#though im not sure if i'll stick to it lol
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kiyocuck · 11 months ago
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me and the gang on our way to pursue our true selves
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persona posting again!! expect more of it srry not srry
alt version:
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i dont like how it turned out much but im still including it
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ohbo-ohno · 1 year ago
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If I chant noncon puppy play enough times will you grace us with more ghoap x reader noncon puppy play?
I would really love to see what you could do with Ghost coming across Soap and reader who are in a relationship but it’s rapidly becoming toxic with Soap becoming pervy and flirty with other people and reader being frustrated with it and the unsatisfying sex she’s having now because of it. And Ghost just takes one look and goes “yeah, I can make them happier” and then puts them in crates.
I like to think he’d put them in separate crates so they can’t actually touch each other but he’d make sure they were tied together so they couldn’t escape each other -💙
if you THINK noncon puppy play hard enough i'll probably feel it through the force and try to write it
also i fucking LOVE this ask and concept i love you for sending it in. this post is kinda scatterbrained though because i didn't want to write an actual drabble lol
im not a big fan of cheating in fics so im gonna exclude the idea of soap flirting with other people, but!!! i really really enjoy the idea of soap and reader being wrapped up in a toxic relationship and ghost going "let me get in on that". peak humor tbh.
i think this version of ghost would be sort of like howling and barking ghost - way more... subtle? puppy play. he's not taking you two home and shoving you in cages, he's getting you two conditioned to certain tones of voice and his whistles.
this is kinda difficult to come up for something with, because im trying to think of ways for ghost to slide himself into your relationship that even feel a tiny bit natural
my fave one (off the top of my head) is maybe you and johnny have been trying to pick up a third like every weekend to spice up your sex lives (you end up having near violent sex and arguing through the third person, and they're usually not down to hook up again) and one weekend you just so happen to ask ghost. he'd usually never take up an offer like that, but he sees the little fissures in your relationship pretty immediately and figures "what the hell?" might as well wreak a little havoc. unfortunately for him he gets far too attached as soon as he gets his hands on you two
i like to think he sort of just... becomes your third. at first it's just hookups (regularly, because you and johnny are fighting a lot recently and you love to do it with a third there instead of alone in your apartment and ghost never says no a threesome) but he pretty quickly establishes himself in your lives
from there, the training is easy. you and johnny are both fighting for power in your relationship, and you're too focused on your little game of tug-of-war to realize that ghost is swooping in and taking control of both of you instead. you're too busy working against each other to realize what he's doing to you
to be fair, he actually is helping you and johnny out quite a bit. you two are both hotheads with a lot of energy, fights happen very quickly and get very heated. ghost is there to step in, to knock the two of you on your asses and make you talk. you would not believe how often he sticks you in time-out, otherwise you two would say things you don't mean and end up pissy
he kinda literally talks to you two like you're dogs. a sharp "hey!" for bad behavior, scruffing one of you by the neck to hold you back, whistling to get your attention instead of saying your name, one word commands like "sit", "stay", and "come" instead of "wait a minute" or "come over here". pups need simple commands they can actually understand
he works on fixing your manners too :/
first step is to get you two waiting for permission to start dinner. sits down at the table and glares when either one of you eats before him, clears his throat all obnoxiously, does that horrible "thank you" when you drop your utensil. it's too awkward to push back against him (especially when you know how quickly he could stomp you down) and it's easier to just... listen. you get a pleased hum and a solid pet over your hair, a "good boy/girl" and the trade-off of waiting for permission to eat is worth it
(ghost places both yours and johnny's plate in front of you, smirks when he walks away and neither of you move to eat. fixes himself a plate, sits down, takes a few bites. neither of you move, you both get a little squirmy, huff a bit. he gives you the command word, and praises you both so good in bed that night. neither of you even notice that he's the only one at the table with utensils)
he sleeps between the two of you in bed because you both get jealous and possessive :/ wakes up to johnny snarling over his chest at you, grabs him by the jaw and hisses don't make me fuckin' muzzle you, rumbles all satisfied when johnny settles a bit
anyways you and johnny genuinely are happier with ghost <3 you're also more well-mannered and understanding of your positions!!! you're just a pup, pups shouldn't have an attitude, and they wait to eat until they're told, and sometimes they have to sleep in a crate when they've been bad :/
(when he crates one of you he has to crate the other. if he locks johnny up you spend the whole time trying to taunt him, and vice versa. also you two are more well-behaved when you know you both get in trouble for your misbehavior)
it took a bit of work to get you two used to the crates. really ghost fights you with the pure power of nonchalance. you're both already Attached, and he's in control of so much of your lives (more than either of you really know), and he treats the crates like they're normal. Expected. he's not someone who changes his mind, and both you and johnny know that. you can pitch as much of a fit as you want, but you're going in that crate no matter what. there's just... a sort of inevitability around ghost
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ndjournal · 1 month ago
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hello i would like to give a little experience. happened a few days ago. keep in mind that i had learned of ND in october 2023 (i was a big hater back then lol crazy how it helped me more than LOA ever did), and only began to take it serious in may.
i managed to “minishift” (in reality shifting terms) to my old dr. this was after plenty of hours doomscrolling and being worried of my supposed life in this world.
i began to experimentally visualize stuff not necessarily from this dr but randomly. and i could literally feel it, sense it which led me to the thought.
a thought that “this world is malleable like a dream..” which im sure helped before i tried this.
all i did was have an indifferent attitude,. if it happens, it happens. who gaf. and so i set an intention.
and immediately i was there. with it looking like my moodboards/what i imagined it to be.
surprisingly i wasn’t excited. all i felt was “i shifted, cool!” it was like peace. like it was just natural.
i came back because it was an old dr.
now the thing about this is i am not fully realized. and i know that the only reason why it worked was due to me simply not being attached to this old dr and its expectations. i have observed this happening with other “manifestations” (like my moms cancer scare, etc) my real goal is my dream life but im too attached and its hard to let go. i want this no attachment type shit forever
right now im trying to stick to the “i am that” book.
my question is how does one investigate like the book states.
Hello and thank you for sharing! Yes I've also found indifference to be key, it allows one to let go and let it be. While still identifying with the character, the level of indifference possible depends on the limitations held in the mind such as attachments/aversions etc which can be deeply subconscious.
Here's something from the book Friendship of God by Neale Walsch that explains why:
Have intentions, but don't have expectations, and certainly don't have requirements. Do not become addicted to a particular result. Do not even prefer one. Elevate your Addictions to Preferences, and your Preferences to Acceptances. That is the way to peace. That is the way to mastery. "You can intend for something to happen without preferring it to. In fact, holding a Preference is an announcement to the universe that alternative outcomes (to what you intended) are possible. God doesn’t imagine such things, so God never has Preferences."
In other words, you can have a goal or desire (intention), but without being attached to the specific outcome (preference). You're open to whatever happens, rather than being stuck on one particular result. When you strongly prefer one outcome, you're actually acknowledging that other outcomes are possible too and that creates resistance. By having a preference, you’re subtly saying, “I want this result, but it might not happen,” which introduces doubt. God doesn’t see limitations or alternative possibilities. God just creates with pure intention, without any doubt or attachment to a specific result, because there’s no awareness of potential failure. So the key message is: not having preferences (just intending without attachment or expectation of outcomes) is more powerful, because it aligns you more with a state of certainty and flow, without the resistance that comes from fearing other possibilities.
Now onto your question of how to investigate. I know you want to stick to the I Am That book but for my own journey, I did not use a lot from his teachings including my practices as they didn't resonate with me (including his way of self-investigation) so my answer is going to come from what I do know.
I'll first briefly summarize what his way is though in case it helps?
What you see as false, dissolves. It is the very nature of illusion to dissolve on investigation. Investigate — that is all. You cannot destroy the false, for you are creating it all the time. Withdraw from it, ignore it, go beyond, and it will cease to be.
Basically from skimming the search results of the keyword 'investigate', his way is to investigate everything that you think is real, then see it as unreal and drop it by ignoring it and refusing to give it attention. This is similar to what 4dbarbie taught and is described in How to let go of Vanessa.
Something I want to add here is to not compare your journey to others, for everything including timing, experiences, progress and practices. What works for others, may not work well for you and vice versa. Part of this journey is finding what resonates for you. Don't try to force something to fit but find what already will fit perfectly. If you listen to your heart, it will tell you because it is your own Self guiding you. Don't be afraid to explore if what you've been doing no longer works for where you are now.
Anyway, part of my own journey was realizing that there were certain limitations/attachments/fears/trauma/conditioning etc that were so deeply ingrained that it didn't matter if it was real or unreal, I couldn't let go of them by simply ignoring them. Ignoring them didn't make them go away because reality was already given on a deeply subconscious level, it just kept them in the back of my subconscious but they were still operating in the background regardless. What resonated more for me was "What you resist, persists. What you look at disappears and ceases to hold its illusory form. You see it for what it Is. And what Is can always be changed. It is only what Is Not that cannot be changed. Therefore, to change the Isness, move into it. Do not resist it. Do not deny it." (this was taken from the Conversations with God books 1-3) This meant diving deeply into myself, directly looking at the causative thoughts of whatever limitations I had and seeing them as untrue or deciding to drop them so they finally dissolved. (Now I don't do this for every single negative or limiting thought that comes up, sometimes ignoring a thought is indeed the way to go, but I just go with the flow and do what feels right depending on the nature of the thought. I don't stick to one practice for absolutely everything)
And so I worked on them individually as Lester taught. It's also self-investigation into the mind but in a different way. I won't dive into it here because this response has already gotten quite long but I've addressed this before in other asks on my main blog and I'll link them here in case it helps your direction (just take whatever resonates for you): 1, 2, 3, 4
If it resonates, you could take a look at Lester's book The Keys to the Ultimate Freedom which discusses more deeply in detail on the how compared to what I covered in my answered asks: Especially Session 9: Mind over Matter, Session 16: Take Full Responsibility and Session 32: Realization by Dropping the Unconscious. You can get the book from Ada's google drive. Link is in the pinned post of @4dbarbie-archive
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ofcowardiceandkings · 1 year ago
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companion piece of young Zelda
AAHH i finally finished something :'D
it actually took more thought to trawl through my feelings about Link as a child than Zelda but we got there idk man i just knew he exudes gremlin energy as a 17 to 20-something year old so he must have been a little demon as a kid gfkdjfkd
we're sort of looking at roughly 4, 7 and 10 years old here feeding sum pigeons, playing soldiers, and doing some baking !!!
