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pmyournudes · 4 years

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Moons Over Madripoor Ch 1

“I’m sorry Daddy, I’ve been naughty”

“Wade what have I told you about coming to Hell’s Kitchen”. Matt is exhausted, it’s nearing midnight, and he’d already kicked everyone’s ass in a bar to break up a Maggia gun deal. He’s too tired to deal with any of the Merc’s mouth tonight, and he knows it’s just beginning, “and more importantly what have I told you about staying in Hell’s kitchen.” Matt adjusted his footing. Normally Wade would try to futilely sneak up on him, this time he just came up the fire escape.

“You don’t want to hear my confession? I’m sure I could find some saps to perforate with my guilt.” Wade unholstered a pistol and spun it idly, Matt could tell the gun wasn’t even loaded.

“I’m not a priest but, I don’t like you threatening thugs just to make me bend an ear.” Matt knew Wade was manipulating him, but he also knew Wade only dealt with money and bodies. His emotions were something Wade had a less than tenuous grasp on. “You going to tell me where to find a pile of bodies? You know I don’t appreciate those as favors, you’re not a cat.” Matt leaned against the stonework, Wade’s heartrate was flittering, if Matt knew any better he’d think that Wade had been crying.

“No, I haven’t been in the mood to kill anyone. Well not IN the mood but I just don’t care. Like you ever get a drumstick ice cream and just can’t even bother eating enough to get to the chocolate so you just throw it away? Or you think the taco truck sounds good to hit up but by the time you load all your mags and strap your guns on you realize you don’t even want any mexican? It’s like that” Matt knew Wade must be low. Someone so impulsive and carefree doesn’t just lose motivation for their chicanery. He must have been crying after all.

“Too languid to kill drug dealers or support any taquerias? That’s not the Deadpool I know. I suppose I can hear your confession. I have no idea what it’d pertain to since crimes against thugs and chimichangas normally top that list.” Matt was genuinely curious, this could only mean trouble. Or a headache for him, something he doesn’t need if what he heard with Tombstone was actually about to go down. “I suppose I could spare a few for you but, if anything comes up tonight I’ll need to see to that too.” Matt sat down on the ledge of the walk up, one leg off the side so he could keep an ear on the bar he was staking out.

“Of course, there’s other buildings that could use some brooding on them. Or if any of your gargoyle buddies needs back up catching pigeon shit you should get on that.” Wade jokingly toyed, a little too cavalier for someone trying to have a heartfelt conversation.

“Did you want to talk or did you come here to belittle me? Some of us feel a personal responsibility to doing the right thing.”

“Dont fucking talk about responsibility to me. You know who else does? That shit eating Spider-man. Maybe you should leave and go be responsible too, maybe Queens needs you, maybe my flat isn’t good enough, maybe we can’t take weeks to ourselves as if we don’t need it, don’t need each other.” Wade grabbed his mouth. He’d said more than he meant. He knew that his team ups with Spidey were public but maybe Daredevil would miss his slip up or not know what he was talking about. Wade crouched down, or maybe he was slumping, his body scabbards kept his back straight, but his head falling let Daredevil know that he was exhausted as well.

“Oh, I meant I have guilt that I’m not doing enough, every person the mob hurts, hurts me too. I don’t like seeing those I care about in pain. You included Wade.” Matt knew what Wade was talking about. As if he couldn’t hear Wade’s pulse rev up like a sportbike anytime he mentioned Spider-Man. It’d been going on for months, Deadpool was so easy to get a hold of. Just mentioning the wall crawler could be there and Deadpool would show up like clockwork. It was a nice ace to have up his sleeve if a volatile situation needed combusting. Normally Wade couldn’t be relied on, but he actually was helpful the past few times. He didn’t even kill anyone the last fight they had at the docks. “Is something hurting you now?”

“Well that’s why I’m here. You ever get told you can’t do the thing you really want? Like if the priest told you that you’d prayed too much and that he wouldn’t hear another Hail Mary?” Deadpool sat down, his guns clattering on the rooftop. His legs splayed in front of him like a child sitting for a story.

“Wade church doesn’t work like that, priests are always there in times of need. I think you and I both know that.” It was a clever dig, even Matt had to admit that Wade’s wit was plenty sharp enough to earn his monicker.

“Ok well I don’t know what else you’d be into or broken up about. Maybe if they stopped sending ninjas to New York and you’d have to only fight mobsters. Yeah it’s like that, you WANT to fight ninjas because it’s exciting and fun and exhilarating and new every time,” Deadpool hugged himself, like he was overcome with joy. “but, instead New York only had mafiosos and petty crooks. Just the same boring thing you can get anywhere else.” his arms dropped and his head hung again. Matt could smell tears on Wade’s eyes, he was on the brink of crying.

“I would be more than happy if I never saw another ninja again.” Matt meant that, the city had enough issues without immortal assassin’s harrying him. The only thing ancient orders brought with them was ancient issues.

“What if it was /her/ though, what if she never showed up again because she didn’t want any part of New York and instead you had to deal with Tombstone or Bullseye.” Deadpool barked at him, his voice hoarsening. Matt faced Deadpool, had he told Wade about Elektra? Who had Matt told about her? “Oh if you’re wondering how I know about Nachos girl, literally everyone knows you two are a thing. I'd hear at poker games how people would bait her out since it would throw you off so badly just smelling her.” Was Matt really that bad when she was around? He remembered Foggy telling him she was trouble but that was just because his court cases backed up.

“I don’t know who you’re playing poker with, but I don’t ‘lose my senses’ when I smell someone like some pubescent teen.” This was making Matt uncomfortable, but Wade wasn’t noticing. He was lying down, not relaxed, but lackadaisical. Fully off guard and exposed on the rooftop.

“That makes one of us I guess. I can’t control myself, I’ve fully lost who I am trying to make someone else happy.” His voice was straining, he was holding back trying to be strong.

“Are you sure it’s what would make them happy, or what you think would make them happy?”

“I’m sure I know them and what would make them happy, we’ve spent weeks together. Working on assignments and spending long nights together.” Wade’s voice caught in his throat.

“Nights like this? You know this is just a night out, like any other. Sometimes a night is just a night.”

“Don’t be cheeky, it wasn’t some cheap rooftop in a ratty borough. These were nights in Madripoor, that place is enchanted, there’s magic in that air.” Deadpool looked off wistfully. Daredevil was sure he was imagining another night on another rooftop elsewhere. “DON’T even bother telling me I can’t make someone happy either, I can make anyone smile.”

“That’s true, I’d be lying if I said you haven’t made me crack a grin before. But true happiness isn’t made, it’s something you find and you enjoy it while it’s there.”

“I did find it, it was the sun and the moon all in one. I thought it was mine and that I had somehow cheated fate to have it.” Deadpool doffed his mask to wipe a tear from his eye. He sat up and faced Daredevil. “But, it wasn’t meant to last. You want to hear my confession now Daredevil?”

“That’s what I’m here for Wade, whatever you have to tell me, I’ll hear you.” Daredevil turned his back to the street to face Deadpool.

“I’m in love with Spider-Man and he doesn’t love me the same way.”

#spideypool #deadpool #team red #fan fiction #spider-man #short

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nowhereiswhereibelong · 4 years

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73 Questions

I mas tagged by: @mrs-machinegun-norris about two centuries ago sorry

On a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now?

• 5

Describe yourself in a hashtag?

• #sadbicht

• Cause I'm a bad bicht you can't kill me, only I do that

If you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be?

• Aaron Taylor-Johnson

• Colson Backer

If your life was a musical, what would the marquee say?

• The crazy bisexual is on the loose

What’s one thing people don’t know about you?

• That I cant handle silence

What’s your wake up ritual?

• All my cats and family yells at me till I roll of take my meds and stare at the wall till I'm late

What’s your go to bed ritual?

• Make sure I cleaned the litter box and that my cats have food and water then is up to bed and reading anything and everything till I fall a sleep

What’s your favourite time of day?

• Night time (I get the zoomies), or when I'm home alone

Your go to for having a good laugh?

• I really like comedy and some that make me laugh even when I watched 1000 times: John Mulaney, Daniel Sloss, Russel Howard and Sarah Millican

Dream country to visit?

• As many as I can! I have an extensive list

What’s the biggest surprise you’ve had?

