#those who dont? i do the bare minimum and complain about you to my coworkers

[gelata-pisces]

The greatest act of hypocrisy I've seen lately is adults telling their children to ask for help whenever needed, "you need to use your words if you want help/I can't help you if you don't speak to me" and "don't be afraid to ask" yet they themselves have the audacity to stand and stare at retail workers, expecting them to read their minds and immediately run over to them without prompting instead of asking with words for assistance

[furfunsfurrynsfw]

The LGBT Problem...

Before I go any further, before you start typing some slur, let me explain that I am bisexual. That I'm a guy who likes dicks sometimes, and other times likes a pair of tits. So understand this is coming from someone who is a part of the community itself, and as a furry too, who is speaking like this.

Society is hitting this... "Peak"... I guess... Where everyone wants to be who they want to be. Everyone wants to be different, and I fully believe in everyone's rights to be free with what they want to be. Transgenders shouldnt be made fun of if they feel like they arent what they were born as, and I totally support a trans female making the bodily change of chopping off that penis and making themselves... Well, them! I have many, many problems with the community itself, however. A community I once loved until I started seeing the unnecessary movements, the whining, the complaining (seriously, hold off your typing, I'm not done).

I have a friend who is a trans-male, three, actually. I have two friends who are trans-female. But all of them differ in personalities. I want to start with a guy who I am just going to name as friend "Z" for privacy reasons. Z loves to play jazz music, and he enjoys hanging out with all his friends. While I'm not super close friends with him, I knew quite a bit about Z. First off, Z was born a female (seriously... Keep your fingers off the comments and the keyboard or touch screen or whatever you're using to read this) but believed that he was male throughout his entire life. Z has a more... *time to piss off some LGBT people* "feminine" body, even as my senior year ended. Well, whenever I would talk to Z, I would accidentally use the wrong pronouns. On occasion, I would accidentally say "she/her." But Z understood that, he didnt make a big deal out of it. Instead, he let it go because I was a friend who sometimes said the wrong thing. I was thankful because Ive seen how hateful this gender movement has become. Why do people point and laugh at us these days? ... Because the movement is just a fucking joke.

Look at it, people cant even decide who is supposed to be in the LGBT community anymore. Everything feels to be in shambles, torn apart by ourselves and our lack of awareness. I don't believe in very many genders, and its not because it isnt possible. All it creates in the long run is a complicated legal system that many wont understand. Change takes time, and some people refuse to change. A gay friend of mine - whom I will name as "Chap" - has tried to argue so many times that I'm wrong. Her arguments are rarely backed however. It reminds me of the "Black Lives Matter" movement, and I completely understood why the movement was created. But as soon as anyone tried to say that any other lives matter, it was deemed offensive.

I'm white. I'm Caucasian. I'm born from Germans. I have a Nazi ancestor. Yet I believe everyone should be treated equal. These movements aren't about being equal with the top dog anymore. They're about being above the top dog, making the top dog their slaves. Real talk here, I'm an author who wants to get scholarships and grant money for college. Do you know how much money I can get? Not much, just because I'm white and just because I dont play football. Why? Thats it. I dont know. I looked for scholarships but the only ones offered that I could take were for maybe $25. Whats that going to do for me? Buy me some ramen? Thats about all that money is good for. I hate sitting in the back lines with no fair shot at grants of $5000 and $10000. I come from a low-mid class family. We don't have the money for college, unless I go forty years in to debt. Probably sixty.

Someone in my town had to watch a dilemma in his workplace unfold recently. One of his coworkers, a guy, is very very productive. Like, top of the line productive at the workplace. He is always doing his job and is always working hard every shift. But a few months ago, a woman in the workplace noticed that her pay wasnt equal to his. Many in the workplace environment had to watch as this top worker quit his job because the CEO was too afraid to be sued by the girl who wanted equal pay as a guy who did twice as much work as she did.

Ask yourself this...

Is that fair?

