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redstringraven · 9 months

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alright, so after a thorough replay of the space-arc and a slightly less thorough comb of the invasion-arc here're some loose observations and thoughts regarding triceraton tattoos. i'm not touching triceratons featured in fast forward because... i don't have interest in that fjkldjks. my apologies.

this is mostly for myself, but you're of course more than welcome to use it as a resource, reference, whatever tickles your fancy. if i missed something, feel free to tell me!

there does seem to be some pattern with rank, so i'm gonna start with "low-rank" and make my way up the ladder.

citizens

we don't get to see a lot of triceraton citizens, and basically all of them are background fodder save for zed and raz (the games commentators). from what i can tell, none of them have tattoos on neither their eyes nor their arms--on the ones with bare arms, anyway. it's probably safe to assume they don't have them on their chests because those seem all-star specific.

rebellion

this is where the tattoo thing gets a bit weird--as in, i don't know if they're actually facepaint that can be removed, or if these are all citizens or green soldiers who've not earned their military tattoo yet. traximus still has his tattoo, but none of his rebellion soldiers have the ones we'll later see on every soldier as well as prison guards. it's definitely possible citizens joined the rebellion, but trax had also mentioned in the arena that he still had friends in the ranks. are they not there? did they remove their tattoos? am i over-analyzing a cartoon beyond what the creators considered? (it's that one).

you can click on the screenshot to make it a little bigger but the bottom-left shot shows an actual solder beside a rebellion soldier, the former's tattoo is barely visible but there. their concept art doesn't have a tattoo, and i didn't see any in-show who had one... but, i did more skim through the invasion-arc, so it's possible i missed one. lemmie know if i'm wrong.

prison guards

all prison guards seem to have a single, thick red-line tattoo over their right eye. the ends point toward the backs of their heads. not much to talk about here. the two in the second-to-bottom-left screenshot are missing theirs, but i'm going to assume this is an animation error.

--also, sidebar, i don't think the blue ""tattoos"" prisoners have are remotely the same type of thing, so i don't think that'd apply to my confusion over none of the rebellion soldiers having tattoos.

soldiers

here's once again where the definition of 'tattoo' gets a little blurry, because if tattoos are a sign of rank and then your rank changes... what do. maybe since triceratons already have advanced technology--and tough skin--they have... a solid form of tattoo removal. again, though, i don't think their tattoos are the same as the ""tattoos"" prisoners receive, so i doubt they'd just peel off?? if that were possible, you'd also think they would have removed traximus's tattoo after he was thrown into the games as another way to shame/derank him, too.

so, your basic and most common soldier seems to have two narrow maroon lines over their right eye. the ends do not point in any direction, they're just lines. they're thin enough that they can be very hard to see if the camera's at a distance, but they're still there--just hard to capture in a screenshot partially due to the quality i'm working with.

next is an ensign soldier, which is basically a low-ranking officer. i think we only see one of these guys (he's leading the group who find the turtles as stowaways at the beginning of s2ep3, the big house). his tattoos are once again over the right eye, maroon/purple, thicker than a soldier's tattoo, and the peak of the outer-most line has a point. for a moment, i thought that maybe you'd build on the tattoo as you ranked, but traximus and mozar are gonna kind of throw that theory out the window when we get to them.

there's also this guy from s2ep5, triceraton wars. he's labeled as "strike team leader" on his concept art, and getting a visible shot of his tattoo in-show is very frustrating and not helped by the fact it looks like they goofed his color palette, too. his tattoo is over the right eye (like the previous soldiers), red, and it's a curved line with ends that hook toward the front of his face. it's the most similar to traximus's tattoo that we see.

...also, this episode eludes to the fact that "slag" is a triceraton swear word, as zanramon uses it both as an exclamation of frustration and calls the strike team "slag brains". he could also just be calling them all stony waste matter, tho, so. do with that what you will.

there's also THESE GUYS from the invasion-arc in s3, and they confuse me because the invasion-arc not only introduces this new uniform design i don't see anywhere in the concept art that i've collected, but these soldiers have like. no tattoos. and it can't be an animation error because their lack of tattoo was consistent for any wearing this suit design. monza ram steals this suit from one of the soldiers, and looted soldier who reports back to zanramon later doesn't have a tattoo.

i wonder if these guys are like... more engineers than they are soldiers. we mostly see them in the docking bay or in the control room where the boys learn don's location on the homeworld. they're just armed because they'd stand in the way of anyone attempting to infiltrate the homeworld (or escape it), but i don't think i saw any of them leave the vessel itself.

gruell

gruell is an odd one because he has the same maroon tattoos as your common soldier--two narrow lines over the right eye--but he additionally has a tattoo on his right arm. it's of course possible that other soldiers also have this tattoo and that it's just hidden by their sleeves, but if tattoos are a show of rank or status you'd think it'd be somewhere more visible? maybe arm tattoos are additional signals of status when soldiers are in their civvies or something.

regardless, gruell's arm tattoo is the only of its kind we see: it appears to be red ink: an upright triangle that breaks into two longer lines where the top line hooks up toward the triangle and the bottom line hooks down toward another triangle, albeit this one is upsidedown. i'm not sure if this is meant to be an abstract design with the usual triceraton fondness of triangles and jagged lines, or if's maybe a representation of a bi-ringed planet? homeworld before they blew it up oopsie-doopsy? who knows.

monza ram + the all-stars

okay, if there are ANY anomalies on this list, it's these guys. none of them have anything resembling the soldier nor prison guard tattoos we've previously seen.

monza ram is the most unique; he doesn't seem to have any body tattoos, but he does have two thick red tattoos (or one big tattoo?) that rises from his jaw on both sides of his face and breaks into two spikes, one ending before it reaches his eye and the other 'cutting through' the eye and peaking on his brow. it covers the back third of his face, right in front of where his frill starts.

the other three all-stars have a much more narrow tattoo on either side of their face that looks like a jagged scratch, another narrow tattoo across the backs of their necks, then an extremely long one that seems to wrap diagonally around their back and end on their pecks. this is the only instance of tattoos that aren't maroon or red, too, as one all-star has blue tattoos and another has brown.

we unfortunately don't really know anything about the all-stars, just that they seem to be separate from the gladiator slaves, are undefeated (before the turtles), and after they lost their first fight zanramon had them imprisoned, where traximus would later free and recruit them. none of them have soldier tattoos. i know the triceratons love battle, so i wonder if they're more like the career tributes in the hunger games. they volunteered to be gladiators rather than were made to be them. eh. *shrugs*

commander mozar

title revoked because i said so, mozar is frustrating because he doesn't have an eye tattoo that we can see. those marks under his eye-patch are more likely from the injury that cost him his eye since they're a darker color than his skin tone, but where shit gets tricky is that traximus was a commanding officer before he was gladiator'd. so, it's possible that mozar has a tattoo identical to trax's under that eye-patch, and we just can't see it.

important to note, however, that his right eye--the eye where all other soldiers have had a tattoo--is bare. that's where the whole... building on your tattoo as you rank up theory kind of falls to the wayside. he technically SHOULD have one, but he doesn't.

he also has an arm tattoo, but it's on his left arm. again--he might also have one on his right arm, but it's sleeved. his left arm is only visible because his prosthetics must require a shorter sleeve. the tattoo on his arm is red: the top piece is a crescent shape lying on its side so it opens upward, then a long line that dips into a crescent shape so it frames the crescent above it, and finally an upsidedown triangle under the lowest point of the middle curve. this is much more of an abstract design than gruell's, idk what this could be.

traximus

as with mozar, traximus complicates the ranking up theory because he also lacks any tattoos on his right eye; his tattoo is on his left eye, and it appears to be reddish, zig-zagging down from his horn, across his brow, down over his eye, back along his cheek and then down to the corner of his mouth.

he doesn't have an arm tattoo on his right arm like gruell does, and if he has a tattoo on his left arm like mozar, it's covered by either his commanding officer sleeve or his gladiator armor. if mozar's tattoo has any connection to his ranking as a commander, it's possible trax has it, too. we just never get the chance to see it. pity.

the council

the council is a main indication that tattoos might be less a show of social status and more military or warrior specific, because none of the council members have visible tattoos (ignore mozar, he forgot to wear pink last wednesday idk why he's sitting with us). kind of helps me lean a bit more into my engineer theory from earlier.

prime leader (zanramon)

no visible tattoos. none whatsoever. pathetic. let's be real, he'd probably start crying before the needle even grazed his skin.

if you've made it to the end: thank you ONCE AGAIN for coming along with me on one of my dives into triceraton bullshittery. i'm sorry, i will do it again.

#tmnt 2003 #tmnt 2k3 #triceratons #;hannah's meta #;triceratons #[ space dinosaurs go brrrrr ]

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dadcred · 6 months

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okay so. ive got a lot of thoughts about usopp and his “negativity” with regards to his fight against perona during thriller bark and his subsequent timeskip character development.

keep in mind that this is based on the english dub of the anime, and there very well could be totally different implications in jpn/english subs, though tbh i’d be kinda sad if this were the case because i think there’s a lot of depth to explore (which is exactly what i’m attempting to do here.)

so the entire idea behind usopp’s immunity to perona’s negative ghosts is that he’s an inherently “negative” person, so he can’t be made “more negative” so to speak. and throughout this whole bit, they keep interchanging “negativity” with “pessimism.” ex: when zoro, franky, and sanji are running away from that fight, zoro says something like “i never thought usopp’s pessimism would come in handy.”

and i found that really interesting because i wasn’t aware until then that usopp was meant to be so extremely pessimistic apparently. yes, he’s a coward who is reluctant to face his fears (he’s not unique in this, see: the coward trio). yes, he gets anxious about the worst outcomes (tho he’s not the one actually identifying or voicing the worst case scenarios in many cases). yes, he harbors doubts about his own capabilities (arguably the only thing here unique to him). but none of this is “pessimism.” that is to say, “pessimism” is erroneously used as a synonym for “negativity” when in fact “negativity” is an incredibly broad concept under which “pessimism” is a subset. and based on negative ghosts’ actual effects on characters, we know that they do way more than just suddenly make a person a glass-half-empty kinda guy.

my thesis here is that the term that better describes the kind of negativity that the ghosts impose on people is “depression,” in which case, the only way usopp can be immune is if he’s already depressed. and substituting that with “pessimism” instead allows us as the audience to be more okay with the fact that the narrative never goes back and interrogates what is a serious claim of a character’s mental health. i’m not bothered by this—it’s a shounen anime after all—but i DO love exploring this line of thought because of the insight it provides on usopp’s character.

first, let’s go back to what perona’s negative ghosts actually do. their effect has been described as “draining your will to live” and “making your heart empty”. when characters get hit by a negative ghost, they’ll lose all their drive and say things like “i’m no better than a dog,” “i just want to be a clam” and stuff like that (i’m paraphrasing). and neither those descriptions nor effects remotely resemble “pessimism.” having little to no will to live or just do much of anything, feeling empty and hopeless, having self esteem issues, wanting to erase the complexities of your humanity to exist as a base organism: those are all textbook symptoms of depression.

meaning, in order for usopp to be completelt immune to the negative ghosts, he doesn’t just have to be a pessimist. he’d have to have little to no willpower or motivation. he’d have to think so lowly of himself that it’s impossible to hate himself further. and water 7 showed us a glimpse of that: we know he has ambition—he wants to become a brave warrior of the sea—but we also know after water 7 that, compared to the other straw hats, he views his ambition as a nice-to-have pipe dream and not one that he has what it takes to achieve.

but thriller bark is implying this runs much much deeper than just self doubt that sprang up over the course of his travels with the straw hats. he’d have to be so empty inside that there’s no hope left for the ghosts to feed on.

and while that might seem overexaggerated for the purposes of this ability because, again, it’s a shounen anime and these implications start feeling uncomfortable the more you consider them, there is one line that affirms that the above really might all be true about usopp: when everyone realizes usopp is immune to the ghosts, zoro, in disbelief, asks, “is his heart really that empty?”

personally, i don’t think there’s any sugarcoating that. (and tbh between this and zoro later ruminating on how usopp’s depression came in handy in a fight, i’m glad at least one character acknowledged that that’s a little fucked up and worrying actually.)

so yeah, usopp’s depressed! and on god, i didn’t think it was possible to love him anymore than i do, but this bit of thriller bark made me love him infinitely more because goddamn that’s so relatable. we constantly have these narratives of “wow we never knew xyz was depressed they never let on” and i personally thunk that’s bullshit because unless someone is exhibiting a completely nonfunctional lifestyle, we assume that they can’t really be that depressed. as a high functioning person w anxiety/depression/adhd/ptsd, i was denied diagnosis and treatment for years bc i wasnt glued to my bed, getting bad grades, isolated, and/or on the verge of offing myself. this isn’t the main point i’m trying to make as much as it is a tangent, but seeing a character like usopp, who i at the very least consider the heart of the straw hats, also be depressed guy just tryna stay afloat everyday despite all the nothingness and self hate inside made my heart really full.

which then brings me to post timeskip, where his development in this realm is addressed outright in that battle in fishman island arc against the little hole digging gremlin. that guy consistently taunts usopp with everything usopp once harbored major insecurities about, and usopp not only remains unfazed, but explicitly refutes those taunts by saying that stuff no longer bothers him. the idea being that he gained a lot of self confidence over those two years. and as all my mentally ill lads know, that’s not fuckin easy when your brain’s been working against you for so long. self confidence is the result of developing and practicing a lot of healthy coping mechanisms to manage and live with your depression.

now i hesitate to credit oda and the shounen genre in general with having meant all this to be as deep as i’m interpreting it. but intentional or not, i’m overwhelmed with emotions whenever i consider usopp’s character because who gives a shit about his physical strength and abilities and whether or not they’re on par with everyone else’s when his real buff is hard earned mental fortitude and self confidence??

all of that is to say, i have a lot of love for usopp and i guess most people arent into shounen for the complexities of character writing, but personally i think your taste is questionable at best if this bit about usopp’s character doesn’t intrigue and impress you in any way. that’s all.

#honk #sorry for long post but i said i had a lot on my mind and i meant it #usopp #one piece #oh my god so many typos im fixin em

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mysecretlittlelibrary · 1 year

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Just Let Me Adore You Pt. 1

Pairing: Stucky x Reader

Word Count: 4.2k

Warnings: none here, we've just begun

Genre: mostly fluff ig

Summary: You’ve been dating your boyfriend, Bruce, for 3 absolutely blissful years. He’s a scientist and professor who is as smart as he is kind and if anyone asked, you were sure you’d spend the rest of your life with him. That is until two mysteriously charming men that Bruce swears are dangerous take an interest in you that threatens to turn your entire life upside down. I mean… what exactly are you supposed to do with two gorgeous men telling you something that suggests that basically everything you think you know is a lie? And why does part of you have enough doubt to wonder if they might be telling the truth?

Series Masterlist

***

It's a beautiful afternoon as you're wrapping up your shift at the cute little cafe/bookstore you work at.

"See ya later y/n!" Your coworker, a kid named Peter calls after you when you leave.

"See you! Have a good shift!" You wave at him with a smile. Peter's 18 and has only been working at the store for a couple of weeks, so far he's doing pretty well. Most of his shifts are in conjunction with yours and today's one of the first times he'll be working with some of the others. You trained him well so you know he'll be fine but it's kinda like leaving your kid somewhere for the first time. Your walk home is nice, late spring bringing warmer temperatures that aren't yet sweaty which you take advantage of. When you walk into your shared apartment, you find your boyfriend of three years sitting at your kitchen counter. Your boyfriend Bruce is a professor and researcher, and you moved in together almost a year ago.

"Hey y/n." He calls over his shoulder, papers scattered around him and his laptop.

"Hi Brucey. You done with lectures for the day?" You ask draping your arms over his shoulders and kissing his cheek.

"Yeah, I cancelled my second lecture for the day- they've got an exam next class." Bruce tells you.

"Ah I see. So how was your first lecture?"

"It was fine, it was my psych class and we ended up having some very interesting discussions. How was your day? You still training that guy?"

"You mean Peter right? His training is pretty much done, actually today he's working a different shift than me."

"Well how's it going for him?"

"I think he's doing alright honestly. He's a little nervous sometimes but it's kinda cute." You giggle.

"Cute, huh?"

