#tho in my defense i was playing it without using any guides or anything

[helladventurers]

Me: man red mage kinda sucks :(

My friend: THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE PLAYING IT WRONG FOR FUCKS SAKE

[ecclais-fouoras]

Softer on the inside

Chapter 4 : " bleeding"

Ch2/3 here

WARNING ⚠️: PERIOD and smut

Also quick mention of being sterile so if you're unconfortable with any of this feel free to leave

It was always known that women would be in the outpost, so : the co-operative provided for their protections, they braucht Tampons, Pads, And even a few cups.

But you'd been there for a long time and well, the outpost was running low on the disposable ones. You didn't have period anymore, wilhemina knew that, since she noticed after a few months you didn't go through the stash, but she knew better to ask you anything. For all she knew you could have been born with a condition or something of that sort. You were both laying on her bed, she was reading a book in your arms and you were playing with her red hair, you heard her groan as she shifted slightly.

"Babe ?" You asked as your brows scrunched up

"Yes darling?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yes. Obviously" she replied coldly, her face expressionless. Wilhemina was still defensive when it came to her emotions, she rarely let herself be vulnerable around you.

Even though she was making efforts towards opening up, because you kept showing her you didn't have any bad intentions.

"Wilhemina...it's okay if you are not you know that ?" You whispered in her ear as you kissed her neck and held her more tightly. You pointed to the rest of your room

"I love you. Look around.. no one else is here, it's just us... nobody's going to make fun or judge you...what's going on sweetheart"

"I'm fi.." you cut her off before she could answer

"I swear if you tell me 'i'm fine' again"

"I..i"

"You know what .."

"Please don't be mad at me"

"No..honey I was going to ask you if I made suggestions and you just answered me yes or no it could be easier for you, if speaking is the issue"

"No it's okay..I'm just..it's nothing really...i just have period cramps and I..oh god this is embarrassing..., I couldn't...put the tampon on correctly, so it hurts to.."

"Was it the first time you used one of these?"

"...yes..i usually put pads but we have none left, and I can't put a cup on...b..because I can't bend down for it..."

"Oh..honey that's nothing to be embarrassed about. Besides I've been exactly where that's tampon is" you joked throwing her a wink.

"In all seriousness tho when did you put it on"

"Like an hour ago ? I thought the pain would stop but I already tried to put on like 3 of them and I only have 5 left. I don't know what I'm going to to y/n" you left your place behind her and went to the bathroom after

"Okay.. get up sweetie."

She was confused at your actions

"What ? Why?"

"I'm not gonna leave you in pain like this"

"But...wh..what ?"

"Just get yours right here"

"What ?"

"Your butt. Get it here..come on"

She finally complied and lead on her cane for support as she joined you in the bathroom.

"Take off your skirt and panties babe"

"What ? I will not.." you turned around and took her hands in yours thumbs caressing her skin.

"Sweetie, I'm not embarrassed by this. So you have no reason to be. I love you. Period blood is just regular blood and pieces of andrometriosis...let me do this for you, If there's something I can do to avoid you being in pain I will do it."

"..okay"

"Now I don't want to overstep your boundaries so if it's really something that makes you unconfortable we'll find another solution."

"No I'm going to try to trust you"

"Oh...mina...I'm not going to hurt you sweetie"

She started to undress from her bottoms, leaving her half naked. You told her to hop in the shower since it would be easier to manage and you asked if she'd be more comfortable if you were both fully naked  and took a shower. She nodded and you got ready with her guiding her when the water was warm enough.

You gently washed her before asking her if you could pull it out by the string to shower properly before going to bed.

After you were both all cleaned you slowly picked up the showerhead and set the flow so it landed on her lower stomach, guiding it down to her core. She moaned as it hit her clit, and you looked into her eyes before she breathed "please continue"

It was all you needed to kiss her lips and press her up against the tiles, lifting her leg up minding her back. You hand crept down further and you pushed two fingers inside her, the water still stimulating her. It didn't take her long for her to reach her climax and she shook against you before you turned off the water and let her rest in your arms. You dried her then yourself before wrapping both of you in towels. You went to reach a cup in the drawers before turning around seeing her face field with worry.

"I told you I can't put it on y/n"

"You don't have to bend down, and don't worry I'm going to put it in and show you how you can try"

"..oh okay"

"If it's fine with you of course"

"Yes"

You took her arms and slowly guided her down on her knees so her legs were parted and she didn't get hurt.

"Right..so try and kneel like this"

"Here ?"

"Yes. Now see you need to fold it like this, and then try to ease it in" you showed her and lean it next to her vulva.

"I..I'm going to be to tight y/n"

"You're too stressed, that's why. You need to relax, it's not going to hurt baby I'm right here."

"What if that's to big for me ?"

"Honey you have no trouble taking my three fingers in and they are much bigger that that cup."

She blushed heavily and you giggled.

"You know what, I think if you touch yourself while Putting it in it'll be easier"

"Really"

"Yes... Here"

You said before slowly teasing her clit with your fingers and kissing her neck biting it down.

Once you felt she was more relaxed you were able to find her vagina quicky and slowly pushed the cup inside before letting it go and hearing it pop when it was set right inside her.

"There all done..now to pull it out, you pinch and drag"

You said just as you did and got up to wash your bloody fingers.

"Hey don't worry about it, it's just blood, Now try it yourself"

And she did, after a few minutes of trying to figure it out, she got it in, and then out, and in again for it's final resting place.

"All set. See I knew you could do it"

"Thank you y/n. I wouldn't have been able to without you"

"No problem babe, now let's get to bed"

You both settled on the bed her arms draped over your belly, and yours around her shoulders to hold her close to you.

"Y/n ? Can I ask you something ?"

"Sure"

"I've noticed you don't get your periods why ?"

"Oh..well...I used to but a few years ago I had  an extra uterine pregnancy and they had to ligature both of my fallopian tubes. So I became sterile and I don't have any periods because I don't ovulate anymore."

"Oh..I'm so sorry darling..."

"It's okay It's probably better off that way, at least I didn't have to raise a kid when the world fell apart"

She nodded slightly and rested her head on your shoulder. You kissed her forehead before drifting off to try and sleep.

"I love you darling"

"Me too mina..me too"

A/n : yes I know you ain't suppose to wear a cup to sleep.

Sue me.

[onewfantaesy]

Theres a reason for Taems pranks in school even tho he wont tell why. So, do they have conversations/arguments about "punishing" him at school? Onew seems more strict in how he handles Taemin (since taemin feels hes harder on him). Lunas his sister, she might be more defensive and expect him to be nicer cuz hes related but Onew has to do his job and also help shape Taemin. So how do they find a common ground with handling his behavior/pranks without it causing issue? Or just tell his parents?

“In-school suspension? Seriously? You don’t think that’s a bit much?”

“I don’t know what else to do with him,” Onew sighs. “This might finally get him to realize he can’t keep acting up like this during class. And he hasn’t actually gotten it yet, but the threat of it might be enough.”

“You’re threatening a fourth grader?”

“You know that’s not what I mean.”

“Have you tried talking with him?”

Onew falls over on the couch, drapes an arm over his eyes, and says in a high-pitched, snotty voice, “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“That didn’t sound anything like him.”

“If he doesn’t want to talk to me, there’s not much I can do. I’m still the vice principal. How would it look if I blatantly favored my wife’s brother?”

“Like you’re trying to guide a wayward boy in the right life direction.”

“Something tells me fake cockroaches isn’t his life direction,” Onew laughs. “He’s disrupting class. He’s causing problems. Warnings, detentions, and notes sent home don’t seem to be doing anything.”

“I’m just saying,” Luna says with a huff, “I think in-school suspension is a bit intense for an elementary school student.”

