#though i kinda doubt logan's been babysitting too well | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

spacegaywritings · 4 years ago

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Hello, we are the Neighbours - 1/2

Heated Afternoons

Summary: Virgil and Remy have been close for years. Remy is rather shy with new people but supposed to introduce himself to the new neighbours - of course Virgil is around to help his friend! Turns out, the boring old neighbours have a hot adolescent and fae are pretty hot. Virgil uses she/her and he/him. Remy uses he/him. Emile uses they/fae.

tags: a LOT of swearwords, edginess, Teenagers scare the living shit out of me, weapon mention, hints at violence, slight creep factor, being salty at authority, lovingly insulting one another, food, piercings, kisses, bold moves, innuendo, visual puns, cigarettes (no smoking!), edibles, mentions of getting high, marijuana (implied), saying mean things about your mom but not really meaning it bc social anxiety ah Tumblr: next // ao3: all / 1 / 2 . // masterlist . My KoFi - Support me ♥ or Commission me Story under the cut:

“I can’t believe she is doing that. This little bitch. I swear to fucking everything unholy, I will move out the second this stupid university accepts me.”

Virgil glanced at his friend, the long man fidgeting wildly as he fumbled with his house keys.

“You got them or not?”

The addressed adult shot him an angry glare.

“Of fucking course I do! Do you take me for an idiot, too?”

The smaller one shrugged, his black and blue beanie moving a bit as if to shake itself in denial at the mean sound.

“Do I look like I care that you are a crazy dog? I kinda stopped at some point, if you did not notice it before. Just for clarification, Riri.”

Virgil flicked the rainbow button on his beanie heartlessly.

“Can we go before your mom comes back and makes us bring these shitty biscuits, too? “

Remy snorted in offence and pushed the little box with his elbow, not even sparing it a glance.

“What-fucking-ever. Let us just go. Can’t take this shit with these two treating me like I am five. I am literally done with school and just waiting for an acceptance letter, I am even working and saving up and they still treat men like I am some fucking toddler who cannot even walk straight!”

His friend rolled his eyes and pushed himself off the counter.

“Yo, I am willing to babysit you, stop acting like that. I am allowed to baby you!”

He heard a hissing sound when Remy sucked an annoyed breath through his teeth. His rainbow knee socks contrasted greatly with his sour mood. His whole outfit was about the opposite of everything people would expect from him. Except for his black combat boots. Those looked exactly like his knife-stabbing mood towards the whole world (well, safe for his friend Virgil. She would be safe for now.)

The young adult looked like the embodiment of sunshine and rainbows with the bright pair of knee socks hugging up his strong legs. His plain black skirt was lacy and lazy in the way it fell over his thighs. Askew, like the neon pink bow in his shoulder-long hazel hair. A white shirt saying “Sleep” in holographic block letters completed the odd look he offered. It was so huge, it was wearing Remy more than he wore it.

Virgil shrugged, her unicorn/bunny onesie (“Virgil, this shit literally has a fucking tail like some of Bambi’s followers, not like a proud, rainbow-shitting creature to break laws and eat tears with supernatural ‘fuck you’ magic!” - “Shut up, maybe it was declared a unicorn because maybe this is what it feels like you intolerant moron”) called “Philly” largely encompassing her frame. It was white and pink - the little tail was as rainbow as the rest of his heart and mind.

..Even if nobody could see that.

“You will get the biscuits if you are fast enough with me. Get your ass going!”

Remy pocketed his keys at last and stuck his pink tongue out at his friend.

“You were literally the one to keep dragging this whole thing out”, Virgil reminded him patiently, her hand digging into the soft pockets of whatever synthetic cheap-ass shit her comfortable dream suit was made of.

“You know, you got me and I look nice but I will fuck up a dude if he fucks with my little baby.”

Something about her voice seemed to drop into a level of threat. Something... just something in his voice was so morbidly dark, it gave Remy chills for just a moment.