"Yeah, the kid's a ball of nervous energy actually. Sometimes he talks like he's had too many espresso shots and it's so fast he's almost unintelligible but apparently he doesn't even drink coffee, which, I think might be for the best. It's so interesting though, I don't know many teenage boys who display energy that way." You hum.

"Maybe he's got anxiety or something."

"Hm, I hadn't considered that. He probably does." You muse grabbing a bottle of water from your fridge. "Well that's the uni update, anything interesting going on in the research area for you?"

"Oh, yeah we've got a vampire coming to the lab tomorrow actually."

"I'm not sure if I like that honestly." You hum.

"Not to worry sweetheart, it's safe. I won't even be alone with him." Bruce says.

"Right of course, not alone just- with others that are part of a vampire's diet."

"You know not all vampires feed on humans."

"What's the alternative? Animals?"

"Yes, exactly." He nods.

"And the vampire you're studying tomorrow eats animals?"

"Correct."

"And you're sure about that?" You ask.

"Well we're studying him because he's animal fed so I sure hope he is."

"Have you ever studied vampires that do eat humans?"

"Yes, back when I was a research assistant. Honestly, the hardest part about studying vampires is hunting them. Once they're caught you can sedate them and that makes it much easier."

"You hunted them?"

"I mean vampires aren't exactly jumping in line to volunteer for this kind of thing you know." Bruce shrugs.

"So this animal-fed vampire, did he volunteer?"

"Yes he did. I don't really run tests on unwilling participants these days. It's unethical."

"I know that. Sounds like your old research boss didn't feel the same." You say.

"Well, that group of researchers mostly tagged creatures to study their patterns in nature. They weren't so much running tests but it's a bit hard to tag a vampire that's trying to rip your heart out so-" Bruce shrugs.

"Alright well I'll take your word on of yours this vampire tomorrow. Be careful." You say.

"Always darling." He winks at you. In all honesty, you try not to ask too many questions about your boyfriend's research of supernatural creatures. He swears to you it's all ethical but you're not sure how well it sits with you. You've been to the lab once and the asylum-like observational rooms you saw were offputting. Stark white walls and a small bed in an otherwise empty room doesn't seem very morally sound to you despite what Bruce tells you. Granted the observational cells were empty when you visited so you can only hope nobody's been in there against their will.

"Y/n!" Bruce pulls you from your thoughts and your head snaps to his confused face.

"Sorry, I- spaced, did you say something?" You ask.

"I said I was thinking we'd order something for dinner, does that sound okay?" Bruce chuckles. You want so badly to trust that his work is virtuous because that's what he tells you.

"Yeah that's fine with me. Did you want Chinese or Thai or there's that Italian place too, maybe pizza?" You list off some options, shaking the uncertainty from your mind. They say ignorance is bliss.

"Do you have a preference?" He asks.

"Let's do Chinese."

"Sounds good. I'll finish grading these assignments and then order in a couple hours." Bruce says.

"Yeah that's fine." You nod giving Bruce a quick kiss and leaving him to his papers. With the few hours you have to spare until dinner, you crack open your latest read, a book recommended to you by a coworker that you've been meaning to start for a while. Eventually, Bruce orders dinner and gets your attention once the food arrives. Your night is pretty relaxed, you eat and chat while watching TV together for a while before you turn in for the night. You and Bruce do have different rooms because it's important to have your own space, but most nights you sleep together in his room. You'd consider your life pretty ordinary. You have routines and habits and while you have lots of fun experiences, you'd say most of your life is very much average.

~*~*~

The tinkling of the bell over the door doesn't pull your attention from the magazine you're reading but you do greet the customer since you're at the register by the door.

"Hi welcome in!" You say with mild cheeriness.

"Hiiii y/n!" The sing-song greeting comes from your best friend and you look up when you realize.

"Wanda! Hey love." You smile at her.

"Hi! Hi Peter!" She waves at Peter, who's learning how to work the coffee bar today.

"Oh. Hi miss Wanda!" He says with a shy wave.

"I've told you sweetie you don't have to call me miss." Wanda chuckles.

"Sorry." He mutters.

"What a cutie." Wanda hums.

"Isn't he?" You agree quietly. "Anyway, what brings you here babes?" You ask.

"Is your shift almost over? I wanted to hang out today."

"Well I'm supposed to be out of here in the next half hour or so but of course, I've gotta wait for Matt or Layla to come in before I can actually leave." You shrug.

"Peter! How good are you at that coffee bar?" Wanda calls across the store.

"Uh- I- I'm alright I think." Peter says.

"Wanna try making me a vanilla latte?" She asks.

"Well I- I can try."

"Confidence honey, you've got the recipes, you can do this. Don't act like the coffee bar's gonna bite ya!" You tell him.

"Right! Confidence. Vanilla latte coming up." Peter nods grabbing items to make Wanda's drink.

"And if you have any questions I'm right here!" You call.

"I'll wait for your shift to end and then can we do something together?" Wanda asks you.

"Of course we can." You nod.

"Done!" Peter says after a few minutes. Wanda takes the coffee from Peter and drops a five on the counter for him before sitting at a table with her drink and a magazine.

"This is pretty good for how unsure you were Peter." Wanda tells him.

"Good job Petey! I told you, you got it." You smile at him and again he hits you both with a shy smile.

"Thanks." He says quietly. A few customers come in and leave before Eric arrives and you clock out, leaving arm in arm with Wanda. She seems to have a destination in mind as you walk together.

"So where are we going lovely?" You ask her after a few minutes of her dragging you down city streets.

"Well I have a date tonight and I need something to wear, so the mall." She tells you.

"A date? You have a date? Why didn't you mention this before now?!" You blink at her.

"Honestly I forgot about it until I realized it was tonight." She shrugs.

"You forgot about it? Are you even interested in this person?" You laugh incredulously.

"I am! He's very sweet, I just have been busy with other things this week."

"Alright well let's get you something to wear for this second thought date." You snort.

"It wasn't a second thought. It's just that I can only prioritize like three things at a time."

"Seriously? You can lift a plane with your mind but can't remember your date until the day of?" You scoff. Wanda's a witch. It's the only real secret you keep from Bruce. She's not totally comfortable with him knowing that information and since it's her life you have no problem supporting that decision. To tell the truth, she's not very comfortable with him in general because of the whole research thing but he makes you happy so she gets along well enough for your sake.

"I didn't forget forget I was just, you know, too busy to think about it."

"Yeah sure whatever." You laugh as she pulls you into a store near the mall's entrance. "So how do you know this date of yours? Friend of a friend? Someone from work? A dating app? One of Pietro's friends?"

"He's a friend of a coworker." She tells you.

"A friend of a coworker? Is this a blind date?"

"No. He came to a work function and I had a nice enough time talking to him there that when he asked me on a date I said yes."

"It sounds like your coworker was setting you up and just played the long game." You chuckle.

"Hang on I'd like to circle back to your suggestion that it would be one of Pietro's friends. Why would I ever do that?!" She looks at you over a clothing rack.

"Oh come on Pietro's adorable." You laugh.

"This is about his friends, not him."

"Yeah I know but I'm of the belief that hot people hang with hot people so naturally-"

"Yeah that's not. No."

"Why? Is it the fact that the halfling has mostly vampire friends? I know you have ethical reservations about the whole blood sucking thing despite being raised by a vampire." You ask as the two of you leave the store you're in. Wanda and Pietro are twins but apparently since their father is a vampire and their mother is a witch one twin got each supernatural gene, making Pietro a vampire halfling.

"Most of Pietro's friends hunt animals so no it's not that." She rolls her eyes.

"Wait they hunt animals?" You blink.

"Yeah? So does Pietro, you know that."

"I know he does but I guess I didn't think about his friends- I think one of them might be volunteering for Bruce."

"What?" Wanda's eyes widen.

"A couple of weeks ago Bruce told me a vampire was going to the lab and they were going to study him because he's animal fed and well, considering we live in New York and not Idaho I can't imagine there's a large population of animal diet vampires." You explain.

"What if he finds out about Pietro? About me?" Wanda gasps as the two of you enter another store.

"He won't. Even if this guy knows Pietro why would he put another person on Bruce's watchlist that didn't ask to be there? His loyalty should be to other vampires not to a bunch of researchers." You say quietly. The shop you're in is empty besides the employees and while supernatural creatures aren't a secret, some people are more reserved when it comes to them.

"Some of them don't accept Pietro because of our parentage. He could rat him out on purpose for-"

"Bruce isn't going to go hunting people down, I've mentioned Pietro like once so he might not even know you're related, it's not like Pietro would rat on you, and if Bruce does find out that you're twins well, you aren't a vampire. I'll simply tell him that twins of a vampire and a nonvampire split the gene, and only one gets it. Plus it's been a couple of weeks since this happened, if the vampire had mentioned Pietro or Bruce had any suspicions about you, he'd have given himself away by now. He's not going to find out you're a witch. He's not going to find out Pietro is a halfling. Your secrets are safe."

"Man I hope so." She sighs.

"Yeah well I know so." You tell her. The two of you flip through racks of clothes for a while, pulling different items for Wanda to try on in the dressing room. "So where are you going with this guy?" You ask her when you finally reach the dressing rooms at the back.

"Dinner! Maybe something else after but we're starting with dinner." Wanda says through the door as she tries on the first dress she picked.

"Hm, what's his name?"

"Wes."

"Wes? Is it short for Wesley or- is that the whole name?"

"It's short for Wesley." She pushes back the dressing room curtain to show you the dress. "What do you think?"

"That's cute. Although maybe not right for a first date." You say. It's a short dark blue dress with lace trimming and as much as you like it, it's not a dinner date outfit.

"Yeah- maybe you're right." She looks at herself in the mirror for a moment and then closes the curtain.

"Hm, Wesley? That's not the worst name in the world." You hum.

"Y/n!" Wanda laughs.

"Look! I'm not trying to be mean, but you know, some names just don't... roll off the tongue the right way ya know." You shrug even though she can't see you.

"Now why would you say that?" She tries to scold you but you can hear her hiding her laughter before she shoves back the curtain again. "This one?" She asks. This dress is a green off-the-shoulder pick with bell sleeves.

"I think it's the wrong shade of green for you honestly." You tell her.

"Ya think so?" She hums and closes the curtain again.

"Anyway, I said it because it's true. Like I'm not saying you're going to fuck this guy or anything but imagine trying to moan a name like Bartholomew or Yolanda. Ya know? Wes or even Wesley you could probably get away with though."

"Don't be crude! I don't think anyone born in the last century is named Bartholomew but- I guess I get your point." Wanda chuckles.

"Also it's cute that your names are alliterative. Wanda and Wesley. You'll have to come up with some cute introduction when you meet people as a couple."

"It is one date. You are for sure skipping ahead." Wanda pulls back the curtain in a new dress, pointing an accusing finger at you. This one is a two-toned red and black dress.

"I mean if you think about it now you're ready for if the time comes." You shrug.

"You and your ability to romanticize things." She shakes her head. "Thoughts on this one?"

"Life is better when you romanticize things. Honestly, I think this is your dress. You should get this one. It's gorgeous on you. If he's not speechless when he sees you, leave." You tell her.

"That's dramatic." She laughs.

"It's in my nature." You shrug.

"It is a nice dress though. Should I bother trying the others?" She asks as she closes the curtain again to change back into her clothes.

"I mean if you want to but I'm pretty much sold on this one." You say.

"Excuse me." You hear a voice behind you that causes you to spin around. A sales associate for the store you're in is smiling at you when you do.

"Hi! Can I help you?" You ask.

"This is for you." She says holding out a shopping bag with the store's logo on it. Your hands fly up as if you're surrendering.

"I- didn't purchase anything so that cannot be right." You shake your head.

"Actually the items were purchased for you by someone. It's a gift."

"A gift from whom?" You frown in confusion.

"They've asked to remain anonymous."

"That- sounds increasingly suspicious. Um can you, hold the bag open for me?" You ask her.

"Excuse me?" Now she's confused.

"I am not touching that bag if I don't know what's inside it. So, if you could just open it so I can look inside?" You explain. "Wanda! You almost done in there?" You call as the associate opens the bag. Wanda rushes out of the dressing room when she hears your voice.

"Everything okay?" She asks you.

"Somebody has anonymously gifted me some items apparently." You share a look at her before looking into the bag to find a dress, a jacket, and a jewelry set each that you'd commented on while shopping with Wanda. You spin around to face Wanda almost too fast. "Holy shit it's all stuff I said I liked while we were shopping." You speak quickly and quietly to her.

"What?"

"It's the dress and the jacket that I put down right before we came to the dressing room." You hiss.

"Woah." Wanda blinks. You turn back to the associate.

"Did they pay with a card? Can you refund this person somehow? I can't just take this gift from a stranger." You tell her.

"All of the items they bought are final sale so unfortunately, a refund would not be possible, plus they paid in cash."

"So- there's really nothing I can do but take this?"

"I mean if you don't take it I'll simply sell them again. It'd be unfortunate for the purchaser." The associate tells you. You look at Wanda again.

"This is like a $200 purchase what the fuck?" You whisper to Wanda.

"Then I guess you should take it." Wanda whispers back. You mull it over in your head for a moment before turning back to face the associate.

"Alright fine. Thank you." You take the bag from the associate with a small smile. "If the, anonymous gifter returns please inform them that I appreciate the gesture but not to do it again because this is very weird." You tell her.

"I will pass on the message." She nods and walks away.

"I cannot believe you've got a secret admirer." Wanda loops her arm through yours and pulls you towards the counter with her chosen dress in hand.

"This is absolutely ridiculous. What do I tell Bruce?" You frown.

"The truth. That a stranger bought them and you have no idea who it is." She shrugs. The two of you check out and leave the store and subsequently the mall, Wanda deciding she has enough shoes to choose from at home. "Do you have any idea who it might be?"

"No. I only talk to like 5 people and none of them are spending $200 on items I only mentioned liking while we were just shopping."

"Even Bruce?"

"If Bruce did it, he wouldn't keep it a secret. So I know it's not him." You tell her.

"Well, you'll have to tell me how he reacts. I'm going to head home so I can prep for this date. I'll call you later." Wanda says hugging you tightly.

"Have fun babes." You kiss her cheek and then part ways, heading back to your apartment. When you unlock the door and kick off your shoes, the smell of food welcomes you so you head to the kitchen.

"Hi Bruce!" You say wrapping your arm around him from behind.

"Hi babe, welcome home. Work a longer shift at work or something?" Bruce asks.

"No Wanda came to my job and we went shopping once I got off. She's got a date tonight!" You tell him and Bruce turns enough to see the shopping bag sitting on the counter.

"I see you got some things too. What's in the bag?" Bruce asks.

"A dress, a jacket, and some jewelry."

"Impromptu mini shopping spree?" Bruce chuckles.

"Well I didn't buy any of that stuff actually." You shrug. Bruce frowns at you for a moment before turning back to whatever he's cooking. A past dish from the looks of it.

"Honey I know we don't really keep secrets from each other but if you're going to commit a crime-"

"I didn't steal them. Why is your first thought that I stole?" You chuckle.

"You said you didn't buy them."

"Yeah I didn't. They were gifted to me while I was shopping."

"What?"

"Someone bought these things and had a sales associate bring them to me."

"Who?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know? You didn't ask any questions?"

"I asked like a dozen questions, including if she could refund whoever it was that did this and she said no. She also told me whoever it was asked to remain anonymous, what was I supposed to do? Force the information out of her? She probably doesn't know who it is either."

"What if he was watching you? You accepted the gift he might think he has an in with you."

"How do you know that this person has any intention of doing that?"

"Can you think of any other reason that they'd spend hundreds on stuff for you? This is basically a secret admirer stunt y/n."

"Look I told the sales lady to let whoever it was know that this was incredibly inappropriate but it's too late to do anything else. Even if they're stalking me I have no idea who they are so, what do you want from me here?" You cross your arms.

"I don't mean to snap at you I'm just worried about your safety." Bruce pulls you to his chest.

"Yeah, I get that, but it sounds like you're blaming me for receiving an anonymous gift." You mutter.

"I'm not trying to blame you I promise. This is just weird and it concerns me."

"Honestly as weird as this situation is I dunno I just don't hear the alarm bells I usually notice before something goes wrong. Of course it's only one incident, things could escalate."

"Well, even if you don't feel alarmed by this, be careful anyway." Bruce kisses the top of your head.

"Always." You wink at him. The rest of your evening is quiet, you discuss work over dinner and watch TV before eventually getting ready for bed.

