#this will probably get 0 notes but i dont care !!!!! i have the most severe picaresque brain rot
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andypartridges · 1 year ago
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songs from picaresque (2005) as posters :-)
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mbat · 9 months ago
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this is my review of the roblox 2024 'the hunt' event, its not really necessary but i keep thinking about it so i need to get my thoughts out even if no one cares, and yes this will be a LOT of text.
important thing to note: i only found out about the hunt event when there was a week left to it. i had only stumbled upon it by luck because i decided to try playing roblox again after a few months of not playing, and had curiously clicked on the hunt button displayed pretty prominently on the side of my screen. my only regret with this event is that i didnt find out about it sooner.
this had left me with very little time to do some of these games, and so i didnt get to finish a good number of them in time, and had ended the event with only 77 badges, which is still a lot, but left me with 23 unfinished. those games will be labeled DNF (did not finish). if i had had the time, i for sure wouldve gotten the 100. 
this isnt to mention that even after i had found out about it, for several of the days that week i was busy spending time with my family and doing stuff like a normal person, so i had even less time to do it.
with that out of the way, my commentary and ranking (at the end) of the games.
Steep Steps - DNF, i didnt like this game before this event, and i didnt like it during it. some people like a challenge, but i never liked steep steps flavor of challenge, im a checkpoints kinda guy. i despise that if you fuck up, you have to start ALL. OVER. i had gotten partially up the mountain before someone else had moved the ladder out from under me and sent me and someone else halfway down the cliff in a spot that was disconnected from the actual path, forcing us to restart the whole thing. fuck. that.
Gunfight Arena - this one was... okay? you just had to collect a bunch of items that dropped when people died, which was at least a good quest compared to some of these other ones, but this one didnt stick out to me. i had to go find someones gameplay of this game to remember what it even was, i literally didnt remember. not bad, just mid.
Mega Hide and Seek - DNF, i was on a serious time crunch by the time i got to this one so i really didnt have time to try and play this game properly, i couldnt find good hiding spots for the life of me so i gave up on public games. tried to do it on a private server with my alts (i have 2 alts lol) and i did what i thought was the requirement ?? it said to win 2 rounds, and i did, but it didnt count it? did i need to only win them as the seeker? i didnt have time for it, as ive said. dont know why it didnt count it.
Muscle Legends - if i remember correctly, this was the first game i did. its just one of many idle/clicker games, which is a genre i have multiple issues with, mainly the laziness of them. easy win, forgetful and stupid game.
My Restaurant! - forgettable. i want to say i had played this game beforehand, so maybe i had a restaurant established? either way i literally dont remember playing this, but its marked as complete and i wont argue with that. you just have to serve 100 customers, whatever.
Bike of Hell - pretty easy imo, though it can probably be a pain if youre not used to these kinds of games. just get to the end of a timed obby on a bike. 
Lumber Tycoon 2 - HELLLAAAAA EASY WIN. literally just enter a cave, find a creepy but cool looking bird human creature (i loved it), and present it with a piece of a log. you dont even need to have played the game before, it accepted logs from even the most basic of trees. my many hours on this game were meaningless to this task LOL
BedWars - DNF, there were very few games i didnt get around to playing during this, and this was one of them.
My Hello Kitty Cafe (Build) - just another restaurant game, but hello kitty themed. yet again the task was 'serve 100 customers!' which was as easy as just setting up some functional blocks and setting up some employees, and then sitting around for maybe 5 minutes while the game did all the work for me. 0 challenge.
War Machines - this one was whatever. you just play as... i think youre iron man? going around an island killing a bunch of NPCs and collecting the items they drop. was annoying when other players killed me, but all around not much of a challenge and was fairly forgetful.
Spray Paint! - you have to find some paint cans around the small map, easy quest. saw a guy drawing a dick despite the fact that i had the 'other players drawings visible' option turned off. wonder if theyre doing alright.
Murderer VS Sheriffs Duels - DNF, i hate games that rely on other players, especially during an event like this because you really cant be like 'hey lets make an agreement so we can both get this badge' because most of these randos really dont give a fuck about you. youre meant to win like 5 duels or something idk anyway i tried to do it with one of my alts, and for some reason it didnt work? i cant imagine the game knew i was on an alt, i literally dont know why it didnt work. 
Shindo Life - DNF, literally dont remember what i was meant to do in this or even what this game is, i think i played it for like 5 minutes to try and see what the quest was and for whatever reason i decided to play a different game instead.
Dungeon Quest! RPG Adventure - repetitive. the first 2 quests were extremely easy as i had already played this game and was higher level than the NPCs i had to fight, so defeating enemies and obtaining loot was easy, but for some reason it wanted me to defeat the boss 10 times, despite the fact that i finished the first 2 quests within 2 playthroughs of the dungeon. this led to me having to do the dungeon 10 times, which took way longer than i think it shouldve because i couldnt just walk to the end and kill the boss, i had to kill every enemy to unlock the door to every section of the dungeon. easy quest, but a bad quest. whats annoying is that when i went to look up someones gameplay of this to remember what the details were, they only had to defeat 2 bosses. bruh.
Metro Life - easy and forgettable. hop in a hot air balloon, collect some floating orb thingies, and exit the hot air balloon and talk to an npc.
Royale High - easy and forgettable. fly around a little map and collect eggs and return them to a nest. you didnt even have to 'search' for the eggs, they were more than abundant and glowed against the dark map. 
RB Battles Minigames - DNF, "win one round or play three consecutive rounds", to quote the quest. i played three consecutive rounds, tried to talk to the npc, and for some reason it didnt count me playing 3 rounds. tried again, didnt work. broke ass quest, in my experience. 
SCP: Roleplay - fairly easy, though a teeny bit of a challenge. you have to go get an item from a house, but the twist is that theres enemies along the way you have to fight, and they werent too hard to fight, but with many of them in fairly small spaces, it was a little annoying how they crowded me. not a bad quest, not the best either. 
Club Roblox - DNF, i dont think i even played this one? i think i kept skipping it when searching for games and just forgot to even try it. 
Slap Battles - this one was easy if you knew what you were doing, but iirc the game didnt explain enough to me what to do so i had to follow a tutorial. this was an issue with a few of these games, but i genuinely dont know if you wouldve been able to figure this one out on your own, or at least i wouldnt have been able to. 
Driving Empire Car Racing - easy one, just do a few races. only complaint is that it only had one race map for me to play, and i wanted more than just one, but it wasnt a bad map and it was actually a fairly decent one. not a bad entry. 
Super League Soccer - the quest was very easy, just complete 2 matches. you dont even have to win, or even to participate really. i think i just afk'd for most of it, i made a goal at one point! but yeah, basically just one where you can sit around if you want, or participate if sitting around for like 15 minutes is too boring for you.
Brookhaven RP - this one has my fucking respect because its an actual fucking egg hunt. it didnt succeed at the goal that most of these had, which was to make the player familiar with the game so that they might want to play it more, but it was good because it was an actual fucking egg hunt during THE EASTER EVENT. literally just walk around a small area of the map and collect like, 20? giant eggs. it actually took me a minute to see some of them, though it was all around still very easy.
Survive the Killer! - this one was one that actually had you play the game for at least one round. you had to find some battery thing on the map during a round, which had you avoid the killer and eventually need to carry the battery to an exit (which was timed i believe) and return the battery to a machine in the lobby. not a bad one, though the only version of murder i ever want to play is gmod or among us. fairly good quest.
Tower Defense Simulator - fairly easy! also i thought it was fun that the little guys used for the defense were reminiscent of the tf2 mercs lol, at least a little bit. i would say this one was pretty well balanced though maybe slightly balanced in the players favor. it was very easy to acquire the money to add more guys and level them up, though i remember i did have to sell a lot of them during the final boss to kill the guy. i remember this one a bit fondly, it was a pretty good quest. 
The Floor Is Lava! - fairly easy, you just had to wait for the hunt map to come up (iirc it only happened every 8 rounds), and when it did come up it was pretty easy. forgettable. 
War Tycoon - DNF, one of the ones where you had to find the crates around the map. wouldve been easy, but like i said, i dont like the ones where you have to deal with other players, and the thing is with these games is that if a player spots you, they are very likely to try and kill you, and i just really didnt want to deal with 12 year olds one shotting me while i searched for stupid boxes.
Treasure Hunt Simulator - yknow, i really shouldnt have liked this one at all because its basically just a clicker, but i was almost enjoying it slightly. maybe it was because it was one of the last ones i did so perhaps i was going a little nuts. you just had to get some chests, and the first two were very easy and only took a few minutes, but the last one took some grinding, which was a bit annoying. though once you realize that you can honestly just grab any chest with enough patience, i earned a lot of money very quickly by just nabbing a lot of stone chests despite their kinda high breaking number. easy, though tedious.
S6 Ultimate Football - just like the soccer one, you literally dont even need to do anything, just sit around. the goal is to play 4 quarters, and the only annoying part is that those quarters take SO. LONG. the dumb thing about football is that the timer is merely a suggestion and what should be 3-4 minutes can sometimes be closer to 10 or more because the game pauses every few seconds everytime the players make any damn movements and then they spent like 30 seconds replaying the clip of what happened and explaining what happened and blah blah blah I DO NOT LIKE SPORTS!!!!!!!!!!!!! IF I WANTED TO WATCH SPORTS AND HEAR ABOUT SPORTS I WOULD GO TO MY DADS ROOM AND ASK HIM. HE WISHES SO BADLY THAT I LIKED SPORTS AND I DONT. anyway this was fucking stupid.
Emergency Hamburg - iirc this was just one where you needed to deliver like 1-2 things from point A to point B across the map. forgettable, but not really bad. more of a time waster than anything.
Twilight Daycare - This Was So Uncomfortable. i literally did not want to be a baby or a parent/babysitter ive already been both in my life thank you very much. it was easy, but literally why did i have to go through this experience. also to clarify im not a parent, but ive had to babysit my nephews a lot of times. i do not like taking care of other people.
Arsenal - while im not a fan of fighting games/shooters, i have to admit this was actually a pretty good quest. also it was a little bit fun, though i could say that about any decent shooter, its not that i hate them, its just not really my genre. you just had to complete a map made for the event, and it was well made.
Warrior Cats: Ultimate Edition - i think i completed this in all of 5 minutes, which was disappointing. i thought id have to go on a hunt all across the map, and i wanted to! but all the eggs i needed were just right next to where i spawned. its not like i even needed to make a character either, ive played this game before so i already had a character pre-made. it would get points for actually being an egg hunt, but it loses them by how much i just didnt even get to do.
Project Smash - this one was whatever and forgettable. its an arena fighting game, and every few minutes an egg spawns and only one person can grab it. i think i grabbed it by the second time it spawned. its easy as long as youre lucky to be near it when it spawns. and again, im not a fighting game type of person, so i was bored playing it.
Ninja Legends - ANOTHER. FUCKING. IDLE/CLICKER. GAME. i hate these games with a passion. you just have to get to a certain point or click enough times or who CARES dude. shit game, shit quest, i fucking hate these games.
Natural Disaster Survival - DNF, look man, i know this game is a classic and has been around for a long time and its been pretty popular fairly consistently that whole time, but ive never been a big fan. for some reason i just can never get good at this game, and yeah yeah whatever its a skill issue, but i really just never could no matter how much i tried. i think the quest was for me to survive a few rounds, and i just couldnt.
PLS DONATE - this one was weirdly decent? you had to do a quest for an npc which led you to a bunker type area where you had to do some actually not-so-bad minigames. a fairly quick play, and it didnt actually make you spend robux like i feared it would. that said, someone did follow me around asking me for robux that i very much did not have (ive been stuck at 8 robux for a few years now LOL i just never bothered paying money for more) and i was like. dude im just here for the hunt. i think it wouldnt be surprising to mention this guy was a bacon hair in the default clothing.
Piggy - DNF, i heard the quest was good but i couldnt figure out what to do, and i couldve just watched a video but i was running out of time and just left it behind.
Pet Simulator 99! - DNF, by far one of the worst ones, and near unanimously the worst according to the general playerbase, and its very easy to see why. this game is a very good summary of the issue with "simulator" games on roblox, which arent even simulators and are literally just IDLE games, and its actually just a joke it was included, and its quest was a joke as well. lazy game that only wanted your money, and it wanted you to sit around for literal hours doing NOTHING while your pets gathered an obnoxiously large amount of money for you, and even then they wouldnt get enough to finish the quest i swear. i played it for maybe an hour or two before i decided i literally did not have the time to do it before the hunt ended, and if by some miracle i had the other 99 and didnt get the 100 before the event ended, it would be because of this game. i literally got up and made dinner at one point, which had me walking away for 30-40 minutes (i checked back in every few minutes to make sure i didnt disconnect) and when i got back it only gave me enough to get maybe halfway through the quest, but i knew that it would take me like 5x that amount of time to get to the end. fuck this game, fuck this quest, fuck roblox for their greedy corporate bullshit that led to everything involved with this one.
The Strongest Battlegrounds - it says that i completed this one and ill take its word for it, but i literally do not remember playing this for the life of me. even watching a video of someone else doing this doesnt bring back any memories for me. clearly its forgettable.
Strongman Simulator - in this one you have to lead an egg through a series of little mazes and obstacles, which is pretty easy. would be forgettable except for 2 things, starting with the bad one, some random guy said he likes to touch kids and then said 'particularly ones named [insert my username here]' in which i had to tell him that im literally 20 years old and not a kid, and he was like 'age is just a number' so i reported him because even though he was likely just an edgy kid, thats not fucking funny to joke about. the second and more positive one is that somehow me and someone i used to know that i was still friends with on roblox, we both were happening to do this event at the same time, and not only that, we ended up in several games at the same time, and this was one of them. this was the one where i finally had the guts to ask if they remembered me and where we knew eachother from, in which they said yeah, and we went through the quest together. i just thought that was neat :] despite some personal issues that arent anyone elses fault, i remember the protozone fondly (the protozone is where we knew eachother from lol)
Creatures of Sonaria Monster Kaiju Animal - this one was okay, you just had to play the game basically. it again falls into my issue with a few of these in which you have to rely on other players not fucking you over, and people almost did for me. one of the quests is to reach adulthood without dying, and someone nearly killed me at some point just because they could. it was fine i guess, but im not one for these kinds of survival games. also to be honest i thought this was a fakemon game and i was excited for it to be before i realize what kind of game it was, and im sad that one of the fakemon games wasnt part of this event, as theyre really good games actually.
Undead Defense Tycoon - this one was fine. you just had to get a certain number of eggs from specific zombies that would come attack your base, and obviously you had to build up your base to protect yourself from the oncoming hordes. not really bad, but not really good. time consuming more than anything.
Need More Friends - this one has you collect crystals around a small map, and then play through an obby while finding a code for a door. it was... fine? not a bad one, but it wasnt really a breathtaking memorable experience. i guess it would land higher on the list because it wasnt really bad or anything. 
Wild Horse Islands - this one just has you do a short timed race. it was quick, easy, and forgettable.
The Mimic - you just have to play the game and walk around the map while collecting enough eggs to buy the badge. i guess theres meant to be a challenge in that youre meant to avoid the giant creature hunting you down, but in my experience it was more focused on other players and only killed me one time, making this a very easy experience and kinda boring.
Total Roblox Drama - a roblox version of total drama island, down to including characters that were very clearly based on the real characters from the franchise, only with changed names to avoid copyright or whatever. i actually had a lot of fun in this and weirdly made some connections and i think some enemies? i ended it in 3rd place! the mission was only to survive long enough to reach the merging of the teams, but i was so attached to the experience by that point that i was trying to win, and i almost did! the biggest obstacle was that there was one person who was so good that i almost think they were cheating, and me and the guy i ended up teaming with found out at the end that they were using an alt account, which is DEFINITELY cheating. their alt came 4th, but their main came 1st lol. btw i played the strat of being as nice as possible to get on peoples good sides, and i think it worked? it got me to 3rd so i guess it did. also that person who cheated literally didnt think that what they were doing was cheating which is nuts.
Military Tycoon - DNF, another one where you had to get the crates and it falls into the same issue as the other similar one, i just didnt want to deal with people killing me all the time if i stepped out of my base. wouldve done it if i had time, but i didnt.
Maple Hospital - this one was.. fine? not a bad one i guess but it was whatever imo. you had to... im trying to think of how to summarize it but its hard. you had to question some patients, go to a bunker, examine the bunker, clean the bunker of toxic waste, go to an alternate dimension and break some alien eggs (??) and then come back and cure a patient of some alien disease they had ??? idk man it was weird. not bad, i guess.
Greenville - this one had you driving all around the map to collect some items. i have to admit that its definitely just meant to be a time waster and wasnt the greatest quest, but it was just a simulation of what i do in most games LOL i usually just explore maps and fuck around like that, but it really was just meant to waste your time. i will say im impressed with how big the map is, but it really was mostly empty space so im not _that_ impressed. i think its meant to be based on a rural area in wisconsin or something. there was a culvers so i assume it was wisconsin.
Deadly Decisions - this is a trivia game, though it also tries to be saw for some reason. i actually had to leave this game and play it again the next day because i was having poor luck succeeding at it, mostly because of the 'questions' that werent even questions and were just minigames that you were kinda fucked for if you werent lucky. i feared i was wasting too much time with it which was why i left and tried again later.
Rocket UGC Car Crushers 2 – Physics Simulation - it should not be this fun to crush video game cars UGH IT WAS ACTUALLY FUN i favorited the game to play it more later. you just have to do a few simple and easy quests, it was not hard. i spent more time on it than i needed to because i literally just wanted to see all the available ways i had to crush the car.
All Star Tower Defenses - DNF, i just didnt get around to playing it.
Collect All Pets! - DNF, i just didnt get around to playing this one, mostly because i assumed it would be another idle/clicker game, and idk maybe it was i literally dont know.
Cheese TD - i think this was the one where there was a map made for this event and i actually lost it once or twice, but i eventually completed it of course. it was okay, also it was mouse/rat themed so that was cute i guess. 
Restaurant Tycoon 2 - in this one you just have to serve customers enough that they drop 100 eggs that you have to pick up. i had apparently played this game in the past so i already had a functioning restaurant, all i had to do was wait around and make sure to pick up eggs when they dropped. whatever.
Car Dealership Tycoon - this one has points for being one where you run around and search for items, you dont even need to play the game as intended  lol. what i dont get is why it was bunnies instead of eggs, but at least thats still easter themed. it was a decent time.
Combat Warriors - DNF, i do not remember playing this, i think i just didnt get around to it.
Weapon Fighting Simulator - another. fucking. clicker. game. easy ass quest, boring ass shit ass game. i fucking hate clickers.
Tsunami Game - weird one. youre in a giant box and youre heading toward the other side of it while trying not to get pushed back to the start by varying levels of tsunamis, some of which can be easy avoided or jumped over, and others are harder to avoid. you have to go to a certain crevice in the walls and walk through a tunnel hiding in the side of it, which leads you out of the box to reveal youre in the desert, and you need to find an alien whos just chilling by a mountain. i took longer than i needed to because i like exploring and there was some stuff to look at in the desert, but it was easy once i knew what i was doing.
Funky Friday - just friday night funkin. you just have to play songs, and you dont even need to play them well lol. you can actually just play the songs solo and set it to 'whoever has the highest score wins', and the other half of battle never earns points, so you can just earn a single point and still win. whatever.
Death Ball - DNF, this is my personal least favorite. the actual game itself is fine, but the hunt quest specifically is fucked. you have to defeat a boss, and for most of the battle its fine, but by the time the boss has very little health, even when i was full health, i would die within 20 seconds. it hits you with every attack at once and way too much at once, i literally played this several times trying to defeat it and i just couldnt. i dont know how i was meant to do this, and i didnt have the time to figure out a strat. how the fuck was a noob meant to win this fight, ive been playing for over a decade and i couldnt.
Dress To Impress - this game is so fucking funny to me because they have these semi-realistic bodies but the heads are just the giant square ass robloxian heads and it does NOT look good dude it looks so fucking funny. i still think its really funny how people try so hard to have these detailed and really pretty makeup covered fashionable faces in roblox but then theyre plastered on heads that are so square they might as well be a minecraft block. sometimes comedy is so simple. that said i did like the clothing in this game and its honestly not a bad game! the quest was also not that bad, though it was kinda whatever, you just had to walk around the clothing room catching bunnies that were running around, specifically you had to catch 20 before the next round began. more repetitive than anything, but lucky it doesnt last long.
Drive World Drifting & Racing - repetitive but short, you just need to drive between some points back and forth for a few minutes to collect parts to make a car on a stage. eh.
Dragon Adventures Fantasy Pets - this one just has you walking around, fighting some enemies, and bringing an egg back to the start. kinda whatever quest, but i will say that the dragon models are really neat.
Spongebob Simulator - DNF, tedious bullshit idle/clicker game.
Swordburst 3 Boss - DNF, just didnt get around to it.
A Wolf Or Other - tried playing this one, realized i didnt have time to do the quest at the point when i tried playing it, and just didnt get back around to finishing it before the event ended.
Emergency Response: Liberty County - this one has you going around, finding and following some clues or something. there was like 8 clues in total but you only had to find the first 3 to complete the badge. i think my only issue is that it felt like you had to know the map to do this one, because it asked you to go to specific places that would take you a long time to find if you didnt know where to go, or would probably just not even be something people would know to look for.
Legends Of Speed - another 'simulator' where you just have to walk around for 30 seconds and boom you get the badge. very easy and quick. ugh.
Sonic Speed Simulator - this one has you running around a pretty big map to collect a specific part up to a certain amount. also yes, its all themed around sonic and you run around as if youre sonic and stuff. pretty fun for a quick play, though if the entire game is like the hunt map, i imagine it gets old. this is a good time to say that i remember the videos i was watching while playing most of these and i remember i was watching a video about avatar the last airbender and character designs, it was a good watch. also during the scp one i was watching a video about indian representation in 2000s cartoons and it was pretty informative. i had more fun watching these videos than playing almost all of these games LMAO
World // Zero Dungeons & RPG Adventure - i had already played this game a little bit ages ago so i had no issue defeating enemies, of which youre meant to kill a bunch to get the eggs they drop until you get a certain amount. easy, forgettable, more of a time waster than anything, but thats what this whole game felt like which is why i stopped playing it in the first place.
Escape Running Head - this one is basically like a nextbot game but youre running through little mazes or whatever. i was skeptical of it and maybe i shouldnt have liked it but it was a little bit fun for what it was. all you had to do was play the first 3 levels.
Elemental Powers Tycoon - this is an extremely generic tycoon game that is literally just a copy of almost every other modern tycoon. i chose the devil element, which is NOT an element, and it was themed after that chainsaw anime guy i guess? anyway your task was to find an egg that spawns wherever, defeat a boss that spawns every few minutes, and complete the tycoon. easy, boring, forgettable, whatever. and again its like, dude i dont want to have to fight other people who take delight in killing me whenever they get the chance.
Life Together RP - ill give this one points for being an egg hunt, but it was very easy and quick. all the eggs are around spawn in a very small park, and theyre hard to miss with how bright and fairly big they are. the only one you can manage to miss is the one hidden inside of a slide, because its the only one not out in the open.
Berry Avenue RP - this one has you buy the ingredients for an acai bowl, buy an apartment/house, make the acai bowl, and eat the bowl. easy, forgettable, felt like i was simulating what boomers think millenials do. also i thought it was broken because the first apartment i bought wouldnt let me walk through the door, turns out i just had to buy a different apartment. weird.
Toilet Tower Defense - bruh... why. i do not understand the skibidi toilet thing and this was clearly based off of it. also the first time i tried playing it i ended up in a lobby with a guy speaking spanish who chose the hard mode when i was trying to do easy, and i awkwardly tried to communicate with him through google translate... and then i realized i didnt even need to play that map of the game so i left and did what i was actually meant to do, which was collect eggs from various parts of the game. it would gain points for being an egg hunt and also making the player play the game a little bit, but like... it loses them for being about toilets.
Lumberjack Simulator - UGHHHHHHHHHHH FUCKING CLICKER GAMES FUCK OFFFFF
Break In 2 (Story) - iirc this was the one where for some reason the group of people end up in the base of some criminal organization and you have to fight some enemies every few minutes. it was whatever. you just had to survive until the end i think. also there was some guy in the attic that i thought was freddy fazbear for a minute but instead it was a cop, so you can imagine my disappointment.
Football Fusion 2 - DNF, another game that makes you have to deal with other people, but both quests it gives you rely solely on other players. you have to tackle someone, and you have to catch a ball from a teammate. despite playing for like 30 minutes, i did not manage either. this game sucks and i do not like sports.
Astro Renaissance - i think this one just has you go around a map collecting some items and then fighting a really easy boss. seriously they did not think that boss fight through, i literally just stood outside of the arena and shot it when it was vulnerable because the arena didnt have walls lol. easy but pretty
3008 [2.73] - i love this game btw. i have good memories in this game, which actually include the person i mentioned earlier from the protozone! we made a little cult where we worshipped the lamps because the light scares away the employees at night, and we even had a dramatic story of heroism and betrayal. anyway the hunt event quest in this game is to find a computer, activate the ability to have quests, wait until nighttime to do those quests, and theyre fairly simple if you can find the objects needed, and then just survive until the next day to get the badge. i played this one last because i knew i would like it most, and while it was fairly bare bones and quick, i am openly biased and enjoyed it. i just like playing this game.
Anime Dimensions Simulator - fairly easy, i think you just needed to complete two timed maps to get the badge. i actually failed it the first time cause i was taking too long to just kill the enemies, but i quickly got a hang of the game and finished it pretty easy. not a bad quest or game, though i imagine it gets old fast.
Catalog Avatar Creator - DNF, i think this one was one where you fight people...? i joined this one thinking it was a different game, saw the quest and realized i didnt have time for it, and never got back around to it. i dont remember what the quest was.
Doors - DNF, this is apparently a really popular and good game, but i just never understood it. i avoided it, and obviously just never got around to doing it. no hate to the creators, i just really never understood the appeal of this one.
Adopt Me! - this one has you go through some maps and do some minigames, it wasnt bad and i surprisingly liked some of the maps actually. i especially liked the creepy one with the giant dragon things, it was so cool looking <3
Big Paintball 2! - DNF, didnt get around to this one
Blade Ball - fairly easy, just have to play a few rounds to complete the quest.
Obby But You’re On a Bike - controversial opinion i guess, but i like this one. the quest isnt noob friendly and ive heard everyone else hated this one, but since ive played this game before and already had half the worlds unlocked, it was a quick and easy one for me, and fun because i already liked and played it lol. my only struggle was barely a struggle, as i dont like being timed and the first quest was to do the first world in under 13 minutes, and i only had 20 seconds to spare on my run when using the basic bike. This game definitely wants your money, but ive gotten good at ignoring that part of the game.
Arm Wrestle Simulator - another clicker, who cares.
Mega Mansion Tycoon - you just have to complete the tycoon up to a certain point, as eggs spawn after you get to certain points in the tycoon, and you need 4 to unlock a book that gives you the badge. forgettable and a time waster.
Barry’s Prison Run Obby! - you either dont need to complete the obby to get this badge, or my game was broke as fuck, because you need to get 10 donuts to get the badge iirc, and all of them were just... sitting in one place. easy, also this one was kinda gross. I can appreciate the acab spirit though
Pull a Sword - another. fucking. clicker. game.