This man - who worked 8 to 10 hour shifts - quit because a woman threatened to sue the bosses for giving him more pay for what seems like the same job? Yet he doesnt just do the bare minimum. Half the time, he is like a manager. He worked there for two years. This girl worked there for maybe six months. Why should she have equal pay to someone else if she doesnt go above and beyond?

She shouldn't.

Thats just one reason why this cause is a fucking joke. The laughing stock of the entire world. CEO's are afraid to fire female workers for not doing their job, male workers are quitting nice environments because the trans-somethingorother wants equal pay for less work, people think they should be paid more for little work at all. The average person thinks two years should always yield a raise. False. If youre doing the minimum of work required, you shouldnt get a raise at all.

I get that trans people are more likely to be brutally killed, but those facts aren't even supported by large amounts. Research teams twist facts and spin them just a little bit so that they can be used differently. I once read an article that said 48% of the gaming community was female. No, its not. Do you know how to get a number that high for female gamers? You start adding things that arent really "games" at all. I'm not saying female gamers don't exist, I know plenty. But I also know that it isnt anywhere near 50%, especially not that close. How does one manipulate these facts then? They redefine something, they tell this thing that it is something else. Tell me, is your mother who plays Words With Friends on Facebook a "gamer" by "gamer" definition? Most of you probably would say no, but is WWF not a game? It is, but it isnt anything big. When I think of gamer, I think of casual players who actually play console and pc games that have real content to them. Games like Skyrim, Overwatch, Red Dead, Super Mario, Sonic... All kinds if games, violent, puzzle, rpg, you name it. But is the mobile gamer a true-to-heart gamer? Maybe PUBG or Fortnite players... But beyond that, not very many games can truly be called games. Theyre just little addicting apps.

So when you tell me that "trans people are 25% more likely to be killed", did you only take your news off articles? Because few places report a white man's death anymore. I wouldn't trust the "fact" I gave. I'm sure aggression and hostility towards trans people is increased, and I'm sure they are targeted for assault and murder. But maybe only an extra 5% to 10%. Maybe.

I also understand that trans people are more likely to have their family and friends turn their backs on them. Chap tried telling me that if she told her parents, they would flip (this argument was five or six years ago). Well, Chap's parents learned she was gay... And they still accepted her. In fact, theyre helping her through all her actual mental problems like Depression, which she actually has. They told her what they always did, she wasnt allowed to date until she was 16. She started dating when she was 16, met a really nice girl and her parents loved the girl and made her a part of the family. I know this isnt true for everyone, some people do have those parents who hate their kids for being gay, bi, trans and all that but many will still love their children no matter what.

What makes this gender movement a joke is that misgendering someone should now be "terms for assault/misdemeanor". But why? So that these movement people can get more funds because they could legally sue others? I make mistakes, but because of my mistake, I should be tossed in jail or forced to pay $100K in "emotional damages" and a therapist because I made a mistake? Ive made the mistake of misgendering others several times, yet never before has any of them cared except for one. I'm no longer friends with that person, not because they're trans, but because they were being an asshole about my mistake.

You tell people like me to think before we speak? Go get some facts, real facts. Back up and support claims with evidence, not emotions. Using emotions will only lead to more trouble and abuse of a legal system. God knows Canada's legal system has been abused ever since the laws were put in place about the whole "misgendering" thing... And I actually like Canada.

Think. God dammit, think. I hate movements, theyre always causing more problems than theyre solving, and they rarely ever solve the problem intended to solve anyways!

I dont believe in more than 3 genders for legal reasons, not biological. How about we stop throwing science out the window? Whatever happened to the "stop labelling" movement... Eh...?