~*~*~

You hum along to the music playing in the store as you restock some items by the register, it's pretty slow around this time in the afternoon usually so you've got Peter in the back learning inventory stuff.

"Hi welcome in!" You call over your shoulder instinctively when the bell by the door goes off.

"Hey, excuse me." You turn around at the voice to see two men looking at you, one Black and one white.

"Hi! Is there something I can help you with?" You smile.

"Actually we're looking for someone. An employee, Peter Parker. Is he here?" The Black man asks you.

"Mind telling me what this is about?" You ask keeping a polite smile on your face although their question concerns you.

"Excuse me?" He blinks at you.

"Well Peter's a kid so I hope you can understand my reservations in disclosing information about him to men who haven't identified themselves or their relationship to him, and seemingly don't know his schedule which to me means he does not want you popping up at his place of employment unexpectedly." You cross your arms and the one who hasn't spoken quirks an eyebrow at you.

"Look is the kid here or not?"

"I'm not authorized to give out information you don't already have about anyone who may or may not work here." You tell them.

"This is ridiculous- Parker! It's Wilson and Barton come up here." The Black man calls loudly. You spin around and intercept Peter when you hear his footfalls behind you.

"Peter do you know these men?" You ask quietly. He looks over your shoulder.

"Yeah they're friends. I'm sorry if they're causing you trouble." Peter tells you nervously.

"They aren't causing me trouble but they're looking for you and I wanna make sure you aren't in any danger."

"No. No danger. It's alright, they're alright. Is it cool if I step out with them for a moment?"

"It's empty so fine but you probably shouldn't do this often."

"I swear this won't happen again."

"Go, make it quick." You wave towards the door and he leads the two men out of the store.

"She seems protective of you." Clint points out.

"She's real nice, it's kinda like having an older sister at work but that's besides the point you guys cannot just show up here while I'm working!" Peter tells them.

"That's cute, and relax you're just a cover, we were told to check on her." Sam says.

"She's wearing the jacket." Clint mutters.

"She's wearing the jacket! Did she mention anything to you Parker?" Sam looks from you to Peter.

"About her jacket? No? Why should she?" Peter frowns.

"No reason. The fact that she's wearing it bodes well for them I think." Sam says.

"Bodes well for who? Wait did they buy her that jacket?! She's been in a relationship for like three years!"

"Relax kid leave this to the adults." Sam nudges him.

"They can't just poach someone's girlfriend."

"No one's poaching anyone don't worry about it, Peter. Oh, but they do wanna see you after you get off so- head to the offices when your shift is over." Clint claps Peter on the back and then he and Sam leave.

"Sorry about that." Peter says as he rushes back in.

"Everything alright?" You ask.

"Yeah! Totally fine, I'm gonna go finish learning inventory."

"Holler if you need anything." You hum. You know it's not really any of your business but you do hope Peter was telling the truth and those guys weren't here to hassle him.

***

Part 1/???

Tagged Users: @cjand10

#marvel fanfiction #marvel #stucky fanfic #stucky x reader #stucky fluff #stucky smut #stucky #werewolf bucky barnes #werewolf steve rogers #werewolf au #stucky angst #Just Let Me Adore You #steve rogers x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #steve rogers

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actuallyberriesarebananas · 4 months

Text

Gentle with Gentle

Anime/Manga: Wind Breaker by Satoru Nii

Characters: Mitsuki Kiryu, Hayato Sou

Notes: Relationship is platonic. I actually don't know what I wanted to go for this fic, just thought these two should have more interaction in the manga >n<. I had a hard grasp on how to write them together (or maybe it's a me problem lol) since they don't really have any backstory yet, but I tried to make them in character. I hope you'll enjoy their little bonding ^^

‘How did it end up like this?’

Kiryu thought as he released a regretful sigh, looking down at his vice-captain tending to his sprained ankle whilst a lump of unconscious bodies scattered around the street away from the comforting shade of the pharmacy.

The burgundy haired boy chuckled halfheartedly at Kiryu's lazy attempt of a called joke. His head a bit woozy from the stinging sensation below him, ignoring that, he only hoped to ease the awkward air around them.

Kiryu impatiently fidgeted his fingers along the hem of his sleeve that was resting on sleek wooden bench while his other hand felt cold to the touch against an ice pack, “I'm sorry for the inconvenience Sou-chan.”

“I thought those hooligans were meatheads, but I guess they were hardheaded too.”

The cherry-blossom haired student was not used to accompanying Sou on patrols, or any situation with only the both of them for that matter. They had only been able to interact with one another with the other guys around, not as a pair.

And especially not with tending to other's personal injuries. He felt a bit embarrassed letting his class’s vice-captain have the responsibility in dealing with his own minor mistake.

“Next time, use your heel Kiryu-kun.” Sou’s usual smile was shown, though Kiryu felt a slightly harsh tug from his bandaging. Kiryu winced at the gesture, “Oh my, is Sou-chan still mad at me?”

At that, Sou lifted his face and saw a lopsided smile from the cherry-blossom head. He hummed mindlessly, “No, not at all. I just think you need to have more faith in others.”

Kiryu raised his brow in question, “What do you mean by that?”

“I told you that I could handle the rest of them and yet, you still came jumping to my side.”

Sou raised a finger with a look of wonder, “Something similar happened last time, hm?”

‘Kiryu-kun’

‘You don't have to worry about the ones in the back’

Kiryu's smile slowly fell into an almost straight line from the memory when his chest calmed hearing,

‘I’m here, after all.’

After reminiscing, the hands around his injury were still gentler as before, but now it turned less tense and much relaxed, more secure. The gentleness and care nearly felt soft like cotton to his skin that it gave him goosebumps. It fitted Sou's character.

His eyelids squinted at the eye-patched captain’s next words, “You’re not the same case with Sakura-kun, but I can tell you hesitate sometimes.” Brown-red irises eye-to-eye with evergreens, not glistening a disappointment or indignation. It was a glint of patience, support, an assurance signaling that a helping hand is willing to be held out when he needed it.

“I don't know what happened to you before Kiryu-kun, but you can trust on us.”

A close-eyed smile plastered his face, reassuring his fellow classmate. “We're strong too, you know.”

A quiet breath was exhaled, his pattern clothed shoulders slacken once his inner thoughts were dispersed by the long-time needed consolation.

Kiryu widened a small smile that shined more brightly than the metal piercings dawned on his features, “I'm sorry for doubting, Sou-chan. I won't do it again. I promise!”

The hair-pinned boy exclaimed his last word by bringing a pinky finger in front of Sou.

‘How childish’ Sou huffed at the thought, nevertheless smiling at the befitting action which he answered, intertwining his finger with the other.

“Let’s work hard together from now own.”

He stood up from his crouching position; finished patching up the smaller male, and dusted his pants.

‘You’re truly kind, Sou-chan.’

Kiryu looked down at his newly bandaged ankle that he observed to be quite well-wrapped. Not too tight, not too loose, comfortable to the touch. What else did he expect from their charming, reliable vice-captain.

Now that Kiryu thought about it, Sou acted a lot like a gentleman. Obviously, he's gentle; kind, clean and proper, soft-spoken (a bit of a joker though, nothing bad for having a sense of humor), and also can be sympathetic if you exclude his slightly sadistic tendencies.

He's a strong and utterly suave fighter. Seriously, has anyone saw this person break a sweat in a fight?

Plus, undeniably, he's handsome.

Not being pretentious in Kiryu's defense, but he sees that himself and the tassel earring fighter are similar in some aspects.

Out of curiosity, he had to ask, “Sou-chan, you're popular with the girls aren't you.” His supposed question sounded more of a claim, as he prompt his chin against his palm, his elbow resting on one of his folded arms, with eyes as green as the falling leaves above them—every leaf tapped the ground, for every second, the sound of the warm breeze only to be heard—glimmering purely in question and in anticipation.

Sou's expression was surprisingly taken aback, and blinked a couple of times at the sudden suggestion.

“Oh dear Kiryu-kun.” Despite his furrowed brows, he kept a smile intact. “I can't really say. I have acquaintances, but I don't think I'm the type that girls would like.”

“Sou-chan, you're definitely the type of guy girls would like.”

“My, my, I think it's time to head back to the others.” Sou smiled innocently, though Kiryu had second-thoughts.

“That would be their first mistake.”

...

“Then, how about bo—ack!”

Kiryu figured the conversation about Sou and girls was a dead topic, as well as another. Luckily he's smart, he knows the time when to respectfully zip his mouth shut.

“Uh, okay.” Kiryu replied compliantly (against his will and his injured state) as he was lifted off his feet, currently being carried toward the group’s meet-up place, his back and legs being supported by Sou's secure and admittedly firm arms.

Silence took over the scene for a couple of minutes when Kiryu's phone vibrated and a ping sound notified. Although his sleeves covered half his palm, he was able to put a good hold on his personal device to see the new messages in their class group chat. Letting it lean a bit to the side for Sou to see.

TAMON TEAM FIRST YEARS (35)

10:33 AM

AKIHIKO NIREI

Hello everyone, our side is clear!

MITSUKI KIRYU

Samesies!

TAIGA TSUGEURA

Good job everybody!

AKIHIKO NIREI

Sent a GIF (Good job!👏🐻)

MITSUKI KIRYU

Sent a GIF (👍🐰👍)

TAIGA TSUGEURA

Let's grab a bite at Muscle Power after this! :D

MASAKI ANZAI

Pass

JUNPEI KURITA

Pass

YURI KAKIUCHI

Pass

TSUKASA TAKANASHI

I have a date with my girlfriend later

TAIGA TSUGEURA

You're all busy???

SAKURA HARUKA

WHY ARE YALL TALKIN HERE WHEN WERE RIGHT BESIDE EACH OTHER

SAKURA HARUKA

ALSO SOU AND KIRYU WHATS TAKING YOU SO LONG?

AKIHIKO NIREI

Sorry guys, he's really hungry for Pothos omurice (⁠;⁠ŏ⁠﹏⁠ŏ⁠)

SAKURA HARUKA

NO IM NOT

YURI KAKIUCHI

Dude do you only talk in caps or you just don't know how to turn it off?

Kiryu chuckled at his classmates usual antics.

“Aren’t they quite chummy.” Sou could only give a fond hum sounding pleased at the, seemingly, ever growing bond of their class.

The pink head motioned their finger, pressing a button and afterwards raising it above their heads.

“Sou-chan, smile!” Kiryu prolonged his words while adjusting his camera in the right position for a selfie, posing with a peace sign. And as said so, Sou followed.

Snap.

The two Bofurin students stared at each other for a second, and stifled a laugh for what's about to come next.

TAMON TEAM FIRST YEARS (35)

10:46 AM

MITSUKI AKIHIKO

You can go to Kotoha-chan’s

first Sakura-chan

Sent an image

Cuz I'm already full of your bf😘

YURI KAKIUCHI

SJDJDKDKNWHEEZE

MASAKI ANZAI

Ouch😢

JUNPEI KURITA

WTH LMAO

TAIGA TSUGEURA

Oh😲 how sweet

AKIHIKO NIREI

Omg😭😭😭

TSUKASA TAKANASHI

Damn you're gonna let him steal your man Sakura?

KYOTARO SUGISHITA

no bitches

SAKURA HARUKA

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

#wind breaker #wbk #satoru nii #mitsuki kiryu #hayato suo #platonic #friends being friends #fanfic

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chairteeth · 8 months

Text

Nemu's life as a wheelchair user and how terrible f4 is at portraying it (or, well, Not portraying it)

Buckle up I have a list of PointsTM. I will be going into Japan's history with disability as well as what life is like on a wheelchair.

First though, because I want this to have the intended effect, I recommend going over Nemu's swimsuit costume story again. It is Very Relevant. I recommend you enjoy the fluff of it too, before I dump the depressing thing about it on you. Though I will say I really REALLY appreciate how far Touka always goes to make Nemu feel comfortable and supported and listened to and cared for in every situation and- is shot.

So, apparently this room has a big mirror, and Nemu gets uncharacteristically giddy and we get this scene that Will hurt you. She even says that she finds this just as important as the liberation plan.

They had ALL OF THE SETUP, ALL OF IT. And now I would like to also share a recent analysis of Nemu's wheelchair that I dragged some wheelchair users to do, then I'll start thrashing and yelling about the significance of such a change. For reference we mainly have the sprite right:

I'm going to provide the relevant texts directly for you:

no theres like zero leg support beyond the foot plate and even the way the foot plate is designed implies that she has pretty good motor control over her legs

ya no calf pads or anyting smh

and whats with the armrests those dont look v comfy??

i doubt she needs much body support beyond the walking there's proper cushioning elsewhere, though

I can't see a headrest either, and the backrest is not very high, so I'm pretty sure she just can't walk and everything else is largely fine

Me:

it's a separate continuity, but in the anime Nemu can stand. We don't see her walking but we see her standing a few times, and some of them are at points where she has to have walked at least a little bit, so I definitely think it's not "100% can't walk" but rather something more complex. Even before she was a magical girl we saw her standing in the hospital, though you could argue that was before whatever anime illness she has got worse

huh. that sounds like chronically ill person energy conservation to me at least in the anime. me and (name omitted) do that, were usually on our wheelchairs because a walk to the grocery store may be too much and we might keel over from the pain or exhaustion. what about the game?

Me:

I don't think she can walk at all in the game? The times she's not in her wheelchair, someone is carrying her, iirc. I told you that the cause of it was her shaving away her life force repeatedly, and I've explained the other symptoms, but truth be told, we don't see those other symptoms again post Arc 1 (which I think is just because she's under less stress and not constantly shaving away the aforementioned life force), and we were sadly robbed of any kind of "discovery" scene where we get her actual reaction and yk, her assessing the permanent damage done to her body?

Me:

I told you guys how soul gems work as essentially the girl's soul puppetting her body, right? My personal theory is that she did so much damage to herself that it significantly weakened part of the soul gem-body connection. I thought it may have been severed, but if that were the case, I'm pretty sure her legs would just rot off, since magical girl bodies rot when separated from their soul gems for too long iirc, plus she can feel temperature on them so

WHY DIDNT YOU TELL US ABOUT THE TEMPERATURE THING

Me:

I'M SORRY IT'S AN OBSCURE ASSUMPTION BASED ON A QUOTE OR TWO ABOUT A FUCKING KOTATSU, THEY NEVER FUCKING TALK ABOUT THE DETAILS OF THE LEG THING, I WAS TRYING TO STICK AS CLOSE TO THE TEXT AS POSSIBLE

Me:

she's also never complained about pain from her legs, she's lamented the whole being unable to walk once or twice ("this body of mine can't help in any significant way") but never said a word about pain or other complications. Granted, she's also a people pleaser who would rather put on a stoic face than mildly inconvenience literally anyone

yea then it might just be she cant do the walking motions reliably. didnt you say she has an overprotective gf? The gf may have argued for the wheelchair thing to be on the safe side

mmmmmmmmmm ye sounds about right

They also talked a bit about control pads and wheels but this was the summary one of them gave me:

So in short, Nahi: mobility and feeling all good, but no walkies or will fall on face and fracture skull

That's the analysis and conclusion of that part, which will help discuss the next one. Now, first of all... I have complained MANY TIMES about our lack of any scene where this permanent damage is revealed to the characters. They skipped over that. Which I thought, oh, okay, maybe we'll get it in a costume story for the wheelchair sprite. We did not get that! And that's important. Because see, Nemu I think might be able to hide her initial raw reaction depending on who was in the room with her. If she was alone or (preferably and probably likeliest) with Touka, she might not hide it, but it has to have sunk in that she would be dead to her family again. And for a character who so desperately wanted to fit in with her family, go camping with them, and presumably do all the outdoorsy and sporty stuff with them, YEAH, A SCENE LIKE THAT WOULD BE NEEDED, especially because Nemu has the tendency to both self-flagellate excessively (Touka also does this) and to hide all of her feelings and suppress them as hard as humanly possible.

