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so-long-soldier-writes · 1 year ago

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One of Those Days

poly!mikaelsons x reader | request

summary: between the constant fighting and city clamor, you're overstimulated from the minute you wake up. you try to isolate until you feel better, but sometimes, that only makes things worse. luckily, your loving vampire partners are always there for you.

tags: sensory issues, mental health, overstimulation, arguing, mild emotional hurt / comfort

word count: ~2.6k

a/n: requested by @asexualaromosafezone - i am SO SORRY this took me literal months to complete. a couple days ago, i suddenly remembered i never filled it and finished it asap. i hope you like it, and again, so many apologies!

Sometimes, you wake up, and can immediately tell it’ll be a hard day. The sun has barely risen, yet there’s already a million noises coming through your window. Chatters of people having their morning walks, car horns from those too impatient to let them cross, the distant clang of a dropped pot, and-

“REBEKAHHH!”

-Klaus, yelling for his sister. At seven in the morning.

“What the bloody hell are you shouting for?! I’m right here!”

You sigh, glad that mystery solved quickly.

There’s probably a few more minutes until your alarm rings, so instead of getting up a little earlier, you opt to enjoy your last minutes of peace. Though you soon realize that’s impossible, given your circumstances. On top of the city sounds, there’s a bird right outside your window, and when you try to turn away from it, the tag on your blanket itches the inside of your thigh.

“Ugh!” You toss the blanket off.

Your alarm sounds not a second later.

With a slap to your phone and then another to your forehead, you decide to just get ready for the day. Luckily, not much is planned. Marcel still has control over the city, and with you being human, your Mikaelson hosts don’t want you outside at all.

See, you live with the family of original vampires. You used to be a Mystic Falls’ resident, but then after developing a close connection with the siblings, decided to move to New Orleans with them and get a fresh start. You were tired of the small town life, and while the big city can be overwhelming at times, you’ll never get sick of the culture it has to offer. Besides, living with the most powerful family makes you happier than you ever believed you could be.

As much as you love them, though, they can be a pain. Like when Klaus can’t find his sister, but forgets a whisper would summon her just as effectively. Instead, he has to wake up the whole quarter, and inconvenience you with a headache. When you reach the dining room that day, you slump your head on the table.

“Everything alright, darling?” Kol’s voice floats over your head, making you aware of his presence.

“Tired.”

“Is your bed comfortable enough? Do you need more blankets?”

You haven’t been in the city long, and his consideration warms your heart.

“Oh, I’m okay. I’m very comfy. Just haven’t gotten used to the city yet.”

“Ah, I understand.”

His attention drifts to his sister. You busy yourself with a plate of food and ignore how tired you feel. When Elijah sits beside you, you offer a smile, but don’t say anything. The man, polite as ever, does the same. Though while two of the siblings are quiet, the other two aren’t. Klaus and Rebekah are still on the same topic from earlier. They bounce off each other quickly, childish banter turning into an argument.

You try to eat in peace and ignore them, but it’s difficult. And it doesn’t help that you’ve been feeling down lately, anyway. It’s rather unexplainable, the way you feel. Some days you’d rather stay in bed all day than face the world. Your whole body could be begging for you to get up and get things done, but you just can’t. No matter how hard you fight your own mind, sometimes there’s no winning the raging war.

To make matters worse, you’re always hypersensitive when you find yourself in these low moods. Every little thing is overstimulating and there’s no pause button. This morning, you didn’t even get a chance to wake up before the sounds started. (Thanks, Klaus.) You roll your eyes in your head, annoyed.

“Hey.” A poke to your shoulder startles you, making you jump. “You okay?”

“Ooh, you caught me off guard.”

“Sorry,” Kol smiles, “you in deep thought, or rolling your eyes at Klaus’ statement?”

“Uh…” You bite your lip. You were rolling your eyes about Klaus, but missed whatever statement it was that he just made. “What did he say?”

“That he was on his way to have a little chat with Marcel. That will go swimmingly.”

“Oh.” You snort and decide to joke. “Both.”

Kol grins at you, but then, thankfully, leaves you alone again.

After breakfast, you retreat back into your room, not in the mood to face the day. If Klaus is really going to start shit with Marcel, it’ll be an intense day. You’ve never met the current king of the French Quarter, but Elijah’s told stories. Marcel and the family used to be close, but then, like all their other relationships, ties ended drastically.

“But not with you, of course,” he had promised. “You’re our girl.”

You were skeptical for a moment. Who wouldn’t be, knowing the Mikaelsons? But then Klaus approached you from behind with a kiss to your hair and confirmed his brother’s words,

“As long as we have your loyalty, you’ll always have ours.”

You could see the truth in his statement. Everyone who ended up on their bad side had betrayed them in some way. So, as long as you didn’t repeat others’ mistakes; as long as you kept your trust in the family, you would be considered family. And ever since the day you first grew close, you have been their family.

You’re close with all of the siblings. Elijah, first, when you couldn’t take your eyes off him at Damon’s dinner party. Then Rebekah, and then Kol, when he undaggered. Even Finn, before his untimely death - thanks to Matt, your good friend now worst enemy. Klaus took the longest to trust you, and you can’t blame him for having trust issues, but once he realized how much his siblings adored you, he was quick to accept your place with them.

Now, the five of you live together, nine hundred miles from your hometown. It’s certainly a change, but every day with them is an adventure.

Like today, you suddenly think, overhearing Elijah’s footsteps in the hallway. Today has definitely been one of those days.

“Y/N?” He stops outside your door.

“Mhm?”

“Can I come in?”

“Sure.”

Elijah opens the door, but doesn’t fully enter your room. He looks you up and down before smiling. “I just thought you seemed sad earlier and wanted to check on you. Is everything okay?”

“Oh!” You put on a brave face to mask the tiredness you feel internally. “Yeah, I’m just out of sorts today. It’s nothing.”

“Are you sure? Because if someone’s bothering you, that’s something we can take care of.”

“No, no, I promise. It’s all just me. Just having a day.”

“You’re positive?” He asks for confirmation again.

“Have I ever lied to you, ‘Lijah?”

He looks down at his shoes, embarrassed. “No, you haven’t. I apologize for doubting you.”

“It’s okay,” you step closer to him, resting against the door frame. “No need to apologize. But I swear, I just… woke up on the wrong side of the bed or something. New Orleans is a loud city. I’m still adjusting.”

“Okay. Well, call if you need anything. Even the smallest thing.”

“I will.”

“Oh, and be careful in the off-chance that Marcel storms in here. There’s a fight brewing in the quarter.”

“I’ll keep an eye out.”

“Better yet, stay inside for the day. So you’re not in harm’s way at all.”

“Okay, ‘Lijah.”

He smiles at you, then kisses your hand. “Now, I need to neutralize my brother. But I needed to make sure our girl was okay first.”

“She’s okay. Go deal with him.”

Elijah straightens his collar before speeding off to no doubt defend his brother in a fight. You love Klaus, but man, does he get angry. And then from anger, comes pure rage, then absolute chaos. Once situations escalate that far, the whole block better hide if they want to keep their hearts in their chest.

You sigh, thinking of the carnage that may come. You’re not sure you can deal with his anger issues today, especially not coupled with those of Marcel. Of all the days they have to fight, it’s the one that you might snap, too, if he raises his voice one more time.

Suddenly, your bed looks like the perfect oasis away from the mess behind your door. A good pillow over the ears might prevent an impending meltdown. You crawl into it at once and let your body melt into the mattress.

You hadn’t lied to Elijah, though you hadn’t given him the full truth, either. Yes, you are, in general, okay. Not necessarily today, but at that moment, you were. Also yes, you’re not feeling great today, partly because of all the city noise. And, finally, yes, most of it is just you and your body not in the mood to be awake. Though Klaus is contributing, just a little bit, to your mental distress today. Elijah would understand, of course, but then he’d have a talk with his brother about it, and you really didn’t want to burden either of them in that way, so you put on a smile and didn’t mention it. You’d bet Elijah knows the full truth, and knows why you won’t admit it, but he respects you if you don’t want to talk about it. That’s one of the reasons you love him so much.

You get a couple hours of rest until your slumber is interrupted by a new knock on your door. It’s not soft, like Elijah’s, so it must be one of the younger two.

“Oh no,” you mutter, wondering what it must be now.

“Y/N?” Rebekah’s voice comes from the other side. “Are you awake?”

“I am now.”

She opens the door as you reply. “Oh what the bloody hell are you still doing in bed?”

“Sleeping.”

“Obviously! Come watch a movie with Kol and I! We’d love your company.”

“An actual movie, or the public display of violence happening outside in the quarter?”

“We haven’t decided yet!” She grabs your hand. “Come on!”

You yawn. “I’m gonna pass today, I’m not up for it.”

“Awh, Y/N! It won’t be as fun without you!”

“I have a headache, Bex,” you fib.

“Do you want some blood for that?”

“Does that even work like that?”

She shrugs, “not sure.”

You cuddle into your pillow. “Another time, okay?”

The girl smiles, then leans forward to kiss your head. “Okay. If you change your mind, come find us.”

“I will. Thank you.”

“Dinner’s at seven. Will you be there?”

“Yeah,” you promise, “I should be better by then.”

You are not, in fact, better by then. If anything, your foul mood progressed into an actual headache within thirty minutes of Rebekah leaving. Shouts throughout the city managed to penetrate the thin glass of your windows, and you could hear almost everything as Klaus heckled the current king. For hours, it went on, until the sun went down and they assumedly put it off for another day. By seven o’clock, you were able to sneak in another nap, but you still felt way overstimulated from the day’s events.

Not to mention the fact that you spent all day in bed. Sometimes, you’re overstimulated by too much going on, but today you partly did it to yourself by hiding away all day. The guilt of avoiding everyone weighs on your chest. Rebekah had invited you to a movie; Elijah went out of his way to check up on you, and you had more or less dismissed them both. A bitter taste sits in your mouth when you think about it. Water doesn’t wash it out.

Hopefully dinner will.

For the first ten minutes, the night passes peacefully. Most of the conversation is focused between the meal and the movie the two had watched. The events of the day, seemingly, are left in the past.

But then, of course, Kol has to make a comment on something he overheard that he thought was funny. And that set Klaus off into a spewing of anger. He’s pissed at Marcel, but now, also, at Kol for bringing it up. Elijah puts his face in his hands, and Rebekah sends both a huge eye roll.

What was a moment of much-appreciated silence is now a yelling match. After five minutes, you reach your breaking point.

“Why do you feel the need to comment on that, Kol? It was so insignificant, but you’ve felt the need to bring it up, and now I’m reminded of how much Marcel has done to piss me off!”

“I didn’t mean to make you upset, bloody hell! I thought it was funny!”

“It wasn’t funny to me when he was spitting in my face! I-”

“Oh my god! Are you ever not arguing?!” You suddenly shout.

The table goes silent and all eyes are on you. A needle could be dropped and it would be heard across the quarter.

“I’m sorry,” you apologize quickly, embarrassed.

“Love,” Elijah puts a hand on your shoulder, “are you alright?”

At his touch, you flinch. He retracts his hand quickly, but doesn’t move his body away from its proximity to yours.

Klaus, although upset at the interruption, notices this and calms a little. “Everything okay, Y/N?”

“I’m fine. It’s nothing.”

“That little outburst didn’t sound like nothing.”

“I’m just stressed.”

“Darling, what’s got you all upset? Tell us and we’ll sort it out now.”

“It’s no one, Kol, I’m just not feeling well.”

“Still have a headache, sweetheart?” Rebekah asks.

“You have a headache?” Klaus butts in.

The assortment of questions makes you drop your head. It nearly hits the table, but Elijah grabs your frame before you can fall. Tears form in your eyes, visibly.

“I’m just really overstimulated today. I woke up weird and this city is loud, and then there was all the fighting all day long, and then I hid in my room all day, but then I felt bad about hiding, and now I’m making you all worried because I can’t get my shit under control!”

“And that’s your fault, how?” Elijah asks, “you cannot blame yourself for the way you feel.”

“But I need to handle my emotions better. I’m sorry.”

“No apologies necessary, love,” Klaus adds, “I certainly haven’t helped, fighting with children all day.”

“Niklaus,” Elijah warns, but Klaus doesn’t argue with him this time.

“I should’ve stayed with you when you said you had a headache.”

“Don’t blame yourself either, Bex. It’s not your fault.”

“But we could’ve cuddled,” she frowns.

“It’s okay. I got a nap, and it helped a little. I just need to get used to my life being different now. None of you are at fault.”

“Nor are you,” the eldest reminds, “it’s been quite a day for us all.”

Kol clears his throat, “say, after dinner, if you feel up to it, we could all watch a movie and cuddle around you? I think some comfort is much needed.”

“Sure,” you agree, “but I might fall asleep during it.”

“That’s quite alright,” he smiles. He then stands up to hug you, but when his arms wrap around your neck, you freeze.

“Not yet, please. I’m still a bit stressed.”

He gives you a wink. “Of course, darling. Let me know when you’re ready.”

Klaus flicks his napkin across the table. He’s folded it into the shape of a heart. “We love you. You know that, right?”

You take the heart, kiss it, and put it in your pocket. “I do. I love you all, too. Thanks for understanding.”

#poly!mikaelsons x reader #poly!mikaelsons #elijah mikaelson x reader #kol mikaelson x reader #rebekah mikealson x reader #klaus mikaelson x reader #tw mental health #i feel so bad for taking so long on this

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kqutie · 3 months ago

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THE PRINCESS' SEVEN MERCENARIES

CHAPTER ONE : A SWIFT ESCAPE

relations. : cevans various/reader -- steve rogers/reader ; curtis everett/reader ; ari levinson/reader ; lloyd hansen/reader ; andy barber/reader ; jake jensen/reader ; ransom drysdale/reader

chpt. sum. : your stepmother wants you dead but you're able to make a swift escape with the help of the huntsman who was meant to kill you. into the woods you go in search of a new and better life!

tags. : mentions of an assassination attempt ; evil stepmothers being evil ; evil queen being evil ; disney princess reader ; snow white and the seven dwarves au ; fairy tale au ; fluff ; domestic fluff in-coming! ; disney princess reader and her seven sexy mercenaries hehe~

length. : 4.6k

navi. | series masterlist

You were right to be suspicious from the very beginning. Ever since your father's honourable death in battle, you had been treated as lower than dirt by your stepmother. She was more than eager to be crowned the new queen of the kingdom and did her best to wipe your existence from the minds of all the people you were supposed to rule one day. Still quite young at the time, you didn't realise her manipulative ways. And you were none the wiser to her malicious intent.

The signs were obvious, every time you met her eyes, the distaste and displeasure were swimming in her narrowed sight, clear as the diamonds in her opulent crown. For quite a long time, you tried to hold out hope that she'd, one day, realise your sincerity, and your genuine want to become a good ruler. All in the hopes that your deceased father would smile at you, proud of your benevolent ruling as rightful queen. But that was your biggest fault. The virtuous desire she saw in your eyes only made her rage, aversion, and fear towards you grow by the day.

It was for her own comfort and self-assurance that you were subjected to live like a servant, dress like a servant, and be treated like a servant, within castle walls, never to be seen by your people again.

Only the palace servants were allowed to interact with you, yet, they were also under strict supervision to act ignorant of their princess' obvious mistreatment. It wasn't any use, however; your kindness, strength, and sincerity, even at such a young age, had all the palace staff turning a blind eye. Whenever the queen commanded that you be mistreated, or dealt with worse than the stable keepers of the royal horses, they offered their help. Even the guards, who had to report back to the Queen, happily turned in falsified reports in the hopes that your upbringing became more auspicious.

For years, you were treated like a servant under the Queen's, your stepmother's, command to which you readily obliged. The mistreatment, the obvious jealousy she holds for you, the insensitivity you had to suffer, all of it was tolerable because of the wonderful staff surrounding you. You also knew that one day, your justice will be fulfilled. You had already passed your coming of age but you weren't deterred. It's malevolent but, as long as you were able to see the lingering hatred in your stepmother's eyes, no matter how few those instances were, you know that there will be hope for a better future. Through her fears, you will be able to rise and take back what was truly yours from the very beginning – your right to rule.

But now... now you don't know what to think.

"Sir Remfrey," you call, following the huntsman further into the clearing on the outskirts of your kingdom. It was a beautiful meadow dotted with the prettiest wildflowers you had ever seen but the trepidation in your thundering heart wouldn't allow you to relax. The huntsman you had grown up to view as a beloved, close relative, doesn't respond. He doesn't even spare you a glance — but he can't allow you to witness the obvious conflict in his eyes. He was determined to let you go but when he stares into the dense forest before him, he worries for the life of his princess, the true ruler of the kingdom he so loved.

"Princess..." the huntsman finally stops just at the boundary of the forest. In a moment reigned by taught nerves, Remfrey tightens his hold on the basket full of food, spare clothing, and other useful supplies for your safe escape. "I am meant to kill you today by order of the Queen,"

Even though you shouldn’t have been surprised, a startled gasp still escaped your parted lips. For a long time, you've been conscious of your stepmother's paramount dislike of you, but never took her for someone who would command that you be killed.

Words fail you and your hands begin to shake as you hug yourself for comfort. It's a morbid thought but at least you were finally given some new clothes before your death — the only silver lining you could think of in such a dire situation. The fabric of your new A-line dress is soft but durable, its length protecting you from the occasional breeze, down until your mid-calf. This morning when you were presented with it along with a thick and cosy, cable knit cardigan, you were elated. It's been years since you were presented with new casual clothes and, upon their presentation, a spark of hope lit up your eyes... that is, until Sir Remfrey came to escort you to an unknown location for a surprise outing by order of the Queen. You weren't stupid but were, nonetheless, stupid enough to follow her ambiguous orders.

