#tho forgive me if anything is incoherent

[chuuyanakaahara]

20 questions for fic writers!

stealing the tag from @littencloud9 because i am also a yapper <3

how many works do you have on ao3?

i actually have two ao3 accounts from when i was leaving one fandom and joining another, and i've since lost the password for the first, so... for all intents and purposes it's 40 <3

what's your total ao3 word count?

691,442

what fandoms do you write for?

bsd all the way !! i'll occasionally write a jjk fic (they have a hold on me <3) or start a batfam fic, but it's primarily jjk. tho admittedly i've been a lot more focused on my original project lately!

what are your top five fics by kudos?

mine are a fun collection of "fics that i just thought would be funny/ cathartic" or fics that i had to white-knuckle through writing. none are MY favorites, though i'm admittedly proud of them :] 1. delusion is weighing me down / bsd + sskk / 100k. 2. symptoms of singularity / bsd + skk + outsider pov (atsushi) / 6.9k. 3. act of faith / bsd + skk / 125k. 4. fig tea accusations / bsd + sskk / 3.7k 5. stray god / bsd + tachizaki (or tanitachi) / 73k.

do you respond to comments? why or why not?

for sure! i try to, at least. i'm not the best at responding to them (they all tend to start with "ahhhh thank you !" in typical cherri fasion...) but i love getting comments! i have this superstition wherein if i don't respond to them i won't get more. and i'm an attention whore sometimes.

what's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i don't tend to do angsty ending, honestly? i'm very much a happy ending sort of guy. i get sad at Many twhat the fuck hings with bad endings and it typically isn't the cathartic sad that i wish it was! but if i had to choose, pigment of heartache (fukumori) maybe? even then, that's just an ambiguous / open ending.

what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

anything without the ambiguous / open ending tag,,, i don't actually know! maybe back to fig tea accusations?

do you get hate on fics?

not publicly at least! tho if someone were to trash act of faith in private, i would probably join them. i Don't like that one.

do you write smut?

i've ventured into it in a couple of private docs, though i've never posted anything with explicit sexual content other than part of a (still ambiguous) kousano one-shot.

do you write crossovers?

i sure do in my head. can never get the balls nor the motivation to write one out entirely though. my au of shame (i love it dearly) is a bsd supernatural au just because. holy shit its funny.

have you ever had a fic stolen?

not publicly!

have you ever had a fic translated?

not on this account!

have you ever cowritten a fic before?

not one that's finished! perpetually staring at my and @soysaurus' tachigin hockey au doc tho. i love co-writing, it's such a fun exercise, i'd love to do it more!

what's your all time favourite ship?

there are some i just come back to every time... it's tachigin. it's always gonna be tachigin. they're just so good. top tier. i should write for them more. i have like, 6 unfinished docs for 'em.

what's the wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

i have a spreadsheet of approximately 64 unfinished works. i do not think they are getting finished. i want them to, though. i think, off the top of my head, i'd most like to finish letters to the dead, which is my tachihara backstory fic :] it's in the guard dogs series, which apple of my eye (jouno backstory) is thrown in. hunting dogs backstories <3

what are your writing strengths?

tbh. i am in one of those growth ruts wherein i do not think i am competent at anything within the craft, though that certainly isn't true! i think i'm very good at character introspection and philosophy, maybe? (ironically. that's one of the things i most need to cut from my original wip because there's no room for PLOT)

what are your writing weaknesses?

white room syndrome... it's so bad. white room syndrome AND THEN i tend to write details inconsistency (oh you thought it was daytime in the summer? WRONG. it's dusk in the midst of winter), and i tend to put Too Much introspection between lines of dialogue.

thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

to take lena's stance. i too love seeing it, but fear writing it; english is my native language and i'm only learning beginner japanese, so... tho i think that with consultancy i could write it!

first fandom you wrote for?

on this account? my hero. on my old account? danger days <- bonus points if you Know What That Is. you'll know the origin of my name if you do! in notebooks my mother has since thrown out? young justice the TV show.

favourite fic you've ever written?

apple of my eye ! a close second has to be retribution for the dead, though it isn't finished yet.

tagging (no pressure) @soysaurus (promptly forgets any mutual i've ever had ever) @minusboy @xinesthetic and anyone else who wants to steal the tag !

[sturnioloszn]

EMOTIONAL BRUISES - C.S

↬ chapter 2

↬ dealer!chris × academic!reader

summary; getting to know more about Chris was fun and interesting until it wasn't...

warnings; don't think there's anything, lmk tho!

a/n; kinda of a long wait for this, sorryyy. But in return, it's kinda long? Forgive me, mwah! Also, once again, ik this isn't the most interesting thing ever but it's building upppp.

A light breeze picks up as I walk towards the front door of the address Matt had sent me. I wrap my woolly cardigan tighter around myself, crossing my arms over my chest as I continue walking to the door.

I consider texting Matt to let him know I'm outside, but instead, I swiftly place a few knocks on the door, refusing to waste more time. There was a beat of absolute silence before the door in front of me swung open.

I briefly greet the boy with a warm smile, patiently waiting to be invited inside, sheltered from the biting wind, but my expression falters when I'm left standing outside with a confused face staring back at me.

"You here to bring me a new shirt or somethin'?"

"Huh?" My mouth speaks before I have a chance to think. What is he talking about? New shirt?

"Well, you stained and ruined my other one with your stupid coffee, so I expect some sort of compensation," he snarkily replies, eyeing me down with a serious expression.

It takes me longer than it should have to realise that I was currently speaking to Chris. He wants compensation for his shirt? He must be joking.

"I'm not here to 'compensate' your two dollar shirt. I'm working on a project with Matt, and he invited me over," I clarify, watching his expression turn even more sour.

Before he could throw another snide remark my way, he's interrupted by a similar voice asking him what he was doing. Seconds pass before, who I'm sure is, Matt shows up behind Chris.

"Dude, what're you doing? Let her in," Matt speaks, shoving his brother out of the way and opening the door wider, allowing me to step inside.

I thank him for letting me in while glaring at Chris, but it's not long before he mutters something incoherent under his breath and makes his way to somewhere I can only assume to be his bedroom.

Matt leads me upstairs to their open floor kitchen, and we discuss the work we've completed and what we still have to do. We instantly get to work, and a comfortable silence hangs between us, which I'm more than happy with.

Unfortunately, it hadn't even been a few hours before Chris came to interrupt our hard work. He lazily strolled up the stairs, stopping on the last step, watching us from a distance.

"Matt, I'm hungry," he complains, but Matt completely ignores his presence. I, unlike Matt, had my attention on Chris the moment he made his presence known.

Chris notices the lack of response from his brother, "Matt, let's go eat," he says, boredline begging. Matt once again ignores him, but before Chris has a chance to repeat himself, for a third time, Matt stops him.

"Dude, I'm not driving you to get food. You have your licence now, go get food yourself. I'm obviously busy," he lashes out, finally lifting his head to look over at his brother. I'm slightly taken aback because I've only ever heard Matt speak sweetly, but I guess when you're related to someone like Chris, it could be hard to always be nice.

"It's not about you driving me, fuck face. I just hate going alone," Chris explains while dramatically rolling his eyes.

After coming to terms with the fact that Matt wouldn't drive him, he turned to me. He walks over to the table and eyes me and my work down.

"So you gonna come?"

I ponder at the question for a moment.

A few hours ago, he was harassing me to buy him a new shirt because I accidently 'ruined' his other one and now he wants me to go get food with him. What a bipolar guy.

I was about to decline his offer until my own thoughts were cut off by the sound of my stomach growling. I hadn't eaten anything at all today, deciding that a coffee would be enough breakfast to last me the day, but clearly, I was wrong.

Was I seriously considering going with him?

"I'm kinda busy with this," I say, trying to sound as apologetic as possible. He narrows his eyes slightly as if he caught me red-handed in my lie. I mean... I am busy, but it also wouldn't be the end of the world if I went to grab some food with him and came back to do more work.

"I'm paying," he replies as if that was self-explanatory. God, he's so strange. One minute I owe him something, and the next he's offering to buy me food.

At this point, Matt is also looking at me, waiting to see what I'm going to answer his brother. He sighs before breaking the tense noise of nothing.

"If you're hungry, just go get food with him," he says, forcing a small smile out at the end of that sentence.

"But we're working on this," I reply, feeling incredibly guilty if I were to leave him alone with all the work.

"Don't worry about it. We have loads of time to finish this, go get some food. Just make sure you bring me back a root beer," he says, a smile prominent on his face as he watches my own face light up.

Chris and I walked out to their garage where a familiar black SUV stood stationary. I made my way to the car and was about to open the back door to take my seat.

"Why are you sitting there? Sit up front," Chris commands. I don't even have an option? Whatever.

I swiftly move to the front and get comfortable in the passenger seat. After a minor discussion, we agreed to just go to whichever fast food place was the closest.

That was about fifteen minutes ago. I don't know where the hell he's driving to, but it definitely isn't the closest place, considering I've counted three McDonalds on our drive so far.

"Where are we going?" I question, finally having the will to speak up. He doesn't bother wasting his energy to look over at me, likely feeling my eyes already burning into the side of his head.

"I don't know," he shrugs casually.

"What? How do you not know where we're going? You're driving,"

"Really? I thought I passed the wheel over to the easter bunny," he remarks, clearly not impressed with my mention of the apparent fact.

My eyes roll to the back of my head, already unamused by his antics. I feel his gaze temporarily shift to me, my peripheral vision capturing him glancing over my facial features and letting a subtle smirk fall on his lips.

"What?"

"Nothing.... just looking," he speaks.

"At my face?"

"You always gotta state the obvious?" He says, shifting his focus back onto the road.

"Nooo.... but you're just being weird," I laugh, now really pointing out the obvious.

The rest of the ride endured roughly another half an hour, which we spent obnoxiously going back and forth, but it made my heart feel light, especially after the hours of studying I had just accomplished.

Through our 'humorous' conversation, I found out more about his other brother, Nick. Turns out he's the oldest, and Chris is actually the youngest. I also found out that him and Matt used to play hockey and lacrosse.

As we pull up to a Cane's drive-through, Chris asks what I want. He puts the order through and pulls up to the next window to pay.

He lifts his waist up from the seat and reaches a hand into his pocket, pulling out a small, rubber-banded roll of money. I watch as he rips the band off and unfolds the cash, quickly swiping through the larger bills. He eventually pulls a twenty out and waits for the cashier to ask for the payment.

Why would he carry a roll of money like that? Does he not have a wallet? I think about it for a moment. Why would he have hundreds on him but not be able to afford a wallet? Maybe he just preferred carrying the cash itself? Whatever the reason was, I didn't care too much, I was getting free food.

I push all questions aside the moment they hand Chris the food. He swiftly pushes the bag containing the goods onto my lap and pulls out of the drive-through and into a nearby parking space.

"Thank you, Chris," I say with genuine thankfulness, flashing him a small smile. I began pulling out the food, but it seemed as though he lost all interest in it but rather was hooked on something else.

"I don't remember the formal introduction," he says, casting his gaze away from me and falling onto the food; he reaches his hand into the bag, resting on the top of my thighs, and grabs his order.

"There wasn't one, I just found your name out,"

"Oh, like a stalker?" He jokes, letting a playful smirk settle on his pink lips. I roll my eyes and shake my head at his stupid remark.

"Exactly like a stalker," I say, continuing his little joke. For the next hour, we sit in the parking lot, eating and talking about anything we can think of; our family, where we grew up, what we do now. He was skeptical of our conversation at first, but as time passed, it was clear that he was equally as invested.

He also mentioned he had his own business, so that was interesting, I guess. Before I could question what he did, I had an incoming call flashing on my phone.

I mumble a quiet 'sorry' for the interruption before picking up. Matt was wondering what was taking so long and questioned whether Chris had kidnapped me and was holding me hostage.

I laugh at his stupid joke and fill him in on the past two hours. He then asks if I'm planning to come back and do more work.

"To be honest.... I'm kinda tired. I was thinking of just asking Chris to drop me straight home, and we could continue the work later this week?" I ask, a sense of guilt crawling to the front of my mind.

"Of course, don't worry. Let me know when you reach home, Amara," He says without a hint of anger in his voice.

I smiled and thanked him before hanging up the phone, but when I turned back to Chris, it seemed as though all of the energy that was just previously there had completely evaporated.

"Are you okay..?"

"I'm great. What's your address." He spits, buckling his belt and lunging the car into drive. What crawled up his ass while I was on call with Matt?

"Are you deaf? Where do you live?" He speaks, his voice growing more annoyed by the second.

Trying to de-escalate this random tantrum of his I simply give him my address, and he starts making his way there right away.

The entire ride was silent. Not even music could have saved the animosity that hung heavily in the atmosphere.

He eventually pulls up to the front of my house; before I open the car door, I try asking if he's okay again, but I'm wasting my breath as I'm greeted with nothing but the painful silence which I had become accustomed to at this stage.