With that out of the way, I am going to go on my certified rant about living in a wheelchair. Let's start at the general inaccessibility of Japan. Nemu's wheelchair isn't exactly... compact or foldable from what I can tell so that doesn't help her in the least. Here is a non-exhaustive list of things to consider:

- Less maneuverability or no access at all in some places, such as hotel rooms, restaurants, and stores

- Way longer wait times for nearly everything

- The temples are shitty to access because 90% of them have The Stairs, and the parks surrounding them have gravel grounds that make it almost impossible to run a wheelchair through (or at least, it's really hard. Think of when Sakurako had to carry Nemu on the beach, sand/sand-like ground and wheelchairs most often do not mesh, especially electric ones)

- The general congestion of large cities is not good but at least Japanese people tend to be nice and polite about it and try not to bother/touch wheelchair users, however this is unavoidable and oh boy haha rush hour

- In the end a wheelchair user in Japan is pretty limited in what they can do if not accompanied, which absolutely sucks

Streets are often narrow too so gestures at list. Plenty of buildings, especially old ones, are never really upgraded/don't have ramps or accessible elevators either, and I have literally seen a Japanese building that needed you to climb seven steps to get into the elevator?? Okay, alright, I will try not to bitch too hard. If using Yokohama as a base, the thing with large cities is that actually, the subway and train networks are generally good for wheelchair users (though they have to take extra steps and a trip that would take an able-bodied person one hour may take the wheelchair user double that amount of time, plus the station staff will choose your train for you). Everything else however, not so nice, and again The Stairs.

Now I go on the funny historical tangent! Around the 1960s in Japan, there was an increase in disabled children being separated from their families and placed in residential institutions, many of which were converted from the ones built for disabled veterans after WW2. At the age of 18, many of these children were then transferred to adult facilities where they would remain until death. As you may be able to imagine, these institutions were not great! Cue many many MANY human rights violations, including child residents being used as guinea pigs for their doctors in surgical procedures and disgusting amounts of incidents of sexual abuse towards female residents. The traditional Japanese notion that disabled people should be hidden by their families like a shameful secret was veeeeery prevalent! That is why these places even existed. Those beliefs are, Still ShiftingTM so to speak but it is much better now because hey at least they finally have an anti-discrimination law. By "finally" I mean that ten years ago they did not have one. You see, the literal basic anti-discrimination act for people with disabilities in Japan only came into effect in 2016 (for the reference of the Americans who may not know and for an easy example, in the US, the same thing happened in 1990, which is still recent-ish but not, "less than ten years ago" recent). That's only eight years ago. So let's not even talk about how VERY highly Not Possible a fully wheelchair-adapted/comfortable home would be in Japan. It ain't great chief, basic programs are still being implemented, and I highly doubt people are very widely educated on the matter unless it affects them personally. I think that is most of the funny historical tangent, so... time for me to talk about adapting to life on a wheelchair.

Let's start with showering and bath/general bathroom difficulties. First of all, it's MUCH likelier for a person in Nemu's position to slip and hurt themselves in the shower/bath, not even likely to be able to stop their own fall because Legs No Worky, secondly washing up unassisted when you're in a wheelchair both takes longer and is difficult/inconvenient, particularly if you don't have a specific chair or other thing to help you in the tub/shower (I am unsure if her family would be agreeable to this or if she'd even ask). For Nemu's benefit we are going to go with my interpretation that magical girls do not have periods, because otherwise oh dear god well that's way worse! But yes there's that whole complication and see, if you live with your family you have people you can ask for help. However we are talking about Nemu, and Nemu would rather starve under a bridge than ask for help (in 99% of cases). We have a section for internal effects of leg loss don't you worry but like, girl already felt like a burden before, imagine how she feels now when she actually does have to depend on others occasionally. Showering/bathing must be an absolute nightmare every single day for the poor girl. You don't realize how much you rely on walking and having usable legs inside the house until you lose that ability.

This leads me into another very funny thing: reach. Imagine having short person struggles. Okay, now imagine your height is cut in half and you have to be sitting down for everything. Who wants to bet you are now unable to reach A LOT of the things at home? Bathroom setups vary so that one you can circumvent, however! Consider the following: Nemu displays an enjoyment of cooking. Have you ever tried to sit down in front of most kitchen counters? They are pretty high up from that position. Which is fine when you're maybe just resting on the chair but can stand up/take steps around, but when you can't... well. Cooking just got a whole lot more inconvenient and complicated! Nemu seems to keep doing it, so I imagine she's figured out the kitchen table hack (kitchen tables are often lower than the counters and therefore often used to do the prep work instead of the counter because it's more comfortable). This still does not account for the stove but we haven't heard of Arc 2 Nemu cooking solo, only either with her mom or Sakurako, so I assume Nemu's family has the decency not to send her to make dinner like they do in Arc 1.

On the topic of short reach, have you ever realized how inconvenient doorknobs can be if you're sitting down? And doors in general when it's not so easy to move, really. This is more the case for those with less grip strength or less mobility than Nemu, but doorknobs are still generally placed high enough to be inconvenient, doors depending on how they open can be annoying (though sliding doors I've heard are better, so long as they're not too heavy), and let's not even talk about the heavy-ish doors that you have to push against. Because while that might be easy outside of a wheelchair... not so much on a wheelchair. The inconvenience of doors and doorknobs aside though, and back to public transport for a second, you cannot be spontaneous. According to a couple of Japanese wheelchair users I gnawed at for the purpose of research, you need to warn literally everyone at least 30 minutes in advance if you want to be able to board a train. If something comes up or is urgent, I assure you, you won't be able to hop on whatever train or taxi you want.

For Nemu in particular taxis may not be possible, but f4 ignores this really hard (like most things that have to do with Nemu's disability, given that it is acknowledged as a thing that exists LIKE TWICE after the initial timeskip scene at the end of Arc 1, mainly in Christmas string where she laments not being able to help with physical labor in any significant way due to "This Body Of Mine" [she's very dramatic about it but also this is an important hint to how she actually feels now that she's experienced at the very least months of living like this and now that she's alone with Touka instead of self-flagellating in public]). In Mokyu's MGS, I remember that moment when Touka calls for a taxi very much On The Spot and they both get on to follow Mokyu, seemingly very fast, and I was just like "????". I'm not really sure that's... a thing they can do that easily, f4...

But anyway, how about another item? Let's talk clothing. This is also not something able-bodied people usually consider or think about, but clothing generally was not designed for sitting. It will likely never fit right for wheelchair users, and many pieces of clothing may not even be comfortable, not to mention they may not be able to wear a lot of things (such as long/drapey fabrics that could interfere with movement, whether of the wheels, the control pad, or their bodies), and depending on how much mobility they have, changing itself can be another nightmare to do unassisted, or at least, it takes longer and takes more effort (we will get back to the "effort" part soon). This depends, sure, but it's often worse for kids and teenagers because they're still growing. It's okay though, I'm sure Touka would be really offended about this and would just take Nemu to get clothing custom made. What a good partner. The clothing issue is often overlooked, but Very Much A Thing. Some pants are not comfy to sit in for long periods of time, or maybe they fit well when you're standing but not when you're sitting... imagine only ever sitting.

I think I've made my point with the clothing aspect so let's move on to ANOTHER THING! Yes, I have more. Some things like transferring may be more inconvenient in Japan than they would be in the West. Transferring, in case you're not aware, is what a wheelchair user moving themselves from their wheelchair to another place to sit (such as a dining table chair, if they want, or a sofa), or back to the wheelchair, is called. It may be more inconvenient in Japan because well, The Floor. Transferring largely relies on upper body strength in most cases, and see, you can park a wheelchair next to a sofa or other chair and move yourself there reeelatively easily, but the floor may be a bit harder due to the difference in elevation from surface to surface. Once again, it depends on the specifics of the wheelchair user in question, overall. I've heard a couple of people say that the floor is Very Bad to transfer to and from, but one of them has mobility issues in the upper body and the other has arm weakness (he can only get back up because he's able to push a little bit with his legs).

For Nemu there's also the possible school complications, but I have not looked much into how accessible Japanese schools are for students on wheelchairs, though I do want to call a bit of attention to how we've seen Touka at school in Arc 2 but never Nemu, and I feel like that might be one of the reasons. Studying from home I suppose could be an option, though it would be iffy to me because of the whole part about being stuck inside and hidden away.

Before I move on to other things, let me. Talk about this other thing. That is specifically heartbreaking for Nemu. That being physical intimacy (we're talking hugs and the like, people, don't get ahead of yourselves). Quick quiz question for you to think about before I answer it, have you ever thought of how to comfortably hug a wheelchair user?

Normally, when put on the spot, the typical able-bodied person who has never thought about it says that well, you can just bend over to hug them! And while that kind of works, that is not exactly a "full hug" and also requires more effort and more Going Out Of Your Way on the able-bodied person's part than a hug to an able-bodied person that you can just easily walk up to and hug without any adjustment, which makes it less likely that the wheelchair user will get casual affection through that. A common one is the hug from the back, which works just like you'd do it for any sitting person, however the hug from the back is not exactly common and depends on how close the two people are. And then there's the other main way to do it, if it doesn't hurt for the wheelchair user. Which is the lap hug. Able-bodied person sits on the wheelchair user's lap and that is how the hug happens. Most wheelchairs should be able to bear the weight, since you have to account for things like carrying groceries or Other Stuff already, so the capacity to bear weight is built-in (some wheelchairs can carry up to 700lbs/317kg). However you will notice that a lap hug is a significant leap in intimacy that not that many people might be comfortable with, particularly in a less touchy culture like Japan. Personally I think Touka is princess enough, has enough of an ego, and enough of a bond/trust with Nemu that she'd have no qualms sitting on her lap, but Yeah. Holding hands is another one that may take a while to adjust to, since it's basically a MASSIVE height difference that you can't bridge, and also walking-walking vs walking-rolling (or whichever verb you prefer for wheelchair users) areeee different let's just say and speed adjustment can also be a bitch

What I'm saying is if poor Nemu was already affection deprived before, It Got Worse. I will touch on this more when I talk about the social consequences losing her legs must've had. To sum this all up so far, it's an entire reevaluation of the world you live in. Things that were once convenient are now inconvenient, or at best, don't help you anymore. People are often stumped as to what to say to you or what to do or how to act around you, especially if you bring up any and all struggles that have to do with the wheelchair thing. It's not Nemu's case but if she had a friend group, that would also mean possible distancing from them due to being unable to do as many activities with them or go to the same places as before. The world is built for the able-bodied, and the effort it takes to just navigate life in a wheelchair can be extremely draining. And SPEAKING OF EFFORT, it is time for the spoon theory! Those of you already familiar with it may skip this part, as I'm simply going to copy and paste from the original creator of the spoon theory, but for anyone who has never heard of the spoon theory, please, do read this part. It may help you understand something extremely important for the daily lives of so many people, and it may even give some of you who the spoon theory does apply to a new tool to use. This is the spoon theory:

My best friend and I were in the diner, talking. As usual, it was very late and we were eating French fries with gravy. Like normal girls our age, we spent a lot of time in the diner while in college, and most of the time we spent talking about boys, music or trivial things, that seemed very important at the time. We never got serious about anything in particular and spent most of our time laughing.

As I went to take some of my medicine with a snack as I usually did, she watched me with an awkward kind of stare, instead of continuing the conversation. She then asked me out of the blue what it felt like to have Lupus and be sick. I was shocked not only because she asked the random question, but also because I assumed she knew all there was to know about Lupus. She came to doctors with me, she saw me walk with a cane, and throw up in the bathroom. She had seen me cry in pain, what else was there to know?

I started to ramble on about pills, and aches and pains, but she kept pursuing, and didn’t seem satisfied with my answers. I was a little surprised as being my roommate in college and friend for years; I thought she already knew the medical definition of Lupus. Then she looked at me with a face every sick person knows well, the face of pure curiosity about something no one healthy can truly understand. She asked what it felt like, not physically, but what it felt like to be me, to be sick.

As I tried to gain my composure, I glanced around the table for help or guidance, or at least stall for time to think. I was trying to find the right words. How do I answer a question I never was able to answer for myself? How do I explain every detail of every day being effected, and give the emotions a sick person goes through with clarity. I could have given up, cracked a joke like I usually do, and changed the subject, but I remember thinking if I don’t try to explain this, how could I ever expect her to understand. If I can’t explain this to my best friend, how could I explain my world to anyone else? I had to at least try.

At that moment, the spoon theory was born. I quickly grabbed every spoon on the table; hell I grabbed spoons off of the other tables. I looked at her in the eyes and said “Here you go, you have Lupus”. She looked at me slightly confused, as anyone would when they are being handed a bouquet of spoons. The cold metal spoons clanked in my hands, as I grouped them together and shoved them into her hands.

I explained that the difference in being sick and being healthy is having to make choices or to consciously think about things when the rest of the world doesn’t have to. The healthy have the luxury of a life without choices, a gift most people take for granted.

Most people start the day with unlimited amount of possibilities, and energy to do whatever they desire, especially young people. For the most part, they do not need to worry about the effects of their actions. So for my explanation, I used spoons to convey this point. I wanted something for her to actually hold, for me to then take away, since most people who get sick feel a “loss” of a life they once knew. If I was in control of taking away the spoons, then she would know what it feels like to have someone or something else, in this case Lupus, being in control.

She grabbed the spoons with excitement. She didn’t understand what I was doing, but she is always up for a good time, so I guess she thought I was cracking a joke of some kind like I usually do when talking about touchy topics. Little did she know how serious I would become.

I asked her to count her spoons. She asked why, and I explained that when you are healthy you expect to have a never-ending supply of “spoons”. But when you have to now plan your day, you need to know exactly how many “spoons” you are starting with. It doesn’t guarantee that you might not lose some along the way, but at least it helps to know where you are starting. She counted out 12 spoons. She laughed and said she wanted more. I said no, and I knew right away that this little game would work, when she looked disappointed, and we hadn’t even started yet. I’ve wanted more “spoons” for years and haven’t found a way yet to get more, why should she? I also told her to always be conscious of how many she had, and not to drop them because she can never forget she has Lupus.

I asked her to list off the tasks of her day, including the most simple. As, she rattled off daily chores, or just fun things to do; I explained how each one would cost her a spoon. When she jumped right into getting ready for work as her first task of the morning, I cut her off and took away a spoon. I practically jumped down her throat. I said ” No! You don’t just get up. You have to crack open your eyes, and then realize you are late. You didn’t sleep well the night before. You have to crawl out of bed, and then you have to make your self something to eat before you can do anything else, because if you don’t, you can’t take your medicine, and if you don’t take your medicine you might as well give up all your spoons for today and tomorrow too.” I quickly took away a spoon and she realized she hasn’t even gotten dressed yet. Showering cost her spoon, just for washing her hair and shaving her legs. Reaching high and low that early in the morning could actually cost more than one spoon, but I figured I would give her a break; I didn’t want to scare her right away. Getting dressed was worth another spoon. I stopped her and broke down every task to show her how every little detail needs to be thought about. You cannot simply just throw clothes on when you are sick. I explained that I have to see what clothes I can physically put on, if my hands hurt that day buttons are out of the question. If I have bruises that day, I need to wear long sleeves, and if I have a fever I need a sweater to stay warm and so on. If my hair is falling out I need to spend more time to look presentable, and then you need to factor in another 5 minutes for feeling badly that it took you 2 hours to do all this.

I think she was starting to understand when she theoretically didn’t even get to work, and she was left with 6 spoons. I then explained to her that she needed to choose the rest of her day wisely, since when your “spoons” are gone, they are gone. Sometimes you can borrow against tomorrow’s “spoons”, but just think how hard tomorrow will be with less “spoons”. I also needed to explain that a person who is sick always lives with the looming thought that tomorrow may be the day that a cold comes, or an infection, or any number of things that could be very dangerous. So you do not want to run low on “spoons”, because you never know when you truly will need them. I didn’t want to depress her, but I needed to be realistic, and unfortunately being prepared for the worst is part of a real day for me.

We went through the rest of the day, and she slowly learned that skipping lunch would cost her a spoon, as well as standing on a train, or even typing at her computer too long. She was forced to make choices and think about things differently. Hypothetically, she had to choose not to run errands, so that she could eat dinner that night.

When we got to the end of her pretend day, she said she was hungry. I summarized that she had to eat dinner but she only had one spoon left. If she cooked, she wouldn’t have enough energy to clean the pots. If she went out for dinner, she might be too tired to drive home safely. Then I also explained, that I didn’t even bother to add into this game, that she was so nauseous, that cooking was probably out of the question anyway. So she decided to make soup, it was easy. I then said it is only 7pm, you have the rest of the night but maybe end up with one spoon, so you can do something fun, or clean your apartment, or do chores, but you can’t do it all.