"Sir Remfrey please–"

"But I will not do that," the seasoned hunter, the bulky, tall, alpha-presenting man, faces you with tearful eyes, his knees dropping to the grassy ground as he urges you to hold onto the wicker basket he had brought along, "I'm letting you go here, my princess, and I will handle the rest. You must run and never look back; today you really did die so please..." he begs with a quivering voice, touching his forehead to the back of your hand, "please start a new and better life, one that is full of happiness, one that you deserve,"

With tears in your eyes, you embrace the huntsman tenderly, your arms unable to fully circle his broad shoulders, "what will you do? I know she is evil and if she finds you have disobeyed, Sir Remfrey, your family—"

"Will be alright," he reassures in the same whisper you had used to express your concern. Even when knowing your mournful fate, you still thought of him and his family – you are truly a better ruler, a better person, than the Queen could ever be, "I plan on returning with a wild hog's heart as evidence instead," he pulls away to smile at you, patting your head affectionately as he had always done, viewing you as the third daughter he never had, "and I plan on leaving the kingdom with my family soon after, you need not worry about me or anyone else, just yourself,"

He warns you of the dangers the forest presents but it is still a safer haven than the palace. No matter how well-decorated the grand structure may be, at least in the forest, you remain alive. He also lists off the necessities kept hidden in the basket: spare clothes, enough food for a week and some spare gold coins that the staff managed to scrap together as well as 'borrow' from the treasury (with the help of the palace accountant). Everyone at the castle, except the Queen, knew of the plan today and had worked together to keep you safe and give you another, better chance at life. It touched your heart so much that, despite the dismal circumstance, your eyes filled with tears of joy.

So as you traverse over the forest floor, Sir Remfrey's words echo in your head: keep running and don't look back! Create and live a better life!

It broke your heart to be leaving your kingdom and your people like this but... what can you do? A part of you feels guilty for not acting sooner and for allowing things to get this far but another part tempers your self-accusation gently. You were only a child. You had every right to feel guilt over this but the only thing you can and should do is look forward. You haven't yet fully escaped the Queen and you wouldn't dare endanger Sir Remfrey's life after all that he has done for you despite also putting his family in danger.

Keep running!

Don't look back!

Keep running!

Don't look back!

Keep running!

Don't look back!

The sun crawls slowly above you as your feet become heavier and heavier, it's come to the point where you're beginning to drag your shoes along the dirty forest floor and have come dangerously close to tumbling over several times. Thankfully, the trees were there to save your fall, their trunks and branches provided a sturdy foundation to rely on amid your toppling form.

Your throat feels like sandpaper but you resist reaching into the basket for the bottle of milk stored deep inside; you don't know how long it'll take to find a village that you could reside in without a beaten path to lead you the way, so your endurance was being put to the test. It all seems hopeless but you don't want the efforts of the kind palace staff to go to waste, they've sacrificed so much for you, you wouldn't dare put their efforts in vain. Magic items were a privilege of high society, rich nobles, and powerful organisations, only very few knew what was in the Queen's full magical arsenal so you needed to get away as far as possible and quickly!

Just a little longer you think to yourself, pushing forward with a new determination.

Multiple trees pass you by, their trunks and low branches offering support for the hazard that was their knobbly roots. Time no longer was a factor of thought, instead, it was the throbbing in your downtrodden ankles and the ache in the arches of your feet, how long have you been travelling like this? At this point, walking without shoes was an incredibly enticing idea. The dragging of your feet weighs down your sore, hopeless heart and you're soon having to suppress a sob.

But just as all hope escapes you, the distant sound of a running river raises your spirits. Pulled forward by the steady stream, you eventually break through the forest boundary to rest at the river bank. The water was crystal clear and glittering with the early afternoon sun. You wasted no time in leaning down for a drink and, once you had satiated your thirst, you carefully dipped in your naked feet and sighed in the relief that the cool water brings. The tenderness of your arches and ankles was quickly swept away with the water. It was a blissful reprieve that you took full advantage of.

Reaching into the basket, you pull out a small collection of fruit and nuts to snack on before withdrawing a more filling sandwich. The staff had been incredibly generous. They had given you a full pouch of gold coins, food, clothes, and a charmed wicker basket to hold it all in — the internal storage of the modest accessory was endless but it remained the same weight no matter how much you filled it up. It was a rather expensive item that could only be afforded by nobles and royalty who would sooner gift the basket to their staff for use in picnic outings and the like. It was quite handy to have while you worked about the castle along with the rest of the palace staff.

As much as you would have liked to remain sitting at the river bank with your feet dipped in its cool, racing waters, you still had to keep moving forward. For now, you opted for following the river in the hopes that you'd eventually be led to a nearby town as most tended to revolve around freshwater sources. Happily, you dabbed on some of Alma's homemade peppermint and lavender essential oil, stowed in a small glass bottle within the basket. You think fondly of the time you spent making homemade remedies, teas, powders, and all sorts with the elderly palace herbalist, wife of the gardener. They were a lovely couple who taught you everything you know along with many other individuals about the palace staff. One of the most useful things Alma taught you is that peppermint and lavender were deeply despised by bugs and pests, so to save yourself of any troubling bites, you dabbed on the oil generously. Another benefit was the beautiful fragrance helped mask the stench of sweat on your brow.

Refreshed and less panicked, you continue on your new path by the river. You expected another long journey ahead but soon came across a beautiful cottage that stood in a clearing on the other side of the running water. Thankfully a humble wooden bridge was there to help you cross the river. Circling the cottage, you recognise several raised beds full of carefully grown produce, it was the start of an expansive and impressive garden that stretches all around the cottage's perimeter. The cosy structure looked well-kept and huge with many windows and levels, you wonder how many rooms such an isolated cottage could have and for what reason. Nevertheless, this was the first sign of life on your journey and you were eager for shelter and, perhaps, some directions too.

Patting down your dress and sweater for any lingering dust or dirt, you took a breath and steadily made your way to the front door. It was certainly a property that needed admiring so you wondered why it was so remotely placed. You didn't let such thoughts linger for too long, however – perhaps the home owner/s liked their privacy. Stepping up to the heavy front door of the property, you quickly knock before you get the chance to lose all confidence.

No answer.

You gave a secondary knock and even a third knock but there was still no answer. Is nobody home? You ponder thoughtfully.

"Hello?" You call out, somewhat, hesitantly but still receive nothing. It wasn't in your nature to intrude but you really needed a place to stay, just for the night. You'll promise to leave in the early morning, provided that they offer you some helpful directions. Instead of knocking again, you try the doorknob and find no resistance. The wooden door happily invites you into the cottage’s front room.

The space inside was dark and bedraggled. Unused surfaces were covered in dust and a pile of dirty laundry took up a corner space. You couldn't believe that such a sparse interior could be made so messy. Organised chaos was your best attempt at describing the spaces you walked through. Silas (the palace cook) would have lost his mind at the sight of the kitchen and Frances (the head maid) would have fainted from the unclean environment. The air reeked of countering alpha scents too; you managed to pick up seven distinct aromas and swallowed nervously. As an omega, you were heavily encouraged to avoid all alpha-dominated spaces but didn't have much of a choice at this moment. At least the cottage seemed to be empty for now. Not only that but in this modern world, everybody is equipped with their individual, second-gender suppressor accessory – it’s standard for the safety of all people. If the homeowner was civilised, you're sure they would never go out without theirs; you never even took yours off, and most people didn’t.

"No one seems to be home..." you whisper to yourself, gnawing at your bottom lip in thought, "and I've been very rude for intruding like this..." Observing the space around you once more, you wonder how you could somehow mitigate the owner's negative reaction to your trespassing, "maybe if I clean up a bit, they'll forgive me for barging in like this," with your optimistic thought, you got set to work, "I can do their laundry too and…" you eye their kitchen space, "maybe if I make them something special to eat, they won't be so angry," giggling to yourself somewhat, you remember Silas' knowledgeable words 'nobody could eat a delicious meal and stay angry or sad'. He often used that to get back into his wife’s good graces and it seemed to work flawlessly, every single time — hopefully, you can do the same in this instance.

First things first: a general clean up of the area was urgently needed. However, you also had to open every window nearby; the amount of dust and dirt your movements lifted into the air was suffocating. You remain on the ground floor where most of the community rooms are located such as the living area, kitchen/dining room, and a large farmhouse-style conservatory, which stretches into the back garden.

The living area and dining area didn't take too much time, it only needed a little reorganising and dusting. The kitchen took a little more out of you so you took a quick break, where you leisurely got the laundry settled. Thankfully, the conservatory was equipped with an enchanted washing apparatus that you were used to operating from the palace. It was peculiar to find in such a humble setting but you didn't know the full background of the homeowner so you didn't question too much.

Little by little, the once unclean space became decent again. But it was missing something… something homey. Before getting started with dinner preparations, you fetched a newly cleaned glass vase from one of the many cupboards you were able to neatly organise and went out to collect some beautifully blossomed flowers to present at the dining table. You managed to arrange a pretty bouquet featuring bright purple and indigo blossoms, eucalyptus sprigs, bunches of dainty white florets and other miscellaneous greenery. Happy with the floral decoration, you turn your full attention to food preparations.

Some minutes into food prep, the laundry washer was finished and you went to hang the freshly washed clothes up to dry on the washing line. It was helpful that you were able to keep your eye on the laundry through the window above the sink, looking into the conservatory space, which overlooked the back gardens. The interior design was very open and spacious, where, even if you were in one room, you were still able to peek into several others without much effort — you quite liked it; everything was connected but still had its own place.

Getting stuck doing the chores was familiar. The tasks were comforting as they brought to mind the many friendly faces of the palace staff. They helped raise you, provided tutelage on their specialised skills and ensured that you didn't miss out on the vital education all princesses were entitled to, all behind the tyrannical Queen’s back. Silas the chef de cuisine, Frances the head maid, Henry the head butler, Ernest and Abigail the royal librarians, Alma the herbalist and her husband Otis the gardener, Amos the accountant, Cecelia the palace doctor and her assistant Victor, the brother of Violet who was the royal bookkeeper, Hansen, the royal guard and his friends, Abraham the palace mage and so many more amazing people. You miss them all so much, your found family amongst all the hardship you were forced to face by order of the Queen. In your heart, you know that without their help and kindness, you wouldn't have had the courage to be kind anymore. These chores connect you back to them, in a way, and you are happy to swim in the remembrance and familiarity while putting the skills they've taught you to good use.

Despite the original grim state of the cottage, their enchanted cool storage was supplied generously and ran as smoothly as the walk-in cooler of the palace. There was some space for the milk, cheese, and other perishable food items stowed in your charmed wicker basket so you happily stowed those away first before setting out ingredients for the hearty dinner you had planned.

Slow-cooked, tender beef stew with fresh bread rolls and, for dessert, some easy banana bread with chocolate chips and whipped cream. Considering the clothes sizes you had laundered earlier, you assume that whoever lived here needed to be fed an above-average amount — a challenge you were happy to step up to.

Excited to put your cooking skills to the test, you get started with assembling the bread dough so that it has time to proof under the remaining daylight. After that, you quickly went about prepping the many vegetables needed for the stew before finally getting started on searing the meaty beef chuck you found, carefully wrapped in butcher's paper. Some of the seasonings you couldn't quite reach as the cupboards were rather high up so you had to climb onto the kitchen counters at some points. Nevertheless, the domestic, calm scene had you humming a simple tune, imagining Silas observing your progress from over your shoulder and smiling to himself with fulfilment – he always took such pride in teaching you well on navigating the kitchen, from sharpening knives and keeping a tidy space, to maintaining inventory and memorising a range of different recipes to fit any and every occasion.

While the beef stew was simmering over a steady, slow fire, you got to finishing up your bread rolls and finally tossed them into the oven, where you eventually got started on the banana bread and whipping cream. It was a shame that the kitchen space was barely utilised despite the impressive charmed appliances available for use. The homeowner's kitchen space was also incredibly big and it came with two beautiful ovens, meaning that you could cook the bread rolls and chocolatey banana bread at the same time — it was a home cook's dream cooking space. The only conclusion was that the homeowner wasn't suited for cooking but you were happy to fill in that scarcity, especially if it made them less mad at you for intruding…

Wiping the thought from your head, you allowed the delicious aroma to fill the kitchen while you went to collect the newly dried laundry and placed the piles in the conservatory space, ready to be folded neatly. It was a little unfortunate that you couldn't extend your labour to the upstairs spaces but you've infringed on the homeowner's space enough; you don't think a simple cleaning or a hearty meal could convince anyone to remain calm if they found that their private bedroom space was also carelessly invaded.

Everything was going well and you're positive you would make a good first impression. If you were determined enough, you're sure the homeowner would be willing to overlook your trespassing on their property. Hopefully, they'll also be convinced to let you stay the night and offer you some directions to leave for the following morning; you've already intruded enough, you couldn't possibly ask for extended shelter too... although it would be very much appreciated on your part.

Yawning softly, you take out the bread rolls and place them on a wire rack to cool, waiting a little longer to do the same for the chocolatey banana bread. On occasion, you would check on the bubbling beef stew over the small fire, but the longer you cook it, the better the flavour and the more tender the meat becomes, so you weren't too worried. The only time you added to the pot was when you felt as though the broth had gotten too low and needed replenishing.

"It should be ready in another hour or so," you murmur to yourself as you cover the pot once more and clean up the kitchen space as you go. You push yourself to finish ironing and folding the laundry in the conservatory before finally admitting to your tiredness. Allowing the fatigue to consume your figure, you settle yourself in the living room and curl up on the large sofa. With the throw blanket covering you, one of the sofa cushions supporting your head and the other hugged to your chest, sleep found you easily. In your dreams, you imagine being warmly accepted by the mysterious homeowner, who eventually helps you on your way to a quaint little village that you happily settle into and start a new life in.

"Captain!" Jake fumbles his way towards Steve. The morning had been a rush and flurry of activity as the group found a potential lead but was met with yet another dead end and returned back to square one. Now, as they make their way back to their temporary home, a complimentary asset that came with their year-long mission, Jake was finally able to check on their security system but panicked as soon as he saw the breach alert.

"What is it, Jake?" Steve sighs and carefully massages his temples. Four months into their mission and they have yet to make much progress at all. Things were optimistic in the beginning but time was running out quicker than he expected. As the captain, he often has to remind himself to be patient but it's hard to get a bird's eye view of things when you're in the thick of it.

"There was a breach at the cottage!"

"What?!" Lloyd snaps with Ransom close behind him. It's been years since they've had a stable home space and now it's been broken into?! This was the one clause in the contract they were adamant about for the ounce of stability it provided on their normally volatile profession; they refuse to have such an invaluable property taken away before its agreed-upon time!

"I thought you said that barrier made the cottage invisible to everyone but us!" Ransom barks with barely restrained outrage, adding to Steve's headache but the philanderer doesn't pay his captain's chilling glare any attention.

"Yes—!" Jake huffs from confusion and astonishment at the bewildering facts before him, "But because the cottage is also very isolated, it's not as high-level a barrier as it could be so high-affinity magic users can see right through it and possibly even break through,"

His explanation further angers the two main antagonists of the alarming news but, ever the mediator, Ari steps up with a calming air, "We're almost home so we can take care of things soon enough," Steve gives the mechanic of the group a grateful smile. Yes, the circumstance, after such an exhausting day, wasn't ideal but he will always appreciate additional help when taming the two wild cats of their mercenary group.

Seeing their home just ahead, Ransom and Lloyd begin to rush forward but are immediately stopped by Curtis' unyielding limbs. With a grunt, the silent surveyor and guard forces them back in warning.

"We don't know who's inside but from what Jake said it's a high-affinity magic user," Steve scolds deeply in a hushed whisper, "we can't just rush in blindly,"

The group look at their homey cottage and observe all signs of activity within. Some windows were left open with the curtains drawn, a soft golden light emits from inside and the small chimney positioned by the kitchen is billowing with smoke. It's obvious that someone else had made themselves at home in the mercenary group's absence.

"That's strange," Andy admits, seeming to have read Steve's mind as the two turn to lock eyes.

"Doesn't seem like the intruder is looking to ambush us," Steve completes their shared thought, "but that still doesn't mean they can't harm us so stay on your guard," Steve directs the group to opposite entry points about the cottage. This improves their chances of surprising their intruder as well as covering more ground. They reconnect their earpieces before setting forth on their stealth positions about the cottage; naturally, Steve separates Lloyd and Ransom to avoid their troubling behaviour together.

