#those are the only 2 I’m certain will be read in august

[geryone]

July is going by so quickly & I have not even begun to think about what I’m going to read for the Sealey Challenge this year

[cherrysdeck]

Pick a card: Prelude to love.

First meeting your future spouse. When, where, and how.

Remember: Take only what resonates, this is a general reading. Tarot readings are done with entertainment purposes only. Hope you like it!

Pile 1 -> 3

Pile 1

When: 3 of cups, 3 of swords, 8 of wands, 2 of pentacles

3, 3 months?, 3 years?, March? August, Winter, winter blues. Early morning, after lunch. 

Where: ace of pentacles, 6 of pentacles, 5 of wands, 2 of swords

Sports game, job interview? (That feels like a really weird setting), Boxing game, sports, yoga class, painting class. Decided to try a new hobby so you signed up for an activity or class. Garden. Betting (more like betting on a sport, than in a casino)

How is it going to be?: 2 of cups, ace of pentacles, king of wands, king of swords in rev, 8 of swords, the hierophant, 5 of wands rev, the fool, knight of swords

What a tension. I feel like people will look at you two thinking oh they will end up together, and you honestly would rather anything else, literally. Somewhat enemies to lovers, or more like I found them really annoying the first time we met. Makes you roll your eyes. Kind of rude to be honest. I feel like you’re both very competitive and stubborn people, we’re from different teams. It will take more for you two to actually click. It feels like being in the same group not by choice, but slowly you get used to each other, and you start to get feelings. Your fs might be to careless when they speak, and you might just end up looking at them unimpressed, like please shut up. They might like bragging off, or be a know it all, correcting others. And that gets on your nerves. Your communication styles are clearly so different and that might lead to somewhat of an argument, ends up being more like banter. This will grow into teasing with time. They don’t leave a good first impression on you, but you’ll end up meeting again and again, running in the same circles. Your fs will definitely be the topic of bathroom gossip, like can you believe them? It’s all good pile 1, they’ll redeem themselves. It what happens when you’re complete opposites, clashes might occur at the beginning, but then you realise you balance each other really well.  

Pile 2

When: death, the star, 8 of wands

During a period of transformation, unexpected moment. You will be very busy and focused on something else. It might be after a breakup too. August, February, March. 2025. Late at night. Friday. 22.

Where: 4 of swords, the devil, ace of swords, 8 of swords, 8 of cups

Graduation, work dinner, a party, a retreat, networking event. I get a very busy place full of people, but you might feel isolated here. You might have just moved to a different city, still not used to it or not knowing many people there. There’s a certain level of insecurity, like what am I doing here? I want to go home. 

How is it going to be?: Oh my god, I forgot to write the cards and I started doing another pile, I’m so sorry. Those that I can remember are: 8 of cups, 2 of cups, temperance in rev, 4 of pentacles, 9 of cups, the fool.. again I’m sorry

I just felt such great relieve. I think it’s related with the feeling isolated in the middle of a crowd. And suddenly someone appears who eases up your tension. Your fs makes you relax immediately. There’s a big feeling of familiarity with this person. Either one of those I think I know you from another life or you might know them, but so far you’ve just seen them around or on social media, and this is the first time actually talking. They might help socialise in this setting, introducing you to others. Instead of talking just the two of you, there will be someone else in the conversation all the time. One of you just wants to have alone time for 5 minutes, but someone is always interrupting. I feel like your fs knows how to navigate these social situations very easily, and you’ll look at them like wow, they are a social butterfly. They also know how to include everyone in the conversation, the kind of person that always makes you feel included. I feel like there will be some tension and chemistry right off the bat, but because you’re barely spending any time alone, you both start to get a little impatient and frustrated that you can’t actually explore it. It’s leaving you two wanting more. You two will be paying so much attention to each other, but others are completely oblivious and will not leave you alone. One of you might ask if you want to go eat something and get out of there, and it’s like yes, finally. Exchanging phone numbers by the end of the night, kind of meeting that leaves you giddy, with butterflies. Might think about each other once you’re already in bed, start texting soon too. You just want to know more about each other. Another alternative is staying up all night in a party or bar afterwards, getting McDonalds or some fast food in the early morning. SO much laughter. You just get a feeling afterwards that this is going to be a long term thing. 

Pile 3

When: the empress, 6 of wands, 4 of sword rev

Summer nights from Grease. Was it love at first sight? Summer, May too, September, the first, You really wanted to work on yourself and not look for romance, but they just showed up, what can you do? 

Where: the hermit, king of wands, 6 of sword, 9 of pentacles, knight of cups

The beach, a beach club, festival, cherry blossom festival?, Self-care activity. Lantern festival. River, during hiking. Outdoors. Swimming. Cruise ship. 

How is it going to be?: the hermit, the magician, strength, the chariot, death. The emperor, high priestess rev, 9 of wands

You know when you spend a long time manifesting something, and it’s been a long long time, and you’re just so tired you give up, and suddenly it’s knocking on your door. That’s how this meeting feels like. I keep thinking of this manifestation technique of making a list of how your ideal partner is. You were just so tired, and decided that it was time to move on and forget about it. Started focusing on yourself, doing more self-care, trying new activities, meeting new friends. You really were over it. And then boom, perfect, ideal, fs is just there. This wasn’t in your plans right now. I feel like laughing, but the kind of laughing when something doesn’t make sense or it’s just absurd. A by chance meeting, might result from something embarrassing, like spilling a drink or like in books when the mc crashes into the love interest. They’re well dressed. I think you might feel a little be contradicted, like finally I was doing so well single, and now you show up? But how can you ignore them now? Your fs is just exactly what you had wished for. There will be a lot of talking and lots of laughs, it feels like a first date already. Suddenly you get like tunnel vision and all you can see is them. I feel like you won’t want to say goodbye at the end. Let’s have lunch, and dinner, and breakfast together. 

Xo, Xo, Cherry 💋

[fanauthorworkshop]

Introducing the FAW Summer Asynch Session!

Many people have mentioned that the times I lead the spring and fall workshops aren’t accessible for those with busy/unpredictable schedules, but they would still like to participate in the workshop and join the FAW community. To address that feedback, I’m running an asynchronous summer session. An asynch session doesn’t have a set meeting time. Instead, you’ll read up to 2 pieces presented each week by fellow participants, write them crit letters, and participate in discussion over Discord. 

The only required* meeting is an individual 30 minute Zoom call with me any time during the two weeks prior to the start of workshop. We'll use that time to go over the syllabus together and I can answer any questions you have. You'll book via Calendly once I send the welcome email.

*Optional for previous participants

Participants of the workshop receive:

Attendance in a 4-6 week asynchronous course during which you’ll provide feedback to your peers and workshop one piece of your own work, up to 6,000 words.

Access to the Fanauthor Workshop Discord server, an active community where we host weekly accountability meetings, writing sprints, a twice monthly short story club, and other events.

A 15-30 minute pre-workshop consultation with me to go over the syllabus and any questions you have.

A 30-45 minute post-workshop consultation with me to discuss the feedback you received, come up with a plan for revision and/or publication, or anything else you’d like to discuss regarding your writing.

Open enrollment option in future workshops.

Timeline

Applications close: June 14

Syllabus calls: July 1 - 12

Workshop begins: July 15

Workshop ends: Before August 23, depending on the number of participants

Cost

The recommended amount is $150. If you’re experiencing financial hardship and unable to pay, or can't pay the full amount, please let me know.

How to apply

Eligibility

Anyone over the age of 18 who considers themselves a participant of fandom and who is familiar with fanfiction may apply. A stable internet connection is also required. Submissions must be written in English.

Application requirements

To apply, you will need:

A brief cover letter discussing your fan history and goals as a (fan)writer (more specific instructions on submittable).

Maximum 1,000 words of your writing, either original work or fanfiction. This may be previously published/posted.

You can apply via submittable. Applications close June 14. There is no fee for applying.

FAQ and other info under the cut.

FAQ

Are there any content restrictions to what I can workshop?

The only restriction is word count (max 6k), with the following caveats:

If you workshop a piece in a form other than prose (for example, a script), your peers may not be able to offer constructive feedback on that aspect of the work. Participants are asked only to have a familiarity with prose.

Content warnings are required for each piece (if applicable), and participants who are uncomfortable reading certain subject matter may abstain from your workshop.

What is the time commitment of the workshop?

As a participant of the workshop, you'll be asked to:

Workshop any piece of your own prose up to 6k words, which will need to be uploaded no later than the Sunday prior to your workshop week. For example, if you sign up to workshop in week 2, your submission will be due July 14. Participants will have a week to read it and write their crit letter, and discussion will begin over Discord on July 22.

Read 2 pieces per week, write a 1-page crit letter for the author, and participate in the Discord discussion.

What are the benefits of being in the Fanauthor Workshop community?

We have an active Discord server open only to those who have participated in the workshop. Once you've completed the workshop, you'll have access to attend our weekly accountability meetings*, writing sprints, our twice monthly short story club, and other events we host.

*I'm working on figuring out an asynch accountability group.

You'll also have an open enrollment option in future workshops, where in lieu of applying again, you can pay a portion of what you intend to pay and secure your seat in the upcoming workshop.

I'll be working on rolling out additional events and benefits throughout the year.

Can workshop participants submit to OFIC Magazine?

Yes! Part of the reason I run the workshop is to inspire and promote the original work of fanwriters. You can follow us on tumblr @oficmag.

Who is running the workshop?

@bettsfic! In short, I lived a dreary cubicle life as a banker until I found fanfiction at 24. I loved it so much that I quit my job to get an MFA in creative writing. I loved the MFA so much that I became a writing teacher. I have some publications, awards, an agent, and 2 million words of fic on ao3. I don't have a book out yet but I'm getting there.

Currently I'm a writing coach and freelance editor. I also have a lowkey writing-related newsletter. And I've been answering writing advice asks on my blog for 10 years.

If you want an idea of the kind of writing activities I create, last summer I worked with @books on a workshop series which includes craft essays and some fun prompts.

If you're interested in my original work, my short story "Not If, When" is a good representation of my writing. For something darker, check out "Shut Up and Kill Me."

What is the workshop like?

Check out G's experience of attending the workshop. And here's some feedback from previous participants.

One final note: This is the first summer asynch session so there may be some hiccups. I've taught asynch classes before so it's not totally new to me, but there's still bound to be some pivoting when the workflow that makes sense in my head doesn't work super well in reality. It happens sometimes. I'm always taking feedback and trying to improve the workshop.

If you have questions about the workshop or application process, you can shoot me an ask, DM me, or add me on Discord (I'm bettsfic there too). Or you can email me at ekweeks@gmail.com.

[tea-hytyyto]

Please Take The Time To Read!