The Survival Game - DNF, this was actually one of the first ones i played, but i didnt have the time to finish it. you had to progress enough to be able to fight an npc that was guarding a chest that held the badge, and i almost got there, but i didnt quite progress enough. i honestly just ran out of time on this one. 
Redcliff City RP - another forgettable one where you just drive around a map collecting items and driving really far inbetween. whatever. 
Carry a Friend! - i will admit that i was very lucky here. me and some random guy latched onto eachother and did it together, and we failed a few times for various reasons, but luckily this dude was chill and didnt abandon me lol. i only wish you didnt need to restart the whole thing everytime you fail, but once you understand what to do for each part of it, its pretty easy to just speed through it back to where you ended off. i can imagine how much it wouldve been the biggest pain in the ass if i didnt get so lucky, but if it came down to it i mightve just used an alt tbh.
Bayside High School - lol you just need to play what is basically guitar hero but on the keyboard, but unlike the friday night funkin clone, you actually have to try for this one. i dont play games like this, so i failed the first time, but i got it the second time. you have to get a C or higher to get the badge. honestly a pretty good one, i only remember being frustrated because, again, not the kind of game i really play, so i was not good at it.
Livetopia - this one has you walk around and smash a crate and melt some ice and get a vault or something idk whatever, its mostly a time waster with a hint of a minigame in it as you have to do a matching game two or three times, but it really is mostly just wasting your time on purpose.
Snowboard Obby - this one is a source of controversy, as the original quest was that you simply had to only play the game for 15 minutes, which meant people could literally just go idle and not even disconnect and be done, _but_ by the time i got to it, the quest was changed so that you had to do the first 100 levels (i think there was only 100?) but honestly they were pretty easy. i died a few times, but it was never enough to make me want to rage quit or anything. not a bad one after the change, but i can see why people were upset with it at first.
Fruit Battlegrounds - last but not least, another fucking fighting game that relies on other people. this one sucks, especially if you have no alts or friends to help you. you have to reach level 15, which is easy and just a time waster, as you can just spam a move and not have to actually attack people with it, but the second one is the one thats stupid. the second one is that you have to kill two people without dying. if youre unlucky enough to run into people who literally just want to ruin your day, and i promise you i did, then its a fucking piss fest. luckily i have 2 alts, so i found a spot near one of the spawns where i could hide and kill my alts. fuck this game honestly
and with that, the end of my commentary of each game. i know im not the target audience, as this game is meant to be targeted to kids and im an adult by now, but i feel like it should be worth something that ive been playing this game since i was 7 years old, 13 years ago. this game has changed a lot in that time, and ive played a few of the easter events by now, and this one was just... yikes. most of the games were low effort money hungry garbage. i wont go on a rant about it, but i really do have a lot of issues with modern roblox, and this event really does feel like a decent summary of those issues.
i dont even know if i could rank them... most of them really were just mid garbage. How am i supposed to rank games that all blend together and feel like they really didnt care? excluding the ones i just straight up didnt play, i can really only say this:
last place goes to death ball, second to last place goes to pet simulator 99. first place goes to... i dont know. none of them particularly stick out to me as being really worthy of a first place spot.
i wouldnt say this experience was a huge waste of my time and i regret doing it, and that it all around sucked, but it really wasnt as good as it very much couldve been. with some better game choices and some less lazy quests, this couldve been an actually really cool event, and a way to show off some games that are clearly full of love and passion, but instead it just... wasnt. roblox pushed all of the effort onto the playerbase, chose games that were clearly only there to make money, and this easter event didnt feel like an easter event. the one word i feel i can use to describe it is 'disappointment'.
i still love roblox, and i wont stop playing it, but i keep hoping maybe itll be better, and it just isnt. it took the turn that many companies and other things make where it decided that its main goal was to make money, but it forgot about the people that even made it possible to have that goal. its not like they ever didnt try to make money, even when i first started playing they had builders club, but there was still so much passion and love and it felt less corporate and greedy. there wasnt 200 idle/clicker games on the front page that were full of pop ups begging you to spend robux. tix actually allowed you to buy items without spending real money on them, and maybe they shouldve just changed how that mechanic worked instead of getting rid of it, but i heavily doubt theyd ever consider bringing it back in any form, only keeping the currency that you have to pay real money for, leaving you shit outta luck if you dont.
whatever man. its like growing up with a cool friend and then watching them become a soulless business man and still sticking by their side, but most of the time its not fun to hang out with them because theyre a corporate shell. but sometimes, just sometimes, they still shine through.
0 notes
dreamrecorder · 4 years ago
Note
Ok so- idk if you’ve seen demon slayer;; but there’s this episode (it was during the spider fambam arc) aNywaYs- so like. Rui yeets ties* (i guess-) Nezuko like. Up in the air. With his weird spider thread jazz— and like. It’s sHarP weird spider thread jazz— so she’s like. Yknow. Being sliced and diced with string— but it kindaaa reminds me of like. Xiao. And his like.... weird... sad.... uh. Karma. Thing. Like y’know where he’s like hanging from his arms- red stuff. Yeah. So like. Now for the actual request
Xiao’s s/o (female if you don’t mind;;) gets kidnapped by like— the fatui or smth. And they tie her up like Nezuko :D to be like “lol haha Xiao be all like-” and she’s just. Like. Dying. Slowly. Dripping b l o o d and yknow. All the tea. And Xiao comes to rescue her— and he’s like 0-0 “wait...” and he realizes that’s like- exactly what happens to him- and so. He beats the fatui’s butts saves his s/o, anddddd she like.
Idk. This is where I need your angst expertise ❤️ like- she could d i e. In his arms. And poor Xiao would be so scarred omg poor thing- BUT THE ANGST- but at the same time;;;; the f l u f f of him being able to save her just in time and she was like fighting for him the whole time or whatever and ended up needing him to save her anyways- and then Xiao feeding her almond tofu until she gets better ❤️❤️❤️
IM SORRY THAT WAS SO LONG- im probably going crazy from lack of sleep from reading fics for too long sndndnsnsj
But if you do this,,, BLESS YOUR SOUL I HOPE TO EITHER BALL MY EYES OUT OR SQUEAL FROM THE WHOLESOMENESS-
Anyways.... thank you! Have a stellar day~ ✨❤️
The heart yearns and the wind heard
lmao this ask is so adorable i hope you’d enjoy this ksks
anyway, full Angst train up ahead but there are moments of Fluff too. There are mentions of blood and violence if those are not your thing- dont worry guys, this goes with a happy ending cos you and Xiao deserve one~ on a final note- non canon compliant and suuuuuuper long- like- legit this is very long
The Yaksha sighs.
He’s here again. His mind and heart has returned his being into this crimson world his demons have created within him.
He feels it. He feels the corruption binding him tighter again for every death he brings by his tainted hands.
He looks at his bindings. And ever so slowly, the red and black coiling around his person will eventually reach his heart.
One day, he thinks, all this crimson and black in this world will swallow him whole and he will see the light no more.
Xiao sighs again.
This is his karmic debt.
~
The moment you stepped foot within Wangshu Inn, you knew he was in his prison again. After giving a quick greeting to the inn keeper, you hastily went to Xiao’s room. The closer you got, the heavier the atmosphere became.
You reached his door and knocked softly. As expected, no reply as he continues to struggle to take back his control over himself. Without hesitation, you stepped in. To anyone else, they would have instantly met his spear at their throats, but with you, this doesn’t happen. Instead, you see him crouched on the wooden floor with a hand on his chest. His knuckles were white and his breathing was ragged. His amber eyes- lost. Observing his form, yes… his moments of corruption are becoming progressively worse.
With swift steps of familiarity to this routine, you went to him and grasped his shoulders.
“Xiao, it’s me…” You whispered with clarity. And oh- how your voice brought a wave of comfort to his soul.
“N-name…” His voice cracked, but him calling to you is always a good sign.
You gave him a small smile and proceeded to grasp his hands together with yours. After which, you then leaned your forehead to his to chant your prayers. As your prayers progressed, slowly but surely, the corruption begins to fade along with the black mist that covered him. However, you took note how this ritual took longer than the last.
Once everything is done, Xiao just slumped onto your shoulders, still breathing deeply. “How are you feeling?” It was a useless question you asked every time this happens, but you always, always, have to make sure.
Usually, he would mutter a small ‘fine,’ but now- words seemed to have left his mind and all he could muster was an almost-unnoticeable shrug.
Truth be told- his response disheartened you, but you did not show it. Instead, you opted to simply encase him in your arms and caress his hair. After all, these are just one of the few, rare moments Xiao would leave himself into your care. Xiao is aware, himself, that his state has been becoming worse and worse. And you both know, that a day would come when he would just attack anyone- friend or foe- without a trace of hesitation. So, just this time- he speaks his feelings.
“Name?”
You answered immediately with a questioning hum.
“What would you do… when I finally lose control over myself?”
It was very subtle, but he felt how your hand stopped caressing his hair for a second, then proceeded to the previous task at hand again. In all honestly, you can never find yourself having an answer to that question. “And why would I ever let that happen to you?” You questioned back, fully aware that you were dodging his question.
Silence surrounded the two of you, unsure on what to do with the sudden heavier atmosphere.
Not wanting to face the cruelty of the world yet, Xiao simply buried himself on the crook of your neck even more. And despite the ghostly sensation of his lips on your skin, you could feel him mouth the words ‘I love you.’
“As long as I’m here,” you whispered, “nothing can hurt you.” And that was the most beautiful lie that the Yaksha has heard, but he was willing to believe all the same.
~
When word about Fatui diplomats starting a bank reached you, there was a nagging feeling in your head that trouble would bring itself present anytime soon. It was like an itch that wouldn’t get away. And the only way to have that itch gone is to scratch it.
“You are absolutely a fool.” Xiao stated darkly with crossed arms, for once disagreeing with the plans of his master.
“We can never know what their intentions are unless we let them start their bank, no?” Zhongli said as he gazed at the marsh spread beneath him.
The Yaksha only scoffed but said no more.
Building up your courage, you deemed it was your turn to voice out your thoughts, “Um… Rex Lapis, I see your point, but wouldn’t it be best to resolve the problem before it persists into something larger? We all know- All of Teyvat knows, that the Fatui are not to be trusted.”
Your archon offered you a kind smile, “I understand your worries, Name. However, as of the moment, they have not presented themselves as such. If they truly are our enemies, then it would be beneficial for us to know their intentions.”
You frowned deeply at his statement. Seeing you do so, somehow, your archon immediately identified your main concern.
“Is this about the Tianquan assigning you to be her representative for the Fatui?”
The moment those words left his mouth, a growl tore from Xiao’s throat, but he held his tongue.
“Did Ganyu tell you?”
The Archon nodded and you sighed.
“I volunteered, actually.”
And at that point, Xiao vanished into thin hair, but you could still his sense his presence around.
“May I know why?” Zhongli questioned gently.
For a moment, you struggled for words. You didn’t know how to describe this ‘itch’ to him. “At first, it was supposed to be Ganyu, since in the Tianquan’s eyes- Ganyu is an adeptus and she does not know that I am, too. Perhaps she didn’t want to put me in harm’s way, a ‘visionless human’ at the side of a harbinger. After some convincing to Ningguang for my volunteering, I spoke to Ganyu next.
“The adepti are divine beings that walk here in Liyue. I had this feeling that putting a divine next to a power-hungry harbinger would become an issue. I told Ganyu that, since I looked ‘harmless’ and ‘ordinary,’ the harbinger’s interest about the divine would never surface.”
A stretch of silence wrapped around them as Zhongli pondered over your words. “Perhaps, are you also planning to dig out the truth of their arrival?”
You nodded, “I knew you would allow them to stay, so I just took it upon myself to unfurl their secrets.”
“Hmmm… I grant you permission on doing this. However, should trouble arise, do not hesitate to tell us.”
~
The glare pointed at you was strong. Even without him saying a single word, you could hear his phantom voice in your head speak with such coldness, What are you thinking?
You simply gave him a reassuring smile, “I’ll be fine, Xiao. I may be a human in mortal eyes, but please do remember that I am also an adeptus, no matter how weak I am.”
Xiao releases a huff, but still sits by your side at the floor of the balcony, letting the moon kiss his skin. “You’re not weak.” He mumbled as he snaked his hand to yours.
To him, you will never be weak. In fact, you were the strongest being he has ever laid his eyes on. Not physically, no. It was you mental and emotional fortitude. Back during the Archon War, he always admired how you kept your head held up high no matter the suffering you have experienced. No matter how much death surrounded you, you still fought. And that strength made you a survivor. During the war, you never failed to help the wounded. Even when someone dies under your care, you held strong for the departed and for those who are left behind. You were a pillar of hope.
He brings your hand to his lips and kisses every knuckle “… Just be careful. If ever you are in trouble do not-“
“Hesitate to call your name.” You finished, beaming at his words.
~
As someone who used to be a healer and a doctor, you were quite familiar with several mild skin diseases that mortals can suffer from.
If there is an itch, you do not scratch it- for you will only aggravate the area even more.
Now that you’re working alongside the Fatui as the Tianquan’s representative, the itch you kept feeling was only irritated more. Especially whenever you spoke with the Harbinger who goes by the name Childe. And since your work requires you to cooperate with him, you also don’t miss the chance to discover what he hides, should the opportunity presents itself.
Childe… his azure eyes certainly have their… charm to those unaware. However, you knew better. You know he’s capable of drowning you just by his eyes. While he may be a cheerful man, his eyes lack the lustre of joy. The eyes are the windows of the soul, yes? If so, all you see is an unending ocean that you do not want to swim in. The surface may be calm, but the deep is relentless. However, duty bound you are- deep within the ocean, you shall find the secrets the Fatui hides.
Again, another scratch to the itch, but it only irritates you more.
The news of Rex Lapis’s death became the catalyst of you confronting the Harbinger. From Yujeng Terrace all the way to Northland Bank, you ran (with Ningguang’s permission of course). Before you can even open the door to his office, something caught your eye.
It’s faint, but you’re an adeptus. You sensed elemental traces, just smack bang at the middle of the door. You carefully scrutinized the tracings, and fortunately you knew Snezhnayan script. And what you read only made your heart sink.
It’s ready.
With the adeptal arts, you managed to uncover the origins of these elemental tracings.
Scratch.
Without hesitation, you followed these tracings until it led you into some ruins.
Scratch.
Following the tracings further, you find yourself in a dimly lit room. Wary, you summoned your weapon imbued with your element.
Scratch.
Searching the room, you came across several antique boxes. You opened them.
Scratch.
What you saw were familiar. Too familiar. Dimming the room more with your element, you find more Sigils of Permission hanging on the walls and on the ceilings. The energy within them were faint, but with enough numbers, it’s enough to kill a-
“Well, well well, I thought you’d be there mourning for your Archon. But here you are, snooping around someone else’s research material.”
The sound of his voice made you sharply turn your head to him, your stance now more offensive. “What are you planning?” You bit coldly.
The Harbinger hummed a small tune, “Nothing much… But! If you’re really curious, I guess I could tell you.” He hummed some more but you knew he’s not finished. Once he finished his tune, he grinned to you menacingly and the depths in his eyes became even deeper and darker, “After all, I won’t let you leave this place with you knowing my secret~”
~
There was this one time, Xiao struggled against himself so much, he scratched himself red so that he could anchor himself back to the real world. You remembered how much you cried as he slept in your arms. You never wanted to see him do that again. Seeing him hurt himself also hurt you, too. It was like a stab in the heart, then a twist, and twist some more. A slap in the reality that you might lose him one day.
As he slept, you solemnly observed the wounds he sustained himself to. They were angry red, just like blood.
Now, you, yourself scratched that itch in your head too much into a wound for blood to seep through. You scratched too much and now you have to bleed from it.
~
You were slipping in and out of consciousness. Sleep was tempting you more and more but you know you have to wake up. You were aware that this is going on for days.
Everything hurts. You remembered how his blades, imbued with the Sigils, weakened you thoroughly. Every slash he brought to your body just drained the energy away from you. But still you had to do something.
He wanted an adeptus- he wanted an adeptus in order for the Sigils to grow stronger both in number and in power.
Now here you are, bound by chains and suspended at the middle of this empty room. These chains were adorned by talismans that drained away your energy. You were bleeding from your wounds of your previous battle.
Drip. Drip. Drip goes the blood and pools on the ground underneath you. The ground, you barely noticed, was lined by Liyuean script which enacts the ritual of the Sigils draining your divine power from your blood.
To the eyes of a sadist- you were a picture perfect in a canvas. A dark room lined by the damned Sigils, glowing an eerie gold. Then there's you with your bloodied clothes and chains. The red pool underneath was casting a red glow on your way, giving you a red shade to your pale skin.
Everything hurts-
And everything was driving you mad.
You can also feel the Overlord of the Vortex feed from your energy through the Sigils. You sensed his lust for power and revenge. You felt his anger and the corruption within him. You felt his hatred and his want to bring death. For days that felt like years, you’ve been battling against that very same god in your head. This battle was not something you shall not lose to and failure is not an option. If you fail here, then Liyue will fall. 
This god- he was driving you mad slowly.
If ever you are in trouble, do not hesitate to call my-
You shut the thought from your head. You are not going to call him. You will not speak of him. You will not think of him. You will not call him. Not to this place where his corruption will grow. No. You Will Not Call Him.
If it means that me not calling you will keep you safe from the corrupted remnant of a god- so be it. 
Please
However, no matter how much you denied yourself to call his name, no matter how much your heart yearns to be with him- the wind does not ignore the pained sob that left your lips.
~
Ever since the news of Rex Lapis's death and the visit of the Traveler with a Sigil in his hand- the corruption within him just bloomed into something feral.
The Sigil- there was something wrong about it but Xiao doesn't know what is it that is wrong. Then there's you- where are you? Surely with the news of their Archon's death- it would send you to bring forth a meeting for the adepti to talk this over. But now- for days- you remain not by his side.
With you missing- the demons inside him are slowly taking control over him, taking advantage of his vulnerability for you. For each passing day, it was slow torture for him- The worry bubbling in him was consuming him. He glared at the Sigil between his fingers and not failing to notice how his dark aura covers him once more. 
“Traveler,” Xiao called sharply, “What is it you intend to do next?” 
To any mere mortal, the look his eyes held were enough to strike fear, but the Traveler stealed themselves- meeting the adeptus’s gaze with an equally serious calm. “I have my suspicions on a certain harbinger and I-”
“Where?” The Yaksha growled.
“In the Golden House.”
Without a word nor warning, Xiao placed a hand on the Traveler’s shoulder and teleported them to the place where the Exuvia is hidden.
To the Traveler, everything happened so quickly as one event led to another. One moment, they were standing among unconscious bodies of the Millelith then the next thing they knew a corrupted and demonic gust of wind flew them away to the side. Regaining back their vision, they could see Alatus’s spear now at Tartaglia’s barrier made of Sigils. 
Alatus narrowed his eyes at the floating talismans and began to calculate the flow of this incoming battle with precision and accuracy despite his losing control over himself. 
It was a tense minute of sizing each other up, but eventually, Tartaglia has broken the silence with his annoying innocent voice. 
“Who would have thought that I’d have the honor of fighting another adeptus of Liyue?” 
The question immediately fed the corruption within him, the dark aura exploding at it. He knew that he should not believe in the Harbinger’s words so easily, but the glint in the latter’s eyes held truth. You could be out there, hurting, scared, alone. You could be out there, bleeding out. You could be out there dyi-
His aura exploded once more at the thoughts spreading in his being. With a burst of unspeakable power, Alatus lifted his weapon and pierced the barrier once more, this time breaking it without failure. At the threat, Tartaglia backed away as he donned his mask.
In a similar fashion, Alatus, too donned his mask. “I will ask you once,” the Conqueror of Demons spoke with a deathly calm, “Where is she?”
~
He should have killed him then and there. But the call of the Overlord of the Vortex must not be ignored as it threatens Liyue. 
In the small opportunity of escape, Childe took it. But he was weak and injured as Alatus swiftly threw his spear to block his way and teleported right in front of him. In a show of power, the Conqueror of Demons lifted the mortal by the neck.
“I will ask you again, where is she?”
In fear, Childe told him everything and at his every word, Xiao listened carefully- never speaking once. But the anger within his heart, it boils- it rages. His amber eyes bored into Childe’s soul- thinking what he should do to this mortal. Oh how killing him would be so nice. However, when the Yaksha’s gaze landed on the regal form of the Exuvia, he merely threw the mortal in its way.
“Killing you would have been easier. However, the crimes you have presented against Liyue are not mine for me to judge.
I leave the Harbinger to you... Rex Lapis.”
Once out of the Golden House, the Overlord roared once more, shaking the lands of the nation. However, along with it, he heard the faintest of voices. I’m so sorry... I couldn’t hold him back anymore. 
Only then did the demons in his heart freely took control of him. Just like the stories of old, where the Yaksha walks, death follows. But they were no stories. In his way towards the ruins where you were held captive, every step he took brought carnage and even more death and blood to taint his hands. No Fatui will leave this place alive. The very being of destruction ended many lives. Each death, the demons were growing stronger.
All he wanted now was to kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill killkillkill killkill kill killkillkillkillkillkillkillkillkillkill
Then seeing you suspended in the ceiling and bound by chains. Blood was painted on your lifeless skin. Wounds were littered and bruises were blooming on your form. But most of all, your eyes. What were once full of life and hope- now empty and blank. His demons quieted down.
Broken. You were like a broken porcelain doll.
“N-name...” His voice cracked, not believing it all.
With haste, he quickly broke your binds and caught you in his arms. he was fast to check for your pulse and your breathing. And thank the Archons, you were breathing but barely. You were now walking the line between life and death. With all his might yet a gentle caress, he hugged you for dear life. “Name... It’s me...”
But still, your eyes still held no recognition and it shattered his heart to pieces. With further inspection, he sensed the presence within you. A corruption. A certain evil. 
“Name, stay with me please,” Xiao begged with desperation as he fought back tears. “It’s me who supposed to be the corrupted one between us, not you... I’m not allowing you to leave me, you hear me-”
With a ritual of the adeptal arts, he started purging and purifying the evil left by the god who fed from you. He is not letting you stay alone in your prison, not for a second longer. 
Xiao prays and he never prayed before. Even to his master. But just this once, He prays with desperation. You are the light in his darkness. You are the moon in his night. 
The ritual was a delicate process. For every word he spoke, he was rewarded by your screams of pain and the writhing of your fragile body. He wanted to stop, but he can’t. He had to physically restrain you from trying to escape from his embrace and from hurting yourself. And for every cry you released, Xiao merely shuts his eyes clos just for him not to see your pained eyes. Every now and then, Xiao speaks gentle apologies and words of encouragement for you. You were coming back. But still, the evil persists.
You writhed and scratched against him, until you were creating more wounds for blood to seep through. When it came to a point, you began pleading and begging for him to stop, that was when Xiao had shed a tear. So he continues the ritual, his prayers, and his apologies. They were arriving to a point where the ritual is reaching its conclusion but your screams only grew louder.
Please, just a little more...
Please, just stop...
Please...
The corruption disintegrated away from you in a forceful release of dark energy. He was breathing deeply, attempting to calm his loud heart. When he placed his gaze on you, you were breathing rapidly and your eyes were searching blindly and your hands were desperately holding onto him.
“X-Xiao...” You whispered, “Where am I? Where are you?”
With a sigh of relief, the Yaksha hugged you again closer and his forehead to yours, fearing you would go away again. The action made you lift your hands to his face, still searching blindly.
“I’m here, Name... I’m here.” At his voice, the dam in your eyes broke as you cried silently. Xiao was not adept in emotions, but for you, he will face them gladly. He lets you cry as he gives you soft whispers of assurance, safety, love, and promises. However, you were not crying because of what had happened to you. You were crying for him. After experiencing such corruption-
You sobbed some more- you were this close to him losing you and you could not bring yourself to imagine if your roles were reversed.
“P-please,” you said with a broken voice, “please don’t go to the place where I can’t follow...’
The words, at first puzzled him, but after a few moments, he realized and once more it broke his heart. Bringing you closer, Xiao let loose the tears he was holding back. With a gentleness unexpected of the Conqueror, he simply littered your face with kisses. “I promise if only you would do the same.”
With your smile that he loved dearly for so long you too spoke your promise, “I do.” They were simply two words, but the comfort they bring into the Yaksha’s heart was in volumes.
After that, you shared a few tender moments in each other’s arms. Simply relishing the feeling of their familiar warmth. A little later, Xiao spoke, “Would you like to eat some Almond Tofu once we get home?”
The question made you giggle at his innocence, so you agreed. Despite you needing physical medical attention. But Almond Tofu with him? Yes, you two definitely need some emotional healing.
A/N: fINALLY dONE lmao this was supposed to be short but angst really makes me want to write longer everytime haha~ anyway this request really made me ponder bout genshin stuff with all the corruption this and corruption that but then a question popped up like-
how did childe replicate the sigil of permission? since sigils are imbued with divine energy, i just thought how did this guy accumulate so much sigils to the point of freeing Osial- a god!!! soooo i just played with the idea for a bit then figured out maybe these pieces of paper get the divine energy from a divine source right? and the adepti are divine beings of liyue and another thing- you guys might have noticed the change of names in some scenes- i dont know but i think somehow different names represents different side of a person like- we have childe the cheerful harbinger then tartaglia the power hungry harbinger- there’s Alatus who’s calculating and cold, there’s the Conqueror of Demons who’s ruthless and unforgiving, then Xiao who is calm and humane- lastlyyyyy i might post this in ao3 ksks
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holsten-from-hasa · 3 years ago
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I posted 19,513 times in 2021
88 posts created (0%)
19425 posts reblogged (100%)
For every post I created, I reblogged 220.7 posts.
I added 283 tags in 2021
#last life spoilers - 176 posts
#liveblogging mcc - 31 posts
#3rd life spoilers - 25 posts
#hermitcraft - 12 posts
#fave - 11 posts
#candy man curse - 7 posts
#empires smp - 6 posts
#yeah - 5 posts
#my ocs - 5 posts
#oh my god - 5 posts
Longest Tag: 103 characters
#time is an illusion and it reminds you what hapened this week even if it feels like a month ago already
My Top Posts in 2021
#5
You know what? Fuck you. -unzombies your cleo-
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44 notes • Posted 2021-08-23 20:38:16 GMT
#4
hey what's the deal with empiresonas if you dont mind me asking? I'd like to maybe join the community in some capacity but I dont know how to do that
Empiresonas Discord Server was a server originally started as a place to discuss and develop ocs in the empires world. As it stands, it's become more of a general empires discord after just under two weeks.
It's a friendly place overall, though we do have over 100 members. And we do have some of the most cursed discussions I've ever seen. But there's also a lot of cool headcanons, aus, and worldbuilding ideas around and people pretty much always around to discuss them. We also have roleplay sections for roleplaying the empires ocs themselves.
We also have a rather incredible amount of server lore given we're nto even a week old. Scott Smajor joining for at least a day, everyone being forcibly turned cyan for Slut Smajor Saturday (originally as a way to give Scott the Scott Smajor role sneakily but now happens weekly), the "interesting mob vote" as it was called in one stream with Fwhip, Gem, and Sausage. We also have a fishfucker pride flag, our own (possibly still a work in progress) cards against humanity deck made by @zlixlriffs, and a thread thats been running nearly two weeks where most messages are just 'whorenoth'.
