#this will be saved on my phone indefinitely

[96crewlove]

I WILL NOW BEGIN MY NEW ERA AS A JEFF SATUR ANTI😤

[i-cant-sing]

Jason with baby reader whose very affectionate with him but a total menace with everyone else?

Platonic Yandere Batfam x reader

Yesss obviously 💖💖💖 okay but like imagine something with me:

Reader being the youngest addition to the batfam, could be Bruce's bio kid or not, doesn't really matter. The only reason she even ended up at the Wayne Manor was because perhaps Gordon kinda begged Bruce to take you in because he doesn't want you to end in the horrible foster system of Gotham, just asking Bruce to look after you for a couple of months until Gordon can find a good home and adopt you himself.

Anyways, that doesn't happen because Gordon dies. So what was supposed to be a few months, ended up being an indefinite stay.

Okay usually this would be the point when their yandere tendencies start to show but let's say this time- it don't happen.

Look Bruce and the batfam are like super busy with that crime fighting life, believe it or not, vigilant-y life takes a lot of their time. When their not busy saving Gotham, they're either at home resting and recovering, or at work/school. They simply do not have time for family bonding.

Or so you thought.

You've seen the boys going to the "secret" batcave (u found out soon about their hero identities, cause you're smart like that.) and they spend a lot of time training, so they're definitely bonding. While you don't reveal that you already know about their identities and continue to play the fool, it still kinda... hurts to be surrounded by so many people who are supposed to be "family" yet don't treat you as such. Damian snaps at you anytime you ask if you could join him and the others on anything theire doing- even something as simple as just playing video games.

(And then i found out about Damian and Dick being each others fav siblings) Dick tries to be amicable but even he'd turn down hanging with you in favour of taking Damian out to the carnival, saying something along the lines of "Oh Y/n, its just- I haven't seen Damian in a looong time, and it'd be unfair to him if I brought you along because he's just been lookin forward to this outing for so long. Maybe we can do something next time?" But next time doesn't come around, with Dick always prioritising Damian over you.

You thought that Tim would be easier to spend time with, since he's home a lot more than others, but he's a workaholic to the core, and even of you did swing by with a coffee, just to check up on him, he'd plain out tell you to leave, to bother someone else because he just doesn't have the time. And yet there he was, talking for hours on the phone with Conner.

Jason was nice to you even though you initially thought he'd hate you like he hated Damian and well... his other brothers and Bruce as well. But surprisingly, you got along with him. Probably because he thought of you as this sweet kid who didn't know any better about the world, who just needs to be shielded by Gotham and more importantly- Bruce. Maybe that's why Jason talked to you- you're the only one in the house who's not a hero. Maybe that's what he needed: a healthy relationship with someone normal. And it would've been great if he actually hung around more than an hour. No, he was far too busy with ending criminals, or as he liked to tell you "my job doesn't allow me any holidays. Also, I hate Bruce and would swallow a cactus than stay in his home." But at least he brought you souvenirs from the around the world! His "job" had him travelling the world.

Perhaps the boys are just too busy, or don't like spending time with girls, so you decided to go to Bruce. But he's always busy, either with work or with Gotham, or with one of his sons. He is aware of your presence, he just doesn't exactly know what to do about it. With you not being a vigilante or exhibiting any qualities that he would deem extraordinary or impressive, he doesn't know what to do with you. Sure, he's set you an account where he's given you more than enough money to cover all your expenses and everything else, but that's all he gives. Just financing you until you're independent. He doesn't check in with you, not really interested in your average life, and he won't say it out loud but sometimes, he may have even forgotten about you. A few times, he may have taken you along with him to some galas with his sons, and when you're alone with him, you can sense that he's not... pleased? Content? Happy? Sure, he puts an arm around your shoulder and smiles for the cameras, but you can see the way his eyes wander around the room to find something more interesting, more worthy of his attention. The way he taps his fingers with unease, giving you curt replies and dismissive smiles when you tried to talk about schoo or anything, it all made you realise that you are not a child in his eyes.

You are a burden.

No. No, that couldn't possibly be the case. I mean, he took you in. Bruce wouldn't do that if he didn't care about you, right?

Still, to test that theory, you left the gala, alone and without informing anyone. Surely, he or one of the boys would notice your absence. Surely.

They didn't, even as the gala ended, they all left in their own cars, no one even thought to stop and wonder if you were riding with any of them. Hurt and depressed, you made the stupid decision of walking home in your fancy gown. Of course you'd be pulled in the alleyway and be mugged. The low lives decided that they wanted more than just your money, and when you realised their vile intentions, you began thrashing in their arms to break free, resulting in one of them punching your face repeatedly. Just when you thought all was lost, suddenly those pervs were thrown off you and were shot dead. You looked up and were surprised to find out who was your saviour-

Red Hood.

"Jason?"

"Y/n? I mean, who?" Jason was shocked to see you here, more so when you recognised it was him under the mask.

You rolled your eyes. "You can drop the act, Jay. I've known for a while." You groaned in pain as he helped you up. "Shit, you okay?" He asked, helping you walk towards a nearby bench. "Yeah. I mean I got mugged, but yeah..."

"Wait, what are you even doing out here this late?" You told him about the gala. "Soooo... why didn't you go home with them?"

You shrugged. "Just needed to confirm something."

"Yeah? And what's that?"

You remained silent, not wanting to discuss the topic further. Jason sighed before pulling out his phone. "I'm gonna call, Alfred. Have him send a car so pick you up." You grabbed his hand before he could dial.

"I cant- I don't want to go home." He raised a brow. "Why? What's wrong? Did Bruce do something? I swear to god I'll beat-" you shook your head. "No, Jay- look, I just need a break. If it's not too much to ask, can I spend the night with you? Or you can lend me some money and I'll stay at a hotel or something. Promise I'll go back home tomorrow."

Jason stared at you, trying to figure what's bothering you, but he also didn't want to push you by asking. So he nodded. "Of course, you can stay with me tonight. But only if you promise to make me your delicious chocolate chip cookies tomorrow." You smiled, nodding.

Jason took you to his apartment, cleaned up your wounds, cooked you dinner, cracked some jokes and then tucked you in bed. He actually tucked you in bed. He'd never know, but that simple gesture had you crying until you finally fell asleep.

When you returned home the next day, you weren't really surprised that no one had noticed you didn't return home last night.

No one in that house even knew how you were almost rap-

"Miss Y/n?" Alfred called from the kitchen, eyes wide as he took in your bruised face. "What happened? Are you alright?"

You nodded. "Yeah. I fell on the concrete pavement, someone pushed me accidentally-"

"Alfred?!" Bruce called from the dining room.

"You better go. And Alfred-" He stopped. "-don't mention this to him. I don't want him to worry over nothing."

Alfred nodded, leaving to serve Bruce and the boys breakfast. You don't think he'd tell Bruce and even if he did, you don't think he'd actually worry-

"Y/n?" Bruce was standing at your door, eyes narrowing at your face. "Alfred told me you fell?" He walked upto you, inspecting your face. Wait, did he actually came to check up on-

"How many times did you fell? Face first? Because that's a lot of bruises."

"It was a concrete pavement."

"We don't have concrete pavements in the house."

"I was out leaving from a cafe when I fell. Just wanted to eat some bagels." You continued to lie.

Bruce narrowed his eye at you before sighing. "Look, I don't have time for this. If you're in trouble, just tell me."

"I'm not."

"Then do you really expect me to believe that you fell? Is this a desperate cry for attention?" He pinched the bridge of his nose. "If you really did fall in public, "multiple times" as you claim, did you at least get a cab? I don't want anyone taking pictures of you like this and make headlines tomorrow about one of the Wayne kids being abused. I won't have you tarnish the family name."

What? Did he just- did he really say that?

"No. Its not-" you were interrupted by his phone ringing, and Bruce left you to take the call.

You sat there on your bed, dumbfounded and even more heartbroken than before, mind replaying the words over and over again, trying to make sense, make EXCUSES for him, that perhaps you misunderstood him.

But you didn't.

That day, you had finally given up on the batfam. You refused to make a fool of yourself any longer by hoping that one day they'd accept you. You were and always will be an outsider to them. You won't depend on him any longer, even for your finances.

Years went by and you worked hard on yourself to get admission in a highly prestigious college with a fully funded scholarship, all while you worked to handle your expenses. When you got your admission letter, you didn't even bother telling anyone at home about it. Instead, you went out for lunch with Jason to celebrate (who had been dropping by more regularly ever since that night you were mugged), who was more than overjoyed, ruffling your hair and telling you how proud he was of "the only sibling smart enough to bust him out of jail and retirement homes." Jason truly did want this for you- to be normal and go to college like other normal people.

You moved out of the Wayne Manor quietly and moved into your college dorms in a different city, where you found an even better job on the side. The job that now helped you save up enough money to start paying Bruce back for all the years he had to spend housing, clothing and feeding you.

After a couple of months, you were able to wrote your first cheque to Bruce. And if it weren't for the large sum of money and your name attached to it, Bruce wouldn't have realised that he hadn't talked or even seen you for a while. He didn't allow himself to feel guilty for thinking that he may have forgotten about your existence for quite some time.

Picking up the phone, he called you and asked you about the cheque.

"I'm paying you back." Bruce was a little surprised to hear the monotonous tone.

"For?"

"The money you spent on me all these years?"

"Why? And how are you even paying?"

"I've got a job." What? When did this happen? "Look, I gotta go. I have class." You cut the call, and what class? As far as he remembers, Alfred had said something about attending your high-school graduation earlier this year.

Were you in college?

No, no. If you were attending college, he would know. Surely, you'd tell him. And even if you didn't or he forgot, he would remember paying for your tuition. Or maybe he already was, from the account in your name where he sent monthly payments.

Curious, he called the bank, only to be informed that you haven't used the account in years! They did inform him that you opened a separate account, and since Bruce owned the bank, they let him see the account and what you've using it for.

That's how he found out about your college.

You were just leaving your class to go home when you spotted him leaving the Dean's office. Apparently you were not the only one who spotted him, as your classmates all started talking about the famous Bruce Wayne. As Bruce's eyes met yours, you immediately turned and walked the opposite way until you had left the campus, and you went home.

You weren't surprised to see his car outside your apartment. But you were a little surprised to see him in sitting inside your apartment, sitting on the couch with an unamused expression.

"What do you want?" You asked, dropping your bag.

Bruce raised a brow at you. "What? No, hello?" He sighed. "Why did you leave the campus after seeing me?"

"I don't want to be associated with you."

His gaze turned stern. "Why? Are you embarrassed?"

No, I hate you. "No one will take me seriously if they knew I was related to you. I just want to be-"

"-independent? Is that why you sent me this cheque?" Bruce pulled out the piece of paper and dropped it on your coffee table. "Why are you doing this?"

"I told you, I just wanted to pay you off."

"You don't need to. You're family."

Only on paper. You thought.

You shrugged. "Doesnt matter. I'm paying you back every cent."

Bruce stood up, walking right in front of you and it was just then that he realised how much you'd grown up. You looked nothing like the scared little kid who was always peeking from around corners. You had matured, far too much for your age. He could see the little bags under your eyes, the wrinkles on your forehead, the disdain in your eyes.

"Why are you trying to cut me out of your life?" Before you could argue, he put a hand up. "I saw the documents. You didn't list "Wayne" as a surname on your college documents. You're trying to distance yourself from the Wayne name? Are you in trouble? Have you done something... dishonourable?"

You scoffed. All these years and all he cares about is his public image.

"Dont worry, I haven't done anything to bring down your family name." You spat. "Look, just take the cheque and leave. You'll never hear from me again, either in the media or otherwise."

Bruce glared at you, clearly slighted. "You're being difficult for no reason." You had to bite your tongue to stop yourself from going off on him.

He turned around to leave, not bothering to pick up the cheque.

"How'd you get inside?" You asked when he opened the door. You wanted to know, especially since you took all the right measures Jason taught you to stop anyone from breaking in.

He looked over his shoulder and smiled.

"I bought the building."

-

You moved to a new place the next day, after you found out that the landlord refused to accept payments from you, since "your father owns the building. You don't need to pay rent." You wish it was easier to change schools though because apparently the everyone now knows you're Bruce Wayne's kid, which everyone figured out when someone called "Y/n WAYNE, please report to the Dean's office", who showed you that he had the college administration fix the little mess up of "forgetting to add Wayne to your name in all the documents" and then told you that he's very grateful to your father for his very generous donation to the college.

Bruce didn't bother you much after that interaction, except for monthly cheques and cash he'd send you, but you're never using cashing them. He also sends you regular invites to galas and social gatherings or even family dinner at home. You don't go to Wayne Manor anymore, not unless absolutely necessary.

Like today, when Bruce called you to come home for a "family portrait" for a magazine or something because the article is covering about all the Wayne kids.

You could already feel your throat closing up as the Manor came into view. You were greeted at the door by Alfred, the man saying he missed your presence at the manor. You just smiled and nodded.

"No luggage?" He inquired, noting that you only brought backpack.

"No. I won't be staying long."

You started making your way towards your room when you passed Damian's room.

"Y/n?" Dick called out, surprised to see you after so long. Or at all? You'd wonder.

"Hey." You said, eyes darting from him to the room where Tim and Damian were, both just as stunned to see you there.

"So, um... how are you?" Dick asked, unsure how to proceed this conversation.

"Great." You replied before turning around and walking to your room, leaving the boys befuddled.