more detailed Thoughts under the cut 💙
iiitssss customary ranting about my BotW/TotK opinions tiiiimeeee welcome my darlingsss jfkdjfkd 💙
like i said, this took more thought than Zelda, but we also dont know as much about Link's upbringing so thats fair
having said that, we know his father was a knight - a prominent one - and its hinted at that his family may have owned the Hateno house you can buy from Bolson. im not sure if i land on it being the family / childhood home or belonging to like a grandparent but i like to think Link spent time in Hateno as a kid (im a great fan of bumpkin Link with a country accent aight im a simple man). no mention of any OTHER family members, but imo i think his mother was still around and he probably had younger siblings !! he DID probably spend a fair amount of time in Castle Town just due to his father's job though, to be fair he probably travelled a little as a youngster a-la army posting yknow ... moving on tldr that explains why i've got a bunch of Hateno-esque clothing here aside from us sort of not knowing what the average joe Castle Town citizen from back in the day would have worn idk man its cute also
SO, pigeons !!! i'll definitely expand on this later when i go over more livestock now ive finished TotK but listen i wouldnt be in the least bit surprised if pre-Calamity Hylians had domestic pigeons for sending messages or just for hobby, so here's a first look at the Castle Town Carrier, the Hylian army's best flying friends. Link's just out here feeding his fathers' cohort's messenger birbs :3
stimky boy plays soldiers with a stick and a pot lid and a tub, classic and good, he was probably like ... actually tactically aware at this age though lets be real lol i bet it was annoyingly impressive
C A R R O T C A K E its a bit wonky, but i bet it tastes great :') id imagine Link probably spent a fair amount of time helping around the house and boy loves his food !! some people develop those skills early !!! i bet he was one of those people !!! any chance to get involved and learn how to make his faves and make them for other people yknow, food as a love language everyone HEYO (bowl there is chickaloo tree nuts, hazelnut analog eyo)
ghfjkdjfkd i said i didnt have much to say about this but oops
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gemapples · 11 months ago
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see you in 2024 💗💗
very personal ramble about my year and experiences, etc. under the cut. kind of neg just a warning but if anyone would be willing to read it the whole way through i'd appreciate it so so much
2023 was certainly... a year for me. had many highs but a Ton of lows, went forward one step but took two steps back. i'd be lying if i said i didnt struggle and know what to do for a lot of it
i did get to meet and even become friends with people i look up to, got to learn new things i didn't know before. and one of the problems i noticed throughout this year is i spent way more time than i needed to focusing on my usefulness for others and what i can do for people rather than prioritizing myself and my mental health. i think a lot of problems i experienced in 2023 was due to me getting too caught up in how i'm perceived by others (especially on social media like tumblr). for 2024 i want to work on this and be sure to put myself first in every situation and be the best person i see myself as -- not overdo it for the sake of others. i'm going to try being more straightforward with myself and how i choose to approach people. i want to be more involved in this fandom and get to know more people who love kirby better rather than just hiding away and watching from the side like i have for many years, waiting for them to approach me first at some point. i made a lot of progress on this a lot in 2023 but i could always be better :')
regardless though, i wouldn't have been nearly as ready to get back on track if it weren't for the support you all have given me throughout this year. august and september were two of the worst months i've ever experienced; i won't get into it (if you know you know), but goddd was it harder than i can even describe. i've never had to go through something that resulted in me questioning my Entire artistic ability, my whole worth, and whether everything i've grown and learned from is just completely fake. i couldn't look at my work and all of my social medias without being completely disgusted and disappointed with myself. i'm in art student too, so you can imagine how fucking hard it was to balance and muscle through that as well lol. it was nothing but hell. if i didn't get the support i did from everyone, i can say with full confidence i wouldn't have been able to pick up my pencil phone and get back to drawing Nearly as quickly as i did. in fact, i probably would still be deeply effected by it and not have the motivation to continue posting for at least a long while. so i seriously can't thank you enough for that. all the words i was told still stick with me to this day and gave me a reason to keep pushing and learn to better understand myself
im tearing up as i write this so i'll have to cut it short LOL but i want to express how deeply it means to me that through all the conflict i've experienced throughout this year, you guys were there for me and were so generous to offer your time to support me and help me out. knowing i make at least one person smile and enjoy what i post is enough for me. hopefully 2024 will be easier on the emotional rollercoasters, i think all of us could use a long break from chaos really lol
thanks for everything and i love you
-mac
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marcspectorstannie · 6 months ago
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⁂Meet the parents⁂(Steven grant x f!AA! reader)
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Summary: reader takes Steven to finally meet her parents for dinner and has to prepare him for what her family is like
Warnings: slightly cursing most likely, a little angst if u squint, black trauma
A/n: this is intended to be a female/feminine and African American reader so just a heads up! I've been thinking about writing smth like this for a while now
A/n2: this is honestly so fuckn long and I'm so sorry LOL
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"Now I have to warn you, my family is a bit...much." You both sat in the car in front of your parents house. The car was turned off so you were both is a weirdly comfortable silence. As much as you loved your family it was always rough bringing people to meet them as they always scared them away by being too loud or gossiping a bit too much. But Steven insisted on meeting them, even after your constant warnings.
"Your family can't possibly be that bad, love. I think you're just being a bit of a scaredy cat." Steven raised his eyebrows at you and tapped your nose playfully. You rolled your eyes and smiled a bit. He never met your family personally, he just knew the little stories that you would tell him that you remembered from your childhood. You closed your eyes and sighed softly "I'm not scared I have nothing to be scared of. It's just..." it was hard to tell him straight up that black families are a lot different from other families "they have their many differences to say the least, and I'm not even sure if it's just my mom and dad there or if they invited my cousi-." Cutting you off, your phone rang violently. It was your mother. Hesitantly you picked it up and placed it on speaker.
"When you gon' get here? This food gon get cold now." Your mother questioned, the pots and pans clattering in the background. "We're actually just looking for parking mama, we'll be there soon don't worry." You looked over at Steven with a nervous expression. "Aight now don't be making me wait for you and you bringing company ova to my damn house.. " You rolled your eyes at your mother's comment. "I'm not mama, I'll see you in a few." And before you could say anything else she had hung up. You sighed loudly once again and placed your head on the steering wheel. "I guess we shouldn't keep her waiting, might ring you again." Steven said softly. "Don't worry, this night will so swimmingly. " You smiled at his vocabulary and opened your car door. "Let's get this over with."
Soon enough you were knocking on the front door. Your mind was racing with all sorts of thoughts of what could happen throughout the night. "And when you're speaking to any adult just say yes or no sir or ma'am, you will quickly be called disrespectful. " You rushed out any last warnings to Steven at the door. Surprisingly he was the more calm one for once. "Breathe. I've got it. Besides,im always respectful." Just after he finished the door swung open and you both were greeted by your mother, wearing her good blouse and church shoes. "There's my baby! Come in, both of ya! " Your mother let you in and closed the door behind you. The house was exactly how it was after you moved out. That yellow-orange tint to the lighting and brown cabinets and floors. The scent of homemade food traveled through the whole house.
"Ray! Get in here, your daughter and her lil friend are here!" You'd forgotten what her yelling sounded like after so many years. She knew Steven was your boyfriend but still denys it, especially your father. You watched your father hobble into the living room with his patterned button up shirt and glistening bald head. "Though you had forgot about us, so busy thinking you grown and allat." You smiled and shook your head. You looked over at Steven at seen him picking his nails and examining the old house."Mama, dad. This is Steven." He finally looked at your parents after hearing his name and gave a small smile, sticking out his hand for them to shake. "Happy to finally meet you both,I've heard so many nice things about you." Your mom chuckled and shook his hand "Good things huh? Back then we were such awful parents to her apparently, couldn't wait to get out and live her own grown ass life." You smiled out of embarrassment "Mama I never said that at all." She put a hand on your back "Come, let's get to what y'all really came for, that good food. "
After a while of getting settled and your mom blurtting out your business to everyone, you all finally sat down in the to eat in living room. You had a kitchen and dining room, of course, but your mother would have lost her head if anyone got food in the dining room. Steven had helped your mother pass out the plates as you stayed and talked with your father on the couch.
"So tell us a lil bit about yo self, Steven. What's yo last name?" He felt his face get warm from embarrassment, "Grant, miss." Your mother turned to you with an eyebrow raise, "think you got a cousin with that name, think they up there with the Lord now though." Your eyes widened as she continued to eat as if nothing happened. "So what do you do for work, son? " Your father finally chimed in to speak after almost eating half his plate. You looked at Steven as he looked at you as well. You knew how this was going to end. "I used to work at a gift shop at a museum but I got um, fired.Sir." You saw him look down at his plate and tried to eat to distract himself from your parents reactions. "Don't be letting him use you for yo money, girl. Don't be hangin' 'round no bums." "He is not a bum, mama! How and why would you even say that?" You quickly shut down your mothers disrespectful comments. "Don't be getting smart with me girl! I can still whoop yo ass at yo grown age, don't phase me none." Your father placed a hand on your mothers shoulder, "Not in front of company, Jeanine." "I don't give a damn, Ray. I don't want my daughter with a bum. Ian saying that he is, I'm just lettin' her know to remember that."