"Ari, Ransom, and Jake go in from the back. Curtis, Andy, Lloyd, and I will head in from the front," Steve eyes Curtis and Lloyd, "you two split off to search the upstairs while Andy and I head through to the kitchen. If we can, we’ll regroup there," with an affirming nod from all parties, they split up and take their positions accordingly.

navi. | series masterlist | two. a fateful meeting →

a/n : this is just the beginning but i hope you darlings enjoy the series so far! please comment, like, reblog and tell me what you think, i'd really appreciate it! — bit of a bad time posting this on kinktober but we move haha!

p.s this is my first time writing for these sexy men so please go easy on me and my characterisation of them (ó﹏ò。)

#ransom drysdale x reader #steve rogers x reader #lloyd hansen x reader #ari levinson x reader #curtis everett x reader #jake jensen x reader #andy barber x reader #andy barber #steve rogers #ari levinson #curtis everett #lloyd hansen #jake jensen #chris evans characters #chris evans characters x reader #fairy tale au #snow white au #fluff

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guiltycorp · 1 month ago

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Damn i really want to know tf happened in the writing room of arcane s2. Some of the downgrades were inevitable due to the show's corporate limitations (not being able to progress the class war story in a meaningful way, having to tie things back to league of legends in terms of making playable characters more appealing to well, play... rip Mel and Viktor in particular), sure. But i still feel like it's even worse than that? There are so many bad decisions that i couldn't even start listing them all... the characters, plot, pacing, themes, it's just such a mess? Even the dialogue writing, it feels much more mm Marvel at its worst i suppose. What i am most bothered by is probably just the straight up harmful messaging so um... Cycles of violence and abuse can be broken by individual decisions to become a better person! Got nothing to do with systemic oppression, living conditions, mental health issues, you can just conveniently ignore aaall the social context, live laugh love and then things get better automatically yep, oppressors famously stop oppressing you when you show them that you're harmless and won't put up a fight anymore. Literally three out of three suicidal characters dying to redeem themselves? Not even in a tragic/cathartic way but in a bittersweet 'they finally atoned for their mistakes' way? Groundbreaking lmao. Romantic relationship between Vi and Caitlyn including no communication about their biggest fight, just conveniently skipping to sex and getting back together - would have loved that if it was framed as the unhealthy fucked up thing that it is, skipping over Vi's hurt and her background to once again become a cop, her girlfriend's direct underling at that (!) due to her not having any other support systems... But nope that was our cute lesbian romance wrapped up, a good thing all around, not concerning at all. Jayce telling Viktor that what he 'always admired about him' was his disability and his deadly disease (??? from a character who spent the whole s1 and first act of s2 desperately trying to help Viktor find a cure? sure) and that those imperfections don't need fixing, just wtf truly. Magic bullshit was also weird, some implications of 'natural magic is ok, but achieving that power through other means corrupts you into a crazy robot bitch or just wilts your trees i guess', but tbh it was written in such a weird and inconsistent way that we can skip this one... Yeah actually a lot of things were just such a mess that I feel silly pointing to specific moments or lines I didn't like, I mean duh, it barely makes sense as a story at all... I am happy we have s1 which comparatively was a masterpiece, and i also really enjoyed s2 act1, i truly believed it would lead somewhere good at the time, my mind still kind of cuts off the story at that point when i think about it, that WAS the open ending of the show to me (is it possible that there were rewrites? targeting act 2 and 3? idk, wishful thinking perhaps). Despite my extremely negative feelings about this season's conclusion i remain glad that so many people appreciate the show regardless, it is clear that there was STILL a lot of love in the process of its creation (although i'd argue that even some of the visual aspects of the show suffered in quality, once again i have to wonder about behind the scenes mood of it all) and i get very upset when i see creatives online despairing over reception of their projects even when i'm absolutely in the disgruntled crowd hahaha... ...however yeah, this wasn't great In a world that increasingly grows more and more right-wing politically... we really needed something different i think.

#tbh i also feel a little annoyed that all the league jayvik fans were right all along #i always rolled my eyes like oh shush changing the characters doesnt mean ruining them #and here we are #boo boo the fool jpeg #arcane spoilers #arcane s2 spoilers #arcane critical #negative #ranting #text #long post

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eluxcastar · 8 months ago

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Heyy! May i request dottore x fem!reader who is a Porcelain doll(a puppet like scara but she's made out of Porcelain instead) and likes all those cute feminine stuff and collecting stuff like bows, Porcelain dolls and more. And I wonder if dottore would like the reader being pretty feminine and what's his opinion on Porcelain dolls (don't mind when i did any mistakes, English isn't my native language)

~🎀🧷

Dottore with a doll reader

── ୨୧：il dottore x reader

୨୧﹑synopsis :: silly rambles about Dottore and doll reader being cute

୨୧﹑genre :: fluff

୨୧﹑content :: fem reader (no gendered terms really used tho tbh), soft dottore (listen it's my guilty pleasure), reader has the properties of porcelain, not proofread

୨୧﹑words :: 950

THIS ACTUALLY reminds me of one of the very very first drafts I wrote even before Tartaglia's little brotherfication (coincidentally also of Dottore) so this is very fun. That doll was one of Sandrone's creations and I've decided so is this one

this also may hit close to home did I ever mention my slight obsession with dolls (it's worse than slight)

Dottore has fixed you many times, much to his inconvenience.

He has warned you many times against becoming reckless, but you never seem to listen, at least in his eyes. You are by no means fragile—porcelain is hard to chip away at—your habit is simply that of finding danger. Finding it, throwing yourself at it, and landing yourself here in the darkest corners of the Fatui's headquarters so the doctor can carefully string you back together.

A gentle touch is not his forte, the practised hands of a doctor toiling away in his effort to put you back together. You prefer him to Sandrone any day for how much less pain you associate with him. He can scold you all he likes, but it may never work. You'll keep coming back and asking for his help when your strings come loose, and he will oblige your request for reasons that escape even him. It is a simple process now performed practically from memory.

Your habit of collecting frankly worthless items is certainly something. The bows, frilly dresses, and varying spools of lace you always claim you'll do something with and never do all feel normal. The porcelain dolls, on the other hand, are...interesting.

You are a living porcelain doll, and yet you collect them like novelty items. Isn't that like your equivalent of collecting human babies? Whatever it is to you, people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, so he keeps quiet as you fuss over their placement and hair, straighten their clothes or whether you're willing to sacrifice the careful styling of their hair to a pretty hat. It keeps you happy and away from everything dangerous that you seem to always run into.

The truth is, you are not in the slightest delicate despite making yourself seem that way. What you are is heavy, too heavy to always be lifting onto an operating table and too heavy to be lugging your pieces around—porcelain is not light.

However, there is interest to be had in the workings of your construction, which he is reminded of each time he takes you apart and watches you divide into inanimate pieces. You talk to him sometimes, pleasant background noise, or maybe just annoying when you start asking foolish questions he can't possibly answer. He can handle every "What are you doing?" and "Why are you doing that?" but when you begin to show your ignorance regarding your own creation and try to turn to him for answers instead of Sandrone, it frustrates him.

You're supposed to answer his questions.

"She doesn't like my questions," you reason, and he never has to wonder why that is. Your incessant prodding and curiosity would irritate her, as does his indulging of your curiosity. She will complain that you're becoming restless and not as quickly satisfied, but really, nothing much at all has changed.

He can deal with your gravitation toward the things that make you happy if that's what keeps a smile on your face. One might even say he doesn't mind it, even when you pester him to help you tie your bows when they come loose in your hair or listen to your ramblings as you try to get him to help you with your dolls. He's better at tying knots than you. His hands have friction to keep the strings in place, unlike your slippery porcelain hands.

Your habits are endearing in their own way, the satisfaction with things that make you feel...human. You will never be, but the illusion of humanity and the yearning to chase it is not unlike the Segments. They think of themselves as human, believe they are, and exist as though they are human, yet they will never be as human as Prime. The only idea that makes sense is that you are displaying the same behaviour.

It is how Sandrone made you to be.

He can't say he especially blames you for following what your creation dictates. Your presence could bother him more than your interests could, namely a result of your many, many questions. It's not that you're sheltered or ignorant of the world around you—far from it—but most people don't know the nature of the things he works on, and you are no exception. You learned everything by asking, and he presents a wormhole of knowledge that you seek to understand by having him explain everything he's doing to you in great detail.

There's a bargaining that comes with it. Dottore will give you things so long as you stay out of the way, and you'll inspect them with a curious eye because he presents you with what Sandrone keeps you from. That is the only reason he can accept as to why you're talking to him, not that you like his voice and his smile, nor that you find the things he says fascinating or enjoy the light brush of his fingers against yours as he passes you your little 'distrations'. It's enough to watch him.

He complains his hands are always cold, and supposedly so are yours, but you've never felt temperature before. You like the faint glimpses of his scars, soft as his skin. They're not like yours, the closest equivalent being jagged cracks in your limbs that someone has to eventually fix before they worsen into breaks.

Things are comfortable around him. He is used to the odds quirks of sentient, inhuman beings, and a benefit of being around them is that they don't mind how weird he is by most standards.

You are something he can easily get used to lingering around. Despite your similarities to the segments, he must admit that you are far less of a bother.

#♡ — 🎀🧷 anon.#♡ — anon visit.#✦ — headcanons.#✦ — fluff.#dottore #il dottore #dottore x reader #il dottore x reader #dottore x female reader #il dottore x female reader #genshin impact #genshin #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact x female reader #genshin x female reader

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exaltedfuzz · 7 months ago

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Goddammit, your last lanamia comic made me cry.. What master storytelling spirits are you channeling that make you know these characters better than the original writers?

Deepest apologies... I have worse planned. Poor Mia. (and Lana... but you'll see why I say poor Mia soon enough, I hope...)

As for writing characters, it really helps to talk to yourself in their "voices" to try and figure them out. Mumble to yourself when you're cooking, when you're walking and nobody's around, but also listen to people speak. When you put what you know into dialogue it sounds way less phony than if you're purely trying to advance plot with ham-fisted exposition... Though you need a bit of that too, if you're trying to drive something. It's good to write stuff down in a script, get a recording app out, say it all (put on a different voice for each character, why not?) and when you stumble over the sentences because they suck to say out loud, rewrite them so they don't. Your most powerful tool in writing speech is speaking.

Think about the context too, it's dead important. Surrounding events and characters are what keep things grounded... Nothing exists in a vacuum. It's really useful that AA has such a packed world, with so many characters in proximity. Makes it easier to de-vacuum things. I guess the same is true for most fan works.

Having a start and end point really helps. But, more so in a sense of "where is this character at the start of this scene, and what do they want to achieve". When you're writing "aspirationally" like this, you can get into the groove better than if you have a point A and a point B that you are looking to get to overall. And then considering the dynamics between the characters and taking that into account when understanding how those goals may be compromised, ignored, pushed for... Who has the most power in a scene generally decides what goal is pushed towards.

Another thing is focalised narrative. Usually when I'm doing these comics (at the moment), I follow Lana, and most of the emotional core is in her reactions to things. You don't want to zero in too much to one character, or you'll end up flattening the rest, but having a core character is a good way to keep things simple. It's tempting to just chuck as many characters as you can into something, but you have to remember that you're then going to have to have them all exist...

Also, honestly, going back to the source text plenty, and with an eye for specifics, is really useful. Take note of how characters refer to each other, which is a huge thing in AA specifically... And also what humanity is in them. For Lana, for instance, she's quite witty, and quick to make light of herself with that wittiness. ("Oh, this? I cut myself by accident. When I stabbed him, that is. I'm not very good at being a criminal, I suppose.") I try to put this slightly irritating joking into how I write her. With Ace Attorney characters, you're looking at them at very intense points in their "lives", so they're probably acting differently to normal, but picking up on these little things can make all the difference. Obviously, as well, there’s the “that… was probably why she was attracted to me” line. I take this as a reluctance to publicly acknowledge the mutuality of said attraction… (“Intellectually” seems like a Lana-ism to deflect that Ema picked up, to me. Lana doesn’t seem to be very comfortable with who she is in general. She wears her King of Prosecutors medals when Edgeworth seems to think the award is tacky, and even Manfred, obsessed with achievement and perfection, and apparently winner of multiple King awards, doesn’t display his medals. Obviously this is because when they were designed, it was before the idea of King of Prosecutors existed, but I think that Lana pinning her achievements to her chest where they can clearly be seen in order to convince to both those around her and, more pressingly, to herself, that she is competent is interesting.) Her own goals also always come second to Ema. I think she’s probably felt quite suffocated by having to spend her whole adulthood so far being a mother to her.I have a lot of thoughts on her as a character, both in the context of lanamia and outwith. She’s very compelling to me, and although most of the time when I'm drawing her, it's the "used to be so gentle, always smiling" Lana that we never actually see in game, I want to push some of these key aspects of her in game identity into her, so I interpret that "gentleness" as a slight nervousness, and that "always smiling" as something mostly for Ema's sake, so she doesn't have to see her rock crumble, so to speak. Anyway, that's enough on her...

I don't know if you really wanted my dialogue writing tips, but anyway. There they are. I wrote way more than I meant to, so sorry about that, haha! Hope some of this could be useful.

I don't know that I know the characters better than their creators... I only hope I'm doing them and the stories I think they could have lived in justice. Thank you very much for the ask, haha!

#ace attorney #exaltedfuzz #writing #lana skye #lanamia #ema skye

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sl33paholics · 6 months ago

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Let's Start The Day Together.

Retsu Kaioh x black!fem reader

Warning(s): mentions of mental health / illnesses (social anxiety n depression), body image issues, social anxiety

I've been having a shitty, exhausting week. I had a huge exam on Tuesday and am now off for the rest of the week until my other exam. Had a health scare, so that wasn't good lol so I wanted to make this writing piece for comfort. This is more of a self-insert, but lowkey made it an "x reader" in case people can relate

It's hot.

You can feel small sweat glands running down your face as you scratch your durag to relieve the itching you had from last night, letting out a huft as you lay on your messy bed trying to get comfortable. You don’t know if it was the fact that you just woke up or if you were going crazy but somehow, this felt like a dream.

You felt sticky.

You were in heat.

You shifted your attention from the ceiling to the small clock on your desk. It was after 1:30 pm.

Your body temperature felt way hotter than normal, especially since you had slept with a sports bra on with your long, baggy ass shorts. Your durag smelled like sweat, and your skin smelled disgusting. You didn’t want to go to work today. But at least the heat was tolerable. You tried to rub away some of the sweat with a shirt that's been sitting on your bed for days, but that only made it worse.

You groaned, sitting up and rubbing your temples. Your head was pounding, making you nauseous.

Taking a good look around your decent-sized spaced room, it was a mess. Sorta. It was a chore to clean up when you have containers filled with unused clothes that you don't bother to wear, boxes of items that you hadn't opened once you moved out those years ago, or even your books that you had yet to read. Your closet looked like there was never an organization to it whatsoever; your bookshelves were mostly empty except for your favorite books. You had no pictures of family that hung anywhere. Everything seemed to be in the same state you left it in.

Why bother to clean? You'd always ask yourself, no one visits. So why would you bother taking care of anything? Maybe you could take a shower. Maybe. Hopefully. You weren't sure what else to do to cool off, besides sleep. You slowly stood up, stretching your arms above your head while yawning. When you finally decided that it was enough to rest for now, you made your way into your bathroom.

At least you took care of your living room. It looks decent if you're ignoring the fact that it took almost a month to finally get off your lazy ass to do something about it. It smells nice and feels nice as if a huge weight got lifted off whenever you step out of your horrid room.

After you did your business, you couldn't help but look at yourself in the mirror. Baggy eyes, stretch marks from your arms to the lower half of your stomach, and your unkempt hair. As if you looked homeless. As if you were lost in a trance, you didn't hear your front door being unlocked and opened by someone who had a spare key. You didn't even realize someone was in your apartment until they walked in.

"Y/N?" a voice called out to you as you shifted your attention to the person behind you, Retsu standing at the doorway with bags in his hand. Restu must've come over here because he wanted to check if everything was okay. "Did you just wake up? Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt." He'd say, looking away to the side. You couldn't help but wonder if he wasn't used to seeing you in your condition. "I just wanted to make sure you're alright," he finished. His brows furrowed as he stared you dead in the eye. Was Retsu mad at you? That doesn't seem possible, but maybe he was just concerned for you? You shook it off, deciding not to dwell on it too much.

"Yeah," you replied awkwardly, putting your hands in your pockets. "I'm just feeling kind of under the weather right now... but I'll be alright." You trailed off, giving him a smile. As the two of you were settling down, you noticed that Retsu brought groceries and other things you'd need. You knew he was trying to make you feel better, so you appreciated it. You didn't even realize how hungry you were until Retsu mentioned food. How embarrassing, how did I forget about food? You thought, biting your lip sheepishly. It was quiet between you two. The only noise in the apartment was Retsu putting stuff away and making the two of you lunch. Once he was finished, he placed plates in front of you on the coffee table while he sat down across from you. You thanked him.

Silence. What was there to even talk about? You felt bad. Retsu did all this and took time out of his day to come to see you, only for you to not spark up a conversation. You let out a loud sigh. "Y/N." You looked over at him, noticing a soft expression on his face. It seemed to be a mixture of concern and pity. "Something's bothering you."

"Retsu, please..." You began. He held his hand up, stopping you immediately.

"Just tell me what's wrong."

"But-"

"No, Y/N," he interrupted sternly, "I've been texting you for days now. I haven't gotten one reply once. You're not looking too well, what happened? Your co-workers are saying you're not showing up to work either." Retsu would ask again. He was starting to sound annoyed. He leaned back on his chair, crossing his arm.

You sighed, knowing he wouldn't take no for an answer. "Okay. Fine." You looked back at your food, not sure what to say. The silence stretched for what felt like forever before you started speaking up again. "I'm just having one of those moments...y'know? I don't know. I don't think I left this building in a week?" You let out a nervous giggle, but you could tell Retsu wasn't happy with your response. "I don't have anybody who I consider friends that I can hang out with. I have work-friends. Not best friends. They do not acknowledge me outside of that, so I've just been in here in my room." You'd say turning your attention away from Retsu, your eyebrows frowning at what you just said.

Retsu didn't respond. You felt a pang of guilt run through you. He probably thinks you're a loser for talking to him like this. You rambled on how much it was difficult to wake up on time, and if you did, you didn't want to go anywhere for the day. You neglected your hygiene and physical appearance. Going on and on, you felt overwhelmed every time you looked in the mirror. You finally stopped your rant once you felt your throat clogging up and tears running down your face.

You sniffled, wiping at your eyes, hoping to catch them before you cry.

Retsu didn't move or speak for a few seconds, and then you heard him stand up from his seat. Before you could protest, you felt strong arms wrap themselves around you, hugging you tightly. You hugged him back as you felt your breath catch in your throat. "If it makes you feel better... I woke up around one o'clock. Last time, I woke up around six in the evening." You said with a chuckle to lighten up the mood. You let him go, but not before resting your hands on his chest to keep him at arm's length. You could feel your heart racing.