She goes to sit next to him and frowns.

“Plus, you know him. You know he’s not a bad kid.”

“I’m not saying he’s a bad kid,” Onew sighs. “I’m just trying to help him.”

That Friday, Onew gets a call from Luna that they were asked to watch Taemin again that night. So after school, he goes out to the pick-up yard to find Taemin. He sees him running around with his little friends, and his smile is so big and Onew really hopes it stays like that the rest of the night. Taemin had been so good that week, hadn’t caused any problems in class since he talked with Onew on Tuesday.

“Taemin,” Onew calls, and all four of the boys immediately freeze.

“I didn’t do anything!” Taemin whines.

“You’re not in any trouble,” Onew says. “You’re staying at my house again tonight.”

“No,” Taemin whines. “Mommy said she’s picking me up today!”

“Well she called Luna and said she and your dad are working very late tonight,” Onew says softly, trying to calm him down. “So you’re staying with us. Did you want to play Dungeons and Dragons again? I can call Uncle Key and Uncle Minho if you want.”

“No, I don’t wanna go with you!” Taemin whines, and he starts backing away to where his backpack is slung in a pile with his friends’ bags. “I wanna go home!”

“Please don’t start this,” Onew sighs. “Come on, you’re gonna hang out in my office until it’s time to go.”

Taemin whines and looks so upset, but Onew doesn’t even know what to do. He just guides Taemin back inside and into his office. Taemin sulks the entire time, makes annoying little comments under his breath that Onew pretends not to hear, and is positively pouting.

“Why are you so upset?” Onew asks when Taemin flops over in the corner of his office.

“Because I want to go home.”

“Would you feel better if I said we can pick up pizza on the way home?”

“No.”

Onew looks to where Taemin is curled up in the corner and sighs. Taemin won’t look at him, just stays curled around his backpack, pouting.

“Do you want to talk about anything?”

“Why do you wanna talk so much all the time?” Taemin whines. “It’s annoying!”

“Fine,” Onew sighs. “Keep pouting then. We’ll leave in a little bit.”

“I wanna go home,” Taemin mumbles.

When Onew gets up a few minutes later and says it’s time to leave, Taemin just starts crying. Taemin doesn’t cry very often, and it’s usually Luna who handles him when he gets upset.

“Hey, hey,” Onew says softly, kneeling down. “What’s wrong? You have to tell me, or I can’t help you.”

“I want to go home!”

“Taemin, that’s not something to cry about. Come on, get up.”

“I want my mommy to come get me,” Taemin cries, wiping at his face.

“Taemin, please.”

“Why can’t Mommy or Daddy come get me?”

“Because they’re working, Taemin.”

“No, they’re too busy having a threesome to come get me!” Taemin shouts, and Onew cringes because he knows the principal is still in her office next to his, not to mention the front office workers. And they no doubt all heard it.

“Taemin,” Onew says quickly, kneeling down to try and calm him down. “Taemin, that’s not true, you know that. They’re just working, that’s all.”

Taemin just keeps crying, and Onew hates the way his little brother-in-law is breathing too fast. He tries calming him down, tries whispering sweet things to help him feel better. It helps a little bit, but Taemin is still crying softly fifteen minutes later. Onew ends up just picking Taemin up, grabbing his backpack, and carrying him out to his car. Onew puts Taemin down in the car, but he’s still beyond upset.

“I think when we get home,” Onew says softly, “you and me and Luna are going to have a little talk.”

Taemin only covers his face and whines and curls up. Onew thinks he finally knows what’s had Taemin acting out so much the last few weeks. He’s hoping Luna will know more about how to handle it.

[nad-zeta]

Okay, I'm SO curious who you'd match me with (if you don't have time for that, it's fine tho 😊) I'm outspoken and headstrong if I'm convinced to do the right thing, but also emphatic and try to help everyone. I believe in karma, so try to be kind to people. I'm often impatient, but never with people who try their best. I regularly want to do seven things at once and end up doing none, but most of the time I try to stick to the plan. I'm not really romantic, but see love in the little things. 😊

Hi, there love! I always have time to do a match up for ya!<3 Thanx so much for the request! sorry for taking soooo long lol! I hope you enjoy! 

Hehe, I had some difficulty with your matchup cause I could easily see you with most of the warlords… but finally, I made a decision! 

So I match you with..................... Ieyasu

Wow you were an outspoken firecracker when you first arrived. You definitely didn’t take the warlords shit! Although in saying that even though you were a strong-willed, determined woman, you were also incredibly gentle and kind. That firecracker in you only really came out when you were threatened or had to stand up for your beliefs. After made sure Nobunaga understood that you were not to be treated like some toy or object, you reverted to your crazy sweet, kind state. You reminded them all so much of a 2nd Mitsunari. An angel in disguise. You were loving and compassionate towards everyone, even Hideyoshi stopped suspecting you after seeing how hard you were working and what a sweetie pie you were.

 Ieyasu would often pull his face at your pure, innocent naivety; he didn’t need another Mitsunari making his life difficult. He would usually roll his eyes whenever you and Mitsunari would beam at each other and talk about your days. Although you quickly came to realize his contradictory ways, as he would always whisper explanations of complicated war jargon to you during war councils, because quote on quote, “your clueless expression can be seen from a mile away.” Or he would even bring you food to eat during banquets because “a weakling like you would faint in a second if you don’t eat a proper meal.” After that, you made up your mind that there was more to this sulky boy than meets the eye.

On day Nobunaga declared that you, Masamune, and Ieyasu were to join him in settling a dispute in a neighboring region. Naturally, you rode with Ieyasu because if you were to ride with Masamune, the two of you may get lost and cause more trouble for him. Ieyasu held you gently in his arms, going at a slow, steady pace to ensure maximum comfort, although he would never admit to doing that. 

You guys discovered that the local daimyo of the region was overtaxing his people to the point of starvation as he would take their all their crops as payment as well as any money they made from selling what little they had left. In addition, the daimyo had switched loyalties, so this was a trap to lure Nobunaga out and assassinate him while trying to settle the dispute. You, Masa, Nobunaga, and Ieyasu were heavily outnumbered, as the daimyos goons started filing into the room ready to kill you guys. You honestly felt sick to your stomach at the way this man was using and abusing the people he was put in charge of. As the fight broke out and continued, you spotted the daimyo trying to sneak away in the chaos. It was now time for your fight or flight instincts to kick in, and you chose to fight. You ran out the door to follow him, dodging all the weapons flying through the air. Out the corner of his eye, Yasu spotted you chasing after the daimyo and swiftly fought his way through the room to follow you. You ran as fast as you could down the hallway to catch up to the guy. Once he was within arm’s reach, you threw yourself to the ground, grabbing hold of his legs in a tackle. Unfortunately, you had forgotten everyone had carried weapons in the past. The man was twice your size, and his attention was now entirely on you. The two of you wrestled for a while until he drew his sword. Things were looking pretty grim for you. He drew his sword high in the air, intending to deliver a final blow to end your life when it was blocked by non-other than the porcupine boy himself. At this point, all his goons had been defeated, and it was just the daimyo left. You were still on the floor and decided to help Yasu out by kicking the man’s knees in, causing him to tumble to the ground allowing Yasu to knock him out. You let out a sigh of relief at finally being safe. Emerald eyes full of anger was now turned on you “Silly girl, what were you thinking tackling a guy twice your size to the ground, do you have a death wish or something,” You stated that you couldn’t just stand by and watch that sleazy guy get away from inflicting so much pain and hurt on other. You had only acted on instinct. Before things got too heated, Masamune defused the situation by complimenting the brave lass on saving the day. He walked you out of the room and gave you a ride back

That night an unexpected guest knocked on your door. Yasu let himself in. You were shocked; you kind of low key thought he really disliked you, especially by the way he was calling you weak and stupid for 20mins after talking down that asshole. He sat down gently in front of you and gave you a salve for your hands and legs, cause during your little wrestling match with the daimyo you got a few scratches and bruises. You were double shook, especially when he wore such a gentle expression. He apologized for what he said, all while stuttering and being as red as a tomato. He stated that he wasn’t angry, just worried about what could have happened if he wasn’t there to protect you. At the end of his little apology, he admitted he was wrong for calling you weak because he had never seen a woman so headstrong in his life before, much less take down a man twice her size without a second thought. He gave you a small head pat hoping to convey his feelings and left. And so, your friendship started.

