete their original mission. The screen streaming the event flashes with images of the redhead pouring his heart out onstage. Kotoko lets out a strangled sound of frustration and stands to follow.

Just laugh, hey kick and break ya! To the galaxy shining bright, chi-cheers. Change the game with a single action. Trust me and I'll show you, chi-cheers. Whatever comes to mind, give it a chance. Contemplate all you want, won't change a thing. 

Blood pools around the losing contestant. All that shouting and he can’t even choke out a goodbye, now. The intruder stands in the one place she spent her life fighting tooth and nail to escape forever. They lock eyes. They’d only heard accounts of the other, but in that brief moment, they understand. They are just two humans, two loud humans, who had a vision of how bright the universe could be someday. Despite it all, they both ended up here, doomed to die on this stage after singing out to an uncaring audience. Fuuta’s gaze slips away. He offers one last smile to his hero. For the first and last time, he is content.  Kotoko turns her attention away from them, to the audience. She clenches her fists and feels very far from content.

Don’t you dare stop now –

Justice assemble! Till the end –

Ride the waves of passing time, and run with the wind 'til morning, don't stop.

[perspectivestarters]

Perspective's Sentence Starters; 1989 (Taylor's Version) by Taylor Swift (Part III)

"SLUT!"

Being this young is art.

What if all I need is you?

Got love-struck, went straight to my head.

Got lovesick all over my bed.

Love to think you’ll never forget.

Lovelorn and nobody knows

I'll pay the price, you won't.

If I’m all dressed up, they might as well be lookin' at us.

If they call me a slut, you know it might be worth it for once.

If I'm gonna be drunk, I might as well be drunk in love.

Everyone wants him, that was my crime.

The wrong place at the right time.

In a world of boys, he's a gentleman.

We’ll pay the price, I guess.

This is luxury.

You're not sayin' you're in love with me.

It might blow up in your pretty face.

SAY DON'T GO

I've known it from the very start, we’re a shot in the darkest dark.

It won't stop.

Halfway out the door, but it won't close

I'm holdin' out hope for you.

Say, "Don't go".

I would stay forever if you say, "Don't go".

Why'd you have to lead me on?

Why’d you have to twist the knife?

Walk away and leave me bleedin’?

Why’d you whisper in the dark just to leave me in the night?

Now your silence has me screamin'.

You kiss me and it stops time.

I'm yours, but you're not mine.

Why'd you have to make me want you?

Why'd you have to give me nothin' back?

Why'd you have to make me love you?

I said, "I love you".

NOW THAT WE DON'T TALK

I heard from everybody.

You part the crowd like the Red Sea.

Did you get anxious though, on the way home?

I guess I'll never, ever know.

You grew your hair long.

You got new icons.

From the outside it looks like you're tryin' lives on.

I miss the old ways.

You didn't have to change.

I guess I don't have a say.

She said that it was for the best.

The more I gave, you'd want me less.

I cannot be your friend.

I pay the price of what I lost.

What do you tell your friends we shared dinners, long weekends with?

I can't pretend it's platonic.

She said to get it off my chest.

Remind myself the way you faded 'til I left.

I don't have to pretend I like acid rock.

Guess maybe I am better off now that we don't talk.

Guess this is how it has to be now that we don't talk.

SUBURBAN LEGENDS

You had people who called you on unmarked numbers in my peripheral vision.

All was quickly forgiven.

You were so magnetic, it was almost obnoxious.

I didn't come here to make friends.

We were born to be suburban legends.

When you hold me, it holds me together.

You kiss me in a way that's gonna screw me up forever.

I had the fantasy that maybe our mismatched star signs would surprise the whole school.

You'd be more than a chapter in my old diaries with the pages ripped out.

I know that you still remember.

We were born to be national treasures.

You told me we'd get back together.

I broke my own heart 'cause you were too polite to do it.

You don't knock anymore and my whole life's ruined.

IS IT OVER NOW?

You still wouldn't go.

Let's fast forward to three hundred takeout coffees later.

I see your profile and your smile on unsuspecting waiters.

You dream of my mouth before it called you a lying traitor.

You search in every maiden's bed for somethin' greater.

Was it over when she laid down on your couch?

Was it over when he unbuttoned my blouse?

Was it over then?

Is it over now?

Your new girl is my clone.

Did you think I didn't see you?

At least I had the decency to keep my nights out of sight.

Only rumors 'bout my hips and thighs and my whispered sighs.

Oh, Lord, I think about jumpin' off of very tall somethings just to see you come runnin'.

Say the one thing I've been wanting.

Let's fast forward to three hundred awkward blind dates later.

If she's got blue eyes, I will surmise that you'll probably date her.

You search in every model's bed for somethin' greater.

SWEETER THAN FICTION

You never saw it comin'.

Now you've come undone.

Wish I could make it better.

Someday, you won't remember this pain you thought would last forever and ever.

I will say, "I knew it all along".

This life is sweeter than fiction.

All you got are your shattered hopes.

They never saw it comin'.

Now you're on to somethin'.

Proved me right when you proved them wrong.

It's like we don't remember the rain we thought would last forever and ever.

All at once, the rest is history.

Look at you now.

You've made us proud.

You know that I'll be there time and again.

[gaywizardzone]

deliriously in love with your dgm fanart. i stumbled into a full course buffet. exquisite, splendid, 10/10 no notes. do you have any DGM fic recs, bc i have suitcases full of DGM recs,

ok first of all thank you so much!! dgm is i think the thing i've drawn the most fanart for in my life cumulatively? in many bursts of insanity over the years. lol. so i have a lot of fun drawing it and i'm very honored that you like what i've made so much. also re: your other ask my worstie and collaborator ozwuv and i are working on it together since you sent it to both of us (we made a joint google doc to combine our perspectives lol) so the answer might not come from me but you'll get one!

second of all i am kind of an old livejournal era hag in terms of my taste in fanfiction in general and my history with this series in particular, so there are exactly three things in here that are less than a decade old and two of them are from 2016. naturally this means that a lot of it is now divergent with some details of how the plot and characterization and etc has actually gone (sorry to everyone back in the day who thought kanda was looking for some missing sister or something. one truly could not have possibly seen all of that coming). that said they still hold up to me in terms of general character dynamics and being fun and well written and such. recommendations also depend on what you like! i will generally not put that much shipping in here because there aren't that many of those i've read and would recommend in the first place (no hate to our strong and beautiful yaoi warriors, i used to read nearly anything back in the day, it's just that not too much of it has stuck with me) but there are some things that are so iconic to me that i could not in good conscience not include them. lots of this is kanda-centric because i like him :) putting it all below the cut

