#tho not sure if I have enough for a drink too altho

[miss-floral-thief]

Uv at five but pretty cloudy so hope cap is fine

[meowzfordayz]

when you forget to close the door while using the bathroom

Author’s Note: this isn’t nsfw, but it’s ~explicit for other reasons. 🚽🧻💩 #shitposting #literally

when you forget to close the door while using the bathroom

Hashira x Reader, Kamaboko x Reader

Word Count: ~800

CW: explicit language, poop references

~faqs~

Do you even love him ????? 😭😭😭

WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN?!?!?! 🫠😵‍💫🤢

Haunted by your little gasps for air 🙃

Can’t take intimacy srsly for a while

Bc whenever you gasp ~cutely into your kisses 🥰

Zenitsu just flashes back to you doing your best to take a shit 😮‍💨🥴

Highkey takes it as a challenge 😏

A display of dominance, if you will 😎

Nods in approval (not that you can see him)

And takes ~notes for later (aka yes, he is listening closely 💀) 

You don’t know it yet

But Inosuke’s already planning his move

Drink a ton of coffee (he’ll have to ask Tanjirou how to brew it) ☕️

Eat a ton of dairy 🧀🥛🍦

Make sure you’re home 😌

Take a shit (w/ the door open, ofc) 🤗

THAT’LL SHOW YOU WHO’S BOSS !!!!! 😤😤😤🫡

King of the Toilet anyone??? 🚽👑

Wonders why everything sounds louder??? 😬

A respectful gentleman tho ☺️

Will go upstairs to avoid the plops 🫢

Too bad his hearing’s phenomenal, even when hiding on top of the roof 😃

A little irritated 🙄

But whatever

You prob just reeeally had to go

He understands 😶

Will nonchalantly ask you about it the next time you’re out w/ friends 🤨

Is getting ignored for the rest of the night worth it? 🙃

Kinda 🥲

Obanai has regrets 😞

Can smell the situation from a mile away 😅

Tbf, closing the door wouldn’t have helped much 😬

Has to contemplate whether it’s worth embarrassing you over

Like, does he gently ask, “Love, would you mind closing the door?”

Or does he wince grin and bear it

Unfortunately, the toilet paper he would use to plug up his nose is currently unobtainable 🧻☹️

Should he just knock himself out for now? 🤗

You’d prob be upset if he didn’t wake up in time… 😒

Hm… 😔

😵 <— Tanjirou inhaled too deeply

“BAAABE, YOU FORGOT TO CLOSE THE DOORRR!!!!!” 🩷💕💞💓💗💖💘💝

Giggles to herself as the door slams shut 🤭

(you’re not mad, but you had to kick it closed bc it’s a lil far from the toilet seat 😅)

Holds it against you 😌

~

“Shinobu, could you get me a glass of water?” ☺️

“I don’t know, my dear, could you close the bathroom door?” 😃

~

“Shinobu, I want a kiss.” 🥺

“Mm, and I want to forget your pooping noises. I guess we can’t always have what we want.” 😃

Chuckles to himself, at first 🤭

And then becomes concerned 😕

Is it supposed to sound like that? 🙁

Or take this long?? ☹️ Should he intrude? 😖

It’s not like there’s a closed door for him to bust down…

He could just, waltz in-

NO

Internally scolds himself: Bad idea, [y/n] would not appreciate that!

Returns to the drawing board

And settles on a careful (once you’ve returned to him), “So, my love, are your bowels feeling okay?” ☺️

🧐😒😠 <— you

😶😬😁 <— him

“They just, uh, sounded wonderful earlier?!”

“Next time, how about closing the door?”

*Sanemi is casually leaning against a wall near the bathroom entrance*

You shriek 😳

And smack his shoulder 😡

“Sanemi!!!!! Do not wait outside the bathroom like that!!!!!” 😭

“Did you wash your hands?” 😏

“SANEMI!” 😒

“... well?” 👀

You are not amused 😐

He acquiesces 😅

“Okay, okay, I confess, I heard the sink running.” 🤓

“I hate you.” 🥲

“But you trust me enough to shit with the door open.” 🥰

“Piss off.” 🙄

“I’m about to!” 🫡

(bc, y’know, he’s about to go… piss… 😆)

Doesn’t really mind

Will prob forget to remind you about it later 🙃

Until the next time you do it

…

By the fourth incident, Muichiro gives up

If anything, he’s flattered you’re so comfortable around him ☺️

Altho he is a lil worried about your ability to use a public bathroom 😶

Def uncomfortable 😕

But even more uncomfortable at the thought of discussing ~it w/ you ☹️

Giyuu knows you wouldn’t be upset

Or even embarrassed

You have like, 0 shame, as he’s both lovingly and unfortunately come to learn ☺️😬

Which means

If he mentioned it, then you’d likely end up teasing him 🫠

“Love me so much, you’ve even gotta listen to me poop?” 😉

*shudder shudder* 😭

(I mean, yes, he does love you that much, but when you put it like that 🥴)

Giyuu settles on hoping that it was a one time mistake 🤞🙏

Good luck 😃

Tengen’s never letting you live it down 😝

Will write out instructions on “How to Use a Bathroom” 🤓

And stick ‘em on both sides of the door

Step 1: Open the door

Step 2: CLOSE THE DOOR

Step 3: ✨Do your thing✨

[wildshona]

Tiff

When I walked in the room Tiff looked at me and then started screaming at me. Well I guess she was now homeless, and without money and even without clothes except for the school uniform she was wearing for work and which was hardly suitable. so u know u have to take it when the yelling comes. Richard watched from his place on the sofa and Chris came in from his office. Neither of them did anything.

When she rushed at me she could have been about to kill but instaed she throw her arms round my shoulders and sobbed. when she colud speak again it was all sorry and she was glad i was alright she had even thought i might be in a shallow grave somewhere or in the thames.

Chris got her a brandy, Richard left and eventually i took her to my room and we lay there and climbed into bed and fell asleep.

the police raided the next schoolgirl party at the house in Balham. there were enough half naked and more girls under the age of 18 to get Stevie and Michael a good stretch especially as the youngest girl was 12. the dugs in the lock up was icing on the cake. long prison sentences and Michael deported at the end of it.

the police officer who had/had not arrested Tiff let her go in to the Balham house after the police and done with it to get her belongings so she now owned some casual clothes and lots of slut clothes to add to the school uniform now hanging in the wardrobe in the small third bedroom in the flat. Tho she often slept with me.

i got to know tiff well then. she had been in a half way house having come out of foster care when stevie found her. she was trying to get drugs but didnt have money but did have perky tits and a willingness to do whatever. she was stevie's gf 4 about a month before michael decided he liked her more than for just a shag. so she was with michael and that at least kept her off drugs. michael sold drugs he didnt approve of them and no whore of his was going to be gettin hooked especially a whore wh was now what passed as a gf.

tiff saw a lot of girls come and go my predecessors. girls who had stil worked for michael out of flats, and some who had been sold on. some boys too stevie quite liked boys as a bit of variety from girls but not michael - he was a good catholic.

so tiff stayed with us for about three months until richard and chris got a flat sorted for her and a job in a shop. the job didnt last of course. she now strips and pole dances and we did our massage therapy course together tho she uses it more than me - professionally, wink, if u know what i mean.

she also hostesses with me - for me i suppose - when we do events. she can come across well professional when she has a nice black skirt and white blouse. and if there r evening events she is light and fun has a good figure and cocktail dresses and gowns hang well on her. she only has to be pleasant and pretty and make sure everybody is ok and of course they buy her drinks and if occasionally she is invited to a room well we don't require it and any girl can say no. tiff does it 4 the fun altho if anyone offers her a "present" i don't suppose she turns it down.

[atopvisenyashill]

You know how you said that it was stupid that Rhaenys and Viserys didn't marry since that would've united their claims? Well, what if they did marry? What goes down? Who would Corlys marry? And what about Aemma? Does she marry Daemon instead or maybe someone else?

Okay, so this is all wild speculation and opinion so it is NOT written very well. Just follow the train of thought wherever it takes you, don't worry about going down a tangent, it's fine, we're fine!!

SO…I mean okay, if Rhaenys and Viserys grow up believing they’re going to marry, I would imagine a dynamic similar to Rhaena/Aegon, which is to say like, fine? They like each other well enough, Viserys is fine being ruled by Rhaenys, altho there will be inevitable “make sure Rhaenys doesn’t look hotter than Viserys on Meleys” type stuff the way there was with Rhaena not being allowed to ride Dreamfyre bc Aegon’s dragon was too small (I think Viserys was always going to claim Balerion, but I wonder, if he's engaged to Rhaenys, that the dragonkeepers don't encourage him to claim one of the younger, faster ones, so Rhaenys isn't showing him up? I mean no matter what, I don't think Viserys is ever claiming a young dragon. There's The Narrative but also, that man probably hated riding a dragon, he just wanted to chill with Balerion and read to him). So even with the kind of clash in their personalities, you could do worse than marrying a relative you feel okay with in this series, especially as a Targaryen princess, and both Viserys and Rhaenys would realize that.

BUT. if they marry because, say, alysanne or jaehaerys, suggest it specifically as a way of combing their claims and crowning viserys king and rhaenys queen, well that’s a whole different can of worms. that’s probably a worse aegon/visenya dynamic - rhaenys will feel resentful of being tied to & expected to be subservient to his claim, and viserys, eternal people pleaser that expects people to please him right back is um, not gonna cope well with that (see also: his marriage to alicent).

i would imagine in either case they’d take the throne more or less without any problems. i can see rhaenys talking viserys into letting her rule the way visenya & rhaenys did (could she push to be named queen regnant besides his king regnant, a la william & mary?? im doubtful but i do think rhaenys would insist on the ability to make law & run the small council without viserys needing final say, and i think she’d get it too). given that rhaenys seemed on the whole healthier than aemma (largely because she was giving birth at 17 and not 13), i think they’re probably fine in that area but even if the two of them have issues with living sons, well, rhaenys is certainly not about to let her daughter’s claim be put aside for the likes of daemon fuckin targaryen, and she’s going to be a lot smarter on ensuring her daughter takes the throne after her. i do imagine regardless of whatever changes rhaenys makes, gyldayn refers to her as some sort of harpy badgering poor viserys tho lmao. I think she'd be remembered much less fondly than Alysanne and Rhaenys, again more in line with Visenya, because it would be obvious that she resents her marriage, and she would be attempting to actively play politics and make changes, and both Westeros and Gyldayn get really resentful when women Do Things. But the same way no one could check Visenya, no one is going to check Rhaenys because Viserys is not going to check her. While Rhaenys is deeply resentful, and Viserys is definitely feeling weird about his wife, this is best case scenario fo rhim - all the power of a king without the responsibility. He can have his parties, his songs, his drink, and not worry about the line of succession because Rhaenys had kids, and Rhaenys does the ruling.

