#those posts of scribblings i do here and there are me trying to let myself do something low effort and just draw however it comes out

[meringuejellyfish]

bugs when you pick up a rock that are honestly chill as fuck

[theelvishfiddler]

AN ARTIST'S GUIDE TO HANDS

No, sorry it's actually not an artist's guide to drawing hands. Those are just warmup studies (which I'll talk about in this post.)

This is a guide to Your Hands and how to take care of them when making art.

No one ever sits down and teaches artists how to take care of their hands. They didn’t even teach me this while I was in art college. This is just what I've learned myself through years of pain and scouring the internet for advice.

This is going to be a long one and geared towards illustrative traditional/digital/pen/pencil artists specifically, but artists of other mediums and crafts should take care of their hands too! Well, we all should take care of our bodies in general, but this is about hands.

(advice is below the read more)

First off I'm not a professional or anyone with actual medical advice. I'm just some guy with chronic hand pain who makes art. This advice is free for you to use or discard.

WARMUPS!

Ever sit down in the morning to draw and wonder why your art is so stiff and looks so much worse than what you were drawing last night? It's because you didn't warm up!

You know how for physical sports they all warmup and do stretches before getting into the actual sport. To prevent injuries and all that? Yeah, it's good to do that for art too.

One way to warmup is to just draw lines. Try to keep them as straight as you can. Going up and down and diagonal. Draw squares. Big squares. Small squares. Circles! You are warming up, keep it loose and relaxed! Basically just scribble away.

(examples. I usually keep going until there is no paper white left. This can double as practice for drawing straight lines without a ruler, which is a great skill to have when freehand city drawing.)

Before hopping right into drawing people you can try doing some quick gesture drawings. Line of Action has timed sessions with a large variety of clothed or nude models. I usually do the 30 min class as it has a nice balance of short and long timed poses. The point isn't to draw nice art, but to warm up. Try to get the basic form down, not the details. I find that doing a full class session can really help my drawings feel more loose and grounded in reality for the rest of the day.

Some examples I found in my folders. I suggest looking into what a line of action (not the site) is and giving it a try with some of the studies!

COOLDOWNS!

For sports it's to return your body back to your everyday baseline after a workout.

Example; you are working on a big project! A masterpiece! It's detailed and cool! You have been focusing on this for hours and drawing so intensely. But you need to stop working for the day.

A cooldown is for winding down out of the go go go mindset. Put away the big project and do a couple small doodles and sketches. You are relaxing your hand and letting it stretch out. Keep the sketches loose. Let the art happen slowly. Don't polish anything, that can happen another day. Just ease yourself out of drawing.

...

Cool! Now we get into the meat of this thing.

HAND PAIN

How to avoid it and how to manage it if you already have it.

I love you artists and creatives, I am begging you to please take care of your most important creative tools. I really don't want this to sound like scare tactics like "oooh you better do this or blah blah!" Nope. I just had to learn all this the hard way and I'm extremely passionate about it.

Take this advice or don’t ╮(ﾟ～ﾟ;)╭ I can't tell you what to do, I'm not your dad

Adjustments and Small Solutions

If you are feeling physical discomfort while drawing there are many different solutions to try! Here are some suggestions that may or may not work for you.

Hold your pencil more loosely. Stop gripping that thang so tightly!!! Relax that hand! They make these… squishy pen grip things... I think they are called Adaptive Pencil Grips or Adaptive Writing/Drawing Aids? They stop your hand from being all cramped up by making your drawing tool wider. It's going to take a bit of time to adjust to drawing with it, but it's worth it for those who hold pencils too tightly.

Don't press as heavily. For traditional art, if you find yourself pressing really hard to get darker lines try moving to a softer pencil. Most standard pencils are HB, the B pencils have softer graphite. Experiment until you find the right one for you. For Digital, adjust your pressure settings so you don't have to press as hard to get thicker lines. You should not be pressing so hard all the time, it wears out both your hand and your tablet! It takes a bit of time to adapt to pencil or pressure changes. Try doing some unimportant sketches, they don't have to be good. You are just training your hand and mind to adjust using less pressure.

Draw with your arm and not your wrist! It's small repetitive motions that cause the most strain. You probably hear this one a lot, what does it even mean? It means moving your arm with the motions of your line, and trying not to make too many tiny movements with your just your fingers or wrist. This one is hard! It takes time and conscious thought to change the habit. Tips? Work bigger. Zoom in more. Use bigger sheets of paper.

(Motions exaggerated for a clearer example)

Change the angle of your drawing surface. They make angled tablet holders, angled desks, angled desktop raisers. Experiment, find and angle that is comfortable and the one that causes the least pain. (It's also good to make sure you don't have to hold your head at an uncomfortable angle when drawing. Staring straight down or hunching over a paper flat on the table can cause pain!)

Compression Glove? Wrist brace/tensioners? Some folks use them and I've been thinking of getting one for years now. I can't give advice on this one, because I don't have experience with it. Look into it if you want!

Managing Pain

First things first.

IF YOUR HANDS START TO HURT WHILE YOU ARE DRAWING. STOP! Put the pencil/pen/paintbrush/whatever down. The art will still be there for you to continue tomorrow.

I know from experience that it's extremely hard to pull away when you are hyper focused on an art piece. It's hard to remember all sorts of basic needs like food or bathroom when hyper focused. But you Need to stop when you feel that pain. (Preferably even before the pain…)

Take Breaks! Let your hands rest when you can. Just like a machine, if you don't schedule maintenance, the machine will schedule maintenance for you. Often that means having to wait a few days for it to return to functional. Best to take a day off from heavy usage or take an occasional 30 min break throughout the day to let your hands rest.

Stretching is important! Full body stretches are good; your arms, shoulders, neck, and spine are all connected, but I'm specifically talking about HAND and wrist stretching. There are a lot of stretches and massages for carpal tunnel and arthritis out there. I find they work for hand pain in general. Move into and out of each stretch slowly. Do not push a stretch if it hurts!! Be gentle!!

I am not a qualified professional and I will not be giving out specific stretches (that is beyond my personal comfort level). There are other artists out there who have made helpful stretching info-graphics which are cool, but I will not be because i don't want to be responsible for someone accidentally hurting themself. Ask your doctor for stretches & advice or look some up on your own.

Don't feel bad about forgetting to stretch frequently! Of course it is good to do it regularly and frequently, but I would be a hypocrite if I said that I remember to stretch daily. Setting timers for stop and stretch sessions can work for some people, but also doing stretches whenever you remember is fine! If you are sitting on the toilet you can idly do some hand stretches. On the bus? Laying in bed? At the beach? Do a couple stretches! Even just once a week is better than… nonce a week.

Using Cold or Heat to treat pain. If you really overdid it, put your hands in some cold water or wrap a cloth around an ice pack and apply it to your hand. Cold works best for me, but warmth works for others. This is just pain reduction and reducing inflammation from overuse! This is not a permanent solution.

If your hand hurts a lot! Frequently! Talk to your doctor? Idk mine has never given real advice. Just gently poked my hand and told me there isn't much to be done about it :/ but there are really good doctors out there who will care and give helpful advice!

Again. IF IT HURTS TO CONTINUE DRAWING. STOP DRAWING! This is not a "no pain no gain" type situation. Drawing so much that you hurt yourself isn't noble, it's just… limiting yourself. You only get one set of hands. These things are very handy to have.

Other Advice

Things I couldn't figure out how to fit into the earlier sections.

Your other hand can't handle the strain! Lets say you hurt your drawing hand... the other hand is right there free to use for art. Right? Wrong. Your other hand can't keep up with the demand, it hasn't been trained to the same extent as your dominant hand, it does not have the built up muscle. If you want to use that hand for drawing you are going to have to use it s l o w l y and train it bit by bit over a long period of time. When I tore a tendon in my right hand I decided to just keep drawing with my left and I got Really Good at it. It only took like two months before my left hand hurt too much to move. Then I had 0 functioning hands to pull up my pants. Not fun!!

People who draw on phones. That is extremely impressive! I'm amazed by the things people can create on such a small space. But phone artists are the ones I see most frequently mentioning hand pain. please please please make sure you are taking breaks. Would a stylus work instead of using a finger?

Outside of Drawing. Sometimes it's things outside of drawing that are causing the pain. For me there are multiple sources, but I also have tiny baby hands. Holding a phone too long causes pain. The handheld mode for my Switch causes A Lot of pain. The way my hand rests while typing on my laptop hurts! Playing tense videogames for too long hurts! Find the source of your pain and make some changes. The same things will apply to most; take regular breaks, do some stretches, and find soft things to prop up or rest your arms on.

Change your Artstyle. This one is more of a last resort. You might have to change your art style if you are getting sharp pains every time you draw. I loved drawing tight clean lines and many small fancy details, but drawing like that left me in so much pain at the end of the day. In 2023 I had to take the better part of year off from illustrations just to learn how to sketch and draw more loosely. I had to learn how to be gentle. To stop gripping my pencil so tightly. Learn! Adapt! You might discover a new style that you love even more!

A lot of this stuff gets more complicated in a work setting where you have to draw fast and long in order to get paid. Things like reducing your workload can help, but that can be... financially rough. But outside of that, it’s ok to be a slow artist. Going full steam and hurting yourself is not worth it.

Aaaaaanyway, thats all folks. Today's rant brought to you by me! The guy with chronic hand pain who always forgets to stretch! The guy who got frustrated with a sketch yesterday and decided to push to keep drawing for just one more hour! The guy who woke up this morning and had to spend 2 hours massaging and stretching their hands. The guy who probably shouldn't have typed all of this out because ooww ow ouch

If your hands do hurt, it's going to be ok! You don't need to be a speed demon who draws all the time. It's ok to take your time and take frequent breaks. You are going to do great things! Just be gentle with yourself...

[jake-whatthefisgoingon-kiszka]

𝒫𝒶𝓇𝒶𝓁𝓁ℯ𝓁 𝒫ℯ𝓇𝒸ℯ𝓅𝓉𝒾ℴ𝓃𝓈

Here we finally have my janny x reader request that has morphed into this massive… thing (and yes I did not have a name for it until yesterday 😅). I tried to make Jake as subby as possible but he ended up just turning out to be a sweet little bean. Sorry if the ending seems rushed, I was kicking myself to wrap this up so I can post and you know I’m bad at endings. Please read all the warnings because there’s a lot going on here…

Pairings: Jake Kiszka X Danny Wagner X plus size fem!reader *includes slash

Warnings: 18+ only! Not for the faint of heart! Lots of adult content including: some angst, some jealousy, drinking and smoking, body insecurity, lots and lots of smut including: oral m&f receiving, fingering m&f receiving, squirting, some protected and unprotected sex, anal rimming, cum swapping, double penetration, threesome, college AU

Word count: 12k!

“So, what are you going to do?” You asked as you laid on your back sideways on top of the neatly made bed with your long hair hanging over the edge of the tiny mattress. You’d never met a boy who liked to make their bed, especially not a college boy, but Jake had always been the meticulous type. Even his textbooks were in a tidy row across the desk he sat at now as he tried to focus on his homework and talk to you at the same time.

“I don’t know, we can always just go together. Everyone already thinks we’re dating anyways” he replied without looking up from his page, like he hadn’t given it enough thought to be concerned at all.

“Maybe that’s why you can’t get a date,” you offered with a click of your tongue. “Am I cock blocking you Jakey?”

“I assure you, that you are not” he finally let his eyes flicker over to you, giving you a pointed look that you knew after all the years being best friends meant please change the subject.

You ignored him, as did a best friend, and continued on as you stared up at his ceiling. “I don’t know why you want to go to this stupid frat party anyways, you hate jocks”.

“I don’t want to go to this party” he corrected you after scribbling something into his notebook. “Josh wants me to. And besides they’re not all jocks, some of them are pretty cool guys”.

“Right…” you trailed off for a bit. Of course it was Josh’s doing to have Jake at this party, it was his own fraternity anyways.

“That’s why you should come too. Maybe you will meet someone there” he offered.

“Meet someone?” You scorned the idea. “At a couples party at a fraternity? What’s the deal with that anyways?”

“I don’t know, it is kind of weird” he shrugged, “I already told Josh I’m not finding a date so if he wants me to come then he can figure it out”.

“I think you should try to find someone. I haven’t seen you date anyone since Meghan broke up with you last fall semester. But to be honest that’s what you get for dating a girl named Meghan”.

Jake sighed, admitting defeat and putting his pencil down so he could turn in his chair and face you. “I’m not looking for a date”.

You quirked a brow at him, seeing him upside down from where you laid. “Why are you so against it? There’s really no one you’re interested in?”

Even from this angle, you could read Jake’s face easy as he read those complicated biology textbooks. “Wait! You are interested in someone aren’t you!”

“Will you leave it alone already?” He groaned, “and get your feet off of my wall, you’re going to leave dirty foot marks all over it”.

You grabbed one of your legs that had been propped up against the Sheetrock and looked at the sole of your foot. “They’re not dirty. Come have a look and tell me who it is you’re crushing after. I can’t believe you’ve been holding out on me”.

Jake did join you on the bed, but only so he could wrestle your legs down which ultimately ended up in you with your head facing the end of the bed now and Jake on top ticking you into submission. You used to hate being tickled, didn’t like the feeling of others touching you around your midsection like that, but after so many years of being close with Jake it didn’t bother you to be a little more physically intimate with him.

That's why you’d ultimately asked him to be your first. It was the summer before you both joined college, neither of you had been with anyone before and it felt like the time was right to make that step with someone you trusted. Jake had always been there for you, and you him, and losing your virginity together had meant the world to you even though you both agreed to just stay friends.

Since then you’d slept together once more, at the first college party you went to, both getting drunk off your asses and falling into bed together in a fit of giggles. There wasn’t anyone you trusted more than Jake, and you hoped he felt the same way about you, which is why you wanted to know his secret.

“Are you going to tell me who it is or not?” You pushed at his shoulders, though not very hard because you actually didn’t really mind him being close. “Why can’t you just invite them to the party?”

“Because they’re already going to be there” Jake let slip, though he quickly tried to cover it up by tickling you again.

Just when you were sure you were about to knee him in the side if he didn’t stop, a quick light knock came at his bedroom door followed by the sound of it opening.

“Hey Jake-” Danny was abruptly cut off as he accidentally walked in on Jake scrambling to get off of you, both of you looking disheveled even though you were completely innocent.

You quickly pulled your shirt down from where it had risen up as Jake’s fingers poked and teased, hiding your stomach before Danny could get a look.

“Sorry” Danny quickly tried to turn around and leave but Jake jumped from the bed and grabbed his arm.

“No no it’s alright” Danny turned back around and you sat up as you watched Jake fix his hair back into place. “What’s up?”

“I was just going to ask if you could give me a ride to the party tomorrow night. I’ve got a study group in the afternoon and Josh will already be at the house setting up”.