Hard Living by metisket - the aforementioned ship fic that's too iconic not to include. changed my brain chemistry when i first read it many many years ago. i seriously considered making it the only thing i put on here for a second just for the bit. To Me this is actually such a classic that it transcends shipping. the humor is very sharp and funny and i'm so in love with the concept of dying young for them meaning getting old early first and having to deal with it all together. they're so damn hilarious. it should happen to them. it does in my dreams. it never will but in my head there will always be a world where it does <3 i love to draw fanart of them as old decrepit men at 35 and maybe i'll post some of it someday. obviously it was written pre-alma so you just have to accept that it's wildly inaccurate in that regard. anyway pretty much anything this author has written for dgm is really good, i will put a few more metisket favorites on this list but check it all out even if i didn't include it. also this particular one is the inspiration for my most favoritest kanda fic <3 below

Blooming From the Mud by zarinthel - this is not just me shilling fic by someone i know. i am an absolute kanda diehard and this is really THE fic for me in terms of like hitting all the things i love about him. zar number one kanda understander. incredibly funny and compelling i don't care if you don't know anything about bleach (i don't either i haven't read it since middle school) or that you haven't read the fic it's inspired by (though you should) or that it's unfinished. you all should and in fact must read it. kanda's life is both so sad and so hilarious because of how sad it is and his pov here is just so excellently funny because he really is such a funny individual. also not a slash fic though it does really highlight how close and kind of insane his and allen's relationship is in a way that i find extremely delightful and accurate and just wonderful. they make me sick (positive). really good. so if you're a non shipper but you care about them you should read it and if you're a shipper you will also certainly enjoy it anyway so you should read it. truly for everyone!

Chimera Obscurant by moonsheen - i tend to struggle with most kanda/alma fix-it fanwork i've encountered despite loving them dearly because i rarely feel like anyone evokes the way their relationship is both strong and a bit unsettling (at least to me) without swinging around into being too edgy (i fully admit i have not explored super deeply because i get frustrated easily so i'm sure there are things that would appeal to me that i'm missing). this is one of the very few things i've read for them that i've been like yes i think this is beginning to get at the kind of atmosphere i want to see. if i remember correctly this was written before kanda came back to drag allen into accepting support and friendship so i'm just like "oh whatever" about its incompatibility with that. fanwork for ongoing stuff truly creates divergent timelines in my head. anyway this is the most nsfw thing that will end up in here and it's not particularly explicit, but heads up that it is there in case you're averse to that

In his Heart by harukami - another kanda/alma but just kanda technically. i read this and was so delighted that i made a :D face in real life. i've assimilated this into my worldview like i think this is something he would do. he's crazy like that.

Economies of Scale by liketolaugh - last kanda and alma one but this one's here less for the romantic aspect and more because i'm so endeared by the idea of fresh out of the lab kanda being so angry and miserable but also completely blindsided by all the stuff there is in the world. ten year old who is learning about so many new animals. really funny and cute and sad.

siblings, probably by scarlet666 - this one's for the kanda and lenalee enthusiasts. the best friends lovers. i love them so dearly i put the level of energy people usually put into shipping into their bestie-isms so naturally this was for me. huge shoutout to this person for writing 20k words about them if nobody else in the world has my back i know they do. i have the memory of a goldfish and this is long enough that i can't really scan quickly to refresh my memory and make more detailed comments but i know it deserves a spot on here. my note from when i bookmarked it just reads AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH but i never leave a comment in that field at all usually so that speaks volumes i think. life is so beautiful sometimes. peace and love on planet earth <3

Welcome Home by metisket - for the rest of this list i am about to hit you with the metisket beam. the author whose work i most fondly remember from my youth by far, which means that's what's stuck with me and what half of my recs will be. i love this one dearly because i love a normal person perspective in insane anime settings type of fic and reever is so delightfully normal and longsuffering and also funny as hell. love how his relationship with komui is in this. not a ship fic and am not recommending it as such but it did make me in the back of my head go "komui/reever is almost like roy/riza without the war crimes for people who are cringefail mad scientist enthusiasts." sane responsible second in command type slash babysitter who is devotedly loyal to crazy irresponsible boss but also wants to kill him a little bit. they're so great to me

Growing Up by Accident by metisket - just so kanda and allen and the way their relationship is. having the exact same feelings about something but approaching it so differently that they want to attack each other. love them 4ever. the way metisket writes allen's internal voice is also delightful to me (like not JUST here but in general). he's so jaded and funny. probably my favorite allen to read out of anyone who writes him ever. and kanda is always just so...kanda.......<3

Sand Castle by metisket - (smiles and blood leaks from the side of my mouth) i love you allen walker. i love this look at allen's growth pre-series from cross' perspective and how he managed to become the hilarious twisted convoluted wonderful little freak that he is. allen is so.....everything to me truly i would never have it any other way. really kind of darkly funny but also like agonizingly emotional. delightful

Mask and Mirror by metisket - love this take on what the inside of lavi's head is like, and also the way all the character dynamics shine through even in such a short thing, they're all so wonderfully cute and funny. the sense of humor is really great. lenalee didn't even make a real appearance but even the brief mention of how she and kanda are had me giggling.

in the circus series by metisket - certified classic. i love timcanpy pov and this whole thing is just so emblematic of my fond memories of old dgm fanworks. i love anything that highlights the way they're all just so immensely fucked up to the point that it's actually incredibly absurd and funny. i'm pretty sure metisket's LJ has more mini outtakes from this series but i'm too lazy to dig through the dgm tag right now so i'll just link it so you can do it yourself if you're interested.

lastly if you're looking for someone to share your recs with you're free to! i am on a personal level picky as hell and my taste in styles and approaches to fanwork was forged in the livejournal mines and has not evolved with the times LOL but i also don't judge <3

[digi-tama-in-your-pocket]

YES! My connection finally came! I finally get to run my very first Tamagotchi Connection! Yes...... that's right, the V1 I ordered finally came!

And also some other things....

I know I know.... I said no more v-pets till October aside from the connection remake, But, listen, to be fair, I ordered the connection V1/Plus and the Genjintch long before I said that and they only just got here. The V2 and the Teku Teku Angel were just really cheap. Also Tama lunch box and chop sticks to make shipping more worth it.