Luckily, the photographer came soon and started with the shoot, and if it weren't for the photographer continuing to tell you to scoot closer to your brothers until Dick just pulled you and you ended up being squished in between them. Had Jason been here, things would be way more comfortable. But since he's been declared dead to the world, he can't be a part of the family portrait.

And later on, its time for dinner and reader is leaving but Bruce calls her back, telling her to at least stay for dinner if not for the night, and you tell him "I can't, exams are coming up." And he replies "really? The schedule your Dean sent me doesn't show any exams coming up." And after some back and forth, you finally sit down at the dinner table, chewing your food silently while the others talked. You were almost finished and this miserable reunion was coming to an end when one of them started to talk about something that triggered you.

It could be anything, from badmouthing Jason to even telling you to get off your high horse and stop thinking that you're better than them just because you've been living on your own and shit.

That's when you just couldn't hold back your anger and went off on them. Everything you'd experienced, all the emotional abuse and neglect you'd been subjected to from them, you told it all.

With tears in your eyes, you left the manor, only to be kidnapped by the Joker. Bruce and his sons didnt say anything to each other that night, except for replaying your words over and over again, simmering in their own guilt silently. Well, that was until-

"She wouldn't know the sacrifices we had to make to keep her blissfully unaware and ignorant of all the crime outside!" Damian yelled. "Just to keep her wrapped up in this bubble, outside of which is a world where she wouldn't ever truly survive if it wasn't for us!"

"Damian-" Dick sighed frustratedly. "-she never asked us to do this all. We chose this life, long before she came along. It's unfair."

"Unfair??? Then how could she claim she didn't feel "protected" when all we've done is slave over making this hellhole safe! How can she say that from the comfort of this home? She's nothing but ungrateful to us and to father! I'm telling you Grayson, if the tables were turned, she wouldn't ever make the sacrifices to save us!" Damian yelled before slamming the door on his way out.

Dick pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes as he asked Tim. "Do you... think we've failed her?"

Tim was staring at the ceiling, keeping his thoughts to himself. He definitely felt guilty, he remembers the way he would dismiss you.

Tim's silence was enough answer for Dick, though the two didn't know what to do next.

Thankfully, Alfred did.

"Miss Y/n forgot her phone here last night. Should I parcel it-"

Tim was already out of his seat, grabbing it. "No, I'll take it to her." Turning around, he saw Dick also standing.

"We'll take it to her. Thanks Alfred."

-

10 hours later, the two brothers stood outside your apartment. They knocked, but you didn't answer.

"Maybe she's at college?" Dick wondered. "Wanna wait here or go- Tim, wait for me!" His younger brother was already down the stairs when they saw Jason outside.

"What are you two dimwits doing here?" Jason asked, actually surprised to see them there.

"Y/n forgot her phone." Tim said, pulling out your phone. "She's not home. We're going to her college."

Jason's brows furrowed. "Why? She doesn't have classes today. We were supposed to meet for breakfast."

Dick couldn't help but feel slightly jealous of your relationship with Jason. Were you always this close to him? And why Jason, he was home far less than any of them.

Jason moved past them to your apartment, a spare key in his hand. "Maybe she just doesn't want to see you two."

Again, Dick couldn't help the envy that creeped up on him at the sight of Jason using a spare key to let himself in, the feeling only intensifying when he spotted many frames with pictures of you and Jason together.

After checking the whole place, you weren't there. Now, it was time for Jason to start panicking, as he asked them what happened at the manor, and he blew up at them as well for pissing you off like that.

When they had confirmed that you weren't in college or had ever returned to the city yesterday, they all went into panic mode as they informed Bruce about you going missing.

They all rushed back to Gotham, where Bruce had already pulled up CCTV footage of the place where you were last seen, hearts dropping when they saw someone come up from behind and knock you out, before kidnapping you. But no matter how much they searched for you, how many goons they beat up, they couldn't find you.

It is during this time that their yandere tendencies start to develop.

And it wasn't until a week later when they received a hint about your whereabouts, and they finally found you, in a warehouse, chained to the ceiling, a shock collar around your neck, all bruised and beaten because come on, Joker ain't gonna go easy on you.

The torture he subjected you to, it was almost comparable to the one Jason had to suffer. You were unnervingly still, and they couldn't help but wonder whether you were... dead.

That was until the shock collar went off and you screamed as your body jolted, Joker's manically laughing in the shadows.

"She's a tough one, much better than the wannabe Robin! I've been shocking her, waterboarding her, whipping her all week but she refused to tell me your real identities! I was starting to believe her when she said she didn't know, but it's just fun seeing her writhe in pain-!"

They beat Joker up, while one of them takes the collar and chains off you. You'd passed out from pain and exhaustion, and when you woke up, you were back in your room at the manor. While you were unconscious, Jason did end up revealing about how you actually did know about them being vigilantes, further intensifying their guilt and increasing their yandere tendencies, after all they do realise how they've failed to protect you.

So the story from here progresses on to when reader is actually forced by the family to stay in the manor to heal, all while their need to protect you increases the more you refuse their help.

When your injuries have healed and you're ready to leave, but they don't let you. Bruce tries to approach you, gently telling you that you need to be at home with your family, where you're safe. He wants one more chance at righting all his wrongs, he won't shy away- he admits he's made mistakes in the past with you. You back away when he tries to come closer to you.

"You don't get to choose to make up for your mistakes when you feel guilty, not when I had to spend all those years learning to live with your horrible parenting."

Tim spoke up next, telling you to just listen to what he has to say, but you cut him off with a dismissive hand.

"This is how you used to brush me away whenever I came to you, like I was some sort of fly, always too busy, too much of a hassle to even reply to a simple hello. So, why should I give you my time of the day now?"

Dick tries the comforting approach too, surely you don't hate him as much since he wasn't even around that much in the first place to cause you any hurt, promising you that he will do better this time. But you shut him down quickly too.

"I was never a priority for you then. I used to sit on these stairs, waiting for you day and night to finally be able to spend time with you. I know better by now than to trust your false promises."

Damian had a melt down next because you insulted his favourite brother. He went off on you that you never had to suffer through the same trauma as he or any of them did. How it's unfair that you don't give them another chance, how you don't understand that the Wayne's aren't a perfect family because of all the horrible things they've had to and still do go through on a daily basis.

You stared at him for a few moments before replying.

"I was almost r*ped."

The room went deadly silent, Bruce's mouth agape, Damian's eyes widening, while Dick and Tim turned pale.

"The night we went to that gala, you guys all left without me. I was pulled in an alley, mugged and almost r*ped if it weren't for Jason." You chuckled dryly. "What's worse is that none of you even bothered to call me, or even noticed that I hadn't returned home that night. I could've been dead in a ditch and none of you would've noticed for months, if not years." You wiped the tear that escaped your eye. "None of you attended my graduation, none of you noticed I had left for college, not until I sent a cheque to Bruce. I've buried you all in my past, and if it helps you sleep at night, I have forgiven you as well but I will never forget."

You looked at Damian. "And just because you've gone through some shit Damian, doesn't mean I'm undeserving of love and respect. I've experienced traumatising incidents too but the difference between you and me is that I don't use them an excuse to be a fucking dickhead."

You heard a car honk from outside. "Jason's here to drive me home- my home."

But before you could take another step, Tim had injected you with something. You jumped back, holding the puncture wound on your neck.

"W-what did you do?!" You yelled at him, and Tim only shrugged. "What's necessary."

You heard another honk, and this time, you opened your mouth to yell for Jason, only to have a hand slap over your mouth, muffling your screams for help. It was Dick, as he quickly wrapped his arms around you and pulled you to his chest, dragging you away from the door as Bruce ordered Tim to put the whole house on lock down mode (essentially an impenetrable fortress), while Damian went outside to release his anger on Jason, both for failing as a brother to you (not that he'd ever admit it) and for Jason being clearly your favourite.

And from here on, you're being constantly coddled by the batfam (except for Jason since he does actually want to save u from the batfam). Bruce is always the first one to greet you every morning, and if you're still asleep when he comes, he might get away with patting your hair without you flinching away. He'd greet you, tell you he's expecting you to join him downstairs for breakfast. You simply turn your back to him, pulling the covers over your head, not bothering to reply to him, hoping to catch a break in this goddamn house.

You're only able to spare yourself for a few moments before the covers are yanked off you and you're greeted by the cheery voice of Dick. "Good morning, baby bird!" He'd yell before pulling you up and of the bed by your arms, and then to his chest, spinning you around as you try to escape his crushing grip. He's not fazed at all, mostly because he views you as a tiny little feral kitten who just needs a lot of love and snuggles. He drags you down for breakfast, everyone else already seated. You're seated between Dick and Bruce so that you can't run away, and also because Bruce makes it a habit of talking to you on various topics, usually about the book he'd leave on your bed. You would talk to him at first, but after a few weeks, you got bored with the silent treatment.

If its Dick's day with you, he spends most of the time trying to do anything and everything. No activity is off the table. Baking? Hell yes, but he's the only one who laughs after he intentionally throws flour at your face and fails at starting a food fight when you just leave. You wanna play board games? He's pulled out every board game in history and he very obviously let's you win. Movie night? He's build a fort (that he claims you two built together. You didn't, you just stood there while he built it.) And has all the classic films, pulls you close so that he can nuzzle his cheek with yours (again, not fazed by you trying to scratch his face off). Sometimes, he'd even bring you to the gymnasium (because Bruce can afford to build one in his house), where he lowkey forces you to learn about gymnastics, but at least he's a good spotter, cause you never get hurt.

If its Tim's day with you, he makes you spend the whole day just... with him. Look he's sleep deprived, he's lanky, he doesn't have a lot of energy like Dick or Damian, but what he does have is... perseverance. Tim will literally handcuff you to him if it means making sure you stay by his side. If he's getting coffee, youre getting coffee with him (he makes you a cup). If he's sleeping, you're right there, either get comfy and sleep next to him, or stay up and be bored because he's dead asleep. If he's in the batcave reviewing CCTV footage, you're there with him all day and even nights. He just wants to the remorse of dismissing you before to go, almost like he's trying to make up for all the time he wasn't there when you needed him, to now being in your business every second of the day.

If its Damian's turn with you, he's... weird. He doesn't actively make you do anything with him, it's more like having you observe him. He'd have you sit on the side and watch him train for hours on the end, rudely refusing to let you go do something else, or even train with him. He's playing with Titus? You're supposed to be watching him teach Titus tricks. He's going for a walk? No, you're the one who's walking while he's running laps past you. It's like he's trying to impress you to make up for his shitty words and behaviour.

As for Bruce, he likes to spend his time with you on a schedule. Have breakfast with him, then go on a jog around the estate, then accompany him to his home office where he works while you do college work (because obv, he shifted you to online education), and he definitely annoys you by standing over you while you study, not helping you until you ask for it but also not leaving so you feel intimidated under his stare and continue to make mistakes. Then have lunch at noon, followed by him giving you a puzzle or one of those fake crime files to solve, he likes to stimulate your brain and see how it works. This activity takes time so by the time you're done, Alfred has prepared supper. You both have dinner and then you both go to the library to read, because he wants to something less stimulating to the mind as your bedtime nears. Then he tucks you in bed, sits by your side and gives you a lot of positive affirmations (which he picked up from the parenting books in his library), before kissing the top of your head and leaving.

As for Jason, since he still insists on "saving" you, he's not allowed to see you. He can try breaking in all he want, he can't outsmart the Batman.

Or can he?

I had to type this on mobile with henna on my hands.

Yall better be grateful.

[houpss]

STRAY KIDS DIED,WHEN PROTECTING YOU

I saw this on the Internet and it drove me hysterical. I wanted something super sad, so I'm writing this (💊))

I'm an empath and while I was writing this...oh, I was crying like the last bitch. Parts will be released by two members!

pt2;;pt3;;pt4

BANG CHAN

He covered your body from the bullet wound.

He died in the hospital on the operating table at 23:00...a beautiful time isn't it?

This happened when you and Chan were planning to go for a walk to the mountain parks, you had been wanting to go there for so long!

A murder was about to happen to you, because when the agency confirmed your relationship with Chan, a huge amount of hate was poured out on you.

That day you were in a beautiful white dress, Chan was also very handsome, your dear Chan.

Suddenly you heard a noise near the front door and Chris went to check, the next thing you heard was a scream: “Y/N, HIDE.”shoot.

You ran after him, saw only Chan’s body, you put his head on your lap and immediately called an ambulance, you could only whisper: “Don’t close your eyes, hold on, my love,” your hand was on his wound, he looked at so tenderly you.

You held his hand always, you refused to let him go, and his fingers weakly squeezed your hand.

Chan was taken to the hospital, and you immediately called the boys, your words were incomprehensible, and your tears were choking you.

You are all gathered in the hospital, the operation is already three hours, your heart is breaking, and the red spots on your white dress are drying up.

words: "Sorry, we couldn't save him"

The members were the first to enter his room... Felix and Jongin were the first to leave in tears... followed by Hyunjin hugging Jisung, then Changbin and Minho... Seungmin came out last.

When he died, you screamed heartbreakingly, there was scarlet blood on your white dress, the last symbol of love.

Have you lost track of time, how much did you spend near his cold body in the hospital? How long did you hold his cold hands and lean your forehead against his forehead?

You refused to let go of his body, please don't take Chris away.

You kiss his cold lips one last time.

The boys were heartbroken and you were killed, your soul died along with Chan.

You don’t remember the funeral, you don’t remember how long you sat at the grave, you don’t remember anything. Everything in your apartment smells of him, everything reminded you of him...

You always wear his big black hoodie and his hat, you wear all his things. Leaving the smell of Chan on you

Your eyes are always red.