In summary, it's a fun and friendly place but can be chaotic and cursed as hell. We're also constantly on the watch for containment breaches in streams, at this point. If you'd like to join, I'll leave an invite link below:
https://discord.gg/xejdMcb6CY
56 notes • Posted 2021-09-05 07:36:11 GMT
#3
Hello hermitblr, me and @coppertip-canary were discussing inhuman hermits and they had a really cool headcanon for Xisuma's powers.
Basically: Xisuma has a type of shapeshifting where he can mimic things, such as mobs while keeping his humanoid shape. This takes a lot of energy and isn't immediately reversible and it takes longer to revert with more drastic changes. He could also mimic another player, but then be stuck looking like them for who knows how long.
So I raised the idea: what if X pushed his powers a bit too far, further than he usually would, and became an actual axolotl. And we bounced ideas back and forth for a while.
And given he's working with Evil X, that raises the oppurtunity for the newest capitalist on the server to have to carry him around in a bucket, a bit like X does with Mini Me. Yeah he'd grumble a lot and claim he hates doing it, but given his recent interaction with a strider and the fact he cared enough to do part of a video when X was ill, he probably wouldn't mind too much.
Other fun things:
- X still has to do admin duties, but has to do it as an axolotl. Evil X has to hold him up to the admin panels because he lost his helmet when he became an axolotl. Tiny axolotl slapping buttons trying to get things to work while occasionally dipping back into a bucket.
- The joys of the other hermits finding out and carrying X's bucket around with them, despite his annoyed axolotl sounds. They have absolutely terrified him half to death several times, at least one of them managing to drop the bucket once.
- The hermits accidentally manage to switch X with another axolotl from their aquariums. They don't realise until much later, when X manages to undo the changes. Can't decide if a hermit coming home to doom guy desperately tapping the glass going 'please let me out' or <Xisuma drowned.> appearing in chat is the funniest way for the others to find out.
- They fed him tropical fish, and he never stopped eating it. He refuses to tell the others that, but they've all seen him sneakily munching on one in a corner. They all get him tropical fish as gifts occasionally. He says he doesn't eat them but if you ask him where the fish went he changes the subject.
58 notes • Posted 2021-08-13 18:32:32 GMT
#2
Whorenoth
71 notes • Posted 2021-08-24 13:38:43 GMT
#1
xisuma: we're naming our horsie ray, like the sunglasses. ray-bans me: oh no. ray-bans summer sale.
160 notes • Posted 2021-07-25 17:35:57 GMT
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starsgivemehp · 4 years ago
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The Argument Against and Defense of Hetalia
Let me preface this by saying that I have not watched the show or read the manga in a few years now, and thus I am working mostly off of memory and what fan content I see these days, which is not a lot. Also, I am a gentile, and I don’t claim to know a lot about the Jewish community or traditions. I am, however, a writer and I have plenty of practice analyzing and criticizing works of fiction from multiple angles. With that in mind, this essay is an attempt to explain everything that is wrong and not wrong with the show, the comic strips, and the fandom.
I’m putting this under a read more for sheer length, this was 11 pages on Google docs.
Let us start with the list of grievances assembled largely from one post, the majority of which I had to go digging for as the original person in this post who mentioned Hetalia said, and I quote, “i dont feel the need to link a source for [hetalia] because…” and then listed two things, one of which is incorrect entirely. But I digress, I will address each one at a time. The list of grievances is as follows:
It is called ‘Axis Powers’ Hetalia
One of the main characters is a personification of Nazi Germany
The entire point of the series is:
Advocating for eugenics
Racial fetishization
Advocating for fascism
Nazi sympathizing/propaganda
The entire franchise is terrible due to rape jokes, racism, and Holocaust jokes
Hetalia fans are all terrible due to rape jokes and other issues
Death of the author cannot apply to this fandom
There may be more that are in other reblogs of the post in question, and I may add addendums further in this essay, but for the time being, I will address each of these grievances and explain the validity or non-validity of each, from a position understanding of both fans and of non-fans. Thus, in order:
‘Axis Powers’ Hetalia
When people talk about Hetalia, they usually are referring to the anime due to its widespread popularity. However, Hetalia began as a series of strip comics posted on a forum by Hidekaz Himaruya (and I spent a while trying to actually find the original comics, but I can’t, there are links to his blogs there in what I’ve provided). It later was formatted into a manga, and then later became an anime. While it was originally titled Axis Powers: Hetalia and the first two seasons of the show are named as such, it usually is only referred to as Hetalia. The anime seasons after said first two seasons have all been ‘world’ focused: Seasons three and four were titled World Series, season five was titled Beautiful World, season six was titled World Twinkle, and the upcoming season seven is titled World Stars.
For the purposes of tagging everything, I tend to see the tags ‘hetalia’ and ‘hws,’ which is short for Hetalia: World Series. This name of the third and fourth anime seasons is the most widely accepted and used name for the series as a whole. While it is true that, years ago, people referred to it as ‘aph’ for Axis Powers Hetalia, the fans and the series have put that behind them, for good reason. It is understandable, even righteous, to not accept the title ‘Axis Powers.’ It does draw focus to the WW2 era, and place the fascists and nazis as the ‘main characters,’ or even, ‘the good guys,’ which is not the case. Obviously, the Nazis were terrible and the entirety of the Axis Powers did horrible, unspeakable things during the war.
It must be noted, to anybody who has not seen the show or read the manga, that the first one to two seasons do have a ‘focus’ on the WW2 era, per se, but it largely talks about interactions between countries, as they are the personified party, and makes extremely few allusions to the war itself, and none to the Holocaust. I will address that in a later section. For now, the point to make is that after these original two seasons, Hetalia branches out into a much wider worldview, adds several more characters, and focuses more on said characters in individual arcs and offerings of historical facts - as generalized as they may be. Nobody claimed that Hetalia was correct in everything it said, but it aims to play out some historical information in a simplified and humorous way. This is due to the fact that the characters are all singular people meant to personify entire countries, which leads us to point two.
The Personification of Nazi Germany
This is the second complaint of the strand of the post in question that I was presented with, quoted as “one of the main characters is a personification of nazi germany.” This is an entirely incorrect statement. ‘Nazi Germany,’ as people call it, is the state of Germany during the era leading up to and of World War 2. The country is still Germany, the people were still German, the Nazi part comes from the political regime in power, a real world nightmare. In the Hetalia series, the characters are called by their country names, because that is who they personify. This may change at times. For example, the character now known as Turkey was previously called Ottoman Empire. They come to be when civilization starts or a colony is introduced to a place. This can be seen in the strip or episode where China ‘finds’ Japan as a small boy and begins to teach him reading and writing - and Japan thereafter invents hiragana. It can also be seen in the comic where a young child, Iceland, questions who he is and why he knows his people are “different beings” than him. The country that speaks to him (I only have the comic here in my likes in that list, the name isn’t mentioned and it’s been a while, but it might be another of the Scandinavian countries) explains that he is Mr. Iceland, they don’t know why he is Mr. Iceland, but they know he is.
What I am attempting to explain with all of these other examples is that there is no ‘Nazi Germany’ character. There is a character called Germany (or Mr. Germany), and all of his adult life, he has been called Germany. He is never addressed by anything else. He does, however, look remarkably similar to a childhood friend of Italy’s, Holy Roman Empire (or just Holy Rome), but as far as it has been explained in canon, Holy Rome went off somewhere and, later on Germany and Italy met as strangers. The general consensus is, due to the area where the Holy Roman Empire used to be is around-ish Germany, the characters are the same. But never, in any of the comics, anime, or movie, is Germany referred to as Nazi Germany. I don’t believe the word ‘Nazi’ appears at any point in time, even, though I cannot claim I have seen every shred of content, so I may be wrong. But I doubt that very much, as it is not in the nature of the series to do such a thing. Moving on.
Advocating for Eugenics
I will start and end this section by saying that Hetalia was, in the original post, roped in with Attack on Titan, of which (as far as I know) the author advocates for eugenics - or the idea that certain people should not be allowed to produce offspring due to their race or other factors. There is no example of Hetalia content wherein this disgusting opinion is ever mentioned or supported in any way. This is at worst a flat-out lie, and at best lumping Hetalia in with a much worse show that does do this (but I won’t get into that, I have never seen more than a few episodes of Attack on Titan and I don’t care to see any more of it. Throw your opinions or defenses elsewhere, I care 0% about it entirely). I have no more need to prepare a more detailed response to this accusation. It simply is not true.
Racial Fetishization
This particular accusation is a difficult one. Fetishization may be a strong word, as the series is largely a comedy. Everyone gets their turn in the spotlight, so to speak, so I find it hard to plainly state that any one character is fetishized or displayed as the most powerful. There is, of course, Rome, who only appears in small segments as Italy’s grandfather and is, in the series, touted as an amazing empire who had it all. I do not believe this is what the accusation is referring to. This accusation seems to be some sort of insistence that the show and creator believe that white people (or possibly just Germans/Nazis/the Aryan race?) are touted as the most powerful and nobody else can compare. I can confidently say that while that is never said anywhere, there are a few issues. Hetalia, particularly the animated series, had (and may still have) a longstanding issue of whitewashing countries that should not be white. This includes Egypt and Seychelles (who both later got a darker skin tone, probably still not dark enough though) as the worst offenders, and even Spain, Turkey, Greece, and Romano (southern Italy), and so on. Yes, this is a big problem. There is no defense against that. It should not be the case. These characters obviously should have darker skin. I will note, however, that many fans are already completely aware of this, have been complaining about it since the beginning, and tend to draw these characters with more correct skin tones in their fanart. This is a case where yes, the original content is not good, but the fans make their own fixes. If you are angry at Hetalia for whitewashing, good. You should be. But I do not believe this should reflect on the entirety of the content and the fandom (And note that I am not linking any particular fanart here, because I want nobody to go attack any fans).
It is also important to note that yes, a large majority of the series builds upon stereotypes. No, stereotypes are not good. No, you should not assume that the personifications of the countries encompass all citizens of said countries. The entire premise of the show is one person = the embodiment of a country, and that person changes and adapts with the times in terms of uniform and personality. It is extremely hard to do this without stereotyping. Most serious fans are aware of this, and do not in any way believe that these characters represent everyone from these countries. It may be true that much younger fans used to, and it may be true that people do not want to watch the show because stereotypes are, arguably, bad. But do remember that this is a comedy, and every character is picked on. Every one. And it is understandable if this branch of humor is not for you. I, personally, don’t like Family Guy or South Park or any shows like that for their humor. I also don’t attack the people who do. I ignore it.
Advocating for Fascism
This is another area wherein I believe the accuser is simply lumping Hetalia in with the original poster’s subject, Attack on Titan. Again, I will not defend or attack that show, as I do not care about it at all. However, regarding Hetalia, I can confidently say that it does not advocate for fascism. While the first two seasons are (sort of) set in WW2 era, as previously mentioned, the fighting is not really a big part, and nobody is touted as correct - only struggling in the conflict. For example, there is a scene where Germany, post WW1, is shown making cuckoo clocks by hand and lamenting the fact that he has to make so many thousands in order to pay back France. This is by no means painting fascism as a good thing, or explaining anything about how poverty and other struggles lead to the formation and rise of the Nazi party. It is simply a scene where we see a man frustratedly making cuckoo clocks and complaining while France’s big head jeers at him in his imagination. The surrounding scenes and the end of this one are making note of how Italy keeps coming over to his house to try and be friends and Germany keeps kicking him out because Italy is annoying and whiny. The episode further goes on to mention that Germany is attacking France again, and Italy has suddenly become his ally, and he is not happy about it for the aforementioned reasons. Again, this does not in any way paint Germany as being ‘right.’ The purpose of the segment(s) is/are to show him disliking the annoying Italy (whom the show is named for) and trying to get him out of his house before eventually giving up and accepting that they can be friends. Is it all 100% historically accurate? No, not by a long shot. Does it paint him as sympathetic? Sort of, you feel bad for the guy making a thousand cuckoo clocks, but only in the sense that he is one person doing a lot of work, a completely fictional situation. But Italy - and the audience - obviously know that attacking France again is not a good thing, so does it advocate the Nazis or fascism? Also no.
Nazi Sympathizing/Propaganda
I pretty well covered this in the previous section, but I will expand. I have alluded to the first two seasons as “focusing” on WW2, in a way, and also mentioned that this is a generalization of sorts, so here I will attempt to clarify. The first few episodes do, indeed, touch on ‘the way they all met’ in a sense; Germany is starting a war and he reluctantly becomes allies with Italy, and less reluctantly becomes allies with Japan, who examines both of them and decides he is content with this situation. However, none of it is very serious, and these ‘formalities’ give way easily to more humorous personable interactions, such as Italy hugging Japan without warning and the touch-anxious Japan pushing him off and getting flustered, Italy petting a cat and then freaking out when he is licked because a cat’s tongue is rough, the two of them ‘training’ by doing your regular old exercising and jogging and Italy being late, etc etc. Stupid, personable jokes.
On the flip side, the show covers the Allied Powers quite a bit too. A lot of this is the five big ones - America, Britain (/England/UK), France, Russia, and China - all meeting around one table and squabbling about various things. I fondly recall one scene where China arrives late and has a bunch of workers suddenly building a Chinatown in the meeting room because he was hungry and wanted his own food, and the others protesting. They are then offered food and become okay with it, because food. Other such nonsense plays out in other, similar meetings. There is also a segment where the Axis powers are all stranded on an island for… some unknown reason… and they set about attempting to survive via campfire and fishing and such. Twice (three times?) the Allied powers ‘attack’ them on this island via China whacking them each with a wok and, as the three of them are in a sad heap, something interrupts the scene to make the Allies retreat. One time, it is Rome’s sudden and also unexplained entrance across the sky singing a song, and another time, it is England’s preoccupation with a cursed chair. Also, at one point, Austria is playing a piano. Does any of this magic logical, real life sense? No. It’s stupid and funny and has nothing to do with war. These are just personable characters thrown into weird situations so they can be funny, with some extremely mild historical context along the way.
I will note again that WW2 is pretty much completely dropped after these two seasons, with the war hardly addressed at all, and future seasons focus more on other characters. The Scandinavians get to all have fun together, the Baltic trio is mentioned, there is a lot about Switzerland taking care of Liechtenstein (wow I spelled it right after all these years, go me) and being stiff and formal with Austria. There is also plenty about people mistaking Canada for America, and England and France squabbling throughout the years, and Spain finding Romano cute but also very grumpy, etc etc… This series is largely Eurasia-focused, yes, and it can be criticized for not being as diverse as it should be. But boiling it down to ‘Nazi propaganda’ is outright, obliviously false.
I don’t know if this is the best place to put this particular note, but I couldn’t think of anywhere else to place it, so here it will go. I would like to mention that in the series, some characters, like Germany and Russia, express outright fear of their ‘bosses’ in certain points in history. It is important to realize that Germany, Japan, America, etc… these characters are not the actual, real-life humans in charge of these countries, but people of a fictional, separate species than humans who grow up as the nation grows and have lives that are affected by these world leaders (we even watch in the show America shooting up from child to young adult as the colonies expand, and England comments on how quickly he grew up - but not as quickly as his people, of course. We’ll get to Davie later). The president of the United States is America’s ‘boss,’ and naturally, that boss changes every time the president changes. The emperor of China is China’s ‘boss.’ It follows, thusly, that at one point, Hitler was Germany’s ‘boss.’ The terrible person himself was alluded to, as far as I know, exactly one time, not by name, and no face was shown. In a very brief scene, Germany laments that his new boss is scary and he was just ordered to go force Austria to come live with him. Said boss is shown as, I believe, an evilly laughing shadowy figure. That’s it. That’s the scene. There is no other mention of Hitler, nor is there any mention of the Holocaust anywhere. One could argue that the show is then trying to say that the Holocaust didn’t happen, but I think such an accusation is frankly absurd. It’s a comedy, it was always a comedy, and what in the fuck would be comedic about a mass genocide in any way? Nothing. None of it is funny. Of course it is not brought up in a comedy.
Rape Jokes, Racism, and Holocaust Jokes
While I did somewhat address racism already in the section about whitewashing and racial fetishization, I have another clarification to make, especially regarding the jokes. A lot of people complain that there are rape jokes throughout the series, and that there are two Holocaust jokes. I will begin by saying yes, this is all true, those things did happen during the course of the show. However, it is important to note that all of those things happened in the English dub of the animated show, and none of these terrible jokes exist in the Japanese/subbed version, or the original comic strips.
The English dub is, on all accounts, pretty terrible. Everyone has an over exaggerated accent, there are the aforementioned jokes, there are name changes (England referred to as Britain, among them, very confusing), and the voice actors themselves make mention in commentaries that their goal in this job was, to paraphrase because I haven’t listened in a while, ‘to be as offensive as possible to absolutely everyone’ (and one of the English dub voice actors is even a convicted sex offender, but that’s it’s own mess).  Not the most glamorous or noble of goals. One could say ‘at least if it’s everyone, it’s not really racism, is it? Just humor?’ There is a case for that. Many comedians will say that they poke fun at everyone to avoid singling anybody out as inherently superior. It cannot be said to be the best way to make humor, but it cannot be said to be the worst way, also. Overall, I don’t like the English dub, I don’t watch it, I prefer the subs. And yes, the subbed version has a few issues of its own, but I can say that at least, no, it does not make any Holocaust or rape jokes. Are those kinds of jokes excusable? Fuck no. They’re completely inappropriate. Should you judge the whole series and fandom based on the grossness of the English dubs? Also no, the people who did the English dubs have zero to do with the original creator, the animators, and the fans. Screw them.
The Fandom Being Terrible
I must again preface by saying I was never super active in the fandom at large. I had my own little niche of friends and I stuck to them and I didn’t often branch out. I did, however, go to cons back in those days, and saw plenty of cosplayers. The main complaint I see regarding the fandom is that most of the fans are completely rabid, make a bunch of rape jokes, and even dress up as ‘Nazi Germany’ (iron cross and red armband and all) and pretend to shoot up synagogues. Now, I have not seen cosplayers do the nazi solute or do such photoshoots, but I can believe that people have done it. I have seen plenty of rabid fans, and some of the OCs created for Hetalia, especially many interpretations of individual states (or Antarctica), were extremely cringey, racist, and overall just not good. And yes, these things are undeniably bad. They are very bad things! Those people should be ashamed. They should know better, regardless of their ages or anything, for fuck’s sake. The nazi salute is not a thing you do jokingly, pretending to shoot people is not a joke. Everyone is aware of this. The people who did, or maybe even still do, those things need a serious sit-down and to be woken the fuck up, because they are acting terrible.
However, it is extremely unfair to paint all Hetalia fans in the same light. That is a very stereotypical thing to do, no? As I mentioned earlier, I stuck to my little niche friend group of fans, and while we all had our own flaws and were younger and kinda dumber, we never did things like that. I never did things like that. Rape jokes were never funny, I never liked them, I never accepted them. I have people I still know who still like Hetalia and they never made those kinds of jokes either. I think, as the years have gone by, a lot of the more rabid fans have died out of the fandom. They’ve either grown the fuck up or they’ve went off to pollute some other fandom. Recognize that, especially in the beginning, the anime was low-budget and had a lot of that old and gross queerbaiting and stuff like that, so it was undeniably a magnet for crazy yaoi fans. But the majority of fanart, fanfics, and just overall fan stuff that I see these days are nothing like that. Overall, the fandom has seriously calmed down. A lot of the focus is much more on taking these characters and applying them to other historical events with more accuracy than the show might give. The history in these fanfics and fanarts may also be of questionable accuracy at times. I personally once wrote a fic where I made allusions to the death of Joan d’Arc and, later, the death of Elizabeth I, but did I add much historic fact? No, do I look like a history major spilling all this? The point of the fic was England - the character - maturing through starting to love one of his rulers and recognizing a terrible thing that he did before. It’s not the best piece of work out there, and maybe someone could point out a few things I did wrong with it, but for what it’s meant to be, it’s harmless. Takes on characters not actually in the series, like Ireland, Scotland, etc etc are generally pretty mature from what I see, fanart tends to just be the characters in various poses and styles. The overall love the fandom has, I think, is in the better character designs and in the very concept of the countries as people who laugh and cry and live through war and peace for thousands of years. And here is where I address the final grievance that I personally saw in the notes of the post which started this whole thought process and essay.
The Death of the Author
A lot of people might not fully understand what ‘The Death of the Author’ means. The death of the author is a belief rooted in the 20th century that the personal intentions, beliefs, and prejudices of the authors of certain works can have no bearing on their produced content, because once it is out in the public, every reader may then have their own interpretation and belief system. By publicizing the content, the author ‘dies’ and the reader is born.
There are some scenarios where this cannot apply. One example is JK Rowling, a very special case of a very problematic woman who happens to be so powerful, and so rich, that consuming any type of official (or even unofficial) Harry Potter anything can and will give her that much more power to spread her TERF bullshit. Let me be frank: Any time that consuming a product is allowing a bigoted or problematic person to gain extra money or extra power that they then use for evil, the death of the author cannot apply. You cannot use it as a moral justification. You might perhaps use it as the reason why you struggle to let go of a fandom near and dear to you, as Harry Potter is to so many people, but you absolutely must recognize that purchasing the books, the movies, or any other official content is outright supporting a TERF.
That in mind, there are dozens of other cases where the death of the author absolutely can apply. The easiest, of course, is with authors who are actually dead, such as Lovecraft. Lovecraft was a complete bigot and racist, an overall terrible person, and his works are saturated in that racism. But he is dead, and his work is very popular, and there are ways to take and use his work that do not contribute further to racism and bigotry. All you have to do is slap a non-racist cthulhu on a page. Make that cthulhu eat everyone equally. That’s a good cthulhu right there, a nice, safe cthulhu.
So where does Hetalia fall in this spectrum of can or cannot have death of the author? I believe it leans more to the side of yes, you can apply it. For one thing, you can definitely find the show for free in some places, and watch it without giving Himaruya a single cent. The comics are also available online for free, and while you might be giving your ‘support’ by being a viewer, I think overall, that’s not only negligible, but does not contribute anything bad? The author of Attack on Titan has many charges levied against him in the post which prompted this, and arguably, giving him any money is bad. But as far as I have seen, while Himaruya might have started out with a flawed premise and may have some whitewashing issues, I have seen nowhere that he funds any kind of racist, nationalistic, fascist, etc anything of any kind. This is not like Chick-Fil-A, where offering any kind of patronage is (or maybe used to be) sinking funds into terrible organizations. This is not supporting literal Nazis, as the complaints claim. This is a largely mediocre series with good parts and bad parts and zero ties to horrific organizations or ideals. Consuming good fan content does not make someone a racist or a bigot or a nazi sympathizer. Even rewatching some old favorite scenes or checking out the new season doesn’t make someone that. By all accounts, the show is flawed but not a means to fund nazis.
The Bad Anything Else
I will now take some time to talk about some other problems Hetalia has, because no, it is by no means flawless. I already discussed the whitewashing and stereotypes and the mess of the English dub, but there is more. I made mention of the fact that battles and seriously bad events such as the Holocaust are not mentioned, and this holds true throughout pretty much all of the series. There are certain points where ‘battles’ of a sort are seen, but only flash moments. One scene in particular that I really enjoyed as a tween and can now see the problems with is the whole revolutionary war scene. This was a scene split into two episodes (for some weird reason, even an unrelated episode in between, like, what? Why??) about a particular (unnamed) battle in the American Revolution where England faced down America, they each had a gun with a bayonet, and England charged America and his bayonet deeply scratched America’s gun, and America declared he was no longer England’s little brother, and the whole thing was played out as an extremely emotional scene. England is lost in the past of seeing America as a cute little kid he took care of, who has now grown up and is being reckless and stupid, and America is all righteous and independent and proving he’s a grown up, it’s all very emotional, I cried, other fans cried, there was much fanart.
This scene is problematic in a way. Boiling down an extremely nasty conflict following lots of really bad laws and protests to this one scene doesn’t do history any justice. It says nothing about the struggles of the American colonists, the struggles of the British empire, the awful things the colonists did to the natives, etc etc. It is one small scene and it focuses on these characters as humanoid, with feelings, and completely ignores the complexities of history. And yes, in a way, that is bad. But it is bad in the sense that nobody can - or at least should - take this show to be the end-all be-all of history. It is not. It is not often entirely correct, and it picks and chooses what points in the past several thousand years to play with, and trying to use it as a map for history is a bad idea. However, this focus on the countries as human-like and struggling can also be a good thing.
It is also important to note that there have been other problems. The portrayal of South Korea, for example, is extremely controversial, and while I do not know all of the specifics, I believe that it was banned in Korea due to this, and the character was entirely removed from the anime, among other things. Obviously, a bad take, a bad character. There are also just straight up not great characterizations in certain cases. I don’t, for example, like anything about how Belarus is portrayed as a crazy psycho constantly begging Russia (her big brother) to marry her? I think that that is ridiculous, and I know nothing about Belarus as a country but I am pretty darn sure that that is not how one ought to go about portraying the country. There are a few other examples, but my purpose here was not to pull up a list of every country and explain what is correct or incorrect about each characterization. It is enough to say that some characters were not portrayed perfectly. But with that in mind...
The Good Anything Else
It is the most important to remember that this, all of this, is fiction. This is a silly, silly fantasy series. The countries are not humans, they are some weird semi-immortal species that share a universal language and know they are not human and are referenced by humans as ‘those people.’ They are fictional constructs. But the good out of all of this is that they explore human emotions. The American Revolution scene should not be taken as how the revolution was, and who might have been right or wrong. But it is a very emotional story of a big brother unable to accept that his little brother has grown up and wants to make his own choices. That, right there, is a heartfelt scene that I’m sure plenty of real people can feel something about. And there are plenty of other scenes that really grab you by the heartstrings, especially given how crazy, stupid, and humor-oriented the rest of the show is. And I will take a moment and enthuse about some of the more popular scenes that I think are, in fact, pretty good.
There is one episode in season 5, Beautiful World, where an American woman visits France (the place). This woman, Lisa, is blond and bears a striking resemblance to Joan d’Arc. While visiting some historical place somewhere or another in Paris, France (the person) spots her and rushes up with an odd look. When she questions him, he apologizes and offers to give her a tour of the area, which she accepts. He then proceeds to lead her around and explain some history and show off some beautiful sights, and he mentions some stuff about Joan d’Arc. She butts in and lists off some stuff she knows, he beams and looks proud and says yes, she’s right. The end of the scene has the two of them standing alone somewhere and him commenting how young Joan was when she was killed, and that he always wished she could have had a better, nicer life. He then states that he is very happy that she got it, while giving this American tourist a gentle smile. She looks away for a moment, distracted by something perhaps, and when she looks back to ask just who the heck he really is, talking about a historical figure like he knew her, he is gone. It’s a very emotional scene in a quiet sort of way, because the watcher/reader understands that he took one look at this woman and instantly believed that she was, in fact, Joan d’Arc reincarnated into a totally different and totally average life, and he is so genuinely happy that a woman he saw as a hero gets this chance to live normally. Whether or not you may personally believe in reincarnation, and regardless of how often other times in the show France is shown as an obnoxious sexaholic, this is an extremely tender scene that lots of fans seriously love. It is very ‘human.’ And I feel like this is what the series as a whole strives to offer. These human moments. They may be peppered in a sort of lackadaisical style in the anime, but they are far more prominent in the comic strips, so it is important to realize that that kind of scene is more of what the creator likes to focus on.