as for who everyone else marries….kinda depends on what is cooking in alysanne’s psyche in the mid to late 90s lmao. i think the general theory is that alysanne threw daemon in the vale to help rhaenys’ claim (so rhaenys would be uncontested in the crownlands, and probably so daemon would destroy viserys’ support in the vale by being daemon), and tbf there is mountains of evidence that alysanne plans marriage matches based around punishing the person she’s matching. i think in this scenario, alysanne would be outwardly really supportive of rhaenys & viserys but inwardly super angry, resentful, feeling weird about rhaenys being forced to merge her claim instead of just ruling on her own, and she’s gonna take that out on daemon, so his ass is still going to runestone. we don’t know who arranged the aemma/viserys match (could have been baelon given that alysanne was avoiding the capital at that point) and as for Corlys, his attraction to Rhaenys was a) status b) DRAGON RIDER and he doesn’t really get that with any other woman from this era. all that to say…..i’m wildly speculating here because i think it’s unlikely daemon marries aemma, and i also think it’s likely daemon would inevitably get psycho sexually obsessed with a daughter of viserys.

for aemma…i don’t think it’s out of the question that alysanne suggests corlys for her, and if she’s not married off to viserys, i think alysanne takes a more active role in her life. it means aemma likely doesn’t marry until she’s 16/17, but if aly is arranging it, it’s still likely to an old dude. BUT. i actually think borros baratheon isn’t out of the question here - he’s partial valyrian descent, we don’t know exactly how old he is but he’s probably at least in the same ballpark as aemma, and he’s first born & heir to storm’s end. she could also wind up in white harbor, considering the manderlys press the point in the dance & alysanne seemed at least a bit charmed by the northerners, but i think borros would be most likely.

corlys….the thing about him is that he’s pragmatic, ambitious. yes, he loves rhaenys, but both of them are aware of what privileges the other brings to their marriage. corlys is not only ambitious but (imo) he is aching to prove that the velaryons are just as valyrian, just as powerful as the targaryens - having three dragon riding children was important to him. and look at marilda - precocious, curious, intelligent young girls are very clearly his type. he wouldn’t be cruel to aemma but im not sure he could love her as fiercely as he did rhaenys. and he seemed in no hurry to marry either - i think corlys was being purposefully choosey, biding his time until the perfect match appeared. I'm not sure Corlys would wait like forty or fifty years to marry, but if Rhaenys and Viserys have a girl early enough, if Corlys perhaps has a friendship with Rhaenys....does he ask to marry her daughter? OR OR maybe he does marry Aemma, and then encourages her to claim a dragon.

now i'm thinking about aemma the dragon rider, aemma the daughter-wife of corlys. a better and also much worse life for aemma, haha.

[edducard]

OH YEAH I FORGOT TO SHARE THIS

So ik in yee oldie days the clones were kind of a... DID stereotype bad rep sorta thing, iunno how much of that has changed but I run purely off spite so what if I made them actual systems! Along w their hosts being their own kind of person. I ofc am a singlet but I talked w a few system buddies over this cause im cool like that cause representation matters!!!

Gonna add some fun tidbits udner the cut, enjoy <3

Redd is a severely socially anxious guy, like its almost debilitating how bad it is, which is why Edd is sorta front stuck w him because hes super extrverted and helps him with social interaction so he's not freaking out every time someone says hello to him. Tom rarely fronts but he's always kinda lingering there in headspace should he be needed, he's very much a protective alter (hence protector role lmao) but ofc has his own tendencies to take it too far and put them in dangr, which is where Tord usually comes in. He's the other protector who evens out Tom's hasteful nature whenever he does front. Tord is around much more frequently than Tom tho and Edd tries to get them to play tigether on the very rare occasion they front together. Matt is very vain as we all know so him being a caretaker is moreso in the line of him making aure the body is in peak condition! He's the one who makes sure they're loking their best and getting the body to sleep as a reasonable time and showering and all that. He fronts mostly in the morning and at night to do their beauty routine. They decided to fo with the Clone System as a name due to them being... all clones lmao, which btw they are cool w the idea cause they feel they are different enough from their sources that it's not a big deal (altho redd does sometimes have bif worry over it but edds here to help him out <3)

Bad Habits System! Torm is a very quiet kind of guy who is forced to listen to tom and tord yelling in his head all the time. He's usually the only one fronting but sometimes Tom takes the wheel when he's tired. Tom is very different in this system as compared to his source or Clone Sys, he does still drink but hes far more caring and a bit of a worrywart, hence his role as caretaker. Tord will force himself to front whenever the body is in danger and uses his absolutely unhingedass chihuahua personality to get them out of almost any situation (almost being the keyword here.) Pau is a bonus alter that comes w Tord due to my hc of Paul and Tord being very close. Hes a smoker alongside Tord so Torm is unfortunately forced to deal w that nastyass taste in his mouth all the time (cigars from tord and ciga from pau. Nasty.) Pau is different from Paul, hence the semi diff name, and is like a sort of mediator for Tom and Tord. He keeps everyone in line and honestly he just wants them to get along.... He's so tired, bro... They went w the Bad Habits Sys name because, ykno, Toms a drinker and Tord/Pau smoke. Torm doesn't rlly care for either but when stressed he will probably reach for a stick or bottle (addiction runs in the body not rlly the head so its hard to kick the habit even w them not fronting, unfortunately)

[chitsangenthusiast]

Oh oh oh THAT I do wanna know. What do the mallrats steal at their jobs?

mallrats 🥺🥺 that's the cutest nickname for them wtf lmao HERE WE GO

sokka: he used to steal way more when he first started out, but even then it wasn't really that much, and he'll admit that stealing loses its thrill when you don't actually have much of a need for any of it so he's largely lost interest in doing it—that is, until the holidays come around

all those free posters and displays and string lights? taken straight to his car in january and reused for other projects lol bc that is the kind of free stuff he can get behind. he's not gonna let that good foam board go to waste!!!

also: stealing from his store may be boring but stealing from the jasmine dragon isn't, and when i say stealing from the shop i ofc stealing from zuko. he takes whatever he can get away with bc sokka is five and this is one of the ways he flirts, apparently lmao

he refuses to tell zuko just how many of his flannels he's taken from him tho, mostly bc he's pretty sure zuko is letting him steal them on purpose and he's not about to acknowledge his victories could be falsely earned

(he has three. including the exact same blue one he owns, but he couldn't let zuko know he knows he's being set up so he was forced to take it too lol thankfully they wear the same size bc he has no clue which one was originally his now)

zuko: he doesn't pay for his drinks (it's his uncle's shop c'mon) and sometimes he'll take home samples to see if he likes it enough to buy a canister, but nothing much more than that

so zuko steals from sokka's store more, in retaliation to sokka stealing from his store, but unlike sokka he actually goes for the store supplies lol just small things since there's cameras around, and whenever he gets caught sokka just sighs and rolls his eyes at him

(ex: pens, t-pins, receipt paper, sokka's clipboard, sokka's bracelets, sokka's sanity bc he swears if zuko doesn't try to start stealing kisses soon......)

got a little long, so the rest of the cast below!

korra: doesn't really care about stealing anything bc wtf does she need from a clothing store?? but she does inflate her email+phone rewards numbers occasionally by using fake ones

(sokka knows but doesn't really care, since he does it sometimes too. he just keeps track to make sure corporate doesn't catch on)

bolin and opal: aside from taking home the occasional name tag, they play fast and loose with the time clock (if they're getting paid by the second, then they're not going to clock out until sokka is yelling at them!). altho opal does have a habit of hiding things around the store so that she can purchase them later lol

isda: is the reason why 'workplace theft' is even something the corporate retail worries about lmaoo she's worked at this store for ages, she can decide her own personal bonuses, and at this point, she couldn't even give you a ballpark monetary value of all the stuff she's stolen. just know that if you ever suddenly need a cardigan that goes with your outfit, she's got like twelve in her car

toph: she screwed up by working at a place that doesn't have anything cool enough to steal, so she fills this void by stealing zuko's wallet whenever she's bored. it's turned into a competition that sokka tried to join in on, but one sly comment from her about how zuko keeps his wallet in his back pocket made him stop Very Quickly lol

suki: if her store is missing any sort of office supply, you can assume suki stole it. that and all the different types of S hooks they have bc yue uses them for her crafts <3

chit sang: his quitting may have looked spontaneous, but he actually knew he was going to leave with a bang for a good three months. the only reason why it didn't happen earlier was bc he wanted to steal so much shit without getting caught, so he had to spend the time carefully phasing things out of the store first!

(the best thing he stole was one of the rolling carts with the portable tag detacher on it. he has no clue how he got away with that one)

iroh: it's his store so technically you can't call anything he takes as 'stealing' bc at the end of the day the money still comes out of a bank account with his name on it

bonus! katara and bakoda: ok they don't come in often but when they do they steal two things every time:

1. deals, thanks to sokka's employee discount

2. hearts, and sokka suffers literally so much

(he'll never be able to erase from his memory the sound of korra going "oh" when his dads walked in, followed by the extremely far more interested "oh" when she first saw katara. absolutely wretched!!!!!!!)

read mallrat here!

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers Para-Selene Vol. 1 Sakamaki Ayato [TRACK 1]

Original title:  トクベツなオモチャ

Source: Diabolik Lovers Para-Selene Vol. 1 Sakamaki Ayato [CD not owned by me]

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Midorikawa Hikaru

Translator’s note: This is the first Paraselene CD I’ve translated so far where the syndrome does not active in the very first track. Instead we just get some playful and fluffy moments with Ayato. I couldn’t help but giggle at the mental image of MC-chan being rolled up in a blanket burrito and Ayato sitting on top of her. xD 

This track was requested by an anonymous user. If you would like to request a translation, please contact me through IMs or drop an ask!

Track 1 ll Track 2 ll Track 3 ll Track 4 ll Track 5

→  LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

Track 1: A Special Toy

(muffled) “...Oi!!”

Ayato enters your room.

“Oi, Chichinashi! ...What? You’re sleepin’...? You sure have guts for a Chichinashi, snoozin’ away while your Master’s awake...”

*Rustle*

He pulls the sheets aside. 

“Wake up!”

He lightly taps your cheeks. 

“...Wake up, I said!”

You roll over onto your other side.

*Rustle*

“...!? Haah...? Seems like someone has a lot of nerve to turn their back towards their own lover like that. Even though Yours Truly went out of his way to come and keep you company. ...Oi. You sure it’s okay? I take this as a sign that I can do with you as I please.

You remain quiet.

“...Okay, gotcha. In that case, I’ll have my way with you.”

He leans closer.

*Rustle*

“Heh...Hahaha...Don’t come cryin’ to me afterwards, ‘kay? Lemme start off small with this...”

Ayato blows into your ear and you flinch.

“Nice reaction.”

He blows again.

“Hahaha...I’m sure you’re wide awake now, huh? ...!? You’re still gonna sleep!? Fuck! How can you expect me to not get upset when you keep on givin’ me the cold shoulder like that? ...In that case...”

He suddenly wraps his arms around you.

“...Take this...!!”

Ayato wraps you up in the mattress. 