I rarely see her emotional, so when I saw her upset I knew maybe I was getting through to her. I didn’t want my friend to be upset, but at the same time I was happy to think finally maybe someone understood me a little bit. She had tears in her eyes and asked quietly “Christine, How do you do it? Do you really do this everyday?” I explained that some days were worse then others; some days I have more spoons then most. But I can never make it go away and I can’t forget about it, I always have to think about it. I handed her a spoon I had been holding in reserve. I said simply, “I have learned to live life with an extra spoon in my pocket, in reserve. You need to always be prepared.”

It's hard, the hardest thing I ever had to learn is to slow down, and not do everything. I fight this to this day. I hate feeling left out, having to choose to stay home, or to not get things done that I want to. I wanted her to feel that frustration. I wanted her to understand, that everything everyone else does comes so easy, but for me it is one hundred little jobs in one. I need to think about the weather, my temperature that day, and the whole day’s plans before I can attack any one given thing. When other people can simply do things, I have to attack it and make a plan like I am strategizing a war. It is in that lifestyle, the difference between being sick and healthy. It is the beautiful ability to not think and just do. I miss that freedom. I miss never having to count “spoons”.

After we were emotional and talked about this for a little while longer, I sensed she was sad. Maybe she finally understood. Maybe she realized that she never could truly and honestly say she understands. But at least now she might not complain so much when I can’t go out for dinner some nights, or when I never seem to make it to her house and she always has to drive to mine. I gave her a hug when we walked out of the diner. I had the one spoon in my hand and I said “Don’t worry. I see this as a blessing. I have been forced to think about everything I do. Do you know how many spoons people waste everyday? I don’t have room for wasted time, or wasted “spoons” and I chose to spend this time with you.”

Ever since this night, I have used the spoon theory to explain my life to many people. In fact, my family and friends refer to spoons all the time. It has been a code word for what I can and cannot do. Once people understand the spoon theory they seem to understand me better, but I also think they live their life a little differently too. I think it isn’t just good for understanding Lupus, but anyone dealing with any disability or illness. Hopefully, they don’t take so much for granted or their life in general. I give a piece of myself, in every sense of the word when I do anything. It has become an inside joke. I have become famous for saying to people jokingly that they should feel special when I spend time with them, because they have one of my “spoons”.

And that folks is the spoon theory. The spoon theory of course applies to wheelchair users. In Nemu's case it's more of a magical affliction and doesn't seem to affect her beyond the part about not being able to walk, however, as we've covered, that part is significant. It takes a mental, physical, and emotional toll. Then, other than this whole thing, there's issues with agency and independence. Yk, being able to live unassisted. I think Nemu could mostly handle it because I mean it's all she's ever done (insert parentification issues and her basically having raised herself, etc etc). Now here is a fun topic. How about social consequences? They are in fact significant as well! We just don't see it as much because Nemu's social life generally starts and ends at Touka, who is arguably the best-equipped person for this. You can bet Touka pulled three all-nighters to do research on this the moment she realized Nemu was not going to recover or at least not in the near future, and we already know she's extremely attentive from what we saw in Arc 1, so. Literally the best possible person for Nemu to hang out with, who will also never try to encroach on her decision-making or her boundaries, never try to take freedom or agency away from her, etc. Unfortunately there are more people around Nemu who may not handle it as gracefully (or well. Whatever Touka is doing. Her stunted social skills are actually a good thing when it comes to this).

Let's go from worst to better: Nemu's family. They are literally not mentioned again after Arc 1's final battle, ever. Not even when Chapter 8 happens. Not at all, zero mentions, at least none as far as I know. Which is concerning. Nemu still speaks fondly of them in Arc 2, from the Christmas quotes, but I mean. Desperate for love. Desperately learning her family's favorite foods and colors, fretting over what gift to get her brother. Which is just extra sad knowing that she's probably dead to them (again). I don't think it's a stretch to say that Nemu's family would have ZERO CLUE how to handle the entire topic. Common reactions are either avoidance/pretending it's not there, or severe awkwardness and hesitation that there is no way the wheelchair user won't notice. Particularly if they're a very perceptive person who pays close attention to the people around them (Nemu). I think Nemu's family might be the avoidance type, since they're allergic to making any effort to get to know her or yk treat her as their daughter instead of, parentifying her to hell and back at best. But let's take another couple of examples: Iroha and Ui.

I think those two might be the awkwardness type. Which is, "I have never encountered this problem and I'm not sure how to go about it but I don't want to hurt or offend this person" and normally leads to general insecurity/anxiety about mentioning specific things around the wheelchair user, or inviting them to things, or assigning tasks to them because the person fears they might hurt themselves/be unable to do what you asked, feel worse, etc. It can manifest in many ways and is normally born out of politeness or genuine personal concern for the other, but alas wheelchair users are not (all) blind, so they do very much notice. On their side it's also awkward and hurtful, in most cases. It's bad too when they get condescended or infantilized or as I mentioned before people take their agency away. It's that thing where you assume the wheelchair user needs help for (insert task) and that you're just being nice by lending them a hand but hey, hey. Maybe ask instead of assuming and moving to do a thing for them that you don't know with 100% is something they need help with. Maybe they don't actually need your help (cough savior/hero complex) and I assure you they appreciate being able to do whatever they can by themselves. Yes, it's well-meaning, but that doesn't mean it won't hurt the wheelchair user or make them feel bad/worse about themselves. The infantilization thing is often related to this too.

Next and last, the inner consequences of a significant loss such as this one. This part is about self-perception, perception in regards to the world and to others, and obviously it ties into Nemu's previously established concerns, fears, and general IssuesTM. This is another "sigh where to begin!" moment for me, because as I have established before, Nemu has major issues. Take literally every issue Nemu has ever had and them pump them full of steroids, then assume that bits of those issues drop off the bigger issue blob and grow into new connected issues. That is what this caused. There is of course a fun set of new issues that relate to the old ones but aren't fully connected as well. That being the feeling of being broken, incomplete, defective. For a person like Nemu whose worth is in considerable part determined by how useful she can be to others, that's not good. She's very much the type to keep things in rather than express them, except the precious scarce few times when we see her alone with Touka (you'll notice that usually we don't get scenes of them alone together save for Christmas String where there was A Pressing Issue to solve, normally it's the rest of the cast going to them for something so it's not exactly the correct atmosphere or moment for a vulnerability moment, Nemu has them, we see some, but they are Very Few).

The one comment from when she and Touka were moving their books out of Touka's private room in the hospital (still real gay of Touka to casually of her own will give Nemu a permanent space in her private room just so she could store her books), the one where she gets all droopy about being unable to help with the whole book moving process? Yeah that's your confirmation that as suspected, yes, she was lying when she said "this is fine" at the end of Arc 1. This is not by any means fine. Sure she has accepted it and thinks she deserves it but this is Nemu "I am to blame for damaging the economy of Japan" Hiiragi (I have a screenshot of when she said this) so like gestures vaguely. By that point in Christmas String, as I said before, she's probably been on a wheelchair for months at the very least, so she's had a chance to experience what that's like, among other things. I can't imagine she feels great about it. While simultaneously thinking her intestines should be bundled up with a pitchfork every day at noon for her sins, of course (insert aforementioned self-flagellation issues). Because she blames herself for literally everything and likely also blames herself every single time her inability to walk leaves her unable to do something she could've done before, and may even push herself beyond what's safe and healthy for her at times. Therefore, internally, yeah, Nemu is way worse than before. FORTUNATELY the stress of the Magius and the physical strain from making uwasa are no longer a thing and she has a safe place to be in every day with her partner who understands and loves her and doesn't even think of any adjustments as "effort" (of course this is nothing for Touka, she's a genius, I can hear the Toukitty saying with her nose up in the air like that). So that is, one good thing. And she can likely read more easily.

Unfortunately, Arc 2 also brings stress and more guilt due to the factions. There's the NM guilt and the PB guilt mainly, but also the stress of the few people they care about besides each other (such as Ui and Iroha) being in mortal danger. And what bothers me is, the way this entire thing affects and stimulates Nemu's concerns and fears from before is so criminally overlooked and outright ignored? We saw from her quotes and personal memo that she desperately wants to be loved, desperately wants to not be forgotten, and to leave behind a legacy (this is about the being forgotten part too). A common issue for wheelchair users is, in fact, that they are neglected and forgotten about, often only an afterthought, particularly for the administration. And so it annoys me endlessly that f4 are allergic to handling their disabled main cast member whatsoever and neglect her in much the same way her family does.

Anyway, this isn't exhaustive, there's definitely more to unpack, but it's already very long and I thank everyone who has read this far for your time. I hope it helped you guys understand at least a little bit better.

#magia record #nishiposting #essay #nemu hiiragi

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spagheddiesquash · 3 months

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so today i was in the mw oc server talking abt some stuff i noticed about jawbone (+ some other theory stuff as well!!)

so first of all. two kind of obvious details:

he is green (“yeah no shit sherlock” i hear u thinking. trust me there is a reason why im pointing it out)

his pupils are triangular. nobody else in the show so far has had triangular pupils. (well. i mean commander tezzoree’s eye has a triangular pupil but she hasnt made an appearance in any episodes yet and i doubt the two characters are connected)

just making this point known for now. we will hold this thought for later in the post.

another thing: so in the ref sheet of him posted to the mw tumblr back in september i believe(?), his name is written as “jawbone (a.k.a. scythelord)”

you know where a character by the name of “scythelord” has shown up already?

on a wanted poster, thats where!! he has a bounty on his head!!!

which means that tyneen and her crew are probably after him, which probably explains why they’re at the thicc chicc casino. (how do i know jawbone is there? because ricket is there, which i know because he is shown interacting with both shrike and tyneen, who we know are both there)

now. remember that thought from earlier that i told you to hold until later? now is the time to bring it back.

ok so. we already know that colors and shapes each have their own respective significance in this show, and colors and shapes are chosen deliberately.

with that said:

correlation?? maybe???

ADDITIONALLY:

this further cements my belief that ep 4 will have a LOT in it regarding the cataclysm or some other related thing. why?

(2nd pic comes from the VA application doc. unfortunately i dont have any better quality pics of it)

despite the poor image quality in the second pic, you can still tell that both of these characters have some sort of magenta (or pink i guess?) type of theming going on in their designs.

also if we look at campions, like, the flower

you can see where im trying to go with this idea.

i did a whole bunch of examining colors today in light of this, actually!!! quick fun fact for those unaware: RGB and CMYK invert into each other.

and then after i made that image i started sorting things into what colors they are. (white and black have been omitted from the screenshots simply because there doesnt seem to be any significant things tied to them)

obviously this list is probably incomplete and i will continue to add to it, of course.

(my main inspo for even thinking about CMYK for theories in the first place was @toastedclownery btw!! GO CHECK OUT THEIR BLOG IF U HAVENT ALREADY THERES SO MANY COOL THEORY POSTS THERE!!)

one final not-as-relevant theory that’s really more of a prediction: i really think joel vargskelethor is gonna be in this upcoming episode, whether it’s in whole or in part. i mean, he already voiced the duende in ep 3, so it’s not like its impossible or anything. also “scythelord” happens to be the name of joel’s band as well (which you should DEFINITELY check out if ur into metal!!!!! absolutely amazing stuff) OH OH AAAAAAND

id like to direct your attention to the title of this update, which is “the bone zone,” which i believe to be a skeleton metal reference.

also jawbone/scythelord has the little sweden viking helmet thing on the wanted poster. AND HES GREEN! LIKE FREN!!

for those who dont know, this is fren (also known as vargfren i think)

so yeah. these evidence pieces combined with the fact that zeurel has made dozens of “vargskelethor animated” videos (which is how i got into zeurel’s animations in the first place actually!!) are what led me to make this prediction.

anyway, i hope you guys liked this theory post. it’s not an update on the web, but i figured id try doing something new. though, if youd like to see the web, here’s a view of the full thing currently:

but yea thats all i really had. ill reblog with some additions if i think of anything else. bye for now!!! :^D

#monkey wrench #monkey wrench theory #monkey wrench spoilers #<- actually i dont think there are any here?? tagging just in case tho

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marshallpupfan · 2 months

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Did you used to have any other favorite shows before Paw Patrol and before Marshall became your number 1 favorite animated character, did you used to have any other favorite characters from any other TV show or movie?

I can certainly name a few favorite TV shows of mine from over the years. Some of these are pretty old nowadays, but I believe they can still be found on streaming services and whatnot.

One that comes to mind right away is "Looney Tunes". The originals, not the newer stuff like "The Looney Tunes Show" or the modern "Looney Tunes Cartoons". These were made back in the 30's, 40's and 50's, and though they released in theaters first, it might as well be considered a TV show nowadays.

In any case, I've been a huge fan of these shorts for as long as I can remember. In fact, I still watch them quite often to this day! Most of them are classics, with a wide variety of wonderful characters, memorable plots, delightful cartoon slapstick and violence, among other things. I don't think I'll ever outgrow them... heck, even my own parents still watch them (we often watch them together, actually).

Here's another I used to watch a ton a long time ago. It's an anime from 2001 called "Digimon Tamers". I practically fell in love with this one as a kid, and I remembered even trying to record every single episode to make sure I'd always have it. One reason behind this is... well, someone I'll talk about later on in this post. Beyond that, I just found the overall story really interesting, especially when compared to the previous two ("Adventure" and "Adventure 02"). It had memorable characters, too. It was just really good all around!

I'll admit, I'm not much for superhero stuff, but Justice League, and its sequel, Justice League: Unlimited, were both so entertaining. I haven't seen the show in numerous years, yet I still think about most of its episodes from time to time. They were just so memorable, thanks to smart and mature writing, numerous moments that still surprise me to this very day, etc. However, I'm not sure I can recommend it to too many of my followers here, since some of you might not like how serious it can get. Here's a good example, if anyone's curious to see what I'm talking about. If you're not bothered by this kind of stuff and/or can look past it, the whole thing's a great watch!

One last one for now, and it's finally something that's not too old! While I haven't seen every season of Regular Show, I thought the first two seasons were simply brilliant. Anyone who's seen this one no doubt remembers "send it to the moon", "summertime lovin', lovin in the summertime", "my mom", among so many other memorable lines and such. I enjoyed it so much, it's one of the few cartoons I tracked down on Blu-Ray (the first two seasons, anyway). It's crazy in all the best ways. Hm, hm, hm!

Now, as for favorite characters...

I'll admit, I've had so many over the years. In fact, at one point, I considered it somewhat of a hobby to keep track of them all and even list them on some of my social media sites (that was some time ago, on accounts unrelated to this one, and said lists no longer exist now). I won't go into all of them, but I can list quite a few!

RJ the raccoon, from Dreamworks' "Over the Hedge". He's just a fun, smooth-talking character who's quite entertaining to watch. He was really high up my list for the longest time, and while that's not so true anymore, I'm still quite the fan of him (and the movie, itself).

Impmon, from the aforementioned "Digimon Tamers". Anyone who's into Digimon certainly knows about him, and how he easily became the show's most complex character. I don't want to spoil everything, since his journey is legit great, but Impmon starts out as someone who's not so friendly, but he slowly warms up to the good guys little-by-little... until something happens that leaves him completely and utterly humiliated. With his ego smashed and desperate for power, he makes a deal with one of the villains, who grants him exactly what he wants, under the condition he goes after the heroes. Despite doing some terrible stuff, he's spared, and he ends up realizing all the horrible mistakes he's made and then tries to do his best to make up for all the harm he's caused. To be honest, my description here really doesn't do him justice, so it's really something you need to check out yourself. Most fans will happily admit it's easily a big highlight of the whole Digimon franchise.

He's arguably one of the best Digimon characters, period. His journey is memorable, and I really found myself rooting for the character and hoping he'd turn out okay in the end. Honestly, he still remains one of my biggest favorites to this day.

Bolt, from Disney's "Bolt". This isn't one of their better movies, but I still think Bolt, himself is pretty darn great... and cute, too. Much like Impmon, I just really liked his journey, from a dog who believed the TV show he starred in was real, to coming to terms with just who and what he really is. Again, I don't wish to spoil it for those who haven't seen it, but it's pretty good... and quite touching, if you ask me. Special shout out to the part when Bolt just takes in life by letting the rain drop on his face for the first time... it's easily a favorite moment of mine, and cemented just how much I came to love the character.

