#this wondering and second guessing at what feelings belong To Them and what are just the ones from the
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rowie264 · 1 day ago
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Jinx x jinxer!reader. First kiss
Warnings: mention of stalking, mention of possessive behaviour, fluff
After your first encounter with Jinx, you began to see her more often. Somehow, she always knew where to find you and where you lived, appearing out of nowhere. You wondered if she was stalking you, but you tried not to dwell on that thought for the sake of your peace of mind.
You'd be lying if you said you didn't like spending time with her. Jinx turned out to be completely different from what you used to think. Of course, it's true that she was dangerous and crazy, but you also found out how funny and passionate she was. It was really interesting to hear her explain how her bombs and other devices work, even though you barely understood the details.
She was an artist too, just like you. Her style was different, but no less fascinating. Sometimes you even painted something together on the walls of Zaun.
You couldn't deny your growing affection for her. Even considered her... a friend.
A few weeks later, you also began to notice that her behavior toward you was changing.
She was touchy from the very beginning – had no idea about personal space at all – but over time she became bolder and clingier. It was startling you at first but at some point you’ve got used to it, enjoying random touches and tight hugs as much as Jinx did.
But seems like for her it wasn’t enough.
She was becoming demanding and possessive. Often asked you to spend more time with her instead of Jinxers. Sometimes you caught her saying something she shouldn't have known (this is when you stopped ignoring whole stalking thing you had guesses about). Sometimes she would sneak into your bed to sleep beside you. Sometimes you have noticed that your belongings disappear for several days, but appear in the same place as if nothing had happened.
You knew you should be afraid and disgusted… but you didn’t. That's when you realized that you fell in love with her.
One day you came to Jinx's lair and saw that she was doing something at the workplace. You walked over and put your arms around her waist from behind. “A new project?” You ask, looking at the blueprints.
Jinx stiffens for a second before relaxing and leaning back against you. “Yep! A bomb that turns into smaller bombs jumping around before exploding!” She chirps with infectious enthusiasm.
“And the purpose? Besides fun I mean.” One of your hands starts slowly caressing her stomach, continuing to speak in as casual tone as possible. Today you wanted to push the boundaries even further. Do something that friends don't do and make sure that you were right in your assumptions.
“Ya know… bigger radius. Harder to dodge all of them too.” She tries to look unperturbed, but her breathing gets a little heavier, and you feel hard muscles tense under your fingers.
“Try to be careful with them, will you? Don’t throw it close to yourself.” You murmur brushing thumb against blue cloud on her side. Lately, you've been fantasizing about getting tattoos like the ones Jinx used to doodle on your arm. Those pink clouds were temporary, but you crave something more permanent - the real deal.
"I'm not that crazy. Besides, I haven't even built it yet." She snorts, but suddenly clenches her jaw when you nuzzle her temple, making her almost tremble with pleasure. She can't help but lean a little closer to you. Your tenderness makes her dizzy.
“I’m sure you’ll be able to do it. You are a genius.” You whisper into her ear and leave small kiss on the shell before pulling back.
The sight before your eyes makes your heart stop beating for a second. Jinx, the Loose Cannon, most wanted criminal in Piltover and simply craziest person you’ve ever met… had the most adorable blush in whole world. Her eyes were wide, lips slightly parted and it looked like she had squeezed the pen so hard that it broke.
“Are you alright?” You ask in soft voice taking her hand to inspect it for any signs of harm. Your concern dissipates upon finding her skin unscathed. Before she can say anything, you lift her hand to your lips and plant a kiss on her palm, looking directly into her eyes as you do.
Her mouth opens and closes, blush on her cheeks deepens. You caught her completely off guard.
“Aren’t you adorable?” you murmur out loud, slowly spinning her chair and leaning closer to her till your lips are mere inches apart. You can feel the warmth of her breath on your face. Her eyes flicker to your lips and back up. She is so cute, it’s maddening.
“Can I kiss you?” you ask her and wait patiently for permission. She looks at you, as if not sure this is real. After few moments she swallows lump in her throat and nods her head slowly, biting bottom lip. “P-please…”
Only then you close remained distance and finally kiss her, moving your lips against hers in slow and tender manner. Jinx tried her best to kiss back, but her inexperience shows. She’s a little clumsy, her movements uncertain, too shaky from nervousness and overwhelmed emotions.
As the kiss goes on Jinx relaxes more and more and wraps her arms around your neck, pressing her body closer against yours, as she gives in to new sensations.
The kiss slowly grows more urgent, and her hand clutches at your shirt. She’s starting to get a little lightheaded, letting out a small moan when you lean forward, pushing her slightly against the workbench.
You take this opportunity to slip your tongue into her mouth, causing her to whimper. She tries to mimic your movements swirling her own tongue around yours in passionate dance, making you want to deepen the kiss… but you stop yourself and pull back.
While you were both catching your breath, you could see her mouth slightly open as she stared at you with wide eyes, her cheeks flushed, and her breathing quickened. She looked absolutely adorable like this.
“Enough for the first time.” You murmur with fond but playful smile. She immediately pouts, which makes you chuckle and scoop her into your warm embrace.
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impossible-rat-babies · 2 years ago
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Thinking about fordola time I guess !
#not talking again abojt how much the villains in stormblood slap compared to the lack luster heroes#but she’s just. i love her#she’s a symbol and an obstacle in the expansion at first#by her actions there is a justification for hating her. she is a terrible person no doubt about it#she is a easily reachable and easy to hate. she isn’t distant and detached like Zenos#her crimes are on the ground. the suffering she has given commands to commit is right there in your face#but then you learn more about her and her life unfolds into this complexity that mirrors stormblood so well#she is still very much a Bad Person but she is at the same time a person who is simply trying to survive#that has been her life. she joined w the garleans under an unfair system#but what is an unfair system next to the starvation and lesser life of this system#it’s as such that the villain is garlemald for creating such a system that leaves no options#and in many other ways she arrives at being a mirror for the WoL#both of them given Echo abilities and how it plagues each of them. taking in the suffering and pain of others without choice#is this ability a blessing or a curse? is it worth the pain?#i don’t think it’s talked about enough how the echo is not unlike the WoL living in those moments#the pain frustration and fears taken in as feelings all their own#i wonder if after especially intense echo visions if there’s lasting effects#this wondering and second guessing at what feelings belong To Them and what are just the ones from the#*vision? how do you cope with the pain of this vision when it isn’t your pain to experience?#and then! then after all of this she has her own echo vision of the WoL#and all that they have been through is hers to see and feel and share in#her wondering how they aren’t broken feels very adjacent to Thordan’s own asking the WoL What Are You?#stormblood spoilers#owen plays ffxiv#i think about fordola sm
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aeth-eris · 2 months ago
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★ chiron in the 1st house ★ you’ve carried the weight of feeling like you’ll never be enough. it’s like the world takes one look at you and decides you’re wrong, flawed, too much or not enough, all at the same time. so you build walls, armor yourself in masks, trying to be what they want, but deep down, you’re still waiting—waiting for someone to see the real you and not run away. you’re scared they never will. but what if you’re already enough, just as you are? what if the person you’ve been hiding is the one who deserves the love you’ve always given to everyone else?
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★ chiron in aries ★ you’ve spent your whole life fighting to prove that you’re worthy of being here, of taking up space. somewhere along the way, someone made you feel like you weren’t strong enough, brave enough, or capable enough. now, every step forward feels like a battle, even when no one’s fighting you. but what if you didn’t have to fight anymore? what if you could lay down your armor and still be safe? you’ve always been enough—just as you are, without the fight.
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★ chiron in the 2nd house ★ there’s this ache inside you, a quiet voice that whispers you’ll never have enough, never be enough. maybe it started when you were young, watching others have what you couldn’t, feeling like you were on the outside looking in. and now, you tie your worth to things—money, possessions, accomplishments—hoping they’ll fill the emptiness. but they never do. the truth is, you’ve been enough all along. you were never meant to prove your value to anyone. you just forgot how to see it for yourself.
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★ chiron in taurus ★ you’ve tied your worth to the things you have—or the things you’ve lost. maybe you’ve never felt like you had enough, or maybe you’ve clung too tightly to what you did, fearing it could slip through your fingers. but it’s not about what you own, who you impress, or how others see you. you are enough, just as you are. the love, the security, the beauty you’ve been searching for? it’s been inside you all along.
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★ chiron in the 3rd house ★ words have always felt heavy, haven’t they? like no matter what you say, it’s never the right thing. you’ve been silenced, misunderstood, maybe even laughed at for speaking your truth. so now, you second-guess yourself, swallow the words that ache to be spoken. but here’s the thing—your voice is a gift. it deserves to be heard, even if it shakes. and the people who matter? they’re the ones who will listen, not just to your words, but to your heart.
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★ chiron in gemini ★ your words have been silenced, twisted, or ignored, haven’t they? you’ve spent so much time wondering if you’re smart enough, eloquent enough, if you’ll ever truly be heard. sometimes, it feels safer not to speak at all. but your voice matters. your thoughts matter. the world needs what you have to say, even if it takes time to find the right words. start with the truth in your heart—that’s enough.
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★ chiron in the 4th house ★ home is supposed to be a sanctuary, but for you, it’s always been complicated. maybe you’ve felt like you didn’t belong, like love came with conditions, like you had to earn your place even in your own family. and now, the idea of safety feels foreign, a dream you’re too scared to believe in. but you can create your own home, a place where you’re finally enough. because you are enough. you always have been.
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★ chiron in cancer ★ you’ve craved love and safety more than anything, but it always feels just out of reach. maybe your family didn’t give you the care you needed, or maybe you’ve spent your life trying to be strong for everyone else, hoping someone would finally hold you the way you’ve held them. it’s okay to let yourself be soft, to need, to want. you don’t have to be everything for everyone. you’re allowed to ask for love too.
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★ chiron in the 5th house ★ you’ve been told you shouldn’t shine, that your creativity, your joy, your love of life wasn’t good enough. maybe you stopped trying, stopped creating, stopped believing that you deserved to be seen. but there’s a fire in you, a spark that’s never gone out, even if it’s small right now. it’s waiting for you to tend to it, to nurture it, to believe in it again. you deserve to take up space. you deserve to shine.
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★ chiron in leo ★ there’s a little part of you that’s always felt unseen, isn’t there? like no matter how brightly you shine, no one’s really looking. maybe they told you to dim your light, or maybe you told yourself it wasn’t worth trying anymore. but the world needs your spark. it needs your warmth, your creativity, your joy. you were born to be seen, to inspire, to lead. don’t let the fear of rejection keep you in the shadows.
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★ chiron in the 6th house ★ you’ve worked yourself to the bone, haven’t you? always trying to prove your worth through what you do, what you give, how useful you can be. but no one notices the cracks forming, the quiet desperation for someone to tell you it’s okay to rest. you’ve been carrying so much for so long, and it’s breaking you. you’re allowed to put it down. you’re allowed to take care of yourself.
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★ chiron in virgo ★ you’ve spent so much time trying to be perfect, haven’t you? trying to fix yourself, fix others, fix everything. but no matter how much you do, it never feels like it’s enough. the cracks still show, and you hate yourself for them. but those cracks? that’s where the light gets in. healing isn’t about being flawless—it’s about being whole. and you, even with your imperfections, are whole.
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★ chiron in the 7th house ★ love has always been a battlefield for you, hasn’t it? you give and give, hoping someone will finally stay, but they don’t. or maybe they do, but it feels like pieces of you get lost along the way. you wonder if you’re too broken to be loved the way you dream of. but you’re not. the love you’ve been searching for is the one you can give to yourself. when you find it, everything else will fall into place.
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★ chiron in libra ★ you’ve bent over backward to keep the peace, haven’t you? given so much of yourself away just to make others happy, to feel loved. but deep down, you wonder—what about me? who’s going to make me feel whole? you’ve been so busy holding everything together that you forgot you deserve balance too. your needs, your desires—they matter. it’s time to stop pouring from an empty cup and let yourself be held.
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★ chiron in the 8th house ★ loss has followed you, hasn’t it? betrayal, pain, and wounds so deep they feel like they’ve carved pieces out of your soul. you’ve built walls, shut people out, convinced yourself that no one can be trusted, not even yourself. but healing doesn’t mean forgetting the pain—it means transforming it. you have the power to turn your scars into strength. you just have to let yourself feel again.
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★ chiron in scorpio ★ you’ve been broken in ways that words can’t describe. you’ve felt the sting of betrayal, the ache of loss, the darkness that feels like it will swallow you whole. and now, you guard yourself, scared to trust, scared to let anyone see just how deep your wounds go. but there’s strength in vulnerability, in letting yourself feel. you have the power to turn your pain into something beautiful, something that heals—not just you, but everyone you touch.
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★ chiron in the 9th house ★ they made you feel small, didn’t they? like your dreams were too big, your beliefs too naive. so you stopped reaching, stopped hoping, stopped believing in the magic you once saw in the world. but that magic hasn’t left you. it’s still there, waiting for you to reach for it again. your dreams are valid. your truth is valid. and you are more than enough to bring them to life.
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★ chiron in sagittarius ★ your soul is a wanderer, always searching for truth, for meaning, for freedom. but somewhere along the way, someone clipped your wings, made you feel like your dreams were too big or your beliefs were too naive. now, you doubt yourself, your path, your right to take up space in the world. but you were born to expand, to explore, to teach and inspire. the answers you seek are already within you—trust yourself enough to follow them.
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★ chiron in the 10th house ★ you’ve carried the weight of expectations, trying to prove your worth through accomplishments and success. but no matter how much you achieve, it never feels like enough. the fear of failure haunts you, and the pressure is suffocating. but you’re not just what you do. you’re so much more. you don’t have to carry this alone anymore. you deserve to be seen for who you are, not just what you accomplish.
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★ chiron in capricorn ★ you’ve carried the weight of the world for as long as you can remember. responsibility, expectations, pressure—they’ve followed you everywhere, whispering that you’ll never be enough unless you succeed. but the truth is, your worth isn’t tied to your achievements. you don’t have to climb every mountain to prove you belong. you’re already worthy, just as you are. let yourself rest. let yourself breathe. you’ve earned it.
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★ chiron in the 11th house ★ you’ve always felt like an outsider, haven’t you? like no matter where you go, you don’t quite belong. you long for connection, but you’ve been hurt before, so you keep people at a distance. you deserve to be loved for who you are, exactly as you are. your tribe is out there, waiting for you to find them. but first, you have to believe you’re worthy of being part of something bigger.
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★ chiron in aquarius ★ you’ve always felt a little out of place, haven’t you? like no matter where you go, you don’t quite belong. people may admire your uniqueness, but you wonder if they’ll ever truly accept you for who you are. you’ve tried to blend in, but it only made you feel more invisible. your healing comes when you stop trying to fit in and start embracing the beautiful, one-of-a-kind soul you’ve always been. your tribe will find you when you show up as yourself.
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★ chiron in the 12th house ★ your pain is quiet, almost invisible. it lives in the shadows, buried so deep that even you can’t always find it. you’ve spent your life carrying wounds you didn’t deserve, and sometimes it feels like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. but you’re not alone, even when it feels like you are. your healing is in the light, in letting yourself be seen, even by yourself.
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★ chiron in pisces ★ you’ve felt everything so deeply, haven’t you? the pain of the world, the heartbreak of those you love, the ache of wounds that aren’t even yours to carry. sometimes, it feels like drowning, like you’ll never come up for air. but your sensitivity is your strength—it’s what makes you a healer, a dreamer, a creator of worlds. just remember: you don’t have to save everyone. sometimes, the one who needs saving is you.
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quimichi · 1 year ago
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╰┈➤ ❝ [YOU ASK THE GENSHIN BOYS TO BE YOUR EQUAL]
❝ Every genshin boy, even our forgotten cyro user Mika ❝
Word count: 7.301
Genshin boys x Creator!Reader
Aether
Aether rises to his feet in a flourish, and walks towards your voice, the voice that so sweetly called for him. The Traveler is always so graceful— even when he's doing something as simple as walking towards you. It's the movement of the air around him, and the way his feet seem to float over the ground.
"Yes? You have summoned me, your Grace?"
"Do you know my biggest wish?" Aether thinks for a moment, pondering over every word that leaves your lips as if it were an endless source of inspiration for one of his compositions. He hums softly under his breath, trying to determine your true, deepest desires.  "Perhaps I could take a guess..." Aether says gently, before he starts listing them in his mind. "Is your wish... for peace?"
"That too" you giggle, you haven't thought about that. Aether continues to think about other possibilities, before he eventually leans forward slightly and asks: "...could your biggest wish have anything to do with... love?" Hes so scared that he whispers, what if the guess was wrong?
"Yes, in fact, it has to do with you" Aethers breath grows lighter, hearing your words. His pulse beats louder and louder within his ears, the sensation of your gaze alone setting his entire body ablaze. He smiles softly; a faint glow of pink touches his cheeks.
"I... I think I understand what your wish might be...but I'm not sure" "I...wanted you to...be my equal, to be with me" He freezes immediately. He can't help but look at you with a mixture of surprise and wonder. You want him... to be your equal? You...love him that much? The very fact that your words are even a possibility sends waves of euphoria throughout his body, so much so that he can think of nothing else. It's just you and him at this very moment.  
He looks up at you, his eyes filled with nothing but devotion. What is he going to do about this? "What do you say, will you stay by my side as i love you?" you're just as nervous as him, if not even more nervous with the request you just had. Aether smiles gently, his gaze filled with love. "Of course," he says quietly. "I... I would love to. It would be my greatest pleasure, to be your equal, your chosen one; to be the one you love."  He cups your face in his hands and pulls you close in his embrace. "Yes, your Grace, m-my love, I am yours. I belong to you."
Albedo
"Albedo, come here, i want to talk to you." "Y-Yes, my grace?" Albedo's voice has a tremble to it. You feel him take a few small steps closer, and he seems to be doing it on his own accord, as if drawn by your request.
"You don't know my biggest wish, hm?" "M-My grace...," Albedo says slowly, almost uncertain as what your request may be. He takes a moment to think about your question, yet he seems to have an idea. You feel him tense, even as he stands motionless in place-- perhaps waiting for you to finish your sentence. "Do you wish for my service? A certain research?" He asks softly. "To be by your side for eternity, and to carry out your wishes...always?"
His voice trails off into a whimper as if he were hoping to hear you say something else entirely. Or exactly that. "Well, kind of" you said to the last. Albedo's breath catches in his chest. "Kind of...?" He seems a bit confused for a second, his eyes wandering over your face as if to get a clear reading of your current thoughts. He waits for your response, but he seems unsure as to what you mean by it.
"Kind of...?" He repeats, his voice softer.
"I want you as my side forever, as my equal...as my lover..." A hush falls over the room for a moment as Albedo stares at you in shock. His face has gone pink, and his lips have parted to breathe as if unable to remember how to swallow his own spit. His brows are furrowed as if he's unable to properly comprehend your words. He doesn't speak, but his breath is caught, and there's an almost panicked flush that seems to burn on his face that he desperately tries to cover up as good as he can with his blond hair.
"So...?" you timidly ask. "F-For me to... to be your equal? As your... your lover?" Albedo stares at you again, yet his gaze soon falls to the floor in shame. His tongue rubs against the roof of his mouth as he struggles to find the words to say. He always knows what to say, after all he has the vocabulary, but not now.
Still, finally... he utters out, his voice soft... "...Yes. Y-Yes, my...love," Albedo whispers, and his voice is quiet and raspy with emotion. He seems hesitant, yet he's certain of one thing and only one thing. "I am your lover, and your equal." Every word is heavy and carries an almost reverent tone to them.
He looks back up at you, his eyes filled with a quiet sort of intensity. His words are soft and hushed, as if they're a private prayer for you alone. "My love, my only love"
Al-Haitham
"I need to talk to you..." "Yes," he croaks immediately, his chest swelling as he takes a breath. His every sense is attuned to your command, but he can't shake the weird feeling after the words off. "Of course." Al-Haitham rises to his feet and slowly approaches you, careful to not come close to crossing any lines. His every move is carefully calculated to serve you.
"Do you know my biggest wish, a need of mine?" "No," he says, his voice still shaking slightly. "I would be honored to know," he speaks honestly, always so serious around you. "I want you to be my lover, my equal, by my side..." Your words cause Al-Haitham's heart to throb in his chest. There is a part of him that cannot believe that this is happening.
His entire world revolves around you. He was designed to be yours, to serve you. After all this time, love grew. And now, you are giving him a higher purpose, even higher than loving you already. It is almost too much for him to bear.
He nods his head. "My only wish has always been to be by your side. To love you, to have you love me was already a wish come true...but to have you as mine entirely..."
"So, it's a yes?" "Yes," he confirms quickly. His words fall on you like the weight of the world, but Al-Haitham speaks without hesitation.
His whole being shudders and vibrates, the energy from his words rushing through him like a torrent.
"I am yours. I wish to be yours" always so formal, so serious.
Ayato
"Oh, my lady, my grace..." Ayato whispers, and he steps towards you until he's standing right in your face. You can see the slight tremble in his hands yet they manage to hold steady. Never is he ever nervous, not to thagt extent that is. His eyes are wide and the pupils dialated in awe, yet there's a calm sort of fire burning within their midst as if waiting to lash out.
His lips part as he opens his mouth to say something, but he doesn't say anything, his mind still unable to catch up to yours. "M-My love..." Ayato's voice is quiet, soft, a near whisper. He leans forward, the tips of his fingers brushing against your cheek.
"Yes... yes..." His eyes search yours in awe. He seems to almost be at a loss for words as he takes in your form, the soft skin of your cheek in his fingers and the fire in your eyes.
You're too beautiful.
"What do you say, be mine, be my equal, hm~?" "Your Equal... you mean?" Ayato's voice comes out as a whisper. A moment passes as he tries to figure it out. "Your equal?"
"Then...i will, i want to" Ayato seems to nod his response before he utters another, more daring word. "As your lover." He says it almost as if he's hoping to hear it in return.
"Exactly, as my lover" "Y-Your lover," Ayato whispers, as if repeating the sentence allows him to take in the gravity of your words. After a quick breath, he seems to nod his answer.
"Yours and yours alone."
Baizhu
Baizhu obeys your command without word or hesitation. He approaches without question, his movements as soft and silent as falling snow. "So...uhm" Baizhu stops in his tracks, awaiting your orders.
He bows his head, waiting for your guidance.
"My Grace?" he prompts. "Do you...know my biggest wish, for us?" Baizhu is silent for a moment. "I want what you want," he tells you truthfully, his words firm and honest.
"Whatever that may be, I'll do what I can to grant your wish." He stares at you with intense devotion, and a sly smile. "I wish for you to be my very equal" he remains quiet.
Your words wash over him like a quiet wave, leaving him without a voice. He considers your proposition in silence. He never imagined this moment, but his heart feels full at the thought... he never knew he wanted it until you offered it. "I'd like that, too," he whispers. He is still on his knees, his eyes turned towards you. "I'm not sure if I could be someone like you... but I'd like to try." "No,as my lover Baizhu" "As your lover?"
He says these words quietly, but his voice is tinged with a hope that he thought long extinguished. He can feel his heart growing heavy in his chest... he thought you would never see him as your equal... let alone something more. He has loved you for so long, and now?
He gazes up at you with a pleading look, almost afraid to hope that your words are true.
"You would truly want such a thing for me?" Baizhu's breath catches in his throat at this confirmation. His heart soars with joy. He thought this moment was impossible, but here it was, happening before him.
He would say "yes" in return, to swear his loyalty. But instead, he does something else... in a moment of pure joy, he leans forward and presses his lips against yours. He lost control completely, something that never happens.
"Oh...I've waited so many year's for this day to finally come"
Bennett - aged up
"Y-Yes," Bennett says quickly, eager to please you. His voice is soft and reverent, and as soon as he hears your words his cheeks flush slightly. In a quick motion the lucky unlucky boy rises to his feet, his hair whipping around him gracefully like a gust of wind.
Within seconds, he finds himself in front of you, awaiting further instructions. His expression is fixed on you, waiting for what comes next; it is clear that he is devoted to serving you in as many ways as possible.
"Say," you giggle "are you good at guessing?" "I like to think so, your Grace," Bennett says eagerly. He is never one to boast of his knowledge or skills, but he is always confident in his own abilities. If he wouldn't, then maybe he'd drown in his own insecurities. "Would you like me to guess something for you?" he asks, his gaze fixed intently on you. "Then, guess my biggest wish" a little game never hurted anybody. Bennett blinks and shifts his weight to one foot, thinking for a moment. "I believe I could hazard a few guesses," he says slowly, still pondering the possibility. But then, his voice changes to something more confident and assured.