He muttered, walking to the door.

“I will not take you to the ice rink anymore if you flash a fucking knife, you silly bunnycorn.”

Virgil followed, by now two unwrapped lollipops in hand. He stretched one into her friend’s direction, barely nudging his lips. It was coke and almost as dark as Remy’s raven, makeup on his mouth.

“Bunnycorn sounds debatable. You may use it and I will refrain from stabbing you. Also, you know I dropped my butterfly into the fucking gutter. I will never get it out. Can’t exactly tell the cops I found an illegal weapon in there but want it out and in my possession. Too suspicious. They will get me locked up or some shit. I am not 13 anymore and they will fuck me up.”

She shrugged.

“Whatever. Eat the pop, bro”, he encouraged as she slipped the sweet ball on a stick into his mouth. The unicorn ripped the door open and swung it to the side so violently, the hinges cried and her body leaned in to follow the force her hand needed to contain.

“Ooops, you are an eager piece of shit”

Virgil shrugged and jumped down the little set of stone stairs. It was like these blocks of cobble stone. They were uneven and ugly. Truly hideous and useless.

A ramp would have been so much better, especially considering those were the flattest two steps of shit he had ever seen in his life. At least then Remy’s family would be able to get Remus in without carrying his stupid wheelchair - or needing to buy a fucking lift or whatever they usually did. Stairs sucked anyway. This house was on the fucking ground, not in the sky.

“I fucking hate your parents sometimes, not gonna lie, dude.”

Remy shrugged at that.

“Feel that every day, pal.”

His friend smiled patiently as he closed and locked the door behind him, careful not to break it further. The door was okay but Virgil*s consistently energetic treatment was not.

“Okay, whatever. Let us get to those neighbours. I am ready for the real shit going down!”

Virgil hopped on her bare feet, the jingles on her earring dancing and chanting happily.

Suddenly, she stooped and flinched, her hands immediately flying to undo her buttons.

“Yo- Yo what are you doing? Stop ch- WH - WHAt the FUCK ?!”

The small social reject nudged the other and pointed her wet lollipop at him. There was judgement in his determined eyes.

“If you wanna introduce yourself to the neighbours, you gotta establish dominance. We are gonna out-weird these boomers! This is the perfect strategy to make sure they are gonna leave ya and your dummy thicc brother alone.”

The unicorn happily danced.... or just prepared for a violent attack at something.. someone. She was charging her energy. The ketchup paint on her pink undershirt assembled to say “Tell Jesus to suck harder”. It was framing the upper and lower parts of the shirt, perfectly framing the upside-down paragraph on it.

“We are going. I want my stupid biscuits because your mom does not use raisins. She used fucking sprinkles and chocolate. This is my fucking aesthetic.”

A shrug accompanied the statement.

“Who likes raising biscuits anyway, I mean - really? Those are sad ones and if you don’t have any better, you take it but we are all striving for higher things in life.”

Remy rolled his eyes but softly approached his friend. There was something vulnerable in his step when he offhandedly looked at Virgil, no scowl or complaints hiding away the feelings in his face.

A little bit of pain seemed to paint his features, exceeding the simple level of discomfort. He stretched his arms out for a hug.

His trusty idiot of a friend immediately pulled him in, her arms wrapping around his middle. A sigh tickled his neck.

“I will fight your feelings”, he mumbled.

The taller one shook his head before shrugging.

“Just stay...”

The sentence broke off.

Maybe it was just Virgil but these two words were just a part of so much more he could and should have said.

Instead, the tall dude stretched his shoulders enough to tug his arms away from Virgil’s strong hug. It was nearly suffocating but not him, his bad feelings.

Virgil had the most grounding hugs Remy had ever felt. This could be all due to the bunny costume he was wearing but this was not the first time Remy got her embraces and suddenly felt wiped clean of all the bad feelings.

A small smile dared to fly the corners of his lips upwards.