If you haven't seen Bolt, I certainly recommend it! And Bolt, himself... he's a pretty cool pup. A good boy, for sure.

Panchito Pistoles, a Disney character who first appeared in the 1944 animated movie "The Three Caballeros". No doubt some of you might recognize him more from the 2018 "Legend of the Three Caballeros".

There's actually not a whole lot I can say about him, in terms of any sort of character development and whatnot. Truth is, along with his excellent design, I just flat out love this wacky character. He's always so full of energy, and as such, he's just so crazy entertaining. I won't say he's one of the best Disney characters or anything, but he's someone that always gives me a big smile when he shows up.

Hokey Wolf, a character from some really old Hanna-Barbera cartoons. (He's the one on the right, btw.)

I'll admit, most folks probably haven't heard of this character. You won't see him much nowadays, and I think he's only been in the background of a few Jellystone! episodes. Despite that, he's, in my opinion, a rather memorable character, at least in the older cartoons that introduced him. Much like RJ, he's another smooth talker, which in hindsight, seems to be a trait that I like. It just makes characters like him a lot of fun to watch, especially if they can pull off whatever they'd planned. Beyond that, I also really like his design. Admittedly, I took an interest in wolves because of him, and I even thought about getting into making my own animations due to Hokey, too. The character became a bit special to me, I suppose you could say.

Going back to Looney Tunes, many of its characters became favorites of mine, too. The one on the left, Charlie Dog, is the star of some of my favorite shorts, including the one in which he goes on about how great of a dog he is because he's [apparently] numerous breeds in one (50% pointer, 50% boxer, 50% sitter... Irish sitter, 50% watch dog, 50% spits, 50% Doberman Pincher, but he's "mostly" all Labrador Retriever). He's always looking for a master, and though he can be a little too pushy, his attempts at trying to look appealing as "man's best friend" never cease to amuse me.

And then there's Bugs Bunny, who is probably the very first character I ever became a huge fan of. I just love this wascally wabbit, due to his humor, personality, characteristics, design, charm... everything! His cartoons never fail to get a good laugh out of me. Although the stuff he appears in nowadays isn't as good as those classic shorts from way back then, I still say he's easily one of the greatest cartoon characters to ever exist, period. Dude's a legend, peroid.

And I better stop here, before this post gets any longer. lol

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averseunhinged · 19 days

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HAPPY WIP WEDNESDAY

i'm locked into only working on this one fic until it's finished. it's the event horizon now and sam neill is here.

previously on this mfer:

this

then this

this

last week's

this week's

this one

then this

and finally this

“We went out tonight, kind of specifically for me to pick someone up.” She watched him for a negative reaction.

“I assumed so, yes,” he said with a chagrined little half-smile, but was otherwise unfazed.

“I thought I'd grown out of the horny phase, but I think maybe I was too stressed out to feel it. And,” she lowered her voice and scowled, pointing her finger at him, “do not use what I'm about to tell you to score points on Tyler. Seriously. This isn't a him thing; it's a me thing. It's private.”

He wrapped his hand around her finger and leaned closer, amused, but somber. “I promise.”

“The last couple of times Tyler and I were together, I couldn't…get there. It wasn't his fault. He did all the normal stuff, but I couldn't stop thinking about Stefan and Damon and Elena, and how weird she was being, and if you were going to raze the town, because she'd been turned, even though you'd just tried to kill her yourself.”

“That long ago?” Klaus remarked in surprise. “I assumed you'd asked the Bennett witch for a way to cover the scent of him.”

“I didn't know a witch could do that. Plus, she’d already saved his life. I doubt I'd have asked for more, even if I'd known to. I don't like asking Bonnie for witchy stuff,” she confessed delicately, hoping he wouldn't push for details. It was far from her favorite topic.

“I'll admit,” he said, almost to himself, “it's a balm to my pride.”

She rolled her eyes. “If you weren't having me, at least no one was?”

“If you want to be crude about it, but it's nice to know I wasn't quite as much of a patsy as I'd assumed.” He leaned back, frowning in thought. “It's unusual, but you've always been a strange case. More human than most. Perhaps, your psychological needs override the physical effects of vampirism.”

“That…makes sense,” she said reluctantly. “The guy I met at the bar. He was hot. Funny. Seemed nice enough and I really did like him. We both knew where it was going, and I just,” she shrugged and felt oddly lost, “didn't want to do it. I wanted the sex, but not the guy. So, I was sitting there with him, calculating the number of drinks it would take before I would be able to go through with it. It was so many that, if he wasn't a complete creep, he wouldn't take home a normal person who was that drunk, because vampire tipsy is human wasted. Suddenly, it all seemed so stupid. Why was I forcing myself to not sleep with the person I actually want to sleep with? Because it's too soon? I don’t even miss Tyler, and Elena's fine with it. Sort of. She has too many other things to deal with, anyway. Who I hang out with is pretty low on her list of things to be upset about.”

Caroline took a breath and looked at Klaus. His mouth was open as though he was about to speak, but he just sat there and stared at her.

“Klaus?"

"I'm attempting to unravel that."

Caroline made a helpless, little noise and slumped over like a marionette with the strings cut. She rested her forehead on her knees and wished she could rewind the whole night back to the beginning. He shifted, leaning into her, and cautiously placed the palm of his hand against her back. He felt like a hot water bottle through the thin fabric of her dress.

"Sweetheart," he cajoled, like she was a spooked animal that needed sweet-talking.

She shook her head and refused to sit up. "Can we just pretend this never happened?"

"No," he hung on the word, "I don't think we can. Believe it or not, you can be difficult to read."

She scoffed. He ran his hand up until he hit the bare skin of her upper back, and she unashamedly arched into him, encouraging the warmth of it up her neck and into her hair. When she'd been human, her scalp used to ache from stress. It wasn't possible to feel pain like that as a vampire, but the memory of it stayed with her. Sometimes, she still felt the phantom of it.

"Months ago," he began, rubbing hesitant fingers against the base of her skull, "when things were very difficult, I had a one night stand. I was only just beginning to realize how much of a mistake the search for the cure had been. My great plans of a mighty hybrid army, as well. My family was halfway to destroyed. And you...well, as they say, hindsight is 20/20, and I'd made a number of missteps in my pursuit of you. I'd been drinking, and I've always used sex as a source of comfort, amongst other things"

"I get that," she mumbled.

His fingers paused from working at the muscles around her skull. He cupped the back of her neck, stroking his thumb along the side. The span of his hand covered most of the circumference. It should have been unnerving, but there was something soothing about knowing how easily he could hurt her, but wouldn't.

"Thank you," he said as quietly as she'd spoken, and combed his fingers through her hair, careful of any snarls. "Only, I woke the next morning, hungover and more miserable than ever. Blood cleared away the cobwebs, but I remained as unhappy as I'd been the day before. I realized my previous methods of regulating my temper, my darker moods, would no longer be as effective, when what I needed was your forgiveness and to regain your good favor."

"You did pretty well. I usually hold onto a grudge tighter than that."

"Yes, being pathetic worked wonders. It wasn't particularly enjoyable, but silver linings."

Caroline sat up abruptly. Luckily, Klaus's reflexes allowed him to avoid getting bashed in the chin.

"Is that why you came back here? You could have gone anywhere." There were a thousand places Caroline would have traveled to, rather than staying in Mystic Falls, and Klaus was the one who carved that idea, the thrill of new lands and people, into her heart. She'd never given much thought to leaving the state of Virginia. Away was a place other people went, but now she couldn't help thinking of the travel shows she'd started watching and the lists of top ten whatevers she'd found online. "Like, I don't know. Greece, Argentina, Bali."

"I don't care for islands, and the witches in Greece are even more of a pain in the ass than usual. Argentina is quite scenic," he considered thoughtfully. "They have lovely horses. We'll go someday."

"You don't like islands? But you were on one a month ago and liked it fine."

"American islands hardly count; they're so close to the mainland. I once had to swim from an island in the North Atlantic to Morocco and make my way back to Spain from there. Made me lose my taste for adventuring for a century or so."

It had probably been awful, but she imagined Klaus dressed like Jack Sparrow, sucking on sharks for weeks and couldn't help laughing. "Fine. Rebekah can be my island travel buddy."

That made him laugh. "You are gravely mistaken if you think I'm allowing that to happen. Imagine what trouble the two of you would stir up."

"So, you came back here to," she drawled leadingly, "supervise me?"

He flopped back down against the arm of the couch with a gusty sigh. "You are the single most difficult woman I've ever met."

"I'm taking that as a compliment."

"I meant it as one," he replied, and then muttered, "God help me."

#klaroline wip wed #fic #THIS IS THE FIC THAT WILL NOT END #IT JUST GOES ON AND ON MY FRIEND #SOME PERSON STARTED WRITING IT NOT KNOWING WHAT IT WAS #AND THEY'LL CONTINUE WRITING IT FOREVER JUST BECAUSE #THIS IS THE FIC THAT WILL NEVER END #IT JUST GOES ON AND ON MY FR

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tarisilmarwen · 1 year

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Rebels Rewatch: "Visions And Voices"

Maul returns to be a menace and freak both me and Ezra out.

Obligatory "I've already done a live reaction version of this episode" link.

From the very beginning, with just the washed out dingy lighting and the whooshing wind sound effect, this episode already feels unsettling. The atmospheric touches here with the storm and lightning and the camera movement and shot choice once things start happening evoke a horror movie.

The way they have Hera's voice fading out and going watery every time Maul calls to Ezra, the way Ezra keeps squinting and blinking and the tiny headshake he gives like he's trying to shake off some fatigue or jerk himself alert, make himself stop seeing things...

He looks so frightened. :(

COURSE I DON'T BLAME HIM WITH THE APPARITION OF MAUL LOOKING LIKE THIS.

Kanan and Zeb both trying to shake him awake after he faints. <3

I mentioned in my original liveblog but this episode gives me major Teen Titans 2003 "Haunted" vibes, with the plotline about a character being menaced by an imaginary villain only they can see. Rebels ultimately diverged from that parallel but my mental "If I had a nickel for every time" associations linger.

Something I loved about this episode was just how present everyone was for Ezra, how worried and concerned they were over him. Like here, all the members of the crew, even Chopper, are crowded in Kanan's room waiting for him to wake up.

Subtle animation appreciation moment: How Ezra touches the back of his neck like he's trying to rub out some stiffness or ache.

Oh hang on, did I just stumble across another Kanera-Sabezra mirror?

I DID! :D

Getting a little ahead of myself though, gotta appreciate this moment here with Ezra's fond little smile as Sabine bullies AP-5 about the munitions they're taking.

Also Sabine's "Can you believe this guy?" look lol.

Sabine immediately knows to send Chopper for Kanan. (Oh look, the two of them being the Most Important People in Ezra's life again. :D)

Sabine is very worried and alarmed this whole scene. She knows this isn't like him and oh ouch there are those Teen Titans "Haunted" feels come back to stab me again.

It's not actually clear what Maul was doing with this whole making-Ezra-see-him-everywhere trick--and you know it was deliberate, Ezra wasn't getting anything useful out of his end of the mind bond--but honestly the visions going unexplained are effectively creepy and unsettling enough. Personally I think it was one part to scare Ezra, make him doubt himself and his own mind, make him and everyone else think he was going crazy, and one part to manipulate him into doing something horrible he'd regret so that the Rebels would cast him out and drive him to Maul.

:((((

Hera understandably takes Ezra off the mission in light of events and heads it up herself. There's very soft worried mom energy radiating off her in this scene.

I'm kind of amazed Kanan and Sabine putting a tracker on Ezra without telling him didn't get any rancid takes complaining about how ~cLeArLy tOxIc~ it was. Maybe people actually remembered the part of Ezra's characterization where he tends to impulsively go off half-cocked to save people and figured, "Oh, Kanan's taking some obvious precautions in case he does that." Or maybe they decided given two previous kidnapping attempts Kanan was allowed a little paranoia over his kid.

Aaaaaaand this is the first we've heard Ezra's theme in a while.

(Note: Sabine has already painted one of Ezra's new Scout Trooper helmets, which he decides to wear to see Bendu. Even though the last time they rode the speeder into the Bendu's hollow he didn't bother wearing a helmet at all. Upgraded your comfort item/security blanket metaphor there, Ezra, eh?)

Full on horror strings here as we pan up to Maul just chilling like a creeper at the top of the hollow.

The way Ezra almost steps between Maul and Kanan. <3

Something I loved this episode was Ezra consistently rejecting Maul's attempts to touch him, smacking or shoving his hand off his shoulder, deliberately stepping away and keeping a distance.

Since a straightforward request was denied, Maul resorts to blackmail, threatening to broadcast the location of the base to the Empire and oof, Ezra's face.

Maul then dangles the "key to defeating the Sith" carrot in front of them, which activates Ezra's Hero Complex and hyper-responsibility and is what makes him agree to go. See, Maul is his responsibility, it's his fault Maul is even after them in the first place, so Ezra feels a sense of obligation to take care of him as a personal problem.

Love how Kanan says Phoenix Squadron will just wholecloth pack up and move to a new base in order to keep Ezra safe. I don't think it works like that Kanan, lol, but the spirit is appreciated.

Ezra's awfully confident that Maul won't hurt him and, ngl, that is not a risk I would have taken. But Kanan decides to trust Ezra and so the snippet of Ezra's theme that's been playing (marking his gesture of self-sacrifice) gives way to the same cue that played when Vader was descending on top of the TIE Advanced in "Twilight of the Apprentice", kind of an auditory callback to Malachor and the start of this whole arc.

Sabine's already getting the Phantom II prepped. <3

Dathomir looks appropriately hellish. Twisted gnarled trees, barren rocks, broken architecture, drenched in deep red with fog obscuring the horizon.

It's subtle at first and grows more obvious as the episode carries on but Maul is a little bit, ah... bipolar in his actions and displays of emotion here. He oscillates between speaking calmly, growling in frustration, outright snapping at Ezra sometimes, cackling to himself randomly, and of course dropping his voice down into that soft, vulnerable cadence that's his go-to whenever he wants to garner and play to Ezra's sympathies. Ezra takes his erratic behavior in stride, for the most part, doesn't flinch or comment on Maul's mood swings.

Really do love the environment work Rebels does. <3

Ezra flippantly dismissing Maul's murder hoard as "junk" lol.

"Fun" easter egg to note: The scrawled Mand'oa on the wall spells KENOBI.

Aaaaaaand our introduction of the plot device that is the darksaber, displayed prominently under a cubist painting of Satine, whose theme plays as Ezra examines the darksaber. This reference is pure fanservice for TCW fans. It basically means nothing to me emotionally, I was never a fan of Satine or her romance with Obi-Wan, so mostly I just feel offended and creeped out on her behalf that a painting of her got hauled to Maul's murder cave and defaced.

(Interesting to note that the slashes of... paint?... blood?... stuff crosses out Satine's eyes and cuts her throat. Is Maul reveling in his murder of her, trying to relive it by destroying her image? Did he stub out her eyes to stop her from "staring" at him? Who knows.)

Okay I lied, Ezra flinches precisely once, right after Maul yells at him not to touch the darksaber.

I like to think it was possibly calling out to him, the kyber crystal inside a natural siren song to Force wielders, and that's how Ezra knows it's some kind of lightsaber and not just a weird stick.

Love the drums in this music cue. It's got some exotic-sounding eastern instruments in it too, I think I might hear a bit of didgeridoo?

Subtle animation appreciation moment: How Ezra screws up his face in preparation to down the potion, it obviously doesn't smell or taste very good lol.

The music turns frantic and rushing when we cut the Sabine and Kanan landing out, like it's telling them to hurry. More exotic instruments, some kind of tinny percussion, cymbals maybe?

Right, so this episode was clearly another Halloween special right? Has all the perfect trappings of one lol.

Maul strays into Dangerously Genre Savvy here; he never intended to pay for using the Nightsisters' magick himself and his dialogue to Ezra seems to indicate he didn't intend to sacrifice Ezra to them either. So his plan was either to evade the spirit witches long enough to get away scott free, or he was counting on other members of the Spectres to come after Ezra trying to save him.

Either way, it leads to one of the creepiest scenes in the show.

Subtle animation appreciation moment: The bewildered way Kanan's head jerks around right before the Nightsister spirit possesses him, like he can tell that something freaky is there but he can't tell what or where.

