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☀️ IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!! 🌙
This is my gift to myself :) I drew my favorite guys ever.
For a while I've been itching to draw the wedding outfits from this post again. I made them up on the fly as I was drawing, but I actually really like how they ended up turning out. They're super cute!! (though, yet again, you can't see almost any part of Dedede's outfit... 💔)
But then I couldn't get it out of my head to make a companion piece for it, with their mirror versions. And so. I did. What they have going on is a little bit messy, though...
Marriage or divorce!! Take your pick.
#kirby#kirby series#meta knight#king dedede#metadede#dark meta knight#shadow dedede#mirror metadede#i do like mirror mtdd. like a lot. but poor planning ahead with hcs and ocs caused them to end up. kind of doomed in my thing lol#maybe i'll go in depth about it one day. as much as i can anyway. i haven't fully figured it out myself#my art#couple details:#mk's tooth gaps are probably one of my favorite parts of his drawing. they're just so cute i'm so glad i knocked his teeth out#while mtdd is on Non Descript Happy Place mirror mtdd is specifically in the dimension mirror level from katam and ktd#just slightly. sparklier and shinier. because that's just how i do things. and without the buildings#i did try to add them but it made everything busier than it already was#mirror mtdd's faces are obscured on purpose but if you look closely you can catch a peek of dmk's expression through his veil#which! it's meant to be kind of like a widow's veil.. symbolism and what not#i couldn't think of what the opposite of a star was so i did hearts (for the plating. cheeks. and pauldrons)#i fucked up the rings.. because i got my lefts and rights confused..#but i kept it Anyway because it looked cool. i'm sorry though it's so annoying once you notice#i still have the flats and a better look at ddd's outfit (and a Little of sddd's face)#so maybe i'll post that later#i think that's about it#i'm 20 today :) sigh. the passage of time#god the way this has been crunched sickens me. don't look closer actually
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SKILL UNLOCKED, KNITTING ABILITY LEVELED UP
So I've been knitting a fair bit as of late, all sorts of shenanigans and funky little things and a thousand fancy plans. Only some stuff finished thus far, but a fair bit of learning new building blocks going on.
And in a fit of pique while trying to get some ridiculously tiny dense pointy picots out of a purlwise cable cast on base, being mad that my normal purling (wrapping the yarn counter-clockwise) made the yarn have to cross SO FAR to get back up to the needle, I just...crossed the yarn up clockwise instead, and it was so much better. Distracted from the picot situation by how well it worked, I wondered why it's not the norm, did a quick search, and...
Found I had accidentally stumbled upon combination knitting? Which (for flat stockinette and the like) involves purling clockwise, and then knitting through the back loop to untwist those stitches. And it has FIXED my purl tension! The left side of my flat stockinette no longer gains a giant, sad loop! (Hell, I think that selvedge might even be neater than the right side now.) And I still don't necessarily like knitting ribbing, or how it looks vs. other, funkier options. But a quick test of normal vs. combination ribs side-by-side? Hot damn, that combo rib looks GOOD.
...Now, to get back to seeing if I can wrangle those picots to do what I want, without resorting to smaller needles...