This is a continuation of @cupids-chamber post about the TWST fandom. You can read their post here! This post by Cupes > This is literally the ultimate Tea Time Talk I’ve done on this blog so buckle up. Also some of this post will not make sense unless you read Cupe’s( @cupids-chamber) so I recommend reading that! I haven’t posted any new content in recent times and it really is because of this. I’ve lost time to school and whenever I return I can’t bring myself to write for the fandom. It’s hard to write something that gets so little attention at the expense of a lot of my time. I do appreciate those who do read and like my work though which is one of the only reasons why I haven’t left completely. I only write fluff and angst, no nsfw and I feel like that greatly slowed down my progress. There is nothing wrong with nsfw however any other genre of writing is severely undermined. I’ve been following TWST since August of 2020 and I’ve gotten to witness all of the ups and downs of it’s journey. As Cupes (@cupids-chamber ) stated, the fandom has gotten increasingly toxic as more players join and people’s opinions change. What might’ve been amazing to read about 2 years back would be considered boring to read now. Now, I want to make this very clear. I’m not talking about this situation for attention, pettiness, or to shame others. I do however what to help bring to light this issue that can potentially be concerning. Unless a person fits a certain citeria that this fandom has set up for them, their work will not be seen. By this I mean that in this fandom certain characters, genres, and tropes are more appreciated. This does not extend just to writers in this fandom, almost any sort of content you post about TWST needs to favor towards these topics. Characters like Malleus, Riddle, Idia are more likely to succeed than characters such as Kalim, Deuce, and Sebek. Nsfw or general suggestive themes are more appreciated that fluff. A character shipped with the mc or reader is much, much more popular than ships between characters in this fandom. This isn’t necessarily bad but the main issue that comes with this is that unless you do those popular themes than you simply will not be recognized. I think that this is just a highlighted portion of this fandom’s toxicity. I’m done for now, but please do keep in mind what was in both of these posts. Thank you for those that actually read this and for Cupes who allowed me to continue on what they said. Have a nice day/night! 

[bleachbleachbleach]

7/24 - 7/28/2023

I said I wanted to finish Rukia 1 by "Wednesdayish" which apparently means "Friday," but it is done! The two scenes I needed to finish were a conversation with Kyouraku, which was not as hard as I thought it would be, and a conversation with Renji, which ended up being a lot harder than I thought it would be. The prospect of trying to say anything else about this chapter--what might be working, what I'm worried is not, what I want to tackle in revisions--makes me feel 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃 and/or delusional, so I will not. It is done for now, it is just under 10k, and I've decided what I want to do next is move into Renji 2 and then read through Chapter 1-6 to get a sense of what I'm working with before I finish Rukia 7, with the goal of doing so (and completing Part 1) by the end of August. I am hoping this will not result in me feeling compelled to make extremely dramatic changes, but if it does, I would like to know about them while Part 2 still feels drafty and flexible. XP

It's funny, because while I was organizing my files, I found a note I'd written a year ago that gave a rundown of what kind of headspace I thought each character was in and how they were likely to come into this fic acting. I am fairly certain I have not looked at this note since I wrote it, but was very pleased to see that the way I wrote Rukia 1 corresponded well with what I thought she'd be like, even though in that intervening year I haven't been focused on most of the Rukia parts. Is it in-character? 🙃 I'm trying not to ask myself that yet. Everyone else is either pretty on point with the notes or I haven't yet focused on their chapters enough to really know where they will take them. Except for Hitsugaya, who is completely different.

In any case, here is how this fic (currently) begins:

After the war, Kuchiki Isamu had languished in a private bed, in the care of a dozen nurses, for one hundred days. Then he died. Now it’s been another hundred days, and another memorial is in order. Like many of Isamu’s cousins, Kuchiki Rukia is dressed in uniform black for the occasion. Her arm does not bear her vice-captain’s badge; any whisper of the 13th and its late Captain Ukitake would only be a distraction, and she is here as the Lady Rukia. Her tekkou are silk, white on white, the finely woven pattern of Kuchiki crests revealing itself in the turn of light.

Or it would, if Rukia were in the light. If she were part of the processional through the courtyards with Isamu’s immediate family and his most immediate branch families, and the families closest after that, their kinship obligations blooming outward like chrysanthemum petals. If she were among those sitting under the great gold lanterns in the memorial hall, light dancing as the swell of reiatsu makes them waver. If she were part of the full delegation of Kuchiki chanting the litanies of the dead. “Rukia! What are you doing here?”

Last time they’d spoken, when Head Chef Kuchiki Masami was preparing the tasting menu for Rukia’s promotion banquet, Masami had yet to stop calling her “just call me Rukia,” though the nickname was by then decades old. (“So, just-call-me-Rukia, if I have my sous place the order for abalone by next Tuesday—” “Just-call-me-Rukia, would you prefer steamed or roasted?” “You know, just-call-me-Rukia, I’m still waiting on that fancy Inuzuri ultraspice you keep talking so big about—")

Either the world has finally changed enough or Masami is too distracted to indulge in old times’ sake—in which case Rukia shouldn’t be here at all, never mind what for. But then Masami bends low enough to kiss Rukia on the forehead as she flutters past her, tall and bird-like, and says, “That work station isn’t stricken yet. Careful of the rice flour—your blacks, my love. Your blacks.”

[josefavomjaaga]

Joseph and Napoleon, again.

Still reading the correspondence between Napoleon and Joseph during the Peninsular War, and I can’t decide whom of the two correspondents I dislike more. Napoleon still boasting »I will in Spain find the Pillars of Hercules, but not the limit of my power«, while Joseph - who has warned him over and over that things are going really, really badly here - after the capitulation of Baylén is already on the road from Madrid back to the French frontier, running from an army of infuriated Spanish insurgents … that’s really hard to stomach and makes me pity Joseph, who sees much better how things really stand, but whose opinion, it seems, Napoleon never takes serious.

And yet I think I’m also starting to understand why, despite Joseph’s and Murat’s problems being so similar in nature, I have far more sympathy for Murat than for Monsieur Joseph.

This is from a letter Joseph wrote to Napoleon in 1808, when he had been driven from Madrid the first time, after Dupont’s capitulation at Baylén and literally only a couple days after he had first entered Madrid:

Joseph to Napoleon, Burgos, 9 August 1808

[…] I found here other people of my household who left Naples after it. I have been here since this morning; I have been thinking a great deal about the situation of Spanish affairs, about those of Naples, and about Your Majesty's letter of 3 August, in which she tells me of my fondness for the Spaniards. I disregard all intermediate ideas, and here is the result of my reflections:

1° Since much blood and money is needed to conquer Spain, France is entitled to find an indemnity for it, and to ensure that these peoples, who will long hold a feeling of animosity against her, cannot essentially harm her. For this, Spain must be reduced to the point of being powerless to give in to this resentment: joining the provinces beyond the Ebro to France, joining Galicia to Portugal, dividing up the Spanish possessions, would make what would remain of Spain descend to the rank of a third power; [...]

It would be possible, by returning the increased Portugal to the house of Braganza, and disposing of Spain and the Spanish possessions, to make them objects of compensation, the price of the war and the token of a general peace [...].

2° When I consider myself in this matter, it is impossible for me not to become at once a stranger to Spain. Honour, conscience, or finally that hidden instinct which is the motive of all my actions, […]

… Money? Or women? It has to be one of those two!

[…] would never allow me to remain on the throne of Spain, if that monarchy were to be reduced in the least part.

Of course. Ruling over a third degree power would be beneath one Joseph Bonaparte.

In the supposition that France would want to gratuitously lavish her blood and gold to place and maintain me on the throne of Spain, I cannot conceal from Your Majesty that I could not bear the idea that another than Your Majesty should command the French armies in Spain. Having become the conqueror of this country through the horrors of the war in which all Spanish individuals will take part, I will long be an object of terror and execration. I am too old to have the time to repair so many evils; and I would have sown too much hatred during the war for me to be able to reap in my last years the fruit of the good that I would have been able to do during peace, in the midst of preventions and calamities of all kinds.

To sum up: Joseph is not necessarily against using violence against the Spaniards – to the contrary, he is fully aware that a ruthless oppression will be necessary in order to get a hold of the country, and he even suggests that the country be split up, rendered powerless forever, and certain regions be used as barter goods with the Brits for a general peace.

He just does not want to be the one to do it.

In exchange for the priviledge to see his brother sit the throne of Spain, Napoleon please do all that ugly fighting and butchering and maiming. M’kay? Getting his hands dirty, that’s nothing for a person as delicate as Joseph. He wants to be seen as the good guy by his new subordinates, so he cannot be involved in any of the ugly stuff. But, hey, Naps, that’s precisely what you went to Brienne for, right? So just invest some fifty millions in money and some fifty thousand soldiers (Joseph keeps asking for this over and over, before he even has reached his capital), kill whoever you need to kill in order to make sure that the Spanish will not rebel again, and I’m all yours to wear that crown.

And in case Napoleon should adopt neither of Joseph’s suggestions (either split up Spain and make it powerless, or beat it into submission and then place Joseph on the throne), Joseph will do what any person in his right mind would do, call it a day and go back to his much more comfortable throne of Naples. Sorry, Naps, surely you will understand.

I can’t help but feel a lot of Schadenfreude at the thought that, when Joseph was writing this, Naples had already been given to Murat.

[myenemystolvrs]

March 2021

completed fics that i read this month.

~read the tags~ 

▶ more than 1 chapter

Sasunaru 

1. When the House Falls Down by sowell [M, 14K, 14ch]

“When the house falls down, all that's left is to rebuild.”

2. Looking for us by fangirlandiknowit [M, 28K, 4ch]

“Being in love with your best friend is never easy, but there might be light on the horizon for Naruto... If only Sasuke wasn't so oblivious!“

3. Healing the Broken by KizuKatana [E, 132K, 23ch]

“The war is over, and Sasuke is brought back to the village after his defeat by Naruto. But he is struggling to re-assimilate into the village. As his mental stability continues to erode, Tsunade and Kakashi ask Naruto to try a different treatment method.”

4. The Worst Shift by CapturedByNoodles, KizuKatana [E, 124K, 24ch]

“A decorated officer of the court with a police record as immaculate as his badge, Naruto Uzumaki was certain he could take on anything. Even if that meant wearing a skirt, procuring a street corner, and going undercover as a prostitute... with his old high school rival as his first client.”

5. Opposite Sides of the Tracks by KizuKatana [E, 77K, 10ch]

“Naruto and Sasuke come from opposite ends of the social strata. Sasuke is heir to the Uchiha business empire. Naruto is just trying to survive childhood. But they are more alike than they realize. When both their lives get ripped apart, the bonds of friendship they forged as children explode into something else entirely.”

6. Rebuilding by KinomiAkai [E, 25K, 7ch]

“Sasuke has spent every day since the war's end trying to rebuild. It's a good thing Naruto has been doing the same, isn't it?”