You have Chan as wallpaper everywhere on your phone, you don't want him to slip from your memory.

The boys went to rest for an indefinite period of time, and you flew to Australia to visit Chan’s family, having previously visited the dorm and collected his things. You cried non-stop, your grief was unbearable.

You will remain living in Sydney with Chan's family, but will occasionally fly to Seoul to visit the boys...their fates are on the eve, their leader is dead, your sweet Channie is buried two meters underground.

Such a life will not last long, you will never be able to accept the bitterness of loss.

You will die exactly five months after Chan, the last syndrome of your love. I'll be back soon.

LEE MINHO

He died immediately, no one could help him.

You walked down a dark alley with Minho, he held your hand tightly so that you wouldn’t be afraid, you’re not afraid, are you?

In the distance, some men were beating a girl, Minho saw this and was consumed by anger.

The girl was saved, she ran away and he protected you from these men, but...

He was stabbed in the neck.

You were covered in blood, you were hugging his already inanimate body.

Minho looked at the sky with glassy eyes, he is now one of the stars in the sky.

A police investigation began, then the company released a statement... then a funeral, crying members, Minho's broken parents... how vague everything.

You immediately took Soonie, Doongie and Dori from Minho’s apartment.

You tried so hard to support everyone, but you yourself were killed from within.

You saw him in all your dreams, you fell asleep with the thought that in your dreams he would be nearby.

It's become an addiction.

You moved into the dorms and lived there so often, helping the members. Everything was easier with you.

With Minho's death, you promised yourself that no one else would ever take your heart. You are forever faithful to Minho.

You will definitely ensure that those who killed Minho are punished.

You will definitely achieve justice.

You've been sitting on his grave for so long... leaning against the tombstone with the name "LEE MINHO 25.10.1998-03.04.202*" such a beautiful name, such tender feelings.

You will help the boys return to the industry, you continued Minho's work.

You will continue his life in your heart.

[homecomingvn]

Hey everyone! It's, uh, it's certainly been a minute.

If my brief return a few months ago and then radio silence yet again is any indicator, I'm sure most of y'all probably know where this is going.

HOMECOMING, as of now (and for the indefinite future) is going to be on hiatus, and maybe discontinued.

This project initially started out as a silly idea, a culmination of my love for the yandere vn community and the wonderful games it has created, and my original plot and cast of characters. In the beginning, I was trucking along, working on scripts, planning out routes, spending hours of research on coding and how to get this thing up and running. Not to mention, the attention my silly lil project garnered was a lot. At least to me. I've had a semi popular writing blog before, and was no stranger to inbox asks, and how they pile up, or the notes that popular posts can get.

I was far too ambitious in all honesty, and once the glitz and glamor of a new project wore off, I hit a massive wall. Hard. It seemed that to actually work on HOCO was much like pulling teeth - whether it was writing, drawing, or even *thinking* about it, I found myself sinking further and further into a imposter syndrome of sorts.

And well, I guess making this announcement is sort of proving it right.

Even so, I've always known when to take a step back, when to settle down -- and now, I'm just making it official. I owe you all at least that much.

The blog will be staying up - I have no plans to delete it in the slightest. I'll just log out of it most likely - I'll still be around on my personal tumblr, where I'll hopefully start being more active there again.

Nothing could have prepared me for just how much care, how much love you guys have shown HOCO - so much so, it's still hard to believe. All the fanart, the fanfic, the memes - they're all saved to my phone, in their own album. Thank you to all who have made amazing creations for my silly characters, as well as the countless asks y'all have sent - maybe one day I'll be able to answer all of them.

I really hope one day I can return to this project with fresh eyes -- I'm hoping real, substantial time away from it will help that process. There are other, personal projects that I've been doing that have helped that creative spark again, as well as indulging in traditional fandom activities, mostly fanart. Unfortunately, I think it's safe to say that my time in the Yan VN community is over for the time being, at least until/if I start working on HOCO again. (Or whenever I play the latest updates of 14DWY - I am the Leon Fan Club President after all ^^).

I've been rambling too long, and I think it's time to close this chapter for now. Thank you all again - and one last Henry for the road. They were there since the beginning of HOCO in 2019, so it feels right for them to be here at the end.

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2024-08-15

(Previous post - current page 605)

I'm a bit bleary but I had an early-morning appointment cancelled and I literally HAVE NOT been able to get Homestuck out of my head, so I'm gonna do YET MORE liveblogging and keep up my storm-rush to catch up-- or at least get back to the Candy timeline I already care about so much more than this one!

But first (as evidence of my obsession), before we hit that next link, I have some THOUGHTS I typed up in the middle of the night on my phone after recovering my wits from that huge binge of liveblogging yesterday that I'd like to go ahead and paste, then I'll hit the link and continue as usual after that under the cut. Ahem:

I belatedly realized that AL is glowing rainbow because of the power she stole by devouring Lord English, and we don’t know what that power entails beyond “she’s immortal and massively powerful and could perhaps even curse others” (and/or has some extra command over the narrative perhaps, gone into below).  Dirk is still confident that he can destroy her or stop her from stopping him in time to thwart his ambitions, somehow, which is arrogant of him but also interesting and probably right because there’s no way thematically she’s going to win all on her own… the last two times she was knocked out of commission, Alt Calliope was a victim of **TIME** delaying her by knocking Jade out or knocking her out of Jade, Time serving as SPACE’s vulnerability.  All Dirk needs to do is use ploy after ploy to STALL her and dilute her power until his work is done, and once he’s responsible in sort for the creation of all that will ever exist in Paradox Space, securing his spot in a piece of the puzzle as part of the canon story writer of “FOREVER” and its Paradox-Space-spanning loop, he will have won in his eyes.  But if Sburb and its world-devouring sacrifice system of reproduction are CREATED here inside Canon, that also means that OUTSIDE OF CANON, the system of creating universes can be WRITTEN DIFFERENTLY, more kindly and without Dirk’s judgmental and character-traumatizing nature, a new game that births non-doomed timelines and universes of promise WITHOUT destroying what it came from just for “fairness’s” sake, a new game without Dirk’s need for such draconian challenge that teaches its players to become Heroes but doesn’t have to follow such punishing, destructive planet-wrecking and eliminationist rules as the original or give Gods too much control over the universes they create… a system of Orchids instead of Mistletoe, which uses the freedom of being outside Canon for possibility to bloom INDEFINITELY.

Calliope and Roxy were about to describe or debate a plan of their own to fix the broader problem, but any plans the two of them had went interrupted and unsaid… which means they possibly HAVE plans in play already which they wanted to help discuss with Kanaya and Jade but were interrupted before they could describe.  The Plot Point is happening over in Candy’s timeline… and if it’s a story that Callie is writing, that could mean that Original Calliope’s plan to save the Meat timeline, a plan appropriately assisted and thought up in part by Roxy the Rogue of Void from BOTH TIMELINES, is the way Calliope is WRITING INTO EXISTENCE an action that will influence Canon from within (Candy) of crucial importance that both Dirk and alt!Calliope are discounting!!!!

Roxy's comment on how he thought new overgrown house wasn't as ugly as alt!Calliope saw it— as a Void player, just how he thinks the and finds Calliope cute where those not infatuated with the unusual and absurd and impossible might write the cherub off as monstrous— was a thematically appropriate expression of the idea that ROXY DOESN’T HATE THESE NEW STORIES WE'RE READING.  The Epilogues and Homestuck^2 seem grotesque and sprawling to many readers and characters from a perspective on the outside, which perhaps ISN’T STRANGE or unjustified for them to think!  But as an appreciator of the Void, Roxy still finds beauty in it just as he finds beauty in what everyone else thinks of as shitty or silly or disturbing.  For both gender-fluid parts of Roxy on the inside and outside of Canon to work with the original, oft-discounted Callie to make all external fanfiction essential to the nature of reality’s existence as the final tie needed to close the loop and allow for both freedom from the competing authors inside Canon and even TRUER freedom and survival for the timelines OUTSIDE CANON, is the truest plan to this story’s meaning and themes beyond even what alt!Calliope has planned and beyond what Dirk Strider can stop, giving life to the timelines outside the Breach in ways both aspiring narrative-hijacking authors deemed unimportant and useless, and helping prove that they don’t have to be Canon to matter, once and for all.  To grow the sprawling, splitting house into a beautiful tree with two branches of promise, the canon resolution versus the unbound infinity of possibility.  Lord English’s flashing colors that AL inherited also represent her flexing her LORDSHIP OVER THE CANON TIMELINE, that intoxicating and toxic control that trapped the characters before and is trapping them back in the story now, and Roxy and Callie’s plan to bridge Canon with Non-Canon is like the ultimate refutation of that power.

(Does Terezi’s role as contest judge have an important role in the rules of the game of Sburb’s creation that will have the characters balanced at the fulcrum of disparate wills, and/or even the criteria determining the Heroic and Just death of god-tier players encoded into the very game itself?  Does her caliginous fling with Rose represent some clue as to the game’s relationship with the Horrorterrors in allegory?  Hmm…)

I've also thought about how due to his writing style and nature and the havoc he's already proved more than willing to wreak in the Epilogues, Dirk is going to try to cause the characters serious pain.  The Candy side of things has shown that even in their own before the timeline split, what the characters have gone through hasn’t been without a great deal of emotional pain themselves, though Jade seems to have suffered more than we thought in (Candy) proving that the extracanon storyline knows how to be serious when it needs to be, and did so masterfully.  Jade feeling so trapped by her Godhood that Yiffy’s birth was literally her only escape was rendered chillingly in that panel with the shadowy hands reaching out for her, enough to haunt me with her hopelessness after the fact once I was through the high of active liveblogging for the day, and I hope that after all she’s just divulged that Candy Jade can find a new way and learn to BE HAPPY FOR HERSELF too… although on top of everything, on a plot note instead of a character note, I forgot to acknowledge that the way she says Yiffy is the future (Time stuff aside) is very much in line with Yiffy and the others being the heroes of their own universe-creating session soon enough, perhaps even only at the very end of the story to demonstrate the path to the unknown multitude of futures outside of canon unfolding wherever the fans might take them.  Beautiful.

But it does make me afraid, too… afraid both on the Meat and Candy sides, Meat especially, of **who is going to DIE.**. Because this isn’t going to end without at least a few god-tier characters dying or getting soul-trapped or some other cruel fate, especially Davebot’s likely choice at self-sacrifice, but others too, possibly even one of our Jades like Candy Jade if we’re really, REALLY unlucky… except there is one more wildcard to be contended with, one last wrench in the works to wrestle a happy ending out of the dark story Dirk Strider is trying to write.

And that is the three copies of the Ring of Life in play.  Two of which are in the hands of versions of Callie… who might be willing, their stories written, to finalize their ultimate roles as the Muses who bring happiness to all of their favorite characters for the rest of their time, by giving up any of their Rings of Life to bring back someone who has passed on from the story… like the taxidermied Dave from Jade’s sylladex in Candy to bring him back to meet Karkat again and rescue that piece of Davebot back when Davebot thinks his sacrifice is finally made and over, or like John’s corpse in Terezi’s wallet still waiting for resurrection, or any other character who might die too in the upcoming struggle who deserves a second chance… although for the most part side from those who deserve it, I think Homestuck^2 is aiming for an even less traumatizing ending than the original Homestuck, and a future of promise where the rest of them don’t have to suffer as much.  Rosebot and her Ultimate Nature are thwarted and/or sacrificed to create the Game, but Rose’s life-support body is saved for Kanaya to finally have her back after they were unjustly torn apart by the Prince of Heart’s manipulation and lies and power.  John is given an opportunity to find happiness living as Nune that he was never able to before.  (Candy) and it’s Earth survive, and become a starting ground for the expansion of new realities no longer trapped in the Cherubs’ (LE and AL) or Dirk’s or Andrew’s stories, and in fact *Callie herself* by giving up her Rings, the author of (Candy), is the symbolic Death of the Author used to finally free them, one last tragic self-sacrifice that she knows she’ll be happy with because of the infinity of unbound stories, fanmade and otherwise, that the characters outside Canon are now fully free to make for themselves from the initial bedrock of her Fanfic brought to life, allowing her to finally step out of the way and infuse it with life via the Plot Point to allow it to bloom ON ITS OWN into whatever futures it may without her intervention.  Tragic and beautiful, but in a way that would allow Callie to die truly happy knowing the wonderful possibilities she created for all of her favorite friends.

I might tear up a bit!  But it’s only a possibility, right?  Yeah… only a possibility.  The rings sitting in Callie’s hands, waiting for her to take off to repay the Life that was so graciously given back to her by Roxy after her death at her brother’s hands, as thanks and out of pure love for everyone she’s ever written a story about.  A better and more honest and just author than either AL or Dirk.  The story’s last martyr.  :’C

Dave's taxidermied corpse being in Jade's sylladex is a serious promise of hope for the happiness of those in the Candy timeline, no matter which way you look at it, even if Jade and Dave's relationship is toast. If Dave is resurrected at the end of Candy from his taxidermied corpse… perhaps it’s to have a potential future with Karkat or June instead, while Jade — long after having confessed her real feelings as we just recently witnessed, and after even more heart to hearts — finally might find love again by dating Rose and Kanaya? What a self-indulgent potential future… but what would (Candy) be without a little self-indulgence?

(Side question I’m pondering, who **IS** Aradia ACTUALLY dating as was implied?  It can’t still be Candy Sollux right, she can’t go back to him through the Black Hole Barrier even by rewinding her personal timeline can she?  So it has to be another “he” we aren’t acquainted with, or don’t realize we’re acquainted with, who she capriciously visits whenever she wants to……)

Okay let’s get back to the story and distract ourselves with the lore and speculation inevitably born by their choices of new alien races.