“Yeah, of course” Jake easily agreed without a second’s hesitation.

You looked up at the two of them, debating on whether you should stay out of it, but ultimately decided being mean today was more fun. “You know, Jake hasn’t even gotten a date for that party yet”.

“Shut up! Yes I have!” He lied as he glanced over his shoulder at you, his face turning beat red.

“Oh, don’t worry about it” Danny replied, “I’m just taking a girl from my study group. She’s gonna meet me there. A lot of the guys are just bringing random girls as dates anyways”.

“Hmm, why make it a couples party at all then?” You questioned. Since Danny was in the fraternity too, you figured he would have more of an idea, but he just shrugged.

“Don’t know, I just show up when and where I’m supposed to be at this point”.

“So, meet here at 8 then?” Jake butt back in, not trying to hurry Danny out of his room, but also not wanting you to spill any more of his information.

“Sounds great” Danny nodded and when he left the room Jake exhaled slowly. When he shut the door again you could see the light blush that filled his cheeks, and he fidgeted with his hands as he paced across his room in a way you’d only seen him do a few times before, when he was really nervous.

You looked back at the closed door, then back at the state of your friend, and started to put two and two together. “Oh my god” you muttered, breaking him from his trance as his eyes flicked over to you. “It’s Danny isn’t it? You like Danny?”

“Shush!” He ran back over to the bed, worried that if the man in question was still in the hallway he’d hear you.

“Why didn’t you tell me!” You whispered harshly, grabbing his hands and pulling him back into the bed next to you.

“It just happened” he tried to explain, but you knew better. Jake didn’t get this way about someone overnight. “I mean I’ve always liked him obviously, but before he was just my kid brother’s friend, but here recently I don’t know…”

He trailed off, like he didn’t know how to explain the feelings that had been mixing together in his mind. “I get it” you spoke for him, “Danny’s hot. He’s always been a nice guy, and a great friend to Sam, but we’ve grown up now and he has too”.

He agreed it made sense. You had all found yourselves in college, Jake had discovered his love for marine biology and was studying to get into a program for next summer. Josh, well Josh had always been a theater kid, but in high school it was more of a clique, in college he could take it seriously.

You had bloomed in your years here, coming out of your shell as the quirky shy girl that hung around boys because you didn’t feel like you fit in with the teenage girls who cared more about hair and nails than the books or other ‘nerdy’ things you found interesting.

It wasn’t like you didn’t crave that sisterhood the girls in your year had. You liked makeup and dressing up, but even then looking at the other girl’s, thinner, with smoother hair and more expensive clothes, you never felt their equal. Being around society’s definition of pretty had made you doubt your own beauty, but having moved away from your small hometown and met so many more people, expanded your horizons a little, you were able to take a step back and realize that you were your own definition of pretty and that was truly all that mattered.

“Well,” you pulled his hand into your lap, giving it a light squeeze, “what can I do to help?”

One thing you didn’t tell Jake was that you too had a bit of a crush on Danny. You understood what Jake meant by always liking him. Since you grew up being best friends with Jake, and Danny grew up being best friends with his brother, your paths were always crossing.

From a young age you felt butterflies in your stomach when he was in the same room, lost your words when he’d talk one on one with you, even daydreamed a time or two about what it would be like to confess your feelings, but you were sure he didn’t like you that way. You had never bothered Jake with telling him about your crush either, because you felt like it would never happen. Especially now, Danny seemed out of your league. So you pushed your own heart aside for Jake, and hatched a plan to bring the two of them together.

“Hey! You’re coming too?” Danny asked when the three of you all prepared to load up into Jake’s car with the extra keg Josh had text him last minute to bring.

“Yeah, I’m his date” you made air quotation marks with your hands making Jake roll his eyes as he tried and failed to load the keg into the trunk.

“Let me help you with that” Danny came behind Jake, placing one of his hands on top of Jake’s and the other a little spaced apart so they could lift it up.

“Great team work guys!” You called from behind, giving two thumbs up and an awkward smile. Your hands fell back to your sides when they both stared blankly at you, your palms clapping against the tight black jeans covering your thighs. “Right, well I’ll take the backseat, Danny you got shotgun”.

“Oh no that’s alright! You sit up front with Jake” Danny tried to argue, but you were already popping open the door and climbing inside.

Sliding into the middle seat, you leaned over the center console. “Your hair has gotten long Danny”.

“You think?” He chuckled as you played with a ringlet that sat at shoulder length.

“Yeah, Jake was just telling me that he really likes the way you’re doing it now. That must be a tedious routine”.

Danny glanced over at Jake, who kept his eyes trained on the road for more than one reason. “I can umm, give you some pointers if you want?”

Jake’s shoulders dropped and his grip on the steering wheel tightened. Of course Danny didn’t mean to insinuate that Jake needed some pointers. He just wanted to be nice and he had learned a thing or two about hair care.

“Is Sam coming to this party?” You questioned next, trying to keep the short drive over to campus filled with conversation.

“No, he’s got a shift he couldn’t get out of. Plus he didn’t really want to come anyways”. Danny answered.

That’s good, you thought to yourself. So you wouldn’t have to deal with trying to steal Danny away from Sam, just whoever this girl he had invited as his date. Shouldn’t be too hard.

When you arrived Jake and Danny carried the keg inside. You were a little late since Danny’s study session had gone longer than he expected, but neither you or Jake minded since most of the party was already a few drinks in and having a good time. Which meant less awkward social interactions if everyone was already a little tipsy.

“M’lady” Danny offered you the first plastic cup that was filled with beer once the keg had been successfully tapped, something you were surprised you enjoyed watching since Danny was actually really good at it.

Sometimes you forgot Danny was in the same fraternity as Josh was, just because he seemed a little more down to earth and easygoing than what you pictured a frat guy being, but seeing him like this, bag pulled backwards over his dark curls and making himself right at home, was really putting it into perspective for you.

Danny started to pour another drink for Jake next, but you quickly snatched that cup from his hands too. “Nope, I’m driving back so these are my only drinks, but I see shots over there for you two”.

Danny followed your line of sight through the kitchen to the opening for the dining room where a rowdy bunch were lining up little clear plastic shot glasses and pouring them full with a variety of bottles scattered all over the table.

Once the group had taken their shots, they cleared the room and you stepped up next, placing your beers onto the table to free your hands. “Alright, pick your poison!”

You shuffled around the bottles, the light plinking sound of glass filling the room as you tried to remember any of the fancy shots you’d learned to make the summer you turned twenty-one, bar-backing at a restaurant with a few of the girls you’d met at the university. “Unless you’d rather have what Jake’s having?”

“Oh? You know what Jake likes?” Danny moved aside and let you continue your search just as your eye caught the perfect bottle.

The man in question was waiting against the wall, arms crossed over his chest and an amused smirk on his face. Despite the small hick up in the car he was enjoying watching you attempt to get Danny worked up- and if he had already had something to drink then maybe he wouldn’t feel so guilty about staring at your ass as you leaned over the edge of the table to reach the large skinny bottle all the way in the back.

“Yep, Jake likes it tall,” you lined up two of the little plastic glasses right next to each other and started to pour the clear liquid in both, all the way to the very top as you continued to speak, “smooth”, you only spilled the tiniest amount when switching over to the next one, “and sexy”.

Danny raised a brow as he took his shot from the table, careful not to make a mess though it was nearly impossible with how close to the lip the fill was. Jake pushed off the wall and moved between you and Danny, taking his own.

“Cheers” you retrieved one of your cups and held it up. The two boys mirrored your movement then both turned to each other as they knocked the alcohol back. You tilted your cup to your lips too, chugging the rest of the beer down in one go.

“Tequila?” Danny pointed to the bottle you had poured from, still tasting the burn on his tongue. “I thought you liked bourbon?”

“Don’t tell me she knows me better than you do” Jake taunted. He picked up the tequila and filled both of their glasses up again, not quite to the top this time. “Bourbon is for when you’re being a gentleman. Tequila is for when you’re up to no good”.

Danny took his second shot and wiped his mouth dry with the back of his hand. He didn’t often take two shots back to back, but it was a party and he was with friends, so he figured it wouldn’t hurt to have a little extra this time.

“Come on” you playfully grabbed Danny’s hand and started to pull him towards the sound of the rest of the party. “Let’s see how long we can keep you from your date”.

A good half an hour passed and you were nearly done with your last cup of beer before the three of you were ever interrupted. Josh stole Jake away first, and then Danny’s date finally seemed to care that he was here now that it was just the two of you standing around and chatting.

He had pointed her out nearly as soon as you arrived. She was a gorgeous girl with fair skin, dark auburn hair pulled into a tidy high ponytail, and she was wearing a tight dress that showed off her slender frame. Up until now she had been socializing with a group of guys from the fraternity, no doubt thriving on all the attention they gave her, but currently she was approaching Danny with a deceitful smile like she hadn’t just been ignoring him.

“Hey, glad you could make it” he greeted her as well as introducing you as one of his close friends.

“Nice to meet you” she turned her smile to you and you nod your head slightly with a strained “yeah, you too”.

You weren’t trying to be bitchy to her, but it was hard to not lose a little self confidence when standing next to someone who seemed so perfect in comparison, and that it pissed you off. Danny mentioned that she looked good and she played it off with a giggle, agreeing that he usually only saw her in sweats at study group, not dressed up like this. They looked like they would make a good couple, and it worried you that maybe Danny’s attention might’ve been caught elsewhere before you could help Jake make his move.

“So who was that guy standing with you earlier?” She asked Danny. So she had noticed them earlier.

“Jake?” Danny replied in question, unless she was talking about Josh for the brief moment he was there Jake had to be the one she was referring to.

“Is he part of the fraternity?” She glanced around the room, searching through the faces of party goers but coming up empty.

“No, his brother Josh is though. They’re around here somewhere”.

“Do you think you could introduce me? He’s really cute”.

Now you had every right to be possessive over Jake, even if you weren’t dating, and your anger flared up at her bold request. She was supposed to be Danny’s date and here she was asking him to introduce her to another guy?

Before you could open your mouth to say something to her that you would probably regret, Danny calmly and politely declined with a curt “he’s not available”.

It was curious to you that he’d chosen that excuse. Danny was close to Jake, he knew Jake was single, but it sounded like he didn’t want her making a move on him just as much as you didn’t.

“Oh” she sounded a little taken back by his short answer, like maybe she wasn’t accustomed to being rejected, but quickly pulled her smile back on and continued talking with Danny like it hadn’t even happened.

With your beer now gone and your nerves already shot, you leaned over to Danny. “I’m going to go find a bathroom, do you know where I can find one more private?”

“Yeah, just around the corner there” he nodded towards the opposite end of the packed living room, “take the stairs, if anyone tries to stop you just say I sent you up”.

“Thanks”. You slipped away, checking to make sure Danny was still talking to his date and not watching you make a wrong turn to go and find Jake.

When you found Jake you quickly grabbed his hand and pulled him away from his chatty other half. Though he was glad you’d come to save him, he warily asked where you were going as he followed you up the stairs. You got some funny looks from the few who did see the two of you sneaking off, but thankfully no one tried to stop you.

“I’m going to talk to Danny. Get a feel of the situation” you explained as you found an empty room you could set them up in. “Give me like fifteen minutes then head back up here, okay?”

“I don’t know…” he began, looking around the random room. It was just an additional sitting area, smaller than the living room downstairs, with a few lounge chairs and a collection of gaming consoles hooked up to the obnoxiously large flatscreen. Exactly what you’d expect in a house where a bunch of college guys lived.

“Trust me?” You asked.

Jake faced you again, and nodded his head. “Yeah, I trust you”.

“Great!” You leaned over and placed a quick kiss to his cheek. “Hopefully the next time we’re in here someone will be getting kissed on the lips”.

Jake smiled and shook his head before going off to find somewhere to entertain himself during the wait.

“Danny, can I talk to you for a sec?” you leaned against the bannister of the staircase as he walked by, two drinks in hand. One for himself, and the other you assumed was for his date.

“Sure” he easily agreed, and handed one of the drinks off to a random stranger before following you back up the stairs.

You hoped this would be the last time you’d have to climb these damn stairs as you led him to the room you’d decided on earlier. “I wanted to ask you something”. Though you were unfamiliar with the house, only having just found this room earlier, Danny was well accustomed to roaming around here and knew exactly where you were heading.

“I wanted to ask you something too” he revealed, moving to set his drink down on the ledge of a fireplace inside.

“Oh,” you stood your ground as he approached you, and for some reason your heart started to beat wildly in your chest. It was dark in the room, neither having bothered to find a light switch, but the large open windows let enough moonlight in that he was completely visible. He was cast in an ethereal blue glow just like how you’d imagined him sometimes in your daydreams. “You go first”. You pushed, trying to sort out your thoughts and focus on why you were here in the first place, for Jake.

“I’ve been picking up some… signals tonight, I wanted to make sure I wasn’t just reading into things”.

So your plan had been working, you let a smile slip. “No, no, you’re right we have been trying to get your attention”.

“If it’s my attention you want, you have it” he continued, coming to stand right in front of you.

“Well,” you nibbled on your lip, somehow nervous when before you’d been nothing but confident. “Someone likes you, and I wanted to see how you felt about it first”.

“Someone likes me?” He raised his brows with a light taunting chuckle, “and who would that be?”

Before you could answer him, clarify that it was Jake that you had brought him here for, Danny bridged the gap between you, letting one hand rest on your hip and the other cupping your face as he pulled you into a kiss.

You didn’t let your eyes close, and though every fiber in your body screamed at you to kiss him back, you were still as a statue. Danny pulled away and searched your expression for an answer to your hesitancy, and behind him you saw something that made your heart drop into your stomach. Jake had come just like you’d asked, and he’d seen Danny kiss you.

When Jake saw that you had noticed him, he quickly turned and fled, falling back into the dark before you had the chance to say something other than “Jake!”

“What’s wrong?” Danny asked, concerned that the bewildered look on your face was his fault for moving too quickly.

“I’m sorry,” you instantly apologized, though you really hadn’t done anything wrong on purpose, a reflex that still clung to you after years of feeling insignificant. “This is wrong Danny, I can’t”.

You tried to escape, run after Jake and plead for him to forgive you, but Danny caught your arm. “Wait! I don’t understand. I thought you said you liked me?” He was more confused than ever, not having seen Jake, though by your call of his name he gathered he had something to do with it. “Are you and Jake together?”

Your brows furrowed in frustration. You didn’t want to lie to Danny, but you didn’t want to betray your best friend's trust, and the truth seemed more complicated now than it ever had been before. “No, we’re not together. Not right now at least. It’s just Jake, he’s the one that likes you. I brought you up here to meet him”.

“Oh…” Danny’s hand that lingered on your arm dropped to his side as he tried to process the information you’d given him. One question still remained at the front of his mind though. “So you don’t like me then?”