Another very popular and touted scene is the Davie scene. I don’t remember if it was put in the anime or not, I read it as a comic. It was a scene set in colonial America, where the man himself was just a very small child. Little baby America was hanging out in a field with a rabbit and sees this boy, who introduces himself as Davie. Davie brings America to his house and opens up a botany book and points out a blue flower (possibly a forget-me-not) that he wants to see but that isn’t in the New World. America assures Davie that he will find him one of those flowers, and goes off to do so. He fails his search and goes back to Davie, who is older now, but Davie looks embarrassed and turns and walks away. Distressed, America runs to England and explains about the flower, and England says the flower is not there, but they do grow at home, and he will bring some the next time he leaves and comes back. America happily waits, and when England returns with a bouquet of the blue flowers, America takes them and runs off to Davie’s house. He is let in by a boy who looks just like Davie and presents the flowers, and the boy then puts them on (or maybe in) a coffin of an elderly man. America, smiling, does not seem to understand what is going on, and hopefully calls the boy Davie.
This entire scene, in the comic, has very few words. Davie’s name is repeated a few times, but most of the rest of the ‘dialogue’ is in images. The flower, England saying it is not there, etc. This makes the scene extremely poignant, and when we reach the end, we, the audience, realize suddenly that while baby America was fixated on finding a special flower for his new friend, years and years went by, and that friend grew up and got married and had children and eventually died, all while America remained looking the exact same age and understanding the exact same things. Look, folks, I don’t know about you, but that is some angsty stuff right there. I cried. We all cried. We all miss Davie. Mention the name to fans and you will get sobs. We love you, Davie.
Which brings me to my penultimate point, that this series is heartfelt and, while it avoids a lot of the bad of history, can be very poignant about what human nature is like. Human lives are long, very long, but also so very short, they fly by. Some lives end in tragedy, others are mostly peaceful, and maybe we get second chances if you believe in reincarnation, maybe not. Maybe it’s good that our lives are so short, maybe the fate of living forever and watching people you connect with die is tragic. Or maybe it would actually be really fun, having friends for thousands of years that you may squabble with at times but ultimately care for. Maybe nothing is simple and life is about finding joy where you can, and everyone needs to sometimes take a step back and realize that everyone is flawed, and there might be good and evil but the vast majority of people are in a grey area, trying to live their own lives and do what good they can for whatever reason they might give. I want to end with one last topic, one I have not yet addressed this whole time. The big white alien in the room, if you will.
Paint it: White!
There is a Hetalia movie, folks, if you didn’t know it, and it’s called Paint It White. This movie has just as many silly parts as any other Hetalia thing, but it also has a plot! In this movie, strange, all-white aliens are starting to invade the Earth. They arrive and anything they touch, they turn into completely identical white humanoid blobs, even the country personifications. With this scary and seemingly-unstoppable threat, the main eight - America, England, Russia, China, France, Japan, Germany, and Italy - all try to infiltrate the alien spaceship in frankly hideous uniforms to find out more and figure out a way to defeat them. Hijinks and disaster ensues, and at the end, each of them is fighting a mob and gradually being defeated. Italy is the last one standing, and as Germany is slowly being transformed into a blob along with the others, he tells Italy to smile. Italy then finds (or has? the plot isn’t great, it’s just there) a black marker and he suddenly starts going around drawing ridiculous faces on everyone. He draws fitting faces on each of his friend blobs, like a stern face on Germany-blob, a deadpan face on Japan-blob, etc etc. The invaders suddenly stop. They look at each other, marker-faced, and start to laugh. Then their leader of sorts comes out and is basically like “wow, we thought you were all stupid and you have wars and stuff, but this? This is beautiful. Wow. We all look exactly identical on our world, and these faces are cool and new and unique. We’ll turn everyone on your planet back if we can have this magical thingie you’re holding.” And of course Italy hands the marker right over, and everyone is put back to normal, and crybaby, scaredy-cat, useless Italy saves the world.
The plot is, obviously, not super great. It’s not going to win anybody any awards. But it has a very poetic premise. The strength of humans is that they are all unique. Every human has a different face, a different body, a different life. Our differences may cause conflict, but they are also something to celebrate. At the end of the day, Hetalia is an okay show that can get you hooked on history and tries its best to teach you that we’re all only human and there might be war and conflict and bad things, but you have to reach for the good things and find yourself good friends and have stupid laughs and enjoy life, however long or short it may be. I think that that’s a pretty decent message to send out to people.
The Bottom Line
In the end, this is a fandom like many others. Hetalia has its flaws and its cringe moments, and it certainly had its fair share of awful fans. But I truly believe that painting it overall as nazi propoganda and one of the most problematic and harmful shows out there is a blatant lie and disregards… just about everything of the actual content. I think it is difficult for someone to concretely say anything is super good or super bad without seeing at least some of it, or doing some research, and this business of blithely going along with what everyone else says just because they use big danger words does not do anybody any favors. Spreading misinformation is, I’m sure, the exact opposite of what most people want to do. And make no mistake, I am definitely not saying that everyone needs to like, or even watch, the show. If you never ever want to watch this show in your life, that is absolutely fine. Go forth and never watch it. But mindlessly following the herd and yelling overgeneralized, unsupported opinions about it is not a good thing. I beg of you, do research on the things you want to form or share an opinion on, think critically, and for the love of God, do not swipe a giant paintbrush to forsake every single individual fan of a show as a terrible, awful person. By all means, hate nazis, they are pieces of shit. Boycott things that support genocide and fascism, yes, fight for equality, yes. But do not go accusing without thinking, and do not overgeneralize. I leave you with the words of my old laptop bag that I bought years ago at a convention:
Make pasta, not war.
Thank you for reading.
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afoolnottoloveu · 4 years ago
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heres some cm opinions i found in my drafts
i was tagged by gracie but i don’t feel like tagging anyone so u can reblog her post n add ur opinions and tell them i sent u ;)
-i agree the writers were pussys for not putting penelope and derek together but on the other hand their friendship was so valuable that i don’t mind it at all
-elle deserved better, but then again, she also deserves to be in Jail. 
-in reference to that post by @ m0rcia awhile ago about penelope acting out, well yes she also deserves to be in jail, and the fact that the fbi essentially blackmailed her to work for them is all kinds of messed up, but despite her anarchist views i have to believe that she really does love her job, 75% because of the people she met along the way, 25% because she gets to help people, 0% because she works for the fucking fbi
-the simple fact that almost every member of the team was held above the law at some point or another because of how close they were- well yeah they were a family, but they’re also part of the fucking government, how are you not going to report a drug addiction? or a literal murder? sorry but no matter how in love with cm i am, this truly just enforces my acab views
-emily prentiss i dont like u as a unit chief. as person great! as a friend and as an ssa, sure i love u. but- unit chief is where i draw the line. (on a completely offhand note imagine if jj became the unit cheif, the character development yummy)
-hotch’s trauma gets severely overlooked at times, (spoilers) man’s wife left him and so have countless agents that he loved and tried his best to care for, then he was blown up, then his wife was murdered, then he was stabbed a million times, and then he was framed for some shit idk i forgot tht episode it wasnt rly good, idk my point is that hotch deserved better (but contrary to what i just said they handled most of his trauma a lot better than pretty boy’s so...)
-i would be a hardcore jeidgirl if i didnt have tumblr and/or they started it earlier (jeidgirl thea!au)
-thanks for letting reid come back from his trauma! thank you for giving him a breaking point, especially when associated with his mom! why was this such a bad thing again? (okay yeah we dont excuse the drug addiction but- jkfgd)
-i alr said this before but why did everyone call spencer gideons apprentice? it was 110% morgan and it’s very evident, spencer is his own bean/being
-at first i didn’t like seaver but that’s because i was flooded with ideas that she was just jjs body replacement, but she really was her own character who grew. also she probably kissed spencer once and i’m not one to say if it went further than that
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somnilogical · 5 years ago
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case study: elle benjamin
the rationality community's least skilled exploiter of transmisogynistic coordination points known to me
when thinking about strategy, i often use the least sophisticated version of a given strategy that i know of to reason about the minimal elements of the strategy in general. i have an index of unsophisticated versions of things that i ping and ask "is this strategy basically this vector but with more optimization power behind it?" it helps compress a lot of information. to check, i can make a prediction given a set of examples of the pattern and test it.
(like i did with the transmisogynistic rationalist orgs "i bet this org has 0 transfems in positions of power" and yep they did, they all did.)
and thats how i factor strategies generated by agents with large amounts of optimization power. who might have more ability to optimize in a domain than i do.
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both of these claims are false. elle benjamin never let emma into the group. shes culpable for her continued choice to "believe" bigoted propaganda. just as davis tower kingsley is culpable for "believing" that anna salamon, the president of cfar, isnt involved in cfar's hiring.
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elle benjamin is deeply concerned about the treatment of trans people in the rationalist community. elle isnt that good at social optimization so this is an obvious false face. like a cop during segregation who runs an algorithm of "smile at people" if no black people are using the WHITE water fountain and "beat up a human" if a black human uses the WHITE water fountain. as long as trans women know their place as violent abusers like ▘▕▜▋, elle is happy.
if we start claiming we are women just the same as them and how people are treating us is wrong, if we protest against omnicide, if other people are coordinating against trans women along lines of transmisogyny; then elle decides its time to show us our place in the social order as male. violent, child abuse loving, misogynistic, strong-arming, men.
this decision-circuit is not peaceful. people who start trying to exploit transmisogyny in an attempt to coordinate with others against you only when you look vulnerable or they think they can get away with it and otherwise smile at transfems are with their whole soul given over to transmisogyny.
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erica's post is so passive-aggressive!
<<One issue is that i think this group is just too large to remain a high trust environment.>>
<<Thanks everyone for keeping this a civil place that deals with sensitive issues all these years!>>
in reference to my blog posts about how they didnt have any transfem mods and immediately took down hot allostatic load because it was a [[bad culture fit]] and [[incoherent]]. as if i were expected to keep some confidentiality about transmisogyny. i have no loyalty to keeping secret that kind of oppression, i signed no contract to that effect.
as if telling other trans people exactly what they did was "uncivil"! as if it were ruinous to society instead of ruinous to a cis women coordinating on transmisogyny.
as if posting hot allostatic load and talking about transmisogyny on my blog were less "sensitive" than the other things the group was doing which included posts like "How many romantic novels/movies/etc do we have left, once we take away all the ones focused on a man relentlessly trying to convince a woman through trickery and persistence and stalking that she should really have sex with him" and "the White Knight/Damsel in Distress dynamic" at the time HAL was taken down.
https://somnilogical.tumblr.com/post/175420481784/i-tried-to-post-to-rationalist-feminists-closed
its an equilibrium where anyone opposing the "peace" of transmisogyny is labeled "antisocial" and "disrupting things".
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would you say this woman is being misogynistic and "strong-arming" a female DA?
<<Last year, I was arrested twice in Sonoma County at Sunrise Farms and then Petaluma Poultry, two massive industrial farms that torture and kill hundreds of thousands of birds- while lying to the public about how these animals are treated. My crime? Asking the county to help the starving animals inside. Not just asking by email or phone call or office visit (though all these efforts were made and ignored), but asking by going right to the frontlines myself, exercising my statutory right to help neglected animals, and calling the attention of the authorities to this pervasive cruelty. The fact that the sheriffs chose to arrest us and ignore the animal cruelty broke my heart. It's hard to believe we live in a world where helping someone who is dying is the "crime" and not putting that life in danger in the first place. But have hope that this will change, and my hope growing.>>
<<Now, in response to the action at Reichardt, Sonoma County District Attorney Jill Ravitch has decided to file additional charges against me, Priya Sawhney, and Wayne Hsiung. We are already facing 7 felonies and 5 misdemeanors and we're still fighting for animals every day. Do you think new charges will stop us? No. And it wont stop the movement, either. They think they can stop DxE by targeting leadership, but they don't understand that we are a network of leaders. That every single one of us is leading the world to one of the biggest changes it will ever see. #RightToRescue>>
probably not because shes cis and looks like:
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laying down and making it clear that you offer no impediment to mass murder is not a female thing, its not a feminist thing. its a *you* thing, elle benjamin.
someone commented on the screenshots:
<<(It feels relevant that when I met this person a few months ago they went on a rant about the evils of TERF’s before telling me I couldn’t experience misogyny bc I was “male-socialised.” They apologised quickly after having it explained but the idea of their being the Font of Wisdom about transness to rats is insane.)>>
https://loving-not-heyting.tumblr.com/post/614660027724283904/ht-somni-for-screengrabs-this-sums-up-absolutely
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ozy brennan, i know what the fuck im talking about when i say "transmisogyny". ive been lied to then kicked out of a homeless shelter for being a trans woman. several men forced me to the ground and held me down and cut off my clothes while i shouted "I DONT CONSENT" locked me in a bare room then crowded around a window embedded in a door and said "i told you it was a guy" and a bunch of people came to gawk at my naked body. and so much more.
some of my interactions on the street in the bay:
<<at bart ppl would call me an ugly bitch and ask me to sleep with them in exchange for meth
someone tried to sell me something and i was like "im not interested in being scammed today" and they were like "bitch!!!"
i walked around in sf talking with a homeless women for ~8 hours and someone asked if we had boyfriends and offered to sell us meth if we went with him and i was like "no thanks" and she was like "how much?" but it was too expensive or something. she showed me lots of places to get food and shelter.
and like if i sit down in places for long enough people will come up to me and ask me if i have a boyfriend or if i want to go get coffee with them on a date.
sometimes ppl ask where im *really* from and if i was born a girl. sometimes ppl touch me on my back or thigh.>>
ive compared notes with cisfems, i get more solicitations to have sex with men in exchange for meth.
this isnt oppression olympics, this is "maybe 7-8 years ago when i started transitioning i didnt have a detailed model of transmisogyny, but now i cant not have one". alyssa vance could have one too (and know things like elle is the kind of person who exploits transmisogyny whenever she gets a chance) if she werent busy using her adult intelligence to defeat itself for miri/cfar.
what elle benjamin did was transmisogynistic and i can arbitrage actually being aligned with justice by taking a stack of screenshots of all the things she said and showing them to transfems uninvolved with the ambient miri/cfar gaslighting. and theyll be like "yup, thats transmisogyny". and other transfems can be like "yup, elle was also transmisogynist to me."
rationalists like alyssa vance and ozy brennan currently have an incentive to imply people who accurately identify transmisogyny are crazy. to go along with the status quo. (if i had to guess: ozy to protect an environment where they can provide for their baby, alyssa because she routed her hopes for personal immortality through miri/cfar.) though its not like i expect /alyssa vance/ to start calling transfems “gross uncle style abusers" like patrick lavictiore did or start listing off their "manly" physical characteristics contra anna salamon being a small feeble cisfem like peter did. not because alyssa vance is a particularly good person, shes not. but because thats paying in to a coordination technique that could be used against /her/. she doesnt expect social reality to label her "psychotic" anytime soon so she pays into that instead. ozy does and didnt call me "psychotic". this optimization is dumb, myopic, and doesnt serve their own values. but all evil is like that.
i dont hold by "use words for their expected value over a community" like scott alexander does. this is nice because i can align what i say with my internal cluster structure of anticipations of reality and escalate arbitrarily far without things breaking. elle benjamin cant escalate very far until her claim of ziz being a "misogynist" shatters, because its not exploiting the cluster structure of thing-space.
anyway GG on this front. the territory of "elle benjamin isnt transmisogynistic, somni is hallucinating transmisogyny" isnt worth enough for the miri/cfar campaign to expend energy on; elle benjamin isnt an important piece to miri/cfar like anna salamon is; and alyssa vance isnt in an environment with a bunch of warm bodies she can coordinate on a falsehood with. so afaict this region is ceded.
one technique of fem v fem cyberontological combat when you are right is arbitrage. when people gather a bunch of warm bodies together to gaslight you that elle benjamin isnt doing transmisogyny or whatever. instead of submitting to a series of increasingly arcane requirements until your writing looks like the inside of /principia mathematica/ and then have people complain about you writing long technical paragraphs saying they dont understand them dont care to understand them and you must be crazy;
just take a comprehensive recording of them all choosing to be dumb in a given direction and show it to people who dont have a political commitment to be dumb in that direction (which, when you are right, is often most people outside of the gaslighting bubble) and explain why its wrong. there are a lot of overlapping social spheres and you can iteratively arbitrage between them exploiting the fact that the methods of rationality and justice are more universal than specific false coordination points. in go terms, the spirit of this strategy is tenuki.
--
alyssa vance also says anna salamon isnt transmisogynistic, tried claiming ziz whistleblowing on miri/cfar paying out to blackmail was blackmail, and defends paying out to oneshot blackmail with subjunctive dependence for cdt reasons.
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bluesfm · 5 years ago
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(  park  chaeyoung  ,  twenty two  ,  &  cisfemale  )  who  ?  these  days  ,  it’s  all  about    blue hyong,  who  comes  from    los  angeles  &  ca    and  is  making  headlines  as  a    singer    .    she   currently  has  a  fan  count  of  42k    ,  no  thanks  to  the  rumors  of  them  being  inflexible  !  but  ,  on  the  other  hand  ,  their  most  devout  fans  say  they’re  actually    imaginative    .  last  i  heard  ,  they  caused  quite  a  buzz  when    she   publicly   dissed    her  new   record    label  and   the   misogynistic  treatment   she  was   receiving   from   their  reps  !  it’s  no  wonder  they  remind  me  of    long   rants   in  the  notes  app   being  posted   to  her   twitter  account  ,  empty  bottles   of  wine  laying  at   recording   studios’   floors   &  notebooks   upon  notebooks   filled  with   lyrics   she  might   never  use   but   refuses   to   let   go  of   .  
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well hello human friends !! n also hello to the non human friends too , wassup . i’m angie a  dumb  noodle  from  the  middle  of  the  south  american  jungle  , and i’m here to introduce yall to this mess i call blue  who’s  a muse i have had  for yrs now n carry w/ me wherever i go , with some minimal changes but she’s still the  same  messy  bitch  on the  inside  don’t  worry  folks !  so   i  will   provide  u w/  some  background  info  on   her  n  some   possible connections  under   the  cut . issa  lil messy  but  we’ve   been  away  for  a while   pls  bear  w me
blue  is  the  only  daughter  to  a  couple   of  south  korean  immigrants  that  came  to   america  when  they  were  in  their  very  early  20s  n  already  expecting  blue  in  order  to  chase  the  american  dream  n  create  a  better  life  for  themselves  n  their  family  .  their  life  was  pretty  hard  for  a  big  part  of  blue’s  childhood  ,  while  they  were  both  studying  n  working  odd  jobs  to  pay  for  their  education  all  the while  taking  care  of  a child .  so  blue  didnt  have  the  best  childhood  ,  not  that  her parents  were  bad  or  anything  they  just  didnt  have  time  for  her  . nowadays  ,  they  are  a  lot  more  comfortable  in  life  ,  since  her  dad  became  a  lawyer  n  her  mom  is  a  nurse  ,  but  they  definitely  didnt  have  an  easy  beginning  .
ok  so  maybe  bc  they  werent  present  durant  most  of  her  childhood  they  didnt  notice  a  lol  of  signs  that  might  have  made  things  a  lot  easier  for  them  ,  bc  by  the  time  they  were  available  to  emotionally  be  there  , during  her  early  teenage  years ,  blue  was  already  kinda  a  mess . she  had  grown  up  w  very  lil  structure  n  refused  the  rules  they  tried  to  instill  on  her  n  was  already  used  to  doing  things  her  own  way  .  that  lead  to  a  lot  of  conflict  between  them  ,  since  they  expected  her  to  study  hard  n  do  well  for  herself  in  a  nine to fiver  when  she  was  already  sure  art  was  the  only  way  to  go  n  while  she  did  ok  ,  she  definitely  wasn’t  as  good  as  her parents  expected  her  to  be .
so  ...  u  know   her  teenage  yrs  were  basic  girl  angsty  she  fought  a  lot  w  her  parents  n  rebelled  frequently  n  ran  away  from  home  like  ...  weekly  ,  but  she  never  rly  had  any  real  hardships  .  life  was  reasonably  good  but  she  always  had  something  to  complain  abt  ...  just  as  she  liked
[  MENTAL  ILLNESS  TW  ]
but  then  she  reached  her  late  teens    they  all  realized  there  was  something  going  on  other   than  the  usual  teenage  angst  she  displayed  all the time  when  she  had  her  first  manic  episode  .   her  parents  thought  it was  a  “  blue  thing  “  at  first  bc  she  was  usually  a  very  impulsive  person  n  she  rly  didn’t  have  a  habit  of  thinking  before  acting  on  her  impulses  ,   but  her  mom  quickly  noticed  the  signs  of  a  manic  episode  when  she  realized  how  aggitated  n   restless  she  was  , specially  when  blue  described  an   hallucination  she  seemed  to  be  having  .   they  took  her  to  a  psychiatrist  ,  she  was  admitted  to  a  hospital  n  diagnosed  w  type 1  bipolar  disorder  n  very  quickly  medicated .  while  the  medication  brought  her  out  of  her  episode  ,  n  she  was  allowed  to  go  home  after  her  mood  seemed  to stabilize  ,   blue  also  noticed  it  stunted  her  severely  emotionally  n  decided  (  against  medical  n  parental  advice  [  pls  dont  do  it  fam  !!  take  ur  meds  ]  )  to  quit  her  medication  ,  falling  into  her  first  major  depressive  episode  a  few  weeks  afterwards  . n  for  abt  four  years  she’s  been  living  w  her  disorder  ,  n  she  doesn’t  medicate  at  all  .  she’s  super  open  abt  her struggles  n  she  has  a  Lot  of  them  ,  specially  w  how  much  drugs  n  alcohol  she  consumes  .   i  never  said  she  was  smart  yall  .
[  END  OF  TW  ]
ok  so  as  u  probably  assume  ,   blue  is  an  emotional  mess  .  she  has  a   very  chaotic  personality  ,  n  most  of it  isnt  even  from  her  illness or  anything  she  just  is  a  very  chaotic  person  in  general  ?  she  is   one  of  those  artsy  ppl  who  forgets  to  wash  her  own  clothes  so  she  ends  up  wearing  the  same  dress for  like  ,  3 days .  she’s  super  outspoken  n  outgoing  n  rly easy  at  making  friends  if  u  can  get  past  the  dumbass energy  she  exudes 24/7  ?  but  yes  just  a  very  outgoing  person  n  a  outright  mess  most  of  the  time  .  she  is  also  soooo stubborn  u  will  never  get  her  to  change  her  mind  abt  smth  she  believes  to  be  right  about  in  any  way  .  u  just  cant  .  she  loves  a  good  time  n  loves  partying  n  is  the  lack  of  impulse  Queen  soo if  u  got  any  bad  ideas  she  is  the  one   u  should  go  for  if  u  need  any  company  .  also .... so dramatic  .  she  makes  a  big  deal  of  everything  n  has  0  apologies  abt  that  .  just  catch  her  crying  over  high  school  musical  3  or  smth  like  that  .
but  yea  on  the  bad  side  tho  ,  blue  takes  up  n  gives  up  on  projects  so  easily  n  she  can  be  super  fickle  abt  things  in  general  .  like  ,  she  will  defend  an  idea  for  7  hours  but  2  days  later  she’s  already  onto  smth  else  n  doesnt  even  remember  being  so  obsessive  abt  that  other  thing  ?  a  mess .  is  also  Quite  abrasive  ?  if  she  thinks  ur  acting  dumb  shes  not  gonna  be  scared  to  call u  out  on  it  .  can  also  have a  Reaally  explosive  temper  .  not  usually  but  specially  during  manic  episodes  she  can  be  quite  easy  to  annoy  ngl  .  is  very  unreliable  ,  especially  if ur not  too  close  ..  tbh  that  is  something  connected  to  her  disorder  .  when  she’s  on  a  manic  episode  ,  she  will be  too busy  planning  things  she  will  never  get  around  to  doing  or  painting  her  entire  house  or  spending  3  days  awake  n  drunk  writing  17  songs  by  herself  .  n  during  her  depression  is  very  hard  to  get  her  to  do  anything  n  even  if  she  feels  terrible  , she  rly  cant be  an  available  friend  .
in  regards  to  her  sexuality  ,  she’s  an  open  bisexual  and   also  is  a  crazy  romantic  n  falls  so  hard  for  literally  no  reason .  but  like  ...  doesnt  have  the  healthiest  mentality  for  relationships  ?  not  like  in  a  toxic  way  but  she  will usually  give  145%  of  herself  at  all times  n  honestly  believes  all  of  the  ppl  she  falls  for  are  the one (1)  just  wants  to  make  things  work  no  matter  what  .  she’s  v  impulsive  w/  meeting  n  falling  for  ppl  tho  so  things  dont  rly  end  up  working  n  she  always  ends  up  heartbroken  over it  .  Well  .  At least she’s  trying  right  ?
in regards  to  her  career  n  art  , she’s  posted  youtube  covers  n  original  songs  for  a  couple  years  and  gathered a  decent  following  ?  she  wasnt  huge  or  anything  but  she  did  get  a  record  deal  w  an  actual  big  label  out  of  it  a  few  months  ago  .  blue  was  pretty  happy  abt  it  but  then  when  the  recording  process  started  she  realized  they  werent  treating  her  as she  thought  she  deserved  at  all  ?  which  resulted  on her  taking  her  thoughts  to  some  reps  of  the  label  n  when  she  didn’t  feel  any  difference  in  the  way  she  was  being  treated  she  took  it  to  the public  ?  which  definitely  caused  quite a  sitr  bc  she  wasn’t  a  huge  name  but  she  was  big  enough  ?  so  now  she’s  in  some  considerable  trouble  w  her  label  but  Also  more  famous  than  ever  so  they  are  choosing  not  to  bury  her  for  now  ?  she’s  in  some  definite  trouble  though  so  it’ll  be  fun  to  see  what  happens  next  n  what  her  moves  will be  ?  spoiler  alert :  it’ll prob  be  smth  dumb.
i  still have  so  much  to  say  but  i’m  so lazy  wow .  dont  start  ur  intros  so  close  to opening  time  folks  thats  my  tip  as  an  old  internet  auntie  .  OK SO  ONTO  SOME  CONNECTIONS  NOW  
some label  mates  who  she  may  or  may  not  get  along  with  ?
hookups !!  she  prob  has  a  few  she  regrets  too   bc  who  doesnt  am i  right
best  friends !!  ppl  who  actually  support  her  n  she  loves  w  no restrictions  just  love  all  around  friends
exes </3  not  gonna  lie  i  have  some  sad  ideas  abt  this  one
good  influence  bc  blue  is  a  mess she  needs  one  of  those  pls  someone  slap  her  head  n  make  her  drink  some  water
a  fling  she  has  feelings  for  but  may  not  be  requited  ...  i  like  my  romantic  connections  to  be  angsty  did yall  notice
artistic  soulmate  !!  someone  her  artistic  bitch  side  just  vibes  with  ?  could  be  a  songwriter  or  singer or  anything  tbh
some   indecisive  romantic   shit where blue rly  knows  sh’s  too messy  n  this  person  is too amazing ?  but  they still  have  feels  so   ... now  what ?
this is  p  mcuh  it ??  it  has  taken so long  to  finish  this  i  hate  myself  but  HEY  if  u  like  blue  or  dislike  her  u  should  hit  me  up  so  we  can  come  up  w  some  plot  ideas  ?  i wish  i  had  a  quirky  goodbye  idea  but  my  brain  has  just  quit  working  guys  so  u  get  nothing  from  me  other than  a  good  old  fashioned goodbye  thanks  for ur  attention  i  love u
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bedlamgames · 5 years ago
Text
Q&A #100
Yes, been a hundred of this things. Totally a meaningless milestone which is one of my oldest tags on here (assuming any are left after the purge...) still I thought I’d do something for it. 