#knitting#combination knitting#I already often swap out increases/decreases for different ones I like better#what's a little extra purl (and inc/dec) funk to deal with#this happy accident on top of all the lovely tips and tricks and techniques I've learned from sites like nimble-needles#I'd also recently researched things like stacked increases/decreases (which have fun 3d potential)#and scalloped edges/making wide horizontal holes without CO/BO#and came up with an idea for a half-flat i-cord by purling the first stitch#which I plan to use to design a tiny snake pattern#(the nimble-needles alternate curly i-cord by slipping a stitch here and there is still a favorite)#(as is m1bl central double increase)#(and centered double decrease my beloved)#(and lifted increases my other beloved)#...anyway I'm learning lots of knitting things#and designing stuff in over-engineered ways#but unwittingly tripping into combination knitting has been INSTANT GOLD#...though I prefer knitting in the round/seamless whenever I can#so we'll see how often I get to use it#I might post pics of some things I've made soon-ish?#but so much is still in the design phase so it may be a bit
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Just curious what the average level of personal investment in these sorts of things is. Like, how much do people usually get into silly stuff like this their friends ask of them? etc. etc. Which I know, only surveying a small sample on a very specific website means I'm not getting an exact average idea lol, but.. curious nonetheless .. Maybe reblog for bigger sample size but also this is not very serious at all/not worth a call to action gbhjbhjb
#which I know this could be context dependent like.. maybe you'd normally dress up but on a week that#you feel sick you wouldn't or etc. etc. - but I mean.. GENERALLY. in the most general average scenario#where you have the average amount of health and free time that you always do. etc. just based on your personality#and level of investment in these things - what on AVERAGE are you most inclined to do#also of course assume they communicate with you ahead of time and are not like planning a part last minute#like 'throw together costume in 5 hours and show up tonight randomly' or etc. I would hope that if we're going with the#AVERAGE of things - most people's friends have better communication skills than springing entire parties#on people last minute lol#assume you have like.. a few days-a week or so to prepare. however ealrly people usually start talking about#birthdays. In my experience it's usually one or two weeks ahead of time. Like 'oh next weekend' or 'oh two weeks from now' etc.#ANYWAY.. feeling a little Sick again of course but still trying to get some photos or something posted#AGAIN i promise I am not going to exlcusively post polls and ntohing else forever hgkjgnekj#I just really really love the ability to post polls and have always my whole life been obsessed with surveying people#I used to think I wanted to do that as a career somehow like.. be one of the people that does psychological interviews#or produce interview asessments for a company or etc. etc. I am always the one friend in the group thats giving out custom made#surveys or asking for other simialr stuff (did you ever take an mbti quiz? how about enneagra#m?? oh yeah I know they're not really scientifically valid or antyhing but like... DID you take them?? huh?? did you??please?? ghjj)#I simply cannot resist.. posting a little poll every once in a while.. as a treat#whilst I still fall behind on like actual content and costumes and stuff gbjhbjh#New poll adventure should be not as much of a wait as the last one was though since I already have the writing#for it really. I just have to do the ms paint sketch. hopefully no unexpected other health issues will get in the way#*** *** ***#< (anytime I do these three star patterns it is an ocd compulsion not me bleeping out words or something just ignore it lol)#(it means something secret in my evil brain just pretend you do not see it. significant only to me)#BUT YEAH.. ... poll... what type of costume party atendee are you?#:0c
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Give me Nicky creating a video full of blurry photos and awkward 2000s transitions for Neil's bday (not the actual one, the 31st of March one) with the "Bitch" song by meredith Brooks.
Lyrics come up, "I'm a bitch" and it's a still of Neil roasting on press duty
"Im a lover" Neil stealing a glance at Andrew, a small smile on his face
"Im a child" photo taken from high angle of Neil looking up at the camera, indignation all over his face, a granola bar in his mouth
"Im a mother" Neil pointing at Kevin chewing him out while Kev is saying sth arms crossed on his chest (or better yet, Kevin and Jean walking to opposite directions but there's a leash around their chest that Neil is holding)
"Im a sinner" shot of Neil eating pinneaple on Pizza and Matt and Dan looking horrified and disgusted on the background
"Im a saint" meme of the cat with the dozen knifes at its throat but on the face of the cat is a poorly cropped picture of Neil raising his eyebrow
#aftg#all for the game#neil josten#i just think hes neat#nicky hemmick#kevin day#andrew minyard#dan wilds#matt boyd#the foxes#also i think Nicky would have been so proud to have accumulated all the videos and photos he could get his hands on#purely because Neil hates taking pictures#and Nicky as a true gemini would have held on to them trying his best not to let it spill what hes preparing as a bday gift#when they watch the video Allison is howling from laughter#Matt and Renee are trying their best not to show their tears from laughing#Dan is taking a video of Neils reaction for safe keeping#Kevin is like why am i ugly in most if not all of these and Nicky respons with this aint your moment Queen Day stfu#also Nicky has added very hot pics of himself at the start and at the end of the video just fornit to be clear who made this#Neil doesnt laugh at all but chokes when theres a random pic at the end of Aaron edited in the among us interface#and theres the word impostor above his head#andrew is already planning to get nicky to send him the video even though he doesnt react at all during it#tsc#jean moreau