“I-” your throat clenched before you could form the words you knew you needed to say. You needed to tell him no, you didn’t like him for the sake of your friendship, but instead what came out was. “I do, Danny”.

“I can’t though,” you quickly continued, trying to make up for confessing with rationalization. “Jake means the world to me, I could never do anything to hurt him. So I need to find him, please, I need to tell him this was all just some huge misunderstanding”.

“I don’t want it to be a misunderstanding though” Danny pleaded. “I like Jake” he wasn’t afraid to tell you that, and honestly if Jake had still been here right now he’d tell him too. “But I like you too. I just never said anything because I thought you were with him. I mean even if you guys say you’re not together, everyone can see the chemistry there”.

“What are you saying Danny?”

“I’m saying I like both of you” he couldn’t help the anxious huff and smile as he admit what he’d held a secret for so long. “I’ve thought about being with both of you before, I just didn’t know either of you were into me like that”.

“With both of us?” Your voice came out in a doubtful tone, though the idea was already causing butterflies in the pit of your stomach.

“Is that okay? To like both of you?” He sounded apprehensive of himself now, his shoulders slumping like he was shrinking in on himself.

“I-” you stumbled over your words again, feeling your face flush when you really allowed yourself to think about it. “Yes, that’s okay with me, but Jake…” you were afraid to agree to it now. Though you claimed to know Jake better than anyone else, except maybe his own twin, you didn’t want to speak for him on this matter. Especially not after you’d just seemingly broken his trust.

“I know” Danny wrapped his arms around your shoulders and pulled you into a tight, all encompassing hug. “Let’s go find him and clear this up”.

The two of you found Jake outside, sitting on a bench with Josh who was the only one to regard your presence when you joined them on the patio. Jake had a joint perched between his fingers, the cherry lighting up as he took a drag and exhaled slowly.

“I’m going to go back inside, it’s a little chilly out here” Josh mentioned as he stood and nodded in your direction before turning back to his brother. “If you need anything just let me know okay?”

Jake was silent, taking another inhale then letting his hand settle against the armrest so the ashes would fall to the ground instead of in his lap.

“What did he tell you?” You whispered as Josh passed by.

“Nothing. He just pulled me out here and demanded I light one up for him. He’s lucky I was saving that one for after the party”.

“He’s going to be alright” Danny assured him, and Josh left you to work it out amongst yourselves.

Danny moved to take Josh’s place next to Jake on the bench, but between the two of them there wasn’t much room left to sit. You stayed off to the side, mostly keeping your distance in case Jake really was as upset with you as you knew you deserved to be.

“Hey there Jake” Danny began softly, trying to win him over with honey before jumping into the explanation for what he’d seen upstairs. “Can we talk?”

“Bout what?” Jake nearly croaked out, his voice half shot from the smoke, but you could tell it was also because he was holding back his emotions.

Your eyes prickled for him, but you dried them quickly with your hand. He hadn’t yelled at you yet, cursed the both of you and ran you off the patio, so there was hope yet he’d hear you out. No doubt the accompaniment of the weed was helping keep him calm.

Danny took his hat off and placed it on his knee, running his fingers through the tangles at the crown of his head a few times before leaning back on the bench. “Remember that summer when we all went to the beach? We rented this huge house with like six rooms. Sam brought this girl he’d only been seeing for like two weeks and it pissed everyone off because it was just supposed to be a family trip”.

Your heart went sore as you easily remembered the trip Danny was referring to, having been so excited to be invited and considered a part of the family just like Danny was. It was a short vacation over the Labor Day weekend which meant the beach was so busy, but that didn’t stop you from having the best time of your life.

“She ended up being a really nice girl” Jake mentioned, “Sam’s an idiot for letting that one go”.

“I agree with you there” Danny chuckled, not in too much of a hurry to get to the point of bringing up this story. “You two were inseparable that weekend” he glanced over at you, trying to encourage you to come closer. You did, inching forwards until Jake’s eyes flickered over and you halted like a deer ready to run from a sniper in the woods and his piercing gaze.

It felt like so long ago, even though in the grand scheme of your relationship over the years not much time had really passed between then and now. You weren’t sure how much everyone knew about you and Jake around that time, didn’t really care about what details he did or didn’t get into with his brothers, but the night before leaving was the party you had both gotten really drunk at and slept together for the second and last time. In the morning you were so terrified Jake would put some distance between you, even debated not taking the trip with them all together so he wouldn’t have to feel awkward about what had happened, but Jake clung to you the entire time.

That weekend was probably the closest you and Jake had ever come to being a legitimate couple. Every chance you got he was at your side, holding your hand, even giving you good night kisses. And yet when you got back home, back to school and work and reality, things just went back to normal.

“I remember one night, after spending all day at the beach Sam and Josh went to bed early but we stayed up to watch a movie together. You fell asleep first and I tried to get her to bed, but she wouldn’t leave you alone. So I got your blanket from your bed and she cuddled up next to you on the couch”.

Though Jake wasn’t speaking much, his face showed that he remembered the night. He remembered waking up early in the morning with you underneath his arm on the couch, not knowing how either of you had ended up that way and with a blanket too. Now he knew he had Danny to thank for that.

“I went to bed so envious that night. I mean I have Sam, and I’ve dated my fair share, but I don’t think I’ve ever come close to having what you two have”.

Jake let his eyes finally meet yours now, and he could tell you were still on the brink of tears. His brows furrowed, he didn’t want to see you upset but he was still a little hurt, and waiting for Danny to get to the part where he would be telling him he wanted you for himself. That’s what made this so difficult, because not only was his crush being taken away but he felt like he was going to lose you too.

“So tonight,” Danny continued and Jake took one last hit off his joint in preparation, “I know there might’ve been some misunderstandings, and I just want to clear the air. I don’t know what I can offer that you don’t already have, but I’d very much like to, if there’s room for me, stay with both of you”.

“With her?” Jake asked, trying to clarify what he thought Danny meant.

“With her,” Danny repeated, but took Jake’s free hand in his own, “and you”.

Danny didn’t want to make it sound like the two of you had decided this without him, you both wanted Jake to come to a conclusion on his own, hoping on bated breath that he would agree as well.

He thought about it for a moment, honestly not having even considered this was an option when he’d seen the kiss upstairs. He automatically assumed Danny wasn’t into him that way, and there was still a part of him that doubted whether Danny was doing this truly to be with him too or if it was just a ploy to get to you. Danny had never been the deceitful type though, so he chose to believe he really did want this, and Jake wanted it too.

Even though it had been so long since there had been sexual intimacy between you two, Jake never stopped wanting you. It was hard sometimes when you came over and laid on his bed like it was your own, let your guard down and made yourself comfortable and easy for the taking. All he’d have to do would be to crawl into bed with you and he knew things would easily progress from there, but you had never expressed any real desire to be anything more than friends. So held himself back, looked for reprieve in others like Meghan, but no one ever compared. Until the crush on Danny developed.

“I think…” he trailed off for a moment as he turned his hand over in Danny’s and laced their fingers together. “I’d like that too”.

Danny let out a relieved laugh, so glad his little story time actually worked because he’d had no back up plan other than to both beg him for forgiveness. “Thank fucking god. Can I kiss you too then?” He thought it would be a good thing to ask this time, just so he didn’t put anyone in a bad spot again.

Jake glanced back over at you, and you couldn’t contain the smile that came when you nodded your head. He turned back around and Danny was already pressing their lips together. At first you felt out of place watching them share this intimate moment, their first kiss, but soon Danny was breaking away and asking you to come closer again.

Jake stood first, taking your hands and leading them to wrap your arms around his neck. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?”

You answered him with your own kiss, tasting the remnants of weed on his mouth and feeling your head spin like he was your high. Danny waited patiently for Jake to finish kissing you back before he joined from behind him.

With his added height, he was able to lean over Jake’s shoulder and reach your lips with his own, then after a few moments he used his finger underneath his chin to bring Jake’s face back and they connected again right in front of you.

Things were heating up quickly and you could feel the ache between your legs start to set in. “Boys, do we umm, want to take this party somewhere else?”

Danny, having been momentarily lost in kissing Jake, looked at you with glossed over eyes before quickly agreeing.

“I think we should find Josh and tell him we’re leaving first, so he knows we’re alright” Jake added.

“Right, I don’t need him interrupting later to check in on you” Danny brushed Jake’s hair over to the side and places a kiss on your hands before pulling away. “Not that you’ll be available to answer any phone calls”.

“Is that right?” Jake cocked an eyebrow, his hands still gripping into your hips like he never wanted to let go again.

Now that everyone was back on the same page again, your flirtatious side was coming out again so you joined in on the banter. “What do you have in store for us Danny?”

“Why don’t we hurry up and you can both find out for yourselves?”

The three of you found Josh in the dining room with a group that was lining up their next round of shots. He looked like he was still in full swing at the party, and standing right next to him was none other than Danny’s date.

“Josh, we’re leaving” Jake quickly announced to his brother, more than ready to get heading home.

“Wait! Already?” Josh complained, shot in hand and a pout on his face. He studied all of your faces, trying to determine without asking if whatever was wrong earlier had been resolved, but then he clocked Jake’s hand around your own. “Well, be safe getting home. Don’t wait up for me”.

“Wasn’t planning on it” Jake replied with a smirk and between him and Josh they both knew what that meant.

You started to follow him out the way you had come in earlier, from the back door in the kitchen, but you slowed Jake down when you noticed Danny was lingering behind.

“Will you be alright to get home?” He asked his date who looked like she had probably had one too many drinks since you left her downstairs.

“Yeah, I’ll make sure she’s safe” Josh put Danny to ease, just like Danny had for him outside.

“You’re leaving with her?” She asked Danny as she poured another shot straight into her plastic cup. “Why don’t you stay with me?”

“I’m leaving with both of them” Danny corrected, taking the cup to knock back the contents for her before tossing it into the trash can. “See you around sometime”.

He left her with the same shocked expression on her face as he had given her earlier when saying Jake was unavailable. It made sense now why he had shot her down so quickly, because Danny was willing to share you with him but no one else.

Even if you had two beers at the party, everything that had happened had sobered you up enough to drive back to the rental Jake and his brothers shared. The ride was quick, but the tension that built in the air between the three of you grew exponentially the closer you got to the destination. By the time the car was parked back in the driveway Jake was busting out of the back seat and hurrying over to the door to unlock it with his set of keys.

“You think Sam will be home soon?” You questioned when you and Danny joined him.

“If he is, then he will be in for a treat” Danny chuckled as he wrapped his hands around your waist and pressed your back to his front. With just the pair of tight jeans between the two of you, his excitement was already evident by the way his half erection pressed into your ass.

Jake got the door open and before you knew it he was pulling you from Danny’s hold and relieving you of your shirt as his lips crashed back into yours. Danny made sure the door was shut and locked back up before returning behind you and placing kisses all over your bare shoulders. His fingers found the clasp of your bra, then they pulled at your straps until the piece was slipping from your chest and joining your shirt on the floor.

Pressed between the two of them you felt your knees start to shake from arousal. You could feel both of them growing harder and you gained Jake’s attention by reaching down to cup him over his pants.

He moaned against your mouth and Danny hummed against your neck in approval. “You want to make Jake feel good first? I think we owe him that after earlier”.

You bit your lip as you started to unbutton Jake’s pants next, smiling at the way his face flushed when you started to pull them down past the swell of his ass. “Take these off Jakey” you requested and he obediently helped pull his legs free as you lowered yourself in front of him.

Jake was standing face to face with Danny now that you were on your knees between them, his blush only growing brighter as Danny removed his hat again and pulled his shirt off as well. His focus was quickly taken away though when you pulled the waistband of his boxers down and took him out with your hand.

“You want her mouth?” Danny asked as he watched you stroke him slowly from base to tip. Jake nodded his head, afraid to open his mouth and hear whatever lewd moans that would no doubt come spilling out.

“Tell her” Danny instructed, as he reached forward and grabbed Jake’s hand. He retrieved the black elastic Jake wore around his finger, usually for his own long strands when they became unruly enough to warrant being pulled into a bun, but Danny used it to gather your hair up from your face and tie it back in a low ponytail. “She’s waiting”.

“Fuck,” Jake panted, already growing frenzied from just Danny standing there watching you jerk him off. “I want your mouth” he admit, looking down right in time to see you smiling and giving him a kiss on the underside of his over sensitive head. He was unable to fight back the whine that did surface when you licked him next, all the way from his balls and up his shaft until you were wrapping your lips all the way around him.

Though this was the first time you had given Jake head, it wasn’t by any means your first rodeo, so you wasted no time pulling out all the stops trying to get a rise out of Jake as much as you were putting on a show for Danny.

“Damn, I didn’t know she was so good at that” Danny commented, his own hand palming himself through his jeans for a bit of relief.

“Me neither” Jake replied, his voice getting caught at the top of his throat when you took him all the way down yours and held him there.

Unable to stand by and watch any longer, Danny dropped down to his knees next to you and pulled on your pony tail until you were popping off Jake with tears starting to well in your eyes. Even with saliva still smeared across your face, Danny hungrily attacked your lips with his own, making sure Jake could see the way he tugged at your ponytail again to tilt your head back and slip his tongue inside.

Jake, though he admired the way you both kissed so passionately, interrupted by taking a hold of Danny by his chin and turning him towards his still wet cock. Danny opened his mouth without even the slightest hesitation and took Jake in, his eyes fluttering closed as he hollowed out his checks and sucked hard enough that Jake was tossing his head back and crying out.

You whimpered at the sight, feeling the way your panties soaked through and you squeezed your thighs together. Somehow Jake managed to register your tiny sounds, and he decided it was time to move to the bedroom before he got too lost in what was happening and you guys really did put on a show for Sam when he returned. So he tapped Danny’s shoulder and leaned down to help pick you up off the floor.

“How exactly are we going to do this?” You questioned with a giggle as the three of you stood each of you half dressed in front of Jake’s tiny bed.

“We’ll make it work” Danny answered and started to unbuckle his belt so he could rid himself of his own jeans. Jake followed suit by finally taking his shirt off, the both of them throwing their clothes somewhere in the corner of the room.

You had seen both of them shirtless plenty of times but it never ceased to amaze you how beautiful they both were, especially now as Danny ran his hand across Jake’s chest and they kissed again. Unfortunately it reminded you of your own toplessness, and you suddenly grew hyper aware of your body as you wrapped your arms around your chest.

“What’s the matter?” Danny asked, stepping away from Jake for a moment to come to your side.

“Nothing,” you shrugged your shoulders, but your hands gripped tightly into your upper arms, feeling the way they were squishy compared to his nicely toned upper body.

Jake instantly knew what you were thinking, he knew the way you struggled with body image issues in high school, and even still now though you had really grown out of it and learned to love the shape of your body no matter what anyone else said about it. “You’re so beautiful” he offered, hoping his reassurance would put your mind at ease.