I sigh at his lack of response and just mutter a thank you before exiting the car and walking up my front porch steps. He doesn't bother waiting to see if I make it inside safely before speeding off.

-

I lay with my back flushed against my mattress, pondering about what the hell happened for him to switch so dramatically like that. The only plausible explanation I can think of is that he has undiagnosed bipolar disorder, and even that was unrealistic.

The thought sits on my head for the rest of the evening. While I shower, while I eat, and even as I'm trying to sleep, it's all I can think about.

He's all I can think about.

a/n; this was also collecting dust for a few days in my drafts because i was celebrating my bdayyyy so i was preoccupied w that. but i'm gonna get back into routine, i promiseeee. anywayy, thank u for readinggg, love you so much <3.

Taglist; @idrk2292 @045696 @sturns-mermaid @mattsturniolover @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut @chrissturniolodailysluts @sturnobsessedwh0re

[deathbxnny]

Angsty Yanqing time?

Angsty Yanqing time.

Imagine if he had a dragon/Vidyadhara!S/O. Assuming they’re like normal reptiles, that means Vidyadhara are also cold blooded. And reptiles don’t survive very well in the cold.

In a desperate moment in a fight, he accidentally gets too close to killing them because he can use Ice. He’d feel guilty and never let them be around him while he fights. But they are stubborn in the idea that he isn’t at fault for anything.

-----♡

A/N: I'm sorry it took eons to get to your request. Life hates me. I hope you'll like it anyways tho and thank you for making it!<33

Content: Angst, hurt/comfort, Reader has reptile like characteristics, mentions of battle, slight injury, mentions near death, Yanqing will get his vengeance one day

Reader has no set pronouns!

((Not fully proofread))

-----♡

Yanqing tried to be careful around you with his ice abilities, as he knew how sensitive you were to the cold. And the last thing he ever wanted, was to hurt you. So when push came to shove and he was finally truly forced to use his abilities with you also in the way, it was hard for him to forgive himself for it, even when it was you who asked him to just do it. He had no other choice and the enemy was quickly defeated after, but the guilt still remained.

Especially when it ended you in the hospital for a couple weeks, due to the cold nearly killing you. It felt like his own heart was being ripped out and that made him in turn punish himself. He barely ate or slept, his eyes always stuck on your unmoving form, your hand firmly in his. He didn't care who tried to came in to tell him to take it easy, that you'd be okay eventually. He didn't believe it, until he saw it with his own eyes. Until then, he won't dare rest.

And to say that he broke down, when you did eventually wake up, would be an understatement. He burst into tears, his tired eyes burning even more, as his apologies came out in an incoherent and panicked mess of words. He was just so happy that you were okay and despite your reassurance, he still felt horrible and guilty about it.

He subconsciously began never using his abilities around you again, always scared to even touch you after a battle, in case his hands were still cold. Your reassurance is the only thing that makes him eventually let his guard down just a little bit, but ultimately, the fear will remain forever.

-----♡

A/N: I hope this is fine and I'm again sorry for the lack of literally existing lately...

[sabotsen]

Hi there! First of all, your perception of Roland is absolutely impeccable. I don't generally read fics as they tend to spoil/contradict my image of a char, but your Roland? Pure canon. In a single paragraph you are able to convey such complex images, wow. I even find myself with same longing described in a text, and it lingers. Also your signature tripple "burn"s. At this point I can recognize your work without captions. Hope you are having a good feedback! I also did not find any request closed/open status or rules so please forgive me if you don't do requests.

With that, may I take the liberty and ask for a Roland fic where we hug him? Because Re-reading Knight's longing for 3rd time and ugggh I just wanna squish him with a hug. I also thought the idea of "if you need anything — ask for it" "but no everything has to be 95 steps long and complex" is fun, but what if he does actually ask for something, and we give it to him, and it works, and he's shoked? Kinda?? Since he usually doesn't speak plain and honest, and things usually dont actually go his way. But hey he did this time and that single shot got through! It's a little bit like teaching a child to say "pass the salt please", except it's a grown man and we try to tell him not everything has to be attained through suffering and hinting, he can just ask. Or, on a different note, maybe he does not actually say it out loud but we still guess, since after so much time we know him well enough? Regardless of whatever he builds of himself, he still has some patterns he follows unknowingly in any of his instances, and those could be learned and read. I just wanted for Roland to be comforted a lil'. ;< maybe not a lil'. Maybe actually very much.

Even if this req is not to your liking, I still wish you the best with your art, thank you for your hard work! Bye have a great time 👋

I’ve had to walk laps around the room several times before I could even fathom a response to this message so forgive me if I’m incoherent in spots.

But firstly — thank you??? ( ; - ;) this is such a kind message I’m honestly really fucking humbled and at a loss for words, especially for speaking so kindly of my interpretation of him. ;;;; thank you truly for taking the time to send this, it means a lot to me. ( & I can’t help the burns repetition with him lol, the irony when your in game element is fire but you’ve long since forgotten the warmth of human kindness and contact so even the gentlest of brushes feels like scorching heat. The man is a clown)

I’ve never actually gotten a request before lol so you’re the first, hun. I’m open to ‘em, especially since they can be a way to talk to people about different hc and interpretations; I find it really fun. And I really like the view of him I see in your message. Roland blue screening is always a highlight to me tbh

it’s actually a bit ironic Knight’s Longing is the one you’re most fond of. The second part is in the works, told from Chrome’s POV about your closeness with Roland, and there is a short scene that plays off Roland’s affection line where you fall asleep against him. It’s mostly a fun experiment bc they’re just such fascinating foils. (There’s also a nutcracker inspired fic with Roland that has been in the works for a shamefully long time….)

But yes! You’re welcome to suggest ideas hun! And yours actually gave me a brain worm so consider that wip added to the fic list. I just… I either churn out 3 fics in a month or 1 fic every three months — there is no inbetween I’m so sorry….

I did draft a few lines tho based off the images I got from your message tho, so I don’t forget the emotion I want to go for (the despair of waiting for the other shoe to drop bc he can’t trust your kindness as something that isn’t attached to strings or the guillotine). I can’t promise it’ll make it to the final draft but here’s a little snip for now if that’s ok?? I gotta chew on how I want to shape the scene but I’ll toss the snip beneath a read more break. please know I’m tucking four leaf clovers in your pocket in hopes you have nothing but wonder days ahead!! ♥︎ thank you again for taking the time to talk to me ♡

[...]

It's the weightlessness – the moment of bated breath when the stage crumbles beneath his feet and the scaffolding overhead groans as it collapses. It's the loaded silence – the millisecond between the trigger pull and the expected result in roulette. It is the corpse of every script, every scene, every line that always, always, always ends with the flourish of the guillotine. 

He feels it, scorching and molten – the seeping, slow spread of warmth like molten glass. There's a sharpness to it, biting in the way it cuts through the cold metal of him until it sinks into his wires. It burns. It burns. It burns.

The weight of your arm around his shoulder, your foolish flesh and bone hand on the small of his back, the faint brush of your breath against his temple – you're close, too close and it burns. He feels the subtle rise of your chest with each slow breath, and it's the casual defenselessness of it all that turns the heat into something boiling. It churns with all the jagged, rusted blades that have burrowed into tender places he thought lost beneath the metal. You're completely open and every single vital point flashes through his mind in an instant. How easy would it be to press a little here or cut deep enough there to bring you to your knees in blooming crimson glory? 

His hands move – too late and too early all at once – and you don't even flinch when the cold metal of his fingers wraps around the back of your neck.

[yeo-rims]

thoughts on 2521, mostly incoherent ones. yurim knows she's been treating heedo badly, but it takes realizing heedo is her closest friend to see how much damage she caused, and heedo knowing yurim is also! her closest friend can't do anything but forgive her. that's how much they care for each other, asking for more is simply not seeing what's right in front of us. I still am curious to see how their friendship will impact their fencing, but I'm so glad they're finally on good terms, and that heedo (involuntarily) taught yurim a lesson on learning to accept one's feelings. that scene with her mom is literally one of the best things in the drama (heedo and yurim's mom too). heedo's mom is probably my favorite person and favorite mom and their relationship is way more turbulent than mine and my mom's, but in a way, I relate so much to their stubbornness, especially how the way heedo's mom chooses to show she cares. she protects heedo, even if heedo can't see that, how much it must hurt her to not be able to do it all. i just like that she is allowed to be complicated and sometimes mean, but always very much human. now the most conflicted part about this whole show must be heedo and yijin, but at the same time... it is so easy to see how important they are to each other, how much they helped each other throughout some rough paths, yijin realizing he did those things because it was heedo, but instead of being all romantic about it, he reflected on how doing that for heedo was the right thing to do (even for the wrong reasons) but showed him he must be like that for everyone else. just... he learnt more than just understanding he is in love with her, and he is constantly learning so much, his journey is just so good. the way I cried during the scene with his brother... heedo is just, honestly, a ray of sunshine. but she has her boundaries, and she hates to be treated like she is dumb, and the fact that in the present she is pretty much the same bubbly person warms my heart. us, bubbly hoes deserve that rep. not only that, but she had to grow so fast after her father died, she lost the person that was her biggest supporter, she no longer was a fencing prodigy, she was more like a burden, but still, she tried. those "kid" things she likes so much, were the things that gave her the comfort no one else around her could. still, she found a way to make a comedy out of her tragedy. and heedo and yijin, god, I don't even know if I can be coherent about it. sometimes it reminds me of how for the longest time I had only 1 true friend (who's 3 years older than me) and how weird it was that she was at uni when I was entering high school, because most of our talks were about books, and series and boys and sometimes, much like the show, I would realize "oh, we're in very different places" not always in a bad way, sometimes as heedo said, it was just jealousy. sometimes it was something i was looking forward to experiencing, too. of course, neither of us were secretly in love with each other, tho we've been friends for over 12 years now if you can believe that. so I am aware of things that aren't, well, ideal. but also, the show does such a confident job in portraying the emotions they want to portray that it actually feels difficult to not understand the characters' motivations. I understand why heedo is hesitant, why she doesn't quite understand the nature of their relationship and why that makes her uncomfortable, insecure, impulsive. and it's so clear that yijin is aware of it all, but being older makes him confident (all the looks, the jokes, the way he smiles), and, at the same time, also hesitant. his motives are different tho, because he understands too well the nature of their relationship he doesn't ask for anything. which, yeah, bare minimum. but that's why I'm surprised he told her he loves her, tho it feels like he won't demand anything later on, how will that affect heedo... Like I said previously today, the weight of his love can be a lot (or not), and I'm curious to see where the story is going.

[milkbreadtoast]

! ur art introduced me to herb/werewolf and its sooo sweet and cute ! ^^ i dont play the games that much but i love the little cookies sm still. . . theres something so hopeful abt that ship !! do u have thoughts, what things they could learn from the other? :3

!!!!!WAAA YAY thank you Im so happy to hear that omg🥺🥺🥺💓... hopeful..!! that's a nice way to put it... herbwolf feels healing🥲... as for what they could learn... I've been trying to think abt how to answer ur ask which is why im answering rly late but it's a hard question KFJKSJ... i'm just gonna ramble and hope that's enough mdbfvdn (also tumblr deleted half my reply and i had to rewrite it💀 srry if this is rly repetitive and incoherent im tired)

i think werewolf is someone who's scared of loving and being loved... in the past when he tried to protect someone he cared deeply about, it went so wrong and he lost everything... (its funny how devsis just never revealed who his friend was 💀kshdjd) He's been hurting so much from being cast out and hated and feared, and it still hurts him every time cookies misunderstand him... But he also knows that he poses a real danger to others; it's implied he's hurt cookies before when transformed, and he doesnt want that to happen at all costs. So he's scared of getting close to others...he tells himself he's better off alone, not only to protect others but to protect his own heart... and he hates and fears the dangerous side of himself he can't control, the "monster", and thus sees himself as unlovable... (But at the same time, he has sm love to give and wants deeply to be loved!!😢)

I think werewolf would fall rly hard for herb, but have mixed feelings abt dating him... Of course he's really really happy, but he's also scared... and that thing of feeling sad even tho you're rly happy? bc u feel like u dont deserve it/like this feeling isnt meant to last... But I think more than anything else, he'd be scared of hurting/endangering someone he loves... he'd never forgive himself if smth happened to herb... so if herb loves him back, he's beyond happy, but he's like is this really ok if i have a chance of hurting him...