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Blehhh
#so like#physical therapy and medical stuff has been cutting into my sleep for three weeks now#and yesterday we were up to like noon thirty cuz we had to talk to a lawyer#and a few days ago we asked her what the turkey day plans are#and she said dinner at 1pm. fucking one in the afternoon.#we've identified 1-3pm to her as the hardest times for us make cuz it's basically the middle of when we are sleeping#normally we try for ~9:30 am to be in bed or getting in#and up around 5 or 6#and it's just#i know she's not doing it to single me out she's just an insane woman when it comes to her schedule#but it would have been nice if she ever made any effort to try make sure we could be included -_-#cuz this was an issue last few thanksgivings too#so she KNOWS about it#she can't not know about it#and idk#one of my sister's always got judgy about it cuz ~she works 60+ hours a week~#and i didn't show up on time to help cook cuz i needed a nap after work#and i KNOW she's gonna be a bitch about is not being at the gathering#though i don't think she'll contact me about it#and like#i would love to go honestly!#that's the kicker!#if it was at 4pm it something I'd absolutely go!#my sister's just moved so i won't get to see them often and i would like to visit with them#not to mention we could use a good free meal >.>#but like#fuck dude#we're already exhausted and we're kinda sick of having to meet my mom at a place that's unreasonable for us#so i guess it's Thanksgiving alone at my place of a bowl of chili with cheese and some potato salad#means we get stream at least
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IM FREEEEEE
#(FROM PROJECTS)#personal#the engineering chronicles#WILL HOPEFULLY NEVER NEED TO SLEEP THREE NIGHTS ON THE FLOOR OF THE ENGINEERING BUILDING AGAIN!!!#one class the final project was to build a karaoke machine which my partner and i had planned on making look like actual speakers and#microphone but we couldn’t find the stuff in time and her mom made a joke abt singing into hairbrushes and we decided to take that and#run lol we used a pink sparkly makeup box to store our circuit and cut out holes for the speakers and decorated it with makeup and put the#hairbrush mics inside and it was very fun actually and our class voted us as one of the groups to go to project day which was pretty cool!!#project day did get canceled bc of. asnow day which was unfortunate especially considering we stayed up until 4am the night before#preparing our documents for it and trying to perfect the karaoke machine when we could have been putting that time toward project number#2 😐 but whatever we still get our extra credit and i can say i qualified for it so im happy enough#then project 2 was for another class but we’re lab partners in both (+ another guy for this project) and it was digital monster pet so we#made a dragon i was mostly on design so i hand CADed the whole thing which was living hell if i never want to lay eyes on solidworks#again but also he came out very cute after MUCH hasle putting him together with all the wires and components bc our wires from the kit are#so bad they’re constantly getting disconnected from each other which we didn’t know would happen bc the labs we usually do we don’t have to#connect them together like that since you’re not routing them thru bodies etc and they’ve worked great until now but anywya.#i did the lcd faces and the light sensor and a couple other things + a lot of the code was copy and paste from past labs and fitting it to#suit the project but for the most part it was a shit ton of hardware on my end while she and the other guy managed the rest of the code#which i really wish i could have been more involved with but oh well. as it is though he’s my baby i birthed him <3 we’re planning on#meeting up over weekends next semester to change some stuff and add other extra features that we missed we got a decent grade 85% but we#all agreed we don’t want to leave him like this we want to add the extra features we had come up with and also i think we should switch out#our motors for servos bc the motors we were required to use#instead suck they’re not strong at all compared to what a servo can do for you. also we want to make it so you can not only pet him which w#already have with light sensors but also wash him with a Hall effect sensor and magnet so like we’d stick the sensor inside and the magnet#inside a little cad brush or sponge is what im envisioning and i have an expression in mind for what we’d do then. also paint him and#redesign the platform he stands on bc it’s rlly cramped and also make a pcb bc we only have him with the microcontroller and breadboards rn#and i might mess with his face piece a bit too im not sure. oh and speakers!!! those were technically a requirement but we didn’t get them#done on time but i want to make him play music sooooo bad so definitely that. anyway want to be more involved in the software when we do#all this. pretty excited actually :]
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I don't hate my job or anything, but man, being a float educator is so fucking thankless
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Good evening gamers!!! Seems like I missed promo hour which is a shame😔 I shall try to partake in it next time!