*Rustle rustle*

“There we go. Bet you can’t move wrapped up like that, huh? ...Now if I take a seat on top.”

*Thud*

You start squirming around. 

“Yo. You awake? Too late to make a fuss now tho. Let’s see...What should I do next~? I don’t mind hurlin’ you out of the window like that. Aah...Or even better...”

He leans in close. 

“Should I suck plenty of your blood while you’re unable to move?”

*Rustle*

“Woah there. Don’t just move without my permission. Altho I doubt you’d get very far when I’m sittin’ on top of you like this.”

You protest. 

“Heeh...Look at you gettin’ all cheeky. You really think you’d get away with showing that kind of attitude towards your own Master? Aah!?”

He grasps your chin.

“Oi. Whatcha think?”

You reply.

“Heeh...That’s your answer, huh? Fine by me. Guess I have to punish you, or else you’ll continue to be defiant like this.”

You flinch.

“...Hahaha. What happened to that attitude from earlier? If anything, if this much is givin’ you cold feet, you should have just been more docile from the very start.”

You puff out your cheeks. 

“No, I guess that’s not it. You worked me up on purpose, knowing things would turn out like this, didn’t you? It’s clear as day to me. ...Even tho you shouldn’t bother with that annoyin’ crap and just be honest with me to begin with...If you want it, then just say so.”

You perk up your head. 

“I always give them to you as you desire, don’t I? As much as you want, wherever you want it. ...These fangs of mine. just like this...”

Ayato bites you.

*Sluuuuurp*

“Mm...”

*Sluuuuurp*

“Haah...Ah...Phew...Your blood’s delicious per usual. I can’t drink any other blood anymore...”

You seem doubtful. 

“I’m not lying. I’ve always felt like that. Ever since you became mine, nothin’ else matters anymore. I can’t feel satisfied unless it’s your blood. ...Say, you want it too, don’t you? Right now, you’re makin’ a face that says you haven’t had nearly enough.”

You turn away your face in embarrassment. 

“Say it ー That you want me to suck from you. If you do a good job, I’ll blow you off your socks.”

You shake your head in denial. 

“No point in hidin’ it. Just by touchin’ you like this...I can tell. Everythin’ you want, that is.”

He runs his fingertips across your skin.

“See? Even from your wrist it’s clear as day You’re fillin’ the air with this sugary sweet scent...”

Ayato bites your wrist.

“Mm...”

You wince in pain.

“Aah!? I only grasped it lightly, you know? I barely put in any strength. Besides, you’re the type who feels better with a lil’ pain, aren’t you? ...If you seriously wanna resist, at least put up somewhat of a fight. ...Well, the more you fight back, the worse I’ll treat you tho.”

You remain quiet. 

“What’s wrong? Are you so scared of your punishment, you can’t even move? Or was I spot on after all? That you really do want me after all?”

You get flustered.

“Hahaha...Whatcha gettin’ all red for? Your face looks delicious for real.”

He leans in close to your face.

“I mean, you’d never be able to hide it anyway. Don’t underestimate me. I’ve known you long enough. I can tell what you want at least. In other words, stop strugglin’ in vain.”

You frown.

“If not, I’ll give you pain instead of pleasure. ...Well, I bet you’d still rejoice even if it hurts.”

You avert your gaze.

“Come on...Hurry up and answer.”

You ask for him to pleasure you. 

“Hahaha...Perfect. As you wish, I’ll make it feel amazing. ‘Cause you’re my special toy, remember?”

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

[reversecreek]

✵ zloane , bravier , nyla and sean

ZIGGY & SLOANE

their first impression of your muse:

sexy. tugged on her hair literally the first time he saw her hadn’t even had a conversation bt was just like target? located. going? ✈️ annoy her. probably initially just thought she was only at the skate park bc sean was n was like 🙄 then she cld actually skate n he was like 😏 liked that she gave him shit. found it funny pushing her buttons. liked her eyes. probably was like wtf is in the fuckin water in this town yo why all my friends got hot sisters that shit aint right tryna make me a dog....... not that he was even. phased by betraying those boundaries bt. still. i won’t lie his main first impression was probably jst damn bit hot when she glares at me like that. KJHFSGKSJHGKGHSFKGH

current impression:  

knows her a little more than he likes to know people. favourite person to argue w. can possibly skate better than him bt if she said so he’d be like “ur off ur fuckin tits man” n then practice secretly on his own for hours that night n get 9457295 scrapes. doesn’t like talking abt her dad like him so one time he put a firework in his mailbox n never admitted it was him. has reactions to youtube videos tht make him snort. quite funny in general rly. drinks a lot not that he can judge it’s just sometimes he notices n once he even snatched her cup n drank the rest so she couldn’t. played it off as their typical fuckery bt he isn’t sure what that feeling was. hasn’t been concerned often enough to know it by name. finds her hot at inappropriate moments like when a movie chara’s dying n he’s meant to be sad. finds her hot when she pisses him off too. thinks mayb she likes the excuse to hold onto him when she rides on his vespa but he kind of likes it too so he’s not about to call it out bc “he isn’t about that deep shit”. 

are they attracted to your muse?:  

KFJHGKJGHFGKFHSGKSHGKSFGH. imagine i was jst like no <3... yes. he likes to act like he’s less so than he is bt it’s obvious.

something they find frightening about your muse:

i wouldn’t say it frightens him bt sometimes he catches her looking at him a certain way n it unsettles him but he doesn’t know why. usually just pretends he didn’t catch it.

something they find adorable about your muse:  

he likes her short hair he’s always ruffling it n tugging on it. whenever she hs bumps n scrapes n bruises from falling off her board n getting back on over n over again jst never giving up or giving a fk. when she acts like she isn’t jealous.

would my muse sacrifice themselves for yours?:  

umm. no. he’s an asshole. KGJSHFKGHSKFHGSKFGHKGH. sighs.

would my muse go on a date with yours?  platonic/romantic:  

no..... sees that as dangerous territory wouldn’t wna blur the lines. looks away.

one word my muse would use to describe yours:  

baddie. FKGJHSKGHFGSFHGSKGHSFKHG. demonic (when they’ve had a fight). 

would my muse slap yours if they could?:

no. he loves to argue w her but it never feels that Real u know... more like flirting. even when they’re rly pissed off. wld never enter that territory he hates shit like tht w a passion. cue round of applause from the audience for this absolutely low bar.

would my muse hug/kiss yours?:

i feel like they’re not rly huggy people...... ziggy probably puts his arm around her a lot tho he loves doing that. hs kissed her more times than he can count too n doesn’t plan on stopping

BRADLEY & XAVIER

their first impression of your muse:

funny. mean in a more digestible way than she was used to. he had barbs n she liked the way people winced when they tried to swallow his company. when she got paired w him for a class project she met his eyes across the room n he didn’t quickly look away like most ppl. something abt that intrigued her. a sharp fingernail inside her head kept having to itch at something n she realised it was the urge for him to call her a bad name. this weird craving to hear an angry word inside his mouth just for her. she used to think that’s what someone wanting her was like. still does sometimes. this both pissed her off n caught her attention which is a bit of an accomplishment fr someone who gets bored by everyone n everything.

current impression:  

his heart’s more good than she expected. it felt a bit like having a cat drop a dead mouse at ur doorstep that u don’t know what to do with when she realised that. she felt uncomfortably like her mother when she couldn’t get out of his bed bc she was too depressed n that rly made her feel like. ill honestly. he did all the right things but suddenly she just felt sick abt the whole situation which is Not the normal reaction to ur bf caring about u but bradley doesn’t understand ppl caring abt her. felt more like pity. she thinks he’s better off. she misses him sometimes bt then she reminds herself she doesn’t miss people. does a good job of believing it. one of the best ppl she’s dated not that she’d say it.

are they attracted to your muse?:  

yes..... ws probably. unhinged n rabid when they were dating. very good at hiding it now however. cold at the drop of a hat.

something they find frightening about your muse:

that he witnessed her being vulnerable............ literally grosses her out so much like she’d rather die than. anyone see her like that. when they were dating she’d get paranoid her dad wld somehow find out too n smthn wld happen to him for it. it ws definitely weird for her like the fact she even cared enough to consider tht.

something they find adorable about your muse:  

adorable is rly not a word that fits into bradley’s vocabulary GHSFGHSFKGHSFKG bt hm. maybe if he ever tried to tell her what to do one time even casually. she’d b like awww..... u think i do what anyone tells me? that’s so fucking sweet. 

would my muse sacrifice themselves for yours?:  

in most cases no :/..... however if it was smthn to do w the guys that work for her dad then ya she’d put herself in danger to avoid him being in it.

would my muse go on a date with yours?  platonic/romantic:  

i mean she has in the past bt bradley’s idea of dates is like. starting a bar fight together. getting thrown out of a club n both falling over into trash cans in a dingy back alley. stealing a car. breaking into a random house n fking in a stranger’s bed. fking in the bk of a movie theatre w a horror movie screening. definitely not dinner or anything like tht. she wldn’t now........ they’re not exactly in a place fr that..... 

one word my muse would use to describe yours:  

ex. whatever. i know it’s not one word but “some guy”. FGHSKGHFGKSHG >_>

would my muse slap yours if they could?:

no. she’s a violent person bt not xavier.

would my muse hug/kiss yours?:

NO hugging...................... she fronts like she wldn’t kiss him bt like. if a discussion got heated n they were in each other’s faces who’s to say. 