• Last semester 3 professors at university were really supportive and understanding and I didnt expect them to be so kind or belive in me that much.

Heels or flats/sneakers?

• Sneakers everywhere all the time for any given reason

Vintage or new?

• Vintage bits and pisses of different eras but late 80s early 90s give me live

• And I'm obsessed with 70s buildings dont know why

Who do you want to write your obituary?

• An creative stranger - go nuts dude freak people out

Style icon?

• dont have one I guess

What are three things you can’t live without?

• My cats

• My phone

• My guitar

What’s one ingredient you put in everything?

• I'm crazy about mustard

• My dad always says anything salivary can be better with cheese and anything sweet be better with chocolate - not that far from the truth

What 3 people living or dead would you like to make dinner for?

• Elvis Presley

• Jane Fonda

• Janis Joplin

What’s your biggest fear in life?

• Failure

• The dark

Window or aisle seat?

• Window: you can look at the view, it's better for sleeping and during the day sunlight for reading

What’s your current TV obsession?

• A have many, it's a problem, but right now mind hunter

Favourite app?

• Instagram and tumblr

Secret talent?

• I like to lie to myself and say acting but maybe just weirdly good at pretending to be good at things (ain't that the joke huh)

Most adventurous thing you’ve done in your life?

• I would say it was dumb, stupid and streamly dangerous but when I was 16 a friend and I went to some guys house in a very weird neighborhood and lied to our parents about it and only 1 other friend new (also our taxi couldn't find the house). We meet those two guys at a friends party and they said that they were throwing one and that we should go, and our dumb selfdestruting alcohol hunting minds though, why not. It was not a party. It was just a hang out with us and one other guy and to this day I dont know how we left at 7am (the only way to get out of there was the first bus because uber wasn't a thing yet and me and my friend were to scared of what kind taxi driver we would find) unharmed and not sexually harassed, given that one of the dudes that our friends new more hated me for a few months for not putting out for him, cause you know, men.

• I'm absolutely sure they wanted a sex party that didnt happen. But I did show my unasked skills of knowing every single black veil brides lyrics.

How would you define yourself in three words?

• Anxious

• Laud

• Loyal

Favourite piece of clothing you own?

• The stolen 80s tshirts from my dad

• High waisted shorts

Must have clothing item everyone should have?

• A comfortable pair of jean shorts that you feel pretty in

Superpower you would want?

• To stop time

• I get to anxious trying to time manage and it just snowballs from there. And sleeping in without being always late.

What’s inspiring you in life right now?

• Machine Gun Kelly (I stared listening to his stuff a few months ago)

• But always and forever is the passion that moves people

Best piece of advice you’ve received?

• Be/do to other people what you wanted to be done for you

Best advice you’d give your teenage self?

• It's not just on your head it's a real thing, you're lot alone, and it ok to need help.

A book that everyone should read?

• Harry Potter: that even thou I have read multiple times it still is amazing and full of symbolism that people brush through some times.

• Women who run with the wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estés

• My older sister made me start this book and its absolutely live changing and I belive should be obligatory to all women in this world. This book is a live long work by this psychologist and through miths, legends, folk tales and stories she puts together what she calls the wild women archetype and what is the feminine instinct is and how those tales teach us about it and how to have a healthy relationship with her.

What would you like to be remembered for?

• For being kind

How do you define beauty?

• It's an powerfull force within

What do you ~love most~ only love about your body?

• The shape of my eyes

Best way to take a rest/decompress?

• Listening to music and dancing around

Favourite place to view art?

• I dont understand sorry

If your life were a song, what would the title be?

• Static supernova

If you could master one instrument, what would it be?

• Guitar and piano cant choose only one

If you had a tattoo, where would it be?

• My planned ones:

• Orca

• Felix felicis

• Tree

• Mother earth

• Penicillin allergy (I dont trust nobody)

Dolphins or koalas?

• Dolphins

• Did you y'all know that orcas not only aren't whales but belong on the same family as dolphins?

What’s your spirit animal?

• Orca

Best gift you’ve ever received?

• My cats (even thou there are rescues they're my little special gifts from nature)

Best gift you’ve ever given?

• On my best friend wedding my friend and I gave a performance as siluetes (it was private beach and all the light were off and we had the car headlights behind us) I played the song you are in love by taylor swift while she did an beautiful performance on silks the song represented their relationship and how she shared it if us in a very sacred way and the silks was a representation of her herself and how the 3 of us saw in the last few years her transformation from a very broken person to the women she was born to be.

• Yes we were crying the hole time but was the most genuine and beautiful think I ever done so yeah

What’s your favourite board game?

• Dix it, its awesome go play it pls

What’s your favourite colour?

• Petrol blue

Least favourite colour?

• The color of lentil soup my mom makes it looks like a baby have serious digestive problems

Diamonds or pearls?

• Diamonds of the symbolic value of "the pressure that could've break us made us into diamonds insted"

Drugstore makeup or designer?

• Drugstore makeup, the one I know that are real brands hauahauahs

Blow-dry or air-dry?

• Air-dry

Pilates or yoga?

• Pilates even thou I must prefer sports mostly

Coffee or tea?

• My blood is coffee at this point

What’s the weirdest word in the English language?

• Wolrd, because English is not my first language and specially in an American accent the pronunciation of wolrd if simply the worst and is absolutely obnoxious and unsettling.

Dark chocolate or milk chocolate?

• Dark

• But my absolut favored is a 70% cacao white chocolate. It's incredible but I only got to buy it twice :(

Stairs or elevator?

• Stairs, I also love to sit on them

Summer or winter?

• Winter. I only like heat if I'm inside very cold water

You are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat?

• If nutrition value doesn't matter, ice cream

A desert you don’t like?

• Orange cake. Bad memories and I vomit every time I try to eat it.

A skill you’re working on mastering?

• Singing and playing the guitar

Best thing to happen to you today?

• I think I made a online friend :D

Best compliment you’ve ever received?

• That I'm kind

Favourite smell?

• Buttering sugar

Hugs or kisses?

• Hugs i Iike to be permanently attached to some people at times

If you made a documentary, what would it be about?

• Domestic violence

• Parenting

Last piece of content you consumed that made you cry?

• Today I was trying to play this song called Ronan and cryed my eyes out like all the other times I tried before It's a song of child cancer in the mother's perspective

Lipstick or lip gloss?

• Lipstick

• I'm a red matte lip stan

Sweet or savoury?

• Sweet

Girl crush?

• Billie Elish

How you know you’re in love?

• The only time I think I've been in love I only realised it because they left and I didnt understand why i was severely hurt by it and changed the way I created all relationships after that. And then it hit me

• So pain and heartache.... yeah that's depressing as shit

Song you can listen to on repeat?

• When the sun goes down - Arctic Monkeys

If you could switch lives with someone for a day who would it be?

• My own self but not a anxious depressed mess just to feel what it's like

What are you most excited about at this time in your life?

• That I dont need to make decisions

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flamebrain · 5 years

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mattfoggy hcs, straight from the bastard empire sorry these all read like shitepostes(L O N G post under cut you’ve been warned)

WTNV au:

nightvale is just populated by like. vigilantes and other poewered people and foggy shoes up one day like. hey anyone need a lawyer? and the whole town falls in love w him

MURDERDOCK IS KEVIN

matt does radio and talks about foggys perfect hair and perfect teeth and foggy calls in like "heh, thanks dude, but aren't you like blind?" and matt shuts the call off immediatley

everybody knows matt is daredevil because he makes wink wink nudge nudge comments about it like 'ah. it appears that an entity has appeared near the dog park. castle appears to be on the scene now, and...ok, he's got a gun. i cant do anything about that, but my pal (noises of him scrambling and obviously knocking things over) daredevil might be able OKHERESTHEWEATHER" and it cuts off and like. he shows up 5 seconds later to kick frank in the face for using lethal measures AGAIN