I would want werewolf to learn from herb's mindset that it's okay to live in the moment and cherish the small things in life that make you smile and laugh or cry... I think herb would tell him that its okay to cry and feel sad, but also that it's okay to let himself feel happy too?? That he wants to cherish every moment with him, and he wants him to do the same🤧 And that he's not afraid of being hurt... bc being hurt is natural and we all hurt others without meaning to, but what matters is what we do after,, and make it abt plants bc hes plant maniac smfhjd smth like how the sun comes after the rain and new sprouts grow, and smth smth trees become stronger and new life grows after being burned in forest fires IDK u get the picture🥲 BUT YEA!! herb thinks small everyday moments are precious and meant to be cherished, and he wouldn't want werewolf to be afraid and dwell on the possibility of hurting him/being hurt and not let himself feel happy and live in the moment, or think he doesnt deserve to be happy... Even small fleeting happinesses are precious, like rays of sunshine, or flowers that only bloom at night, and rather than focusing on their impermanence or letting them slip u by, let urself soak in their warmth and believe that life is full of these moments, just as the sun is sure to shine again after the rain (im just spouting bullshit now snfksfo&3);£|>~) ...and that it's ok to let himself love and he deserves to be loved!! and that it's okay to admit that ur sad and lonely, and its ok to need other cookies... 🤧

As for what herb could learn from werewolf... im sure there a lot of things but my brain is kinda fried after that incoherent wall of text 🤪 so going off topic but one thing i do like abt 🌱�� dynamic tho is i think it lets 🌱 get to be more bold and take more initiative?? bc herb is an introvert type but 🐺 is like... has 0 dating experience and wouldnt ever like try to flirt intentionally or advance a romantic relationship... like i think he's the type to do caring and romantic things without realizing/without the intention of being romantic and wouldnt consciously try to get closer... so i think in the early stages 🌱 would be the one to like. make moves... invite him to drink tea as thanks for helping him out or go for a walk together n stuff... i just think herb would have the opportunity to be a bit more active in advancing their relationship dmgnnd (itd def be a slow burn w them tho🤧) And I feel like herb as a partner to werewolf rly brings out herb's strengths... like his outlook on life and his capacity to soothe and heal... i like to see it 🤧

Also semi related but i hc herb as a little older than werewolf.. just by a yr or 2 at most 🥺 it doesnt make a big diff but it's so cute to me... werewolf being the bigger/taller/more muscular one but being (a bit) younger☺️☺️ also i like how its kind of reversed from other dynamics (eg sparkling/herb... sparkling def feels older than herb to me🤧 which is fine ofc but!! herb being the older one in 🐺🌱 is so cute🥺🥰) Also unrelated but... the way herbwolf is literally sun/moon symbolism...... (and both their super epic skins have matching full moon theme... if devsis is going to throw these scraps at me i have no choice but to eat them!😔🤲)

[blankerthought]

Lo I can't watch mcc right now can you tell me anything that happened please

uh meltdown was kinda quick, a lot of ppl liked it tho, i was watching red but george was cracked at shooting; parkour tag had them being their usual cracked selves (you know me- dream simp), rocket spleef had sam popping off, hole in the wall started off with yet another uncomfortable piss moment where every dream stan either avoided or loudly announced the elephant in the room, and ace race i watched wilbur have a lovely wedding with ace race until it turned out he cheaated on ace race (while she was PREGNANT!) with SOT

the whole thing also had so many quiet moments filled with uncomfortable silence and DNF

red is doing p well rn tho!

forgive my incoherence that's all i got alksdlas

[skiyoosmi]

when the first snow falls | 01

💌 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐠𝐚'𝐬 𝟐𝐤 𝐟𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥

𝐬𝐲𝐩𝐧𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐬. it took him four months to fall in love with you, four years to marry you and four seconds to realize that he has fallen out of love from you— so he asks for a divorce and you have no choice but to agree... on one condition: to give you four weeks more of his "love."

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠. akaashi keiji x fem!kuroo!reader

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞. angst, fluff, college!au, friends-to-lovers!au, domestic!au

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬. swearing (when will swearing be gone from my warnings tho), akaashi is a kind of an apathetic jerk in the end, mentions of divorce— if there is anything else i failed to mention, please let me know!

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬. please forgive my impulsiveness to write this and think of this little work as me celebrating because i hit 2k followers!!! 🥳💗 you're all so good to me and i can never thank you all enough ✨ ALL THE LOVEEEE!

It was spring when you first met him. It’s almost funny how you could remember every single detail of it as clear as the day but when you think about it once more, it’s also endearing and heart fluttering – you swore you saw sparks flying around the two of you the moment you touched his hand followed by the way your gaze shied away from him with flushing cheeks, as if you were first year high schools who confessed your little crush to him.

It was cliché, to be honest; the realization of falling in love at first sight for him dawning upon you as you watch him smile apologetically for bumping into you then him turning around and walking to god-knows-where with his odd companion. But then it felt metaphoric at the same time, euphoric even;

APRIL 2019, SPRING: FIRST YEAR

UNIVERSITY OF TOKYO, JAPAN

 “Excuse me… uhm… passing through… sorry!” a guilty voice resonated throughout the narrow hallways of the English department. Groans and yelps of annoyance followed the redundant statements, some even replying with ‘watch where you’re going!’ to which the voice replied with another apology. Your figure moved hastily among the crowd as you tried to get to your agenda as fast as you can. You almost cursed aloud, wondering why the hell are there so many students lounging around that freaking area?! Nonetheless, you opted to keeping your mouth shut and kept walking and shoving instead while of course, uttering what you felt like hundreds of apologies.

Your eyes soon lit up upon finding the exit of the hallway, the arch leading to an open area finally providing the light you were dramatically seeking for. As if your energy got boosted by the said brightness, you moved even faster, making other students look at you quizzically since you were practically yelling out your sorry’s a bit too happily.

A breath of fresh air welcomed you as soon as you got out of the hellhole and began skipping your way to your destination… or not because as soon as you began skipping, a much larger figure bumped right into you. Holy shit, can this day get any worse?! you internally screamed and closed your eyes, preparing yourself… or your butt, rather… for the impact to come; however, the only thing you felt was a hand wrapping itself around your wrist and tugging you, making you stumble into the stranger’s arms. Opening your eyes slowly, you found yourself face-to-face with the most handsome man you had ever laid your eyes on.

“Uhm… uhh… t-thank you?” you stuttered, comically blinking your eyes quickly as you were trying to see if he was real because goddamn, he’s so beautiful. He scanned your overall, probably checking to see if you were alright before glaring at the two-tone haired lad behind you who only grinned at him sheepishly.

“You’re welcome, Kuroo-san. I apologize for the inconvenience Bokuto… my friend has brought you,” he gestured to Bokuto who bowed to you, eyes sparkling when she told him that it was fine. As if his statement only registered to you now, your head whipped towards the unknown man who tilted his head curiously at your actions.

“Wait… you know me? Am I supposed to know you two?” he only smiled and shook his head, making your wonder grow even more. How does this beautiful man know me?

“A lot of people know you more than you think, Kuroo-san. It’s not just your brother who is popular in terms of beauty and brains, you know? Anyways, we will be going now,” he bowed his head and began pulling Bokuto who was caught by surprise and began uttering incoherent words, leaving you as you processed his words and began blushing. Did this man just tell me I’m pretty and smart too?

“Wait!” you yelled after him, cheeks reddening even more when he turned around and smiled, “what���s your name?”

And as the pink petals of the cherry blossoms rained over the two of you, your love for Akaashi Keiji bloomed.

NOVEMBER 2024, WINTER

AKAASHI HOUSEHOLD, TOKYO

How did it get to this?

You kept on asking yourself as you sat right across your husband, the person who you thought would love you until the last breath he takes… well, at least that was what he vowed on your wedding day. But here you were, tears rushing down your cheeks like a waterfall as he pushed the brown envelope lying on the table towards you. No words escaped from him but you knew what it was. For some reason, a part of you already expected this to come. But that didn’t mean you were happy about it; if you were, you would’ve been laughing but no, you were sobbing and hiccupping as you watched him mercilessly crush your heart.

“Why?”  a broken whisper went out of your mouth as you gripped your skirt, so tight that your knuckles were becoming white already. He sighed and leaned back, watching you with eyes that had pity and guilt swimming in them. It stung because you can clearly remember the love that once resided in them, now gone and nowhere to be found.

“You know it’ll hurt you even more if I answer that,” he answered, eyes going downwards when you scoffed at his pathetic attempt of an excuse.

“Hypocrite,” you spat, “if you didn’t want to hurt me, you wouldn’t do this. You wouldn’t waste so many years with me then just leave me when you feel like it. You could’ve told me you’ll divorce me eventually so I wouldn’t have to fucking marry you, asshole.” You got up from your seat and began making your way upstairs and to the bedroom before his next words halted you from walking temporarily.

“You can take your time to think about it carefully. But even if you don’t agree to the divorce, that won’t stop me from leaving this house so I personally think it’s better if you free yourself from any connection with me……… Kuroo-san,” he said, not even flinching a bit when you glared back at him, “Damn you, Keiji.”

You stomped over to your bedroom and slammed the door, shoving your back against it before finally letting it all out, no longer caring if he heard your heartbroken wails and cries as you slid down the door.

As if the cherry blossoms tree that symbolized your story had met its death, on winter, Akaashi Keiji’s love for you has withered.

[humangerbil]

i think that bakugou has a lot of potential for a redemption arc (hear me out, this is going to be anti-bakugou) but the way the manga is handeling it is so shitty like- he's started caring more about izuku but he's still a dick and izuku still acts as if he's scared of him. fucking punish bakugou already. wether directly by izuku or narratively. make him work for his redemption instead of it being handed to him on a sliver platter without doing anything. let his friends be shocked and question wether they still want to be friends with him or not. make izuku stand up for himself. let the boy realize that he doesn't owe bakugou shit!! izuku has some serious issues with self image which aren't being addressed properly. let izuku and bakugou have a serious talk. that is the bare fucking minimum i expect though it's not even satisfying. i get it that it's a shounen and fights are important, but this manga has really good characters and development as well!!! i just hate the way it treats bullying and abuse. my issues with endeavour and shouto's relationship are similar. abusive characters in bnha just need to be like "maybe i did something wrong i want my victim to not hate me anymore" and then do the bare minimum and BOOM REDEMPTION AND FORGIVENESS!!! BUT THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS!!! endeavour is an adult and a fucking bitch he can die but bakugou is a teenager and influenced by his environment. he can change!! and he is changing, but it's being handled so badly that i can't help but dislike him. which is sad because he could've been a character i would've grown to like. i really hope this will be fixed in later chapters but seeing the manga might end soon (tho i'm not sure how true that actually is) i doubt it. so for now: if the story won't punch bakugou i will.

i hope this isn't too incoherent to follow! i'm just frustrated. if you include bullying in your story as a character backstory, be sure to actually treat it with the severity it deserves

I more or less agree with you anon. I very much think Bakugou could be a product of his environment. He seemed appropriately setup for a great character arc. Ashita no Joe was in Shonen Jump and that is the anime/manga that is all about character development. Joe starts off as a right ass.

I don’t know if Hirokoshi actually intended for Bakugou to get as stuck as he is or if this is a product of the manga industry. I will argue over and over again that a lot of the issues in BnHA, and shounen series in general, is caused by the manga industry functioning the way it does. Momo’s costume? I blame Jump for that, proto!Momo had a reasonable costume. Mineta? Jump’s fault.

Bakugou? I don’t know. He I think has turned out to be more popular than intended so punishing him is harder because it could alienate a large part of the pro-Bakugou audience. And keeping your audience happy is the number one most important thing to do when a Jump mangaka! Otherwise you might find yourself canceled with ~5 chapters to wrap up you entire story.

It could also be that Hirokoshi has gotten too wrapped up in his story telling method. The whole parallels with Endeavor sounds good from a literary standpoint but as we have seen, it isn’t really working. This could have worked if the series wasn’t, well shounen. The action needs to be kept up and characters are suppose to grow faster because they are put in literal life or death situations. If anything should make you evaluate yourself it would be almost dying several times over.

I do have some very tiny small part of me that hopes he might get some real actual development now. He witnessed, once again, more Todoroki family drama. He has now seen the worse case scenario for where his actions will lead and nothing Endeavor has done since he “changed” could have stopped that. All his actions had damning consequences and maybe, just maybe this idiot will learn that he needs to be a better person to avoid that. He cannot just “atone” when he wants to, he needs to actively be a better person. But well, I expect I will only get this in fic form and not canon.

I still am angry about Vol 29s cover which has more actual character development than we see in the entire volume. I also don’t think it is an accurate representation of where Bakugou is. Bakugou accepting Izuku’s help willingly? Fuck no! Current Bakugou still wouldn’t take his hand for something like that. He might now be willing to actually save people instead of just fight villains but I don’t think he would accept help willingly.

As for the manga ending Hirokoshi said "I think perhaps the manga will be heading towards its conclusion soon, but I'll make sure you can enjoy it until then!" (Source) So who knows what that really means. I expect it will “end” and have a sequel after a largest-ish time skip but that is just a guess. I really have no idea.

