#those two are whole-ass homosexuals and i will not believe your lies

[evilkitten3]

everything i've ever said about naruto is correct. if kishimoto said something that contradicts it then it's doubly correct. what does he know

[doomspiral]

Doom's Movie Rec List

Some of these are bangers, some of these are the worst thing I have ever seen in my life, but I think they are all worth watching and enjoying one way or another. Sometimes the enjoyment is cringe and sometimes its staring at a wall for three hours. <3

The seventh seal (1957)

Classic chess game with Death film, I presume the entire thing is Bergman staring into the soul of the viewer in dead silence until you can read his mind.

The cabinet of Dr. Caligary (1920)

Strange, lurching, I watched this in German without knowing enough to keep up and I believe my confusion added to the experience.

Atomic blonde (2017)

This is my favorite movie. This is the one that I can't stop rewriting in my fics. I can't get the "lies" soliloquy out of my mind. My soul is tied to this fillum. Hot insane woman does a lot of violence, kisses women, beats up a guy who truly deserves it. Iron Curtain Spy Nonsense.

Hackers (1994)

Am I depressing you? Good, watch Hackers to experience child-like wonder and also see a grown man skateboard down a foggy street in the middle of the night to harass the homosexual teenagers (and slim shady) he's beefing with.

The core (2003)

This is not a good movie. But there is a little freak in there named "Rat" who I am obsessed with.

Angel's egg (1985)

This is the kind of movie where you have to not try to figure out what's going on and instead let it take you by the hands, just experience it, just keep your mouth shut and your mind at rest and you can consider the implications afterward when its safe.

Princess mononoke (1997)

I watched this as a child and saw those beasts dissolve into bloody worms and apparently that left a lasting mark on my brain.

Nausicaä of the valley of wind (1984)

I actually read the manga for this one but this is a movie rec list, so please go watch this for the death and rebirth vibes, and some mild foeyay yuri.

Invasion of the body snatchers (1978)

Horror movie that's odd and disturbing and clearly betraying some better dead than red fears, worth it for the horrible despicable freakish noise the guy makes at the end while pointing at the viewer.

Strange days (1995)

Please read up on this before watching it, it revolves around a fictional, then-futuristic critique of the adult film industry, HEAVY focus on the capitalistic dehumanization and devaluing of human life.

Underworld (2003)

Bad asses in leather fighting monsters. Core memory.

Blade (1998)

Bad asses in leather fighting monsters but maybe you need a break from how white this whole movie list is overall. That's okay, I see you, this vampire flick fucks severe.

Fright night (1985, 2011)

The first movie is pretty campy (fun) but the remake dug into my actual stressors and fears and scared the lights from my eyes for a day or two. Welcome... to FrrrighT NighT.

Dracula (1931, 1992)

First movie is a classic, this is thee one with the guy crawling around like a lizard and there's armadillos for no reason. The 90's version has no business being as deranged as it is and for this it is a core personality trait movie.

Fast&furious: Tokyo drift (2006)

Not sure I would say this is peak cinema but it's a racing movie that falls in line with the F&F tradition of being clearly in love with the entire premise, location, and cast. Rent free.

Drive (2011)

I like this movie because it is not about the guy getting the girl, it is about doing the right thing every single time because that's what it takes to be a real human bean. being. whichever. I was so obnoxious about this movie when I watched it with my now-ex gf that I wish I could siphon the memory of it out of her brain, because I kept pointing at actors I knew.

Green room (2015)

This is the best punk parable I can think of. Litany against not reading the room, litany against being the hero when there's no one to save, litany against thinking shared trauma is gonna get you any pussy.

Lords of chaos (2018)

I'm obsessed with the band Mayhem there is no other explanation.

There will be blood (2007)

WILD WEST TOXIC YAOI. I'm not apologizing for this summary and I'm not elaborating.

Butch Cassidy and the sundance kid (1969)

I don't know. I watched this in the wee hours of the morning with my best friend and actually cried about it. Doomed criminals and a famous final stand.

Saw (2004)

I used to watch Saw movies when I lived in the trailer park while hiding from my family in a neighbor's place so I don't know if these movies are good or if I needed to watch tortureporn to relax bcs the roof leaked on my bed when it rained? But I think everyone should at least watch the first movie or how are you going to play any games?

Chernobyl diaries (2012)

I walked out of this movie shaking head to toe and couldn't think about anything else for months. I don't think I'd be as scared now but I can't say if that's because I'm not 16 anymore. Warning against going into a dangerous situation with a guy you met off Craigslist.

Constantine (2005)

Demon hoards, evil angels, catholic bullshit, 9/10.

The neverending story (1984)

Well after all that let's reinstate some whimsy into our souls again bcs this is the Jim Henson Power Hour. This one is just a solid entry point into "puppets are fun and practical effects are my best friend".

The dark crystal (1982)

My babysitters put this on for me as a bed-time story when I was five (5) years old and I do not believe I slept, I think they regretted this and had to tell my parents what they did. But now I will never stop making Skeksis noises at people I love.

Labyrinth (1986)

Y'know the phenomenon of alt teens and preteens dating young adult men who are total and complete losers, including actual band members? It's not that this pre-dates any of that, but I believe it does a good job representing it through the lens of a modern fairy tale. Like when you watch this you have to realize this is wish fulfillment for people who want to be Sarah because their age-gap goth boyfriend in the real world is a manipulative disappointment.

Pacific rim (2013)

Love letter to the mecha and kaiju genre(s). Makes no sense, compels me though.

Eurotrip (2004)

This is the movie "Scotty doesn't know" is from. Some high schoolers fuck off to Europe and have the most misadventure possible. It's somehow exactly the kind of cringe humor you would expect from the 00's without being cruel or overly disgusting. I used to watch a lot of really bad 00's comedies and this is a good one I promise. Scussie.

Hamlet (1996)

Personality point, I think this is the best version on film because the guy actually looks like how I envisioned Hamlet. Ignore your girl! Avenge your dad!

Advantageous (2015)

This movie goes in on the connection between race and class in a sci-fi future where you can change the former through predatory, dangerous cosmetic surgery.

Gravity (2013)

This is my go-to movie when I need to sob like a sick little baby. Space travel as a metaphor for motherhood, spaceships as the womb, scientists are the babies who left their babies back on earth. It's about what you give up in the name of fulfilling your human urge for the unknown.

All clear on the western front (2022)

Thee anti-war fillum. Very well done. I never recovered from one of the final scenes to the point I wrote a final paper on it. Without spoiling it, the Ending gave me the feeling of when you're a kid and you want to go play, but you're grounded and you fall asleep listening to your friends outside in the street. I hope this sentence ruins your life if you watch this movie.

Inglorious basterds (2009)

They lock some nazis in a theatre and set them on fire, good cinema.

Shadow dancer (2012)

Domhnall Gleeson in one of his classically pathetic twink roles but its about British imperial violence and Irish reactionary violence.

Logan (2017)

Good art film, a story about dementia, legacies, and why putting children in cages is fucking evil.

The batman (2022)

Weird art film, next question.

Joker (2019)

I do not care about the opinions of straight men who watch things uncritically, this is a good movie because of the depictions of poverty in the US. I don't believe this needed to be about the DC Joker this should have been a standalone art film about a mime.

Dragonheart (1996)

Medieval era dragon nonsense, I will never be convinced this is a bad movie.

Sleeping beauty (1959)

Personality trait was rooting for the dragon.

Snow dogs (2002)

I'm not defending this one it stands on its own, please watch this movie if you wanna see Cuba Gooding Jr. bite a husky's ear so it'll stop ruining his life.

Luck of the irish (2001)

This movie is genuinely so bad I have considered it some kind of hate crime since the day it came out, because I watched this the day it was a direct-to-TV movie. I think I was too young to feel insulted but I was deeply, deeply bemused.

Black swan (2010)

There is a woman inside her and she is trying to crash the plane. Can I get away with calling this foe-yay yuri also? I'm going to.

I, tonya (2017)

Sufjan Stevens' song "Tonya Harding in Eb major" makes me so unreasonably emotional, so one day I watched this movie and then the film of the 1988 Calgary Olympics in the living room while all of my housemates had to sneak around in the dark. This is just a solid movie about ambition, betrayal, abuse, tragedy, and having to get over it and move on because you're not dead yet.

Phantom of the opera (2004)

Whatever was going on in Labyrinth, this is the adult version. Weird man in a sewer possessing a soprano. I think there's some gender happening here but it gets a little lost under the love(?) triangle.

A knights tale (2001)

Just go watch some more medieval nonsense, it's good for you, its fun.

White chicks (2004)

I'm not defending this choice, it's a good movie. "You were thinking it" "Yeah but you said it" there are some phrases you could use to see if I had been replaced with a body double and this is one of them.

Heathers (1988)

Ouughhgh ough oh. Personality trait. Watched this because I kept listening to the musical soundtrack, love both but agree the themes are much tighter in the movie. This is just a fun schlock to tell teens life is stupid and difficult and bad things will happen, so don't abandon your friends.

Priscilla queen of the desert (1994)

Classic homo fillum, if you wonder why I write Gilbert Like That it's partially because of the mean little fruit from this movie. It's about the Aussie drag scene and who belongs in the queer community.

300 (2006)

I'm not sure that I would call this a "good" movie, but it's a classic as far as I'm concerned. This is the "THIS IS SPARTA" movie.

The foreigner (2017)

I actually don't remember the plot of this one too solidly but the suspense and action were solid, and I enjoyed the setup. Good for if you wanna be really pissed off for two hours.

Conan the barbarian (1982)

Look at me. Look into my eyes. You're going to watch this movie. You're going to think about the wheel of pain and you're going to go wow, this is so stupid. Don't look away I'm not done. You're going to watch this movie and then you're going to get a couple of paper towel tubes and find someone to beat the shit out of each other with the tubes.