In the weeks that followed, he took it upon himself to teach you some self-defense in the form of archery. He definitely didn’t choose to teach you this so that he can hold you in his arms while guiding you to fire an arrow or anything. The two of you actually got to get to know each other a bit better through these lessons. You, for one, had come to see the real Yasu, a gentle kind spirit. You fell in love with him a little during these lessons. Often after these lessons, he would invite you over for some tea, obviously, under the pretense of you needing to rehydrate; otherwise, you are going to cause problems for him if you fainted from dehydration. During one of these tea dates, you even got to meet the little fawn. Better yet, Ieyasu gave you a basket full of veg to feed the little deer by hand, your heart was won.

One day you were busy carrying some books back to the archive when you spotted Ieyasu. You called out to him so the two of you could walk together cause you noticed he was headed in the same direction. Your clumsiness decided to strike you and that very moment, as you tripped on the flat ground. You had braced yourself for the pain of hitting the floor only to land onto something soft…. Ieyasu. Both of you were now nose to nose. Yasu’s heart was beating out of his chest, and honestly, both of your faces couldn’t be any redder. You helped him up while apologizing profusely only to be met with not a scold but him laughing. You were so confused even more, so when he let it slip that, only he could fall in love with a clumsy girl like you. When that statement slipped from his mouth, his eyes went wide at the realization, and he covered his mouth with both his hands. You just smiled and grabbed hold of both his hands, pulling them down so you could give him a small kiss. You just looked at his utterly shocked expression, gave him the biggest smile, said “me too,” and continued on route to the archive. And that my friend is how your relationship started.

Both of you weren’t really big on romance, but you did show your love for each other with little gestures. Yasu also opened up completely to you during this time about everything. Especially about his past and how weak and defenseless he sometimes felt. You just accepted this softie boi with open arms. You told him your beliefs on karma and that all those who had caused him pain in the past would have to answer for their cruelties eventually. He thought he must have had some crazy good karma to have found and be loved by someone as beautifully wonderful as you. The two of you loved to spend time together cuddling and nuzzling each other. Hugging Ieyasu was like embracing a big soft cloud, it was so sweet and warm. He loved giving you little Eskimo and butterfly kisses to show his affection. His kisses were soft like a whisper and as sweet as candy. You loved it when the two of you would spend your breaks together, just playing outside with wasabi or chilling under a shady tree. Or even when he would surprise you with some homemade rice balls for the two of you to share in the garden. The two of you could often be found snuggled up together, reading while sipping on some tea in the warm summer sun.

Other potential matches.............Masamune or even Nobunaga 

I hope you enjoyed it! and thanx again for the request! ^0^

[hometownrockstar]

Ok by popular demand (aka me wanting to info dump about my main) here is my epic splat brella guide!! follow this guide and you will be a brella pro hopefully! :) remember that you can succeed at anything with a little bit of practice and dedication, and you’ll need that if you wanna use a brella bc it is... a difficult weapon. i will put this under a cut bc i wrote a lot of stuff! but if you check it out then thank you!

The Brella’s Shots: I tend to compare the brella’s shots to a blaster in my mind due to the shape of its shots and that it almost has indirect and direct shots, though it still functions differently. Indirect shots are when you hit the opponent with a fall off shot or with your aim slightly off, making not all of the pellets in your shot land their full damage. This can make a splat either a 2 shot kill (2 directs or 1 direct and a close enough indirect) or a 3-4 or more shot kill based on how close your other shots hit. There’s also a 1 shot kill where you hit the opponent with a direct and hold your brella open right after it and walk into them with it open, splatting them with the brella shield’s 30 damage hit. A very fun and quick way to splat opponents, but pretty situational as its super close range, good for ambushes and flanking though.

Splatting Strategy: The best strategy is to get in close to your opponents, not playing based on your range unless your trying to pick off fleeing opponents as that lowers the damage of your shots, and if you dont land/dont believe you’ll land your second shot then you start to open your brella while your opponents shooting at you, closing it and shooting when you predict they’ll stop shooting, rinse and repeat. its somewhat risky unless you make sure not to let them flank you while your brella’s open, or if they run out of ink, or they happen to miss their shots, or you predict their movements correctly. Getting your shots to land is similar to chargers (and probably blasters) in my experience, in that you have to shoot where you’ll predict your opponent is going to go. if you can master this then you’ll be a brella master! I’d also recommend playing on low sensitivity if you use motion controls as it makes your shots easier to aim, i play at around -2.5!

Weapon Advantages/Disadvantages: Weapons to watch out for are blasters (their shots will usually ignore your brella if they shoot slightly to the side or up. Flank them from the side or the back), sloshers (not the biggest problem unless they shoot at you from above), other brellas (theyre gonna try to predict when your shield is down, try to do the same to them but get the upper hand on them! Getting the first shot on them is crucial) and dualies (their rolls can cause issues when predicting where to shoot. Using the 1 shot/brella kill is recommended for them). Weapons you have an advantage over are rollers (easy to predict when they’ll stop attempting to hit you, allowing you to block and shoot efficiently) chargers and splatlings (you can block their quick-killing shots and hit them while theyre charging, but make sure to time it right) and shooters (watch out for close range and fast firing shooters however as they might splat you before you can even get your shield up.)

Maps And Terrain Advantages: Corners and tight corridors are your friends, and your friends are your friends as well! Shooting at opponents while in a corner or corridor can prevent the enemy from flanking behind you, and backing an opponent into a corner can be an easy 1 shot/brella kill. Some good splat brella maps are Blackbelly Skatepark, Moray Towers, Walleye Warehouse, and Port Mackerel. If you’re being overwhelmed by an opponent or two, try keeping your brella open and let a teammate splat them while theyre shooting at you. This weapon is a major support and assist weapon, its recommended that you dont go out of your way for kills unless theyre retreating or you have an advantage over them. Also be careful about getting into 2v1s, you’re basically certain to get splatted if youre outnumbered and dont have a teammate nearby. If you need to retreat try sending out your brella and superjumping back to base or swimming backwards, otherwise sending out your brella is mostly useless. i’d recommend getting the timing for when your brella automatically sends off so you can maximize how much you can hold it open. 

Game Modes: this weapon excels in splat zones, tower control and turf war the most, it paints very well and is good at charging its special to provide support with ink storm (or splat bomb rush if you use the sorella brella). this may sound obvious but this weapon is a defensive weapon in ranked, youre gonna wanna stay in the zone or on the tower and block any enemies from trying to get in. be sure to move around a lot and have a easy path to retreat in case multiple enemies try to come for you at once, though since tower control and splat zones are restricted to small areas retreating doesnt always have to be an option cause your teammates might be close enough to give you a hand. also always get on the tower! always!!! you can aim upwards and shoot your pellets over the tower to scare off anyone trying to climb on from the other side, and when you get on you can stop them from climbing on with your shield. try to block shots instead of shooting at opponents while the tower is moving, unless they are distracted and within splatting range. enemies swimming towards you and not shooting are very easy to pick off however.