7. Something Good by KinomiAkai [E, 93K, 29ch]

“Some people are assholes. Some people are kind. It's when those are the same person that things get real confusing.”

8. Something To Remember Me By by heimai [E, 82K, 9ch]

“Every summer, Naruto visits the sleepy beach town of Oceanview. Easily the best part of the trip is the carnival, set up for three days at the end of August. As summers pass, Naruto finds himself coming back again and again to see the boy at the end of the boardwalk. First, he wants to win the game the boy runs, but it turns into wanting to win Sasuke's heart instead. For some reason, Naruto just can't get him out of his head.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

▶ one shots

1. Can't live without you by fangirlandiknowit [M, 2K]

“Time skip ninja-verse, Naruto and Sasuke admitting/coming to terms with their feelings.“

2. Waiting for the Stars by KinomiAkai [T, 6K]

“Sasuke and Naruto lay under the stars. (There's a meteor shower tonight.)”

3. I Wanna Be Yours by shcrlockholmcs [E, 7K]

“It had been exactly one year, eight months, four days, and six hours since Sasuke had left. Not that Naruto was counting or anything.

Or

Naruto attempts to build a life while Sasuke is away, only for it to all come crashing down when he returns unexpectedly.”

4. safe in your arms. by ambiguousreality [T, 2K]

“Sasuke comes to terms with the cold, hard facts of life.

He actually likes cuddling with Naruto.”

5. there was a reason (i collided into you) by RecklessWriter  [T, 7K]

“Accidental kissing is an actual thing that happens. Sometimes repeatedly. Just ask Naruto and Sasuke.”

6. Flesh and Bone by dawnstruck [M, 14K]

“Like an ouroboros, a snake devouring its own tail, this, too, means eternity.

Alternative summary: "He says we are engaged to each other, you moron.”

7. Because I'm Here Now by SasuNarufan13  [M, 2K]

“Sasuke's body keeps moving on its own - even after all these years.”

8. Waiting for an Answer by KinomiAkai [T, 8K]

“After eight years of struggling, Naruto finally caves and confesses to Sasuke. But it's okay; nothing is going to change between them. Everything will be the same.

...The moment Sasuke stops bringing it up every twenty seconds, it'll be the same.”

9. thirty-five by writedeku [G, 5K]

“You,” Sasuke starts, then falters. “You still have my bedsheets on the bed in the other room. They’re not dusty. Did you know I was comi—“

Ack. “God, no,” Naruto deflects from the redness in his cheeks with the harshness of his words but he knows Sasuke will see right through him. Curse the two of them. “I just. I keep it clean. For you. In case you came home.”

Sasuke is quiet, but he knows what he’s thinking.

Ten years. You did that for ten years?”

10. stay at home dad by chai_lattes [G, 1K]

"You've got a pretty bounty on your head, Uchiha Sasuke."

"It's Uzumaki now." Sasuke said, flipping his hair out of his face. "And I'm retired."

[wrestlingisfake]

Ultimate Warrior and ECW?

With all the speculation about CM Punk maybe going to TNA, I was reminded of the time the Ultimate Warrior had people wondering if he'd give ECW a try.

In August 1999, Warrior posted a lengthy article on his website, to address his future. Fans had spent the better part of a decade wondering wondering what he'd do next. He'd burned his bridges with the WWF in 1991, 1992, and 1996. Jumping to WCW seemed to make sense...until he actually went there in 1998 and flopped badly. ECW was a viable third option for most wrestlers, but Warrior wasn't exactly like "most wrestlers." Even now the idea of him in an ECW ring with guys like Taz and the Sandman seems insane, sort of like transplanting Drax the Destroyer into an episode of The Boys.

The original post on Warrior's website is long gone, of course, but luckily I dug up a copy from the Usenet group rec.sport.pro-wrestling. Unfortunately, I couldn't find Paul Heyman's initial reaction to the overture, but I'm certain it was along the lines of "I'd be happy to respond to him, if only I knew what the hell he said."

For posterity's sake, I thought I would paste Warrior's post here, below the cut. If you haven't read Warrior's writing before, trust me--everything he wrote was pretty much like this.

***

Hello. Warriors. Since my short note here at Warrior Web many mails have come in. 99.9% of them positive; the other .01%, warriors don’t concern themselves with.

My comment, “I'm back” has been misunderstood. Like to clear that up right now. I'm back here at Warrior Web. Feels great to be, and I’m planning to do so more regularly, but I’m not back in the ring or back out in the world of Prowrestling. I do, however, understand how that could have been misunderstood. The last time I put forth major effort here on Warrior Web, those efforts, happened to coincide with a return back to Prowrestling.

Since the topic of choice and curiosity, for a great deal of you, is Prowrestling let me make a couple of statements about the probabilities of possibilities and the impassibilities of impossibilities.

WCW

Often I get mail with language content that clearly reflects the writer isn’t aware that I appeared at WCW. For those who don’t know or aren’t sure, I did; in the latter part of ‘98. A year ago, almost to the day, I began what was a 6-month/2 PPV contract that expired 12/31/98.

“Why,” many ask, “aren’t you still there?” Of course, everyone else has expressed their opinion. And in this business most of those are built on quicksand -- nothing about them is concrete. The truth is that there is no leadership @ WCW. Something I did not know before I started my negotiations, suspected during, and later, after signing, came to find out all too clearly. Eric Bischoff is a personable enough guy. His intentions are in the right place, but his leadership skills are sadly, brutally lacking. I don’t believe, from what I saw, that there's any malice or sinisterness to personally destroy anyone’s career. My position on this differs from others. But, I do agree, he doesn’t, as I saw it, do much to propel one either. Frankly, he’s acted more like the chairman-elect of the WWF’s welcoming committee, as talent frequents there, than he has as the President of WCW.

There is absolutely no proper preparation for the television programming. At all. I’m sorry Eric, but making yourself unavailable all week because you say you “need to clear your mind,” and not returning calls at all, and scheduling a paltry hour and a half to two hour meeting just prior to airtime on Monday night with all the talent, each one vying for his own vague range-of-the-moment agenda, while, at the same time, vilifying the agenda of others is not proper preparation, in anyway shape or form. “Spontaneity”, as it was called, is altogether different than trying to fill a void.

What I was told I’d have and what my character needed -- to exploit it to it’s fullest potential -- necessitated thinking, and that was too difficult for some individuals there to do. Who, specifically, those individuals are, I intend to discuss at greater length later. (see note re: book below)

The real blame lies with the leader. The actions and behaviors of the troops are set by the general. [“An Example Set is an Example Followed.” Brought to you by Warrior Wisdom.] When the general runs and hides under the covers or dives in a foxhole, the troops follow suit. Who are they to say or do otherwise? Especially when the mailbox always has a regular-arriving check in it, and Turner’s pockets are viewed as an “ATM machine,” and anyone who wants to tinker with the system is forewarned, “Don’t f%#$ with the ATM machine.”

Truth is, many don’t want to be the best and that “ don’t have to be, why try to be?” atmosphere becomes increasingly demotivating. Many are, and want, to be floaters, perturbers, disturbers, or slackers. On the other hand, there are some truly good-intended individuals over there butting heads with that bulwark of complacency, but as a whole, intentions are far removed from activations.

I’m proud of what I brought to WCW. I spoke openly about the deliberate diversions and people didn’t like that. My first appearance, a face to face interview with Hogan, Beefcake and Bischoff was a launching pad like no other, if they’d just utilized it instead of telling me “We think, maybe, you stepped over the line, uh, possibly, and made comments” -- during that brilliant, well-thought out, well-planned interview we never expected -- “that were too personal.” Are you kidding me? Maybe guys, it’d be better if you just stopped at, “We think, maybe.” Then I’d understand. Then I’d get it. Shortly after, I heard the words “too cerebral” and “Warrior’s turning himself heel by acting like that…” Little droppings of sentiment seeded in the minds of others by Einstein himself, Professor of Scatology, Kevin Nash. Well, if that’s the opinion held by others, I strongly disagree. And when faced with the facts I intend to release one day soon, I’d say it’s a damn shame some didn’t engage their cerebral a bit more. Because ultimately, as the ratings in the marketplace now vividly show, it has cost the company, irretrievably, as a whole. I expect this will be denied and refuted. That’s why we keep some back. Besides, the evidence speaks for itself.

It’s really funny and sad at the same time. I just find it odd when someone who wants to be the best at everything he does or tries gets shunned for that very reason. Something is really wrong with that. Really.

WWF.

This will not happen.

Look, I know what I put up here at Warrior Web will find its way to a load of “.coms.” So, before I make any statements discussing the WWF, I want to let you know that, as a fan, supporter and endorser of my wrestling career, you deserve a more thorough explanation. That is impossible for me to do at this time. In the near future, I will. Nonetheless, recognize that if the following statements were not true to the degree which I claim, I’d be doing only myself harm.

For now, just let me say that three years ago, again, almost to the day, I filed a lawsuit against Titan Sports, Inc., Vince McMahon, Linda McMahon (the et.al.) Three months from today, on November 16th to be exact, my day in court will be had. Actually, it will begin; trial is set for two weeks. It is, also, inexpressible to relay, intelligibly, the scope of effort and breadth of information that has transferred, transmitted and transpired between the parties in the last 3 years. Only those who have lived it can know. It would take a book. A book I intend to write. A candid, divulging, unrestricted tome I will write myself that is unlike any other this industry has ever witnessed. Today, all I can say with assurance, without violating my own case’s rights, is that Titan has avoided facing the truth for the last three years by creating lie after lie after lie. And when that hasn’t worked they tried another. As my own counsel has said in recent documents to the court, "The best thing they (Titan) do is create fiction." They continue to do so even as we approach the doors into the Halls of Justice. It has taken three years just to unravel and demystify the subversion of their legal arguments and claims. And I’d like to thank my legal counsel -- Joseph, Shawn, Charles, Lorraine, DeAnn, Jo Lynn -- for doing so.

“Why haven’t we heard anything about it?”

U.C.I./Warrior vs Titan, et.al. hasn’t made the front page of any papers or nightly news or talk shows for a few reasons. First, it’s not sexually scandalous and doesn’t, thereby, increase circulation or television ratings. Yet, it is about decadence; the lies and deception of Titan’s outrageous and morally corrupt bad behavior on many levels. It’s about a historical practice of claiming -- Machiavellian-like -- total, absolute credit for any creativity, development, or success of any character that company has ever employed. It’s about egregiously claiming the sovereign rights and operations to an individual’s physical and intellectual abilities. Each of those autonomously created by a being none of us, in reality, knows, certainly not Vince McMahon and his company, Titan Sports. It’s about an abusive use of cold, calculated power over individuals who simply want to succeed. Often times, naively, at any price. It’s about continuing a callous witchhunt in hopes that others, under the natural apprehension and skepticism of a deposition done by the uncouth, will remark that you’ve acted humanly, and then taking that human fallibility, that we all have, and turn a life lived into a drama of inimical intrigue and villainous character assassinations and portrayals. It’s about unprofessional, unethical and totally disrespectful choices and actions by a company and it’s counsel that.t.t…Strike that. And that’s just the beginning.