“I know” you replied, giving him a soft smile in return. He had been so patient and endearing with you during your first time. When you were so scared to let him see you like this. It was definitely part of the reason your confidence blossomed into what it was today.

Danny had never seen you before though, and those old nerves were starting to resurface again. “I never knew you liked me like this” you said, looking up at Danny. “Never thought you found me attractive”.

Danny’s brows furrowed like he was offended you ever had that notion in the first place. “I have always thought you were attractive. You are a beautiful person on the inside and the outside”. He placed his hands on your shoulders, gently until he knew you were accepting of his touch and then he started to rub up and down your arms.

“Now,” his voice turned soft once more when you loosened your grip and let your arms fall to your sides again, “do you want to lay down on the bed so we can both prove to you just how sexy we think you are?”

You climbed onto the bed and sat in the middle, waiting for one or both of them to join you, but Danny already had something in mind. He walked back over to Jake, moving past him to pull the chair out from his desk and position it facing the bed. “Your turn to watch”.

With Jake sitting, Danny returned to you, easing you down onto your back as he hovered above you. “I’ve been thinking about this for so long, now that it’s actually happening I almost can’t believe it’s real”.

“I’ve thought about it too Danny” you reached around his shoulders, tangling your fingers in the thickness of his hair at the base of his neck.

“Tell me, what have you thought about?”

“About you touching me” you murmured, a sort of quiet calm falling over the room as you and Danny shared your moment.

He let his hands smooth up your thighs, giving them a squeeze and you a smirk “like this?”

“No, somewhere else”. Next he traveled up your hips, and you fought the flinch and recoil that came to you when his hands found their way across your stomach.

“Relax sweetheart” he cooed, making sure he was looking you in the eyes for any indication you truly wanted him to stop. “It’s just skin, soft and beautiful”.

You took his hands in yours and guided them further upwards until he was grabbing at your breasts. “Here” you breathed out, “touch me here”.

Having your chest fondled wasn’t usually on the top of your list of my favorite acts in the bedroom, but when Danny pinched your nipples between his fingers you let out a moan and arched your back. “Can I suck on them?” He asked, and you eagerly nodded. It was a combination of cold and warm, first the coolness of his wet tongue against the air as he licked over the hardened buds. Then warm when he pulled them into his mouth.

You moaned again, but the whimper you heard didn’t come from you. Looking to the side you saw Jake, still sitting patiently in his chair and stroking himself softly.

“Mmhmm, look over here” Danny popped off your breast to call your attention back. “It’s just me and you right now”.

You sighed contently as he went back to sucking on the other side, both of your nipples lathered up in spit and slightly aching from how hard they were.

Danny sat back up, his fingers playing with the button on your jeans. “Let’s take these off now”. You helped by lifting your hips, and he easily pulled them down your legs and off your body despite how hard they’d been to squeeze into before the party.

He leaned down again and placed a kiss on your lower tummy, then your hip. You could feel how wet you were already, and there was no way with his face so close to your center he couldn’t tell as well. “These too?” He framed his request into a question this time, his teeth nipping and pulling at the waistband of the thong you’d chosen to wear tonight. For the sake of no panty lines of course, not because you ever expected tonight would end with Danny using his teeth to peel them down.

You hooked your thumbs into the straps and quickly pulled them all the way down, Danny having to pull away again so you could get your legs free, then you were finally spread completely bare before him.

Danny settled between your thighs, urging you to bring your legs up and spread them wider so he could get a better look. “Fuck Jake, she’s perfect everywhere isn’t she?”

“I know” Jake answered, almost smugly as he’d had the pleasure of being in Danny’s exact position once before.

“So you two have had some fun already then?” Danny shook his head in faux disbelief, resolving himself that he wasn’t going to waste his chance to outdo the other man. So he dove in, his tongue finding every sensitive place you had to offer him and lapping at your juices until you were a shaking moaning mess. His tongue settled on your clit, slowing down a little to not overstimulate you so quickly as he positioned two fingers at your entrance.

“Danny, please” you bucked your hips into his face, searching for more.

Without having to ask again, Danny plunged his fingers deep inside you, increasing the pressure with his tongue in the same step, and within minutes you were spiraling towards your peak. Danny gripped your thigh with his free hand, and continued to pump his fingers in and out of you until your orgasm came washing over your entire body and you were drenching his mouth in your release. He re-emerged from between your legs with an amused smile, wiping his face clean with the back of his clean hand. “Have you ever squirt before?”

“No?” You giggled nervously, thinking maybe he was joking because of how aroused you were, but he was entirely serious. “I don’t know if I can”.

“Do you want to try?”

You sheepishly agreed, not knowing how this was going to go, but willing to try because you trusted him. Both of them.

“Jake, come over here” Danny stood from the bed and called him over. Jake jumped at the chance to get to him again, connection their lips again and tasting you on Danny. “Go, hold her, make her feel comfortable”.

Jake joined you on the bed, crawling around until he was behind you. Danny grabbed your hips and pulled you down until your ass was nearly hanging off the edge of the mattress and Jake let you use his legs as a pillow.

“You mind if we make a little mess?” Danny grinned as he got back between your legs from the floor, confident as ever he was going to absolutely rock your world.

“Fuck no” Jake answered him. “You ready sweetheart?” He had tucked himself back into his boxers, but you could still see the tent in the fabric when you turned to nuzzle your nose into the fold where his thigh met his hips. You tried to nip and mouth at his erection, but he placed a hand on your cheek. “Not yet, Danny’s gonna make you cum first then we can get back to that”.

“Relax for me” Danny, slid his fingers in again, and from this angle he was able to reach deep inside to the point you were arching your back again and reaching up to find somewhere on Jake to grip tightly. He held one hand, and the other grabbed a fist full of the back of his boxers.

Still recovering from your first high, it didn’t take Danny long to get you back to the edge with his mouth, but once you started to feel that tightening in your stomach, he pulled his mouth away and pressed down on your lower tummy as his fingers started to curl inside you.

“Oh my god!” You cried out, tightening your grips on Jake to the point you might’ve been hurting him, but your mind was too far gone to care.

“Right there beautiful, that’s it” Danny coaxed you closer to climax again. “Does it feel good?”

You were squirming, unable to control the way your body shook. “I feel too good” you whimpered, afraid you were reaching overstimulation now.

“Don’t fight it” Danny continued working his fingers, his thumb reaching around and pressing against your clit. That was all you needed to break, your second orgasm gushing from you without warning. He pulled his fingers out quickly and circled them around your clit again until you were clamping your things shut around his hand.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, okay!”

“I think she needs a little break” Jake told Danny, watching the way your chest rose and fell as you tried to catch your breath. “Don’t want to break her so early in the night”.

“I think you might be right” Danny agreed. He found a piece of stray clothing to clean his hands off with, and your legs a little bit, then helped pull you back upright. “You alright?” He asked, smoothing the hairs that had pulled free from your now messy ponytail.

“Mind if Jake and I play a little now?”

You nodded and gave him a kiss, whispering into his ear before pulling away. “Don’t go easy on him”.

“Wasn’t planning on it” he chuckled back, chasing your lips with his until you were scooting back on the bed and finding somewhere to rest for a moment.

Danny moved to take your place, sitting on the edge of the bed before pulling Jake into his lap. “Are you having a good time?” He asked as he peppered kisses across Jake’s chest.

“Hmm, I am” Jake replied, catching your eyes from behind Danny’s shoulder and giving you a warm smile. “Are you?”

“I’m surprised I’m still holding it together right now honestly. I never thought I’d really get to hold you like this”.

Danny nearly went back on his word when Jake started to grind his hips down into Danny’s lap, giving them both a little of the friction they craved. “I want you to do a lot more than just hold me Danny”.

“Oh?” Danny took hold of Jake’s hips and started to rut upwards to meet him halfway causing Jake to whimper again and sigh. “Tell me what you want then”.

Jake closed his eyes and pursed his lips as his grinding sped up. It wasn’t enough, but it felt good enough to keep chasing the sensation. At least until Danny abruptly stopped him. “Come on Jake, you’re going to tell me what you want or I’m going to go back to that gorgeous girl over there. She was so good for me”.

Jake opened his eyes again and he searched for you, finding you propped up against his pillows and watching intently. Though neither of you were new to being with each other, having Danny here, another man was, and he worried for a moment what you might think of him if he were to be absolutely honest.

“Don’t be shy now Jakey” you called to him, knowing exactly how he was feeling in this moment. “Tell him what you want. We’re both here for you”.

“I want you to fuck me Danny” Jake finally pleaded, before hiding his face in the crook of Danny’s neck.

He felt Danny’s chest rumble when he laughed, and Danny ran his hands up Jake’s spine to sooth him. “How’s that sound beautiful girl? You want to take turns fucking him?”

That was a rhetorical question, who wouldn’t want that? You let your hand come to rest between your legs now, your fingers running through your folds and gathering up the slick from your new found arousal.

Jake stood up tentatively, then moved over to his dresser where he opened the top drawer and retrieved a bottle of lube and a couple of condoms. When he turned around Danny had already rid himself of his last shred of clothing, and the two of you were both waiting for him to return.

The next few movements were a blur of kisses and soft touches, then before you knew if Danny had Jake fully naked as well and shamefully on his hands and knees in front of you.

“Jake’s such a good boy isn’t he?” Danny teased as he grabbed his ass and gave it a squeeze before spreading him apart and spitting on his hole. “Let’s see how far we can push him”.

Jake turned his face into the sheets to hide his groaning as Danny’s fingers circled his entrance, massaging the muscle and getting him used to the touch until he started to press the first one inside.

“That’s it Jakey, his fingers feel good don’t they?” You sweet talked him through it as you rubbed his back and played with his hair. You let Danny take his time stretching him for a while before moving to his side and kissing at his shoulders.

“Can I?” You asked as Danny’s patience was cut between you reaching around to palm at his length and Jake moaning for more. He pulled his fingers free and moved aside, allowing you room to reach Jake, but instead of replacing his fingers with yours you leaned over and slipped your tongue right inside him as far as it would go.

Jake yelped and tilted his hips back, not expecting to feel your mouth, but so thankful for it as you fucked your tongue in and out. While you had Jake distracted Danny took the opportunity to roll one of the condoms on and lather himself up with lube. Though he had yet to be touched very much, just a few strokes with the lube in his hand was all he needed to know he was going to have to take this very slowly if he was going to last longer than a few minutes.

“Why don’t you go lay underneath him?” Danny asked after tapping your shoulder. You wiped your mouth and followed suit, laying back down onto the pillows and letting Jake climb on top of you and take a familiar place between your legs. Jake was still nervous, but at least this way he was able to look into your eyes and find some peace there.

“I dream about this all the time” Jake whispered as he kissed at your neck, his tip already nudging against your bundle of nerves and making you clench around nothing, waiting for him to be inside you again. “No ones ever been more perfect than you”.

“Then what are you waiting for” you asked, rocking your hips in motion with him.

Jake got into position first, slipping inside with ease and pushing all the way in before he bottomed out and pausing to wait for Danny. He wasn’t far behind, using one hand to push on Jake’s shoulders and get him to lower himself a little more while the other lined himself up.

You watched as Jake’s eyes pinched shut, brows furrowed, and his jaw went slack for a moment, his body and mind trying to wrap around all the sensations of being buried inside you and penetrated all at once. “I think he’s good now” you let Danny know he was in the clear to start moving when Jake’s expression softened and he looked at you again with all the adoration in the world. Danny took his cue, slowly building a steady pace until he was snapping his hips into Jake and the force was causing him to push further into you.

His arms were starting to shake on either side of you, strained from holding himself steady in position so that no one slipped out of place. All you wanted was for him to be comfortable, the same way he had gone above and beyond to make sure you enjoyed your first time, so you wrapped your arms around his shoulders and pulled him down into a hug letting him rest his cheek against your chest.

Danny leaned forward with him, getting an even better angle so that now he was nudging right up against that spot inside Jake that made him inhale sharply and an uncontrollable moan forced its way out his throat.

“Ahhh fuck!” He cried out, wrapping his arms underneath yours and squeezing you tight. “I can’t, I’m gonna cum”.

“Me too” you chimed, no doubt your fluttering around him part of the reason he was so close. “Danny?”

“Yeah I’m right there. Who wants it? You or Jake?” He answered, his thrusts already slowing speed and growing sloppy.

“Come here, we can share” you replied and Danny quickly pulled himself from Jake before ripping off the condom. He had enough stamina left in him to make it upright with both feet on the floor, standing beside you on the bed and pumping himself towards his finish.

Jake sat back up and started thrusting in you again, chasing his own high until he watched as you took Danny in your hand and guided him to your mouth. All at once Danny and Jake were both filling you and your orgasm came wracking through your body at the feeling of warmth washing all over.

Just as you said, when Danny stepped away first, you sat up with Jake and pushed your lips to his, swapping Danny’s load back and forth a few times until it was pretty evenly distributed and you both swallowed with a dazed smile.

“You two are the hottest couple I’ve ever fucking met” Danny gasped out, wiping the bit of sweat that had accumulated on his chest with his thumb.

“The three of us are the hottest couple” you corrected him, beckoning him over to share a few more kisses before you all managed to puzzle yourselves together on the bed and blissfully fall asleep.

You woke up to a quiet sound. It wasn’t too early, but you were still tired enough to want to fall back asleep until you figured out what exactly it was you were hearing. When you opened your eyes, your back was against the wall and you were practically laying on top of Danny who was on his back but with his head turned away. Jake was on his side, curled up to Danny as well and they were kissing deeply, their tongues fighting for dominance over the other before Jake finally gave in and melted into submission.

“Someone’s awake” Danny paused their early make out session to announce your return to consciousness.

Jake reached over Danny’s chest and grabbed your hand, pulling you toward him until you were resituated between them, you front to Danny and your back to Jake. Danny captured your lips with his, kissing you just like he had Jake only seconds ago while Jake’s hands roamed all over your body.

“How do you feel?” Danny asked, clearly trying to gauge whether or not you were up for a round two so soon like they very clearly were.

“Never been better” you smiled, your voice catching when Jake’s hand snaked between your thighs to see if you were wet. Of course you were, you’d woken up naked in bed with not one, but both of them. Last night felt like a dream, but the dull ache in your core when Jake delved his fingers in reminded you that it was very much real.

“Jake was just telling me about how good you feel” Danny smiled as he watched your face contort into that of pure pleasure when he added his fingers to the mix, circling them around your clit. “Want to feel you so bad”.

“You want me to keep going?” Jake asked as he pumped his fingers in and out of you, “or do you want Danny to fill you up?”

Your head was spinning from all the possibilities of how this could play out, but when it came down to it, only one thing truly mattered to you. “I want you both. Please”.

“That’s a good girl” Danny kissed your forehead and pulled your leg up around his hip just as Jake retreated his hand only to move around to your backside. He used your slick to press his finger inside, then another until you were moaning and clawing at Danny’s shoulders.