Oh my gosh it just caught up to me that Homestuck^2 isn’t anywhere near over just yet, and when I catch up it’ll still be in the middle of things and I’ll be waiting on upd8s to liveblog them.  That’s going to be torture after the joys of all this bingeing.  XD  And there is so much author and artist commentary I’ll have to at least skim in the bonus material, especially the author commentary for that AMAZING HEART WRENCHING SCENE of Jade confessing her insecurities and her hatred of her Godhood and how Yiffy is the only thing she feels like she’s done that she can be proud of since coming to Earth C…!!!!  Holy SHIT I NEED CANDY JADE TO FIND MORE HAPPINESS THAN THAT, I’m starting to get some of my old “Jade has been through too much trauma” trauma bubbling back up and I have to fight it back down because I JUST KNOW they have to do right by her this time, I KNOW IT, she was screwed too hard in Homestuck original and put through too much pain, screwed too hard and put through too much pain in the Epilogues, is finally FINALLY VENTING all of her pain to her friends so it can FINALLY BE RESOLVED AND SHE CAN FIND COMPASSION for her insecurities, and… and god I can’t wait for Hade to be happy but the story isn’t finished yet, I hope the path to happiness for EVERY VERSION OF HER becomes clearer than ever to me soon enough!!!!!

But I’m enjoying the story too much, I’m one of the readers who dragged them back into the spotlight with my need to know what would have happened to them, and I will absolutely enjoy the SHIT out of this winding journey they’re in because it keeps getting better and better and mixing comedy and pain in the perfect cathartic blend and giving me theories to chew on and I can’t help myself, this is the exact same narcotic thrill I got from the original Homestuck and I’m finally confident again that it is and will continue to AMAZE and satisfy me.  I’m so excited despite the butterflies in my stomach.  SO EXCITED.  Excited for everything but the alien races this piece of trash is about to show us, in fact...

(MIDNIGHT PHONE TYPING ENDED ABOVE)

To continue with more stuff I thought about since last night, just this morning... (Candy)'s Rose Lalonde last time was clearly dipping into some of the complacent thoughts of her Ultimate Self, of which she is a part, and I'm glad Jade's confession of her feelings is going to serve in part to begin shaking her out of, though it will take more talks and some time. Oh, and also the Red Flickering that Vrissy and Harry saw may have been the battle alert and not Yiffy setting everything on fire, but... I'm pretty sure Yiffy is setting things on fire after what she just witnessed. There is no possible version of the gleefully-malicious-toward-the-proud-and-neglectful Yiffy that we saw sneak into that vent who wouldn't have been EXTREMELY disturbed by her mother's honest confession, more than enough for her to start breaking things. In fact with her black dog-ears and tail giving her a slight resemblance to Bec Noir, perhaps we should view her destructiveness as in part a reflection of Spades Slick's somewhat similar attitudes to her? Although Yiffy's attitudes are MUCH more based focused on the abuse of power of the proud and laying that hypocrisy low, a very political sort of view against the whims of the Gods and Goddesses that has been sorely lacking as anything but an undertone in these stories so far and SORELY NEEDED a voice serving to deliver it as an overtone instead of an undertone, to speak to the inherent JUSTICE of Just deaths and object like Jasprosesprite^2 was doing to canon President Crocker on the way the denizens of the world and universe deserve to determine the direction of its future more than its celebrity creators.

Oh gosh these are still new thoughts I'm writing this morning, not last night like I'm still dreading how the commentary on that AMAZING scene with Jade confessing the feelings she had behind choosing to have Yiffy and the toxic attitude Rose was taking and the attitudes behind it is going to be something I'll need to read and comment on... that moment as amazing as it was is becoming retroactively a little more painful for me to scrutinize but I won't let that control me. I'll charge ahead right back through to Candy if I have to and fill my thoughts on Candy's last left-off goings-on with FRESHER thoughts on the goings-on in that timeline continuing, even if I don't have time to get all the way forward to where commands are in different sorts of brackets yet that I glimpsed at the beginning of the log accidentally from time to time from the most recent updates.

Let's get back to business. I'm not at 100% capacity right now but I need to make some progress forward, I'll do what I can until I start noticing I'm missing things or out of mental energy to think clearly (because of the rocky sleep I had needing to fast despite my stomach condition only for my medical scan to get cancelled by insurance at literally the last minute), and then get some makeup midday sleep and come back to it. I've still got enough in me for a few pages though, and once I've napped I'll doubtless want to do more later today!

==>

Holy fucking shit. That is... I mean I guess that is "A LOOK" for poor Terezi here. The lankiness, adult-style curves and clothes... augh. It doesn't suit her very well, at least maybe because she isn't grinning and she's wearing the AWFUL suspenders outfit Dirk tricked her into Lil-Cal-ing it up in, but... bluh. Maybe it'll look better with one of her wicked grins on soon.

Now all that remains is to- TEREZI: D1RK Ahem. All that remains is to- TEREZI: *D1RK* Sign. DIRK: What. TEREZI: YOU 4R3 DO1NG TH3 TH1NG, *4G41N* TEREZI: 4ND WH4TS WORS3 1S TH4T 1NST34D OF 4T L34ST H4V1NG TH3 D3C3NCY TO SPOUT OFF 4BOUT SOM3TH1NG N3W OR 1NT3R3ST1NG TEREZI: YOU H4V3 1NST34D CHOS3N TO W4T3RBO4RD TH3 R4W N3UR4L T1SSU3 OF MY TH1NKP4N W1TH 4N 4CR1D 4ND SUP3RFLUOUSLY OV3RC4RBON4T3D N4RR4T1V3 R3C4P DUMP DIRK: Well, it's a recap for *you*. DIRK: But for those who haven't checked in on us in a while, it's more of a stage-setting thing. TEREZI: 1TS B4S1C4LLY 4 R3C4P FOR TH3M TOO, 1D1OT TEREZI: YOUR 1N4B1L1TY TO SHUT UP 3V3N 4S YOU 4CT1V3LY CH4MP1ON TH3 N33D TO G3T TH1NGS MOV1NG WOULD B3 4LMOST 4W3-1NSP1R1NG 1F 1T W4SNT SO 4STOUND1NGLY OBNOX1OUS

Yeah all told, it felt a little soon for a recap, but it HAS been a couple years since most of the events he was describing after that HS^2 authorswap megapause!

Terezi, as you can tell, is still decidedly less enthusiastic about this whole shindig. Maybe she's feeling a bit unheard and insignificant confronted with the reality-shaking splendor of two gods deep in their genesis bags and with little time to entertain her trivial mortal misgivings. Maybe the magnificent gravity of this is lost on her entirely, as she seems to spend all her effort these days avoidantly trudging through a mire of self-pity and principles deadlock, instead of getting into the fucking spirit of the moment a little bit and appreciating not only the opening lines of a stupendously important chapter in the history of Fucking Everything, but her privileged role in it. Maybe she'd prefer we just in-media-res'd this shit and skipped right t-

Dirk is more smug and shitbag and like his part-Doc-Scratch portion of his soul by the passing minute, except less charming.

TEREZI: Y3S, YOU P3TTY V1ND1CT1V3 J3RK, 1 WOULD V4STLY PR3F3R TH4T TEREZI: 3SP3C14LLY G1V3N TH4T 1T 1S SOM3TH1NG YOU 3XPL1C1TLY PROM1S3D M3 TH4T W3 WOULD B3 4BL3 TO DO DIRK: And we will. DIRK: After Rose and I release our progeny into the Deltritus wilds, the three of us are going to timeskip forward ten thousand years or so, so that we don't have to sit around twiddling our thumbs like assholes and waiting for our respective species to become sufficiently advanced. DIRK: Even I'm not so much of a micromanager that I'd be able to keep myself entertained for millennia with only Deltritus to play with. DIRK: Nobody has the patience for that. DIRK: Besides, we have other important shit to get to. DIRK: Also, you'd probably die of old age.

That makes plenty of sense... though it also means that except for perhaps for what Rose's Seer of Light vision shows her without his knowledge, their species might evolve to coharmonize or even interbreed in ways they hadn't expected, even with Dirk's narrative powers trying to control the outcome...? (Again half-predicting their unique traits get smoothed out to turn them into the White and Black Chess People here or something.)

TEREZI: 1M 4BOUT TO D13 OF BOR3DOM *R1GHT NOW* TEREZI: SO 1F YOUR3 F1N1SH3D MONOLOGU1NG 4ND L3CTUR1NG 4ND G3N3R4LLY B31NG 4 S3LF-S4T1SF13D P4PR1K4 PR1CK TEREZI: 1TD B3 GR4ND OF YOU TO DROP YOUR K1DS OFF 4T TH3 D4WN OF TH31R C1V1L1Z4T1ONS, F1R3 UP YOUR BULLSH1T M4CH1N3, 4ND L4UNCH US TO TH3 B3G1NN1NG OF TH3 N3W S3SS1ON L1CK3TY-SP1T DIRK: It's "lickety-split". Yuck.

That'd be pretty nice, please! Get this show on the road!! (So we can get back over to Candy!)

DIRK: Anyway, I'm pretty much done monologuing, but I've got a bit more lecturing and self-satisfied paprika prickery in me, so you're going to have to sit tight for a bit longer. TEREZI: BL3GH DIRK: Don't you BL3GH me. DIRK: You think you can just roll up to my grand commencement speech and interrupt my triumphant expository flex-sesh without taking some of the heat? DIRK: Lest you forget, you've actually got a pretty important role to play in all this.

Oh? How is Terezi actually going to be DOING the judging and such?

DIRK: Taking up the helm at the command terminal, guiding the Deltritan civilizations slowly but surely towards the Game. DIRK: A role Rose tells me you've chosen to automate. TEREZI: Y3P DIRK: ... TEREZI: ... DIRK: ... TEREZI: WH4T >:[

Excuse me, automate? AUTOMATE???!??

Did Terezi create an immortal auto-responder-like AI CLONE of herself like Dirk did in his youth which might subsequently be corrupted or co-opted into serving the judgment/balance role for all future sessions?????

==>

Oh Terezi has learned to fucking HATE this dude even more than before.

DIRK: It's just a little disappointing, is all. DIRK: Rose and I put so much work into whipping up some zany, adorable, kind of fucked up little dudes. DIRK: The least you could do is attempt to give a shit about how they turn out. DIRK: Or was all that hand-wringing about how worried you were that Rose and I were becoming big bad cosmic tyrants with no regard for the poor little mortals buffeted to and fro by the vicious momentum of our designs just virtue signaling? DIRK: Or worse... foreplay? DIRK: Wow. DIRK: Pretty low, Terezi. DIRK: I expected a lot better of you.

Why would Terezi even TRY to control these two, when she knows full well that thanks to Dirk overembracing his role and his ultimate narrative powers and smoothing out any of Rose's moral qualms and objections, he's already proven that he won't let ANY JUDGE control him in any way?

Why not standardize the process of Sburb tempting its players to inevitably play the way it always naturally ended up doing in every subsequent instance?

TEREZI: TH4T JOK3Y-BUT-NOT-R34LLY F4M1L14L GU1LT-TR1P MOOSH1T M4N3UV3R M1GHT WORK ON ROS3 DIRK: It doesn't. TEREZI: BUT 1T DO3SNT M34N SH1T TO M3 DIRK: It does. DIRK: Not that I needed to bust it out for you. DIRK: I know you wouldn't just abandon the Deltritans to the cruel march of time and whatever scant preparation you imagine we gave them. DIRK: You don't trust Rose or I to give enough of a fuck about them, and despite your occasional protestations, you are, for the most part, too good a person to just turn your back on them and let whatever happens happens. DIRK: I trust that the automated suggestions you put in place, and the conditional map that prompts them, were thought through with an honestly touching amount of care, considering your misgivings.

This makes it seem even more as if she's ended up making a core component of the way Sburb/Sgrub works in the first place, intentionally or no.

DIRK: There's no doubt in my mind that even if Rose and I hadn't already basically knocked this creationism shit out of the park, the sons and/or daughters of Deltritus would make it to the Game just fine with even the barest phantom of your counsel.

DIRK: That's why I'm allowing you to do this at all. TEREZI: 1 DONT N33D YOUR P3RM1SS1ON Wrong. TEREZI: OH FUCK YOU DIRK: And for the record, you're also wrong in your assertion that we don't care about them. DIRK: We do. DIRK: I do, at any rate. TEREZI: Y34H YOUR P4T3RN4L G3N3ROS1TY KNOWS NO BOUNDS TEREZI: 4NYON3 WOULD B3 GR4T3FUL TO H4V3 4 B3N3VOL3NT CR34TOR L1K3 YOU TEREZI: ON3 TH4TLL ULT1M4T3LY 3NSUR3 TH31R 3NT1R3 PL4N3T 1S ORB1T4LLY BOMB4RD3D 4ND TH31R SP3C13S 4LL BUT DR1V3N 3XT1NCT S4V3 FOR 4 F3W "LUCKY" JUV3N1L3S DIRK: That's just how this shit goes down for species *lucky* enough to fucking *matter*, Terezi. DIRK: Circle of life. Hakuna Matata. Que sera, sera. DIRK: And you know it.

