#though I have no clue how that could work for tweets

[bestdriltweet]

SEMI-FINALS ARE OVER!

The candles tweet and the motorcycle tweet have won out with 11-point and 14-point margin respectively. These were literally the 1 and 2 seed, which proves that I must be some sort of predictive genius who should be spending less time thinking about silly tweets and more time gambling.

I'll leave any remaining commentary for after our grand finale. The FINAL ROUND of the DRIL TWEET TOURNAMENT (Season 1) starts NOW!

[mariacallous]

In mid-September, Russians at War, a documentary by the Russian Canadian filmmaker Anastasia Trofimova, was supposed to be screened at the Toronto International Film Festival. At the last minute, after protests from the Ukrainian community and the office of Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky, the festival first pulled the picture, only to return it to the program a week later.

What made the documentary so controversial was that, although many films have chronicled the devastation caused by Russia’s ongoing invasion of Ukraine, including the Oscar-winning 20 Days in Mariupol, Trofimova’s work focused on the invaders. The filmmaker, embedded with a Russian unit for seven months, humanized Moscow’s troops as lost, confused, and disheveled. The men joke, miss their families, and even criticize the Russian government, though they never speak against Putin. A love-on-the-front-lines plot trains the viewer’s sympathy on the soldiers, even while the film avoids any reference to atrocities committed by Russian forces in Ukraine.

So is Russians at War a propaganda film, as its Ukrainian critics argue? Financed in part by the Canada Media Fund and produced in partnership with Ontario’s public broadcaster TVO, Russians at War avoids the trope of “Russian savior liberates ancestral lands from NATO invaders” that is typical of Kremlin propaganda. But all of Trofimova’s previous documentaries, filmed in Syria, the Democratic Republic of the Congo, and Iraq, were made for RT—the Kremlin’s global propaganda network. In an interview with Deadline, Trofimova claimed that she embedded with a Russian unit without any military authorization, and just “stuck around.” In a country where a Wall Street Journal reporter gets sentenced to 16 years for merely handling a piece of paper, an independent filmmaker roaming the front lines, filming military installations, and interviewing soldiers without facing repercussions raises questions. Trofimova did not respond to a request for comment for this article.

One thing that the confused response to Russians at War makes clear is that eight years after the revelation that Moscow attempted to influence a U.S. presidential election, most Westerners still don’t really know how Russian propaganda campaigns work. Americans have become familiar with AI botnets, salaried trolls tweeting in broken English about Texas secession, deranged Russian TV hosts calling for a nuclear strike on New York, and alt-right has-beens. But what to make of a French and Canadian documentary, tucked between Pharrell’s Lego-animated film and a Q&A with Zoe Saldaña, that seems cozy with the Russian military and blurs the line between entertainment and politics?

Here is a clue: The Kremlin’s information war in the West is reminiscent of the one it fought—and won—on the home front. I know this because I was in that earlier war, and, regrettably, I fought on the wrong side.

I began working for Kremlin-linked media during my junior year in college. At the time, the Russian government was apparently hoping that by leveraging high energy prices, it could regain a bit of the influence it had lost after the Cold War. The state called this being an “energy superpower.” In practice, high oil and gas prices abroad translated into more Michelin chefs, German cars, and Italian suits for the select few at home.

In 2005, a close friend introduced me to Konstantin Rykov, known as the godfather of the Russian internet and, later, the man who revolutionized digital propaganda in Russia. In 1998, he launched a website called fuck.ru, which included a provocative magazine and mixed Moscow nightlife, humor, and art. With a blend of pop culture and media savvy, Rykov built an empire of news websites, tabloids, and even online games.

Rykov’s latest endeavor at the time of our meeting was The Bourgeois Journal, a glossy luxury-lifestyle magazine aimed at Russia’s affluent class. He hired me to head up the St. Petersburg bureau, not because of my background in student journalism, but in large part because I grew up in Boston, meaning that I was fluent in English and, apparently, the ways of the West. During my interview (a sushi-and-vodka breakfast), the word Kremlin never came up.

Rykov made the Journal available, for free, only at the most exclusive restaurants, gyms, private clinics, and five-star hotels. Inside, between ads for Richard Mille watches and prime London real estate, were interviews with figures such as Vladimir Medinsky and Alexander Dugin—now the ideologues behind Russia’s war in Ukraine. In a single issue, you could read a review of a restaurant located in a 15th-century building in Maastricht, an essay about the West’s fear of a strong Russia, and a report from Art Basel. The Bourgeois Journal used luxury to mask propaganda aimed at Russia’s elite.

Like many people working in Russian propaganda at the time, I didn’t agree with the narrative that my publication was spreading. And, as most people in propaganda will tell you, I was simply doing my job. I was there a little over a year—selling ads, reviewing restaurants, and occasionally interviewing a Western celebrity. The tedious essays on Russia’s place in the world were outweighed by the benefits of running a magazine for the rich: private palaces, private parties, and escapes to the Caribbean sun—something that the birthplace of Dostoyevsky had little of.

After the success of The Bourgeois Journal, Rykov launched Russia.ru, the country’s first online television network, in 2007. Here, pro-Kremlin news ran alongside obscene reality shows, attracting nearly 2.5 million viewers a month. The network’s slogan, “Glory to Russia”—now a battle cry in Russia’s war in Ukraine—demonstrated just how seamlessly Rykov blended patriotism with entertainment to reach an enormous audience.

Building on this, Rykov introduced ZaPutina (“For Putin”), a movement designed to help Vladimir Putin secure an unconstitutional third term. The project included an online platform that aggregated news from various sources, including original reporting from its own correspondents; a ZaPutina campaign bus to take Kremlin-loyal bloggers across the country; and attractive women—proto-influencers—who attended press conferences, introducing themselves by name and their outlet (“For Putin”) before asking their questions.

My biggest contribution to Russian propaganda came in 2009. By then, Russia was positioning itself as an inventive, Western-oriented economy. Vladislav Surkov—an adman, a poet, a columnist, and a Kremlin ideologue—dubbed this period one of “managed democracy,” which will likely be remembered as the midpoint between Russia’s post-Soviet anarchy and its modern-day fascism. Political parties were numerous, but all controlled from the Kremlin, as was almost every form of media. Yet the country sought a veneer of freedom. That’s where Honest Monday came in—a prime-time talk show that I co-created, wrote, and co-produced.

Our remit was to reach the sorts of viewers who ignored the in-your-face messaging of broadcast talk shows. Each week, the Kremlin assigned these shows a topic it wanted highlighted, and most would comply in a very blunt fashion: Do this, vote for that, Russia’s great. With a young host and a flashy studio modeled on French TV, Honest Monday took a different approach. Every week, I wrote up a summary of the left, center, and right perspectives on the topic we were given; I also delineated a viewpoint that reflected the Kremlin’s stance on the matter and sketched a justification for why this view was better than the other three. The producers would then scour the country for guests whose views reflected each of the three perspectives. The three speakers—politicians, celebrities, or pundits—had to defend their stance to, say, a factory worker we flew in from Siberia whose experience was relevant to the topic we covered. The debates were real, many of them heated, and with views contradicting the Kremlin’s. Still, the house always won.

Toward the end of our first season, the ratings for Honest Monday dipped, and the Kremlin’s tolerance waned. The network introduced a new director. As I recall, he outlined for us his vision of the show’s future: “When the viewers tune in, the first thing they should do is shit themselves.”

The Kremlin instructed us to take aim at the powerless Russian opposition, and in a matter of weeks, the messaging turned into outright bashing of everything that stood against Putin. I resigned—publicly—by sanctimoniously calling the show’s producers and host “Kremlin shills.” A couple of years later, two people connected with the Russian propaganda machine lured me outside and assaulted me in broad daylight (one of them later tweeted that he was motivated by a personal issue rather than a political one). When I hit the ground, half a mile from the Kremlin, I was finally out of the game.

Perhaps Rykov’s greatest contribution to Russian propaganda remains his cadre of media managers and propagandists, who now grace Kremlin corridors (and U.S. Treasury sanctions lists). One such protégé was Vladimir Tabak. Formerly a producer at Russia.ru, he rose to prominence in 2010, when he organized a now-infamous birthday calendar for Putin, featuring 12 female students posing in lingerie and captioned with quotes like “I love you,” “Who else but you?,” and “You’re only better with age.” The calendar, designed to create buzz and cultivate Putin’s image, dominated the news cycle for weeks. In an interview with the model Naomi Campbell, Putin even commented on how much he liked it. Legend has it that Surkov personally approved the project.

Although Tabak’s initial endeavor may have seemed playful, his later efforts illustrate just how insidious his propaganda techniques have become. Since 2020, Tabak has led Dialog, a powerful, Kremlin-affiliated organization tasked with controlling and shaping all social-media narratives in the country. If someone uses social media to criticize, say, the mayor of a small town, Dialog knows about it. According to a joint investigation by the independent Russian outlets Meduza, The Bell, and iStories, the organization took on a significant role during the coronavirus pandemic, virtually monopolizing the flow of COVID-related information in Russia by launching the website Stopkoronavirus.rf as the primary source for daily pandemic updates (the investigation report notes that Dialog denies being associated with this site).

At the height of the pandemic, the Kremlin decided to hold a vote on constitutional amendments that would allow Putin to serve two more terms, and Dialog immediately shifted to encouraging people to go to the polls, downplaying COVID-19 concerns. Later, after the full-scale invasion of Ukraine, Dialog was reportedly tasked with spreading fake news about the war not just in Russia, but in Ukraine. Some of the narratives included Ukrainian soldiers selling their awards on eBay, high-ranking Ukrainian officials owning expensive property in the European Union, and Kyiv ordering the mobilization of women.

Tabak’s organization has become a key player in Russia’s digital warfare abroad, including in its most recent campaign targeting Western audiences. On September 4, the U.S. Justice Department seized numerous internet domains allegedly involved in Russia’s Doppelganger campaign—an influence operation designed to undermine international support for Ukraine and bolster pro-Russian interests. The domains, many of them made to resemble legitimate news outlets, were linked to Russian companies, including Dialog. According to an unsealed affidavit, the goal of the operation was to spread covert Russian propaganda, manipulate voter sentiment, and influence the 2024 U.S. presidential election.

Doppelganger appears to be a sophisticated operation that used deepfakes, AI, and cybersquatting (registering domains designed to mimic legitimate websites). But the Kremlin’s real innovations were those it employed in Russia in the 1990s; in the West today, it is simply repeating the same playbook using new technology. Washingtonpost.pm, a fake news website created to spread Russian propaganda, was an evolution of the fake newspapers that circulated in Russia during the ’90s ahead of elections. The purpose of those outlets—made to resemble legitimate media but filled with kompromat, gossip, and propaganda—was to get the right people elected.

Since the start of the full-scale invasion of Ukraine, Russian propaganda has churned out absurd and repulsive lies, such as that Ukraine has biolabs where NATO scientists are working on a virus that targets Slavic DNA, and that Zelensky, who is Jewish, presides over a neo-Nazi regime. Yet, in a way, it has become honest with itself—at least for the domestic audience. There’s no longer a need for platforms like Russia.ru or The Journal, because the message is clear: This is who we are, and you’re either with us or against us. And yet, the entertainment aspect didn’t disappear. Rather, it was absorbed into the propaganda machine through the Institute for Internet Development.

Founded in 2015 with Kremlin backing, and currently under the direction of the former Journal producer Alexey Goreslavsky, the IID helps direct state funds toward producing everything from box-office releases to YouTube videos, blogs, and video games. With a yearly budget of more than $200 million, it dwarfs any private film studio or streaming platform in Russia.

Since the full-scale invasion of Ukraine, the institute has become the go-to hub for content. Initially, its output was dull and overtly propagandistic, but that has changed. Its catalog now includes 20/22, a TV series about a soldier fighting in Ukraine and his anti-war girlfriend, as well as A Thug’s Word, a 1980s period piece about a street gang, which became the No. 1 show in Russia and surprisingly popular in Ukraine—much to the dismay of the Ukrainian government. A Thug’s Word contains no politics, no war, and no Putin, yet IID—a propaganda organization—considers it its greatest success, because it legitimized the institute in the world of popular entertainment, which it fought so hard to break into.

One reason Russian propaganda is running circles around the West is that the internet was one of the few domains where the Russian state arrived late, forcing it to co-opt those who understood it. RuNet, the Russian segment of the World Wide Web, was created—and run—by people like Rykov: artsy 20-somethings, filled with cynicism, post-Soviet disillusionment, and a cyberpunk mentality. The collapse of the Soviet Union taught them that truth was whatever they wanted it to be, and that survival was the ultimate goal. The advertising executives, philosophy students, and creatives who once made video art, lewd calendars, and scandalous zines are the same minds who in 2016 said, “Let’s make memes about Hillary Clinton,” and in 2024 suggested using AI to flood X with believable comments. In many ways, this confrontation mirrors what’s happening in Ukraine: This time, however, the West is the massive, unwieldy force being outsmarted by a smaller, more tech-savvy adversary.