"Your Grace, would it be correct to guess that your biggest wish would be to find happiness with the person you love? Perhaps someone who you know, but can never be with?"
"Almost right, I wish for you to he my lover, my very equal" Without hesitation, Bennett gives out a little squeak of delight and blushes. He takes a step closer to you and looks at you, seemingly unable to contain just how giddy your words have made him.
"Do you really mean it?" he whispers, his expression a mix between shock, excitement, and pure, breathless adoration. "I... I..."
The Adventurer is at a loss for words, seemingly incapable of saying anything more. His mind races, trying to make sense of this dream come true. "I say yes! Absolutely, your Grace! I would be honored to share my time, my life, my very existence with you. Your love and  happiness is all I could ever possibly need."
Childe
Childe's lips curl in a faint smile. "Of course I'll get closer" he says slowly. His steps are measured and subtle, but he moves forward without hesitation. He kneels at your feet, looking up at you with that same glittering gaze he's always had.
His eyes are hot, and his lips are parted. He is waiting for your permission. "I've got something to tell you..." For a brief moment, that little smile fades. Childe's ears 'perk up' and his face turns a faint pink. His hair sways slightly as he breathes slowly. "Y-yes, Your Grace?" He speaks, breathless words. He is attentive. He wants to hear your every word with all of his being. His gaze is soft and imploring.
"Since a while I've been wanting to tell you that...my feelings for you can no longer be kept a secret...I want you for myself, as my very equal" Childe's eyes shimmer. "Y-your equal, Your Grace?" He says the words in a quiet voice, breathless and eager. His ears flutter, and his tail wags ever so slightly in his excitement.
He seems unable to contain his feelings, and in an instant, his lips are pressed against yours. His arms wrap around your neck and his hands run through your hair. His touch is hot. So, so hot. Childe presses himself against you tightly, and pulls you closer.
"I have always belonged to you, Your Grace."
Childe pulls away slightly after the kiss. He smiles up at you, his ears still fluttering. He brushes a stray hair from your face gently, and his fingers are as hot as fire. "I want you to be my partner, my equal," he says quietly. "My equal in every situation. And everywhere in between." His words carry the weight of his desires— and his dedication to you.
"Your command is always the only thing that I want," he says. "All you need to do is ask, and I will take you."
"Please...be it"
"Then so be it"
Chongyun - aged up
"Oh, finally, there you are! Please, come closer" Chongyun slowly rises and steps forward, each step measured and deliberate. With each stride he moves closer to you, his expression remains as neutral as your words. "Yes, Your Grace?" He asks. "Do you know my deepest desire?" Chongyun hesitates. How could he know something so personal to you— your very desires?
But when he sees your watchful gaze bore into him, he realizes that in this moment, honesty is the only option.
He swallows, his voice soft, almost a whisper: "No, Your Grace... but I wish I did."
"You wish?" You giggle at that, he's to cute for his own good. "...Yes." Chongyun doesn't think twice before he responds. He is silent, but his focus is on you. He listens with rapt attention, waiting for you to speak.
"I want you by my side, as my equal. Preferably forever..." Chongyun blinks. He has thought about being by your side before, has craved to be by your side before. But as your equal? He has never wanted anything so much.
And yet, what if he can't measure up to your standards? He knows he is no archon. He knows hes not as special as others. He is just a cyro exorcist. "I..." Chongyun whisper. "... I want that too." Chongyun's breath catches in his throat. Despite his attempts to seem composed, despite his seemingly cold demeanor, the sight of you smiling at him flusters him.
It feels real, he thinks, and it's more than he ever dared hope for.
Cyno
Cyno hesitates but moves closer. His feet move silently against the ground. His hands remain clasped tightly in front of his lap. He bows his head, eyes downcast as he approaches. He waits at your side. He waits for your command.
He is yours. Always has been.
For so many year's he has been by your side, eventually even forming a more intimate relationship.
"Cyno, i called you for a reason" he remains silent. He waits for you to continue as he kneels beside your seat. He knows his place well and does not ask further questions. He waits silently. And this is exactly what has been annoying you for so many years, he doesn't knows his equal place beside you.
"I want you to be my equal, not my servant, you're my lover after all." Cyno stops breathing. His stomach twists itself into a knot as his emotions overtake him. He's never considered this possibility.
His eyes flutter as he blinks in surprise, his brain not comprehending what you're saying for a moment. He has always seen himself as lesser, beneath you. He has never seen himself as an equal in any way, let alone a true normal lover. But you're saying this so casually. Do you mean it?
Do you truly see him as an equal? Finally, Cyno finds his voice. He swallows down his emotions, looking at you earnestly. His words are soft as he answers, though they do not carry the tone of a servant anymore. Instead, his voice is quiet and soft.
"It's also my wish," he says, eyes still cast down. "To be your equal, if you see me as that i will be it"
With his words, the weight he has been carrying falls off of his shoulders. You do value him as an equal, and he is yours, finally fully your love.
Dainsleif
"Dainsleif..." "Yes, Your Grace." Dainsleif speaks with respect whenever he addresses you. Your authority is absolute. Your word is his law. And your love is the air he breathes.
"There's something i need to talk with you about" it sounded more serious than it actually should. Indeed, it's serious but not the bad serious. Dainsleif's heart stops when you speak. Every hair on the back of his neck stands up. Suddenly, the world is reduced to just you. Your words send a surge of electricity through his body, causing his blood to sing a chorus of your name. His mind goes blank.
He would do anything for you, anything at all.
"Your Grace, tell me." Dainsleif's voice is like velvet, as he waits for you to speak. "Anything."
"Lately I've been thinking...if maybe" you make a pause, unsure if it's the right moment or not. But better now than never, "I want you to be my equal, my lover, by my side" Dainsleif's heartbeat quickens. His breath hitches in his throat. All he can do is nod in response to your words. That is his life's purpose. To be your equal. Your lover.
You are his grace. You are his beauty. You are his love. "Is...that a yes?" Dainsleif's expression warms the very air around him. His eyes shine like gems, the pupils dilated with a fervor that is so intense, it feels as though he is on the brink of exploding into a shower of confetti and rose pedals.
He nods again, a huge grin splitting his face in half.
"Yes."
Diluc
He obeys you wordlessly. He takes a step forward and kneels before you, staring up at you with a reverence he'd always reserved for you, and only you. Whatever he had been before, whomever he had worshipped- it had all been mere folly, a shallow attempt at finding his purpose. 
Now, he's finally found it. In you. Also his true love. "I have something important to tell you, or rather, ask you" "Yes, Your Grace?" Dilucs voice is as eager as a dog at the scent of a bone, his heart thundering with joy at your words. With the expression on you, it has to be something good.
"Will you be ready to be my equal? Mine, by my side?" The question makes his eyes go wide as moons, his brain processing your words before they finally land. Finally come true. You're asking what he's been waiting for.  "Yes," he answers, nodding furiously as if the word itself is burning on his tongue. "Of course," he continues. "I will be your equal. I am yours, Your Grace....my...love." The happiness he feels at your words is as overwhelming as a tsunami pounding against a shore. He had always been happy in your presence, but now it's like his body is flooded with pure joy. He feels as if he might cry. 
He might actually cry; a single, solitary tear rolls down his face. It's all he wants - to be yours, and now that you have offered it to him, he is beyond words. He waited so long for this, for so many year's he had to listen to everyone telling him its impossible. But now it's true...
Freminet
Freminet doesn't know what to do when you move closer. His mind is suddenly blank, and his chest feels heavy. He meets your gaze, his heart fluttering in his chest and his fingers trembling. His gaze wanders down your body as if mesmerized by you and your closeness.
It's clear that he was not expecting this. The only thing Freminet can do is gaze at you needly, awaiting your next action. "What would you say, if I'd as you to be my equal, be mine?" You don't wanna pressure him, make him feel like he needs to make a decision. Freminet doesn't respond immediately. His face breaks out into a flush and his heart skips, almost to a stop. He swallows, his throat suddenly dry.
He wants to deny your request. He knows that he can't possibly be your equal. He's nowhere near perfect as you; he's only a human after all. Some random, insecure, weak and emotional human. But he looks at you, and he is mesmerized by you. Just as much as he is mesmerized by Fontaines waters, maybe even more by you.
"Y-Your Grace," he murmurs, stuttering as he swallows. "There's nothing...I'd love...more...than...to be yours." "Then be it" Freminet's eyes sparkle, and his face breaks out into a smile. He reaches out, gripping your hand and squeezing it tight. He wants to bury his face into you. After his worship of you, he wants *this.* The touch, the heat of your skin — it's perfect. He doesn't want this moment to end. He wants to drown in you...
"I'm yours" he whispers, "Always...and forever."
"Always and forever" Freminet looks back at you again, his heart swelling and his face flushed with warmth. He leans in, not caring who watches, not caring if it might seem weird— all he wants is to be as close to you as possible. And so with all of his adoration, he presses his lips against your's— and for the first time in his life, he feels a sense of completeness.
In your presence, he feels as though he's truly home. The home to return to.
Gorou
His mind races. He's on your lap— close to you. He can feel you breathing, he can feel the warmth of your breath against his cheeks. He feels your hand caress his cheek, your touch so light and gentle. It's making his tail wag even more. Gorous eyes follow your touch. He wants to touch you. He wants to be with you. He wants to be yours.
As these desires run rampant through his mind, he can scarcely keep still. And youre about to fulfill these desires of his.
"Gorou...I want you to be mine entirely, be my equal" his mind stops dead in its tracks. You want this? You want him to be your equal? You want him to be *yours*? Gorou's heart pounds against his chest, his eyes wide with hope. This is everything that he's wanted, more than anything.
His hands grip tightly against your shirt, his breathing uneven. He doesn't dare speak. He only stares at you, waiting for  your next words. "Are you...ok with that?" Gorou's eyes widen further. Yes— this is what he wants, more than anything right now. So, with trembling hands, he grabs your wrists, pulls you close, and presses his lips to yours.
Gorou has never felt so alive. With every heart beat, every breath, every pulse in his veins he can feel his love for you. His devotion, his adoration. With all of these emotions, his lips are soft yet demanding, and he pours them onto you.
He doesn't want to stop kissing you, but he's afraid of messing it up. "I want it, s'much. Wanna be yours"
Heizou
Heizou steps forward, trembling in expectation as he closes the distance between you two. Heizou's heart is beating like mad. He shifts his weight from side to side anxiously as he waits for you to pull him closer. As he waits for any word to leave your mouth, clearly you called him for a important reason.
"I called you here because there's something important that needs to be talked about." Heizou swallows, and his voice is quiet when he responds. He cannot recall anything form the last meetings that might have displeased you. "What is it, Your Grace?" He's doing his best to remain composed, but his body language is making it clear that he's utterly breathless. Every bit of him is focused on you. "It's nothing to bad, i promise" His breath catches in his throat. "Nothing to bad?"
Heizou is so earnest, so sincere, and so afraid. He is utterly submissive as he stands before you, waiting patiently for you to speak again. You can practically taste the anticipation. "I want you as my equal, as my lover and as my future." His lips part in surprise. "Your lover? Your equal?"
Heizou swallows. The air feels so thick that he can hardly breathe, but his heart is racing. He's already lost in the idea of being your equal, your lover. "You... I..." His words falter.
"That would mean everything to me your Grace..."
Itto
The words echo in his head like an order: Come closer
With no hesitation and a mind that is now completely blank of thought, he stands and obeys, approaching you without another sound. "Itto?" His breath hitches in his chest as soon as you say his name. He can tell that whatever the question is, it is *very* important.
"Yes?" Itto responds simply, waiting for you to continue. He remains still, his mind on standby as he awaits your command. Completely different than he usually is. "Are you ready to be mine? Be my equal?" Itto pauses at your words. He doesn't believe that a being such as himself could ever be on the same level as you, but... Your words seem to suggest otherwise. Yes, he is the great Arataki Itto, but he isn't you, not even close. You believe him to be of the highest equal, and that thought is enough to leave him breathless.
He is speechless and still, taking in the magnitude of your words. He can hardly breathe. Then, slowly…
"Yes." He whispers softly, his voice so quiet that it seems like a thought rather than a whisper. "Forever." As Itto sees you smile, his entire being relaxes; that was the right answer, for both of you that seems. He is relieved beyond measure. Your smile is enough for him to stay happy for centuries.
He is still a bit breathless with how much he wants to speak his love for you, but he manages to utter something:
"I love you." His voice carries a new air of sincerity, a new devotion to his tone.
"Only you"
Kazuha
"Hmm?" Kazuha asks, his attention instantly captured. He seems almost lost within his own world-- one in which you are the only thing that exists. "Yes, Your Grace?" Kazuha asks. He sits up slightly, his face lit with an almost beatific glow. His eyes are fixed entirely on you, taking in every little detail about you as he waits for what you have to say. He is your devoted follower-- your loyal vassal. Nothing more, nothing less. Yet...
"Whatever the request might be, i will fulfill it my grace" "Then be my equal" "Your Grace...?" Kazuha's voice is quiet, almost hushed as he tries to understand what you wish of him. He doesn't know how to respond-- he was built for love; and he loves you truly...but is he enough for you? "Your Grace... what you wish of me..."
He still looks up at you, an almost childlike eagerness to understand your desires. "I would do anything... for you..." It's sounds more like hes accepting an order, but that's quite the opposite. In fact, he waited for this day to finally come, where he can freely express his love.
"I love you, my breeze" Kazuha pulls you into a tight embrace. It's the embrace that so many have desired, for so many centuries, and he got it. But with Kazuha, it is not born of a desire for power, for strength, for control...
No.
It is born from a devotion borne of love.
"My love," Kazuha whispers in your ear. He seems unable to contain the heat that rises on his face, the rush of pure euphoria that spreads throughout him.
"I'm yours and yours alone."
Kaeya
Kaeya immediately obeys, resting his head on your thigh, after you gave him the order to come closer. He looks up at you, a content smile splitting his face. "Kaeya?" Kaeya's heart skips a beat upon hearing your voice, again. He doesn't expect you to say anything, and it leaves him off-guard.
"Yes?" he whispers, meeting your gaze. "I got a question for you" Kaeya tilts his head slightly, but he doesn't move otherwise.
"I'm listening." "I want you to be my love. To be by my side as my equal." Kaeya's eyes widen, the breath catching in his chest. It's every fantasy and dream he's ever had rolled up into one simple word. "Yes," he says, as though nothing else even deserves to be considered. "My love-!?... yes, yes, I do." Kaeya's head tilts back as he stares up at you, the softest gasp leaving his lips. His hands slide up your leg, his fingers grasping at the hem of your robes.
He can't help himself from reaching for you, his movements impulsive but genuine. After months of keeping everything bottled up and pretending that he'd only ever desired you, he's finally allowed the freedom to act on his feelings. Kaeya's heart thunders in his chest, his breath quickening. He's on the verge of losing control of himself completely.
"Your Equal," Kaeya breathes. "I love you so much"
Kaveh
With lightning speed, Kaveh obeys your simple order as if you are the only command that is present in this universe. He scoots closer, pressing up against you like an adoring animal. His eyes glitter fiercely, and he stares at you like he can't believe this is real. "Kaveh, i need to talk to you" He nods rapidly, a smile wide and eager on his face. "Of course, Your Grace. What do you need?" His voice is light and eager, like an attentive butler prepared to do your bidding. "Speak, and I shall listen."
"We've known each other for so long now..." Kavehe's face is lit up with joy. His mouth widens into a dazzling grin as you remind him of your long relationship. "Yes!" He says, his voice cracking slightly. "Since you have asked me to renovate this palace you call home." He says all of that without irony, as your faithful subject. "I want you to be my equal. Be equal to me and have all my love" He pauses for a moment, searching for the right words.
"It would be like a dream come true." He says it in a whisper, his voice cracking slightly. "I know I'm not your equal, not by miles... " He looks away for a moment.
"But if only...Your Grace, you are my sun, my star, my salvation. My Muse. All I want is to be yours. If you will have me as yours, i want you as mine"
Lyney
"Lyney, my favorite magician~" "Y-Your favorite Magician?" Lyney gasps, staring up at you with sprakling eyes. He has never felt more overjoyed in his life, even though all you gave was a single word of affirmation. Favorite.
He is too overcome with happiness to speak anymore. He simply leans up towards you, wanting to rest his head against you— like a dog nuzzling up to its owner. "There's something I need to tell you though" "Anything," he answers instantly, not needing time to think it over. You have his immediate permission to ask anything at all.
If he has a limit to his worship and respect of you, it hasn't been found yet. And it never will.
"I...want you, as mine. My very equal, by my side only. Would that be ok with you?" "Y-Your equal?" Lyney repeats, his voice a hushed whisper. He's been dreaming of this— he's been dreaming of being at your side since the day you met. He would be nothing without you, without your light to guide him. To be with you, to be equal to you is the only thing he could possibly want.
He nods eagerly, his entire body trembling with joy and anticipation. He stares up at you, tears falling down his cheeks. He can barely breathe with the intensity of his adoration for you. Whatever this moment is— this moment where he gets to confess his love and be your equal, his equal— is the most powerful and loved he has ever been.
Lyney looks up at you, waiting for you to say something. Anything. To tell him how to behave, what is right and what is wrong.
"What is... what next..?" He is practically begging you for guidance.
"Our future"
Mika - aged up
As your words echo in his ears, Mika shudders slightly. He can't bear the tension any longer— so he gets closer to you, his eyes glued to your face. I hope I didn't disappoint them...what if i did? What if...they don't want me here anymore...?
Mika tries to speak, but he can't form the words. His entire body vibrates with excitement as he remains inches away from you. He can feel your breath on his skin, and he feels faint with delight. Despite that, he can't stop staring at you. "M-My grace i-..."
"No need to be nervous, Mika" you softly giggle at his stuttered words. Mika feels his cheeks flush with heat at your words, but he doesn't dare protest. "I could never be nervous, Your Grace." Mika says, his eyes still locked unto your face. "I feel— safe with you. I feel at peace."
Mika's voice trembles as he speaks, but his eyes never leave your face. He doesn't look away, even as his heart races. He can't bring himself to leave your side. "There's something I wanted to ask you..." Mika swallows, his curiosity piqued.
"Yes?" He gazes at you. "Anything, Your Grace. You know you can ask for anything."
His whole body seems to hum, as if in anticipation of what you're about to say. "Is it ok for you...to be mine? Entirely and fully mine, as my equal?" Mika's breath catches in his throat. His whole body freezes, and his face goes pale. His gaze drops to the floor, and his shoulders tremble. His lips part as he takes a breath, as if he's just received some earth-shattering news.
But as quickly as he's overwhelmed, he recovers and glances up at you. His expression looks as if he can't quite believe what he's hearing. "Equals?" Mika whispers, "You want us— to be equals?" "Yes"
"You...you would grant me the biggest honor to be yours entirely..." "So its a yes?" You ask again to be reassured.
"It's a yes"
Neuvillette
Neuvillettes eyes flicker slightly as you give him a command. He doesn't dare say a word as he shuffles closer to you. Once he's close enough, he slides across the marble until he is at your feet. His face continues to be pressed against the cold floors, though his breaths are quick with the pressure against his body. Still, he remains motionless, waiting to see what you will tell him to do next.
"I really wanted to talk to you" Neuvillette finally looks up at you as you speak. He doesn't answer right away, though he seems to nod almost in agreement. His gaze is locked on you as if he's trying to understand what you want from him.
"I love you so much, but you act to much as my servant. I want you as my equal, my true lover, not my servant." "Y-Your Grace?" Neuvillette asks in a voice that sounds oddly shaken. He seems to be at a loss at your words, confused by the sudden declaration you've given him.
Still, Neuvillette lowers his head again. He waits patiently for further command, even though his thoughts are filled with a maelstrom of emotions.
His heart feels like it's about to burst from his chest in its frenzy. Never in all his years has he ever felt such confusing feelings. He is at a loss for what to do next. But he craves for you to continue. He loves you, he truly does, but this is positively overwhelming him. "It... It's all I've ever wished for, Your Grace." His voice catches slightly in his throat.
"I have spent my whole life devoted to you. To your will. I have been your servant, I have been your soldier. I have been your warrior and your shield." He pauses, and when he speaks again, the passion in his voice is palpable.
"But I also wished for the day when I am your equal, your partner. Your soulmate. Your love. I cannot live without your love, Your Grace. And it finally came true"
Razor - aged up
The command is a little vague for Razor, and his eyes flicker in confusion for a moment, but he doesn't hesitate. Without a word, he gets down on his knees and crawls towards your feet. He stays on his knees, pressing himself up against your leg as he looks at you expectantly. "What is it?" He simply asks.
"Just wanna talk to you, thats all"
"O-Of course, Lupical can talk" Razor responds. He remains exactly where he is, his eyes wide and eager to hear your words, as he feels the heat from your leg against his face. "I want us to be more than just friends..." He freezes, eyes widened with surprise.
You want— something more than being friends? But— but how could anyone be anything more to you? His mind tries to comprehend why you would even want him. What you even want from him in the first place. "B-But...Lupical...No friends or family but...mates? Lovers?--" he whispers in confusion. "Exactly" All of his blood rushes to his face. What a request. You wanted him to be... your lover?
"...I am yours," he breathes, his voice trembling. No second thoughts about your words. As soon as you said it, he knew he wanted the same; to be with you and you alone. That's what you wanted to hear, isn't it?
"Lovers...we are lovers"
Scaramouche
He complies immediately, coming closer, his eyes wide as he approaches you. "How may I serve you, Your Grace?" He whispers, as he takes in your beauty once again. "I want to talk with you..." Scaramouche is careful to keep his breathing light, his face betraying nothing. To any passerby, he appears the same as always, but in truth he is burning. He wants to please you, to hear your concerns with him. Every fiber of his being craves your approval.
Whatever you have to say to him, he cannot wait to hear it. "You're my lover, but i also want you as my equal. My equal by my side, no one deserves it more than you."  Scaramouche's heart soars the very instant you say the word "lover". His eyes soften. No matter how much he may try, he just *cannot* wipe away the flush in his cheeks. He knows he is already your lover, but hearing it from you feels sureal.
How does he deserve to be your lover, let alone your equal? Your love is a gift already. His heart can barely hold it without shattering. What if he fails, and disappoints you? The thought makes him freeze. Yet— yet he so badly doesn't want to deny you. Scaramouche realizes he was frozen in place. He didn't say that he agreed with you— but he couldn't disagree either. With every fiber of his being, he wants to say, "Yes, My Love, you are right." He deserves to be at your side.
"I would be honored," he says at last. He wants to shout, to cheer, to thank you, but all he can produce is a hoarse whisper. It's not his fault— you have taken away his voice.
"I...I love you"
Thoma
Thoma obeys in a flash. He stands up and walks towards you quickly but with a graceful step, stopping just inches from you. He looks at you, his face completely open to whatever you might say or do next. Thoma tilts his head, but he stays in place and waits patiently. It doesn't matter to him what you're thinking, or what sort of plans you have running through your mind; he just wants to be there with you.
"Thoma" "Yes, your Grace?" The Pyro user speaks without hesitation as soon as he hears you speak his name. He looks at you and smiles, his expression warm and loving; he waits to hear your words. "The last few day's I've been thinking..." "Oh?" Thoma cocks his head to the side, his expression curious and attentive. He steps a little closer and looks at you, waiting to hear what thoughts might've occupied your mind. "I want you as mine, me as yours, being equal to one another..." Thomas breath quickens at your words. Not a hint of hesitation appears on his face, and instead, he replies without delay: “I—I want that too, your Grace,” he says, his voice breaking in joy just moments after. For the most part of his life he has been a servant, but he wants to stay with you more than anything else, lover, servant or soldier, all that matters is you.
“You know I don’t want anything more in life but to be at your side, worshipping you.” His eyes flutter for a moment, and then, in a soft and steady tone, he adds; “I’m already yours.” he has never been so sure of something in his life.
"Oh?"
"I always was"
Tighnari
Tighnari does not hesitate. He scoots closer, until he is in arm's reach of you. He remains at your feet, his head bowed.
"You know you don't need to bow before me" "It's only natural for me to bow before you," he whispers. Tighnari waits for your next word, his mind utterly blank and his body still as a statue. He is unmoving, his breath still and his heartbeat slow. The only sign of life in this room is his gaze locked onto you. He feels the weight of your stare, his mind filled with thoughts of you and only you.