[mego42]

Shamelessly stealing @foxmagpie​’s monthly rec thing without the ability to get my life together to do these on a monthly basis so, seasonal recs! So excited to see if I manage to do this again with anything remotely resembling consistency but i’ve been keeping the notes for approximately 43 years (or since ~september, whatever that means) so by god i’m gonna use them. 

found my thrill - s_t_c_s / @sothischickshe​

Turner POV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

guys turner is SO OBSESSED with Beth and Rio

both canonically and in this fic

it’s gr9

also features a weirdly soothing and relatable cord untangling moment as a metaphor

truly disturbingly relatable turner pov tbh

relentless boomer disdain, always a plus

led to the creation of this monstrosity, not sure what kind of a monster would do that

War In My Mind - mintletters16

Backread!!!!

post-213, gorgeous character study 

guaranteed to make you feEl stUfF

I really love the like, cyclical, fractured pattern of Beth’s internal monologue, it gives the whole thing a really affecting at times dreamy, at times haunted vibe

the end twist is *chef’s kiss*

mourning bells - Ejunkiet / @ejunkiet​

Backread!!!!

Later s2 era, Rio’s at a funeral, gets drunk and calls Beth

V short, kind of…..mmm, not sweet, but almost? Idk

It’s got a wistful sort of almost/i can be quiet with you vibe that i go extremely bonkers for

delinquents - foxmagpie / @foxmagpie​

Lol are any of you actually not reading this yet?

g o d ch 8 where do i start

First off how ABSOLUTELY VERY DARE for the tragic angst that is delinquents!beth boland. This poor baby, this precious bean. MUST PROTEC

SHE’S TRYING HER BEST AND I LOVE HER

zero percent deserves dean’s clammy hands, no i have not forgotten, tattooed on my brain, will never forgive

I also love love love love LOVE the ruby/stan subplot happening

(and ruby’s mom!!!!!) (seriously though you write the best moms)

oh god and baby beth starting to have confusing feelings about rio?????? *chef’s kiss*

p sure i was just like, straight screaming the entire end of the chapter

the dugout is like, pure serotonin

I can’t even talk about the closet

tHe teNsiOn

thank you i will take eleventy billion

don't give it a hand, offer it a soul - medievalraven / @medievalraven

am a desperate heaux for any fic that features rio and mick friendship

you are all incredibly shocked i know

still would not be mad if this swerved into rio x mick fake dating but beth x rio is cool too i guess

Speaking of things i am a desperate heaux for: DIANE!!!!!!!!

and DATING ANNIE???????????? Blessed

honestly this fic is worth it purely for the assertion that mick watches queer eye

Why don't we go to Venus? - watermelonriddles / @bensonstablers​

another grief study! 

apparently i was working through some stuff in september, idk, that was like 4 years ago

considering it’s the premise of the fic, i don’t think it’s a spoiler to say this fic is canon divergent and working with the premise that rio killed beth in 302

he is uh, not coping well

extremely haunted you might say

lots of marcus and rhea which is a delight!

rhea is to good for him tbh

i said what i said

truly top notch dream (nightmare?) sequences

the conversation at the end is extremely uncalled for

drop the game - Ejunkiet / @ejunkiet​

Backread!!!!

Am going to die mad Beth and Rio didn’t hook up in 211 but luckily this fic scratched the itch 

(temporarily, it’s a fairly permanent itch)

Bonus rec: missing scene series i wanna do bad things to you featuring 2x02 and 2x04

Viva Voce - zetuslapetus / @querenaxx​

Whoops we woke up married Vegas shenanigans!! 

So cute!!!!! So sexy!!!!! 

What more do you want?

am desperately obsessed with how beth can’t help stalking rio

feels right, feels organic

this makes me feel a lot of stuff about how they could be without their canon garbage between them

🎶 we could’ve had it aaaaaaaaaaall 🎶

you showed me colors (i can't see them with anyone else) - gild_fire / @gild-and-fire​

really into the use of color to illustrate beth’s emotional state, i feel like there’s a word for that but idk what it is

UNIMPORTANT

really nice job capturing beth’s inner vulnerability balanced by her outer stubbornness

am DESPERATELY into Mick playing matchmaker

more please???????

Both Sides of the Law - JoeyLee / @joeyjoeylee​

LAW SCHOOL AU! I suuuuuuper love Beth and Rio here (alt pov!! a gift!!!!) I love how initially prickly they are, I love how it’s evolving into a grudging respect, I love how INCREDIBLY AND HILARIOUSLY OBSESSED WITH EACH OTHER THEY ARE and neither one of them seems to see it

listen I know we’re all already foaming at the mouth over this one but as it’s gonna go down as one of my all time favorites it bears repeating/rereccing

cannot stress enough how masterful the use of POV is here, both voices feel completely true and distinct and I love how the alternating chapters revisit, reveal and emphasize pieces of each other

i can’t talk about this fic without hyperventilating

I LOVE IT SO MUCH YOU GUYS

the slow burn is going to ACTUALLY KILL ME

rip, no regrats

Earned It - wakeupflawless / @wakeupflawless​

spanking

that’s it that’s the pitch

H O T

living for beth’s exit in the first chapter, rio and i are both incredibly into it

second chapter also features violently possessive Rio who cannot deal with anyone messing with his girl so if that’s your thing boy howdy get on it

shake, baby, shake - openhearts

backread!!!!!

according to my bookmarks this was a reread but ???????

must’ve read it in the fugue state that followed reading for a moment we were strangers which is gr9 and I believe I have recced it before. If not, horrible oversight, reccing it now

beth and Rio POV lead up to the bathroom break, beautifully done, low-key feel bad reccing it bc the end point of both chapters makes me want to throw things but it’s super worth it for the tEnsiOn. ENJOY

What the Sea Wants, the Sea Will Have - flashindie / @pynkhues​

I’m assuming all of y’all are already reading this

If not OH MY GOD FIX YOUR LIVES

P I R A T E  A U

I’m sorry maybe you didn’t hear me piRaTE aU

meticulously researched, brain-meltingly vibrant, already painfully sexy slow-burning PIRATE AU

god where to start okay so first off, the world-building here straight up breaks my brain, sophie’s put in the work and it SHOWS

second, the atmosphere. i’m generally a pretty like, vague mental picture sort of reader but the sensory detail here grabs you by the throat and like, forcibly hauls you in whether your brain’s wired that way or no

and hey speaking of throats if you, like me, go a little funny about the knees at the idea of beth holding a knife to rio’s throat (he’s fine, calm down), there’s a v excellent beth-in-a-barrel moment for you

oh christ and the sexy tension

it’s gonna be a race to see which slow burn takes me out first, this or law school

Stunner - foxmagpie / @foxmagpie​

Another high school AU, this time with baby Rio absolutely head over heels for his older sister’s bff

stunner!Rio has an emotional earnestness about him that I feel like delinquents!Rio has already outgrown and it’s so SWEET I can’t get enough

Desperately cute!!!!!!

alL he waNts iS foR beTh tO bE hiS girL

also unreasonably angsty???????

ANN ARBOR IS NOT THAT FAR MEGAN

A Heart's A Heavy Burden - tooshyforthis / @bathroombreaks​

Howl’s Moving Castle AU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love Howl’s!!!!!!!!!!!

perfect opp to roast Rio for being a Dramatique Heaux 

and it’s gonna be 9 chapters?????? H Y P E

author’s note boldly presumes I did not know I needed this AU when the reality is I did in fact know I needed this AU, I just wasn’t expecting anyone to deliver

so blessed

author also claims to not be team nose stud and yet it features prominently in all its magnificent glory

what is the truth dot gif

A Bit of a Stretch - septiembre / @septiembur​

SO????? CUTE?????????

would be on this list for Rio calling Beth E alone tbh

really really really really really love this Rio POV of being settled into a relationship with Beth

It manages to be sweetly domestic af while still holding the edge that makes brio brio which is a neat trick

@septiembur may be a witch

beth’s approach to getting rio to do yoga with her is hilarious and exactly right, canon-typical amounts of subtlety 

1000000/10

Post Break-Up Sex - femalegothic / @bethsuglywigs​

stg this was called Hit Shuffle

no matter

h O T

with a side of damn i’ve made some questionable choices in my life haven’t i introspection

(no regrats tho)

(esp not with this fic)

not the point of the fic by a long shot but i’m also extremely obsessed with Weed Eddie, so real

She drains my soul... she drains it not - niham87 / @niham87​

ABSOLUTELY OBSESSED WITH THIS CONCEPT

am a complete sucker for paranormal world building that satirizes bureaucracy 

Is that a trope? If so that’s my favorite

I did it. I’m picking a single favorite. You know what that is growth dot gif

ANYWAY i love the concept, i love the humor, i love beth instantly clicking with annie

I love her and mick’s sort of grudging professional courtesy

Love beth as a champion of environmental responsibility and all of the underworld being like …...okay??

cannot wait to see where this goes

Nine-Tenths - riosnecktattoo / @riosnecktattoo​

*INCOHERENT PTERODACTYL SCREECHING*

sometimes i think about rio putting beth’s hair in a ponytail and have to go lie down

science please explain why this rUinS mE

wait hold on i skipped ahead

HEY KIDS DO YOU LIKE UNBEARABLY CUTE DOMESTIC TENDERNESS

opens with rio sleepily holding beth’s hand to his heart so that’s the kind of thing you’ll be dealing with

uGH theY’RE sO CUTe

idk why precisely but rio adding hair ties to his bracelet collection is my undoing every time

Missed Call - foxmagpie / @foxmagpie​

Rio doesn’t come home from a job when he’s supposed to. Beth (and I!!!!!!!) slowly loses her mind

Truly a masterpiece of rising tension

Will literally never forgive her for calling this light angst

I was SO STRESSED OUT

The first person to point out there was an author’s note at the beginning I obvs didn’t read is getting blocked

crush - foxmagpie / @foxmagpie​

Listen even though this is centered around two OCs, they are OCs FROM a (n iconic) brio fic AND Beth, Ruby and Rio all make cameos (I mean, Rio’s pretty present since he lives in Mar’s mind rent free bc they are THE SWEETEST MOST ADORABLE BEST OF FRIENDS so idk if i’d call it a cameo but whatever)

and even if it didn’t feature any official GG characters I’d still rec is bc that’s mY SON AND this fic is TOO CUTE

I have so many feelings over mar and rio growing up and not knowing how to cope with girls becoming a Thing in their life and how it affects their friendship and mar feeling left behind but (SPOILERS) at the end of the story rio starts feeling that too and it’s so poignant knowing how that’s going to continue in delinquents

while mar may be my son, i also claim elena’s #1 stan status

before you’re like meg you’re only reccing it bc it’s a bday present ask yourselves do i really strike you as the kind of person that wouldn’t be equally obnoxious about this either way?

truly cannot fathom how hard i have fallen for these OCs i don’t normally do that

@foxmagpie is definitely a witch

The Ottoman - Niham87 / @niham87​

look i will be the first to admit that i don’t go near as bonkers over the ottoman line in 308 as y’all do

(don’t get me wrong, i love it!!! I love that he laughs and i love that she’s pleased it just doesn’t hit my lose my whole mind button like idk, the dubby or the 306 convo, idk why)

BUT i v v v much love the context this delightful Rio POV pwp gives it

am also absolutely feral for 209 missing scene fic

and anything that captures the complexity of Rio’s s3 feelings for Beth and how twisted they’ve become

so this scratches a bunch of itches, is what i’m trying to say

Bet On It - zetuslapetus / @querenaxx​

*INCOHERENT PTERODACTYL SCREECHING*

That’s what my brain does when I think about Beth and Rio meeting in ch 1

am DESPERATELY OBSESSED WITH the tension between the two of them in this fic

I love how it plays with the ways they have to rely on but don’t trust each other

plus FAKE DATING and BED SHARING (fair warning hasn’t happened yet but the set up is there)

originally supposed to be 2 chapters, already up to 4, prayer circle it goes on forever

do you like drugs (tonight) - s_t_c_s / @sothischickshe​

v important focus on hydration, other fic should take note

extremely about the use of cut to and then flashback to enhance the ‘we were on drugs’ vibe

speaking of, beth and rio absolutely would take ecstasy to prove they are fun bc they are the exact kind of idiots that would peer pressure themselves

so glad beth kept her purse, got a bit stressed there for a second, clutches in that kind of circumstance are A Risk

not that i would know

FLAWLESS USE OF VOICEMAIL TBH

really love the ongoing denial that they are remotely into each other while proceeding to demonstrate how they are in fact, extremely into each other, great vibe

rio dances

I know my brain broke too

mmmm bacon

Navigate A Broken Path - flashindie / @pynkhues​

*INCOHERENT PTERODACTYL SCREECHING*

I have a long standing tradition of getting unreasonably obsessed with side characters so i’m not like, entirely surprised by how obsessed i am with both Mick and Mary Pat but i never in a million years considered them as a ship

AND Y E T

they fit????? so perfectly?????? It’s amazing how she developes them individually enough that i look at them together and think ah yes this makes perfect sense for both characters

and they’re such an amazing foil to Beth and Rio? 

can ships have foils? do i know what a foil is? 

unimportant

GUYS you dON’T uNDERStAN d 

hell i don’t understand

how absolutely very dare you make me care about YET ANOTHER set of gg ‘verse children

do not read this fic if you have no interest in feelings you zero percent asked for

wHA t hAPPeNED iN aLASkA?????????