Titan doesn’t want their public to know that the liars and lies in this story -- the testimony under oath -- aren’t playing or part of a role on television. These liars and lies are real, not actors and lines; not part of a storyline created for entertainment. Righting the wrongs committed against me, my reasons for fighting this battle are mine and mine alone. None of which have anything to do with public support, opinion or praise; beyond the listening eyes and seeing minds of a jury. Besides, calling a liar a liar and a lie a lie -- before having the evidence to prove it -- would have just been a claim easily denied and refuted by Titan saying three simple words, “That’s not true.” Oh, Titan will still say, “That’s not true”, but they know that, too, is not true, and moreover, not capable of being denied or refuted as the record shows.

I was wronged severely by Titan, Vince and Linda and it’s representatives in ‘96 and, now as we come to find out, ‘92, as well, and I’m righting that wrong in the clearest, most absolute way. Through the Justice system. In November, I will, after three years of Titan’s blatant conniving misinterpretations and twistings of words, get my opportunity for Justice, Vindication and Reparation. Even with the Reparation being in the multi-millions, Justice and Vindication have a priceless worth all their own. In front of a jury of 12 fellow members of society and a judge who acts, and guides, objectively and rationally -- one who dispenses with the chest-pounding histrionics and casuistries -- Titan will be held accountable for the breaches they’ve committed against me. Once and for all the book of my dealings with Titan Sports will be closed. The Book of Warrior will be open, the lesson I’m to teach will be taught and I will speak freely.

By the way, welcome back Bulldog. Glad to see you’ve resolved your difficulties personally, and those issues, past, with Titan professionally.

ECW.

Many of you have written and asked, “What about ECW?”

So, let me answer that question like this. I think you’ll like it. Those who think will get it.

First, congratulations on your recent TV deal.

Now, I don’t believe I’ve ever met Paul Heyman. If I have, I don’t remember doing so. I only know him by what he’s accomplished and done and by what others have said of him. Also, I’ve never watched ECW. But, that in itself, doesn’t mean anything. I don’t watch or read about the sport at all -- that’s right, none -- unless, of course, I'm participating in it and by association see or talk or read something about it. I do know, from what I’ve heard, that he does wild things, creatively, with his promotion, or rather, he has talent that will do wild, outrageous, extreme things. Hence, Extreme Championship Wrestling. (Oh Warrior, you are so clever.) I suppose the overall wild nature of those wild ideas comes primarily from Mr. Heyman, ECW’s leader. And I will say that I, or anybody else for that matter, could do nothing but admire the risks some guys will take in this business. For example, look at Mick Foley. What he does with his body and well-being is unbelievable and must be respected on a level 99% of us in this business will never comprehend. Point is, I’ve heard that most of the ECW talent conducts themselves in a similar fashion and command, in my book, similar respect.

It goes without saying that if I’ve never met Paul Heyman, then he’s never met me. And, like I know him, he would know me, by word of mouth -- other people’s mouths. In this business, a story of guy picking his nose becomes a story about a guy who wants to pick a fight before the story makes it halfway across the locker room. Point being, we don’t -- can’t -- know one another from the mouths of others.

So let me introduce myself. My name is Warrior, not Jim Hellwig. If that bothers you, that’s your problem, not mine. I say that because people who know I’ve changed my name seem to very often have a problem with referring to me by my name. Again, their problem. I’m a stand up guy. I don’t wrong others, and I don’t want to be wronged myself. I’m a straight shooter in my talk and actions, and I expect the same. If I make a commitment in return for one I expect, I will fulfill mine if I get the one I expect. I don’t work others outside the ring, I expect the same. I’ve acquired a reputation in this business, as no doubt you have. I know of it. I heard it from another’s mouth, as you, more than likely have heard of mine. Mine, misinterpreted as being a guy who’s difficult, comes, truthfully, from being a guy who stands up and speaks out and takes action when he’s been wronged, or even when others have been wronged (ask around). The true one -- it’s one I’m proud to have.

I created, portray, perform and own one of the -- if not the -- most intense colorful, motivating, energizing personas in the wrestling industry. You can disagree, but you can’t convince me otherwise. That persona is recognized all over the world. Beneath the facade and the face paint, I am an astute, always “never too smart to learn” businessman who handles the business of Ultimate Creations, Inc., a multitude of projects, all of them Warrior related. Each of them potential moneymakers beyond the ring and all over the world. I have many interests and talents, only but one of them is the aforementioned Warrior as a Sports Entertainer, Prowrestler. I make no apologies for extending my business interests beyond the ring. Those put off by it are the ones with the problem, not me. I am a gracious supporter and endorser of other talented individuals. Those who know me well will tell you I’ve not a jealous, envious or insecure bone in my body, but I will challenge you to be the best you can be, and I expect the same. And if you are one to give less than one beat away from a heart attack in effort and intensity I’ll tell you so. I don’t enjoy being around floaters or slackers. I enjoy working with individuals who want to be the best and give the time and effort to be so.

Different than other mouthpieces express, I don’t have a “put you off” ego. I have an ego with the power to elevate and intensify others to their highest potential, an ego that solidifies a team; and if that “puts you off”, your own confidence and self-esteem is lacking, and that’s your problem, not mine.

To a newly televised, creatively charged iconoclastic wrestling organization such as ECW, a powerhouse character and marketing property like the inveterate Warrior could be the ultimate juggernaut to “leap tall buildings in a single bound” (jump past WCW post haste) and race “faster than a speeding bullet” (hot, hot on the trail of WWF). I am an extremely creative, energizing person. I’m not afraid to possibly take, creatively done, never before switching risks.

Let me end by saying, I don’t do normal deals and I don’t sign generic contracts. In addition, I’ve fought too hard for all my character’s rights to ever -- ever -- even consider, at any price, giving them up. Good Senses in your future endeavors. Bob Ryder has my number. Always Believe, Warrior.

Stay tuned Warriors. More to come by mid-week. Find out what the Warriorman’s been up to and what’s coming here at Warrior Web (a facelift is coming) and beyond. Let's get beyond the updates and get on to the warriorating power of making the most out of our lifes! Find out about Team Warrior, Project Warrior, Book of Warrior (BOW) and what other one-of-a-kind Warrior projects are going to be happening very soon. F-e-e-l the Power!

Always Believe. Man, you have to Always Believe. Warriorman ouuta here for now.

[awesomecooperlove]

Notice who’s doing the talking 👉🏻Delaware Adjutant General Major General Michael Berry.

In every single article where the National Guard are deploying 👉🏻 zero Commander-in-Chief or President or “Biden” mentioned.

Well, that’s what they do in a Military Operation and Continuation of Government ✅

Who gave the Orders to the General?

Well, who’s above the General?

👉🏻 Commander-in-Chief ✅

“Biden’s” NEVER mentioned the words Space Force.

His new Press Secretary recently on video said, “if the Space Force personnel would like to come get to know us, we would welcome that.”

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

For those who have no clue what’s going on…THAT is how sleepy Americans are to hear such a thing and that not make ‘em go 🧐🤔

Space Force is a Department of the Air Force. The Air Force did not give the Air Force One Presidential ride for “Biden” on January 20, 2021.

The Coast Guard is a Department of Homeland Security during Peacetime, they operate UNDER the NAVY during TIMES of WAR.

There’s 2 Helicopter Strike Maritime Squadrons from the United States Navy out of San Diego, California, stationed at Coast Guard Bases in Mobile, Alabama, (major Port) and Miami, Florida, and have been for over two years.

The Marines are a Department of the Navy… the “Men’s Department” as they joke 🤭

The Army and the Navy transferred ALL Communications to the Space Force in August and December 2022 to be under ONE Command.

Who created the Space Force, December 20, 2019?

👉🏻 Donald John Trump.

Who’s the ONLY person who can Federalize the National Guard to Active Duty?

👉🏻 The President.

10 US Code 12406

Who Federalized the National Guard?

👉🏻 Donald John Trump.

In Executive Order 13912 and 10 US Code 1209, in March 2020.

“Biden” extended that EO twice putting the NG Federalized aka Activated until 2024…

👉🏻 Continuity of Government.

They were Federalized because Congress did not have a Resolution for all 9 National Emergencies declared by DJT.

👉🏻 Military Operation to expose RINOS

The ONLY person who can terminate a National Emergency…

👉🏻 President.

All in 50 US Code 34.

Who declared the National Emergencies?

👉🏻 Donald John Trump.

Who gets to terminate those and address the Nation?

👉🏻 Donald John Trump.

That’s ALL Branches not recognizing “Biden” as CIC or President.

Well, that’s because my simple Blueprint formula shows the Laws and Orders that outline the Military Operation and Continuity of Government. 🤓

Too many are still making this way too complicated when our Founders created a Military first…

Might want to listen to the Veterans who know our History plus Military Laws, Orders, Regulations, Codes, and how they pair with Federal Laws, Orders, and Codes.

It’s very FEW of us, but History proves only 8.3% of Population during the whole 9 year Revolutionary War fought… 1.7% a year… that means the other 91.7% were whining, complaining, griping, fussing, arguing, debating, and hiding while a small minority were doing something about it.

As one of the pieces of the Blueprint explains… the Military Justice Act of 2016… Military Laws and Orders and Personnel supersedes ALL things Civil, Laws and Courts.

All it takes is a little reading. It’s very unfortunate certain people still choose Politics over Military Personnel explaining Laws, Orders, Regulations.

But that’s what I’m here for. An appointed time such as this. 🇺🇸

💥💥💥

https://www.wdel.com/news/video-a-salute-and-a-send-off-for-more-than-150-del-army-national-guard/article_c8642a00-9371-11ed-8f2f-1f9487d02f06.html

[callunavulgari]

YEAR-IN-BOOKS | 2022

This was unfortunately the second year in a row that I’ve actually had to decrease my goal on goodreads to actually meet the goal. I decreased it once in August when I realized that I wasn’t going to get anywhere near 80 books by the end of the year, then I had to decrease a second time at the end of November. Very sad.

Nevertheless, I did churn through a total of 54 books, on track for my goal of at least 55 by the end of December. I think that next year I will be setting my sights low, just so I can pleasantly surprise myself if I exceed rather than have to decrease.

1. a book you loved?

I think that my all time favorite book this year was A Prayer for the Crown-Shy by Becky Chambers. Now, Becky writes some solid literature. I have never once been disappointed by one of her works. But the Monk and Robot series seized onto this soft human part of me and just twisted until I leaked. They’re gorgeous little books that make you feel things about your place in the world, make you feel things about the nature of being human. If I could only recommend one author for the rest of time, it would be her. 