So the Connection remake is probably not going to be my first Tamagotchi Connection. I was excited to run it this month, but the fact that it's not going to be here until Monday has made me change my plans.

Here's what i'll do... I want to get a bit of an appreciation for how the connection evolved, so, I'm going to run the V1 until my first Tama dies. Then i'll run the V2 until the end of the month. Then, on the 1st of the month, I'll run the remakes. That should give me more appreciation for the Connection line, at least up to the V3. I'd like to try the others at some point, I just don't know if I should buy vintage ones, or wait and see if Bandai has plans to remake more than just the V3.

The one I got is in pretty good condition, there's some ghosting, but it's barely noticeable, unlike the vintage Gen 2 I bought some time ago where it's distracting. I can see how this started forming ideas of modern tamagotchi, right down to the sound effects being similar to what we've got on the Uni. But the V1 isn't that much different than a gen 1/2, in fact I find myself fighting my impulse to highlight the 2nd icon on the bottom row to look at stats, I'm so used to them putting the stats in an inconvenient place that it's become second nature to me with black and white Tamas, even though Digimon put stats first years ago.

Why Oyajitchi for the charm? Because it's the only device I have where Oyajitchi is raisable, since they cut him out of the english Gen1 in favor of Bill. I might replace it with a different character later if I find one that fits. Someday I'd like to get a Japanese Gen 1/2 just so I can have all the secret characters available, so this is definitely a temporary home for him.

In other v-pet news, I spent a good portion of the day organizing my Digimon and trying to arrange them in a way where I'd have more space, since my Digimon drawers are nearly full. I finally came up with the idea of all of my bricks being in the top drawer arranged in rows ( X3 appears to be missing only because i'm currently running it ) and the same with my Pendulums, there's just enough space for 3 rows of six, so once the 2nd wave of PenC gets here, i'll have two full rows with just enough space for my 20ths, and a few extra devices in case I feel like checking out some vintage releases some day. The bottom drawer will be reserved for my Vital bracelets, digivices, and other miscellaneous releases. Maybe they'll surprise us an make a legitimately new Digimon virtual pet some day. They're running out of things to remake.

I actually did have to take a few v-pets out and I decided to make a container dedicated to extra v-pets and v-pets I keep for spare parts and put it in storage, Because I stupidly bought a bunch of DM20ths and ran almost none of them, part of that was just so I could have all the exclusive eggs ( even though I don't care about any of them that much ) but the other part was for customization reasons. I kept my first DM20th, and my translucent green which I ran the most and completed the library in my drawer.

[alwayschasingrainbows]

Whats your fav LMM novel? Please rank from the most you like to the least you like. Thank you 😊.cn.

Thank you for this question! First of all, I am very sorry it took me so long to answer, but I have to say it was a difficult choice for me (Sophie's choice, one might even say).

Before I start, I want to give a little disclaimer: there are some books I haven't read in ages. For example, I was the biggest fan of Anne series back in the days - I read Anne of Green Gables at the age of 8 and I remember loving it so much.

But then, I read other Montgomery's novels and loved them... even more. While Anne's books are still close to my heart, I haven't read them in years, while I still keep coming back to other books. That is something I should definitely change - if I reread Anne series (and Maud's other books) and my rating changes, I'll make a new list!

That being said, Anne of Green Gables is definitely the most iconic Montgomery's book - it is a beautiful, heart-warming tale of coming of age - and Anne herself is the most iconic female character Montgomery had ever created.

Ok, the disclaimer was very long, but I needed to make things clear, for Anne series is only listed as fourth - but not because I don't enjoy it, but because I need to reread it...

Oh, and another thing: I only included the novels, not short stories.

Emily of New Moon trilogy - my absolute favourite. I know many people have issues with these books and I understand this. Still, that's my number one. I must say I was not too satisfied with an ending of Emily Climbs (2nd book) and the last chapter of Emily's Quest (3rd) seems very rushed (although I like the way it ended... generally). All three have the first place ex aequo.

The Blue Castle - very close second. I love this book so much. In my opinion, Valarney is the best romance Maud had ever written. It is a lovely book - full of humour and fantastic characters; the one I keep coming back to each time I need a little cheering up. It never fails to do so. But oh, poor Cissy...

Rilla of Ingleside - it is probably the saddest book Montgomery ever wrote, but it is just so beautiful. Rilla is the heroine that goes through the biggest inner change... My favourite things about this book were: Rilla and Jims's relationship and Rilla's development. I wasn't into the romance there, tbh. Also... Walter... (tearing up).

Anne series - I will rank the books from my most to less favourite among the series: Anne of Green Gables, Anne of Island, Anne of Avonlea, Anne of Windy Poplars, Anne of Ingleside, Rainbow Valley, Anne's House of Dreams, The Blythes Are Quoted. That being said, I really liked all of them, but I still can't get over Joy (that's why AHoD is so low. I mostly like reading about Anne pre-motherhood, even though I also adore all her children... I know, I just contradicted myself...).

Story Girl and Golden Road - I adore stories about childhood friendships and this one doesn't fail! The only sad thing - Cecily's fate :(. But truth be told, I got the impression that the King children acted a bit young for their age... on the other hand, maybe that's the way things used to be in the past.

Jane of Lantern Hill - another great book! Jane is very different from other Montgomery's heroines - she's so practical! I adore her as a character.

Magic for Marigold - I remember loving this book, but... I haven't read it in ages. I need to change that.

Tangled Web - I have some issues with the book (the racism, marrying close relatives etc.). But on the whole, I enjoyed it. I liked some stories more, some less... and one can get lost among all these Darks and Penhallows (I always get their last names wrong, even though there are only two choices!).

Pat of Silver Bush and Mistress Pat - another series I haven't read in ages. But I wasn't too fond of these books as a child - I couldn't understand Pat too well... But I really liked Hilary. I think I should give the series another try someday... maybe I'll like them more now.

Kilmeny of The Orchard - the only Montgomery's book that I dislike... no sparkling humor. No lovable characters. Ideal Kilmeny... stuck up Eric... and the awful references towards Italians. No sir, thank you. Not me.

Ok, that's my list. I feel the need to say that I find all of Montgomery's books delightful. Even Kilmeny of The Orchard had some lovely descriptions of the nature...