You bit the inside of your cheek to hide your anger and you look over at Steven. He had his chin almost to his chest as he picked at his plate of food to distract himself from the argument happening in front of him. You grabbed his hand from under the table, causing him to pick his head up. "Wanna head out?" You whispered to him. He hesitated before he shook his head no,"I can handle it.." You pressed your lips together and squeezed his hand tightly. "Ok mama, I get it. Can we at least try and act presentable?" She shrugged and continued eating her food. "You watch football? Basketball? Anything like that?" Your father knew bringing up sports would annoy your mother, but it was better than the constant arguing. "No sir, I'm uh more of a cricket person myself." Steven gave him a small shy smile. "Ahh" he exclaimed "I just noticed you had that lil accent, where you from son?" "England, sir. I moved here about a year or two ago.Been trying to pick up on the american slang, so many different words."
Steven and your father talked for a few while you and your mother sat in silence. You didn't wanna say anything, the slightest thing said to you by her would be considered disrespectful and get the black slapped off you. She was silent until she suddenly let out a weird comment. "You know them British didn't like us black folks, we was slaves to them back in the day." Your eyes widened as she continued to talk "Had to follow what they said. Yo great grandmother was a slave to those British people until she was finally a free woman and had yo grandma, may her soul rest in peace." She drew the cross across her chest and pointed towards the sky. Your face was so scrunched up you almost couldn't see. Why would she bring that up, especially in front of company? It was like she wanted to embarrass you. Ever since Steven said he got fired your mother has been slick with her comments and disrespectful remarks. And of course, your father fails to do anything. You had to go home.
"You know what, it's actually getting pretty late. Think we should start heading out, he's got that job interview tomorrow." That last part was a lie, but you know your parents believed it. You just wanted to get out of there. "Lemme wrap that food up for y'all then, bring me yo' plates." Your father grabbed the plates and headed into the kitchen. Your mother didn't do anything but continue eating, not looking up once. It was like the memories from your childhood started to flood back to you just standing there. Steven took the 2 plates that your father had placed in a bag and shook his hand "Pleasure meeting you both, sir. Have a wonderful evening." Your father smiled and went to hug you. "Bye baby, sorry about your mother." You gave a fake smile to him and hugged him back before finally walking out the door. You didn't say anything until you finally got into the car and put your hands in your head.
"I'm sorry, love." Steven said quietly, placing the food on the floor of the car. "I should have insisted on meeting your family so much,this would have never happened." You felt your eyes began to sting as you quickly blinked them away. You removed your hands and shook your head, "Just wish she would change.Nothing changed since I left." You grabbed your keys and started the car before finally driving home in silence, thinking about your mother.
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soukokumychildren · 4 months ago
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I. ABSOLOUTLY. ADORE YOUR IDEA WITH YOUR AU SO MUCHhhhhaaaaah!! ✨✨✨✨🖤🖤
Chuuya having WINGS!!? Even though he could in somee way fly before already, it feels so different with wings!! Like really cool!!
(( I have always Liked wings -
Is your AU going to follow the main time-line of the show? Like, the illustrations you've posted sure does look like it-- (love them- love this idea-) ((Soukoku Reunion where Chuuya has feathers!!? ✨)
Wait, wait, wait, No- dont spoil anything..! (maybe just a little yes or no- that wouldn't really spoil anything—) I will find out as I read—!
I mainly wanted to say I'm really looking forward to reading this!!
It's my first BSD AU where it follows the main time-line - just differently- as well! A thing I really like!!
Well, if it really does ofc, but It sure does look like it—Arg, I gotta just continue reading soon——
Even if it don't this seems really interesting already!!!
Ahem, anyhow, this became a bit long- I wanted to expres my excitement about this-especially after, you even looked at some of my BSD stuff after I followed you!!!!
Thank you soo much!✨ That became the last push to write this little too long text, that isn't really a question, but more like a thank you-ahh im excited for this-- that I had already considered writing to you after I started reading😅😅👍
This entire post just made my day and while I could I'd rather not risk dying from lightheadedness from spinning too fast in excitement in my spinny chair XDDDDD THANK YOU SO MUCH
I can't express how embarrassed I am just fshfhsgshgsghshg I have been CRAZY for wings for AGES now, and I just saw soooo many posts about how "what if Chuuya could fly Dazai" I thought, fuckers, I can make that REALITY And it is going to follow the main timeline of the show just...alot differently but at the same time trying really hard to stick to the normal plot In hindsight that means I must suffer with all my energy to watch the first season of bsd (When I first watched BSD, the first episodes were for setup, and rightfully so. That all made sense, it really put the characters together. But I watched it a second time and it dragged ON and ON and I COULDN'T STAND IT UNTIL CHUUYA CAME TO GRAB DAZAI gARgHHrhgh). I must admit I'm confused on the "Soukoku reunion where Chuuya has feathers" bit though 🤔 And currently during the plot I'm writing I have to improvise ALOT from what I know, and really this fic is also whatever the fuck I wanna write with whatever writing style I have on hand slapped into each 1K chapter so I'm really trying here LOL Also the fact when [undisclosed plot device] will be introduced, I'll be writing seperate smut for [undisclosed plot device] because I can then do WHATEVER I want wITHOUT any repercussions Hopefully I can add in [undisclosed plot device] just in a way that people will understand. Though I hear that Beast Dazai also came across [undisclosed plot device] at one point :D
I'm going SO offtopic here LMFAO And seriously? Really??? I'm surprised! I'm sure theres alot of fics that go by the timeline, I especially have run into cough ones which I liked which are specifically smut related..... and I go back to off topic I'm sorry LMAO But I'm sosoosososo glad you like it! It just means alot to me you wrote alot and now I'm just ranting because you've shown genuine interest without going off the rails (as far as I've seen) so this is pretty cool for me too!!! And I do usually look to peoples accounts who follow me (especially those who find interest in a SURPRISING amount of my stuff XD) so yeah, that's why and I found some GOOD stuff on your account too, so that's REALLY awesome. Talk to me any time! Dm me, reblog and talk to me that way, use replies, whatever the fuck! I love talking to people, and this was genuinely fun to write. :]
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nefertittythegreat · 4 months ago
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Hello, I was relieved to see a kind and reasonable reblog as opposed to what I've been exposed of the fandom these past days... You can privately answer this ask or not at all, I'd hate for you to get blocked by mutuals in the fandom LOL (guess who that happened to, whoops?) I wanted to ask you about the Ferdinand fic idea that got you stonewalled?
First, I'm not afraid to be seen interacting with you! You're one of the few people who interact with me directly in the fandom, when I have literally been dying for some sort of aob interaction. I have so much love for you already, though we've only interacted a few times! It will be a shame if my mutuals block me because of this. I understand they probably want to curate their blog to avoid any AoB hate. Sometimes, you just want to keep the good times rolling, and I get that.
It would be a shame since you and me differ in opinions on a lot regarding Aob. If you ingested any of my content, you would know. For one, I'm a fervent Fermyne shipper, and I'm a Ferdinand lover. My blog will always reflect that. I mean, i have a multiple fermyne post on my blog, but at the same time, I'm in the minority(?) that prefer Sylvester over Ferdinand. Funnily enough, when i joined the fandom over 2 years ago, speaking well about Sylvester was almost unheard of. I was still at the beginning of part 3 and couldn't understand, but in part 4, I got it even if I disagreed because he's just a good boy okay? He's trying his best😭😭
Either way, even though I wasn't interacting directly with the fandom, I learned early on that the nail that sticks out will be hammered down in this fandom. And my own interactions outside of tumblr haven't been pleasant. If me a person who falls primarily in the majority regarding my opinions is feeling this then i can only imagine what someone who has interpreted the series in a different way feels and I know I must not be alone in this feeling.
I want this fandom to be a place where we can discuss freely without fear. I want this fandom to feel welcoming. I've been a part of so many fandoms, and too many of them are toxic.
I'm sorry you're getting hate. I haven't seen it in the notes, so I'll assume you're either deleting it or it's in your asks. If so, I am disappointed with us a group. I understand loving something so strongly that you feel attacked, but interacting and analyzing in the way that you do is a form of love as well and has its place in fandom.
I believe we've grown in number here on tumblr over the past two years, and it's time to organize ourselves better to prevent stuff like this from happening in the future and help everyone curate their own experience as we navigate the main tag. To be honest, I'm not even sure if we have an "official" acronym for the series yet(Are we AoB or AoaB?), but I could just be out of the loop. Maybe we should have a tag specifically for discussions and analysis in this fandom?
I'm gonna be tagging this because I feel we as a community need to think on this, and im willing to start that discussion. I just want this fandom to be as welcoming and fun as possible for everyone. We are all never gonna completely agree, but we can have fun together on here like I believe we have been.
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possibilistfanfiction · 2 years ago
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legitimately fuckin obsessed with the avatrice football au my dude. that last snippet brought me pure JOY im tellin you what
[well here's some ava pov while i procrastinate ch3 plot lol, s/o to @unicyclehippo for the worst/best gay pun of all time, love u. honestly this is long enough to put on ao3 so ... i'll do that in a footy au series i suppose for context... justice for chanel lol]
///
waking up from your first surgery is a blur, mostly an inexplicable terror when you can’t feel your legs, when you can barely move your fingers. tears leak from your eyes and you can’t wipe them, can only let them roll down into your temples. but then there’s a hand in yours, and chanel’s comforting touch, her voice soft.
‘it’ll be okay, ava,’ she says.
it won’t be okay, you’re certain of it, because you’d been taken straight from the field to the hospital, and then right into surgery, your kit cut off so that they didn’t move your spine more than you already had. you love football; you love football, the feeling of being so at home in your body, the feeling of going fast and the delight of the burn in your muscles, of not being afraid of anything.
‘i’m really scared.’ you look at chanel, showered and gorgeous, in a team issued bomber that seems impossibly elegant, even now. 
‘yeah,’ she grants, swipes her thumb against your cheeks and into your hair, catching your tears. she grabs a tissue and wipes your nose, which, from anyone else, would be absolutely horrifying, but she does it with so little fanfare and you’re in pain and also not pain — the worse option — you can’t even really care. she’s your favorite teammate: kind and brave and funny. she’s your friend. ’you’re gonna get through this, though.’