“If she bitches around, we will dip. I will doubt it, though. She’s gonna be busy with Remus because fawning over him will never get tired.”

He shrugged. It was quick and unconvincing.

After the shrug, his shoulders still seemed pulled down enough to be identified as “burdened”.

Virgil noted it with an eyebrow raise. She was too wrapped up around the lollipop to turn this matter into a long and wild evaluation of this family and all its issues.

They were better off than his stupid shit relatives anyway.

“Hey, hottie, did I tell you about Logan?”, he asked instead. Something in Remy seemed to drop and he brushed against Virgil’s side as he took one of her hands and squeezed it.

“No, tell me while we walk. What about Logan? Who is this even?”

Remy was tame when grounded. He was so tame and nice when you were nice.

The man was calm when you showed him it was okay to be calm and right to be composed without imposing it as standard he had to follow.

“Okay, listen!”, Virgil started, his naked feet jumping into motion and leading them on to their destination just a few houses down, “so, my sib came out, right? And..”

She made a wet sound, a squelching could be heard as she pulled the lollipop out for a moment. Remy was so close, he swore he could hear the tiny gremlin swallow. He chuckled and leaned his head against hers for a bit.

It was more symbolic than practical and he immediately retreated after Virgil pressed her head’s side against his.

“And they were looking for a name. Just a few minutes before I got my ass over to yours, they came up to me and said they wanted to use “Logan” as preferred name, so I was like “huh? But that is your name, sibby” and they groaned but took it as acceptance.”

The taller one smiled weakly.

Their destination came into view.

“You are a good sibling, you know? Logan can be happy to have you throughout all of this.”

Virgil shrugged as she dropped the shrinking lollipop into her mouth once more. He pointed at the moderately-sized house. It looked sort of regular, one big VR still parked in the front.

“This one?”

Remy’s eyebrows narrowed, huddling together. They were slightly plucked but still looked natural. Somehow, Virgil felt proud of this.

A nod indicated yes at last. It felt annoying - how could a nod even express annoyance?

The unicorn snuggled closer.

“Enjoy your coke, bastard.”

The younger one groaned, rolling his eyes as he - once more - used the stairs.

Virgil scowled at them while the male glared.

“Literally, stairs are a pain and we should fucking bomb them away, honey.”

Remy squeezed his hand.

“Uh.. I mean,,.. fuck stairs but.. um”, he looked down, his eyes showing him just how much he was standing on a stranger’s doorstep, “fuck.”

Discomfort pooled in his hear, making him feel cold all of a sudden. It tickled in him but in a way that made him feel like he was going numb.. maybe he would just faint.

Instead, he kept stuttering about the door, just repeating the nonsense echoing through his burning mind

“It is okay, Remy. I can kiss it away!”

She grinned at him and leaned in. The stuttering stopped at once.

Wide eyes stared into the curiously baby blue orbs Virgil’s face held.

Coming closer and closer and-

“Yo, I really appreciate the company, but I really just wanted to go back inside.”

A voice like dark sandpaper rubbed between them, sawing their intimacy away and making Remy jolt in surprise. Hot, bloody anxiety flooded back into his consciousness whilst Virgil closed the distance between them as the unicorn/bunny stepped back before her tall baby.

“Okay, bitch, that is it, I will fucking FIgthT yOU!”, he screeched, bouncing up.

Remy acted fast to pull the furious ball of rage back into place. At least the unicorn was so small, he could easily contain the raging bean.

The new voice was more than voice, it was a person. Evidently, they already looked like friends, despite Virgil’s sudden threats and Remy’s gut-freezing anxiety. The styles seemed to unify them. They all looked like a bunch of social rejects old people would frown upon and little kids would point at. Brave teenagers would be scared and young adults would try to dominate then.

A person with an actual body stood there, dismissively leaning against the nearby wall of the house. A beanie adorned their head much like Remy’s and in contrast to Virgil’s messy ginger head.

Skin darker than a slight tan, eyes green like a miracle and so deep, deeper than the forest and every treasure.