NYLA & SEAN

their first impression of your muse:

strange little fella which is a very high compliment. kind of reminded them of an animated turtle come to life in the human realm altho they honestly don’t have an explanation for that it’s just the way their brain works. they love the turtles in finding nemo tho so maybe there’s some sort of correlation. very nice face. they kind of wanted to hold his head like a bowling ball just so they could examine it properly. i feel like when they first met him they probably reached out n smoothed a sticky label onto his forehead that said ‘catfish in chernobyl’ n they had one on their forehead that was blank n then they just wafted a pen mid air n were like ‘wanna play guesses?’ even tho that isn’t the name of the game. as if that was just. a completely normal introduction to someone. FGKHSKHGSFKGHSFKG. feel like sean wld have rolled w that tho so nyla was like :P i like.... if they played another round they’d give sean another sticky label that said ‘the loneliest whale in the world’ n then it’d start a whole conversation abt how nyla thinks they can speak whaleish. (whale spin on elvish). 

current impression:  

sean makes them think of that artificial blue raspberry flavour some popsicles have n how it’s always rly fun when they stain ur tongue. sweet n exuberant n leaves a bright impression. he lets them ride on his skateboard sometimes rolling along being lead by them holding his hand n nyla likes to shut their eyes like they’re a bird sailing above the clouds. one of their favourite things to do especially when the sun’s out. bc of this nyla thinks sean was a bird in his past life but not a greedy one like a seagull or a plain one like a pigeon. maybe a bluebird bc of his eyes. he makes them laugh a lot. they entrusted him to babysit their children (as pictured) in his hair for a whole day and night once n they had lots of fun with him so nyla thinks he’s very trustworthy and kind. he also is rly easy to talk to like they cld randomly be like “i’ve been thinking lately that maybe homer simpson could’ve been a good figure skater” n sean wldn’t look at them like they’ve lost their marbles he’d just go w it. they like his company a lot.

are they attracted to your muse?:  

😏

something they find frightening about your muse:

ummm nothing in particular altho one time when they were rly tripping out bc his eyes are blue n it got them thinking abt the ocean n they always think they can talk to ghosts underwater so they were kind of like. thinking abt ghosts whenever they looked him in the eyes. maybe covered their own w their hands n if sean asked why they told him abt it. suddenly he shut his eyes to make them feel better n it turned into a whole thing where nyla had to lead him around the party like a guide dog.

something they find adorable about your muse:  

his nose. watching him talk to his siblings. his hands.

would my muse sacrifice themselves for yours?:  

😌 yea

would my muse go on a date with yours?  platonic/romantic:  

yes............ feel like they’d have fun if they went anywhere tbh........ cn imagine them at a fair eating from the same cotton candy n chattering as they point out things. nyla trying to do that hammer game where u make the meter reach the top n lifting the hammer in the air n falling backwards bc it was heavier than they anticipated.... sean yelling like man down man down..... mayb they take a tab n suddenly the fair is so scary they’re like 😳 we’re in danger...

one word my muse would use to describe yours:  

silly (affectionate). sailor (also term of endearment). gnome (same thing again). cool.

would my muse slap yours if they could?:

no ur sick....

would my muse hug/kiss yours?:

ya to both. jst suddenly had a vision too of nyla being cold one time n clinging to sean from the front like a bushbaby in a hug as he carries her around. suddenly this mode of transportation hs happened more thn once (godmod) (contact my lawyers if u dare bebe) (bitch) (i take it back) (it wasn’t right alli it jst wasn’t right) (pelase forigev m eim shakign)

[stalksbyakuyatogami]

IT IS I THE cOWBOY SIMP LAWYER

SORRY ONCE AGAIN IVE BEEN LACKING ON SENDING ENCOURAGING ASKS, IVE BEEN BiT UNDER THE WEATHER, BUT I AM HERE TO SHARE WITH YOU remINDERS TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND SOME PERSONAL HAPPY NEWS THAT I WANT TO SHARE WITH PEOPLE BUT I don't HAVE MANY FRIENDS SO IM SHARING IT WITH MY FAVORITE DANGANRONPA WRITER!

So HOW ARE YOU? I HOPE YOU'RE DOING WELL, REMEMBER TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF MAKE SURE TO GET ENOUGH SLEEP AND DRINK LOTSA WATER AND EAT YUMMY FOODS!!

AND THE NEWS I WANTED TO SHARE IS, THAT I'VE BEEN LEARNING TO DRIVE AND TODAY I DROVE ON THE ROAD FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME! AND I DIDN'T CRASH OR HURT ANYONE! 🤓

ANYWAYS I SHALL NOW RIDE AWAY ON FRED THE BELOVED HORSE 🐎

I shaLL BE SENDING YOU MORE ASKS IN THE FUTUREE!

Remember to TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF BYE!

-✨The simp lawyer✨

a bit long so

HELLO CSL MY BELOVED WELCOME BACK

im sorry i just responded now, ya boi's got memory issues

i dont mind, the absence, altho i miss your presence :)) i hope youre okay now tho,,,

i am trying my best to take care of myself, thank you for reminding me!!

i am excited about the news omg, im glad that you consider me as one of your friends now TwT

WHAT OMG THAT'S SO COOL OF YOU ;OISDJEGIHRUFNJNT IM GLAD YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE NOW OMGGGGGG IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU GOOD WORK sending hugs :))

what you drive tho? a car? bicycle? motorbike?? either way, cool! youre very cool!

take care of yourself too! and Fred!

thank you for dropping by!

[littletantrums]

So here's the run-down on the past like 4 months of my life lol

at the start of May, one of my cute regulars at work started flirting with me so i gave him my number. we went on a date and i'm not gonna say i was already in love after it but i was definitely falling hard and fast for him. he moved in with me after 2 weeks.

end of May i started really struggling with money because i am a fucking idiot and being in love for the first time makes you go Crazy apparently lol

start of June, turned 19, got a pinup tattoo of the Hex girls started on my leg

end of June got promoted to shift lead at work. some strain started on me and Babe's relationship because he drinks too much (he has since realized i was right and is trying to do better)

start of July, Babe got into a fender bender because he's blind on his right side (everyone was fine, his headlight was just crushed). (TW) i noticed i'd gained some weight, so my ED started acting up again

end of July, me and Babe were having a lot of issues, unbeknownst to me, because he does this thing where he doesn't talk about his feelings no matter how much i ask him to (he's getting better about it)

first week of August, Babe moved out, and he lied to me about why. After a week of him effectively ghosting me, he cancelled on our plans to celebrate our 3 months, and i went a bit nuts.

second week of August i pretty much force him to break up with me (told him he NEEDED to give me an answer as to whether he wanted to stay together or break up, and i said that i'd rather break up for now and get back together later on than stay together for now and break up later on). he did break up with me.

third week in August, i pick up a FWB because fuck it i was single now. halfway through the week i find out from Babe's sister that he's seeing a girl. i was absolutely fucking crushed that he was able to move on emotionally that quickly.

last week in August, Babe and I start to be kind of friends again. i find out that while he's not unhappy in his relationship, he was certainly not happy either. he seemed to be the only one that was unaware of that fact (or he just wouldn't acknowledge it, who knows).

(BIG TW) while i was at FWB's house, a couple days ago, Babe calls me, sobbing, and says he's gonna khs. Obviously i fucking panic and beg him to tell me where he is. It takes 20 minutes for him to tell me he's at a specific church that's supposed to be a 40 minute drive from where i was, and I made the drive in 25 minutes. First thing that he does when i get there and jump out of my car to open his driver side door is he kisses me (while still sobbing). He's burying his head in my chest and saying sorry for a million different things while i just tell him "everything's okay baby, i got you, everything will be alright" for a solid 5 minutes. We get past that and I spend about an hour talking him down, and by the end of it we're both just so relived and everything feels okay again. He was pretty drunk so i hung around for like 4 more hours until he started to sober up. He promises me he's going to break up with the girl because of many reasons he listed (that have nothing to do with getting back with me, altho he did say that she was absolutely a rebound for him). I kiss him a few times (i still feel guilty for it tbh bc they hadn't broken up yet). When he's finally okay enough to drive, I follow him home to make sure he gets there safe. I get home half an hour later (at like 6am) and text his sister what happened. Last night when i was at work, his roommate (one of his best friends, who does Not like me) showed up at my job and thanked me for what I did. I wanted to say he shouldn't be thanking me for doing what any normal person with empathy would want to do, but i didn't cuz i just didn't know how to say it right. He tells me that Babe's brother-in-law and him are going to have a talk with Babe that night about what happened, and he jokingly said he was gonna beat the shit out of him. We've all been keeping a really close eye on him the past couple days and we're continuing to do so, but it seems like he's not in that bad of a place anymore

Tonight, Babe told me he does want to get back together but he (understandably) needs some time to himself first. We got up to some shenanigans in his car tonight tho because the girl really wasn't doing it for him, and he finally broke up with her, lol.

(TW bugs) also i have bed bugs rn and im mildly allergic to them so even though i'm sleeping completely away from them and i've also fogged out my room like 6 times, the bites that i have are bad enough i need to take 2 benadryl every night and every morning just to be functional so that's FUN

[bananonbinary]

if you have any more thoughts on martin having an eating disorder, i'd like to hear em (if u don't/ don't wanna share, that's ok!)

first off: at the risk of tmi, im drawing a little on personal experience and ive never been diagnosed beyond “that’s really not healthy and we need to fix it,” so i dont actually know what disorder this is, specifically.

anyway.

martin does in fact drink a lot of the tea he makes, because it helps to have *something* in his stomach, and he doesnt want people to worry about him not eating. basically any time he feels hungry he’ll go and make himself some tea instead.

he also NEVER eats from communal eating spaces like the office breakroom because if u think his mother didnt yell at him for snacking at home or eating food that wasn’t “his,” you are wrong. he knows that looks weird tho so sometimes when other people are already eating (it’s fine if someone else starts, right?) he’ll give himself permission to grab like a banana he brought from home or something.

he DOES usually eat meals if other people are there to see (which, if hes around they usually are, just cause he doesnt eat well doesnt mean he wont bug everyone else about it), its just like. stuff that he feels its “acceptable” for a fat person to eat in public so its usually a small sandwich or some shit. never takeout or frozen if he can help it, altho he’ll often go for that at home for money reasons.

he used to go through cycles of restriction and binging, but once he started living in the archives he was around other people too much and was pretty much just restricting all the time. this...unfortunately didnt really ever let up, because everything just kept getting worse.

obviously, the whole prentiss situation made things even harder on him. a lot of his go-to food became triggers, so his already poor diet became really unbalanced.

things were actually the worst for him when not!sasha was around, because she (and jon’s breakdowns) made him paranoid that people would KNOW, people would SEE (he’s not even sure what, but they WOULD) and he pretty much didnt eat at all at work.

this fed into all the shit in season 4 because its actually incredibly lonely to constantly be watching other people’s self-care habits and know that no one’s noticed your own. ironically, he had the chance to eat a bit better around then, because no one was around to see, but the constant dissociation just made it easier to ignore so it wasnt really better or worse in the end.

jon kinda noticed all this early on? especially when he was stalking everyone lmao. but like. his own issues with eating properly and his general...everything at the time made him feel like it wasnt really his place to say anything.

by the scottish honeymoon tho he’s been on the receiving end of martin’s caretaking so many times that he basically just copies that to bully martin into actually eating the proper amount. theres kind of a running competition of who can outdo the other with “i made an elaborate meal for the two of us this evening, now you’re OBLIGATED to eat something, you bastard.” also just general turning concern back on the other person. its all very sweet and gay.

jon genuinely finding martin beautiful and lovable and helping him with his self-esteem issues also helps a lot.

its weird, because you’d think trying to tackle a decades-long issue on top of all the other bullshit they’ve been through would make things hard, but Martin is basically having to relearn how to be a person and actually sit in his body again anyway, after the Lonely, so this just feels like the natural time for recovery. when he’s already asking himself “am i sad, am i distressed, am i cold,” its easy enough to add “am i hungry” to his (and jon’s) check-ins.

after the eyepocalypse, they obviously dont need to eat anymore, but jon doesn’t want to undo all martin’s progress and reassures him that he’s always allowed to eat just because he wants to, so he still makes an effort to scrounge up small things as theyre walking. a little package of cookies, a bag of chips, a loaf of bread one time. its not like expiration dates mean anything anymore, and they could both really use the small comfort of pretending to be human for a bit.