‘i don’t — i don’t want to.’
you don’t even quite know what you mean, still out of it because of pain meds and anesthesia, but chanel sighs gently.
‘you will. one day, you will.’
/
you don’t, not for a long time. after your fifth surgery you kind of tell yourself that you’ve definitely given up on football; they move you to a long-term rehab facility specifically for spine injuries, which is better than the hospital for sure, but it’s still hours and hours of physical and occupational therapy that leaves you feeling discouraged more often that not. once the inflammation starts to go down in your spine, you start to, at least, regain some function in your arms and hands, and after your sixth surgery, things are, you’ll admit, more hopeful. at the very least, you’ll be able to do things like use a manual chair and cook and type emails. 
you’re not great at texting yet; your occupational therapist is always telling you that if you worked on writing, and holding cutlery, and even more boring, pointless shit like pick up sticks, you’d have an easier time, but, whatever, you can type with the pointer finger of your right hand and it gets the job done. chanel visits as often as she can, most days in the late morning, which feels particularly generous in the off season when she could be being glamorous somewhere else, probably invited to paris fashion week or something. she brings makeup — expensive, beautiful makeup — and doesn’t seem to care when you clumsily fuck up lipstick or poke your eye with a mascara wand. you know she brings it so you actually do your occupational therapy exercises, but she also brings you changes of comfortable clothes and washes your hair gently every few days. she lies back in bed with you, long limbed and beautiful, and watches matches when you don’t feel too sad. 
a few days after your eighth surgery, your last, according to your neurosurgeon, you wear a giant back brace over your beatrice xin jersey, your favorite player to watch, and your physical therapy team gets you strapped into this harness that connects to the ceiling so you can try to walk on the treadmill and for sure won’t fall. it kind of feels like you’re doing a stunt or something, and chanel stands there and indulges you with a smile while you make all of your best ‘strapped into a harness’ jokes.
and then — you do walk. it’s slow going, the treadmill barely moving, and your legs feel sluggish and so weak and almost not like your own. it’s been two months since you took a step and it feels like a fucking miracle. chanel wipes a tear or two from her own eyes, even though you can only walk for five minutes and are sweating kind of profusely — it’s a fucking miracle, and she understands it too. 
/
‘what are you frowning at?’
she rolls her eyes and pockets her phone, easily pedaling with insane resistance on the peleton next to you while you struggle to get your legs to listen to your brain and pedal at all. ‘idiot bros on twitter. “trans women don’t belong in women’s sports” and all that bullshit.’
you stop trying to pedal because you’re already entirely unsuccessful today and now you’re not able to focus at all. ‘fuck them.’
she grins. ‘yeah.’
‘i’ll beat them up, just you watch.’
it makes her laugh, and you think she knows you really would physically get into a fight — on or off the field — if anyone ever said anything to her. 
‘plus, i can take you 1v1.’
‘in your dreams, silva.’
‘i’m going to, again. don’t even think i won’t.’
chanel pats your hand; you feel it all. ‘i’ve always known you could do it. i’ve never thought you wouldn’t, ava.’
you duck your head, unused to genuine praise after all this time stuck in the same boring, discouraging, painful rooms at the spine center, even though all of your doctors and nurses and therapists had been nice.
‘but,’ she says, ‘first you gotta pedal on this bike.’
‘it’s hard,’ you whine.
‘you’re just distracted.’
you look at the game you’d turned on, beatrice xin currently with two goals and two assists, and sigh. ‘i’m horny.’
it gets the biggest, best laugh out of chanel, and you feel a little something like pride bloom in your chest: you love making people you care about laugh. 
‘fine, fine,’ you grumble. you look down at your feet, your quads and calves so small and pale compared to six months ago; you try to breathe through the immediate fear and the tiny bit of shame that pops up. but you focus, feel your feet firmly on the pedals, think about how you know how to ride a bike; you know how to stand up straight and put on pants and kick a ball. the back brace you have on feels tight, feels restricting — but you focus on activating your quads, then your hamstrings, and you eventually get the pedals to move.
‘hell yeah,’ chanel says.
‘if you try to give me a high five right now i think i’ll get all scrambled if i try to move my hand.’
she laughs, reaches over and pats the top of your head instead. 
/
‘ava silva,’ chanel says, and you grin; you can’t help it. she holds her phone at a, thankfully, flattering angle as you walk along the beach — slowly, but steady: you trust you won’t fall, that you’re strong enough and getting stronger. ‘what does freedom feel like?’
chanel has like… three million followers, and she loves social media, something that your old club has always been thrilled about. they hadn’t renewed your contract, but you’d understood; they’re still paying for all of your medical care, so you don’t really feel upset, just a sense of loss you’re not quite ready to name. but chanel loves you, and she’s so, so happy for you — even if you never play again, you’re walking and even starting to run now; you’re in pain but it’s manageable. it’s okay.
‘it feels —‘ euphoric; devastating — ‘like a miracle.’
/
you flop down on chanel’s neatly made and extravagent bed; you’ve been staying in her guest room — which she had turned into her closet, so it’s still kind of packed with all of her beautiful clothes, although there is a very expensive bed for you — and training until, hopefully, you can get signed somewhere. she doesn’t even look up from her ipad when you sigh. ‘hello, ava.’
‘i have a favor to ask that i actually think you’ll be interested in.’
she pauses whatever she’s doing, then looks up. ‘i’m listening.’
‘well! okay, so. as you know, i’ve basically only worn hospital gowns and sweats for the last year and a half, and before that, i was, like, a child.’
chanel perks up, and you can practically see the wheels in her head turning already.
‘and now, wherever i get signed, you know, people are gonna care, and want interviews and all this stuff. so, in small part, i want to feel good about how i look for this next chapter of football.’
‘i love it,’ she says. ‘and what’s the large part?’
you flop back again, just for the dramatics. ‘i am… so horny. like, you don’t even understand.’
she laughs. ‘JC is nice though, right?’
‘yeah,’ you say, because he is. ‘but, like, girls.’
she pauses for a second, a happy smile on her face. ‘so, you want to look… more… bisexual?’
‘i mean, i do already? because i am? right?’
‘well, of course, ava.’ it’s gentle and reassuring but still a little amused.
‘but — yeah. like, i want to pick stuff i love, my clothes and my hair and whatever, gain back control, blah blah, everything my therapist is always going on about.’
‘your therapist is great, you love her.’
‘sure.’ she is; you do. ‘so anyway, i just — i guess i just want to feel like myself.’
‘now that,’ chanel says, ‘is a favor i love.’
/
‘you’re sure?’
‘it doesn’t matter if i’m sure,’ chanel says, sitting in the hairdresser’s chair next to yours. you have the salon to yourselves; she’d booked you a private appointment with her hairstylist immediately.
you turn to said stylist, dimitri, with their chic and very neat fade. ‘are you sure?’
‘like chanel said,’ they say. ‘it only matters what you want. we don’t have to do anything big.’
you look in the mirror; you hadn’t had the real opportunity to get a haircut in a long time, being in the hospital and rehab and then spending as much time as you could training after that. you haven’t, really, taken the time to deeply care for yourself, something your therapist has been bothering you about. you want, so badly, to live as big as you can. as much as you can. 
‘well, i’m sure, as long as you think it’ll, like, be good for my face shape or whatever.’
chanel and dimitri share a quick glance and then chanel rolls her eyes. ‘ava, you have to know that you’re beautiful, right?’
you pause for what you feel is an appropriate amount of time. ‘yes.’
‘but since you asked,’ dimitri says, ‘i do think this will be great for your face shape.’
‘alright,’ you say, feeling suddenly very excited and a little buoyed. ‘let’s fucking do it, then.’
chanel cheers and dimitri grins; they wash your hair gently, and you feel a little panicked until chanel starts talking about the threesome she had a few nights ago, which is delightful and grounding enough you stay, fairly easily, in the present of this beautiful, outrageously expensive salon, the control you get to have. not that you’re thrilled about your therapist being completely 100% correct, but… she was right. 
dimitri dries your hair and then combs it out patiently, divides it and then clips up the top part. ‘ready?’
‘definitely.’
chanel grins and it’s easy, so much easier than you knew it would be, to sit and watch yourself become. you’re filled with a sense of joy, this tiny seed that grows as dimitri cuts your hair to your chin precisely, and asks you about your plans for the day, and food you love, and chanel talks about her latest modeling contract — in addition to football, which amazes you in a way that makes you feel proud in the very center of your chest, this incredible person who showed up and helped take care of you. you feel your shoulders relax; you feel your feet firmly in the new sneakers converse had sent you, comfortable and cool; you even take time to feel your butt in the chair with the knowledge that you don’t need to do any pressure reliefs or weight shifts because, when dimitri is done, you’ll be able to stand up and walk and dance and run and even play football. and even if — even if — one day, you couldn’t, you have your friends and your teammates and your life.
‘you look hot, ava,’ chanel says, very genuinely, after dimitri finishes with a leave in, then shows you how to dry your hair and recommends a light oil. 
‘go ahead,’ they say, ‘run your hands through it, all that jazz.’
to touch; to feel. you think you might cry, all of a sudden, with your soft hair that you picked, that you wanted, and chanel takes in your wobbling bottom lip and then tuts and pulls you toward her. because of your height difference, your face is basically smooshed into her chest and, even though you do cry, you laugh too, wet and messy and alive.
‘this probably my favorite place in the world,’ you say.
chanel shoves you playfully and you grin up at her. 
‘thank you.’
she waves you off, as she always does when she’s a little overwhelmed too. ‘don’t thank me yet. now we have to go shopping.’