Specials: For specials, i dont have much to say about the sorella brella bc i dont use it, i much prefer the more defensive splat brella kit as it compliments the weapon’s playstyle better imo. Try to throw your ink storm as soon as you get it as you’ll charge it pretty steadily with your sprinkler and with how good the brella is at painting, but if there are no enemies around try to wait till several opponents are in one place or when theyre trying to make a push in ranked and throw it to support your teammates. After your rain has been going on for a while you can look for damaged retreating opponents and catch them off guard with an easy 1 or 2 shot splat.

Tips: A tip regarding superjumping is that you can hold your brella open as you land back into the fray, meaning that chargers can’t splat you as you come in, and it can allow you to either retreat from other spawncampers or try to splat them back instead! 

a fun tip is that bombs blow up automatically on your brella but dont splat you (they can splat your teammates if theyre in front of your brella tho so watch out!), so you can hold your brella open and pop the bomb on it before its supposed to go off, its very good for suction and autobombs and a good way to clear a path in ranked when the opponents are trying to suppress your push. your shield will be destroyed by 2-4 bombs usually. it’ll also break if youre in close proximity to a splashdown or a baller explosion, so if you find yourself in a situation like that just retreat or superjump back to base, cause you wont win without your shield...... unless its a charger, like the kensa charger or goo tuber, in which case you might be able to splat them assuming they dont retreat fast enough!

another tip is with tentamissles, you can sort of block the damage from them if they dont fall directly on top of you and as long as theres not too many, if you find youself backed into a corner bc ur teammates ran past you and the missles surround you try holding your brella up! wont work everytime but its saved me from dumb splats countless times.

EDIT: another tip regarding sprinklers that i forgot to add! you can throw a sprinkler on top of an enemy superjump point and easily splat them with 1 direct or the brella shield as they jump in! sprinkler is really good for bait as well to use to ambush people, as stealth is very important for getting splats with the brella. you can also throw a sprinkler in a certain place where the enemy can come through to keep watch, if you see your sprinkler being destroyed you can alert your team where theyre coming from. i use this technique on the enemy side alley to the right on Ancho-V Games most often!

Gear Abilities: As for gear recommendations, ink main saver is a must due to how many times youre gonna be repeatedly shooting at an opponent, and how you lose ink when you hold your brella open. Special charge up is good for both the splat and sorella brella to allow you to always have a trump card when you need it. Run speed up may be good for strafing while shooting, but i prefer swim speed up to make flanking and chasing retreating opponents easier, as well as retreats. Quick super jump is good as well to allow you to get into the action quickly and to retreat back to spawn fast. Ninja squid is a pretty good ability as well seeing as stealth is your main asset in splatting opponents, but i personally dont run it as i prefer being fast (also i dont have any ninja squid shirt that fit my outfit) Main power up makes your brella come back faster after it’s been destroyed or after letting it go, and with enough you can even regain your brella before your sent-off umbrella has despawned. Though I wouldnt recommend it too much but it might be good for ranked and especially tower control. this is my gear setup, and the only thing i’d recommend is not using a main of quick superjump like me, one or 2 subs would work just as well. i just love quick superjump and those shoes fit my outfit :3c

[pilica-nevarya]

Forgiveness...

Fandom: Inazuma Eleven Characters: Isozaki Kenma, Mitsuyoshi Yozakura, Shinoyama Mitsuru, Yorozuya Yoshichika, Tsurugi Kyousuke, Tsurugi Yuuichi, Basato Toushi, Shirato Kiyoshirou Words: 2064 Part: One-shot Note: Mannouzaka joined the revolution and this is how I imagine how it happened. There are also some hcs in it like Yorozuya being Isozaki’s uncle.

It’s been a while since the match between Mannouzaka and Raimon. Isozaki Kenma, the SEED who failed guiding his team to defeating Raimon has disappointed his coach… and uncle. The boy with his two-colored hair was walking through the streets, thinking. He thought a lot about what happened after being defeated like that. He remembered very well the moment Tsurugi Kyousuke snapped and changed sides… joining the rest of Raimon against Fifth Sector. It was his fault. Because he tried to break Matsukaze’s legs. But… was it really his? After all it was his uncle who more or less ordered him to do so. He himself was shocked by the rather rough method Tsurugi used to try to get Matsukaze to finally give up after all. Isozaki sighed, entering the store. He had a rather rough time having to explain to his coach how he could lose like that. After the match he was devastated. Thinking about everything he had reached the conclusion that Tsurugi was right to betray Fifth Sector. Isozaki was just blindly following, after his uncle brought him into this organisation. But… how would he be supposed to get on terms with Tsurugi again? After all he saw the utter hate in his eyes back then. But why? Tsurugi knew to which lengths Fifth Sector would go. »Hey, did you hear? Raimon won again! There’s a good possibility they could win the Holy Road!« Hearing those words from another customer he gulped. In the end he found what he was searching and left the store again, noticing someone outside. It was Tsurugi, heading in the direction of the hospital. What is he doing there? Wondering Isozaki decided to follow him.  Reaching the hospital he kept on following the Raimon player until he entered a patient’s room. Isozaki checked the name plate and blinked in surprise. Tsurugi Yuuichi…? Was Kyousuke’s brother sick? Once Kyousuke asked him if he had any siblings and after he answered with a ‘no’ Kyousuke revealed that he had an older brother called Yuuichi. But he didn’t tell Isozaki any details. »Nii-san… How are your legs?« Legs? Eavesdropping was no good, yes, but was it his fault that he was right next to the door and therefore heard the question? »The Reha is helping and I’m making some progress. I heard you won again, I’m glad you found your love for soccer again Kyousuke.« »You’ll be able to play soccer as well again! Your legs will recover and you’ll be able to stand on the field again, together with me. Until then I’ll destroy this corrupt soccer so-«

Isozaki heard enough. He left the hospital, feeling awful at the realisation. That was it… that was how he hurt his friend…. Former friend. »People like him don’t deserve to be able to play soccer!« His own words resounded in his head. He could only imagine how that must’ve made Tsurugi feel. Obviously he would hate him… Since the match he had thought about it a lot and now finally got an answer. He definitely got carried away in the moment back then. He wanted to make his uncle proud which was the reason why he went so far without thinking. Isozaki returned home and entered his room after putting the food in the kitchen.

Having made a decision, he returned the next day to training. »Mitsuyoshi, I need to talk to you.« Mitsuyoshi blinked but then nodded. »Sure thing, what’s it captain?« They moved to the side and Isozaki told Yozakura about his plan. »You want to defeat Eito? But Fifth Sector ordered us to lose 5-0.« »I don’t care! I won’t listen to Fifth Sector anymore and will never do so again! We will destroy Eito no matter how many goals we have to take!« Hearing his captain like that Mitsuyoshi chuckled. »You want to oppose your uncle? And Fifth Sector?« »Yes, Yes I want to do just that. The Holy Emperor will change soon anyway. Tsurugi will defeat Fifth Sector and the new Holy Emperor will change Fifth Sector for sure. I’m sick of this Fifth Sector!« Another chuckle was the answer to Isozaki’s emotional words. »I really don’t know you like that Isozaki, but I’m iiiiiiiiin! Hahaha, this will be fuuuun!«

The two SEEDs decided to not tell anyone else about their plan. Isozaki was sure that the rest of the team would follow their example. After all, he was aware how much they disliked to lose. As for Shinoyama… Isozaki was certain that he would tell his uncle before the match if he’d tell Shinoyama because out of the three SEEDs he was the most loyal besides… he wasn’t important to the plan. Isozaki didn’t intend to let Eito even get close to shooting in the first place.