The good news is that the Kremlin is a graveyard of talent. In time, every gifted person I knew who went behind its brick walls was devoured by deceit, paranoia, and fear of losing one’s place in the sun. Konstantin Rykov was exceptional at his job, so much so that the Kremlin offered him a seat in the Russian Parliament when he was just 28. He accepted the offer. But being a member of the Duma Committee on Science and High Technologies and the Committee for Support in the Field of Electronic Media wasn’t the same as being the editor of fuck.ru. Despite being involved in some foreign influence operations, Rykov, now 45, hasn’t produced any significant work for Russian audiences since he joined Parliament.

Asked by an audience member in Toronto whether Russia was responsible for the war in Ukraine, Trofimova replied, “I think there are a lot of other factors involved. Yeah, like they are definitely sending troops in to solve whatever grievances there are.” Even if it wasn’t financed by Moscow, Russians at War reminds me of a Rykov production: slick, scandalous, and with a ton of free press. The message the film conveys is that war, not the country that started it, is bad in this scenario. Trofimova seems to portray Russia’s invasion of Ukraine, and the astonishing scale of the atrocities it has committed there, as something impersonal and inexorable, like a tsunami: We can only accept it and sympathize with the victims, including Russian soldiers.

I stopped working for the Kremlin long before the Russo-Ukrainian war, and whatever I did as the head of a magazine bureau and as a talk-show producer pales in comparison with what some of my former colleagues are doing today. Still, I know that in every bullet flying toward Ukraine—the country where my parents were born—there’s a small part of me. I wonder if Trofimova sees that she’s part of it, too.

[lestappenforever]

Max watching tit streamers anon here (I shall sign as 🍒 anon)

During quarantine, Max broke up with his then girlfriend Dilara. And well, ig he did need to fill an need of his so he went ahead and followed a bunch of insta models and also started watching tit streamers on twitch (idk if that's the proper term for them but yk they were "gamer" girls wearing some rather suggestive clothing).

People learnt about his endeavors on Twitch because he would comment stuff on these girls' streams and even make donations (i remember him making a donation and commenting sth abt the girl using the money to buy a simulator(?)) Our boy is not that creative with usernames so everyone could more or less understand it was him.

Now it's fair to mention that at the time Max had created an account on Twitch, which he streamed on, however quickly gave up on it. Plus he didn't use this account to comment on these girls' streams. He did so from his burner (?) account

When people found out they started pointing out his comments on Twitter and tumblr and I remember there being a post where they mentioned that Max had once wrote in some girl's that was wearing glasses chat that she looks like a "sexy teacher". The next day Charles had a stream and it was one of the first times he wore his glasses on stream, so some people considered it to be a funny coincidence (or not just coincidence we may never know👀)

Part 2:

🍒 anon again

"Regarding that particular stream Charles did (where he locked his now-ex gf out of the apartment) we have no clue whether Max watched it or not.

What we do know, though, is that Max liked Charles' tweet about it.

I remember lestappies in 2020 (that I'm pretty sure could be counted on like one hand), we were having a field day with it.

It was actually rather interesting that Max liked Charles' tweet given that this was back when they didn't use to be as close and used Lando as their messenger, as well as the fact that they do not follow each other on Twitter.

So this did raise the question as to how Max found out abt this tweet, but most concluded that he found out because Lando had interacted with it.

Really, lestappen and their relationship with each other back in the 2020 quarantine period is quite an overlooked chapter of their story, and it's filled with such small moments worth mentioning"

YOU CAME BACK! Thank fuck.

Okay, so during quarantine I was working retail in a grocery store and had to work harder and longer days than I had ever done in my life (and let me tell you, being an essential worker during the pandemic was exhausting), so I must have missed the comments on women's streams altogether. But I am so glad to have you, 🍒 anon, to fill me in on little things I might have missed over the years!

The 2020 quarantine era of Lestappen is definitely overlooked because there are so many gems like this that should get more attention. And Lando being the Lestappen carrier pigeon during this time is just one of those glorious gems.

Thank you so much for this, 🍒 anon! ❤️

[alwaysthequietones]

i haven't watched dawson's creek but ever since writers made that tweet i've become more convinced that some of these parallels are actually worth looking into

i've seen people say pacey and steve are v similar and i have seen all the parallels regarding stancy and it does look like there's some actual connections

again i haven't watched the show, so i'll ask you for your (unbiased please) opinion; looking at the whole thing is there any way pacey and joey have some parallels with jancy as well? and when it comes to all the stancy parallels do you think writers making that tweet recently possibly alludes to them continuing with jacey/stancy agenda and actually giving stancy their endgame?

I mean, it is hard to say. These parallels might be completely a moot point and not have any correlation with what the Duffer brothers are doing. So I might be making these posts just for shits and giggles. lmao But we do know that the Duffer brothers were "obsessed" with DC. And then that tweet of the writers room with the Dawson/Pacey picture...Hmmm

Because the context of the love triangle in DC is completely different than the one in ST. There are a few little things here and there that could apply to j*ncy but when you look at the characters individually and the couple dynamics and their overall arc (individually and together) and growth, I feel fairly confident in saying Pacey=Steve, Joey=Nancy and Dawson=Jonathan. If I had to make a comparison, bc again a very different show than ST. Even hearing the showrunners commentary on why they ended up choosing Pacey over Dawson to end up with Joey in the end, is very stancy coded somehow? (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UaqTsKGxFzo)

Because the showrunner, from the beginning, had planned for her to end up with Dawson (Why? Dawson is universally hated.) But then things changed. Partly bc Joshua Jackson (Pacey) told them to reconsider, basically saying, look back on the journey, respect the journey, the only way is for it to be P/J. Pacey is also a very romantically centered character and the showrunners said that his arc had to be romantically fulfilled for him to have a satisfying ending. But he's always been in love with Joey and him ending up with someone that isn't her, would feel false. The showrunners also said that even though they had planned her and Dawson since the start, they actually couldn't envision them living day-to-day regular life together somehow by the time they were coming up to the series finale. + "P/j has the chemistry" "Joey becomes a lighter person around Pacey." etc....

Joey is also someone very ambitious, sarcastic, cynical (about love sometimes too), working hard to get into collage and get out of her small town....

Pacey is self deprecating, doesn't consider himself smart enough to make something of himself, often feels like the black sheep of the family...

Dawson is literally the worst and Jonathan despite obvious flaws is still 100x the man than that universally hated guy is an aspiring filmmaker. Has a pretentious air about him and often belittles others and their problems around him because the only problems he actually cares about are his own. Again, I cannot stress this enough Jonathan>>>>>>>>Dawson.

So it's interesting to see how their arc and ending are deemed satisfying in certain ways too (and honestly could be applied to N/S/J too):

Joey gets out her small town, becomes a talented editor and gets a partner that she loves and that fully loves her and moves in with her to the city. Career AND romantic life fulfilled

Dawson always dreamed of turning his passion into a profession and meeting Spielberg. He ends the show doing both. Career fulfillment

And Pacey, he only felt fully alive when he could be with and love the woman in his life. And he does. Romantically fulfilled.

In other words, this could all mean nothing and I have no fucking clue.

[reservedlisting]

I normally dont make posts on tumblr but considering I dont want to continue harassing people on discord with my thoughts about hotd I'm gonna rant here :') this is literally just for me and i dont expect anyone to read this or make any sense of my insane ramblings.

this show is SO SO SO SO SOOOO SO0O0O0O0O00o0oo0o0o0o0o baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad! I could and have written an entire thesis about it so I won't do that here but my god it's offensively bad.

The way that women are written and in turn men are written in juxtaposition to women. As a woman I am genuinely offended and Im dutch and me so I dont get easily offended. Yes, I have some issues with how George writes women and girls but fundamentally women are allowed to be humans and be flawed but also have those flaws pointed out in the story. In that way men and women arent any differently written in asoiaf.

Hotd women are allowed to be flawed (Only Alicent's flaws are lingered on though) but also lets gloss over it when its convenient so that we can pretend women are all just peaceful little lambs and its the evil men that want bloodshed (Nvm rhaenyra having the servant killed so she can marry Daemon and have her husband leave under threat, alicent having larys burn Mysaria's house down, Rhaenys literally having the highest body count by committing acts of terrorism during the coronation). Until we are actually given a Very Good Reason :tm: the reason being this prophecy bullshit that has infused the show with the worst writing imaginable. They didn't learn from season 1 when everyone already hated the prophecy inclusion, nope they just doubled down on it. Just having to hear rhaenyra yap yap yap about this shit made me wish I was aborted like the alicole baby.

Its also so funny how they're like ah yes we'll have this person call rhaenyra a whore or a cunt so that we are in fact reminded that these are bad people that we shouldnt support. Like wow thanks for that signal show, I didnt pick up your more "subtle" clues. Then i have to see tweets with 20k+ likes about how criston deserves to die.. not daemon though for actually choking rhaenyra or calling alicent a whore (because the audience actually agrees with that lbr)

Then there is the BLATANT biased. It's about as subtle as a brick to the face. Condal (who is a clown for many reasons) pretending theres some kind of equality between the sides doesn't actually make it so. it's so obvious that they want everyone to support Rhaenyra and despite her completely irrational behaviour. Oh no those sexist lords in the council, meanwhile she's been off for days on end and then comes back with nothing to offer and then leaves AGAIN. As if these men arent risking their own hides by supporting her. Ofc Rhaenyra wants to go to war but is "smartly" talked out of it because "ohno cant risk you" and meanwhile everything that Aegon does is painted as stupid even though they almost work out.

Why am I supposed to think Aegon is an idiot for thinking that a king needs to be on the front line? as they have been many times throughout history? Of course he's gonna be pissed when they make plans without him. And then you have useless Alicent, never have I been turned off a favourite character so quickly and I genuinely loved her in s1, they really had to try very hard here but they've managed to make me dislike her. You're not logan roy girl, youre just boring as fuck and contribute absolutely nothing. Maybe you shouldve actually tried to prepare Aegon for rule in the decades since he was born instead of whining about how your evil sons dont listen to you.

its funny how tb people on twitter were made about comparison posts about aegon and alicent vs paul atreides and Lady Jessica. Because somehow Paul killing 61 billion people is less bad than whatever Alicent and Aegon do... meanwhile I'm actually mad that Alicent isn't in fact remotely like lady jessica. I genuinely wish she was because at least that would make her compelling. Instead of this useless figure we see now. Her relationship with her children especially aegon was always fraught. But she clearly loved them. Despite my hate hate relationship with ep8 that moment between Aegon and Alicent in the carriage and in the dragonpit was one of the best moments. Now even that is ruined.

The blatant bias really shone through in episode 4 to the point that I just had to laugh. And then reading what condal has to say or what TGC said they wanted him to do. I might as well be reading tb fanfic on ao3 and I might get to read a fairer treatment of the characters.

The fact that we also have seen extensive scenes of tb with their dragons but sunfyre, the most beautiful dragon and Aegon, the two that have the strongest bond get about 1 sec cause god forbid people actually like Aegon and see a human side to him. Ofc Condal said that was propaganda and that Syrax the golden was actually his fave dragon (truly a clown of a man).

On top of that they just pile all the shit on Aegon but ofc we must remember that he is a rapist and we cannot support him. Funnily enough it's made him the most compelling character by a country mile. Actually might be the only compelling character atp.

Aemond is a clown, alicent ditto. Tb are all boring as shit. Cant even include a lil bit of bastard drama for rhaenys and corlys cause obviously she's soooo understanding. YAWN. She's also super courageous ofc. And then there's ofc the stans who will defend anything their fave does cause stan brainrot. Instead of calling out the shitty writing they'll just double down that their fave did nothing wrong (aka aemond and alicent stans mostly, cause i dont even see tb's idiotic takes most of the time)

And its such a waste cause they have this giant budget, it looks pretty and there's tiny glimpses of interesting things and themes here and there but these writers are simply not competent, they're in fact incompetent. Half the show reads as fanfic and i say that with all due respect to fanfic as an avid reader.

then there's also the fact that they manage to create zero emotional connection with anyone so even scenes that are supposed to be good just arent. Like why the fuck would i give a shit about the cargyll twins killing eachother? cause you put some good music under it?

dont even get me started on b&c... i wasnt even planning on watching this season and i heard the complaints about b&c and i thought no way is it that bad. I saw gifsets they looked fine. And then I (stupidly) decided to tune in and I literally burst out in laughter cause the way it was filmed was just comical in places?!?! it was even worse than i had anticipated after the complaints somehow?!

Funnily enough sunfyre's cries were the only time I actually felt a strong emotion watching this show (other than the anger I feel at how bad this show is)

It's funny how people say that f&b bad and a dry historical account and sure but even then George manages to make me feel more about characters with one line that this show manages to do with all the power that a visual medium has.

and let me not forget about this show's sudden need to have its tongue firmly lodged up viserys' ass, what a great king indeed.