/
it’s not as bad as you’d feared; despite the fact that chanel only wears the most elegant designer clothes — her closet is full of gucci and bottega and, of course, chanel, and a whole shelf of louboutins — but she also loves you and knows you, deeply, and so when her driver pulls up to a row of a few very cool-looking thrift stores, you have to hug her again. she gives you helpful feedback on pieces and outfits and you feel, quite genuinely, happier than maybe you ever have. you buy crop tops and high waisted, loose jeans and a few sweaters you love; some silly earrings and a necklace and a cap that chanel laughs at, but fondly enough you know it works. you find a men’s button up with a bunch of flames on it and she rolls her eyes but you put it on anyway, knot it at your waist so it feels just above your shorts.
‘do i look bi?’
‘you look a little bit crazy, but i definitely wouldn’t think you’re straight.’
you’re practically shaking with excitement: ‘it’s… flaming. i’m flaming! get it!’
chanel groans. ‘ava,’ she says, but wraps an arm around your shoulders and throws it on the growing pile anyway.
/
you feel happier than maybe you ever have until the next morning, when you come back from a silly game of football on the beach with her and JC and a few of your other friends, your hair spilling out of the tiny bun you’d managed to get it into, which had made you laugh, and sit down to have some burrata — another one of your favorites that chanel indulges in getting for you from time to time, even did while you were in the hospital and she had to put it on little crackers and feed it to you herself — and then accept a call from your agent. you step inside to take it, close the door softly. 
after it’s done, you yank the door open this time, burst onto the patio. all of your nerves are alive; in your shorts, your legs look strong again, tan and muscular and capable.
‘good news?’
you’re almost too excited to explain that you’re getting signed by your favorite club, $6 million for the year, with, if all goes well, an option to extend your contract another season after. a bonus: they just hired dr. jillian salvius, one of the best sports specialists in the world. all of your care will be, of course, included.
chanel starts to cry, which makes you start to cry, and she hugs you to her tightly. 
‘i am so happy for you,’ she says. ‘and i’m really gonna miss you.’
‘i’m gonna miss you too,’ you tell her. 
she backs up and puts her hands on your shoulders, a smile sneaking up her face. ‘you know, i happen to remember your favorite player in the whole entire world playing at a certain club.’
you hadn’t really thought past football and then six million dollars, but — ‘fuck.’
chanel laughs, face beautiful and delicate and rich in the sun. ‘i can’t wait to show her pictures of you in her jersey.’
‘oh god, are there any on my instagram? i have to go check.’
she just keeps laughing, and it’s all brimming, so wonderful, right at your fingertips.
/
you sign a few days later, your hands steady.
/
‘well,’ chanel asks, lounging back in bed on zoom, ‘how was day one?’
‘oh my god.’ your hair is still wet from the shower you took at the training grounds; you had raced back to your new apartment to make sure you were on time for your call. ‘i got there early, to play a little bit, get the nerves out, you know. and guess who was there and wanted to play 1v1?’
she grins. ‘no fucking way.’
‘i got schooled, obviously,’ you say, think of the way beatrice xin had moved with the ball, how surely she went into tackles, how precise she was. ‘i did score twice, though, and nutmegged her once. greatest football moment of my life, i’m pretty sure.’
‘what’s she like?’
you think chanel is probably humoring you, but you don’t care. ‘beatrice is… beautiful.’ it’s really the only word you have: her neat bun that stayed in place perfectly other than a few errant strands by the end of the session today; her clipped, lovely accent; the way her calves had looked while she was sprinting; the delicate lines of her face; her freckles and her eyes; how she had been serious and professional but kind; her strong back, muscles rippling under her skin in a way that made you shiver, in the locker room when she had untucked her quarterzip and pulled it over her head; how she seemed lonely, despite it all. ‘she’s really beautiful.’
/
it’s a while later when the sheer mortification dawns on you, but then beatrice, in her weird, hot, hilarious way, seems to dissipate the extreme embarrassment you’re going to be faced with by being embarrassing first.
‘hello, chanel.’ she reaches out her hand very seriously, in her favorite linen jumpsuit and a very expensive pair of off-white dunks and black, cat eye sunglasses that are honestly cooler than you expected, in front of her favorite nice brunch place. chanel shoots you a glance and then shakes bea’s hand firmly while you both try not to laugh. 
‘hey, it’s great to meet you.’
‘you, as well,’ bea says. ‘i — before we sit, i just wanted to extend my admiration, for the work you have done both on and off the field for trans equity in our sport.’
it’s so serious, and so genuine, chanel seems a little disarmed and a little affected. ‘thank you.’
bea nods once, seriously. ‘and, maybe more importantly, even, my deep gratitude, for caring for ava. she’s spoken so highly of you, and it means — i love her,’ bea decides on, after a pause. ‘i’m glad, immeasurably so, that she has people who love her too.’
chanel suspiciously sniffles. ‘can i give you a hug? is that weird?’
bea smiles, a real smile, your favorite, and opens her arms. you resist the urge, passionately, to make a joke about how the two hottest (sorry, lilith) women you know together is really gonna do it for you during your alone time later, which is honestly a fucking feat.
‘well,’ chanel says, ‘i made a presentation of every embarrassing thing ava has done that you should know about.’
‘oh no.’
bea loops her arm with chanel when she gallantly offers, and bea says, ‘oh yes.’ you trail behind them, feeling short and small and bursting with happiness. chanel orders basically the entire menu for you to try and she and bea laugh at your expense when chanel opens her phone and does, indeed, have an entire canva presentation of you being embarrassing, but you don’t really mind at all. the sun warms your shoulders and you drink champagne that costs way too much money, the bubbles bright on your tongue. chanel laughs and bea puts her hand on your thigh, just like that: you feel it all.
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crushedsweets · 10 months ago
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Hi there! Not sure if this has been done already but it’d be sick to get your take on what their zodiac signs might be :)
AHHH OK i love this!! here's a post for their birthdays but i'll still list their zodiacs!
BUT i'm not THAT familiar with zodiacs outside of silly stereotypes, and i chose a lot of their birthdays because of vibes (season, months, holidays, etc) rather than zodiacs... but i'll talk about some of my thought process anyway
also i gave some characters their canon bdays, and some i changed bc i cared more about vibes. LOL
Kate - cancer Tim - gemini Brian - aries Toby - taurus Natalie - scorpio Nina - aquarius Jeff - gemini Liu - gemini Jane - capricorn Jack - sagittarius Ben - sagittarius Sally - taurus Lulu - pisces Ann - scorpio Dina - virgo (aug 28 2008) Lazari - capricorn (dec 25 2011)
OKAY SO. kate, tim, brian, toby natalie, and lazari's birthdays are just their canon(or what wikipedia says lol) birthdays, so thats their zodiacs.. i think toby fits really well though, he's a stubborn bitch. natalie's fits well too cuz she's very independent. otherwise, no decision other than sticking w canon went into this
nina is an aquarius because i wanted her birthday to be Feb 13. cuz thats a day before valentines day, and i wanted her to always be short of love
jeff and liu are geminis because i wanted them to be the twins. i also chose lius birthday to be the first day of summer! just cuz i liked it
jane as capricorn because shes very driven, hardworking, smart, etc
jack as sagittarius because i wanted him to have a december/winter bday... and i thought sagittarius fit his past personality before the sacrifice
ben is also sagittarius. dunno why? im gonna change him to be a leo or libra cuz im lacking those two and he seems more summer/fall birthday...
sally is taurus cuz i wanted her to be born in may. cuz 'april showers bring may flowers' is a pretty phrase to me. and 9 is a pretty number, so may 9
lulu is a pisces cuz i wanted her to have a december/winter bday too. i just associate december with this deep navy blue that works for jack and lulu...
ann is scorpio cuz i wanted her to have an october birthday and scorpio just fit the vibe
dina is a virgo cuz i wanted to have a virgo and its ruled by mercury which i read something about being seen as the messenger for the gods, which is perf for dina. and the date is 28/8/08 which sorta resembles an angel number LOL. i WAS gonna make her birthday 1/11 or 2/22 but i already had enough of those zodiacs. we'll see if i move things around though!
lazari is a capricorn . i was actually gonna make her a capricorn before i realized her birthday is cannonically on christmas BECAAUUUSE capricorns are goats and goats are considered demonic etc etc.
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thekrows-nest · 3 months ago
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'Krow doesn't really like it when it gets SUPER hot, but he fairs better with extreme than extreme cold. He gets a bit more energized with the heat while the cold saps it. If it's cold enough, he will conk out.
0000000 the brainwoms, idk if it's just me reading into things too much because l've taken care of and had an intrest in them before, but this just SCREAMS some sorta reptile or reptilian to me. I rlly hope someone else hasn't already guessed this ^^'
If that is right I am tempted to say Loch Ness monster but that just might be my soft spot for Nessie since my Nana is from glasgow and introduced me to the story lol! Thinking about it realistically the Loch Ness monster is known for being huge and having a tall neck and being able to swim so unless he's looking like the exact opposite in order to help disguise it more, that's probably very off (although I believe you said that he COULD swim just never got lessons (😭😭)) And Im pretty sure you mentioned that he’s very heavy for his height so that could explain where the mass comes from (hiding a much larger form in a smaller body) Though also you said Gabby was immediately set off by him and she’s more familiar with indigenous American folklore and since the Loch Ness monster is a Scottish folklore based off of kelpies (also a possibility something from the water capable of Shapeshifting into the form of something else though I know that those are also a common Scottish folklore and I’m not sure if they’re as prevalent in indigenous American stories ^^’ and also again the swimming thing-)
Sorry for my ramble I just read that ask and my brain immediately went into hyperdrive ^^’ also sorry if I got any information wrong I’m not a super huge theorist so this is just what’s from my brain of what I remember being mentioned on the blog ^^’
Inch resting lil brain worms you got there, very interesting. And a theory I haven't gotten!
I'll confirm that it's not correct, however, your heart is in the right place.
I believe there's a couple of asks around where the (mostly) correct answer was listed or guessed at.