A few strands of different colours could be seen to defy the beanie, They proudly stood out in the sunny light of a comfortable Sunday afternoon. Remy could identify a colour akin to pumpkins and different shades of green as if sculptured by nature personally.

Unnatural colours for hair but still, the stranger wore them as if this was the most natural of all occurrences.

Was this a bit of light blue? It contrasted with the row of shiny piercings in the stranger’s ears -- they all looked like little cartoon items of food? And that nose ring was to die for...

“And you wanna fight me, why?”

Virgil hissed, his jaw snapping together but only biting air before the newcomer.

“Ff-f-ucking ffforg-get it”, Remy jumped in, still mesmerised by how ripped someone’s jeans could really get. They were not revealing but fitting with a bit of space while being scratches and patched at any place he could identify.

Virgil came back to life at this comment, vocalisations of all the threatening kinds were thrown like from a feral animal.

The “suck the right butts” shirt with a human cartoon butt next to a burning cigarette seemed to tickle Virgil a bit into a level of slightly less intense readiness to throw hands. At least the weirdo had some style.

“Alright. Would you step away, then? I want to go back inside and eat my pancakes.”

Something within Remy died as the person said that.

Oh fuck.

Everything that did not matter seemed to matter an this point.

“You are the new neighbour?”, Virgil blinked dismissively and waved, “overrated.”

The stranger clicked a tongue impatiently, one blonde brow quirking up in question without him repeating his words.

“That b-bitch is on fucking coke o-or some ssshit! Don’t mind him!”

Remy pushed Virgil to the side, his arms still wrapped around him as to not let her fall down these miserably sad stairs.

Virgil huffed.

“Coke? You fucking picky shit, You can have cherry if you want it! I took it only because I love you more than I like coke flavour and you fucking thank me like this? I wanted to be nice and you are being a dumb butt again!”

He pouted.

Emile looked as uninterested as ever. If there was a sleeping stone on the porch, maybe there would be a chance this person would be more interested but right now? Not so much. The person was unimpressed, forest eyes blank in apathy.

“Listen, you two are very entertaining but -”

Remy cut this speech off in a.... honestly, there was no words for what exactly this special piece of human did at this point.

For some anxiety-logic reason (and for this “reason” only), he smacked Virgil’s furry thigh and let out an inhumane screen before pushing himself in front of the door and pushing his hand between him and the new neighbour. Or whom he deemed to be that person.

Virgil was next to him instead of before him and looking less smug or feral, just a tad confused at best. A reaction like this had her blink and swallow the cherry flavour of her saliva that came from the generous lollipop in her mouth.

He could not complain about that.

Well, maybe Emile would complain.

“Excuse you?”

A blonde eyebrow rose up. The stranger looked at Remy as if he was nothing but a mortal insect to the mighty deity this person was.

Remy was not shaking but his heart was uncontrollably sweating, swirling around his chest cavity and basically running in circles at an immense speed. Great panic ruled his existence and left him gasping and shaking his head for a moment.

“I- I am bit- REMY!”, he started, “I AM REMY”

He basically screamed his personal introduction at Emile. Panic regulated the tone of his voice and make his further screeches even more incoherent as Virgil just stood by, awestruck and frozen at this... this event of uncommon occurrence.

Honestly, she would lie if she claimed to have ever seen this sort of behaviour before. This was pretty much a first after considering just how anxious Remy was around strangers. Maybe the gayness in the air was just overriding the last bit of influence his braincell had?

Virgil appreciated the feeling but did not share the sentiment (which is a lie). He really did not (LIE). He REALLY did NOT!! (cheap lie. Read: he very much did but pretended not to care as much while his eyes tried not to shape into tiny hearts for how attracted she was to this new person).

Holy shit those two needed some more social contact other than each other.

“I am Emile. Fae/faer and They/them. I am not not really-”

Fae sighed, interrupting faer own sentence.