The day of the friendly match between Eito and Mannouzaka arrived. Eito had the ball at the beginning but as soon as it began, Mitsuyoshi dashed, getting the ball with ease. The SEED didn’t even need half a minute to score the first goal. Both teams as well as their coaches seemed shocked. Everyone besides Mitsuyoshi and Isozaki. The audience on the other hand liked this great start! »What’s this?! Seconds into the game Mitsuyoshi Yozakura scored a goal, faster than anyone could see!« The commentator’s voice was sounding from the speakers and with a bright grin Mitsuyoshi high-fived with Isozaki.

Mannouzaka’s coach stared blankly at his nephew. How dare he support such a behaviour?! And this was only the beginning! The match continued and Mitsuyoshi was continuing to strike, his laughter easily heard even from the audience. »What are you doing?! Kenma! Stop this immediately!« But Yorozuya Yoshichika shouted in vain. Isozaki behaved as if he didn’t hear anything. He decided to let Mitsuyoshi have his fun. After the middle of the first half he even started to use Purim.

When the whistle announced half-time Yorozuya’s face was red of anger. He reminded Mitsuyoshi that he was a SEED and that he was opposing Fifth Sector. »Do I? I thought I’m following their orders~«, Mitsuyoshi answered chuckling, full of sarcasm. »Enough! Basato, you will go in! Mitsuyoshi, you’re benched now! And Kenma… why didn’t you stop him?« »Uncle, I tried to but… you know that Mitsuyoshi won’t listen to anyone. And if I would’ve lectured him on the field and not played the proud captain it’d make the people more suspicious. You know they pay more attention to our actions since the Raimon match.« He sighed and made a resigning movement with his hands. Yorozuya then sighed as well and started to talk to Basato. Behind his back Isozaki smirked and winked at Mitsuyoshi who just giggled. »Captain.« Isozaki turned around facing the third SEED of their team. »What’s it Shinoyama?« Black eyes were glaring at him for some moments before he received an answer. »Thanks to Mitsuyoshi I now have to take 7 goals. We should report him to Fifth Sector, even tho… I assume Coach already does just that. Also… you should maybe do… some own goals. Eito is that bad that I think they wouldn’t even make a goal if they’d shoot within 1 meter distance and no one in between.« Isozaki couldn’t help but laugh at this. »Don’t worry Shinoyama… I already have the proper actions for the second half in mind.« »Good.«, Shinoyama said before returning to the others taking a drink. Not as if he had anything to do this game anyway.

At the end of half-time Mitsuyoshi was sitting on the bench, giggling, watching the others go to the field. Mannouzaka had the ball to start off. Within seconds Basato ‘lost’ the ball to Eito. But this wasn’t for long. Isozaki ran back to the middlefield and without much effort gained the ball. »Shinoyama!« He was looking at the goalkeeper who was getting ready. Expecting an own goal disguised as a back-pass. Isozaki self-passed into the air before he… shot. He shot at Eito’s goal! And scored! Shinoyama stared at his captain. »W-what the… what the hell are you doing Isozaki?!« Isozaki didn’t answer. Not until he stole the ball again from Eito. Mannouzaka’s captain raised his voice. Looking at his team. »What I’m doing?! Mannouzaka joins the revolution! Fifth Sector as we currently know it is doomed. I’m positive on Raimon keeping on winning, as I believe in Tsurugi’s capabilities. The Holy Emperor WILL change! And we, as Mannouzaka, won’t support this organisation anymore. So far we’ve been only used by them to destroy teams whenever needed. They never actually WANTED us to play a regular soccer so we’d be here to handle others roughly. Mitsuyoshi scored in the last half on my order and this half it is on us to do so. Those who want to join us shall do so. Those who don’t are free to leave the team after this match. Either way, we will destroy Eito and go against Fifth Sector’s orders.« It was quiet for some moments before some people nodded. »We’re in captain. Let’s have some fun.«, Shirato claimed. »Perfect.«, was all Isozaki said with a smirk on his face. »KENMA! What the hell are you doing!? Get yourself together IMMEDIATELY!«, Yorozuya’s voice was clearly heard from the bench. Again his face was red completely. Mitsuyoshi right next to him clapped though. »Great words Captain, hihihi.« The SEED definitely had his fun with this. »I got myself together uncle and I’ll prove it!«, Isozaki said and ran towards Eito’s goal. It was easy to outplay the defense and standing in front of the goal, Isozaki grinned widly.

»Thousand Arrow!« Isozaki finally was using a hissatsu. The first time he was getting absolutely serious to make it clear where he stands. Of course Eito’s goalkeeper had no chance catching it and that was just the beginning of the rain of goals following by Shirato, Basato and Isozaki himself. Even some of the midfielders joined in! Even Yorozuya gave up calling out to his nephew. With this much of a movement switching them all would be impossible. There was nothing he could do.

The game finally ended with a score of 14:0 with Mannouzaka obviously winning. The team returned to the bench and left the broken down Eito players on the field who chancelessly tried to put up a fight anyway. Isozaki went to his bottle and started to drink. Ignoring his uncle who was claring at him. »Isoooozaki! That was great!« Mitsuyoshi basically flew at him, hugging his captain. »You destroyed them! That was wonderful!« The keshin-user giggled and Isozaki just let him be clingy for once. After all, he could be thankful to Mitsuyoshi working with him. »Isozaki… you did that on purpose, didn’t you? You held back in the first half so you could be the spark in the second half… without fearing anyone would be switched-out. You knew it would be a strange move for coach to exchange multiple people.« Isozaki nodded at Shinoyama’s question. »Exactly. Also… Mitsuyoshi liked the idea so I thought giving him the first half to play around should be enough. What will you do Shinoyama? Be a good puppy and stay loyal to Fifth Sector or will you join us?«  Shinoyama sighed. »When you were chosen as the captain out of us three SEEDs I told you that I’d follow your lead… and this still stands.«

Yorozuya finally let out his burst of anger, yelling at his nephew. But Isozaki didn’t listen. He knew his uncle couldn’t do much. The team was rebelling as a whole and he couldn’t just exchange everyone and he also knew that his uncle liked soccer too much to close the club.

Returning home Isozaki took something for dinner and then returned to his room. He took out his phone and started to type. Hey Tsurugi It’s been a while. I don’t know if you know it but… Mannouzaka was ordered to highly lose today’s match. But we won. 14:0. I wanted to let you know that we’re joining your revolution. I believe that you will win and destroy this corrupt soccer. Hopefully you can forgive me for everything that happened. I followed my uncle’s orders without thinking twice. I’m really… sorry. Feel free to either ignore this message or hmu if you want to revive our old friendship. Either way, I know you will go your way. Iso

[owlhuikj]

Therapy Owl Blush

Therapy Owl Blush

by hui kj

It is all to want to end crying naturally - to know better to save one grey, but it is her any way in her holiday summer of sonder she proclaims sincerely: what can I do as long as I am here this morning without space-self-allowed for unearthly, vivid backing that I know she knows I do not have but kindly…? Lightning made us still progressively more simply while it gave her infinity score. 

They never let their cat out; well, the morning thunder, we scared said cat, were  living fast hours ago, adjacent to sound and body rhythm because the drugs would not let us down tired but all sensual us three locators of thing-happenings, kinesis getting away from only me, and shame or not stance, all done with a rain dance - as long as I feel like I am helping - she calls it: Jupiter’s Juniper. The quite quaint house owners, them two over there - the boy tooting and her still hitting the pipe and me involved with true mania: watched the storm come in on the couch near the window and she said the world is not ready to end which was actually strategically spun into sanity - their mouths were not dropped like mine and we smiled for moments.