I truly hope that I haven't offended anyone. I am really curious what other Montgomery's fans rating would be...

Again, thank you for this question!!!!

[jademilee]

Hi! I'm Jade and this is my pregnancy kink blog. Below's a list of some of the things I am and aren't into, an about me, and some basic guidelines I'd like people who follow/interact with this blog to know.

This is my kink blog, where I mostly just reblog content I like for myself, but if you like it, you're welcome to stay, as long as you understand a few things so this space stays as comfortable for me as possible. And hey, maybe someday I'll post a drawing or two (My icon and header were both made by me), but for now it's mostly just reblogs lol.

Hey! You can call me Jade, my pronouns are she/her and I'm mostly into girls and fem-presenting people. I wanted to make a separate pinned post, but it's still very important to me that people know that this very much still applies.

MINORS ABSOLUTELY DNI. This is a kink blog. Any minors that follow or interact with my blog will be blocked.

I absolutely will not tolerate any sort of discriminatory attitude towards anyone. racist, sexist, ableist, homophobic, transphobic, etc. asks, messages, comments will be deleted and blocked.

I'll do my best to answer asks, so feel free to send them about generally anything, not only kink stuff. (though I don't mind asks about kink stuff at all either lol)

That being said, I most likely won't be answering any DMs for now, though this might change in the future. Just keep in mind that if you DM me I probably won't respond.

I don't do RP. Again, this might change in the future, but for now this isn't something I'm interested in.

As I'm very gay, most of the things I'll post/reblog will very likely be about girls and fem-presenting people. I don't mind people who are into other genders interacting, but keep in mind that you probably won't find much of anything else here lol.

I'll probably update this post as time goes on to add or change anything if it comes up.

That's all I can think of for now. Thanks for reading and enjoy your stay 🌸

[the-solar-panel]

Munday Survey

Name/Alias: Sunny

Age group: 31

Pronouns: She/her, they/them, even he/him...I really don't care

Favorite color: Green

Favorite food: Chicken

Tattoos/piercings?: Double lobes; someday I wanna get my nose stud back too. Also would love to get the OoT temple symbols tattoo'd down the middle of my back someday.

Current song stuck in your head?: Samudrartha from the HSR EP. I'm trying to think of how to sing an English version.

Pets?: 8 cats. 9 if you count the outdoor one from next door that adopted us. 6 girls (Chloe, Noel, Boo, Lovey, Julia, and Latte), 3 boys (Sphinx, Cooper, and Azazel).

Favorite book?: I don't have one.

Dream job: Singing or writing.

Tea or coffee?: Coffee!!

Hobbies: Video games, horror movies, creepypastas, true crime documentaries, ARGs

How long have you been role-playing?: On Tumblr? Since 2010, I think.

Who is your most active muse?: It changes a LOT. Right now, it's Blade.

Significance behind your URL?: It's a play on my name while also signifying that I'm a multimuse. Sunny = solar, and then I have a panel of muses. So...I'm the solar panel!

I even made a tiny pixel icon for it, but it wound up being WAY too small, so it went unused. I'll gladly show it off, though:

Tagged by: @sageofjustice (thank you!! <3)

Tagging: @eternxlstarx @capravulpes @draconiclotus @traincarsandstars @celestial-narwhal @everlastiingiimmortals @deuxombre @cryohealer & anyone else that wants to fill this out and claim me as their tagger! I'm genuinely interested in learning more about all my followers. <3

[morganmerylhodgepodge]

Thoughts on Mafia 2 and 3...

I told myself I wouldn't spoil Mafia 3 for myself before I got a chance to play it for myself but I'm glad I changed my mind.

While there's a lot I love about Mafia 2, it just feels like there's too much missing. In the end the story and characters fall a little flat and while the ending was impactful,it felt too abrupt, and it didn't hit nearly as hard as Mafia DE's ending. Add to that the fact that it feels in some ways more episodic in the way a lot of games, especially older ones sometimes do, and the narration framing device feels somewhat underdone, and I found myself both feeling guilty I didn't love the game more, and more importantly feeling like it would be a lot harder to tackle for an adaptation. So I thought I'd never do that. Vito and Joe feel iconic though and there are some really cool moments. Not to mention it's a very beloved game. I felt bad for my stance but I felt I couldn't really do much with it and couldn't do it justice.

However, now knowing how Mafia 3 plays out and one of the possible endings, I'm convinced that someday after i get ahold of a copy of Mafia 3, I will be able to adapt Mafia 2, from within the framework of Mafia 3's story.

Of course combining the two in this way means I will have to come up with a new name for this adaptation.

My Mafia 1/ Mafia Definitive Edition adaptation is being called Mafia: The Confessions of Tommy Angelo

Originally if I was to adapt Mafia 2 and 3 separately I was going to go with "Mafia: The Vito Scaletta Story" for Mafia 2 and "Mafia: The Legend of Lincoln Clay" for Mafia 3.

Not sure what to call this new adaptation idea, assuming I'm going for it someday. Vito will be a much bigger part, but this is all being told from within the framework of Lincolns story. And given the dialogue in the ending I'm thinking of, the tip of the hat as to the thesis character perse could go to either of them. I'd definitely like something neutral that suits the overall narrative and both characters. I definitely won't be adapting this right after Mafia DE for a number of reasons, though so I guess I'll have plenty of time to think about it, if that's what I'm doing someday.

[galm1bignaturals]

top 5: enemy squadrons across the entire ace combat franchise :?

FUCK, ya know, I actually haven't played enough off the games I feel to give the best equipped answer for this question, but, going off of what I'm most familiar with at the time of answering this question (IE; these will probably change at some point) we got; 1. SACS. I feel like this one stands on its own, no explanation required. 2. Gault Team. Now I am admittedly......Biased. But it's a very good fight, very good entrance, very good livery, just Very Good™

3. Mimic Squadron. Though by no means the best from a plot standpoint, they're like a perfect storm of my weirdly specific favorite things. They use my favorite plane, with my favorite kind of camo, and their fight music fucks severely. Incredibly fun for what it is.

4. Yellow Squadron. My familiarity with AC4 is currently only kinda surface level, but there's no denying they're particularly iconic from what I've seen/read thusfar. I look forward to learning more about them firsthand (I'm sure if I already knew more they'd probably be higher on the list lmao)

5. Glamrock Squadron. It feels like a massive fucking cop out to include 3 AC7 squadrons for this, but like...You only see them the once, they don't even have any named members, but their Absolute Charisma is undeniable. I feel like they deserve a spot on my list, or at the very least an honorable mention when I redo this.