“My grandparents lived here for longer. I am the only new one here. I came here for a summer job only, so you don’t have to deal with me for long. You can just go back and make out in front of your own house now.”

Virgil blinked, underwhelmed.

“Shut up.”

Remy immediately drew in a gasp of air. It was loud, audible and more than just intrusive to anyone on the street. This sound could have been heard by everyone in the entire neighbourhood.

“Virgil, you insolent prick, shut up yourself, you wanted to be nice and help! You are not getting knife privileges, you .. you.. sucky.. fucky.. me-mean...”

He stumbled over his own words, suddenly finding himself at a loss of words as he was faced with the situation he was in.

This was too much. What was this even?

This was absurd, this is what it was. It was absolutely confusing and weird and not as it should have been. He should have given some stupid biscuits to some stupid neighbours and just bad-mouthed his mom for a bit longer because of how salty he got at the forced social interaction. Instead, he was caught in the gay panic that was this.. this fucking mess!

“If you don’t say “yes”, tell us to leave”, Virgil growled as he leaned in.

Emile did not back away even by an inch.

Actually, fae even leaned in, fae leaned in so much, fae could whisper right against Virgil’s lips. The thought of a word was lost on their lips as they moved and pronounced just enough of a “yes” for her to shoot forward and press their lips together.

Within seconds, hands got caught up in fingers, in strands of hair and articles of clothing.

Virgil brushed over the beanie, trying to find something to hold onto as he pulled down the giant of a faeling for a good session. There was no real grip there. Instead, she opted to do the one good thing she could be doing instead.

The unicorn tugged Emile down, pushing them against the door - right next to Remy who squealed in reply at the sudden crash.

They groaned into the kiss, hands looking for more roughness in the endlessly silkiness of a onesie. The push against the door was not even minded with as much as a mental note or even ...anything, really. The groan might have been nothing but pleasure.

But as soon as Virgil, The Storm (TM), has come, as soon he left again. She pulled away, clicking her tongue.

Somehow, she must have lots her lollipop.

If he had even half a mind for anything but getting more of Emile, she might have realised how she had dropped it in the moment their lips had crashed. How else would lips get that close in the first place? Lollipops were a good way of policing closeness - too good. They prevented kisses too much.

Virgil stepped back a bit, looking at Emile and Remy in satisfaction. Her curious eyes switched between one tall to the other tall pal.

“So... you two gonna shake hands now and say the whole neighbourhood shit? I did not come here for nothing.”

She shrugged, looking away as if to look for something. Sure, she found it on the ground. The pink ball of lollipop she had dropped in the excitement of sweeping in idiot up in a storm of a sudden kiss, the winds of passion and electricity of pleasure and excitement meeting.

Nonchalantly, the unicorn picked up the piece of trash and threw it into the trash in front of the house.

All the while, Emile and Remy watched her quietly.

“I told you to do the societal bullshit thing, so we can be nice and steal your biscuits Remy’s mom made.”

She rolled her eyes.

“I am Virgil, by the way. I am a unicorn and you would not dream to dream of me even in your wildest dreams.”

Fae nodded.

A new sense of knowledge - respect - was in their violently green eyes.

Remy simply shook his own head into waking his brain up.

“Remy, he/him. Virgil uses she/her and he/him.”

He cleared his throat, voice weak but not exactly recovering even after his little treat to his throat. He swallowed his coke-flavoured lollipop liquids.

“Sorry about ..”, he gestured towards his friend who cuddled up next to him as if he had done nothing more but given her mom a hug or whatever trivial thing like texting a bro, “that.”

Virgil huffed but said no more, only leaned into his side and sighed, sounding surprisingly void of energy.

“Do you want to come inside?”

Remy flinched at the question. The hot neighbour was pulling this fucking beanie off their head, revealing their colourful hair. Green and blue, orange-ish and purple were easily spotted in the mess of a dyed paradise. Faer hair were curled like clouds. Exactly like clouds. It was probably the most balanced state between curled up and simply wavy hair.