Law abiding citizen (2009)

I don't know I think watching this movie changed my brain chemistry in very special ways. Guy fucking loses it and becomes a problem for his local community by kidnapping and torturing people who killed his family. Cathartic and vile.

Black dog (1998)

:D DO YOU WANNA WATCH AN ACTION MOVIE ABOUT AN 18-WHEELER?

The hunt for red october (1990)

Almost forgot this one. Lithuanian Submariner off the shits, goes rogue, I'm not sure what accent Sean Connery is going for, I get the impression he just showed up to gigs and did whatever he wanted.

[tessatechaitea]

Superman: Year One: Book Two

John Romita Jr finally giving up and sending this cover as finished: "Maybe all the fucking teeth will distract from Superman's leg."

No razor made by humans can cut Superman's hair! I bet he had to will his hair to fall out as they attempted to cut it.

The Navy officers pick Clark to train as a sniper because Clark doesn't know how to not be perfect at everything he does. I guess when Pa told him not to show off or to stand out, Clark wasn't really listening. But now that he's in the Navy, I guess he's contractually obligated to kill loads and loads of non-Americans with his super abilities. I don't get this whole "Clark Kent joins the Navy" story arc. At first, I thought it was a way for Clark to meet Aquaman. Now I just think it's a way for Miller to showcase his weird sea-fucking kink.

If you've ever been to the ocean with Frank Miller, you've swam in his jizz.

I could never find the ocean sexy. The most terrifying experience I've ever had was getting caught on a boogie board out past the breakers of the Pacific after the sun went down. I had to constantly stop myself considering what might be lurking under the black mirrored surface of the ocean as I tried to keep calm and paddle back towards the lights of Santa Cruz. I was out there with my buddy Larry who killed himself earlier this year. My theory is that he never could get that nightmare experience out of his head. Or maybe it was depression. Sure, you're probably putting your money on depression. That's exactly something somebody who never floated on the ocean in the darkness of night would do. Clark notices mermaids swimming out in the ocean and one of his officers is all, "Yeah, boy. Mermaids! Sometimes guys try to fuck 'em but then they drown and we report them lost at sea and nobody asks no questions. You got me?!" And Clark is all, "Yes, sir! Don't try to fuck the mermaids, sir!" Clark decides that since he isn't allowed to fuck the mermaids, he should head into town and start a bar brawl. Clark meets a woman who's working on publishing a story about Navy guys who hang out in bars and defend women from civilians who get too handsy with female reporters. Clark once again finds himself overwhelmingly horny. Oh, not for the woman! But for the idea of being a reporter! He's just too young to realize that he's not into woman; he's into bylines and columns and exposés. But before he can fuck a newspaper, Clark blocks a punch some jerk throws at him, breaking the guy's arm (just like that fight he got in high school! Is this good writing where we see echoes of the character's past history or bad writing where the writer just can't think of new plot points? Who can tell?!), and starting an all out brawl. He walks the reporter home afterward, dreaming about that black ink coming off on his cock and balls. The next day, the training officer threatens to shoot him for causing trouble. Seems like an appropriate response. I guess Clark is learning that the military doesn't keep anybody safe. It's just a violent place where young people with no real hope of succeeding in civilian life go to gain instant meaning and heroic praise from others. That's like the opposite of journalism where young people with lofty ideals about changing the world by exposing truth and justice go to never actually do that and instead just parrot the lies told them by politicians because they don't understand the difference between being impartial and simply being a loudspeaker for misinformation. I don't know what I'm talking about anymore. Frank Miller has me so confused. I mean, Clark Kent is in the Navy! What the fuck is going on in Superman's First Year?! Wait. This is all happening in just one year? It's because Superman grows super fast under a yellow sun, right? After being treated like shit by his commanding officer, Clark decides to go fuck some mermaids. That'll show him!

Just another reason why Aquaman is a redundant piece of Justice League shit.

Why did DC decide to call this comic book "Superman: Year One"? I would have called it "Frank Miller's Stupid Version of Superman by Frank Miller." Underwater, Clark Kent meets Lori Lemaris. She leads him back to Atlantis where an experimental submarine has crashed into the city. Also, I don't know if this will soon be an important plot point but Clark Kent is suddenly wearing a huge watch on his left wrist. Up until the moment he dives in the ocean, Clark has never worn a watch in this series. How else is he going to be dealing with Atlantis's problems when he'll suddenly look at his wrist and say, "Jeezly crow! I've got to get back to base! I'll be back tomorrow night to fuck more mermaids! And help rebuild if I'm not too sleepy afterward"?

"The smell of fish poontang washes across Clark's senses, threatening to remove him from Atlantis and plop him down in Boner City."

What kind of an editor takes a look at the previous panel and doesn't ask, "Why, out of nowhere, are you discussing Clark's ability to stifle his sense of smell to keep from being distracted in a panel that depicts Lori Lemaris's ass?" It's a fair question. Clark looks at his watch and thinks, "Jeezly Crow! I've only got a few hours before bugle! I guess I can help rebuild Atlantis before then!" Once again, Clark's reward for saving a woman in trouble is sex with that woman. This might be a problematic message. Clark saves Lana from violent men. Clark bangs Lana. Clark saves the reporter from violent men. Clark bangs the reporter. Clark saves Lori Lemaris's ruined city from violent men and their submarines. Clark bangs Lori. I always suspected that sex was an expected reward for acting chivalrous! Thanks, Frank Miller, for justifying all the times I called a woman a bitch because she wouldn't sleep with me after I saved her by beating up a guy that had just called her a bitch! This is the Internet so I should probably explain that the previous sentence was a satirical critique of Miller's problematic message. I mean, sure, impressing a potential sexual partner is a good way to get that person interested in becoming your sexual partner! So the Lori Lemaris plea for Clark to fuck her hard after he helps isn't the worst depiction of a relationship. But having two other women saved by Clark from brutes who are threatening non-consensual sex reward Clark with sex is the worst depiction of a relationship. Also, the story doesn't explicitly state that Clark and the journalist from the bar have sex. But I can read between the panel breaks! A critical review aside: Frank Miller's narration in this series is confusing. Sometimes it's in third person and then it flips over to first person without the current narrative thought changing at all. It reads as sloppy, probably because it is sloppy. Clark and his fellow Navy SEAL recruits go on an emergency mission to kill some pirates. Clark watches a bunch of pirates get shot in the head but he doesn't pull the trigger so nobody can accuse him of having killed a man. In fact, he saves a bunch of men by holding a grenade in his hands as it blows. But because he refused to kill on command, he's discharged from the Navy. I guess the American military doesn't have time for people who won't follow an order to murder. Before Clark leaves the Navy, his commanding officer decides to give him some good advice about using his talents to help put fires out instead of causing more. Odd advice coming from a guy so hell bent on threatening to kill Clark and screaming at Clark to kill everybody he meets. I guess he's a complex character! After Clark leaves the Navy, he walks into the ocean to battle Poseidon for the hand of his daughter, Lori. Poseidon doesn't want Clark fucking his daughter because he wants to fuck his daughter. That's not something I made up the way I make up so many other things. Frank Miller made that bit up. I don't know why. Couldn't Poseidon have just not wanted his daughter marrying a non-Atlantean instead of making it about Poseidon wanting to be the only person fucking his daughter? Luckily Clark defeats Poseidon's Krakens so no father fucks their own daughter in this series, no matter how much I bet Frank Miller's original script read, "Poseidon fucks his daughter. A lot. Over and over. Oh boy! What a hit this comic is going to be!" In the end, Poseidon leaves the throne to pout and plot his revenge against Clark and the entire surface world. Clark and Lori settle down to rule Atlantis for as long as it takes me to read the third and final issue where, I'm certain, Clark will leave Lori to pursue his true love: writing opinion pieces about Superman for the Daily Planet. Superman: Year One: Book Two Rating: The first issue wasn't so bad that I didn't not want to read the second issue. But this issue was so terrible that I'm not sure I'll have the patience to write about the third issue. If I never post a review of the Book Three, it's because I just couldn't bare to think more than superficially about Frank Miller's writing. Also I might have simply thrown myself off of a building because John Romita Jr's art was so fucking terrible.

[katscratches]

Nice Girls Don’t, & Other Lies I Was Taught (part 1)

-- a comparison of sex education between generations --

Disclaimer:

I don't claim any sort of sociological or psychological background. My sole qualification for writing about the impact of a lack of sex education is, frankly, that I've had a lot of sex. This has turned into more of a memoir than anything, is certainly more opinion than fact, and draws heavily on my own personal experiences. Names will be changed as needed or requested for the sake of privacy.

Part 1: The Boring Yet Obligatory Introduction

Now that Pride month has drawn to a close �� yes, I know it's been a week already, but it's me, and you might have expected I'd come sliding in just after the last-minute, clothes askew and hair all mussed – I have been thinking quite a lot about how attitudes have changed regarding sex, gender, sexuality, sex education (all the fun stuff!) since I was a kid.

See, I have kids of my own. Teenagers, really. Two of them are even technically adults! I know, I know – I can't believe it either.  And the things they've learned in Canadian public schools over the last decade or so is a far cry from what I supposedly learned in 1980's Catholic school. They've learned about the mechanics of sex, the fluidity of gender, sexually transmitted infections, safe sex, etc. It's an eye-opener, let me tell you. The stuff they're taught now could fill volumes!

The stuff I learned wouldn't even make a satisfactory introductory paragraph.

When I originally conceived this idea, I was thinking of some sort of brief essay. But as I began actually sketching out ideas and outlines, so many memories surfaced, most of which I'd completely forgotten. I really felt they were too important to the subject as a whole for me to discard them, and this little idea grew. And grew. And before I knew it, this was turning into some kind of half-assed memoir.

This was not my original intention.

However, how can I possibly explain differences between my kids' sex education and my lack thereof, without also explaining how those very differences directly impacted my whole life?