He told me that he can repair or let go with ease from a weary concern into the stable format regarding the ranking of best at lowest or curious in curious measure, we all with equal, strung out bed headed pose discussion in their living room where I am staying for the weekend. The paranoia passed after long hours, and all the colors changed in this summer of sonder right in the suburbs near campus around Cornell of New York, with the angry clouds scaring them but relieving me because every go at the rush enables me to focus on what is nature and what is nurture but hiss tone via meth until you shifted and stare: think a bunch. 

Save her, but nobody ever knew her like she has her - do not tell a soft heart to switch any lights: believe me tired, believe me I have cried at this. The six red suicides - famous around here: or the psychic nurturing mind submerged, spirit kingdom guide the one here telling us both she got an abortion earlier this month before she even wondered if it was mine or his, she mentioned while all tweaked out and actively bothered, that she progresses thru forward as best, gray pain not letting her make way for lazy insight for anything or anyone to blame; it is just what it is - she did want to tell us, and our lack of comments beneath or opinions at all, our current way of life empowered her immensely and we were more than happy to attempt to get her speaking on as she regarded but never attempted much out of just a extraordinary simplicity but when spoke: all vibrant she. Meth season parties all blend and form the stupid, very real angst of the submerged boys, us two who are looking up to her but the angst very much present - we are mustering power against the wicked bleakness of ourselves, and we, the paused, curious jesters, three conjoined all the way to the god’s and goddesses of Jupiter’s Juniper - we are going to wait around until she finds God one last time, never ending tho and the rain is music for any motion or thought at all to resemble what she could and - at times - could not forecast as our guide while there was definitely channeling effort but a morning for mourning from a complex sincerity which was accepted. 

Even if we waltzed over future from that choice from the woman waving of a one at she be too young to manage care and or just a lack of enthusiasm or exactness at this moment, but with sane and reasonable position; a differing vision that seeing the freedom and the influence: all have her men in her life salivate and scramble, but veined all the same before and after like always but now is in complex tamed release, but the boys seem to shrug it off like me for random, few day binges until my own empathy for myself stretches out the room and out the door until a life is going and manage individuality, although drastically drifted and gardened singularity that the boys think up even if she mentioned ecstasy and love: the brain is worse than the rain and anything or if remaining grays and she will look up with her long hair and she knows our God but they are the ones with the guns for living faced at doom, terror, or something that you could regret and conjure but seemed oriented with choice or not - defensive intruder murder, suicide, or in her mind - why she is blue - at bay tho her all around innocent either, look a rainbow - but she will remain altogether - and moved over where my arms today on the couch pulling her close with her paleness quivered shine as shiny spotlight in the storm, and the tv was muted and the cars beeped in the suburb streets and he, the other but common, would not know Jupiter because that’s her Lucifer Hell and all the staring at walls with her blueprint maps and symbol expression that goes on her shamanic YouTube channel or a simple notebook, and all the meth and the other same one, could be enemy, would not know Jupiter if she pointed to the flashing NASA Channel - but he will read about suicide in the paper in the summer of sonder and the drugs will not kill his empathy but he will let their cat get fat (?!) and invite different boys, and be the one to encourage a re-up but only ever barely chips in because he can barely afford to pay his half of rent with disability for his bipolar and selling his own chill pills all so we can blow holes in our souls and - every time - vaguely successful or not with a woman who does not need me definitely but he stays. They have been a couple for three years and I am past it but remain anyway.

Alaina knew one of the Cornell bridge jumpers who made a couple Poe posts on Facebook, which she saw in fact and liked even and then she felt that a darkness made all smart and emotionally free in a way and that he was nonetheless countering the grim and taking care of himself - she even invited him over but he did not reply. My aunt committed suicide six years ago after a different death in the family after the summer remembered every summer - I want to at least attempt to take the pain away before great goes without hope or the idea in construction…

‘Are y’all okay? Are you good?’ I sat up eager and pulled at my hair and looked back and forth.

She grabbed my shoulder and scratched soft with her nails down my back. She laid in my arms on the couch and she fed herself and offered to feed me strawberries while Zack played with his facial hair cursing at the cat that hid behind the tv. 

‘Zack, you should not have mentioned the gun…’ she said. 

‘Ok, Doc. I thought this is the sonder summer? Buddy may get like us…’

‘I look out for you.’ Her words spelled love. God, I love how she said that. 

It was their hideout-house welcoming a community of sensitivity; I followed the cat to the back door to be let outside, and at the kitchen the food made me sick from the memory of the taste from a couple hours back when bread was little prickly razorblades toxic to desire. Alaina reached for him and let him spoon after he asked for her choice of record to be dim, soothing background noise while my school work was in need of attendance still on the counter. The rain slowed down but the atmosphere emerging inside or out was more acceptable, but still mundane and grey - I looked over to them. She was curled up staring at the wall why Zack stroked her hair and hummed slowly and wonderfully along with the music. I tapped my pen and made underlines and notes on papers for my internship work as an aspiring prose editor - Poe scared us all. Nobody was tired in late afternoon in the sonder summer - dates and days unimportant, to be content if we can together. She started to take notes on her phone for a new video on how facts do not remain facts from the point angle of free choice, all piled up from her recent but at this time polluted indifferences that keeps her psyche buzzing but not shaking the world as she always does, this time damage felt - I love the empathy - she is consistently romantic, and that seemed like a fact to me. We are all thinned out by the grown-up squeeze rioted against and protested, she a leader - the sonder she felt on LSD when the snow dissolved months ago, where the boundaries dissolved. But this summer we became three hearty members of where the world will be when we are finished - but it was her high and thriving in talk of destiny: cannot sleep; wires are loves and the millions of them got scared away and I was not afraid, and every individual will change everything we agreed. I just have other stuff going on.

‘…and a prayer to parthenon floats light discovery against palms that will not clench but let go forever in debt to blissful hope in faith.’ - I read from a sophomore’s essay but the room aura and out the window kept it grey from a potential enthusiasm. Across the room, Alaina shivered, hunched over, still near zero physically and prophetically, and wept quietly while the boy holding her got up and sighed all the way to the fridge, and I thought to myself that losing on purpose in company only wakes up the in-between hope in faith for the new battle of the best hum where the two have the same song, just a different queue. 

‘What were you telling me Zack?’ I asked.

‘Well Buddy, when Doc ain’t here, we ain’t no family - eh?’

~

She was not an accident; who questions? I will see them next month to still wonder. At two in the morning all the clothes were back on and I grabbed my backpack and fled to the McDonald’s on my way across town to my father’s house. There was an old, black fellow wearing a red sweater flipping thru poetry and no one else in the restaurant but us - I just ordered a water and sat down in the back with my laptop all to have wifi to submit for my summer English course that is in fact the only real thing in my life but completely without close company ever hence the visit to home. After I submitted my assignment, I opened Facebook and looked at the Poe boy and then to Alaina’s page to view her Youtube’s latest but posted time ago. 

Every month she provides an optimistic lecture on a tension in a relatable society and has been offered lecture booking at Cornell but she refuses to leave her home no matter what, even if her 100k subscribers worship her undeniable compassion and insight that she is distances herself from, and does not check comments and has a stack of fan-mail she is overly sensitive about but always managing to connect what is highly thought about but no one ever made it a gift like she did. 

Alaina’s fingers ran thru her own brown, short hair, and I let the video play without sound and merely watched her hand movements and her fragile but sincere facial expressions bringing an extreme, opposing jealousy and a fiery infatuation that I was able to mute and mute but jittery. This all is completely asexual to me with a sobering acceptance that if she has herself under control and if a casual, distant friendship is what is exactly the reality and mutual ringing bell it is. At that moment be seeing that the world would be saved, and that change is not what we claim because there is no rupturing chaos: only that what I hold onto is the way it has always been. 