“You don’t have to have a reason to be tired. You don’t have to earn rest or comfort. You’re allowed to just be.” < This quote, from Prayer goes hand in hand with the quote from her previous book in the series that I waffled on about last year. The foundation of this entire premise is laid on these quotes, that you don’t need to do anything special to be human. You’re allowed to just be you. Be at peace. That’s enough. And I just really needed to hear that these last two years.

2. a book you hated?

Probably The Summer Place by Jennifer Weiner. I’d been hyped up for it, which was probably the first problem. The main character was so astoundingly selfish that I closed the book after the first 40 or so pages and never picked it back up again. It doesn’t help that they brought the pandemic into it and like? I’m sorry, but too soon. I don’t want to read about the effing pandemic when I’m still being forced to live in it. It’s ongoing and the last two years were effing traumatic. Don’t make it a plot point.

3. a book that made you cry?

I mean, obviously I got super weepy over A Prayer for the Crown-Shy, but I just talked about that, so the one that made me weepiest after that was Peter Darling by Austin Chant. 

”This book is for every villain who ever inspired a queer awakening, and for every queer child who ever saw a piece of themself in the enemy.”

Someone posted the above words on twitter earlier this year, which turned out to be the dedication page for Peter Darling. I loved it enough that I went looking for the book and managed to get a hold of it after being on the hold list for my library’s single copy of it for... months? Suffice to say, the book gutted me over and over again. It is absolutely perfect and definitely in my top five this year.

4. a book that made you happy?

Okay, so the Watcher Boys put out a book - Buzzfeed Unsolved Supernatural: 101 True Tales of Hauntings, Demons, and the Paranormal. It would be a great book even if I’d read the physical copy, HOWEVER, I made the glorious decision to purchase the audiobook, and sure enough, Shane Madej and Ryan Bergara narrate. It cracked me up over and over again, and just generally made a shitty week better.

5. the best sequel?

Hmm, I only read a few prequel and morequels this year, but I think of those my two favorites were Nona and The Golden Enclaves. They were both great follow-ups to their previous books and in the case of The Golden Enclaves, an all-together (or mostly) fantastic end to the series. I did love Nona despite thinking I wouldn’t. I loved her so completely that the ending of the book left me legitimately grieving a bit. And my only complaint about The Golden Enclaves is that I think it would have been more satisfying if certain people had stayed dead.

6. most anticipated release for the new year?

Honestly? For the first year I genuinely can’t think of anything coming out next year? I think a whole lot of them have been delayed. But if they are coming out next year, I’m looking forward to the sequel to Dark Rise and the final Locked Tomb novel. I feel like they both may have been delayed until 2024, though?

7. favorite new author?

I finally bit the bullet and took on Samantha Shannon’s incredibly long but equally epic novel The Priory of the Orange Tree. Shannon may not be a debut author, but she is new to me, so it counts. The book exceeded even my wildest expectations. The world-building was fantastic and the characters were fully realized and I absolutely got attached.

Also, Lee Mandelo introduced me to Summer Boys, a book of horror and love and toxicity and it was so perfectly my vibe.

8. favorite book to film adaptation?

I loved the adaptations of Sandman and Paper Girls. Both were fantastic.

9. the most surprising book?

I downloaded the audiobook for The Rise of Kyoshi mostly on a whim, but it was so good. It really delved deep into the existing Avatar worldbuilding and then proceeded to expand on it in all kinds of delightfully grimdark ways that the show never would have been allowed to show off.

10. the most interesting villain?

I mean, obviously Peter Darling is the clear answer here. BUT! The Traitor Baru Cormorant also sort of counts, right? Since she’s basically making herself the villain of her own series to crush an empire?

11. the best makeouts?

Honestly, probably The Love Hypothesis. I ALMOST answered with Ice Planet Barbarians, but that’s not really best executed makeouts, just the horniest. Love Hypothesis is basically a Reylo modern-day AU where they’re both chemists, and you know? It just really worked for me.

12. a book that was super frustrating?

If it wasn’t The Summer Place, it was Dial A For Aunties, which was the only other book that I did not finish. I wanted to like it so, so bad, but I just couldn’t suspend my disbelief long enough to keep up with the pretense of her dumb decisions. I know it’s a staple of romcoms, but it hurt too much for this one. 

13. a book you texted about, and the text was IN CAPSLOCK?

I think I ranted to Nick about a couple of them, but I don’t have enough book friends.

14. a book for the small children in your life?

I don’t think I read any books appropriate for small children this year. Actually, I lied. There was this really sweet one that our local park told in small increments as you go along the trail - Over and Under the Pond.

15. a book you learned from?

I literally only read fiction this year.

16. a book you wouldn’t normally try?

I don’t know. I think all of the books that I read this year were pretty on brand, to be honest.

17. a book with something magical in it?

A Lesson in Vengeance was very spooky and witchy with a generous helping of dark academia. I believe it was the first book I truly loved this year.

18. the best clothes?

Definitely either The Priory of the Orange Tree or The Jasmine Throne.

19. the most well-rounded characters?

Either Siren Queen by Nghi Vo, or The Traitor Baru Cormorant. Every single one of those characters - but especially the main ones - know exactly who they are.

20. the best world-building?

The Priory of the Orange Tree. 100%. That book was a masterpiece.

21. the worst world-building?

Eh, the world building I feel like was okay in most of them. The ones that I didn’t like I generally hated because of the characters.

22. a book with a good sidekick?

Casey Mcquiston has a talent for writing compelling side-characters, and spoilers, she’s still great at it. I Kissed Shara Wheeler had several really well-built side characters that I genuinely gave a shit about.

23. the most insufferable narrator?

I made the mistake of getting The Lost Metal in audiobook form, and it’s the same narrator who did The Stand. He is very, very dry.

24. a book you were excited to read for months beforehand?

I’ve been really looking forward to reading A Restless Truth, but I’ve been too effing busy. Other than that, your usual suspects. Maggie’s third and final Dreamer novel, the third and final Scholomance novel. A Prayer for the Crown-shy.

25. a book you picked up on a whim?

Hmm, I think maybe Notorious Sorcerer? His red coat reminded me of Kell from A Darker Shade of Magic. It was a great book.

26. a book that should be read in a foreign country?

All of them? Book Lovers was a good summer/beach read.

27. your favorite cover art?

I actually really loved the cover art for The Ones We Burn.

28. a book you read in translation?

I don’t think any were.

29. a book from another century?

I don’t think any of them were written in another century, but a couple of them took place in another century. Does that count?

30. a book you reread?

Wow, I don’t think I reread ANY this year. Maybe I should remedy that and go reread The Captive Prince series for the fifth time.

31. a book you’re dying to talk about, and why?

I feel like this question should be further up the list. I thought for sure that I’d touched on them all, but turns out I was wrong! Nettle and Bone was a lovely little dark fairytale. From the ingredients in the spells to the depth of all the characters, I genuinely enjoyed this book, far far more than the last Kingfisher novel I’d read.

[scottishaccentsareawesome]

I posted 5,226 times in 2022

1,055 posts created (20%)

4,171 posts reblogged (80%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@textbooksarcasm

@justaleapoffaith

@castielxdawnchester

@robiinbuckley

@daughter-of-infinity

I tagged 4,662 of my posts in 2022

Only 11% of my posts had no tags

#0 - 275 posts

#incorrect quotes - 726 posts

#mcu - 505 posts

#top gun maverick - 477 posts

#icemav - 411 posts

#top gun - 376 posts

#harringrove - 284 posts

#hangster - 252 posts

#stranger things - 240 posts

#hangaroo - 216 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#i didn't even know 911 had a found-father-son relationship in it when i started getting obsessed but i am so glad now that i got obsessed!!!

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

GUYS WE COULD ACTUALLY GET THIS NOW

1,279 notes - Posted September 30, 2022

#4

Bruce(at dinner): Tim, why are you looking away from everyone while you're eating? Is there a butterfly in here, and it's making you mad?

Tim: No, Bruce, I'm mad at a certain brother!

Bruce(in a Tone, to Jason): Jason...

Dick: Whoa, why do you assume it was Jason?

Bruce: It was you?

Dick: No, it was Jason.

1,418 notes - Posted August 11, 2022

#3

Maverick: I've been where you are.

Rooster: Struggling to prove yourself as a naval aviator, yeah, I know.

Maverick: No, I meant being in love with an asshole in your Top Gun class.

1,536 notes - Posted September 19, 2022

#2

I just realized that Cinderella and the Prince are perfect for a Fake Dating/Fake Engagement AU.

They’d meet at the ball...

Prince: “Oh wow, you’re beautiful...”

Cinderella: “Thanks, but I’m not interested. I’m just here to have a good time and get away from being a slave to my stepmother and stepsisters for a while.”

Prince(thinks about how his dad is pressuring him to find a fiance): “...Just how badly do you wanna get away from your stepmother and stepsisters...?”

1,933 notes - Posted July 1, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

After Iceman’s funeral, Slider was contacted by Ice’s attorney to come into his office, as he had some personal property that Ice had left Slider in his will.

Emotional over the loss of his friend, as well as curious about what he might have left him (his dog tags? No, he would have left those for his family. Money? No, Ice wouldn’t leave him money...) Slider arranged to come into the attorney’s office a couple days later to receive his inheritance from Ice.

After he entered the man’s office, and introduced himself, shook his hand, was told “I’m sorry for your loss”, etc. the attorney handed him a plain white envelope.

Confused, Slider turned the envelope over in his hand. It was standard letter-size, sealed, with no odd bulges indicating anything other than paper was inside. And on the front, written in pen, in Iceman’s handwriting, were the words “For Admiral Ron Kerner.”

So Slider opened the envelope, and pulled out a single piece of folded white paper.

He unfolded the paper, and read...

“Dear Slider,

  You get Maverick.

Love,

        Ice”

People outside in the hallway all stopped when they heard a sudden, loud yell:

“...GODDAMNIT...!”

2,010 notes - Posted September 17, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[writerobscura]

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October is my favorite month for many reasons. One, I’m Polish. Two, I’m a Halloween fanatic. Three, autumn is glorious—I could go on.

I’ve tapped out 29 chapters of the TL&TO, and I’m still having fun with it. I think that might be a new record. Only nine chapters are edited to capacity (I won’t touch them again), but what a great high it is to keep creative focus and stay on a production track.

My numbers (included are numbers from syndicated platforms):

Bear House: 213 re-subscribed, with 194 returning every update. Tapas: 47 Subscribers with 8 returning every update. Archive of Our Own: 6 Bookmarks with 12 returning every update. Pixiv: 7 Bookmarks with 7 returning every update.