[seeking-sunshine-sea-happiness]

11 ways to be a slightly better human

We are in a time where we all need a list. 7 reasons why your zodiac sign is the worst, 20 reasons why you suck at life, 13 ways to declutter your mess of a brain etc. We need these lists to have something to relate to, something to validate we aren't alone in this gigantic massive negative crumbling world. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it. We all need answers to these problems we have within us. These problems we feel we need to protect, so we bottle them up and never share them. WHY? Because God forbid we share our worries or we might be judged or even worse (GASP) embarrassed that we are a disgusting human, walking around with our gross stinky feelings/emotions/thoughts. EW  But really I need these lists too, because you see even as a nearing 30 year old (I know I am nearing grandmahood, grow up.) I still don't always have my crap together. In fact I don't know if I ever will and yeah thats certainly the most terriiying but also completely liberating thing. So here is my list on how to be a better human, how to open up, how to manage your time, how to communicate better, how to admit your'e wrong, and how to procrastinate efficiently. Basically this is my life on how to live each moment as your most authentic, mistake making, human living, open hearted self.

1. BE KIND.

We say it all the time. We share quotes about it. Man even Cinderella is on board with it, and Cinderella is amazing. Like seriously guys, genuinely smile at everyone you see, hold the door (ladies can do it too), acknowledge the homeless (wo)man on the corner even if you can't spare some change. Leave a note for a friend/coworker to brighten their day. Call your grandparents if you still can. Change someone's day with a simple act of just treating every single person how you want to treated. Not only does it require the smallest amount of effort, you might actually find that negative closed off armour melt away a little bit.  

2. WORK HARD  

Let's face it. NO one is going to do the work for us as much as we'd love that. Getting somewhere in life requires ultimate effort. Not just the bare minimum, but above and beyond, blood, sweat, and tears kind of effort. Believe me, its exhausting. But the pay off is worth it. If you're like me in the freelance/artist world, finding work can be a full time job. But when you get to work for yourself, all of that hard work is the ultimate reward, even if it doesn't always feel like it.  Just put in some elbow grease and dont stop.

3. PRACTICE PATIENCE.  

Success, love, finding yourself, money, etc. What do all of those things have in common? They require time to acquire and grow.  We work hard and search endlessly to figure out how we can get these things but we never take the time to allow everything to play out how they should. Put in the effort in life necessary to grow our assets and let it all just happen. Stop for a moment each day and breathe. Reflect. Meditate. Slow down just a little bit and enjoy each moment for what its worth, instead of rushing to get to the finish line.  Unless you have a deadline, then do that fast.

4. LET IT GO

There I said it. Let it go. LET IT GO. What exactly is the "IT"?  It doesn't matter. Its the past. It is unchangeable. It is absolutely most certainly not going to define you unless you let it. You had a horrific breakup. You lost all your money gambling on a boat. You cheated on your spouse. You hurt someone's feelings. You didn't get the 1,000 auditions you went to. Your credit sucks. You failed the spelling bee? All these things are things we don't want to experience or shouldn't have done. But guess what? They happened and Y O U have the ability to pick yourself up, move on, and make the changes to get out of that funk. Do it. You'll feel amazing.

5. COMMUNICATION IS KING

Use your words. Sing them. Scream them. Write them down. But most importantly, get those words out in to the world. We all spend so much time complaining on the internet, or to our friends/family/whoever will listen about the most trivial stuff. Instead we should be talking to the people it pertains to. You don't like something your husband did? You were unfairly treated at work? You feel you're being taken advantage of? You didn't get paid what you were promised? Say something. If you do nothing. If you say nothing. Nothing will ever ever ever ever change. Communucating with one another can seriously change the world.

6. SHARE YOUR SUCCESSES (with no expectations of return)

Many many moons ago when I first started modeling, I didn't have any one to guide me. I didn't have a single person to tell me if something was a scam, or that I shouldn't pay for this or that, don't cut your hair, learn how to dress, what is in a model bag? The internet wasn't really a tool at the time. We barely used emails for bookings. Anyways. It's been my vow and I've felt my duty to mentor/guide/pass on the torch to others when I can. Sharing is literally one of the best things we can do for ourselves and others. Not only does it make you feel good to help someone else out, you are also giving someone else a chance to have a great experience.