I'd like to give you a little bit of background about myself, so you have some idea of where I'm coming from. I hope that's not too boring. I'm sorry if it is; I'm truly not a terribly exciting person. But the way I was raised and the people who raised me – and how they were raised -- do actually have a great deal to do with my attitudes toward all things sexual.

I was born in Toronto, Canada, in the summer of 1970 to a pair of rampantly horny teenagers – Catholic mum, Protestant dad. Birth control was not considered, clearly. And abortions were certainly not readily available. What was available was adoption, and I was made a ward of the Catholic Children's Aid Society quicker than you could spit. For a brief time, I lived with a foster family who had wanted to adopt me themselves, but decided against it as they already had eight kids of their own. Yes, EIGHT. They must have been very loving people; that's all I can say. Really loving. Like... all the time.

When I was roughly 3 months old, I was adopted by an older couple – they were both 40 years of age at the time of my adoption – who already had one natural child of their own, aged 4. My new parents fought a lot with each other when I was young. Most of the time it was verbal abuse, although there was one memorable time where my dad had slapped my mum across the face because she'd bitten his arm. I don't know what precipitated that fight. It may have been finances, as it was right around the time my dad had been laid off from work due to an economic depression in the early-mid 1970s. But who knows? They argued over nearly everything. They'd even once had an argument over Jello-O, which resulted on my dad deciding to sleep on the couch for the next twenty years! (I wish I was exaggerating that.)

Needless to say, they did not share a bedroom.

My brother and I used to pray for them to divorce. Although we always ended up having to take those prayers to Confession, what we really wanted was some peace and quiet. We were too young to know what went on behind closed bedroom doors, but we had an idea that maybe most parents at least shared a bed. All we could figure was that if they couldn't get along well enough to share a room, maybe they shouldn't be together at all.

Believe me when I say there was nothing sexual going on in that house, and I was about as innocent as you could get.

There were two main reasons my parents never divorced. First and foremost, they were Catholic. Divorce would have been a sin. The other reason was that it really never would have occurred to my mother at that time to want something different. Here's your bed; lie in it.

The Seventies must have been an interesting time, I think, with all the strangely mixed attitudes toward sex. On one hand, people were still dealing with the sexual hang-ups of earlier eras, where sex was barely talked about inside the bedroom, much less outside of it. But on the other hand, suddenly sex was everywhere. Feminism was booming. Homosexuality was beginning to be decriminalized. The book markets were fairly bursting with all manner of sexually liberating books – Erica Jong's Fear of Flying and Dr Alex Comfort's The Joy of Sex, for instance. And while Playboy had been around since the early Fifties, suddenly there was Playgirl, and the much more explicit Hustler. All of this led to the 1970s being referred to as a decade of sexual revolution.

Sex was finally ceasing to be such a taboo.

Not in my house. I grew up blissfully unaware of anything to do with physical love. I was a mostly happy kid, though very shy, and very sheltered. And as the youngest child out of all my cousins, there was literally no reason for me to ask about how babies were made, as there weren't any around.

This strangely sterile upbringing had a very lasting effect on me. To this day – no matter how many or what kind of things I've done --  I can't begin a conversation with my kids about anything to do with sex. I don't mean rude comments or dirty jokes – that's no issue – but an actual serious conversation? Not happening. If one of them brings up a topic, then they've broken the ice, and it's smooth sailing from there on in.

But I just can't bring myself to initiate it.

Notes:

At the present time, the outline I have for this has come to 18 chapters, including this introduction. I will try to update as often as I can, but I ask you to keep two things in mind. One, that I work full-time at a mentally exhausting job (although I do actually love it) and can't manage to get time to write every day, although I'm trying. Two, I am going to be moving house over the next few weeks, and I have an absolutely dreadful amount of packing still to do! Updates may come more regularly after I'm settled in my new home.

If you have any suggestions for topics you would like to see covered, please message me about it!

[almasidaliano]

Here’s the thing about Religion:

so i'm not religious. i am spiritual. to each's own, whatever you believe in, im simply happy you believe in something.

i grew up christian, i guess. uh baptist, ame, and non denominational. resonated most with non demoninational, even gave sermon when i was 15. and i loved it, truly. church is what threw me for a loop the most in religion, and members of the congregation. it's like hard to want to follow something when followers aren't people you would imagine when you think "Christ-like" you know?

i have always been skeptical about christianity. about religion in general really. so you talk to god and he hears you and he gets back to you with a signal or sign, a blessing or a lesson etc. very seldom people go through these experiences where they have truly heard the voice of God or seen some silohuette or something. its all about faith. and that wasn't the issue. "walk by faith not by sight" right? okay. it was the discrimination. the way people take it upon themselves to condemn others. the amount of sins people commit by simply having a judgemental conversation in a holy building is beyond me. the way the pastors feed off of the congregation. churches should be tax exempt meaning they are getting plenty to sustain their building from the government. why is the congregation dropping money in collection plates?

tides and offerings. paying dues. what about buying food for someone who was hungry? or simply giving some money to someone in need? why is it you go through your week being christ like giving tides and offerings selfishly whole heartedly, just to come to church and twice maybe three times a collection plate goes around while the pastor giving some motivational speech about how he know you got it; knowing you probably don't so to speak.

the most repetitive thing in the bible is not to judge and christians have got to be some of the most judgemental people i have ever known. when it comes to religion so many believers want to passively play god. they want to decide who is worth saving and who is condemned, who is living right, and what they need to be doing with their life. and that is not their job nor their place. you love thy neighbor. it never said unless xyz. no. simply love thy neighbor. it means be kind. love can be passive. it's treating humans like humans and not animals. common decency; which like common sense is less than common.

each religion has like its commandments you know those clear set of rules. i personally never thought these were things that needed to be clarified on the do not do list, however society. when you really break it down though, it is simple. be a good person. don't steal, don't kill. don't commit adultry (being loyal and faithful). etc. there are hundreds of stories in the bible. each open for each individual's interpretation.

if the title of the Creator is God then God is a woman. male and female exist yes i just think there is a little bit left off to the story. if there's a battle of the sexes women are the superior. first, there's father time and mother nature. time is a construct, it does not actually exist. ashes to ashes dust to dust. we all come from the earth.

see how the white man created a male god and sent his male son to save us all. "this is a man's world" (the Devil is a white man. and God is a black woman.) that is true, why? because Earth is the Devil's playground. what is so crazy is that the devil is this symbol of desire and guilty pleasures, rebellion and such and here we have the power to choose. life is about experiences. thinking for yourself doesn't make you a menace, how else do you learn? self knowledge is the best knowledge.

the Nation of Islam, is the prominent black religion. Catholicism and Scientology are the most prominent white religions. Catholicism enables sodomy and pedophilia. Scientology is a tax exempt cult, pretty much controlling the media and lowkey the United States. the Nation partnered with them and have been getting some heat from it, however i think they are trying to take it down. as time has progressed, everyone has gotten smarter. talk about a trojan horse.

Scientology and Catholicism kind of rule the country. all the many branch religions from catholicism just get ranked under that, however those two mainly. Scientology is a full blown brainwashing cult. they are the abusive partner in a domestic violence situation. most religion is. it's like religion or life. religion or family. religion or you know? more division. Scientology is more extreme in the sense that they really have policies and such enforced behind the rules and expectations. However, the same dynamic is kind of true for other religions. people get shunned and become estranged from their families frequently due to religious disagreements. it is truly disheartening because if someone is supposedly lost and you are their loved one, or simply a member of the following, why wouldnt you keep supporting them in the sense of like love companionship an ear to listen. instead, they force people to choose between trusting themselves and trusting their religion.

if your religion makes you question yourself take a look at it. you may be fucking up, you may not. however, blind trust will lead you off a cliff. almost all if not all religions talk about Jesus in one way or the other. there is truth in everything see? the Bible says its blasphemy to read another holy text. i want to find a Bible in the original script before people came with their intentions and made it what they wanted.

let's talk homosexuality for a moment. now i dont know how other religions work, however in christianity, christians love to condemn a homosexual. first thing, WHAT DOES WHO SOMEONE ELSE LOVES HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH ANY OUTSIDER? nothing. nothing at all. it has never been anyone's place to tell someone who they can and cannot love. there are scriptures, however they talk about pedetry and sodomy, rape, and male prostitution. crazy thing, it speaks a lot about males not committing homosexual acts but im pretty sure only comes up once about women and the topic was still men.

here's what i think: like i said god is a woman. so if the stories still hold true, humans were created right? so male and man have prefixes. these are word parts that come before. adding these prefixes creates woman and female. in that, i feel as though women were here first. (probably considering all babies start as females and then whilst developing testes drop or don't.) men cannot carry children, they don't have the nutrients in their bodies, they too have nipples however they don't produce milk. men were created as a tool. like a whole ass donor or carrier. men do not like to be "second in command". they feel like in order to be a man and wear the pants, they must do all the providing while a woman does the nurturing. whereas women are multifaceted and great at multitasking. men are constantly thinking like squirrels trying to get nuts. that's all they are here for lol. women could rule the world.

toats just a random theory: what if eve eating the apple and gaining knowledge was the knowledge of true love. like what if shorty realized she aint love dude they were just made for each other lmao. like men are here for reproduction. and to help when a woman's hand are full. i mean like they are in the garden and shit all happy and shit then shorty eat the apple give it to dude and they like oh no we naked. so they go find bushes and leaves and make some lil clothes or coverings. its the knowledge of good and evil so what if their union was evil lol in the sense of bad. like they get caste out stay together have two sons and one kill the other on some hateful envious shit. men provoke violence and evil. they are so prideful. so its like men love women, because they were made to help repopulate and to some extent protect. that's why men think with their dick heads. maybe that's why homosexuality is a "sin" or they try and press the issue; because of rape and sodomy. also, in effort to keep women unhappy since men were too. like it says man and man shouldn't be together, blatantly. not woman. man. because it was unconsensual, and they are here for reproduction so they kinda wasting product getting off elsewhere if you know get what i am saying. lol its a loose theory just popped in my head. however, it kind of makes sense. this lifetime we learning and experiencing things. at the beginning of the lifetime there was woman and then male was created with the tools needed to procreate. as life progressed, there are now ways for same sex female couples to have children. currently only girls can be born due to the lack of "Y" chromosome, however in due time. it is still presently possible for a child have two birth mothers in the present. that is what life is for, the condension of One Sound Consciousness (basically the big bang except not how they described it.). the condension of the Consciousness means when the Creator decided on this lifetime and created every single thing in it us included in order to experience each and every part of their creation. the Creator knows all, can create all, however has not experienced all; that is what lifetimes are for. the experience. the knowledge gained.