Specifically I’ve gone back over the old Q&A’s and found some favourite questions and answers which I’ll be including in this after the usual round of outstanding ones. Possibly also with some extra commentary where appropriate. 
Anonymous said: Hey. Any pair of characters connected by an Owned relationship/reputation seems to crash the game if you use either one of them on an assignment. Any chance of this being fixed?
- That should be sorted in yesterday’s update. 
Anonymous said: Got a Forest Goblin with both Dancer and Clumsy. This seems like a very strange combination, but imagining it kind of makes me want to laugh my head off.
- Agreed I think that just works due to being amusing. Less poetry in motion and more of a limerick. 
Anonymous said: In No Haven 0.871 the trait " Elementalist: Air " does not appear when using the estimate value function.
- Cheers for pointing out that oversight. Will sort.
Anonymous said: Hi sory english isn't my native langage, In No Have 0.871 TF Edition I have aquired a slaver But with a bug first i don't know how i acquire her and two she had noting , no name no perk jus a little description i will copy the full examine optin on it : - - - - ExamineName: Race: - Sex: - Status: - Reputation: Traits: Condition: 0 Will: 0 Estimated Value: 0 has a flat chest, a regular pussy, and has an unremarkable ass. She is the same size as most goblins, and .She is . 
- That looks like an empty character in all respects. I believe there was an issue with Ritual Casting where that could happen and is now sorted. If you see it happen again please let me know what you were doing when they appeared. 
Anonymous said: Hey Bedlam, watched stream where you discussed not selling slaves debuff, thing is i always imagined slavers being in this business for fun and pleasure first, and gold second. I mean why else would they agree to live in some Skyrim style, long abandoned really, hard to get to fort in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by hills and marshes(at least that how i imagine it)? So maybe you could make something like,"no new slaves, or slave training for X days, getting bored" or something like that?
- It wouldn’t be too harsh at all. Just a bit of a poke to encourage that you’re business model is based around being a slaver over the leader disappearing to the coast for a week and returning with suspiciously large amounts of gold. In that case you’ve got to think that your slavers might feel that they’re surplus to requirements :D
Anonymous said: I hope you're happy for taking so many hours of my life away from me lol. But playing this again; got a question about NH. Any plans on making some rival groups that we can interact with? Diplomacy, getting tribute, ect. It would be kinda cool to have rivals that push you along 
Glad you’re enjoying it! 
Likely yes. There’s ways currently now to set up a few ways to get tribute every so often. More groups though who are more hostile than the not-witches in the marshlands or the mistress of the Ensnared Rose are sure to be a thing sooner or later. 
doof-ex-machina said: Have you read the Gorean saga by John Nornan? If yes, did it influence your vision of the No Haven world? Gor explores a legal female-oriented slave system, yheah, but there are pretty close similarities with NH in regards to the numbers of ‘fodder’ and the ways of training. Anyway, me personally thinks your world is even better because magic and draenei/succubi boobs, duh.
I haven’t but I am aware of them in general. 
NH is a lot more equal opportunities than Gor where males doing it to females, females doing it to males, and all possible variations of that including others like futanari and sissies are likely to happen. Still high praise indeed, thanks!
And now onto some old questions starting with one from before where I realised beginning to combine these might be a good idea. 
onedrift from 2015:  Trying this again...what's your coder fuel of choice? Red bull, Monster, coffee? None of the above? Soon to be bimbofied slavemakers want to know!
- Heh, totally giving my nationality away (if it wasn’t blatantly obvious already) but the fuel of choice is copious amounts of Earl Grey tea.
Anonymous from 2015: Hiya, been a fan of your work for a long time, captions and games thanks for making them, but a question regarding whorelocks revenge, is it possible to get the tangle infection and bonds of insanity? in all my time playing them I never had either I dont think.
- Not in the current version. Basically I wasn’t happy with the implementation in terms of how they were removed so I disabled them for a bit till I can sort it out… which unfortunately has lasted quite some time.
Soon as I got this No Haven update done they’re top of my list of things to sort in Whorelocks.
(Oh zogging hell. Still not done that yet... Extenuating circumstance for sure with NH taking off and WR was still in RAGS at that point, but even so)
Anonymous from 2015: This is probably a poor place to respond to your open-ended poll question, but have you looked into Twine?
- I’ve looked at Twine and when I one day get round to Rough Landing 3 it’s definitely going to be done using it, but to me it looks like an incredibly poor fit for working on No Haven.
(Oh past me why would say such a thing even if it did make a lot of sense at the time. Let’s hope that guy was wrong)
Anonymous from Q&A #1: Title image is hype, cant wait for next update. recall you mentioned that you had enchantments planed for the update after next (or something there abouts) how far ahead have you planned ahead and any spoilers for the update after this one? :D
- Why thank you! I have several pages bullet pointed of what I have planned along with what I have in my head. For stuff not in the next update I’d say not counting more slave training assignments and options and more assignments in the other areas the big bits of content outstanding are;
Way more potions. (Still do do)
Enchantment/cursing of items system.  (Also still do do)
Crafting Devices. (Also, also still do do)
Ways to manage encampments when they get to large by sending slavers/slaves to new areas to provide ongoing gold/supplies along with the occasional assignment. (Oh dear, also, also still do do)
More stuff for you like going on every assignment, bad ends for some of them, more interactions, being enslaved and so on. Basically lots more sub and also some dom content for when you’re not managing the encampment. (Woo progress made! Bad ends for some assignments going on are indeed a thing. Still work to do as I do want to give Crossbones and Into the Depths the QAYL treatment sometime)
Special events that will occur every so often that will affect things be it for good and bad. This will include a way to get a lost slaver back though perhaps forever altered by their experiences. (Woo again this is done. Definitely could do with more done with)
Encampment reputation to reflect a slaver’s standing with how the other slaver’s see them. This will includes slavers becoming slaves and visa versa. (On a roll now as a great deal of this implemented)
More biomancy options and improving thanks to a multi-part assignment. There will also be other multi-part story based assignments. (Partially done and the biomancy multi-part assignment has been started)
And a bunch more basically but those are the priorities after this next update. Probably not all in the same update though.
Anonymous from Q&A #6: I would play the hell out of Paranoia set in No Haven.  
- Temptation to give slavers and you conflicting secret societies and agendas rising.
Y’know like…
Dire Panthers: A mottley band of young savage orcs, amazons and trolls out to raise hell by breaking stuff, setting stuff on fire and generally being a nuisance to everyone.
The Cooperative: A dedicated group of Frozen Queen cultists out to oppose the Human Empire by working together to make things better for the common people… till you know the Queen awakens and buries all the land in eternal ice.
Mage Smashers: Magic iz like wrong an’ stuff! We smash dem in dere stupid face till dey not so smart.
Fellowship-Fel: The denizens that lurk beyond our reality and infect our dreams with tainted nightmares are our friends! We must expose ourselves to as much corruption as possible to make ourselves like them. We see no flaws in this plan whatsoever, you see the chorus of whispers in our minds entirely agrees with us.
Psion: No changes need to be made whatsoever from the original version.
Trekksters: …and I think that’s enough of that, or further evidence of why I shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near RAGS or indeed tumblr when I have my old sourcebooks nearby :D
(Also apologies to most of you who have no idea what that was about!) (This is still far too much of a good idea)
Anonymous from Q&A #17: 2/2 and another hilarious one: Your succubus slave Jaeil was not looking so hot right now so Virholen just held her close and told Jaeil that everything would be alright. Jaeil was oddly quiet everytime you looked in on them and you wonder if they have resigned themselves to their fate. Condition: 45 (Change: 20) - Will: 47 (Change: 15)
After their mistreatment Jaeil sees no reason not to only care for them self as clearly no one else will leaving them hardened and even outright cruel. usc++
- You win best bug report in ages, that is beautiful :D
Anonymous from Q&A #37: Will there be other spirit races in the game besides wisps, such as undynes, gnomes, and dryads? And finally Im new to patreon. I decided to pay for the your character teir but ask for a unique because I dont really understand it. Is the “play your character” a scenario or what? And where do I go to talk with you on what I would like for it?
- True story, I had to google undyines and for ages I couldn’t work out what you were referring too as so many of the results were of that character from Undertale :D
Undines themselves would be no, but I do have a water spirit of a kind planned. (Still do!) Gnomes no, as I’m happy with Hakh Dwarven and the various Goblins as my short races. Dryads absolutely yes, and will be one of the advanced races. See the last Q&A for more details of those.
Thank you for your support! Those options are for those that want to play a specific character that isn’t available in the standard options or design a specific slaver that you can have in your encampment. If you want to see some examples of ones others have asked for before on the playable character front then Orc Wright Raptor, Lago’Mae Scholar or Goblin Underground Potioneer would be a good ones to look at to start off with.
As for the unique slavers then pretty much any of the slavers available under Strong Right Arm/Recruiter.
How much detail you want to go into is up to you. If you want to say oh I just want a Kitsune lady who likes to pole-dance then I’d put something together for your approval, or you can go full on detailing everything about them from their art, description, traits etc. and I’ll work with you to the point I’m happy having it as an option in the game. (Note: If you want an entirely new race like the Golems you need to go for the lore tier given the significantly larger amount of work involved)
For discussing please send me a message on patreon and we can take it further from there.
One thing to bare in mind is that patreon only charges at the end of the month, and so while I’m more than willing to talk it out, if you want to me to do a lot of work on your request I’m going to need to see a pledge go through first. It sucks I know, but this is the unfortunate reality of the internet that alas trust can only go so for.
I’m always happy to discuss things though, I really am, and some people have asked to pay some of their pledge upfront via paypal to get round this which is not a problem if that’s what you want to do.
valhallaimmortan from Q&A #47: I managed to get a elven smith who makes fancy armor that is usually masterwork quality, and equipped my ‘Basher’ Squad with it, the Basher’s are all Ogre’s who I recruited and I have a alchemist who seriously creeps me out with how many petrification potions he has been pumping out. I also like the Lago'mae Scholar how now the Lizard man is using her as his new project… poor Scholar… and I got to ask is it actually possible to recruit a keldan from the keldan mission in the city?
- I love this question, absolutely adore it, and you made the patron who requested the lizardman unique really happy when I mentioned it to them. If people want to send in their favourite/amusing/interesting slavers/slaves that have resulted from generation and gameplay I might do a tumblr post series on them called ‘Tell me about your Character’.
As to the question yes she should be on the critical result.
Anonymous from Q&A #61: Silly question. For clothing and armor, what in your mind is the major difference between micro, and impractical? I can’t really visualize a difference between the two when reading armor/clothing descriptions. Scandalously short is divergent enough that it creates its own image for me. The other two seem as if they would be interchangeable, but they aren’t since there is a distinction so what is it?
- Yay silly questions are always the best questions. Okay micro is where you have outfits that are recognizable bits of clothing but it’s incredibly brief so a skirt that’s more a belt than actually trying to cover anything whatsoever and/or a bikini top so teeny-weeny that it doesn’t even cover all of the nipples. Completely impractical though is the kind of clothing beloved by a certain kind of fantasy art which just doesn’t make any kind of sense whatsoever where looking good trumps any pretension of realism, and the only way it could stay on is either with copious amounts of glue or magic being involved.
Anonymous from Q&A #66: Hello again! I’m the guy who asked about the post-slave [slaver] titles. I’m going to very respectfully push the idea that ex-slaves should get unique titles. First, I honestly think having the unique titles is cooler. It’s more interesting to send a Chosen, an Acolyte, and a Hedge-Witch on an assignment than it is to send three Slavers. It’s a rarity thing, sort of? If you get a character who qualifies for one of those things, it’s a BIG DEAL. Secondly, it already changes with jobs, so…
- Alright, alright, you’ve twisted my arm :)
That should now be included for the most recent update along with a couple of new titles so that all of the more rare traits (not counting crafting ones) should have one. Let me know if there’s any issues as while it was a fairly straightforward change I didn’t get a chance to test that particular bit.
Thanks for reading and here’s to another hundred of these. 
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carl95896-blog · 5 years ago
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An e mail deal with is necessary but will not be incorporated with the comment.)|The Section of Labor would not endorse, takes no responsibility for, and workouts no Handle in excess of the joined Business or its views, or contents, nor does it vouch with the precision or accessibility of the knowledge contained around the vacation spot server.|The owner can prefer to Get well person items or your complete contents in the container at the same time by deciding upon and dragging the objects from your Asset Safety wrap in the hangar or cargo hold.} Invest in Test??menu button. You may have just one (one) year from your approval of the application to acquire and sit for assessment, and could sit with the Test Anytime following a 6 (six) 7 days waiting around period of time from the final Test endeavor.|Select a financial institution Risk-free more than a home Secure. Whilst home safes can be had for as minor as $ninety nine, theyre less difficult for burglars to crack. Most residence safes bodyweight fewer than 100 lbs, so its not that tough for thieves to walk off with all your Harmless ??plus your valuables.|Regardless of the variances in the expense-estimate styles, Kolosh pressured which the Expense financial savings from safety are actual. ?Safetys not just a good matter to do,??he mentioned. ??It has|It's|It's got} many financial relevance also.??You can not put a value tag on preserving the overall health and safety of you, All your family members and your pets. Many of the threats to your own home's safety usually are not visible and you should seek the services of knowledgeable to come in and test your property for matters like asbestos, water and air good quality, mold, direct and various toxins.|But specialists say the personal savings exist, and ??armed with the ideal figures on The prices of injuries ??safety pros need to be able to efficiently argue that investments in safety will cause cost savings down the road.|When you've got a copy of anything significant (like your will or insurance policies papers) in a safe deposit box, your relations should be able to retrieve Those people objects should you, personally, can not.|Kijiji is your Close friend. Not sure about London precisely, but in the GTA there are lots of shops who can do same working day Safety and one-2hr Work opportunities.|The cost to deliver your vehicle nearly emission & safety specifications may be during the hundreds according to what your vehicle wants. Brakes, shocks, catalytic converter just to call a couple of illustrations.|Dont have faith in anyone who suggests that a safety system will not be cost-effective. Especially in scaled-down organizations.|Ships which have been boarded by a capsuleer won't be moved into asset safety. They will be undocked or be in Area over the pilots following log in after the framework has been decommissioned or wrecked.|If you purchase an uncertified bike and afterwards deliver it in for saftey to change possession, it could grow to be really pricey.|The more upfront and complete you will be with the small print necessary for your shift, the smoother your shipping will go. Moreover, you are going to avoid any surprises with additional service fees occur delivery day.|Look at providing the originals to your lawyer, and making copies to go with your safe deposit box or to offer an in depth friend or relative.  Supply|Affected individual safety also contains endeavours to reduce well being care-affiliated bacterial infections that end result from therapy inside of a hospital or other professional medical treatment environment. The goal of affected individual safety initiatives is to lessen soreness, suffering and deaths associated with preventable, unintended hurt to a individual.|You should Note: Rear See Safety reserves the best to change/modify the problems of our coverage in almost any way at any given time.|A far more exact calculation of safety charges could be reached which has a cost product depending on how the Group basically operates, making use of serious-time Price estimates. This process is dealt with in more depth underneath.|As recognition for BCSP credentials grow among the employers, federal government organizations, peers, and the general public; those holding just one have a competitive edge for safety positions and assignments.|Supply the next documentation into the license and permit expert: Software substitute, and} Safety Manner lets you keep utilizing knowledge at minimized speeds just after your details allowance is utilized up for your month. You'll be able to remain on the web with no stressing about overage expenses. Value accuracy. This really is connected to the dependability of the actual number??a combination of the supply of the info and who really supplies it.|A significant variable is acquiring satisfied benchmarks recognized by peers for professional safety exercise. It signifies that you have risen earlier mentioned the competition simply because you have already been evaluated by professional friends towards Those people expectations.|When swimming inside the ocean, be conscious of riptides. If you need to do get stuck in the riptide, Do not swim versus The present; instead, swim parallel into the shore.|The fee to move or supply your Protected is a brilliant expenditure for the safety and for shielding your Protected and residential. The pricing supplied on this page is just a mean. You must contact your neighborhood Liberty Secure seller for final pricing.|Consequently, gathering fantastic info during the early implementation phases turns into a Consider continuing to show worth over time. You will discover many various strategies to find out a company's price of safety. What follows is 1 fundamental method.|You'd probably must pay them possibly a labor fee, or expense of A different safety, yes. Simply because they'll need to examine the car to more info make sure the part was changed, and that It is really safe. If it have been one thing like a bulb, tire, etc. in which they will visually see it than no.|Simply just enter your issue and availability, and TalkLocal will do the rest. Within minutes, you have to be within the cellular phone with a professional corporation who is prepared to assist you out.|Some providers nevertheless Slice back on safety mainly because its deemed much too pricey. New PPE may not be while in the budget, or there may be an excessive amount of going on at do the job to prevent output and squeeze in safety instruction.|While safety deposit bins are resistant??to fireside, flood, heat, earthquakes, hurricanes, explosions and various disastrous situations, there is absolutely no promise that the products will never get destroyed.  Its smart to set your valuables inside a water-resistant container right before putting them in the Protected deposit box for included protection.|Suspect information and facts/unsure summary. During this class you suspect that the knowledge is not really superior, but can't be particular that it's bad.|Some indirect prices will be the identical it doesn't matter your enterprise, Some others will be a lot more marketplace precise. By way of example:|The proprietor with the box and the financial institution agent need to be current once the safety deposit box is becoming drilled. Bear in mind, the expense of drilling and changing the lock/keys is all on you.|You could search online for the particular regulations, I provide the hyperlink at your house but am on my iPad at the moment. For anyone who is alittle mechanically inclined, you are able to do your own personal inspection that could signify excess of the bit of paper.|On top of that, when something comes about to your member of your family, or if It truly is just a improve in age that causes incapacity, and also you find yourself needing to retrofit your property to accommodate for the new dwelling circumstance, remodeling will permit the disabled individual in your home to truly feel far more empowered and unbiased.|To aid our function, and continue to be a no cost website, we receive a Fee from a few of the backlinks we share.|The OHST is sponsored with the Board of Accredited Safety Gurus, and provides a great mixture complex credential. This certification won't require a school degree. The needed 200 problem test is Similarly divided in between safety and wellness.|Whenever you offer your info, we will under no circumstances give or market that data to any outdoors organization or personal for its use in solicitation. We'll preserve the confidentiality within your information and facts though applying it to aid your romance with Rear Watch Safety Inc.} A nationwide safety Corporation that championed required seat belt rules is now calling on governors and legislators in all fifty states to ban cell phone use while driving. of lawyer??(your published authorization for one more individual to transact organization on the behalf), passports (in case of an emergency journey), health care-treatment directives should you turn out to be sick and incapacitated, and funeral or burial instructions you make.|Although the process was regarded as a tripping hazard, the corporate believed elevating the conveyor off the ground could well be also highly-priced. Even so, immediately after an worker tripped above the conveyor and broke a hip, the corporate realized the procedure had to be raised.|jukon stated: I'd personally avoid "as is" bikes. When the person can't care more than enough to get a piece of paper in your case he most likely can not treatment more than enough to just take great treatment of your bicycle. Simply click to increase...|I have bought my previous two cars and trucks and two bikes unsafetied and use that to my advantage when bargaining, considering the fact that most sellers would rather not cope with the hassle of having it safetied|The CSP Exam is the second-degree examination expected in The 2 check system. This five and one particular-50 % hour Computer system delivered examination is made up of two hundred concerns that analyze the prospect's applied information and the applying of experience obtained as a result of Experienced practice. The two the ASP as well as the CSP are administered through the BCSP.|CCOHS describes that even tiny organizations with an excellent safety background can slide prey to unexpected costs that ironically stem from endeavors to save money.|With minimal complication premiums being more and more identified as a significant evaluate of fine clinic efficiency, initiatives to reduce complication prices are being pursued Along with the expectation of serving to clients and minimizing payers??reimbursement bills along with companies??expenses. Published in Overall health Affairs, October 2012. See: |During all the years I've been dealing with Rear Watch Safety, they've by no means let me down. I have experienced them ship a multitude of components to different addresses all over the nation and so they virtually have 100% achievements rate with my company. Their customer care is usually pleasurable to speak with, there is constantly somebody there swiftly (no extended keep instances), and they're seriously experienced about the merchandise as well!|If you might want to get a substitution with out switching any information on the entrance of the card, it's possible you'll use the net Card Replacement attribute, provided you might have the following data:} When staff members aren’t snug at do the job, they’re extra likely to move on to a brand new occupation. This results in a company that is less aggressive because the greatest employees won’t want to work there.-in??from management to the safety perform, so that it will become a Section of the culture of a corporation.|It was once within the $eighty variety but seems like the more recent, much more thorough requirements have amplified The prices somewhat. Commonly, brake work would be the #one expense I feel. normally new pads or some rotor grinding. If it is a properly held automobile, there actually shouldn't be something extra.|This really is something that has happened persistently at Schneider Electric powered, Widdow son explained ??a approach or modify is authorized with safety improvement remaining the justification, and unexpected Positive aspects to organization coming later on.} You can go elsewhere to obtain the operate finished, but as the wheel must be eradicated for the ball joint to be replaced, the Inspecting Shop will cost you an hourly fee to examine and confirm which the do the job was done. to present, 1 location to a different, a person team to a different? that drives conduct in a company. What will get rewarded gets recurring, And just how an motion is calculated and as opposed gets a foundation for habits modification. So, the mere motion of measuring costs will drive enhancement in those expenses. And which will come to be the most important offering point of all.|Is the fact a lot of of the price to inquire? Or can it be a crimson flag that there is likely to be anything seriously Erroneous With all the bicycle?|Whilst The prices of a safety program aren’t carved in stone, many of them are fairly very easy to quantify. For instance, you almost certainly know the cost of PPE employed by your employees. But some expenditures aren’t easy.|You put your hard earned money in a very financial institution.  You place your meals inside of a fridge.  You place your clothes in a very closet.|Obviously, monitoring safety prices might be a complicated and time (and energy) consuming procedure. The more you are doing, the more you are able to do. All of it depends on The key reason why for collecting the information in the first place and what you intend to utilize it for. So, coming entire circle, we arrive Yet again for the aim. If you are only seeking to get some perception of wherever, inside of get of magnitude, your fees are, then you can use many of the fundamental ??rules|guidelines|principles|policies|regulations|procedures} of thumb??and get there at a tough estimate of prices.|The next NCSL Difficulty short was distributed to condition legislators and legislative staff across the nation.} Safety and the tiny organization A environment of distinction?? For Females in safety, a mentor can present guidance and open doors Staff and diploids: A snapshot Again to well being: How to proceed about very low again discomfort these two principle prices factors separate assists companies observe how they change with time and really helps to present how investments in safety can in fact minimize the expense of non-safety.??the 200 problem 4 hour Test measures a persons understanding of the speculation and apply of primary adult education and learning and confirms understanding and practical experience within the SH&E specialty place(s) in which they train.|of charges, not true prices. A significantly less theoretical solution draws on the present cost accounting construction of your Business. In spite of everything, cost details is currently staying accumulated to price possible jobs and Invoice for do the job in place.|Asbestos may be in paint, vinyl ground tiles, steam pipes and furnaces. Asbestos gurus can perform residence inspections, acquire samples of material, assess its affliction, and advise about what corrections are necessary and that's qualified to generate these corrections. Try to remember, materials in fantastic condition isn't going to should be removed Except if it'll be disturbed. If removal is warranted, be ready as sometimes, you may have to relocate while this is getting carried out. Fees for these products and services may vary tremendously|The believed once-a-year cost of further clinical and short-term disability bills affiliated with healthcare problems is $19.five billion. For a longer period hospital stays and the cost of dealing with professional medical error-relevant accidents and problems are The 2 significant expenses associated with health-related faults.} 토토 솔루션 tricky??versus ??soft|gentle|delicate|comfortable|smooth|tender}??expenses, direct compared to oblique, identified vs . unrecognized, and the like. Thus, the level of detail can range between quite simple to pretty complex, according to your objective. Hence, it is not difficult to discover how The prices of safety will vary so noticeably from one enterprise to another.} Prompt data is instantaneously obsolete. Only by far the most banal ideas can properly cross wonderful distances in the velocity of light. And something that travels pretty significantly extremely speedy is scarcely value transporting, Particularly the vacationer.??- Ted Simon, Jupiter's Travels|Also is it crucial to convey to mechanic (for Value factors) this is for automobile registration (obtaining license plates, and many others) as opposed to an inspection to help while in the purchasing/advertising of a vehicle?|Only you know whats within your Secure deposit box ??not the lender, not your family, not anyone that you choose to don’t personally explain to on your own.  The associated fee for any safety deposit box varies dependant upon dimensions.  Rental charges are billed yearly.|  Industry experts say its smart to possess a specified energy of lawyer to handle your economical affairs ??which include usage of your box ??in the event you are struggling to since you are disabled or touring, among the other causes.  Should you have a power of lawyer, moving into your safe-deposit box gained to be a challenge.  Source|That is an embedded ingredient within the technique, positioning limits on all another features. Reliability is actually a evaluate of your trustworthiness of the information. The dependability of knowledge is usually put into 1 of four classifications:|It takes advantage of a company's income margin, the normal costs of an injuries or ailment, and an indirect Price multiplier to task the level of sales a company would wish to generate to go over People prices.|I've observed the price of the bicycle which has a safety inspection and certificate is generally priced at about $250-300 in excess of the "as is" rate. I'm probably not guaranteed what the typical price of this safety is.|The motive force license office personnel will ascertain if it is necessary to concern a completely new quantity when reviewing your case.|Individual Asset Safety is induced when an Up well Framework is ruined, un anchored, or even the participant manually activates it. At the time asset safety has been induced, an entry will look within the players "Asset" window underneath a tab referred to as "Safety".|safety Pays OSHA. Interactive program that assists employers in evaluating the impression of occupational accidents and health problems on their own profitability.|An administrative law judge Using the Occupational Safety and Wellness Overview Fee has upheld fines from an Ohio corporation. An inspection disclosed several staff members experienced signs or symptoms of the likely lethal respiratory sickness after sweeping up pigeon droppings.|Spool up time is the lag. Who put the lag inside a lag? Who put the bomp within the bomp bah bomp bah bomp? Who put the ram inside the rama lama ding dong? Click on to expand...|"I don't know" or IDK. With this classification, you would not have enough knowledge of the source to make a determination about the reliability of the information.} people today??side of things ??invest in safety so workers do not get harm, as an example.|Liberty Safe endorses that you've knowledgeable and skilled team of movers transfer your current Safe and sound or provide shipping and delivery of your respective new Harmless to your own home.|The more you are aware of at the programs outset, the more you’ll be capable to evaluate success and value in the months, months, and many years to return.|Sure This is often for a single ball joint. While using the safety it will' be cost me $450 whole at this particular explanation.|The research concluded that enforcement functions had been connected to a substantial fall in statements incidence fees and costs Which related results may additionally be attributable to Consultation visits. See Summary.|I am some a yard mechanic In terms of my motor vehicle but bikes are entirely new and overseas to me.|Is the fact that an excessive amount of the selling price to talk to? Or could it be a red flag that there could possibly be some thing very seriously Improper With all the bicycle? Click on to extend...|The Division of Labor won't endorse, requires no accountability for, and exercises no Regulate about the linked Group or its views, or contents, nor does it vouch to the precision or accessibility of the data contained around the desired destination server.|You'll find so termed "get it done by yourself" kits, but you might want to closely take into account their use. Whilst These are cheaper than using the services of an expert, they may or may not Provide you with all the necessary effects at an accurate stage. Rate ranges for an expert range enormously - dependant upon the dimension of your property and what exams you would like done. Don't forget, Additionally you could really need to shell out some dollars to fix the problems uncovered.  Carry on Looking through|Client safety refers to rules, tactics and systems to stop individual hurt or injury, such as attempts to forestall professional medical mistakes. These problems, often called adverse situations, are occurrences of unintended harm from healthcare care. The leading types of medical errors are therapy problems, failure to complete indicated checks, and avoidable delays in treatment.|We make this recommendation to your safety and to avoid harm to your Harmless and residential. The prices for the fire rated residence safes and vaults available for sale on our Web page never involve delivery. They may be for pickup in a supplier only.|The existence of direct-based paint in a home doesn't always indicate You will find a guide-centered paint hazard to occupants. To verify, you may want a different screening approach - either a risk evaluation or hazard screen. Either way, a specialist process is necessary and may be necessary if you decide to eliminate the toxic lead discovered in your home. The typical price of poisonous guide abatement ranges from $5 to $20 per square foot - based on the region during which you live. The fee is much more if you need the direct removed from the outside of your house since there will have to be protective screening expected.|These figures, Whilst superior, are more likely to be decreased than the actual cost of a single death because both models replicate only immediate prices. Immediate expenditures include things like staff??payment, health care charges, civil liability or litigation costs, and property losses.|If, in its place, the Corporation thinks in the value of safety as a value driver and sees it being a vital factor for escalating profitability, then a more precise process??such as|like|including|for example|for instance|which include} explained in the following paragraphs??must be|should be|has to be|have to be|need to be|needs to be} crafted.|For safety, administration have to quantify bucks used to circumvent accidents and Examine it to the quantity of profit or savings generated by this kind of exercise. In the following paragraphs, we will handle the fee element of your equation.}}
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wnq-psychology · 7 years ago
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How To Build Your Self Esteem
step away from the affirmations
“To be healthy, functioning individuals, we need to feel good about ourselves. To feel good about ourselves, we need to feel that our time and energy is spent meaningfully. Meaning is the fuel of our minds. When you run out of it, everything else stops working.”