Retsu chuckled. "It does," he admitted. A genuine was spread across your face, the first one you'd smiled in weeks. You wiped at your eyes again before giving Retsu another hug. It was warm. You missed the warmth of him around you. He gave you another pat on your back before pulling away from the hug. He got on one knee before clasping your hand tightly. "I'm glad you told me what's been going on, Y/N." Retsu would say as you noticed his thumb was caressing on top of your hand. "And whatever's bothering you now, I'll do my best to help you." The sincerity in his voice was hard to ignore. You were touched by his words. "I'll stay the night here with you." Retsu would say, standing up again.

"You don't have to, I can take care of myself..." You tried to tell him. Retsu shook his head.

"I know, but that doesn't mean I can't watch over you, y'know." He gave you a reassuring smile as he offered his hand again to help you up. You took it hesitantly, allowing him to pull you up. "Let's leave in a few minutes. Getting fresh air is always good for the body." Retsu suggested.

You agreed easily, still feeling a little bit guilty for not opening up to him sooner. If only you had. But you were happy enough to have a guy like Retsu around to assist you during your roughest times.

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topazy · 9 months ago

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Teen spirit

Pairing: Carl Grimes × reader, Maggie Greene × sister reader

Warnings: Swearing, blood and violence

Chapter: 6.01

You try your best to pay no mind to those staring while you explore the different streets of Alexandria. Carl doesn’t seem to notice as he pushes Judith in her pram, or if he does, he doesn't let on. The first few weeks in your new home have been hard on everyone. Noah was dead. While on a supply run, he was torn to shreds by walkers. A few others had died, including Jessie’s husband Pete, whom Rick shot for killing Deanna’s husband, which resulted in your group getting the cold shoulder from a lot of people who had lived in Alexandria since the beginning, and they no longer thought your people belonged in their home.

“I’m glad Maggie isn’t making you go anymore.”

Since Carl was no longer going to ‘school' Maggie said you didn’t need to either, on the condition you help out with different chores, one of them being looking after Judith. “Me too,” you say, leaning down and tickling the baby’s cheek. “It means I get to hang out with my favorite girl.”

“Carl, y/n.”

You turn to see Father Gabriel walking over. Maggie had overheard him telling Deanna that your people were dangerous and shouldn’t be allowed in the community a few nights prior, so it was surprising he would speak to any of you.

Carl’s tone is sharp. “What?”

“You heard what I told Deanna about your group.”

“What is it you want?” You ask.

“It was about me, not you or your group. I know that now.” Gabriel admits, “I want to help. You tried to reach me back at my church, but I’m ready to learn now.”

“I think you need to tell everybody.”

The older man’s eyes gloss over slightly. “Yeah, I think you’re right.”

Carl starts to push the pram again, but strops and sighs. “Come by around three. We’ll start with the machete.”

When Gabriel is out of earshot, you say, “That was nice of you.”

He shrugs, “Suppose we gotta keep being nice to each other since we are all going to be living together. Besides, I think he’s still struggling with what happened at his church.”

You smile softly. Carl has always remained kind to others, even when he’s angry. “Yeah, I think you're right.”

—

“Y/n, Y/n!”

Hearing your name being called, followed by a thumping noise coming from the bathroom door, you turn off the water and go to step out, but slip on the shower, stubbing your toes on it and letting out a string of curse words.

The banging continues. “Y/n! Y/n! You need to get out of there now!”

Hearing the urgency in Carl’s voice, you grab a towel, and you step behind the door and open it a crack to hear him say, “What’s going on?”

“We are being attacked; you gotta help me keep Judith and Enid safe.”

The fear in his voice causes your heart to start beating faster and faster. Scrambling, you start pulling clothes on, doing your best to ignore the blood coming from your toe. When you open the door, you see Carl looking towards the staircase, directly at the front door, one hand tightly wrapped around his gun. Hearing you flinch while putting shoes on, his gaze jumps between you and the door. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing,” you lie, trying your best not to whine in pain as you tie the laces on the dirty, worn-out white converse. “Who’s attacking us?”

“I’m not sure. They climbed the wall and just started killing people. Enid saw a man kill Shelly with a machete. They are worse than the dead.”

A large part of your new community, including Rick, Michonne, Daryl, and Abraham, had left Alexandria to lead a herd of walkers away, meaning you were lacking fighters to defend your home. At least you still had Carol, Rosita, Maggie...

“God, Maggie!” You hold onto the banister and pull yourself up. “I need to find her.”

“You can’t go out there; it’s not safe.”

“But she’s my sister.” Tears well up in your eyes. “I can’t lose her too! I’ve just lost Beth; I can’t, I can’t.”

Attempting to comfort you, Carl holds you and places his hands on your shoulders. “Maggie is one of the strongest people I know; she will make it. I promise.”

You knew Carl couldn’t promise you that, but you needed to pull it together because right now nothing was more important than keeping Judith safe. You wipe away a fallen tear. “Okay, let’s do this.”

—

When you went downstairs, Enid informed you that the group invading Alexandria was called the Wolves. It wasn’t clear what they actually wanted; some members of the Wolves were looting houses, and the others were tossing petrol bombs and destroying everything they could.

Sitting back to back in the hallway, watching the front and back doors while Enid kept an eye from upstairs, Judith slept blissfully unaware of all the chaos going on in her crib.

Hearing a loud noise, you flinch. “What was that?”

“It sounds like a car horn.”

You chew on your bottom lips, and the blast of the horn would draw any nearby dead to the scene. “This is just going to keep getting worse, isn’t it?”

“No, my dad will be back soon, along with everybody else, and we will all be fine.”

You let out a deep sigh. You didn’t want to be so negative, but the fear of something bad happening to those you loved weighed heavily on you. Slowly, you look away from the back door and face Carl’s head. A few seconds pass before you lean in and kiss him on the cheek, “Thank you.”

He blushes, and you return to watching the back door. You’re unsure of how long you will wait for something to happen when Carl jumps to his feet and runs out of the front door.

You catch a glimpse of a wolf chasing Ron. Just as you reach the front door, Carl shoots the man in the leg and aims his gun at him, but the wolf tearfully starts begging for his life and for help with his leg. You watch in horror as Carl hesitantly lowers his weapon, and the wolf viciously grabs the barrel of his gun. You sprint to them and pull the trigger, shooting the man in the head.

You just killed someone.

You offer Carl your hand and help pull him to his feet. “Oh shit, your foot.”

You look down and see blood soaking through your shoe. Gulping down, you say. “It’s fine. Ron, you need to come inside with us now.”

“Come on, man, it’s not safe out here.”

Ron thinks it over as you go back towards the house, with a slight limp in your step, and Ron goes to follow but spots Enid in the doorway and storms off.

—

Carol came by to check on you, Carl, and Judith. She informed you that they had taken one of the men prisoner, but the rest of his group had either run off or been killed. You were even more thankful when she told you your sister was fine.

“Thank God,” you say sincerely.

Carol smiles at you and says, “I’m glad you kids are alright. I’m going to go let Maggie know you are here; she was looking for you.”

Just as she leaves, Carl comes back into the room with a first-aid kit in one hand and a note in the other. “Enid’s gone; she left a note sharing, ‘Just survive somehow.’”

He sits on the edge of the couch. You go to grab the first-aid bag from him, but Carl keeps a tight hold of it. You roll your eyes playfully at him and say, “I can do it myself.”

Carl gives you a doubtful look. “You won’t do it right because you’ll not want it to hurt.”

He had a point.

After you were sure there was no more immediate danger, you removed your shoe and sock to assess the damage you had done coming out of the shower, and to your disgust, one of your toes had bruises and was swollen, and one of the nails had split, causing the bleeding.

Not wanting to seem like a big baby, you bit down on your tongue as Carl cleaned your foot and wrapped your toes together with a bandage.

“You know, I really could have done it myself.”

He shrugs. “I know, but I don’t mind. I remember watching my mom bandage a woman called Jacqui’s foot up after she tripped and fell in camp one day.”

“What happened to Jacqui?” You ask curiously, since you hadn’t heard him mention her before.

“She killed herself.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“She had given up.” Carl shakes his head. “I sometimes think about the camp I stayed in when the outbreak first started. I miss it. The day my dad found us was probably the best day of my life.”

“I miss the farm; I miss my daddy.” Feeling your eyes start to tear up again, you pat at Carl’s hand. “But if you hadn’t left that camp, then we never would have met.”

You sit in a comfortable silence for a few moments, then Carl moves closer to you, saying, “Thank you. For saving me.”

“Don’t thank me; you would have done the same thing.”

Closing your eyes, you try to push the memory of what happened to the back of your mind. You take a sharp intake of breath when you feel Carl press his lips against yours lightly. He pulls away after a few seconds and says, “I…I… shouldn’t have...”

You kiss him back. You remain lip-locked with Carl, your best friend, until someone clears their throat. You jump back, and Carl stands up, his face flushed red with embarrassment. “Hi Maggie,” he says nervously. “I’m just going to go and check on Judith.”

Maggie has a wide grin on her face; she found it amusing how awkward you looked. “I came as soon as Carol told me where you were; she said you'd hurt your foot.”

“I hurt it earlier, but it’s fine now.”

“Really?” She sits down on the edge of the table across from you. “Carol said it was bleeding and bruised.”

“It was, but Carl bandaged it.”

“With his mouth?” She laughs.

“Don’t.”

Maggie tries her best to hide her growing smile with her hand. “Okay, so I gotta ask, do you know how protection works?”

“Yes.”

“You sure? Because I remember what it’s like to be a teenager with raging hormones. You are both smart kids, but you’re almost nearly sixteen.”

Heat rushes to your face. “Oh my god, Maggie, seriously?”

“Y/n, I’m being deadly serious. This is an important subject, and I just need to know how much you learned before.“

You cut her off. “Of course I know how babies are made. Why the sudden interest in my sexual education, aside from trying to embarrass me to death?”

“I’m pregnant.”

#carl grimes x fem!reader #carl grimes/reader #carl grimes x reader #carl grimes fanfiction #Carl Grimes/you #carl grimes fanfic #carl grimes x you #teen spirit #teen spirit 6.01 #the walking dead #the walking dead x reader #the walking dead fanfiction

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velvetydream · 8 months ago

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꒰ :🥀 [ Meet by Fate - Welcome to Aurora ] ”♡ᵎ꒱ˀˀ ↷ ⋯

Part 1 - Meet by fate

Summary : It was a normal day for you or so you though, while enjoying one of your last walks through the town and docks, you meet some strange people.

Pairing : Pirate! Kim Hongjoong x fem! Reader

Word count : 1981 Words

Genre : Fluff, Romance , Slow burn

Warnings ➵ None??

a/n : First part of this new story! Also don't worry only the first 4 chapters will be a bit shorter, bcs those are the ones I wrote back in 2021, new ones will defi be longer!♡

《 Masterlist 》

┌───────────────────────── · · · · ♡

Being the princess of a mighty and powerfull king was definitely not always easy. You had duties to full fill, always had to be formal and like the perfect little princess everyone wanted to make you out to be.

But for what? You had no freedom, no say what to do in your life, who to marry and what not and all this would be even much worse soon.

Just recently did your father announce that you would to be married to Prince Chris of some really wealthy island, did you want that? No, of course not.

You may have meet him a few times, he wasn't a bad guy at all, you just didn't want to get married this young and on top only for the sake of your kingdoms economy. But your mother always told you, a princess had to marry a prince, even though you never understood that, why couldn't a prince or princess rule their kingdom alone? And maybe even find love someday and marry the person you love. Beside you weren't even next for the throne, it was your brother Jae.

And that arranged marriage got you to where you were right now, taking one of your last strolls through your town, through the dock and seeing all the lively and happy townspeople, this all would come to an end soon. Wanting to taste this freedom one last time, before your would be selled off to another kingdom, much to your dissmay.

Not watching where your feet took you, you bumped quit hardly into someone, making you stumble and fall to the ground. Of course wanted one of your guards to immediately run to you, but you stopped them, as soon as you noticed the hand of the stranger you bumped into extend towards you.

"I'm so sorry miss, I should've watched where I was going, are you hurt in any way?" The stranger asked as you take his hand in yours and let yourself be helped up, just now you noticed how pretty the man in front of you truely was.

He looked like some kind of prince, he had blond hair and a almost perfect face, you never knew someone so pretty was living in your town. "Don't worry, I'm fine." Eyeing your guard, you make it clear to him to stay back.

"May I ask for your name? I think I never saw you around." Looking at the pretty stranger, he immediately starts to smile, making him a lot more attractive. "My name is Seonghwa Miss, may I ask about your too?" Starting to smile, you answer him, making his eyes go slightly bigger, he probably knew now that you were the princess. "So you're probably the princess I assume, I'm again very sorry for my manners your highness." Seonghwa apologises again, after you confirmed to him that you indeed are the princess.

"Seonghwa, Yunho is looking for you, he wants to know what you got in this town." A man talked, slowly approaching the two of you, he was slightly shorter than Seonghwa, had brown hair and just now did you notice how odly dressed both were. "Ah Hongjoong, I'm sorry, I got caught up in a conversation with the princess." The man, Hongjoong, now stood beside him, eyeing you up and down. "The princess huh? It's a pleasure to meet you, your highness." Hongjoong starts talking to you, giving a smile your way, these guys really seemed somewhat odd.

Seonghwa quickly left after Hongjoongs arrival, making the it to be only the two of you now, if you ignore your guard at that.

"So, what brings the princess into the town? Shouldn't you be in your castle?" Hongjoong now asks, he still seemed somewhat strange, but you tried to ignore this feeling. You explained to him, that you would be married to some wealthy prince soon and wanted to taste the last bit of freedom you could get, making him slightly chuckle, which offended you just a slight bit. "And what buisness brings you here?" Asking this, got you another chuckle from the man in front of you.

"We are just stocking up on some supplies before we set sail again." Hongjoong explains, making it clear though, that he doesn't want to go further into detail about his stop in your town.

"We'll still be here for two days, find us if you need anything princess." The odd man bows slightly and makes his way to a ship, further away from the other ships, written on it stays 'Aurora', probably the ships name. Just as he walks away do you notice the sword and revolver on his belt, which makes you even more suspicious of the man and his ship. Even the way of dressing was different, to what you normally saw sailors in, which ment they probably are something different.

For now you decided to go back to the castle, not wanting to upset your parents by not showing up to dinner.

Which wasn a good idea too, at dinner your father, the king, talked about some pirates having a stop in the harbor, much to his dismay. Thinking back, Hongjoong and Seonghwa kind of gave off this dangerous aura of pirates, even though they seemed nice, there was something strange about them, maybe you really meet the pirates.

"Also . . Chris will arrive in three days, so we cam prepare the wedding." Your mother announced and immediately after she said that, your appetite was gone, of course this had to be brought up just now. Laying your utensils down, you tap your mouth with the napkin.

"Excuse me, I'll go to my chambers now, I want to sleep early and visit the town again, goodnight father, mother, brother." Now standing up and making your way out of the big dining hall and in the direction of your chambers.

Falling on your soft bed, you let out a quit sight, what would you give to not marry that prince, what would you give for freedom, hell you would give up you royal blood if that meant freedom.

Opening the balcon doors, you walk to the edge, eyes on the dock now, eyeing the ship with the writing Aurora on it. What would you give for their freedom. To roam the seas, free of rules and duties.

Shaking your head you make your way inside again, you shouldn't think like that it's your duty to serve your kingdom and ensure it's wealth, even if that meant giving up your freedom. Getting ready for bed now, you think about the things to do tomorrow in town, maybe visit the little bakery or the florist.

With your thoughs by the next day, you fall into a deep sleep.

Getting up the next day, you got dressed in something light again, ate with your family before making your way into town again, followed by your guard of course.

The first stop was the bakery, getting yourself a little muffin, which you ate while walking, it doesn't matter anymore if you have to keep a good look as the princess, soon you wouldn't be here anymore either way. So why not enjoy your time.

Walking along the dock again, you found yourself in front of the writing Aurora again, not really knowing how you got there, your guard now closer than before, probably knowing who this ship belonged to.

"Hey pretty girl! Got lost?" A voice called from the ship and as you looked up, you were meet with yet another handsom man, looking down at you from the ship. His hair was similar to Seonghwas, just did his hair have an ashy undertone. "Wanna get on board?" The blonde man asked with a big grin on his lips, before a slap landed on his head. "Don't invited strangers on this ship, Hongjoong will get mad at you Wooyoung." A brown haired man told Wooyung now and by now you really asked yourself how all of them could be so handsome.

"Good thing she isn't a stranger, come on up, you can take a look at the ship." Called a voice you already knew, Seonghwa walked by you, a big bag in his hand, and to the direction of the small bridge connecting the ship and dock.

A look at your guard and he was standing still, while you followed Seonghwa excitet onto the ship called Aurora.

When you stood on the railing the little bridge was connected to, the man called Wooyoung held out his hand for you to take, which you gladly took and thanked him of course.

"And Jongho, be nice to the princess." Seonghwa told the brown haired man over his shoulder, making his eyes go wide, same goes for Wooyung.

"Wait you're the princess? Like a real life princess of this kingdom?" Wooyoung asked in shock, looking you up and down real quick, making you giggle slightly. "I am indeed still the princess of this kingdom." After you answered, your eyes immediately wandered across the ship, out of curiosity.

Wooyung immediately offered to show you the ship, taking the offer gladly, following Wooyoung around, meanwhile Jongho stayed back with a slight look of distrust towards you.

"Don't be to intimidated by Jongho, he is actually a really nice guy." Wooyoung explains to you, walking up a small set of stairs to the quarter deck, where the steering wheel was, from that point you could see the whole ship, which was quit impressive.