What do I mean by sharing your successes?

Example: I can't make a particulr modeling job on Sunday (true story) so I reached out to my network of models and passed on the amazing opportunity to someone else.

Moral of the story. Stop being so competitve and afraid that another model (person) might take your client. If you are good at what you do, people will always remember you. They will remember your hard work, your kindness, your ability to share, and eventually maybe just maybe you'll refer enough people they'll start paying you for it? (Hey its happened to me a few times)

7. DROP YOUR EGO (sort of)

Okay. EGO isn't all bad. We all need to believe in ourselves fully. So.....don't drop your ego completely. DO allow yourself to be more open. I believe that many opportunities are missed because we think we are "too good" for something.  We all want to hold ourselves very high, because we think we are better than something. We think because we made this much money doing this job that we should always continue to make that much and never less, or we've worked this job so we can't be seen doing something we consider beneath it. STOP THAT RIGHT NOW. Yes. We do need to have standards. We do need to demand that we get paid what we are worth. We do have to make sure we are not being taken advantage of. BUT what I have learned is that you can never judge an opportunity because you never know what it might turn into.

8. STOP COMPARING YOURSELF

Nobody is perfect, I repeat, NO LIVING HUMAN IS PERFECT. Although we are all pretty guilty of this on the daily reg. BUT just stop it. We are our worst critics, but it isn't our place to judge others or compare ourselves to others. Look within yourself, if you do not like what you see, change it. But stop tearing yourself down trying to be someone else. Your successes, your path, your journey, your life. That is all you. You will never anyone other than you, so embrace that fully.  Be you and be proud.

9. BE PRESENT

GET OFF YOUR CELL PHONES.  It's rude.  It's boring. I've fallen into the habit of getting so annoyed that people are on the phones ignoring the moment that I've just started being on mine, because I hate talking to thin air.

Nothing on any social media page will ever be as important as the conversation you are having with a real live friend, spouse, family member. I don't care how boring the conversation is, when you refuse to absorb the people in your presence, or the moment, you are refusing the have a normal open friendship/relationship with that person.  So if you are having a nice dinner, leave your phone in your purse/pocket/car. Pay attention. The world is beautiful.  Your phone can't hold you at night.

10. CREATE YOUR OWN HAPPINESS

You are completely responsible for your own happiness.  You need to get your life in order, pave your own way, make your own money, have your own individual successes, learn to cook for yourself, whatever. You need to be your own individual. It should never ever be up to another person to make you happy.

INSTEAD- You should be with a person or people or friends who enhance your existence. Who have their own game going and can run alongside you and share happiness. Right? Happiness is shared. And if that isn't the case, run as far away from the negativity that is bringing you down son!  

*Side note- happiness isn't constant ok? Like get a grip. Its work, just like everything else. So if sometimes you have a day where you aren't super happy, its not the end of the world. Promise. Go pet some puppies, sip a latte or unicorn frapp if you have that fat heart, and sleep on it.

11. TAKE A LEAP OF FAITH

YES! Do something bold, something that you know deep down you want to do.  Something you maybe always dreamed of. If you can look deep inside your soul and say, if I do this I will be with the person of my dreams, I can live in a place I've never lived, I can change my life, I can live a little differently, DO IT. It might be scary. It might be the biggest uncertainity ever. It might not even be anything you ever expected. And it might not even work out. But if you don't do it, you will spend your life wondering what if?

As Eminem once nobaly said:

Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity To seize everything you ever wanted, in one moment Would you capture it or just let it slip?