The unnatural character movement the animators use for Possessed!Kanan and Possessed!Sabine is really good; they're limp like puppets for a bit before the spirits take full control, and even afterwards move in jerky, inhuman motions.

And thus a half-dozens angst!fics were written lol. (And still not nearly enough.)

Ngl, Maul technically does show Ezra how to save his friends buuuuut he gets no points for that since he clearly thought Ezra would just write them off and come with him.

I'm still amazed he didn't just kidnap him right there. Kenobi obsession too strong I guess.

Other people have already pointed out the irony of Maul screaming at Ezra to forget the past and his attachments while himself being obsessed with the past and clearly trying to use Ezra as a Replacement Goldfish for Savage but I'll mention that anyway.

You know, the Fridge Horror of this episode is really unsettling. I know at least one fanficcer and @better-call-mau1 have asked the question of how, exactly, does possessing Kanan and Sabine allow the Nightsisters to rebuild their clan? They're either going to use Kanan and Sabine to perform some kind of freaky necromancy ritual, use them to lure other Rebels in (seems like it'd have limited effectiveness, eventually Rebel Command would decide retrieval isn't worth it), or they would rebuild the clan using more... ah... conventional means.

Add that unsettling thought to how possessed Sabine seems to stalk Ezra, specifically, while the possessed Kanan returns to the altar and fkhkhffjhjhgggfgjjjj--

Yeah.

"That doesn't belong to you!" "Then take it from me, Jedi!" Are they talking about the darksaber or Sabine's body?

...Yes.

This music cue is amazing. Possessed Sabine scrabbling on the ground like a feral animal while Ezra just calmly Force Pushes her out of the threshold is excellently staged.

Well that's a heart eyes expression if I ever saw one lol.

Sometimes I like to listen to different language tracks for specific dramatic parts of shows or movies, to see how other actors do it, compare performance notes and kjsahfkajshfkajh one of the Chinese Nightsister-possessed Kanans was one of the most horrifying scary things I've ever heard.

This scene is just heartwrenching. A lot of this episode was spoiled in the trailers so this maybe didn't have as much dramatic impact as it should have had at the time but I still found it pretty gut-punching. A little short, maybe. That's about it.

This is one of Ezra's finer moments, frankly, outsmarting and defeating the Nightsister spirits. You really feel the care he has for Kanan. Love it. <3

From the moment Ezra said that the answer to destroying the Sith was "Obi-Wan Kenobi" I think I knew it was a false flag and what Maul had manipulated him to see. Because, obviously, they key is Luke.

Interesting how Ezra thinks if Obi-Wan doesn't, eventually, fight, that the Sith can't be stopped. He's pinning a lot of hopes on a man who doesn't, ultimately, wind up being the narrative Chosen One who accomplishes that task. Again, more on that later in "Twin Suns".

Ezra seems to pay Sabine a glance as he passes, aww.

*PORTENTS OF CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT*

This episode is one of my favorites, and the "Haunted" mental connections are only one of the reasons why. It's got great dialogue, creepy suspense, adorable subtle Sabezra moments, furthering of Maul's slow mental degradation and descent into full ruin, and Ezra gets to be amazingly self-sacrificing, brave, and awesome in it. What's not to love?

#star wars #star wars rebels #ezra bridger #sabezra #space dad and his precious pumpkin child #rebels rewatch #kanan x hera #liveblog

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makeste · 2 years

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BnHA Episode 122, a.k.a. NOBUHIKO YOU'VE DONE IT AGAIN

THEY CAN'T KEEP LETTING HIM GET AWAY WITH IT!

oh my god.

so first off, let's just get the one big major criticism out of the way: this episode was definitely not up to the same high quality standards as the first third of this season. and hey, I get it! you're doing 24 episodes in all, you're on a time crunch, and you've only got so many animators to go around. and the quality of some of these earlier season 6 eps (118 and 119 especially) was seriously some of the best this series has ever had. by contrast, chapters 284 and 285, while still easily ranking among my favorite chapters of all time, definitely do not go as hard with the visuals as some of the other War arc chapters (that very last 285 page being the one standout exception).

anyway so yeah, it was still a slight disappointment, but I'm fine with it. it does mean Deku vs Kacchan 2 will still retain its crown as my all time fave, but the real meat of this episode was never going to be about the flashy visuals -- it's all about that sweet, sweet character development.

two more very minor criticisms before I get to the OMG nonstop gushing part of this post! one, they did cut out this scene from ch 282 where Tomura originally had TWO quirk-be-gone bullets in his possession and Kacchan actually destroyed the second one.

YOU THOUGHT WE WOULDN'T REMEMBER, BONES. BUT WE DID. so for everyone who is giving Kacchan his well-earned love, praise, and admiration today, don't forget to also give him props for saving Aizawa's other leg, or whichever other appendage this doubtless would have hit. my boy out here lowkey saving his sensei from being ReDestro'd.

and then one final nitpicky little quibble, which is that the anime subtitlers declined to use the "Catch-A-Kacchan" translation, despite it being the single cleverest translation of all time, and by far Caleb Cook's biggest and most important contribution to the BnHA canon. alas, twas not meant to be. BUT ANYWAY NOW ON TO THE GUSHING.

okay so first off, we all know that Aizawa is an absolute badass and the most metal motherfucker in this entire series, and that Shouto has by this point all but perfected the art of swooping in to save the day at pivotal moments, and that the U.A. kids all need ALL OF THE THERAPY GODDAMMIT, and that Deku is a COMPLETE LUNATIC who thinks that HAVING FUNCTIONAL ARMS IS OVERRATED ANYWAYS. yes and yes and yes and yes. and if you wish, you can read all about my thoughts on these things and more, here and here and here and here.

but you already know what I actually came here to talk about today.

first of all, YOU GUYS. the music. THIS FUCKING MUSIC, THOUGH. they used the exact same OST track that was used for the "why was I the one who ended All Might?" speech all the way back in DvK2. THIS IS OFFICIALLY THE "TIME FOR NOBUHIKO TO FLEX HIS VOICE ACTING CHOPS" MUSIC. A TRADITION HAS BEEN BORN.

anyway so if anyone needs me I'll just be sitting here playing this scene on repeat until the end of time. no big deal though. I can quit at any time. not like I'm obsessed with it or anything. I definitely love this scene and this character a perfectly normal amount.

All Might talking about how Katsuki understood from the get-go about how OFA was a secret that could put other people at great risk really hits hard in hindsight. especially when you realize that Katsuki really did know right from the start, and he willingly accepted that risk with no hesitation, and he absolutely did suffer consequences for it (it was his knowledge of OFA that led to him following Deku and subsequently getting involved in this battle). and I don't doubt that he has absolutely zero regrets.

okay but can we seriously just talk for a sec about the way Kacchan's anxiety is practically boiling over when he starts to ask All Might about the Fourth's cause of death?? I feel like this is one thing that kind of got overlooked at the time in the manga because we were so completely distracted by EVERY SINGLE OTHER DAMN THING IN THAT CHAPTER lol. but hearing it again here, you feel how worried he actually is about Deku, and idk why but it all of a sudden just hit me so damn hard.

"I'm worried about him. you are, too." because that truly is what this whole conversation is really about. or at least that's the driving force behind it. behind this whole episode, in fact. it's simple, when you get right down to it: Kacchan is afraid that Deku is going to die. it's literally been the biggest fear on his mind ever since Deku unlocked SIXQUIRKS. right from the start, his mind was immediately going to the worst case scenarios. he immediately deduced that OFA might have a deeper connection to AFO than any of them realized (shoutout to Kacchan for being the original "Deku is a horcrux" truther lol. ONE DAY HORIKOSHI WILL FINALLY REVEAL THE TRUTH AND PROVE US RIGHT). he instantly zeroed in on the sobering fact that all of the previous OFA users died young. and as he reveals here, he took particular notice of the fact that All Might seems to be hiding something about OFA IV's death, and he is goddamn PRESSED about it.

and I absolutely LOVE the way that Nobu voiced this part of the conversation. when he starts to question All Might, his breathing starts to pick up a little, and his voice starts to get louder, and the words start to spill out faster and faster almost like he's in a rush to get it all out, and his voice starts to crack just a little, and he goes from not looking at All Might to hesitantly, almost fearfully glancing at him from the side, and then finally turning to face him head on with his eyes all wary and his teeth gritted like he's bracing himself for the very worst (because he is).

and then he finally just asks him, "was it because you realized something?" and then he takes in this achingly hesitant little breath before finishing with, "...about One for All?" and just. the whole scene is just SO well done. like, he's seriously so fucking scared about this, though. but at the same time he just needs to know, and just. oh my god. and Nobuhiko manages to emote all of this so clearly, and that is such a difficult line to walk when you're dealing with a character like Katsuki who's always so hesitant to show his vulnerability. he has to portray these two separate layers of Bakugou at the same time -- the part of him that is trying his hardest to be nonchalant and matter-of-fact in order to hide his fears and emotions; while at the same time also portraying said emotions which are clearly seeping through anyway, regardless of his efforts.

anyway so yeah. I could talk about this for eighty years and never get sick of it honestly but let's move on.

let me tell you guys, I've been bracing myself for this scene for two full years, and it still kicked my ass. THIS SCENE HAD NO REGARD FOR HUMAN LIFE. literally RIGHT IN the feels. direct hit.

"he's always been that way." no, but guys. the regret when he says that. the way he states it with such simplicity and clarity. almost profound. this is just a truth of the world. this is just how Deku is. this is something that took him so long to understand, but now that he does, he can't fathom how he was never able to see it before. and then that ever-so-slight bitterness that creeps into his voice as he goes on to describe how he fucked it all up. ;_;

and then last but not least!!

"ijimeta." one word, in Japanese. it all comes down to that. and his voice gets so quiet. this whole last part of his speech is so quiet and so soft. but when he says this very last part, his voice wavers perfectly on that last word, and it just. sounds so resigned, somehow, but also just... almost faltering, for just a moment. you can hear the regret as clear as day, but you also hear the fear once again as he finally reveals this fact -- literally his biggest shame; the worst thing that he's ever done -- to All Might. his hero. just, damn.

anyway. so needless to say, despite my expectations being SKY HIGH, this scene absolutely met all of them and blew me away. as expected from the best fucking voice actor in Japan, according to me, a single lone person, whose subjective opinion is absolutely definitely not biased in any possible way.

back to the action! and Nobu getting to do his very best Deku impression lol.

can you believe this kid. one single nerdy analysis speech was all it took for him to start emitting such powerful Main Character Energy that even Endeavor got taken in and was just automatically following orders lol.

awesome choice of music here while Deku and Tomura continued to battle and Bakugou laid out his plan. you know it's good when they still manage to make you feel the tension even though this is basically just a generic action scene, and you additionally already know exactly what's going to happen.

I have no idea why, but that part with Deku's "Kacchan... my 'Deku' means 'you can do it!'" speech juxtaposed against the image of him going all out against Tomura with such fierce determination hit me like 100x harder than it did in the manga. I was NOT expecting that to be as powerful as it was. damn near gave me chills.

literally the only time I've ever been on board with the whole "FUCK YEAH, I'LL JUST BREAK ALL MY BONES AT YOU!!" deal lol. it literally makes no goddamn sense but this scene is just so raw.

THEN WE YEET THE ENDEAVOR!!!!

SO ON-BRAND. NO DEKU-INSPIRED PLAN IS EVER TRULY COMPLETE WITHOUT A GOOD YEETING.

and then the next few moments are some of the most legitimately unsettling of the entire series, as we have Tomura screaming at the top of his lungs while being burnt to cinders (and I mean, I love Tomura dearly, but I get it; he literally just Thanos'd tens of thousands of innocent people), followed by AFO's creepy fucking ghost hand reaching out all "LEND ME YOUR BODY~~~" which is a scene that absolutely NO ONE ASKED FOR but okay.

but then right afterwards though! when AFO finally did take over, and you hear that "TV shutting down" sound effect all of a sudden? and then the next few scenes with all the BKDK flashbacks are also weirdly TV-themed? I could not for the life of me figure this out at first, but now I'm actually thinking it could be a reference to the chapter 306 color page?

OR MAYBE NOT? I actually have no idea. anyway though it may have been random af but it worked for me, what can I say.

AND THEN THE MOMENT OF TRUTH AT LONG LAST.

THIS ACTUALLY IS SO PRETTY THOUGH?? LIKE I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT COLOR COMBINATION AT ALL?

AND IT HAPPENS SO QUICKLY!!!!??? YOU BARELY EVEN HAVE TIME TO BLINK?!?!!

oh. my. god.

THE WAY THE MUSIC SUDDENLY GOT QUIET. THE WAY HIS NARRATING VOICE CAME ON AND, PRAISE EVERYTHING, IT REALLY WAS DEEPER. THAT REALLY WAS THE ADULT HIM. SAME AS DEKU. MY FEELINGS ABOUT THIS ARE SO FUCKING MUCH RIGHT NOW.

AND THEN THE FLASHBACKS!! THE SCENES OF THEM IN MIDDLE SCHOOL!! AND GROUND ZERO!! AND THEN CUTTING TO THE TWO OF THEM AS LITTLE BABIES, AND THE TV SCREEN ALL OF A SUDDEN SWITCHING TO COLOR??? AND THE HANDS??? THE REACHING?!?!

AND THEN?!?!?!

"HEY MAKESTE, IF WE GO AHEAD AND ACTUALLY MAKE THE VOLUME 29 COVER CANON, WILL YOU FINALLY FORGIVE US FOR ALL OF THE HALF-BAKED PAINFULLY OOC FILLER EPISODES AND OVAS?" WELL, STUDIO BONES, YOU DRIVE A HARD BARGAIN, BUT HOW CAN I POSSIBLY REFUSE.

AND THEN THEY FULL ON MURDERED ME!!!!!

that's right bitches. DREAD IT. RUN FROM IT. THE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT ARRIVES ALL THE SAME.

holy shit. and then THE END CREDITS oh my freaking heart. words can't even describe.

Studio Bones out here not resting until they've succeeded in making EVERY SINGLE PERSON feel the MAXIMUM AMOUNT OF SADNESS THAT A HUMAN BEING CAN SUSTAIN. their callousness truly knows no bounds.

anyway so there we have it! part one of the spectacular season 6 Bakugou Katsuki Redemption Saga. I laughed, I cried, I cried, I cried, I cried a little bit more, and then I cried a little bit more after that. final verdict: yeah, it was pretty good.

#bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha season 6 #bnha episode 122 #bakugou katsuki #bakugou meta #makeste watches bnha #okamoto nobuhiko appreciation post #and I feel character development in this chili's tonight

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serasarahhhh · 2 months

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Author: Maxine Pairings: BakuDeku Rating: R Chapters: 15/? Notes: Accidental quirk shenanigans result in an unplanned pregnancy. Post-canon, no a/b/o dynamics. Summary: It's not that Katsuki didn't want kids. He figured he'd have them one day, probably. That he and Izuku would adopt or maybe figure something else out. This is NOT how it was supposed to go. ~~~~~ CHAPTER 15 “Holy shit,” Katsuki utters, walking right up to the bed and just staring. Izuku’s slack-jawed himself, but he makes sure he grips Kaminari in a tight hug before doing anything else. “Fuck, you really did it,” Kacchan continues in near-disbelief. “Yep,” Kyouka says, lips quirking. She brushes a gentle touch over her daughter’s chubby cheek. “Didn’t have much of a choice, really, once it started. She was ready.” Kaminari releases Izuku from his clutches and walks with him over to the baby. “Oh, wow,” Izuku murmurs. His eyes go wet – typical, honestly – but he beams through the tears. “Kyouka. She’s amazing.” “I know, right?” Kaminari says excitedly. “All ten fingers and toes.” He bends close to Kyouka so she can pass the baby over to him. “She’s pretty bald right now, but it looks like she’s gonna have Kyouka’s hair.” Carefully, he tugs her little beanie off so they can see the wispy purple strands covering her head. “Maybe not her Quirk, though.” True, it doesn’t seem like she has Kyouka’s earphone jacks. “Could mean she’ll have yours, though,” Izuku says, keeping his volume low as he leans in. Kanami is still sound asleep and has been since they got there, so Izuku sure doesn’t want to be the one who accidentally wakes her up. “Gosh, she looks just like you guys.” He doesn’t know how accurate that actually is right now, but he figures it’s the sort of thing people say. Out of the corner of his eye, he catches Katsuki wrinkling his nose up in a doubtful sort of way, but thank goodness he doesn’t actually voice his disagreement out loud. Instead, he says, “Not bad, Ears. Congrats.” Kyouka snorts. “Woo, I did it,” she cheers, flat but teasing. “Pushed a whole human out of my body.” “Yeah, thank fuck I don’t gotta do that.” Katsuki glances from baby Kanami to Kyouka and back again. “Like…she ain’t that big but still. How the hell.” “Oh, trust me,” Kyouka intones, barking out a quick laugh. “She FELT big.” “You want to hold her?” Kaminari asks, and whether that’s directed toward Izuku or Katsuki, he’s not sure, but Izuku instantly chirps out a, “YES!” and thrusts his arms out. Kaminari carefully hands her over, making sure Izuku’s supporting everything he’s supposed to and that his daughter is safe and secure before he backs off a tad. And that’s about when Izuku’s world finally tilts off its axis. She’s such a little thing. And she feels fragile. Not in an unusual way or anything, as far as he can tell, but just… Izuku’s so much bigger. And he’s clumsy sometimes, oh god. His hands are huge, his arms bulky with muscle, Kanami looks itty bitty nestled against him and it’s WILD. He’s suddenly so terrified something will happen to her because of him, even though there’s really not much that could happen. Because he’s being careful, SO careful, and he would never do anything stupid that would harm her, but it’s just this – this FEELING. It sweeps through him, protective and fierce and god, Kanami isn’t even his! Holy crap, what the heck. Some kind of sound escapes him – awed, scared, amazed, who knows. His voice is choked when he speaks. “Hi, Kana-chan,” he whispers. She lets out a little mewl, squirming for a few seconds in her blanket before she settles again, and Izuku melts. “Welcome to the world, baby girl.” Continue reading at AO3. Through chapter 15 now posted!