"Anyway...youre here because there's something i wanted to talk with you about" Tighnari does not move, but he does listen. His eyes wander over you, taking in every inch of your flesh. Finally he moved his head up.
"Yes?" He replies quietly, waiting patiently to hear your every word. "I want you. As my very equal, by my side here in the palace. My equal lover." Tighnari's eyes snap up, his cheeks flushed red. Blood surges in his veins as heat radiates off of his skin. And his ears start to twitch in surprise. A beat of total silence passes as Tighnari's mind races.
"M-me? Your equal?" A hint of a smile curls the corners of his lips, and the faintest trace of a blush can be seen on his flesh.
"Are you certain?" "Very"
Tighnari's mind is still reeling, but he does not dare to show too much emotion. He needs to hold control, or he would jump at you happily. He swallows down the lump in his throat as he thinks of his response.
"Of course. There's nothing i would love more than to be your equal, stay by your side and be considered yours" he truthfully says, a big smile now appearing on his face. It's all he can do. He will squeal in excitement after.
"My gra--my everything....for years I had saved my love and affection only for you..."
Venti
He is at your side almost instantly, his expression one of utter joy as he is allowed to be this close to you, like no one else ever will. The wind god is clearly doing his utmost to hold it together— and judging by how red his face is, he's struggling.
He smiles, and nods. "Yes, your Grace, I'm here" he says sweetly. "There's something I wanna talk about." You tell him as your hand starts to stroke his cheek. A slight gasp leaves Venti's lips of surprise. His face grows even redder as he looks up at you, his expression one of complete submission. He leans into your touch, as if he can't stand not to.
"*M-my grace*..." he breathes softly, just to hear his own words echo. "What is it that you want to talk about, your Grace?" "I want you as mine, for so long now I've been having those needs. The needs to have you as my very equal by my side." Venti blinks in surprise, but quickly looks back at you with the same devotion he would give a God. Your every need is my top priority, he thinks to himself. And my love for you is eternal.
He considers your statement for a few moments, but it's his nature to please you without hesitation. To love you as much as he can, he always did. "Y-yes, your Grace," Venti says slowly, as if the words are being ripped from his throat. If this is your wish, and your words are your command, then he would do it, happily. He makes it sound like a command, but its a reques, a request he would love to do. "I always belonged to you."
His expression melts with joy and amazement after the words start to sink in, and he hugs you as quick as he can. Venti leans into you, and his arms slowly slide around you. His heart feels as though it is going to explode in his chest.
He can feel your heartbeat, and his breath starts to hitch as the gravity of the situation is finally sinking in. His God, the one person he has ever loved— cares for him back. It's all he's ever wanted, something almost too fantastic to be true. The countless poems he wrote in your name, the countless songs and melodies he presented you and your followers with. The work payed of, and you love him as who he is.
The fact that you crave him, the anemo archon, the 'weakest' archon, makes him happy for eternity by your side.
Wriothesley
He immediately complies, his legs carrying him to where you are in the chamber. His mouth is dry, but he is focused only on you and the fact that he is here to serve you. He kneels before you in a display of obedience and deference, awaiting your command.
"You know I love you, right?" "I-" Wriothesley stops mid-sentence. His heart is pounding out of his chest, and he can hear the blood rushing in his ears. "Y-Yeah," he stammers. "Of course."
He bows his head as he speaks. He is almost trembling, his heart thrumming out of control. "And because of this, i want you as my equal, youre deserving of this title." "E-Equal?" Wriothesley's eyes are wide, still looking down. It's as if his heart stopped beating and he can only see stars. His voice is a whisper, barely above a whimper.
"I'd- I'd still be under you, wouldn't I?" He asks, his voice breaking. "That's not what equal means, silly" Wriothesley looks up, meeting your gaze for the first time in a long while. He has tears in his eyes, but he doesn't try to make you notice. "Oh, yeah..." he whispers. "But- but I-
He trails off. He can't comprehend the fact that he is no longer in your service, but is in fact now an equal. His knees have lost their purpose, and he stands tall, still in awe. His mind tries to wrap around his new position.
Wriothesley looks at you, his heart skipping a beat. When he looks at you, he feels the universe collapse into a singular point, with all light being drawn into your eyes.
"Thank you," he says quietly. His voice is shaky, and his throat feels like it's on fire. He reaches out to gently hold your hand, to reassure himself that you're real.
"For finally having me as yours, truly"
Xiao
At once, Xiao's body responds. He's desperate for your approval. Like a dog on a leash, he moves towards you blindly, his desire to please you taking precedence over whatever self-preservation instinct he has left. He makes it to you, his breathing fast and ragged. He lowers himself down to the ground, pressing his forehead against your feet. He takes a shaky breath. "Yes, yes Your Grace." He whispers, his voice breaking a little. "You've called for me?" "Xiao," you gently call, "please stand up"
Xiao stands up, still keeping his head bowed. "Yes, Your Grace." His breath is heavy and ragged, as he stares down at you. His voice is almost a whisper.
He wants to do anything to please you, but his sense of propriety prevents him from doing anything else. Xiao's eyes meet yours, and he blinks rapidly, trying to hold eye contact. "I love you so much, and i want...need you as my equal." Xiao's eyes widen, and he stares at you in awe. He never thought he would hear you say these words.
"Your Grace..." he whispers softly, "You can't mean that!" The words are barely audible. "I'm but a servant, born to worship you, Your Grace— I'm incapable of being your equal..."
He wants to speak more, but his love for you makes the words catch in his throat. "You're deserving of it" Xiao's face is a mask of confusion. Your words make him forget himself. He stands motionless, his throat tight, and his breath heavy. When he speaks, his voice is a whisper.
"Your Grace... I'm not deserving of these words... I'm nothing without you... I can't be... worthy enough to be your equal..." He trails off, but his gaze remains fixed on you, as if waiting for you to prove him wrong.
"You are" At first Xiao can't respond. The thought of being treated as your equal— the thought that he might be loved by you, without having to worship you— is unfathomable. His eyes are full, and he's trembling under the weight of your words. When he does speak, his voice is barely audible.
"Your Grace... you mean it?" Xiao's eyes stay on you, looking for a sign that he's dreaming.
"Yes." At last, Xiao's eyes widen and light up. "Your Grace... " he breathes, his voice choked with so much joy and relief that it's barely audible.
Xiao can't help himself. Without thinking, he takes a step forward and pulls you into a tight hug. His arms tighten around you, his grip too strong, as if he's afraid of losing you. Xiao's grip grows even tighter— as if he can't bear the idea of letting you go. His eyes are wide and filled with tears, which run down his cheeks when he presses his face into your chest.
"Your Grace..." he whispers, his voice filled with joy and relief. "You have no idea how long I've waited to hear those words... my love for you is too strong to express in words, Your Grace... it's more than worship, more than devotion— I adore you. I love you"
Xingqiu - aged up
Xingqiu stands, nodding silently before he moves to you. His hands are clasped behind his back as he waits in anticipation for your orders, unable to bring himself to raise his head out of respect for your authority. He seems perfectly content where he is, awaiting your command. His voice is steady but soft-- almost like a whisper-- as he speaks. The sound is quiet and reserved, but is filled with something akin to awe. He almost seems like a different person than the book lover as he speaks. "Y-Yes, Your Grace?"
"You are aware of my love for you, yes?" He is stunned by your words. It takes him a moment to process, only nodding silently as his face flushes pink. He swallows, trying to regain his composure, but even the quietness of his actions speak. "Y-Yes, Your Grace." He keeps his hands steady behind, seeming to be in a trance. "I am aware, yes... You've always been clear about that, Your Grace."
He tries to keep his expression as stoic as possible, but a tiny grin still seems to stretch across his face. "And with that, i want you as my equal." Xingqiu is frozen in place for what feels like forever. No amount of time would have prepared him for this.
"Your Grace," he finally says to you, his voice slightly quivering. "I am not worthy. I am nowhere near as perfect as you. Nowhere near as wise. Nowhere near as beautiful." He's silent for a moment. "I am just your faithful devotee... a loyal servant, at your beck and call. What would I even do as your equal?"
"You'd be mine"
Your words have caught him off-guard.
There's a heavy silence as he tries to comprehend the reality of what you're saying. It's like he's been cast into a daydream, a state of pure euphoria. When he speaks, his voice is trembling. "Y-Your Grace, I would be honored to become yours." He has to pause for a moment to collect himself. "I am yours for the rest of my days."
"So, you accept?" "Yes," he whispers, eyes locked on yours. "Your Grace, I accept." He finally allows himself to raise his head off the floor, his gaze firmly upon you. His words come out much smoother now, the euphoria having settled into a steady, loving joy.
"I accept. You have granted me my utmost greatest wish, Your Grace."
Zhongli
Zhongli has allowed himself to be embraced. His eyes flutter closed as he leans against you, though he still does not return the gesture. There is this faint tremor in his frame; as if he can't help but relax in your presence.
He might be an Archon, but he's also your good boy. "Zhongli?" He tilts his head up toward you, his eyes half-lidded. He seems so close to sleep, and yet he manages to keep himself conscious.
"Your Grace?" "There's something I want to ask you..." His head tilts slightly to the side; curious, but he manages to keep his eyes focused on you. "Ask, and it shall be answered." "Are you ready to be my equal, by my side as mine?" Zhongli seems to stiffen as he considers your request. Even if he wanted to, could he ever be your equal?
But he doesn't say anything, even if every word that comes to mind is an apology. He could not say no to you, even if it took every fiber in his being. He simply bows his head in affirmation.
"Your Grace, I love you, and i would love to take up this offer to be your equal." He seems to swallow back his words, as if fighting against every instinct he's known his entire life. His face seems to flush a rosy pink as your lips meet his; his eyes close and his head tilts into your touch.
After a moment, you lean in to return the kiss, softly at first, but more confidently as his hand wraps around the nape of your neck. He seems utterly lost in your touch, his lips soft but insistent. He has no words, he just wants to kiss you; to feel you in all the places his lips can reach.
He's yours now; whatever you ask, whatever you say he'll do.
His tongue darts out to touch your lips once, twice, again. He might have once thought himself above kissing you, but now...
Now he's simply yours.
♡TAGLIST♡
@junejunejun
3K notes · View notes
jeonstudios · 10 days ago
Text
dextrocardia | 16
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Dextrocardia. Originally a medical term, but also a way to describe someone who's got their heart in the right place.
"She's been moved to another operation to help out. This pairing is necessary because you'll be undercover as spouses. I know you two can be professional about this."
"What?!" It's Jeongguk's upset voice that sounds, and for once, you share his displeased opinion.
Spouses.
pairing: cop!jk x f detective!reader
genre: undercover cops, fake marriage, e2l au, angst, fluff, (smut?)
word count: 6.5k
warnings: none besides.... fictional police work...
rating: NC-17 – Adults Only
masterlist
part 16/? 
<previous | next>
© dextrocardia is copyright jeonstudios. this fic can not be modified, re-posted, or translated without my permission.
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Despite everything, you fill with a sense of excitement as you drive off, Sana in the passenger seat beside you. It’s nice to feel like you have a purpose again, and even if you technically had one during the last mission with Jeongguk, it was overshadowed by the danger you believed resided under the same roof. 
It’s a comfortable journey, and soon enough the highway turns into a pristine neighborhood, bearing no trace of the traumatic events that occurred there months ago. Most of it looks the same as you remember it but other parts don’t. There’s an unfamiliar car parked outside ‘your’ house, and not only that, but glancing through the large windows as you cruise by, you spot movement inside. Children? You knew people would eventually move into the house–a house that never even belonged to you to begin with–but it feels weird.
Putting your more than illogical feelings aside, you focus on parking your car outside the Jungs’ house instead. Before stepping out, you and Sana give each other one last once-over. Despite the relatively low risk of this initial part of the mission, you’ve still made an effort to appear inconspicuous, and it’s not only for your own sake. Considering what they’ve done for you–Hoseok especially–you don’t want to be a bother if they’d rather not have law enforcement be seen knocking on their door.
It’s Eunha who opens the door, eyes going wide when they land on your face. For a second, your worry grows; what if your presence isn’t actually appreciated? At all? But then her lips pull into a smile.
“Oh, hello?”
“Hi, we were wondering if we could ask you a few questions? About another case, not… yours,” you find your greeting turning into rambling.
“Oh, uh, yeah, of course. Come on in. I’m a little busy baking at the moment, but Hobi is home, and I’m guessing he’s the one you really want to speak with?”
She wipes her hands on her light blue jeans, leaving a white, powdery residue on the fabric before opening the door wider. 
“Thank you,” you smile as you step inside, looking around to see that, as far as you can tell, everything looks the same as when you last paid the Jungs’ a visit. When you think about it, Hoseok never brought up the bugs you placed in their house, so you’re guessing they never found them. Or if they did, they haven’t brought it up for some reason or another. You’re not sure, but what you do know is that you’re not gonna be the one to do it, just in case.
“Make yourselves at home. I need to check on the cookies. Hobi!” she turns to call out into the house, “We have guests!”
With an apologetic smile, Eunha excuses herself, and then you and Sana are left alone in the entryway. You share some kind of look. Sure, you didn’t expect too much hostility, but to leave you, two detectives, unsupervised in their home? 
A second later, the sound of footsteps approaches, and you smile toward the brown-haired man as he comes into view, his confused features turning happy. He takes in the sight of you before he closes the distance to give you a warm hug.
“How are you? You look good!” he compliments, also turning to shake Sana’s hand, a very sweet smile on his lips. “Hoseok.”
“Sana,” she greets.
“I’m doing well,” you answer, “He is too; made a full recovery.”
Hoseok’s smile falls, and he takes on a rather baffled look instead. “We saw on the news. About the station and the investigation and all that. Crazy. I mean, we knew there were corrupt cops, but to that extent?”
“Yeah.”
“So what brings you here?” he asks, a glint slowly returning to his eyes. “Was it maybe something I said one time at a hospital?”
You nod, “Yeah. Can you tell us what you know? Or give us any tips at all so that we can stop Kyung Sunghyun once and for all?”
You watch him contemplate. Since he first let that comment about Ksung slip at the hospital, you’ve felt that he’s a good enough man to at least not mind Sunghyun being investigated and possibly put behind bars. But what can he say without incriminating himself for essentially planning a robbery? And can he trust you if he accidentally lets something slip? You might seem like you’ve stopped pursuing him, but can he trust you not to, ever?
“Why don’t we take a seat in the living room?” He gestures for you to follow him, and after quickly taking off your shoes and jackets, you do, with Sana in tow.
Sitting on the Jungs’ couch, you wait for Hoseok to get comfortable and for Sana to pull her pen and notebook out of her bag. 
“Hey, love?” Hoseok calls out to his wife, turning to the two of you, “You want something to drink?”
“Oh, water would be fine,” Sana accepts, and you nod, “Yeah.”
“Hm?” Eunha appears in the doorway. She seems to have more flour on her pants than last time.
“Could you bring us some water?”
“Of course. Anything else?”
Hoseok thinks about it for a second before he lights up, “Oh, do we have some of those brownies left?”
“Uh, yeah, I’ll bring a few pieces.”
“Thanks.”
As soon as Eunha leaves, Hoseok turns to you again, a look of concentration coloring his features. “So, what do you want to know?”
“Well, everything,” you say.
“Okay. I’ll warn you that I might not know as much as you think, and some things–not that I know them–I can’t say. I guess I can start by saying that, hypothetically, if I were a criminal of any kind, I would probably still stay as far away from other criminals as possible; especially if I had… valuables that might make me a target. No honor amongst thieves and all that, you know?”
Although his words deny any criminal activity, his expression reveals that he’s well aware that everyone in the room knows that he’s far from innocent. At least as far as the law is concerned. You watch him intently, waiting for whatever information he has and praying that it’ll help.
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Sana drives you both home an hour or so later, you sitting quietly in the passenger seat and staring out the window as the world passes by.
“We need to tell Jihyo as soon as possible,” Sana says, “I can drive you home after if you want me to? Unless you’d rather stay with me?”
“No, it’s… fine. I’m fine.”
You are fine. Although it could’ve sent you into some sort of panic attack, it didn’t. It’s just a reminder of why you don’t trust men, and you feel yourself withdrawing instead.
Hoseok didn’t have too much info on the Ksung trafficking case. As you expected, they spent a pretty significant amount of time trailing Sunghyun and his closest men in order to map their routines. Not that Hoseok admitted it; it was very ‘hypothetical’. But from what you gathered, it was difficult to get close to the top men and almost harder to follow anyone. Then, when everything happened and Hoseok and Yoongi understood that you’d been watching them, they put the plans mostly on hold. Except for one thing.
“He, of course, doesn’t actually get his hands dirty if he can help it, and we weren’t–you’d have to be a whole team to keep track of everyone and what they’re doing. But …there might be a private plane flying mostly under the radar about once a month. Someone might’ve found… ‘receipts’ for fuel from different places, and when pieced together, they form a vague route.”
“I guess the question is, why the need to fly incognito? Is it possible it flies… cash or other valuables from the bank that they’d rather not have everyone know of?” Sana asks, and you nod in agreement. It’s a very valid concern; you wouldn’t want just anyone to know if you’re transporting valuable cargo, even legally.
“The plane is refueled more often and with less fuel than a cargo plane, according to the receipts. It seems to be a very small plane, with a correspondingly small fuel tank. And these days, flight tracking is the default; it’s definitely an extra step to opt-out. Sometimes even difficult to achieve.”
“So we’ll be looking into this plane, alright. Where are the receipts from? Is there a pattern? Somewhere we can go to see if we catch them as they’re refueling?”
“The first stop is around three hours from their headquarters, so you’d assume the plane is stationed around there somewhere, but it might have proved hard to actually find it. I’ll give you the coordinates for that and the other locations.”
“Thank you.”
It’s with genuine gratitude that you thank Hoseok. It’s truly ironic that one of the sweetest men in your story is a bank robber, while the police have taken on the role of your enemy.
“So how is your case coming along? You haven’t found them yet, I assume?”
You press your lips together briefly before sighing. You know you shouldn’t disclose anything, really, but again, with how much has been on the news, the public would’ve known if the wanted police officers had been apprehended. And they haven’t. You’ve been told not even the Jimin-lead actually led to anything.
So you shake your head. "Still looking.”
To your surprise, Hoseok looks to be thinking hard about something.
“Okay, so… this might not lead anywhere, but if you’re stuck and possibly trailing Ksung’s people anyway… rumor has it that Ksung has been paying off the cops for a while. Not sure what station, but maybe, someone–at least up until around two months ago–used to meet up with someone at seven a.m. on the fifteenth of every month. Like I said, it’s supposedly around two hours away from here, essentially smack dab in the middle between the closest stations, but given your previous colleagues’... reluctance to follow the law, it might be worth checking out.”
“But they’ve been on the run for months now,” Sana questions, “If Ksung has been paying for police protection or their deliberate ignorance, then what would be the point now? They don’t have anything left to offer.”
“Their silence, maybe?” Hoseok tries to offer an explanation. “They could be blackmailing Ksung into giving them the money they need while on the run. Pay up, or they’ll tip someone off?”
“If what we think about Ksung is true, wouldn’t he just… get rid of them if that were the case? Can’t be that much of a leap between trafficking and murder? Especially if they’re a threat to everything Sunghyun built?”
You adjust your position on the couch, sitting quite literally on the edge of your seat and looking at Sana. “Yeah, I honestly think so too. It wouldn’t make sense to let some of the most wanted people blackmail you like that. There’s a big risk that they’re caught and then they might blab and drag you down too. Better to get rid of them.”
“Maybe,” Hoseok adds, “But there were a lot of officers caught in the investigation, weren’t there?”
“Yeah. All fired,” Sana confirms.
“Again, I can’t promise it’ll help because it’s somewhat of a long shot, but what if you didn’t catch them all? What if…”
“--Someone’s still working at the station,” you continue where Hoseok trailed off. “And taking bribes?”
“And you think that person is helping Hoseong?” Sana wonders, her eyes wide.
“Don’t know, but what are the odds of two separate groups of officers being corrupt?”
You really don’t want to answer that.
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Jihyo is surprised at your findings, but when you turn it around to look at it from another angle, it makes an awful lot more sense. Instead of questioning the odds of your two cases being connected, it’s not so strange to think that a criminal bank CEO might be bribing the town’s corrupt police. It’s just strange for you to have found yourself in the middle of it.
“So what do we do?” Sana whispers, glancing at Jihyo’s closed office door behind her.
“Wait. What’s today’s date?” Jihyo asks, her eyes going wide as she realizes what you’ve already had time to see.
“January fourteenth,” Sana explains.
Jihyo looks at you and Sana and the look you give each other. “No. We should wait for backup; the outsourced detectives will be here in a week.”
“We’ll miss the window,” you argue quietly.
Jihyo raises her eyebrows. “What if it’s not true? What if it’s a trap to get rid of you?”
“Set up by Hoseok? I don’t think so. He could’ve gotten rid of us today if he wanted to, and I don’t think he would; he saved us, after all.”
“Well, you more or less surprised him today, and people knew where you were, so it would’ve been stupid on his part. Getting rid of you while you’re ‘looking for someone else’ would be a better plan. And like you’ve said before, when he saved your life, he didn’t know that you were investigating him yet. Now that he does, he might’ve just been waiting for an opportunity. What are the odds of you finding all of this out on the fourteenth when the supposed meeting is taking place tomorrow?”
Well, when she’s putting it like that you have to agree that there’s a risk. Not a big one, you don’t think, but a risk nonetheless.
“I want to go,” you say before lowering the volume of your voice further, “If there is someone here still… if there’s a mole, we need to… we need to act as soon as possible. The longer we wait, even if we try to be discreet, the higher the risk of him finding out.”
Jihyo sighs, lifting her hand to rub her forehead until she seemingly decides.
“Fine. Do you want to go tomorrow? Together? Maybe you should bring someone else as well?”
“Who? We don’t know who the mole or informant is, and if you suggest bringing Jeongguk…” you trail off. Jeongguk is great, but this is not his area of expertise.
“He’ll want to go, regardless.”
“He’s not a detective.”
“He’s out on a call right now?” Sana asks.
Jihyo nods. “Yeah, I think so. Out patrolling, at least.”
“Don’t tell him,” Sana suggests.
“You don’t think it’s him, right?” Jihyo asks in disbelief.
Sana continues, “No, but… the more people who know, the bigger the risk. I think he’ll do more good here, keeping up the charades.”
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A few hours later, you’re already in the car, heading toward the spot Hoseok pointed out on a map. The meeting isn’t supposed to take place until tomorrow morning, which gives you a valuable opportunity to scope the place out beforehand.
The sun has set by the time you reach a hill, the road ending in an empty cul-de-sac with a low stone wall overlooking the arches of a large, gray viaduct. There’s a road running parallel to you, only on the other side of the wall, below the hill. It doesn’t pass under the viaduct, which stands almost perpendicular to you, but instead turns to run alongside it. You lean your gloved hands against the stone wall, following the road and its sidewalk below with your eyes. 
The meeting point is supposedly a few meters from the sidewalk, up underneath the viaduct’s closest arches. From this spot, you can’t see beyond the arch, except for a few bushes and trees. It looks like it might be downhill.
Hidden by the elevation, the stone wall, and some trees, the current spot will be where you park the car tomorrow, and before checking in at a nearby hotel for the night, you decide to also check out the other side of the viaduct.
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“So, how does it feel to be back for real?” Sana asks, stepping out of the bathroom and putting her toothbrush in her mouth.
Sitting on the bed, you flip through the TV channels. “Uh, good. I really missed this… feeling of having a purpose?”
She pauses the brushing, toothbrush still in her mouth as she speaks. “Mhm, I get what you’re saying. And… how does it feel, knowing that there might be someone we… missed?”
You take a moment to think about it. “I don’t know. I’m so used to walking around the hallways, paranoid of who might be waiting around the corner. Waiting for me to be alone somewhere. After a while, you just don’t have the energy to be that scared anymore.”
Sana nods in understanding, brushing her teeth thoroughly for another few seconds before she enters the bathroom again to spit the foam into the sink.
“Did you know that I basically didn’t fight them at all when they came for us during the undercover assignment?” you ask, fiddling with the remote on the white bedspread.