Danny reached between your bodies and guided himself through your folds, and then Jake was there too spitting into his palm for a little extra lubrication so he could ease himself behind. Once Jake was finally situated, Danny thrust in and you cried out from how good it felt to be so full and connected with both of them.

They both started to move and all you could do was just lay there and take it, let them both use you to reach their own finish as you were sure your climax was already budding deep in your stomach.

The room was filled with the sounds of your combined moans and thrusting until everyone came to a halt at the sound of a door slamming shut from across the hallway. Sam, or Josh if he’d somehow made it home instead of sleeping at the fraternity house.

“Please don’t start fucking again!” Sam hollered grumpily. You guessed he had gotten back sometime last night, but in the heat of everything no one had noticed.

“He will get over it” Danny shrugged and you couldn’t help but giggle at how absurd it was, but also you didn’t want to stop right now either.

As quietly as you could, the three of you finished what you were in the middle of. Well they finished with you in the middle, crashing into your orgasm with blinding force.

“I need a shower, desperately” you announced after pulling yourself free from the tangle of limbs. “And to brush my teeth”.

“Your toothbrush is still in the bathroom” Jake replied, sitting up and examining the mess that really was made between last night and this morning. “You go ahead and we will clean up a bit”.

After your shower, you left the bathroom feeling like a new woman, wearing one of Danny’s many shirts that he’d left over here and a pair of Jake’s boxers. Your mouth minty fresh with Jake’s toothpaste.

Jake and Danny still needed to shower, so you left the bedroom to find something to eat in the kitchen, but as you rounded the corner from the hallway to the living room you nearly ran into Sam.

“Oh hey Sam!” You tried to sound excited to see him, and you usually were, though you were thoroughly embarrassed it was under these circumstances. “I’m sorry about last night”.

“It’s alright” he sighed, “I’m just glad Danny will finally shut up about being obsessed with you two”.

“He told you?” You asked, but it wasn’t really that surprising considering how close they were. Then you thought for a moment, sure you were in Danny’s shirt but you were in Jake’s room. How did Sam add that up so quickly? “Wait, how did you know Danny was with us?”

Sam’s eyes shifted over to the floor of the living room where a pile of mixed clothes had been forgotten. “Those are Jake’s pants, that’s Danny’s hat and shirt, I’m assuming that’s your shirt”.

Your face lit up in even more embarrassment. So Sam had known since the second he got home what exactly was going on.

“Next time give me a warning okay? I’ll go crash with Josh or something” he pat you on the shoulder and continued back down the hallway to his own bedroom where you heard the door shut gently closed behind him this time.

You gathered up the clothes and tossed them into Jake’s room before heading back to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee while waiting for the others to finish getting cleaned up. Danny joined you first, pressing up against you from behind and stealing a bite of the toast you had just made.

“God I’m starving. Please tell me they have something other than just bread”.

��There’s some eggs in the fridge I can fry” you giggled, pushing your ass back up against him as he grinned down at you devilishly. “So Sam knows”.

“He was going to find out sooner or later, better it be now” Danny didn’t seem to care much at all as he turned to open the fridge and you bent down to shuffle through their cabinets for a pan and some cooking oil.

“You know, he mentioned something about you being obsessed with us”.

“I may or may not have drunkenly confessed to him one night about how badly I liked you guys”. Danny set the eggs down on the counter with a shrug. “Now, are you going to tell me why you and Jake insisted with everyone that you weren’t together?”

You thought about it for a moment, the simple truth being that the both of you had it in your minds you were just friends, so you stuck to it. “We were just trying to give each other some space to figure out if that was really what we wanted. Though we spend most of our time together, we were missing that extra something to spark that fire. I think you are that spark”.

“Is that eggs?” Jake finally joined the two of you in the kitchen, having taken some extra time to strip his sheets and start a load of laundry.

As soon as Jake was within snatching range Danny grabbed him by the waist and pulled him into a kiss that had you smiling fondly at them when Jake relaxed into it.

“What’s that for?” Jake sheepishly asked, though he wrapped his arms around Danny too.

“Nothing, just some spark” Danny grinned back at you and you shook your head and continued getting some breakfast made for your hungry boys.

Fin.

Tags: @kultavalo @sanguinebats @gracev0609 @lipstickitty @writingcold @musicislove3389 @fleetingjake @milojames16

[aroreiel]

So I started writing this initial one shot POV a long time ago, I think in October. I know, right now, I'm not in a good headspace to write at the moment so I haven't done anything with this in a little while. So I've decided I just want to post what I've got now anyway for you all to read and, hopefully, I'll try and complete it some time in the future. So here it is. The gif accompanying it was my inspiration for it. Hope you enjoy it. ❤

Joseph Quinn x 1st person (minors DNI! Not overly smutty but close references. Swearing, fingering, heavy flirtation etc. I can't remember what else.)

Risky Distractions

The interview seemed okay. I mean it was more engaging than the many interviews before it. With questions that Joseph hadn't been asked a million times already. This time they were relevant, they were thought through. The interviewer was even listening to his answers, fucking hell! Not like others who were itching to spit out the next scripted blurb before he could finish. This was rare. And yet, he was different here. I could see in his eyes he was distant, like he wasn't in the room. He was looking at the interviewer and nodding, smiling with a warmth that spread across his face and into the creases of his eyes. Those deep eyes that just lit up. He was honest, he was earnest. It was adorable. It was perfect. HE was perfect. I'm glad I was sitting down. I was exhausted.

So what wrong with him? I could see it and yet no one else could. He seemed distracted. Is something irritating him? I was supposed to be keeping notes, but I'm hugging my notepad like my life depended on it. His eyes suddenly flicked towards me in such a flit, it would almost be impossible to the naked eye if I wasn't already looking at him so intensely. There were plenty of other people in the room, but that gaze was straight at me. I felt it. It made me nervous. But then he always made me nervous. He also made me shake and shiver and...anyway, it didn't seem like anyone else was even paying attention to what he...

...Oh my god, he then did something with his tongue. It almost protruded through the inside of his cheek. Shit. Now this made me panic. What would that look like from an audience perspective? The interviewer didn't notice, thank god. Did anyone else? No, it was just me. This seemed deliberate. It appeared to look like he was just pondering on her latest question, which he could have been doing. I then began feeling that this was all in my overactive imagination...until his eyes did that flit in my direction again. This was for me. My face flushed. The corners of my mouth went up into a wry smile, as I looked around to see if anybody was now looking at me. They weren't. My heart started to beat a little faster now. This isn't what I think it is.

Oh god. This was dangerous. I needed to know. I wondered if I could get his attention without interrupting the interview. I unhooked myself from my papers and then began scribbling on one piece. As I finished I held it in front of me.

'What are you thinking, Quinn?'

Biting my bottom lip, I waited for him to notice. Oh, he knew how to be coy, he'd been so good at it up until now. So I knew he'd have no trouble letting me know what was going on in that beautiful head of his. I waited for an answer. Not expecting what was coming next.

Without even interrupting the flow of the interview I saw those dark eyes subtly shift in my direction. As he tried not to engage me, his hand then went up to his face and slowly his slid fingers over his mouth and continued up to his nose...and inhaled. Inhaling as if it was invading his senses. Then as quickly as it started, his eyes reverted back to the interviewer, but not before he sucked and pursed his lips on the way. He was back in the room. My heart stopped. I crumbled inside.

Oh god. Our morning secret. In the back of his taxi, waiting for the driver to return to take us to the studio. We'd been resisting each other for weeks, the tension would build every moment we were in the same room. But that taxi was where it all, for lack of better words 'came to a head'. For some reason I was more nervous this time, but we couldn't ignore the tension any longer. I'd uncrossed my legs and shuffled in my seat. Staring straight ahead, trying not to look obvious, he'd had placed his hand on my thigh, caressing it gently as it then crept its way up my loose, conservative skirt. It was too slow. The driver would've been back at any moment. So I guided his hand more swiftly to its destination, and he knew what to do next. Massaging, kneading, then slipping his fingers into my now wet folds, he worked his magic, back and forth, then in and out. God, he knew what he was doing. I felt every nerve ending in my body shake. My panic set in as I noticed the driver heading back. "We need to stop." The smirk on his face as he noticed him too...his thrill as he picked up his pace, faster and faster until my head flipped back and everything became a blur. "Just in time, baby." He uttered, as the driver seat door snapped open, and I'd sat back up straight as I adjust my skirt and crossed my legs. Both of us trying to behave like nothing had happened. But I couldn't help but notice a subtle look of complete satisfaction on his face. Bastard.

That was only this morning. I hadn't even had time to change my underwear. We got on with the day as if nothing had happened, focused on the tasks that faced us.

I awkwardly began pulling at the dress material that was sitting just in between my thighs. Trying to release the heat that I could feel spreading there. Again. I felt a shake through my body. Looking around to see if anyone could see it. I then caught a glimpse of Joseph in my peripheral. One corner of his mouth twitched slightly upwards. He saw it.

Well two could play this game. And I didn't care if anyone saw. I wasn't going to make this easy for him. Just thinking about what he did with those fingers earlier that day... it had wrecked me. And we nearly got caught. I'd been trying to keep myself composed all day. But just this one dirty move from him in front of these cameras undid all of that. Everyone now began moving around as if things were about to wrap up. I looked at the time. One minute left until the interview would draw to a close. One minute to make him squirm.

The faces around me were too busy now to care. I kept my eyes locked onto his and, with a smirk, I lightly pressed my hand into a fist and began squeezing slowly. Then my first finger flicked up as if it sprung for attention. I placed in it my mouth and suggestion took over. His eyes did that flit again.

Nothing else. No other sign, no other flinch. He carried on answering the final, now mundane question that the interviewer posed to him. He had that same bright smile, same thoughtful response. Professional. Endearing. He was so fucking good.

This will do it. Immediately a tremble travelled through my body as I carefully, slowly slid my hand down and under the hem of my dress, and began adjusting myself there. Well it wasn't like I didn't need to. I hitched the hem up higher so he could see what I was doing. Biting my bottom lip, my eyes watched for any sign of awkwardness, fidgeting, annoyance...hunger. Anything.

Nothing. Maybe I wasn't so good at this after all. Disappointment and embarrassment washed over me as I straightened my dress and calmed my now redundant trembles with subtle, slow, deep breaths. I just wanted to find the nearest dark corner and hide there until he'd left the room. I knew I couldn't avoid him for long. But right now, I felt so fucking stupid for falling for it. While looking around almost frantically for that space, Joseph now pushed his long frame out of the chair, politely shook hands with the interviewer and was ushered over to a brighter spot of the backdrop for photos with her. I stopped and watched as the interviewer wrapped her arm around his back, as if she'd be eager so to do it from beginning. I couldn't blame her. Bitch. But he never wavered. He lightly rested his wrist on her small of her back, his hand not touching, only hovering. God, he was so respectful, so...

"You'll need to show him back to his private room so we can set up the next interview." a voice from behind me jolted me back into the room.

"Sure, that's fine." It really wasn't. Not now.

"I never asked if it was okay." they snapped, walking away.

Taking a deep breath, I took my steps forward in his direction. Then I froze on the spot as I saw him walking towards me in what only could be described as brisk and purposeful. The expression on his face, his eyes were dark and they were latched onto me. I swallowed the heart that just leapt into my throat. I couldn't tell whether he was annoyed or angry. Not sure I wanted to know, but I was about to find out.

"How long before the next interview?" he was quick to ask.

"Twenty minutes."

I felt a grip tighten around my bicep. "Well you better be able to keep up with me." Just as I realised that grasp was his, he swiftly ushered me out of the studio door, taking care to make sure nobody noticed the brisk pace we were going at. I was struggling to keep up as we made our way down the chilly corridor, which felt like a relief cooling down my now flushed face.

He was through the private door first, with me trailing along behind. It was like whiplash as I'd barely even stepped through the door, when he spun around to face me and, with his arms stretched over my shoulders, slammed the door shut behind me and forced his body weight into mine, pinning me against the door. He found my stare and his eyes bore into mine, a dark wanton expression spread across them. It didn't take me long to realise my pulsating heart had now sunk to the depths in-between my thighs.

"Did you think I didn't notice?"

My breath hitched with his whispered words as his lips lunged, finding a sensitive part of my neck, nipping a tugging at my skin.

"Hitching up your dress like that, in a room full of people? Fuck, you're a bad girl, you know that?"

I felt my legs shake underneath me, as I reached forward and gripped his waist to steady myself. Tingling coarsed through my veins. I was already out of breath. "And what about you? The stunt you pulled during your interview. Don't think I didn't see that."

"Oh that was intentional, and all for you sweetheart."

"Fifteen minutes." I breathed, reminding him of his next interview.

He suddenly grabbed my hands from his waist and wrapped them around his neck. Then tucking his hands under my thighs, lifted me up and carried me over to the table furthest from the door and settled me on it.

TO BE CONTINUED

[the-exhausted-dumbass]

Hello everyone. I am the man that you all know as Panda. I ran the pandasanddragons blog. Most notoriously, you know me in association with “Rai” who is now going by Kip and by he/him pronouns. His tumblr blogs, as far as I know, are notaguyrai, slaps-and-scribbles, volcanic-penis, and terracotta-crockpot. He also made an Instagram account at one point. I don’t think he uses it anymore but it is boopyboopcoup. I have been able to prove with certainty that me and Kip are not the same person. I had a voice call with @theintrovertbean who had been in voice calls with Kip and was gracious enough to join me in one so that I could prove once and for all that we are different people. @iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia was present during the call as well to serve as a mediator and can also confirm this information.

If you are not familiar with the situation, the original callout post is here.

I want to say that I am so sorry for everything. I let myself get caught up in all of this. I let Kip do horrible things, and encouraged him. I helped him, and I am deeply, exceptionally ashamed of that. I know that nothing I do can ever truly fix what I’ve done. I know that I messed up. I have no excuses for that. It was more terrible than I have words for. You don’t have to forgive me, I don’t expect you to either. But you all deserve a real apology. Not the fake bullshit one I had originally made.

Those posts original apology posts I made were made to try and cover things up, and to try and work out ways out of the whole situation. Those posts were also in some ways an attempt to pull all the blame onto myself, and take it off of Kip so he could keep doing whatever he wanted to do.

This did all truly start with a miscommunication, I vented to Kip. He decided he needed to do something and eventually we both got called out for that in August. Even before that, though, I had started to resent him. Afterwards, it all got worse. If I wanted to talk about it, he would brush me off. He would tell me that since it had already happened, there was nothing to talk about. And we started to argue more, I started to get more distant and he got angry about it.

I also want to apologize for my old blog. I originally made it so that I could make a post about my own opinion/analysis/whatever of Asra and Julian. I didn’t expect to get any attention and I hadn’t even planned on making more than one post. Kip encouraged me to keep posting, he helped me with the blog a lot. But I never wanted to just be a hater or be inflammatory with that blog. And so I am sorry for everyone who I hurt or upset with those posts.