EVERY TIME IT CUTS TO THE WEATHER AND THEN CUS BACK AND THE PROBLEM HAS BEEN SOLVED ITS JUST MATT. like. breathing just a little heavier than normal into the mic like. 'so it appears uh. the issue has been resolved thanks again to daredevil and his pal moon knight. such a shame i had to cower under my desk while the weather was on. ok goodnight'

the funky thing abt nightvale in this au is that it's basically just like. new york from 616 but foggy's like. from our earth so he's like HWAT THE FUCK AND AHIT IS GOING ON IN HERE ON THIS DAY AND WHY CANT I LEAVE he gets kidnapped by super villains on like his second day in town and immediatley regrets every life choice he's ever made

matt works at nightvale radio by day and conviently cuts to the weather every time something comes up so sometimes there's like. 7 half hour weather broadcasts a day and the townspeople just. humor him

foggy falls in love with matt after figuring out after .5 seconds that he's daredevil and he saved him from a bunch of baddies on like his second day and matt compliments him on the radio like every day and yeah they're fuckin good ok assorted stupid college hcs: matt and foggy like to chill in each other's beds. foggy doesn't notice that often because matt moves back b4 he gets back and matt pretends not to notice but like. he can smell foggy was there. foggy. stop napping in this bed you're making my sheets smell like you, foggy, i KNOW they're silk and i know you think you're getting away with it but you're NOT,

matt, coming back into the dorm after being out for the day: foggy are you laying on my bed foggy, sitting up straight: nah pal. just sitting on the end for a minute hehe. just had to rest the old joints matt, knowing DAMN well that he was lying down a second ago and he's obviously lying but not being able to say anything; haha ok. move

hrnnn matt knows foggy is gay long before he tells him because he catches him in a lie about who he was out with but he can't say anything and like. he knows foggy is scared to tell him but he doesn't know how to bring it up and he's like. i want him to know he can trust me but i don't know how to tell him i know please foggy

foggys heart goes a mile a minute anytime the subject of being gay comes up around matt and matt wants to yell at him that it's OK and he doesn't care but his hints that he's fine with it seem to fly right over foggys head and so one day he gets so fed up with trying to convince foggy he's chill with gay people he just kisses him. wig

hrnnn. matt doesn't like the snow because it messes with his senses and he can't see but he can't say that to foggy so he just says he doesn't like the cold and foggys like "yeah doofus you weigh like three pounds you're skin and bone compared to me smh" and insists on cuddling him every time he sees matt get like That bc he thinks he's just chilly and it's. oddly comforting to matt because yeah. nobody really Holds him like that, and he Is Cold, and foggy is Warm,

matt gets Very touchey around people he's close with and so when he gets close with foggy he puts his arm around him a lot, rests his head on his shoulder, holds his arm even when they're not going anywhere, etc. foggys heart speeds up every time but matt just assumes that's what people hearts do when that happens because he doesn't really do that with anyone else and hey, he's happy when he does it and his heart maybe spikes a little too, but then he gets someone else's arm to lead him when foggys sick one week and their heart stays the exact same, what's up with that? so then he starts paying attention to all the people on campus, and the touching doesn't usually make the hearts go wild, but, well. matt 'sees' it happens and he's like HaHa, See, This is A Thing, and then he realizes that the people that have it happen to them? they're couples. and he just. freezes because first of all, Foggy- and at him- an- and second, his heart ALSO does a thing, so-

heres a rEALLY stupid unrelated au/hc i got after hearing a friends disater story hfdjhskja matt goes on a blind (hehe) date with a girl and it's pretty much a disaster, it turns out she brought her friend who is also meeting a guy at the same place, and like. she's obviously incredibly wack she says blind people are god's mistake and stupid shit like that so matt gets up halfway through their meal to go sit in the bathroom for 20 minutes while he thinks of an excuse to leave? and eventually a guy comes in and he's like 'uh hey, dude, you in here? your date grabbed her friend and left so we're both dateless now, thats a relief for me and unless you're just having incredibly bad bowel movements i think it's pobably one for you since you Have been in here for like half an hour uh im foggy by the way' and then they go back out and sit together and talk about how wack that fuckin was and like. inadvertent date

hey i can talk a lot of shit about how matt falls asleep on foggy but. sometimes foggy falls asleep on or next to or with matt and matt goes !!!! and he does not move and then he eventually falls asleep with foggy head on his shoulder and his head on foggys and when FOGGY wakes up and realizes matts still there and is ALSO asleep he doesn't move and eventually falls back asleep and then it's just like. waiting until the time aligns that they're both awake at the same time because neither wants to move and wake the other send tweet

SOULMATE AU:

foggy looks up from his college bed, sees matt, and suddenly EVERYTHING is fucking rainbow and he's like 'oh fuck. oh shit. wait. this is a dude' and matt's like 'is everything ok my guy?' because foggy's like. >:O and of course he has no idea because he's blind but foggy doesnt realise this and for a hot minute he;s like "OH FUCK. ITS ONE OF THOSE RARE OCASIONS WHERE HES PERFECT FOR ME BUT I'M NOT FOR HIM," and is about to s o b before he's like wait a fucking minute

yknow the au where like. the first words you hear from your soulmate are marked on your skin at birth? foggy's are 'excuse me', absolutley common, a chance meeting, and he stops jumping every single time he hears them after age 8 when he realises just how many times that phrase is said. matt's are 'yeah, who're you looking for,' but he doesnt remember that, there's no constant reminder of it since he's blind, the nuns wouldn't tell him, the kids made up childish shit like 'poopoo', and stick DEFINITLEY wouldnt fucking tell him because hes stick and hes an asshead and eventually matt stops asking and caring. it takes WEEKS for after they meet for foggy to ask matt about his words and matt just says 'oh yeah, i dont remember. here" and shows foggy and when he sees them he's like. 'hm. sounds familiar' and forgets about it untill like two years later theyre drunk and talking about the first time they met and matt's like 'yeah you asked like 'who'm i looking for and then panicked because i was blind' and foggy's brain just like. short circuits for a whole ass minute and then when it clicks he just goes. "yOU"

TRANS MATT:

matt realises when he's still in the orphanage that mayhaps he hates being not a dude and haha! hes not gonna fucking come out to catholics he knows about That. he tries to tell stick, around the time their closest, and FUCK STICK he refuses to call him anything else or support him becaise stick is a peace of fuck shit FUCK STICK so that scars matt from coming out for a DAMN while so like. when he goes to college he introduces himself to everyone as matt and emails his proffesors like. 'hello please my name is redacted on your forms please call me matt its uh. a nickname' and he's not like. out to anyone but matt is close enought to his deadname that most people don't question it. foggy does, though, a little while after they meet, and matt is so fed up with not telling people and being called the wrong pronouns he just goes 'i want to be a guy ok' and goes absolutley APESHIT when foggy's like 'oh, cool. do you want me to use he pronouns for you' because wait. people are...ok sometimes? and matt's like. about to cry

alternatley: matt says "I don't wanna be a girl." and foggy goes "oh hey are you trans? same hat!" and then foggy tells matt like. binding tips and shit and theyre Good ok

deadpool kills transphobes, sm n dd just fucking beat the SHIT out of them in a back alley and like. they let DP know where they are but whatever happens happens :D

elektra, impaling two transphobes onto the side of a building with her knives: matthew, i know you can hear me, why

one day elektra sees matt has dumped a guy on her roof and just. sighs and goes back inside and matt waits for like 15 minutes before halfheartedly picking up the dude and dropping him off at franks.

matt dropped them off at nats One Time and she went apeshit and hunted down like 20 more of them.

foggy, holding a bat: cmon matt let me kill ONE matt: 'fine but if you get caught im not going to be your lawyer.'