AANND then there's the PANDERING to the worst of the d*ny stans (who funnily enough dont even appreciate being pandered to so congrats condal). Rhaenyra is and never will be dany. This show is really written for the sansa will braid dany's hair crowd. Iykyk. Forcing in that friendship beyond the point of reason making the characters just acts stupid, and not in a people act stupid way but in its actually bad writing way. And then having to force in the prophecy even more for that and to give rhaenyra a righteous reason. And lets not forget the white stag in season 1 but sure Condal doesnt take sides Then the addition of the dragon eggs which he finally had to walk back probably cause he sensed the rancid vibes i was sending his way. Its so clear that HBO wants to sell their Boss Queen merch but then actually she's written in a way that's so bland and wants to take absolutely no action that there isnt really anything remotely boss bitch about her, completely coasting on young rhaenyra's personality cause older rhaenyra is again boring as shit. I guess now that she has Viserys' "permission" to rule she'll actually do something but i really dgaf at this point. But sell that merch I guess

Every time its some reviewer saying NOWWW the rREALLY great episode is coming on and every time im disappointed and episode 4 actually infuriated me to the point I had to stop watching and rant on discord several times.

this also never shouldve been the story told directly after game of thrones cause its so obvious how much theyve been influenced by it and writing in response to it, to its detriment. And now I'll never actually get to watch a good version of the dance. And if the viewership keeps dropping i might not see any good awoiaf adaptation again

I thought that after season 1 and the time jumps out of the way they might produce something half way decent but NOPE its somehow MUCH WORSE

Anyway hope Condal gets haunted like Daemon has been. Fuck him and this garbage show.

I havent even touched on everything here and this is completely incoherent but writing something coherent and semi intelligent is just more effort than this show is worth. Anyway call me when a knight of the seven kingdoms comes out, I can't imagine they could fuck that up. But who knows what new depths of shitness we might reach.

at least d&d had the decency to give us a few good seasons

[schulott]

on principle i hate doing opinion text posts on tumblr because it clogs the tag and no one cares, but i just want to organise my thoughts a little re: the JHR mess at Long Beach. It’s long, and under the cut:

JHR called a bad race

That is the root cause of how the races for both drivers turned out. Pitting and releasing Callum into the path of Canapino in the #78 without clueing Callum in on the situation, nor telling #78 that Helio was not on the lead lap both led to the incident that put the #78 out of the race. The Argentine commentary incited the abuse

On a level you could understand Canapino’s frustration (without knowing Callum was given no info by the team), but the commentator (Martin Ponte) who is supposed to be watching the race, knows how racing works and the driver has little to no input on strategy and pitstops, and have a clue of what’s going on just decided to call on air that Callum is the enemy of the whole of Argentina. Because of something that is of no fault of his own.

Ponte “apologised” on Twitter afterwards, but it was along the lines of “I did not mean to cause hatred and if it is taken this way I apologise”. Which, non-apology really. Callum bore the brunt of the abuse - directly or indirectly

The fact that Callum felt the need to address it at all just about tells you how bad the abuse was. Even if the team’s accounts were on the receiving end of the vitriol, the root cause is the same - they are convinced Callum screwed over his teammate (and the team let it happen, or whatever).

Ricardo Juncos did speak with a journalist to clarify that Callum was not given the information, but even then, the reaction under that tweet was along the lines of it being a weak excuse to help Callum, or that of course JHR would not say a bad word about their number 1 driver. JHR’s silence and obfuscation

Get this - Callum addressed the abuse soon after the race. Even Indycar came out with a statement on Monday addressing the social media mess after Long Beach.

JHR only came out with a post within the last hour or two (on Tuesday after the race) well after everything happened. There is no excuse to such a delay in taking on the very visible storm on social media, that you come out with something well after your driver and the racing series itself said something. It is well overdue.

When you dig into the statement though, it gets more problematic.

It talks about “drivers and the team” receiving abuse. The bulk of the abuse was at Callum, directly. If those comments are found on JHR’s accounts, the target is still Callum. Or along the lines of it’s the team’s fault that Callum is at JHR. Is the “drivers and the team” in the room with us? Call a spade a spade, it is not that hard.

The statement talks about the drivers respecting each other and then goes straight to them in a sport where split second decisions make or break weekends, and they learn, forgive and forget. How does this read to you? My read is this - it did nothing to dispel the misguided belief that Callum was at fault for something the team screwed up, and somehow Callum is to be forgiven. Since, you and I know, the genesis of this statement was the reaction to a situation where the Argentine fanbase believed Callum screwed Canapino over.

Sure, there are things to forgive and forget. Both drivers can “forgive and forget” for whatever happened in the strategy box and on the engineering stand that got us here. But only Callum has the perogative to forgive all the abuse he got.

It is disingenuous to obfuscate the failings as a team on the strategy side with the online abuse that was hurled Callum’s way and then wrap it all up and say we learn, forgive and forget.

Then Ricardo Juncos goes and tells a Motorsport.com journalist that Callum does not understand the passion of Argentine fans which drove the reaction on social media. Bear in mind that Callum got a lot of death threats. Can you really handwave that away as passion? The long term deal, in fact, is just for 2023

Just some final thoughts - Callum was extended on a “multi-year” contract last year when the big teams start coming knocking. However, it emerged that it in fact is only for the 2023 season. I would entirely avoid the discussion on whether Callum enabled the team to grow since they started together in 2021 on his own with no teammates to help him, but I hope the bigger teams are back in for him this year, and that this incident opens his eyes to seriously consider moving on. Cause, as this turn of events tell us, the team does not really have his back.

[greaterspawnislands]

omg no way you got mass qrted before lmao was it a lore opinion those tend to get people sending you dts on twitter lol

surprisingly no it wasn’t a lore opinion - i learned to shut my mouth pretty quick on that one when the cphil crit started flying. i got canceled for an opinion on fic actually!

i don’t even remember the date anymore, but at some point in 2020 there was a stream that quackity and karl did where they decided to read fics live on stream. i made a tweet about how i wasn’t really a fan of them reading this fic live on stream, because they were going through like, wattpad fics, and i was of the opinion that these fic authors were keeping their work in the fandom sphere as opposed to posting it on twitter/in the cc’s sphere/giving their consent to have their work shown off on stream, and that these were probably just like 12 year old kids learning to write, and i also insisted that even though q+k told people not to harass the authors, that wasn’t going to do shit against their 70k audience, etc. it was a long thread. i still feel firmly abt most of this but it’s a moot point by now

and then After i posted that… one of the fics they read on stream had some culturally insensitive depictions/characterization of quackity. i feel like quackity and karl tried to laugh it off on stream, but obviously it was not comfy for people to sit through, and by now my thread was circulating

so i immediately started getting mass qrt’d for defending racism in fics lol. ! bc people can’t read time stamps or use contextual clues

i deleted the tweet thread soon after bc i just could not be bothered to explain myself more than once a to all of those idiots lol. and that’s the one time i got mass qrt’d on twitter dot com!

[braverytattoos]

Omg Love, you’re too sweet! Thank you for making me feel included and not gatekeeping. I’m always soooo nervous to join a new fandom, especially knowing how passionate this one is! And yea sorry I tend to be too much always but ya know I’m working on it.. kinda? But yea Larry just feels wildly important to me for whatever reason? Like a month ago I had no clue who/what it was and now suddenly I’m trying to figure out how to fix all of society so they can just be. But I also just want to shake them and tell them to stop hiding and playing games and just do what they want and be together and fuck what everyone else thinks (unless of course this is what they want but it doesn’t feel like it is).

Also, can I just ask, do you/did you have a favorite out of the boys? I feel like in every fandom you have like you’re one favorite even though you love the group but like with these guys?? HOW??? Every time I think I could maybe choose I see a new video clip or hear a song or read a tweet or something and just like welp nope. Like oBviOuSlY Louis is amazing and so funny and like sharp witted and sarcastic which is my kind of humor and his solo music is incredible. But then you have Harry who is an icon and pushes the boundaries and makes me feel like free and confident in who I am and his music is just better! But then also Niall who is just the kindest sweetest purest little marshmallow to exist but is also funny in that kinda dorky silly way but then his music is like my obsession and he’s grown up and got all seductive. And of course Zayn I feel has just grown so much and seems so happy and healthy and his music is killing it and he really just said fuck what anyone says I’m going to do this for me and be better for me and just took back control of his life. And I can’t forget Liam who I feel like held them together so much and did his best to protect them all when he could but also stood by them and fought back against the industry. And he just came into his own and is still so playful and funny. All of them stayed so grounded and seem like genuinely good people and all of their solo careers and music is so good. I honestly cannot choose who’s vocals I like better. Is it just me? Is everyone else broken up by their favorite of the guys? Idk sooo sooooo sorry again for the long ramble love. Totally feel free to ignore this lol 😂🫣

hmmm so i 100% understand where you're coming from but i personally think there is a lot we dont really understand still. like in the past we put some pieces together but now since they're all solo i find it a bit harder to understand the reasoning, i mean its widely known that harry's team is trash, and although louis was finally able to get out of sysco and stuff i feel like theres still an element of not being truly themselves for the benefit of money and fame, which is what anyone high up in the music industry cares about anyways. so it's hard, but all we can do is show our support, right? ahhhhhhh omg those descriptions of the boys are so accurate and how i feel exactly. so i'm an ot5 stan through and through, i will always love them all, but louis holds a very special place in my heart due to personal things hes gone through and me being able to relate to some of those things. most of my mutuals do have a fav between harry and louis but a lot are also ot5 so i appreciate that. and do not be sorry to ramble at all! if you ever feel comfortable to come off anon please feel welcome too, you dont need to hide here 💕

[evilsaturn]

I’m the biggest cyber stalker in the world and don’t gaf so I frequently check up on people from my past. It’s so fun I completely embrace being nosy. I will forever gossip about everyone I’ve ever met in my entire life with my gf and no one can stop me.

With that being said, most of my ex-friends are still stuck in the same parasocial relationships with k-pop singers that we had in our teen years, but the obsession is so much more intense than ever. I didn’t think it would get so bad when we’re so grown now.. I’m so glad I got out when I did even though it was still late. You can’t tell me this shit isn’t a cult.

The Scorpio who would always imply women that like younger boys are pedophiles is now the women in question. 25, every idol she stans now is younger than her and one of them is even born in 2007. She collects k-pop merch big time now, throws celebration fan events for k-pop groups at cafés, and even lies about her age to her followers so they think she’s a year younger 😭 Genuinely have no clue what difference a year makes but LMAO? Lies about her race too, which is nuts because strangely enough she has a younger sister on stan twitter that just admits she’s white! This bitch pretends she’s Japanese!

The Aries is a full time k-pop TikToker. Kinda successful but she lives in the UK so I don’t even think she’s paid off it..? Stalking her is waaay less interesting though because she’s mega fake on all of her public accounts. Went from one of the most hateful stans you could meet in your life to someone so in love with k-pop you’d mistake her for a shameless Korean fetishist (maybe she is?). She loves every group and idol and goes sooo hard for her faves. Bragging about spending thousands on idols ($700+ on merch in a day… LMAO?), flying to Korea every year, stalking celebs and so much more omg. I’m 90% sure she’s a sociopath or narcissist, but at the same time I’m not sure if someone with those personality disorders could participate in so much celebrity worship? She’s super obsessed with western celebrities too. Her whole life is being a fan… also in her mid 20s. She used to talk about her parents being emotionally stunted or something so maybe she searches for the love she didn’t get from them in celebs, but fuck it’s intense. At the same time I know for a fact she talks crazy about her faves, she has to have an Aries Mercury or something because she just says fucking anything. An odd thing she would always do is stalk a celeb or do whatever she could to get an interaction from them, but then act like it was a burden to her or like she didn’t want it to happen. But yeah I think she has to have one of those personality disorders for sure because I don’t think a normal person is able to just exploit themselves like that in so many ways…or pretend to be someone else FOR FREE!? She also doesn’t care about anyone’s feelings (or when she does, there’s a rationale behind it that sounds out of touch) and she doesn’t care about what people say about her. I genuinely feel like if she read this she would feel nothing. Even if it came from her fave 💀

Lastly, the Aquarius. Sexually harassed and suicide baited her mutuals in the past (including minors) to now obsessing over Korean and Japanese guys all day and following them around the WORLD. Flights booked year round to countries all over Europe and Asia. Super sexual with all of her mutuals to the point she even has a nsfw warning about it in her carrd. But hey, at least she’s warning people now instead of just forcing herself onto them. She’s also mid 20s.

They all have this weird thing in common where they tweet “I work full time to fund my obsession with [insert group]” and it’s sooo strange to me. Thousands of dollars spent on someone else’s happiness, or to feel like they care about you. It’s like when dudes draining their pockets on AI chicks and catfishes on Facebook, not exactly like that but still like what the fuck?? How does this bring you happiness? I never spent nearly as much as them, but how the fuck did it bring me happiness? The shit is so fucking pitiful.

You can also tell they’re aging out reallll bad because one, the Scorpio is lying about her age 😭 but the big one is when you look at their mutuals and who they interact with it’s all people years younger. Their friends (and faves) just get younger and younger because that’s who the kpop audience is.