The rest of this post discusses Kip, what he’s done, and my experience with him. Some of it is…a bit graphic and absolutely disgusting. But I feel it’s important to put it all out there. This is the last post I am going to make. After that, I’m leaving this fandom entirely and completely.

Recently, Kip has become active again, trying to cause harm to the Arcana fandom. This had brought attention to me, and to old posts I had made to vent about the situation and lead people to believe that the account was Kip and the source of the harassing messages.

I have decided to come forward with what I know about Kip and his current whereabouts, little as that may be. I do not want to run away from this situation anymore and let him have continued power over me.

I had at one point believed Kip to be my best friend and so I trusted him. I vented to him, I confided in him. I now believe that he saw me as not a person but as a toy. There were times when he would ask me to send messages to people, usually harmless. But he would also ask me to harass people on his behalf. When I expressed that I wasn’t comfortable with that, he would often call me a coward. I told him I sent things so he would leave me alone. He would even get angry with me for not wanting an ongoing conflict with someone I had had a slight miscommunication with. He was always pushing me into things because he “stupidly believed” that I was finally gaining confidence

Kip heavily manipulated me to believe that he was right, that he cared about me, and that anything he was doing was for my honor, as he put it.

He would often belittle me, implying that I was stupid or inferior to him, and also often ignored my boundaries. Much of this came in the form of talking about our OC’s. Often times, Kip would tell me that he was horny. He would then proceed to write about how his OC would assault mine. I participated and I wish I hadn’t. Because it was horrible and I never actually enjoyed it. Kip viewed my OC as his own personal sex toy. He wanted to write “dead dove” content about my OC. I had expressed not liking an idea he was writing out, and he ignored it and kept going with the scenario. I even framed it as my OC’s boundaries but it all went ignored and he would continue. I would try to steer it in a more palatable direction. But that turned into Kip wanting my OC to assault his.

After a creator was sent suicide bait, and a different user, wanting to defend them, came to my blog saying it had been me, I panicked. All I knew was that I had not sent anything like that, and I wanted people to know. It was then doubled down that I did it, with reblogs stating it, several non anon asks, and several anon asks. I couldn’t take it anymore, and I wanted to just delete the blog and be done with it all. Kip, however, told me that many people loved that blog and I should leave it up so they could revisit if they wanted to. So he offered taking it so that I could have some peace while everyone else got to still have access to the blog as an archive. After that I had no control over or access to that blog. In some respects, Kip had access over all of my socials, or at least my tumblr blogs. He would tell me to send asks to people, and I would as long as it was harmless. I never sent anything that would have been harassing or cruel and he called me a coward for it.

Kip often edited my posts, he had access to them before they were posted, he read pretty much anything I posted before I posted it, and put his own suggestions into them.

Some of these images may be a bit blurry, but I needed to put them together since I’m on my phone. These images are from the discord server that me and Kip shared. After the initial call out post, I deleted my old account and joined the server from a new account. So the “deleted user” is me, and I took screenshots from the new account.

This group of images is Kip describing how everyone has always been nothing it a social experiment to him, myself included

This group of images is how Kip liked to abuse my OC. Mostly starting with things like “Your OC is afraid of [x] right? So what if…” it got intense and this is the most mild of it all.

This one is specifically something Kip came up with because both me and my OC share a fear of being pregnant

These images are of Kip…generally manipulating and guilting me. And getting upset that I had wanted to apologize for everything

Kip guilt tripping me, riling me up, and just being awful in general

More guilting, and mistreatment. Things that hurt, and in the top left corner, when this all started. And I told Kip to drop it all. And of course, that he was angry with me for making amends with someone immediately instead of holding a grudge and being mean to them.

These last two are our last conversations. I was angry at him and I finally confronted him about everything. And of me having had doubts, having been disgusted with myself about everything that happened and Kip telling me that we were doing the right thing.

[kittencomicslol]

Gyutaro x reader requests :3

Requests are; Open!!

Hello hello hello!!! If u know me, u know I love Gyutaro (a concerning amount but hey we all have our struggles)

I most likely will not do full entire fanfictions but rather little headcannons/senarios. I’ve done these on my wattpad so for reference this is what I mean by that (no need to actually read this it’s just to show how i do my shit lol) but if you request something and I REALLLYY like the idea or if I’m pumped full of motivation, I might do a full one.

Edit; okay!! What the fart! The link won’t work ig no reference for yall

Here are some guidelines for what I will/wont write, and then under that I’ll set up a little master-List ^_^

Also sen I know you frequent tumblr and the ds tag aswell so helloo! Hello hello!! Ily!! :3

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What I will definitely write!! (If it’s not on here I can try, but this is stuff I definitely will do!!)

-Fluff, I love love LOVE toothrotting fluff

-Angst, depending on how mentally stable I currently am when writing

-Hurt comfort LOVE LOVE LOVEEEE hurt comfort

-Reader w disabilities

-Phobias

-Disorders

-Readers who have gone through past grooming/abuse (I feel u yall ❤️)

-Gore (it’s demon slayer like cmon it’s gonna happen at some point when it comes to something)

-Cannibalism (same sitch as gore, demons n stuff bro)

-Human reader

-Demon reader

-Yokai reader

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What I won’t/can’t do

-NSFW!! I am a minor :3 (ofc I can leave jokes or mentions of shit but I’m not gonna actually post nsfw as a minor)

-M! reader (sorry I just gen suck w it and I’m mostly writing these 4 me, I’m sorry 💔 this does not apply to mtf trans topics!! ❤️)

-Depictions of something unhealthy (grooming, gaslighting, abuse, manipulation, pedophilla, not cool stuff!! I can write this in hurt comfort/taking about trauma but I will NEVER make it something to actually do w the relationship)

-Yandere stuff (though I love this as a horror idea, a lot of ppl actually enjoy romanticizing yandere stuff which classifies as romanticizing abuse. That is totally not cool!! I hate writing that stuff bc it normalizes those topics to younger ppl reading which is dangerous!)

-Incell shit. I’ve seen too many ppl on here go ‘oh Gyutaro is an incell’ ‘I fought the incell accusations and lost’ well I DIDNT. I don’t care about the plot at all, Gyutaro literally RAISED A GIRL. IN THE RED LIGHT DISTRICT. He literally taught her to defend herself against creepy men!! Like cmon guys use critical thinking and common sense pls 😭😭

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I do not know how frequently I will be able to post/write. My life is literally in limbo rn and I am prioritizing myself‼️‼️

If you wanna ask just send it in as a question for my blog, I can work w it that way. Idk if that’s how ppl usually do it or not I’m new to tumblr but fuck it we ball 🔥🔥

And I am posting this 10 minutes before new years, let’s kick 2024 off with scribbles about our favorite demon boy!! <3

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Masterlist!! (Hc / fanfiction

!Human Gyu with an !upper moon reader

Random self indulgent fluff fanfiction

How Gyutaro would like to cuddle

Comforting him with snuggles n praise

Braids

Gyutaro with an !artist reader who has Gyutaro as their main muse

[cerealforkart]

I made myself these little dress up dolls because everyone’s getting changed all the time, here’s the first batch, outfits pre-episode 13

Design notes under the cut

[part 2] [part 3]

Lincoln

* I would first of all like to thank Lincoln for being shaped like a model (long boy) and thus very easy to dress up

* I forgot that Link needed to tear off his sleeves to make Normal a diaper in lesson 14, so in lesson 11 he grabs a sweater when I assume he goes home between escaping the FBI and returning to school

* Lincoln is so comically tall the Teeny costume (which I just moved from Normal to Link and edited to match Link’s pose) only reaches his knees. It actually looked so stupid that I had to edit it to make the Teeny costume slightly longer in the legs

* Link has two roombas in his room, he’s a clean boy, he isn’t walking around Taylor’s house in his bare feet, he doesn’t trust like that, it’s sock time

Scary

* I actually originally planned for Scary to have more piercings, but I forgot to add them in lesson 1. Let’s just say her mom won’t let her go crazy on the piercings, from what we’ve heard in rad facts (wouldn’t let her get a tongue piercing or learn guitar) that sounds in character

* I wanted to do the Shit Garden logo on Scary’s shirt like one of those metal bands that only people who like metal can actually read, but I only have so much time and patience

* I want so badly to play with Scary’s hair more, but I haven’t really had the chance, I hope there will be more excuses to give her different styles in the future, I like the braided bun for fancy occasions a lot

* Big T-shirt and shorts are peak pyjamas, love it for her. Also, you don’t need to know how long I spent trying to come up with something for her shirt to say

Normal

* Don’t tell anyone but I kind of miss drawing Teeny’s big stupid head every day, it was easy comedy

* I did actually draw a Jimmy Buffet design on the shirt before scribbling over it, you can barely see if you look closely

* I don’t actually have anything to say about Normal’s dance outfit so I guess I’ll just take this opportunity to talk about my Normal design in general. He was the one it took me the longest to land on and I’m still unsure if I’m happy with him, I want his hair to be long enough to just sorta hang and be greasy, but not so long that it will get in his face too much and I still consistently fail on it

* Not much to say about his sleepover fit either. Froggy :)

Taylor

* I had originally planned for everyone to be wearing their bracelets on their left wrists but in episode 8 it’s mentioned that Taylor is wearing his on his right, at that point I think I had only drawn Taylor’s bracelet once so it was easier to just change his and let him be a special boy (also, they keep the bracelets on post-FBI because Taylor never really has an opportunity to take it off and the others wear theirs in solidarity)

*After Lesson 10, Taylor swaps out the crest of friendship from Digimon to wear his dad’s ring of swapping as a necklace, he tends to grab at it when his dad or the topic of betrayal comes up

* I hate Taylor for his dance fit. No longer my favourite son

* Not really a design note but I watched the Sailor Moon dub in three parts on youtube with my little sister huddled around our home computer after school, we’re real OGs

Hermie

* I finally decided to add the Joker makeup to my Hermie design, I found a powdery sorta brush to use for it so now he’s a true clown. Good for him I guess

* You may notice that I’ve tweaked my Hermie design and his colour scheme just a little bit. This is because white Hermie is dead and you know what? Good for him. I also made his hair a little wavier for Scam, you’ll start seeing the updated Hermie design (as if you can tell there’s a difference other than the very slight change in hairstyle) in lesson 16, because I drew the lesson 15 pages before episode 23 came out and I wasn’t going to go back and change them

* Stupid Joker tie. Hate it

* No sleepover fit for Hermie. Tragic. They need to have another sleepover and include him

[pumpkinstrawbrew]

No need to reply to this message, but I’d like to give my thanks for going all this way to provide me a list of thorough yet flexible concepts to work around with. I was honestly expecting either no response or at least one simple idea, though I should’ve seen better coming, because you are after all the most committed Batcrow enthusiast I’ve seen. I simply intended to do a scribble of the pair, instead I find myself drafting a short comic. That’s how effective your help is, and I’m certain it will be of use to other fans out there as well. Although I’m merely working on one of the four you’ve written, perhaps some day I’ll look back and cross off the rest.

Here is a sample! (Pardon my writing skills. It’s been a while since the last time I wrote anything, but I hope you’ll believe me when I say I am a writer too.)

Scarecrow:‬ Allurin’ eyes yers are, akin to aquamarine. Tis a sin I scarcely see it, but why conceal such beauty? Do ya fear someone is…mad enough to drown in it?

hey there, i wanted to reply in private, but tumblr wouldn’t let me message you from this acc, only from my main one. i just wanted to make it known, that i’ve read your message! i’m really happy that my suggestions were of any help! *also if you’d rather this ask / post to be gone, just let me know. i’ll delete it, no problem* but honestly, it wasn’t troubling for me at all! i was very stoked to learn that someone was wanting to do a thing for those two. it felt natural to try an' give you a lil list to pick from, since one can never fully know what will stick, or hit that creative spot.

anyways, it’s amazing that you found your groove! an’ don’ worry, i don’t doubt it, when people tell me they are artists / writers! i don't think one needs a proof in form of posts or stories to back it up. since i know that some folks either don't share much online, unless it's with small group or people, or need more time to decide an' want to do it.

an’ i must say, this right here is a very beautiful an’ saharine' on the tongue. reminds me a bit of the times, when i was in my mid-teens an’ would read all kinds of poetry in my free time. the sort of love, that cannot be said in any other way, than poesy. also jon’s southern accent always makes everything better, bc you kinda feel like he speaks from the heart, when he lets it show. 

but ah, sorry if you didn’t want to make this one public at all, i do sincerely apologize if so. i simply wanted to let you know, that you really have no reason to feel any sort of troubling way about your writing. it’s very enchanting.

[gubes-sweaters]

Fire on Fire

Summary: Spencer’s post-prison therapy session doesn’t go quite as planned. While discussing the ghosts of his past he becomes spacy, thoughts lingering on what could’ve been.

Content Warning(s): Talks of Spencer’s trauma, addiction, allusions to what cat did to spencer, brief mentions of Maeve’s death, a brief mention of what happened to the unsub from season 5 episode 12 ‘uncanny valley’ aka the living dolls episode. (I think that’s all but if there’s any more let me know) !ALSO ANYTHING THAT THE ‘THERAPIST’ SAYS IN HERE IS NOT ANY SORT OF SOUND ADVICE, IT JUST USED AS A PLOT POINT!

Word Count: 1.7k

Chapter 1: Maybe it’s all That i’ve Been Through

“Now Spencer, have you made any attempts to contact any of the people you’d like to reconcile with? At least the ones we wrote down last session,” the woman asks as she closes his patient file. She pushes her wide glasses up her nose with her nimble fingers, shifting in her seat before looking up at him.

“Yes, I um, actually got to everyone, except for one, but I don’t think I’m going to reach out to the one I scribbled off,” he says, trying not to fidget much in his seat. 

Despite the relaxing room equipped with a white noise machine, dim lights, along with the comforting smell and crackling sound of a candle, Spencer found it nearly impossible to do just that. It may be because these therapist seasons were the last step before he could fully return to the BAU. His anxiousness to bury himself in his work once again was clawing at him. 

He’s not used to having the watchful eye of a professional to pick apart his behavior at all times, at least while he’s in this room with her. He feels intimidated and paranoid, but those feelings aren’t as strong as they were while he was in prison. Which is the whole reason why he’s stuck in this room right now.

“Why was that?” The older woman inquired as she stares at him, her head cocks to the side as her wavy gray hair that frames her face shifts with her.

“I didn’t realize how many people there were that I wanted to connect with,” he says, looking out the window thinking of the difficult dinner he had just last night. They were the second to last on the dreaded list. As if she can hear his thoughts his therapist pipes up.

“Now I know you had a few people you wanted to speak to. There was a distant relative of a man named Tobias Hankle who was…” she trails off to let Spencer fill in the gaps.