‘Sir, here is the pen you dropped at the counter…’ - then I walked out into the sonder summer night and got in my car; leaving everywhere, all the time as a life half-half there and here but never not going: pool party events on Facebook - I need some sleep. 

Around noon on this Monday there was a familiar voice in dialogue in my father’s house downstairs, and my tweaking drifted almost all away but knew I could not smoke weed for tension-release until the men took off for work again after lunch here. It was my dad’s childhood best friend who was here often because they each lived alone - one divorced, one widowed. In actuality, my only problem now was to not sound gay or scientific but rather wise of adult college things to say and avoid shifting into the words of how I quit my dishwashing job last week or acting like I was used to talking at all with all my zero, daily practice besides with the sonderers - I reminded myself this was the summer, and if I happen to get him to teach me a song on the guitar: maybe I will not feel like such a lost cause and if I am going to slash zen, I am going to get someone out of trouble or simply delighted even but besides myself as that works. When I was little, my dad would sing and his friend would play music - a fond memory.

God still hopes to exist and save even if I do not believe it or hear it witnessed from older men. If the summer of sonder does not exist: do I want it to exist?

‘It is the sonder summer…’

‘Say what?’

‘Community of equal value - held by quotes unsayable but acknowledged and cherished…not witchcraft, it is my friend…she is,…wonderful.’

His younger son’s were funny when we were growing up - my father acknowledged how well-behaved they were but they carried an all-alright-burden of the fact they would never not be good: they are still good of course, and their good will stay around outside of who is home - continuity froze me curious but pale, out for the same good anyways.

Zack sent me six emails. He said something ethereally vibrant had shook their space - he said that not only was the sun coming out and blaring forms in contact coming apparent, but the equation of love Alaina muttered and counted about but never could manage was fluid now, and their cat is on it’s ninth life and bolted for mission but it did not make them sad…he said that she would hold the numbers and every decision’s outcome was beyond apparent before, and saving any would mean pain - unless she redeemed suicide and conjured a contradiction that would undo zen to strengthen faith. I emailed back that I would check my schedule for an odd reason - my house was empty and it was the summer of sonder. He said the police took her away to the Psych and somehow avoid possession, and the other - just the other day was just the other - was on his way to my house. 

~

To me it was just the meth that had me drawn, but now… some things save everything but you just know the destruction pieces will be pursued and lately any system seems to me an unfair way of looking onto pain: an annoying mock-triumph when God let good and evil happen for all and all to take away some all for precious, false perspective on monument that had it’s strength all out, but who knows who that was? I knew her, the one zooming out by herself till Jupiter’s Juniper…even if my faith was small…

‘Her brother says she has never been alone.’ Zack said while moving his rook. 

‘So you want me to come with you to visitation on Wednesday?’ I cared of course.

Yet, in my perspective I was initially just a fan of her channel and close by until they seemed to like me and asked me to stay and never to leave because her channels are true he says, and I know her and I are the skeptics: Zack, the one that differs and is more about the meth and the television, and the one who never checks in on the latest about agreed, open frequencies and all the while the most horny. 

He proclaims Alaina earned her energy like a bird flying over a volcano, but he does not know how, and yet continues to proclaim he caught a glimpse of her wavelength and gave up science and logic to follow her as long she will leave a trail to orbit. Zack does not see that she is recklessly grey; so I open up the window and put on a record to smoke weed while he breathed slowly lying down on my bed. 

One-two-three-one too…this is the life. I miss my mother. She will visit me and I will ask who she is; ‘I told you to dream.’ She would say all peaceful. Alaina let collapses form for the purpose of saying the difficult things and unchanging no matter who was in her house or what was on tv. My mother had been to hospitals when she was young, but my mental state was not similar - she was a worried mess a giver, OCD even and found hardships with all sorts of health interferences like cancer. 

Alaina could not smile - even if she did she would think she was losing it and getting weaker; lazy too or psychotic. The hospital will keep her around people all with a schedule, and hopefully finally give medicine a chance, and give herself a break from cosmic mismatches or rings, both intertwining then imploding for the sake of reaching beyond reincarnation for the slash.

Alaina left me a voice message. 

‘…and that sort of thing - what if it would have shaped and shaped me? I am terrified but will see it thru. My senses are preschool and I have corrupted connections and if I am to disarm violence then it will be odd after. When they look: I wait or not. Ha. Catatonic or conscience angel they think. The doctor put me on a medicine and I blacked out: walked straight into a wall: fell and fell wstraight back onto my skull on  the ground to only ask if I fell. The group sessions at mock-shift pointing - I remember titles of poems but not the words and as long as some of these things keep the sonder as filter for…oops, gotta go! Take care…’ 

~~~~~~~

Someone took my picture and said I would be grateful. An old friend told me she had not kissed anyone ever, but we just jumped on the trampoline anyway. We jumped in the pool - one told one that I read their favorite book. A boy made hamburgers and showed us his printed photography. People embraced each other but I backed away - and the others that were backing away I wanted to embrace, but I just smoked cigarettes standing still as the earth spun in our summer. Even if high school was the thing that kept us on our toes, maybe frightened, and this backyard could actually be lied in and someone will come looking for you or not. You could be playing the piano and someone would fall from a balcony. If you tuck in an upset friend: you do not ever have to go to a party again but still can get free or cheap tattoos. You can refuse a handshake because of sweaty palms, but still turn on a song about spirit there and feeling lost. You will be best friends at a different party but they say you smell bad here. You can see Christians giddy off one shot of vodka, or think of dimensions on the floor where those photographs were laid out. 

You can work on mending your life at work or not. My aunt said she did not want to be called beautiful. She refused help and she said she had tried everything. I will never understand anyone. People will be worse or better off - go to school or do not - have depression or just happy - have purpose or burn out…these things do not determine value, and seeing Alaina maneuver Light while sacrificing her energy for the better of people - to love and look out for others, without ever suggesting guilt or bitterness: can not believe it.

The first time we had sex I cried looking into her eyes, and then alone when I went to the shower. Alaina will be remembered - not only by me but the world. Her video viewers latch onto the string of connections that the source would shape glory - yet, she does not leave the living room but remains the most loving creature with the love finding its way because it rightly should and is the most necessary story the world knows. Alaina will end crying - every woman shines and the rest of the animals of the world, and all the stars in the sky will align in her eyes: looking directly at me changing my sad tears into knowing safety like my aunt and mother are still here. 

Silly, simple me viewing pictures of ladybugs, jazz music, best friendships, dancing, flowers, trees, music, tattoos, laughing, blogs, coffee, paintings, names,…and the rest; all vivid and seeing with new eyes - heroes everywhere and everything everyday. And what a day! This evening the chosen boys will spend some time a girl named Alaina - I sure hope she is rested, and writing stuff down to share or not. 

We are proud of her, and the sun has been shining - we are off the drugs, and against her demons and grayness: we are coming together for her to hear about God and where he is at according to the one I trust. 

Zack and I waited in the cafeteria with other friends and families for the other patients, all will be gathered shortly. Myself, I was running my red pen thru some rough drafts with a new motivation of expression, and seeing how crafts build to reveal a moment in spectacle - Zack was calmly staring up at the clock, running his hands thru his beard, and tapping his foot very so lightly.

~

‘What was that?’

We sat in the parking lot staring forward. He touched my face and kissed me on the cheek. The hour for ourselves on the way home made me think of a specific medicine and guilt. Alaina looked dead - they murdered her with medicine and when she laid her arms on the table, looking at the table: she mentioned that they were telling her she was gay and quite ill with schizophrenia and gave her the disruptiveness shot that she was still drowned by.

‘Doctors do not know shit!’ I said as we pulled into their place. We closed in in the night thru the door.

I found zero inside but an ever glowing new hell that angels hinted that God saved - hint: are you ready? Do I want everyone to know? He told me to still. They, they, they, they, what? He asked, ‘Which ring of grace?’ - mothbethelmeen; familiar. 