#pan rambles#honestly today has been a rollercoaster-afknsdksn#The morning was pretty good and I felt pretty productive!#and then the afternoon rolled around and I was Not Vibing and got extremely sad and anxious for no reason other than my brain being mean </3#luckily though I managed to pick myself up a few hours ago and I'm feeling better now#not perfect- but better#on a happier note!!! I finished F.inal F.antasy 12 a while back!#I plan to start the Y.akuza series next!! I'm very excited!#Alas I'll probably not be immune to f/oing someone from that series#but I'm walking in pretty blind so idk who that would be just yet#Some pals have already made guesses so place your bets everyone! fjsnfksndks
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au where ed agrees to teach greed how to bond his soul to a suit of armor and 2 weeks later greed rekidnaps al and is like "hi its me again. i may have made a mistake. do you know how to not be armor anymore."
#greed fma#fullmetal alchemist#fma#al just like uh huh who could have told you that being armor is bad actually#greed in his 'learning that he should think things through' era#seriously though did he put any thought into this plan. any thought at all?#do you think his friends would have let him go through with it#or would they have been like 'oh sorry boss none of us are good enough at alchemy. guess you need to not do this stupid plan'#do you think he just frequently got stupid ideas of 'things ive decided i want this week'#and made them all go along with elaborate plans to try to accomplish them#greed already didnt like his shield bc he didnt like the aesthetic or something#my man do you really think you would have enjoyed being Armor#fluffle talks
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Dont be angry, Finnula said. Be smart.
#Chapter 23#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Elide Lochan#Finnula#no spoilers pls first read along w me chapter spoilers in post & tags below w more annotations/quotes/notes/reacts/perspective 3 of 4#The City of Rivers… can Aelin get a City of Fire? cuz that would be cool & Elide already said “fear was another companion it can’t be worse#IT WAS LORCANS SHIRT😭 & he cared so much he lied so she’d use it from Gavriel/Rowan😭 OH ELORCAN😭😭😭#Yet this place seemed like a paradise. WHATS REAL? is it a Maeve illusion… but it sounds lovely; like Rowan could just fly around😭#Pink and blue flowers draped from windowsills; little canals wended between some of the streets ferrying people in bright long boats.#And though a good dose of fear would aid in her cover too much would spell her doom. -smart clever spy gal Annabeth Chase would be proud#And this city Rowan had told Elide had been built from stone to keep Brannon or any of his descendants from razing it to the ground.#when u know ur evil cuz you had to build in a backup plan for the day Brannons peeps eventually come to shut that shit down… my poor Aelin#Elide fought the limp that grew with each step farther into the city--farther away from Gavriel's magic… or Lorcan’s👀😭🖤🤨#okay Elide I see your mirror mirror Aos moves with the berry listen and compact trick she can do it with a broken heart#cycle. She hadn't been able to find the words anyway. Not with what it would crumple in her chest to even think them. WELL NOW IM CRUMPLED#As if she'd been weeping for weeks… yeah that fits the KoA vibes#But it wasn't the reflection she wanted to see. But rather the square behind her. — BRILLIANT QUEEN — lol thx Lorcan for having a mirror#if only anything could be a witch mirror then they could all cell chat and communicate cause the travel time in this one is rough#she was merely staring into a compact mirror no more than a self-conscious girl trying to fix her frazzled appearance — she is the best spy#A girl trying to muster some dignity. Let them see what they wanted to see-A girl far out of her element in this lovely well-dressed city#cornflower blue ALWAYS THESE SHADES#her golden-brown skin shone with an inner light. Her eyes were soft with kindness. And concern.