Bear House: Back in August, I purged most subscribers to ascertain who actually reads, as opposed to bot accounts skirting WordPress security and ninja bloggers seeking hits with comments and ‘likes, ‘ none of which are visible on my posts. Engagement with the work (and not the site itself) is my goal for this web serial, and many subscribers attached to Femitokon weren’t reading TL&TO.

Overall, I was highly satisfied with how many people came back. Since redesigning the site with the ‘Fictioneer’ theme, which looks and feels like an eReader (readers can choose text size, line width, fonts, etc.), I’ve been getting about 1-2 new subscribers a month.

I don’t promote much on the other platforms. I announce chapter updates on Insta, Tumblr, and Facebook with a Linktree link, and I tap out the occasional post at the Tapas Forums. I’m not happy with the Tapas numbers because most are clearly reciprocity subs from other writers who are not interested in reading my series.

I couldn’t understand why they would do this until I learned that Tapas doesn’t allow creators to earn ‘ink’ until they reach a certain number of subscribers + likes. Ouch. I continue posting there because I sub to a few series and read when possible – but it’s no longer my priority.

My impetus for syndicating at Tapas when I began writing TL&TO was the opportunity to purchase promotional space from them for my series. I planned to get about fifteen chapters in before ‘advertising,’ but Tapas did away with this feature about four months into my posting there.

AO3 completely caught me off guard. My fanfic always did well there because it’s AO3, but posting original work and expecting readers is like watching hair grow – or so I thought. Femitokon bombed there – ZILCH – no readers, but TL&TO boasts twelve regular readers, and my Kudos counts are ridiculously high for what is an original work. The AO3.gay mirror brings a large percentage of those numbers, and I hope it keeps growing.

Pixiv, like AO3, is a haven for fanfic and fan art, so my expectations remain grounded. I’m chuffed that seven English-reading users return every update, though, like many Tapas readers my story attracts, they’re the sort that doesn’t ‘HEART’ chapters as proof they’ve read it.

Bear House gets much more traffic with the Fictioneer theme, and my focus in the future is promoting TL&TO there over the syndicated platforms. Comments and conversations are private by choice of the commenter (I love that!), and reader engagement has so far been positive for me.

I still get the occasional ‘If you make this into a comic, I will read it.’ Ugh. My comics days are over because too much attention from strangers brings out the worst in me.

Would I be open to it? Sure, but would I take part in promoting it? NOPE. I learned my lesson from the past – too much attention brings out my toxic side. If you’re an artist who wants to turn TL&TO into something sequential, have at it. Just mention my name in passing, and keep me credited as the writer – anyone gives you crap about it, direct them here.

[jonathankatwhatever]

It’s still 16 August 2024. Have been translating O notation. Going well once I realized log is base2, meaning it’s K’ing. I can thus see why 3logn is worse than 2 or just logn.

I took a train to the subway to a crowded bus to a plane to a train to a bus to a rideshare. That was enough.

Remember: a gs Between existences, like a gs from corner to corner. And make clear: this draws in two forms, the 1Space and the 0Space. The 1Space is Triangular while the 0Space is real, meaning real numbers. That certainly meshes with the idea that real numbers are constructed.

Continuing 17 August 2024. Having severe stomach cramps and gas. Hope I’m not sick, that it’s a systemic reaction to changes within me which expresses itself this way. Hard to tell.

I realized some of the greater depth in twin primes. To be blunt, I started thinking about you as a twin and how twins don’t need to be identical, since they’re split off either before or after the egg physically, but also because a prime is a Thing, an object which consists of all the relations which can be drawn over itself, as those respond to the count of this prime. This can be reduced to two cases: where choice occurs before and after. The form of choice which completes the context, which thus determines the outcome, can be preset or postset. The latter means the completion is hidden from view, at least typically, until it happens. In there is the drama of competition: the actual completion occurs as the event occurs, which means a bunch of different alternative existence threads have generated in anticipation. That happens naturally as you take a step, because the K’ing is win or lose, yes or no, and you can then see how a yes becomes a no and so on, how what you think is the correct choice is not.

Why did I go off in that tangent? I hit yes or no and then saw that’s a branching inherent in taking a step. Oh, the step is across a grid square! Why? Because grid squares are constructed out of Triangular, and that layers 1Space over 0Space. Each step and choice is a branching, because the identity being described, the existence or object or Thing being described, forms in D3-4Space, in gsSpace, as these count across the grid square to the End which represents that identity.

There’s a lot in that. Immediately appears: like a shot to the heart because that End represents identity, not only of a Thing but of all the relations to other Things. Then you can see what’s lost: all the threads, the permutations of what will not be in D3-4Space generate in the larger conception of gsSpace. They accompany you, an albatross in gsSpace. See the use? The albatross is D4-3; its existence does not resolve to D3-4. There’s a block, meaning it can’t rotate to fit because a requirement of D3-4 existence is that it resolves completely across D3-4Space, that it is consistent, coherent and persistent. Wow, those old terms. Let’s see what happened in the meantime: persistence is that it exists without unexplainable gaps, while consistent is that any changes in it’s existence make sense, that we’re not just taking snapshots of something that’s maybe not the same thing each time but more whatever flew in front of the camera. And coherence is that it exists in a field of such existences, and that this field is local, meaning larger fields are made of smaller ones so we scale the concept of local to be more to the conception of an enclosing set or universe.

A universe can be compared to a prime because there’s a barrier, a Boundary which defines that prime from all else. So there are operations within a prime and operations over a prime. Example of the latter would include division, like into prime factors. That can be read as just the value, but it’s also the character of the prime, which the prime is seen as having other properties, like it’s a group or set endowed with certain inalienable rights. That popped into my head because this does devolve into individuals under a government or authority, and fit.

Before I forget, the depth in twin primes is that Triangular counts that as the minimum rendering of 1Space. The 1-0-1 form is 0-1-0. That can be seen as Triangular by mentally pushing those around a bit, and as a gs if you split the middle 1 into 2, with the 1 in back not visible straight on, meaning the other 1 is in szK, which then projects across a grid as Triangular over gs. Is that clear? The count of a prime projects onto the gs grid as szK, as the count over those regular squares of 0Space. I’ve been trying to get that out for days. Felt good.

Twin forms, paired over the Boundary generated by the concept of ‘over’, of distance, of potentially not being the same but together constituting a whole not only backwards but forwards, which matters because actual D3-4Space generates forwards. The concept of pairing exists in the model of 2 Things connected at a tangent, which means over a 1-0Segment, which invokes the counting methods of gsProcess like SBE and fCM. Literally renders down to decision in the moment, especially if you scale moment.

This is also why the speed of causality is limited to light speed: the photon carries information and that information takes meaning in this universe, which is 0Space, because it forms a pairing when it collides with something. And when it is created. And when photos scatter, the same as when pigeons do, down to how the event spread through the flock. The depth in images. In words. When these hit your eyes, they carry meaning to you from me, from my fingers processing how I resolve the ideas we work on together so you can take that feedback and adjust your processing and thus we communicate. And this is done in flashes and sometimes in continuous light, but it’s not repeating a loop to count significance; it’s what is touched which attaches, which is sensitive to that touch so it develops a response within you.

I think if I were making an AI brain, I’d definitely want a pairing within a Triangular, meaning like with the image of the High Council in my head, the way the table presented me with a visible persona near me and no matter what the persona that was how they represented themselves, meaning I could not see their thoughts, just the voices of the ones nearer who thus spoke closer to what I was hearing, which meant they were saying things which manifest reasonable pathways to me, even if those pathways were unimportant in the decision. I remember realizing that as it happened, after I had an argument over the finality of the decision. Why let me hear what they’re not going to do? Because those voices render close to the surface of the Boundary, close to this point or End where the Triangular attaches.

I’m going to try to get some sleep. It’s 8AM and I’ve mostly been up since about 4.

Oh, to complete the twin prime a bit more. They’re primes, meaning 1’s, so the model is not huge number prime, then skip a huge number, then another huge number prime. It’s 1-0-1. The identity is twin because it counts back and forth over the non-prime Between. As long as the counting processes within the prime make it prime, then it is a 1. As long as the number Between is not prime, it’s a 0.

Thought about LayerView: so count over L9? In one sense, why not? The space of 1-0-1 runs from 7-11 with the 0 representing 8-9-10. We covered that idea in an earlier discussion of twin primes, that the represent the fundamental identity, so you need a reason to stop doing that rather than a reason to ask whether it continues. Not when we’re counting 1-0-1. Can the gap become so large, it can’t snap back? Seriously? It’s a finite gap in an infinite series. Doesn’t matter.

[bluedalahorse]

The Saraugust tag on AO3 and other thoughts

I track saraugust on AO3. I know I talk about what their fanfic landscape looks like a lot, so I wanted to mention the actual numbers. There are about 90 fics tagged Sara Eriksson/August Horn of Årnäs on AO3, in a fandom that’s currently sitting at about 5000 works. Of those 90 fics:

The vast majority of them are fics focused on another pairing, with summaries that hint of Sara/August comes up it’s because it’s mentioned, and not a developed subplot.

Of the ones focused on another pairing, handful of these focus on another pairing including either Sara or August (e.g. Sara/Felice or August/Vincent) and include Sara/August because it’s part of the backstory. Fair enough!

Some of the fics that do include Sara/August include it just to sink it or make it tragic. (Admittedly this includes two of my own fics; I have a goal of writing them with a more hopeful ending in the future but we’re not there yet until we finish grad school. And I’m a slut for tragedy so I can deal with a tragic take on their relationship. That said, I have also discovered mean-spirited fic among the stuff that purports to be tragic, which I feel less good about.)

A small number of fics include a kink that is Not My Kink enough that it’s a squick for me. While I’m a firm believer in trying almost anything, I feel the polite thing to do with squicks is to salute the author from afar but also not read the fic myself. YKINMKATO, as we used to say in the old days.

The remaining handful of Sara/August fics are fics I have already read or written.

So when I call sargust or saraugust a rarepair, I promise I’m not just being dramatic and whiny. I mean I am a bit, but ;) I know there are pairs that are rarer, that don’t actually get canon screentime. I probably can’t complain too much, because my imagination is active enough that I write fics for the characters in my head, and those would also be written to my tastes. So you know, I manage.

On a pure level of fandom sociology, relatively independent of my own feelings, this fascinates me. I had initially assumed that Sara and August would pick up some kind of organized following after season 2. They kind of fit an archetype that a portion of fandom kids go wild for (the reylo/darklina/delena/chair/dramione/zutara/hopefully you know what I mean by now archetype) but they also kind of… don’t fit that at all? I didn’t expect (or want!) anything that pervasive and juggernaut-ish, goodness no, but given the sort of “nostalgic for livejournal era fandom” quality of YR’s writing and its appeal to people of many ages, I thought Sara and August might pick up some “I shipped [whatever pairing] back in the day and this made me nostalgic for it but I also want to think a little more deeply about it than I did in the past” fans. I figure Wilhelm and Simon were picking up those kinds of fans, too—the way they are written also makes me nostalgic for a certain era of fanfiction, and part of what I like about wilmon is that chance to feel nostalgic but also to reflect on some of the power dynamics at hand. Especially after season 3, I see both ships as ones I approach with my critical lenses nearby.