~~~~~~~~~~

  ‘What if I dream of morning glee? - and an almost freedom stifled by a company I was born into. I’ll walk a mile in heaviness; starting fires but so putting them out because I just want to be alone. Maybe I’ll float and see the moon; a different, but my darkness around new light. But I get sick quick, become a star killer too. You have to settle and dream about other things. If you don’t, you may get real skinny and cut away. You don’t want that. I don’t want that. So you gain, make some new friends around lamp posts. You stretch out your hands and it is dark. The universe gets patted in and you walk outside and scramble for a match but it’s gone - everything is gone. You wail for friendship and get stuck in a four-walled-derange with nothing but you and your best friend: darkness…’

Dart responses theon / spelling bee AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH 1231_

=)

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[tumblunni]

Finally got back to finish Oneshot...

GAH

my emotions...

spoilers below

Okay I was spoiled beforehand, so i already knew the final choice is ‘save the world or save Niko’ from the point I set foot in the library. And I was very certain of my choice but the game still made me doubt it a hundred times over, DEAR GOD

Mostly the ‘reality game’ aspects of this thing have just been annoying to me. It gets in the way of the story a lot, and doesnt really... do anything? It feels like its ONLY there for the ‘wow how did they do that’ factor, I guess. But it just gets obnoxious and seriously its never actually made me ‘paranoid’ or anything, and if it DID then that isnt a good thing! I don’t get it... But yeah, its just mostly annoying having to search thru the game files every five seconds in order to solve the next puzzle, rather than it actually being IN THE GAME. And its annoying cos sometimes they don’t even TELL you that you need to look outside the game for the answer! There’s so much backtracking and pixel-hunting already, you didnt need to make me do it for no reason when you put the answer replacing my desktop all along, or whatever. And I just imagine how unplayable it would be for someone who’s computer isnt capable of doing all this stuff. like if they had an antivirus that blocks it, or a really old computer that lags out or crashes when it happens. Plus its SO STUPID that the ENTIRE POINT OF THE NAME OF THE GAME comes from a stupid trick it pulls on you in the ending. It tells you you only had one shot and you can’t play again, but then there ACTUALLY IS A NEW GAME PLUS and you CANT GET THE FULL ENDING WITHOUT IT. You HAVE to delete your save data from the files in order to PROGRESS THE GAME. I just... I just feel SO BAD for any players who go fooled by this or just didnt have enough meta sense to grasp some of these puzzles without a guide. Its like a ‘you must be this smart at random programming bullshit to progress’ barrier... So yeah this is the one game in all of time that I most reccommend using a guide for! I tried my best to do it without one but I missed a whole bunch of achievements and shit because of it. I guess at least that makes the newgame plus a little more fun, even if I’m still not exactly happy I have to do all these bullshit puzzles TWICE MORE to get the true ending... gahhhHHH

BUT

BUT

the ONE time the dumb meta puzzle bullshit was actually good and actually enhanced the story IS THE ENDING

The final puzzle has you running a second ‘decoder program’ from the game’s file directory (yeah, bullshit, IKR?) and it does actually have some creative puzzles of holding the image over the game window to reveal the right way to go. But more importantly, it does it in a very creative way! All the hints are pages torn from the Author’s journal, and you kinda have your first and last conversation with him via these. And he tells you about the sadistic choice you now have to make, and apologizes... :(

Also its very good meta that the Entity tries to interfere with you during this section. Usually there’s no damn reason for the stupid super hard meta puzzles, this time there IS a reason! In-universe, its supposed to be that the Entity has removed your ability to interact with the game normally, so you can ONLY solve this last puzzle by fiddling with the files. Its really really upsetting to see Niko being fooled by the Entity and there’s no way to talk to them, they think you left when its really some asshole depressed computer god that kicked you out! GAHHH!! But also i feel a lot of sympathy for the Entity cos the Author says they’re trying to destroy the world because they have no other way to kill themself. And the nature of the Entity is still left completely unexplained in this ending, which is why it SUCKS that the game tries to trick you into thinking there isnt a newgame plus! But it seems the entity might be like... an artificial god? With their powers they’re clearly more of a god than the player could ever be, but they talk like they’re one of the ‘tamed’ robots we’ve been seeing for the whole game. I’M REALLY REALLY CURIOUS ABOUT THIS TRUE ENDING, DAMMIT

Anyway... aaa... I picked to save the world instead of Niko. And I feel like COMPLETE SHIT! HOORAY! But like.. god.. I know that it would not be morally defensible to kill hundreds of strangers just to save one child I’ve grown to love so dearly. I’ve always got mad when characters in videogames choose to doom the world just to save their best friend, but this game really makes me feel just how hard that choice is to make! My only criticism is that maybe it wasnt as hard as it COULD have been, since you do meet a bunch of huggable characters throughout the game that you’ll love just as much as Niko. It was a decision that couldnt be made by any form of proper logic, so I just boiled it down to a stupid emotionless profit/loss analysis. I can cry over losing one person, or losing the dozens of others I also met, AND a whole world of strangers! Either way I cry equally as much! AAAARGH!! I JUST COULDNT STOP THINKING OF MR LAMPLIGHTER AND THE UNNAMED PANCAKE CAFE PERSON AND THE PROPHETBOT AND KIP AND SILVER AND THE BIRD FAMILY AND THE CAT HUGS ALLEYWAY ROBOT AND ALL THE OTHER CHARMING ROBOTS AND THE TINY LITTLE PHOSPHOR SHRIMP AND THE ROOMBA!!!!!!!!!! GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH But at least I was able to get some pancakes for Niko, and be honest with them about what was happening, and say goodbye. And at least in this ending nobody dies, its just that Niko can’t ever go home again so its equally as sad as if they died. And i can’t even talk to them ever again to comfort them!! GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH But like.. its mildly more optimistic than the alternative, I guess. Cos you get to see a montage of everyone else you ever met seeing the sun come back and crying. AND EVEN TINY BABY PLANT SPIRIT CAME BACK TO LIFE BECAUSE OF MY SIDEQUEST FINISHING POWERS I can feel like maybe Niko would be able to make a new life there, even if they’d always miss their momma and probably resent me for it... *sigh* its still better than 400+ other people not even getting the chance to make a new life, JUST so one mom and their kid can be happy but still it hurts dear god making the ‘right decision’ doesnt matter when it still hurts both decisions would be wrong to someone...

at least I didnt cry as much as I could have, cos I knew in advance that there’s a newgame plus and a true ending i dunno if the true ending is happier or sadder tho but DEAR GOD i would have been SO pissed off if i fell for the game’s stupid trick and never found the newgame plus and this was just THE END FOREVER fuk u developers u aint so clever *waving middle fingers as i descend into a quicksand of tears* god im not even emotionally okay enough to start playing again now i know i have to play two more times aaaaa and I have to see the other bad ending too aaaaaaaa and i have to walk through everywhere again now with the knowledge of how it ends AND the newgame plus has added dialogues and stuff just to rub it in aaaaaaaaaaa god i dont know whether to congratulate the developer or be REALLY ANGRY at them god just fuck me up AAAAAAAAAAA i am not a god, please stop giving me the responsibilities of a god please can anyone else decide who lives and dies please can niko hug their mom again without everyone else losing their moms in order to do it AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA this game.