#had always made them foolishly off guard and eager to get away. To tell her what she needed to know. — funny 2 watch Elide do this after HoF#The sort of voice Elide had always imagined great beauties possessing the sort of voice that made men fall all over themselves.#Cairn. One of the males swore; the other scanned Elide from head to toe. But the two females had gone still. — agreed he’s the worst#the portrait of hope—yeah child’s right cause no—Elide always naming people—If you escaped Cairn don't go looking for him again.—true#Cairn is blood-sworn to our queen. Still makes him a prick TRUTH — doesn’t need to be a far to catch the lie — WHERE IS SHE DAMNIT#She was about to do it again wheen… The dark-haired beauty from the tavern was standing behind her. — SHIT#Maeve was not in Doranelle. How long would that remain true? Had to make the next performance count. — how many had she done this already?🥹😭
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#holidays have not been what i hoped for so far 😔😔#well the first week was good but then i got sick 😭#and it's been so awful#having a cough is literally the worst i couldn't sleep it was so bad#and i couldn't even enjoy doing anything really because you can't properly focus on the thing bc ur coughing non stop#i hate it sm#and today it was gone all day only that now it is back altough not as bad as before but still#it always gets worse in the evening#like help i just want this to end#what made it even worse i had real plans to study and now i barely got anything done 😭😭#and now i'm scared for exams bc i couldn't follow the plan altough i still have more than 2 and 3 weeks left#in my mind i already think i'm gonna do badly bc i need to study more i'm afraid#and i'm also upset at myself even though it's not my fault i got sick but i keep thinking i still could have done more ughh#to make it even worse i coudn't play tennis for a whole week and i was so looking forward to playing everyday (and improving) 😢😢#i couldn't do any sports or see anyone i miss it sm#i hope at least in the new year i can do stuff again 🥺#it was just the worst cold/flu and idk why whenever i get it it's that extreme 😵💫#or idk is it normal that you can't sleep bc of it ... i just don't wanna get sick again ever lmao it's the worst#i guess christmas was still nice it wasn't that bad then and it was a lovely day with my family :)#and our tree was really pretty this year and i'm really happy with my gifts and also those i gifted 🥰#the week before was good i did play lots of tennis and i went on a christmas market with uni friend and to vienna for a trip with my mom ^^#but maybe it was too much sometimes i wonder if i do something wrong or if it is just bad luck like i did train a lot#and i played a tennis match for my club and won against a higher ranked opponent so yay 😁#and i played really well i feel like i once again really improved my level :)) but i did play kinda sick already so maybe that was rly bad😅#maybe i should stop doing that 😅 but i didn't know it's gonna get this bad i just had the worst headache and sore throat#well ig i should have known but i also always feel like i have to play and i love matches and like my team needs me?#who else would have won that? i'm one of the best at my team and the others who are rly good weren't there that day so i felt responsible 😅#honestly my mom possibly she is also quite good but it would have been close and i wasn't sure so i played 😅#but i have done this too often by now... playing sick i really can't help myself 🤦♀️
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I gravitate towards jobs and such in which I make decisions, and prefer to live alone which comes with many decisions, and then do creative hobbies that require me to make so many decisions, and I thought "Huh, decisions are hard, what would a nice day without decisions look like?" And then I realized I just meticulously planned out a whole day of no decisions by just making the decisions beforehand.