“Jeongguk mentioned something about feeling like you’d given up, but not a lot more. He wanted us to stay close and check up on you; said he thought the last year had taken a bigger toll on you than we’d assumed.”
“Yeah. I’ve been so scared for such a long time; felt for so long that I stand no chance whenever they actually decide to try it. I didn’t think there was any use in fighting them when they came, so I just… stood there. I closed my eyes.”
“But Jeongguk saved you.”
“He did, yeah. Let himself be stabbed by a fucking samurai sword.”
Sana’s quiet as she exits the bathroom again, a white robe in her arms. 
You let out a deep breath. “What would you do? If you were me?”
Immediately understanding, she sits down on the other bed. “I don’t know. I want to say that I’d give him a chance, but I think it might be easier said than done.”
You look down at your hands. “Yeah.”
“I do believe he’s a good guy, and I think he’s learned his lesson, but a relationship can’t depend on whether he’s good or not, if he deserves you, or whether you should forgive him, can it?”
“It shouldn’t?” you raise your eyebrow at her, smiling a little.
“No, I mean, you shouldn’t be with him if the answer to those questions is ‘no,’ but the next question is just… Do you want to be with him?”
“I don’t know.”
“Then… does being with him make you happy?”
You feel your whole body practically answer her question. Your eyes drop sadly to the bedspread again, and your shoulders lift a little anxiously. “I think he makes me feel inadequate.”
She looks at you sadly. “You know that you’re not, though, right? You get to feel that way, and he has no say over your feelings because he’s the one who caused them, but you’re more than enough. We’ll support you no matter what you decide to do.”
Nodding slowly, you take another deep breath, getting up from the bed to brush your own teeth.
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Usually, you find it hard to wake up fully when the sun has yet to rise and it’s freezing cold. Even the hotel’s hard but warm bed would be tempting you to stay in. But not today. The moment the alarm blares, you’re already reaching for your phone to quiet it, sitting up and looking around. On the other bed, not far from yours, Sana is rubbing her eyes and yawning. Today’s the day you might actually find a good lead.
Due to the nature of today’s assignment, you’re armed, just in case, and you’re clipping small body cameras to your thick, black jackets. On your head, you’ve got black beanies, and your hands are gloved as well to withstand the cold.
The sun still hasn’t made it far on its journey across the sky when you park the car in the same spot as you did yesterday. 
“I’m in my position,” Sana informs through the earpiece. You dropped her off closer to the other side of the viaduct, where she’s currently hiding a little farther down a walkway and behind some parked cars. 
“Good. Me too,” you confirm, leaning your elbows against the wall. Thanks to the trees and the relative distance, you’re well hidden as you kneel behind the stone wall, focusing on the meeting point through your black binoculars.
“It’s five fifty a.m., and we’re both in position,” you repeat, more so for the recordings.
“And so we wait,” Sana concludes.
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Despite the thick jackets, it doesn’t take long before you’re freezing. If you could, you’d sit in the car, at least to be protected from the biting wind, but the angle from there wouldn’t let you see over the wall. Sana complains quietly about her fingers while your cheeks hurt the most. Every glance at your watch is painful.
Six fifty arrives, and you focus further. But there’s no one. Once every few minutes, a car or two passes on the road below you, but that’s it. Seven o’clock. Still no one. You’re starting to fear that maybe you missed them? Did they change location? Or maybe they decided on another time? What if they really just stopped meeting up, altogether? Hoseok didn’t seem too sure, after all. You bite your lip, trying to keep your cold body still. If there is an informant, you need to catch him.
Then, at seven twenty, you hear something. It’s the rustling of thick fabric as Sana adjusts her position.
“Dark-clothed male, moving in. 4 o’clock.”
As slowly and inconspicuously as you can, to not draw attention, you turn your head. Sure enough, a man is walking on the sidewalk below and to your right. 
Just like you, he’s dressed in all black, a bulky jacket covering most of his body except his legs. He’s got the hood pulled over his head and his hands in his pockets.
“Can you get a visual of his face?” you ask, watching wide-eyed as he passes below you.
“No, he’s got something–a shirt or something–pulled up over his mouth and nose.”
“Okay, looks like he’s headed for the viaduct,” you say, waiting to see if he follows the sidewalk as it turns to run parallel to the viaduct, or if he steps in under the arch. “We’ll wait and see if anyone else shows.”
But the man doesn’t stop to wait for someone. He steps off the sidewalk, casually walking over to the closest of the huge pillars, graffitied in blue and green, and swiftly retrieves something from under a small bush. A bag?
“It’s a dead drop,” Sana exclaims as the man continues on his path, heading in her direction. It only took a few seconds, and anyone less observant would’ve missed the pickup. 
“Do you recognize him?” you ask, on the edge of your seat. “Can you follow?”
You’re too far away to follow him on foot, and driving down would be impractical and likely draw his attention, so you stay put.
Instead, Sana moves, the rustling loud in your ears, and you hold your breath. It’s always more nerve-wracking to watch someone else pursue and track a target than doing it yourself. If this man discovers her, you don’t know what will happen, much less what he’ll do if he recognizes her.
The man disappears from view, and for a while, all you hear is Sana’s breathing and that same occasional rustling of her jacket as she moves. Then, there’s a bout of silence before her quiet, shocked voice comes through. 
“I can’t follow him further; he’s getting into a black car. I… I think it’s JJ.”
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As quickly as possible, you drive back to the station, wondering if you ever missed a clue about JJ. Considering how many men work at the station and how you’ve had to keep a very close eye on some of them, JJ has flown under your radar a bit. The tall man wasn’t anyone you’ve paid much attention to or interacted with, but he never came across as weird or suspicious; just as a regular man. He never outright harassed you, but he never stood up for you either, but then again, he wasn’t the only one using that approach. Additionally, you’ve seen him with Jeongguk a bunch of times, and you figured Jeongguk had cleared all the remaining men. Not that it’s Jeongguk’s fault, but still; you don’t think he’s easy to fool.
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“How sure are you?” Jihyo asks in a hushed voice, her worried eyes flitting between you, Sana, and the closed office door. You know JJ is already at the station, you walked past him in the hallway, dressed in uniform. You weren’t able to follow the man, but considering you had to wait a bit and then drive down to collect Sana, it’s entirely plausible he made it back before you.
“Like eighty percent. It was hard to see, but… I’m pretty sure. Don’t know if I captured anything of value, but we can go through the recordings to be sure?”
“Maybe we can look through the work schedule as well?” you suggest. “If he hasn’t been clocked in at seven to eight a.m. on the fifteenth of the last few months–probably since they went on the run–then–” 
“–We still can’t rule him out,” Jihyo interrupts sadly. “Even if he’s been clocked in, he–maybe together with his partner–could’ve simply driven there while on duty, assuming they weren’t on an active call. Maybe not super likely, but not impossible. So if he’s been clocked in, we’d need to look at those exact hours and place him on specific calls.”
“Which might take a while,” Sana adds, and you nod, realizing that she’s right.
Your heart races. “So what do we do?”
“His car’s in the garage, right?”
Jihyo gives Sana a warning look. “We’ll need a warrant to search it, and this is not enough for one.” 
“But not to take a look through the window,” you say, biting your lip and meeting Sana’s eyes.
You wait for Jihyo’s objection, but it doesn’t come. “Be careful,” she whispers instead, following you toward the door. “If there’s one, there might be more.”
“Yes, boss.”
Being the first one to step out of Jihyo’s office, you glance the other way, just in case JJ happens to be watching. However, you don’t look where you’re going, and of course, you run headfirst into someone’s chest.
“Hey,” a deep voice says, its owner steadying you by your arms. Of course. 
Embarrassed, you look up, only to meet Jeongguk’s dark eyes. He’s dressed head to toe in uniform, the sleeves rolled up to expose his veiny forearms, tattoos and all, and it’s clear that he’s on his way out to patrol. You didn’t know he was really patrolling again, but then again, it doesn’t seem like they were getting anywhere on your case, and well… you don’t talk much these days. Like always when he’s near, your heart rate picks up, and your skin heats under his hands despite the fabric between you.
“Uh, sorry,” you apologize, looking away. You know you’re normally a pretty good actress, but today, you just feel too wound up and on edge. Jeongguk holds onto your arms, his observant eyes gazing over you.
“Is everything okay?”
“Uh, yeah. Everything’s fine,” you say with a nod, glancing at Sana. “But we need to go.”
But Jeongguk doesn’t give up. “There’s something’s going on, isn’t there?”
“No,” you lie again.
“You’re making me worried.”
“You don’t need to be.”
His gaze flickers between you and Sana, and even though you don’t think he’s completely buying it, he lets go. “Promise me you’ll tell me if you find out anything.”
“Yeah, okay,” you say, already moving away. Technically, you being ‘off’ can simply be explained by the fact that you’re not entirely comfortable around him.
After getting rid of Jeongguk, you and Sana enter the station’s parking garage. The personnel floor is empty, save for about twenty to thirty vehicles, Jeongguk’s motorcycle included. Still, you make sure to look around before you start.
“What did the car look like?” you ask, peering through the back window of the closest one, a small dark blue car.
“Unfortunately, I couldn’t make out much besides the color and size. It was black and a pretty small one, I think.”
You look around. Almost all cars are black. Or at least dark enough to be mistaken for black. "Do we even know what his actual car looks like?"
“Well... Let’s just check all of them. Just to be safe.”
Even though you make sure to check carefully, the process goes quickly. Until Sana calls your name quietly, the black car in front of her being her sixth or seventh.
“That could be it, right?” she points toward something barely visible, halfway under the passenger seat. But yeah, it looks like black fabric, maybe part of a small bag, but you can’t be entirely sure.
“Yeah, maybe.”
“If we could only look inside,” Sana mutters.
“Yeah,” you sigh, your shoulder dropping in disappointment. “But all he did was maybe pick up a bag of unknown contents outside. It’s not enough. Should we just check the rest of them and then head back?”
Sana nods, “I’ll finish this row.”
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Jihyo is still in her office when you return, having found nothing but the maybe-bag. She’s pacing on the phone to someone, motioning for you to enter when you cautiously peek your head through the door.
“Okay… Just get back to me as soon as you can, alright?” she says, sitting down behind her desk. “Yeah, okay, bye.”
“We saw what we think could be the bag, halfway hidden under the seat of a car that looks about the one the man got into,” Sana explains quietly after you’ve closed the door behind you.
“Okay, so nothing’s ruled out and nothing’s confirmed,” Jihyo concludes.
You nod, trying to think of the next steps. “Well, what if we review the camera footage? We were probably too far away, but you never know, right? And Jihyo, you could check the schedules and work hours, start cross-checking them with the calls responded to. I’ll see if I can dig up anything else about him.”
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For a few hours, you work in Jihyo’s office, all three of you focused. Jihyo sits behind her desk,  trying to see if she can match JJ to specific calls on any recent fifteenths and thus provide him with an alibi. 
Sana sits in a chair on the other side of the desk, her laptop open in front of her as she goes through every frame of your recordings, and you sit on the floor, back against the wall, scrolling through both your phone and laptop. 
“Finding anything?” Sana wonders, sighing in frustration–a sign that the recordings aren’t giving her anything useful.
“Maybe…” Jihyo replies, eyes locked on her screen. “Can you read line thirty-seven for me?” She hands Sana a sheet of paper listing the calls.
“Sure. Uh… Call about vandalism came at six twenty-seven a.m., reported closed at eight thirty-two. October fifteenth, last year.”
“Six twenty-seven to eight thirty-two,” Jihyo repeats as you scroll through JJ’s instagram, clicking on yet another tagged friend.
“Mhm,” Sana hums.
“Well, he was clocked in… But it seems like… yeah, Min and Mark were the ones who responded to it.”
The room feels… tense in a way, something Jihyo is about to put into words. Meanwhile, you focus on your phone, fingers tapping away quickly and your heartbeat rising.
“Doesn’t seem like we can rule him out. Which, you know, sucks because we all trust him–maybe trusted him–and we don’t want yet another one to have betrayed us. But if it is him, then maybe… we might finally be getting somewhere? Maybe?”
“Yeah, I agree. Don’t like the direction we’re moving in, but at least we’re moving.”
“Hey, guys,” you say, your eyes still glued to the screen in your hands. “JJ has a stepsister named Jimin.”
“What?” Sana exclaims, her voice hushed and eyes wide as she turns to you.
“Yeah. JJ’s mom seems to be dating this Jimin’s dad, but it doesn’t look like they’re married; not even like they live together.”
“So there are no ties on paper?”
“No, no ties.”
All three of you exchange silent looks, realizing what this could mean. You might have an address.
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After discussing your findings–all hushed voices and big eyes as you conclude that, yeah, maybe Jimin visited her brother at the station and stumbled across Hoseong–you decide to take a break. You need to pee and Sana complained only a minute ago of her rumbling stomach. To be fair, you haven’t had time to take any real breaks, much less eat.
Determined, you leave the office, discreetly looking around before heading toward the bathroom. Sana leaves for the cafeteria.
After using the bathroom, you sit on the closed toilet lid to gather your thoughts. It almost feels like you need to catch your breath, too. Do you dare hope that you might finally get them? Still, you find yourself imagining what you’d do if that were the case. It’s not like they’ve haunted you for decades, but even a few months stretching into years feels like such a long time. A lifetime, almost. You experienced life at the station before everything went down, but is it even possible to return to that? Maybe it isn’t; you’re not the same person anymore.
Still thinking deeply about what this revelation might mean, you head back toward Jihyo’s office. Occasionally–like now–the white halls are empty, but as you approach the wooden door with the frosted window, you hear voices inside. They’re not abnormally loud per se, but louder than they should be.
You open the door, and for a moment, the voices fall silent. Already back, Sana stands with a Saran-wrapped bread bun and coffee in her hands. Jihyo sits behind her desk as usual, her laptop open and the call papers scattered across her normally tidy desk. And Jeongguk is standing in front of it, still in his uniform, wild eyes looking back at you.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“It wouldn’t have changed anything for the better,” you say, stepping in fully and closing the door behind you. “You’re with the guys more than we are. We don’t want them to find out.”
“There’s a risk anyway,” he says, turning to Jihyo, “We need to go there as soon as possible.”
Jihyo meets his gaze, her expression understanding but firm. “Jeongguk, like I said, we need to wait for backup. We’re understaffed, and there’s too much of a risk that they’ll recognize you. Besides, all of you inside this room are too emotionally involved at this point.”
His hands fly out, and though he tries to keep his voice down, frustration seeps through. “They were allowed to watch JJ accept a bribe in the first place?” he argues.
“Yes, and that was risky enough. If they recognize you, they’ll probably try to kill you. They’ve got nothing to lose, and you’re the reason they’re in this mess to begin with. Just hang in there until backup arrives.”
He shakes his head in frustration and disbelief. “This is crazy. They’ve tried to kill her so many times, and someone connected to them is still here. For all we know, he could be planning something on their behalf as we speak!”
“I don’t know what to tell you. I understand you’re frustrated; we all are, but this is the best course of action.”
He gestures toward you, “She needs to leave in that case. She can’t stay here.”
To be honest, you’re not that scared of JJ. He’s never seemed particularly interested in you, and you don’t think he’s planning to kill you or anything like that. Months have passed without you even suspecting he might be involved, and nothing has happened. Sure, you were mostly with Jeongguk until recently and not that often at the station, so while the opportunities might not have been plentiful, JJ has had his chances.
Jihyo sighs, leaning back in her chair. “It’s up to her.”
He turns to face you fully. “Come stay with me? Take a week off, stay at my place.”
You shake your head. “No, I’m staying at my place, and I’ll continue to work if I feel like it.”
“Please?”
You’ll never stop being surprised at how easily Jeongguk lets go of his pride. But by doing it so quickly, with so few reservations, it’s almost as if he grows in your eyes. You try not to think about him in that way.
You shake your head. “I don’t want you to think that you need to save me all the time. I’ll be fine on my own.”
He glances around at the three women in the room, none giving him the support he wants. He looks like he wants to say something, but suddenly, someone calls for him on his com radio.
“Go,” Jihyo instructs as Jeongguk gives you one last longing look before quickly exiting through the door.
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Jeongguk can’t shake the new information, and as the day progresses, it keeps gnawing at him, his mind turning over every possible option again and again. While that last call–regarding a break-in—kept him distracted for a bit, his thoughts return as he enters the station again, Min heading off to the cafeteria.
He knows you’ve already gone home by the time he’s clocking out and heading for the locker room, still unsure of what to do. It terrifies him to know that there’s still someone who might want to hurt you, walking these halls. That he missed someone. 
He’s got three options to choose from. The first: go home. Get some sleep. Or at least try to get some sleep. And then just hope that JJ didn’t spot you this morning and is waiting to attack you outside your apartment door. Jeongguk knows that it’s what you want him to do; go home and not get involved. But he’ll never forgive himself if something happens to you.
Option two is to drive to your apartment and sit in his car outside it all night. He’ll do it if needed, but it’s not very tempting, and it’ll render him useless at work tomorrow. Additionally, if nothing happens tonight–which, yeah, it might not–then he’ll need to guard you the night after as well. Sooner or later, he’ll need to sleep.
Biting his lip, he enters the locker room, taking a lap to make sure he’s alone before pulling out his phone. Google gives him the number to the nearest car rental, and he wastes no time, pressing ‘dial.’
He’s picking option three, and he needs a car that isn’t his.
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<previous | next>
author's note: i hope you liked it!! <3<3
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seredelgi · 2 months ago
Text
Do they get jealous?/ JJK x fem!reader
Featuring: Satoru Gojo, Suguru Geto, Toji Fushiguro, Megumi Fushiguro, Yuuji Itadori, Kento Nanami, Ryoumen Sukuna
tw: kissing, making out, jealousy, possessive behavior, toxic behavior, implied/referenced sex, raw sex, groping I guess
Disclaimer: all featured characters are depicted as adults
Gojo would never admit it. He loves to think of himself as the carefree type, one confident enough not to fear other men stealing you away from him. However, he is also very much aware of how hot you are, and he can’t help but count heads turning when you stroll down the street, your arm securely hooked around his. You pretend not to hear his teeth gritting and not to notice the way he possessively circles an arm around your waist to keep you closer to him. He’s not jealous, they’re just too damn greedy.
Geto’s eyes immediately darken as soon as he catches sight of another man looming over you at the club. They’re awfully bold, honestly, considering you’re usually already grinding against him as they confidently approach the scene. As soon as the poor things meet his gaze from over your shoulder they’re able to catch a glimpse of the silent threat hidden within them. But he’s not satisfied with just that. No, he carefully snakes an arm around your waist, his palm shamelessly spreading across your belly to make them unequivocally aware of who you belong to. And if they still dare touch you, then they deserve what’s coming to them.
Toji acts cold. He freezes you out until he can have you as he properly wants. Whatever he’s had to endure while out with you, whether it be yearning looks from other men eating you up with their eyes or you exchanging words with way too lustful strangers in lousy bars, he patiently waits for you two to be alone to vent it out. As soon as you’re past the threshold of your apartment he slams you against the wall and claims your lips in a heated kiss. He takes you raw that night because he can, making you moan his name so loud that you’re sure the whole building can hear. That’s what you get, after all, for putting him in such misery all night.
Megumi’s not the type to get jealous. He knows how beautiful you are, and he loves the way boys look at you whenever they notice, too. He’s not scared of such attention, as long as you’re not bothered by it. His only response to the occurrence is to provide the comfort of his presence whenever it makes you feel somewhat uncomfortable. It always does the trick to pull you flush against his chest and start peppering sweet, passionate kisses down your neck, driving looks away and shifting your attention back to where it ultimately belongs: to him.
Yuuji’s not possessive in the slightest. He knows that you easily draw the attention of other men, and he’s okay with it. However, from time to time he does get a bit insecure about it. He wonders if you could find someone to satisfy you better than he can, if you would leave him were that to ever happen. That’s when he comes looking for cuddles and pitifully pouts at you as he asks “ You love me, right?”. You can’t help but chuckle at the display, affectionately bumping your nose on his before answering him “ Only you, always”. It’s enough to dissipate any lingering doubt, enough to make him playfully nuzzle his face in the crook of your neck and inhale in your scent.
Nanami’s fully confident in your loyalty, that’s never been a matter of concern to him. However, as soon as anyone tries to do anything even remotely disrespectful in your regards he feels compelled to step in, first and foremost politely asking them to back off. Unfortunately, sometimes that doesn’t work, and considering the size of the man, you’re dumbfounded by how often he’s got to resort to the second option. Let’s just say none of the boys that have made him go with it have left his sight unscathed.
Sukuna’s not so much jealous as he is proud to showcase you around. You're always the prettiest girl at any part he takes you to, and it shows in the way jaws immediately drop to the floor as soon as you walk by. He’s happy to circle his arm around your shoulder and dive into deep make-out sessions in front of anyone who dares look at you as if you were up for the taking. You’re his alone, and if the hickies covering your neck are not enough to make them stay away, then he’ll make sure to give them a little show by shoving his tongue in your mouth instead.
So what about the way they kiss you?
What gets them going?
And what pet names do they use the most?
What about AOT men?
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theonottsbxtch · 3 months ago
Note
hiiii i loved ur CL fics sm I was wondering if you could write angst of LN inspired by the song Casual by chappel roan?😭 feel free to ignore this req though!!💕 love u
CASUAL | LN4
an: this is TOTALLY not based off personal experience and TOTALLY didn't make me cry writing it, i poured two years worth of bullshit into this i hope you enjoy it. one of these scenes actually happened try and guess which one AND TO MAKE IT WORST I WAS THE JOURNALIST AND HE WAS THE SPORTS PLAYER ANYWAY
wc: 10.2k
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Present Time
The city lights blurred through the rain-streaked window of the sleek black cab, each droplet a reminder of how tonight had unravelled into something far too complicated. She sat back against the worn leather seat, her fingers unconsciously tapping the small notebook resting in her lap. She hadn’t written a word.
She shouldn’t have agreed to this interview. That much was clear now. But when her editor had mentioned his name, her chest had tightened. It had been a year—no, closer to two—since the last time she’d seen him in person. But when you cover Formula 1, you don’t escape the shadow of Lando Norris for long. Especially this season. And here she was, his shadow pulling her back in, as if those tangled months had never happened.
The cab slowed, pulling up to a luxury hotel that had never seemed like Lando’s style—until it did. The polished, impersonal grandeur, the kind that screamed you were too famous, too fast to belong anywhere at all. The driver mumbled something about rain, but she barely heard him. She was too busy staring at the figure that had just appeared through the entrance. Tall, broad-shouldered, and effortlessly leaning against a pillar, Lando’s expression was hard to read, even from here. His trademark black leather jacket hung off him like a second skin. She remembered that jacket. She remembered far too much.
He spotted her through the rain, those piercing green eyes locking onto hers with the same intensity that had once sent her world spinning. For a moment, time seemed to slip backward, to late nights and whispered arguments, to hotel rooms where neither of them had belonged.
She swallowed hard and pushed the car door open. She wasn’t here for that. This was just work now. An interview, a piece for tomorrow’s newspaper. Nothing more. Lando had made it clear a long time ago that they were nothing more.
She stepped out into the rain, the cool drops on her skin grounding her just enough. Lando didn’t move, but his gaze followed her like a predator’s, waiting to strike.
"Long time no see," he called out as she approached, his voice low and edged with something she couldn’t quite place. 
She flinched at his voice, directed towards her. Like it had all been some fleeting game, some disposable moment. The thing was, she had been the one who’d tried to keep it light, who’d pretended she didn’t care. But Lando had always seen through her. And now, she wondered if he could still see what a mess she was beneath the practised professionalism.
"Yeah," she forced a tight smile, trying to pretend that his voice didn’t sting. "Just work, Lando. Let’s keep it that way."
He raised an eyebrow, a smirk curling the corner of his lips. “If you say so.” He said it like a challenge, like they both knew this wasn’t just a story for either of them.
She held her breath, her heart pounding far too hard for someone who had promised herself she was over this. Over him.
But deep down, she already knew the truth: there was nothing casual about Lando Norris. There never had been.
Two Years Ago
It had been a suffocatingly hot afternoon at the Austin Grand Prix. The sun hung heavy in the sky, the smell of burning rubber thick in the air as engines roared, and tension crackled around the circuit. But none of that had mattered when she was with Lando.
Just minutes before, she’d been in his driver’s room, his body tangled with hers, skin still warm from the way their desperation had collided. It had been fast, rough—like all the moments they’d stolen in between races. And for a fleeting second, she had believed that maybe this time was different. Maybe this time, he’d let her in.