If you don't take a leap of faith at least once in your life, to do something that might change your life forever, why not take it?  I did.  And I literally woulnd't change it for the world. <3

[seeking-sunshine-sea-happiness]

11 Ways To Be A Slightly Better Human 

We are in a time where we all need a list. 7 reasons why your zodiac sign is the worst, 20 reasons why you suck at life, 13 ways to declutter your mess of a brain etc. We need these lists to have something to relate to, something to validate we aren’t alone in this gigantic massive negative crumbling world. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it. We all need answers to these problems we have within us. These problems we feel we need to protect, so we bottle them up and never share them. WHY? Because God forbid we share our worries or we might be judged or even worse (GASP) embarrassed that we are a disgusting human, walking around with our gross stinky feelings/emotions/thoughts. EW  But really I need these lists too, because you see even as a nearing 30 year old (I know I am nearing grandmahood, grow up.) I still don’t always have my crap together. In fact I don’t know if I ever will and yeah thats certainly the most terriiying but also completely liberating thing. So here is my list on how to be a better human, how to open up, how to manage your time, how to communicate better, how to admit your'e wrong, and how to procrastinate efficiently. Basically this is my life on how to live each moment as your most authentic, mistake making, human living, open hearted self.

1. BE KIND.

We say it all the time. We share quotes about it. Man even Cinderella is on board with it, and Cinderella is amazing. Like seriously guys, genuinely smile at everyone you see, hold the door (ladies can do it too), acknowledge the homeless (wo)man on the corner even if you can’t spare some change. Leave a note for a friend/coworker to brighten their day. Call your grandparents if you still can. Change someone’s day with a simple act of just treating every single person how you want to treated. Not only does it require the smallest amount of effort, you might actually find that negative closed off armour melt away a little bit.  

2. WORK HARD  

Let’s face it. NO one is going to do the work for us as much as we’d love that. Getting somewhere in life requires ultimate effort. Not just the bare minimum, but above and beyond, blood, sweat, and tears kind of effort. Believe me, its exhausting. But the pay off is worth it. If you’re like me in the freelance/artist world, finding work can be a full time job. But when you get to work for yourself, all of that hard work is the ultimate reward, even if it doesn’t always feel like it.  Just put in some elbow grease and dont stop.

3. PRACTICE PATIENCE.  

Success, love, finding yourself, money, etc. What do all of those things have in common? They require time to acquire and grow.  We work hard and search endlessly to figure out how we can get these things but we never take the time to allow everything to play out how they should. Put in the effort in life necessary to grow our assets and let it all just happen. Stop for a moment each day and breathe. Reflect. Meditate. Slow down just a little bit and enjoy each moment for what its worth, instead of rushing to get to the finish line.  Unless you have a deadline, then do that fast.

4. LET IT GO

There I said it. Let it go. LET IT GO. What exactly is the “IT”?  It doesn’t matter. Its the past. It is unchangeable. It is absolutely most certainly not going to define you unless you let it. You had a horrific breakup. You lost all your money gambling on a boat. You cheated on your spouse. You hurt someone’s feelings. You didn’t get the 1,000 auditions you went to. Your credit sucks. You failed the spelling bee? All these things are things we don’t want to experience or shouldn’t have done. But guess what? They happened and Y O U have the ability to pick yourself up, move on, and make the changes to get out of that funk. Do it. You’ll feel amazing.

5. COMMUNICATION IS KING

Use your words. Sing them. Scream them. Write them down. But most importantly, get those words out in to the world. We all spend so much time complaining on the internet, or to our friends/family/whoever will listen about the most trivial stuff. Instead we should be talking to the people it pertains to. You don’t like something your husband did? You were unfairly treated at work? You feel you’re being taken advantage of? You didn’t get paid what you were promised? Say something. If you do nothing. If you say nothing. Nothing will ever ever ever ever change. Communucating with one another can seriously change the world.

6. SHARE YOUR SUCCESSES (with no expectations of return)

Many many moons ago when I first started modeling, I didn’t have any one to guide me. I didn’t have a single person to tell me if something was a scam, or that I shouldn’t pay for this or that, don’t cut your hair, learn how to dress, what is in a model bag? The internet wasn’t really a tool at the time. We barely used emails for bookings. Anyways. It’s been my vow and I’ve felt my duty to mentor/guide/pass on the torch to others when I can. Sharing is literally one of the best things we can do for ourselves and others. Not only does it make you feel good to help someone else out, you are also giving someone else a chance to have a great experience.