I'll probably actually re-answer this someday once I've actually played (see: cave in and just watch a lets play) the games I've yet to really get acquainted with, but for now I hope this suffices!

[acacia-may]

I just wanted to thank everyone who has sent in such kind words and encouragement to me over the past couple of days while I was taking a much-needed internet break. I am okay, but I really did need a break from Tumblr after a negative experience. I like to think that we're all friends here or that we can all be friends if we're respectful to each other, and receiving such kind messages from you has really helped restore my faith that this is the case. 💕

It really means a lot to receive so much kindness and overwhelming positivity after a negative experience, so thank you so much for that! I will do my best to respond properly to everyone (though I plan to space them out so I don't spam you all with a ton of my ramblings in a row 😅). In the meantime, please know that I saw and read all of your encouragement, and I really appreciate it. 💖

I think I'll give myself a little more time before I start writing headcanons again (since I want to make sure I can give them my best), but for now, I saw an ask game some of my friends were playing that looked fun and not too complex, so I think I'll start with that if anyone wants to play. No pressure though. 😊

Thank you so much for all the support and encouragement! Have a great day, friends, and please take care of yourselves!!🥰

Also, I've changed my icon just because I was ready for a change. (I blame all that YTTD brainrot lol). I want to thank @nothing-to-see-here-bye-yall again for creating such a beautiful Shinobu icon. I will probably return to her someday, but for now, Kanna. 💕

[heartsfromwithin]

I want a good job, freedom, and independence to do the things I want. As I approach 25, I want to finally glow up fully, something I've been waiting for since birth. I have seen people and visited places, and I am so grateful as it's been an inspiration for me. Where I am now, I feel the push to keep going so that I can achieve all these things. The only issue is that as time passes, I begin to feel impatient with myself and everyone around me. It's demotivating because I wonder when I'll ever see results.

Around April this year, I decided to begin a challenge. I was really inspired by one of the lectures I had in class on self-development (well, the class was about product development, but the lecturer had a holistic view that truly inspired me). He talked about how he won over his first love, doing everything to get what he wanted, and that's the energy I'm channeling this year.

However, I sometimes get overwhelmed seeing what everyone has, looking at social media, and being in a city where everyone literally looks like a model. I know I was born to be an icon and an inspiration. I want to spend my days exploring and trying out new looks and perfumes. I want to live the dream, travel to Europe and other parts of the world. I want the luxury of working from anywhere in the world. I want my own home and peace to live on my own terms.

For a long time, I watched people I started with progress and leave me behind. Well, I chose not to look at it this way; instead, I was just being me and making space for myself. I wanted a taste of the freedom they had and to live the life they lived. It was glamorized and seemed so perfect to live a fast lifestyle. Imagine getting what you want when you want it. You can imagine how badly I coveted what they had, so much that at the moment, I feel I'd do anything. For the past couple of months, I've done the unimaginable to get close to living a life like this.

I ask myself every day, "Why me?" Don't get me wrong, I've been a positive person for a long time. My life as a child wasn't the best, and I just had to try to be positive. I liked myself more when my emotions didn't eat me up, and instead, I chose positivity. It's my backbone and my anchor whenever I feel down. Even when I'm at my lowest, it could take a couple of days to lift myself up, but the positive spark within me remains.

It's really sad that some of the people I was drawn to actually tried to bring me down and suck all the ambition and energy out of me. I have been constantly judged and made to feel stupid and dumb for enjoying the things I naturally like to do and for being myself. It's like no matter what, I was only at peace when I was alone, and the creeping feeling of loneliness began to slowly overwhelm me. I was seeking to be seen just the way I admire people. I was seeking people who saw happiness in me being myself. Though in a world like this, does that really exist?

Here I am now, still holding on to the little positivity I have within me. I choose myself, and I choose to look at all my experiences as a roadmap to my eventual success. I choose to begin working from within and see myself without it all. To see how promiscuous, curious, and malicious I can be only due to the fact that I don't see what I already have, but rather I see others who shine, uncovering all my defects and what I lack.

I want to change, and I want to find happiness from within. My inferiority complex is where I choose to set my anchor, and from within me, I can flourish and set sail without getting lost. I believe that someday it will all work out astoundingly, and I'll look back, and this will be one of many beautiful memories.

[the-world-walks]

If you stumble across me somehow, hello. This is a secondary blog that I made to serve as my FFXIV containment zone, since I love this game a lot, like a lot, but I don't really interact with the community much and I feel like after a couple of years of playing solo and getting nearly every Job to 90, maybe I should change things up a bit.

On that note, meet Veveli, my new WoL. Though this blog is going to be a general fandom blog, this blog alongside Veveli are going to serve as a bit of a vehicle for me to experience the MSQ and Etheirys once more, with a very stupid gimmicky challenge to myself. In summary - no flying, no teleporting.

Why the hell would I do such a thing? Well I don't know, on my main I teleport all over the place and fly around so much, I kind of miss when I was going through Thavnair for the first time on the back of my newly acquired Amaro, feeling like a true adventurer. Some of you might recall a while ago there were also the temporary cloud servers, and there I participated in a small but iconic event called the Cloudwalk, where a small crowd of us decided to walk all the way from Costa del Sol to Ishgard. To top it all off, I saw a post a while ago where someone else was playing without using Aetherytes and it made me realize, oh good. I'm not completely insane, there are other people who want to play like this.

So, I guess that's it for my introduction post. I still do have a main WoL who has some Crafters left at Lv70, so Veveli is more of a side project I won't be playing constantly in my free time, but still I'd like to do this, so I'll try. Thus begins a new journey, one of Veveli Veli, a girl born in Ul'dah who is bored of the bricks and sands of her homeland and wishes to see the broad colors of the outside world. She's always had trouble manipulating aether, so it'll be a bit of a long and painful adventure, but she's determined! Maybe someday she'll even learn how to use a weapon to make it easier, but until then, she'll be punching giant bugs.

[skysometric]

New look, same old blog!

welcome to a wholly improved skysometric.co! after years of dreams, sketches, redesigns, code, and slamming my head against the wall, i've finally fulfilled my dream of having a blog that matches my design language. i'm so excited to put it to good use as the front page for my creativity and journaling 💖

the blog's still based on tumblr, using a new custom theme. in truth, it's just a heavy edit of the default theme... and quite a mess of one, at that! but hey, it looks and works great, and isn't that all that counts in the end?