“An unidentified suspect, an unsub. It’s what we call the people in our criminal investigations.” Spencer says.

“Right, and he was the reason for your addiction. Correct?” She asks in an attempt to keep him engaged in the conversation.

“Mhm,” is all Spencer musters up.

He looks out at the view from the therapist's office. There’s a park right across the road with large willow trees, casting shadows down at a happy family. ‘That could've been him,’ he thinks to himself. A dad playing with the older child. The kid bopping along happily in the lush grass. A woman sat at a park bench, not too far from the other two, with a baby happily gurgling on her lap, clapping along to the antics of the two in from of them. It pains him to know he has no memories of his own like that. Not from his own childhood and none from a family of his own.

“Spencer?’ The woman sitting across the mahogany coffee table asks him.

“Yes?” he responds, not even realizing she was still speaking to him.

“I asked you about the others on the list. Both of your parents, Derek Morgan, Stephen Gideon, Elle Greenaway, Mary and Joe Donovan, and one last one that’s scribbled over. Who’ve you reached out to?”

“Um, I sent Tobias Hankle’s cousin and letter, then I talked to my mom, but there’s not a lot to talk about with her. She hardly knows who I am anymore. I sent my dad an email and he sent one back, but I don’t know if I can bring myself to read it quite yet. I talked to Morgan. I actually had dinner at his house with his family and it was nice. Stephen Gideon didn’t pick up any of my calls and he didn’t email me back. Elle called me back, it was nice to hear her again,” he says before he cuts himself off. The last two, Maeve’s parents, that was the terrible dinner he had the night prior.

The memories were still so fresh and it hurt to think about for too long. The actual memories themselves were not terrible, they were content and happy, but something about seeing that Maeve came from such a happy family hurt even more. She was pure sunshine and now he knows where she got it from. 

“And?” She pushes.

“I talked to my ex-girlfriend's parents last night. After everything they’re been through I didn’t think they would’ve wanted to talk to me, but they did. They welcomed me into their own home. I think hearing them talk about everything made me blame myself a lot less,” he says trying to choke back tears. The lump in his throat seemed to swell.

He thinks about the tight hug her mom gave him. How she commented about how tired he looked as she dished out food for him. It was the first really good home cooked meal he enjoyed since before prison, other than at Morgan’s house the week prior. He thought about Maeve’s dad talking about Maeve when she was younger. It made his empty heart clench, sitting there imaging Maeve sitting next to him at the table, giggling along to her fathers stories. A shiny diamond ring on her finger, that catches the light from the delicate chandelier that hung over her parents' dinner table, as she lifts a glass of wine to her lips. The thought of that never happening made Spencer’s loneliness all the more soul crushing. He longed for that feeling of domesticity.

“That was progress. We talked about you alleviating the blame that you pile on yourself. Now, I would like to know who this is on the bottom you scribbled off?” she asks, pointing her pen to the writing at the bottom of a notebook. 

“I’m not too particularly keen on reaching out to her.”

“Why is that, are you afraid of rejection from this mystery person,” she inquires.

“No, everything with Cat Adams was very recent, and I know the investigation just stirred up her life. At least that’s what I heard from my team. I’m not sure if I want to do that again,” Spencer replies with a shrug of his shoulder before chewing on the inside of his lip. He knew he was partially making excuses.

“Well, this is your time to be a little selfish when it comes to your healing. We’re also supposed to be growing some more empathy for people like Tobias Hankle and Cat Adams. We’re not washing them of any wrong doings but,” is all she gets out before Spencer cuts in.

“I know, the bureau wants me to still feel bad for unsubs and in a lot of cases I do. Samantha Malcom is one that sticks out, sure she kidnapped women and basically turned them into living dolls, two of them she even accidentally killed, but she had also been physically, sexually, emotionally, and mentally abused by her father her entire childhood. Part of my heart hurts for her. There’s too many to count in all honesty. I look at them and it’s like looking in the mirror,” He says quickly.

“Spencer, I know you have a good heart, but after all you’ve been through in prison and your wrongful conviction I think it’d be best to speak with someone who knew Cat Adams and was going through similar things to her in order to not look at this all so… clinically. We can look at these peoples actions as monstrous, but we can’t paint everyone incapable of changing their lives. Abuse victims aren’t a monolith and if you think of what Cat has been through and think that her way out is justified, or any person's way out was justified, then we can’t have you working in the field with that mentality, given everything you’ve been through,” she says, trying to give him the softest, empathetic smile.

“I didn’t say that people seek vigilante justice or everyone reaches a tipping point. I never said those things were a healthy reaction either. I just,” this time it was the older woman's turn to interrupt him.

“You just poisoned men while in prison in the name of vigilante justice, or framed a man for assault, or told your unit chief Emily Prentiss that you would’ve had no problem murdering Peter Lewis a.k.a. Mr. Scratch. Spencer I know how your brain has been scrambled by being put in such a dog eat dog environment like that prison is. I just want you to exercise empathy by reaching out to her. I’m not asking you to ever justify any of Cat Adams’ behavior and I’m never going to ask you to forgive her for anything. You have a right to feel hurt, violated, and angry. I just want you to look at Cat Adams and see where her life went when she was hellbent on revenge. Then look at this family member of hers and see how she’s healed. At least I presume they’re a family member.”

“It’s her half sister. On her dad’s side.” he says shortly, feeling like a child who’s just been scolded by a parent. He knows she’s right in the effects of how it could help with healing, but a part of his heart that holds that hatred and content for Cat wants to project that onto her.

“Great, when you’re comfortable, reach out to her and simply ask to talk in a location that has brought you comfortability in your life other than your house. So you can feel a bit more relaxed and ready to open up. All of this is about doing what you can to improve your quality of life and your mental health. I care about you Spencer, I really do,” when she finishes her statement offers up another soft simple before opening his patient file backup once more.

“Alright.” he says with a gentle sigh.

“Well, that’s all for this week. Unless there’s something else you’d like to talk about. If not I’ll see you in two weeks,” she says, preparing to stand up.

When Spencer shakes his head no, they both wordlessly standup as he exits the room. He knew he already had the next appointment booked so he leaves with a polite wave and a tight lipped smile. Once he reaches his car, he takes a deep breath before cranking up his car. The warm August air causes him to shed his cardigan before pulling out his phone. He hovers over a number Penelope gave him. Dread fills his stomach once he hits the button to call her. Spencer once again looks at the happy family, now packing up their stuff as the line picks up.

“Hello?”

A/N: AHHHH! So I fell in love with writing again. Part of my burnout was caused by not wanting to pick up my series “unexpected turns” again because I didn’t plan it all out ahead of time, which was the worlds biggest mistake, but I digress because in my free time I’m going to rework that series while I put out this one. This one is already fully planned out and all of the rough drafts are done for it. So, the only thing I have left to do is polish this series, while reworking the other one. Any who I hope you enjoy the start to this series, if you do please like, comment, and reblog my work. Any engagement is much appreciated!

Taglist: @striving4averagegirl @measure-in-pain @tvandfanfic @haylaansmi @rexorangecouny @sophiario

[crow2222]

I don't know when I've written enough to comfortably start posting the chapters of this fic,

but here's a little snippet of the first chapter under the cut because I just wanna share some of it already

“I’ll be back in the evening, later Ponyboy.”

Sodapop ruffles my hair as he says his goodbyes to me for the evening. I hate how it feels without grease in it, but I haven't had the energy to put it in. That's only if I use Two-bits's tub too, and I don't think I can handle that like Sodapop can.

Soda was grinning at me but his sad eyes were telling me the truth. He’s been working like a dog day and night for the hospital bills. I just wish I could help- if only my limp wasn’t making it so damn annoying to walk.

He walks away from me, going into Two-bit's room; Darry was sleeping there, or at least he's meant to be asleep. If he could get out of bed, I feel like he'd be like those cats scratching at the door that have been left out in the rain, begging to be let in; or in his case, let out. He’s gonna go downright crazy soon from staying in bed, but he has to. Doctor’s orders. He hasn't given himself a proper chance to heal ever since we got out of the hospital. We just about had to tie him down to the bed last night, he kept trying to clean all around Ms Matthews house; it was a bit of a funny sight sure, seeing my big brother on his tippy toes trying to clean the top of a fridge, but his scrunched up, pained face, took all the laughter out of me.

He felt guilty for staying here indefinitely, hell I do too, but I'm taking this gift without a second thought because we sure need it.

But at least Darry got assigned Two-bit’s bed. I had to sleep in Karen’s obnoxiously pink room; being a fourteen year old greaser in a preteen girl’s frilly pink bed was embarrassing, to say the least. I have a feeling there was a slight advantage to our rooms though- aside from the bed sizes, Karen's room didn’t stink like Two-bit’s room, it's no wonder Darry can't fall asleep.

Even if all I did today was walk to the kitchen, make a bologna sandwich and plant my ass on the couch; I sure felt tired.

I settled my head deeper into the dirty couch pillow, it don't smell too good and it was lumpy but it was better than the hospital bed so I hugged it gratefully. My vision goes as I close my eyes, starting to think about why all this had all happened in the first place..

…

I wonder what it’s like in a burning ember..

I stared at my cigarette’s burning, almost glowing end instead of reading the book I had propped wide open in my lap, the words sitting patiently right in front of me. It was some dusty old book I’ve read multiple times- if the bent corners weren't already enough to tell, the scribbles of my thoughts would be. None of that has never stopped me from reading a book before though. If you knew my family, or what side of the town we’re on, you’d know that we don’t have a good flow of money; I just have to make do with what I have.

Unless Darry was in a good mood and let me go out on a trip to the library; I’d pretend the books I’ve had sitting around for years weren't mine, dust never collected on the books in the first place from how often I handle them. Instead, I’d pretend they’re brand new books I’ve bought recently, ignoring the highlights and anecdotes in between the lines I've made myself.

I was smoking peacefully in my room, which wasn’t exactly allowed but the whole gang was away for the day, at least for now. Darry would always send us out when a cigarette was lit, he got that from mom; she’d never let anyone smoke in her lovely home, not even her own husband, said it gave her headaches.

Both of my brothers were working and the rest of the guys were probably out in the town causing trouble like the hoods they are, which was the usual. I can’t lie, I really did hate them a little bit for hanging out without me, but at the same time I know I shouldn’t, seeing how it wasn’t their fault that I got grounded. Well, at least not this time.

[coffeewithcutcaffeine]

How the Ink Flows: 2024 scribbles by one Miss Lin ✨

Because my uni schedule has been kicking me in the butt constantly these days, I have decided to write this post to let you all know (as well as to make myself try to stick to my goals) what I am currently working on and what I would love to share with you this year! ❤️️ Also, at the end of the post under the cut, there is an important question regarding my taglist -- please, read the info if you follow my works and/or want to read some of them!

VOIEVOD

Vlad Dracula will most definitely remain my number-one priority for this year. So far, the update on the upcoming works for his story looks like this:

I am currently working on Second Chances, the work that maps one of the epic battles of Vlad's life, namely his spectacular duel with the former Voivode Vladislav II that marks the beginning of his second (and longest) reign. I have had to put my writing on hold for a while as I tackle my new uni schedule but will do my best to get back to the WIP as soon as possible!

Next, there is Novus Rex, Nova Lex which deals with the beginnings of Vlad's rule, and the tensions between him and the boyars. This WIP is also a strong homage to the wonderful Romanian movie Vlad Ţepeş (1979) as I have decided to borrow a fabulous scene from it and use it for Vlad's story. Hopefully, I will do it justice!

I would also love to focus on the beginnings of Vlad and Cătălina's relationship. You have already had the chance to meet the wonder of a woman, but the start of their love story and all the circumstances that lead to it definitely deserve to be told chronologically.

If all goes well, I would try to also dip my toes into Vlad's years with the Ottomans and try to explore the Drăculești family. A certain Mușat will most likely also make an appearance.

OPEN HEART

The world of Dr. Laura Levchenko has currently been put on hold for an indefinite period, mainly because I am heavily struggling with the overall story and some characters in it. I would also love to drift away from her role in the romantic relationship and explore her character as an individual. I think there is a lot of work to do for me to reassess what I want to say through my writing and what I want to do with the plot.

If all goes well and inspiration kicks me in this universe, I would love to delve into a series mapping her life directly after the maitotoxin attack. If you want to see Laura away from Ethan and shine individually in her pain, then this might be for you. ❤️️

CRIMES OF PASSION

I have been planning to finish a few works I have in mind for this story since summer but, unfortunately, the WIPs keep being abandoned by their negligent writer! I want to heavily redo and expand what we have been given in canon and turn it into something more serious and personal -- being from Eastern Europe, this story hits very close to home, and I would love to give it the levity and portrayal it deserves. So far, the WIP that I would love to work on more is called Silence, Silence, Dry and Black and explores heavier cultural and political themes. I am aware it might not be everyone's cup of tea but hope you would give it a shot nonetheless.

THE WAYHAVEN CHRONICLES

I am still exploring the story and toying around with my M!MC but, if all goes well, I have a very particular idea for a fic I would love to write this year! I am still not sure if I will make a single work from it or divide it into two shorter fics, but I hope to make it happen. Expect pure indulgence on my part as this will be my inner romantic pouring her heart out.

TAGLIST

This way, I would also like to share that I am thinking of creating a taglist for those who are still willing to read my word vomit! I would use it to:

tag you on my Voievod works that I post both here and on AO3,

tag you on my TWC fics that I will most likely post both here and on AO3 when the time comes,

tag you on posts regarding my OH and CoP fics that (for reasons) I have decided to post solely on AO3. However, I have chosen to always make posts with an AO3 link attached to them so that you do not miss a heads-up whenever a new fic is published.

Please, do not hesitate to write a comment under this post or send me a DM if you want to be added to my taglist! ❤️️

[fandomscompilation]

The story of two broken souls (Kaz Brekker x Reader) Part 8

Fandom: Six of Crows

Pairing: eventual Kaz Brekker x Reader

Warnings: nightmares

A/N: Hello guys! Another part is here and I have 7 more ready to post after I proofread it. Let me know what you think and remember the taglist and requests are open. Enjoy!

Taglist: @d34drapunzel @coldheartedmar @igakc

Gif is not mine!

The Crow Club was still bustling with life when I came in. Jesper immediately came up to me with a smile.

"So how was it?" He asked walking with me to the stairs.

"I'll tell you later. Need to tell Kaz before I forget things." I quickly run up to his office and knocked before letting myself in.

"I don't remember telling you to come in." He said glancing up for a second. I huffed grabbing a blank piece of paper and a pencil that was always laying around. Quickly scribbling down everything I learned today I breathed out and leaned back into the chair.

"It felt like my head would explode." I groaned rubbing at my temple. Kaz eyed me slowly before grabbing the paper.

"That was his plan?" He quirked an eyebrow making me shrug.