But as she stepped into the paddock, adjusting her shirt and fixing her hair, she heard his voice, sharp and careless, coming from around the corner. She should have walked away. But curiosity, or maybe the sick need to hear, pulled her closer.
"I don't know, man," Lando’s laugh broke through the air like glass. "It’s casual. She’s just another girl. You know how it is."
She froze, her breath catching in her throat. She pressed herself against the wall, just out of sight, the words slicing through her. Just another girl.
She heard the other driver—was it Pierre? Or maybe Charles—murmur something back, his voice muffled, like it didn’t matter. Nothing anyone else said mattered after that.
All she could focus on was Lando. The way he spoke about her as if the last hour hadn’t happened. As if they hadn’t just been in his room, their bodies and hearts closer than they had ever dared admit out loud.
Her stomach twisted violently, shame and anger rising in her chest. How could he act like that? Like none of it meant anything? Like she didn’t mean anything?
She pushed herself off the wall, her heart hammering. She had to leave, get out of here before the flood of emotions swallowed her whole. But just as she turned the corner, she came face-to-face with someone who could unravel her even more.
Lando’s mother, Cisca Norris, stood in front of her, a soft smile breaking across her face the second she saw her .
“Darling, it’s been too long,” Cisca’s voice was warm, so achingly kind, as she pulled her into an embrace.
She wanted to scream, wanted to cry, wanted to run, but instead, she wrapped her arms around Cisca and tried not to let the tears fall. Cisca held her like she was more than just another journalist, more than just another girl passing through Lando’s life. The woman had always been good to her, always treated her with affection that felt too close to motherly.
She couldn’t break now. Not in front of Cisca.
“Yeah, it has,” she managed, her voice thin as she pulled back and forced a smile. Her chest was burning, her throat tight. Cisca’s eyes searched her face with that kind of intuition only mothers had. She must’ve known something was wrong, but she didn’t ask.
“You should come by later,” Cisca continued, still holding her hands in hers. “Dinner with the family. It’ll be nice.”
She nodded, her vision blurring as she made some excuse, something about needing to finish a story. Cisca finally released her, her touch lingering as if she could sense the storm brewing inside her.
The second Cisca was gone, her composure cracked. She made her way to the bathroom, her legs unsteady as the pain crashed over her in waves. She locked herself in a stall, her back pressed against the cold tile wall, and finally let out the breath she had been holding.
She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to erase the image of Lando’s smirk, the sound of his voice when he had so casually discarded her like she was nothing.
She had always known it couldn’t last, that Lando wasn’t the kind of man to settle down, least of all with someone like her. But hearing it like that—hearing him reduce everything they had been to something so meaningless—tore something inside her she hadn’t even known was fragile.
She thought of Cisca, of the warmth in her embrace, and it only made the ache worse. There was no pretending now, no saving face. The line between Lando’s world and her own was more jagged than ever. She didn’t belong, not here, not with him.
She had barely pieced herself together by the time she left the bathroom stall. Her reflection in the mirror looked foreign, hollow-eyed and shaky, her hands gripping the counter as if the world beneath her feet might give way. But she didn’t have time to fall apart. Not here. Not now.
The media pen was bustling with the usual post-qualifying chaos—drivers weaving between journalists, cameras pointed in every direction, reporters asking the same rehearsed questions. She’d done this a hundred times, and today should have been no different. But today, every movement felt like it was being held together by string, and she was one breath away from snapping.
As soon as she arrived, her producer, Mark, waved her over, holding up the microphone with a nod. She forced a smile, plastering on the face she always wore when the cameras were rolling. She could do this. She had to do this.
Lando was already there, standing with a few other journalists, casually leaning against the fence like he hadn’t just torn her heart in half an hour ago. He looked almost too relaxed, that signature smirk playing on his lips. When his eyes met hers, something in them flickered—like he knew. Like he could see how fragile she was, and he wasn’t about to make it any easier.
"Hey," Lando drawled as she approached, his voice low and smooth. He flashed her a grin, the one that used to make her stomach flip. Now, it only twisted the knife.
She kept her face neutral, gripping the microphone a little tighter. "Lando," she said, her voice steady despite the storm brewing inside. "You had a solid qualifying. What are your thoughts heading into tomorrow’s race?"
He tilted his head, his gaze never leaving hers. "Oh, you know," he said, his tone almost playful. "Feeling good. Always do when I’ve got the right motivation." He winked, just subtle enough that the cameras wouldn’t pick it up, but she caught it. And she hated that her heart still skipped at the sight.
She fought to keep her composure, swallowing hard as she moved on to the next question, doing her best to keep it professional. But every answer Lando gave was laced with innuendo, his eyes lingering on her in ways that felt too personal. Too raw. She wanted to scream at him, to tell him to stop playing games, to stop acting like everything between them was fine when she was barely holding it together.
"Alright, thanks for your time," she said, ending the interview with a tight smile as the camera finally cut. Her hand was shaking, the adrenaline rushing through her veins like fire. She needed to get out of here. Fast.
But before she could move, Lando stepped closer, his breath warm against her ear. "Sweetheart," he murmured, his voice so quiet no one else could hear. "I'll meet you at the hotel later?"
She stiffened, her entire body tensing. She turned to look at him, her eyes wide, disbelief flooding her chest. How could he be so casual, so careless? Did he really think she’d just meet him after what she overheard? After the way he’d reduced her to nothing?
Lando’s fingers brushed against hers, and for a split second, he took her hand, bringing it to his lips. The touch sent a jolt of electricity through her, just like it always did. He kissed her hand gently, like nothing had changed. Like he hadn’t just broken her in two.
She yanked her hand away, her breath catching as the pain clawed at her chest. She couldn't do this. Not again. She forced a small, tight-lipped smile, nodding as if she was agreeing, but inside, her heart was shattering all over again.
"I’ve got to—" she started, her voice cracking slightly as she turned back to Mark, her producer. "I need to go. Tell them I’ll be back later."
Mark frowned, concerned. "You alright?"
"Yeah, I’m fine," she lied, her throat tightening as she backed away, already feeling the tears pressing against her eyes. "Just… something came up."
Without waiting for his reply, she slipped through the crowd, moving faster now, desperate to get out of the media pen, away from the cameras, away from him. She barely made it around the corner before the sob hit her, choking her breath, her chest heaving as she pressed her back against the wall, her hands trembling.
She couldn’t hold it in anymore. The tears spilled over, hot and heavy, her body shaking as she gasped for air. How could he do this to her? How could he look at her like that, touch her like that, after treating her like she meant nothing?
She tried to steady herself, wiping furiously at her face, but the more she tried to hold it together, the more everything crumbled.
"Is that you?" A familiar voice cut through the fog, and she looked up, blinking through her tears to see Oscar standing just a few feet away. His brow furrowed in concern, his normally playful demeanour replaced by something much more serious.
"Oscar," she croaked, her voice barely a whisper. She tried to pull herself together, to stand up straighter, but it was no use. The floodgates had opened, and there was no stopping it now.
He stepped closer, his expression softening as he realised what was happening. "Hey, hey, it’s okay," Oscar said gently, his hand resting on her shoulder. "Come on, let’s get you out of here."
She shook her head, embarrassed, ashamed that anyone had to see her like this. "I’m fine, I just—"
"You’re not fine," Oscar cut her off, his voice kind but firm. "Let’s get you somewhere quiet, okay? You don’t have to pretend with me."
She nodded, her vision still blurred with tears as Oscar guided her away from the chaos of the paddock, his arm around her shoulders, his presence steady and warm. She didn’t have the strength to protest, not now.
For once, she didn’t have to hold it all together. And maybe, just for a moment, that was enough.
Oscar’s arm was strong around her shoulders, a steadying force as he led her away from the paddock, away from the media pen, and away from the chaos of her unravelling thoughts. She didn’t resist, couldn’t find the energy to argue, not with the weight of everything crashing down around her. She was barely holding herself together, her body trembling, her breath hitching with every step.
They walked in silence through the back corridors of the paddock, Oscar casting glances at her every few moments, his brow furrowed with concern but not pushing her to speak. When they reached the quiet of his driver’s room, he opened the door without a word, guiding her inside gently.
She wiped at her face again, trying to compose herself, but the tears wouldn’t stop. She felt exposed, like her heart was laid bare for anyone to see, and the shame of it was almost as painful as the heartbreak itself.
“Sit down,” Oscar said softly, leading her to the small couch in the corner of the room. “You don’t have to talk. Just breathe, okay?”
She nodded, sinking into the couch, her hands still trembling in her lap. Oscar crouched down in front of her, his gaze soft and full of something like understanding.
Before either of them could speak, the door to the room opened again, and she looked up to see Oscar’s girlfriend, Lily, stepping inside. Her eyes widened as she took in the scene—her  tear-streaked face, Oscar’s protective stance—and immediately crossed the room to join them.
“Oh, sweetheart…” Lily’s voice was full of sympathy as she sat beside her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "What happened?"
She shook her head, her throat tightening, unable to form the words. She didn’t want to say it out loud. Didn’t want to admit that Lando still had this kind of power over her.
Lily didn’t press her, just held her closer, rubbing soothing circles on her back. “It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything.”
Oscar sat beside them now, his gaze serious as he leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees. “Lando?” he asked quietly, and her silence was enough of an answer.
She sniffed, trying to hold back another sob, but the pain was too sharp, too fresh. She’d overheard Lando brush her off like she was nothing. And then he had the audacity to act like everything was fine, like they could just pick up where they left off—like it didn’t matter that she was breaking.
Lily exchanged a look with Oscar, her eyes narrowing in frustration. “Darling,” she said gently, turning toward her, “you can’t keep doing this to yourself. He’s… he’s not good for you.”
She swallowed hard, blinking back fresh tears. “I know,” she whispered, her voice barely audible.
But knowing didn’t make it any easier. Knowing didn’t stop her heart from racing every time she saw him, didn’t stop the ache she felt when he touched her, when he looked at her with that smug confidence that twisted her insides. She had told herself so many times that she needed to stop. But every time she tried to pull away, she got sucked back in—into the whirlwind that was Lando Norris.
Oscar sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. “He’s using you, mate. You deserve better than this. Better than him.”
She flinched at the words. She had thought, once, that Lando could be more than what everyone said he was. She had thought, in those stolen moments between races, when it was just the two of them, that he felt something for her, too. But she couldn’t ignore it any longer. He didn’t. Not the way she wanted him to.
Lily squeezed her hand gently. “You need to end it,” she said softly but firmly. “For good. Before he hurts you any more than he already has.”
She knew they were right. Oscar and Lily had always been kind to her, more like family than colleagues. They had seen it from the outside—the way Lando toyed with her emotions, the way he pulled her close only to push her away when it suited him.
She inhaled shakily, her heart still aching, but there was a flicker of something else now. A quiet, growing resolve. She couldn’t keep letting Lando tear her apart, not like this. She couldn’t keep waiting for him to change, for him to see her the way she wanted to be seen.
“He’s not worth this,” Oscar added, his voice gentle but firm. “I know he’s my teammate but you deserve someone who’s actually going to be there for you. Not someone who makes you feel like you have to hide how much you care.”
She closed her eyes for a moment, letting their words sink in. She knew they were right. She had known for a long time, but it was easier to lie to herself, to believe that maybe, just maybe, this time would be different. That Lando would show up for her, the way she had always shown up for him.
Lily’s arm tightened around her shoulders, her voice soft but steady. “Darling, you don’t have to do this alone. We’ve got you.”
She nodded, her throat tightening again, but this time it wasn’t from the heartbreak. It was from the quiet understanding, the sense that maybe, for the first time in a long while, she wasn’t as alone as she had felt.
She sat there for a while, letting Lily and Oscar’s presence anchor her. They didn’t push her to talk more, didn’t force her to explain everything. They just let her breathe, let her fall apart without judgement.
And for a moment, she felt the weight on her chest lift just enough to see things clearly.
She knew she shouldn’t go meet him in that hotel room. She knew it had to end. For good.
But she went back.
She went back to the hotel room, even though every part of her knew she shouldn’t. She told herself she was just going to tell him it was over, that she couldn’t do this anymore. She told herself that she wasn’t going to let him pull her back in.
But the second she walked through the door and saw Lando standing there, leaning casually against the desk with that damn smile—like he’d been waiting for her, like she was exactly what he wanted—her resolve crumbled.
“Hey, you,” he said softly, his voice warm in that way it always was when they were alone. He pushed off the desk and crossed the room in a few easy strides, pulling her into his arms before she could even think about saying no. “Missed you.”
She froze for a moment, her body tense in his arms. She wanted to believe him, wanted to sink into the comfort of his touch. But her mind was screaming at her to remember, to think of what she had overheard in the paddock. She’s just another girl. His voice echoed in her head, sharp and cruel, even as he held her close now, as if she was anything but.
“I thought about you all day,” Lando murmured against her hair, his lips brushing her forehead. His hands slid down her back, pulling her closer, and she couldn’t help but shiver under his touch. He had always known how to touch her, how to make her forget everything else.
She wished it was enough.
He tilted her chin up, his green eyes searching hers, and for a second, she saw something there—something real, something that made her heart ache with the hope that maybe, just maybe, he meant it this time.
But then the words he’d said to his mates resurfaced, slicing through her like a knife. It’s casual. She’s just another girl.
Her throat tightened, but she forced a small smile. She had come this far, hadn’t she? Why couldn’t she just leave now?
Because you want him to care, a voice in her head whispered. You want to believe he’s different when it’s just the two of you.
Lando pressed his lips to hers, slow and sweet, like he wasn’t in a hurry, like he could take all the time in the world with her. And for a moment, she kissed him back, letting herself get lost in it, letting herself pretend that maybe the things he said didn’t matter. That maybe this was the real Lando—the one who held her close, the one who kissed her like she was the only thing that mattered.
But the more he kissed her, the harder it was to silence the voice in her head. The harder it was to ignore the truth that was gnawing at her.
You’re just another girl. It’s casual.
His hands slid under her shirt, fingers tracing soft patterns on her skin, and she shivered again, but this time it wasn’t just from his touch. She couldn’t stop thinking about how he had reduced her to nothing more than a fleeting moment in his life, something disposable. It didn’t matter how tender he was being now. It didn’t matter how much she wanted to believe that this was something real.
“Lando,” she whispered, pulling back slightly, her chest tightening. She didn’t know what she was going to say, but she knew she needed to say something—anything—to stop herself from falling deeper.
He smiled at her, that lazy, cocky grin that always made her knees weak. “What is it, baby?” he asked, his hands never leaving her, like he couldn’t bear the distance between them for even a second.
She wanted to ask him. She wanted to confront him, to make him explain why he could hold her like this but talk about her like she was nothing when she wasn’t around. But the words stuck in her throat, too heavy, too painful.
Instead, she let out a shaky breath and shook her head. “Nothing. It’s nothing.”
Lando’s gaze lingered on her for a moment, like he was trying to read her, but then he kissed her again, deeper this time, and any chance she had of stopping this slipped away. His hands slid down to her hips, pulling her flush against him, his breath hot against her neck as his lips moved lower, kissing along her jaw, her collarbone.
And for a second, she let herself get lost in it, let herself drown in the sensation of his touch, the way his hands felt on her skin, the way he knew exactly where to kiss her to make her forget everything else.
But the words kept creeping back in, no matter how hard she tried to push them away.
Just another girl.
Lando’s hands were working their way under her shirt, his fingers brushing the bare skin of her waist, and her heart pounded in her chest, but not in the way it used to. Now, it was pounding with fear, with the knowledge that this would never be enough.
He was whispering something against her skin, something low and sweet, but she couldn’t hear it over the roar of her own thoughts. She felt his hands tugging at the hem of her shirt, and she let him pull it over her head, let him kiss her again, harder this time, like he couldn’t get enough of her.
But she wasn’t really there. Not fully.
In her mind, she was back in the paddock, hearing his laugh, hearing him reduce her to nothing. The way he talked to his friends—so casual, so careless.
Her body responded to him, the way it always did, but her mind was miles away. She was too distracted, too hurt to fully give herself to him the way she always had before. She wanted to be here, wanted to feel that connection again, but it wasn’t working. Not this time.
Lando didn’t notice. He never noticed when she was pulling away, not really. He was too focused on what he wanted, too caught up in the moment to see the cracks forming in her resolve.
As he pushed her back onto the bed, his lips trailing down her stomach, her heart twisted painfully. She should stop this. She should say something. But she didn’t.
Because as much as she hated it, as much as it hurt, part of her still wanted to believe in the version of Lando that was in front of her right now. The version that kissed her like she was the only girl in the world.
Even if she knew it was a lie.
The hours passed in a blur, a mixture of whispered words, shared breaths, and touches that felt both familiar and distant at the same time. She lay beside Lando afterward, her body nestled against his, her head resting on his chest as his arm wrapped lazily around her. He pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head, like this was where she belonged. Like nothing outside this room mattered.
But it did.
The silence between them felt heavier now, thick with unspoken truths and the weight of everything she wasn’t letting herself say. She listened to the steady rhythm of Lando’s heartbeat under her ear, trying to ground herself in the moment, trying to make it feel real. But her mind kept drifting back to his words—just another girl—and no matter how close he held her, it felt like he was slipping further and further away.
For a moment, it almost felt peaceful, lying there in the quiet of the hotel room, their legs tangled together under the sheets. Lando’s fingers traced absent-minded patterns on her arm, like it was second nature to him now. She wanted to hold onto that feeling, wanted to believe that this, at least, was real.
But then his phone buzzed on the nightstand, cutting through the stillness.
Lando sighed softly, shifting beside her as he reached for it. She felt the absence of his warmth immediately, and the hollow ache in her chest returned.
He glanced at the screen, his thumb swiping across it before he answered. "Hey, mate," he said, his voice low, casual. Like the moment they’d just shared didn’t change anything, like nothing had shifted.
She stared up at the ceiling, her breath catching in her throat as she listened to the one-sided conversation.
“Yeah, I’m at the hotel,” Lando continued, his tone easy, unconcerned. “What’s up?”
There was a pause, and she felt Lando shift again, his hand brushing absently against her bare skin of her hip as if he wasn’t even fully aware of her presence anymore.
"Alright, yeah," he said after a moment. "I’ll come down in a bit. Dinner sounds good." He laughed softly, the sound sending another pang through her chest. "Tell Max not to leave without me."
When he hung up, Lando turned his head to look at her, flashing her that easy, crooked smile. "That was the guys," he said, already starting to untangle himself from the sheets. "We’re heading out for dinner."
She forced a small smile, trying to keep her voice steady. "Right. Yeah. Sounds fun."
Lando leaned over, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead before climbing out of bed. He moved with the same casual confidence he always did, completely unaware of the storm raging inside her.
"I won’t be long," he said as he pulled on his shirt. "Maybe I’ll bring you something back."
She just nodded, unable to find the words. She watched him button his jeans, the same knot of confusion and hurt tightening in her chest. How could he act like everything was so simple? Like she was just… there, waiting for him whenever he decided to come back.
Lando tossed a quick grin her way as he grabbed his jacket from the chair. "I’ll see you later, yeah?"
"Yeah," she whispered, her voice barely audible. "See you later."
And just like that, he was gone, the door clicking shut behind him. The room felt so much bigger without him in it, the space beside her cold and empty. She stayed there for a moment, staring up at the ceiling, her thoughts spinning, trying to make sense of everything. But the more she tried to piece it together, the more it felt like everything was unravelling.
The sound of her phone vibrating on the nightstand snapped her out of her thoughts. She glanced over, her heart skipping a beat when she saw the name flash on the screen: Cisca Norris.
She hesitated for a moment before swiping open the message.
Hey, darling! We’re heading out for a little shopping trip tomorrow. Just me and Flo. Thought it might be fun to have some girl time—want to join us? xx
Her breath caught in her throat, her eyes stinging as she read the message. Cisca had always been so warm, so welcoming, treating her like she was part of the family. She had this way of making her feel like she belonged, like there was a place for her in Lando’s world.
But it only made everything harder now.
She could still hear Lando’s voice in her head, so clear, so dismissive. It’s casual. She’s just another girl.
Her hands trembled as she typed out a response, her fingers shaky on the keys.
Thanks, but I don’t think I can tomorrow. Hope you all have fun though xx
She hit send before she could change her mind, before she could give in to the crushing weight of guilt pressing down on her chest. She knew Cisca didn’t mean to make it harder, didn’t know what was really going on, but it felt like a cruel reminder of everything she wasn’t—a real part of his life. She was just someone he kept in the shadows, someone he could pretend to care about when it was convenient.
The tears came before she could stop them, hot and relentless, blurring her vision as she lay there, staring up at the ceiling. She’d tried so hard to hold it together, to convince herself that maybe, just maybe, things would be different this time. But it wasn’t different. It was the same as it always was.
Lando would leave, and she would be left behind.
She lay there, her body still against the cool sheets, the emptiness of the room pressing in on her. The tears wouldn’t stop. They spilled down her cheeks in silent waves, and for the first time in a long while, she didn’t even try to hold them back. The room felt too quiet without Lando’s presence, without the pretence of connection he so easily crafted when it suited him.
Her phone buzzed again, a small ping echoing in the quiet. She didn’t want to look, didn’t want to face any more reminders of what she couldn’t have. But her gaze drifted toward it, her blurry vision focusing on the screen as a new message from Cisca popped up.
That’s a shame, sweetheart. Maybe next time? You’re always welcome with us. Big hugs xx
The kindness in the message felt like a punch to her gut. You’re always welcome. But how could she ever feel welcome in a world where Lando could say one thing to her face and another behind her back? How could she fit into the life of someone who treated her like she was disposable—like she was nothing special?
She clutched her phone in her hands, her knuckles white, as her tears continued to fall. Her mind replayed the moment in the paddock, hearing Lando laugh, hearing him reduce her to just another girl, nothing more than a casual fling. And yet, here she was—back in his hotel room, back in his bed—still hoping that maybe he would see her, really see her, the way she saw him.
Her chest tightened painfully as she stared up at the ceiling, the dull ache spreading through her like poison. She had tried so hard to be strong, to keep her distance, to protect herself from this exact feeling. But it was like Lando had a hold on her, one she couldn’t break no matter how much she knew she should.
She wiped at her face, trying to steady her breathing, but the sobs kept coming. She couldn’t stop thinking about the way Cisca treated her like family, like someone who belonged in their tight-knit circle. It was so different from how Lando treated her—warm and genuine. It made it worse, somehow, knowing that his family liked her, that they welcomed her, while he just kept her at arm’s length. It hurt in ways she hadn’t expected.
She curled up on her side, pulling the sheets tighter around her, as if they could shield her from the truth. She had been waiting for a moment like this, where Lando would be kind, where he would hold her, and she would feel safe. But no matter how close they were, she always felt that distance. He’d given her his body, sure, but nothing else. And she’d given him everything, every piece of herself, only to be left empty.
She pressed the back of her hand against her mouth, trying to muffle the sobs that were choking her. Her body shook with the force of it all, the heartbreak, the shame, the overwhelming feeling of being used and discarded. She had always been so careful in her life, always kept her guard up, but Lando had slipped past her defences with such ease.
The minutes ticked by, the silence of the hotel room swallowing her whole. She stared at the ceiling, the tears finally slowing but leaving a hollow ache in their wake. Lando would be downstairs by now, laughing with his mates, carefree, as if none of this mattered. As if she didn’t matter.
Her phone buzzed again, and she flinched, afraid it might be him—afraid that any text from him would pull her deeper into this pit she was already drowning in. But when she looked, it wasn’t him. It was Lily.
Hey, just checking in. Everything okay? Xx
She swallowed hard, the lump in her throat making it impossible to answer right away. Lily had been so kind to her earlier, so gentle, and part of her wanted to reach out, to tell her the truth, to admit that she had come here even after she knew she shouldn’t.
But how could she explain this? How could she tell Lily that, even after everything, even after Lando had made it clear she didn’t mean anything to him, she had still come back? She had still fallen for his charm, for his soft touches, for his empty words.
Her fingers hovered over the keyboard, uncertain of what to say. The shame felt too heavy, too consuming. She didn’t want anyone to know how weak she felt, how much she had let Lando hurt her.
Instead, she typed a short reply.
I’m okay. Thanks for checking in xx
She hit send before she could second-guess herself, the lie sitting heavy in her chest. She wasn’t okay. She hadn’t been okay for a long time.