A Moment’s Silence - femalegothic / @bethsuglywigs​

*makes sign of the cross*

y’all are gonna make me rediscover religion

extremely appreciate the author’s note approach to backstory top notch prioritization

listen it’s basically 3k of beth deep throating rio idk what more you need me to say about it

it is…..good stuff

bless the kinkmeme or fest whatever we’re calling it

praise - civillove / @blainesebastian​

I mean you had me at “three times rio calls beth a good girl and one time he really means it”

ephemeral rio

I left that note for myself in here in the middle of the night and haven’t the foggiest what i was thinking but i stand by it none the less

okay okay i think i know what i meant, this fic (as do all of my fav civillove brio fics) has this sort of like, liminal, in the quiet moments feel to them that makes the moments and feelings somehow feel like i’m catching a glimpse of something secret and precious???

idk i just really like it okay

Heart and Soul - riosnecktattoo / @riosnecktattoo​

oh look more unbearably sweet domestic tenderness, this time to music

thank you ma’am for my life

rio remembers beth used to play piano and gets her one and revoltingly cute shenanigans result

also hilarity

and sexiness

this fic has it all, truly

shout out to mick who sees no reason to keep rio’s feelings to himself

good girls tumblr fic - prettylittlementirosa / @hypermania​​

cheating and reccing a whole series

It’s my list and i can do what i wanna

stop crying about it, it’s four fics and they’re all AMAZING absolutely impossible to pick a fav

truly flawless characterization, next level ability to capture evocative mood, cannot get enough

three’s a crowd: who knew ballroom dancing while dean watches and grinds his teeth could be so sexy 

(trick question everything about that premise sounds A++++ and boy howdy does it live up)

feel it on the way home: rio tries to break up with beth, it goes about as well as you’d expect

(thE angSty tenSioN)

i want to play the game: [from the floor] i’m still not ready to talk about it

(rio/turner, missing scene, 10000000% a taste of what went down in that hotel room)

june after dark: pitch perfect annie pov, really really love the take that Annie is the baby whisperer, can’t fully explain why but it feels incredibly right

(ANNIE X NANCY COULD WORK SO WELL YOU GUYS)

[chaotic-noceur]

regarding pragma.

read it here

Dear @softpedropascal

wow this took so much longer than I thought it would whoops.

So, first off- HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I hope you have the bestest day ever cuz you deserve it!

I’m incapable of forming coherent thoughts so um...here’s a cumulative post of my running commentary because my binge reading plans got disrupted so this seemed... neater? Idk. anyways, here you go. 

Part 1

No matter how many meetings and mediations you two went through, he still found a reason to keep dragging this out.

I read this as ‘meetings and meditations’ and was very confused for a sec 😂

That hat. You got him that hat. He still wore it?

omg u gave the hat a backstory. adkgadflhg 😍

He was tempted. God, was he tempted, but he shook his head and stood up straight. 

This just. Yes. We love a respectful man. 

I love all the little hints that you’re dropping about the reader and Frankie’s backstory. 

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 2

He told himself long ago that be would never forgive her for what she did,

WHAT DID I DO OMG.

“Can’t you, I dunno, sign for him?” he asked.

😂😂Frankie. Sweetheart. Who do you take me for? I can’t forge someone’s signature. I don’t have the skills for that. 

There was a reason he didn’t say goodbye. He was afraid to. He was afraid that if he said them again, he would have to go another five years without seeing her. Or has it been longer?

mY hEaRt

Pope and and Frankie’s ENTIRE interaction. 😍 I love that he can see right through Frankie’s bs, loves him anyways but will give it to him straight. 

He was too busy thinking about how if he had gotten his shit together, he could be living here with her, taking walks to his favorite lake every day.

asdfgadfkglhdf!!! Boo it ain’t all your fault 😢 (or is it 😏)

It’s funny how the simplest touch can cause the most complex feelings—feelings that he had sworn he buried deep inside of him somewhere. It was a complicated thing trying to be angry at her because in that moment all was forgotten and forgiven.

the DEPTH. in these sentences. oml. I’m so ready to learn about this complicated backstory.  

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 3

“I can make him sign ‘em,” he offered.

YES. I love a low key threatening boi.

“Yeah, until you decided I wasn’t good enough,” 

“Did you want to show me what I could have had with you if I wasn’t such a fuck up.” He sighed and put his hands on his hips.

AFGHSKF OMG MY HEART.

“I’m trailing water and mud all over the place but just remember that I saved your life before getting mad, okay?” 

“Nothing. Just like saying your name.”

ahhhh these are precious!!  

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 4

“Yeah. People do that right? Day dates?” He honestly wasn’t sure. Dates weren’t his forte.

🥺 someone help him. He’s so cute omg. 

“We might’ve made out a little too,” he mumbled.

aksfhksdfg look at him turning into a flustered boy!!!

“No. I just…stopped looking up,”

Babes. Idk if the double meaning was intentional but like. Wow. That hit hard. 

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 5

and has a name like ‘Bill’ or ‘Tom’.”

oop. We love a subtle Redfly dig 😂

!!!! IDK WHAT TO BLOCKQUOTE BUT OMG FRANKIE BEING PROTECTIVE. THE READERS BACKSTORY. FRANKIE KISSING AT THE PAST BRUISES. ANGRY FRANKIE OMG. 😭

I’m sorry there’s probably some more amazing stuff after that but t’was not a good ace day so i skipped the smut

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 6

You hid your body from him at first and when he moved your hands, you covered your face. Then he told you to never hide from him—he would always think you were beautiful

🥺🥺 this is so soft omg

sorry skipped the smut but im sure it was beautiful

“I’m not going anywhere.” You moved his arms so you could kneel in front of him. “I’m staying.”

*incoherent screaming*

“You can ask me for anything. I would give up everything I for you.”

The whole ending scene was AMAZING okay but this. This line right here. Big hurt omg. He knows the weight of what he’s saying. He knows how hard the road to recovery is and how many things are gonna try push him off that path. But he says it anyways. And it really really shows just how much she means to him. Brava! 

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 7

lmao I really need to start reading the warnings 😂

She was never going to be sad longer than necessary if he had anything to do about it.

WHERE CAN I GET A FRANKIE OML 😭

“That no matter where we were, when we look up, we’re looking at the same moon.” He looked at her though she was still looking up. “That always kept me going, you know?”

THE SOFT. AHHHHHH

The moonlight seemed to shine directly on her and make her glow like some ethereal being. She was an angel. She had to be. The stars twinkled above them but he had his own right here right now.

eXcUsE mE. wHo gAvE yOu tHe rIgHt tO wRiTe sOmEtHIng tHiS bEAuTiFul

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 8

“Stop ruining my romantic moment, please.

HAHAHAH I LOVE!

I can’t even- Omg. This whole chapter. I have no words

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 9

“I can’t,” he said, voice broken. “Please just let me…let me hold you. Let me…”

IDK THE FULL CONTEXT TO THIS (really hating my ace-ness rn cuz this last line is so heartfelt) BUT OMG BROKEN FRANKIE I JUST. ARGHHH

you realized that you were embracing your entire world right then and there. Letting it go would be the hardest thing you’d ever do.

take my heart and crush it why don’t you omg. 😭😍

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 10

She was hurt again. And it was his fault again.

I can’t do it. I can’t be alone anymore.

asdfghjk GURL. WHO HURT YOU OMG. LEMME HURT THEM BACK. 

His world spun and he felt like he was falling. He fell and fell into the abyss with no one there to save him as the bag felt like it was burning a hole in his hand. Is it hot? He felt hot. Burning up. Had he finally died and gone to hell? God knows that’s where he belonged.

No. It’s just an overwhelming darkness. Nothing. And that’s what he wanted, right? To feel nothing.

*VERY INCOHERENT SCREAMING* This is beautiful writing omg. The raw emotion in this. Holy hell. 

oml. That transition from pure pain and angst into love just *chefs kiss*. Frankie deserves so much 😭

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 11

“It wasn’t supposed to make you cry,”

wHat eLsE wAs iT sUpPoSeD tO dO omg. 

This whole chapter was SO CUTE!!! The way that Frankie just knows things about her. UGH. 

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 12

“What if it’s big and pulls me in?!”

MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY OMG

“I don’t wanna die,” he whispered.

His life felt as though it was falling apart all over again and he realized it was because she was the one that held him together and now that he was leaving, everything was one big mess again.

*inaudible screaming*

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 13

That ending tho! I love that you gave them their own little thing with the moon. Its so sweet 🥰and the Pope-Frankie friendship moments. *melts*

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 14

okay i was gonna blockquote but there was too much to quote This whole chapter felt so raw omg. If you’re pulling from real experience then I’m so sorry you ever had to go through that *pulls you into the biggest hug ever* (assuming you like hugs, if you don’t... i send you an affectionate ‘rubbing my forehead into your shoulder’)

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 15

“You could’ve walked in here with your head shaved and I’d still love it…but…please don’t.”

😂 yessss give me the humour in this sad

still haven’t learnt to read the warnings oml 🤦🏻‍♀️

ahhhh the soft reassuring Frankie content!!!!

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 16

“Probably because it’s Wednesday,” he said.

“It is?” you asked.

“Yeah. What day did you think it was?”

I FEEL SO ATTACKED OMG. What even is time anymore.

asfadsdfgdhk Its so SOFFTTT. Is this what it’s like to fall in love??😭

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 17

hallelujah i’ve finally learnt to read the warnings

ngaww Frankie being all excited and soft 🥺🥺 are they going camping?? are we gonna get Frankie in his element??

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 18

I’m as flat as a board back there.

I feel attacked and this wasn’t even directed at me oml 😂😂

tHeY aRe sO iN lOvE oMg 😍

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 19

I get it, it’s embarrassing, but I’m not judging you for it.

YES. In this house, we don’t judge people who are struggling to find jobs!

“I wouldn’t say them if you didn’t deserve them. You deserve good things, Frankie. You may not feel like you do but you do. Always.”

He sighed and rubbed your back. “If you say it then it must be true.”

*incoherent screaming* we all deserve good things okay 😭

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 20

thank you for the warnings that i’ve finally learnt to read before reading the fic

What if I’m a lost cause? Just some pathetic druggie who can’t get his shit together…mooching off his girl.

NOOO You’re not just some pathetic druggie Frankie😭😭

“Sleepovers? Do I get to paint your nails? Do your hair?”

Our love has aged gracefully kinda like us.

THE SOFT OMG 🥺🥺

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 21

“With all due respect, sir, I’m not and have never been an addict. Yeah, I did drugs. Yes, I hurt your daughter and she had to leave, but you know what, we’re together now and nothing’s gonna change that. She’s forgiven me and she loves me and that’s all that matters.”

YAS. I love this change from nervous wreck to confidence! 

This is so happy and soft and sweet oml. My angsty soul doesn’t know how to deal. 😭

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 22

Sweet baby jesus. It was soft. And then it was not. And then it was soft again and I just. *incoherent screaming* GURL. 

❖❖❖❖❖

ludus

I’m gonna have a house right on the other side of the lake.

asdfgI I Have Feelings.

GURLLL. This was so innocent!! They’re both so young and cute and asgalsfjghsd. 

❖❖❖❖❖

eros

“Are you running away from something?” she asked, and he bristled. “From me because you love me and don’t know how to say it?”

*incoherent screaming* well shit. you go gurl! you call him on his crap!

I skimmed the smut but like Frankie being a nervous wreck is 🥺

If you wanna see someone else while I’m gone, you can.

*more screaming because OMG if only he knew what that would lead to*

❖❖❖❖❖

ania

O damn. I kinda loved his slow descend into darkness... The fact that the reader still clings on to hope and love and just, damn. I’m lost for words. 

❖❖❖❖❖

coda

... 

...

that’s all my brain feels right now. that was dark, but like. a good dark. It was heart wrenching but beautiful and- “I won’t be able to find you if I’m lost myself,” THIS. I just. *chefs kiss* but also, *ugly sobbing*. 