(speaking of which, are you reading this on the tumblr app? come check out the new site!)

About the redesign

on the left menu are links to my main sites, and core tumblr links like the askbox and archive. there's also a theme toggle for light and dark mode – i'm especially proud of how the dark theme turned out! the light theme needs a little work, but i think it's a good start to improve on in the future. oh and btw, these animations for the menus opening and closing? they're pure css, even on mobile~

the right menu has featured tags to browse stuff i've made and written, as well as a search box for anything not featured. tags are a core part of the updated site, serving as collections of art and writing – so they have extra prominence both in the menu and at the bottom of each post. all my most important tags have icons that are loaded dynamically based on their name! and any tags that don't have an icon use the default hashtag. i'm really proud of all the design work that went into it, and i'll show off the icons on their own pretty soon ✨

posts themselves can be blue, purple, or pink, matching my main color palette. the color is based on the post id! so each post's color is always the same, whether you're viewing it on the front page, tag pages, or the post itself.

Design history

this updated blog has been four years in the making, surviving both my name change and multiple iterations of my design language – yet somehow, it still looks just like my years old sketches. i'm impressed at how much i was able to rework and carry forward with me, especially with how many of these ideas felt like dead ends at the time!

that early screenshot at the top is from waayyy back when i was considering moving away from tumblr. it was very tempting to self-host and "own my data" as they say... but i would miss out on all the social features like reblogs. plus, on tumblr people can follow me and see all my posts in the app, as well as on my site – what's not to love? so even though the site's time may be past, i'm sticking with tumblr until they literally nuke it out of orbit~

Cleaning up, carrying forward

i've had this blog for nearly ten years now, and the way i've used it has changed tremendously over that time. what started as my first foray into social media turned into a space for sharing things i found that made me happy, sharing my philosophies and outlook on life, sharing my struggles through college and burnout, and now sharing my journey discovering my voice as a person and a creator. so now that i'm a new person with a new voice, i should probably clear out all those crusty old cobwebs and start fresh, right?

not a chance!

if anything, i went back and made sure my old posts look just as good as my new ones, cleaning up tags and backporting my new code to work with old tumblr post layouts. i want to carry my history forward with me! for all these years this blog has been my journal, and even though my journaling changed with time, that core purpose hasn't. honestly, after all the cleaning, i'm inspired to return to those old methods of journaling – share more of myself, share more of what makes me happy, be more free and open and wild ✨

(that said, some of those early posts were especially raw! those have been archived for now. maybe i'll remake the sentiment behind them someday...)

My promise to myself

in the wake of college i realized i was posting less here on the blog; this redesign was an attempt to give it more importance, so that i would use it more. but what i didn't realize was that i was posting less due to burnout... and i stalled out on the redesign, also due to burnout. a double whammy! so i used my blog less than ever, and it languished for years.

on top of that, giving my blog more importance made it more of a Serious Website™ in my head, a place where i had to put my best foot forward at all times. that made me want to post here even less, only when i finished some big or important project! but my blog was never intended for this – i've been posting random nonsense since the beginning.

so what started as a promise that i would use my blog more, became a promise that i would make my blog A Big Deal. and that's not healthy for me! so i stepped back and re-evaluated. first, i started consciously calling this place my journal, to make it a sketchy and rough place with intent. second, i ultimately decided to redesign it anyway, with a new promise: to make it somewhere i'm proud of posting more often, no matter what those posts look like.

and with that promise fulfilled, i'm ready to get back to journaling 💙

[miraculoussly]

This was my original LB/Marinette redesign, I think I like it better than my digital copy..

(Reasoning for design changes under the cut)

Ladybug:

Why did I do this? - When I look at LB's canon design, I feel like it's... kinda boring? Like c'mon, that's basically a swimsuit with polka dots on it! - It is such a crime that LB gets 0 change in her hair, when canonically it could be so. much. more. -In my opinion, a miraculous holder's transformed state should showcase parts of their actual personality. With all the intricate plans LB comes up with, it's hard to believe this is what she ended up with, especially since she's supposed to be a future fashion designer!

What did I want from the redesign? - Different hair, preferably a symmetrical hairstyle mingling with cyan hair dye (Deriving from cosmobug, amongst other forms of LB) - The suit should be a bit more intricate than just polka dots. (More black like in her power-up?) - The suit should be easy to fight in (obviously) and have pockets (because which girl doesn't need them?)

How did I achieve my goals? - Well, the hair had been on my mind a lot before I started, so my choice was set the moment I drew them. I feel like my choice was good for fighting as well since the hair won't be tied loosely, or in a way that it could get in her face. - As I was doing the previous, I realized I couldn't incorporate Mari's iconic hair ribbons. Whatever. Then I wondered if maybe the ribbons actually symbolized a ladybug's antennae. Welp. Now she has those. - A few parts are self-indulgent when it came to designing (especially the repeated Vs). The contour, the black knee-highs, the black fingertips (maybe to help climb?) and the tiny ladybug wings are both personal choices and references to other suits. - The canon design seemed to lack any actual framing to the suit that would make her appear to be safer from any chance of injury, though it makes sense since all parts of the suit are magic and will protect her. Still, owing to Adrien's design as Mister Bug, I added shoulder pads. - Lastly, I wanted to add that sort of flair Scarabella has in her suit. However, it didn't seem very... Marinette? So I switched it out for protruding "pockets" that are attached to her belt.

Marinette Dupain-Cheng:

Why did I do this? - Well, I just did Ladybug, it's only logical... - Marinette is cute, but she can always be cuter! What did I want out of the redesign? - Showing off Marinette's sense of style. She is gonna be a famous fashion designer someday and you better believe it. So what if it isn't trendy in Paris yet? - Making her look reasonably unlike Ladybug without losing her essence.

How did I achieve my goals? - I loosened the pigtails, something I just love seeing in fanart. - More personal stylistic choices (especially the pink/greyscale aesthetic I'm going for). I love drawing poofy sleeves, so that went in. Hm, what about embroidery on her jacket? Perhaps a skort? Or knee-high socks? Cute shoes? Oh alright, maybe I'll add a choker for her bare neck... If you read this far, thank you. Leave a comment or an ask maybe. I'd love to read your opinions.