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aihoshiino · 11 months

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what's your #1 chapter/moment? by character if you're up to writing another essay

"if you're up to writing another essay". you guys know me so well <3

For the sake of not taking like 8 weeks to answer this ask, I'll limit this to just the Hoshinos for now.

Ai: So, my actual fave Ai moment is not from the manga itself so I'll pick my fave manga moment then talk about my actual fave moment. It's fine, she's my favourite so she gets preferential treatment!!!! (saitou behaviour……)

From the manga itself, my favourite Ai moment is her death, believe it or not lol. I'm one of the Oshi no Sickos who think her arc being capped by her death is narratively speaking the perfect conclusion to everything we learn about her life – the entertainment industry ruined every opportunity Ai ever had at a normal life up to and having that conclude with Ai's literal, actual life being taken by an embodiment of the misogyny and violence that's been inflicted on her since she was a child is such a miserable, cathartic bit of tragedy. But moreso than that, what resonates with me so strongly about this moment is how Ai responds to it - or rather, how she fails to respond.

Even though it would make so much sense for her to be bitter or angry or upset, she makes an active choice to spend her last moments alive pouring out love and literally spends her last breaths on telling Ruby and Aqua she loves them. It says so, so much about what a deeply kind and incredibly strong person Ai is that she was able to do that.

My actual favourite Ai moment is her conversation with Kyun in Viewpoint B and the reveal that their meeting in the park was so impactful to Ai that it lead her to consider Kyun her closest friend for years afterwards. Like her death, the way Ai goes out of her way to approach Kyun and try to reach out to her speaks so deeply so her kindness and her desire to connect with other people and there's a little part of me that always wonders if maybe if this fleeing friendship had come to pass for real, Ai might have been saved. At the very least, there's something bitterly sweet about knowing that for as alone as Ai was in B-Komachi, she had someone she called a friend even so.

Aqua: Honestly, I love so many Aqua moments, it's hard to pick just one but I will never be over the Piyeon ruse. Aqua was so put out by the girl he has a crush on not talking to him that he dressed as a bodybuilding chicken with a squeaky voice for a week. Literally the most teenage thing any teenager in this series has done. Embarrassing ass kid.

My actual serious answer is Aqua's breakdown during Tokyo Blade - specifically, the 'internal' scenes where he's confronted by both Goro and his younger self. These are so, so important for getting at the core of who Aqua really is and they're honestly bone-chilling to read. Seeing Goro as this malicious, intrusive force who is preventing Aqua from being happy, seeing the words he batters Aqua with and realizing that this is the kind of shit Aqua probably thinks about himself every day honestly kind of turns my stomach a bit! It's clear before this that Aqua struggles with self-hate and self-blame but seeing the sheer extent of it is so horrible.

That this confrontation essentially climaxes in the hallway where Ai died, with Aqua face to face with his younger self, also underlines something that's really fundamental to understanding who Aqua is; at his core, Aqua has never stopped being that little boy covered in his mother's blood. He has, emotionally speaking, never been able to leave that hallway and until he allows himself to do so, he's going to continue self destructing and taking everyone down with him.

It's honestly the scene I'm most excited to see animated... season 2 can't come soon enough!!!

Ruby: Without a doubt it has to be her and Ai's dance practice scene back in volume 1, but especially in the anime's portrayal of it. I think OnK's handling of the past life stuff is at its best in moments like this, where it actually meaningfully engages with what it would mean for someone to carry such deep trauma from their past and how it would continue to affect them going forward. We get little hints of this leading up to it, like Ruby outright saying she's never thought about her future (implicitly because she was aware she would not have one as Sarina) and the way she so enthusiastically gives her all to playing and having fun with other kids at school - because those are things that she never got to do as Sarina. But her dance scene and her thoughts leading up to it really hammer in just how deeply this has affected Ruby - she spends almost three years living with the expectation that at any moment, her body will betray and hurt her for seemingly no reason to the point that it affects how she walks and carries herself moment to moment.

This is also a really good Ai moment for her as a moment and it also highlights something really special about Ai and Ruby's relationship I feel we don't get as much post-timeskip; how genuinely healing and wonderful their connection was for both of them. I've talked before about the running motif of toxic motherhood on Oshi no Ko and how Ai, as a character, is sort of a refutation of the other shitty oshi no moms in the series. Knowing that both Ai and Ruby are victims of toxic mothers, it makes it so deeply, incredibly powerful that these two victims find healing and acceptance in each other and the genuinely loving and supportive mother/daughter bond they have with each other.

The anime's version of this scene is also just easily one of its biggest highlights for me. The gorgeous colours, the overlapping of Sarina and Ruby's voices and the palpable affection Ruby and Ai have for each other... it's just so lovely and it makes me a little teary-eyed every time I watch it. The transformation of Sarina's sorrow into Ruby's joy and empowerment is such an important foundational part of Ruby's arc in the first part of the series and I'm so glad the anime really got it right.

#oshi no ko #oshi no posting #onk spoilers #ai hoshino #hoshino ai #ruby hoshino #hoshino ruby #aqua hoshino #hoshino aqua

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firestorm09890 · 2 years

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Kingdom Hearts: Nobody Anatomy, Physiology, Psychology, Ontology??? headcanons

saw people talking about more monstrous Nobodies a bit ago (okay it was a long while ago at this point, this has been in drafts for ages) and that reminded me to share some of my thoughts. it spiraled kind of out of control and now this post is ridiculously long. three parts: the physical side, the less physical side, and other thoughts. most of it’s under the cut. enjoy

The physical side

All of these apply to ALL Nobodies, not just the funny squiggly ones.

Alrighty, here’s my proposal: Nobodies don’t have any internal organs. Even the ones that retain their human form. They may look and act like they’ve got regular human body processes, but I like to think that it’s just a hollow imitation. This is why every single Nobody has an absolutely snatched waist

So they’d lack both their metaphysical hearts and their real hearts!

The Organization was founded by a bunch of researchers who got into this mess via unethical human experimentation so you know they tried to pin down the specifics of Nobody biology early on, but every time they tried to use any medical equipment it would come up empty or just straight up not work. And then none of them were willing to get vivisected for the cause lmao

I think the greater Nobodies (human-shaped ones) are made up of the same weird, rubbery flexible stuff that lesser Nobodies are, but just don’t have that flexibility because hey! They’ve got a human form to maintain! They may seem human, but on a biological level, they’re closer to the squiggly guys than an actual human. This is why it’s possible for Xemnas to turn greater Nobodies into Dusks. We never see him do it, but I doubt it’s an empty threat. I don’t think there were any other greater Nobodies in the Organization in the past, but he’s probably transformed one of the specialized Nobodies, like a Dancer or Dragoon, into one of the lowest-ranked ones, like Dusks or Creepers or something.

All Nobodies have the Nobody sigil somewhere on them. For lesser Nobodies it’s easily visible, but for greater Nobodies, it’s on their backs, and since they’re always wearing those coats, no one ever sees it.

If a Nobody is cut, they don’t bleed- instead, little wisps of darkness leak out of the wound, like what happens in the Org’s death animations but on a smaller scale. They can heal faster than regular humans thanks to ✨something something darkness and nothingness✨.

Though Nobodies are supposedly shunned by both light and darkness, they are more aligned with dark than light. Any Nobody can wield light, not just Roxas (as shown by Zexion in Chain of Memories), but it takes great difficulty. However, they can wield darkness with ease.

Nobodies do need to sleep as regularly as humans, but can last much longer without food or water. Rest? Yes! Nutrience? Unimportant

They have no body heat- that’s a corpse, baby!!! That does bring up some questions about thermoregulation. I don’t feel like thinking about it tbh. There’s lots of questions in this vein: can Nobodies get drunk? I think they probably can’t. In 358/2 Days, Demyx says “Wait, training!? That sounds like work, which means sweating. Which is gross.” and that... complicates things! I could chalk it up to how a lot of people in Organization XIII have a tendency to keep acting like they’re humans and nothing’s changed, even though it has.

Nobodies are “born” in any world in the Realm Between. Roxas first appeared in Twilight Town, but some might have shown up by Castle Oblivion, or even the Mysterious Tower (god bless). Showing up in The World That Never Was is probably the most common.

The less physical side

It’s quite an unlikely coincidence that every apprentice of Ansem the Wise had a standout, super strong heart that allowed them to retain their human forms as Nobodies. I think it had something to do with being stabbed by a keyblade, not just their wills alone. That would also align with 9-12 being tied to a keyblade legacy. A strong will is important, yes, but you only get to be human-looking if there was a keyblade involved.

In a Nobody, the most important part of this will is the will to live. Should that ever wane, they Nobody will begin to destabilize, and eventually, they will return to nothingness.

Nobodies have hearts, and they do not have hearts. They have feelings, and they do not have feelings. It’s like the observer effect in quantum mechanics. Anyone who can sense hearts or feelings or whatever will not be able to sense anything from a Nobody, no matter how far along in development that heart may be, reinforcing the belief that yeah there’s nothing there. But there is... and also there isn’t. Both statements are true. A friend described it as “Schrödinger’s Feelings” and it’s the most accurate “Schrodinger’s ____” joke I’ve ever seen made. Someone else described it as depression which is also accurate (source: i’ve had depression). There are bouts of emotion occasionally, but those emotions are dulled (and usually negative) and most of the time there’s only suffocating apathy.

There is some truth to the statement that Nobodies’ feelings are simply recreations of what they might’ve felt back when they had hearts, but it’s also bogus. Memories are important to the makeup of a Nobody, but that statement is often used as an excuse that covers up the reality that there was a feeling there. It’s very easy to lie to yourself when there’s mostly data supporting your argument and any evidence against is less common and easily disputed by “logic” like this.

The most prominent “feelings” in Nobodies are an intense sense of longing and dissatisfaction. For some, the longing is for a heart, but for others it is aimless. That was the idea behind all the Nobodies having little hobbies like cooking and puzzles and reading magazines in the manga. They’re trying to fill that void with anything they can.

In one of the novels, Demyx, #1 proponent of the idea that Nobodies do have hearts actually, gives us this:

I play and play, but I can’t make a satisfying sound.

In truth, I know I won’t be satisfied in all eternity.

If you don’t have a heart, there’s no such thing as satisfaction.

You don’t even think you want to be satisfied.

And yeah, the novels aren’t canon, but it’s still interesting to see and think about. Nothing you do is good enough to fill that emptiness, but you can barely bring yourself to care about it anyway. Yep, depression!

Nobodies are prone to a high amount of introspection. It’s an inherited trait all Nobodies share- if you manage to survive past humanity in a bizarre fucked up state like this, you’re naturally going to be thinking about it. However, they’re all also incredibly bad at it, and generally do a horrible job at self-reflection. This is just an unfortunate coincidence

A Nobody can regrow a heart if they make connections, and are seen and acknowledged by others. Pretty sure that’s just canon. HOWEVER, Nobodies cannot help each other grow hearts- this is why none of the Organization regrew hearts after 10 years of being around each other, and despite connections within the group. 0+0 is still 0, after all. That’s what makes the policy of going undetected on missions so insidious. They’re never allowed the chance to regrow a heart. I’ve already talked about it somewhere else, but this is why Roxas grows a heart so fast- he ignores that rule, for the most part. Axel’s interactions with Sora are also what kickstarts his heart growth.

Hypothetically, since someone doesn’t have to remember a memory for Castle Oblivion to draw on it, the mechanics with the cards and the rooms could have been used to help Xemnas recall his past- considering how much time he spent talking to Aqua’s armor, I think that’s something he might’ve been interested in. HOWEVER! Since the Twilight Town card came from the memories on the other side of Sora’s heart, I propose that the properties of Castle Oblivion would have no effect on Nobodies. RIP.

Other thoughts

I’m not saying Ansem the Wise and Yensid were right about Nobodies! I do think they’re different from humans on a fundamental level, but demonizing them is Not Cool

On the idea that Nobodies aren’t meant to exist: Well. Just like before it’s total bogus bc the main perpetrators of that idea were either bigoted about it or liars or both but I think it’s a little more complicated than “everyone is flat wrong about this”. Nobodies are essentially naturally-occurring byproducts of Heartless. Most Nobodies (or, at least, the lesser ones, based on that one cutscene in kh2 where hearts rain down on The World That Never Was and we see a bunch of Dusks grasping for them) seem to have a drive to reclaim the heart they’ve lost- if reclaimed, that would mean they wouldn’t be a Nobody anymore. Creatures born in worlds of neither light nor darkness, created only through the destruction of another and only some of the time, who don’t even want to exist like this themselves... that’s what “Nobodies aren’t meant to exist” means to me, I think. BEAR IN MIND “MEANT” IS NOT THE SAME AS “DESERVE”

And then! There’s Nobodies who defy that! Or, uh, Nobody, singular. Roxas goes “bro I don’t care I want to exist as I am” and he does that (Naminé... didn’t really seem to share that opinion, if I’m remembering correctly. Probably because DiZ hammered it into her head that she didn’t deserve to exist). I wish we had seen something like that from one of the regular Nobodies- why should recompletion and/or regaining a heart be the ideal? Why do they have to die again in order to be “right”? It just further perpetuates that idea DiZ and Yensid pushed in kh2: Nobodies are Wrong and shouldn’t be around. Unless you’re special like Roxas or Naminé in which case it’s okay. But for everyone else it’s recomplete or bust... anyway this is a tangent I did not mean to go on with this post-

I think it’s interesting, how they’re made of nothingness and their existence is “nonexistent”. Nothingness is, as an element, something, as opposed to true nothing, which is the absence of anything. Nonexistence implies existence. It’s like how in math, sometimes an answer to a problem will be DNE-- that’s Nobodies, and “nothingness”. “Does not exist”, but in writing the answer, it does exist, as a nonexistent entity. As opposed to just... not having a math problem at all, and therefore not having a place to write a solution. That is true nothingness- all the Nobodies of people whose hearts weren’t strong enough to create Nobodies fall under this category. They don’t exist for real. Nothing as something vs nothing as nothing- ah fuck I just realized this is the second time I’ve used a math analogy for kingdom hearts. shit

in conclusion

that’s all of it. probably. i like nobodies a whole lot. now that i’m thinking about it i should’ve made this multiple posts instead of one huge one. if you read all of this you earn my undying love

#kingdom hearts #kh #organization xiii #nobodies #kh headcanons #me post #i dont expect anyone to reblog this one lmao #but it would be nice if someone read it #i spent a stupid amount of time thinking about this #oh my god wait #0+0=0 is technically also a math analogy #fuck ive done this three times #and with the mention of quantum mechanics this post outs me as a super turbo nerd multiple times

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