INTO THE DEVILVERSE AU:

earth 14512/TRN700 (peni parker’s universe) matt murdock has a robot seeing eye dog who's also a vigilante

hddjdsjdhdn they all show up to earth 6's foggy and he just. sighs and all the devils start crying because He Is Here

hmm ok. canonically we know nothing about miles's matt but we know he exists and is known figure because miles knows of him but doesn't know he's daredevil i'm Prefty Sure so like. i'm gonna say he's just a successful lawyer who has radarsense but never got yoinked away from the orphanage by stick and never got training so like. hemndhdjsjnow the QUESTION is who finds that matt because there's a Very Different outcome depending on if like. murderdock meets him first or the matt from hobopeters universe does

hmm. murderdock comes in first like gwen does but doesn't out himself as competent w like swords and shit. but he OH HES THE OPPOSING FORCE FOR UH A COURT CASE MATT IS IN AND MATT HAS NO IFEA HOW SIMILAR THEY LOOK BECAUSE HES BLIND HRNNNNNHSHDHDHDJ and then matt from HP's universe comes in like HEY YOURE ME RIGHT. what the FUCK i need the laws in this dimension STAT and murderdock ':"sees" him and is like ah fuck. my goose may be uhhh cooked

ok mileses matt is like 'so what brought y'all here??? hhh???? and murderdock sighs and goes well my boss who's not really my boss from MY universe is doing something stupid here and opened a dimensional portal and it could maybe tear the multiverse apart which i guess i'm not stoked about' and matt's like 'who's your boss?' and murderdock begrudgingly says 'wilson fisk' and matt immediatley goes >:O because he's CONSTANTLY defending people who were injured as a result of what fisk and his company do

anyways. matt immediatley rushes to foggys because "foggys my partner, he's helped me deal with fisk, he knows him, he can help," and he swings open the door and like. one of two things happens actually either A: foggy is like matt. MAATT. AHAT IS GOING ON WH. WHY IS THERE A TALKING DEER WEARNING SPANDEX WHO CLIMBED THROIGH MY WINDOW MATT PLEASE HE SAYS HES Y O U or like. matt walks in and deerdevil is playing pattycake with robodog and daredevil noir is incessantly flirting with foggy and when matt comes in foggys like 'hey. i don't know what's going on but i think i'm trading my best friend'

murderdock is like...the cool college student who tells freshies about weed murderdock: so, you don't know how to fight right matt: no??? i'm blind??? md: but you can kinda see right. matt: yeah like a radar kinda md: normal blind people can't do that you know matt: they wHAT md: you can listen to heartbeats if you try hard enough. you can tell when people are lying matt: i can W H A T md: yeah. what me to teach you how to kill a man matt: W H AT NO IM A L A W Y E R WH

hrnnn the matts in this universe push our matt away to stay with foggy because he doesn't deserve 2 die and you KNOW every matt pushes people away but foggy is like. matt i know you tried it's ok i lov you buddy and he's like HRGGHHHH FUNCK YOU and makes foggy tell him stories untill he can distinguish lies and hide in a place around their office untill matt can like. find him instantly and training montage shit you feel me and he rolls up to the collider in his black pjs like "hello my fellow devil men. i hear you all have no plan. well. i don't either but i'm here" and one matt is like. how did you go-OH YOU DID IT and all the mats high five and cry a littlethey're still reluctant to let matt come help but they're all like. "we're all depressed and suicidal anyways we all have big guilt and if we didn't let him i lnOW he's gonna have big guilt forever he can stay"

THE PENUMBRA PODCAST AU:

foggy is a private eye, kinda depressed a lil bit, and he works w his secretary karen who helps him with tech and stuff because he is god awful at all that

"mike whatevermaggiesmaidennameis" is an occult specialist from dark matters agency assigned by an agent natasha of dark matters to help him with his current case.

foggy does NOT want to do this with any damn occultist or whatever the hell but before he can escape mike shows up and god DAMN is he charming and catches him before he can climb out the window, so. that's that for introductions. anyways, hijinks, elektra is cassandra, if you care listen to the murderous mask, anyhoo foggy stars to notice something is kinda weird about matt but brushes it off. they finish investigating and retrieve an important artifact.

it's cold, mike says. sorry dude, all the places near here are closed, foggy says. is your place? mike asks. oh, says foggy they go back to foggys place and maybe make out a little bit, but foggy realizes oh shit, mike just tried to steal the keys to my safe where i stored the artifact, shit, and plaxces him under arrest before he can do anything, and calls the cop cops.

they come to take mike away, and minutes later foggy finds a note, scrawled INCREDIVLY messily, in his pocket. "sorry," it says, "i wasn't tricking you about anything i said, and i meant everything i did. -matt murdock ps. check around, say, X avenue. you may have to do a bit of cleanup." when foggy checks cameras that overview there, he find the officers that took murdock from his apartment hogtied together, and sees their clothes strewn on the ground - forming letters - with love. their car is gone. PODCAST AU:

matt listens to podcasts a lot right and so foggy is like hmm mayhaps this is a good idea. but the type of podcasts they listen to differs so incredibly like matt listens to serial and the wildest one he listens to is probably judge john hodgman whereas foggy listens to shitpost podcasts like mbmbam and can i pet your dog foggy keeps referencing mbmbam around matt because he just assumes that he listens to it and matt is so confused every time and one day foggy says "damn matt you're really horny for this one huh" and matt just snaps and says FOGGY WHAT DO YOU M E AN

so then they are like oh shit you're not listening to the good ones. no YOURE not listening to the good ones. solution? listen together which means sharing earbuds which means sitting next to eachother on small college bed which means????? cuddling

also eventually they decide fuck it. let's make our own podcast and they combine the mbmbam and jjh format so they get questions and do goofs and stuff and then give actual legal advice but sometimes foggy will be like "ok. here's what you do. you need a cat? go into the pet shelter and take one. what are the gonna do beat you up with their cat toys? didn't think so." and matt starts crying because "Fo g g y WE ARE LAWYERS I KNOW YOURE GOOFING BUT THATS ILLEGAL FOGGY YOI CANT TELL OUR LISTENERS TO GO DO CRIME"

COFFE SHOP AU:

matt has a caffeine addiction and constantly comes to foggys coffee shop and orders one black coffee every morning and foggy eventually is like. hey buddy. do you EVER drink ANYTHING F U N EVER

matts like...no...i need coffee as strong and dark as my soul... and foggys like ok edglelord. wait up i'm about to change your life

foggy makes him a latte that's just a little bit caramelly but not too sweet and he's like here. drink this. no charge you deserve to live a little. also here's your boring edgy coffee you still have to pay me for that one. matt tries it and he's like hmm. not bad, but just not. Good and foggy is like wow fuck you. i'm going to find a good drink for you that isn't this hell water so every morning matt comes in and foggy gives him a black coffee and a free Fun and Cool coffee on the house

matt always is polite even when foggy can tell he DESPISES what foggy made but he's not going to stop untill he finds something god damn it matt

ok anyways they start meeting up more. matt starts taking his breaks in the coffee shop and and foggy hmmm...always seems to have a shift off when matt comes down..hmm. coincidence....hmmm....theo suffers for him by covering all his shifts when matt comes in and he's like well, actually fuck work

eventually foggy is like hey dude. do you wanna test my drinks before they go on the menu or help me perfect my recipes and shit you have a good toungie right (matt goes apeshit, because fuckin FOGGY YOU CABT SAY THAT) but he's like haha yeah. that'd be fun. haha

and then foggy finds out matt is INCREDIBLE at baking when he hands him a cookie and matt goes. hmm. too much flour add a fourth a cup less and a pinch more of saltand he's like??? bitch. i'd like to see you do better. and then matt does

so basically every day foggy closes up a little earlier and lets matt in and they dick around in the kitchen and bake and make coffee and foggys shop gets more and more popular because hey this already really good joint just started selling the most BALLER carrot cAke waht the fucké

anyways fall comes around and foggy is like GUES WHATT ITS TIME FOR WHITE GIRL DRINKS TRY THIS and he gives matt a pumpkin spice latte and matt is like. •.• THIS IS IT. THATS THE ONE

and foggy starts crying MATT PLEASE YOU HAVE TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME. PKEASE MATT, MATT I CANT ADD PSL YEARROUND BECAUSS YOURE A BASIC WHITE BITCH MATT

he bullies foggy into keeping the latte on the menu by threatening to stop helping him bake and foggy is SO OFFENDED, on behalf of good taste everywhere, matt, please,

anyways foggy continues rags on matt for only liking the shittiest fucking drink god damn it matthew fucking hell i make you 3 billion and THIS is the one you pick you disaster and matt is like haha shut up. stoopid

foggy doesn't, and you can guess where this be headed because i'm gay and soft,

matt kisses him and foggys like. ?????????? and matt goes AH FUCK. I COULDNT THINK OF A BETTER WAY TO GET YOU TO SHUT YOUR MOUTH SORRY. GUESS ILL GO and foggy throws cookie dough at him and drags him back over because he's not leaving fuck that. fuck you. and then they're happy and domestic the end

wait i lied matt opens a pro-bono firm in the back of foggy's shop and he gives all his clients freshly baked dessert and coffee and he's so good at being a lawyer and foggy becomes so good @ running his shop that customers keep coming and they're the Cute Gay Couple everyone knows abt and loves