Gabby has gotten more familiar with other supernatural critters over the years, but more so it's like... Native ones just stick in her brain as more "real" than others, cause it's what she grew up on. And with Krow, it's more so she thinks he's a creep (which, I mean, she's not wrong) than that he's actually some... secret spooky monster.
But there IS something up with Krow. I will confirm that much.
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inkofamethyst · 5 months ago
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June 13, 2024
I.. don't think I'm as well-adjusted to grad school as I'd hoped. I feel behind but I'm not even sure how to "catch up" or what specifically I am not doing. I just want to do more but I feel intimidated by what "more" might be. My days are mostly empty outside of a single lab-based task that might take one to three hours. Admittedly, I did procrastinate myself out of that bioinformatics "course". I do intend to start that back up again. I do want to learn (I was intimidated by the homework (only recently did I realize that I literally do not actually have to do the homework if I don't want to lol, this is all asynchronous and semi-recreational for my own benefit)). I think that's a major part of why I feel like I could be doing more. My postdoc is working like 12 hour days or something while I come in and lounge for four hours or so (I've recently been making an effort to do six hours though, even if it's just me sitting and reading (fiction >.<) for most of the time (I'll start an anthropology book after this series I promise)).
I have started learning music theory though. Only barely, it feels like, but it's more than any true theory I'd absorbed through the years of band classes and orchestra rehearsals (I know what a "diminished sixth" means now (kinda) and can point it out in sheet music (most of the time)! I can differentiate between three different minor scales (most of the time)!). I plan to leisurely make my way through a semester's worth of lectures on it. I want a good understanding of why music works so I can hopefully get good at improvisation (also I need to relinquish the idea that I'm going to be some improv master at first try--because that's not going to happen. it'll likely take weeks of trials and lots of errors before I get any sort of feel for what sounds "decent").
I've been reading Jade City by Fonda Lee and woah. I think this would make an excellent television show. It's soooo good. Fantasy action, my genre beloved (and politics?? bro im in LOVE), but inspired by a totally different culture than what I typically read. The naming switcharoo took a bit of getting used to sure but it's far more immersive that way. I would love to see this in live action and thirst after Hilo bc you know the casting director would do him right. I'm glad I decided to stick with her on a whim.
I wish the pollen wasn't still so bad (I have to keep my windows open all the time bc no ac, and pollen flies in 24/7 and coats absolutely everything which is the worsttttt. thankfully my bed doesn't get too much of it but UGH), I'd love to spend more time outside. The flowers are lovely but I'm ready for the trees to pack it upppp.
My mom thinks I'm being too social for me to handle. I haven't had a full weekend to just isolate and chill in a month. There's just so much to do, though! I want to do it all now that the weather is warm. This area has lots of events all the time. I have to remember that I have five more years, I guess.
Today I'm thankful that at least I'm not being pushed too hard.
Brought to you from inside the lab (my postdoc has stepped out hehe) where I am desperately trying to find things to do. I think I'm going to register for some trainings or something.
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abitofafreudmoment · 9 months ago
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HELLO IRL FRIEND OF NICO
i have noticed that you are into discworld and would like to hear more about it bc i am interested in reading it but am incapable of getting into anything unless it's been hyped up to me enough and you seem like you'd be willing to ramble lovingly about this series so uhh. favorite characters? what's it about? themes? fun tidbits?
(no pressure though and sorry if this is a weird way to introduce myself hi im luce)
lol no worries Luce! yes I'm very happy to ramble for you. (post-writing here, this is so all over the place sorry for like not sticking to one area but hey it's defos a loving ramble - kinda just talked about vague stuff, but I can 100% go into specifics).
So. . . where do I begin?
40 books in the series, he wrote right up until his death. NOT a continuous plotline through all 40. In fact, I recommend not starting with the first one (two actually)as it's not spectacular (that being said, it is still worth reading once you're in the series, good for the overall worldbuilding if memory serves). below is a sorta ok guide to how they connect - I have my issues with it but it's the best I've found.
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I wouldn't recommend starting with Sourcery, but that's cuz Rincewind isn't my favorite character - I'd start with either equal rites or Lords and Ladies or Mort or The Truth or The Fifth Elephant or just wherever really as long as it isn't the Colour of Magic or the Light Fantastic.
A few crucial ordering things - READ THUD AND SNUFF (and ig Making Money and Going Postal) BEFORE RAISING STEAM. READ THIEF OF TIME BEFORE NIGHT WATCH. Those are the really imperative ones that you gotta order right, generally do it vaguely chronologically and yeah. Have at it.
The Hedgehog Song - this is a tidbit that shows up a lot in the Witches books as a very rude song that Nanny Ogg sings, BUT WE NEVER GET THE WORDS and I so want them.
Because it was written over 32 years, there are so many characters that just like slowly worm their way into it and I love watching a character turn from like a single footnote into a fully-fledged, important-to-the-plot character (I'm looking at YOU, Cassanunda)
SPEAKING OF FOOTNOTES OMG the books are riddled with them and. . . chef's kiss they add So Much to the series. They're so funny.
Pratchett is actually just like so funny as an author in general, but wittily so. Not saying he does pure comedy - he doesn't. Many a time have I cried over a Pratchett book. He's also great at taking stuff and . . . twisting it ig into something brilliantly new - Take, for instance, Maskerade, which is the Phantom of the Opera but Pratchettifyed (New word! yay! I'll be using it a lot I'm sure.). or like just what he does with Fairy Tales in general (Witches Abroad, Lords and Ladies sorta)
Also his MAGIC omg - soft magic system done right. I also love like the different approaches to magic that the witches and wizard have to it. Also how like the Creatures from the Dungeon Dimensions get [spoilers removed]
The gods man. Love them. They exist, they feed off of raw belief (Small Gods' premise is that people start believing in the institution formed around a god as opposed to the god itself and then that god like almost dies cuz no-one believes in him. (surprise surprise it's a commentary on the Church)) and they play games with the lives of men (the Last Hero). Love Granny Weatherwax's opinion on them which goes smthn like this: "No use believin' in 'em, it only serves to encourage 'em." <-- As a concept belief is not simply tied to the gods either. He does a lot of stuff about how what people believe to be true can affect how they perceive things around them.
THE FOOLS. Pratchett understood the tragedy of clowns and as such his fools are so insanely sad - the Fools' Guild is the least happy of all the guilds. I love them so much
Speaking of guilds: the Guild of Thieves. is a legit guild set up by Vetenarii to do crime to the socially acceptable level and no higher - I'm doing a bad job explaining it but it's ingenious.
Vetenarii is probably one of my favorite characters in the entire series. He, above all else, understands how humans work and he uses that skill to get people to do what he wants.
Pratchett does not pull the punches when it comes to messaging and such - very anti-war, anti-racism, anti-sexism etc. Also love what he does with People and how they can/can't be controlled (The human condition as a whole ig) - one of my fav quotes from the series is Vimes saying "They're scared. You can't expect much from people when they're scared."
My personal fav book is Monstrous Regiment, which is relatively standalone. Very good. Very "horrors of war"-y with a touch of the classic [redacted due to spoilers].
I could go on, but this post is getting very long so if I do continue I'll do it in another post.
TL;DR: Pratchett = FUCKING BRILLIANT
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sinning-23 · 2 years ago
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Socket Wrench: Chapt. 3
Sooooo this chapter ended up being kinda lengthy ngl. Im REALLY tryna build that tension between DK and the reader but also make it kinda awkward cause they just met but they can't help but like take jabs and flirt back and forth with each other cause they've gotten a bit comfortable with one another. ANYWHO, enjoy! Maybe 3-4 more chapters after this annnnd then it shall be COMPLETE lol.
ALSO, Chapter 2 found here
ok, I'm done fr. enjoy :D
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Chapter 3: Blow dice, Kiss tires
“So we ambush them at the end of this road?” You question making sure you got all the details right as Peach nods sternly. 
The plan was to use the carts to try and get to Bowser before he even knew it and not only save Luigi but the Mushroom and Jungle Kingdoms from being attacked. If he was coming to the Princess he wasn't going to just stop there, he’d take over everything. The next step was to prepare, and quickly. Luckily, the garage wasn't too far, and based on what you’d learned from your last time being there, they could build their carts easily, and you'd be able to finish yours with that kind of tech. 
“Let's make moves then.” You hum, leading the way to the garage, DK close behind. 
There were a few things that needed to be addressed but you kept your mouth shut, trying not to think about how well this whole plan would play out. Worse comes to worse, you die here or even one of them gets hurt and the plan goes to shit. You sigh heavily, gaining even more of DK’s attention as if he wasn't burning holes into you every time he thought he could catch a glance at you while you walked. 
“You look tense,” He begins, following you to your bike once the garage is opened, trying to get you to break your silence. 
“I'm kind of freaking out, but it's fine.” You admit, trying to shake your nerves off as you place the tires onto the bike you crafted, the model and color of the rims contrasting nicely with the overall build.
“You're gonna be fine, just stick close to me, and no worries.”He offers, voice raised an octave
“With how you got your shit rocked earlier? I’ll take my chances.” You shoot back jokingly as he laughs sarcastically at the jab. 
“Very funny.” He responds, watching you work in awe. You moved so quickly yet so precisely. He had hardly noticed you placing the final details before hopping on and revving it. 
“Perfect.” You whisper out, jutting your head for him to come closer. 
“Kiss 'em.” You chuckle, motioning towards the tires. 
“What? Why?” He laughed back, trying to figure out where you were trying to go with this. 
“For luck, it's like blowing dice right?” You question, revving the engine again.
“I need all the luck I can get pretty boy. So how about this, you kiss my tire and I’ll kiss yours. Deal?” You joke, seeing him shake his head as you hop off the bike, a flustered look on his face. 
“I'm just messing with you, let me change and I'll be back to help with the rest of the karts.” You gulp, patting DK’s shoulder before heading off. 
He shakes his head, making his way to his own kart. Kiss the tires? Weird request but you did ask nicely. Though, he was more reeling over you calling him ‘pretty boy’ more than anything. 