Anyway. The show is making commentary on and deconstructing the notion of a bad boy crush (that has to be true, given August’s “award” at third year dinner and how much he wants to reject it) but it’s also leaning into the earnestness of Sara’s feelings. Lisa’s approach to writing that fascinated me and drew me in—it felt so much more raw and honest than leaning into a bad boy fantasy entirely without questioning it, or on the other side of things, rolling one’s eyes at the fantasy and saying “of course we’re too enlightened for this, unlike the Other Girls.” I never really had a full-on reylo/darklina/delena/chair/dramione/zutara/whatever era growing up—well, ok, I was into Devil’s Minion back before it was cool and the Vampire Chronicles was only books, maybe that counts even though it’s m/m? Maybe reading Jane Eyre counts? Idk. I am not like the other girls but I am exactly like the other girls. We are both at once.

But maybe, Sara and August are also sort of sitting in this uncanny valley, and that uncanny valley puts a lot of people off. I love that about them and I’ve built myself a house here and been very comfortable, but one day I poked my head outside the window and gone, “my goodness! We sure are in an uncanny valley. Why do I have so few neighbors?”

And I also can’t ignore the bullying anon (and not anon) comments I’ve seen out there in the internet wild, and the role they play in discouraging people from writing fic/making edits/etc. The general consensus is that YR fandom is very nice and I have seen that, but I have also seen times when it isn’t. In any fandom, there are outside forces that shape AO3 numbers.

Incidentally, bestie @coruscantrhapsody and I have discussed it a lot. She is in Star Wars fandom and is a huge Anidala shipper, and sees some similar trends in the Anidala tag. There’s more fics there of course, because Star Wars is a much much bigger fandom, but proportion-wise, she sees similar trends in that Anidala will be tagged in a lot of fics but will not actually feature. (Many of the fics are Codywan or maybe Obikin or something.) Plus there is also a fair amount of discourse (TM) around like, being an Anidala shipper means you’re somehow brainwashed by hetero trad patriarchy or something.

(Why do we always assume that shipping an m/f pairing makes you brainwashed by the heterosexual patriarchy? I’m queer, about 80% of the art I like is queer queer queer—that’s how I found YR after all—god forbid the pairing my brain fixates on in that show is m/f! I’m not going to call them straight because hey, do we really know that? We don’t.)

Anyway. I’m thinking about all this today because today marks the beginning of my graduate school work, and outside of Heart and Homeland there will be no more work on fics until mid January. I’m hoping I’ll be able to pick up my saraugust fics again, so I can at least put my money where my mouth is and write what I want to read, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to do that for sure, and I’m also not sure if I have more than one fic in me. And that… kind of makes me a little bit sad. So I just wanted to acknowledge that I’m feeling sad about the fics I’ll probably only get to daydream about and never write, and about other fics by other people that I would have loved to read but were probably never written for whatever reason.

So that’s where we are. I’ve made this post unrebloggable and untagged because I don’t want a Big Fandom Discussion or discourse about it. I don’t mind replies and people sharing their thoughts though, as long as:

You don’t tell me you’re sorry I don’t have more fanfic to my liking. I mostly say this because people have very kindly said sorry, and I very much do appreciate the sympathy most days. But today I don’t think I need sympathy so much as willingness to sit with me and analyze what’s going on. I’m in analysis place.

You don’t say something reductive along the lines of “Well actually August sucks!” Because yeah, yeah he does, quite a lot. I am up for discussion of his flaws in a nuanced way but the absolute flattening of him to villainspace is not something I wanna do today either. Fandom also has a time-honored tradition of meaningfully engaging with characters who suck. Writers have a time-honored tradition of meaningfully engaging with characters who suck. It’s one of the things that we do! You know, as people.

So anyway those are my thoughts. Thank you for reading this far! Would appreciate the thoughts of others who are up for it.

[g-kat423]

I'm glad that you've eaten, but your girl dinner is making me a bit concerned, but you did say you're not really that hungry, but I'm worried you will be later, but you said you'd be making breakfast by then, so I guess it's all good, unless your breakfast is another few pieces of salami and a handful of grapes...

I appreciate the concern, but the end of this message is coming off as a bit passive aggressive. Forgive me if you didn’t mean it that way, it’s hard to interpret the tone of text on its own.

Trust me, I eat enough. More than enough most days.

A general trigger warning for eating disorders and calorie counting. I feel it’s necessary to explain myself so people can understand where I’m coming from. Gonna put this under a read more

Before waking up and having the salami and grapes, I had around 1700 calories. I am an avid MyFitnessPal user and I haven’t gone a day without it apart from my inpatient stint in august of 2022 where I wasn’t allowed a phone. Even if I didn’t eat, that’s a perfectly fine amount of food for someone who is going on 31 years old and isn’t all that active due to chronic health issues.

I won’t deny my history of having an eating disorder. I’m not currently diagnosed(originally diagnosed with anorexia at 17 and later bulimia which became my main struggle for years), but if I did speak to a professional, I’d likely be diagnosed with OSFED or nothing at all because my weight and behaviors don’t currently match up with any anorexia subtype or bulimia since I no longer purge(apart from one slip up back in December which was the first time I had purged in 2 years).

Currently, my focus is on maintaining a certain weight range and curbing binge eating behaviors so I’m less likely to engage in harmful compensatory behaviors like severe restriction/fasting/purging.

When my health took a nose dive in 2022, I already wasn’t in the best place. My weight was the highest it had ever been because I had gotten into a horrible habit of comfort eating during the worst of the pandemic. It was the only vice I had. I lost weight pretty rapidly over the course of may 2022-may 2023 because I kept getting worse and instead of seeking comfort through food, I sought control in the only way I could, my weight. I couldn’t control my pain, I couldn’t control that doctors wouldn’t listen to me, but I could control how much food did or didn’t go into my body. I reached my lowest adult weight ever and likely would have gotten to a dangerous point, but by some miracle a doctor finally listened and I was able to get my pain under control. I had the desire to live and eat again. I needed the fuel to go on the walks I was so excited to be able to do again. I gained up to a healthier weight where I was active/energetic and able to maintain that for months, but then the combination of my surgery and the holidays, I fell back into comfort eating. While I’m still a healthy weight, I am not as lean as I’d like to be. I was much happier in the body I had over the summer because I was skinny, but in a healthy way for my height/age. I’m looking to get back to that so it really doesn’t hurt me to eat in a deficit, in fact that’s my secondary goal to curbing the urge to overeat.

TL;DR

I do have a history of an ED but I don’t feel at risk for a full blown relapse. I’m also not one of those people who can eat intuitively. Even when I had outpatient treatment for my ED, while I initially didn’t track calories, I had a structured meal plan. The reality is, If I want to maintain a certain weight, I have to track my calories because when I don’t, I always default back to overeating and binge eating behaviors. I’ve accepted that that’s just how it’s going to be for me because binge eating to obesity, which I did, was just as unhealthy for me as starving myself down to underweight. There’s also diabetes in my family and heart disease on top of my own health issues like POTS and the likely connective tissue disorder so it’s best I stay on top of things and strive for controlled eating habits and a leaner physique.

[inner--islands]

Ashan & Inner Travels in Conversation (November 2019)

In August of 2019, Ashan and Inner Travels released albums (Transfigurations and Nature Spirit, respectively) on Inner Islands. Throughout the last couple months the two have had an on-going email dialogue about their new releases and the creative process in general. Ashan is Sean Conrad, who also runs Inner Islands and releases under the Channelers moniker. Inner Travels is the work of Steve Targo, who has been releasing a stream of incredible synthesizer, keys, and field recording-based output for the last 5+ years and has been consistently releasing with Inner Islands since 2016. The flow of the following conversation has been slightly edited for ease of reading.

Ashan: Hey there Steve, I would like to start by saying what a pleasure it’s been to work with you over the last few years. And it’s been a joy watching the Nature Spirit album take shape and come to life. I know this project started in quite a different state. How did the final vision for the album come to you and what was your process in realizing it?

Inner Travels: Sean, it has been such a blessing to work with someone as kind, patient and understanding as you! It means a great deal that you enjoyed watching Nature Spirit grow, since you were instrumental in its creation. So was Jason C, who asked me to make a mix for his radio show in Seattle. That’s how this started. I wanted to use the opportunity to showcase my unreleased music, so I picked 4 songs and shared them with you. Much to my surprise, you wanted to release them! That’s when I began to think about the music in album terms. Lately, I’ve been making music without much thought as to what I’m going to do with it. As you probably know, of those songs I shared with you, “Babble” is only one on Nature Spirit. That’s because I felt it went so well with “Forest,” another song I had and didn’t know what to do with. Now I had one side of a tape. I recorded more music specifically for Nature Spirit, which is how “Calm After the Storm” was born. Musically, the album was complete. But I spent a great deal of time on the nature sounds – mixing various field recordings together to create scenes. As the album was developing, I discovered and completely fell in love with Takatoshi Naitoh’s In the Forest. Its structure inspired me so much! About 5 minutes of forest sounds, then a song. Then another lengthy section of forest sounds, and another song, more forest sounds. … Usually, I hear nature recordings with music one of two ways – as a 1-2 minute interlude or playing throughout the entire duration of an album. Giving nature sounds more time to be heard on their own – no music – appealed to me greatly. It made me think more about how the field recordings relate to the music.

Ashan: Yes! I absolutely love how the field recordings get their own spotlight on the album. What was your process like for gathering the field recordings? Do you come across a spot that has a great sound and you think you’d like to go back there later with a recorder? Or is it more spontaneous?

Inner Travels: Usually, I’ll bring a recorder where I think I might hear some nice nature sounds, like to a park or a trail. Sometimes I just open a window when it rains and hit record! But it is a challenge to get more than a minute’s worth of nature sounds without being interrupted by the sounds of passing motor vehicles. Most of the field recordings on Nature Spirit are edited, or they are collages of several recordings from different places — by a creek, in a forest, different thunderstorms mixed together. I wanted to leave machines out of the nature sounds, but I also wanted to try designing my own climate or landscape.

Ashan: I haven’t researched it too much, but from what I’ve read Irv Teibel used a similar process of combining elements of field recordings for his Environments series to make these fantasy versions of nature without certain undesired human-centric sounds. What is appealing to you about designing your own environments and landscapes? I think that fantasy can be a powerful tool in getting a different perspective on the mundane reality. Do you experience that at all?