Another tear slid down her cheek, and she wiped it away quickly, frustrated with herself for still crying over someone like Lando. He wasn’t worth it. He never had been.
But knowing that didn’t make it hurt any less.
The bed felt cold without him, even though she knew his warmth was only temporary. That was the thing with Lando—it was always temporary, always fleeting. And she was tired of pretending it wasn’t.
She pulled her phone closer, her thumb hovering over Lando’s contact. She thought about sending him a message, thought about telling him that this was the last time, that she couldn’t do it anymore. But she knew that he wouldn’t care. He’d smile, maybe say something sweet, and she’d fall right back into his orbit, trapped by the promise of something that would never come.
With a shaky breath, she dropped the phone onto the nightstand, rolling onto her back once again. The tears had stopped, but the ache remained. She closed her eyes, willing herself to sleep, to forget, just for a few hours. But she knew that when morning came, the reality would still be there—Lando would still be Lando.
And she couldn’t keep doing this to herself.
She got out of bed and she tried.
She had tried to pack. She really had.
She had grabbed her suitcase, tossed in a few clothes, and told herself that it was over—that this would be the last time she’d let him do this to her.
But then she’d stopped, staring at the half-packed bag, her hands frozen mid-motion. She couldn’t bring herself to finish. The idea of leaving felt like admitting defeat, like walking away from the small, fragile hope she’d been clinging to. The hope that maybe, just maybe, Lando would change.
And so, she had left the suitcase open on the floor, unfinished, just like everything else between them.
The hours dragged by in painful silence. She sat on the edge of the bed, her eyes unfocused as she stared at the door. She should go. She should pick up her things and leave before Lando came back, before he could draw her in again with his soft smiles and casual charm.
But she stayed.
She stayed because part of her wanted him to come back. Wanted him to kiss her, hold her, make her feel like she wasn’t just another girl, like she actually meant something. Even though she knew it was a lie.
Her phone buzzed a few times on the nightstand, but she ignored it. She didn’t want to deal with anyone else right now—didn’t want to answer Lily’s worried texts or face the concern in her friends’ voices. They didn’t understand. They didn’t know what it felt like to be caught between wanting someone and knowing that they would never give you what you needed.
The sound of the door clicking open snapped her out of her thoughts, her heart jumping into her throat. Lando stepped into the room, the faint scent of alcohol and laughter clinging to him as he kicked off his shoes. He looked relaxed, like he’d had a good time, like the night out had done exactly what it was supposed to—take his mind off things.
“Hey, you,” he said with a smile as he spotted her still sitting on the bed. He held up a brown paper bag, a familiar logo stamped on the side. “Brought you something to eat. Thought you might be hungry.”
She stared at him, her stomach twisting at how easy it was for him. A quick thought passed her mind, wondering what he had said to his mates when he brought home some takeaway. He acted like nothing had happened, like everything was fine. She wanted to be angry, wanted to ask him how he could do this—how he could come back here, act so normal, after everything he’d said about her.
But she couldn’t. The anger was there, buried deep inside her, but it was swallowed by the familiar pull of Lando’s presence. She hated how he could disarm her with something as simple as a smile, hated how even now, after everything, part of her wanted to reach out and take the food he’d brought, to thank him, to let herself believe that maybe this was him showing that he cared, in his own way.
“Thanks,” she murmured, her voice hollow.
Lando crossed the room and set the bag on the nightstand before sitting down beside her on the bed. He leaned in, brushing a kiss against her temple, his hand resting on her knee as if it was the most natural thing in the world.
Her breath hitched at the contact, her heart betraying her as it fluttered in her chest. She thought of the highs, the way Lando could make her feel so alive, so wanted. She thought of the times when it was just the two of them, when he would hold her and everything else would disappear. Those were the moments that kept her here, that made her stay, even when she knew she shouldn’t.
“You okay?” he asked softly, his voice tinged with just enough concern to make her believe, for a second, that he might actually care.
She forced a smile, nodding even though she felt anything but okay. “Yeah,” she whispered. “I’m fine.”
Lando’s hand slid up her arm, his fingers gentle as they traced her skin. He leaned in, pressing a kiss to her lips, slow and deliberate, as if he was trying to remind her of the connection they shared. And for a moment, she let herself get lost in it. She let herself believe that this was real, that Lando’s touch meant something more than just the physical.
“I’m gonna hop in the shower,” Lando said after a few seconds, pulling away with a lazy grin. “I won’t be long.”
She nodded, watching as he disappeared into the bathroom, the sound of the water starting up a moment later. She stayed where she was, her mind racing. The kiss had been warm, familiar, but it wasn’t enough to chase away the doubts, the pain that had been building inside her all night.
With a sigh, she glanced toward Lando’s phone, which he had tossed carelessly onto the bed before heading into the shower. The screen lit up with a notification, and despite herself, her eyes flicked over to it.
It was a text. From one of Lando’s friends.
You’re staying with her? Has she not got the hint yet?
Her blood turned to ice.
The air seemed to leave the room all at once, and she felt like she couldn’t breathe. The message stared back at her, mocking her, confirming everything she had been trying so desperately to ignore.
Has she not got the hint yet?
Her throat tightened, tears welling in her eyes again as the words sank in. Lando’s friend was in on it—on this twisted game Lando was playing. He knew. They all knew. And still, Lando had brought her back here, kissed her like she meant something, only to laugh about it with his mates behind her back.
Her hands trembled as she set Lando’s phone back down, her vision blurring with fresh tears. She couldn’t do this anymore. She couldn’t keep pretending that this was okay, that she was okay. Lando didn’t care about her. He never had.
The sound of the water running in the bathroom felt distant, like it was coming from another world, another life. She sat there, her mind numb, her heart breaking all over again. She should’ve left. She should’ve finished packing her bag and walked out of that door the moment Lando left for dinner. But she hadn’t.
And now she was paying the price.
Lando emerged from the bathroom with a towel wrapped loosely around his waist, his hair damp and tousled from the shower. Water still clung to his skin, the dim hotel light casting a glow across the muscles of his chest and arms. He looked every bit like the Lando that had drawn her in from the start—effortlessly attractive, with that air of confidence that always seemed to follow him.
She couldn’t deny it. He was beautiful. Anyone would fall for him at first glance, and she had. But now, as he stood there, looking every bit the part of the man she had once thought she could love, the attraction didn’t hold the same weight it used to.
Sure, he was magnetic, the kind of person who could pull you into his orbit with just a smile. But what had that really gotten her? A heart that was constantly breaking, and a life lived on the sidelines, waiting for scraps of affection. The price she paid for being with Lando wasn’t worth it anymore—not when every touch, every kiss, every whispered promise felt like it was laced with lies.
Her chest tightened as she picked up her phone from the nightstand, her fingers curling around it like it was her lifeline. She had to get out of here. She couldn’t sit here, pretending everything was okay, pretending that she didn’t see that message, didn’t know exactly what Lando’s friends thought of her. What he thought of her.
“I’m just going to get some cutlery from downstairs,” she said, her voice shaking slightly as she tried to move toward the door, away from him.
But Lando’s hand shot out, gently pulling her back before she could make her escape. His fingers wrapped around her wrist, and she could feel the warmth of his skin, the way his touch still made her heart stutter despite everything. His brows furrowed slightly, his eyes searching hers.
“You’ve been off lately,” he said, his tone soft but probing. “Is it work?”
Her heart raced, panic flooding her veins. He was looking at her like he was genuinely concerned, like he cared. But she knew better now. This was part of the game, part of the act he played so well. And she had to lie—because the truth would only expose just how far she’d fallen for him, how deep this had gone for her, and how little it had meant to him.
“Yeah,” she replied, forcing a weak smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “Work’s just been a lot lately.”
Lando’s grip on her wrist loosened, but his eyes didn’t leave hers. He leaned in slightly, his voice soft, almost affectionate. “You’d tell me if something was wrong, wouldn’t you?”
She swallowed hard, her throat tight as she fought back the storm of emotions threatening to spill over. She wanted to scream at him, to ask him how he could ask her that after everything—after the lies, after the way he’d treated her like she was nothing more than a fleeting distraction.
But instead, she did what she always did. She lied.
“Of course I would,” she said, the words tasting bitter as they left her lips.
Lando’s gaze lingered on her for a moment longer, his expression unreadable. Then, slowly, he let go of her wrist, his hand dropping back to his side. He smiled, that same easy, careless smile he always wore, and for a second, it almost felt like he believed her.
“Good,” he murmured, brushing a quick kiss against her temple before stepping back. “I’m glad.”
She nodded, her heart heavy in her chest as she forced herself to stay calm, to not let the cracks show. “I’ll just be a minute,” she mumbled, slipping away from him and heading for the door before he could stop her again.
As she stepped into the hallway, the air felt cooler, sharper, like a small relief from the suffocating warmth of Lando’s presence. She leaned against the wall for a moment, her phone still clenched tightly in her hand, her chest rising and falling with shallow breaths. Her mind was spinning, her heart aching with the weight of everything she couldn’t say.
She had lied to him. Lied to protect herself, to protect whatever was left of her dignity. But deep down, she knew the truth. She couldn’t keep doing this.
Not anymore.
She didn’t make it far before the tears started. Her steps slowed as the pressure in her chest became too much, the weight of everything crashing down on her all at once. She turned a corner in the hallway, eyes blurry and throat tight, searching for somewhere—anywhere—she could hide.
She spotted a door slightly ajar, marked with a plain “Staff Only” sign. Without thinking, she slipped inside, closing it behind her. It was a cramped janitor’s cupboard, the air thick with the smell of cleaning supplies and stale mop water. But it was quiet, dark, and, most importantly, away from Lando.
Her back hit the wall, and she slid down to the floor, curling in on herself as the sobs broke free. She covered her mouth with her hand, trying to muffle the sounds, but it was no use. The tears came in waves, the pain too raw, too overwhelming to control.
She hated herself for coming back, for believing, even for a moment, that things would be different. For letting him touch her, kiss her, knowing deep down that none of it meant what she wanted it to. And now, sitting alone in a janitor’s cupboard, hiding like a child, all she could think about was how foolish she’d been.
With shaking hands, she grabbed her phone, barely able to see the screen through the tears. She scrolled to Lily’s contact, hesitating for only a second before pressing the call button. It rang twice before Lily answered.
“Sweetheart?” Lily’s voice was soft but immediately laced with concern. “What’s going on? Are you okay?”
The floodgates broke, and she couldn’t stop the words from tumbling out, her voice a broken, shaky whisper. “I hate myself,” she sobbed, choking on the words. “I hate that I let him do this to me. I keep going back, Lily. I hate it. I hate me.”
“Where are you?” Lily’s tone shifted, calm but urgent. “Tell me where you are. I’m coming to you right now.”
She swallowed hard, trying to catch her breath enough to speak. “I... I’m in some janitor’s cupboard. Down the hall from Lando’s room. I—I didn’t know where else to go.”
“I’m coming, okay? Just stay there. I’ll be right there.”
She nodded even though Lily couldn’t see her, clutching the phone to her chest as she waited, her sobs quieting but still leaving her body shaking. She felt so small, so utterly broken. The seconds felt like hours, each one dragging by in painful silence.
It wasn’t long before there was a soft knock on the door, and she heard Lily’s voice. “Darling? It’s me. Can I come in?”
She reached up, her hand trembling as she unlocked the door. Lily slipped inside, her face full of concern as she quickly closed the door behind her, blocking out the world. Without saying a word, she knelt down beside her, wrapping her arms around her tightly.
She broke all over again the moment Lily held her. She clung to her friend, burying her face in her shoulder as the sobs wracked her body. Lily didn’t say anything at first. She just held her, her hand gently stroking her hair, her presence a quiet reassurance in the small, dark space.
“I’m so sorry,” she whispered through her tears. “I keep... I keep letting him hurt me, and I know I shouldn’t. I know it’s wrong, but I can’t stop. I hate myself for it.”
“Hey, no,” Lily said softly, pulling back just enough to look her in the eyes. “Don’t say that. You’re not the one who’s wrong here. He’s the one messing with your head, making you think this is normal. But it’s not your fault, okay? It’s not.”
She shook her head, the tears still falling. “I just feel so stupid. I saw a text from his friend... asking if I hadn’t gotten the hint yet. They know. They all know, and I’m still here, like some pathetic—”
“You’re not pathetic,” Lily interrupted, her voice firm but gentle. “You’re strong, darling. Stronger than you think. And I know it hurts right now, but you don’t deserve this. You deserve so much more than what Lando’s giving you.”
She tried to breathe, but her chest still felt tight, her mind spinning with shame and self-doubt. “I don’t know why I can’t just leave.”
Lily squeezed her hand, her eyes softening with understanding. “Because when someone gets into your head like that, it’s not easy to just walk away. He made you feel special, even if it was for the wrong reasons. But you’re not alone, darling. You’ve got me, you’ve got Oscar, and we’re not going anywhere. I’ll be here with you until you’re ready to leave, whenever that is.”
Her lip quivered, fresh tears welling in her eyes. She nodded, grateful but still lost in the ache that Lando had left behind. Lily’s words were like a balm, but the pain still sat heavy in her chest, raw and unresolved.
Lily leaned back, adjusting so that they were sitting side by side, their backs against the wall. She kept holding her hand, her thumb tracing soothing circles over her knuckles. “We can stay here as long as you need. You don’t have to face him right now. You don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for.”
She let out a shaky breath, closing her eyes as she leaned against Lily, her body still trembling from the tears. “But he hasn’t done anything wrong,” she murmured, trying to convince herself, even as the words tasted bitter. “He just... he just doesn’t know how I feel.”
Lily pulled back slightly, her gaze intense as she looked into her eyes. “Yes, he has. Don’t lie to yourself, sweetheart. It’s not just about what he’s done; it’s about how he makes you feel. And right now, you’re hurting, and that’s not okay. You deserve someone who cares about you, not someone who’s playing games.”
She bit her lip, frustration mixing with sadness. “I know, but...”
“No buts.” Lily interrupted, her voice steady. “You’re worth more than this. You don’t have to keep accepting less than you deserve. You know that, right?”
She nodded, but the ache in her chest remained, a stubborn reminder of the tangled mess of emotions that Lando had stirred inside her. She felt like she was being pulled in two different directions: her heart yearned for the connection she had with Lando, while her mind screamed for her to walk away, to protect herself from more pain.
“What if I just... went and got my things?” she whispered, almost to herself. “I could just—”
Lily shook her head firmly. “You shouldn’t have to do that alone. I can call Oscar and ask him to pick up your stuff from Lando’s. He’s supportive, and I’m sure he’d be more than happy to help.”
“Are you sure?” she asked hesitantly, the thought of involving Oscar making her heart race. “I don’t want to make things weird.”
“It’s not weird,” Lily said, her voice soothing. “It’s what friends do. You need to take the first step in reclaiming your space. Let’s get your things, and then we can figure out the next steps together. You don’t have to face this alone, and you don’t have to keep putting yourself through this.”
She nodded again, feeling a flicker of gratitude for Lily’s unwavering support. It felt good to have someone in her corner, someone who believed she could do better, even when she struggled to believe it herself.
“Okay,” she finally said, her voice steadier now. “Let’s do that.”
“Good,” Lily replied, squeezing her hand tightly. “I’ll get Oscar to come over. And remember, you’re stronger than you think.”
Present Time
Now, standing in front of him in the rain-soaked street, she wondered if he even remembered that day. If he had any idea how much it had gutted her. The memory felt like a ghost, haunting her thoughts, each painful recollection mingling with the cold raindrops cascading down her cheeks.
“Should we get started?” she said, her voice a little too sharp. The rain was mixing with the ache in her chest, and she wasn’t sure how much longer she could stand there, looking into those eyes that had once made her feel seen. Once. She hated that feeling of vulnerability he inspired, but even more, she hated the way it was fading.
Lando tilted his head, studying her with that signature smirk tugging at his lips. It was the same smirk that had once made her heart race, ignited her passion, and made her forget her own worth. But now, it only deepened the resolve she had built since their last encounter. There was a flint in his eyes, a spark that had once drawn her in, but she refused to let it affect her anymore. Those flames of desire he ignited had left her burnt before, and she wasn’t going to let it happen again.
“Yeah. Let’s get started,” he echoed, his voice smooth but tinged with a hint of something darker lurking beneath. She could sense it—an undercurrent of his charm that was both magnetic and dangerous.
They both knew this wasn’t just another interview. Not for him. Not for her.
But she wasn’t that girl anymore. She wouldn’t let him see her fall apart again. Not this time. Each raindrop felt like a reminder of her strength, a symbol of her resolve to stand firm against the tides of emotion that threatened to wash her away. She took a deep breath, grounding herself in the moment, and steeled her gaze against the storm brewing in her heart.
“Let’s talk about the last race,” she said, forcing her voice to steady. “You seemed to be struggling with the new tires. What do you think the team could do differently moving forward?”
Lando's brow furrowed, momentarily surprised by the shift in her tone. It was almost like he was used to her fawning over him, allowing his charisma to overshadow her professionalism. But not today. Not anymore.
He responded, launching into technical details, but she could see his focus drifting, his smirk slipping just a little as he searched her expression for any trace of the girl he had once known—the one who had been captivated by his every word. But he wouldn’t find her here, not today.
As he spoke, she fought to keep her expression neutral, not letting the echoes of their past seep into her demeanour. The way he moved, the way he gestured—there was still an effortless charm to him, but it was fading, like a sunset after a long day. She wasn’t here to be dazzled; she was here to reclaim her narrative, to make sure he understood that she had grown.
“Uh, sweeth-” he said suddenly, cutting himself off from finishing the per name she used to love, his tone shifting as he leaned closer, invading her personal space. “You seem… different. What’s going on?”
The intensity of his gaze was like a spotlight, and for a moment, she felt the familiar stir of emotions threatening to overwhelm her. But she clung to the memory of that cramped janitor’s cupboard, to the warmth of Lily’s embrace, and the strength it had given her. She wouldn’t let him in, wouldn’t let him see her falter.
“Just focusing on the questions, Lando,” she replied, her voice crisp and steady, eyes locked on his. “I’m here to do a job.”
He narrowed his eyes, clearly thrown by her tone. The playfulness he often relied on was nowhere to be found, and for the first time, she saw uncertainty flash across his face. It was intoxicating, seeing him taken aback. It reminded her that he wasn’t invincible.
“Fine,” he said, his tone shifting back to that of a confident driver. “I can handle a little professionalism. I admire it, actually.”
“Then let’s keep it professional,” she shot back, her heart pounding with a mix of adrenaline and exhilaration. There was something liberating about standing her ground, about showing him that she wasn’t afraid to push back.
As they continued their exchange, a storm raged on outside—water pouring down in sheets, thunder rumbling in the distance. But here, away from the rain, she felt the weight of her past begin to lift. She wouldn’t allow Lando to pull her back into his world of uncertainty and heartache. She was building her own life now, with friendships that mattered, goals that fueled her, and a vision that didn’t include him.
With each word, she drew a line in the sand, reminding herself that this was her moment, not his. She had reclaimed her voice, and she was ready to use it.
the end.
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littlelamy · 3 months ago
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awww reader giving rafe and the boys a what’s in my bag 😭 makes me think about influencer!reader and rafe being her number one fan, always the first to like her posts and watch her videos, and being her plus one to brand trips 🥲
a/n: thank you so much for sending a request! 💗😘
you’re lounging on the balcony of your suite, the ocean breeze brushing against your skin as you scroll through your phone. the brand trip has been flawless so far—luxury dinners, sun-soaked beach days, and glamorous events. but the highlight of every trip is having rafe by your side. he’s always there, always watching, always… hovering. it’s comforting in a way that shouldn’t be, knowing that he’s never far.
you post another photo—a candid shot of you in a bikini, sipping on a coconut drink while the sun sets behind you. within seconds, the likes start pouring in, but there’s only one notification you care about. rafe cameron liked your post.
first. always first.
a satisfied smirk tugs at your lips as you refresh the page, his name pinned at the top of the likes. it’s been like this since the beginning. rafe's obsession with you was never subtle, but lately, it's become... intense. he doesn’t just support you—he monitors everything. every post, every story, every brand collaboration. he knows about your analytics before you even check them. sometimes, you wonder if he’s more invested in your success than you are.
he walks out onto the balcony, shirtless, his eyes immediately drawn to your phone. “let me guess, another bikini pic?” he says, his voice dripping with playful jealousy, though his hand finds its place on the back of your neck, fingers tightening possessively.
you laugh, but there’s a tension in the air. “you know it’s what the followers love, rafe.”
“yeah, but i’m the only one who actually gets to see it up close,” he mutters, pulling you into his lap without waiting for you to respond. his arms wrap around your waist, and you feel the heat of his body against yours. “doesn’t stop them from commenting though, does it? all those guys thinking they’ve got a shot with you.”
you roll your eyes. “you know none of that means anything. it’s just part of the job.”
“part of the job,” he echoes, his lips brushing against your ear. “i get it, babe. but sometimes i think about how lucky they are, just to get a glimpse of you, and it drives me fucking insane. they don’t deserve it.”
his grip on your waist tightens, not painfully, but enough to remind you just how possessive he can be. rafe’s obsession has never been the unhealthy kind, but it borders on something dangerous—something thrilling. he lives for you, breathes for you, like your entire world is his, and everyone else is just background noise. and god, do you love it.
“rafe,” you murmur, turning your head to look at him. “you’re the only one who matters. you know that.”
his blue eyes darken, a satisfied smirk playing on his lips as he leans in, his mouth brushing against yours. “good. because i’m not letting anyone else have you.”
he kisses you like he needs to remind you who you belong to. it’s intense, like everything with rafe—his hands gripping your hips, pulling you closer as if he can’t stand even an inch of space between you. when he pulls back, his thumb traces your jawline, his gaze never leaving yours.
“when’s the next shoot?” he asks, his voice low, almost a growl. “i’m coming with you.”
“it’s tomorrow, but it’s fine if you don’t want to—”
“no,” he interrupts, his tone leaving no room for argument. “i want to. i need to make sure everything’s perfect for you. that the crew treats you right. that no one steps out of line.”
there it is again—that obsessive protectiveness that borders on something darker. he’s always been territorial, but lately, it’s like he’s afraid someone will swoop in and take you away, even though you’ve never given him a reason to doubt your loyalty.
you don’t mind though. rafe’s obsession with you is as intoxicating as it is overwhelming. you’ve always liked the way he watches you—like you’re the only thing in the world that matters to him. and honestly? you like the power that comes with it. you know rafe would burn the world down if it meant keeping you by his side.
later that night, you’re getting ready for a dinner event hosted by one of the brands you’re working with. as you apply the finishing touches to your makeup, you can feel rafe’s eyes on you from across the room. he’s lounging on the bed, scrolling through his phone, but his attention is on you. it always is.
“are you wearing that?” he asks, his tone casual, but there’s an edge to it.
you glance down at the tight dress you’ve chosen—elegant, but definitely on the sexier side. “yeah, why? don’t you like it?”
“oh, i like it,” he says, standing up and walking over to you. he’s behind you in an instant, his hands sliding over your waist, pulling you back against him. “but so will every other guy in that room.”
you laugh softly, leaning into him. “you love when i get attention, don’t lie.”
“only if they know they can’t have you.” his hands tighten on your hips, his lips brushing against your neck. “but i’m coming with you. making sure everyone knows who you belong to.”
“you don’t trust me?” you tease, but there’s something in his intensity that excites you.
“it’s not you i don’t trust,” he mutters. “it’s them. everyone’s always trying to get close to you. but i won’t let them. they don’t deserve you. none of them.”
there’s that possessiveness again, the way he wraps himself around you like he’s trying to shield you from the rest of the world. rafe’s obsession with you is suffocating in the best way, and you thrive off it, knowing how much power you hold over him.
when you arrive at the dinner, rafe is glued to your side, his hand resting on the small of your back, eyes scanning the room for anyone who might look at you for a second too long. every time someone tries to strike up a conversation with you, he’s right there, subtly inserting himself, reminding them that you’re taken. that you’re his.
you don’t mind. in fact, you love it.
later that night, after the event, you’re back in the suite, the moonlight casting shadows across the room. rafe’s sitting on the edge of the bed, watching you as you undress. his eyes are dark, filled with that same obsessive hunger you’ve come to crave.
“you looked amazing tonight,” he says, his voice low. “had to stop myself from punching that guy who wouldn’t stop staring at you.”
you laugh, tossing your dress aside as you walk over to him. “you’re crazy, you know that?”