"That's what I found on his desk. And to be honest the stupidity of those three men made me want to drown myself." I rolled my eyes and noticed Kaz tense up for a second, but I didn't question it.

"You did a good job. And what about the man?" He asked putting away the paper and going back to his documents.

"Drunk, unconscious in his room." I shrugged leaning my head back and closing my eyes.

"I'll have the plans delivered to the Razorgulls and let them take care of the men." Kaz informed and I only hummed in acknowledgement. "You can take a day off tomorrow." I snapped my head up and looked at him in surprise.

"What?" I didn't even try to mask my emotions. Kaz seemed to read my blank mask anyways.

"You had a long shift yesterday and an eventful day. You should rest before you work at the bar." Brekker said scribbling down on his documents. I frowned for a moment before nodding.

"Alright. I guess I'll take the day off." I said standing up. "Don't overwork yourself, Brekker."

I left the Club and headed straight for my room. He was right in one thing, I was exhausted. It was different from scaling the rooftops or taking down man, but my mind felt like it was in overdrive all the time. When my head hit my pillow the darkness found me faster than I thought.

"Will you?" I asked softly putting my arms around his waist. His hands grabbed my own before he turned around to face me.

"Y/N! Where are you?" I heard a familiar voice call out for me, while my own giggles echoed around. "Come on lapushka, you know I'll find you."

"You know I'll always look for you. Wherever you are moya zvyezda." His hand caressed my cheek making me push my face into it.

I breathed in his comforting scent and let myself relax into his arms. I opened my eyes to meet his dark ones. I could see them sparkle although we were covered in darkness, his and mine.

"Tell me where you are. I'll come find you." He soft voice made me frown lightly. Find me? I was in front of him. "I need you by my side lapushka. I found her, I finally found her. I can make Ravka better now."

I stepped back from his arms and looked around. I was still in my nightgown and there was nothing around. It was not a dream, it wasn't a nightmare.

"How are you in my head?" I snapped looking at him with anger.

"It took some time for you to let your walls down." He said dropping the act, now that I knew I wasn't really dreaming.

"I'm not coming back." I said stepping back again and he made a step closer trying to keep the distance small.

"Sooner or later you will." He seethed in anger and tightened his jaw. "Your place is by my side." I shook my head blinking away the tears. He stepped closer again and put his hand on my cheek. "I have time to wait for you, but even my patience has limits."

I felt my breath quicken. I wasn't easily scared but I knew him. I knew what he could do, I've seen it. I closed my eyes and willed the darkness to hug me, to blanked me in safety away from him.

"You can't run from me!" He shouted and I gasped loudly.

I sat up clutching at my head. I was feeling safe with the lack of dreams. And here he was breaking through the walls yet again. He said he found her. But who he was looking for to begin with. It seemed I had more problems than bringing down some old greedy man and dealing with Kaz's episodes.

[gedehamster]

Alright, here i go, time for me to talk about modern art cause i saw a thing online and i can't keep my brain waves to myself. So, earlier today i saw a post on social media with people talking about Cy Twombly, this discussion came mostly from a new york times article written in 2018 by Roberta Smith

now of course as the internet is most people did not read the article, instead just seeing the main image of the article and being horrified and pearl clutching over the fact that this is being show in a museum ever, the picture being this.

This is Cy Twomblys piece "Untitled" (another thing people hate in modern art for some reason) from 1954, and is a single piece in a large Exhibit called "In Beauty It Is Finished" now of course there was the usual sweep of "my kid could draw that" and "this isn't art it's just scribbles" not really helped along with the fact that a medium that Cy Twombly has worked with quite a few times is Crayons (despite the fact that any art medium can create beautiful art but that is a whole other story). and those comments didn't really bother me much, the one that really hit me was the comment "At first I thought this sucks, but after reading the context I’ve realized it sucks and is pretentious" with alot of people replying to this comment with stuff like "THANK YOU" and "THIS!" I completely understand if not all modern art speaks to you, not all art is supposed to speak to everyone... i don't understand people who dismiss modern art due to it being modern art but i can understand someone seeing this piece and not getting it, i understand someone looking at it and not feeling the primality in it, the basis of what makes art, the glowing flow of orange dancing over the nature filled greenery with the dark shadows being cast from the red sun, i will also admit it is far from my favorite piece that Cy has created. But keeping a closed mind about art is and has to be extremely sad right? like the idea of reading an explanation of what makes this piece so interesting and fun, the idea that it is meant to be an exploration of art as a process, the primal urge to create art and the symbols people can find in the most cryptic symbols human beings can make, the nature of art as art. it is also important to note that you scribbling on a piece of paper with crayons, showing it to the world and saying "look, i can do this too" is what the piece is kind of inviting you to do? it wants you to explore those inner feelings of creating, and the fact that the human mind, even with the basis of splattering colors on a piece of paper still creates something. i showed this piece of a friend of mine and they told me they really liked the symbolism of a phoenix rising from the ashes of a burned down forest, a different take from mine but still sits with those same base elements doesn't it? it still sees the forest, it still sees those warm colors, it still sees hope in a sense, the same symbols drawn from different conclusions of what the art piece shows. Now this is far from an original take on modern art, even less so a nuanced one, it's just rambles on tumblr but sometimes i just need to get thoughts out, and honestly, i would love to hear what you see, what is this art, i know you don't look at it and just see scribbles, if you do then try again, let it sit with you for a bit, i wanna hear what your mind wants to say.

[myliobatis]

Why Did This Fic Involve So Much Math: Behind The Scenes Of A Really Long Chapter

I kept threatening to do this and here it is: the planning materials (scribbles) that kept me organized enough to finish chapter two of far to the west and worlds away, aka the ensemble-cast-repentance-in-avallónë fic that ate my life. I am not constitutionally suited to writing longfic (and a 10k chapter is LONG for me, I usually hover in the 1k or less range), so this was an extremely necessary part of the process. Let’s get into it!

where it all began: early shape-of the-world thoughts in the back of a work notebook. it also contains first drafts of several scenes, but those are not pictured because they have Actual Confidential Work Materials mixed in.

from there, it developed into this bullet-point conceptualisation of the “deal with the death”, which has lived in the bottom of the continually-growing gdoc ever since. almost none of this rationale made it into the text, even though it underpinned everything.

here are the notes I took during my silm and UT reread these past few months. I made a conscious effort to compare the text to fanon, because I hadn’t reread since my first time in the fandom eight years (!) ago. the areas marked with the red inkstick are notes I found particularly useful for this project (vs. generally interesting).

within that notebook, there are some pages specific to planning this series. this one was an early stab at working out the order in which the characters would return. you can also tell that I ran through multiple pens during this process!

working out relative ages at the time of the crossing to Beleriand, which was part of a larger effort to contextualize character relationships.

an early attempt to plan the order of scenes and break up the chapters, including a couple of concepts I later removed. I wrote myself into a corner with the publishing order at the start of the series and here was desperately trying to fix it (only partially successfully!)

another stab at the sequence of returnees, in which you can tell I was having trouble remembering the year of tyelpë’s death…!

questions I asked myself to flesh out the worldbuilding of returnee-aman. in the end I chose to go with less self-actualisation, because. well. drama

working out what exactly this in-universe project entailed; only some of which made it into the finished version. never could work in the random Teleri shipbreaker.

a page of painful math, using this timeline, to figure out when a reasonable date to start the returns was. I did so so much math and then remembered like two weeks later that the numenorean invasion happened and had to recalibrate all over again!!

finally, this large-format sketchbook sheet I wrote out at around 75% finished the fic, to finalize the order, mark down issues to resolve, and make sure the characters were getting roughly equivalent screen time (the dots are tracking focus scenes).

Not pictured: hours and hours and HOURS of thinking about scenes and mentally editing while running, walking, doing laundry, etc. It was weird to put my entire brain into this post, but fun!

[fayes-fics]

Hello congrats on 3K! Do you have any other abandoned wips?

Hi Nonny!

Thank you so much 🫶

I sure do. Let me crack open Google docs…

Ok so, apart from Waking Up sequel I talked about here, I have a few I can chat about. I’ll put under the cut so those interested don’t have to scroll a long post.. (also filth warning lol)

Nsfw Alphabet for Benedict Bridgerton

I’m sure you’ve seen these headcanon alphabet things before. I got a request for this, but I was halfway thru mine way back in summer 2022 when a mutual posted theirs and I felt bad about posting mine immediately after, like I was trying to steal thunder or something, so I moved on to other things.

Untitled Riding Tandem type fic with Anthony

Occasionally I like to challenge myself to write a fic with the same premise for both brothers as a character study of how different or similar they could be in certain situations (yes okay mostly sexual situations lol). I started a sister fic for Riding Tandem with Anthony coming to the aid of reader instead of Benedict.

Here’s a teeny snippet:

——

“Stop that,” he orders curtly, a hand on your hip quelling your movement.

“Why?” you pout slightly.

If only your fellow passenger was not in quite such a seemingly disagreeable mood, this ride might be so much more pleasant.

“Miss,” it’s through gritted teeth, almost pained, “you do not wish me to steer this horse into the ditch, do you?”

“No, my lord.”

“Then kindly sit still,” he gruffs, but his hand stays in place, fingers flexing around your hipbone.

——

Dancing dirty fic with Anthony

Similar reason to above, I dly started scribbling some content for a fic similar to Rhythm but with Anthony. In it he owns the building the club is housed in and takes reader upstairs to have some more fun.

This snippet takes place in the lift on their way upstairs:

——

His hand snakes around your leg from your kneecap. Smearing heavily against your skin, it rounds the side of your thigh, gathering your dress on his wrist as he continues up and around diagonally onto your bare ass cheek.

You instinctively rock onto the balls of your feet, tilting your pelvis out. He crowds closer, and his fingertips hook into the string of your underwear

“This seems like the most pointless scrap of nothing. You might as well not be wearing it” he opines into your ear as he tugs it over the globes of your bottom and down your legs, his fingertips trailing over your skin. He crouches and taps your ankle, signalling you to step out of them, and you do so. He is back standing behind you as he slides them into his pocket. “Much better.”

——

Mostly abandoned fics are non requests and just silly ideas I had. But i usually put them aside to write what is asked of me lol.

There are a few others, but I’ll leave it there for now. Thanks for this ask 😁🧡🧡

[animehouse-moe]

I'm terrible with timeliness and acknowledging things, but I hit 300 followers on Tumblr a couple of days ago now, which I thought was pretty cool. The conditioned response is a "thank you", but that doesn't feel right (and not in a selfish way, at least I believe). It's really cool that 300 people actually follow me and this account on a platform as I talk about anime and manga and whatnot, but it's one of those things where the longer I think about it the more I wonder as to why.

It's not like I offer anything unique with my stuff. I don't post art or fanfictions or anything that I can say is my creativity alone. As far as I see it, I'm just a crazy person scribbling away at a wall in an empty and white room. But I also don't really make any attempts to humanize myself in a lot of what I share, mostly because I struggle with riding the line between getting my point across effectively and in a meaningful fashion, and sounding like a person instead of an AI-generated response.

So maybe I should try a little to express myself some more, starting now.

I never intended to ever make something like this, nor do a lot of people. I was a university student over 2 years ago now that wanted to work on a project, but I needed a direction, a purpose. I deeply struggle with creation without reason, so I tried to find a way to drop a carrot in front of my face to encourage progress. A blog website is a very simple and easy thing to build to fill out your project portfolio, so I thought on what I'd be interested in making it for. Cars? Cool, but too costly to really do much of anything with. Computer hardware? Similar struggle. At that time, "Anime" came to mind as a cheap and accessible focus thanks to my increased watch time of media due to covid, so I ran with it.

I would just build fake or temporary blog posts to fill out the site and test it. Then I thought, if I'm going to have a blog site I should probably make a Twitter account for it as well. Oh, I should probably do this too, and that also. And so I accidentally made an entire platform based off an idea for a programming project. After about a year I abandoned the blog website because the project was "complete" and it's not like I was getting much traffic to it. But I kept the Twitter going, and going. And then one day I ended up here, and just kept going until I reached this follower count. It's weird to think about, in a sense. I never intended this for last, but it won't let go of me. It's even weirder because in all of my life I've never really been one to do anything like this before.

That's about it for the history though, I should probably add some details to the present.

As I write this I'm listening to a playlist of my favorite Nine Inch Nails songs. I'm a really big fan of their earlier work from albums like The Downward Spiral, that Industrial Rock sound is just so satisfying to me. But I'm also a bit of a music whore myself. When I say "everything except Country" I really mean it. Everything under the sun aside from Country music I'm cool with, but no matter how many phases I go through in terms of genres, I'll always gravitate towards the older music I used to listen on the radio to in my dad's car as we traveled for sports tournaments when I was younger. Foo Fighters, Muse, Soundgarden, Rage Against The Machine, Red Hot Chili Peppers, all the great bands of the early 2000s.

I also really do love art books. I'm terrible at art though I've never seriously tried, no matter how many times I tell myself I will. It does make me feel like an asshole though when I comment on art when I have no talent. It makes me feel unqualified to offer input on it, and makes me painfully aware of how shallow my analysis can be in comparison to what actually knowledgeable people can provide. I feel very similar with how I talk about anime. I refuse to view my words as an end all be all to any of the creative aspects because I've never even tried to what some of these authors/staff members have. But just like the couch potato dad will critique all the star athletes making hundreds of thousands a game, I'll sit myself down at my desk and belt out my complaints with very little reservation. A very hypocritical activity.

Sometimes I struggle with a healthy relationship between myself and this account. I think it's important to view them as two separate things for sanity's sake as well as to stave off an inflating ego, but it doesn't always happen. There's days I feel guilty for not saying something, for not making use of the platform I've created. I can feel a need to post, to be productive and compare myself to actual content creators despite my adamant declaration that I'm not one. It's a silly thing, but the internet and social media can be a terrible place that inspires people to desperation, to a deep desire for validation and popularity and that the numbers that you can see matter a great deal. It's not really fun.

Despite my (self proclaimed) "knowledge" of social media and the spheres of it that I engage with, I'm pretty terrible with outreach. Someone asking questions or challenging a point that I've written are things I can do very naturally, but genuine outreach and interaction is something that I struggle with. Should I do a giveaway? What's the best way to do it to make sure it goes to someone that deserves it? How should I go about finding similar accounts to interact or collaborate with? Is it okay if I reply to this post or ask a question? Truthfully, I might go as far as to say that I'm socially inept in regards to social media. It's a wave that I struggle to ride despite my reliance on it in several ways. But it's something I'm at least trying to stick with, so if there's any accounts similar to mine or anybody reading this thinks I'd be interesting in, tell me about them. Yes, a pathetically lazy request to make, but I just find myself intensely apathetic to a lot of the forced nature of social media.

But I'm still here, for whatever reason that may be. And I like talking about anime, manga, and all sorts of other similar things, for whatever reason that may be. And people follow me and like my posts, for whatever reason that may be.