[seokgyuu]

My commentary on: Here comes the Sun after catching up >.< Part Dos

Chapter 7: I cannot with the 98s groupchat, please “strangers to lovers au”💀 seungkwan and chan casually talking about yns tweet has me dying, but I love seungkwan and Vernon’s different approaches to getting chan to ask YN out ㅠㅠ NOT HIM CALLING HER A GOOD GIRL BYE😭 I love how the 96s are just going in on YN over her texts with chan but I knew Woozi felt some type of way and I know wonwoo texted him and that’s on context clues🕵🏽

Chapter 8: I KNEW WONWOO JAD A FUCKING CRUSH ON HER TOO I KNEW IT but he’s so tragic like that’s noble of you to give up your crush for your friend but dang that’s angsty. She slapped cheol and struck fear into him we love that lol also her and Soonyoung bonding is so cute and fun

Chapter 9: DINOO YOU ARE BOLD💀 also Soonyoung stop please my sanity can’t EITH your jokes I’m smiling hysterically at my screen-.- they’re going on a date ahhh. Also YN is such a dumbass “take me out” in what context would be the other way😭 but Jihoon coping with his crush by being passive aggressive 💔😭

Chapter 10: Joshua please stop and let your true self show for once for Jeonghan’s sanity🤡 I love how invested the oldies are in yns business to the point where they’re dropping what they’re doing to go get the tea straight from her on her dinner with Soonyoung. Such a ride or die friend group😭

Chapter 11: of course we start the chapter with JiHan bickering lol and cheol has to mediate between them😭but Wonwoo is such a good friend to Woozi consoling him about his crush crushing on another man and going on a date with him. Idk I like how their crush on tan made them bond it’s kind of touching like you can tell wonwoo really cares and wants Woozi to be happy :(

Chapter 12: I love how the plot just TAKES A TURN lmaaoo😭💀 it was so refreshing to see the 97s again after only appearing at the beginning of the story!! As a fellow caffeine drinker I feel personally victimized by wonwoo help but I still love him though he’s just being caring 😭 also Mingyu developing a crush on Yn is so juicy and chaotic especially when chan is also his friend?!

HELLO i am sorry i fell asleep last night before I could answer 🥹. but let’s dive right into it!!!

the 98s… a different bunch fr, and the good girl … just spot on chan, like… damn. you are such a good detective i swear you’re gonna fade through this predicting all the twists and turns 😭😭

wonwoo is in fact a tragic little man. he is very selfless i guess, or is he? ig that will show with time 💃🏼. he does have his reasons and jihoon doesn’t know them so he is just like ??? dude tf. soonyoung and her friendship is so cute, but tbf all her friendships with the 96s boys are special in their own little way 🥹.

the take me out was SOOO 👎🏼 like obv he won‘t k word you, yn 😭 get a grip!!! but at least she is going on a date with him you know, like that’s her DREAM. only took her absolutely embarrassing herself for that to happen 🤡.

gonna be honest, joshua had a good start and now the 95 presence is getting weak i need to give them some more screentime JFJD if only to have joshua swear or smth and have everyone shook. omg the insta posts that day were so fun but also a pain in the ass i won’t even lie 😭 so much work, but it was worth it 💞 lmao jfjd.

cheol is indeed jihans mediator i think without him there would be blood. and yes as mentioned before wonwoo is a selfless dude and he just wants jihoon to be happy :( too bad jihoon is veeeery sure yn would never look at him that way 💔.

AAAAND we‘ve gotten to the thickening of the plot 👀. ah yes the appearance of one handsome kim mingyu, what a moment. and yo i am also a coffee or well caffeine addict i has three cups of coffee and two cans of energy drink last night the fact i fell asleep and did not have a heartattack instead js actually a miracle and should be medically investigated fr. and yes mingyu liking yn and chan liking yn… yn such a popular girly without even knowing it (yet).

thank you again for this amazing commentary, this makes the start of my day perfect 🩷🩷🩷

[mcyt-peach]

Okay I just have this idea in my head🙈 Dream, Wilbur or Karl admiring the reader (idk like on the stream) who is the author of the new fantasy bestsellers, and just gushing about it (maybe in the dono or on reader’s twitter they would be like “Thanks I love your work too ;) “

Haha ok i just love the idea😅🥺

dream, karl and wilbur getting attention from author!reader

⋆｡˚ summary: Dream, Karl and Wilbur send some praise to an author who inspired them, but are surprised to receive to get a response

⋆｡˚ including: cc!dream, cc!karl and cc!wilbur

⋆｡˚ warnings: reader uses they/them pronouns

⋆｡˚ note: this was seriously so cute nonnie!!! I loved coming u with these headcanons :)

Dream

Dream can’t help but brag about his accomplishments and while some may see him as cocky, he really just enjoys sharing how far he’s come

on one of his common twitter benders, he reminisced on the journey the Dream SMP has taken

he thanked his fans for their support and went on to praise the other members who made his success possible

what his followers weren’t expecting was the name of a fantasy author to pop up among his ‘special thanks’ post

“You may never read this, but to Y/n L/n, thank you. Your books have always been an inspiration to me and I’ll never forget your writing. Your stories from the villain's point of view will always be the reason I chose to be “the bad guy” in my own story.”

needless to say, twitter was shocked

without realizing it, he’d dropped a bombshell on your community and his

people were tagging you left and right, trying to get your attention

only an hour later, Sapnap’s busting in through the door, telling Dream to check twitter

he sighs, expecting some sort of drama or canceling, but is more than surprised to see you responding to his tweet

“Someone pinch me, I think I’m dreaming! Can’t believe genius, millionaire Dream thinks my work is anywhere near as good as his world building <3”

he just sets his phone down and covers his face with his hands

he can’t even tell Sapnap off when he says “Man you’re such a simp.”

Karl

Karl had started up stream with the intention of announcing a new season of Tales of the SMP

this inevitably led to people trying to sneak any information they could out of him

who’s going to be in the new season? will Karl lose his memory completely?

you get the jist

he tries to keep as much as he can secret, only answering questions that won’t give too much away

finally he finds a question he likes and lights up

“What inspired my series? That’s a good question! I’m not sure if you guys will know them, but there’s this book by Y/n L/n.”

he goes on to describe one of your earlier novels, where the main character travels through time and struggles with the realities they’re pushed into

it’s been about 5 minutes and he’s still gushing about your writing style

suddenly chat starts speeding by and Karl has no clue you joined until you donate

“Did THE Karl Jacobs of Tales of the SMP just compliment MY work!!! Chat, catch me, I’m swooning.”

the text to speech ends and he’s just staring

wide eyed, jaw on the floor, totally stunned that you were here, watching him

within seconds, he’s giggling and covering his face

“What the honk! How long were you here for?” he hopes you didn’t hear all his ramblings

another dono comes in “Long enough to hear you say such sweet things :)”

Wilbur

while filming Anthony Padilla’s “I spent a day with WILBUR SOOT” video, Wilbur knew there would be lots of questions for him to answer

he went into his music and content, even dipping a bit into his personal life

though he was expecting to talk about his role on the Dream SMP, he was surprised to be asked about his writing process and style instead of the usual questions

“Well, I suppose a lot of my early work was influenced by this wonderful author, Y/n L/n. They write a lot of historical fiction, but with a sort of fantasy element in it. It actually helped me figure out how to use canon lives effectively instead of just pretending characters never die.”

“Sounds like you’re a big fan!” Wilbur only met the comment with a smile, before they moved on to more questions

he didn’t think much of the interaction

in fact, he didn’t think about it at all until the video was released

Wilbur had joined a call with Phil, hoping to have a chill stream before he tucked in for the night

a strange donation came in, alluding to his earlier rant about your work

Phil chimes in too, teasing Wilbur about your response

“What? We’ve never talked before, Phil. I’m just a fan?”

“Mate, they literally just tweeted about you.”

quickly pulling up the app on his phone, he searched for your profile

the latest tweet read “Nearly died when I heard him say my name in Anthony’s video. Can’t believe the guy who made half of the Dream SMP lore is complementing little old me! I’m glad this is a tweet, or I’d be blushing up a storm.”

some of the viewers think the stream’s lagging with how still Wilbur is, just staring at his phone

he looks up to see the messages being sent in, but quickly gets embarrassed and turns to another monitor

“Shut up, chat, I am not turning red.”

[sappynapper]

If they made you cry x cc!dwt + gnf (separately)

hurt/comfort hcs on how they would react to accidentally making you cry

cws: yelling, making fun of insecurities, crying

Dream:

Listen, we all know he’s a sweetheart and a softie really

that doesn’t mean he hasn’t got a temper sometimes, especially when he’s stressed and pissed off about some twitter bullshit with fake screenshots that he has to address again

you can tell he’s getting worked up, which never ends well, so you try telling him to just get offline, to stop replying to the tweets, and do something else for a bit, take his mind off it all and calm down

but he’s angry and frustrated so he snaps, practically snarling at you

“god just stop that! you should be fucking supporting me in this not telling me to ignore it”

you know he’s not angry at you he’s just upset

it still startles you though, a lot

he almost never raises his voice at you like that, and him being such a big guy, when he does shout it’s loud and intimidating

plus the accusation of not supporting him hits just a bit too close to home

he specifically told you that he doesn’t want you stepping into the crossfire by getting involved in all the online discourse

but that doesn’t stop you feeling guilty for not being able to defend him. for not being able to really help

and before you know it your eyes have filled with tears and you’re trying to hold back sniffles so Dream won’t notice

he does of course though

bc he’s distracted it takes him a few seconds to realise what’s happening

but when he does his heart drops

and he is terrified, brain immediately going into ‘omg i’m a horrible person, i’ve ruined everything and they’re gonna leave me for yelling at them oh fuck’ mode

everything else is immediately forgotten as his head floods with panic bc to him, making you cry?? unforgivable. if anyone else made you cry he’d want to kill them but this is his fault and he doesn’t know what to do. he just has to make it better

“oh, y/n, i’m so sorry, i-“

he steps towards you, wanting to pull you into his arms and apologise with hugs and kisses but he’s not sure if he’s allowed to touch you right now and you’ve curled in on yourself with your arms wrapped across your chest

you tell him “it’s fine! it’s fine!”, and start apologising for crying when you were trying to comfort him, feeing silly, but he stops you

“is it ok if i touch you, baby?”

you give a little nod and he envelops you immediately, pulling your head into his chest and rubbing a hand up and down your back, comforting himself as much as you

he’s so relieved when you melt into him. that you’re not angry

he starts rambling mumbled apologies and reassurances into your hair between kisses

“i’m so so sorry angel. i should never have yelled. i didn’t mean to snap at you i’m just stressed but it’s no excuse. you do so much for me. always make me feel better. please forgive me”

you just nod, nuzzling further into his sweatshirt and gripping at it for comfort, just relieved he’s not angry anymore

he holds you tightly, shaken by his own mistake

anxiety-fuelled visions of you walking out the door and never coming back flashing behind his eyelids as he screws them shut

“hey” you squeeze his arm, familiar with his spirals, “i’m here. everything’s fine, i promise”

he nods, more grateful for you than ever. what could he possibly have done to deserve you in his life?

he spends days afterwards doing little things to make it up to you, even though you’ve said it’s fine a million times

your favourite takeout for dinner, his treat ofc. all the chores taken care of before you can even think of them. that thing you’d been eyeing on etsy? in your hands by the following evening.

but like i said, to dream, making you cry is basically a cardinal sin so it’s a while before he stops feeling guilty about it

George:

he’s lowkey a meanie. we know this thanks to alyssa

he wasn’t trying to make you cry, he was just teasing, needling you about some small thing that he had no clue was actually a big insecurity of yours

you tried not to let it affect you, biting your lip to keep it from wobbling and avoiding George’s gaze

but eventually all the little jabs build up and a couple of tears slip down your face before you can stop them

George pauses for a second, then

“are you crying??”

“no. no” you hurry to wipe the tears away, embarrassed, turning your face away more

“you are, you’re crying”

he moves around you to see your face better and that’s when you crack a little

“just leave it, George, god”

oh. he kind of blanks as he realises how actually upset you are

“y/n?..”

“stop. just stop. i don’t want to hear anymore. i get it ok?” you tell him, tearily, hurrying to your shared bedroom and shutting the door behind you, leaving George alone to realise that his light teasing had not in fact been that at all

he’s genuinely so shocked. he didn’t think he could make you cry?? like surely you know he thinks you’re literally perfect and that he could never actually mean any of the dumb jokes he makes??? right????

that’s what he plans to tell you a little later when he’s given you some time and recovered from the surprise himself. taking a deep breath before entering your bedroom

he opens the door carefully, even knocking slightly on the frame

“y/n? can i come in?”

he looks around for you, eventually spotting a you-shaped lump under the blanket on the bed

he sighs and shuts the door behind him, despite your lack of response, crossing the room and perching tentatively on the edge of the bed

hesitantly, he reaches out to you and places a hand on your blanket covered shoulder

you don’t say anything but you also don’t immediately shove him away so that’s good, George thinks

“y/n? i- i’m really sorry,” he starts, speaking softly, feeling shame burning in his throat, “i was honestly just joking around but it.. it was a bad joke, it wasn’t funny”

he pauses, trying to gauge any reaction from you but getting none

his hand runs absently up and down your arm over the covers as he thinks about his next words

“i.. hope you know that i don’t actually think any of that stuff about you. i think you’re wonderful and beautiful and the best thing in my life” tears are welling in his own eyes now but he takes a deep breath and keeps it together

you shuffle slightly under the blanket

“i had no idea what i was saying would upset you or i would never have said it and i… i’m just sorry. i’m really sorry”

that’s when you finally poke your head out to look at him

your hair is slightly mussed and your eyes are pink and puffy from crying, face shiny with tears

it breaks George’s heart. like he actually feels a twinge of pain in his chest knowing he’s the reason you look like that

“ok” you say in a small voice, “i’m just overreacting anyway-“

“no!” George reaches towards you but he doesn’t know what to do with his hands

you pull an arm out of the blanket and hold his hand, he squeezes it tightly

“you’re not overreacting. i- i was a dick and i’m so so sorry i made you cry” he does actually get choked up at this point and your eyes widen

you sit up quickly, blanket falling to your lap as you grab George in a hug

he pulls you even closer, hands gripping at your sweatshirt, neither of you sure who’s comforting who anymore

“it’s ok!” you exclaim, “please don’t cry, George. i promise i’m just being, like, emotional”

you laugh at yourself and it sounds like angel song to George

you pull away to look at him

“thank you for saying all that. it- well, i feel better”

“i love you.” he murmurs, “don’t let things i say make you upset. i’m an idiot”

“i love you too,” you reply, “my idiot” you add, teasingly

George grins sheepishly, then tackles you to the bed, covering your face in kisses as you shriek with laughter

and George knows he only ever wants to make you happy for as long as you’ll let him

[id-rather-be-an-outsider]

Simps. And Dumbasses.