always trust the vibes. energy never lies. your body is a radar. you must protect your peace. meditation is like prayer, except broader. in my opinion you let go of so much weight and you gain so much clarity. do not stop believing. always believe in something. mainly yourself. if nothing else. the things that you eat matter too.  there are religions against eating pork, all slaves had was pig parts and pig's food. personally, i think it strengthened our bodies against more diseases and such like made us immune.

religion is simply something to believe in. spirituality is actuality. energy is undeniable. you can feel vibrations. and if you can't open your third eye because you are sleep and we need to be woke. we are superhuman. we have superpowers. for centuries, we have been under a curse of mental slavery. (sound familiar? this is why our ancestors laid down and took it. this is why my melanated friends still laying down and taking it.

having faith supposed to make you stop being afraid to die. so do yall not actually believe in something? because i get (ish) in general not wanting to die if you can help it. however, what part of the life you living is worth living truly? if you sat down and looked at the cards you were dealt, could you honestly say "nah im good, it could be worse ima ride it out." or some shit? would you truly rather live this life than fight for the life you want, the life you deserve and maybe die in the process? so what if they gone kill you anyway?

you know they out to kill us anyway. this is the land of the free and the home of the brave. you gotta be brave to be free. we caged or running the streets. "Ye though I walk throw the valley of the shadow of death i shall fear no evil-" trust yourself and give it to the universe.

We will prevail. We will prevail. We will prevail.

your God already knows your heart, learn yourself and fight like hell for peace, equality, and harmony.

-Almasi

[therappundit]

*Top 5 Rap Verses Of 2017*

I’m still in 2017 (w)rap-up mode, because so much damn good music dropped in 2017 and there is still plenty to dissect!  But how does anyone manage to parse through a years worth of lyrics to pick the cream of the crop? The answer is simple: it’s not possible. The definition of “best” will change with time, enivornment, and even how the listener is feeling moment to moment.

But with any art form, it should be expected that personal feelings are a deciding factor.  So for my list of the best rap verses of 2017, I considered the strength of the lyricism, the message, originality, the rapper’s ability to edit him/herself to achieve max tightness across the whole verse, the execution of the overall theme, persuasiveness of the artist, the quality of the full song, and of course, how I personally connected with the words of each artist.

These are just some of the verses that stayed with me the longest, but please feel free to share any others that blew you away. And if you missed any of these when they first dropped, please press rewind and enjoy my picks for the Top 5 Rap Verses of 2017...

5. “Gunsense” verse 1 - Roc Marciano, Rosebudd’s Revenge

Roc Marciano gets away with “rappity rap” verses (staying with one rhyme pattern over the course of the whole verse, almost like a freestyle technique) because he’s a truly gifted writer. Every bar matters, and every word feels deliberately selected, he knows exactly how to execute. For that reason, Roc Marci’s verses tend to shine on paper. Rosebudd’s Revenge is jam-packed with quotables, but this tough verse on “Gunsense” includes some lines that really pack some impact, with a high potential for longevity (lets just hope Roc continues to get the credit for those rhymes)....

“Since a snot nose We chopped Os Popped Roscoes Left one lock like Shakka Amose Diamond collar bone Swerve pot holes Cop clothes like niggas murdered in Chicago Miami Beach Polyamory Free financially You should see the body on my spanish bitch Motherfucker this is art You can't just pick this apart This not a hobby, this is therapy Nigga we run this You a fucking fungus I'm just having fun with this I live in comfort We don't pump fake The pump ain't fake, I came to dump it Still run with the same niggas I came up with Bust guns with rubber grips Bitch, whatever it is Just get it off your chest like a breast reduction Yeah I'm back on my back of tricks I fucked hip hop, I had to dead the bedwench I've been better ever since You still woulda thought you had better sense Niggas ain't got no self respect You can fuck with that but that ain't this though That wax shit disco, I dismiss hoes Bout to cop the Rolls with no tints, fish bowl French toast then go hit up Sak's Fifth for trench coats Sink your boat Your body wash up somewhere in Glen Cove I was always told to push the envelope It had blow in it though Look what the wind blew in, in Kenneth Coles Quick, pull a lick like a pick n' roll The give and go, some nights alone, run the iso I'm not a racist, dipped Jesus face in white gold I know I know That's not the Messiah's nose, he had wide nostrils”

4. “C. Delores” verse 1 - Royce Da 5′9″, The Bar Exam 4

As long as Royce is rhymin’, he’s going to make his presence felt on this list. By now, the Detroit legend’s proficiency with the pen is so well documented that he’s only chasing “all-time” status. As with previous years, Nickel Nine contributed a plethora of great work to sift through, but this verse on “C. Delores” is a great example of Royce’s ability to drop bars and share personal perspective.

��We started off as targets We had the Congress mad at the whole genre Tryna get rid of us Now it's like we not even trying to be good It's like we just sitting ducks in the eyes of evil I open windows with hopes that the wind blows you ten mo' blessings Set my Timbo's next to my dresser with the Nintendo, and yes The extendo's on the AK 47 and it's wrapped in the dresses of En-Vogue It's time, it's time to move something I guess we missed our window to try to prove something Spot a whack producer from across the room Walk up to him, smack his hookah across the moon Break a platinum plaque over a rapper back Go and toss that bitch into a dark lagoon Go into the heart of the art form with a harpoon They ain't skilled enough to stand the field with us You gon' have to retire me It's only like four or five of you rappers who can actually inspire me I be out here telling the truth I should sign my autograph with a polygraph I move in silence Tryna get to you 'fore you could brace yourself Cause I'm tryna put yo' ass in a body cast Y'all niggas lollygag, not me This evening I'm with the biggest spenders having the most prestigious dinner You eating Church's Chicken with suspicious fictitious sinners I'm a living legend, you a fidget spinner I'm getting cheddar, they tryna catch up to my past M's And I'm getting better quicker, tryna catch up and pass Em' I be blacking out, you could ask them Everything I spit be sick, gag phlegm Everything I wear be tailor-made to fit, Giraffe trim Huh, it seem like everybody out here right now wanna be 'Pac While I'm zoning, stirring the pot I'm 'bout to go so motherfucking Lamont Coleman This 'bout to be disturbing to watch While I'm out here swerving the drop Your favorite rapper 'bout to get cleaned up, served in a box Like laundry detergent, pushing 'round these birds with a mop Tryna stay in a genius, creative state of mind Tryna stay sharper than straight sharks in a 'gator pond Grate her down, all for the greater good and the greater grind While they denying now, all these heathens be crying 'bout Taking care of two, three dudes but these people be lying We keeping it G, we keeping the iron out They feed negativity, we eating vagina while Keeping it Zion, we turning the streets of Detroit to a D zoo Eating while we feed people to lions The dude that I brought with me psycho and schizo He think that he Luke, he like to lift you and make you skywalk You don't wanna play with none of his make-believe truth They'll make the iron speak too He'll do the R2D2 to your heart Until it's parts of a easel Threw a piece of your heart in a jar for the people To dissect at Juilliard I'm the best at who we are, that's fucking food for thought Nobody else been thinking like me thus far though Subpar cerebrals”

3. “Smile” verse 3 - JAY-Z, 4:44

Most of us didn’t think Shawn Carter had enough left in the tank to scrap with the best in the game today. But on 4:44, Hov continued to pad his legacy with great songs and memorable lyrics. With “Smile”, after already dropping personal gems on the first half of the song (most famously a reference to his mother coming out of the closet), Jigga closes things out with arguably his strongest verse in yeeeeeeaaaars....

“I mastered my aesthetics I know you often heard me wax poetic 'bout bein' back in the Lexus But trust me, that was nothin' a nigga up in The hundreds of millions, I have no ceilings, ah, this that feelin' I'm that boy Anita Baker's "You Bring Me Joy" slappin' out of the toy The separation is clear in my rear-view mirror Objects is further than they appear Oh yeah, I was born with a pair, playin' for high stakes Norman's Cay, he looked up and out of the Lear How niggas can't relate? Fuck a slice of the apple pie, want my own cake In charge of my own fate, respect Jimmy Iovine But he gotta respect the Elohim as a whole new regime And niggas playin' for power, huh So our music is ours, niggas own their own houses Ours was, "Fuck you, pay me" now it's, "Fuck payin' me, I pay you Put the rest away for Blue" That blood money I giggle at it, can't even support my miss' habit Jewelry shoppin' in Pa- all ya jewelers should be embarrassed Huh, blood diamonds drippin' with guilt, I still ain't trippin' That's life, winners and losers Drug dealers and abusers, America likes me ruthless My therapist said I relapsed I said, "Pre-haps I Freudian slipped in European whips" God sent me to break the chain, I'm the true and livin' God in the flesh, the rest of these niggas is vain A stain on the white suit, inferior IQ Niggas'll rip your shit off TIDAL just to spite you Ahhhh, what did I do? 'Cept try to free you Niggas'll love you but hate you 'cause they can't be you Dump 'em all in the bayou, uh Everybody wave bye to the guy you thought you could lie to This was meant to be a haiku, huh But my story's too wide to fit inside the line or two Oh, these that drugs, heron flow, I spaz on the stove This is Hov, no flex zone, nigga, who lied to you? Look, you a pedestrian, don't ever question the security I provided you Oh y'all thought I was washed? I'm at the cleaners Launderin' dirty money like the Teamsters, huh Shout out to Hoffa back home, he in the church When I heard you got booked, that shit hurt Fear for you, bro, we know the system don't work Take a young nigga freedom over some dirt Yet it's legal in Colorado, yeah, we deny Black entrepreneurs, free enterprise That's why it's a black market, that's why it's called the trap That's why it's called the projects 'cause it's exactly that All these people was gon' kill me, heh 'Cause the more I reveal me, the more they 'fraid of the real me Welcome back Carter, smile”

2. “JUNKY” - Kevin Abstract of Brockhampton, Saturation II

Brockhampton shouldn’t work. A collection of young talent thrown together to crank out multiple volumes of material in a short period of time? How can artists develop actual musical chemistry under those conditions? Well I don’t know, but they did. “JUNKY” was one of the standouts off of Saturation II, and Kevin Abstract’s opening verse was a major reason why. I don’t know if I have ever heard such an aggressively open verse from a budding homosexual rap star. Abstract’s words are sharp, freshly delivered, unforgettable and hopefully a turning point for a genre of music that, historically, has lagged behind on too many LGBT matters.  