Terezi is objecting to the very injustice in the STRUCTURE of Sburb here, essentially! To the canon system of universe creation itself and the demands it puts on species and players, the annihilation and threat it poses as payment for the creation of a universe! In ways that reinforce my theory at the beginning of the post and a bit in my previous blogpost that the Orchids versus Mistletoe metaphor is going to be extremely important in differentiating how Universe-Creating Game Sessions work OUTSIDE of Canon as opposed to INSIDE, that there's a better way of doing them that is less traumatic and ruinous than Dirk-- and for that matter, initially, Andrew-- believed the plot demanded, and perhaps DID demand, but is no longer NECESSARY for those who have escaped the brutal confines of "Story" itself and its necessary conflicts, outside the fabric of Paradox Space.

DIRK: Originally, the plan was to pop in every couple hundred years to check on the Deltritan races' progress and to give you a bit of time to guide them manually. DIRK: Which I maintain would have been pretty fun, and would encourage you (probably fruitlessly) to consider giving a go. DIRK: But hey, you say you aren't feeling it? DIRK: Fine. DIRK: I can make concessions. DIRK: I've got other agents in play, and as I've said, I know you aren't going to risk fucking your end of the work up.

Other agents in play? Did he create servants like the Midnight Crew or Felt to do his bidding that those who arrive at Deltritus and its session will need to contend with?

TEREZI: HOW C4N YOU B3 SUR3 TEREZI: M4YB3 3XT3ND3D PROX1M1TY TO STR1LOND3 D3LUS1ONS OF GR4ND3UR H4S DR1V3N M3 TO TH3 BR34K1NG PO1NT TEREZI: M4YB3 1M JUST L4Y1NG LOW TEREZI: 34RN1NG YOUR TRUST SO 1 C4N COMPL3T3LY RU1N YOUR PL4NS FOR 4NOTH3R S3SS1ON TEREZI: DO1NG 4LL 1 C4N TO TURN SK414S 4TT3NT1ON 3LS3WH3R3 4ND D1SQU4L1FY TH1S PL4N3T 4S 4 C4ND1D4T3 TEREZI: NOT ONLY TO PROT3CT TH3 UNTOLD M1LL1ONS OF FUTUR3 D3LTR1T4NS YOU PL4N TO PULV3R1Z3 TEREZI: BUT 4LSO FOR TH3 S4T1SF4CT1ON OF SH4TT3R1NG TH4T STO1C D34DP4N OF YOURS TEREZI: 1F JUST FOR ON3 D3L1C1OUS MOM3NT

Sburb code already exists on the planet; they confirmed it before they landed, at the end of the Epilogues. It's already too late for the denizens of Deltritus unless they have only one dead session, and that seems unlikely. Plus, that isn't Terezi's plan, either. Whatever she plans for John's corpse, or for making this right, it's likely after getting into or involved with the active session with these beings somehow. And she knows that if she WANTED to try and stop Dirk from murdering the civilizations they're creating for the sake of a session, she couldn't. She's just voicing her frustrations, really, about what she knows she can't do-- an Injustice that for the moment she has no ability to stop.

Her views on Justice have evolved, to the point where she'll likely be able to pontificate at least a little bit on the way Sburb ITSELF views Justice as they create the first ever reproductive session and the way it works.

==>

Ugh, this framing showing him throwing his power and influence around is so unsettling and disgusting, it's perfect.

DIRK: Must feel pretty good to imagine, huh? DIRK: But you won't. DIRK: I'm sure, Terezi, because if you did, I'd just have to take you out of the picture and start again. DIRK: Not that you value your own life that much right now, though you really should, but you and I both know you aren't here because I need you. DIRK: You're here because you need me. DIRK: You need this session to happen. DIRK: You need a chance to fix the mistake you've got in that wallet, burning a hole through your pocket.

Ah yep, it's not just how I said, but he KNOWS it's just how I said.

DIRK: You've made a lot of those, Terezi, but you know that besides being important, what we're doing here is a chance to rectify one of them. DIRK: And you aren't going to let that chance slip. TEREZI: ... DIRK: I know what it's like to make hard choices for the people you care about. DIRK: To run your brain raw thinking about how to make things right. DIRK: I've been doing it my whole damn life. DIRK: The choice you're presented with here is pretty fucking easy, and you're a very smart person, so I trust you to make the right decision. DIRK: That's all. I don't really feel like pontificating at you any more. TEREZI: ... TEREZI: GR34T

"Trust" is a loaded word here. Dirk knows Terezi's Heart well enough to "trust" that Terezi will be Terezi. That's not the same as trusting her as a person.

DIRK: We're getting ready to kick this thing off, so all I have left to ask you is DIRK: Do you think you've done everything you need to do to prepare the terminal? DIRK: We're counting on you. DIRK: He's counting on you. TEREZI: Y34H Y34H >:[ TEREZI: 3V3RYTH1NGS S3T UP TEREZI: 1 DONT F33L L1K3 B31NG PONT1F1C4T3D 4T 4NYMOR3 31TH3R SO 1M L34V1NG TEREZI: ONC3 YOU 4ND ROS3 G3T DON3 PH1LOSOPH1Z1NG 34CH OTH3R L3T M3 KNOW SO W3 C4N G3T TH1S BULLSH1T T1M3SK1P OV3R 4ND DON3 W1TH TEREZI: 1LL B3 1N MY FUCK1NG CH4MB3RS DIRK: These are shared chambers, but whatever.

Alright, looks like all we need is a talk with Rose Lalonde bot and we'll probably get this show on the road. Plus we'll get to view her "adult" bot art too likely enough.

==>

*angry brush past bunp*

Strilondes: Banter.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT we are approaching Supergiant's Hades games levels of godhood art here.

ROSEBOT: Looks like you're getting pretty good at motivational speaking. DIRK: Well someone needed to shake the rust off of her. DIRK: She's getting nerves. DIRK: Right before the big game. DIRK: We're never gonna make it to nationals at this rate. ROSEBOT: Ah, fuck. The sports. ROSEBOT: How quickly I forgot them.

And in so many ways they still haven't frickin' changed. XD

DIRK: There's gotta be some kind of sports penalty, for forgetting the sports. ROSEBOT: Oh, definitely. ROSEBOT: I've been very bad and I need to be punished, to preserve the integrity of the sports. DIRK: Let me just slip into my jackass sports judge mime outfit and get to laying down the fucking sports law. ROSEBOT and DIRK: Let's stop saying sports. DIRK and ROSEBOT: Agreed.

Okay the way that appeared on the page to emphasize that DIRK WAS PROBABLY CONTROLLING HER and/or they were just so similar that they jinxed each other and said the same things at the same time was super creepy and I like it.

DIRK: Speaking of outfits, though, look at you. ROSEBOT: You like it? DIRK: It's chic. DIRK: I dig the return of the hood. DIRK: You could deliver a whole hell of a lot of cryptic prophecies out from under that sucker. ROSEBOT: Yes, well, I figured that if I'm to appear before our chosen peoples as a harbinger of their simultaneous doom and salvation, I may as well look the part.

Damned good looking and very appropriately dramatic, yes.

Okay I know this was short, but you at least have my midnight pontifications and post-pontifications up top, so I'm going to pause here to nap and recover some mental energy before I get back to the reveal of these final civilizations we're presumably getting in-medias-res as promised or what have you. So I'm posting this very short liveblog post now but you can likely expect MUCH more in the afternoon/evening unless I indicate otherwise.

[thatfanficstuff]

Open Wounds - 24

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Soulmate!Reader

Warnings: not really

A/N: I didn't even read through this. Sorry. One more chapter for this one.

You were curled up on your bed with your head in your dad’s lap while the two of you talked. Your time with him was coming to an end and you were spending every moment you could with him. He kept playing with your hair reminding you of when you were much younger and he’d done it to calm you when you’d had a bad day.

Bucky was off training with Steve and making the arrangements needed for him to take an indefinite amount of time off. You’d both be available if needed but you needed to recuperate and  build yourself back up and you needed your soulmate with you to do it properly.

A soft knock on the door interrupted your conversation. Clint stepped into the room with a soft smile. “How you doing, sweetheart? You look better.”

“Feeling better.” You bit your lip in thought before clearing your throat. “Can I…” Your voice faltered though you didn’t know why. Clint was unlikely to refuse you. “The farm. Can Bucky and I go for awhile?”

He sat on the edge of the bed and rested a hand on your arm. His nod encompassed his whole being as a smile lit his face. “You don’t have to ask,” he said. “It’s your home. You’re always welcome there.”

Once you’d gone over some of the details with him, he left you alone with Phil once more. It didn’t take long for him to clear his throat to break the silence. “I’m glad you’re heading to the farm. It’s time for me to return to my team. I was worried about leaving you.”

You reached up to take his hand in yours, squeezing it in acknowledgment. “I’ll be okay. They had months to get into my head. It’s gonna take a bit for me to get them out, that’s all.”

“I know, sweetheart. You’ll get there.” He ran his thumb over your fingers. “I put my number in your phone under ‘Senior’ if you need me.”

You snorted at the nod to Tony’s nickname for you. “I’ll always need you.”

“Good,” he said. “Don’t save all the calls for when you’re in trouble.”

He stayed with you until Bucky returned. You stood with your dad and gave him a lingering hug. Finally, he kissed your head and pulled away. “I love you, baby. Be good. Be happy.”

You watched him leave, your eyes burning with threatening tears. Having him leave so soon after getting him back hurt more than you’d anticipated.

Bucky wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into his chest. “You okay?”

You hummed with a nod. “I’ll be fine. He’s just heading back to his team. I’ll miss him. That’s all.”

He didn’t say anything to try to make you feel better. Instead, he just held you, lending you his silent comfort.

You took another week to say your goodbyes to everyone. You didn’t know how long you were going to be gone and you weren’t about to invite any of them to the farm. For one, it wasn’t your place. For another, it wouldn’t be much of a refuge if everyone knew where it was.

Clint had offered to fly the two of you out, but you and Bucky decided to drive. You played tourist along the way and let yourself unwind. Sometimes you’d drive for hours without stopping and others you’d hole up in a hotel room for a couple of days with your soulmate. For the first time in your life, you had no agenda. No need to keep busy, to keep to a schedule.

Almost two weeks after you left the city, you arrived at the farm. The gravel crunched beneath the tires of the car as it rolled to a halt, pebbles spitting in its wake. Stepping out of the car, you closed your eyes and took a deep breath. Tension flowed from you as you inhaled the familiar odors of home. It had been too long.

“Wow,” Bucky said as he came to stand beside you. “This is exactly what I picture when I think farmhouse.”

You snorted a laugh and turned to him with a smile. “Isn’t it though? I’m surprised we haven’t been swarmed by Bartons yet.” Laura and the kids must be out. You kept your gaze on the house in front of you while you gestured off to the left. “That’s my place over there.” Clint had built a little cabin on his land just for you, though you had been known to share with Natasha on occasion.

“Looks like you’ve got company, baby.” Amusement colored his words.

You turned toward your little piece of heaven and grinned at the sight that greeted you. Clint was there, leaning against your porch rail with his arms crossed over his chest, a soft smile curling his lips.

“Thought you might like some backup,” he said as you approached, his voice low and sure.

You paused before you reached him. This man, your family, he’d stepped away from his world of chaos to help stabilize yours. He wasn’t here out of some sense of obligation but because he’d never failed to love and support you when you needed it most.

You closed the distance and pulled him into a hug. “Thank you,” you murmured, meaning it for everything. For coming, for staying, for simply being there.

He kissed your temple. “Always.”

“Can we come out now?” A young voice called and you pulled back with a laugh.

A glance at the door showed the two oldest Barton children pressed against the screen. Laura stood behind them with a smile on her face and little Nathaniel in her arms. You opened your arms in invitation and your favorite kids burst through the door.

Cooper reached your first, slamming into you and wrapping his arms around your waist. “Aunt Nikki, we missed you.”

Lila hugged your legs on your other side. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

You wrapped your arms around them and just enjoyed their selfless love for a moment. Laura made her way to you at a much slower pace and leaned over her children to give you a one-handed hug. “I’m so glad you’re home,” she said in a low voice, making you hug her tightly, being careful not to crush your youngest nephew.

When you released her, you quickly wiped away the tears under your eyes as you turned to Bucky as best you could with the kids still clinging to you. “Bartons, this is Bucky. My soulmate.”

“Really?” Lila gasped before instantly letting go and hurrying over to Buck. She held out a hand. “I’m Lila. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” All the adults smiled but bit back a laugh at her formal greeting.

Bucky bent over and took her hand in his. “The pleasure is mine.”

It took only about ten seconds for Lila to abandon the handshake and hug his legs instead.

Cooper wandered over but kept his distance. “I’m Cooper and that’s Nathaniel,” he said with a lazy wave toward his brother that was currently being passed over to you. You balanced the toddler on your hip. Bucky’s gaze softened as it moved between you and the child in your arms.

“I’m Laura,” the woman beside you introduced herself with a nod and a smile. Clint stepped up behind her and looped his arms around her waist. Once Buck returned her greeting, she looked back to you. “We aired it out and stocked you up on food. There’s a pot of stew on the stove.”

Warmth filled you at the display of love from your family. “You didn’t need to do all that, but thank you.”

“Sure we did. Well, we’ll get out of your hair and let you get settled.” She put her hands out for Nathaniel and you turned so she couldn’t reach him.

“Knowing you there’s enough stew for a week. You can get out of our hair after dinner.” You didn’t wait for a response as you walked into the house knowing the others would follow along soon enough.

A chill hung in the early morning air as you stood in living room of the farmhouse. A bleary Clint stepped into the room and said your name in confusion. With cold, lethal precision you ended his life in a blink. You barely twitched as you stared at the body at your feet. Moving swiftly through the house, you eliminated Laura next before moving onto the children. They didn’t even wake as you drove a blade into the back of their skulls.