Eren Yeager x Black!Reader

summary: Eren Yeager is an absolute simp and has no clue what to say or do to get you to notice him, and his pride leads him to ask Connie, of all people, for advice.

word count: 4080 (including words in text messages)

a/n: I’ve been vibing to Sza lately and for some reason I’ve been inspired to write this, uwu. reader uses she/her pronouns? warnings are reader experiences bullying throughout her childhood, hint of a micro aggression but it could also be seen as ppl just making fun of her curls bc I’ve experienced that before, so it’s up to the reader’s interpretation, that’s it I think. enjoy!

masterlist

“You’re a fucking simp, dude,” Connie laughs over the phone, and Eren squeezes the bridge of his nose, knowing exactly the stupid face the baldie was making. Connie continues, “But hey, I don’t blame you. If I had a chance with a baddie like that, with a booty like that, I’d already be so much of a simp ya’ll would never hear from me ever again.”

“That would be such a blessing, Connie, truly. Please go meet someone hot and leave the group chat in peace.” Eren chooses to ignore Connie openly discussing his crush’s ass in favor of the cynical jab. “Anyways, are you gonna help me?”

“Uh, yea. Just be yourself. It works for me.”

“… But you’re perpetually single.”

“No I’m- oh wait, I am. Shit.”

“Did you seriously not know your own relationship status?” Eren blinks, falling back on his bed. “I just got a migraine from your idiocy.”

“I’m sorry that I fuck often enough to have to debate it, simp.”

“You’re a thot. And stop calling me a simp!”

“Then stop simping for y/n and just talk to her, dumbass!” Connie hangs up before Eren can retort, and Eren’s phone vibrates in his hand. He checks his messages and a text from Connie reads:

Eren scowls, furiously typing back:

Eren throws his phone away dramatically, already tired of Connie’s antics. A few seconds later, though, he picks it back up, texting Jean:

Eren rolls his eyes. How is he supposed to learn about you? Other than approaching you, of course, because that would just be weird and bad and he would look like a creep. At least, that’s what his brain has decided on a whim of anxiety.

Anxiety isn’t normal for Eren, even general nervousy isn’t. Sure, back when he went to Paradis Prep, he would get nervous for big tests if he wasn’t strong in the subject, but this is different. For the first time, he cares about what another person thinks of him.

Do you think of him, even? God, he hopes so. If you don’t then that’s really embarrassing. As he ponders this with a tinge of existential dread, a notification pops up on his screen. You tweeted a link to your Spotify wrapped, and a lightbulb goes off. Okay, not a lightbulb, more like a sign saying, ‘HEY DUMMY TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THIS LUCKY OPPORTUNITY RIGHT NOW’ beat him fifty times in the face, but still.

He browses through the list, realizing he doesn’t recognize a single song. Jhene Aiko, Bryson Tiller, Megan Thee Stallion, Sza, Doja Cat and Isaiah Rashad. Definitely not his genre. Over the course of the day, he listens to the entire list, but one song specifically, titled ‘Pretty Little Birds,’ catches him off guard. He closes his eyes, letting the wind outside caress his face and letting the tide of the music’s highs and lows take him with them. At its end, he’s surprised to find himself with tears webbing down his face, and the next song makes it even worse.

*******************************************************

Armin hears music blasting from his shared dorm with Eren and immediately shakes his head, knowing it can’t be a good thing. He sends a quick text to Mikasa to let her know her brother is likely inconsolable, and opens it to hear ‘Garden (Say It Like Dat)’ by Sza breaking the sound barrier, and when he sees Eren laying on the bed, staring at the ceiling, he sighs. “Alexa, volume down.” Eren lifts his head up and glares at him, and Armin says, “Eren, what are you doing?”

“SOMEBODY HURT HER, ARMIN! Somebody made her feel unworthy, or like she was an imposter, or something just as bad!”

Armin furrows his brows. “And just so we’re on the same page, this is about… who?”

Eren scoffs, like it should be obvious. “Y/n. Who else would it be? You know I’ve liked her for forever, Armin.” Armin does know that, yes, but he also knows that Eren has spent the last several months adamantly denying his crush on y/n. Armin suspected it had a bit to do with him being scared of everyone teasing him for it, and a bit to do with not wanting to be beat to a pulp by Onyankopon for crushing on his little sister.

The man is pretty chill normally, but the few times he’s gotten into fights were when guys tried to make a play for y/n and he didn’t think they measured up. The fight between him and Porco is one Armin remembers well, mostly because everyone was betting on Porco then. Armin bet on Onyankopon and won quite a bit of money. All under the table, of course. He’s seen the way Mikasa obliterates people who come after Eren - he knew Porco’s infatuation for y/n would be no match against an overprotective sibling, and he was right.

Wait. Porco.

At the time of that fight he hadn’t considered why the two were fighting other than y/n being too precious for anyone by Onyankopon’s standards, but now he remembers Sasha mentioning y/n dumping Porco after dating for a month because of something disrespectful he did, which Sasha heard from Niccolo, a close friend of y/n’s fiercely loyal older brother.

As he ruminates on this, he debates telling Eren, but decides he shouldn’t. It’s really not worth the risk with Eren’s temper. Instead, he says, “You know, Niccolo is friends with y/n, and Sasha is starting to get closer to her. Maybe you could ask them if she’s actually in need of comforting. Since you probably won’t ask her yourself.”

“Who says I won’t ask her myself?” Eren retorts.

“Uh, do the last two quarters ring any bells for you?” Armin supplies, knowing he’s got Eren beat.

Eren concedes, “Okay, y’got me there. When is Niccolo going to Sasha’s next?”

“I feel like I shouldn’t tell you.” Armin grimaces, leaning toward not telling him.

“I’ll tell Annie you like her if you don’t spill the beans.” Eren threatens, his gaze ice cold.

“Tomorrow.”

“Thanks, ‘Min.” He says, getting up and clapping him on the back as he makes a beeline for the fridge.

*******************************************************

“So, you want to know about y/n? Why don’t you just ask her out?” Sasha asks as she carefully licks Niccolo’s special sauce off her fingers. She loves having a chef as her boyfriend. Every time he cooks for her she’s convinced she could die happy.

Armin warned Sasha that Eren was acting manic now that he’s finally admitted his crush on y/n. It’s cute to see Eren give a shit about something other than video games, and him coming over meant Niccolo would cook more, ergo she would eat more because Eren would be too busy talking to notice her eating his entire plate after finishing her own, so she doesn’t mind the intrusion.

“I already told you, I can’t just ask her out. Onyankopon would kill me.” Eren grits out between his teeth, putting a hand up to shield his mouth from Niccolo’s eyes.

Niccolo, who definitely heard what Eren said, supplies, “What? Onyankopon is a nice guy, he wouldn’t do that. Just don’t hurt her and you’ll be fine. He likes you.” He sits down across from Sasha, his plate lightly scraping on the wooden table.

“But what if I do hurt her? With my… with my…” Eren trails off as he looks for the right words.

“Idiotic tendencies?” Sasha quips, shrugging her shoulders at him when he gapes at her.

“Why is everyone so mean to me?” Eren asks the air, hoping for some sympathy.

“Because you’re an open target.” Sasha answers for the room as she steals a shrimp from Niccolo’s plate, avoiding his disapproving glare.

“Thanks for that vote of confidence.” Eren slumps.

Niccolo laughs quietly. When both Sasha and Eren look at him, he says, “Just communicate, Eren. Ninety percent of relationships fail because they lack healthy communication. Do you think Sasha would stick around for my good looks and cooking skills alone?”

“I would.” Sasha replies, pupils practically heart-shaped.

He glances over at her lovingly, “Okay, fair point. But,” Niccolo’s face grows serious as he shifts his attention back to Eren, “If you’re not a handsome devil like me who made it through Hell’s Kitchen, you need to make sure you have that on lock.”

Eren nods, all seriousness. Then, he meekly asks, “So uh, what’s her favorite food?”

*******************************************************

He’s a foot from your door, about to knock. Before Eren decided to do this, he DMed everyone who he knew was friends with you and wouldn’t spill the beans, or he crashed whatever activity they were in the middle of, only coming across one sock on a door during his investigation. He now knows your favorite colors, candies, food, he’s caught himself up with all your favorite animes and historical dramas, has familiarized himself with your hobbies, and knows your schedule practically by heart. He’s almost sure you’re home right now, and he hopes to high heavens that he remembered correctly what your favorite flowers are, otherwise the bouquet he’s holding will look pretty thoughtless. He can feel his stomach bubbling and he’s not sure if it’s from all the Sprite he helped Connie drink a few hours ago before the rest of the case expired, or if he’s just regular-anxious. Or both. Probably both.

He takes a deep breath, and knocks. After about thirty seconds, Hitch answers with a happy greeting. “Hi, Eren! Y/n will love those,” She chirps as she grabs his arm, pulling him inside. Hitch is one of y/n’s roommates and her best friend, but Eren knew she would want to help him. She’s always been a romantic. “She’s not here right now, but I’m sure she’ll be back soon.” He’s smiling, getting his hopes up just a bit, only for his stomach to drop when he rounds the corner. Yelena.

He knew Yelena was another roommate of y/n’s, but he failed to consider that she’s Onyankopon’s best friend - along with Niccolo, of course. The one person he’s been terrified of finding out this whole time, is sitting right in front of him on the couch, one leg crossed over the other, his fingers pressed together like he’s thinking deeply and a sly grin on his face.

“Hello, Eren Yeager. Sit. Let’s have a chat.”

*******************************************************

Onyankopon thinks himself to be pretty even-tempered, all things considered. He’s only ever gotten into a few fights in his lifetime, and they all were justified, in his opinion. You may occasionally beg to differ, but you’re his sister - it’s not like you’re always going to understand that sometimes he has to do things you won’t agree with.

Like when school bullies would pull on your hair when you were small, or put sticks and twigs in it, laughing at how your curls kept it in place. When you got older, you realized why he put them on their asses, even if it meant being sent home from school and being dubbed a ‘problem kid’.

When you hit puberty and those same people who used to mock you now wanted to be your friends, you thought nothing of it, thinking that maybe they’d grown out of that phase. That was, until Onyankopon came home with a black eye and a busted lip because your supposed ‘guy best friends’ were joking about running a train on you in the gym locker rooms.

You blocked them all the same night, and the next day, asked your teachers to move you across the room. You ate your lunch in your history teacher’s classroom, and you held your head high when you caught them staring at you despite wanting to cry.

You never paid much attention to the way they were more touchy-feely with you before, or at least, you would brush off your discomfort as them just being like that and you being weird because you had a hard time making friends when you were little, but after that you realized how they never respected your boundaries and seemingly viewed you as a slab of meat.

Onyankopon didn’t need you to tell him how you felt then in order to know it - he knew you - but he listened anyway when you told him your fears, your insecurities, your doubts. He also listened to your dreams and desires, and he swore to himself that he would make sure no one ever crossed your path who didn’t tick all those boxes for your ‘dos’ and ‘don’ts’.

Nowadays, you guys have a tight enough relationship for you to know, if Onyankopon says a guy isn’t worth it, he isn’t. Most people think you’re twins until he sets the record straight, but twins or not, he knows your heart.

He also knows that you’ve been crushing on Eren Yeager for a while now, your poor soul hoping he would ask you out, which made him sad since he knew Yeager would probably never do it - he knows Eren’s kind of an idiot. But, he did always think Eren was a nice guy. Definitely nicer than Porco, he thinks, who spent the week before being dumped by y/n getting too comfortable and making snide remarks about things he wished she could change, especially her lack of a want to get intimate early on in their relationship. Of course, you didn’t divulge that information to your brother until after you decided to dump Porco, but he still beat him up anyways.

Onyankopon’s mind stills as he observes Eren nervously wringing his hands, looking around himself at the environment, occasionally widening his eyes at Hitch who’s watching from the kitchen, very amused at the scene unfolding before her. As if he’s asking for help.