“I spit my heart out, lookin' out for my best interests He gave me good head, peepin' out while the windows tinted I speak in tongues and I arrive without a damn mention It's kinda sick and I was born in 1996 and 1999 the only year that I remember I slip through the cracks without havin' a damn temper I bleach my hair because these bitches all about they bitchin' I say shit when I rap and y'all niggas barely listen I do the most for the culture, nigga, by just existing Delete my tweets 'cause I'm ashamed of being a fuckin' Simpson I told my mom I was gay, why the fuck she ain't listen? I signed a pub deal and her opinion fuckin' disappearin' I'm payin' bills for my sister and tryna fund her business Is it homophobic to only hook up with straight niggas? You know like closet niggas, masc-type Why don't you take that mask off? That's the thought I had last night "Why you always rap about bein' gay?" 'Cause not enough niggas rap and be gay Where I come from, niggas get called "faggot" and killed So I'ma get head from a nigga right here And they can come and cut my hand off and, and my legs off and And I'ma still be a boss 'til my head gone, yeah”

1. “FEAR” verse 3/4 - Kendrick Lamar, DAMN.

In my mind, “FEAR” was an obvious choice. Someday DAMN. may be regarded as a classic, but for now, it should at least be considered a special album. With the first two verses on “FEAR”, Kendrick breaks down the different shapes of anxiety that went through his mind at age 7, and then at age 17. Then he writes from his point of view at age 27, as a successful rap star. What we find is a problem that could not be solved by getting older, or making more money. What we find is that anxiety is a disease that cannot be simply crushed under the weight of any amount of monumental achievements, it only keeps changing shape. Kendrick Lamar shared his own fears on this song, and with that, he has penned an inspirational rap song about struggling with anxiety. I really related to that, and I hope others did as well.

“When I was 27, I grew accustomed to more fear Accumulated 10 times over throughout the years My newfound life made all of me magnified How many accolades do I need to block denial? The shock value of my success put bolts in me All this money, is God playin' a joke on me? Is it for the moment, and will he see me as Job? Take it from me and leave me worse than I was before? At 27, my biggest fear was losin' it all Scared to spend money, had me sleepin' from hall to hall Scared to go back to Section 8 with my mama stressin' 30 shows a month and I still won't buy me no Lexus What is an advisor? Somebody that's holdin' my checks Just to fuck me over and put my finances in debt? I read a case about Rihanna's accountant and wondered How did the Bad Girl feel when she looked at them numbers? The type of shit'll make me flip out and just kill somethin' Drill somethin', get ill and fill ratchets with a lil' somethin' I practiced runnin' from fear, guess I had some good luck At 27 years old, my biggest fear was bein' judged How they look at me reflect on myself, my family, my city What they say 'bout me reveal if my reputation would miss me What they see from me would trickle down generations in time What they hear from me would make 'em highlight my simplest lines I'm talkin' fear, fear of losin' creativity I'm talkin' fear, fear of missin' out on you and me I'm talkin' fear, fear of losin' loyalty from pride 'Cause my DNA won't let me involve in the light of God I'm talkin' fear, fear that my humbleness is gone I'm talkin' fear, fear that love ain't livin' here no more I'm talkin' fear, fear that it's wickedness or weakness Fear, whatever it is, both is distinctive Fear, what happens on Earth stays on Earth And I can't take these feelings with me, so hopefully they disperse Within fourteen tracks, carried out over wax Searchin' for resolutions until somebody get back Fear, what happens on Earth stays on Earth And I can't take these feelings with me, so hopefully they disperse Within fourteen tracks, carried out over wax Wonderin' if I'm livin' through fear or livin' through rap Damn”

*Honorable Mention*: “The Prestige” - Jean Grae, “Easter Gunday 2″ - Mach-Hommy, “Bullet Klub” - Benny, “Marksmen” - Ka, “Rivi” - Benny, “DNA” - Kendrick Lamar, “100,000 Machine Gunz” - Royce Da 5′9″, “4:44″ - JAY-Z, “Family Feud” - JAY-Z, “Black & Ugly” - Rapsody, “Free” - CyHi The Prynce, “Rick Boxes” - Conway

[justasmallbloginabigklainefandom]

From Grey, chapter 6

Temperance_V: So this is a special blog post featuring a guest blogger, which I've never done before but it seemed like a pretty fun idea since *basically* we talk more than enough to do this without going out of our way anyway. So, this week the blog is in the form of this chat log between me and Paleanghostly, who's mostly active over in the 'ghostlanx' fandom.