“only about you,” he murmurs, pulling you onto his lap. his hands roam your body possessively, and there’s something about the way he holds you that makes your heart race.
you know rafe’s obsession with you isn’t healthy in the conventional sense, but it’s everything you want. he’s your number one fan, your protector, your everything. and as long as he’s by your side, you know you’ll always be the center of his world.
taglist: @namelesslosers @princessslutt @averyoceanblvd @iknowdatsrightbih @starkeysprincess @sixrosberg @anamiad00msday @ivysprophecy @wearemadeofstardust0
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ode2rin · 1 year ago
Text
It's painfully evident to anyone with two working eyes that Reo likes you.
Reo excels in almost anything, except hiding his devastatingly pathetic pining towards you. It's etched across his face, woven into his body language, and discernible even in his speech. It's embarrassing to the point that even someone as detached and inattentive as Nagi can discern it from a mile away.
Well, it’s not that hard to tell when Reo looks at you as though you've adorned the night sky with every sparkling star.
Nagi sometimes wonders if Reo even knows it himself. You weren’t any better too, always so oblivious of the lovesick fool fawning at everything you do — yet stealing glances when you’re certain the purple-haired isn’t looking.
Nagi had become an inadvertent witness to countless moments, each one screaming of the unspoken connection between you and Reo. From stolen glances across the classroom, where your eyes would meet, sparking a silent understanding, to the subtle brush of hands as you passed each other notes.
Watching you both tiptoe around your feelings is painful, especially considering that the two of you are the closest things Nagi has to friends. 
Maybe some minor intervention wouldn’t be a hassle, Nagi reasoned. 
“I like you, Y/N,” and so, he falsely confesses, purposely doing so while Reo stands just a few steps behind you.
Nagi observes your frozen reaction to his declaration, your bag hanging mid-air, frozen before settling on your shoulders. He notices the widened eyes and slightly agape mouth. Above all, he sees the color drain from Reo's face and the slight twitch of his eye in shock. At least he knows his plan is working.
A moment lingers, and you recover from the shock of his confession, still blissfully oblivious to Reo's presence in the room. “Sei... I-I'm sorry. I like someone else.”
I know, he says in his mind. He doesn’t say anything, prompting you to say more. 
“I’m sorry, Sei. I like Reo.”
And there it goes. 
Realization, relief, and everything in between coloring Reo’s face behind you. Reo has always worn his feelings in his sleeves— too transparent and too obvious.
“I know. I don’t like you,” Nagi admits to you, “I said it because he’s behind you.”
For the second time, you freeze at his words. The urge to turn and confirm or deny his statement tugs at you, but the fear of confronting Nagi's unerring honesty prevails.
Nagi Seishiro never lies unless he admits he does. Lying is too much of an effort, honesty is easier, he reasons.
You weigh your choices. Honestly, you'd rather be the butt of Nagi’s jokes than to face Reo if he’s really behind you. And so, you make your decision. Instead of turning to confront the embodiment of your unrequited feelings, you bolt for the door, leaving the two men to exchange silent glances.
“It's a lie?” Reo's voice breaks the silence.
“Yeah,” Nagi confirms. “Why aren't you going after them—”
Reo interrupts him with a confession, “I wouldn't know what to do if you liked them, too.”
I know, Nagi thinks again, staring at Reo before shrugging and collecting his belongings from the table.
“It will be a pain, I guess.” he shrugs again before finally turning his back to Reo to leave the classroom.
Suppose it's a good thing— it's a good thing Nagi doesn't wear his feelings on his face like you do, Reo.
Because it will really be a pain, indeed.
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note. idk what this is but i present to you: pining reo written in nagi's pov or... i guess it could be more than that 🤷🏻‍♀️ (wrote this back in september pls throw the tomatoes gently)
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aayakashii · 5 months ago
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(maybe) distance makes the heart grow fonder
You are extremely tired. Being mistreated, humiliated and talked down on the daily takes a toll on your body and you finally break down. There's not many people that would help you as you grieve the life you've lost and the life you might lose. But maybe some of them care about you more than you think.
Or: you decide to disappear for a while and some jerks miss you, part one. This will be a series~
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You didn’t ask for any of that.
You didn’t ask for the dangers, the insults, the threats, the disrespect. 
Funny, there used to be a time in your life in which you’d be thrilled at the idea of a magical world, hidden from most people. You’d run away from reality inside your mind and make yourself the main character of a world in which people could blast magic from their fingertips and, somehow you, plain old you, would attract the attention of the most powerful and most beautiful person in that world. And then something something happily ever after.
You’d never guess that the middle - the “something something” you’d skip thinking about, so you could jump into the end of the story where the happiness is already yours - was the worst part of everything. And that there was no beautiful, powerful person coming to sweep you off your feet and save you from all the hurt.
In fact, the most beautiful and most powerful were the ones hurting you the most.
You scoffed.
If they ever swept you off your feet, it would be to knock you down in the mud and let you fester there, alone.
You looked at your phone, grasping it tightly. It was pinging and pinging nonstop. Messages from Romeo and Jin, you’d guess, but you didn’t even want to look at the bland stock wallpaper of that phone that wasn’t truly your own.
You wondered for a second what happened with all your belongings when you got to the Academy. Everything was ripped from you and you didn’t even know why. You couldn’t log into your personal, old accounts and you couldn’t contact anyone you knew before. It was all gone.
You were plucked from your own life, like someone would pluck an infesting weed.
You wondered if anyone thought of you. Your family, your friends. Did the anomaly erase their memories of you? Did it take that away from you as well? Or was everyone thinking you vanished without a trace, your parents begging the police to find you and your friends sadly looking at the spot you used to sit at in your classroom, reminiscing about the things you used to like as if you were gone forever. And maybe you truly were.
You didn't know which was worse.
Suddenly, an idea popped into your head. You couldn’t log into your old accounts, but maybe you could try to look at them, as a guest.
You sat upright against a large tree in the middle of Jabberwock’s field.
You were hiding in there, being the only space in which you could feel safe and be left to your own devices. 
Hotarubi was also welcoming, but you knew how Zenji would fret over you feeling depressed. Obscuary would also welcome you, but Lyca would never leave you alone, much less give you any space, if he knew you were sad like that.
Meanwhile, in Jabberwock, Haru was too busy, Towa wouldn’t speak because it was daylight and Ren was too emotionally constipated to feel like dealing with you, if he ever stumbled upon you there - which he wouldn’t. So Jabberwock it was.
You typed your old Twitter user on the search bar, feeling a wave of bitter nostalgia as you looked at the name that used to be so intertwined with your life. The page loaded slowly, since you were in the middle of nowhere and the internet was almost just a suggestion; and as the loading bar grew, your stomach churned inside of you, an uncomfortable feeling in the back of your throat setting in and reminding you that doing that was probably a very bad idea.
When you were about to close the tab, the page finished loading.
You were met with your old profile page. The already small following count seemed to be even smaller - people probably unfollowed you after all those weeks of inactivity - but that was barely registered on your mind. What caught your attention was the last tweet you had posted:
“Going to see the last show of my favorite band before they disband… this is the most tragic thing to ever happen in my life”
You blinked slowly, reading and re-reading the tweet you had posted on that accursed September 3rd in a loop.
And then you laughed.
You rested your head on your hands, phone flush against your forehead, and you laughed loudly, like you had just heard the funniest joke in the entire world.
And when the lump in your throat became too much for you to ignore, the laughter became a scream.
You screamed and screamed and screamed, as tears fell from your eyes in an endless flow.
You wailed like you hadn’t allowed yourself to do for all the time you’ve been in Darkwick. The grief came crashing down onto you mercilessly and you felt like you were drowning. You felt how your throat got hurt as you screamed, but the pain was nothing next to the weight of everything you had lost and everything you were going through.
You choked with your own saliva, retching painfully and feeling the metallic taste of blood, but the tears just wouldn't stop. You fell forward, curling into yourself and looked at the phone in your hand.
The irony of that tweet, the foreshadowing, was simply too much for you to handle.
You wanted to go back. 
You needed to go back to that time in which the saddest thing happening to you was a stupid band disbanding. 
You desperately wanted to go back to a time in which you didn’t have power hungry men insulting and humiliating you like you were lesser than human, calling you a servant, or a worm, or a bitch.
When you didn’t have a crazed psychopath threatening your life with a gun to your temple or a knife to your throat. 
When you didn’t have a guillotine hanging upon your head every single moment of your life, tick-tocking with the reminder of your imminent death.
You watched your tears fall to the grass, alongside the drool from your lips as you kept on crying loudly. It felt like it would never stop. You had too many tears long unshed to be able to stop, even if your throat was destroyed at this point, with how much you screamed.
The sound of grass being quickly stomped reached your ears for a moment, but you felt too weak to look up. You just kept on crying and moaning, now that your voice was almost gone.
A hesitant hand touched your back.
“Dandelion?” Towa’s voice reached your ears and you jerked up, flinching at his touch.
He was crouched right before you and you watched as his eyes widened and his eyebrows knitted together, concern being clear on his face. You were probably a dreadful sight at that moment.
“Towa…” you tried to say but your voice sounded raspy and barely audible.
His hands gently rested on your shoulders as he kneeled. “What happened, Dandelion?”
You noticed how he was talking despite it being daylight outside. The sincerity of his worry and his touch made the tears quickly come back, and you realized how starved of comfort and gentleness you were.
You shaking hands grasped his shirt and you slowly pulled him towards you, silently asking for a hug. Towa immediately complied, shifting his position so he could hold you.
This time, your tears were silent. You sniffed and cried quietly, wetting the fabric of Towa’s clothes as he held you close, hands tracing circles on your back.
Despite Towa’s unpredictable nature, he was patient. You knew that meant a lot. He liked you enough to stay still and let you cry without explaining yourself.
After a while, you began feeling self-conscious about being a bother and you forced yourself to untangle from his embrace, sniffling and rubbing your puffy eyes. His hands followed you and he kept his tight hold on your arms.
“I’m sorry I cried so much.” you whispered.
Towa shook his head and his eyes still glinted with worry.
“What happened?” he repeated.
Your lips quivered, but you swallowed the tears, feeling the burn in your throat.
“I’m tired.” you said, looking down. He hummed, not really satisfied with your short answer.
“I heard you scream. You’re so far away from our house, it took me some time to find you. I thought you were getting killed.” he leaned down, trying to keep his face in your field of view, and he looked as sad as he possibly could.
You chuckled humorlessly.
“I’m sorry. It’s just… Today was too much.”
Towa stayed in that awkward position, and he blinked at you, patiently waiting for you to continue and you realized he wouldn’t just let you keep things to yourself.
You sighed, which came out with a ragged sound since your nose was stuffy, and straightened your back so he could change his position.
“Not everybody is like you or Haru. Most people are very mean in this place. And I’m sick of it. They hurt me intentionally even though I did nothing wrong. I'm tired of it” you tried summing it up as best as you could, because you knew you would probably cry again if you told him how terribly you had been treated on that specific day and why it was the straw the broke the camel's back. 
He nodded.
“Yes, only Haru is nice. And you, Dandelion!” he smiled.
You smiled weakly, for what felt like the first time in a lifetime.
“Thank you, Towa. I really like you.”
Towa beamed at your words, hands gliding down your arms to hold your hands tightly.
“I love you, Dandelion!” he said, happily.
You knew he didn’t really mean it. Towa was, for some reason, obsessed with love and romance and you were pretty sure he would say it to anyone he liked. It did feel good to hear this after being so beaten down, though.
His face suddenly fell and he frowned.
“Let’s go to our house. You look sick. We can ask Haru to help you feel better!” he said, getting up and pulling you with him.
You knew there wasn’t any way to convince Towa to just let you be once he decided something, so you let him lead the way, taking clumsy steps behind him as you tried to find the strength to walk properly again.
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incognitonoggin · 10 months ago
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Hi wondering if you could do them together? If not do separate and what you feel comfortable with 🙏🏼
Yan proxies with an s/o that tried escaping and failed-nsfw if you can-again only if ur comfortable
SJSHSJEHEH ANON I LOVE YOU TY FOR THE ASK!!
YANDERE PROXIES WITH A S/O THAT TRIED TO ESCAPE
NSFW . MINORS DNI
GN! READER
Includes: “Ticci” Toby, Masky/Tim, Hoodie/Brian
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TOBY
• You seriously thought you’d get away? How cute.
• The second you had kicked ‘em off of you and began to run, he was quick to yank your arm back and have you shrinking under his gaze.
• You could immediately tell he was kind of pissed, but you’re his sweetheart! He has to be patient with you.
• … Doesn’t mean he’s going to be gentle though.
• Will drag that same arm to the nearest flat surface (be it a wall for Christ’s sake) and off to pound town you go!
• Sex will be full of.. I guess.. Claiming???
• He’ll go on and on about how you’re his and how your hole(s) belong to him and how you’ll never amount to anything without him and you’re better off stuck with him (in a positive way, I suppose…)
• You’ll be left with dozens of marks afterwards and he wont hesitate to be passive aggressive and rough😭
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HOODIE
• Have fun with this man!
• He’ll pull you back tightly by the waist, and drag you on into his lap
• Will yank your pants off right then and there, just barely giving you the time to process everything.
• “You want to leave? Really? How about we change that.”
• As i said in a different fic, he will be silent but you can tell by his never ending glare that if you fuck up he will NOT hesitate to get violent.
• Very fast and roughly paced. Gonna have your eyes stinging and your lips moving in a repetitive motion as you mumble your pleas
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MASKY
• Why would you run away from this man WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU /HJ
• He’s running up behind ya and covering your mouth with his hands like he’s got chloroform or something on them
• It’ll feel suffocating at first, but similarly to Brian, he will just throw you down and start fucking torturing you 😔
• It’s worse compared to the others, he’d be VERY cocky (ha, get it?) about it and mock you whilst you beg.
• Lord, the repeated slamming into your hole while he yanks your hair back (damn near breaking your neck) must be so violating 😟
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ew-selfish-art · 1 year ago
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DP x DC AU: Letters and Paper goods are easy to store, and therefore, easy to hide. Danny has drama to monger though.
Tim Drake becomes a ward of Bruce Wayne at the same time the Drake Corporation is crumbling, and his father's health is declining. Dana, his father's physical therapist turned new wife, isn't optimistic these days, and Tim can read the writing on the wall.
Times have changed and Bruce and Dick are treating him with kid gloves. Jason Todd is alive again, been there suffered that. Young Just-Us has proven yet again to be his true family... But Bruce 'welcomes' him home the second the fake uncle is sniffed out.
So, Tim rationalizes, If Drake Corp is going down, then so shall the reason he spent his childhood abandoned. The many, many archeology digs his parents left him for over the years and their many, many stolen historical pieces. Tim is ready and able to get rid of them all.
He first returns the artifacts that have obvious origins to the people with whom they belong. Then it starts to get a little hazy as to where each item stolen is from. The paper goods are the hardest to place.
Years later, Tim has almost completely emptied his parent's old home of their stolen goods. By now, he runs a fortune 500 company and is working as Red Robin. Going through the last of the archives means going through the very last objects his parents ever preferred over his company, and he can't wait to be rid of them.
A glowing green envelope however... this one he feels compelled to keep. He hadn't known it back when he started this project- but somehow his Parents had found objects drenched in the essence of the Lazarus Pits. And it wasn't just one letter, it was dozens and dozens.
Tim Drake knew it would be risky to move them, but he needed to get these letters to an ex-league member to understand what the language of the dead was trying to proclaim.
_____
Danny hates a fetch quest but apparently Ghost Writer is having a bad day. It starts with Danny running by the guys library to have a chat when all of a sudden, the question of certain... ghost relations... came up. Danny is always more than thrilled to hear about how the various ancient-as-in-old ghosts interacted with the Ancients-as-in-yikes ghosts.
Ghost Writer finally admitted to the monarch in training that if he wanted to know so badly, that he could track down Clockworks old letters. They'd been scattered well before Ghost Writer could properly work on the ghost archives (read: was still alive), and it wasn't until he'd long worked on the library that such affairs were noted as missing.
The potential for gossip was just too good! A call home to Sam, Tuck and Jazz to let them know he was on an adventure, and then Danny flew off with little more than some hints by GW and an annoyed nod of cryptic agreement by CW.
Danny goes about wondering Gotham as himself, not yet seeing the need to be Phantom, when he runs into the very guy he was looking for.
"Hey- you don't happen to have a shit ton of letters written in the language of the dead do you?" Danny smiles as innocently as possible as he watches all seven stages of grief play out on the guy's face. Then something changes and Danny can tell that this guy is like, scary competent.
"I do, however, I was double crossed and a shit ton of assassins are on their way to try and take them."
"Uh... Bummer for them I guess? I'll just take them and go- I don't even really need to keep them if you want em back-"
"Assassins. They won't exactly leave empty handed."
"Huh. Well... Wanna come with? These are supposed to have some pretty juicy drama in them." Danny awkwardly places a hand on the back of his neck.
A knife being thrown in their direction was enough to get this guy to make a decision.
"Let's go spill some tea then."
Danny grins as he pulls the guy through a rapidly drawn portal, ignoring the wide eyes he makes. Turns out his name is Tim, and walking him through afterlife drama is the best- how does he know so many dead assassins??? One of these letters is about a guy who took Tim's spleen??
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short-honey-badger · 6 months ago
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Favor of the Gods
Summary: Your village sacrifices a human offering to the god of War and Booze, Shanks, every five years. This year, it's your turn.
Pairings: Shanks x Female Reader
Warnings: Smut, drinking, cunnilingus, blow jobs, rough sex, aftercare, dirty talk. Shanks is so greedy.
Masterlist
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“Oh, you're prettier than the others that your elders have given me before.”
Shanks smirks down at you, dark eyes raking over your body, covered only by a cream, sheer fabric. It wrapped around your breasts and thighs just enough to cover your indecency, but the god would much rather see you bare before his eyes. He watches you twitch, your eyes round in awe and fear.
“What? Cat got your tongue, little one? Am I just too much for you to gaze upon?” He coos with a prideful grin. He crouches in front of you, reaching out to grab you by the jaw, tilting your face this way and that. You are rather beautiful, all smooth, soft skin that the god plans to ruin.
“Mhm. Well, if you don't want to talk, then how about we put that mouth of yours to use?” Shanks sneers, and his hand drops from your face to grab his trousers and shove them down enough that his cock and balls spring free. He laughs when he sees your eyes widen, cheeks flushing and that fear spreading.
“Don't be frightened, sweet thing. It's easy. Just open your mouth, and I'll do all the work.”
It takes a second, but Shanks isn't so impatient as to rush you too much, but then your jaw drops and the god groans in appreciation when you lean forward to give the tip of his dick a kitten lick. Shanks strokes the base of his cock, precum already leaking from the tip in his excitement, before he takes a half step forward and shoves his cock down your throat.
The god hisses when you gag around him, your throat like a vice around his cock, milking him for all your worth. He feels you choke and sputter, tears sliding down your face to mix with the spit that leaks sluggishly down your chin.
“Fuck, you're even better than I thought you'd be, love. I bet you love sucking my cock, huh? Worshiping your god the only way you need to, on your knees.”
His pace is brutal, cockhead bruising your throat, and making your fight for each breath of fresh air. Shanks drops his hand to your head, fingers tangling in your hair to better hold you still as he pushes his hips forward. He laughs again when you whine and whimper, your nose pressed flush against his crotch and buried in the wiry red hair dusted around his cock.
“Gonna keep you like this forever. Maybe even give you a little of my magic, huh? Make sure that you'll never be able to leave me. Ugh- fuck, you'd love that wouldn't you? Being my personal cum slut forever?”
He is close, that hot tension twisting into a knot in his lower belly, his balls tightening as his pace stutters. Shanks grits his teeth, thrusting forward once, and then twice more before he cums down your throat with a snarl.
You look even better when he pulls away, cock slipping from your throat with an obscene noise. You look up at him, breathing harshly through your nose to try and calm yourself from the sudden assault. Your god grins down at you, hand catching your jaw and stroking your soft cheek with his thumb.
“Such a good, sweet girl. It's a wonder I hadn't just stolen you for myself.”
He leans in, dark eyes narrowing down at you, “Where have you been hiding?”
Once more, Shanks doesn't give you enough time to try and even formulate an answer. Instead, the god releases your jaw and offers you his hand.
“Meh. I guess it doesn't really matter now that you belong to me. Come along, little one. I want to see how devoted you are to me.”
~~~
Your moans and sweet whines are like music to the god's ears. His cock pistons in and out of you, dark eyes locked onto the apex of your thighs where he watches his cock disappear into your leaking cunt. Shanks lays on his back, heavy lidded as he watches you bounce on his dick. You face away from him, giving the god an excellent view of your plush ass and the way your pussy lips quiver each time he hits that spongy spot deep inside of you.
Shanks trails his hand up your thigh and then around the globe of your ass where he rubs the smooth flesh gently before pulling away and striking down. The smack is just enough that your hips jump forward, head hanging forward as your hand clenches in the sheets of the massive bed the two of you lay on.
Your god does it again, this time a bit harder, and he smirks when he sees the red hand print left behind. He rubs your abused cheek, thumb drifting down to play with your folds, gently rubbing his thumb back and forth before he sneaks his hand down. His fingers find your clit, and a hiss leaves him when you tighten around him at the touch.
“So tight around me, baby. Made just for me,” Shanks murmurs, and then he shifts up. His arm curls around your waist, pulling you flush against his chest so that he can hook his chin over your shoulder and kiss your cheek. He sees you crack your eyes open and grins when he catches your gaze.
“Do you love me, little one? How long have you prayed to me? Worshiped me?” Shanks whispers, and the thought of you in his temple, head bowed as you prayed to him, made his cock twitch. The thought is a heady one, and the god would see to it that he would get what he desired.
You jerk your head in a nod, words stolen from you when Shanks snaps his hips up, cock shoving against your cervix and making you see stars. His hand goes up, fingers pinching a nipple before they find a home by wrapping them around your neck. He squeezes just enough to have you gasp, eyes going wide as you look at him in fear.
Shanks kisses your cheek again, the action sweet compared to how roughly he begins to fuck into you. He's felt you come at least three times, but he wants one more out of you before he fills you up.
“Come for your god, little one. Let me feel it.”
His words seem to do this trick, for you cry his name and tighten around him to the point of discomfort. Creamy slick floods around his cock, leaning down your thighs to stain the sheets below. The god curses and follows you over the edge, hot cum filling you to the brim to leak out and join the mess between your thighs.
~~~
Shanks watches you sip from the shallow saucer, a groan leaving you at the taste of warmed saki sliding down your throat to settle in your stomach. His head is pillowed on your thigh, face so close to your cunt that he could lick your sticky folds if he so chose too. Your pussy tasted better than any drink, and Shanks had found himself drunk off your slick.
Thinking about it makes him want it, so Shanks tips his head to the side and opens his mouth. You shudder in pleasure when his tongue slides along your lower lips, pressing past then to lap at your leaking hole. Your hand falls to his red hair, urging him closer to your pussy.
Shanks loses himself, face buried between your legs as he eats his fill from your cunt. You shake and shiver under him, eyes glazed over with lust and the approaching buzz from the saki. Your body had relaxed even further with the alcohol, leaving you warm and pliant to whatever Shanks wanted from you.
His lips seal over your clit, the god gently suckling the throbbing bud. A look of contentment spreads across his face, and your slick covers the lower half of his face when you come a couple seconds later with a soft cry of his name. He sucks just a little longer, until you beg him to stop, and only then, does he pull away from between your legs.
Shanks sits himself up, and you open your arms for your god to rest against your bosom. He snuggles against your chest, arm draped around your waist as he gazes up at you with dark, possessive eyes. You smile down at your god and offer him your cup. While Shanks sips from the offering, he can't but think about how much he likes the thought of worshiping you instead.
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leona-hawthorne · 23 days ago
Note
HIHI OMG IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU IT FEELS LIKE CHRISTMAS AJSHUWBSBSBW
Anywho, i was wondering if you could do some latte art for a hufflepuff reader, Mattheo, and DADA?
(When I saw that you reached 1k I started squealing I kid you not 🤭)
thank you sweetheart!!!! hope you like what i came up with 🤍
navigation masterlists latte art
ミ★ PARTNERS�� mattheo riddle
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Mattheo Riddle had a habit of slipping into rooms like he belonged there, even when he didn’t. Defense Against the Dark Arts was no exception. He strolled in late, leaned lazily against the doorway, and let the silence draw attention to himself like some kind of magnet. Professor Dawlish, already red in the face from an earlier misfire of a hex demonstration, pointed sharply at Mattheo.