Virgil shrugged.

“Nah, did you not hear us? We came here by force because we hate life but adults think you gotta be nice to new neighbours. So imma go to Remy’s and eat these fucking biscuits his mom made for you because they will be great and you cannot have them. You can dream of them.”

She hugged him as if to prove a point.

The neighbour shrugged.

“Just wait a minute. I want to give you something. You guys.. you guys need it - you deserve it, you know?”

They pulled the beanie back over their head.

“Re- Remy? Can you move, I gotta get inside for a moment.”

Fae gestured towards the door and Remy quickly pushed against Virgil enough to straighten up his slouching friend a bit and give way to Emile.

The feral idiot seemed.. pretty much asleep at this point. Was there any point in even trying to wake her up? Probably not.

Anyway, the deity of a neighbour disappeared inside for a few moments and quickly came back with a little box.

“Biscuits”, fae stated rather bluntly. So much about them was just so blunt and straightforward without being straight in the slightest.

“I don’t think mine are better. I know it.”

They winked before disappearing into the house again, the door clicking shut with a loud and definite sound. For now, this was the last bit of interaction they would be able to squeeze out of faem.

But..

Virgil shook awake at the sudden impact of the door slamming back into its frame and pushing the lock until it clicked and closed as it was supposed to act. Instead of staying awake, his eyes switched from shot-open to rolling up to reveal white only until his lids had the mercy of blanketing these pools of eyes.

Her head travelled upright against the door with a dull “donk” and immediately lost all support from her neck, therefore rolled back against Remy’s shoulder.

“Virgil! Virgil, hey! Food!”

The bunny mumbled and turned closer to hugged Remy from the side. His arms reached around the entirety of the barely dressed man, a few curious fingers started tugging at his short skirt.

“Virgil!!”

The naughty friend groaned at the loud noise as if she had room to complain with even a bit of ground to stand on.

“Nooooo”, he whined. His body pulled back, forced by the magic of friendship to respect the boundaries of Remy’s super important message or whatever the shit,

He just wanted a nap and biscuits, man.

“Fuck..fuck you..mm”

Virgil was still busy rubbing her eyes when the taller man pointed at the box.

“We got more biscuits for you”, he informed the feral cryptid, “and it is in a box - Emile’s box. You know what that means.”

The onesie-clot bitch shrugged, shaking his head. A moment passed while Remy hugged the box, a dirty grin appearing on his lips.

“Wait~”

He lifted the lid just enough to reach into the box and get the first biscuit. Instead, there was a little.. piece of paper?

Remy pulled at it until it was in proper vision to see. He skipped down the stairs while Virgil sluggishly stumbled down the miserable excuse of stupid stone stairs. Literally those shits should be forbidden and aborted. Everyone would just trip over stairs but not on ramps.

Ramps were cool. Get ramps, kids.

“Vi, you h-”, Remy held his breath, stopping himself from saying anymore. Instead, he passed a note to a rather tired and moody baby of a bunny.

>>Get high with me tomorrow? xx xxx xxxx xxxx - HMU, you two are cute. BTW, love the shirt.<<

The awakening pal patted his own thigh suddenly, then the box and eventually reached up to Remy and pulled him into a kiss as if his lips depended on it.

It was much shorter than the wild session of kisses he had shared with Emile.

Again, as soon as Virgil came, as soon she was gone again.

With that, she grabbed the box and ran off.

“You bitch won’ be gettin’ any coke nor any COCK without me!”

He jumped around the corner, back to where the two had come from.

“You owe me a few cherry kisses yourself, Virgil!”

Remy promptly ran after her, cheeks ablaze, baked from the sun of a thousand kisses, heart flying on the wings of compliments and mind thriving on the warming and tickling light of hope.

Inside, Emile peeked out of the windows enough to see the two chasing down the block. Littering was bullshit but these two surely were some good.

The new neighbours were not so bad after all.

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