—-----
Not much time had passed when you returned, a biking suit matching your motorcycle much like how the Princesses matched her own. Guess great minds thought alike. 
“Looks nice, yeah? You should take a picture, it'll last longer.” You hum, catching DK eyeballing you a little bit longer than usual. He smirks at your statement, watching you fix your boots.
 You pause for a moment, motioning for him to come closer, which he has absolutely no problem doing. Before he can even process what you were trying to do, your fingers are already adjusting his tie with a soft smile. 
“Now we both look nice.” You hum, driving forward and leaving him somewhat slack-jawed
It was about time for you all to leave, the bike and karts aline revving to prepare for the battle ahead. You sigh, rolling your bike next to the Princess as she smiles back at you, happy to have another woman on the team. Girlbossing alone gets exhausting after a bit. You rev your bike and dart out, eager to get to where you needed to as Peach follows next to you.
You hadn’t been able to ride a kart on your own yet, but damn did it feel nice speeding on these foreign roads, the wind blowing your braids back, the ponytail you once had discarded for your usual down look. You were so caught up in your own head you hadn't noticed Peach trying to get your attention.
“So, did they make you duel too?” She jokes, keeping up the conversation. You giggle in response
“Fortunately for me no, I wouldn't have won that fight. DK seems to know what he's doing. I just proved myself by working on the karts. It was fairly simple to understand.” You explain, a prideful look splayed over your features.
“I see. Soooo, that's why you two are on good terms, or maybe?” She side-eyes you, smirking but you quickly shut it down. 
“Oh stop! He just showed me around the kingdom and the garage…and we talked.” You explain, reminiscing over the eye contact and light touches. Hell, even the quick interaction from the garage. How stupid was that to ask him to ‘kiss the tires’ jesussssss. 
“Wait no! Listen, he's a prince and I'm some random girl from Brooklyn. Besides I mean I'm sure he's got plenty of fans drooling over him. Honestly, I don't know how to feel, he's such a dork.” You giggle, trying not to steal a glance at him and failing. Looks like a quiet conversation with Mario surprisingly. 
“Honestly, I wouldn't mind staying here with him. He may seem like a showoff, which is very true but he's a sweetheart under it all. I actually think he wants me to stay too.” You explain, that same hotness crawling up your spine and into your face.
It wasn't long before Mario drove up beside her, also striking up a conversation while you lean back and take his previous place next to DK. The silence seemed to drag on as you both looked at each other simultaneously, only to look away and clear your throat. There's definitely tension here, awkward, flirty, or otherwise and god was it suffocating. 
“How's it riding?” He chokes out, trying to cover up his embarrassment. 
“Oh, um it's perfect! I’ve never built my own bike before.” You giggle, adjusting the way you were sitting, catching his eyes again. 
“I'd hope so, otherwise that kiss was for nothing.” He quips, avoiding your gaze with that stupid boyish grin. 
He actually did it for you?
“You…really?” You sigh, heart beating out of your chest as your face feels as if it's gonna melt from how hot it is. 
“Yeah, I figured why not. The fact that you suggested it was cute.” He admits, seeing you tuck your bottom lip between your teeth. 
“Didn't think you’d take me seriously, I didn't even follow through with the deal.” You hum, finally gaining the courage to look at him
“I know, you can make it up to me later.” He chuckles, the statement laced with something suggestive.
You speed up, seeing the ramp come to an end, DK catching up behind you as you begin following down Rainbow Road. There wasn't much left to cover before you made it to your destination, and anxiety eats away at you.  It wasn't hard for DK to tell so he sped up just to catch up to you, wanting to keep you from isolating yourself. 
“The crease on your forehead is gonna be permanent if you keep looking like that.” DK jokes, poking the spot as you smile into the touch a bit, pulling away just before he could notice. 
“I know, I know. Just nervous.” You admit, a heavy sigh filling the air. 
“I get it. A lot has happened to you so far. Like I said, just stay close.” He hums, shooting you a smile you so desperately needed to see. 
You giggle a bit, shaking your head. 
“Hey, I got a question about that duel earlier.” You add, seeing his interest spike. He loves answering questions you had for him, and it seemed he was comfortable enough to ramble on and on about whatever the next topic led to. And you were happy to listen. 
“You have a theme song? That's actually hilarious, but kinda cute.” You joke, as his face seems to flush and he clears his throat. 
“I-I didn't think you were paying attention to that.” He admits, trying to avoid your teasing gaze. 
“Ohhhh I paid quite a lot of attention to your showing off, saw you flex, kiss your muscles, pop your pecs, and thrust the air back to back…You’re quite the showoff aren't you?” You taunt, a laugh escaping your throat. 
He’s cute when he’s embarrassed, hand gripping the wheel for dear life and he looks elsewhere.
“Ohhh don't get shy now. Your fans adored it, and I'll admit, watching you fight was pretty fun. You play dirty though.” You explain, noticing his once embarrassed expression warp into a flirty smile.
“First of all, I'm like, the most UN-SHY person you’ll ever meet. And second, you just admitted to liking the show, so I must be doing something right huh? I bet you liked me playing ‘dirty’ huh?” He bites back, watching you freeze up.  
It was your turn to be shy now. 
“Y-You… I never said-....shut up and drive boy.” You sputter, trying to hide the fact that you may or may not have exposed yourself. He laughs in response, shaking his head at how you could dish it out but not take it. Despite the moment being nice, something was wrong….If this Bowser was any kind of smart, he would have insight into your plan and come up with some kind of counterattack.
And sure enough, there was a brigade of soldiers from who you could only assume was Bowser. “It's an ambush!” Peach calls as you speed up on your bike, trying to figure out the best strategy. 
The rest of the army speeds up as well and war ensues upon the road ahead, shells and banana peels flying from either end, anyone bound to get caught in the crossfire. You dodge a red shell, using one of the other koopas as a projectile, tossing the shell over your shoulder and passing one to the princess. 
You managed to get separated from the main group, a gang of 4 hot on your tail as you try to lose them, slamming on your breaks as they speed past and you make a U-Turn, heading back to the group. 
The sound of screeching tired and angry shouting fills your ears all before a loud boom shakes the road, making you lose balance off your bike and fall off. The blast was looser than you expected, the wave sending you backward and leaving your ears ringing. The world spins as you try to regain balance, a sense of panic taking over as you hear Peach call for Mario and sure enough falling into the water below, was Mario and DK. 
Your feet move on their own, your books padding against the road as you try to dodge debris and dive in after them. DK was almost immediately knocked unconscious by a tire that had fallen, leaving you and Mario to swim after him to pull him back to the surface. You’re 
gasping for air, trying to catch your breath as you choke on the salty ocean water.
 “Find something to float on!” You cough out, grabbing onto whatever you could while DK chokes out the water he swallowed.
“You saved my life.” He huffs, more surprised that Mario did but grateful you helped as well.
"Yeah well, I won't tell anyone," Mario responds, hoping for a lil camaraderie.
"Good please don't," Gk responds, seeing you snicker and shake your head. The moment was unfortunately cut short as the three of you found yourselves scrambling to get away from an eel that was hellbent on swallowing you whole. 
-Meanwhile-
Peach speeds down the remainder of the road to get back to her kingdom. The plan had obviously failed and as far she knew, you Mario, and DK were as good as gone. The Kong army had been captured and scooped away to be held as prisoners by Bowser. There was almost no time to evacuate the kingdom but she was quick and concise in her decision, rushing any of her citizens to safety before preparing to face Bowser alone. 
The ground shook and trembled as his floating castle hovered overhead. It was now or never, if she could at least keep him occupied here and keep her subjects safe, she’d fight til the end. She was surrounded now with Toad by her side as she held her weapon defensively. 
-at the bottom of the FUCKING ocean-
You're pacing now, trying to see if this eel had an exit. Hell if it wasn't gonna open from the front your best bet was the back, but after walking for so long you figured there was no use. Your head is pounding and your clothes are soaked. It's dark and cold and you're trying to figure out how this whole ordeal would be explained to your dad when you never came home.
You sigh heavily, holding your head in your hands, peeling off the soaked biking jacket, and dropping it beside DK’s busted kart. Pausing for a moment, hearing footsteps approach you and of course, DK decides you look like you need some company. 
“How’re you holding up?” He asks, standing beside you as you sigh heavily and shake your head no.
“Why did you dive in after us? You could have gone with the princess to help her-”
“And leave you here to drown? Yeah right. I know it wasn't the smartest but it's like my body moved on its own.” You admit hands clenched at your sides. 
“I guess I've grown a lot more attached to you than I thought.” You hum, seeing his eyes soften at your frantic state. 
“Attached how?” He presses, hoping you'd be the first to confess the growing feelings in the pit of your stomach just so he could have a chance to confess and make it less awkward.
“I-...I don’t know, I just think we’ve grown closer as friends so far.” The word is bitter on your tongue and damn does your chest ache when his lips press in a line and he nods slowly. Ouch.
“Yeah, yeah totally me too.” He hisses out, rocking back and forth a bit to try and clear the tension.
“…”
“....”
“Any ideas? You huff out, forcing yourself to talk away from the situation despite feeling every bone in your body tell you not to. 
Bits of swallowed Rainbow Road illuminate the area as Mario shakes his head, nothing coming to mind. Your hands shake as you pace again, Mario and DK’s eyes following your panicked state. 
“Everything was going so well, I shouldn't have let you guys down there and separated from the group I-I could have done something.” You ramble, chest rising and falling quicker with every word you ramble. 
“Hey, it's not your fault…IT'S HIS!” DK points, Making the Italian furrow his brows. 
An argument was sure to ensue now, insults being thrown back and forth while you contemplate your existence. You tried to devise a plan but nothing was coming to mind. The sound of bickering was getting louder and it sure as hell wasn’t helping your situation. 
“At least you’ll die without your father thinking you’re a joke.” DK huffs, looking more defeated than anything. 