#im so tired of decisions#rn im pretty new at my job so not too many decisions but still aome stuff i have to do independently#but my last job was so many decisions. i coordinated so much and if i did it wrong evryone hated me#and before that i was a shift lead#and for the last four years at summer camp ive been an area director#and this year i applied for an office position which is even hugher than area director#and im trying to move out of my parents house which comes with so many decisions#why do i keep doing this to myself#i like leadership and independence too fucking much and then im burnt out on it#and i would love just one day in which i didnt have to make any decisions#unfortunately i know myself and i know that someone else would not make the right decisions#so i want to make the decisions beforehand#and then someone else just executes the decisions for me. if that makes sense#like i want to tell someone 'tomorrow we will wake up at 9am and go get coffee. i want aan iced mocha#after that we'll go to target and get a quick lunch at qdoba. one hour after lunch i would like an iced caramel coffee#i would like to drink this coffee while we go on a walk along the lake#then id like to go home and knit for two hours. you may do something in the same space but it has to be quiet and non-distracting#then we will have such a late dinner. pizza unless you are willing to cook one of the three things i am always okay with#then i will peruse my phone until midnight. then i will sleep#i want to lay that all out for someone snd then they facilitate it#like they just know 'okay its 9am get up we're going for coffee.' 'alright its midnight put down your phone for sleeps'#all damn day they just do the decisions for me. even though i already made them so i know they were made right#idk if that makes sense. im just so tired#i was laying in bed before sleeping and decided to plan my perfect day of no decisions#and realized that it was not decision-free because i had just made every decision#did i mention how tired i am
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In my "Finding Cute, Funny & Weird Old Photos of Him" Era 😅🤷♀️🌟💯🔥💞
#Now I know what you're thinking: 'Shouldn't she have already been through this era by now?!'#Probably; yeah!!#But I dunno...I just never thought to look for strange/unusual/weird/odd/memeable photos of Tom!!!#And it's not like I didn't know that he's actually a big weirdo!! I knew all along because OF COURSE I DID; how could I not?!#A part of me not looking more into his old photos until now is because of my obsession with his love for Rob Gronkowski#So I was all caught up in finding all of those photos that I neglected to look up iconic weird photos of Tom just being Tom#Tom taking notice of my comment on his YouTube video made me think more about these photos which is why I'm here on this topic now#And yes!! I am still planning to share with all of you what I said in that comment!!!#It's gonna be bit of a long post though becuase you already know that I have some additional commentary to make about it!! <3#Anyway...!!#Tom Brady#TB12#babe#love
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several days and 15 thousand words later, i am relieved to report that the suffocating urge to Write Something has been sated and no longer has me in a chokehold
#Seven.txt#writing stuff#thinking of that post that’s like ‘u Have To make art or all the ideas stay stuck in ur brain and make u sick’ bc yeah thats been the vibe#wish i wasn’t so all or nothing about it tho. but alas. i’m that way with everything in my life#i either expect 10k in a day from myself or i don’t write at all for weeks. or months :)#and my average pace is about 500 words per hour. so u can see. how that might be a problem. given how many hours are in a day.#and that’s obviously not sustainable. but idk if it’s adhd or what but it’s So hard to quickly start and stop tasks just Whenever#i struggle to be one of those ppl that can consistently write like. 500 words a day every day and then wow! soon you have a whole novel#nah. once i get myself in the Zone then i’m Goin’ and i can’t stop until i’m Done or i collapse from ignoring my body’s needs lmao#it’s something i should make an effort to do though bc i’d love to be consistently chipping away at things instead of working in bursts#anyways this is a lotta negative self-commentary for what is actually a Positive post! bc yay!! i wrote a thing!! Two things actually!!! 