Following Wooyoung down the stairs again, you now could make out two new voices you never heard before, talking to Jongho. As you looked up, you weren't believing this world anymore, there again stood two handsome man and by now you believe everyone on this ship is handsome.

One of the mand had dark brown hair with reddish streaks in them and about average height, while the other one was quit tall, with brown, slightly swept back hair.

"Wait we have the princess on board right now?" The one with reddish streaks in his hair asks surprised, Wooyoung who heard everything laughed, making the group turn towards the two of you.

"She is pretty!" The brown haired one immediately said, going over to the two of you and holding out his hand, which you shake smiling, while he introduces himself. "I'm Mingi, it's a pleasure to meet your princess." Now the other man stood by Mingi, he was giving you a charming grin. "I'm San, did you meet the whole crew by now?" San asked and just when you wanted to answer, echoed a thud amogst the deck and boots clicking against the wooden flooring.

"Even if she didn't, she won't, cause she will be going now, this is not the place for a princess. Who even let her on here?" Hongjoongs voice echoed over the ship, right now he was obviously a pirate, a pirate hat sitting among his brownish hair, as he now looked over at Seonghwa, who spoke up.

"I let her on, she was curious and I saw no harm in it." Seonghwa answered, making Hongjoong roll his eyes just slightly, by now you could assume Hongjoong was the captain of this ship.

"Maybe for her, but I definitely don't want to be executed, when the king finds her here." Jongho spoke up, but keeping quit again after Hongjoong send a glare his way.

"He is right, the small talk was fine, but this isn't, I'm sorry but you have to go princess." After this sentence, Hongjoong makes his way into his cabine, giving Seonghwa one last look, probably making it clear to get you off the ship.

"I still hope you had a good time." A few smiles were send your way as Seonghwa layed a hand on your lower back and guided you off the ship, you waved one last time, Wooyoung and Mingi waving back, with a sad pout on both their face, making you giggle.

Making your way back to your guard now, you tell him to get going to the castle again, making him swear to keep the event today to himself and not tell anyone.

Back at the castle was wating a unpleasant surprise for you though . . .

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robin-the-enby · 10 months ago

Note

Hi! Can I get an angst/comfort fic of Arthur with a female s/o who is depressed and suicidal? Like he walks in on his s/o c*tting while having a mental breakdown? Or he just notices the cuts/scars? Or he walks in on his s/o bl33ding out?? Idk you can get creative with it I’ve just been having an extremely rough couple months. If this makes you uncomfortable then you can just ignore this request, but thanks anyways! I hope you have a great day/night!! <3

It's my problem if I feel the need to hide

Pairing: Arthur x f!reader

Summary: You feel under the weather, but decide not to tell anyone. As your condition only worsens, your friends start to worry about you. It's when you decide to let everything go your knight with blue eyes and a cheeky smile comes to the rescue.

Warnings: depression, suicidal ideation, not being able to care for oneself (containing lack of hygiene and proper meals), mentions of vomit(ing) (3), negative self talk, dark thoughts

A/N: I am so sorry for the delay of this fic, I hope it will be of use to you still. I haven't written for this fandom in a long while, so getting back to it was a little hard, though I enjoyed it none the less. I tried not to use any (Y/N)s and make it as racially neutral as possible, as well as appearance-neutral (Arthur carries reader 1 time, but he's stronger than a regular human, and y'all deserve it ladies, no matter your size). If anyone wants to talk about anything at all, my dms are open, as well as my ask box. Take care of yourselves and stay safe!

The human mind is possibly nature's greatest invention. The complexity with which all its components interact to keep the body functioning is nothing short of phenomenal. And not only that, but it is aware of itself, encasing its own conscience inside a safe vessel, built and evolved specifically to protect it. And as time progressed, and all the basic needs of the body were cared for, there came a need to create. The body could easily be fed, but the conscience needed a different type of sustenance.

The human mind is capable of incredible things. It can set goals for itself as well as achieve them. It shaped the entire world to its liking, for better or for worse. The human mind is the reason why we live the lives we do today. It is the thing that keeps us alive and sane.

It's funny how drastically that can change.

If you'd ask any of the men residing in the mansion on who the worst enemy of humans is, you're sure all of them would at least mention the human conscience, if not directly choose it. After all, their lives have been woven through with the thread of sorrow, the perpetrator being none other than the human mind- theirs or someone else's.

At this point, you feel like you've at least got a peek at the complex inner worlds of history's greatest minds. Some you knew better than others, but you've been le Comte's servant for long enough to consider all the mansion's residents at least friends.

It was evident to anyone who has been in the mansion for at least a month that all of the people (and vampires) residing in it had some sort of baggage, wearing them down even in their second undead life. Some were better at hiding it than others, some just felt more comfortable keeping their troubles to themselves, while others' emotions and traumas were sometimes too great, too overwhelming to be kept locked inside their bodies.

You've tried your best to help those who needed it, both physically and mentally. It helped a few to open up to you at least a little and as time went on, with your hard work, you've earned respect for yourself even amongst the toughest nuts in the mansion. Poking through others' personal affairs and traumas carried along numerous fights as well as apologies and in the end just served to strengthen the bond between you and the residents. And yet, at times like these...you couldn' help but feel alone.

Like all the others, you had to shoulder the burden of traumas, insecurities and unpleasant experiences collected unwillingly throughout your life. You suspected the others knew of this, or at least had a hunch that you, like all of them, haven't had the pleasure of living a carefree life.

They saw you as an independent, strong and courageous woman, resilient and kind in any situation. And if you were in the right state of mind, you would agree. But lately, you began to doubt these traits of yours, the ones you valued so much and were valued for.

You weren't a stranger to struggling and you knew that anyone in need of help deserved to receive it and should not be scared to ask for it.

So why did the thought of asking for help make your stomach churn?

You've been pondering that question for a few days now. Lately, your entire reality seemed to have shifted. At first, you didn't think anything was wrong, a simple bad day, or a bad week wasn't anything to be too worried about. Nothing a nice, relaxing weekend couldn't fix, right? And yet, when you had tasks to complete, you felt agitated and annoyed, but when you had nothing to do, you were antsy and restless. Always feeling like something should be happening, like you should be doing something. For some reason, you couldn't make yourself to do the things you felt you should be doing.

Soon everything has become a bother. Tasks you could usually do with one hand were suddenly so hard that by the end of the day, the thought of bathing or changing into clean clothes made you want to scream until your throat was sore. And so you chipped away at your routine that you so painstainkingly built when you appeared in this time, until the only remaining activities in your days were your work and some basic necessities.

You knew it was getting bad. And it constantly created an almost numbing whirlwind of emotions you really didn't need right now. Why was this happening? What brought it on? Why now?? Is it going to get worse? All these questions and none you had an answer to. You had guesses and various techniques you learnt here and there back in your time, but...you couldn't bring yourself to do anything.

You were trapped. At least it felt like it. Trapped inside yourself, inside your mind. You knew you should tell someone, that if you let it go on, it would sooner or later consume you. But you couldn't do anything. It was as if your body didn't listen to you.

It seemed the residents were starting to get suspicious of your strange mood as of late. There were times when one of them would approach you and carefully ask about your wellbeing, and as much as you wanted to say something, you never did. You logically knew that the first step would be the one to break through the loop, the one that would make all the others just a little bit easier until you felt normal again. But anytime you tried to break through the selfdestructive habits you had fallen into, a wave of such tirednes, nausea and shame overcame you, that you simply caved to your mind's twisted whispers.

You concluded that your best option at this moment was to lay low and let it pass. Your days have become a steady routine of wake up, work, go to bed. And repeat. It was manageable, at first, even with the onslaught of thoughts your mind was conjuring, managing to come up with more and more ways to taunt you with. But as days and then weeks passed, your energy slowly seeped away from your body and it retaliated by shutting off and out anything unnecessary to save as much of what was remaining.

These things included mostly socialising. You became less talkative, while you would usually enthusiastically engage in conversations, if not outright start them, lately you would not speak unles directly spoken to. It has taken a toll on your concentration as well. Many times when someone would try to strike up a conversation with you, they'd have to repeat their question or even call out your name mid-conversation, because mentally you just weren't there. These things not only started to worry Sebastian, your biggest constant in your new life, given that you worked alongside him every day, but also the other residents. You knew of this, as out of it as you might have seemed and/or have been these past few weeks, you knew that they noticed, because you knew them. But what started as a simple snowball had alrady turned into an avalanche and you had to admit that you were no longer in control.

Not that you really cared. You knew you should care, should be trying harder than ever to break out of this spell, but you couldn't. And every time you might have felt strong enough to confess how you were feeling, to lean on someone, to get the help you knew you needed, a sudden pang of fear pierced your chest and you shrivelled back, back into your own small shell that was your skull.

Trying to find a reason for this foolish anxiety proved not so easy, when your mind would make up about five reasons why you should keep your mouth shut every time you even dared to ask yourself such a question.

What if they didn't believe you?

What if it wasn't not that bad?

What if you were just making it up? Making it seem bigger than it is?

These people have gone through so much. They've seen war, witnessed and felt abuse and probably had been through things you couldn't even imagine. Why should they help you, when they're the ones who needed help?

You were not worthy.

Such comparisons were something you chastised anyone who would confess experiencing them for. And yet, when it came to you, it felt like a holy truth. Something that could not and should not be questioned. Because you don't want to be selfish, do you?

You've dealt with this by yourself before, surely you could do it again and not drag down others with you. These and many others became your daily mantras. Lay low, hide, be small, don't make a noise. Survive. But was that really how you wanted to live? If you could even call that a living. You were surviving, yes, but at what cost? For a promise of a period of time where you wouldn't feel like the world is made out of cardboard? A period of time where you wouldn't feel like screaming and crying every second of every day? And how long would that last? A few months, a year maybe? Was it really worth the struggle?

You blinked yourself out of your thoughts when someone vigorously snapped in front of your eyes. Looking around in slight daze, your eyes fall upon a smiling face. "There you are! Theo says he's just waiting for you to walk face first into a wall!" Arthur says cheerily, showing you his signature smirk. "I, like the good friend I am, keep defending you of course. But it's hard when your mind seems to get further and further away from us every day. At this rate, you'll wander off into Seine soon. And we wouldn't want that, would we?" he playfully jabbed at you.

You could feel yourself shaking your head, but the only thing you could focus on was how nice it acually seemed, the cold water seeping through clothes and circling your limbs, the undercurrents keeping you down, where nothing could get you, laying you down onto the riverbed, weighed by the water in your lungs... "So, what's going on in that noggin of yours, hm?"

Arthur was, besides Sebastian, the closest person to you out of all the others. You enjoyed his easygoing demeanor and his jokes never failed to make you laugh. He was a terrible flirt though, and someties could be pretty pushy with his advances as you've realised over the time you two spent together. Luckilly, after a firm conversation backed up by Theo, he had calmed down significantly towards you. The writer still heavily complimented you, always putting that silver tongue of his to use, but you thought nothing of it. He was like that with everyone, even some of the other residents, so the possibility of it ever meaning anything more than banter or a simple compliment never even crossed your mind.

"You're doing it again." the man in question sighed. You blinked at him with confusion. As if reading your thoughts, Arthur clarified "You're in your head again. It must be something really interesting in there to make you so distracted." he joked again, but his expression turned serious "But honestly, what's going on? You haven't been yourself for quite a while now and everyone's getting worried. Even Wolf asked me if I knew what was up with you the other day!" the writer looked at you intently "You know that we're here for you, right? Even if you feel like it's stupid, if you need anything, you can tell us."

You averted your eyes from Arthur' piercing gaze. You knew his words were sincere and it made your chest squeeze uncomfortably. Looking straight ahead, in the direction which you were going, you answered, trying to make your voice as leveled as you could "Thank you for worrying Arthur, but I'm alright, really. I've been thinking of asking le Comte for a break. It would be nice to have some off time." This wasn't a complete lie, since having some down time, where you could pretend time has stopped really did sound appealing, but now you'd have to actually go and ask the good count, which you really didn't want to. Not because you were worried you wouldn't be given a break, but because it was another plan to be made and you barely had enough energy to last you until the end of the day, much less go somewhere out of your own volition.

Arthur knew that you were lying, or at least not telling him everything, so he grinned at you again and spoke confidently "Alright, love, the game is on! I gave you a chance to explain youself, but it seems I'll have to solve this mystery myself." he winked at you and you expected him to take his leave. But Arthur softly grabbed your arm and stopped you in the middle of the halway you were in. Turning to face him in his hold you looked at him questioningly. His smile is much softer now, and if you could focus properly, you would see worry glinting in his eyes "If you ever change your mind, you can stop by. Day, night, doen't matter. We're here for you, love. I'm here for you. Just as much as you're here for us." and as soon as he finished speakig, he was gone. Down the hallway, in the direction of his room. You quietly turned around, trying to process the strange encounter while you went your way.

Your mind was surprisingly quiet for a few hours after that.

You eventually did end up in le Comte's study. Nerves were wracking your body and mind the entire day and when you finally did enter the dreaded room, after all your chores were done for the day, you felt like you would start crying at any moment. For some reason, you felt awful for doing this. You didn't need the break. You didn't need off time to get better physically or because you had too many chores. Why did you want a break, besides Arthur catching on that there was, indeed, something wrong? The only thing you had planned for this break of yours was rotting away in your bed and doing as little as humanely possible. Maybe fate would be so kind and take you away in your sleep. Let you wither away like an overwatered flower.

You tried to make the discussion as quick as possible. Fortunately, the count didn't ask too many questions about your wellbeing and the reason for taking a break, remembering well that you haven't had one in a good while. He did ask if you consulted Sebas about it and you forced down a shudder at the mention of your good friend's name. Not because the butler was opposed to you taking a break, he actually kindly insisted you take one, revealing that he also noticed your mental absence in the past weeks, which could be almost counted as a month now. The worry and confusion in his tone as well as his expression made you wish he told you to stay, to help him, anything to try and convince you to not do what you were about to.

Why were you so worried? There wasn't a reason you should feel bad about taking a break. Even if you physically were just as spry as a grasshopper, taking a break for the sake of mental health was just as important. But deep down, you coudn't lie to yourself. Deep down you knew you were going to give up completely. Either for someone to find you, or to be left to rot. And right now, you hoped for the latter, even if it was still scary to admit.

After Comte gave you a week off, asking if it was enough time for you, which you hastily confirmed, feeling bile rise up your throat and wishing for the comfines of your room, your shaky legs and hazy mind managed to carry you to your room. After spending some time emptying the contents of your stomach, which were absolutely too small you would bet, you nothing but collapsed onto your bed. Mouth unrinsed, hair oily and ruffled, it had finally dawned on you how much of a mess you must have loked like. This realisation finally seemed to open the dam that was holding back everything you were feeling. The disgust, the shame, the fear, the anxiety the heavines, the loneliness, but most importnatly the longing.

Fast, salty tears carried all of that out of your body, leaving your face a puffy, sticky mess. Suddenly, you felt rage boil inside of your chest, sprading quickly to your head. Why didn't you say anything? You were so worried and because of what? Your own mind? Could you be any more stupid? The very same mind that put you through absolute hell this past month was now angry at itself, at its own actions. Why did the world have to be this cruel? Why couldn't it grant you the simple request of a mind that would not try to sabotage itself? And now it was too late.

Yo chose this, you thought to yourself. You chose this and these were the consequences of your actions. As if the tears have released all your pent up frustration in your body, all that it left was numbness. A kind of numbness that made your eyelids heavy, making them gravitate towards each other and pulling you into a deep, calm slumber. The kind of slumber you have not been able to achieve for more than the month you've been actively suffering. But also the kind of slumber that would not bring you closer to salvation.

You woke up, not knowing the time and not really finding yourself caring either. You felt strangely...calm. There was no hunger, no thirst, nothing. Only suffocating quiet, the likes of which you would feel in the deep blue of the ocean. You laid stil for what felt like hours, but could have also been minutes, before you succumbed to unconsciousness again.

This has gone on for a few days of your week long break. At one point you felt the pang of hunger, yet you had no will to satiate it. You only rose from your bed late into the night, when the squeezing walls of your stomach, at this point surely eating itself, threatened to spill nothing but its own acid. You tiptoed as quietly as your stiff muscles could into the kitchen, and after munching on some bread and water, because even though you got up, you still didn't feel like cooking, or that you deserved anything more than the simplest of dishes, you quietly stalked the halls back into your room. You fell asleep again, your stomach satisfied, or maybe convinced into satisfaction by your mind, the last thing you heard was the faint sound of Mozart's piano in the dead of the night.

This cycle had repeated for another few days. Your days were interrupted by quiet knocking that would wake you from your slow decline, and sometimes joined by murmurs behind the door. You couldn't find it in you to care. The door wasn't locked. At one point, you could swear you saw a shadow in your window, but it was gone too soon for your slowed mind to focus on it.

One morning, somewhere at the end of your break, not that you were keeping track of time, your door opened. A gust of fresh air was the first thing that barged its way into your room, chasing out the old and musty, albeit warm air from it. You shivered and wiggled deeper under your covers, grumbling hoarsely in protest. Your half asleep mind registered someone slowly walking into your room, as if they were scared to find out what was in it. You kept your eyes closed.

Arthur knelt down beside your bed, looking at your sickly, worn out face. Carefully sneaking his arm under your blanket, his hand searched for yours until it could take it into its own. Caressing your knuckles with his thumb, he cooed softly "Oh, love. I am so sorry. I am so sorry we let this get so far." You didn't respond. What was there to say? "It isn't your fault" you croaked out quietly, not having enough energy to say it loudly and fearing your voice wouldn't work.