“So, uh,” Eren starts, his voice quivering a little as he swallows. Oh boy, this is gonna be fun. “Nice dorm you guys have here. I mean, girls, I mean, I usually use ‘guys’ as a gender neutral term but I don’t know if it would make you uncomfortable, but-“

“Eren!” Yelena stares at him grimly, before smiling gently and whispering, “Calm. Down.”

“Sorry.”

Onyankopon finally clears his throat (though he didn’t really need to, considering the attention was on him already), deciding on what to say. “So you want to date my sister.”

Eren nods meekly.

“Do you want to fuck her?”

“No!” Eren shouts, then corrects himself. “I mean, yes, I mean, if she wants to and we’re both capable of consenting, but that’s not- that’s not my main goal with it- that came out wrong, I-“

Onyankopon puts up a hand, effectively silencing Eren, who quickly clamps his mouth shut. Onyankopon can almost see the gears spinning in his head, and he wants to laugh, but he’s also kind of enjoying watching Eren turn into a blathering mess. “Are you… usually like this?” He asks, choking on a laugh he doesn’t want to release.

“Uh, only when I’m nervous. If you uh, need proof I’m not an idiot I can show you my GPA-“

“-Not needed. I know you’ve been on the Dean’s List every quarter. I always see your name when looking for my sister’s. Speaking of which,” He leans back comfortably, offering Eren a more friendly smile. “Why do you like y/n?”

Eren fidgets, stammering out, “Well, you see, I- We’ve a few classes together, and obviously the first thing I noticed was how pretty she is - and I mean really, she’s beautiful-“

“-AWWWW!!!” Says Hitch from the kitchen, before Yelena tosses another one of her murderous looks at her, after which Hitch opens up the fridge and pretends to browse around for a snack like she isn’t hinged on every word of the conversation.

“Continue.” Yelena urges, crossing her arms and turning to look at Eren next to her. She used to envy Eren’s abilities, until her own surpassed his. He’s not an idiot or anything, though - she’s just brilliant.

“Yea. Ummm, but what really caught my eye was how smart she was, and how passionate she was, is, about learning, and I know I’m probably not the person you see her potentially being with, but I really do like her-“

“Eren. All I want in a partner for my sister is someone who treats her how she deserves to be treated and values her like I do.” Onyankopon states.

For the first time during their whole conversation, Eren’s fiery eyes make an appearance instead of the ones where he looks like a scared cat. “Then I promise, Onyankopon, that is exactly what I will do.” And he can tell Eren means it. He knows that resolve, that fighter’s spirit - and it’s why he was secretly happy when he noticed the lingering looks you gave each other at social gatherings, both of you just oblivious enough to never catch each other in the act.

“Then you have my golden star. Don’t lose it.” He stands up, saying, “I gotta head out for work, but I’ll see you around, Yeager.”

Eren waves goodbye, and when he closes the door, Yelena and Hitch start chatting with each other, while Eren releases a breath he didn’t realize he was holding, sinking down into the couch cushions.

A few minutes later Hitch’s phone rings, and she answers it, mouthing ‘It’s y/n!’ Before saying, “Oh, yea? That’s totally weird. We’ll come and get you - we were gonna check out the Marine Biology Club anyway, Armin just started it and is looking for new members. Yep. See ya!” She nods at Yelena, and Eren looks between the two of them.

“Uhhh, what are you guys communicating that I don’t understand?” He asks, worried.

Hitch groans, “The vibes, Eren. Just read the vibes.”

Yelena says, “I compromised y/n’s key card this morning so it would stop working and we would have to walk down to get her instead of her showing up while we were still interrogating you.”

Eren sits in silence, wondering how the hell you compromise a key card. “So what do I do?” He settles on after a moment.

Hitch smiles at him. “Stay here and wait for her to walk in so you can surprise her.” She frowns, seemingly to herself. “Maybe hold onto the flowers so she doesn’t rationalize it and convince herself you’re not here to ask her out. And make sure you actually ask her - don’t just fumble around and drop the ball, because we’re not picking it up for you if you do.”

“Right. No pressure.” He says to them, but also to himself. He’s far too worried for a situation with only two possible outcomes.

“Good luck!” Yelena exclaims, cheery smile on her face as the door slams behind them, leaving Eren to his own devices for the next however-many-minutes.

*******************************************************

You can tell something is up from the way Hitch and Yelena give each other scheming little side glances, so you’re already shaking your head to yourself as you ride up the elevator to your dorm, which just so happens to be on the top floor, leaving you plenty of time to ponder every possible scenario before you open the front door.

None of that pondering prepares you to see Eren Yeager, holding a bouquet of your favorite flowers, standing in your living room. You drop your keys on the floor in shock, both of you just staring at each other like neither of you know what to do next.

“E-Eren! Hi!” You say nervously, then ask, “Uh… how did you get into my apartment?” You smile at him, then bend down to pick up your dropped keys, depositing them in your key tray and heaving your book bag onto the counter next to it.

Eren says, “I knocked and you weren’t here but Hitch was, so she let me in and then her and Yelena told me to wait. Oh! Uh, these are for you.” He holds out the bouquet, and you notice the wrapping around it is your favorite color.

You never realized how much Eren paid attention to you, the two of you only interacting through your friends. You feel your cheeks heat up, and you’re glad he can’t see you blush as you graciously take the bouquet from him. “Thank you, you’re really sweet. So, uh…”

“Sorry, right- erm… I should probably explain,” Eren stumbles through his sentence and if you weren’t so keen on him you might laugh at him, but you are, so you find it endearing. “I’m here because I want to go out. With you. I mean, um, I want to take you out. On a date.”

“Now?” You ask, a little surprised and confused, but not disappointed.

“No! I mean, I’m sure you’re busy right now, but if you’re interested in going out… with me… we could… my number! I mean- ugh.” Eren slides his palm over his face, sighing. “I’m sorry, I’ve never asked someone out before. How is this going?” He peeks at you through his fingers, hope shining in his eyes.

You laugh, and you don’t know it, but your smile causes Eren’s brain to melt down the rest of the way. “You’re doing terrible, but it’s really cute. I would love to get your number, and go out on a date sometime.” You wink at him, then raise an eyebrow after a few seconds of him standing there dumbly.

“Oh! Yea, here.” He retrieves his phone from his pocket, holding it out for you to type your number into his keypad, calling your phone when you finish so you have his number. You don’t know this, but Eren’s already put your name in his phone as “😍 y/n 🥰”, and will not let you see that until after your first kiss, but you’re no better.

After you say your goodbyes, which are full of you both giggling and smiling like drunk idiots, you look at your phone, copying his number from your recent calls and creating a new contact.

His name?

“💕 SIMP 💕”.

[cruesuffix]

1. definitely nikki. i don’t really really vibe with him much and it gets annoying seeing him under tags that have nothing to do with him (like i’m trying to see mick not that giant mf)

2. rarest thing i have is the theory that the indecent exposure story was possibly a lie?? apparently mick actually was being indecent in a hotel bathroom and that’s actually why he got arrested. now this could also be a lie, or he could have just been confused for tommy, just like the original story. i just found it funny how everyone in the band has said the same thing about the story so it seems so unlikely that it was a lie, but there were newspaper articles about it…will we ever know? i have no clue. (was totally rambling here whoops).

3. favourite thing: how creative the fandom can be, be it fanart or fanfics. i’ve read some great ass fanfics in this fandom tbh, y’all are real good at this shit. least favourite thing: unfortunately, you guys are not good at simply just holding your favs accountable and keeping it real. we don’t have to defend these guys, it’s actually kind of pathetic seeing you guys defend the CRAZIEST THINGS. pls, just admit they’re all awful people and keep it pushing.

4. i’ve only really read the dirt and the heroin diaries so i’ll have to go with the basic answer of the dirt. i find the multiple perspectives great, and there’s something about reading the members collective mental breakdowns entertaining. (yes i know that sounds terrible).

5. i know everyone’s saying this but i can’t not mention the resurrection of motley crue. i’ve watched it so many times i could probably recite it all. there’s something so interesting about seeing the band dynamics right there, seeing them interact after not really seeing each other in a long time. just that scene of vince and tommy awkwardly interacting with each other is burned into my brain permanently.

6. i would say both tommy and mick. i have the attitude and philosophy of mick, with the personality and energy of tommy. so i’m a slightly depressed golden retriever boy. that probably makes no sense.

7. for this i’m just going to refer to the midnight barber bit from the mighty boosh (if you know what that is you are the coolest person on the planet) i would attribute that bit to nikki and mick. i think this bit only really reminds me of these two because of that story of nikki ripping out a clump of micks hair…yea this was a weird answer.

8. the fanfics!! omg the fanfics are some of the greatest parts of being here. ao3 has the best fics tho…no shade to the hellsite though, there’s some good things here too.

9. i wanna say all of them tbh. all of them, when pushed to a limit, acts out. i want to say nikki but the way he’s been going on about the current situation (mick) he’s been really immature about it (all his weird ass tweets) tommy we all know has a history of acting out on his emotions, and so has vince. mick on the other hand is so emotionally despondent he lets ppl walk all over him because he doesn’t WANT to act out and is afraid of letting his emotions get the best of him. they all suck at handling things emotionally, which is why they’ve broken up like 50 times.

10. it’s both for me, the music and the band itself are both entertaining enough to be obsessed with.

11. home sweet home (the solo literally speaks to my soul) and save our souls

12. as much as i appreciate the other members for replacing their respective roles as well as they could, i really don’t care about them. the original four are the only ones that matter to me. without any of the four members it really doesn’t feel like the crüe.

13. i don’t care for most of their later discography (i say that but i haven’t really listened to new tattoo or saints) like the last album i’ll actively listen to a lot is self titled. i think they should have just retired after red white and crue era and called it a day.

14. i do have a fic i’m working on…all i’ll say is major character death warning. :)

15. the best thing i’ve seen is all the mick stans going crazy over his solo debut. i was right there with y’all i can’t believe it’s taken so long but it was SO worth it!

The weirdest cruehead questionnaire

Hello everyone, so I've been looking at alot of these question-answer response things on Tumblr, yanno where people will like ask people from a specific fandom some qeustions to get to know the people in the community and the qeustions are usually stuff like, “how did you get into it?” And “Who's your favourite character/member” 

So I thought I'd do something like that, but just a little…. differently.

Basically I'm gonna ask y'all qeustions I've never really heard asked in the community/low-key out of pocket crue qeustions and then you guys just reblog with your responses, that sound cool?

Great!, let's get started.

1.Which member is to you the least interesting and why? ( Not least favourite, just which member do you not spend to much thought on)

2. What is the rarest Mötley crüe story or bit of information that you know?

3. What's your favourite and least favourite thing about the fandom?

4. What is your favourite Mötley book and why?

5. What is your favourite Mötley crüe supplementary material to watch (so this would include the movie, any documentaries, cartoons, anything like that) and why?

6. Which member do you personally identify with and why?

7. Pick a quote from anything non-Mötley related that reminds you of your favourite member and explain how you think it relates to them or why you think it matches them.

8. What's your favourite piece of crüe content that comes from the fandom itself ( fanart, fanfic etc.)

9. Which member do you think is the best at handling emotional situations in the band, and who's the worst and why do you think that?

10. Are you more in the fandom for the music or for the members/crazy stories themselves?

11. What song means something to you personally, good or bad?

12. Which one of the non-original members do you actually prefer to the original members?

13. What's a Mötley opinion that everyone else seems to agree on and you don't or what opinion do you have that nobody else shares?

14. Do you have any unfinished crüe content that you are/where making that you wanna share a bit of? ( This can be fanart, fic ideas, album aliases etc.)

15. What's the best thing you've experienced in the fandom?

[ultralightpoe]

Paid For It - Yelena Belova

Description: Yelena takes pride in making you blush and just this once you get her 

Warnings: Implied sexual themes??? Not really warning worthy

Authors Note: There aren’t enough Yelena imagines out there so I’m going to singlehandedly fix that. Feel free to send in requests, I write for most the marvel characters. ENJOY!!!

Word Count: 610

MAIN Master List - - Marvel Masterlist 

             Yelena’s life had never been easy, given that her first memories of a family were just a trick to sell a mission, the rest of her life seemed to follow the same pattern. Life was not in Yelena’s favor.

               But then she got Natasha back, and her parents were good again, and she was free. But nothing, absolutely nothing, beat the day she met you. Sure nothing had been easy in Yelena’s life, but it was all worth it when you came into the picture.

               You had actually waltzed into her life, smiling from ear to ear as you greeted her at the Avengers facility. You were a medical assistant at the compound and Yelena needed to get cleared for the field so she could go on a mission, since Doctor Cho was busy you went to grab her. 

                You called her name, reading straight off the clipboard, and once you looked up you realized she was the only one in the room. You could either die of embarrassment or play it off, you chose the former. 

                 “Hello?! Is there a Yelena Belova here?” You call, looking past her like there were other people in the waiting room. “Hello? Yelena? No? Okay bye.”

                It wasn’t the greatest save, but it made Yelena laugh, and once you heard it you knew you needed to hear the sound again. 

               She left that appointment cleared for the field and with your number written on her wrist. 

                It didn’t take long for her to figure out she loved to make you blush, especially since it was so easy to. You really were one of the sweetest things she had ever seen and she was determined to ruin you, her little любовник. (lover)

                 It became a game to her really. Yelena Belova was addicted to your blush, and though you try to make her blush just as much she is a trained assassin, blondie doesn’t break that easily.