Little Nathaniel was the last. You found him awake and playing in his crib. Arms reached for you as he garbled a version of your name. You stood in the doorway, fighting against the programming Hydra embedded in your brain. You were merely a passenger in your body as you picked up the little body and broke his neck before dropping him back into his bed.

A jolt of terror ripped you from the clutches of the nightmare, your breathing ragged and body covered in a sheen of cold sweat. The room was dark, quiet and far more peaceful than the scene that tortured you in your brain. Pulse racing, you tossed the covers aside and scrambled from the bed.

You grabbed one of the suitcases you’d just unpacked and started throwing clothes into it. Steady hands landed on your arms, stopping your frantic movements. “Easy,” came  Bucky’s sleep worn voice. He kissed the side of your neck. “What’s wrong, baby? What are you doing?”

“We have to leave,” you announced pulling away from him. “We shouldn’t have come here.”

Your chest heaved as you struggled against the chains that seemed to have tightened around your heart. Warm arms wrapped around you before you were lifted and carried backward to the bed. A moment later you found yourself sitting on the edge of the bed with Bucky knelt in front of you.

He laid his hand along the side of your face and traced his thumb along your cheek. “Focus on me, baby. Inhale. Exhale. I’ve got you.”

You matched your breathing to his. As the frantic beating of your heart slowed, so did your scrambled thoughts. You wrapped your arms around him, clinging to him as if he was the only thing that could save you. He held you back, whispering calming words and pressing soft kisses to your head.

When you finally sat back and wiped the remnants of tears from your eyes with trembling hands, he stayed on his knees looking you over with a furrowed brow and worried eyes. “You ready to talk?”

You swallowed the lump in your throat. “I killed all of them. Even the baby. I couldn’t stop.”

His hands squeezed your knees gently. “Who are you talking about, baby?”

You closed your eyes and dropped your head. “Clint, Laura, the kids. It was a dream. I know it was but…What if it was more than that? What if I can’t fight what they did to me, what they put in my brain?”

Bucky hooked a finger under your chin and lifted your head. “Look at me,” he said when you didn’t open your eyes. Once you’d done as instructed, he placed his hand back on your cheek. “You’re not theirs. You’re here with me. You’re safe. You’re stronger than them.”

Your breath hitched. “Am I?”

He gave you a lopsided smile. “Strongest person I know.”

“Sure that’s not Banner?”

“Smartass,” he murmured before he hooked a hand around the back of your neck and pulled you to him for a quick but firm kiss to the lips. He rested his forehead against yours. “I know better than anyone what Hydra does to you. How they get inside and eat away at everything that makes you you. You’d never hurt your family. If I thought there was any chance I’d take you away from here in a minute.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.” He kissed your forehead then stood. He took your hand and pulled you to your feet before looping his arms around your waist. “You and me together can defeat anything. Even our own demons. Let’s go back to sleep, baby. Everything will look better in the morning.”

You let him get you settled under the covers and relaxed against him when he pulled you into his arms. Maybe he was right and in the light of day your life wouldn’t look fucked up. If it was, at least you and Buck could be fucked up together. With the thought you’d never be alone again with him by your side, you drifted back to sleep and didn’t wake until the late morning rays of sunlight fell across the bed.

[gayratguy]

Prank War

Request for @justcockyideas

I felt a buzz from my phone while I was playing video games on my computer when I saw my roommate had sent me a picture. I had been living with Logan for a little while now and despite him being straight, he loved to tease me by sending me thirst traps and walking around nude with his thick dick swinging around. I protested but both of us knew I liked it and that’s what got him going that he had such control over me. I unlocked my phone and saw that he had sent me a picture of himself saying, “It’s gonna be hard for you top this one bud say hi to your faggy boyfriend, remember dude you get 24 hours to one up this or I’m going to reunite you two between my legs.” My heart sank, Logan and I had been having a prank war where whoever lost would have to become the other one’s dick indefinitely. My boyfriend though was not in on this so Logan could theoretically just keep him like that. I quickly tried to figure something out. Maybe you could cock his dad or maybe his brother? I dont think he would care enough for that to be enough. I kept trying to figure something out when Logan got home, got naked and walked into my room laughing as his now 9 inch cock swayed there throbbing as precum dripped onto my carpet. He proceeded to heckle me for the rest of the night distracting me from planning anything. 24 hours rolled around and I hadn’t done anything worthy or saving myself from getting cocked. “Well dude seems like you couldn’t resist becoming dickmeat huh.” I got undressed knowing what was next. I presented my ass to him. He spat on his dick and began to fuck me slow making me feel every inch of the dick that my boyfriend improved and the one I will be assimilated into. I began rocking with him as his nerves stretched into me bonding me to his dick. My arms and legs merged unto his shaft and as I felt a pressure start to build as I tasted his cum and as I was orgasming shooting his thick seed all over my bedspread I think I knew that if I really hadn’t wanted this I would’ve tried harder but I think this is what I really wanted when I agreed to that prank war. “Hell yeah man I can already feel you accepting your place as my fat cock now let’s go find someone to stuff you in”

[notetaeker]

found out today that google is full of sh!t PLS PROTECT YOURSELVES

my account got hacked, the hacker changed all my recovery details and now has access to my google drive files, my emails, any photos in google photos, and also the login info to so many websites that use google and there is NO way to get anything back or at least delete the acct.

You would think that google, as a company offering to store and handle so much info and FILES in particular and also passwords and login infos for other websites would have some kind of support for this but no they don't even have a single customer service phone number or any way of recovering anything. I searched around online for solutions but the internet is FILLED with THOUSANDS of ppl with the same concern for YEARS who lost their files, lost their connected youtube accts with thousands of subscribers. I lost access to my yahoo acct too but they had a customer service phone number (paid) but at least they verified my identity and helped me to get access back and secured my account. PSA: DO NOT RELY ON GOOGLE TO SAVE ANYTHING FOR YOU. BACK UP YOUR OWN STUFF ELSEWHERE. If anything goes wrong there is literally 0 recourse - google offers absolutely 0 support:

My only wish now is to be able to at least delete the account so they don't have access to all my info anymore but there is literally no place to go for that so I just have to be okay knowing some evil people indefinitely have 10+ years worth of my private info (emails, files, photos)

PLS learn from my mistake and use this opportunity unentangle yourself from google. They literally. have no recourse if anything goes wrong. It's not like it's impossible: Yahoo literally asked me for my state ID and location to give me access back to my account.

[robynlilyblack]

Something sweet

Part 1

bodyguard! James x fem! maid! reader

Summary: James lands a new long term position for a rich family in the countryside, however he gets lost on his way there and has to ask directions from a mystery girl and her dog, little does he know he'll be working closely with her in the near future

Warnings: swearing, strangers to coworkers to eventual lovers, mentions of past relationships, cheating (neither james or reader), dangerous work environment, eating, food, and sex, first meetings, mutual pining, Alex being his iconic self, Bruce being the best boy

A/n: 4.2k words, day three of my advent calendar is part one of my bodyguard james fic! part 2 may or not be a later day ;) this is all set in a muggle au, James is in his mid 20s and reader her early 20s

Navigation | James Potter Masterlist

James was stopped at the side of the road, engine turned off to save fuel, eyebrows pinched as he checked the directions he was given against the map. He was certain he had gone the right way; he’d never gotten lost for a job…although this job was a little different than the others. 

Usually he was only hired for a few months, a year or two tops, but this one would likely be indefinitely. He wasn’t complaining, though he was never without work he was without a permanent address. You would think seeing the world would be magical, that thrill of seeing something new every day would be exciting, but living in hotels and never settling had slowly taken its toll.

That thrill he once found in it had an expiration date, life became boring as he was never in one place long enough to form any real connections. He still wrote to friends, attended a few of their weddings a year prior, and always made sure to see them every couple of months. Yet it wasn’t enough, hearing them talk about having children and starting families had him earning for it too. He’d tried it twice before but they ended the same, the distance pulling them apart and, on top of that, back then he didn’t exactly take the safest jobs, leading both of his former partners to be in constant worry

They were both married now, he still phoned Lily from time to time and of course he saw Regulus being Sirius’ brother and all. There was no bad blood, the feelings had dissipated yet he envied them just a little for finding their someone, something he’d give anything to have now

“I went down here…and then I remember seeing that school because it was creepy as all feck…so if I go down here…” he extends the syllables as his finger traces the road “...wait” his eyebrows furrow deeper, looking out of his window to see any kind of landmark that can help 

Looking around there was deep forestry on his left, some branches at the bottom still coated in snow as the sun hadn’t melted it just yet, lining the road for as far as he could see and ahead there was a bend that seemed to lead him off towards another deep treeline that looked a lot older, which was promising considering he was told the estate was established in the 15th century. He then turned to his right, seeing a small wall running down the opposite side of the road, it was crumpled in places, the gaps revealing more of the lush frost dew field behind it, shining 

He reaches down the side of the door, rolling the window down gently, it was a crisp morning, but exaggerated by the cars heater making soft wisps appear as its heat hits the outside air. He pokes his head out a little further, trying to spot anyone he could ask for help in order to save himself returning to the farmer from earlier, who despite being a lovely gent was completely incomprehensible with how thick his accent was

Just as he was about to give up, he hears a giggle, hears perking up at the sweet sound, so much, he jolts his head up to see whoever it was over the wall, only to whack it on the doors roof

“Fuck” he groans, rubbing the top of his head, blinking quickly to ensure he didn’t knock out one of his contacts before he quickly scrambles out of the car and across the tarmac, stopping half way to curse again as he runs back over, dipping in the window to grab the map

“Hey!” he waves at the figure as he turns back towards them, jogging across the road and onto the grass verge, gently leaning over the wall

That catches the figure's attention and they turn around to look at him, that's when he sees you. You looked a little shocked to see him, which he’s not surprised at; he hadn't seen any other cars pass by in the time he’d spent stewing away with his map nor the drive up the road. 

The next thing he notices is the dog that companies you eyeing him then looking to you for what he assumes is a command. James figures some farmers daughter, or maybe the daughter of whose estate he was headed too. He hopes for the former as you draw closer, the dogs tail beginning to wag as it follows on behind, gaining a treat on the way for good behaviour

“Can you help me?” he asks, holding up the map “I appear to be a tad lost” he chuckles trying to lighten the mood and let you know he isn’t some weirdo

You still seem nervous yet your shoulders have relaxed, the dog looking more excited now he’s no longer a potential threat. He drinks in your figure as you approach the wall, you look sweet, perfect even in your little bobble hat and scarf, sturdy looking boots at least a size too big adored with thick brown socks poking out at the top, battered jeans littered with old and new paw prints, and finally a woolly jumper under a chunky green parka

“I’m looking for the Roseberry Estate?” he asks when you don’t say anything, trying his best not to smile too much when he looks over the wall and sees your companion staring up at him fondly with big grey eyes that reminded him of an old friend

“Umm” you whisper and he barely hears it, watching as you awkwardly take the map from his hands and shift to the side so he can see it “You’re here” you point to the road and James smiles a little funny, thankful he’s on the right road yet confused as to how he overshot it “You started from the city?” you wonder and he nods, catching your eye for a brief moment before you shy away again towards the map “You’ve accidently taken the long way around, but it’s no harm done, just keep going you’ll find water on your left and look out for the sign, it’ll be on your right. Oh, and if you can’t see the water anymore you’ve gone too far” you tell him quietly with the most charming giggle escaping your lips at the end

He smiles gently re-taking the map, but not folding it up just yet as he traces over the intersection, he made a wrong turn at “So what you’re saying is I managed to get so lost I still ended up where I needed to be” he barks a laugh, thinking of how Remus would dub this with the famous Potter luck as he folds up the map and shoves the map into his back pocket. 