ACCIDENTAL (?) KISSING:

SO. there are so many god damn moments foggy nearly fucking breaks and smooches matt out of sheer unbridled uwu soft feelings. SO MANY. when they win their first mock trial together and matt looks so FUCKING happy and he tells foggy how good they work as a team and foggy is about to lose his mind but he just goes. 'haha yeah' and gives matt a fist bump they finish taking the bar: matt's had to take it in a seperate room, stupid blind accommodations. he finishes first because OF COURSE HE DOES HE'S MATT MURDOCK and the second foggy finishes and leaves the room he sees matt there and he's filled with so many emotions he's about to go apeshit but he manages to contain them JUST enough not to make out with matt on the spot but gives him the tightest fucking hug and matt's like "ok buddy! love you too! please dont break my ribs!" and foggys too happy to notice matt forgot to flinch like he didnt know foggy was coming

Foggy gets the sign to matt and he can tell how fuckin stoked matt is and all he can think about is how grateful he is that the two of them get to work together and fucking do GOOD together and he's trying to express that in his awkward foggy way and he's GOING to kiss him right then and there!! hes about to do it look out world!!! and then matt says "you're NOT going to kiss me" and foggy realises haha YEAH THATD BE A BAD IDEA HUH and jokes it off and gives matt another hug - "i'll be careful not to break the ribs this time, buddy, seems like you've been falling over and hurting yourself enough recently,"-

foggy almost kisses matt out of anger when he finds out he's daredevil, when he won't shut up about how this city needs him and foggy would have done the same and blah, blah, bullshit because maybe then he'd FUCKING listen to him, or at least it'd shut him up, but the honest betrayal he feels - at matt for not telling him and at himself for STILL having a part of him that wants to kiss matt - is enough to get him just to leave : ^)

alright. the gang is watching fisk get carted away and see that SHIT, he's broken out, of course it wasnt going to be this easy. matt puts karen in a taxi goes to run off and foggy grabs him by his coat because MATT. you're not going to go fight fisk in your god damn pajamas right now it's too dangerous you're going to die you stupid son of a bitch idiot

and of course matt doesn't listen, he tells foggy to get back into the car with karen, go to his place, they'll be safe there, and grabs his own taxi

and foggy's left to sit there with karen in the cab as it drives Oh Too Fucking Slowly to matt's, and he's mumbling curses all the way and karen is trying to calm him down, he doesnt know why he's so worried, and all foggy can think about is what if matt dies because i didnt stop him and what if karen never gets to hear it from him and about 10 billion what-ifs that wont leave him the FUCK alone, and he sits next to the windowsill he knows matt comes in through and waits, not even wanting to look at the tv because what if he sees worse news Hrgh

matt beats up fisk and he barely even waits for the cops to get there, he gets one look and confirms 'yup, that's mahoney,' and fucking BOOKS it to his apartment, he climbs through the window and foggy's just sitting there waiting, karens in the next room watching the broadcast at a 3 minute delay on her phone, matt doesnt have a tv hes BLIND >:,\

and when matt comes in, bloody and beaten up and doing That Panting Thing He Does, but definitley alive, foggy just fucking. grabs him by the shoulders and kisses him because HE IS A L I V E !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and matt is suprised but he doesnt even try to protest because he's still riding the adrenaline from the fight

anyways. foggy pulls away for air and says 'you're so fucking stupid and i hate you' and then matt kisses hIM because uhh, thats FOGGY

and it's a minute later that matt senses another heartbeat and realizes karen's standing in the doorway, and she raises an eyebrow and obviously trying not to panic asks 'uh, foggy, pray tell, buddy, why you're making out with the devil in matt's bedroom' and foggy goes apeshit and tries to think of an excuse that doesn't invole 'uh thats matt' but it just kinda comes out as some stupid shit like 'i,,, uh,,,,, secret,...affair,,?i',m....gay." and matt just sighs and pulls off his helmet like "hey karen. it's me. hey karen whats poppin its me blind matt murdock" and needless to say they all have a Lot to talk abt

DRUNK KISSING:

so like. the first year they're together matt and foggy go out a lot, and it's mostly foggy dragging matt places and matt reluctantly coming because A) if someone doesnt watch foggy this idiot is going to puke and pass out in a ditch and B) he really like his company shh. no telling because that gay

anyways matt usually only drinks a little but foggy is mad lightweight right. he doesn't get shitfaced too often, usually only after exams or when he knows he has no classes the next day. when he does get shitfaced though he absolutley loses his shit and becomes even more touchy than usual, which is VERY TOUCHY because fuck you its my au and i get to choose the default affection levels

so basically. once foggy starts hugging matt and leaning on him and whining into his shirt about the 'hot girls' and 'killer nachos' at the party matt knows it's time to head home and foggy is too busy wrapping his arms around matt to notice he's being dragged out untill its too late

and y'know, thats fine, that's usual, all normal friend stuff, except what foggy also has a tendancy to do when he's drunk is kiss matt. sometimes its on his cheeks, or his forehead, or his shirt?? matt doesnt get that one??? and sometimes foggy even tries to go for the lips when hes particularly wilde. matt knows to expect this by the third time they go out, but it's still always a suprise when it happens, because sometimes it'll be out of nowhere when theyre walking back, or foggy'll stop matt and grab his cheeks and kiss him? sometimes they'll get all the way back to the dorm and matt will make foggy lie down and foggy will grab his shirt and pull him close enough to give him a quick peck before rolling over and promptly beggining to snore

which, y'know, is absolutley great for a maybe-gay-for-his-best-friend-catholic. what's also great is that foggy never seems to remember the fact he kissed matt the night before, and if he does, he definitley does NOT bring it up

so that's fine. whatever. thats life and matt will pretend like he doesnt care when foggy gives him a smooch because hes straight and loves girls and jesus christ, no homo, amen

but THEN. . then matt and foggy have been studying for exams for weEKS and theyre FINALLY DONE, FINALLY, and they are both going to get wasted out of their mINDS you better BELIEVE IT

so they do! and eventually they stumble back to their dorm together and sit together on the floor with a half-downed bottle of tequila and matt decides fuck it. he tells foggy he's never kissed a guy and foggy is like "haha cool. i have." matt's like "haha was it good" and foggys like "hell yeah man better than girls" so matts like hmm. "foggy i think i want to kiss a guy" and you can guess where this is goin

foggy is an oblivious little shit and just thinks matt's having a gay awakening so he's like "oh cool" and matt starts vibrating at inhuman frequency because FOGGY THIS IS THE ONE TIME I"M BASICALLY ASKING YOU TO DRUNK KISS ME AND YOU D O N T" so he just goes "haha yeah." and foggy's like "haha yeah"

and then matt chugs the bottle of tequila and says "foggy i think i wanna kiss you" and then he does but he's a good christian and also stupid so he just like. goes mwah on foggy's cheek

and foggy stares at him for like 15 seconds before basiclly challenging him to 'kiss him like a man, murdock, how are you supposed to get the gay experience if you dont go all in' and then they make out for like 20 minutes and life is good

(they both wake up w the worst fucking hangovers and theyre passed out on the floor and matt's like "foggy....im gay..." and foggys like "haha do you remember i kissed you" and matts like "????foggy i kissed YOU" and foggys like "oh yeah you did. you should have done that earlier" and matts says "????you were too busy trying to kiss me" and foggy goes "oh haha i was. cool" and then they fall back asleep...then they.....boyfriend.s)

FLOWER SHOP/TATTOO ARTIST AU:

so. matt is a florist and he runs a little shop across the street from an empty piece of real estate. a tiny place that used to be a deli but had just the WORST sandwiches, it was no wonder they closed down, god damn. anways. matt runs his shop with his best friends kirsten and karen who have IMPECCABLE taste in flowers and less impeccable taste in impulse control and not being huge lesbians.

one day this dude pulls up into matt's shop. his request is maybe the strangest matt's ever heard - 'can you get me two bouquets of like, the most metal flowers you have? like, ones that just look super cool but also, yknow, smell super good and sick and shit?'