Most of us struggle with self esteem. Many of us are fortunate enough to realize this, and some of us care enough to try to fix it.
The problem, however, is with the majority of the resources available to us — especially online. I am pretty sure these articles are 100% written by people who have serious self esteem issues, regurgitated from everyone else who has self esteem issues, on down the cycle to readers with self esteem issues, who think it’s just their fault for not being able to apply them and successfully boost their self esteem.
But of course not. Because none of this is how self esteem works.
First, let’s talk about what self esteem ISN’T:
Self esteem is not selfishness or narcissism
Having to say this makes me impatient, because if people don’t innately “get it,” they fight it blindly, emotionally, tooth and nail. And I understand, because there are a lot of emotions on the line here (see: entire post) so I’m just going to tread lightly and quickly when I say:
Self love and self esteem are not selfishness.
On the contrary, selfish people have desperately low self esteem and self love, which is why they overcompensate, demand, and have nothing left to give others.
Self esteem is not a series of “dont’s”
Most self esteem articles cheerily suggest things like, “Don’t have the negative self talk. Don’t compare yourself to others. Don’t put yourself down. Don’t doubt yourself,” like “just don’t have low self-esteem!”
These aren’t solutions.
The brain struggles with the word “don’t,” and when you focus on the negative, you’re still focusing on the thing. The brain interprets the sentence as an imperative, like: “ah, okay, negative self talk. Got it!” The brain is baby Groot.
The way we talk to ourself is a reflection of self esteem, not the root. It’s effect, not cause. It helps, of course, but it’s not the core. And fixing the core will fix the way we think and talk about ourselves.
Nature abhors a vacuum. If you don’t have something positive at the ready, the old stuff will just rush back in.
Self esteem does not come from others
It’s not anyone’s job to make you feel good about yourself. It can only come from you.
Some articles suggest that readers should “learn to accept compliments” — several even went so far as to suggest that you approach others and “ask them what they like about you.”
Trying to build self esteem through “others’ compliments” is like trying to learn how to walk by being carried.
Only you control of your self-acceptance and self-love.
Self esteem is not in “self help”
This is just an extension of the above.
Self help reinforces perceptions of inferiority and shame. It plays on insecurities and fabricates solutions that don’t serve real needs. It encourages avoidance.
It’s like how MayoClinic convinces us we’re dying more than it actually, directly remedies health problems. Engaging will eventually make us absorb all these negatives. We are not more powerful than what we give attention.
Self help just replaces one external influence for another. We’re still grasping for some authority figure, some omnipotent voice, to tell us what to do.
This of course includes this very post. Which is ironic, but at least honest and warm-hearted, because I wrote this only after doing tons of similar reading myself, and I write hoping we all resolve this.
Self help will never help
When I was getting my business off the ground, in the 3 dark months of “white noise” after quitting my job but before getting my first customer, isolated and running mostly on “faith” alone, someone asked me, “what kind of music do you listen to during the day?” I told them, “on good days, upbeat music. On bad days, chill music. And I know it’s an ugly day when I resort to motivational videos on YouTube.”
Those videos got me nowhere — except maybe through the day.
You want to know what finally kicked my self esteem back into gear? When I started making sales. Once that happened, I never watched another motivational, “self-help” video.
Self esteem is not about “pampering”
My god, if we could all stop with the “indulgences” and “little day to day pleasures;” if only we could stop thinking “self love” is about “treating ourselves,” or “scheduling time every day for fun and relaxation.”
Heidi Priebe said it best,
“Real self-love isn’t about ‘treating yourself’… because real self-love is less about babying yourself and more about parenting yourself.”
Good parents don’t indulge children with candy each time they cry. Good parents support, teach coping mechanisms, and gently encourage growth.
This is what loving ourselves means as well. It’s not about daily indulgences. It’s identifying and pursuing our longterm values.
Self esteem is not about affirmations
Fuck writing down all your best qualities.
I don’t know who came up with this terrible advice, but it’s pretty much useless. Consider, for a moment, the most genuinely confident person you know — do they sit down every day and write down their best qualities? Maybe they do, but I doubt it.
Confident people don’t do this. And people don’t magically become confident doing it. Only self-doubting people get stuck in this compulsive loop.
Self love is not about affirmations.
As Heidi Priebe wrote,
“Claiming to love yourself and actually doing the hard work of loving yourself are not the same thing… You can repeat a thousand affirmations an hour, write a limitless number of blog posts about how you’re worthy of love and stick millions of post-it notes reminding yourself how awesome you are on every mirror in your house, but that only gets you 10% of the way to self-love.”
Except it’s more like 0%.
The real solution is: agency, awareness, authenticity, and action.
What self esteem IS:
Step 1.) Self esteem is agency
Self love is taking responsibility.
So many terrible articles encourage readers to keep self esteem at the mercy of external forces, prompting them to “think about what is affecting your self-esteem,” and suggesting “your confidence may have been lowered after a difficult experience or series of negative life event, such as: being bullied or abused, losing your job or difficulty finding employment, ongoing stress physical illness, mental health problems, a difficult relationship, separation or divorce.”
No. To this entire list: no.
I’m not saying that bad shit didn’t happen to you — it probably did. Because bad things happens to everyone. But life isn’t about playing the victim, or comparing notes on who suffered most. Life has negatives in the cards for everyone — even the most confident people you know — and the only difference between those with self esteem and those without it is that the first group chose to take responsibility for their lives, their responses, and their actions.
So when it comes to thinking about “what is affecting your self-esteem,” the answer is always “you.”
You are in control of your self esteem. That’s the entire list, beginning to end.
you are in charge. you are in charge. you. are. in. charge.
Step 2.) Self esteem is awareness
This is super important, and we don’t talk about it enough.
Get out of your damn head. Be present.
Stop slipping away. Stop shutting down. Stop freezing and falling silent any time you’re uncomfortable, or unsure, or anxious. Stop reminiscing on the past, or thinking about the future, or wandering around, mentally, anywhere that you actually aren’t.
I wrote pretty openly about struggling with this myself, and the fact that I’m currently working on it, so I speak from a place of empathy and love.
We do this is because we’ve learned that “shutting down” offers security — it’s “easier” if we don’t engage; we think there’s less risk.
But what we give up in exchange every time we do this is moments of our own lives. Which is why, in those brief moments we pull our head out of the sand, we’re filled with panic to realize we don’t like what we’re living. But then most of us respond by seeking reassurance (see “self help,” above — “you can do it!”) or solutions we don’t take, and ultimately shut it back down.
The first step? Awareness of your breathing. Second, awareness of your body in space; what you’re physically feeling. From there, you’ll become more aware of what you’re emotionally feeling as well. Accept these emotions as they come to you.
Wake up. Be aware of what you’re doing and where you are all the time. And most importantly: be aware of what you feel and think about it…
Step 3.) Self esteem is authenticity
It’s knowing what we actually want.
This is probably the hardest part. It’s also really important.
Because “nature abhors a vacuum,” if self esteem isn’t coming from external sources, but us instead, then we have to do the work of identifying what wewant and need — in that vacuum, without regard to others. (Note: just like the “selfish” section, that is not meant to read as “without regard for others.” We should still be considerate. But able to say what we want (or think or feel or need) without having to first ask, “well but what do others want?”)
Self esteem is answering “what do I think?” without first asking “what do others think?” This is harder than people realize, especially because it’s so ingrained.
I was recently thinking about what I wanted to do for Valentine’s Day, and initially could not answer this question— did I really want to go to dinner, or did I just like the way that sounded? Did I really want flowers, or did I just hope they’d serve as some security; some certainty that this was special? Did I really even want to do anything? Sometimes we do things we don’t evenreally want, but doing what “sounds good” saves us the risk of regretting having not done something come the morning of the 15th.
(In the end, what I wanted was a cookie from our favorite local bakery. We go together all the time and they put out these seasonal designs that are so adorable I could die. And then, like a good partner, I said in clear words that that’s what I wanted.)
We do this with everything. We pick where to travel, what to buy, and where to eat based on other people — our order at restaurants is influenced by others’, and we eat more in the presence of people we’re trying to impress. We often choose clothing, cars, houses, and hobbies couched in “what others think.” And sadly, we often even choose jobs and partners this way.
Sometimes we’re asked: “What would you do if you could not fail?”
And that’s great, but an equally great question is: “What would you do if you could not tell or be told by anyone?”
Would you get married if you had to go on telling people you weren’t? Would you drive the same car if nobody saw? Would you do the same thing on your weekends if you couldn’t frame it up as “how it retells on Monday morning?” Would you vacation in the same places if nobody knew?
Would you still be doing the same job and have the same partner if you had to tell people you had a totally different job and partner, both of which they deemed “unimpressive?”
What do you want? Not just in the moment, but in the long-run. What areyour values? What is your version of long-term happiness?
If that’s too hard or scary to speculate: start with a chunk of lifestyle now. Not your leisure time, but your actual life. When, for example, are you happiest at work? If your answer has anything to do with others (i.e., “when I get recognition,” “when I get a raise,” “when I win a deal,” or “when I help others,” you need to look again, for answers that serve you.) Maybe you don’t even like your work. That’s for you to explore.
If you’re struggling here and you just want more “help” on “how to do it:” you are missing the point entirely (and probably also missing the alarm bell that should be going off in your head.) This work fundamentally cannot be done by anyone else. This work is you. Do the work.
If you are so far gone that you still feel lost knowing what you want onany level: you skipped self awareness. You’re not paying attention. See “step 2” for further instruction.
Skipping this step is why “just do it!” doesn’t help
Our struggle (and reluctance) to find answers is why “advice” like “just do it!” or “just try things and see what you like” is met with apprehension at best, and disaster at worst. (If you aren’t in touch with what you actually want, and what your happiness feels like, there’s no way of even knowing if you like what you’re trying, and without this skill set, you’ll just keep falling back on “but it sounds cool” or “it’s what people do.”)
You can’t know what you love if you don’t know what love feels like, and you’re so out of touch with your own feelings you don’t know what it is.
We have to actually know who the hell we are, and what we want. Experimenting and taking action is second-grade reading level and we’re still learning letters over here.
Step 4.) Self esteem is action
Only once you understand what you want — what really makes you happy — in the long run.
Action is about making decisions. It’s about committing. It’s about choice and assertiveness and asking for the things we want and need. It’s about taking steps, and thinking, and coming to our conclusions — and then verbalizing them.
It’s also about being aware. It’s about being alert and awake and active in our own lives — not passive, compliant, or submissive.
As Nathaniel Branden wrote in “How to Raise Your Self Esteem,”
“Living consciously means taking responsibility for the awareness appropriate to the action in which we are engaged. This, above all, is the foundation of self confidence and self-respect.”
Or, to be slightly more clear,
“The difference between low self-esteem and high self-esteem is the difference between passivity and action.”
But knowing what action to take requires knowing what we want, outside of what others want — i.e., authenticity — which requires that we take full responsibility for our lives. Which requires that we dump all of the bad assumptions and models around self love, take agency in-house, and start to build self-fueling fire of our own desire.
About The Author:
Kris Gage
Motorcyclist, Software Manager, Drink-Slinger of the South 🍻 
Reach out: http://bit.ly/2CXgcv5
3K notes · View notes
scatterpatter · 7 years ago
Text
Tumblr chomped my submission so here's Take 2 in an attempt to send the rest
Scatts: oH BOY LET’S DO THESE UNDER THE CUT BECAUSE IM HYPE
*Colorless torn the photo :<
This is where we left of last time hell ye
*One of the tags on that post: mi—–
*sssssips tea*
*Colorless is sad (not about killing though darnit Colorless that anon is dead do you have any remorse red-eye boy?)
He has... a lot of emotions XD
*Mention that he wasn’t always this unstable/a killer
He’s not lying. He didn’t come into existence chill with severing anons, that’s a trait that evolved in him over time.
*Tag notes: Mik—-, Nat——
*sssssssip*
*Strangely no quiet noise from Scatter through out all of this
He doesn’t want to interject- he found someone who C is finally opening up to- to Scatter that’s huge because he reeeeaaaally just wants C to stop this bullshit
*“It’s all HIS fault” -Colorless
;)
*“HIS” is in blue hmmmmmmmM
;))))) It’s almost like I chose that color for a reason ;)))))
*One of the tags is “colorless loves the pronoun game” which is… interesting? The other tags of interest: Mik—, Nath—–
The pronoun game as in “HIS fault” rather than just sAYING HIS FUCKIN NAME WE STILL DONT KNOW BLUE’S NAME YOU EDGY WALNUT- Also continuity error, Mik was supposed to have another dash in it, oops.
*Colorless gave up control on the verge of tears. Was that on purpose?
;) Mayhaps~
*Also the words of Colorless and Scatter were smoothly transitioning during this event? Maybe Scatter was conscious of what’s happening then. Or…more on this later
uwu very conscious
*Colorless never left during his own hiatus. He’s still here. He can add tags Scatter :)
*S I P*
*Scatter wants to be kidnapped. How fun!
iMMA STOP YOU THERE-
*You can’t convince me otherwise. Perhaps for Roleplay Drama? I was tempted to kidnap :3c
I REALLY ENJOY DRAMA OKAY NOW S H O O S H
*I mean he never said “no” that was Colorless
SHOOOOOOOSH
*Maybe another time… :)
*INTENSE SHOOSHING*
*Plz don’t snap my neck Colorless it’s for fun the door will be unlocked and He Can Leave At Any Time
KJFSKJFNEKSJNFEJKFESNSFUNEKFUENUUSIN C DONT TRUST LIKE THAT
*AAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Big mood
*Colorless is not good in hiding Moods
I kNOW RIGHT HOW IS HE THIS RELATABLE
*emotional boy
He’s not good at expressing feelings
*It’s alright Colorless
It’s really not
*I mean the killing thing is not but
*wHEEZE*
*The Shipping of Colorless And Apathy.txt (Ray’s character) Happens
edGELORDS 4 LYFE
*THAT MEANS COLORLESS CAN FEEL LOVE MAYHAPS?
Oh definitely! He’s more than capable of falling for Apathy, but first he’s gotta really trust him. Like, they gotta get really platonically close and develop a deep trust in each other before Colorless can start feeling attracted to him. I think it’s safe to assume Colorless is a Demiromantic Asexual.
*Though I’m unsure what of it may not be canon…
As of right now: Colorless and Apathy know each other and live together with The Game. C and Apa are... “friends”? They don’t hate each other but friends implies C isn’t an asshole at all times.
*Colorless can code. Is Scatter robot? Jkjk. The code reads (as much as I can tell(: “if (edge = true {run angst.exe} ints x = 4 lol Narrwashere)” Darnit Narr…. and “while (int i = 0) {delete blue.file} run owo.exe int ++ returntrue”
Since I’m a comp sci major I like to implement coding in things XD Most of it is clutter/nonsense to give the illusion that he’s doing some complex shit. Narr is a bean just let them mess around- 
*Is that a stitch on his belly? :O Scatter what happened?
;) Something really bad ;)
*“Unfortunately, I need to steal Scatter’s body in order to do any physical tasks ever since the Incident.” -Colorless
Correct! They shared a body so C couldn’t do anything physical without taking Scatt’s body first
*More coding (and me squinting at a screen): “err: blue.file .file is not a real file format you dingus run edge. avi” and “While (true) {Convert blue.file to blue.mem} erase blue.mem” and “Do you even know our real names? Do you?” That last code is weird, huh?
Very weird ;) Odd how Scatter doesn’t ever refer to him by his real name, only Colorless.
*Colorless is… planning something big.
What an asshole
*New code “Run seperate.exe”
This is probably fine
*“Yes, finally, I did it!!! After all this time, I’ll be free of THEM!!!”-Colorless. THEM is blue. Is them referring to two people… or one?
“Them” is colored blue and purple. Them is referring to plural. Blue isn’t the only one Colorless hates ;)
*Colorless pulled Scatter and himself apart….
This is still fine
*Scatter is still purple
Key note- He’s still drawn in normal pencil while Colorless isn’t ;)
*Colorless is crying black. Or bleeding black?
I didn’t explain this because I accidentally left the last event on a cliffhanger but: Scatter Blue and Colorless should NOT be separated. They’re veeery physically unstable when apart, and they would both be dead right now if Colorless hadn’t coded a way to keep them... slightly stable. The black is to signify “tHEY ARE NOT OKAY LIKE THIS”. It’s a mess. It’s a bad idea. Someone stop him.
*Scatter portrays, well, Scatter.
*sQUEAKU*
*Colorless is confirmed to be like a Darkiplier or an Antiseptiplier
What can I say I’m a sucker for edgelords
*“ He’s a character that looks similar to Scatter/me, but has a different personality.” Also pronoun is he.
Oh yeah, all 3 of them use he/him pronouns!
*“Colorless was not a planned character… He was supposed to just be a “Scatter finally snapped” before I made him his own thing. Now, Colorless and Scatter share the same body. Either ego can come out at any time, and we’ve seen them abruptly shift before: So yes. Scatter and Colorless are in the same body. It’s like one of those “he’s a part of me” kinds of things because, you know, alter ego. Someone found a photo of Colorless(with normal red eyes, important to note), Scatter, and someone else with their face crossed out. What’s odd here is we see Colorless and Scatter in separate bodies, which is strange because we always see them sharing a body, NEVER separate. Important to note that Colorless is fully red(save for the eyes and that other black stuff), implying he’s far from a normal human in this form.”
uwu
*“So yeah tl;dr: Scatter is a persona, Colorless is an alter ego. They used to share a body, but are now in two separate bodies. Something bad happened in the past that caused this whole mess to happen…”
uuuuwwwwuuuu
*And then Scooterpooter appears. He’s great tbh give him more screen time plz
I never meant for him to be an actual ego but I love him too much to get rid of him
*Also Scoot’s a demon. Yes.
I want to make more content of the misadventures with him and his summoner kurnsjfndkdjfn
*Blue in a photo. He has a “cool guy/cold guy” aura or something. He blu
DA BA DEE DA BA DI DA BA DEE DA BA DI
*Then red blue and purple scribbles him out :<
Actually the colors crossing him out are red purple and green ;)
And there’s a tag that just says “gone”
uwu *sssssip*
*Colorless’s fear: "Losing any more of himself. Losing his identity. Being forced back together. Being alone with his thoughts. Being lost and forgotten. Forgetting his real name. His fears are very existential/abstract.”
;)
*Colorless’s past can cause him to cry and he hates himself… oh dear
;)))
*“Scatter can and will tip toe around the subject, while Colorless absolutely despises Blue and blames him for everything that happened to them.”
They are b a d for each other
*Man I am excite for the sunrise comic
Tumblr media
You and me both ;)
*Scoot isn’t evil and has no moral compass good demon roller boy
He’s doing His Best(TM)
*Latest art of Scatter shows some blue peeking out of one eye and… some black tears dripping there. Concern.
This is no longer fine
*Oh and more shipping and edge squad is a thing, neat
I was gonna make a post explaining this but basically- after Scatter and Colorless split apart, C abandoned him and eventually found Apa and Game, and that’s when they started to hang out and live together. He cares about Apathy and Game but shhhhh you didn’t hear that from me ;)
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chongjojunsalsa · 7 years ago
Text
mon chérry
word count: 2694 words
pairing: seokjin/jimin (jinmin), seokjin/everyone (super mild, they’re just thirsty as fuck and exist through the group chat)
summary:
park jimin would no doubt consider himself to be the biggest fan of eatjin, but he doesn't have a fucking clue what to do when the rest of the world starts competing with him for that title.
or, seokjin leaves jimin tongue-tied.
note: best if you read on mobile or read it on ao3 and leave a cheeky kudos!
Park Jimin would no doubt consider himself to be the biggest fan of EatJin, even more so than the thousands of people that come online just to watch him shove spoonfuls of cheap ramyeon and packaged kimchi into his mouth, all the while spouting out the lamest (and in Jimin’s opinion, severely under-appreciated) uncle jokes. He wears this title proudly.
Park Jimin is also the regular guest.
And Park Jimin more often than not finds himself having a hard time doing both at the same time, trying to maintain a cool façade and a safe distance away from Seokjin while admiring his side profile. Most of the time, he manages, settling for a pat on his knee. Sometimes, he gives in to lowly temptation, throwing himself into Seokjin’s chest in a fit of laughter whenever he tells a joke. One time, just one, he kind of maybe overdid it a little, allowing his hand to slide from Seokjin’s chest down to a careful amount of centimetres away from his crotch just because Jeongguk was flush against Seokjin’s chest, giggling away, and he kind of maybe felt a little territorial. (He still doesn’t know if he regrets what he did.)
Mostly, Jimin’s an EatJin enthusiast because Seokjin only ever considers doing fanservice with a camera in the vicinity. Whether it’s unintentional or on purpose, Jimin takes it all.
Except that he doesn’t, because he doesn’t own the untouchable title that is the maknae.
Not that he ever acts like one, Jimin would think bitterly when Seokjin and Jeongguk play around, Jeongguk overpowering Seokjin in terms of sheer strength by wrestling him to the ground, their laughter mixing together like chimes in the wind. And yes, Jimin wants to be Seokjin’s favourite dongsaeng, that’s why he’s always his special guest on EatJin, seizing every opportunity he can get to get closer to his hyung, especially when Jeongguk steals all of Seokjin’s attention at any other given time. The same Jeongguk who tells him that trying to gain Seokjin’s favour by appearing on EatJin all the time is cheating. Taehyung absolutely agrees, Jimin absolutely doesn’t.
Fanservice, Jimin learnt, isn’t all about sliding your hand over your hyung’s crotch, it’s grazing your hand over his knuckles for a split second, only to crave contact immediately, it’s the gaze of adoration sent in his direction whenever he does something goofy and everybody else cringes. And while their fans do appreciate it when they act out lines from a makeshift script together, it’s the subtle moments that really sends their minds reeling.
Or that one time they almost kissed on a Gayo. That sent their minds reeling too.
Today, it’s fruits, and when Seokjin says fruits, he means one bowl of cherries and no bananas in sight. Remind Jimin to never get his hopes up with Seokjin.
(“It’s barey a mukbang if all you eat is a bowl of cherries,” Jimin had snorted, earning him a flick in the forehead.
Seokjin puffed his cheeks up in annoyance, crossing his arms over his chest and huffing, “It’s EatJin, not EatJimin, so I get to decide what I eat.
Jimin simply threw his hands up in defeat, an amused smile playing on his lips.)
It’s halfway throughout the liveshow, after six uncle jokes, that Seokjin finally succumbs to the need to satisfy his viewers’ (and Jimin’s, don’t forget Jimin) thirst.
He pops a cherry into his mouth, makes a guttural sound about how sweet this batch is when all of a sudden, his eyes light up like he’s found the cure for cancer and he turns to Jimin. “I almost forgot, I learnt a new special trick.”
“What is it, hyung?” Jimin’s eyes sparkle in anticipation.
Seokjin holds up one finger, giggling under his breath. “You’ll see, give me a moment.”
Jimin’s fingers drum on the glass table impatiently, in patient wait of whatever his hyung had prepared, a mischievous grin because he knows the others would kill to be in his position right now.
Seokjin stares into space for a while, as if focusing on something, and finally, finally turns towards Jimin, a satisfied grin and all, and Jimin prepares himself for something amazing, and underwhelming as it may seem, it’s more intense than anything Jimin could’ve imagined.
But then Seokjin pulls something out of his mouth and sets it in his hand, satisfied grin and all, and Jimin wouldn’t have noticed that that little thing was Seokjin’s party trick if he hadn’t been staring at Seokjin’s cherry-stained lips. Jimin’s smile almost falters.
It’s a cherry knot.
A fucking cherry knot, but that innocent little stalk sitting in the palm of Seokjin’s hand is the least innocent thing in the room right now, not counting Jimin.
“Hyung, do you know what this means?” Jimin asks, lips pressed into a thin line as he lunges for the phone, reading the comments frantically. Oh. The comment section is swarmed with comments, most of them Jimin can read, some of them he can’t, but he can more or less tell that they know exactly what a cherry knot means.
Seokjin senses the panic in Jimin’s voice, and immediately leans in worriedly, pressing the back of his hand “No, Jiminie, is anything wrong?”
Jimin looks up at Seokjin, holding his curious and worried stare for a few good seconds before replying, “It means you’re really good at kissing.”
At this, Seokjin bursts into his squeaky laughter, Pacific Ocean shoulders shaking, hand intuitively reaching over to Jimin’s knee for support, but not before smacking him in the shoulder. “Jimin-ah, you scared me! Of course I’m good at kissing!”
Seokjin blows a flying kiss to the camera.