As the paper slips in he feels his suspenders shift, laying uncomfortably on his shoulder, however as he fixes it, he misses the way your eyes fixate on his movements, on his hands, but particularly on the slight reveal of his holster under his fleece lined jacket

“I…umm” his eyes drift back to you, noticing you seem a little flustered and wonders if its for the reasons he’s finding himself hoping for “I need to get going” you slowly step backwards, trying to retreat in such a way he wouldn’t notice and it’s kind of adorable

“Of course, thank you for the help” he smiles and you give him a little nod back “Have a lovely day sweetheart” he adds, earning the smallest of smiles back and an even smaller ‘you too’ before you turn away and walk through the field and up the makeshift path, your dog following along behind, tail wagging happily

James smirks, turning around and checking the road before jogging back to the car quickly. He was freezing, only masking the shivers so he would look tough in front of you that seemed used to this kind of weather. He himself should have been, hell he went to a private school little ways south of here in his youth but years of jet setting from hot country to hotter country had left him shuddering now

After rolling up the window and getting warm again he presses his foot to the clutch and begins to the turn the ignition but stops and curses “Shit, her name” he scolds himself for forgetting “Always ask the pretty girl their name…fuck and the dog…dammit why didn’t we pet the dog” he scolds further, knowing his next letter to Sirius was going to earn a chide reply for the latter

You took your time walking back to the estate, breathing in the mid-morning air and enjoying your down time as you would be working again this afternoon. The ground crunched beneath you, the morning sun hadn’t quite hit the trail just yet and thawed the mud, making it easier to traverse. Not that you nor Bruce would ever complain, he was living his best life, so much that you honestly feared his tail would break with how hard it was wagging

He stops about 40 yards ahead at the corner of the path, turning back to wait on you catching up before going again. You smile at that, giving him a signal as you draw closer, causing him to patter up to your right side, around behind you to slow and walk at your pace on your left side

“Good boy”

Dipping into your pocket you grab a treat, gifting it to him and he takes it sweetly, tongue lapping it up before he picks up his pace and wanders out in front of you again. You adored mornings like this, just you and him, but as you reached the home stretch nerves filled you as you thought of the man you met earlier

He was beyond handsome, too handsome to live around here, a pretty face like his should be seen by the world and not the 50 or so people that lived near or in the estate grounds. He dressed like a tourist too, his shoes too nice for the mud, jacket that was quite clearly bought at the store everyone went to when they first got off the plane, and of course, the car that had no place on roads like this during winter

You weren’t surprised when he asked you where the house was, but the thing that did surprise you was the holster. You assumed he must have been one of the family's friends, as there was a dinner later this evening you would be waiting at. So, it was a shock to realise he must be the new bodyguard, the one other staff were raving about. He just looked too sweet. Sure, he was built like a rugby player with broad shoulders and clear muscles, tall too, but his face, hair, eyes, they were all too kind and soft to be in such a profession

“Happy to be home, boy?” You ask Bruce, scratching his ear as he circles you gleefully and of course he is, as the moment he’s in he gets breakfast

You were happy too, over your time working and living on the estate it had become your home, the fellow staff, your family, however as of this afternoon you would no longer be the new girl, despite holding it for the last 3 years, that would go to that handsome stranger

“Y/n!” Your head shoots up to see your best friend, Alex, waving at you before being greeted by Bruce “Sorry boy, hello to you too” chuckling he crouch’s down to give Bruce a proper hello

“Hey” you say softly as you approach, taking off your scarf and hat as you feel yourself heating up again as you approach the side door “He’s just sucking up so he can get extra you know that right?” you remind your friend and he gives you a pointed look before chuckling

“Let me live in my fantasy sunshine, where I pretend, he loves me and not yesterday's leftover beef, okay?” he pleads and you put your hands up, giggling yourself as you head in, but still making sure to kick the frost and mud from your boots off on the last step before entering

“Was it today the new bodyguard is coming?” you check as you take a seat on one of the small chairs just inside, looking up through the double doors of the smaller east wing kitchen as Bruce comes to sit on the floor in front of you, waiting patiently for Alex to return with food as he wasn’t allowed in there

“Yeah” he confirms, coming back out with two dog bowls, one with food, the other water “You think he’ll last longer than the previous one?” He chuckles, placing the bowls down “Good boy” he grants Bruce permission to feast, which he does so promptly

“Hopefully” you giggle

The position for a new bodyguard has been a cursed one, not for any dangerous reason but for the fact one of the family’s children had a rather scandalous habit of cheating on her husband with every bodyguard they had ever hired. Funnily enough your job had the same curse with one of the families’ sons, however you never let anything happen, simply refusing his advances and he never again passed normal flirting which gained him your respect, and yourself that of the families. 

“I think I met him” you say removing your shoes and fluffy socks, revealing your tight clad feet underneath

“Seriously?” Alex’s eyes light up, smirking as you stand and slip off your coat, humming in confirmation “What’s he like?”

“Handsome” you feel your cheeks heat bending down to pick up the empty food bowl and half drank water bowl before carrying them through into the servants break room “Too handsome” you giggle, placing the water bowl back down with the food one underneath for now

“For real? You sure it wasn’t one of the investors they invited for dinner?” Alex asks, taking a seat on the bench facing away from your locker

“No, I thought that too until I saw his holster” you say, opening your locker and softly taking your freshly pressed uniform out

“Is he prettier than the last ones?” Alex inquires as he begins petting Bruce “Hey bud”

You feel yourself flush “By a mile, younger too, probably mid to late twenties?” you reply smiling as you see Bruce's leg kicks at Alex’s scratches before slipping off your jeans and jumper

“Yeah?” you hum in agreement “You know I can feel the heat from your cheeks…hey!” he chuckles as you shove him gently “You fancy him” he states

“I barely know him; we spoke for all of one minute” you needless defend as you shimmy into your skirt

“That wasn’t a no…oi…she’s such a meany isn’t she Brucey” he earns another playful hit but his attempts to sway Bruce only earn in a funny look “Wow you’ve got him wrapped around your finger” he notes

“I do” you slid your hands into the sleeves of your blouse “Don’t I boy” you lean over Alex’ shoulder to pat Bruce's head, causing him to yip and shuffle foot to foot, arse wiggling excitedly “He…” you climb over the bench and join your friend, beginning to button your shirt as you do “...he called me sweetheart”

“Sweetheart, eh?” he nudges his nose with Bruce’s “You hear that boy? Your gal might have found a new favourite” he says, making the dogs head tilt 

“No” you leave the last few buttons and cup Bruce's face, steering him towards you instead “No one can replace my favourite boy, not even the handsome stranger”

“You replacing me darlin?” 

Yours, Alex and Bruce's heads shoot up to see Patrick Roseberry, the family’s youngest son, ages with you, and your main boss, along with…the handsome stranger from earlier

“Sir” you stand bowing your head a little, cheeks feeling hot as the stranger tilts his head, clearly connecting the dots “No sir I mean…sorry sir” you cringe, cheeks on fire now while Patrick just waves it off with a small chuckle

“Mornin’” Alex nods his head with a small finger salute, standing up casually and earring an amused eyebrow raise from Mr Handsome

“Oh hey there Brucey” Patrick kneels down, petting the dog as he approaches “Y/n and Alex taking good care of you boy?” he wonders

You smile at that; Bruce was originally raised to be a gun dog but never quite had the same drive for the hunt as his brothers and sisters. You still remember the day they realised it wasn’t meant to be; you were helping move new produce into the kitchen while they were out training when a small group of hares ran by. Every dog started to chase them while Bruce sat just watched them, not caring in the slightest, Patrick didn’t want to give him up so he gifted him to yours and Alex’s care 

“Is that his name?” the stranger finally speaks, drawing your eyes and earning a small smirk from him before he kneels down to pet Bruce, who seems very happy to see him again and gain some ear scratches this time now there was no wall in the way

“Oh” Patrick chuckles, standing back up and looking towards you and Alex “This is James Potter, the new bodyguard, I’m giving him the grand tour” 

James? It suits him, you think with a small smile, rocking on your feet as your hands clasp behind your back

“Hi” James looks up, catching your eye once more as he greets you but those fine eyes soon travel down like they did earlier, his smirk widening as he stands up and you suddenly remember the last few buttons

“Sorry” you quickly do them up, turning away slightly as you do

Patrick lets out a small laugh “Sorry darlin, should have knocked first” he cringes, rubbing the back of his neck while his cheeks tint a little while you whisper a small ‘it’s okay’ “We should keep the tour going though, the dinner is in a few hours and I’m sure you wish to get settled and unpack” he tells James as he walks further into the room 

“Sounds good…see ya boy” James whispers the last part to Bruce, giving him one last clap before he watches the dog return to your side 

“This is the staff break room, you’ll spend most of your down time here. Y/n, Alex or one of our older maids will prepare your clothes in the morning so you never need to worry about what to wear, except for our balls, we outsource labour for those so the staff can join in, my grandmother set it up you see…” 

Patrick goes on for a while, explaining some house rules, etiquette, locker assignment and meal times. Alex takes this time to sit back down and pet Bruce before yours and his shift starts and Bruce has to be left on his own. You do the same, your movement catching James’ attention briefly, before he returns to listening and you pull your formal black pumps out from under the bench, slipping them on your feet as you try not to stare too long at James’ arse, those trousers are…snug

“Pervert” Alex whispers and you gasp quietly, gladly not attracting much attention

“Shut up” you hiss back “You’re looking too” you mumble

“Course I am, if he wasn’t already making eyes at you, you don’t think I wouldn’t” he wiggles his eyebrows

“We aren’t making eyes…like I said we literally just met” you defend yourself whilst still stealing glances, eyes a little higher this time, melting at the way the shirt is just that little bit too tight around his biceps and shoulders, the man was perfection

“Exactly, just met and the chemistry is flying…” he whispers back, earning another nudge but that doesn’t stop him or you from continuing to chatter about it whilst you get your little cleaning cart ready 

James notices the bickering, eyes flicking quickly over to you, smiling at the interaction. If he hadn’t heard your statement coming into the room, he might have read yours and Alex’s relationship differently. His pride was a bit higher now than you thought him handsome, more so that you felt the need to tell your friend about it to such a degree you had to assure Bruce he was still your favourite boy

“If you follow me, I’ll show you the security room” his attention is pulled back to Patrick, who’s moving towards the single exit door on the other side 

“Course” James starts to follow but turns back to say goodbye “See you three around” he gives you, Bruce and Alex a wave, but his eyes linger on you a little longer and flashes you a smirk 

As he follows Patrick out, he replays the little smile and nose scrunch that took over your features before you shied away, it was same one from earlier

“I’m glad we ran into Alex and Y/n, you’ll be working with them quite often” Patrick smiles, and James finds himself doing the same “They are based in the east wing, as will you be” 

James hums, eyes tracing over all the portraits and random pieces of decor that were most likely worth more than he’d make in a lifetime, he does avert his eyes at the mounted antlers though, for some reason those always gave him the creeps

“Have they been with you long?” he makes light chit chat, returning his eyes to the man before him

“Alex has been here for about 5 years, he’s ages with you…oh sorry Linsey…on you go” Patrick starts, pushing open one of the large double doors and accidentally startling an older woman, adorned in similar clothing to yourself

James gives the women a small smile, which she returns before giving a small ‘thank you’ to Patrick for holding the door as she passes by before they do the same

“Sorry, what was I saying?” Patrick asks himself, turning back to James before his eyes light up “Oh yeah…Alex is great, you need anything go to him”

“Noted” James nods “What about the girl? Y/n” he prompts casually, trying not to seem too eager

Patrick’s smile widens “Y/n was the last person we hired for a permanent position before you, about…hell, three years ago now” he chuckles “Just down these stairs” he directs and James hums “She’s wonderful, treats everyone, especially Bruce well, beautiful too” he rambles a little and James feels just a twinge of jealousy

“Yeah?” he gives him a look, smirk playing on his lips as Patricks turns back to look at him, palm on the door

His cheeks tint, delaying walking through “I may have fancied her a fair bit in my youth” he confesses taking his hand off of the door, stepping to the side to glance back up the stairwell to check no one was there before continuing “When I was 18, we had a flurry of new maids because I well…” he scratches the back of his neck with an awkward chuckle “...you can imagine, young rich bachelor and all that”

“Course” James nods, remembering a certain friend being the same once upon a time “So why did y/n stick?” he wonders, hoping he wasn’t about to be told you and Patrick were secretly an item back in the day

“She got the job despite having no experience since they assumed she wouldn’t last. I, of course, flirted and she’d get all shy but after I tried to kiss her she…recoiled, then she gave me the sweetest and cutest rejection you’d ever seen” he chuckles, his face clear of any malice as he recalls the memory, in fact James could say the man spoke of it like it was a fond one

James joins him “Speaking of openings, I was surprised there was one going” he gently changes the subject as he had wondered why such a position would be available and on such short notice “What happened to the last one?”

Patrick cringes “As I used to have a thing for the maids, my sister has a thing for the bodyguards” he admits and James’ eyes widen

“Oh” he lets out a nervous laugh “Should I be worried?” he asks warily

“Are you going to sleep with my older sister?” Patrick crosses his arms, an amused smirk on his face

James barks a laugh “Nah, not my type” he winks causing Patrick to laugh as well

“You’ll be fine then” he presses hand to the door again “Any other sensitive questions? Ask now or…wait till we’re in another stairwell” 

James laughs, thinking for a second “How does the family feel about staff dating…fellow staff members?” he asks a little untoward, hands finding his back pockets

Patricks head tilts “My sister and brother don’t approve, but my parents and myself don’t mind as long as it doesn’t create any security risks or effect the quality of your work, and you disclose it of course” he explains before smirking “The handsome stranger she mentioned when we walked in…he was you, right?” 

James chuckles “Hope so, either that or there was another one gallivanting about this morning” he jests but his face soon softens “There just something…”

“...sweet about her” Patrick answers for him with a slight smile and James nods

“Yeah, something sweet”

Thank you for reading ♡

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

Tomorrow's my big day. I quit my motel job on August 12th, moved clear across the state on September 1st, and I officially start my new job as a park groundskeeper tomorrow, December 11th, just one day shy of four full months without employment. This was scary; it really came down to the wire. I didn't expect it to take so long to find something. I bought a used car in April and spent all of spring and summer saving up for my move, and my savings ran out a few weeks ago. My parents have been able to help me coast, and I got $230 in food assistance from the state last month (I was supposed to get more this month, but a bureaucratic fuckup on their end put my case on hold indefinitely), but tomorrow is the start of a new chapter in my life. I have my own apartment, in two or three weeks I'll get my first paycheck and have full time income, I'll be able to pay all my bills and build back up my savings a little at a time, it's a huge step forward for me.

I've been listless for the last 5 years. I graduated from college in December 2018, and I have nothing to show for it. I attempted a life changing move in January 2021 but things didn't go as planned and I had to fall back to my parents' place by April, but this time is different. I'm not stuck scanning groceries, I'm not sitting behind a desk answering the phone, I can keep this job without having a mental breakdown, it's going to be good. I need this structure in my life. I need routine. I need a set schedule with concrete responsibilities so I don't while away the hours flipping between my phone and laptop all day long.