                 Today the two of you are lazing around your apartment, watching some old sitcoms Wanda sent you for your birthday, as Yelena stroked your hair. She was scrolling through her phone in content, texting Kate and reading tweets.  

              “Hey lovey?” You ask out of nowhere, reaching behind you to grab where her hand was laced through your hair. 

             “Yes?”

              “What is your dream job? Like, if you had complete freedom what would you do?”

                It takes her a moment to think about it, staring at you as she does. She remembers having a similar conversation with Natasha 3 years ago, but now that she had you she honestly didn’t know. 

            “I have no clue.” She admits, leaning down to kiss you. You laugh through the kiss, flicking her forehead before sitting up.

“I’d like to be a baker.”

               “Любовник you burn water.” Yelena laughs, snatching you between her legs to pull you closer. 

                “Can you imagine getting paid just to be pretty?” You giggle, kissing up her face as you sit in her lap. “Honey, you’d be a billionaire.”

                  Then it happens. Yelena Belova blushes, and there is no hiding it. The red flush travels from her neck up to her forehead as her skin heats up.

          “You think so?” She whispers, biting your lip. 

                You’re now on a high from making Yelena blush and can’t stop now. “You should be paid for it…. I’d pay you for it.”

                “You would?” If possible, she blushes even harder, hands traveling to your hips. “How much?”  

                You stare at her for a moment before grabbing your wallet. “I have 5 bucks and a cold stone coupon from Scott.” 

“Works for me.” She laughs, bringing you in for another kiss.

[be-ready-when-i-say-go]

Anklets and Necklaces

Inspired by this tweet.

@5-secondsofcolor I’m not sorry.

Female Reader insert. NSFW Content (18+). My smut writing is hella rusty. So I do apologize, whoops.

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Calum plays at the anklet, spinning it around and around her joint as her legs are crossed and resting in his lap. The gold jewellry is hardly ever taken off since he gave it to her. In return, she gifted him a chain with a tiny pendant with her initial etched into the back of it. The front of it is an arrowhead. He wears it so often now, that when it’s off, he feels a little incomplete. It’s an easy gesture to carry her everywhere with him.

“Okay we gotta decide what to eat for lunch like now or I’m going to get hangry,” she states.

Calum glances up from his phone, to see her still scrolling on hers. “Oh no. Not hangry,” he teases. But he knows she means it. Her warnings have about a thirty minute window, just enough for a delivery if they get something simple. Or if they want something more complicated, they need to find a snack now while the main course is cooking. “What do you want? Thai? Mexican?”

“Would you hate me if I said I really just wanted nuggets from McDonalds?”

The pout on her lips makes him laugh, “No, I could never. Usual then?”

“Yes, please.”

Stretching across the length of her, Calum pushes his lips together, trying to ask for a kiss. She laughs in return and squeezes his cheeks. “Be lucky you’re cute,” she states before lifting up slightly to meet his lips. “And squishy.”

“Ain’t nothing on me squishy,” he huffs, straightening back up to put her order into the app.

She sets her phone down on her stomach, gazing up over the sharp line of his jaw that his plump cheeks sit atop. And while it’d be easy to return with a poke and a verbal jab about his cheeks, she just watches him. His fingers deftly work over the screen. The white tank sits as a stark contrast to the depth and glow of his skin. “I think all the right things on you are squishy.”

“Yeah, what are those?”

“Your cheeks. And as much as you and your trainer kick your ass, I know happy weight when I see it.”

Calum grins, a chuckle shaking through him as he sets his phone down on the arm of the couch--the order completed on his end. He pinches at her thighs. “Take that back.”

She shakes her head. “No, I don’t think I will. I like it--just like I like my cookies. Hard on the edges gooey in the middle.”

Standing for just a moment to let her legs fall onto the couch, Calum kneels onto the cushion, hovering above her. Her eyes glitter just a little as she talks and the soft easy smile on her face lets him know that it’s all out of love--what’s she’s saying. The pads of his fingers run along the side of her thigh. “Be lucky I love you.”

“I am already lucky, so say what you gotta say. Roast me, my love. It’s not like we don’t do that anyways.”

And truth be told, Calum had no response. Not when he looks at her, because God all he sees is the person that’s been with him on his bad mental days. She’s been there when Calum was sure there was no lower low or higher high. And what do you say to that person that’s been there, seen all of you that there is to see? With a gentle and chaste kiss, Calum settles for silence.

“Cat got your tongue now, huh?”

This--this Calum can respond too. It’s all too easy. “I know what else my tongue can have.”

“I know something your tongue can have too.”

“Really now?” Calum asks, dragging his fingers over the top of her thigh and tracing the line of her lounge shorts. “Food will be here in fifteen minutes though. So that’s up to you.”

“Not nearly enough time to savor it. Besides,” she starts and takes a pause. Her lips pull into a side smile and Calum knows what that means. One brow quirks in anticipation and Calum watches her. The silence settles for a little too long.

“Besides what?” he prompts again.

“Besides, I need the mail to be delivered first.”

“What did you buy?”

“You’ll see later. I promise. It’s really not even supposed to be used for lingerie. But I’ve wanted these for a long time and I specifically have a set I’m trying to complete.”

There’s the black mesh set that she’s slowly been building out. The main piece came in weeks ago, at this point it might even be months ago that that came in. He was privy to it then and gave it the christening that it deserved. But there wasn’t any other lingerie set that needed expansion. Not at least to his recalling. “Which one is it?”

“I’m not saying.”

“Oh please,” he whines, dropping his head into her neck. His lips softly and slowly seal kisses into her warm skin.

“No, Calum. I’ve been waiting on this package for weeks. It got held up in customs and I-” she sighs at his lips sucking at her skin. Not hard enough to cause a bruise, but just enough to make her spine tingle. “You’re going to have to do better than that.”

Calum pushes up, with a huff, sitting back down on the opposite end of the couch. “This is killing me, you know?”

“Well, you ain’t dead yet. So I think you can tough it out for a little bit longer.”

“Begrudgingly--I want you to know that.”

She sits up, swinging her feet to the floor. “Your sacrifice will be duly noted. The mail will be here before you know it.” The couch releases her weight and Calum watches her pad into the kitchen. “Do you want anything?” she calls.

“I’m good,” he returns, knowing that he will be counting down the seconds until the mail comes. She returns with a glass of water, sitting back down on the couch, but bringing her feet up underneath her as she motions to the TV. “You watching that?”

Calum answers with a shrug. He wasn’t anymore. He originally turned it on mostly for the weather and some news. He found himself bored and flipping through channels before settling on the sports channel while he took care of Duke in the morning. Noise to fill the space since his brain needed the distraction. He hadn’t slept all that great the last few nights, decent sleep. The closer and closer the band got to putting out music the more his nerves kicked in--sometimes they were sneaky. The nerves come up faster than Calum had anticipated. And right now, they won the first round. But Calum was working hard to combat them so he could get about his daily life.

“Go crazy,” he finally verbally responds. And she picks up the remote, changing channels too fast for Calum to even understand how you could process what was on before decking it was a no. She eventually settles for HGTV--not quite caring what show was on. 

The first knock that comes to the door is the food that Calum ordered for the two of them. He answers it, popping up in the hopes it’s the mail. When it’s not, he sighs just a little but places the bag down onto the coffee table. “Your nugs, my queen,” he teases.

“Thank you, my good sir,” she returns with a grin, opening before divvying out what is for who. “You wouldn’t have happened to shot up like a bat outta hell because you wanted that to be the mail?”

Calum feels the heat in his cheeks, but bumps her shoulder gently. “No, why would I ever want that?”

“Oh I don’t know,” she scoffs in return, dunking a nugget into the sweet and sour sauce. They share a soft bout of laughter before turning their gaze back to the TV. Duke’s paws click as he ventures into the kitchen for a drink of water from his bowl. The lapping and splash of his tongue echoing just slightly as the screen goes dark between the show and the commercial break.

Calum lifts his gaze, taking in the soft angle of her jaw. She curls up around the carton of fries, eyes glued to the screen. Does she even have the slightest clue what she does to him? It’s not even the involved things like dressing up for him, or comforting him. It’s just her, when she’s munching on fries. Or when she sleepily walks behind Duke in the mornings. It’s when she hums as she cooks. It’s the dancing she does when she’s cleaning. It’s the pouts when she messes up on something and her brow furrows in as the determination settles onto her face.

It’s when she fucked up a birthday cake for him once--not greasing the sides of the pan enough and then adding a tad too much milk--called him crying about it and then in a minute flat resolved to make him brownies instead. Because she said she’d be damned if she didn’t make him something sweet to nibble on or pass along to the guys. And Calum’s not even that much of a sweets guy, which she knew, so she only settled on giving him half the batch she made. She, of course, saved the other half for her and her friends.

And it’s just the moments that she’s not even trying that makes Calum melt. Like when she paints her nails, she offers to do his first. Or when she lays down next to Duke, and in their shared silence, they seem to communicate everything with each other.

“I love you,” he states.

She turns, eyes widening for a second before grinning around her sip of iced tea. “I love you.” Her brows furrow just a little. “You okay? You’ve hardly touched your food.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine.”

“If you didn’t want McDonalds, I could’ve done something else. Literally anything else,” she continues on almost as if she hadn’t heard him.

“It’s not the food,” he giggles. Calum reaches out to caress her cheek. “I’m okay.”

She nods. “Okay.”

“I just love you, that’s all. Wanted to share it with you.”

Her grin is soft as it lifts her lips. “Good because you’re not getting rid of me that easy.”

“I wouldn’t dare dream of getting rid of you.”

Another silence envelopes them. Calum finishes his food and takes the empty containers to the trash. Another episode starts up from the speakers and just above it, he hears the chime of his phone. “Do you want me to screen it for you?”

“Yes please!” If it’s one of the guys, they won’t mind her answering. If it’s someone important, he doesn’t want to miss the call.

“Calum’s phone,” she answers but he can already hear her feet shuffling to him in the kitchen. “Okay, Ash. I’ll keep that in mind.” Her voice comes closer and Calum shakes his hands just a little to get rid of the excess water before drying them. “No, I can’t say what it is without taking a look. Did you use the soil I recommended last time?” Another pause comes from her and when Calum turns, he finds her leaning up the kitchen counter, phone halfway pulled down but not fully away from her ear. “Yeah, I definitely think you should consider changing soils. But I can take a better look tomorrow for you. I’m going to pass along the phone now.”

She hands the phone over. “He said it was important.”

“Thank you,” Calum says in a whisper, pressing a kiss to her forehead and then placing the phone to his ear. “Yeah, Ash?”

Calum’s not even sure how long the conversation goes on. At first, it is important information that Ashton’s trying to confirm--a date and time for a meeting that they had later in the week. He says he wrote it down where he writes down all their meetings but it’s not there. And Ashton’s trying to make sure that he doesn’t miss it. So Calum shuffles to his office and verifies in his calendar the time for the meeting.

But then the conversation diverges--they start talking about everything and anything. So much so, they’re laughing. Calum doesn’t even hear the knock at the front door. But he does notice her scurrying off into the bedroom. The door closes with a soft click. Duke comes trailing after her but notices the closer door and then keeps down the hall to the office. Calum reclines back in his seat trying to get another angle at the door. But it’s closed fully.

“You okay, gramps?” Calum asks Duke.

“Oh fuck off, mate!” Ashton laughs.

“Not you, you fucking egg. Duke--I was talking to Duke.”

“Oh!” Ashton giggles. “Sorry, I thought you was trying to talk shit.”

“I don’t have to try and do that to you.”

“Oi, don’t start something bro.” The two of them laugh and Calum bends down to scratch behind Duke’s ears. “Alright, thanks for confirming that meeting. I’ll see you tomorrow in the studio?”

“Yeah--bright and early. Talk to you later.” The call ends and when Calum spins around in his desk chair, his jaw drops as she steps out from the bedroom. It’s not exactly something new--as in something that she’s never worn before. But it doesn’t mean he ever gets tired of seeing her like this.

The white bustier pushes her breasts up and almost over the cups. And he travels the look down, taking in the baby blue skirt, fishnet knee highs. And he goes back up, taking in a black strap wrapping around her thighs. She notes the lustful gaze and steps right on the line of the threshold to the door.

“So,” Calum starts, trailing his gaze down and then back up to her face. “Not the black lingerie I was anticipating.”

“No, I’m waiting for the heels I want for that lingerie to go on sale. Besides, you didn’t like the collar I liked so I’m still searching.”

“It wasn’t that I didn’t like it. It’s just too similar to one we already bought.”

“You’re right, but still.”

Calum cracks a smile at the reluctant confession. “But enough about that. This--this is a cute outfit.”

She nods, smoothing out the pleated mini skirt. “It’s less about the outfit and more about these,” she says, tapping at the thin black band.

“And those are?” Calum asks. It’s one step closer into the room and Calum think he can make out a heart shaped metal loop in the middle of it. She takes a second step closer and Calum can see clearly it’s some sort of thigh garter--leather or something related as the material. “Oh,” he breathes.