[ you received a message from eatjin! ]
eatjin yoongi-yah did you watch my vlive~ (◕ᴗ◕✿)
suga&spice no
eatjin 。゚(゚'Д'゚)゚。 as expected from my yoongichii
suga&spice just kidding i watched it till the end hyung i even gave you hearts
eatjin ( ˘ ³˘)♡ as expected from my yoongichii~
[ you recieved a message from seaguk @ emergency meeting! ]
seaguk PARK JIMIN THATS CHEATING
chimmers it’s still hyung to you maknae
sunshinehobi it should be illegal to leave hyung with you
taelien I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU WOULD PLAY DIRTy
sunshinehobi how could you make him do that
taelien and oN NATIONAL TV
chimmers fucking drama queens he did it himself just admit yall jealous
seaguk BITCG
chimmers everyone: 0 jimin: 1
suga&spice yoongi: 100000
chimmers bitch pls i did an eatjin with him
suga&spice forwarded a message from eatjin: ( ˘ ³˘)♡.
seaguk YOURE KIDDING mE
taelien WHY DON’T I GET THIS TREATMENT
chimmers I WONT STAND FOR THIS HE GAVE ME A FLyING KISS IRL FIHGT ME
suga&spice FUCKING GLADLY SHRIMP
chimmers LIKE YOURE VERY TALL
sunshinehobi SHUT UP and can i just say yoongi hyung's a lucky bastard only because he's roommates w seokjinnie hyung
suga&spice we’re forever roommates hyung said so so yall dont stand a chance
chimmers wait a goddamn minute im his go-to for eatjin
suga&spice two words roommate privileges
seaguk THATS CHEATING
taelien I DON’T GET WHY JIN HYUNG WON’T INVITE ME ON EATJIn i’m tHE BIGGEST FAN OF EATJIN ANYWAy
sunshinehobi DONT START THIS KIM TAEHYUNG
chimmers SIT THE FUCK DOWN KIM TAEHYUNG
taelien on jin hyung’s lap
seaguk :)
sunshinehobi it was nice meeting u tae
taelien what lol
suga&spice looks like the maknae wants to reclaim his land
suga&spice FJCK HOW THE FYVK DID YUO GET HERE SO FAST
rapmoney wait what’d i miss??? i was sleeping, sorry taehyung’s incessant screaming woke me up it’s as if he’s being bloody murdered
To Jimin’s dismay, knowledge of Bangtan’s eldest member ability to tie a cherry knot spread like wildfire, the flames of the rumour licking at every corner of the internet, sparing nobody from the endless GIFs of Seokjin popping a cherry into his mouth and pulling a perfect little knot out, more often than not accompanied with a flustered Jimin’s reaction and a simple caption: ‘same, Jimin’.
Soon after, cherry knots became a trend, with idols trying and inherently failing to tie a cherry knot and ambitious fans following suit, to no avail unfortunately. And then all of a sudden, Seokjin of BTS was known for his cherry red lips and what had long dissolved into a simple ‘amazing kissing skills’.
Antis undoubtedly called Seokjin out for faking it, calling it a cheap trick, well, not that it mattered when #CherryJin had been trending as number 1 on Twitter the day they did the livestream, and Jimin is almost sure that Twitter had considered making him a little emoticon.
So how the hell did Jimin not see this coming?
“Why don’t you give us a taste of your amazing ability, Cherry Jin?” the show host – Jimin had already forgotten her name – exclaimed with an enigmatic grin, perfectly manicured fingernails tippity-tapping against the plastic cue cards clasped in her hands.
Jimin had been invited onto a mukbang with Seokjin, their ulterior motive of having the ever so famous Cherry Jin in their studio disguised as clasped hands and charming smiles and the fact that their chemistry on other shows surpass many others. Needless to say,  Jimin was more than delighted to guest-star on another show with his hyung, even if he kind of felt like he was cheating on EatJin.
That day, they had guests from different idol groups come to make some sort of dessert with the theme cherry - of course - in mind. Seokjin and Jimin had won, much to their surprise, because Jimin was pretty sure that the group from EXO had done much better, but the producers probably thought it impolite to let the Cherry Jin lose at cherries.
“It’s nothing special!” Seokjin chuckles, ears tinged red with gratification, the shit-eating grin on his face saying otherwise.
“You’ll do it for the biggest fan of EatJin, right?” she giggles, placing a wretched hand on Seokjin’s godly shoulders, and Jimin grunts in displeasure, fighting the urge to stand up and remind them that this is a mukbang, not a talent show.
Seokjin grins smugly, turning his gaze towards the camera. “Anything for ARMY!"
The woman claps her hands like an overeager circus seal (Jimin is unapologetic), her smile plastic.
Somebody off-stage quickly passes Seokjin a bowl of a-little-too-red cherries, and Seokjin offers a polite nod.
Who cares about Seokjin's cherry knots when Jimin's stomach is tying knots here and there all by itself?
Swiftly, Seokjin slips a cherry into his mouth, plump lips wrapping around it before it disappears into his mouth. Jimin notices that the expression on the host's and the other guests' faces looks exactly like Jimin's when he had been watching Seokjin the first time around, and he doesn't exactly like it.
In all his daze, he hadn't noticed Seokjin had finished his pony trick, content smile and all, until he heard the host lady squealing in what appeared to be incredulity, the other guests gasping along. When it finally registers to him that he's being filmed by a camera to be watched by thousands, he plasters on a smile and claps along with the host. All in good fun.
Jimin can't help when his smile falters a little the moment the cameras turn away from him. Making Seokjin perform something like that - a moment that Seokjin had shared with and only with Jimin just a week ago - in front of a bevy of cameras just rubs him the wrong way. Jimin would rather attempt to tie a cherry knot all by himself than allow Seokjin to go on stage and do that in front of the masses.
But, of course Jimin always speaks (thinks) too soon.
"Jimin-ssi, would you like to try doing what Seokjin-ssi has demonstrated for us just now?" the host interrupts his train of thought with her nasally voice and flicks a clump of blonde hair off her shoulder.
Jimin almost visibly frowns, this host was starting to get on his nerves, what makes her think he'll do it?
... is what he thinks until he sees Seokjin's face, lips pursed into an excited little smile, and he gives in even before Seokjin can utter a single plead. God, he's so fucking whipped.
If Seokjin the virgin (a well-known but surprising fact) could do it, how hard could it be?
Turns out, it's really hard. Jimin accidentally swallows the knot along with the cherry, sending him into a coughing and sputtering mess, and his life flashes before his eyes, until he manages to finally choke it out, tattered with teeth marks. The host's and other guests' cheeks are puffed up with laughter they're very politely holding in, and Jimin realises that maybe it's better if he'd just died. Then again, dying from a cherry knot? He'd be ridiculed by all his ghost friends.
The awkward silence in the studio is finally broken when Seokjin speaks up, voice trembling with laughter. "I hope you finally learn how to cherry-sh your life."
Good news: everybody groans and forgets about Jimin.
Bad news: Jimin himself bursts out laughing, drawing all the attention back to him.
Good news: Seokjin's head is buried in Jimin's chest, allowing for an overwhelming warmth to fill his chest.
Bad news: Jimin is just resisting the urge to get Seokjin to show him just how good he is at tying cherry knots, if you know what he means.
The host laughs uncomfortably at this turn of events and tries to steer the conversation back on track. "Looks like Jimin-ssi has to take lessons from Seokjin on how to tie cherry knots."
Bad move, lady. The hidden implication behind what she says races through Jimin's mind and he bites down on his lower lip to clear his mind and get rid of unnecessary thoughts in his head. A glance towards Seokjin sends his mind reeling once again as he tries to process what his hyung may have meant by a wink in his direction.
Or maybe it was the trick of an eye, because Seokjin merely turns to the camera, puckers his lips and blows a kiss.
[ you received a message from taelien @ emergency meeting! ]
taelien AHASKJAHAHAHA WHAT THE UFKC WAS THAT JIMn thE WAY YOU CHOKED WAS BRUTAL
chimmers ohmygod dont bring that up
seaguk i could probably do it they shouldve asked mE to go
chimmers of all the things to bring up why THAT PART
sunshinehobi i want to be mad at you for being on the show with hyung but there is only pity
suga&spice maybe we can get #cherryjimin trending
chimmers blocked and reported for cyberbullying
seaguk #cherryjimin
sunshinehobi #cherryjimin
chimmers really
taelien #cherryjimin
rapmoney you did well on the show jimin!
suga&spice namjoon stop were bullying him
rapmoney oh i see
chimmers NO WAIT MY ONLY ALLY
rapmoney #cherryjimin
chimmers left emergency meeting.
suga&spice added chimmers to emergency meeting.
chimmers sigh #cherryjimin
-
In the end, Jimin realises that what Seokjin had meant by a wink was quite literally a lesson on how to tie cherry knots.
"Why? Were you expecting something?" Seokjin has the audacity to ask, spitting out the fifth cherry knot he's churned in two minutes.
Jimin has to stop himself from saying yes, but seeing the keen little smile on Seokjin's face is fulfilment enough for him. He rests his elbow on the coffee table and his chin in his palm, gaze fixated on Seokjin, eyes roaming from his eyes to his nose to his cherry-stained lips, resting on the last-mentioned a little longer than necessary.
"Is anything the matter?" Seokjin asks, worry lacing his voice, bringing Jimin out of his small daze. Crap, he got caught staring.
But he only smiles. "Love you, hyung."
"Love you too, Jiminie!" Seokjin shoots finger hearts at Jimin, smile so wide it forms crescents in his eyes, which sends a pang through Jimin’s heart, when suddenly his face lights up. "Do you want to be my special guest in the next EatJin?"
It doesn't take an ounce of hesitation for Jimin to fling an arm around Seokjin's shoulder (it's a long reach) and nod very fervently. "Of course, hyung!"
Yes, Park Jimin would no doubt consider himself to be the biggest fan of EatJin.
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batsysims · 8 years ago
Text
100 QUESTIONS NO ONE ASKS
I was tagged by @tickledsims ty ily!!
1. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR CLOSET DOORS OPEN OR CLOSED? CLOSED when i was younger my little sister had a baby doll that would talk on its own at night and we called it the demon baby and hooooly shit
2. DO YOU TAKE THE SHAMPOOS AND CONDITIONER BOTTLES FROM HOTELS? i dont take those bc my hair cant take cheap hair products but i do take the soaps!!
3. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR SHEETS TUCKED IN OR OUT? i put the mattress cover sheet thingy on my bed but i dont use an actual sheet :/
4. HAVE YOU STOLEN A STREET SIGN BEFORE? nah lol
5. DO YOU LIKE TO USE POST-IT NOTES? YES i love using office supplies i could spend all day at staples omg
6. DO YOU CUT OUT COUPONS BUT THEN NEVER USE THEM? no lol but il save the lil receipt coupons and find them in my wallet months after they expire
7. WOULD YOU RATHER BE ATTACKED BY A BIG BEAR OR A SWARM OF BEES? hhhhh bees
8. DO YOU HAVE FRECKLES? yep!! i love them its why im scared to use foundation i dont wanna lose em
9. DO YOU ALWAYS SMILE FOR PICTURES? i either smile or if my moms takin the pic il make a stupid face 
10. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? i have terrible road rage...... um........... i also hate it when men interrupt me i just walk away at that point 
11. DO YOU EVER COUNT YOUR STEPS WHEN YOU WALK? yeah i pretty much count everything
12. HAVE YOU PEED IN THE WOODS? i dont think so??
13. HAVE YOU EVER POOPED IN THE WOODS? def not lmao
14. DO YOU EVER DANCE EVEN IF THERES NO MUSIC PLAYING? i have an eating dance, a drinking dance, and a video game playing dance hahaa
15. DO YOU CHEW YOUR PENS AND PENCILS? yes ugh it annoys me but i cant stop
16. HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH THIS WEEK? at LEAST 0
17. WHAT SIZE IS YOUR BED? i think its a single? a single or a twin either way im miserable send help
18. WHAT IS YOUR SONG OF THE WEEK? ummm probably You by Weird Milk?? its the most recent song i added on spotify so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
19. IS IT OK FOR GUYS TO WEAR PINK? yeah def unless its one of those “real men wear pink shirts” like just.... stop
20. DO YOU STILL WATCH CARTOONS? sometimes my sister makes me watch stevens universe?? il watch phineas and ferb too bc honestly who doesnt anime too but not always cartoon ones or w/e
21. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE MOVIE? 2001: A Space Odyssey and Daughters of the Dust come to mind
22. WHERE WOULD YOU BURY HIDDEN TREASURE IF YOU HAD SOME? u kno where ;) no how big is the treasure?? if its a lil bit id put it in that drawer under the oven bc my family never uses that but if its BIG TREASURE id hide it in the backyard of the last house i lived in bc a. nobody lives there now and 2. its totally overrun with green bc of like two floods
23. WHAT DO YOU DRINK WITH DINNER? water! only water ever
24. WHAT DO YOU DIP A CHICKEN NUGGET IN? honey if theyre mcnuggets but other than that i use honey mustard!
25. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOOD? chicky parm
26. WHAT MOVIES COULD YOU WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND STILL LOVE? honestly Inception is my feel-good movie
27. LAST PERSON, YOU KISSED/KISSED YOU? a lil babu
28. WERE YOU EVER A BOY/GIRL SCOUT? i was in girl scouts much longer than i ever wanted to be lmao WISH i coulda done BOY SCOUTS
29. WOULD YOU EVER STRIP OR POSE NUDE IN A MAGAZINE? if cash is involved absolutely
30. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A LETTER TO SOMEONE ON PAPER? aboutttt three months ago!
31. CAN YOU CHANGE THE OIL ON A CAR? no but i can watch
32. EVER GOTTEN A SPEEDING TICKET? when i first got my license yea :( 15 yr olds are dum
33. EVER RAN OUT OF GAS? twice! very good memories
34. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF SANDWICH? egg salad gud
35. BEST THING TO EAT FOR BREAKFAST? the all star breakfast at waffle house yasssss
36. WHAT IS YOUR USUAL BEDTIME? honestly like 9 since i always have to wake up at 7 in the am but il stay up til 11 if i can
37. ARE YOU LAZY? absolutely when have ACTIVE ppl done ANYTHING
38. WHEN YOU WERE A KID, WHAT DID YOU DRESS UP AS FOR HALLOWEEN? i was usually a cat bc i never could find a costume i liked smh but when i was 2 i went as winnie the pooh lmao
39. WHAT IS YOUR CHINESE ASTROLOGICAL SIGN? ox!
40. HOW MANY LANGUAGES CAN YOU SPEAK? just english but im tryna learn spanish and japanese and im fluent in french if a two year olds speech patterns can be considered as such
41. DO YOU HAVE ANY MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS? nah
42. WHICH ARE BETTER: LEGOS OR LINCOLN LOGS? LEGOS lincoln logs are big with nostalgia thoooo
43. ARE YOU STUBBORN? with dumb shit yeah but i usually just dont care enough abt stuff to deal
44. WHO IS BETTER: LENO OR LETTERMAN? theyre both old idc
45. EVER WATCH SOAP OPERAS? no lol
46. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? not really tbh i like the adrenaline
47. DO YOU SING IN THE CAR? if im alone!! nobody deserves to hear that
48. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER? nahhh
49. DO YOU DANCE IN THE CAR? when im in the drive thru haaaa
50. EVER USED A GUN? id like to go to a shooting range some time but ive never used one im also very anti gun so i probs would never buy one unless it was a cute lil glock i can handle well
51. LAST TIME YOU GOT A PORTRAIT TAKEN BY A PHOTOGRAPHER? st patricks day it wasnt technically for me tho
52. DO YOU THINK MUSICALS ARE CHEESY? not in general but when ppl start obsessing over a certain one for months on end abt a certain time period and certain performers and certain songs and certain people of history i start wanting ppl to die
53. IS CHRISTMAS STRESSFUL? YEAH I NEVER HAVE MONEY WTF
54. EVER EAT A PIEROGI? my sisters obsessed with them so yea but never like. authentic polish potato pockets or anything just a frozen box of em
55. FAVORITE TYPE OF FRUIT PIE? apple?? im not rly into pie tbh
56. OCCUPATIONS YOU WANTED TO BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID? ive wanted to go into law enforcement/criminology my whole life!! for a sec i wanted to be a firefighter, a journalist/writer/poet, and some sort of artist but u know how kids are
57. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS? i tried to find that clip from malcolm in the middle for like ten mins but i couldnt yea
58. EVER HAVE A DEJA-VU FEELING? doesnt everyone tho?
59. DO YOU TAKE A VITAMIN DAILY? no im a bad adult
60. DO YOU WEAR SLIPPERS? nah
61. DO YOU WEAR A BATH ROBE? im not rich!!
62. WHAT DO YOU WEAR TO BED? usually just my undies but when im living with other people il wear a soft shirt and my dc heroes pajama bottoms ayyy
63. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CONCERT? ive never been to one! i was gonna go see metallica in baltimore but i moved before i could smh
64. WALMART, TARGET, OR KMART? walmart sry targets cool but too much money!!! i go there for home things tho does kmart still exist
65. NIKE OR ADIDAS? ADIDAS ive been trying to get a full adidas tracksuit for YEARS
66. CHEETOS OR FRITOS? fritos! i like the super hot cheetos tho
67. PEANUTS OR SUNFLOWER SEEDS? peanutsssss
68. EVER HEAR OF THE GROUP TRES BIEN? Nope but they must be good im keepin @tickledsims response bc it made me laugh
69. EVER TAKE DANCE LESSONS? when i was a lil babu i took ballet and gymnastics a lil later
70. IS THERE A PROFESSION YOU PICTURE YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE DOING? i hope to never have a spouse  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
71. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? yep
72. EVER WON A SPELLING BEE? ive actually never even had a spelling bee im sure theyre a myth
73. HAVE YOU EVER CRIED BECAUSE YOU WERE SO HAPPY? i think so??
74. OWN ANY RECORD ALBUMS? nah
75. OWN A RECORD PLAYER? nahhhhh
76. DO YOU REGULARLY BURN INCENSE? no but i had a roommate who did i fell in love
77. EVER BEEN IN LOVE? yeah ok lol so one time when i was a sophomore my french teacher had to use a substitute teacher and hes the reason i believe in love at first sight im STILL in love with him wtf ive also had a bf haha im hilarious
78. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IN CONCERT? i dont really do concerts so i couldnt say but i think matd would be fun!!
79. WHAT WAS THE LAST CONCERT YOU SAW? oh my god
80. HOT TEA OR COLD TEA? hot!!!!
81. TEA OR COFFEE? coffee!!!!!!
82. SUGAR COOKIES OR SNICKERDOODLES? i dont rly like either but i prefer snickerdoodles over sugar
83. CAN YOU SWIM WELL? i can only do that weird frog swim i forget what its called so no im shit at it
84. CAN YOU HOLD YOUR BREATH WITHOUT HOLDING YOUR NOSE? ye
85. ARE YOU PATIENT? if im able to distract myself?? it also depends on the severity of what im waiting on i guess
86. DJ OR BAND AT A WEDDING? probs a band i guess i dont rly think abt that kinda stuff sry
87. EVER WON A CONTEST? when i was four i won a coloring contest at the ice cream store
88. HAVE YOU EVER HAD PLASTIC SURGERY? nope im poor 89. WHICH ARE BETTER: BLACK OR GREEN OLIVES? both are good!
90. CAN YOU KNIT OR CROCHET? i can knit but i cant crochet
91. BEST ROOM FOR A FIREPLACE? fckn bathroom
92. DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED? not rly unless its a partnership longlasting romance stresses me out especially with financial responsibility etc
93. IF MARRIED, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MARRIED? -20 years
94. WHO WAS YOUR HIGH SCHOOL CRUSH? my high school boyfriend hahaaa h,,,,
95. DO YOU CRY AND THROW A FIT UNTIL YOU GET YOUR OWN WAY? im an adult sry
96. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? 1!
97. DO YOU WANT KIDS? nope! lmao i love her tho
98. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR? red but i also like many others??? idk
99. DO YOU MISS ANYONE RIGHT NOW? ummm not rly?? im not close enough to anyone to miss them and those i am close to im able to hang with
100. WHO ARE YOU GOING TO TAG TO DO THIS TAG NEXT? god uhhh if you havent done it already and want to, @dreambot @nebula-simms @ellowynsims and @pixelbloom
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mrbronzeskull · 8 years ago
Note
Lmao answer them all and good luck ;)
I’m reblogging this, sans readmore, as it was brought to my attention that for at least one person, everything under that just didn’t show up. I humbly beg forgiveness for putting such a huge chunk of text on everyones dash.Spacey, you cheeky sod. I swear this is like the second time you’ve done this. (I both love and hate you for it) Here we fucking go: THIS TOOK AN HOUR AND A HALF TO DO 
1. Who was the last person you held hands with?I don’t exactly get physical with folks so I have to assume it was my ex, several months ago.2. Are you outgoing or shy?Shy, Bi and ready to die3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?@gpumidnazora​, some day.4. Are you easy to get along with?I guess so? Not very argumentative, very quiet, tell bad jokes.5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?I’d like to think so.6. What kind of people are you attracted to?All of them. More feminine aligned folks usually but super masc folks and androgynous peeps have totally taken my breath away too. Less general note, nerdy folk who I can obsess over something with. 7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?I mean, I’m in one now and while it does have a massive issue because of distance, I’d like to think we can tough it out.8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?My girlfriend.9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?A little, I get flustered easily if im not super close with folks.10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?Fuck, uh, myself? I often have super deep conversations that I should probably talk to a therapist or someone about just aloud to myself. But if that isnt an acceptable answer, @gpumidnazora​ takes the cake.11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?“Oh hell, I thought I said hi when I got home and was all like ‘huh, she hasn’t replied, guess she’s already asleep” after I goofed up on letting my gf know I got home on time.12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?OH! I got one from just this morning! Let’s Face It I’m Cute by 11 Acorn Lane.Aside from that I’ve been all nostalgic lately so Mr Brightside by The KillersTeenage Dirtbag by WheatusGoodbye Stranger by SupertrampEverytime We Touch by Cascada13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?Yes. Please do. I’m a big sucker for this. Or any physical affection really. 14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?Miracles not so much but its real hard to not think of things as lucky or unlucky for me15. What good thing happened this summer?I got plenty of hours at work! 16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?Nope. No. Nuh. There’s two girls it might be and neither of those would be a good choice.17. Do you think there is life on other planets?I mean, it’s literally either that or we are completely alone in the entire universe. Which seems far more terrifying to me. So yeah. But I’m always thinking like microbial or basic life, rather than you know, aliens replete with UFOs and such.18. Do you still talk to your first crush?Nah, havent talked to her in years.19. Do you like bubble baths?I almost always shower, too big for the bath really.20. Do you like your neighbors?Fuck dude I dont even know my neighbours21. What are you bad habits?God, what isnt? Nail biting, snacking, bad sleep schedule, shower delays, then too long in the shower, generally messy22. Where would you like to travel?Canada, Tokyo, America, Brazil, Europe, New Zealand. Anywhere with snow23. Do you have trust issues?Yes? I’m not all that open. Until I am and it’s like BAM HERE’S MY ENTIRE LIFE STORY which is too much typically.24. Favorite part of your daily routine?Jerkin’ it just soooo right. Kidding. Mostly. Anytime cuddling my cat while catching up on Youtube videos is great.25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?My back. just all of that. Beats out the chewed nails and the flab and the face any time.26. What do you do when you wake up?Regret27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?Darker. But I’m such a shut in so that aint happening. Least it looks alright next to my paper white sister28. Who are you most comfortable around?Myself. Or my good friend Emily Mac, the @keepingitreluctant​ that you all know and love29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?One, and boy that was a fucking nightmare of a time.30. Do you ever want to get married?Not really? I mean, tax benefits are nice but I don’t care for it much.31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?Nah, or at least it’s the shittiest ponytail ever, though my hair is the longest it’s probably ever been.32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?I’d take a spin with pretty much anyone because dang most of them are hella good looking plus all that money you could earn through scandalous details afterwards. 33. Spell your name with your chin.zxzbnldyu. Perfect, nailed it. Funnily enough it’s pronounced ‘Ashley’34. Do you play sports? What sports?I played, emphasis on the ‘ed’, soccer (football) and tennis and fencing!35. Would you rather live without TV or music?TV, easy. I listen to music way more than I watch TV.36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?Who hasn’t? Though I have an awful habit of fallin in love with folks when I see them if they catch my eye. All the time. Everyone just looks so dang good and cute.37. What do you say during awkward silences?I’m more of a creator of awkward silences than an ender. Yay for being bad at simple conversation.38. Describe your dream girl/guy?Aw jeez. I mean I’m tempted to earn brownie points by just describing my lovely girlfriend. But if I had to draw up an ideal, I guess just a real sweet cutie who’s down for cuddling and playing games, preferably nice and short, all adorable and fun sized! Short hair is a plus.39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?I don’t shop often. So I guess Robinsons bookshop, EB games and Zing? is that the name of that store filled with ‘nerdy’ junk that’s like partnered with EB?40. What do you want to do after high school?Fuck man I went through high school not knowing and I still have no idea41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?I give so many second chances. Multiple.  But it does depend on the action. If you hurt me, no matter how much or how often, I’ll let it slide (possibly because I have 0 self respect) but if you fuck with my mates or are just a despicable person in general I will only give you a couple chances.42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?I’m almost always pretty quiet. but if i go silent mid conversation it probably means I’m trying to turn something that just got said into a really lame dad joke.43. Do you smile at strangers?yes and no. If I’m interacting with them or like they pass by and its only the two of us I’ll happily put on a (hopefully not creepy) smile but I won’t have a smile plastered on my face walking through a crowd.44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?Space. Definitely. 45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?At the moment, the need to get to work46. What are you paranoid about?People finding out about the murders This and that, usual dark secrets.47. Have you ever been high?Yup and it was eh, I laughed at all sorts of junk but I got serious cottonmouth and had all sorts of gaps in my memory, even worse than normal which was scary.48. Have you ever been drunk?Plenty of times and I think I’m probably 50/50 on if i threw up or not.49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?Recently? I did get Maccas for dinner and pretend that I wasnt hungry when I got home after a rough day at workLess recently I fucked up in a life changing way that no one else knows of and I don’t know what to do about that.50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?Black51. Ever wished you were someone else?Again, who hasn’t? 52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?Add a couple zeros to the end of my bank balance would be nice. But physically? Clean up my fucking back. 53. Favourite makeup brand?Afraid I really don’t know anything about any of them enough to make a judgement call. 54. Favourite store?Zing (im sticking with that name, fuck it) is fun to just chill in55. Favourite blog?God so many, you are all too great!56. Favourite colour?Turquoise 57. Favourite food?A good steak is hard to turn down58. Last thing you ate?Rice and mince.59. First thing you ate this morning?A caramel Up&Go to wash down some pills.60. Ever won a competition? For what?I’m more of a second place kinda person. Or was. It’s all been going downhill for a while in academic or sporting respect.61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?I almost got suspended/expelled after a particularly nasty and widespread tidbit rumour went around about me.62. Been arrested? For what?Nope.63. Ever been in love?I think so. I’m the kinda guy to say it pretty early. 64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?Uh, I took my girlfriend of the time out to a roller skating rink, I couldn’t skate for shit and I couldnt look her in the eyes without turning away and blushing. Let alone hold a conversation. But afterwards she was kind enough to deign to grant me a kiss in the parking lot.65. Are you hungry right now?Nope, I’m good.66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?I talk to you guys just as much as them nowadays. But I would say I’m closer to them than anyone on tumblr, no offense. 67. Facebook or Twitter?Uh I have both but don’t use them.68. Twitter or Tumblr?Tumblr hands down, this is like my only social network platform69. Are you watching tv right now?Nope70. Names of your bestfriends?Emma, Emily, Hayley, Imogen, Lucinda, Ebony71. Craving something? What?Getting intimate with a guy, just accepting my bisexuality recently has kinda kicked that into overdrive. And now I’m blushin.72. What colour are your towels?We’ve got white, black and turquoise72. How many pillows do you sleep with?One73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?Not in about 10 years.74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?I wouldnt have a clue how many stuffed animals from when I was younger are still tucked away in the house75. Favourite animal?Meerkat.76. What colour is your underwear?Black77. Chocolate or Vanilla?Vanilla78. Favourite ice cream flavour?probably vanilla79. What colour shirt are you wearing?Black80. What colour pants?No pants!81. Favourite tv show?Brooklyn Nine Nine or Bojack Horseman82. Favourite movie?Iron Giant? Road to El Dorado? Spaceballs? Something nostalgic83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?There’s a second?84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?Mean Girls85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?Uh, fuck I dont remember the names. The lovely lesbian lass. She was great.86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?Bruce.87. First person you talked to today?My girlfriend88. Last person you talked to today?Verballly, my mum, text wise, my girlfriend89. Name a person you hate?Donald Motherfuckign Trump, I mean hating trump is as common as breathing air as it should be but man he’s such a fucking disgusting cunt.90. Name a person you love?My parents.91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?God I have spent many an hour dreaming of socking Trump right in that bullshit spewing mouth92. In a fight with someone?Not currently. Or at least, the feud is still open and so old it isn’t a fight anymore.93. How many sweatpants do you have?Two?94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?Two?95. Last movie you watched?Moana 96. Favourite actress?Ellen Page is up there for sure97. Favourite actor?Chris Pratt98. Do you tan a lot?Ha, most of my body isnt aware what the sun is99. Have any pets?Boy do I. 2 cats and 5 dogs. 10 chooks.100. How are you feeling?A tad tired.101. Do you type fast?Pretty average 102. Do you regret anything from your past?HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA My memory is a whole lot of regrets floating in a void of forgotten moments.103. Can you spell well?W-E-L-L104. Do you miss anyone from your past?A past best friend of mine.105. Ever been to a bonfire party?I’ve hosted a couple and been invited to one106. Ever broken someone’s heart?I doubt it. Not exactly the type. (devastatingly good looking and/or callous)107. Have you ever been on a horse?Yup, wasn’t the thing for me108. What should you be doing?Sleeping?109. Is something irritating you right now?Well I’m now being inundated by regretful thoughts so that’s a bother.110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?Nah. 111. Do you have trust issues?I feel like this was already asked. But yeah, I would say so.112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?I haven’t cried in literal years. I don’t have a clue.113. What was your childhood nickname?It’s always just been Ash114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?Yup, I’ve been all over the place115. Do you play the Wii?I have, but its been a hot minute116. Are you listening to music right now?Yeah, I had Let’s Face It I’m Cute up for the link and it just played a whole bunch of electroswing music on youtube, now on The Noisy Freaks by Freak Orchestra at least I think thats the name and band, I’ve never heard it before117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?sure118. Do you like Chinese food?Probably not my favorite, but it’s nice119. Favourite book?Too many man, way too many. 120. Are you afraid of the dark?Not really.121. Are you mean?I don’t think so. I’m a weak willed pushover and generally benign and quiet122. Is cheating ever okay?Ugh, it’s not exactly commendable but like anything, it’s all circumstance123. Can you keep white shoes clean?I have white runners, which remain clean by the virtue of me never exercising.124. Do you believe in love at first sight?Not actually, but like i said before I get infatuated on sight all the time.125. Do you believe in true love?Not really.126. Are you currently bored?Buddy, my existence is being bored.127. What makes you happy?my pets.128. Would you change your name?I wanted to change my name to Seth when I was younger after years of “ashley is a girls name’ 129. What your zodiac sign?L1BR4130. Do you like subway?Yeah. it’s normally pretty tasty.131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?I mean, I’m currently dating and so is she so that would be a mess, but I doubt much would come of it.132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?Ok im 90000% sure this was already asked.133. Favourite lyrics right now?“No matter what I conjure it could not help me deflect/ The angry death, of every hopeful thought/ that I might be a lover or a fighter…”134. Can you count to one million?I suppose I could. Like I have the capacity. But I’d get bored and give the fuck up without good reason to do so135. Dumbest lie you ever told?fuck me, I lie, alot, it’s my go to defense. Which is bad. but whatever. Probably the one where I skipped tennis training and claimed that I was going to extra french lessons instead, which was immediately called out by the French teacher.136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?Closed. keep the cat in and the dogs out137. How tall are you?175 ish cms, which is 5′10″ i think138. Curly or Straight hair?Straight, despite threats of it getting curly should  I let it get longer than a college cut.139. Brunette or Blonde?Wait is this asking preferences. fuck. Uh, Brunette? I’m not fussed by hair colour. though I’d probably avoid redheads just because my mum and one sister are redheads 140. Summer or Winter?WINTER141. Night or Day?Night142. Favourite month?October? it’s got my birthday!143. Are you a vegetarian?Nope144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?Milk145. Tea or Coffee?meh, not fussed either way146. Was today a good day?sure! I got to start work 2/3 hours later than normal after a fucking killer three days.147. Mars or Snickers?Mars? I dont eat a lot of either148. What’s your favourite quote?I dont really have one off-hand149. Do you believe in ghosts?not really.150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? “Captain Thomas Kelly, from the forty-sixth Precinct, said; ‘It looks accidental. Grant may have suspected that his familiarity with Damien place him above danger, but a hungry python does not quibble about such niceties’”I know its more than a line, but that’s a hilarious quote. 