[sunsetsover]

Talk about yesterdays episode.. tell me everything you enjoyed in detail lol.

first of all lemme just say i’m SO SORRY this took me so long to get to i know i said i’d answer this like last sunday but sometimes shit happens!!! but you asked for me to go into detail so i very much went into detail so!!! buckle in!!!

i’m doing this in bulletpoints for clarity otherwise it will just be an incoherent mess lmao

(also for reference this is abt the 8th nov ep aka the ‘you’re my boyfriend’ ep!)

ok so let me preface by saying i fuckin adored this ep it’s like god tier for me rn i love ben and pam’s relationship so mf much i hope she comes back soon

like the fact that she just knew!! she knew smth was going on w callum and ben more or less straight away and ok granted those two were not exactly being subtle what with the domestic they were having in the middle of the albert but u know... for all she knew callum was straight and had just broken up w whitney so the fact that she knows ben well enough to just be able to Know smth was goin on despite all of that?? i love that it says so much abt their relationship!!

and then her being the nan that she is and taking it upon herself to fish for information with jay like ‘callum seems nice.... shame abt whitney 👀’ and then jay covering for their asses by not saying anything but pam is Not Stupid and jay was also tellingly vague so she was instantly like i see 👀👀

and then ben entering the parlour shouting about ‘bring out your dead’ or w/e it is he says like the little shit he is and pam rolling her eyes and just the easy affection of that whole interaction like her gently slapping his face and calling him a little devil like ur damn right he is!! almost literally!! but there’s sm overt affection and love there and it’s so nice to see bc ben doesn’t really get that from anyone else (he does from callum now, and jay in certain situations, but it’s just different u know?? like u dont even see that energy from his own mum v often so it’s just... nice to see idk)

like i just love her she has such nan energy and it’s so comforting and warm and she needs to be around forever not just for ben but for jay and lola and also callum like ? pls come back forever pam

ben innocently trying to help callum out by getting him promoted to manager when he hears jay is gonna take a step back like!! he was really just tryna help bc he knew callum was struggling w money... and alright, he probably shouldn’t have meddled and i get why callum wasn’t happy abt it (i’ll get to that) but i also truly believe that that wasn’t him tryna control the situation or interfere or whatever but him genuinely trying to help out his bf and jay was gonna take a step back anyway so it wasn’t even like he was the one to suggest it or anything idk i just thought as misguided as it might have been it was very sweet and thoughtful

also the fact that ben’s reaction to jay being like ‘i suppose callum could be ready to be a manager’ was basically ‘yeah man have you seen him in that suit!!! he makes my dick hard!!!’ like !!!!!!! he was so sincere and enthusiastic as well like he’s fucking diabolical i love him sm ..... pair that with jay’s reaction basically just being like ‘........................ anyways’ sdkfjsdkfsl iconic scene

and then later!!!! you’ve got ben practically chasing callum into the parlour when he sees him go in there!! he’s so excited to see callum and tell him the good news abt the promotion!! bc he’s done good!!! he’s helping!!! bc he knows damn well he’s in the doghouse bc of what had happened with pam and like the energy he radiated when he walked into that parlour was very much ‘i am coming to u w my tail between my legs bc i know i fucked up but instead of saying sorry i’m going to give u the sad eyes and hope u relent’ and like u can see he was practically buzzing out of his skin as he waited for jay to tell him abt the promotion and he’s looking at callum like ‘look! look at what i did!! i’m fixing it! i’m making up for my mistake!’ bc this is obviously how he thinks he can fix things instead of idk having a conversation and talking abt things but!!! i love it ben’s so cute

but ofc it backfires bc callum doesn’t want ben to fix things!! he doesn’t need ben fixing things!! he can look after himself! and we the audience know it wasn’t like ben went to jay and was like ‘you need to promote callum bc he’s struggling with money’, it was more of a two birds one stone situation. but ofc callum doesn’t know that, and it comes across very much as ben meddling and also - as callum says - very hot and cold. like ben can’t tell pam abt their relationship and will ignore him for hours but will (seemingly) wade in like some kind of knight in shining armour bc callum said he’s having money troubles? nah. i said it at the time but i completely agree w callum’s reaction, i would have reacted the same way if i were him. and maybe on any other day callum wouldn’t have reacted so strongly, but after what had happened that morning w pam it’s completely understandable why he goes off on one.

and like poor ben is so confused like he obviously really thought this would be good news and put him back in callum’s good graces but ofc it doesn’t bc what callum needed was an explanation and apology. and you can see how confused and crestfallen he is bc he doesn’t want to fight w callum and he really didn’t want to make things worse but he evidently has and not only that but jay is there witnessing his massive fuck up in action. and u can just tell from the body language that he straight up doesn’t know what to do or say so he’s just kinda floundering bc he really thought he could fix what had happened with pam bc what? he half talked jay into giving callum a promotion? bless him lmao

then he goes full grovel mode - even if he is still very ben about it - and is leaving him voicemails (meaning he’s tried to call him multiple times, he probably tried texting too lmao) and moping abt in the cafe looking all sad and stressed and it’s just so good bc he knows he fucked up and he’s trying not to let it fester which is a v good and v adult thing to do. plus the juxtaposition of ben being like ‘u know ur gonna forgive me so stop being a diva and call me back’ and then that soft little ‘please 🥺’ tacked on the end??? delicious

and then pam walking up to him and standing there and just sighing. like not a word, she just stands there and sighs like dkjfkjsdkfjlsdkf mood !!

no but ok that whole scene of ben and pam in the cafe really had me welling up like just. everything about it. the layers to it all. and i won’t sit here and dissect every little thing even tho i probably could bc we’d be here all day but like just. all of it.

like pam’s exasperation at ben not telling her about him and callum (bc obviously she’s found out from someone - probably honey, who wouldn’t think to lie abt it if pam asked outright), ben not even being marginally surprised that she knows bc even he must know how obvious he’s been, and she was bound to find out from someone. the fact that he jumped when she raised her voice and pointed at him - i could make a whole separate post about that honestly that just. says so much about ben. but yh.... the fact that she knew without him even having to open his mouth that ben was gonna say it was to spare her feelings (like that’s essentially what he says to callum later in the ep). the fact that he didn’t really have a good excuse to offer her and he knew that. his sad little face and the fact that he made himself smaller and ducked his head like just his body language in general (max bowden is SO good at playing on that shit, he has a way of making ben seem physically smaller in certain situations and i love it sm). ben being like ‘idk i thought it’d be easier’ and pam immediately being like ‘yeah for u not callum!!!’ like the ‘u silly boy!!’ was so heavily implied throughout this whole scene u can practically taste it.

and pam! pam manages to effectively have a go at ben and call him out on his shit without belittling him or being cruel or nasty (and no naming names but like. certain mothers could learn a thing or two 👀) and actually have ben listen to her. because she listens to him and hears him and respects and loves him and he respects and loves her so she can have a go at him and his back won’t go up and he won’t lash out because he knows she’s not going to try and hurt him or be unnecessarily harsh. and that’s why their relationship is so special. also i’m still v bitter abt the way kathy handled calling out ben’s shit as opposed to how pam handled it but 🤷🏻‍♀️

like it’s such a little thing but it’s the way she waited for ben to speak. ben said ‘i didn’t-’ and then cut himself off, obviously either struggling to find the right words or struggling to say them out loud, and she just waited for him. waited for him to find the words, to figure out how to say it. she didn’t rush him or try and put words in his mouth or anything, she just sat there quietly, patiently waiting for ben to explain himself in his own time. that is the difference between her and everyone else, and that’s why ben listens to her. because she listens to him - and i mean really, actually listens rather than just hearing the sound of his voice ygm

and then they get too the root of it all: paul. he says he didn’t want pam thinking he’d forgotten paul - which is only half true, imo. i think he was (and maybe still is) just as scared that he’s going to forget paul. i think he has a lot of unaddressed issues when it comes to paul and what happened in general. and i think he definitely needed permission specifically from les and/or pam that it was ok for him to move on now - bc other ppl have tried to tell him that but u can tell from how he’s reacted in the past that he doesn’t like ppl who didn’t really know paul talking abt what he would or wouldn’t want. but pam did know paul, probably better than anyone. and she’s telling him that it’s ok. that she wants him to be happy, and that’s exactly what paul would want too. and she would know - she’s his nan. so ben can allow himself to listen to her. he trusts her, trusts that she would know what paul would want, how he would feel. and now he has permission to let go of the past a little bit and finally start moving on.

and that’s hard!! like as much as he might like callum, that’s still a hard thing to do for him!! you can see on his face that it’s hard for him to digest and accept what pam’s telling him - that maybe it’s finally time to let go. it’s just as hard for him to confess that yeah, he does care about callum - he gives her the tiniest nod of the head because he can hardly even bring himself to say it, but he can’t deny it either. and it’s hard for pam too, is the thing. you can from the way her voice shakes as she tells him it’s time to start showing callum that he cares how hard she’s trying not to cry. not because she’s not being sincere, not bc she doesn’t mean it or she doesn’t want ben to move on and be happy, but it’s still a hard thing. the world has moved on without paul, and now ben - the last link to him in a lot of ways - is too, and as necessary and as good as that is for him, it doesn’t make it any easier for them. grief is a weird and difficult thing and i think they both did a good job of portraying the struggle of it in this scene.

and then them having this moment right at the end at the end where they’re just smiling at each other w their heads rested together and it’s not an easy thing and they’re both obviously a bit upset and broken but it’s so sincere and warm and she just pulls him in and kisses his head and he just lets himself be comforted by her and by this point i had a big lump in my chest bc it was a very real and important and sweet moment and i was a lil overwhelmed

the tiny mick and callum scene!! i want more of them!!! we haven’t had a proper mick and callum scene since before the wedding i think and i know realistically it’s bc danny dyer has been doin other stuff and hasn’t been filming much and then when he has been filming obv the focus has been on the ollie/linda stuff but!! i miss them and it was so good to see them acknowledge that they haven’t seen each other much and for mick to acknowledge callum’s relationship w ben (calling it ‘matters of the heart’ 🥺️) it was just Good i love their relationship sm and i miss them and i need more!!

mick being so happy to see pam was just !!!!!!!!!! like everyone loves pam!!!!!!! please can she come back and stay forever pls

ben’s face when he tried to approach callum only for callum to turn his back on him like that boy was CRUSHED and he didn’t know what to do like he just stood there for a moment unsure what to do w himself and it was Gud

the shot of callum drinking his beer looking all mopey and dejected with ben staring at the back of his head obviously pining even if he wasn’t in focus and then pam telling ben to basically get his shit together and fix this and practically shoving him towards callum while ben’s lookin like he’s trying to psych himself up and mick’s just there looking between all of them trying to figure the whole thing out??? high art

ben approaching callum looking visibly nervous and out of his depth... and then callum seeming genuinely surprised that ben had come over... bye

the fact that the first thing ben said was ‘i’m sorry’!!! ben saying he understands why callum flipped out the way he did!!! callum saying he understands that ben was just trying to help!!!! ben acknowledging that callum is hurt and upset and then explaining why he did what he did and how he felt but still acknowledging that he hurt callum!!! the fucking communication!!!!!!!! like honestly it hasn’t been smooth sailing for these two so far but they always seem to be surprisingly good at communicating and talking when smth is going wrong, at least after the fact (esp ben) and i LOVE that it’s so healthy!!

callum doing the very callum thing and being like ‘it’s fine, i get it’ even tho he’s clearly still upset bc he doesn’t wanna rock the boat but then ben being like ‘no, it’s not fine! what i did is not fine! you don’t have the pretend that it is!’ and callum seeming lowkey taken aback by that :-(