What do I mean by sharing your successes?

Example: I can’t make a particulr modeling job on Sunday (true story) so I reached out to my network of models and passed on the amazing opportunity to someone else.

Moral of the story. Stop being so competitve and afraid that another model (person) might take your client. If you are good at what you do, people will always remember you. They will remember your hard work, your kindness, your ability to share, and eventually maybe just maybe you’ll refer enough people they’ll start paying you for it? (Hey its happened to me a few times)

7. DROP YOUR EGO (sort of)

Okay. EGO isn’t all bad. We all need to believe in ourselves fully. So…..don’t drop your ego completely. DO allow yourself to be more open. I believe that many opportunities are missed because we think we are “too good” for something.  We all want to hold ourselves very high, because we think we are better than something. We think because we made this much money doing this job that we should always continue to make that much and never less, or we’ve worked this job so we can’t be seen doing something we consider beneath it. STOP THAT RIGHT NOW. Yes. We do need to have standards. We do need to demand that we get paid what we are worth. We do have to make sure we are not being taken advantage of. BUT what I have learned is that you can never judge an opportunity because you never know what it might turn into.

8. STOP COMPARING YOURSELF

Nobody is perfect, I repeat, NO LIVING HUMAN IS PERFECT. Although we are all pretty guilty of this on the daily reg. BUT just stop it. We are our worst critics, but it isn’t our place to judge others or compare ourselves to others. Look within yourself, if you do not like what you see, change it. But stop tearing yourself down trying to be someone else. Your successes, your path, your journey, your life. That is all you. You will never anyone other than you, so embrace that fully.  Be you and be proud.

9. BE PRESENT

GET OFF YOUR CELL PHONES.  It’s rude.  It’s boring. I’ve fallen into the habit of getting so annoyed that people are on the phones ignoring the moment that I’ve just started being on mine, because I hate talking to thin air.

Nothing on any social media page will ever be as important as the conversation you are having with a real live friend, spouse, family member. I don’t care how boring the conversation is, when you refuse to absorb the people in your presence, or the moment, you are refusing the have a normal open friendship/relationship with that person.  So if you are having a nice dinner, leave your phone in your purse/pocket/car. Pay attention. The world is beautiful.  Your phone can’t hold you at night.

10. CREATE YOUR OWN HAPPINESS

You are completely responsible for your own happiness.  You need to get your life in order, pave your own way, make your own money, have your own individual successes, learn to cook for yourself, whatever. You need to be your own individual. It should never ever be up to another person to make you happy.

INSTEAD- You should be with a person or people or friends who enhance your existence. Who have their own game going and can run alongside you and share happiness. Right? Happiness is shared. And if that isn’t the case, run as far away from the negativity that is bringing you down son!  

*Side note- happiness isn’t constant ok? Like get a grip. Its work, just like everything else. So if sometimes you have a day where you aren’t super happy, its not the end of the world. Promise. Go pet some puppies, sip a latte or unicorn frapp if you have that fat heart, and sleep on it.

11. TAKE A LEAP OF FAITH

YES! Do something bold, something that you know deep down you want to do.  Something you maybe always dreamed of. If you can look deep inside your soul and say, if I do this I will be with the person of my dreams, I can live in a place I’ve never lived, I can change my life, I can live a little differently, DO IT. It might be scary. It might be the biggest uncertainity ever. It might not even be anything you ever expected. And it might not even work out. But if you don’t do it, you will spend your life wondering what if?

As Eminem once nobaly said:

Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity To seize everything you ever wanted, in one moment Would you capture it or just let it slip?

If you don’t take a leap of faith at least once in your life, to do something that might change your life forever, why not take it?  I did.  And I literally woulnd’t change it for the world. <3