[ruthiesrambles2]

For the writing meme ask!

There was silence for a minute, and Melanie looked at Ben, and then back at Javi, biting her lip. When she finally looked back at Ben, he gave a small shrug and nodded. They always were good at communicating without words.

"You can if you like," she said carefully to Javi.

He furrowed his brow, and she knew he hadn't understood.

"Fuck us both. You can. If you like."

Javi coughed, his eyes wide. It wasn't a no.

Melanie stepped towards him, and he suddenly felt very warm.

"Stick her on auto for a couple of hours, Javi. If… if that head of yours agrees with…" she nodded down at the bulge still covered by his hands, "that head of yours."

Javi coughed again. It wasn't like he hadn't thought about it before. The three of them, stuck up here for the past year. The way Melanie touched his shoulder at the end of a shift. The way Ben did push-ups in just his boxer shorts. But what if this was just another joke? What if -

He nodded his head before he could think too hard about it, before looking quickly at Ben, who gave him a small smile, and a tiny nod just as Melanie straddled his legs.

"In that case," she whispered, hot in his ear, "I really can't wait to feel that fat cock inside me."

Hi my lovely anon! You said in your other message you'd like me to elaborate on the whole chapter so I'll do that.

God I wish there was more to say about this one. This whole chapter was me trying to work out how to dirty talk without it explicitly being like... Degradation or Praise kink. I couldn't find a way to do it that wasn't funny!

I usually headcanon Javi as ace but I also accept any queer reading of him and as some of you know one of my favourite fics is Mel/Ben/Javi. I think it's only natural that (if he's not asexual) Javi would have thoughts about the other engineers after being cooped up in there for so long. After all he hasn't got a girlfriend... And Javi just loves it when people are nice to him.

I really wanted to include Javi's headphones because I think they're iconic. I too like to block out the world whilst I work. So the idea that Mel and Ben would mess with him whilst he's got them on was too good to miss.

I love love love the idea that after so many years, Mel and Ben can communicate in little glances. This is not based on any real experience for me though, I've been with the same person for 13 years and am still constantly mouthing "what???" at her across the room!

What else to say... Ohhhh the wordplay. "Fuck you both" to "you can. Fuck us both." It made me chuckle when I wrote it. There's a similar play in the Mel/Ben/Ruth chapter too - "the question is whether I like this... Or this" "what's the answer?" "Yes." I don't know it's all super cliché it just makes me happy to write it.

This head and that head is something someone said to me the first time I spitballed GP!Mel. Something about thinking with the right head? Idk it's funny though.

One of my favourite things to read, and hence to write, is when the narration takes on the inner thoughts of the character which then get interrupted by the action. I like cutting sentences off in the middle to show that actions are cutting off thoughts. I like the changing rhythm of it.

As for the ending we circle back to me being terrible at dirty talk! It ended up not being one I felt any desire to write actual sex acts for, I think other people have done it better. But maybe someday.

[keanureevesisbae]

Honey, I was ready for this buikgriep thing to be over since even before it started. I was a little teary eyed the first time I read it, let's see if we can get to full on bawling the second time around

“What’s going on? Can you hear me?”

I love sweet Jules - I adore her when she's brutally iconic, but it's good to know she's capable of being a darling friend

The footsteps on the stairs were clearly Sy’s – you’d recognize them from a mile away.

On a totally different note: i love how this is written. Recognizing people based on their footsteps is such a mood and i love to see it in writing hahaha

“What I really wanna know is… Sugar, are we havin’ a baby?”

“Yes,” you said, your voice remarkably strong as you did. The word was barely out of your mouth, or Sy’s lips were on yours. The kiss was fierce, gentle, caring, full of love, protective, intense, relentless, very thorough – and so much more. It was everything he was, everything he had to offer, and all of it was for you, and you alone.

The tears are incoming....

Seeing him cry was something else: it broke your heart, even though you were absolutely convinced they were tears of joy. He didn’t speak. He just pulled you into his lap, and let you curl up into a ball.

WELL IF SY'S CRYING THEN OBVIOUSLY I AM TOO LASKJDFLAKSDJFLAKSJDFALDJFLAKFJ

“Whoa! Sugar, let me tell ya somethin’,” he said, “I was there when Wes was born. Actually, I’d just spent a day or two in jail for chasin’ Betty’s good for nothin’ son of a bitch ex, Joe Warren, down and punching his lights out, but that’s not important right now.”

Okay, now I am laughing hahaha - this is such a Sy story (look at me saying this over fictional characters omg hahaha)

“Georgie had driven her,” Sy said as he smiled at the memory. Somewhere, instinctively, the math didn’t work out there. “Fifteen years old. They let ‘em keep their learner’s permits, him and Ricky. Like I said, small town.” Sy shook his head while you silently jumped for joy: You’d been right, the math didn’t work out.

Look at me, knowing Sy's family a bit better than we thought lol

The moment I held my nephew, I knew I wanted kids of my own someday. I’ve been wantin’ this since I was seventeen years old. Ain’t gon’ change my mind about it now.” Somehow, that story helped a lot, and what’s more; you noticed Sy’s hand had moved – without you realizing it – to your stomach.

laksjdfalkdsfjalskdfjalksdfjslafjk

“I’m scared,” you whispered. Sy’s lips found your temple and kissed it softly.

“I’m right here.”

I'll be in a corner right here, bawling my eyes out.

No but seriously, this is so delicately written, that it makes my stomach turn in the best way ever - i love how you always manage to throw in a good dose of realisticness in it. that is what makes your writing so wonderful and unique and i love it

Part 25

Masterlist

Part 24 🍂 Part 26

Pairing: Syverson x ofc

Series summary: Life with Sy, what more can you wish for? The most amazing husband and father to a whole litter of cute little kids... Sometimes you wonder "how did you get here?"

Chapter warnings: I secretly hate having to fucking spoil this here Mentions of pregnancy, angst, fluff...