(pam and mick just watching on in the background of all of this like the pseudo parents they are like honestly??? maybe the best part of the scene LMAO)

that little bit of nervousness before ben says ‘you’re my boyfriend’ like he said it in a very sure way but you could tell he was nervous bless him... and then the way callum’s face lit up but he tried to hide it and not smile and play it cool with his ‘you’ve never called me that before’ but then it cuts back to ben who has the biggest smile on his face but u can tell he’s tryna suppress it a lil too but failing miserably AND THEN shy ben makes an appearance w his little ‘well you are, aren’t ya?’ like he just wants to be sure!! he wants to ask so callum has the opportunity to say no (though judging by both of their faces he knew callum wasn’t gonna say no lmao) but he’s still ben so he’s gotta ask in this roundabout way... man it’s so cute

combine that with callum’s little pout and squint like he was pretending he really had to think abt it and the tone of his little ‘yeah’ like he was like ‘i suppose so’.... the subtle banter of it all i love it.... but he can’t keep it up for long bc then he’s the one with a massive smile on his face like bro... the sun doesn’t even shine that bright

and then ben’s little disbelieving ‘yeah?’ like he had to make sure :-(

AND JUST PAM AND MICK BEING LIKE AWWW WHEN THEY KISSED AND MICK BEING LIKE ‘HOW LOVELY’ AND JUST STANDING THERE SMILING AT THEM IT TOOK ME OUT FR

ben asking callum if he’s happy and callum tapping ben’s chin and telling him he is...................... the two of them looking at each other Like That....... talented brilliant incredible amazing etc

pam being like ‘my work here is done’ i love HER

ben making a point of being like ‘pam i want you to meet my boyfriend’ he’s so fuckin cute i love him

the whole pam and callum exchange from the hug to her holding his hand and telling him how lucky he is to have ben and then telling callum that ben has the biggest heart of anyone she knows but saying it to ben bc she knows he needs to hear that too bc like... when has anyone EVER said that about ben?? when has anyone ever thought that about ben?? but she sees through all the bullshit and sees him for the kind, soft-hearted, loving but equally damaged boy he really is and she wants callum to know and understand that but also for ben to know that too and i’m crying just thinking about it bc you can see ben’s face change and how emotional he starts to get not only bc it’s pam and everything that must be going through his head abt paul, but also just?? someone being kind to him?? saying smth nice?? god i’m broken

like pam really almost had me in tears in this scene genuinely esp when she was clearly getting emotional (as was ben) and she took both of their hands and told them to look after each other, given everything that happened with paul, and them both saying ‘we will’.... like that really fucked me up.... it felt like a Moment.... and then follow that up w pam and ben resting their heads against each other and whispering ‘i love you’ and it was so warm and full of love and adoration .... the ‘i hate goodbyes’.... the palm kiss.... the fact that ben looked like he was abt to cry as pam left... i was a broken woman truly

and then they just went on as if nothing happened and they didn’t just have a very significant relationship moment with the ‘i am lucky’ ‘i’m glad you realize it’ banter lmao

ben being like ‘u have the support of ur boyfriend 🥰️’ when callum was explaining he wanted to leave the parlour like he really couldn’t keep that word out of his mouth huh 🥺️

and the way he grabbed callum’s hand but only managed to get 3 fingers and then callum putting his hand on top of ben’s like for some reason that really fucked me up......... like gays and hands am i right

the journey ben’s face went on when callum told him he wanted to join the police.... the way it went from ‘haha good joke’ to ‘..................... wait he’s being serious’ to ‘oh god what the fuck’ was amazing lmao

and then him interrupting jay and lola w his massive dramatic freak out was so fucking funny like the way jay just shoved lola off his lap when ben come in KILLED me honestly and like ben’s on the verge of a breakdown and his brother and the mother of his child are just taking the piss and laughing at his expense.......... i love family

yeah so perhaps i went a bit overboard w this one but i did make you wait like a week and a half so perhaps this will make up for it lmao ??? but rlly tho i loved this ep sm there was so much good abt it and i want to keep pam forever thank u for ur time 💖💖

[bentenharuki]

I generally don’t do these but...

I will do this because it’s a badge of honor and a thank you for @todayintokyo who gives me a daily vibe out of my second fav Country in the world (first one is my own, of course. My messy, chaotic, genius Italy).

So for everyone interested (I won’t tag people either... if you are among my 250+ readers, do it as freely as you like to share this unexpected hard time along others. Sharing makes us all feel less stranded I guess :)) 

1. Are you staying home from work/school? Yep. My University (Milano Bicocca) holds in-house lessons and curses and also exams and testing are/will be online. What I miss most are the lab works and the exchanges with foreign schools. I took one a few months ago in London and I was supposed to have another in May but... NOPE, of course.

2. If you’re staying home, who’s there with you? I am alone in my apartment. At first it was supposed to be shared rent with somebody else but then my parents just bought this out and lent it to me. I know. I am spoiled. But very grateful for what I have. I always try to give back the best I can because no one has merits in being born in a family instead of another. (pieces of second-rate philosophy in all my LONG answers courtesy of my mum and her influence on me. She’s a University Professor and her field is.. guess what.. ETHICS PHILOSOPHY)

3. Do you have pets to keep you company? Nope. Not allowed. But I like cats. Cats. CATS. They are elegant, refined, very clean, and they give you consideration and affection ONLY if they like you. I prefer to conquer somebody’s love instead than to have it by default. Then I am naturally a cat person instead of a dog’s. But I like all animals (I like snakes as well, so my range is pretty wide ;)), even though I don’t feel missing any in  house. Generally I would be out of home most of the day and no pet would be happy in staying that much alone. I miss my grandparents’ kitty tho :)

4. Who do you miss the most? Family. Friends. Meeting new people when out. And... (is it fine to say it?) Well... in these lockdown times I miss... human touch. (You get what kind). I was seeing a guy when this all started and my old boyf also came back into the picture somehow. All on hold. And I avoid to think how that makes me feel because even in case I’d figure it out, what comes if one can’t act on the awareness? Exactly. So I put it all in a LONG pause. But yeah... I miss contacts. A LOT.

5. When was the last time you left your home? I go out every Thursday to buy all my grocery stuff. I am very methodic. My supermarket is pretty near and it’s BIG and I get there right before it opens (well... one hour almost before it opens, so I can be among the firsts in line). I look like a ninja: very sporty and technically dressed (like for a running competition!) with clothes and shoes which are easy washable, tech mask (it is for cycling competition, with filters specifically medical: the mask is washable as well after you’ve used it, while the filter is obviously not), cotton fit gloves and over them medical gloves (I can’t wear directly medical gloves because my skin is very sensitive and I suffer from nickel allergia, which makes latex gloves a NO NO directly on skin), teck googles which cover also the side of my face (those are from cycling items too) and of course PODS in my ear because I can’t live without music :)

6. What was the last thing you bought? I bought online a few garden tools for my biggest balcony. I have ZERO skill with plants (and I am supposed to become a biologist... the nerve! LOL) but I am keen at making grow at least rosemery for my recipes. I have a little peach tree and it is all fine so far. I have hope I can do better and anyway I have time now ;)

7. Is quarantine driving you insane or are you finally relaxed? I try to keep my routine as it was before. I wake up and perform all my tasks exactly as I was doing before this all started. I am VERY organized and to lax on that would ruin me, so I carefully focus on what I can control the best I can. It feels strange to say it maybe but... this way my mood isn’t particularly affected by this heavy revolution in my (and everyone elses’s) life.

8. Are you a homebody? NOPE. I love people, I love my Milan and its being always full of people everywhere. I love living in my town a TON, I love meeting friends anywhere, go dancing, I love to live my University life in this beautiful and renewed part of Milan; I like being surrounded by my people and meeting new ones. So being stuck at home would seem insufferable for me. But I learnt from this (there’s always something to learn in any experience) that I can be surprisingly ok with staying home too. I came to know better my neighbors. I feel a sense of community with everyone living nearby and I have come to love my domesticity too. It was a surprise for me first ^.^

9. What movies have you watched recently? In Italy, Italia 1 channel has had the WONDERFUL idea to rebroadcast all Harry Potter saga every Monday and Thursday. Today and tomorrow there are the last two installments, so I can say that is what I looked out the most for as in movie things these past weeks (funny how I never particularly adored the books of HP, I mean, I liked them but... being a Tolkien’s devotee Rowlings’ literary efforts always seemed lackluster to me.. and still I have always liked the movies. It’s incoherent I know ;)). But I have Sky at home so I can watch whatever movie I like to whenever I want to. And that leads to VERY little watch actually. I am reading a ton though. I watch what passes on in the National channels actually, out of digital and cable and decide to watch it or not. For instance last Friday Rai 1 (main Italian Channel) broadcasted one of my fav movies from the past three years, GIFTED (with Chris Evans and Octavia Spencer) and I rewatched it with immense pleasure.

10. An event that you were looking forward to that got cancelled? OLYMPICS. I was supposed to be back in Japan with a a couple of friends and my bro for experience the Olympics (especially the volleyball tournaments) between July and August and that got (of course) cancelled. We plan to move it all to next year of course. But it hurts SO MUCH because it was easily what I was looking forward to BEST for all 2020. Hands down.

11. What’s the best and worst thing you’ve had to cancel? Look up. For the other question, I never plan things I don’t like (or at least I try my best not to) and I almost never find myself in the position of being happy for something I had going on which I had to pass due to circumstances. I am a very honest (sometimes to the point of bluntness, though with age I got trained in the fine art of diplomacy, which for me is declined especially in the “IGNORE WHAT IS NOT WORTHY degree) person and if there is something I don’t like I tend to not get involved with it in the first place.

12. Do you have any new hobbies? Eh... the longest list... I love so many things. Sport don’t count as hobbies to me because I treat them as part of my daily life constantly. So take them off. I like to write, to draw, to paint... I like reading, I like learning... I am a tech geek; I like gaming (but that I have to cut it or it would absorb me too much)... I like TRAVELING (that is cut off too of course nowadays), and many other things so I guess I don’t literally have SPACE for new hobbies. My many ones makes it impossible to fall for new things though lately I am becoming a better cook out of needs ;)

13. What are you out of? My lists are made as soon my things become “two items in from having 0″. This way I can’t run out of anything. Did I say already I am a HUGE control freak? THAT ;)

14. What music are you listening to? My itunes collections lists so far 12376 ALBUMS. Then I have the random songs. Latest one I bought (because I buy them all) is Achille Lauro’s latest 16 Marzo 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yb-9RESbeWA

I am also listening a lot to one of my bro’s fav bands Radiohead and as usual a lot to my beloved Imagine Dragons. My mum and dad are also telling me to listen to Bill Withers (who recently passed away) whole discography because he was amazing. I love many music genres. I love ALL which makes the spirit soar and rage and evolve and love and cry and hope.

15. What are you reading? So far in quarantine I read 5 books. I have now to start ORIGINS by Dan Brown. I pick the books I have left unread randomly and that was the pick this time (people gift me with books constantly because they know I am a bookworm when I have spare time).

16. What are you doing for self-care? Keep loving myself and life and the world exactly the way I used to before this all started.

17. Are you exercising? Yup. Tapis roulant, golf training, stepper (all in my house lucky me) and mat and weight training. I have a routine for which I have to train at least one hour a day. NO EXCEPTION. I miss swimming but I will do. I am also in recovery after January’s knee meniscus intervention so my schedules are also taking that into consideration.

18. How’s your toilet paper supply? I'm OK. :)

19. Have you made any changes to your hair during quarantine? Nope. I love to stylize my hair but I don’t have specific cuts. It grows long and then I play with them hairstyles: braids, buns, ponytails, partitions and the likes.. But I have bleached hair and I had to follow my hairdresser advice because I can’t allow ugly roots to take dominance of me ^.^ So I bought the necessary to self bleach them. No need to say as soon as I will be able to, Hairdressers and Massages and SPA will be my first destination ^.^ (beside visiting family and friends of course).

I am fairly sure I put lots of typos and mistakes in this but I have my online lesson just starting in 8 minutes and I can’t review this (I generally never do it anyway). So forgive me and have a beautiful day ;)

STAY SAFE OUT THERE!!! Hugs K.

[wintersoldeer]

ok here's some totally incoherent thoughts about endgame that i just have to write down or i might explode spoilers: i loved it also actual spoilers spoilers very spoilery spoilers

1. Steve and the goddddamn mjölnir!!!!! FINALLY!!!!!! when thor, iron man and cap were like 'aw yeahhh we're gonna fight thanos' i was like what the heckie is steve even doing there, supersoldier or not he's just a human. then thor drops his hammer and i’m like oh my gods please literally crossing my fingers. then thor’s fight is not going so well and oh no he definitely needs someone to save him! i’m like ohhhhhmygooddss. and THEN IT FINALLY HAPPENS I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FOR YEARS HELL YEAHHHHH

2. steve & peggy dance. yes. just yes. fucking finally. i love it. it was perfect i cried

3. clint should’ve died. (finally haha) he was my fave since before the avengers and i was so sure he was going to die back then, but then he didn’t and look what’s became of him since.......... i had a violent flashback to watching age of ultron for the first time and for the first time just hoping that my fave character (that would be clint) would just die, bc they’re screwing his character over so badly........ and most definitely it. should.  not. have. been. natasha. who. died.  that was such a bullshit i mean WHAT THE FUCK????  i mean maybe clint and natasha were the only remaining avengers that actually loved each other (?¿¿????¿¿¿?¿ tho that’s just flimsy, i’m just trying to....idek) and that’s why it had to be them on that stupid fuckin death cliff, but why did natasha have to die?? just because clint had a family (still with no actual characterization, not that i even care, or maybe i would if the movies had given me any reason to...) to return to and she didn’t??that fucking sucks and what sucks even more is that not only was natasha the only character that died (i’m not even counting tony, bc that was very Different) but she’s the only original female avenger AND it’s the same stupd fucking rock that the only original female gotg gamora died in such a bullshit way just last movie??? goddddd i hated that so much like maybe if she hadn’t been the first one to die and all the original avengers would’ve died as was i kinda hoping (tho i love happy endings so i didn’t actually hope that it would happen..), maybe then i would be okay with her being dead. now i am very much not okay, and that means very much not okay in a angry way, not in a sad way

4. speaking of death: to me tony’s was perfect. i might not be the biggest fan of how he always got the most screentime and a bigger role than other characters, but i can’t deny that he definitely is the heart of the whole mcu and it had to be him who saves the day in the end and what else could it have been that a very tony-like self-sacrifice..... god i cried. i loved that he got a funeral (even tho natasha didn’t...) and i loved his funeral with all the people and fricking harley and then the kid saying how much she likes cheeseburgers and the frickin ‘proof that tony stark has a heart’ and sfghkklkghhhh

5. i gasped audibly when i noticed that natasha was wearing the arrow necklace

6. i kinda forgot that vision ever even existed..... in the end i first thought that wanda was talking about pietro and then i was like ok well maybe not maybe she’s talking about tony or something WHICH MAKES NO SENSE LOL i don’t even remember what she actually said, but as was pointed out to me, she was probably talking about vision. who was a thing that existed... whoops

7. ugh i hate brucenat, i really thought we were over that shit already. i also very much disliked that they actually decided to go with professor hulk, but idk w/e i don’t care that much. but natasha’s death sucked tho and the one thing i do not want to see is bruce’s pain or whatever when the movie didn’t even give me the time or reason to actually grieve for her goddd that whole thing was such a bullshit

8. i did not like that thor was treated as a joke most of his screentime........