Paleandghostly: You have to put the scare quotes around it to remind people that I basically devote my days to looking at pictures of superheroes like a fourteen year old, of course. TV: I think most of your gang spend more time staring at their butts than most fourteen year olds do, P&G. P&G: You might be surprised. I remember being fourteen. TV: Anyway, we met a while ago now when P&G commented on my blog to insult my taste in whiskey and was somehow sort of charming about how stupid I am, and we ended up chatting. Now we play chess over the mail. P&G: Actually over the mail, on actual paper. It's a thing. TV: I genuinely look forward to the letter sneering at my last move once a week. So we're here to discuss something we've already been talking about anyway but it's been a *particularly* interesting chat, so we thought we'd share some thoughts with the wider internet. So this discussion got kicked off by the fandom reaction to this photograph of the Ghost and Phalanx from I think three weeks ago now? P&G: They'll remember the fandom reaction. It's the kind of wank that's so much bigger than the incident that caused it ever could be. TV: I'm not actually in the 'ghostlanx' fandom, btw, I should put that disclaimer out for anyone who's reading this *from* that fandom. If I seem like a n00b, forgive me. P&G: Please god stop putting it in scare quotes. Temperance usually blogs about anything interesting in the media and reactions to the media, for those who have followed *me* from phandom, and it was during one of her posts on Mad Men that I found it necessary to educate her in what we drink and what we use to clean toilets with. And it's *whisky*, please tell me you are actually drinking the stuff that is worth drinking and is not overpriced rebottled mouthwash by now. TV: Moving on. The photograph is a candid caught behind a police van, and shows the Ghost and Phalanx in conversation with a police officer - in suit and tie, so I'm guessing a detective but he looks a little young for it. No-one appears to be trying to arrest anyone. You'd think that would be have been the main point of discussion, P&G? P&G: *snort* Have you *met* fandom? Get to the interesting substance of the issue? No! We want exactly what we want and we want it exactly when we want it, anything deviating from this is a cause of deep personal offence to me and the *entire internet must stop and feel my pain!!* TV: So, it wasn't the crime scene they *weren't* arrested at that most people were talking about (though presumably, the 'enemy' you actually face on the streets you have more in common with than you do your own boss in their high rise office; if I was police I think I'd think we had bigger problems than superheroes too). P&G brought the discussion to my attention via the medium of much swearing, because she has a lot of feelings about these things. P&G: Oh please do make me sound like one of them. The reason I drew Temperance's attention to the response was - well, threefold. One is that in terms of gender politics and misogyny and homophobia amongst those who claim to not be bigots it was *fascinating*. Slash depressing. Two is that it was an eyebrow-straining example of the fandom entitlement complex. Three is that it gives us a very interesting insight into their identity and how very un-black-and-white that is - because people are more complicated than their labels, always. TV: Let's deal with gender first, though these issues do run through each other. This all came about because of the Ghost's posture in the photograph. He's standing quite close to Phalanx, who's facing and speaking to the police officer - I'm sorry, is that police officer really tall or is he actually that short? It's kind of adorable. P&G: He's like the Swiss army knife of superheroes. Flexible crime fighter, folds into your pocket afterwards. TV: Phalanx is speaking, standing with his feet apart, hands apart, gesturing - something, to what he's saying. Possibly just emphasizing a word. No-one even mentioned how Phalanx was standing? P&G: No. Because the Ghost was innocently standing next to him. TV: The Ghost is standing with his left arm crossed over his chest - his cloak makes it a little hard to see, but he's probably supporting the opposite elbow with his hand, because his right hand is held up loosely at shoulder height, as if propped off a desk. And he's got his hip cocked, and his head tilted the other way, it's a great photograph actually, his posture's like a da Vinci composition. P&G: I knew I liked you for a reason. It is a great picture. It's just enormously aesthetically pleasing, Phalanx standing sort of open and easy, the Ghost a longer but narrower zig-zag of angles, eyes on him. Both the Ghost and the cop are looking at Phalanx; the Ghost's expression, as much as you can make it out under the hood and mask, looks attentive and relaxed. Like you would look at your lover, mid-sentence. What fandom chose to cry and cause wank over is, Jesus fucking Christ, the way he's standing. TV: It's not the most masculine posture in the world. P&G: Why the *fucking* hell should it be? TV: Let's go through this in bite-size chunks so it's not just a string of expletives again. Why, as succinctly as possible, did fandom start a flamewar over the Ghost standing like that? P&G: Because they, the idiot ignorant children, fetishize homosexuality in the most contorted and disturbing way possible. Because they're fine with him being gay - happy that he's gay, since they can use his name and form for all their little m/m fantasies on a whole different level of appropriation now. But how dare he, human being in his own life, how *dare* he not conform to strict gender stereotypes at the same time. He's perfectly well allowed to be gay, as long as he does it the 'right way'. God forbid he be any kind of queer that disturbs them, though. TV: There was a lot of negativity. P&G: They don't want to see a male hero stand in a 'feminine' pose. It demeans him. It makes him less heroic. TV: Because to be female is to be less, and to be a male imitating a female is possibly the worst thing it's possible to be. Some of the responses were genuinely unsettling, I read some of your replies to them. P&G: I might have been angry, but I do not disown a single word of what I said. Disgusting self-absorbed ignorant little shits deserved it. TV: But not everyone was so negative about it. P&G: No. Some of fandom is actually populated by feminists and not by people who think that they know what that word means but have never actually thought it through. And then some of fandom is populated by people who further fetishize his femininity in again the most contorted way possible. We kind of had perfect storm conditions for the wank after that. TV: You posted a short piece of meta about it at the time. P&G: I posted a rant, please don't dignify anything that happened during that shitstorm with a respectful title. I hammered out at my keyboard my undying rage that these people were treating him like a doll to dress up how they pleased, and then throwing tantrums when he failed to live up to what they'd dressed him up as in their heads, or subsuming him under the further homophobic, misogynist, *the opposite of accurate* image of him as a swooning 'heroine' in need of big strong Phalanx to 'rescue' him. TV: Little strong Phalanx. P&G: I sense some favoritism developing. TV: He's really cute now I've *looked* at him. Look, I'm not in this fandom, this is not my war to step into. But it *is* interesting. Because, obviously, there's a lot of misogyny involved in campophobia - even in the queer community, the feminine man is despised. P&G: Yes. A loud part of the queer community, weirdly, strives for heteronormativity. We focus on gay men and women as being 'normal', the way straight men and women are 'normal'. Possibly just because it makes us less threatening to straight people, or helps us deal with internalized homophobia, I don't know. But that 'normality' is a lie whether the person in question is gay or straight, these categories are weird, and troublesome, and some of them are actively steeped in hatred and lies. The only thing to do is let it go. 'Normal' has only ever been an illusion. It is all so much more complicated than that you would not *believe*. Let gender be whatever it will be, and stop trying to shame people into going about it the way you're comfortable with. People are who they are and they love who they love. No-one should ever have to sit in a labelled box that someone else nailed the lid down on. TV: Fandom's largely female and yet we still perpetuate the weird misogyny wrapped up in all of this. P&G: Fuck the patriarchy that lives in our own heads most of all. TV: And the weirdest part of it is, everyone knows who he is - he's a hero. There is so much photographic evidence of his extremebamfery that it was a struggle to narrow down which gifs to illustrate the point with. P&G: He haunted New York on his own for five years before Phalanx showed up. Criminals are terrified of him, there's enough documented evidence of that. He can take down a dozen guys all bigger than him and then stroll away when the cops arrive, the last man standing and still unarrested. He kicks so much ass and we've always admired that. He also just copes with what must be a frequently distressing and draining occupation - most of what he deals with on any individual night could be completely traumatic to many people. I admire his strength and bravery utterly. And somehow people cannot square that strength, bravery, and bamfery with the image of him standing with his hip cocked *like a girl*. TV: Because, really, the two just aren't connected. They literally have nothing to do with each other. It's not that either should make the other difficult, there is no logical inconsistency in his not being traditionally masculine and his simultaneously kicking lots of ass. P&G: No. It was never his testosterone-fuelled uber-manliness that kicked ass. It was him. Exactly as he is. He's the same person kicking ass as he is standing next to Phalanx, in what is to him an unconsciously comfortable position - it's only since Phalanx came along that he's started relaxing like that, btw, *that* is clearly what's comfortable to him, not that wary cloak-covered hunch he always wore before. And it says so much more about fandom, about *people*, than it does about *him* that people somehow cannot make the image of the butt-kicking man who stands 'like a woman' sit right. TV: Because - what, heroism is manly? Girls don't kick ass *like that*? Because like you said, there are those who emphasize and fetishize his femininity, and in so doing they often fail to capture the bamfy aspect of him. P&G: What this links in to is the fandom entitlement complex. TV: Go ahead, I can feel your need to preach. P&G: I have a rant brewing, if that's what you mean. The fandom entitlement complex links into fandom sexism in a really strange and powerful way. Because fandom feels like it *owns* its figures of fetishization; they are what they are because we made them that. There is an enormous sense of ownership, like they're just the scaffolding, *we* construct who they are. And of course, they can't live up to that. They're real people, not our dolls. And when they fail to live up to our particular construction we either ignore the facts and go on as before or else we get *really fucking angry*. How *dare* they be actual human beings. They're supposed to be *my doll*, not any real person. Especially not any complicated real person! They should be as simple as possible because I can't conceptualize more than three personality traits in my head at any one time, I am *actually* that dumb! TV: Ahem. Plus we live in a patriarchal society and we construct our dolls along the strict and misogynist gender lines given to us, which oversimplifies them in very dangerous ways. P&G: That's what worries me about many of the people who make the Ghost out to be 'girly' - they're often people who obviously really *identify* with the Ghost, and they still make him out to be weak. So what does that say about the psychology of some women in this world, that society taught us to hate ourselves so *effectively* that we even want our *heroes* to just be rescued, that when we use him as a stand-in for ourselves in *fiction* we still *make him weak*? Because the fic and meta where the Ghost is effeminate *and* is the still the strong, life-saving hero - well, I've rarely found it under the sheer mass of 'basically all the Ghost really wants is for Phalanx to *save* him' fic. TV: I mean, ouch, but yeah. It explains the bizarre popularity of misogynist romance fiction written for women by women, after all. P&G: Mm. So we construct our dolls as manly male heroes, and then throw a shitfit when the queer man actually turns out to be *too* queer. Or we construct them as weak and flimsy *caricatured* women with dicks, who angst and cry and need a more masculine partner to 'rescue' them. The entitlement complex is so strong that we either write over them with our own images - rewrite the Ghost entirely, forget that he kicks ass, forget his *strength*, because a 'girly' man could never be strong because *girls aren't strong* - or we rage and scream about all our butthurt that the hero turned out to not be a cardboard cut out MAN. The part where he's a hero - do I actually need to remind people that he stopped New York being blown up? (with Phalanx; they are partners, after all) - who is both 'feminine' and 'masculine', because we all are, because those labels fix to characteristics and not to people, *that* part gets forgotten. We want them to be what *we want them to be*. We forget that they're not obliged to be a damn thing for anyone except themselves. And often people in writing their definitions of other people do want to wipe queerness out. They want us to go back to that gender dichotomy. They either want him to be a 'man' (caricatured) or to be basically a 'woman' (caricatured) in male form, but they can't *stand* that he's actually just a human being, and human beings are difficult. TV: No middle ground? P&G: Are you shitting me? This is fandom. TV: So tell us how to fix this, great wise Ghostly. P&G: I appreciate your sarcasm so, so dearly. There is middle ground, I was being facetious. There was a small, feminist, pro-queer faction fighting this corner as loudly and rationally as they could. And Blackbindings - one of the fanficcers in the ghostlanx fandom - wrote a piece after that photograph was published called Graduation, which tried to actually ignore the wank and deal with what the photograph *did* teach us about the relationship between the Ghost and Phalanx. Because all that wank is nothing like the most interesting part of that photograph. In this fandom, *everyone* should have responded to that photograph how Blackbindings did, but unfortunately she's the only one with the brains to see what's actually important. TV: I haven't read the fic. P&G: It's a meditation - all of her fics are strolls around a subject, giving you new angles and a wider perspective to actually *see* something from, I swear she makes me realize I have my eyes *closed* half the time. It's a meditation on the balance of 'power' in their relationship. What power means, and doesn't mean, and how it doesn't have to dominate, those who have power can *share* it. We think of it like it's a limited resource but why can't everyone be powerful, if it's the right kind of power? It's about their teacher/student relationship. TV: You're going to have to explain that for those of us who aren't in the fandom. P&G: Tell me what you think it might mean from looking at that photograph. TV: I don't know. The Ghost is standing slightly behind Phalanx's shoulder, relative to that cop. It could just be that the way Phalanx is gesturing has knocked their shoulders out of alignment. It could be that Phalanx has *put* himself between them. It could be that the *Ghost* put Phalanx between them. It could be that Phalanx is taking the lead and the Ghost is happy with that. It could be that the Ghost is watching over him . . . P&G: Yes. It could be all of those things. And not one of us mentioned it because we were just too fucking busy screaming about the Ghost standing like a girl. The Ghost was there first, and it's pretty long been assumed by many that they had a teacher/apprentice role - the classic superhero/sidekick relationship. But it becomes obvious in that photograph - and when you look back, there's a lot of other pictorial evidence for it - that it's really not that simple, and maybe it never has been. TV: You know I love it when you elaborate. P&G: I'm sexy when I'm verbal. When you look back through gifs and photosets, whenever they're dealing with crime victims, the Ghost tends to be in front. His attention is all on the victim and Phalanx is looking at *him*. When they're dealing with criminals they're usually side by side and their attention is focused on the threat. But whenever they're dealing with anybody else - cops, reporters, fans, bystanders - usually Phalanx is the one in front and talking, and usually, the Ghost isn't looking at who they're dealing with, his gaze and his posture are orientated towards *Phalanx*. The Ghost often isn't even fully visible in those situations. Look at that photograph again; Phalanx is standing very at ease and in control of the situation, very relaxed being the one talking, and the Ghost is looking at *him*. This is not a hero/sidekick relationship. They have strengths and weaknesses and they complement each other. They actually are, in every sense of the word, partners. TV: That's quite sweet actually. P&G: If you're contemplating joining the fandom I advise you not to, it's populated mostly by cretins and children. Blackbindings is special. Very special, actually. She does cryptic crosswords for *shiggles*, I don't know if you've ever looked at one but they are torture for the mind. But it affects her brain in interesting ways. She called it 'Graduation', because partly the fic is about how they educate each other, empower each other (of course education is empowering: in her fic, knowledge elevates). But the fic is also very steeped in color terms. It gives it a really physical, sensual, *there* atmosphere, almost close enough to touch, and it was only when I remembered her twisty-turny cryptic little brain that I realised that 'graduation' is only a letter away from 'gradation'. It's the sort of thing she'd notice and play on, cunning little creature that she is. The way hues run into each other. There is no dividing line. The labels are a lie. Strictly, once you realize how difficult drawing a line between colors is, there aren't any *colors*; there's just *color*, and we fumble through labelling instances of it as best we can, pretending that the labels create real categories. They, the Ghost and Phalanx, are so much more complicated than anything we can paint them. Their identities are human identities and the labels are a *lie*. It's not that the labels aren't labelling something real but that they're only labelling *parts* of people when they are *wholes*. They are complex. They live in a world of gradations. They're not superhero/sidekick except for when they are, but who is which is a very blurry thing. Isn't it for all of us? TV: I can't tell if you're a fan of ghostlanx or of Blackbindings right now. P&G: Probably both. Sometimes I just contemplate that her mind exists and give a satisfied sigh that the world *must* be a reasonable place after all . . . TV: We should probably get back to the wank we were discussing. Did you have any closing thoughts on the subject? P&G: Just that being a fan is a very peculiar thing. We never know the person that we 'love' so much, though I do think that that love is often very sincere and fierce-felt, but we only actually know the doll we made of them in our own heads - with masked heroes the problem intensifies. And what we should do is be relaxed, and accept that people are always more complicated than we think they are - this has wider implications than fandom alone - and discuss these things in a way such that we can *learn* from it. Because learning, and the openness to strange new things that learning requires, empowers. The close-mindedness that treats people as characters to be owned by us, that demands simplicity where simplicity is an act of psychological aggression, that sense that we're entitled to special access to their identities almost more than they themselves are - all those things harm both them and *us* in thinking like that. And if people could not be dicks about gender norms that would also be really cool. TV: Indeed. The sheer scale of the meltdown is something to be appreciated, I dabbled in to take a look and - whoa, basically. P&G: It's a big fandom, when we make wank we make a *masterpiece* of wank. Still, most people did stay out of it. The sensible majority who just duck their heads and reblog gifs whenever the shit starts flying. TV: And do you have this week's move ready yet? P&G: It's in the mail, and you really should have seen it coming. TV: We'll see. So next week I'll probably be discussing US remakes of other countries' movies and TV shows, unless something more interesting happens in the meantime. P&G: Oh god, don't even get me started on that bullshit. TV: And it looks like you'll probably see Paleandghostly in the comments section next week too, ahem. Thank you for your contribution this week, P&G, couldn't have done it without you. P&G: You're more than welcome. I hope it was educational, at least insofar as discouraging people from irritating me quite so much. TV: See you guys next week, signing off!