At the end of the day, he was probably acting how he did because he wanted his father's approval. You knew that feeling too well…Back home the only thing you wanted was for your dad to acknowledge how hard you work. You stopped eventually, realizing that you should be proud of yourself regardless of what he or others think. He settled for the same old 9-5 he hated and you followed your heart and dreams. If anything that was far more commendable. 
“My dad thinks I'm a joke too,” Mario confirms, the air thick for a moment as DK breathes heavily going to speak again. 
“Yeah well….YOUR DAD'S RIGHT!” He shoots back, making you pinch the bridge of your nose as they continue to bicker back and forth. 
“ALRIGHT GIRLS.” You interrupt, scowl present as they take the hint to stop. 
Arguing wasn't going to solve anything.
“We all have daddy issues, fantastic. Now can we figure out how to get out of here and prove them wrong?” You question, a brow raised as you look between the two of them. 
“There has to be a way out...it's not rocket science.” You chuckle, realization hitting you.
“Wait wait….your kart. Follow me!” You interrupt, booking it to the discharged kart with one lone rocket looking like a glimmering beacon of hope. The three of you share a look. 
Let's get this shit.
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snufflepup · 12 days ago
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Yeah! From what I've seen of his game play on the cn server (about 4 updates ahead of mine [global server] because the global release was about 5 months after the cn release), he's super meta^^. Yeah honestly I wish I could go back in time and just stop her from breaking up with me cause I mean I loved her like death. Still do, but I'm trying so hard to move on cause atp I can see she lied when she said she'd love me forever and never break up. Yeah it's a white sugar stick and you lick it and dip it in green powder that turns blue^^ it tastes tart and like blue rasberry^^. I don't like suckers much cause they make my mouth feel wierd, but i love cherry suckers a lot. What are moams? Like marshmallows or something? Oh I liked once upon a time! Idk anyone my age who's seen it too lol. I watched it off my mom's DVDs up to season 5 I think. Sucks you can't really watch it. I'll start watching it tonight if I have time^^ I'll probably watch it with my sister cause she likes watching stuff with me^^. I can get that, I was like that with My hero academia before I fell out of love with the series. It was my first anime, so maybe I would have liked it more if I didn't hear so much hate for it lol. Konosuba is a comedy issekai, it's pretty funny and the mc is cool too^^. Hes hot and pretty funny and stupid. That sounds hillarious, im for sure watching it^^. I'm glad you like something so much^^ It's okay, sorry for being a bit of a bother about it -_-', I mean my asks are long lol. my days been okay, apart from trying to still work things out with my bitch of an ex. How's yours been? You said in my other asks tags that it wasn't the best lol. Do you not like cussing or something? Cute^^
-ike<3
That's cool then !!! ^–^ That's fair, I would probably feel the same if it haooened to me ! ooo ! I see ! I think there are similar things here !! It sounds good ! They are sort of like, chew-y things that come in a couple of different shapes ! A thin slab like shape, balls that have a harder shell, long rectangular sticks and little cubed packets that have a couple squares of them !! They come in a couple different flavours, but I think the sour ones are the ones I like the best ! I only tried them last halloween I think and since then I've always looked for them ! but there are always only like three of them if you buy the packet (◞ ‸ ◟' ' ) but the others are still good ! They are a similar texture to starbursts, if you know that ! They are pretty common where I am !! I watched it a lot when I waa youbger, but I stopped being uo to date with it for a while ! but I decided to watch everything but then . it happened . and then I just . can't do it . Maybe if I wasn't watching it by myself I could, or if someone wanted me too, but I get all . fjdhkfd /neg by myself ! Fairy Tail was my first anime, that I knew was an anime, at least ! I liked ponyo and stuff when I was younger ! Seeing all the dislike about it didn't make me dislike it, it just made me not really like a lot of people . It made me really sad epecially because a lot of the criticisms didn't actually . make sense, or at least then I didn't think so ! Like how people don't like the power of friendship stuff, to me it makes sense because of course they're emotional and their magic is fueled by emotions !! but I can understand more now, back then it confused me to no end ! Even if everyone dislikes it, I still like it a lot and I don't think that will ever change lol It's okay ! Don't worry, you weren't !!! I also used to be super into mha too ! I actually saved half of class 1-A's birthdays on my phone, only have because I . gave up halfway though, and still sometimes get alerts on my phone for them ! oooh !! cool !!! Is the water girl from that ? I saw a lot of her a couple years ago. . . aqua ? I'm . not sure . but I have been meaning to watch it, I think ! If it is a isekai then it is probably on one of my lists somewhere . I got really really into isekai animes a couple of months ago, more so the villainess ones but !
I'm glad your day has been alright, apart from that I mean ! Mine has been pretty good !! ( ≧ᗜ≦) nono I meant like . I have had a day were I am bad with words ! I don't know if that makes sense, but I can be a little . weird like that sometimes, like words are just . difficult to use !! I get bad hearing days too. . . I'm not really . sure why sometimes it just happens ! I can swear a lot sometimes, to be honest . I think my most said word for a while was shit
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six-of-ravens · 1 month ago
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im procrastinating dishes so time to make a cheeseballs self improvement post:
in September I made progress on unfucking my sleeping schedule, started doing hobbies more regularly including writing, and developed a basic skincare routine that's actually working. excellent progress!
goals for October/the rest of winter are to continue with those and also add some new things (not sure if I'll stick with all of them, but I want to see how much I can do and some of them are as simple as "don't buy that thing" so):
start waking up at 7:15 instead of 7:30 on office days (goal is eventually to wake up at 7, which will give me plenty of extra time during the winter when traffic is shitty) and 8 instead of as close to 9 as I can get on WFH days. don't need to get out of bed at 8, just be awake, bc stumbling to the computer bleary-eyed is a horrible way to start the day, shockingly. also start going to bed by 12 on WFH/weekend nights.
go on an Unnecessary/Impulse Spending Ban, with a few caveats: i can spend money on ✨ experiences✨ like tickets to a show or park or whatever, i can buy ✨fancy✨ food from the farmers market or cocktail supplies as long as I have a recipe planned for it, I can treat myself to lunch/coffee on Fridays (that's my motivation to go for a walk lol) and my Thursday Final Office Day PSL Treat, I can buy gifts/make donations, annnnd I can buy up to 3 "hobby items" per month, ie. a book, DVD, puzzle/miniature kit, wool, etc. but ONLY 3 items, not 3 trips to the store *glares at my inner child*. If I REALLY REALLY want an Unnecessary Item I need to come up with a good, real reason why I need it, and none of them can be "because I want it" or "I'm sad and need a pick-me-up." or "I need to kill time so I'll go into the bookstore whoops now I have an armful of new releases!"
start meal planning for once in my life. I've never really done it, aside from that time a couple years ago when I was making 1 recipe a week to replace my takeout habit lol. I need to reduce my grocery bill and food waste though so if I have a list of staples I always keep in stock and then plan what recipes I want to make on what days it'll be easier to only buy what I need. currently I just like, write "veg x3" on my grocery list and then buy 5 random vegetables bc I have no plan and think I need more, and eat maybe half of them.....
in addition to that: make a list of recipes I want to make this fall/winter (both old favourites and new ones) and plan to make one special cooking and one baking thing per week, in addition to a simpler recipe Tuesday night so I can eat leftovers Weds/Thurs and something I can freeze for lunches. currently trying to map out a schedule for this since sadly I think I am a Schedule Girlie and if I don't have one I simply Won't do the thing. Also while my freezer is not very big, I think I can make/freeze 2-3 weeks of lunches (about 9 tupperwares) so I might start doing what my aunt does and batch-cooking those instead of scrambling to make lunch every week
annnnd also to reduce my grocery bill, stop buying random vitamin water/iced tea/sparkling water/whatever. the silly little drink culture in this household is getting out of control and the cost is adding up even if I do buy sale stuff. Instead I'm gonna try and make more coffee/hot chocolate/tea....and drink more water. I am badly dehydrated. The one caveat is alcohol, since I don't buy a whole lot of it and it's a weekend treat rather than a daily indulgence. Also my Princess Bride cookbook has a bunch of cocktail recipes I want to try so I'm going to make some of those for fun.
another food based one, but I want to also stop buying so much junk food, particularly chips, and try making my own snacks/desserts more often. Basically my Silly Little Treats recently have been junk food-based and it's starting to just become a habit and not a treat I'm actually excited about, so it's time to try something new (and healthier bc hooo boy between the all the butter pasta, sweet drinks, and chips, I'm going to die of heart disease at 35)
on that note: try and develop an exercise habit. much like my writing one, my goal is 5 days a week, and I can take up to 2 days off but not in a row. any exercise is good (walk, exercise bike, yoga, whatever) right now, but I'm hoping to refine my goals in the future when I find what makes me feel the best. I would like to start forcing myself to go for a walk on at least one office day as long as the weather is good. maybe I'll do that Thursday at lunch and then I can buy my Reward PSL.....
actually *finish* a craft before starting a new one, especially when it comes to knitting. visiting my grandma reminded me that knitting and crochet can be super basic and still rewarding! she's knitted a whole garbage bag of baby hats/blankets/swaddlers, toques, and scarves to donate to charity (baby stuff to the hospital and the rest to a shelter) and like. yeah it's all basic with no fancy patterns or colorwork or whatever but it's *done*. i need to step back with that hobby and just focus on finishing things while learning the basics instead of lusting after everyone's gorgeous sweaters lol.
not really a goal but a change: going to try alternating 1 new book/series with 1 reread going forward, so I stop feeling FOMO for whatever I'm not reading at the moment lol
Lock the amount of time I'm allowed to use my social apps/news app at 3 hours (which I think I can do with the StayFree app). that should be plenty of time to keep up with things and prevent me from doing what I'm doing now which is spending almost a full hour blathering.
Anyway, yeah. Trying to use the delicious fall season as a springboard into better eating habits, spend less specifically on impulse buys I'm making bc I'm bored/depressed/anxious, and continue to do more hobbies and Self Care better.
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