She continues slowly to approach Calum and when she’s just in arms reach, she lifts the skirt up. It goes up inch by inch and Calum’s entranced. Watching more of her thighs revealed to him. And soon it’s black panties--mesh and if Calum remembers correctly crotchless. But wrapped around her waist is another band of leather. Two pieces hook to another metal hoop right on her hip bones and then one trip connects the top piece to the bottom.

“A harness garter belt--what do you think?” she asks in a whisper.

Calum exhales, desire stirring in the pit of his stomach. He reaches out, wrapping his fingers around her thighs and pulling her into him. He kisses in the spaces between the leather, gingerly, lips hardly touching her skin. “I think you look beautiful,” he hums, dropping his head on his neck to look up at her.

Her eyes are still closed and Calum softly runs the tips of his fingers up her thigh, tracing the lines of the harness. With a deep exhale, she finally blinks back to reality. “Not too silly?”

His brows meet in the middle of his face. Why would she think it’s too silly? There’s nothing silly about her standing in front of him, clearly excited about her own purchase. “Angel--I’ll be damned if I ever think this is silly.”

Swinging her leg over and settling onto his lap, she grins. “Thank you, love.”

Calum holds onto her hips, rubbing his palms down to her ass. “So you said this technically isn’t lingerie?”

“No--I don’t think so. But I think they could be--a small accessory to something I already have.”

They share a kiss, much too quick for Calum’s liking so he pulls her back in for more. And her arms wind around his neck as he continues to palm her ass. Here, he doesn’t really care what it is technically or not. She looks absolutely amazing. “I like it. In fact,” Calum starts, moving to grip her thighs before housing them both up and then plopping her down on the desk. “I really like them.”

Calum stands between her legs, nose brushing and bumping against hers. Here, she can feel her core aching as Calum’s fingers trail closer and closer to her heat. It’s feather light--his touch, but it makes her feel electric all the same. “Cal,” she hums.

“Yes baby?”

There’s nothing that comes out of her mouth but a small huff, a rushed and harsh exhale at the feeling of his fingers dancing across her skin. He grins pulling back just a little to see the way her face goes slack, almost as if she’s at peace with him between her legs.

“Was there something you wanted to say, darlin’?” Calum tries again, taking just a half step back away from her.

With her eyes still closed, she smiles. “I want to know,” she starts, exhaling softly to counter the thud of her heart in her chest, “if you’d so kindly want to make love to me?”

Calum can’t help his own small tuft of laughter. “Darlin’, I’d do so happily.” They don’t always wind up in bed like this--but it’s nice, to be comfortable even to be this forward with this and this open.

Calum takes her hand as she hops down from the desk. “Give me a twirl,” he asks. She obliges, turning in a circle for Calum, punctuating the back view by lifting her skirt up. “Silly girl,” Calum laughs, giving a firm but playful tap to her ass.

Facing Calum again, she wraps her arms around his torso. “But you love it.”

“I do. I love you.”

They share another kiss and she slowly walks backwards out of the room. They get lost in each other--Calum in the way she fits against him and her in the way Calum holds her, palms spanning across her back and tight enough that she wonders if he thinks she’s going to disappear but gently enough at the same time that she’d love nothing more than staying here forever in his hold.

Calum finds the zipper to the top and slowly drags it down. The material exhales, slowly falling away from her body and when it falls to the floor, he kisses her neck, down to the swell of her breast. Her moans are soft, just above a hum that makes just enough noise for him to hear. And it goes right to his gut.

Here there's very little need for words. When Calum gives, she takes happily. But when she tugs at his hair, Calum knows to step back, lets her give something to him. Her kisses are soft against his skin, but make him feel like it’s being set on fire. One that he’d happily stay in, let the blaze consume every inch of him, if it meant that she was always the one to take him.

His shirt goes to join hers. Her mouth teases his nipples as she descends further down on him. Calum thinks he sighs, all he can do is just shut his eyes and let go into the feeling of her teasing the cut of his hips beneath the sweatpants. She’s always like this, teasing him. At first, it used to annoy him. But now he loves it, loves just how close she’s willing to push him to the edge, push his buttons but always delivering at the end of it.

Her meticulous work, to watch him jump at every scratch of her nails and nip of her teeth, is enjoyable. But Calum blinks open his eyes to cup her jaw, which stops her. When her gaze lifts, Calum motions for her to stand. “Yes?” she grins standing to her full height.

Calum presses their foreheads together. “I missed you.”

“Well how dare I keep a man like you waiting?” With a slow kiss, tongues just barely dancing, Calum walks the two of them to the bed. The back of her knees hit the edge of it and she buckles just a little. Calum catches her from falling. “Turn around,” he whispers into her ear, “please.”

The instruction is obeyed and she spins to face the bed. Calum finds the zipper to the powder blue skirt and almost doesn’t want to take it off her. In the end, he does-- Calum lets the skirt fall onto a pool at their feet. Without even prompting she falls to her hands, ass grinding against his hips. He traces her spine with the pads of his fingers, following all the way down, over the curve of her ass and down to the opening in the panties. His fingers gather a bit of her arousal.

“Oh,” he groans. “So wet for me,” he hums with approval.

“Always for you,” she sighs. Calum teases her clit--a featherlight touch as he dances over her core. She lets herself fall a little bit more into the mattress--another moan leaving her lips when Calum takes one finger down from her clit to teasing her entrance.

Calum pulls away, bring his wet fingers to his lips and sucking them clean. “Taste just like heaven,” he hums. He gingerly guides her back to standing and uses her hips to get her to face him again.

More kisses are shared before they fall onto the mattress. Calum takes hold of one of the straps around her thigh and tugs her down, closer to him and she laughs. It gets caught off and morphed into a moan as Calum’s tongue licks a wide stripe up her. He’s careful of the mesh material of her panties, but knows that carefulness won’t last long. Not when her arousal coats his tongue. Not when her nails scratch over the muscles of his shoulders or tangle into the curls on his head.

She melts under the work of his mouth. The mattress merely becoming the vessel to hold the mess she’s bound to make and become. The room echoes the moans and slurps. Fingers gripping at the sheet, she chants Calum’s name. His tongue working magic over her core and just when she thinks she couldn’t possibly handle anything more, she notices the stretch at the addition of his fingers.

“Fuck,” she whines, lifiting one leg and he slips in even deeper, curling his fingers and hitting just the right spot.

Calum hungers for her pleasure--the high-pitched whine and groan as she releases. Some days it’s just the sound he needs to ground him. She gives short and breathless huffs, and quivers underneath him. “Gonna be a good girl?” Calum asks, fingers still pumping at her.

“Yes, oh yes, I will.”

“Gonna cum for me?”

“I want to, yes I’ll come for you. Make me your good girl.” Her voice sounds far away, as if she’s not fully cognizant of what she’s saying. Not quite babbling, but definitely talking so fast words bump into each other and slur together.

Calum grins, sucking at her clit again and she groans, head throwing back against the pillows. Her toes are curling--her whole body growing warmer with the passing second. The heat coils in her lower gut and she’s pleading. Though, she’s not sure who she is really meaning to plead to, but she wants to cum so badly.

Then it finally happens, one moment she’s sure she’s nearly in tears and the next, the coil snaps. She squeezes, hips raising off the bed and Calum continues to ride out her orgasm, gently pressing her back down into the bed. She hisses and starts to push at his shoulders, the signal that it’s too much. So Calum places one last kiss to her clit before pulling away from her glistening core.

Beneath him, eyes fluttering close, she looks angelic. Calum holds himself up above her and just watches the way she tries to collect her breath. “You’re beautiful, you know?” he whispers, not wanting to shatter the silence.

“No kidding?” she teases, winding her arms around his neck. The necklace dangles just a little in her face and she takes one hand to trace the chain. Hooking her fingers into it, she tugs Calum down to her. The taste of her arousal on Calum’s tongue makes her head spin. Calum caresses her side and stomach as the kiss deepens. Here is all they need--the soft and deep kisses, the moans that they swallow from each other.

Her hands leave from around his neck and begin to push down his sweatpants and underwear. And he lets her, even pulls back to kneel on his knees as she sits up. Their kiss hardly breaks and she’s quick to tug the cotton material down, hands wrapping around his length.

He groans at the squeeze--nothing too hard just enough pressure to make his whole body ignite. Her hand pumps him, once, then twice slowly and teasing him. “Baby,” he sighs, relishing the feeling of her hands working over him. The stay like that only for a minute or two before Calum pauses her to step down and full disrobe.

When he climbs back onto the bed, he crawls over her. “Welcome back, handsome,” she greets.

“Oh, it’s so good to be back,” he returns, grinning.

She runs her fingers over the tattoos decorating his chest, out of habit, out of something to ground her for a moment. There’s no way he’s real and it shouldn’t ever shock her like this. But sometimes it sneaks up on her and the realization of how madly in love she is with his man hits her all over again.

“What are you thinking about?” Calum asks.

“How much I love you,” she answers softly.

“I love you too,” he returns, bending down to kiss her. It’s soft and sweet--the kiss. For a moment, they just inhale the breaths of the other. It’s a tender moment, one that neither one wants to interrupt, so they let it linger, smiling at each other. She stretches up to kiss him, one hand trailing between their bodies and Calum catches the hint all too quickly when she traces along his length.

“I haven’t forgotten, love,” he exhales in a breathy laugh. “Trust me, I could never forget.” Once lined up, Calum’s slow to sink into her. One, he wants to drag this out, enjoy every inch of him that she grips of him. And two, because he wants to make sure that even in the lull that she’s ready to take him.

Her head falls back, hair pushing into the pillow and neck exposing itself to him. A tempting sight but Calum loses himself in the feeling of her wetness. He’s slow, pulling out just a bit before sinking further back into her. Her sighs and words of encouragement are soft from beneath him but they fuel him.

The pace quickens and both of them groan at the ecstasy. Out of reflex, she lifts one leg to readjust her hip flexor and Calum brings it up, resting her ankle on his shoulder. He kisses over the joint and the anklet, savoring just how much of her he can feel like this.

The chain dangles in her face, brushing in the valley of her breast and she revels in the feeling of Calum reaching the full depths of her body. She digs her nails into his flesh, more curses falling from her lip. But some of them get lost in the groans that win out. “God,” she huffs. “You’re everywhere.” And though it’s a bit of strain to get the words out because Calum’s pace is relentless as he snaps his hips into hers, she pushes the words out.

“You always take me so well,” he praises, watching the way her face contorts. “Oh, so soon, love? You’re going to cum again for me so fucking soon, like a good girl.”

Her whine slips out first but she nods, feeling the coil tightening yet again in her lower abdomen. Her body is hot, and she can already feel the prickle of sweat on her forehead. “Please, baby, please,” she begs.

“As you wish,” he hums, his own orgasm approaching faster than he anticipated. His body humming as the warmth spreads. The bed rocks just a little, hitting the wall and the sounds echo around them as they sigh and moan to each other. But the only thing that really matters to them, is each other.

“Fuck, baby,” he whispers, voice straining as she orgasms. No noise comes from her, but her mouth opens like if she had the breath she’d definitely be screaming his name. This time the quakes last longer, her whole body shaking. “You’re okay, you’re okay,” he hums, bumping his nose against her jaw, still riding through her orgasm.

“Shit, oh my god,” she shudders, wrapping her arms around his neck.

There’s a slight hiss when Calum moves again, and he kisses over her face, starting with her nose and then moving to her cheeks. Another quake takes her and Calum, not anticipating it, groans-- his orgasm now right on the edge. It won’t be much longer, but she nibbles at his earlobe. “Thank you,” she whispers. “Made me feel so fucking good. I want you to cum in me. So fucking deep,” she hums.

And while Calum’s trying to get his own rebuttal to the tip of his tongue, she squeezes around him. “Fuck,” he yelps just a little, his body erupting with his orgasm. His body shudders and he’s so blindsided by the feeling, his slips just a little, more of his weight settling onto her than usual.

She doesn’t say anything, just hums at the feeling of him succumbing to the pleasure. “Oh, that’s what I wanted,” she encourages. It leaves her throat like a purr and Calum shivers again at the sound.

They lay together, for a moment, her nails scratching lightly at the muscles in his back. Calum sinks into her, body going heavy. Her slight shift squeezes around him and he groans, sensitive. “Don’t--I can’t,” he laughs.

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to.” Even her own voice sounds heavy and slurred. She kisses his temple and Calum pushes up. He’s slow to pull out, enjoying the drips that follow of his own release spilling out of her. With one finger he gently scopes it back up and into her. The familiar twinge of desire pulls at his lower gut and it’s almost enough. She even shivers, but Calum watches the way her eyes stay closed.

“You okay?” he asks.

“Sleepy now,” she returns.

“Let’s get cleaned up first and then we can nap.” His voice sounds farther away towards the end of the sentence and she assumes he went to the attached bathroom. The rush of water from the sink confirms it. Something wet and warm presses against her--no doubt Calum with a warm washcloth.

The clean up is swift as both of them share a shower and then under the sheets, they curl up around each other. Calum kisses the top of her head as she nuzzles in closely. “I want pancakes after our nap,” she mutters.

“I think we still have some blueberries.”

She pops up onto her elbow and grins a little. “It’s like you can read my mind.”

Calum laughs. “Maybe just a little bit.”