matt laughs, and tells the guy that yeah, he can't help with the looks part, but he'll make sure to get him some that smell 'quote' sick and shit, come back tomorrow morning and they'll have some ideas-hey, what are these for anyways?

and the guy tells him, oh, hah, i'm moving in across the street, opening a little tattoo place? wanted some flowers to make it seem more, uhh....welcoming. matt laughs and says yeah, sure, cool, and tells him if he has anymore questions to call the store and ask for matt. the guy tells him if he ever wants a tattoo just cross the street and ask for foggy and unless the flowers matt gives him really suck he won't do him dirty and tattoo a dick on him

so anyways, they have a couple meetings, foggy decides on the flowers he wants and thanks matt and tells him hey, he should come check out the shop, it's opening tomorrow, and foggy wants to be able to point to the guy who did the sick florals. matt doesnt have anything better to do and he likes the sound of this guy's voice so hell, he might as well

when he goes over matt realizes oh shit. he really is out of his element here, but he asks the guy at the counter for 'foggy' and is led over to a corner where foggy's sitting and tattooing...himself? and matt realizes hey. i kind of have no idea what this dude looks like

so he sorta. sits there awkwardly untill he asks like. 'uh. i cant actually see what youre doing' and foggy goes OH IM SO FUCKING STUPID. i'm. man, saying this out loud seems kinda really stupid and cheesy i cant believe i have to do this...i'm....it's one of the flowers in the bouquet you made me....i just thought it looked really neat and smelled good and it....kinda reminds me of you and OK i KNOW that sounds really weird we met like 4 days ago BUT you seem super cool and i kinda hope we can maybe like. be friends or hang out or something,

and matt's like. o//////o yeah okay. uh. thats cool. thats cool uh im sure the flower is really pretty haha i love that type haha UH DO YOU WANT TO GET LUNCH OR SOMETHING haha maybe ill get a flower tattoo one day its pretty cool that you do tattoos UH IM FREE TOMOROW WAIT MAYBE THATS TOO SOON IM SORRY UH IM FREE WEDNESDAYS,

and foggy just kinda laughs and says 'no, tomorrow works,' and hey! they make plans and get coffee together and matt's like so. what tattoos do you have and foggy starts listing a bunch and eventually matt's like :( i wish i could see them they sound beautiful and foggy's like. here. heres my arm can i. yeah ok. and he grabs matts ar,m and he's like ok. feel the skin, its still a little raised can you feel that? ok, run your fingers over here and i can like. tell you wjats there

cue like an hour of sensual arm touching and tattoo explaining and the more matt learns about foggy and his tattoos and the more he hears the way he talks the more he's like A) oh fuck, i kinda really like this guy whos letting me feel up his arms and B) do i want a tattoo? i kind of want a tattoo

anyways. time jump they hang out a bit more, foggy always comes into matt's shop and talks to him in between customers, shows him the patterns he's designing, etc, and one day he comes in with a paper that has a design of some flowers on it and shows it to matt and as he's running his fingers across it he stops and says 'foggy? will you do this to me'

and foggys like 'bud are you sure? first tattoo, right, do you-are you really sure you want to do this, like, when, and wh" and matt's like 'shut up and put this ink in my skin before i chicken out' so matt sits through a PAINFUL ASS TATTOO and when it's done he's like FOGGY CAN I TOUCH IT CAN I TOUCH IT FOGGY CAN I TOUCH IT and foggy has to physically restrain matt from fondling his tattoo because its FRESH MATT

so foggys like 'ok, this is cause for celebration! babys first ink! we;re getting beers cmon' and they both go out to drink and matt's like 'hey foggy...can i touch more of your tattoos' and foggy's like 'uh, sure, i have another armfull,' and they do that for a while untill matt gets to the one foggy did the first time he visited foggy's tattoo parlor and foggy's like hah. remember this one? and matt's like yeah. i do. and they kinda just. sit there for a minute and then foggy's like 'ok. im gonna kiss you now punch me if you hate this, flowerboy' and matt absolutley does not punch him, thank you very much

and when they finish having their moment matt's like 'wow. i shoulda....i shoulda asked to feel you up again way sooner if i knew you were gonna do that' and foggy's like 'hey...i'd let you feel me up anytime' and they both kind of laugh and decide ok, worm, this works, and decide theyre gonna do that more often

they start to go out for drinks / dinner / lunch / any time they possibly can, and matt learns the curvature of foggys (suprisingly muscley?) arms down to a t, but he runs out of space to run his fingers over one night, and foggy kisses him and says 'hey. i've got more tattoos, y'know, but i don't think many people would appreciate it if i showed them off to you here' and matt is like 'wh-O H'

and foggy laughs and drags him to his apartment and pulls of his shirt and says 'ok, we're alone now. tell me what you feel' and matt sits on the bed in front of him and theres lots of sensual chest stroking going on and then yeah. matt gets fed up with all this touching foggy and not enough of foggy touching him and. they fuck oopsie

and after that they decide worm. that was good, wanna do that more often, holy shit, and decide to actually date date and thats like. thats that babey!

but years later they open a joint shop, an absolute mess of soft/punk aesthetics and everyone knows them because matt is still a soft florist who just has a fewwwww dozen flowers inked all over him and foggy is the punk god who flexes his sleeves all over town but flexes his soft boyfriend husband even more tHE END

#long post #mattfoggy #hcs

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tenaciousarcadeexpert · 5 years

Text

Criminal Minds-The Good Ol Days

Tagging: @marvelfanlife, @itsmeedee, @cynbx, @jaqren, @gabriellewritermua, @princesswagger15, @screaminginbi, @tleighstone12, @cosmicmelaninflower

A collaboration fic with @princesswagger15

Chapter 7-Hangover

Elle was getting hammered, drinking tons of beer to the point that she was loosening herself at the party along with the others. She was partying so hard to the point that she ran out and puked on the nearest tree she could find. After pacing herself, she took the time to catch her breath as she tries to recover. She then got up and looked around to see her surroundings, with her vision all a blur. She saw several couples making out, a person smoking a cigarette. She shielded her eyes from the light and continued to look around and saw a couple arguing. Although her vision was still a haze, she could recognize from the sound of her voice that it was Meadows who was arguing with a man, whether it was a guest or a boyfriend, the sight of her slapping him when he tries to win her over prompted her to snicker.

“Poor girl.” She looked away, only to notice the young man leaving, where she sees a person in a coat walking past Meadows carrying a luggage. She then squint her eyes as she tries to get a better look at the person. Due to her hazy vision, she couldn’t get a exact look at the person, though judging by the coat, the type of suitcase and body language, she sensed that it wasn’t a student, possibly a teacher perhaps. The real question is why carry a suitcase this late at night, especially one that’s travel sized. Curious, she then decides to follow the person.

At the same some, Kate, was starting to feel a bit more relaxed as she briefly laughed and chatted with others. Although not as wasted and hungover as her friends, she started to feel a bit light-headed and decided to call it a night and leave the party when she sees Elle walking out, still feeling tipsy. Worried about her, she decides to follow her. In the meantime, Elle continues to follow the person, still curious about the suitcase he or she is carrying. She continues to follow the person all the way to the teacher’s parking lot when she accidentally steps on a twig. Panicking, she hides behind a car as the person looks around. Just then, the person’s phone rang. Elle carefully tilt her head to the side as she tries to hear what the person is saying.

“Hello David? Yeah, I got everything. What do you want me to do with them? In the cabin? Okay, okay, I’ll be there.” The person then looked around to see no one else present in the parking lot before continuing. “No, I uh made sure that I wasn’t being followed. Okay, I’ll see you there.” The person hung up as they opened the back door of a gray Toyota camry car, placing the suitcase in and closing and getting inside. Elle cautiously stood up as the person drives away. As she slowly walks back, she suddenly felt a hand touching her shoulder.

“What the-” She gasped and turned around to see Kate standing right behind her. “Jesus Christ Kate. What the hell?”

“What are you doing here?” She stammered, motioning her hand. “I-I was, I was just, I-” She sighs. “I-I thought I just saw something, so I guess I ended up here.”