[mira-shard]

Fluff Alphabet (Marina X Jae edition)

Thanks for tagging me @mizutoyama!  💖

-------------------------------------------------------------

A= Attractive (What do they find attractive about the other?) The first attractive thing Marina noticed was Jae's defiance of the rules. She strongly believes rules shouldn't always be followed. One of the most attractive things is how loyal Jae is to his family. Jae loves Marina's sense of adventure and loyalty. During their first trip to knockturn alley, she almost immediately became ride or die for him and loyalty means a lot to him.

B = Baby (Do they want a family? Why/Why not?) Both of them always thought they'd grow up to have a family. But when the wizarding war came they decided to wait until everything was over and settled down. But life had other plans as it turns out Marina was pregnant during the final battle at Hogwarts. Once things had settled down they decided to expand their family when they both felt it was safe enough to do so.

C= Cuddle (How do they cuddle?) Preferbably with Jae on his back and Marina on top of him. Marina's very clingly while cuddling and Jae likes being able to grab a drink while cuddling cause she ain't getting up for hours (Not like he actually minds)

D= Dates (What are dates with them?) As long as it's the two of them and they're having fun away from the castle? It's a date. Sometimes when they're joking around they call detention a date.

E= Everything (You are my ____ (e.g. my life, my world…)) Marina: You're my safe place. Jae: You're my partner in crime. Marina: .... This shit is equally dope. Jae & Marina: You won't believe the kinda shit that comes out of this kid's throat (I had to, they totally would)

F = Feelings (When did they know they were in love?) Alright, so I actually wanted to write a two shot fic about them realising their feelings for one another but basically; Marina realised it when he was comforting her after she broke down from the pressure of the portrait vault. When Jae told her she was just one girl and that it's okay to take a step back for her own sake, she felt really seen and vulnerable and that made her realise it. Jae realised his feelings during a divination class. They were paired up together and sure, he thought she was attractive but when he noticed how sweaty his palms were and she just took his mind of it by talking about a prank they could pull on Pitts or adding something other than sandwhiches to the menu. It was those little things that made him think "Oh, shit. I love her."

G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?) Iiiiiiii honestly don't know if this question is like, slightly NSFW?? But considering it's the fluff alphabet XD Yes, they're quite gentle with one another. Sometimes they can play a bit rough, like wrestling or shoving one another, but most of the time they're careful around each other.

H = Hands (How do they like to hold hands?) They actually rarely hold hands. They prefer to link arms cause, well, when you're walking through knockturn alley it's quicker to draw your wand that way. Plus Marina likes staying as close as possible.

I = Impression (What was their first impression?) Marina immediately noticed Jae was a joker during their first detention together. When they talked about the things they did to get into detention she thought he was sneaky and someone who would sell her out to Dumbledore for a galleon. Luckily, he proved her that that assumption was completely incorrect. Jae thought she was kinda cueless when he saw her stare at the bread in confusion. He assumed she never had to do it before and was probably a rich kid who would complain about detention. Some of their first assumptions about each other are completely inaccurate but they got ofter those assumptions once they spent more time together.

J= Jealousy (Do they get jealous?) Marina gets jealous easier than Jae does. Marina's jealousy mostly stems from her own insecurity and can be a little bit petty about it, but Jae isn't one to avoid confrontation and calls her out on it if she's acting up when they're in private. Jae rarely gets jealous cause he's quite easy going and is confident in Marina's feelings about him. On the rare occasion that he does get jealous, Marina noticed quickly and gets a bit more affectionate and PDA to reassure him non verbally.

K = Kiss (How do they kiss? Who initiated the first kiss?) Some quick pecks during detention or in the library are quite common. But the longer ones are in places where they can be alone, both prefer privacy and aren't that much into PDA. Unless Jae is in a teasing mood. As for their first kiss, it was in the restricted section of the library. The two snuck in to find something they could use with either the vaults or useful information. Marina noticed a book she also had at home that she loved reading as a child. She started fangirling slightly cause it's very advanced magic and Jae thought she looked so adorable, like a kid in a candy store, so he couldn't help himself and kissed her.

L= Love (Who says ‘I love you first?) Marina did, in their seventh year. I still need to figure out a few of the details there.

M = Memory (What’s their favourite memory together?) Probably will be the summer festival side quest. Will definetely write a one shot about it once it comes out. But for now I'd say the time they made fudge together for Pitts.

N = Nickel (Do they spoil one another? Do they buy the person they love everything?) Jae gives small gifts from time to time, like a banned item he think she'd like or find useful. Most of his gifts are practical or cute. Sometimes he wishes he could spoil her more but Marina reminds him she prefers his company over anything material. Marina comes from a very wealthy family and loves spoiling her friends, but sometimes she takes it a bit too far. Jae doesn't mind it that much but had to explain to her that sometimes he prefered a hug over some kind of expensive item. That conversation took place a few times before Marina finally managed to reel it in. (She still goes all out on occasions like Christmas or Jae's birthday-) 

O=  Orange (What colour reminds them of their other half?) Marina immediately thinks of yellow, cause of the signarture "gold" hoodie. Jae thinks of purple, without a doubt.

P = Pet names (What pet names do they use?) They only started using pet names to tease one another but somewhere along the line they started saying some of them unironically. Mostly in private, tho. Marina's usual pet name for Jae is "darling," and Jae only ever really calls her "kitten." Altho that one is purely to tease her for her animagus form.

Q = Quaint (What is their favourite non-modern thing?) Exploring Hogwarts. The castle is very old and has more secret passways and tunnels than they could probably ever find.

R = Rainy Day (What do they like to do on a rainy day?) So there's a hidden room in the dungeon that's under the black lake and is entirely made of glass. The ceiling, the floor, the walls, you can see trough it all, as if you were in the lake. These two love to just go there and stare at all the mermaids and sea life that goes by while they sneak in some blankets, pillows and some butterbeer.

S = Sad (How do they cheer each other up?)

When Marina is upset, physhical affection works almost always. Something as simple as holding her for a few minutes calms her down pretty often. She just needs a safe spot to let all the tears out.

When Jae gets sad, he rants to let it out. He paces around in the room while ranting and Marina listens quietly. Once he's done she'll pull him in for a hug and tries to talk about whatever the issue is. If Jae doesn't want to talk about it, she'll start making stupid, corny jokes to make him laugh.

T = Talking (What do they like to talk about?) Practically anything. For Jae it's cooking, pranks, how to bend the rules, hobbies and interest and funny/weird things he noticed. Marina loves talking about advanced magic, gossip she learned from the mermaids, quidditch or joking around in general.

U = Unencumbered (What helps them relax?) Jae likes to take long walks outside of the castle to help him relax. Marina prefers to stay in a room with some music on, where she won't have to do anything but just breathe. If they both need to relax they often just take a quaffle and toss it around while making small talk.

V = Vaunt (What do they like to show off? What are they proud of?) Jae likes to brag from time to time, most of the times it's about a new recipe that he got in one try, or an especially difficult item that he managed to sneak in. Marina mainly brags about things related to quidditch. Only very sometimes when people are being annoying she brags about the cursed vaults to make a point.

W = Wedding (When, how, where do they propose?) Hehehehe, no spoilers ;)

X = Xylophone (What’s their song?) Can't help but immediately think of Rollercoaster by Bleachers, not sure why. They don't really have a song yet, but maybe that'll change?

Y = Yes (Do they ever think of getting married/proposing?) Honestly? Neither never thought about it seriously in the beginning. It's about two years after they graduated when they decide together that they'll start considering it but sadly then rumors about voldemort returning showed up.

Z = Zebra (If they wanted a pet, what would they get?) Marina wanted a kneazle, Jae a crup pup. They end up getting both and named them, ironically, Merlin and Arthur.

--------------------------------------------------------

Tagging @hanihonii perhaps you would like to do it~? Cause I wanna know more about Stephanie and Ben  👀

[tfw-no-tennis]

mtmte liveblog issue 35

ooooh baby functionist universe time

the cover with the neon ‘everything is fine’ sign is rlly good but also the pile of dead data stick bots makes me so sad omg noooo they're so cute leave them alone :( 

minimus and rewind...! its so cool seeing them interact

also I just love the crowd shot, and you can immediately see that there are a ton of data stick bots like rewind around - which isn't what we’re used to at all

also some good ole totalitarian govt stuff like the ‘you are our eyes’ sign (which, in retrospect, is fucking evil damnnnn)

also I'm so [eyezoom] on this functionist universe stuff bc like, this is basically the only time we ever see dominus be a character (rather than hearing abt him thru other characters), and even so he remains pretty ambiguous 

like, minimus clearly isn't thrilled that dominus didn't show up to see him at the space airport or w/e when they've been apart for two million years - and even tho we later see why he didn't show up, it still shows that there's some tension there

the amount of crowd shots in this issue is insane 

oooof, the fact that they sold luna 2 - and to the black box consortia, who we just heard about last chapter when they previously got into a space battle w/the galactic council and the djd

fu!minimus being part of the primal vanguard is interesting, I wanna see more about that. what was he doing w/them for 2 million years?

rewind just casually saying this completely fucked stuff, like that the govt ‘outlawed the intellectual class’ and ‘deported the knock-offs’ (which I'm assuming is cold constructed bots?)

I really like the sense we get thru minimus and rewind’s convo that all of this fucked up stuff has happened slowly enough that its become almost normal - like, they talk about it casually, even though its clear they don't necessarily agree with any of it 

plus the sense of ‘even if things get really bad ill be okay’ that both rewind and minimus seem to adhere to - rewind having been upgraded from being in the disposable class due to his connection w/dominus, and minimus saying ‘I like to think that obsolescence is something that happens to other people’ 

I love all the fucked up signage this issue. ‘take pride in being a means to an end,’ yikes

god and the fact that there isn't MORE data sticks, there's just LESS of other alt modes bc of how many alt modes the govt has wiped out completely...

oof, and continuing the whole ‘slow change’ thing - minimus saying that ‘the council never touches the astro class,’ and maybe that used to be true, but the govt will keep pushing that line, clearly...

and we get to see minimus’s alt mode! altho we the readers know that this isn't minimus’s true form...

‘amazing, the lengths some people will go to cross class boundaries,’ minimus says, as if he isn't doing exactly what rewinds describing, but even moreso as a loadbearer wearing an entire suit of armor

and then the casual public execution of the last lunabot...oof.

love the ‘cybertron. the present day’ text overlay...I was so confused about this when I first read it lmao. I figured it had to be some sort of au/quantum nonsense but STILL

back on the lost light, chromedome is going full kool-aid man on rewinds door

mannnnn I absolutely love the plotline of rewind 2 and chromedome 1...im so glad the story acknowledges that they ARE different, they did experience different stuff on their own lost lights, and rewind 2 being a quantum duplicate doesn't mean he had the same experiences as rewind 1...

and I love so much that chromedome just Doesn't Get It, bc of course he wouldn't - he’s too relieved that rewind is back to even consider that its not quite the same, that the rewind he was forced to blow up is still dead (which is a fucked up thought, so of course chromedome, the master of pushing the past away and moving right along, would want to avoid thinking about that in favor of continuing his relationship w/rewind 2)

it also makes a lot of sense that rewind, who records everything and puts a huge emphasis on history/the past, would be hyperaware of all the differences between him and rewind 1, and his chromedome and this chromedome

AUGHHHH and chromedome referring to an offer he made to rewind that was pretty clearly ‘if your memories of the djd slaughter are too much, I can remove them for you’ ooooof...I love these two so much, like...their absolute opposite approaches to trauma is fascinating

oooh mannnnn and then rewind starts ‘remembering’ stuff from the functionist universe...the plot thickens...!