"Why did you hide from us? We would've helped..." the writer almost whined, and you could feel the guilt and worry radiating from him. You wanted so desperately to answer, to give him a good reason for how foolish you were acting, but you couldn't. There was nothing that would excuse you. Nothing.

Seeing your slightly open eyes well up with tears, Arthur rushed closer to comfort you. Shushing and soothing you like a small child after a booster shot, he held you close and you tried not to weep hader. "It's alright, love, everything is alright. I've got you. I've got you now, it's good. You're alright."

After you calmed down slightly, you wanted nothing more than to shoo him away, close yourself off again an bury yourself into your bed to get away from the immense shame you felt. But Arthur seemed to be having none of that. He softly but insistently reached under you and helped you sit up with one arm, holding your hand with the other still. you couldn't bring yourslf to look him in the eye and yet his tone never changed from the soft lull he comforted you with. "Come on now, darling. Let's get you cleaned up."

Your mind wanted desperately to push back at him, scream and yell and fight, but you almost limply let him straighten you up and help you walk over to the bathroom. The writer's heart nearly broke in two as he saw you in the same clothes you were in when he last spoke to you. The image of you suffering in silence for so long made him nearly tear up as well, but he held himself back, focusing on you being his biggest priority.

He ran a bath for you, helped you out of your clothes, his gaze never cascading from your face, looking for any signs of overstepping any boundaries and when he found none, he helped you into the bathtub, first washing your hair and then your body, asking if you could and wanted to handle your private parts yourself. You whispered out a small yes, feeling somewhat ashamed still and wanting to make his efforts a bit easier. Letting you soak in the blissfully warm water, a question appeared in your mind "Arthur..." you called out quietly "Were you the one knocking at my door?" you asked timidly, not knowing fully if it wasn't some kind of delirium your mind put you through. The writer's face became solemn as you took a peek at his face and he spoke, his words and tone equally heavy "Everyone did. We were worried about you. After we heard about your break, we thought it might do you well. Everyone noticed that you weren't quite yourself. But after the first few days, when no one ever saw you leave the mansion, let alone your room, our worries doubled. Wolf said he noticed you walking to the kitchen at night, but Sebas only noticed small portions of bread disappearing from the kitchen, so we wanted to check up on you. We tried knocking at your door, not wanting to disturb you if you really were physically ill, but that didn't do anything." "And the window?" you interrupted him, casting your eyes downward again at the rude gesture. But Arthur continued, with no offense taken "That was Dazai. He was checking up on you a lot. In his own way." Arthur smiled sadly "Today, I had enough. Something was telling me you needed help. And I'm glad I listened to my instinct." he smiled at you and you felt your dry lips lift up ever so slightly. You were found when you needed it the most, it seemed.

After Arthur dried you off and helped you put on fresh clothes, he told you Sebas made a nutritious meal for you that wouldn't upset your stomach. He also suggested it would do you good to get out of your room for at least a little while and eat it in the kitchen. Seeing the panic in your eyes, he rushed to assure you "You don't have to talk to anyone if you don't want to." And so you nodded.

The mansion seemed awfully quiet. There was no one in the halls, no sounds from either corner of the building. On your slow trek to the kitchen, you passed Mozart. The musician didn't say anything, but his lips melted from their usual stern frown to a warm smile and you couldn't help but to start crying again. Athur sat down with you on the cold ground of the hallway, pulling you onto his lap and rocking you back and forth until you felt good enough to walk again. Mozart was nowhere in sight.

You found out that Sebas made you a delicious soup, one with enough vegetables and some meat, the broth strong enough to get you up on your feet in no time. You ate slowly and savoured every spoonful. You suddenly realised how much you've missed eating good food. After your meal was done and Arthur washed your bowl and spoon in silence, he slowly sat down next to you. "How are you feeling?" he asked carefully, knowing that you were nowhere near out of the deep end yet, but desperately hoping his efforts weren't for naught. "Better. Fuller." you answered simply. After another beat of comfortable silence, where you soaked up the sun pouring in through the windows, the writer asked again "Would you like to go back to your room?" You pursed your lips. Suddenly, the idea of your bed and the stuffy room you hid yourself away in sounded horrible. But he comfortable, fluffy clothes and full stomach were pullig at your eyelids again, sleep threatening to take over. "My room it is, then?"

Arthur piped up and you nodded. Before you knew it, you were scooped up bridal style by the vampire, feeling his soft lips on your hairline "Rest, love. I've got you." Soon, you were in a room that smelled of coffe and cologne with a hint of ink. Once again, you wriggled under the covers, these ones feeling much fresher than yours, as you succumbed to sleep once again. But this time, you weren't alone.

#requested #ikemen vampire #ikevamp #ikevamp arthur #ikevamp arthur x reader #ikevamp arthur x you #x reader #tw depression #tw suicidality #fem!reader #hurt/comfort #tw emetophobia

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yanderes-galore · 1 year ago

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DBD Ghostie with your 13, 35, and 53 prompts?????

Oh sure! I had @okchijt help me due to the lack of plot! Hope you enjoy what we came up with :) Admittedly ended up taking my own route in the end of this but I did use their ideas a motivation this time! This was originally supposed to be like Evan's story but was changed as I was writing.

Yandere! DBD! Ghostface Prompts 13, 35, 53

"So what if a few people have to die? It'll only bring us closer!"

"Don't push me away, dear... I only want to be closer to you!"

"I left you a few voice mails, why didn't you pick up?"

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Stalking, Obsession, Murder, Manipulation, Technically kidnapping, Blood, Threats, Choking/Suffocation, Delusional behavior, Darling most likely has PTSD, Forced relationship, Creepy behavior.

Back in your hometown you've heard of the infamous Ghostface killer. There's been legends in other towns about it and there's even been coverage on it in the papers where you live. You never used to be all that scared of it, murder's something that happens in the city and some communities. It's eerie but the chances are low when it comes to it happening to you.

Until you got those infamous calls on the phone.

You told yourself that it would all be fine. You knew your friends and family would be all okay! It's just some prank calls, you don't have a stalker... especially not Ghostface!

You quickly succumbed to fear when the calls got worse. At first they were just meant to get you scared. Then they transitioned into creepy compliments about what you're wearing. You swore you saw shapes outside your window and camera clicks when things are too quiet.

The calls went from compliments to jealous threats and rage when you were near another person. You've called the police and they said they'd keep an eye out. However, the calls never stopped.

You let them all go to voicemail once you had enough. Your dread only grew when you watched the messages pile up and up. You didn't dare listen to them, fearing the worst.

Turns out you were right... you should fear the worst.

The peak of the danger was when your window broke, a scream of terror ripping itself from your throat. A person cloaked in black garb with the traditional Ghostface mask stands in the glass when you turn around. There's an intruder in your house...

and it's exactly as you've feared.

You don't give the killer a chance to talk before you run out of your house and out the back door. As expected, the killer... your stalker gives chase. You don't bother looking back, running into the woods with your phone in hand in hopes to lose him. You quickly tried to call the cops and prayed they'd at least have an idea of where to look.

"Hey there, baby...." He coos, by their voice you can assume they're a man. "You've been ignoring me lately~"

Is that blood on his clothes?

It's all a stupid idea in hindsight, but adrenaline makes people do dumb things. At the time it felt like your best decision. Perhaps... something was leading you there?

All you knew was to run. You could hear a second pair of footsteps follow you throughout the woods. At some point... your legs give out.

The killer pounces with no hesitation.

The man flips you over and straddles your waist. A knife is pressed to your neck in a silent breathe as you hear his breathe heavy behind the mask. You shake, the adrenaline wearing off and creating hallucinations due to being out of breathe.

That should explain the sudden strange black fog pouring in, right?

"I left you a few voice mails, why didn't you pick up?" Ghostface growls, his temper flaring. "Answer me!"

"I'm scared! I'm scared of you!" You blurt out the obvious, struggling against the killer. He responds by replacing his knife with his hand to squeeze your windpipe. Now you're really struggling to breathe.

What did you do to deserve this?

"I send you messages of love... adoration! Yet you just ignore me! Maybe you just don't get it..."

He squeezes harder, probably due to his rage. You smack his arm as a warning but he appears to caught up in his own thinking. Or maybe it's something else....

By the time you give up, you hear the man say one last thing.

"I'll make you understand at some point, dear... I'm Danny, your lover and nightmare, alright?"

---

You don't entirely process his delusions... your mind and body being consumed by the thickening fog.

The sirens never even reached your ears.

You wake up with quick breaths. You sit up quickly, surrounded by friends that you've made in this realm. It was a nightmare... or more likely a memory of who you were before this mess.

"Doing okay?" A survivor asks from their spot beside the campfire. You nod to them even if you're uneasy. You've been through much worse sense thing but now there's a lingering feeling of dread in your gut. Ever since then... you've never seen the killer again.

You know he's here. He entered when you did, yet you haven't seen any sign of him. The thought makes you concerned but you don't let anyone see. You silently wait for the next trial to start and the next game of death to begin.

With a whoosh in the distance, the next feat to overcome begins. By the time you open your eyes again the fog has transported you to another realm. You calm your breathing and choose to forget the memory you recalled moments earlier... it's not important anymore.

You switch your focus on a generator and let your mind wander. It's your typical trial... nothing's wrong. It's normal to have that feeling of being watched...

But why does it feel so familiar?

That isn't in your head... is it?

You're startled by a scream in the distance. You try to focus on your work and ignore it for now. You'll get them later... it'll be okay.

You focus on the generator with a survivor running over to help you. It's just like any trial. You're just thinking of the past....

You're shocked to your senses when a scream happens beside you. You blow the generator and quickly turn to see a figure holding the survivor that was with you. Black garb... Ghostface mask...

The demon from your past rears his ugly mask.

He gives you one look and a wave before disappearing into the shadows with the struggling survivor. You can barely hear anything except for the blood roaring in your ears. Adrenaline kicks in just like that night long ago... and you do what you do best.

Run.

This was no longer like the trials you knew. To you this was a repeat of your nightmare, your past. The blood, the forest, the fog... him.

It's all en echo of what happened before.

Your thoughts are confirmed by another scream, one different from the rest.

You continue to run, lost and confused in your own memories. You fear you're being watched again. You're hunted by the one you fear most.

"It's about time I saw you again."

A knife is tosses beside your head, hitting a wall by you. You freeze and turn your head towards the killer. His clothes smell metallic and he strolls towards you with a cocky stance.

"I see you remember me, you're quivering. It's me... your one and only Danny. I've been waiting to meet you again, it was bound to happen eventually."

"You already killed them... didn't you?"

"The Entity allowed me to bend a few rules for us." Ghostface... Danny purrs in a way that makes you ill. "So what if a few people have to die? It'll only bring us closer!"

"Closer!? The hell do you mean-"

"Aw, is that the part you forgot? Did you forget the fact that you and I are a thing? We're meant to be lovers, you and I! Why else did I call you every hour of the day and night?"

He comes closer, one hand grabbing his knife in the wall while the other quickly locks you in place. He's teasing you, he loves this torment. He loves to scare you....

"Stay away! Not again! I don't want to relive that night!"

"Don't push me away, dear... I only want to be closer to you!"

He holds you in place, this time a hand on your shoulder. He threatens to grab your neck like back then but allows you to be compliant. Even his words appear to be a threat for you to comply.

"Ohhh... I missed you..." He sighs, pulling you into a strange embrace before moving his mask enough so his lips are shown. "I've missed you, been wanting to see you for a long time now. I want to keep you... to love you... now I can."

He tilts your chin up, a twisted grin of satisfaction on his face.

"Even if you don't want me to."

He kisses you... but you don't fight. You were bound to see him again some day. You hoped you'd never have to.

Yet this is The Entity's realm...

It thrives on torment.

#yandere dead by daylight #yandere dbd #yandere ghostface #yandere danny johnson

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astralleywright · 7 days ago

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You're so right about people who never really engaged with Imogen as a character.

I remember seeing posts asking why Imogen didn't leave Gelvaan earlier, and would suggest it was because of some sort of 'learned helplessness'?

She's a telepath! Her powers would follow her wherever she went! Sure, Gelvaan was awful to her, but she doesn't have much better alternatives. She could either a) leave her only family member to live the same life in another town or city (physically painful, and only better if they don't discover her powers), or b) totally isolate herself from everyone, and provide for herself...somehow. She was already very alone before meeting Laudna and was pretty deeply unhappy about it.

Idk. I'm not even particularly good at themes and deep reading but this was just surface level understanding of her powers, and people weren't even willing to do that.

the "learned helplessness" thing really kind of is the ideal example for the very dumb way the fandom uses autonomy, discursively, as kind of an all or nothing deal. because learned helpfulness is a thing, and i would fully believe it's something Imogen experienced in her time in Gelvaan. but as you pointed out, it's usage here puts the blame squarely on her, while ignoring the societal and environmental factors that made life in Gelvaan difficult and would have likely made it difficult anywhere else.

this is an extension of an incredibly punitive, carceral culture and logic in fandom, something that's changed face over time but never really left. Laudna didn't try to take Ishta because Delilah preyed on her grief and trauma and anger to stroke her jealousy and arcane addiction and feelings of powerlessness and worthlessness and fear that she'll be abandoned if she can't be useful, no. she did it because she's a bad person. she did it because she needs to make everything about herself and loves playing the victim and she's greedy and too dangerous and totally the one in the queer housing group who won't do the dishes because she has "dish-related trauma", am i right guys. she did it because it doesn't matter why Laudna did it, she needs to be called out and held accountable, and anyone who tries to explain her actions or sympathize with her or defend her against the most cruel and untrue comments is coddling her and erasing her agency and thinks she was completely in the right. and they're probably a misogynist. or even worse, a misandrist.

it's also an extension of fan resistance to the existence of oppressed-oppressor relationships or just general power dynamics in Exandria wherein parties they sympathize with or project onto act as the oppressor, ranging from the Gods to the people of Gelvaan. these parties, in turn, will have their agency obfuscated while the harmed is laid bare. the most obvious, and infuriating, examples of this in CR fandom are the suggestions that Opal and Dorian are responsible for their victimization by the Spider Queen, because Opal chose to put on the crown and Dorian was, uh, there with his brother? i've repeatedly seen those things presented as incidents that can't be blamed on the gods, really, because Opal and Dorian had any modicum of free will. as if the Spider Queen accidentally stumbled into creating an evil corruption crown or killing Cyrus. she can't help it, she's just being Lolth!

which takes us back to Gelvaan, and the idea that Imogen was suffering from some "learned helplessness" that was a purely internal failure and not the result of any external conditions. i joked on that other post abt Liliana being the final exam in a class many people had been failing from the start, and like, yeah, being able to understand "Imogen suffered in Gelvaan for reasons that were not solely or mostly her fault and would have been the same or similar elsewhere" feels like one of those early pop quizzes. and at this point, it's like, idk. sorry that you can't enjoy the beautiful, bittersweet mother daughter reunion bc you were too concerned with ideas of personal responsibility 100 episodes ago to properly empathize with Imogen. skill issue tbh

#critical role #yeah let's main tag it fuck it i spent a lot of time on this #cr spoilers #cr discourse #cr meta #would you believe this was originally even longer #i had a whole thing where i explained the original learned helplessness experiment to discuss blame attribution it kinda banged #long post /#crposting #asks #anonymous

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fantasticarcadefan · 5 months ago

Text

Teyvat and the Ascended Pt.2: Discovering yourself

Warning: Religious worship, bad descriptions.

STC - Skin tone color

------------------------------------------------------------

You didn't know what to say. Too much was going through your mind. Who are the ascended? Why do they refer to you as a god? A million more questions race through your head before a voice calls out to you. "Your Grace?" It was Alexi's voice. "Y-Yes, Alexi?" You respond, unsure of what he asked. "Are you okay? We're not going to hurt you." Alexi says in a rough yet soft tone. A million thoughts go through your mind, unsure of what to say. Do you tell them the truth? Do you lie to them? Do you make up a story? You eventually decide that, due to the ability to transport yourself elsewhere, it was better to admit the truth before you find yourself in a worse position than in Teyvat. "Look, I-I think you got the wrong person. I don't know anything about the "Ascended Species" or me guiding you in person." You say, bracing yourself for a mixture of emotional, psychological, or physical abuse. Alexi looks at you and then smiles, "I'm afraid that's not the case my lord. The soul seeker was set to your soul, and in addition, we're passing through a nebula right now, and usually when we do,we often find ourselves going through what is known as turbulence. And ever since you've arrived, the storm has calmed down." Alexi explains to you. "And it makes sense for you to not know of the Ascended. After all, you're only made aware of the world you'll be descending into, with you starting to get visions of the other worlds you created later on from your past."

You're shocked. How are you supposed to react to that. One day, you're running from hunters in Teyvat who're claiming that you're an imposter, the next, your soul, if what they say is true, is abducted by aliens from various species who're claiming that you made each of their civilizations. But another question came into mind. Are you able to get home? And how many other lives have you abandoned when you descended onto each of their worlds? "Crowner of Champions." The beetle alien says,breaking you out of your existential crisis, getting your attention. "My name is Kul-Tan of the Backatta species, representing the Legion of Hantakka. My people and I pride ourselves in being able to find worthy opponents in all fields, originally in just strength, but your descent into our world showed that there are other ways of combat. And I couldn't help but wonder what great beasts you've slayed at your new creation!" Kul-Tan says, ignorant about what you've been facing on Teyvat. "It's not as glo-" You say before stopping mid sentence as you are looking at your skin.