I'm nervous because I consider this my first "real" job. I spent 3 years at the motel, that's pretty real, but what I mean is it was never fulfilling and I hated every second of it because of the tourists I had to deal with, but this is a cushy city job with benefits and potential to move upwards; this could conceivably become a career, though I don't necessarily want it to be just yet. I'll have to see how things go tomorrow and how I feel about it going into 2024; if it turns out to suck then I'll look for something better, but if it's all it's cracked up to be then I'll stick around long term. Thing is, I REALLY need the money right now, so anything is better than nothing.

[mcl38]

What’s your fav Lando pic?

hi anon! you sent this more than a year and a half ago and chances are you don't even follow me anymore. however ive been thinking abt this question that entire span of time

when i first got this ask i made a whole collection of lando pics to choose from, some rly funny ones, endearing ones, pretty shots, etc, and it was really difficult to choose, so i procrastinated the decision pretty much indefinitely

however, a while ago i realised that what i seek in lando content is not him looking pretty or even him being funny or whatever - fundamentally its information. i am the stereotype of the study him under the microscope fan and if we take that literally:

this is the best camera quality close-up of lando i've seen in the 2 years since you sent me this ask

ik that tumblr often messes w photo quality but the version i have saved in my phone is basically endlessly zoomable [edit: i was right. have a google drive link]

i love this pic bc theres SO much i can infer from it - his exact shaving patterns r the best part (especially in the eyebrows, which i didn't know beforehand whether he shaved or waxed) (and if he regularly shaves his eyebrows that means his excuse that he forgot to shave and the goatee just happened is a LIE. because his eyebrows are always shaped. do you see what i mean when i say this photo is a well of information) but also his freckles (he doesnt get those in the winter) and the fact that one of his two prominent moles is lighter and 3d and the other darker but just a spot, and the temple wrinkles he's gotten from laughing like a deranged maniac, and the exact patterns of how he bites his lip, etc

i know this all makes me sound insane but considering my favourite ways to contribute to fandom are 1. portrait fanart 2. characterisation-heavy fic 3. essay-style infodumps 4. knowing the answer to really niche questions people ask, this is the behind-the-scenes of all that. this is how my mind works

[webnovel-deluxe]

Isn't Being A Wicked Woman Much Better? Side Story Chapter 13

I also upload this chapter in my YouTube channel, read there to support my effort, to read click here👉Link

“Because of those bad rumors, when I went to the department alone, the only senior who looked after me and took care of me without prejudice was Dohee.”

“She was a real wingless angel. When I was thinking about taking a leave of absence because of a big problem in my family, even though Dohee was busy, took part in the work and helped out until dawn, so I didn't drop out of school.”

“She was a senior with a really good personality, but she looked so busy that she couldn’t even talk properly… .”

“Everyone liked Dohee, but I’m really, really sorry.”

“You know what? When the staff cleaning the hallway collapsed, senior Dohee gave first aid and called an ambulance, so I was able to receive treatment right before a major problem occurred.”

“She was really kind, so there were a lot of good kids around her. I couldn't even talk because Kim Han-jun sunbae kept her from coming.”

“Ah, that dog is the real senior bastard.”

I'm so grateful that someone told me what I wanted to say.

“Ah, but Kim Han-jun, that crazy little dog is funny.”

“Why?”

“Suddenly, while drinking, he called out Dohee's name and he was sobbing and vomiting, and he wasn't even angry. I was filming a new monodrama by myself, but I saw something I couldn't really see!”

“You can’t see that person’s face these days, so what is he doing?”

“I don't know. He said that he was drinking alcohol every day, and then Matteng went and couldn't doze off, and he just took a leave of absence before the semester started. Rumor has it that he is still drunk these days.”

It's not that Mattang didn't graduate because he went, but he didn't have any skills at all.

The professor would never let him pass the thesis, and even if he graduated, there was no answer, so he was on an indefinite leave of absence to save his face. It's called an honorable death.

“Oh, by the way, is there anyone in touch with Dohee’s senior family members?”

“I keep getting letters to the department office to see if her family has moved. It must have been written down as the second address on the paper.”

“What letter?”

“It’s a letter from a facility kid that Dohee-senpai donated. So it's kind of like calling not to send... ”

“Wow, only real waves and waves are coming out. ”

“That’s it.”

As I listened to them, I quickly walked towards the department's office where the letter from the child was.

thought body spoke to me as I was moving silently.

- There are too many people who like you here without knowing it.

-… I see. I didn't know.

I just scratched the tip of my nose. Although semi-transparent state did not scratch properly .

- That's why, Lucifer's curse that covered your soul was purged in an instant, and a strange thing happened when the God sensed your lost soul.

- What kind of anomaly?

-You are not originally born in Korea, but you were born.

-right.

- Two completely unrelated dimensions intersect, and cracks form at the intersection, allowing you to see the future of this place, albeit for a moment. The future of Asteria without you.

-ah! That +19 novel.

-yes. It's like reading a prophecy.

- If possible, I'll show you to the end.

The thought-form caused a great ripple as if sympathizing again.

-If the rift was bigger, we could have seen more of the future.

- The writer was not lazy. Anyway, I was lucky enough to have averted a planned catastrophe thanks to reading the novel.

I felt a strange feeling.

It's a phone call, and it seems that only bad luck comes in succession in life.

Life in the previous life seemed like only misfortunes were overlapped at first glance, but there were good relationships within it, and thanks to not losing goodwill, I was able to quickly escape the curse of the great devil.

'Also, the knowledge I gained here was very helpful.'

Thanks to different experiences and information about the future, I was able to face the devil more easily.

-Maybe, there won't be a single moment of meaningless time... .

Shoot-ah-

The moment I entered the department's office, a strong wind blew in through the open window, and the white letter on the desk fluttered like a butterfly. It was a reply from a child who I used to sent monthly donations and letters.

They were scattered one by one by the wind, and I slowly scanned the contents in the sunlight that shattered like jewels.

[thank you.]

I filled my eyes with the four letters engraved at the end of the letter.

It was probably the only word I wanted to hear the most in my previous life. And I felt that a true farewell to this world had come.

- Thank you too.

I muttered a bit bitterly. Now it was time to go back to where we were.

***

… I thought so.

-Hey, Mr. Thought?

It seems like it's time to go slowly, but at some point the guy doesn't answer.

-Mr thought-nim?

So I politely called.

-Answer me. I want to go home! You brought me all the way here, so I need you to take me home.

Where did he really go? Is it possible to become a ghost wandering the campus like this?

- This kind of joke is no fun. If you don't show up in 3 seconds, I know how to grind it to a fine powder as soon as I get out! Don't you think I can't break dragon bones? So, to be honest, it's a waste, but you know I'm very rich, right?

I even threatened outright that I would change the body, but the guy doesn't think about responding.

- Ha, what's really going on.

I scoured the campus for a while, trying to find the thought body, and then I felt exhausted, so I sat in the back of the faculty room where I was always sitting and fell on my desk.

- Where the hell did you go?

'I wonder what happened in the sanctuary that contained the rosary?'

But if it were, the thought body would have sensed it first and took action, but it was strange that it was so quiet.

-If you sleep like this, a miracle like that might happen the next day when you wake up in bed.

Deborah Bing's early days of 'sleep', which she tried many times while denying reality!

I didn't come to the place where I slept the best for nothing.

- through this time.

I lay on my stomach for a while and closed my eyes when suddenly something tapped my shoulder.

… wh, who?

I raised my head in amazement, and then I looked at the person in front of me and opened my eyes wide.

-Who the hell are you?

- By any chance, you don't know me?

A soft smile crossed the man's eyes.

I was lost for a moment, then I came to my senses and coughed in vain.

-… Because he's the one I know.

The reason why I didn't recognize it for a moment was because Isidor was wearing an unfamiliar outfit.

- Probably right?

He was wearing a slim fit shirt with a toned body, and even had a watch on his wrist.

He grabs the desk and leans his head in front of me. He had a tight vein on his forearm, with his shirt rolled up.

He smiled as if he was going to decorate the cover of a foreign men's magazine, and he gently trimmed my messy hair.

- Am I dreaming?

- Please. It's time to go home, Deborah Youngae.

-by the way… Sir Isidor, why are you dressed like that?

- These clothes. Don't like it?

-no way. Handsome. the best. Perfect. thank you!

Since it was a state of the soul, the truth began to come out without any fuss.

-I tried to imitate the costume of the portrait that the princess had kept in the past, and you really like this. But who is that bastard? I thought it looked pretty good.

-uh?

- Princess, I saw the house of your previous life.

Aww! aww! Wait a minute.

Come to think of it, the clothes Isidor is wearing. It is similar to the one worn by the GQ cover model I kept in the box in my previous life.

That's... .

- Have you been watching Isidore? Since when!?

-Is it from the time the Princess followed Locke Visconti with a very excited face?

- Me, when am I? And if you're by my side, give me a sign! too bad!

-When the thought body pulled the princess's soul out of the body, my soul came with it too, but even though I could hear it and see it, my voice couldn't reach it.

- Why?

- The thought body didn't seem to want to be interrupted by the conversation with the princess. Maybe now he's allowed us to meet.

He looked around slowly with his characteristic quest planted eyes.

- It's a strange dimension. The fact that he has no mana at all and he has a high-level civilization. This stuff is also interesting.

He looked at the magazine and said, waving his wrist watch that he realized.

- You seem to have already adapted to this place.

Maybe Isidor is the real possessive body. Now, he was a Harley Queen's male protagonist, who can be seen by anyone.

-If I could understand the language here, I would have known better about Princess, but that's a pity.

Isidore didn't seem to understand the words of his family and classmates due to the language barrier. But everything else seemed to have been grasped through conversations between me and the thought body.

- If you didn't see it with your own eyes, it would have been hard to believe.

He said in a voice full of determination.

- thanks.

- what?

- Not so long ago, Princess-sama thought our world was a novel. But in order to be considerate of me, I tried to hide that part and tell only the truth and the core as much as possible.

-.....

As always, he is very kind.

-you… Makes me feel like a really good, nice person. every time.

- You're a good person, aren't you? So it must have been love at first sight Twice.

It was a contradiction to fall in love at first sight, but it was true only to the two of us.

He smiled as he loosened his tie.

-I want to explore this world more, but I don't think the time will be long... .

- Do you know where the thought body is?

-yes. But before...

-yes?

- In the past, who was the man that the princess held until the portrait?

Obviously, he is smiling brightly like a flower, but I can feel the thorns inside.

Although there is a language barrier, there is no barrier to painting, so Isidor was mistaken for the GQ magazine as a portrait of a certain man.

I can't even tell a proper lie because I'm in a state of my soul and I can't make up my face. It is impossible to overwrite that magazine with Yoon Do-yeon, a blood relative of a previous life!

Support me with your like, comments & reblog. That will encourage me to upload next chapter faster

[freedomofthemoon]

Advice wanted:

Anyone know of a not-terribly difficult/expensive way to end up with a notebook with the same thing printed on every page? Like an ethical site to order one from? Or DIY instructions, but if it's not extremely simple I will absolutely add it to the pile of things getting out off indefinitely.

I have been trying to document everything that's been happening at work, but it's a lot of info to keep track of every day. I'm very slow at typing on my phone and prone to distractions, so I think I'd be better off switching to physical pen and paper. It would save a lot of effort if I could just fill in blanks in a form every day and just circle stuff or fill in blanks for the simple stuff, like who was I'm charge at the time or what role I was assigned to that day.

If I could find such a thing, it would also make me way more likely to actually keep a journal tacking physical and mental health symptoms, which could be revolutionary. I am...not good at picking up on patterns (I was in high school before I learned that the phases of the moon marked on paper calendars aren't folksy predictions like a farmer's almanac) and however I feel in the moment is how it's always been and ever will be. Makes getting appropriate treatment challenging.

[slayerchick303]

I need advice. Many of you are aware of what I've been going through for nearly a year now. I've decided I'm going to live in an empty apartment for a few years. I'm doing so to save up money to move in an emergency if my newly privately-owned apartment complex decides to not renew leases to drive out us current tenants. I also don't want to replace my destroyed belongings only to have to move to a smaller place, therefore having to get rid of my new things because they won't fit in a different apartment.

Anyway, to get to my dilemma: my laptop, blu-ray player, and television have been breaking down ever since the flood. I would go back to going to the public library every day to use their computers, but my public library's computers are "closed indefinitely". Plus, you can only use computers for 2 hours at the library, so I was reliant on my laptop the rest of the day at the library, then going home to a blu-ray player to relax at the end of the day.

I contacted an electronics repair company, and they told me because everything I own is so old, repairing them is not viable. They told me it is cheaper to buy a completely new laptop, television, and blu-ray player. I looked it up, and they're absolutely right. I even shopped around for repair companies and all of my local ones would cost roughly the same as the people who told me to buy new stuff instead of repairing it. The only item that would be moderately more expensive to replace is my laptop.

Here is my question: if I start a GoFundMe, is that pathetic? Yes, I live below the poverty line, but shouldn't I just be okay with not having things that are arguably non-essentials for like 4-5 years while I save money to get new ones? Yes, not having a computer is bad because my hand function is not good enough to use a smart phone often after the progression in my degenerative neuromuscular disease. That being said, not having a laptop, TV, and blu-ray player is totally doable. I've lived in much worse circumstances. Shouldn't I just be glad I have a bed, a roof over my head, clothes, and a new wheelchair? Those are all that's important, after all. Is me starting a GoFundMe to replace my laptop, TV, and blu-ray player unreasonable? Is only asking for help with the laptop better? Is asking for help for any of them bad?

I'll put up a poll, but if you have something to add, feel free to reply, reblog, or DM me.