[velocityx-blog]

THE IMITATION GAME

“Sometimes it is the people no one imagines anything of who do the things no one can imagine.”

At first, I didn’t get the message of this line but when I read the whole plot of the movie. I fully understand the meaning of it and looking into list of successful persons today and their struggles, I can say that this quote is true and made sense. In the film, the only friend of Alan (Benedict Cumberbatch) whose name was Christopher (Jack Bannon) said this to him when they were young and look what Alan Turing became and achieved when he became older. Prior to his success, he also experienced hardships in his life just like any of us. Nevertheless, this didn’t stop him to be what he wanted to be. Alan then later repeated this saying more or less verbatim to Joan Clarke (Keira Knightley), the crossword-puzzle prodigy who became the only female member of his wartime code breaking team and, briefly, his fiancée. Nonetheless, this passage hit me and I hope people also know this so that they will stop judging others and start appreciating them more because we didn’t know what life brings to us.

FIRST OF ALL, allow me to say this at once for all the people especially those who are at the back. Okay, let’s start at; God didn’t create us to be a carbon copy of others. Hence, that is the reason why we have different faces, personalities, and abilities. So, we really cannot judge the capacity of a person based on what we perceive to them because every people are different and unique in their own way. For instance, I saw this boy as a happy go lucky and no direction in life but then after few years he was already in television and news paper for his successful business. Also, this girl might be a rebel this day, casually walking with fail grades and relationships, but hey that doesn’t mean that she will stay like this forever. After sometime, people will saw her in magazines as a notable actress or in a board exam as a top-notcher. You might be at the top now but then tomorrow everything changes. You must think you’re in the lowest point of your life now but then few years later you actually had the world in your hands. You see, life is very unpredictable. Just look at Alan Turing, he’s a nobody throughout his adolescent stage then look on the things that he achieved later. So we really cannot tell what the future holds on people’s current state in life.

SECOND, of course, self management is a primary key role here because everything starts form ourselves, so if you think lowly of yourself then most likely you will not try to improve or get out of your shell because you already had low expectations upon yourself. However, if you think positively then you will not degrade yourself rather you will continue to be better. Let us say that I’m not doing well in academics and I am always have a low grades, so instead of crying in the corner of my bedroom and blaming myself or cursing my subjects. As a positive thinker, I will get up on my lazy ass and take my failed grades as a motivation to study harder and develop myself to be a better student. And that’s what others are missing out. Some have enemies spreading rumors about them and they are already discouraged to go to school even though it is pure lies. Bear in mind that people will always talk and talk, but it’s still your choice if you will listen or get affected from them. Therefore, everyone must remember that our thoughts affect us more than anything. True, life is sometimes cruel, but what we need to set is our outlook that we will get through it. So it is better to be an optimist than to pessimist. After all, we have the control of our body, thus might as well learn to manage the way we think because at the end of the day, we are still the one who will pick ourselves up in terms of failure.

THIRD, speaking of failure, there are times that our life is not full of rainbows and glitters because at some point of it, we will experience to stumble and fall. Known personalities had a fair share of these stories, Alan Turing for instance. And what’s inspiring is that some of them failed not just once, twice, or thrice. But still, this didn’t hinder them to continue chasing their dreams. Honestly, I admire these people and these things strengthen my faith to Our God that He got plans for us. Apparently, people or circumstances will serve us our distractions and blocks our way. So, just think that people are always like that, you know, throwing rocks at things that shine. And if it is not people and it’s a situation, then just take it as the time is not right or meant to be for us. Lord has bigger plans for us, so we must trust Him. I for example didn’t pass to the school that I like. Am I sad? Of course, but then that doesn’t stop me for achieving my dreams. I remember, I prayed and hope for the last months for the results of my exam. I even made an oath to my siblings that I will treat a meal if I pass. However, I didn’t get in. Do I think life is unfair to me? Frankly, I want to but no, I don’t think that life is unfair to me because I believe that it is bound to happen. And I believe also that God didn’t allow me to study there because He wants me to do or meet amazing people in my next school. Everything happens for a reason, so a failure doesn’t mean that we lost, rather it is the start of something big.

THE FOURTH that I would like to point out is gender. Personally, I don’t mind if someone is black, white, asian, or muslim, so the case with sex is same with me because what matters to me is the amount of respect that each of us give to one another regardless of their age, sex, religion, or nationality. Back to the movie, it turns out that Alan Turing is gay, and after his team cracked the enigma, he was sentenced for indecency (Homosexuality) under British Law. Well, as I wrote awhile ago, I don’t mind people like Alan, but people that lived long time ago doesn’t seem to agree with me because for them being homosexual is a crime. Actually, there are still countries that see them as offenders of law. Countries like Sudan, Iran and Saudi Arabia even sentenced death to those people whose been convicted to homosexuality. Sadly, for me, I think people have a right to live equally despite of their preferred genders. I asked my grandmother about this and she said to me that it is much worse before so I am happy that nowadays not generally but many people do respect and accept LGBT. In addition, I think being homosexual is not a problem because what seems to be problematic is our own society. Also, we can’t deny the fact that there are prominent homosexuals that no one’s imagines to made it still just like Alan who help to break the Enigma that shortened the war by more than two years, saving over 14 million lives.

TO SUM UP, the movie gave a good quotation that any of us must be reminded. First, learn to value or appreciate others and don’t ever judge someone based on you saw on them ‘cause there might be a day that this person might be your boss or have a better life that you never imagine them of having it. Second, to be able to success in life is to have a clear vision of our thoughts because it affects us more than anything. For that reason, be an independent woman or man because it’s still between ourselves that help us when we face difficulty in life. Third, failure is part of living; our life is not full of rainbows, glitters, and anything nice. So, don’t look down of yourself if you ever fail because God has better plans and surprises for us. Lastly, there are no rules that say people who are straight are the ones who succeed in life, so gender is not a problem. Furthermore, it’s always the least people that people don’t expect to be something that actually turns out big. Also, what��s more shocking is that sometimes these people themselves didn’t imagine themselves to be the people that no one imagines. And I hope to be that person to in the future.

[thirdpoliceman]

Chapter 2.2 - No and Thou Shalt Not

Spoiler: The narrator is killed by a booby-trap mine planted by Divney in lieu of the cash box. He then sees Mathers, sittting in a maroon dressing gown, bandaged about the face and neck (from the jellying the narrator delivered) with a tea set and oil lamp on a small table next to him.