Instead of the (STC) on your skin, your body's instead a mix of a bright white, a void black, a gleaming gold, and a shimmering purple all jump across your body. "Wha-,ho-, the he- what?" You say, unable to form a word about your body's situation. "And that's another reason we see you as our divine creator." Alexi says, slightly amused at your situation. "The creator, you," Alexi says, as he points at you. "Have been known to be both the kindest of souls, devoting time to help those that need it, both before and after your discovery on each of our worlds, and a nightmare to those incurring your wrath." Alexi continues. "The white and dark energies, I assume, are part of your emotions and part of the balance of the galaxy, what the golden and purplish energies represent, however, may be representative of the balance of the world you descended upon." Alexi says, hoping to help you understand. If you had to guess, the golden energy represented Celestia, and the purple energy represented the abyss. "I wonder," you tell yourself, if I knew about this sooner, would the hunt for me have never occurred?" You ask yourself as you get out of Mary's arms and wander the room while you start to think what this could do. After all, if that was true, then you could reveal this form to the Teyvatians and hopefully convince them that you're their actual god, or at least cause enough debate in Teyvat that the hunt could be cancelled or postponed for a while then- "Your Grace?"

You hear Mary call out your title in a concerned tone. As you turn to face her, you can see a mixture of horror, concern, sadness, and rage on the crew's faces. "What do you mean, the hunt for you would have never occurred if you knew about that form?" Mary asks in a cautious and worried tone.

#genshin sagau #sagau #genshin impact sagau #self aware genshin #genshin impact #cult au #ocs #fanfic

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celaenaeiln · 1 year ago

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Okay, so I've been scouring your blog these past few days, and ughh, it feels so good to find someone who actually seems to understand who Dick is! His eldest daughter complex is something I relate to so much, and was the thing that really drew me in. A lot of people look at the mediation and emotional weight lifting, (and those are huge parts of it, don't get me wrong,) but something else I find very eldest child is the way his own relationship with Bruce has continued to take hits all so Bruce can have better relationships with the others. Like when you're the oldest your parents make so many more mistakes with you. I also can't help but feel like it's got to be so hard as Dick to look at the way Bruce is with Tim/Dami/Cass, and wish that he could have that kind of relationship with his Dad. They want to be jealous of the trust, think he's the golden child, and yet at the same time, he's wishing he had something more resembling the true parent/child relationship the others got. (Idk maybe I'm projecting, but oh lord I go absolutely feral for eldest daughter Dick, it just hurts so good)

og post in reference

Yes! I'm so glad you brought that up!!

In terms of parenting, and why I don't really write about Bruce being a parent to Dick, is because Dick is kinda a guinea pig, as my engineering teacher put it once.

He was the Bruce's first for everything. First friend, first partner, first son - he just took responsibility for all roles. It makes things even worse because Bruce at the time he took in Dick, he had only been Batman for three years. Three. And he was literally drowning under the weight of the mask until he found Dick. There's a reason why Dick is Bruce's is right hand man and that's because Dick's been with him through everything. When Bruce was struggling and almost giving into his obsession, Dick was there to pull him out of it.

He quite literally mothered Bruce through his feelings, asking if everything was okay, what's wrong, watching him constantly and guaging his mood. This is exhausting work because Dick's mind was always on Bruce's mental state, much like a mother worried constantly about her teenage daughter or a father about his son.

That adoption scene where Dick asks Bruce, "why didn't you adopt me?" That's the realization of eldest daughter syndrome brought up.

Up until then, Dick was completely fine with being the caretaker for Bruce and lifting him up. He parented Bruce for so long and so smoothly, neither fully realized how much Dick was doing for him until he left. When Bruce adopts Jason, that's when Dick realizes there's something wrong with their dynamic.

I don't know if at that time Dick really wanted to be adopted or if he felt neglected because that he's wasn't while another was. But one thing he feels isn't jealousy, he's very clear on that, but Dick feels hurt.

Was there something he did wrong that caused Bruce to do that? What he do differently? What could he have done better? These types of questions constantly cloud his brain because he's gotten so used to taken care of his guardian for two decades now that he must feel hurt on some level even if he never expresses. He wouldn't begrudge his siblings because he feels happy Bruce isn't making the same mistakes to them that he did with Dick but at the same time, it's just exhausting for him.

Bruce might have improved but he isn't the best, so now he's busy taking care of both his brothers and sisters and his father. He also has to take care of his friends too.

He has the weight of the world on his shoulders but the worst part for him isn't the actual the weight - it's the realization that he's holding the weight. Because before he could live on in ignorance and bliss that Bruce was always going to be this way, and taking care of him would naturally just be Dick's job. He's so used to it, he's been doing it since he was eight.

But now, he knows what he's doing, he knows he's not supposed to, but he must. Because they rely on him, but also because that's what Bruce made him into. And I think that hurts the most for him.

He'll feel conflicted about it because on one hand, he loves Bruce. He loves him so much, he'll do anything for him. But also what about all those missed opportunities? Could he have been something different? Maybe he could've hung out with the Titans more if he didn't have to deal with bruce constantly demanding his presence. Maybe he could've joined a new class he never thought he would try.

Dick doesn't regret what he did and if he could go back in time, he would do it all over again but...he probably feels melancholic again. To love a parent so much you sacrifice your happiness over and over again so they can be happy while you're forced to grow up early. Dick's personality itself just lends itself to helping others but constantly taking care of your parent?

He's happy but he feels helpless and sad so he stays silent about it all.

It's said that Eldest Daughter Syndrome can make women feel overburdened, stressed out, and constantly responsible for others.

More signs include having a strong sense of responsibility (leading the batfam and hero teams), feeling a need for control (him fighting for his independence against Bruce and fighting to take care of his own teams), carrying the heavy weight of parents' expectations (his entire monologue in Nightwing 1996 about his feelings towards Bruce), perfectionism (Roy grouching about Dick's perfectionist tendencies to Kori in Outsiders and Roy yelling at Batman for it in Batman Plus), struggling with same-age relationships (dating older), and feeling resentment towards family (his outsiders era was him just resenting Bruce in the beginning).

He's been parenting Bruce for so long he was forced to grow up prematurely. I mentioned in my compartmentalization post when Dick's parents have literally just died. And he's forcing himself to act happy because he doesn't want Bruce to feel guilty and upset about not catching their murderer yet. That's not a responsibility a child should have - pretending everything is fine so as not to worry their family. That's the role of a parent. He's taking parenting his own parent because his actual one is incapable of doing so.

But Bruce's greatest fear is that by taking in Dick, he deprived Dick of opportunities to shine. To live in the limelight. And Dick knows everything about Bruce, so he knows Bruce's worst fears. And for this reason, out of the love that he has in his heart, Dick will never tell Bruce if he's hurt him because this is directly connected to his worst fear.

And that hurts. Because vocally releasing anger and sorrow is cathartic but to have it build up silently inside and letting it sink beneath the waves each time is painful.

#dick grayson #nightwing #bruce wayne #batman #eldest daughter syndrome #anon I can't begin to tell you how much I understand #it's exhausting #cl anon asks #thanks for the ask!#anon you inspired me to make a post about this that I'll upload later

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thesnazzysharky · 3 days ago

Text

Ranking the specimens based on how tragic they are (2/2)

Annnnd we're back! Make sure to check out part 1 before this one. Let's get right back to ranking some specimens.

12. Body Bag

For a long while, not much was known about this undead corpse. People had their guesses and theories about who this man previously was; such as some speculating that he could have possibly been a body builder or prisoner of war due to how oddly fit his body is for a corpse. But as for what killed him? The dent in his head could give some implications, but anything could have killed really.

He does have two lines of text that show up before you face him or get hit from him.

"Why did you leave your soul behind?"

"The worm feeds from you."

Assuming that the first line of text is a genuine question coming from him and that he mentions Ghost Cow (the worm) as a way of trying to warn the player. The implication is that he's being possessed by Ghost Cow like the other monsters, which does add some tragedy. Still, not a whole lot to work with here.

That is until a certain chandelure created a fan story for him which was later made canon. That story being that he was once an average dude who worked at 7/11. He seemed to be a pretty good guy, but unfortunately life is often unfair to those who are innocent. His job didn't pay him one day, his health insurance ran out, and he was destined to die due to living in the hellhole that is America and its non-free health care environment.

He then essentially attempted suicide by buying a body bog, crawling into it, and I guess just sitting there until he died from starvation or thirst. This attempt would be unsuccessful as the body bog he bought turned out to be parasitic and paranormal in nature. Making his body decompose, stripping him of any autonomy, yet still keeping him alive. A fate worse than death.

Even when he was found and brought to Karamari Hospital, he could not scream for help. He could not move. He couldn't do anything. So nobody was able to help or save him before he was thrown down in the morgue with the rest of the corpses. Where he would lay dormant there before being used as a puppet by Ghost Cow years later.

Ignoring the obviously silly aspects of the story, it is pretty damn sad. To see someone suffer a fate even though they clearly didn't deserve it is always painful. The fact that his first course of action was to kill himself after realizing he was doomed once his health insurance ran out doesn't help matters and I wouldn't be surprised if something similar has happened in real life before.

Also the part where he can't scream for help once he arrives at the hospital? A specific fear of mine. That is fucked up and tragic. Although the silly parts of the story can undermine the horror and tragedy of it, I think the Body Bag deserves this place on the list.

11. Subject 5

You don't like starving do you? Of course you don't. Nobody does. It's uncomfortable, unpleasant, and when things get really bad? It's downright painful.

Now imagine starving daily and I mean 24/7. You try to eat and eat as much as you can, but it's never enough. It will never be enough. You're still hungry. You still feel empty. You're still in pain. Sounds like a living hell right? That's what Subject 5 has to go through. Subject 5's death screen is pretty easy to understand and tells us everything we need to know. While it was in its test tube, it dreamed of being free from it. It wanted to see what the outside world was like. It was a curious creature that hoped that one day it could learn more about its environment. But once it was free and broke out? It was no longer being fed food from its tube. So it began to starve... constantly.

Subject 5 is just an animal. A scared and confused animal in either a great amount of discomfort or pain. Its freedom turned out to be a curse as its constant hunger would never be satisfied now that it was free. This is probably why the creature stays in the mansion. In the mansion there is an infinite amount of rooms. Plenty of wood, stone, and other materials that it could snack on. Maybe not the best meal, but it's something. Because if it made it out into the wild? It would have starved to death either from either not being able to find enough food or overeating its prey and leaving it in a foodless environment.

These creatures, as there are three of them, will never experience the joy of exploring the world they live in and they never will. They'll forever be stuck in the mansion. Constantly hungry and in misery.

All of that just from one single death screen. Jesus... I think we're starting to enter the "just downright depressing" territory...

10. Gel

Once a human who through unknown means encountered a strange green substance that took over their body. A note that was written by this victim goes into some detail.

"Spouting, Splashing, Soaking. Innards, Ingest, Invoking. Nailing, Never, Stops the Choking"

As described in this note and in its death screen, the Gel absorbs you into itself, which is a very painful and horrifying process. But it doesn't fully kill you by doing this. You're presumably still conscious and most likely in a great amount misery or pain while being trapped within in it. Another fate worse than death scenario here.

The real unnerving part is that it's implied that there are multiple people within Gel as it states "We are one but I am many...". The death quote is presumably coming not from one of the many victims within Gel, but the green substance, the actual specimen, itself. implying that it's sapient to some degree.

Around 100 people are in there. In a hivemind that they did not want to be apart of. Do they hear the voices of all the others? Can they even hear or speak while inside Gel? One of Gel's voice lines sounds like someone within it is trying to say "let me out!". It seems these people can try to call for help, but can't do anything besides that, as the slime they're trapped in is the main one in control.

Gel is an odd case as not much is known about him compared to other specimens, which does bring him down a bit. He still makes it pretty high on this list as the note and death quote does give us enough to work with and it is tragic and unnerving.

9. Deer Lord

Similar to Body Bag, Deer Lord originally was pretty cool but otherwise pretty unknown when it came to what his origins were. Luckily Lost in Vivo was released and explained some things.

He was once a young boy who lived in a poor and struggling family. His family could not find any good or affordable food, so out of desperation, they prayed and called out to Bayagototh. Bayagototh responded by giving them an infinite amount of trees made out of meat, but in exchange, took away the boy from his family. Later being turned into what he is now.

The boy was taken away from his family and had his humanity stripped away from him. The worst part? Some lines of text in his death screens in both the main game and Dollhouse show us what was going through the boy's mind while transforming into his current deer form. Perhaps implying that he still remembers his past humanity in one way or another.

"And I saw, from eyes that were not mine.

And I felt, with a fear I could not reason."

The boy waking up and being filled with fear upon realizing the body he woke up in is completely different.

"And as I slept, and as I grew.

Something stirred, both root and sinew.

I cannot eat, nor can I starve."

The boy getting used to his new body.

"A face on the great tree did I carve.

It spoke to me, it whispered things.

It demands more life, demands more rings."

The boy, now known as Deer Lord, grew to become a great asset in Bayagototh's eyes. Whispering things in the demigod's ear, wanting the him to bring them more victims that he absorbed into his torso. Making him their obedient and excellent servant.

That is all Deer Lord's existence comes to. Serving for some sort of demonic entity instead of being a kid who enjoys playing games or spending time with his family. Does make you question how much free will Deer Lord has exactly.

It also makes you question if Deer Lord even remembers his family. If he does, did he ever try going back to them? Or did he not try due to the fear of no longer being seen as a son to his parents and instead as a horrific monster? No answer to these questions, but it's still pretty sad to think about.

The only thing that could hold Deer Lord back a bit is that he does kill people. Or rather puts them in fate worse than death scenario. Although it is implied he only targets those with and/or a history of aggressive behavior. That and considering the last line in his death screen in Dollhouse, he may be killing others out of obligation more than anything. Doesn't exactly make it better, but there is some reasoning to it.

Either way, I think Deer Lord deserves his spot on this list.

8. The Old Man

What at first seems like some random psycho residing in Specimen 12, turns out to be a pretty depressing character in SJSM. One of the most indepth characters in the game in fact.

The notes in Specimen 12 tell us a story of a man who wandered into the paranormal structure; thinking it was a resting place. He unfortunately ends up falling into the paranormal mansion's schemes. Becoming delusional, paranoid, and soon to be violent. As he runs away and hides from the mansion's previous host, he then comes to the conclusion that he'll kill his stalker so that he can finally be safe and at peace.

He unknowingly doomed himself by doing this. Now he was the mansion's new host and became the exact thing that he was trying to run away from.

We get to know more about this man in Endless Mode. Originally a vlogger who wanted to explore the mansion for his urban exploration channel, only to find himself permanently stuck there. Which adds even more tragedy to his situation. Especially considering that he seemed to be a pretty chill and relaxed dude before we see how paranoid and scared he was in the notes we find in Specimen 12.

The Old Man is parallel to the protagonist. Both went to the mansion to fill their interests. Both wield weapons that they obtained from Deer Lord's forest. Both can end up turning into paranoid, mindless, ruthless monsters if they end up falling into their madness and delusion. The Old Man is a warning to the protagonist about what they could become. Considering that he was a vlogger that ran his own channel, the Old Man most likely wasn't always an old man. He was once a young man, just like what is implied to be the case with the protagonist. A dude who just wanted to share some urban exploration videos to the world because that was his passion. But now he's stuck in the mansion. A mansion within said mansion nonetheless. He has grown old, lost all of his free will, and has become a monster through no choice of his own.

It's awful to think about what his family and the fans of his channel must have felt when he suddenly disappeared one day. Even more awful to think that thousands of people have met a similar fate to him. Really reminds you of just how horrifying and sad it would be to be trapped within the mansion. Not even because of all the monsters that will be chasing and trying to kill you, but because of how much mental damage you would receive just from being in a situation like that. To the point that your mind will break altogether.

7. The Parasite

This is an interesting one. Because the tragedy doesn't exactly come from the specimen itself, but through other elements. Because the specimen itself is obviously downright malicious at worst or just an animal acting on instinct at best. Similar to Gel in a way.

There is one thing that the Parasite represents: Sheer and utter dread and hopelessness.

While in the old GL Labs, you read about an unfortunate GL Assistant who succumbed to this thing. Left in an abandoned facility, frantically trying tear off the parasite as it spreads over their body, all to no avail. There was no chance of escape the moment they came into contact with it. They only thing they could do was leave behind a note warning the next victim. You can't outrun the Parasite. You have to stay close to it.

That brings me to its chase theme. "Getting there", as some have described it, is downright dreadful, hopeless, and depressing. I would save this for a post where I talk about the soundtracks of SJSM, but I might as well talk about what comes to my mind when I hear this soundtrack to drive in my point.

This soundtrack is exactly what I would imagine when you take the word "hopeless" and put it into a track. I imagine this is what was going through the GL Assistant's head as their body was being taken over by the Parasite. Trying to scratch and claw the thing off, only hurting themselves in the process, and soon realizing that there really is no escape from this thing. Dropping to their knees and silently crying to themselves as they accept that there's nothing they can do.

Another thing I imagine is that this is what is going through the protagonist's head upon seeing the creature and having to keep away from it while keeping it close at the same time. A mix between disgust and fear of having to even look at the alien thing and sorrow for the worker who turned into that. They hate what they're looking at, they fear that they could succumb to the same dreadful fate that the assistant went through, but they have to keep it close. Otherwise? They're dead.

Finally, its death screen. Specifically what the binary code states which translates to this.

"You are more than just an animal.

Use the soul you've been given.

And be responsible for your actions."

This could represent 2 things. 1. This is the protagonists fading humanity trying to reach out to them. To no avail, as the Parasite has already taken full effect, thus it comes out in binary code that the protagonist can't understand. 2. This is the previous victim of the Parasite trying to reach out to you, again, to no avail for the same reasons I stated before. Both options are sad. This specimen is just fucked up really.

6 & 5. The Husks and Woormy Charles

I think it's easy to understand why these guys are so high on the list. They're literal children.