Kate crossed her arms.“What did you see?” “A person in a gray coat carrying a large suitcase and I could’ve sworn I saw something peeking out of it. She was even calling someone named ‘David’”

She cupped her friend’s face. “Elle, you’re drunk, maybe you were just seeing things.” “No, no. I swear what I’m saying is true. A person was here and was calling someone, saying to meet at the ‘usual place’.” “My god Elle. Why were you even following the person? It could be a professor that was just going home.” “B-b-but I-” “Elle, just leave it. Now come on, we should get going. The party wiped me out.” Kate then grabs her hand, only for Elle to pull back before she could touch her wrist.

“You know what? Forget it.”

“Elle I-”

“I said forget it! Sorry to even bother telling you.” She turned her back away. “Besides, I’m drunk anyway.” She then walks away, feeling hurt. All Kate could do was look on, helplessly. She may be drunk, but she might have a point, if only she could’ve took the time to hear what she had to say.

------------------------------------------

The next day, everyone were completely wiped out from the party. The building reeked of alcohol, cigarettes and vomit. Pieces of clothing were discarded everywhere on the floor, hanging on the ceiling and even on the bushes. The next morning was a mess and everyone would suffer the consequences of last night.

JJ woke up to the sounds of her alarm clock buzzing. All she could remember was walking back to the dorm, still drenched and collapsing onto the bed. The first thing she saw was Ashley hovering above her.

“JJ……..” Her voice echoed. She lift her eyes up as the sight of her roommate still swirls around her. Still, Ashley kept trying to wake her up.

“Hmm…..” JJ said, still trying to adjust to the light.

“JJ…...JJ! Wake up!”

“HOLY SHIIT!” She jerked up the bed, starting Ashley. She then looked around to find herself back in her dorm and saw that her alarm clock was still ringing. She then turned her alarm clock off. “A-are you alright?”

“I-I don’t know….. I guess.” She catched her breath. “What happened? What time is it?”

“It’s uh……….. 11:35 am.”

“Wait what?” She then picked up her clock and looked at the time. “Crap!” She clutched her head. “Didn’t Hotch say that we were supposed to meet today?” “Yeah…….shit, I overslept.” She then smelled her clothes and hair. “And I smell like chlorine…….fuck.”

“Well, it’s almost noon and Hotch told us that we have to meet by twelve.”

“Damn, do you think I’ve got time for a shower?”

“I don’t know.” Ashley then leaned over to sniff her friend. “Ugh, you probably need to take a two hour shower.”

“Oh shit, I don’t have two hours, I have less than twenty minutes to get ready. What should I do?”

“Change bra, panties, shirt and pants. Put your hair in a ponytail.”

“What about the smell? Do you have any perfume?”

“Yea I should, just look on my table.” Ashley goes through her drawer, taking out bottle of lavender scented perfume. “How’s this?”

“Ooooo gimme.” JJ snatched the bottle from her hands as she frantically grabs random pieces of clothing. “Thank you.” “You’re welcome. Now hurry.”

“On it!”

-------------------------------------

A couple of hours ago, Matt was in a deep sleep, still enjoying that sweet and steamy night of passion he had with Kristy last night. He tossed and turned, recalling each moment of the hot sex. Just then, he suddenly woke up from his long and peaceful slumber to see Hotch staring down, smirking at him.

“Good morning sleeping beauty.”

“H-hi Hotch.” He rubbed his eyes.

“Had a nice rest?”

“Uhh yea I did.” Matt said as he covered himself as best as he could. Still, he couldn’t help but notice his roommate giving him a smug look. “Uh Hotch, why are you staring at me like that?” “Oh nothing, just hear you moan Kristy’s name in your sleep but you know, no big deal…” Hotch looked at Matt expectantly.

“W-wha wait what?” He stammered. “I was?”

Hotch nods. “Did you and Kristy…….you know what last night??”

Matt then looks away from Hotch, trying to get away from his searching gaze. “Uh…...I have no idea what you’re talking about-”

“Matt.......”

“Uh.......yea this isn't going to be easy to explain, is it?”

“HAHAHAHAHAH N O P E ! !”

“Yep, figured.” He then took a deep breath and sat upright on his bed. “Alright, it’s true, we fucked. In my car.”

Just then, Hotch cracked open a large smile and laughed. “Oh man, I knew it, I knew it!” “W-wait a second, you knew?” He scoffs. “I mean, I had a feeling you did, and it wasn’t just hearing you moan her name in your sleep.” Just then, Hotch stood up as he pulls out a pair of blue panties that was partially ripped. “I found this peeking out in your jacket pocket.” He then tossed them to Matt. “And I also saw a couple of hickeys on your neck. Seems like you two had a hell of a night.”

“In fairness, Kristy and I are in a relationship now. It’s not our fault that we decided to make it official by getting it on in my car.”

“Well, I hope you know that you need to hide that hickey before we go out today.”

“What? Cause I'll be teased at by the others? We were literally in our underwear before. I don't think there's anything more humiliating than that.”

“Hmm, all I can say is that with the moaning, the panties and hickeys, Kristy sure isn't disappointed is she?”

“No, she wasn't…” Matt said smirking and looking down at his hands.

“HAHAHA! NICE”

“Yes, she was…... she was rather........impressed.”

“Woow. I don’t know what to say, but damn Matt, you've got game.”

He chuckled. “Thanks.” He then got up from the bed and took off his pants. “Well... What about you Hotch? Have you and Hailey......?” He asked as he puts on a pair of jeans.

“I uhhhhhhhhhh...................................................................................no…we didn't.”

“WHHHAAAAAATTTT??!”

“Yea I know.”

“Why?!”

“I don’t know, I guess we weren't.............ready.”

“Oh okay.”

“Yea” Hotch croaked.

Matt then continues to find a shirt, but to no avail, given the hickeys on his neck. “Well.... Do you have any idea on how I can hide the hickey?”

“I don’t know, I don't have makeup.”

“Hmmm......Maybe we can ask Garcia?”

“Oh hohohohohohoho, you really want Garcia to know about that special little hickey you got on your neck because of you and Kristy fucking in a car yesterday?”

“I DONT SEE YOU GIVING ANY FUCKING IDEAS! HAHAH DO YOU WANNA HELP ME?”

Hotch scratched his head. “S-s-say you got bit by a mosquito?” He then shrugs his shoulders at Matt.

He sighs. “Oh Hotch. No offense but you're no help to me man!”

“Oh I'm sorry that I couldn't help you cause you let your girlfriend bite your neck like a bat!”

“At least I actually bang my girlfriend!”

“Well, at least I don't have to worry about hiding a goddamn hickey on my neck!”

“Gee, well could you at least just be my FRIEND AND HELP ME?!”

“How? I don't have anything else on me but the clothes I'm wearing.”

“Would white deodorant hide it?”

“Maybe but barely,” He then rubbed his chin as he tries to help his friend out. “Though I do have a turtleneck in my closet, but I-”

“PLEASE LET ME BORROW IT!!!”

“You sure? I don't even know what size you are. Who knows, you might be....."bigger" than me.”

“Let me try it on! Come on man, you know they’ll attack me once they see this.” Matt said as he pointed to his hickey.

“Uhhhhhhhhhh okay.” He then hands him the green turtleneck.

Matt then takes it and tries to pull it down around his body with no luck.

“Yeah no Matt, that won’t fit you.”

“No, no, no, no, I got this Hotch.”

Hotch then walk up to his roommate as he tries to help him out. “Just give it back! It wont fit!”

“No no, I can fit, I just need to keep pulling.”

“Matt give it back! I swear if you rip it-” Hotch was then interrupted by the sound of the sweater ripping.

“H-Hotch I-”

“MATT WHAT THE FUCK!”

“Okay, I'm sorry I really am, you were right, I should have listened to you but I didn't.”

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” He screamed as he looked down on his beloved turtleneck sweater. “That was my favorite sweater. Why, why?”

“I’M SORRY. I truly am, I didn't mean to rip it. I'll buy you a new sweater, with my own money.” Matt reassured Hotch as he continues to mourn his ripped turtleneck.

“Matt...... my grandma made this for me!”

“Oh well.........shit. I’m so sorry.”

“Tell you what, don’t hide the hickey and let everyone make fun of you and we're even. Deal?”

“Okay fine.” He sighs as he puts on a random navy blue shirt.

“Lets go.” Hotch says as they both walk out the door.

Just as they leave, they saw Reid dragging his feet as he walks pass their dorm. As he walks past them, they noticed how he wasn’t walking but was limping instead. They couldn’t help but wonder what’s gotten into him.