🎉#i got the follow-up to last year’s Matt oneshot done And i wrote the next chapter of Heaven in Hiding after uh. a year and some months#i wanted to blow the dust off the ol’ keyboard by starting with writing some less. uh. high-stakes(?) stuff#not that i didn’t put my all into writing them. i always do. just that ik they’ll have less of an audience so ill cringe less if they suck#so then i can hopefully do justice to the [N]MbD stuff that i’ll be putting out next! ehehe *rubbing my hands together* Finally#the next two [N]MbD fics r already written but the first little one needs a final edit#and then the Big one for. uh. someone (u kno who u r) needs a bit of rewriting i think. i wanna make it Better#so release schedule will be 1. Matt • 2. HiH Ch.3 • 3. [N]MbD small fic • 4. [N]MbD Big fic#then i’m gonna write a lil Boothill comfort oneshot. then i’ll edit/maybe rewrite and post that Dew (Ghost) OCD comfort oneshot#i also wanna keep writing the last couple chapters of HiH before i unintentionally abandon it again#and after/amidst all that maybe i’ll manage to get ES Ch.6 written and posted before the end of the year 😭#anyways ik i’ve made posts like this before. talking abt all these Plans of mine. and most of those things r Still stuck in the pipeline#so don’t put too much stock into this plan. i could have another Bad couple of months and get None of it done#but god i sure fucking hope not. i’d really like to cling to my creativity. if for no other reason than that it makes me happy
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👉🏽👈🏽
#I’m kinda nervous about our trip to universal now#I already knew it was going to be a lot of walking and that I’m going to be incredibly exhausting but hearing my best friend say it made me#a lot more nervous#the trip is for her cousin and I know she wants me there but I’m going to slow them down by a lot 🥹#they could get sooooo much done and a lot faster 🥺 I feel like I’m going to get so tired so quick because I AM fat and unhealthy and#she’s going to prioritize me and her cousin’s not going to have a good time#🥹 and then i mentioned that this summer I plan on walking laps around our city’s biggest park and they laughed#they as in my best friend and another friend and no not in a mean way no she wouldn’t ever#more of haha yep gotta prepare#but it still hurt a little because yeah#I do have to prepare#I need to get my body used to walking for long periods of time and I wanna lose a little big of my stomach so I don’t have to do the walk of#shame from the rides. the friend already said one of them isn’t for big girls 😭😭 I’m still gonna try it but I’ll need to be prepared to be#rejected#anyways im 🥹 sometimes I really wish I wasn’t me that I could have been born with a more socially acceptable body#I can’t even feel that way comfortably though because I am the way I am by my own fault#melifails
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#my brother is one of the best people ever#he's funny and creative and smart and sensitive and thoughtful and generous#and I love him so FRICKIN much#and people being mean to him makes me want to PUNCH THINGS#the frickin bus monitor for the bus he drives made him cry yesterday#she's such a MISERABLE HUSK of a woman#and I hate how she treats him#and I know he's capable of a lot more than I sometimes think#I know he's a grown adult and he can handle himself#but GAH this fricking WOMAN#he tried to do the right thing he tried to be a mature responsible person and talk to her directly but she was just MEAN#I'm just glad that he didn't get to say everything he'd been planning to (even though he was upset about that)#bc he'd been planning to tell her that he's autistic#I guess to try and help her understand where he's coming from#(also related to the fact that he drives a special needs bus and one time a few weeks ago she screamed at one of the kids)#(which obviously made my brother uncomfortable)#(but he was scared to say anything bc he said 'if she has no problem yelling at an autistic 5-year-old#she'd probably have no problem yelling at an autistic adult')#but yeah I can't see her being respectful about it if she knew he's on the spectrum#would probably try to use it against him since she's already been complaining about him to their boss#(which is why my brother finally tried talking to her yesterday)#(bc he's acting like an ADULT and trying to discuss with her directly instead of going behind her back like she's doing)#and gaaaaahhh I just HATE this for him#can't vent about this on the discord since we're both in there and I don't want him to know just how upset I am about this#I know he worries sometimes about burdening people#but he's just so GOOD and wonderful and I HATE that there are people who don't see that#I hate it I hate it I hate it#this fricking woman#personal
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