Inner Travels: Generally speaking, the appeal lies in taking the listener on a journey and having some kind of positive impact on that person. Both are equally important. Additionally, on Nature Spirit, I wanted to have the sounds of the woods that I remember from when I was a child. The woods around here are much quieter today, and smaller, so I applied techniques to achieve that goal. It is fantasy — you’re right — but it is rooted in my own reality, as I remember it, anyway. How did your new Ashan album, Transfigurations, spring to life?

Ashan: The pieces that make up Transfigurations were made during the same creative arc that also produced the tracks for Far Drift Afield, which started in November 2017 and probably went until April or May of 2018. All the tracks for both albums were made in a very similar way: choosing sound palettes that appealed to me and then making the elements of the palette intermingle in a complex pattern for a while. I love how organic and “played” it feels though. It feels like I chose the palette and someone else performed it. I’m really into that balance of organization and chaos that drives these pieces.

Inner Travels: “Chaos” is not a word I’d use to describe either album! Did you play the instruments on each song from start to finish? How did they mingle with each other?

Ashan: It’s kind of funny. People might describe something like a Hendrix guitar solo as chaotic, but he’s actually very calculated. And although my work on this album is very mellow, it’s chaotic in a compositional sense because I didn’t decide the sequential unfolding of the pieces. The pieces are all made from grabbing snippets of things (some I played and some I found) and looping them with different loop durations and having them fade in and out at different prescribed intervals. So although I am the one determines the loop and fade lengths, I have no idea what it’s actually going to sound like until I push play. My strongest intention when composing these is the palette of the sound, the rest is what I deem chaotic.

Inner Travels: How did you discover the process you used for Transfigurations and Far Drift Afield? Did you find it easier to create by setting loose loops of intermittent lengths? I’m also curious to know how you chose your sonic palettes for these songs. It sounds like you also have a number of field recordings mingling in the mix.

Ashan: I started this process shortly after I moved, back in the fall of 2017, to a much smaller space and couldn’t leave all my gear set up the way I used to. Everything is always in a case, on shelves, or in the closet. I really love working quickly, so I needed a way to create without having to set up so much stuff. I found a flow recording one or two new elements and sampling the others (both sampling myself and others). I tried making one piece with the various loop lengths (the track “Far Drift Afield”) and thought it sounded really weird. But after a while it kind of grew on me and I made more. There are so many inspirations for this kind of composition: the way cricket sounds phase in and out of each other, the sound of waves, Steve Reich’s “Come Out”, Brian Eno’s generative works, and so much more. The sonic palettes for the pieces came from abstract feelings and images that I wanted to re-create in sound as closely as I could, trying to manifest these imaginations into the realm of sound. These pieces, to me, are almost like sculptures because their makeup is so static. But the sculptures are slowly revealing new facets of themselves because of the temporal aspect and the way the elements of the pieces mingle in time. There are a couple of field recordings on the first two tracks of Far Drift Afield, some rain sounds. But there is some noise in a lot of these tracks that might pass as field recordings, hehe. I sampled from some of my cassette demos and from vinyl for a number of these tracks. I think it’s fascinating that you were working with evoking these memories of the woods from your childhood with your field recordings. Are your recordings from the same woods that you visited when you were growing up? Were you thinking about any particular memories when you were designing these environments? Or was the reference point something more general? And what was the effect for you hearing your memories materialized and encapsulated in sound?

Inner Travels: I feel tranquility in the field recording collages on Nature Spirit. I feel as if the music grows out of these collages, and the two become one sonic entity. So there’s this wholeness to the listening experience for me. And I do feel what it was like going into the woods as a kid, where everything’s new and you pay closer attention to details. I did not record in the woods where I used to play as a child, but I recorded not far from there, at a small forest park. This was the most difficult place in which to collect usable field recordings because of how many vehicles drive past the park every minute or two. Looking back, I might have subconsciously took on the challenge because of its proximity to my old neighborhood. From like the age of 4 to 14, I grew up in a subdivision where there was a wooded area across the street from a playground. To the childhood me, it may as well have been a forest without end. But a few years ago, an old friend and I walked through it all fairly quickly and easily. I think we were taken aback by how small the woods became — or always were. I know I was. Everything seems large when you’re a child. I think, too, that many trees died or fell there over the years, and other developments came into the area.

Ashan: The way that you worked with the field recordings makes me feel like I’m engulfed in this huge wooded area, completely set apart from any human, urban development. For me, I find spaces that are dominated by the presence of non-human life to be super potent. They can be awe-inspiring, beautiful, and definitely ominous sometimes. There is a power there that I’m really attracted to. I feel like your work on this album touches on some of the more benevolent forces that can exist in those spaces.

Inner Travels: Great! I really wanted nature to sound big and kind here. But you’re right, it can be ominous, especially on a large scale. Especially when it’s a thunderstorm, like in the intro to “Calm After the Storm.” But it’s a storm that’s winding down. On Nature Spirit, I tried to make the outside world inviting, so that the listener would want to close their eyes and hear it. Your process, the notion of songs as sound sculptures — it’s all very appealing! Do you find this method of making music easier than other more conventional approaches? Are you still using this approach to make music? If so, will you use it in other projects of yours, like Channelers?

Ashan: I can’t say I find the sound sculpture method any easier than other methods. It’s all just a matter of if I can get into a groove while working with the sounds. The pieces that I think are the best are the ones that are mostly realized in one sitting, or at least the scope of the piece is within sight in the first sitting. I’ve tried making some more pieces with this process, but none of them have really turned into much. At the moment, I’m trying to keep the Channelers project more rooted in live instrumental performance. The Ashan work over the last few years has been more about electronic, computer-based approaches. Do you think you would be able to translate some of your Inner Travels pieces to a live setting? I would love to see you do a live set one of these days.

Inner Travels: I am grateful that you want to hear me play live. Honestly, I never have. I would like to play an Inner Travels set someday. The right opportunity still has to present itself. Once it does, sure, I think I could translate my music live. But right now, my focus continues to be on recordings. That’s where I feel my music has the deepest effect.

Ashan: I hope I’m there for one of your performances, if they ever happen :)

Inner Travels: Oh that would be wonderful! I hope you are, too. It would be nice to meet. You have played live before, right? What do you enjoy most about it? How do you translate your music when you perform? I’m especially interested in how you would handle performing Transfigurations and your other recent albums.

Ashan: I’ve played out and toured a fair bit over the years, but within the last few years I’ve felt similarly to you: that my work perhaps has a deeper effect on record than live. But I definitely think there can be something powerful about the live experience, especially if the space and the sound system both support the vision of the music. I think the power of the work can grow in magnitude if these factors are considered. Trying to do this kind of music at a bar venue with a poor sound system that has little clarity in the high mids and highs is really just a recipe for disaster, haha. It’s just not good for anyone involved. But when these things are taken care of I feel like the music can be much more immersive. Because the sound is coming out of larger speakers than one usually uses at home, the physicality of the sound resonates both in the architecture of the space and in one’s body more. I think it’s actually a powerful role to be in as the person in charge of the sound in the room. There’s definitely some responsibility there as to what you, as the performer, are choosing to bring into the space and into people’s bodies. When done mindfully, I think it can be a really positive experience.

Inner Travels: Although I haven’t performed music live, I have DJed weddings and parties. It is a different world, but to a probably much lesser extent, I have felt that responsibility of being the person in charge of the sound of the room. I say lesser because no musical performance was required of me, nor was I ever playing my own music. I used to DJ before I started making music. But when music resonates in one’s body, that is such a special thing. I would like to experience that with my own music someday — and yours, for that matter. You are right, I completely agree with what you say about how positive it can be to perform.

Ashan: If I was going to try to perform the new Ashan pieces, I would definitely need to use my laptop with Ableton Live. Nothing about that work is really playable on an instrument. Lately, I prefer to play my Channelers material live because the recordings themselves have more of a basis in improvisational instrumental performance. Some pieces just kind of lend themselves more to a live setting, so I’ll just focus on those more. I’ll often use my dulcimer, a synth, a sampler, and some effects.

Inner Travels: Do you improvise then, when you play as Channelers? I’m also curious if you use field recordings live? Your nature sounds are immaculate on the upcoming Channelers album!

Ashan: Yeah, there is always a framework and there are always elements of improvisation in a Channelers set. I want things to feel dialed in to a certain degree, but to have enough freedom to explore and be in the moment with my playing. When I haven’t had as much improv in my sets, I have felt like I’m performing in a box and the set lacks a certain vitality. A lot of your pieces feel like they contain long, unbroken improvised takes. Is that actually a method you use often? Or is there actually a lot of editing behind the curtain?

Inner Travels: The answer to both questions is yes. I make up one part, say a rhythm or a melody, then I build over the top of that. I try to play long, too, until I get bored. I play it, record it, go over it later, edit if I feel the need. I’d say some of the most edits I’ve ever made in a song was on Nature Spirit. A lot of parts were cut out of “Forest.” Sometimes it felt as if all the keyboard parts were just talking over each other without listening, like when people argue, haha! But all the songs on the album had things removed. Some improvisations just didn’t work. When I create music, I make it up as I go. Sometimes, better ideas about composition present themselves at the mixing phase. Like on “First Light (Part 2),” all the elements were played over each other when I recorded it. It was a straight river of sound. But while soloing each track, I thought it might make more sense to start out with one sound, then gradually fade the other tracks into the mix. So I carved out the arrangement after the fact. Did you ever have that experience? How much of your music on tape is improvised and edited?

Ashan: Improvising and editing is definitely my go-to as well for recording on the computer - being as free as possible and then just grabbing the best moments. Recording on tape is a different animal though. There are almost never any edits to my tape works (Arden Tapes, Space Makes Clearing, Faces of Love, Slow Leaf Spell). I’ll just do another take if a part isn’t up to scratch. And there are often elements of improvisation in all of those, but the frameworks are almost always laid out beforehand. Then the final mixes are made in the tape machine and digitized/crystallized. What do you have planned for Inner Travels going into 2020? Any releases or collaborations on the horizon?

Inner Travels: There is an album that I have been working on since 2017 which I hope to finally finish by early next year. Also I will probably release the music that I did give Jason C for his radio show. I am involved in a couple collaborations. I’m not sure I go into great detail about them, other than I’m truly excited about them! My hope is to finish both of these projects next year as well. Speaking of collaborations, I loved your Skyminds tape with Michael from earlier this year! What about your plans for 2020?

Ashan: Excellent! I’m excited for more folks to hear those pieces you gave to Jason C. And I’m looking forward to the unveiling of the collaborations you have going and the album that’s been in the works! Thanks for the kind words on the Skyminds album :) We’re planning to release our follow-up early next year! And we’re also hoping to get a couple more things out throughout 2020. I also have a Channelers album that will probably come out on Inner Islands in the spring - the latest round of tape pieces, which has been an ongoing project since 2017. And who knows what else! Things always seem to reveal themselves through the year ;)