Not just that, but these poor kids were stripped of their afterlife, forced to inhabit small and lifeless dolls against their will, were treated terribly in unethical experimentation, punished through inflicted pressure to keep them "in check", and weren't even seen as people by the workers who kidnapped them. And when GL Labs didn't have a use for them anymore? They were just abandoned and left to rot in the Dollhouse.

Woormy Charles rubs some salt in the wound by his note informing us just how much the workers at GL Labs were assholes. He was summoned and kept in a doll, but he broke out of it due to trying to stretch in it and finding it to be too small for him. Instead of just leaving the guy alone or try to give him a bigger doll to inhabit, they just tried the same thing over and over again, leading to more discomfort and pain for Charles. Eventually they chose to lock him behind a steel door, not wanting to deal with him. Disgusting and sad shit.

To add some more tragedy to Charles, it's implied by his death screen, particularly the lines "From these small holes the tendrils of bone finally escape. You are finally free of this constricted bag of flesh." that Charles kills you out of wanting to help you. Making the misunderstanding that you're trapped within a small body just like him. Even in his pain and discomfort, he's a precious little guy who doesn't mind trying to help others, even if his "help" results in unintentional death.

Everything about the Husks and Woormy Charles is sad. Imagine being a child who died early in their life. That's already depressing and sad enough, but at the very least you get to have some peace in afterlife. An afterlife where these kids got to spend some time with their ancestors presumably. That is until suddenly you wake up one day and you're in a strange facility surrounded by people you don't recognize. You're back on Earth, but you're stuck as a helpless doll now. A doll that can and will be used like an object and nothing else.

The concept of having you're afterlife taken away is such a unique and horrifying concept that I'm honestly disappointed that the dlc didn't expand or address it more. These kids most likely already suffered enough from whatever caused their deaths and no longer being able to live with their still living family and now they have to suffer again.

4. Hooked Doll

Everything that I just said prior also applies to Hooked Doll. Although she may have had it even worse. As the quote from her death screen goes into depth about what she went through.

"A 'wicked nasty' child was thrown into a pit.

No food, light or water was ever given to it.

Punishment was dealt, without mercy or hesitation.

As if justified by faith, or ownership from creation.

It was no righteous act, it was hellish, demon sent.

Eventually all will find out, in eternal torment."

It's pretty clear that this is mentioning the Hooked Doll directly. She was punished by being thrown down into the root cellar where she had hooks inserted into her as punishment for being a "wicked nasty" child. With the ones abusing her having no hesitation or guilt about it as the dolls are not "real people".

This traumatized and caused severe pain to the girl and turned her into a dangerous being as a result. The fact that "wicked nasty" is in quotation marks in the original quote implies that she wasn't all that bad as the GL Labs workers thought. She was abused and traumatized for some petty shit most likely. Making it all the more worse. Just horrible.

3. The Hanged Man

This poor guy. He was originally a regular patient at Karamari Hospital and from what we learn from one of Dr. Hamada's notes, he suffered from depression. Something that became worse when he learned about his terminal disease and how he was destined to die.

Things would only become worse once Ghost Cow popped up in the hospital and started possessing the doctors and nurses. The man's antidepressants would be cancelled and he would later be given doses of hallucinogenics which worsened his depression even more and made him become constantly paranoid.

At some point he would end up in the secret laboratory where he most likely went through more pain and torment, through experimentation, before finally committing suicide. That wouldn't end his hell however. Not one bit.

Being the awful hellspawn he is, Ghost Cow did something petty. He just... didn't allow the man to die.

As implied by these two hidden quotes, not only is the man forced to be kept alive by Ghost Cow, but he's fully aware that he's being controlled too. Unfortunately being unable to do anything about it.

The quotes shown above even seem to suggest that the man takes part of self harm or self cannibalism; since Ghost Cow enjoys and feeds off the self inflicted pain and torture the man is doing to himself. Getting a kick out of the man not being able to die despite their attempts at doing so.

This makes the encounter you have with him in the secret laboratory all the more sadder. Like the other monsters, he's not even in control of his own actions. He most likely wouldn't have harmed the player at all if it weren't for Ghost Cow puppeteering him.

The Hanged Man tells the story of a guy who was already having it pretty horrible in life. He was going to die soon thanks to his disease after all. Although it doesn't exactly make things better, he at the very least would be able to achieve peace in death. That and maybe right before his death he would have those he cares dearly about surrounding and comforting him. People that he would never forget even after being trapped infinite loop of suffering. His family.

But he couldn't even have that. He couldn't even enjoy an eternal sleep. He couldn't catch a break. Instead he would be tormented and toyed with. Despite his desperate attempt at suicide, Ghost Cow just brought him back, so he could played around with over and over again. In eternal suffering. If that doesn't sound like a horrifying and depressing living hell, then I don't know what does.

The Hanged Man and the kids mentioned prior are very close to each other in terms of how tragic they are and could easily swap places depending on how you look at it. The Hanged Man gets put just slightly higher than them for me because at least the kids don't have the deal with a demonic entity controlling them, leading to uncontrollable self harm, all while being unable to end the agonizing pain.

2. Baby Face

One of the most bizarre creatures in the game. Yet at the same time one of the most tragic.

Doesn't seem like there's much to talk about on the surface, but there is a very fucked up realization you'll have when picking up one single but major clue. "Old Experiments" is the theme that plays in the secret laboratory in Karamari Hospital. It seems to be more or less associated with Baby Face specifically; as this theme is heard in its Endless Mode chase in the OG version of SJSM.

The title of the theme explains everything you need to know. Baby Face was once an infant who was horrifically experimented on by Ghost Cow. Even if we don't know what experiments the infant went through, let alone how the end of those experiments resulted in the creation of that floating head in a cube thing; we do know that it most likely wasn't pretty or quick.

This is Ghost Cow we're talking about. The same monster who possessed staff and made them kill their patients, tortured a victim of depression, and did all of that with a grin on his face.

An infant. Not even a child. A literal infant who possibly couldn't even walk or talk ended up in the hands of that thing. The thought of it alone and what Ghost Cow could have did in those experiments is incredibly disturbing.

Yet it's still alive as seen ingame... presumably. Rotting down in a basement. Crying and wailing, most likely in pain and misery, to parents that it will never be able to hold it ever again.

1. Taker

TW: Mentions and descriptions of murder, torture, and rape. This is real life stuff we're going to be talking about here and what happened all those years ago was beyond awful. Just a heads up. Similar to how nobody was surprised at seeing Ghost Cow at the bottom of the list, I'm sure nobody is surprised that Taker is at the very top of this list. For some very good reasons.

Through an easter egg, the game pretty much tells you exactly what Taker's deal is.

Unit 731, directed by Shirō Ishii, and where the most horrific, awful, and downright disgusting war crimes you could imagine were committed during WW2. Unit 731 and the other unit locations associated with it have committed all of, but not limited to, the listed atrocities such as...

Use of biological and chemical warfare. Such as the use of rats and fleas infected with diseases which then were spread over Chinese cities (and they were even planning to attack the west coast of the United States with this warfare). Killing thousands. Contaminated food would be developed and used as well.

Victims ranging from the usual man and woman, to literal children, babies, and pregnant woman, were all subjected to the confined walls and cells of Unit 731 and the experiments within it. Where they either faced death or were in a great amount of pain and misery afterwards. Some children in question even grew up and spent most of their lives inside Unit 731, infected with diseases. And when they did die and had no use anymore? Their corpses were incinerated.

Speaking of those experiments, they included things like dangerous or lethal injections, dehydration, starvation, the draining of blood, standard and biological weapons testing, pressure chambers, gas chambers, crushing, burning, electrocution, injection of animal blood or seawater, spinning until death, organ harvesting, removal and reattachment of limbs, and vivisection.

Whenever victims were vivisected, they were not under any anesthetic. So when they were cut open? They felt every bit of it.

Frostbite experiments where victims were taken outside in cold weather and had their limbs frozen from being dipped in water. Ice was chipped away afterwards so the area could be further studied. Sometimes victims would just be thrown out naked in the cold until they died.

Forcing victims into having sex with each other so diseases could be transmitted. Said victims were later vivisected after infection.

Rape was common to force female victims to become pregnant. Children of these rape victims were presumably killed after birth or aborted. Once again to test how diseases like syphilis worked. Even then, rape would usually be committed for no real purpose by the staff other than being bored and having time to kill.

After WW2 ended, the "people" behind these experiments tried to cover their tracks by getting rid of all of their victims and any other evidence. These prisoners were killed either through injection, poisoned food, gas, guns, or being given the option of suicide. Thus there were no survivors and around 14,000 people were killed. Most likely a bit more if we take account of the other unit facilities.

Their prisoners were completely dehumanized. Often being referred to as "logs" and even the facilities they were trapped in were called "log cabins". Originating from a morbid joke among staff due to the cover up story for Unit 731 being a regular lumber mill. Doesn't help that they were also referred to as nothing more than "monkeys" in some of the journals of the "researchers" there.

Even the staff working at these facilities weren't safe. Sometimes they would get sick with the diseases they were trying to experiment with. When that happened? It was off to the operating table where they would be cut open, with no anesthetic, and would experience excruciating pain before dying just like everyone else. The people working in these facilities truly were uncaring, sadistic, and downright demonic, even to their coworkers.

Completely nightmare fuel inducing shit, as you can see. This gives a lot of tragic depth to Taker.

Firstly, the fact that Taker was once a regular human being who even had to go through that horrific shit at all. Being locked in a small cell, being dehumanized, hearing the screams of others, being deprived of food and water, most likely going through severe depression, experiencing agonizing pain before dying through experimentation, ect. Only to become the odd clay being that he currently is now afterwards. Now far removed from being human anymore.

Secondly, the fact that Taker wouldn't even be able to have some peace and quiet after he escaped from Unit 731. He had ran all the to Russia and was "hiding", as CAT-DOS puts it, inside an abandoned farmhouse. Presumably, he was hiding himself away from the world and wanted to be left completely alone. Most likely just wanting to have some kind of peace after all the trauma he experienced. But he couldn't even have that thanks to GL Labs. The most awful thing about his capture from GL Labs was that he was basically going through the same thing again. He had been taken from what he most likely viewed as his home, again. He was put into a science facility where he had little freedom and was under the control of the scientists working there, again. And he would be killed (at least temporarily) when he no longer had any use to the ones trying to control him, again.

Even if GL Labs isn't as disgustingly atrocious as Unit 731, it still is pretty fucking bad (remember the dolls?). One could only imagine the amount of PTSD or burning rage Taker felt once he realized he had ended up in the same position twice.

This is most likely why Taker was very hard to contain for GL Labs to the point where they temporarily killed him altogether. He really didn't want to be there and made multiple attempts at escape.

This brings me to my final point about Taker. What is his motive exactly? Well, he just wants to be human again. Or at least something close to one. He stalks the player the moment they go through the first door. Waiting for the moment where he can "take" them. He wants to "take the dead to take the dead...", as in he wants to take dead bodies so he can take more dead bodies. The final result being having his human body and powers back. So that way he can escape the mansion for good.

At the end of the game, Taker isn't able to succeed in his plan of taking the player, but he does find enough mass from corpses that we can see him absorbing before the start of his boss fight. He can finally try to make his escape, once he deals with and finishes off the pest in front of him.

He unfortunately never achieves such a thing though. Dying in all of the endings. At the very least, the good ending of the Dollhouse DLC implies that he can finally rest in peace. Still, everything I have stated prior about Taker is heartbreaking.

With that wrapped up, I do want to mention 3 more things about Unit 731. Part because I just think they're interesting and part because I think they add all the more to the tragedy behind Taker

1. Unit 731 was ultimately pointless

Whenever Unit 731 is brought up, some people like to point out that "yeah everything that went down there was horrible, but the science we gained is very important!" This is not true.

Frostbite or the "humans are made up of 60-70% water" thing is brought up for example, but it's generally agreed that a lot of the "science" and "research" done by Unit 731 was useless and unprofessional. The unit simply lacked adequate scientific and engineering foundations.

This most likely has to do with Unit 731 focusing mostly on bioweapons and chemical research that they could use for warfare than any real "science". Though it also has to do with a lot of the "research" at Unit 731 being done out of curiosity/sadism. A professor who watched footage of the experiments done at Unit 731 noted that "What medical purpose was served by performing and studying beheadings? None at all. That was just playing around. Professional people, too, like to play."

Was there maybe some findings from Unit 731 that were useful? Yes, but the large majority of it was either useless or could have been found out through more ethical means. Even the humans being made up of a specific percentage of water thing that people point to as being something that Unit 731 specifically discovered, has conflicting sources with how we found that out if you just do one simple Google search and some scrolling.

No matter how much you try to sugarcoat it, Unit 731 was just torture for the sake of torture. Nothing more. Those people died for nothing.

2. The war criminals behind these experiments were let go and didn't suffer any consequences

"Surely these researchers suffered some kind of punishment for what they did right?" Is what most would think upon hearing about Unit 731 at first. It seemed like that was going to be the case at first, but nope. The demented pricks were granted immunity by the government of the United States. Why? Because they wanted their oh so useful research of course!

These guys, including Shirō Ishii who was behind the whole thing, then went on to live pretty regular lives. Some however continued to perform unethical and atrocious human experiments, even receiving some secret funding from the U.S. government. A whole entire pound of salt dumped on the wide open wound there.

3. Japan's government has yet to apologize for or acknowledge Unit 731

Unit 731 and all of the other war crimes from Imperial Japan were, and still are, being treated as if they don't exist. Even when they are acknowledged in history books for example, they are very sugar coated and many details are left out.

It wasn't until 2002 when one of Japan's district courts acknowledged that, yes, Japan has done some very bad stuff in terms of Unit 731 and biological warfare. Since then though? Barely anything, if not, straight up nothing.

This is extremely bad for a simple reason. Why do history classes exist and why are they so important? So we don't repeat past mistakes and learn from those before our time who were much more flawed. What happens when history classes don't acknowledge an important part of history, or worse, sugarcoat or give misinformation about it? Mistakes are going to be repeated, people won't learn, and this will most likely create a snowball effect that will just get worse as time goes on.

The citizens of Japan either know very little or nothing at all about all of the horrible things Imperial Japan did during WW2. Instead of learning about these things and how they could not repeat them in the future; Japan's Government instead wants to put the idea of their country being heroic or being an unfortunate victim of WW2 (the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki for example) into the head of their citizens. No fault of the citizens of course, but it is absurd.

Japan wants to forget about its history and make others in the process also forget about it. The sad part? It's working. Not just with their citizens, but in general. If you go up to the average joe schmoe and ask them about Nazi Germany or the Holocaust they'll most likely go "Oh yeah! I know about them!". Ask them about Imperial Japan or Unit 731 however and you'll most likely be met with silent confusion.

It's interesting yet confusing. You would think Imperial Japan would talked about just as much as Nazi Germany or the Soviet Union when being used as an example of evil and what not to do, yet it seems like it's barely talked about. Even stranger how Japan is often idolized nowadays (to weird degrees) compared to Germany or Russia.

Everything about this is just fucked up, disgusting, and honestly frustrating. Past, present, future, it doesn't matter. It's just horrible.

Apologies for all the history talk, but I really wanted to drive in the point and make it clear on why Taker is at the very top of this list. Unlike all the specimens listed prior, who have tragic backstories, but said backstories are fictional, Taker's origins are based on real events. Real and awful events that to this day have an effect on this world.

Taker shows us how truly horrifying the world we live in can be. Sure, we don't live in a world with ghosts, strange monsters, or aliens looking to terrorize us; but we do live in a world with murderers, psychos, weirdos, and all the other deranged and creepy people you can think of that have some oddities going on in their mind.

Where are all the monsters in our world? They're all around you.

Conclusion

So um... yeah this took awhile lmao

I mean, I knew this would take awhile but damn.

I'm glad that I took my time with this though. This whole project was tiring at times but was still very fun! I'm glad with how this turned out. For now, I'm pretty satisfied with this ranking/tier list.

As for closing thoughts? Well, I will say this. A question that popped into my head while writing out all of this was "Y'know... what makes the specimens so likeable or unique compared to some other antagonists in horror media?". I'm sure many people will have many different answers to that question. For me personally, now that I'm done with this, I would say a factor that makes them likeable and interesting is this.

Often times in horror media the monster/monsters either have nothing explained about them or have a lot explanations and depth to them. If executed right, either option can be great and lead to interesting results. There's something that feels a bit different about the specimens though. They hit this middle ground that feels just right for me and makes them unique in my eyes.

Some information is given about the majority of the specimens in the form of CAT-DOS or notes, but the information given is just the right amount. You may know a few things about a certain specimen that make them stand out to you, but if you dig deeper and analyze the little details, you will come out looking at the specimen a bit differently. You can pinpoint and theorize certain things like what their motives are or why they behave in a certain way. Sometimes, you will view something about that specimen in a different way compared to others.

This is what make theorizing and analyzing these characters (and honestly just this game in general) so fun. Kira gave us some stuff that are made out to be pretty clear, but also some stuff that can be analyzed further or are interpretive by design. The universe of SJSM is like a sandbox. A good chunk of headcanons or theories can be made within it, but the sandbox isn't too big or deep to the point where it feels overwhelming or not fun like FNaF for example.

The specimens are interesting in that the game gives them character without explicitly giving them character... if that makes sense. It's this perfect middle ground between not knowing too much but not knowing too little either.

I don't know. I may just be yapping at this point lol. But I think it's interesting.

Anyways, thank you for reading! For my followers, I have a very small but important announcement that I'll be posting tomorrow, so stay on the lookout for that. Have a snazzy day peeps!

#Sharky Theorizing #discussion #character analysis #ranking #shojs #sjsm #spookys house of jumpscares #spooky's house of jumpscares #spookys jumpscare mansion #spooky's jumpscare mansion

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