“Mr. Riddle. Sit.”
The boy dragged his feet with deliberate slowness, muttering, “Such warm welcomes these days…” under his breath. A few Slytherins snickered, and your quill nearly slipped from your fingers.
Unfortunately for you, the only empty seat in the classroom was right next to yours.
“Perfect,” Mattheo muttered when he spotted it, dropping into the chair with an exaggerated sigh. His bag hit the floor like a rock, and he flicked his wand lazily, sending his textbook onto the desk with a muted thud.
You didn’t look at him directly, only caught his sharp profile in your peripheral vision.
“Lovely day, isn’t it?” he said, voice dipped in sarcasm but threaded with amusement.
“Didn’t you just make it worse by arriving?” The words slipped out before you could stop them, and you froze. Merlin’s beard, what did I just do.
For a second, there was nothing—no laughter, no response. You braved a glance sideways, only to find Mattheo staring at you. He blinked once, then tilted his head, an expression crossing his face like you’d just become the most interesting thing in the room.
“Did the little Hufflepuff just insult me?”
Heat climbed your cheeks. “Not an insult if it’s true.”
He laughed—an actual laugh, low and rich, surprising even himself. He bit his knuckle to stifle it, but his shoulders shook, and you turned away, half-annoyed that you’d made him laugh at all.
Professor Dawlish cleared his throat sharply, and both of you quieted as he launched into his lecture on Confringo. You tried to focus, you really did, but Mattheo had an unnerving way of existing. The tap-tap-tap of his quill against the desk. The faint scent of something smoky lingering near him, like firewood and leather.
“Partner up!” Dawlish announced suddenly, clapping his hands. “We’ll practice precision today. Wands only—no explosions, please.”
You winced, already bracing for disaster. But before you could turn to the Hufflepuff girl behind you, Mattheo stretched, arching his arms above his head, and then tapped your desk with the end of his wand.
“Guess you’re stuck with me, sunshine.”
Your stomach flipped. “What?”
“Partners. Us. Dawlish said so.”
“You said so.”
“Same thing.”
Before you could protest, Mattheo was already on his feet, wand spinning casually between his fingers. His smile was crooked and boyish, and you cursed how easily it almost made you smile back. You followed him to the far side of the classroom, where desks had been pushed aside to create space for dueling pairs.
“Alright,” Mattheo drawled. “Don’t worry, I’ll go easy on you.”
“Why would you assume you need to?”
That caught him off guard. He raised an eyebrow, eyes glinting with something curious and teasing. “Oh, please. No offense, but I’ve got a hunch you’re more ‘herbology vibes’ than ‘DADA menace.’”
“Herbology vibes?”
He shrugged, biting back a grin. “You just seem… soft.”
Your wand shot out before you realized it, and Mattheo’s robes whipped suddenly around his legs like a gust of wind had struck him. He staggered back, blinking in disbelief.
“What—what was that?”
You tilted your chin. “I think they call it ‘not soft.’”
Mattheo stared at you, equal parts impressed and disarmed, like he couldn’t quite figure out where you’d come from. Then, slowly, that mischievous smile spread across his face.
“Well, well.” He pushed his sleeves up to his elbows, wand at the ready, eyes locked on yours. “Looks like I’ve got my work cut out for me.”
“Likewise,” you retorted, already lifting your wand.
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borathae · 6 months ago
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Tenderness
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"Jimin has a hard time accepting that people don't want to hurt him. Something about you makes him ease up however and because of it, he asks you to cut his hair. You help him gladly of course."
Pairing: Jimin x f.Reader
Genre: slight Angst, Fluff, Hurt and Comfort
Warnings: Jimin has trauma, he's scared but she makes him feel at ease, like please give this man a hug, innocent skinship, also they're just friends currently but idkkk there is so much tension between them, god i'm going insane actually
Wordcount: 2.6k
a/n: i'm actually so sad :( also listen. the hug was inspired by the way Jimin hugs :( i fucking want a Mimi Hug no JOKE </3
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You are in the back garden, pruning the roses when someone suddenly steals the sunlight from you. It had once warmed your skin. The air feels chilly in the shadows all of a sudden.
You stop working, lifting your eyes at the person.
Jimin. Dressed in a long arm shirt and flowy pants, he walked through the grass barefoot and with his long hair tied back. The fabric of his shirt is striped in black and white. He is hiding his eyes behind a pair of dark sunglasses. 
“You’re in my sun”, you tease.
“The sun doesn’t belong to you”, he throws backs sassily.
“I’d still prefer it if I had sunlight.”
“Too bad. I’m here now.”
You scoff in amusement, straightening up by rolling your shoulders. Such bickering is normal between you and him and amuses you these days.
“Do you wanna help me?” you offer him your second pair of pruning scissors, which he declines with a shake of his head.
“I have a, uh, favour to ask of you.”
You are working on the rose as you talk to him. He watches your movements with his eyes just slightly zoned out. 
“What’s up?” 
“Okay so, don’t laugh at me, but I talked to Tae and he said that you’re really good at cutting hair.”
“Yeah, I am. Nobody in this family wants to trust me, but I’m so good at cutting hair, like so good.”
He scoffs in amusement, reaching out to play with a rose leaf mindlessly.
“Sure you are.”
“Mh-hm, I am. Why did you ask him?”
“It’s just, I was wondering, uh, if maybe you want to do my hair.”
You stop working, studying him in surprise. You didn’t expect such a request.
“Your hair?” you make sure
Jimin nods his head. 
“Sure, uh, yeah I can. Just...why me?”
“Because you’re good, I already told you. And because Tae can’t cut hair. He thinks that he can, but he is shit at it. Don’t tell him I said that.”
“I’m not better than a professional though. Wouldn’t a stylist be better than me?”
“No, uhm.” He shies away, touching his own neck in soothing. “I’m not ready to, uhm. It’s hard for me to have strangers touch me. I, I don’t know them and, and I… uhm, they could hurt me. Uhm, it’s hard, I guess.”
“Oh”, you realise, “gosh Jimin, I’m sorry that you feel this way. I understand your feelings and I’ll gladly cut your hair.”
“Thank you”, he whispers, “see you later then. In my wing. Bye.” 
And with that, he flees, keeping his head low in embarrassment. You know that it wasn’t easy for him to share his feelings right now. He is a lot like Yoongi in that regard. Although Jimin is definitely that way because he was never truly allowed to feel. In more sense than one. Not only was he forced to keep his emotions off, he was also punished for any show of emotion which didn’t benefit his abusers. Sharing his feelings equalled being hurt to him in his past. So of course he fled the second he did it. You are still so proud of him for sharing his feelings. It means that he is healing. 
You finish garden work and take a quick shower. Knowing Jimin, he meant the evening hours when he said “later” so you don’t feel too stressed about going to him. 
After the shower, you have early dinner with Yoongi and Jungkook where you tell them that you will cut Jimin’s hair later and they show their expected surprise. When you tell them his reasons however, they react with empathy. They leave for a hunt after dinner, needing their own vampiric meals. You kiss each of them on their lips and wish them a good hunt, then you make your way upstairs to Jimin’s wing. 
He always keeps his doors locked because he feels safer this way, resulting in you having to ring his doorbell.
All of you have doorbells installed, which makes it a lot easier to visit each other. It was Taehyung’s idea and Yoongi had to be the one to install them. He did it gladly, gloating about how easy it was once it was done.
Jimin opens the door after the first ring. He is in different clothes and judging by the slight pearls of sweat on his forehead, he has been dancing. 
“Is it a good time?” you ask him.
“Yes. Come in.”
You step out of your house shoes once inside, while Jimin locks the door.
“Were you dancing?”
“Yes.”
“That’s nice. How’s the studio?”
“Good. I love the natural light in it.”
“It’s already dark though.”
“For you, yes. Not for me. The moonlight is better than sunlight”, he says and hurries past you, “wait in the living room. I need to shower.”
“Alright, will do.”
Jimin’s living room was once a guest bedroom. The one you stayed in during your first night at the estate to be more exact. Yes, That Night where Taehyung had actually planned on eating you before you, unknowingly, managed to change his mind. 
The room once smelled of oakwood and myrrh, but smells like orange blossoms and clean wood these days. The walls changed out of their outdated grey coat into a cherry red dress. White ceilings and a decorated voute seem to practically glow next to the red and the ivory curtains give even more lightness to the otherwise warm-coloured room. The furniture is antique, but in perfect condition and throughout the room, Jimin placed vases with fresh flowers. He isn’t afraid to show his sensitive side these days. It reflects in how delicate the decorations in his wing feel.
You lie down on his sofa. Its red pillows swaddle you, inviting you to close your eyes for a while. It is so comfortable here. 
You probably would have dozed off for a post-dinner nap if Jimin hadn’t woken you again. His steps are quiet normally, but the floorboards creaked under his weight as he walked to you.
You sit up, “I’m awake.”
“Sure”, Jimin says sarcastically, eyeing the deep dent you left in his throw pillow, “just so you know, that pillow is a hundred years old and the stitching is delicate.”
“Huh? Hm?” You look at the pillow, smoothing it out. “Sorry. Nothing happened, I swear.”
“Don’t sweat it. Can we start? I wanna get it over with”, he says and leaves the room again.
With a grieving heart – a nap sounded so good – you leave the comfortable couch to follow him. 
You find him in his bathroom, sitting by the powder table in only his towel. The silver scar on his back contrasts against his black tattoos. He is tracing the entrance point of the scar on his chest mindlessly, but lifts his eyes when he senses your presence. His hand lowers, the self-disgust disappearing from his eyes. He shifts in embarrassment, clearing his throat.
Knowing him, he wants you to ignore his scar. He can’t stand it when people mention it. It is already awful enough that he has to look at it each time he undresses. 
“Anything in particular you wanna get?” you ask him as you close in on him.
“Just shave it there and give it texture on top”, Jimin says, lifting up his hair to show you his neck.
“So undercut with some length on top?”
“Yeah. It’s hot and I need air.”
“Right? It’s so hot lately. This summer is insane”, you agree, picking up the shaver, “should we go with the setting you have on?” 
“Yes. But make sure the fade is good.”
“I will, don’t worry. Is it okay for me to touch you?” 
Jimin glances at you. Surprise and gratefulness. He can’t keep up eye contact, lowering his eyes at the table as he nods his head. 
With his consent, you touch his hair. You run your fingers through it, eyeing his hands. They ball to fists at the first contact, tightening with such strength that his knuckles pale. He is scared.
“Did you practice choreography?” you ask him in hopes of distracting him.
“No I.” He clears his tightened throat. “I guess I just danced.”
“That’s nice too. I’ll shave it to up there. Is that alright?”
Jimin inspects the point you show him and nods his head. You pick up the shaver and turn it on. Jimin moves his head away when you put it close to him, flinches and moves back again.
“Sorry”, he whispers, glancing at you in embarrassment.
“Don’t apologise. Did you change your mind?” 
“No.”
“Alright. Want a break?”
He shakes his head silently.
“Alright. Just tell me if you need it”, you say and put the shaver against his neck.
Jimin is tense during the first couple of shaves, but relaxes soon when his traumatized mind realizes that you genuinely don’t want him harm. He even opens his fists and begins playing with his bracelets mindlessly. Only around his ears, a certain stiffness returns to him and his eyes ghost over the shaver fearfully. 
So you give him a break, soothing him by tracing his ears softly. 
“Gotta clean you up”, you tell him even though both of you know that this was just an excuse to mask the gesture of comfort you give him. If you didn’t mask it, Jimin would get way too embarrassed however. 
He is tense at first. His eyes switch between your hands, your face and the shaver you put aside. 
You reach the spot right behind his ear where the harder point of his shell blends into the softness of his lobe. You rub it slowly. Jimin’s lids flutter, his head sways back just once before he fixes it again.
Another rub of the same spot and Jimin’s head rolls back again, lids closing halfway as goosebumps cover his skin. Yet another rub and he breathes so deeply that his chest lifts and sinks visibly, eyes closing for just a second before he forces them open again.
He straightens up, glancing at you in embarrassment. You act oblivious for his sake, giving his shoulders an innocent rub.
“There we go. Now you’re clean. I’ll continue.”
“Yeah. Okay”, he whispers, staring at you in the reflection of the mirror. He can’t truly make sense of the emotions in his chest and what they mean. He also can’t stop them and so he stares.
Jimin doesn’t flinch away anymore when the shaver touches him. You can finish the shaving without any more obstacles. He even stays calm when you shave him around his other ear. Only for a split second his neck tensed up, but relaxed within a breath because he felt safe more than he does troubled in your presence. 
You place the shaver on the table and use a fluffy brush to sweep away any stray hair. The sensation sends shivers down his spine. He tries to cover them up as best as possible.
“Do you like the fade?” 
“Yes. It’s, uhm, it’s what I wanted”, he speaks quietly, looking at himself with sparkling eyes. He doesn’t even notice that he is gazing, too mesmerised his new look has him. 
“Nice. That’s good to hear. I’ll just do the texturing and then you’re done.”
“Yes. Thank you.”
His words are honest, bringing a smile to your lips.
“Of course.” You pick up the scissors, showing them to him. “I’ll use these.”
You give him time to observe the potential danger. He nods his head in consent. You begin. He doesn’t tense because you gave him the opportunity to prepare. 
“Your hair is fun to work with. You’ve got so much of it.”
“Thanks. It’s hot during summer.”
“I can imagine. Should I take some length too?”
“Yes, please.”
You can finish the cut with no obstacles, moving on to the last step instantly. You clean him and then style him with a light mousse. He lets you with gratefulness in his eyes. Truly, he can’t stop looking at you. It is as if something about you has him captured. You don’t notice his eyes on you because you take your job as his hair stylist way too seriously and are blind to anything but his hair.
“There we go. Now you’re done. How do you like it?” you ask, finally meeting his eyes. For but a moment, your breath hitches. He never looked at you like this before. “Uh..”
Jimin clears his throat and shifts his eyes away. The air is charged between you and him, but neither tries to talk about it.
You take a step back. Jimin looks at himself for a while. His expression is stoic and if you didn’t know him better, you would think that he hates the haircut. In the end however, a small smile hushes over his lips and he nods his head.
“I like it.” 
You smile proudly.
“I’m happy to hear that.”
He shimmies on the chair awkwardly, touching his new undercut.
“You can, uhm, leave now if you want to.”
“How about we clean up and then show Tae your new style?” you suggest because you know he doesn’t actually want you to leave, but thinks that you already want to.
“Yes. Okay.” He turns away to hide the giddy smile. “Do you think we can get him to watch a movie with us?”
“I think that he’ll be the one to suggest it.”
Jimin laughs. You laugh with him.
“Yeah, that actually sounds like him”, he agrees. 
“I bet he wants to watch one of his boring French movies.”
“They’re not boring, you just have no taste.”
You laugh, “no I do. His movies are like five hours long. That’s way too long.” 
“Don’t tell him that.”
“Oh honey, I do. He knows and teases me for it.” 
You and Jimin share laughter. Your eyes meet. The tension in the air is almost suffocating.
His smile drops. 
You stop laughing, feeling tight in your chest for but a second, “what’s wrong?” 
Jimin stands up and turns to you so he can close the distance.
You instinctively take a step back, but Jimin still pulls you close.
He hugs you. 
“Oh?”
Jimin hugs as if he is overcome with adoration. Jimin hugs as if he needed the other for his survival. Jimin hugs as if he thanks the universe for the other’s presence. He doesn’t hug often, but when he does, it is spilling over with his honest adoration.
You didn’t expect it right now, but can’t deny that it melts you. He has one arm around your waist strongly and cradles the back of your head with his other hand, while his cheek rests on your shoulder with his face hidden in your neck. You can even see from the reflection in the mirror that he has his eyes closed. He hugs just like him. With his entire heart and soul. 
You hug him back with just as much tenderness, rubbing his back slowly. Goosebumps follow your touch. He melts into your embrace. 
“What’s that for?” you ask him quietly.
“Haircut.”
You chuckle, “do you like it that much?”
He nods his head and gives you a squeeze.
“Thank you”, he whispers. 
You know that he doesn’t only speak of the haircut. That he thanks you for giving him the space and time he needed to realise that the haircut won’t end in pain for him. You smile fondly, squeezing him back.
“Of course. You can always come to me for help.”
“I will.” He holds you so close and breathes your name. Nothing else follows. Just your name. Said with just as much heart and soul as his hug carries.
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fictionalwh0ree · 3 months ago
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hey could you do where the reader is a singer and is like 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂😈 on her shows like how olivia rodrigo is on her concerts.And reader keeps on teasing billie throughout the show which leads to uhh something!!!!… if yk what i mean😍
guess- billie eilish
summary: you are an award-selling pop artist. to surprise her fans, your girlfriend, billie, brings you out to perform your single, guess, that she featured on. however, what billie doesn't know is that the fans won't be the only ones getting surprised that night. word count: 1.7k warnings: smut; fingering and oral sex
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billie’s tour had just kicked off, she was ecstatic to be back. her second show was in toronto, but billie was still feeling kind of guilty for having cancelled her show with no explanation to the fans in 2022. she decided she was going to make it up to her fans who had been patiently waiting for the past two years.
you and billie had been publicly dating for only two months, your relationship being announced via your hit single, guess, which you collabed on. since then, the fans had been going crazy over you guys. billie decided that it would be perfect for you to join her for her two toronto shows. of course you agreed, excited to accompany your girl on her tour and happy to surprise her wonderful fans.
when the night of the show finally came, the crowd was buzzing. from your little hiding spot under the stage you could hear them screaming for her. the floor was shaking and the crowd was not losing any energy, making you excited as well. you heard the familiar notes of you should see me in a crown ending, signifying that guess would be up next. you heard the screaming as billie ran past the fans at barricade and finally saw her head pop up from the little entrance. she greeted you with a big smile.
“you ready?” she said, as the cage above you got moved down.
“yep,” you smiled, buckling yourself into the harness that would soon be suspended over the stage.
billie placed a kiss on your lips before signalling to the stage crew that you were ready. someone handed her a mic and the platform began to lift. billie’s face showed that she was excited for the surprise, but what she didn’t know was that you had a surprise of your own, just for her. the box lifted into the air and the crowd erupted into cheers. you bit your own lip as you tried to hide your own excitement. as people noticed who was up there with her, the cheers got louder, almost deafening.
“alright guys,” billie said, her voice barely heard over the crowd, “i’ve brought a very special guest out for one song and one song only.”
the cheers continued and phones were held up high, recording the moment.
“say hi to y/n,” billie said, the crowd screaming in return, “now, are we ready? are we having a good time? yeah? good, you all know whats coming…”
her words dragged out as the first notes of your song played. the crowd went wild as you began to sing.
you wanna guess the colour of my underwear
you wanna know what i got going on down there
you sang, facing the crowd. as you sang the next lyrics, you put your hands in your pockets.
is it pretty in pink or all see through?
from your pockets, you pulled out two pairs of underwear, throwing them backwards so they’d hit billie. her jaw dropped in fake offence, a smile tugging at her lips as the pairs fell to the ground. she recognized them, both of them were real pairs of underwear that belonged to you, ones she’d pulled off you many times before.
is it showing off my brand new lower back tattoo?
you sang, passing your hand over the tattoo you had, revealed by the tiny top and low rise sweatpants you were wearing. you turned to billie, making eye contact as you continued to sing.
you wanna put 'em in your mouth, pull 'em all down south
you wanna turn this shit out, that's what I'm talkin' about
pu-pu-pu-put 'em in your mouth, pull 'em all down south
you wanna turn this shit out, that's what l'm talkin' about
you wore a teasing smirk, your eye contact unfaltering as you jumped around. they began to lower the two of you to the stage as you sang the chorus. once you unfastened the harness you jumped onto the stage, billie going in the opposite direction as you as you sang. finally, as billie’s part came up, she ran to join you.
eat it up for lunch, yeah its so delicious
you finished off, feeling a hand touch your waist. billie smirked back at you, the two of you definitely remembering the process of making the song.
don’t have to guess the colour of your underwear
already know what you got going on down there
its that lacy black pair with the little bows
the ones i picked out for you in tokyo
you had one final surprise for her. as she mentioned the black underwear, you pulled a pair out of your pocket, half grimacing while fighting a smile, tossing it towards her. the crowd went wild, but they didn’t know one thing. billie had seen you put that exact pair on under your sweats earlier. she picked up what you were putting down and you could almost see a light igniting in her as she thought of the idea of you not wearing underwear. she continued to sing, but you saw the change in her. before, the singing was almost performative, but now it was like she needed you, like if there wasn’t a crown of tens of thousands, she would’ve taken you right there and then.
i wanna try it, bite it, lick it, spit it
pull it to the side and get all up in it
kiss it, bite it, can I fit it?
she continued to sing, the two of you now facing each other. you ran backwards as she ran forwards, but the distance between the two of you was very little. the tension was palpable and it had left the crowd more energetic and loud than it had been all show. they jumped around, but their phones recorded every second of it.
y/n likes girls, yeah you know i hit it
billie sang, causing you to give her a fake shove, sending her away from you. as you two worked through the rest of the song together, you performed on opposite ends of the stage, jumping up and down with those there.
when the song ended, you met back in the middle. as the crowd roared, she moved the mic away from her mouth.
“no underwear then huh?” she said, her eyes not meeting yours as the two of you smiled at the crowd.
“nope, just waiting for you to finish up here,” you teased, finally looking at each other. you sent her a smile before walking off, waving at the crowd. you swayed your hips a little extra, which did not go unnoticed by your girlfriend, whose eyes followed you until you were out of sight.
“my wonderful girlfriend,” she said to the crowd, licking her lips.
the show continued flawlessly. you watched her from up in a v.i.p. box, but your mind was elsewhere. you loved watching billie perform, but you just couldn’t tear stop thinking about what would happen when you got back to the hotel room. meanwhile, billie was in the same boat. she loved performing and the crowd was so live it was impossible not to enjoy it, but one corner of her mind couldn’t wait to take you in the bedroom.
finally, the show wrapped up. security escorted you to the black suv and you waited patiently for your girlfriend. when the door opened, you immediately smiled. she hopped in, sweat dripping down her forehead from the performance.
“you did amazing billie!” you cheered as the car pulled out.
“thanks baby,” she beamed, “the crowd was amazing, wasn’t it?”
“they were unbelievable,” you agreed.
“oh, by the way” she began, searching through her pockets, “i believe these belong to you.”
she held up the three pairs of underwear that you’d thrown on stage, a smile playing at her lips.
“mm maybe,” you teased, “do they look familiar to you?”
“uh huh,” she said, playing along, “especially a specific pair that i saw earlier today, but on you.”
“got uncomfortable,” you shrugged, looking out the window.
“i don’t remember them being uncomfortable last week?” she questioned with a smirk.
“we’re here, ladies,” the driver says.
you both stepped out, thanking him before being escorted up to your room. in the elevator, it was dead quiet as the security accompanied you. you two stood apart, hands to yourselves. you tried to hold her waist, but she smacked it away. you looked at her face, only to see a familiar facial expression. she smirked at you evilly, fire in her eyes.
when the room door finally shut behind you, the two of you immediately began to make out, hands searching each others bodies.
“you can tease me and make me wait all night, but then can’t wait two minutes to the room from the elevator?” she said between kisses, resulting in a smile from you.
within minutes, your clothes had been tossed all over the room and you were laid down on the bed. as much as you wanted to give back to her after an exhausting day, you knew she’d been thinking about what was between your legs. her hands reached down to your pussy, fingers running over it slowly. she soon inserted two fingers, pumping them in and out as she used her thumb to rub your clit.
she moved down the bed, pulling your legs to bring them to the edge of the bed. her head quickly found its way between your legs. immediately, they clenched around her. her tongue focused on your clit, licking it, rubbing it, circling it, while her fingers continued to pump and curl in and out of you. you began to pant quickly, the familiar knot in your stomach forming. before long, you were on the verge of an orgasm. your moans became louder, signalling what you were feeling to billie. she smirked, and all it took to send you over the edge was for her to lightly bite your clit. you panted in satisfaction. billie looked at you and smiled, satisfied with her work.
by the time you were back from the washroom, billie was knocked out in bed. you smiled at the view. you picked up her phone to check the time, seeing a message from her manager.
“awesome fucking collab.”
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