After steeling himself, the author gets into a negatory-heavy back and forth with Mathers wherein Mathers explains that he led a sinful life and upon reflection had decided that the best way to avoid sin was to say no to everything, especially every offer or suggestion, whether from others or from within himself, including every question the narrator had been asking. (pp. 27-31)

Saying no to everything could be taken as a comedic reflection of the self-denial incumbent in Christianity, most prevalently in its monastic expression. The author would have been exposed to western monasticism growing up in the thoroughly Catholic Ireland of the 1920s. This would have included his school days at Blackrock College, which was founded by French Spiritans, formerly the Holy Ghost Fathers, though this is a spiritual congregation (with priests and lay brothers) and not a monastic order. Nonetheless, O’Nolan, like nearly all Irish of his time, would have witnessed around him many nuns, brothers, priests, and monks who had undertaken vows of poverty or other forms of “saying no” to the offers of the world around them, for asceticism, while being viewed somewhat skeptically in Western Christianity (Peter King, Western Monasticism, 33 (Cistercian Pubs., 1999)), nonetheless is featured in at least some aspects of all Catholic religious and clerical life. He would also have carried with him his own Catholic catechesis of self-denial as virtue.

Saying no to everything is actually also a pretty good strategy for avoiding sin. This makes sense because the universe of bad or sinful things one can indulge in is much larger than the world of good things one can do that can bring one closer to God. After all, eight of the Ten Commandments, say what not to do. 

I am the Lord your God . . . You shall have no other gods before me. This has to be the only commandment that’s gotten easier to keep in modern times. There are just not as many other gods competing for your worshipping these days. Jehovah and Allah? Same God, in theory. Hindu pantheon? Couldn’t say much about it other than lots of arms; not really grabbing me. Buddha? Not a god. Shinto? That’s just folding paper animals. Thor? Marvel fans and Norwegian metal heads. Amun-Ra? Thanks for the founding myths, but no more pharaohs. Greco-Roman pantheon? Mostly planets, as it turns out. In the classical Mediterranean, this one might have been tough, what with the wide variety of sincerely-believed in gods around and the prevalent pantheism and so forth. But now? I got this one. . . . Unless you mean figurative gods, such that money, or booze, or certain videos that could become “gods” before God to me if I were greedy, or gluttonous, or lustful. Then that could get sticky. But those are their own sins (see below) and if this commandment covered those, it would render them superfluous which is against a cardinal rule of statutory construction. So this one is basically aimed at idolatry and mishy-mashy, let’s be Christian, but also Muslim or whatever too-ism. I’m on pretty solid footing here.

You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain. I slip up on this one a lot, but with some practice, following this one is very doable. It’s clear, unequivocal, and sets a pretty low bar, honestly. Thanks a lot, God. (That wasn’t sarcastic. Still, was that vain? I hope not. Otherwise, I’m off to a bad start.)

Remember the Sabbath and keep it Holy. There’s a lot more temptation here than there used to be (there’s always been some gray area, too, for “essential” professions and those with work reports due on Monday). Still, keeping this commandment is not a cakewalk. For starters, everyplace but that weird, locally-owned appliance store and Chick-Fil-A is open until at least 6 on Sunday in an effort to compete with Amazon, so shopping is tempting on Sundays. Dining out is too. For starters, I’d recommend the Avocado Egg Rolls at Kona Grill. No one has ever told me shopping or dining out are no-nos on Sunday, but you are making the employees work to serve you and its not exactly essential, except the Avocado Egg Rolls--you have to try them. Also, in today’s economy it’s a lot more likely you might have to work on Sunday even if you’re not a nurse or a quarterback. Fighting your Sunday work schedule with the religion excuse is pretty tough for most people who aren’t Amish or something as it’s usually greeted with a look that conveys, “What, you think you’re going to Heaven and I’m not, church boy?” or “Well, you’ll have plenty of time to go to church when you’re fired. Long live Ayn Rand and Mammon!” Luckily, I don’t have to work Sundays, so I’m good here.

Honor your father and your mother. Love you guys. Once you’re out of this house and financially independent, this one is a lot easier. Don’t hold a grudge. Respect their shit. I got this one . . . Wait, this gets a little more complicated for Catholics, with all the extending of it to siblings and society and raising your own kids right and what not. Still though, I think I can get this one. Just have to be diligent.

Thou Shalt Not Kill. You’d think this is easy! But, not so fast. This also includes not injuring yourself by abuse of food, alcohol, drugs, and the like. Now, as a married parent of a newborn who spends all day at home, this one is a lot easier than it used to be, but its one you really have to watch out for in this era of low alcohol and drug prices, oversized entrees, and the cocktail renaissance (“I’m not an alcoholic, I’m a tastemaker and a chemist!”).

You shall not commit adultery. Oh boy. I knew we were going to get to this one. Well, you knew it was going to come up eventually, so to speak. This one is tough. No doubt about it. It includes basically everything you’ve ever thought about doing that you don’t talk about in front of your mom that’s not included in Cmdt. 5. Essentially, if it is not sex inside marriage with no impediment to pregnancy, you’ve run afoul of this one. Also, it gets a little touchy on the homosexuality front in today’s political and civil rights climate. But remember, while you have to try, you get infinity second chances through confession . . . if you’re contrite. I know what you might be thinking, “But I’m not sure how contrite I’ll be tomorrow. And there’s so much temptation! Women’s Health today is basically Playboy from thirty years ago! And the tanning, forget about it. And the bras. And the shorts. And the INTERNET!!!! People sixty years ago or more had it much easier. They had to seek out temptation and they still failed all the time on Commandment 6. And you expect me to comply in the age of 4GLTE and incognito browser windows?” To that I say, draw some solace in the Didache, the oldest of Christian instruction manuals, dating to the first century:  “For if indeed thou art able to bear the whole yoke of the Lord thou shalt be perfect; but if thou art not able, do what thou canst.” Probably the most helpful advice ever given. I wish it was advertised a little more. So, good luck with this. I’d recommend getting married ASAP. Moving on.

Thou shall not steal. OK, we’re breathing a little easier now after the double-whammy of 5 & 6. Keep in mind though, that this includes a lot of economic stuff, like not paying an unlivable wage, price manipulation to get advantage on the harm of others, corruption, appropriation of the public goods for personal interests, work poorly carried out, tax avoidance, counterfeiting of checks or any means of payment, any forms of copyright infringement and piracy, and extravagance. So just remember, being a slack-ass piece of shit at work is stealing too. And, on the flip side of the coin, so is being a hard-ass, greedy owner/boss.

You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. This commandment covers a lot of ground about just not being a bad person. In addition to outright perjury, this bad boy covers rash judgments and presumptions, disclosure of another’s faults without reason (detraction), calumny, gossip, flattery, bragging, boasting, etc. But if you can avoid talking shit about others, lying, and bragging about yourself, you should be OK here for the most part. There’s also a lot of ways to venially violate this commandment (e.g., white lies), unlike with six. So even if you mess up here, just pray about it. You won’t get caught in a state of mortal sin if the Second Coming happens before confession on Saturday (whether this Saturday or the last one before Holy Week next year, whenever you might go). OK, so don’t talk shit about people. Got it. We’re almost there, and the last two are basically one!

You shall not covet your neighbor's house . . . wife . . . or anything that is your neighbor's. This one is pretty tricky because it covers internal dispositions of covetousness of the flesh. So, basically lust. I feel like this one is there just to really hammer home that you should try to keep your mind pure, not just your body. But obviously, impure sexual thoughts is one of the most difficult of the sins to keep at bay, so it seems a little onerous to have this commandment on top of “Big Six.”  Maybe there’s another reason for it, though. Maybe it’s here to serve as a tax evasion charge that the U.S. attorney hits a criminal with when they can’t prove the extortion racket. Or the constitutionally dubious sodomy charge when they can’t quite prove the rape, or the false imprisonment, or Mann Act violation. “What’s that? You say you didn’t actually have sex with her. You were just over at here house, eh? Well, guess what? NINTH COMMANDMENT, buddy! We saw you looking at her at the bar. Listen, you can plea this out to coveting now, but if you want to go to trial we’re going for lust, adultery, the whole smear. You’re lucky we came in when we did.” OK, so there’s been some good and some bad so far, but only one to go.

You shall not covet your neighbor's house . . . wife . . . or anything that is your neighbor's. (Wait, what?) This one takes much the same language of Cmdt. 9 and focuses on the coveting of material goods, not the flesh. So this one covers greed and envy, primarily. This can be hard for some to keep, I’m sure. Keeping up with the Joneses is a national pastime after all. But just don’t be greedy, be happy with what you have, and you should be OK. There, you did it! Even if you didn’t keep all the commandments, you tried. Now go to confession.

So other than remembering the Sabbath and honoring your mother and father, and going to church on Sundays, there’s not much else you have to do. In fact it’s the doing that gets you into trouble: doing drugs, doing “it,” etc. In fact, if you said no to everything but what you had to do to stay alive (like Mathers), kept the Sabbath, honored mom and dad, and went to Church on Sunday, I’d say you’d have a guaranteed ticket to Heaven. You wouldn’t even have to go to confession because you wouldn’t have done or failed to do anything you had to do or not do. So with so many more things to say no too than to say yes to, if you are looking to lead a holy life in a Catholic worldview, as Mathers is in the novel, it is wholly logical for him to conclude that the best way to redeem himself from his sinful life is to say no to everything.

This being a darkly comic novel, however, both Mathers and the author quickly discover a Jesuitical workaround to Mathers’s principle of prohibition. The narrator will just start questions with, “Do you refuse to tell me...?” Then Mathers will say no, and answer the question. Ta da! Mathers slyly admits that he’s okay with this sidestep:

So if you ever hear someone offer a priest a drink by saying, “Father, would you turn down a glass of whiskey?” you now know what’s going on.