I really like how one of the main ‘things’ in a lot of tf universes is energon/energy shortages, its interesting when the angle is kinda like, ‘energon is a finite resource and the methods to obtain more often involve destroying other planets,’ that's a pretty unique, alien problem for the tfs to have

it also makes sense that the functionists would form partially in response to that (perceived) shortage, and any sort of scarcity would push them further into their extremist views

I like how expressive the characters with visors are...its cute...

poor rewind has to go thru So Much

WHY can just anyone go into the morgue and touch the dead bodies. I mean I guess megatron being one of the captains explains why he’s in there, but that still shouldn't be allowed 

‘megatron mountain’ vhbjdkshfbjskfbhhk that's so fucking funnyyyyy I love rodimus....I quote that line a lot, especially when watching g1 lmao

the fact that swerve diluting his engex bc he’s a cheapskate saved everyone's s lives is amazing lmao

also like...damn brainstorm sure tried to murder Literally Everyone huh. like I guess the logic would be that if he succeeded in changing the past it wouldn't matter that they had died there cause the timeline wouldn't exist, but STILL. I guess that shows how confident brainstorm was in his plan

it makes so much sense somehow that rung doesn't drink. and we’ve seen firsthand why magnus doesn't lol

mannnn that panel of brainstorm shooting magnus with some wacky beam and causing the magnus armor to fall off in vehicle mode...Super Cool, just peak mad scientist vibes there

ok but if minimus switches to alt mode when ultra magnus does - as we see here, where minesweeper-minimus is inside big-ole-car-magnus - does that mean that inside the minesweeper is turbofox-minimus?? I want to seeeee

ghsdufjkbvksadfbhjs the panels of rodimus telling megatron that brainstorm time travelled are so fucking funny

and megatrons rant about how absolutely bonkers the lost light is....hvbhjdskfbasjh that's so funny oh my god. like yeah dude you're right and you gotta roll w/it sorry 

'on this ship, a minor breakdown is practically a rite of passage’ vbjdsnfbkasdfn its true and I love it

goddddddd it kills me how at this point in the story its So Obvious to everyone that brainstorm travelled back in time to do evil decepticon double agent stuff - and we as the reader can even buy that bc brainstorm has been so sketchy until now, and nothing he’s done contradicts what rodimus suggests - but it turns out in the end, it was all just for love. AUGHHHHHHHH its about the LOVE!!!! that's why I love this arc so much.

back in the functionist universe - god I cant believe rewind waited until Now to reveal to minimus that dominus has a tv face...like I get that that's a difficult topic to bring up in conversation but like, a little sooner might've been good hbvhjkdhnfbjaksl

oh man it hurts...rewind saying that they're in a ‘blind spot...’ oh man :(

rebel rewind, tho!! I love it sm

oh man and rewind never even broke the news about dominus to minimus oof. that's a tough reveal 

MANNN I really like the whole ‘flathead’ thing, its so awful and brutal. its such a logical extension of empurata, and as dominus says, once people get used to seeing empurata’d bots, it loses its punch...and the flatheads thing is even more invasive 

and writing wise, both empurata and the tv-heads are such good devices to show evil govt bs. I talk abt it a lot but I like all the ways jro gets creative with the ‘alien robots’ thing; a lot of these concepts wouldn't work at all with humans or other organic aliens

GODDD and dominus’s chilling speech being interrupted by the functionist propaganda....fucking horrifying I love it

also seeing dominus here is fascinating - clearly the council managed to pin him down enough to turn him into a flathead, but they never discovered his true alt mode...same with minimus, actually 

the cog is so fucking ominous. just floating there...

and the council is scary too! their names, and the fact that they all look the same...seems about right for an evil alien governing body

mannnnnnn and then the reveal that the data slug alt-modes will be ‘recalled’ next...rewind noooooo...and the one council guy even admitted that they still served some purpose in society, BUT that their ability to mass store data made them dangerous to the goverment...evil!!

meanwhile, rodimus doesn't know enough about science to be appropriately frightened about their timeline being wiped from existence, so he’s having a grand ole time

‘no one’s nodding, perceptor’ bvhjdbfasdfhbk their expressions....the lost light command crew are all clearly team ‘leave the science to the scientists’ lmao

I do love the paradox stuff, and brainstorm’s way around it all 

‘so I'm not allowed to take an interest in magic?’ hvbjhsdkfbjhkdf ily sm rodimus

but also like....rodimus suggests a parallel universe could've formed and perceptor is like ‘no way, that's not scientifically possible,’ as if brainstorm didn't basically defy science by time travelling at all...and more to the point, functionist cybertron DID get created, so rodimus was actually RIGHT this time

love that we’re already seeing perceptor’s admiration for brainstorm and his invention even here....sapiosexual mfer

a time travel chase....so beautiful...I love sci-fi so much

seriously time travel is one of my favorite tropes ever, this arc was inevitably gonna be my fav 

‘he’s going to kill orion pax.’ DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNN

meanwhile, on functionist cybertron...aw, is that bulkhead? great cameo! oh wait what's going on with all the data sticks...? uh oh!

the fact that their heads just EXPLODE....soooo fucked!! 

god and then the council picks up their dead bodies, for...probably something evil, I’d assume

god and then dominus got even more fucked....

‘there are certain words you cant afford to lose’ ;_; REWIND....GODDD IM SAD 

GOD GOD GOD the reveal that minimus has CAMERAS in his EYES GODDDDDDDDDDDD that's so FUCKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and rewinds reaction...ME TOO BITCH TF!!!!!!

all the ‘you are our eyes’ messages are even worse now huh!!

they did it while minimus was asleep...that's so fuckedddd

FUCKKKK and then rewind’s impassioned rebel speech, which I adore.....rewind ily sm...he’s such a good revolutionary, I wish we could've seen him leading an anti-funtionist rebellion....BUT THEN ‘oh? what about the back up?’ and its just like HHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH and then his head starts smoking and we see another billboard, but this time it says ‘WE are your eyes’ - is the implication that everyone is now a surveilling spy, whether they like it or now, so now it’s ‘we?’ like, we’re all in it together, spying on each other! ooooof

also. this is like the third time rewind has died on-screen in this series lmao (well, if you count the fake-out death where he thought he’d be cancelled out during slaughterhouse)...he ALMOST died in issue 12 too....poor rewind

‘the custom-made now’ is such a great title. jro always killin it w/the titles

plus ‘elegant chaos’ is such a cool arc name. fucking epic 

M A N NNNNNNNN THIS ISSUE WAS BALLER...this ARC is baller....I talked a lot hvbhdjkhfndsak lmao but there's so much to talk abt!!! I love the look into the functionist universe, I love seeing alternate versions of characters and settings so much, and I love time travel, so this issue is basically made for me

plus I fuckign love alien robot politics and seeing the absolute control the govt has over cybertronian society in the functionist universe is fascinating - plus from a storytelling standpoint, I think it was brilliant to show the ‘other side,’ aka what things would've been like without the war...which is something ill talk about later when its more directly addressed in the story but man do I enjoy that 

basically I love this arccccc I cant wait to read more hhhhhhh

[professorspork]

ANOTHER BUSY DAY IN THE ANDROMEDA GALAXY

I started the day running errands on Havarl, culminating with finishing off Jaal’s loyalty mission! I took Vetra with us thinking ‘hey, if anyone knows sibling dynamics...’ but then she factored into all of that absolutely 0%, lol @ me. but no matter! Jaal was super flirty as we made our way to the Forge, and it was adorable when he was like “HERE MEET MY FRIEND SO YOU CAN SEE AKKSUL IS WRONG” and bodily dragged me toward his siblings. their fight was absorbing and intense; I LEGIT GASPED WHEN HIS SISTER SHOT HIS BROTHER. LIKE!! the whole confrontation with Akksul felt super weighty and I really enjoyed it-- keeping my trigger discipline to not shoot that dude was really hard! there was a split second there where his bolt was headed toward Jaal’s face and I was like “if I kill off Jaal in his loyalty mission I’ll be so upset” but nope it all worked out, he has a bitchin cheek scar now, and the respect of his people, and I got a forehead touch so y’know. i melted. GOSH. then I died laughing at Akksul’s not-apology email.

now Jaal wants me to meet his mom(s) but Helen said that’ll lock in the romance, so I’ll probably wait just a little longer so I can uh keep having FWB sex with Peebee and ?maybe??? flirt with Vetra at some point? altho I teasingly called her MOM last time we were in Kadara Port so maybe not. (Jaal still hates it there, he’s so grumpy and it’s cute, but I digress)

this one got even longer than usual so doing a cut

one thing that I really like, that the game navigates in interesting ways, is that to the angara, we’re all just “Milky Way people.” like. so much of the original trilogy is about navigating the differences between all these aliens, and like, some of that is here too, esp with the krogan, but it’s actually really neat the way we’ve flattened out. and even with the krogan it’s still night and day-- like. comparing what Tuchanka is like in ME2 when Wrex is still solidifying his status as warlord is miles away from what it’s like for me to wander around New Tuchanka or, especially, just run into random krogan out and about (like the nice water scouts. WHY COULDN’T I JUST GIVE THEM THE WATER? but I’m getting ahead of myself). I know some of it has the Watsonian explanation of, like, only forward-thinking, open-minded krogan would be interested in the Initiative in the first place, and some of it is the Doylist explanation of ‘well people really liked that Charr/Ereba romance so let’s have more sweetie pie krogan’ but like. overall. it’s interesting, and I’m sure there’s more angles I haven’t considered.

I traced more of those comm buoys for Addison and learned that the doctor she’s obsessed with ran away to get pregnant! I definitely read that whole situation as Addison being in love with this lady and tbh it still doesn’t refute it? but I won’t get any more progress until I make a new outpost. the whole idea of ‘the first human baby born in Heleus’ thing is really cool, though, and I’m invested.

then I went to Elaaden! I feel some kind of way about Lexi diagnosing all of these scavengers with Brain Disease, but I can’t put my finger on it exactly-- other than, I guess, my general discomfort with pathologizing criminality. I was glad she said we couldn’t vaccinate people without their consent, but the whole thing smacks as very... self-conscious on the part of the game creators? like they thought people would say “hey it’s a huge plot hole that the Initiative screened every person before putting them on the arks and yet so many of them do crimes, explain that to me” and they were like “oh yeah shit that makes no sense, it’s not like people faced with the existential crisis of being in a brand new place 600 years away from everything they’ve ever known with no way back and not enough resources and multiple things wanting to kill them might just make desperate, risky choices, that’s not good enough, obviously we need to explain it with BRAIN DISEASE.” come on.