Word count: 1.3k

A/N: Well, well, well... I managed to drag this out for over 40k words. I'm proud of myself. @keanureevesisbae, are you proud of me too? (And are you finally happy, now that the whole buikgriep thing is over? XD)

@deandoesthingstome @geralts-yenn @omgkatinka @summersong69 @beck07990 @peaches1958 @sillyrabbit81 @ellethespaceunicorn @livisss @sofiebstar

You had done the math thirteen times in the shower. Then twice when you got out, then six more times while you waited the exact amount of time recommended by the not-to-be-missed blue numbers on the box you had hoped to keep stashed in the back of the bottom shelf of your medicine cabinet for at least another year. Maybe two. Or three. Or more. Now, tears were streaming down your face while you looked at the two life-changing pink lines. You had no idea how long you had been sitting there when you heard footsteps in the hall. They were way too light to belong to Pat, and they definitely weren’t Sy’s, so it had to be Jules. It honestly could have been a satanic easter bunny with a chainsaw; you wouldn’t have moved either way.

“Lara, we’re going h-” Jules shut her mouth mid-sentence and rushed over to you as soon as she saw you sitting on your bed. “What’s going on? Can you hear me?” She sounded really scared. There was nothing you could do other than hum softly at her question, all other functions of your body seemed to have been turned off. It was only a matter of time before she looked down at what you were holding in your hands.

“Oh.” That was all she said for a while, but when you still didn’t reply, she continued: “I don’t know what to say. If you’re happy, I’m happy for you. It’s just that you don’t look happy.” Probably because you weren’t feeling very happy, and though you were mostly shocked and definitely more than a little bit freaked out, you weren’t unhappy, either.

“I don’t know, Jules,” you said, now entirely unable to stop your crying. How was this even possible? You didn’t remember throwing up anywhere in the past weeks, there were no unexplained pills left in your strip, or the last one. No antibiotics, nothing. Of course, a one percent chance was still a chance… The footsteps on the stairs were clearly Sy’s – you’d recognize them from a mile away. Normally, the sound comforted you, because… Well, because it was Sy. That was plenty. Now, it just threatened to send you into hysterics.

“Lara, listen to me,” Jules said, “I’m going to leave. You two are gonna talk. It’s going to be fine. I promise.” You just hoped she was able to gauge Sy’s reaction better than you were, because your brain was cooking up doom scenario’s left and right.

“Talk about what?” Sy said as he opened the door. Jules didn’t leave in a gigantic hurry. You appreciated that, it calmed you down somewhat. It gave you some time to take a few deep breaths while she said goodnight to Sy before leaving him by the door in a state of bewilderment and suspicion.

When he walked over to you, you turned your head to look at him– which was the first time you moved in what you now guessed would have to be about fifteen minutes.

“Sugar, you’re scarin’ me,” Sy said with one raised eyebrow and a hesitant half-smile on his face. Without looking, he sat down on the bed in front of you, and put a hand on yours. “What’s that you’re holdin’?” There was no point in lying to him. Besides, he was already holding the test – and his initial reaction wasn’t that much different from yours.

“I’m pregnant,” you said. It was the first time you said it out loud – although ‘loud’ was a serious overstatement. Was a part of you banking on the off chance that this was a false positive? Probably. Sy’s reaction didn’t help. Why didn’t he look happy? He’d known he wanted kids for God knows how long! He should be ecstatic, right?

“I can see that,” he said softly. In his voice, you heard the tears you saw in his eyes, but he didn’t give you any indication of whether they were happy tears or… You didn’t even want to think about the alternative. The idea of Sy not being happy about this absolutely shattered your heart, which could really only mean one thing… You’d made up your mind. “What I really wanna know is… Sugar, are we havin’ a baby?”

“Yes,” you said, your voice remarkably strong as you did. The word was barely out of your mouth, or Sy’s lips were on yours. The kiss was fierce, gentle, caring, full of love, protective, intense, relentless, very thorough – and so much more. It was everything he was, everything he had to offer, and all of it was for you, and you alone.

Seeing him cry was something else: it broke your heart, even though you were absolutely convinced they were tears of joy. He didn’t speak. He just pulled you into his lap, and let you curl up into a ball.

“A week ago, we were fighting about whether or not I saw a future for us,” you murmured. You’d never been more certain of that future, but at the same time, you were terrified. Having a baby with the guy you’d only been dating for four months sounded crazy, everyone could see that. Even if that guy was Sy. The two of you got into bed, and you didn’t waste a second to crawl back into his arms.

“Sugar, we don’t have to do this. Whatever you decide, I’m right there with ya.” How could he even say that? Did that mean…

“You don’t want this…” It wasn’t a question. Why else would he even suggest not seeing this through?

“Whoa! Sugar, let me tell ya somethin’,” he said, “I was there when Wes was born. Actually, I’d just spent a day or two in jail for chasin’ Betty’s good for nothin’ son of a bitch ex, Joe Warren, down and punching his lights out, but that’s not important right now.”

“Jail?” That seemed excessive…

“Small town, Sheriff saw me, I gave him a li’l too much of an attitude. Parents weren’t too eager to come pick me up, figured it’d do me good to spend the night.” He was smiling, clearly it hadn’t left any kind of permanent trauma. Still seemed weird, though. “They were a few towns over for a funeral, anyway, so they weren’t even thinkin’bout picking my sorry ass up. Sheriff let me go when my sister called the office, said she needed me at the hospital.”

“Wait, if your parents weren’t home, how did she get to the hospital?”

“Georgie had driven her,” Sy said as he smiled at the memory. Somewhere, instinctively, the math didn’t work out there. “Fifteen years old. They let ‘em keep their learner’s permits, him and Ricky. Like I said, small town.” Sy shook his head while you silently jumped for joy: You’d been right, the math didn’t work out.

“Sheriff took ‘em back home. I stayed with Betty. I’ll tell ya, Sugar, I wanted to run, I was freaked out.” “But you didn’t.” That had to be the point, right?

“I didn’t. He’s Jonathan Wesley Syverson for a reason,” he said. Shortly after, his expression turned the slightest bit sour. “McGraw, nowadays.”

“Your sister’s husband adopted him?” you asked. Why did Sy seem upset about that? “I’m a little shaky on the names, still, sorry.”

“Bill,” Sy reminded you. “He did. I shouldn’t be mad about it, he’s a good man. Great father. But it pissed me off when he waltzed in and… What I’m tryin’ to say, Sugar: The moment I held my nephew, I knew I wanted kids of my own someday. I’ve been wantin’ this since I was seventeen years old. Ain’t gon’ change my mind about it now.” Somehow, that story helped a lot, and what’s more; you noticed Sy’s hand had moved – without you realizing it – to your stomach.

“I’m scared,” you whispered. Sy’s lips found your temple and kissed it softly.

“I’m right here.”