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centaursreticle · 8 years ago
Text
> Equius : Display an emotion
-- centaursReticle began trolling geminiDoomed -- CR: D --> Do you have a moment for international policy GD: ii2 iit goiing two ruiin my unprecedently good mood? CR: D --> Yes GD: 0/10 on the propo2al would not recommend GD: what do you need CR: D --> I have spoken with Arlequin and his new auspistice regarding a recent incident involving the fae, my descendant, and a few sapient rights violations CR: D --> W001d you prefer the long or short version
GD: oh joy, my favoriite dii2cu22iion, better giive me the long ver2iion 2o II actually have context  a2 much a2 II want two ju2t go back two 2nuggliing GD: Maybe iif II'm agre2iively cheerful enough iit wiill help temper 2ome of the 2eethiing you're doiing CR: D --> It will not GD: Damn GD: where2 your clown two cuddle that down 2ome? CR: D --> You are suggesting that discussing Arlequin with Mak will calm either him or myself GD: nevermiind CR: D --> I am fine GD: you never get thii2 mad and II'm nervou2 CR: D --> I do not intend to take part in any regrettable violence, and have been considering a number of possibilities to lessen that risk CR: D --> Everything is under control GD: that2 fiine but how are you doiing and would you liike two fiight when we're done talkiing CR: D --> I may need to speak with Twoblade when we are done talking, however perhaps after that CR: D --> May we meet in person, or w001d you prefer this digital medium? GD: iin per2on ii2 cool let me untangle and II'll be riight there. CR: D --> My apologies for the interruption GD: iit2 iimportant CR: D --> It is.  I am currently in my office.
centaursReticle: It wasn't entirely necessary to state where he was, but he might as well.  The Skysmith sat in his chair, rested his hands in his lap, and waited quietly, his thoughts busy. geminidoomed:  He was there soon enough opening the door and peeking in. He was in casual clothes, things comfortable for cuddling in, rather than the snappy dress things he'd been wearing for a while now. Spotting his kismesis (whome he already knew was in there because he could feel him there) Artifex came on in, glancing around the office. "II liike the piicture frame2" centaursreticle: "Art can be a useful reminder of purpose," he said.  There was a chair of the appropriate size unfolded and ready for Sparks, and a cup of coffee. geminidoomed:  Sparks sprawled himself into the chair and picked up the coffee to sip at it- at first cautiously just in case there was salt instead of sugar, that was a popular prank people talked about online. "ii2 iit?" centaursreticle: The coffee was the usual, from the kitchens.  "People, places, and things." centaursreticle: He glanced at the pictures of .. just that. centaursreticle: "... I find it helps me keep in mind the different groups whose interests must be balanced.  .. Additionally, without need for a stationary computer, a lack of books, and no interest in bringing flora or fauna indoors, I was somewhat at a loss for decoration options for the office." centaursreticle: "..   What have you heard thusfar?"  Blue eyes turned to Sparks, focusing on the actual topic for once, rather than dancing around it endlessly. geminidoomed:  "II could get you 2ome cute liittle de2k cactu2e2 they're ea2y two take care of." Sparks offered and took another sip of the coffee. "Mo2tly what we talked about before, no one2 updated me 2iince then. DL wa2 kiidnapped, Arlequin kiilled people iin gro22 way2." centaursreticle: "Arlequin and the fae have been in an active state of war, with casualties, for the past three solar cycles.  His conflicts with them have purposefully been kept separate from our own, due to the difficulties of attempting to manage his behavior in a way that will not reflect on us.  ... However..." centaursreticle: The skysmith's hands flexed slightly, and he set them on his knee.  "Apparently, the Fae see no problem in targeting our people in response to his actions, despite our continuing attempts at a peaceful coexistance that Beforus would be proud of." centaursreticle: "...  I would like to discuss the possibility of incorporating a national or imperial union, consisting of member states such as the city, the limeblood village, Derspit and its satellite nations of consorts, and Arlequin's church.  And any future city sites we construct.  Each self-governing, by and large, with only certain behaviors banned -- and he has agreed to ban a number of practices, if such a union is to develop, with others up to discussion." geminidoomed:  He drew in a breath and let it out slowly. ".. that would nece22iitate the early creatiion of the counciil II wa2 thiinkiing of iin a ..2liightly diifferent form than II'd con2iidered. .. Do we really want two ally wiith hiim and what he2 done? Even iif he promii2e2 two 2top?" centaursreticle: "I do.  It opens a door that will allow us to ask concessions to mediate his behavior, and may enable a lasting peace with less mutual fear." centaursreticle: "..However, I realise fully that I am biased in this matter.  I may be too biased to continue in my current role, after the fae's kidnapping of my moirail, And my descendant, And so many others, and their refusal to take me seriously as someone worthy of concern and their strategic consideration." centaursreticle: "...I therefore have a second proposal." centaursreticle: ".. Additionally, the council as you foresaw it could rule over the city-states we create on this planet.  .../Or/, it could be based on political and cultural boundaries as in the proposed union, rather than partly biological ones as in your council." geminidoomed:  He ran his fingers through his hair, pushing his bangs back from his face and left the coffee mug hovering in the air in front of him. ..These were important decisions. he rubbed both hands at his face and lingered on his back eye, scratching it with the heel of his hand while he thought. "..The 2econd one make2 more 2en2e, e2peciially iif we're moviing iintwo an actual alliance- iif that2 what we're doiing, we've already got pretty clo2e relatiion2 wiith Der2piit and II dont for2ee PM refu2iing the alliiance, thii2 feel2 riight, II ju2t."
He grimaced visibly, uneasy. "He2 the Grand Highblood, and we'd be handiing hiim a way two iinfluence poliitiic2 and poliiciie2 for everyone agaiin , for fuck2 2ake, 2ky II'm pretty 2ure he went out there 2peciifiically 2o we couldnt 2ay anythiing when he riitually murdered people." geminidoomed:  "And II'm pretty 2ure thii2 ii2 goiing two nece22iitate me actually takiing a counciil 2eat iin2tead of handiing everythiing over two 2omeone el2e" centaursreticle: "If we make choices that he dislikes, he will find ways to lodge his objections eventually.  It is better that they be when the problems are small and new, rather than several years old and awkwardly grown and festered." centaursreticle: "It is better to handle these things by conversation with an ally, rather than open conflict with a neighbor of unspecified relation." centaursreticle: "... Also, he is open to the ban of ritual sacrifice, with some aspects for future discussion." centaursreticle: "He claims to be interested primarily in being left alone to his own business.  The situation as he e%plained it was somewhat comple%." geminidoomed:  Sparks leaned his head back and stared at the ceiling for a minute. "II notiice you iignored my whiiniing about not wantiing two be iin charge. .. Okay. 2o he2 iintere2ted enough iin thii2 alliiance two 2top partiiciipatiing iin a major part of hii2 reliigiiou2 ob2ervatiion2. The Fae mu2t really be riight up hii2 a22 riight now." centaursreticle: "I am more interested in productive discussion.  The exact identity of our city's representative in such a hypothetical union does not yet concern me."  He leaned forward finally, resting his elbows on the table and folding his fingers together to consider Sparks over.
"Apparently there have been attacks weekly or more frequently, and he has volunteered to show his collection of scars as evidence thereof.  It is worth noting that he came to me asking for assistance with the fae, without specifying the nature -- the alliance is My idea.  If you are uninterested, standard diplomatic measures may resume from there." centaursreticle: "There have also been significant attacks, mind control attempts, and kidnapping attempts against anyone that chooses to interact with him, regardless their origin.  To which I take particular offense." centaursreticle: "..However, speaking of standard diplomatic measures -- there is the matter of my Second proposal." centaursreticle: It had probably been a while since Sparks had seen the Skysmith impatient.  That took a level of interest and personal energy he usually was not particularly capable of, despite his methodical dedication to most things. centaursreticle: He Wanted this, of all things, for some reason. geminidoomed:  He stopped looking at the ceiling and set the mug down, crossing his arms on his side of the desk and looking at his kismesis, giving his upset kismesis the appearance of full attention as well as actually having given it. Sometimes body language is important. "They're tryiing two driive away hii2 alliie2.. II am not goiing two oppo2e the alliiance II'm ju2t. Really he2iitant about hiim iin 2peciifiic. .. but he ii2 one of u2, and not beiing able two iignore hiim ii2 alway2 goiing two be a thiing" he hesitated. "And le22 fear would be good. ..haviing 2ome 2ay iin what he doe2, would be good."
He studied blue eyes. "What2 your 2econd propo2al that you're 2o eager for?" centaursreticle: "...and him feeling as though he has some voice here would also be good -- for he Is one of us, and a small but reasonable voice is better than him believing he needs to bristle and grandstand to ensure he is considered at all." centaursreticle: Lips thinned for a moment, considering Sparks' eyes for a moment.  ...  He let out a soft breath. centaursreticle: "I would like to write a very polite, apologetic letter to the Duke of the forest, explaining that matters at hive require my attention, and my place is at my moirail and descendant's sides in this time of conflict." centaursreticle: "...And that I will be appointing Twoblade as my full replacement in all diplomatic matters." centaursreticle: "--With full reassurances, of course, that I trust twoblade's judgement in this case /implicitely./." geminidoomed:  He drew breath in through his teeth. "That2 tandamount two a death threat, 2ky." centaursreticle: Equius Zahhak bared his teeth at him in a smile that was not kind. centaursreticle: "If they will not participate in polite, unbladed discussion, let them participate at bladepoint as is their custom." geminidoomed:  He reached across the desk to brush his fingers at the human Zahhak's cheek in what Definitely Wasn't a pap. "Have you 2poken two Twoblade at all about thii2 plan, or diid he ju2t come two miind a2 an iimmediiate threat that they're actually friightened of?" centaursreticle: He let out a very slow breath, closing his eyes.  "...I have considered this in depth, but I have not contacted anyone regarding my potential replacement, nor made any promises on behalf of the city relating to either of my proposals." centaursreticle: "Twoblade is in fact one of the trolls that the fae attempted to control against Arlequin -- leading to their relative cordiality.  His tendencies are violent, but his intentions are in line with your ideals, and he is closely tied to all relevant parties." centaursreticle: "I believe PM would enjoy him, and the lime village he could interact with via an intermediary if and when needed -- in which role I would gladly continue to act." geminidoomed:  "PM'2 a 2weet Carapiice, and 2harp a2 anythiing, 2he probably would- " he chewed on his lip and spoke slowly. "He wouldn't be the wor2t choiice, he2 .. II mean fuck know2 II love hiim, 2o II'm baii2ed, but he doe2 try two work by New2iight'2 vii2iion of the world even when he2 really tiicked off. II'm not 2ure he2 a le22 voliitiile choiice than you, but he ii2 one that miight actually make them pay attentiion, 2iince all they re2pond two ii2 force." He stroked his fingers into the angered man's hair. "..You're 2o gentle, 2ky, no one know2 how hard that ii2 for you 2ometiime2 II don't thiink." centaursreticle: "He is less volatile, because he has made his threats of force and they believe them.  I have yet to invest in such a display, and would need to do so to acquire the same results.  It would be ..." centaursreticle: A few moments passed.  "... Unfortunate." centaursreticle: "It is possible that men may die if he replaces me.  However, their lands will not, and they will be bad men.  In this situation, that is enough." geminidoomed:  "You don't want two have two prove how dangerou2 you are." It was almost a question. centaursreticle: The skysmith hesitated for a moment, actually glancing down below his hands, then sighing softly.  "... I can think of no gesture I would thusfar be willing to actually inflict.  Measuring the exact quantity of force that is both necessary and just is ... a precarious balance." geminidoomed:  "You're two gentle, love." he hesitated. "..II'm goiing two hate the niight they force me two prove my2elf a2 the leader of thii2 place, And II feel liike at 2ome poiint they're goiing two demand iit iin 2ome way." He let out a breath softly.
"..and II'll have two iif Twoblade ii2n't iintere2ted iin thii2. ..a2 long a2 he know2 II would rather he not actually kiill anyone iif he can help iit?" centaursreticle: "... If he is not interested, I may attempt to pull their entire castle into this realm of existance briefly to extend my regards for a brief, polite message." centaursreticle: "Perhaps to thank them for my descendant's return." centaursreticle: A moment passed.  "... If he is interested, I intend to request that no innocents die.  And wars do tend to cause that." geminidoomed:  "That fiir2t thiing 2ound2 hiilariiou2 hone2tly." he stroked at his cheek with the backs of his fingers. "..II'm afraiid of hiim deciidiing the entiire court ii2 guiilty becau2e you're both very angry and they're poliitiical." centaursreticle: "I am not entirely opposed to the idea of conquering the duchy and replacing their leadership with those capable of behaving themselves." centaursreticle: "Which would be a fantastic addition to a hypothetical union of peoples." geminidoomed:  "II feel liike II'm beiing forced two be the voiice of rea2on here, when II've wanted two burn down the fore2t more than a liittle. Can we at lea2t get one of the 2iignle22e2 on a2 an advii2or" centaursreticle: "Such as his matesprit, who he will have to face if he engages in genocide?" geminidoomed:  He looked doubtful but sighed softly and nodded. "..Okay II giive, you've thought thii2 through, iit 2eem2 rea2onable even though you're pii22ed a2 fuck, although II cant tell iif my agreeiing two iit ii2 becau2e II feel your anger and am not that happy wiith them my2elf, or becau2e thii2 ii2 an actual good iidea" centaursreticle: "Your reasons are your own, but it Is a good idea." geminidoomed:  "Remiind me why II'm iin charge and not you?" centaursreticle: "You led us in battle against the Lord of Time." geminidoomed:  "That2 terriible criiteria for ciiviil duty" geminidoomed:  "II get no 2en2e of forbodiing from thii2 path." centaursreticle: "...,"  That was good information to have, even with his own confidence in his decisions.  "... I am glad.  Perhaps you will have your chance to abdicate another night, when or if the alliance is formally structured." geminidoomed:  "IIf a tiime player doe2n't appear two 2mack you up2et the head a decii2iion probably ii2nt that bad" centaursreticle: Small eyeroll. centaursreticle: "I will speak with Twoblade regarding his interest in this posting.  Do you have an opinion on the potential union, or will that wait for another night?" geminidoomed:  "II'm for iit, we miight a2 well. .. II'm not 2ure how II'm goiing two balance thii2 wiith the rebelliion but I'll . manage 2omehow." he leaned back to scrub at his eye again. "II wa2nt expectiing thiing2 two move thii2 quiickly." centaursreticle: "We have been here for several years," the Skysmith noted. geminidoomed:  "the kiid2 are arent even completely fiinii2hed wiith theiir eye2 fiilliing iin on the fiir2t generatiion" he protested. centaursreticle: "We decided the fate of a universe at age seven." geminidoomed:  He rubbed his face again. "And we 2hould have been older than that. That wa2 fuckiing unfaiir on everyone." centaursreticle: "By the time they begin having their own conflicts, there will be a system in place to support them." geminidoomed:  "II wii2h II could fiinii2h one war before II 2tarted another but everythiing2 alway2 2o me22y. II approve the plan2, both of them, and II'm avaiilable for whatever II'm needed for, II'll make iit work, am.. II goiing two have two approach everyone about thii2 2hiit or?" centaursreticle: "If I or Twoblade have your approval to bargain on your behalf, the next you hear about this could be a draft for you to sign." geminidoomed:  "II'm reliitiively 2ure both of you fully under2tand the thiing2 that are iimportant two me" He chewed on his lip and nodded. "..do iit, II'll look over everythiing and would liike two be pre2ent at the offiiciial radiifiicatiion between any group and u2." centaursreticle: "Of course," he nodded, straightening just slightly. centaursreticle: After a moment's hesitation, he reached to gently cover Sparks' hand, squeezing it with a featherlight touch.  "His characteristic directness will clear the air.  You will see." geminidoomed:  He settled his other hand on top of the gentle one. "II hope 2o. .. II love you, when you're done talkiing two Twoblade, we'll let you vent 2ome 2hiit yeah? It'll be fun." centaursreticle: "I suspect this frustration will be lingering, but I look forward to the attempt to disprove that theory." geminidoomed:  He leaned across the desk to kiss him.. way across the desk. He pretty much laid on the desk for a moment. centaursreticle: It was a good look for him.  The Skysmith returned the kiss, rested a hand gently cradling the back of his head, then gently tugged him a little bit further across the desk to more-or-less dip him.  Just enough to be an awkward, helpless position. geminidoomed:  That honestly shouldnt send a little thrill down his spine, but he didnt doubt it was deliberate and the reaction was there and overwhelmingly positive. He liked it when Sky was dominant. He kissed his kismesis  and looped an arm up around his curling his fingers against his skin. centaursreticle: The kiss held for long seconds, before he slowly let Sparks lower just a little bit, and looked down into his eyes. centaursreticle: "...soon." geminidoomed:  He smiled at him and made a purring chirping noise, nuzzling up at him. "2oon. good luck." He hadnt straightened himself up yet. centaursreticle: The Skysmith trailed a few fingers through Sparks' hair, then rose, letting Sparks lay sprawled backwards across his desk. geminidoomed:  Sparks got his arms up under him and pushed himself up, he was looking forward to 'soon'. He snagged his cup of coffee where it blessedly had not fallen off and brushed himself off. Time to go make sure hes eaten well and hydrated and possibly freshen up just a little you know for reasons. centaursreticle: It was satisfying to watch.
-- centaursReticle began trolling barkentineDaedalist -- CR: I apologize for the suddenness of the request, but might you have a few moments to speak at some point soon? BD: ! BD: G0OD 3VENIING C: BD: II 4M FR3E 7HII2 V3RY M0M3NT IIN FAC7 BD: WH4T II2 C0N2ERNIING Y0U? CR: I was hoping to discuss a matter of local politics with you, actually.  I think you may find certain aspects of it somewhat entertaining. barkentinedaedalist:  BC: 4H BC: YE2 BC: 7HIING2 C3R7AIINLY H4VE B3EN HAPP3NIING 0N 7H4T FRON7 YE2? BD: BU7 II 4M CURII0U2 C: PLEA23 C0NTIINU3 CR: I am beginning to feel as though there are certain undeniable confli% between the diplomatic styles of our fae neighbors and myself, as well as certain incidents that may provide a conflict of interest, rendering me an unideal candidate for diplomatic liaison CR: However, I believe they understand you very, very clearly CR: W001d you potentially be interested in a diplomatic post on behalf of this city barkentinedaedalist:  > There is a signifigant length of time between you recieving that message and being able to reply due to shock.
BD: 11 C4N 2AY WII7H C3R7AIINY 7H4T THII2 112 7H3 LA27 THIING II 3XP3C73D BD: GO0DN322 BD: II 4M NO7 2UR3 II UND3R27AND WHY Y0U W0ULD CON211D3R M3 F0R 7HII2 BD: Y0U H4VE H3ARD 7H4T MY 20LE ENC0UN7ER W117H TH3 FAE DIID N07 4C7UALLY C0N7AIIN A D112CU22II0N YE2? BD: 4ND MY 84112 AG4IIN27 TH3M II2 BD: QUII73 2TRONG CR: I can attempt to e%plain my reasoning, if it w001d please you to hear it CR: I am aware of both of these facts barkentinedaedalist:  BC: PL3A2E :C CR: I apologize for not broaching the matter more gently CR: First, you are a reasonable troll capable of setting his biases aside when necessary, with considerable amounts of practice in doing so, whose principles, values, and interests align closely with Sparks' and thus with the equivalent of our national policy CR: Second, Fuck them.  They fear and respect you, and I suspect that watching them beg for your absence -- should they choose to do so -- would be cathartic on a number of levels for everyone involved with the obvious e%ception of themselves CR: Third, you have variably friendly ties to several significant figures whose fair regard w001d positively impact your performance in this role, to include Atlais (who will frown if you attempt to kill an innocent of any species), Sparks (on whose behalf you would be speaking), and Arlequin (who, along with his new auspistice, is significantly involved in a number of current diplomatic issues) CR: Fourth, you are a clear and skilled orator with excellent self control, and a very low tolerance for their exact variety of bullshit. CR: You are calm, openly friendly, and excessively violent as needed.  I suspect this is the approach that will be required, and you are the expert. BD: ...W3LL. BD: II C4N 2E3 NOW WH3RE Y0U AR3 C0MIING FR0M C: BD: IIF 7H3 T11M3 FOR N11CE7II32 HA2 P422ED II 4M CER7AIINLY W11LLIING 7W0 IIN7R0DUC3 7H3M TW0 MY P4R711CULAR 8R4ND 0F KIINDN322 C: BD: 4ND II W11LL H4PPIILY DO 117 WII7H MY 2WORD2 IIN 7H3IIR 2H34THE2 F0R NOW 32PEC114LLY IIF 11 G37 7W0 WA7CH 7HEM 2QUIIRM BD: C0N2IID3R M3 IIN7ER327ED C: II 4M EAG3R 7W0 H3LP A2 MUCH A2 II C4N CR: I believe your brand of kindness is likely to significantly minimize loss of life in the long run, due to its high compatibility with theirs CR: I deeply appreciate your willingness.  W001d you like to begin speaking of specifi% and all current diplomatic affairs tomorrow, after a night to sleep on it? BD: C: BD: 11 B3LII3VE 7HAT II2 WII2E BD: II 2U2PECT 7H3RE II2 QUIIT3 A BII7 TWO G37 THOUGH AND BEIING FRE2H AND WELL R32TED W0ULD BE OPTIIMAL CR: There unfortunately is, but I believe it is not unmanageable BD: EXCELL3N7 C: BD: II L0OK F0RW4RD 7W0 DII2CU2211NG II7 W117H Y0U TW0M0RROW CR: As do I CR: Thank you again for your time, Twoblade CR: I will see you then
centaursReticle: ...First, he had a kismesis to bother.  That would be...satisfying.  The spite could wait for tomorrow. geminidoomed:  If he timed it right he could surprise him in that shower he'd decided to grab. centaursreticle: Quite likely.
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