I made it to New Tuchanka, where the postings on the terminals are literally my favorite part of this whole game. THE ONE KROGAN WHO WANTS GINGERBREAD. THE ONE WHO DOESN’T WANT TO FOCUS ON CONS AND SUGGESTS A “PRO-VERSATION.” THE ONE ABOUT THE “PROBLETUNITY” OF MATING SUGGESTING WATCHING KRANTT HARDLY WAIT. THE ONE WHO INVENTED BLOOD RAGE FOR GUN TURRETS. but also, the best one, my favorite one of all: KRANTT THE RAGENING LARP. there is nothing I would not give to play Krantt: The Ragening.

I sort of tripped and fell and decided to finish Drack’s loyalty mission even though I intended to do more Elaaden things first, and that was a blast. Vorn is so presh! and also Drack is my dad so there’s that. I loved that Vorn helped save the day with a poison vegetable, and I love that Kesh pretended not to like the flower he got her. it was like-- okay. real talk, I just spent like 20 minutes trying to find proof that there is, in fact, a scene in parks and rec where someone gives April a friendship bracelet and she pretended to hate it until they threatened to take it back and could not find it ANYWHERE and felt so gaslit until I realized that that scene was not about April at all but Louise Belcher so. GOOD JOB ME. anyway. it was like that. kesh pretending her comm was broken when Tann tried to talk to her is the oldest joke in the book but I laughed anyway. 

and then I TOOK SPENDER DOWN FOR GOOD. I’m a little miffed that neither Kesh nor Tann got to be in on that discussion; like, I recognize he was Addison’s underling but given all the bullshit he pulled with the krogan I especially felt Kesh deserved to be there? at one point there was a dialogue tree where I could either say it was Addison’s fault or Spender’s fault, and I picked the latter because I think they both such but Spender sucks worse, but in hindsight I wish I’d stuck it to Addison more because my dialogue was way too nice. when faced with the choice of jailing or exiling Spender, I picked jail despite my desire to defund Nexus Militia because I was scared if I exiled him he’d just come back as a worse enemy because of all his off-station contacts. when reviewing the choice in the codex, though, it narrativized my choice by saying I imprisoned him knowing he “would never survive life on the run from his former associates.” that wasn’t my assumption at all! quite the opposite! I jailed him thinking he’d start a coup from without if I didn’t, and it’s really interesting to me that the game isn’t framing that as a concern Ryder would have reasonably had. anyway, now Brecka has his job, which is good because Brecka is the best.

before leaving I unlocked my last memory, and SURPRISE MY MOM IS ALIVE. WELL. FOR A GIVEN DEFINITION OF ALIVE. i don’t know why I’m surprised; of course my dad sucked that much. but also, the fact that all of that got nestled in with the reaper ‘reveal’ (if you can call it that) felt... very strange? like. this is such a personal, emotional thing for Ryder. obviously for the player harkening back to the trilogy is supposed to be a gut wrench, and objectively, yes, I can see how the knowledge that they might have narrowly escaped certain death is a big deal, but like. the reapers aren’t HERE. they aren’t relevant. my MOM, on the other hand, is and is, apparently! it’s occurring to me I didn’t even try to find her mis-labeled pod, I was so turned around by all the benefactor stuff after the fact. anyway.

swung by Kadara to get drinks with Drack and had an epic bar fight, and then Lexi p much lectured us both abt it because Drack is like 90% spit and duct tape at this point. him talking about raising Kesh giving him a new lease on life was VERY sweet, tho, and his line about how parents aren’t the finish line, they’re the starting line was very good.

went back to Elaaden, which Jaal called “a big planet” while discussing hunting someone down and AU CONTRAIRE, JAAL, IT IS A MOON. wish I’d had Drack with me when I found Annea’s water because I bet he would have had better dialogue than Cora, but alas. felt very weird giving control of the reservoir to the Nexus, but like. Annea being like “you can’t, this is my emotional support monopoly on a vital natural resource” just wasn’t gonna fly with how I’m playing Ryder. I was gratified to hear the Nexus guy at Paradise say we were giving the water to everyone, including krogan and scavengers, because I 100% did not trust Tann not to overrule him with some shitty call.

then I went to the Remnant ship to stop Morda from making a bomb out of the drive core, and it was all going swimmingly until I traced the signal to that cave inside the flophouse and suddenly my triangle button stopped working, making me unable to activate the console. YIKES. a quick google of the issue tells me that this mission is buggy for a lot of people and reloading from an earlier save tends to help, but I tried that and the issue persisted so I gave up for the evening. hopefully a fresh start tomorrow and time for the ps4 to cool off is all that is required. 

[zukkatrash]

im pretty sure nobody wants this content but:

aged up, no bending atla x fallout 4 crossover!!!

(spoilers for some atla and fo4 stuff obviously, and in sukis part i rant abt the ending where ur against the brotherhood, so major spoilers for that too)

lets start with katara

katara is a minuteman, no lets be real shes the goddamn general, preston took one look at her and immediately knew she'd protect the people of the commonwealth with all she had

elder maxon is actually scared of her, which is why he refuses to let her on the prydwen so none of his underlings see him fold under her stare

shes probably the first minuteman that hancock like actually truly respects bc he knows shes 100% abt the ppl and goodneighbors motto is literally "of the people for the people"

katara is a probably a bit conflicted about him at first bc u know hes a bit ruthless for her taste, but she can see his heart's in the right place

she definitely helped marcy long with her grief and turned her anger into smth productive, aka marcy is now probably a high ranking minuteman

sokka

def a railroad agent (i read alchemy, sue me)

him and tinker tom are the best buddies and yes sokka got convinced to drink his weird serum thing, stop bringing it up!!

god just the crazy inventions those two would cook up, they'd probs scare the shit out of the institute

on topic of the institute, theres probably like at least one abduction attempt from them a month but hes not only smart but a badass too

hes also one of the only people dr. amari is actually nice to and will routinely rescue him from irmas relentless flirting

he definitely fanboys with kent collony over the shroud

i feel like deacon would drive him mad, because on one hand he gets the secrecy and that he doesn't want anyone to get too close but also deacs, my man u cant shut everyone out with ur lies

okay now im thinking abt them bonding over their dead gfs and am sad

when he meets nick he has to hold back soooo hard to not ask invasive questions, bc nick is basically a walking insight into the institute, but hes alao a person who sokka respects and really doesn't wanna be an ass to

toph

also with the railroad(but shes a heavy ofc), probably mostly bc shed get more action there

sokka and tinker tom def made her some really cool gadget à la seismic sense so shes still a BEAST

she can also hear a raider ambush/lurking wildlife before anyone else and if shes not with anyone who needs to avoid that kinda stuff she pulls out her trusty missile launcher and makes quick work of her enemies

probably participates in cage matches at the combat zone and raiders shit their pants when they see her

toph is either dating glory or cait or both, cant decide, just badass wlw

or maybe fahrenheit 🤔, i mean the only refrence of tophs type we have is that she mightve had a crush on sokka who is not only strong but smart and u cant tell me fahr isnt smart, she might only have like 5 lines but at least one of them is abt chess which is a common shorthand for intelligence and she is undoubtedly a badass so yes toph and fahr! never thought id think of those two as a ship but here we are haha

zuko

is the silver shroud, you can't change my mind he's a righteous theatre kid ofc he's the shroud

suki

also a minute man, probably kataras second in command

shes the one training the minutemen at the castle

danse tried so desperately to recruit her but suki is too smart to fall for the bos' bullshit

probably plays into his whole spiel tho to get an inside look at the bos and takes them down from the inside

and not by blowing the ship up wtf there are kids on the prydwen what the fuck why cant u get them out beforehand??? why is that the only option to get the bos out of the commonwealth???? they steal poor farmers crops ffs i want them gone! WITHOUT killing innocent children that are being indoctrinated what the fuck

aang

im actually having a really hard time to imagine aang in fo4 bc u know its a biiit violent for a pacifist monk but i really dont wanna just make him a farmer or some boring shit, its just that stuff usually needs killing in some way in fo4

okay nvm i can def picture him on the island mediating that whole conflict between arcadia, the children of the atom and far harbor

oh god aang finding out how dima kept the 'peace' would be a brutal fucking scene, i dont wanna spoil too much if possible but aang would def feel really betrayed by dima

i can see aang arriving at the island and really trying to make everyone understand that dima only wants arcadia to be safe and left alone and i have no idea how he would actually deal with dima once the truth comes out but fuuck, bending or not aang def entered the avatar state there

but just to be clear he still protects arcadia, just bc its built by smn who thinks the ends justify the means doesnt mean that synths dont deserve to live in fucking peace for once

also aang would absolutely adore erikson and his puppies ^^

but back to the commonwealth

aang would for sureee advocate against the mind wipes the railroad makes and try to find other ways to help synths

he probs cannot deal with desdemonia saying that erasing the synths memory and identity is the only way to keep them safe, aang knows what loss means and he wont stand for it

and i can see him do a lot of the actual building in the settlements and helping all those small communities to flourish

now for the crack, as in i dont think this is in character but i thought of it so now yall have to read abt it:

the fire nation is in nuka world, also there is no overboss per se bc except for like 3 lines we know nothing of colter

ozai leads the operators, but also kinda everyone, so basically the overboss

post breakdown, pre redemption azula leads the disciples

zhao leads the pack bc like mason hes an animal and i hate him ^^

gage is dead bc unfortunately ozai isnt dumb, altho ozai was dumb enough to underestimate zuko when he literally told him his plan to join the gaang, but then again gage didnt like colter bc he didnt get shit done and unfortunately ozai does get shit done so gage is probably delighted :(

if anyone actually read this and wants to add on pleaseee do!!!

[koganphrancis]

Ernie & Bert Are Planning A Wedding

OR: My thoughts on Episode 11

Everything just hurts.  Let me start with the “previously on” segment.  Yeah, we finally get an Ian/Mickey intro, but it’s just like so many of the other intros-random characters outside yelling at viewers.  Since there’s been little to none intimacy for this couple this season we couldn’t have caught them in bed?  Or in mid-kiss?  Nope.  Ian can be drinking yet another beer tho.  Pretty sure those meds we saw when Sandy grabbed Mickey’s dick all those episodes ago now was Mickey’s gerd medication.  Ian’s clearly not being written as taking medication at all (yet again).  

But as usual, I digress.  The show starts with a somewhat cute reminder of how the Gallavich house is within running distance of the (now torn down in real life, RIP) Milkovich house.  Unfortunately it’s Terry who reminds us.  Ian’s watching Terry screaming up at the house while Mickey’s...off doing something without Ian.  Seriously, whatever the opposite of “joined at the hip” is, that’s what these epic soulmates are this season :( 

Anyway, Mickey walks downstairs and Ian unhelpfully informs him, “Your dad’s here.”  Mickey says yeah and goes out to see Terry.  Ian gives one more peek thru the curtain but must decide that Mickey’s in no danger, since next we see him, Ian’s sitting in the kitchen casually chatting with Lip about something that’ll never happen (Lip moving to Wisconsin).