“Uhh hey Spence.” Said Matt.

Reid slowly turned around. “Uh, hey guys. Didn’t see you there.”

“Nice walk- er limp you got going on.” Hotch said.

“Oh uhhhhhhh, I tripped on a loose pavement stone during the walk back. It still kinda hurts.” He grunts.

“Uh, you okay Reid?” “Uh yeah.” Reid waved his arm. “ Yeah, just feeling a bit tipsy, that’s all. I’m gonna head to my dorm and.” He then tries to away away, only to collapse and stumble to the floor.

“Reid! You okay?!” Matt said, leaning down to help Reid.

“I don’t know, maybe, maybe not.” He struggles to lift himself. “Ow, my knees.” “Alright, let’s get him up.” Hotch yells as he and Matt pull Reid up, carrying him into their dorm and placing him on Hotch’s bed.

“Thanks guys.”

“No problem.” Matt responds. “What happened to you?”

“What do you mean? I tripped on my way here.” “No no no no something happened to make you limp like that.”

Hotch then sat beside the skinny brunette. “Come on Reid, you can tell us what happened.”

“Uh……….” Reid hesitated.

Matt then closed the door. “Don’t worry, we won’t make you of or judge you Reid. We promise.”

“You sure about that. I don’t know if you guys can handle the truth.”

“Reid, we can handle anything you tell us, and it wont leave this room unless you want it to okay?” Hotch said.

“Okay.” Reid nods. “I think I can trust you guys.” He took a deep breath as he opens up. “About what I said earlier, that I tripped. That was a lie.” “We know.” “Anyway, the truth is….that I was walking back from the girl’s dormitory. After the party, Marissa and I headed to her dorm. We played video games, ate ice cream and we……..” He rubbed two of his fingers as he hesitated in finishing up his sentence.

“OOOOO I think I get it!” Matt shouted.

“Yeah, I lost my virginity and ahh-” He clutched the right side of his body. “I’m in so much pain right now.”

“That’s what it was like for me my first time. I was so happy, but soooooo sore.”

“Really? What was it like?”

“Well when I first woke up, everything was fine. But then I made the HUGE mistake and made a quick, sudden movement and for the next two days, I had to walk so slowly.”

“Wow, tha-” Just then, Reid looked across from Matt’s bed to see something small and blue. “Is that a-” “Yes Spence, that’s a woman’s panty on my bed.” He then pick it up and puts it in his closet while Hotch covers his mouth, trying not to laugh. “You’re not the only one that got some last night.”

“Cool. What about you Hotch-” “No, I didn’t get laid last night.” “Oh, okay.” He then picks up a small mirror as he pulls down the collar of his shirt, revealing multiple hickeys on his neck and collarbone.

“Woah.” Hotch and Matt looked on.

“Yeah, and that’s not all. These things are everywhere…..e v e r y w h e r e.”

“Damn Spencer.”

“Though, you’re not the only one.” Matt then pulled down the collar of his shirt, also revealing multiple hickeys on his neck and collarbone.

“Damn Matt, you got game.” Reid said, surprised.

“Yeah, I did.” He chuckled. “But look at you, you love marks yourself. You got some game too Reid.”

“Yeah, but what am I gonna do? I can barely walk, I lost a couple of buttons on my favorite shirt, and I don’t know how to conceal these little bites and scratches on my body. I look like i lost a fight with a paper and pen.”

Hotch and Matt looked at each other before turning their focus back on Reid. “Tell you what, if the guys ask, say you got beat up by a bear and barely escaped.” Matt said.

“Really Matt?” Hotch said, facepalming. “That’s the most unrealistic thing I have ever heard.”

“Well, do you have a better idea?”

“Say, ummm y-you fell down a rocky hill.” He shrugged his shoulders.

“You guys are worse than Derek and Luke. Maybe I’ll just let them tease me. This could be karma for accidentally letting you guys strip down in your underwear in front of the girls.”

“I mean if you really want to step into the lion’s den then okay.”

“Yeah, though I also would’ve suggest wearing my turtleneck, had someone not…..”

“I SAID I WAS SORRY!”

“Well it ain’t gonna bring my turtleneck back is it?!”

“.......No.” “Guys, guys, it’s fine, it’s fine. I’ve been through a lot worse than that. Hmmm…...maybe I could wear a scarf. Yeah that’s sounds nice.”

“Oh okay, cool.”

“So……….are we good?”

Both Matt and Hotch nodded. “Yeah, we’re good.” “Cool……….uh, you mind helping me to my dorm? So that I could change?” “Oh yeah, right.” The two then helped their friend up as they escort him to his dorm.

---------------------------------------

Elsewhere, Garcia tossed and turn, feeling a thick and lumpy blanket as she rubbed her eyes and woke up to find herself in a bed that clearly was not hers. “What the-” She lifted herself from the bed, looking around, seeing that she wasn’t in her dorm, but a guys dorm.

“Where am I?” She thought. As she looked around, she suddenly looked down and gasped when she finds herself in her bra and underwear.

“What the-why, why am I half naked? Where’s my dress? Where’s my dress?” She panicked, scrambling around as she looks for her dress till she found her dress folded neatly on the desk. “Got you!” Just then, she suddenly gasped as she heard the door open. “Oh no, oh no.” She panics and frantically struggles in putting her dress on, just when the door opens and closes. Garcia then screams and hides behind the other side of the bed. A few seconds later, she carefully peeks up as the first thing she saw was a couple of wet legs. She then scrolls up to see none other than Luke Alvez hovering above her, in nothing my a towel.

“Uh I-I” Luke didn’t bother saying anything, other than picking up her discarded short-sleeved cardigan.

“T-thanks” She stammered as she takes the cardigan from his hand. She then awkwardly walks away, not saying any words. “Garcia?” “Yeah?” “We’re supposed to meet up today.” “M-meet?” “Hotch and the others. We’re supposed to meet up by the forest today.” “Oh yeah. I’ll be there.” “Garcia I-” Before he could say anything, she closed the door. Just as she was walking away, she quietly mutters at herself, getting all flustered as she has no memory of what happened the night before, apart from blacking out. But whatever it was, it lead to Luke coming back in a towel. Thinking that they had a one night stand, she then gets all flustered thinking about it and Luke.

--------------------------------------------

“Emily, Emily!” The mousy brunette woke up to see Tara on her bed. “What is it?” She rubbed her eyes. “It’s ten, and it’s Sunday, which means……” “Shit.” She clutched her head. “We’re supposed to meet up with Hotch and the gang today.” “I know…...we should probably get ready.” “Yes…….or……………….we can stay here for a few more minutes. It’s only ten, we still have time.” She cupped Tara’s face. She smiled back in return and kiss her. Seems like a few more minutes wouldn’t hurt.

-------------------------------

By noon, everyone finally met, right near the entrance of the forest, though everyone were still hungover from yesterday. Garcia continues to keep her distance from Luke, Derek and Matt talking about their sexual conquests and the hickeys that they got from their girlfriends, Kate struggling to stay awake, Tara and Emily still being affectionate and teasing one another, Reid still sore from having sex with Marissa and trying to conceal his soreness but to no avail and Elle still thinking about what she saw last night. Hotch couldn’t help but look on dismay, seeing that everyone was a wreck, including himself. Just then, he noticed that the group is not complete.

“Wait a sec, where’s J-” “I’m here! I’m here!” JJ and Ashley ran up to them, touching their knees as they catch their breath. “Sorry we’re late.” “Jesus JJ. What the hell happen to both of you?” Kate asked.

“Long story, I overslept, but we’re here now. We’re here.” Hotch then sighs. “Okay. Now, that we’re all here, I guess we should all get going. With the sun still up, we can still see the path on the way back as well as the shortcut the girls found the other day.. Hopefully, this won’t be an issue anymore. Any questions?” No one said anything. “Good, now let’s roll.” The rest of the gang nods in agreement as they walk through the entrance of the forest. Hopefully they don’t get lost this time.

#elle greenaway #kate callahan #jennifer jareau #ashley seaver #matt simmons #aaron hotchner #spencer reid #penelope garcia #luke alvez #emily prentiss #tara lewis #derek morgan #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds au #the good ol days

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