9. that stevepeggy dance tho. love it. it’ll probably take me at least another seven years to get over it

10. i fricking adored the whole going back in time thing, especially the 2012. the callbacks and the humor really worked for me, the elevator scene straight from cap2 but reversed and hail hydra and steve fighting steve and loki’s expressions when things go wrong and goddhhh i loved it all aaaaaaa, that was the moment when i was like ok i need to see this movie again immediately.... also the fact that their time travel rules were that they were just creating new paths or w/e i guess, and not actually changing what happened to them specifically... good. so many aus

11. that final battle was so perfectly epic

12. tho shouldn’t valkyrie’s (who really just doesn’t have a real name, now does she..) horse have died after being shot haha

13. i loved that clint had the gauntlet for so long, like he’s definitely the Least Qualified Person to keep it safe, why would that be his job, it was amazing

14. i hated natasha’s death with burning passion, but i loved how she and clint fought each other over who gets to throw themselves off that cliff. tho i really hoped that their ‘yeahh we know what we have to do’ would’ve rather meant that they decided to just throw red skull down bc who even knows if it even actually needs love sacrifice or w/e, a soul is a soul is a soul

15. i loved the human jarvis whatever-his-first-name-was cameo and i really need to finally watch/rewatch agent carter

16. i really liked the tony howard scene even if i thought it felt a bit iffy, bc i feel like there’s so much more to unpack w/ those daddy issues.... but maybe that scene means that there is that one universe where howard was actually a good dad. i want to believe that. yeah. (maybe not but let me dream)

17. i like how they totally forgot that sharon carter ever even existed

18. damn that moment when black panther comes through that portal

19. damn that moment when gi ant-man is giant

20. damn that final battle was so epic

21. damn that steve with mjölnir

22. this movie was SO GOOD when it was good and so mehhh when it was bad, and i’m really glad that it was just good enough that i can forgive overlook all of its flaws. (tho i will not forgive what they did to natasha, even if i can mostly ignore it when thinking about how good most of the rest of the movie was) but idk if it would’ve been perfect, maybe i wouldn’t have survived like there’s this One Huge Thing (natasha) that really brings down the movie that otherwise would’ve been just Amazing

23. i don’t know if my heart has ever beaten as fast as when steve finally picks up the hammer. never while watching a movie, at least

24. i love that carol has her short haircut, bc it bothered me so much in cpn marvel that she should not have been able to see anything when her hair was just constantly on her face haha

25. i feel nothing but seething resentment towards clint’s stupid family and that stupid family man role he is stuck with

26. why was natasha’s hair so weird and ugly. why can’t it just be red??

27. clint’s hair was weird and ugly too and i think i have finally kinda given up on mcu!clint (tho he has those small Very Good moments and i cry for what could’ve been.....we could’ve have it aaaaaalllll.... i think i’m going to watch swat (2003) again and still pretend it’s the clint backstory movie i deserve haha, it’s been ages since i’ve seen it idk if it would still work for me, i’m gonna try)

28. i love nebula tho

29. i loved the trip down memory lane! frigga!!!! the way the continuation of the avengers capturing loki just felt so natural and like it probably happened just like that! nebula and rhodey judging quill’s singing and dancing haha yes! everything! just as i was hoping it would be!

30. doesn’t really have anything to do with this movie but: i still firmly believe that coulson never died. i still firmly believe that pietro never died. 

31. falcon cap helll yeah!!

32. i guess i’ll never get my strike team delta movie with clintasha best friends soulmates and with buckynat and the red room.........  goddd there really should’ve been a black widow movie after cap2. like that was The Perfect Spot for a black widow movie, it’s really a crime that there isn’t one, and even if they make a black widow movie now, it’ll definitely be too little too late.

33. like..... a for effort..... for that female heroes girl power.... ughhhh.... scene, i guess, but that. does. not. cut. it. when you have just killed natasha

34. things i really wished they would say in some perfect moments: “hail hydra” “avengers assemble!” “i am iron man”. things they did say in those moments: “hail hydra” “avengers assemble” “i am iron man”, gogssgddd that was perfect (ok i also really did wish steve would’ve said the “i could do this all day” in the fight but couldn’t say bc the movie had just made fun of that.. i’m kinda sad but haha it’s not that big of a deal, maybe if he hadnt said it in civil war which i dont like but well...)

35. haha people are already complaining about the steve going back thing and how it’s definitely not moving on and erasing character development or whatever and HA. i finally got my stevepeggy dance i don’t care about anything else i am so happy!!!!!

36. i am so glad i managed to avoid any spoilers bc i hear that there was some pretty massive ones going around??¿?¿?

37. also: ok from here on out i am not here for any of you negative nancys complaining (probably very reasonable complaints idec) about the movie, god i really wish it was 2012 again

38. in final thoughts: i absolutely loved it and i love that it turns out that i’m apparently still very much marvel trash........ if natasha hadn’t died, especially in such a bullshit way, i would’ve been able to overlook everything else that was kinda meh about the movie and just purely and blindly loved it. i still did love it, a lot, but now there’s that bitter aftertaste.....

ok now, maybe that’s enough rambling and repeating myself....... i’m going to need to see it again asap

//EDIT

39. I FORGOT TO MENTION IT BC I FORGOT ABOUT IT but goooooooooodddd i loved nebula and tony playing that game in the beginning and tony letting nebula win ääääää

[apmnwq]

Now that a few days have passed since endgame I'm finally emotionally stable enough to express my thoughts on it (idk how to add a Keep Reading on phone lmao sry)

I entered the theatre with pretty high expectations, and endgame still managed to exceed them.

I can only describe it as epic. There were only sooo many epic scenes: Cap lifting Mjolnir, all the female characters teaming up during the final battle... and hearing all the people around reacting and gasping at the same time, it was an amazing experience.

Even though time travel is always tricky in movies (there were a few incoherences in this regard), it was really well brought in the storyline and it allowed to revisit many previous movies in an enjoyable way. Sometimes quirky (the scenes taking place during the first avengers movie), sometimes decisive for the plot (nebula getting caught by her past self), and sometimes terribly emotional (the soul stone :'( ), it was all I think really well written.

There was an excellent balance of serious, funny, epic, and sad scenes. Throughout the movie I found myself crying of laughter, joy, and sadness (I get easily emotional ik). It wasn't too serious, and even the funny scenes carried a message or a morale (cf hungover Thor ending up getting an important lesson from his mother). Still it wasn't just a comedy movie: Clint and Natasha willing to sacrifice was heart-wrenching to watch, and Clint's fall into madness was uh pretty dark.

Many characters had a good closure. Tony's death probably being the saddest, but it wasn't unfair like I had feared. I could even see it coming, giving that his narrative arc was slowly coming to a close (he had the opportunity to raise his daughter for five years, he got to see his father again, forgive him, and thank him, he called himself Potts, he forgave Cap too, and he spoke an epic one liner which was a throwback/tribute to the very beginning). It was clear that he was going to die, even though that didn't make it less heartbreaking to watch. About Steve, he eventually lived the life he had dreamed of and deserved (and the one I had hoped for): growing old with Peggy, loved, in the time period he was supposed to know. Despite the time plot-hole, it was satisfying to watch and an excellent way to say goodbye to Captain. About Thor, I didn't know how his story could end if not by death, and turns out what we got was excellent. Since his first movie, he had never considered the possibility of being anything other than ruler of Asgard. In the end, it wasn't necessarily his dream, and he could find happiness somewhere else, living a life of freedom (and adventures with the Guardians!!!). It's perfect. About Bruce (<3), he had his closure from the beginning of the movie. It was hilarious to watch (and still is hilarious to think of), but it's all I'd hoped for: solving his issues with the Hulk, and finding an agreement. This is such a cool version of the character and I love it really much and I'm glad he's alive. Clint didn't have that much of a closure, but he got his family back (opening the movie with him losing his family destroyed me in barely two minutes lmao), and can now stay with them like he had promised. Natasha, well her closure was not the best (she could've lived with Bruce, although I didn't ship them that much), but in hindsight she would've struggled to adapt to a normal life. And someone had to die for the soul stone. I cried so much tho.

Downsides? Not many tbh. Maybe the lack of lgbt representation (in ten (10) years of mcu we only managed to have one (1) gay background character). Also, having fat Thor being played out as really funny (yes, it was comically contrasting with his traditional image, but idk it sometimes felt borderline fatphobic) (but fck it he wrecked Thanos in battle so whatever).

Bonus points for Carol's haircut!!!! And Clint's!!!! Both hot as fck I deceased multiple times.

The three hours went flying. An amazing closure, just as promised.

[paulum--mortis]

nsfw a-z for fennel

bc i'm thinking bunny thoughts and i can't sleep and if this is incoherent forgive me

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

BIIIIIIIG softie,,,,,,whether he topped or bottomed he don't care he wants snuggles !! and kisses !!!!!

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

painter boy has some niiiiiiice ass hands and he knows it. wonderfully long fingers for SURE. def a hip enjoyer,,,,, grips em a lot

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

uh it. it sure is. cum. ig. likes finishing on his partner's chest ig

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

closet exhibitionist,,,,,, like he wouldn't fuck you in front of a crowd but he's absolutely jacked off to the thought yk???

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

uhhhhhhhh i'm doing 24y/o fen and. decently experienced??? absolutey picked up on mieran and vesper's flirting skills for sure. he Knows What He's Doing, he j gets a lil shy sometimes if there's feelings involved <3

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

depends on the mood??? he's a slut for some loving missionary but he s not above the temptations of like. valedictorian yk

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

he's not all that humorous??? but like he knows how to go along w the vibe and if the vibe calls for a giggle he giggles

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

he trims some of it from time to time?? it's black tho lmao no pastel pink pubes i'm afraid

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…) 

ooooooh he can be SUCH a sweetheart... hold his partner's hand, tell them how much he loves them, cover them in kisses,,,,,, the whole package

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

mutual masturbation is HIS thing bro he LOVES IT he DIES FOR IT he finds it so hot,,,,,, gets a li more domineering w it too it's v v 😳

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

it's all about the b's. breeding, bondage, blindfolding, and breath play <3

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

again, he's got a few public/semi public fantasies, but for what actually goes on i think he's v fond of his dorm room??? someplace where they can't actually be annoyed, maybe even his and mieran's studio at the manor

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

kiss his collarbones while he's painting and he'll make the neediest squeak on recorded history, nibble on his neck while he's reading up on some magic and you'll be getting slammed against the nearest wall

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

if his partner mentions piss, even as a joke, he immediately summons his shotgun.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

he's v v good at giving oral but he just loves receiving so much,,,,,,,, soooo needy <3

P = Pace (Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

also depends?? if he's on one of his softboi moods he's v slow and sweet, but he's also so rough and fast and mean when he wants to be,,,,

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

he obviously prefers proper sex but he wouldn't really turn down a quickie,,,, not his preference but finds em a lil hot ngl

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

again, dreams of fucking in a stage, but yeah !!! he always places a billion safety nets first but he's down for most shit

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last...)

he naturally inclines, physically and magically, to bunnies. there's your answer.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

maybe a vibrator or two??? not really his thing tho, doesn't cross his mind all that much

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

fennel rarely STARTS the teasing but if you dared tease him a lil you're in for it. a slightly spicy comment at your coffee date is retaliated with a hand between your legs under the tablecloth (punish him for it tho he'll love it)

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

if he's on top? a lil chatty, grunts, pants, the occasional low moan... on bottom he's so loud tho. whiniest mf ever. shut him up w a kiss (he'll melt)

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

partner in his clothes flips a switch inside of him. it's the "prevent fennel from railing his partner absolutely speechless". it flips it off.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

i do Not Know how to describe dicks i'm fully ngl to you. 7.3in tho.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

moderate to high... good thing he gets a decent amount of bitches ig

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

he'll wait til the mood is right and everyone is clean and all but the second all is said and done?? conks out lmao gn a mimir