Outside, Mickey and Terry draw guns on each other while Terry’s just now (?) trying to figure out where Mickey went “wrong” and turned out gay.  Um, I know Terry’s been busy with prison and running his illegal enterprises (whatever they might be), but he’s just now trying to catch up on what he learned literally years ago when he walked in on Ian and Mickey having sex?  

(Gif credit: jackorowan)

The scene at least gives us an iconic Mickey line, “I definitely love one,” but is it too little too late?  It’s enough to send Terry on his way for now, after one last threat.  Mickey calmly goes back inside, says “mornin’” to Ian and Lip, and starts to make himself a bowl of cereal.  I list all that out to stress how non-stressed he seems.  Ian says, “So, how’s your dad?”, and just like the, “Hi, Mr. Milkovich” and “Was Mickey adopted?” conversation Ian had with Terry in S9, so far everything is being written to show how this is just normal family life when it comes to Terry.  But by the next scene the show will want us to buy that something entirely different is going on and I just don’t understand why they can’t find a narrative and stick to it.  In the days since the episode aired, I’ve read so many head canon posts about how understandable it was for Mickey to flip out after seeing Terry, and how that brought all Mickey’s past trauma to the surface and of course it turned him into a groomzilla, but I just can’t agree that that’s what the show either set out to do or accomplished.  Mickey’s been working for Terry, he’s been around him-it’s one of the few things about Mickey’s life the show has shown us since he’s been out of prison.  Everyone in Terry’s world that they’ve shown is perfectly comfortable talking about the fact that yes, some people are in fact gay.  Terry’s peers in prison, Terry’s own relatives-why suddenly in Episode 11 is this “a thing”?  

Anyway, the scene continues after Mickey quips that he doesn’t think Terry will be his best man.  Liam joins the scene and there’s very cute, well executed banter where Ian, Lip, and Mickey tell him they can each forge Frank’s signature.  It’s a tantalizing glimpse of what the season could’ve been if these guys were allowed to all be in scenes together.  

Mainly thanks to Myles’ AV Club review, I know that for whatever reason, the show decided to do a one month time jump between the engagement episode and this one.  WTF?  It doesn’t even make sense-it means somewhere that woman holding Frank captive was feeding him and clothing and bathing him?  That Liam hasn’t been to school in a month because Frank hasn’t been around to sign him in?  As if that wouldn’t have had CPS showing up at the Gallagher house (that has to be red flagged in the system by now)?  Debbie being toyed with by that mother and daughter has been going on for weeks at this point?  The only thing the time jump did that I care about was rob us of seeing Mickey and Ian telling people they were engaged.  We deserved a little scene of Ian and Lip talking about it at least-give Lip the opportunity to ask Ian what changed his mind about marriage and give the audience the opportunity to hear some sort of explanation.  “I heard some guy I know Mickey didn’t care about putting him down and I just knew then and there I had to marry him,” doesn’t quite cut it.  

But so much for what should have been.  In the next scene, Mickey slaps down a pile of wedding magazines and drops the news on Ian (as he hands him a beer) that they’re going to have a “wedding wedding”.  Mickey needs a headcount for the reception venue-clearly money is no problem, so working for Terry all those intervening weeks must’ve been lucrative.  

In a rare instance of the show actually cluing us in on someone’s thought process, Mickey says flat out that he now wants a “real” wedding because his fuckhead dad threatened to murder him-again-cuz he’s gay.  So, see?  AGAIN.  What’s different this time?  It’s like the show NEEDS there to be a reason, a mitigating circumstance, for two men to want to get married.  They can’t just let Mickey and Ian have the natural progression of their relationship leading to a lifetime together.  It’s so offensive.  And again, for viewers that have been invested in this relationship for so long, it just hurts.  Mickey’s doing this as a big FU to his father rather than as a big ILY to Ian.  That’s OOC for sure-Mickey’s always put loving Ian first in his life.  

In planning the wedding, Noel does get some great moments.  Talking about the “little shits that light the candles”, and his choice of wedding song, and confronting the homophobic old bitch at the florist.  And the literal scenery chewing he does at the wedding chairs rental place was, I’m sure, quite fun for Noel as an actor.  BUT-the only moment we get where Ian seems on board/with Mickey in any of it is at the florist before the bitch sets Mickey off.  Otherwise Ian’s like a casual bystander in all this-and that’s just not in character either.  Why can’t they both be into making these decisions?  Why, even if Ian truly couldn’t give a shit about seeing Mickey happy about these little details-why can’t they at least be affectionate with each other?  I don’t expect Schitt’s Creek level adoring looks, but I do expect Gallavich level.  Ian used to look at Mickey with awe even when Mickey was being his Mickey-est.  Why aren’t they allowed to show that anymore?  

I will say, I did love the stargazer lily thing-altho it’s all the more frustrating to realize this week’s writer must’ve watched at least the fan compilation video of Gallavich to know that detail was a very sweet throw back-why couldn’t they also write some kisses and hand holding in too?  But anyway, “Beyond Blue” and Mickey looking touched when Ian said he liked the blue ones-we needed a lot more moments like that this season.  Why everything’s getting crammed into these final, rushed episodes is beyond me.  

Now I have to bitch again about what was wrong with the florist scene.  Yes, I’m sure there are plenty of people like that woman in the world.  But there are also plenty who don’t oppose same sex marriage.  Why is it always such a big deal on Shameless?  Either everything’s gay or nothing is.  They’ve given us an entire squad of fire fighters who are gay.  Debbie clearly can’t walk five feet in any direction since the show decided she was gay without her finding a woman DTF her.  Ian had-what was the ridiculous number?-7 million Instagram followers when he was Gay Jesus.  So ONE homophobic old lady in a flower shop means disaster?  Ian knows how to look shit up on his phone, he proved that looking for wedding statistics.  You mean to tell me he doesn’t know how to check Yelp reviews to somehow find a gay-friendly florist in a city the size of Chicago?  

Mickey did get a couple of funny lines in that scene (killed me when he called her Grandma), but, again the show is throwing too much in the blender.  Is the scene supposed to be that funny?  If Mickey is dealing with past trauma, this is just adding to it.  And Ian, who is supposed to know Mickey better than anyone (including the viewer) isn’t acting worried about him, he’s acting like he’s being dragged all these places against his will.  So where’s the comedy in that?

Next there’s a scene of Mickey walking down the sidewalk and glorious natural light, looking like he’s glowing.  It immediately gets ruined by Ian stopping in front of a store window full of bride mannequins and looking at them and then after Mickey, with the visual implication strongly suggesting that Mickey’s the “woman” in their relationship which is so outdated in 2020 that the show and the network should have to pay a fine.  

Then we get the chairs meltdown, which gives us the truest line, “Why does everything always have to SUCK?”  You’re singing our song, Mickey.  Then the show proves that point for the millionth time by having Mickey call the chairs guy the R word-twice. 

In the next scene, Mickey’s called in the always reliable important character of Mand..um, Sandy because Ian’s of no use to him.  WTF?  Mickey is still talking up grandiose wedding plans and Ian’s still trying to figure it all out.  He tries to ask, “This is still about Terry, right?  You don’t give a shit about weddings...” Mickey interrupts him to ask where his ring is.  Ian has to stop and think and realizes he must’ve left it on the sink.  He runs off before Mickey can tear him a new one.  Mickey throws his pen down and says to Sandy, “I can’t even.”  Sandy replies, “I can see why you called,” but on Twitter fans have pointed out her lips appear to be saying, “Is he even into this at all?”  WHICH IS ANOTHER THING.  After all Ian’s marriage issues, why is Mickey bulldozing ahead and not noticing what Ian seems to be feeling AT ALL.  (Which appears to be that he’s once again regretting this whole marriage thing.)  Why does the show make the two of them so blind to each other’s feelings now?  WHY?  Now that Lip’s living in the RV, do they even share a room anymore?  They act like they never, ever talk now.  There is such a disconnect hanging over the short time they are shown together in every episode.  Not to mention they’ve been desexualized to the point of being a couple of Ken dolls.  John Wells must be so thrilled he doesn’t have to sit thru dailies of them physically touching anymore.  I’m willing to believe he hired someone to Jeff Giloolly Cam’s leg so he could have Mickey and Ian get engaged and married without any love scenes at this point.

In the last scene, Ian and Mickey are at The Alibi and Ian’s (having a beer) making one last attempt to simplify the wedding.  After another “it depends who’s the bride and who’s the groom” eye-rolling moment, Ian asks, “Can’t we just be Ian and Mickey?”  I guess not, when it comes to this show.  In the past Ian would’ve loved Mickey’s tension away for him-letting Mickey find his release in multiple orgasms, not in wedding planning.  Now all he can do is hire some guy with a guitar to show up at the bar and sing Mickey’s wedding song-and “sing” is a very generous term here.  Props to the show for not having an amazing singer just show up out of the blue, but, for the love of my bleeding ears, couldn’t they have found less of a screecher?  

Mickey is, at first, freaked out by this guitar playing weirdo coming near his booth, but when he recognizes the song he asks, “How the fuck did you know that?”  The guitarist replies, “Little bird told me” indicating Ian, and then unfortunately goes back to the song and soon finds himself way out of his range.  Mickey gives Ian a soft look, Ian gives Mickey one of the smiles he only ever has for Mickey, and Silver Tree becomes JW’s favorite director ever by not even letting us see them holding each other’s hands-that’s below the camera line.  For all we can prove, maybe Ian and Mickey were just reaching for the salt shaker at the same time.  Personally, I would’ve ended the episode with Ian and Mickey metaphorically and literally getting on the same page-they go back to the house, their double bed is covered in Mickey’s wedding magazines and color swatches and seating charts and whatever other wedding prep detritus.  Ian, seeing it all laid out like that says softly, “Are you really doing all this for Terry?” and Mickey says, “Course not, it’s all for us.  We deserve it.”  Then they flop down on the bed together and get to kissing, right on top of it all.  

But no, can’t have them intimate or even on the same side of a booth.  So, you’d think that happy-ish ending we did get means Mickey’s out of his Terry-induced panic, but scenes and stills for the season finale will disabuse you of that hope.  

My final thought is: I’m wondering how much, if any, of these wedding details we’ll see.  The show is too cheap now to spend money on a church wedding with those gorgeous stargazer lilies and the little shits that light the candles.  Plus why would you have Living On A Prayer sung again when you used it in this episode?  Will one of them-or both of them-walk down an aisle?  They’ve already got their rings and have been wearing them-I don’t see them wearing multiple rings each.  If the show had any guts at all, it’d have them exchange cock rings at the ceremony ;P  Will we even get to see the wedding part or will they go straight to some sort of brawl/reception?  And, sadly, I’ve felt from the first time I saw pictures of them driving off in the Mercedes that we’re not going to see them get to consummate the marriage.  I hope I’m wrong about all of it, but I won’t be surprised to be let down utterly-either by what they don’t or what they do show :(  See ya on the other side!